#i will manifest this for the rest of my life to my dying breath if i have to

[sourstiless]

i think the fandom moved on way too fast of the hospital floor bts photo jlh posted back in november, the tape indicated that maddie, chim, bobby, athena and a non-main actor will be in the scene. i'm assuming that 5th person is a doctor telling them about buck's condition since maddie's his sister and bobby's his emergency contact (with chim and athena there to comfort their partners), there's literally so much more evidence that points to buck being the one who's gonna get hurt so idk why everyone's jumping ship to coma eddie just cuz ryan hasn't been filmed on set recently (which there could be many reasons for), cuz why would they put oliver in that preppy outfit when buck has never dressed like that, bring buck's mom back and be on the set of what looks like the buckley's hershey house if it's eddie's dream?

i really do think most of the evidence points towards buck possibly getting hurt. we don’t know if ryan is or isn’t filming. i doubt he’d be missing for multiple episodes in a row unless he booked another gig and needed the time off to film it or something. it’s also possible his storyline may be very important and they’re trying to keep it under wraps to avoid spoilers and leaks, which is common for tv shows and movies.

this is just the bts that moreso supports hurt buck than eddie getting hurt thst i can think of off the top of my head, mind u this is still all speculation:

maddie at the hospital — maddie and eddie don’t really know each other that well. why would she be at the hospital for him when they haven’t had any real bonding time. when eddie was at the call center maddie was still recovering from her ppd and off work for half of it. maddie also hasn’t been seen at a hospital set for someone else, that i can recall, except for buck back in 2x18.

the preppy clothes — buck doesn’t typically dress in stuff like that, in fact, i don’t think we’ve ever seen buck dress like that, so unless he’s trying to dress to impress his parents (which he’s never tried to do before, see 9-1-1 what’s your grievance), it would make the most sense for it to be some kind of coma dream sequence. and in that case, like u said it really doesn’t make sense for the buckley parents to make an appearance in a coma dream sequence for eddie with the details we know from the episode. buck has never dressed like that before so why would eddie dream of that, and the only conversation eddie had with the buckleys was off screen in buck begins. it makes more sense if it was some kind of “what if daniel died” situation than that. im not saying it’s impossible, but it would be a little weird.

albert coming back — now, we don’t know the official reason albert is coming back. it could be completely unrelated to this speculation, but IF it is related to this speculation, it would not make sense for albert to reappear for eddie’s sake. they are not close. they have only had a couple of real interactions. albert, however, lived with buck for a while. he is basically buck’s brother in law being that maddie and chim are together. they are part of the same family so it makes sense that he’d come back to be there for maddie, chim and buck during that time. not to mention, and i’ve brought it up before, they could kind of parallel the way buck was the first one to run to alberts car during his accident, and how buck kept talking to him while they tried to get him out. albert snd buck’s friendship is so underrated tbh but it’s little things like that that show how important they are to each other.

oliver’s bts pic — possibly a bit of a stretch, but a little while ago, oliver posted bts of the hospital set where he was behind the cameras while they were filming what looked like 3 people in a waiting area. we don’t know who those 3 people are bc it was hard to tell, i believe one of them was hen and possibly chim, but the third person is still up in the air. it doesn’t really look like eddie but it doesn’t look like anyone else either. the important take away is that buck was not in the shot. neither was bobby and i don’t think maddie was either. possibly bc they are both emergency contact and sibling, and if buck is hurt the doctor could be updating them or they might be the only on in the room, who knows again this is all speculation. but if the 3 people waiting are hen, chim, and eddie, it’s strange that buck is not also with them, unless he’s injured.

misc bts — today was the first day i think since filming 610, that we’ve seen bts of oliver in lafd clothing. the other bts we have of him is in regular “civilian” clothing, but correct me if i’m wrong on that, which is also odd unless they plan on doing a lot of out of firehouse filming.

that being said, again it’s all speculation and i could completely be missing the mark rn, but i do believe there is more evidence from bts to support buck being out of commission for a while than eddie. it also wouldn’t be the first time main characters are missing from episodes either. kenny choi missed 2 in s1, in hen, chimney and athena begins, buck is either absent or only shows up in archival footage, jlh missed episodes due to going on maternity leave, etc. so, it’s definitely not uncommon for main cast to not be present in a couple episodes.

i am, however, a coma buck truther until the day i die, you will never see me jumping ship or otherwise closing on the theory bc i am far too delusional. also i gave myself the title ceo of coma buck so i cant back out even if i wanted to.

[hoony2k]

Is jake here?

Shakespeare says "tis was written in the stars before they even met"

-You're lost in life and move to Seoul where you find your peace in a boy. Jake's in a band and is looking for a girl he's been obsessed with ever since she appeared in his dream. You're both broken but maybe you can learn to be better through each other.

Pairing: Sim Jaeyun x reader

Genre: scott pilgrim au!, band au!, set in 2000s, he's kinda silly.

Cast: Sunghoon, jay, sumin (stayc)

Warning: reader smokes once :(

Word Count: 2k

Notes: this is for neo127's event! this was genuinely so fun to write, thank you for the fun event! this is actually a deleted scene that I love sm, i wanted to be so poetic but i had to stop my demons cause this is a movie with tom foolery and deep meaning. also i'm kind of stupid and saved this in drafts and not queue.

masterlist

Take 1

There was a ringing in Jake’s mind that alerted him of the dangers awaiting him, but the allure of your presence removed all prior warnings. You came into his life like a dream, filled the hollow void in his soul. None of his past attempts at experiencing euphoria or reaching infinity worked, but with you around entertaining his unfunny jokes, he was consumed by the black hole in one clean swoop.

In other terms, you were the little riff he needed in the song, the extra healing ability granted to his game characters, you were a dream. The warning, the future and the rest was history. It was only you and him in the whole universe. By your side, Jake finally felt like the world wasn’t against him.

Or so he thought.

Seven little exes, not seven little kisses.

Take 2

Jake forced his body to move. “Left right, left right”, he mumbled and mechanically trudged up the stairs, bumping into drunk partygoers without an apology. He caught a glimpse of you the other day and he prayed the next time you saw him he’d be taller and looked way cooler, not desperate or down bad at all. Hopefully, he’d find the courage to approach you in privacy. It had been ages of simply dreaming about you.

Not even the buzz of the party could get your eyes and nonchalant expression out of Jake’s mind. The thirst to reunite left him dry to the bone and in dire need of the washroom due to pure boredom sparked by the party. His drink sploshed in the red up, spilt over the rim and onto the cuff of his new jacket. He winced at the sticky and cold sensation.

At this point, he was willing to manifest you into appearing.

Jake reached the landing and felt Comeau call out to him. “Wanna drink with us?”

He shook his head and slightly pouted. “No, I don’t drink”.

Comeau frowned at him, “What do you mean you don’t drink?”

Jake offered a non-committed shrug and lightly waved his arm around.

“This is just iced coffee”.

His friend’s frown deepened. “What does that mean? I distinctively remember you being drunk-”

“Hey you know everyone, right?”, Jake swiftly brushed off the memory and swayed Comeau by the compliment. “You know this one girl with hair like this?”

His pout was replaced with a determined look and pulled out crumpled paper with a poorly sketched one-lined drawing of what appeared to be a face with no evident features or expressions. There was no possible way to understand the scribble immediately.

His friend rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, I know her. That’s Y/N-“

God was real. The universe loved him and perhaps this was good karma for all the okay things he had done in life. His friend continued to ramble trivia about you but it all flew over Jake’s head until he heard I heard she was going to be here tonight and it brought heat back into his veins. All it took were those mere words to become the catalyst of his insanity.

Jake dove into the crowd, and took in the sight of numerous strangers with unfamiliar hairstyles and smiles. He searched for your dyed hair in the crowd and despite unsteady breathing and shaking hands due to anticipation and nervousness, his gaze met your frame leaning on a wall. Hair pink instead of blue and you were alone holding a cup which served as a friend. You appeared bored out of your mind, glancing at the drunk bodies dancing around in bliss. Jake wondered asking you if you wanted a refill.

He slid on the dirty wallpapered wall and inch close to you. As he felt heat radiate off your body, he took it as a sign to halt. Though he tried to be subtle, his desperation to talk to you poured down his body in a giant tidal wave. Jake turned his honey eyes to your figure, it was party concealed under his locks that covered an eye. You stared right at him.

“Do you like pac man?”, the words stumbled out of his lips before he realised.

What? No-no, that’s not-

You gave him a slight nod then shifted your attention back to the crowd. Uncommitted but it did not discourage him.

He shuffled closer to you; the creases of his oversized jacket bumped into the bag strap on your shoulder. You didn't move away.

Jake cheered internally; this was going well.

Jake took it as a sign to continue. He puffed his chest out. “You know the original name for Pac-Man was Puck-Man. Not because he looks like a hockey puck. But it's Paku Paku. Means flap your mouth."

He planned on offering you a detailed history of the game, a topic that the pair of you apparently shared and enjoyed. That was before you placed your full untouched cup on a table and turned to him.

He hadn't realised you moved to look up at him.

"But they thought people would scratch out the "p" and turn it into an "f" like-"

Jake's voice died in his throat and his eyes blinked at the intensity of your gaze. You stared up at him with calm wisdom, hiding all the secrets in the world in your gaze.

He observed how there was a thin sheen of sweat on your hairline despite the cold season of decay. With so many bodies running, dancing and chatting away, the house was bound to get humid.

Jake could barely hear your voice over the thump thump of his heartbeat. The tips of your hair that clung onto the apples of your cheek moved when you spoke.

You took a step closer to him and whatever confidence he had evaporated. Jake fumbled with the end of his jacket and then promptly shoved his hands inside his pockets.

You did not look displeased at the sight, in fact, nothing changed in your eyes but Jake swore he saw a hint of a small smile. However, his fear and nerves got the best of him.

"I'm going to leave you alone forever now-"

"Wanna get out of here?"

Take 3

The sky was dark again. The winter nights crept up quickly, shunning the sun away but Jake liked it.

He liked how the night sky reminded him of you, the simple serene moments spent either in silence or secrecy.

You brought light into his life. It was dark elsewhere.

He saw a shadow of a figure dressed in several jackets a couple of feet away and only when he walked closer did he realise who it was.

"What are you doing here?", he called out to you, referring to the time.

You quirked up an unamused brow.

"Dude, I was waiting for you."

Immediately Jake felt apologetic. And maybe a bit pathetic that he came late (on time) to the hangout (unofficial official date). Or maybe he felt giddy knowing you didn't show your nervous attitude yet cared deeply enough for him to arrive on time.

"I'm sorry. I thought you assumed you were too cool to arrive on time", he confessed. It was easier with you.

He didn't have to lie about where he went like how he did whenever Sunghoon asked him about his whereabouts or skirt around in conversations where Sumin decided to target him (all for reasons that proved he deserved it).

He didn't need to pretend he was someone better, a moralistic ideal version of himself or someone worse, an edgy rockstar who had a strange code of rules to live by.

With you, Jake could be transparent. All his unpolished edges, raw mistakes and life missteps were seen and never judged.

You were like him and he was like you.

Maybe there was a reason he saw you in his dreams long before. Maybe the two of you were interconnected in a cosmic way. He didn't know.

You looked at him up and down before turning and beginning to walk near the middle of the park.

"Well, you were wrong".

Jake quickly walked beside you and fell into the same rhythm. "Do you wanna get a bite? Or watch a movie? We could get pizza before watching something. We could flip through the records I have at home".

You gently shook your head and Jake couldn't help but pout at your dismissal.

"What's wrong?" He asked, too impatient.

You sighed softly; air comes out in puffs of smoke.

You point at nearby empty swings. The chain was rustic and seems strong enough to carry two adults.

"Follow me", you whispered in the late night. There was no one around. The park was deserted, filled with snow to the brim. The swing seats squeaked when you brushed off the sleeping snow from them.

Jake sniffled, shoved his hands in his pockets once more. He didn't mind the silence until it stretched on for more than a minute, maybe...maybe it was less but Jake hated silence.

"This is nice", he shuffled and lightly kicked his feet off the ground. The metal shrieked and he swayed back and forth.

You nodded and mimicked his actions.

"This is nice".

Jake turned to look at you once more. He noticed how often he'd stare at you only to look away when you caught his gaze. There was something that had been on his mind for days. He tip toed towards the topic.

"So, why'd you come to Seoul?"

Immediately you look down at your shoes, then swing yourself higher than before.

"I wanted a change of scenery. Needed a reset and got a job here so I thought, why not?"

It was an honest reply.

The sound of gravel grabbed his attention, the metal squeaked again and you paused the pendulum to fish out an item from your pocket.

He had to squint in the minimal lighting and Jake had to hold in his surprise as you pulled out a cigarette and lit it easily.

A hand covered your lips and the tip of the cigarette, the small flame decorated the end of your nose and chin in a scarlet hue. Jake stared at you in awe, doe eyes widened.

"You smoke?", he couldn't help it. You did wonders at surprising him each time you met.

You inhaled it slowly and turned from Jake's direction to blow the air. Two fingers toyed with the cigarette.

"On special occasions". Your lips stretched a bit and Jake saw how the gloss shone under the moonlight. God, he was doomed from the start.

He didn't mind the bounce in his voice, he tiled his position and brought his swing next to yours until the metal chains halted him. The scent of slight smoke and your citrus perfume filled his senses.

It felt like he was on stage once more, guitar in his hands, flicking away at the strings with inhuman speed. He felt the high he experienced on stage; the surge of emotions that made him giddy. He tapped his foot unconsciously, imitating the vibrations the band would feel when Sumin hit her drums.

"Is this a special occasion?"

Your eyes hadn't stranded him and his lovesick expression finally pulled a laugh out of you. You were satisfied when you moved to Seoul, but the buds in your stomach began to blossom, Jake made you crave for more than satisfactory.

"I don't know. You tell me", you teased him and Jake's smile got wider. His eyes crinkled adorably and you could see the gums of his teeth with how wide he was smiling.

Then, for a split second, something flashed in his eyes, something serious. It paused your arm mid-way from bringing the cigarette to your lips.

Jake averted his gaze, his dark brown bangs covered his face from view, and you could only see the tip of his tall nose and his red ears. Perhaps from the cold, perhaps from you.

He took a deep breath.

"When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time."

When he finished, Jake turned to you and the poor swing squeaked once more. His face was determined, shoulders no longer hunched like usual but his eyes wavered, swam across your form to see a hint of disgust or discomfort from you.

You laughed in his face.

"Hey!", Jake shouted and it echoed in the night.

Loud laughter bubbled from your lips, you tried to hide your mouth behind your free hand but Jake quickly grabbed it so he could defend himself. Seeing how delighted you were, your entire body buzzing with giggles, Jake felt himself relax and giggle with you. Though he didn't let go of your arm.

He saw the fallen cigarette on the ground, you probably forgot about it when you began to chuckle. He leaned forward and stepped on it.

When he landed his attention on you, you were more composed but the shaking did not stop. It was a futile attempt at covering your glee, Jake was obsessed, he was probably feeling the L-word (love) as well but he wasn't sure.

Though he understood from all the times he couldn't concentrate in practice and Sunghoon or Jay would have to call his name loudly to pull him out of daydreams of you and back to reality, when Sumin stopped questioning his intentions with you and replaced her usual indifferent glares with mild fascination, Jake knew he felt something more than like for you. He felt like he was hypnotised by your melody, your casual demeanour, overflowing confidence and assured attitude. It sucked him in from the night he dreamt of you.

Jake's hand slithered down from the curve of your elbow and slipped into the warmth of your hand. Your laughter had finally ceased, now replaced with a tender look. Jake smiled like he had never done before. You interlocked your fingers together and squeezed him palm.

It would be okay, the future would be more than okay-probably. He'd still have to go to practice, get yelled at by his sister and then get yelled at other bands when Sunghoon irked them on purpose. Maybe he'd have to eventually confront your seven exes. Nothing about you was simple, everything was too intricate, it was like he had entered a game and had to win all rounds before getting crowned "official boyfriend".

But it was more than okay because Jake knew you were worth it-you liked him and he liked you. There were no mind games, this was the simplest love he had experienced. He couldn’t stop thinking of you and you couldn’t stop ringing his landline. By your side, Jake concluded that even if he wasn’t the strongest, he’d figure out a way and fight the world for you.

Thank you for reading. Please do not edit/translate

[wellthebardsdead]

Wyll: I’m curious, Ezekiel, do you remember the Paladin you squired for?

Ezekiel: oh gods it was over a century ago now, he was-… *pauses as the worm taps into memories not even the hells could erase* so… handsome… and so… kind… he smelt, like sage, and sandalwood… his name was… Thomun… *suddenly grips his chest as an indescribable pain seizes his heart, memories of a kiss shared beneath selûnes light in the stable yard snuffed out by a vision of the paladin laying beneath him, the light leaving his eyes as he reaches up to stroke his cheek and whisper something he can’t recall* NO!!! NO PLEASE NO ITS NOT TRUE! IT CANT BE TRUE!! *grabs at his horns and drops to his knees weeping as the realisation dawns on him, he was the final soul baalphegor chose to train him* Why?! Gods why did it have to be him?! Helm was supposed to protect him!! Thomun! Thomun!!!

*6 months later*

Zevlor: *stroking Ezekiel’s side as they stand before an old grave, the incubus oblivious to the presence of two other figures joining them in the silence* …

Oathbreaker knight: You see him, do you not?… the one drying your beloveds tears?

Zevlor: *staring ahead at a spectre gently stroking Ezekiel’s face and whispering softly* … *nods*

Oathbreaker: He has come to bid his beloved farewell, and offer you his oath. Should you accept it, I will bear witness…

Zevlor: *looks at him, then back at the spectre to see them now kneeling, offering a holy blade to helm in their grasp* …You’re Thomun, aren’t you?

Ezekiel: *blinks and looks up at him* who are you? Talking to?

Thomun: *smiles sadly* Aye, I am. He can’t see me, and perhaps it’s… for the best… Helm kept his promise… my soul was not sacrificed to make him what he is… he snatched my soul away from Ezekiel… just as his parents snatched him away from me… We were supposed to get married, to serve helms order together, to defend and protect the swordcoast and all who needed protecting… and I spent my last days, bringing my wrathful justice down upon everyone who took him away from me, from his parents, to the devils they sold him to… but I got captured before I could save him, and my story ended with him weeping over my corpse… so now I offer you my oath, along with my blade to fulfill it. In the name of Helm… please… Protect him with your life… and love him forever…

Zevlor: I accept… *reaches out, taking the blade as it manifests into reality* on my honour, I will love and protect Ezekiel until my dying breath. And forevermore after that…

Ezekiel: *in stunned silence from his word, so overwhelmed with love it takes him a moment to even recognise the blade* Zevlor- that’s-

Thomun: *smiles and nods, rising to his feet as he begins to disappear* helm is awaiting me… *walks to Ezekiel and gently holds his face, unnoticed by the incubus beyond the cool presence on his skin* my heart will always be yours… *kisses his cheek before vanishing into the wind*

Oathbreaker: So it is spoken, so it is done… Congratulations, Paladin… *disappears too*

Zevlor: … *smiles and sets the sword down before pulling Ezekiel in and giving him a deep kiss*

Ezekiel: mm! *pulls back* b-but my saliva- it’s addictive- you’ll-

Zevlor: be kissing you every day for the rest of my life and longer still I’d like to hope I become addicted to you~

Ezekiel: I- y-you- *pulls him in by his horns for another kiss*

[harryforvogue]

how about FAYE taking care of HARRY because he’s got a COLD because he ALWAYS bundles HER in HIS hat/scarf/gloves while they’re walking to the bus cause he needs his girl to be WARM but that leaves his little ears and nose all cold & red which leads to him getting SICK. & she’s living her best life making him soup & tea & cuddling him & watching his favorite movies <3333

( and don’t come at me because it’s summer i’m manifesting cooler weather tnx <3 )

“So I’m not saying I like it when you’re sick,” Faye says, very concentrated on bringing the tray of food to Harry without slipping. In fact, she stops talking altogether until she’s in the living room, placing the tray very slowly on the table. “But I do like taking care of you. After the whole freak out thing of course. I am much more calm and level headed now.”

Harry’s resting with his head back against the couch, his face flushed with fever. His chest rises and falls with labored breaths. “If I said that, I think you’d cry.”

“I do not cry anymore.”

“Please,” Harry says weakly. “Don’t make me bring up all the examples from the past two weeks.”

She sits beside him. “Anyways, I didn’t have chicken on account of being vegetarian and all and I didn’t have chicken stock either so that soup is more of a miso and tofu noodle soup, okay? I probably should have asked if you even eat tofu.”

He awkwardly sits up, pushing the layers of blankets down to his lap. Instead of reaching for the food, he takes Faye’s hand. “I love you. As my dying wish, I ask you to find happiness. Date and marry the man who makes you happy. All I ask is that you don’t date any of my coworkers. They’re too mean for you.”

Faye smiles. “So thoughtful of you. Want me to feed you?” But the way she says it actually makes it seem like she’s demanding it. “Good.” She takes a spoonful and brings it to Harry’s mouth.

“Love,” he says tiredly. “It’s too hot.”

“Oh right. Um, do you want me to blow on it?”

At that exact moment, Timothée walks by. He looks at Harry on the couch. “What the hell happened to you? Who’s blowing what?” He holds a hand up. “Don’t answer that.”

“I got him sick,” Faye says. 

“She didn’t,” Harry croaks. “It was basically on me.”

Timmy looks at her. Then Harry. Then slowly puts his arm over his face and steps back. “Er, alright. Well. I’m going to work so … you’ve got the house to yourself.”

“Yeah yeah,” Harry says.

“If you need anything, just let me know. I’ll grab it on my way home.”

“Tell the guys I should be back by next week.”

With that, Timmy is gone. Harry’s eyes are closed again. Faye decides she shouldn’t blow on his food, so she just awkwardly waves the spoon in the air until it’s cooled enough. Then she holds it to his mouth. “Ready?”

Harry’s eyes flutter open. “Yes. Sorry.” He drinks it. “Mm that’s good.”

“Really?!”

“Really. Thank you, love.”

“Let this be a lesson for you. No more giving me your hat and gloves when we’re out, got it?”

Harry tries to laugh. “How about you start bringing actual warm clothing, especially during the winter?”

“Sure. I'll do that too.”

“No, I’m not so sure that you will since you like taking care of me so much. You’ll get me sick on purpose.”

She gasps. “I’d never.” She gives him another spoonful. “Maybe your body is just weak because I’ve never gotten sick from the cold.”

“Weak?”

“Yeah. I mean before you, I always went out in the cold like that and never got sick.”

Harry opens his mouth for more soup. “It’s some medical thing we can’t explain.” He frowns. “I don’t like that nobody took care of you before me.”

“Well in their defense, I’m a grown woman and should be able to take care of myself. It’s really a fault on my part.”

“You were sad,” he argues. “You needed someone.”

“Well then I found someone.”

Harry perks up. “Yes. You did. And you know what? I’ve changed my mind about the whole dating after me thing.”

“Oh yeah?” Faye smiles.

“Yeah. I’ll just come back as a ghost so we’ll never really be apart.”

“What made you change your mind?”

He says, “The thought of you spoon feeding another man.”

“Really?” she laughs. “That’s what got you? There are far other romantic things I could do with someone else.”

“Being spoon fed is at the top of my list of romantic actions. It’s a love language I think.” She gives him another spoonful. He sighs deeply and then shuffles over to rest his head on her shoulder. “Your boyfriend is a mouth breather. How does that make you feel?”

“I don’t mind,” she tells him, patting his cheek. “I love you.”

“Despite the sweatiness.”

“Despite.”

“You're my baby."

She lays her head on his, kissing his sweaty hair. “Despite me never dressing for the weather?”

He takes a very deep breath and stays silent for longer than necessary. He finally says, “Yes” and then opens his mouth for more soup.

[girlhelpicf]

read my updated nico di angelo headcanons boy. six angst two not angst

consistently so exhausted his speech is affected, he talks real slow and runs out of breath halfway through words, it started in the labyrinth when minos was siphoning off his life force and that stuff is #really hard to get back. he refuses to sleep willingly after tartarus which doesn’t help at all but don’t say that to his face. if he blinks and doesn’t manage to open his eyes fast enough he’s down for like five minutes

when all that built up exhaustion finally got too much for him he physically wasn’t able to sleep no matter how hard he tried. because some part of him didn’t super get the concept of not being in immediate danger while unconscious. so he walked over to the hypnos cabin and collapsed on their porch like PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

nobody talks about shadow travel body horror enough. his lungs (or his intestines or his optic nerve etc) will take a little longer to manifest than he does sometimes so for a second he just does not have the ability to breathe and he sounds like the worlds hoarsest dying rabbit. its not gory theres no blood hes just lacking a very very vital organ. he can’t die from it because I said so. unless u really want him to. I posted this one thousand years ago

his resting heartrate is so slow youd think he was actively dying all the time, when he gets injured his blood is coagulating already so it just oozes like slime YUCK

mobility aids.need I say more

suffers really bad delusions about being stuck in the labyrinth still. think NoEnd House

his someone-im-close-to-just-died sense isn’t violent it’s just kind of like. his ears buzz a little louder than usual (his general death sense manifests as a persistent buzzing and people die all the time relentlessly so he’s never really had a moment of silence. ever) and it feels like his chest his full of helium and he just KNOWS (his emotional reaction when he realizes what’s happening is the intense part). all his panic attacks feel really similar and it makes him freak the fuck out even more

read wild geese by Mary Oliver. cried 

[antihibikase2]

He does not remember the life he has led before- nor does he think it is a life worth remembering.

In the darkness, all he could see were angry glares, faces contorted into ones of disgust or fear. The words that leave their lips are just as degrading, labeling him a creature of the night- surely, not one of the creations of "Old Sinnoh".

With his dying breath, he howls to the moon-a curse of his own, to the god above.

Arceus,

Creatures such as he, leading such cursed existences- what purpose did they serve, other than to be hated?

Why have you forsaken me?

He snarls; a shadowy figure manifests across him, face obscured by their parasol- the only thing he sees is the pendant she wears, shaped like a tear.

A dying dream, he thinks.

Even as their laughter rings in his ears, clear as a bell.

"Oh my, a Zoroark?"

…

He bites and claws the hand that feeds; but the hand does not strike back, merely curling into a fist, claws digging into their skin- and relaxing, offering an open palm to the beast.

"You and I are more alike than you think, dearest Zoroark,"

The smiling woman must be insane, he thinks.

But, seeing how her shadow stretches into something incoherent, a void that threatens to swallow him whole- he supposes she might be right; even if he himself was a mere Pokemon, and she herself was-

"Not one of His creations."

"How ironic, coming from you- you were persecuted for the same thing, were you not?"

He flinches.

"Oh, you silly little thing. Such abilities are not beyond the power of Giratina- of course I know what you are thinking about."

Her black dress drags on the blood stained grass, withering as the fabric brushes against the blades. Each step she takes, a trail of death follows; he could smell it.

"Poor creature. You have done so much good for the world- to be exiled from your pack because you chose to live with humans; and to be killed by the same humans you protected,"

She speaks of his pain as if it were her own- as if she understood.

"And to die cursing Arceus- I was the same."

Illuminated by the moon, her bronze eyes shine into a deep red.

"That is why I am here."

He has heard of tales of witches before- cursed humans who dabbled with life and death, often disguising themselves as healers among the land.

In particular, the rumors concern those of the Celestica bloodline; supposed fanatics of Arceus, who lived amongst themselves, secluded from the rest of human society.

In a way, they really were similar, weren't they?

"So, you know about the Celestica? Then surely, you must know,"

His ghastly white fur, written in books as a sign of bad omen- and her blonde hair, whispered among townsfolk as a curse.

"The suffering of my people- my ancestors and our descendants, just like you Zoroark."

She crouches to his level, lowering her parasol.

She holds the pendant up to him.

"I have given you a second chance at life, just as Giratina had with me- and just as Giratina is serving Arceus through me, you shall do the same."

That pleasant smile is nothing short of sinister, scarier than any other Zoroark's.

"Come with me- unless you want to be hunted again."

And really- he would have been a fool to refuse.

As his paw reaches out to shake her gloved hand, curled around the pendant, he finds himself asking,

"Who are you?"

Her red eye flickers back to brown.

"Please call me Lady Cogita."

…

The Zoroark of Kalos were different creatures- still feared and fabled, but their furs were dyed a deep black; and he noticed very quickly that they were not as prideful as Hisuian Zoroark.

Though he morphed into a smaller creature to avoid suspicion, trotting alongside Lady Cogita, the Zoroark that roamed the forest avoided them at all costs- as if they could see the dark auras granted to them by Giratina.

"We're here."

Parting through the leaves, he is welcomed into a village bathed in sunlight, hidden deep in a forest south of Snowbelle.

A Gallde that guards the entrance glares down at his smaller form, seeing through his disguise.

But, Lady Cogita places a soothing hand on its shoulder.

"As far as anyone is concerned, darling,"

She gestures to her smaller companion.

"This is an Eevee. No?"

His tail flicks, silver fur shimmering.

A convincing disguise to most- but an unsettling presence to very few.

He supposed that psychic types, as well as fellow Zoroark, could see through it with ease.

She could not understand what the Gallade says- but the Zoroark does, and bites back his tongue when the sentry of the village mutters something under its breath.

"He takes his duty very seriously." She simply says.

He rolls his eyes at that- and follows her as she leads him to the village, greeted by many others, donned in robes of white.

They look up at her with proud smiles, welcoming her return warmly and offering to throw a feast to celebrate her arrival. A loving display of community, something he had seen quite often in his home region- especially towards explorers who braved through Hisui's wilderness and returned home to their families.

They seemed to be unaware of her shadow, or her alliance with Giratina; but the red flowers do not seem to die in her wake as they did with those of Hisui.

"The flowers of eternity are blooming beautifully- that is enough celebration for me," She tells the village elder. "I am happy; surely, this was a blessing brought to us by Arceus."

The mention of Arceus makes him wince, something that does not escape Lady Cogita's gaze.

He scoffs- and she lightly nudges him with her foot to scold him.

"Truly. You were correct, miss Cogita- his birth was a gift from Arceus Himself."

"Of course- he is an angel sent to us, a little dove."

A little bird; funny, he himself used to hunt for those.

When he pokes his nose up at her, she simply smiles at him, and leads him deep into the village.

He takes it that she's some sort of authority around these parts; wild Pokemon feared her for her aura, while humans respected her for her knowledge, possibly unaware of her deal with the devil- or the beast that accompanied her.

He does not understand why she chose to bring him to life, other than for her own amusement.

But, as she leads him into a house bathed in sunlight, surrounded by Pokemon- he sees why.

"Acro, darling,"

A small child lifts their head from the book they were buried in, red petals on their blonde hair.

"I'm home- I have a surprise for you."

...

"There once was a time where humans feared Zoroark,"

N says, tone laced in sadness.

"Even until now, such a reputation follows them. They are frightening creatures, yes- but I do not think they deserve to be shunned."

Two of the shadows stay still- one assigned to the false king, the other assigned to the pair of goddesses.

The other shadow, with his golden eyes and red tips, white hair messier than the other two's- was assigned to the heirloom.

"What do you think, Doctor Colress?"

The doctor.

"I wonder if it is us who chose to shun them- or it was those creatures who chose to live separately from humans. Surely, they could make their own choices-"

He speaks just like his mother had, wise and direct,

"-and perhaps, they were correct in doing so. Humans are much more unpredictable; those who desire to kill hide their claws. If anything, it is Zoroark who fear them- and humans merely used that against them."

But scared.

Lady Cogita was never scared.

N takes his answer into account, smiles,

"You understand Pokemon very well, Doctor,"

And reaches out to pat his shoulder, in a show of comraderie.

From the corner of his eye, he sees the doctor flinch- but he balls his fists to his side, golden eyes flickering uncomfortably between his shadow and his doll, who remained in the corner of the room.

"You're a valuable asset to Team Plasma; it makes me relieved that you're part of our operations. Not all humans can unconditionally understand Pokemon like we can."

He means it with no malice- his aura says so.

But the doctor does not take his words as they are.

Those who desire to kill hide their claws, as he said- something he applied to all he would come into contact with, wary like a Zoroark.

The doctor pats N's hand with his own- and slides it off of him.

"Do not compare me to the likes of you," was what he wanted to spit out.

But, he says something else.

"If you excuse me, my king, I have work to attend to."

He glances at his shadow once more.

"Tres. Carry my materials to the laboratory."

Their eyes meet- and the pendant under his clothes beats like the heart he once had.

"To follow my dove to the edges of the world, in darkness and in light-"

He bows, one hand on his chest.

"That is your purpose."

[deathfavor]

@ashrifts said: 🍻+ “ do you regret letting me close ?” for izana :)

send 🍻 + a question for my muse's drunken (honest) answer

It would be hard for most people to realize that Izana's gone past his limits with alcohol. It isn't a new thing, but it also isn't something that is common either. Normally he drinks just enough to relax and escape his head. Tonight he's gone well past that though his steady gaze doesn't show the typical signs of drunkenness. But he needs out, it's too loud and crowded and the fun from the first hour is replaced by misery. He turns and there's a subtle wobble, quickly fixed but evidently not quick enough when a familiar presence manifests by his side. His head pounds as he leans against Ran and he makes his intentions clear. Outside. At least for a bit. Sometimes he leaves when he takes these breaks, sometimes he goes back. He's a stubborn king who yields to no one but himself and even that is debatable at times.

The night air is welcoming against his flushed skin but the idea of being in the open makes his skin crawl. It doesn't matter when there's the luxury car they arrived in - but Izana kicks the driver out with an order to come back in an hour and promptly crawls into the back of the limo where its blissfully quiet and the leather is cool. He beckons Ran to sit and then decides to drop his head onto his lap. The rest of the world is kicked out and rejected - but the king allows one of his to remain. If Rindou was present, he would have him too. But he'd been busy with the music last that Izana could recall in his foggy memory. His eyes slip close - and then the question.

Wisteria eyes open, staring sideways at the other side of the car while the question sinks in with a heavy weight. He rolls onto his back instead, white locks splayed across the black fabric of Ran's outfit while he stares up at the oldest of the Haitani brothers. Does he regret it?

" Sometimes. " Izana finally answers, very quiet despite the silence the car offers them and knowledge they cannot be heard from outside the car. Rubatosis overtakes him as he stares at Ran. He does not owe any further explanation. He didn't even owe an answer. But alcohol has loosened his lips and truth he'd otherwise keep buried under the floorboards of his heart has now been shared. " I don't. But sometimes I do. I don't want you to leave. Or Rindou. Or Kakucho. Or Mucho, or Mocchi, or even Shion. " He laughs, pained and raw like a dying animal when the ugly admission comes clawing past his teeth like a traitor. He can hear his own breath shaking and his head falls to the side, cheek pressed to Ran's thigh.

" I don't think I could handle it. That scares me. " Izana whispers, and he can feel the frantic pace his heart races to at the thought. Can Ran feel it? How it jumps? " I said I'd never let anyone hurt me like the incident that led to what I did to end up in juvie. " He has never spoken of it, not even to those closest to him. " That might. I regret it at times for that reason. " It is what had also given life to the idea that if nothing else, he could always rule through fear to ensure obedience. As long as they listened...as long as they didn't abandon him...

Izana's head turns back towards Ran, lips parted slightly. " Not always though. " Izana doesn't remember the name for the feeling that claws at him with a demand to make this, too, known. Once he'd known it more, but it had been strangled in the night like his old self, yet now it rises from its grave in his chest. " You make me happy. " And it feels like a self-inflicted murder to say the words, because one part of him loathes the admission and the other demands to say before he forgets again. " Warm. When we're all together. " He blinks, frowns as though something has upset him, and then speaks again. " But also just you. As Ran Haitani. I think sometimes you know me more than I know me. You keep the abyss away even without knowing it. "

Izana reaches a hand out for one of Ran's, fingers graceful even when slowed by the alcohol, and then links their pinkies together like that childish promise in juvie before Tenjiku had formed. He stares for a long minute, not saying anything more but just lingering like that before looking up to Ran's face to see his reaction. " Can we just stay here a bit more? " And even drunk, Izana knows his word is law - but he also does not intend to force Ran to stay here where it feels like layers of him are being peeled away if he'd prefer the fun of the party inside.

[tsofan1224]

Dear everyone,

I likely have to let my cat go tomorrow. She's 15 years old and probably has cancer. She's declined drastically since January. She's lost so much weight, isn't even resting comfortably, is having breathing problems, and wants to eat, but can't. She's essentially a skeleton wearing a fur coat. It breaks my heart knowing that I'm going to lose her right before my 21st birthday and during the Christmas season, and I wouldn't get to start the new year with her. I probably won't get to bring her home from the vet tomorrow. I've had her since I was five. I'm trying to give her a good last night. We're listening to Christmas music and enjoying rose-scented air freshener. I think she knows I'm sad, because she stares at me and purrs when I cry. I apologize to her for not saving her when I had the chance.

Because of this, I'm taking a longer break from law of assumption and reality shifting. I also feel like an absolute failure as a manifester and shifter, because one of my desires was/is better health for my kitty and shifting to a reality where she's healthy. I now fear I'll never manifest and shift at all, ever. I don't know where I went wrong. I'm apparently supposed to persist, and not spiral or waver, but obsessing over doing and not doing that stuff has taken a toll on my mental health. I feel like it's my fault my cat is dying, both inside and outside of law of assumption. I'm told to persist and to not waver or spiral, but I struggle with these things. I'm aware that things can change for the better at any time, but I need to acknowledge and feel my emotions and process things, even if they're not what I want in the 3D. I need to grieve, even if it's against law of assumption and reality shifting. I wasn't going to just ignore my cat for the sake of doing them, and I never will.

My break will at least last the rest of the year, but I'll pick them back up sometime in the new year. Maybe in the new year, I'll play it by ear to see when I should pick them back up. Maybe someday I'll figure out where I went wrong in manifesting and shifting. Maybe someday I can live the master manifester life I see others living, as well as the master shifter life I see others living. I feel hopeless (don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt myself or anyone else) and helpless in them. I've been on my manifesting journey for almost two years now, and it can feel like I've made no progress. I feel like I should've manifested and shifted by now. As with being a pet owner, it can feel like I'm not doing enough and like I'm doing it wrong. I'm afraid it's going to be a long time more before I finally manifest and shift, if it ever happens.

I don't even know where to start when I come back from my break. I don't even know how to handle my kitty's (likely) last appointment tomorrow.

Signed,

tsofan1224

[sambambucky]

Wip game: lol that one movie but a horror fr

hiii ty! so... it's a space horror...? in the middle of a long range mission to relocate an entire population to a new planet across the galaxy, an error causes sam to wake up long before he was supposed to.

bucky, the only other human awake, has the terrible responsibility of informing sam that there's no way to put them back into cryosleep and they don't have enough supplies to survive the trip. they'll die on the ship together, lightyears before they ever make it to their destination.

maybe a space tragedy..? spoilery outline/rambling under the cut!

ok so i did have to look it up because i did not ever watch the movie, but this is vagule based on passengers (2016), more specifically on an episode of a podcast that i dont actually listen to anymore (miss you mid 2010s era Cracked podcast) where they would sometimes talk about 'bad' movies that had the potential to be WAY better if you changed a character or the ending or focused on a different part (hancock is one of my fave examples of this and i WILL die on that hill)

again, i dont know what happens in the actual movie, but in the fic..

-sam starts in denial, and bucky dutifully goes through the motions of trying to help sam fix their cryopods even though you can't; he's already spent an eternity trying everything -they hate each other, actually. seriously. they spend all of their time yelling at each other, and then sniping at each other, then just bickering, and eventually mostly just talking, getting to know each other -naturally something goes wrong, a classic space accident. they think fast and work in sync to save the rest of their sleeping crew and passengers, and well, there are worse people they could have been stuck with -bucky has to tell him. eventually -they fuck with the AI, dance in zero g, read books to each other, watch movies on a tiny screen, pull up the ship's manifest and make up stories about the people they'll never meet

-they pile into a tiny bed and dream about what they could have been if they'd met 50 years ago on inhabitable earth -they fall in love, or, whatever version of love there is to find between two people who only have each other in the oppressive vastness of space

-bucky confesses to sam, can barely make himself say the words but, he tells him that the only malfunction was with his cryochamber, that the only reason sam was defrosted is because bucky's a bad person, half crazy with loneliness by the time he even let himself think to do something so terrible, and he still tried not to do it, but his selfishness won out in the end -sam calls him a monster, a murderer, and swears to never speak to him again for the rest of their lives -they spend six sleep cycles apart, ten more not speaking, before sam chooses to forgive him. what else can he do? -the space ship - their prison, their home - is struck by space debris, or is attacked by pirates, does it even matter? bucky's bleeding out, bucky is dying in sam's arms, using his last breath to tell sam he loves him, to apologize, to swear that this time with sam has been the happiest time in his entire life

-so sam has to do this alone

-sam can do this alone

-he follows a routine, he takes care of himself and the ship

-he misses bucky more than he can even comprehend

-he grieves the future he was promised, the person he was supposed to be

-and, thanks to Cracked Podcast!!!, it closes with sam looking grave, mouth in a thin, unhappy line. his hand hovers over a glowing green 'defrost' button

[s-talking]

@tigermcth: ⠀⠀ the stranger’s near immediate recovery produces a cold shudder to spread rapidly throughout his body, and the desperate attempt to escape proved futile. &&. it was only when he caught sight of an encroaching hand that his head jerks back against textured wood with a thud. jeoh grits his teeth as he feels nails, unnaturally sharp, drag across the flushed skin of his cheeks, leaving raised lines that exuded ichor. he’s only given a moment of relief when his lips & jaw are inspected, the razor-sharp sensation only returning when they dig into his neck. ⠀⠀ ❝ tsk!! ❞ he wriggles, body finally showing some resistance, but not enough that could compete with the inhuman strength & speed of the opposing. ❝ let me go, ❞ parted lips rasped, mortified as his frame is constricted by lithe appearing arms, the prominent popping sound of the bones igniting more adrenaline that still wasn’t doing shit-all to assist overpowering the other’s grip. ❝ you goddamn bastar—ah ! ❞ teeth break through the skin & muscles of jeoh’s neck, the rest of him contracting as the stranger took whatever he wanted which jeoh presumed was his life.

⠀⠀ being flushed against this stranger the scent of poppies tickle at the sensory hairs in his nose, allowing a spurt of serotonin to fire off in his brain, aiding him to relax against the strain which alleviated some of the pain. from there, his mind submerge itself into the same acceptance he often resulted in similar moments of helplessness. often, his survival superseded his pride, because it was always control they wanted. submitting, or at least giving the impression he was,was what usually kept him breathing. defining whether this was just that or true acceptance couldn’t be distinguished, not even in his own mind where thoughts slowed & muddled together. ⠀⠀ with cheek flush against the pale neck of his assailant, a whine crawls out from the back of his throat, sounding more like a plea than a reaction to pain. ❝ oppa— please~ ❞ eyelids, which now felt as though anchors were attached to them, fall closed as he faints.

𝐀 𝐃𝐄𝐄𝐏, 𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐂𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 & 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐂 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐎𝐎𝐑 𝐋𝐀𝐌𝐁 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐒 seduces the young serial killer, charming him, beguiling him to keep on going despite the ensuing struggle, the warmth of jeoh's blood pouring down his wicked tongue like sun-kissed nectar, ❝ mnnhhh..... ❞ & it's delicious. so much so, the long fangs sink even deeper, tearing into the boy's yielding flesh with sheer ease before hooking in.

       it'd be just so easy to rip him apart.

to make him scream & writhe between his clenching teeth, but that miserable plea.... it catches envy off-guard. he slowly withdraws his fangs from the bleeding punctures, lapping at them once more with a sleek tongue before pulling back just enough to stare at that doll-like face. my, poor thing, he thinks; i should have just ripped his throat out instead....

becoming somewhat disappointed by own choice of action, the young serial killer smiles without any real emotion behind those cold dead eyes, glistening blood trickling from his elegant chin & jaw in thick droplets. ❝ ..... ... ❞ such a pity, indeed. envy always liked to see them suffer before dying. oh well. suddenly lifting jeoh off the ground, envy fixes his unconscious body over own broad shoulder & most nonchalantly turns back towards the spade left behind; a physical manifestation of things done & things still waiting to be done, their list seemingly ever-growing much like own impatience at this point.

ah, what he wouldn't do for a smoke right now. still, not wishing to keep grandmother waiting, the young serial killer steps back into the cold rain & its pelleting bullets, yanking the spade out with one quick pull before returning to the path leading home, the dark house illuminated by flashes of thunder.

by the time joah wakes again, he'll find himself blindfolded & bound by ropes around his wrists & feet, his body on top of what feels like wooden planks. a musty scent of dust pilfering the stagnant air, accompanied by the hushed pitter-patter of rain & a heavy sense of grim reality slowly settling in...

[shiroi---kumo]

Would you rather... || Accepting

@dont-call-me-a-lyre asked:

would you rather be forced to give up your crown or forced to give up your sielun värit?

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ The question strikes him like a blow to the chest. To give up his crown or instead his ... his - his hand is resting gently on his throat at the thought. To give up his crown is to abandon his oath to his people. His Oath to serve them and that his life - his soul belongs to them. That his live is meant to live only in service to them and none other. His crown is - his crown is the symbol of that Oath. He - he belongs to Misterica and all who hail from her. He made an Oath to them.

He pledged his life to them. He lives in their service. If he gives up his crown then ...

His hand never leaves his throat as he thinks about the idea of his sielun värit no longer being there. It is his essence. It is the colors of what makes him manifested in a way for all to see. It marks him yes. It marks in the Celestial Mother's colors so that all may see just exactly what and who he is. The Child of White - Lady Tiamat's holy son of the colors of all. He is her vessel and his sielun värit tells the world, neigh, the universe exactly that. It is sacred and to remove it is... a Misterican did not simply remove it unless ritual dictates...

It has been around his neck since he was just a child and it was the one thing His Excellency had allowed of him to keep of his culture. His crown was another story and he kept it safely hidden from sight beneath a curtain of white.

"How could you expect me to be able to choose between my Oath and the essence of my soul? That's what you're asking. To choose between my people and my place in society. Between my vow to serve and the shine of who I am. That is the truth of what you're asking."

"So I choose my people. I will always choose my people. I am nothing without them. Even as things are now. My life and my soul still belong to them even in their passing. So in turn that means I choose my crown. It is not a marker of power or my position over another being as it is to that of the humans or other planes of space. It is an Oath I swore to serve them to my dying breath. So I suppose that I would - I would part with my sielun värit even if it would pain me to do so. The Universe only need that I serve them properly - they need not know who I am."

[nancychaurasia2k]

 Chapter 8 Akshara Brahma Yoga

Chapter 8 of the Bhagavad Gita, known as "Akshara Brahma Yoga" or "The Eternal God," deals with several important issues, such as the nature of an eternal soul, practicing yoga, the death-and-time concept, and the fullness of emancipation. In doing so, we propose to explore the key concepts and their implications and draw an all-inclusive conclusion.

Key Concepts in Chapter 8

Eternal Soul and Material Existence

Lord Krishna starts by explaining what Atman, or the eternal soul, is versus this temporary physical body. He stresses that while human bodies are mortal and, therefore, will eventually die, souls are not affected by this. This differentiation forms the basis for understanding life and death in spiritual terms.

Verse 1-4: Inquiry from Arjuna

Arjuna, an eager learner, asks Krishna questions about different terms such as Brahman (the Absolute), Adhyatma (individual soul), Karma (actions), Adhibhuta (physical manifestation), Adhidaiva (divine manifestation), and Adhiyajna (the supreme sacrifice).

Krishna clarifies these terms:

Brahman: The ultimate, untouchable being.

Adhyatma: The soul is everlasting, inherent in all beings.

Karma: Deeds that result in the formation of physical bodies.

Adhibhuta: The world of things.

Adhidaiva: The principle of cosmic divinity.

Adhiyajna: The Almighty Exists within the flesh as the Lord of Sacrifice.

The Moment of Death

The chapter addresses, to a large extent, the importance of the frame of mind at death. Krishna says that how one thinks about one's death will determine what kind of person one becomes in the next life. Thus, it is necessary to keep God in mind when dying.

Verses 5-8: The Significance of the Last Thought

Krishna stresses that if one wants to reach Him, then one must concentrate on Him during death. One can remain to remember Him even at the last breath by consistently and devotedly practicing yoga.

Verse 7:

"O Arjuna, therefore, you should always think of Me in this way, and you should also execute your prescribed duty as a soldier. With your mind fixed on Me and acting under My direction, without any doubt, you will come to Me alone."

Paths of Light and Darkness

Krishna first introduces the idea of two paths after death: one of light (Shukla Gati) and the other of darkness (Krishna Gati); these routes determine whether a soul can attain liberation or be born again into this world.

Verses 24-26: The Two Paths

Path of Light: Souls who follow this path attain liberation and do not return to the cycle of rebirth.

Path of Darkness: Souls who follow this path return to the cycle of birth and death.

The Practice of Devotion and Yoga

Krishna stresses the significance of unwavering allegiance and yoga practice as a way to be free. In his explanation, he elaborates on several techniques, including breath control, sense restraint, recollection, and focus on divinity.

Verses 9-14: The Yoga of Devotion

Krishna describes the process of practicing yoga with unwavering focus and devotion:

Verse 10:

"At death time, mind is not perturbated with attachment; devotionally fixed by steadfast yoga practice between eyebrows he reaches divine Supreme God being."

Verse 14:

O Arjuna: "Who always remembers me in this way without deviation, O Arjuna? He is easy to reach; therefore, I am easily available for him."

Supreme Goal

Krishna states that the ultimate goal is to return to the supreme abode. This latter is eternal and beyond birth and death. It is a place of no suffering but bliss.

Verses 15-22:

 The Supreme Abode

Krishna explains the nature of His supreme abode and how it is beyond the material world:

Verse 15:

"Great souls, after having achieved me, never come back to this temporary miserable world for their own highest perfection."

Verse 22:

"The Supreme Personality of Godhead, who transcends everything, can be reached by pure devotional service. Although present in His Divine abode, He exists everywhere, and everything rests in Him."

Understanding the Eternal Soul

This chapter's distinction between the immortal soul and the mortal body is one of its main lessons. This recognition of the soul's indestructibility extends beyond physical death and forms a basis for understanding existence and spiritual practices.

The Significance of the Last Thought

Krishna's primary emphasis on the state of mind at the time of death exemplifies how powerful consciousness determines where the soul goes. By nurturing constant remembrance of God and unvarying devotion, one can secure salvation so that they do not need to keep coming back to earth again and again through reincarnation.

Paths of Light and Darkness

When light and darkness are brought in, a way to look at life after death is presented. Awareness of these paths encourages people to live piously and faithfully, striving towards liberation by following the path illuminated by light, which leads to emancipation forever.

The Practice of Yoga and Devotion

Krishna's instructions on yoga practice and devotion highlight the importance of practicing religion with self-control. Control over breathing, control over senses, and focusing intellect upon God are necessary skills to achieve the supreme goal.

Supreme Goal

In Chapter 8 of the Bhagavad Gita, there is a deep exploration of the eternal soul, highlighting the importance of death and how devotion and yoga can result in ultimate freedom. By incorporating these principles into our daily lives, we can reach the objective of surpassing temporary material existence and attaining everlasting joy and freedom. This chapter provides both profound philosophical wisdom and advice for living a spiritually fulfilling life.

Practical Implications

The relevance of this chapter in contemporary life must be addressed. In today's world, which is marked by uncertainties and material distractions, concentrating on the immortal soul and devotion can help one attain inner peace and fulfillment. This idea of seeing God while performing their regular duties offers a practical approach to spirituality that fits well with modern living.

Relevance in Contemporary Life

Chapter 8 has everyday implications for its readers. By incorporating these principles, individuals can develop a mindset that is detached from material concerns and instead focuses on spiritual growth through devotion. Therefore, this shift in perspective helps people live more peacefully, meaningfully aligned with the soul's timeless essence.

Conclusion

To summarize, Krishna repeats his core message: The supreme abode is reached through unflinching dedication and constant spiritual practices, culminating in eternal bliss devoid of suffering from the material world.

[safesthaveninexistence]

I am so extremely beautiful. Everyone go to me for solutions. I’m the change bringer. All that isn’t aligned with me or isn’t meant for me naturally doesn’t come to me. Nonpaid opportunities aren’t meant for me. I naturally speak my truth. I see I’m so energetically powerful(chills). I fearlessly hurt other people’s feelings for me. I never have to persist for it’s already done for me. I naturally shift to the reality where it’s already done for me. I energetically feel secured in my own reality. I tangibly utilize the power of eye contact. Everytime i trust it works. I never egg myself on. They never egg me on. Nothing changes the fact I’m indisputably the most powerful one. No matter what I see I’m indisputably the most powerful one. Nothing and no one can give me anxiety. I never make mistakes so I trust the process. I naturally use all the same spells Taylor swift uses for her fame and success. I step on the neck of absolutely all practitioners. I step on the neck of absolutely all path clear road openers. Everything instantly falls into my lap. I only get infinitely times more undefeated. What i want is infinitely more powerful and important than everything and everyone else. What puts me at ease reflects in reality. Yeah they wonder how I’m doing(chills). No one wishes on my downfall. Emily Michelle viera is AGONIZINGLY dying without me. I can never go wrong in putting my energy in whatever i desire to manifest. My manifestations are already done and i naturally shift to the realities where it’s done(chills). The energetic validation of my delusions stay infinitely glowing up. I’m inherently the same energetic match to the Zillionaire Superstar version of me. I’m the same energetic match to the realities of absolutely all of my desires. I’m the same energetic match to absolutely all of my desired reality. They agonizingly crave to have sex with me. They stay up at night agonizingly and achingly craving sex with me. They crave to get real physically intimate with me. They want to have sex with me so bad DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN. They crave to have sex with me for the rest of their life. I can say absolutely anything and it’s instantly rigged into my favor. I can do absolutely anything and it’s instantly rigged into my favor. They agonizingly miss sex with me. They can’t live life without sex with me. They can’t even breathe without having sex with me. Sex flashbacks with me in their head on an antonellamania number. It’s inherently futile of me to worry about Taylor Swift. All of my exes are missing me. All of my exes want to kiss me. All of my exes stay hitting my phone up. All of my exes want to marry me. All of my exes stay up at night thinking about me. All of my exes agonizingly need me. All of my exes agonizingly crave sex with me. All of my exes miss the connection with me. All of my exes crave to kiss me again. All of my exes miss this pussy. All of my exes can’t move on from me. All of my exes physically cannot like anybody that isn’t me. All of my exes stay stalking me. All of my exes stay hearing about me. All of my exes stay obsessing over me. All of my exes stay real possessive over me. All of my exes stay real depressed over me. All of my exes knows I’m the only powerful one. All of my exes knows I’m the one on the pedestal. All of my exes knows i did absolutely no wrong. All of my exes know I’m so unbelievably perfect. All of my exes knows I’m undeniably God. All of my exes thinks I’m undeniably God. All of my exes sees I’m God. All of my exes worships me. All of my exes direly regret fumbling me. All of my exes keeps thinking about me 100/100. All of my exes are energetically controlled by me. All of my exes are energetically under my power. All of my exes cannot breathe without me. All of my exes cannot live without me. All of my exes cannot function without me. All of my exes need me. All of my exes reminisces on all the good times we had together. All of my exes know I’m staggeringly irreplaceable. All of my exes know I’m staggeringly unignorable. All of my exes know I’m staggeringly validated.

[jimunderscore]

In the end of the show

I guess we'll know

where pieces where placed

and the faces we misshaped

maybe then we'll see what's right

under the basking moon night

I do not know

I cannot say

when will the end of the story play

really hard to tell

I hope it's not soon to say farewell

I wish to see your light with a fearless sight

and I will not lay my arms for you

even if it won't work out

I know there's no way else to shout

I wish I could be your friend

to the very end but in truth

I am lost

I am wrong

and forbidden to sing this song

but I will

I'm not afraid

shame is only a cascade to remember

it will go on

it will move forward

but my mind is on rewind to the dream

of us in a room, architecturing

I will not let it rest, til my dying breath

I will fight for a dream, impossible thing

I need it you see, it won't fix me

but it's a guiding beacon for this lost ship

I need to sail to your shore from mine

I know that life's unkind

but I won't really mind living in hell

if you're there, and we are fine. I'd love to be aligned.

In harmonic kinship, like sisters on a liner.

I don't know why, I feel inclined to want this

and you won't even want to spark this.

in a breaking I'll choke and make myself

reality made mine, and we'd all just be free

everything we never had will be made true

and I give my hope to you

it will work if I give a push and you a shove

maybe it will take a while but the pain will make it rough

but in the end the marble sparks and sanctity is a dead man's remarks

we will ride over the tide if you take hope and yours mine.

There's nothing left to say, but of anything on your mind.

We gotta take a stance today

or tommorow it could be the end of the line

I am just afraid of losing you in a sense

and maybe one day a fluke hits me in the head

and all my dread manifests in death

and I never have seen your face

what a false little chase

my existence, just erased.

so please let's run away from it all

be unshackled from this wall

hold my hand,

and we'll be free!

[renaissanceclassics]

The Pilgrim's Progress: Part 21

Listen to: Book 2, 7th stage, at Renaissance Classics Podcast.

Now I saw that they went to the ascent that was a little way off, cast up to be a prospect for pilgrims (that was the place from whence CHRISTIAN had the first sight of FAITHFUL, his brother). Wherefore here they sat down, and rested; they also here did eat and drink and make merry, for that they had gotten deliverance from this so dangerous an enemy. As they sat thus and did eat, CHRISTIANA asked the guide, "If he had caught no hurt in the battle?" Then said Mr. GREAT-HEART, "No, save a little on my flesh; yet that also shall be so far from being to my determent, that it is, at present, a proof of my love to my Master and you, and shall be a means, by grace, to increase my reward at last."

"But were you not afraid, good sir, when you saw him come out with his club?"

"It is my duty," said he, "to distrust mine own ability, that I may have reliance on him that is stronger than all."

"But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus' sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh. So then death worketh in us, but life in you. We having the same spirit of faith, according as it is written, I believed, and therefore have I spoken; we also believe, and therefore speak; Knowing that he which raised up the Lord Jesus shall raise up us also by Jesus, and shall present us with you. For all things are for your sakes, that the abundant grace might through the thanksgiving of many redound to the glory of God." ~ 2 Corinthians 4:7-15 ~

"But what did you think when he fetched you down to the ground at the first blow?" "Why, I thought," quoth he, "that so my Master himself was served; and yet he it was that conquered at the last." Matt. When you all have thought what you please, I think God has been wonderful good unto us, both in bringing us out of this valley, and in delivering us out of the hand of this enemy; for my part I see no reason why we should distrust our God any more, since he has now, and in such a place as this, given us such testimony of his love as this. Honest They then got up and went forward. Now a little before them stood an oak; and under it, when they came to it, they found an old pilgrim, fast asleep; they knew that he was a pilgrim by his clothes, and his staff, and his girdle. So the guide, Mr. GREAT-HEART, awakened him; and the old gentleman as he lift up his eyes, cried out, "What's the matter? who are you? and what is your business here?" Great-heart. "Come, man, be not so hot; here are none but friends." Yet the old man gets up and stands upon his guard, and will know of them what they were. Then said the guide, "My name is GREAT-HEART; I am the guide of these pilgrims, which are going to the celestial country." Honest. Then said Mr. HONEST, "I cry you mercy; I feared that you had been of the company of those that some time ago did rob LITTLE-FAITH of his money; but now I look better about me, I perceive you are honester people." Great-heart. Why, what would or could you have done, to have helped yourself, if we indeed had been of that company? Honest. Done! why I would have fought as long as breath had been in me; and had I so done, I am sure you could never have given me the worst on't; for a Christian can never be overcome, unless he shall yield of himself. Great-heart. "Well said, father HONEST," quoth the guide; "for by this I know thou art a cock of the right kind, for thou hast said the truth." Honest. And by this also I know that thou knowest what true pilgrimage is; for all others do think that we are the soonest overcome of any. Great-heart. Well, now we are so happily met, pray let me crave your name and the name of the place you came from? Honest. My name I cannot; but I came from the town of Stupidity: it lies about four degrees beyond the city of Destruction. Great-heart. Oh, are you that countryman, then? I deem I have half a guess of you; your name is OLD HONESTY, is it not? Honest. So the old gentleman blushed, and said, "Not Honesty in the abstract, but HONEST is my name; and I wish that my nature shall agree to what I am called. But, sir," said the old gentleman, "how could you guess that I am such a man, since I came from such a place?" Great-heart. I had heard of you before by my Master; for he knows all things that are done on the earth. But I have often wondered that any should come from your place; for your town is worse than is the City of Destruction itself. Honest. Yes, we lie more off from the sun, and so are more cold and senseless; but were a man in a mountain of ice, yet if the Sun of Righteousness will arise upon him, his frozen heart shall feel a thaw; and thus it hath been with me. Great-heart. I believe it, father HONEST, I believe it; for I know the thing is true. Then the old gentleman saluted all the pilgrims with a holy kiss of charity, and asked them of their names, and how they had fared since they set out on their pilgrimage. Christiana: Then said CHRISTIANA, "My name I suppose you have heard of; good CHRISTIAN was my husband, and these four were his children." But can you think how the old gentleman was taken when she told him who she was! He skipped; he smiled; and blessed them with a thousand good wishes, saying: Honest. "I have heard much of your husband, and of his travels and wars which he underwent in his days. Be it spoken to your comfort, the name of your husband rings all over these parts of the world: his faith, his courage, his enduring, and his sincerity under all, has made his name famous." Then he turned to the boys, and asked them of their names; which they told him: and then he said unto them, "MATTHEW, be thou like Matthew the publican--not in vice, but in virtue. SAMUEL," said he, "be thou like Samuel the prophet, a man of faith and prayer. JOSEPH," said he, "be thou like Joseph in Potiphar's house, chaste, and one that flies from temptation. And JAMES, be thou like James the Just, and like James the brother of our Lord."

"Philip, and Bartholomew; Thomas, and Matthew the publican; James the son of Alphaeus, and Lebbaeus, whose surname was Thaddaeus;" ~ Matthew 10:3 ~ "Moses and Aaron among his priests, and Samuel among them that call upon his name; they called upon the LORD, and he answered them." ~ Psalms 99:6 ~ "And Joseph was brought down to Egypt; and Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh, captain of the guard, an Egyptian, bought him of the hands of the Ishmeelites, which had brought him down thither. And the LORD was with Joseph, and he was a prosperous man; and he was in the house of his master the Egyptian. And his master saw that the LORD was with him, and that the LORD made all that he did to prosper in his hand. And Joseph found grace in his sight, and he served him: and he made him overseer over his house, and all that he had he put into his hand. And it came to pass from the time that he had made him overseer in his house, and over all that he had, that the LORD blessed the Egyptian's house for Joseph's sake; and the blessing of the LORD was upon all that he had in the house, and in the field. And he left all that he had in Joseph's hand; and he knew not ought he had, save the bread which he did eat. And Joseph was a goodly person, and well favoured. And it came to pass after these things, that his master's wife cast her eyes upon Joseph; and she said, Lie with me. But he refused, and said unto his master's wife, Behold, my master wotteth not what is with me in the house, and he hath committed all that he hath to my hand; There is none greater in this house than I; neither hath he kept back any thing from me but thee, because thou art his wife: how then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God? And it came to pass, as she spake to Joseph day by day, that he hearkened not unto her, to lie by her, or to be with her. And it came to pass about this time, that Joseph went into the house to do his business; and there was none of the men of the house there within. And she caught him by his garment, saying, Lie with me: and he left his garment in her hand, and fled, and got him out. And it came to pass, when she saw that he had left his garment in her hand, and was fled forth, That she called unto the men of her house, and spake unto them, saying, See, he hath brought in an Hebrew unto us to mock us; he came in unto me to lie with me, and I cried with a loud voice: And it came to pass, when he heard that I lifted up my voice and cried, that he left his garment with me, and fled, and got him out. And she laid up his garment by her, until his lord came home. And she spake unto him according to these words, saying, The Hebrew servant, which thou hast brought unto us, came in unto me to mock me: And it came to pass, as I lifted up my voice and cried, that he left his garment with me, and fled out." ~ Genesis 39:1-18 ~

Then they told him of MERCY; and how she had left her town and her kindred, to come along with CHRISTIANA and with her sons. At that the old honest man said, "MERCY is thy name? by mercy shalt thou be sustained, and carried through all those difficulties that shall assault thee in thy way; till thou shall come thither, where thou shalt look the fountain of mercy in the face with comfort." All this while the guide, Mr. GREAT-HEART, was very much pleased, and smiled upon his companion. The Story of Mr. Fearing Now as they walked along together, the guide asked the old gentleman, if he did not know one Mr. FEARING that came on pilgrimage out of his parts. Honest. "Yes, very well," said he; "he was a man that had the root of the matter in him, but he was one of the most troublesome pilgrims that I ever met with in all my days." Great-heart. I perceive you knew him; for you have given a very right character of him. Honest. Knew him! I was a great companion of his, I was with him when he first began to think of what would come upon us hereafter. Great-heart. I was his guide from my master's house to the gates of the Celestial City. Honest. Then you knew him to be a troublesome one. Great-heart. I did so; but I could very well bear it: for men of my calling are oftentimes entrusted with the conduct of such as he was. Honest. Well then, pray let us hear a little of him, and how he managed himself under your conduct. Great-heart. "Why, he was always afraid that he should come short of whither he had a desire to go. Everything frightened him that he heard anybody speak of, that had but the least appearance of opposition in it. I hear that he lay roaring at the Slough of Despond for above a month together; nor durst he, for all he saw several go over before him, venture, though they, many of them, offered to lend him their hand. He would not go back again neither. The Celestial City, he said, he should die if he came not to it; and yet was dejected at every difficulty, and stumbled at every straw that anybody cast in his way. Well, after he had lain at the Slough of Despond a great while, as I have told you, one sunshiny morning, I do not know how, he ventured, and so got over. But when he was over, he would scarce believe it. He had, I think, a Slough of Despond in his mind, a slough that he carried everywhere with him; or else he could never have been as he was. So he came up to the gate--you know what I mean--that stands at the head of this way; and there also he stood a good while before he would adventure to knock. When the gate was opened, he would give back; and give place to others, and say that he was not worthy. For, for all he got before some to the gate, yet many of them went in before him. There the poor man would stand shaking and shrinking; I dare say it would have pitied one's heart to have seen him; nor would he go back again. At last he took the hammer that hanged on the gate in his hand, and gave a small rap or two; then one opened to him, but he shrunk back as before. He that opened stept out after him, and said, "Thou trembling one, what wantest thou?" With that he fell down to the ground. He that spoke to him wondered to see him so faint. So he said to him, 'Peace be to thee; up, for I have set open the door to thee; come in, for thou art blest.' With that he got up, and went in trembling; and when he was in, he was ashamed to show his face. "Well, after he had been entertained there awhile, as you know how the manner is, he was bid go on his way, and also told the way he should take. So he came till he came to our house; but as he behaved himself at the gate, so he did at my master the INTERPRETER'S door. He lay thereabout in the cold a good while before he would adventure to call; yet he would not go back. And the nights were long and cold then. Nay, he had a note of necessity in his bosom to my Master, to receive him, and grant him the comfort of his house; and also to allow him a stout and valiant conductor, because he was himself so chicken hearted a man; and yet for all that he was afraid to call at the door. So he lay up and down thereabouts till, poor man, he was almost starved; yea, so great was his dejection, that though he saw several others for knocking get in, yet he was afraid to venture. "At last, I think I looked out of the window; and perceiving a man to be up and down about the door, I went out to him, and asked what he was; but, poor man, the water stood in his eyes. So I perceived what he wanted. I went therefore in, and told it in the house; and we showed the thing to our Lord. So he sent me out again to entreat him to come in; but I dare say I had hard work to do it. At last he came in; and I will say that for my Lord, he carried it wonderful lovingly to him. There were but a few good bits at the table; but some of it was laid upon his trencher. Then he presented the note; and my Lord looked thereon, and said his desire should be granted. So when he had been there a good while, he seemed to get some heart, and to be a little more comfortable; for my Master, you must know, is one of very tender bowels, especially to them that are afraid: wherefore he carried it so towards him, as might tend most to his encouragement. Well, when he had had a sight of the things of the place, and was ready to take his journey to go to the city, my Lord, as he did to CHRISTIAN before, gave him a bottle of spirits, and some comfortable things to eat. Thus we set forward, and I went before him; but the man was but of few words, only he would sigh aloud.

"When we were come to where the three fellows were hanged, he said that he doubted that that would be his end also. Only he seemed glad when he saw the cross and the sepulchre. There I confess he desired to stay a little to look; and he seemed for awhile after to be a little cheery. When we came at the Hill Difficulty, he made no stick at that, nor did he much fear the lions; for you must know that his trouble was not about such things as those, his fear was about his acceptance at last. "I got him in at the house Beautiful I think before he was willing; also when he was in, I brought him acquainted with the damsels that were of the place; but he was ashamed to make himself much for company. He desired much to be alone; yet he always loved good talk, and often would get behind the screen to hear it. He also loved much to see ancient things, and to be pondering them in his mind. He told me afterwards that he loved to be in those two houses from which he came last; to wit, at the Gate, and that of the INTERPPRETER'S, but that he durst not be so bold as to ask. When we went also from the house Beautiful down the hill, into the Valley of Humiliation, he went down as well as ever I saw a man in my life; for he cared not how mean he was, so he might be happy at last. Yea, I think there was a kind of a sympathy betwixt that valley and him; for I never saw him better in all his pilgrimage than when he was in that valley. Here he would lie down, embrace the ground, and kiss the very flowers that grew in this valley.

"It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. He sitteth alone and keepeth silence, because he hath borne it upon him. He putteth his mouth in the dust; if so be there may be hope." ~ Lamentations 3:27-29 ~

He would now be up every morning by break of day, tracing, and walking to and fro in this valley. But when he was come to the entrance of the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I thought I should have lost my man; not for that he had any inclination to go back--that he always abhorred,--but he was ready to die for fear. 'Oh, the hobgoblins will have me, the hobgoblins will have me!' cried he; and I could not beat him out on't. He made such a noise and such an outcry here, that, had they but heard him, 't was enough to encourage them to come and fall upon us. "But this I took very great notice of: that this valley was as quiet while he went through it, as ever I knew it before or since. I suppose those enemies here had now a special check from our Lord; and a command not to meddle until Mr. FEARING was passed over it. "It would be too tedious to tell you of all, we will therefore only mention a passage or two more. When he was come at Vanity Fair, I thought he would have fought with all the men in the fair; I feared there we should both have been knocked o' the head, so hot was he against their fooleries. Upon the enchanted ground he was also very wakeful. But when he was come at the river where was no bridge, there again he was in a heavy case; now, now, he said, he should be drowned for ever, and so never see that face with comfort that he had come so many miles to behold. "And here also I took notice of what was very remarkable: the water of that river was lower at this time than ever I saw it in all my life; so he went over at last not much above wetshod. When he was going up to the gate, Mr. GREAT-HEART began to take his leave of him, and to wish him a good reception above; so he said, 'I shall, I shall.' Then parted we asunder, and I saw him no more." Honest. Then it seems he was well at last. Great-heart. Yes, yes; I never had a doubt about him. He was a man of a choice spirit, only he was always kept very low; and that made his life so burdensome to himself, and so troublesome to others.

"O LORD God of my salvation, I have cried day and night before thee: Let my prayer come before thee: incline thine ear unto my cry; For my soul is full of troubles: and my life draweth nigh unto the grave. I am counted with them that go down into the pit: I am as a man that hath no strength: Free among the dead, like the slain that lie in the grave, whom thou rememberest no more: and they are cut off from thy hand. Thou hast laid me in the lowest pit, in darkness, in the deeps. Thy wrath lieth hard upon me, and thou hast afflicted me with all thy waves. Selah. Thou hast put away mine acquaintance far from me; thou hast made me an abomination unto them: I am shut up, and I cannot come forth. Mine eye mourneth by reason of affliction: LORD, I have called daily upon thee, I have stretched out my hands unto thee. Wilt thou shew wonders to the dead? shall the dead arise and praise thee? Selah. Shall thy lovingkindness be declared in the grave? or thy faithfulness in destruction? Shall thy wonders be known in the dark? and thy righteousness in the land of forgetfulness? But unto thee have I cried, O LORD; and in the morning shall my prayer prevent thee. LORD, why castest thou off my soul? why hidest thou thy face from me? I am afflicted and ready to die from my youth up: while I suffer thy terrors I am distracted. Thy fierce wrath goeth over me; thy terrors have cut me off. They came round about me daily like water; they compassed me about together. Lover and friend hast thou put far from me, and mine acquaintance into darkness." ~ Psalms 88:1-18 ~

He was, above many, tender of sin; he was so afraid of doing injuries to others, that he often would deny himself of that which was lawful because he would not offend.

"It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak." ~ Romans 14:21 ~ "Wherefore, if meat make my brother to offend, I will eat no flesh while the world standeth, lest I make my brother to offend." ~ 1 Corinthians 8:13 ~

Honest. But what should be the reason that such a good man should be all his days so much in the dark? Great-heart. There are two sorts of reasons for it: one is, the wise God will have it so; some must pipe, and some must weep:

"But whereunto shall I liken this generation? It is like unto children sitting in the markets, and calling unto their fellows, And saying, We have piped unto you, and ye have not danced; we have mourned unto you, and ye have not lamented. For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, He hath a devil." ~ Matthew 11:16-18 ~

now Mr. FEARING was one that played upon the bass. He and his fellows sound the sackbut, whose notes are more doleful than the notes of other music are. Though, indeed, some say, the bass is the ground of music. And for my part, I care not at all for that profession that begins not in heaviness of mind. The first string that the musician usually touches is the bass, when he intends to put all in tune; God also plays upon this string first when he sets the soul in tune for himself. Only here was the imperfection of Mr. FEARING: he could play upon no other music but this till towards his latter end. I make bold to talk thus metaphorically for the ripening of the wits of young readers; and because, in the book of the Revelation, the saved are compared to a company of musicians that play upon their trumpets and harps, and sing their songs before the throne.

"And I saw the seven angels which stood before God; and to them were given seven trumpets." ~ Revelation 8:2 ~ "And I heard a voice from heaven, as the voice of many waters, and as the voice of a great thunder: and I heard the voice of harpers harping with their harps: And they sung as it were a new song before the throne, and before the four beasts, and the elders: and no man could learn that song but the hundred and forty and four thousand, which were redeemed from the earth." ~ Revelation 14:2, 3 ~

Honest. He was a very zealous man, as one may see by what relation you have given of him. Difficulties, lions, or Vanity Fair, he feared not at all; 't was only sin, death, and hell that were to him a terror, because he had some doubts about his interest in that celestial country. Great-heart. You say right: those were the things that were his troublers, and they, as you have well observed, arose from the weakness of his mind thereabout; not from weakness of spirit as to the practical part of a pilgrim's life. I dare believe, that, as the proverb is, he could have bit a firebrand, had it stood in his way; but the things with which he was oppressed, no man ever yet could shake off with ease. Christiana: Then said CHRISTIANA, "This relation of Mr. FEARING has done me good. I thought nobody had been like me; but I see there was some semblance 'twixt this good man and I, only we differed in two things: his troubles were so great they brake out; but mine I kept within. His also lay so hard upon him, they made him that he could not knock at the houses provided for entertainment; but my trouble was always such as made me knock the louder." Mercy. If I might also speak my heart, I must say, that something of him has also dwelt in me. For I have ever been more afraid of the lake and the loss of a place in paradise, than I have been of the loss of other things. Oh, thought I, may I have the happiness to have a habitation there, 't is enough, though I part with all the world to win it! Matt. Then said MATTHEW, "Fear was one thing that made me think that I was far from having that within me that accompanies salvation; but if it was so with such a good man as he, why may it not also go well with me?" James. "No fears, no grace," said JAMES. "Though there is not always grace where there is the fear of hell, yet to be sure, there is no grace where there is no fear of God." Great-heart. Well said, JAMES, thou hast hit the mark: for the "fear of God is the beginning of wisdom"; and, to be sure, they that want the beginning have neither middle nor end. But we will here conclude our discourse of Mr. FEARING after we have sent after him this farewell: "Well, Master FEARING, thou didst fear Thy God; and wast afraid Of doing anything, while here, That would have thee betrayed. And thou didst fear the Lake and Pit-- Would others did so too! For, as for them that want thy wit, They do themselves undo." A False Pilgrim With False Conclusions Now I saw that they still went on in their talk; for after Mr. GREAT-HEART had made an end with Mr. FEARING, Mr. HONEST began to tell them of another, but his name was Mr. SELF-WILL. "He pretended himself to be a pilgrim," said Mr. Honest; "but I persuade myself he never came in at the gate that stands at the head of the way." Great-heart. Had you ever any talk with him about it? Honest. Yes, more than once or twice; but he would always be like himself, self-willed. He neither cared for man, nor argument, nor yet example; what his mind prompted him to, that he could do, and nothing else could he be got to. Great-heart. Pray, what principles did he hold--for I suppose you can tell? Honest. He held that a man might follow the vices as well as the virtues of the pilgrims; and that if he did both, he should be certainly saved. Great-heart. How? If he had said, 't is possible for the best to be guilty of the vices as well as to partake of the virtues of pilgrims, he could not much have been blamed; for, indeed, we are exempted from no vice absolutely, but on condition that we watch and strive. But this I perceive is not the thing. But, if I understand you right, your meaning is that he was of that opinion that it was allowable so to be. Honest.Aye,aye, so I mean; and so he believed and practised. Great-heart. But what ground had he for his so saying? Honest. Why, he said he had the Scripture for his warrant. Great-heart. Prithee, Mr. HONEST, present us with a few particulars. Honest. So I will. He said--to have to do with other men's wives had been practised by David, God's beloved; and therefore he could do it. He said--to have more women than one was a thing that Solomon practised; and therefore he could do it. He said--that Sarah and the godly midwives of Egypt lied, and so did saved Rahab; and therefore he could do it. He said--that the disciples went at the bidding of their Master, and took away the owner's ass; and therefore he could do so too. He said--that Jacob got the inheritance of his father in a way of guile and dissimulation; and therefore he could do so too. Great-heart. High bass, indeed! and you are sure he was of this opinion? Honest. I have heard him plead for it; bring Scripture for it; bring argument for it, etc. Great-heart. An opinion that is not fit to be, with any allowance, in the world. Honest. You must understand me rightly. He did not say that any man might do this; but, that those that had the virtues of those that did such things, might also do the same. Great-heart. But what more false than such a conclusion? For this is as much as to say, that because good men heretofore have sinned of infirmity, therefore he had allowance to do it of a presumptuous mind. Or if because a child, by the blast of the wind, or for that it stumbled at a stone, fell down and defiled itself in mire--therefore he might wilfully lie down and wallow like a boar therein. Who could have thought that anyone could so far have been blinded by the power of lust? But what is written must be true: "They stumble at the Word, being disobedient; whereunto also they were appointed".

"And a stone of stumbling, and a rock of offence, even to them which stumble at the word, being disobedient: whereunto also they were appointed." ~ 1 Peter 2:8 ~

His supposing that such may have the godly man's virtues who addict themselves to their vices, is also a delusion as strong as the other. 'T is just as if the dog should say, "I have, or may have, the qualities of the child; because I lick up its stinking excrements." To eat up the sin of God's people is no sign of one that is possessed with their virtues.

"They eat up the sin of my people, and they set their heart on their iniquity." ~ Hosea 4:8 ~

Nor can I believe that one that is of this opinion can at present have faith or love in him. But I know you have made strong objections against him; prithee, what can he say for himself? Honest. Why, he says, "To do this by way of opinion, seems abundance more honest than to do it, and yet hold contrary to it in opinion." Great-heart. A very wicked answer; for though to let loose the bridle to lusts while our opinions are against such things is bad: yet to sin, and plead a toleration so to do, is worse. The one stumbles beholders accidentally; the other leads them into the snare. Honest. There are many of this man's mind that have not this man's mouth; and that makes going on pilgrimage of so little esteem as it is. Great-heart. You have said the truth; and it is to be lamented. But he that fears the King of Paradise shall come out of them all. Christiana: There are strange opinions in the world; I know one that said, 't was time enough to repent when they come to die. Great-heart. Such are not over wise. That man would have been loath, might he have had a week to run twenty miles in for his life, to have deferred that journey to the last hour of that week. Honest. You say right; and yet the generality of them that count themselves pilgrims, do indeed do thus. I am, as you see, an old man, and have been a traveller in this road many a day; and I have taken notice of many things. I have seen some that have set out as if they would drive all the world afore them; who yet have, in a few days, died as they in the wilderness, and so never got sight of the promised land. I have seen some that have promised nothing at first setting out to be pilgrims, and that one would have thought could not have lived a day, that have yet proved very good pilgrims. I have seen some that have run hastily forward, that again have, after a little time, run just as fast back again. I have seen some who have spoken very well of a pilgrim's life at first, that, after awhile, have spoken as much against it. I have heard some, when they first set out for paradise, say positively there is such a place; who, when they have been almost there, have come back again, and said there is none. I have heard some vaunt what they would do in case they should be opposed, that have, even at a false alarm, fled faith, the pilgrim's way, and all.

[thewordweaver]

sometimes I wonder

did I do this to myself?

am I the one who poisoned

my only body, this prison

a wound that festers, and

waits for decay—

was it my prayer

to die, to rest, to see

all my beloveds who left

too soon for my soul

to fathom the loss

the yearning

the horror

or was it just

a betrayal

of the flesh, genetically

always destined to

travel down

dark roads, no hope

to step free of this

destruction

the vessel is broken,

the light dimming slow

like a summer sun

setting, sinking

somewhere down low

but did I do this to myself

with wishing, with

wanting

to go, wherever they were

going, and gone before

my heart had the chance

to learn goodbye—

a manifestation of sorrow

a determination crafted for

all the wrong reasons—

but I do not want to die, and

maybe this fear is temporary,

but this is life, a mundane

distraction, and someday

even the gods

close their tired eyes,

and life, which we all

loved so dearly, becomes

a mythos, a dead or dying

religion, a story

someone won’t remember

and as I lie awake at night

and listen to your breathing,

I ask the dark

once more

did I do this to myself?

and the silence that

follows, is the most

devastating answer