#i will not go fishing tho dw i love fish too much for that shit

[harrylights]

like get outta here that is a whole ass dyke boygirlfriend!!!!!

[weixuldo]

Enigma// ch 13

anakin x reader

a/n: sorry for the wait!!! i started a summer job and i’ve been hellllllaaaa busy lol- dw tho, im still writing!!

You have a relaxing dinner with Ahsoka until the end of the year approaches

warnings: cursing, cannon disabled character, insecurity, mention of periods, possible pregnancy mention,

_______________________________

More time passed and you prepped for finals; luckily this year you were able to exempt most of your sit in exams and instead only had one big project and a 20 page thesis due. 

You had been feeling nauseous for the past few days but the 20 page paper’s deadline was looming over you, so it was probably the stress from that. You also hadn’t had much time to eat, so you could also just be hungry. 

You ignored the feeling and went back to typing.

The paper was almost done, only two more pages then you were free for the weekend.. Just two more.

Ring Ring

Ahsoka was calling, you finished the sentence you were on before picking up the phone.

“Hey”

Hey hey! Are you busy tonight?

“I should be free after one more page of this thing”

Damn! Congrats! You've been at that shit since mid terms! I think that deserves celebration!

You laughed, hopefully she wasn’t proposing a party because you weren't quite feeling up to that.

“What do you have in mind?”

I dunno… wanna  just grab take out and eat it by the koi pond? I kinda just want a chill night before I have to start practice for nationals. 

“That sounds wonderful”

Cool! I'll see you at 6:30?

“Sounds good to me!”

Oki bye bye!

The end of the line clicked as she hung up and a small smile settled onto your face; even though you hadn’t known Ahsoka that long, the two of you just clicked and were almost always on the same wavelength.

Some of you wanted to tell her about Anakin, but you just felt like at this point it would add drama to the already stressful end of the year. 

You were seen as the baby of the friend group, so you wouldn’t know how they would feel if you and Anakin officially confirmed the relationship…Also Ahsoka could be a little dramatic at times and you were afraid she would become too involved and make jokes or treat you and Ani differently.

And you had known Anakin long enough to know that those small changes would piss him off and he might accidentally take it out on the relationship.

You got back to your computer when you got a really bad cramp in your abdomen. 

Oh fuck, you hadn’t gotten your period on its normal week so apparently its deciding to come now…great, something else to add to your delightful week.

You finally finished your paper and let out a long groan as you stretched your back. You grabbed your keys and headed down to meet Ahsoka outside the dorms. Once the two of you met up and got your food, you walked to the koi pond on the northern side of campus. 

The sun was setting and the sky was a mixture of beautiful oranges and pinks; you took a seat on the iron bench that overlooked the gardens surrounding the koi pond. 

“This is so nice, I needed to chill,” Ahsoka said, breaking apart the cheap wooden chopsticks that came with her bento box. 

“Yea, I feel ya” you said opening the box of lo mein you ordered. 

“Ya know, I cant believe i’m gonna be graduating in just a few weeks… Like what the actual fuck, I swear I was just a freshman like two weeks ago” Ahsoka baffled as she watched the fish swim laps around the pond. 

“Oh yea, I wanted to get a brunch with all of us next sunday before I have to go to nationals, would you be able to come?” she added.

“Yes! I’d love to” you responded, before remembering that would be one of the last times you would see her before her graduation. 

“I’m going to miss you so much Ahsoka” you said sadly, “Will you keep in touch?”

“Does a fish need water? Of course y/n!” she smiled; “you’re my best girl friend; sure sky guy and Ben are nice, but they're not another girl. And I like Satine alot, but she's older and in a totally different place in life than us, ya know?” 

“Yea, I’m glad we met too” you smiled. 

You conversed over random topics and future plans-

“Do you think you’ll party a lot next year?” she asked you

“Hmm, I don’t think so” 

“Why not? Don’t you wanna find a partner or atleast a hook-up?” She asked, biting down on her last California roll.

“I’m actually pretty content, I think most of my party phase was exhausted freshman and sophomore year” 

“Yea, I get it, I really only kept going out cause the team likes to go to the big parties. Kinda changing topics though, are you interested in anyone this year?”

You froze for a split second before bringing the noodles to your mouth, “Not really, I mean I’ve been seeing this guy off campus, but I wanna keep it on the dl and so does he” you responded (you didn’t have the heart to completely lie to her).

“Ooo, is he cute? How old is he? What's his name? Does he have socials? I gotta make sure he’s good enough for my girl”

“Hah, that's a lot. Umm, I think he's cute, he doesn’t use social media much, and he’s just a bit older” (yeah right, more like twice your age).

“Ok….what's his name?” she asked again, a devious grin on her face.

You smiled and looked away, “Ahsoka, I love you, but I can't tell you, I promised him we’d keep it under wraps… He’s a very private person” 

“Do I know him?” she definitely was gonna guess it if she kept at the questions.

You took all the power you could to construct a final lie, “no, I met him on a dating app”.

“Oh, never mind I guess, I’m happy for you!”

Phew.

You were not practiced in lying.

“Thanks, I really like him… I think I may be in love…I’ve never felt this way before” you smiled. 

“That’s amazing, y/n. Will I meet him some day?”

“Of course” 

The rest of dinner was pleasant, until your stomach started hurting again.

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing, I think I'm just gonna get my period soon” you said.

“Wait, shouldn’t you have gotten it like two weeks ago?”

Huh?

“Yea, remember, we’re kind of synced, You’ve been starting yours half way through my cycle since like September”

“Oh, I think it's just late from the stress”

“Hopefully so” she laughed, “Wouldn’t want that mystery man to have knocked you up”. 

She was joking, but something in you became worried… it had been a long time since your last period… and you and Anakin had been pretty busy…but wait

Anakin couldn’t have kids. 

The doctors said so.

But what if…

You shook the thoughts from your head and asked Ahsoka if she would come with you to the drug store to pick up some tums for the stomach ache.

She went off to go look at the shampoo because she needed some more and you sneaked off to grab a pregnancy test.

While you were in line you decided to update your boyfriend on the night’s conversation

“Hey babe, just fyi Ahsoka was asking about who i was seeing so i lied and said a guy from tinder, just wanted to lyk”

In no time your phone buzzed

Alright, thanks for covering, have a good night princess.

“Goodnight my love”

___________________________________

The week went by and you only had the project to finish. Most of your academic stress was subsided, but your personal stress grew by the day.

You hadn't opened the pregnancy test you got last week… you couldn’t bring yourself to.

or

Maybe it was because you hadn't had time…

oh who were you kidding? 

You were scared. 

But if you were pregnant, you should probably find out soon. Right?

Right.

You went into the bathroom and locked the door.

This was it.

The moment of truth.

***

a/n: so this ch was more of a filler to get to the next few chapters…. the plot is thickening and i hope your interest stays!! ty again for reading :)

taglist: : @dnamht @sxoulohvn @angeelcoree @wtf-andys @httpeachesblog @katsukiswrld @jetiikote @poisonedsultana

[live-love-laugh-lesbian]

OMG hiiii dw abt it at all! your answer is long enough and im so sorry :( i hope you feel better now/soon!!

thank youu omg well im in my first year so we do a bit of everything! some coding like coding websites and stuff and some written computer problems as well! (i would explain but it's kinda hard to and i suck at explaining so asdhkjasdhjh) its a bit of everything! programming (practical) and theory!

ahsdjkahsdkj owning two trousers is so real lmao i think i only own one pair ajskldsjad and they are flared so not fit for all weathers ajksdhkjsah they sound sooo cute! if you wouldnt mind sharing them, i'd love to see them! but thats totally up to you! i dont want to make you uncomfortable at all so the choice is yours! im just a lil nosy hehe

omg same when i was a kid i once ate like an entire chocolate egg in a day! the time after that was hell i was sooo sick but its worthh itttttt and yes exactly!! like whenever i was young i had school assemblies and they were all like 'i dont play to draw i play to win' and like yeah so real! as long as no ones too mean and harsh while being competitive then go nuts! i love a little competition!! stardew valley is more of like a relaxing game for me! also animal crossing but like i get so frustrated when i cant catch a fish asjkdhaskj fishing is HELLLLLL in animal crossing alksdjlksj

awww thank youu! your hair sounds beautiful the compliments are most definitely soo valid! my hair never reached that point when i was young tho bc its like SOOOO frizzy and fluffy it almost grows outwards rather than down askjdhkasjh so it was always kinda short and super fluffy ajsdskjh

i think stuff abt the modern day world i really hate is that almost everyones so pretentious nowadays like you see someone and youre like oh theyre nice speaking out abt this and turns out that its all hypocritical and shit but also that feels like its not exactly modern? so ill give another answer and that is INFLATION! everything nowadays is soooo expensive oh my god! and yes governments is so reall

hmm, smth in the next five years... this is sooo not related at all and im totally twisting the meaning of your question but my online friends ajsdhkajsdh okay but serious answer? i wish to see less labour! like yk sites that use fast fashion and stuff that force labour onto people and children and i want that to be addressed and reduced bc like. no. labour is bad how is it acceptable for people to pay such horrible wages to their workers who make them so much money!! that feels so cruel! what about you?

and my question for you: what is something in/from a person that makes them absolutely unacceptable in your eyes? (i dont think that makes sense lmao) basically if you were friends w someone, whats one thing they could do to make you immediately see them as a red flag or like not like them/block them immediately (apart from them saying the r word!)

byee have an awesome day!

-swiftie spring exchange anon!

Hello again! I am doing better atm - I've basically had like, one long bug for three weeks, and like...I'd start feeling better. Go to work. Get worse from the exertion. Have to miss work. Get better slightly, so go to work...yeah XD I do seem to be on the mend now, I've just got a bit of residual pain and cough, and some of my underlying issues are being a bit unpleasant. But I'm taking it XD I had to take almost a week off work last week but I think the prolonged rest helped.

And hey that sounds really cool though!! So guessing you're in uni then? How's that going? Where I am it's starting to come up to exam season, so the people that I know are in uni at the moment are all quite stressed, bless them.

I don't mind showing you them like, privately, but due to my style being quite...unique (by courtsey of making a lot of it) I try to keep it off public tumblr to some extent, just because anyone who knows me would know immediately this was me. Tbh it's not a big deal if they did, but since I work with kids I feel the need to be more careful with social media these days.

And ok but see, I have very straight hair, and I've always wanted frizzy/fluffy hair!! Sometimes I fear we just want what we don't have XD

I think the hypocrisy is related to the modern world however! Social media kinda encourages a very black and white thinking of things, and most things are not so black and white (I mean like, obviously if someone's like. "Haha, I want to murder babies"...that's not a black and white issue. But you get me XD) So you end up with people being like "x is always bad". Then they'll later be like..."this thing that's basically x is fine"?

Inflation is SHIT. Look when I moved into my current place my phone bill was exactly 10 quid a month. It's not like 13 something!! It's not the biggest hike, my energy bill has freaking doubled, but by nature of it starting at a solid 10 I can see the inflation so much easier. It's a 30% increase!!

And see I am very lucky, I have seen a few online friends! My gf and I met through tumblr, and I've got two close friends that by thankful virtue of being in the same country I've been able to meet quite a few times...I met one who I've since lost contact with sadly, but I'm hoping to meet a couple more! OH and one is in a ldr with one of my close friends so I'll see her when she comes here (well I should do) but idk when that would be yet.

And look I have SO many fast fashion complaints. A big reason why I do so much thrifting and sewing is because I just hate fast fashion. I know it's sorta popular in some circles to talk about the shit quality, but it's shit because companies are paying people like a penny a piece for it -.- I refuse to use places like shein and temu...

I think in the next five years...generally I'm wanting to see a shift in climate change. I have a lot of climate anxiety, and I'm hoping that we start getting actual change in how politicians and companies approach the issues?? I want more eco changes. More bikes, cheaper plant based food, less fossil fuels, etc...I also want my government to stop making life harder for no reason. They recently decided people who have visas to work in the care industry over here can't have their kids come from overseas too?? Like there are people who now have their kids in other countries cause of this shit??? If they're working here, they deserve their kids to be here. How is that not the default idea!!

Less generally, I'm hoping to see improvements in my personal life XD I want to see a couple doctors to get some shit sorted out, and I want to improve my art further, and sort out where exactly I'm going with my career.

And nah that makes perfect sense! Honestly I'm a bit of a pushover, I'll take a lot from people. I think mainly the things that will really make me go. Hm. I mean, if you're outright a really terrible person (like if you told me you murder babies for fun, to use my "terrible person" example from above XD) I'm not gonna be interested in talking to you, but that's kinda obvious. But I think the things that make me go "red flag" are usually more personal things based on past experience. For example, I knew someone once who would move my mobility aids away from me, and I'd be like...right well I can't. Move now. Please give them back. And they're one of the few people I've cut contact with. But tbh I feel like I probably need more boundaries, I just get like...what if I'm being too harsh on this person XD

What about you tho??

See you again soon, hope your day has been well when you see this!!

EDIT: I forgot to ask a question back!! D: If you could make one trivial change to the world what would it be? Has to be something small, like...renaming strawberries to be fluffleberries, or making bananas rainbow XD

[violescent-scrolls]

Beach Days With The Genshin Characters!

Wc:1.7k

Type: Headcanons

CW: umm nothing except mentions of alcohol and maybe some people being creeps? (Dw tho none of the chars or you is doing the creeping and it’s really brief

A/N: These we’re supposed to be a lot shorter but I got too excited and here we are lmao. If you wanna see some of your favs in this scenario lmk! Requests are currently open (and not just for this one prompt! Also! Repost from my old blog!

♡Diluc:

This man cannot swim. Tell me otherwise, I dare you.

Kaeya tried to jokingly push him off a lil diving cliff area when they were kids.

He almost drowned. Kaeya was in a lot of trouble.

So, good luck getting this man to actually get in the water. The most he’ll do is sit on the shore where it’s very shallow.

He usually prefers to just stay under an umbrella on the sand and keep an eye on you.

Calls you every two hours in advance and helps you reapply sunscreen.

He’s very pale so I feel like he burns pretty easily, meaning he needs to reapply super frequently otherwise he will become a tomato. He brings like three bottles of the good shit. Tch, rich boy.

If you ask him to build a sandcastle, he will pretend to be annoyed but do it anyways. Ends up finding it kind of enjoyable.

He has the maids prepare a nice picnic basket for the two of you!! It’s got all your favorite foods plus grape juice cuz y’know.

If any creepy peeps approach you, don’t worry. He brought his vision and his claymore.

Of course, he won’t have to resort to such violent lengths. Everyone in Mondstadt knows who Diluc is and they probably know you’re his s/o, so they’re usually smart enough to mind their own business.

If they don’t, don’t worry. Diluc’s glare is more than enough to scare them away.

All in all I definitely recommend a beach day with him! I’ll give it a solid 8/10 (-2 for not wearing floaties and getting in the water with you or letting you teach him how to swim.

♡Albedo:

You guys definitely 100% take Klee out with you on a beach day.

You guys bring snacks, beach toys like buckets and shovels for optimal sandcastle building, a picnic blanket, etc.

Jean definitely packs a lot more stuff for you guys to take with you than you actually need.

It’s only cuz she’s worried for Klee and is nervous about not being able to go with you guys though! It’s very sweet really.

Klee tries to bomb the fish and cause havoc at the beach 😭

I think Albedo is a good swimmer and gets in with you and Klee so that he can help her (which is very cute omfg)

He’s set total workaholic, as we know, so it took a lot of convincing to get him to put down his experiments and accompany you to the beach (however, he’s particularly weak to yours and klee’s puppy dog eyes so he caved eventually)

Though, looking at you and Klee happily building sandcastles and decorating them with pretty seashells of all shapes and colors, he can’t really find it in himself to complain.

He, of course, takes this opportunity to take out his sketchbook and draw the waves, seagulls, you… Of course he won’t let you see the sketch book no sir. He’s a bit embarrassed to be honest, but an artist such as himself recognizes beauty when he sees it so he simply had to draw you. (God I love him so much)

If a creepy person approaches you,- well don’t worry. The sight of a small arsonist child blowing up fish is enough to scare them away 🥰

At the end of the day, all three of you are all ticketed out. Albedo has to carry Klee back to Mondstadt because the poor baby fell asleep the moment you started drying her hair with the beach towel. You’re, of course, carrying back Dodoco and your bags. (You also manage to sneak a peak at Albedo’s sketchbook and find some very pretty drawings of you and Klee with your sandcastle)

At the end of the day, you guys tuck Klee in and read her a bedtime story (she woke up and insisted). Afterwards Albedo takes you back home and thanks you for coming with you and Klee (which you ofc say wasn’t a problem because how could you not???)

All in all? I’ll give it a solid 10/10. You’ve got tasty food, fun times, your boyfriend and his cute kid adoptive sister (yes I am very biased idc)

♡Xiao:

I think it would take a lot of convincing to get Xiao to go out on a beach date with you.

He’ll probably see it as a distraction getting in the way of his slaying of monsters and demons.

However, he also worships the grounds you walk on (hehe, simp XD), so I don’t think it’ll take that much convincing on your part (especially because it’s is self appointed duty to keep you safe so if you insist on going with or without him, he supposes he’ll have to go)

Is definitely a bit tense at first. He doesn’t know how to let loose and chill so while you’re sun tanning on a beach chair he’s like 🧍‍♂️ahdgshjsjd

Eventually calms down a bit though! You get him to relax and eat some almond tofu you brought along with you. It definitely gets him to perk up.

I don’t think he would mind getting into the water but I do think he’d rather walk along the shore and collect pretty seashells and sea glass.

He later gives the ones he deems pretties to you (he hands them over to you with a blush on his face and pretends it’s not a big deal and he definitely gets all pouty and grouchy when you coo at how adorable he is)

As for creeps, Xiao is both intimidating and well known in Liyue. No one is brave enough (or, let’s be honest, dumb enough) to approach you with any bad intentions.

Sure, Xiao has sworn never to harm a human/citizen of Liyue but that doesn’t mean he can’t scare the absolute shit out of them.

I think Xiao would definitely enjoy a beach day 🥺🥺. He’d find it very relaxing to go out with you and just hear the sound of waves and feel the sand under his feet.

He’d definitely hint at wanting to do it again later. Of course, he won’t tell you. No, that’s a foolish mortal activity and he has much better things to do.

Wait no, don't turn around, yes he will go with you next month.

All in all, I give Xiao a 9/10. It’s a very relaxing day (which he deserves 😤). And you get to see a whole new side of him.

♡Ningguang:

OK SO ORIGINALLY I WASN'T GONNA WRITE ONE FOR HER (at least not in this post) BUT THEN I THOUGHT OF LADY NINGGUANG TAKING YOU TO A WHOLE ASS PRIVATE BEACH

She knows you don’t care about how exclusive the beach you go to is (in fact, the fact that you don’t care about where you are or what you do is one of the things that make her fall more and more madly in love with you) but you deserve the best so she’s gonna go all out.

She’s a busy lady so days like this where the two of you get to go somewhere and be together are few and far between.

She knows it’s hard to be in a relationship with someone who is busy 24/7, so she appreciates how you remain by her side despite all hardships. (Y’all are a whole ass power couple istg)

The two of you spend your day relaxing. Sun bathing, drinking piña coladas, maybe taking a dip in the ocean. It’s all very pleasant!

Ningguang doesn’t quite feel like the type of person who would sit in the sand and make sandcastle, however you’re more than welcome to make some yourself. She finds it endearing <3

If you insist on her helping, she’ll eventually comply. She loves you too much to say no. I feel like she’ll either be terrible at it or like a total architect.

Sand is technically like tiny rocks right? So maybe she can use her vision to help her? If that’s the case, she’s making a replica of the Jade chamber out of sand.

If any creepy person comes up to you don’t worry. Ningguang will buy the whole beach and then use her right of admission as owner to permanently ban them from the beach you’re at.

The only downside to a day at the beach with Ningguang might be that there’s a big chance she’ll be called to tend urgent matters, seeing as she is the Tianquan of the Liyue Qixing and all.

If that does happen, she’ll be sure to make it up to you somehow, whether it be rescheduling or taking care of the matter as soon as possible so that the two of you can get back to your day of relaxation and fun.

All in all?? Lady Ningguang will treat you like total royalty and the two of you will have an amazing time! I give her an 11/10 (she would literally buy a whole beach for you to be comfortable I mean c’mon)

♡Venti:

BEACH DAYS WITH HIM ARE SO FUN!!

Swimming? Yeah, he’d love to! Sunbathing? Sure! He’ll even conjure up a light breeze for the two of you. Sandcastle building? WELL OF COURSE WHY DO YOU THING HE BROUGHT ALL THESE BUCKETS AND SHOVELS?

No but seriously, he might be the best person out of everyone here to go to the beach with. He’s fun, free spirited, and he’s a traveling bard who’s been alive long enough to know where all the best beaches in Teyvat are. (He also knows a guy- er, well, dragon I suppose- who is willing to fly them to any place).

He’ll play some soft tunes while you doze under the sun.

HE PICKS PRETTY SHELLS AND GIFTS THEM TO YOU!!!

He will bring booze. I’m pretty sure this is a necessity. If you’re a little upset about it, he’ll probably “eheh~” his way out of it. That slick bastard.

If you really insist on him not drinking, he won’t consume much alcohol.

If some creepy person approaches you and tries to ruin you your day of beach time fun, all of their stuff will suddenly be blown away, causing them to scramble back to their spot and (almost embarrassingly) flail around trying to catch everything. What a shame…

At the end of the day, he’d be a little sad to leave. Definitely makes plans about tbe two of you going back soon.

I gotta give him a 10/10 he’s just so fun omg.

Thanks for reading! Likes, reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!

[cognitosclowns]

the gang with like. a S/O with an almost overwhelming amount of pets, that's always covered in fur?? like, not JUST cats and dogs, but anything you can imagine... some are probably illegal???? they have snakes and spiders, mice, fish, a whole ass racoon they found in the dumpster?? managed to get a turtle and sea creatures too. you walk into their house n it's just.. a zoo.

AWEEEEE <3333

SFW THIS IS SO CUTE!! Wrote as X Reader just bc it's easier for my poor little pea brain

Gigi

STARTING WITH HER BC. I HC HER ALSO BEING A COLLECTOR OF ANIMALS. AND I LOVE HER DEARLY.

we see that her right swipe profile she's sitting on a tiger and I just. I'm obsessed with the idea that she has a shit ton of pets that she loves so dearly <33

PLEASE you and her probably ended up becoming friends from swapping animal care tips + design ideas,, and it just,, grew from there. mwa mwa mwa.

MSNDS DW ABOUT OWNING ILLEGAL PETS SO DOES SHE. She 10000% has a crocodile. they're so big and dangerous and absolutely gorgeous.

SHE LOVES PUPPIES SHE LOVES PUPPIES IF YOU HAVE PUPPIES SHES GONNA CRY.

You know how Rafe was like 'oooo you have no tells so mysterious you're hiding so much' NO that goes out the window when she sees a pubby. She is screaming in lowercase and making Scrunchy Hands at it

Usually she's super particular about stuff touching her outfits (they're expensive and she hate having to replace stuff) but. when she sees an animal. no she doesn't care anymore smdnsmd

AAA <3333 you and her strolling through her private aviary,,,, her gifting you a bird to take home <33 probably one of her favorite doves, for the symbolism <333

Reagan

she is. very concerned about the logistics of this,, how do you find the time to take care of them all she could never MSDNSMD

She definitely prefers more,, independent animals? Lizards, cats.

That isn't to say she'll be mean or anything to more affectionate animals, she just isn't as fond of super energetic dogs getting all up-close.

(she does think they're super cute running around <3 from a distance smdnsmd she'll absolutely curl up on the couch and watch your doggies play)

Her face scrunches up when she sees your turtles. hm. unpleasant memories.

<3 when she's stumped on smth, she talks to your fish. The lights are all super dim and soothing, and it's nice to talk to smth that doesn't talk back!!

they're also super nice for when she can't sleep - just going into the basement, sitting on that cozy couch, sprinkling in a bit of food. Cozying up to watch them swim around until she can drift off,,, <333

MAYBE,, even you sitting next to her,, rubbing her hand until she's off <33

JR

not a fan of dogs - Rand sicced one on him when they were younger. 0/10, you might be able to warm him up to the puppies but,, he still gets pretty jumpy around full-grown dogs

Definitely prefers cuddling up with one of your kitties <33333

OH you know this prissy little rich boy is gonna buy you your own zoo. like a PROPER zoo that's solely yours that you can,, visit whenever <3333

yeah it's a little extra but shh gifts are his love language MSNDSMD.

He'll constantly offer to get you new stuff for them, even as you insist 'everything still works perfectly, there's no need to replace it'

HES STUBBORN THO SO YOU'LL GET AT LEAST,, A FEW THINGS GET SWAPPED BEHIND YOUR BACK. It's ok everything works way better now

OH if you have a fish pond that's gonna be his jam. Sitting out there, tossing in feed... feeling them suck on his fingers all stupidly,, <3333

aaa <33 you joining him out there, quietly talking about your days <3 his work clothes a little undone, looking all peaceful and happy <333 gbrbrbrbrbr menfolk SORRY SORRY NEXT PERSON

Brett

Watching Brett interact with a dog is like. reintroducing a rescue animal to its pack MSNDSM

LIKE HE GETS ON THE GROUND AND SCRAMBLES AROUND ON HIS HANDS AN KNEES WITH THEM AND EVERYTHING. HES SO CUTE AND INTO IT. HE LOVES PLAYING WITH ANIMALS.

He isn't afraid of bugs!! or spiders or rats!! He finds all animals so cute. He used to talk to the spiders in his room when he was younger :')

PLEASE <333 he gasps whenever he sees your pets. he will become best friends with all of them before the day is up. You've been betrayed they love him so much now.

problem they all go BATSHIT WHEN HE APPEARS.

HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TO BE IN EYELINE THEY KNOW HIS SMELL YOU CAN HEAR EM ZOOMING FROM DOWN THE HALL.

THE HOUSE SOUNDS LIKE A ZOO SERIOUSLY EVERY BEASTIE STARTS SHRIEKING.

HE GETS ABSOLUTELY TACKLED whenever he visits. He's learned to jump outta the way bc otherwise he's gonna get absolutely Stampeded lmao.

GOD the cuddle piles. He will literally just lay on the floor and the animals will flop on top of him. He dissolves into giggles, but that doesn't deter them. Truly the most disney princess ever.

Andre

OH YOU KNOW HE'S RUNNING AROUND LIKE A KID IN A CANDY SHOP

He loves animals he double loves FUNKY animals. Lizards Reptiles Bugs Snakes Weird Fish

HE WAS TOTALLY A DINOSAUR KID. Watches the og Jurassic Park obsessively, that was totally his jam - loves your birdies and lizards <3333

he 1000% will swap cool fact with you >:) he got his bachelors in biology babey!! He's a smart guy and nothing's more fun than talking Science with his baby <3

sigh. yes he makes a Pussy joke when you introduce him to your cats. yes he has that shit-eating grin on his face. yes you love him MSNDMSD

Expect to find him. just. sitting in front of the gecko enclosure staring head on at them.

'we're communicating'

'you aren't communicating shit'

'we're communicating'

MSNDMSND he's chaos and will absolutely help you with chores. He might even collect Samples (nothing harmful, ofc) from em to make New Funky Shit (tm) in his labs - it's great to have fresh options available!!

Myc

He's learned not to question your shenanigans at this point MSNDSMD when he sees you smuggling Test Animals out in tote bags he just grabs a basket and starts grabbing gerbils. Partner in crime babey

ohhhh dogs don't like myc dogs do not like myc nononono

cats too. most mammals seem to have an Aversion to him. They won't outright attack, but they get super pissy. Something about his scent.

it's fine tho bc he isn't a fan of em either - fur, yknow? Doesn't mix well with gooey tentacles

it's the DEAD opposite for your fish - they follow him around and crowd the corners of the tank trying to reach him when he comes over. He absolutely messes with them a little, moving from side-to-side of the tank and watching them scramble around.

yes he'll read your pets minds if you pester him enough. They don't think in the same Format as humans - it's more Vibes Based than actual coherent thoughts.

FUCK BUGS FUCK BUGS FUCK BUGS ABSOLUTELY FUCK BUGS

he's gonna scale you like a fucking tree if he sees a spider. he doesn't even care if it's locked up, keep that shit away from him

He's definitely more of a,, lizard-fish-amphibian type of guy!! No fur to stick to his tendrils, low-maintenance, doesn't mistake his tentacles for chewtoys

Glenn

he misses petting dogs

HE LOVES SEEIN EM THOUGH

esp bc he had,, a bunch of different dogs growing up to help with the farm <333 he's got such a southern boy softspot for em

AAA <333 if you mention loving fish. expect his face to go pink

he knows you didnt mean it like that he knows you didnt mean it like that but it doesn't matter it's in his head now and it's never getting out. Doesn't even matter if you're dating his brain is latching onto that so hard

FUCK BUGS PART 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

you'd think smb who was literally in the army wouldn't be afraid of bugs but NOPE HE WILL JUMP OUTTA HIS SKIN IF HE SEES YOUR TARANTULAS

on a similar note. please keep cats away from him they will eat him. like EAT him they will hunt this man for sport i stg MSNDMSD

AAA <333 IF YOU HAVE LIKE,, FARM ANIMALS??? like cows sheep chickens piggies?? HOGS??

the fucking nostalgia knocks him OUT he has been in the city too long. please let him help you with chores, he's missed it so much

Alpha-Beta

hush don't think about the how

He's. actually kinda impressed? quietly tho he has appearances to keep up. You'll see those clever little eyes dancing around the tanks, the

PLEASE you know he'd pretend to be all High and Mighty 'oh animals only love you for your food' but the SECOND you turn your back this silly bastard is gonna be cooing over one of the kitties that are rubbing against his leg.

He's gonna,, a bit hesitant to pet them at first because Oh Fuck It Is So Fragile And I Am So Strong, but after you shove a puppy into his arms. He Is Fine He Is Content.

literally just sit this man with a small animal he will be absolutely entraptured it's delightful

OH I can absolutely see him giving you some extra care tips. Babey he's got the whole internet in his brain he's,, absolutely got some Super Niche Info to improve your pets quality of life.

He's so,, warm and his body hums a bit,,, like the purr of a cat,, it draws them to him.

the first two he's calm, then 5, then 7, then the whole bundle is curled up against him and he looks absolutely Distressed smmdsdnms

AAA <333 this was so cute and soft <33 lmk if you had smth else in mind, and feel free to add more ideas!!

[rightsockjin]

Summary: Your best friend of your near entire life has been a total asshat to you ever since you started to casually date which didn't seem super fair to you since he did the exact same thing and you were nothing but supportive! It just sucks that you two are growing apart over a coping mechanism that you adopted to distract yourself from your overwhelming crush on said idiot. If only he knew. Wait- did you say that OUT LOUD?

Rating: M (What isn't on this blog?)

Genre: Maybe a little angst? Smut for sure tho.

Word count: 8003

Warnings: Thongs, sex, lewd thoughts, erections, physical pushing, raw dogging, cream pie, mentions of giving head, a looooooottt of swearing, mentions of slut shaming. Oh right- oppa kink and little splashes of korean as well.

yeo-chin= girlfriend

nam-chin= boyfriend

halmoni= grandma

apa=to hurt

aya=expression to express pain equivalent to 'ow'

Author’s note: HI EVERYONE! We are somewhat back!! So sorry for the long wait for content. Things have been insane and we’ve been working on a much- much longer fic for this blog which will involve all of the boys! It’s a long story but this hit me like a truck yesterday and it was initially meant to be a reaction but I couldn’t stop writing… so it’s 7k and the other boys will get their own version of this prompt “best friend is jealous of the attention you give to guys” thing. Starting once again with the one and only Yoongi! Hope y’all enjoy:)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You know it’s funny, I don’t remember asking,” Yoongi said virulently, his attention centered solely on his phone as he scrolled through instagram... or twitter... or maybe it was tinder. Your heart sank. You had been excited that this guy- Woojin- had given you attention. He was good looking by a lot of standards and it had boosted your confidence significantly. Of course, you wanted to share that excitement with your best friend. Rejecting someone that good looking always made you feel really powerful and attractive but you had barely shown him Woojin’s picture and commented on how attractive he was before your so called best friend had brushed you off and went back to his solitude and avoidance.

You had noticed that something was off for a while now but hadn’t commented on anything to avoid any conflicts but this was ridiculous. You had constantly listened to the stories of how girls would trickle in like water for him. He seemed to be going out with someone new every two weeks.

It wasn’t fair that you had to put up with his annoying descriptions of how beautiful these girls were while you sat and gave him your undivided attention as your heart slowly chipped and broke with each new conquest of his. Especially when each girl was so different from who you were. At first, you thought that maybe you were annoyed by this simply because it was hurtful to think he didn’t at least think you were pretty. It wasn’t long after that that you realized that it hurt you when he went out with women who were your polar opposite because it meant that he would never date you.

This had been shocking in itself. You had known Yoongi for your entire life, or at least a good portion of it, and you had always seen him as a brother. Your oppa in the least sexual or boyfriend-y form possible, but when you looked at him now… he was looking a lot more like well- an oppa.

Your mouth opened and closed like a fish. His words stung more than you would like to admit. Whenever Yoongi got this snippy, you liked to equal him in snip and double him in sass, never showing how vulnerable his disinterest made you feel, but this time, it felt like he had punched you in the chest with all his force and told you you were ugly to boot.

You didn’t want to cry in front of him either. He’d make fun of you. Last time you had cried, he’d awkwardly pat you on the head and quickly changed the very serious topic of your parents' relationship with yours to something totally different and not even a little relevant to helping you feel better. Given, that had been years ago and he’d never been very good at comforting you nor had he so much as expressed his support of you. Not since that one time when you had broken your wrist and he’d promptly pushed the girl who had been the culprit off the swing set thus getting himself suspended for a week and a half when you were both in elementary school.

But this… this was just cruel. It was ugly. It made you look at your “best friend” in a light that was not so shiny and pristine. He’d changed so much since then. He’d pulled away from you since then and you hadn’t even noticed. Or maybe you had and had just ignored it. Maybe you’d hoped if you didn’t mention it, that it would go away and he would come back full force with one of his dumb dances and pretty smiles. Maybe you hoped he’d realize soon what you had realized in your early twenties.

You loved him. And not the brotherly love that you had always had for him, no, you, Y/N, were very much in love with your best friend. Which made this whole situation so much worse.

When you said nothing, Yoongi briefly glanced up at you from his seemingly important phone conversation with most likely another of his soon to be dates only to look back down.

“What? Cat got your tongue? No snippy rebuttal? You’re not gonna chew me out for being mean to you again?”

His face was illuminated by the blue lights of his screen; he had it at the near darkest setting and his eyes were squinted to see it better. Something that had always annoyed you because you knew it was only hurting his vision.

You swallowed the lump in your throat. When that didn’t help, you cleared it, accidentally catching his attention. He clicked his phone off and looked over at you as if ready to argue but something in your face must have given away your inner turmoil because his hard features softened and his lips fell slightly open.

“Are you crying?”

No. Of course you weren’t crying. You never cried. Not ever. But then your cheeks were wet and the onslaught of emotion seemed to burst. How far had you fallen for this indefinitely cold man that his sarcasm made you fall in hysterics? Far it seemed. Too far.

You angrily wiped the tears away from your burning skin and crossed your arms over your chest. The hoodie you had stolen from him earlier that day felt like sandpaper against your skin as opposed to the comfort you’d initially felt when slipping over your head and smelling the fresh scent of his cologne clinging to it.

You felt him shift on the couch to face you fully, out of the corner of your eye, you could see his features had turned worried, alarmed even but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him nor care. Too little too late.

“Hey, Y/N, I’m sorry.”

The words hung in the still air like a wrong note played in a symphony. It made your head spin and ache.

You didn’t dare speak. It would only give away how truly hurt you were by his words and actions. You didn’t want to be around him anymore.

Abruptly, you stood up and yanked the hoodie from your body. The tank you had on pulled up slightly showing the skin of your belly. It was lopsided, you noted when you looked down and saw that one side was pulled over and under your bra and the other was too high on your chest but you didn’t really care.

Yoongi watched you with conflict evident in his eyes, if only you would turn to see. He hadn’t meant to offend you. He’d only been trying to keep you at arms length. You had also been going out with multiple guys, telling him how good looking and tall they all were. Most of these men were also built like rocks and he himself was toned at best. Contrary to what you thought, Yoongi had come to the realization that he’d been in love with you since you were kids. He did not tolerate when anyone made you feel like shit, and, being a very mature kid, he’d told his mother quite early on that he would marry you someday. Of course, she’d only chastised him and told him that he couldn’t possibly know what love was nor could he force you to marry him, but he was adamant.

He’d stopped telling her about it after that though, and instead of telling you how he felt, he’d opted instead to watch over you and make sure nothing happened. So when in high school, you had started to date and it had not been him whom you had chosen, he’d made sure to keep the sorry excuse of a man you had chosen in line. That was… until the incident.

Yoongi would never forgive himself for not being there. For not stopping the bastard who thought he owned you. He’d never forgive the idiot either and if you hadn’t stopped him, he would have killed him with his bare fists then stuffed his own socks in his mouth.

It was then that Yoongi realized that you deserved better than him, and at the same time, no one was worthy of you. It was a strange dynamic. He’d never once approved of your dates, but had decided to start dating other women because, let's face it, he was a guy and he’d like to have children someday but not even in his wildest dreams could he think that you would ever settle for him. Someone who’d failed you as your self imposed protector.

Not that you knew any of that. You didn’t know that Yoongi often teamed up with your other best friend, your girl best friend to scope out your dates once you’d left. You’d almost caught them once as well and it had been by pure luck and the hair of a very out of place clown that both of them had escaped your wrath that night. You also didn’t notice that after you had fully broken up with that first asshole, he’d threatened to beat him to a pulp if he so much as breathed in your direction once more and later, he’d threatened ‘asshole’ two and three with the same things.

But then your dates had gotten taller and stronger and much harder to intimidate. He’d once made the mistake of threatening a casual date that you’d set up who was at least a solid half foot taller than him and he’d been laughed out of the restaurant only to find out later that the jerk had forced a kiss on you.

No, Yoongi’s days as your protector had dwindled and left him feeling half of the man he’d already thought he was and so his only defense, his only way to keep you safe- though now that he was watching tears well in your eyes he wondered what logic he’d used to justify this behavior- was to be the asshole himself and teach you how to deal with them on a first hand basis.

He hated himself for making you cry. He hated that you looked so dejected and hurt and like you never wanted to speak another word to him again. He hated that your shoulders slumped and that your pretty eyelashes were coated in wet tears and it was all on him.

“You know what,” you finally managed to say with some semblance of calm under the storm that was brewing in the irises he’d so loved, “I think we’ve grown apart a little too much. Maybe we should just- cut our losses and,” you heaved a deep breath, trying to keep yourself calm, “stop seeing each other.”

Were you breaking up with him? How were you even going to break up with him if you weren’t even dating? Yoongi’s heart sank into the pit of his stomach. He had tunnel vision. All he could see was you and the way that you seemed to pull yourself up from the ground, rebuilding before his eyes.

“Stop see-what? Are you demented?”

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Was that all he was capable of being? Wrong. Incorrect. Inexact. Erroneous. Mistaken. He was plain stupid for the words he’d let slip but there was no taking them back now.

You let your eyes widen as you wiped more of your furiously falling tears from your skin. You turned to face him, your shirt fixed and covering you exactly how it should and your features set and intentional.

“What’s the point? You clearly don’t want to be around me anymore and I’m tired of being berated every time I mention a guy. You’re the most unsupportive friend I have and that’s because I’ve known you the longest. If you don’t want to be my friend just say so instead of slut shaming me and bullying me every chance you get you asshat.”

“Asshat,” he chuckled, crossing his sleeve-covered arms over his toned chest, “real clever, Y/N. Is that all you got, kid? You never were one for words were you? Why don’t you just sock me instead?”

Oh you were considering it. He seemed so unbothered by the prospect of losing you that you realized maybe you had already lost him and hadn’t realized. You had dealt with your fair share of jerks in your life, but you had always counted on Yoongi to be your hope. He’d shown you that there were men in the world that seemed to care about women. Men who could love you even when you felt unlovable, unworthy, but here he was, proving to you once again that all men were the same evil and vile creatures, incapable of love or kindness if they weren’t getting their dicks wet.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you? Then you could go around saying that I’m a crazy bitch. You know what? Fuck you Min Yoongi. I hope you get well and royally fucked.” You yelled, grabbing the tote bag you’d brought over from your apartment and stomping to the door.

“Fuck you too,” he yelled, following you to the door. He caught you at the landing strip, prying on your chunky sneakers with a bit of difficulty, your house slippers, the ones he’d bought you, lay haphazardly nearby.

“And fuck all of those asshole guys you keep bringing home. Better yet, I hope you don’t fuck them.”

You turned your head up to look at him, confusion and disgust written all over your face.

“What the fuck do my dates had to do with what a fucking jerk you are?”

Choosing to ignore your question, he focused instead on your insult, “A jerk, am I? Well you’re a bitch. How do you like that?”

He didn’t know why he was insulting you. He didn’t think you were actually a bitch, but the anger on your face made him feel better.

It was followed by near instant regret as you drew yourself up to your full height and looked at him with pure venom in your gaze.

“I’m a bitch?”

“Yeah,” he breathed, trying to keep his shoulders square, but you were scary when angry and he’d never fared well in fights with you.

“I’m the bitch?”

“You heard me!”

You balled your fists at your sides, your eyebrows connected in the center and your breathing was heavy. He knew better than to use the B-word.

“You’re a piece of shit.” It was low but your voice carried and hit all of the bones in his body before it hit his heart and burrowed deep in the wounds he’d stitched up but pulled open multiple times over the years that pertain only to you.

“You are a sorry excuse of a man,” you growled, pushing him by the chest. Somewhere in the back of your mind you noted that it felt really firm and stronger than before.

“You’re an ass, Min Yoongi,” you continued, giving him another push so that he stumbled slightly back into the living room of his apartment once again.

“You low life,” another push, closer to the couch, “weak minded,” you shoved him, he sidestepped the glass coffee table where your untouched coffee mugs still rested, probably cold by now, “son of a bitch, fucking baby, involved sorry excuse of a man-” He fell onto the cough. Your vision was red.

“You already used that insult.” Was all he said as you stood over him, your chest heaved with the exertion of trying to keep yourself from slapping the now blank expression from his face.

A slew of incomprehensible noises escaped from your lips as words completely left your brain. Damn him. Damn this idiot of a man that you were in love with. He could go to hell for all you cared and you hoped that the devil himself ripped his testicles off and served them on a platter with some kimchi and fried rice.

“Okay first of all- ow,” The asshole said, pulling you back to reality and not your fictitious rework where Yoongi was now sitting at the end of a long table being force fed his own balls, “And second…”

You held your breath. Fear ran down your spine. You hadn’t meant to say that out loud-

“You-you’re in love with me?”

Well… he got his wish, you were royally fucked. Instantly, you tried to back track. Your mind kept replaying in your head what you had said and tried to correct itself but you couldn’t think of anything that could possibly absolve you.

“Like a brother,” you said finally, your voice shaky and thin.

Yoongi only blinked up at you. What you said was bullshit and he knew it. You knew it too.

“You’re in love with me… like a brother?”

“Oppa,” you clarified as if that would somehow make more sense, and it did kind of, but it didn’t absolve you at all. In fact, this only made a smile tug at his lips, his pearly teeth suddenly on display, blinding. You fought the smile that threatened to pull at yours too. It was always hard because his smile was so contagious.

Yoongi stood. He was less than an inch away from your own body. You felt small, meek. You’d misstepped this big game of chess you seemed to be playing. He was going to make fun of you. He’d never let you live it down. You liked him.

“You like me,” as if he had read your mind, he echoed your thoughts, or maybe you had spoken that out loud as well.

“No I don’t,” you argued, taking a step back just so you could have some space to breathe.

“Oh yeah you do,” Yoongi argued, his smile so wide you were sure it would hurt the muscles in his cheeks

“No,” you said again, not really thinking anything you said at this point would convince him otherwise. The son of a bitch was stubborn.

“Admit it,” he said, closing the distance between you again, his neck craned down to look directly at your face.

“I don’t like you!” You tried to take another step back but the coffee table knocked your feet out from under you. You fell onto it knocking Yoongi’s mug of coffee over. The black decaf liquid seeped into your shorts.

Yoongi’s rusty laugh was pried from his throat as he watched your face contort. He was having the time of his life, it seemed. Good for him.

“Stop laughing at me,” you groaned, your cheeks red. You were practically sweating from how feverish you felt.

It was like you hadn’t spoken. Your shorts were wet and made you feel sticky. In a fit of anger, like a child throwing a tantrum, you unbuttoned the denim and ripped them from your legs. This shut Yoongi up instantly. With the soiled fabric, you cleaned up the liquid before it fell onto the light grey carpet.

Yoongi stilled as his eyes traveled up and down your long legs.The way you were twisting, he could see the back of your left thigh up to where it met your ass- your bare ass. You were wearing a thong.

God help him, he was rapidly getting hard. He forced his eyes away from you, his walls being pulled back up at seeing you naked. Well partially so. He pushed his hands into his oversized hoodie and made sure that it covered his front. The last thing he needed was for you to see.

But then you turned and pulled your legs together, your thighs squishing attractively. What he wouldn’t give to be choked by those thighs.

“Let me wash those for you,” he said tightly, pulling a hand from his hoodie to take the soiled shorts, the hem of the fabric pulled up enough for you to see exactly what he’d been trying to hide.

Yoongi had a hard on. You weren’t sure why exactly you were surprised. You were attractive, that much you knew, but you never really expected for your best friend to see you in that way. In fact, you were pretty sure that you’d been in your underwear in front of him before and he hadn’t even given you a second glance, but there was the evidence. And God was there a lot of evidence.

Slowly, you handed him the shorts. His hand grabbed them tightly, avoiding touching any part of your hand with his. Then, after a slight pause, he turned on his heels and walked towards the kitchen to put the shorts into the washer.

You’d called him oppa. You rarely called him oppa and it had hypersensitized him to the word coming from your lips. Other girls called him oppa sometimes and it had no effect on him but there he was, stiff as a board and it had something to do with you calling him oppa and your state of undress. Fuck. He was fucked. So fucked.

At least he wished he could be… But no. He pushed those thoughts from his head as he threw in some nice scented soaps into the wash and clicked it to life. He shut his eyes, trying to think of anything that would drain the blood from his member- halmeoni maybe?- but your voluptuous ass kept intruding, giving his halmeoni some nice curves that messed with her wrinkled face. He shook his head once more and decided he’d just have to hide his boner until it went away, or go beat one out in the restroom really quick.

He grabbed a pair of his clean sweat pants from the drying rack to give to you, just so you would be comfortable, he told himself, not because the thought of your naked butt in them made him unspeakably horny.

But when he got back to the living room, what he found was not you, covering yourself with a pillow like he’d expected, but you, only in your thong- fuck did it have to be a thong?- and your bra. Your shirt was nowhere to be seen.

“Fuck me,” he groaned, burring his head in his hands and turning away from you.

“I mean, if you ask nicely enough that can be arranged,” you answered rather boldly. There was no way for him to know that you were quaking in fear for his rejection.

Yoongi’s dick twitched in his sweats.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he said under his breath as his heart beat faster. He felt like he was having a whole heart attack. He patted his chest, hoping to calm it down knowing it was useless.

Should he go for it? You had just admitted accidentally that you did have feelings for him and you were clearly propositioning him. Should he just-

He turned around, back to face you, determination paining his expression. Still on the coffee table, your legs were spread open, only covered by the thin sliver of fabric that your thong allotted. You were a little cold, but all of that melted away when you saw the way that Yoongi’s eyes roamed your exposed body, then stopped abruptly to meet your own.

He was in front of you in seconds, his longer legs carried him farther and faster than you had anticipated. Then he was pulling you to stand. You wobbled on your legs but one of his arms found its way around your waist. His free hand came up and held your jaw with two fingers on either side of your face, squishing your lips together slightly. His hot, heavy member pressed against your stomach through his sweats. He was so close that you could smell the coffee on his breath and the fading smell of his cologne you loved so much. All you wanted was to grind against him but you were held too tightly.

“You never know when to shut up do you?” But he didn’t let you answer. He crashed his soft lips onto yours, his hold on your jaw ached but you didn’t care. There was a passion in his kiss that you hadn’t expected, subtly dwindling to something more like tenderness, and the kiss continued. His lips dragged against yours delicately, pinching your top one with both of his. Small breaths came out of his nose, whistling softly against your cheek. You timed your breaths with his, high on the feeling of finally being kissed, coveted by him. Was it real? Was this actually happening?

Your brain suddenly caught up with your body. The rightness that came with the way he was kissing you, like he couldn’t get enough of you, like he needed you to properly breathe, was like nothing you could have imagined.

The hand on your waist was drawing small circles where the elastic of your thong rested, his index finger casually hooked onto and under pulling lightly. You pressed yourself tighter than he had you against his erection. He groaned, his mouth opening and his tongue suddenly darting out to taste. He pulled your jaw open, granting himself entrance and exploring your mouth.

You moaned, a sound so sensuous and wanton that Yoongi felt that he could cum just from those sounds alone. He wanted more. He wanted you to sing his praises as he fucked into you and caressed your chest. He wanted you to drool around his cock and to have your sweet mouth wrapped tight around it. He wanted to feel you gag at his girth and he wanted to pull at your hair. But most of all, he wanted to kiss you, just like how he was at that moment. He wanted to kiss you until he’d taken your soul from your body and replaced it with his own. He wanted to kiss you until he could erase every trace of all of the men who’d hurt you and made you doubt that you were worthy and wanted. Yoongi wanted to kiss his love into you no matter how long he had to do it. If he was locked in a room with you for months, so be it.

But your hand had found its way between your bodies and was slowly coming down to his hips. Suddenly, he realized what he was doing and panicked. He hadn’t gotten your consent. He hadn’t asked you if it was okay for him to kiss you or to hook his fingers on your thong. As stupid as it sounded, even to Yoongi himself, he needed to make sure that you wanted this to happen, even as your hand had found the outline of his cock and you had started to trace the outline of it over the fabric-

“Tell me to stop,” he gasped, ripping himself away from you. The hand around your waist was now on your shoulder to keep you at enough distance so that his brain could function and wasn’t clouded by the horniness he was feeling.

“Wha…?” You slurred, your eyes were glazed over and your body was completely relaxed.

“Tell me to stop,” he repeated, fighting his every instinct to push your mouth open and have you suck on his thumb before he pushed you onto your knees to suck him off, “and I will.”

His eyelids were heavy and he was sweating slightly. He was so hard that it hurt and the circles you were drawing on his penis were not helping at keeping him at bay. He knew if he looked down, there would be a stain of precum on his sweats.

“I don’t want you to stop,” you whispered, leaning in and kissing his jaw before you nibbled and kissed down his taught neck.

“Fuck.”

“I want you to fuck me.” You licked a thick swipe up his jugular, “I want you.”

“Then admit it,” Yoongi heard himself say. He was just as surprised as you were to hear those words from his lips, “admit that you like me.”

You pulled away then, dropping both your arms in exasperation, “Are you fucking kidding me? I’m in my underwear, stroking your cock and you want me to stroke your ego too? Un-fucking-believeable. You’re a dumb ass.”

You rolled your eyes and flicked his forehead.

“Aya, apa~” he groaned, rubbing his head, the dynamic that you were used to suddenly restored.

“Yeah? Great! I’m glad that it hurt! I hope it hurts really bad you jerk. Then maybe you’ll understand what it was like for me to listen to you go on and on about all the girls you went out with every fucking week. In fact-”

“Aya! What the fuck? Stop flicking me,” he nearly screamed, clutching the tip of his nose.

“Make me.”

Big mistake. Yoongi didn’t take your dare lightly. His eyes darkened then he leaned down and picked you up. You squeaked, wrapping your legs around his waist as he walked you to his room. His hands cupped your butt fairly comfortably, like this was something you did often. He kicked the door open and threw you on the bed.

“You think I wasn’t hurt as well?” He asked, clasping a hand around your neck and lightly pressing his fingers against your skin.

“You think I like knowing that everywhere we go, men are watching you, coveting you the way I do? You think it isn’t torture when you go out and I don’t hear from you until the next day?”

He pushed you up against his pillow. The duvet was already all messed up under your body. He was between your legs, pressing himself into your core. Fuck, you wanted him. You wanted him all the way inside you. He wanted nothing more than to do the same but he had to make sure you knew first.

“You think it was easy being in love with you when you wanted nothing from me but friendship?”

Your eyes softened. Yoongi was in love with you too? When?

“Since we were kids,” he answered. Again you had spoken without meaning to. “I always knew it was you, Y/N. It was only ever you.”

But something wasn’t adding up. You fought your rising feelings of elation. You wanted to understand what he was saying. If he had liked you since you were kids then why had he never asked you out? Why become the serial dater he’d become? But he’d never had a girlfriend, you reminded yourself. He’d only ever “dated” and then dropped these women. You always assumed he was screwing them all.

Yoongi became sheepish then. “I uh… I did have sex with some of them but-” and the hurt in your eyes would be enough to kill him,” it was only at the start. I thought that if i had sex with other people I’d stop chasing after you. But it didn’t work… I haven’t slept with anyone since junior year of college.”

Your eyes widened. “College?”

He nodded, his pale cheeks blushing prettily.

“They just...were never you… and then I thought if I pushed you away that would help but that only made us estranged and-”

You pushed yourself up and shut him up with a kiss. He was over thinking and you could talk about all that later.

“You’re an idiot,” you started and he rolled his eyes, “but if you don’t fuck me right now, I’m going to do it myself.”

Yoongi’s eyes rolled into his head and he thrust lightly into your wet center.

“Talk after?”

“As long as you want,” you agreed, already pushing at his sweats. Yoongi sat up and pulled his hoodie and shirt off in one fell swoop, then, at the speed of lightning, pulled off his sweats, leaving him in his boxers.

After a moment of hesitation, he pulled his boxers off as well and then he was naked before you. Your mouth went dry. He was big. You could tell just by looking at him that he would stretch you good and you wanted so badly for him to pin you down and have his way with you.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

“Really? Cause that would be really helpful on days when I’m home alone-”

“Wha-no!”

You chuckled and lay down on your back, making sure that your legs were spread wide for him to have his fill. Like a moth to a flame, he was between your thighs, his tongue licking at the wet fabric.

He moaned against your covered lips, sucking up the arousal that clung to your underwear.

“Fuck, Yoongi yes,” you said without meaning to say much at all. You unclasped your bra and threw it somewhere in the room. You could look for it later. This caught his attention. He thrust his naked dick into the mattress, needing some sort of stimulation.

“Damn it… fuck, if I wasn’t so desperate to be inside you, I swear I could get you off with just my mouth all day, Y/N.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you waved off, gesturing for him to come up to your face, he did so without question, “Hurry up, I’m dying. Please.”

“Are you begging?” Yoongi’s lips curled lightly, teasingly,

“Do you want to get your dick wet or not?” He kissed the wrinkle between your eyebrows lightly.

“Yeah, can I take these off?” he hooked a finger on the elastic of your thong, pulling it a little higher than he probably should have. It was an old pair. You heard rather than saw the stitching on it pull apart and then the thing was hanging limply from Yoongi’s fingers, his expression shocked.

“Yoongi!”

“What? I didn’t do it on purpose!”

“For fuck’s sake! That was my favorite thong!”

“Well, clearly it was cheap,” he countered, throwing it across the room somewhere too.

You groaned, shifting slightly under him. His dick nuzzled between your wet lips. His mouth dropped open and a pleasured grunt escaped his lips.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he rut against your wetness, hitting your clit lightly, far too lightly, “you are so wet. God, this should be illegal.”

“Y-Yoongi… more,” he reached down between you two and found your sensitive nub without much hassle. It was like he knew your body already. Your body twitched under him and he circled the bundle of nerves for a couple of seconds. The noises falling from your lips were heaven on earth and Yoongi realized you were his new favorite song.

He gave your clit one rough stroke, ripping a small gasp from your throat. He gathered some of your slick with two practiced fingers and brought it up to eye level. It caught the low light of his room from the window, the smell enough to threaten to send him over the edge.

“Jesus Christ that’s hot.” Then he smeared it all over his penis and gave himself two rough pumps.

“Can I-”

“Yes.”

“You don’t even know what I’m asking-”

“Don’t care. Just do it. Yes.” You said angrily, pulling him closer and closer, his toned chest flush against yours.

“Have you been working out?” You asked, breaking the intense way he was staring into your eyes, his smile pulled wide over his gums.

He shrugged but clearly was glad that you’d noticed, “Namjoon and Jungkook convinced me to join them in the gym. It’s no big deal.”

“But your arms,” you complimented, squeezing his bicep. He flexed it lightly for you. You blushed when you realized exactly what you were doing.

“It’s just a little muscle,” he commented offhandedly.

The conversation lulled, he smiled down at you, and you up at him. He kissed the tip of your nose.

“So can I put it i-”

“I already said yes.”

“In your ass?”

“Ew no!”

Yoongi laughed loudly, “see this is why you can’t say yes to something without knowing what you’re agreeing to.”

“Shut up and put it in the right hole,” you groaned, then for good measure, “oppa.” It was a joke. You thought it was a joke, but something lit up in his pupils as two measly syllables rolled off your tongue and hit his eardrums. You felt his skin prickle under your touch and his member twitched against your folds.

Like a deer caught in headlights, you looked up at the handsome man. His eyes had narrowed as well as darkened. He looked absolutely ravenous and you wanted him to eat you up.

“Say that again.” He commanded as he pushed the head of his massive, and now that you could properly feel it, you knew that you had been right, cock at the entrance of your lower lips.

“O-oppa?” you questioned, astounded that the simple word that he’d no doubt heard his whole life had this effect on him.

“That’s right yeo-chin,” he growled, his voice gruff and harsh as he pushed lightly into you. His dick opened you painfully, perfectly.

“Yeo-chin?” You ask through the explosion of pleasure between your thighs.

“Is that okay?” He asked, suddenly looking really vulnerable and scared. You reached up, stroking his cheek lightly with your knuckles.

“Oh honey,” you trailed off, bumping his nose against yours before you pulled back abruptly, “If you want me to be your girlfriend, you have to ask me properly.”

Yoongi sighed, his smile telling you he expected as much and wasn’t hurt, “Talk after?” He asked again.

“As much as you want,” you reiterated.

And then he was pushing into you once again, surprising you because you could have sworn you had been full before but inch after inch, he pushed into your awaiting hole, filling all the emptiness you’d felt your whole life until his balls tapped your ass softly.

His face was contorted in pure ecstasy. At least from your perspective. Yoongi, in all truth, was trying his hardest not to blow his load into you already. He couldn’t believe his luck. He was inside you. He’d waited his whole life for this and he was finally inside you.

You wiped a bead of sweat from his temple and playfully licked his lips. He grunted against you, holding himself up by the forearms. Suddenly, he was really grateful that he had started to work out and that Jungkook had him doing three minute planks for fun. He’d have to thank him later, even if he did complain a whole lot.

“Can-can I move?” Yoongi gasped. Your walls fluttered around his member as if welcoming it home with soft caresses. You were so warm, maybe hot, he wasn’t sure, but you were tight and wet and all the good things in the world.

You only breathed, feeling so unbelievably full. It felt like he had pushed in all the way to your throat. You were no size queen, really, you weren’t, but if this is what they were going on about, you understood.

“Y/N,” he panted, his body begging him to move, “please.”

“Are-are you begging?” You giggled mirroring what he’d asked you before.

“Yes.” Without hesitation, he admitted, “Please… please…”

Well fuck. How could you say no? You nodded fervently, all mirth erased from your expression as he pulled out slowly, your juices squelched as your lower muscles tried to keep him in.

“Gah- ash-Y/N… you’re so tight.”

You only moaned in response, the head of his cock was still in you, stretching you to the point you didn’t think anyone could fully make you feel this way again.

“You’re so big,” you complimented scratching at his back. His muscles rippled under your touch.

He pushed back in, still torturously slow. It felt like you were being split in half. You felt like Olaf in the first frozen movie after he got stabbed by an icicle.

“Yoongi,” you gasped as he pulled out again at the same speed, his face screwed up in concentration.

“Oppa,” he growled into your ear, kissing roughly at your skin.

“Oppa,” you agreed, though it wasn’t your favorite word, he seemed to be getting of fairly

well so you let it slide, “move faster.”

“You sure?” He asked.

You nodded, knowing it was probably going to hurt but you wanted to feel him and you wanted him to cum.

“Yes.”

He didn’t need to be told again; he drew back, once again leaving only the mushroom tip inside you once again, and then he thrust. Hard. You nearly choked as he pumped himself over and over again hitting the nerves in your vagina. The slap of skin against yours was loud in the empty room, only accompanied by your moans and his pants and grunts. Your names mixed in every once in a while, your lips kissing any and all the skin that you could possibly reach. He licked at your lips and sucked bruises onto your neck, your chest. He wanted to mark all of you. He wanted to make sure you knew who you belonged to… as soon as he asked you right after he finished up.

This idea itself spurred him on, to thrust faster, deeper. He wanted to finish and make sure that you finished too, not quickly but soon. He wanted to talk. He wanted to make sure that you were in the same place.

So he reached between you both again, his fingers blindly found your clitoris and began to rub abstract shapes into it. Your back arched off the bed, your hair and boobs bounced with each thrust, his balls slapping against your ass. You were seeing white, your mouth wide open in a silent ‘o’. You were so close. So so close.

“Come, Yeo-chin,” he whispered against your temple, and though you weren’t technically his, the title sent you over the edge along with his fingers and the deep thrusts that hit your cervix.

“Oppa,” you groaned, your face screwed up.

That did it for Yoongi. His fingers on your clit stuttered along with his hips. His thrusts became erratic and he hit the sides of your walls. You squeezed around him as he over stimulated you through your orgasm.

“One more time… say it one more time,” he begged.

You complied, whispering it into his ear, it was cut slightly by a particularly pleasurable thrust. Yoongi felt pure euphoria fill his blood as his hips paused, then buried deep into your hole. Ropes of hot cum shot into you, filling you.

Yoongi panted heavily over you, his head resting on your shoulder as he struggled to keep himself up. You were breathing heavily as well, your nipples brushed against his chest. You were sensitive. You hissed.

“You can lay down,” the words had barely left your lips before he had let his weight settle on top of you. A smile crossed your face as his hands tangled in your hair and stroked it lightly. You wrapped him up in a hug, wanting him to stay like this for a while. It was nice to feel him so close.

After a couple of minutes of both of you just recovering and your breathing getting much harder, like a wrestler, you tapped Yoongi twice.

“I’m out,” you joked, “can’t breathe.”

With what looked like a lot of effort, he pushed himself up and off you, pulling out of your suddenly. The cum inside of your vagina gushed out.

You made a face as you felt it drip onto his sheets. Yoongi watched it ooze out of you, not really caring where it was going. He looked mesmerized. He reached out as if to swipe at the cum on your lower lips but you grabbed his wrist before he could.

“We talk now,” you sighed, a bit calmer than before but still a bit worried.

“Now?” He looked so vulnerable again, like he was a scared child. He lay on his side, resting his head on his elbow. He looked down at you, waiting for you to take the reins, the way you always did but this time, you didn’t know where to begin.

Yoongi cleared his throat looking around uncomfortably. When you said nothing, his mind had started to race.

“So… do you… want to be my girlfriend, or are we friends with benefits level right now? Ow!”

You’d smacked his shoulder, not hard at all but he was dramatic and you knew that. He frowned at you, his lips tempting you into another kiss that could lead to something more once again. You were already feeling a little turned on again just looking at the results of his recent gym trips.

“So no to yeo-chin then?”

“Yoongi!”

“Don’t you mean Oppa?”

You smiled up at him, a teasing glint in your gaze, “I didn’t know you had an oppa kink. This whole time, I was right to refuse to call you oppa. I knew you looked way too happy whenever I called you that!”

Yoongi scrunched his nose and looked away, “I don’t! It’s just… when you say it.” He admitted waving a hand as if to bat away your inquisitive and teasing stare.

Not really knowing how to answer that, you chose instead to answer his previous question.

“Nam-chin,” you ran a finger down the center of his pecks, tracing all the light visible muscles that made you want to get off on just riding his chest. Yoongi tensed under your touch. He seemed frozen.

“Did you just call me nam-chin?” You, for once, were not embarrassed. You smiled brightly, happy that the title finally had a head to sit on.

“Is that okay?”

Yoongi pulled you close, his arms wrapped tightly around you, his heart beat erratically in his chest, singing to yours. To its credit, your heart synced and harmonized almost instantly. He smelled like pure sex and fresh water. He buried your face into his bare skin, listening to his song. After all these years, after all the tiptoeing and fear, you were finally where you belonged.

“Of course it is,” he paused, kissing the top of your head a couple of times, “yeo-chin.” This time, the word made a shiver roll down your spine. Arousal began to pool between your sticky thighs once more and if the third leg on your stomach was anything to go by, he was as well.

“Can- can we take a shower?” you asked him, biting your lips and pushing your chest against his suggestively.

He smirked, his mouth watered at the thought of taking you in the shower. He could almost hear your moans echoing in his wet room as he sat you down and ate you out until the water ran cold. Easy clean up even.

“Yes.” he breathed, connecting his lips to yours. You kissed for a while, your lips meshing together lovingly. Yoongi was a good kisser, you realized. He was a good lay as well. And he was cute to boot. Suddenly, he pulled away and picked you up bridal style and walked you to his restroom. He once again kicked the door open to avoid using his hands and walked you through, but this time instead of throwing you down, he set you on the toilet, him on his knees between your pushed open legs.

“I hope you don’t have any plans,” he said, kissing up your thighs and pulling you close to the edge, “because I have all the time in the world and I’m really, really thirsty.”

He ran two fingers over your abused center, collecting his cum and your new arousal. Sure, there were still a lot of things to talk about between you two. Yoongi still wasn’t sure if you fully understood the depth of his feelings nor was he sure if you simply liked him and the slip of the L-word was nothing more than that. A slip. But like he’d said, he had all the time in the world to ask and all the time to make sure he earned you and your trust. He would do anything he could to prove it and some day he would be.

But for now, he was royally fucked by the sinful sounds that escaped your pretty lips and he wanted nothing more than to just enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Masterlist -in case you want to read more....

I hope yall enjoyed it and that this is a good come back after our roast session from permission to dance:)

[takamishinko]

hi hi canipleaserequestagain andimbeingannoyingiknow iloveyourwriting👉👈 h e r e p l s - diluc, kaeya, childe, zhongli and xiao ofc w/ a male neko reader (like diona half cat half human?) (and reader has like shadow power????? what is this lmao- i cannot explain myself to save myself- ugh-)

haha dw bout it i love writing for genshin :) but if u can please try and be more specific next time it will make it easier for me to write!

kaeya, diluc, childe, xiao, and zhongli with a male s/o with cat traits and a unique "vision"

_____

kaeya and diluc:

im just gonna lump them together im too lazy to find another gif

kaeya would probably would love your cat ears

pets them all the time and brushes them to make sure they're clean and stuff

will compliment and make small talk with you while doing it too

i headcanon diluc to love cats, he seems like a cat person

loves your ears but will never admit it

when brushing them he won't say anything because he's too busy appreciating them

kaeya would asks diona if the two of you are related

very cheesy and kinda cringe but he would definitely call you kitty/kitten

since your literally a catboy in a sense

diluc knows diona hates him but he'll still go to diona and asks is there any way to better take care of you cuz the two of you are similar

will get hate from diona obviously but he'll suck it up for you

will not call you kitty/kitten unless you literally beg him to, he don't do that.

kaeya shows you off to other ppl and tells them he has a pet cat

you offer to go on missions with kaeya and he gladly accepts because he knows your powers and acknowledges them

diluc wouldn't tell other ppl about ur relationship unless you want to, cuz as we all know he doesn't like to share

you offer to help diluc but he's overprotective and doesn't let you go on missions with him even tho he knows what you're capable of

childe:

idk why but i think childes probs really bad with animals especially cats

so he's glad that at least you like him

one time he bought u like a shit ton of fish and asked you if you like them

he never did it again

buys you all sorts of stuff cuz mans rich asf

and by stuff i mean like jewelry, whatever products you need to take care of your fur ect.

will play with your ears when cuddling

holds you in his arms like a kitty and will refuse to sleep until you're asleep first

can't grasp the idea of ur vision

he has a two different visions himself but he still can't grasp the idea of yours

asks you to duel a lot with him

cuz he's a bloodhungry mf

he'll try to figure out where your vision came from by himself so he told you to not tell him about the origin of it

he'll take you wherever he goes btw

like everywhere

one because he's made a lot of enemies throughout his battle history so he's scared of someone hurting you when he's gone

secondly because he knows he can protect you

he knows your power and how strong you are but he doesn't want to take any risks

xiao:

he doesn't even care about humans lol so he cares less about animals

except for you ofc, you're the only exception

doesn't know anything about animals and does not know how to take care of your cat traits whatsoever

but he's trying.

he doesn't understand the concept of finding something cute

so he definitely does find your ears and tail cute he just doesn't know the feeling of it

mans barely knows the feeling of being in love with someone so

impressed by your powers because it's not technically considered a vision

he doesn't care for it much as long as you can protect yourself with it before like

the 1-2 seconds he gets there he's fine with it

is not keen on pda or letting anyone except for zhongli know about this relationship

he doesn't get the idea of relationships in general really but in his idea he likes it private

he worries at times because he's an adeptus, meaning he'll get to live forever with the thought of you d13ing before him

zhongli:

i dont think zhongli is an animal person

i feel like animals are the last thing he cares about tbh he's been through too much just like xiao

however

he will try to know more about cats because his boyfriend has cat traits

is not open about the relationship unless people ask him about it

in that case he will proudly present you as his boyfriend

and say stuff like he is honored

people will disagree tho

they will say things like

"how could the former archon be in a relationship with a mere mortal, let alone a human with cat traits."

he will kindly reason with them if this does happen

however if reasoning doesn't work then he will chose 2 solutions

1. just leaving

2. "i will have order" /j

but really he doesn't care what anyone says

he just wants you to feel happy and safe cuz that's the type of bf he is :)

hutao loves you btw

thinks your ears are so cute and you guys are like bestfriends since zhongli takes u to meet her sometimes but you too just get along really well

zhongli is quite interested in your power because throughout everything he's seen during his lifetime he hasn't seen anything like yours

however just like xiao he's glad you can protect yourself with it

[rurifangirl]

oc asksssss💃💃💃

i'll anwser yours a lil later tho🤡

shou🌸

😍 does your muse believe in true love? why or why not?

kayn🌸

🧸 does your muse keep anything sentimental? if so, what do they keep and why?

evelyn🌸

🐺 does your muse like solitude? do they prefer it to being around others? how easily does your muse get lonely?

eris🌸

🎵 is there a specific song or songs you associate with your muse? why is that?

rui🌸

🤷‍♀️ how does your muse approach strangers? how does this compare to how they interact with close friends or lovers?

kerei🌸

👗 what is your muse’s fashion sense like? are they able to dress the way they want to? what would they wear in an ideal world?

kida🌸

🌱 what themes are relevant to your muse?

✨ what aesthetics or symbols do you reference when writing your muse? are these backed up by canon, if your muse comes from a canon? is there any specific relevance to these choices?

syndra🌸

🏆 is your muse multitalented? what are their hobbies, and why did they pick up these hobbies? if they don’t have hobbies, why don’t they?

lyva🌸

😱 does your muse have any specific fears? where did those fears come from?

naexi🌸

💍 does your muse have a “type” of people that they prefer to enter relationships with? is their type generally compatible with them, or does the dynamic tend to be toxic?

myst🌸

🤝 how does your muse approach intimacy? are they hesitant, or do they like it? what types of intimacy do they like and dislike? (ex. physical intimacy, sexual intimacy, emotional intimacy, etc.)

Dw bout It, I took my time too😭😭

Shou🍵-

He doesn't have much of an opinion about It, as It wasn't really much of his interest. He was more deep into continuing his family's legacy than worrying about such things.

But, if asked for, he would've have mixed feelings.

Because he knows how fate can be, and It could happen sometimes, or even something similar like It happened with him and Qiran.

But overall, he isn't sure about its existence 100% either.

Kayn💜-

He has something that reminds him of his friends/past, even through some little pictures, an object, a drawing or something among these lines.

For example, remember that bear plushies on that one Ruri/Kayn comic? Yeah, that's one of the dearest things he's grown close to. Other than other gifts the PTSD gang already gave him.

He has something for everyone. And he treasures those greately. Some of them are even hidden, because he wants to keep them so dearly.

Evelyn⚙️-

She prefers a lot more being around others, both because of when they were pretty much left alone, and also because he generally prefers being around people.

Teasing them, being caring or just talking about their special interests with.

He's also the type of guy to usually start fights for stupid shit in bars so😭😭

Eris🌑-

Bestie my musical taste isn't,,, really that, so uhm, oddly I won't say im in love from the Hercules movie, but also not?? Like It ties up to em anyways regarding moons past and does It pretty well so whkdkskrf

Pls ignore my musical taste here

Rui💎-

It depends on whether they feel comfortable with them, or would rather avoid them.

In the first case, it's easy to start off with a friendship or trying to get more, as long as they have the right criteria.

Otherwise, they'd avoid them like the pest and would do anything and everything to avoid them😭😭 and sometimes ending into embarassing situations because of that.

Kerei🔮-

Anything goes well. He doesn't have a specifical dressing style in contrast to others, so anything cheaper and the first thing that can keep him warm Is well.

He does have a variety of choises on hats, which Is the only thing he cares about other than his hair.

Kida💮-

🌱-

Whkshsjdjd i had some troubles w this so I'll skip It🤡

✨-

It's mostly strong, female leads characters. Kinda like how Mai ended up being, while still having to face other kinds of issues. They're sometimes original by Canon, and sometimes they're added, since she Is stil from an au where canon does change quite a lot. There's not much to add, and I'm sorry to go so brief on her

Syndra⛩️-

She's really skilled in sword fighting, showed through its collections of swords. Of any kind. It's more than a simple hobby, since there's some cases in which she depends on those skills in order to survive.

She also Is pretty well at creating small objects, though it keeps It away from even those close to her, to not seem "weak" in their eyes.

Lyva📙-

She does have many fears, due to having a negletful family and little to no actual friends to rely on.

One of these things Is also fire, due to a traumatic incident where she got scolded purely cus of something even her couldn't control, and accidentaly got burned on the meanwhile.

The burned scar Is now all marginalized and basically almost cannot be seen, but it's still there, on her arm.

That's also part of the reason she doesn't wear much of "open" clothes.

Another one Is High places, but that more of an irrational fear of It. There's a couple of other more but id rather not make this too long either.

Naexi⚛️-

They aren't currently searching for a relationship, but if she could, she'd ask for someone "weaker" than them. To both being able to protect them, because of what happened in the past with Eris, and to have much control over them.

To be in power of something more than their dolls. A sentient being to obtain.

She still will give their s/o time for themselves, a but the power difference will remain as they want to.

She'll also search for compassion in that regard, even if they think they don't deserve much, for this point.

Myst🎸-

He's mostly fine with It! She's pretty touchy herself too, so getting hugs, pats or anything they're comfortable will goes absolutely amazing for him.

He's pretty uncomfortable with sexual intimacy, and as for emotional, she'll still struggle whether he has platonic or romantic feelings at times,

So he'd rather prefer a normal friendship. Even tho Lyva exists now so it's a big fucky

@a-chaotic-dumbass @spoopy-fish-writes @damnfoxx @dopesaladlady @nadi-117 @audre-falrose

[bitchiha]

HC of Kiba, Shino, Choji, Neji and Lee playing animal crossing. Do they do it hidden from others or not? Their islands, favorite activities, group interactions (especially) and other things you like.

A/N: Yes!! Thank you for requesting this!! I love writing little fun things like this. I haven’t gotten a chance to play animal crossing on the switch because I was saving up for it w/ my job and everything, but now that Corona has shut down my province I can’t actually buy the switch or Animal Crossing 🥺 I watch gameplays for like hours on end tho and my friends never shut up about it so I know enough to make these HC’s I Hope lmfao and I’ve played it on my DS and phone for timee so I’m educated dw

✎ Animal Crossing x Naruto Characters!

Kiba Inuzuka

He was so pumped for animal crossing to come out. Probably used man the beast clone justu in the game store to make sure that he got his hands on a copy.

He won’t hide that he plays Animal Crossing, he’ll be such a confident douche about it. Once he’s got a fly outfit and he’s starting to get gains he will flex his island to anyone, especially Shino.

He would pick an island in the northern hemisphere and he wouldn’t even strategize tbh like he’s just excited

He would name it like “Dog Land” or “Akamaruville” or some shit like that

He’s the type to read all the things the characters say out loud. Will also 10/10 respond to them.

He’s so excited at little things “look akamaru! It’s a stick!” “Oh shit! Wow! It’s a fishy!”

Or when the seasons change he is so hyped

Hates Tom Nook (greedy capitalist) and also hates Eugene

Starts calling people by nicknames from animal crossing. “Sure, Bunyip!” “Sure thing daddio!” And only the other ninja who play Animal Crossing will get it

Everyone else will be like: (;-;) shut the fuck up dog boy did you just call me “daddio?”

His title on his animal crossing passport is “photogenic animal” I felt the need to include this information

Sometimes I don’t even know what the fuck Kiba does on animal crossing like he just messes around all the time

I think he’ll like fishing a lot tho

Despises the snooty or cranky villagers like he wants to pop one at them through the screen

Having interactions w friends on Animal Crossing can either be fun and friendly or super passive aggressive

Him and Shinos interactions are so ducking passive aggressive like Shino is hitting Kiba with his bug net and Kibas like ?? And Shino will just be like “there was a bug on you” like bruh

Him and Chojis interactions are friendly at first until he realizes how much better Choji is doing than him and he gets so aggressive so Chojis like: aight imma head out

Refuses to let Rock Lee get into his island and it makes Lee so ducking mad bc he wants to flex on him, but Kibas ego will be so damaged so he refuses

Anyway, his house is literally what a 12 year old boys house would look like. Like there’s clutter everywhere the only clear path is the one to his bed

Also whenever he uses the vaulting pole thing he pisses himself like he thinks it’s so fucking funny

I’m sorry but Kibas character will look like a rat like it will look so ugly

I feel like he has like one braincell when he plays this game

Shino Aburame

He’s so secretive about it at first, like this is Shino Aburame, he’s supposed to be this cool mysterious guy

So he will not let anyone know about it, until kiba accidentally finds out

Like they’re on a mission and they’re in their tent sleeping. Once Shino thinks everyone’s asleep he whips out the Switch and starts playing. Then Kiba rolls over to face him and is like “I KNEW IT”

Then Kiba tells everyone else

They’re Animal Crossing rivals now

He’s got a Southern Hemisphere island and he strategically picks his island in a way that he’ll (in real life terms) be able to have access to bugs... but it’s a game, no point in explaining it to him tbh

Like he only strategizes on the game for bugs. Probably talks to himself whenever bugs are involved in it

He doesn’t read the captions out loud, he’ll read them in his head like normal person

Names his Island after a bug species or “Bug Landia”, “Bikochu Island” <- as tribute to those filler episodes lmfao

Starts talking like K.K. (The dog w the stupid ducking guitar) and tbh it fits his personality pretty well, minus some of the hippie energy, but still.. sometimes Hinata and Kiba look at eachother like: is he good?

Will talk like K.K. When fighting enemies and sometimes they’ll stop and be like “did you just quote fucking K.K?” Sometimes it pisses enemies off even more

Also hates Tom Nook, Kiba and him will put their rivalry aside sometimes just so they could gang up on him

Like they’ll just yell insults at him through the screen and think they rlly did something amazing

His fav activity is obviously bug catching!! He gets so hyped when he catches a bug.

If he’s playing the game outside and you can’t rlly see his face bc of his outfit, it will look like he’s spazzing, but in reality he’s bursting with joy bc he caught an uncommon bug

Likes the cranky villagers.. idk why he just gets a kick out of them

His little house thing is bug and tropical themed, he lowkey should be an interior designer

Shinos character will resemble a bug. Don’t know how, but it will.

Choji Akamichi

Loves animal crossing almost as much as he loves food, it’s a close second

He will talk about Animal crossing with anyone, like he thinks everyone is dying to know about his island

One day Sai made eye contact with him for like 2 seconds Chojis dragging him over to his Switch like “oh hey Sai! I seen you looking at me and I figured you must be wondering what I was doing. So I’ll save you the time and just show you instead.” Sais just there like: wtf?

He’s neutral on the capitalist pig that is Tom Nook, Infact, he thinks he’s kind of nice. Poor Choji, so naive.

His island is in the Northern Hemisphere and he doesn’t really strategize it too much bc he doesn’t take the game as seriously as the rest of them like they’re really out here with survival tactics? My G..

Like he doesn’t take it as seriously as Neji and Lee, but he still is doing better than all of them in the game

Anyways, he’ll name the island after his favourite chip brand / chip flavour

Lives for interacting with the other islanders!! Loves Lily and Pashmina bc they’re so nice.

The sisterly and peppy villagers are his favourite

Favourite thing to do is collect fruits and get cool foods. Aside from that, I would go with bug catching as a close second.

Hosts everyone who plays animal crossing for the coolest funking hangouts poor Neji has to sit there and pretend he doesn’t play

Like he is so creative about it to and he’ll think up games like playing musical chairs or hide and seek that they can all play together

Probably results in Lee and Kiba getting into a fist fight irl and accusing eachother of cheating

His house has butterfly themed stuff in there as well as cool food things

Tenten is the only one who doesn’t get pissed tf off when she sees how fly his island is, like she’s jealous, but she isn’t like Kiba and Lee

Chojis character will look so adorable like idc his is the cutest one out of everyone’s

Neji Hyuuga

He first sees TenTen and Lee playing it and he acts like he doesn’t like it, but there are fireworks going off inside his head, like the game looks so fire

So he buys it secretly and he is obsessed, he will deny he plays it if anyone asks though

He wants his islands name to be something thought out, like it takes him 5 days just to name his island.. Only for him to settle on some shit like “Leaf Island” he wanted to name it Byakugan Land but his pride wouldn’t let him

Definitely respects Tom Nook. Like Rock Lee and him both treat the game like a survival tactic so he respects Tom Nook as a superior, even if he has some greed problems. He’s still a superior and he must be adressed with respect >:0

Will get worked up when he overhears Shino and Kiba trash talking Nook and it takes every bone in his body not to knock them out, but he doesn’t want them to know he plays so he refrains

I’m not gonna lie he tries to use his Byakugan when he’s fishing in animal crossing so he can see what type of fish it is through the water and it pisses him the fuck off when it doesn’t work

Like he’s just playing Animal Crossing at like 3 am and you hear him whisper shout “Byakugan!” And then he punches the air bc it doesn’t work

He changes his passport title to “Nook Inc’s Island Dweller”

Nejis favourite thing to do on animal crossing is probably fishing tbh. Like yes it does aggravate the absolute fuck out of him sometimes when he keeps catching the same worthless fish over and over again, but he enjoys the rush of it

His house is all white, like only white furniture idk why

No group interactions, only w Hinata who he made swear she wouldn’t tell anyone he plays

Def critiques her Island and in her head she’s like :0 bruh I’m ur only Animal Crossing friend and youre gonna critique my fucking island nah bitch not w your ghetto ass all white stinky looking cottage

I love Neji I’m sorry but this shit is too funny for me

Neji wants his character to look as much like him as possible, but can’t find the right hairstyle

His drip is fire tho like his outfit is so nice even if it’s all white as well

Rock Lee

Kiba and Shino might be rivals, but they both equally despise Rock Lee on Animal Crossing

Treats it like real life.

For example: since him and TenTen are friends he’s like “me and Tentens islands are Allies”

Has declared war on Kiba and Shino so many times and they’re like?? Dude you can’t even start a war like wtf

He is so competitive though LMFAOO AND HE MAKES HIS CHARACTER WORK OUT. Like he makes him run laps every morning and it doesn’t even benefit him in the game at all... anyways

His island is in the northern hemisphere for sure and it’s named “Power of Youth” or something involving the word Youth

Uses his Nook phone to take pics will all the islanders he stumbles upon

“Good evening, Lily! Let’s take a picture together, the sun is shining in a way that perfectly accentuates your features!”

He also talks to islanders out loud and reads their captions in designated voices for them, it annoys the shit out of Neji

Jazzes the shit out of his Passport like his title is “horizon bound patron” and his little passport comment is “THE POWER OF YOUTH!”

Takes the Nook miles quests so seriously. “I will complete three quests today.” Thinks of them as missions and so he gives them the same energy

Probably calls Nook “Nook-Sensei”

“right away Nook-Sensei” or “you can count on me Nook-sensei!” Whenever Nook asks him something

Rock Lees fav activity is literally just completing whatever a character asks him to do. Like constantly does quests and enjoys it. Wtf

If there is workout furniture on animal crossing, best believe it’s in Rock Lees house

He gets so pissy when Kiba won’t let him on his Island

Invites everyone to his island and forces them onto a tour of it.

Also his character looks so fucking similar to himself that it’s eerie

Kiba will make fun of him for it (Shino will probably join in too)

[lunar-lair]

Ok so like,,,,,,,,,Concept

Mermaid au but All the sides are mermaids and Thomas is the only human among them

Like humans still exist and stuff and it's probably modern day but mermaids don't really...interact with humans much

They aren't really *dangerous,* since most people don't believe they exist anyways, but mermaids just. Don't see them much. They never come out to deep enough waters or come by the coast at the right times or stay long enough, and most mermaids don't see it fit to expose themselves anyways.

Idk what fish everyone is yet, I plan on looking that up later, honestly, but I've got some Other ideas.

Anyways uh,,,,,,Remus is totally the one who finds Thomas first

He was with Roman, the two of them just seeing if any humans were hanging out near the beach. They were about ready to leave to go back to where the others were (they have a little grotto they've claimed for themselves that most other mermaids don't touch, probably mostly bc Remus terrifies them)

And then Remus stopped, hearing a human singing a song. That sounded like it was underwater. And was *also* an ancient siren's song, wh-?

Remus grabbed Roman by the shoulders and dragged him back closer to the shore, telling him to listen.

Both sat stunned for a moment.

Mermaids have their own language that most humans can't understand; it's a lot of singing and humming and clicking + a few deviations for different species, like accents for humans. Most of this language is due to mermaids being descendants of sirens, though nowadays they have different, more complex powers that align with a species and then deviate between people, in some circumstances, though most of them still relate to singing in *some* way. (Dw, the boys are all getting their own powers.)

Mermaids can understand humans, but just barely, most of the time. This human though, he was singing something they understood loud and clear.

They took a spot on a rock near him, Remus hiding behind Roman a bit. (He's always been the scarier of the two, and Roman is more social anyways. Plus...it was an old habit left over from when they were kids, ok? Don't judge.)

When the man stopped singing, eyes opening, he took a moment to look around

and then simply *froze* when he noticed fucking *mermaids* right in front of him, what the hell-

Thomas was just singing an old song his parents had sung to him when he was a child, why are there fucking *mermaids* here??

Roman quickly explained that *yes* we're mermaids but also YOU were the one singing an ancient siren song

And then the dude was like 'oh yeah I'm hearin ya' and they were like 'HH???'

Slowly, they explained that 'dude humans usually can't understand mermaids and we can't usually understand them, wh-'

And then the man's face scrunched up and he began speaking human speak, eyes widening as he switched again. "...how the Hell didn't I realize I was speaking in hums and whistles."

"Ya might be siren born!" Remus chimed from behind Roman, sharp teeth grinning wide as he moved out from behind him a little more.

Thomas was just like '???' and so they explained that 'yeah you might have siren descendants, we have a friend who knows more tho'

The twins talked with the man a little more, finding his name was Thomas and he was coming out to the beach because he used to come here a lot as a kid. Not to mention that the sea was...calling to him, he felt, as it always had.

"Definitely siren born," Roman muttered.

Anyways, after a little more talking and the boys introducing themselves-Roman and Remus, twins-and their powers-able to create anything they desire with a certain song and the right ingredients-they told Thomas to wait there and got the other four.

Thomas didn't get to ask what the "power" they mentioned was all about, but he simply waited.

Roman and Remus returned with the others, the twins settling on the same rock and most of the others just popping up from the water.

They introduced themselves, one by one;

Logan, able to help anyone understand or learn anything by simply humming in their hearing range. He's helped his stupid friends figure shit out like this a few too many times. He knows a lot about many things, as well; his powers are *made* to help people learn, and it pulls him to learn enough to properly do so.

Janus, able to deceive or trick anyone he wishes with the right song. He's also able to make anyone believe what he wishes them to, which he usually just uses to basically go 'psst. Taking a nap is a good idea' to his friends most of the time. He is not easy to trick, but he has a habit of lying, as it is what his powers are made for. It's also very difficult to get him to believe anything besides what he does at the time.

Virgil, able to make anyone fear or not fear anything at all. This is rather useful for keeping others safe and keeping dangerous people and things away from them aswell, but he himself is rather fearful, a result of his purpose being to manipulate others' fears.

Patton, able to spread any emotion he pleases, and able to sense emotions. This is useful in helping the others calm down and making sure they're ok. He's very emotional, however, and is often scrambled with his own between broadcasting emotions and sensing outside ones. A part of him is naturally against feeling negative emotions, as he fears he may accidently broadcast them. And either way, he's made to spread good, *useful* emotions, right?

And Roman and Remus' repercussions; Roman can only make certain things and same for Remus. Twins often share powers in this way, split between them. They also basically never stop thinking about what things to make, which makes them a little spacey. Remus is also prone to violent creations, and Roman flowery ones, as that's part of their bias as two halves. When they work together, it's absolutely perfect. Their harmonies are known for their beauty, similar voices harmonizing perfectly to put together things neither could dream of making on their own. Of course, it does take quite a bit of harmony from the two themselves, but they usually manage it. (There's a chance part of Remus' hectic personality is due to people disliking his creations for their darkness, and that part of Roman's theatrics and happy tune is part of trying to keep his side of their creations, but that's a different story, and a problem they're working on anyways.)

After Thomas asks about the "powers" stuff, Logan tells him simple and clean; "due to the fact that mermaids are descendants of sirens, we often have our own versions of their ability to lure others in with their songs. For instance;" Logan gave a simple hum, and suddenly Thomas knew the random (but slightly pertinent) fact that twin mermaids often have powers split between them.

As for the rest of the AU, Thomas just generally learns more about mermaids and stuff and eventually, over some time and some investigating into his family history that *yea I'm a descendant of a siren holy shit.* Thomas' power seemed to be a rather weak version of ancient sirens'; he's able to attract people to him, basically. People hear him singing and go 'wow he seems super cool I should talk to him'. Like um...friendship powers. Literally friendship powers.

Which is uh. Probably part of the reason the sides ended up becoming friends with him in the first place.

I don't know exactly what ocean creature everyone is going to be yet, and it probably won't change their Power(tm) (wow I need a better name for those) but it miiiight change their role in their group a little bit/the headcanons I have for how everyone is going to act, so I'll have to wait and see. For now though, I'll give you the basic idea:

Roman and Remus are the chaos twins, of course. They go around creating whatever the hell they want, basically-within reason. Mostly. Remus scares off any other mermaids for the most part and Roman talks to the ones that seem nice and assures them that they're just trying to keep their little grotto safe. The two of them were abandoned and grew up pretty much alone. They only had each other. They've got a pretty unbreakable bond-oh and also they have an *infinite* amount of teasing material and inside jokes.

Virgil also instills a little fear in most of them of specifically *hurting* him and his friends/messing with their shit. It used to be pure 'yeah fear us' when he didn't have as good as a grasp on his powers and just Panicked anytime anyone came up but now he's more like 'yeah just leave us alone pls'.

Janus? Absolutely the local mom. Goes around forcing everyone to sleep well and to eat and to *preserve your goddamn voices you idiots, I know we all love singing here but our voices are Important ok-*

Also forces Remus to stop chasing local tiny fish and is the only one that can really keep him in line. (Roman can too, for the most part, but he doesn't rlly mind Remus' random shit for the most part.)

Logan usually leaves for at least part of the day to explore and find more things out. He exhausted most tests he could of the other fives' powers to understand them better in about the first month, but he still has it filed away in his Memory Brain. (And that memory of his is exceptional; another important part of what makes his powers useful, and thus extremely pertinent.) Other than that he's usually telling the others off for doing stupid shit or telling someone stuff if they want to hear. (One of the others sits down every couple days and lets him infodump on specific fish and stuff like that. Sometimes verbally, sometimes through his hums, depending on the day.)

Patton is usually goin' around spreading good feels and fixing any bad ones he finds along the way. He's always checking on everyone, always making sure everyone's happy and ok, and they make sure he is in turn.

Sidenote for the Glasses Boys: yeah no I don't think they have glasses. Maybe it's more like...hm...they were born with slightly weak voices, ones that were wobbly. A simple fix, just as glasses are; simply more singing, more training of the voice, and they're mostly up to snuff.

Second sidenote, mermaids can sing without using their powers, but it's fairly rare as most see it as a necessity rather than something fun. The sides love singing, though, and random singing without a meaning at all can often be heard ringing through the tiny little home they've carved out.

I just realized I don't know how they sleep. Idk if/how this is going to work depending on what ocean creatures I choose, but currently the plan is they sleep in piles on the ocean floor, inside their grotto/cave thing. Sometimes just a couple of them sleep together, sometimes they'll all pile on. Depends on who goes to sleep when and what piles you want to join. The rule, though, is no one sleeps alone. It's just not as fun, and Patton insists. And we don't ignore Patton in this household, ok?

The twins like/hate sleeping together on their own depending on the night, though they almost always sleep together anyways. Just the two of them reminds them out at sea, alone when they were kids, but it also makes them feel *safe.* On the nights it reminds them of sadder days, they usually just beg one of the others to join them for the night.

It's basically a rule that *someone* has to oblige.

The twins don't sleep right without each other, honestly. Sometimes, though, they need someone else there to remind them of where they are now.

Idk what I'm going to do with the others' backstories, really. If nothing else, tho, current plan is that mermaid parents usually work like ours do; they raise a mermaid until it's mature enough to be out on it's own. This can change between species, though, and is mostly decided by the mermaid and it's parents according to species, preparedness, and like 50 other factors. So it's not quite as set-in-stone as it is for humans.

Remus and Roman were *certainly* too young when they were abandoned; maybe 10 years old when most leave at 16 to anywhere around 24.

No one knows where their mother went. Not even them.

Also just realized they don't have ages,,,,,,,,h

Note: mermaids live longer than humans (around 150 yrs mostly, deviates slightly depending on species) but they still use human ages, since they mature at...kinda the same rate. Sorta. Thomas, of course, will be living a little longer than most; probably 120 yrs or so, as most of his family is known for. (His great grandfather holds the record for humans at 140 yrs. Probably only a couple lines down from that og siren.)

Roman and Remus: 23

Virgil: 22

Patton: 24

Janus: 25

Logan: 24

Thomas: 23

Mermaid lifespans would probably be a lot shorter if most predators didn't know not to fuck with them. Even animals can understand that mermaids are *powerful,* and can and *will* protects themselves. Most mermaids live peacefully, unless they try to fight each other, which is actually kinda rare since they're usually loners or in small groups like The Boys are and they're usually pretty spread out.

Idk if I'm gonna do any romance for this AU...I'm kinda not in the mood?? Feelin like lettin this just be friends bein friends yknow

Idk. I think that's it for this idea for the moment. I'll come back with any major ideas/those ocean creature designations later, so yknow,,,,,,,,hype for that ig

[weeb-writings]

alisa teaching lev incorrect russian phrases

a certain groupchat im in with so many beautiful people has brought this idea to my attention. most definitely something i canon abt the two siblings now, i totally see it. 

special thanks to: @sarido275​ for this idea!! i love this so much and i hope this meets your expectations- 

warnings: swearing, a fight btwn siblings, also this is relatively long for a hc so brace yourself

genre: crack, fluff, angst? if you squint-

synopsis: lev’s (gorgeoues, beautiful, pretty, amazing, cute) sister, alisa, teaches lev russian phrases... except its all backwards...  

i used a couple websites: a b 

a/n: im writing a longer oneshot (haechan x reader) so this is something ive been working on, on the side. i hope you like whatever the frick frack this is-  

if you have any requests, shoot them in my dms or ask box! if you have any constructive criticism, let me know what i can fix and how! thank you uwu

*breathes* okay, this is straight up crack, like 

i literally see this happening btwn the two siblings, where lev’s sister alisa ends up teaching lev russian phrases with the incorrect translations 

she’s such a sweetie pie i dont see her intentionally teaching lev the incorrect translations for stuff- so yes,

with the power of google and tumblr i present to you: lev walking around like an idiot :) (i love him v much tho and hes baby all the way) 

okay lets start with the “basics” 

first off is хуй (pronounced: hooy), and it means dick 

omg i what am i writing 

okay so like, yaku probably does something nice for alisa (meaning he puts lev in check bc lev is stoopid)

and alisa decides to thank him like “you have such a big hooy yaku~~” 

and everyone on nekomas vbc team looks at the two siblings like ????? what did she just say 

and lev looks at her and she goes “hooy means heart!!” 

omfg not only lev, but all of nekoma is using this word now and its so bad bc they all say it so confidently whose gonna tell them- 

and like, whenever someone does anything remotely nice lev will tell them that they “have such a big hooy” and that they are so kind and that he appreciates them 

which ultimately, this term rubs off on karasuno and fukorodani (specifically hinata and bokuto) 

quite literally a term that spreads like wildfire and they all use it so mindlessly eye- 

okay, next term: Трахни тебя (pronounced: poshyol ty), and it means: fuck you (omg i hate writing swears bc lev is involved and he is BABY I CANNOT-) 

okay but alisa and lev are most likely parting ways early in the morning, and he is going to a summer week camp for vb practice (w the boys ayyy) omg i hate myself so much 

but like, she probably wants to say something along the lines of “i love you” but she ends up saying fuck you (dw, i checked and its the aggresive kind, no not the kinky aggresive just straight up like a screw you) pls i hate that im making this more awkward by the second 

okay but like, hes probably leaving in the morning and shes like “poshyol ty” and he kind turns back, confused look on his face 

and hes like “whats that mean????” and shes like, with a bright smile, “it means I LOVE YOU” and he repeats it a few times

and this poor bby uses this ALL the mcfreaking time now

yaku is abt to kick him? “pls stop poshyol ty” 

kuroo wants to give him shit for sucking at blocking? “im sorry but dont forget poshyol ty” 

omg KENMA WHEN HES MAD “kenma im so sorry youre the best pls poshyol ty” 

so it probably circulates around the team, and by now all of the nekoma vbc are using this on one another ALL the time

again, its something picked up by other teams 

i.e: bokuto to akaashi, hinata to kags, and it even reaches oikawa, who uses it on iwa, satori to ushijima (bye these r ships) 

but finally, poor alisa thought that by saying Отыебис от меныа (pronounced: otyebis ot menya) she was saying “your presence is nice” but in reality she was saying “get the fuck away from me” 

omg pls this is so terrible someone tell her-

but like anyways, when she says it so him, its when hes upset bc the whole team is upset at him bc he almost made the team lose

aka putting them at risk for his shitty blocking skills

and hes like “no one likes me, no one wants to be around me” 

and alisa is like: “hey, otyebis ot menya, and if its from me, they even appreciate you too :)”

and he asks her to explain the meaning to him and shes like “it means i appreciate your presence” 

and so he cheers up, and goes to practice the next day

and he apologises to everyone and then goes, “as much as i suck otyebis ot menya” 

like ????? and everyone appreciates it!! like >.< omg i hate this 

but in general, another phrase that spreads like wildfire!! 

at this point, everyone thinks hes a sweetheart (and dumbass) whos using loving terms with his team and friends!!

now, onto the “swear words” 

which, in reality, are words/phrases with positive meanings :( 

ah i really hope someone tells everyone wassup w these terms

but, lets start w this beautiful term: Я верю в тебя (pronounced: ya veryu v tebya)

this means: i believe in you (and reader, i believe in you, you can do anything you put your mind as long as it doesnt harm you or anyone)

but anyways, this is probably a term that slips out during a fight btwn the two siblings

is it weird that i cant imagine them fighting often, or at all- 

okay anyways, back to the hc

theyre probably fighting about how lev left his dirty laundry in the br after the shower, or how he left his dishes on the dining table and how he isnt necessarily cleaning up after himself

and shes tired of it, so she starts yelling at him

and shes like “oh my god! youre so useless! veryu v tebya” 

and he kinda stops saying anything back and stares at her c o n f u s e d

and shes like ?? whatre you looking so lost for

and hes like, what does that mean

and shes like, it means that you arent capable of anything. 

so this poor boy thinks that the term “i believe in you” now means “you arent capable of anything” 

when kenma, kuroo, and yaku treat him a little meaner on a bad day, he’ll be sure to mumble it under his breathe

when he blocks hinata’s spike, hes sure to yell it out proudly, and everyone kinda is like ???? 

and so he explains what it means, and 

hinata isnt phased by the fact that lev just called him incapable bc poor bby got to learn another russian phrase 

and then kenma puts two and two together and realizes what levs been calling him

*insert a mad kenma* 

*insert a mad kuroo*

*insert a mad yaku* 

okay but srsly the whole nekoma vbc starts using this term to clown lev when he messes up!!

in reality, everyones the clown bc theyre using the wrong term altogether

another term lev would learn from alisa, would be Мой милый ангел (pronounced: moy miliy angel) 

and what alisa thinks it means is : you are not an angel/youre a fallen angel/youre the devil 

bc like some languages dont have a term for something, so they use another term and then the word not in front of it, so alisa assumes thats what it is 

so she just assumes this word is something to call someone a devil or basically imply theyre a bad person 

this term slips out from alisa, when someone says a comment about lev during a game, 

ooooo lets say the nekoma vs. nohebi game to make it to nationals 

and someone says something along the lines of lev being a terrible blocker

from across the court

and out of nowhere 

alisa is like “hes better than you! moy miliy angel” 

poor bby thought she was defending her brother

okay she was but still- 

you know what i mean 

but anyways, everyone looks at her 

and she just shrugs it off bc she doesnt owe anyone an explanation

but after the game, yaku’s younger sister brings it up in front of them

and she explains to everyone that it means a devil 

and theyre all like ?? 

alisa saying something mean- this is new

but in her defense it was bc she was standing up for her brother

as she should- 

but on a real note, lev adopts this term to roast people during plays and makes them confused hehehe their faces r funny bc they get so lost and bam nekoma scores

a term that kageyama adopts

he expands his vocab when hes mad at hinata from boke, to boke and moy miliy angel 

tanaka probably uses this term on people who piss him off

imagine him saying it w his buddha face LMAO

but lastly, a term that lev would learn from alisa is Радость моя

this term is pronounced as radost moya

it means “my joy” 

so, when alisa is stressing over something (maybe hw, maybe over the fact that lev keeps making a fool of himself in front of yakus sister) 

she’s like muttering under her breath, 

“this is gonna be the death of me, ugh why is this radost moya“ 

like LMAO she thinks this term means terrible, or my bad luck

no sweetie its the opposite

its just so funny, lev hears her and she explains the term

so he begins to use it all the time

and i mean ALL THE TIME

when he cant block? radost moya. when someone reminds him that he isnt the ace? radost moya. 

so, when bokuto is in emo mode, lev is like radost moya, its just bl (ha if your mind went to boy-) bad luck

and bokuto is immediately out of his emo mode bc he is LEARNING a new term from his fave russian teacher uwu

but again, a term that spreads like wild fire

this is what kags calls hinata, iwa to oikawa, and semi to shirabu

overall, alisa teaching lev incorrect russian phrases, is lev teaching the whole of anyone who plays volleyball ever incorrect russian phrases

these humans look like straight up clowns 

i CaNnOt emphasize how dumb they look- 

basically just becomes a crack fest

bonus (kinda-): 

lev, kenma, kuroo, tsuki, kags, akaashi, bokuto, yams, and yaku all went to the fish market one day

they all witness kuroo, bokuto, lev and hinata do something stupid with their shared one brain cell

so, naturally, the others flame them in russian

and someone nearby is like 

“aww its so sweet you believe them,, your friendship is so cute“

queue the whole crew (ugh i hate that term but its better than squad) turning to look towards lev 

and BAM they all start asking this random person for translations on stuff

they all look so shocked and mad and sad

*insert a mad kenma*

*insert tsuki mocking everyone*

just funNy stuff hahahaha

okay imma head out bc wtf did i just write-

[jackals-horny-jail-archive]

i also forgot about this, again it's not Horny but im like wh. where is this gonna go

under a cut for length, dog <> ghb having a cyber pile session

Dog: so update: i miss you >:c

Dog: remind me who's idea you wandering all the FUCK way off was?

Ghb: aww fuck best bud i miss you too

Ghb: BUT YOU UP AN KNOW I GOTTA DO HER IMPERIOUS'S BIDDING

Dog: bluhhhhhhhhhhh. bluh. bluh!!!!

Ghb: you gonna just spend all day bluhhin at me doll?

Dog: ….probably. maybe

Dog: anyway! hows your jobb goin?

Ghb: FUCKIN BORING HONESTLY. BUNCH OF FISH BITCHES TALKING ABOUT BULLSHIT I DONT RIGHTLY CARE ABOUT

Ghb: an guess. take a fucking guess who's here

Dog: OHHH let me guess hmmm. a certain drama queen fishy bastard?

Ghb: MOTHERFUCKIN. DUALSCAR. I SWEAR TO THE MESSIAHS I'M GONNA THROW HIM OUT THE AIRLOCK ONE OF THESE DAYS

Dog: no!!!! >:0 im the one that gets to murder him

Ghb: fine but i get to watch

Dog: pfft yeah okay deal babes, but you have to come back first >:/ i miss you??

Ghb: DONT YOU WORRY LIL BROTHER ILL BE BACK SOON. HOWVE YOU BEEN AT THE HIVE BY YOUR LONESOME? I KNOW SOMETIMES YOUR PAN UP AN RUNS AWAY FROM YA

Fg: aslfhsjo. listen,,,,,,

Ghb: im listenin :0) you know i always am <>

Dog: 1st off i hate you <>

Dog: 2nd off: i hate you! <><><>

Dog: 3rd off:

Ghb: HMMMM?

Dog: t h i r d off there's a v small tiniest of chances that a buoy has been struggling as it were

Dog: B O Y GOD DAMN IT THE BASTARD IS IN MY BRAIN

Ghb: awww best friend :0( you wanna glub about it?

Dog: FIRST OFF I LITERALLY HATE YOU

Dog: second again I'm. listen. i would not like,,,object to a feelings jam and or a pile abt it because my brain has been really dumb

Dog: BUT LIKE

Dog: I KNOW YOU'RE BUSY SO ITS FINE!!! no more typing im fine!!!!

Dog: you put those fingers down >:0 im f i n e

Ghb: HEY NOW BEST BUDDY, DEEP BREATH

Ghb: deeep breath for me most miraculous buddy of mine

Ghb: I CAN DUCK OUT OF HERE EARLY :0)

Ghb: her imperious condescension and her boytoy can just up and fucking deal

Ghb: JUST GIVE ME A FEW MINS ALRIGHTY BEST BUD?

Dog: akdhhsksl,,,,,,okay,,,,

-----

Ghb: honk honk honk :0)

Dog: ughh you're horrible i changed my mind go back,

Ghb: AWW YOU LOVE ME THOUGH ;0) <>

Dog: LIES AN SLANDER???

Dog: <><><><>

Ghb: so how you feelin lil bro? your pan still up an botherin you?

Dog: im! fine akdgk dw im okay my mini melt down was dumb bc i am jus a lil dumb,

Ghb: >:0( HEY NOW DONT YOU GO AN TALK ABOUT YOURSELF LIKE THAT

Ghb: youre not dumb, your pan just sometimes likes to scurry away without you an you know better than to say that nonsense about your fine self

Ghb: BEST BE UP AN GETTING YOUR APOLOGY ON

Dog: you come in my messaging,,,,you make me be nice to my me,,,,i hate you. but fine @ myself im sorry for being mean to my me Again

Ghb: thank you miraculous bro! that was a mighty fine apology :0) apology accepted?

Dog: akdhsk yes apology accepted an junk if it'll make you be quiet

Ghb: NOPE! :0)

Ghb: where you at best lil diamond mine? curled up on the pile?

Dog: there is a non zero chance i am yes,,,an i uh. added to it a lil

Ghb: OH?

Dog: i hate youuuuu

Dog: i uh. stole one a your jackets,,,,im cuddled up in it. i look like im in a pale porno GOD

Ghb: SHIT BROTHER THAT IS

Ghb: absolutely the cutest fuckin thing i've heard today :0)

Dog: shut!!!!

Dog: what uh. what about you?

Ghb: IM ALL LAYING ON A COMFY ASS PILE MYSELF, STOLE SOME EXTRA BLANKETS FROM SOME EMPTY ROOMS

Ghb: wish you were here though so i could warm a brother up ;0)

Dog: jfhjffk o..oh?

Dog: wh. how would you start?

Ghb: FIRST ID GET ALL COMFY NEXT TO YA, ALL CURLED UP AROUND YOUR TINY LIL SELF

Ghb: you're always so fuckin cold all the time, colder than the fish even

Dog: my body is simply a Bastard tbh. hfjk that sounds so nice tho,,,

Ghb: YEAH? WHY DONT YOU CUDDLE DOWN IN THE BLANKETS FOR ME, GET YOURSELF NICE AN TOASTY

Dog: mmmm,,,,,,yeah okay that's. that's good

Ghb: IT IS ISN'T IT? FEELS SO GOOD TO BE WARM

Ghb: you deserve to feel good lil bro, an id make you feel even better if i was there, rub your arms an get some of that good good heat in there, maybe even work out some of the knots in your shoulders, i know you keep a lot of tension there. it's like a couple a rocks in there

Dog: hhh y,,yeah i do huh?

Dog: id uh. id want to squirm around eventually so i can kiss at your jawline an neck. an maybe bite a lil? its. it's fun

Dog: not like ROUGH bites like i do with crofish but uh, lil nips. on, on your earfins too if that's okay

Ghb: ITS SO FUCKIN CUTE, YOU GOT THOSE LIL BABY FANGS IT FEELS LIKE A LIL PURR BEAST NIPPIN AT ME

Ghb: and it tickles something fierce when you get at my fins! id have to get you back in the ribs >:0)

Dog: jhdjfkf NO RUDE!! i changed my mind id bite you So Hard

Ghb: AWW YOURE SO MEAN TO ME WHEN IM TRYING TO TREAT YOU SWEET

Ghb: now a question for you: how do you want me to wind you down my most wonderful lil buddy?

Dog: maybe uh. fuck, damn

Ghb: SHH TAKE YOUR TIME SWEET THING YOU CAN DO IT

Dog: i uh. i like it when you pet me. an talk all sweet to me, but like that kinda mean sweet? s. smean,,,

Ghb: aww fuck i can certainly do that sweet thing :0)

Ghb: here im even gonna get all quiet for you, you like it when i talk soft with you huh? you get all blushy when i do with that miracle red on your cheeks

Ghb: why don't you touch yourself for me, real gentle. spread your hand out on your stomach an press down jus a lil bit

Ghb: i could break you right in half if i wanted on account of you being so little

Ghb: but i won't because im so pale for you sweetling

Dog: hhhhhfjgk shit

Ghb: aww look at you, that's my good boy

Ghb: you get flustered so easy, you never really let anyone treat you kind like you deserve huh?

Dog: noo,,,,it feels. weird hhf

Ghb: we'll were gonna have to change that aren't we? im just gonna have to treat you real soft til you learn it's safe

Ghb: fuck you're such a pitiable lil thing aren't you. why don't you trace your hand up your chest for me, just a lil bit of claw

Ghb: and then cup your cheek real soft

Dog: o. oh,,hm

Ghb: i wanna hold your face lil diamond, nuzzle up in your neck and tell you how precious you are to me

Ghb: just let yourself relax now okay? let me do the work for once <>

Ghb: you're such a pitiable lil doll, every time i look at you i feel like my blood pusher is about to stop. and you don't even know it? you don't even know what a sweetly pathetic lil thing you are? like a teeny lil purrbeast

Ghb: and you trust me so much, you shouldn't do that my lil diamond. you've seen the kind of things i can do. and yet i put my hand on your head and you melt like you ain't ever been touched gentle once in your whole life

Ghb: fuck i love to see that, i love you. im gonna keep telling you that til it gets in your pan proper

Ghb: i love you, i love you. im gonna take care of you always you hear me? you're always gonna be safe with me, im not gonna let a single damn person lay a hand on you without your permission

Ghb: you're probably starting to get a lil tired, i know you get all worked up and crash so fast. you gonna rest now lil diamond mine?

Dog: hhh y. yeah,,

Dog: m pale for you <>

Ghb: pale for you too lil lamb <> pale as bones and stardust :0)

Ghb: just a few more days and ill be home to pile with you proper

[boyshoujo]

u don't even know me but u already kno me and my personality?? wow u must be a sorcerer.................. but im indeed problematic, and ummm i don't like filet o fish??? i hate her but we go to mcdonald's almost everyday and im forced to eat something so it's the only choice i have........ the meat and chicken at mcdonald's tastes like plastic but that damn fish tastes REAL!!! she isn't fake..............

yea Whatever….. a few days ago u told me that “filet of fish gives [you] emotional support” ???? but when i out u suddenly u hate her??? what’s the truth :/

what’s wrong with hadaka shitsuji???? its a funny game!!! don’t u like the main character tomoaki?? he’s the only good main character ive ever seen in my life and he’s a sadistic bitch??? i love sadistic binches cuz they are like me!!! i felt like “i” was in the game when i saw him, he killed everybody and i was proud of this ugly fuck cuz thats what i would do if i was in this game,,,,,,,,,, i would do more fucked up things than him but anyway, i don’t like fedoras!!!!! i just like that dude-

LFSJLKFSJKSF bceuacuse IT’s A BAD GAME!!!!!!!! ITS BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! actually you remind me of tomoaki???? a lot???? gotta add that to ur callout list……………

-cuz he’s funny and btw he’s the one wearing a purple jacket and his name is hashizuka and that fake loser who is a cheap version of sergei is called junichi :/ and tbh i send u furry asks cuz ur the only one who accepts me for who i really am,,,,,,,,, like i sent some arcana blogs some asks about fucking a fictional goose and a donut kink and they just said “what the fuck” and ehh they’re so serious?? like chill its just a joke jfc sharon :/ i go to their pathetic edgy blogs and this is how they treat me???? i just wanted to cheer ur edgy ass up sharon don’t act like ur 70 dammit just accept a joke lol

LFKSKFSJK bicht i’m literally 0.00039 seconds into the game u rec’d and???? /?? ??? literally ALL of the guys r pathetic???? they go to a school called Charming Cherries lFKJLF AAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT IS THIS does this mean the principal guy is a Veteran Cherry…………………..binch…. that’s Why he wears a fedora………………………………..i accidentally picked the annoying know-it-all guy so i’ll go for him first and then mayb try the ceo guy……dONUT KINK,,,,,,,,,,,,,, , > >>>???/ ??/ ?? ??? ?? no offense but i’d be like ???????????? GET OUTTA MY INBOX???????? HOW DARE U COME IN AND DISRESPECT MY BRAND LIKE THIS??? ?? ?? ?? ? ………….anyways i wanna hear about the donut kink LOLIKR!!!!!!! !  ! i hate people who r too serious………………………i mean…. im actually p serious Tbh but some people on this website can’t take jokes????? i saw a shitpost where this person was like “some of yall need 2 get mugged lol” and people were like “why do u want people to suffer so bad??? SHOULD I JUST DIE THEN!!! DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE!!!!” and im like …………… wtf chill Ashley lmao………

i feel like if i ever met u we would be the best friends ever?? actually i would be the one who’s crying cuz we both have the same taste?? ik a lot of characters like segrei and vincent so if u want me to tell u their names im gonna say it in another ask, and i like how u don’t judge me unlike all of my new friends ;^( i had a friend in middle school in 7 grade and i told her a lot of weird shit and she didn’t judge me??? she was a true friend indeed……………….

give me more sergei characters 👏👏👏👏 also DW im deFINITELY JUDGING YOU LMAO but im amused and laughing at the same time?? sometimes u send me asks and im like ???? ????? ? ?? ?? ?? ? ? ????????wtf lmao ? ??? ?

im sure if we talked more ur gonna find out that we’re literally friend-mates= 2 lonely binches who got the same taste in fictional character and idk but we would be the best bff’s ever tbh?? ur the friend who i have been searching for years?? everyone finds my thirst and my “weeaboo” ass (although im not a fuckin weeaboo im just thirsty for fictional characters!!) too weird and they always say “u can’t take ANYTHING seriously!!” like?? im 5???? why should i take anything seriously?? im not 70??

gfgfg bicth? i don’t even know anything about you, how can we be friends!!!!! WHO ARE YOU!! ! !! ! we should make a Lonely Bitch club but the requirements to enter are: do u play otome? would u body slam lucio into the pavement??? would u fuck the goth fish from finding nemo?? r u a thirsty ho????

i thought u would say “she’s a thot lol” and u would agree with me that she’s a thot??? if we didn’t know each other im trying to know her??? im trying to be friends with her????? how am i going to be friends with her if i didn’t talk to her?? fuck that shitty book??? im more important???? im sure she can read that damn book at her home and not in school!!!!!!! she should study like the rest of us………. and she shouldn’t study HER book!!!!!!!!!!!!

JKSJLSJKSJF i just realized, all of my friendships w/ virgos happened bc they woULDNT STOP TALKING/BOTHERING ME LOL this is why i love virgos…………. ur like stray cats that just never stop meowing until u let them in……maybe u should bother her more FKLSJFKJFS and she’ll finally crack

if i ever tried to read a book it should have pictures in it cuz i don’t want to imagine all that shit by myself!!!!!!! just add a fucking picture jfc…………….. i was exactly like that when i was a kid and im still the same??? i haven’t changed much tbh and im glad???? im glad i still have that silly trait of mine lol 

no offense but READ?????????? imagining things is fun??????????????? books r so much fun????????? wtf???rn im reading a book about some ugly french guy from the 18th century with a Superhuman sense of smell who kills girls to make The Ultimate Perfume or whatever?? im barely like 50 pages in, but he killed his first girl?? and literally shoved his nose up her ass?? it was wild?????? books r wild??????

we’re going to study about christopher columbus this year and his ugly face is in my book???? like bitch why u gotta curse my book with ur disgusting face???? im going to roast this bitch when we get to his part in the book and everyone is going to ask me: “binch y are u angry???” and im like “why don’t u do some fuckin research sharon abt this ugly fuck and then ur going to understand why im angry” like get out of my book u lil bitch!!!!!!! that dam book is cursed now!!!!!!!

👏👏👏 END HIm

I LIKE TALKING ABOUT THE WEATHER TOO!!!!! im just kidding but what’s ur favorite season???? mine is winter cuz uhhhh its winter???? everyone who hates winter is canceled??? lucio loves summer and is canceled????

fall-winter???? bc halloween…….. and american thanksgiving is fucked up bc it essentially celebrates the genocide of native americans but tbh……..i love turkey…… (we eat roast turkey and mashed potatoes n pumpkin pie n stuff for thanksgiving)also i just love it when the weather gets colder??? i get to dress up??? and be fashionable??? when it’s hot, all i wear are t shirts and shorts which is Boring it doesn’t snow where i live though lmao and it’s typically warm year-round where i live :/ winter is the only time i get to pull out all my cute sweaters and jackets but some winters only get cold for 2 weeks lmao :—–/

so you’re american right???? which means u have halloween rn??? or does it start on 31 if im not mistaken???? sadly we don’t have halloween here……………………………………………. they consider it “an event where people worship satan” here lmao

halloween is only one day (31st) SKJKSJ

i think its hot if batman would ever judge me

KSJKFSJFKLJFSK i;m gonna frame this ask Bye

[bwicblog]

RS: | I Emerge From the Kitchen | Victorious | ! | RS: | I had to Resort to a Recipe | I am Afraid |

RS: | But | I still Experimented | and I am Pleased with What I Created | So | RS: | That is What Counts | ? | Haha |

RS: | Anyway | I should Clean | RS: | But | ! | I am Leaving This Here | RS: http://68.media.tumblr.com/92ed838ec2f15c55b589a2a0aca03215/tumblr_mwmmoelMPM1solp3co1_1280.jpg

RS: | Forgive the Hay | That is the Only Spot in This Entire Hive | that has Adequate Lighting |

SA: i was going to send hadean the hotel address.

SA: but instead this is here

SA: something in me has died.

RS: | Hahahaha |

RS: | What | Are You not a Fan of Seafood | ? | =:) |

SA: pheres you put shrimp in gelatin.

SA: why in god's name did you put shrimp in gelatin.

RS: | I was Curious to See How It would Taste | ! |

RS: | Also | It is Not Just Shrimp | Obviously |

RS: | I Emulsified a Fish | for Flavour |

SA:

SA: 😖

RS: | =:) |

ID: have you... tried... it...?

RS: | You Know | If You are Coming Up to Retrieve the Gremlin | I can Make You a Plate for the Road |

RS: | Oh | No | Of Course Not |

SA: no please no

RS: | I'm not Eating It |

SA: i will have my bourbon salmon at my five star restaurant, thank you.

RS: | =:( |

RS: | Perhaps I have Poured Bourbon into This | Prisma |

RS: | You do not Know With Any Certainty |

RS: | Unless You Try It | ! |

SA: i said bourbon salmon not that I am an alcoholic.

RS: | Well | If This has a Fish | RS: | And It Has Bourbon |

ID: ...who did you. make this for...?

RS: | Is There Really a Difference Between the Bourbon Salmon |

RS: | And My Bourbon | Uh |

RS: | | |

SA: pheres... that's. not how cooking works.

RS: | Gelatin | Shrimp | Fish | Creation | ? |

RS: | Yes | Well | People Keep Telling Me That | But I have Yet to be Convinced |

RS: | =:P |

SA: i sent the reservation information, hadean.

SA: I have to go lie down before pheres stresses me out any further.

RS: | Oh | I'm only Teasing | RS: | I wouldn't Feed It to You | It was Made for Emerel's Viewing Pleasure | Don't Worry | =:) |

ID: hahah. i think you already spooked him off...

RS: | Oh | ! |

RS: | | I didn't Genuinely Upset Him | Did I | ? |

RS: | He is rather Difficult to Read | But I was only Teasing |

ID: i think your. creation just. upset his... refined palate.

ID: and he's had, uh. a long night to boot...

ID: so i wouldn't worry about it.

RS: | Oh | ! |

RS: | Ah | That's Unfortunate | RS: | Do Tell Him I was Joking | ? | If You Would | ? | I Hope He Feels Better Later |

ID: i'll pass the message along, he'll probably just request that you never cook him anything ever. dnw.

RS: | Hahaha | RS: | I can Cook | ! | I just | Choose to Experiment | It is More Fun that Way |

RS: | Are You Aware that You can Cook a Roast in the Microwave | ? | RS: | Or | Ah | The Revolving Radiation Machine | =:B |

ID: ahahah you might want to. post a picture next time you make something that looks nicer... so he can see.

ID: no. but i don't have much interaction with revolving radiation machines!

RS: | Ah | But What does He Consider Nice | ? |

RS: | That is the Question | ! |

RS: | Because He was Parading His Five Star Restaurant like A Badge of Merit | RS: | And I Have Eaten at Enough of Those | that I am Aware of the Sort of Things They Sell | RS: | I do not Make a Habit of Cooking Songbirds | Tragically | Sipara would Object | =:B |

ID: hahah he seems to like seafood i guess. i know he likes sushi.

ID: and sweet stuff. like desserts.

ID: and citrus.

RS: | Oh | Everyone loves Citrus | That hardly Counts |

RS: | But | I suppose I will Have to Strive to Impress Him with Something Nicer | Next Time | RS: | Some Sweet | Citrus | Desert | =:P |

RS: | Do You Cook | ? |

ID: i catch things and usually fry them on a fire. but i don't know if that... counts...

RS: | I don't See Why It Wouldn't |

ID: i dunno. i always think of cooking as... using an appliance. and spices.

RS: | Nonsense | RS: | I Mean | Yes | Spices are Lovely | But It is Still Cooking | RS: | They are Hardly Necessary to the Creation of a Meal |

RS: | Salads Don't Require Either of Those Things | And They still Constitute Cooking | RS: | | I Think | Haha |

ID: fair point. i. also think.

ID: =:P

RS: | =:B |

RS: | Are You Feeling Alright | ? |

RS: | Oh | That was Abrupt |

RS: | | Mm | The Question Remains |

ID: i mean. a little. but i don't have room to judge do i? =:P

ID: i'm. fine!

RS: | =:? |

RS: | Are You Certain | ? |

ID: i mean. mostly fine. wounded ego and all that stuff.

RS: | Yes | I Noticed That | RS: | You're being Meeker than Usual |

RS: | It doesn't especially Suit You | RS: | | =:/ | Is There Anything I Can Do to Help | ? |

ID: haah, no. it's fine! me and sips are gonna fix it. things'll be fine in. a few nights probably!

ID: and pris. pris is helping too.

RS: | Are They | ? | That's Good |

RS: | A Touch Alarming | Given Her Preference of Solutions | But | Well | RS: | I suppose That is the Three of You's Business | Haha |

ID: ...hahah, yeah. though in her defense she did not come up with the solution, merely... encouraged it?

ID: what are you up to now that your. masterpiece is complete...?

RS: | Oh | Should I Ask What Your Solution Is | ? | Haha |

ID: ....uh.

RS: | Mm | Don't Fret | I won't Ask Further |

RS: | If You Don't Want Me To |

RS has attached BONES.JPEG! It's a picture of a kitchen table that's been meticulously cleaned off and is covered in large white bracelets large enough to slip over a horn. Several have designs carved into them, and one is in the process of being carved, going by the dremel drill nearby.

ID: ahahah, just a little fight. nothing impressive.

ID: huh. that's neat. seems like a lot of work!

RS: | Oh | Haha | You are Like Sipara | Aren't You | ? | RS: | Mm | Be Careful | ! |

ID: dw, dw. nothing like a new fight to make you forget about the old one, right?

RS: | Yes | Well | That |- IS -| Her Philosophy | RS: | Haha |

RS: | It Is a Lot of Work | But It is Relaxing | And | It's Worth It | RS: | Considering How Specialised Most Horn Accessories have to Be |

ID: it's a good philosophy! =:P

ID: yeah that makes sense. is this a hobby for you?

RS: | It Is | ! | I Make My Jewelry | Haha | RS: | It Isn't As If I Have Any Other Use for All Of These Bones |

ID: are these for you then? or do you make them for other people?

RS: | I Make Them for Myself | Sipara Prefers Gold Jewelry |

RS: | And Emerel Only Wears Black | Haha | RS: | Would You Like One | ? | =:) | I Expect They could Fit You Well Enough |

ID: i think my rack has a lot going on already. but thanks for the offer! they do look nice.

RS: | Mm | Yes | RS: | I suppose There might Be Objections to My Attempting to Dress You Again | Given the Faire | as Well | =:P |

ID: hey, i was mostly alright with the outfit! =:P the vents did keep me cooler.

RS: | Mostly Alright | RS: | =:P |

RS: | Well | As Long as They Kept You Cool | Their Purpose was Well-Served | Haha | RS: | Are You Getting Along Well with Sipara | Then | ? |

ID: hey, it was a drastic step away from my usual t-shirt and jeans okay. mostly alright is as good as it gets.

ID: oh. uh, yeah! we're having fun.

IA: Hell-o every-one!

RS: | Is This Travelling Arrangement Permanent | ? | I am Just Curious | RS: | And | Hello | IA | ! | How are You | This Fine Night | ? | =:) |

ID: uh. i don't know about that. we didn't talk about it or anything...

ID: hi ia.

IA: I'm quite well, thank y-ou f-or asking! And y-ourself, RS?

IA: Hi ID! Did y-ou fight y-our friend yet?

ID: i wouldn't say he's a friend. =:P and not yet.

IA: I see.

RS: | Oh | My Apologies | ! | I am Not Trying to be Invasive | RS: | Merely Curious | But | Ah | I think I am Asking Too Many Questions Tonight | RS: | And It is Unkind | Given Your Nerves | So | Sorry | =:( |

RS: | I am Lovely | IA | Thank You for Asking | ! | RS: | Attempting a Night Without Work |

RS: | It is Not Going Entirely Well | I am Unsure How People Manage It | ! |

RS: | Although | I have Captured Two Infantile Meowbeasts | RS: | One Squirrel | and a Large Snake that were All Roaming Near My Matesprit's Hive | RS: | So That was a Touch of Excitement |

ID: ehh. it's fine...?

IA: D-o y-ou w-ork f-or a shelter? --Or animal c-ontr-ol, RS?

RS: | Ah | Your Text says One Thing | Hadean | RS: | But Your Love of Periods | Your Use of Uhs | and Your General Hesitance | RS: | Implies Otherwise | =:P | Haha |

RS: | And | No | I Don't | RS: | His Hive is Simply out in a Rural Area | So There are a Number of Small Animals | RS: | that Enjoy Attempting to Breach the Interior | and I'd Rather Kabiir Not Eat Them |

IA: --Oh n-o! That s-ounds very unpleasant f-or the kittens and squirrels and snakes. G-o-od j-ob keeping them safe!

RS: | | RS: | Thank You | ! | =:B |

RS: | You should Both Tell Me About Your Hobbies |

RS: | If I have Not Scared Hadean Off Entirely | Haha |

IA: I d-on't have many -outside -of w-ork I'm afraid. I'm a little b-oring :(

IA: I'm t-o-o much -of a w-orkah-olic, th-ough I d-o enj-oy watching tv s-ometimes, d-oes that c-ount?

ID: sorry to report not scared off! am checking in to a hotel tho.

RS: | Oh | Nonsense | ! | I am Sure You are Perfectly Fascinating | RS: | We all Think Ourselves Boring | After All | But That is Merely Over-Exposure at Work | =:B | RS: | Television Certainly Counts |

RS: | And | Oh | ! | What Sort of Hotel | ? |

RS: | Or | Well | Never Mind | RS: | Are You Two Already at The City | ? | ? |

ID: yeah. uh. it's a...

ID: ...it's a. really fucking nice hotel.

IA: That's g-o-od!

AA: he is lying. AA: it is the best fucking hotel i have evern seen, holy shit. they have G O L D D O O R K N O B S.

RS: | ? | Oh My | AA: G O L D D O O RN K N O B S.

ID: ...where's the room service stuff.

ID: i can't. imagine what the room service is like.

AA: (oh my god, i bet the rnoom sernvice ppl arne, like, fucking tela.)

AA: (tela.)

AA: ( T E A L S. )

IA: Check the bathr-o-om, d-o they have bubble p-orts built int-o the garden tubs?

IA: Th-ose are always my fav-orite and y-ou kn-ow y-ou have a g-o-od h-otel if they have th-ose.

ID: why are there two traps. man this is fancy.

AA: bc prnisma is considernate and wants to have a bathtub parnty, duh.

AA: you two can soak like fish and hollern acrnoss the hall. >:}

AA: it is B O N D I N G.

AA: .. shit, he needs to grnow out his headfluff so i can brnaid it.

AA: and y! therne arne bubble pornts. i think. wtf is a garnden tub.

ID: so are you saying you aren't gonna soak like a fish. =:P

IA: Ah, a garden tub is a very big, r-o-omy tub. Excellent t-o share and usually deep en-ough t-o, s-o t-o speak, s-oak like a fish.

ID: ....oh there's an outside.

SA: do you see the building with the amber dome?

ID: pris! uhhhh. yes.

SA: i am on the third floor from the top of that building, right set of four windows.

SA: hello.

AA: y, y. me and prni will rnotate tubs like schools of fish. orn w/e. obvs. >:P

AA: omg omg. AA: prniiiiiiiiiii. can you see the waving? >:}

ID: we are now both waving. =:P

SA: sort of.

SA: not really.

SA: I could get a scope out and then I could see you, however.

ID: oh well. we can see each other tomorow. for food.

SA: i will pick somewhere less awe-striking than the hotel. I don't wish to spoil you both 😂

ID: too late. the moment our fronds touched the golden doorknobs we were forever ruined.

AA: ^^^

IA: They're sp-oiled n-ow, Pris. They -only deserve the best n-ow.

SA: I didn't think they were solid gold...

SA: i did better than I thought. 😊

AA: it's trnue. >:P and you should totes pull out the scope, prni, and get a gandern of my totes sweet outfit. AA: like, N O RN M A L L Y, i'm like, all against folks pointing guns, but it's wornth it. since yrn not overn herne.

AA: it has a headband!!

ID: i do like the headband.

ID: soon i too will have a sweet outfit. we can all look sweet together.

SA: Maybe I will then.

SA: Hang on.

SA: yes I see you now.

SA: look at you.

SA: adorable

SA: I'm happy you're here in the city finally

IA: This is such a sweet c-onversati-on.

IA: I'm s-o glad f-or all -of y-ou t-o meet!

SA: yes.

SA: ❤

AA: 💚

IA: Are y-ou guys dating? :)

ID: sorry it took us a while pris. =:P 💚

AA: uh. uhhhhhhhh.

ID: are you both cheating on me with each other? =:'(

ID: i'm crushed.

AA: n, soz, as much as i love, like, havin' _two_ dudes hanging off my arnm.. AA: they'rne not prnetty enough.

AA: hads has only got hairn down to his ass. like, n, ankle orn bust, gtfo.

SA: i'm plenty pretty.

IA: --Oh, I'm s-orry, I was aiming that for SA and ID. I ap-ol-ogize!

SA: oh.

ID: man i knew all those trims i did weren't worth it-

IA: Y-ou b-oth seem very cl-ose and y-ou send each -other a l-ot -of hearts.

ID: oh man sorry sips you aren't in this ship anymore. time to drown.

AA: y, prni, yrn the prnettiest yellow at the ball. it is trnue. but -- AA: whaaat? gdi.

AA: stfu, hads, i'm gonna drnown both of you in the tubs in a jealous rnage now.

IA: N-ot t-o menti-on y-ou guys seem t-o talk with a sense -of tenderness ab-out and t-o each -other.

AA: that's totes how they do it, rnight?

SA: drowning is not the way I wanted to die.

IA: I didn't want t-o assume s-o I th-ought it'd be safe to ask.

ID: at least choke me out with a belt sips jeesh.

AA: n. if i cull you the way you want to, it's not a jealous rnage, duh.

AA: then it's just fucked up pitch.

AA: and who wants _that_. >:P

SA: do you want to consider Hadean's past reactions to things or are you happy assuming he wouldnt

SA: and no.

ID: wow rude.

SA: it's what i am here for.

SA: how are you tonight, IA.

AA: lmfao.

ID: if there's no green heart coming i'm gonna punch you- i'm punching you. =:'(

SA: --

SA: 💚

SA: do not punch me with your one arm.

AA: iiiiiiiii'm gonna go get some food. bbl, loserns.

SA: oh, see you later sipara.

ID: pick me up something. =:P

AA: n. >:}

IA: G-o-odbye! :)

ID: =>:'(

SA: ... is Sipara okay

ID: i hope so. =>:( since you said this is the city of violence and crime and nasty shit....

SA: ah.

SA: that too

SA: I have picked out a creperie for tomorrow

SA: also

ID: oh cool. uh is it close? or are you gonna come here and bring us... there.

SA: I only have one motorcycle and it is unsafe to move more than one other person on it

SA: we can walk, or I can call a car

SA: it is up to you two

ID: i'm sure we can walk.

ID: though hey you and sip both have bikes. neat.

SA: oh does she have one too? I thought she just had the truck?

ID: the bike can only fit so many trolls.

SA,: well yes 😛

ID: i'll wait up for her to get back here. hopefully it just took her a while to find a place that was affordable to eat...

SA: okay. Let me know when she comes back 😦

SA: I'd offer to talk until then but I don't really have anything to say.

SA: I can't believe i am getting a gremlin baby

ID: i will.

ID: that counts as something to say. what are you gonna... name it?

SA: ...I don't know.

SA: I could just. remain calling it gremlin.

SA: i could call it cupcake.

ID: well. time to think up a name before you get it.

SA: i want it to be cute.... that's all i know.

SA: it's so hideous it's name has to balance out it's ugliness.

SA: like sweetiepie gumdrop

ID: pffff. sweetie for short?

SA: Yes. Or gummy.

SA: i suppose gummy better fits you now though how many times you've been through the grinder in the last few days.

SA: how is your lip.

SA: is it no longer gummy

ID: =:P thanks pris.

ID: my lip healed up first. that was just... surface damage.

SA: it looked horrid though 😦 but mouth injuries usually do.

SA: i'm glad it's better.

ID: that's the fun of mouths! they bleed on everything.

AA: mouth injurnies arne the wooooornst. AA: 2bad you don't scarn, hads, orn you could've had a wicked sweet one.

SA: noses too.

SA: and if you're extremely talented.

SA: eyes.

SA: oh--

SA: sipara, hello.

SA: i was worried.

ID: man don't remind me of what could have been sips. =:'( also yes. we were worried.

AA: ?????

AA: dnw, dudes, i did not get mugged by any mean grneenies. >:}

ID: =:P or snatched up for who knows what. good!

SA: or blue bloods. mafias here like blue hires.

AA: lmfao. i don't sparnk enough forn that. >:P totes no good forn kidnapping, soz. AA: i did, howevern, mug a grneenie forn baked goods. AA: i come bearning D O N U T S.

AA: ... why do you have mafias??

AA: >:?

SA: what sort of domuts?

SA: because Provenance is riddled with criminal courts and mobs. they run the city.

AA: oh, shit. dornuts* AA: ty, ty.

ID: awww, and here i thought you said no to bringing me food. 💚

ID: man make sure you guys chain me up at day or else i might get stolen.

SA: only if they know where you are. Also they will take you and the chain with them.

SA: fun!

SA: you had mercy on him, sipara.

SA: a saint.

AA: n, hads, dn get me wrnong. AA: i brnought donuts, i didn't say you got to fucking eat 'em. >:P they arne for prni. duuuh. AA: 💚

SA: 😂

SA: eat one for me, sipara.

ID: =>:'(

AA: and wtf, wherne arne yrn legislacernatorns??

ID: maybe the mean mafia trolls will bribe me in to their cart with donuts.

SA: i'll give you all the "low down" when we are in my loft.

SA: if you wish.

SA: let us just say the police here are seldom better than the courts.

SA: there is a reason vigilant business like mine is so successful.

AA: laaaaaame. AA: temasek's a hole, but at least, like, the imps keep it fucking clean. >:{

SA: the only good police are in West Haven -- where almost no lowbloods actually stay.

SA: so it is moot.

ID: ...that's where we are right.

SA: 🤷

SA: yes.

SA: Unless you go to Port Solais and stir up trouble you should be fine. I was mostly exaggerating.

SA: but we do have "wake up in tubs of ice" stories.

ID: i thought we stuck out. =:P i thought it was our stunning personalities.

AA: lmfao. y, ditto. AA: thought the looks werne forn ourn grn8 looks. >:}

SA: yes they're fond of that.

SA: they will do it in restaurants too, at certain times or a tcertain ones.

SA: it isn't that West Haven is exclusively high blooded, but rather low bloods are only in it to work usually.

ID: ahh, highbloods. they never change.

SA: they do not.

SA: i still am trying to recover from the one who was

SA: very worried about my face

SA: while simulanteously handing me a bounty countract.

SA: yes, I need your sympathy and pity while you also throw me to the dogs to catch you ex quad.

SA; tell me more about what a poor baby i am.

ID: you're just too cute pris. but also useful. it's a hard balance for a poor charmed troll!

AA: shit, you two arne just rnegularn old pitybait.

SA: maybe if i get cracked in the face again i'll look "rugged" enough to deter their cooing.

SA: aren't we?

ID: only sips' mangled body can protect us now.

ID: awesomely mangled, btw.

AA: .. shit, you can't do what i do, neithern, can you? AA: b/c you'd get squicked if you went and hit on anyone pitch.

AA: starnt wearning a moirnail rning and tell 'em yrn taken. >:}

ID: oh, yeah. the rings thing.

SA: i don't think it would help.

SA: these are usually the sort of people who look at you and say

SA: well no one has to know, right.

SA: don't you want to have fun.

SA: 😐

SA: and then they reach for my thigh and it gets very awkward when i break their nose into their skull

SA: am I joking.

SA: am i serious.

SA: we will never know.

AA: make it fuchsia. come up with a hot heirness gillhead who's 2jelly not to call you on the hourn. AA: orn -- whoa wait what.

AA: ... idc if yrn joking orn srns.

AA: we should totes cull someone anyway. >:P

SA: 👀

SA: i would rather have a real quadrant than make one up.

SA: also let's avoid a group murder activity.

SA; I would like to show you all how nice Provenance is. When. people aren't dying.

AA: aww. i thought that was how we'rne gonna bond. >:"{

ID: damn, gotta put away my knives now. =:(

SA: ...

SA: 😮

SA: i must rest.

SA: goodlight. ❤

AA: light, dude. 💚

ID: oh, okay. light. =:) 💚