#i will probably do more as i both think angela is a great fit and she has soooo many great lines ok? for my horrible horrible baby

[bicon-crange]

hiiii more OC stuff get brain blasted! trying to get down a voice claim for my main evil baby.

[thrillered]

You know I Mountain Dew it for ya Pt.2 | Spencer Agnew x F!Reader |

Pt. 2: Release Day

“Okay this is ridiculous, I have nothing to wear!” You groaned, sifting through your closet. 

“You could wear anything and look good Y/N,” Angela replied, sitting cross legged on your bed, “But! If you want my advice, I think that light blue dress you have would be gorg’”

You grabbed both of her hands, “this is why I keep you around. You, my lovely Ang, are a genius.”

You grabbed the dress and a pair of white heels, walking to the bathroom and getting dressed. You touched up your makeup and stood back, looking at yourself in the mirror. The dress was form fitting, went to your mid-thigh, and had a heart shaped cut-out on your chest, revealing a modest amount of cleavage. The light blue complimented your skin and eyes, brightening your face and making you look as if you were glowing. 

You opened the bathroom door, fluffing your hair as you waited for Angela to look at you. 

“Holy Shit!” Angela screeched, seeing you all dressed up. “You look so good, Spencer’s not gonna be able to take his eyes off you!”

“Oh hush, I don’t know what you’re insinuating.” 

“There’s no insinuating anything, I heard your song, it’s 100% about him.” she continued, making note of the blush on your neck and cheeks.

“We’re gonna be late.. Why don’t we leave?” You asked, hoping to change the conversation. 

– 

Spencer stood at the bar, watching his coworkers mingle as everyone waited for you. He must have checked his watch five times in the past two minutes, beginning to worry that you weren’t going to show up. He was about to call you, clicking on your pinned messages to make the call when the crowd cheered, different voices calling your name. 

He looked up to see you greeting people near the door, giving hugs as you said your hello’s. He smiled as he watched you, happy that you came to the party. The more he looked at you the less he wanted to look away. His eyes roamed your body, taking in every inch of you. It felt like all of the air had been knocked out of him, he didn’t have the words to describe how incredible you looked. You looked like an angel, he thought, some otherworldly being made of pure beauty. 

You looked around, searching for a certain pair of green eyes. Making sure you didn’t accidentally ignore anyone you continued to greet your friends as you looked around for your best friend. Finally you found the man you were looking for, when you made eye contact with him you both smiled widely. You ran the short distance across the bar and all but jumped into his arms. 

“Hi Spencer!” You beamed, leaning back from the hug to look in his eyes, his hands sitting at your waist. “Are you excited to hear the song?”

“Incredibly so” He smiled before grabbing your hand and giving you a twirl, “You look great, this is a really good color on you.” He remarked, hoping didn’t notice his clammy hands and you couldn’t see the effect you were having on him. 

“Well aren’t you just the sweetest,” you said, flagging the bartender down to order a drink to begin the night. 

– 

The party was in full swing. You were currently nursing your second drink, feeling light and happy being around all of your favorite people. The place everyone had reserved was a karaoke bar that you all frequented. You were watching Courtney and Amanda absolutely kill their karaoke rendition of “Don’t Go Breaking my Heart”. 

When the song came to a close Courtney thanked everyone before making an announcement. “We are only two minutes away from a certain release so I want to invite Y/N up here to introduce it!.”

You blushed as you stepped up onto the small stage, taking the microphone Courtney was handing you. “Thank you guys for doing this for me, it means so much more than you know.” You began, looking out to the smiles, applause, and cheers from your friends. “This song was a lot of fun to write and it’s probably the piece I'm most proud of, it has a special place in my heart and I can’t wait for you guys to hear it… Warning though.. It’s kind of an earworm” You laughed, stepping off the stage as you watched the countdown on the screen.

“Five, four, three, two, one!” everyone chanted, quieting as the first few notes played through the speaker. 

“Now he’s, thinking ‘bout me, everynight oh, is it that sweet? I guess so. Say you can’t sleep? Baby I know, that’s that me, espresso”

Your heart was pounding as the people you admire the most listened to your song. Everyone was giving you smiles and encouragement as they danced along to the song. 

“Move it up, down, left, right oh, switch it up like nintendo” Spencer shook you a little hearing this line, his face lighting up at the mention of the gaming console. He thought it was so cool that you were mixing your passions like this. 

The song continued and you joined in on the dancing, singing along to the song. You danced with Angela and Chanse as the first verse played. You wanted to be with Spencer for a specific lyric so you slowly detached yourself from your small dance circle and squeezed your way to Spencers side.

“Walked in and dream came trued it for ya, soft skin and I perfumed it for ya.” You sang to him, feeling a bit looser after finishing your second drink. He nodded his head with the beat and gave you an impressed look, clearly enjoying the song. 

“I know I Mountain Dew it for ya.” You winked at Spencer, pulling him to dance with you, the alcohol giving you a slight boost of confidence as you continued singing to him, “That morning coffee brewed it for ya. One touch and I brand newed it for ya.”

Spencer couldn’t contain the heavy blush that stained his face and neck hearing that lyric. Was this song about him? He wondered, drawing comparison after comparison. Not that he was upset by it, it just surprised him, especially with how passionate the song is. 

He could barely keep up with his thoughts as you danced with and on him, clearly having the time of your life now that your friends were supporting you and loving the song. Your voice pulled him from his thoughts, only hearing the end of your sentence before you walked away from him. He watched as you went back to the bar and ordered a water before ordering another drink. 

He listened intently to the song, attempting to commit each lyric to memory on his first listen. The song faded out and the crowd cheered and whistled, shouting praises to you. You were beaming from ear to ear, your heart so full of love and thanks. 

“Again!” Ian shouted, you giggled as the DJ restarted the song. 

The rest of the night was incredible, you felt so much love from your friends and were so happy they all supported you so much. Your gratitude was overwhelming, beginning to manifest itself in the form of tears. The four seltzers also probably contributing to the emotional response. 

It was two a.m before the crowd started to disperse, saying their goodbyes and congratulations to you. The air of the bar had become thick with sweat and joy, making the late night feel refreshing as you stepped outside, Spencer’s arm around you as you wiped tears away from laughing. 

The last small group (Angela, Shayne, Courtney, Spencer, and yourself) said their goodbyes and headed to their rides, Shayne driving Courtney and Angela while Spencer offered to bring you home. 

You sat in Spencer's car, grateful he hadn’t drank because you loved these late night drives with him. “So did you like the song?” you asked, a shy smile playing on your lips as you looked at Spencer, the red of the stoplight illuminating his face, casting shadows from his strong nose and chin. 

“It’s awesome Y/N, you're very talented” He began, sending you a smile, “But, I tell you that all the time.”

“It's been out for four hours now, I wonder if any fans have listened to it.” You wondered aloud. 

“I’m sure they have and I'm even more sure they loved it. I think we have the hit of the summer right here.”

You giggled as he gassed you up, rounding the corner to your apartment complex. He parked the car before getting up to open your door and help you up. You weren’t necessarily drunk and could have done it by yourself, but you were feeling a bit toasty and didn’t mind being able to clutch onto Spencer as he guided you inside the building and into the elevator. 

The short ride up the elevator and walk to your door was filled with a comfortable silence as you laid your head on Spencer’s shoulder, save for Spencer quietly humming the chorus of your song. You couldn’t help but smile as you recognized the tune.

“I told you it was an earworm huh?” You asked as he ushered you into your apartment. 

“What? Oh, I mean, I don’t think I’ll be able to think about anything else for a while.”

“Maybe once you listen a few more times I can hear your rendition of it.” You laughed.

“Yeah whatever” Spencer laughed, “Let’s get you to bed, you had a big night tonight.”

“I’m not super tired” You protested, “Why don’t you stay for a little? I wanna see if anyones said anything about the song but I’m a little nervous to do it alone.” You admitted.

“Okay,” Spencer agreed, “Go get changed then and I’ll get you some water and such” 

You agreed and walked into your bedroom, shutting the door as you stepped out of your dress and heels. Looking through your drawers you grabbed a hoodie of Spencers he had left at your place around a month ago, and a pair of plaid pajama shorts. 

You exited your room to find Spencer sitting on your couch, your cat Dina cuddling up to his side. You just stared for a minute, enjoying how domestic it all felt. It felt like a daydream, releasing a great song and coming home with your wonderfully supportive boyf- best friend. Your wonderfully supportive best friend. 

You quickly ended that train of thought, instead choosing to plop next to Spencer, pulling your laptop from the coffee table into your lap. 

“Okay, let’s see the damage.” You began, clicking into twitter and typing your name into the search. In an instant hundreds of tweets popped up, all praising your music.

“Oh my god” 

“See I told you they would love it,” Spencer remarked, pulling you into his side as you sat with your mouth agape, in awe of the love your song was receiving already. 

You switched over to youtube, going to the most recent TNTL video to look at the comments. Again, almost all the comments were about you and the song. You were reading some of the comments before you stopped, seeing a comment you should have expected, but didn’t.

“Okay so Spencer and Y/N are dating right? I mean this song is totally about him” 

“They haven’t said anything publicly but they’re like the most popular ship next to Shourtney and they’ve been proven real.. So….” Someone replied.

You started to notice that there were a lot of comments about not even your song, just you and Spencer. These comments weren’t uncommon but usually only showed up in videos you were in together. The smosh fans had decided that you two were perfect soulmates. There were countless edits and videos about you two. 

Secretly you enjoyed them because while you won’t admit it to yourself, there’s a part of you, deep down, that knows you’re in love with your best friend. However, you would never do anything about it because you know Spencer doesn’t reciprocate those feelings, and there’s no way you would lose your best friend like that. But was it really that obvious? You knew your song had references to Spencer, you wrote it, but you didn't realize people would be so hung up on that. 

You closed the laptop before Spencer could read any of those comments. You knew he would see them eventually but you didn’t want to deal with it tonight, opting instead to enjoy his company. 

“You got quiet all of a sudden?” Spencer asked, noticing your withdrawal. 

“Just getting tired I think.” You said. It wasn’t a complete lie, you were getting tired and a half truth would work for now.

“Well I won’t keep you from your beauty rest.” Spencer laughed, moving his embrace to stand up. 

You didn’t want him to leave but you knew that you needed time to think. If the entire smosh fan base could read you like a book through one song you knew you needed to figure yourself out, and soon.

[cant-say-tomorrow-day]

guys hear me out HEAR ME OUT...

Dracula, but it's Smosh...

Dracula: Damien! Spookiest guy, vibes fit the best, and could probably do the most accurate accent if he chose to. Oh and there's also that recent Games video where he bites Keith, so... he has an audition tape.

Renfield: Tommy; my vision for this is that he plays him like he plays Mental Illness... "Helloooooo Dr. Seward, it is me, your mental patient! I am going to eat a rat now and you are going to watch! Teeheehee!"

Jonathan Harker: Shayne would be really great for this, honestly. I think he'd be able to play into the creeping fear slow descent into terror incredibly well. He makes the best bewildered expressions too.

Mina Harker: Courtney, and not just because of Shayne's role. They would kick some serious ass as Mina, I think seeing her as an investigative character who can put all the pieces together would be really cool.

Lucy Westenra: Amanda would get a kick out of three guys proposing to her, c'mon. Plus I think she would make the role really campy and play into the damsel aspects in such a silly way, it'd be so fun to see.

Arthur Holmwood: I want to say Trevor for this, mostly because he's always so fantastic in the Gentleman videos and I think he'd play up the aristocracy part of the character really well if we're going for a more comedic tone, which I think we are considering it's Smosh.

Dr. Jon Seward: Maybe a weird pick, but I want to see Angela for this. I just love the idea of her playing someone very practical and level-headed, and then getting more and more confused as the story goes on and shit just keeps getting crazier and more fucked up. She also has great chemistry with both Tommy and Angela.

Quincey Morris: Spencer would be perfect, honestly. We've seen him do a southern accent a few times and it's always golden. I also think his sassiness and wit would really make the part stand out.

Van Helsing: I'm actually really stuck on this one. Damian would be perfect, if he wasn't already playing Dracula. So apart from that, my gut is actually telling me Anthony. I think that he has the right visual aesthetic for it, I think he'd have fun playing someone so cooky.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hello lovely, this is re: sex witch stuff. do you have any advice for figuring out whether what's up with you is an a-spec thing or a depression thing?

context being: I've suspected I'm somewhere on the asexuality spectrum because I don't usually get *attracted* attracted to people unless I've gotten to know them somewhat. but at the same time, I've been depressed since I was a young teen and in the past few years, my libido has definitely gone down and I usually only get horny around my period. part of it is probably the meds and the fact that I'm Exhausted all the time (being in uni and having to be an adult doesn't help lol). I'm 23 and still a virgin, but I do get the sense that I would enjoy casual sex or an FWB situation. the other thing is - I do enjoy my own company, and I know I'm probably not in the best place to be in a relationship, but at the same time I'm a little lonely and would love to be in that long-term relationship stage of things yk? but I have no great desire to be actively dating (lack of energy also factors into this), and hookups are not a big thing in my culture so sex kind of goes with dating. which is why I still can't figure out whether this is more of an a-spec thing or depression + mild social anxiety thing :/

I'm the last anon about aspec vs depression thing. forgot if I mentioned it or not but I'm 23F, bi (I think. I tend to use queer. never actually been on a date with a girl before) and cis so there isn't any major gender or sexuality issues complicating things. I do have some body insecurities which may play into it (was naturally quite slim and then I lost more weight in the past 2 years due to meds which means my boobs are even smaller than before) but overall i think I'm fairly body neutral at this point 🤷‍♀���

hi anon,

I'm going to say something that I worry has the chance to come across as condescending and I want you to know that that's not my intent at all. I'm not trying to downplay your curiosity or exploration of self, or the mental health experiences that you've had. you're the predominant expert on yourself, and you can feel free to disregard all of this.

having said that:

what you're describing doesn't sound like it's solely a depression thing or necessarily an asexual thing at all. it sounds like being a busy 23 year old with a lot on their plate and having more pressing things to focus on than sex, even though sex sounds kind of nice. that's very normal for lots of people whether they're asexual or not, and it's actually great to hear that you're aware that you're not in the best place for a relationship and that you're already comfortable in your own company. it may not be the most fun thing, but being self-aware and able to be happy on your own are both important skills to cultivate.

you definitely could be asexual! I'm not denying that! but just chilling sex-free while you're busy and stressed and tired with uni and other things isn't hard proof, especially when it sounds like sex is something you think would be fun and desired for you if it were a better fit for your life right now.

some further reading that may be helpful:

The Sex Myth (Rachel Hills) - one of the very first sex books I read back in my baby sex witch days; a helpful reveal that most people are, on average, not having as much sex as they claim or want to be having

Come As You Are (Emily Nagoski) - neat insights from Dr. Nagoski about the ways that stress and other factors fuck with cis womens' sex drive and sexuality (and how to approach that with grace and self-compassion)

Ace (Angela Chen) - a phenomenal look at the experience of asexuality by an asexual writer, which may be helpful in determining if asexuality feels like the right label for your experiences

[weshallc]

Happy Burns Night 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🥃🎻🪈🦔

I'm going to republish my 5 chapter Bern's Night story following this post that I started as an explainer, but it turned into something more.

I wrote this part of the Crown Jewels CtM AU series a few years ago, partly as a tribute to my dad who shared a birthday with Robbie Burns (Scotland's greatest poet). We celebrated every year to different degrees, sometimes as part of an official Burns society dinner in Scotland or the North East of England. Or at home (I can cook a mean Burns Supper).

For anyone who has lost someone close to them and feels stuck in the grieving process, just give it time. It's not a race or a competition or something you have to achieve, or a test you must pass or anyone else's business.

My wee glimmer of hope I wanted to share today is this; I've gone from on anniversaries remembering the last of everything, as in the last birthday, the last Christmas, last time I watched this show, last time Sunderland won... to remembering the best of everything. The best birthdays.... because often the last was far from the best.

Previously, that would bug me. I wanted the last to be the best, because in a perfect world, it should be. I think the media believes this too. We are often overwhelmed with stories about Bucket Lists and Making Memories when someone has a terminal diagnosis and although a lot of these stories are inspiring; they put a lot of pressure on loved ones. Not only to care for their beloved, but to make their last days as special and magical as possible.

A great aspiration, but the reality is caring for someone is probably the most difficult thing a person will ever be asked to do. End of life can be ugly, cruel and dehumanising, as well as something that can be managed well, beautiful and empowering.

Unfortunately, the balance of these differing experiences often comes down to how much money someone has and what they can afford to pay to access often scant services. Whether that's paying for private nursing care outside state provision or insurance cover or being placed on a waiting list, that is much longer than the days you have left to be applicable for it. (That's after managing to fit in all the form filling and constant phonecalls you really don't have time for to get on the pointless list)

You may not have been Flo Nightingale or even Phyllis Crane, but you did your best for your loved one. There is no question about that, whatever the circumstance, because you didn't create the circumstance.

You may have regrets or would have chosen to do a few things differently, but with the resources, knowledge and skills you had available to you at the time, you did your best, because we always do for those we love.

Disclaimer: The story has a lot more laughs than this post and not compulsory reading.

BTW: if you aren't familiar with the Crown Jewels CtM AU, no prior knowledge is required. It's very simple, like its author. He's a pub landlord, she's a barmaid/carer, the Noakeses are the police, Mount Busby is an alpaca farm, Cynthia and Angela are cars and everyone is the wrong age. See very straight forward. It’s also set in a village in the North-East of England, an oversight I think by both Jennifer Worth and Heidi Thomas when writing the original. But, no hard feelings.

[wikiangela]

so, Wakanda forever was fucking amazing and beautiful and omg I loved it so much

spoilers under the cut because I need to talk about it - just some chaotic thoughts, I still haven't properly processed it lol

first of all, so many tears - I cried since the moment the movie started, and the opening credits, so quiet and just T'Challa/Chadwick got me sobbing 😭💔 and that moment at the end when Shuri was on the beach and they showed all those moments with T'Challa and it was so quiet again... that silence was a damn good choice fr (I'm crying again just thinking about it) - the whole theater was silent during those scenes and it just emphasized it - god his death really hit now and it was fucking heartbreaking 💔💔💔😭😭

second of all - you fucking killed QUEEN RAMONDA??? - Angela Bassett was fucking amazing as always and I was thinking: wow this is kinda her movie, she stole the show fr - and then you go and kill her???? the way I was crying omg 😭😭 - but like, she was so good, I loved her so much - both the character and the actress ❤️❤️ - I'm gonna say it again: there's just something so regal and authoritative about Angela Basset, she's the perfect queen 👑❤️

now - I LOVED Shuri's journey so much!!! her grief seemed so realistic, and I love how we could see different sides of grief too - she felt so angry and guilty, and it was palpable - and the way she wanted revenge for her mom too (it was so understandable, and tbh I'd kill the guy who would do that to my momma 😠) - and at the end when she decides to spare him it was such a good moment too, she's so strong and amazing - and just her as the black panther! I loved every moment of it!!

also, Shuri is the Black Panther and M'Baku is the king?? I love that, M'Baku was so fun and great too, loved all his scenes

Riri was so adorable and so fun and I can't wait to see more of her!! also, I hate to make it about shipping but like... Shuri/Riri? 👀 bc I can see it 👀👀😂

Namor was so interesting, I really liked his story and motivation and how everything played out - also, I just love water and everything water-related so the whole underwater city and society was amazing to see, the whole vibe was great, loved it

Okoye is a fucking badass, I love her so much, when she fought multiple people on that bridge I was like daaaamn 😳🔥

and the post credit scene 😭 he had a SON????? jfc I started crying even harder then 😭😭❤️

the music, the atmosphere, the vibe, everything was just soooo great, no other marvel movie does it like black panther fr ❤️

it was so sad and filled with grief and mourning, which could be felt all throughout it and it was amazing - but the few little comedic things were just right and they fit so well and naturally - and they hit too lol

it was just so fucking good and I had a great cry and it just made me so emotional

it was a beautiful movie and a beautiful goodbye, and I'm crying again just thinking about it (I cried every single time T'Challa was mentioned without fail - and then when Ramonda was mentioned too) - it was beautiful and heartbreaking and I loved it so much

the best marvel movie in a while for me ❤️

I could probably say so much more but still can't even think clearly and I'm too tired lol - as soon as it's on disney plus I'm watching it again for sure

ngl I had high expectations and it exceeded them, I loved every second of it

[superhero--imagines]

Part 12

Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here! / Part 5 Here! / Part 6 Here! / Part 7 Here! / Part 8 Here! / Part 9 Here! / Part 10 Here! / Part 11 Here!

* You stare at the blank ceiling, the smooth unblemished surface like freshly fallen snow

* you should really put some nudie posters up there or something to lighten the mood a little. 

* Light notes from the piano float around your room

* You sigh, so these are the facts as you know them:

* Edward is your best friend who has occasional bouts of brooding and flirtatious behavior.

* Bella is not albino, she has a lovely peach undertone, and a lovely grilled peach scent

* The entire coven has treated your attraction to this young lady’s blood like you got caught masturbating or wetting the bed or something

* “You don’t need to be embarrassed it’s a perfectly natural feeling.” Esme tells you while rubbing your shoulders

* “We’ve all been there” Rosalie reassures

* “Totally not a big deal, it happens to me everyday!” Jasper chimes in

* You wish sunlight hurt you so you could combust into flames on the spot

* The piano notes get louder, and you feel your mouth pinch into a frown.

* “Oh my god Edward! Read the room, I want brooding music!”

* Edward stops, up until then he had been playing a pretty cheerful Mozart piece

* You can tell he wants to ask why, you’ve been radiating joy non-stop since biology. But he decides against it

* “You really shouldn’t eat lying down.” He says as you sip blood while lying flat on your bed.

* “Okay dad.” You snort

* Edward starts to imagine what it would be like if you called him ‘daddy’

* All needy on top of him, your hands curled in fists against his chest, the breathy “daddy please” that leaves your mouth

* All of a sudden he’s ugly turned on

* “Ugh you’re no fun, I’m going to hang out with Rosalie”

* You leave the room and Edward has a total meltdown, is this what a kink is? Is he discovering a kink?!? At 100 years of age?!?!?!?

* Edward.exe is broken

* You don’t even make it to Rosalie’s room, you can smell them a mile away

* Broccoli, sugar and fat, and axe body spray. No peaches you realize with a sigh.

* They’ve only just barely rung the door bell when you open the door

* “Hey what are you guys doing here?”

* Jessica’s standing in front, looking pretty at ease, while Mike and Angela look equally uncomfortable.

* Makes sense, Jessica’s here all the time now either for homework or to watch TV.

* Mike and Angela haven’t been back since your sweet sixteen

* “How did you get down here so fast?”

* “I saw your car from upstairs” you say with a sheepish smile.

* You wish Alice would have given you a heads up, you weren’t planning on pretending to be human right now. Still you probably look raggedy enough right now in sweatpants and an oversized sweatshirt

* You can probably pull this sick thing off

* “We just wanted to check up on you, I heard from Mike and Angela you got sick during class.” And then in a more annoyed tone Jessica adds “And I guess you’re too sick to respond to all my texts and calls”

* Oh crap, where is your phone.

* You pat your pockets, and think when you saw it last

* “I left it in my locker” you smack your head. You told Edward to go grab your bag from class but you forgot your phone.

* “Hey don’t worry about it, I can get it for you tomorrow if you want.” Jessica rushes to your side and pats your arm. You shake your head

* “No I can get it myself, I’m fine I just ate something bad.” You mumble.

* You’re not missing school tomorrow. You would literally risk murder to smell Bella again.

* It’s not insatiable thirst like described in the books, more like a craving, like someone might have for nachos.

* It itches at you for a while, but if you just distract yourself long enough you can move on

* “Would you like to come in? I think Esme just baked cookies or scones or something.”

* Esme likes to bake for the smell and donate the food to the local shelter. That, or take it for her employees at her architectural firm in town.

* Firm is a loose word, she has maybe four employees, and they get one job a month, but it seems to make her happy.

* Angela and Mike give each other looks but Jessica perks up

* “Is she making those delicious earl grey scones again?” You sniff the air

* “I think she made some of that orange zest butter too”

* “Omg I am so happy you left your phone at school” Jessica giggles walking inside past you, you hear her greet Esme with a squeal

* “They really are good.” You tell them and your remaining human friends enter the house carefully

* “Soooo where is everyone?” Mike asks taking a look around your living room.

* “Ummm Rosalie’s in the garage, Alice is probably meditating on the roof, Emmett’s at swim practice, and Jasper’s probably at the barn.”

* “What about Edward?” Angela asks before Mike can ask about the barn

* Last you saw him he was playing the piano in your room, but it’s been a while since then

* “He’s probably in his room monologuing about the degradation of the American dream or something.”

* You lead them into the kitchen where Esme and Jessica are already deep in conversation about the wonder of her baking

* “-side is so light and fluffy, how do you get the tea flavor though”

* “Witchcraft.” Esme jokes, giving a full smile before putting another tray in the oven. Only Jessica laughs, the other two are too nervous to even sit down

* “Why don’t I teach you how when you come over next week.”

* Yeah you’re pretty sure Jessica is really only a fan of the “eating” and not of the “baking”

* You’re half surprised when she seems happy at the invitation. 

* “Oh that sounds great, I can’t wait for it!” Jessica’s practically beaming

* Where’s Edward when you need him? You wonder what her motivations are. 

* Jasper is not going to like this. He’s already irritated enough that he’s kicked out of his own house every Friday when Jessica comes over to watch arrested development

* Before you can say anything to Esme the conversation moves forward

* “Did you guys hear about that security guard that died in Mason county?”

* She’s just making small talk, you know that. But you and Esme instantly tense at the mention

* Carlisle had mentioned he thought there was a nomad wandering through, they were still far enough not to cause the coven immediate trouble, but anything that brought more attention to them was a disadvantage

* “My Dad says he heard from Chief Swan it was probably a wild animal attack” Mike mumbles over a bite of scone, you figured he would be the easiest to win over with food

* You hide a smile behind your hand, he really is like a golden retriever

* “What kind of a wild animal climbs stairs into a building” Jessica mumbles over another bite of scone. And maybe to fit in, or maybe because she’s always been a nervous eater, Angela takes a bite too.

* “Oh wow, these are really good” she murmurs

* Esme Cullen ladies and gentleman, winning the hearts of teenagers with baked goods since 19XX

* “Well you kids stay safe, stay together if you can.” She pats your head and you nod.

* You don’t know the details of the attack, you get the feeling Carlisle still see’s you as a kid and he doesn’t want to burden you.

* But assuming the small changes that have happened have nothing to do with the large changes, that means Laurent, James and Victoria will be passing through soon.

* Maybe it’s for the best Bella doesn’t get involved with Edward until later.

* You’d really like to not get all mixed up in the whole “James Thing” if you can help it.

* “Are you staying for dinner? I’m thinking of whipping up some pasta, maybe a chicken?” Esme looks to you, yeah you have no idea how she’s going to manage that. Besides the baking basics there’s no actually food in this kitchen. And the one upstairs is just for your blood bags.

* “(Y/N), do you think...Carlisle would mind if we used one of... his chickens?”

* His chickens? The only chickens in the house-

* “No Esme! My chickens are only for love and chicken snuggles” and their blood which tastes very leans yet rich. “Not to eat!”

* “It would just be one-we’ll eat your least favorite!”

* You’re really hoping this is her way of chasing the humans out because she doesn’t want to cook.

* “No- oh my god- we’re going to the diner come on!” You say tugging Jessica and Angela to stand.

* “It was great seeing you again Mrs. Cullen, see you next week!” Jessica shouts as the three of them follow you out.

* “Going out? Is that such a good idea it’s late and a school night.” Edward says as he descends down the stairs

* “Oh my god, yes Dad I’ll be home before my curfew.” You say before leaving, cue Edward crumbling onto the stairs as he imagines you calling him “daddy” again

* “I’m going to hell, I’m definitely going to hell.” He mumbles, his face in his hand.

* It’s a really short drive to the diner, also known as the only place to eat in Forks in the mid 2000’s. 

*There’s not even a McDonald’s. It’s almost sad

* And when you get there, while everyone moves ahead to the table you see a familiar face.

* “Oh, Hey Bella”

* Your eyes met and you figured it would be rude not to say anything. It looks like she’s here having dinner with her Dad. 

*She really does look like her dad, same eyes, same cheekbones.

* “Nice to see you again Chief Swan”

* “Nice to see you too, how’s Carlisle doing? Heard it’s been busy at the hospital.”

* “Yeah, it’s like he doesn’t sleep anymore.” You grin at your own joke.

* “Are you feeling alright now?” Bella asks, she looks genuinely concerned

* “Yeah, I um, made some questionable food choices at lunch.”

* There’s an awkward moment of silence. You get the impression that Chief Swan and his daughter are both the “strong silent” types.

* It looks like they’ve both finished eating already

* If you had known she was going to be here you would have made Edward come with you. 

* “Oh hey, do you want to join us for dinner?” It just seems like the friendly thing to do for the new girl, something on-brand with human character

* Definitely not because if you get on her good side now, maybe she won’t kick you out once her and Edward get married. 

*Father and daughter exchange a glance and the familiar connection they have makes you nervous. 

*“Of course you don’t have to, I know you’re here with your dad so-“

* “I’m sure Bella would love to join-“ Charlie says at the same time Bella says:

* “Wouldn’t it be kind of weird since I already ate.”

* Ah, so they’re not as in sync as you thought. 

* You give your best “Golden Girl - You can totally trust me with your daughter” smile.

* “I’m actually not eating either,” you place a hand over your stomach like a human might. “The uh, Clam Linguine is still haunting me, so I’m sticking to broth and sprite.”

* Why did you say Clam? You don’t even eat meat, it’s how you’ve been getting away with eating so little at lunch. 

* “not a lot of vegetarian choices” You say to your human friends who nod solemnly. 

* Father and Daughter exchange another look likening telepathic communication and they both move to stand

* “I’m going to finish up some paperwork at the precinct, don’t stay out to late.” Charlie says, leaning down to kiss his daughter on the forehead

* You watch with warm eyes and a small smile twitching onto your lips

* Bella is so loved.

* You can’t believe she’s willing to break her dad’s heart just so she can be 19 forever.

* Which, as you are 19 forever, you can fairly say is overrated

* “Hey guys Bella’s joining us.”

* Your female friends offer her a polite smile, you see Angela gaze flick from the menu to Bella’s face. Silently calculating the worth of this opportunity

* Any intel on this new girl would be pretty valuable

* Same old Angela

* Mike sits up straight so fast that he actually knocks his silverware off the table.

* “H-hey Bella, Hi, w-what, what are you doing here?”

* “Eating.” Bella says it so bluntly that you can’t help but laugh.

* Mike flushes bright red and Jessica and Angela exchange a look before giggling.

* “I thought it would be cool if she came over since I didn’t get to talk to her much.” You take a seat next to Jessica and Bella follows by taking the last seat between you and Mike.

* You still catch whiffs of her scent her and there, especially when she’s sitting so close to you.

* But it’s not so bad, the peachy smell is making you a little lightheaded, but you can handle it.

* At least you’re not fantascizing about killing her and everyone in this room like a certain dork you know.

* “Do you guys want to do that promotion where we get the basket of fries for the table?” Jessica asks

* “I don’t like sharing fries with Mike he eats them all.” Angela mumbles

* Yeah you remember last time when after a football game the three of them actually sat down and divided the plate in three equal portions

* They even measured out each fry dividing up the extra long ones 

* “Says the person who basically eats ketchup with a spoon.” Mike retorts and Angela scoffs

* “It’s America’s best condiment for a reason Mike.” Angela snaps back

* “I think we’re getting off track, I say Mike buys us all french fries to make up for all the times he hogged the joint basket” Jessica’s teasing but Mike takes it seriously

* “What so I’m a French fry monster now?”

* “Yes” Both Angela and Jessica respond in unison without looking up from their menu cards

* “What do you think Bella?” You’re surprised that Jessica’s the one asking. You get the feeling she’s not very happy about Mike’s crush on Bella.

* “I think Mike should buy everyone their own basket since he has such a bad history with sharing.”

* “You traitor!” Mike mocks hurt and you all laugh.

* You look at Bella through the corner of your eye, maybe it’s just the lighting but she looks pinker when she’s laughing.

* She looks happy as she starts contributing to the conversation.

* “I will say the pie here is really good, I wouldn’t share even if someone paid me to.”

* “Omg yes, the cheery icebox pie is out of this world” Jessica responds

* “I’m partial to chess pie” Mike pipes in and Angela laughs

* “You guys are crazy, the fruit custard they make is the best”

* You grin as your four new friends argue about the superior dessert, watching Bella laugh beside you.

* Welcome to team human Bella

Tags:  @moonlights27 @thebluetint @the100thtwilight @awesomebooklover17 @oneofthepotterheads @smileygirl08 @imdoingathingmom @iconicgguk @yrawn @alyciaswhore @little-horror-show @wicked-watering-can @lazydreamers @xxxmuxxx @puritanicalhypocrite

[malspinningyarns]

Nitpicky Thoughts About Stranger Things from a Hoosier’s Perspective

Hello. I am from Indiana. Both of my parents are from Indiana. Stranger Things is supposed to take place in Indiana in the 1980s, but sometimes it doesn’t feel like it. I have notes and questions.

Where the fuck is Hawkins? It has a nearby quarry and tons of woods and hills, which makes it clearly in Southern Indiana. One episode I believe Hopper mentions they are near the Tippacanoe River, which is in Northern Indiana, which is bullshit. At some point someone mentions they are 80 miles from Indianapolis, which, k sure whatever. The official companion book has it between Indianapolis and Fort Wayne, which would be North East IN. Which is bullshit. Do you have any idea how flat Indiana in the north? Hell, how flat it is from Indianapolis up? It’s just corn and soybean fields as far as the eye can see. You don’t even start getting real hills and woods until like 30-40 minutes south of Indianapolis in Brown County. Also, I’m pretty sure quarries only are in the southern part of the state. Like I think season 4 kinda tried to rectify this, but it’s still not clear.

If Hawkins is in Southern Indiana, where is all the Indiana University gear, even on extras? Hell, or even a mention? A single poster in a storefront? The 1980s were HUGE for IU basketball. Like these were the Bobby Knight multiple National Championships years. People of Hawkins would be decked out in cream and crimson. Remember in Parks and Recreation where Ron Swanson points at a giant ass poster of Bobby Knight in his office? Yeah, still a thing. Really, there isn’t enough dropping of Indiana Colleges, even as background. I saw a Purdue shirt on an extra once. And Notre Dame gets name-checked by Robin as an alibi (as The University of Notre Dame, which is too much). I can’t explain to you how much college sports mean to the Midwest. Like, Netflix, you are paying for Coke and Jif and a million song rights, you can cough up the money to pay for some IU logos. Hell, IU would probably just give it to you for free if they could get more student enrollment.

I love that The Wheelers just let Mike go to California by himself. Continuing with their A+ parenting. Mike is like the most oblivious teenage boy ever and you trust him to take a long-ass flight alone and properly communicate with the Byers in case things change? Nancy I get, but just Mike?

How does Hawkins and whatever school Will and El go to in California have the same spring break?

Do you understand how disgusting Indiana’s weather is in March? Some days it’s snowing. Some days it’s sleet. Some days it’s raining. Some days it can be warm. It’s real unpredictable. Layers are your friend.

The Wheelers clearly have money (probably upper middle class) but do they have “private college in Boston” money? What would lead Nancy to go to Emerson anyway? Like I know IU and Ball State are state schools, but they have great journalism schools.

The Hawkins High basketball court is hilariously small. Like when we first saw it in earlier seasons, I thought it was the aux gym they use for gym classes. But nope. It’s the regular gym. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a high school basketball gym that small in Indiana. Can the entire town even fit in the stands? That would be like a community meeting place.

There has only been 1 John Mellencamp song in the entirety of the show, “R.O.C.K. In the U.S.A.” during the carnival in season 3. That’s like putting a show in New Jersey in the 1980s and only using 1 Bruce Springsteen song and that song is “Pink Cadillac”. If the show doesn’t end with “Pink Houses” or “Small Town”, I swear to God, missed opportunity.

Of all the things Angela bullies El for, it’s never that’s she’s from Indiana, which is a very open-opportunity for most people looking to bully people from Indiana. As I am sure I will get bullied for this post.

Where is Joyce getting $40,000 from to pay for Hopper’s ransom? That’s a lot of money in the 80s and a decent chunk of change today. She was clearly barely scraping by in rural/suburban Indiana and now she lives in suburban California with one extra mouth to feed? Encyclopedia Britannica can’t be paying that well. The Byers only have one working car. Is it Dr. Owens money?

The giant survival store they go to is great, no notes.

[myimaginarywonderland]

So, for anyone wondering what is happening with Germany, here's a quick summary.

Yesterday we had to elect a new chancellor since Angela Merkel has been in that position for 16 years.

Now, the German parliament might be different than some other countries. We basically have 6 big parties there but from those 2 or three always form a Koalition. Koalitionen are formed so that a chancellor can be elected since we only vote for a party who chooses someone of them as that person. Since a party never has a big enough majority to elect them, multiple parties go together to make that majority.

However, there were basically only three parties who were likely to form a Koalition like this. One party was the CDU, a Christian conservative party that has basically been in a Koalition for as long as I can remember. They were also the party Angela Merkel is from. To replace her they choose Armin Lachet. Now, he is one of the worst choices they could have done because he a.) failed to fold his ballot correctly so that everyone could see who he has voted for which technically is seen as voting fraud since he might influence others with his choice but we just looked over that. B.) He literally can't form a sentence that makes sense or not contradict himself. There have been multiple talks or interviews where he downright was rude and interrupted others and denied statements that he had mad prior to this year.

Another party was the SPD, a social democratic union who wanted to elect Olaf Scholz. Now, he was involved in a financial scandal but other than that, he also just seemed a bit disrespectful or lacking in manners.

The third one was the Green Party with Annalena Baerbock. This party is mainly focused on climate change, making a green future and making it digital. She has been the best choice out of these three since she had clear ambition and was always able to answer questions.

Now, we have three other main parties who are in our parliament.

We have the AfD which has been questioned many times for being extremely right but they somehow always passed. They are homophobic, racist, anti maskers who basically were formed a few years ago and got popular because a lot of people where unhappy with Merkel during the immigrant crisis and voted this party out of protest.

We also have the FDP which claims to be liberal, yet is the textbook example of rich capitalist who just don't really do anything? Sure, they have never really been in power but they also just make empty promises.

And lastly we have Die Linke which is basically the party that is always seen as extremely left because they talk about topics like Gender etc. Many people don't vote for them as they see them as "too progressive."

Now, we have many other smaller parties but sadly none of them have really been able to reach 5% so they don't get a seat in our parliament. However there's great options here and much more fleshed out ones then the people 6 ones but since the main 6 are so established, especially with elder people, we won't see them change anytime soon.

So, yesterday's results showed that the SPD had the most votes overall, very closely followed by the CDU.

Now, both parties wouldn't have enough votes for a majority so they would need to get 1 or two other parties for a Koalition.

The SPD has made it quiet clear that their ideals are too different from the CDU to form one with them, so that leaves them out of the equation.

The AfD is disliked by every party and all have refused to cooperate with them which also means they aren't an option.

Die Linke sadly didn't reach the 5% mark. However they still got in since you need 3 Direktmandate or 5%. For anyone wondering what a Direktmandat is, this basically means that a Candidate of that party won in a certain region (they got the most votes and would be elected as a representative of that region.) Since they scored so low and barely got in, they also aren't an option which you guessed it only leaves the FDP and the Green party.

Now, before I continue I want to explain a bit more and what I touched upon in the last paragraph. When we have a federal election, you get two votes. The first is directly for a representative of a party from your region and doesn't influence the general vote as much. However this vote can secure certain people of parties a place in the parliament. The second vote is the important one since with that you vote for a party which will then elect the chancellor. So, there will be different vote results because there's two votes.

Going back to the original point, we know now that only 4 parties could form a Koalition. And it needs three of those to form a majority.

The options for that Koalition would be the SPD, the Green Party and the FDP (which is also known as Ampel Koalition which basically means traffic light Koalition since the SPD is red, the Green Party green and the FDP yellow.) This would not be ideal however it would be what the majority of votes represent and would want (this is more left than the last Koalition and would mean that the people who voted based on climate change would hopefully be listened to.) When forming a Koalition it is important to note that certain goals of the parties will be compromised since they all tend to aim for different things which means you should form a Koalition with the parties that least make you compromise your goals. This coalition would mean that Olaf Scholz becomes chancellor which would not be ideal but the Green and SPD would mean that climate politics might actually become serious and they also have more similarities. We would still have the FDP which sucks but at least two other better/good parties.

The second option would be the CDU, the Green Party and the FDP, also known as Jamaica Koalition because the CDU is black. Now, this is what a lot of us don't want because a.) We dislike the CDU and know they won't do shit and b.) We know the FDP also won't do shit. Furthermore this would mean that Armin Lachet becomes chancellor which is bad. Additionally, the Green Party would completely lose credibility since they only gained so many votes because of their climate ideals which would all not be meet should this happen (the CDU doesn't care and the FDP is capitalist, so they wouldn't do some of the major changes the Green Party wants to do.)

For now, we don't know who will be chancellor or which of these options will happen since the FDP and the Green Party want to talk with each other first and then approach the SPD/CDU. Since they are smaller but still know that there decision is the decided, they want to first look which party most likely fits them. However, Christian Lindner, who is the head of the FDP had already said that they think the SPD is too far left which is why a lot of us are worried. (I would also like to point out that that statement is complete bullshit but you probably already got that from my tone. The SPD is left but in reality probably more centre than anything else. The only actual left parties of the big 6 are Die Linke and Die Grünen in my eyes and even the last one is more leaning for me. Might also be because I am very heavily left but yeah.)

We are currently just waiting for the decision and disaster to happen.

[myrandomfandomramblings]

Chenford fanfic - In which Tamara gives Lucy and Tim the push they need (but only after completely freaking Tim out)

Tamara was pretty sure Tim and Lucy had feelings for each other and decided to take it upon herself to nudge them forward. She was meeting Lucy for lunch today at the food trucks and was looking forward to putting her plan in motion. However, before Lucy got there Tim did and he sat down opposite Tamara to eat his lunch and talk. She could work with that.

“I bet I can describe your ideal woman and future wife,” Tamara says bluntly a few minutes into their conversation.

Tim just rolls his eyes, “What are you a psychic now or something. Did you see my future in your crystal ball?”

“No. But I do know who you’re going to marry. She’s younger than you. Gorgeous. Dark hair and eyes. The perfect height for you to kiss her forehead. She’s smart and kind and really tough, and has never given up despite the obstacles in her path. And you already think of her as family.”

Tim was so confused he didn’t even interrupt. He was completely lost until he remembered himself as a teenager, convinced he was going to marry his high school crush. Could Tamara really think anything could happen between them? Tim thought of her as a daughter and the thought of what she was implying made him sick.

“I need some air,” he managed to say as he got up and walked away without ever even looking at Tamara. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts he ran right into Lucy who was making her way towards the table he had just vacated. 

Lucy was about to tease Tim for bumping into her but the words died when she saw his expression.

“Are you OK?” Lucy asked, “You look shaken.”

“I…,” he began not sure what to say, “I need you to talk with Tamara. I think she has a crush on me and I can’t deal with that. It’s too weird. I need you to set her straight.”

Lucy’s concerned expression had morphed into poorly contained laughter as Tim talked.

“What could possibly make you think Tamara has a crush on you. You know she thinks of you as a father figure. She literally calls you Dadford.” 

“She said she knew who I was going to marry, then described herself.”

“She said you were going to marry a previously homeless 19 year-old, who stole a police officer’s car, then convinced the officer to let her keep the car before selling said car?” Lucy asked clearly amused.

“Not that specific but I swear she was describing herself.”

“What exactly did she say?”

“Younger than me, pretty with dark eyes and hair, tough, smart, kind, has overcome obstacles, and about this tall,” Tim finished holding his hand about level with his nose.

“Oh and she said I already think of her as family.”

“Ok I’ll give it to you that Tamara fits all that criteria but she could be describing someone else.”

“Like who?” Tim questioned.

“Angela or Nyla for two,” Lucy offered pointing at the two woman who were currently enjoying their lunches.

Tim made a face. “I guess but what would make her think I’d marry either of them. They’re like my sisters. Plus Angela’s happily married with a new baby.”

Lucy shrugged. “I’ll talk to Tamara if it will make you feel better,” she offered.

“Thank-you,” Tim said as he let out a relieved sigh. “I have to get back on patrol but let me know what she says.”

“Will do,” Lucy replied before heading towards Tamara.

“So what were you and Officer Zaddy talking about?” Tamara asks as soon as Lucy sits down.

“You, actually,” Lucy offered “You freaked him out pretty good.”

“I didn’t tell him anything he didn’t already know deep down,” Tamara replied.

“Which is that he’s going to marry…?” she drew out the last word into a question hoping Tamara would finish the sentence.

“You.”

“What!” Lucy exclaimed having been completely taken off guard.

“Well it’s obvious to everybody else that there’s something between you two. I was just trying to move things along. I didn’t mean to freak him out.” 

Lucy was so overwhelmed that she quickly pushed all thoughts of Tim to the deepest, darkest corner of her mind and changed the subject. She was able to get through the rest of lunch without any mention of him and lucky for her the rest of her shift was busy, providing the perfect distraction. 

However, when her shift ended and she left the station she could no longer avoid her thoughts and the feelings Tamara’s comment had stirred in her. Especially when the object of said thoughts was in the parking garage, leaning against his truck, seemingly waiting for her.

“Hey,” he greeted pushing off of his truck to meet her, “how’d your talk with Tamara go?” 

“Good,” Lucy replied feeling the heat rise in her cheeks, “she does not have a crush on you so you can stop freaking out.”

“Good. But I was not freaking out,” Tim countered.

“You kind of were. It looked like you had seen a ghost,” Lucy teased.

“Well can you blame me?”

“No, but it’s all good now. Go home and get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Lucy said heading towards her car.

“Wait if she wasn’t talking about herself. Who was she talking about?” Tim asked.

“Maybe we’ll never know,” Lucy offered still facing away from him knowing that if she turned around her flushed cheeks would give her away.

“I can tell you’re lying. Out with it Chen.” Tim demanded in his best TO voice.

Lucy turned to face him but kept her head down and eyes fixed on the floor.

“She was talking about me,” she finally said barely above a whisper.

“You? Oh?” Tim finished then trailed off. He didn’t know what to say. That actually made sense. When he had thought of Tamara, or Angela or Nyla as his future wife he had felt kind of grossed out but when he thought of Lucy he felt different, hopeful?

When the silence stretched on Lucy felt the need to fill it and hopefully break some of the tension.

“Crazy, right?” she offered finally looking up from the floor.

“Is it?” he asked meeting her gaze, “I mean we already kind of act like a couple. We’re each other’s emergency contacts. You are the first person I want to talk to when something happens, good or bad. We spend at least half of our time off together. Whenever I’m in a crowded room my eyes always look for you. There’s nobody’s opinion I value more than yours. For heaven’s sake I was buying a new Bbq brush the other night and I kept thinking “which one would Lucy like?’ 

Lucy let out a short laugh before speaking around the the lump that had formed in her throat. “I really don’t care about Bbq brushes,” she admitted, “you on the other hand I care about a great deal and the fact that you think of me when you’re buying things for your house means a lot.

“Don’t let it go to your head,” Tim quipped cutting through the heaviness of the moment with their familiar banter.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” she laughed “but now that I know tough guy, Tim Bradford does sappy speeches I’m going to need more of that in my life.” A playful smile appeared on her face as she stepped forward and took his hands.

“I think that can be arranged,” he offered before tenderly placing a kiss on her forehead. “But you can’t tell anyone, I have a reputation to protect.”

Lucy rolled her eyes but since her head was currently rested on his chest. Tim didn’t see. “If what Tamara said is true it seems everybody already knows. They saw right through your hardshell to your gooey centre. You should just embrace it.”

“Fine,” Tim relented, “speaking of Tamara it seems we might owe her some sort of thank-you.”

“Let’s see how the first date goes first,” Lucy teased pulling just far enough away from him to meet his eyes. “We both have tomorrow off so I’m thinking a midnight stroll along the beach. I hear the bioluminescence is currently beautiful. And I think it’s a full moon tonight. We can stop for food on the way. There’s this great little taco truck that’s open late.” As Lucy talked they made their way to Tim’s truck and he opened the passenger door for her. “We should probably grab Kojo too. He’s already been alone all day. If we’re lucky we might even catch the tail end of the sunset. And if you’re really lucky there may even be some skinny dipping involved.” At that Tim raised his brows at her but didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to interrupt her train of thought. He missed listening to her ramble. And as she continued about grabbing towels and letting Jackson know not to worry when she didn’t come home tonight. It reminded Tim of the countless hours they had spent shoulder to shoulder, just like this. Her musical voice filling the shop while they patrolled. That was over a year ago now and although this felt familiar it also felt different, new, exciting. But most of all it felt like home. 

[lupin72]

For what? Doing my job?

Trigger warning for vague mentions of PTSD and food disorder

This is in response to the anon who asked for a fic where Lucy has trouble with eating. I know this might not be what you had in mind when you asked, but this was as close to a story like that that I felt comfortable telling. I hope you enjoy it!

Tim stood in the middle of the street, looking up to the window of the apartment, the rain soaking him and battering his body. He knew the food in the paper bag in his hand would be ruined if he stood there much longer, but he couldn’t force himself to take another step.

Was he doing the right thing?

He hadn’t seen Chen in a week. Since they had spent that first afternoon together in the hospital, Tim had visited between shifts. But he hadn’t seen her since she got released.It felt safe to visit when she was in the hospital. As a TO it would be rude not to check in on his rookie, especially after something like that. But now that she was in her own home it felt far too personal to visit her there. She had a month off from the department, being kidnapped by a serial killer warranted a break which thankfully didn’t force a pause in her training.

He wouldn’t admit it to Lopez who had been teasing him about it, but he did miss hearing her constant chatter in the shop. Her constant enthusiasm and light heartedness. He couldn’t remember the last time he had smiled never mind laughed.

So, he had an idea to bring her her favorite veggie burger. He had stopped at the truck for lunch and purchased it on a whim. He only had twenty minutes of his break left which provided a nice excuse to leave if things felt awkward. There was probably closer to fifteen minutes left now for how long he had stood frozen for.

Summoning all the positivity he could muster he finally took the final couple of steps forward and rang the buzzer.

Lucy looked worse than she had done in the hospital. She had been getting better by the day but now, standing framed in her doorway, she looked vulnerable, almost frail. He had always thought her to be small, especially compared to some of the criminals they faced but he had watched her handle herself with such strength that he didn’t notice it so much anymore. But now she looked tiny, the baggy clothes hanging off of her, her skin pale.

“Tim?” She looked surprised to see him, but he watched a flicker of a smile cross her face.

“Hey, I stopped by Jimmy’s and thought you might want a burger?”

“Thank you,” Lucy took the bag from him and then tilted her head. “You want to come in?”

“Yeah,” Tim nodded and stepped forward.

He hadn’t been in her apartment since he came to collect Kujo and as he looked around, he saw that not much had changed. It was neat, organized and most importantly colorful. It was everything he expected Lucy’s apartment to be but the version of her standing before him looked like a stranger in someone else’s home.

“Have you eaten?” She asked him.

Tim nodded, he had eaten at the tuck quickly, not wanting to seem presumptuous by bringing his own meals to hers.

Lucy smiled and took out the food. “Had many exciting calls?”

“Not much, it’s been pretty quiet the last few days. Just proves I was right; you are a magnet for trouble.”

Lucy laughed and picked up a fry.

The next fifteen minutes flew by, and as he reluctantly stood and made his way to the door Tim found that he hadn’t needed the excuse to leave after all.

They had spoken for a while, but he could tell that the atmosphere was off. It wasn’t that it was awkward between them but instead like there was something else on Lucy’s mind. She seemed distracted and detached from the moment, her gaze flickering around the room rather than holding his own like he was used to. It had his body torn with a tension much different from how it had been when he had stood outside in the rain.

Tim returned the next day, this time with some soup which she ate half of and he knew he was witnessing a different kind of storm. It was bubbling under the surface and he just hoped it found its way out before it tore Lucy up inside.

When Tim returned to the station that afternoon, he was relieved to find Jackson just outside the locker room. He called the rookie over to him.

“How’s Lucy doing?” Tim asked, before Jackson could speak.

“Fine sir.” The reply was curt and confirmed everything Tim had feared.

“Jackson give it to me straight I’ve seen her myself, what’s going on?” Tim pushed.

Jackson faltered and looked around him before he nodded towards the staffroom.

As they entered the thankfully empty room, Tim felt his heart rate quicken. What could possibly require such privacy?

“She’s been having nightmares.” Jackson began, “Lots of them. She wakes up screaming.”

Tim swallowed, his grip on the chair he was leaning on tightened.

“I think she’s having flashbacks too. Sometimes she just stares into space and it takes her a while to come back to the room.”

“And she’s not eating either?”

“Not much.”

“Thanks, West.”

Tim turned to leave but Jackson stopped him at the door.“Sir, you’re not going to report her, are you?”

“No,” the reply was almost a growl and Tim had to force himself to remember that Jackson had only ever seen him as Bradford: a stern TO. He swallowed and clarified, “I just want to help.” 

For the next week, Tim took Lucy lunch every day, even when not on shift. He used the meetings as an excuse to make sure she didn’t fall behind on her training, but he suspected she knew he had deeper motives. He brought his own food and each time he was careful to pace himself to meet Lucy’s slow pace and was pleased to see that she did eat more. It took a few days to find the right time, to find the right words to fit the situation and to make sure that she was ready to hear them but a week after she was discharged, Tim sat at Lucy’s house with burritos and a plan.

“Lucy,” he said placing down his burrito and sitting back slightly. “I hope you don’t mind me asking this but how’s therapy actually going?”

“It’s going good, its going alright, I just,” she froze up and stared out the window.Tim was now used to moments like these. He didn’t think she even realized they were happening, but he knew a flashback when he saw one. He had them himself. He gave her a few seconds to see if she would bring herself back to the present but when she didn’t he casually brushed her leg as he reached for his cup. Tim watched as Lucy blinked and turned to face him, looking startled for a second before she covered it with a smile and crossed her legs out of his reach.

It was now or never Tim decided. He took a sip of his coke, put it back on the table, turned to face Lucy fully and began to talk.“When I came back from Afghanistan, I was a mess for months. I barely ate, I couldn’t sleep and I was close to drowning in the bottle at times. Knowing what alcohol had done to my family was all that stopped me.”

“Tim?” Lucy interrupted. He could see the pain in her eyes, unhidden for the first time.

Tim ignored the interruption and continued with the words he had been rehearsing for days now. “Finding the force saved me in many ways: the structure, the sense that I was making a difference. Isabel helped too and so did Angela. I know that at night when you can only relive your darkest moments how much it helps to have something concrete to focus on for the next day. I know how food can seem like a task when the flashbacks leave you feeling sick and I know how much good company can make you feel less alone. Now returning to work for you right now is out of the question but if you wanted, I could be here every morning at seven. We could go for a run before I start and then maybe have lunch in the afternoon? It doesn’t have to be with me I’m sure Jackson could help and I could speak to him for you if it makes it easier and-”

Tim paused when he felt a small, cold hand brush his.

“Tim,” He looked to Lucy and saw her eyes welled with tears, “thank you.”

Tim felt himself blush and he ignored the feeling in his gut that screamed unprofessional when he clasped Lucy’s hand for just a second. “For what? Doing my job.”

It caused a watery laugh that he had been hoping for and he even got an eye roll. They both knew it was more than his job but thankfully Lucy understood what he meant.

And so, they spent days together, with Jackson’s help they formed a routine that saw Lucy making her way back on the job a lot quicker than any of them had expected. Lucy’s therapist even commented that Tim was clearly a great influence and probed her to talk about how she really felt towards her TO. Lucy had refused to answer that particular question, but they decided that one day they would return to it and the answer would be much different

[riversofmars]

Okay, please enjoy the first 1000 words of the Prison Fic™. Won't post to AO3 until I have a title and a full chapters worth but I need to sleep.

The First Day

The first few weeks went by rather quickly. The Doctor couldn't be sure if these were Earth standard days, all she could go by way the repetitive schedule she soon learned to adhered to. Wake up. Eat. Exercise. Back to her cell. Sit in silence with her own thoughts. Lights out. Repeat. 

Quickly she had taken to marking her walls with a bit of rock she had found. If she still had her coat, she probably would have found some chalk in there that was better suited but they had taken her clothes and provided her with a red jumpsuit instead. It was far too big and not her colour at all but it wasn’t like she had had a choice. She had tried to fight them off but they had knocked her out and she had woken up in this monstrosity. At least it turned out rather comfy. 

The first day had been very disorientating. She was still surveying the cell when the hollo signs first appeared. 

“Oh right, universal means of communication, is it?“ The Doctor said into the silence. She hated the quiet, she always had. In the silence, her own thoughts were far too loud. And she had so much to think about. The red sign in mid-air showed a humanoid shape doing jumping jacks and the Doctor frowned. 

“What? Like this?“ She did a couple of jumping jacks just to try it out but nothing much happened. That was when the arrows first appeared and her cell door slid open. The arrows were red and glaring, ushering her along in a silent yet insistent manner. 

On that first day, the Doctor had hurried out of her cell. What if she was being rescued? What if someone had messed up and unlocked her door and this was her chance to escape? She slowed her steps when she realised, there was no other way to go than the one the arrows where showing her. The walls were solid rock, like her cell had been and there were cameras everywhere. She counted them on her way past. There were thirty-eight up to the point where she reached what looked like a door. Electricity was visibly running through it in blue currents, she thought it better not to touch. Her hearts picked up speed as the door slid open. 

“Right, exercise, yeah figures…“ She mumbled as she stepped into what could only be described as a prison courtyard. So she wasn’t alone after all… the Juddon had made it pretty clear that it was prison they were sending her but until this point, she had not seen any other prisoners. Now she looked around and she wasn’t sure whether she didn’t prefer the solitude of her cell after all. The arrows flashed again, ushering her on, to her own bit of the courtyard it seemed. Every square was exactly the same size. Once she had found hers, the arrows disappeared and the fence closed, leaving her to have her exercise by the looks of it.

Slowly she started doing what everybody else was: Walking in a circle around her little square, surveying her surroundings. 

“Well this is great, innit.“ She couldn’t stop herself from talking. She needed to talk to process. She needed to talk when she was stressed, working through a problem and this was both stressful and needed processing. She jumped when suddenly a weeping angel appeared right on the other side of the fence when she hadn’t been looking. 

“Alright there.“ The Doctor took a deep breath regaining her composure. It didn’t seem like the creature could break through the fence. “I’m sure we will become fast friends, what’s your name?“ Of course there was no answer from the stone creature and the Doctor sighed, she longed for conversation. 

“How about Angela? What do you think?“ She chuckled to herself at the little pun and as she blinked the angel returned to the middle of its square. 

“Alright, no need to get like that.“ The Doctor huffed and kept walking. She jumped back a little when two Odds slammed into the fence, trying to go for her. She took a step back, this was not a fun place to be. She seemed safe in her square but the more she looked around, the more she realised she was surrounded by every creature she had ever fought, everything that had ever hated her.

“This is going to be fun…“ She looked to a Silence and forgot she had seen them as she looked away. There was an Ice Warrior, a Sletheen, some Sontarans a few squares down… Pting right next to her seemed her best bet for a friend, he was currently trying to chew the bars. 

“Not sure I’d do that mate, I know you’re into the energy and all but don’t think that’s edible, even for you… Mind you, if I don’t get any decent food soon, I might try as well…“ Pting just growled at her and she kept walking. She could feel everyone’s eyes on her. The deadliest creatures of all the universe, ruthless killers, the stuff of nightmares surrounded her. They were the stuff of her nightmares too. She would never admit to it freely, particularly if they met them head on, but as she felt their predatory eyes on her, all she could do was hope that the fences would hold. 

“Everything that’s ever hated you is coming here tonight. You can’t win this. You can’t even fight it.“ The words came to her like a punch in the gut. She remembered the last time she’d been surrounded like this. How fitting. At the opening of the Pandorica. They had tried to put her in a prison then… it seemed they had finally succeeded. The most dangerous creature in the universe… now she was indeed counted among them. 

“Doctor, just this once - just one time - please, you have to run.“

“But run where, River?“ The Doctor asked, replaying the memory in her head as she looked around. “Where would I possibly run to?“ Slowly, she started walking circles around her square, keeping her head down. 

[loominggaia]

Do you have any voices in mind for the Looming Gaia characters? I imagine Ginger sounding like Pearl from Steven Universe for some reason. Idk why...

Woah that’s a perfect voice for her now that you mention it! Personally I always thought she’d sound like Mrs. Brisby from Secret of Nimh, but Pearl is great too!

I have a few voices in mind. I’ll include Youtube links for examples. Itchy’s voice is described as “gruff” or “scratchy” in the series, so I think he’d probably have a Kurt Cobain thing going on.

I can’t imagine anyone else but Angela Gossow as Elska,

I think Mr. Ocean’s voice was described as soft-spoken but raspy/sickly at some point, so something akin to Chino Moreno maybe? Or just Salad Fingers. That works too.

I think Courtney Love and Gwen Stefani have fitting voices for Alaine. Both are kind of nasally, spunky, and tomboyish in a way.

Speaking of Steven Universe, I think Estelle (Garnet) has a good voice for Jeimos.

I’ve had a few voices in mind for Evan, but lately I’ve been stuck on Roger Clark, who played Arthur Morgan in RDR2. I don’t imagine Evan having Arthur’s thick American accent, but sounding more like Roger’s natural speaking voice. I think it’s the perfect blend of smooth and gruff for a big sweet lycanthrope dude. Someone once said they imagined Patrick Warburton voicing Evan, which I think is also a good fit.

Lukas probably sounds similar to Trevor Belmont from the Netflix Castlevania series.

Linde can sound like nothing less than a Disney Princess. How ‘bout Mulan? I think Tara Strong could be appropriate too.

Dave King from Flogging Molly is my first choice for Glenvar. And you might laugh at me for my second choice, but hear me out…Vinesauce Joel. The roughness mixed with the slight Swedish accent just works imo.

Zeffer…Peter Steele. Not his deep singing voice, but his normal speaking voice.

I can’t get David Bowie’s voice out of my head whenever I’m writing Dario. I think his performance as the Goblin King is perfect for him, it has that elegant yet threatening and vaguely douchey quality to it.

Tress Mcnielle doing her Agnes voice is spot-on for Morbus imo. A similar voice would work for Calamity too.

I forgot her name, but the actress who played Sally Acorn in that old Sonic cartoon had a really distinct voice that fits Flora super well.

I remember MetallicaFangirl suggested that the guy who plays Zuko in Avatar would be a good fit for Connor. I think so too!

Balthazaar sounds similar to Sgt. Hatred in my head. I don’t know why.

Those are just some stand-out voices I tend to imagine while I’m writing dialogue, but if anyone has more suggestions I’d love to hear them!

[ksbwnotes]

Chapter 8, Part 3

*leaning back in chair from exhaustion* my brain needs to learn how to shut up sometimes.

1. *tilts head to the side* Hmn.

Not that Sangwoo is intentionally lying here, I think he genuinely feels this is the best answer he can come up with. Because it’s better to covet nothing and be given nothing, then covet something only to be given nothing. 

There was this Thor thing before, with his sister Angela, belonging to a race of angels (and i loooooove their rendition of angels because anything that subverts the original, purer narrative is my jam and butter): “Nothing for nothing.”  The Angels in that comic will only do things if they are given payment in exchange for doing so. Odin is considered “The King of Nothing” because he once expected them to do the right thing (saving humans, I think?) just for the sake of it, rather than for material gain. This was an insult to the Angels, pretty much equating this to Odin seeing them as worthless. Thus, if you give nothing, you get nothing.

Sangwoo grew up having to deal with “Nothing for something”. As in, he puts his mom as priority and, in exchange, his mom abuses him.  He behaves himself as much as he can, and in the end, his dad abuses him. He emulates an upstanding citizen to others and, because of that, they love him only for the mask he puts on, deterred from him the moment there is a crack--and this was something that went on looong before he became a sociopath. He is expected to give and give, but get nothing in return.

So now, Sangwoo’s actions are pretty much begging “Something for nothing”.  He wants to be given love and respect even though he knows that he has done nothing to deserve it. Because this hurts less. At least, here, it’s more of a self-fulfilling prophecy rather than the world kicking him while he’s down just because it wants to. At least, this way, Sangwoo can kick back and fool himself into thinking that every kick doesn’t destroy more and more pieces of himself.

2. Extension of prior panel and theory

Right now, Bum is the only one who has given him “something”. Even if it ends up being “nothing”, there is “something” to accompany that oblivion. This, in a way, is a reflection of the Lima syndrome Sangwoo is experiencing while Bum is experiencing Stockholm at the same time (though, he experienced the beginnings of it much earlier than Sangwoo). 

For Bum, Sangwoo will treat him kindly, but then do shit like...throw him against a car. Threaten to cut him up. Hang him by a pulley. All that jazz. But then, later on, Sangwoo will treat him nicely again and intersperse the abuse with little rewards he dangles in front of Bum like a master training their dog with snacks. 

For Sangwoo, Bum will give him a sense of humanity that Sangwoo probably hasn’t felt in...like 4 years. But obviously, Bum won’t be able to commit to this because Sangwoo is his abuser, so the times Bum treats him lovingly is an extension of his response to Sangwoo’s abuse. Like a frog that will end up staying in the boiling pot that will then be cooked alive then given as sustenance to its slaughterer. 

Sangwoo doesn’t know how healthy relationships work, that it’s not “nothing for nothing” or any of it’s variations, but actually “something for something”. All relationships are meant to be an equal give and take, but that requires work and being able to work through pain in a positive way, instead of falling straight into despair. 

So, Sangwoo is trapping both himself and Bum in a cyclical relationship where Bum gives him “something for nothing” and Sangwoo is now in the position of power that his parents put him in--the “nothing for something” position. Eventually though, we’ll see Sangwoo gradually try to give Bum “something” for his efforts, only to realize just how empty he is afterwards. That giving Bum “something” back only makes him feel like he’s still “nothing”. 

3. Wait, how did he kill CEO Daughter girl...

I looked back and saw the blood on her forehead, so maybe he used the sledgehammer that he hit Bum’s leg with to hit her on the temple or something. Because we don’t see a cut beneath her chin or something. So, again, the ones he loses attachment for just die, but people like Bum...they receive a lot more cuts and bruises I think. More evidence of how much he is trying to make them hate him, proving to him that they were lying when they said they loved him. 

4. Seeing it this way...

...I think this is more proof of how much Bum has proved the impossible. He has lived so much longer than what should be expected for any of his prey. Again, Sangwoo does not consciously go in planning to kill his victims, but his subconscious is preparing him for it and he knows the drill. It may not be planned, but Sangwoo still expects it. So the fact that Bum is still alive goes against all of Sangwoo’s expectations.

Subconsciously, now, he goes in preparing to keep Bum alive. That cut underneath the chin was probably how Sangwoo killed past victims, the ones who got the closest before Bum arrived. That is probably how he ended them. He slit deep into their throat before they could tighten their grip around his neck.

But Bum has surpassed them, so Sangwoo is giving Bum that scar as a warning to stop what he’s doing so that he doesn’t feel the need to kill Bum. 

Because, now, he’s scared of the regret that will follow once he kills Bum. He’s more scared of the consequence of losing Bum than the consequence of letting Bum further into his life (because, right now, Sangwoo has hope for the future with Bum in it).

5. Ooooh I love the comparison of everyday life and food to Sangwoo’s slicing and dicing of Bum

This shows just how much Sangwoo’s alive can no longer be normal. 

Like...he can look at that sliced meat and imagine all the bodies he has sliced open. How are you supposed to continue with daily life after having experienced what he has? Then, furthermore, after doing what he has? 

It drives further home to Sangwoo that he is ostracized from humanity as a whole. That no one in this planet can accept him (actually, there’ll be plenty of people who can, but the thing is, that’s not the kind of acceptance Sangwoo wants, or else Bum would’ve been enough for him/he would’ve had a much easier time of finding a fellow sociopath--I do think Sangwoo being a sociopath, not a psychopath, something to do with it, since he’s using killing as a coping mechanism rather than a response/release).

That, in the end, he is only furthering how he will end up dying alone and dying painfully.

6. Heyyyy, Jieun, that you??

Lol, if that is, then I love how Bum in the next panel drives home their every closer intertwining fates and that she is soon to be dead.

Also, where...is Sangwoo bringing her??  Even with how obedient Bum is, I don’t think Sangwoo would risk bringing her to his house unless she’s going to the basement with Bum...which, again, I don’t think he’d do lol. So...love hotel???

Whether or not that is Jieun, I think this also serves as a representation of Sangwoo questioning his sexuality because he is now genuinely thinking of being with Bum. And Bum is a guy, so does that mean he’s gAyyY?

Also one thing to point out, which probably doesn’t mean anything but still miiiight...here we see Jieun’s blissed out face, which is similar to Sangwoo’s o-face in earlier panels. However, Sangwoo’s face is obscured and we don’t see anything. This could suggest that he doesn’t actually feel that great doing Jieun, showing how he’s unable to have normal sexual relations due to...yeah. 

7. AND NOW, SANGWOO IS AT A FUCKING GAY BAR *WHEEZE*

Ahhh, Bum. The things you somehow make Sangwoo end up doing. It’s applaud worthy, now that I think about it. Sangwoo obviously, from the beginning of this, wasn’t completely straight. But he’s also not gay either. I personally think, with sexuality being a spectrum rather than a conglomeration of separate categories, being with a guy shouldn’t automatically make something homosexual. If anything, Sangwoo is on the bi or demi spectrum, but he’s feminine-inclined.

But the fact that Sangwoo wants to actually see whether or not he’s gay. x’D  Because, if that’s the case, then that means he can widen his prey circle beyond women and see if he can find someone who can accept him amongst the male population as well. 

So, I think this experience will show Sangwoo that Bum is...special. Like. To a point that it’s ridiculous for him because it’s like his sexuality is this vague hetero-excluding-Bum-sexual. Which will drive home even more for Sangwoo that, for as long as he still thinks a normal life is possible, he needs Bum to stay with him.

8. ....But...why this guy???

Of all the people for you to choose, Sangwoo, what happened. xD You could literally pick up ANYONE ELSE--look at that slender blue-haired guy in the last panel--and this is the one you end up going for????  

No, seriously, what. What even. 

Oh wait. Criteria. Criteria. Right. Sangwoo has to be careful about who he chooses. If he chooses a worker there and they end up dead, then that can lead back to Sangwoo way too easily. 

He doesn’t go in planning to kill the one he hooks up with, but obviously, he has to prepare for that just in case. Because he knows that they could trigger him at any point in time, so no matter what, his prey has to fit a very very narrow criteria. 

Which makes me think of that CEO daughter girl. I don’t think she can be someone whose father lives there in Korea. The daughter probably just decided to go their as a tourist and Sangwoo picked her up in a bar or club or some other tourist hot spot. That will make things very difficult to find him because it will take a while for her to be realized that she’s missing and by that time, it’ll be too late to track things back to him.  This shows how much he pays attention to his surroundings at any given time, because Sangwoo probably thinks of every little detail to make sure that, even if police do go to that area, he made sure little to no attention would be called to him. 

So this actually don’t really help much in convincing Sangwoo to explore his sexuality lol. Gay people have preferences too, they’re not just gonna go after any gay person. And he already has this oral trauma, so. Even less points to being gay lol. 

Anyways, I can barely think at this point, I should just end it here...

9. ALMOOOOST. DOOOONE.

Lol I have a feeling that Sangwoo is pissed at Bum because if it wasn’t for Bum, Sangwoo would’ve never gone to that gay bar and experienced the disgusting feeling of blowing another man. 

Because, actually, Sangwoo might have done it. Just so he can convince that guy to go home with him so that he can kill that guy. Which...would just make Sangwoo even all the more pissy. xD

Actually, one thing to note...I think Sungbae later goes to that same gay bar??  To get information or something??  And one of the workers actually gives vague information that point Sangwoo having been there and doing something. Which would be unusually sloppy of Sangwoo. And that’s only because Sangwoo was there due to Bum’s influence--in an entirely new situation that he was uncomfortable with and unable to properly exercise his usual precautions. 

This is a distant call to how, later on, Sangwoo makes more and more mistakes, sloppier than the last, because of how desperately he tries to integrate Bum into his life. 

[purplesurveys]

1062

survey by chrissylee22dc

A

Achievements: I guess I’m being asked to list some of mine...some of the ones I’m proudest of, at least, are graduating university with honors, landing a job (liking it is a big bonus), and taking up leadership positions.

Age: I am 22, but never felt quite like it.

Are you planning something right now? Kind of. I’m eyeing a long road trip to Tanay with just myself and go to one of their coffee shops, but idk when I’ll be able to do that. My wallet and bank account are still beat from Christmas lol (and until now I’m still buying gifts for friends), so it might have to wait until sometime next month.

Arizona or Alaska: I think Arizona weather is already quite like ours here, so I might enjoy Alaska a bit (if not a lot) more. There’s generally a lot more factors I find interesting with Alaska, like their food.

B

Birthdate: April 21st.

Build: I’m quite thin and underweight, but I actually recently made plans to start working out - both to make an effort to be healthy with myself, and also to feel good post-breakup. I’m hoping to see some changes in my body and build in the coming months.

Babies, do you have any? None of those, not sure if that’s still the plan for me.

Blonde or Brunette: Brunette.

C

Childhood sweetheart: Erm, does Gab count? We technically weren’t kids anymore when we first got together. I wasn’t attracted to anyone as a kid and was more concerned with growing my Pokemon pogs collection.

Current mood: I’m hungry and can go for savory breakfast foods right now, like shakshuka or huevos rancheros. Also a little anxious because I really don’t want to think about work, but tasks continue to pile up for a certain client.

Children, are there more in your future? There aren’t even any to begin with.

Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi just because it reminds me of Punk and my chaotic wrestling fangirl years.

D

Dad's name: Edgardo, but no one calls him by that full name. He has two nicknames; one of which he hates and only family and friends use, and the other is the name he has permanently introduced himself as in his workplace.

Dating anyone: Not anymore.

Do you plan on having lots of money? Don’t most people?

Dogs or cats: Dogs.

E

Elementary School: I’m not sharing that.

Eye color: Dark brown/black.

Ever going to China? Probably not right now considering the present situation. I’d love to go to the rural cities and have a peek into their country life.

Early or Late: EARLY. Lateness is a big pet peeve, unless the excuse is super reasonable like Manila traffic or a car accident.

F

First Crush: The first person I felt remotely attractive to was Andi, from 6th grade. Then she moved to New Zealand and the crush quickly faded out.

Fears: For concrete things, I hate cockroaches and fair rides. For bigger concepts, I fear getting left behind, failing, and not getting approval, and the idea of never being satisfied or happy with who I am, what I’ve done, or where I’ve gone.

Future goals: Have a place of my own, be able to sustain myself, and keep myself alive.

Funny or Serious: I think everyone has to have both sides. I wouldn’t want to hang out long with people who can’t be sat down to just shoot the shit with conversations that go a little deeper. At the same time, I’d be quickly bored with someone who talks about existential or philosophical topics 24/7 and takes everything seriously.

G

Grandparent's names: On my dad’s side, Dolores and Federico; on my mom’s side, Agnes and Jun. My maternal grandpa is the third in multiple generations of Abelardos in the family, but his nickname is simply ‘Jun,’ because Philippines.

GPA: We don’t measure our grades with that, but we do have a GWA; I’m just not sure how that can be converted to GPA. Mine was in the 1.47 range, which was good enough for cum laude honors. I barely missed out on a magna cum laude honor (which required a 1.45 GWA), so that’s something I’ve always been pressed about and I know I could have clinched it if the pandemic didn’t cancel my final semester, which would’ve given me the chance to pull up my grades.

Going anywhere this weekend? I don’t think so. I want to spend the remaining 5 days of my break completely unproductively.

Giver or Taker: Giver. I like pleasing people.

H

High School: I attended one school from kindergarten to high school.

Hair color: Black.

Hate anyone for life? I don’t think so. I dislike some people, but I can’t tell if I’ll feel that way for the rest of my life.

Hairspray or Gel: When I’m going somewhere or attending something fancy, I use hair gel to hold my hair down.

I

In 8th grade, who was your best friend? Eighth grade is freshman year of high school, right? In that case, my best friend was Gabie.

Is ignorance bliss? Sometimes it is. I like no longer being updated about Gabie’s life. Back when I still tried to push my way in, I was miserable. I stopped doing so over the holidays and I just stopped reaching out, stopped trying to communicate, everything. I’ve been a lot happier that way.

Is there anything you wanna share? That’s kinda the goal with every survey I take.

Ice Cream or Cake: Right now, maybe ice cream. I’m very picky about cake, and I don’t like the spongy ones aka most cakes I know.

J

Jumped rope for fun: That’s exactly what I use jump ropes for. I don’t think I ever used it for fitness or working out except for maybe PE.

Junk around you right now? I mean, not really. I have my embroidery stuff in a pile beside me, but I don’t consider them junk.

Joining anything anytime soon? Not planning on it. I briefly considered joining a gym as a new thing to do for 2021, but in the end I figured working out at home would be enough. Angela recommended the latter as well, so that’s how I abandoned my gym plans quickly haha.

January or July: I guess July? January always feels just a teeny bit stranger than other months, considering it’s the beginning of a new year.

K

Killed anyone: ...This serious?

Keeping a secret? I keep different secrets from different people.

Kicking someone off your top friends today? I don’t think that’s a thing anymore. Hasn’t been for a while.

Kiwi or Apple: Apple, just because I’ve never had the chance to taste kiwi.

L

Lost anyone close to you: I’ve lived 22 years, of course I have. I’d be very surprised if someone has lived that long but has never experienced losing people, whether from a fallout, from death, etc. Just this year alone I lost a great-aunt on my maternal grandpa’s side, and a ton of relatives from my maternal grandma’s side.

Last kiss, when and who: Gabie, three months ago.

List 3 people that you'll love forever: I can only think of Angela. And of course, Gab.

Lover or Fighter: Fighter, I suppose. I can be relentless. Right now with my breakup has been the only time I allowed myself to take a step back and not forcibly take things under my control for once.

M

Middle School: We don’t follow the concept of middle school here. The levels in middle school fall under elementary school as well.

Marital Status: Single.

Mom's name: Abigail.

Music or TV: TV.

N

Northernmost state you've been to: Batanes, which is as northernmost as northernmost gets in the Philippines.

Nickname: A lot of family members call me Byn, but for the most part Robyn has always been my main nickname.

Name your future boy and girl: I have yet to make up my mind about this.

Naughty or Nice: Nice. I never particularly feel ~naughty, and since the breakup I especially haven’t felt the need to be sexual.

O

Opened a piece of mail that wasn't yours? Sometimes I’ll open the electricity or water bill addressed to my parents out of curiosity just to find out how much we consumed in the last month. But nothing more than that.

Occupation: I’m an associate at a PR agency.

Owe anyone money: Nope.

Outgoing or Shy: Shy at first but I can get outgoing once I’ve warmed up to a person/situation.

P

Place you most want to be? Right now? I’d love to be at a coffee shop or bar at a higher altitude, with a view of the city. I used to go to a lot of these before the pandemic hit, but now I’m thinking of doing it again.

Purposely destroyed someone’s life? No.

Planning a major trip? Not really. Most tourist spots require swab tests and I am not having anything go up my nose.

Pink or Black? Love both, but I like pink ever so slightly more.

Q

Quit a class: I’ve never dropped a class. I’ve wanted to, but there was so much paperwork to fill out to do so and I also didn’t want to be behind on my overall schedule.

Quickly...the first word to come to mind: Whistle, because the pink/black question reminded me of Blackpink.

Quitting your job soon? No lol I’m barely two months in.

Quiet or Loud: I can be both, but these days I’ve been quieter.

R

Riding in an airplane: I have no idea what this is asking.

Ride, tell me about yours: ^ Same.

Running for any political office in the future? No plans to.

Rain or Snow: I guess rain, since it’s the only one I’ve experienced.

S

Siblings names and ages: Nina is 20, my brother is 17.

Shoe size: I fit anywhere between a size 6 to 7.

Shave daily? It used to be daily, but I haven’t had the need to since the quarantine began.

Shower or Bath: Shower.

T

Turning 21 was (will be): It’s been a year since then.

Texas, ever been? No but I have relatives who live there, so it’s one of my choice states to visit and stay at if I ever plan to go to the US.

Think you'll live to be 100? I doubt it. I don’t have any relatives who lived until that age.

Tame or Wild: Idk, tame I guess?? I don’t know what this is asking.

U

Unique quality about you: I feel like this is a question best answered by other people who see and interact with me more than I do myself.

Underwear on? Yeah.

Under your bed lies: Large containers with all the magazines I collected from childhood that I can’t bring myself to throw out.

Under or Over: Idk, you have to be more specific.

V

Virgin? No.

Vacation time left? I have five days left, including today :( I plan to be the most unproductive or bum-y I’ve ever been, because I have no clue when I’ll have a break this long again.

Voting in the next Presidential election? Of course.

Volleyball or Swimming: I like swimming more, but I like watching volleyball.

W

Went white water rafting? I don’t think so, but I would give it a shot.

Wearing right now: A hoodie that’s around two sizes bigger for me.

Write a sentence about you: About anything? I’m a little upset with myself for having been a bit lousy with survey-taking during the holiday break. I planned on taking a lot to catch up on the ones I’ve missed out on, but so far I mostly take just one a day lol.

West Coast or East Coast: East.

X

X-Rays in the past month: 0.

X-Mas plans: Had a get-together with my mom’s side of the family on the 24th; we hosted our own Christmas party on the 25th; and we visited my dad’s side of the family on the 26th.

X, does it mark the spot? Idk.

X-Tina or Britney? Britney.

Y

You lost "it" when? I mean, I’ve had more than one moment where I freaked out...

Your favorite song:  I’m really in love with Saw You In A Dream by The Japanese House. My favorite songs come and go, but this one has been a constant.

Your favorite place on Earth: Sagada.

Yes or No: Idk. I’m not enjoying these vague ass questions.

Z

Zodiac Sign: Taurus.

Zodiac Sign: Idk, I’m still a Taurus.

Zippos are neat, agree? I don’t have an opinion.

Zoo or Circus: Neither.

[fandomandflowers]

About Beta Readers: For Authors

This is a guide for those who are wanting to work with a Beta Reader.

I posted a guide for Beta Readers here, but even though this is aimed at authors, I think it is good to read as a Beta Reader too, as a lot of the messages apply both ways.

(There is also the fact that many Beta Readers are also Authors, and many Authors are Beta Readers)

These are just my thoughts on the matter having been a Beta Reader, had help from Beta Readers, and having friends who are writers and Beta Readers alike.

It should also be known that I don’t always listen to these. I’ll not say no when I should, or I’ll leave a fic in the middle for months before picking it up again while my Beta Reader hangs on, just waiting to know what happens next. But even so, I hope that anyone who reads this will take the information into consideration and do their best to consider things from a different perspective:

Beta Readers don’t work for you.

I wasn’t planning on putting this up the top, but actually, I think this rule is most important (watch out, I’ll say that a lot!) They work with you. They don’t work for you. While there are some who work for hire and money, that is not my point!

So work with them. Talk about your ideas. Ask questions. Open dialogue. This is an opportunity for you to grow as a writer, to learn from mistakes, and to see things from a different perspective.

And just as they don’t work for you, don’t expect them to do all of the work for you.

They’re not your personal spell-checker! That is what Grammarly is for, so use it. And if you can’t use it, then find a basic spell-checker. They’re very helpful! It is also helpful to have a dictionary and thesaurus so you don’t sound repetitive. Grammar guides and “The Emotion Thesaurus” by Angela Ackerton are good to have handy while writing.

I think one of the more annoying things as a Beta is when you put all this work into correcting SPaG, sentence structure and repetition; then the author just accepts all the corrections, not even looking through them. It is fine if you agree with every suggestion/ correction, some Beta Readers are just amazing like that. But what I mean is that you should be reading and considering each of them. This way you can see where you are making the same mistakes over and over, and learn, not repeating the mistake again.

Some things I have learned from Betas: When to capitalise titles, when to use a full stop rather than a comma in quotation marks, that it is great to be passionate about what I write, and that con-crit is super helpful when you ask for it.

Respect a Beta Reader’s limits.

If your Beta Reader tells you they have Arachnophobia, then it is your job to let them know if there are spiders in your piece of writing. This goes for everything. Just because you don’t get triggered or squicked by something doesn’t mean they don’t. Everyone has different things they can and can’t tolerate and different reactions. There are certain things where if I read them then it can lead to me spiraling and not being able to think of anything else for days.

It is your job to know what is in your fic. If someone says they won’t read a certain thing and it is in your fic. You must tell them. They might be okay with it, they might ask you to black it out, they may have to leave you to find another Beta. But you won’t know unless you tell them. Because I know for me, nothing will make me want to leave a fic more.

Know what you want.

Before you even start looking for a Beta Reader I recommend you have some clue what sort of help or advice you’re looking for. I am likely to think all of these notes are the most important, but trust me when I say that this one really is. Or if not the most important than for sure one of the most helpful notes.

Some things you should think about before asking around for a Beta Reader:

Are you after a critical analysis, or a cheerleader?

Is there a time restraint?

Is your writing in the final stages, or are after ideas?

What are you needing checks for? (these are some common ones)

SPaG

Britpicking

Flow and pace

Plot holes

Sentence structure and wording

Canon accuracy

Realistic dialogue

How you’re going to talk to them throughout the process

What content warnings you may need to give

The word count. (less something you have to think about, but definitely something you’ll need to communicate)

Once you think you have a general idea of what you’re after, then you need to actually tell your Beta Reader. They’re not mind-readers. This is really the most helpful information to receive as a Beta Reader.

If you have no clue what you’re really after then that is okay, just say that! You can ask your Beta what they think needs work… If they’re a regular Beta or have done it a couple of times then they’ll probably have a pretty good sense.

Communicate!

I’m trying not to be a Google Docs advertisement here but seriously, it is amazing! You can see each other in the doc, in real-time! There is a chat function in the top-right corner. Maybe I need to write a Google Docs fan piece. (*Writes that down in my notes*)

If your Beta corrected something and you don’t know why,  having the ability to point it out and ask why is great! Talking things through and having someone to bounce ideas off of is one of my favorite parts of having Beta Readers!

It is also important that you be open and honest with them, if you have a preference for a certain platform then tell them! If you’re both going around in circles saying ‘oh, I don’t mind,’ then nothing is getting done, is it?

If you’re having issues in your personal life and can’t devote as much time to writing or looking over things with them, then tell your Beta that. Don’t ghost. Talk.

Commit to your story.

Be passionate! Care about your story! You don’t have to be in love with every aspect, you can not love it in general for all I care… But there has to be some sort of attachment to it, because if you don’t care about your own story, then why should I?

While there are different types of Beta Readers, for the most part, if you’re asking for someone to look over your work then you’re usually not far off posting. If that is the case then please do so! Or at the very least tell your Beta Reader

Don’t make us feel excited about the fic and never finish or publish it! If there is a valid reason then that’s okay, but really, if you’re looking for a Beta Reader you should either let them know that you may never finish it, or that you may not publish.

I am 100% guilty of this. And I am sorry to my friend A. who is still waiting for me to write an ending. I’ll get there, I promise!

If a reader says no, or drops out, don’t get angry at them.

Please! Things happen. Don’t get angry, it just makes everyone feel worse in a situation no-one is happy with to start. Besides, if you get mad then it is a pretty easy way to make sure they won’t come back or Beta for you again.

You’re allowed to say no, too.

This is my favorite note. This applies to everything in life, and sometimes it can be difficult to remember that you’re always allowed to say no.

If you put out the details of a fic and say you’re after a beta Reader, you’re allowed to say no to anyone who puts their hand up. As a matter of fact, I recommend it! It is your fic, your writing, your baby. While it is nice to help out people who’ve never Beta read before it is also important that you feel comfortable with the person who is about to be looking at your writing. (Especially with the amount of self-projection I put into my fics.)

You’re allowed to say no to suggestions. If your Beta Reader gets offended that you’re not accepting all of their suggestions then I would be questioning if they’re the right fit for you. I always recommend you read through every suggestion and think about them before accepting or rejecting them.

You’re allowed to say no to a Beta in the middle of them going through your document, (just tell them first.) It is your creation, and you should always feel safe and comfortable with whoever is looking at your rough, unfinished work.

You’re allowed to say no to anything and everything.

Don’t say ‘I don’t take criticism well’ to your Beta.

It is perfectly valid not to take con-crit (constructive criticism) well; I certainly don’t. The point of a Beta is to give you con-crit to help you improve. It is okay to have feelings about your writing; I am very sensitive about everything I write. But if you’re asking for a Beta Reader, then that is what you’re asking for. You can tell your Beta if you’re more after cheerleading or critical analysis, or maybe a bit of both. (Always communicate what you’re after.)

But if you tell your chosen Beta that you’re not good at taking con-crit, then it can put them in a tough spot; they may feel like to be able to help you then they have to hurt you, and I don’t think anyone ever wants to feel like that. And for me, if it is a choice between hurting my friends or leaving them. Then there is no choice, I will leave.

If you’ve already told them in another context that you’re not good at taking con-crit and they are worried, then tell them that there is a difference between unsolicited con-crit and asking for it. A big difference.

Stan our beloved Beta Readers.

I know someone who records themself reading the document and correcting things as they think of them. That is pretty gosh darn cool! I wasn’t sure where to put that… but I think it is important to say that writing and Beta Reading, they’re fun! That is the whole point, so have fun! Chat about your creation and as I frequently do, gush about the characters! Talk about your favorite lines! Because you’re allowed to love and be proud of your work. I recommend it, it is such a lovely feeling.

We stan our Beta Readers. They give us so much help and encouragement; help us learn and grow. I hope that every passionate writer finds a Beta Reader just as passionate. Because making friends, to me, is the best feeling in the world.