#i will not compromise and i am so very particular about my things and i cannot imagine anyone else particular in the same way i am
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#learning that there are things that could be disagreements in a shared living situation that i never even considered#everyone warned me about division of chores and differing desires for house decor or like. use of the bathroom.#but now it's like bro we already have a 50'' tv we do not need a bigger one. what the fuck.#don't offer to pay for it yourself i straight up don't want that in our living room.#or like. being willing to save up for a good investment vs wanting to get something good enough for now and upgrading further down#the latter has its merits especially depending on what it is but it sounds like a waste of money for some smaller things#whyyyyyyy are we buying this shitty 20 dollar shoe rack right now#that we'll need to either store away or sell when we get the nice 60 dollar one. why can't we just wait and make do with our stairway rn.#anyways. not to get extreme about it but this is another reason why i can't see myself getting married <3#i will not compromise and i am so very particular about my things and i cannot imagine anyone else particular in the same way i am#and i would not make someone else compromise for me bc i don't think i would be compromising for them and that just isn't right#they speak!
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hobie brown x o’hara!reader
request?: yes
request: “I know you’re probably busy 🙏🏽 but can I request a hobie x reader Where reader is miguels kid but from another universe and we were known as “dangerous” to the multiverse and miguel had to watch over us and we find out while hanging out with hobie and hobie has to comfort us as we try to process the fact that Miguel wasn’t our real dad and just someone keeping the mutliverse safe?
I really hope this makes sense i just don’t know how to make is make sense uk? 😭 💀”
requested by: @millerworld
word count: 1.7k
genre: angst with some fluff
Warnings: language, mentions of childbirth death, big feelings of betrayal, probably horrible spanish, honestly a lot of angst
A/N: apologies for the wait for this one! i love writing angst though so i was rubbing my hands together like an evil lil bitch writing this. i apologize if the spanish is wrong/not how it would actually be said/worded. been a minute since i took a spanish course, so i am a little rusty. please enjoy, and thank you so much for requesting, love! :)
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Ever since you remembered your dad, Miguel O’Hara, was there. Of course, there are certain moments of your childhood you don’t remember, as every child has, but your earliest memory is your dad picking you up and soothing you as you cried at two years old. And ever since then, he was always there. Your friends at school would always say you were so lucky that you had a dad that was so devoted to you, and you agreed. To an extent. See, he was very particular about what he allowed you to do. It wasn’t in a negative way, necessarily, he was just protective. His favorite saying and your least favorite saying in your house was ‘I just want what’s best for you, cariño.’
It resulted in you staying home from school events, friend events, and generally any type of event where your safety could have been compromised. It caused you to be a bit of a loner, always hearing about the parties, the gossip, all of it instead of actually experiencing it for yourself.
Of course, it annoyed you.
It still does.
He’s loosened up a bit eventually, though, allowing you to go to work with him. Which also meant you got to meet many spiders. Quite a few of the spider-people quickly became your closest friends, as it was simpler and easier for your dad to keep tabs on you in Spider Society. Much to his chagrin, you quickly became best friends with Hobie Brown. The two of you were around the same age, and since you were annoyed at your dad and in your rebellious era, you got along swimmingly. A little too swimmingly, actually, which Miguel purposefully chose to ignore for the most part. Until he saw Hobie sucking his little one’s face off. Regardless, Hobie was always quick to validate all your conflicted, annoyed, and even positive feelings about your father. He even helped you come out of your shell and rebel against Miguel occasionally.
Miguel didn’t like this very much, but he also knew that Hobie was still a good influence on you. No matter how many times both of you tried to convince him that he wasn’t. But sometimes, Hobie would talk you into doing things that he very much disliked. Hated, even. And this time was one of those times. While he was out, containing a particularly difficult anomaly, Hobie convinced you to search through Miguel’s personal files on his supercomputer because he bet if your birth certificate would be anywhere, it would be there. When you found a folder with your name, you expected to open it to see some family pictures, hoping for your birth certificate with the name of your mom. Your dad never really talked about your mom, just that she passed away during childbirth. You stopped asking because every time you did, he would get very quiet and a guilty look would appear on his face. But you’d be lying if you said you weren’t curious. So you went into this endeavor excited to see what you might find out. Unfortunately, that excitement didn’t last for very long. See when you opened your file expecting these mundane things, that wasn’t what you were met with.
In fact, that was nowhere near what you found.
You found detailed notes all about you.
“What the hell,” you mumble, scrolling through the various pictures of you as an infant, with two adult strangers. Hobie said nothing, looking at all the pictures and skimming the important parts of all the files you were pulling up with a frown on his face. You stop on a specific picture of a woman holding you in a hospital bed. She was smiling.
And she was very much alive.
Tears immediately start to well up in your eyes as Hobie gently pulls your hands away from the computer. “Think that’s enough a’ that, love,” he says softly. You yank your arms away from him. “No.” You scroll to the next photo, seeing a man you’ve never met before holding you in the same hospital room, with the same strange woman right next to him. The next time you scroll, it’s a detailed account from Miguel about who you are. Notes from your dad declaring you a ‘danger’ and that you ‘must be contained somehow.’ Talk of your biological parents, their names, and how you had to be separated from them before ‘irreversible damage was done to the multiverse.’
You stare at the screen, and Hobie pulls your hands away again, successfully this time. He steps between you and the screens, blocking your view and slowly walking you backward and away from the files. You’re too shocked to say anything, the only thing you can do is quietly cry. Hobie opens his mouth to say something when Miguel’s voice rings out. “What do the two of you think you’re doing?”
The two of you turn your heads toward Miguel, and his annoyed frown turns to one of concern as soon as he sees the look on your face. “¿Qué tienes, mi corazón?” Miguel asks, his voice much softer as he approaches you. Hobie moves, positioning himself between you and your ‘father,’ and scoffs. “Think you got some explainin’ to do ‘ere, mate,” Hobie says, and Miguel looks at him confused. Then he sees what’s on the screen. A look of horrified realization spreads across his face, and he looks at you. “(Y/n), cariño, I can explain.”
“Don’t call me that,” your voice, albeit shaky, finally comes back to you. Hobie turns his attention to you, squeezing the hand you’ve been holding onto for dear life ever since he pulled you away from the computer. “(Y/n)—”
“Who am I? Who are you to me?”
“…Please, let me—”
“WHO ARE THOSE PEOPLE?!” you shout, desperately yearning for your dad to say they weren’t what was said in his reports. But all he does is frown. “They’re… they are your biological parents,” he confesses, and you make a choked noise. Hobie subtly begins turning his watch to his universe, ready to make an escape from your dad at any point. “If you just let me explain—”
“I’m a threat to the multiverse?” you choke out through your tears, “What the fuck does that mean, papá?! If I can even call you that.” Miguel’s jaw clenches. “Don’t forget who raised you.”
“How could I?! How could you?! Is this why you never let me do anything?! Too worried your querido bebecito would destroy the fucking multiverse?!”
“(Y/n). I did it to protect everyone.”
“What about me?! Did you ever plan on telling me?! How is separating me from my family protecting me?!” Hobie places an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer and keeping you shielded by him as Miguel tries to step closer to you. Miguel glares at him, and Hobie glares back. Miguel holds out his hand in a surrendering way. “It was to protect you just as much, if not more, as it was to protect everyone else. If you would just listen—“
“No. No, I’m done listening to you.”
“Cariño—”
“I am not tú cariño. I am not tú corazoón. You are not mi papá,” you say, venom behind your words. You can practically see Miguel’s heart shatter into tiny little pieces.
That was the worst thing you could have ever said to him.
Before he can say anything else, Hobie opens the portal, pulling you through and closing it almost immediately. You find yourself in the familiar atmosphere of his flat. “C’mere, love,” he mumbles, pulling you into his arms. You grip his shirt, sobbing into his chest as he rocks you back and forth, softly shushing you occasionally and rubbing your back. After what feels like hours, but was really maybe a minute, he swiftly picks you up, carrying you bridal style to his bed as you continue to cry into his shirt. He sits down, placing a soft kiss to the top of your head and rubbing up and down your arm. He can’t help but feel guilty for this. If he didn’t convince you to look at the computer…
“Don’t blame yourself, Hobie… please,” you whimper, and he sighs. “Love, you needa stop bein’ so good at knowin’ what i’m thinkin’,” he mumbles, and you look up at him with a soft smile. “Can’t help it. Even your thoughts are loud,” you say, and he snorts. “Chuffed to see the cryin’ made ya feel better,” he says and you shake your head. “I still feel like shit, Hobie,” you whisper, and he frowns. He gently wipes some tears away from your cheeks. “Reckon all ‘at cryin’ has you knackered?” he mumbles, and you nod softly. He lays backwards, maneuvering the two of you to be laying down. The two of you face each other, one of his hands cradling the side of your face while the other soothingly rubs up and down your side. You grip onto his shirt, and he places a soft peck on your nose. “‘m sorry, love,” he says, and you sniffle. “I already told you it isn’t your fault.”
“‘Kay, still feel like it was,” he says, and you sigh. “That’s not important right now,” he mumbles, gently pulling you closer. “What’s important is that I make you feel better.” You look at him, your eyes are still glossy from tears. “Never met someone who looked so stunnin’ when they cry,” he says, gently stroking your cheek. You smile softly, and he does too. “There’s my favorite smile,” he whispers before softly placing his lips on yours. It’s only for a second, but it makes all the pain go away. And you’re grateful for that. Even if it is just for a second. “Get some sleep, love.” He kisses your forehead, tangling his legs with yours and pulling your head into his chest. You relax into him. He was right. The crying was exhausting. Before you know it, you’re asleep as Hobie gently traces shapes into your skin, whispering anything and everything he loves about you to you so softly that if you weren’t really listening, you wouldn’t hear any of it. No one makes you feel protected quite like Hobie does.
And even if it’s just for a moment, thanks to Hobie, you feel like everything will be okay.
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#hobie brown x reader#hobie x reader#hobie brown x y/n#hobie brown x you#spiderpunk x reader#spiderverse x reader#o'hara!reader#dad!miguel#hobie brown#hobie#miguel o'hara#spiderverse
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BiAsBuck’s ficrec Fraturdays
Happy weekend everyone! So many loose ends tied up....except *eyes* oh I'm loving the season so far. Back with more fic that I've read and loved this week, with a mix of short one shots and longer stories. As always you can find previous rec lists here. Some light spoilers for the season.
19 October 2024
I did think, let’s go about this slowly by @pelorsdyke is a short and insightful peek into Karen's mindset at the start of hers and Hen's relationship, as she overcomes her own fears of adhering to stereotype and committing too hard and too fast. But she finds a way to balance her heart's wants with her mind's eye, and find a intimacy she can build on along the way.
I didn't know (that it could be good) by @rainbow-nerdss 'Eddie lets himself into Buck's apartment unannounced, and finds him in a compromising position. That should be nothing, just something to laugh about down the line, except afterwards, it's like a switch has flipped, and neither of them can get it out of their minds. The solution? They need to get it out of their systems.' Best friends that secretly hook up and don't question it because it feels good and that's their favourite person and nothing has to change right? trope my beloved. God this fic is absolutely swoonworthy, and I'm still giving it hearteyes for days. Do yourself a favour and read it right now.
please, please, please by @bookinit02 'So, a widower walks into a bar, and he hasn’t been held by someone he loves in years.' A touch starved Eddie starving for Buck's touch in particular! In which Buck subconsciously stops casually touching Eddie after he comes out, and Eddie notices and is not happy about it. Circa S7/S8, they soon set out to resolve the issue. Such a great exploration of a complicated yearning, and then I particularly loved their flirtatious bickering in this fic because it was so very very them and endearing as hell.
kerosene by @roguebuck is almost the flipside...a post 7x06 fic starting from the wedding, in which Buck isn't sure why 'nothing's going to change' unsettles him so much and why he can't get Eddie out of his head...even at the most inopportune times. But sometimes all it takes to make a change is for someone to pour the gas and light a match...and this fic sure does that!
the city is a jungle and i’m a beast by @putanauhere just in time for canon!werewolf Eddie, this is such a brilliant fic that really immersed me in the story, and was so well thought out to make the werewolf lore fit into 911verse smoothly. Eddie and his platoon were bit by a werewolf during his time in the army, and so as long as he's been with the 118 he's been keeping a secret. When a call to a magick shop goes awry, Buck's infodumping on the habits of wolves meets Eddie's reluctance to concede to superstition...but he's mostly desperate to hide. When Buck follows him to his safe house, things soon go awry, and together they must learn to live with the consequences. Perfect spooky season fic, and really emotional as well.
Any Other Way by @cal-daisies-and-briars I have been meaning to read this for weeks and am so glad I finally have! This is a fic where Eddie and Buck's lives take on each other's paths - an unattached and openly gay Eddie going on an aimless teenage wanderlust after his high school girlfriend left suddenly, and Buck signing up to the army to spite his parents. Then one day Eddie runs into Shannon at the grocery store...with a young boy at her side. This is a really wonderful fic about a lifechanging secret and stepping up to parenthood, overcoming fears and letting your guard down. I loved how despite the narrative switcheroo, their motivations remain true to themselves and their family at the core.
the sound of the saw (must be known by the tree) by @absolutelybifurious a fic inspired by the last episode of Grey's Anatomy I ever watched lmao. Eddie blames himself for Chris leaving, but Buck is frustrated that the time has stretched out so long, and is encouraging him to go get him. But Eddie doesn't want to hear it and they part on rocky ground with Eddie boarding a plane to El Paso for some wildfire training. When Buck receives a voicemail, the world shifts from under his feet, and the 118 race to save Eddie. This was passionate and angsty and the love sings off the page.
See you next week, trick or treat!!
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Favorite TodoBaku/BakuTodo fics
So, I am fairly new to this fandom/pairing, but I decided to start building my favorites list. Already it is very, very hard to choose. There are so many amazing fics and incredible authors writing them (see my a03 bookmarks for more). But these (in no particular order) are the ones I am coming back to/re-reading the most. (I'll be adding to this as I go, this is just the start of it). Many of these authors have other fantastic todobaku/bakutodo fics as well.
playing with fire by ninanna. rated M. How things unfold and overlap, hurt and please between two people who do not see any potential in each other beside rivalry and occasional partnership. [Note: I think this is now my favorite all-time fic; it's a tour de force; spectacular. all ninanna's todabaku/bakutodo fics are - the author reaches in and rips out your guts in the best way possible.]
The Feel of His Hand is Like Home by XenophonSpeaks. rated T. A typical mission goes unexpectedly south, leaving Todoroki reeling with panic, injured and compromised. Thankfully, he didn't embark on this mission alone. [This author! so good.]
Sated, by Crossfire. rated M. Some Alphas and Omegas get cuddly, or tired, or hungry. Some Alphas and Omegas like to fuck. Bakugou and Todoroki like to fight. [I'm a sucker for (especially non-explicit) alpha/beta/omega, and this one hits the sweetest of sweet spots.]
anything you say can and will be held against you by delectum. rated G. What is the correct protocol for when the villain you’re supposed to be apprehending starts flirting? [So funny and perfectly executed.]
Be Kind, Rewind by seventh_time_lucky. rated T. What starts off as a normal-seeming Sunday starts to get stranger and stranger, until Shouto finds himself locked out of UA, with no money and no phone, and the only person he can find to help is Midoriya. But Midoriya is too tall and cries every time he looks at Shouto, and Shouto starts to think something has gone really, really wrong. [Perfect angst. wip.]
Finding and Holding by bigcatsmallcat. rated T. Shouto gets temporarily quirked into a mushroom. [This one is really bakutododeku, but it is so adorable I had to put it in.]
Something of Silence by Viidoll. rated T. When Bakugou Katsuki is unexpectedly hit with a muting quirk, he makes it his mission to hunt down the moron stupid enough to silence him. Reluctant to receive help, he somehow gets it anyway - in the perplexing form of one Todoroki Shouto. In the process of losing his voice and struggling to get it back, Bakugou might just learn a little about listening. [Ah, one of the earliest ones I read of these two. So perfect.]
put some socks on by Tierfal. rated T. Shouto comes home after an extremely long day, and Bakugou is sitting on the couch. [The banter here is especially delectable.]
the witch's familiar by orange_cheetah. rated M. The night he escapes from the castle, crown prince Todoroki Shouto finds himself cursed by the magician in his father's employ. Undeterred, Todoroki strikes up a deal of his own: kill the most powerful witch in the kingdom to have the curse broken. There's just one small problem: he's somehow ended up as the familiar of the witch in question—Bakugou Katsuki. [This is such great storytelling, the way the pieces all slot into place at the end.]
i'm tired, i'm tired of not loving you by yekijan. rated M. [Amnesia fic. So much fabulous angst.]
Ten Years Wanting by Ramabear (RyMagnatar). Rated E. Bakugou. His name is Bakugou. Or at least that is what they call him.Everyone has been calling him by some other phrase that he cannot understand and that makes his head hurt when he hears it too much. Bakugou doesn’t feel right until he hears Todoroki call him that and then it does. He remembers Todoroki calling him Bakugou. He has never really said his name with fondness and even now, as he tells Bakugou what he expects of him, he doesn’t say it kindly but he does say it.Something in the back of Bakugou’s mind tells him that this is progress. This is more than what there was before. This is closer to what he wants. [Another amnesia fic, this time the other way around].
A normal poly relationship doesn't have this many fucking spreadsheets by Anonymous. Not Rated. three teenage boys being fucking idiots because actually being mature about your feelings is for suckers. [wip. this is hilarious but also very sweet. warning: izuku is pretty much an asshole here, at least so far. and it is very much bakutodo/todobaku, not bakutododeku.]
I will love you in every universe by HeavenCat. Rated T. During a rescue mission, pro hero Katsuki aka Dynamight switches places with his fifteen-year-old self. (it's so good! so sweet and funny and good).
Ruin My Life by justhavesex. Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings. He's not a vengeful person, really, he's not. But him and Bakugou have started this little on-going war of theirs back in middle school when they were 10 years old and Todoroki had accidentally—if you got Todoroki drunk enough and fed his ego well enough he would, in fact, admit that it was very much on purpose—accidentally fed Bakugou's limited edition All Might magazine to his cat.
so, i got a new one (10/11/24):
Perfect by citrussunscreen. Teen and up. Sick of his supposedly perfect life, Todoroki Shouto decides he'll take whatever he can (only after careful consideration and scrutiny) to add some chaos in his life. In comes former classmate and pro-hero Bakugou Katsuki with buckets of colour to splash in Todoroki's life. TodoBaku. ABOverse [Note: WIP and not clear whether it will be continued. but it's so good! This author in general, the TodoBaku is just - chef's kiss!]
feel free to put your own faves in the comments or tags 😉
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Hi! I am little nervous, I have never approached anyone quite like this. First of all, I love your songs, they have made me happy and moved to tears many a time. You strike me as a person who has something to say. Although there is something I have been wondering... I have not seen you post anything about the genocide in Gaza. I know it's in no way your responsibility to give your opinion on anything you don’t want to but I guess personally, I'm a little confused. I feel like your music doesn’t shy away from politics so I am wondering if there is any specific reason you have not posted/said (to my knowledge) anything about Palestine? Thank you for taking your time to read this. You can respond in any way you want to and if you don’t want to, I hope I at least made you think for bit. ^^ Thank you for your music and thank you for existing<3
short answer: I believe there are forces within Israel's government and the more militant populace who would happily commit a full-on genocide if given the chance. I believe they're a minority.
I believe the events on October 7th radicalised a lot of previously moderate Israelis whose private stance is now that it's not a nice business going scorched earth on Palestine, but if they just hand-wring for long enough then the 'problem' of Palestine will be solved by Netanyahu and his government. They believe they can then absolve themselves of blame for the atrocities by voting him out and claim they were never in favour of his approach while still benefitting from the end of a near-century old compromise to their preferred scenario - which is an ethnostate. I believe most of these people might not even be aware on a conscious level that this is what they want.
I believe Hamas is using human shields by holing up in or near dense population centres, and I believe that the solution to that tactic shouldn't be killing civilians and saying they got in the way of your bombs.
I believe that Hamas probably were/are setting up within or near some hospitals, I haven't seen any convincing arguments as to why they wouldn't do that - I believe the response shouldn't be to destroy the hospital.
I believe there is no effective and ethical means of fighting Hamas with military force. It can be done effectively but unethically or ethically but ineffectively. I believe the majority of the Israeli government / professional military cares very little for doing it ethically.
I believe Israel as a state is an inherently colonial enterprise - which puts it on roughly equal footing with its closest allies.
I believe I am thoroughly capable of falling for misinformation about everything I just stated, which is part of why I've been reluctant to talk about this.
I believe it's odd to expect me and other entertainers to talk publicly about Israel/Palestine with any degree of authority. The reason for this being that if I say one thing wrong or get one statistic out of place, it invalidates my entire argument in the eyes of the very people I would be trying to convince and risks invalidating others' arguments if I make a particular mess out of it.
I believe it is performative for most entertainers to talk about this publicly - not in the sense that I or they are being insincere, but that there is an expectation for us to invoke certain left-wing shibboleths to signal that we're part of that ingroup, and reluctance to join in is taken as evidence that we're part of the outgroup.
But here we are. Those are all my beliefs on the topic.
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In defense of late-canon x files (including the revivals)
I was thinking about this poll after I commented on it, and I kinda want to be brave and say more.
Short answer to the poll's question before I go any further: If you're a new fan and a sensitive sort who thinks you'll struggle with your blorbos Really Going Through It and you really need a happy ending, I suggest you stop at the end of season 8. Do not pass go, do not look at spoilers. Disregard this post entirely, close the internet, and go look at something that makes you happy. (Also fuck every part of society that characterizes sensitivity as inherently weak and bad and some kind of personal failing, you are valid.)
That said, "quality" as a concept is entirely subjective, and the question of whether or not there's a decline in quality for any story is wholly subjective, too. In the case of x files? I'm not convinced there is a decline. I am going to be upfront that I haven't yet watched past season 8, though I am almost completely spoiled on events after that - and the reason I haven't watched yet is not because of how I know events are going to unfold, but simply because I don't want it to end!!! Ohh, the tension between "I CAN'T WAIT!!!" and "Nooo don't be over D:"
When I first came to txf fandom on tumblr and gradually became spoiled about what happens in late canon though, I was often left uncomfortable and tbh kinda queasy about it. As I said in my comment on the poll, the hate for especially the revival and IWTB, or to a lesser extent even seasons 8 & 9, is very well documented. But! There are other takes to be found here on tumblr if you figure out where to look, and my feelings have changed!
The thing is, I have yet to find myself in any fandom where there isn't a vocal subset of fans who dislike the story after a certain point. I am not joking when I say that no one hates the things they love as passionately as sci-fi and fantasy fans. In my experience, it often hinges on the extent to which a viewer has strong notions on where they would like the characters to end up. In particular with series where shipping is a dominant component for the bulk of a fandom, I have almost universally found that there comes some turning point in the story where "let them be happy you cowards" is the dominant view, and things that compromise the attainment of a degree of romantic stability and/or domesticity are, to many fans, annoying at best and despicable at worst. But! As one tagset on the linked poll said:
and I think for any fandom, that last tag especially is so so so important. (I think that's harder for people watching a weekly series live, bc you have so much time to analyze and speculate and dream before the next breadcrumb drops, but I digress.)
So why am I saying this and how do I apply it to x files? Well, I eventually found that there are also a subset of fans who find redeeming things right up to the very end and actually quite like the whole thing! The things that I had seen people rage and ventpost so much about honestly never quite sounded to me as "out of character" or "untrue to the story" etc as those same ventposts made them sound. And I've discovered I'm not the only one who felt that way. Do I love that the spooky squad had to go through all of those things? No, those poor guys D: Life is hard and they have been through so much trauma. But do those events and their choices make sense to me in light of everything that came before? Yes! And I honestly can't wait to see them fight to overcome those things, breaking, healing, always learning, always growing, always getting better.
So if you're wondering "where does it go wrong"... well, I'm a completionist, as many people who've answered that post are, but also my personal opinion is that I don't think it does go wrong. If you're new and interested in exploring why I've gone from "vaguely queasy" to "excited" about the whole thing, or want to maybe balance out the impressions you're getting about the later seasons before deciding whether or not you want to see the whole thing, I'll put a few blog names in the comments.
Final admission: even once I started feeling a little more confident in the possibility that "actually ok maybe I'm not crazy, maybe this all kind of is in character and does make sense", there was one big plot point that I was NOT looking forward to and I thought I would never be comfortable about. In hindsight, I think my discomfort came from the negative responses being SO seemingly universal that I hadn't stopped to let myself truly consider other possible interpretations on that point. (I mean my initial instinct when I first read about it was, why are we mad about this?? CSM is literally the most unreliable narrator in history???? it's obviously fake news?????? this must be either a fever dream someone's having or it's a misdirection ploy against whatever shadowy forces might still be lurking?????????????? but for whatever reason I guess I had halfway written that off.) Happily, just last month there's a new post-s11 novel out, and although reviews for the book as a whole are mixed, it seems to have laid the groundwork for resolving that plot issue in a way I think most fans would be broadly happy with. If you're interested in being spoiled about that and seeing how, I recommend searching #perihelion on @agent-troi who liveblogged reading it with receipts, scroll back chronological-style to the first post on the subject and see how it unfolded. (And never forget that Dana Katherine Scully is the queen of denial as a coping mechanism lol)
Everyone's mileage will vary. Each person can feel however they want! But for anyone new, I wanted you to know that the very many ventposts you might be seeing are not all there is to this show or its fandom. Some of us love it despite - or even because of - all the things that went "wrong". I think we just don't talk about it as much.
#i don't talk about it much because tbh it can get *fraught*. and i've had that in other fandoms too.#i added and deleted so many qualifiers from this post over it lmao#people are passionate about fandom which is great! as a concept#but it sucks feeling like most people hate the thing you love or that - however diplomatically it's phrased - you should hate it too#or that folks think maybe you *would* be mad if you just looked at it a certain (sometimes seemingly cast as the 'correct') way#basically it's insane that half the time when i see people standing up and praising the revival i'm like 'damn bruh. you brave'#and feeling that way is partly a me thing. but i've seen posts that also lead me to believe it's not JUST a me thing yaknow?#i always wonder whether the 'vocal subset' in any given fandom who hate a thing are really the majority that they appear to be#or if they just appear to be the majority because they've needed to be vocal about it as a sort of internet support group thing lol#which fair enough i mean anyone's entitled to be disappointed or have feelings#for me? i don't think i can remember ever being mad about a series i liked#i'm just here for the vibes man i very rarely have fixed notions#i say to the writers: go ahead and surprise me. i'll make sense of pretty much anything they throw at me#i also think about a dd quote i saw ages ago that as an actor you (paraphrased): can't say 'the character would not do that'#...because if it's in the script then by definition they *did* do that. it's right there on the page.#and that's kind of me as a fan too.#p.s. i fucking love season 8 i love angst and holy shit it delivers. the new characters are fantastic the journey is *chef's kiss* and#yes i consider certain temperamental even assholeish behavior to also be *chef's kiss* there's so much trauma so much reason for it#it's be-yoo-ti-ful 💕 season 8 my beloved 😍#anyway watch it all watch none do what you want. just know that there are people who would cuddle the whole damn thing from start to finish#like a floppy wet lil raggedy ann doll if only they COULD#x files#the x files#txf revival#txf thoughts#i love you floppy wet raggedy ann doll
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Local Maximums
A while back I read an opinion piece my a woman who was upset about the state of grocery shopping these days. I can't really disagree with the basic premise that food in NZ is too expensive and this causes a lot of trouble for people who are living paycheck to paycheck. And shopping at the supermarket can be pretty stressful for a variety of reasons!
BUT, when the writer started to describe her shopping process... it was a massive odyssey. Of a Saturday she was dragging herself and her kids through multiple different shops - a Pak n Save, a Countdown, a fruit & veggie shop, maybe even a butcher as well - looking for the cheapest everything to stretch her budget, the particular whatever her husband wanted, the brand of snacks that her autistic child would eat. Of course she was sitting in traffic and fighting for parking and struggling with the kids and navigating trolleys at every single one of these locations. It sounded incredibly stressful! And she was incredibly stressed about it by the time she got home (and so were the kids).
"Surely just buying food shouldn't be this difficult?" she cried. And, well... no, I don't think it should be. Obviously I don't know every detail of this woman's life and I probably have extreme DINK privilege, but the ordeal she tried to pose as relatable seemed to me largely self-inflicted. Some of these issues seem trivially solvable: if you know your kid will only eat one type of snack, why wouldn't you just buy ten boxes at once? Can you plan ahead and click & collect any of these shops so you don't have to drag the kids around the supermarket itself? Can you pop out by yourself on a quiet evening?
And then we get into some more speculative cost-benefit questions that will depend on the exact details. Are the vegetables from the fruit & veggie shop cheaper enough to make up for the petrol you spend driving there? (Petrol is also expensive in my beautiful country.) What value do you really place on your time and stress? Is the money saved or the special thing for your husband really, genuinely worth the effort? If you are doing all of this work to save money, could you instead work a bit more to earn more money instead? Add a couple of extra hours a week onto your contract so you can afford to shop at a nicer supermarket or get groceries delivered, and save that much time or more on the weekend, plus less screaming from your children.
(By the way, I got that last idea from an old flatmate of mine. His philosophy was that it was better for him to work an extra hour every night and get takeaways for dinner than to spend that hour cooking something cheaper but not very good. I would have been more convinced by this [and his related opinions about division of labour] if he hadn't been allowing his PhD student girlfriend to cook him literally three meals a day.)
Anyway, this writer spectacularly failed to make her problems relatable to me, but there probably is something to be learned here. It's about how easy it is to reach a local maximum in your life: where you look at what you're doing and think, this is the best way I could possibly be doing it. But you're wrong! Maybe you've optimised your routine along one axis (e.g. cost) but totally neglected other axes (e.g. time/stress). You're making tradeoffs that you don't realise you're making. Things that you think are non-negotiable might actually be pretty easy to compromise on. It can take an outside perspective and a bit of convincing or experimentation to even realise that other possibilities exist, and maybe some of them are even better than what you're doing now.
So, in the end it's a good reminder to me to question my routines and ask whether I've trapped myself in any local maximums. What is stressing me out now that could be easier? Does everyone else have so much trouble with this? What opportunities am I missing? Surely it shouldn't be this difficult?
#sorry for writing an opinion piece about an opinion piece#I... don't have any tags for this#life advice#hashtag life advice
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All my bridgerton thoughts, compressed:
1. The true love story is definitely Penelope and Eloise. No matter how hard they try, they cannot pivot away from the fact that friendship is the heart of this season. Be it between Penelope and Eloise, or Eloise and Cressida, or Penelope and Colin: it is that which drives this particular season.
2. To add to the above point: Colin may be Penelope's love interest, but it is Eloise who understands her. Eloise asks if Penelope seems despondent or sad - not just a simple is she okay but instead here are things she could be, which one is it? She knows her friend, no matter what. And Colin, for all that he is, does not find it all too startling that Penelope is suddenly looking for marriage. Eloise does. If Colin's eyes follow Pen across the ballroom, so do Eloise's.
3. Eloise has someone to talk to about the effect her friendship breakup is taking on her. Penelope has no one. I find Nicola to be an increasingly fantastic actor because she holds this tension so very well throughout the whole of Part 1. When Eloise comes to visit her, you see why she asked Colin what Penelope was feeling. Because Penelope is feeling that, has been feeling that ever since. Its so raw and on her face for the world to see but only one person ever looked and understood and read her like a book.
4. The two fingers while fixing her dress? Gag me god gag me
5. I have not seen the point of the Mondrich plot until this season which is where they are really using it to root the show to reality. There are conversations to be had that the society simply does not want to and Mondriches are the embodiment of it. Constantly knocking at society's door and making themselves be heard and fighting for a seat at the table but unwilling to compromise on what feels good and right. It's subtle and ita frustrating and I like that it's getting to people. You're going to get annoyed enough that the looking glass metaphor will play out in real life for you.
6. I see how unhinged Colin is being about Penelope and while I love that for her, I also get how fucked up her situation is rn. She does need stability. She has found her purpose. And I want her to be selfish in protecting that bit of herself. Instead of what she has been doing. She tried with Debling and yes, it was vexing to see how she ran after him but. I get it too? It's not always roses and camomiles. Cressida is the foil to this same narrative. The Bridgertons are foolishly romantic but that is just them. The show is through their lens but we can take a step back and see it for it is as well. I found Debling to be perfect and his reasons for ending everything were as well. If a little crassly done. Colin proposing to Penelope and falling headfirst in love just as she starts looking out for herself? My heart still needs to be sold on this idea, no matter how hot and sexy everything is.
7. The hair grab oh. Colin Bridgerton you slut. You whore. Colin Bridgerton would like to be pegged I promise. These two will actually be the couple who try out shit in the bedroom out of intrigue and discover a hidden kink. Colin finding the answer to his pent up ruminations when Penelope drags her hand tenderly through his hair vs Penelope close to tears because it is a dream come true and how many times has she imagined this and now its happening and its all that and more? Fucking yes
8. The diaries intrigue me. I shit you not I started this season with the firm belief that Colin had in fact NOT travelled lasts season because he was being all quiet about it. End of Ep 1 and I am now convinced he only really wants to talk if people listen and the only one who ever listened was Pen and if she's not there to hear him what is the point of speaking? He functions on 0 braincells because like. He has all the facts he's just not looking at them.
9. Someone talked of how they want to know more about Colin because he's been coming off as 2D and I agree. This is being told more from Penelope's view than Colin's and that is skewing the narrative a bit. I need more than 'pirate fashion-current rake-newly minted fuckboy' from him.
10. I like the yellow bedsheet.
11. The opening with the pining looks from Pen towards Eloise really set the mood and I'm so glad for it. For that matter I feel like Colin's apology for the comment last season was rushed and half hearted and I understand the hot and heavy vibes but they are friends first and that is the heart of the season and so much, so fucking much is left unresolved and I need them to have a couple of heated conversations PLEASE. express emotions fr!!! Beyond breathing hard!!
#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#bridgerton spoilers#bridgerton season 3 spoilers#polin#penelope featherington#colin bridgerton#ya these are straight up unfiltered y'all i may have more thoughts coming soon
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Sherlock's Wedding Speech
ok so this is a very random onehsot i've head in my head for AGES and it rained today and that means: perfect day to stay inside and write :D
the title says everything (even though i have NO idea if sherlock would actually say sth like this but i just love his best man speech way too much). hope you like it!
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Ladies and gentlemen, family, friends, and...uhm... others.
When I stood here for the first time, I was babbling something about telegrams that John received, which, in case you forgot, are still not actually telegrams; we just call them telegrams. I still haven't figured out why, by the way. I guess I'll just have to be content with the fact that it's a wedding tradition.
When I stood here for the first time, I thought telegrams were stupid because I didn't know what it was like to receive telegrams myself. I didn't understand why people would congratulate you on something like a wedding or on finding somebody you want to spend the rest of your life with. I thought it was stupid since a wedding is nobody else's business anyway, and after all, it is very rare that you actually do end up spending the rest of your life with the particular person you married that day. I didn't understand because I didn't know back then what it felt like to have found someone you knew you would love for the rest of your life and even longer still, no matter what. I didn't understand because I didn't know what it felt like to be loved by this particular person just as much in return.
When John Watson asked me to marry him, I suddenly did.
John Watson. My friend, John Watson. My...love.
When John first broached the subject of getting married, I was confused—even more so when he asked me to be his best man. I confess that at first, once again, I didn't realise he was asking me. It took me a little longer to understand what he was saying than when he asked me to be his best man and why he, all of a sudden, knelt down in front of me. I couldn't express just a scrap of emotion, which, understandably, unsettled John a bit. Looking back at it, I think the reason why I couldn't do it was because, just as I didn't expect to be anybody's best man or best friend, I didn't expect anybody to ever kneel down for me. Or, well, propose to me, as I later understood.
For a very long time, I thought that a wedding was nothing short of a celebration of all that is false, specious, irrational, and sentimental in this ailing and morally compromised world. I considered a wedding to be nothing but honouring the death watch beetle that is the doom of our society and, in time, one feels certain, our entire species. I, unfortunately, stated both of these fairly openly, if anyone has trouble remembering.
When John knelt down in front of me and asked me to be his husband, though, this mindset died just like my false belief about telegrams, and I finally started to understand.
John Watson right here is not only my helpmate during my adventures, which I consider to have been ours for a long time, actually. John Watson is not only the bravest, kindest, and wisest human being I have ever had the good fortune of knowing, even though this is, by any means, the case.
This man, whom I am lucky enough to call my husband from now on, is far more than that.
John Watson is the person I have never even imagined meeting, since it takes a good bit of luck to meet your special someone. But I did have this luck. Because John Watson is my special someone.
He is the person I will love for the rest of my life and even longer, and he has saved me from so many misfortunes I'm unable to put into words.
He is not only my best friend and the one whom I love most in this world, but also the one who showed me what it's like to be loved in return. He showed me that receiving felicitating telegrams is actually not a stupid thing at all, because sometimes even I cannot believe how lucky I am to have found my very own kind of forever.
He showed me that weddings are not a death watch beetle that is the doom of our society, but rather a promise that I am more than willing to make.
This time, I cannot congratulate you on your choice of companion, John. I'm still an utterly ridiculous man, redeemed only by the warmth and constancy of your friendship and...love. But, nevertheless, I will happily thank everyone who congratulates me.
When I say I love this man and will love him until all eternity, it is the truest promise of which I'm capable.
I won't say that I love John more than anybody has ever loved anyone before, since you cannot and should not compare one love to another. However, when I say I love this man, I mean that I love him more than anyone will ever love him and has ever loved him before, and that I have a lifetime ahead to prove that.
With the bright rings on our ring fingers, I've made an even brighter promise I will never forget to try to fulfil.
John, when you knelt down, you made me, and this is something I can say for certain, the happiest man on earth. I wish I could describe it more in detail, but I simply love you more than words can say.
With the rings on our fingers, you stole the very last piece of my heart, and I'm not afraid to call myself a heartless man any more.
I don't need legal papers to say that I'm yours and you're mine, because I already am and will always be yours. But if this is the way to celebrate the luck I've got, I'll be more than happy to raise my glass to the man who is not only my love but also my husband from this day on.
I love you, John Watson, more than everything I've ever loved before. Thank you for making me the happiest I've ever been.
tagging: @topsyturvy-turtely @a-victorian-girl @lisbeth-kk @peanitbear @just-a-fixed-point-in-time @dw91165 @writingloud @7-percent @blogstandbygoy @johnlockifconvenient @kat987 @mary-johnlocked @meohmycroft @consultingtribble @paulineholmes02 @jameshavinganxiety @lastsociopaths @catlock-holmes @jobooksncoffee (hope that's okay! tbh still don't get when and what people you're supposed to tag...)
#johnlock#bbc sherlock#sherlock#sherlock holmes#sherlock bbc#sherlock fandom#john watson#johnlock fanfiction#sherlock x john#wedding#wedding speech#jawnscoffeewrites
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Do you have advice when it comes to dating and finding your ideal partner (that including sex life as well)?
The older I get the harder it feels like to find someone that gets you on all levels AND also aligns with your sexual desires.. or is that also a compromise thing: you doing stuff to please your partner and vice versa, even if that particular thing isn’t much of a turn on for you usually?
For all intents and purposes, when I found most of my pets I wasn't looking for anyone. I would have previously said that a partner who understands me on all levels and aligns with my sexual desires completely wouldnt have been realistic. However I've been proven wrong of that quite a few times by my pets.
It is completely possible to find someone who understands you wholly and also aligns with you sexually. Some perhaps more than others. There is some compromise, but that just depends on how much you value having both or one or the other. However, I would suggest not settling. Sexual chemistry and sex (for those who have it and want it) is a very important part of a relationship. Do not decide to neglect it just because someone is exemplary in other aspects. They can be a friend for life, instead of a short fling. Not everyone is going to align perfectly, even if we find we care about them very much.
I would say there's nothing wrong with doing something to please a partner even if you don't particularly enjoy something. However I have found that doing so can take a toll and feel incredibly disheartening and ingeniune. People want to enjoy things with their partners. Engaging in activity just to find after it was a one sided expirence can be jarring and create a rift. A sense of distrust or unease. You want a partner to be open and honest with you about their feelings and that doesn't feel in line with that. Don't settle, there are plenty of other people who are just as into that one thing as you are. It can also be felt viscerally when a partner is doing something they don't particularly enjoy but are doing anyway. Ever complained about a sore spot and asked for a massage only to receive a massage very lackluster effort to your polite request? It feels just like that. Mechanical and empty and the other person seemingly always gets restless or tired rather quicker than it can even start.
Logically, those who understand you completely and make an effort to understand you better are most likely going to be the people who you'll find you're most compatible with. Just something to think about.
In my case I found several people whom I am extremely compatible with by just being open and honest about needs, if they are able to and willing to meet those needs. And vice versa. Those who want to show up will. Notice if their actions match with their words. Learn to recognize love bombing and shelving.
Have low risk, but uncomfortable conversations, that'll weed some out almost instantly.
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So I'm slowly starting to come to understand that we shouldn't censor things but also I'm still a little uncomfortable with the site allowing things like pedophilia to be written in a way that's romanticized. I get it. Avoid it since I don't like it but at what point do we say, 'hmm this isn't okay.' I mean I get it, fiction doesn't hurt people but if that were truly the case then why are we lobbying for rep/realism/etc in media? Fiction, at some point, has to have some effect on real life.
Hello darling! I got your second ask too, please don’t worry, you’re definitely not coming across as unkind.
And you’re definitely not the only one to have similar thoughts or concerns.
But my answer’s going to be the same.
There is no such thing as a little censorship, and opening that particular can of pringles is not going to end happily for anyone. It’s better to not open it at all. And yes, that means people will create deeply fucked up things. But they should have the ability to do so, just like you should have the ability to avoid the hell out of it.
(Which, for AO3, is where I start in on my tag your shit appropriately/read the fucking tags!!! Rants. Learned the hard way a million years ago when I *thought* I was reading something very very different than I was, so when I got to ‘Character has sex with a dog’ I lost my mind, then realized I fucked up and hadn’t read the tags. If I had, I would have noped out of that fic immediately. So. That entire encounter was on me.)
“At what point is this not okay?” Well, that’s the whole point, isn’t it? Who would be in charge of deciding where the line goes? Who gets to decide what goes on which side of the line?
The last anon seemed to think writing was the same as doing, and thus writing shouldn’t be allowed at all.
And then got annoyed when I pointed out how often those unsavory themes happen in movies or TV without any warning at all, and generally, people move right past it.
Fiction doesn’t hurt people. People hurt people.
My favorite comparison is still my kitchen curtains, because my curtains are still weird: fairies, trees. Very witchy. I’ve seen people do literal double takes over my curtains. I can tell by the way they squint they can’t stand them or don’t understand why I would want something so *non-traditional* in such a public part of my house. They keep their damned mouths shut though, because they know its rude to tell me to change my curtains to fit their idea of a kitchen. (And also because I’d toss them out after laughing my ass off but that’s not relevant)
Person A has an idea of what ‘acceptable’ levels are, but that’s much much less than person B. Who wins? No one.
And no one should have the power to just decide things like that.
It’s stupid o’clock at night where I am, so I’m not about to go digging for studies, but I know we’ve got pretty solid proof that media doesn’t cause behaviors spontaneously. At the risk of sounding old, but this same argument once was applied to music, too. The weird compromise was slapping content warnings for language/sex/violence on CD’s. (Y’know. A significantly less useful form of tagging?) It didn’t… really do shit for anyone. Other than make those CD’s more attractive to teens, tbh. But. The argument at the time was rap and rock were violent and would make kids go insane and violent just by listening.
It… didn’t. It still doesn’t.
Reading dark fic isn’t going to cause someone to do something out of the blue.
Someone who’s debating doing the thing might seek out media about whatever their obsession is, yes. But their obsession was already there. Fic, music, movies, they’re not going to create it. I’d wager those girls who murdered their friend and blamed ‘slenderman’ had signs long before they went that far.
Part of the problem with this entire thought is that it’s thought policing. Folks assume the thought equals the sin. And as someone with pretty wonky intrusive thoughts and a long family history of mental issues— no. I have weird ass thoughts all the time. ‘Huh, I’m up high, I should jump, maybe I’ll float.’ I’m not gonna act on them. I know they’re weird thoughts. I’m not gonna float, I’d just die. Your brain just… says things sometimes. Some of us more than others. Therapy’s helpful for folks who struggle with that.
Fiction’s got nothing to do with it, though. Fiction just represents someone else working through their lives.
Melissa Etheridge wrote a song (scarecrow) about Matthew Sheppard’s murder. She didn’t cause anyone else to go torture another lonely gay boy to death. She was working through her grief at losing another one of us. And we worked through our grief when she sang.
Art is made for the making of it. Fiction—even the kind that squicks you— is still art.
As for the other part of your ask, the representation? I’m not sure I see the connection you’re trying to make. When people talk about rep, they’re talking about making the characters more authentic, more reflective of the beautiful range of humanity at large. Not seven brown haired white guys and one bitchy white woman and the unnamed not-white side character used for shit jokes. There should be a rainbow of humans in media, because little black girls deserve to know they’re strong and smart and beautiful. Because queer kids of all sizes and shapes deserve to know they’re loved. Because boys should get to be princesses. Because people with chronic illnesses, disabilities, they should get to be part of the stories. Because white folk need to see the rest of the world as human. Folks want to see themselves in the heroes, the happiness, the successes.
Too many kids never get to see themselves on the screen or read about people who look like them.
I loved belle as a kid because she looked like me and she loved reading. I loved Ariel because she wanted to be free. I cried over encanto because I know what it’s like to be excluded, what it’s like to be the big sister. I cried over reading red white and royal blue because the gays get to live and they’re happy. Everyone should have some way to connect.
The realism bit,though, I don’t think is the consumers as a whole. Yeah, some folks prefer it, but from what I’ve seen over the last 20 years, it’s more like the people who control most popular media have decided that’s what they wanna make. I don’t care for it, tbh. Media doesn’t need to be an exact copy of the real world.
Stories are meant as a place of solace, or at least a place that is different, than your day to day.
I like stories that have soft, happy ever afters. We’ve worked through the Big Bad Thing and come out stronger for it and now we get our well deserved rest. The real world doesn’t give me those things. Other people look at the state of the world, read seriously fucked up shit, and then go, well, at least my life isn’t that. It could be worse! And this is their happy place.
So. I’m not sure I’m much help here, but tl;dr: remember the tenets of fandom:
1) kinktomato: your kink is not my kink and that is okay. (You like this, I do not, I’m gonna leave it alone, the end.)
2) DLDR: Don’t like? Don’t read. Filtering and blocking are your besties.
3) ship and let ship (or sit down) — don’t press your dislike onto the people who do like. Let ‘em alone, go find what you do like.
4) tag appropriately, read the damn tags.
5) curate your own spaces. You alone are responsible for your online existence/experiences
6) have fun. Enjoy it. Be weird. Be silly. Be fucked up. Be unrepentantly yourself. Don’t let anyone else take that away from you.
#momma talks#asks#answered asks#censorship#i am very tired its like 1 am so this is probably more incoherent than I think it is im so sorry
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ADHD is weird bc like
“Im going to take away all of your emotional permanence! Your concept of emotions will be the same as that of a baby playing peekaboo”
So you work on it. Because it’s not fun living like that! I quite like the emotional permanence, than you very much. Knowing and remembering how I feel about things is in fact, quite important to me.
BUT I FORGOT THAT TECHNICALLY SPEAKING, ATTRACTION IS A FORM OF EMOTION TOO. Do you know how annoying that is?
Imagine you’re me. Closeted. Spent years trying to figure out what I exactly I am, and after some life events finally figured out their gender. Because gender is permanent, you live with it inside of you.
But sexual and romantic orientation? That’s a force outside of you! Something that only happens through interaction with certain people! Now I figured out years ago I was asexual, and this has been a mostly unwavering piece of knowledge since. But because I don’t have the experience of finding people I barely know physically attractive, I had nothing to remind me of what romance meant to me.
I’m still entirely unsure of how other people experience romance, but I suppose I’m demiromantic. I’ve had crushes before, though few and far between, and only on people I was already close to platonically. And now, with the digital age, I’m not seeing these friends frequently enough to solidify my emotions about them. Yes, talking online is great, if it’s continual and in depth, nothing that I do with any of my in person friends. So I go through the summer, not seeing my friends because they’re back at home now. Away from university, away from me. And I miss them, I know that. The memories with them feel nice!
But by the time summer has finished I’ve created somewhat… false ideas of them in my head. False ideas of myself, too. I think of them as being different to how they actually are. Not bad, just maybe emphasising some of their traits.
And as for me? Spending the summer at home, closeted, my brother calling me gay constantly to poke fun and me having to deny it because the last time I tried coming out it really didn’t go down so well- I almost convince myself that I’m straight! I think to myself, “well, I could probably learn to love a boy. Surely there’s things about it that I wouldn’t find so terrible.” I even choose a boy to try and like. I try and imagine dates, and romance, and even, just for the sake of testing it, naked.
I try and ignore the repulsion I feel as I push the girl I definitely DONT have a crush on to the back of my mind. She and I aren’t compatible anyway. We’re too different! Plus, I feel very strongly that I would like to share things I enjoy, like baking and video games and rollercoasters, and she doesn’t like baking or rollercoasters. It’s an illogical crush, so I should ignore it and choose a logical one.
So, fast forward, and I see both parties in person. The boy, whom I invite over to bake with me, play video games with, and talk about how much we both enjoyed rollercoasters at this particular theme park. My three uncompromisables, if you will.
(I recognise that they’re quite inane things to not compromise on, but they’re important to me!)
This boy is perfect! My family all think we’re going to profess undying love for each other and get married one day, but I say goodbye and I’m left with a nauseating feeling of recognition that there is an expectation with him that there will be romance. Even if not from him, from my family.
On the other hand, I see the girl. And she’s perfect. Every imperfection about her is perfect. Beautiful. I can’t take my eyes off her, and I just know she knows I’m staring. I try and joke about it, fake flirt! Apologise a bit for the fake flirting- but I’m still transfixed. I’m angry that we aren’t alone, that there are other people around us, and I just keep staring and staring and listening to her voice and watching the way she stands. Okay, maybe that sounds a tad bit creepy. And I’m trying not to be! And we shop for some food together, and she buys instant meals. And I ask her if she likes rollercoasters, and she tells me she’s terrified of them. It’s irrational to like her! I know that the relationship probably wouldn’t work out, so it’s not worth pursuing. But by god does it feel so different to boys! It feels electric and real and brilliant and emotional.
But most of all, I’m not left with that numb nausea, the confused pleading with myself after I try and like a boy. And then it’s all followed up by some sort of hyperfixation on my sexuality like I need to know all about it and make it me again before I forget.
Of course, this post is about ADHD and I did derail a bit, but can you really blame me? Consider the subject matter. And I’ll consider my audience too. I write too much.
The tl;dr is, adhd made me forget I was a lesbian. Pretty girl reminded me.
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The ripple effect
So finally, it would seem the news from Hollywood are not good at all. A press release from SAG-AFTRA informs us that AMPTP/TPTB chose to drop the towel after a very long negotiation process (not a good sign, in my book), that continued even after their latest unacceptable offer, as you can read down below (https://x.com/sagaftra/status/1712368110253285730?s=20):
The mainstream media (always NYT, in this house) reported also on the studios' offer, which may or may not be helpful for understanding what exactly is at stake (https://www.nytimes.com/2023/10/12/business/media/actors-strike-talks-suspended.html?searchResultPosition=2):
Now that is a very hardball, completely insolent position. I am peeling my eyes in disbelief at the idea of offering 'further protections around the use of A.I.', when it was hoped that the use of A.I. would be treated as an exception, not as future reality the industry should work 'around'. This is what really is at stake, not the almost abusive allegation of 'unbearable economic burden' (that is a mafioso pretext) an 800 million USD yearly viewership bonus would supposedly entail. The real financial impact of such a compromise solution, as disclosed by SAG-AFTRA, is negligible: 'less than 57 cents/subscriber'.
And, to make things worse, it would seem the studios deliberately lied to the press, too (it would not be the first time - we shippers know it so well, eh?):
All this circus, despite a cataclysmic impact on California's economy:
(Sourced at: https://www.nytimes.com/2023/09/21/realestate/writers-strike-rent-ny-la.html).
And that was the situation three weeks ago, when I found this article and promptly set it aside, waiting for the right moment to share it with you. And you know the situation is serious, when news like these are to be found not in the business, but in the real estate section of the newspaper. Along with this kind of comments, likely to suggest the possibility of unrest, if things go on like this:
People living in their flats without electricity or sleeping in their cars: it would seem this strike added unwanted insult to the drastic COVID injury in this particular sector of the labor market.
But what interested me the most about this whole affair was the ripple effect on the British film industry, in an attempt to see what is next for OL's Season 8. Thankfully, I didn't have to go very far and speculate more than the NYT did itself. Oh, and before Mordor starts shouting insanities, their LHR's correspondent paper, back in September, is called 'Hollywood Strikes Send a Chill Through Britain’s Film Industry' (https://www.nytimes.com/2023/09/19/business/hollywood-strikes-uk-filmmaking-industry.html):
Despite my unflappable optimism, I have to say that doesn't sound good at all, especially when you know this is precisely the case for OL, a production 'with stars who are SAG-AFTRA members' (or at least compelled to stand in solidarity with the strike, by SAG-AFTRA's own statement of conduct). I predict a very late start for the shooting of Season 8. And further unrest in the UK sector 'in the middle of next year' means that UK based and staffed productions may be fewer and less important, since that calendar announced by Equity could seriously compromise their promotion, a risk not many studios are willing to take. So less alternatives for both S&C, at least for the UK alone.
The writers' strike was a very long one - five months. I suppose the studios are willing to play for time and prefer a long stalemate of the negotiations with SAG-AFTRA, in the attempt of breaking the union consensus from the inside. With people's economies gone and the prospect of a dire, uncertain way ahead, there is no way SAG-AFTRA's compensations, mainly aimed at keeping people afloat with their rent costs, could cover the real impact on its members' everyday lives, on the long run. They would also prefer to foolishly cry over a fictitious 800 million USD 'burden' and not see the (at least) six times bigger negative impact on the local economy, which translates both in net losses of profit for thousands of businesses (mainly SMEs) and thousands of lost jobs.
And in the middle of all this, it would seem that Herself is on her way to the NYCC. Whatever for, sweet summer child, I would brazenly ask this strange, diminutive woman who started it all.
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I think a lot of it (being drawn to people who remind us of other people) has to do with our human tendency for pattern recognition. For better or worse, we like to notice patterns and group things accordingly, and this ABSOLUTELY plays out in how we choose which people to spend time with! There's a sense of comfort that comes with familiarity. "Ah, I already know how to interact with this type of human." I think THIS is mostly the explanation for the very real phenomenon of people choosing partners that resemble their parents in some way (there was no need to get as weird with it as Freud did, haha). You feel like you already know what to expect! They feel like "home" in that way, but whether that is good or bad largely depends on what the prior relationship WAS. Sometimes a familiar Badness can FEEL safer than the Unknown. But anyway, we also recognize those patterns with other relationships! "I made friends with this person because they remind me of ME," or "I was attracted to this person because they remind me of this other person whom I love, and I already know that I get along with this Type of person." There's a lot said about the allure of the "new" and the whole "opposites attract" thing, which of course CAN come into play as well, but I think there's also a lot to be said about getting to know a person and sensing: "Oh. I know YOU." (The same way we know which berries are the ones safe to eat. 😂 We observe and categorize. All the time!)
This is a topic I have been fighting about with my mother for YEARS now (I literally nicknamed her Freud) and we only recently came to a sort of compromise when it comes to it and yes. Okay. I am willing to accept that my mother acts like my father's mother, my grandmother, or that my father resembles my own mother's father in certain regards, but I came up with my own romanticized view on it that works in certain cases. Sure, there must be something animalistic about it and for some it's definitely this cyclic occurrence involving generations and generations of people, but in my particular case my mother and father both managed to outgrow the circumstances of their childhoods, both financially and psychologically. (our family is nothing like the families they grew up in and I wish everyone could grow up the way I did) But I choose to believe this urge to find others similar to us or our loved ones in thought specifically can be a form of breaking the cycle. I love the way your mind works because mine or a loved ones works similarly so by "assembling" these people based on this instinct we are capable of building our own families, not entirely independent from genetics or history, but even better precisely because it is based on these things we cannot chose, but still manage to outsmart in some way. Sure. I pick you because you are familiar in some way, but what if we were dealt the same cards others before us were dealt and we did something different with them this time. Even if it's a slight change, it's still a fresh addition to the genetics of our lives because it's only a form of mutation that is capable of changing things for the better.
#i took this to another direction i think but would i be me if i didn't 🤣#stella tag#💌restless wind inside a letter box💌#i completely get your point but i am only now starting to accept it because my Everything is Intellectual I Refuse to Bow Down to Instinct#ideology from a short while back is still dragging behind me. and i only ever decided to support that ideology because i didn't wanna#admit that i function on Impulse and Instinct and Intuition primarily because well. i am a woman 'and that's what we do'#so i believed it made me somehow unfit for science
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Ambitions Story with Multiple POVs
Anonymous asked: I am trying to write a dark fantasy/cosmic horror story with a pseudo-anthology structure that is sort of like that parable about the blind men all feeling different parts of an elephant and thinking its a totally different creature. There are multiple POV characters (about 5-7) each are from very different walks of life, who the story cuts between as they all independently investigate supernatural stuff going on, each unaware of eachother and only getting a small slice of the mystery, while the reader who can see the whole picture that starts to form is able to put the pieces together to figure out what is really going on, as well as see how the actions of one character causes ripples that effect the others. I am struggling to: work out pacing of the individual revelations, avoid a gigantic cast that the reader can't keep straight (each POV character has their own supporting characters), make sure the individual stories connect (even if the characters themselves never realize it, etc.) How do I go about making this structure manageable without having to compromise on it too much?
[Ask edited for length]
I would suggest plotting out each of these POVs as though they were different stories. Then, create a timeline document and plot the major points of each plotline to see places where things might intersect. You could potentially have some of these characters cross paths--and even work together in some ways--without ever knowing the bigger connection.
As for the cast--not all of these characters need to have giant support casts. You could have a POV character who is working with one other person, for example. Or--let's say all of your POV characters are race car drivers, and they all have a pit crew, manager, etc. Consider the fact that you don't necessarily want 6 POVs telling different bus similar stories in a similar way... if all six of your POV characters are trying to make it to a particular championship race (is that even a thing?) and hopefully win the prize, you don't want to tell that same story six times following six different people. So, maybe one POV would be an old, legendary driver. One POV would be a young, green and untested driver. One POV would be the spouse of one of the drivers. One POV would be the manager of one of the drivers. One POV would be a pit crew member of one of the drivers. And, of course, these paths would all converge at the championship race. So, that way, instead of getting driver one's journey to the championship, driver two's journey to the championship, driver three's journey to the championship... all of which are going to look more or less the same, now you're getting these vastly different perspectives. Because the spouse of a driver can still tell the story of the driver's journey to the championship, but it's a different view of the story than the driver themselves, so it makes things more interesting. This also helps cut down on supporting cast, or at the very least creates variation so your reader doesn't have to remember six different drivers, six different managers, six different pit crews, six different spouses/significant others, etc.
I hope that helps!
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Hey there! I’d love to do a romantic TWST matchup exchange if you’re open to it! You can send your info my way and I’ll have a matchup ready for you ASAP! If not, no worries at all!
Here’s my info:
General: I’m a triple a: Asexual, Aromatic, and Agender (they/them). I love doing these little requests to see who would be interested in me though, I can’t explain it hehe.
Personality: I am blunt and humorous. I tend to say and do as I please, and although it is rarely to the detriment of someone else, I can be apathetic and uncaring towards people I dislike. I tend to put others’ needs above my own. I'll talk for hours about my interests and passions, and I'm always up for a challenge. I also have a very strong moral compass, and I refuse to compromise on it. I try to be kind above all else, especially to those who seem to be in a rough place, as I haven’t always been treated kindly, and I want others to feel loved. Despite that, I can dislike someone immensely for even the smallest mistakes, and I hold on to grudges for a very long time. It’s very easy to notice when I don’t like someone. I have a bad habit of being nosy; I have to know all the gossip and if I’m interested in something I tend to find out all of the information I can about it. In a similar vein, I’m really bad at keeping secrets, as I often forget they’re supposed to be secrets at all. I’m hedonistic, and I tend to overindulge in my loves and passions due to my lack of self controll to the point that it often causes me harm. I’m known for giving great advice and being a good shoulder to cry on, but I don’t let others take advantage of that. I do well in emergency situations, especially when leadership is needed, but I also tend to crumble under mounting stress, and lash out when upset. Overall I'm determined, creative, and compassionate, but also stubborn, judgmental, and fearful.
Likes: I love horror media and anything deemed unsettling, since things that make me uncomfortable fascinate me. I love animals (especially tarantulas and spiders) and nature, and I spend a lot of time drawing and painting the world around me and taking walks on sunny days. On that note, I’m an explorer, and I tend to get into spaces I shouldn’t be if only because my curiosity got the better of me. I enjoy composing, playing, and listening to music, especially instrumentals, rock, and soundtracks. I also play video games, especially RPGs and FPS games. Although I don’t like athletics and sports that much, climbing, running, and adventuring is always fun for me, especially with friends.
Dislikes: Inconsiderate people, especially when they’re not aware of how they’re inconveniencing others. People who can’t enjoy silence and talk to fill it tend to get on my nerves as well. I also dislike those who are arrogant and cruel, and I have a particular distaste for seafood and being touched, although I am definitely a tactile person towards others.
What I look for in a partner: Someone who is kind and understanding of my flaws, and especially someone with a good sense of humor. I feel like I don’t truly connect with people until we laugh about something together. I value honesty and communication as well, so someone who isn’t willing or can’t be open and vulnerable with me is a no go. As pessimistic as I am, I also believe in doing good and making other people’s days a little bit brighter if possible, so I couldn’t be around a cynic or someone intentionally cruel. I love giving gifts and providing words of affirmation, and I love receiving both as well.
Fun Facts: I like to read medical textbooks, and I find visiting cadaver labs and watching medical procedures thrilling. I’m double jointed in almost every one of my fingers and in my wrists, which makes me pretty adept at playing musical instruments that require hand movements.
Thanks again for your time, and have a wonderful day and/or night!
I'd love to do an exchange! I'll def send a request over after this!
I think your best match would be Lilia!
You and Lilia have a lot in common, and I do mean a lot. Your personalities are very similar, but you're also just different enough to keep it interesting. One of the biggest differences is that Lilia is a lot better at hiding his disdain for others, so it'd much harder to know if he truly dislikes someone or not. However, he's still very petty, and he's not above playing tricks on those he thinks deserves it, so if he knows you don't like someone, they'll be his next targets. He's also very blunt, but he hides it behind his playfulness, so it's hard to tell whether or not he's joking.
Lilia is also very kind. He cares a lot for those he considers family, such as Malleus, Silver, and Sebek, and it's clear he has an easy time making friends as seen with Kalim and Cater. He's a very nurturing figure, and his maturity makes him a good person to receive advice from. For how silly he tends to be, he can give genuinely good advice if he thinks the situation calls for it.
If you ever want to know the latest gossip, Lilia is your guy as well. He has ears all over the school, and he knows everything about everyone. He's definitely your best bet if you ever need dirt on someone. Lilia also has no problem sharing what he knows as long as there's no major harm done to anyone involved. If it's a secret that could genuinely cause harm to someone, he's less inclined to share, but secrets that crazy rarely pop up, so he has infinite amounts of gossip to share.
Sometimes, Lilia can be hedonistic as well, but he's learned how to control it for the most part. This mostly comes out in the pranks that he pulls on others, as he finds it funny to mildly spook and/or inconvenience someone. Still, he's learned to hold himself back, and he'll help you do the same if you want him to. He won't force you to let him help if you're not in the mood for it, but if you ever ask, he's more than willing.
One of his biggest strengths is that he used to be a war general, so Lilia is fantastic under pressure. If he sees you taking on too much at once, he'll definitely help to lighten the load. He's caring by nature, and he'd hate to see any of his loved ones crack under severe stress. He's had to do the same for Malleus, Silver, and Sebek before, so helping you is no problem to him. He's also good at dealing with you lashing out, as he's not one to take it personally if you do or say something mean in a time of stress. He knows when you're being genuine and when you're just lashing out, so he doesn't take any of it personally.
In terms of likes, you and Lilia have basically all the same hobbies. He is also a fan of the spooky and uncomfortable, and he has a plethora of weird grindhouse films to show you if you'd ever want to have a marathon. Lilia has also quite literally travelled the world, so exploring is his favorite thing. He has many tales to share about the many lands he's explored, and he would be more than happy to take you to any of them. The two of you can also write music together, and the music club would definitely welcome you with open arms. Maybe you can convince them to actually play during practice instead of goofing off the whole time.
As for your dislikes, I don't see Lilia being a problem. He is very aware of the people around him, and while he certainly loves playing pranks, he knows not to take it too far. He's also much different from when he was a general, but even back then, he was never cruel, especially compared to others involved in the war. While he does like physical touch a lot, he also respects boundaries, and he'd do anything to make you comfortable. If you don't want him to touch you, he won't.
So, overall, Lilia is quite the fit for your type. He is very kind and understanding, and he would never fault you for any of your flaws. Of course, he would push you to be your best self, as that's what he wants for all of his favorite people, but he would never push you past your limits. He has a great sense of humor with a wide variety of jokes. He's very good at matching his humor to the people around him. With how long he's been alive, Lilia has no time for miscommunication or beating around the bush. He is very open about his feelings, and he's very blunt about his thoughts. He would never lie to or mislead you, and he speaks with you openly and genuinely. Lilia may have been a bit of a cynic at one point, but after raise Malleus and Silver, that's definitely changed him. he's a very bright and fun-loving person, and he's the optimist everyone needs in their life. His love language is gift giving, as he always makes sure to grab souvenirs for everyone when he travels somewhere. His favorite receiving love language is quality time, as he loves to just enjoy the company of those he loves most.
Rules for matchups
#matchups#twisted wonderland matchups#lilia vanrouge#twisted wonderland#twst#twst x reader#lilia vanrouge x reader
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