#i will def be posting the final draft on ao3!

[icannotgetoverbirds]

me to myself: i can't just write the same tropes over and over again, it'll get monotonous and annoying-

my brain: okay but have you considered when the person who takes care of everyone else is forced to accept care from their loved ones?

me: THE CARETAKER IS CARED FOR BY THEIR LOVE(S) OUAGHOUAH

[thatdeadaquarius]

THE SAGAU FANFIC ONE-SHOT WINNER IS...

🎊🎉🌿Eldritch! Reader AU🌿🎉🎊

Just a small annoucement for the winner, though I'm sure we all saw the results lol

Have a snippet, hope you enjoy!

*disclaimer: subject to change, this is a draft, no finalized version yet.

At least, you were pretty sure of where you were now. But that didn't mean it made any more sense. You hadn't recognized it at first, but the Irminsul was unmistakable after a minute of looking at it and the surrounding blue. The lights were incredible, with sparkles and stars floating up from the ground. Strange, nearly mechanical patterns flared out from its branches. The only difference between the Irminsul in-game versus the real one you see now is the rapid swelling and filling out of its trunk. As you had woken up more and more, ignoring the strange state of your body for now, it had let out weirdly nostalgic noises. Like a computer booting up, and a million other digital pings or tunes as it grew. As you tentatively reach a hand out to touch the trunk, a familiar book materializes. The dark blue pages flip to the first page instead of to the middle of the book. ...isn't this usually the really obscure "Archives" animation from the Paimon settings page? What's it doing here?? In gold writing that hovers slightly above the pages, your (presumed) stats display. The eerily familiar Genshin Impact font rapidly types itself out from left to right. /gamemode: admin *Executing... *Executing... *Loading... *Loading... *... *...Success! *Your gamemode has been changed. " Player." [ADMIN.] EXP: 1000000#%$+??? DEF: ?%@****+~?? ATTK: ??*!!%^<=+? POWERS: - ??";*&%[]\/%? - &%#@?<_++}] - ~`*(-_+}|\\!!??^& ...you decide to stop looking at your... stats, for now. Because more importantly, as you pull your hand back from the book (letting it float in place in front of the Irminsul trunk again), you notice something even more off. Your hand. It's... wrong. As you trail your eyes up your arm, you choke back a sense of panic. Sure enough, when you bring the right arm over to poke and try to smear the seemingly black paint that drenches your left arm, it too is covered in black. Your arms are pitch black. And as you attempt to touch your forearm for more answers, only to phase through it... you begin to think maybe this is not, in fact, paint. And as you realize you are hovering, instead of standing in place, you begin to think this is, in fact, the very real world of Genshin Impact. ...you decide to lay back down on the weird blue ground (?) and take a nap.

Maybe start today over.

☆

I'll be working on asks in the mean time!

But this'll be higher priority/posted soon bc I'm worried I'll forget abt it otherwise lmao

Idk if anybody cares that much, but I'll go ahead and ask just in case:

I hope you guys are having a great week, wherever you may be!

Safe Travels,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr

@yomilyy / @0rah-s / @idontknowwhatimdoingbutweball / @blackstar-gazer

(^^^ dw you'll still get tagged when the actual piece is out! :)

[findafight]

Nebs' Stranger Things Fic Masterlist

I'm finally making a masterlist for my fics/headcanons! hazzah! with brief descriptions) Compiling this I have realized I have written a LOT of stuff?? holy doodles. tumblr fics under the readmore (eventually I'll put them on ao3)

My Writing tag: Finda writes stuff

Ao3 Fics

Robin and Steve's Epic Platonic Soulmate Mixtape WIP. Robin and Steve become friends just after s1, friendship shenanigans as wells as Upside Down s2 (so far) ensues. RaSEPSM tag

Tennessee Ham and Strawberry Jam Complete. Sue Sinclair and Claudia Henderson childhood best friends + Goodbye Earl fic. Standalone but in same series/universe as RaSEPSM

You Don't Fool Me Complete. Steddie, Steve thinks they're dating, Eddie is a bit confused.

Visions of the Things to Be Complete Steddie. Eddie loves M*A*S*H. turns out, Steve also loves it. Eddie's a bit pissed about that.

Starfish on the Beach WIP platonic stobin, steddie. Steve dies instead of Eddie s5 fic, based on my own post

Tumblr Fics

Steddie Focused fics

Stobjargyle and Corroded Coffin au (tag)

Steve's mixtape of government banned songs

Demiro Steve

Addams!Steve (I will def continue this one of these days)

Rockstar Eddie and ~homosexual~ rumours

Human Steve and Spn Human Steve (tags)

Miraculous Au (tag)

Eddie Tweets AU (tag, only one post but will have more)

Baby Eddies checklist to get steve to fall in love with him

BNF Steve ramble

Stobin Focused Fics

Studio Era stobin lavender marraige au (lavender's blue au tag )

Upsidedown death Timetravel au (eventually will continue)

demiromantic steve

QPR stobin in their 40's

Best Hugs

Swimmer Steve au (tag) (possibly stonathan? idk yet tho)

Pjo au (tag)

Post Starcourt haha

Venom!Stobin (tag)

Steve is Seven au

Stobin post order66 au original post (that I'll eventually expand) Dustin realizes Robin and Steve are jedi. Stobin help train Dustin and Eddie is here now

Telepathic Stobin concept

Soulmate Words au snippet

Dream team Steve au prologue p1 (Steve is drafted to the NBA fic with qpr lavender marriage stobin

Misc posts

Steve dragging everyone's taste

Gay Jonathan Byers

Big Brother Steve (tag) original post

He picked up the bat

unrequited Byler p1 (part 2 eventually)

Erica Sinclair post StarCourt

Afterschool care steve

One sided ronance (for Nancy)

Steve doesn't want to be his mum

Bad timeline no Upside Down stancy

[fumifooms]

Do you know about the Marchil h-doujin, just called "Marchil Meshi"? (Dunno wether you're comfortable about adult content regarding the ship. If not, sorry and feel free to ignore).

Imagine my surprise… When a few months ago, I was looking up places to buy doujins for dunmeshi online bc of that new-ish laimar (sfw) doujin and I find, many many nsfw ones bUT AMONGST THE HORDE… MARCHIL MESHI. I ate it up. It’s a lil iconic to me ngl, I quote it in my head sometimes. Marcille angrily gesturing always gets me cackling. It honestly has no business being this good, it was made pretty early on in the story so many years ago, and STILL! So in character, and honestly so funny, AND no weird business either. Like listen, I scour the internet, looking for any marchil content, any marchil content at all… And find a dry af desert, no life here, literally jackshit nothing. Only Pixiv has some afaik but the nsfw is def… Hm. 😔 (2 fics tagged chirumaru on there btw!! That aren’t mine lol) Thank you marchil meshi author if I had to pick 1 piece of marchil nsfw to exist I’d choose this one (honestly that’s already so close to reality lol) Thank u Asaki Takayuki I owe u my life. I like zines but I’ve never bought doujins before so it didn’t cross my mind, but dunmeshi is taking a lot of my first times in fandom engagement and I bought said laimar doujin just the other day hehe 

I do want to keep my blog generally sfw but yes I’m 100% cheering on nsfw marchil content from the shadows, glad that ao3’s finally getting some too. I hope that fic writer makes more… Tallman Chil is so so good but I hope they also do some more general premises, which the end notes on that one do make me hopeful 👀 I want more marchil writers in general. More marchil fanartists. Sfw nsfw idk I need to be fed 😭 (<- This post was drafted before that new marchil smut fic WOOHOO. So much new marchil content this week!!)

Oh while I’m here, I find this so funny/odd, but in japanese fandom ship names are simply the beginning of each name smushed together, like marchil or chilmar. The order of the names is that the first one is the "top"… Idk how jp fandoms live without switches but aight, but in m/f ships this means that typically the man is the first half of the ship name right. WELL WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT marchil is so much more used than chilmar lmaoo. Even more stats: On Pixiv, the tag marchil had all the artworks, but the chilmar tag had all the fics. Ain’t that wack to think about. Anyways marchil or chilmar idc you go guys

Sighh thinking about them. They are so "I beg your pardon??!" "Then beg", "Fuck you!" "Fuck me yourself you coward"… Forget stamens and pistils, Chil is the cursed "You see, there are keys and there are locks…"

More under cut since I don’t get to talk about this often, screenshots and hcs for horny time

^ said panel that lives rent free in my head and makes me giggle. I wish I’d just put the whole page here it’s my fave but nahh go find it yourself

Why are they like this. Like what is thatttt

I need to stop collecting these I’m making myself feel insane (thank you fic writer for that last one I’d never noticed but omg)

Alright hc time what was I gonna talk about… Ah yes ah yes. I def think Chil is a pest, he’s horny and he wants sex and is flagrant about it, but also we know that he stayed faithful for 4 years without getting any, I feel like realistically the relationship sex wise would 100% be on Marcille’s pace. And this is the fun part, bc would Marcille be very eager? Would she want to do the romance book correct™️ route and that means no tapping until marriage, or he needs to court her all princely first? I hc that elves have a much lower libido than humans because of the whole long af lifespan thing, it’d be kinda funny if Marcille was like "Let’s take things slow… 🥺" aka first base achieved after two years of being together lol

But seee that’s the thing too bc Marcille is so afraid of loss she might rush through things as well, she very well could like, jump on him right after confessing. Is Chilchuck kind of a shithead or is he very gentlemanly and romantic, wanting to do it right and treat her well? They are such a blank canvas of sexual chemistry listen LISTENNN there are just so so many ways you can go with them they are so special. God the banter… They cannot stop bantering for a second I swear So many kinks they could fit… I like uhh praise kink for him and for her… Idk she just really loves him and the emotional adoration is what’s at the core of her enjoying it all so like, loving Chilchuck kink, which turns out those two really match together 🫶 He makes her sing and ummm um you see where this goes. They are so grossly in love and into each other

They are so domestic. I hate them

[diudiudiu]

the nature of idiosyncrasies minor edits

just an fyi that i'm finally taking some time to go through and edit the nature of idiosyncrasies (grammar, punctuation, phrasing etc, nothing will change with the plot)

it'll be a gradual process so apologies if you notice any inconsistencies while i do this

tnoi was the first ff i posted on ao3 and looking back, i feel like a lot of it was me figuring out just how to write (particularly with the first 3 chaps 😅)

it took me a while to consider whether i wanted to spend time doing this or not, because while i do acknowledge that my writing style has changed (yay for growth, ig?) and i should prob leave some things be, there's def a few things in tnoi that i personally find glaringly...annoying ☠️

it's also a chance for me to fix the typos i know are there but never got around to doing so before (and i hope re-reading will help me shift the half-written draft of the sequel i have sitting around in my gdocs for over a year 👀)

the original ver (if for whatever reason anyone wants it) can be found here

ty and much ❤️ to everyone who's taken the time to read tnoi (or my other fics) 😊 your comments and messages have given me the encouragement and motivation to continue writing 🫶

[starlightkun]

genuine question, how do you write so fast? 😭 i feel like you’re so quick with your works, both writing and putting them out!!

also i found your tumblr on ao3 and i have to say that you are carrying nct fics on ao3. i hope you never stop writing cause i could be 40 and i would still read your stuff 🫶

i think a big thing has been getting out of my head abt writing! like i only write when i want to, i don't stick to word counts (minimums or maximums), and i dont compare myself to other writers (not that i read a whole lot of fic anymore, but there's a few that i still keep up with and one of them churns out fics way faster than i do, and another who posts like maybe two or three times a year but i still love them!) like i've def said this before, but for me, writing fic is fun, it's something i do bc i want to and if i open a word doc and i'm genuinely dreading it, i'm not gonna do it (my adhd brain simply will not make me lol--tho that is a double edged sword bc i do have to chase myself into doing something i like sometimes, but the ritalin has helped a lot xx)

i also dont go into my fics completely clueless anymore. like, i for sure don't know everything, i learn a lot along the way, and tend to change stuff (and get surprised by my own fics, which is always fun!), but i definitely have more of an outline and general sort of sketch of the fic in my brain and in my word doc before i start actually writing real scenes of any sort, which has definitely helped. like, starting with one little idea isn't bad at all (strawberry sunday literally just started w the fact that i liked the title of a song that i hadn't even heard yet and it turned into like 10 fics??), but i dont just start writing head empty anymore (i used to get a tiny spark of inspiration and try to write everything start to finish immediately because i thought i'd lose it if i didn't, and it'd burn really short. now i sort of just sit with it and slowly tend to it like fire instead and it lasts a lot longer and gets a lot bigger). i ruminate a lot before anything that looks remotely like a story leaves my ideas doc and gets its own doc

idk if this necessarily makes me write faster, but i also edit as i write? like, sometimes i open a fic and i don't have anything in me to write, but i'll reread what's in the draft so far and edit, make little changes, fix continuity errors, etc. not only does it keep the whole plot so far fresh in my mind as i continue writing, but then i have a lot less to proof myself when i finally finish the whole thing because i've already caught a lot of spelling, grammatical, and plot errors! i used to find editing a slog to do bc when i finished my first draft i would be so excited and wanted to just post it! and didn't want to reread all this stuff i just wrote several times to try to find typos, and now it's usually a breeze bc my first draft isn't really my first draft, it's been continually revised as it was drafted. and sometimes i open a doc, won't feel like writing, tinker around with some editing, then suddenly have a lightbulb moment while i'm editing and jump into writing

[alwaysxlarrie]

you know it’s an alwaysxlarrie fic when ... + 2022 writing self evaluation 

ok so i’m a tiiiiiny bit late to the game, so i’m just combining the two tags lol. thank you to @hellolovers13, @larrysballetslippers, @zannithinks, @lunarheslwt, @brightgolden & @momrryrights for tagging me in the moodboard challenge (that’s what i’m calling it lol). hope everyone enjoys my chaotic moodboard hehe & thank you to @neondiamond, @onlythebravest, @lunarheslwt, @greenblueish, @thedevilinmybrain & @loveislarryislove for tagging me in the self evaluation tag !! here we goooo

for the moodboard we’ve got 2013 larry bc that’s my fav era & how i always imagine them in my fics, football player louis, santa’s sleigh, office space, cute notes on a white board, a clothing rack, new york city & gentle touches. i don’t think i need to say there’s not any specific mood theme going on here for anyone to figure that out LMAO but i did try my best regardless :)

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 9!

2. Word count posted for the year: if i’m counting correctly ..... 93,735 ????

3. Fandoms I wrote for: one direction. i have a fic for the 5sos fandom that i’ve written a few chapters for & was editing it in an ao3 draft but then the page refreshed for some reason & i lost everything & kinda lost steam, so .... maybe it’ll see the light of day next year

4. Pairings: louis/harry, zayn/liam (side pairing), shawn/niall (side pairing)

5. Story with the most…

Kudos: i swear i could give you everything

Bookmarks: also i swear i could give you everything lol

Comments: it’s i swear i could give you everything again LMAO 

Hits: gimme everything you got 

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): i think i’d say either gimme everything you got or i need something, so tell me something new. gimme everything you got bc i put a lot of my personal experience (give or take) into it & it got such a positive response & that made me super happy. i need something, so tell me something new bc it’s my first ever published fic in general & fic in this fandom.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): oooof. prob my sub harry fic. i enjoyed being apart of the fest & i enjoyed the experience, but writing it was so much harder than i’d anticipated & it felt like my writing got very redundant after a few scenes. i’m glad i stuck it out & that i published it, but yeah i def don’t think i did it the justice i’d wanted to.

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: i’m really enjoying all the reviews/comments i’ve been getting on my cinderella au! it’s my first chaptered fic that i’m posting chapter by chapter, so that’s been really encouraging. but in general, i appreciate all the comments i get. as a small/new writer, i don’t expect to get any comments at all really, so whenever i do, i get excited. there was a comment on my christmas fic santa, won’t you bring me the one i really need? where someone said it was the best christmas fic they’ve ever read :)

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: the sub harry fic lmao. i love service kink harry fics so i was like alright sweet this will be a no brainer & basically, i fucked around & found out. i literally went through like 5 drafts until i finally found a premise that went w the prompt i was using that i felt i could build off of without turning the fic super predictable & dead end. i think if i’d waited to do that type of fic next year & done more research than i’d done for this one, it would’ve gone much better.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: the beginning of my cinderella au -- i’ve been very vocal about the fact that i write only fluff fics to balance out all the angst in our fandom & then i go & write a cinderella fic & make the first two chapters packed w angst LMAO. it’ll turn around soon, but that’s def the biggest one as of yet for me, i think.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: i’m not sure if i have a favorite tbh, but i like this one from i swear i could give you everything: --------------

“So what have you got for us today, Haz?” Louis asked, knocking on the table with his fists, excitement and anticipation both thrumming through his body.

“Well, I was just messing around in the kitchen last night, really,” Harry began, messing with the hem of his shirt and seemingly determined to continue looking at the floor as he made his way towards the fridge a few feet away from the table Louis was now sitting at. “And then I realized I had the ingredients. So. I just figured. Why not, you know?”

Louis furrowed his eyebrows, trying to piece together what Harry was talking about. All he’d done was ask Harry what he’d made. He guessed the ingredients were relevant to the conversation and he did enjoy listening to Harry talk - even if he really was talking some shit - so he decided to humor him. 

“Oh yeah, sweetheart?” Louis prompted as he placed his elbows on the table and rested his chin on one of his hands.

Harry was apparently too busy rummaging around the fridge to even glance back at him when he responded. Which wasn’t rude, really. Louis just. Wanted to see his eyes, was all.

“Yeah, so like. I thought you might enjoy it. You talk about it a lot, anyway. So I figured, I might as well, if I have the ingredients, you know?” 

“Sure, sure. Absolutely. No point in having all the ingredients if you’re not gonna make a good meal out of it.” Louis had completely lost the plot at this point but was still determined to try for Harry.

--------------

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: well let’s start w the fact that i began the year convinced i’d remain a reader & beta forever. so the fact that i’ve published one fic, let alone nine, is pretty big in itself lol. aside from that, i’ve gotten more comfortable writing smut & dialogue. before i wrote fics, i only wrote original stories & never included dialogue, so those were my biggest weaknesses when i first started writing fic & they’re still not my strengths yet, but i’ve definitely gotten better, i’d like to think.

13. How do you hope to grow next year: i def want to get more comfortable writing smut & building sexual tension. i want to write longer fics. i want to finish at least 5-10 of the 20 wips i have lol. i’d love to finish all of them, but 5-10 is a good goal. i want to write some different genres like historical, slow burns, etc.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): i have a few! @loveislarryislove is a big one -- if i need help w a metaphor, making sure a sentence sounds right, incorporating tension building touches, brainstorming, honest feedback, etc, annika is my pea in a pod. also @panye, steph is so lovely & helpful when it comes to brainstorming, talking out what phrasing sounds better, she tells me what needs fixing & how to fix it; basically, she’s the better half of our shared brain cell. @zanniscaramouche is pretty much the reason i feel as comfortable as i do writing smut. she’s patient, she gives examples, she’s kind, she knows just how to change wording around to make a description or dialogue top tier. @justanothershadeofblue, is my sprinting buddy (along with zanni when our schedules align!). having a daily sprinting buddy who cheers you on is delightful, especially when they’re as supportive & willing to get sidetracked in off topic convos w me as zjo!

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: gimme everything you got is based on personal experience in terms of the stigmas that come w female masturbation / women being shamed for exploring their bodies. i work in retail, so while that didn’t inspire it’s like i’m powerful with a little bit of tender, it def helped me know bts info lol. lastly, i’ve recently switched my major from psychology to interior design & my minor from interior design to psychology, so i guess my (new) major showed up in you are my destiny (you are the reason that i still believe). hostile work environment was also inspired by my retail job as well LMAO. there’s more in my wips tbh, but as for my currently published fics, that’s it, i think!

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: just remember that how ‘popular’ or ‘unpopular’ your fic may be / may get isn’t an indicator of your talent. write something bc you want to write it, not bc you think it’ll appeal to people. take breaks -- if you’re stuck on a scene or sentence, get up & do something else for a bit. if you keep rereading the same sentence over & over, it’s only going to keep sounding more & more scrambled. you’ll work much better with a clear head & will be able to see where the mistakes -- if any -- actually are.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: my cinderella au for sure! i started a fic inspired by one of my fav fics staring across the room by the lovely @allwaswell16 & it’s been put to the side for much longer than i’ve wanted. i initially put it to the side to get more practice writing tension building, but def want to finish it next year. i also finally started the sequel to my girl direction fic, so that as well. & the sequel to my christmas fic lmao. i have lots of things i need to finish 😭😭

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: i honestly don’t know anyone who hasn’t done or been tagged in either of these yet, but i’ll tag a few anyway lol @lululawrence @thebreadvansstuff @panye @kingsofeverything @voulezloux @infinitelymint @londonfoginacup @twopoppies @littleroverlouis @tommokat @crinkle-eyed-boo @disgruntledkittenface @kingonafiftymetreroad @daggerandrose @homosociallyyours @ireallysawanangel & anyone else who wants to do these!

[goldeneyedkim]

Year End Stats

Kinda.

So, I'm a brat and want to know when notifs go out, so I'm subscribed to myself. Since Ao3's stats are... uh, not great for the yearly breakdown they supposedly have (if you post a longfic across multiple years, the stats are counted in full for both years), so I can't see how many words I wrote easily...

But I could go back through all my notification emails, add up all the words, and find out 1) how many words I posted* for each account in 2023 and 2) how many times I posted. AngelSelene_Archived is not counted in this.

Uh, disclaimer: it's a lot. Also it's "how many words I posted" and not "how many I wrote" both because I had 3 longfics I posted this year that I have had written in significant part before this year (Surviving the Fire, Wildness in His Bones, and Brutally combined had well over 100k pre-written before I started posting). Anyway, that means it's not a true "how much did I write in 2023" but it's... uh, still impressive.

Stats beneath the cut:

So... GEO readers feasted this year (not a surprise since I finished Iron and Ichor). I may not have done Nano this year--my dayjob is retail adjacent, so November's always an iffy proposition anyway--but I did have 7 (SEVEN) months where I posted over 50k, and an eighth (Feb) where I just missed it.

Dramatic drop-off in Nov-Dec, which... look, IRL was not kind from Halloween on this year. Probably 20k of what was posted in those two months were pre-written.

What was the total word count? 611,305 words posted in 2023. AngelSelene got 208k, while GEO got a whopping 403k.

So... that's a lot.

And because that's a lot, I got curious about how often I posted.

Uh, spoiler alert: it's also a lot.

In case anyone's curious, final tallies were 73 times for AS, and 118 times for GEO, for a grand total of 191 times.

Guys, statistically speaking, I posted every other day last year between the two accounts. I had no idea I had posted that much. I also have no idea why so many of my wonderful readers don't unsubscribe when they realize how much I post. 😂

The actual numbers if anyone's curious:

I do not expect this year to be this nuts (not the least of which because I don't have over 100k of longfic drafts), but I'm def still recovering from the insanity of the end of the year, and it is absolutely impacting my desire to write.

To those who signed up to go through this insanity with me--thank you. Truly. 💛💛💛💛

[omegawolverine]

7, 18, and 22!!

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

I LOVE. TO MAKE MY LITTLE GUYS DO THINGS. I LOVE PUTTING THEM IN SITUATIONS. no but fr i just find so much joy in writing them particularly in situations that will never happen in canon but would fix me if they did. like those little guys r never gonna really have a deep heart to heart about their trauma on screen but TO ME. THEY HAVE AND I WILL WRITE IT. or even like for not angst/hurt comfort stuff its like oh writing them having fun with their friends or being in love and being happy is so !!! GOOD

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

sorry for choosing such a long part of this fic but its like. the most recent fic ive written that has anything worth explaing ig?? anyways this def isnt like crazy impressive or anything but this chapter has so much dialogue and i fucking suck at dialogue so this end portion was rlyyyy just an excuse for me to write tommy freaking out a bit without having to include dialogue and i think it was also a good end to the first chapter of this fic in terms of setting the tone for the rest of the fic 👍

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

almost all my fics start as a handwritten draft (i have almost all my fics in some notebook somewhere in my room dating all the way back to like the 5th grade when i started writing beyblade self insert fanfiction) and then i retype them in docs and use that as my chance to edit as well ig? and then when i paste them onto ao3 i do a final edit there. uhhh if its a chaptered fic i usually have a doc with all the important details with the exception of like my umbrella academy dsmp au which almost all the details are on a post somewhere on this blog under the tsmpa tag i think? but they havent been updated in awhile, i need to change some major stuff for that au before i go back to writing it 😭😭

[igarbagecannoteven]

2021 Writing Self-Evaluation

thank you hazel ( @allsassnoclass ) for tagging me for this!! 😊 putting the answers under a read more bc y’all know my answers will be not be consise lol

1. number of stories posted on ao3: 7 :))

2. word count posted for this year: 20,232

3. fandoms i wrote for: i’ve only posted 5sos fic, but i have worked on/fiddled with a couple of old hp wips this year!

4. pairings: i’ve only posted cake, malum, mashton, and lashton, but i did finish a fic for every pairing (not including ot3/ot4) this year!

5. story with the most kudos/bookmarks/comments: the answer to all three of those is by far don’t let me drown in my mind! i could delve into the reasons why i think it’s my most popular but the night is not-so-young and also that’s not the question lol.

6. work i’m most proud of (and why): oh goodness that’s a hard one! i’m proud of everything i’ve posted for various reasons (i wouldn’t have posted them if i wasn’t) but i think today i’m particularly proud of we gotta make a decision (leave tonight or live and die this way) for a lot of reasons. it’s set in an au that i have much bigger plans for and i love the characters so much, which in some ways made it a lot more difficult to write and stressful to post bc i wanted it to do well. while it’s set somewhere very similar to where i was born, it deals with a lot of things that i have zero experience in, and i think i pulled them all off semi-decently! also, this grew a *lot* from the first draft to the final one (mostly thanks to the fact that i turned in a het version for my prose class and used their critiques to shape the fic lol) and i’m very proud of the way i was able to take the notes i was given and make a much better work because of them. i think it’s leaning toward more of my “literary” style instead of my fic style which is my only quibble with it, but i think that works for the content of the fic.

7. work i’m least proud of (and why): most of the works i’m not proud of have not seen the light of day tbh. every work over 1k that I’ve posted is the result of weeks of stressing and editing and pulling my hair out because i really do my best to make sure i don’t post something i’m going to regret lol. that being said,,, i do wish that if i bleed you’ll be the last to know was just a touch more polished. like, it has a lot of stuff i’m proud of and i think overall it’s a decent fic, but i’m not confident that the pacing is up to scratch and the ending isn’t the best, although i always struggle with endings. but i do love it! and it’s really not bad! i’m just very picky lol. beyond posted work, i’m not proud of how many wips are less than a quarter done. i’ll be the first to admit i’m a slow writer and i do try to keep my expectations of myself realistic, but i do think i could have gotten more done.

8. share or describe a favorite review you received: i’ve recieved several reviews that i carry with me in a special box next to my heart so it’s really hard to choose! i will say that when i sent bella the doc for don’t let me drown in my mind asking her to beta read and her first reaction was something along the lines of “i’m so relieved you’re a good writer” was really affirming to me because i am a little insecure about my writing and that felt like a very honest comment bc idk about everyone else but i’ve def had the feeling of like, reading someone you know’s writing for the first time with your fingers crossed chanting under your breath “please be good” bc it’ll be so awkward if it’s not dsjflkdsjf so yeah it just gave me that moment of like “okay i’m not a shitty writer” lol. honorary mention to helen sending me a message about a specific line in what if i’m weak (and i need you tonight) bc when i received the notification i’m pretty sure i actually squealed kjsdflkjdslkdsjf

9. a time when writing was really, really hard: writing is tremendously hard for me about 90% of the time, and i mean miserable, pulling-my-teeth-out hard lol. (don’t ask me why it’s my main hobby because i still don’t know how to answer that lol) writing seeing things in a different light was especially stressful though because it was my first time writing for someone else and when that someone is as talented as adri that makes it extra scary lol. it was also my first time writing fic on a deadline, which mean it was the first time since middle school i was expected to have a final draft at a specific date (most creative writing classes only ask for your next draft, not necessarily your last). it was also my first foray into fluff, *and* my first time writing something that would only really work as a fanfic, so there were a lot of learning curves. but i’m pretty proud of the finished result, and adri left a lovely comment on it that i go back to whenever i need a pick me up, so it was definitely worth it!!

10. a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: i know i legit just posted this but i did not expect to write a bee au. like, i know i love a hyper-specific au but that’s a bit much even for me ksjdfljdskfj also the fact that the bigger au for we gotta make a decision features a subplot revolving around the opioid crisis is insane. like what was i thinking when i made that decision. (i know what i was thinking but still. craziness.) 

11. a favorite excerpt of your writing: listen. on a craft level i find this to be one of the most heavy-handed things i’ve written, like i really stretched this in a way i maybe shouldn’t have. it is not something i’d ever include in a work for class. however. i am so in love with the dissected frog metaphor in if i bleed you’ll be the last to know it was just so fun to write and while i’d probably dislike it if someone else wrote it, it makes me smile just thinking about it. part of me says not to quote it here but as a treat for myself here it is:

Calum felt like a dissected frog, like his insides were all neatly lined up on the table on top of his English notes, each organ pinned with a little label. If it were anyone else seeing his guts laid out in the open, he was certain he would start desperately attempting to shove them all back in, not even caring if they went in the correct spot as long as they were safely hidden again, but since it was Michael, there was no surge of fear. He knew Michael would gently put everything back in its proper place, that he wouldn’t take pictures or type up a research article. Calum never would have thought it was possible to feel safe inside-out if he hadn’t met Michael.

12. how did you grow as a writer this year? i posted my first ever fanfic! i *finished* my first ever fanfic!! i’d never actually finished a work of fiction before this year, can you believe it? never reached that final draft. and now i have! multiple times!! wtf!!! i also think my decision in august to hold off on posting fic and instead squirrel them away until i get 24 complete fics was a big moment for me. like i said before, writing doesn’t actually bring me a lot of joy, so it’s important to me that i make sure the parts that *do* make me happy continue to do so, and my hope is that this challenge thingy will help me do that. i’m very proud that i was able to recognize the way posting fic was starting to turn sour and nipping it in the bud before it could do that.

13. how do you hope to grow next year? hopefully finish more fics! i think that writing is very much one of those skills where the only way to get better is to do so, and i’m hopeful that my writing will continue to improve as i go. i’d also like to stop comparing my writing process to other writers. it can be hard to be a slow writer in a fandom where so many great authors can churn out longer fics in a matter of weeks or even days and still have the work be amazing, and it’s also hard when you’re someone who takes multiple drafts to get a fic where it needs to be when there are people who can ace it on the first draft. i’d really like to shed that habit of thinking of my writing process in comparison of others but instead simply in comparison of my past self. also, on a less writer-y note, i’d like to get better at leaving comments on fics i enjoy! part of the reason i don’t comment very much is because it does take a certain amount of spoons to do so, but there are also other reasons that i’m going to try to get out of the way. january is apparently a month where some people try to comment on every fic they read so i may try to do that! 

14. who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc)? i mean i can’t *not* mention the fantabulous @clumsyclifford because not only is she the reason that i started writing for this fandom, she’s also a wonderful beta and so so good about me randomly talking to her about my fic problems, even if it’s for a work that’s really not her thing. also hazel has been so encouraging and kind about my writing and is *also* a great beta as well as someone who shares my excitement for niche aus!

15. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year? yep! i really did cut a watermelon in half with an oyster shell for seeing things in a different light (sometimes research can be fun!) and i’ve also written two fics heavily inspired by my hometown (seeing things in a different light and we gotta make a decision) *and* there’s don’t let me drown in my mind whose first 1k is very heavily inspired by real events. like, i changed some of the things i was freaking out about but all of the descriptions and intrusive thought/executive dysfunction stuff was written from memory. 

16. any new wisdom you can share with other writers? join an irl writers/critique group that isn’t mainly for fic. no, i’m not saying this for some elitist reason or just because i love critique groups (okay, maybe a little for that last reason), but because it’s just a very different experience than having beta readers or people in your doc. i’m of the firm belief that listening to other’s work being critique can help you with your own, and i also think that critique groups are more likely to tell you if something needs a more drastic change. beta-ing and having people in your docs has a lot of positives, many of which you won’t necessarily get in a critique group, but getting critiques irl can offer you lots of positives as well. it doesn’t have to be one or the other! and you don’t have to disclose that you write rpf; i definitely don’t! finally, i do think that writing and critiquing are two separate skills, and if you want to build up your critiquing muscles you’ve got to exercise them (not that you have to if you don’t want to! there are plenty of brilliant writers who are terrible at critiques and there are some mediocre writers that are great at critiques, you don’t need one to do the other.)

17. any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year? so many it’s actually ridiculous. i would commit actual crimes to finish tis the damn fic this year, i started it in february and it is still no where near done and while i am absolutely in love with the characters and the world i just want it all to be on the page so i can share it with people already!! my new year’s resolution is actually to make some major headway on my fic challenge, and while i doubt i’m going to reach 24 i’d like to get semi-close. 15? 20? among those, i’m looking forward to several 5(ish)+1 fics i’ve got sizzling (faking the moonlanding au, mer!ashton au, another crackfic i won’t spoil), plus i’d love to finish up/start some more driving is for lovers fics because my brand is not going to make itself :)) 

18. tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: i’m not sure if other people have tagged new people (that makes zero sense but hopefully y’all know what i mean lol) so i’ll just tag a few peeps: @cringeycal , @pixiegrl , @werewolfashton , @valiantnerdtm , @burstingsunrise , @kaleidoscopeminds , @tirednotflirting , and anyone else who wants to! (and if i tagged you and you don’t want to that’s totally fine! it’s not obligatory!)

[livesincerely]

it’s so easy (too easy) to love you, ch. 1

Also on Ao3

00000

Davey’s just gotten out of class—literally just walked out the door—when his phone starts ringing.

“Davey,” Tony says the moment he answers, not even giving Davey time to say hello, “can you swing by the apartment real quick?”

Davey sighs. “Are you locked out of the house again?”

There’s a guilty silence. Then, “Or maybe I just wanna see you, huh? You don’t know.”

“Tony.”

“Charlie’s the one that lost the spare,” Tony capitulates immediately, there’s an indignant “Hey!” somewhere in the background, “and I left my keys in my locker ‘cause I thought Charlie had his—”

There’s a scuffle of noise, then Charlie’s voice breaks in, “—don’t listen to him Davey, I asked him before we even got on the subway if he had his keys and he said he did but he didn’t even check—”

“—well, I thought you had yours, didn’t I?—”

“—and he was twenty minutes late picking me up from band practice because he was too busy making out with Spot Conlon to come help me carry my stuff—”

“—that was supposed to be a secret you little shit!”

“—you started it!”

Davey pulls the phone away from his ear as the other side of the line descends into a mess of indistinct yelling. He thinks about trying to get their attention, but he decides to just start heading towards the apartment, muting his side of the call while he waits them out—they’ll remember him eventually.

In the meantime, Davey sends a quick text:

Tony and Charlie locked themselves out of the house again

He’s not expecting a response, but Jack must be in-between projects because he gets one almost immediately.

jc again?

And you’re going to have to get a new spare made

fuck okay i’ll take care of it. are you heading over?

I’m walking there now

ur the light of my life dave

Davey can’t help but smile at this, a soft feeling fluttering in his chest. Before he can write back, Jack sends another text:

how did ur midterm go?

I feel good about it! Def did better than I thought it would!

duh youve been living in the library all week ofc ur gonna do great. ill swing by the grocery omw home and pick up some ice cream to celebrate. do we need anything else while im there?

Get a bell pepper and some tomato paste, I’m going to make spaghetti for dinner. And we need more laundry detergent.

fuck yes im starving! can we do garlic bread too?

Come home on time and we’ll see.

u drive a hard bargain. kerian owes me a favor so he can stay late tonight lol

“Davey?” The sound of Charlie’s voice, tinny and muffled, prompts Davey to lift his phone back to his ear; it seems like he might’ve been calling Davey’s name for a while. “Are you still there?”

“I’m still here,” Davey confirms.

“So are ya comin’ or what?” Tony cuts in, ever impatient. “I’m roasting out here!”

“Well, I was thinking about leaving you to ruminate on your poor life choices,” Davey responds dryly, “but I guess I can come let you in, since you asked so nicely.”

“Thanks, Davey,” Charlie says.

“I’ll be there soon,” Davey confirms.

“Hurry, will ya? Much longer and I’m gonna get heatstroke and die,” Tony declares.

Davey rolls his eyes. “Goodbye, Tony.”

00000

When he arrives at Jack’s building some twenty minutes later, Davey finds Tony and Charlie right where he expects them: crowded together in the little bit of shade the roof’s overhang offers, wearing identical grumpy expressions that brighten immediately when they spot him approaching.

"Finally!" Tony exclaims, shooting to his feet. "What took you so long?"

“Stop losing your keys and you won’t have to wait for me,” Davey counters, slotting his key into the deadbolt and hefting open the heavy exterior door. He props it open with his hip and lets Tony and Charlie scurry past him into the AC. “You couldn’t get anyone to buzz you in?”

“Old Man Davis hasn’t gotten his hearing aid replaced yet,” Charlie explains as they climb the stairs up to the second floor, “and Mrs. Ikeda isn’t home.”

“She joined a new book club,” Tony adds. “She won’t be back till late.”

“Oh, I’ll have to ask her about it when I see her next,” Davey muses.

He gets the apartment door unlocked and the boys pile inside, tossing their backpacks down with dramatic groans of relief.  Charlie makes a beeline for his bedroom; Davey expects Tony to do the same but he takes a seat at the kitchen table instead, booting up his laptop with a couple of keystrokes.

“I’ve got a paper due in English tomorrow,” Tony explains. “Can you look it over once it’s finished? Maybe later this evening”

“Of course,” Davey replies. “What’s it on?”

“Lord of the Flies.”

Davey’s nose wrinkles up. “Oh, I hated that one. What’s the essay prompt?”

“Identify Golding’s argument about human nature as proposed in Lord of the Flies,” Tony reads off the top of the assignment outline. “Then make an argument agreeing or disagreeing with his assessment, using evidence from the text.”

Davey rolls his eyes. “Good to see that high school literature classes haven’t changed much in the last few years,” he says with a sigh. “How much have you written so far?”

“Oh, I haven’t even started it yet,” Tony casually rebuts.

“Is everything going okay?” Davey asks, frowning slightly. “If things are getting worse we can make an appointment—”

But Tony waives his concerns aside. “Nah, this is regular old procrastination, not ADHD procrastination. Like ya said, Lord of the Flies sucks ass, so I just didn’t want to write it.”

“Well, let one of us know if you start having trouble,” Davey says.

"Okay, mom,” Tony agrees, somewhat distracted. He’s already got a blank document pulled up on his laptop, a battered and thoroughly dog-eared copy of the book laying open beside him.

Davey looks at him for another moment, then he shrugs and continues making his way into the kitchen—he figures there’s no need to worry unless Racer starts actually missing assignments. And he’s right: Lord of the Flies does suck ass.

By the time Jack gets home they’re each fully entrenched in different activities: Davey’s washed a sink full of dishes and is working on drying the last few pieces of silverware, Tony is still posted up at the kitchen table, carefully hammering out a draft of his paper, and there are the familiar sounds of Charlie working through different musical scales on his oboe in the back bedroom.

“Honey, I’m home!” Jack calls jokingly as he enters. There’s a rustle of plastic and soft thunk of the front door closing behind him, then he comes around the corner into the dining room with an armful of groceries.

“Hey, Jack,” Davey greets absently. He starts rifling through the bags almost before Jack can finish putting them down. “Did you get the tomato—?”

“I got the tomato paste,” Jack says, kicking off his shoes and leaving them in the entryway with all the others, “and I picked up some more of that fancy coffee you like from the place around the corner, even though it’s expensive as all hell.”

“Don’t judge me,” Davey replies, gathering up an armful of vegetables and carrying them further into the kitchen. “You spend a semester grading 'Intro to Shakespeare' homework and tell me how much caffeine you consume.”

“I’m just saying, the rest of us schmucks drink regular coffee and do just fine,” Jack continues. “You can feed your crippling caffeine addiction just as well with Folgers and it’ll cut down on the grocery bill.”

“Watch it, Kelly,” Davey says, pointing a finger teasingly in Jack’s direction. “Smartasses don’t get dinner.”

“‘s that so?” Jack asks with a grin. “Then why the hell are we still feeding Tony?”

“I heard that,” Tony grumbles from the kitchen table.

“Yeah, you were supposed to,” Jack says, moving over to Tony and slinging an arm around his shoulders, pulling him into a side hug. Tony bats at Jack’s hand but makes no real attempt to get away. Then Jack says, “So, I hear you and your brother lost another set of keys.”

Tony throws Davey a look of the deepest betrayal. “You told Jack?”

“Of course he did,” Jack says. “Someone’s gonna have to get new ones made, and it sure ain’t gonna be either half of the dynamic duo.”

“Charlie lost the spare,” Tony says, mercilessly throwing Charlie under the bus while he’s not in the room to defend himself. “And I didn’t lose my keys, I just left them in my locker.”

“Uh huh, save it for the judge,” Jack responds, ruffling Tony’s hair. “Just know if I end up having to change the deadbolt, it’s coming outta your subway money.”

“Jackie, leave Tony alone,” Davey comments mildly over Tony’s spluttering protests. “He needs to work on that paper and you’re distracting him.”

“Yeah, Jack,” Tony repeats, a little smug. “You’re distracting me.”

Davey turns to look at him, one eyebrow raised. Tony quickly busies himself with his homework.

Davey makes quick work of washing a green pepper and peeling an onion, then starts dicing both into small, neat pieces. He feels more than hears Jack sidle up behind him: the familiar weight of his gaze, the solid presence at his back. He stands there quietly, leaning against the counter-top and just watching Davey cook; unbothered, Davey leaves him be for the moment and moves to the stove, scraping the chopped vegetables off the cutting board and into a pan to start softening.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Davey glances over his shoulder at Jack and says, “Are you just going to stand there or are you going to help me with this? You know there’s no loitering in my kitchen.”

“Well, I’m nothin’ if not a law abidin’ citizen,” Jack drawls in answer, the corner of his mouth quirking up. He rolls up his shirt sleeves, exposing the long, muscular line of his forearms, and washes his hands in the kitchen sink. “Where do you want me?”

Davey licks his lips. “Think you can handle browning the hamburger?”

“I’m sure I can manage,” Jack responds with a smirk.

Davey steps out of the way, letting Jack take his place in front of the sauce pan while he gets a pot of water set up on a different burner, salting it so it boils faster. They settle into their familiar dinner-routine, moving around and past each other with ease as they work on getting everything ready, chattering idly all the while.

“I’ve gotta head back out this evening,” Jack says at one point, as he sets the tray of garlic bread in the oven to toast. “Johnson’s got me working a night shoot and I have to be downtown by 9.”

“How long is the session?” Davey asks. “Here, will you open this?”

“We’re scheduled for five hours, but we might get to wrap it up early if everything goes well.” Jack’s hand brushes against the small of Davey’s back and they trade places again, Davey stepping back up to the stove-top and Jack rifling around in one of the drawers for a can opener.

“Are ya spendin’ the night or are ya headin’ back to campus?”

“Depends on how much help Tony needs with his paper,” Davey replies, shaking his head. He takes the can when Jack hands it back to him and empties it into the saucepan, then gives the whole thing a good stir. “We might be at it a while.”

Jack huffs out a laugh. “Well, if you do spend the night, go ahead and take the bed. The extra blankets are in the usual place.”

Davey sets down the spoon he’s holding, crossing his arms across his chest. “Jack,” he says warningly.

“Davey,” Jack echoes back in the exact same tone of voice. In the background there’s the faint sound of Tony muttering, “Jesus, not this again.”

“Jack, I’m not gonna kick you out of your bed,” Davey says, rehashing the same old argument for what feels like the millionth time. “I’m perfectly fine taking the couch.”

“Or you could do the smart thing and just take the bed,” Jack counters as he always does. “I’m not even gonna be here to use it.”

“You’ll want an actual mattress when you get home, especially if you’re out late.” Davey argues. “I don’t even have class tomorrow, it’ll be fine.”

“If you don’t take the bed I’ll just carry you in there once I get back,” Jack says, as if that's a perfectly reasonable course of action. “So you might as well save me the trouble.”

Davey sputters. “That’s not— You can’t just— That only happened a couple of times!” he finally gets out.

"Well, actually, it's been more like four or five times," Jack says with a smirk. "But hey, who's counting?"

"That trick won't keep working," Davey grumbles, feeling the back of his neck start to heat up.

“You sleep like a fucking rock, Dave,” Jack says, rolling his eyes. “Why wouldn’t it keep working?”

“No, see, that’s exactly why I should take the couch,” Davey insists. “It’s not like the sound of you coming in will wake me up—”

Jack turns to face him. Davey cuts off, slightly startled—he hadn’t realized they were standing so close to each other.

“Just take the bed, Davey,” Jack all but orders, and those dark eyes with that low voice are a heady combination. “Please?”

Davey bites at his lower lip, suddenly flustered. “Fine,” he reluctantly concedes, hoping Jack will attribute his flushed face to the heat of the kitchen. “Just this once.”

"Thank you," Jack says with a dramatic heave of his chest, looking much too pleased with himself. "Now that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"You're letting the garlic bread burn," Davey answers tartly.

"Oh shit—!"

00000

Later that evening, after they’ve all finished eating and have cleaned up, Davey, Tony, and Charlie are still gathered around the table, working on various assignments.

Davey is finishing the readings for his Monday lecture in between helping Tony finalize the exact wording of his essay. Charlie sits opposite him, working through his geometry homework and every so often there’s a huff of breath and the rubbery scratch of an eraser—Davey makes a mental note to swipe some more pencils and notebook paper from the grad lounge when he’s there next.

Davey notices the time and frowns. “Jack,” he calls out, “it’s already 7:30. If you don’t leave soon you’re gonna be late for work.”

There’s a clamor of noise from down the hall, then Jack appears, freshly showered and fumbling to put on his socks and button up a clean shirt at the same time.

“Fuck, Johnson is gonna kill me,” Jack grumbles. He pats down his pockets, then groans. “Christ, has anyone seen my—”

“Your wallet and keys are on the counter by the microwave,” Davey says, pointing. “And take a jacket, it’s supposed to rain later.”

“Great, I’m sure the models will love that,” Jack says with a groan. “Hopefully we’ll be able to get through everything without getting rained out.”

He meanders his way over to the table, peering at Charlie’s homework from over his shoulder. “If Tony is still busy and ya get stuck, text me,” Jack tells him. “I probably won't be able to answer right away, but if ya send me a picture of the problem I can probably talk ya through it between shots.”

Charlie hums his acknowledgment, still scribbling furiously. Jack turns to Tony.

“Listen to whatever Davey tells you about your paper,” he advises. “The only reason I got through undergraduate writing was ‘cause Davey proofread all my shit before I turned it in.”

“I thought I was s’pposed to always listen to Davey,” Tony says distractedly, tongue poking out between his teeth as he types.

Jack pauses, considering. “Yeah, just do that.”

“Jack—”

“Oh, and Dave cooked, so you shitheads better do the dishes, get me?”

“Jack, you’re gonna be late,” Davey cuts in firmly, holding out Jack’s jacket for him.

“Alright, I’m going,” Jack says, shrugging it on, and he finally starts making moves towards the door.

He gives Charlie one last pat on the shoulder and cuffs Tony lightly across the back of the head in a slightly rougher, but no less affectionate goodbye, which is per usual. Then he turns to Davey, tips his chin up, and kisses him right on the mouth, short and sweet.

“Lock the door behind me and don’t forget to—” Jack stops mid-sentence, then turns bright red.

“Um,” says Charlie.

“Holy shit,” says Tony.

Jack’s mouth opens and closes soundlessly. Finally, he stammers out, “I u-uh— I-I d-didn’t mean—“

Davey doesn’t respond. He couldn’t, even if he wanted to—he’s frozen in place, his mind a sudden wash of static. For a moment, they just stare at each other. Then Jack blurts, “gottagoseeyoulaterbye,” and bolts out the front door.

Davey’s not sure how long he stands there, staring blankly into space, utterly dumbfounded.

“Davey?” Charlie asks hesitantly. “Are you okay?”

There’s a strangled, choking noise. A split second later, Davey realizes it’s coming from him.

"...What just happened?"

[mccoys-killer-queen]

I just realized I’ve been writing fanfic for so long that I can fucking timeline the eras of my writing based on my hyperfixations slgnvaeprngerpogm

Ancient Era: 2013-2014

fandom- Fun. (the band)

I was 12 when I first started writing. None of these stories exist anymore. I deleted them all at LEAST 6 or 7 years ago from my Wattpad. Cringe as can possibly be. Stories about myself out the ass. Didn’t know what p*dophilia was. Mixed perspectives. (A/N Just go with it!). Only wrote bc I wanted to be cool. Only wrote to include my favorite songs in any way I could (sound familiar omg). Truly a horrible time to be alive. I was the youngest in this fandom. Everyone else was like 14. It was pretty bad, but not “sold to One Direction” bad, considering that’s what everyone else was doing at the time.

Renaissance Era: 2014-2016

fandom: Doctor Who

This was when I started taking writing seriously at the age of 12. All of these stories still exist on my Wattpad, but there are some things I’ve never posted. This was also when I started writing to cope/writing for only myself. I still love my ideas for these, and Doctor Who really helped itty bitty teenager me in ways you can’t imagine. I could go on for days on how it changed my life completely and made me who I am today. I was truly in another universe in this era. Made stories about OCs (and OCs in general) for the first time. Amazing ideas out the ass all the time. I am still in love with a lot of things I came up with in this time. Oddly mature but still blatantly teenage. Tried to be extremely historically accurate (which I still try to be).

Bronze Era: 2016

fandom: Supernatural

I had a lot of ideas with potential, but never executed them completely due to lack of motivation. I still think about my only Supernatural OC often. I wasn’t interested in the show for long, which is another reason why there aren’t many stories from this time. Things were more in my head than in writing in this era. Call this the “thinking practice” era. I got better at developing ideas. These stories still exist on my Wattpad. Some things I wrote may have been lost in the Great Tumblr Purge of 2018. May they rest in peace.

Silver Era: 2016-2018

fandom: Star Trek

A sad era. Very few stories, several lost in the Great Tumblr Purge of 2018. What I lacked in content in this era I made up for in practice. I improved a lot in this era as far as descriptions and omniscience goes. Creating an atmosphere began to come naturally during this time; it was basically an exercise era; a ‘maturity in typing’ era. There wasn’t much posting, but drafts helped me improve and spend more time thinking about the worlds and versions of characters I created. One of the greatest things I thought I ever wrote was lost in the Great Tumblr Purge of 2018 just days after I finished it. I still have about 55% of it that was backed up, but I haven’t been able to try and recreate it ever since. May it rest in peace. I made an AO3 in this era. Stories are on there. I stopped posting on Wattpad in this era.

Golden Era- 2018-present

fandom: Def Leppard

Fuck yeah. It all started with a dumb cracky fic. Yearning to be in the past and be in love continues to constantly fuel ideas for stories. And surprise surprise, I still try to shove my fav songs wherever I can- because that’s the other thing that continues to constantly fuel ideas for stories. I started doing palette cleansers and drabbles and illustrations and just- I can’t put into words how much I love writing what I write now. I’ve written more than 100k words in Def Leppard fanfic and that continues to go up by the day. I’ve finally mastered how to effectively project the exact emotion I want readers to feel into words, and I truly think my style became one of a kind in this time. I guess you can say I turned into a romantic writer rather than just a dramatic/emotional writer. It was in this era that people actually started paying attention to my stories and appreciating my writing/giving me a real amount of feedback for the first time. All stories are available on Tumblr, some on AO3. The “colorful” era.

[savrenim]

Hey man, I am just wandering if I should go for another reread of ifmlam, but I wanna tell you that your writing blows my mind every single time, that your story telling keeps me captivted, that the relationship and dynamics created make me cry cause I know it won't last and that the skill with which you play with the what ifs and the world you created makes me smile. Thank you for the effort you put into you work, and please let me know if there is anything else you've done that I can read.

<3 <3 <3 <3 oh my gods this is. aaaah. thank you so much??? I am Crying.

so I still definitely am writing ifmlam -- the Hamilton film reminded me of some of the reasons that I originally fell in love with Hamilton, and even though my feelings about the setting remain Complicated, and ooof I have so many other projects that updates might be Slow, that is a thing that has definitely been spurred and is still happening. 

as for other things I’ve written/am writing which oh my gods oh my gods I cannot believe aaaah I’m so??? glad that you like stuff enough to want to read my other stuff?

--- we raise it up is my current fic that is updating most regularly, it is for The Magnus Archives and it also involves future foreknowledge as a super major plot point, bc oops “give characters knowledge of canon and see what they do with it” is apparently my favorite trope. I am usually very not into podcasts because I don’t process purely auditory things very well? (music is fine, which was why Hamilton worked, but also, I could read the lyrics.) but, uh, I read The Magnus Archives bc all of the transcripts exist online and that’s actually a pretty fun collection of interlacing short stories and worldbuilding and plot and gay! and fandom to get into and I think works just as well in a written medium as it does in an auditory one. the fic is major spoilers through season 4 and also kind of.... does assume background knowledge of seasons 1-4 to make sense, but I’m really really pleased with what I’ve written so far and what I’m planning to write I think the world background lore is maybe the hottest take I’ve ever had and I’m very much looking forward to the second half of the fic, that is kind of all about its reveal

-- the wind, the wind, the wind also known as lesbian Hadestown in space fanfic is something that I’ve been working on for oops a year and it’s finally gotten to the point where I’ve been dragged into an obsessive wanting to work on it and only it, which means that it’ll probably??? be ready for posting??? by the end of the week??? maybe two at most??? I’ll defs post a link on tumblr, but it’ll also go up on my ao3 page, which means if you temporarily subscribe to me as an author there you will not miss it. or just, like, check my ao3 page in a week or two.

-- gay murder elf bachelorette is a solo DnD campaign that a friend has been running for me as an experiment to kind of... flesh out I think a period of history in the world that they run a lot of their main campaigns in? anyways it’s been the experience of living in a novel and less like playing DnD, so I, uh, novelized three of the six arcs I’ve been in so far. they are:      -- Book 2: Of Wolves And Ravens: As Told By Three Letters Sent From Cloudfall Fort      -- Book 3: Tests of Faith (includes only one in-universe letter the rest of it is mostly dramatic storytelling, I might fix it one day but oooof so many writing projects so little time)       -- Book 4:To Stare Into Darkness: The Infestation Incident Of Black Lotus Labs, As Told By Four Letters Unsent, Three Letters Sent, And The Official Report Drafted By Acolyte Consecrate Iria Strell there are also canonical in-universe correspondences that can be found here and here that take place in between Books 3 and 4. I...may or may not write Book 5, which if I do will be Book 5: The Knives Behind Their Teeth: As Told By Consecrated Priest Iria Strell's Personal Notes On The Civilized Corpse Investigation that from the title alone you can tell was a banger (it is even MORE of a banger than the title implies. there was necromancy. there was the gay mess of THREE girlfriends all in the same town. there was Everyone Expects the Caedic Inquisition. there was dramatic truth reveals about my sketchy mentor. there was everything) but that is a balance of amount of time it takes to write these things vs Everything Else I Need To Do and I have recordings of the sessions so it’s not like I need them for memory means...??? we’ll see. the books are.... I really like them? I’m proud of my experimentation with the epistolary writing style. I think Book 4 is definitely better than Book 2 because I learned that I didn’t need to include every detail, and it’s definitely understandable to read without Book 2 if you’re willing to accept things in media res, so if you only read one I recommend that one. but they’re all pretty fun.

-- I’m also defs writing some original novels, that are eventually going to be posted for free online and I’ll probably start a tumblr that is just them but they’ll also be announced and linked to here? there’s The Numanok Files which are “bounty hunter punches ghosts in space” and will probably be coming out first, just bc it’s a series of novellas and it’s easier and less complicated to plot, and then trash novel (actually called “Opus” which has some cool in-universe meanings and is not just because this thing is my Magnum Opus, but trash novel in my heart) that is just. entirely self-indulgent written with zero intention of being good and only to be fun for me but in doing so is idk totally trashy but in some sense maybe the best thing I’ve ever written just in terms of it’s unapologetic and it does what it wants, which is what I like most in a story? but that is defs going to be several years because I want it all written before I start posting it and have I written a full conlang grammar structure and now need to write the language for my favorite fictional society in that universe? it’s more likely than you think. Numanok Files I wouldn’t be surprised if the first book is out within a year; it’s been fully outlined and partially drafted and the full drafting and editing process esp for something under 50k doesn’t really take me too long. I’m kind of transitioning from fanfic to original work just because I’m really excited about my ideas, so at this point I think ifmlam, wriu, and twtwtw are going to be the last fanfic I end up writing? but who knows.

this.... got very long but those are all of the things I’ve worked on and am working on in the immediate future, enjoy??? also gods no pressure to look into or enjoy any of them, I’m just so honored that you’ve enjoyed ifmlam to even consider checking anything else I write out