#i will not be able to emotionally handle the next episodes

[rainrot4me]

They're not exactly the optimal choice for comfort, but how would the creeps treat their partner during a depressive episode?

✦ . jeff the killer

Jeff isn’t emotionally articulate, but when he notices you’ve gone quiet—no sarcastic jabs, no fire in your eyes—he knows something’s wrong.

He handles it like a feral dog trying to help its wounded owner: awkward, growly, but loyal.

“You wanna smash something? I’ll get the plates.” He offers distraction first through mayhem, violence, even a fight with him if it wakes you up. Any reaction is a good reaction in his book it means you’ll stop drowning in your own feelings.

“I’ll kill whatever’s doing this to you. Even if it’s yourself… kidding.”

But when none of that works, he gets quiet. You’ll feel him lie next to you, not saying anything, just breathing with you. Eventually you’ll feel a hand slip into yours, calloused and warm, but firm.

✦ . ticci toby

Toby struggles with his own inner noise constantly, so he understands when yours gets too loud or too heavy. It’s not pity he feels, but understanding and compassion.

He doesn’t try to fix it, he just stays. He talks to fill the silence if you want, or matches your quiet if that’s better. He’s not there to problem solve, he knows that’s not what you need, he’s just there for you and only you.

He makes you tea even though it usually spills a bit from his tremors, offers you his hoodie like a bandage, and plays with your hair to take your mind off of things.

“You don’t gotta talk. I get it. Just… stay. I’m here. We c-can rot together for a bit.”

Tears start rolling down your face? He’s wiping them away before they can even fall.

✦ . eyeless jack

Jack notices the changes slowly at first—missed meals, unwashed clothes, blank stares. He knows how the human anatomy works up and down, but emotions are where he gets stumped sometimes. It takes a minute, but enough observing makes him realize.

It clicks: you’re drowning.

He sets a gentle routine: food you like, dimmed lights, warm baths he quietly prepares. He won’t push, but he’ll gently coddle you into doing the things he knows will get you back into your routine without overwhelming you.

“You’re not broken. You’re just tired. Let me carry you until you can stand again.”

He’ll read to you in a soft voice, cuddle you into his lap, and massage your hands. He may not be able to verbalize anything, but he’ll let his body language do the work.

✦ . masky (tim wright)

Tim sees your mask slipping because he knows what it’s like to wear one. He understands the emotional strain that comes with excessive work-load and constant pressure, so it’s no question of whether he’ll help you or not, because he’s already on it.

He doesn’t smother you with comfort, he sits beside you, steady, anchoring. He doesn’t interrogate you or add any more strain to the situation, he just tries to silently evaluate how to handle where you’re at.

When you finally break and cry or lash out, he lets you. His voice stays low, steady, and real. If you’re angry, he listens, if you’re sad, he listens, if you don’t want him around, he still listens.

“I’ve been here. I’m not leaving. Even if all you do is sit and breathe.”

He’ll clean up the messes you forget about—laundry, dishes—all without a word. Just to help, just to lighten your load.

✦ . hoody (brian thomas)

Brian’s comfort is quiet and intuitive. He knows how to take up space with you, not for you Talking is never his strong suit, he gets caught up on words and feelings and loses his track of thought, so he helps you the way he knows best.

He’ll write notes and stick them where you’ll see them:

“You’re still mine. You’re still worth it.”

“Bad days don’t cancel good love.”

When you spiral, he brings his laptop into bed and pulls you against him, lets you sleep in his hoodie while old movies play. He has a folder with your name on it, specifically full of your favorite movies he pirated off the internet.

“We’re allowed to be human. Even you.”

✦ . ben drowned

Ben is digital mesh in human wrapping, but when he senses your world is drooping, he becomes something oddly tender. When it comes to emotions, he’s the worst out of everyone, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how to simmer down and offer comfort.

He’ll bring you into his world (games, stories, music) to distract you gently, but meaningfully. He knows all of your favorites, and makes it a point to show that you’ll always have the things you love to fall back on.

“Just take a minute, yeah? You don’t gotta prove nothing to nobody, just take it easy.”

If you disappear under the covers, he’ll slip his handheld console in beside you, loaded with Stardew Valley or Animal Crossing. He lets you talk through the characters if words are too hard. To make you laugh, he’ll slip into the game and mess with your avatar until you’re smiling again.

✦ . clockwork

Natalie tries so hard to be strong for you—but she’s scared of saying the wrong thing.

She’ll try tough love at first:

“You’re stronger than this. Come on.” She’s never been given love unless earned, so she doesn’t understand when she tries to motivate you to keep moving, why you keep sinking in on yourself.

But when she sees your lip tremble? It breaks her. She doesn’t mean it in a demeaning way, but loving someone means learning new perspectives, so she tries differently.

“Let me take care of you. Just for a bit. Please.”

She wraps her arms around you and just holds on. She’ll braid your hair or wash your face, little caring rituals with nervous hands. Being soft is foreign, but when the thing that seems to lighten you up the most is just laying in bed with her, she’ll get over herself.

✦ . laughing jack

At first, he’ll try to joke it off. Clown instincts, y’know. Anything to make you smile.

But when that fails, and you look at him with hollow eyes, he deflates. He’ll chew his lips and wrack his brain for anything, but finds that you don’t need him to entertain you, you just want him there. It’s surprising to him, but being with you in general is a new world of being wanted for more than performances.

He becomes surprisingly gentle, tucking you in under garish patchwork blankets and offering candy in your favorite flavors. He’ll offer to make you sleepy, waving his claws in your face until your eyes gently flutter closed on their own, singing soft lullabies as he drifts you to sleep.

“Ah… okay. No balloon animals today. That’s alright.”

He’ll tamper your dreams. Give you nothing but soft clouds, flower fields, sweet-smelling fruits, and everything you love. The dreamscape is where he works best, so he’ll make sure it’s the best for you, too.

✦ . slenderman

He doesn’t speak comfort—he emanates it. He’s a master manipulator of body and world, so why would he hold that power back when you obviously need it the most.

When your depression is heavy, world grows quieter, the temperature of your room warmer, the scents of your bedsheets sweeter. He adjusts the world around you, making everything as comfortable and relaxing as possible. It’s almost like being caught in a daydream.

He lifts your chin with long fingers, studying your face like scripture. Whatever you desire, he’ll grant it without a question, there’s nothing too-much.

“You are not a burden. You are human. It’s natural.”

You may wake to roses on your pillow, or find entire memories of pain erased and rewritten. It’s his way of giving you peace. Not human, but he tries. Somehow all the cruelness he holds slips away with you.

꩜ .ᐟ

[multifandom-madne55]

Sorry I just need to type this out because it feels so perfect if this was the intention. Baseball represents conformity… but what about our most iconic Stranger Things baseball bat?

Let’s talk about this particular bat’s journey, shall we?

Our first scene with the bat is when Nancy is practicing to attack the Demogorgon in her garage. At this point in the story, the bat is still a regular baseball bat. Steve comes over and Nancy is still emotionally invested in him. She has not quite realized she is on the path of conformity. She pushes him away here, though. She has plans with Jonathan to find the monster, so she takes a rain check at the invitation to go to the movies under the guise of Will’s funeral and Mike. I would argue this is at the beginning of the bat’s transformation.

The bat was originally meant to be wielded by Nancy. The revolver was also supposed to be Jonathan’s weapon. However, upon learning that Nancy’s a sharpshooter, Nancy takes the revolver and Jonathan takes the bat. They have swapped roles. This is when she’s finally begun not to conform. Nancy has taken the more “masculine,” powerful role in this relationship. She wields the stronger weapon and thus takes the lead in their relationship. During this scene we learn that Nancy believes her parents to be the image of conformity, detesting the idea of ever becoming them.

While wandering through the woods, the two have an argument in which Nancy finally has to confront that she is conforming just as much as her parents did at her age. She’s no different and she needs to realize that she and Steve are the image of Ted and Karen. The bat remains in Jonathan’s hands.

The two once more swap roles upon finding the dying deer. The two decide to put the animal out of its misery, but it’s too much for Nancy to handle and thus Jonathan offers to do it himself. They swap weapons once more. You could interpret it two ways:

Their willingness to swap their roles fluidly offers more to the idea of nonconformity. They are not concrete in the roles they choose, unlike the societally acceptable dynamics of the time. Men and women had concrete gender roles and were expected to follow them, whereas Jonathan and Nancy are able to go against that norm and be what role is needed depending on the situation.

Jancy are willing to do what the other needs from them and are already complementing each other from Season 1. Jancy endgame.

After this scene Nancy and Jonathan split up, with Nancy discovering a small gate to the Upside Down. She leaves the bat and her belongings outside the gate. I would like to say that her going to the Upside Down is quite literal for her character and for the baseball bat. Their identities are changed after this. Nancy from this point forward becomes incredibly tactical and combative. She goes shopping for weapons with Jonathan, definitely going against the norm. Her form does not change, she remains herself, preppy and kind, but now she has spikes. In her next scene with Steve she’s angry, she’s pushing him away and recognizing him for what he is. She could have been submissive to Steve’s actions, but the first thing she does is slap him and assert herself. She is no longer conforming.

While we do not see the baseball bat for the rest of the episode or in the following episode, we do see it again in the finale.

Here we see the baseball bat change into our easily recognizable icon. Together, Jancy decides to kill the Demogorgon and hatches a plan to do so. They set everything up in the Byers’ home and during these preparations we see Jonathan modify the baseball bat. He hammers nails into the head of the bat and it transforms almost to match Nancy. Baseball bats are a blunt object, but by adding the nails, Jonathan has flipped the baseball bat’s identity Upside Down, transforming it into a sharp object. It can be argued it’s both blunt and sharp, and maybe it proves the point I am trying to make further by viewing it that way. Jonathan is meant to wield this weapon once more, but Steve enters the ring and wields it instead (more on that later).

By the finale you’re almost certain that Jancy will happen (if not now then later). Jancy is a heterosexual relationship, but it is not heteronormative. To me, that’s what the bat represents. The bat is conformity, the norm and heterosexuality, but the spikes represent non-comforming and non-heteronormative behavior. In Jancy’s relationship, Nancy typically takes the lead and continues to be the one who wields a gun. Jonathan remains the more sensitive of the two and the one who wields no weapons (you could argue the axe in Season 3, but even then Lucas takes control of that). The behavior of Jonathan and Nancy in their relationship as stated prior, is not conforming to the norms of the time despite being a heterosexual relationship.

Now, what happens to the bat after the events of Season 1? Steve continues to be the one who wields it, which is very important to his character development. He’s becoming nonconformist as well, especially with his blossoming friendship with the kids and his new role as “babysitter,” a job that is considered feminine. During his time holding the bat, I would also like to mention he most certainly became more accepting of people different from him and even befriends them. He went from calling Jonathan Byers a queer derogatorily in Season 1 to being supportive and accepting of Robin’s sexuality in Season 3. He learns that popularity is not important despite what societal pressures and expectations exist. It’s almost like the bat being in his possession helped to facilitate his growth.

After Season 2 we have yet to see the bat again, but an honorable mention would also be Max, a nonconformist tomboy, wielding the bat. She does this to defend her nerdy, outcast friends and her love interest: Lucas. Max and Lucas are another heterosexual relationship, except they also defy norms for being an interracial relationship in a time period where it was still not as acceptable.

TL;DR: the spiked baseball bat is a symbol of nonconformity/norms of the time being flipped Upside Down/on their heads as opposed to baseball in general representing conformity. It transformed in Season 1 with Jancy to become this symbol and in Season 2 facilitated growth/was wielded by characters who didn’t conform.

Hope you guys enjoyed this post please don’t let it flop 😭

[the-au-collector]

Central Room Part 4: THOUGHTS

Eeeeeeeeeeejefhgjsowodjfbfnd I have been wondering when the next update would be and HERE IT IS

Legend calm down

I love Legend’s face here and also reminds me of something @runecatwrites said about Hyrule being paired with Legend. In that, Legend is emotionally unstable and needs Hyrule to be there because Hyrule can handle himself (pls go look at their post they put it much more eloquently).

Legend really said :/ here

Yup they’re going to be just fine. Gotta love the two of them being able to pick on Legend’s rabbit form (though maybe don’t do it so close to Legend, rabbits can be vicious)

Ah gotta love Wild going to Team Dad for help with his issues with Wars.

But Wild, honey. Maybe you should go communicate with Warriors too

They are BROTHERS

I gotta love how everyone is just kind of messing with each other this time around. Although for some reason I’m feeling like Wars and Legend are in for a rough time.

Although, since they’re the only two getting picked on this episode, I feel like there’s conflict coming for them.

I love everyone getting ready to explore. AND THE LANTERNS ARE BEAUTIFUL AND HEY WE KNOW HYRULE HAS HIS CANDLE

He is so worried guys

Credit to @linkeduniverse like always!

[dearmyloveleys]

Weak Hero Class 2 : A show that hits you hard into a coma — only if you love Season 1 and Yeon Sieun. Otherwise, it's only decent (compared to WHC1).

An honest review of S2's story and writing from someone who loves WHC1

I love S1 as much as the next person (I sure hope my neighbour fuckin watched WHC1). WHC1 is just about perfect in every aspect of film making and script. While still decently directed and written, WHC2 loses much of the quiet ambiance and nuance that made WHC1 all the more poignant, as a show under the action genre. Poignant and action don’t come together often in one sentence, which is why WHC1 stole the limelight for me. WHC1 holds the most mind-boggling balance of emotions, plot, action and characters in its harsh grip.

WHC2 is really loud when it it’s loud, and doesn’t come back down to the level of rumination that makes audiences think on their own part, staring at the black screen of their device and to be emotionally affected, aka screaming crying throwing up, compared to WHC1. There’s quite a bit of telling and not showing, which makes WHC2 lose out on the charm that WHC1 had.

Fight/action choreography:

S1 is amazing. Had me on the edge of my seat. Engaging. What really hooked me about the fight choreography in S1 is that it tells a story about the character in and itself. A good fight sequence should always be able to let the audience in on more of how the character thinks and acts — How Sieun uses his surroundings as an advantage, How Suho is not only adept at martial arts, but also quick to think on his feet. How even the thug Gilsoo fights with savagery and brute strength. WHC1 found nuance in its fight choreography with characterisation.

Though the action scenes in S2 are visually stunning, and I love Sieun’s fight with Seongje on the roof (top 10 action scenes in my life in a series) there’s a point where there’s just a lot of flashbang and no real innate story like a lot of action shows out there. The fights don’t strike the balance of character and action as well as WHC1 do especially with the new characters.

They nearly achieve it with Baku and Baekjin in the finale fight — but unfortunately, we don’t spend just enough time with the duo as kids to understand why they fell out to empathise enough, just why they fight the way they do.

Gotak’s taekwondo style fighting wasn’t shown enough, and neither were his backstory and motivations. This severely bumped down the interest I had in his action sequences.

I must say, I severely enjoy Juntae’s fight scenes. He reminds me so much of Sieun and the juxtaposition of his cuddly character with his tenacity tells a very compelling character story. I am very interested in his backstory, which we don’t get. S3 perhaps?

Character writing and handling:

Everything they do with Sieun in WHC2 — perfect. Yum. Angst. Trauma. How he fights. How he lets the Eunjang Gang in. Which is why I say in my header that WHC2 hits hard only if you love WHC1 and are watching it for Sieun, because we already know well what are Sieun's motivations and feelings. If I were a webtoon fan or just watching S2 as a story on its own, characterisation and development of the new cast fall a tad bit short.

Not going into specifics, but I do wish they extended S2 into 10 episodes, just to get us to understand the new cast better. In S1, we are brought along the ride in real time on how Suho works at a barbecue restaurant part time, how Beomseok suffers from abuse and how Sieun feels so empty + dislikes his parents. In S2, much of what we know about the Eunjang Gang + antagonists are told to us via exposition and dialogue. Telling and not showing is a very big no no in writing circles, as it alienates the audience. Even if there are scenes that give us a glimpse into who they are, it’s not enough and I’m left blinking: you are like my papa

Juntae’s school room with his weeb friends and his iPad wallpaper — amazing, I want more. Why is there only a 5min long scene of that?

Hyuntak’s accident with his knee and Baku going ballistic about it — uh, I want more..? Can I? Please? Don’t give me exposition.

The writers were almost good with how they handled Baku and his relationship with Baekjin. They clearly spent the most effort and time fleshing them out. Baku is the most compelling character this season with all the scenes with his father, the Union and Baekjin. But still, it’s not enough. If I were the writer, I would have dedicated an entire episode detailing Baku's life and he will the character we follow the entire episode. We'll get to know his childhood with Baekjin, how they fallout, how he meets Gotak, a fight scene of him going out against the Union, how Gotak got his knee injured etc, right up till the present timeline.

Given more time, Baku and Baekjin's backstory would have formed a very strong literary foil against Suho and Sieun's history, as both pairs clearly have guilt and trauma from violence. Furthermore, one of the pair taught the other how to fight.

I really would have loved a morally grey antagonist which they shaped Baekjin up to be, but we don’t get anything more than his scene at the orphanage. Then he dies. (Am I just a view to you, writers?)

Lastly, the writers seem to be confused about who is the real protagonist of the season - Sieun or Baku. The writers want to build on both, but the focus becomes convoluted and it messes up the story pacing.

Story pacing (my largest gripe with WHC2):

WHC1 have the same 8 episodes duration and somehow manage to have no extraneous/unneeded scenes. Nothing more or nothing less. Every scene is impactful and matters to either the plot or characters. Right at the midway point of Ep4, WHC1 changes its arc from an external antagonist (Gilsoo) to an internal antagonist (Beomseok and Co).

WHC2 is a little confused with its pace; sometimes dawdling, sometimes fast. I found myself watching along at some scenes only because Sieun was there. Characters entered and left scenes whenever they liked, as though the writers weren't sure what to do to start or end the scene with purpose.

WHC2's quiet scenes don't hit as hard as WHC1's. The lack of in-depth characterisation for the new cast and too much needed world-building in a short span is the cause. WHC1 spent a lot of time only with Suho, Sieun and Beomseok + their antagonists, while WHC2 is rushing to explain all about the Union, the Eunjang Boys and Sieun's continuing trauma. Hence, when they go all quiet and accompany each other, there's not much emotional attachment going around. Imo, a 10 episode season is really needed for an improvement in the pacing and writing, which will make their quiet moments hit harder.

This is even a harsh comment for my standards (because I genuinely love Suho and Sieun's relationship): If the writers wanted to keep to 8 episodes, they should have removed some scenes of Sieun with Suho/reminiscing about Suho. Ultimately, there isn't enough pay-off for all the pining Sieun does and the ending is still the same (Suho returns for 3 minutes in the last episode). Removing one or two scenes would have greatly improved the focus and cohesion of other active characters who matter more in determining the finale of WHC2. Definitely a fair bit of fanservice going on.

Overall comments:

I won't say WHC2 is the worst. On its own, it's fun. It definitely does a more than decent job at reconciling WHC1 with new characters and plot of WHC2. The action scenes are its best features, which is a bummer for me, as the characters were the stars of WHC1. But we're comparing to WHC1 here — WHC1 is unbearably gentle where it needs to be and achingly harsh where it needs to be. Many aspects are concise but well developed at the same time. As a writer and someone who loves films/tv series, I find that WHC1 is truly a masterclass in nuance and writing, especially in the action genre. WHC2 unfortunately, isn't able replicate the delicate balance that WHC1 achieved with the story's highs and lows.

[bengiyo]

Ben’s Big BL Blurb 2: Fall is Finally Here

I am simply too busy with worth, family, other hobbies, and life to write about every show in real time anymore. I’m sorry to all the Stray Thoughts readers who’ve reached out about whether I would pick that back up, and I simply just do not have the time to do them anymore. Instead, I’ll try to do one of these as often as I can to catch up on things.

First, let’s go over some shows I finished recently that I don’t think I wrote much about.

First Note of Love

I was so happy to see Michael back on screen, and I was glad to see that he’s still able to get great chemistry with his co-star. Unfortunately, I don’t think this show was very coherent, so I didn’t get a lot out of it emotionally. It was a pretty inoffensive watch overall, and thus an easy show to put on without having to work through too much. I liked the work between everyone, and Mei Lei was such a fun character. Probably won’t return to this one, though. 

Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo

This is probably the show of the year for me. There’s so much I loved about this show. I loved that the characters had sex, but were neither rewarded nor punished for it; their sex didn’t solve any problems. I also really love how this show explored how childhood trauma expresses in two different kinds of boys, and I love that we got to see a bully reckon with his actions and get closure. I love that this show ended with them being kinda poor, but happy together. I love how messed up they both were about everything. I loved that Juyeong wasn’t stupid, and could read what was going on.

I clearly need to write a separate post to unpack everything I felt in this show.

Let’s move on to what I’m watching currently, in no particular order…starting with the lesbians, and then the worst BLs.

Apple My Love

Genuinely having fun with this GL. I like how quickly most of the drama plays out. It’s giving me quite a bit of secondhand embarrassment, but I like the characterizations in this show. This new production house brought us Knock Knock, Boys! and Monster Next Door this year. We need to keep an eyes on them. 

Haunted Hearts

I’m so fascinated by Oxin Films teaming up with Regal Entertainment. The leads are very attractive, but the cinematography is really boring. I’m trying to stay invested, but it’s kind of a sleepy watch. Also amused that they started airing a ghost romance right after Halloween ended. I’ve kind of moved on emotionally from the season.

My Damn Business

This show could be good, but it’s not. I struggled with episode 5 because our lead looked more relaxed and happier with his senior than the guy he’s getting into a romance with. There’s something missing here in this one, but I can’t exactly put my finger on it. I think it’s primarily a side effect of the short run time, but I think the boss’s interest isn’t landing properly for the employee to respond to. 

Eccentric Romance

This show could be good, but it’s not. Still, I am obsessed with a murder mystery being the primary source of confusion between our leads. I was willing to forgive this show a lot of its rough edges, but it failed to handle the turn from friendship to sexual/romance really well. I feel like our guys just started dating and having sex, and I’m a bit frustrated that they didn’t talk about it really at all, particularly since this show features two different languages spoken on screen. Genuinely looking forward to seeing how this one finishes. 

See Your Love

I’m not sure this show is exactly working that well, but everyone is very pretty and I’m having a decent time watching it. I like the way Shao Peng stands up for himself, and I like that nothing that’s happened has been totally unbelievable or unreasonable (at least with the mains). I’ll be curious how the hard of hearing and deaf viewers respond to this one once it’s complete. 

Love is Like a Poison

This show is actually so funny. I love that Shiba is in his own lawyer genre separate from everyone else, and I really like how the two of these guys have become a team. I’m curious how they manage to resolve the scamming next week, but this has been the most unexpected dynamic of the year. 

Love in the Air: Koi no Yukon

MAME won this year, y’all. We all have complicated feelings about her, but she’s secured a loving adaptation from a Japanese team that’s put solid effort into bringing her characters to life. Every character feels correct compared to their Thai counterpart we saw on screen, and that’s a strong sign that the writing behind MAME’s work is strong, even if we all have issues with the way she tackles certain themes. I’m really impressed with this adaptation, and really like this version of Rain.I also feel like this show is doing a better job blending the forthcoming couple focus shift.

Our Youth

We just got this show, but damn does it feel sharp! I’m always going to be a sucker for a cinephile character, and I’m so compelled by the way Minase is drawn to Hirukawa. The scene in episode 2 where Minase has to leave Hirukawa’s house might be one of the most impressive sequences we’ve had in a while, requiring a great deal of choreography and effort from the actors and the camera crew to pull off, and I’m excited to see how these characters split and then come back together. 

Smells Like Green Spirit

Let me just say that I need another Abe Alan appearance when he isn’t playing a character doing horrible things to his students. I’ve enjoyed meditating on the 90s with this show and what that era felt like. I’ve liked how the show has tried to focus on how different parents (especially the moms) have responded to their kids coming to terms with themselves. I’ve also really enjoyed the friendship that’s grown between Mishima and Kirino. I’m struggling with Yumeno a lot, because I’m really not a friend of bully romances. Still, I feel like this is one of those shows I’ll remember for a long time because of its focus on the 90s. 

Blue Canvas of Youthful Days

I think @lurkingshan covered reactions to episode 5 and episode 6 better than I could, and I loved @twig-tea giving context for the film history moment in episode 6. I remember screaming into the chat for friends to show up for this when I got to that moment. This show has two great pairs of dynamics going on that mirror well. It’s got such a strong handle on its characters’ motivations and how they would respond to the actions from each other. It’s probably the tightest thing I’m watching now, backed by extremely dialed-in performances. I will be thinking about Qi Lu organizing his potential first kiss with Qin Xiao, and how unapologetic he’s been about the entire affair. He’s being selfish here, but I kinda like it. I’m so thankful that we are somehow still getting this show, because goddamn do the Chinese actors deliver on chemistry sometimes.

Interview With the Vampire Season 2

I finished this with a friend last week, and holy fuck is this show still so, so good. We watch a lot of gay romance because of BL, and I am having so much fun watching the show about gay divorce. I loved the time we spent in Paris, Daniel’s shifting role in the narrative, and the new insights we got into Lestat this season. I will miss Claudia so much, and I have to give a standing ovation to Delainey Hayles stepping into the role of Claudia and doing the damn thing this season. I just love seeing my little fucked up gay people torment each other on screen.

I'm still thinking about Louis and Lestat reuniting in a hurricane after Claudia derided this as yet another chapter in their stormy romance.

Dropped Shows

Unfortunately, everyone can’t win. Some of these shows are just too long for me to keep up with them, and oftentimes I get bored. I’ve currently dropped:

Lovesick 2024 - I may go back. We’ll see

Jack & Joker - It’s just too long, and they just killed Jennie and a kid. I’m good.

Fourever You - I’m bored with Earth always playing this character type.

Pluto - Namtam and Film are beautiful, but this looks too messy right now.

Every You, Every Me - Wasn’t intrigued after episode 1, but the commentary may draw me back.

Kidnap - Ohm is not enough to keep me invested in this show. 

Uncle Unknown - How did they make a 6 minute show feel slow?

I’m genuinely not trying to be harsh to Thai shows out here, but I just do not have the time to keep up with all of them when they’re this long and dragging.

Thanks for stopping by, and let me know if there’s something I missed that I should check out.

[kafus]

ever since liko lost in her battle against chili back in HZ056 i've been pretty passionate about wanting liko to win her future battle against grusha, partially because i just love her and want to see her win after such a heart-wrenching defeat, but also because i thought it would be good character writing - she loses, but learns to be passionate about battling in the process, and then she can apply that to her next major fight and win as a result. that was my thought process.

as HZ063 drew closer however, i started feeling like that maybe isn't what would happen - the way episodes have panned out, she hasn't really had any major battle training since her loss against chili (her joining roy with "awesome training" does not count LOL), and that massive cetitan and the type disadvantage started to really loom over the whole thing. but i still wasn't sure and by the time HZ063 came out this weekend, i genuinely had no clue what to expect, i just hoped the character writing payoff would be good, win or lose.

AND IT WAS!!! thank fucking god i love liko so much i need more really good liko episodes. i'm eating this up

first off: liko REALLY shows off what she learned from battling chili. honestly an absolute treat to watch. her level of increased confidence and focus honestly made me feel spoiled as a fan. never once did she take her eyes off the battle, she was not distracted by grusha being a hardass, and she's able to think through being pinned into a corner to turn the tides despite the odds stacked against her.

everything from the strategic switch to tebrim, to firing off magical leaf into huljukira's mouth, to grabbing tyltalis by the tail/feet... she's actually a really crafty and thoughtful battler when she sets her mind to it, which makes sense because her battle preferences are more to do with her mind than raw strength. even roy remarks "nice control" because she has notable precise control over her pokemon's actions. point is the payoff for her character development in her battle against chili was still present... despite her loss.

and man does this loss sting like a bitch after watching her perform so well... AND on top of that grusha is a complete asshole about it. like UGH it just hurts to watch. and frankly there's no excuse as someone in grusha's position to be treating students that way... but there is a reason. and the reason makes this episode super fucking interesting. i really like how it was handled, actually.

pretty much directly after a scene where grusha interrupts the trio having fun sledding with the arukujira, we're presented with grusha's backstory about why and how he quit snowboarding. the writing is essentially saying, here's grusha being a no-fun, shitty person, and here's why he's like that. (notably, the trio was doing something similar to snowboarding and had to dodge being injured themselves...)

what's important, though, is that we also find out that grusha didn't quit snowboarding because he was too seriously injured to ever do it again, just that it would be harder for him to achieve the same results he used to. he made a conscious, emotionally fueled decision to quit, because like the man says: he's harsh on everyone, himself included.

at this point, he is basically the opposite of liko, and to the general themes of most stories in pokemon. he is not an incredible pokemon trainer because of passion, in fact he only became a trainer after his snowboarding accident just so he'd have something to succeed at again. he is not an incredible pokemon trainer because of friends or adventure or any other reason than a desperation to reach the same artificial "success" heights that he did before his accident. not to say that he's inhuman - forgiving the arukujira that caused his injury, patting it on the head, and becoming its trainer, signals a sense of personal guilt over the situation, and the arukujira in question obviously likes him despite his behavior. but it's a very strong contrast to what liko learned in HZ056, with being connected with her pokemon through battle, and enjoying fighting tough opponents even though she could lose.

and it's important to note that even as far back as HZ056 itself, grusha was framed as a contrast to liko. he approaches her and his coldness (no pun intended) immediately slices into the atmosphere of the scene and liko's improved mood, and he implies that liko is weak for being happy after losing, because all he personally cares about is winning and being on top.

all of this is to say that grusha is in the wrong to fail liko, he's in the wrong to talk down to her the way that he does. and this is made clear by the writing! when liko loses and grows from it, grusha's there to say something negative about it. when liko is having fun with her pokemon and her friends, he sarcastically remarks that she must be "pretty confident" if she has time to "goof off." the man in the gym says that he could have kept snowboarding, but he quit, as opposed to liko who gets back up again. everyone thinks he's harsh and offputting.

and at the end when grusha fails her, even dot and roy are like, no, maybe he'll pass you or give you a second chance! because they (rightly) experienced those things and were able to grow from those experiences, so surely the same would be the case for liko? but no! and it's a shock to everyone!

the sound effect paired with liko's surprised face clearly indicates that this is supposed to shock the viewer just as much as it shocks liko and her friends.

and her friends are so surprised that they even try to argue with grusha about it!! it is unfair and wrong! and that's so fucking interesting!!! grusha is a flawed adult character, he's not part of the explorers but he's still treating liko wrongly as opposed to with the support that most of the adults in her life have given her, and he has a reason which makes him compelling, but not an excuse. for the type of show this is i am continually surprised by the complexity of some of the character writing, and this hits particularly well. liko's loss feels meaningful... and like setup for something.

to me, this episode seamlessly bridges off of liko's character development set in motion in HZ056, and also makes her character more clear through her contrast with grusha. i definitely don't think this is truly the end of this plot thread - whether or not liko actually gets to fight grusha again sometime in the future or something else, i definitely think liko will get to prove herself in some way, that pokemon battles aren't just about winning or losing and that grusha was indeed in the wrong. and i do hope she gets to fight grusha again or grusha gets to see her prove herself in the future, because it seems like the guy needs to learn to loosen up and have fun and be passionate, too.

i feel even more sure of this because amethio is in the upcoming episode (thank god, i missed him) and grusha parallels amethio in a lot of ways - they both work very hard to be stronger, but just because of a desperation to succeed, and they're both absolutely miserable and irritable as people because of it, though of course amethio's motivations for being this way are very different. i won't speculate too much about the next episode right now but i am hoping that this will be pointed out by the narrative in some way - an amethio episode coming right after this feels... intentional to say the least lol.

the intentional nature of horizons' character writing and its ability to follow through on things it sets up episodes ago never fails to impress me tbh. really good episode. i fucking love liko

[dramalove247]

Preparing for episode 7 of Top Form 🤢

a Dori 🐠 rambles post

Look, I love me some serious pain and drama in my series. Though I don't mind some fluffy series, most of my favorites hurt me badly. I love to live in my fictional characters' pain and go along for the ride with them. But I was NOT PREPARED for episode 6 of Top Form.

Trigger Warning: SA/rape

I often experience a wide range of intense emotions while watching series, but I am rarely triggered by them, even when they do something I find horrifying. I can obsess and live in the pain of characters, but this effected me on a completely other level and I was completely triggered. There is no other explanation for what I experienced last week. That was BAD. And even when I walked away, gave myself time, and came back, everything that came after the initial assault/rape made it worse.

Let me be clear, objectively, episode 6 was VERY WELL DONE. That was hugely the problem. It was TOO real. Akin's confusion and fear, shame, lies, withdrawal. They all made sense. The way we were along for that ride was the best AND worst at the same time. And Jin's insecurity and fear and pain at feeling betrayed is so understandable. And it was DEVISTATING! I know it would have not been true to the characters and their relationship, still I had desperately needed Jin to just hug Akin and let him cry and feel safe and loved. But instead we got a very real and understandable reaction by both characters caught up in their own pain and emotions, neither able to give the other what they needed in that moment because they were both falling apart. Objectively, it was so well written and acted and treated with the full weight the topic deserves. And I can appreciate that they did it well and "right" instead of giving me the quick fix I wanted/needed... once I was able to step back from the emotions. But in that moment, I didn't care how good or real they made it because I was not okay.

I've mostly emotionally recovered from the gut punch that broke me last week, though I am feeling increasingly anxious as we get closer to the next episode. Originally I was planning to wait to watch episode 7 until someone gave me hope that there would be some sort of emotional safety for Akin. But I think I have decided I want to see where they take it this week, even if it isn't resolved quickly.

I'll be patient, but here's what I NEED from this series:

I don't give a shit if it turns out to be assault or rape, Johnny is a predator for what he did. Period. Do not try to paint him as anything else. I'm going to see RED if everything is considered not a big deal if it turns out Johnny didn't actually fuck Akin. I don't care. There is no gray area here. Johnny is deplorable.

Akin understands that he is a victim and isn't responsible for what happened to him so he can begin to heal. This show needs to be clear that what happened to Akin is 100% wrong.

Jin realizes that Akin is a victim and takes back all accusations of infidelity.

I really don't want to see the toxic forgiveness shit in this series. Please don't let Akin forgive him and please don't try to make us sympathize with Johnny.

Wish list: Please let Akin get angry, specifically at Johnny. I am literally sick that he has to face Johnny at work and is too caught up in his shame and guilt to treat him like the predator he is.

As much as I had wanted them to fix that shit ASAP, they better handle this well or they shouldn't have done it at all. I'm going to cut myself off here before I let myself ramble any more.

A prayer for the BL gods: Please let me respect this show and the story they are telling.

Please take care of yourself and protect your mental and emotional health. Hugs for everyone that needs one.

[glade-constellation]

Okay, finally about to get all my thoughts down after yesterday’s episode. I’m going to start with Moon since he’s being the one most talked about.

This is going to be a long post, so I’ll put a cut here <3

Moon

A lot of people are hating on how Moon reacted to Sun’s current trauma. I agree that he is not handling the situation well. As much as I understand where he’s coming from, running from Sun is not going to help at all. Sun desperately needs his family with him right now. No one else may have considered Nexus daily anymore, but it was still clear that Sun cared. He basically had to kill his own brother. Not only that, he was made to feel as if he chose to kill his own brother. (There was no choice in the matter, it was physiological torture set up specifically to make Sun feel guilty for his actions. Sun may have threw the “fireball” but Dark was the one who forced him to.)

Anyways, back to Moon. I think what a lot of people are forgetting is that Moon also just lived through a trauma. He was kidnapped and tortured, almost killed before Ruin saved him. The only reason Ruin saved him, as Ruin explained himself, was because Ruin hated Dark and Nexus. It was not because he wanted to save Moon, it was because he wanted to thwart Dark and Nexus’ plans. When he’s finally on his way to getting out, he finds two of his brothers being tortured, and almost watched one of them die before he got there. (I think that’s why he started screaming when he did. He was buying time for Solar by directing Nexus’ attention at him.) He then watched Nexus die. He was not close to Nexus in any way, but watching anyone die in front of you is not great for your mental health.

After all this, Moon is then told he has to not only process his own trauma, but take on Sun’s trauma as well. Moon does want to help, but he is too overly burdened by his own problems and knows he wouldn’t be of any help. To make up of his guilt, he is coving up his own trauma response by saying he’s doing it for Sun. He very likely knows this isn’t going to help Sun emotionally, but he feels he can stop any farther trauma to Sun by stopping whatever’s causing it. It’s both genuinely feeling this is the only way he can help Sun, and feeling guilt over not being able to help him in the way that is currently needed.

Is that the best response? No. But is it a very Moon response? Yes. This is actually exactly how he used to fix problems. Moon should not have abused Sun in the way he did, and he still needs to apologize for that, but Moon genuinely thought in some of these instances that he was helping Sun. He is not an emotionally available person, so he cannot handle his own emotions on top of others. So he does the next best thing he can think of and tries to stop what’s causing the trauma. Moon has just as much trauma as Sun does, people just don’t tend to feel that way because he took out his emotions on Sun to process them. At least this time he’s not taking it out on Sun. At least he is trying to actually stop the problem.

All in all, Moon isn’t as in the wrong as everyone keeps saying. Yes, he definitely should go talk to Sun. Hell, even just sitting in the same room as Solar does all the talking would be a big help. Just showing that he is there for Sun. But then Moon would feel more guilty, because he wouldn’t see how he’s helping and would still want to go after Dark and Ruin. He may seem apathetic, but he genuinely is trying to fix the situation.

(Edit : I also think people are forgetting that Moon had absolutely no insight as to what the real situation was. Sun did not tell them he was forced to make a choice, he simply saw Nexus explode. He probably thinks Sun intentionally killed Nexus. He does not realize the true gravity of the situation like we do.)

Sun

Obviously, Sun is the most emotionally distressed over the situation. The entire time he was talking with Nexus, a few episodes before his death, Sun tried to say he didn’t care about Nexus. Nexus saw through the lies, he knew Sun for an entire year by this point. They used to be brothers, Nexus wasn’t going to believe Sun didn’t care because Sun never stopped caring. As much as Sun was hurt by Nexus, that was still his brother. It’s kind of similar to his feelings of Moon at the beginning of the show. Moon did some genuinely terrible things to him, but Sun still cared. The only reason this situation is any different is because Moon would sometimes try and show regret over his actions, and Nexus blatantly didn’t care.

Sun found out his brother was kidnapped, had to bargain with the enemy to try and get past another enemy, almost got caught in the crossfire of a deadly fight, and was then tortured by someone he used to call a brother. He was almost forced to watch Solar die purely as a revenge tactic to get back at him, and Sun would have felt it was his fault Solar died. The was only stopped by Moon rushing in to start fighting. Right when it looked like Nexus was about to kill everyone, Dark forced Sun into a rigged choice between killing his brothers. (Edit: It was Ruin’s device that killed Nexus. Sun had no part in physically killing him.)

Once again, really want people to understand that Sun did not kill Nexus. He was simply made to feel like he did. It’s psychological torture, make someone feel as if they are choosing a certain outcome when you are actually in control so that the person will be traumatized by “their own” actions. Dark was very in control of the situation. He very much knew who Sun was going to choose, but forced him into doing so in a way that would make Sun feel like it was his fault. Sun is in no way at fault for Nexus’ death. That is completely on Dark.

In the end, Sun is forced to watch his former brother, someone he still cares very deeply about, die a very violent and painful death. He is forced to think he is the one to cause it. He was already in high distress before hand from Moon’s kidnapping and attempted rescue. Now he is dealing with what is quite possibly his worst trauma yet. This forces him to shut down and dissociate from the problem.

Notice how Sun forces himself not to breakdown until he gets back to the house, and even then he goes to his own room and very quietly starts to cry. Even while he was in extreme emotional pain, he was trying to be considerate of the people around him. He didn’t want to force them to handle him while he was suffering, so he made his suffering as silent and unseen as he could. Because Sun never stops caring.

To say the least, Sun is in an unbearable amount of pain right now. It will be a very long road to recovery for him, if he ever recovers from this.

Solar

Solar seems to be the most level headed in the situation, which isn’t an odd thing. He will usually take on that role in these types of situations. He was also one of the first to say killing Nexus was their best option. He was probably the most prepared for this kind of outcome.

The thing is, as much as Solar might not like it, he is still an Eclipse. He still deals with his problems like most Eclipses do, though arguably better than others. He finds work to do, and he drowns himself in it to avoid his own feelings. Eclipses are kings of repression. Solar doesn’t want to acknowledge his own feelings, so he’s going to forget he even has them.

His current choice of work? Helping Sun. To him, Sun is obviously more hurt than he is, so his own emotions don’t matter. He feels Sun needs more help than him, so he’s not going to show any distress so that the others will focus on Sun and not him. If they focus on him, he will have to feel his feelings, and he doesn’t want that. He wants Sun better, because to him Sun obviously is the one more in need.

I think that’s one of the reasons he got so upset with Moon over the whole “go talk to Sun” situation. No one is helping Sun, and he’s confused on why no one is helping. Sun obviously needs it, why is everyone just leaving him alone? They need to go check on Sun, he’s obviously not okay right now. Why is no one helping Sun?

I thinks there’s a lot of factors at play here, besides just repression. I think is also somewhat projection and reliving trauma too. He basically lived the beginning of his life without help when he was in emotional distress. His Moon never cared about him, blamed him for Sun’s death, and constantly verbally and physically abused him. He was never allowed to grieve. Seeing Sun hurting like this and not getting help is reminding him of his own feelings in past situations where he never got help. He may not realize it, but it’s a possibility. Also, he still has the attachment to his own Sun. I don’t think he likes seeing any Sun (besides Dark) in any sort of pain.

Then there’s the last thing.

Solar had to kill his Moon.

This situation is striking way too close to home.

Solar is probably the only one who genuinely can feel empathy for Sun’s current situation. He’s the only one who knows what it feels like to “pull the trigger”. Nexus was also acting very similar to how Solar’s Moon used to act. And Solar never got any help when it happened. He didn’t even tell anyone, he covered it up and tried to forget. I think Lunar is the only one who knows about it, and Lunar never did anything about it. Solar was forced to go through nearly this exact situation, and he does not want to see Sun go through what he had to go through.

(On top of all this, Solar was very close to Nexus before his death. He’s not showing it, but he is very much hurt by what is happening. The only reason he is probably not in more distress is because he prepared for this being a possible outcome.)

Earth

To be completely honest, I have been way more focused on the others in this situation. Earth is also one of the easiest characters to read, as she verbally voices her feeling to everyone and has never really felt the need to hide them. We already know she’s upset by the situation, and is probably going to have some sort of mildly poor coping mechanism, but she is going to be the most emotionally okay out of everyone. Not because she is feeling okay, but because she’s the most in tune with her own feelings, and with how to properly handle those feelings.

I’m not saying she’s going to be perfectly okay over this. She is obviously still very hurt and troubled. I am also not trying to downplay her emotions. She is definitely going to need the others to help her. This portion isn’t short because I don’t like her, it’s just short because she is genuinely the best off in this situation. She knows how to find help when she needs it and, even better, she will ask for it.

Monty & Lunar

I’m sticking them together because I feel very similar ways about them.

I do not understand their reactions to the current situation.

Monty is more understandable. He was always closer to Moon than he was to Nexus. That much was very obvious. The moment Moon came back they got drunk and partied, and then feel right back into their old friendship. Monty was seemingly completely unaffected by Nexus’ change of heart. He very much only cares about themself and Earth.

The way he’s acting currently is not helping the situation. At all. It’s even worse than Moon’s reaction, in my opinion. Moon at least feels he is helping Sun. Monty is doing nothing. “Nexus is dead? Cool. Let’s hide this from Earth because it will hurt her and I can’t stand seeing that.” That is going to hurt Earth a lot worse in the long run if she was never told. She doesn’t like lies, even by omission. You already are hurting others by being apathetic, do not hurt Earth because seeing her hurt will hurt you. That’s fucked up.

Then there’s Lunar. I’ve already talked about my feelings on him, but I still cannot figure him out. He’s always been a very apathetic character when he’s not interested or running from emotional pain. But this? This feels almost malicious. He doesn’t seem to care. Usually when he is running, he’ll verbally tell everyone he knows what he’s doing. He knows it’s bad. But right now he is not saying anything. His is either dissociating from the problem to the point he is numb, or he is so genuinely unbothered that there isn’t any sort of care in his heart.

This doesn’t feel like Lunar. This has never been his reaction to anything before. We haven never seen this from him at this scale. It feels so violently out of character for someone who is very emotional and loud about it.

At this point, I am starting to wonder if the Star power is having a bigger effect on him than we think. We all know that the Astrals deal with apathy to most things. Even Castor and Pollux has said they don’t react to things like most people expect them to. They do not have the ability to care in a way the feels human. Since Lunar has been training to become an Astral, I’m starting to wonder if this will begin to mentally change him as well.

I am not saying that apathy is a bad thing to have. I am not saying Lunar is wrong to feel this way. I am simply saying it feels violently out of character, and is not helpful in the situation at all.

These two are currently being the least helpful in this situation. They do not care, and do not feel the need to soften their apathy and help the others. Lunar is actually the most unsympathetic out of the group, which is actually a stark contrast to how he usually is portrayed.

[violasghost]

"This time next week, we'll know," Tim says--Foreshadowing much? 7x16 The Rookie episode discussion

Well, we’re almost to the end of season 7. Part of me is a little sad that it’s almost over, mostly because this has kind of been a blessing of an escape from reality for a bit, due to stressful personal life stuff. But that said, wanted to add a little to the discussion about last night’s episode. Will break it down by character groupings, starting with the obvious bee in everyone’s bonnet-Seth.

Seth & Miles: So Seth really got under everyone’s skin in different ways. I get why Miles was pissed at him. In real life I know people like that too, those people who some how seem to be able to effortlessly skirt the system and benefit from it, while those of us who work our butts off tirelessly sometimes doing the work of two or three people (with no extra thanks/credit) are still making less money, or have to work twice as hard just to be considered for the promotion. That said-karma is a bitch.

Seth & Lucy: I think the person who really had the most legitimate axe to grind with Seth, was Lucy, who was handling her irritation like a pro BTW. I don’t know how she didn’t blow her top at Tamara immediately. Although I was a little miffed when she blew off Grey when Tamara came rolling into the station (was thinking, like girl your boss is cool but maybe wait until he dismisses you before you go talk to your ex roomate?).

Tamara & Lucy: Tamara I was less impressed with. Yes she’s young, but boy was she ignorant. She didn’t listen to Lucy AT-ALL. For all they had been through together and what Lucy did for her, there should have been a small inkling of trust or benefit of doubt there. It was like everything Lucy said about Seth went in one ear and went out the other. I’m sorry but Tamara owed Lucy a heads up on the whole engagement thing, and not ambushing her like that. I don’t think it should have been Lucy who had to apologize (but then, Lucy’s probably more emotionally mature than moia, haha). I just felt that Tamara was taking advantage of Lucy's grace and kindness, expecting her to be cool with everything, and not even giving her a chance to explain her side. Didn't blame Lucy for one second when she finally did blow. I loved that she decided to do it at Tim's house though, haha. I think she knew in the back of her mind that she needed some backup of her own, and Tim was there for her, and if things would have gotten ugly, he she knew he would have been there for her hands down.

Nolan & Seth: I was actually extremely impressed with Nolan and Seth’s relationship. I think Nolan finally did an amazing job as a TO there. There were some questionable moments with Celina as her TO, so he really redeemed himself for me as Seth's TO. Nolan probably was the only one to understand the kind of person Seth was and not buying into his act letting him know he had to earn back everyone's trust, and explaining to him how maybe some he would never earn their trust back. Nolan was probably the only one who really got inside Seth's head.

Did I feel bad about Seth’s leg in the end? Maybe a teeny bit. But mostly not really. I think as I said before, it was karma. He was okay with letting Lucy and Tim drive into a burning inferno, possibly to be burned alive and never to be heard from again, and he was continuing to lie even when he came back the second time. Some lessons are hard.

BTW, felt totally bad for that dad who was released from prison by mistake, man what a nightmare. That would have gutted me. I thought Nolan’s suggestion to the wife to take the daughter to counseling was pretty heartless as well.

Angela & Wesley: Oh I did not like those streamers! (I have an 8 & 10 y/o niece and nephew who are into some of those clip Tok-type streaming shows with the entitled little brats running around spending boat loads of their parents money and man it’s hard to watch. Sorry if you’re rich. Just hope mine don’t turn out to hero worship people like that, who have zero understanding of how most of the world lives or what it means to give back.) They should have arrested the young girl who assaulted Angela and Jack. That was totally crossing the line. Wish Angela could have gone full combat mode on their asses.

Celina and Roger: I have to say, Roger was a bit of a goofball to me in the beginning, but he is growing on me. I do enjoy their dynamic. And I got a chuckle out of their chat when Tim came to the apartment, and teasing him about picking up his “friend” Lucy, and then the whole dinner party fiasco and Roger speaking Spanish (hilarious)!

Lucy and Tim: And last but certainly not least our favorite duo-Chenford. Oh boy, where to start with these two? I kind of think they are still a bit of an emotional mess. Yes, we had the admission of feelings in the True Crime episode, but I also think Lucy is still a bit guarded, not because she’s paranoid she’ll jinx the Sargeant’s exam, but because I think it’s because she knows the time for game-playing is almost up. Sh*ts about to get real, and she’s not a casual sex kind of girl, and if she passes that Sargeant’s exam and becomes Sargeant-Tim’s equal, there are no more barriers to remain between them. No more excuses. Not that the power dynamic has  stopped them before, but now the gig is truly up, and they will be forced to address what they have been trying to avoid for so long, the purple elephant in the room. Whether what they have/had is just physical lust and friends with benefits, or real love. My money’s on the latter. How can it not be? They've been eachother's person even when at their lowest moments.

Not expecting any big conversations, but it would be nice to see a little vulnerability on both of their parts before they cross that line together. They have had each other’s back this whole time, but on my wish list before the season’s end is to hear Lucy and Tim get on the same page for once with a possible ILY confession together, not while under duress, or drugs, or using a lie detector, but a genuine mutual admission. Perhaps we may be stuck with fan fictions for that during the hiatus, but there are still a couple episodes left so we can at least keep hope alive a little while longer.

[milehighmegs]

On the Subject of Fandoms: A Love Letter

So, I'm old. Well, oldER. I haven't entered the twilight of my years by any stretch, but once I entered that midlife wistful state of nostalgia, I knew that I had very likely reached the point at which it would be more past than future. And ya know, that's ok. I made peace with my mortality long ago. I don't fear death, I fear not living before I die.

So what's that got to do with fandoms? you may be asking. Fair enough. Here's what it's got to do with fandoms:

Before it was even a term, before I could do multiplication or write my name in cursive (I told you I'm old), I was part of a fandom and didn't even know it. My parents watched 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' when it was still on primetime; we even recorded the final episode on VHS and had it for years. (I told you, I'M OLD.) It was so incredibly formative for me that it's become part of my identity, part of my moral & ethical code, part of my personality. Is that ridiculous? Dramatic? Maybe even a bit of hubris? Perhaps. But it's true, nonetheless.

I've since joined other fandoms, of movie franchises (namely the MCU), TV shows (like Good Omens), and musicians (I'm a die-hard metalhead) over the course of my life, each of them creating/inhabiting a different part of what makes me ME. Though I've always remained the same basic person at my core (a decent one at least if not a good one, I hope), being a part of these fandoms has shaped the foundations of how I live my life, and how I've LIVED my life.

Being on the proverbial back nine of my earthly existence, looking back at what's come before, at how far I've come and all the things I've fucked up or gotten right, questioned, accepted, regretted, cherished... so much of that is filled with moments like, 'what would Captain Picard do? How would the Avengers handle this? Which Slipknot song would be most comforting right now?' With the explosion of semi-social media sites (like tumblr here, and its gateway drug, Pinterest), I've been able to dive even deeper into the fandom. The fic, the art, the theories & analyses... it turns my appreciation for all these things I love to 11. But it wouldn't be possible without the most critical element: the fans.

Because people have such a love for, and identify so strongly with the stories & characters of their respective fandoms, they go deep into hidden meanings, major themes, & what they imagine these stories would be like if they were able to direct the action. More than anything, what I love about fanfic/fanart is that while yes, we're creating what we want for the characters, it's more a reflection of what we want for ourselves, both in the same situation as the characters and in life in general. For example, I see SO MUCH art/fic of Crowley & Aziraphale being open & free in showing their love for each other. I see so many stories of them making up and living happily ever after. The art ranges from sweet & adorable to... ah... adult-themed, but the vast majority of the latter is passionate, tender, & clearly loving; rarely is it straight-up raunchy. Smutty? Totally. Raunchy? Not so much. And why? Because we know these two are IN LURVE, not just in lust. And we want what they (clearly) have, even if they can't admit it to one another. We, the fans, can live vicariously through these characters and these worlds, and there we can find what we're looking for.

I've had a rollercoaster of a life, emotionally speaking, especially in matters of romantic love, and much of that hasn't been pleasant. I've done so much soul-searching, shadow work, self-care and all that whathaveyou, but none of it- NONE of it- has come anywhere near to being as insightful as the fan-based art & analyses of the relationship between Crowley & Zira. I have spent the vast majority of the last week thinking about it, writing about it, going over & over how it applies to my life & experiences, and I gotta say... none of it would be possible without the remarkable Good Omens fandom. So seriously, thank you. THANK YOU. You've helped to make me a better person. You've helped to make me look back on my life, smile, and turn around... to look forward to what comes next.

Keep up the incredible work, creators. You never know whose life you could be saving.

[bwabys-scenarios]

Unconditional

Kurapika x Fem!Reader

!!REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!

warnings: Kurapika is depressed, mentions of him having anger issues, mention of reader’s period(very short)

taglist: @desiray562 @ashdownunderscorebeloved @stygianoir

if you would like to be added to the HXH/SFW taglist, comment a ❤️!! make sure you have your AGE in your bio, and that you’re able to be tagged/mentioned!

Living and loving Kurapika wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. He had anger issues that got out of control sometimes, he struggled to be emotionally vulnerable with you, and he had missed several date nights and special occasions to chase the Phantom Troupe.

The other three in your friend group saw you as a saint. “I don’t know how you handle all of that, (Name). I would have broken up with him long ago.” Leorio said, sipping on his beer.

You sighed, playing with the straw to your strawberry soda. “It’s tough, but… I’m holding onto hope. Once he gets revenge, I… I hope he’ll be ready to settle down with me. He’s talked about wanting children before. I… want that too.”

Leorio downed the rest of his beer, before letting out a huff. “You’re too kind and patient for your own good.”

Maybe he was right, but the Kurapika you got to see was different than the man that others did.

It was winter, and he hadn’t gotten a single lead on the scarlet eyes or Phantom Troupe in weeks. Christmas was around the corner, and the closer it got to the holidays, the more depressed he became.

When he wasn’t away on missions or business, he stayed with you at your apartment. For the past week, he had been struggling to get out of bed.

Despite him not taking good care of himself and often taking his sadness and anger out on you by yelling or pushing you away, you still held him in the late hours of the night as he sobbed.

“I miss them… god I miss my mom, I miss my dad… I miss Pairo…”

You rubbed soothing circles into his back, not minding that his hair was greasy or his clothes were covered in stains. You kissed his forehead and wiped away his tears, whispering sweet words of love.

“Why don’t we do something tomorrow? Something to get you out of the house, or at least out of bed,” you said softly, caressing his cheek. He didn’t answer, burying his face into your warm bosom.

Soon, within your comforting embrace, he was able to fall back asleep.

He would go through these depressive episodes sometimes, where he would barely eat, and stay in bed for several days. You always helped him do little things to make him feel better, like change his clothes and brush out his hair so it didn’t get matted.

The next morning, you woke up, gently leading him to the bathroom. He sat on the edge of the bathtub shyly as you filled it up with warm water. Kurapika seemed embarrassed, rubbing his arm.

“I’m sorry, I smell gross and look terrible…” he said softly, eyes focused on the floor.

You smiled, helping to pull off his shirt. “Everyone is gross sometimes. You didn’t mind when I was on my period and bled through my pants while we were on a date and even let me cover my butt with your jacket!”

He smiled shyly, his cheeks erupting in a blush when you pulled his pants and boxers off. “Th-that’s different. You couldn’t help that, I’ve just been lazy and I don’t deserve you-“

“Kurapika, we’ve talked about this! You’re not being lazy, you’re going through a lot! You’re allowed to feel upset, and I’ll be here to take care of you, just like you take care of me. You’re deserving of love and understanding.”

He had heard this from you multiple times, but each time it made him want to cry. No one had ever looked past the mask of anger and emotional unavailability he put up. You tore down his walls so easily, making him feel like putty in your hands.

Kurapika stayed silent, allowing you to wash his body, making soft content groans as you washed away all of the grime he acquired over the past week. You applied a cleanser to his face before scrubbing his hair, waving it smooth and fluffy after his bath.

Although he still felt pretty bad, a bath had helped a bit. He watched as you picked out some comfortable pajamas for him to wear. It was the morning, but honestly he appreciated you noticing he didn’t feel like doing much.

You dried him off before dressing him, the blonde leaning against you as you blow dried his hair. It felt nice being taken care of like this. In his teens, Kurapika would have never imagined someone caring about him so much that they were willing to bathe him when he was unwell.

“You’re… you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

You blinked, your face heating up. He’s never been afraid to say he loved you, in fact you were sure that you may be the person he held the most dear in his life, but the words he just said held so much weight.

“Kurapika…”

You pressed kisses into his face, wiping away the stray tears that fell down his cheeks. “You’re my everything, Pika. I want you to be happy, truly happy.”

He sighed, pulling you close and hiding his face in your chest. Kurapika always felt so safe when he was in your arms. It was almost comical to him. You were so much weaker than he was, with the wrong move he could crush you, but right now your arms around him made him feel safe and protected.

“One day… when… when everything has been resolved…”

He looked up at you, smiling. “I’m going to make you my wife.”

You felt your heart do backflips in your chest, and he couldn’t help but laugh at your flustered face. “You’re really cute, (Name). I don’t think I’ve ever loved someone as much as I love you.”

After recovering from his sweet words, you applied moisturizer to his face and combed out his hair. When he looked in the mirror, he could still pick out all of the things he disliked about himself.

He was pale, thin, had bags under his eyes… but you always blushed when he looked your way, your heart thumping wildly when he kissed you. It made him feel a little less insecure.

Kurapika let you lead him to the living room and set him up on the couch with a Christmas movie and some breakfast while you cleaned up your shared room. You had been unable to change the sheets and blankets due to his state, and you really wanted to give him a fresh start.

You returned after making the bed and putting the dirty bedding on to wash. “You know…”

You lifted the edge of the throw blanket you’d covered Kurapika with, ducking under his arm he wrapped around you to lay your head on his chest. “This is nice. I wouldn’t mind sitting here with you all day.”

He grinned, giving you a bite of his pancakes before snuggling close to you. “I’d like that. Now I don’t stink, and I feel… better. Some cuddles with my lovely girlfriend would be nice.”

And that’s exactly what the two of you did, spending the entire day together. The only time you left each other’s embrace was to use the bathroom or for you to prepare meals. Soon, it was time for bed.

The sheets smelled nice and fresh, and cuddled up with you, Kurapika could already feel himself beginning to feel better. It would take time to heal, but little things like this showed him just how loved he was, and how much he loved you.

“Goodnight, my beloved. Tomorrow, I… want to try going outside.”

You smiled, kissing his cheeks. “That sounds nice, we can stop by that new bakery down the street for breakfast.”

Kurapika almost felt excited for the day to come, and it was all thanks to you. “I love you so much… you truly are the most important person in my life.”

“I love you too, Pika.”

You both fell asleep in each others arms, each falling a bit more in love with the other.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Perfect 10 day! I do appreciate how most of my shows are actually spread out right now, rather than the Fri/Sat tsunami that we were getting at one point.

Ah, ok, so we did not get episode 5 sex. Just some mild foreplay.

To give him credit, considering where Arm is emotionally right now, it's not a terrible idea to still give things time.

Side note - Force being able to handle Book's jump on him without losing balance is hella impressive, Book is not a small boy!

Aw, Arc wanting to help Arm have better memories of the ocean is actually very sweet.

Lol, the robes with the sneakers.

Hmm, it's interesting the way they are both talking about the bracelet. Clearly they would both be really upset if the other didn't want to keep it going, but there's also this dancing around it, because Arm doesn't want to go there emotionally yet, and Arc doesn't want to scare Arm with the depth of his feelings.

Heh, not the text immediately reinforcing what I just said.

Arm coming in and doing the equivalent of "we need to talk about meeeeee"

which is why I love shows like this, because the friendship stuff is always A+. Po and Sand are immediately, "tell us all about it poor baby".

These little idiots. They already knew Arc liked Arm!

Oh these thirsty bitches fishing for details.

Gawin, if you are going to keep showing up looking so saucy, I'm gonna need your series right now, k thnx bye.

(Seriously, anyone else increasingly losing their mind over the idea of watching this man get chomped on by vampire Joss?)

Ha, Pond immediately getting what Arc is trying to do because of his own flirtation.

Omg, please tell me this is a Chekhov's gun for Warm clicking with someone at some point!

Also did Copp sound a little pointed in his criticism there to anyone else? Or just wishful thinking?

Hmm, bringing in these "buddies". I'm sure this will lead to no drama whatsoever.

Well, from the size of him, probably a lot of super nourishing food!

Haha, I do love those moments where you can tell Arm wants to act annoyed, but can't help being pleased.

There is no logical reason for Arm to have taken the assignment out of his bag in Arc's car, but I love it anyway. College fantasy romance is adorable.

A-ngun has Arm's number. Love that she is 1) super cool about him and Arc, and 2) being a cute teasing friend to Arm.

Look at our smitten baby!

Oh, Po. We've all been there baby. Some of us quite a lot.

Not Sand backing up Po about how nice his house walls are. I love this dork so much.

Ahhh, more PondSand flirting, pleeeeeease.

Ok, which GMMTV star is going to be our mysterious player?

Why do I feel like the director had trouble reining in Book, Poon, and JJ sometimes, lol? These little chaos monkeys.

Ok, I knew it was coming and the cut still made me laugh.

I do appreciate that Arc is not mad. I feel like an old school college BL would have him drag Arm home. Here he's just emphasizing he wants him safe, but there's no anger or manipulation to it.

Oh Arm, you little dummy. But you know Arc is living for this.

But also where is Pond?! I need him to do some Sand caretaking.

I am such a sucker for these sweet little moments.

All of them are such dummies, but such cute ones.

Lol, Po out here speaking truth, we appreciate our boy.

Ha, and once again, Po being super relatable.

Huh, I never noticed before that Force and Gawin are pretty much the exact same size. It's so clear in their uniforms next to one another.

Ugh, not the hashtags. People need better hobbies.

Omg, the noise I just made out loud!

I love that Arc is immediately like "well, fuck". Yep, that is one pretty, pretty man.

This is all very typical college BL stuff, but I'm still having a good time. It's light and silly, and doesn't stress me out. Comfort tv has its place.

[princeblue]

This is going to be different from my usual yappings but im thinking on how Stolas is a great example of a parent who loves their child deeply, and does things to protect this child, and yet falls horribly short of an actual good parent.

I was rewatching some clips, and I found it so interesting that Stolas is very young when he becomes of “age” to inherit the grimoire from paimon, I can’t remember the exact age he said he was turning but it was no more than 8, I believe. But when Stolas has his powers zapped as punishment for the next 100 years, Octavia is suddenly too young to inherit her father’s status?

Now this could, of course, simply be a plot hole. But let’s pretend it’s not.

Octavia is: 16/17, (again I don’t remember the canonical ages but I know she isn’t in her 20s), unmarried, childless, and even childish with being allowed to behave as a moody teenager without any sort of punishment and corrections whatsoever, im sure there are other points to be made, but these are the ones off the top of my head.

Now, this is all great at first glance, Stolas has done a good job of ensuring that his daughter doesn’t go through the same painful upbringings he did, right?

Well, Octavia is also: emotionally neglected, and it takes outbursts more or less from Via to truly get her fathers attention, introverted, which isn’t necessarily bad but you still need to be able to talk and handle business aspects when you’re supposed to work over a portion of hell that will require say, idk, meetings, dealings. And obviously, clearly, behind on her magic education. So in general just behind on her education as an heiress.

And I distinctly remember Stolas saying “I haven’t taught you spells like that” in the episode where she goes to see the “stars”, when I feel like a teleportation spell to earth should be INCREDIBLY easy for a demon like a goetia.

And circling back to what could be a plot hole — with Andrephelas (if I butchered that name sorry lol) saying that Stolas’s heir wasn’t of age, does this imply that perhaps Stolas petitioned the court to let Octavia mature much longer than he did before inheriting his status? Is Andrephelas playing into how sheltered Octavia is?

I don’t know! We don’t know! But im extremely excited for her upcoming episode.

All in all, Stolas has focused so much on giving Octavia the things that he never had, that he has failed her from being ready to function in society, and not just society, but failed to prepare her for what is quite literally her entire purpose in life, to be a goetia.

And to clarify, absolutely none of this is me bashing Stolas! I actually really enjoy his character, like I said at the start, he’s a great example of a parent who loves their child deeply but falls short of being an actual good parent, and that is deeply rooted into his character, everything “good” he does always seems to turn out, or is perceived, as bad.

And I find his relationship so, SO interesting with Octavia as Stolas has done the exact thing Octavia feared, he has run off with blitz and left her behind. And now that she’s fully in the hands of her mother (who I purposely excluded in this rambling because I seriously doubt she was very hands on with Via, and I actually have a different ramble about this subject one day because I acc find Stella’s potential interesting) and her uncle, im sure that their manipulation against Stolas will work — at least for a little while.

She is blorbo<3 thanks for coming to my tedtalk.

[ernmark]

Juno Steel and the Case Closed (part 1) reaction

It's been a while since I've done one of these, hasn't it?

But it's the last episode, and I wanted to be here for the end. So if you'd like, some thoughts and theories under the cut:

It was a solid choice to have Nureyev go-- to make this final story about Juno and his world and his life, rather than specifically about their relationship. But also, the choices made around Nureyev's leaving-- holy shit.

Because here's a man who's spent the last twenty years entirely defined by his relationship with one man, and now he's cut loose and of course he's flailing to re-establish himself in a different orbit. And you can hear it in his voice, where it rises into something halfway to panic (amazing job, Noah Simes), and you can feel exactly how horribly wrong it's going to go if he goes down that road. And then there's Juno, who's healthy enough to be the voice of reason, even when it hurts him? Who makes it clear he's willing to wait until Nureyev is ready for him? Oh my god, that's perfection. (And Nureyev going maybe back to Brahma-- my little fanfic writer heart did a leap there). Nureyev may very well be back next episode (I suspect he will, if only for the final moments), but I really like this as an ending of their arc-- not the neatly laced up riding off into the sunset together, but looking forward to that sunset and being actually ready for it when it comes. It makes my heart feel so good.

--

And from that happy moment, to have Juno go back to Hyperion, to his office, and immediately start slipping back into his worst self? Oh, that's too real-- in a way that I am very happy with. Because he isn't 'fixed'. Juno 'born-a-sad-baby' Steel won't ever be 'fixed', not by romance or a vacation or a wonderful new family dropping him reminders of how much they love him. What's wrong with him isn't something that can be fixed-- but this time around it's different. This time around, when he yells at Rita she stands up to him (with a small, tremulous voice, because goddamn standing up to people you love is terrifying). I am so proud of her for that, and of him for backing off. It takes a palpable effort for him to rein himself in, but he's making that effort-- and he knows how, in a way that I don't think he did in those early seasons. It's a choice he's making, over and over again, just like it's a choice he makes to keep replaying Jet's wisdom instead of drowning his misery in tequila.

(Another kudos there: that Juno's problem isn't addiction, not the same way it is for Jet-- alcohol isn't a problem for him when things are going well, but it's easier to retreat into a bottle than to deal with his feelings. It's a distinction you don't see very often. Honestly, the way this show has dealt with addiction has been really refreshing to see.)

I've said from the beginning that one of the things that really drew me to this show was how it handles Juno's depression-- as a genuine mental illness that's an inherent part of him. And it's enheartening to see him struggle with it, but now be able to reach out for the tools and the support he needs. And that support doesn't have to be Jet literally talking him away from the bottle, or Rita or Nureyev petting him and making him feel better. He can reach for the pieces of them that they leave behind. And he can wish the Ruby 7 a good journey home, and send Nureyev to find himself, not without pain and grief, but without completely losing himself to it.

That kind of story gives me so much more hope than any kind of 'happily ever after' ever could.

--

And then the designated mystery, which has me so freakin' excited:

Nightmare.

She is the culmination of so many plot threads that I've been picking up on for so long and I'd completely forgotten about, and I am so freaking excited to see it.

I was in such a rough place emotionally when we last visited the most obvious of those threads, I genuinely don't remember if I posted meta about it or not, but it definitely struck some bells:

When Juno rescued Rita from Dark Matters, the safehouse she was in was described as being full of items that were clearly meant for a child. At the same time, Sasha was having Rita destroy all evidence of her own life so thoroughly that not even Rita herself would be able to find traces afterward.

It seemed most obvious to me that she was hiding a child (one that, I didn't realize until Juno remarked on Nightmare's area code, could have been hidden in the suddenly repopulated New Town without anybody asking inconvenient questions about who she was or where she came from). Also her taking care of a child would explain her ever-escalating reactionary tendencies-- she certainly wouldn't be the first parent who descended into authoritarianism in a misguided attempt to protect someone.

So some theories about who and what Nightmare is:

Alessandra's daughter is the most obvious, of course. (I still hold onto that theory that Sasha was either the Worst Client that Juno told Alessandra Strong about, or else that Sasha was the cheating spouse in that story.)

Nightmare could be Annie Wire's daughter-- assuming that Annie survived the factory, grew up, had a child of her own, and then died for real this time, leaving her grieving sister to raise her niece.

Nightmare could be Annie Wire herself-- dead, kept in stasis, revived by Dark Matters technology, and then whisked away to the safe house.

Nightmare could be a clone of Sasha and/or Annie. Honestly, not digging this theory, but I might as well throw it out there.

Nightmare could herself be a Radical, not unlike the Ruby 7, who's taken on Sasha's appearance and stayed that way ever since (after all, Sasha would have been at just about the right age when she was recruited by Dark Matters)

From a narrative standpoint, I'm most fond of the idea of Nightmare either being Annie or Annie's daughter, personally. Because that's literally the second mystery we were given, and it was pointedly never solved. As much as I like the idea that some mysteries just aren't and you have to make peace with that, I'm a big fan of long games like this, and of tugging on threads from the beginning of a story when you're wrapping up the end. That's especially true for Sasha's arc closing here, back in Hyperion City. Sasha's voice was one of the very first that we heard in this series, and Sasha's trajectory has always been a funhouse mirror version of Juno's. She's always been an integral part of his story. It seems fitting that her story gets wrapped up alongside his.

[belles1011]

Notes from Off Track (The Gross One)

- Starts with a rare Thim content warning: James learned more about his accident in this episode and it gets pretty gory. (I won’t post anything explicit on this lil review but if you want to know if it’s something you would be able to handle, feel free to DM me and I can summarise ❤️)

- Alex had a case of “the Mondays” with his face apparently

- James, Becky and Thim hung out (Becky and Thim are involved in making a film together) and had Mexican food and went for karaoke - Thim did a 7 minute song (The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald I think) and left in the middle of it (as did James and Becky whilst he was still on stage because he had too many friends)

- It’s coming up to 10 years since James’ accident and he was filming some stuff at the speedway last Friday and one of the guys from the safety team was there that day so he learned some new stuff about his accident (as I said - won’t discuss it here)

- Alex admitted to being a little queasy during the discussion, yet James cackled hysterically at certain points but mostly we’re glad he’s still here 🥹

- James can’t twerk and his bum isn’t the same on both sides, so apparently him and Alex are going to learn how to do this

- Kentucky!! They did a roadtrip in an EV, but obvs Alex is very emotionally invested in castle run and he didn’t do as well as they would have hoped, but they still had a good time

- Alex has also been playing golf (they’re all obsessed wtf) and flew to Charlotte on Monday for some sim time

- They discussed people getting married and having babies, and Alex said Conor is probably the last wedding he will go to - then they agreed on Colton, but said that might happen before Conor anyway

- James was sad that means wedding Josef Newgarden has less chances to appear in his life - and Alex said that hasn’t happened in the last 3+ years anyway (Ashley was at Alex’s wedding but not Josef who iirc was driving in IMSA or something that weekend) - then they agreed that the wedding Newgardens were not as prevalent in recent years. Sad for everyone.

- Decided they should make an annual party that’s a Wedding-style event without all the boring bits for their group of friends with a fake bachelor party and a fake wedding and rotate through the bachelor parties they all went on for theirs

- Alex and James have a new business plan that they hashed out on their roadtrip and said they would tell us soon

- They recorded Monday so before the thermal test but I’m sure there will be details next week

- James is going to Vegas and complained about the schedule. Thim and Alex are hanging out in Indy this weekend, but Becky is not going to vegas so who knows if Thim will go in her place (genuinely idk if they were joking)

[frostyclove]

episode 5 spoilers

part 2 - the adults. also super long ; also not super thought out but kinda

Cristina Ricci can act I do forget it’s her literally every time I watch this show. Truly pulling off a superman 

Misty taking Lotties stuff - like it - am a bit uncomfy with her taking body samples but its misty so Ill let it slide (incredibly in character for her) 

I was pleasantly surprised with how they all actually seemed upset at the death. Thought they would be more chill about it. We must remember - theyre like very numb to death at this point. It’s quite literally just misty that gets sad about it. Shauna hardly gave a moment of a fuck when nat died. She at least was sad this time. Same goes for tai and van. They are more sad at Lotties death than nats. So please. Be normal for 2 minutes

Shauna immediately countering - makes Shauna look sus but its also so in character for her

Dare I actually say the way theyre handling the Lottie death feels almost exactly paralleled to the way theyre handling the cabin burning down - misty getting everyone together to figure it out, Shauna just kinda accusing people, van immediately covering for tai just in case. Theyre still the same kids and its nice to see that 

Other tai really wants to pop out but Shauna joking about tapioca pudding keeping out girl grounded 

‘If anyone had any reason to be angry at louie its you’ yes but Shauna its also you (I dont think Shauna did it just emphasizing how good Shauna is at deflecting because she refuses to look inward)

^^ van then makes a face that I think embodied what I just said love u van 

Then misty leaves her own house. Because Shauna fought back against her. Misty will be next to die me thinks. (Jackie ; Lottie ; now misty. Somehow I expect van + misty to be dead by the end of the season)

Also though nat would have figured out who killed Lottie I miss nat but its Kindda the point that the most caring ones die its the whole gotta be cuttrhoat in the wilderness thing that Shauna ushers in // the Jackie Laura lee Javi stuff 

Intro - 

New clips in the intro yeah ?? Bunch of new tai that I haven’t seen maybe I just wasn’t paying attention to it before ? 

Very emotionless. shes trying to be nat but shes still misty. If any of you have seen torcwood it’s giving jack trying to be Gwen in the first like 3 episodes. She just cant tap into the emotionality of it. As hard as she tries, nothing will change the fact that nat was her emotional core. She will figure it out, shes misty, shes smart, but I think we can expect a breakdown from her at some point this season over her not being able to become nat and the consequences that will have (for instance not being able to solve it and Walter instead solving it or something idk im not an oracle) 

I really do not care about this part. This is the most boring version of adult Shauna. This is why I dont like season 1 adult plot. Anyways. 

Really confused at Walter picking Shauna as friend but you know if it keeps misty around people I guess its good enough that girl should not be allowed alone I dont trust she wont opt out 

Girl Shauna me too with that damn Walter line maybe he did do it and not tai if so Shauna girly pop you gotta gut him 

You can really get anywhere by being confident its funny 

A bonkers change in perspective is that in season 1 when Lottie was baptized she knew where that was. She knew that was the walkway in the bottom of her dad’s penthouse. And that actually changes a lot for me. But the biggest part - is what did Lottie think the connection point was ? how did Lottie interpret what that meant ? Im hoping teen Lottie answers that at some point soon. 

The scratches - lottie trying not to fall or Lottie trying to fight back ?

Misty such a good liar 

Lottie pop omg precious child I love Lottie so much 

Rich girl with mental issues ? Lottie was a Kennedy in another life 

Lottie was living back with her even moreso mentally ill father. Possibly, per Cliff, she wasn’t even at an institution ? Just at her dad’s ??? Am I understanding that right ? 

Lotties always just wanted to help - I can see her going back to take care of her father until it just got to be a bit too much then going to Shaunas for a break - only shauna manages to make it worse (again validly just it really really sucks for Lottie) 

I have so many thoughts on this part but I paused it too late and now tai is on my screen and shes very distracting to me thats my baby 

Lotties dad makes me really sad but also hes kinda a dick so maybe theres a chance hes gotten worse in old age and he was nicer to Lottie before getting sick (this is cope; there is not way this was the case)

Why didn’t misty just say who she was. Like. 

Do we think he actually has a meeting ?? Hes covering up lotties death. Maybe the meeting has something to do with that 

Egropuh hg ahgouhogewhogahgowgah water go away 

Bear sterns. Is that referential to anything else in the show ? Names are always interesting in shows like this 

Poor Shauna getting accused to being with Walter ew 

Is this the same building they film only muders in the building in ? It looks similar . Looks sitcom-y 

Poor Lottie the penthouse is so ugly and bland 

Sounds hollow to me Shauna u funny sometimes 

Dont really get why they even pretended to leave clearly lotties dad is very convincible of things 

Something is in those trashbags something important 

Because you are her friend Shauna - yes exactly Walter the one good part of you yes remind Shauna of how to be friend . 

No Walter she does like a challenge but only one from people she likes and right now she doesnt like you so its not fun for her

Who the fuck killed Lottie Matthews 

His mad (mutually assured destruction) line. I think that’ll be relevant. Idk how. But it seems like a foreshadow-y line. 

I. Swear. To. God. If Walter fucked up the phone cloning and lost all the data. Shauna. Please handle him. 

Poor Shauna at mistys ‘you two deserve each other’ girl was confused 

Adult tai/van - 

We get not .5 seconds with our tai. Omg. Just the I wanna try everything. Then it clicks over to other tai. Tawny I want you to get Emmys for this im sorry they probably wont give you any. You deserve them 

Okay basically its tai then tai gets stressed and she goes into the middle point where it’s not really just tai and its not really just other tai, then I cant tell if the joking about killing Lottie was tai or other tai. Could be either. Could be both. Tawnys doing a blend. So im thinking both. 

I love that van is questioning it. Love that van seems to be unsure. It’s nice to see that pushback. Nice to see van be both actually upset AND very gently pushing back on the tai aspects. AND if you look closely at Lauren’s micro expressions I THINK van is also curious which tai is there in the restaurant. 

Tai looks hot as hell I cant lie 

Sammy doesnt want tai to be his mom. Ouch. 

Omg tawny is so hot 

Simone judging hard and honestly I get it but at least shes got her priorities ; taking care of Sammy. 

I cannot believe that scene was just that omg so short 

Its not that Sammy can tell its other tai - its that Sammy wants tai to not be his mom anymore because to him tai and other tai are same person and he is scared. Complicated yes. Sad yes. But im fairly certain that wasn’t other tai. 

Now; once shes in Sammys room ? While shes petting van she switches into other tai. Once you see the micro expressions that tawny does its realllyyyy easy to tell. Once again I scream from the rooftops - tawny deserves an Emmy for this performance 

Van either doesnt see it or doesnt care, could easily be either 

The Shauna lot dad scene - 

Shauna, letting herself feel. She hardly does that. It’s nice to see her letting herself feel. 

Poor lot 

Shes a teenager its very normal to not listen to parents 

Ive literally had this conversation with a parent. Damn near word for word. So forgive me for not discussing it. 

But basically Lottie deserves better but thats kinda the point. 

God forbid a show handles something in line with what people actually experience rather than an idealistic version. 

God forbid a show handles mental illness in a way that reflects the actual experience in the age we currently live in.

God forbid

Im sick of people who dont even have the fucking illnesses talking about this plot like they know better like I am actually very frustrated with it but it’s too close to me to fully talk about it. (specifically talking about the mental illness aspect not the race/woc mistreatment aspect)