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h3llostrang3r · 6 years ago

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A Lifetime to Remember

Perfect Match

Pairing: Dames x Mc Summary: One-Shot.Melina Park is searching for Dames. Word Count: 3,800 Warnings: Language,Sexual content implied(I don’t think it’s anything more explicit than what you would find in a Choices 30 diamond scene.) Notes: I miss Dames. I still haven’t forgiven PB. I give them all my monies and they couldn’t give me Dames during the finale.

Do you ever have the feeling that someone is watching you? You know, when you get those urges to look over your shoulder even though no one has called out your name. Did you really see something out of the corner of your eye or was your mind playing tricks? Or when you suddenly look up from whatever you were concentrating on because you could just feel a pair of eyes locked on to you. Like you can just feel the heat from their body and it sends a thrilling chill right through you? I have been feeling this more and more every day for the past few months.

Maybe I’m paranoid. Maybe it’s wishful thinking. But it feels so incredibly real to me.

I’ve spent countless hours online searching for him…

Keegan hasn’t spoken to me since we took down Rowan and Cecile. She won’t give me any information on what happened to him. I’ve reached out to her and those I’ve found connected to her, but nothing. I don’t know why she’s ignoring me, I proved myself to her before - that I’m on her and all the matches side.

No signs of him and no body found. What the hell is that supposed to mean? I can’t think the worst. I refuse. I know he’s stronger than that. I need to know if Keegan or someone was able to fix his programing, he could have lost so much of what he had by now. He has to be out there somewhere …

That’s why I have spent so much of my down time online. Throwing myself out there. My online alias spreading like wildfire, ThePurpleHairPark. I’m in chat rooms, forums, social media outlets - there’s always someone watching,reading,lurking from behind their screen. The world knows about the matches and there are so many out there helping them. So there has to be someone that has seen him. All I need is one person to point me in the right direction. Or he can come find me. I know he knows how to. Or at least his past memories would.

Can anyone help me? Actually help me? The conspiracies, the theories, they’re insightful, but I need something more.

Where are you, Dames?

Please. I need you …

Melina sits back in her chair staring at the screen. She sighs heavily before she deletes the plead and publishes her newest post to her open forum. Her purple hair slightly covers her face as she hangs her head low. Some strand clinging to her cheeks as tears start to roll down her face. After a deep breath she wipes the tears and gets up to refill on her iced tea.

Melina was at the coffee shop close by to her apartment almost every day. Always getting looks from the customers coming in and out of the shop. She was never quite sure what they thought of her and her laptop sitting in her favorite spot by the window. She didn’t really care, she just wanted to make sure that she could be seen. Her goal was to be seen by him, by Dames.

As Melina stood in line, she checked her phone. No missed calls or texts from Damien. He had been so busy with work since they saved the President, she was thrilled that Damien’s business was booming, but it made it harder for them to make time for each other. They didn’t mind their low-key nights in just them, some takeout (Melina’s cooking still not improving, whoops) and a movie while snuggling on the couch. Yet, with Damien’s ever growing case files he would often come home, grab a snack and head straight to bed. Damien was still supportive of Melina spending time with Hayden, but even she seemed to be too busy for Melina lately.

Melina orders her iced tea - which is on the house, her friend Lily is now working at the register. Lily gives her a wink and flashes her a smile as she shoos Melina along. Melina mouths a, “thank you” as goes to wait for her drink.

Melina never minded being alone and single. There was always something to do, always a way to entertain herself or keep busy until she heard from one of her friends. So why was it now, when she had two loves in her life she felt most lonely? Even Nadia found time to be with Steve and his… abs. Luckily, her cousin would always make time for her at least once a week. But ever since they came out from hiding from Eros’ radar , life never went back to being carefree for Melina.

Her heart had been so full from being loved without judgement from two amazing people in her life, but now that love - where did it go? Had she expected too much? Was it unreasonable of her to want to see them more than 2 or 3 times a week? Melina’s mind often drifted to Dames when she was alone. There was still that spot in her heart reserved just for him. Which often ached at the thought of him, not knowing where he was or if he was even okay.

She had to find him. She needed the answer. Even if he didn’t want to see her again or even want to be with her, she just wanted him to be okay.

Her name is called and she grabs her rather large drink and heads back to her spot. She stares at her computer a few moments - and there. That feeling. Her face grows warm, her heart begins to beat a little faster, the hairs on the back of her neck stand at attention. Her eyes look up from under her long eyelashes - slowly scanning the faces in front of her, nothing. She slowly turns her head to the left, no one looking at her. Her back is against a wall so it definitely was not coming from behind. Melina bites her lip as she returns her gaze back to her computer. No, no, that feeling is still there.

She froze - too scared to turn her head again. Move your damn head, Melina. Do it. She ordered herself internally. Did her body know something her mind didn’t? She blinked and a tear began to fall. Exhale, Melina - slowly she let out the breath she was holding. Her body relaxed and she allowed herself to look to her right, out the window she always had to sit by.

There he was across the street, just staring at her with his hands in his pockets and a sad look on his face. That creep, that handsome fucking creep.

“Dames…” she breathlessly says out loud. Her eyes grow wide, she has to hurry or she’ll miss him. RUN she screams in her head, RUN MELINA. She scrambles out of her seat, almost knocking her laptop off the table, but she doesn’t care. Her feet threaten to trip over each other, but she corrects herself. She pushes the coffee shop door open hard and fast, if there was someone about to get hit there was no way she was going to notice. She looks across the street again, he’s not there.

No. Fuck this noise. He’s not getting away without saying a word to me.

Melina’s feet take her to the busy New York street. Her first few steps are in the clear. “Dames” she cries out with every ounce of her heart and soul. “Dames, please.” Her next few steps just miss a car passing by. Her head is spinning, the cars honking in the background seem so far away. The yelling from the other pedestrians not even registering. Her feet stay planted in the street as she frantically looks as to which direction he could have gone.

The honking becomes louder and louder, her ears now pounding. That’s when she looks to her right and coming straight for her is a yellow taxi. Time starts to slow, her breath catches - she can’t move, she wants to scream. Then the feeling, when you can feel the heat of their body against yours. Except this time - it’s real. Her focus goes to him, but is blurred in a flash.

Dames grabs her at incredible speed and throws them both safely to the sidewalk. He envelopes her in his strong arms and shields her from the fall on to the hard concrete. Her legs sting, but that pain is far away from her mind. He holds her for a long time, her face nuzzled in his chest. Her arms tucked between their bodies, her hands gripping for dear life onto his jacket. She inhales his scent, that mix of cologne and rum that reminds her of that blissful night in Paris. In his arms felt so right, she could melt into his touch and not move for hours - but she could live without the dirty sidewalk.

“Dames…” She manages to whisper, “I thought I lost you.” Her body trembles in his arms as the reality hits her. He is here, he is real, he is alive. She lifts her head from it’s safe space. Oh what she would give to kiss along that jaw and to his mouth. To sink into his lips and wrap her arms around him and never let go.

“Melina what the hell were you thinking?” His face so close to hers, his eyes filled with concern. He brings his hand up to her face to brush back her hair and it lingers as he cups her jaw. Did he dare move his face any closer? Threatening to crash his lips against hers and tangle his hands in her hair, bringing her closer to him and never leave her again.

Before she can answer they are being helped up by onlookers. Her gaze doesn’t move from him, she’s not losing him again. She thanks them and brushes them off as she moves closer to him - if he tries to run she thinks she can be quick enough to grab him by the jacket.

“Please, Dames. Just come to my apartment. Y-you don’t have to s-stay. I …” She drops her head for a moment as she lets out a deep sigh. Looking into his eyes - God, is this real? Is he really in front of me? She says, “I just want to know you’re okay. Our last talk to each other, that wasn’t fair - it wasn’t right. That’s not how things were suppo-”

“Melina…” The way he said her name made her heart skip a beat. “I’ll come with you. We can talk, I promise.” She nodded her head, still in disbelief. Instinctively, her hand intertwined with his. “Do you want to grab your laptop?” He asked as he motioned to the coffee shop.

“I’m not crossing that street again, today. I’ll text Lily to hang on to it for me.”

The walk back to Melina’s apartment was silent, apart from the noise from the city, but it didn’t phase either of them. Absentmindedly their thumbs would graze one anothers - fingers still laced together. When they reached her apartment Melina led the way, giving her hips an extra sway for him as they climbed the stairs. She wanted him to watch, and she knew he would. It took her a moment to fetch her keys from her crossbody purse and unlock her door, the adrenaline was kicking in again. This is a part of her life Dames hasn’t experienced first hand. This moment would be intimate one for both of them.

They made their way inside, Dames moved towards her living room, taking it all in. With her eyes closed, Melina slowly closed the door imagining Dames moving closer to her. His hands on either side of the door frame, closing in on her. His chest pressed against her back, his pelvis against her backside, and his lips hovering so close to her ear. She would turn around to face him and that’s when he would press her hard against the door, his lips kissing hers and his hands gripping her hips as hers would tug on his collar.

“This is a really nice place, Melina.” Dames says, snapping Melina out of her thoughts.

“Ya, thanks. Over here is the kitchen… Where I keep the rum. I need a shot, do you want a shot?” Her heart is beating so fast, her hands begin to shake. She makes her way to the cupboards and pulls out two shot glasses and his favorite rum. He sits on a barstool on the other side of her counter, one elbow propped up.

“Melina, are you alright?” His voice is filled with concern as he watches her move quickly.

“Mmhmm. I just, need to calm my nerves. It’s been so long and it’s all happening so fast.” She pours the shots and slides one over to him. He takes his and stares at it for a moment before he returns his attention to her. She raises her glass to him before throwing back the shot. He quietly lets out a sigh, then follows suit. She’s already pouring herself another round and is quick to refill his. The second shot burns her throat, but seems to do its job as it settles her down. She looks into his eyes and she can see the pain in his eyes. The pain he’s been feeling since Paris, since they left him behind in Tokyo to fight Cecile and all those matches. Her breath hitches when he takes her hand into his.

“C’mon, let’s go sit down. Okay?” He says as he leads her from the kitchen to the couch in her living room.

They settle onto the couch, space between them, but their knees slightly brush against the other as they face each other. Her arms are crossed against her body, gently tucked beneath her heaving chest. His hands are placed on his thighs, rubbing back and forth - not sure how he should proceed.

“Dames, where the hell have you been?” Melina breaks the silence, he can hear the hurt in her voice. “I have been endlessly searching for you, hoping and praying that you were alive and until today I’ve had no fucking luck.” The tears start to form in her eyes and her voices begins to shake. “Why now? I know you’ve been in contact with Keegan. Why have you been avoiding me when you know how to get a hold of me? Why? Why?” The tears fall and her cheeks are wet, she can’t wipe them away fast enough. They just won’t stop.

He hates to see her like this, it hurts him to see her cry. He wants to just wrap her in his arms again and bury his face into her hair. He wants to make her pain end, but he’s the one who did this to her - it’s his fault. It’s all his fucking fault. Fuck it, he thinks as he reaches for her and wraps her into a hug. He gently rocks her and she cries even harder. He whispers “I’m sorry” over and over into her ear. It’s not enough, she deserves more than just his words, even if he means it with every ounce of his fabricated heart and soul. “I’m so fucking sorry, Melina.” He says before she pulls back.

She wants him to look her in the eyes when he tells her why. Why he hid from her all this time without one single word, even if those words were “fuck off”, but he didn’t even give her that.

“Melina, I’m so sorry. I was a coward. I was scared to come back to you when I knew my time was coming end. Knowing I only had months to retain all my past memories and feelings. I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t bring myself to be near you and lose you all over again.” Melina couldn’t believe what ehe was hearing. He didn’t even attempt to let them try -

“I eventually came into contact with Kaahn. I didn’t know if he could help me, but I couldn’t let Cecile and Rowan win. I couldn’t go down without some sort of fighting chance.” He sighed as he took Melina’s hands into his. They were so much smaller, and they were so soft. He loved how such a simple touch from her brought such warmth to him.

Her eyes grew wide, fucking Kaahn talked to Dames and he didn’t say a word?When Dames took her hands and it relaxed her for a moment, but she was still in shock. Who the hell did Kaahn think he was? “He attempted to fix my programming. Today is the last day before the original’s program was set to erase everything. Unfortunately, Kaahn doesn’t know if his override will work. I’m scheduled to… ‘reset’ if you will, at midnight. It won’t be until I wake up will I know if it worked. ”

Her world was flipping upside down. Her head was spinning, her heart was breaking, what was she supposed to do with this information? She finally had Dames back, but tonight he could be gone all over again. This wasn’t fair , Dames didn’t deserve any of this. He brushed her hair from her face, he wanted to comfort her as best as he could. He had already accepted what might happen to him, but this was all so much for Melina. He didn’t want her to have to endure all this. This wasn’t something she needed to worry about, she didn’t need to fuss over him.

“Stay with me.” Her eyes pleaded, her lips slightly parted in anticipation of his answer. “I know you wanted me to see you today. I know you weren’t expecting me to run like a mad woman into traffic, but …” she licked her lips and Dames let out a soft groan at the sight. “Please, stay. You’re finally here and I don’t think I can let you go.”

“What about Damien?” He questioned, his feelings for Melina meant the world to him, but he could never come between her and the person who he had to thank and curse for all these wonderful feelings.

She shook her head and said, “He’s surprisingly very open to me having intimate feelings for others. I don’t think you would be an exception. And it’s not about Damien right now. It’s about me and you right now, and right now I want to spend what could be last moments in your arms… if you want that too.”

That was all he needed to hear. He slowly closed the space between them, Melina’s sweet scent filling his senses, making his head swim. His lips found hers, they tasted like rum with a hint of peach from her iced tea that she had been drinking earlier. Her moan sent a tingle through his body. He needed more of her, but he was worried of what would come in the morning. Dames broke away from the kiss and asked, “Melina, are you okay with keeping it light? I want to be with you so badly, but it’s not fair to you if I won’t have any memories in the morning. I …” Dames hung his head low, scared to meet his gaze with hers. Her warm hands cupped his face and she lifted his chin until he finally looked her in the eyes.

“I am perfectly fine with being held in your arms all night long, but don’t stop kissing me.” Dames stood up and brought Melina to her feet and embraced her in a hug. He lifted her up and she hooked her legs around his waist holding on to him like she would never let go, burying her face in his neck. He led them to the bedroom where they laid in bed all night intertwined. Both Melina and Dames fighting the urge to fall asleep. Their eyelids heavy, but their lips still finding each other. Both whispering each others names on their skin, and their lips. They both succumbed to sleep, the mental exhaustion too much for them to bear any longer.

When Melina wakes up she’s not sure what time it is. She can feel the warmth of the sun peeking through her curtains. Her face is still buried in Dames chest, her new favorite place to rest her head. She’s afraid to move, not knowing what will happen if she wakes him up. Will it be him? Will he remember her and the enchanting night they just had. Just him and her wrapped in each other, never letting go. She wants to cry, the anticipation driving her mad, she didn’t want this to end. She didn’t want to lose Dames again.

Moments passed and finally, he began to stir. She held her breath, this was it, the moment of truth. What would she even say if he didn’t recognize her - she guessed she could call Kaahn or Keegan and they would know what to do. Fuck. Why did it have to be this way? Why did this even have to be a thought?

She felt pressure on the top of her head. Was that? Was that a kiss? Another, and another on her temple. She couldn’t move, does he remember?

“Melina.” He whispers in her vibrant purple locks. She looks up, and he’s smiling the brightest smile she’s ever seen. He’s beautiful, he’s perfect, he’s ….

“I remember. Everything.” He can’t stop smiling, his head clear of the fog that was his limited programing. Lifetime upon lifetime worth of memory just waiting to be stored. Kaahn did it.

“Stay with me.” Her voice gentle, she didn’t ask, she wanted him to know she wanted him.

“As long as you want me, I will always be here for you, Melina.” His lips found hers over and over again. They trailed along her jaw and down her neck. She moaned his name and begged for more. Piece by piece their clothes made their way to her bedroom floor. His groans grew louder the lower his kisses wandered. Her skin was soft, she was so beautiful and her taste was like ecstasy on his tongue. Melina’s moans drove him to please her harder and harder until she was trembling against his mouth.

“I want all of you, Dames. Please. I need you..” She begged between her panting breaths.

Dames kissed Melina ever so gently as he made his way between her legs. Their moans mingling as they moved against one another. Melina savored the pressure of Dames’ muscular body on top of her’s. She held him close, not wanting to let go. He was finally back in her life and to stay this time.

Dames is here, he is real, Dames is alive.

#perfect match #dames x mc #playchoices #30 diamond scene #long post #h3llostrang3r writes

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penguinsnoot · 6 years ago

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Self-Care Tips from Someone Who Sucks at Self-Care (Part 1)

Part 2

I’m lazy, anxious, forgetful, and generally unmotivated. Basically, I’m the worst person to be making a post on self-care, because I can barely take care of myself. However, I have made it my 2019 goal to start taking better care of myself, even if it’s just relaxing a bit on days when school is bogging me down or following a semi-regular skincare routine. Another goal, which I technically didn’t make until a few days ago, is to journal every other day. My journal tonight happens to be a list of self-care/relaxation ideas, and I thought, “Hey, I know I’m not the only one who struggles with this whole ‘taking care of myself like a proper damn adult’ thing, so why not post a ‘suggestion guide’ of sorts for other clueless individuals?” So, here you go!

Skincare Routine | Keeping a regular skincare routine is the most important step in clearing acne. Of course, there are other issues outside of acne, and keeping a routine will most likely help with those problems as well, but it’s up to you to figure out what your skin needs and how you should approach caring for it. A skincare routine can be simple or complex, and if you ever feel like you need aid in figuring out what you should do, seeing a dermatologist could prove to be very helpful. My personal skincare routine is somewhat lengthy, since I follow the Korean Skincare Routine (Oil cleanser, Water/Foam cleanser, Exfoliate, Toner, Essence, Serum, Face Mask, Eye Cream, Moisturizer) [full routine varies on day and skin needs], but has proven to be effective in my journey toward somewhat balanced and acne-free skin. I have come to accept that my skin will never be perfect, and that’s okay, because everyone has some kind of skin “problem” that may never permanently go away.

Moisturize | Not only should you moisturize your face, but you should also moisturize your body, especially in the winter to battle dry and/or irritated skin. If you have sensitive skin, it would be best to avoid a lotion with added fragrance, but if you are someone who can use all the fancy smelly lotions, get something with one of your favorite scents so that whenever you get a whiff of your skin, you can go, “Mm, delicious flesh smell!” Seriously though, moisturizing your body, whether you shave or not, is good for your skin and you should probably do it. Once you get in the habit of doing it, it doesn’t take long at all.

Brush and Floss Teeth | This one should be obvious, but you’d be surprised at just how many people don’t floss along with their brushing. As someone who totally flosses every single day, I can say that it really is good for your teeth. Flossing helps prevent tartar and plaque buildup, gum disease, and bad breath. It’s a given that we should brush our teeth at least twice a day (I hope that’s a given. . .), but far too many of us shirk over our flossing duties. It can be a pain, but it truly is an important step in oral care, so just do it!

Exercise Regularly | Ugh, physical activity. The bane of every non-health related blog owner’s existence. Yes, exercise can be a pain, especially if you are someone who is unmotivated, lazy, deals with depression, etc., but exercise helps lower your risk for certain diseases, including type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure, strengthens your heart, and releases endorphins, which are feel-good hormones that lower pain perception and give you positive vibes. It’s suggested to have at least three workouts per week, but if doing something rigorous and time-consuming is daunting to you, just start off small by doing a few simple exercises, such as jogging in place, squatting and planking, in your bedroom every day until you get to a point where you feel you can step up your game, so to speak.

Eat Healthily | Believe me when I say that I love junk food just as much as the next person, but eating it on a regular basis makes me feel like absolute crap. Now, disclaimer: This is not me trying to shove some kind of moral/food agenda down your throat, but I will say that ever since going vegan last February, I have noticed that I feel a lot more comfortable after eating than I ever did when eating meat or being on a vegetarian “diet” for four years. The way we eat significantly impacts our mood. For example, people who eat mostly healthy foods such as fruits and vegetables typically feel less sad and aggressive on a daily basis in comparison to people who mostly eat junk foods such as burgers and sugary candy. The way we eat also affects our weight, digestion, and overall nourishment. I’m not saying to completely give up junk food, as it’s unrealistic in our day and age to expect everyone to do that (hell, I’ll admit it: I’m guilty of eating pints of coconut ice-cream and bags of potato chips all on my own), but cutting back on junk food, even just a little, will definitely improve your mood and general health. Just give it a try, okay? Don’t go crazy with counting calories, carbs and whatever else though, or else you might get obsessive with weight goals and barely eat 500 calories a day (again, guilty).

Drink Plenty of Water | I can proudly say that I drink more than enough water every day, but not so much that I’m over-drinking water, which can be just as bad as not drinking enough. It is recommended that you drink eight 8 oz. glasses of water a day in order to stay properly hydrated. Whereas I was a bit lenient with doing things “perfectly” on a couple other things on this list, I’m going to tell you right now that you need to do this. Drinking water helps your body perform basic functions, such as create saliva, aid in digestion, flush out toxins, etc. If you do nothing else on this list regularly, or even at all (please brush your teeth), at the very least drink plenty of water. Trust me when I say that you’ll regret not staying hydrated when you nearly pass out and have a migraine for the rest of the day, or possibly actually pass out and end up in the hospital hooked up to an IV giving you fluids.

Sleep | Plain and simple, get some sleep. I know first hand that it’s not that easy for some people. Getting only three to four hours of sleep each night, if even that, is torture. However, staying up watching Netflix or playing games on your phone at eleven o’clock at night is not helping anything. The light emitted from screens can delay the brain’s release of melatonin, which is the hormone that lets your body know it’s time for sleep. Also, staying up late doing work or making plans or whatever the hell you’re doing at one in the morning is obviously going to throw your sleep schedule off-balance. You might hate doing it, but laying down at a set time every night and setting an alarm in the morning with enough time in between to get 7-10 hours of sleep can really help you have plenty of energy to get through the day, because you’ve given your body time to rest and prepare itself for the next time you’re up and moving around. Getting enough sleep helps prevent extreme weight fluctuations, reduce stress, lower risk for serious health problems (ex. heart disease), improve immune system functions, etc. It’s important, so if you’re having serious trouble sleeping, talk with a professional and see what kind of medicine or routine you can start on to hopefully get an adequate amount of sleep each night.

Now get off your phone and go to bed. It’s late.

#self-care #self care #self-care tips #self care tips #Lazy #anxious #skincare #moisturize #brush teeth #floss #exercise #eat healthy #drink water #self care ideas #self-care ideas #sleep #seriously go to sleep #I lied #I don’t floss regularly

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calliecosplay · 6 years ago

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gf.me/u/jzzk36

I am overwhelmed with the outpour of love and support that you guys have shown me the last couple of days. I truly cannot say enough or express my gratitude to thank each and every one of you. This is absolutely the most difficult and trying time in my life and I am so desperately trying to keep it together. All of your love and support is so very dear to me and I am so very thankful that you all are here. It makes going through all this so much more bearable. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Love, light, and virtual hugs to all of you. xoxo <3 <3 <3 ***Read more for extended update*** Now, since I like to talk a lot and vent...AND write, this is why I have extended updates. I love expressing and sharing what I'm going through. One day I'd really love to advocate for empowerment of people with disabilities. People with any kind of illness have so many limitations. I'm going to focus on invisible, chronic diseases and illnesses because that is what I have first hand experience with. It is so depressing sometimes, realizing how sick I am at times. When I want to do something, say hiking a difficult trail or just going out for dinner or a movie, it is, most of the time, very hard for me. When you're in so much pain all of the time, you have to learn to suck it up and put on a face. It's so difficult sometimes. And sometimes, you just don't have the energy to put on a face. You lay in bed and take your meds, hoping they kick in so you can get at least *some* sleep before the weekend's over. This is your weak side, the side you don't always show to others. Only the closest people know this side of you...the sick side, the true side. But you don't want to be like this. It kills you a little bit each time the sick side wins. I have given in to the sick side so many times. I've had to. Sometimes, the weakness takes over. But inside, you still have hope. I feel the hope within me, even though at times it seems it's so close to dissipating and going away forever. But it's not going anywhere. I want to be strong. I want to fight against my limitations when I'm strong enough. I want to do the things I used to be able to do. That's what I'm fighting for. I really would like to reference Steve Rogers right now. He was sick, but he had a strong wonderful heart and ultimately, who he was inside was materialized and personified at last. His story gives me hope and inspiration. So very much of it. I hope to grow a community where this hope is widespread among people who suffer with invisible, chronic illnesses like myself. I want to become healthy myself and fight every limitation and show others that they can do anything they want to as well. I refuse to let my diseases define who I am as a person. They will always be a part of me, but they will not control me. *** I've been grieving a lot recently...something I wasn't expecting to do much or be so difficult. The emotional loss of a miscarriage is so much heavier than I thought it would be. This was a constant fear of mine, or that I'd never be able to conceive at all. After all of this, that fear is so very powerful now. The grief I have experienced has been coming in waves. Last night and early this morning it hit me so hard I almost lost it completely. It was the toughest time I've faced yet. Miscarriages are so common; yet, I didn't think it would ever even happen to me. So many couples go through this loss, and I can only hope it strengthens their love and spirits once time has eased their pain. Obviously, this is all horrifying for me, given what happened. So, my OBGYN said I hemorrhaged during surgery. He didn't know why. This is why he suspects it was a molar pregnancy instead of a blighted ovum. The pain has been very bad. I'm supposed to be on bed rest most of the time, but I'm also supposed to do light exercise such as walking and stuff. Yesterday evening, I went for a *very* light walk on my favorite trail in the Black Hills, a beautiful place called Stratobowl Rim. I did good, however all of my joints are way more out of whack than normal. I normally have a tendency to overdo it when it comes to my health. Sometimes, it's difficult for me to accept that I will never be able to do some things again, and I'll never be able to do anything like how I used to before I became so plagued with these chronic illnesses. Again, this is why I want to fight these limitations and get as healthy as possible. So that I can show myself and others that I can still do the things I want. Health wise overall, I'm doing fine. Sore after taking the very light walk yesterday. I'm supposed to get up and walk around a little so I don't get blood clots. It helped, and it really improved my spirits overall. I also proved to myself that I could do it and while it definitely wasn't easy, the benefits outweigh the cons. Another thing: nature always brings a light, glowing, joyful feeling within my heart. There's something wonderful about the fresh air and majestic scenery. It is healing in itself no doubt. We walked during the golden hour, so I was able to take some pics. Don't mind my bruised arms from all the IVs and needle pokes lol. I might have overdone it a little because I am sore as heck and poppy (my joints) all over. But again, I have to make sure, especially because I'm in bed most of the time, that I'm getting up and moving around at least a little bit so no clotting happens and my circulation is more efficient (so vital because my body is still replenishing a lot of blood for my anemic self). I'll take it easy for the rest of the weekend, but I will probably try another light walk/hike on Monday, it just depends on how I'm feeling. Anyway, I love all of you. I really want to make a video soon. Maybe later today or tomorrow. <3 I hope you all have a beautiful and happy Saturday! Love, Leah

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shirleylawson · 4 years ago

Text

R&R in Scotland

May 2014

I am telling you! You could not make this shit up!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am convinced I am jinxed. Someone is stabbing a wee voodoo doll with my face on it, and the bastard is not perturbed even though I keep fighting him/her and pretending like it’s water off a ducks back, with my, "bring it on" jinx fairy attitude! And still my jinx keeps trying to break me. But it’s a weird kind of jinxed because I personally feel extremely lucky and blessed, even though the jinx still keeps throwing me shit.

My latest jinxed story is this week I’ve had in Scotland. One week today I’ve been here. I so badly needed a little ME time and to decompress. Scotland/home seemed like the answer but I can't say it' been therapeutic.

I was only here a few days when I woke up with stabbing pains in my chest and an ambulance was called by my Lesley, and the next thing I knew I was lying in the Emergency room in my pink, fluffy, panther onesie (well Lesleys onesie, but it wants to be mine)! I could see on the sphyg that my blood pressure was 250/110 , geezo I thought, didn’t know numbers went that high on these machines! Digital age eh? A lovely, lovely young 1st year resident doctor boy child, who had really just gone into third year at school surely, gave me an IV of morphine and valium that buzzed and whooshed it’s lovely, lovely LOVELY way to my limbs and head within one single minute. Onsie on, hands behind my head, laying back, sun shinning outside and right onto my little stretcher bed, life felt pretty good for about 20 minutes, for the first time in too long to remember. Lesley even managed to get an unexpected day off as ‘’carer'’ to her friend, ‘’NO SHE DOESN’T HAVE ANYONE ELSE TO GO WITH HER, IT’S ME, ONLY ME!!!’’, I heard her scream to her boss down the phone as I was wheeled passed by the paramedics to the ambulance! By the way, when you hear the mee maw mee maw of an ambulance in the distance, and you know it's coming for you, it's the freakiest shit! That was a first for me, it wasn't on my bucket list, but still, it was a first which is always a positive. But I’m lying there, in the emergency room, thinking, in my comfy onesie, where will we go for lunch I wonder. See Mr. Jinx? I really don’t care most of the time, you’re wasting all your good tricks on me really! Things don’t freak me out that much, I’ve pretty much done that seen most of it before so nope, the whole chest pain, ambulance (sorry to tell you but I actually loved the ambulance ride, I was so pleased as I’ve never ridden in one before and always wanted to see the inside), the whole taken to hospital thing was nothing really. I’ve been in more hospitals as a nurse AND as a patient than Mr. Jinxy’s had hot dinners, so he’ll need to try harder. All well, and by the next day I’m lying in Lesleys bright yellow bikini lapping up the ‘’normal’’ sun you get out of Dubai in her garden. A couple of days up North will sort me, get out of the city! So off I go…

No stress, no worries, no pain, no work, no editing, no clients, no husband and no kids…nothing! (all references are not in order of importance!) I felt quite chirpy on my drive up! I was awwwwing and ooooohhhing in all the right places at the beautiful scenery, window open, sun on my face, music on, out the car a couple of times to take pics, all well - not even getting upset that there was road works and I was jammed for an hour, nothing was a bother. I could smell Loch Lomand…I was a bit euphoric actually! The last 2 hours of the 4 hour journey, my euphoria was taking over by pain in my ankles. I was finding it difficult to use the gas and clutch pedals continuously for 4 hours because of my RA and my ankles and shins were complaining! By the time I swung round that bend that takes you into Oban, and that view that catches your breath from the top of your hill, wee fishing village, typically Scottish with it’s white houses and flowered gardens, it wasn't the view that was catching my breath... it was the agony of my ankles!! I found a place to stay pretty quickly and when I took my socks off in my room, it confirmed my suspicion. Red balloon legs and feet! I thought I’ll go have a shower, get the journey off my skin, take my meds and get into bed. On my drive up, I had stopped at a garage for petrol and also bought some cute little pink lady shaving razors, quite exited me, since I’d been here a week and had about 2 weeks of gorilla legs! So shower and a de fuzzing was waiting. When I get these flares, I get hundreds of little red, what look to me like blood blisters, on my skin wherever the flare is happening, in this instance, the legs. They disappear after the flare goes. You can probably guess what happened next! I’m drying myself outside the shower, in the guest houses fluffy, big, white bath towel and I notice my legs (and big fluffy white towel) were covered in blood! I’ve only gone and forgot about my little red occasional guests and shaved all their heads off!!! Blood!? Whatever they are, these blistery things, they are connected to a direct internal blood vessel system for sure, because they would…not….stop…BLEEDING! I get myself plugged up with around 100 wee bits of toilet paper stuck to my legs to stop the bleeding. You know, like the kind you see on mens faces after they’ve shaved sometimes? Well, same as them, but only 98 more! I was not gonna be stopped, onwards with my me time, I’m going out for fish and chips!!!!!

Fish and chips didn't prove to be such a good idea either as it turned out. Spotted a lovely wee bench, right on the sea front, all to myself with a view of little old fishing boats and the cry of seagulls, perfect. I'm eating away (great fish and chips I have to say) and I make the first fatal mistake of throwing a bit of fish out on the pebbled shore for the gulls. There's an instant swarm (or should I say flock) of seagulls, screaming and fighting over this piece of fish. Once it was eaten by the most definite gang master, as he was the size of a dog, he looked over at me and I swear he caught my gaze for at least 10 terrifying seconds. He had found the food source! That was the end of it all. I was dive bombed and swooped upon, well my box of chips, which was sitting on my lap was swooped upon. I tried to swipe them away by shouting a shoo shoo kind of chant noise and trying to act as if a swarm of birds attacking me wasn't bothering me as I was now entertaining the entire pub across the road who were all enjoying the lovely evening outside, all watching and pointing at me! I made a quick decision and threw the box down and bolted. Well bolted in my hobble kind of way at the moment, which I'm sure entertained the onlookers even more. An old lady passed me and disapprovingly shook her head at me, ''ohhhh you should't have done that!'' she said. I looked around and every seagull that has ever visited, stayed or immigrated to Oban was in the 4 foot space in front of my bench, fighting and squealing, a mass of feathers and beaks. I decided to give up in this particular day and head back to the guest house to watch the football.

At this point in a flare, I would normally sigh and think well that’s the next 4-5 days gone then. Cancel clients, prepare myself to be horizontal for at least a few days, and not in the horizontal good way, and generally prepare to disappear till it was over (except Facebook of course) Nope, I was there to de stress, me time, that’s what I was told I needed, some ME time, so I wasn’t going to let a flare get in my way. Cutting a very long story short, not a good move, going out, even for fish and chips and seagull gladiator games, didn't improve my flare. To cut another long story short I hobbled my way up to the doctors surgery first thing in the morning, hoping they would take me before three weeks on Wednesday and perchance even today? My luck was in. Jinx was teasing me. Half an hour later I’m having a 4 inch needle of cortisone injected into my ankles and sent away with a 5 days supply of steroids, bliss! I hobbled back to my guest house at twice the speed of the first time. Still slower than the 80 year old couple I was chatting with along the way, but still, it was progress. I hobble past my guest house and head for the car park as my ticket expired one hour before. Is there any point on telling you what was on my car? £60 fine! Exceeding the paid amount of time parked. No, no i don’t care I tell myself, my flare feels so much better, I might even be able to drive tomorrow and leave, not getting upset, it's only money (shit) and I feel better which is more important. I go to the machine and pay enough to last till 9am the next morning. I sit in the passenger seat, door open and write the nice traffic warden person a note. I say, please don’t give me another ticket if i don’t manage down before 9am. The doctor at the surgery can confirm I’m not able to walk well at the moment due to an illness, here is my phone number, I am staying at a guest home 5 minutes away. Nice note. Should do the trick. I stick the note to the inside of the passenger window and a gust of wind blows the newly bought ticket out of my hand. I tried to grab it but landed on my knees from the car door. Kneeling on all fours, head bend back watching the ticket swirl around in the wind was the first time I thought, it really is getting to be a bit much this jinx business! I don’t have anymore change. I have a £5 note. I head off down the street to find a shop to get change. I pass a young mother sitting in her garden bench on her ipad, trying to ignore the constant moaning and screaming of her three small children playing around her. I really felt sad thinking how she’ll regret that when they leave home, and wished she had spent every second looking at their wee faces instead of an iPad. Then I realise I sound like an old granny and stopped that train of thought. First shop I pass is Farm Foods (a frozen food store) and I decide an ice lolly would be just the thing. Of course it’s a whole sale, bulk buying freezer place, so I can’t buy ONE ice lolly. I buy a box of 6 and give 5 to the woman on the bench for her kids as I pass her again. Kids are delighted!

New ticket on the car, the note is there too, I’m back in my room, legs elevated, medicated up, just watched the Italy game (world cup) and wondering what tomorrow will bring.

Start of a new week, my second week in Scotland starts tomorrow.

But all said and done, I must ask the new tenants in Rome if they threw away the dish of frozen water in the freezer with the two frozen names written on pieces of paper in it? I don’t think I told them about it and explained what it was. I told the last renters and I know it was there last summer coz I saw it, so they hadn’t touched it in 3 years. I think the new renters have thrown it away. Those two names I had in the freezer will have escaped! My spell will be broken. They will have put their jinx back on me… I’m sure of it! Although that wouldn’t explain all the jinx’s when they were in the freezer these past three years now would it? Hmmmm I don’t think this white witch spell works actually now that I think about it.

My phone has just broken, screens just gone black. I can still hear it ring or sms’s come in, but I can’t reply or answer as it’s just black. Shame I sold that new phone last week. :(

The end

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musings-for-the-masses · 5 years ago

Note

have you considered self improvement and taking up some fulfilling hobbies instead of taking out your stunted incel rage on well adjusted people who love each other enough to start a family? btw, i feel like you're going for an 'oscar isaac in ex machina' type look, but instead you're serving 'overcompensating emasculated codemonkey who jerks off to futa hentai on his phone in the bathroom at work' realness... just thought i should let you know since apparently no one else has. get well, sis! x

have you considered self improvement

Yeah, unfortunately I have no willpower, work ethic, & am lethargic so this endeavor is proving very difficult.

fulfilling hobbies

I hardly have enuff energy to expend on work to pay the bills – let alone recreational activities. But yeah it’s true I should seek more experiences beyond porn & YouTube videos.

stunted incel rage

It’s fair to say that I am stunted in at least a way or two. No argument there.

I would like to have sex but cannot (no GF) so I suppose I am technically an incel.

I choose to describe myself as a volcel because I do not care *enough* about fucking to put any effort whatsoever into finding a partner. I’ve also ghosted hotties that messaged me on OKcupid.

well adjusted people who love each other enough to start a family

All I did was say pregnant women are gross. They’re gross because breeding is unethical in most scenarios imo (overpopulation is a problem). Theres also something kinda creepy about a fetus, no? It’s essentially a parasite that lives inside the woman. The “Alien” & “Earthbound” franchises are well aware of the freaky-factor of fetuses and utilize birthing/fetal imagery to disturb the audience.

Anyway, if you think a pregnant woman is an inherently good thing then you are oddly naive. Surely you are aware of single mothers? Deadbeat fathers? Stupid/narcissistic/abusive parents?

you’re going for an ‘oscar isaac in ex machina’ look

I don’t really go for any look cuz I don’t particularly care about aesthetics. I shave my head for practical reasons (also too cheap to pay for haircuts).

Anyway, that movie was alright – 6/10. I liked that the main character referenced Depeche Mode! I wonder how many ppl know my moniker is a reference to one of their album titles?

overcompensating

That “badass/edgy/severe” expression/pose I adopted for that previous profile pic was sort of an inside joke. I took a selfie of myself in a Spongebob shirt doing a goofy grin ;3 at the same time I took that “INTJ stare” pic. It was meant to look “try hard” to be ironic.

emasculated

Theres nothing wrong with having your dick/balls chopped off. If anything I view eunuchs as respectable. They are kind of futuristic in a way – not subject to primitive desires.

codemonkey

My dads been trying to convince me to become a coder for years. I’d probably be good at it, but as I mentioned i’m too lazy/tired to expand into new fields.

jerks off to futa hentai

I’m not really a fan of futa or hentai tbh. Tho theres definitely some excellent hentai, like Raita’s wonderfully written & drawn “Mahou Shoujo“ series or the hilariously hot “My Balls” manga.

The closest thing to futas ive jerked off to is MtF trannies in some porn clips. I like MtF trannies in porn because they are more expressive which makes for a more engaging performance (SuperChads are too stone-faced & stoic). Note: I’m not really jerking it to the tranny themselves per-se but the hot CIS girls that they are having sex with.

in the bathroom at work

You kind of overrate me to think I have a traditional type job. I’m practically half-NEET.

i should let you know since apparently no one else has

Literally dozens of people on Tumblr have mocked me for my supposed “involuntary celibacy” & “lack” of hair.

But a lot of that other stuff was fairly fresh I suppose. Overall pretty good roast: 7/10

0 notes

bwicblog · 7 years ago

Text

VD: 😮 see, when my viewers told me there was a new chat o=

VD: 😮 i was hoping it was a live one! o= VD: 😮 or at least there'd be a little spark of life! but this is just so awfully dead o=

VD: 😮 dead BORING o=

VD: 😮 ... o= VD: 😮 i claim this chat in the name of CHANNEL 87! 😮 => u <=

VD: 😮 oh, what the FUCK o= VD: 😮 it's ruining my quirk! o=

SA: you can't claim it.

ID: ahahah wooowww.

VD: 😮 well, gosh, i guess not if it's got people in it! o:

VD: o: pretend you didn't see that! we're having some TECHNICAL QUIRK DIFFICULTIES right now 😮

VD: o= ugh!!! 😮

II: Haha, oh my

II: Well, I'm not quite _here_ since I'm technically at a lecture, but this speaker is dreadfully boring

II: You would think someone who specialized in colonization and diplomacy law would be a fascinating sort of person!

DD: omgggggggggggggg i would be okay with vd claiming this chatroom!!! DD: it would make it about fifty times cooler than before!!! i mean not that its not cool now just that shes definitely cooler and it would be an improvement

II: But they're hideously dull.

ID: nah ii, that sounds hella boring.

DD: i am seconding id!

SA: just quit using the colon with the o.

II: I was hoping they would have interesting stories about aliens, or exploration!

SA: you will look far less suprised.

II: All they have done is drone about minor policy details, which are relevant I suppose but nothing I could not simply read about myself.

DD: well if they are boring details i suspect they figured you wouldnt be especially inclined to read about them yourself so they should say them to you instead so you cant escape!

DD: unless you escape by ignoring them and chatting online instead i suppose but there is no helping some circumstances

II: I always read my briefings.

II: No matter how dull.

II: But going to a lecture is different, I expect some sort of personal flair.

DD: im sure you do but does everyone

DD: its a lecture isnt it i dont suppose youre the only one in there

VD: gosh, sa, that's about what i'm ready to do. VD: it's a shame! that quirk is my THING. VD: but oh well! VD: gotta adapt to the medium!

ID: some trolls just love the sound of their own voice. doesn't mean they're interesting.

SA: 😮

DD: nooooooooo vd 😢

II: Haha, hardly. I am mostly surrounded by teals and a few bluebloods.

SA: i suppose there is no beating it.

DD: rip the quirk

II: But none of them look particularly thrilled either, except those who I suspect are trying to curry favor.

II: And they look rather glassy.

ID: big fish little pond huh ii?

VD: ii, this may be a pretty wild suggestion, so hold onto your pants, but. VD: have you thought about escaping out the window?

SA: some trolls simply sound monotonous but they say very important things.

SA: like me

SA: full stop.

ID: hahaha yeah ii, just dive out the fucking window.

II: Sadly there are no windows in this conference room.

II: Otherwise it would have occurred to me.

VD: and don't cry, dd! the quirk SURVIVES. online, that is! on my stream. VD: winky face!

SA: that is. not at all subtle.

DD: well then take a vent DD: or a ceiling panel!

SA: are you streaming this chat?

ID: fake your death ii. it's the only way.

VD: aww. crawl out under the tables to freedom!

II: I...strongly doubt I would fit through one of those.

II: Or manage to go under the tables, haha.

II: ...though faking my death _is_ sounding appealing.

II: Or at least faking being unconscious.

ID: faking your death is fool-proof.

DD: and ahaha omg DD: im sorry! DD: i was trying not to make it weird but yes oh dear i love your stream very much and i would just like to say that im very pleased that STARship helps make it possible!!

VD: what? no! chats are boring! VD: technically, i might be streaming just a LITTLE. VD: but don't worry, this is not exactly the sort of hard-hitting content that gets my viewers going!

SA: I.

VD: unless ii fakes their death!

ID: you either succeed or they find out you're faking and cull you for realsies.

SA: well, I'm done here for an hour or so.

II: Well if I do, I shall be sure to film it for you.

II: I am nothing if not considerate.

VD: awww. you're a real doll!

II: Haha

DD: ... also maybe if youre ever interested in upgrading well be releasing a new system for synthetic neural synapse that helps streamline wetware-hardware connection and im sure you dont ever have lag but if you do i mean

II: Oh, are you a tech expert, DD?

II: How charming!

DD: i!!! DD: kind of!!

DD: you could say that!

DD: STARship is my company!!

DD: co-company??

VD: ... as is dd! VD: STARSHIP is the big hit that makes it all possible, it is true. VD: why, without them, where would we be? filming with cameras, like a bunch of cocoon-wetting pupas? =:B VD: nah!

VD: oh!

ID: oh god is this just a chat of highblood nerds now.

II: Yes, we have invaded

II: Terribly sorry

DD: well its not when youre here!

DD: 😄

VD: yes, exactly! VD: you are saving us all, id, you valiant hero, you.

DD: wait that sounded like i dont want you here and that is the opposite of what i intended

DD: yes what vd said

ID: uh-huh. totes got my feels injured by that declaration dd, but i guess you patched them.

II: Hahaha

DD: though really its not as though ive gone on at particular length about my work at anybody as of yet i mean i would like to think i am more considerate than that to both those unfamiliar with my jargon and also to my patent legislacerators

II: You don't deal with lowbloods much, do you, DD?

II: Many of the ones I know are not exactly fragile

ID: no ii, i'm suuuppperrrr fragile.

II: Hah!

ID: got a broke ass arm to prove it. =:'(

II: And I'm the governor of Provenance.

DD: i mean not really aside from the lovely members of station 11 that are helping me test my latest prototypes but also i didnt say that because he is a lowblood i said it because i was afraid i hurt his feelings

DD: though there are many physiological and psychic differences between highbloods and lowbloods it is a common misconception that they extend to the psychological! DD: for the most part anyways i mean there are some differences but

VD: i would love to take you up on your sweet offer, dd - mx dd - but i am just not sure i need it! VD: my visual hookup is state of the line. top of the rack! VD: and besides, i think i would miss all of my modifications. =:B can't get THOSE storebought!

DD: what i am saying is that i think that would have been a jerk thing to say to anybody!

DD: if i had meant it the wrong way i mean

ID: what i'm getting from this is that dd is a jerk.

DD: and oh of course i mean i know it is state of the line i am afraid i just got overexcited and-

DD: no i am not!!

II: Ah, I think I would call them...inexperienced?

DD: at least i am not trying to be 😦

II: In some social aspects.

ID: accidentally a jerk.

II: I don't think you are, DD.

DD: what did i do that was jerkish?

VD: hahaha. oh, gosh.

II: It's just plain you haven't dealt with lower castes much.

VD: y'all talk really fast, don't you?

ID: yeah we're hella touchy about you highbloods bringing up our differences. =:'(

DD: i have been told i talk very quickly and at great length my apologies if it is excessive

II: Hahaha

ID: and also apparently being used as guinea pigs for you.

II: Well, that is standard protocol I'm afraid.

VD: no, no, it is positively charming! VD: i just have got to stretch out all of my conversational muscles to keep up!

DD: and really?? DD: that has not been entirely my experience but also workplace sensitivity said that its good not to say all lowbloods are touchy or not touchy about everything in general because that is a bit of a stereotype regardless of which way you go!

DD: and oh dear now i am flustered

DD: thank you though!!!!

DD: that is very flattering

DD: and what do you mean guinea pigs?

DD: i do not eat lowbloods

VD: i.

ID: ....man.

II: ...do you eat guinea pigs, then?

ID: i mean, good on not fucking eating us.

ID: guinea pigs as in making us test your shit.

DD: i mean i have recently had pork yes!!

II: That...oh dear

II: That's not a guinea pig

DD: oh

DD: um!

II: That's just a regular oinkbeast.

ID: ahahah woowwww.

II: Guinea pigs are small and adorable and not really good for meat.

VD: oh, ii, don't drag the poor thing! VD: who hasn't looked at a little rodent and gone: well, shoot! that'd be delicious on a platter!

II: ...myself?

II: I say that mostly because they aren't really big enough to be a proper meal.

DD: i have to admit i am not certain what is common fare for eating when it comes to the landdwelling castes

ID: i mean where you find one guinea pig you'll find more.

DD: i have spent most of my time here thus far lamenting the profound lack of fish!!

ID: they travel together.

DD: i tried to get some sushi but i think the crab was fake

II: Gracious, DD, you almost make me want to take you for dinner somewhere, though surely that'd interfere with your work.

VD: oh, i don't know about that! VD: i got in a hive once that had a guinea pig just about the size of a house! VD: mean little critter, too. it nearly took a chunk out of my poor leg.

ID: 'got in a hive' sounds ominous af.

VD: i think everyone'd be better off if dd had gone and eaten that one. 😮 u o=

VD: oh, fiddlesticks.

DD: no thats fine i can work at any time but its not any time that i have the opportunity to make a new friend! DD: as long as you dont feed my guinea pig i suppose x))

II: Haha, I would never. Have you heard of Civitrecce, DD?

DD: oh no whats wrong???

DD: and no ii i am afraid i have not but i am also afraid i have not heard of most places that are not located underwater or in orbit!

VD: haha, it is only ominous if you want it ominous, id. VD: which is to say, i'd explain, but i'd hate to break the sense of suspense you're building here!

DD: except troll chicago but that was in a musical

DD: i am very in suspense!!

ID: i mean i'm just imagining you break in to hives for funsies.

II: Fair enough! It's my home city, though I am rarely there. It boasts many fine restaurants, including those tailored to the elite, so they have fine seafood.

VD: getting warmer, id! =0 u 0=

II: It also has a spaceport and land travel hub, so it has plenty of trains heading there.

VD: yessss, success!

DD: omg!! DD: in that case i would absolutely love to visit DD: you dont suppose they have any shops that sell nice moisturizer do they because i am coming to realize that this hotel does not come equipped with a salt bath and my gills are drying out and its becoming quite painful and DD: oh dear but thats me just being a complainer now!

DD: what did you do vd??

II: Oh, of course they do.

ID: hahah woow what did you expect being in the desert though dd?

II: ...I'm sorry, break into hives?

VD: 0= i got my quirk working again! =0 VD: 0= look at this, it is just like in the vids. =0

ID: text it vd breaks in to hives to murder for funsies.

DD: omggggggg i love it!

DD: and she doesnt MURDER anyone!!

DD: and i dont know ive never been to a desert!

VD: 0= what nooooo. 0= VD: 0= anyone can murder people! that's not impressive at all! =0

DD: expected it to be like the tropics!!

VD: 0= no one's going to watch that! =0

ID: so what do you do then.

DD: only the coolest stunts ever!!

II: Do you cause property damage and enter without the owners' consent.

VD: 0= hahaha, what is this, an ama? =0 VD: 0= because man, i love those. =0

ID: the fuck is an ama.

VD: 0= property damage is for wrigglers, ii! =0 VD: 0= the KEY to making it fun for the whole clade is breaking in without breaking anything, taking some stuff, and leaving before anyone can even grab their trident! =0

VD: 0= an ask me anything! 0=

VD: 0= where people.. well, gosh, ask you anything. =0

II: I see.

ID: ...so you stream breaking in and stealing from folks.

ID: highbloods.

II: _I_ do not condone this.

ID: 🙄

VD: 0= oh, don't worry, ii, i think you're pretty swell! 0=

DD: oh come on ii its not as though it really hurts anyone and besides if they didnt want their things stolen they should have installed better security systems!

SA: you sound like the sort of person that steals the remote control batteries and watches the hive dissolve into chaos.

VD: 0= and it's - yes, exactly! =0

DD: or worse ones i suppose since part of the fun is the challenge of a good security system

II: It is still illegal.

VD: 0= to both of those! =0

SA: "it's not like it really hurts anyone" "if they didn't want their things stolen they should have installed better security systems"

ID: highbloods pris.

SA: there is so many things. wrong. with that sentence.

VD: 0= i'm helping people improve themselves through a little TLC. 0= VD: 0= and by helping them put off doing their lethal bar paperwork! =0 VD: 0= it's a hard job, but gosh, someone's gotta do it. =0

II: The kind of logic used by all sorts of criminal rubbish.

SA: help me, Hadean.

VD: 0= it's not really a crime, if you think about it! =0 VD: 0= why, you could probably even say it's a public service! =0

II: It is _not_.

VD: 0= hahaha. i'm joking. =0 u 0= it's totally illegal. =0

ID: get 'em ii.

II: Yes it is and I find it particularly appalling that someone of your blood would do such a thing.

II: Shame on you for disgracing your caste.

ID: yeah vd you're setting a bad example for us lowbloods.

ID: ii if you ever catch me stealing it's because vd made it look cool.

II: Ha

II: _Clearly_ .

VD: 0= am i a disgrace, ii? =0 VD: 0= because 1m viewers per session says that an awful lot of people think i'm a shining example! 0=

II: This troll isn't a suitable role model for a blind grub.

ID: also quick fact is it stealing if you're looting a corpse.

VD: 0= i am not quite sure of what, though, now that i think about it. =0 VD: 0= gosh, i should do a poll. =0

II: Your viewers are likely average bored citizens - no, not technically.

VD: 0= ewww. don't touch corpses! =0

ID: great!

SA: no it's just grave defilement.

VD: 0= that's how you get hornrot, id! =0

II: I mean, to be fair, I'd consider it wasteful to not. Unless they have quadrants who would like the body or belongings back.

II: Then it would be disrespectful, but not illegal.

ID: if they're recently dead it's fineeee.

VD: 0= oh, yes. =0 VD: 0= breaking into hives is wrong, but touching dead bodies is perfectly fine. 0=

SA: i'm sorry, did you go looting corpses today?

VD: 0= ii, i think your morals are a little questionable! =0

VD: 0= i think you're setting a bad example here! =0

II: Morality isn't the problem here. It's the law.

ID: not today. but some times a troll has to find some quick cash!

ID: yeah vd.

ID: i'm immoral but i'm legal.

II: Morals don't enter it. Luckily, I really do not care what you think, since you are a criminal.

II: Moreover, a _stupid_ criminal who talks about their crimes in an Imperial server.

VD: 0= well, isn't that just a knife straight to my heart? 😢 =0

SA: please it's not as if the police will come hunt them down for blasting it in a defunct server.

SA: they are a high blood.

SA: who... actually cares.

ID: ^^^^

II: I don't care for their blood. I care for their blatant immaturity and defilement of the legal system.

II: They ought to be disciplined.

SA: as long as they're looking from a caste below them the police will turn a blind eye.

VD: 0= haha, yeah, i would not put it exactly like that, but. =0 VD: 0= close enough! =0

II: _I_ am not below them.

ID: so a firm slap on the wrist.

ID: aka what any highblood ever gets.

ID: unless they fucked with a higherblood.

II: I am two castes higher, and this is wrong.

SA: then call the police and we'll wait.

VD: =0 oh, don't worry, ii! =0 VD: =0 i said i'd never steal from your hive, because we were being downright frondly. =0 VD: =0 but let's be honest here! =0 VD: =0 i wouldn't steal from your hive because you're an awful stick in the mud, and i don't think anyone'll be quite impressed by your collection of troll twilight books! 0=

SA: 😮

VD: =0 u =

II: It's hardly that simple, as I'm sure you know, but I will certainly be filing this - haha, what. Oh that's amusing, considering I have no interest in that series and in fact recently derided it.

ID: also is attempted but not fully carried out murder a crime? just asking random questions i've always wondered with someone who knows law at hand.

SA: Hadean i am aggressively elbowing you in spirit.

II: Mm, technically, but it also depends on a lot of other legal codes.

VD: =0 it's only ever a crime if you get caught, id! =0 VD: =0 or if you stream it live, every night, at 6:00PM IST! =0

ID: i'm not murdering anyone pris, i'm just curious.

SA: "asking for a friend"

II: It varies by area and specific caste restriction, though I'm in favor of investigating as many attempted murders as possible.

ID: no, asking because i have a lot of free time on my hands to ask these questions!

SA: i hate you :l

II: Ignoring the small crimes usually leads to getting complacent toward the bigger ones.

ID: =:P

SA: 💚

ID: so chop the hand off the thief to send the murderers a warning kind of thing?

II: Pfft, how barbaric. Hardly.

ID: so like, then. what's the worst crimes a troll could commit?

II: Difficult question depending by what standards you're asking.

II: Castewise, the murder of a tyrian, though even that's a thorny issue given that the Condesce generally appreciates _fewer_ challengers, though there are exceptions for non-heir or heiress fuchsias.

VD: =0 oh, i know this one. 0= VD: =0 early culling a heiress! 0=

II: Please ignore VD, who is not a legal expert, and an idiot.

ID: shots fired.

VD: =0 so don't spear any princesses, id. 0= VD: =0 that's an awful big glitch to make. 0=

ID: i have yet to run in to any princesses but i'll keep it in mind.

II: But if we're talking more generally, destruction or alteration of Imperial property is a big one. That causes us a lot of issues every sweep. On a wider scale, sabotage of the fleet itself.

SA: oh i have.

SA: but they were already dead when I got there.

VD: =0 well, i say give ii all the attention they're so desperately craving. 0= VD: =0 after all, it'd be mean to steal their limelight! 0= VD: =0 even if they are droning like the speaker they were just complaining about. 0=

VD: =0 wow! 0= VD: =0 really? 0=

ID: oh i get elbowed over asking about murder, but you can talk about a dead princess?

II: I suppose it's easy to interpret my giving of facts as attention craving from the person who clearly rotates their life around that very thing.

SA: well, I wasn't involved in it.

ID: i wasn't involved in murder either but iiii still got elbowed.

SA: (also I was not serious)

SA: why would i casually asy.

SA: I found a dead heiress.

VD: =0 what? booooo. 0= VD: =0 i was excited to hear about a heiress! 0=

II: Even if you were, it's hardly my business. Fuchsia disputes are above my station.

ID: uh because you do cool shit?

II: Unless the culling was done by a lower caste.

SA: oh do you really think so?

VD: =0 there's a girl who streams and CLAIMS she's tyrian. 0= VD: =0 but i am pretty sure it's just make-up! 0=

ID: i mean dangerous but cool shit.

SA: claiming ones relation to a tyrian heiress is. unwise.

SA: 😊

II: There are violets who play at being tyrian, heaven knows why. Such a thing is not only dangerous but incredibly silly.

ID: no one here is destroying property or sabotaging the fleet ii.

ID: so what about crimes that you actually see?

SA: Oh, well, there goes my weekend plans.

SA: thank you, Hadean.

II: Haha

ID: =:P np, np.

VD: 0= gosh, id, way to be a regular buzzkill. 0= n =0

ID: that's me. head buzzkill.

II: Sometimes I deal with ones involving Imperial property, but often it's far more ordinary work. But I'm afraid we're breaking for snacks, so I'm going for a bit.

ID: well bye.

ID: snacks can be entertaining at least.

SA: ... breaking for snacls...

ID: highbloods need their snack breaks pris.

SA: oh. yes.

SA: silly. me.

ID: otherwise they get cranky! =:P

SA: 🍱

ID: careful you'll summon back the sushi-fish.

SA: DD?

ID: yeah.

AA: sushi what now. >:?

SA: 🌮

SA: there.

ID: dd wants sushi. despite being in the desert.

AA: that's a taco.

AA: >:[

ID: fuck now i want a taco.

SA: I know it's a taco, I'm correcting my sushi mistake

AA: go get a taco!!

AA: and o, o, ic.

SA: he's going to say something like

ID: tacos cost money. =:P

SA; i can't afford a taco

SA: yes.

ID: i'm sorry i'm poor pris!

SA: i could wire you money.

ID: nah i'll just whine at sips.

ID: (ps my hair is so fucking soft.)

SA: 🙄

SA: send selfie.

ID has sent sofuckingsoftman.png!

DD: omg are we sending selfies? ^_^ DD: im sorry i had to go for a little bit there was a tad bit of an explosion and i had to put out a fire DD: or well tell the bot to put out a fire!!

ID: gotta remember your fire safety dd.

SA: beautiful.

ID: also sure it can be selfie night.

DD: and oh dear your hair looks very lovely!

SA: how hard is it to ... not cause explosions.

DD: thought the horns are interesting ive never seen a floating one before is it mechanical?

ID: hahah no that's my horn.

DD: and surprisingly difficult in some circumstances! DD: i mean part of the testing process was to see if it would explode so

ID: allll keratin.

DD: test success!! DD: it just exploded more than i thought it would!

DD: and oh dear then how is it floating?

DD: and omg wait wait i want to send a selfie too then

DD: um! DD: oh no my hair is a mess um

ID: magic. and psi.

DD: one minute i need to find a comb!!

ID: mostly the psi.

SA: silly hadean.

SA: magic isn't real.

SA: clearly it's a collective hallucination.

ID: fuck you magic is real. =:P

SA: fuck you 😠

DD: fancy! that sounds like it takes up a lot of energy though i suppose horns are fairly small and if it is already attuned to you on account of it being your own growth... DD: anyways!! comb!

DD: brb ❤

SA: there they g.

SA: ...go

ID: that was a teasing fuck you. =:P

SA: i would never say fuck you and mean it 😇

IJ: Nobo>y better be breaking the law in here.

AA: dnw, prni's emojis arne as genuine as yrn floating horn. >:}

ID: oh my god my horn is realsies.

VD: =0 oh my god, what is this? 0= VD: =0 legislacerator central? 0=

SA: what are you going to do, copper.

II: Oh, are we doing selfies -

II: I'm working on that, Halvea

ID: it's selfies night in here.

ID: dd is off primping for it.

VD: =0 oh! 0=

IJ: It is something, alright. Selfies? Is that it? Hmm.

VD: =0 brb, i'm going to get my mirror! 0=

II: haha, I'm afraid I only have an old one. I rarely do selfies.

SA: it's very easy.

SA: you take your phone.

ID: oh my god highbloods.

SA: hold it above your head.

SA: and hit 'take photo'

ID: allll gotta primp!

SA: and send it to the chat.

II: http://cloudbattrolls.tumblr.com/post/152449745713/i-stole-her-glasses-and-fed-them-to-a-chihuahua

AA: you can't just hold it above yrn head, prni.

II: Camera was poor quality, unfortunately

AA: therne's an A RN T to selfies.

SA: an art.

SA: why the teal bangs.

-IJ has sent PhotoDay.png to the chat! It is mostly Halvea being unwinding in her office. Her tie needs actual tying.-

ID has sent lookselfiesarenotart.png!

ID: man, i just did what pris said and. viola.

II: Oh my, you have such interesting tattoos, ID

ID: a genuine selfie.

II: They almost remind me of paint

AA: they'rne clownpaint. isn't that neat?

SA: ...

AA: i think it's neat.

AA: >:}

ID: ohhhh my god they're tattoos.

SA: 😂

SA: look at you, IJ.

ID: i did not have a guy spend twenty hours jabbing a needle in to my face to be told it's paint is2g.

II: Haha, why would they be paint? Even if they were, that's not half-paint, it wouldn't be at all suitable.

SA: wait.

SA: you actually had that tattooed onto your body.

SA: I assumed it was just. birthmarks.

ID: yes.

AA: ikrn?

SA: i.

IJ: Teal is a perfectly fine color. IJ: An> you aren't allowe> to wear excessive amount of face paint while on the job. It can get in your eyes an> can cause temporary blin>ness.

SA: ...

SA: I don't know you. at all.

DD: whats wrong with primping maybe i want to feel pretty! DD: :D DD: anyways here you go!! DD has sent selfienight.png! [Dazzle is in some sort of mechanics lab in the background with hastily combed hair and making a peace sign to the selfie cam while beaming. He's already found time to add a bunch of stickers and filters to the photo.]

II: That is not an excessive amount of facepaint, Halvea!

II: It's a perfectly reasonable amount.

IJ: I know, In>ri>, I am stating for the peanut gallery why you >on't.

VD: =0 congratulations, dd, you are positively adorable! 0= VD: =0 i like the bows! 0= VD: =0 very nifty! 0=

SA: you would almost be cute if you weren't insufferable and a worse space cadet than myself.

ID: there is no paint so let's drop the paint tak. =:I

II: Oh, how precious!!!

ID: wow pris, suave.

II: You look so cute, DD

SA: i use my best lines on you, of course

SA: i have my priorities straight.

DD: omggg thank you!!!!! ❤ ❤ ❤

DD: i found a new app that has a lot of cute filters and stickers so ive been using it a lot!

ID: i like that your horns don't match.

DD: oh um! DD: haha they actually used to so im glad you think it looks nice now! DD: they used to make the loveliest heart shape together but unfortunately there was an incident!

II: Oh whoops, I missed SA's question

DD: and now i have no horns basically

DD: 😢

VD: =0 i know? asymmetry is such an eye-catcher! 0= VD: =0 you can make an entire logo out of that. 0=

DD: omg ❤

II: I like teal! I am surrounded by tealbloods thanks to my job, after all

DD: that is a hell of a way to cheer a troll up you guys thank you

II: So I dye my hair with it

ID: ahahah wow is that why you have no hair too?

SA: I... see.

IJ: Horns are often something that can become a hazar> when working in many fiel>s, it is a smart thing to >o.

ID: or is that a style choice.

DD: um! no that was also

DD: an accident

DD: the same accident actually

DD: or well a different occasion but overall the same series of events

ID: my horns are never a hazard and i love them.

II: Your horns look very sharp and useful!

ID: but uh. sorry about the accident i guess.

SA: that is the biggest lie i have ever heard.

DD: but i think ive had it cut nicely now dont you?

SA: short hair is practical anyways. You should embrace it.

DD: oh dear

VD: =0 well, dd's already seen my selfie! 0= VD: =0 but here, since everyone else's putting up pictures: 0= VD attaches TROLLSTARWARS.jpeg! [ It's her making a victory sign at the camera with tiny robotic camera-drones surrounding her. ]

DD: thank you! DD: and really it is not that big of a deal now aside from the um DD: lack of hair and horns and having to leave my home and all of that DD: which is to say its been a lot of trouble but really im sure it will sort itself out!!

ID: i mean it looks nice for short hair. I just always assume seadwellers have long hair because. i don't know.

VD: =0 short hair is practical! 0= VD: =0 no industrial accidents that way, haha! 0=

ID: what are those things.

DD: omgggg ❤ ❤ that is very cute vd! or maybe just epic!!!

ID: i want to take a bat to them.

VD: =0 you wouldn't be the first, id. 0= VD: =0 winkyface! 0=

SA: 😉

DD: and you wouldnt be wrong id its very common to have long hair after all it is ideal to emulate our lovely sovereign in all ways we can ❤

DD: i used to have long hair that is to say just not anymore!

VD: =0 yes, sa's got my number down. haha! 0= VD: =0 anyway, they're video drones! 0=

ID: hurrah, all stereotypes have some truth to them after all.

DD: omg ❤

ID: ....are you so in love with yourself you need constant video of all angles or...

DD: well you have to have the best angles for the best stream!!

DD: besides all of merlons angles are good angles

DD: because she only shows the best angles!!

ID: ...are you a fangirl.

DD: well i mean i am definitely a fan but i am not a girl!

ID: ...fanboy. sorry.

DD: its okay im sure its a common assumption to make about my caste given the public face of the empire is a lady ❤

ID: also you have a face that could go either way.

VD: =0 sorry, sorry, unexpected guest! =0 VD: =0 but our hold is done and i am BACK. =0 VD: =0 and i'm not in love with myself, id. that'd be silly! =0

DD: oh really do i?? DD: i dont suppose i pay enough attention to that sort of thing but girls do tend to be really cute so i will take that as a compliment!

VD: =0 but i have to make sure to please all of my delightful fans! 0=

ID: uh-huh.

ID: dd. vd or one of those rainbowdrinkers in all the movies right now. which are you a bigger fan of?

DD: um!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: um!

DD: um um um um

SA: pick one the other dies.

DD: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ID: nah one of them doesn't actually exist pris.

ID: too easy a choice then.

DD: well then i would have to pick vd of course because the rainbowdrinkers are already dead!!

SA: i know that, I just want to up the stakes.

SA: but aren't they still living at heart 😢

DD: oh dear

ID: no one dies, you just have to make the choice dd.

SA: how else will they love bellae.

DD: this is a really difficult decision!!

DD: especially because i only really just found out about lestat and oh dear

ID: lestat's mate looks the superior one in that movie anyways.

DD: you are being really tough here and i do not think i can make that decision!

VD: =0 oh, gosh, id. 0= VD: =0 obviously i would pick dd. that's not a choice at all! 0=

ID: it's a tough world out there dd. =:P

DD: OH NO now i feel bad!!

DD: im so sorry vd of course i would pick you i was just temporarily enamored by my recent introduction to lestat

ID: w2g vd now he feels bad.

VD: =0 rainbowdrinkers are gross! 0= VD: =0 i don't know about you, but my lusus taught me that you shouldn't touch corpses. 0= VD: =0 never mind kiss 'em! 0=

ID: ...how about culling them.

SA: VD is right. prions.

VD: =0 yes, exactly! 0=

ID: ii is culling a rainbowdrinker illegal.

VD: =0 they're already dead, silly. 0= VD: =0 how are you gonna cull them? 0=

SA: i don't believe so as many of them go off the grid when they die.

SA: they are considered legally dead.

ID: i mean. burn them to ash?

SA: and many places superstitously view rainbow drinkers as culturally unacceptable despite the Imperial stance they are not real.

DD: i dont think you can get prions from kissing someone and oh dear i dont think rainbowdrinkers are really supposed to be like corpses! DD: they are walking and talking people after all and i do not think a corpse could have hair as nice as lestat or eyes as piercing as edwards

SA: so.

SA: No it would be encouraged to murder them.

DD: this is a very troubling conversation oh my goodness

ID: welcome to this chatroom almost every night dd.

DD: !!!

AA: aww, n, it's not T H A T bad. AA: yesternnight we werne talking about sushi.

AA: and all the ways to make it.

AA: fish like sushi, rnight?? >:}

SA: 🎊

DD: i love sushi!

DD: i have been craving some for nights!

AA: lmfao, good.

ID: it wasn't that incredible when i had it.

SA: no. not this again.

SA: damn you Sipara.

AA: 💚

SA: 🖕

ID: no damning sips for one whole night, she earned the privilege by letting me use conditioner.

SA: she can be damned for twenty minutes.

DD: well maybe you did not have very good sushi id DD: i tried the sushi out here and it was probably fake or at the very least very unfresh and really its much better when you have it properly made with fresh caught fish DD: also i just very much enjoy fish in general on account of eating it a lot of the time!

DD: and oh dear

SA: excuse me.

SA: I have excellent taste.

AA: wtf, don't i earn the prnivilege by spending an hourn brnushing yrn headfluff??

ID: that too.

AA: >:{

ID: i told you it tangles like a bitch.

ID: i t o l d you.

SA: i brought him the sushi he ate. and i am very particular about food.

DD: then maybe it is simply not to ids tastes to eat fish that wouldnt surprise me given it is probably not a part of his typical palate

ID: that's probbbsss it.

ID: i'm used to eating burgers.

ID: and squirrels.

SA: oh i've wanted to --

DD: oh ive never had a burger but ive seen them on tv a lot!

SA: ...how.

SA: I would die

ID: there's only so many things to eat in the middle of the desert pris. D:<=

SA: so fry a scorpion?

AA: you told me, but i told you it'd be, like, way bettern if you let me brnaid it. >:P AA: but w/e, w/e, it's way less tangled now, gj.

SA: leave the mammals alone...

AA: dd, go eat a burngern.

DD: !!

ID: nope. raw ass squirrel meat pris.

AA: actually, n. fuck the burngern. AA: just go stab a hoofbeast, and, like, eat it rnaw.

ID: just bite the fur off and went to t o w n.

SA: what

AA: that's the RN E A L landdwellern expernience.

AA: ain't got nothing like it.

DD: maybe i should i have been holding out in the hopes of maybe being able to get something i am used to delivered here and it has mostly resulted in me living off of lattes which is not a very good diet especially when i am attempting to be productive

SA: 🐴

DD: and they always look very good on tv though kind of weird i guess!

ID: burgers are the fucking best.

DD: theyre so..... cooked!!!

ID: ...and donuts.

DD: and in such a weird way!!

ID: yeah welcome to the land.

SA: please go to a restaurant, DD.

SA: there is an. entire world.

ID: if you don't cook the fuck out of them they might carry disease.

SA: the donuts or the burgers.

ID: both.

SA:

SA: ...

SA: I don't. know what i expected.

ID: =:P

DD: well im sure fish carry diseases too but i eat those raw all the time DD: maybe it is a matter of constitution??? DD: regardless i will definitely go eat a burger once i am done with this module do you think they would make me one without cooking the meat

ID: probably not.

DD: oh dear 😦

ID: the meat will not be. fresh.

AA: n, absolutely.

SA: actually yes.

AA: just thrnow yrn weight arnound.

DD: um!!

SA: Improperly prepared sushi can bear a number of worms and viruses.

AA: be like "I want this so frnesh it's strn8 off the hoofbeast" and they'll T O T E S go w/ it.

AA: .................

SA: particularly if it isn't chilled properly.

AA: ..................................................

ID: now you tell me. =:I

AA: why arne you feeding hads wornmy fish, prni.

DD: that sounds very concerning i have had the un-fresh fish here and i am not sure i want to have the un-fresh thing i havent had yet!

SA: I wouldn't do that to Hadean.

SA: I ate sushi at the same place before I brought it to him.

AA: would you have known it's full of wornms, tho.

ID: pris has the money for the fancy stuff sips.

ID: like. pris how much did you pay for your current outfit.

SA: I couldn't tell you.

ID: guesstimate.

AA: and it ain't that unfrnesh, dd, jeez. AA: trnust meee.

SA: however, I made roughly $3500 today.

SA: catching that indigo.

SA: so.

ID: see?

AA: hads li - >:1

SA: also yes because I would have gotten the worms too.

DD: what if maybe they can cook it like a little bit but not all the way do they do that

ID: man i should have let you wire me some cash. =:/

SA: that is caled a rare burger.

SA: you missed your chance, Hadean.

DD: oh!!!!!!!! DD: so those are a thing!!!

SA: besides what was it you said about taking advantage of people.

SA: and I should watch out.

SA: :p

AA: n, too late, yrn in the brnoke-ass rnust squad, hads. AA: no take-backs!!

ID: =:P you're learning. what have i created.

SA: 💚

ID: he still owes me a shopping trip one day though!

ID: no takebacks on that!

SA: you will be very fashionable. and also very practical.

SA: i promise.

DD: that is very good to know and i will try that because i suppose coming here should also be about trying new things!!

DD: and oh my goodness you should show us what you buy when you go shopping!!!

ID: yeah dd, dive in to the experience.

DD: changing room pix for your fav outfits! ^_^

ID: i live in a tent.

AA: lmfao.

ID: there is no rooms.

DD: ... changing tent pix?

DD: why do you live in a tent?? are you an adventurer?

AA: oh my goooooood, he meant in the storne, hadean.

SA: we aren't shopping in the tent.

AA: ^^^^^

ID: oh.

AA: also, prni, you gotta make surne he doesn't buy anything lame.

ID: sorry i don't go clothes shopping you guys.

SA: i will.

ID: i have three shirts and two pairs of pants and this shirt isn't even mine. give me a break.

AA: and y, totes an adventurnern, dd.

SA: dd, hadean is actually a fashion icon.

SA: you see, they're trying an experimental style.

SA: it's called minimalism.

SA: have you heard of it?

DD: wow that is not very much clothing even i have a lot more than that and i barely packed anything before i left aside from my lab equipment!! DD: we should go shopping together id you really need more clothing than that

SA: it's all the rage now.

DD: and yes i have but i thought that meant you have a lot of the same outfit and you style it differently

SA: oh my god.

ID: ...i have a lot of the same outfit.

ID: and style it exactly the same.

AA: omfg.

ID: and by a lot i mean. 2.

DD: thats how they make it look so nice!! DD: your outfits arent going to look nice if they are worn out because you only have two of them!

AA: evernyone else is being a dumb chucklefuck, dd, so, like.

AA: so let me say, on theirn account:

AA: y, pls go shopping w/ them. >:}

SA: i know how to shop.

DD: omg yay!!!

ID: i wonder what happened to my hooker uniform tho.

ID: wait what.

DD: wh

DD: your what

AA: he's an adventurnern, dd.

AA: duuuuh.

SA: hooker = / = adventurer

DD: that is not what i meant by adventurer!!!!

SA: --

AA: what sornt of adventurnern does not have a hookern outfit?

SA: !!oh!!

ID: i'm not actually a hooker.

SA: my god

AA: how else arne you gonna get in the brnothel to crnawl thrnough the vents to kill the duke?

DD: ............... i guess i did not think that was a thing outside of video games!!

ID: sometimes you need to dress the part tho.

AA: go thrnough the frnont doorn?

AA: puhlease.

DD: that makes sense!

AA: ofc it does.

ID: yes it does.

SA: sipara

SA: oh.

SA: you are all.

SA: awful.

SA: Peopple.

SA: I thought i was bad.

DD: you havent seemed like a bad person to me at all sa! 😦

DD: and neither does anybody else here really i mean i am pretty excited to try a burger and i wouldnt have done that without you guys!

AA: >:}

DD: omg maybe we can have some together when we go shopping?

ID: get cheese on it, cheese makes it better.

ID: well sips we are going to port port to drop lal off, right?

ID: sips can totes go on the shopping adventure too, right dd?

AA: y, y.

AA: wait, what.

ID: =:)

DD: oh there is nowhere good to shop here i dont think the town is so small!!!

DD: we should to go to the coastal city i got to see some of it on the way in and it is much larger

DD: and it is not that far away by train

ID: there we go!

AA: i wouldn't want to intrnude on yrn fancy, like, boy bonding time. >;0

ID: sips can totes use some fashion tips dd.

DD: omg!!

DD: i love giving fashion tips!

DD: the secret is BOWS

ID: perfect!

ID: sips could use some bows!

AA: fuck off, i've - oh my god.

AA: bows, like. AA: in yrn headfluff?

DD: i mean unless you are making fun of her fashion sense in general which strikes me as a little bit mean i am sure that you dress just fine!!

DD: and yes!! DD: and also i have one on my back!

DD: like at the top of my shorts its very fun to twirl with and it is nice and gauzy in the wind its almost like swimming again!

ID: sips, you twirl right?

AA: i

AA: have nevern twirnled so much in my goddamn life as i would, uh, with a bow.

AA: >:?

DD: i mean if twirling is not your thing i am sure we can find you something else its not like the style i like for myself is what everyone else likes to wear

ID: we'll find a style all your own sips!

DD: yes exactly!! 😄 ❤

AA: hahaha. >:}

AA: well, y, as long as we find one forn hads too. AA: did you know he's got fluff down to his glutes??

SA: oh, yes.

DD: yes i saw earlier when we were doing selfies and i think you said that you are the one that brushed it and i wanted to say that you did a very good job and it looked very beautiful!

ID: sips has a funner figure to shop for i think. we should focus on her.

SA: please, style it too.

DD: and yes we can find a style for everyone you and me and id and sa!!

ID: she's famous y'know.

SA: we could loop braids and put a bun in the back.

SA: very chic.

DD: and oh dear is she i am sorry i did not realize

SA: woodland chic, even.

ID: she needs famous fashion flair.

DD: omg!!! that sounds very fun maybe we could get some bright colors

DD: and something more flowy for id though i guess not so much that it is elven even though i admit that is the thought i had between the hair and the braids and such

ID: ...flowy.

SA: oh so.

DD: do you not like flowy we dont have to do flowy i just thought it would look nice with your hair maybe

SA: legolas.

SA: it's your favorite, Hadean.

ID: pris. D:<=

SA: alright, alright.

ID: i need stuff that won't get caught up on stuff.

DD: omg haha we can totally do something like that!!

ID: i do a lot of climbing and fighting and stuff. adventurer and all.

DD: oh that makes sense you are an adventurer after all!

DD: i suppose we will just have to see when it is time to pick out items what you like best and what matches with it !! ^_^

SA: Oh, look.

SA: I just had an extended case come up for this perigee.

SA: I'll be stuck in Provenance, I suppose.

SA: I'm very sorry.

ID: D:<= what a fucking shame.

AA: whaaaaaat.

AA: >:'{

DD: oh!! 😦 DD: that is very unfortunate but maybe we can do another time! DD: i hope it is not too much work for you i recall you mentioning you finished another case recently and really that seems like a lot of effort so i definitely wish you the best of luck in your endeavors!!

SA: ...yes.

SA: it was. exhausting.

AA: it's okay, dd, we can all totes go shopping next time in prnovidence.

AA: why, i hearn they've got the best burngerns on the entirne continent.

AA: full of, like, hoofbeast meat, and blood, and shit.

SA: ...

SA: you know what, I changed my mind.

SA: I won't take that case.

AA: >;0!

AA: dd, show me pics of yrn bow, btw.

DD: i do not think i want to eat anything that is full of feces!

AA: ..........

AA: ..........................

DD: and omg! DD: yes one moment!

AA: >:??

DD: and oh dear i am sorry i think i misunderstood the terminology that you used

ID: no actual shit in the burgers. don't worry.

DD: it is late and i am a little bit tired i am afraid!

ID: unless you go to the reaaallly cheap places.

DD sent thefluffiestbow.png

DD: but yes oh my goodness that all sounds very fun and we should totally visit sa!

SA: i believe that's beyond cheap, Hadean.

SA: no. No please don't.

DD: oh

DD: um!!! DD: sorry

SA: Providence is full of. Crime.

SA: and trafficking. yes.

DD: oh dear

SA: It would be very unsafe for Sipara or Hadean to visit.

DD: oh dear!!

ID: we're strong rusties, we'll manage.

SA: 🤦

DD: are you sure you are doing alright then sa i mean that sounds like a lot of trouble!

AA: aww, prni, therne's no need to get all concerned abt us. AA: we'rne strnong independent rnusties and we'll manage. besides, we'rne wornrnied abt Y O U.

AA: that city sounds RN O U G H.

SA: i am quite alright, thank you.

AA: also. okay. ngl. AA: that's a qt fucking bow.

ID: clearly we should go visit to give you some support!

ID: but if you're soooo concerned.

ID: we can go to the port city dd mentioned.

SA: Yes.

SA: yes let's do that.

DD: omg haha tyvm aa i am very happy you think so!

DD: and oh dear maybe it would be good to go to the city! DD: sa sounds like they maybe dont want to be in their city all that very much and it would be a good chance for them to get out!

SA: no, I rather like my city, thank you.

ID: i haven't seen the ocean in like. 3 sweeps.

SA: I have a view of it from my loft.

DD: i am very confused about who wants to go to what city now!

SA: it becomes less. awestriking. when you see it every day.

ID: we're going to the port city that is actually a port. and not riddled with crime.

AA: .. idk, but you ppl sornt it out. AA: i gotta get a trnuck tmrnw, and. idk. wherne the fuck you get those.

AA: so i'm gonna go figurne that out. >:?

SA: a ... dealership?

ID: do i have to sit in the middle.

DD: i suppose id did just decide where we were going so that is that!

SA: --

SA: oh that will be. good.

AA: y, lal alrneady called windowseat, soz.

ID: gdi.

ID: i hope it's roomy. =:I

AA: i do not have sa's mad buxxx, so, like, lmfao. AA: y. let's hope. >:}

AA: crnoss yrn frnonds!!

ID: my horns are gonna scrape the top of it probably. =:'(

SA: I'd offer you all a ride but I only ride a motorcycle.

DD: oh dear that sounds uncomfortable!

DD: maybe we could go to a salon and have your horns polished if they get scraped id!

SA: I think he meant he would scrape the felt off the roof.

DD: hornicures sounds nice it has been a while since i have had one after all it is a little bit embarrassing to go into a salon with broken horns

DD: and oh well they are nice regardless!

ID: what's a hornicure.

DD: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: its when you go to a salon with your friends and you have them sand your horns and polish them and glaze them!!

DD: and sometimes you can put on really cute designs or accessories like rings and

SA: You know.

ID: hahahah sand my horns.

DD: its really very very fun!!

SA: as we do, Hadean.

ID: i had them polished like a week ago. for the first time.

DD: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DD: we are definitely getting you a hornicure!!!!!!!!!

DD: you will love it!!!!!

SA: in all seriousness, I need to go lie down again. I am rather dizzy.

ID: =:I does it hurt.

SA: i will see you all later.

DD: oh dear that sounds very alarming maybe it is because you were working so much

DD: i wish you a restful sleep please be well!

ID: ...yeah... rough night. =:I bye pris.

DD: and no they do not hurt at all! DD: it sometimes pinches your cuticles a little bit if the people doing it are not very experienced but we will go somewhere good to make sure nobody hurts you! DD: i want your first hornicure to be really really nice!

ID: uh how often do they deal with floating horns.

DD: ....

ID: perhaps i am not cut out for hornicures.

DD: probably not very often!!

DD: well they could still do your other two horns!!

DD: and i am sure doing a floating horn would be even easier since it is not that big and has no cuticles!

ID: i mean my floating horn is like. bigger than sips' horns combined.

DD: well it is not bigger than both of your other horns combined and i am sure they get plenty of customers with very large horns so it should not be a concern dont worry! ^_^

ID: i mean... i guess.

DD: really you do not need to be afraid i promise they are very relaxing and soothing and make you feel really super nice!!

ID: i mean really i'm just a lil wary of your willingness to wanna do this stuff with some rusties.

ID: we're a little. out of your lane.

DD: .... oh

DD: um!

DD: what do you mean??

ID: i mean. why do you wanna hang with us.

DD: because you guys have all been very nice and introduced me to burgers and you seem like a lot of fun!

DD: and i havent gone shopping or gotten a hornicure with some friends in ages and it seems like it would be a really nice time!

DD: and also you need more than two outfits!!!

ID: i guess that's a better reason than most have.

DD: oh dear

DD: i am sorry if i have reminded you of bad past experiences i promise i am just looking to make some new friends and you guys have seemed very friendly so far

ID: it's fine, a rust just has to be a lil wary.

ID: i mean. we're the same shade as the trolls you probably have testing your stuff. whatever that is.

DD: i understand!!! DD: at least i think i do??? DD: um! DD: i do not want to say the wrong thing!

DD: and actually there are mostly yellowbloods in the facility though there are some brown and maroonbloods around and some olives and there is even one cerulean psychic roaming around!!! DD: or maybe two DD: um i admittedly cannot really tell if there is one or just two that look very similar it has been very confusing

ID: pfff you must mean gliese.

ID: and... not-gliese.

DD: oh does that mean there are two??

DD: that is a relief to know i was beginning to think that i was going to talk about them at one point and get it wrong

ID: yeah there's two, dw.

ID: but yeah. facility stuff can make some of us rusties a little wary.

DD: well if it makes you feel any better i am not working for them they have just volunteered to allow me to offer to their participants who would like to try out some of my new prototypes that are in the troll trials stage!

DD: they are all very safe and such the only issues are with connection speed

DD: and integration capacity!

ID: if you say so. i have no idea what that stuff means.

DD: it mostly means that when things go wrong it just makes people feel like things are going really slow or not all the way until they disconnect!

DD: but i cant really go into more detail than that

DD: because it is technically still in beta!

ID: ...that does not really clear up the confusion but okay.

DD: but yes i am not fleet i am a member of a private organization and i do not think i am actually old enough to work for the empire

ID: man now they're drafting young seadwellers.

ID: does no wriggler get a break these days.

ID: what happened to leaving a troll be until they hit ascension.

DD: wait what

DD: are you being sarcastic or did you misread what i wrote?

DD: i am having a hard time telling over the internet!

ID: that's my charm dd, i'm sarcastic and truthful at the same time.

DD: !!!!

ID: mostly truthful-y rn tho.

DD: that sounds like a very confusing sort of charm!

ID: you get used to it.

DD: but yes i suppose then i should clarify that i said that i am not conscripted at all!

DD: and am likely too young to be so

ID: but you're... working for a company that works for the fleet?

DD: in fact my best friend and i have started our own company and it has grown to quite a large size!! DD: the fleet has actually purchased a contract with us recently

ID: looks like some hazy ass lines right there.

DD: oh no we are working with the fleet and it is our honor to due so but it is our own startup and it is contract-based product supply!

DD: i do not work with the fleet directly even the pr things are mostly my good friends strong suit i am mostly research and development

ID: if you say so. seems like a confusing mess to me.

DD: well!!

ID: but i'm not a. researcher.

DD: there is working for somebody as in you are hired buy them

DD: and then there is them coming into your restaurant to buy a meal

DD: in the latter situation you are not working for them they are simply making a purchase!

DD: that is what we are like!!

ID: oh. okay.

ID: i guess you must be good, if they're buying from you and not like. an adult.

DD: i try to be humble most times but it is true that we are very very good!! DD: though i muse credit my good friend with a lot of it because admittedly the product does not make the company and there are plenty of fabulous inventors around that have gotten nowhere so it is their talent at management that has gotten us this far

ID: sounds like a complicated balance of you making good stuff and then being able to sell it well.

DD: yes exactly!!!

II: Management does tend to factor more into successfully selling products than pure talent, I'm afraid.

DD: it has probably been obvious as of late but i am not the best people person so i am very grateful to my friend for putting up with some of my silliness in the past and handling the business side of things

II: Not that I am doubting DD, but unfortunately surface appearances are usually what trolls consider when buying.

DD: i do not think i would have even thought to sell any of my work without them!

II: Oh, don't be so hard on yourself, DD.

II: You are perfectly pleasant

II: Merely a bit unpolished

DD: oh well i am very glad that you think so haha i am glad that i have not misstepped too much yet

II: DD, trust me.

DD: and that is one way of putting it!! DD: but hopefully i will be able to polish myself more soon and maybe the first step is going to get our horns polished id >:D

II: I have moved in highblood circles since I was a very young troll, and have observed _far_ greater errors than any you've made.

ID: maybe you two should go on a. hornicure trip.

DD: but we are already going on one together!! DD: you do not need to have them that often but maybe some time later ii and i can besides we are already going to a restaurant in civitrecce ^_^

II: We can certainly go for a hornicure trip afterward, if it wouldn't be too much time out of your schedule!

ID: i mean me and sips are traveling rn, we won't be back in port port for a while.

DD: well yes and i would love to but it would be pointless since id and i are already getting our horns done but maybe we can do a movie or our claws instead or something??

DD: and that is okay id i am not free at this exact moment anyways and admittedly i do not actually know when people want to hang out

DD: i was hoping it is kind of soon so that i could have my first burger with you guys but i suspect that i may have to break and go eat before then!!

ID: yeah def go eat.

ID: try some chicken tho.

ID: and rice.

ID: chicken and rice are good together.

DD: okay! I have had rice with fish so hopefully rice with chicken is just as good!

DD: speaking of which i should probably go do that right now to be honest my stomach is positively hurting now that i pay attention to it and i have had nothing but trollbucks all night!

DD: ...day!

DD: hopefully there are places open this late!

ID: you'll find something i'm sure. g'day.

DD: good day!!!! ❤ i am very excited to go shopping with you!

#c:dazzle #c:merlon #c:prisma #c:sipara #c:hadean

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Jan. 1, 2020: Columns

Resolutions are like sobriety, kept one day at a time...

By KEN WELBORN

Record Publisher

What exactly is a New Year or New Year's Resolution?

The most accepted definition I could find is basically a promise you make to yourself to start doing something good or stop doing something bad on the first day of the year. An example which would apply to many is, “I am going to eat healthier and give up smoking.”

Each year I, like so many other folks, think about making New Year Resolutions. Sometimes I quickly ignore the subject completely, sometimes I think about it, and, albeit rarely, I write some down. My track record on keeping the resolutions once made, however, is less than spotty. In fact, it is downright terrible.

And therefore depressing.

So, now that I am officially old and set in my ways, perhaps this year is the one where I will write down and maybe even follow up on some resolutions I have found for someone just like me—a person who has taken being a somewhat loveable, but altogether worthless slug—to an art form.

What follows are a series of resolutions that even I should be able to live with.

*Get out of bed without being hooked up to a coffee IV. I resolve to do this at least once a quarter to improve the quality of my life and for my sanity and general mental health.

*As a tie-in to the above, I resolve to take longer naps. The logic of this being that if a 15 minute nap is good, just imagine what a couple of hours of deep sleep and snoring can do for you right smack in the middle of the day.

*Eat better, which, for me, means to pay attention to my health guru, Carl White. Carl, who produces the Life in the Carolinas syndicated television show, is an amazing source of dietetic information, and puts things simply, so someone like me who is woefully ignorant of food facts can readily keep up.

*Take up a new hobby. However, only resolve to do it once—anything else is a bonus.

*Hang up my clothes. No actually. Let's forget that one.

*Get a haircut. Nah, drop that one too.

*Take my wonderful dog, Angel, for longer and longer walks as I become able.

* Cook a meal for others. With the exception of the amazing Ikey Eller barbequed chicken, this resolution is guaranteed to be a one time deal if they try to eat it. As they say, I can't even boil water without scorching it.

*Read more. Now this one I don't mind doing, if the book has real paper pages and at least two thirds of them are old Lewis Grizzard column collections. That guy was amazing, and the hero of any southern man who fancies himself a columnist.

*Take the stairs instead of the elevator—at least most of the time.

*I will stop being a procrastinator. That is, of course (and you knew this one was coming), if I can get around to it (particularly when it comes to my “Deadline Poet” ways of waiting until press days to write my column).

*Have Ellen Shepherd at the Coffee House on 421 make more carrot cakes.

*Eat more of those wonderful pub chips at The Dispensary.

*Forgive. **I am still struggling with the forget part.

*Drink no alcohol. Now, this one I have nailed for lo these 41 years—TODAY!! And, if I keep this resolution, there is a much better chance for the rest of them.

I am truly fortunate to have among my friends many readers I have never met but who help bring joy to my life. I cannot even imagine what it would be like without you cheering me on.

To everyone, have a great New Year and let it be the start of a blessed year for everyone.

Thank you.

Resolute in History, and Into the Future

By HEATHER DEAN

Record Reporter

As everyone moves into another year, with more self promises of living better that have no intentions of being kept, I personally find myself reflecting on my journeys in life that have brought me to this moment, and specifically the of women before me.

For instance:

The year 2020 is an election year, but more importantly it will be 100 years since the suffragettes won an historic legal battle, and received the right to vote. While it still took decades to make sure this was a fair process for all women legally, it was seen as a huge step to equality among the sexes. If only they knew women after them would be fighting the next hundred years to keep making those strides...

I was fortunate enough to be raised by strong, tenacious, women on both sides and later in the century, so many of the below I’ve never personally encountered, but the history that has been made in my lifetime is amazing to me. Some of the most basic things women were not allowed to do.

Get a credit card:

Until 1974, banks and credit card companies could refuse credit cards to single women and could require married women to get the cards in their husbands' names.

Get an Ivy League Education

Harvard didn't admit women until 1977. Yale and Princeton only admitted their first women undergrads in 1969. However, to its credit, Cornell started admitting women way back in 1870

Legally use contraceptives with your husband in every state.

Only in 1965 did the Supreme Court make it illegal for states to ban married people from using contraceptives.

Keep your job while pregnant.

Laying off women employees who became pregnant wasn't illegal in the U.S. until 1978.

Seek legal redress if you were sexually harassed on the job.

U.S. courts only recognized workplace sexual harassment as an offense in 1977.

Attend military academy.

Women couldn't attend any U.S. military academy until 1976, when the women were admitted. In 2015, 16 percent of the graduating West Point class was made up of women.

Refuse to have sex with your husband.

Until the 1970s, marital rape wasn't illegal. Rape was defined in all US states as follows: "a male who has sexual intercourse with a female not his wife is guilty of rape if..."

Get the contraceptive pill easily.

Oral contraceptives were only approved by the FDA in 1960, and weren't widely prescribed by doctors for several more years.

Serve on a jury.

It wasn't until 1973 that women could serve on juries in all 50 states.

Practice law.

Until 1971, women could be denied the right to practice law, even if they were qualified as lawyers, purely because they were women. Barring women from practicing law was only prohibited in the U.S. in 1971. We would have been watching Judge Johnny instead of Judy had this not been overturned.

Get divorced easily.

Before the 1969 No Fault Divorce law, divorce could only be obtained if you proved your spouse had committed serious faults.

Divorce her husband for beating her.

Domestic violence wasn't considered grounds for divorce in many U.S. states in 1960. It only became grounds for divorce in New York in 1966, and the wife needed to prove that a "sufficient" number of beatings had occurred.

Serve in combat.

Female military recruits couldn't serve in active combat roles until 2013.

Live with their boyfriend anywhere in the U.S.

Incredibly, in 2013 living together before marriage was still illegal in four U.S. states. In 2011 several Florida couples were even charged with misdemeanors under the state's anti-cohabitation law. Those laws are still on the books in North Carolina, but not enforced.

Get a mortgage.

A married woman would likely have to get her husband's signature in order to get a mortgage. This was especially a problem for unmarried women, even through the1980’s.

Have paid maternity leave.

The U.S. is the only developed country that doesn't require employers to provide some period of paid leave when a woman has a baby.

Become a Supreme Court Justice.

There wasn't a law stopping women from serving on the Supreme Court, but no women were appointed until Sandra Day O'Connor in 1981. As of 2015, there are three women out of the nine SCOTUS judges. (Can you imagine life without RBG?)

Become an astronaut.

"We have no existing program concerning women astronauts nor do we contemplate any such plan," NASA told one young woman in 1962. They first admitted women as astronaut candidates in 1978, including Sally Ride, who went on to become the first American woman in space.

Get a job without being rejected simply for being female.

Until the Civil Rights Act of 1964, it was perfectly legal to discriminate against women on the grounds of your gender when you were considering whom to hire or promote.

Ski jump at the Olympics.

Women couldn't enter any Olympic ski jumping events until the 2014 Sochi Olympics.

Marry another woman.

The U.S. movement to gain civil marriage rights for same-sex couples began in the 70’s, but it wasn't legal anywhere until 2004, when Massachusetts became the first state to allow it. As of 2015, same-sex marriage is legal in 36 U.S. states. Of course, this legal barrier applied to men just as much as women.

Officially enter the Boston Marathon.

The Boston Marathon wasn't open to women runners until 1972.

Become presidential nominee for a major political party.

Hillary Clinton was the first woman ever to receive a major party nomination in 2016. Before that, women had run for president, but they stood no chance because they weren't major-party nominees. Victoria Claflin Woodhull was the very first female candidate for president all the way back in 1872.

Get a legal abortion

The first state to allow legal abortions was Colorado in 1967. Roe vs. Wade made terminations legal nationally in 1973.

The sad part is many women around the world are still fighting for some of the most basic human rights. We are so fortunate to live in a free republic, and I admonish all to spread kindness and equality relentlessly in this upcoming year, regardless of what resolutions get left behind.

Peace through Strength

By AMBASSADOR EARL COX and KATHLEEN COX

Special to The Record

For those who may be anxious or fearful concerning affairs in the Middle East, this article will not put you at ease. It’s meant to serve as a wake-up call for all who do not believe we could be in the pre-dawn stages of a major confrontation with Iran and other rogue regimes who have their sights set on destroying Israel and the United States.

U.S. military foes Iran, Russia and China, have just concluded joint naval war games in the Indian Ocean and the Gulf of Oman. Russia’s warships were deployed from its fleet based in Syria. For Iran, this is a plus on many levels but, most importantly, it shows the world that Iran is not isolated, that she has powerful alliances, and that U.S. sanctions may not be working as well as anticipated. China has declared that these exercises are designed to “deepen exchange and cooperation” with and between Iran and Russia. The Gulf of Oman is strategically important because it connects the Arabian Sea with the Strait of Hormuz through which a significant portion of the world’s oil supply must pass to reach its destinations.

Back in September, it is believed that Iran was responsible for the cruise missile and drone attacks on oil fields and oil plants in Saudi Arabia. With no reply and no retaliation from the Arab or Western worlds, Iran has become emboldened to continue its aggressive behavior. Israel, on the other hand, has met force with force proving she is the only country in the world standing up to Iran and preparing for what could evolve. Israel’s enemies know she is strong and ready.

A few days ago on Dec. 27, 2019, Israel Defense Forces’ Chief of Staff Lt. Gen. Aviv Kochavi, underlined this same sobering fact – that Israel alone is fighting Iran. Israel has never been under any illusion about Iran’s intentions and with good reason. Iran has repeatedly declared their intentions to wipe Israel off the face of the globe even going so far as to paint a simple and clear message on the side of their missiles, “Death to Israel,” and also, “Death to America.” With Iran’s self-confidence growing by the minute, Israel is busy preparing militarily and psychology, overtly and covertly, 24/7. Any future war, Kochavi warned, will mean taking the fight to urban areas. Israel’s military leadership is determined to stay ahead of all threats and to emerge the victor from any attack. It's no secret that Israel has powerful weapons, superior technological advancements, and well-trained forces and her enemies know she is prepared to use them decisively yet responsibly. Under no circumstances will Israel allow Iran to build up its arsenal of nuclear or conventional weapons which it is working overtime at doing and attempting to smuggle them into Syria and Iraq. Furthermore, with no real resistance from the West, Iran is also working at enhancing and expanding their nuclear capabilities. While the Western world seems to be holding still, the IDF (Israel Defense Force) has been busy day and night developing techniques and strategies for winning, under any circumstance, against their aggressors. Israel’s enemies are in an arms race seeking to acquire precision missiles. “While Israel will always operate on the principle that war is a last resort, when diplomatic efforts fail and limited operations don’t succeed, war is a solution,” said Kochavi.

By standing with Israel, the United States is standing in its own self-defense. If Israel fails to act against Iran’s weapons build-up and their growing nuclear capabilities, the weapons will remain, and their nuclear capacity will expand. With China and Russia cuddling up in Iran’s corner, we must face reality. Until the Messiah comes, peace comes only through strength. Israel has proven herself. Iran is now testing our mettle.

An Irish Tale

By CARL WHITE

Life in the Carolinas

Katie, who works at the post office asked what I was working on this week. I replied, “a few things are on the schedule but the first is a story about the Irish heritage in the Carolinas.” to which she quickly replied. “I’m part Irish.”

Katie went on to tell me about her family that settled in Pennsylvania. Her great grandmother did not want her sons working in the coal mines. Her husband was no longer in the picture, so she planned a move to Detroit, Mich., where safer employment was available. This would prove to be a good move for the family. As time passed, she sponsored and helped other families make the same move. The positive impact of lives saved is countless.

The Scots-Irish influence in the Carolinas is profound. It is reported that in the 18th century as many as 250,000 Europeans sailed to America. Some would become indentured servants as they did not have the funds to pay for the voyage. Unfortunately, for many the life of an indentured servant was little more than slavery.

Settling in the eastern part of the Carolinas was not an option for large numbers and for this reason many settled in the back country of the Carolinas. The feel of the land was not unlike that of their homeland.

Many were craftsman such as spinners and weavers. They worked hard and cared for the land. The making of whiskey was skilled and would not be uncommon.

Mecklenburg County would also become home to many Scots-Irish. So many, in fact, that in 1775, when the Mecklenburg Declaration of Independence was signed almost all the signers were Scots-Irish.

It was the fighting tenacity of the Scottish and Irish immigrants that fueled the victory at the Battle of Kings Mountain, which was a turning point in what would become American Independence.

United States President Andrew Jackson was born in the Carolinas with Scots-Irish parents and so was U.S. Vice President John C. Calhoun from Abbeville, S.C.

The folk traditions and culture of the Irish and Scottish will forever influence who we are in the Carolinas. Many of us are aware of our connection and many are discovering via DNA tests that tell us where we come from.

I always feel a closeness to the people when I attend the Grandfather Mountain Highland Games. The gathering of the clans is a gathering of families with common interests and pride in their heritage. It happens every year with no regard to weather or anything else. The people make a way to come together. Maybe that’s a good lesson for all of us.

What would happen if we all started to come together more often and celebrate just being together?

Maybe that small or large piece of Irish or Scottish DNA will give us the will to fight against the obstacles that keep us apart. And just maybe we can defeat the problems of life, or at least sleep a little better knowing that another kinsman has our back.

Carl White is the Executive Producer and Host of the award-winning syndicated TV show Carl White’s Life In The Carolinas. The weekly show is now in its 10th year of syndication and can be seen in the Charlotte market on WJZY Fox 46 Saturday’s at noon and My 12. The show also streams on Amazon Prime. For more information visit www.lifeinthecarolinas.com. You can email Carl at [email protected].

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rebeccabrynposts · 7 years ago

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Splattering Richard over my Laptop. – the secrets of award-winning author, Sarah Stuart.

So who is Sarah Stuart? I mean, who is she really? Who is the very private woman behind the pen – no, make that keyboard, please make that keyboard: Sarah’s writing is totally illegible to everyone except me, and I struggle. Is this why I have her comments in bold?

‘Getting to know you, getting to know all about you…’

‘Getting to like you, getting to hope you like me.’

‘Quiet, Sarah. One, you can’t sing, and two, you get your fifteen minutes of fame in a minute.’ As Sarah is a lover of musical theatre, and the theatrical world is the backdrop to Sarah’s amazing Royal Command series of novels, that song seems like a suitable place to begin and, as I’ve known Sarah for more years than either of us will admit to, who better to ask her those difficult, probing, embarrassing questions? (Cue evil laughter from stage right.)

‘I’m leaving right now! You’ve invited the Wicked Witch of the West.’

‘I am the Wicked Witch of the West. Sarah, you’ve been writing since you were a child. What and who would you say were your greatest childhood influences and why?’

‘My father worked appallingly long hours, and when he was home he was gardening or building excessively heavy furniture. My mother was never in good health. So, the short answer is loneliness. My make-believe world was more real than reality. It wasn’t as black as that. My father loved opera, and he could sing, and my mother thought of chapters from Charles Dickens as suitable bedtime stories. She also had touching faith in my ability to write. On day, my prince… my bestseller would come.’

‘Your books have enough awards for that to become a reality. All you need is exposure.’

‘Can’t I get arrested for exposing myself to the Wicked Witch of the West and all the people who happen by?’

‘Only if you have a raincoat.’

‘Of course, I have a raincoat. I live in England!’

‘You should try living in Wales! I’ve always admired your courage and determination through adversity, Sarah. Would you like to tell us about some of the things in life you’ve had to overcome? Those you can tell us about, that is.

‘Him Indoors made one of his many career moves some years ago, dragging me, and my dog, away from our new interest, dog obedience training. My Border Collie, Sweep, was gleeful. He was a good boy. Yes, after two years hard work, he was so much improved I had my eye on entering obedience competitions. Not to worry, Him Indoors declared, there’s an obedience club right here. Sweep and I joined, and I got co-opted onto the committee. At the second monthly meeting, the trainer announced she was moving, like now, so who would take over? I could write a book about the excuses why nobody was able… they weren’t able, and their dogs proved it… their work was seasonal, so they had no time from January to May… I volunteered; only fifteen people turned up on a good night, and Sweep needed to practice working with other dogs around. Fifteen people? There were forty members, all with more than one dog, and they’d all turned out to watch their new trainer make a fool of herself.

‘Children brought up alone tend to be self-contained almost to the point of shyness, and very self-reliant. I was no exception, and all I knew about teaching other people to train dogs was what I’d learned from watching at my first club where the trainer worked her own dogs at Crufts level. Helpppppppp… run… No way! I pretended to be that trainer, and six months later I realised I was no longer acting; I’d learned a lot from her, and I had a talent for teaching.’

‘Do you think these experiences, and the way you dealt with them, have translated into your writing? Can you give us an example?’

‘I hadn’t thought about it until now, but a lot of my characters’ problems stem from their determination not to ask for help, or a lack of communication. Take Dangerous Liaisons… if you haven’t read it, do take it while it’s free. If Lizzie and Michael had talked, she’d have known he wanted children… He’d have known she valued his company over wealth, and not set out to prove he could succeed without help… The root of the whole series is a failure to interconnect. I could give dozens more examples from book one alone, but I’d spoil the story for new readers and have existing ones commenting that they could have told me that!’

‘Are you sure you’re the Wicked Witch of the West or a guide who demonstrates instruments of torture like the Iron Maiden and the Rack to visitors at the Tower of London?’

‘My secret is out! I love torturing the truth out of people and finding out what makes them thick… I mean tick. (Freudian fingers) The Royal Command series has been through many drafts and rewrites over the years to reach its present polished state. It takes determination and commitment to stick to a project long term. What, or who, kept you going throughout all the changes?’

‘Michael. He was never intended to be the lead character. Lizzie was my heroine, the story was hers and it was to be pure romance with a happy ending, not the start of Michael’s life story, but he gets inside my head and starts talking, and they say only women nag!’

‘I find the historical thread that runs through this series really interesting. Why did you choose this period in history to explore?’

‘The Tudors are popular and reasonably well known, but very little fiction has been written about Henry VIII’s elder sister, Margaret. Princesses were pawns in the political marriage game, so she was married young to James IV of Scotland. It is commonly regarded as a happy marriage, but why when the only evidence is the births of six children? The king had mistresses, but he needed an heir. What interested me was the gap between their firstborn boy, who died, and the second. The truth is very likely a miscarriage, but…’

‘Quite. An illegitimate child, a treason punishable by death when you’re the wife of a reigning monarch, makes a better story. You’ve dealt very cleverly with some pretty taboo subjects in The Diamond Superstar, Michael Marsh’s, ‘unconventional’ showbiz family. Did you intend to write about incest, sexual perversions, and child sex-trafficking or did the characters behave recklessly, as usual, and take you by surprise?’

‘Incest took me by surprise, though it shouldn’t have given the way Lisette was brought up, rarely seeing the superstar father she adored, combined with the dangerous romantic command in the Book of Hours to “find love where ye may”. The result, Harriet, caused problems with the end of my “one book”, Dangerous Liaisons, and led directly to Illicit Passion; there was no way there could be a long-term happy ending for either of The Diamond Superstar or Lisette, though they appear to achieve it in the sequel when the evil, perverted, “bodyguard” drowns. I did have a hand in book three by planting the grounding. Bodyguards working for that company worked in pairs, which left one of them, cheated of his money to “turn-a-blind-eye”, on the loose and, apparently, intent of revenge. Nothing so simple, as I discovered when Brian left his wife, pregnant Lisette, and flew to New York.

‘Sex-trafficking was added deliberately. I investigated it while I was recovering from researching Evie’s troubles, and the ease with which such men could trap youngsters had to be revealed, and Michael’s youngest daughter, Greta, was a prime target.’

‘I love all the books in the Royal Command series but I found the latest, Sweet Temptation, particularly fascinating. The courage you show in reliving the nightmare of your weeks in a coma and the subsequent recovery astounds me. You have given us a rare glimpse of what it must have been like and it’s terrifying. Do you think you took research for Evie’s character a step too far? Or was it just a ploy to get out of cooking Christmas dinner?’

‘I detest cooking, and Christmas dinner is definitely one of the most demanding meals of the year. (The others are dinner parties where I know at least one of the guests is a superb cook.) Now, let’s be clear on this: I didn’t catch pneumonia, and a very fancy sort at that, on purpose. The puzzle is from whom I caught it. I didn’t date a strange man as per Evie! I have a perfectly good chap at home. I enjoyed writing a lot of Sweet Temptation, but I found Evie’s hospital POVs extremely tough to write. My nightmares were adapted to her life but thinking about them made me feel ill, and I started suffering nightmares again for a while. The worst aren’t in the book, and they were truly horrible.’

‘I did say I’ve always admired your courage in adversity and this illustrates it. Tell, me, Sarah, when writing, are you a plotter, or a pantster: do you have a plot chart or do you dive in and see where your characters take you?’

‘I used to have plots, but what’s the point when none of the characters stick to them? Michael was in a coma in Illicit Passion, since edited now I know what it’s like, and I cried buckets because I was afraid he was going to die.’

‘So was I! But you are giving away your plots. Now, what next? Um, what is the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you? The truth now, Sarah.’

‘According to Him Indoors, I should have been embarrassed by a neighbour who asked if I minded her husband stepping over the fence to clear weeds that were seeding over their garden. Until he explained, I took her at her word and said he was very welcome.’

Excuse me while I choke with laughter. ‘That is so typical of you!’

‘True, and he ignored my generous permission!’

‘How very annoying of him. Since gardening obviously isn’t a passion of yours, what are your passions? What gives you the greatest joy and what really makes you spit?’

‘I have spent my life writing, one way or another, and I thought the greatest joy was knowing somebody was reading what I’d written. I ran a dog-training club and submitted articles to the members’ magazine. Ditto, a glossy called Wildlife with a worldwide circulation and they were published. I wrote stories with adult content in simple words for my literacy students. I published my first novel, and sales, and especially reviews, showed people had read and enjoyed it, and the same happened with subsequent books. The biggest thrill of all was when Dangerous Liaisons won the Romance/Sizzle bronze medal in the Readers’ Favorite Contest and made me an award-winning author.

‘A lot of things make me angry: injustice; mismanagement, self-seeking and stupidity by people elected to govern, political correctness – I almost fell down a manhole without a cover this afternoon, only to be informed it was now an inspection chamber – greed, theft… the list is endless and very non-PC. What really makes me spit with fury is mans’ inhumanity to animals. They ruin their habitats, throw them out because they’re no longer fashionable, and worst of all, they kill them for fun. It’s called sport, but terrified, exhausted animals don’t see it that way. 100% of my royalties go to animal charities, and a good many of the dogs I’ve owned, and do own, are rescues.’

‘I’m with you there, Sarah. Some of my royalties from ‘Touching the Wire’ go to support holocaust education. It seems the least I can do after the research I did opened my eyes to what happened. And I think rescue dogs are so rewarding. Our little mongrel is such a happy little soul and makes us smile every day. Dogs don’t deserve bad homes any more than children do. I know you’ve fostered children in the past, amongst the many selfless things you’ve done, but tell us one thing about yourself no-one else knows, not even me.

‘Films that feature the evacuation of Dunkirk make me cry inside, and so does the ferryboat across the Mersey from Liverpool to Birkenhead that has a plaque let into the deck saying she took part. Maybe it’s the reason my characters “sniff back tears”; I know it’s possible.’

‘Having written about World War II, I understand the terrible hardships and tragedy that led to Dunkirk, so I know what you mean. My present work-in-progress, working title, The Dandelion Clock’, is about The Great War. Can you tell us a bit about the next novel waiting to explode from beneath your fevered brow and splatter all over your laptop?’

‘Did you have to say splatter and remind me I killed my last laptop with tea? Chapter one is entitled Monday, Monday, and as you know “you can’t trust that day.” Richard has a Jack Russell terrier called Ben, and he believes ill-fortune comes in threes. One of the women in his life is about to prove him wrong.’

‘We’ll see a bit of the first draft of ‘Monday, Monday’ in a minute. (That’s the working title, by the way, until Sarah knows what Richard will get up to aided and abetted by his scribe.)

‘Oye! This is too much! I’ve been Michael’s ’umble scribe for years. Richard will do as he’s told… or he might if I had a plot. How do I know where his rebellion will end?’

‘Indeed. Thank you, Sarah, for ‘A Conversation with, dare I say, Richard’s scribe.’ (Ducks for cover.) – Now to a special offer, your book links, a bonus gift, and lastly, a splattering of Richard…’ It’s an interesting beginning to a new story , and I’m looking forward toreading more.

And NOW is your chance to grab the whole series while it’s on offer!

Book 1 is FREE for a limited period from today.

Books 2, 3, and 4 are 99p/99c from today until November 1st

Dangerous Liaisons: The Backstreet Boy and the Royal Heiress

viewbook.at/DangerousLiaisons

Illicit Passion: The Consequences of Seduction

viewbook.at/ILLICITPASSION

Dynasty of Deceit: Margaret Tudor’s Legacy of Forbidden Love

viewBook.at/DynastyofDeceit

Sweet Temptation: The Agony and the Ecstasy of Passion

viewbook.at/SweetTemptation

As an extra, Sarah has published this short story, Greta Comes of Age, absolutely FREE for you to download here: http://www.independentauthornetwork.com/sarah-stuart.html

And, finally…

Monday, Monday. (You definitely can’t trust that day, Richard. Be warned, Sarah has awful things lined up for you. Are you going to let her get away with it?)

Monday, Monday

Richard Carpenter threw a punch at the figure silhouetted against the faint light from his open front door and heard the satisfying crunch of breaking bone. His new eighty-five-inch Sony television landed on his foot, and he bit back a howl of pain. He was entitled to protect his property if he used reasonable force… Sensible respected bank managers didn’t make headlines in the local rag by using rusty boxing skills on burglars. They “stayed asleep” and telephoned the police in the morning.

Undeterred, the thief dodged around him and started dropping Royal Doulton figurines into something. Sack, rucksack… it made no difference; the dogs would have chipped ears at the very least. His dog, Ben, was hurling his weight impotently at the kitchen door. He grabbed the man by the back of his collar, bundled him onto the pavement, and bolted the front door. If he’d shot the bolts like he usually did at night, picking the lock would have done the scum no good.

Lights on, he surveyed the mess. One television with a cracked screen and an empty mantelshelf where his china collection had overflowed the cabinet. Ten thousand pounds should cover it and he could claim on his insurance… and risk prosecution for injuries a magistrate might not regard as reasonable force? He and Ben retired upstairs with a large brandy and a chew designed for a St Bernard that the Jack Russell was, in his dreams.

The second Monday in October dawned three hours later. He let himself out of the back door, drove cautiously into the centre of town, acutely aware he was over the alcohol limit, and met his undermanager as usual. Andy went to make coffee, and he switched on the fax machine. The first sheet of paper it spat at him caused him to step back on Ben’s tail.

It is with regret that we inform you that the Hackmoor Bridge branch of this bank is closed as of today. Redundancy notices for all members of staff will follow together with information on payments due to each.

He tucked indignant Ben under his arm and read it a second time. He’d known for months that this branch was on the list of two hundred possible closures, but he hadn’t expected it to happen. Hackmoor Bridge was a large, thriving, town, and his was the only branch anywhere within a thirty-mile radius. Andy, married with a young family, would be distraught. All the staff would be. None of them would be relocated to another branch; short of somebody dropping dead, there were no vacancies. Applications for jobs at other banks were unlikely to be successful. If they were it would very likely mean a move, and his three female cashiers were married with husbands still in work locally.

All members of staff. Ben licked his ear, reminding him that he too was jobless. The pair of them could end homeless. The plus was having no mortgage and a new BMW he’d paid for outright thanks to money left to him by his mother, and he’d been spending ever since. He had some savings, and severance pay to come… and it would go on utility bills and food. How could he tell Bridget the wedding was indefinitely postponed? Her parents were dead too, so the expense of the grand affair she had planned were down to him. As if she’d picked up his gloomy thoughts, his mobile vibrated: Bridget. ‘Hi, love, I need to talk to you.’

Bridget didn’t ask about what. ‘Richard, remember that London modelling agency I applied to?’

He did, but Bridget had been for an interview weeks ago and come back depressed. ‘What about it?’

‘I’ve been accepted.’ Her voice sounded muffled. ‘They want me today, so I’m packing and going straight to the station.’

‘But…’

‘Ouch, broke a nail, damn it. Richard, the wedding’s off… for good. Models don’t get work living in the wilds, or pregnant. Bye.’

They hadn’t even discussed having a family… He called Bridget back and got her answering service. A burglar, no job, and no wife-to-be.

‘Things happen in threes, Ben. Basket.’

The Jack Russell hated to be still and ignored, but after today he’d get extra walks because renewing his golf-club membership was a no. His whole lifestyle would change; he’d have to cook from scratch, not live on ready-to-microwave luxury dinners, and Ben must be satisfied with own-brand chews from the supermarket, not the big ones he ordered online for the stray he’d adopted and promised the world.

~~~

Richard envied Ben. He’d picked up the gloom at the bank, information and instructions faxed by faceless men in secure jobs at head office, but it didn’t stop him gobbling his dinner and looking for more. For once, the dog could have more; he couldn’t face his food. Memo to self: check how quickly he could cancel monthly deliveries, and not just of meals for him and dog chews. He could save on boxes of a dozen choice wines, financial magazines, golfing glossies, and he could live without tempting offers on china figurines dropping into his email inbox too.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow he would do all that, and check the insurance covered the deposit he’d paid to secure the wedding venue, the caterers, the drinks supplier, and the florist booked to provide out-of-season flowers. Christmas weddings, he’d discovered, were popular, and everything had to be reserved months in advance. Should he consider himself lucky Bridget had ditched him? She had expensive tastes her handmade lace products didn’t support… and some nights she’d warmed his bed with her beautiful body. Would she have moved in if he hadn’t paid the rent on her flat? Had she loved him? She’d dumped him without a second thought when fame and fortune beckoned. Second memo to self: cancel the direct debit for Bridget’s rent.

He grabbed a bottle of brandy and one of the remaining St Bernhard-sized chews. ‘Come on, Ben. You’re sleeping with me. The central heating is off until I get another job.’

Ben bounced up the stairs ahead of him. Dogs didn’t worry about the future, and they didn’t stop loving you either.

Two glasses of brandy later, he decided getting drunk wasn’t the answer; all it would do was give him a hangover, but it had numbed the edge of misery a bit. He lay down with Ben curled behind his bent knees and closed his eyes. Tomorrow… tomorrow… Maybe the sun would come out tomorrow and maybe it wouldn’t, but a man who was no longer a respectable bank manager could strum his guitar in the town square if he felt like it…

The ringing of his front door bell set Ben yapping and triggered a thumping headache. Who the dickens wanted Richard Carpenter at… He squinted at the luminous dial on his alarm clock: twenty minutes to midnight. He got out of bed and found his slippers by the light of the brilliant harvest moon. It was late for Mrs Stokes who lived next door to arrive home, but it must be her; he held her spare door key.

His visitor was his thirteen-years-ex-wife, Naomi, and she looked spiteful, the way she had when his divorce lawyer had reminded her legal representative that she’d signed a prenuptial agreement and couldn’t claim half his worldly goods.

Waking Mrs Stokes with a row on the doorstep just before midnight was unfair. ‘Come in, Naomi.’

‘No chance, Richard. I only rang the bell to make sure you still lived here.’

‘Eh! Why?’

She ran back to the sports coupé gleaming under a street lamp, lifted the boot lid, and dumped a suitcase on the pavement.

He raised his voice. ‘What the dickens are you doing?’

Naomi paid him no attention, and he wasn’t going outside in his pyjamas. She was wearing a fur coat and the suitcase very likely had wheels. What could she have put in a suitcase that she wanted him to have?

Next, Naomi opened the passenger door. ‘Out, Maria, and take that bloody basket with you.’

Cold or not, he wanted answers. It was still Monday, and he’d had his days-worth of problems. He marched towards Naomi. ‘Who is Maria?’

‘Your daughter, Richard Carpenter, and I’ve done my bit. It’s your turn.’

She swept around her car, slid behind the wheel, and gunned the engine. Brakes screeched at the end of the street and the coupé vanished.

He didn’t have a daughter. If he had, Naomi would have claimed child support… Maria was here, and he couldn’t leave a child alone on the street whoever she belonged to. He grasped the suitcase handle and waved her towards the dimly-lit hall. Ben, who’d obviously discovered how to push down the handle on his bedroom door, flew out, and stopped yapping and started sniffing when Maria placed her basket carefully on the carpet. Something in there was alive and Ben wanted it. Heaven preserve him if the child had a cat; it was one of Ben’s life ambitions to catch and kill a cat. Numerous claw scars testified to his failures.

Shivering, he went into the front room and switched on the electric fire destined to be removed and replaced by living flames created by twigs and dead branches littering the common. Maria followed and opened the basket. He grabbed Ben by the scruff of the neck and dropped him, shocked. Cuddled in a woollen blanket was a baby, and it looked very like one a member of staff on maternity leave had brought into the bank and proudly announced was only a week old.

The blanket was an uninformative yellow. ‘Whose is he, she… it, Maria?’

‘Mummy’s, like me, only she doesn’t want him. Can we call him, Tim?’

‘Timothy Carpenter.’ It had a ring to it… and no way could the boy be his.

‘Oh, great. Mummy said you had loads of bedrooms. We just need to go shopping for a cot and stuff. Tomorrow will do. There’s bottles, formula, and a heater in with my clothes.’

Tomorrow… tomorrow… It was tomorrow, but this was another Monday disaster. What he should do was call the police, who could contact the social services… But suppose Maria was his? She had his fair hair and blue eyes, and a nose that tilted at the tip like Naomi’s did. It wouldn’t be just the baby they’d take into care. He’d be condemning Maria to a children’s home or foster parents, and he’d never get her back. What the heck was he going to do?

Ben made up his mind for him. When Maria sat on the rug nursing the baby, the dog licked her cheek and looked at him with pleading eyes. The same pleading eyes that had made a fool of Richard Carpenter at the dog’s home. He hadn’t resisted them then, and he couldn’t now. He flopped on the sofa, put his aching head in his hands, and groaned.

Maria smelled faintly of Mr Burberry Black, ridiculously expensive perfume he’d bought Naomi as a wedding present, and it was Maria stroking his hair. ‘We’ll be okay, Pop, promise.’

Her body trembled. It could be cold, but it was more likely shock. How could Naomi care for a child for thirteen years and dump her on a stranger’s doorstep? She wasn’t fit to be a mother, of Maria or Timothy, but how could Mr Carpenter, ex-bank manager, soon-to-be ex-prestigious golf club member, explain the sudden acquisition of two children?

First things first. A warm bed, in a warm room, for Maria, and a well-padded drawer for Timothy, and show the girl the kitchen and make sure she really did know how to make up a bottle for a baby. He’d risk anything to keep these two, except the baby’s life.

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A conversation with... Splattering Richard over my Laptop. - the secrets of award-winning author, Sarah Stuart. So who is Sarah Stuart?

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