#i will not accept any of the things these ppl say to me. im fine. god its like im full of adrenaline rn

[mins-fins]

bring it back

&&. you tell donghyuck all the time, but his fists are always so bruised he doesn't listen.

pairing: lee donghyuck x m!reader

genre: weird rejected hybrid thing

warnings: literally fighting, is this relationship safe? idk!!

word count: 1.3k

notes: this spawned while i was reading one of my old old things back from my wp era and i suddenly got inspired.. only reason i chose hyuck is bc hes the first member who came to mind when i thought about writing 😣 im also a little obsessed with him atm.. i sort of left you all with radio silence yesterday, was supposed to post a timestamp but didn't, my apologies isanator nation (like 2 ppl) anw! don't take this too seriously, i don't get into fights and don't know much about fighting, my google search history looks very concerning rn ☺️

"come on! is that really all you got? those hits were weak".

donghyuck sits up defeated, but he doesn't allow for such an expression to cross his face, the last thing he wants to do is look like a sore loser in front of you, though he clearly is with how he got knocked to the ground by a single punch.

he refuses to think about the fact.

you raise an eyebrow at the sight of him catching his breath on the floor, a taunting chuckle leaves your lips, a chuckle donghyuck narrows his eyes at. if you knew sparring meant you'd have to meet donghyuck's piercing glare more than once in the span of five minutes, you would've offered to be his sparring partner much earlier.

you think he looks adorable when he's mad.

"done verbally berating me now?"

"not sure i'll ever be done".

you extend your hand forward, and donghyuck takes it instantly. once you help him to his feet, he gives you a pout, one you press your finger to. "what the hell are you pouting about?" you inquire, and donghyuck's eyes roll.

"you beat me like— five times, y/n".

you scoff lightly, shoving your boyfriends shoulder. "and i'll continue beating you if you don't stop hesitating before every hit" you lean closer to press a kiss to his lips, trying to erase the pout with an act of affection, but he stays pouting.

you snicker as you pinch his cheek, turning on your heel and walking towards your duffel bag on the other side of the room. what can you say? throwing your boyfriend around the room makes a guy thirsty.

donghyuck stares at you for a moment, studying your figure, then groans. "y/n".

"hm?"

you turn back to look over at him, and donghyuck has to stifle his laugh. how is it that you look so harmless right now when you just spent up to almost an hour breaking every bone in his body? he finds it hilarious how quick you can switch tunes. "one more round".

shock gleams in your eyes. "you sure? i thought you were tired.."

donghyuck is quick to shake his head, suddenly filled with an abrupt surge of determination. "yeah, this'll be the last one".

you blink, but you don't seem to mind, because you shrug, dropping your bottle of water and beginning to stretch your arms. "i'm starting to think you like being thrown around, should i note this down as a kink of yours?"

your smile is tormenting,

the good kind though.

"do whatever you want y/n~" donghyuck muses, a sing songy tone of voice accompanying his words. you study his body language for a while, cracking your knuckles. "i'm not letting you win again".

"ah really? you think you're gonna beat me this time?"

"wanna bet?"

you seem to like the sound of that, if the way your eyes light up is any indication. donghyuck's got you, perfect. you scour your mind for ideas, tilting your head as you smile at your boyfriend. "fine then, if you manage to knock me to the ground i'm all yours next week".

donghyuck's eyes widen to a comically huge size. "you serious?"

"slow your roll, baby, i said if you manage to knock me to the ground".

donghyuck clicks his tongue, an acception of the bet you put down. "don't underestimate me so quickly".

"underestimating? i'm just saying what's true, how many times did the sim kid knock you out last week? ten? fifteen? if i didn't know any better, i would've assumed you were weak".

god you're so skilled at this, you know exactly how to hit donghyuck where it hurts, both literally and figuratively. you know exactly what to say, and know exactly how they'll affect him. trash talk is something your so good at, sometimes donghyuck forgets it's all an act.

you know donghyuck can fight better than he actually does, his attempts at punches right now are vastly different to the punches he throws during actual fights. you know he's much stronger than he thinks, but for some reason, he seems to.. soften around you.

it's cute in hindsight, but he's been slacking lately, and you have to get him back on track.

"weak huh?"

"yeah, you going easy on me?"

your posture is relaxed, you don't want to make the first move, your waiting for donghyuck to surge forward and try to hit you. he narrows his eyes, your feet tapping rhythmically onto the floor and your arms crossed. "not a chance".

you chuckle at donghyuck's statement, a chuckle that angers donghyuck. what the actual fuck are you being so cocky about? he wants to wipe that smirk off your face, no, scratch that, he wants to punch that smirk off your face, he's going to make you wish you never said anything.

without saying anything more, donghyuck surges forward, a move you weren't expecting, but one you knew how to deal with already. a right hook, simple, easy to dodge and easy to counteract.

"was that a punch? i bet renjun could throw a better one than that".

donghyuck grits his teeth.

"don't mention renjun".

"oh? am i striking a nerve?"

you are striking a nerve, and donghyuck is about to strike you in the face. he keeps throwing punches, a flurry of hooks left and right, he has to hit you, he will hit you.

you're completely unfazed, the hooks nothing you haven't seen before. you swing your right hand over to parry the hit donghyuck sends you, using your position to your advantage and delivering a punch to his side. it catches him off guard and he winces, reeling back in just the slightest.

you give him no time to adjust, taking his distraction into consideration and surging towards him, a left jab to the side of his stomach. he stumbles back, trying to gather himself as his head spins in dizziness from the hit you delivered.

you let out a small scoff. "come on, hyuck, you have to hit me".

donghyuck grunts, moving forward with a left hook this time. "i'm trying" he grits his teeth, an action that makes you smile. donghyuck gives a small tch at the sight of you smiling, he hates it (that's a lie, he loves it).

you don't even try to hit him back, just continue stepping backward as donghyuck sends hit after hit.

he narrows his eyes, but you just smile again, you're really starting to get annoying. it's then that donghyuck notices something, your legs, he can use that to an advantage of his.

so, without any prior warning, donghyuck punches your lower stomach, a punch you weren't expecting. when you reel back from the hit, he decides to take his chance. an uppercut, a right jab to your side, and a haymaker to the side of your face.

donghyuck doesn't know where all of that came from, but it seems to do the trick, because you have no more strength to continue fighting. you stumble for a moment before falling over, hitting the ground and rolling over as you clutch your stomach.

donghyuck immediately gasps as he sees your state. "holy shi— oh my god! are you okay!?"

you give a tired smile, sending a thumbs up to the air. "i'm alright, that was great, babe".

it's only then that it dawns on donghyuck. "i beat you".

you nod.

donghyuck breathes in and out, he truly can't believe this. "i beat you, holy shit i beat you!"

you chuckle at how excited he sounds, breathless from the blows he delivered to you. "yeah, you did, congrats champ".

donghyuck falls down beside you, flinging his arm over your stomach and moving closer to you. "i get to have you all to myself now".

you raise an eyebrow. "you've always had me all to yourself".

donghyuck giggles. "i know, but i knocked you to the ground this time".

"don't get used to it".

[greennoobartist]

I often (just like rn at 3am lol) sit down, cross my fingers, lean my chin on my hands, elbows on my table, maybe or maybe not some random music i like, unlock my phone, open the followers page, place my phone right in front of me on the table, AND THINK. like THINK!

*inhale* (real life angst warning below, i had to rant im sorry ill leave now)

how... Tf... Is it WAAAY easier, to make friends, online, than in irl? How... Tf... Do ppl actually call me cool? How... Tf... Am I accepted so much? How... Tf... Is my voice heard? How... Tf... Are my opinions actually considered? How... Tf... Do ppl think im 17? How.... Tf... Do ppl actually appreciate my advice and reassurance? How... Tf... Do ppl actually like my random ramblings? How.... Tf... Haven't i been called crazy already? How... Tf... Do ppl say that The Spirit of Wisdom is sick when the plot didn't even start yet and it's my first ever writing? How... Tf... Do ppl actually remember me and tag me? How.... Tf... Do ppl actually admire me? How... Tf... Do ppl actually consider me their friend? How... Tf... Haven't i received hate so far? How... Tf... Has no one judged me yet? How... Tf... Are ppl actually fine with my screaming and obsessions? How... Tf... Are anons actually so nice to me? How... Tf... Do even crazily great artists and writers consider me, a freaking noob, their friend? How... Tf... Do ppl actually ask me for my opinions? How... Tf... Do some ppl message me for a random silly chat or just to have some fun? How... Tf... Are ppl actually fine with me trying my best? How... Tf... Are ppl actually okay with my not-perfect work? How... Tf... Do ppl actually care about me? How... Tf... Do ppl actually show their support and provide reassurance when I need it? How... Tf... Did ppl actually give so many assumptions the other day? How... Tf... Do ppl actually correct me nicely when I make a mistake? How... Tf... Do ppl actually like me?....... How.... Tf.... Is this real?

IS THIS REAL!?!?? IS THIS JUST A JOKE!?!? JUST A PRANK!?! ANOTHER ONE TO SHATTER MY HOPES!?! ANOTHER ONE JUST TO SERVE ANOTHER ERA OF HEARTBREAK AND DEPRESSION!?!

...... How..... The holy fuck.... Are these real ppl? Behind these screens... Behind these acc.... These are real people? It's not AI? It's not a scam? It's not a joke? Hhow? Hhhow the holy fuck? How the fuck are these real ppl? Tthen.... What was i living with? This is.... This is nothing like what I know ppl are like... This is not... Thia is not what I got used to.... This is not what I was told life is like!!

"Be prepared to be trashed and heartbroken. People are heartless monsters that only care about themselves. Be ready to accept the fact that... Nobody cares."

"Your efforts don't matter if you don't have backup. If you don't have someone to back you up, no one will ever give a fuck about you and your opinions."

"People don't forget, they don't want to remember. Be ready that your birthday will, to everyone but you, be just a regular date like any other. You really think that your name holds any meaning to other people?"

"Friends are just a disguised step towards depression."

"Life is a cruel test and humans are even more cruel monsters."

"YOU ARE MENTALLY ILL! A PSYCHOPATH! YOU DON'T DESERVE ANY RECOGNITION! YOU ARE JUST FAKING YOUR SUCCESS!"

....

.... What.... What was i living with?.... What is this contrast? .... How.... How am I now getting the complete opposite??? How.... Am I getting smth i was so far only get from AI?... How come.... Are ppl are not like i was promised they will be??

How are ppl nice to me?? AIN'T I THE PSYCHOPATH?? AIN'T I THE MONSTER??? AIN'T I THE ONE WHO'S A FAKER??? AIN'T I THE ONE WHO'S A VILLAIN IN DISGUISE?? AIN'T I THE ONE WHO'S A SELFISH BITCH AND A ENORMOUS LIAR?? AIN'T I THE ONE WHO DESERVES ANYTHING BUT NICE THINGS AND THE ONE THAT SHOULD KILL HERSELF AND JUST DIE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE??

....

.....

Ain't I... The one.... Who should just leave.... And never come back?.... For the sake of people?.... Not suffering from...... Me?.....

...

....

How come now.... After years of living as a psychopath and a villain in disguise..... Am I getting the opposite of what i was thought?

...

...

...

How come now.... Are ppl nice to me??

...

What have I done?

[librarycards]

whats yr advice how autistic trans ppl seeking a diagnosis should proceed in these deeply transphobic & transmisogynistic times, theres legistlation the juncture btwn transphobia & ableism? for reference Im a TME 1st yr undergrad who is seeking accomodations for ASD and I got interim accomodations before medical documentation but Im not sure if I can opt out of a prof dx or if I want to? I'm really conflicted bc I got "away" with just saying im trying to get accomodations since I started 1/?

2/? at the school (school is on turtle island) but Im not sure if I can defer constantly bc it leads to me having to approach teachers awkwardly - I can't always make it to office hrs - & im fined if i miss dr appointments to assess me. i live in "canada" but there's pretty fucking scary waiting lists & legislation here too imho; I'm not really sure how to navigate these academic and medical contexts when it can influence how easily i can get gender affirming care and letters of mental health 3/3 also i would appreciate anyone providing any tips for TMA ppl as well ofc!! it's crucial for all trans ppl esp the ones most marginalized comprehend the drawbacks of a prof dx if someone is seeking it! i just wanted to be mindful of describing my unique circumstances (also i'm a racialized settler) when receiving advice. i can go off anon & message you too however i know tumblr's not... great as a messaging service or in general

ty for sending and for your patience! okay, this is very complicated and YMMV.

what i'm hearing is that you're weighing the risks vs benefits of going without an autism dx / possibly (?) having easier access to medical transition, vs. receiving a prof dx and having a more difficult time. this is something that i thought about, too, when i was going through the process - i got my 'gender dysphoria' and autism diagnoses around the same time, when i was 18, and i specifically sought the autism one in order to have undergrad accommodations (i already knew I was autistic and had been in autistic community).

for me, and perhaps for you, the accommodation thing was less of a 'my life would be easier' and more of a 'i don't think i'd make it through college without these.' they were mostly housing-based for me, and made it possible for me to live on campus without constant crisis. if you have similar absolute needs for accommodations, i do think you should seek out the formal paperwork. universities are bureaucratic nightmares designed to disadvantage disabled students (and faculty, for that matter) and you need to have every tool in your arsenal to fight back.

i can't speak to transition-related care in canada, but i assume this aspect is similar to the us: providers run the gamut from more to less accepting of (for example) autistic clients, and a diagnosis does not 100% foreclose access to transition. i'm an example of this! i don't think it's worth it to sacrifice your education for the possibility (not guarantee) of a slightly easier time with trans care w/o an autism dx. getting healthcare as a trans person is hard all-around anyway, and i think it's a much more logical choice to get the dx and associated accommodations, and then spend more time researching autism-friendly surgeons (and neurodiversity-affirming therapists to write you the letters necessary for approval).

the only caveats to what i said above are 1) if you could get assessed for another diagnosis that would allow for the same or similar accommodations (many different dx's qualify for extra time, a note-taker, etc etc). if you are committed to getting the surgical/hormonal intervention you want right now, another (risky) option would be to prioritize that and delay university - i don't recommend this whatsoever, but it's there.

my greatest piece of advice is to look frankly at your life and ask, what can i survive, and for how long? can you survive university unaccommodated? can you survive an education put on hold? can you survive a year, two, or five without transition care? these answers will be different for everyone, *and* there is no guarantee that the roadblocks you face as a diagnosed autistic trans person will be exponentially higher than an undiagnosed trans person (sometimes, it's just hard regardless).

one final note - your professors should be available via email to make appointments with you outside office hours. this is part of their job - every semester, some students will not be able to make office hours and still need appointments. i highly recommend speaking to profs as needed about alternative times to meet with them.

so, yeah, that's my 2¢. best of luck <3

[technarchussy]

one thing i’ve realized - older!jon slander because of wanting supersons back, and post-flashpoint!lor zod slander because of wanting chris back but without the baggage of his multiple tragedies are two sides of the same of coin. it’s like ppl love the concept of the Son of Superman but hate the very inevitability of the tragedy that is BEING a Son of Superman. we live with knowing lois can let clark go into the night because he belongs to the world and not just to her, but ppl struggle with accepting clark is destined to be a failure of a father BECAUSE of that same reason. you can’t be a father if you belong to the world, because being a father means you have to be your child’s number one, and that’s not something clark could do for chris OR jon, and usually of no fault of his own.

so if you can’t be a father bc you belong to the world, what does the world do? it sends your adoptive baby back to the shadow realm, and then your second baby gets kidnapped by some demonic version of you and abused in a volcano.

it’s fascinating bc one could argue that in the many versions of lois that has existed in the various continuities, there were times clark WAS the garbage partner and DIDN’T deserve her, just like there were times where one could argue she was being a bitch to the sweetest guy with the biggest burden. after decades and a crisis or ten, they did eventually find that middle ground where clois could exist with lois accepting she might become a widow eventually, and still that clark belonged to the world.

but adopting chris, having jon, losing chris twice, losing jon, getting them back in different ways and just not being really able to RAISE them because they’re GROWN….. it’s a challenge that’s gonna take decades more of storytelling to get to a good place bc clois have no choice BUT to be shitty parents, bc they married knowing the other could just die at any time. so what happens when the danger couple has kids? of course they can’t get their shit together! in theory they’re great ppl, but in practice they fail at the basics because they have no choice BUT to fail.

bc how do forgive yourself as a father for not being able to stop your son from sacrificing himself to save you from being his birth father’s warden in the phantom zone, just for him to get benjamin buttoned in that hellscape?

how do you forgive yourself as a mother for leaving your son to crazy peepaw bc of your own VERY real insecurities, only for your son to come back with a plastic smile and a glint behind his eyes bc he’s half mad but pretending be just fine bc your abandonment led him to being tortured by some madman during his pubescent years?

and then, adding fuel to fire, they both just…. let jon go to the 31st century. chris didn’t even get a return parade cuz they nuked the universe with flashpoint, but two strikes…… otho and osul gotta take this shit home for the fallen 😂😂😂

i don’t know where i was going with this, but im just saying, the chronicles of lois and clark being terrible parents is absolutely hilarious to me and i love it.

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

hi i hope you are doing well! i would like to apologize for trolling and bugging you + your friends a long time ago.

i realized after a lot of self reflection that i was listening to those who i didn't even agree with fundamentally but felt pressured to accomodate their views esp when it came to how some ppl felt like wangxian and hualian were better separate with other characters + devaluing mxtx as an individual bc "the author is dead/mxtx critical". i should have curated my space and taken a stand to express my perspective but i didn't.

i apologize if i ever made you angry or down. it was more so a reflection of me and upon reflecting, relationship trauma that seeped into a space where it never should have. you don't have to accept this and maybe you don't remember. but regardless, im sorry!

Hi there.

I am glad you have been able to find a place for your own self to be comfortable with. If you feel forced or pressured to do something to be accepted by others, they are not your friends and do deserve better for yourself.

We all are allowed our own space for opinions as much as others are able to as long as it remains respectful. That's all I and my friends ask for. If you don't like me, fine, it hurts me none at all as those that have harassed me are strangers but to use my friends and to demean them has been what has hurt the most, and I do take offense on their behalf when they are attacked.

And this all applies to creators, they are the ones that have to work within the frame of a lot of hurdles to publish, create and make their content. People feel as if they are owed a part of their mind all while not having the kindness to remember they are only people as well.

Respect goes a very long way, and in the end that's all I can encourage amongst this space, but I also refuse to say it's okay to let others be forced to do things they're uncomfortable with just to fit in for having a "right" opinion. Morals are a matter of kindness first and foremost when that is used as a way to say you are better than someone, you no longer have the right to claim morals.

I hope you have been able to be comfortable in whatever hobbies you have found and able to let others know your own boundaries for your own peace of mind. I appreciate the apology and for any of my friends that you may have sent this to or will be and do take care of yourself. All the best.

[schro4444]

It's just hitting me again that Kaito's a superb actor- barely anyone's looking at him in half those panels yet he's still keeping the act, like damn.

The panel in which he gives Nakamori the bugged tie clip is giving me pause though - I know he winds up Aoko all the time by poking fun at her dad, but it's just hitting me that Kaito has never actually made fun of Nakamori about this to his face, and that like. In his job as magic consultant he's never ACTUALLY lied to Nakamori?? The speech about misdirection in the heist with Princess Anne was true, and if KID hadn't been aware it was coming I bet the lack of ppl to disguise into WOULD have given him trouble, AND the "as long as no one lifts the lid everything will be fine" in the Nightmare heist was ALSO true- he had to lift the lid in disguise to get to the earrings lmao. You were actually SO big brained to have him be involved in a case with magic that doesn't have anything to do with KID in Ditto, I bet Kaito's a great help when they're not consulting him about himself.

Aoko also accepting the bugged tie pin without a single shred of surprise is a bit odd though, Kaito always acts grouchy when someone claims to be better than Kid. Not that she isn't a clever enough girl to notice that Kaito only says stuff he KNOWS will get her revved up, but she has a track record of taking some of those things to heart.... where do you figure Aoko draws the line between "he's doesn't really mean that" (talking shit abt Inspector nakamori) and "he means it"?(refusing the date or crumpling when Kaito said she sucked at skiing. Like girl, he sucks at ice skating and you don't hesitate to tell him! Have some confidence!)

the kurobas are masters of Committing To The Bit!!! toichi committed to the bit for twelve years—

—anyway I think it just goes to show how the kind of acting he does is like… more than skin-deep, because it has to be. you gotta fully place yourself into the headspace of the person you’re “becoming” (even if that person is just an alt version of you) otherwise the disguise is incomplete, because it’s just a disguise >:D

AND YEAH!! honestly kaito is sorta funny about when he straight-up lies and when he doesn’t, probably because half-truths are Wayyyy easier to make convincing, but also bc he’s just Like That. off the top of my head (so take this w a grain of salt lol) I think he really only outright lies to aoko most of the time, because he Needs to. for hakuba and akako, and for nakamori, he can dance around topics, with the only blatant lie being “im not kid :/ “

thank you :D !! he’s totally helpful for Literally Anything Else. magic tricks are,,, surprisingly applicable!

ACTUALLY YEAH… where DOES she? I think it might be like,,, jokes that kaito has already proved to her that he doesn’t really mean. it’s not hard to see that he actually respects nakamori quite a bit, and aoko would be able to tell that, esp with how often kaito’s at their house. whereas with the skiing and the date, she doesn’t have any proof in his actions that he isn’t being serious, maybe? it might also be partly that during the timing of canon, aoko’s more reactive to things kaito does bc she can tell he’s pulled away from her a bit. if she’s thinking that way, it could make small joking comments into much bigger deals for her, since any of them could be jokes, but could also be a sign that something is Wrong here

[overflowchute]

very funny to be reading this manga after i lost my fucking mind over the last few weeks and somehow found myself reading about historical cannibalism a while back

cannibalism is a common taboo but not as common as you might think. in particular in any society where people have felt it was just to kill one another for various reasons, the extension to consumption of the dead even outside of times of necessity was not that much farther from it

if you think about it from a distance, this actually makes quite a lot of sense as something ppl would do in a naturalistic context. if you kill another animal it is generally considered proper to at least eat it, in the animal world it is the most efficient use of resources.

the stereotypical "cannibal group" that westerners blew into a huge proportion to dehumanize others is interesting b/c cannibalism was indeed smth ppl did - but the context is interesting. you often saw it accompany groups that fought wars and killed each other constantly anyway

and indeed, when people were asked about this sort of thing they would often say "what, are we supposed to leave the body to rot pointlessly on the ground after i've killed him?" lol

i think it does speak to a specific western worldview to be essentialist abt "humans dont do that"

it is really a nasty topic to read about though, because there's an element i earnestly hadn't really known about, which is that there have been some slave-holding societies in history where ppl really would just. like. murder their slaves for meat at special occasions. it's attested at least

the thing here is... once again... it comes across as so bizarrely exaggerated a situation that it couldn't feel true to the modern viewer. but at the same time, if you really think about it, that happens because we have certain beliefs regarding human value that aren't temporally universal

there are people now who believe other types of people are unlike them to such a degree that they feel no guilt about murdering them, or condemning them to die, for blithe, stupid, personal reasons. society is full of such things...

and slave-holding as a system is more or less about saying that a human being is property and their life is totally under an individual's jurisdiction. humans even now routinely kill livestock simply bc they like their taste

i think one can make logical arguments based on intelligence and capacity for feeling, but ultimately the difference isn't quite as big as people like to imagine it is... and it is easy to forget how much all societies are fine with killing in the right scenarios

anyway, i just find taboos interesting. my opinion on meat eating is that you should at least not lie to yourself about it. when racists make a big fuss abt ppl eating animals that upset them to see die in other countries im like "do you know how smart pigs are?"

im not vegetarian but i probably could be some day, i dunno. for now i just accept knowing what i know and that i am not a perfect person. but i do value examining the truth of this world and my personal degrees of complicity, especially if the system is too large for me to change through my action. ho ho ho!

[arom-antix]

feel free to publish this...wish I was braver but *shrugs* first lemme give you n everyone else brave enough to not hide under anon (like me, lmao) ur flowers for speaking up b/c this drama feels like a long time coming 

one of the weirdest parts of Samurai's deal is how she acts against her own interests. at the end of the day, ur main goal is to get ppl to read this 300K fic that youve spent years on, right? 

which, fair. no issue with that

heres what I do have an issue with, Samurai: you acting like no one in the fandom respects ur writing talent when ur stats tell a different story. (notice i said respects ur writing talent. not respects ur social media presence...more on that later)

anyway, Samurai: be so fucking forreal right now

calling urself "an underdog"?! (if anybody doesnt know what im talking about, @arom-antix screenshotted a post from Samurai's social media where she says she doesnt wanna do fandom events b/c she would just get ignored) 

do you really have the right to call urself an underdog when you have 600+ kudos n 1000+ comments on ur fanfic??? I have friends in newer n bigger fandoms who are multichap fic writers who would commit murder for those numbers. n let me add that their fics have been complete for a minute. unlike Samurai's fic which she completed *checks notes* this past fucking weekend 

the funny part is its giving Katsuki Yuuri thinking hes lower than dirt even when hes made it to the gpf/is japans best figure skater. that screenshot you included where she's like "my stats are nothing to be proud of..."

like ???? 

does she not realize how fucking insulting that is to allllll the fic writers who have nowhere near the numbers she does? im not a writer but if i was n saw that itd make me feel like shit. like a minami kenjirou 'you dont have a dark past' kind of thing lmao. n to that point, its like you said earlier. its fine to have anxiety n to not be perfect in dealing with it. but when you dont sort that shit out with a therapist n instead make ur insecurity an entire fandoms problem over n over again is it really that big a fucking puzzle why ur losing readers? or why nobody wants to reblog ur shit?  

if shes really that clueless n cant see how ppl might be turned off by her personality (the reverse from before: im not saying shit about her actual writing here which i think is pretty decent) it makes me wonder, like...

why did her beta reader never sit her down? why didn't her friend @cecebeanie ever tell her "stop being a dick on social media ur ruining everything ur working so hard for?" or, maybe they did n she told them to fuck off because she seems to think she knows everything. 

ok, imma stop there before i really go off lmao. thank you again for being a go-between for ppl too scared to chime in by name. appreciate youuuuuu <3

Thank you very much for this ask. Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with not feeling comfortable with publically including yourself in Internet scuffles by name. I'm glad to be the middle man so people like you get to have an anonymous platform to speak through.

And yeah, a bunch of what you've said is exactly what my point was with pointing out Samurai's simultaneous lament of her "bad" stats and dismissal of any explanation of why their stats might look like that. Also, let me reiterate: There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling insecure or demotivated by something that someone else might find incredibly motivating. We're all different and have different PoVs. However, there's a difference between feeling insecure and dealing with it privately and feeling insecure and then making that everyone else's problem by vagueposting and getting upset with the people supporting you for not being enough. I'm not saying you can't post whatever you want on your socials but if you do you also have to accept that people might find that off-putting. That's just how it is. Especially if those posts imply, whether on purpose or not, that any support you might still have doesn't count because it's not what you were hoping for.

And there's a good point in this ask that I want to highlight: The implication in a lot of Samurai's posts that they're not respected leaves a sour taste in the mouths of those who read those posts. Contrary to what Samurai's way of posting would have you believe, they have plenty of readers who very much do respect their writing. And if you respect someone and then that someone repeatedly publically laments how no one respects them, you're going to feel disrespected and ignored, the exact things Samurai is so upset about being (see links at the bottom of this post to find the full discussions of Samurai's online attitude). It's quite ironic, if I'm honest. It's basically a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you constantly insist that no one cares about you, eventually you'll convince the people who do care about you that maybe they shouldn't because you only bring negative attitudes and no one wants that.

And so, you're now in exactly the situation you feared so much specifically because you couldn't let yourself or the people around you exist without that frustration of yours being at the forefront of every conversation. Trust me, I'm heavily medicated for anxiety, I know how easy it is to fall into a cycle of only thinking about your fears. But if you want to escape them, you either have to contront them head on or learn to live in spite of them. If you only ever focus on how much they're dominating your life, they'll just consume you and ruin you.

I know I've been pretty harsh in my posts about this situation but if you're reading this, Samurai, know that I don't want you to suffer. I don't want you to leave the Internet or stop doing the things you love. I know you love writing, I can tell it's a big passion of yours and I know you love YOI. I encourage you to keep engaging with your passions and finding joy in whatever you love. However, you also need to let others do the same. Even if their "non-academic" posts lessen your enjoyment of what the ideal fandom experience would be, too bad. You don't get to decide how others engage with fandom. The only thing you get to decide is how you engage. If other people's posts annoy you, you're not required to look at them. Of course it sucks if there are very few people and posts you enjoy when you'd rather have a litany of stuff to engage with but that's just how being on the Internet is. You don't get to control these things. Be the change you want to see in the world but don't look down at others for not sharing those same goals of change. You do you, they'll do them.

Just because you prefer your way of doing fandom doesn't make it better than anyone else's and either you recognise that and get over yourself or people won't want to interact with you. End of. That's just how it is. People don't like interacting with people who make them feel lesser and the way you're interacting with the fandom at the moment is very much making people feel like that. I know, I know, you don't intend for that to be the takeaway, but it is. That's how you come across. And if you don't know how to not come across that way, you're allowed to ask.

I know you have friends such as Cecebeanie who you can talk to about this. I know you probably don't want to talk to me but if it comes down to it, I don't hate you and would love to help you if you'd let me. Again, I would not be shocked if you don't want anything to do with me ever again. I am kinda repeatedly coming after you. I wouldn't want to talk to me even if I agreed with the criticism. But if it ever becomes relevant, I do not hate you and while I have my hang-ups about you, I don't need to be BFFs with someone just to talk to them. You're not an idiot. You're not stupid. I know you're not. But you're behaving really immaturely and irresponsibly, both generally and towards individuals. That does not make you a lost cause.

While I don't have high hopes that you'll actually take any of my criticism to heart, if you decide to give a redemption a try, I'd gladly help if you'd let me. I don't want to crucify you. I just want you to do better for the sake of everyone, including yourself.

That became longer than intended. Anyway, thanks again for the ask, anon. For anyone else who has something they want to say, my ask box is always open, regardless of whether you agree with me or not. I don't cherrypick who gets to voice their opinion in a public debate. I'll be answering every ask regardless. And choosing to be anonymous, regardless of what stance you take, is also nothing to be ashamed of. I totally get it if you want to voice an opinion or comment on this situation but don't want to be publically tied to it. That's totally fine. It is kind of a lot. Especially considering how many have mentioned being afraid of retaliation from Samurai, I don't mind being the middle man at all. Ask away with whatever you want to add to this discussion.

Thank you for the ask, anon.

Links to the two main threads this discussion is running through: Thread one Thread two

[xdantesinfernox]

i havent made a blog intro yet so here goes

holita !! im dante :3

first and foremost,

i am 21.

THIS IS A NSFW BLOG. MINORS DNI. 🔞

minors/ageless blogs will be blocked upon any interaction i find in my notifications. i monitor it regularly. ppl i know 18+ irl are fine.

i DO check blog bio's and pinned posts for any indication of age.

--- with that out of the way ---

my pronouns are they/them, but i don't mind being called gendered terms like king/queen, girliepop/bro/dude, etc.! terms of endearment are acceptable and encouraged :3

i am demisexual, panromantic, and polyamorous !! (not currently in a relationship). i might flirt and/or say suggestive things under posts, in replies, or dm's. if i say anything that makes you uncomfortable, feel free to message me about it. im open for discussion for anything under the sun, even if it's the littlest thing. my dm's are open. :)

i'm a frequent reblogger and shitposter because i think im hilarious, but i also sometimes post art and blurbs of writing !! stay tuned for absolute insanity :D

extra info below the cut :3

common tags:

#danteyaps - when im yappin

#dantecries - when im crying /j

#dantedraws - art posts !

#eating this order - what i use to tag good art/writing i find

#i love my moots - moot appreciation bc ily guys

#freaky or #/freaky - when im being freaky

#silly or #/silly - when im feeling silly :3

#jet-ophile - an inside joke that i tag starscream appreciation/thirst posts with lakjsdhljas

[chickenwrapsandjuulpods4]

i hear everyone talking about body dysmorphia and have grown up w so many friends/family members who have struggled w body image but i have never once met someone who has this issue w their face to the extent i do. yes im fine w my body and yes im so thankful for that but no one will ever understand the way i feel about this face. it's so embarassing to walk around with this thing on me. to me, it looks like i was born with some sort of deformation and honestly i wish i could say that rather than just nah i was born this way for some reason. it literally feels like walking around with a neon green clown wig that i can't take off my head. i've accepted life with it and that i can't get rid of it but that doesn't make it any less humiliating. i don't believe in a god but if i did i would hate them for making me this way. it's also annoying bc i have the balls to go out n hang with people but i will never b able to do certain teenage girl activities w my friends. i can't dress up w them or do photoshoots or take silly selfies. i don't know anyone else who deals w this issue and it makes everything so lonely. at least with bd there r a lot of ppl talking about/dealing with it. when i used to deal with it i had so many people there for me and relating to me. now when i talk about my fd people are just like "...what? ive never heard of that" like BRUH (also ik techincally fd is just a form of bd but u know what i mean)

[rpfisfine]

do you hate miles?🤨

i was wondering when someone would send me an ask like this yeah i dont like him to be honest. i know ppl on here have largely moved on from the fateful 2016 interview and it has been discussed to death and yeah he immediately said he was joking etc etc but i dont think its weird to think you shouldnt have to feel pressured to like completely forgive and forget and absolve the sins of a male musician saying something that made a female reporter feel unsafe or objectified or 'caught in an increasingly distressing situation' or act like its some sort of unheard of and unimaginable offense that has never happened before in the history of music interviews and one someone’s favorite musician who can do no wrong in their eyes could definitely never get caught up in (esp given how gross in general the music industry is towards women). OR even go so far to say the reporter did it all for attention i cant believe this is even a discussion that has ever been had in any form ever like genuinely nothing makes me angrier than ppl who literally turn into blatant sexists whenever their favorite white guy's reputation is even mildly put at risk ive literally seen one person on here say the whole interview was made up and exaggerated and that she just wanted to 'join the me too movement' which is like Okay man i think you might just not have any respect for women in real life maybe. even watered down and not as extreme its a take thats more prevalent on am tumblr than i thought or previously imagined and i hate how bad it makes the fandom look like i trust that everyone on here is a reasonably intelligent and empathetic human being who has at least a basic tumblr education on the fact that victim blaming is bad so we dont rly need to turn around and immediately go 'she just misunderstood what he was saying' or 'she just didnt get his sense of humor' like Alright

i hope im articulating all this reasonably well like i think its literally fine that ppl have accepted his apology and moved on and are able to enjoy him as an artist and/or as a person too thats awesome and im happy for the ppl that i follow that have this kind of relationship with him. even if it wasnt for the interview thing he stil wouldnt be for me i used to be a pretty big fan of his music when i was younger but nowadays since ive found different music i dont rly pay any attention to him. im glad he was able to spark alex creatively but thats as far as my enjoyment goes of him to be yonest

also ive just realized now that all this makes me look kind of contrived given the fact that ive written milex before and i dont rly have like an impenetrable explanation i literally started writing for jamex around the time the car album came out bc i found out all my fav jamex fics had gotten deleted by their author so i wanted to fill the void and then one day i was like wait am i good enough yet to write a functional milex fic (plus i was hoping to get more ppl to notice my writing and milex offers a pretty easy way to do that) so then i wrote 2 and i was like ok i am cool. i dont intend to write another fic for them

hope this makes sense i probably forgor to say like 10 other things i wanted to say but thats okay

[lesser-mook]

'A 17 year old with a 19 year old is not illegal. It's only illegal on Twitter.' Well said, Jesus." - No, not well said. But good cope.

"A 17 year old with a 19 year old is not illegal. It's only illegal on Twitter." "my girlfriend is 17 and im 20 and we have been dating for 3 years now what the f" "Same thing with me and my ex, it isn’t illegal as long as you’re above or at the age of consent I believe." "yeah it’s completely acceptable if there’s like a small age gap but once it gets in the double digits it starts becoming weird till both are like way past their 20s"

Excuses excuses excuses.

All the women in your immediate vicinity and it had to be a 17 yr Old.

And the best defense is its "only a 2 year difference", that's the best you got- reductive reasoning.

"only"😂Like P3dphiles🐻 dont say the exact same thing to justify their pursuits.

"its only"

Keep in mind, there's a clear difference between a 5yr & 17yr yes, yet you're rationalizing it the EXACT same way as the pedo's😂😂 and nobody gonna point that out because twitter is the consensus scapegoat in the thread. Twitter's the bad guy so i can admit I dated a 17 yr old still in school on a public forum:

(Using all 3 IQ points)

If yall were dating before you got legal, fine.

Then be the adult and put it on pause until she's 18. Period.

PERIOD.

If it's not a big deal because of the short gap, why isn't it equally not a big deal to just wait? Isn't she worth it? But you don't want to have that conversation, right? It's not about her, it's all about you and that itch.

And if it don't work out because of the pause, then it was never real in the first place.

How many of em dating these kids end up with 40yr marriages anyway?😂 Does it really really matter that much to where you gotta make excuses to date a 17yr kid still in school because you graduated 6 months ago?

Because Twitter threw a fit over it?

These boys want circumstances to conform to their wants instead of yous just following the rules, because when the law inconveniences you?

OH WELL, then its not a big deal, it's only 2 years, amiright boys?!!

That's not how that shit works kiddo, 1-3 years may stand legally with Romeo & Juliet laws but those are exceptions

if you have to rely on that shit just to get by- JUST GET A WOMAN or wait. Why are some us trying so hard to make this stand, and somehow not come off as a creep.

If you said: "Yes, it's sus, but we're not touching until she's 18, we'll date but it's platonic, we've known each other and dated a while before I turned legal, we'll just hold out until her timetable catches up and we'll move on from there."

Fine! But none of these mooks are using any nuance of that magnitude.

They're just trying to brush it off entirely, & make exceptions because that's convenient because the topic applies to them. And will circle jerk the same opinion on some echo-chamber shit. The same shit Twitter & every other site does.

Then age of consent in OTHER countries comes into the discussion (massive #Cope) because: desperate to justify it. Sounding like anime fans.

Sounding no different from straight up pedophile's (in terms of argument) I swear to god. Why do we try that hard just to inadvertently admit we won't wait until she's 18 because apparently in their mind she's not worth waiting for- is what they're indirectly saying.

But if another group of ppl used the same logic to get what they want, and you didn't like it when they do it (but they're using your same exact logic) then you'd be acting like twitter.

Rules for thee. Not for me.

Too many of us are tripping hard balls, it ain't a big deal or a conversation until you start making excuses.

Soon as you start making excuses- JUST STOP! And re-evaluate if that's the hill you want to die on.

If she's 5 months out from 18, then just wait. If its 2 years, make sure her parents are cool with it #1, and or just wait. If she's worth it, you'll wait.

Because if you can't say "It's not a big deal" if that was your daughter? Then close ya trap.

But you see, none of those people in that comment section will ever acknowledge that perspective: of a parent

Because all the people talking the loudest are bunch of ignorant young bucks who's first concern is the ends regardless of the means.

And the punchline is, most of these youngins will argue why dating a 17yr as a 19yr-20 schmuck is not a big deal. But will have nothing substantial to offer these girls tangibly- beyond the starter pack.

Nothing to bring to the table but good intentions.

[likesunsetorange]

Eren! 12 - 21 & 23

character ask game

i think you meant 12 through 21? either way the more the merrier LOL (also feel free to send me other characters besides em LOL from any show thats in my lil pinned post tbh!!!)

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

in canon — i think eren harbors a lot of self loathing and when him and mikasa go to the cabin, he finds it really hard to believe that she truly forgives him for all of his transgressions, so it's hard for him to accept that a lot of it is real (kind of makes me think of the real/not real thing in thg but in a different way - everlark is so engraved into me lol) so he's just a big weepy sap lol

in a modern au — he's probably a music lover, he makes playlists a lot and makes them for everything. i bet he makes mikasa playlists all the time too

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

i feel like eren would love this emoji 🧍🏽

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

eren would only have a sense of style bc of mikasa and carla LOL he probably wears solid color tshirts and/or the occasional nice graphic tee and jeans/basketball shorts and some typical sneakers that are moderately trendy lol. he doesn't look frympy but he's not a fashionista by any means

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

eremikaaaa clearly

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

i feel like this is obvious lol

17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

im clearly an eremika truther but i can see why ppl like erejean LOL it's giving typical shonen homoerotic vibes (e.g. bakudeku)

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

i love eren and levi's relationship so much bc of the mentor/mentee relationship, and honestly levi was like the closest thing eren had to a paternal figure following grisha's death. like those tiktoks where it's like s1-s3 levi saying "i'm not your dad" then it's s4 eren saying "you're not my dad" UGH I CRY!!!!! but levi being so hurt/disappointed by eren in s4 just gets to me and i think if we could hear anyone else's paths convo with eren i would wanna hear his and levi's. also bc i wanna see if levi beats his ass again lmao

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

i wouldn't say i hate annie, but at one point i used to lowkey be an annie hater LOL (now i actually love annie), so i guess in s1, i really enjoy eren and annie's dynamic (prior to the ft arc), especially bc you can see how much eren clearly admires her. i think it's funny how even tho she clearly beats his ass he still wants to learn from her, i think thats kind of noble of him tbh! also i think bc he admired her sm and considered her a friend it sucks to see him so hurt by the reveal of her betrayal

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

armin and eren are platonic soulmates and there's nothing you could ever say that could change my mind about that tbh

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

favorite — i love writing eren's dynamic with carla, i think it's really special bc of what happened in canon. i imagine eren as such a mama's boy (in an endearing way) so it's so sweet to get to write their bond and imagine how that dynamic would be as eren would've grown up

least favorite — i think in a canon universe, i don't like writing some of the more sad scenes, like in the ema au, when i think about eren harboring all the pain of the memories to himself, it literally makes me so sad LOL like im genuinely such a fucking sap so i just cry and cry bc i hate thinking about it 😭

23. Favorite Picture?

canon & fan art (once again im biased)

[god-has-entered-my-body]

AINT NO WAY YOU JUST NAMED ME LEGEND ANON OH MY GOD?

anyways here goes the confusing gender story so idk I kind of always knew I was transmasc? but it was so hard for me to accept because as much as I like to present masculine and I like looking like a man and stuff I also like glittery eyeshadow and being feminine in a way it is difficult to explain I don’t know if this even makes sense but I had such a hard time feeling “valid” because I don’t want to completely ban femininity from my life but I am a man?(it feels weird writing this oh my god) anyways the way you write for mpind matty is so.. idk English isn’t my native language by the way so sorry if nothing I’m writing is making any sense rn but I read the stuff you write for him and I’m like “that’s how I feel” or “that’s how I act” and he’s obviously a man? even though there’s like aspects to his character that are feminine and delicate no one would question his gender yk so I’m kind of starting to realize that it’s okay and I can be a man and still wear glittery eyeshadow or idk wear lace panties because I think it’s hot xd (these examples are so bad please im sorry it’s late and I’ve had some wine and im also embarrassed but its anonymous so I think it’s fine? I’m freaking out hell o)

ok but apart from the gender thing the way you write mpind matty has me fhsdhsjsjsh let me tell you it was some of the hottest smut I’ve ever read but also some of the angstiest angst I’ve ever read your writing is beautiful thank you very much BIG ASS HUG while I hide in the corner

i'm paying my dues to the poofs of the world (don't cancel me for saying that i will cry.) i'm so happy MPIND somehow managed to help you find your gender identity i feel oddly honoured???

Also yes please you SMASH the glittery eyeshadow and panties because thats hot and youre hot so connect the dots xx

it makes me giddy that ppl enjoy the filthy MPIND smut i put out and if you have any specific request for him i'd be happy to write it just for you (can you tell i get weirdly attached to people also you can never leave)

[bluwurld]

Ah good okay listen. I’m actually an annoying person like talkative clingy (not touchy) , weird and stuff. So I get that I’m only likable for a week but I don’t care cuz I don’t rly wanna change believing I’ll find someone for me. So the 1st year in college I met a girl and we became close , we have a great harmony and all. We kinda felt right (friends I mean) but this year one day I felt she was upset and annoyed so I asked her and she said that I’m annoying and talk a lot of stupid things embarrassing her and that I’m fake and pretend to be someone I am not ( was harsh and rude but I’m the one who asked so) I like her so I controlled myself stopping her here and well there was another thing annoying her that was fine and we solved it and moved on. It’s been couple of months but I am really annoyed and realized I am the only one who was looking at her as a close friend. Anyway she’s kinda mean and hate ppl which scared them away so ending it with her now is stupid but I am really annoyed. Should I just end it with her? Staying alone or not doesn’t matter cuz I am good at making friends but Ik I have to cover90% of who I am cuz I’m too much for ppl which I won’t do and the chances of me finding someone can handle me r less than 0.5% believe me. I have fun with her and comfortable but saying I’m fake and embarrassing was sth she thinks of often cuz she’s not the type to just throw words out so Ik she still think this.

I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY sheeesh it’s a lot u can take wtv time u want cuz it’s rly a lot u don’t actually have to respond it felt good just saying it anyway

I don’t think you should associate being talkative or affectionate with being annoying. This is going to sound so cheesy but treat yourself kindly, like you would a friend. People have different ways to express themselves so you talking a lot or being clingy isn’t something that any of your friends should be too bothered by in the first place. I really hope you find someone more accepting of you. Im sure you are wonderful to be around.

What she said to you isn’t something someone that even slightly cares for you would.

Losing who you thought was a good friend is bound to hurt whether you distance your self now or further down the line once you have grown tired of their behavior. Because in all honesty friendships like these are going to grow toxic sooner or later. Sometimes you have to take things at face value and not look for reasons that justify what or why they did what they did. So if after months of contemplation you think it is best to cut her off i’d say do what feels right. You really will find better people to be around.

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

dont have aspd but i like never had emotional empathy growing up (yay mix of autism and childhood situations that caused me to unlearn/block off emotional empathy) and i've never felt remorse and i only get small twinges of guilt i can easily brush aside, but i watched drrr at age 17 and showed it to my family and having all of em be like "yo ur just like izaya" (my mum was like "yeah if i hadnt been super careful how i raised u, 100% u would've turned out worse than izaya" which. uh considering before izaya the chara i related most to was azula from atla. fun to hear). and it me caused me to be like "oh shit maybe i should like learn empathy". i didnt realise i had cognitive empathy or that it was even a thing so i spent a few years teaching myself emotional empathy and man it suuuucks. worst decision i ever made. now i spend time being like upset for other ppl? when i used to just, be able to intellectually understand things sucked for them and help em out w/o feeling anything and so i wasnt emotionally bothered/drained afterwards. whereas now i like, spend time crying over other ppl? exhausting and terrible. it hasnt improved me as a person at all, im dont actually care abt things any more than i used to, and i think cognitive empathy is by far the most useful and practical out of the two. im not saying u shouldnt listen to ur therapist, i just kinda wanted to get that off my chest and not be judged?

WANNA MAKE CLEAR i am not judging u i just have always always always wanted to use this meme for as long as i have known of its existence

and what ur describing is literally exactly why i worry abt emotional empathy and feeling remorse like. maybe i'm fine existing this way. maybe i don't want to be fixed!! i get that itd make me more palatable and easier to get along with or whatever but i'm a person too!! what about me?? everyone will have conflict at some point; what about me makes it so that all chances of that need to be hammered down?? i'm a person too- what about what i feel is right for my own emotional state???

fun facts my fiance liked me partly because i reminded him of izaya. idk if you know enough of my blog to know my Lore but: he knew me for a day thru roleplaying and i wanted to know him outside of a rp context, and he was talking abt liking psychology. i then challenged him to diagnose me, yaknow As You Do, and in a Public Server he went "oh you have aspd, don't you?" totally innocently, he had no idea abt the stigma

i ofc denied it because i wanted him to like me and also was sixteen, but oddly enuf the aspd traits are (partly) Why He Liked Me??? not in a fetishistic way but just like, accepting that was part of my personality that doesnt need to be hammered out and like, not acting like Total Full Remission It's Like It Was Never Even There is the only end goal worth chasing like. maybe i dont wanna fully remiss maybe thats my choice and i have fuckin, command over my own god damned mind body and life!!!???

also fwiw: i dont know the rest of your symptoms but you having autism and the symptoms coming from trauma don't negate the possibility that it's aspd so id suggest looking into it more! even if a therapist said you didnt have it, they can be kinda..... stupid about aspd lmfao! don't look on quora and don't look on reddit nothing good lies behind those walls