#i will not focus on the tiny details i fucked up im too lazy to go back and fix them 😭😭 ahskjhgjkhk i dont see it i dont see it

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

when you agree banana laffy taffy is the best flavor or smthn idk

redraw of this that i made to test out a brush i made using len's face LMAO

i kept seeing memes about people with brushes that used pngs of real people's faces as the base texture and i thought "wouldn't it be funny if i did that but with a vocaloid" and lo

[sosauced]

(Kiku) Japan x female NSFW imagines

I don’t see enough Japan content and it makes me sick. I’m so thirsty for his guy y’all don’t even wanna KNOW what I’d let him do to me. Imagine having mad sexual chemistry with him, oh god oh my god.

For starters, Kiku radiates big dick energy and that needs to be further examined by the fandom cause this man can absolutely lay fucking pipe, he can do so with confidence in the right situation. Like he may not be a “you, me, now.” Type of guy but..Yanno what just read the essay I’ve prepared cause I would fuck this guy so hard.

-Kiku is so attentive and pays great attention to details of his friends likes and dislikes, this leaks into his very being. He can take subtle hints and reads them well. He can use this quality to pinpoint every tiny little erogenous zone on his lovers body and abuse them til you’re practically in heat for him. He’d lick and suck and bite and kiss and rub every inch of your body until you’re begging him to just fuck you. Master of rational thinking, he’d never let your pleads get him to go faster than his own pace. “Clear your mind, my kitten.” He whispers, those dark eyes of his pouring mediation and peace into yours as he slides a finger in. “Focus on what you feel right now, don’t get greedy.” (HNNN NNNNNNNNNGGGGGG IM FERAL FOR THIS)

-Since he has a natural ability to take a hint, he uses that to read when you’re even thinking about something dirty. Imagine it now, you’re sitting across from him, his eyes unwavering as he locks onto yours, you’ve been shifting in your seat more than usual since you’ve sat down. Kiku can read that hazed look in your eyes from across a room, he’s so in tune with what you want. So, although He usually finds it rude to do so but he takes his phone from his pocket, and sends you a quick text. “Settle down, make it through dinner and I’ll give you what you want. Just be patient for me.”

-Natural soft dom, anyone who says otherwise can throw hands with me. He’s direct but polite, and he isn’t shy to tell someone when they have crossed a line with himself or others. If you’re the type to enjoy a gentle reminder that you need to stay in your lane or relax (or If you’re like me and don’t know when to shut up and need someone to help) he can offer gestures of comfort, such as leaning into your neck and blowing gently on your skin, he’d offer his hand to you or latch his pinky around yours to ground you. He’s so intimate, uuuuuugh.

-OH GOD BUT WHEN YOU GET HOME!!!!!! He’s slow and lazy as he traps you up against the wall, his arm resting above your head, his knee pushing your legs apart and his free hand pushes your hair back, idly holding the strands between his fingers and he takes a deep breath of your scent. He’d hum and rest his forehead against yours as his fingers make way down the back of your dress, unzipping you from the fabric. He’s so slow, and your breath is hitching and his eyes look dreadfully intense as he drops your garment around your ankles. “Kiku?” “Y/N…” he’d huff as he pets the pad of his middle finger against your clit, feeling the heat of your pussy spread over his hands. “You did so well tonight.”

-King of appraisals. This guy throws around “good girl” “my kitten” and “that’s my girl” like he’s the pitcher at a major league baseball games. Everyone seems to believe that this guy wouldn’t show skinship but that’s only really in public. Behind closed doors he’s all head pets and couples baths, massages and my god he loves to kiss. His kisses are deep and passionate and so sensual.

-As a soft dom he’s habitually inclined to place his hands on the back of your neck and waist, holding you close as he guides you through his passionate and starved kisses. His plump and soft lips slipping against yours and your mixed saliva lubricates his gentle bites to your bottom lip.

I’m gonna pass out!!!!!!! AAAAAAAH stfu he’s too much!!!!!!

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, ep 12-16 thoughts! these episodes, in comparison to the first 10 or so, felt way more laid back and low-stakes, which I appreciate sometimes. I didn't appreciate how lazy jack's halfa design was in masters of time, it made me so annoyed I redesigned it. 👎🏻 u_u

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-'picking a fight with me and my upgraded form!' 'you upgraded to a mullet?' DANNNNY. YOU CANT SAY THAT TO TECHNUS. YOUVE HAD A MULLET TWICE NOW ('fun' split danny, and evil future danny BOTH HAD THEM). I HAVE THE RECEIPTS.

-danny seeing technus hurting valerie and yelling I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF. SAMEEEE <3

-axion labs is now a part of vladco. FUCK YOU VLAD. hes not even really IN this episode, but just thought I'd throw out a nice fuck you anyway.

-'capable of blasting a single person into space in (2) minutes!' tucker. that would kill someone. i mean yeah they might get to space, but theres NO WAY THEY WOULDNT CATCH FIRE, OR THEIR ORGANS WOULDNT LIQUIFY BECAUSE OF THE STRAIN. THEY'D PROBABLY PASS OUT BEFORE THEN, BUT. ...no, okay, I get why vlad bought this company. this is RIGHT up his alley.

-danny KNOWS VAL DIDNT DO THIS, THAT SOMEONE STOLE THE SUIT. AND SPENDING ALL NIGHT CHATTING WITH HER. <3 and val is a 9TH DEGREE BLACKBELT?? danny's mom is, too!! omg and she hunts ghosts, his parents would love her. and her fav fruit is kumquat bc its a funny word. im so with danny val is amazing. I love her and I Do Not Want To Hear It From Sam.

-I knew danny wanted to be an astronaut, but the bowling tidbit is like. yes give me more useless info abt these characters, I love tiny details that make them feel more human, and im glad hes got hobbies aside from ghost stuff, we dont really see a lot of that!!! (I mean, we knew 'fun' danny from when he split himself in half liked bowling, so obv it makes sense he LIKES it, but hes very GOOD at it. so proud of him, bowling king) val calling him neil armstrong and them teasing each other. LOVE THAT.

-technus you are my favorite grandpa for setting this up. SAM WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CREEPY BE HAPPY FOR YOUR FRIEND!!! STOP SPYING ON THEM!!! who actually cares if technus did 'set them up' together, theyre having fun and enjoy each others company!!! 'you think the universe wants you two to be together?' 'i dunno, but maybe /I/ do!' EXACTLY DANNY!!! SOO TRUE.

-and valerie being happy sam said she wants to try and be happy for them and make room at the lunch table for them. and hugging sam over it. VAL NEEDS MORE FRIENDS.

-VAL GOING AFTER TECHNUS IN HER SUIT WITH (1) MILK, AND (1) TREE BRANCH AND KEYS!!!. I LOVE YOUUUU BEST GIRL. her new suit kicks ass

-dannys like 'HEY IM AN ASTRONAUT :D' AW. ...HES IN SPACE... the fact he's actually intending to give her the ring. with SAMS NAME ON IT?? IM CRINGING DANNY NO. YOU CANT DO THAT...thank god he didnt. thank god valerie cut it off and said they can just stay friends for now. tbh, they both have a lot on their plates!! they obv both still like each other...it can be a future thing!! when she knows about phantom! youre 14 theres no need to rush. I just want her to have friends and be happy :(

-...danny struggles to do (1) pull up. SAME. but all the ghost fighting in phantom form REALLY doesnt carry over at ALL? that sucks

-sam being as fit as she is, is not just a goth. shes a goth jock.

-honey I Shrank Our Kid, One of his Enemies, and his Bully: the episode

-dash's crush on phantom is So Obvious. fitness buddies :) watching them interact always makes me laugh. also, phantom, with PANTS. 'how many costume changes you gonna go through, what is this, vegas??' DASSH DJKSFHASKDF

-MADDIE GOING AFTER THE MOUSE WITH A BROOM, WHAT THE FUCK. AAAH. JUST BUY SOME KIND OF MOUSE TRAP.

-danny likes lime and vinegar chips. which sound very good.

-'our boy finally has the physical prowess of a 60 year old president!' ...poor danny LMAO

-'what's wrong with beauty pageants' oh tucker you sweet naïve child. what ISNT wrong with them. who approved this for a high school?? (I mean, yes. unfortunately child pageants exist, but...) also danny and tucker once again treating the pretty girls like objects. I need to meet the grown man who wrote this, I just want to talk...

-prince aragon's dragon form reminds me of maleficent (color scheme wise) which is always a bonus. considering the episode is called beauty marked, I feel like the sleeping beauty references are deliberate

-sam with the fake fangs. once again her accessories never miss. hate the 'not like other girls, girls who get sucked into this kind of thing are all shallow and all want to be carbon copies' bs tho.

-sam trying to be the Worst Bride, being rude as shit. DORA IS GOING TO GET KILLED. DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE SHE SAID THE PRINCE WILL HAVE HER HEAD IF YOU ARENT THE IDEAL BRIDE. YOU /KNOW/ DANNY WILL COME SAVE YOU. JUST ACT CHILL UNTIL THEN. even if you were doing fine to get him to take off the crown, consider maybe not letting his poor sister get punished also?? sure, she could also take off the crown and has dragon powers, but did you know that for sure?? dora didnt even really realize it until you guys talked!! (or at least, she was scared to stand up to him. you had no guarantee she would...) but. good for dora. ANOTHER friendly ghost to add to the List :)

-tucker is so under appreciated in his time. if he was doing a tech-based campaign today he'd have a better shot. people in 2004 had NO IDEA how much tech would be a part of our day-to-day lives...altho. tbh if you're going to be running for student council president, maybe you should..focus on things to actually improve the school? since he's going for a tech angle, he could say like, he would be running fundraisers for the schools computers to be upgraded, etc? we've already SEEN he can be good at money-making entrepreneur type stuff!!

-oh my god wait. this episode is JUST YUGIOH?????! A REBORN PHAROH USING A TEENAGER AS A VESSEL?? YESSSSSS

-tucker using his new minion to feed him grapes and carry him. AND LOCUSTS ONTO THE BULLIES. I love how when he's possessed, he gains winged eyeliner.

-this episode is giving me big 'plankton makes everyone in bikini bottom his slaves and build monuments of him from the spongebob movie' vibes. and the pharaoh has a traitor who works for him? VERY big yugioh vibes. aknadin confirmed

-I like that danny is still completely exhausted after using ghostly wail. (still patiently waiting on him to get duplication)

-LOVE the fenton's 80s outfits. I get hes 14 and embarrassed by everything they do because theyre his parents, but. cmon, this is one objectively cool thing theyve done. love 80s fashion.

-...was vlad just standing on that streetlight waiting for danny to come out? how'd he know they'd be coming out the back? how long has he been up there???

-oh, wait, his ecto-acne has flareups? that SUCKS. danny was...well I dont want to say he was LUCKY HE HALF-DIED, but he was lucky his was pretty instant (I'm assuming that had to do with the power/scale of the portals being different?) I remember in the ep we met him, vlad made a point of saying he was stuck in a hospital for a long time, so. that really actually sucks and I feel bad. not that it excuses anything he's done...but like. it does suck.

-vlad being so sure danny wouldnt help him he made it somehow contagious to his friends to make sure he'd get help? danny is a nice boy, he wouldve helped if it was anyone else. the only reason he wouldn't have is because of the shit vlad did to him, on purpose. vlad 100% dug his own grave by being the biggest asshole, so it is very hard to feel bad for him.

-clockwork is back!!! and making danny learn lessons The Hard Way. Uhhh, okay. I kind of get Danny’s logic, that time traveling this far back would prevent vlad from becoming a halfa also, ergo no arch nemesis or ectoacne to worry about. But the fact that was basically the first solution Danny came up with to solve this problem is actually so funny. It’s so extreme

-APPRICIATION FOR THESE 80S LESBIAN BG CHARACTERS.

-vlad telling maddie in the lab (in the 80s) he has something he's wanted to tell her 'for a long time'...how long have they known each other? I assumed they met in college, since jack always calls vlad his college buddy/roommate, so jack and vlad for sure met in college, but did vlad know maddie longer? thats surprising if so. Tho we don’t know what year of college they’re in so they could mean they met as freshmen and a few years have past…speaking of maddie shes crushing the 80s look.

-vlad blames jack, but. maybe dont stick your face 2 inches from the portal??! THIS FEELS LIKE LAB SAFETY BASICS. IF SOMETHING HAS POTENTIAL TO BE DANGEROUS, DONT GET NEAR IT. WITH YOUR FACE UNPROTECTED IN ANY WAY. (altho jack didnt really give a Big Warning besides screaming BONZAI. so. also that, but cmon.) also, they need gloves, goggles, and to pull all of their hair back tbh. but fuck lab safety, I guess!

-cryyyyinnng at how lazy they were with jack's ghost form design, its just plasmius' design on jack!!! you couldve given him his own design!!

-there. I did that in about 10 minutes and its somehow less lazy than what made it into the show. embarrassing! better yet, I think the episode would've been better if maddie would've gotten the ectoacne. or maybe its just me, wanting to see her design! anyway. I'm sure people have already done redesigns of them both as halfas. I have to go look after I finish this watch through. Also mildly frustrated jacks resentment and bitterness is basically also a copy paste of vlads backstory. They’re different characters, I really don’t think jack would stew in bitterness and jealousy the same way vlad would!! I also don’t think he’d give up after one time of trying to hunt ghosts and getting laughed at. Our canon timeline says different…I dunno, I get it was for laughs, but I’m annoyed because the POTENTIAL this plot has…

-did vlad really wear a stupid cheese hat to his wedding. ok actually that kinda rules. and the cheese door knocker. the dairy-only buffet table. vlad still got rich, just on being the New Dairy King. (Assuming that means he owns a lot of dairy businesses?) ok! this actually is great. hope maddie isn't lactose intolerant!

-'no matter how hard I tried, I could never get rid of my ghost half, the half I knew Maddie could never accept' ohh, ouch, what a horrible thing to say to her HALF GHOST SON. 'YOUR MOM WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU' BASICALLY.

-maddie strapping danny to the table with a lazer pointed at him in a secret lab she keeps from vlad that she makes a point of saying is sound proof so he can scream all he wants...CHRIST. DANNYS POOR PYSCHE.

-also, not to feel bad for alternate vlad (because, he did lie to maddie saying jack blames her and never wants to see her again...) but. being married to a woman 20+ years and she immediately goes back to jack? if she didnt love vlad and feels like she had to hide shit from him, and says she wasted her best years with him, WHY MARRY HIM. it feels like leading him on!!! cannot believe im feeling bad for vlad, but. this alternate timeline vlad is significantly Less Horrible than Our Vlad. did she not think she'd get funding for her ghost stuff? (which, fair assumption since they're considered 'ghost fanatics/nuts in canon...but...) why did she think jack or vlad would be her ONLY OPTIONS? be like your sister. be single. Actually, this au could’ve been really interesting if after the accident, vlad lied to her and said jack never wanted to see her again, but she stays single. Imagine how much that would bug vlad… like, in her mind, it was never a competition it was jack or no one type situation…

-danny being like 'leave him ALONE' this jack is a HOMEWRECKER, DANNY. let them go to court and settle this at the least. ...or just throw vlad into the portal. (100% human, defenseless vlad) CHRIST, MADDIE THATS BRUTAL. THATS MURDER.

-danny seeing his mom immediately accepting him and his dad being half ghosts in this universe, if I was him this would be a great sign that his universe's maddie would also.

-*maddie voice* "clockwork will help!" *2 seconds later, with clockwork* "I will Not Help." TOUGH LOVE KING. YES LET DANNY SEE THE SODA HIMSELF AND DEVOLP BETTER OBSERVATION SKILLS.

-when clockwork ""reset time to the way it was"" just before danny "meddled"" ...did he really erase a whole alternate timeline? ...damn. because maddie and danny both called it an alternate timeline by name, it splitting when the college incident went different, so it wouldnt have really mattered if he reset it, right. like because danny's timeline is on a different stream? why didnt clockwork just. show danny a replay and not Reset That Timeline. wh...I wonder how many people that Erased From Existence. Anyway! once again stating clockwork is casually terrifying!

[dvp95]

can’t breathe when you touch my sleeve - chapter 10

pairing: dan howell/phil lester

rating: e

warnings: none

tags: alternate universe, slow burn, fluff & humour, tiny bit of inner turmoil wrt sexuality but trust me it’s not that deep, deeper than anticipated but still not that deep y'all this is primarily silly, eventual smut, idiots in love

word count: 4,286 for this chapter (45,795 total)

summary: Dan keeps making a fool of himself in interviews, to the point where it’s basically a meme. Now he’s got to sit down for the better part of an hour and sell his show to the YouTuber he’d had a massive crush on when he was a teenager.

read from the beginning on ao3 or on tumblr!

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

"Daniel?"

Dan blinks. He blinks again, zoning back into the conversation he's supposed to be a part of.

"Er," he says, sheepish. "What was the question?"

"Are you sure you're feeling okay, Daniel?" the woman asks - the interviewer asks, fuck, this is like the sixth time he's asked her to repeat herself. "I heard you were ill yesterday, weren't you?"

He wasn't. But that is what Jaime and Patrick had sworn up and down to anyone who asked, because they're good partners in crime like that. They look like they regret it now.

"Yeah, Daniel," Jaime says, stressing his name in a way that makes Dan think she's one more fuckup from smacking him in the back of the head. He'd probably deserve it, at this point. He can't remember being this scatterbrained in his whole life, and that's saying something. "You sure you're okay being out of bed?"

The word 'bed' gets stressed too, just a bit, and Dan feels a flush creeping up his neck.

It's honestly unreasonable how he can't seem to focus on the task at hand, which is answering softball questions about the show he's worked on for three years, because his mind keeps drifting back to Phil.

Phil, who he'd left in bed with Thor, all sleepy noises and grumpiness at Dan needing to leave. Phil, who has the day off and might still be mostly naked and lazy while he waits for Dan to come back. Phil, who he only has three days left with.

Three more days in London. Two sleeps. And Dan has shit to do every single goddamn day of it.

This is a work trip, technically. They've got a handful of interviews the next two days that couldn't be scheduled for their first London stretch, and then they're going to France. That's exciting, it is, a mark of success that Dan never expected for himself, but right now he's frustrated by anything that cuts into the time he could be using to kiss Phil.

Dan is so busy remembering how Phil's mouth had felt against his that he forgets to answer the question. He can practically feel his eyes glaze over.

"Daniel," Patrick says, audibly exasperated.

It takes a lot to get Patrick to that point, so Dan ducks his head and mumbles another apology.

"He's fine," Jaime tells the very nice and concerned interviewer whose name Dan has long forgotten. "He's just got a lot on his mind right now and he's really shit at multitasking."

"Hey," says Dan. It's a weak protest.

The interviewer is a tall woman with kind eyes that crinkle into laughter lines when she smiles at him. She's dressed casually, has a denim jacket with patches and pins all over it, and Dan feels his eyes linger at the rainbow on her pocket.

What is that like? To be so certain and so confident that you can wear it on your sleeve even in a professional environment? Dan doesn't know that he'll be able to get there.

He wants to compliment her on it. It's the same urge he had in the restaurant with Phil's family, vocalizing that he wishes he could wear more nail polish. The same swirling anxiety of being judged for it follows quickly, but this time it's amplified by the recording device in the interviewer's hand, the knowledge that anything he says right now will be analyzed to death later.

Dan wants to live authentically, and he wants to get to a place where he doesn't need to hide, but he's frustrated by the reality of how much progress that's going to take. It's not going to be easy, it already hasn't been, and it's never going to stop.

Even with making a name for himself and having an audience, Dan knows that coming out publicly still won't stop strangers from making assumptions about him or demanding an explanation for the women he's been seen with. He'll have to come out over and over and - it's scary. It's really scary.

The compliment catches in his throat. He can't say it to someone recording him, no matter how kind her eyes are. He hasn't even told his grandma yet.

"I like your jacket," he says instead. He feels like a coward for it.

"Thanks," the woman says brightly, looking down at herself and tapping one of her bigger patches. "Customized it myself, obviously. It's a wee bit more colourful than you like to be seen in, right?"

The casual chirping helps Dan relax, reminds him that this is a laid-back interview with easy questions. Nobody is shining a heat lamp on him and asking for an expose on how he spent part of last night inside of another man.

He grins and shrugs. "Yeah, alright, I wear a lot of black. Sue me. I can still think colours look nice on some people."

Great. Now he's thinking about Phil again.

"Like Jaime," Patrick offers, tugging at one of Jaime's bubblegum braids. Dan still can't tell if it's a wig or not, but she smacks Patrick's hand away like it's her own hair.

"That's true," says Dan. "Jaime wears as much black as I do, though, I dunno that she's the best example."

Patrick nods, solemn. "At least her hair is interesting."

"Oi, fuck you. Sorry," Dan adds sheepishly. Even though this is an online print interview, he still feels a little bit of shame whenever he slips up and curses during an interview.

The woman - Cara? Catherine? Camilla? Ca-something? - just laughs and waves his apology off.

With an ease that Dan can't help but notice isn't quite as practised as Phil's, the interviewer moves on to questions about their other cast members. While they don't have any trouble making fun of each other, it's even more fun to exaggerate stories of people who aren't here to defend themselves.

Dan tries so hard to participate. He does. He laughs in all the right places and gives Jaime grief for not remembering something right, because he's given this poor interviewer nothing of substance. The thing is that Jaime is better at telling stories and Patrick is so dry and stoic with interrupting jokes that Dan knows he isn't needed for this. He lets them bicker over a story detail that he's long forgotten and feels himself start to zone back out.

He listens to Patrick's slow timbre, Jaime's trill of a laugh, and lets his mind drift back to where it wants to be.

--

Even though it's tempting, Dan isn't stupid enough to text Phil in the middle of doing his fucking job. He has to resort to checking his phone between interviews and pictures, getting more and more pouty about the lack of response to the things he's sending throughout the morning. Phil must be having a lie-in, because it takes him a couple of hours to even see Dan's texts.

ugh i should have just stayed in bed

pls send thor pics

and you pics but like give me a heads up if your dick is out im at work

i dropped my coffee on jaimes lap fml shes gonna kill me

im just so distracted lmaooo

canft believe youre just asleep thats so rude

Oh nooooooo. I always cry over spilt coffee :( you want me to bring you one? I can come hang out for lunch!

The sweet text is accompanied by a photo of Thor asleep on the sofa, his little head pillowed on Phil's knee. Phil is wearing Dan's pyjama pants and - it's hard to tell for sure, with the way the photo is angled, but Dan thinks he's got the Friends shirt on. Frankly, that should be gross. Dan wore that shirt for way too long for it not to smell like, well, his sweat, and that is objectively not sexy.

Dan feels gooey warmth spread from his stomach outwards, anyway. Maybe it is gross, but it makes him happy to think about Phil's shirt smelling like him the way that his own Yeezy shirt still faintly smells like Phil. He covers his mouth with a hand so nobody milling around will see him grinning like an idiot.

thats ok, Dan texts back one-handed. yall look comfy you should stay. i'll b back for dinner and snuggles ok?

Ok! ^_^

God, but Dan wants to be there now. He wants to be the one cuddled up with his head in Phil's lap. He recognises that it's very stupid to be jealous of a dog, but he isn't going to let that stop him.

"Hey, Howell." Patrick's voice interrupts the daydream of slender fingers carding through Dan's hair.

Dan blinks. He blinks again, looks up.

"I didn't even see you sit down," Dan tells him, bemused. They're sharing a bench in the building's lobby, not wanting to go too far in case they need to go back upstairs for more photos during the short break in their day.

"Yeah, you're on another planet," says Patrick. Dan wishes he could argue that fact. "Things went well with your whole Love Actually emergency, then?"

The reference pulls Dan up short. He feels his brow furrow as he walks through the entire film in his head. "What are you talking about? None of this happened in Love Actually."

"It's British, isn't it," Patrick says nonsensically.

"I don't," Dan starts, but then he gives up. He and Patrick are close as coworkers - friends, even - but Dan never quite understands the links that Patrick's brain makes. "It went well. It went really well. I don't know if Jaime told you everything I texted her, but I like... fully ended up meeting the family."

Patrick's eyebrows raise slightly. That's quite a reaction, from him. "You met the parents? Bro. You just started dating."

They're not in an overly crowded area, but people keep waking by them on their way in or out of the building, so Dan is pleasantly surprised to discover that Patrick can play the pronoun game, too.

"Yeah," says Dan. He doesn't want to get into the mix-up right now. He's sure that Patrick will have another incomprehensible reference when he hears about it. "But it just feels... I dunno. Right? In a way other people haven't? Maybe that's obvious."

"It's not obvious," says Patrick. He's snapping a hair elastic around his wrist idly, the gesture something Dan had thought was an expression of annoyance or frustration when they first met. Dan knows now that it means Patrick is tired, that he wants to shove his hair off his shoulders and stop it from tickling his neck. They're only halfway through their day, though, still a couple of photoshoots to get through, so he can't put his hair up just yet.

Dan knows so much about these people. He's learned it all from such close proximity for the past three years, but he also genuinely likes spending time with them. He feels, suddenly, very guilty for wishing cancellation on this thing they've all worked so hard for.

"Sorry," Dan says.

"For what?"

He doesn't really know how to voice it. He shrugs. "For being a shit coworker right now."

Patrick gives him an indecipherable look and shakes his head. "Daniel," he says, "you're not being a shit coworker."

"I kind of am, though," says Dan. "Like I can't focus at all, I'm missing interviews, and I... I don't know how much I want to go back to Atlanta. Is that bad?"

"Why would that be bad?" Patrick hums. "This is your home."

Home isn't an easy concept for Dan to wrap his head around. He hadn't had a happy one for most of his life, hadn't been able to find somewhere that felt quite right ever since he escaped that. So it's a little disconcerting when Patrick's words settle into his chest and feel like indisputable truth.

"London is home," Dan echoes, wondering it it feels just as right coming out of his own mouth. It does. His head is spinning, a bit.

"Yeah," Patrick says, like it's that easy.

Dan gives himself a little shake back into the present. He smiles, wry. "Still, I probably shouldn't be crossing my fingers under tables for the producers to shut us down."

For a moment, Patrick looks confused. Dan is all ready to apologise again, shove those feelings down, but Patrick just says, "So negotiate your contract. You know that you aren't required by law to see the show through to the end, right? You can just not come back for season four, or only come back for a couple episodes instead of a full season."

They're sat in a fairly public area, with other people walking about, but Dan could hear a pin drop in the shattering silence that rings in his ears at Patrick's use of logic.

"I," says Dan, "did not think of that."

Patrick nods. "You kind of tunnel-vision sometimes, has anyone ever told you that?"

--

By the time Dan returns to Phil's building, he's talked himself into and back out of quitting his job a dozen times. It's a dumb decision, but not much dumber than simply waiting for someone else to make the decision for him.

He decides to call Amy when he's in France and talk the options through with her. She's already looking for potential gigs in the UK for him, so hopefully the conversation isn't going to come as much of a surprise to her. The last thing he needs is for his agent to get upset with him over making changes in his life.

Dan's head is buzzing with it, loud enough to give him a headache. He texts Phil that he's outside and waits to be let in. He gets an intrusive domestic fantasy of letting himself in with his own key, and reminds himself to rein in this U-Haul bullshit.

"Hey!" Phil beams as he opens the door and steps back for Dan to come in. Other people live on the other floors, but Phil still leans in for a long kiss the moment the door closes behind Dan.

It sends sparks up Dan's spine and quiets some of the unending noise in his head. He sighs, leans into the kiss, wraps his arms around Phil's waist to pull him even closer.

He's cognizant of where they are, though, so he pulls back to rest their foreheads together after a moment. "Hey yourself."

"Did you have a good day?" Phil asks, his tri-coloured eyes bright and unguarded.

"Yeah, but it's better now," says Dan. He's parroting what Phil said to him yesterday, and he can tell that Phil recognises it from the little smile on his face. "You look nice. You showered just for me?"

Phil laughs and tugs at Dan's wrist, pulling him down the stairs. They've got four left feet between them, honestly, so it's a miracle nobody takes a nosedive.

"Yeah," he says as they narrowly avoid any number of broken bones. He presses Dan against the wall next to his front door and grins at him. "But it was also for the judgey moms at the dog park. You look nicer, you didn't take the makeup off?"

To be honest, Dan had forgotten it was even on his face. He settles his hands on Phil's hips and smiles. "They made me look like the best version of me, why would I erase all their hard work?"

"Mm, you do look pretty," Phil says, and Dan is lucky to have his back against a wall. His knees might have actually buckled at the praise if he was unsupported.

"Pretty, huh?" Dan asks. He tries to keep his tone dry, like it's a big joke, but Phil's big eyes just see too much.

"Very pretty," says Phil. Dan doesn't know how to handle being complimented by Phil's deep, sincere voice, but he isn't given much of a chance to react before Phil is speaking again. "But I don't know that I'd call this the best version of you. You looked really nice when you came, y'know."

"Fuck, Phil," Dan laughs, a little breathless. "I was literally gone for ten hours."

"Ten hours too many," Phil grumbles.

Dan laughs again, but he has to admit that Phil has a point. The day had absolutely dragged on with the knowledge that his probably-boyfriend was waiting for him.

"You wanna go inside, then?" Dan suggests, running his thumbs just under the hem of Phil's clean shirt. "I'll do a lot of things, but this floor is cement, mate. I'm not blowing you out here."

The giggle that's surprised out of Phil makes Dan smile so wide it hurts his cheeks. He smacks the center of Dan's chest lightly and steps back to let them both into his flat. "I was thinking we could, like, order dinner first or whatever, but I'm not going to complain if you want to switch up the itinerary."

"The itinerary," Dan mocks, looking around for a ball of fluff running directly at them as he struggles with his shoes. "Uh, where's Thor?"

"Uh," says Phil. There's colour high in his cheeks that he tries to hide by flopping onto the sofa. The sweats he stole off of Dan don't really leave much to the imagination at all, not when he's sitting like that, and Dan almost loses his balance when he stands up straight. The pink doesn't leave Phil's face, but a knowing smirk joins it. "He's in the bathroom."

Dan's heart skips like an old CD player and he laughs to mask just how fond he is. "Uh huh, and here you are acting like you were really ordering food first."

"Well," Phil says, his smirk growing, "we could still order first, it'd be at least twenty."

"Sounds like a challenge," Dan hums, coming around the sofa to sit on the other end and lean forward, kissing the sliver of skin where Phil's shirt is riding up. "Why don't you do that, and I'll go get a bloody condom."

Phil blushes, proper blushes, and pulls a packet out of his pocket. "Ta-da," he jokes, weakly. "For my next trick -"

"If you say you're going to make your penis disappear," Dan says, flat, "then I'm walking out."

They just look at each other for a long moment, like a staring contest neither of them initiated, and then Phil snorts. That sets them both off and soon enough they're laughing, Dan's nose tucked against Phil's hipbone and Phil's hand over his mouth.

"I wasn't going to say that," Phil insists, still giggling. "I wasn't."

"Sure you weren't." Dan grins up at him and slides up his body, a little less graceful than he'd imagined it in his head. He presses their smiles together and licks into Phil's mouth. A little noise passes between them when Phil's hands find their way into Dan's hair, but Dan isn't sure which of them it comes from.

The giddy feeling of laughter doesn't leave Dan's chest. He lets it make a home there as he trails kisses all over Phil's long, pale neck. He doesn't need to guess when Phil likes something - he squirms and makes these little huffs of noises, grip on Dan's curls tightening just a bit before it loosens again. It feels impossibly powerful to learn how to take Phil apart like this, like they're teenagers snogging on the sofa in their first relationship.

It's strange that this does feel like a first relationship for Dan, in a lot of ways. He loved his first girlfriend and cared about other women he's dated, but it's not the same at all.

Finally, Dan is allowed to feel all the things he's supposed to have felt when he was younger. He's allowed to let budding affection and lust and friendship all wrap up in one person.

"So, the piercings," Dan murmurs, letting his hand slide up Phil's shirt to toy with one of them.

"What about them?" Phil asks. He already sounds impatient and needy, like he had last night, and the sound of it goes straight to Dan's dick.

Dan laughs and sits up, helping Phil get his shirt off over his head. "I mean, do they do things for you? Do they feel good when I touch them? How do you want me to touch them to make them feel good?"

"Do you always ask this many questions during sex?" Phil asks, dry.

There's no point in lying. "Yeah, I tend to babble." Dan gives him a winning smile and taps at Phil's hips, a silent request for him to lift up. Phil does happily, arching up for Dan and letting his stolen sweats get tugged off. "Guess you'll have to shut me up somehow."

Phil laughs, muffling the sound of it with his palm, and shakes his head. He looks so fucking gorgeous like this, giggly and naked and starting to get hard against his thigh. Dan has no idea how he got this lucky.

"That's such a terrible line," Phil informs him, grinning wide. He doesn't seem bothered by Dan being dressed when he isn't. He just settles back against the cushions and wiggles a bit, either trying to get comfortable or just teasing Dan. Either is possible at this point.

"It's not a line," Dan protests, shrugging his jacket off and settling back between Phil's legs. He presses his mouth to Phil's soft tummy and, unable to help himself, blows a raspberry.

Phil kicks out at him, instinctive, and his tongue is trapped between his teeth as he tries to hold back giggles.

"My nipples aren't sensitive," Phil tells him, voice wavering with some combination of amusement and arousal. He drops a hand to wrap around his own cock, thumbing at the metal on the tip of it. "This is. It, like, tugs. It's nice."

Biting back a groan at the sight, Dan digs around for the condom. He impatiently knocks Phil's hand out of the way to get him hard enough that he can roll it on. The piercing just above his balls settles nicely at the bottom of the latex, almost like it's holding it in place. Dan rolls it between his fingers, watches Phil's eyes flutter closed. "And this one?"

"Not as much. Still good, though." Phil's tongue darts out to lick his lips, and Dan grins at the unconscious reminder of what he's meant to be doing.

It's not the most comfortable for them to be laid out on the sofa like this, lanky as they are, but Dan isn't nineteen anymore. His knees do not hold up the way they used to. He wraps his hand around the base of Phil's cock and lets the tips of his fingers idly play with the metal bar as he finally gets his mouth on Phil.

Dan isn't used to the taste of latex accompanying a blowjob, but it isn't unpleasant. He gives Phil a couple of long licks and then sucks lightly at the head, not sure how much pressure Phil likes yet.

That's something he thinks he'd love to learn. He wants to know everything about Phil's body, wants to make him tremble with it.

Dan is extremely offended when he glances up and sees that Phil is tapping something on his phone, but the offense settles when Phil huffs a laugh and says, "Put in for takeaway. All yours, now."

The phone gets put down and Dan tongues at the bump of Phil's Prince Albert ring through the condom. That makes Phil's breath hitch, his hips jerk just a bit.

It's been years since Dan has had a cock in his mouth, but he likes to think it's like riding a bike. He takes Phil deep, hollows out his cheeks, repeats any motion that makes Phil let out soft groans. He forgot how much he likes this, fuck.

Much like everything else, it's somehow impossibly better with Phil.

Phil keeps a hand in Dan's hair and braces the other on the back of the sofa, breathing hard, and Dan doesn't want to close his eyes and miss a fucking moment of this.

"Fuck," Phil breathes, and Dan responds with an answering moan around his dick. "Yeah, alright, that's - fuck, Dan, you feel so good, look so pretty like that."

The praise still makes Dan shudder. He sucks Phil harder, feeling the weight of Phil's cock on his tongue as he speeds up his movements.

Dan remembers blowjobs to be pretty fast. He also never gave one to a man older than twenty, though, and his jaw starts to ache once he realises that Phil isn't going to be pushed over the edge as quickly as he's used to.

He pulls off to give his jaw a break, stroking Phil and pressing his open mouth along the side of him.

"You think I feel nice?" Dan laughs, pleased by the way the gust of air makes Phil's cock twitch. "Fucking, forgot how good this feels."

"Yeah?" Phil prompts, his voice deep and breathy and so, so nice to listen to. No wonder he's so successful on the radio. "You like sucking cock?"

Dan shivers. "Yeah," he says. He's unashamed, because he feels safe here with Phil. He can admit to liking a cock in his mouth, a hand in his hair, being called pretty. "Yours specifically, though."

Phil laughs. "That's good. I like specifically your cock, too." He looks over at his kitchen for a moment and raises his eyebrows. "I'll get dressed and answer the door when the pizza gets here if you can make me come in the next five minutes."

Well. Never let it be said that Dan Howell backs down from a challenge.

[promptistrashqueen]

A Royal Commission (7)

@fleetstreetfatality

Prompto can’t believe his luck when Noctis shows up for his next session an hour early. Not because he’s happy about it, though he really wants to be.

It’s been a shit day and Prompto was looking forward to seeing the Prince but he didn’t want Noctis to see this part of his life, not now...probably not ever honestly. He can’t do anything about the woman though so he just has to let the train wreck happen anyways.

He’s standing with his arms crossed, Charlie and Loqi hovering behind him, visible but quiet as his backup as the dark haired lady loses it.

“...on my baby girl! Desecration of the body won’t allow her to ascend when she passes and you’re the one who’s damned her! I will be seeing you in court for the intent to harm and spread of malicious and harmful material!”

Noctis, standing in the doorway goes from bewilderment to glaring anger when he figures out what the fuck is going on. Despite Prompto’s quick head shake he pushes past the woman and stands beside Prompto, brows furrowed and mouth twisting into an expression of distaste.

“The court won’t hear you, your daughter is an adult if she came in without you and maybe if you disagree with her decision to have art on her body, you should talk to her.”

He sees the way the woman recoils when she realizes who he is, but the shock is short lived.

“I see what this is. You’re going to protect him, even though he’s perpetuating evil in this city! I’ve always said you and that father of yours weren’t worthy of the crystal, that it should be someone pure who’s willing to rid the streets of filth like him.”

Prompto catches Noctis’ shoulder when he steps forward and it only fuels the woman as her nostrils flare.

“Disgusting, he’s befouled you hasn’t he? Not with his poisonous “art” either...You’re a sin-”

She doesn’t get any further, wherever her tirade is heading. Prompto’s had more than enough and so have the other two.

“Get out of my shop. Get out and don’t you dare come back. I have every right to call the police and I will not hesitate to do so if you don’t leave. Prince Noctis has nothing to do with this and if you wish to take us to court, that’s you. Now get. The. fuck. Out.”

Prompto’s not entirely certain what his expression looks like but it feels taut and rigid, his teeth clenched around his words and his eyes narrow. He hopes they’re still blue, but no one should ever, ever be allowed to insult Noctis.

The woman looks at the four of them, harrumphs, and turns on her heel.

“Fuck...I fuck…” Prompto’s hands are shaky with anger still as he runs them through his hair.

“Today’s been shit here, any better up there in the big time Noct?” Charlie breaks the tension with his calm voice and Noctis shrugs.

“Not really? We keep getting unannounced visits from Accordo and Niflheim and it’s making security crazy. That’s why I’m early, had to get out while I could.”

Prompto chuckles a little at that and sighs again, ignoring the way Loqi’s looking at him. He touches Noctis’ arm lightly and tips his head toward the back door, the Prince flashes him a smile and follows him back to his work room.

Noctis doesn’t waste time once they’re out of sight, he reaches and pulls Prompto against him. Prompto thinks about trying to resist for less than a second before he lets himself melt against Noctis’ warm body, hugging him back tightly. His fingers curl in the back of Noctis’ shirt and he huffs a breath that’s nearly a laugh.

“Long day?” Noctis asks conversationally, like he’s not saying it practically into Prompto’s hair. He rolls his eyes, not bothering to respond to that as he let’s the tension drain out of him.

“We can reschedule if you want the rest of the day off.”

Prompto does pull away at that, shaking his head and laughing a little, “Nah, working always helps me feel a little more put together, you know? Besides I might get beheaded if I make someone reschedule. I’ve got very important clients you know.”

He adds a little sniff, tilting his chin up and expecting Noctis to roll his eyes, but the Prince tilts his own head a little, his eyes a bit dark. He steps close, crowding Prompto toward the wall and making him swallow even though he feels a thrill as his heart jumps.

“More important than me?”

Noctis’ voice is pitched low and the joke is gone, leaving a playful sort of heat rolling off him. Prompto wants to be smooth and reply with some quip but his brain shorts out on him and all he manages is, “Maybe.”

He’s flushed though and his blue eyes are blown wide, he licks his bottom lip as Noctis steps closer, unaware how the swipe of his tongue makes the skin glisten. Noctis’ gaze focuses on the shine and he brings their mouths together, pressing Prompto against the wall.

Prompto spares a thought to the curtain but it’s mostly closed and Noctis’ mouth is warm and he lets his focus drop entirely to the Prince. His eyes slide shut and he cups Noctis’ face in one hand, sighing softly and allowing their tongues to meet. Noctis keeps the kiss soft and Prompto doesn’t rush it, letting the tide of warmth roll and break as the taste of the other man invades his senses.

If everytime they kiss is going to be like this Prompto’s pretty sure he’s going to need to hire someone to slap him or else he might start writing bad romance novels, because fuck, it’s good. Noctis tilts his head and licks further into his mouth and the thought sloughs off, leaving him groaning and pressing back against Noctis.

A harshly cleared throat forces them to part, though Noctis doesn’t bother to move back and Prompto can’t say he minds, though he is a little embarrassed. Loqi looks unimpressed as he fingers the curtain, unspoken remind to close the damn thing clear.

“If you’re not going to work on him, you might as well help close up so we can all get out of here sooner. Or I guess you could keep being lazy, since you’re the greatest and all.”

Prompto glares, because Loqi knows he’s being unfair with that last bit, “We’ll get to work then, leave the floors, it’s my turn to do them anyways.”

Loqi nods but doesn’t leave immediately, staring Prompto down for a long moment with a pinched sort of frown that leaves him grimacing.

Noctis watches him go and turns back to Prompto, raising an eyebrow as he takes a full step back, “Who spit in his stew?”

That startles a short laugh out of Prompto and he shakes his head, waving a hand, “ Who knows today? He’s right though, we’ve got work to do! Strip!”

Noctis rolls his eyes but shrugs out of his shirt, comfortable about it now, and takes his usual seat.

“Did you two ever-?”

It takes Prompto a moment but when he gets it he groans and slaps Noctis’ arm, “Technically? For a couple of months, but we didn’t work from the start and I think we only tried it because we have a uh...a shared past, sort of. I dunno? It was weird and the guy is an ass most the time. Now, no more questions I am arting!”

“Is that why it smells weird in here?”

“Noct?”

“Yeah?”

“Make that joke again I will ink a bag of dicks on you.”

When they’re finished it’s late, nearing one in the morning and Prompto’s dead on his feet. It’s good he doesn’t have anything until noon the next day because he can feel the burn behind his eyes as he finishes mopping the floor, Noctis slouching over the waiting couch with his shirt rucked up to let air on his back.

Prompto groans as he pops his back, wheeling the dirty water bucket away and resolving to dump it tomorrow since the floor is still too wet to cross and he doesn’t want to track more than absolutely necessary.

“Doing alright Noct?”

He gets a grunt in response, but he’ll take it. They did a lot of work around Noctis’ spine and upper half of his scar today, finishing some of the geometrics and starting on the detailed spirals that extended up his shoulders. Prompto tries not to feel worried that there’s only one real session left and maybe a touch up.

He double checks he has everything and hums a little as he straightens the flyers by the couch.

“Okay! We can leave now! Thanks for stayin’ Noct.”

“No prob.”

Noctis yawns widely and Prompto shakes his head, he wonders if anyone would believe him if he told them what a sleepyhead the Prince was...probably just his guards.

They head onto the street as Prompto locks the big glass door and presses a small kiss to Noctis’ lips.

“See you soon?”

“I’m taking you home, no arguing.”

Prompto glares at him even as he bounces a little because he really, really liked the car. Noctis seems to pick up on the mild excitement because he smirks, actually fucking smirks.

“C’mon dude.”

Prompto opts not to say a word as Noctis leads him to a car, not the Aston Martin (totally not to his dissappointment, nope) but to a nice, normal mid-sized sedan. He sighs a little and gets in, noting the way Noctis winces as he settles into the seat.

“I probably shouldn’t technically be letting you drive but...the streets are pretty dead so?”

Noctis shrugs and flashes him a grin, “Here they are, not near my place. Guess I’ll have to crash on your couch.”

Prompto tries not to let his mouth hang open, he really does, but he could catch a few flies anyways. He wasn’t going to let Noctis in for Astral’s sake!

“I mean, for my safety.”

Shit. Can’t argue with that he supposes.

“Fiiiine. Not the couch though, you can have the bed! I’ll take the couch, or something.”

Noctis laughs and shakes his head, pulling out, “We can fight about it when we get there. Im too tired to use my words. Directions?”

Prompto’s house is not in a bad part of town, it’s not in a particularly good part either. They park in his little used driveway and he’s especially glad it was a short drive when he notes Noctis’ steps a little less even than usual. Not that he hasn’t noticed the way the Prince favors one side a bit anyways, like he hasn’t realized that the scar is only part of the damage.

He shakes the thought and hurries to let Noctis into the tiny house. It’s enough space for him but he’s sure it’s probably the size of Noctis’ whole bedroom. There’s a small living room, tiny kitchen, single bedroom and a bathroom with a fair sized claw footed tub. It’s what put this place ahead of some of the others, well, that, and the pretty little backyard.

Noctis though doesn’t seem to mind the size, he smiles at the inside, happy colors and posters, Prompto’s drawings scattered around and more photographs pinned to every open surface.

“It’s pretty clean for someone not expecting guests.” Noctis wiggles his eyebrows and Prompto snorts.

“I hate to see what you think messy is dude, I really do.”

Noctis shrugs and whatever he was going to say is cut off by a large yawn and a grumbling noise as he rubs at his cheek.

“Right, uh...bedroom.”

Prompto shows Noctis his room, glad that the bed is made at least. Noctis smiles again at the stuffed chocobo sitting on the bed and Prompto thinks, when they’re more awake, he’ll tell Noctis about some of the shit that means something to him.

As it is, Noctis tugs off his shirt and is reaching for his pants when Prompto coughs, “Uh, let me grab a pillow and blanket and I’ll leave!”

Noctis blinks at him and then nods, still undoing his belt and Prompto hurries to grab what he needs as well as his sleep pants. He sets an extra set on the bed and moves to go back to the couch when Noctis, in only his boxers, catches him.

“Goodnight Prom.” He mutters, pressing a sleepy, sloppy kiss to Prompto’s lips and smiling tiredly.

“Night Noctis.” Prompto answers, watching him stumble to the bed and, in a perfected move, grab the blanket, flop down and burrito himself as a fluid motion.

Prompto’s impressed, but mostly because Noctis is practically snoring when he hits the lights and heads for his fortunately comfy couch.

[maelien]

stupid dumb Blizzard/Overwatch discourse below the cut

okay so i never thought i would ever post about discourse, but here i am. but since literally nobody wants a giant thing on their dash, im gonna put this below the cut. i apologise to anyone on mobile who has to scroll past this. anyways this post is about this:

by @yubird​

btw im in agreement with the statement of this image, so if you dont care, feel free to scroll by. i dont expect anyone to read this tbh.

first of all, i want to preface this with the fact that while i do not play Overwatch, nor do i follow any of the lore or news, i still want to present some criticism because by being a public company, Blizzard is showing their creations to the world, which are therefore open for all kinds of feedback, positive or negative or even constructive. this isnt me bashing on Blizzard; i think theyre doing great things with the amounts of diversity in Overwatch, and from what i know, they pay a lot of attention to detail when it comes to game design and extra assets and whatnot. i just want to critique the same face syndrome that a lot of people have been pointing out lately.

so earlier today i got in a debate with some friends of mine about the idea that all Overwatch women have the same face. im gonna compile some of my friends’ arguments and my own arguments here, as well as some counter-arguments which were presented to me by my friends or by people discussing this topic online.

this is just because i feel like everyone who points out this same face syndrome doesnt really know why it bothers them, so here are some points i want to make.

first of all, upon asking my friend what they thought of the debate, they said they agree that all the Overwatch women’s faces look the same, stating that they knew this because “i have eyes,” as they put it. i just thought this would be a funny thing to put here, and it in no way is meant to derail the legitimate arguments which they or i have.

some other things this friend said (slightly edited for grammar or missing context from previous statements):

“the female hero that looks the most different is Zarya but her face is just wider, they still all have very similar nose and eye shapes, their facial designs are very plain in-game”

“it’s similar to frozen in how yes they look different but they all look very similar”

“in the cinematics the women look very different but in-game it’s almost like there was one basic model that was slightly tweaked for each character” (this is a point that i will mention and address later on)

“like damn if youre gonna have ‘em look different for the cinematography you cant adapt even just a little more of that into the game itself?”

“did u notice how small the noses on the black characters were” (this is addressing the models which Blizzard released, which are seen below)

another friend of mine had these statements to offer (slightly edited for grammar or missing context from previous statements):

“Okay, like, how many paintings or images or films or books have been about ugly females? The answer is not whole hell of a lot. Art, in general whether we’re talking about games, books, paintings, poems, films, they all have a problem with making ugly female characters. Even characters that are supposed to be “ugly” are often just a different shades of beauty and people find that beauty later. Meanwhile, a man could use his ugliness to his advantage, like Shrek, or the Beast, two ugly characters that frighten and intimidate people. I can’t think of any other “ugly” female character in the popular culture other than Fiona [from Shrek], maybe you have one?”

“Overwatch is guilty, yes, but it’s more indicative of a systemic problem overall. When humans tell stories about females, their beauty in some form or another has to be addressed” (i appreciated this friend’s application of this issue to the bigger picture outside of Overwatch because it definitely needed to be addressed alongside Blizzard’s same face syndrome)

a third friend had these things to say on the topic (slightly edited for grammar or missing context from previous statements):

“I suppose they do only add traditionally beautiful girls on there. It’s totally fair to say that they put more effort into the model design of the dudes than the girls.”

“Yah there is definitely a focus on accessories and ensuring feminine traits in the girls.”

“In general creating more variety in the way people are presented helps everyone.”

some counter-arguments i received were (slightly edited for grammar or missing context from previous statements):

“Mercy has shallow cheeks and a long face, Mei has a short face with chubby cheeks, Ana has a distinct grandma face” (i personally feel like Ana looks about 35 at most)

“Mercy has a pointy chin, Pharah has a flat square chin”

“Tracer has a flatter round chin”

“Even that overlay of Mercy’s face onto [Brigitte]… The jaw? Different. Mercy has shallower cheeks. The chin? Not even close to the same shape. The nose? Mercy has a much thinner, longer nose.” (referring to the image below)

(from @arimarushunya​)

i received other counter-arguments that were made during a verbal conversation, but i dont remember them. however, i will provide counter-arguments below during my argument.

i am pulling the next part of this post from a long discussion i had with a friend about this matter, and they provided good counter-arguments that are very important to include during my argument because i do not want anyone to think that i am not aware of other ways that people may look at this, nor do i wish for anyone to think that i refuse to listen to other views.

i agree with some of the counter-arguments, but i still stand by my criticism that there could be more effort put in. do i expect that, though? absolutely not. this is just my opinion and nothing more. just a commentary on some person’s irrelevant blog.

first of all, the fact that many of the men’s faces look literally so different from each other needs to be addressed. each one is very unique, or at least a good portion of them. for example:

Roadhog has a really round head.

Junkrat has a banana-shaped head.

McCree has a square jaw.

Hanzo has a very strong brow and jawline.

Torbjorn has a very compressed face.

Winston is a fucking gorilla for chrissake.

many of the male characters in Overwatch have something very unique and discernible from the other male characters. while i do concede that some male models are similar to each other, and some male models wear masks or are not even human (my mention of Winston is half-joking, as i know many people consider him to be a different category, but i also think it should be noted that there are no non-human (or at least, non-human-like) women in Overwatch), i think that the amount of distinctly different male models in comparison to the amount of distinctly different female models is….. annoying. lazy. boring. embarrassing, even.

my biggest point is that the people who have an issue with this same face syndrome is that we’re tired of seeing the same model with tiny changes made to it. you can only look at the same woman with slightly different features so many times before you start to ask, “is this it?” give us something new to look at, Blizzard!

now, a counter-argument i received was that you dont really look at the face much in game. my friend said, “faces, in a game where faces are barely seen, barely matter. in the cinematics they matter a lot.” while i acknowledge the truth behind the argument that you dont look at the characters’ faces much while playing, i still think that the faces do hold some significance, because otherwise all the male models would have the same faces in-game. Blizzard has taken the time to carefully create these incredibly unique models for each male character, but when it comes to creating the female characters’ models, Blizzard sort of gives up and barely changes the default model they seem to use. this isnt a matter of unimportance as it is a matter of laziness.

the best example of this is with Brigitte, who is the most recent addition to the heroes gallery. in her cinematic, she is seen as broad-shouldered with a round face, round eyes, olive or tan skin, a round chin, thick lips, green/hazel eyes and brown hair. however, when it comes to her in-game model, well… she doesnt exactly live up to that. her in-game model has reddish hair, brown eyes, a slender face, a pointed chin, light skin, almond-shaped eyes, and a thin upper lip. she almost doesnt look like the same person! you can see the differences in the image below.

(from @flambxyant​)

now, some people commented on the post that this image is from that the engines used for the cinematics and the game are different. and while i concede that these arent the same, and therefore it would be difficult to make an exact replica of the cinematic version of Brigitte in the game engine, i feel like she still falls short of what could be accomplished. if the problem was truly the difference in the engines, then you would see a similar change in the male models between the cinematic engine and the game engine. however, Blizzard seems to have no problem replicating models in both engines, except for when it come to the female models. thats the problem that people have; they arent being nit-picky, as some may argue – this is an actual issue that many people are noticing.

as seen in previous images, Brigitte has been compared to Mercy, who is a popular support character in the game (Brigitte is also a support character), as well as to D.VA and Tracer, who are not support characters (im not really sure what the categories are other than support tbh). the issue which is being presented is that many of the Overwatch women have very similar faces; even if they have some unique features, the female models in Overwatch still do not stray too far from the base model which is clearly detectable in all of them. you do not really see this as clearly in the male models, as each of them has been changed to express the character’s personality or background. it is more difficult to pick up on a character’s personality or background when looking at the female models; you can kind of gauge that Ana is older and may have been in a war because she has vaguely wrinkled skin and an eye patch, but other than that, the women of Overwatch arent exactly telling their stories unless you read their lore.

another issue i have to address is that, while all of the characters have a unique backstory, not everyone playing Overwatch is interested in that; some people just want to play the game. and when you have a heroes gallery with a plethora of unique male models to choose from, and then basically the same face on all of the female models, it feels kind of…. lacking. like, “oh wow, a new character!” but how new is the character if youre just looking at the same model with slight changes in the face and a repaint? you might as well just be getting a different skin and slapping it onto one available option.

my issue here is that having unique lore doesnt counteract the fact that the female models all look very similar to each other. when youre playing the game, youre looking at the model. sure, you get different weapons and armour, but it’s the same figure. and honestly, i kind of get the feeling that Blizzard tries to give each female model a sense of uniqueness by changing their armour or clothes instead of their model shape or size.

it just doesnt feel right when you compare it to how unique each male model is. you feel refreshed when looking at each male character because they all have a unique silhouette; theyre easily discernible from the others. however, the female models all have rather similar silhouettes: tall and slender. this isnt to completely disregard Mei and Zarya, but really, those two are essentially the only unique silhouettes out of all the of female models.

while im not disparaging the fact that Blizzard has created unique lore for each character, i still feel like having as much model diversity in the female models as is in the male models would be nice. like, i think everyone can agree that having different silhouettes in the male models is really refreshing to look at, and in turn, having different silhouettes in the female models would be just as pleasant. 

i feel as though Blizzard is apprehensive about going out of their comfort zone when creating female models. they kind of seem to default on slender, attractive faces with thin noses. this isnt to say that non-slender faces or big noses cant be attractive; i am saying that Blizzard sticks to western beauty standards when creating their female models. my friend made a counter-argument that the target audience is men, and therefore the women characters are often going to be designed to appeal to this audience. while i understand the reason why Blizzard would do this, as appealing to this audience will likely raise their profits and positive reception, i still feel like they are missing out on a lot of potential that the company has. like, let’s be real here……. if there are people who will main Junkrat and want to bone down with his nasty ass, then im pretty sure that there would be people who would enjoy a less conventionally attractive female character.

i have an issue with the fact that Blizzard wont even attempt to create a unique female model. it’s almost as if they made Zarya and Mei and were like “thats good! no more!” but yet they will make a gorilla; and a really fat guy; and a skinny, unkempt, hunched over dude. but they wont even try to accomplish anything like that when creating a female model. sure, Ana is sort of hunched over to indicate her age, but she still maintains a relatively dainty posture.

Overwatch gets praise for the diversity seen in their characters, and while my friend made a counter-argument that it might just be for national diversity – or racial diversity, or whatever you wanna call it when people come from different parts of the world –  i still feel like this diversity is lacking in the women of Overwatch. the men of Overwatch have all sorts of body types: short, tall, skinny, fat, muscled, disabilities, etc…… but the women have significantly less body types: you have Zarya, who is broad-shouldered and has muscles; you have Mei, who is plus-sized – or fat, or thicc if you prefer; you have Ana who is old and sort of shows it; you have Sombra who is slightly shorter than the rest of the characters, but not by much; you have Moira who is slightly taller than the rest of the characters, but not by much….. but generally, all of the women of Overwatch look pretty much the same. theres not much diversity seen there.

now, again, do i expect Blizzard to change the way they design female characters? no, because as my friend stated, “…their current formula is working out quite well…” i just wish that when people look at the characters in Overwatch, they could have something new to see in each and every character. it’s tiring to see pretty much the same woman with different clothes when the men of Overwatch are so distinct from each other.

and yes, while i do not play Overwatch, or any video games for that matter, that doesnt mean my argument is pointless. sure, i dont expect anything to come of it, but it’s at least food for thought, you know? and if you think about it, the lack of diversity in the female models in Overwatch doesnt do much good in showing the creative abilities of Blizzard, which is a public company and therefore trying to sell their product to an audience who very likely wants to buy something unique and impressive. thats not to say Overwatch isnt impressive – i actually find the art style to be extremely attractive, and the fact that it is such a popular game goes to show that the company is doing something right. but that doesnt mean that the game is flawless; it just means the flaws are often overlooked or just accepted by the consumers and creators.

you see, when i look at a character and see how unique and detailed their physical design is in comparison to other characters that it is associated with, i am able to tell that the person who made that character put a lot of time, care, and thought into that character in order to make it stand out as its own individual. when looking at how similar the women of Overwatch look to each other, i cant help but feel that there is a lack of time, care, and thought going into them. you can tell the creators thought a lot about each man in Overwatch, as they all look like individuals compared to one another; however, this isnt very present when looking at the women of Overwatch.

you see, you need to put care and effort into all of your characters in order for people to take your diversity seriously. if youre presenting all of the same models for the women, but really unique models for the men, sure, you have representation for women, but it kind of feels like you see women as identical and incapable of being as unique as men can be, which is just lazy and kind of sexist. and im not trying to get into a really stupidly obnoxious “this is sexist!” argument, because tbh i hate those, but like…. i just wanna see some new stuff brought to the table. something to really make you go, “wow, that character really stands out from the others!”

i dont feel like my opinion of the game – or really anyone’s opinion of the game – would change if Overwatch were to have more diverse female models, but i do think that people, no matter what their opinions of the game were, would at least be able to look at the character and be able to tell that at least the creators put thought and care into each character. while there definitely is care and thought seen in each character, i dont really see an issue with some people wishing there was just a bit more for the women of Overwatch.

anyways that basically all i have. if you made it this far, i appreciate you reading all of this. feel free to message me or something about this (on @nuketowncryptid since i dont have any messaging system set up on this blog because it’s pointless) if you wanna talk about it. anyways, thank you so much for reading what i have to say. you dont have to share this if you dont want to, and again, i really dont want to have anyone feel like im pushing my opinions on them; i just wanted to share my thoughts on the subject. overall, im just glad to see people are at least enjoying the game because in the end, thats what really counts.