#i will try to update every couple days if all goes well and I manage

[brella-boi]

Secrets Funfair (Act 3-1) - part 1

We resume the tale....

Act 2 part 8 | Act 3[1] part 1 | Act 3[1] part 2

[nipuni]

Yapping time, Hello! It's rainy and Nicolas is making lentil stew 🥰

I wanted to thank everyone for the enthusiasm over my art and all the comments you sent yesterday 😭 you are all very sweet you make me excited to share and keep making art and that is such a huge gift I'll always be grateful for. I not very proficient at social media and keeping up with everything everywhere and end up feeling like I'm not thanking you enough or talking enough so I want to make sure you know that every comment and funny tag makes my day!!

I was going to make more posts talking about DAV but halfway through writing down my frustrations I realized I was not having a good time (and most of my issues with the game have already been covered by Chelsea over twitter way more eloquently too 😆) so I'm going to focus on the parts I did enjoy! I settled on a personality for Rook and now I'll probably replay as a couple of classes to find the one I enjoy the most since I've only tried mage so far.

We also got back to our quest of watching all of David Tennant's work! now in our cozy new sitting room with a fireplace 😭 what the fuck

We finally watched 'Rivals'! We were not expecting it to be a raunchy Pride and Prejudice in the 80's lmao. It was very YA and very gratuitously sexual which is not something we normally go for. We were not really into the main couple and were more invested in Declan's success and whatever Tony and Cameron had going on lmao but it was a fun watch regardless!

Then we also watched 'You, Me and Him' and we were expecting it to be one of those 'it's so bad it's good' cringy comedies but it was genuinely so funny and sweet lmao we always seem to have opposite taste to most critic sites sjakfh The styling was so accurate and hilarious and it felt very Hallmark. We loved it!!

Now we will probably watch the second season of Arcane! we loved the first one a lot so I'm sure this one won't disappoint.

We are trying so hard to resist the urge to rewatch Doctor Who, Broadchurch, There She Goes and Jessica Jones though lmao our crush remains as strong as ever if not stronger 😭

I think I've read every single Broadchurch fic in existence at this point, and I'm painting Alec as we speak oughhgrh help

Other random updates, we managed to get train tickets for a short trip to Madrid on Christmas so we can spend it with Nicolas' family who are still visiting. And also Nicolas is learning about mushrooms since he found a bunch growing in our garden and it has become his latest passion. Now he wants to go gathering, he has already cooked a bunch, he is so excited.

Anyway I think that is all for now!! I'll have more art soon now that I'm finally settled and can get back to my normal schedule 😊 I hope you are all doing well!

[stories-of-the-nrm]

Time Doesn't Heal All Wounds Part 8

Narrator: About 7 months pass and it's now September of 2008. Gordon had been on break after taking the Express to Barrow.

(Gordon enters Scott's room while Gary and George are on their lunch break).

Gordon: Hello brother. I just heard some news about this new engine. Apparently she is to pull her first passenger train today in Loughborough. To think after the completion of her tender only six months prior, she was launched from Darlington. Meanwhile you have been doing nothing but sleep your days away and -

(He stops to take a breath).

Gordon: My apologies for ranting. I know that this is beyond our control, but it feels like mistakes have been made at every turn.

(Gordon rubs his eyes).

Gordon: I bare no ill will to this young engine of course. She likely has minimal awareness of your even existence. My one hope is that one day you can meet her in a conscious state. She would benefit from a mentor. Especially since she will be doing tests for the main line at the museum soon.

(Gordon looks at the clock then pats Scott's hand).

Gordon: I'll try to visit you around Christmas, brother.

(He stands up and goes to leave).

Gary: Oh. Hello, Gordon.

(Gordon nods).

Gordon: Afternoon, gentlemen. I was about to go back to my engine. I have to make the return journey back to Sodor.

George: Ah well we can call for a cab if you want.

(Gordon shakes his head).

Gordon: I can manage fine. Thank you for the offer. I told my brother that I would try to visit around Christmas. Perhaps we can share a meal?

(Gary shakes Gordon's hand).

Gary: Well we'd like to share a nice roast with you, Gordon. Please have Sir Topham Hatt call in advance so we can plan for it.

Gordon: Of course. Thank you for both the offer and for watching over my brother. I hope the boiler will be done soon.

(They wave as Gordon leaves the hospital).

Narrator: Winter arrives and Mr. Scott visits the hospital room.

Andrew: Gentlemen, I have an update.

(Gary and George look at Andrew).

Andrew: We recently got a notification from Riley and Son regarding the boiler parts.

(He takes a breath knowing the ramifications of this).

Andrew: Many rivet holes were misaligned and some of the welding was found to be defective.

(Gary and George are shocked).

George: What does this mean?

Andrew: All of the parts that couldn't be used have already been sent back to Pridhams. It likely won't be refitted until the next year.

(Gary and George groan).

Gary: This isn't good. The doctor said that within 6 months, Scott needs to be woken up or he won't be able to wake up at all.

Andrew: I understand. I'll see if their work is good enough to at least temporarily fit the boiler.

George: Thank you, sir.

(Andrew turns to leave).

Andrew: I'll return once I have word on when the boiler can be refitted.

Narrator: To the fortune of everyone involved, Mr. Scott arrives at the hospital only two months later.

Andrew: Gentlemen I bring good news that the boiler is in good enough condition to be refitted.

(Gary and George sigh in relief).

Gary: Thank goodness. Scott hasn't be doing well these past couple of weeks.

George: Are they refitting the boiler now?

Andrew: Yes, the engineers at Riley and Son should be done with the refitting process by tomorrow. In fact, I'm going to speak with his care team so that he can be woken up by then.

(Andrew leaves the room).

George: Did you hear that Scott? Progress is being made. Just hang in there.

Narrator: The next day, everyone gathered.

Andrew: I have Sir Topham Hatt on the phone. Gordon wasn't able to come on such short notice.

Gary: We understand, sir.

(Dr. Pine comes in).

Dr. Pine: Now I have to advise that you keep things as simple as possible. This is an induced coma so there will be a lot of confusion.

George: Thank you, Dr. Pine.

Narrator: Everyone waits with bated breath as Dr. Pine works.

(Scott groans).

Gary: Scott?

(Scott's eyes flutter).

Scott: Gary?

AN: We're back after the hiatus for my other requests. If I didn't tag you, my apologies as I try my best to include everyone.

Tagging: @londonflowerboy, @werbitssft, @klein-sodor-bahn, @theyellowroseofsodor, @juniebugsss,

@tornadoyoungiron, @pxmun, @nelllia, @pxmun2, @thefedoragirl,

@roosinii, @etherealcaprifandoms, @jessica-sv509510, @jayde-jots, @thatcheeseycandle,

@jordeynnotgordon, @be-kind-and-rewind-again, @hardchildpainter, @asktheoriginalorder, @onyx-and-friends,

@that-mr-e, @sustysteel198, @monika-396, @fabianvalencia561, @gordon208,

@savannahlee-d29, @bladexjester, @sketalya, @agent-7-at-your-service, @i-heart-ukrain3,

@engineer-gunzelpunk, @ladychandraofthemoone, @milkagaisme, @rushingexpress, @toast-com,

@rumivi, @monstersteam, @tronmike82, @moonlightcrystal12, @lorainedoesthings,

@edward2289, @siberian-lioness, @gatatodapoderosa, and @viktuurishipper96.

[mists-reading-nook]

How do you think SAGAU would react to uninstalling and reinstalling the game for computer management?

Imagine the freaking out where you uninstall unprompted, no goodbyes or anything. The world goes dark as a state of panic sweeps the land. Later you make your triumphant return heralded by; "Damn hard drive".

Immediately someone like Albedo is assigned to look into an archaic language known as 'game files' or 'crash reports', to prevent further interferences in the connection. It seems their history was not erased (you still have your account after all), but things were disordered. Mondstat was next to Natlan, windwheel asters grew on roofs, and vessels ceased their connections.

Omg yes...

As someone who has to deinstall and reinstall to update,the Angst is prefect! It's a bit short,but I did cut a couple parts (maybe ill turn them into actual fics,we'll see)

I hope you enjoy!

The world was tearing itself apart. People were freezing in place,the statue of barbatos in Mondstadt was inexplicably floating in the sky, cities were uprooted,buildings destroyed. Pepole gathered in the streets,in the temples,in front of statues,anywhere they could go. They were on their knees, praying for forgiveness from their Creator. Forgiveness for whatever grave sin they committed. Vessels could feel the bond between them and you severing,ripping their souls and sometimes even their bodies. The more powerful and more "beloved" vessels had it the worst. They were in excruciating pain,pain they ignored so they could beg for forgiveness. Some made offering after offering,some said prayer after prayer. Some did both. 

After days and months of suffering,of pure pain,the world mended itself. The vessels could feel their connection returning,surging power and energy back into their mangled bodies. When you finally returned,your words struck them to their core. A "hard drive"?? What was that? What had it done to keep their creator away from them? Was this hard drive the reason you punished them so severely? A certain chief alchemist was put on the top of the research of this "hard drive",as well as some strange,seemingly ancient languages. It wasn't easy,and they couldn't truly understand any of these strange things,but they had to try. That couldn't happen again. That wouldn't happen again. They would Male sure of it. Nothing would separate them from their creator again. Nothing at all. 

Albedo was researching many complex things,things he had never heard of or seen before,but after every experiment or new find,he sent out a progress report to Jean and some other (important) acolytes. They were quite through with many sections. If one of those sections happened to have reports of getting the creator back. If there was,no one spoke of it. Don't worry dear creator,you'll be with them very very soon…

[someone-always-cares]

chapter 5, page 80

first - previous - next

[image description: an sac webcomic page. "it is?" lewis asks. rami doesnt answer, instead saying "also, she's started to bite her way out of the tape.". the panel is zoomed out, showing the entire room bathed in dim red light. despite rami's earlier claims that the room is pitch black, details of the room are easily identifiable. the next panel is zoomed in, the glowing teal border indicating rami's power useage as he watches jade leaning forward and attempting to gnaw through the tape on her arms, having already removed the tape on her mouth, which she's holding in the same hand. the panel also has lighter colours, as his powers make the panel much brighter and with some colour. "i thought you said it was dark?" lewis asks, as rami moves to the tape on his leg. "i have good eyesight. also, we have bigger priorities." he replies. "oh, yeah. you might want to let me free her or she will punch you if she doesn't recognize you."

apologies for the lack of update last week! because i'll be honest, i'm just exhausted lately. but here now, so never mind all that

also, i did indeed attempt to replicate the act of sitting in my chair and leaning forward, seeing if i could manage to bite my arm and non existant tape to try and get references photos for that panel that i never ended up using. they were not at all dignified photos.

anyway book update: giving myself a self imposed deadline of having the kickstarter in august. why august? because i have at least 2 conventions that month and if i manage to have the kickstarter then, i can advertise it while there. so i will make it happen.

additionally: regardless of outcome of when the kickstarter happens or even if it fails: books will be printed some time between september and december. because I have a couple cons in january that i specifically booked in the comic creator area so. kinda need them then.

best case scenario: kickstarter goes great, books printed in september. rewards might take a bit longer but all is well. worst case scenario: kickstarter fails, i print like 20 books with whatever profits i make from august cons.

anyway as an apology here's some sketches for sticker kickstarter rewards. not all of them but i've already shared them to insta the other day, and these are the ones i like the most so far.

[id: clean-ish sketches of 4 sac characters, tsunami, mindforce, faete, and iris. end id]

"everyone here is a freak, i'm the only normal person here" thinks every single one of these characters about the others. well, that's a lie, faete probably knows a bit of a freak but really underestimables her own weirdness

[did-system-did]

I’ve been living alone for the first time in my life for about 5 months now and i wanted to share some things i learned as well as what im going to start trying to do to help myself

1. Time is Hard 🤓

Like, yeah duh, as a system ig it’s a no brainer. But i also don’t have a job right now, and i knew time blended together but it’s increasingly difficult to manage my time, be aware of time, and plan what i do with my time. i wake up, ???????????????, and then it’s night time.

This as been incredibly frustrating for me and lately i’ve been feeling pings of shame that i can’t function. I’ve tried buying a planner, i lose my planner or forget to write in it if i ever do find it. i’ve tried reminders on my phone, i read them and they don’t spark any sort of intention to complete….

WHAT IM TRYING

-Using a whiteboard on my fridge where i put down important things i MUST do

-Setting timers throughout the day to grab my attention. I’ll be starting with one every 2 hours and see how it works for me

2. There’s an Outside???

I cannot tell you the last time i’ve gone outside. I suspect this is connected to my childhood, as for years i was never allowed to leave my room unless it was time to eat or go to school. So now as an adult it’s difficult to even THINK about outside, what’s that?, my brain sees my house as the world and i can spent weeks without leaving the property. some days i feel proud to just go into the backyard

WHAT IM TRYING

-get into a routine of going into the backyard at the same time everyday, for me in the mornings to start. and as time goes on, trying to take more walks, then grow from there and take a drive to the park or something?

3. Chores

This has been the bane of my existence since it’s directly connected to my trauma. i find it difficult to complete household tasks without external pressure or threats, so it’s common for my space to get messy and i’ll have blindness to it all. i hate it.

WHAT IM TRYING

-I used to plan a day to clean every week, but quickly learned that my planner was not going to work for me. so i’ll be trying to clean as i go and not put so much pressure on myself to complete everything in day like i was doing before. Leaving my room? what can i take with me or put away before i go. Leaving the kitchen? what can i put away or wash before i go. i’m hoping this will help facilitate small accomplishments versus thinking i have to clean the whole house in a single day

4. Eating is Hard

i’ve lost an alarming amount of weight due to dissociating through hunger pings or overall not noticing when i should eat. this has started to affect my energy levels and sleep quality and i also suspect stems from my trauma

WHAT IM TRYING

-I’ve been battling this consistently to no avail so i’m finally scheduled to see a nutritionist next month bc with all the other struggles im facing, this particular issue has fell thru the cracks and i couldn’t manage it on my own.

-But i suppose the best thing i’ve tried is actually recognizing it as a problem instead of talking myself out of it by saying “i’m only fasting” when i knew in my heart it was deeper than that

Overall Update: it’s been a tough couple months, but i’m finally getting the ball rolling and the referrals scheduled. im still waiting to hear back for my mental health referrals but im feeling more hopeful about my journey and working on accepting my struggles instead of trying to pass as healthy.

[sanddusted-wisteria]

Unpotable [oneshot]

GN!Builder/Qi; crack

Warnings: None

Also on AO3

Summary: Unpotable Summer Sand Tea: A strange green gooey substance sprawled out on a plate. Everything about it implies its impalatability, but its forbidden nature compels you to try it.

In which Qi somehow manages to mess up tea. Cut him some slack, though, he's only made it…several hundreds of times before…

A/N: Happy update! One of the new mechanics added is that your spouse can cook for you! Which is really sweet. Only issue is that not every spouse can cook all too well (Qi downright admits on multiple occasions that he cannot cook)…and they always have a chance of flubbing the dishes. One of Qi's options is summer sand tea…and yes, he can somehow screw it up. The description for bad food is generic across all the dishes, but it really seems to fit for the tea. I've had this half-finished since I've been beta testing this update, but the update came out sooner than I expected, so here you go! Enjoy!

------------

It’s gelatinous.

The builder slowly tips the glass sideways. The green substance stays put, until at about a 60 degree tilt, when it starts to slide out. They quickly right the glass again. The jelly falls back down to the bottom with a quiet flump.

The builder blinks and looks up at Qi with a look of barely-restrained horror.

“I…don’t know how this happened,” Qi says, pursing his lips.

It’s tea. At least, it’s supposed to be tea.

“D…Does all your tea end up looking like this…?” the builder asks meekly.

“N-no, no! It doesn’t. The pitcher is perfectly fine, see?” He holds up the fresh pitcher of tea. It’s all still liquid in there.

“Uh-huh…” The builder goes back to staring at the peculiar stuff in the glass. They shake it around a little, and the mystery goo jiggles with it.

…Does it still taste like tea?

They lift the glass towards their face.

“No.”

Would it feel like jelly in their mouth? Or would it just dissolve instantly?

“Do not.”

Is it chewy? Crunchy on the inside? Sticky? Gummy?

“I implore you.”

Was this like one of Fang’s weird potions that turns them different colors? Or maybe it would turn their bones to jelly…or knock them out…or melt their tongue off…or—

Qi snatches the glass out of their hand with an exasperated look on his face. “H-How about we safely discard this substance and not risk our lives consuming it?”

The builder freezes, tongue halfway out. “Aw, come on! It’s for science!”

“Science does not involve pouring unknown substances down every orifice. And kindly remind me to bar you from entering the Research Center whenever I’m running any experiment with chemicals.”

The builder snorts. “You know, I still have that bottle of sulfuric acid you gave me somewhere…”

“I’m confiscating it immediately.”

“Aw…” The builder slumps, but they can’t hide the mischievous grin on their face.

Qi lets out a sigh. It wasn’t everyday that he was the voice of reason among them. He inspects the glass again with a frown. “Hold on…”

The builder raises an eyebrow.

After a brief turnover of the glass, Qi's eyes widen. “Ah, that makes sense. This is one of my glassware pieces.”

The builder feels the blood drain from their face. “...From your home office…?”

“Yes, I was wondering where this one went. A couple days ago, I used it in an experiment where—”

“We need to pour that tea into every glass we have.”

“Eh? Wh-what—?”

“How much glassware are you missing?”

“Um…I believe I’m still missing one other glass— Ah.”

And so begins a process: line all the cups in the cabinet out on the table, pour a little tea into one of them, and swish it around a bit. If nothing happened, rinse and repeat with the next one.

Glass number 6 turns the green tea a very unappealing brown.

The builder and Qi exchange a look.

“...We need to label these.”

“...Indeed. Lest we want to suffer an unpleasant demise.”

The builder looks down at the pitcher. It’s almost empty now. “Shame about the tea. Wasted a whole lot of it.”

“Unfortunately so. I…can brew another kettle?”

The builder smiles and nods. “We’ll just drink straight from the pitcher this time.”

------------

A/N: Btw, sometimes some spouses have a chance of making "gourmet" or better than average dishes with better perks. After trawling through the text file of the game, there appear to be no such options for Qi's dishes (summer sand tea, milk chestnut, tea porridge, tea egg). So poor Qi can always mess up his dishes, but can never make anything better than average.

It's okay tho we still love him

[paalove]

You’re taking prompts!! 🤩 would you write some AkkAyan? Maybe during university life dealing with Akk’s internalised homophobia and figuring out what his and Ayan’s level of comfort is in terms of being open about their relationship? Or something like that I don’t mind at all I love your writing!

oh wow, you prompted this in april - guessing i got caught up in essays and updates and, of course, The Vanquished Beast (dissertation) haha, sorry about the Months-Long-Wait. this will go up on ao3 sometime this evening, but im trying to post something else today as well, so it might be a little while! {edit: now up on ao3!}

anyway, this might be the only thing i ever write that actually goes with our skyy2's Bad And Incorrect Ideas re: akkayan's university plans. fhbdhbdh

....

It’s a nice bench, under a little roof, and Aye points that out as he drags Akk by the hand and adds, “That makes it perfect to sit with a laptop under.”

“Ohh,” Akk nods, smile wide and confident, “What would I use the laptop for, huh?”

Aye shrugs and turns back to him, looks at the sun on Akk’s face and thinks about how pretty he is, but doesn’t answer.

Akk answers himself, anyway, saying, “Probably for working on. I wouldn’t be video-calling anyone, right?”

He’s nearly laughing at his own joke, but it’s Aye’s joke too, so he’ll allow it – he wanders around the bench and back into Akk’s space again.

“That’d be redundant,” he agrees.

Catching his hand, Akk stands over him with light in his eyes and says, “How would it be redundant?”

Aye’s glad he asked.

With a hum, he twines their fingers together properly – Akk doesn’t always catch them right, trapping two of Aye’s together, because his hands are bigger and just that little bit clumsier, but Aye can always fix it – and as he’s watching their hands he explains, “Well, you’re always going to be wearing one Bluetooth headphone, and we’ll always be in each other’s ears. A video call at the same time would probably make a weird feedback loop.”

Akk snorts.

He doesn’t disagree.

This is how they’re handling it – or, well, he’s pretty sure they’re handling it? Aye isn’t having the best time, thinking forwards, and every couple of days he calls his mae, or Akk’s parents, or Akk, or sometimes Thua or the guys, and asks if he’s making a stupid choice, but the choice is made and Akk’s university wouldn’t take a registration this late anyway, so the choice is made.

But Akk doesn’t seem like he’s as freaked out as Aye, or even as freaked out as he was, and that’s because they’re handling it like this; the jokes about how they’re going to manage being attached at the hip from five thousand nine hundred and ten miles away-

Okay, Aye hasn’t told Akk he’s memorised the specific number.

And he’s so grateful for the difference between when their terms start, because it means he gets to bother Akk and make him learn the city with Aye, and they can kind of pretend they haven’t decided to make everything way harder than it needs to be. Like they always do.

Eventually, Akk says, “The time difference is six hours in the summer and seven in winter, we won’t always be awake at the same-“

“-You included daylight savings when you looked up the time difference?” Aye grins, delighted.

Akk’s busy sputtering and trying to deny it when-

“Hey, man!”

He drops Aye’s hand and turns.

This doesn’t alarm Aye at first – they aren’t actually physically glued together, no matter what Thua might say.

Or Mae.

Or pretty much anyone else they know.

But they aren’t and it’s not weird to drop the hand you were stroking to have an entirely separate conversation with… someone.

Who is this guy?

Akk is nodding a lot as they speak and calling him phi, but Aye doesn’t recognise him, and Akk’s classes haven’t actually started yet, so he isn’t quite sure where this guy could be from.

Again, not literally attached, but-

“And your friend…” the senior is suddenly turning to him, expression open. “You must be from a different faculty, right? You weren’t at the welcome meeting.”

“Oh, I don’t go here-“

“-This is Aye,” Akk agrees, taking his hand again – which would be good except for what happens next – and adding, “And I’m so sorry, he actually has to meet up with someone,” and before Aye really knows what’s happening he’s been pulled away and out of sight.

He’s still looking over his shoulder at where they just came from when Akk stops, so abruptly Aye crashes into him.

Akk tries to step back; not allowed, so Aye winds an arm around his waist as quick as he can.

Clearly there’s a very serious issue.

Obviously they need to be hugging for this.

When he looks up, Akk’s face is pained, and Aye can think of half a dozen things that could be the issue but he won’t press-

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what my fucking issue is, I shouldn’t have-“

“-It’s fine,” Aye says, but apparently he will press because Akk needs it. “What was that about?”

Because if Akk didn’t know, if he was confused, that would have been ‘I don’t know why I did that’ – if he’s talking about ‘my issues’, he’s in self-hating mode, so he must have some idea.

That thought process has Aye nearly reaching a conclusion, and his heart clenches because he doesn’t want Akk to hate himself over that, but it’s for Akk to say, not him.

Slowly, Akk closes his eyes.

Aye puts the other arm around him, because he might go into escape-mode at any moment. Not allowed.

“I started thinking about introducing you as my boyfriend,” he says to Aye’s shoulder, “And then he actually asked. And I just- it just felt like I was back at Suppalo.”

“Akk-“

“Sorry.”

“Akk,” Aye tries to interrupt, intervene, because Akk sounds like he thinks Aye’s mad at him, and yeah, sure, he thought Akk was past this stuff, but that doesn’t mean he could ever be mad at Akk for it.

But Akk doesn’t wait, repeating, “Sorry,” and awkwardly, slowly adding, “I don’t even want people to not know about you. I like people knowing you’re my boyfriend. It’s nice.”

Which is definitely a cue for Aye to hug him tighter and stare up at him with all the devotion he had learned to tone down in school settings – reluctantly, and only with frequent reminders from their friends, but he had learned. Emergency situations are different, though, and Akk’s sad.

That’s the most emergency a situation can be.

Akk meets his gaze and gets visibly caught in it, does that thing where he tries to close his eyes but can’t for long because he just wants to stare back.

“It is nice,” Aye agrees. Carefully unwinding one arm, he reaches up to stroke Akk’s head and says, “But it’s not something you owe me.”

Face filled with disagreement, Akk shakes his head and repeats, “I don’t know why I’m like this now.”

Aye doesn’t either, doesn’t know what to say to it all, but even though he’s not always as smart about this stuff as he used to pretend, there was someone in his life who really was, once. The answer comes to him from a memory.

He swallows against the feeling.

“Uncle Di told me, once, that problems come back around once you’re ready. So you can prove to yourself that you’re stronger than before.”

Akk hums, and Aye feels it in his chest too.

“What,” Akk starts, swallows, and continues, “What do you think that means for me? Now?”

Aye thinks…

Well, he’s pretty sure it’s for Akk to know, and to decide, and they can talk about it seriously and they can talk about it for a long time, but it’s been a couple of minutes since he’s seen Akk smile.

Ignoring all his thoughts, then, Aye says, “Hm… well, I think that because last time you ended up stealing a car about it, this time it has to be more. At least a bus… maybe you could steal a truck?”

“Aye,” Akk laughs, beautiful and embarrassed.

“Could you steal a truck?”

“Why would I steal a truck-“

[darkanddirtyknb]

Update

Hi loves! Thank you to those who sent me well wishes! I got a couple of questions, so I’m just going to answer them here to save on duplicating the same ones. Everyone should have been answered privately. If you didn’t get a message from me, then I probably didn’t receive yours--Tumblr loves to munch on my messages. The surgery I had done was on June 8th. It’s supposed to help alleviate a few of my conditions, but it will take about six months before I’ll know what it’s really going to do. Right now, I’m in a pretty bad state. I’ve been sick since the day of the procedure. I’m having a lot of side effects and one of them is that my fibromyalgia pain has gone from bad to almost unbearable. I have some upcoming appointments to discuss how to manage this for the time being. I also have a cortisone shot coming up to manage my tendinitis. We’ll see whether or not this one takes hold. The first one did, the last one did not. I’ve been going through some mood adjustments too. I’ve been fighting for so long and I can say with all my heart that I was doing a damn good job of being strong. But lately, I feel like I’m on the brink of a mental break. It’s all catching up to me and now that the pain is worse than it already was, I don’t know how much more I can take. It feels like every time I try to do the right thing, to make things better, everything just goes in the opposite direction. Sigh. But it is what it is, right? I have to get through this. I was denied coverage for Mayo clinic since I have state-based insurance and their financial assistance programs don’t cover enough of the out-of-pocket costs for me to go. That was another setback. I just feel like I’m never going to get to the bottom of this. But that kind of thinking isn’t going to do me any good either. I just have to keep digging for that silver lining. Thanks again to everyone who has followed me on this journey. Your love and support is much appreciated. Take care! 🖤

[maddie-van-fleet]

Love Through The Lens

----------------------------November 29-----------------------------------

**edited by @pictures-of-time **

Multiple part series// this will contain graphic scenes, so it is 18+, MINORS DNI.

I did make a playlist for this series, feel free to listen along while you read :) i hope y'all enjoy it!! I, also, will be linking the master list to every chapter, once I get it made! The first few chapters are really short but i promise they will be longer from this point! I just needed the backstory laid out first.

note: this is my first full series story, so i do apologize if it isn't the best! I have pre written a few chapters so that i am able to post the first couple chapters, since they're short! I will get more drafted up over the next few days, so i can post asap! Please let me know what you think, as i am always trying to improve.

Summary: It was always your dream to be a concert photographer, and you had finally landed yourself a reputable status as a freelancer. Life, though, takes a turn when you land a job for Greta. The plan was to do the job, in and out, nothing more, but things get quite complicated when you start to develop feelings for a certain guitarist.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 2

It had been a few years since graduation, and honestly, it had not gone totally to plan. A goal of business marketing in college and a solid 9-5 soon turned to something else. Being in music city, and away from your parents constant nagging,caused a change of heart. Suddenly, you understood what it meant to have a dream. And so, you had dropped out of college, not wanting to waste your time, and started freelance work as a concert photographer. It was hard, SO HARD, but after saving up for proper equipment, building up a portfolio, and taking every opportunity to photograph small artists that you could, you had finally built up a reputation in the industry that was catching the eye of bigger artists.

----current day----

You had just arrived at your favorite coffee shop. You ordered a chai latte, an apple danish, and found a seat in the farthest back corner away from the business of everyone chatting and walking around. Today wasn't too busy; no jobs scheduled for tonight, allowing more time to check emails and update the portfolio on your website. 

You had just logged into your laptop when a certain conversation caught your attention. You had never been one to eavesdrop until something they said made you go stiff. "Yea this band is really, really good! Apparently they're from Michigan, but they blew up so much this past year!". 

There was no way it was a coincidence, right? It couldn't be. You shook it off, not wanting to ponder on that and bring up old scars. The next few hours were spent answering emails and booking jobs when one in particular caught your eye. 

Oh no…no, no no no. You rubbed your eyes, thinking you were losing your mind, and you clicked on the email.

                  

   Hello, y/n

This is the social media and marketing manager for Greta Van Fleet! We have seen your work, and would love to set up a meeting with you about a few shows we'd like you to shoot! and if all goes well, we would also like to offer you a full time position! Please email us back as soon as you can to set up a meeting!

You stared at the screen, rereading it a hundred times. There was no way the boys wanted this, right? Especially Jake....after everything you had said. It had all been a mistake, he never deserved those words. But what could taking this job hurt? Do the couple of shows,  try to apologize and explain yourself, then be on your way. You needed the money, and it would give you a chance to fix things. There was no way the boys would want you to work full time anyways.

        

 Hello!

  I would love to set up a meeting, I am actually available today if anything this afternoon works! I can make my schedule work around yours since I work completely freelance.

You pressed send, letting out a breath you didn't know you were holding. Pushing  your laptop aside you took  a bite of your snack and enjoyed your coffee, taking a break, when you heard the familiar ding of your emails. You open it to see their management already replied. WOAH that was fast.

      Y/N, today works perfectly! We see that you're local to Nashville and that is where our offices are actually located! We will send you the address, and we cannot wait to see you later today! We have your portfolio website, but feel free to bring anything else you would like to show us!

W-wait, they LIVED in Nashville now too?! You slammed the screen shut, putting your face in your hands. "I wasn't ready to SEE them today, what the hell do I say?" you whispered to yourself, feeling an anxiety attack coming on. You gathered your things and left for your apartment to prepare for the meeting.

Never did you think that after 3 years the boys would want to speak to you, not after you basically told them their dreams would fail. And now here they are, successful, selling out shows. Then there's you, someone who acted high and mighty only to realize just how wrong you were and now you have to face them. So, you drive back to your apartment, allowing all your anxiety, concerns and worries take over your mind.

Will they even want to see me?

[expressionbean]

updates updates! all great things. i just want to get it out buuut nobody irl is currently available to listen to theo scream time. buckle up friends

first, i'm trying to clean up all my blogs. very excited because i'm getting more time to write now than i have the past month or so.

back to school rush is over at work. that means i don't get scheduled for shifts every single day! i will get scheduled a lot during home football games because i work in a college town in the south USA. football is a big deal here. however, i have days off now, which is really nice.

as for academics: i'm talking with one of my professors later this week about possibly seeking a master's degree in actuarial science or pursuing actuarial science in general - i like the risk management side of my degree program a lot more than i thought and a job that combines risk management with statistics and data analytics... exciting. making grabby hands right now for real.

i'm doing a bunch of stuff with WSIA (wholesale & specialty insurance association) this year as usual, including traveling to conferences if all goes well. i very well may also be traveling (on a scholarship!) to london next year, so now i'm trying to go through passport obtaining hell. it's quite the process to get one these days, but it's really exciting and feels more real than it did last year.

studying for my upcoming exams is going pretty good so far. for the non-risk management/insurance/actuarial science people, i'm trying to get a lot of certificates by january 2024 and then a few more in may 2024. for anyone who does want specifics or is just curious, the next paragraphs go over what i'm actually up to with those! feel free to skip over it lol. i'll put it under a cut so it's not too long!

i have a few exams for the cpcu (chartered property/casualty underwriter designation, very very hard to obtain and holds a LOT of weight in the industry - some companies treat it like a master's degree and those who hold it do indeed sign off with it much like lawyers sign off with JD) coming up. i won't be able to get the full designation by the end of my bachelor's degree, but i will be able to get a couple!

i found out recently that i may not have to take section 520 of it at all because i attend one of a few accredited schools in the country, and my insurance ops class lets me have a waiver for it if i pass with an 80 or higher. i don't think they'll let me have a waiver for 500 since the associated class i made literally a 79, but i'll apply anyway. the ethics portion should be easy and i can schedule that for... whenever. i just have to find a block of time where i can sit and do it.

as for the exam i'm really worried about, i'm taking the alabama department of insurance's property and casualty license exam in december. and normally, i wouldn't be worried because i love p&c, but the studying materials are so awful. they're dense and have no graphs, section breaks, spacing, pictures, nothing!

it's just hundreds of pages of text in small black serif font. i'm going to break out my dinosaur sticky tabs. and my highlighters. and i will hope my ADHD brain gets excited enough about the dinosaurs to let me read the prep manual. my professor for my p&c class is letting me quiz one of the sections on thursday and i've barely opened the book. LMAO.

anyway, thanks for reading if you got this far! i hope y'all have a lovely week.

[lookatlavender]

hello sweet one 💫 i took a little time off tumblr and your reply to my ask and your post about your last couple ruins were quite a lovely welcome back.

so many good thoughts here. how lovely of you to offer that i put that spiked collar on you. once you hard earned all the clamps on your pussy i might just put it on you. i wonder if it has an adjustable size? i’d put it in on the widest notch first so you don’t even feel all the spikes and then each time you ruin i’d close it a little tighter until you were begging me to stop. maybe you’d be begging me to start putting clamps on your nipples instead, or maybe you’d be asking me to stop touching you so you stop adding time to your denial. My tongue on your tdick between all the clamps would be all soft and gentle.

I’d take off all your clamps while you fuck me so you can feel all sensitive but i’d definitely keep that collar on you. And yeah, the idea of you being all stretched open and fucking me and so completely denied ……. does a lot for me. Knowing you’ve given up all your pleasure to make me cum. Maybe I’d try to train you so you automatically bring me the numbing cream when you want to fuck me. I’d switch it out for arousal gel every now and again without telling you (if we talked about it beforehand 💞) just to mess with your head sometimes 💗

i also really liked reading about your last few ruins. i’d have loved to be there with my fingers down your throat to give you everything you were fantasizing about. 💖💞💫

hello 😊💖 as always, i’m glad you enjoy hearing about my adventures 🤭

☺️☺️☺️ the collar is adjustable, on the loosest setting you can’t really feel the spikes in a painful way, but even one notch in and they’re painful. i think there’s 4-5 notches too, so it would be almost unbearable by the last one. i think i’ve gotten it about halfway tightened before, never managed to get it all the way though. once i had the collar tight i’d barely even be thinking about the clamps you had on me, just trying not to ruin again so the collar doesn’t have to get any tighter. i’d beg you to slow down, let me breathe for a second so i can back down from the edge. maybe you would be nice and take you tongue off my tdick, maybe you wouldn’t. i would just have to beg pretty enough, i suppose, that my begging was more of a show than a ruin would be

wearing the collar while i fucked you afterward would make me so feral too, the pain combined with the high of fucking into you while i’m all subby from your teasing would drive me so wild. i’d be trying so hard to focus on pleasing you, trying to work past the sensation of the collar and the strap driving into you and ignore the urge to chase my own pleasure.

i bet you’d train me so well to do just that too, since it’s one of your favorite things. whether you trained me to hold my pussy open, or trained me with the numbing cream, or both. i know it wouldn’t take long for you to melt my little brain and turn me into your edging toy to tease endlessly. when you “surprised” me with the arousal cream it would be fun too, just an added sadistic twist to make it even harder to ignore my need to cum for you.

i’m glad you enjoyed the write up of my last ruins 🤭 i might as well update you on my no-touch ruins as well, since I finished them today. all of the first ones were pretty similar, with me grinding my legs together, groping with my tits and playing with my nipples, and thinking about whatever fantasy was getting me turned on that day. the first couple were at work in the bathroom, and the fantasies were very…degrading, to say the least. i’ve been very into that and humiliation for the last few weeks. not so much verbally, but just..being made to do things that are degrading. having to crawl to people, being a human ashtray, having to lick boots clean 🙈🙈 honestly the list goes beyond that but i like to leave a little mystery here and there 🤭 the other ruins i was in bed, worked up in the morning one day. i was grinding for hours, for a little while on my pillow, and finally when i had edged myself to exhaustion i rolled over to sleep. of course once i had given up i relaxed enough and started getting worked up again, and a minute or so later i was ruining, legs spread while i was gasping and twitching through one of the heaviest ruins i’ve had in a while. still not as satisfying as a full orgasm, but it was enough to knock me out for a morning nap afterwards

the last ruin i did was different, since i thought it was boring to be ruining the same way over and over again. i’ve never done it before, but I decided to ruin while grinding on the corner of a table. i have a small desk in my room and while i was home alone i stripped down to my panties and started grinding on the corner. i hadn’t touched myself yet that day so i was already kind of hard. at first i couldn’t catch a good angle, and i was getting frustrated trying to grind my pussy when i wasn’t getting any sensation. but eventually i angled my hips down, and the corner of the table skirted right across the shaft of my tdick. it caught me so off guard i kinda jolted and almost lost hold of the corners of the desk 🤭 it was kind of hard to keep the right angle, but eventually i managed it and was able to build towards cumming. the angle almost felt more like fucking than grinding which was honestly really hot, and is definitely part of what got me there. once i finally managed to tip over the edge it was hard to force myself to pull back, but i reminded myself that i wanted to be good for everyone so i made myself stop 🙈🙈

now i have the last 10 ruins left, which i’m going to force myself to do all in one sitting. my goal is to stretch myself up to a decently sized toy to cockwarm, and then i’ll use the hitachi to make myself ruin 10 times before i’m allowed to pull off. i won’t be allowed ti move or fuck myself on the toy at all, just have to sit all the way down on it and feel so full while my pussy ruins around it over and over 🤭 even the thought of that is making me so fucking horny rn 🙈🫠

(i plan to film the last 10 ruins so i can post it on a few different sites, so a little extra time and planning is gonna go into that before i can do it and get a write up made. i’m hoping to do it next week right around this time tho!)

[sassyandclassy94]

Crush Update (buckle up, girlies. This is gonna be a long one)

Okay so I’ve had a couple days to process and now I’ll fill in my tumblr mutuals that are interested and record it into my little virtual diary.

Last week was really bad. I was really depressed (like really depressed, worse than I’ve felt in a long time) over things that have been said to me about the whole situation. Instead of leaning on and trusting in God I dwelt on words from man. Anyway it all got to be too much, even after two very positive interactions, and by Wednesday it was just… yuck. But Tuesday, I gave things some thought and decided that I was going to try my very darn hardest to actually give Isaiah and the whole situation over to God. And for three and a half days every time he would cross/enter my mind I would try to replace it with scripture - specifically I Peter 5: 6-7 where it says to Cast your cares on Jesus for he cares for you. And it helped. Plus I knew a song from when I was little that used that verse so when he would come into my mind, I’d mentally sing it or recite the verse. And if I wasn’t doing that, I tried to work on my writing. Which also helped. Not to sound like John-Boy but getting out of your own headspace while getting into someone else’s (in my case Baelfire’s) really helps take your mind off your anxieties. If you’re a writer, I really recommend doing that along with prayer. But anyway it helped. I was also telling God that “Okay, he’s yours. I give him over to you. You know what’s going on here and why things have been weird but, he’s yours. You can have him.”

Then Wednesday night my sister’s best friend posted a clip of a guy saying how as soon as you start controlling a situation, the situation controls you and it takes the fun out of the whole thing. If somethings meant to happen it’s gonna happen on its own, smoothly. I don’t think it was from a Christian perspective but God still used it to hit me and penetrate my skull. I cried and told the Lord I’m sorry and that things were going well until I started to control things on my own. Thursday rolled around and it’s getting a little harder to rest in God lol! I was in the shower and I prayed out loud: “Lord, I miss Isaiah… think it’s okay if I send him a text?” And this may sound odd to any of you who are non-Christians but I really felt like God was telling me “Hold off a little longer, child. Be patient.” So I tried. And I worked on more of my writing later too.

Enter Friday. I was at work, when all of a sudden, noon rolls around and I feel my butt vibrate. Now, I’m not technically allowed to have my phone on me during work but since the manager was gone that morning I had it on me in case she needed to get a hold of me or if I had a question and eventually forgot that I had it with me🤷🏻‍♀️ Anyway I figure “Eh, it’s probably a sister.” But as I gave it some thought I realized that my sisters don’t really text me that time of day… so I took it out to look and lo and behold, IT WAS ISAIAH!!! I was so excited!!! My manager was right there and knew what was going on and she goes: “That’s awesome!!! But don’t be a girl!!! Be an adult and… just let him stew and sit there for a while; make him wonder what you’re up to😏 it’ll be good for him.” So I did. I tried to put it out of my mind and even put my phone in my locker during my lunch break so I wouldn’t be tempted to open it. Then I get out of work and of course I’m excited to tell my mom. But then I got to thinking: “What if it’s something stupid like ‘Youth Group is cancelled tonight’ or something church related? Then I lucky stand it any longer and didn’t want to make a fool out of myself to my mom in case it was that. So I opened it and it wasn’t that! His text read: “How’s your week going?” A TEXT SHOWING HE CARES! SHOWING THAT I WAS ON HIS MIND!!!! And it was on his own, out of the blue!!!! It meant to much!! And then when I answered him, he was responding within 20 minutes right up until youth group! It was so much fun! And when I asked him how his is going he actually gave me an in-depth answer instead of the stupid dreaded “Fine.” It was so much fun, I was literally reeling from it most of the weekend!

Then comes Sunday. He was in church on Sunday for both Sunday school and the service because he didn’t have to fill the pulpit elsewhere. Well, during Sunday school our Sunday school teacher took us to 1 Samuel 25, the chapter about Abigail, as an example of wisdom and wise words bringing health to a situation (she talked David down from executing revenge). After Sunday school, my sister Michaiah talked to him a little bit but when he was done, he turned around toward me and said “Hey! Your character was in the lesson today, how about that?” Stupid me thought he meant David cause he’s my favorite person from the Bible and when I said “DAVID??” He goes: “No! Your namesake! Abigail!” I mean GIRLS! There are THREE other Abigails in this church other than me but he thought of ME! ME!😍😍😍 And before that, he made a joke/jab at Michaiah and when he laughed, he looked at me, then laughed a little more after he saw I was laughing at his joke🥰 It was so cute! I can say that right?

Later that Sunday we had a Singspiration - the fifth Sunday of the month is always a Singspiration, it’s fun - and as usual, Isaiah have a hymn story about Blessed Assurance. It was really good, I wish I recorded it cause it was that good. But I didn’t. Anyway, after church I went up to him and told him how much I enjoyed his story. He was very appreciative and told me how he found it (he follows a blog apparently lol) and that led to me asking him if he’ll be teaching Sunday school again this year. He said he will be and he starts next week and I probably showed way too much excitement😂 But you know what? He didn’t care. I think he genuinely liked the compliment and reaction because his face showed genuine appreciation. He didn’t even make a self-deprecating comment about it like he tends to do. He just smiled and took it with grace😍 Then eventually Michaiah joined us and our conversation and it was fun, but before I left I wanted to ask him a private question about depression, asking if he dealt with a similar feeling as I do (that I won’t be disclosing on here, sorry y’all🙈) so I asked my sister to give us some privacy for a minute (and she did, bless her little heart!). But guys it was really nice. He explained a little of how he struggles but you know what? He understood. He didn’t shame me or make me feel like less of a Christian. No, he genuinely understood. I mean of course he does cause he struggles the same way but… you know how refreshing it was to actually talk to someone - the man I’m interested in no less - who gets it?? Aw guys it was really nice, so nice.

God is showing me that hope is still alive and that it’s wrong to give up. Is it frustrating that he hasn’t asked me out yet? Yes. But you know what? I’m okay with that. If he’s the one then it’s gonna happen eventually and there’ll be no stopping it. I just need to rely on and trust God and wait on His timing. (And that’s another thing, God has also been showing me so many verses on being patient and waiting on Him - not just in my devotions but also showing up in my Instagram - that’s another huge reason why I’m so sure He’s telling me to wait)

[ashsomethingart]

Good evening my loves!

I hit a bürnøut wall pretty hard a couple days ago, and it’s been a rough one. I’m gonna have to power through recovering and get back to work soon, because rent is coming up fast, but I wanted to take a moment to talk about this issue.

As all of you may know, I’m a 100% independent artist. I don’t work for a company, instead I work for all of you who order commissions from me.

That being the case, it comes with a lot of work that people don’t ever see. This month has brought some absolutely phenomenal changes to me in the form of tech/setup which will make some parts of the process a lot faster and easier, but the reality of what I do is that 95% of my job is not art, and all of that side and back-end work can be soul crushing.

I’ve talked about it in the past, but to upkeep what I do I have to do constant commission hunting, create marketing materials and maintain a constant social media presence, continuously update my portfolio, constantly learn new techniques and art programs, as well as keep up with doing the art, planning and completing my personal projects, keep my merch and print shops up to date, and so forth.

My biggest roadblock as an independent artist is having no base income; meaning a consistent amount of money I get at regular intervals. Every dollar I make is either from commissions or tips, and currently I can work upwards of 100 hours in a week without earning a single dollar, because none of that 100 hours ends up being art that has been paid for, but work to help me BRING IN new paid work.

It’s incredibly rough on me and I’m always on the lookout for ways to make it easier; I tend to go through this ebb and flow of doing 1-2 months of work with a crazy amount of output that ends in 2-3 weeks of intense burnout where I’m totally nonfunctional, then come back to the grind.

I do not have a social life. I wake you to work and I tend to work until I crash for the day, then rinse and repeat.

Not having a base income means I can’t plan for savings. I can’t set aside money for upgrades to my business; I have no emergency funds. If any single thing goes wrong I can be set back by months.

It also means that every month, when the 1st rolls around I have to make a mad dash to the finish line to meet rent and I never know if I’m going to have it all in time or not.

The last two months I was on time, but for around 6 months prior to that I was over a week late.

When I explain all of this, most people fall back on that argument of “Well why don’t you get a real job” and I’m not going to explain my reasoning here but suffice to say; I can’t. It’s this or nothing for me.

All of that said, I have a business plan for myself that hinges on all of you; the start of that plan is (and has been) to build myself up a base income that I can rely on every month, and once I have that, start expanding what I do.

It’s no secret that I have big plans that don’t seem to go anywhere, and the reason they don’t is because I’m CONSTANTLY grinding trying to upkeep my bills and rent, and I have no energy to put into those plans.

I want to move forward with my tarot decks.

I want to start a new endeavor that I’m calling Something Strange. I want to start actually publishing my webcomics.

But I’m not fortunate like some artists who somehow manage to land the startup funds I would need to be able to focus on just those things. I currently HAVE to rely on commissions while slowly building my base income up.

Which is where I come to my point.

I was on Patreon for ages, and I did fairly well there; however it was really only pocket change I managed to get from that platform and I got hit with a warning every few months because they didn’t agree with my content.

Eventually, I left Patreon and founded my VIP Funpass membership, which I host right through my website.

I need to build this membership up to the point where I’m making at least $800 a month on it, and I’m asking you all to support me in that endeavor. Please.

On the VIP Funpass you choose how much you pledge each month: I have four tiers; $5, $10, $25 and $50.

In the past I’ve gone on about what YOU get if you join up, but you can find all the info about it on my website.

If I can build my VIP Funpass memberships up to the point where I am making $800 a month through my site, and only my site, that covers my site ent ($675), my phone bill ($50) and my Internet bill ($25) plus the fee my seller platform takes.

It will remove around 80% of my daily stress and help me stop needing to grind myself to burnout.

This will mean I can put more focus on finishing commissions, cut my turnaround time in half, and allow me to divert energy into my passion projects.

So, I’m asking everyone who follows me to consider subscribing to my VIP Funpass Membership; the way I see it is, for the same cost as a single fast food meal every month you can help me change my life for the better; support an independent artist and help fight back against AI image generators all in one go.

So, do with all of that info what you will; if you want to learn more about the VIP Funpass Membership you can check it out here.

[dashawfrostart]

This Week In "Time & Again" #12: It's Alive... Alive! Honest! And A Little Sour, And A Bit Sweet!

Guten Fhtagn! It's been... a while again.

(this is just a colourful teaser for you now, because it feels silly to make a post that starts with a wall of text - even though I personally love walls of text. Keep reading and you'll find out why those weird empty rectangles are here! And as I often do: there's an animated GIF in the end of the post!) Lately, life has sucked me into a giant cycle of great and lush eventfulness. Kinda as if I hopped into a funnel and then swirled around a bit. I might even say it was fun (haha, fun funnel 😁 What, not funny?.. Lame?.. Aah, well then). So, below goes a straightforward chronological report on what happened to "Time & Again" during this long looooong period of my blogging hiatus.

2 weeks ago I've actually spent only a few days working on "Time & Again" - much less than anticipated. As I always say, life usually takes away so much time from art!.. 🤣 However, it's always a choice. Because I'm not drawing 24/7; never did, and perhaps never will - because otherwise I'll never go birding, among other things. And birding is love. Birding makes Frosty happy. I wanna see more nuthatches and northern flickers around me, preferably every day, when possible. Too much to ask? Yes! But life is always about setting priorities straight and meticulously balancing the things you love and want to do. Because something always goes first, and something other goes second (third, fourth, etc.). So that is what I'm trying my best to do here.

But that was only half of the problem. The other half of the problem was about my futile endeavour to relight the creative spark that was seemingly extinguished over the course of the previous 2 weeks - perhaps due to the reasons mentioned above in this post. I'm always very hesitant to take breaks as I work on my projects, because it breaks immersion - and getting back into the mood again might pose a serious challenge. That is exactly how some of my novels/stories failed to see the light of day in the past. Now, since the work on Chapter 5 is nearing to its end - yes, it's almost done!!! - it's just very disappointing to slow down and having to look for the spilt marbles on the floor (however, Lothar, personally, will definitely benefit from at least TRYING to find his own marbles 🤦‍♀️ dear goodness, that man is indomitable). The work still went well, but without excitement I previously had. And I perpetually have serious problems trying to figure out a personal cure for the "lack of spark" issue: not even once in my entire life have I found a resolution that works wonders like a panacea for me in situations like that.

That said, with all of the distractions and not-exactly-creative events with myself in the epicentre, I managed to keep my word and created a Krita forum thread featuring majority of WIP screenshots from Chapter 5, which you can view following that link. Now, my only objective in this regard is to keep updating it 😁 (what I'm kinda failing at recently)

While not being exactly productive with "Time & Again" - that is only up until this week (read ahead) - in the meantime I have reconsidered a couple things that are related to the artistic part of my existence. One of the decisions was to take down the links to my DeviantArt account sometime after this post goes life. The reasoning behind that decision is as simple as an egg: because I don't post anything on DeviantArt anymore. And I keep forgetting to do it anyway. And I keep forgetting simply because it doesn't really matter. In the recent years I perceived DeviantArt to be nothing but a sort of a personal sketch/art dump simply for the sake of gaining more exposure [not really - read an UPD note ahead]. Let's be honest here: DeviantArt is not a good place anymore. It used to be awesome in 2008-2010 or around - for me anyway. But nowadays... Not so much. I don't think I want to delete it yet, for I still want to pop up, perhaps, once or twice a year and dump all the new artworks in there for the future archival purposes - and in case if somebody might be still interested. But for now, I view my DA account as an almost completely dormant collection of trash masterpieces of yore. So I will stop promoting it for the reason of it being obsolete like the morning dew beneath your feet in its current state. (holy effing smokies, that song was very difficult to find to provide a link to! 😱) [UPD 2024/03/12]: my aim with this was originally a bit off - which I realized only now. Aside from it being a random artworks dump, my decision to keep my DeviantArt account alive was precisely for linking back to it: meaning, I was thinking about uploading artworks on there in order to specifically use them in my posts and on the websites. So, yes, it is a relatively dormant collection, but also a convenient stash of art things to utilize elsewhere (thank you, id Software, for teaching me this word! 🤣). I'll see if that really works out in the future tho.

There's also something else that I don't to reveal just yet, and I'll keep it a secret for now 😉 I must try something before I jump to conclusions.

HOWEVER!.. This last week has changed the tides considerably, in my favour. Again, having only a very hypothetical and a rather unclear clue on why that happened - what, I must admit, mesmerizes and puzzles me to a great extent - that long-longed-for spark I thought I had lost along the way somehow magically returned back to me after I spent a few hours (and 2 days in total) of writing an arch-important "Notes & Commentary" section for the reissue of all the previous "Time & Again" chapters that is nigh (here, I teased ya. Now live with it 😎🤣). I really like "Time & Again". Even while it's still incomplete. Even if Lothar is just a stubborn a**. Even if a certain other character has quite funky fetishes. Even if Jeanny is perhaps dealing with her own little pinky demons. I really like "Time & Again", and I really enjoy its style, so revisiting the whole thing for the sake of writing additional materials for it quite possibly worked in a positive way on my spark. I love you, my spark. Let's keep it this way for as long as we can from now on. So now the work goes quite well, and I feel very good about it. There's still something troublesome that needs to be dealt with... but that'd be a painful tale for yet another post.

And, of course, I experimented with some Krita stuff again - for it seems, Chapter 5 really marks a period of great technical discoveries for me.

For example, finally, after all these years 😅🤣, I learnt and made a very good use of the toggle "All Layers" and "Current Layer" settings of Contiguous Selection Tool (that'd be your Magic Wand tool, ya Photoshoppers around - including my past self). That helped me to speed up flood fill of the certain areas. Speaking of flood fill and all, I experimented more with the "smart fill" as well. In the previous post, I was dreaming about an advanced AI algorithm to automatically recognize and colour the characters according to a user-prepared colour pallete. I might be exaggerating a bit, but flood-filling flat colours on every page felt almost stupefying - and, in short, not fun. I've read a little about the potentials to automate the process in Krita and have discovered a few neat tricks that I might use to speed up the process of colouring of the next Chapter. But right now - that's a story for another day in the future. And at last, let's talk about the backgrounds. I find it that the backgrounds that are just, let's say, "placeholders" and don't contain the surroundings of the characters are sometimes challenging. And in Chapter 5, there's gonna be plenty of those - because oh boy do I love long conversations! (strong self-awareness and self-mockery go here) And most of these conversations don't even require detailed environments for the backgrounds! Because people are just friggin' talking! And their surroundings don't matter on those particular panels. I've looked through quite a few graphic novels and comics at the local book store to get extra inspirations - but very often I see that the artists simply fill the panel with a solid colour. Completely flat. I must admit, I'm deeply hesitant to do the same, because I like at least a little texture on storywise-insignificant solid colours. It gives... depth.

So this is what I've been doing so far (and yes, you guessed it now! the picture in the very beginning of this post is very relevant here!):

While the "flat solid colour" on the background just seems... too flat, I decided to utilize a gentle gradient as a base, and then to apply additional brush strokes on a separate layer with special blending mode in order to create the effect of imperfection and ever so slightly visible texture to it. After a few sessions of trial and error, and thinking about how it feels and if it matches the mood of the chapter, I ended up using a couple of watercolour and splatter brushes together, in black, and the layer blending mode that I figured worked best for me was Soft Light (SVG). As illustrated by the following GIF:

And LAST (but as usual: not the least, but I won't cover "the least" in this current post for now, for the post is already a fatso - typical, innit?!), I've learnt how to use Filter Layers for the quick colour correction on the go. And this might be extremely useful in a long run for the future chapters of "Time & Again". I might cover this in one of my next posts.

That should be enough for now. So let's summarize: I most certainly did NOT disappear because "Time & Again" ceased to exist, or because I've been abducted by aliens, or because I got carried away giving belly rubs to pinky demons, or anything alike. I disappeared BECAUSE I was working hard on my story, even though at times it didn't go as smooth as I wanted to 😉.

Well, folks, let's wrap it up for today, and see you next time in another blog post! Take care! You will see Lothar in action again soon enuff! 👋

[onesaltyerik]

HHHHHHRRRRRRGGGGGBJLHGJYGY Update Post

I leave for a couple months and suddenly I'm followed by a ton of (possible?) bots and if you were not bots and got blocked I'm sorry I blocked you, an empty page and suspiciously plain name typically means bot so, I apologise. Anyways, I'm still on break. Long story. (CW discussions of death and poor mental health) I lost two very important figures in my life and my family has been taking the loss very poorly, even though I do not live with my family the stress of the situation mixed with the grief of losing two loved ones in a short time span affected my mental and physical health pretty bad. Doesn't help I live in the southern hemisphere and it's only just become spring here but that just means grey skies and little light throughout the day so the seasonal depression is clinging on like a leech.

Because of this, I am now in the process of quitting school so I can take a LONG overdue mental break. It seems like every year these days, someone close to me ends up dead, and there's hardly any time to recover before it happens again.

And while school did help at first by providing a distraction with learning about subjects I genuinely enjoyed, I'm no longer finding enjoyment in these subjects anymore. I feel like I'm just trying to keep my grades from failing and struggling at that, to the point it's really starting to feel like the only thing that's keeping from quitting is the guilt of leaving a huge part of what used to interest me behind.

So, yeah. I've not had the motivation to do anything creative in a very long time. I'm now in the process of doing all the paperwork to leave my university and it looks like if all goes well my flat and I will be moving to a new place soon ish. I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things and start writing again, I have so many plans but I've never managed to finish them and I'm hoping that even if I take things slowly, I'll be able to work on them more and get back to doing what I love instead of just living until the next paycheck and assessment grade.

TLDR: two deaths in the fam, fam is stressed, I am stressed and depressed, quitting school, moving to a new place, taking a long mental break, trying to get back to doing the things I love (IE writing fics and creating stories of my own)

Yakoke yall. Hope to be back to writing soon. Take care.