#i will never get over the hot daga

[ghost-in-the-corner]

"What can one do in the face of such monumental loss but breath a weary sigh, for the world is a little quieter now."

This quote? Drives me feral. Absolutely insane. Because it is so beautiful and lyrical, the kind of thing you'd think you'd find in a Victorian novel or an old poem.

But it's from a cartoon made of clip art that was made purely to annoy someone else, posted on YouTube as part of an after show.

[fazfacts]

HOT DAGA SENTENCE STARTERS

it's actually criminal that nobody has done this before. feel free to change as needed!

❝ If you don't like it, you can kiss my buns. ❞

❝ Oh, he looks all pissed off 'cause his hat's still gone. ❞

❝ Good, I'm glad he's pissed. ❞

❝ I hope he crashes into that wall. ❞

❝ Oh shit, he crashed! ❞

❝ Wow! They look like a happy couple. ❞

❝ She's not happy with his driving, I'll tell you that. ❞

❝ Oh, he's on fire, he looks like he's hurting. ❞

❝ What a horrible occurrence that just happened! ❞

❝ What the fuck? ❞

❝ He's gonna come back like Michael Myers. ❞

❝ I can't really tell what it is, but it went by real quick. ❞

❝ Why did you run from me? ❞

❝ I...I didn't know how to tell you, but...we have a son now. ❞

❝ Wait -- I'm so confused... ❞

❝ Hello, [name]. I'm your father, [name]. ❞

❝ Why did you try to shoot me and leave me for dead? ❞

❝ That wasn't me. ❞

❝ It's me, [name], your evil twin sister. ❞

❝ I won't have you two together. You know I love [name]. ❞

❝ Now it's time to die. Mount your crab. ❞

❝ [Name], step aside! ❞

❝ Do you remember where we were? ❞

❝ Who are you? ❞

❝ Nice to meet you. I love you. ❞

❝ Promise you'll never shoot me, [name]. ❞

❝ Let's cover ourselves in mustard and get craaazy! ❞

❝ I hope you never get eaten on the Fourth of July like my parents. ❞

❝ Your words are making me happy, so I am smiling. ❞

❝ Always love each other, no matter where your paths take you. ❞

❝ We are siblings, but also best friends. ❞

❝ Why would we ever fight? ❞

❝ I have seen it in my special dreams. ❞

❝ Let's go eat the rest of Amelia Earheart for dinner. ❞

❝ My funding...my precious funding... ❞

❝ It's all over now. I suppose I'll let myself rot. ❞

❝ I'm in urgent need of your services. ❞

❝ What a shame...I was so close. ❞

❝ That's a good hashtag. ❞

❝ Like my dear old dad used to say, there's no free condiments in life. ❞

❝ Most condiments are free, actually. ❞

❝ How dare you! ❞

❝ Please, respect my father. May he rest in peace. ❞

❝ This talk of your father seems very shoehorned into this conversation. ❞

❝ I'm your son! From the future! ❞

❝ Hoooly shiiit. ❞

❝ Why did you do it, [name]? Why'd you do any of this? ❞

❝ Because, [name], I'm straight-up evil. ❞

❝ That's bad for the fabric of reality and space-time, I think. ❞

❝ Okay, it's technically not murder or anything. ❞

❝ This is what you get. This is the law of the wild. ❞

❝ I can't bear to watch this inevitable carnage. ❞

❝ I just want a picture of this moment. ❞

❝ I need your help to avenge my death. ❞

❝ We're a family again! A real family! ❞

❝ That's a terrible name. ❞

❝ I'm pretty sure this is a trap... ❞

❝ A crow ate one of my eyes at the bank last Labor Day, by the way. That's why I have an eyepatch now. ❞

❝ Did it ever occur to you, [name], that I loved you and your mustache? Well, I don't anymore, and I see you've shaved your mustache, you idiot. ❞

❝ The day we broke up was the best day of my life. ❞

❝ I saw him do a magic trick once where he sat on his own lap. ❞

❝ I'm suddenly afraid my wife will leave me for him, but he's a nice guy, so that's okay. ❞

❝ Wait a minute, you weren't invited! ❞

❝ It's me, [name], and I'd like to welcome you to Hell. Time to die! ❞

❝ I am displeased! But that does sound narratively rich. ❞

❝ Will you press pause on your shit for five minutes? ❞

❝ I now have to imagine a thing I don't want to imagine, under any circumstance? ❞

❝ Are you proud of yourself? ❞

❝ But I cannot attempt to process that at the moment, for the fear of the emotional toll it would take on me. ❞

❝ How'd we survive? ❞

❝ Ooh, what a plot! ❞

❝ We could go back in time to stop it all. ❞

❝ No need to explain that, we'll remember it always. ❞

❝ Thank you for your service. ❞

❝ Enough talky-time, more spacey-time, idiots. ❞

❝ We threw them into a volcano. They're gone. ❞

❝ I don't negotiate with assholes. ❞

❝ I can't believe it -- I'm alive! ❞

❝ Oh, no, no, hey, c'mon. Nothin' to worry about here. ❞

❝ That doesn't make any sense. ❞

❝ My parents were very juicy and I am, too. ❞

❝ You...don't seem trustworthy. ❞

❝ Oh, I'm plenty trustworthy. ❞

❝ So what's your deal again? ❞

❝ Hm. Makes sense if you actually track the story, probably. ❞

❝ I wonder if Earth's tasty. ❞

❝ I'm not one for decision-making. ❞

❝ I'm both the mayor and the sheriff. ❞

❝ Don't worry, you will soon go to jail. ❞

❝ I want to get perfectly sane, haha. ❞

❝ You're getting more and more sane by the day! ❞

❝ Everyone's dying and the world is basically over. ❞

❝ Sometimes your life don't go exactly as you planned. ❞

❝ The fact that I doubted myself for even a split second is some military-grade bullshit. ❞

❝ It's me, [name], and I'm pissed. ❞

❝ I can't die, I'm beloved! ❞

❝ Question: what the hell's going on? ❞

❝ If you do anything dumb, I will kill you with my hat. ❞

❝ You didn't need to do that, by the way. That's cruel. You understand that? ❞

❝ I didn't ask to exist. In fact, I was very content not being. ❞

❝ Look, I'm sorry about doing you dirty. ❞

❝ We've got some things to discuss, you and me. ❞

❝ Ohhh, okay. We're both dead, then. This is for sure a place where we're both dead. ❞

❝ My last memory was me putting a goldfish in my mouth to make my children laugh. Then I choked to death. ❞

❝ Play shitty games, win shitty prizes, [name]. ❞

❝ I was so consumed with hate and anger that I lost sight of who I was. ❞

❝ Are you just, like, checked out of this conversation now? ❞

❝ I'm just a guy in a void. ❞

❝ I got murked and it chilled me out. ❞

❝ That's my catchphrase, now that I'm fun. ❞

❝ Tell you what, I hate this planet. ❞

❝ There's a small part of my funky, no-good heart that's like, "hell yeah." ❞

❝ Hey, you want some money? It's got my face on it. ❞

❝ The one thing I've always said is, "you can definitely trust someone who repeatedly insists that you can trust them," you idiot. ❞

❝ I'm the queen of deception and straight-up dirty tricks. ❞

❝ Game recognize game, however inferior. ❞

❝ I've just had a tremendously confusing dream. ❞

❝ I'm not in the habit of taking drinks from strangers. ❞

❝ But I'm beloved... ❞

❝ I. Don't. Caaare. ❞

❝ It's almost Friday, the day for kissing! ❞

❝ If you value your life, you might consider staying out of mine. ❞

❝ Is there any way we can put this all behind us? ❞

❝ Are you fucking kidding me? You shouldn't have asked that question. ❞

❝ Oh, thank God. I was about to flip my shit. ❞

❝ Full disclosure, no offense: you seem nuts. ❞

❝ My mind is so clever, some describe me as a God. ❞

❝ My name is [name], and I'm here to say: you'll soon straight-up die today. ❞

❝ I'm perfectly sane, so now it's time to play my funny little game. ❞

❝ Where'd you go to college? Detective school? ❞

❝ I'm gonna save your life for my own benefit. ❞

❝ I have no beef with you. You're clearly dealing with some stuff. ❞

❝ Don't worry, I will murder you. ❞

❝ I feel like you're not being receptive to literally any of my shit. ❞

❝ I was hypnotized for many, many years and frankly, I'm not too happy about it. ❞

❝ Well, you can't blame me for that. I'm dead. ❞

❝ I think you could maybe choose not to be complicit in the destruction of the universe. ❞

❝ Jesus Christ, take a breath. ❞

❝ If you don't stop this instant, I'm gonna hug you. ❞

❝ I feel like a happy sunshine person who always wins. ❞

❝ I feel as critically-acclaimed as I always do! ❞

❝ You should know by now, nothing exciting ever happens around here. ❞

❝ Hey, you ever think about what happens after we die? ❞

❝ Sorry for my dad being a dick all the time...and for following his orders without question. ❞

❝ I hate you and I'm glad you look all fucked-up! ❞

❝ Namaste or whatever. ❞

❝ I just wanna chill 'til I'm dead. ❞

❝ Whoa, okay. I think I'm gonna die. ❞

❝ Those were the bad guys! Why were you, like, chilling with them? ❞

❝ Man, you really pooped the bed on this one. ❞

❝ Okay, your tone is appropriate and I apologize. ❞

❝ I will miss you, [name], the biggest baller of them all. ❞

❝ I'd actually be double-dead, which is the worst kind of dead. ❞

❝ What can one do in the face of such monumental loss but breathe a weary sigh, for the world is a little quieter now. ❞

❝ Sometimes your death don't go exactly how you planned. ❞

❝ I tried the best I can, but I ain't got the stuff. ❞

❝ Frankly, life's been pretty dope. ❞

❝ I know life's been crazy, but believe me, you'll be fine without me here. ❞

❝ There's really no need to cry. ❞

❝ I know things seem kind of shitty and that the odds aren't looking pretty, but what's the point of quitting now? ❞

❝ I won't be here to see it, but you bet your ass that I believe that you'll still save the day somehow. ❞

❝ If I had a fuckin' bucket, then I got a hunch I'd kick it. ❞

❝ Sorry for the cursing, but I'm feeling worse and worse. ❞

❝ I don't wanna die, but I'm probably gonna die. ❞

❝ I'm dying now, just so we're clear. ❞

❝ Holy shit, this is it, I'm gonna die. ❞

❝ I'll see you later, pals, I'm outta here. ❞

[constantvariations]

V9C7

I am postponing writing a very delicious scene so y’all better appreciate this ;P

Post Ep: these last 3 eps are going to be carrying so much weight but at least we might be working towards Ruby’s decaying arc

Okay, totally random thought while I was watching the OP (I always watch OPs unless they’re particularly awful. It’s a compulsion idk) but I think it’d be hella cool if the blacksmith was Alyx. Whether the real Alyx isn’t the one who made it out or she came back for whatever reason (not dying ever is appealing to some, I hear), it’d be a neat twist

I’m not into 3d animation, so I can’t say a whole lot, but are the textures supposed to be this... weird? Last episode I said Jaune’s house looked like a ps2 game and it just keeps going

“I’m late! I’m late!” Okay, that’s a decent Alice in Wonderland nod. Not overdone or wink wonked, which can be annoying to those who don’t know the joke (man, I should watch Shrek again. The first two movies are masterpieces)

Wait, was that a dammit? Jaune canonically swears now. Huh

“Right on time.” It’s obviously not a time loop so what does this mean? Did the time fruit do more than just send him back in time but gave him even more of a spotlight in Wonderland? He’s a rusted knight, he’s the white rabbit, he’s murbling like he’s the mad hatter; what next, is he gonna be Jesus?

“Hurry! People are counting on us.” Uhhh people counted on you to fight the jabberwock and y’all bailed like frightened horses. I wouldn’t count on you with my fingers, much less my life

PAPER TOWNS MY BELOATHED

Okay, so we’re being hit yet again with the “what are you” question, which wouldn’t be weird if it wasn’t just our protags being bombarded with it. Surely there are some critters who venture over into new areas? Or perhaps new life occurs every now and again? The repetition has been annoying for a while, but it’s venturing into just plain silly “-so that we may serve you.” What. Why. Kill me

While I do like the designs of the paper stars, I’m really not digging the vibes. Sorry stars, you will never be the plupples from the Hot Daga

“Paper pleasers” I hate that I actually like that pun

Why is the team reacting so negatively to the stars being named after them? That’s genuinely fucking sad. Yet another instance of the show zooming by actual trauma for a cheap gag

Dude has spent who know how many years without a genuine personal connection, has been spending that time exploring the area and gaining its people’s trust, AND has shared his home with these people, yet when they talk to him about anything Wonderland related, they act like he’s saying he’s going to make them into shoes or something while having the audacity to be disappointed that he doesn’t have a solid lead on getting out. These girls are deplorable

Why are RWBY so lackluster about doing literal life-saving tasks while Jaune follows a hunch? You’re Hunters, that’s your job. Quit acting like life in Wonderland is beneath you because you don’t understand it jfc

I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many different visual styles in a single show before. There’s the standard 3d, the color silhouettes (solid and textured), some microsoft paint scribbles, a few 2d stills, and now this children’s book style. Feels like an identity crisis

I understand Jaune’s perception of the tree, but I really don’t like how he overrides the autonomy of the villagers. If they’re literally willing to self-mutilate in order to leave, that’s probably a sign that you should let them go

Love how Weiss’s interest in Jaune disappears the moment he shows signs of mental illness. Gives me the warm and fuzzies *smash cut to me barfing in a dumpster*

“Because I can actually protect these people!” That is definitely a response to trauma that fits well with this narrative. Let’s see how MKEK fuck it up!

Jaune kills 2 jabbers in like 0.0003 seconds. Why in the everloving fuck did y’all have to run before?

I’m just realizing this is the first fight I’ve actually paid attention to. No idea why, but every fight previous my eyes have just glazed over. But I gotta say, I think the camera is way too close to the action. There’s definitely some interesting choreography going on but it’s hard to get a grasp on where everyone is at any point, and the bland environment isn’t helping. Go watch John Wick for some pointers

Unsure as to why Ruby is a) the only one apparently traumatized to the point of nearly 180-ing her character and b) why it’s specifically Crescent Rose/combat that triggers her. MKEK know how to throw bones but they can’t dish out any real substance

Someone please give that creature a cough drop or something because I cannot understand a word this fucker says

I thought Neo’s semblance was illusions? Pretty sure it’s called Imagination, which definitely implies it’s not a physical shifting ability. So, if the jabber-Neo had taken a bite of Ruby, would that mean Neo is chomping down? Would Ruby get stabbed with semblance glass? Or did the writers forget their own rules again?

ONCE A FUCKING GAIN WE ARE INTERRUPTED LITERALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMEONE ASKING IF RUBY IS OKAY. WE ARE SEVEN EPISODES INTO A TEN EPISODE SEASON GET THE FUCK ON WITH IT

This “don’t ask me because I’m a leader” bit is really strange coming right off the several minute conversation about finding leads to getting home where not one person even looked at Ruby. Like, this was a request for supporting a platitude not a demand for a plan

“Why do I have to be the one to always pick people up?” First of all, no one asked you to, so jot that down. Second of all, bitch you have never been the sole sally sunshine, nor were you the only one helping others with emotions. Yang picked up Blake in V2, Jaune reassured YOU back in V4, Weiss talked to Yang in V5, Qrow comforted YOU in V7 and his main source of kindness was Clover (rip good boy). You’ve had your moments but don’t act like you’re the only one pulling emotional weight

Also, this voice acting is making me laugh I cannot take this seriously whatsoever

Why in the hickory dickory fuck is Blake hiding behind Yang and YANG WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE YOUR SISTER IS A FUCKING THREAT

In this scenario, it does make sense why Jaune’s the one who snaps, but holy cannoli batman I cannot stop thinking about how much better Yang would’ve been in this position, especially after the group split in V8. Sure, that conflict was contrite to begin with and its resolution unmemorable (did it even resolve? I’m not subjecting myself to V8 again), but it’d be so much spicier if the family divide grew in absence

Skipping right past Ruby’s breakdown to focus on Jaune’s. Huzzah. At least his is more interesting and grounded than hers

Genuinely impressed with Luna’s voice here. Dude should go bananas more often

I am once again asking if the team knows about Penny or if Jaune’s been keeping that juicy bit to himself. The way the camera focused on his mouth made it seem like he was about to confess, but it was a tease. I got narrative blue balls over here man, get on with it

Wasn’t it usually Yang who tried for positivity in dark times? Or did that get left at Beacon too? Blake’s supposed to be the realist, which maybe that’s what she was trying to do here but considering her track record I doubt it

And R leaves WBY behind! Please let this mean we can FINALLY focus on her shit and not cut away from it? And they better bring the cat back or Else

[shipsgaysfordays]

I would like to add that it’s also sometimes singing out the lyrics:

“You’ve gotta believe in yourself even if you’re just a hologram, even if nobody gives a damn.”

Sometimes therapy is saying “it’s rough out here, corn” and not doing anything to better your situation.

[frostironfudge]

I Think I Met You In My Dreams Once - Bucky Barnes - Two

Summary: After receiving an honourable discharge from his military service that was caused by the loss of his arm, James Barnes begins to come to terms with several things. He also finds solace in youtube videos, memes and social media, where he happens to find you.

Pairing: Ex-Military!Bucky Barnes x Fem! Plus Size!Reader (Modern AU)

Chapter Warnings: Descriptions of how Bucky lost his arm, gun fire, injuries, rehabilitation, angst, hurt/comfort, some fluff, ptsd, nightmares, miscommunication, prosthetic malfunction.

Word Count: 5673 Dividers: @firefly-graphics

Fic Masterlist || Main Masterlist || AO3 || Fic Playlist

Chapter One || Chapter Three

The tiny notification burns at the back of your mind all day. You even sent a screenshot to your best-friend. Even though Natasha is on New York time she responds with a hell yes within five minutes. She is nine and a half hours away time zone wise, but she has always been there for you. 

Well ever since you both met on twitter and realised you stayed in the same country and just thirty minutes away from each other. 

It was a story you promised to tell your children. 

Two fangirls turned internet besties to real life besties.

Nat:

You know you should accept, also if he uploads a story, stalk it, screenshot it, and I’ll try tracking him down here. My mission before I come home. Even though he could be anywhere in the continental US

You:

Nat, I do not know how I feel about this? He’s a stranger. Also, could he be from Europe? Oh what if he’s British. *swoon*

Nat:

A stranger who agrees with your bullshit about the hot daga. And you’re turning me over to the authorities for that, I will sue you. If he is British then you are a goner.

Me:

On what grounds? Also idk… about James… like jokes aside.

Nat:

You met me on the internet and look at us now, from One Direction to now other fictional book men and real men. 

You:

Compelling point, alright I will accept.

You switch apps hoping your notification doesn’t disturb his sleep. The notification with his name and profile stays where it was, you click on accept. Letting out an exhale you march forwards to the class that awaits your attendance. 

You:

I did it!

Wait shit I forgot to follow him back! 

Fuck.

Okay now, I did it!

You pause realising you never followed him back, “Shit.” 

Rectifying the error, you settle in, sadly looking at Natasha’s empty seat. She would return soon enough, you coax yourself. 

You open the app again, throwing caution to the wind by leaving him a message. You smile reading it over. Hoping he would find the humour in it, if not you could just delete everything and change your name then shift to Antarctica. They need people there, right?

The professor enters, placing her things on the podium and everyone grows silent at the sound of her timer chiming off. Her only warning to the class to behave or be thrown out.

You keep your phone away not wanting a repeat of what occurred with another student’s phone. You never knew glass screens could crack that horribly. The best place to keep it is on your bag in between your legs on the ground.

“Alright, if you are paying attention well and good, if not I could care less about the way you are wasting money.” She turns her eyes to the slides, and your phone vibrates the screen lighting up, dimly. Thankfully it is set to silent mode.

@.bbarnes has sent you a message.

The professor gives you a weird look, why on earth would anyone be grinning about ethics? She doesn’t smile for ethics either. 

Giving her trademark eye roll she continues forward. Ignoring your presence as always. 

It’s almost tempting fate to try and read his message. You give an upward glance as subtly as possible, Listen big guy I know I asked for your assistance this morning with the exam but could you do me a solid? I need to read his message, please. Pretty please. 

You know it may not pan out, because the Professor is well, anti social so what call or message would even get her out of the classroom? 

You sigh, taking notes, trying to not pretend to drop a pencil and take ten minutes to come back up just to speak to James. 

Bucky wasn’t waiting for your response, no, he knew it was a bold move on his part to send a request based on a simple interaction. He really didn’t know what took over him. 

“Hey, man are you going to keep looking at the phone or play?” Sam’s voice cuts Bucky’s umpteenth check on his notification tab. Okay so maybe he was waiting.

“Oh don’t be harsh on him, he’s wondering if he can slide into a DM.” Steve teases upon returning with their drinks. 

“Stevie.” The man in question warns.

The board game cafe is not too packed and Bucky sits with his left side to the wall. A habit he picked up to avoid lingering gazes. 

“Well if he loses he will have a story for the lucky lady.” Sam tries riling Bucky up, placing a draw two for him.

“Oh Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam,” Bucky tsks, and Sam pales, the longer haired man places a draw four, then a draw four again,

“Uno.” Bucky grins, “Oh and the colour is Yellow.”

Sam groans picking up the draw eight, Steve laughs.

“I told you he is a genius at this game.” The blonde laughs further peeking at Sam’s cards, seeing none of them are yellow, but then Sam does a little, “Aha!”

“Wild card, I pick the colour blue.” Sam crosses his arms, smugly leaning back in his chair. Now the man has to pick up a card. Because Sam knows it's yellow. It has to be.

“You know Sam, you remind me of that meme. The baffled Micheal Scott when Toby returns?” Bucky plucks out his last blue card from his card holder, displaying it and Sam does mimic that scene.

“Oh God. No.” Sam groans, the blue card hits the pile and Bucky raises his beer bottle in cheers, smugly grinning.

“I told you not to pick, Uno.” Steve shrugs, reminding Sam, “And what did you do?”

“I picked Uno.” The man grumbles, deflated.

“One day, one day someone is going to beat his ass in Uno.” Sam forewarns. 

“Right, sore loser.” Bucky rolls his eyes. 

“No, I am putting a curse on you.” Sam waves the cards in a circle around Bucky; he and Steve just laugh.

“Just you wait, one day you’re going to come crying that Sam, Sam the curse is true. That day my brother, I will throw a party.” Sam chuckles while taking a sip of his drink.

“Ooh, I’m scared. Me, losing Uno can only happen in a dream.” Bucky shakes his head, if he slept well enough to dream that is, well, complicated, at best.

“I can’t believe there is someone who agrees about the Hot Daga.” Steve starts and Sam wants to groan.

“Man off limit topic. I’ve seen enough arguments. Can we just enjoy the next board game this little shit is pathetic at, please?” Sam requests and they exchange the Uno for Monopoly Deal.

Amidst the chaos and laughter, Bucky wonders, do you enjoy board games? That would be one of the first things he would ask, if you responded. He was sort of worried about the lack of communication from your end. He hoped you weren’t someone who was scarce to respond to messages.

Bucky checks the time as he walks into the apartment. Alpine jumps up at him, sitting on his left shoulder. He knows the arm will be decided for his keeping or not in a few weeks but he can’t help but feel a longing for it. The job Tony gave him, and the pay he could afford it if he saved enough for a few months. He didn’t want charity or pity. Enough of that was thrown his way. 

Settling in on his couch with Alpine going feral for the liquid treat. Bucky only laughed and cooed at her as she held his arm so he wouldn’t move the packet away from her. 

“You know I won’t take it.” He reminds the little fur ball but she pays him no mind only focused on the flavour of fish. 

When the treat is empty the cat simply moves away going to clean herself on her favourite pillow. 

“Hey, Alpine, I love you.” The cat pauses, looking at Bucky and then blinks both her eyes slowly. Her way of saying I love you as well. He grins then flicks on the TV needing to watch the latest episode of the series he’s just started. 

Soon enough the storyline of the episode isn’t gripping enough and Bucky finds himself drifting off to sleep. 

“Sergeant, fall back, I said,” The radio scrambles, “trap—, fall, retreat—, unit retreat—,” The lieutenant’s voice dies down, Bucky feels dread seep into his bones. 

Not again. He was supposed to get better. 

Flying upward, falling on his arm, two gunshots—he turns his head to the side a fog suddenly surrounding him. 

He’s laying on snow now, cold seeps into his bones. 

He tries getting up but his left arm takes no weight and his right just feels tired. Numb. 

A rustling distracts him, your face visible through the trees, the rest of you obscured. 

What are you doing here? 

He wants to beg of you to leave, you can’t see him like this, broken. He can’t—, he’s back on barren land, surrounded by blazing guns and an inevitable loss. 

Music envelopes the dream his eyebrows furrow, it’s a dream, Bucky needs to leave, he can’t, he can’t stay here. 

There is a weight on his chest and then he feels softness on his cheek, he looks up, your hand? You’re caressing his cheek. 

How is it—

Bucky’s eyes open, Alpine is curled against his cheek. 

A gasp leaves him, his chest rising and falling too quickly. Not enough to keep up. The gunfire from the episode playing triggers his heart rate to still sky rocket. He shuts it off then holds Alpine close letting her purring sooth him. 

His phone gleams drawing him further away from the nightmare/dream. Your name in the notifications makes him smile. 

He’s about to click it to view your profile a second notification from you distracts the task. 

message from @.watchingthemoonlight 

@.watchingthemoonlight:

just so you know i accepted for alpine and i to communicate since i have to formally lodge a complaint against her Hufflepuff father. 

Lol, jokes aside, hope you’re doing okay, if this message caught you at an odd hour we’re probably in different time zones which sucks but at least there is someone who appreciates fine art as i do. I’m sorry if i disturbed your sleeping time. 

Bucky laughs, whole heartedly, he goes onto your profile, opening the first picture you’re with a red haired woman. The goofy smile on your face is endearing the your cheeks have a hint of dimples and your eyes shine at whatever was making you laugh. 

The scrolls through the few rows, a few pictures of coffee cups, some of the sky, a few of books and music and one of you holding up a moon shaped lamp. 

Intently gazing at it as it illuminated your features even in the darkness. He knows this is just a glimpse into who you are, but he cannot help but find you intriguing. 

He goes back to the chat, typing a response waiting for you to reply. 

You owed the big guy up there one. The professor was called out by the head of department. So you lunged for your phone as if a human seeing water after ages. 

You had to read James’ message about three times before it registered in your mind which was moving a mile a minute. 

@.bbarnes:

Alpine might be nocturnal but her business hours for taking feedback on her father are during 9 am to 5 pm and we might be in different timezones yes, and no you didn’t wake me up. I was up anyways, watching a random movie. 

It feels great to know another fine art lover. 

Also we’re both in Hufflepuff so even if you complain about me, only our house points will go down. Think logically, Doll. 

What are you up to? Also what time is it there? 

Your heart skips a beat at the nickname, you don’t read much into it, that could be a habit of his, you shrug it off, typing away. 

@.watchingthemoonlight:

it is around two in the afternoon, i’m stuck in a lecture on ethics. For the first time in my academic life this professor has disappeared mid lecture. 

i will address the concerns i have in the appropriate manner and timing to her. 

yes but your insubordination will be written up, also you could get detention. i am thinking logically. 

glad i didn’t disturb you, what time is it there? 

@.bbarnes:

taking the house down from the inside? do we have our first Hufflepuff dark wizard? gasp, call rita skeeter. 

i think some of my presence has to do with the Professor’s disappearance. 

It’s around four thirty in the morning. i’m based in new york city. 

@.watchingthemoonlight:

check your walls she might be listening in, holy shit she could hack the conversation cause she’s a bug. 🤣🤣 get it cause computer bugs? 

woah the big apple, I’ve been there a few years ago, with family, my best friend hails from there! she’s visiting currently. 

i think you’re right if you got rid of her then i won’t complain to Alpine. 

Also if you’re awake at 4:30 am when are you going to sleep? I know the city never sleeps but you should. 

Bucky wants to laugh at your pun, he smiles knowing you’ve travelled before to the city that is becoming his home. There is an almost ten hour difference between you and him but that doesn’t bother him.

He hopes to deflect your question in regards to his sleep because that is a pandora’s box that he would not like to open. Just yet.

@.bbarnes: 

did you do all touristy things? please tell me you went to the edge observatory deck, it really is a lovely view. 

i will go to bed once i help you survive the remainder of your lecture on ethics. 

@.watchingthemoonlight:

I was visiting cousins down in Atlanta, we drove upto New York on the way to their graduation in boston. 

so effectively there only for twenty four hours, went to the empire state, roamed around times square and then walked for several, whats that word you guys use? Blocks, yes blocks! For gyro from the halal guys, i wish i could eat it every week (i could daily its that good) have you tried it? 

aww, my hero, thank you for your service in being a saviour. 

The thank you for your service drudges up more things to avoid than face. His hand shakes as he types trying to distract his mind. 

@.bbarnes 

what is ‘the halal guys’? 

also only twenty four hours? you have to visit again those hours aren’t enough in nyc. i willbe your personal tour guide if I have to be.

you’re welcome 

@.watchingthemoonlight:

You’ve been in nyc more than twenty four hours and do not know what the halal guys is? 

James, James, James. Go see the link i’m attaching. 

I do plan to visit again, once things work out here.

Have you traveled much? 

Bucky opens the link you send of their locations and menu when a wave of tiredness hits him. The exhaustion finally catching up. He wants to respond to you before he doses off but the second he lays in his own bed he finds sleep wants to pull him into its warm embrace. 

The phone screen gleams in his hold with your message blearily he reads it. 

@.watchinginthemoonlight:

so we got dismissed from the lecture hall so you have saved me, successfully. 

i hope you fell asleep while dreaming of the menu items from the halal guys. 

hope you sleep well, message me when you eat from there or when you wake up.

thank you, James. 

ps. give alpine some treats from me 

Bucky falls asleep with a smile on his face. Dreamless but comforting. 

You snap at a classmate for their sheer stupidity for not labelling the slides correctly for the group project. 

“Yikes, if I knew this would happen to him not replying since three days, I would have packed him in my suitcase.” Natasha sips on her coffee as you settle down near her after that disaster of a group meeting. 

Nothing seems to be going right. Nothing. 

You glance at your phone one more time, the notification tab sits empty and you want to chuck the stupid overpriced glass brick at a wall. 

“Nat.” You glower at her. 

“No look, conversations like these are too be expected its not always going to be continued texting and exchanging memes.” She explains offering you the muffin she brought. 

“I know but I thought the conversations were interesting enough.” You scroll over the past one and a half week’s conversations. 

Maybe declining his offer of scrabble was not such a good idea, you could have powered through, your mind reels despite finding fondness through the conversations had with each other. 

@.bbarnes has sent you a photo

@.bbarnes: 

so i tried The Halal Guys, don’t know why you had to walk blocks and blocks the way is pretty easy. You’re right its really good. 

The photo he sent was chicken over rice and seeing the white sauce had you very, very jealous. 

@.watchingthemoonlight:

can you send me the white sauce? i don’t care about anything else. 

James, please i’m starving here. 

@.bbarnes has sent you a video

He zooms in on the white sauce then turns the camera on himself smugly grinning. 

@.watchingthemoonlight has sent you a picture 

@.bbarnes:

Doll, you need to not pout cause I might just send a FedEx full of the white sauce to you. 

@.watchingthemoonlight:

bring it with your fine self?

(error: message unsent)

You hope he didn’t read it, too risky. But he did read it from the chat list. 

@.watchingthemoonlight has sent you a picture 

Another picture with your own version of kitten eyes. Like puss in the boots.

@.bbarnes:

Alpine has a competitor. Your kitty eyes might just work. 

@.watchingthemoonlight:

Really?

@.bbarnes:

I might just bring it myself. 

He shoots his shot. If it fails he can always erase his internet presence. 

@.watchingthemoonlight:

I’d wait outside the airport with open arms.

She wonders if crossing this territory is a mistake or not. He’s typing so she cannot unsend it. 

@.bbarnes:

For the white sauce?

She shakes her head at his humour, while getting told off by her mother about having the phone out at the dinner table. 

@.watchingthemoonlight:

Of course for the white sauce. 

Bucky shakes his head chuckling, he keeps the phone aside as Sam and Steve begin to bicker again and he adjusts the camera for them, checking the audio levels. This was their 100th livestream so they needed help. 

His screen lights up with a message that has him feel warmth in his chest. 

@.watchingthemoonlight:

the white sauce would be in your bags so the open arms are for you, James. 

You bite your lip, smiling to yourself as you re-read the message sent. 

@.watchingthemoonlight:

hey james? 

just wanted to check in on you, i might not reply since i’m not feeling that great, my test didn’t go well. also my advisor fully butchered me in front of the committee and just, it was brutal. 

I know we had the whole online scrabble game planned but I don’t think I’m up for it… raincheck please?

I’m so sorry. 

Bucky furrows his eyebrows, as he lets Peter perform the checks on arm, they had done a newer coding for more complex movements to convert the neuron signalling, to reduce the lag time. 

He had sent you a bunch of memes, expecting responses since during the different wake sleep hours that is what you both did and the hours that coincided the two of you would talk about random things— tv shows watched, dreams and aspirations. 

He hadn’t yet said anything yet, only keeping it surface level that he was between odd jobs and then found coding. 

“Hey, Pete, can we wait a minute?” He requests and Peter nods going to Kamala for getting more readings on the other participants. 

@.bbarnes:

Hey doll, i’m so sorry this has got you down. If you need to take time then please do, I’m at work right now I will check back in with you in an hour and if you’re up for what I’m thinking, I hope it makes you feel better.

I could also write an anonymous complaint to your university against the professor. Just say the word.

You feel a hint of a smile, honestly the prospect is tempting. Having the professor be reprimanded. You want to cry at how perfect James is, sweet and caring and funny as hell.

@.watchingthemoonlight: 

I hope I didn’t get you down at work, I’ll reply once you’re done, unless I fall asleep. 

@.bbarnes:

You can never get me down, doll. Talking to you is the favourite part of my day. 

Tell you what? Gather around your faves snacks and just give me an hour. 

@.watchingthemoonlight:

It is mine too. 

You smile picking yourself put of bed and finding the snacks as requested and sending him a picture of the gathered items. 

And that was three days ago. 

Bucky tucks his phone back in after reading your reply he walks up to Kamala and Peter to get things back on track. 

They work on fine motor and handling fragile objects just as the session is going to come to a close Tony asks him to use his phone exclusively for the left but the touch wouldn’t register at all. 

He was getting frustrated, it was now beyond the one hour he has promised you.  

“Tony can we please do this tomorrow?” Bucky pleads, his knee bouncing out of the fear of disappointing you on an already hard day. 

“Just need to tinker one last thing grumpy pants. Whats got you so anxious? A date?” The man teases and Bucky lets out a breath of frustration. 

Tony shakes his head smiling knowingly. 

“Okay now try texting her you will be just delayed by ten minutes. Cause here I’m done. Oh use the left hand and Pete record this for me please?” Tony looks at Peter who runs up with his phone set. 

Bucky takes a deep inhale, unlocking his phone but when he goes to open the app to speak to you, his metal thumb cracks through the screen and the phone dies in his arm and then a current shoots through his shoulder. 

He groans as he falls off the chair and Tony and Peter activate the emergency response triage and all Bucky can feel is failure once again. 

Is anything good even meant for him? 

The current still moves through making him shake, Bucky girts his teeth to stop himself from screaming. 

“Barnes I’m dismounting the arm.” Tony says as he begins the process wearing rubber gloves. 

“Get it off! The mounting—,” Bucky yells, the veins in his neck gaining prominence. 

Shuri arrives in quickly locating the kill switch and disabling the arm, they watch as  Bucky begins to even out his breathing, the red tinge that took over his skin starts returning to normal. Wordlessly he gets up not even looking at the arm that was being programmed to be his, he finds himself in the bathroom right hand clutching the sink as the tap runs to mask his sobs.

All he wanted to be doing right now is having a watch party for some movie with you to take your mind off everything. Bucky looks at his reflection, if you knew you wouldn’t look at him or speak to him again.

“Barnes?” Tony knocks on the door and Bucky splashes his face to erase any evidence of tears.

“Yeah?” He keeps his voice clipped.

“This was a one off, you know that right?” Tony takes off his glasses, “It will take time for things to adjust.”

“Please, I, I don’t think I want to be in the trial anymore.” Bucky tries not to let his eyes tear up again.

“Listen, take the next few days off, I do not want you to quit because of a rectifiable set back. If you still do not feel fine, you may withdraw.” 

Bucky meets the older man’s tired but kind gaze.

“You will still be on the coding team, you’re one of the best I’ve seen. Like a sniper almost.” Tony commends they fall into step on their way back to the room. Bucky collects his things and broken phone. 

Bucky takes the subway to find some moments to himself before he is left alone with his thoughts. When he comes home, warms his dinner and absentmindedly plays with Alpine’s feather toy making her chase it. The door bell rings and Peter grins up at him holding a white box with a purple ribbon on it.

Bucky raises an eyebrow in question.

“Mr. Stark noted you wouldn’t stop to get a new phone. Also we didn’t have your plan or sim information and hacking felt very wrong.” Peter laughs, “Also Mr. Stark said you should not leave a lady waiting.” The young intern hands the box and then leaves after cooing at Alpine and petting her.

Bucky stares at the box, he could set up with wifi but he hardly remembers anyone’s contact numbers. Deciding to go to the service provider tomorrow assembles his plan.

On the third day post being shocked by his arm he receives his new phone, the models had to be changed because with his lucky only he got defective pieces. He begins to download all the apps while reading the lines of code, noting down the mistakes on the iPad and then proceeding to correct them. 

“Have you decided yet?” Stark questions when they are running the trial on another participant. 

Bucky shakes his head.

“I’m going to go out on a limb here, are you worried about what the girl whose messages make you go from grumpy to happy thinks?” 

Tony only chuckles when he receives a death glare in return.

“Oh come on. Or do I have to call that gorgeous blond friend of yours and flirt with him till he spills the secret.” The head researcher keeps teasing.

“Tony,” Bucky says in warning, logging into the app and then noticing your chat having several unread notifications.

“My advice? Tell her, you won’t know till you do.” He places a comforting hand on his shoulder and Bucky opens the chat, scrolling from where he had lost his device. There are well thought out responses to his jokes and posts that he shared along with a string of your own messages.

@.watchingthemoonlight:

james? are you there? 

@.watchingthemoonlight:

morning! i think you got really tired or held up at work, I have decided to stop moping around so bring on more memes. also sending you this really hilarious compilation of each *wheeze* in unsolved. (link attached)

@.watchingthemoonlight:

James, oh my god, that Professor she was kicked out. Apparently she did some money issue and oh shit its this whole thing! when are you free i will send a huge text or voice note depending on what you prefer.

@.watchingthemoonlight:

hey its been almost a day, you aren’t ever AWOL this long… is everything okay? is everyone in the family okay? 

@.watchingthemoonlight:

james?

@.watchingthemoonlight:

i hope everything is alright… take care please, i’m hoping it is all okay…

@.watchingthemoonlight:

hey incase you’re finding these messages annoying i’ll stop them… also if you don’t want to talk anymore, I’d understand… i’m sorry

Bucky groans, that was the last one. God he’s made you think he is ghosting you. Fuck. He goes to the break room, as he types.

@.bbarnes:

Doll, I’m so so so sorry, that evening work just went to chaos, please tell me when are you free, I, could we do a video call? Please?

The seen on his screen gives him hope, then you begin typing and then stop.

You:

Nat, he wants to video call, says he wants to explain things

Nat: 

okay so he’s either going to be a catfish or he is going to explain

You: 

he is not a catfish he sent me a video of him eating the chicken and rice…

Nat: 

right sorry, this assignment is kicking my ass, talk to him, lock your door incase things get steamy 💦💦💦💦

You: 

Natasha.

Nat: 

Y/N. I can feel the sear of your glare, yikes.

Ignoring her you switch apps, going back to James.

@.watchingthemoonlight:

You only have five minutes to explain your absence.

@.bbarnes:

I might need more, doll.

@.watchingthemoonlight:

just call.

Bucky feels his heart pounding, yours does too as the call takes precedence over the phone screen, you connect your headphones for privacy. Answering the call you’re greeted by James’ nervous expression.

“H-hi Doll.” He gives a wave, his face and part of his torso then takes up the screen.

His eyes are so blue? How even is that possible?

You shake your head trying not to drown in those baby blues.

“H-hey, James.” You wave back, taking in his short hair and stubble. 

“So um, I’m going to get right to it,” He scratches the back of his neck.

“Yes, explain yourself.” You glare at him, he pales slightly.

“Doll…” He attempts to find the right words for you.

“Look, if, if you wanted to stop talking a message would do—,”

“I would be a fool to stop talking to you, remember what I said? Talking to you is the best part of my day?” He questions and you nod and Bucky can see that one stray ringlet of your hair bounce.

“Well guess what? Seeing you and talking to you this way may just take the cake.” He beams when you smile.

“Are you okay? I was worried…” You trail off.

“Okay, Y/N, um, this might be a hard conversation but, I think you need to know so I can explain my three day absence.” 

You look at him confused and then he stands blocking the camera with his navy shirt and then he moves back till you can see his legs. 

“James, what—your, your arm? Are, did it, when?” You look from the missing limb to his face, he knows your mind is probably running a mile a minute.

“Remember when I also said I was here and there with things? I was enlisted in the arm from nineteen to twenty six, the last two years I’ve been rehabilitating back…” He watches every expression on your face from shock to understanding to sadness.

“I, James, thank, thank you for trusting me enough to share this part of your life… I’m, I’m sorry you had to go through that ordeal. Is, are you going to the VA or any support groups?” You ask, he nods.

“I um, yeah being in the army does come at a price mentally and emotionally. I enrolled in a trial the arm malfunctioned and I broke my phone and then the replacement phones had manufacturing issues. That is why I was gone. Not, not because I did not want to talk to you, could never want to give up our friendship.” He admits, you smile at him.

“When are you going back to try the arm again? Also I hope you know you are not inadequate without your arm. You’re capable of doing everything you want to.” You say and he sniffles.

“I, thank you, I thought you would not—,” He coughs to cover the emotion taking over his throat.

“Oh, James, no, never, I, please never think I would judge you or base our friendship on you not having your arm, you were serving your country and that is a brave task. I’m sure adjusting back to civilian life is hard enough without all the societal judgemental fuckery bullshit.” You offer a small smile. Encouraging him to feel okay to be vulnerable.

“I was scared to lose you, Doll.” He admits.

“I’ll always be here, James on the other side of the screen.” You promise.

“I’ll always be on this side of the screen too.” he gives you a warm smile.

You both smile at each other knowing the conversation isn’t over but knowing that a new facet of your friendship has bloomed, a deeper root connecting the two of you. 

“Is that an Edward Cullen poster?” Bucky suddenly spots your old poster that never could be brought down because you superglued it.

“Way to ruin a sweet moment.” You roll your eyes at him laughing his butt off.

“Alright, alright, enough.” You warn him, as he still laughs, “I will cut the call, James.”

“Hey, no, no, I’d never given too much into how I would die,” He grins as realisation dawns on you that he is quoting the opening words, “But dying in the place of someone I loved, seems like a good way to go.”

“How many times have you watched it?” You ask bewildered.

“Far too many.” He giggles and you want to beg your brain to never forget that sound.

“You have to watch it with me, you owe me a movie party. As punishment for your misdeeds.” You warn with a smile.

“I’ll gladly pay my dues.” He grins and you both fall into an easy conversation till he has to get back to work and you have to get back to your assignment. The call comes to an end reluctantly. You sigh keeping your phone on the small stand, pulling the textbooks back in place.

As you begin to write the first line, the notification draws your attention back.

@.bbarnes:

just keep the call on, I’ll keep you company and you keep me company. Don’t want to hang up yet.

You smile full of mirth and a chest full of butterflies as the second notification takes up the screen.

@.bbarnes incoming videocall.

AN: hope you enjoyed the chapter!

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[uramichislefttiddie]

Life Lessons With Uramichi Oniisan Alphabet

||Contains: Uramichi Omota + Iketeru Daga||

||Warnings: NSFW||

Reminder! Please don’t comment anything that implies your age, I cannot stop who reads this unfortunately but I can at the very least give out a warning that this contains nsfw content.⚠️

please forgive me I could not stop laughing whilst writing this, I had to skip specific words because it did not sound right to me and my childish behaviour😭

Uramichi Omota:

A: Aftercare (how they treat you afterwards)

If anything all this man will want to do is try and get a good nights rest even if it means only a couple hours of sleep. He will make sure however you are cleaned up and are alright before he deals with himself. He’d never leave you to care for yourself, he always makes sure he cares for you first. He’s very touch starved meaning he makes sure he gets cuddles and kisses before you both drift off into a slumber!

B: Body (his fav part of his body and yours)

His favourite body part on himself most likely would be his muscles specifically his toned arms, I mean he’s a former gymnast so what can you expect? On you his favourite part would be either ass or thighs, the reason mainly being it’s something he can rest on, or another reason being he loves to mark your thighs up not caring if anyone can see, also he just genuinely likes groping your ass however he’ll only do that in privacy, he’d rather not have the risk of someone having just witnessed him groping your ass in public. In make out sessions always expect his hands to be roaming either along your thighs or ass there’s no other option it could be.

C: Cum (well I’m pretty sure you can gather what I mean)

Majority of the time he will make sure to not cum inside you meaning hell either do it over your face or body, however once in awhile if you allow him he will not pass up the opportunity to cum inside you. When I say once in awhile, Uramichi will try and make it near enough every time that you allow him to cum inside, he just loves the idea of having the risk you could end up with having his children. (Russian roulette type beat/j) and a plus to him is that if he can cum in you it means less cleaning to do.

D: Dirty Secret (a secret of theirs that they haven’t told)

Now I get a strong sense that this man really wants to try bondage with ropes especially, wether it be you that’s tied up or him he doesn’t care either way he really wants to try it. But he doesn’t want to scare you off by asking so he still hasn’t mentioned it and he doesn’t want you to start making fun off him about it💀 however you’ve had an inkling for awhile that he’s got something about being tied up.

E: Experiance (Do they know what they’re doing?)

Now he may be 31 years of age but this man has never gone past kissing someone before he met you. You were his first and oh boy he had no clue what he was doing, mainly because he was nervous and couldn’t comprehend what was truly happening. He has watched his fair share of porn etc but when it came down to actually doing it himself he mind had become fog. Overtime though he’s come to learn what you like best and least and has took that into account and now it’s as if he’s been doing it for years.

F: Favourite Position (which he prefers to do)

Now he’ll most likely switch between a mating press or doggy style. The reasoning for mating press is it allows him to be more face to face to you and he can see your face during it which turns him on even more. And let’s be real he more than likely has a breeding kink. So mating press + breeding kink = heaven to him. Now the reason for doggy style is because he loves having your bare ass slam against him and watching it jiggle when he slaps it. He also loves leaving marks on your hips meaning doggy style makes that all the easier.

G: Goofy (do they laugh or are they the serious type)

Uramichi is probably the type of be serious, he might laugh there and than every so often if something a bit funny happens but overall he’s pretty much serious and that’s just him.

H: Hairy (shave? Unshaven?)

Unshaven, however he will trim it if you ask him to, but seeing as he’s 31 I think he couldn’t care less about body hair as it’s normal and he just sees it as a waste of time to have to repeatedly shave.

I: Intamicy (how they’re like in bed)

80% of the time he will be rough, releasing out all the pent up anger and frustration, but he still makes sure your ok. Although there will be them days where he just wants to be more romantic than rough and his whole demeanour will have flipped upside down and he’ll be acting all lovey dovey. Plus most definitely a switch.

J: Jack Off (Do they? Or not?)

Nah, not really, if he’s in that type of mood and your not with him he’ll either wait or come meet you wherever you are so he can get relief.

K: Kink (What kinks they have)

Gagging, Breeding, Bondage, Dacryphilia, cockwarming

L: Length (how big they are)

He’s more girthy than long, he’s probably about 6 inches which is a good length all in all.

M: Motivation (what gets them going)

When you start whining at him for attention or if you raise your voice at him because oh boy that really does set off something in him when you raise your voice.

N: No (something they will not do)

Knife play or anything that could seriously harm you even by accidental.

O: Oral (which they prefer)

He prefers giving than receiving but once in awhile he’d just want you to be the one giving it to him and making him fall under your touch.

P: Pace (how fast they go)

He’s not necessarily fast but rather hard. By that I mean he will go full force into you where both yours skins slap against each other and where he will grunt a lot which oh boy is hot.

Q: Quicke (do they do them?)

Surprisingly he does them a lot seeing as he has work 6 days a week which really only leaves him with one day where it can just be you and him all day. So either he’ll do one in the morning or at night but it depends if he’s feeling too tired after work.

R: Risk (are they one for taking a risk?)

Now he’ll hate someone interrupting so he always makes sure you both do it where the chances of getting interrupted are reduced drastically, plus it’d be very embarrassing for someone to walk in. Usahara now always make sure to knock before making his grand entrance into his apartment. The risk of you getting pregnant kinda excites him in a way so you gotta watch out with this man.

S: Stamina (how many rounds can they go for)

On an average he can last around 2-3 rounds but on a very good day it feels like it’s never ending, he just needs that motivation if you get me.

T: Toys (do they use them)

No. He’s never really been into them and they’ve never sparked his interest.

U: Unfair (are they fair)

He’s quite fair to be honest, he makes sure you both equally get what you both want but there can be times he can be a tease when he’s in one of them type of moods.

V: Volume (how loud they are)

Majority of the time he lets out grunts rather than moans, he gets embarrassed if he moans however after the time you told him you like it when does he doesn’t hold back anymore but like I said most of the time he grunts and breathes heavily.

X: X-ray (what they’re like under there)

Like I said, more girthy than long.

Y: Yearning (how high is their sex drive)

It’s shockingly quite high, although it may not show when he’s near you expect him to be quite touchy most of the time waiting for you to get the signal. In simple terms he’s quite the horn dog.

Z: Zzz (how fast they go to sleep afterwards)

I’ll say it straight. He goes to sleep incredibly fast, but he won’t before he makes sure your cleaned up and settled down!

Iketeru Daga

A: Aftercare (how they treat you afterwards)

This boy will give you the best aftercare ever. You hungry? Ok he’ll go make something for you. You want to go for a drive? Ok he’ll take you for a drive. You want a shower/bath? Ok he’ll go prepare you one. You understand me now. He will double check your ok and cleaned up as best as possible. Will always make sure you’ve gone to the toilet afterwards and have had some water. Will fall asleep with you in his arms always whilst reading to you.

B: Body (his fav part of his body and yours)

His favourite part of his body will be his hands, not only because they’re pleasing to the eye but because he knows his long fingers can make you come undone very quickly and easily and that gives him somewhat of a boost. His favourite part of your body to him will be your lips, he loves the feeling of them when he kisses you or when your kissing him anywhere (😏 /j)

C: Cum (well I’m pretty sure you can gather what I mean)

He loves seeing his cum dripping down your face, the way it leaves a shine along your face just looks so pretty to him. So he prefers to cum over your face or in your mouth to where he can see it dripping down yourself. Don’t get me wrong he’d love to cum in you but he’s responsible and would rather wait until you both want a child so he doesn’t need to worry about getting you pregnant.

D: Dirty Secret (a secret of theirs that they haven’t told)

He likes to be choked. Awhile back you had no clue until you accidentally did and that’s when the game got even more interesting. He really just overall loves seeing you in charge.

E: Experiance (Do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s had a few girlfriends in the past but never gone as far as to do more than make out with them, he’s always said he’d save it for the when the right person comes along and he knows it the right person. But he very much does know what he’s doing, he knows how to make you feel good, he’s done plenty of research.

F: Favourite Position (which he prefers to do)

Reverse cowgirl. He absolutely loves you riding him and if it means reverse cowgirl it allows him to smack your ass and fondle it, also allows him to easily guide you with your hips. Damn he goes berserk when your in this position I tell you.

G: Goofy (do they laugh or are they the serious type)

Do I even need to say? Of course he’s going to be goofy, the man laughs at dick jokes. However once he starts laughing that’s it, he won’t be able to stop for awhile, it’s honestly become uncontrollable.

H: Hairy (shave? Unshaven?)

Honestly, he leaves it down to you and what you prefer, he doesn’t mind if you prefer shaven or not either way he’ll go with what you like.

I: Intamicy (how they’re like in bed)

Probably the slow but long stroke type of guy. He loves the way you start to become impatient and fidgety. He loves the look in your eyes when he’s facing you.

J: Jack Off (Do they? Or not?)

He only will if he hasn’t seen you for a few days or hasn’t been able to do anything with you. He prefers doing it with you actually.

K: Kink (What kinks they have)

Choking, Food Play, Cockwarming, Spit, Praise

L: Length (how big they are)

Longer than girthy, he reaches about 7.5 inches, he can definitely reach the high spots.

M: Motivation (what gets them going)

When you start to praise him, especially with “good boy” that will get him going almost immediately, it just switches something on in his mind so very quickly.

N: No (something they will not do)

He’s willing to try most things as long as you feel safe and he feels safe and you both know to be careful and know how far to go with everything.

O: Oral (which they prefer)

He prefers receiving than giving, he just loves being able to watch you go down on him and struggle. But when you want some he will be more than happy to give.

P: Pace (how fast they go)

Life I previously said, he’s the type of guy that goes slow but he makes sure he’s hitting all the right spots that you like and that gets you going.

Q: Quicke (do they do them?)

He prefers to not have them but if it comes down to it and you really want one he will do so, but don’t expect it to become a regular thing.

R: Risk (are they one for taking a risk?)

Oh he’s scarred many peoples eyes and mind because he simply “forgot” to lock the door and close the curtains/blinds. Poor Uramichi as if he hadn’t enough going on. He doesn’t really want to risk getting you pregnant though, so he will use a condom.

S: Stamina (how many rounds can they go for)

He can go for a straight 3 or more rounds, it normally stops when it’s you that can’t take anymore not the other way round, he always waits until you’ve had your pleasure before he’ll stop.

T: Toys (do they use them)

Now he’d never admit it, but before you two started being sexual he had quite the few toys. He most likely had a flashlight, tenga egg and a cock ring for example. Them type of ones.

U: Unfair (are they fair)

He’s the fairest of them all, he’d make sure your getting what you need and than sort himself out, he’s never once been unfair to you.

V: Volume (how loud they are)

Now…this mans a full on moaner and he has no shame about it. He honestly has that type of pretty moan too, where he whimpers at the same time and he will not look away either. Oh and if your the one sucking him off, be prepared because he can’t hold back at all, it’s honestly like heaven to him.

X: X-ray (what they’re like under there)

As already said he’s quite long compared to others, he reaches about 7.5 inches.

Y: Yearning (how high is their sex drive)

Probably around average but if you get him going well-

Z: Zzz (how fast they go to sleep afterwards)

Will not go to sleep no matter what before you, it always has to be you that falls asleep first before he can fall into a slumber. He always wants to know your safe. And plus if you’ve fallen asleep he will clean you up if you haven’t already, and will leave some water and paracetamol next to you for when you wake up and if he leaves before you in the morning or wakes up before you he’ll always leave a little note next to you too.

[skepticbeliever-bookclub]

Greetings, shippers and readers!

So as we flow our way into Febs, we wanted to follow our path from the swelter of enemies/rivals to lovers to an explosive piece that explores their chemistry; the very vibe that makes them physically intimate and among our choices, the members took us all the way back to another work by one of the first authors we initially celebrated when the book club was in its more tender beginnings! Flash back to 2018 and an author who has blessed us so much since, the vote was unanimous and we read Keeping Out the Cold by blacktofade.

The distinctive skill the author handles the trope of forced intimacy, telepathy, and seeing the world through the eyes of someone who loves you stood out for us as we devoured all 28k of this one. Between their sexual tension, the hilarious character-specific antics, and the little twists on the classic telepathy trope, this fic stands out for its re-readability and actively rocked our world as we continue to chat about the steamiest scenes we'll never forget!

Rating: E

Summary:

After a strange ghostly encounter, Ryan and Shane begin sharing visions via a telepathic bond. AKA: the In Your Eyes AU that no one asked for.

Book Club Thoughts

This whole fic is so intimate. The different ways they touch and intersect, slipping into each other's lives.

I liked how much the two of them wanted to have their hands all over each other right from the beginning, so many casual touches but also they're both very soft and full of want

Sometimes the softer less obvious visions were the softest. The one where he's watching the sea when they're on that ghost hunt was gorgeous

I really like the fact that she really illustrated Shane's attempts to avoid talking about stuff via humor and stubbornness

the fic really begins with an uncanny voice that is them in BFU and it feels like a real deal episode and that's where I gotta give most of my kudos to [the author]. Her ability to write their banter

in the same vein as it being awesome how in character it is, it's also a testament to how the whole "here's the downlow on the location" isn't clunky or anything, it's just so thorough and spot on

the way Ryan fell asleep to the sound of Shane quietly working on the Hot Daga, hearing him type away ….. so domestic already

Ugh when the small moments of touch make you blush while reading you know the fic is good

boy oh boy, [the author] has got some crazy good abilities to make smut very present and so filthy in all the best ways

can I just say I love how wonderfully [the author] writes unspoken emotion and sexual tension into their scenes

i absolutely love that this fic did was a mid-story childhood flashback to back up/flesh out characterization. it's a very movie thing and i looooove it

I'm a slut for when Ryan s healthy childhood bode well for more emotionally maturity and understanding when dealing with Shane's emotional constipation

i love a fic where all the details are so well set up like this that you get as much enjoyment from the reread where you know the ending as you do from the first read where you don't know how it's gonna shake out

WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN US FOR OUR NEXT DISCUSSION? CHECK OUT THE FAQ, AND SEND US AN ASK! IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR FIC RECS, PLEASE CHECK OUT OUR READS, NOMINEES AND BOOK CLUB REC LISTS!

[shyanshippingsociety]

Shyan Shipping Society Fic Promo - March 20 to March 31

last week

more fic promo from the incredible authors at the sss!

March 21

i'll pray you wanna get close to me by 2many2spirits | M, 14K, on-going

Five days in New Orleans and One in LA

liminality by TokyoTiger91 | T, 1K, complete

Ryan stared at the various store window displays as he picked at his fries. It’s not like he actually needed to eat, it was just nice to taste something. He looked over at Shane who had never fully recovered. He didn’t know if it was depression, guilt, dissociation, catatonia, or some mix or collection of various things. It didn't matter how much Ryan told him it wasn’t his fault, he still blamed himself. 

March 22

They’re more like guidelines by BittyBergara | G, 700, complete

All tours will be charged $150 fee for failure to adhere to the following:

March 24

Marionette Classics: The Hot Daga by avenier | G, 400, on-going

Edited by R. Avenier, Assistant Professor of English

Marionette Classics - a leading standard of scholarship in the digital canon of ‘Watcher’ and its associated works - presents a newly annotated and critically examined edition of Shane Madej’s Hot Daga. With almost two hours of performative material, this edition of the Hot Daga is formatted for both general audiences, first-time viewers, and experienced Dagaheads.

[Published by Puppet University Press.]

March 27

you learn something new every day by TokyoTiger91 | NR, 500, complete

Very short little thing about Ryan reminiscing on the time he found out that demons, especially his demon, can actually be very sweet.

let you know me well by 2many2spirits | E, 7K, complete

“You sound a little jealous, Madej,” Ryan teases, but there’s an edge of wonder in his voice that’s setting Shane’s teeth on edge. “Nope,” he says, and pops the p for emphasis. “You have a terrible poker face,” Ryan says, then practically coos, “you don’t need to be jealous, baby.” “Oh my god,” Shane wheezes a laugh, mostly because Ryan’s being a little shit, and just a little ‘cause Ryan calling him baby sets his skin on fire in a way he doesn’t care to examine in the middle of this bar.

or; fellas is it gay to dance to doja cat with your bro?

wrecking ball in a summer dress by ouijaboy | E, 5K, complete

“Skirts are cooler than pants, for a start. They’re swishy. You can twirl in them. It’s fun. And that style fits me properly-- oh! Plus, I don’t have to worry about the length,” he adds. “Pants that reach my ankles? Hard to find. Skirts? Don’t gotta worry about it.”

After doin’ some stuff together, Ryan confronts Shane about his wardrobe, and maaaaaybe decides to join in with indulging it. Sexy GNC vibes abound!

someone’s bringing all the love in this world to me by sleepinghosts | T, 24K, complete

Ryan is only 95% sure it's the drugs, though. Because when he looks back up at the crowd the music is still playing hard and loud and good but everyone is jumping in slow motion. He can’t hear anybody else but the band. All the voices, laughs, and screams suddenly go away. And then the crowd begins to part. It reminds him of being at the beach again. The sea parted just for him, the sun shining on his moment illuminating his dream. The purple lights are no longer flashing; everything is still but between the crowd across the bar. He sees him. Someone tall. Like really tall and the guy is looking back at him as if he’s also witnessing this standstill in time, everything frozen except them and the music.

He's 5% sure it's divine intervention again.

March 30

seksowny by ouijaboy | T, 1K, complete

Ryan regrets letting Shane mess with that grounding talisman right around the time that Steven draws a squiggly little house on his flipchart.

moving right along by idkspookystuff | E, 3K, complete

“This is gonna sound crazy, and if you told me this I would throw you into the loony bin,” Shane warns him. When Ryan just nods in understanding, Shane mutters, “I think I just saw the ghost of Jim Henson.”

Ryan rolls his eyes. “Oh, come on, dude. Stop fucking with me.” Ryan reaches for the door handle, but he must see something in Shane’s eyes, because he stops, all humor drops from his face, and he turns a little pale. “Holy shit, are you serious?”

Shane nods. “FBA.”

if you want to read some more fics, you can always check out our ao3 collection! see you soon! ♡

[rockandroobuckaroll]

With the show being properly over now I'm just gonna try and get all my thoughts out there towards the ending.

First of all, the most important thing... they FINALLY were allowed to plug Watcher at the end. I'm so glad they could, hopefully more people will be brought into this kooky world that Watcher has created and enjoy the content we all love so much.

Secondly, I'm not too sure how to feel about the end. I've never been a particularly emotional type but seeing something I've held so dear for many years come to end like this has genuinely moved me. Unsolved is one of those shows that got me through a lot of tough times in my life. I started watched just before I was leaving college in possibly the darkest time of my life. I was ignoring doing an essay and instead looking up the source for that funny "hey there demons, it's me... ya boi." meme and the rest is history. I fell in love with the show instantly, as I'm sure a lot of other people did. And while I haven't been active in the fandom side of things for that long, maybe a year and a half or so, it's always been there as a distraction from things that were going on in my life.

There have genuinely been times in my life where I'm ready to quit, take a permanent break from life so to speak, but I know there's a new episode coming out friday and I want to wait around for that or I need to know the thrilling conclusion to the hot daga (rip). It's very much been a crutch for me, as Watcher has now also become. There is certainly going to be an Unsolved sized hole in my heart from now on and, to be honest, if it wasn't for Watcher I genuinely wouldn't know how long my future would be without this sort of content on a regular basis.

I'm so proud of these guys for doing the show their way, for ending on their terms and just being happy with all the content they've put out. So what if they never really definitively proved that ghosts are real? So what if they never solved any cases? The show was never about that. It was never about the proof or the groundbreaking new theory that solves the case, it was about Shane and Ryan.

It was about watching them grow into who they are now. It was about watching Ryan go from a timid man who was scared of the slightest gust of wind to laughing in the face of demons. It was about Shane being there to keep Ryan grounded and throw in a joke that always got a laugh out of him, even if it wasnt that funny.

To me the show was the reason I kept going until next week, hoping that things would be better. But even if they weren't, even if things got worse, that I would still have something to look forward to. And for that, I cannot express my gratitude.

Thank you Unsolved. Thank you Shane and Ryan and all of the crew. Thanks for the scares and the laughs. Thank you for being in my life.

[thestarshipminestrone]

TELL US UR HOT DAGA FIX IT IDEA and also i am so excited to see an active hot daga blog in the year of our lord 2021.... thank you for all you do <333333

I'M SO GLAD THAT YOU'RE EXCITED TO SEE ONE!!! to be honest i'm just glad that people are actually interested in me keeping this blog active, and that my mutuals are still alive and well too. thank you for giving me motivation to keep making content <3

this has ended up as more of.. a pam analysis than a fix-it, but they tie in together at the "ANYWAY" so if you're looking for that, just skip to it :)

(there's more under this cut because it'll be long, but if you can't access it for any reason i'll be more than happy to message it to you. please also keep in mind that this is a LOT of pam apologism)

OKAY SO! it really all hinges on pam as a character and her development throughout the series and how that contrasts or goes along with the way that it works with other characters in the series. she’s a very complex character (something that doesn’t really need to be said; it’s pointed out in the show as well) and i find her arc incredibly interesting, especially because she is not... not a witch at the end of season 5 when she finally ends up being a semi-good guy.

pam is one of the oldest characters in the series both in age and in how long she's lasted as a character, just going off the fact that she was (a) around since the chili wars, (b) old enough to have a nephew ~about~ 20 years younger than her around the time of the time of the future, and (c) old enough for papa crab to recognize her from his vision of the crab joust.

this leaves a lot of space for her improvement! especially with the fact that we canonically have two timelines (the one where pam wins and the future happens, and the one where the joust is stopped). because we don't know that much about her life before she started serving the dark master, so i think... it kind of hinges on her involvement. we've never had the hotdaga without pam. even when she died, she turned around and became a ghost so she would still be around.

i think that, with the way she and mike acted around each other during the last few episodes of season five, there was a little more history there. this is where we get into my headcanon that mike and pam were actually friends after the time of the chili wars but before she found the dark master.

mike knows her. he's seen her at the wedding and knows about her involvement in the larger plot from gene and maizey (assuming they told him, which i think they did) but he doesn't hold any resentment? usually he's the first person to get up and go "hey, what you're doing is fucked up and i'm not happy with it."

obviously, since he never interacts with goondis on-screen before season five, it's a big hard to get a handle on his behaviour around old friends, but he doesn't seem to be... a fairly forgiving person.

this leads into how pam is... not really a bad person throughout the hotdaga. for sure, she does many, many bad things over the course of the series, but she is not... bad. she merely seems to be desensitized to violence.

combine that with the fact that many--if not all--the main characters in the hotdaga are fairly morally grey, you have a good setup for an interesting story.

ANYWAY. pam goes back in time with maizey on the minestrone to herself on the outer edge of the galaxy, meeting one of the other characters for the first time, but in the landing they were separated from the minestrone and need to get back without anyone noticing that they're around. this is... hard however, because there aren't a lot of people around but it is incredibly quiet and any movement is echoed around the small town and the scrap metal it's made of.

the minestrone is quite beat up from losing mike and goondis, and tired from the whole journey, so she misses again, and ends up going back and forth through pam's life up until the actual wedding. reflecting on her... what she stood for and stands for currently, the nothingness that could be the future, etc.

she's got!! layers,,, i love her. miss her.

[drunkkenobi]

Happy Watcher-versay

For all my sweet baby angels who were not in this fandom a year ago, let me paint you a picture.

In 2018, the content didn't flow as much as it does now, but there were still lots of Instagram photos, or surprise pop-ups in other Buzzfeed videos. You never knew when you'd click on Curly's instastory and see him hitting on Ryan or Shane and Ryan tweeting about some terrible dream Ryan had where Shane died or when you'd see them in airports together and begin speculating where they would be ghosthunting next. Then at the end of season 5 of Supernatural, when Ryan and Shane say they’ll be back but without a clear date, and while saying “we do have a special for you in January” (which would be the sponsored Black Dahlia revisited ep), it felt a little odd and sad, since SPN had only been 6 episodes instead of 8, but oh well, they’ll still be around. Plus maybe that meant they were working on season 2 of Ruining History! So we went on with our days, watching an awkward Buzzfeed holiday special with Shane as the grinch and Ryan not there at all, along with Shane getting the actual worst haircut of all time for a bit and Ryan not there at all. The Black Dahlia ep was a nice little treat, though. But then a couple weeks later, the Buzzfeed layoffs hit and I cannot emphasize enough what a shitty, anxious weekend that was. Ryan was at Sundance with Mari and so his lack of presence with regards to the layoffs was weird and made me (and a lot of other people) anxious as fuck that Unsolved wouldn’t continue at all. Shane didn’t say much either, although he was quietly liking tweets from fired friends. Katie Leblanc did eventually post that Unsolved was not canceled, although the damage had been done. TJ had been laid off, only a couple weeks back from paternity leave, and it was just a shitty time to care about Buzzfeed stuff. 

But a month later, the boys were back filming True Crime and then La Llorona with Curly and we hit another fandom mini-high. But, curiously, during the same time, Ryan was posting instagram ads and tweeting at a bunch of LA companies asking to do collabs and it seemed like our fears were true: Ryan had left Buzzfeed and Shane. He was doing Unsolved on contract but was going to venture out into the world and do his own thing, maybe acting or ~influencer shit. Shane was still popping up in some other Buzzfeed videos so it was the only logical conclusion we thought. 

Every time a random Buzzfeeder I followed posted a shot from in the office, I’d try to scour the background for Ryan and Shane but I never could find them. Whenever they did post instastories, they were working from home, sometimes together, sometimes not. That felt weird, but we thought maybe Buzzfeed was allowing people to work from home more as a boost to morale after the layoffs. And we knew they filmed more Berry Boys stuff at Knott’s, where was that? And then after True Crime s5 ended, we went months without anything, besides the Annabelle sponsored episode. All summer, no videos of them at pool parties together, no tweets from other Buzzfeeders about them at all, nothing. A lot of the time, though, Ryan was visiting Mari on set so that helped explain his absences, but maybe not all of them.

August rolls around and the boys film s6 of Supernatural, ghost hunting in Florida and South Carolina. The joy of seeing them post weird pics of each other while traveling could not be overstated. Then Ryan tweeted that Shane was “irreplaceable”, even when faced with switching him out for Paddington. Things in the fandom were looking up! We didn’t know why they were only filming 14 episodes of Unsolved a year when they used to do twice that many and we didn’t know what the fuck they were doing with their time and Sara finally commented that Ruining History probably wasn’t coming back so what the fuck did Shane do with his time, especially now that it had been a year without the Hot Daga and just what was going on over there???

Season 6 of Supernatural came and went, a glorious 6 week run that included “it’s not like he’s my daddy”, face-touching, and Ryan’s Old City Jail freakout. But after Halloween, it was done and it was another month of lows of after such an intense high. When were we going to see them again? Was Unsolved coming to an end? Were they growing apart? A lot of future reunion fic popped up during this time, which I think is a good indicator of where the fandom was at, how we were coping.

Then, on December 8, 2019, Ryan, Shane, and Steven Lim all posted eye emoji tweets. Weird. Some thought it was a reference to an album coming out around that time, some assumed it was some sort of teaser for a BFU/Worth it crossover (Andrew doesn’t social media so that helped too). An odd crumb of content that we nonetheless ate up.

December 9th rolls around. At around 10am PST, a trailer goes up. And suddenly, everything about the past year shifts into place.

I cannot emphasize enough that no one, no one, though they’d ever leave together. They couldn’t pull a Try Guys, Unsolved was too expensive to shoot and they couldn’t buy out that name with just two of them. It never crossed our minds that they’d want to create new things together. That they truly do think of each other as irreplaceable, not just as co-hosts on their spooky show, but in all aspects of their lives.

So. Happy Watcher-versary, my darlings. It’s been a shit year, but made immeasurably more tolerable with these doofuses and this lovely fandom. 

[tinsley-goldsworth]

is this the real life? or is this just fantasy?

Summary: crowley and shane had been friends ever since they became demons and when ryan finds out, he’s extremely confused and terrified, to say the least

read on ao3!

Wc: 2514

Crowley and Shane had been best friends ever since they became demons. Fallen angels were usually filled with too much vengeance and anger to make friends when first entering hell but with their similar sarcastic humor and cynicism, Crowley and Shane became fast friends. Ironically, they both happened to be the two demons sent to watch over Earth, for different purposes of course. Crowley was sent to ensure that Armageddon would occur smoothly while Shane was sent by the department of management of otherworldly effects and inspection of human activity regarding such. 

Throughout the years, Crowley and Shane only met once or twice a century, depending on how violent wars were in the current era. Whenever they met, Crowley would always complain about how oblivious Aziraphale, an angel who was also sent to supervise the occurrence of Armageddon, was and how no matter how hard he tried to flirt with that angel, he never seemed to pick up on signals. Frankly, Shane felt like he was witnessing a six-thousand-year romantic comedy with all the hilariously sappy updates Crowley offered. While Crowley was busy running around wreaking havoc and chasing after Aziraphale’s heart, Shane didn’t have much to do other than make sure that people didn’t go around performing enough Satanic rituals to tear open a vortex to hell. 

As intelligent as some humans were, some humans were extremely dumb and fooled around with Satanic rituals and joked about holy water so Shane had to deal with those idiots to make sure nothing dangerous would happen. There wasn’t too much to worry about until the witch trial craze and rituals and human interference with otherworldly beings increased and Shane kept himself busy. Once that died down, Shane got a bit of a break before cameras were invented and people began spreading tales of catching demons and gathering evidence to prove there were creatures other than the ones humans were familiar with. Shane managed to get some of these rumors to die down with his sharp cynicism and logical remarks that made people question if they really saw what they think they saw. He also got rid of some evidence of his fellow demons and finally felt like he had solved the problem of these pesky humans poking their noses around in demons’ business. 

Unfortunately for Shane, his job on Earth wasn’t done yet as some guy by the name of Ryan Bergara created a show about proving demons, other supernatural beings, and ghosts were real. And even worse, the show was rapidly gaining popularity so Shane couldn’t just wipe the show off the internet and expect people to not be suspicious. So, Shane booked the first flight to Los Angeles and applied for a job at Buzzfeed. He became fast friends with everybody in the office, including Ryan and he convinced Brent, the co-host on the show, to drop his role and pursue his other dreams of filmmaking. Soon, Shane became the new Buzzfeed Unsolved co-host. Ryan has caught some compelling evidence on camera but Shane always made sure to have scientific evidence to back up his rebuttals. Unexpectedly, Shane also gained popularity on the internet for his witty remarks and banter on the show and fans of the show began to suspect that he was a demon based on circumstantial evidence that could easily be refuted. 

Shane and Ryan had just finished filming another season of Buzzfeed Unsolved Supernatural when Armageddon occurred. Or rather, it did, then it didn’t. Pretty soon, the internet had a new conspiracy to chew on, and Ryan was convinced by internet forums that Armageddon had occurred and almost started writing up another episode on that event. Shane managed to steer Ryan away from that path and he could tell that Ryan was starting to get suspicious. 

After Armageddon, Shane decided to meet up with Crowley again at Aziraphale’s bookstore now that Aziraphale had finally realized that his love for Crowley was requited and Crowley didn’t want to spend a second without Aziraphale within a one-mile radius. Since Shane and Ryan happened to be in London after just wrapping up filming the last couple of supernatural episodes, it was easy for him to slip away with the excuse that he was visiting an old friend. 

As Shane pushed opened the door of the bookshop, Crowley was already waiting for him in a large plush chair with a book in hand. His legs were dangling over the armrest on the chair and as he looked up to meet Shane’s eyes, he sat up properly, swinging his legs around to rest them where they were supposed to be. “Well if it isn’t Shane Madej.”

“Crowley, how have you been? Hi Aziraphale,” Shane greeted the angel as he walked into the room, holding two cups of coffee and placing them on the small coffee table. Aziraphale offered a small smile before disappearing to the back of the bookshop, giving Shane and Crowley privacy to talk. 

“Good, good. Life with Aziraphale has been great. How are things with you?” Crowley asked as he put down the book and gently held the cup of coffee, taking a sip of the hot liquid. He crossed his legs and leaned forward in his seat. 

“Good. I’ve kept Ryan from interfering with our business too much. You know, he’s the one who created that show on YouTube and chases after ghosts and stuff,” Shane carefully lifted his cup of coffee to his lips, taking a small sip to find that it was burning hot, just as he liked it. 

“I thought YouTube was just for cat videos. So, have you settled in with Ryan yet?” Crowley downed the last of his coffee and set down the cup on the coffee table. He leaned back into the chair, sinking down as he rested his hands against the back of his head.

“Oh, we’re just friends. I did fall in love though,” Shane smiled as he thought about his girlfriend and Crowley raised his eyebrows, silently urging him to share more. He took another sip of coffee before continuing. “Her name is Sara and we moved in together. We’ve been dating for about 5 years and we have a cat named Obi. She also works at Buzzfeed so I get to see her really often.”

“She sounds so sweet! Do you mind if I take off my sunglasses? It’s getting a bit dark in here,” Crowley asked and Shane nodded, placing down his cup of coffee as well. 

“I might as well take off my contacts. I’ve been wearing these too much nowadays since having red eyes isn’t socially acceptable anymore,” Shane sighed and took out his brown contacts, blinking his red eyes as Crowley took off his dark sunglasses to reveal his yellow, snake-like eyes. Now, up to this point, Shane and Crowley had no idea that they were being watched by Ryan Bergara. 

Ryan had a feeling that something was off with Shane ever since he met Shane. For example, Shane was able to control his emotions scarily well and he seemed to never be scared of anything. Lately, Shane has been acting more weird than usual and the last straw in convincing Ryan that Shane was a demon was how he abruptly steered Ryan away from making an episode about Armageddon. When Shane made an excuse about leaving to visit a friend, Ryan followed him. He watched Shane enter into the bookshop from the front and snuck in through the back, managing to sneak past the bookshop owner.

Ryan had been watching Crowley and Shane talk about their lives as if they hadn’t caught up in decades from behind a bookshelf. The conversation had been relatively normal, up until the point when Shane revealed his red eyes and Crowley flashed his snake-like ones. This scared Ryan so much that he jumped out from his hiding spot with a small bottle of holy water, pointing it at the two demons.

“Freeze! I have holy water and I’m not afraid to use it!” Both demons froze in place and turned around to see Ryan pointing the bottle of holy water at their faces. His eyes were wide with fear and his hands were visibly shaking. 

“You don’t want to use that,” Crowley warned and his eyes flashing with doubt and disapproval as Ryan slowly inched his way towards him and Shane. He didn’t seem too worried that Ryan would randomly use the water without being provoked but still kept a bit of caution.

“Are you both demons? Shane, what is going on?” Ryan asked with fear gripping the edge of his words. He didn’t know what the procedure was to get rid of demons via holy water so he prayed that he wouldn’t have to use it.

“Oh, Crowley, this is Ryan. Ryan, this is Crowley, an old friend of mine. And we are totally not demons,” Shane deadpanned, a mischievous grin on his face. Even when Shane knew that he could get hurt by the holy water, he couldn’t help but inject some of his classic sarcasm into the conversation. Ryan’s eyes widened and he took a giant step forward, still holding the bottle of holy water.

“You’re kidding,” Ryan stated with a questioning tone in his voice. He narrowed his eyes with suspicion as he kept slowly advancing towards Shane and Crowley.

“Yeah, you’re right. We’re both demons. Congrats, you caught us!” Shane admitted, realizing that there was literally no other excuse that could cover up the truth this time. Ryan was so shocked by the fact that he was correct that he almost dropped his holy water. 

“Ha! I knew it! I was right all along! I knew you were a demon! No human could ever create something as terrible as the Hot Daga!” Ryan exclaimed gleefully as his initial fear started to recede. However, he still maintained a firm grip on the bottle of holy water. 

“Hey! You know, some people actually enjoy watching the Hot Daga. In fact, I’m going to start another season during the post-mortem! Everybody wants to know how their favorite holographic lesbian corn is doing,” Shane responded defiantly and Crowley glanced at the two, very clearly confused by whatever they were discussing. 

“Sorry, what did you just say about a corn and a hot dog now?” Crowley asked, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion. Ryan glanced over at him and noticed the strange tattoo on the side of his face, and as he opened his mouth to ask about it, Aziraphale walked into the room with a pot of coffee, oblivious to the strange interactions that were occurring.

“I brought some more coffee for you two and-” Aziraphale paused when he saw Ryan and fear flashed in Ryan’s eyes again. “Oh dear, Crowley, you didn’t tell me more people were coming! Should I bring an extra cup?”

“Who are you? Are you a demon too?” Ryan turned around, pointing the bottle of holy water at the angel menacingly. Aziraphale didn’t seem to be fazed at all by Ryan’s paranoia and smiled in response to his reaction. 

“Of course not. On the contrary, I’m an angel.” Aziraphale poured coffee into the empty cups before pressing a quick kiss on Crowley’s cheek. Crowley blushed furiously but broke into a giant grin. If Ryan wasn’t so enthralled by the fact that he was talking to two demons and an angel after spending years of trying to prove that supernatural forces existed in the world, he would have found the brief but affectionate interaction adorable. 

“Wait, hold up. So, angels and demons exist? In this world?” Ryan must’ve looked really shell shocked as he took a seat in an empty chair, eyes wide with disbelief. He couldn’t process the fact that he was correct all along and Crowley and Aziraphale exchanged knowing looks, clearly having dealt with humans who had unexpectedly found out what they were before. “I definitely need to write up an episode for Unsolved for this.”

“That is if you still remember this in the morning,” Shane replied with a smirk on his face and before Ryan could ask what he meant, Shane snapped his fingers and everything faded to black. 

Ryan woke up the next morning with a noisy headache and he groaned as he rolled over in his bed, reaching for a bottle of water and taking a generous gulp of the water. He sat up in his bed and looked around the dim hotel room, wondering why he couldn’t remember half of yesterday. Ryan could only recall asking Shane where he was heading out to but couldn’t remember anything else after that. Shane was already up and dressed, and he was sitting at the desk, his eyes trained on his laptop, presumably working. 

“Hey Shane, what happened yesterday? I can’t remember anything and I have the worst headache,” Ryan pressed his fingers to his temple, hoping that would relieve the pain. Shane swiveled around in his chair to face Ryan, his warm, brown eyes magnified by his glasses. 

“You had a really bad headache when I went to visit some friends and when I came back, you were already asleep. You’ve been working too hard,” Shane answered nonchalantly and returned back to staring at his laptop screen. Ryan was unconvinced but the story Shane offered would explain the headache and gap in his memory. He decided that he was convinced and got up from bed, the headache slowly receding. By the time he, Shane, and the Buzzfeed Unsolved crew got to the airport and were waiting to board their flight back to Los Angeles, the headache was gone. 

Ryan forgot about that strange headache until they were filming the first post-mortem for the new Buzzfeed Unsolved Supernatural season. After Shane and Ryan finished answering all the questions they chose, Shane went to his Google docs app and Ryan knew that he was screwed. Just as Ryan finished the outro, Shane immediately began, “I would now like to-”

“I thought you weren’t doing a new season of this horrible little cartoon of yours,” Ryan dropped his head in his hands, letting out an exasperated sigh. Shane paused and grinned, staring directly into the camera. 

“Well everybody wants to know how their favorite holographic lesbian corn is doing so I just had to continue this thrilling saga!” Shane continued on to read the story from his phone and Ryan frowned as he tried to remember where he heard that same specific phrase from. Suddenly, memories of the afternoon before his headache in London spottily flashed back in Ryan’s mind in fragments. He remembered seeing Shane with red eyes and his friend’s yellow, snake-like eyes. The words “angel” and “demon” were floating around with those memories, and Ryan was pulled out of his memories and back into reality. 

Nobody in the comments section pointed out Ryan’s disturbed look as that was generally the look he always wore during the Hot Daga and since Shane was still loudly reading his story, Ryan could only sit and wonder if what he just remembered was a vivid fantasy or reality.

~

check out my bfu fics by clicking the link in my profile :)

[luna-rainbow]

Recommended jdramas last decade

Given that the ratings list isn't exactly diverse and lots of interesting dramas didn't make the top cut, I thought I'd come up with a recommendation list. I remember back in the 2000s J-dramas were all the rage but now there seems to be much less interest in them outside of Japan, but that doesn't necessarily mean the quality is less! My preferred genres are more on the tense and action-packed side, and I rarely watched rom-coms or slice of life dramas until more recently. Nevertheless there are some very topical ones that are worth mentioning. Police procedurals 1) BOSS 1 & 2: another one of my perennial favourites. Set at the pace of American procedurals, equipped with snappy humour and quirky characters, it is the perfect amalgamation of funny, touching and gripping. 2) Strawberry Night: the original series with the gorgeous Takeuchi Ryoko and Nishijima Hidetoshi is leagues above the remake. It's much darker than BOSS but perhaps more resonant because of it. 3) Kinkyuu Torishirabeshitsu seasons 1-3: similar to BOSS, this cast consists of veteran supporting actors who play off well against each other. The cases range from satisfying to acutely dissatisfying, just as in real life. 4) Keiji 7-nin: similar to KinTori, the cast consists of some solid veteran actors, and the cases range from triumphant to depressing. There are some interesteing back stories to the characters, but it's not as well developed as you might hope. 5) Zettai Reido season 3: I tried to go back and rewatch the first 2 seasons, but it's a completely different story. Consisting of mostly a young green cast, somehow the actors have fit the roles so well that it doesn't irk. The cases mostly end on a note of despair and helplessness, as the system rolls over and quashes anyone in its way. 6) CRISIS: for the longest time I confused this with BG as the set-up of the characters are quite similar. It's very well-made, but again the characters function in a morally grey territory and is an interesting digression from the usual straight procedural. Crime solvers 1) 99.9 seasons 1 & 2: quirky and humorous, but also full of heart, and with Kagawa playing the straight foil to MatsuJun's insolent lawyer, it is almost perfect except for the lack of insipration in its cases. 2) Unnatural: I still consider this to have one of the best developed back-stories and characterisations of any crime-solver or police procedural. The script is by Noki Akiko, and it has a sensitivity to it that is not often seen in this cerebral genre. 3) Galileo seasons 1 & 2: released back in the day when Fukuyama Masaharu was still hugely popular, this was long enough ago that I don't actually remember what I liked about it, except that I do like and recommend it. 4) Kagi no kakatta heya: out of Arashi, I've never thought of Ohno as the best actor but when the role fits him, it fits like a glove. Based on a manga, it has the occasional unrealistic plot holes that comes with this genre, but overall it's well-produced, funny and the 3 main characters play off each other to hilarious effect. Medical dramas 1) Code Blue 1 & 2 - Hayashi Koji has a remarkable grasp on the mentality of young doctors. The first two seasons of Code Blue are on my perennial recommend list 2) Black Pean - I hesitated about whether to put this down, but there's actually very few medical dramas I recommend even though I watch a lot of them. I did enjoy Black Pean for its production quality and the dedication of the actors, but the script is an absolute let-down. 3) DOCTORS seasons 1-3 - this subversive drama straddles medical and comedy, and Sawamura's character slowly turned from a straight, obliviously helpful do-gooder, to an outright calculating manipulator but with the best of intentions. It is a fascinating premise for a main character and I'd recommend it purely for that. Rom-coms 1) Nigeru wa haji daga yaku ni tatsu - I really shouldn't put something I couldn't keep watching as the top, but apart from the fact I couldn't stand the 2 main actors, the story was an interesting philosophical exploration of what a live-in relationship means in practical terms. 2) Hotaru no Hikari 2 - again this was so long ago I couldn't remember much of it, except it was nice and sweet, although I think the first season was better contained. 3) Watashi ga ren'ai dekinai riyuu - I'm not quite sure this qualifies as rom-com as the characters didn't all get their happily ever after (which is actually quite rare in Japanese dramas). The story revolves around three women, each progressive yet conformative in their own ways, and how they dealt with the social expectations of courtship. A nice watch and probably a realistic window into how romance works in Japan. Underdog victories 1) Doctor X series 1-6 - Look, as much as I HATE this series as a medical drama wannabe, it is the defining story for the underdog against a conservative hierachical paternalistic world. It is full of impossible triumphs, no bad outcome ever happens and the main character never loses. 2) Shitamachi Rocket 1 & 2 - arguably the series that started the Ikeido Jun craze, it turned something boring and nerdy (rocket and machine engineering) into gripping rollercoaster drama. Well-acted and well-scripted, it made you cheer for the characters even as your real boring self acknowledge how ludicrous their victories are. 3) Grand Maison Tokyo - this is a story of redemption through the shared love of food, brought together by a team of great actors who clearly had great fondness of each other. There are some silly moments, but a lot of it was touching, sweet and highly rewarding, just like a beautiful meal. 4) No Side Game - I tossed up putting Riku-Ou in as well, but in the end I thought No Side Game was slightly better. Both based around sports (marathon and rugby, respectively), it's full of hot-blooded idealism about loyalty, teamwork and dedication, a shounen manga fairytale for adults. Slice of life 1) Gibo to musume no Blues - I'm really not a "slice of life" person, but this drama exceeded all expectations. It starts off odd and a little slow, but each episode will make you laugh and then cry a little about what it means to be family, all the silly moments, the frustrating moments and the tender moments that we share. 2) Ie-uru onna (season 1) - I'm not too sure this quite fits in "slice of life" or comedy, because the main character really is rather odd, but the first season had some beautifully reflective stories, again about what it means to be family and what home means to the different people in society. I don't know what happened in the 2nd season, but it's definitely lost that evocative touch. 3) Jimi ni sugoi! - maybe because the publishing industry interests me, but I thought this was a very cute series with some good inside tips about publishing, but also can be drawn to reflect on how people should view their vocation. Almost a rom-com, not quite a comedy, but a really nice light-hearted series with Ishihara Satomi at her most radiant. 4) Watashi, teiji de kaerimasu - this was a surprisingly sweet take on difficult problems that aren't necessarily unique to the Japanese workplace - the clash of generational values, the internal sense of inadequacies and the people who are deterimentally unable to say no. The main character, rather than being the focus of growth as often happens in these dramas, turn out to be the mediator as she uses her previous painful experiences of burnout to guide others through their own struggles. Suspense 1) 3-nen A-gumi: while prone to hyperbole and melodrama, this was a very nice fable of adulthood and the idea that once you are an adult, you must take responsibility for the consequences of your own actions, told through the microcosm that is Class 3A. Highly recommended. 2) BG: slick and well-produced, as many of KimuTaku's dramas are, it had action and suspense in good measures but unfortunately wasn't quite carried by the plot. Each individual case was interesting enough, but the main plot was rather convoluted and disappointing. 3) Ouroboros: almost similar to Toma's earlier Maou, it was cerebral, suspenseful and full of a sense of inevitable tragedy. The ending was more than it could chew, but it gave a good effort. 4) Kazoku Game: one of those rare dramas that really suited Sakurai Sho, where he was the intelligent and highly sociopathic and slightly psychotic home tutor for a highly dysfunctional family. A fascinating watch. Comedy I have to say this is a genre I struggle with. I'd happily watch slapstick and screaming in an anime, but live action is just awks. There's been some popular ones that I haven't watched but have heard good things about: - Tami-Ou: the sleazy prime minister accidentally swaps body with his extremely introverted son, and they both have to try and continue the facade. - Kyou kara ore wa: high school kids pretending they're better than they're really are, we've all been through that. This is not an exhaustive list by any means. There's a lot of well-reviewed dramas that I hadn't been able to catch, especially in the first half of the decade. There's a bunch of highly popular dramas that I hadn't been able to continue, but clearly they've got their appeal to the Japanese audience. I think in general Japanese dramas do human drama very well, especially the various relationships we have in our lives and how they interact. It's not great at doing the K-drama fairytale romance. I hope the list helps people try out some new things, or you could check out the top ratings list for other safe bets.

[bfuconspiracytheories]

How I became a Dagahead

Stage 1: Started watching BFU because I used to watch other Buzzfeed videos. Was not an avid fan but used to watch whenever they popped up in my yt recommendations

Stage 2: Shane becomes the co-host. The show is more funny than spooky. I’m hooked

Stage 3: Went to watch post-mortem for case or episodes which were very interesting. Used to skip over Shane’s animations - never really paid much attention to those bits

Stage 4: Found postmortems more interesting as we get to see a lot more banter here than in the actual episodes. I used to skip the hot daga at the end but sometimes ended up catching bits and pieces of the story anyway

Stage 5: Thanks to yt comments - watched those episodes where Shane had those spicy numbers. Am intrigued

Stage 6: Went back and watched all pms in order so that hotdaga storyline would make sense (It didn’t). But it was all worth it to see Ryan Bergara’s suffering through Shane’s narration (is this what they call Schadenfreude?)

Stage 7: I have watched all the hot daga songs at least 50 times. Am writing conspiracy theories about how Gene seeing smeech at the end an indication that shane believes in ghosts now. I now want a friend who would go through all my VO files so they can have me as a voice actor in their critically acclaimed series

[80-percent-leg]

This is an appreciation post for the season 2 finale of the Hot Daga, because that’s who I am as a person

Shane calling it the grand finale of the Hot Daga as if he doesn’t know that it will never end, and when Ryan asks if this is truly it, he doesn’t answer

The reveal that the majority of the cast are witch holograms, and the way it’s presented as if everyone should understand what a witch hologram is

“And what about Gebra and Maizey?” “Gebra’s not even a real name!”

The flashes of lightning for effect

Mike Soup. Just. Mike Soup. 

Maizey’s entire speech.

“I may be corn, and I may be a witch hologram, but I was conjured to love Gebra and she’s as real to me as anything I’ve ever known, and you’ve got to be stupid to think that I’m going to let the simple fact that we’re both holograms created by some annoying hot dog witch and her raccoon pal get in the way of our day.”

“The raccoon is actually the ghost of my younger self. I ate him and now he’s mad.”

“I don’t care, Brandon. Witch lady, Pam, whatever your deal is, will you press pause on your shit for five minutes?”

Maizey is a fucking icon, you guys.

We’re not even half way through the episode, there’s still an entire song, and Ryan asks “Is that it?” “No.” “Fuck.”

I can’t get over how Shane had the song recorded and fucking told Ryan that they had to sit there in silence for a minute and twenty seconds for the song to play. In that moment, I realized I would understand if Ryan decided to murder Shane.

Shane spends the song smiling softly and shushing Ryan. Ryan cannot stay quiet.

Okay, look. The song is fantastic, we know this. We know Shane’s overdramatic ass putting sunglasses on to record the song is iconic. We know that having him overlaid across the screen was genius. We know this.

And when it’s over, Shane stays silent until Ryan asks if it’s over, and as soon as he does he interrupts Ryan to continue. He waited specifically until then.

“It’s still a witch heart, dingbat” is absolutely the best line in all of cinematic history. It just fucking is. Fight me.

“He pulls the lever, everybody falls, and now I’m going to scream for all the characters.” I need the outtakes. I need all the individual screams. I need to know how long it took. I need to know how Ryan left that room and still presumably considered Shane his friend. I need to know how Ryan resisted killing Shane right there.

Reminder that the Hot Daga in it’s entirety is now 2 hours, 16 minutes, and 13 seconds long, and each season is slightly longer than the last, with the exception of season 5, which is three seconds shorter than season 4. 

[captainfangirlll]

GENDRY-ARYA-PODRICK FANFIC

First time and my native languaje is spanish, so I gonna put it in the two languajes, sorry if my english is no that good, first i will upload on spanish and then it goes on english. 

ARYA

El sonido de las espadas resonaba por todo Winterfell, hacía una semana que habían vencido el ejercito de los muertos, una semana desde aquella noche, que cambió su vida para siempre, todos la adoraban o querían estar con ella, todos le preguntaban como había logrado vencer al rey de la noche, pero simplemente ni ella lo sabía, todo fue tan rápido y la adrenalina y sangre caliente bajo al instante que todo quedo destruido, se seguía sintiendo normal, pero claro no lo era, era raro que fuera un lugar sin que alguien quisiera estar con ella, hombres hablando, jovenes coqueteando, cuando antes apenas la miraban, todos eran unos hipocritas -pensó-, ella solo apreciaba a los que habían estado con ella desde antes, su familia, El Perro, Brienne, Gendry... Gendry, era el único que no se le acercaba como los otros, simplemente la abrazo luego de la batalla como aliviado y luego se enteró que ella había matado al rey de la noche, y no había vuelto a saber de él, es posible que él ya no quisiera saber nada de ella, ya no era la niña inocente que conoció y eso quizás le aterraba.

- ¡Arya! ¡ARYAAA! - Brienne de Tarth se acercaba con una gran sonrisa, era de las unicas personas que no la trataba diferente porque sabía de lo que era capaz, Arya se acerco y de repente visualizo su gran espada, la que antes había sido de su padre, y ahora era suya, pero no importaba poeque era Brienne y las protegía.

- Lady Brienne. - Lady Arya. - Ambas rieron, ya que ambas odiaban ser llamadas así - - No creas que por haber matado al rey de la noche ahora eres imbvencible, puede que haya sido un golpede suerte - Arya sonrió - - Bueno si puedo vencerte a ti el rey de la noche no fue ningún problema. - Brienne sonrió y empuño su espada - - No estes muy segura de eso.

Ambas comenzaron la pelea y por primera vez en semanas, Arya se sintió ella otra vez.

ARYA

The sound of the swords resounded throughout Winterf ell, a week ago they had defeated the army of the dead, a week since that night, which changed her life forever, everyone adored her or wanted to be with her, everyone asked her how she had achieved beat the Nigth King, but simply she did not know it, everything was so fast and the adrenaline and hot blood erased the moment everything was destroyed, she was  feeling herself normal, but of course she was not, it was rare that it was a place without that someone would want to be with her, men talking, young man flirting, when before they just rarely looked at her, they were all hypocrites, she thought, she only appreciated those who had been with her before, her family, The Hound, Brienne, Gendry. .. Gendry, was the only one who did not approach her like the others, he simply embraced her after the battle as if he was relieved and then learned that she killed the night king, and she didnt hear from him again, it is possible that he wouldnt  want to know anything about her anymore, she was not the innocent girl he met and that perhaps terrified him. -

 Arya! ARYAAA! - Brienne of Tarth approached with a big smile, was one of the only people who did not treat her differently because she knew what she was capable of, Arya approached and suddenly visualized her great sword, which was her father's, and Now it was hers, but it didnt  matter because Brienne protected her and Sansa or at least she try

. - Lady Brienne.

 - Lady Arya. - Both laughed, since they both hated being called like that - 

- Do not think just because you killed the  night king now you are imbvencible, it may have been a stroke of luck - Arya smiled -

 - Well, if I can beat you, the nigth king obviously was not a  problem. - Brienne smiled and wielded her sword - 

- Do not be too sure about that. They both started the fight and for the first time in weeks, Arya felt herself again.

GENDRY

Winterfell había cambiado mucho después de la batalla, muros caidos, quemados, armas regadas, había terminado de recolectarlas todas luego de la batalla, recuerda haber estado en panico después de encontrar el arma de Arya junto a muchos cadaveres, pero después la encontró junto a sus hermano Bran y no pudo evitarlo y corrió a abrazarla sintiendo el alivió de sentirla viva, pero ella no dijo nada, estaba en shock y cuando Bran anunció que ella había matado al rey de la noche, todo mundo perdió la cabeza, Jon quería saber como, Daenerys de repente se habiá interesado en ella, Lords, Ladys, y le hervía la sangre de pensar en los jovenes con títulos, caballeros y guerreros todos tras ella, pero ella siempre mantenía el mismo semblante, callado, serio, como si no tuviera sentimientos que mostrar, los había visto, destellos de ellos con él... el día que se rió cuando la llamo su lady, o la noche antes de la batalla, pero nunca como cuando estaba con Jon, él era el único capaz de transformar a Arya, pero él era su hermano, su sangre ¿Por qué él sería diferente a  los otros? ¿Por qué lo querría ahora que puede tener a quien quiera? ¿Por que querría a un bastardo? no se había acercado a buscarlo luego de su reencuentro después de la batalla, quizas ella solo lo había usado antes de la batalla para obtener lo que quería y ya, pero jamás se lo tomaría enserio. De repente sintió un nudo en el estomago y dificultad para respirar, necesitaba salir de la fragua y descargar la ansiedad con unos cuantos golpes a su martillo, así que salió.

Cuando iba llegando a la zona de entrenamiento, la vió luchando espada a espada con Brienne, feliz, llena, como si no existiera nada más que el choque de espadas entre ellas.

GENDRY

Winterfell changed a lot after the battle, fallen walls, burned, watered weapons, he finished collecting all of them after the battle, he remember he was in panic after finding Arya's weapon next to many dead bodies, but later he found her next to Her brother Bran, and he couldnt not help it and ran to hug her feeling the relief of feeling her alive, but she said nothing, she was shocked and when Bran announced that she  killed the nigth king, everyone lost his head, Jon wanted to know how, Daenerys had suddenly become interested in her, Lords, Ladys, and he feel angry just thinking on the young men with titles, knights and warriors all after her, but she always kept the same face, quiet, serious, as if hadnt any feelings to show, he had seen them -thougth-, flashes of them with him ... the day he laughed when he called her his lady, or the night before the battle, but never like when he was with Jon, he was the only one  able to transform Arya, but he was his brother, his blood. Why would he be different from the others? Why she would want him now that she can have whomever he wants? Why would she want a bastard? she had not come to look for him after their reunion after the battle, maybe she had only used him before the battle to get what she wanted, but she would never take him seriously. Suddenly he felt a knot in his stomach and difficults to breath, he needed to get out of the forge and unload the anxiety with a few blows to his hammer, so he left. When he was arriving at the training zone, he saw her fighting sword by sword with Brienne, happy, full, as if there was nothing more than the clash of swords between them. 

ARYA

La lucha había terminado, Arya había sorprendido a Brienne haciendola tropesar y poniendo la daga en su cuello, de repente escucho a alguien aplaudir, se levanto y visualizó al salvaje pelirrojo amigo de su hermano que ultimamente había estado pasando tiempo con Gendry.

- A eso es lo que llamo belleza femenina. Subestime el sur, tienen buenas guerreras. - Recorrio a Brienne de pies a cabeza - y muy bellas. ¿No es cierto Podrick?

Arya visualizo al escudero de Brienne, no se había percatado que había estado viendo la batalla todo este tiempo.

- ¿No te da verguenza chico? Que estas dos peleen mejor que tú. Seguro la pequeña partiría tu trasero antes que puedas decir Verga. - Dejalo en paz. - Saltó Arya, había algo en ella que la hacía proteger a los más debiles - Sobrevivió y peleo en la larga noche. Creo que aguanta más que eso. - Veamos - Dijo Brienne sonriente -

Podrick tomo su espada con la mano temblorosa y envistió a Arya, ella dio una vuelta rapido y pincho su mano con agua, lo que ocasionó que Tormund estallará en risa.

- Levantate - insisitió Brienne, y Podrick lo hizo, Arya volvió a vencerlo, pero esta vez fue hacia el y le brindó su mano para que se levantará. El titubeo como si no fuera digno y Arya puso sus ojos en blanco y solo tomo su mano para levantarlo.

- No te sientas mal, lo que yo hago es la danza del agua, no te han entrenado para defenderte en esto, pero puedo enseñarte.- Podrick dirigió su mirada a Brienne en señal de aprobación y Arya rio internamente, Brienne aprobó. - Esta bien, practiquemos equilibrió, vas a estar 10 minutos sobre tus puntillas al borde de esta roca de acá. - Podrick hizo una cara de espantó y Arya no pudo evitar reirse en voz alta, le recordaba mucho a sus primeras lecciones con Syrio Forel. -

ARYA

The fight was over, Arya had surprised Brienne by tripping her and putting the dagger in her neck, suddenly heard someone applaud, got up and visualized the wild redhead friend of his brother who had been spending time with Gendry lately.

- That's what I call female beauty. Underestimate the south, they have good warriors. - He saw Brienne from head to toe - and very beautiful. Is not that right, Podrick?

Arya visualized Brienne's squire, she had not realized she had been watching the battle all this time.

- Are not you embarrassed, boy? these two fight better than you. Sure the little one would break your ass before you can say Cock.

- Leave him alone. - Arya said, there was something in her that made her protect the weakest -  He Survived and fought in the long night. I think he can holds more than that.

- Let's see - Said Brienne smiling -

Podrick took his sword with a trembling hand, she took a quick turn and punch his hand with needle, which caused Tormund to burst into laughter.

- Get up - Brienne insisted, and Podrick did, Arya beat him again, but this time she went to him and offered her hand so that he will get up. He hesitated as if he were not worthy and Arya rolled her eyes and just took his hand to lift him.

- Do not feel bad, what I do is the water dance, you have not been trained to defend yourself in this, but I can teach you.- Podrick turned his gaze to Brienne in approval and Arya laughed internally, Brienne approved. 

- Okay, first we practice balancing, you'll be 10 minutes on your toes on the edge of this rock here. - Podrick made a scared face and Arya could not help laughing out loud, it reminded her so much of her first lessons with Syrio Forel. -

GENDRY

No sabía pOrque pero sentía calor en el pecho. Al verla reír y convertirse en esa Arya que solía conocer pero no con él, no le molestaba cuando la veía de esa manera con Jon, pero ahí estaba ella, riendose y comportandose como la vieja Arya con el escudero de Brienne de Tarth, la había visto interactuar con otros Lords y caballeros, pero ella no había mostrado interes, sin embargo con él... estaba a punto de clavar su martillo en un pedazo de tronco cuando escucho a dos doncellas reir.

- ¿Es ese? - Shh si, callate. - Pero esta con Arya Stark, no podemos contra eso. ¿Es verdad lo que dicen de él? Gendry no pudo evitarlo e interrumpio la conversación. - Perdonen la intromisión ¿Pero que pasa con Arya Stark? - Con ella nada, es el escudero de Brienne de Tarth el que nos inquieta. - ¿Que con él? - La chica reviso su alrededor para verificar que nadie la escuchara - - Dicen que una vez en Kings Landing Lord Tyrion lo llevo al burdel y las golfas regresaron el dinero por lo satisfechas que estaban. Te imaginas - Gendry puso los ojos en blanco - - No importa igual, está con Arya Stark si ella es inteligente aprovechará sus beneficios - Gendry sintió su cara hervir, de repente Podrick cayo de la piedra donde estaba haciendo equilibrio y Arya le dio la mano una vez más, esta vez el la acepto con gusto pero justo cuando recobró el equilibrio Arya lo hizo caer y se avalanzo sobre él con sus piernas y puso la daga en su cuello. -

- Leccion 1, nunca confíes en tu oponente. - Si que eres un chico afortunado - Dijo Tormund y Podrick se puso rojo como un tomate-

GENDRY

He didnt know why but he felt heat in his chest. Seeing her laugh and become that Arya he used to know but not with him, it did not bother  when he saw her that way with Jon, but there she was, laughing and behaving like old Arya with Brienne of Tarth's squire, He already saw her  interacting with other Lords and knights, but she didnt shown any interest, however with him ... he was about to stick her hammer into a piece of trunk when  heard two maidens laugh.

- Is him? - Yes, shut up. - But is with Arya Stark, we can not against that. Is it true what they say about him? Gendry could not help it and interrupted the conversation. - Forgive the intrusion. But what about Arya Stark? - With her nothing, it is the squire of Brienne of Tarth that disturbs us. - What with him? - The girl checked around to verify that nobody was listening - - They say that once in Kings Landing Lord Tyrion took him to the brothel and the golfers returned the money for how satisfied they were. You imagine... - Gendry rolled his eyes - - It does not matte, hes with Arya Stark if she's smart she'll take advantage of his benefits - Gendry felt his face boil, suddenly Podrick fell from the stone where he was balancing and Arya give her hand to him once more, this time he accepted but just when he regained his balance Arya made him fall and bounced on him with her legs and put the dagger on his neck. -

- Lesson 1, never trust your opponent. - Yes, you're a lucky man - Tormund said, and Podrick turned red as a tomatoe-

ARYA

La risa no dejaba de salir, es como si estuviera con Hotpie, Gendry y Lommy riendo otra vez, de repente lo visualizó... era él. Gendry parecia molesto, pero estaba hablando con dos jovenes hermosas, con vestidos y cabello trenzado, Ladys normales... de repente tomo su martillo y se marchó con ellas, Arya sintió un nudo en el corazón, pero lo alejo y no se permitió sentirlo más "Toro estúpido" susurro para ella, y siguió con el entrenamiento.

ARYA 

 The laughter kept going, it's like she was with Hotpie, Gendry and Lommy laughing again, suddenly she visualized ... it was him. Gendry seemed annoyed, but he was talking to two beautiful maidens, with braided hair and dresses, normal Ladys ... suddenly he took his hammer and left with them, Arya felt a knot in the heart, but he pulled away and did not allow herself to feel it, "stupid bull" whispered to her, and continued with the training.

Let me know if the english was rigth, and if you wanna more said it! I can do the second part, it deppends on the loves and reblogs if someone can do a better translation tell me😂😭