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🕊️

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Tedesco so naughty cat 😼

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Don’t mind if I do…

@aspiringstigmatist

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You can.

You are everything.

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"Quid est nomen carminis quod cantas?"

"Regina Saltans. Cantant Abba"

"Ah... That's good. Abba."

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More domestic Lawrenitez

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The Last Temptation of Innocent XIV

a piece i did for im_right(twitter)'s conclave zine

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Based on:

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John's Confession

my submission for a conclave zine

script under cut

1.

I have a confession to make.

2.

You told me once that I was a manager.

but I dared to harbor the ambition of a shepherd.

3.

I even chose a name.

I wanted to be John.

John, for reform, John, for want of a short reign, John in honour of Pope John XXIII, and John in honour of the blessed disciple.

4.

But in managing the last conclave I feel I have played the part of John the baptist, rather than the disciple.

5.

And I feel that in doing so

(Habemus Papam)

I have led your beloved son and my dear friend into this gilded cage like a lamb to slaughter

6.

What an odd thought.

My dear thomas. You are not Pilate, and I am not Jesus.

I know. And yet,

7.

I doubt.

8.

John's Confession

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Ooooh, you know what, our entire cast is basically all church guys, let’s put them to the Les Mis test!

So pick a character, and if they were put in the same position as the Bishop from Les Miserable, how would they react, and what would they do? How would they treat Valjean?

This is not a preexisting thing to examine fictional characters who are church officials, but I was listening to Les Mis, and I thought of this.

[VALJEAN] And now I know how freedom feels The jailer always at your heels It is the law This piece of paper in my hand That makes me cursed throughout the land It is the law Like a cur I walk the street The dirt beneath their feet

[BISHOP] Come in, sir, for you are weary And the night is cold out there Though our lives are very humble What we have, we have to share

There is wine here to revive you There is bread to make you strong There's a bed to rest till morning Rest from pain, and rest from wrong

[VALJEAN] He let me eat my fill, I had the lion's share The silver in my hand cost twice what I had earned In all those nineteen years, that lifetime of despair And yet he trusted me

The old fool trusted me, he'd done his bit of good I played the grateful serf and thanked him like I should And when the house was still, I got up in the night Took the silver, took my flight!

[VALJEAN runs off, but is brought back by two CONSTABLES.]

[CONSTABLE #1] Tell his reverence your story

[CONSTABLE #2] Let us see if he's impressed

[CONSTABLE #1] You were lodging here last night

[CONSTABLE #2] You were the honest Bishop's guest And then out of Christian goodness When he learned about your plight

[CONSTABLE #1] You maintain he made a present of this silver

[BISHOP] That is right But my friend, you left so early Surely something slipped your mind You forgot I gave these also Would you leave the best behind? [BISHOP gives VALJEAN two silver candlesticks.] So, messieurs, you may release him For this man has spoken true I commend you for your duty And God's blessing go with you

[CONSTABLES leave. BISHOP addresses VALJEAN.]

But remember this, my brother See in this some higher plan You must use this precious silver To become an honest man

By the witness of the martyrs By the Passion and the Blood God has raised you out of darkness I have bought your soul for God

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OK but consider…

Monsignor Morales. The secret, true dark horse of the Conclave universe. The only named character in the movie (and the book) who does not appear on screen but who was nevertheless absolutely instrumental in the Conclave becoming the train wreck that it was. One word from him and the whole simony shit show could have been cleared up. And yet he not only decided to remain silent, but actively undermined the LHF in favour of Tremblay's candidacy when Ray started asking questions.

He was the LHF's effing private secretary, too, which is actually a way closer and more confidential position than Prefect of the Papal Household (Janusz). You’re probably thinking Ratzinger/Gänswein and they were obviously extreme, but still. A private secretary will hear and see and know things no one else does.

And yet Morales shows zero loyalty to the LHF but corroborates Tremblay's lies? Are we supposed to believe that Tremblay bribed him, too? Or does his disloyalty to the LHF go much deeper and much further back? The man either has no spine at all or he is completely evil in his own right. I feel he has serious archvillain potential. There’s a story there, I feel, and I want to know what it is.

Discuss. 😁

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We're on a long car ride, so here are mine and @being-lion-hearted 's headcanons on how the Conclave characters would drive a car:

Bellini: The safest, most rule-observant driver you could ask for. Still could recite the 300-page manual for his driver's license he read 40 years ago. Hasn't gotten a single speeding ticket in his life. Never drives, though, because he's terrified of Italian traffic and too anxious to cause an accident. Excellent passenger.

Lawrence: The worst driver you could ask for. Forgets that in Italy, you don't drive on the left side of the road. Panics when he has to cross an intersection. Ran over a tourist once and isn't allowed to drive since. Would need drivers lessons in St. Peter's Square, with Aldo and Ray playing traffic cones.

Tremblay: Takes an uber.

Benítez: Drives like he is still in a war zone. Speed limits are recommendations for him. Will go 100 in a zone 30. Car rides with him are pure insanity and being in his passenger seat will turn you from an atheist to a devout believer in a matter of minutes. Never caused an accident, though, an absolute safe bet to go with if you need to divide GoogleMaps' calculated time by three.

Tedesco: Can't usually drive a car in Venice, when he's out of his city, you better watch out. Doesn't brake for tourists (his bumper sticker also says so). Has a notebook in which he keeps track of the number of accidents he caused (in his opinion, none of them were his fault (they all were)).

O'Malley: Like Aldo, but with confidence, and actually drives. Has snacks, drinks, a blanket and two replacement tires in his trunk.

Sabbadin: Barely sees the road through the cigarette smoke. Got pulled over once because a patrol of Carabinieri thought his car was on fire.

Sister Agnes: Doesn't have a license but somehow is a better driver than almost all of them.

Adeyemi: Lost a bet and has to drive around with a children's seat in the back of his car ever since the Conclave. Solid driver, but always confuses left and right, which can be inconvenient if you need to go anywhere fast. You get to see sides of the city you never saw before, though.

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tbh he'd be the most OP in an rpg setting

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judgment

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the art of falling in love

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Hi guys