#i will love him for an eternity i fear
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Alex being ridiculously cute at Outside Lands Festival - August 13, 2011 [x]
#*screeches like a pterodactyl*#look at my sweet lil cinnamon roll!!! 😩✨#the lil dance when he’s mimicking someone in the crowd killed me#even though he’s tryna be tough with his leather jacket and motorcycle boots. all i see is a puppy.#i will love him for an eternity i fear#alex turner#sias era#outside lands festival#arctic monkeys#alex turner gifs#arctic monkeys gifs#my gifs#mine#daddy-long-legssss
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I may have cackled a little bit.
Gotta catch 'em all? Apparently?
#eternal butler#anti reset#bl drama#bl series#asianlgbtqdramas#asian lgbtq dramas#taiwanese bl drama#taiwanese drama#taiwan bl#taiwanese bl series#taiwanese series#i love the idea of him trying to just collect kinks for fear that their relationship would get boring
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#finished manifold garden tonight ouuuuugghghgghh it was so Very good. yes👍YES👍yeahyeahyeahyeah#i luv u exploring endlessly stretching impossible spaces. i luv u mandelbulbs and twisty fractals. i luv u thrumming synthy music#man it was so tasty. end of the game was giving me fearful..cosmic dread? i havent felt since outer wilds. just THROWIN urself off#like. these are colours these are twisting colours. why are u slumping down the couch ever so slightly with a chill down ur arms#fucking wonka boat tunnel dmt trip nightmare of a colour sure. sure yeah. and it was AWESOME awesome ending. TOTAL collapse#fun puzzles. throwin urself and free falling through a level never got old. loved snappin the gravity round. nada motion sickness✅️Score✅️#playing manifold garden: this is just like jacob gellers shape of infinity video.......#couldnt stop thinkin abt him describing the airborne funerals given in the library of babel#the body falling eternally never hitting the ground thats CRAZY THAAAAAAAAAAAAATS. i would like to read it. im gonna read it#jacob geller u have not led me astray yet on video game recs. manifold garden! MANIFOLD GARDEN!!!!!!!!!!#great ost yeaaaassirr. just really liked it so i did oohheeeeooo :] :D yeahboshdone#manifold garden#structure tag#chewtoy
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look i figured out how to put this post underwater
my personal opinions and interpretations of a piece of literature are incoming. this is me nitpicking but: by the end of the first ghost scrooge is already ashamed of himself and looking toward change and when the third ghost comes he assumes that theyre looking upon a future in which he has changed so he's terrified and devastated when he sees the reactions to his death because he doesn't know if the scrooge they know in a year's time is one who has changed, or one who has changed enough.
like yes i do think that seeing his own miserable lonely celebrated death is vital to the man he becomes on christmas morning BUT. it's not just that. scrooge's fatal flaw isn't just greed, it's isolation and indifference. seeing that there is tenderness and love in this world not far from him is as important as watching his own kin disregard him as lost and loathsome.
that's why, in my mind, seeing how loved tiny tim is, understanding the love and faith and perseverance of the Cratchits as well as his own hand in continuing their poverty and illness, and being struck with the abject tragedy of tim's (really quite preventable) death changes him as much as the businessmen's jokes about him do.
i think what the point one might make here comes down to the fact that it isnt until scrooge is confronted by the reality of the suffering he is enabling that he understands how badly he needs to make a change. he knew Bob Cratchit is poor, I'm sure, but he was able to ignore that fact until the spirits show him the Cratchits' home and their malnourished children. Healthcare CEOS see that every day, they arent ignorant. healthcare companies actively fight to keep people in poverty and sickness. so maybe they're way more evil than Scrooge, who's to say
#scrooge is soooo compelling honestly. like in Dickens' original work or adaptations that really understand the heart of the source (muppets)#he is undeniably cruel and greedy and cold at the story's beginning.#but he's also ignorant and as the story progresses you get the sense that there's this child in him who is lonely and wants to laugh and#love and grow and connect with other people and always has. and that part of him that he's hidden so long starts to wake up#until it overpowers the coldness and the hatred.#and a christmas carol is not just about fear!!!! fear is a factor but it's not the only thing that drives him to change!!!!!!!#it's love! love for mankind and life is what changes scrooge! he's afraid of dying alone yes. he's afraid of eternal torment yes.#but he wants so badly to love and to have joy and hope when he is reminded of what they really look like#and when he is reminded that he used to be capable of them and STILL IS!!!!!!!!#a christmas carol is so amazing it makes me want to scream and throw things i just really like it a lot.#all of this is my personal opinion etc etc#a Christmas Carol#scrooge isnt just changed by fear bro he's changed by yearning for something better
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me everyday: sephiroth is such a complex nuance interesting character because he was doomed from the start and couldn't have a normal childhood even if someone saved him because it was literally the embodiment and cumulation of capitalistic and there was no hope for him and yet the moments we are spared of him being human show a man who was capable of friendship, of love, of hope, of change and the tragedy is that he severed the ability to change the second he swore off being a human being--fulfilling that doomed birthright
also me: all I want in life is for Aerith and Tifa is repeatedly drive this man into the earth until not even a single dumb black feather remains
#I love Sephiroth he's like my third favorite character in this series#but BOY do I want the girls to beat the shit out of him#I want him to see them on sight and FEAR#I want him to be uncomfortable by the very presence of the woman who picked up his sword and survived#and the woman who for all eternity he could never beat#like yeah yeah Cloud and Sephiroth eternal enemies blah blah blah gay boys with swords but#Sephiroth looking past him and realizing the true threat to him are AERITH and TIFA#and this is not disrespect to Cloud i love Cloud I adore Cloud but also#pushes him gently aside#let your girls out fear into this man's heart it's okay#sephiroth#aerith gainsborough#tifa lockhart
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actually my roman empire is juan borgia's greatest fear being that his family would dislike and abandon him then they ironically ended up doing exactly what he had dreaded the most and it's his family not just hating him but also metaphorically dancing on his grave without even a hint of sentimentality
#the idea of him losing himself in the pressure of the role and the rumors of that he might not be rodrigo's son drove him insane and extreme#like the key concern of his paternity and through that and through the way in which he lets down his family over...#even when he genuinely wanted to protect them but he absolutely did it in a very misguided way#he loved lucrezia and even cesare despite everything and wanted to join their inc&st polycule like that's so compelling to me!!#and just when he wanted a reconciliation with him and opening up to him and pouring his heart out to him#cesare hits him with the very decidedly (and hypocritically) “we're borgias we never forgive” exclusion in his final moment#knowing well that he struggled with the feeling of not being a “true borgia” and cesare knows it and deliberately said it to hurt him extra#then later cesare was begging ''forgiveness'' from rodrigo lmao#juan's character is eternally amusing i fear it's been 11 years now#juan borgia#the borgias#david oakes#text post
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(pointing in the mirror) she lives in constant anxiety because she cannot meaningfully distinguish between love of God and fear of Hell/loss of Heaven!!!! HA!!!!!!
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Computer! Google search: "How to write character going on murder spree after thousands upon thousands of words of build-up without it sounding like a generic Creepypasta from the 2000s with descriptions of finding peace in finally having some semblance of control over their life and whatnot"
#Hgrgggggrhhrgghhh I love writing characters being like this but it's always a big fear#I don't wanna come off like I'm trying to be some edgy kid who's like: “And then he went INSANE MODE!!! and killed EVERYONE!!”#Cause like#No#Please#I want this scene to be *good* and have a nice payoff because it comes after a long...long while of The Guy having the worst time ever#I want it to be unfortunately cathartic#In the sense that it's cathartic that he's doing this but it's also quite. sad and upsetting him seeing like this#Becoming somebody he always feared of being#And then thus being remembered as it for eternity#sp-rambles
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he broke my heart ten billion times and shattered my trust so why do i feel a guilt akin to the sins that jesus christ took on behalf of all of humankind for telling him even a fraction of the pain he's caused me
#why do i love him so much and feel so much loyalty to him when he hurt me#Probably because i have low self esteem and think i deserve it . Oof#i just don't want him to hate me. which i told him. that him hating me has been my biggest fear for so long#and he Did say he will never hate me but Alas. wish i could believe him. unfortunately i will never believe anything he says.#< which i also told him.#Oh this sucks so bad . not to refer to myself as an empath but why do i care more about his feelings than mine? lmao.#someone shoot me. i need to eternal sunshine of the spotless mind myself < his fave movie. FUCK#maia.txt
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Jongwoo and Moonjo as Persephone and Hades: a Greek Gods AU
Hades was the ruler of the Dead
but he coveted Life
Life was the most powerful
and the most lovely
for they had yet to learn
about their own cruelty
Life pleaded with him:
“If I stay by your side,
I will become something else.”
Hades laughed,
more enamored than ever
Life was afraid
but too curious to part
Life gave so much,
they wanted to know what would happen
if they took it all away
if they destroyed what others took for granted
And Hades saw into the future then
one day, undoubtedly, he too would be
at the other end of Life's mercy
challenged
tormented
and grateful
#strangers from hell#greek gods au#seo moonjo#yoon jongwoo#gifset#poem#*brace's#//#this was supposed to be a moodboard but suddenly it's 6AM and we have gifs and an attempt at poetry ???#Persephone go by they/them here because he/him was too confusing and. whatever. their gender is god.#and Jongwoo is Persephone because Persephone is the best. no further comment.#about Moonjo as Hades though#I think he would feel at home being the keeper of monsters#who's feared by everyone#and occasionally has to come up with new and insanely elaborated punishments to torture people with for eternity#... he's also very lonely and no one loves him :(#so there you go#I finally did something for my favorite au :)#*crying screaming throwing up passing out*
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Doodle of my boy
#keese draws#eternal gales#oc art#oc#fydd <3333333333#he is my bestie I need to get over my fear of drawing him so bad#grips bathroom sink I Will get better at drawing for fun and letting my art be messy and being proud of it anyways#but yeah look at him he is so cute and is so silly and he’s never gone through any traumatic events ever I would never#<- lying lier who lies and loves tormenting it’s ocs#but yeah he’s half alien half human but was raised entirely by his human mom#his alien mom is alas stuck in the cult the two met at rip#fydd doesn’t know abt any of that tho he just knows that he has another mom that his mom doesn’t like talking abt#he loves playing games of all kind but especially loves video games and will play them for hours#not that he has much else to do since he’s spent pretty much his entire life living by a garbage dump in the middle of nowhere#and he’s not allowed to go fuck around in the dump much since his mom doesn’t want him to be seen so he’s stuck at home most of the time#thankfully now he has an adopted sister to play with but he still has viddy game autism#his mom has done her best to introduce him to the various cultures she and his other mom came from but she struggles with it#she was quite disconnected from her own culture growing up and she knows limited amount about her girlfriends home planet#fydd doesn’t mind much rn cause he’s 12 but a certain other older fydd might care a smidge more#fydd does like 60% know both japanese and spanish tho so that’s pretty cool#his mom tried to do regular lessons when he was younger but wasn’t able to keep them up consistently and eventually gave up#mostly because she wasn’t anywhere near fluent in either herself and she had a hard time keeping up with how fast fydd would pick up on it#they still have some books from back then laying around that fydd will pick up and read aloud when he’s bored sometimes#he gets bored of speaking english all the time as his brain is built to pick apart different sounds and assign them linguistic meaning#so reading and speaking different languages is good enrichment for him#his mom doesn’t know this unfortunately otherwise she totally would have gotten him more stuff in different languages to chew on#he does get to learn the language the stalien cast speaks tho he has a lot of fun with that#he alas can’t properly experience most stalien video games though rip#I should rly get to redesigning his human mom again at some point she needs it sooo bad#I mean her whole squad needs it but she’s my favorite so like
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anyway I really do like the idea that his darling spawn shri’iia who’s whole job is to adore him forever and an eternity becomes his very undoing bc he fails to account what that would mean to her. like baby girl you just validated each and every one of her flaws and ugly side just like she validated yours. now you’re stuck with that 🫶🥰🤭
#like the reverse uno card of her telling him to stay as he is forever bc he’s perfect that way… and his slow realisation that he can’t ever#change bc she won’t let him .. and the anger that will surface bc it’s another person controlling him but it’s disguised under LOVE ?????#but then he treats her like a pretty bauble that sits uselessly at the shelf. just there to love and adore him and look beautiful and love#him forever and forever … the realisation that she reverse uno card him and she sees HIM that way too#like yes he has power over her quite literally she’s his spawn but she doesn’t see him as someone to be feared#nope. in her eyes he’s there to be loved and adored and to be praised so why would he change perfection? she doesn’t understand that ..!#now they’re stuck with each other for eternity 🥰😭🤭 and she wouldn’t have it any other way lmfao#like if he was smarter about it maybe he could’ve utilised her the way the matriarch did but he’s not a details guy ok he’s not a planning#person.. and I think if he ascended he’ll just grow worse lol#shut up about bg3.
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Photo of me + photo of Z.sasz we look soooooo good together shit. Hmmm…. <3 giggles. I like him a lot <3
#r: strangelove#dare I say. I love him eternally#he would take a love confession well I just think my insert would struggle with figuring out if that’s the case#The Fear that runs through Jangles upon the accidental but not empty ‘I love you’ that spills from its lips one night with Z.sasz#lord oh lord
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Tag drop: Guizhong (don't mind me re-dropping this with the fixed ones, shh)
#tag drop#[ guizhong. ] many things only seem to surface beneath the moon's poignant glow. wherever its light shines; the heart is wont to follow.#[ guizhong: ic. ] wherever her spirit may be among the countless grains of sand and specks of dust between the harbor and the mountains.#[ guizhong: inquiries. ] hmph. she always had a way with words.#[ guizhong: countenance. ] and because they are afraid; they try so hard to become more intelligent. this i understand.#[ guizhong: introspection. ] although she did not live to see the splendid sights of today: she was as much a hero as any other.#[ guizhong: etc. ] it took an elaborate treasure hunt to preserve the commandments that were once the lifeblood of a whole civilization.#[ guizhong: mortals. ] at their full potential; they could be her equal. a human who has as much to teach an adeptus as to learn from them.#[ guizhong: guili plains. ] as guizhong once said: “it takes every blade of grass and every flower to make a homeland.”#[ guizhong: liyue. ] perhaps she will look at the liyue of today and steal a smile when she sees the prosperous land that it has become.#[ guizhong: realm of clouds. ] a voyage to a sanguine sky.#[ guizhong: mechanical arts. ] in one's heart; i knew that she was indeed the superior talent in the mechanical arts.#[ guizhong: glaze lilies. ] they were far more abundant back then. entire fields would appear to the eye as a veritable sea of flowers.#[ guizhong: adepti. ] until the moon set and the sun rose. and only then would the banquet finally come to an end.#[ guizhong: morax. ] whoever it was that revered her so much was very clever indeed.#[ guizhong: morax. ] when our eyes meet; eternity is defined. [ delusionaid. ]#[ guizhong: xiao. ] if darkness comes; colors you with fear; be still and know that i'm with you and i will say your name. [ apocryphis. ]#[ guizhong: marchosius. ] who would dare snub the stove god and his wondrous creations? at the sight of him: we would drop any argument.#[ guizhong: streetward rambler. ] it almost felt like she was back again. sitting right there on the stone stool next to me; chatting away.#[ guizhong: cloud retainer. ] we each had our ideals; and neither one of us would yield to the other.#[ guizhong: osial. ] she would disrupt the silence around them with a hum; as if to sing to the harmony of the water. was this his song?#[ guizhong: sea gazer. ] he was quite the braggart when it came to those collectibles he was so fond of; he always loved to show them off.#[ guizhong: skybracer. ] to who lived by the mountain; he was their savior. in fact; they thought higher of him than the lord of geo.#[ guizhong: ganyu. ] if we planted flowers in the guili plains; do you think that one day we'd be able to recreate the sea of glaze lilies?#[ guizhong: v. descension. ] she descended whose dominion was over dust; and whose reach shrouded the skies for thousands of miles around.#[ guizhong: v. guili assembly. ] it's great to have it back but i want to go back to the world. and start with guili plains.#[ guizhong: v. archon war. ] they fought upon the plains; where black dust choked the heavens and a thousand rocks splintered.#[ guizhong: v. present. ] all wrapped up in a city that has existed for many moons to date. all these things: they are why people chase it.#[ guizhong: meta. ] her manuscripts lie unfinished in her abode. the blank pages give cause for contemplation on what might have been.
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🩷
#don't think that i take for granted the fact that i was born into the happiest marriage/family in our entire extended clan#this family (on both sides) is rife with divorce and rebellious children and couples that have lost their spark and always seem sad#and sure my parents bicker on occasion and have teir frustrations like any couple#but they're in love! still! after 28 years!!! they're each other's best friends#and the three of us get along so wonderfully and we're always laughing together there is LOVE in this household#but that's just so vanishingly rare it feels like#none of my friends are this close to their parents#and idk i feel like most of the couples we know (not all but most) don't have the kind of happiness my parents have#so i'm in between having a huge appreciation for where i am in life#and fear that i'll never find something like that myself#like sometimes i just think too deeply about it and it feels so difficult so impossible#“this happens once every few lifetimes”#but then i think i'm just being paranoid and actually we DO know lots of very happy enduring couples#that CAN be me#but in a way it's just all a game of chance isn't it#no doubt someone out there would be a good fit for me but what if i never meet him#what if we just. miss each other#there's such a fine line between finding true love and eternal solitude#it can be anything a messed up coffee order a dinner you get invited to a job offer you accept#but you never know what it'll be!!!! and that's so scary!!!!!!!!!#okay i think i'm just making myself feel worse so i'll stop here and go to bed#but just. yea. food for thought on this night of my parents' anniversary#elly's posts
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sometimes I think about how in Chainsaw Man humans will stay dead and devils will cycle between hell and earth for all eternity
#I think about it#and I get sad about it#if heaven exists in csm it only exists for humans#and hell only seems to exist for devils#on earth they’re together (and hurt each other)#(and love each other)#(and fear each other)#for the rest of eternity they are apart#idk man it hurts#thinking about how Aki and Angel are only together for as long as they’re alive#and then they’ll never fucking see each other again#it’s cool it’s fine#and Angel cannot rest#devils exist to eat and be eaten. again and again. death does not come.#let him be free#sorry I’m listening to Family Tree (Intro) by Ethel Cain and having a time#I can’t stop listening to it#it’s my endless cycle lmao#chainsaw man meta#csm meta#hell mention#death mention#chainsaw man#csm#csm aki#csm angel#heaven mention#my thoughts#my csm thoughts#meposting
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