#i will honestly never get over having seen that nor will i ever forget it in my life <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[mvjerbs]

 “Ami! I was going to pay for us!” Kenji complained as he walks out of the restaurant together with Ami who continues to ignore his complaints. She had called him for another exclusive interview but eventually got distracted and started chatting about other things, sharing tea and gossip about other players and people. Ah, the perks of being friends with a journalist.

“Amiii, let me pay you.” Kenji whined causing Ami to sigh in annoyance.

“Oh, just let it go already. I don’t want to feel like a leech! Besides, I was the one who asked for the meet up therefore I am the one who is obliged to pay for us.” Ami reasoned.

“But I have money to burn. Lots of it!” Kenji replied, raising his arms up in the air to prove his point. Ami only rolls her eyes with a smile, still not giving into the offer.

“Ok millionaire, I gotta go now. Chiho is waiting for me to go home.” As if on cue, Ami’s phone rang causing both to look at the source of the noise. Ami fished out her phone from her bag and answered the call, but before she could say hello, Chiho’s voice yelled ‘Mama!’ loudly causing Ami to flinch away from her phone for a moment. Kenji laughed which earned him glare from her.

“What a timing. I’m guessing she’s going to ask you to buy something for her?” Kenji said. Ami replied with a nod before waving goodbye to Kenji who, in turn, waved back before heading to where his Motorbike was parked. As he walked to the parking lot, he passed by a bookstore where he found the brightest and the most eye catching storybook he has ever seen that even got himself hypnotized. Kenji has to admit, he has never seen anything quite like it before, it was adorable and brightly colored. Something Emi would like, it’s been awhile since he last bought her a story book and Kenji decides it was perfect for her. Well, appearance wise that is, he has to check the contents of the book to make sure if it was suitable for her. With the decision in his mind, Kenji walks in and went to the children’s corner where he found the book he was looking for. He read the story for himself to check and was satisfied with it, he turns around to head to the cashier and pay for it only for him to run into someone he didn’t expect to meet. Just a few feet away from him with a basket full of books on one hand while browsing the shelf was-

“Agamatsu?”

The man turned to Kenji and his eyes widened from surprise.

“Sato?” Juro called. The initial shock wore off from Kenji and was now replaced with a smirk.

“Well, it’s a surprise to see you here Agamatsu. What are you doing in the nerd shop?” Kenji asked. Juro turned to fully face Kenji as he gave him his own smirk.

“Was going to say the same thing, but the children’s book says so otherwise. What’s that for? Don’t tell me you let your dad read you bed time stories” Juro replied.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, bookworm” Kenji said in a mocking tone. Despite the insults being thrown at each other, they both felt a strange sense of playfulness in each word causing them to feel slightly comfortable around each other. In fact, Juro merely laughed at what Kenji said causing him to smile. Juro eventually calmed down before asking a favor.

“Hey, listen. Let’s timeout for now, I need help on something.” Juro said, surprising Kenji but nonetheless obliged from the request.

“I honestly thought you forgot about that since it has been months, nor did I expect to do this again with you but I’ll bite. What do you need help with?” Kenji said, curiosity over coming him.

“Of course I wouldn’t forget it, it was something unexpected, but anyways. I need help looking for a book series. The birthday of my friend’s sister is coming up and she has been wishing to get this series as a gift.” Juro explains. Kenji nods along, finally knowing the purpose of the ‘timeout’.

“What do you have so far?” Kenji asked as he peered into the basket.

“So far, I only found 2 parts which is the series’ book 2 and 4.” Juro continued while picking up both books to show to Kenji. 

“I need to have all 5 parts of the book series but I can’t find the rest and I have circled this god forsaken bookstore 4 times already.” Juro complained, looking slightly frustrated at the situation he is in. Looking closely, Kenji could see the exhaustion from walking and looking around. No wonder he’s desperate enough to ask help from him.

“Alright then, I’ll help. Where do we start?” Kenji asked slightly lifting his sleeves to emphasize his seriousness in helping. Juro smiled at the gesture. Both immediately got to work and spent the whole time in the bookstore digging, asking, searching, and complaining about how some costumers won’t return books to where they were originally placed and how it cost them their energy (the other parts were scattered in different parts of the bookstore). Eventually, they found the rest of the parts, all except for the last. Kenji was starting to feel frustrated and Juro was in the verge of giving up, he turned to Kenji to tell him that they can stop then when he was cut of by him.

“Juro, Look!” Kenji exclaimed and pointed. Juro followed the direction to where he was pointing and there he saw someone holding the last book that they needed. And from the looks of it, she was about to return it to the shelf. Both started to head towards where the woman was.

“Excuse me ma’am, I just wanted to ask if you were going to buy that book you are holding?” Kenji asked, catching the attention of the woman causing her to turn around.

“Oh, no I’m not. In fact I was just about to put it back on the shelf. Do you want this book?” The woman asked, pointing at the book.

“Yes please ma’am, thank you so much. You have no idea how long we have been looking for this.” Juro thanked her, both him and Kenji let out a sigh of relief. Their book hunt was now finally over after hours of searching.

“Well, it’s a good thing you both found me before anyone else can-“Before the lady could finish and hand over the book, someone passed and snatched the book away from them and proceeded to walk away.

“Wuh- Hey! That’s ours!” Kenji yelled, pissed because someone had the audacity to snatch the book from them after finally finding it. The man turned to and proceeded to give them a dirty look.

“Yours? You don’t seem like the type to read these type of genre. You don’t seem like the type to read at all. Besides, she was putting it back so I’m claiming it.” The man replied and left, leaving no chance for Kenji to speak.

“Son of a-“Kenji was about to march over to the man, ready to fight for the book when Juro grabbed his arm causing him to stop.

“What are you doing? We should go after him.” Kenji asked, anger evident in his face, but he noticed that Juro’s expression was the opposite. He was strangely calm for someone whose gift was stolen from him. Kenji wonders what he has in mind.

“We will, but I have you ask you something.” Juro said, still staring at the man took their book. Kenji gave him a confused look but turned to him to show he was listening.

“How do you feel about going low?” Juro asked. Kenji smiled in response, glancing at the thief one last time before walking closer to Juro to listen to his plan.

“Fools, they should’ve grabbed it immediately instead of talking. Now my collection is complete!” the man said, smiling to himself as he walks into an aisle, browsing the shelfs and occasionally grabbing a book to read its synopsis. The man was engrossed on the book he grabbed that he failed to see Kenji approaching. As he got close, Kenji ‘accidentally’ bumps into the man causing him to drop all the books he had.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I really should’ve looked where I was going” Kenji apologized. Bending down to help the man in picking up the books he dropped.

“Maybe you should, idiot.” The man muttered loud enough to make sure Kenji hears it. Kenji gritted his teeth, holding back the urge to actually punch the man in the face. After collecting the books, he handed them back to the man and apologized once more before turning to leave.

The man continues to grumble while checking if he was missing any books, and he was. The man slowly started to panic as he wonders what he was missing and where it went before realizing which book was missing. It was also the moment when he realized who bumped into him. Enraged, the man dropped his books and started to look for Kenji, repeatedly chanting ‘thief’. It didn’t take long for him to find Kenji who was just an aisle away from where the man was, he was browsing and looking at the books he was passing by.

“YOU!” The man exclaimed loudly, causing everyone to turn to him including Kenji. Kenji swears he could hear steam coming out of his ear with how angry the man was as he was marching over towards him.

“YOU STOLE MY BOOK! WHERE IS MY BOOK?!” The man said, grabbing Kenji by the collar of his shirt causing him to slightly bend forward. The man was quite short compared to Kenji.

“Book? What book? Can’t you see I am trying to look for a book as well?” Kenji replied, standing back to his full height causing the man so slightly stumble forward.

“LIAR! YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHICH BOOK YOU T-“The man shook Kenji angrily, but then he saw something at the corner of his eye. By the cashier, he saw the missing book that was being held and packed inside a bag by the cashier and Juro handing over the cash to pay.

It turns out, Kenji had stolen the book when he had accidentally bumped into the man and was passed on to Juro who was hiding behind a shelf that was close to the cashier. With book acquired, Juro heads for the cashier while Kenji walks away from Juro to serve as a distraction for when the man realizes one of his books are missing.

The man panicked, letting go of Kenji and started to bolt for the cashier.

“NOOOOO” He yelled out, the world seemed to slow down around him as he watched the cashier print out the receipt and handing it to Juro.

“Here you go sir! Thank you for shopping in-“The cashier yelped in surprise as Juro immediately grabbed the book when he noticed the man dashing for it. He held the book up and backed away from the man who was currently attempting to grab it from him.

“NO THAT’S MINE, YOU CANT HAVE THAT.” The man yelled, trying to get close to Juro and grab the book from him.

“Dude, I just paid for this!” Juro said, still keeping the book out of the man’s reach.

“NO GIVE IT BACK YOURE STEALING YOU THIEF.” The man said accusingly.

“Thief?! I just bought this, its on my receipt. You’re the thief here since you’re trying to take what’s technically my property!” Juro snapped back. This caused the man to throw a tantrum and was about to lunge at Juro when he was suddenly apprehended by the security. He continued to cry out as he was being escorted out of the building. Both Juro and Kenji watched as the man pathetically cried and hurl insults at them before eventually being thrown out of the store.

“Finally, that guy was gone. We have been waiting for an opportunity to do that since he kept disturbing other costumers.” The cashier said, letting out a sigh of relief.

“He does that all the time?” Kenji and Juro asked at the same time, both shocked at the revelation.

“All the time.” The cashier confirms and thanked them once again for shopping. After all the books were paid, both exited the building where they stood there for a moment to process the events that had transpired in the store.

“…do you think we went too low? I mean, we basically embarrassed the guy and got him banned.” Juro asked, finally breaking the silence.

“…nah, he deserved it.” Kenji said. Both looked at each other before bursting out in laughter, tears forming in eyes from how hard they were laughing. Eventually they both calmed down.

“Oh man, that was amazing.” Juro said, wiping the tear from his eyes as he slowly regained his posture. Kenji nodded in agreement, finally calming down from his own laughter.

“Alright. I should pay you for my book-“ Kenji said, reaching for his pockets to fish out his wallet when Juro grabbed his hand to stop him.

“Oh, No need. Take it as thanks for helping me out today.” Juro said, grabbing the story book out of the bag and handing it.

“Ughh, c’mon man. You’re the second person who paid for me today, let me use my money!” Kenji groaned and Juro laughed in response.

“Too bad. Suffer the rich people problems.” Juro replied, Kenji pouted but still accepted the book. He’s going to find a way to somehow repay him for it. As Kenji grabbed the storybook and noticed the contents of the bag.

“Hey, speaking of books. Are those Robotics and Engineering books?” Kenji said, pointing into the bag.

“Oh, yeah they are.” Juro confirmed, fishing out a book to show Kenji.

“Are they for someone as well? They must be a genius to be asking for that kind of book.” Kenji said, thinking about how his dad and the person might get along with their interests.

“No, these are for me.” Juro replied. Kenji looked at Juro with eyes wide in surprise.

“Yours? I didn’t think you were the type at all. No offense.” Kenji commented. Juro simply shrugged at him, looking at the book he has on his hand.

“It’s just a hobby of mine. Nothing much.” Juro said dismissively.

“Nothing much? Bro, my dad is the same as you and I still get impressed with what he makes. You should really show me some stuff, I could show it to my dad too.” Kenji said, Juro looked away while running his hand through his hair. A habit that Kenji notice him do often.

“I’ll think about it. Thanks again by the way. Our timeout can end here.” Juro said as he gave Kenji a soft smile, and Kenji mirrors it.

“Alright, I’ll see you later…nerd.” Kenji said, his smile now replaced with a smirk.

“Really? After you just learned about my hobby I’m a nerd now?” Juro said, playfully as he watch Kenji slowly walking away from him.

“It fits!” Kenji said, still smiling.

“Whatever, thief!” Juro yelled, causing a few people to turn to them.

“You can’t just say that out loud!” Kenji yelled back, now embarrassed as he noticed a few stares from people. Juro only laughed loudly. He watches as Kenji gets on his Bike and drives away while flipping him off as he drove past where he stood, Juro laughed harder and waved at him. As Kenji’s figure disappeared from his sight, he turns around and headed for his car that was parked not too far from him as well. On his way, he recalled the events that happened in the bookstore and Kenji’s laughter echoes in his mind as they laughed about what happened. Juro smiled, suddenly feeling warm and fuzzy inside, he made a new friend. As Juro steps into his car, he silently wished they could have another timeout.

[heybrownieboy]

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO: A MURDERER, A DEMON, AND AN ELEMENTAL?

POV: 2nd Person. Y/N.

— Word Count: 2K+

Author’s Note: Finally an update :). In all honesty, I’ve been struggling with getting back into writing lately— after not having time nor mental energy to in so long— but, I’ve also have felt awful going M.I.A for over two months. So, while I was working on this, I decided to break up what I do have and give you all this little update. I wanted to reassure you all that I am NOT giving up on this SMAU. At all. I will be continuing and finishing it. But for now, I hope you enjoy this. I apologize for it being short but, I promise the next chapter is much longer (once I’m able to actually put this one damn scene into words 😭).

“Do you honestly think this is a good idea?” 

You tore your eyes away from your TV—which was currently playing reruns of “Happiness”— and to the spirit siting on the couch next to you.

“What?” you asked. 

“Tonight,” Minho said. “Do you honestly think going to that shrine tonight is a good idea?” 

“Yes,” you said. 

“That caretaker is crazy, Y/N. Like completely batshit crazy."

“So I’ve heard,” you said.

“I mean it,” Minho said, exasperated. “I think he’s the one that actually killed Jisung and I.” 

Your eyes widened. “Wait what?” you asked. 

“I don’t remember a lot from that night,” he said. “Like at all. And I know you said spirits tend to forget more and more things the longer their earth bound.” 

You nodded at that. 

“But I remember some snippets of that night,” Minho said. “And I think he was there. I swear saw him for a spilt second. I was too shocked when I found…” He took a deep breath, an obvious expression of pain and grief crossing his face. “When I found Jisung’s body. So, I wasn’t exactly paying attention to my surroundings. I saw the caretaker run behind me from my peripheral vision. But, before I could react there was a rope wrapping around my throat.” 

“I thought you two were kidnapped?” you asked. 

“I think we were,” he said. “At least in a sense. Do you remember when Jeongin talked about that night he went to the mountain alone?” 

“He said he doesn’t remember the car ride there,” you said quietly. 

“Or half of his hike through the woods,” Minho finished. "Not until he heard Jisung. From what I remember, something similar happened to me.” 

“It was probably the demon controlling you,” you said. “They’re good at that. It’s like a semi-possession.” You rubbed your temples. “So I’m about to go spy on a murderer, a demon, and an elemental?”

“What do you think they’re doing up there?” Minho said.

“Honestly I don’t know. I feel like I don’t know anything. Everything for me with this whole thing has been guesses.” 

“Yet you’re still trying to help,” Minho said. 

“Of course I am,” you said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Why wouldn’t I?” 

“Because it’s dangerous and you could get hurt,” he said. “Or even die.” 

You shrugged. “It’s not the first time I’ve almost died.” 

“Yeah,” Minho said slowly. “What’s with that huh? How are you alive and have been to hell?” 

You winced. “It was a long time ago,” you said. “And in all honestly I don’t really like talking about it much.”

“I get that,” Minho said. “And I won’t push you to talk about something you don’t want to. Hell was the worst thing I ever experienced in my life. I mean, yeah I guess it’s Hell but, I never expected it to be like…”  He grimaced at the memories.

“Yep,” you agreed, completely understanding of what he meant. 

“I thought it was just going to be super hot.” Minho let out a humorless chuckle. “I wasn’t exactly religious before all this so, I guess I never really read up on it.”

“You could say Dante wasn’t too far off,” you said. “And I do think it’s a little different for everyone.” 

“Yeah. Sometimes Jisung and I would see different things.” 

You squinted at the spirit. “Have you seen any other spirits lately?” 

Minho tilted his head at you. “No actually,” he said. “Now that I think about it. The only one I’ve seen all week is Jisung. Why?” 

“Fucking hell,” you grumbled. You leaned against the back of your couch, head thrown back and eyes staring up at the ceiling. “I’m starting to think that’s what these rituals are for. Because in my twenty years of life, I’ve never gone a day without seeing a least four or five spirits. I’ve only seen three others— besides you and Jisung— in the last week. That’s it. And it been over a week since I’ve seen a demon.” 

“That’s not a good thing?” 

“God, I wish it was. But, no it’s not.” 

“Fuck,” Minho breathed. “So, what should we do? I knew this was complicated and dangerous but this? This seems next level.” 

“I don’t know…” You threw up your hands exasperated. “I feel like that’s all I’ve been saying lately. ‘I don’t know’. It’s so fucking frustrating.” 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Minho said softly. “You’re trying. You’re helping us even if you don’t have to. And so far you’ve done an amazing job okay?”

You have him a half hearted smile. “Thank you,” you said.

“Is there maybe any kind of research you can do on this?” he offered. “I mean, there has to be some answers out there somewhere right?” 

“Maybe,” you said. “I only have like an half an hour before Jay and Nico pick me up though. And kind of search isn’t something I have easy access too. Not to mention it’s the supernatural. Nothing is finite. There’s thousands of rituals out there. And thousands more that aren’t recorded.” You nibbled on the inside of your cheek nervously.

“You grew up in a family of Shaman right?” Minho asked. “Can’t you ask like an elder or something for help?” 

You scrunched your nose at that. “I don’t talk to most of them anymore,” you said. “But, I do have someone I could call. My aunt should be able give me some kind of advice.” 

You leaned over to grab your cell phone off the coffee table. It should be around five P.M in London right now. You scrolled to your aunt’s contact and hit call. It only took a few rings for the line to be picked up

“Y/N-ah.” 

The sound of your Aunt Bora’s gentle voice on the other side of the line immediately had you relaxing. The tension that had building up all day seemed to almost completely melt away. 

“Hi,” you said softly. “How are you?” 

“I’m doing great, honey,” your aunt said. “But what about you? It’s almost one A.M in Korea right now. Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” 

“I wish I could,” you said. “But I’ve been stressed out lately and couldn’t sleep.” 

“Stressed out about school?” Bora asked. “Because you shouldn’t be. I know studying to get your nursing degree can be challenging but you’re extremely intelligent, Y/N. You’ll make an amazing nurse in the future.” 

You smiled at that. “Thank you,” you said. You let out a soft sigh. “But that’ not the reason I called you. I need advice. On the supernatural.” 

“Oh? What do you mean? What’s happening?” 

“Do you remember those two men that went missing last year?” you asked.

“Yes,” Bora said. “Lily-ah and Natty-ah knew them through friends, correct? What were their names again?” 

“Lee Minho and Han Jisung,” you said. You glanced at Minho for a second. He was the one now leaned back into the couch watching you contently. 

“Didn’t you try to help find them last year?” your aunt asked.

“I did,” you confirmed. “But I couldn’t. I didn’t find a trace of them physically or spiritually.” 

“I’ve always found that strange. It’s almost like…” 

“Someone might have been hiding them.” 

“Exactly,” Bora said. “Did you finally find them?” 

“Kind of,” you said. “It’s more like they found me. Well, technically Jeongin found me.”

“Jeongin?” 

“Their friend. Um, how do I even explain?” 

“Start from the beginning yeah?” Bora said, her voice gentle. “Tell me everything you know.” 

And so you did. You explained how Jeongin originally had come to you or “Eris” for advice because he thought his friend was haunting him. How that turned out to be correct and that Minho was in fact trying to get through to him. You explained how you saw Minho and then had the premonition about Jisung. You explained their spiritual debt and how they were tricked by those three. How they had to escape hell and how half of their soul was stolen from them.

“So,” Bora said slowly, “you’re trying to help them break their spiritual debt and move on?” 

“Yes,” you said, with a slight wavier to your voice.

“But?” 

“But that’s not all. One of the trio he made a contract with was human. A living human. Minho is pretty sure that he’s the one that murdered them.” 

“Y/N,” your aunt said lowly. “You can’t confront a murder.” 

“Oh, I’m not done though.” 

There was a few beats of silence before your aunt asked, “What do you mean?”

“In the past week or so, I’ve seen three spirits and no demons,” you said. “Only one of those spirits talked to me. And all it did was ask for the time.” 

“Asked for the time? Spirits never ask for the time. Unless…” 

“Unless they’re being summoned somewhere,” you said. “I think they’re all being summoned to that mount Minho and Jisung went missing on. By the human.” 

“You think he’s summoning them all there for something bigger,” Bora said. 

“Exactly,” you said. “He’s been preforming rituals for about two weeks. At least that we know of. “

“He’s most likely a Shaman. A very powerful one. Rituals like that? They aren’t easy. At all.” 

“I know,” you said.

“And I’m guessing there’s more,” Bora said with a soft sigh. 

“The other two being they made this contract with are supernatural. One is a demon. But the other one, neither Minho or Jisung knew what it was. They said it was different from the demon.” 

“Don’t tell me…” 

“I’m pretty sure it’s an elemental, yeah.” 

“Y/N,” your aunt said voice now taking on a firm, cold edge. “You need to stay away from elementals. They can and will kill you if you ever get in their way. Forget the murderous shaman. Elementals are not bound to the same rules as demons. Not to mention they hate humans more than demons ever have.” 

“I know,” you said. “I do but…” You took a deep breath. “I cannot not help. There’s something seriously wrong.” 

“It doesn’t matter. This is your lif—“ 

“They have wards to keep away angels,” you said cutting your aunt off. 

“What?” she asked, utter disbelief overtaking her tone.

“Minho said that the mountain is littered in wards keeping angels out,” you said. “Namely Azrael.” 

“That’s impossible.” 

“You would think. At first he thought it was just the hellhounds being kept out. They got too close to the mountain and they were repelled, But he said that Azrael has not been able to get onto the mountain at all either. That the barrier the wards created repelled him as well.” 

The other line went silent. After a few moments you began to worry that the call had disconnected. 

“Hel—“ 

“I don’t like this Y/N,” your aunt said quietly. “At all. I understand Azrael is probably the last angel you want to see since… since all of that happened. But he’s still an angel. He’s still a protector. If you go on that mountain, you have absolutely no protection. Not against the Shaman nor the elemental.”

“I realize that,” you said. “And I completely understand that. But like I said. There’s something seriously wrong happening. I think Minho and Jisung were apart of whatever plan they have going on. Not to mention they’ve been talking about Jeongin. Another human life they most likely want to take. They’ve been planning this for at least a year now, Aunt Bora. Whatever it is, it’s huge. God know how many people will eventually be dragged into this."

Your aunt let out a heavy, defeated sigh. “Okay,” she said. “Okay. I know there’s no way to talk you out of this.” Another sigh left her lips. “ Let me think for a few minutes. Maybe I can help.” 

You smiled. “Thank you,” you said. “So much.” 

Your aunt simply hummed. After a few minutes she began speaking again. “How were those to boys killed? Do you know? I might be able to narrow down what ritual they’re trying to get ready up for.” 

“They were strangled,” you said. You peered at Minho for a second, your eyes focusing on the wound around his neck.. “Well, honestly it looks like the rope cut into their throats. They both have these huge infected gashes.” 

“Infected?” Bora asked. 

You copied her hum from a few moments ago. “Yeah.”

“Y/N, if they were dead, how could their wounds be infected?” 

< Previous | Next >

Of Chaos And Spirits Masterlist

Taglist (Open): @lily-loves-kpop @f9clementine @bookswillfindyouaway @lilyuwon @kpopjackie @i-dont-know-me-either @tirena1 @velvetmoonlght @whiteghostt @iambangchanswife @mehli-00 @chantalkkate16 @briar-rose23 @fic-for-readers @to-toad @fr34k4c1dr41n @jiryunie

©️heybrownieboy 2024

[loverboybrightsideghost]

@krakkenchaos no problem! to me, that "a friend of mine" line just moves me, i guess. hermes, while not impartial at all, is the narrator, and while he does interact with the characters throughout, i feel like there's only a few spots in the musical where he lets himself get particularly personally involved, apart from just telling the tale. he speaks directly to orpheus and eurydice of course, but it's always about them and the story, not about hermes himself, of course.

in that line, hermes once again acknowledges his own personal relationship with orpheus (as his mentor), and not only that, but he straight up says that orpheus changed him. "i learned that from a friend of mine." 

i also love the choice of words; he doesn't outright say "my old pal orpheus changed me" he says "a friend of mine," and to me that combined with the way the line is said feels like hermes is finally admitting in spite of himself (see what i did there?) that orpheus is more than a story to him. and maybe that's (to borrow a line from another musical) why he tells the story; it moved him so deeply that he needs to share it to everyone. it's like you said, orpheus had a gift to give, and he gave it to everyone whose path he crossed, including hermes, and now hermes tells us orpheus's story so he can give that gift to us, too. he's imploring the audience to see the world the way it could be, like orpheus did, so that maybe we can make the world we dream about be the one we live in now, to take a quote from the nytw version.

Wait, is the "I learned that from a friend of mine" referring to Orpheus or something else? I don't know if I misunderstood that or not

hey! i mean, as with all art and music, the end product (in this case, the song and its lyrics) are entirely up to each person's interpretation of it, but yeah i think that the "friend" in that line is pretty clearly implied to be/referring to orpheus. i don't know if you've seen the show, or if you've seen a video of that song being performed, but in that scene, orpheus is still on the stage (frozen in shock and grief), and hermes looks directly at him when he says "i learned that from a friend of mine." i would be really genuinely interested to hear a different interpretation of that line and who it could be referring to, though, if you have one!

tldr; yeah it refers to orpheus lol

[intoanotherworld23]

Pick Your Battles VII

Pairing: Reader x Bradley Bradshaw

Warnings: Some swear words

Summary: Bradley broke your heart when he accused you of betraying him, and you haven’t seen or spoken to him since. Until you are both called back to Top Gun to help with a dangerous mission that nobody’s ever attempted before

✨Please do not copy and paste my work or steal my work or publish my work as your own or I will have you reported✨

Part 6 Part 8

Heart break. Pain. Agony. Betrayal. Humiliation.

That's what you felt walking away from Bradley that night. Not wasting another moment of your time even when he was following you around begging you not to go without an explanation. Even though the woman showing up at the door was a enough.

The room felt like it was spinning and you wanted to sit down, but you just needed to get the hell out of there. Tuning out her yelling at him all the questions as he just ignored her. His only focus was on you and it terrified him that you wouldn't even look at him.

Both of your lives spiraling out of control within a blink of an eye. Everything seemed too good to be true, and you felt like something bad was going to happen sooner or later.

Tears just streaming down your face as you hitched a ride with some random woman. She could tell by looking at you that you were extremely distraught, and as a fellow woman she wanted to help you.

She didn't even need to know the story she could already tell it was a man. Handing you tissues as you blew into the fabric while trying to control your crying. Looking at your phone staring at it waiting for his name to pop out on the screen.

"Fuckin men." She sneered as she lit a cigarette shaking her head. "If someone can break your heart than there's no hope for me."

You didn't honestly know what to say to that so you just sat back quietly sniffling. Knowing that her words were supposed to be of comfort but at the same time seeing you hurt like that must have reminded her or someone that broke her spirit.

Bradley never once mentioned another woman to you nor did he even tell you he was seeing someone. Maybe he forget about her and just didn't think to mention her. Or maybe she was a psycho stalker who hunted him down, and wanted to be with him.

You've gotta get those excuses out of your head not wanting to give him a life raft. If he wanted you to hear the truth he would come to you and explain what was going on.

Right now you just wanted to get back to your place and forget about tonight. Feeling absolute disgust that you could have almost slept with him if she wouldn't have knocked on the door. He treated you like such fragile glass like he was afraid to hurt you. In the end he was hurting you by lying to you.

"Don't worry about it." Waving her hand when she saw you digging through your purse to get out some money. "You just forget about him."

"Thanks." Your voice scratching like you had a sore throat or something.

Getting out of the car you shuffled to the door feeling like your entire body was run over. Whatever you were feeling you thought that it was worst the last time, but this took the icing on the cake.

Thinking back to what she said about just forgetting him was easier said than done. Even after everything he's done to you your heart couldn't just let him go like that. He still meant the world to you and always would.

Grabbing your phone before you tossed your purse on the table as you headed towards your room. Rubbing your eyes as you looked in the mirror seeing how red and puffy your eyes already were.

Looking down at yourself to see that you were still wearing Bradley's clothes. Sighing not knowing if you wanted to take them off or not. Feeling your bottom lip trembling at the thought of tossing him to the side. Hating yourself for not wanting to take it off.

Crawling into bed as you grabbed your pillow and squeezing it tightly. Looking at your phone to see Bradley had already been calling you and texting you several times. Putting mental handcuffs on to not respond or call him back. You wanted him to suffer with knowing what he did to you.

There was so many people you wanted to call right now and just break down into sobs. There was one person on your mind though that you needed to see, and wanted to hear what he had to say. It was your father.

——————————————

"Hey mom." Greeting her with a hug and kiss as soon as she opened the door for you.

"How are you sweetie?" She asked pulling back keeping her hands on your arms knowing something was wrong.

"I'm okay." Giving her a weak smile as she nodded not believing you but she didn't want to push you and make you upset.

"You know you can talk to me." Your mother was always your biggest fan, and was always in your corner no matter what especially when it came to boys. "Any time."

"I know mom." Whispering as you looked down at your shoes her hands leaving your arms as she stared at you. "How is he?"

"It's worse today." Seeing tears forming in her eyes as she tried to keep it together. "Talking even hurts him now."

"Jesus fuck I'm so sorry mom." Placing a hand over your mouth not ready to face reality. "I am so sorry."

"Don't be sorry please he knows that you love him." She pulled you in for another hug as you two had a quick cry together.

Never in a million years did you ever think something like this would happen to your father. You always he would live to be at least a hundred years old. You've heard of other people going through this, but you never expected it to hit home like this.

"He's been waiting for you." She spoke as she wiped away a tear falling down.

"Office." Was all you said as she nodded in agreement with a huge grin and a light chuckle that you already knew.

As you walked away and up the stairs down the hall you couldn't help but glance at all his medals and awards he had hanging on the walls. Pictures of him and his fellow pilots from over the years. Smiling to yourself at everything your dad had accomplished in his life.

Opening the door since it was already cracked to see him sitting at the desk. A few congested coughs left his throat making you wince at the sound. You hated seeing him like this and hearing him like this reminded you why you were trying to avoid seeing him.

He was wearing winter clothes even though it was the middle of the summer. The cancer did that to me for whatever reason you didn't know. It wasn't something you asked him about nor did you want to.

"Hey old man." Joking with a light chuckle making him turn around to smile at you although his lips didn't part.

"I'm glad to see you." Pulling up a chair to sit next to him he smiled as he nodded his head in agreement watching as he typed out something on his computer.

I want to talk about work

"There struggling to fly as a team and Maverick and I don't know what else to do." Shaking your head knowing this mission could mean their lives. "Hangman and Bradley are at each other's throats."

"I'm just scared that there not going to come back home." A lump forming in your throat making you struggle to gulp. "I can't be responsible for another failed mission."

Y/N you will not fail.

"This is a mission that nobody else has seen before." Your hope fading the more you thought about it. "A mission I don't think he can accomplish."

Believe in yourself and the team

As you sat there looking over at his screen you stared at those words. Etching them into your brain as you tried to brush your shoulders off and tell yourself that you could do this. Maybe your father was right and believing in yourself and the team was the guide you needed. They needed a leader who believed in them and that would give them the courage and strength to do this.

"There's something else I needed to talk to you about." Mumbling as you leaned your elbows on your knees trying to figure out how to explain this to him.

"As you know Bradley is back for this mission." You started off trying to find the right words to say. "We talked and things were good like really good."

"We talked about everything that happened and I guess cleared the air on things." Taking a deep breath before continuing. "It was like we were best friends again but this time it was more than just a friendship."

That's good so what's the problem?

"He has a girlfriend apparently." Looking away as you felt your eyes watering saying it out loud.

Did he tell you that?

"No he didn't say anything." Shaking your head as you sat up straight.

You didn't give him a chance to explain.

"No." Laughing as he gave you that knowing look that there was more to this story than you probably knew. "I was just so angry I left before he could say anything."

Maybe you should talk to him.

"I don't know dad I don't know if I can."

You'll never know unless you talk to him

"You're right." Grumbling as you rolled your eyes making him chuckle. "Thank you dad."

Both of you standing up your hands reaching out to help him automatically. His hands gripping yours as he stared at you. Moving his mouth like he was wanting to say something. Your eyes shifting all around his face noticing he was struggling but he pushed through anyway.

"I am so proud of you and everything you have done." His voice straining to speak almost like he lost his voice and it broke your heart. "Talk to Bradley you'll feel better if you did."

"I love you so much sweetheart." The corner of his mouth lifting up as you pulling him in for a hug.

"I love you too dad."

——————————————

You hated how right your dad was about your situation with Bradley. The last thing you wanted to do was talk to him but you knew you'd have to eventually. Maybe there really was more to his story than what you were thinking.

Today might be one of those days where you just have to bite the bullet and talk to him. It's not like you could avoid him for long since you were teaching him. Knowing Bradley he would stop at nothing to want to talk to you.

Heading into the base your shoes echoing down the hall to the room Maverick told you to meet him in. Stopping in the doorway once you saw him and Bradley standing there deep in conversation. Both their heads turning in your direction when they heard you.

"Y/N." Maverick started off and all you did was shake your head over and over again.

"I'm not doing this right now." Turning around ready to head out Mavericks voice stopping you.

"Your dad messaged me." Closing your eyes with a sigh knowing your dad knew you'd need a little help talking to Bradley. "Said you and Bradley needed to talk about some things."

"I don't need to talk to him at all." Turning around to look at Bradley who looked like he hadn't slept in weeks when it's only been two days. "There's nothing to talk about."

"Talk to him now or you can go outside and do five hundred push ups." His tone letting you know he wasn't playing around and you know you couldn't do two hundred push ups let alone five hundred.

"Fine." Snipping as you started walking back into the room.

"Try not to kill each other." Was all Maverick said before he walked out of the room making you shake your head at him.

You refused to look at Bradley worried you'd start crying and you would just fall right back into his arms. You could feel him staring at you though it was like you could feel his eyes burning into your skin.

The room felt so small and only felt like it getting smaller. The walls were caving in on you, and there was no way to escape. It was you and Bradley in this room and you needed to face those skeletons in your closet.

Bradley wanted to wait until you said the first words. He knew that you were still upset and angry with him and probably had a lot of questions for him. So if that meant waiting for you to speak first that's exactly what he would do.

"Do you have any other secret woman or relationships I should know about?" Speaking up first with a harsh tone.

"No there's nobody else or hasn't been." He spoke up quickly.

"Who was that girl?" You spoke up still not looking at him. "From the other night."

"Her name is Madeline." Almost wanting to roll your eyes at the fact she even had a name.

"Is she your girlfriend?" This time you were looking at him to see if you could catch him lying.

"No I promise you she's not." Shaking his head at your answer his eyes never leaving yours.

"Then why is she calling herself your girlfriend?" You pushed for further explanation.

"We did go out." Inhaling with a hiss hearing that but you let him continue. "But I broke it off before I came back."

"How long we're you two together?"

"A couple of weeks maybe." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Has she ever tried to contact you?" Crossing your arms across your chest.

"Yes she has and I ignored her every single time."

"How on earth did she find out where you lived? Now you were just confused about that part.

"I have no idea how she found me." He walked closer to you but kept a safe distance. "But she did."

"So she's crazy." Bradley laughed at your choice of words for her making your lip twitch trying not to crack a smile.

"I should have figured that when I broke it off and she wouldn't take no for answer." He was slapping himself in the face for putting himself in these kinds of situations.

"I want to believe you Bradley I really do." Putting your hands out speaking your mind. "But I just I can't."

"You've ever right to not trust me." He agreed with you although he didn't like that you didn't exactly trust him. "But I am telling you the truth."

Pressing your lips together fighting back the tears threatening to spill. Yours cheeks felt like they were on fire as you felt something inside of you ready to explode, and this time you weren't going to hold back. He needed to hear how everything he put you through really hurt you.

"Do you have any idea how humiliated I felt?" Screaming at him making him wince hearing you talk like that. "How much I cried that night because of everything?"

"No I don't and I should have never made you feel like that." Lowering his head down hearing the pain in your voice.

"Quite honestly I really felt like leaving completely." Telling him which had his head snapping back up at you. "And never looking back."

"Y/N you can't leave."

"I talked to my dad." You confessed a tear rolling down your cheek.

"You're telling me the truth about there being nobody else?" Asking him again giving him one last chance to confess just in case.

"Y/N darlin I am telling you the truth there is no one else." His voice strained wanting to just grab you and show you that he didn't care about anybody else but you.

Rethinking over and over again what he just told you in your head. Deciding on whether or not you should believe him and trust him again. Your mind racing around in circles that it was starting give you a headache.

"Okay." You whispered with a sigh after a few seconds of silence watching relief wash over Bradley's face. "But don't expect me to just embrace you with open arms."

"No no I won't." He put his hands up as you pointed a finger at him.

Bradley looked at you like little lost puppy dog who just wanted to be held. You could tell by the clenching and unclenching of his fists that he wanted to touch you or at least hold you. Funny thing is you were feeling the exact same way.

Walking towards him you stood directly in front of him now. Slowly wrapping your arms around his middle as he hugged your upper body to his. Leaning his chin on the top of your head as held you tightly.

The two of you embracing each other in a way that seemed like you were silently telling each other you could heal from this. Almost like you were telling each other you two belonged to one another. Even though he's never asked you officially to be his you knew it.

Just praying and hoping that you weren't going to regret forgiving him like this. Telling yourself that if he lies again to you about anything you would be done with him, and never speak to him again.

Hearing a knock coming from the doorway you and Bradley pulled away so fast afraid it was someone you both didn't want to see. Letting out sighs of relief when you saw that it was just Maverick with a hopeful smile on his face.

"We all good?" He asked looking between you and Bradley the two of you looking at each other smiling.

"Yes we're good Dr.Phil." Your voice dripping with sarcasm making him laugh and Bradley pull you by his side.

"Good." Now standing in front of you an excited look on his face.

"What's with that look?"Asking as you squinted your eyes at him.

"Just what I have in store for our next lesson." You and Bradley looked to each other nervously what he had in store for you guys.

"Which is?" Bradley pressed hating the suspense of his answer.

"We're going to the beach." The hell does the beach have anything to do with flying?

[sturnprime]

SOFIA, chris sturniolo 🩵

from h ꨄ︎ ⎯ i would have written smut if i knew how to but i think it would suck arse so 😝

i hope you love it 🩵 (join the taglist here)

as decided, once matt and nick arrived home and sorted out the few bits of groceries they brought from a local store, the brothers alongside nate went to the car and straight to carlos' ice cream parlour. the specific parlour was one that everyone in the small village seemed to be talking about and whenever they made conversation with locals, it was practically always the first thing recommended so the decision to try it out the previous day was most certainly an easy one. long story short, they all absolutely adored it beyond belief, hence the will to get some more the following day.

now, truth be told, the parlour was in fact in walking distance and they could have easily made it there in under fifteen minutes on foot if they truly wanted to but the scorching heat seemed far too extreme to even consider walking and so they had settled on the car, driving the quick route with the slight breeze seeping in through the windows and arriving in no time at all with excitement bubbling up inside of each individual at the prospect of easing their warmth.

the area was mostly void of people besides the few who roamed around almost mindlessly yet as the four of them approached the parlour, they took note of the way it was bustling with people. the animated atmosphere welcomed them with open arms as soon as they stepped inside and the small bell above them chimed, signalling new customers had arrived. most of the seats were occupied and quite literally everyone there had a smile on their face as they exchanged conversation from across the parlour in delight, not even caring that anyone could hear their conversations because it truly was seemingly a normality here.

chris couldn't help the fascination that sprouted inside of him as his curious eyes took in the various groups that came together ever so flawlessly. he offered a smile to anyone who caught his eyes as he, his brothers and nate moved towards the ordering booth that was placed just beside the vibrant array of never ending flavours. when they had the ice cream yesterday, nate had gotten it but this time chris was permitted to see the environment and he quite honestly adored it for what it was.

he could hear small strings of numerous conversation and the sound of laughter travelled to his ears and faded into a slight buzz of admiration. he smiled yet again to himself as he looked to the ceiling, eyes meeting the multiple chandeliers and uniquely, shaped lights scattering the surface. seeing as it was day time, they weren't switched on but part of him just knew the illumination would not be too bright nor too dull, just the right amount to perfectly accommodate the customers. 

his eyes flickered over the flavours presented at the front before he instantly decided on his choice, a classic cookies and cream that he undoubtedly knew he would enjoy as per usual and never go wrong with. the man at the front allowed them to ponder over their options for a few minutes before he kindly stepped forward and asked if they were ready to order. they all informed him on what flavours they wanted and how many scoops before he told them they could either stick around or find a seat.

they were too engrossed in their conversation as it was and didn't seem to mind standing around and waiting as carlos prepared their orders. the exchange of words they shared seemed to make time stand still and spiral ahead all at once, providing them with a miniature moment of utter humour that they were positive they would never forget due to how joyous it made them feel.

"hija! can you get me some more tubs, por favor?" chris heard the man yell to whoever was behind the doors and just a few seconds later, none other than what chris could only deem as the prettiest girl he had ever seen, came out with a brand new stack of tubs balancing in her hands.

"you're drooling," nick's voice pulled him out of the trance he had stepped into and for a moment chris genuinely believed him because he was basically gaping at the girl, eyes filled with a glint he could almost see himself.

"she's so fucking pretty," chris commented as his eyes remained glued to her before he abruptly looked away, not wanting to appear as some sort of creep if she looked in their direction.

"go talk to her," nate encouraged him and chris thought about it for a moment, considering stepping closer to the desk to speak to her but the universe was apparently on his side because she beat him to it, offering the group a soft smile that chris was sure made him melt more than the ice cream when it left the coolness of the store.

"i've never seen you guys before, are you visiting?" she asked them, curious eyes and the most unique accent chris has ever heard in his life, one that had him wanting to hear her voice over and over again.

"we're here for the summer, we're from boston," nick answered on their behalves and her eyes lit up at the information.

"i don't think we've had visitors from there before, how did you come across the village?" she pondered aloud, her head quickly turning back to see if her dad was focused on her but he was too busy preparing orders to care.

"our grandma has a friend who has family here and she told us it was a peaceful place to visit," matt told her and she nodded along eagerly before a sort of realisation dawned on her face.

"i didn't even introduce myself, how rude! i'm sofia and that's my father, carlos," she pointed at her dad who offered them smiles.

"i'm nate, their friend and they're all brothers, nick, matt and chris," nate introduced and sofia would be lying if he she said her gaze didn't remain on chris as she studied the group in front of her, most definitely enamoured by the sight before her as well as his ever so charming smile.

"nice to meet you all," she grinned just as carlos yelled a few words about their orders being ready and so she hurried to grab them from him alongside some plastic spoons.

"guessing people's ice cream flavours is my speciality," she told them as she was in earshot once more before she handed them all what flavour she thought they had selected and remarkably, her guesses were all correct.

"how the fuck did you-" nate began to ask but sofia interrupted him immediately, her eyes glimmering at the not quite delivered question.

"you were the easiest to guess. you remind me of my best friend daphne and daphne always sneaks cotton candy into a tub. my dad pretends to be mad but he's always preparing her order way before she even gets here," sofia explained with a fond smile, the admiration evident in her eyes as she spoke about her father and best friend; two of the most important people in her life and people whom she would never be able to express her mounts of gratitude for.

"what do you always have then?" chris queried and her eyes brightened up at the question, happy that the boy was taking an interest in her when she was very much interested in him too.

"blue raspberry," she answered, pointing at the flavour that chris had seemingly missed because his jaw hung open in shock the very moment he laid eyes on the presented container filled with the blue contents and marked with blue ras on the front.

"blue raspberry ice cream exists?" he exclaimed in shock, the tone of his voice making his surprise extremely prominent, if not already clear from the way his jaw was practically on the floor at her words.

"of course. don't tell me you've never tried it before?" her eyes widened at the realisation before she without a second thought or word to spare went further behind the counter once more and scooped up some of her favourite flavour with a small smile still playing at her lips.

"hija i thought we save your flavour until there's a break," her dad chuckled though he mindlessly handed her a bundle of the colourful, plastic spoons from the side, knowing she liked to pick her own and watching as she picked out the blue one with no hesitation.

"it's not for me padre, it's for him," she pointed at chris and carlos raised his brow once he spotted chris before smirking that knowing smirk of his a little.

"él es tu novio? que guapo," he pondered and sofia sighed loudly as she shook her head firmly, a small hint of red threatening to break out onto her face but being pushed down instantaneously.

"no i only just met him today, he's a friend?" she retorted almost questioningly, not knowing their status given the fact that they'd just met, but carlos only seemed to laugh harder at her words and their frustrated delivery.

"pero él es guapo, sí o no?" he pressed further and she shook her head once more, elbowing his ribs the moment he laughed again, his pearly white teeth shining on display through the curious smile he maintained.

"sí pero él es un amigo, nada más," she reminded him with a small huff that made him look to chris yet again, connecting eyes with the teenage boy before he abruptly looked away.

"amigo, that's what they all say," he grinned and she flicked a piece of his hair as she walked away and returned to her previous position where the boys were waiting for her.

"were you speaking spanish?" nate said as she handed chris the small tub of ice cream and the blue spoon to match, a small detail he picked up on but she didn't think he had seeing as no one ever really did.

"no she was speaking french idiot, of course she was speaking spanish," matt rolled his eyes and nate raised his hands up in mock surrender.

"yeah my dad's spanish and he has this thing of continuing to speak spanish because he doesn't want me to forget the language," she shook her head at the absurdity of forgetting spanish when it meant so much to her and then she watched as chris took a bite of the ice cream and broke out into an incredibly large smile as the flavour hit his mouth.

"that tastes so fucking good," he hummed and she nodded her head, a smile weaving its way onto her face at their mutual excitement that made chris give her a large smile in response.

"i can speak french," chris told her with a grin and she immediately gasped.

"can you actually? i love the way french sounds," she smiled and chris forced away the smile that threatened to break out at her gullibility so he could continue his act that he wasn't even sure why he was performing.

"yeah i went paris for a school trip and learnt it all there," he continued to lie and clearly nick had enough of his bullshit as he ceased the conversation.

"okay he's literally lying to you, kid's never been france in his life and the only french thing he can say is bonjour," the eldest triplet shook his head and sofia scoffed at chris seeing as she had been thoroughly interested in what he was saying, only for it to turn out false.

"why did i actually believe you? this is betrayal," she shook her head at chris who merely laughed at the expression portrayed on her face.

he was about to respond but the sound of carlos calling her to help with something or the other stopped him. before she could disappear however, chris made sure this wasn't the last of her he was seeing.

"can i get your number? i'd like to hang out when you get off work?" he smirked and she bit her lip nervously, nodding her head and grabbing his phone to type in her number.

"bye sofia," he mumbled and she muttered a small bye chris as a means of reply, too dazed to realise she never said goodbye to the others but frankly not finding it within herself to care, not when chris offered her that beautiful smile one last time.

as promised, chris texted her later that night and asked if she wanted to hang out. there was no way on planet earth she could possibly say no to him and so she agreed in an instance, recommending various places but hoping he chose one of her favourites. luckily for her, he chose one of the small beaches that people didn't really go to at night unless they wanted to relax so the calming environment would certainly help to ease her nerves.

she approached the entrance and prayed he was already there, a smile working its way onto her face as she noticed him glancing around, presumably for her.

he breathed out a sigh of relief as she approached him, words spilling out of him, "for a second there i thought you weren't coming."

"i couldn't leave you like that," she grinned at him, a surge of confidence leading her to grab his hand and lead him into the beach.

the soft humming of the people and the slashing of the waves was a tranquil melody in the background of their exchanged words. sofia found it was easy to talk to him for the most part, aside from the very obvious attraction she was feeling. guys like chris didn't just turn up to her village randomly; this felt like a major dream and the feeling of his rough and large hand against hers as they remained intertwined was driving her a little over the edge the more she thought about it.

"what's on your mind?" the lowness of his voice was not helping and she could have sworn he was doing it on purpose, a teasing smirk never parting from his face as he stared at her from their place on the grainy sand.

"stop looking at me like that!" she shoved him slightly and a laugh escaped his lips before he licked at them, staring intently at her as her eyes met his.

"like what?" his hand moved to cup her cheek and her breath hitched in her throat, a small gasp sounding into the air at the touch and making her blink her eyes shut in embarrassment.

"come on sof, open your eyes yeah? wanna see you," he mumbled, his hand swiping across her face and his eyes watching as her eyes slowly fluttered open, hazel meeting blue in a kaleidoscope of adoration.

"you gonna let me kiss you?" he asked and all she could do was nod her head weakly, parting her lips and giving him the perfect access to attack her mouth with his own.

she just seemed so innocent and the idea of kissing her and maybe doing more thrilled chris beyond belief. he wasted no time in attaching their lips, claiming hers in a pure frenzy and making sure to slide his tongue into her mouth at her sudden gasp when he bit down on her lip.

he practically chased after her, his hands desperately clutching any part of her body he could and relishing in the way they fit so perfectly around her as though they were crafted to hold her and her alone. her hands rushed to his hair, tugging on it in a way that made him lose any sense of composure he had left.

“chris,” a whine fell from those plump lips and chris couldn’t help but steal them again, his entire being wanting nothing but her in the moment to the point he was sure all he was breathing right now was the hypnotic scent of her perfume and the miniature breaths wafting into the air.

“hm?” he asked when he finally pulled apart and she stared at him, eyes wide and expression portraying something chris couldn’t read even if he tried his hardest to.

“i know a place…” she trailed off and fuck, he was in another world entirely as he stood up and followed after her without hesitation, not a single thought in his head except how much he craved her.

TAGS 𖤐 @mattslolita @eyeliketoeatpoosay @middlepartmatt @chrissturniolossidehoe !

[eisforeidolon]

Hey there, I hope you don't mind me dropping in here on a topic from a few days ago and harping on about it (I'm not very well-versed on ask boxes so I'm a bit unsure of the etiquette. If I commit a major faux-pas, forgive me). Apologies if this ends up a little long and a lot sarcastic - I have opinions about this. It's given me a fair bit of grief over the years.

Y'know, I see these 'abusive Dean' takes float across my dash a fair bit (apparently not being into Destiel or Wincest means I must be a Bitter Sam-girl instead and hate Dean, according to Tumblr). The oh-so-delightful 'abusive husband Dean and beaten wife Sam' takes. People calling Sam 'beaten wife coded' in general. One based on a grand total of two instances where he flinched cause Dean made a loud violent noise near him (who the hell wouldn't, you don't need to be 'beaten wife coded' to flinch when someone chucks a chair at a wall, it's almost like Sam has some kind of trauma about various other things and might be generally jumpy...). Or taking the end of S10 out of context and choosing to forget that Dean was nearly fully taken over by a mark of fratricide (which he still managed to overcome, they conveniently fail to mention that). And I just... ugh.

What I never understood about these takes is like... why? There's trying to paint your fave in a good light and a character you hate in a bad one, but then there's making the heart and soul of the show itself into something so ugly it ruins it for other people, like your Anon, and honestly this happened to me too a while ago before I forced myself to stop listening to the greater fandom and find a few I trusted (like you). Even still, it gets all up in my head sometimes. Why are these people finding such glee in making the central relationship so awful? What are you getting out of this show if you think that about it?

Like, imagine looking at the finale through this lens. Congratulations, you turned something sad but ultimately bittersweet into something horrible, the 'beaten wife' dedicating the rest of their life to their 'abuser' then being forced to be with them for eternity, and this is portrayed as a good thing. Why would you ever want to view it that way? Plus, it's rather forced if you take it as a whole - the few times Sam stood there looking contrite while Dean did something stupid pale in comparison to the number of times he calls him out on it, even in the later seasons (14x12 Prophet and Loss, anyone? 15x17 Unity?).

I guess people can take from media what they want, it's obviously not my place to police people's enjoyment, but I just never got the appeal. It seems so counter to what the show was clearly actually trying to do, yet they tout it as fact (now where have I seen that before). Like it's somehow a bad thing to enjoy the show on its own terms. Coming across these takes still kinda bums me out. This goes for people insisting it's the other way around too - I can't stand any brother vs. brother stuff either, it's never anything but bad faith, and honestly kinda misses the point. Some of these people boggle my mind with their lack of empathy.

If there's one thing this fandom is good for, it's honing your ability to roll your eyes and move along. It's full of so much absolute batshit insanity that you'll never survive if you listen to every take. Trust me, I've tried. Do you know which tags to block to avoid this kinda stuff? Cause I never seem to be able to.

Sorry if this was a bit of a rant dump, heh. I'm usually a chronic lurker, but this discourse in particular bothers me immensely.

You're absolutely fine, I mind neither bringing up previous topics nor excessive length (be a bit of a hypocrite if I did, tbh). And yeah, it's one of my least favorite SPN fandom discourses, too.

It does feel like it's pretty hard to find any corner of the fandom where you won't at least occasionally see one side or the other's worst faith not!fave-brother-is-terrible takes. And oh, do I hate the 'beaten wife Sam' half of the 'Dean is an abuser' discourse equation just as much. Like, supposedly they like Sam, so why on earth would they want to pretend this stubborn competent badass of a character is actually a helpless pathetic marshmallow?! Same with Dean on the opposite side of the fandom - it's not just the character they're constantly maligning I can't recognize, the character they "like" similarly bears very little resemblance to the one I'm a fan of!

So far as I can tell, some people just desperately need their favorite character to be the best one who is always in the right. Whether it's over-identification or what, I don't know. They seem to think they achieve it by reframing large portions of the canon as justifying, unfairly attacking, or insulting that character as necessary. Except they don't see how from the outside it very often looks entirely absurd, regardless of if they're doing it in favor of Sam, Dean, or Castiel. Which is not to say there aren't parts of canon which treat all of those characters ridiculously in one way or another? But it's the total fixation on it only being the case with their favorite character in every possible situation where it gets weird.

Every great once in a while, I do manage to come across a take that really annoys me. But for the most part? The extreme ones are just so absurd, so divorced from what anyone even vaguely trying to understand the other characters' motivations and what the show quite obviously intended? I just can't take it at all seriously. Especially when they (as they so often do) get canon details wrong or pointedly "forget" all the canon points that blatantly don't fit their narrative.

Unfortunately, like with a certain ship, when it comes to tagging? You're kind of at the mercy of the self-awareness of the poster about how much other people may not want to see their hot takes.

[bylertruther]

That comment was so true, I was just thinking the same way. Old bylers were more open to criticizing the show's bad aspects and writing choices instead od trying to bend the whole thing to come up with excuses and explanations. Nowadays when you criticize a writing choice or something done by the Duffers you automatically get accused as if you've just committed a crime because how dare you think the Duffers aren't perfect genius writers that put everything intentionally without any mistake.

yeah! nowadays, in this corner, criticism is seen as a bad thing that you would never do to something you enjoy, and it's like... huh? it's okay to not enjoy something 100%. the duffers and co are not infallible and people don't have to like every decision they've ever made. that shouldn't even be something that someone on the internet has to say—existing as a human being in the world should've taught everyone that back when they were a baby.

even beyond that, as others have mentioned in other conversations, you can understand someone else's viewpoint just fine and still not feel as though there's enough relevant evidence to back it up, and feel hesitant because of how the duffers have consistently handled other plots.

like, personally... i struggle to be one of those #believers, because of how present the show's racism is in my mind. also, season three and season four are right there, alongside the show's misogyny and classism, too. and don't forget the little inconsistencies and anachronisms either! there's A Lot that i don't like and that i feel could've been corrected or reworked more effectively had they had a more diverse writing room or consulted others during the writing process. i like the general direction of the show, but there are a lot of details or ways they went about it where i'm like ://// man..

and.... controversial perhaps... but i feel that behavior is especially rampant in the byIer fandom and it manifests as the fanon that we can't seem to shake off.

mike does pay acute attention to will in some ways, but he's not the obvious lovesick, clingy, forever doting, golden retriever bf that people make him out to be [shout out to s2 mike tho he was built different 💔]. that fanon!mike is fans overcompensating for canon mike's behavior and presentation, which honestly has not been that fucking great as of late, purposely because he can't balance having both will and el in his life, among other mike-specific reasons, and because the duffers changed the way they wrote him post-s2. he does care about and love will, but not like many fans suggest, at least not yet.

but if you say that around here, you're seen as a freak weirdo mike hater talking about some ooc mike even though the show is right there and i could point to the 9384038049 times that mike forgot about will, brushed him off, was mean to him, or explicitly chose someone else over him. purposely! of his own volition!

and it also shows in how they babygirlified him, even though mike doesn't act like or look like that at all in the show, nor has he ever been described that way by anyone, whether in-universe or by the people that bring him to life.

And Don't Even Get Me Started On Will. Zon't.........

they had to recreate these new characters with mike and will's names and faces, because they didn't like what was on the screen. simple as that. but will they ever admit it? lmao.

as a fan of the show, and a fan of these characters and the stories they're representing, it's really weird to witness. there has been a distinct shift in the way in-fandom bylers talk about byler and the show and it started post-s2 when things started happening that they felt they had to correct. if they want to engage with the material in a way that best suits their tastes, fine. whatever. literally everyone does that. but to insist that the things that they say that go directly against canon or don't even exist within it .... are canon? and that everyone else using direct lines from the text are the ones projecting or twisting it or otherwise not appreciating the material? i have to laugh.

it's the same with other serious criticisms. if they can't create something to justify it, then they just brush you off as a hater because that's easier than acknowledging that maybe their precious bloated ensemble show isn't entirely perfect.

[chevelleneech]

Its like watching Bambi trying to walk, you are nearly there and getting the point but your stubbornness/reluctance/blindness/lack of life experience maybe? keeps you from clearly making it.

Here is the thing, they could not travel without gaining a permit to travel overseas so close to enlistment, meaning Jimin could not have gone to NY to be with JK without work. It is likely they could have gone to Jeju, but again not Japan, especially not that close to enlistment. They had a chicken and egg situation going on. Hence the travel show. What came first we do not know but it is a simple fact that it had to be work for them to be able to travel. The show itself is for them, but is also to showcase their bond, now that it is over that should be clear for everyone. This is not a bros trip - I actually expected them to do it (how I don't know - well, apart from the car talk scene where they tried to bro out the reason for the show/travel but that lasted about half a day if that) but it went downhill fast, even with Tae there as uninvited guest (as in not planned in) you could see it. You cannot hide that level of intimacy, from yourselves or others, nor should they actually have to. They said it themselves on the boat in CT, they felt free (and yes despite the camera, which they were used to at that point and also in their lives in general for years, we have to remember that). This was a pivotal time for them, the show being quite groundbreaking in terms of BTS content really. They got to choose what they did, they had input (see Forbes article) and they loved it.

Absolutely this was for them, a way for them to travel, but also leaving something for us/Army to enjoy whilst they are away, killing two birds with one stone. The thing they are leaving for us being a deeper look into their bond, their relationship. This cannot be denied anymore, aside from them actually coming out and saying it, this is it. The show and the enlistment. Which, notably, we did not get an explanation for, which I think speaks volumes as to how much it meant to them, again they did not bro it out, simply told us/via Tae that they were going together. Its all we got in mmm2 as well when Jimin told Joon. We obviously knew they enlisted together but I am so glad we did not get an explanation, that is private. That shit means something to them that we are not privy to.

Which is another thing I think we forget, but from a tweet I saw the other day which is Jimin all over.

He is a quintessential idol, his persona has and does matter to him. he has it down to a fine art, let them in just enough that they think they know you, but really they don't, it is just the surface, 1% of his life/their life, that we know, and are able to see, and its genius. I cannot believe having lived through the show that people (like yourself are waiting around for a full explanation of everything. Its hilarious.

You ain't ever going to get it, its elusive. Its their private life and we aren't in on it. What we do get to see though is this peek into their bond at a still safe enough distance that it is deniable, its clever and well thought out and, well edited. The statement JK makes about them being worried whilst filming and the crew affirming that and saying they were too, speaks to that. Some things were left in, just enough, to give us a wider glimpse, to coo over and love, but still from a safe place. And that is a beautiful thing.

From the glimpse we have seen their bond like never before. We knew it was there or most of us wouldn't be in this space (aside from you, goodness only knows given your stance on things where you were coming from on this but most of us knew and protected it, defended it from others, admired it from afar for years. To see it though on this scale, this much content is so heartwarming and I for one feel privileged to see it. Their-beautiful love, honestly, we should respect it wholeheartedly, they deserve that from us. They have been so vulnerable and brave in a huge way with this show, I have no doubt in my mind that Jimin would have been worried about the reception of this, so we need to honour them by seeing them.

After years and years of seeing them being together back stage (and being told about that), them rehearsing together after hours, being told about them being in each other's hotel rooms (from their own mouths, and others), rose bowl, hickey gate, MAMA 2018, GCFT, they lived together and that was protected by K Army for years during the pandemic, LETTER, Seoul Final 2019, the bridal carry at PTD LV, the JM tattoo (and please, anyone naive enough to think that is not for Jimin is a fool), the book and their GCFT being under the chapter heading real love', the intimacy of the doc when JK went over to cook for JM and be with him whilst he was sharing his story (the only pair off in the doc), bv3 was a whole ass honeymoon (it ran so AYS could run), etc etc (and these are the LOUD moments), the sensible ones, we knew they were together, but to actually see it in such an intimate form in AYS is special, and we should respect it as I said above. Stop speculating, stop making up lies and bits in between.

Just simply respect them. It's the least they deserve.

Once again the high and mighty fail the comprehension course, and instead choose to be combative and pretend like they know it all.

Meanwhile, my post is about how the eighth episode feels the most blatant about AYS not being platonic. Just because you and I, anon, think Jimin and JK are a couple, doesn’t mean everyone else on the planet agrees. Therefore, trying to view how the show would look from that perspective is fine. That doesn’t equal disrespect, and is why I said in the post (which I must assume you didn’t read fully, and instead saw one or two words you disagreed with and came ranting) nothing about the series makes sense if they are strictly just friends. Seeing as just friends aren’t likely to release a travel series they had to get around red tape to film, and have it be about nothing, more or less, yet include them constantly cuddled up and giggling at each other.

Meaning, you are arguing in defense of nothing.

[laughing-drawing-aces]

I also love Hopper and El. He obviously cares for her, but the way he treats her sometimes is just questionable. I understand it's part of his learning to be more open, but god, that s2 fight was something. He also didn't even apologize after. He waited till the end, and thus, El ran away. In s3, he threatened a 13 year old child with violence, even though he had this talk with Joyce scenes prior to that. It's just too much. I see that he loves El, but he's in no way best dad of the entire show. El is a traumatised child, she needs someone who can regulate their temper better so they don't constantly trigger her ptsd. Like her whole life she was surrounded by violence, she needs someone who understands that. And if he gets to be the father figure for the Byers siblings? Both of those boys are sensitive as well, their dad is violent. Hoppers angry outbursts could potentially be triggering for them as well. (Not to mention Joyce.) Obviously I still love them it's an interesting dynamic but Hopper isn't the amazing dad the fandom makes him out to be. I still hope he grows so he can be emotionally there for the people around him

Ted, on the other hand, seems to not care, but I truly think that's false. Just because he isn't involved with the UD, he still shows up. He's there at the end in s1 talking to the medics to make sure Mike is okay. He wanted to talk to him earlier when Will was found dead, but Karen stopped him. Yes, he makes comments that indicate ignorance, but I don't doubt he doesn't love his kids or that he doesn't care what they are up to. The other parents also have no clue where their kids are for the majority of time, nor seem they to be worried that much. I think his treatment of Holly in s3 shows he loves his kids, like him cuddling her is the reason why Karen stops sleeping with a teenager. So yeah, both Ted and Hopper care in their ways but can't show it properly. I know their behavior is greatly attributed to the 80s idea of what a family man should be, meaning the breadwinner and not seen as weak and emotional. I think neither El or the Wheeler siblings feel comfortable going to their dad for (relationship) advice. Hopper would yell and Ted would redirect it to Karen.

But then we have the Sinclairs, Lucas's father is goals you can clearly tell by the way Lucas handles conflict his dad is amazing. Or Bob, who was patient and kind towards Will and Jonathan. Who made sure that both kids were comfortable. But he was "too boring" I guess, I still stand by the fact that he should have been with Joyce over Hopper.

YES!! okay i agree with you a lot on this so honestly gonna make this as sweet as possible lol cuz i don’t want to keep just repeating what you said. that fight in season 2 is absolutely awful to witness especially because of what he says like you said he didn’t even say sorry to her which i know the UD stuff was happening but also like he should have said sorry and tried more even before all this stuff happened! like el legit had to leave in order for hopper to say even remotely much of anything (also it took him to the point of dying honestly for him to actually apologize). and yes like you said he is in no way the best dad ever! honestly i think el and hopper’s bond is so interesting when you admit this and how hopper does have anger issues which unfortunately strains the dynamic. okay yes yes yes yes!! el has been surrounded by anger all her life and she needs someone who isn’t angry! honestly i know it’s cute to have hopper as this father figure for the boys but like idk i’ve never truly saw that as hopper and the byers kid’s dynamic. and okay but yes exactly what you said about joyce! the byers would get triggered about this all and idk a lot of people kind of just forget about this

honestly ted gets a lot of hate for no reason. especially with what you brought up like he does love his kids and he does try to be there for them. also like he does what he also thinks is best for the kids which unfortunately is to just let them have time and space to feel what they need to. this comes out a lot more worse to people in the fandom and sure it’s flawed but he is no where near this horrible dad that everyone claims he is. YES ABOUT THOSE LAST FEW SENTENCES IN THAT SECOND PARAGRAPH!

yes yes yes this! honestly i’ve always loved joyce and bob way more than hopper and joyce. also good with i loved bob’s dynamics with the boys far more than hopper and the boys. also this is soo funny cuz i swore that this was gonna be short yet it’s not ooooff

[strongfuck]

Sleeping at Last - Saturn, Venus, and 9

first of all you are so evil for suggesting sleeping at last to me, every single song i have heard from them has always driven me to misery (i don't actually think you're evil, i'm just IN PAIN OVER RHYS FEELINGS)

Who am I to say what any of this means I have been sleepwalking Since I was fourteen now as I write my song I retrace my steps honestly, it’s easier To let myself forget Still, I check my vital signs Choked up, I realize I’ve been less than half myself For more than half my life

Nine is making me go insane thinking about how Rhys felt he HAD to succeed at Hyperion or else he'd have wasted whole years of his life being there

So show me what to do To restart this heart of mine How do I forgive myself For losing so much time?

and how after the events of tftbl he tries to be more of himself. sure, he's never ENTIRELY himself 24/7-- but what is a sense of self, anyway? and how do you know that you're always true?-- but he's certainly more than he was when he was at hyperion. he gets to pursue his own interests. he gets to do good with tech just like he's wanted

To know and love ourselves and others well Is the most difficult and meaningful Work we’ll ever do

and considering he takes the time to get to know the people of promethea in canon-- the ordinary people that he chooses to protect, btw-- he's so aware that there are humans around him. that they aren't just population numbers. and as he gets to be more "rhys-like" in his everyday and starts to feel more comfortable in his skin, he feels genuine affection and duty for the people he's decided to dedicate himself to. man is literally the only CEO ever to choose protecting his company and his planet over seeking out a vault in the vault-obsessed borderlands, and i think that's significant

I couldn't help but ask for you to say it all again I tried to write it down, but I could never find a pen I'd give anything to hear you say it one more time That the universe was made just to be seen by my eyes

also GOD Saturn makes me think about Rhys missing his friends-- his friends who gave him the tools to realise he has worth outside being a hyperion stooge-- and how alone he is now as Atlas' CEO, because nobody around him knows him as Just Rhys any more, nor are they really interested in the "man behind the moustache", so to speak

With shortness of breath I'll try to explain the infinite And how rare and beautiful it is to even exist

and like-- the fact that he's dedicated himself to making a planet better? he fucking revived a planet that was worse than pandora and turned it into "the most advanced planet in the galaxy" in FIVE YEARS. he opened a vault and not only made atlas thrive with it, but also poured it back into the planet that atlas had forsaken. COME ON

I was a billion little pieces 'Til you pulled me into focus Astronomy in reverse It was me who was discovered

and VENUS, oh my GOD, this is rhys falling in love and i'm never going to forgive you for making me think about this in context of him. my tears are watering as i'm writing this even, lmao. there's something so innocent about love grounding him; rhys spends so much time with his head in the stars, thinking about the future and how to make things better for others, that taking a moment to stop and just... consider his own happiness? to consider the happiness given to him by another? is so quiet and gentle, every time

thanks anon. shit hurts

[theflagscene]

Last Line Tag Game

I was tagged by @tazzy-ace

Rules: share the last line you wrote, tag some people and have fun

I haven’t been writing much, mental and physical issues have made it damn near impossible to do much of anything really. But I do on occasion manage to open up my google docs and get some things done, it’s slow going but it’s there. It should be of no surprise that the last thing I was adding to was chapter six of DIECYM?

Oh yeah, that thing isn’t abandoned. I will finish that fic even if it kills me!

Also this is a bit more than just the last line, because I feel like the people who have been waiting for nearly a year for this chapter deserve a bit more than just a single line 🤟

“Shit, sorry!” A familiar voice sounded, Yok freezing instantly as he stared into Wat’s kind and excited eyes. “A lot of people here.” Wat said as he gave a quick apologetic wai before he bent down to pick up the water bottles he had dropped, not really paying too close attention to Yok and Ayan as he chattered about the fact that he had never been at a rally before, his usual quick way of talking making Yok feel like he had just traveled back in time six years and was in his dorm room again, listening to Wat talk about weird foreign movies that neither he nor Kan had seen or ever would see.

“It’s fine.” Yok said, surprising even himself. Ayan looked at him in awe, he had fully expected Yok to brush off the sudden meeting until he was more prepared. Instead, there he was, laying out his cards right away.

Wat paused as he stood, slowing his movements, like he wasn’t sure if he had just heard what he had heard. “What?”

“I said, it’s fine, Ai’Wat.” Yok said slightly louder, since it wasn’t exactly easy to hear over the din of the crowd and the muffling of their masks, even when standing as close as they currently were.

Okay, I honestly have no idea who to tag. I’ve been out of the fanfic writing and posting loop for so long, I don’t know who is still active and who isn’t.

So if you write and would like to take part, consider this your tag. Tag you’re it! And don’t forget to @ me when you do so I can check out your work 😉

[juszar2]

You can really throw your life away by forging ties with people who are less than you are. Less dignity, less boundaries, less or no healthy pride even a tinge. You can build and secure yourself for your entire adult life... Especially after understanding in adolescence that this is quite honestly a bit of a little cesspool. If you are not uncouth and seek to be anything that looks other than a carbon copy of.... Well, you are rare. If you abhor gossiping, vile mouth, arrested developments including actually getting arrested and you are just ahead of schedule with your growth and maturation, you are in danger just by the person you agree to let in your life. That one person can ruin your journey. The rot, well they stay up at night, have meetings and plan and plot on how to impede your life and make it anything like their trash. Those who make it out and away from that population do so by keeping a few good and unquestionably decent folks around them. To think you'd have a saboteur who emplored you to take the journey with him and then he opens his lid and shows that he is a porcelain toilet as unclean and lowly as they come. He would let your enemies seek you through him and take a shit on him. A public toilet... The gas station kind. Why would a homosexual rot enemy from my middle school who is a real rot trash...want to wipe it's ass with the same toilet paper that I wipe my ass with? It is so vile to have someone pursue you that way and so the shock is daily. These are the low life's I spent my life keeping all the way out of my life by whatever means. These kind are so sick and to say that they act as 14year olds is to give them too much credit. To think.. Me? I have this trash following my life? And this is a toilet and could not keep his low life-ted-ness hidden from the public? Liabilities like cowardice will not stay hidden. They have to let everyone know they are stupid, reckless, low, female-like running it's mouth, just whatever you could imagine of what is not a man. I used to see those types and think how vile... He is like a girl. I never knew that this one would be the worst I'd ever seen or imagined. I really thought he was nothing like what is revealed and it is gross. Feels like the trashiest especially given everything else that I overlooked and made excuses for. I am a person that it does not wane. When I think you are gross... You just are. I put each person in a category according to their deeds and once I see you... Well you need to provide evidence that you are not rot.

For me, I'll take a clean life with all rot please go play your set up games and all other trash that you are with those like you. Hit the club or whatever... Maybe the strip club and go find and play with those that sound and look just like you with a tat on their tit and all of the other sharpie drawings and all of it. The ones you can call "cool" those anything goes ones. Do not remember me. I am seeking to reach higher and I am interested in difficult endeavors that grow intellect and to find myself amongst those who have dignity, a little restraint and are decent, kind, and covet clean living. No prostitute advertisements speaking on what they don't like about me... Without me even knowing they were pining..Or trying to proposition a toilet or otherwise impede my effort. You are not welcome in my life please forget ya ever saw me. If you found out that this toilet is common and trash... I am not, and nothing I created is. At this age it is so bad because my plans to share my life with a man... I am not homosexual so a man with testosterone and some pride and protection is certainly what I could have found in one of the enumerable gentlemen that have approached me over the decades. So this would mean I ended up without a capable one for providing nor character... A detriment and the saboteur. But yes, the cowardice and lying and all of it matches that well. A good example of fraudulence that great people can look at and know it is possible for them to run into this in life. All of the details just show how low and gross. So bad I was cheated out of having a real man and biological father to my babies because I have never been into the one over here and one over there life. I understand it is life, but not what I was interested for myself. All of it I take responsibility for because I had no interest in this person and yet I let it choose me to display its lowliness ad ultimately ruin my journey with the worst situation of low and the absolute rot. Not affording me a beautiful sturdy life at all... Cannot even be trusted. And others in other states with their men and no rot seeking. Definitely I ruined it for myself and I do know. You need a person who equally would not show themselves low by dealing with rot that is your enemy. He is accessible and just a curse. He never said do not let me in your life.. I am a low life

[rainset]

Writing Journal

I keep thinking about it. That despite where I am, I cannot help see the glimmers of beauty to these flat lands.

Our skies yawn wide and we have some of the most gorgeous sun rises, but you can’t see over the trees. Not like that’s a bad thing. They droop with the weight of Spanish moss and their roots hold pools of brown muck with sprigs of velvet green.

In a way, you can never foresee just what’s ahead. You can try - go a hill and look out- but you’ll get disappointed. It’s as flat as the place behind you.

Planes hidden by forests and sparse openings or pitched up rows of farming lines in a single field.

Maybe if you go to the bay it’ll be different. Waters still brown and stilted but it’s there. It’s constantly wet her and honestly, we’re just at its mercy. If we had gods, it’d be the winds above and the ocean below, and our own hubris.

Our infrastructure is shit, and no- I’m not an expert. You can tell by how much our storms- frequent as they are- rips up at our poles, fences, and non-aboriginal trees.

Deep brown poles bowed over our cracked and sinking roads with no crowning, plus the brown stilt is gathering beyond the curb and down into the tracks.

If I could say we had a color wheel here- it’s a green that lays over brown and grey, with a sky that is more magnificent than I’ve seen in my small world. Even that, can just be covered by gloomy clouds and complimented by layers of humidity.

Highest you can go here is in down town’s glass towers and the disorganized web of a roadway that clips right next to them. Metropolis’ roads were more organized than ours- these sky roads twist and curl, unexpected merges that’d give you a heart attack when it suddenly appears on your right.

No place to walk, just kaki barriers, asphalt, or grey cracked up two way streets.

Still though, when it rains and- we hope to god it doesn’t take our houses- the grass is never greener nor their sibling trees. Leaves that become a deep velvet green or a bright nearly lime color. Being like lights over the diffused backdrop that makes both artificial and natural land scape.

The way that old yellow street lights hits flooded brown waters at night makes a gold shimmer right over top.

Or how our new LED lamps causes the perfect kind of lighting to get murdered in with how hard the shadows are now and how eerie from town to ‘burb.

I don’t love the politics of my home land, I want to leave even.

But I still enjoy the rain setting land scape upon our river no matter how brown. It’s sounds and a calm that takes over us all.

I don’t think I’ll ever feel as soothed as when I stepped onto wet rock after a rain, but it’s still over cast.

Trying to look over a drenched brick wall that won’t give a full photo of our ravine and the bridge where cars swerves on by.

Deep and pitted, spitting up catails, cutting through those damn golf courses that not even residence can walk on. The fuck is the point?

I guess I’ll miss home in that way. Despite coming into knowing and growing away from the things I was raised with,

I don’t think I can forget the picture of our red bricked house covered in ivy and obscure by a tree whose crown is too wide that it dips down on the sloping walkway up to the black front door of ornate glass design. With an always occupied drive way to the right and a grey old fence.

Our island mailbox just right across a minute walk, and constantly has a blossoming pink cherry tree- or crate myrtle? Hard to tell, has smooth bark that’s a nice light brown.

I won’t forget the flood touching the toes of our door and watching how the spittle of tiny droplets was what were mercy too.

Glowing golden on those temporary shores right at the foot of our door.

That’s the beauty of home by the river I suppose.

[lololollywrites]

This is so, so, so fucking true. It's sickening. I don’t follow football at all, but I’ve had a really hard time seeing videos of this pop up unexpectedly on my feed. It’s so hard to watch, and I think I did see Damar’s brother request that the video be taken down of the actual incident. I can’t even imagine. The humanity of sports shouldn’t be lost; the people behind team colors, jerseys, and sponsorships. What I do know a lot about is gymnastics, and since Simone Biles was mentioned, I want to comment further on her situation.

What people who don't follow gymnastics never fully understood about Simone Biles’ break in Tokyo is that it wasn't just that she was stressed and that she was trying to prioritize her mental health. Would that have been enough and 10000% justifiable and sufficient? OF COURSE. And I ADORE people who never asked any more questions than that. None were needed. But what that level of stress had caused with Simone was something called "the twisties" in gymnastics. This means that gymnasts get mentally lost in the air while flipping and twisting and literally cannot complete the skill; they bail early. No big deal, right? Wrong. They also have no way of guaranteeing they won't land on their head or neck. They're so mentally lost that their innate muscle memory goes out the window. 

The twisties are temporary - something similar happens in all sports, and is called "the yips" - but in gymnastics, it can be dangerous and even deadly. I used to take gymnastics (I was never good at all) but I have followed the sport for years, and Simone is - no contest - the greatest gymnast of all time, male or female, from any country. The sport is subjective in that there are elements of beauty and artistry involved, but even those who don’t personally love her gymnastics style don’t deny that she’s the GOAT. The fact that people who never watch gymnastics on any other occasion shouted at her from their couches to perform to their specifications (suddenly caring about gymnastics, despite not knowing the scoring rules nor being able to name any of the elements or skills) - for her country, for her team, for their entertainment - when she had already done SO MUCH (and when, don't forget, gymnasts aren't paid the millions of NFL athletes unless they make it to the Olympics, accept sponsorships, and therefore forfeit their right to compete in NCAA) made me sick. 

I respected Simone so much for not getting into the specifics of the twisties in every interview - mental health is enough and should always be, and she didn’t owe any people complaining an explanation - but I wanted to throw in their faces anyway just how ridiculous they were being. Do they have ANY IDEA how difficult (and dangerous) gymnastics is? That Olympic-level gymnastics takes at least 10 years of training at 6-8 hours a day, untold sacrifice, and countless injuries, at an age that means you’re putting a young body and mind through torment and pain? Do they think she just... didn’t feel like competing? After all that hard work? Honestly. People are so fucking stupid.

Simone tried. She did. There are videos of her training a day or two before she pulled out of competition; she fell on a dismount from bars that I’d never, ever seen her fall from. Not competing DID prioritize her team’s chances, if that’s all these stupid people care about, but it also prioritized her personal safety. She came back to compete in the balance beam event finals, and - while her performance was enough for a bronze medal - those of us who knew her abilities could see that she was off, almost dangerously so. They’d all be singing a different tune if Simone were their daughter. Or sister. Or friend. It’s that same old tired Conservative argument: They don’t care about other people until they’re suddenly forced to. They care about establishments and traditions. Like the NFL. Like Olympic gold medals. Concepts over humanity. And also, as I believe Simone mentioned, she’d been dominating the sport for YEARS. She won every competition she entered. Won almost every possible gold medal. Allowing someone else to compete in her stead that wouldn’t have otherwise been able to should be something beautiful and celebrated, and it WAS for the team. They came together to WIN A TEAM SILVER. Without the star everyone expected would carry them. That’s HUGE. And this WIN was overshadowed by people whining about Simone letting her team down somehow. Caring only about medal results is so... utilitarian. And so, so against what sports should be. 

Gymnasts have been paralyzed during competition - at the 1998 Goodwill Games, 17-year-old Chinese gymnast Sang Lan fell during vault warm ups and broke her neck. She remains confined to a wheelchair to this day and later sued the organizers of the event, citing poor organization; she was allowed to vault when another coach was removing a mat, leading to distraction. The event moved forward after her catastrophic fall, despite the other gymnasts witnessing this event and being visibly upset by it. Many of them knew each other, even those from other countries. In 1988, Julissa Gomez, an American gymnast once coached by the infamous (and highly controversial and abusive) Bela Karolyi, was paralyzed during vault warm ups at the World Sports Fair in Japan. She died three years later at only 18 years old. Her mother blamed abusive coaching techniques, as she thought the Yurchenko-entry vault Julissa was made to perform was dangerous and that Julissa wasn’t ready (at the time, it was a fairly new and high-level vault, especially before the wider modern vaulting table); she said that Julissa’s subsequent coach after Karolyi, Al Fong, was also to blame for her teammate Christy Heinrich’s eating disorder and that he made her “skin crawl”. In 1980, Soviet gymnast Yelena Mukhina fell after under-rotating a tumbling pass called the Thomas salto (now banned), landing on her chin. This left her as a quadriplegic, and she passed away in 2006 due to health complications. 

The Thomas salto, as I said, has since been banned for its inherent danger; other rules, such as the increased age limit at the Olympics and a different vaulting table, have been instated to help keep gymnasts safe, but injuries abound in the sport. Simone had reason to worry for her safety in Tokyo when she found herself with the twisties, as she performs tumbling passes and dismounts LITERALLY NO ONE ELSE IN THE WORLD HAS EVER DONE and maybe will EVER do. Though Yelena Mukhina was reclusive after her devastating accident, she did have this to say (according to ighof.com): “She criticized the Soviet gymnastics program for deceiving the public and for their insatiable desire for gold medals at all costs.”

So yeah. I don’t know what it will take for changes to be made or for people to stop blaming literally everything EXCEPT for the actual problem, which I guess is the inherent capitalistic tie to sports, but something needs to change. Quickly.

they need to stop this NFL season now i am not joking or being facetious they need to reevaluate how football is played fundamentally and it should have happened after Tua earlier this season

[sarahdogoc80]

I do plan on making a longer post about addiction specifically in late 90's till the opiate crisis in 2015 and how doctors, business and money led to the epidemic/ tragedy. And what it was like on the ground floor rather then just hearing about it form the news/ propaganda but it will take me a few days to get everything in order.

But because Lily is stupid here is a quick note. Weed can't kill you like say heroin or meth can. Say if you have asthma and smoke it and die of an asthma attack. You can't blame weed specifically because the smoke and your medical condition is what did it. Any smoke would have set off your asthma so it can't be blamed on weed specifically. Especially because you don't even have to smoke weed anymore you can ingest it through gummies, candy, or any bake good that requires butter. And if they'd had done it that way they would most likely be fine.

The way heroin kills you is because it's a depressant which means it slows down the body. And what happens when you OD your brain just doesn't remember to breathe/ perform it's basic functions. Weed isn't strong enough to do this in really any form. Unless her uncle was part of some super experiment run by the CIA to get him higher then he's ever been. Then a human just can't consume the amount of weed to kill you by themselves. Your body breaks weed down decently fast. Another less common way opiates kill is by over loading the kidneys and liver causing those to shut down. Thought this death usually takes years to build up to and your more likely to die from the first way. Alcohol, Xanax, and other downer usually also kill you by making you forget to breath or overloading a vital an organ.

The other way drugs kills is the speeders. Which weed definitely isn't but for arguments sake speed kills you usually by rupturing your heart or putting you in cardiac arrest. It's not at all a painless or quite death if your around other people and dying of a speeder over does is pretty painful from what I've heard.

Then there is other drugs like psychedelics I guess. But I've never heard of someone dying of that. Honestly I've never even seen a claim of that. But while I'm sure there is a way it's not at all common knowledge. Nor do I know how you could. My grandpa used to say it has it's limits to how well it can work then hits a wall and can't do anything else. Plus if you wanted to eat like 5 lb of magic mushrooms good luck with that. They taste like literal cow shit and if there is too much your body will just make you throw it up.

Also just as another side note I grew up with a hippie grandfather and stoner grandmother and stoner parents and non of them have died from weed dispite some of them smoking for longer then Lily has even been a twinkle in her daddy's eye. And if you have beef with a stoner Lily then that is literally on you. They usually don't want negative people around who makes them feel like shit because they are smoking weed. They usually just want to hang.

Edit: the Adderall Lily takes even as percriped is more unhealthy then weed. They had to start testing my brother's heart and a couple other organs because Adderall has a risk of damaging organs even if taken as percriped. If you've been taking it for years you should know this. Unless you just didn't listen to your doctor and just smiled and said "yeah totally" till they give you your script.

If Lily went to collage (especially for a therapy degree) she should also understand addiction and why just telling them to stop. Then blaming them when they don't is exactly how the company that owed Oxycodine tried to weasel out of the lawsuits. So atleast Lily is consistent with bootlicking as long as she benefits from it.

Good to see you're not hiding just how much of a cruel, callous, ignorant, lying piece of shit you are these days, Lily.

"I look down on junkies. I have no sympathy for them." Way to display you have no fucking understanding of why or how drug addictions even start, you rancid bitch.

"Weed killed my uncle" so now we're just outright peddling reefer-madness era bullshit. It's impossible to OD on weed. Whatever happened to your uncle had nothing to do with fuckin weed.

The reason you haven't met any of the majority of normal ass chill weed users is because your vibes are a black hole and nobody wants to be around that when they're trying to chill out and relax.

[laughing-drawing-aces]

Sometimes, I think I'm too harsh on Nancy and maybe sometimes I am. I feel bad for disliking her, but on rewatching the show, it's more that it's painful for me to watch her because the narrative entirely works in her favor past season 1. And I don't mind that she does bad things! Before they never addressed Nancy cheating in the show, her cheating made me upset, but on the behalf of Steve! Like I was judging her for doing it, but if they showed her having regrets, saying to Steve, I would have been fine because she knows it is wrong! Like anything showing the impact of her cheating! Like it damaging her relationship with her brother's friends, or like anything! But no, she gets to skip her merrily way with the guy she wants and nothing changes! [Like it's a bit extreme, but when Nancy chooses her boyfriend over her friend, she experiences the consequence of Barb going missing! Again this is an extreme example (but it's like one of the only ones where Nancy faces consequences), but she does something unideal and it has an effect and consequences!]

Like my issue with Nancy isn't that she does bad things! Characters can do bad things and I'll still like and even love them for it! (Ahem - Merlin, my beloved) My issue is that the show never addresses the bad things that she does and even spins it to a positive light! Like we're supposed to see her getting the information from Wayne as smart and clever! But it's just pure manipulation! And like the stories she's investigating - the ones we see her doing - she gets little to none of the information ethically! Like most of her investigations are founded on lies to the first person witnesses to make them tell her stuff! Like how is this a good thing? And the narrative doesn't address it at all!

I constantly wonder how Nancy could become more likable to me, and it mostly comes down to a single point, Consequences. She needs to face them. She does something wrong - she faces the consequences for it. She lies to people to get information, she loses their trust and when she needs something from them, they don't give her the time of day. Like something. I brought up how season 3 could work so much more in Nancy's character arc that she needs if they had the journalists treat her well and not be sexist and have her pursue the Driscolls case and be fired and it reflects way differently because she can't blame it in them, it's on her. And she can't deny it.

(Also, it still Nancy's fault in the show but she can blame her bosses because they're being sexist assholes. She doesn't have to take responsibility. Karen tells her to continue pursuing that story, but it takes away the responsibility of her getting them fired and part of growing up is learning to take responsibility for things you did wrong and it would have been so great for Nancy to learn this from her mom, like part of growing up and not being seen like a child is learning to take responsibility and grow from your mistakes Nancy. But the world is tough etc.)

Also the musical went well! Thanks for asking! (I meant to respond to this a while ago but I kept forgetting!) It was so fun to do backstage crew again and I was so happy doing it!

Honestly at least you also know why you are harsh on her. And yeah i really don't think much about nancy honestly like she's really not a character that i think much about but i have the same problem that you have. Like the narrative is always in her favor honestly and also she just doesn't admit when she's wrong or acknowledge it fully. As you said : i don't care that she does bad things! because fr she wouldn't be a character if she was fully perfect and yeah same i was upset on steve's half about the cheating and how she treated him. but also i'm not going to fully hold it against her: you can admit that a character did someone wrong in canon without hating them. but yeah it bothers me too how they just don't acknowledge that she does bad things - nor do thy ever bring it up. their breeakup ended with just an okay and while that's interesting to look at i alos don't think that the duffers fully realized what it meant for said characters and arcs.

yeah like nancy can manipulate things but somehow we're supposed to see it as good. The thing is - is that in the right or diferrent genre hands this could be so interesting. Like the narrative sees these traits as good but ultimately tehy end up being the downfall of a character (i didn't word that the best but anyway hopefully you get what i mean) yes i agree about the consequences part! because like she does need to face them or wake up and see that she's just making her own doom. idk if that would make her more likeable to her but i would so be interested in that aspect of nancy realizing too late that she created her own downfall. also everytin you said in the third and fourth paragraphs like i agree whole heartedly. i don't have much to add because you are spot on.

I am so glad that the musical went well!!! :) YAY i really am so happy that you worked backstage and had fun doing it :) <3

also i still have that long anaylisis to answer and i just wanted to let you know that i will answer it tomorrow.. it's like still sort of early but i wanted to go to bed early tonight and i'm really sleepy and my brain isn't functioning the best for that ask so just wanteed to let you know that i will get to it dont worry!