#i will sing from that freaking balcony like some disney princess

[loosesodamarble]

38 ❤️ 50

For the valentine asks

38. What’s your OTP?

Kiriyume, InoShizu, and Nozelia.

Okay, aside from my own self-indulgent canonxoc ships, I guess my biggest OTPs are ObaMitsu (Obanai x Mitsuri from KnY) and Kataang (Katara x Aang from A:tLA).

ObaMitsu didn’t get a lot of attention from the main series, but the extra info we’ve seen from the light novels, fanbooks, and fan content have gotten me really attached to this. They love each other despite the misery around them and their flaws. Brooding x cheerful is a wonderful ship dynamic, they’re both amazing fighters, and their love is strong enough to lead them to one another through reincarnation! This ship is just... beautiful.

Kataang was probably the first ship I shipped without being in fandom or knowing what shipping was. I first started watching A:tLA when I was maybe 12 so I understood that childish crush/puppy love that Aang felt for Katara that developed over the seasons. They’re good to each other. Even through the rough times, even if they’re far apart, they have each others’ backs. This ship has stuck with me through the years and will probably continue to do so.

50. What’s your dreamhouse?

Hm, I’ve never thought too much about what kind of home I’d live in exactly. I’ve dreamed of moving to Japan at some point. I would like a house proper, so I guess I won’t be living in the big city.

Oh! Just thought of something I’d want: a balcony! I’ve never had a house with a balcony and the aesthetic of them... I just like it!

A house that can be a warm and cozy home for me and whatever family I have in the future is what I want in the end. I don’t have any concrete details set yet (except that balcony) so that’s all I have to say on that.

.....

I love answering questions, so I’m glad I got to do this!

[whatarubberchicken]

Oh My God, They Were Quarantined

This was meant to be more, but some things happened and well.... Here’s some light-hearted shenanigans.

Warning: Adrinette with DJWifi on the side. There will be adult humor (some innuendos) and brief talk about the quarantine. If you are triggered by either of these things, please do not read.

That being said, hope you enjoy!

Oh My God, They Were Quarantined

Alya picked up the phone on the second ring.

“Hello, this is Al—”

“Alya, help….” Marinette’s pleading tone was music to her ears. Alya chuckled and adjusted the phone so she could continue painting her toenails while talking.

“No can do, M. Six feet away is where I’ll stay,” she sang, enjoying her bestie’s groan of despair. “As mandated by both federal and local guidelines.”

“Alya, please. Let me come stay with you—we can say we have the virus—”

“I am not faking the plague so you can get away from your crush, Marinette,” Alya laughed. “I’m quite enjoying having my boyfriend all to myself while we both ‘work from home,’ if you know what I mean.” She winked at her own reflection in the bedroom mirror and continued painting.

Marinette groaned. “Alya, I didn’t need to hear that….”

“Then you definitely don’t wanna third-wheel over here. I promise you, we’re not quiet.”

“Please tell me you’re using protection.”

“Of course, I’m not stupid,” she said, rolling her eyes and starting on her other foot. “Besides, if I remember correctly, you were the one who insisted you could be roommates with the love of your life—”

“Because I thought our schedules would never let us be here at the same time!”

“—and who has insisted for years that she can be just a friend—”

“Alya, I am begging you!” Marinette pleaded. “I can’t take it anymore! He keeps trying to help me!”

Alya burst out laughing. “That’s what has you freaking out?”

“You don’t understand,” Marinette hissed. “He tried to make me breakfast this morning!”

Alya gave a low whistle. “Nice.” Go, Agreste! Maybe there was hope for him after all.

“No! Not nice. I was in my warm-weather pjs!”

A laugh escaped her. “You can call it a negligee, M. I won’t judge,” Alya said, unable to hide her grin at the thought of Adrien walking into her bestie’s room with a breakfast tray and coming face-to-face with Marinette in nothing but skimpy silk.

Oh Lord. These two were her favorite sitcom.

“Lemme guess, he dropped the tray.”

“More like flung it across the room and ran away screaming that he didn’t see anything!”

Alya facepalmed, shaking in silent laughter. That boy. He had everything going for him: looks, money, charm… but his innocence was gonna make it so Adrien Agreste died a virgin.

“And what did you do?” she couldn’t help asking.

“What do you think?! I hid in my room until he tried to get the vacuum, and then I had to intervene! He broke it last time!”

Alya snorted in laughter. “And you forgot to get dressed first, didn’t you.”

On the other end of the phone, she could hear Marinette groan in despair. “You know me too well.”

Alya said a silent prayer for one Sunshine Prince, who had to witness a vision like Marinette vacuuming up his mess in a negligee. She wondered how he’d survived. If he’d survived.

“How’d loverboy react?” she had to ask.

“He ran into the shower. Said he’d gotten some of it on him.”

Uh huh. Sure, he did. That had probably been the coldest shower in all of Paris.

“Well, at least he didn’t come out in nothing but a towel,” Alya joked, examining her hands and deciding against another coat of nail polish. Her attention sharpened when Marinette made a sound between a squeak and a dying whale. She sat up straight.

“He didn’t!”

“He forgot his clothes!”

Yeah, suuuure he did! Now Alya offered up a prayer for one Sweet Princess. Adrien Agreste in a towel and—no doubt—still blushing at his roommate? “Girl….”

“And he apologized again when he saw me out there and then fled to his bedroom,” Marinette finished, sounding exhausted.

Yup, that sounded pretty much on point for these two oblivious idiots. Two pining, barely-adults in a two-bedroom apartment, both of them seething with sexual tension.

She loved them so much.

“Now, he’s out on the balcony, singing Frozen songs!”

“I’m sorry, what?” The complete 180 from the previous conversation was blowing Alya’s mind.

“Remember how I told you he wants to help me? He read a blog about how plants grow better if you talk to them,” Marinette explained. “In fact, as soon as we were both dressed, he wouldn’t shut up about it. How he’s determined to help around the apartment while we’re both home. So, now he’s out there, singing ‘Let It Grow,’ to my flowers and herbs.”

Alya snickered.

“I swear, M. You’re the only girl I know who wants to marry a legit Disney princess.”

“Will you please help me?” Marinette begged.

“Sure. Here’s what you do,” Alya said, finally putting away her nail polish, “tonight, after he’s gone to bed, I want you to march right up to his bedroom—”

“Alya, no!”

“—bust the door in—”

“ALYA!!”

“—and tell him you want to ride him like a champion racehorse and you’re a jockey with something to prove.”

“I’m hanging up on you,” Marinette grumbled.

“It’s either that or Candyland and Yahtzee all night, M,” Alya sang. Surely, one of them had to make a move soon, right? They couldn’t stay this way forever! They would die! She would die!!

“That’s not a bad idea….”

“WHAT? Oh, come on!” Alya moaned. “At least make it strip-Yahtzee—M?” Alya pulled the phone away from her cheek to pout at it. Marinette had actually hung up on her. And if she knew those two innocents, they really would be playing board games instead of trying to relieve some of the tension that had been brewing between them for years.

Darn it.

“Lahiffe!” she yelled into the living room. “Are you the one who suggested that Sunshine Boy go out into their living room in nothing but a towel?!”

“Yes!” her boyfriend called back. “Did he actually do it? He hasn’t called me back yet.”

“That’s because he’s too busy singing at flowers.”

Nino appeared in the doorway to their bedroom, pouting just as much as Alya was. “He was serious about that? I swear, that kid is such a hopeless romantic.”

“Does he really believe that Mari is gonna suddenly fall for him in the middle of a love song?”

Nino shrugged. “Knowing Mari, you gotta admit there’s a chance, Alya.”

“Ugh!” Alya flopped down on their bed. “It’s the middle of the day and my girl could be busy getting ravished by the love of her life!” She flung a hand to her forehead dramatically and then peeked out one eye. “That was a hint, by the way.”

“Yes, ma-am!”

[starlight-ascension]

Top five Curepuz cards based on pictures alone, not abilities

ok, we all know I’m gonna rave for hours about the dress up collection now. 

5. Honoka’s white chocolate dress. Her hairstyle looks like it took ages, that’s impressive! There’s also the roses- I counted 17 visible ones, and since that didn’t include her other earring or the back of the dress or anything under the overskirt, she has over TWENTY total roses on her dress! To say nothing of the huge ribbon things on her skirt that make her look like Belle, except Belle’s outfit isn’t nearly as fabulous as this. Honoka’s got golden pearls and the top layer of her skirt reminds me of part of the Sophie Era Evergirl Uniform from the Ever Never Handbook. Not to mention the skirt trim and the part over the cream roses, which looks like frosting and chocolate drizzle and manages to make it look good. You can really tell that Nagisa and Honoka’s 5-stars are meant to be dark chocolate and white chocolate. Look at the parallels with their dresses, too: the identical roses and flowers, the golden pearls, the black lace wrap thing, the web-like piece, the light fabric with the X pattern. And don’t forget the backdrop Honoka has. The fountain, the colourful fairy lights, the starry night sky. All those lights remind me of the Aurora Winter Festival that I go to each year. And the fountain is definitely magical in some way. 

4. Hibiki’s piano key dress. Those gloves! The ribbons on her shoes, and the little note clips! The sash with the white edge that looks not quite pearls, not quite ruffles, and with the massive bow at the back with the lace edge and musical note print! An example of how to do prints and patterns right. Same with the hair bows and that skirt, with all the ruffles and lace. Speaking of ruffles, that is one of my favourite sleeve styles out there. And the treble clef earrings, whoa! But the best part is probably the freaking PIANO KEY pattern on her skirt in a dozen shades of pink. What better way to communicate “musical princess”? Don’t forget the background: the rainbow notes in the air, the flowers, the sunny sky and the lake, the CASTLE!! Is she a pop star or a princess? She’s both. She looks like the princess of a magical kingdom, a princess who’s renowned for her singing off the balcony until she wound up putting on shows at royalty events. And what better way to show it off than a dress that combines the best parts of pop star outfits and princess outfits? 

3. Miyuki’s flower fairy dress. There’s just something so magical about seeing a girl sitting in a giant flower, surrounded by butterflies and sunshine. (eat your heart out, Cure Felice.) Miyuki looks just like a fairy even without the flowers and storybook, what with the skirt and off-the-shoulder sleeves all made of dozens of flower petals, the huge butterfly over the little flower-shaped gem on her dress, the matching flower belt and necklace and hair accessories, OH GOD THOSE HAIR ACCESSORIES. Several kinds of flowers, accented with golden ribbons that match the gold pearls in the flowers. Not to mention that she’s LITERALLY GLOWING! Look closely at the 5-star, she’s surrounded by glow! It’s like she took the best parts of Blossom, Felice, and Dream, combined them, and dialed them up so much that those 3 look weak. All hail the queen of the fairies! 

2. Miki’s sea goddess outfit. I can feel the beach air, smell the saltwater, and hear the sound of crashing waves just by looking at her. The way her dress and hair blow in the wind! The lace skirt! The top part that looks like a massive seashell! The golden pearl sleeves and necklace, that pearl belt with the sea star! Don’t forget the back bow that makes her look as if Princess Serenity turned into a siren enchantress. And her HAIR! The pearls, roses, stars, braids, I can’t handle how gorgeous she is, I’d compare her to a mermaid but no mermaid could ever match up. Miki is the goddess of the oceans, the enchantress queen who has arisen from the water for a stroll across the beach. And she’s got me under her spell. 

1. Yukari’s princess attire. LOOK AT HOW BEAUTIFUL SHE IS!!!!! The roses, the pearls, the ruffles and flounces, the flower petals sprinkled on her skirt, the lace! It’s so perfect for her, and it goes amazingly well with Akira’s prince outfit! Not to mention that she’s in an enchanted forest with a palace! This is hands-down the best background for any card in the game. The dozens of glowing floating stars, the white trees that look like they’re made of frosted crystal, the night sky with hundreds of stars, the glowing white palace that looks right out of a Disney princess movie... And, oh yeah, Yukari is also LITERALLY GLOWING. Just like Miyuki, only even more noticeable, she’s surrounded by the heavenly glow of magic. She is the truest legacy princess. I’m just picturing Yukari and Akira in their 5-stars dancing the night away while floating on a trail of glowing stars over the enchanted forest, singing a romantic duet as they get sprinkled with stardust and all the animals of the forest turn to look at the sight. 

Honourable mention goes to: 

-Akane’s 5-star for its rainbow-and-flower backdrop, the fact that it’s basically made of ruffles, and AKANE WITH HER HAIR DOWN AKANE WITH HER HAIR DOWN

-Setsuna’s black-and-red gothic lace dress, where she’s lounging on the fancy chaise among hundreds of red roses, complete with plush carpet and fancy wallpaper. Also, look closely at her shoes- the red bottoms. Setsuna is wearing Louboutins! Holy crap, where did she manage to get the money to afford that? 

-Kurumi’s dress with the roses and the FUR WRAP. The dress is amazing, especially with the mink, but it’s the backdrop that’s the best part. Girl in a princess gown at night standing on a fancy gazebo surrounded by blue roses, string lights, and flower petals! And how the entire town is her backdrop, with the snow on roofs and warm gold glow from inside the houses. It’s just so pretty... 

-Aoi’s concert outfit because it’s just so cool. Seeing any precure in a lot of black and working it is pretty cool, but it’s made even cooler with the gold lame and the stars. But the best part is that layered part at the back that looks like a starry night sky. She is the galaxy! Also, the FISHNETS. THE FREAKING FISHNETS

-Yuri’s 5-star because it inspired a fanfic. Rare is the dress that inspires people to write stories. 

-any dress up collection outfit that includes a tiara. As if these outfits don’t scream “PRINCESS” enough already. 

[twistednuns]

December 2019

Maxim calling out of the blue, inviting me to the Mine concert later that month.

Stumbling upon great inspiration for plant-based buddha bowls.

@shitgothssay memes.

Zotter salted caramel chocolate.

Finding out about the fact that you can just add the letter A to some words to transform them into adjectives. Like aglitter or aglow and aglisten.

Ayurvedic Kapha tea with some black tea, honey and milk. Sonnentor Gute Laune tea. Green tea with toasted coconut.

Isana shower oil. Works wonders for dry skin. Such a smooth and creamy texture. Great for shaving, too.

Winning the pub quiz - again! I played with Maggie, Dennis, Daniel and Steffen (Team name: Three geese in a trenchcoat) and we won 178€. However, the best thing about this was when I finally solved the anagram after thinking about it for 10 minutes. It was Greta Thunberg! Winning is lovely, of course, but solving the anagram is already a personal win for me each time.

Tuesdays. Coming home early, sleeping it off.

Being super rested after a nap, cooking a huge pot of veggie stew and my ratatouille signature recipe, even preparing a batch of butter bean hummus and salad dressing. Listening to folk music, singing along, even dancing at some point. Standing there, peeling the potatos�� Happy moment.

Signature manicure. Always. This time: bluish iridescent lilac with the obligatory black dot.

A personal realisation. I’ve been massively out of touch with myself. I’ve stopped journaling, stopped doing things for myself because they’re beneficial and not because they’re convenient and numb everything. And why is that a good thing? Well, only being at this point and realising what’s wrong with me makes it possible to do something against it. To come up a self-care plan. To make myself feel better.

Semi-deleting Facebook.

Spending time with Manu for the first time in three months. Watching a documentary about black holes and a cheesy Christmas movie. Ordering south Indian food, cuddling up in bed. Sometimes I don’t know why I keep isolation myself. Being around people can be really lovely and soothing if you can be yourself around them. It’s just that I often feel the presence of other living beings drains my energy.

The best massage I ever had. From now on I’ll always request Yaya as my massage therapist. She is SICK. Strong, merciless, forces me into weird poses and makes my back crack.

Also: the chocolate-filled mint hard candy they hand out at the massage studio. I used to hate mint-infused chocolate but somehow I think these are delicious. Perfect after-torture-treat.

Persimmons. Obsessed.

My eye colour in artificial light. A dark moss green with caramel-coloured speckles and a dark rim.

The National playing a 2-hour-long concert and including some of my favourite songs from the High Violet album. Fangirling with Anika.

The smell of cold. You know, that whiff of cool air you get when you’re sniffing a jacket that’s been hanging on the balcony for a few hours to air out.

Learning more about Claire Saffitz from this article - she likes arts and crafts, is a homebody and has degrees in history and literature! She basically enrolled in culinary school because she was bored after graduation. She’s an enigma of a quirky kind. Not brilliant and scattered, but determined and aimless. Not brave and rebellious, but anxious and creative. She hates change yet pursues it, wants order but trades in chaos. She’s loved because she hates stuff; performs well because she can’t perform. And above all, she’s aggressively regular—and something about this makes the crowd go wild.

Fresh laundry smell on my blankets and pillows. And my new gravity blanket. It weighs 11kg which feels crazy heavy when you carry it but the weight evenly distributes over the body when you’re lying down. Apparently the pressure triggers the release of stress hormones. So far I’m sleeping like a baby and I don’t seem to wake up or move much at night.

Stephanie Madewell. I love everything she writes, her blog is such a godsend of beautiful, important, eclectic ideas. One thing I especially like are her imaginary outfits.

Princess Margaret’s limerick contest with President Lyndon B. Johnson in The Crown. Pure comedy. “There was a young lady from Dallas / who used a dynamite stick as a phallus / they found her vagina in North Carolina / and her asshole in Buckingham Palace.”

Little pieces of string in the corners of a duvet cover. It’s the first time I’ve seen those. So practical for big blankets!

Mental health days. I needed this. So much. Mornings in bed, reading for hours. Drinking a whole pot of tea.

Partner yoga. Chanting the closing mantra together.

Making vegan energy balls for my brother. I adapted the recipe and made my own versions so I ended up with a batch of pistachio/cherry and mango/sesame.

Freaking out whenever I see a cute cat. Damn, I really need to spend more time with animals. My highlight: breakfast in bed, watching a video of an adorable cat giving birth. I cried. Yup.

Going swimming for the first time in, man, I don’t even know. Forever. I didn’t swim for a long time, maybe half an hour, but muscle memory kicked in immediately. Water is totally my element. And, as if it had been destiny: I chose the day they cut the hanging plants in the main hall and the guy gave me a variety of five different cuttings to take home!! He made me a very happy girl.

The ink blue sky right after sunset. / The morning after the full moon in Gemini (the moon still bright and huge, visible in the bluish-grey Western sky). / When the sun suddenly comes out after a very dark and gloomy morning.

Buying a new phone. The old one was broken beyond repair. I even got a nice cork protective case. How could I ever live without an uncracked screen? The battery now actually lasts for more than a day. Nice.

Odd bits of knowledge: A galanthophile is an enthusiastic collector and identifier of snowdrop (Galanthus) species and cultivars. (Wikipedia) // Scientists theorize the Universe might have cracks in it: long thin boundaries that formed as space cooled after the Big Bang. 95 billion lightyears long and a few femtometers thin, these wrinkles in space-time would hold enough energy to bend light and destroy entire planets. (PHD comics) // the word to bloviate (German meaning: schwafeln, langatmig vortragen) // In Japan we have three rituals: HANAMI, TSUKIMI, and YUKIMI. HANAMI is watching the flowers. TSUKIMI is watching the moon, YUKIMI is watching the snow. It’s a beautiful tradition when you invite people to watch with you. I remember them all. (Yoko Ono) // In linguistics, prosody is concerned with those elements of speech that are not individual phonetic segments (vowels and consonants) but are properties of syllables and larger units of speech, including linguistic functions such as intonation, tone, stress, and rhythm. Such elements are known as suprasegmentals. Prosody may reflect various features of the speaker or the utterance: the emotional state of the speaker; the form of the utterance (statement, question, or command); the presence of irony or sarcasm; emphasis, contrast, and focus. It may otherwise reflect other elements of language that may not be encoded by grammar or by choice of vocabulary. (Wikipedia) //

I know I mention this a lot but the first olfactory whiff of a freshly cut open passion fruit is one of the best smells I know.

When my breakfast tastes like a candy bar. Which it immediately does whenever I add almond butter and cocoa nibs to porridge.

Yoga at home on a sunny Saturday afternoon. I’m often too lazy to get out my yoga mat but whenever I do afterwards I’m always so glad I practiced. Also: going to yoga class despite being extremely stressed out. It actually helped me silence some of these tormenting thoughts in my head.

Cutting my own hair. It’s kinda ridiculous and layered but I love the new bounce.

Michael Nyman - Musique à grande vitesse x // feels like it makes my pulse quicker, it’s urging and forceful.

My adventures in psychedelia - an article about the therapeutic effect of psychoactive drugs. I’m going to get Michael Pollan’s book about the topic from the library next week. So interesting.

People who are still writing letters.

My pupils. I realised that some of them have become very fine people. Open, compassionate, motivated, interested, bright, polite. Like the students who attended our first school magazine meeting in their spare time - on the last school day before the Christmas holidays - and had all these amazing ideas. Victor, being able to hold a conversation like an adult. Marks cuddling that dog in front of the supermarket. My tenth-graders being really reasonable, managable, easy to talk to.

Liza Weil’s role as Shy Baldwin’s bass player in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. It took me three episodes to recognize her.

A little embroidery set. I love keeping my hands busy when I’m watching movies.

Making vegan walnut lebkuchen and a very good batch of crisp bread in one go.

Roast apples with candied almonds and marzipan for Christmas dinner. Some buckwheat chocolate cookies. Actually helping out my mum in the kitchen.

Sitting at the piano with my brother, singing tunes from our childhood series, Disney songs, pop songs… We both had sore throats afterwards.

Visiting Sash’s parents over Christmas. Her mum cooked a pretty great lunch and we played board games.

Learning how to make a monkey fist knot.

Finding a new spot I like in my apartment. The chair right next to the window at the kitchen table. It’s nice and warm because you can sit beside the heater and while you have breakfast or browse through a cookbook you can see what’s going on outside.

Seeing the incredible gobelins at Kunsthalle / Fäden der Moderne exhibition. I loved the Le Corbusier ones.

Visiting Manu at his parents' place. Playing board games together, his mum feeding me with parsley potatoes and a weird _bird's milk_ dessert. Lying on the sofa, watching old movies. It's weirdly nice to be part of a normal family dynamic once in a while.

Andre saving my New Year’s Eve at the very last minute. Out of the blue he suggested a trip to Czech Republic right after midnight the day before. I was like… okay, let’s do this! So I met up with him and three people I had never met before in Regensburg and we drove to Český Krumlov, checked into our fancy hotel and walked down to the city centre. Czech food for dinner, a band playing at the city square. We climbed up to the castle for the turn of the year. This must have been the first year that started out with a proper New Year’s kiss. Afterwards we went to a weird music bar and - apparently - one of the best clubs in the country. I had a lot of fun. Even though getting Andre home was quite a challenge.

[marvelousmerriment]

I just really wanna rant about Aladdin 2019:

(( this is incredibly long with not well thought out sentences because I genuinely just want to rant. Also Grammarly came for my neck and I don’t feel like going through and fixing typos because I’ll rewrite the whole thing))

So for starters, I had really low expectations. I was not excited and have been extremely skeptical since day 1. But I’m not going not see this dumb stuff because I can’t resist being a mindless consumer and I want to have a real opinion.

Arabian Nights opened with such a strong premise, but the sudden cut to introduce the sultan, jasmine, aladdin, and then Jafar at the cave of wonders was SO weirD? Like music video weird? You don’t need to show flashes of the characters to the audience??? We already know what movie we’re watching?

One Jump continues in the realm of twisting the original and flowing out of order? It was a great introduction to Aladdin’s theif ways but the choppy camera work just threw me out of the song. There was a moment where Aladdin and Jasmine are walking hand in hand down an alley and the footage literally FAST FORWARDS to get them on the caravan??? It was just not great. ALSO the freaking “I’d blame parents” scene with the Harem suddenly being a group of girls in school made me laugh!! The whole song was just kind of missing that vibrant feeling of the original and it sacrificed entertainment for realism.

I enjoyed Aladdin & Jasmine getting to know each other and her little white lie. And his sneaking into the castle was cute and felt a little more authentic to the story (vs Jafar lying that he got killed?) but Aladdin saying “Meet me tomorrow night” or whatever and her following up with that just didn’t make any sense??? If Ali/Aladdin wants to keep up the rouse that he was pretending to be a commoner later in the film why would he arrange a second date with this girl. ON TOP OF THAT why would she trust him so much later on if nothing in his stories adds up? So that entire concept just got lost to me.

As expected, introducing the Genie really picks up the film and I enjoyed it a lot. Will Smith was AMAZING and I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed his performance. Friend Like Me was well done and their chemistry was immediately a light at the end of this tunnel. I was smiling and laughing all the way up to the Prince Ali sequence.

Now. Prince Ali. Fabulous He. This song was a mess mess. Aladdin’s immediate discomfort even though he knew nobody would recognize him stole that moment where he could’ve been more excited to be there. The singing was rough, the VERY small ensemble was hilarious....it just kind of sucked. I enjoyed the *finale* of the song and Genie’s change of “heard your princess was a sight lovely to see” - it just fit his characterization and I laughed.

Ali’s introduction highlighted how awkward and unprepared Aladdin was and I liked that. Although Jasmine’s “not a prize to be won” line is so iconic I’m surprised it wasn’t....there? The party was nice - Smith once again stealing the entire show by doing the bare minimum tbh.

Whole New World was exactly what we expected and I was practically indifferent. The lead up with Dahlia/Genie was CUTE. But Jasmine’s interrogation of where his kingdom was didn’t really....make sense if hours later she realizes him and Aladdin are the same? That’s where the writing just started to fall apart for me. Is Jasmine this smart or not? Is she naive or not? Make up your mind and don’t pad your script with these randomly unnecessary “little white lie turned big” challenges.

Following this....the plot started to turn to sand for me. So they skip to the following day to have 1. aladdin‘s near-death second wish 2. Jafar being revealed as evil and being locked up even though he was going to escape? 3. Aladdin reveals to genie he was going to save his last wish (which was the only scene I felt like Mena was acting to a greenscreen???) 4. Aladdin randomly go into the city where he encounters a thief Jafar who has already escaped his obviously unnecessary prison....like what was the point of that padding if it was just going to end in Jafar getting the lamp? That could’ve all stayed in the castle without the dramatics. NIGHT arrives in all this - but then it’s the next day and Jafar has time to rearrange himself dramatically on the throne room steps and a weirdly rehearsed entourage comes in??? Did Aladdin stay at his old home the entire night and not realize he didn’t have the lamp in that entire time? Did it take him a whole evening to get back to the palace? Where was aladdin in all this???

*sigh* Jafar is such a fantastic Disney villain and to see him reduced to this was really rough for me. He gets his sultan-ness, and there’s this padded INCREDIBLY forced scene that leads into Speechless. And then he becomes a sorcerer because why? The guards don’t listen to him anymore? One of the best parts of the original movie is that Jafar is so power hungry he is BOOM wish BOOM wish and then sits on his third. That’s what the Genie meant when he describes “that guy” and the bad things “that guy” does. Making Jafar’s ambitions out to be “I’ll show you guys who’s boss” instead of his original nature was just so boring. The torture of the characters was stupid. The sudden “THEN MARRY ME PRINCESS” came out of nowhere because he showed no signs of being attracted to Jasmine before or thinking himself suitable for her hand. The original highlights how creepy it is that Jafar wants Jasmine to marry him - and that isn’t touched on?? in this version??? You make Jafar younger and arguable more handsome than his source material and you leave out the part where he wants the princess? Okay I guess.

WHICH LEADS ME TO MY NEXT GRIPE: The axe of the slave jasmine scene? Now, we all know that scene isn’t perfect but the message behind it is showing how calculating Jasmine is and how easily tricked Jafar was! If they are making us sit through another time jump where Jafar plans a quick wedding - and Aladdin’s in the artic - you’re telling me that he wouldn’t attempt the “make someone fall in love with you” moment? The entire concept of that original scene is a distraction. Aladdin is coming back and Jasmine is distracting Jafar. The entire concept of Speechless (reprise 2) being imaginary also steals a lot of signifigance from her message. It was just so unecessary. ((I’m also noteably not a fan of Pasek and Paul so I wasn’t expecting much from that song or it’s context))

So they axe that completely, Jasmine just gets to stand there and cry, and then jump off the balcony for a COMPLETELY. USELESS??? LAMP CHASE??? with the SCARIEST CGI MONSTER BIRD EVER?!?! - a whole choppy mess! All this extra expensive CGI carpet chase material that ends in Aladdin/Jasmine crashing, Carpet fucking DYING???, and Jafar with the lamp again. Why???

Following that dumpster fire, I did cry during the genie’s freedom scene because it was very very well done. Will Smith solidified himself as his own version of the genie and I adored that. My only wish is that Jasmine/her dad/Dahlia had been paying attention? It was kind of off that they weren’t. Genie confessing to Dahlia was cute but rushed, followed but the rushed reveal that she was the mother of the children in the beginning and that that was human him. It just felt like “oh god we gotta hurry and finish this because we spent an extra 40 minutes PADDING THIS MOVIE”

Aladdin sneaking away was cute, but waht we didn’t need was someone saying “is that the princess?!” following the ‘nobody’s seen her in years’ plot hole. She was present at the Prince Ali parade where Genie made a direct connection with the Sultan.....anyone could look up and assumet the girl in the NICE DRESS was her? Idk. That’s just me being picky.

The kiss transition was pretty. The final dance scene was very cute and I’d kill to see some fun B roll of that filming because it looked like a lot of fun. It was a sweet ending to a sour film.

I’m critical as hell of these remakes because I don’t see a lot of excuses to straying from basic elements of the source material. This movie is advertised like a remake....so act like it? Padding on padding for extra storylining and moderinizing the classics doesn’t make the film better. You’re delivering a fresh take to THE SAME AUDIENCE + their children. So I just don’t understand the obsession (also shown with BatB) with modernizing every single aspect of the princesses’ story. Belle & Jasmine are already some of the best princess role models predating Tiana. Princesses are special in their own way. A modern woman can relate to Mulan just as much as she relates to Snow White. Creating this “fresh” storyines to appease the ignorant modern audience is just so...boring.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. I’m gonna go watch the original now.

[seasannaisling]

Rewatching Disney Animations (1)

okay so i'm watching Snow White and i already have SO many problems with this. if you're interested everything will be below the image & i will also be tagging this as /spoilers.

so starting off we have the book part—there's no narrator to read what's on the screen. the text on screen is in a ridiculous font that i can barely read. they definitely could have used a narrator.

next we move onto the opening scene. the water doesn't look like water and it made me kinda queasy. though that's just me nitpicking. the camera fades into the castle where we meet the "Evil Queen".

EQ is standing in front of her mirror and summons the soul that is, in fact, canonically imprisoned within it. she asks the usual "Who is the fairest of them all" drama, and is shocked when the mirror says, "Snow White."

instead of giving us time to digest this with EQ, we IMMEDIATELY cut to Snow White, who is dressed in rags and cleaning the steps with birds around her. it's very apparent that this girl can't be much more than 12 or 13 years of age.

her voice (which i personally find fairly grating) is quite high and we are taken into the first song of the movie. she's singing to birds. Snow is minding her own business when the movie's Prince shows up and sneaks up on her.

the prince (who from this point onward will be PC, for Prince Creep) starts to sing along and we immediately are hit by his very adult voice. he is AT LEAST 20, probably more.

Snow (understandably) runs away from PC, who calls after and tries to follow her. he begins singing again, as if that will coax her out. this is a classic case of an older man enticing a young girl with things such as sweets.

it works. Snow comes out to watch him from the balcony, and PC approaches on the stairs. we see EQ again, and she is furious.

EQ orders the Huntsman to kill Snow, stating to bring back her heart. this is a grown woman ordering the death of a little girl. he almost does it, but can't.

he warns Snow and tells her to run. she does so,getting attacked by trees. she is scared out of her mind. this is a LITTLE GIRL. alone in a forest, terrified because her guardian ordered her death.

Snow collapses and sobs, because everything is far too much. the animals attempt to comfort her. the birds convince her to sing because, when things go wrong! you should sing, right??

this poor little girl has only the animals as her friends. oh, and she pets bambi! that's nice. they then take her to the Dwarves' cottage, because they like her. little girls and animals, huh?

"oh, it's adorable! just like a doll's house!"

she is barely twice the height of a baby deer. what the heck.

oh, look, now she's breaking and entering. Snow, kiddo, that's illegal. she assumes that seven children live there. she gasps at the mess and cleans it up. yet another song. this is at least the 3rd song.

whistle while you work! the animals do basically everything while she sings. squirrels are apparently extra good at removing cobwebs.

the poor deer becomes a clothing hanger. the turtle is a washboard. fade to black and, oh my! we're meeting the dwarves who immediately go into another song.

poor dopey has already been smacked. he's doing his best please let him be. aaand they're going home. this isn't going to end well.

snow and her gaggle of animal pals are still snooping around the cottage. this turtle and chipmunk are the best duo though.

all the animals and snow fall asleep until they hear the dwarves. the animals run to hide. the dwarves are upset to see someone broke in.

doc has a speech impedement, which is very interesting. especially for such an early disney film. though it's meant to be a joke.

the birds are playing a prank now. cruel. this is the dwarves' HOME, ya nasties.

wow, so cruel to dopey.

poor dwarf can't even speak.

dopey enters the bedroom where Snow is sleeping soundly, only to be terrified. they decide to kill it while it's asleep, unaware that "it" is a little girl.

they're about to strike when they realize it's a GIRL. grumpy wakes her up. she proceeds to guess who everyone is and then introduces herself.

grumpy tries warning everyone. they all decide that Snow can stay because she can cook. they all freak out over the soup.

Snow acts like a strict mother. yikies. still adore Dopey and Grumpy though. "hEh. WoMeN." they all are in love with Snow.

well they're bathing now. oh no they're scheming. here goes. pretty sure this is assault. and the soap went down dopey's throat.

sUpPeR!!

oh no, here we are with the queen again. mirror is a bitch. now EQ knows and she's SCHEMIN'. gotta say this is one of the coolest scenes in the movie. the magic and transformation is wildly impressive.

THE POISON APPLE! honestly such an iconic movie staple.

the dwarves are singing for Snow, now. holy crap dopey is in an incredible drummer. Snow kicked the cymbal, wholesome. she's like their daughter now.

oh hey, the animals are watching. this is a nice, cute scene. everyone can dance and play an instrument. this is actually really nice!

aaand sneezy launched dopey onto the ceiling.

SNOW STOP THAT YOU MET HIM ONCE, AND HE'S AT LEAST 8 YEARS OLDER THAN YOU. PLEASE QUIT THIS. fuck, i'm with Grumpy.

she's gonna sing em to sleep. holy shit. i mean me too. dopey is a cutie— oh my god, she's praying. well that's not alienating at all.

OH NO DOPEY HAS NIGHT TERRORS HOW HAVE I NEVER NOTICED THAT BEFORE??

fade to black and and we're back with EQ. all this to be the prettiest. oh man. just her shrieking "BURIED ALIVE" will be engrained in my brain for eternity.

APPLE DELIVERY!! apples for Snow White!! Princess Snow?? i got you some APPLES!! want some APPLES?? promise they're not POISON or anything.

mAkIn pIeS??!

animals out here bein scared. oh hey they're attacking EQ. aaand Snow stopped them. Snow they were TRYING TO PROTECT YOU.

man EQ really wants to kill this 12 year old girl. and the animals are trying to warn the dwarves. they aren't listening. oh hey Grumpy to the rescue. ho boy

the switches between creepy quiet and intense music is giving me whiplash.

Snow is officially dead. EQ is fleeing. the dwarves are about to become murderers, holy shit. EQ just fell to her death. holy shit.

FUNERAL TIME! the dwarves are in mourning. so are the animals. everyone is sad. it's raining.

oh good, more words on the screen with no narration—and here comes PC! guess consent isn't a thing here, i guess. not that Snow is even past the age of consent. plus PC is an adult and she's a kid— ah, jeez, she's awake.

everyone is having a grand old time— WAIT WHAT? YOU'RE LEAVING WITH THE PRINCE YOU'VE ONLY MET TWICE? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING—

oh, great. a golden castle. and it's over. wonderful.

well i can safely say that that was not as bad as i expected. there's a lot of problems but it's still enjoyable. but i'd stick with some of the other movies. all i got was "Run away from your problems" and "Don't eat fruit from random strangers."

if any of you feel like watching it and giving your opinion of the movie, you can watch it here. this was long, hah.