#i will continue to be cautiously optimistic though.... i gotta.....

[little-eye-guy]

honestly it feels weird putting my joint problems in my colon problems tag but isn't it wild how the human body works. why are these things connected

[exopelagic]

buckland is probably a prick but man if he managed to change the tone of the conservative party like THAT when like nobody knows who he is?? if this is how they differentiate themselves from reform as a centre right party that’s like. so much better

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

My memory is terrible so I wanted to do a breakdown of my stuff every once in a while. Might be monthly, might be whenever I feel like it.

QL - Currently Watching

🇯🇵25 Ji, Akasaka de [7/10] - I do love when Japan does a pov change and this was no exception. Hayama is so far gone. Like we already knew what, but he's been a goner ever since he read his name. He's being worshipped by all these people around him because apparently he's too good looking for anyone to be normal around him, and all he sees is Shirasaki. He said one sentence to him in school that he kept as a reminder. Man is obsessed. I'm so curious about next week. The lines are getting more and more blurred and eventually someone's gotta give. Also Hayama should give lessons on self-control. I have never seen anyone so completely out of his mind in love and jealous and at the same time, so put together. I'm in awe.

🇹🇭 Knock Knock, Boys! [2/12] - Strong start. It's fun, I really liked the flat sharing concept, it reminds me of my London days and kinda like Thanwa, being the mom of the house. I'm wondering if they will settle into their own in-house pairs soon or if there will be cross over, cause that would be fun. Give me mess.

🇹🇭 My Stand-In [1/12] - For a number of reasons I'm waiting to binge this one. I do love watching the gifs on my dash though, pretty is pretty.

🇹🇭 Only Boo! [8/12] - So we're done with highschool and that last episode felt a bit rushed trying to finish all those loose threads but I like that we're getting to a new chapter of their relationship. They continue to be too adorable for words. Side couple - dream kisses my beloathed. From the preview and also the number of thai bl's I've watched I'm thinking this will be a pretty straightforward 'it turns out you like him but now he moved on (not really) and you have to grovel'. I'd love to be surprised though.

🇹🇭 Wandee Goodday [4/12] - I am loving it. Pretty much everything about it. Before I say anything else. Thor is gorgeous and he should do all the shows. Forever. He and Cher are delightful and I love that they are an established couple that seem to have their own roles in the gym and their own relationship with Yak. I said this in tags before I think, but I'm finding it interesting how we collectively talk about this show ending, more often than not, with the caveat 'let's see if it holds up'. We have been burned before and not that long ago so we are all holding our breaths. Contrary to my usual state, I'm feeling cautiously optimistic about this. I think the bones are there for a good show all the way to the end. No one is perfect - except Kao, he is perfection and the ace rep I only dreamed of - and that's great. They are both smitten and complete idiots. I'm looking forward to seeing more of the backstory, and in Yak's case how much of what drives him is a consequence of loss.

🇹🇭 We Are [9/16] - Still enjoying the friendships and still bummed we have no development with Chain/Pun. We had one second of development and it was a look. So much in that look. Not really but at least it seems that Pun is aware of his feelings, so that's something. The last episode kept reminding me of Love Sick because of all the camp stuff. It's an entertaining show but the Q/Toey plot is annoying me a bit now.

QL - Finished

🇹🇭 23.5 - This show lost me about halfway through and I never really connected after that. Even if it really wasn't for me, I'm happy it exists and I hope gmmtv invests in more gl's in the future. I wanted more of the teachers but I'm not greedy and was happy to see that they are together by the end.

🇰🇷Blossom Campus - What a mess. I still cannot believe this came out of Strongberry. I posted my reactions while watching. Final thoughts here.

🇰🇷Boys Be Brave - I really liked this one. Just to get it out of the way, the side couple felt a bit unfinished and could've had a bit more screen time. All the characters had their own stuff going on and 8 episodes just isn't enough to explore that depth in a satisfactory way. With that said. I adore the mains. JinWoo built a wall, put a list on it and we got to see Kiseob slowly tearing it down in its own unhinged unique way. I did a rewatch and something I didn't notice the first time is that when Kiseob is 'caught' with Inho and is explaining what happened while JinWoo hides under the bed, he enumerates what happened just like JinWoo always does. I thought it was so endearing. I found Kiseob's presence on screen always so bright and JinWoo's actor was really compelling to watch. Overall this was a really nice surprise.

🇯🇵 Living with him - Writing this when I literally finished and it's strange. Cause they are so cute by the end. That whole festival date was so adorable, and I think they played the awkwardness of the dynamic change really well. I do think the show dragged in parts and Natsukawa became a tiny bit annoying to me at a certain point. Because he found out so early that Kazuhito liked him that I thought the indecision was too much at times. I kept comparing it in my head to I Cannot Reach You, and the way both Kakeru and Natsukawa's lack of confidence plays a part in how they deal with the friend liking them, but I think in this case the back and forth in his head was irritating to me. It was always one step forward, two steps back. When he found the magazine in that last episode I wanted to punch a wall. Like, oh crap here he goes again. It's great that the friend was passing by so he could do all the work and get these two finally together. For the most part I really enjoyed it.

🇰🇷Love Is Like a Cat - That was a show that I watched. Final thoughts

Rose Watches OJBL

The Novelist (2018) - I put off this one for so long because of reasons and I was so wrong. It's not necessarily an easy watch but it's so good. It's beautifully shot and acted. I went through a whole journey with Kijima, from 'who is this guy?' to 'I fucking hate this guy' to ''I need him to be happy, please'. I will have to rewatch it after I watch all of them because the series is full of details and I'm sure I missed a bunch. Definitely happy I started this journey if for no other reason cause I finally managed to watch this.

Takumi-kun Series 2: Rainbow Colored Glass (2009) - The sad just came out of nowhere. It's got some of the same problems as the first one, choppy editing and even though the cast is new the acting is still not that good. I was less confused throughout which is good, Takumi annoyed me a lot though and the tragic plot was messy and rushed. I'm not sure if I'll watch all of these but probably at least one more and then decide.

Other - Watched

🇨🇳Running Like a Shooting Star (2024)🇯🇵Barakamon (2023)🇯🇵Ghost Yankee (2024) 🇰🇷Wonderful World (2024)

4 Thai BL's coming in June June 7 | My Love Mix-Up (so many mixed feelings) June 9 | Love Sea June 15 | Sunset x Vibes June 26 | The Rebound

As usual my ask box is open for questions or requests. Have a wonderful day/night💜

[ratstuckinamarble]

so like running theory on why gen 1 toradeen is happening is to continue the trend of certain gen 1 couples carrying over to gen 3 + to add more excitement to when gen 3 toradeen happens and catch the attention of gen 1 only peeps?

Ooh I like that theory... Definitely down for that being foreshadowing of sorts. Though I gotta say, I don't think that would convince the g1 only folks to give g3 a shot.

Still, the thought of the different people working on mh deciding to make things match up somewhat around the same time is really fun to me. I'm generally more for keeping things new and different between the gens but since Toradeen wasn't present for the bulk of g1 and is actually something new, I don't mind in this case (plus my queer bias XD). Though my thoughts might change depending on how this ship is handled. For now, I'm feeling cautiously optimistic.

[aitarose]

CACTUS JUICE | SOKKA

sokka x reader [fem]

PLOT: Three kids and a flying lemur stranded in the desert with nothing but the bags on their backs, not to mention the boy that’s high on cactus juice.

WORD COUNT: 1.4k

A/N: i love boyfriend!sokka but lmao how does suki deal with this?? also this is my favorite thing i’ve ever written, sokka on crack is high quality stuff

MY MASTERLIST

“You look gross.”

Y/N’s jaw dropped in annoyance at her boyfriend’s remarks. She, Sokka, and the rest of the Gaang had been trekking through the desert for hours without any clear path ahead.

With Aang and Appa missing, they had no direction or any idea of what surrounded them. Their only objective was to find someone, anyone who knew the way out of the sand filled hills.

“I’m sorry..what was that you just said to me, Sokka?” Y/N raised her eyebrows at the warrior.

He stared at her with wide eyes while he watched his beloved girlfriend wipe beads of sweat off of her forehead. She was covered in sand, they all were—but Y/N was in a bit of a worse condition than everyone else.

Grains of sand fell from her hair with every step she took. Her clothes were stained with a thick layer of dusk. Dirt gathered beneath her fingernails and was smeared across her cheeks.

“Oh nothing, Y/N.” Sokka laughed sheepishly, cowering slightly from the harsh glare the girl was sending his way.

He slung his wrapped arm over her shoulder, pulling her close whilst the dust migrated to his own body. “The dirt really captures your personality, brings out your character.”

Y/N jokingly pushed Sokka away as she heard sparse giggles from Toph and Katara. Even Aang let out a curt laugh at the couples’ playful antics. It had been a really tough day. It was nice to have some sort of positivity after the incident at the library.

As the group of misfit teens carried on, it was becoming apparent that they wouldn’t be able to go all day without any source of water. The sun was beaming directly above the group, tiring them to near exhaustion and dehydration.

Sokka felt that it had become almost unbearable, to the point where he was using Momo as a sun hat to cover both him and Y/N. 

“C’mon guys,” Katara sighed from up ahead. She was trying to keep everyone motivated and optimistic, something she had to do far too often. “We’ve gotta stick together.”

Y/N stifled a laugh as Sokka peeled himself out of their lazy embrace. 

“If I sweat anymore,” he sarcastically replied, “I don’t think sticking together will be a problem.”

The group was beginning to become restless, specifically Sokka. He needed some sort of liquid to calm his nerves.

“Look!” He cried, using Y/N’s finger to point to a tower of cacti. Surprised by the strength of his pull, Y/N fell to the ground, sand filling her entire mouth.

“Some boyfriend you are!” She huffed, spitting the tiny morsels into the air as Sokka made his way to the cacti in a trance. “You could’ve at least helped me up!”

Sokka waved his hand dismissively at the girl, “Not now, my little dirt queen. Sokka needs water.”

Everyone watched as he brought his sword down on the plant, making a clean slice. He held the makeshift cup above his head before he chugged the strange juice, not letting any drop go to waste.

Y/N grimaced at the thought of drinking the pale liquid. “Are you sure that’s safe?”

“Y/N’s right, Sokka.” Katara said, agreeing with her brother’s girlfriend. “You shouldn’t be drinking from strange plants.” 

Sokka shrugged whilst he split open yet another cacti. “But there’s water inside these plants!”

He looked up at Y/N as he held up a freshly cut cactus for her to drink out of. She smiled sweetly at the boy before pushing his hand away, knocking over the cup in the process.

“No thanks,” she blatantly said to him. Y/N was thirsty, but not thirsty enough to drink out of something that could give her a disease. “It’s all yours.”

“Suit yourself!” Sokka exclaimed, liquid dripping down his chin onto Momo’s head. “It’s very thirst-quenching, though!”

Not even a moment later, Y/N’s face dropped to see Sokka’s eyes wide and dilated. He seemed frozen in place, holding his cactus while he stared into space. 

“Drink cactus juice.” He said, twirling his fingers around the drink. “It’ll quench you. Nothing’s quenchier!”

Y/N stood up, still picking sand out of her teeth. She cautiously made her way over to her boyfriend and placed both hands on his shoulders. 

“Sokka.” She could feel him shaking with anticipation, but anticipation for what? “Are you alright? You don’t look so—”

“IT’S THE QUENCHIEST!” 

Y/N screamed in surprise at Sokka’s outburst. His nose touching hers as he surged forwards offering her another drink. She stood completely still, making uncomfortable eye contact with the water tribe boy.

“Okay, I think you’ve had enough.” Katara’s eyes narrowed as she emptied his drink. 

Sokka completely ignored her, using Y/N’s finger yet again, this time pointing at Toph.

“Who lit Toph on fire?”

“How did we get out here in the middle of the ocean?”

“Why am I dating a sand monster?”

Sokka’s questions were relentless. The cactus juice made his usual nonsense sound even more delirious. He was bouncing off the walls with energy. Constantly relaying between the three girls.

After the first five minutes, Toph was over Sokka’s antics. She continued walking, pretending the boy didn’t exist while Katara made her best attempts to control his outbursts. 

The only girl enjoying the insanity of the situation was Y/N, but then again she was his girlfriend. She enjoyed anything and everything Sokka did.

“Y/N!” Sokka exclaimed excitedly, pulling her along with him as he ran in circles. “I’m making a tornado! Who’s the airbender now, Aang?”

Y/N burst out laughing while she was yanked in each direction. Her hair whipped in her face, dust flying everywhere. She and Sokka looked like two flying lemurs during a hurricane. It was truly a sight to see.

Her feet stumbled over each other as Sokka sprinted in front of the others. He continued screaming absolute nonsense to the clouds, not noticing Y/N struggling to keep up.

“Sokka!” She yelped, tripping over her own footsteps. She was beginning to think she had had enough of her boyfriend’s chaos. “I think we should slow down now!”

The boy whipped his head around to look at her. His gaze intense, not with lust or romance, but with a frenzied craze. 

His abrupt movement shocked Y/N, who was still in motion.

As she went flying forwards, Katara screamed, watching her friend fall down the massive sand hill. Sokka rolled down after her, somersaulting in unison with her tumbles. Toph stood still not knowing what was happening. 

“Sokka!” Y/N shouted between faceplants, “I am so breaking up with you after this!”

The free falling girl came to a halt at the bottom of the hill. Once again sand filled her mouth, but this time that wasn’t it's only hiding place. It was lodged in her ears, her armpits, and her clothing. 

Y/N cradled her neck in pain as she heard muffled footsteps nearing her. She looked up to find Sokka. Her vision flared. Anger being the only emotion on her mind.

“You idiot!” Y/N slapped Sokka’s knees from her seat, feeling satisfied as she watched him crumble to the ground. “I could’ve gotten hurt! I could’ve broken my neck! You could’ve broken your neck! If I fall down on something tall—you don’t jump after me!”

While Y/N scolded Sokka with worry laced in her voice, he moved to hold her tightly. His muscular arms wrapped around her waist and he nestled his face in her neck. 

Y/N’s rant ceased. She maneuvered herself so that they were in a more comfortable position. She sighed contently as Sokka ran his hands up and down her back.

“I’m sorry for getting upset.” She mumbled in his ear. “It wasn’t really your fault.”

Sokka pulled back slightly, a soft smile gracing his face. He pushed the loose strands of hair away from his girl’s forehead, holding her cheeks in his palms. 

Y/N blushed as he surged forward, much like the last time but also much different. Now he was gentle, the rowdy mood long gone, as he pressed a soft kiss to her chapped lips. 

Sokka didn’t need to use his words to apologize, the kiss speaking for him. 

As he slowly let go, Y/N grinned at the boy. She was glad that his insanity had finally passed.

“Let’s get back to Katara and Toph,” he said whilst helping her stand, his hands finding their rightful place in her’s. 

“They need to see that my girlfriend looks even grosser than before.”

With that comment, Sokka received a hard smack on the head.

[long-bodyswap]

Yotta Life

(Im sorry I don’t have the credits, but if you know the author you can @)

It’s been an adjustment lately getting used to all this fame and attention since Adele’s new album came out.  The whole world knew it would be huge, but even the most optimistic among us couldn’t have imagined that it would have the best selling first week sales of any album in history!  With massive, iconic numbers like that, it was only natural that she would need more security while she goes on her whirlwind press promo, and I’m the best in the business- ermmm- I mean technically my host, Peter Van der Veen is the best in the business, but it’s not like anyone could tell the difference since the spell I used gave me access to all of his memories, training, and personality traits.  No one has suspected a thing, and I’ve been inside Peter since he was Lady Gaga’s bodyguard!Possessing the top bodyguard for the stars has been a dream come true because I’ve met and spent time with almost all of my idols.  Gaga is much more normal in private than people give her credit for, but my favorite client so far has been Adele, BY FAR.  Never have I ever met such a witty, sweet, funny as shit, monumentally talented, and down to earth person.  Rumor has it she used to be quite the drinker before she had her baby, but every now and then she’s whipped out a little reward for the road with her team, meaning I was naturally drawn into the fun.  IIt’s been simply remarkable getting to know Adele and honestly consider her a friend.  She’s so honest and personable that I catch myself shifting out of Peter’s stern persona, dropping sass and giggling to her jokes.  I remind myself often that it’s only acceptable around Adele, but anyone who had previously known Peter would be immensely suspicious.  Still, it’s been the single most meaningful (and lucrative) gig I’ve ever done. You can see that I try my hardest to remain stern and serious.  It’s so hard because even her commentary during casual conversation is adorable and hilarious enough to make a stone gargoyle let out a good chuckle.  Sometimes it honestly is too much and I can’t help but smile and join in the silliness.  It’s comforting at least to know that Peter’s smile looks so fucking sexy- almost as sexy as his stern smolder.  

The bulk of the promo circuit ended in December so now that it’s January 2016, I finally have some time to myself.  Adele thanked me profusely for my service and friendship and begged me to free up my schedule so I could join her when her tour starts in April.  I promised her I’d lock in the dates, but it’s going to be nice to have some time to have fun behind closed doors…At the very least it’ll be nice to show off this body.Fuck, what a great day.  I’m rocking this perfect bronze and I can finally show off this sculpted body.  I work ridiculously hard to keep it up to Peter’s standards, but it’s so worth it.  Peter’s body looks sexy as hell in a suit, but it was meant to be seen and envied by others.  And the Adele gig was so lucrative that I’m set to be enjoying the next four months shirtless and glistening at this Mexican resort.  I used this morning to do a power workout of sprints and chest interval training in a nearby canyon, and then I rewarded myself with a nice afternoon spent relaxing at the beach.Peter’s sore muscles always made me horny for some reason, which meant that I was on edge almost all day every day…I didn’t mind though.  It reminded me of how powerful and full of my vitality my host was.  What I did mind though was burning in this hot sun.   Noticing a cute boy eyeing me, I saw an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone.  The adorable fucker looked about my real age, but way better looking, not that that mattered since I was inhabiting Mr. Europe 2005.  Being bisexual, I’ve been able to use Peter’s body to anonymously fuck around with hotties from all over the world, but I’ve gotta say I’ve developed a strong preference for boys, so let’s test the waters and see if this kid wants a taste of the premier bodyguard to the stars.“Hey, kid.” I said in a deep, yet friendly tone.  “You got a sec to help me out with something?”  I made sure to flash him a subtle smile, also pulling my shades down so he could see the twinkle in my beautiful eyes.   It only took me a second to realize I had him hook, line, and sinker.That big smile was one thing, but I had also completely stopped him in his tracks.  He was walking back over to me without a single hesitation. “What can I do for you?” The chap asked with a friendly tone that was masking what I, after maaaanyy similar encounters, knew was lust.“You see, I’m going to start burning soon, so could you help me with a fresh layer of sunblock?”He kept his jaw from dropping, but I knew he was shocked and ecstatic.   “You mean, on your back?” He asked, treading cautiously.“Actually, I was hoping you could help me with the whole thing,” I said, pointing out my sculpted chest and abs before biting my lip in a fake show of nervous anticipation.  

The boy paused to think for a second before smiling again and walking over.  “Sure, I’d love to help out,” he said in a  way that tried to make it sound like he was just doing a normal favor for a stranger.  

I grinned in relief before putting my shades back on and getting out my tube of sunblock.  I laid down, making sure to get comfortable before I took a second to adjust my junk since I was about a quarter hard from the sheer testosterone pumping through my veins.  

“Sorry about that,” I said before getting relaxed again.  “Had a brutal workout this morning.  Always gets the testosterone flowing, if you know what I mean.”“I could tell you had a good workout this morning.  You’ve got the pumped look.  Maybe you can share some workout tips- I’m trying to bulk up, but it’s been kinda hard.”“Son, you don’t need to add a single pound of mass.  The lean look is really sexy on you.”  I said that right as he popped the cap open, making him blush before he squeezed a healthy helping of that cream into his hands.  

“That’s easy for you to say,” he said before slathering that cream on my abs.  I shivered and gasped from the cold, tightening my core from the surprise, but he kept talking.  “Especially when you have a body like this.”As far as I could tell, he had no idea who I was, so it was safe to see if I could push his buttons a little.As he spread the cream over Peter’s ripped abs, I quietly moaned from the feeling of those smooth fingers rubbing that coconut scented goodness into my stolen skin.  The look on this boy’s face was one of inner conflict.  He didn’t know if he should go a little further, but he finally got my subtle hint and began rubbing me more purposefully until he was giving my abs a slow and deep massage.  

“You have…so much definition,” he marveled as he worked his strong fingers more and more expertly.   “mmmmmmm that feels so good, kid.  Guess you could tell that yesterday was ab day,”  By this point his constant touch had me more than half hard.  He definitely noticed my long and thick cock growing in my shorts, but he didn’t back away.  He started massaging me even more purposefully, sensually even.  Damn, this kid had some kink in him.  

“And I’d bet money you did a chest day today,” he said slowly and smoothly as he began working his magical hands up to my muscular slabs of pec perfection.  I moaned louder this time as he worked his hands up to my chest so he was grabbing a pec with each hand, squeezing firmly enough to loosen up those stiff muscles.  He squeezed harder, massaging my sore chest and making me groan in a mix of ecstasy and agony.  I was shocked though as he, without stopping his deep tissue chest massage, began to gently flick and rub my nipples with his thumbs.  I inhaled deeply, feeling my cock twitch and continue to engorge as this boy worked Peter’s incredibly sensitive nipples.  My breathing picked up, getting slightly faster before this kid made his big move.  I gasped loudly as he leaned down and began sucking on one of my nipples before reaching the other hand down to rub my cock through my shorts, making it pulsate and swell to full hardness.  

“Unnnngggg,” I groaned as I looked down at this cutie with thick, bushy eyebrows give in to his hunger for cock, specifically my cock.  I gasped again as he gripped my cock through the shorts, feeling the thickness of my girth and the obvious length before smiling, apparently satisfied with Peter’s thick 8.5 inches.   “If you wanted me, you should have just said so,” he whispered seductively into my ear.  

I knocked the big tube of sunscreen onto the sand before grabbing him and pulling him on top of my powerful chest, enjoying the weight of his body against my greased up chest.  I brought my mouth to his and he eagerly opened as I locked our lips and brought our tongues into a dance of lust.  Fuck, he tasted so minty.  My rock hard cock pulsated as I humped my crotch up against his, feeling his hard dick rub back against mine as I let us get lost in the lust.   FInally breaking the kiss, I told him, “I have a room,” barely having the breath to make the sentence.  He just smiled before we made a mad dash to pick up our shit and cover our raging hard ons as we ran back to the hotel.   I woke up the next morning alone int he bed except for a little note that had a phone number and the name Zac.  Man, last night was crazy.  I mean, I’ve done some kinky shit with Peter’s body, but I think I blew four of Peter’s loads into that boy last night.  Yeah, there was the load when I was fucking him doggy style.  Then another when I was fucking him missionary.  The third one was when he was riding me.  mmmmm, the last one was my favorite.  I pinned that kid against the wall with my strong arms and bounced him up and down off my powerful thrusts until I finally blew that last load so deep inside him.  On that one things got so intense.  Zac was hollering and almost hyperventilating my cock made him feel so good.  He didn’t even touch his dick that time since he was scratching at the wall the whole time, but his cock still blew a load all over the two of us.  That was about when I hit my limit.  I remember roaring so loud I thought the walls were vibrating before finally, dripping in sweat and muscles and veins bulging all over my body, I blew all of the remaining cum in Peter’s balls so deep into that boy.  When I calmed down, I carried the boy back to the bed and we both laid there making out and squirming from the afterglow of our orgasms before passing out from our multi-hour fuckfest.  

I smirked as I thought to myself how this would be my life for the next four months.  I got up and walked over to mirror, admiring my boxer-clad vessel, still just as high off of the beauty of this stolen body as I was two years ago when I first took Peter over.  

“You’re one sexy man,” I said to the reflection before winking.  God damn, seeing Peter’s body respond to my actions was still so satisfying.  I felt a fluttery sensation deep in my gut before blushing from the sight of the sexy body in front of me.  Mmmmmm yeah, Peter might be a strong and tough man, but I can always make him do whatever I want because he’s powerless with me inside.  

“Don’t ever forget that you’re too weak to resist me.  You couldn’t do a thing to stop my soul from slipping inside you and stealing you,” I taunted his reflection as I leaned his head down to his pit and huffed in his manly sweat and stench from yesterday’s workout and fuckfest.  

“You smell like a real man,” I said with appreciation before I stripped off the boxers and brought them up to my face which instantly scrunched up into one of ecstasy, huffing in the crotch area, almost coughing from the power of the manly muskiness.  It was so fucking masculine and sexy, and it always got me hard.“That turns you on doesn’t it, you kinky queer?” I asked his reflection before I brought my lips to the mirror and pretended to make out with Peter.  My heart sank though as the cold glass reminded me that I was on the other side.  Sure, I could take over some other stud for a night and use my powers to mind control Peter into having a wild night of passion, but it takes me a lot of time to build up the energy to switch, so I only like to switch sparingly.  I need at least three months to build up the necessary energy, so I don’t use the gift for casual flings.  No.  It’s a commitment, so the stolen life has to be perfect.  I stayed in Peter for the last two years because life has been so perfect, but it would be nice to finally feel and taste his body from the other side…Still, I’d need to find the perfect body and life in the next week or two in order to have enough time to get back inside Peter in time for Adele’s tour.  I guess I’ll just have to wait until after the tour…My frustration built, and I decided to take it out on Peter.  Even though I knew he was blacked out, I liked to pretend he was aware of everything when I got mad.  Grabbing his semi-hard cock, I pumped it until I got it back up to full hardness, watching myself make angry, yet sexy and turned on faces in the mirror as I pumped myself mercilessly.  

“Yeah!  You like that you queer slut?!  I’m gonna make you eat every drop of this cum!  unnnnngggggggg it’s gonna taste so fucking good, you fag!  Who’s the tough guy now, you freaky fag?  Can’t believe a tough guy like you is gonna eat your own load like some queer cum whore!”  God, this always made me feel so turned on and so much better.  I was getting close to orgasm when the phone rang.  I instantly clicked ignore, but it started ringing again.  I growled as I clicked ignore a second time, but the damn phone rang a third time.  Cursing, I let go of Peter’s cock and switched to his professional voice as I answered the phone.  

Even though I was initially annoyed, I was so glad I picked up the phone.  Smiling from ear to ear, I listened to a very special new client ask for my services over the next three and a half months.  Apparently he needed extra security for his wife, so tomorrow I would be on an early morning flight to Beverly Hills.  My vacation wasn’t over, it was just moving to another locale…and I’d finally have the chance to taste Peter’s lips and mouth from another perspective.Fuck, I was so excited I went back to pumping Peter’s cock.  I ate his load, this time to celebrate!  Now it’s time for me to get cleaned up, buy tickets, and pack!It was so lucky to get that call from Bastian Gillmeier, or Bastian Yotta as the media and instagram know him.   couldn’t help but enjoy one more early morning walk in Peter’s body, happily flaunting his muscles as I left shirtless and enjoyed the feeling of the breeze on his skin.  But then I checked his watched and realized how late I was.  

“Shit!  Better get back and shower.  Gotta get to the airport.  Damn, I won’t even have time to yank out one last load!”   I quickly cleaned up and called for a cab, and before I knew it I had checked in and boarded my plane en route to Beverly Hills.  Still, I was frustrated by this libido and the desire, no, the NEED to feel Peter’s cock be relieved one last time.  It was one of those rare flights where it was barely at half capacity, and somehow I was the only one in the first class section.  This airline was my favorite too because instead of thin curtains separating first class from economy, there were actual doors, affording me a much greater sense of privacy.  Still, I didn’t feel comfortable pumping a load out with that cute flight attendant around.  With me being the only client, he was checking on me practically every ten minutes, and I wanted to make this last.  I thought about going in the lavatory, but there was something so nasty and classless about that.  No.  I guess I’d need to test the sensibilities of this handsome flight attendant. Maybe he could even help me out.  

I looked behind me and predictably saw him waiting there with a puppy like grin, waiting to please me.   “Would you like another drink, sir?”I flashed him an enticing grin as I thought pensively.   “That does sound refreshing,” I remark as I subtly relax in my seat, getting more comfortable and spreading my legs just a little.   “Another barcardi and coke?”“I don’t know.  I’m craving something a little different.  I’m just so on edge.  I could really use something to help me unwind,” I say breathy as I rub my hands in between my thighs and groan lightly.   This boy gulps loudly, nervously adjusting his tie.  “W-w-well…We have mojitos.”“No…that’s not what I want…” I say with a husky tone as I look him directly in his eyes, licking my lips while I rub my host’s crotch, groaning slightly more loudly as I feel this meat starting to get hard and strain within the confines of its denim prison.  

“Sir!  This is inappropriate!  I’m going to need to ask you to-”“Shut up and touch it.  I know you want to.  Your cock can’t lie to me.   “SIR.  If you don’t stop I’m going to have to-HUH?!” he gasped as I grabbed a hold of his arm and yanked him close to me.He was speechless from the shock as I pulled him onto my lap, keeping him firmly locked in my grip thanks to Peter’s strong muscles as I went to work grinding my tented crotch against his backside and reaching my hand around to begin rubbing his engorging cock.   “MMMMmmmmmmpppphhhhhhhhhhmmmmmnnngggggggg” he groaned through Peter’s big hand that was muffling his shouts.  

He squealed as I grabbed a firm hold around his rod, stroking and pumping him through his soft uniform pants, breathing hot on his neck as I whispered into his ear.   “You’re getting so horny, boy.  I can feel you getting hard in my hand.  mmmmmm a tasty boy like you is just the refreshment I needed.”  I followed by licking up and down his neck, making him gasp as shivers coursed their way up and down his spine.   “You liked that didn’t you?” I asked with a chuckle before experimenting and easing up my grip on his mouth.  

He took several deep breaths before slowly turning his head to face me.  It could have gone either way at this point as I saw the panic and indecision in his eyes.  But then the look in his eyes focused in and I knew he has made his decision.  

He lunged as he joined his mouth with mine, moaning loudly into my mouth as he wrestled his tongue past my lips and hungrily tasted me.  I needed to remind him who the big man was in this steamy moment, so I forced Peter’s tongue into this boy’s mouth, reveling in the pleasurable moans echoing into my mouth as I ferociously tasted my mile high slut.   Pulling back, he now had a look of hunger in his eyes.  “I-I’ve never done this before at work…”“It’s just the two of us in here.  No need to worry about anything.”He looked into my eyes briefly before biting his lip nervously.“Can I…taste it?” He asked with such anticipation in his eyes.   I just smirked at him.  “You think I’d say no to a hot mouth like yours?  Get to work, boy.”I closed my eyes, smiling with satisfaction as this boy crawled down onto his knees, no longer able to suppress his desire as he unbuttoned my jeans and pulled down the zipper.  I lifted my butt up to help him as he pulled down my pants and drawers, letting this big fat cock spring out, slapping him lightly in the face as he gawked at my host’s unveiled meat.  

I shivered as he immediately went to work, grabbing me with one of his hands, pumping me softly as he wrapped his lips around the head, getting it nice and moist as he swirled his tongue around.  My fingers were trembling, and the sensation crashing through my cockhead, down to my groin and down my thighs was so powerful that I had to bite my lip and focus on gripping the armrests just to keep from shouting out.  This boy knew what he was doing, and he had just barely gotten started.  

I felt the veins on Peter’s muscles expand, letting an intense surge of blood-flow crash through every part of his body.  It was a euphoria like no other, and it only intensified as this mile high slut began bobbing his slick mouth up and down, up and down, picking up speed as he kept sucking that meat and swirling his tongue over all of Peter’s most sensitive spots.  I cringed and scrunched my face it felt so fucking good, but I didn’t want to make too much noise.  At this point though I think he was almost challenging me to give in and admit how good it felt.  He finally had his wish as he all of a sudden jolted his head down, swallowing every inch of my meat as he scooped both hands up my shirt and found my sensitive nipples.  

My eyes shot wide open as he began deepthroating me with ferocious speed, all while squeezing, twisting, and rubbing all over my massive pecs, and particularly, my tight and hard nipples.  My back arched violently as a loud groan finally escaped my lips.  I bit my lip though to shut myself up, scrunching my face up again and hyperventilating as this boy kept swallowing my entire length.  

I couldn’t have hoped for a better last orgasm in Peter’s body, but I still wanted it to be at least partially on my own terms.  Growling as I felt the testosterone levels in Peter’s body rising, I grabbed the boy’s head with both of my hand’s, getting no resistance from him as I began to pull him down onto my cock, harder and even faster than he was already going.  Mmmmmmm it felt so satisfying as I used Peter’s strong arms to pull that mouth and tight throat down onto his juicy meat.  Such a good throat fuck, but I couldn’t hold my hips back anymore, so it got even more intense.  I know I might have been going rough on the boy, but he wasn’t complaining as I started bucking my hips up, thrusting into his mouth and thrusting powerfully down his throat.  The boy kept squeezing my pecs and nipples, getting more intense as I added more and more power to my throat fuck.  My toes were curling in my shoes as I looked down at this hungry mile high slut, and seeing the desperation in his eyes finally sent me over the edge.  Groaning loudly, I slammed his mouth down onto one last powerful cock thrust after what had seemed like an eternity of building pressure in Peter’s massive balls.  With that thrust, my pent up load was finally free, releasing stream after stream directly down the hungry throat that was so expertly milking my cock.  I shivered as kept yanking his throat down onto each new ribbon of cum, milking out over a dozen shots before the stream finally slowed to mere droplets which we sucked straight out of me with that skilled mouth.  

Attention Passengers,  Please prepare for landing.  We will be arriving in approximately five minutes.  

“Damn, sorry boy.  I guess I don’t have time to return the favor.”He just smiled adoringly at me though.  “No, don’t be sorry.  That was-That was amazing!  I’ll be thinking about you and this later tonight.  This will be on my mind for the next month at the very least!”He gave me one more passionate kiss before he straightened his tie and uniform, giving me a sexy wink as he made the landing preparations, leaving me in my golden orgasmic bliss.  He was kind enough to point to my ankles though, reminding me my pants and boxers were still down, leaving my softening meat out for the world to see.  I quickly pulled my pants back up as we began the descent.  

I hopped in the cab at the airport, unable to contain my grin as I gave the driver the address of Bastian’s Beverly Hills mansion.  The cab driver wasn’t particularly talkative, so I sat in eager silence as I mentally prepared for my transfer and mini vacation from Peter’s body.  

The passing vistas and palm trees zoom by as I absentmindedly reach my hands underneath my shirt and begin rubbing and feeling Peter’s body.  I know I’ll be feeling this body from the other side, but I’ll miss the feeling of ownership and possession.  Something about feeling Peter Van der Veen’s abs and squeezing those massive pecs with his own strong hands was immensely satisfying.  Taking over strong men and making them my hosts…my vessels…will always be my drug of choice.  

“We’re here, Mister,” the taxi driver says, looking at me with an odd expression as I realize I’m still circling Peter’s hard nipples.  I swoop my hands out from under Peter’s shirt, unable to help but go a little red in the face as I awkwardly thank and pay the guy.  I pull out Peter’s wallet, so comfortable now seeing his ID and associating that image and identity as my own.  That’s when you know you’ve found a keeper, when you look at your host’s ID and instinctively think, “Damn, I look hella fine.” 

I tipped the guy well to mask the awkwardness and walked over to the front door, suitcases in tow.  There was a note on the front door telling me to come on in and meet my new employers in the back.  The note said to just keep on following the central corridor until I reached them.   Opening the door, I was blown away by the extravagance of this massive and modern mansion.  

“What a great place to vacation,” I said aloud to myself in shock as I plopped my bags on the marble floor, closed the door, and began the long walk down the central hallway.  I passed by massive living and entertaining rooms, all decked out with expensive art, impeccable decoration, and state of the art technology.  The kitchen and dining room was as large as most people’s whole apartments, and I think I walked passed a whole new set of entertainment and party/recreational rooms.  It was simply unbelievable, but I got pulled back to reality as I heard light moaning emanating from the last room at the end of the hall.  

The moaning was definitely deep, low, and masculine.  Judging by the videos I had watched during my research, I knew it was Bastian who was cooing and making those sweet sounds of pleasure.  I could hear him faintly egging on what I can only assume was his wife, Maria.  That accent was still distinctly German, and thought some people thought it was a little harsh, I shivered from its foreign and exotic appeal.  I had never taken over a foreigner before, so I wondered if I would have the joy of speaking with such a German flare.   I kept walking cautiously towards the moans, concerned that I was going to interrupt a particularly private and intimate moment.  Still, I advanced.  That’s one of the great things about Peter’s body.  I’m this massive tank of toned muscle, but he is so light on his feet.  I barely make a sound as I walk right up to the cracked door and slowly push it open as I walk inside.  

“Huh?” I asked aloud as I creaked the door open and saw Bastian, shirtless and laying down on a medical table as his wife performed a spa facial.  She was dressed and made up to the nth degree with her pink mini dress, pumps, and full make up while she massaged her husband’s face, working the active ingredients deep into his skin that would help maintain his youth.  He clearly found the experience very pleasurable as the sounds coming out of his mouth were almost orgasmic.  

“That must be you, Peter,” he said in his sweet German accent and without even opening his eyes.  

“We’re just finishing the last step,” Maria said with a smile as she spread the remaining moisture serum down his neck before clicking a button that brought the reclined medical table back up to a chair-like angle.  

Bastian finally opened his eyes as he smiled at me, happy to see that he had been able to afford my services.  My host was, after all, the most sought out bodyguard in Hollywood.  

“Maria, can you give us some time?  I need to show him the house and talk about the next three months.  Here’s some cash–go buy something pretty,” he said as he casually handed her a thick strap of hundred dollar bills.  She was almost giddy with joy as she collected the multi-thousand dollar wad of cash and left to go shop to her heart’s content at her favorite designer stores.   “Now, that frees up some time for just us guys,” he said with a cheeky grin as he got up off the table and put his shirt back on.  

This was going too perfectly.  I tried to suppress my own giddy grin as he began to show me around the house, when like he said, it was just us guys.

[kittinoir]

Echoes of You Ch. 22

Read on Ao3

Chat Noir was exhausted, but cautiously optimistic. 

The city was near-silent beneath him as he cut a path towards the Eiffel Tower, as though every Parisian were holding their breath. The clock on his baton told him he had just under half an hour to make it there, but he wasn’t worried. Even if he was a few minutes late, Felix and Chloe wouldn’t be facing Hawkmoth alone.

He glanced behind him, searching the shadows, but they remained empty. Maybe, he thought, she just wasn’t coming.

Marinette’s balcony had been his final stop that night. The light had been on, but the room had been empty. He’d been disappointed, but hope had urged him to leave the mouse Miraculous and the pink rose on her desk. It wasn’t half the apology he’d wanted to give her, but it would have to do until he had an opportunity to talk with her. He hoped it would be enough for the time being.

But for now, he needed to focus. He hadn’t let himself dwell on the situation beyond what he’d told the others because it was too overwhelming, and none of it was guaranteed, but… if it went right, if they were successful, then everything would change. The world would come a little bit back into balance.

Adrenaline burst through Chat Noir’s system as the Eiffel Tower came into view. Though devoid of any activity, very light on it was lit, as though to give them their best advantage. 

He stopped short of the Tower itself, angling instead for the Trocadero Gardens across the Seine. He landed silently on the steps where Felix had instructed they meet, and was hardly surprised when his cousin grabbed him roughly by the arm, yanking him into a deep shadow.

“Where have you been?” Felix demanded, releasing him with a little shove. 

“I’ve been running recruitment,” Chat Noir said with a grin. “And speaking of, I’m going to need Trixx.”

“Trixx?” Felix unconsciously wrapped a hand around the pendent at his throat. “Adrien, I’m sorry I didn’t wait for you, but you can’t seriously mean - ”

“Nothing like that,” Chat Noir cut his cousin off. “He just belongs with someone else - but I’m not leaving you defenceless by any means.” Chat Noir reached into the bag at his hip, pulling out the Miraculous from the box. 

Felix hesitated, staring at the little box in Chat Noir’s palm.

“You’re really giving me one?” he asked. Despite everything, Chat Noir realized his cousin really expected to, at the very least, punish him for his previous stunt.

“I really am,” Chat Noir said. “You did good here, Felix. No one’s perfect; you deserve the same chance Chloé got. Will you take it?”

For once, Felix actually smiled. “Trixx, let’s rest.”

The kwami spiralled out of the necklace, coming to rest in Felix’s palm. He seized on the snap peas Felix had produced and scarfed them down. He continued to eat even as Felix removed the necklace and picked up the new box.

“Hey, Trixx,” Chat Noir said, accepting the necklace. “Ready to play with an old friend?”

“You found her then?” Trixx asked, drifting towards his Miraculous.

Chat Noir hid a wince. “Not yet. It’s still work in progress. Hopefully after tonight it’ll be safe enough to try.”

They both winced at the burst of yellow light as Felix opened the lid of the new box.

“Greetings, my King!” Pollen rose gracefully out of their box, executing a bow as they went. “I’m Pollen of the Bee Miraculous; I grant the power of subjugation. To activate the Miraculous, simply say ‘Buzz on’.”

“This is going to raise a lot of questions,” Felix muttered as he slid the comb into his hair, “But…thank you.”

“You’ve earned it,” Chat Noir said simply. “Remember the time limit.”

Felix rolled his eyes. “How could I forget? Alright, get going. Remember to wait for the signal.”

“Got it,” Chat Noir said. “Rena Rouge will take care of your illusion. See you out there.”

Chat Noir left, heading for the second meeting spot he’d arranged that night as a yellow flash briefly lit the shadows of the Trocadero. 

“Carapace?”

A voice drifted from the shadows. “Over her, du - Chat Noir.”

Chat Noir could make out a dozen forms among the dark struts of the Eiffel Tower, all talking quietly. The multitude of colours were muted in the night, but what they were was unmistakable.

“Alya?” he asked, stopping beside his friend.

“Right here,” she said, stepping up beside Carapace.

Chat Noir held out the box. “Ready?”

“So ready,” she said quietly. He’d never seen her quiet before, but he didn’t think he was imagining the glistening of her eyes as she took the Miraculous. “I never thought I’d ever get to do this again.”

“I can’t promise anything,” Chat Noir warned. “But tonight we need all hands on deck.”

“I understand,” Alya said quickly. “I just…I didn’t know last time would be the last time. Thank you.”

“I wouldn’t have anyone else with me,” Chat Noir said. He meant it, too. His Lady had chosen these people - well, most of them. They all loved her almost as much as he did. Even though she wasn’t there, it was almost like having her unbreakable spirit with them. 

“I see the gang’s all here,” Red said, dropping in beside him.

“Almost,” Chat Noir admitted. He couldn’t help a glance over his shoulder, as though she might still show up. 

“It’s interesting,” Red mused, glancing over their team mates. “Almost the entirety of Mme. Bustier’s class from Francois Dupont High School - with two notable exceptions.”

Chat Noir stiffened. No. No way. “Marinette might show up yet,” he said as his heart began to pound.

“She’s not who I’m interested in,” Red said, leaning in. “It’s you - Adrien.”

Chat Noir stifled a frustrated sigh. “This is unbelievable.”

Red actually scoffed. “It’s hardly rocket science. You haven’t exactly been subtle.”

“You of all people know you can’t give a Miraculous away to just any one,” he said. “They’re too dangerous.”

Her wince was barely noticeably. “You just better hope no one else notices the pattern, Adrichat,” she whispered. 

“Are you ready for this?” he asked, deciding it was best to move on to other topics.

“Yeah,” Red said after a moment. She turned to look out over the city, crossing her arms against an invisible chill she never could have felt through the suit. “I am, but…it doesn’t feel right to do this without her.”

A hint of pain and regret twisted through Chat Noir’s gut, but he couldn’t let it hurt him, not here, not now. “I know,” he agreed. “But it’s the only way to get her back.”

“You know how to restore her memory then?” she asked. She glanced back at him but he avoided her gaze.

“I have a few theories,” Chat Noir said, but he didn’t elaborate. “Let’s get through tonight first.”

“I’ll help you, you know,” Red said. “I… everyone knows how Chat Noir feels about Ladybug. I know you must be missing her. Besides,” she grinned, “I’ve gotta get rid of this kwami; she won’t eat anything but the best pastries in Paris. And I thought I was fussy.”

Beneath them, one of the lamps surrounding the plaza abruptly flickered out. Chat Noir felt the small hairs on the back of his neck stiffen.

“It’s time.”

Red nodded. “See you on the other side.”

Chat Noir saluted her and made his way to the darkest shadow in the structure where Rena Rouge was waiting for him. It deepened as another lamp went out. He felt more than he saw her shudder as he landed.

“I’ve dreamed of punching Hawkmoth right in the face,” she whispered, “But this…”

“It feels like a trap,” Chat Noir admitted. 

“Yeah.”

“It may be.” He stifled his frustration. “We have no way of knowing. Improvisation’s always been my stronger suit.” Even so, he’d done all he could to prepare.

Nothing, however, could prepare him for what he saw seconds later in the plaza.

It was the most stunningly beautiful, horrific akuma he’d ever seen in his life. Worse, he knew her.

“…Marinette?”

He recognized the gown, and in a terrible blinding flash, he realized it hadn’t been on the mannequin when he’d dropped by her place. Now he knew why. 

It wasn’t the project she’d been building over the past past couple of weeks; instead of black, the fabric had turned a brilliant, violent red. Black edging lined the silhouette. The hem, which had once flared out into a dramatic train, was in ashy tatters. Her hair tumbled loosely around her shoulders, longer and darker than he’d ever seen it before. The top half had been pulled back into a bun, the only ornamentation a hair stick decorated in midnight black flowers. Her skin was so pale she looked like a spectre. Her eyes had gone completely black.

All Chat noir could do was stare. “How…did this…how…”

“Oh, Marinette.”

He whipped to Rena Rouge. She, too, was staring at the figure in the plaza, sadness etched in her features.

“I tried to warn her,” she said. “Anyone can be akumatized.”

Nothing made sense. He couldn’t make it make sense. Rena Rouge wasn’t <em>wrong</em>, but Marinette was the strongest person he knew. Sure, she could get upset like anyone, but she always seemed to be able to quickly get her emotions under control.

“Warn her?” he managed. His gaze had wandered back to the akuma. He couldn’t look away. It was like seeing a ghost. “Why did she need warning?”

“I don’t really know,” Rena Rouge said as another light flickered out. “A few months ago we were talking on the phone. She was really freaked out. She said there were these…gaps? She couldn’t remember anything about Hawkmoth, or you and Ladybug. It was so weird, but after we talked about it, she seemed to forget that she forgot. She never brought it up again. Maybe I should have.”

Chat Noir couldn’t breathe. As he stared at the girl in the plaza, a thousand little puzzle pieces fell into place.

<em> ‘You love that girl’.</em>

Plagg’s words were like a bullet to the chest. His kwami had tried to tell him in the only way he could. He couldn’t believe he’d missed it.

<em> ‘I think something’s wrong…I’m having trouble…’</em> Remembering.

That was what she was going to tell him all those months ago. It had always been her, right in front of him this whole time. The reason she’d been so sure of her plan. His Lady…Marinette…the reason he’d been so confused about his feelings for both of them was because…

“Marinette is Ladybug.”

Beside him, Rena Rouge stiffened, and then sighed a little laugh. “Of course. Of course she is. Do I even want to ask how we ended up here?”

“No,” Chat Noir whispered through cold lips. “No, you really don’t.”

“But…then this means you’re going to have to fight her.”

“No,” Chat Noir said as fury finally ignited, burning away everything else. “I’m going to have to save her.” Adrenaline made his eyes fairly glow. “And then I’m going to make Hawkmoth pay for what he’s done to her.” 

For everything they’d sacrificed. For every sleepless night and broken heart and stolen kiss. For everything they might never get back. 

Felix was right; Hawkmoth had never played by the rules. This time, he’d crossed a line.

And Chat Noir was ready to get his claws dirty. 

[punkscowardschampions]

James & Ava

James: [so obviously all through this party whenever we can we're saying thanks/love you/sorry etc at relevant points via little touches but there hasn't been much time with all the kid chaos & we gotta use our words now] James: Thank you Ava: Don't mention it, I had a good time Ava: think the girls did too 😌 James: because of you James: which is why I had to mention it Ava: It's okay, making cupcakes and crafts was bound to be more fun than my history essay Ava: easy choice, really Ava: how are you now? apart from exhausted James: still astonished that Teddy helped to clear up, even though your cousin did most of it Ava: it's amazing what a boy will do to keep a girl happy, right James: whatever you're hinting at, I'll do it Ava: 😱 do you think I'm that sort of girl?! 😂 James: I don't think I'm exhausted enough to fall into the trap of such a clearly trick question Ava: Then maybe you didn't party/clean hard enough 🤔 James: I'll happily send you evidence of me scrubbing the bath until it's less blue if you like James: but somehow I doubt that is what you're contemplating Ava: An interesting proposition Ava: but who decided baths had to be white anyway Ava: I say keep it James: hopefully whoever rents this place after we've gone will agree with you Ava: I'll bring 'round the spare bicarb, that'll work James: there'll be some in the cupboard, from all the baking recipes Jay's school sends insisting she needs it Ava: I guess I'll have to think of another excuse to come see you soon then James: wanting to is enough Ava: I'd have to be a fool to not want that James: though after today, less so James: I'm very sorry about my family Ava: They aren't your fault James: nevertheless James: & speaking of excuses, my sister told me she's pregnant again as one for her behaviour before I could properly challenge her for it Ava: Oh that's a shame, I could have implied she was just fat by asking Ava: but no, really Ava: I can handle it, it's not as if my family are particularly supportive about us either James: you'll have other chances before her official announcement, I'm sure Ava: not my style Ava: it'll be nice, for the girls to have more cousins their age James: but to hear her speak, there's already a very distinct possibility that this child has surpassed every single one of their age appropriate milestones whilst in utero Ava: 🙄 Ava: if anything that just means more pain on the way out, no Ava: not that underdone is the preference but you know James: she'll have scheduled the caesarean the moment there was evidence of a pink line Ava: guess she's confident in her ab-building post-baby workout then James: confidence has never been lacking as far as she's concerned Ava: I can tell Ava: like your dad, like you said James: yes Ava: I'm sorry Ava: that they tried to...whatever they were attempting to do, or if it was even intentional behaviour Ava: but I think the party still went well where it mattered James: there isn't a single thing for you to apologise for James: it did go well Ava: I'm not trying to add more tension or friction to proceedings when it already comes so naturally James: you didn't, in fact, by being there you managed to diffuse it James: I would have been a lot more stressed had you not been Ava: Good Ava: and she didn't show up Ava: so what more could we ask for James: my parents & sister following suit perhaps James: but that won't be much to ask once we move further than a stone's throw out of their shadow Ava: leaving the postcode for less than Monaco? Ava: unlikely Ava: I keep looking at places Ava: everything goes so fast, it's crazy, by the time I go to send the link, it's gone James: I've secured a viewing after work for the day after tomorrow, if you're free you're more than welcome to come James: [sends her a link] Ava: Wow, that's so exciting Ava: are you excited James: I'm cautiously optimistic Ava: That's such a you way to put it 😊 James: oh is it? Ava: Yes Ava: I like it James: I like that you're unabashed in your excitement Ava: You deserve exciting things to be happening Ava: there's nothing better than a new place for a fresh start James: if it were that simple, I'd agree with you that nothing could be better Ava: No, I know Ava: new floors and four walls doesn't fix everything Ava: but it is something you CAN do Ava: along with all the things you already are, and continue to do James: I want you to be right, but I can't help but feel that it's just a new location to hide in, because of all the things I can't change Ava: You aren't the one that ran away Ava: and no one can say that Ava: but you're better, even without the comparison to her which leaves you looking practically saint-like James: only because there is no amount of distance I can put between your brother & I which would alter the facts or the future as it is shaping up to be Ava: he's being so Ava: stubborn and stupid James: all day my thoughts kept circling back to the idea that this time next year everything could be different James: she might not be here James: I don't know what to do Ava: That won't happen Ava: we won't let it James: you wanting it to be a promise you can make or me wanting what you're saying to be true might not be enough James: I know how stubborn he is Ava: that doesn't mean that he can make a judge agree with him Ava: neither does the fact he's training to do as much Ava: you've raised her, you're her dad James: that alone doesn't mean I can guarantee anything either James: while raising her I've made a lot of mistakes Ava: no Ava: not nowhere near enough or the type that warrants anyone taking her away James: you didn't know me before rehab Ava: neither did my brother Ava: who's he going to call as a character witness, Chloe? James: he did, but I'll admit that the past is less of a pressing concern right now compared to the struggle of the present James: & the ease of getting wasted Ava: Hardly Ava: what kind of friend was he by that point Ava: he didn't tell you that Chloe had told him he was the father before you, did he? Ava: he has no room to judge, on any level Ava: he still does worse James: regardless, I can't blame him for judging me James: because I don't think there's worse than the things I consider doing whenever there's the briefest moment such as this, when they're asleep James: recovery is constant & truly exhausting Ava: Maybe you can't, but I can Ava: exactly Ava: it shows strength of character Ava: I'm just saying, if he takes it there, which, I'd hope not but no, I can't even pretend to promise that right now Ava: he can't be throwing around those sort of accusations like he's got nothing that would look worse under scrutiny James: it's a weakness of character James: & I don't want my flaws to extend to driving any kind of wedge between you & your brother James: or to have to expose any of his, irrespective of what they are James: being free of her finally means I no longer have to play any of those games Ava: admitting and dealing with it isn't Ava: I know Ava: it's horrible to think about, especially when it is so soon after she left, and how that has barely registered Ava: but if you have to, you'll do whatever you need to, right Ava: I mean, as long as it doesn't hurt her, then you have to James: I don't want to do anything that hurts you either Ava: It's not about me though James: he's your brother Ava: That doesn't mean I'm going to endorse his bad choices Ava: not for an easy life Ava: and not at the expense of yours, or Jay's, of course James: they aren't choices any of us should have to make Ava: no, we shouldn't Ava: but he has to be on board with that too Ava: he can't rush and force what he thinks he wants, without any regard for the rest Ava: just because the whole situation was fucked from the start James: he wants to meet her, I keep saying no Ava: Have you told her anything yet? Ava: Not saying 'yet' like you need to or there's a timescale here, you know what I'm trying to ask James: if there were a right time, it wouldn't be now James: she's coping well with her mother's absence but she's nevertheless having to cope James: I'm not going to give her something else to contend with until circumstances change, whether that's because of your brother or a more positive development Ava: Totally Ava: it's a lot already Ava: he should be thinking the same way James: he seems to, when we speak about it James: I can't blame him for wanting to get to know her though James: clearly that's my dad bias but anyone who doesn't is missing out Ava: she's a good kid James: you're good with her & for her James: I can't remember the last time she was as happy as she's been over the last few days Ava: that makes me happy too James: oh good, because I haven't yet asked how you are James: I'm sorry Ava: don't be James: it's important James: my family believes I see you as an unpaid problem solver & I have no desire to prove them right to any degree Ava: you know that I know that that's not how it is though Ava: I understand, you've got way too much going on in your head right now to be too concerned with the pleasantries Ava: I can do without James: just because you can doesn't mean you should James: this matters to me, you, us James: we're not an us if it's just me using you as a sounding board Ava: You don't Ava: and I know it matters because you wouldn't trust me with any of this if it didn't Ava: you've been there for me whenever I've needed you too, my problems are just smaller scale, on the whole Ava: doesn't make it one-sided James: okay James: as long as you know Ava: I promise Ava: I wouldn't hate some alone time with you soon though James: how soon can you do? Ava: I have to go to Dublin this weekend Ava: but Thursday I don't have any afternoon lessons, so if you could do something then? James: I'll pick you up James: if necessary I'll do extra work when you're in Dublin Ava: you're so lovely James: no, I missed you the second you left, that's all Ava: I missed you too Ava: not being able to talk properly Ava: I hate that about parties James: me too James: but you were a vision in your party outfit Ava: you think so? Ava: you can be a monster again any time you like 😋 James: yes, I very much think so James: you looked beautiful Ava: you'll make me blush James: I hope so, despite not being there to see it Ava: in terms of photographic evidence, definitely more fun than the clean bath James: unless I were in it, alas I'm not sure I'd fit Ava: Oh babe that's so sad Ava: the world doesn't cater to people your size, how rude 🥺 James: I'll try if you promise to drop whatever you're doing & help free me should the unthinkable occur James: & thankfully hotels do, so I won't have to see that face on Thursday Ava: Of course Ava: we have to protect your modesty and decency at all costs 🤭 Ava: hotel, you say? James: yes, that way we'll both fit James: without any kind of farce or firefighters getting involved Ava: I did say alone time Ava: no 🚓 🚑 🚒 allowed James: not in this chapter, I promise James: it's not that kind of book Ava: It doesn't have to be tasteful Ava: I don't think the readers will mind James: I'll bear that in mind Ava: Please do James: while I've got things under consideration, would you like to stay over? James: I can arrange taking you to school on Friday morning Ava: Um, yes Ava: of course James: okay, I'll ask Diana to watch the girls James: after today it's the least she can do Ava: Is she usually better when I'm not there? James: no James: she'll happily find a grievance with whoever is Ava: well, at least it isn't personal Ava: don't know if that's worse, actually James: plenty were tailored to you personally if that makes you feel any better Ava: it's understandable, I suppose Ava: if I was who they thought I was James: my ex wife was everything they thought she was & it did nothing to help me Ava: yeah James: I have my opinions on my sister's husband & I keep them to myself Ava: he wasn't there, was he? James: there's a slim chance you'll be able to meet him at her baby shower, but he wasn't at the last one Ava: I'm sure the chances I'll be invited are even slimmer Ava: sounds delightful though James: oh she'll invite you, if only to show you how a party should be thrown Ava: 😏 Ava: it's a good thing I already know baby shower etiquette then Ava: been to enough James: you'll have to teach me what it is Ava: Very modern of her to want any men there Ava: usually they object on the fact of it being 'women's business' and it's like a hen party with no alcohol James: Matilda's & Jay's were both like that Ava: Yeah, I can see that James: there was obviously champagne though James: I assumed that was why I wasn't invited Ava: Oh yeah, the other guests can get hammered Ava: and the mum has to lowkey cry about it the whole time, but all the gifts and attention you get should really make up for it Ava: they're weird, honestly, another excuse for all of the above James: the horrific flashbacks of said crying & attention have returned to me, thank you for that Ava: 😬 Ava: you can have a baby shower now if you would like Ava: I'll look up all the ridiculous games Ava: you earnt it James: you're the one who has earned anything you'd like James: there wouldn't have even been a party today if not for all the work you put in Ava: all I like is being with you Ava: it was worth it James: you know I don't want you to leave, it upsets me that you're not here now Ava: Same Ava: I wish I could be James: did you finish your homework? Ava: not quite, my parents wanted to talk to me for ages Ava: which really goes against their concerns being my schoolwork but there we go James: well, I'm very concerned about your schoolwork & ensuring you don't have to go to Kings after all, so if there's anything I can do to help Ava: I'll tell them Ava: that will no doubt but their mind at ease Ava: it's not even that hard, I'm just lacking motivation James: of course James: I went there too, none of the work was ever that hard Ava: they'd like you to believe the oxbridge admissions day others but Ava: we know the truth James: I'd like to know what would motivate you Ava: Well Ava: maybe we could do lunch or something before Thursday Ava: that is forever away James: it certainly does feel like it Ava: or we can walk Frank or I'll come 'round for dinner Ava: just say I can see you before then and I'll get it done James: we can do every single one of those things once you have Ava: 😍 Ava: Okay, I'll do it Ava: as you're so inspirational James: as we've discussed, I don't want things to be one sided James: & you're the most encouraging person I've ever met James: I've never found someone to be this stimulating before, it's a remarkably unfair contest for my capabilities James: thus I'm motivated to keep motivating you Ava: I love being with you so much James Ava: I can't wait for your life to be exactly what you want it Ava: it is going to happen, I'm so sure of it James: before you I didn't even know how my life could hypothetically be bearable, never mind thinking about how I may have wanted it in its ideal James: you build character, Ava James: I love you so much, but also I can stand who I am now, with you Ava: you're doing all the work though Ava: to totally restart, that's amazing you know Ava: and I love you too James: because you prompted it Ava: as long as you're taking your credit too, I can deal with that James: I need you to know that I couldn't do this without you, back then or now James: & how much I appreciate you is in line with that Ava: Good thing you've got me Ava: and good thing that's what we both want Ava: everything else we can work out together James: it's the most perfect thing James: hence I'm still working out how to do any of it justice with a novel Ava: Words are your speciality Ava: even if it takes a lifetime, that's time we have James: & if nothing else it puts your current writer's block into perspective James: you definitely won't be forced to do homework forever Ava: 😅 very true James: because of course my struggle is consistently greater than yours, darling James: there's a long line of people waiting to tell us, lest we forget Ava: but of course Ava: only have to worry about when my next assignment is due and how to wear my hair, thank god 💁 James: thank god Jay didn't insist you turn yours blue as well James: getting you sent home for violating the dress code wouldn't endear your parents to me Ava: I don't think I'd look anywhere as near as cool Ava: talk about a real party faux pas James: as far as she's concerned you're incapable of committing one, or any wrong at all Ava: no pressure 😅 Ava: she's so cute Ava: and funny James: she wants to get her hair cut next, as long as you say you like it when I eventually take her, you'll continue to be her favourite person Ava: Ooh, that's a big one Ava: how is dad feeling about it? James: hypothetically less hair to fight to get a brush through sounds like a fantastic idea James: but actually, I don't know Ava: she'll love it Ava: you will too Ava: though it'll be a total shock James: I'll be the sentimental fool, frantically trying to catch a lock to keep before it hits the floor, undoubtedly Ava: 🥺 You're adorable Ava: at least Mattie has a way to before her first haircut, a reprieve for you James: it'll make her happy, that's what I should focus on, I know Ava: you're still allowed to feel a type of way about it Ava: that's what dads are for James: mine isn't the demonstrative type, unless disappointment is what he wishes to convey, but yes James: I don't look to him for parenting advice Ava: You're already better Ava: and that can be a comfort now, instead of how he is being detrimental to you James: thank you James: all I ask is that you don't also decide to change how you wear your hair in the near future please, there are only so many changes I can endure regardless of whether they're positive or negative Ava: Okay, I can promise that Ava: just for you James: well in that case, just for you, I'll ignore the weather forecast & walk Frank tomorrow Ava: 😁 Ava: I wish you could come to Dublin too Ava: we'll be having bonfire night James: one day, I can promise that Ava: I know, it's too soon Ava: I'll buy sparklers, when I get back James: I look forward to it Ava: I won't bring back a jacket potato even though they're so much better off the fire James: true, I remember it being one of the main merits of scouts Ava: you were a scout? 😊 James: yes James: I did my D of E as well Ava: That tracks Ava: you're always prepared James: I don't know about that Ava: Are you suggesting that the D of E was in fact a massive waste of time? 🤔😱 James: I'm not suggesting anything until they approach me with whatever package they deem appropriate in order to secure a glowing endorsement James: King's have certainly benefited from having me on side, in spite of losing you to more worthy rivals Ava: Smart 😏 Ava: You did almost convince me, and in a way, you still did, just not to their benefit James: I can't in good conscience take credit for the persuasive charm of The Vault James: or pretend as though I wasn't the one being utterly convinced by you Ava: Of course, those dizzying highs are unparalleled and cannot be replicated anywhere else Ava: and just as obvious is my conniving seduction of you, as pointed out with pointed looks and silences James: it is a relief to hear that high school wasn't in fact my peak, I'll make sure to really emphasise my superiority in the book's acknowledgements Ava: If you thought it was possible to peak in that school, I'd have no interest in gold-digging you, would I James: nobody is professing that you're good at it, darling James: you'd have been more likely to target my father's bad marriage if so Ava: I'm so sad for myself Ava: tragically bad at it, really James: unfortunately we can't both be figures of pity & I've already been typecast in said role Ava: I'll have to get better at it and be more worthy of scorn James: regardless, there's very little chance they'll improve enough to be worthy of where they've put themselves James: though the mock trial is a kind consideration given that your brother is vying to put me before a real one, I suppose Ava: Thank God they don't know James: my father has already baulked at the idea of us moving, if I have to go to him cap in hand to pay for lawyers James: I dread to think Ava: I still hope they never need to be told Ava: maybe that's foolish at this point but James: if it is, it's a folie à deux James: but once I tell Jay I can hardly swear her to secrecy James: & she does need to be told, my delusion isn't that far reaching Ava: No, true Ava: kids are bad with secrets Ava: and obviously, not the kind of thing to encourage anyway Ava: they won't treat her differently at least, right? Ava: as long as they can keep their talking about it out of her earshot too, I feel that's the best we can hope for James: I'd love to say no, of course they wouldn't Ava: I didn't want to be the one to suggest it Ava: even if slagging off your family might seem like the appropriate course of action right now, not that bitch either James: there's very little you could suggest that my imagination hasn't beaten you to Ava: I know darling Ava: I'm sorry James: I try to console myself with the knowledge that there's a degree of inevitability anyway, look how differently I am treated, without any question of being his flesh & blood James: my family have & always will have their favourites, set in & as immovable as stone Ava: and she does have Chloe's parents, who clearly adore both girls Ava: I only have one set of grandparents Ava: you're right, they're going to act however they choose to act, and they can blame it on what they like but as long as Jay knows it isn't her fault and she is loved by lots of people, then that should be enough, and I'm sure it will be Ava: you've found happiness despite them James: & she will too, I'll make sure of that James: do your parents know? Ava: Yes Ava: he told them at the time, as well Ava: so they were less shocked but obviously still James: I definitely won't be welcome at the bonfire then Ava: It's not your fault Ava: they can't blame you James: it wasn't the first time I'd heard it said that I wasn't her dad either, I could've done something when it was Ava: She's the only one that knew the actual truth Ava: the only one that could say or do anything for definite James: I didn't want to know, that's my fault Ava: Neither did my brother James: we're as bad as each other Ava: It's more complicated than that James: it won't be to Jay Ava: I don't think Jay is going to understand it like that James: what I mean is, all of this should & could've been sorted out a lot sooner Ava: Maybe Ava: but none of you can go back James: no, we can't Ava: All either of you can do is go from here Ava: God knows what Chloe's next move will be James: as yet she isn't making any James: there wasn't even a card Ava: It's insane Ava: it's like she's dead Ava: playing dead, anyway James: that would be preferable James: at least I'd know what to say to Jay if she were Ava: It's so unfair Ava: that she thinks she gets to do this Ava: that she owes them nothing James: she does get to, neither I nor her parents can stop her Ava: If her parents know where she is though Ava: they could take the kids to her Ava: but then, I suppose all that would result in would be trauma for them Ava: for fuck's sake James: precisely, I can't blame them for being terrified of the scene they'd stumble into Ava: the parent that stays always get shit on Ava: it's not right, this is her mess and she's doing nothing to fix it James: I'll gladly fix it for their sakes, that is what's right James: they've been through enough with her Ava: and you'll do a better job than she ever could Ava: it's just frustrating Ava: but I know you know that more than me, and do not need telling remotely just Ava: I feel angry on all your behalves right now James: you don't know what it means to me, how much you care, even if it is distressing & distracting for you right now Ava: I know you want the best for me Ava: but in the grand scheme of things, me fluffing one essay is not actually the big deal any of my family would like to make it so we don't have to have a bigger conversation Ava: this is important, you are James: an assignment isn't the issue, it's that everyone believes you're consistently putting my importance above yours James: & maybe if it's that glaring to all but me they have a point & I am asking too much of you James: leaning on you too hard through this Ava: No, they don't want to see it, because this whole thing, us, makes them uncomfortable Ava: it'd be my business if I did anyway, every person in a relationship I know does that Ava: but it isn't at the cost of me and my importance anyway James: okay Ava: I promise, James James: I'm doing my best Ava: You're doing amazing James: it doesn't feel that way Ava: no Ava: but the girls are gonna grow up happy, and then it'll be worth it James: are they? Ava: Yes James: I want to believe that Ava: You'll get to see Ava: that doubt, of whether you're fucking it all up, is just part and parcel isn't it Ava: but things will get easier too, day to day like James: whether I fuck it all up again you mean, because I actually have for so long Ava: but you're fixing it Ava: that's what really counts James: but it doesn't erase my past mistakes, they count as well James: every slight against Chloé is also one against me because I stood by & let them happen James: I knew where she was, where she could plausibly still be James: & here I am, continuing to do nothing Ava: at the end of the day though Ava: all anyone really wants from their parents is love Ava: knowing that you love and care about and for them, put in that work, that's what counts Ava: she isn't good for them right now, clearly Ava: maybe she does get to just walk away, regardless of it being unfair James: you're right, clearly James: I'm sorry, it's been a really long day Ava: It really has Ava: what are you doing to wind down? James: I don't know James: what do you suggest? Ava: Depends Ava: you could try to fit in your blue bath Ava: cook yourself your favourite food Ava: we could watch a movie or some really mindless trash TV James: Beautiful Creatures or Beastly are supposedly a must for Twilight fans James: if you've seen those, there's also The Mortal Instruments but I'm not sure how many of those books got made into films James: it feels unwise to risk getting invested in a neverending cliffhanger Ava: I think they made that one into a bad TV series too, after the films bombed Ava: could be an exercise in how not to do it Ava: as well as relaxing James: really? James: well that's settled Ava: I bet it has such a sub-par soundtrack too James: compared to what we're used to, what wouldn't be? Ava: Precisely Ava: after the day we've had, can't be dealing with that level of excitement James: enough that I don't immediately fall asleep after pressing play will be fine Ava: I'll fill you in on the travesties if you do James: no, after the day we've had, I want to spend time with you Ava: I love you James: I love you too

[team-free-will-oneshots]

Serendipity

Title: Serendipity (part two in the ‘Buried Secrets’ series) Summary: Now that Dean is feeling better in himself, he’s coming to terms with his feelings for you. The only problem is - Sam has feelings too. Would they still feel the same if they knew the secret you were keeping? Pairing: Dean x Reader, Sam x Reader (love triangle !!! also fem pronouns) Warnings: a smidge of angst at the end Word Count: 1,900ish

note; yay here’s part two, thanks for all the love on part one! hope u enjoy!

Part One 

When Sam woke up to a most unexpected sound, he had to blink a few times to make sure he was really awake. Was that… Dean?

Whistling?

Rubbing his bleary eyes, Sam stumbled to his feet and plodded sleepily to the kitchen, catching sight of a clock on the way. Six am. Since when was Dean Winchester awake at six am? But he must have been, for the corridor already smelled of fresh coffee, and Dean’s cheerful tune only grew louder as Sam approached.

When he opened the door, he was greeted to the sight of Dean flipping pancakes over the stove, whistling and humming to himself between wide grins. Sam hadn’t seen him like this in… He paused and wracked his brains, but found nothing stored away in his memories. He’d never seen Dean this happy before.

“...hey,” he said cautiously. “You’re up early.”

“Mornin’, Sammy. ‘Bout time you were awake!” Dean greeted cheerfully, handing him a stack of chocolate chip pancakes that Sam warily accepted.

“You’re… happy,” Sam remarked, accepting the mug of coffee Dean passed his way. “Did you have someone over last night, or..?”

Dean laughed, a real, genuine laugh that had Sam almost reeling in surprise. “Nah, just had a good night’s sleep - it’s done wonders, I feel great!” he exclaimed. Sam nodded cautiously, taking a sip of his coffee before putting his food down.

“Are you having some kind of mental breakdown or something?” he demanded. “Since when are you a morning person?” Dean chuckled.

“Since I realised the value of a good night’s sleep!” he said. “Hey, I should go wake Y/N up. No, wait! I’ll bring her breakfast in bed!” Dean enthused, leaving Sam wide-eyed as his brother bounded down the hall, radiant with joy. Not entirely sure that he wasn’t hallucinating, Sam sat down and took another sip of his coffee. Maybe Y/N would have a better idea of what was going on.

---

“Mornin’, sunshine!” Dean announced, storming into your room and flipping on the lights as he went. You shot upright at the loud disturbance, hand fumbling for the gun you kept on your dresser as your body slowly began to awaken. Dean held up his hands in surrender, as high as he could with the stack of pancakes and cup of coffee in his grip.

“Hey, sleeping beauty, take it down a notch,” he warned. “I come bearing gifts.” He nodded towards the plate, and after blinking a few times, you slowly nodded, placing down your gun with a quiet clink of metal.

“Uh… thanks. Y-you seem like you’re feeling better than last night,” you remarked, stifling a yawn as you accepted the laden plate and mug. Dean sobered a little.

“Yeah, I was meaning to tell you… I’m sorry about that. You were right, I was in a bad place, but… I had a great sleep, and I think I’m back on the right track,” he said firmly. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

You sipped your coffee, shaking your head. “No, don’t- don’t even worry about it. I’m glad you’re feeling better,” you said with a small smile. Dean’s gaze held yours, his eyes softening as he nodded.

“Yeah. Yeah, I really am.” The two of you were quiet for a moment, before Dean cleared his throat and disrupted the silence, following with another happy declaration. “Well, eat up. Cas brought us some more lore to read, maybe it’ll have something about Amara,” he said brightly, and you snapped back to reality, nodding.

“Right. Amara. The Darkness. Imminent doom. Great,” you muttered, and Dean made an amused sound tinged with sympathy.

“Hey, you’re the one who’s always telling me we’ll work it out. Maybe today’s the day,” he suggested, and you nodded slowly.

“That’s very optimistic of you,” you observed, and Dean grinned, shrugging and holding out his hands in nonchalance as he began to walk backwards from the room.

“What can I say, Y/N? I’m a new man!”

You blinked as the door fell shut behind Dean. Well, obviously your hex bag had worked. Maybe even a little too well, but at any rate, Dean being a little too happy was far preferable to the mental state he’d been in only the night prior. You allowed yourself a tiny smile - you were right. Being a witch wasn’t all bad.

After finishing your breakfast, it didn’t take you long to dress and search out the boys, who you eventually found in the library. The two of them were engrossed in the new mass of texts and scrolls spread over the desk.

“Cas bring more stuff?” you asked, running your fingers through your hair as you took a seat across from Sam and next to Dean.

“Yeah,” Dean replied. “He’s been diggin’ into an old stash of pre-Biblical lore. If we’re gonna find anything, it’ll be here.” He got to his feet, walking over to another pile of texts splayed out over a nearby table and rummaging through them.

“Not that we’ve had any luck so far,” Sam muttered, and you shot him a sympathetic smile that he eventually returned. “Have a good sleep?” he asked, and you shrugged.

“Nothing special - nothing compared to the sleep Dean apparently had, anyways,” you said, shooting a glance to the eldest Winchester, who was now pacing as he read, seemingly full of energy. Sam’s nodded incredulously.

“I’ll say. I mean, it’s great he’s feeling better, it’s just…” he trailed off.

“Just unexpected?” you finished, and Sam sighed, nodding. You shrugged. “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, Sammy,” you said, lips tilting in a smile. “It’s about time the tide turned.”

Sam chuckled. “Yeah, I guess so,” he allowed. “Still, doesn’t make it any less weird how… jubilant he is.”

You shrugged again, resting your head in your palm as you opened a scroll and a dictionary, beginning to translate it into English. You were waiting for another headache to crash over you - they always seemed to be worse in the mornings. But, the longer you waited, the clearer your thoughts seemed to become. You frowned. That was weird. Good, but… weird.

Sam seemed to notice your confusion. “You okay?”

You nodded quickly. “Yeah. Yeah, fine, just… no migraine today,” you told him, and he raised his eyebrows in surprise. The boys were used to you going to lay down every few hours, rendered a slave to the throbbing in your skull.

“Well, good news all ‘round, then,” he said.

“Yeah. I guess so,” you murmured, shaking off your doubts as quickly as they arrived. Dean was happy, and you were happy - that was good enough for you.

---

“Alright, I might head on a grocery run - fridge is getting pretty low,” you declared from the kitchen, but Dean was quick to interject.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll go!” he called. “It’s my turn, anyways.”

You shrugged, going back to the library with another cup of coffee in your hands. “Fine by me,” you said. Sam glanced at you for a moment, before looking to his brother.

“I’ll come, too. I wouldn’t mind stretching my legs,” he announced. “Besides, you never buy-”

“I refuse to eat your organic rabbit food, Sammy,” Dean snapped, though there was a playful glint in his eye. Sam rolled his eyes.

“It’s Sam,” he reminded his brother for the umpteenth time, but Dean airly waved away his protests.

Leaving you behind to research, the boys headed to the grocery store. Between the two of them, it only took them fifteen minutes or so to stock up on supplies. When the full bags were packed away in the Impala’s trunk, Dean grabbed Sam’s arm before he could slide into the passenger seat.

“Hey. There was, uh, something I wanted to talk to you about,” he said, and Sam immediately noticed the dissipation of Dean’s playful atmosphere. It would’ve been concerning if he hadn’t expected it - Dean’s cheerful demeanour couldn’t last forever.

“What is it?” he asked, moving around to lean against the glossy Impala door. Dean copied him, crossing his arms as he ducked his head. If Sam didn’t know better, he’d say his brother was… nervous.

“So, uh, it’s kinda about Y/N…” Dean stammered. “No, it- it is about Y/N.”

Sam looked at Dean expectantly, and the eldest Winchester exhaled sharply before continuing. “So, remember this morning, you asked if I’d had someone over last night…”

Sam’s eyes widened so dramatically Dean was shocked they hadn’t popped out of his skull. “You and Y/N?!” he exclaimed, and Dean quickly shook his head.

“No, no, of course not! Nothing like that. Well, something like that. Kinda that. But- no. We didn’t sleep together,” Dean eventually clarified, and Sam’s pounding heart slowed as he relaxed infinitesimally.

“Okay…” Sam said warily. “So… what about her?”

“Well, that got me thinking, and, I, uh… well, I’ve kinda been thinking of asking her out,” Dean said slowly, and Sam felt his stomach drop. He swallowed hard, keeping his expression neutral.

“Right. Okay. Is this… really the best time? I mean, with Amara out there…” he trailed off. Dean sighed.

“I know, I know… and I know I have some weird connection to her, but…” He sighed, an almost dreamlike smile sloping his lips. “I really care about her, Sammy. But she’s my best friend, and, well, with how I’ve been feeling lately… I never really thought I’d have a chance with her. But now... I haven’t felt this good in a long time, Sam. Maybe ever. And… I really think she and I could make it work. You gotta shoot your shot, right?”

“I thought you said you’d never get involved with anyone, in the life or not,” Sam said stiffly, memories panning back to the conversation he and Dean had shared in Baby one night not too long ago. Dean shrugged.

“Well, I guess you’re the one who put the idea in my head that night. You were the one saying it might be nice to find someone, someone who gets the life, gets what we do. And for me… I think that’s Y/N,” Dean confessed. Sam swallowed.

Yeah, but… that’s who I was thinking of, too! his brain protested, but he shook off the thoughts. “It sounds like you’ve already made up your mind,” Sam muttered. “Why are you talking to me about this?”

“I know you and her are close, too. I just wanted to check you guys don’t have some kind of… thing that I don’t know about,” Dean responded. “I mean, I wouldn’t wanna make things weird.”

Sam chuckled dryly. “No, we… there’s nothing going on,” he said, forcing a smile despite the aching in his chest. Dean grinned, clapping him on the back.

“Didn’t think so. Just had to check.”

Sam smiled tightly, but Dean seemed too thrilled to notice the pain in his brother’s eyes. The car ride back to the bunker was quiet, interrupted every so often by a cheerful comment from Dean. It was over quickly, and when they arrived home, Sam busied himself with the groceries.

Dean shot him a wink, heading to the library to seek out Y/N. Sam returned his smile weakly, and with a heavy heart, he watched his brother leave.

__________

Read part three here!

Buried Secrets Tags: @clarinette07 @demonsofhunting

Forever Tags: @babygirloreo @calaofnoldor @stealingheartsswift13 @lmpala97 @sebastianshoe @81mysteriouslyme @castieliswatchingoverme @spnlovr73

Dean Tags: @polina-93 @justagirlinafandomworld

Sam Tags: @sammys-dimpless

If you’d like to be added to any of my tag lists, just shoot me a message!

[lovelyshawnn]

Nervous: CEO!Reader x Intern!Shawn (Part 4)

“This was a mistake.”

Shawn’s brows furrowed as panick set in, and he frantically tried to get my attention. He reached for my wrists, but I quickly pulled it away as I pulled my skirt on.

“Honey, c’mon, look at me,” Shawn said in a hushed tone, not wanting to scare me off.

I closed my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose and shook my head, ”Shawn, can’t you see? This won’t work out. Its unprofessional and lord knows every relationship I’ve been in goes to shit. This could jeopardize your future and your career!”

“I don’t care about that right now, Y/N! There are a million other internships in the world, but theres never gonna be a girl like you again,” Shawn said as his eyes looked into mine, not showing any signs of dishonesty.

I sighed. Shawn was only about a year or two younger than me, but he was so much more pure. He was so wide-eyed and optimistic. This was a characteristic I dropped many years ago, which was necessary for fending off competitors and making my way to the top to have the best company possible.

“You’re so... naive, Shawn. You barely know me, and I’m sure you’ll find another woman who won’t set fire to your life. Your should career matters more than this.”

“You’re right. I barely know you. But I know that you always tighten your ponytail whenever you’re working on a particularly hard case, I know that you always twist your rings on your finger whenever you’re nervous, I know that you roll your eyes at everyone a lot more when you haven’t had your caffeine yet, and I know that you’re just as crazy about me as I am for you. So please, just let me know you some more.”

I chewed at my lip, thinking about the possibility of us being together. Fuck this intern and his stupid ability to make me rethink everything I thought I already knew. Fuck his powerful ass, carefully worded speech. His charisma and enthusiasm had me thinking that maybe for once, I could make a relationship work for once.

I laughed slightly in defeat, shaking my head and burying my face into my hands. “Fine.”

“Fine?” Shawn’s face lit up instantly. He walked closer to me until he was standing right in front of me, peeling my hands away from my shy face.

“Yeah. Fine.” I stated simply. I tried to keep a straight face, but my armor was cracked as soon as I saw his big goofy smile plastered on his bright face. “You got one shot at this, Mendes. Just one.”

“Thats all I need, honey,” he replied nonchalantly as he pulled me into his body, wrapping his arms around my waist. He peppered kisses all on my neck, pecking at the red bruises he had left on me just a few moments ago. His innocent kisses gradually became more harsh and more needy as his hands clung on to your body tighter. His lips trailed lower down my chest.

“Okay, okay. Enough of that, Shawn. Its almost 12pm. Go home.” I giggled while unwillingly pushing him away.

“Go home with me,” He said softly, still continuing his assault on my neck. My smile dropped as I looked at him for any signs that he might be joking. Of course he’d be joking, it was way too early for us to do this. But the way he looked back at me, with so much love and hope in his eyes, showed how he wasn’t kidding at all. And even though I knew I shouldn’t, I felt myself giving in to those charming eyes. It just felt right to leave with him that night. And so I did.

When I first walked into his apartment, I was pretty pleased. It was a decent size and well decorated considering the fact that he had just moved here a few months ago. I trailed behind him quietly as he gave a brief house tour, taking in every detail. His apartment revealed so much about him.

At the last stop, he led me into his bedroom. Shawn began stripping out of his work attire and into some comfy pajama pants, leaving his chest bare for the night. I turned around to give him some privacy, which is when I noticed the brown acoustic guitar sat in the corner of the room. “You play?” I questioned, pointing to it.

Shawn looked up to where you were pointing, “Yeah, a little bit.” He tossed me one of his old tshirts to change into.

I catched the tshirt before beginning to strip in front of him once again, “Well, sing a little something then why don’t you?”

He chuckled before picking up the guitar and making his way back to his bed, sitting with his back against the headboard and his legs laid flat, one ankle crossed over the other. I slipped into his tshirt and climbed under his comforter. I planted my chin in the palm of my hand as I watched his fingers strum the guitar strings while soft tunes fell from his lips. The sounds felt so serene coming from him. Pft. Of course this crazy hot intern was also a beautiful musician. Fuckin unbelievable. Could this guy get any better?

“Alright alright alright Prince Charming, I think I’m gonna have to ask you to stop before I try and jump your bones again,” I said jokingly as I placed a hand on top of his.

“I actually wouldn’t mind that, darlin” he replied, placing his guitar cautiously in the corner of the room before crawling under the covers with me. I giggled at his cheeky comment and the light feathery kisses that he was trailing up and down my neck.

I grabbed his face and planted my lips on his delicately. The kiss was passionate, filled with more love than lust. He broke the kiss for a brief second to remove my shirt before leaning back into the sweet but urgent kiss. His hands travelled around my body, wandering over the valley of my breasts before planting them on my waist and flipping me around so that my stomach was against his cold mattress. Shawn pushed my hair over my shoulder to expose my bare back before stopping dead in his tracks, eyes staring down on my back intensely.

He trailed his fingers softly over the small world map tattoo on my right shoulder blade. “You have a tattoo? Who wouldve known..” he whispered.

I scoffed at his obvious jab at me being a proper workaholic,“Well I have to keep it covered up, its not very professional.”

“...I like it. Don’t cover it u around me. Please.” He said, fingers still delicately tracing the map.

I smiled in response. He laid back down beside me, rolling my body on to his so that I was laying on top of him. “Whats it mean?”

“I wanna color in every country that I visit,” I said as I let out a small yawn.

“I could help you with the Canada spot, y’know,” Shawn joked, “Have you try some real maple syrup and Tim Hortons, eh? You can even meet my pet moose back home.”

I laughed at his attempt of fitting in as many Canadian stereotypes in one sentence as he could. But the crazy this was... his offer didn’t sound so bad. The feeling I got whenever I was around him was unexplainable and different from any other guy. He just made me feel content and secure. And thats why I didn’t run from his joke about travelling together, like I normally would for any other guy.

“That sounds lovely,” I said before laying my cheek against his chest and drifting off to sleep for the night

~

The next morning, I woke up to an empty bed as the sun streamed through Shawn’s thin curtains. I stuck my hand out to reach over to Shawn’s side, but to no avail. Confused, I threw my feet over the edge and pulled on his old tshirt before walking out of his bedroom. As soon as I opened the door, I was hit with a strong smell of bacon and eggs. Shawns sculpted back was turned towards me as he flipped pancakes in front of the stove, doing a little butt jiggle as he danced to the beat of the soft music playing.

I groaned loudly. He was making it so hard not to fall in love with him.

“Hey! You’re awake! I made some breakfast,” Shawn said, flipping the pancake onto a plate and shutting off the stove.

“Thank you, Shawn,” I said before reaching over to him and giving him a small peck. He sat by the kitchen bar beside me and we dug in to our food, talking about anything and everything.

“D’you not like bacon or something, love? I could make sausages instead if you’d like,” Shawn asked curiously, noticing how I haven’t touched the plate of bacon since I sat down.

“I’m a vegetarian, actually,” I said. Shawn clutched his heart dramatically and clenched his eyes. “So you’re telling me: you’re extremely hot, extraordinarily successful, and you care about animals?”

I laughed loudly at his exaggeration, to which I earned a soft kiss on the top of my nose from Shawn. “Stop, you’re too much,” I said before realizing that today was a Thursday, “Oh fuck, what time is it?”

By the look on Shawn’s face, he must’ve lost track of time too. “Oh, uh, its 8:30,” he said, glancing to the clock on his wall.

“8:30?! We gotta get to work!” I said, quickly cleaning up my dishes and putting them in the sink.

He followed me into his bedroom as I threw on my clothes from yesterday and tied my hair up in a sleek bun. He grabbed his go to work outfit as I ran into the restroom and brushed my teeth with his extra toothbrush. After I was finished, I grabbed my purse and we walked out the door to my car. The ride to work was filled with music flowing through the speakers as we hummed and sang certain parts.

Parking my car, I looked over to Shawn,”You can go in first.”

Shawn scrunched up his eyebrows in confusion, “What? Why?”

“I just... I don’t want everyone to know about this. Yet.”

Shawn was a little bit hurt at that statement, but he nodded and silently left the car anyways. He thought it was unbelievable that he was deep in my guts and making me moan his name into his ear just last night, and now I want to act like none of it happened.

I watched him leave before grabbing my spare work clothes in the trunk and changing discreetly in my car. I waited about 5 minutes before trailing into the building and up the elevator. As soon as the elevator doors opened, Arlene was quick to meet me at the entrance with todays schedule. “I did some more research about that company you wanted to invest to and I emailed you some notes, you have a meeting with Mark from HR at 10 and Tiffany from finances at 11.“

I took in this info as I walked with Arlene into my office, making it a point to not even glance in Shawn’s direction to not raise any suspicion. He noticed this action, sighing at how cold I was acting.

“You seem a bit distracted, is everything okay?” Arlene’s voice broke through my thoughts. I debated on whether or not to tell her about my night with Shawn. She was one of my best friends, afterall. But for some reason, I didn’t want to tell her just yet in fear of her judgemental reaction.

“Huh? No, I’m fine. I just need my coffee,” I said, turning on my computer to start looking through my emails.

“Alright, whatever you say boss. I’ll have Shawn bring it in a bit. He’s a great intern, by the way. I think we got lucky with this one, he actually knows how to follow directions in a timely manner,” Arlene ranted. She absolutely despised the not-so-bright intern we had last summer, who didn’t even last the whole summer in this fast paced work environment before getting terminated.

“Yeah I’m really lucky to have him,” I said without thinking before I said it, “I mean, we. We’re really lucky to have him. This whole office is lucky to have him.”

Arlene stared at me trying to save myself from that slip up, “...Okay?”

She walked out of my office with no further questions, but I just knew she has her suspicions on. She was way too smart to not know. I sighed, planting my elbows on to my desk and stuffing my face into the palms of my hands. Dating is so complicated. If you could even call it dating, we haven’t even officialized anything yet.

As if on cue, there was a knock on my door. “Come in,” I called out.

Shawn walked in with my usual cup of caffeine, closing the door behind him. “Hey,” he said cautiously, not knowing where he stood with me exactly.

“Hi,” I tried to put on a brave smile for him, leaning over to clutch the coffee and bring it to my lips.

“Are we okay?” He asked in a straightforward manner.

I almost choked on my drink, “What? Yeah, of course. Why?”

“I don’t know, are we gonna act as if we don’t know each other at work everyday?”

“No. I mean, yeah but no, I-“ I started before shaking my head, trying to find the right words to say,”I don’t know. I’m sorry. I just, I’ve never done this before. Even with other guys that didn’t work with me, I never let the office know of my personal relationships. But then theres you, sitting just a few feet away from me with that stupid curly hair that looks so good between my thighs and that stupid cute smile that I can’t resist and, I just, I don’t know, okay?”

I watched his face change from extremely confused to understanding to amusement. “You think I’m cute?” he teases, walking towards me.

I rolled my eyes but laugh nonetheless, “Is that really all you got from that speech?”

He nodded, leaning in to kiss me. His hands were quick to land on my waist, pulling me closer to his body. In return, I wrapped my hands around his neck and began to kiss down his neck, harshly sucking on his sweet spot and leaving a light bruise. He whimpered whenever my tongue would graze across the spot where his shoulder met his neck. “Please touch me, fuck,” he breathed out with his head thrown back and eyes shut. I smirked at his response but decided not to give him what he wanted just yet.

I unbottoned his slacks, pushing them down along with his boxers to free his member of its tight constraint. I lightly stroked it, feeling it get harder under my touch. “Mm, thank you, thank you,” Shawn whined into our kiss. I smiled against his soft lips, he didn’t think I was actually going to give it to him that easily, did he? Poor guy.

My hands wrapped around his, dragging it down his body to meet with his hard cock. I unlocked our lips from the kiss and leaned back, crossing my arms. “I want you to touch yourself,” I smirked at the bewildered look on his face. His face was flushed and his eyes were wide. He was stunned. He’d never done this in front of anyone, ever. He stood there hoping I was going to say that I was just joking or fucking with him.

“I said, touch yourself. And don’t come until I say you can. Are you going to be a good boy or am I going to have to punish you?” I repeated with an assertive tone.

Shawn shook his head no before taking his member in his head and stroking the tip out of fear of what his “punishment” would be, as if this wasn’t already punishment. To touch himself while I was stood right in front of him, not willing to even lay a finger on him, seemed like the worst punishment he could think of right now. But nonetheless, he did it and he admitted that he liked it.

He pumped his cock in his fist harder watching me unbotton my silk dress shirt, revealing a pink lacy bra. “Oh shit,” he breathed out looking at my sexy body.

I got down on my knees in front of him, batting my eyelashes up at him. I cupped my breasts, “D’you want to come on my tits, baby?”

His mouth was agape, small moans and whimpers falling out at the sight of me on my knees in front of again. “Yes, fuck yes,” He moaned as he felt his climax rushing towards him like an avalanche.

“Well thats too bad, isn’t it? Stop touching yourself. Now.” I said, getting back up on my feet.

Shawn’s brows furrowed immediately. He was so close, so fucking close. I tugged his arm away from his member as he gasped at the close rush he had. He took his lip in between his teeth, biting down to ease his nerves after being edged like that.

I sat Shawn down on my desk before I climbed on top, grinding on his crotch with my lace clad pussy. I was still fully clothed, skirt rising up as I grinded on his fully naked body. He balled his fists hard until they turned white to try and resist the urge to pull my panties to the side and slip his cock in my wet pussy. He was absolute putty beneath my touch, letting out a string of whines. When I started to circle my hips in figure eights, that almost send Shawn all the way over the edge. “Fuck! Please, please let me come holy shit,” Shawn moaned. His climax felt like it was coming on even stronger than before. He leg muscles were clenched as he prepared to see white, before I lifted my hips up and restrained from giving him any friction again, edging him close to his orgasm once again.

“No, ba-“ Shawn started, but he was interrupted by a knock on my door.

“Mrs. Y/L/N, you have a visitor.”

taglist: @vxidnik @justjustyncase @onemorekissisallittakes @kindadefinitely-fucked @hollandechart @imfreefallinall @ashwarren32 @nevermindmisha @winterparker @kinglyhemmings @unhealthyobsessionwithmarvel @alinashawn @peruvian-bae

[mincedpeaches]

stream of consciousness about this year, the new year and the future

For the past couple of years I have posted vague New Years Revolutions and of course, not met them.

2019 was a pretty shit year for me. Mostly because of work. It funny to me when people post about their hobbies, goals, etc, when being a single functioning adult takes up so much of my time, I wonder when they have time to do these things? What is it at the expense of? Everyone joking about how tired they are online I genuinely think everyone online doing shit is doing it at the expense of sleep. I don’t want to be tired all the time.

Anyway so my New Years Revolution is to just stay the course and maybe see what else happens. I got back into working out this month and it is so important for keeping my mood up. I stopped for a while because I was putting in so many hours at work and coming home late and I was so worked up about work I wanted time for me to not think about work before going to bed, which meant staying up later and not making a morning workout. Earlier in the year I also wasn’t working out only because of the second thing, I wanted more time to forget about work since it was stressing me out. I can’t let work dictate my moods so much. Its hard when work is like 70% of your life but. I gotta. That’s my resolution I think actually. More than anything. Don’t let work dictate my whole life. 

Work this year was basically three different projects one after the other. The first two were categorized as “dread-inspiring” as in I hated the design I was doing an not confident in it, and had my usual anxiety about bringing up issues and voicing concerns, and the first of the two also had big visibility on the schedule. I was an anxious mess working the first one. Then the second one I was anxious but it didn’t have a schedule issue, so I spent alot of time dragging my feet and not focusing like I needed to. Like my attention span needs the deadline to keep me working productively but also I hate because it stresses me out? r.i.p.

The final project was 100% “anger-inspiring” because I was back in a design space I was familiar with but I was pulled to another program to help because they botched their schedule, and coming on the design was a mess and management was useless. Every day I was annoyed by how they would ask for things that were completely unreasonable or do things that were not in the best interest of getting the work done. Also the amount of work they gave me coming on I told them it was alot for one person and asked for help, but because of the shuffle of people and budget and other bullshit I didn’t get that help for a month. That’s where all the hours came in. New Year’s Resolution to not do that shit again. I don’t want to sit in the office til past 9pm ever again so help me Lord. 

At the time and even now I think the anger was a better feeling then the dread and anxiety mentally. Sometimes feeling righteous anger can feel good. Except I very quickly got exhausted from it. Being angry all the time was so damn draining!!

I’m back on my home program again in 2020. I really hope the things I work don’t stress me out. I’ve been thinking about applying to another group in my company when positions are posted next year. It’s been almost three years since I’ve been here and it was almost three years at my old job when I left. And coming onto this new company I got a fat pay bump. I’m kind of antsy for a change and a fat pay bump again. I don’t know if the positions I was thinking about would come with that bump though. I would really like it because living alone now, its expensive.

Living alone though its good for me mentally I think. Compared to the roommate I was living with at least. I wasn’t as close with her as I was with my first roommates that I had to move out from to shorten my commute. I wouldn’t have chosen to live alone yet if I didn’t have to because money but it was a relief to move out tbh because I was holding in complaints (the FRIDGE), knowing that in a short time they wouldn’t matter.

The other thing that exhausted me the end of this year was dealing with the FUCKING BED BUGS that were there after like three weeks of moving in. 0/10 would NOT recommend. Having to wash all the clothes I own when I struggle to normally do laundry every two weeks was brutal. Going into 2020 without them (as far as I can tell) makes it that much brighter.

I started a thing that I want to keep going, based partly off of an artist’s tweet comic that I can’t find again, where I come home from work and do (1) thing. One thing to keep a respectable and tidy home. I used to always make lists at work of all the things I should do and then the next day not be able to cross any of them off. Now I think about all the things I could do sure, but I only make it so I HAVE to do one. It could be something as simple as “take out the trash.” That’s it. So simple I can’t screw it up. Just take out the trash. Other popular ones include, “load dishwasher”, “unload dishwasher”, “vacuum in some capacity”, “pick out dirty clothes that need washing” (since I always have more than one load worth of dirty clothes), “wash clothes”, ��put away the clean clothes” etc etc I try to break down the tasks as small as I can. Then just do one. This has been working pretty well and sometimes I end up managing more than one if I’m in the proper groove. Resolution to continue this in 2020.

And that’s it!! No more resolutions to watch more shows, or pick up some hobby, or lose some more weight, or date, or whatever. If those things happen then they can happen. The only thing that is required is keeping myself mentally sound, which means: trying my best to cultivate a work environment that isn’t stressing me out too much, exercising, and keeping my living environment clean. That’s it. The bare minimum.  This is not an easy wagon for me to stay on. Once I feel like I’ve been on it fairly steadily, only then will I think about adding other goals. It’s a fresh decade and I have years to go. I don’t want to get stressed out about “wasting” them. 2020 and beyond is about making sure I’m surviving and doing what I want. I didn’t meet my goals for this Christmas Break of media to consume but you know what? I’m done stressing about that too. Some times I get upset because I feel like I’m not using my free time “productively” enough. I don’t like rewatching shows because I could be using that time to watch something “new”. I feel like I’ve wasted my time watching let play’s or youtubers instead of playing a video game or a show with a tangible episode count. But no more. If I end up wasting my time on tumblr and twitter, than so be it. The fact is I will NEVER have enough time. So I might as well spend it doing something I’m enjoying. 

Here’s to hoping 2020 is a better year than 2019. I might look back on this at the end of the year as booboo the fool like I am at the end of this year, but I really feel like 2020 should be better! I’m cautiously optimistic.

[luckyspike]

Creative Mode - A Good Omens fanfic about friends and Minecraft

HEY GUYS WHATS UP ITS YOUR GIRL 

dont hold me responsible for this i was seized with the spirit of minecraft halfway through building a diorite tower and had to write (ie i was bored and wanted to do something different but minecraft-adjacent)

forever filling my need for found families, we have the good omens idiot circus. behold.

---

There was a laziness about the winter holidays - no school, soft snow coating the ground outside, and nowhere, in particular, to be. It was the week between Christmas and New Years’, and Adam was enjoying himself. He had a good Christmas - a few things he’d been hoping for, as well as the ever-constant box of socks and underwear - and was planning on spending New Years’ Eve with the Them. He had, somewhere in the haze of his fourteen-year-old mind, designs of trying to kiss Pepper at the stroke of midnight, but these thoughts were fuzzy and tentative, and kept bumping up against thoughts of Pepper hitting him for telling her she looked “more like a girl than usual” on a day this past fall when she’d worn makeup to school.

He would need to consider it more.

Still, he reasoned there was plenty of time to consider. After all, he was largely on his own for the week while his parents were visiting his older sister in Spain. Certainly he was supposed to be spending the nights with Wensleydale and his family, while Anathema and Newt watched Dog*, but during the days he was free to wander around the village as he pleased, playing with Dog and just generally Hanging About. RP Tyler had already composed fifteen mental letters to the paper and Adam’s father about it.

It was sort of boring though - one could only strategize one’s New Years Eve romance so much - and by the fourth day Adam was wandering with less intent than usual, up the walk toward his house, Dog bouncing through the belly-deep (for Dog) snow alongside him. He was considering how to best while away the hours until Wensley finished with his piano practice, and was lightly entertaining the thought of finding Brian and asking if he’d like to see how far out they could get onto the ice on the pond before it broke and they fell in, when he heard a car pull up beside him.

He turned, and then he beamed. “Hey, Crowley!” Dog yapped excitedly, while the demon waved lazily.

“Hey, Adam. How’s things?”

“Boring,” Adam responded, completely honestly. “What are you doing here?”

Crowley shrugged. “I was in the area. Need a lift somewhere?”

Adam considered it. “I wasn’t really going anywhere. Home, I guess. Mum asked me to water her plants a few times while she’s away.”

“Ah.” And Crowley leaned across the seat, and popped the passenger-side door to the Bentley open. “Get in, I’ll drive you.” He managed to bite back a remark when Dog also jumped in, immediately leaving muddy pawprints on the leather seat. “What kind of plants?”

“I dunno, she’s got a lot. She left a list. Got directions on it and everything.”

“Ah.” Crowley pulled away after Adam shut the door, only sliding a little in the slush around the corner to Hogback Lane. “Having a nice holiday?”

“Yeah, not too bad. Kind of boring, though. Brian’s got his aunt over so he can’t hang out as much, and Wensley has piano practice for a few hours every day and Pep, uh …” Adam trailed off, and then swallowed. Imperceptibly, Crowley almost smirked. Teens. “I dunno, she has family or something.” A thought occurred to him. “Hey, didn’t Aziraphale say you have a bunch of plants or something?”

“I’ve got a few.”

“Only I’ve never watered my mum’s plants before, and she’s got some really weird directions for some of them.” He looked over, cautiously optimistic. “You wouldn’t have a minute to - ?”

The Bentley rolled up along the curb outside of the Young’s house, and Crowley shut the engine off. “Yeah, I have a minute.” Adam beamed.

Adam began to suspect Crowley had more than a few house plants based on the look he gave Adam’s mother’s plant care list when he picked it up. He read down the very-specific list of directions with Adam, and did a lap of the house with the kid, Adam studiously misting and watering as directed. He did notice, sort of distantly, how the demon would linger at each plant for an extra few seconds, apparently glaring at the foliage over the rims of his glasses, but he was preoccupied with the heavy responsibility of gardening, and the quiet hissing escaped his notice. As did the nearly-silent trembling of the leaves. The African violet, for the first time in four years, started to bloom. 

The boy deposited the watering can and mister back on their usual shelves, and stuffed his hands back into his pockets, surveying the plants around the house and feeling the warm glow of responsibility managed. “Wasn’t so hard, really,” he reflected, as Crowley joined him back in the kitchen, setting the list back on the counter by the sink. “Hope none of them die.”

“They won’t,” Crowley replied, likewise sticking his hands in his pockets. “So … family out of town?”

“Spain.” Adam sighed. “Dunno what I’ll do for the afternoon. Guess I could grab a few magazines and read ‘em back at Wensley’s. Maybe play a few games.”

“Which games?” Crowley asked, with the sort of passing interest that adults and adult-shaped beings used when they were trying to encourage a kid to talk about their interests. “I’m assuming video games, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Adam sighed. “I dunno. I already beat the ones Mum and Dad got me for Christmas. I guess I could play Minecraft for a while, start a new world or something.” Something about that - probably the bit about the new world - seemed to catch Crowley’s interest. Adam went on, “I mean, me an’ the Them got our world, but that’s more fun when we’re all playin’ together, so I guess I could just do a single-player. You, uh, you know what that game is, right?”

Crowley shrugged. “Can’t say I’m much of one for video games**.”

“Oh. Well, it’s really cool. You like … you start with nothing in the middle of like the wilderness, and you gotta build a house and find resources or whatever, an’ there’s monsters and you can starve to death and stuff. But you can build stuff too, like cool stuff.” He trailed off briefly, unsure of how his pitch was landing. “I could show you if you want.”

The demon appeared to consider it for a minute. Then, with a shrug, “Sure, I don’t have anywhere to be. You build stuff, you said?”

Adam nodded, enthusiastic, already leading the way to his room. “Yeah, I’ll show you.”

It took twenty minutes to get the console started, and to give Crowley a crash course on how a controller worked. He picked up it a lot faster than Adam’s father had. Probably, Adam reasoned, on account of him being so old. Must have been something like a controller sometime before in history. Adam perched on the side of the bed, controller in hand, while Crowley sat cross-legged on top of the plaid comforter, Dog happily stretched out between the two, already asleep. “Right, so you’re on the bottom of the screen an’ I’m on the top.” He watched studiously for a minute. “You gotta get some resources. If you punch the tree it’ll break and you get the wood from it.”

“Oh. Naturally.” Crowley twiddled the sticks and obediently began punching the tree. There was a pop, and an 8-bit rendering of a wood block appeared on the inventory bar at the bottom of the screen. “Right. Now what?”

Adam paused in his own tree-punching endeavors. “You can make a crafting table, but you have the make the block into planks first. Once you get a crafting table you can make all kinds of stuff.”

This is a complete waste of time, Crowley thought, as Adam coached him along through the crafting table process. And then, I love humans so much, these absolutely nutty things.

It didn’t take long for Crowley to pick up on it. He may have been new to console gaming, but Adam had chosen wisely in terms of introductory games, and he did have the unique intuition and common sense granted by six millennia living among humans. And Adam was, for the less intuitive parts, a good teacher. He chatted the whole time too, about whatever happened to drift across his mind - school, his friends, the current state of international affairs as far has he understood it (and questions relating thereto), things that annoyed him, and on and on. The light outside got dimmer, and they continued to play, controllers clicking quietly in the background, while in the game a house began to take place and then, by parts, look … good.

“You’re pretty good at this for a grown-up,” Adam reflected, after a couple of hours. He had changed position at some point, laying on his belly on the bed, feet kicking idly as he played, with Dog splayed across the small of his back.

Crowley considered that. “Am I a grown-up, technically?”

“Not sure what else you’d be, 6000 years old. You can’t be a kid.”

“True.” The demon hissed a little in frustration when he punched an existing pane of glass and it shattered, and Adam pretended not to notice. “Not a bad game, this one.”

“Nah, it’s cool. An’ you got the building down really fast. Even Wensley doesn’t make houses that look this good,” he hadded, appreciative, as he ran around the perimeter and surveyed the word done. “You sure you haven’t played this before?”

“Absolutely positive.”

“You played other building games then? Oh, or did you build stuff like, in the olden days?”

Crowley paused, and his nose twitched slightly. Adam had learned, over the years, that this was a tell. He was stumbling in to something, and if he wanted Crowley to hang around for any further length of time today, he shouldn’t push. He’d find out eventually. “Long time ago, yeah,” Crowley said at length. “Not that it was similar to this.”

“But like houses and stuff? Cause like, this is a good house. Looks really cool.”

“Not quite houses.”

“Oh!” Adam exclaimed, after arrowing a creeper to death and collecting the gunpowder for later. “Is anything you made still around? Like, in real life? Could I see it?”

“Yeah.” Adam blinked, and realized that the lower half of the screen - Crowley’s half - had gone mostly still. Mostly. The view, such as it was, was just the digital night sky, spinning slowly around. “You could.”

“The stars move with the moon,” Adam said helpfully, after a few beats of silence. “In the game,” he added.

“Yeah.”

Adam swallowed. And then, cautiously, because curiosity was gnawing him away from the inside, and yet he felt like a man perched at the edge of a vast chasm with the winds whipping at him, he said, “You’re not talking about buildings on Earth, are you?”

Crowley frowned a little, and Adam paused, finger hovering over the save button. He might have gone too far. But then, quietly, Crowley said, “No. Never built any actual buildings. Just …” He shrugged. “Other stuff.”

“Stars,” Adam said quietly, and it wasn’t a question. He stopped time, once, Adam remembered, but even for him the memories seemed just a little fuzzy now, three years later, separated in time by years of mundane things like school and video games and being normal. Sometimes, every once in a great while, he almost forgot altogether. Almost. They’re not just old people. They’re not people.

“Stars,” Crowley agreed. “Not a lot. Just a few. Someone had to do it, and it wasn’t a bad job.”

“Prob’ly.” Adam paused for a second and then, because he didn’t care for the weight of the silence, he said, “I think a zombie might be eating you.”

“Oh. Huh.” And the moment passed. 

The zombie was slain, and Adam returned to mining ore, while the weight of the silence lifted by inches and Adam breathed a little easier. Stars, he thought. I wonder which ones. He didn’t ask. “You know,” he said instead, “if you get a console at your place you could keep playing. Like online.”

“Oh yeah?” Crowley’s eyebrows raised. “Interesting.”

Adam set his controller aside. “I can write down what to get for you,” he explained, even as he pulled a pencil and pad off the little desk. Dog grumbled in protest as he slid from his Master’s back and onto the bed. “An’ the server an’ the password an’ everything so you can find it then. An’ you can text me if you forget.” He bent his head to the notepad, and so he didn’t notice Crowley’s smile, just a quick one, when it happened. The paper tore, and he handed the demon the note, scratched in the messy handwriting of a fourteen-year-old. “You know, if you wanna keep playing after you leave.”

Crowley looked the note over. “I might.” He glanced at the clock in the room then, and asked, “Is someone going to be expecting you home at some point?”

“Yeah,” Adam said, scooping his controller back up and returning to the game. “Wensley’s parents told me to be home by five, though, so I have time. But Wensley’ll be done with piano practice around three so I figured I’d go back about then.”

Crowley glanced over with a bemused grin. “It’s half three already, Adam.”

“Well, yeah, but I’m lost down this mine and I don’t wanna lose all the gold ore I got. We have to make a Tower. I’ll come back, then I’ll go.”

“Right, yeah, the Tower.” Crowley’s grin didn’t fade, and he cycled through the inventory to the map. “Hang on, I think I know where you are.” 

At length, Operation: Rescue Adam and the Gold Ore was a success. Adam shut the console off, and Crowley stuffed the note into a pocket. The house was locked up (with one last plant-check from Crowley, although Adam wasn’t sure he understood why), and the demon, the not-Antichrist, and the Dog loaded up into the Bentley, bound for Jasmine Cottage to drop Dog off. “You want me to wait?” Crowley offered, the car idling at the garden gate, while Adam and his dog jumped out. 

Adam considered it. “Nah. I’ll walk. Not that cold out.”

Crowley looked vaguely concerned, insofar as much as he ever looked concerned in situations that did not involve the impending Apocalypse, his own death and/or inconvenience, or Aziraphale being cross with him. “I could wait, really. Don’t have anywhere to be.”

Adam considered it again, but from the cottage he was fairly certain he caught a whiff of Anathema’s famous Polvorones, and shook his head. “Nah. Thanks, though.” Adam pretended not to notice when Crowley sniffed the air - the cookie smell really was strong - and then waited while he swung out of the Bentley and joined Adam at the gate.

“Might as well make sure you get inside alright and say hi to Anathema while I’m here,” he said, as an excuse.

“And get some cookies?” Adam suggested, cutting to the core of the issue, the two of them crunching up the walk together, Dog trotting between them.

“Aziraphale would kill me if I didn’t.”

Adam laughed. “Right. Oh, uh.” He stopped a few feet short of the door. “Uh, Crowley, um,” he looked up to the sunglasses, the carefully-arched eyebrow, and his mind raced a mile a minute. Which stars were yours? his brain whined. Which ones up there did you actually make? What’s outer space like? Are there aliens? What’s it like to make a star? His mouth, after a minute, said “Thanks a lot for the ride.”

Crowley was watching him. Not for the first time, Adam wondered if demons could read minds. He couldn’t have, he didn’t think, when … things were happening. But he was different then. It wasn’t the same. And Crowley had never said anything, but every now and again, he had this Look he could give you, a thousand miles wide and Adam wondered …

And then Crowley grinned, and shrugged, and knocked on the door. “Not a problem. Thanks for the game.”

“You think you might get a console?” Adam asked, as footsteps approached on the opposite side of the door. Crowley rocked back onto his heels and shrugged, but the amiable grin never dropped.

“You know Adam, I think I might.”

-

* In spite of numerous attempts, Dog and Wensley’s cat had never been able to reconcile their differences.

** This was not altogether a lie. Crowley had never played a game on a computer or a console, although he had been instrumental in the development of the E.T. game for Atari. Phone games, on the other hand, were another story entirely, and Crowley was rather proud of his perfect score in Heart’s Medicine, although only Aziraphale knew about this accomplishment.

[morningfears]

I Gotta Ask

Part One | Part Two

Rating: PG-13 (Mentions of abortion)

Request: Celebrity!Reader | Part three of Lost In Japan.

Word Count: 2.8k

Author’s Note: I usually save this until the end so I’m sorry and I’ll keep it short. I wasn’t going to even write this, let alone post, but I got inspired and wrote it and wanted to give this a proper conclusion. It was never my intention to upset anyone.

White noise filters through your headphones, fills your ears and blocks out the hustle and bustle of the backstage area, as you lie on the couch in the corner of your dressing room. Your arm is slung across your eyes in an effort to block out the harsh overhead lights but the pressure does little to relieve the intense ache pounding at the front of your skull. You feel nauseous, exhausted and overwhelmed and a little lightheaded, but that’s quickly becoming a feeling you’re all too familiar with. And as much as you’d have liked to cancel your appearance at a music festival you’d only agreed to perform at months ago because Ashton would also be there, you knew that you couldn’t.

The decision to cancel a show is never one that you take lightly. In fact, you’ve often remarked that it’s a ‘damned if I do, damned if I don’t’ situation. The decision is always either show up and perform, shoving your discomfort to the back of your mind for a few hours, or cancel and be forced to face the questions and rumors that tend to abound. And while neither option appealed to you (you would’ve much preferred to just lie in bed and forget that the world around you exists), showing up to perform came with an added bonus that left you unable to cancel.

Showing up at the festival guaranteed that you’d at least be in the same building as Ashton.

It’s been three weeks since you’ve seen him. Three weeks since he walked out of your home, heartbroken and angry in equal measure. Three weeks since he stopped taking your calls and started sending you to voicemail immediately. Three weeks since he stopped responding to your texts. Three weeks since he stopped bothering to read them at all.

You knew that you wouldn’t be able to see him any other way so you pushed the discomfort you’ve been feeling to the back of your mind and steeled yourself to perform, no matter what.

When you first decided to attend the festival, to accept the invitation to perform at this event for the first time, Ashton had been over the moon. He was thrilled that you’d get to see their new material live, that you’d get to see an actual show as opposed to just a rehearsal. He was also thrilled that he’d get to see you perform your new material live as he hadn’t even been able to watch your rehearsal due to his busy promotional schedule.

The both of you had been thrilled beyond measure, beyond ready to support one another and for the festival itself, but now there isn’t even an ounce of excitement to be found in your body.

Now, as you lie on the couch, anxiety weighs heavily on your chest and nausea churns your stomach as your head pounds. You’re certain that Ashton won’t seek you out but you’re curious if he’ll even look your way should you cross paths. You think that you should get up, that you should go find him, but your body feels as if it’s made of lead. Your limbs feel heavy, your head the heaviest of all, and the idea of actually moving makes you want to cry.

So, you resign yourself to lying on the couch in peace, stage-ready, until the moment you’re forced to move.

Unfortunately, the only person that truly knows what’s happened between you and Ashton has a very different idea of what you should be doing.

You feel a hand nudge the headphones away from your ears before it moves to grip your forearm. “Get up,” you hear as the hand pushes your arm away and allows the light to shine brightly on you. “The guys have the dressing room right down the hall and they’re on their way in. You need to talk to Ashton and you need to do it now.”

Reluctantly, you peek up at your assistant with one eye squinted open. “There’s no point,” you mumble, defeated, as you move your hands to grip the pillow that had been lying limply across your stomach. “He doesn’t want to talk to me. I’m sure he hates me by now and, I mean, rightfully so. Just, leave it alone, Max,” you breathe as you clutch the pillow tight against your stomach and roll onto your side with a quiet groan.

Max huffs a breathe as he watches you readjust your headphones and shift into the most comfortable position you can find. He knew that you weren’t going to confront Ashton. He understands, he knows that you’re tired and ready to give up but he knows (just as you do, rationally) that you have to talk to him immediately. So, without a second thought, Max marches out of the dressing room and steps into the hall just as Ashton passes.

“Oh, thank fuck,” Max breathes as he catches Ashton’s arm, “I thought this was going to be harder. Look, I know you don’t want to talk to her. And I get it. Well, I don’t because I’ve never been in this situation but I can imagine. Actually, no I can’t. I’m going to stop now. Anyway, the two of you need to talk. I’m not telling you this as her assistant. I’m telling you this as someone who is her friend and genuinely cares about her. I’m also telling you this as someone who knows what’s happening right now. So, just. Talk to her, please. I don’t think you’ll regret it.”

Max can see the underlying anger in Ashton’s eyes, can see the sadness and the exhaustion, but he can also see the curiosity. He can see traces of the fondness Ashton always had in his eyes whenever you were mentioned and that is enough to make him cautiously optimistic that Ashton will agree as he repeats a quiet, “Please talk to her.”

Ashton is silent for a moment, weighing his options, before he nods. Max throws his hands up, relieved, and steps away from the door. The moment Ashton steps inside, Max pulls the door shut behind him and decides that now is the perfect time for a coffee break.

Ashton stares at the back of the door for a long moment before he turns and allows his eyes to rake over the room in search of you. Much to his surprise, you’re unaware of his presence. He finds you on the couch, pillow held tight to your stomach and eyes clenched shut. He notices the odd position of your head and sighs as he recognizes the symptoms of one of your headaches. He debates for a moment, unsure of whether or not he should even be in the same room as you, let alone touching you, before he crosses the space that separates you and settles onto the floor in front of the couch.

He studies you for a brief second, takes in the sight of you and savors it, before he brings his hand to your temple and begins gently rubbing. He feels you jolt, shocked by the sudden touch, and gently removes your headphones before he hums, “It’s just me.”

Instead of relaxing into his touch as he’d expected of you, you nudge his hand away and roll over to face him. “What are you doing in here?” you ask quietly, your voice hoarse with disuse. He says nothing and you frown. “It was Max, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah,” he sighs as he truly looks at your face and notices the dark circles that are still noticeable despite the copious amounts of concealer. “He told me that we should talk. But I honestly don’t think there’s anything for either of us to say.”

You’re quiet for a moment, unsure of how to tell him, before you sigh, “Yeah, there is.” When he raises an eyebrow at you, you push yourself up with a groan. Your head is still pounding, it’s making you lightheaded, but you power through it as you focus on Ashton’s hands tapping against his thighs. You almost smile at the nervous tick before you think better of it and bite the inside of your cheek as you contemplate your words.

“I have a lot to say,” you whisper, your own hands moving to play with the beading on your jacket as you drop your gaze to the yellowing tile floor. “I want to apologize, first of all. This is the most overwhelming experience I’ve ever dealt with. I was afraid and alone. I was thousands of miles from home when I found out that I was pregnant. I was hundreds of miles away from you. That’s not how I imagined it happening. I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted children with you. I’ve thought about it, you know?

I imagined that we’d be a little older, a little more settled in our careers. I imagined we’d be living in a nice place outside of the city with a big backyard, close to a nice school district. I imagined we were married, more in love than ever and ready for this. I imagined that I expected it and that the time was right. I imagined that I’d be able to think about it and talk about it and be the happiest person alive. But I wasn’t. I wasn’t expecting it and the timing was the worst. I wasn’t able to think about it without shutting down. We aren’t married, we aren’t living together, and we’re not older.”

You pause for a brief second, long enough to take a deep breath, and Ashton notices your hands shaking as you run them along the tops of your thighs. He wants to reach out for your hand, wants to hold it and reassure you, but he refrains. Instead, he simply listens as you continue. “I realized I couldn’t do that, though,” you whisper, tears lining your lashes, “I realized I couldn’t just shut down and not think about it. I realized I couldn’t just get rid of this child and move on like nothing had ever happened.”

You’re quiet for another beat, the tears finally tracking slowly down your cheeks, and Ashton does reach for your hand. You recoil, surprised at the gentle touch, before you relax and allow him to hold your hand in his. He squeezes reassuringly but you can’t lift your head to look at him. Instead, you keep your gaze on the tile and continue speaking.

“I haven’t had any shows the past three weeks,” you inform him, your voice barely audible, “I’ve just been at home. And I’ve been thinking. I’ve spent a lot of time crying, a lot of time questioning. But I thought about every negative that I gave you, every reason to not have this child, and I fully stand by all of them. I still believe that we’re too young, that we haven’t been together long enough, that the timing couldn’t be worse, and that I’m not entirely sure I’m ready.”

Ashton can feel his heart sinking to his stomach and he attempts to remove his hand from your grasp but you squeeze a little tighter and shake your head. “Please, don’t,” you whisper as you finally lift your head, “please, just keep listening.”

He looks you in the eye for a long moment, sees the sincerity and the depth of emotion swimming behind the tears, and nods as he gently squeezes your hand. He doesn’t respond, instead, he allows you to continue speaking.

“Even though I thought about the negatives, I also thought about every positive that I hadn’t let myself consider. I thought about how amazing it would be to wake up, you by my side and a little mini-us in the nursery down the hall. I thought about how heartwarming it would be to see you sing them back to sleep when they get fussy. I thought about the little things, the birthday parties and trips to visit grandparents. I thought about going on family vacations.

I thought about showering this child with love and affection that I didn’t always get as a kid. I thought about being the parent I always wanted to have. I thought about how before you, I wasn’t sure I’d ever meet someone I wanted to have children with. But now, I know there’s no one else I’d rather do this with.”

Ashton is silent as he stares at you. He fully glances over you once more, takes in the slight bloating of your face and the way you’re hugging the pillow tightly to your stomach. He takes in the look in your eyes, a look that is bordering on desperation, and he feels his heart skip a beat.

“So, you didn’t…?” he trails off, not daring to hope as he absentmindedly grips your hand a little tighter.

You shake your head and he releases the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “I was going to,” you admit quietly, hanging your head and letting your gaze fall back to the tile floor, “but I couldn’t. I got so sick the morning I made my appointment and when I was lying on the floor in my bathroom, I just. I couldn’t do it. The thought of going to the appointment made me feel even more nauseous so I didn’t go. I cancelled the appointment and made one with a doctor to make sure everything was okay.”

“Is it?” Ashton asks, his voice hopeful as he stares at you, desperate for you to lift your head once more.

“It’s fine,” you nod, fingers of your free hand moving to rub over the material of your pants. “We’re both healthy,” you inform him. “I have an audio file of the heartbeat, if you want to hear it,” you offer quietly.

“Please,” he breathes and is unable to help himself as he moves his free hand to your chin and nudges your head up so that he can meet your eyes. “But, first, please tell me what else is on your mind,” he whispers as he searches your face for any clue.

“I know that you want to be in the baby’s life,” you nod, “and I’m glad. But if you don’t want to be with me, that’s fine. Don’t feel like you have to, just because we’re having a child. We can work something out, parenting-wise. I just don’t want you to feel obligated to stay with me.”

“What?” he questions, feeling as if the air has been knocked out of his lungs. He stares at you for a long moment, questioning whether you truly believe that he no longer wants to be with you or if you’re simply looking for an out yourself. When he sees that you’re genuinely afraid, he moves from the floor to sit beside you on the couch and wraps his arms around your shoulders to pull you flush against his chest.

“I shouldn’t have left,” he whispers against your hair as he places a kiss to the top of your head. “I shouldn’t have gone anywhere. I should’ve stayed and we should’ve talked. I should’ve been there to hold your hair back when you got sick or go get you something to settle your stomach. I was just so angry that you weren’t giving this a shot but that wasn’t fair. I didn’t listen to any of the points that you made. I just brushed them off and kept pushing because I want this so badly.”

“I want to have a child, yes,” he nods, “but more than that, I want to have this child with you. I want to do it together, as a couple. I want the three of us to be a family. I love you, doll. And I love this baby. I can’t wait for us to be a family.”

Before you can comment, Ashton is shifting so that he can bring you in for a soft, slow kiss. You melt into his embrace, your hands releasing the pillow still in front of your stomach and reaching for his chest as the kiss continues. You remain wrapped up in one another for a long while, his hands never moving from your cheeks and yours never moving from his chest, until he pulls away to catch his breath and rests his forehead against yours.

“Can I?” he questions as he releases your cheek to hover his hand above your stomach. When you nod, a small smile on your lips, Ashton grins the brightest grin you’ve ever seen and carefully nudges the fabric of your jacket and top out of the way to brush his fingers over your barely-there bump.

“Holy shit,” he laughs, tears of his own stinging his eyes. “We’re going to have a baby.”

“Yeah,” you nod, the small smile growing larger as you feel the weight lift off your chest. “We’re going to have a baby.”

Extra Note: I had a little more planned for this part and for another little short chapter but basically. No one knows (outside of family and friends) until the baby’s not a baby. Like, the baby’s almost a year old and everyone is completely shocked and confused as to how no one noticed or even suspected anything. But they didn’t. And Ash and reader live happily ever after in a really sweet bubble of cuteness. They never post pictures of their child’s face but sometimes Ash will post a picture of Reader holding baby while she looks out at their backyard or she’ll post a picture of baby asleep on Ash’s chest while they take a nap. And everyone goes insane when they figure out who the father of Reader’s baby is and it’s a lot but everyone’s happy for them because they look so happy and in love. Okay. Bye.

Also. I’m sorry for any emotions this series caused. Okay. I’m gonna schedule this and then go watch Daria. Alright. Bye.

[captaincanarygotmelike]

Fic: Doors Open ch. 1

A while ago my lovely friend Gabby asked me to expand on the Unconventional universe and nearly two years later, here we are. This is part one of eleven (maybe, we’ll see). Anyone unfamiliar with the series might want to check out the original fic here, bc this might not make a ton of sense (or don’t, you do you).

Read on AO3

Read on Fanfiction.net

Nothing particularly exciting happening during the first year Elsie was on the Waverider.

She got acclimated to the timeship (both Sara and Leonard thought she made the switch to the future remarkably well) and to her new family. She was truly loved on the Waverider, even managing to grow on Rip — he had initially been unsure about Sara and Leonard’s decision to adopt the little girl from the 1930s, however, as he watched Elsie’s relationships with her parents grow (and when he saw that her removal from the thirties didn’t destroy the timeship) he couldn’t ignore the benefit she was bringing to the team. They all enjoyed having Elsie on the Waverider. She added an element of fun to the dynamic amongst the team.

She played dress-up with Kendra and Ray, Jax was teaching her how to play football just like he promised, even Mick had a soft spot for her. Early on in their time on the Waverider, Mick had proven to have quite a knack for cooking, and since Elsie’s arrival, the two had taken to making meals for the team together. She would sit on the metal counter and watch him chop vegetables, and he would always let her stir ingredients together with a big wooden spoon — he even let Elsie stir things on the stove, even though Sara always told her no.

During a brief shore-leave a few months after Elsie moved onto the Waverider, the team returned to the present time and Sara and Leonard introduced their daughter to their families. They legally adopted her on that visit as well, and she officially became Elsie Lance.

“Lance?” Lisa had repeated when they told her.

“The Snart name dies with me,” Leonard had replied, answering her confusion.

“Unless I keep my name when I get married,” Lisa then pointed out.

“That’s not funny,” Leonard had replied seriously.

Elsie’s fourth birthday came and went. They celebrated it on the Waverider with a big game of hide-and-seek that even Rip joined in on, and a trip to Pompeii to watch Mount Vesuvius erupt.

Not too long after, Kendra said goodbye to the team and they welcomed two new members: Nate and Amaya. Rip was relieved to see that Elsie had not become a distraction for the team, but a motivator. Sara had become less reckless on the field, but had lost none of her will or tenacity. Leonard had grown increasingly protective of his team, even the new members. They all seemed to work better together.

Even though Elsie attended all the team meetings and sometimes journeyed into the times they traveled to, she had never joined the team on a mission. That is, she hadn’t joined the team on a mission yet.

“Time to get dressed,” Sara said to Elsie as she walked into her bedroom, “Did you pick out clothes for today?”

“Uh-huh,” Elsie nodded, holding out a bundle of clothing.

“Pink jeans and a pink dress,” Sara commented with raised eyebrows, “Wow. Really?”

“Yup.”

“Okay,” Sara let out a sigh as she shrugged, crouching down to help her get dressed.

“Miss Lance,” Gideon said as Sara helped Elsie pull off her princess nightdress, “Rip would like you to know that he has called a team meeting.”

“Okay,” Sara nodded, “Thanks Gideon.”

“Of course,” Gideon replied. Then she was silent.

“I wanna play with Kendra,” Elsie said.

“We’ve been over this,” Sara said, pulling the cotton dress over Elsie’s head and beginning to help her arms through the sleeves, “Kendra went back to the real world. Then Amaya and Nate came, remember?”

Elsie shook her head

“Yes you do,” she replied, “You played restaurant with them yesterday.”

“Oh,” she replied, gripping her mother’s shoulders as she stepped into the pants Sara was holding out in front of her.

“Ready?” Sara asked, once the pink jeans were pulled up and buttoned.

“You gotta do my hair,” Elsie said.

“I’m gonna do it on the Bridge during the meeting,” she told her, picking up a brush and several hair ties from the surface of Elsie’s dresser, “Let’s go.”

Elsie bounded out the door and down the corridors of the Waverider, Sara following at a much more comfortable pace.

The rest of the team was already at the meeting when Sara arrived; even Elsie beat her to the bridge, waiting for her in a metal chair.

“Miss Lance,” Rip said, “Thank you for finally joining us. Let’s begin.”

Sara crossed the room and sat in her chair next to Leonard. Elsie stood in front of her, leaning against her legs as Sara started to run the brush through her blonde hair.

“Here’s the plan,” Rip said, “Our latest adversary is taking refuge in the year 2025.”

“Hey, that’s close to our time!” Ray said.

“Yes, Mr. Palmer, it is indeed,” Ray nodded, “In 2025, he doesn’t pose any threat to society, but he is in something like a planning mode. He knows what he’s doing, now he’s just getting ready.”

“So what are we trying to do, exactly?” Jax asked.

“Figure out his plan so we can head him off at the proper moment."

“Awesome!” Nate said, “We’re gonna snuff him out before he burns!”

“Did someone say burn?” Mick asked, seeming to tune into the meeting just then, “I’m in.”

“I appreciate the enthusiasm, Mr. Rory,” Rip said, “but we’re going to be doing this mission a little differently. Think early days, Raymond and Kendra buying a house in the fifties. Some of you will be scattered throughout the city. The rest will be posing as the occasional tourist when necessary, and parsing through the information we collect on the Waverider.”

“What happened to diving in and hoping for the best?” Amaya asked.

“Our success rate with that tactic dropped to a level so low it warranted a change in plan. We’re trying something a bit more strategic this time.”

Amaya nodded.

“So,” he continued, “Our new mission will be taking us to València, a coastal city in the south of Spain.

“We’re going to Spain?” Ray exclaimed, “Cool!”

“Yes, Mr. Palmer,” he said, “Our target is Sebastián Reyes. In 2025, he is thirty two years old, and within the following decade, he will become one of the world’s most dangerous people, joining the ranks with Ivan the Terrible, Robespierre, and Osama bin Laden.”

“What exactly is he doing?” Nate asked.

“What any man of his kind does: tries to eradicate what’s unlike him. For him, it is people under a certain tax bracket. It’s his opinion that a lack of money is the result of a lack of intelligence and poor decision-making. There are, of course, other factors involved, but his goal is to eliminate those who earn under a certain amount, take the money they leave behind into the government of Spain and therefore solve the debt crisis and leave more money for the remaining citizens, including, of course, himself.”

“Why are we only hearing about him now?” Sara asked as she wrapped a hair band around one of Elsie’s braids, “If he’s really this bad, why haven’t you ever mentioned him before?”

“Because, until recently, he didn’t exist — that is to say, he wasn’t the person he is now. Something we did in the last month or so changed his story and inspired some terrible actions from Mr. Reyes. We are going to València to fix it.”

“Who are you placing there more permanently?” Nate asked.

“I’m sending Jax and Martin straight onto the campus of the University of València. Martin will be taking up the position of professor of physics and Jax will be a graduate student in the biotechnology department.

“Do they have a good football team?” Jax asked.

“If by football, you mean the game with a black-and-white ball you can’t touch with your hands, then yes, I believe they do,” Rip answered, “To continue, I’m placing Mr. Palmer in the same apartment complex as our target in the hopes that you can get close to him and we can find out more about his day-to-day life.”

“Cool!” Ray said, “I’ve always wanted to be friends with a sociopath!”

He didn’t seem to notice the bemused faces the rest of his team shot him.

“The last group I’m sending in on a slightly more permanent basis will include Sara, Leonard, and of course, Elsie. You three will be placed in a suburban neighborhood a little outside the city. You’ll be posing as a family who moved to the area for work. I have a spot for Elsie in a preschool and jobs lined up for both of you — and I request that you both actually attend them please.”

“Hey!” Sara protested as Leonard said, “That’s fair.”

“The rest of us — Mick, Nate, Amaya, and myself — will be staying on the Waverider to parse through and organize all the information you collect.”

“When do we leave?” Jax asked.

“Tomorrow,” Rip replied, “I suggest those who will leave us start packing.”

“Where are we going?” Elsie asked her mother later that evening.

“We’re going on a vacation,” Sara answered.

“What’s a vacation?”

“What?” she asked absently, “Oh, right.”

Sara often forgot that Elsie had come from the 1930s. She made the jump to the futuristic setting of the Waverider very well, but part of that was because she was going from one extreme to another; her new home held no resemblance to her old one. It existed in a kind of bubble, separate from any particular moment in time, so Elsie still had some gaps.

“A vacation is when you go somewhere else besides where you live, just for fun. Some people go to relax and some go for sightseeing,” she explained.

“Where are we going?” Elsie asked.

“Spain,” Sara replied, “for a mission. Daddy and I will be working, so I guess it’s less of a vacation than actually moving there…for a little while. Daddy and I are gonna go to work and you’re gonna go to school.”

“School?” Elsie repeated.

“Yeah, like how Sofia goes to princess school in that show you watch. You’re gonna go to school and have a teacher and learn new stuff everyday with kids your age.”

“Cool!”

Sara was feeling cautiously optimistic about the mission, although she would be lying if she said she didn’t feel a twinge of worry about the sudden change in tactic. Rip wasn’t wrong in his comment about their previous few missions not going particularly well, but they always accomplished what they needed to. They had a routine: screwing things up before they made things better. Maybe it wasn’t particularly efficient, but it managed to be effective. Changes in their routine might not go over well, and this was the source of Sara’s anxiety. 

Her main concern was Elsie, who had only ever left the Waverider for more than a few days at a time. This was her home, the only one she had known since war-torn Norway. Perhaps choosing this mission, one that would completely uproot her daily life, as her first mission wasn’t the best idea. However, Elsie didn’t seem too fazed by the prospect of moving to Spain for an indefinite amount of time, so Sara chose not to worry — or, rather, pretended not to worry.

Rip had told Sara and Leonard that, to spare them the inconvenience of furnishing an entire house, Gideon had generated everything they would need, down to the silverware and toys. All they had to worry about was clothes and any personal items that would be missed during their time away from the Waverider. Both Sara and Leonard had packed everything they needed into two boxes and while the latter began dinner (the chore wheel had landed on him that day, much to Leonard’s disgruntlement, as he thought he’d get to evade the job entirely for at least several months), Sara began going through Elsie’s clothes, tossing the ones more apt for warm weather into a cardboard box with Elsie’s name printed on it.

She hit a roadblock when she told Elsie to pick just a couple toys to bring with them to Spain.

“But who’s gonna play with them while I’m gone?” Elsie whined.

“Maybe Nate will,” Sara said, trying to hide her frustration, “You can’t take them all. Rip said there’s toys for you at the new house so, like I’ve said seven times, pick three and put them in your backpack. I’ll be back in five minutes.”

She turned away and headed for the door so she wouldn’t have to see Elsie’s pout (she made a mental note to make sure Leonard stayed away from her room for a while — if Sara thought she might cave, he certainly would).

Eventually Elsie picked her three toys — a stuffed elephant, a Rapunzel dress-up dress, and a set of markers that Sara traded out for a deck of rainbow playing cards when she wasn’t looking because she knew Elsie would miss them more (and they would be impossible to find in València because Gideon made them herself). The team ate dinner together in the mess hall (the last team dinner for a while, Ray realized sadly) and then Sara and Leonard let Elsie have dessert — blue popcorn, another one of Elsie’s farfetched requests neither Sara nor Leonard knew how Gideon accomplished — in their bed while they watched a movie.

“What happened to not letting her sleep in our bed anymore?” Leonard asked quietly, gesturing to Elsie who had fallen asleep about an hour into Bridge to Terabithia, curled up in Sara’s arms.

Sara locked down at her daughter.

“Yeah, wishful thinking, I guess,” she replied. She looked to him, furrowing her eyebrows when she saw an expression on his face that usually signified he was having some kind of internal debate, “What?”

He let out a sigh, “I just was wondering if this is a good idea. We never involved her in a mission before, never mind a new type of mission. We don’t know how this is going to pan out.”

“I know,” Sara nodded seriously, “I’ve thought about that too.”

When they decided Elsie should stay with them on the Waverider, they hadn’t been ignorant to the knowledge that having a toddler onboard the timeship during a mission to safeguard all of time would not be easy. Leonard and Sara had quickly agreed they wouldn’t bring Elsie on missions, not even simple reconnaissance trips — they had seen those go sideways — but that still left the concern of what to do with her when they had to be out on the field. More often than not, at least one person from the team wouldn’t need to go on the mission — usually Rip, as of late — and that person would watch her. Occasionally, however, a mission would require the efforts of the entire team. In that case, Gideon had assured Sara and Leonard she could make sure Elsie stayed safe.

Although those types of missions were few and far between, and nothing bad had ever happened during any of them (in fact, the Waverider hadn’t been attacked in a while — not since long before Elsie came onboard), Sara and Leonard still hated the idea of leaving their daughter alone on the Waverider.

“And I know we said we wouldn’t take Else on missions,” Sara continued, “but this is gonna be different. It won’t be like our normal missions where we, you know, kick ass and then get the hell out. It’s gonna be longer, more strategic.”

Leonard nodded his agreement.

“And,” Sara continued, “I actually trust Rip with this stuff. He’s a dad too. He wouldn’t do anything to put her in danger.”

“I know you’re right, but you know me, I get stuck in the hypotheticals. If something happens to her…” he trailed off.

“I know,” she nodded, “We’re just gonna have to be careful. If something bad does happens, we bring her back to the Waverider — and hey, bonus points: we get to hold it against Rip for the rest of his life.”

Sara saw Leonard smirk slightly.

“I should get Else to her bed,” she said, carefully shifting Elsie in her arms and getting to her feet, “Long day tomorrow; we’re moving to Spain.”

[oceanmastertrash]

the tides know our names- 5/?

gif from @kingsorm

Summary: -takes place after the movie- Orm is working with Arthur to try to help Atlantis move forward when Elara has a vision of his death. As part of an order of Atlanteans dating back to the reign of King Atlan known as Tidewatchers, it is her duty to warn the king of her vision. Predicting and reading the future through the tides of fate has never been easy but Elara is in for the challenge of a lifetime working with her former king to save his life.

part 5/?

Word Count: 1,690

Warnings: none for this chapter

 Read on Ao3

Arthur said, “I think we better have another chat.”

She just nodded, too worn out for anything else but Orm was still looking at Elara when he responded to Arthur, “Indeed we should.”

-

After Vulko, Orm, and Elara had all been looked at by the royal physicians and it was verified that they were as uninjured as they had claimed, they were installed in one of the royal council chambers. It was ruled to be a decidedly more fortified location being in the central tower of the palace complex then the far southern tower that had housed Orm in the recent months. There was an absolute plethora of guards and soldiers patrolling the halls and guarding the doors.

When travelling from the infirmary to the council chamber, they’d been surrounded by reinforcements. It was the prudent move but one that felt ultimately unnecessary. The entire complex was on high alert, no one would be getting to Orm, not today at least.

While the group was checked out, Arthur had gone to see what he could get out of the Trenchers, but again, Elara wasn’t optimistic.

Orm, meanwhile, was restless- the tension positively vibrated off of him. Waiting around and hiding while other people actually got things done was not what he was born to do. It was like watching a caged animal prowling their enclosure: both awe-inspiring and deeply unsettling all at once.

So while Vulko was receiving updates from the men outside in the hall, Elara sat and watched Orm pace. After a few minutes of this he abruptly stopped and turned to her, a question on the tip of his tongue. But, of course, that was the moment Arthur and Vulko entered.

She could see Orm bury whatever he was about to ask, instead turning to address Arthur instead, “Did you learn anything?”

Arthur shook his head, “Not yet but we’re going to keep at it, gotta let them sweat it out a bit.”

Orm was deeply unsatisfied with this but held back whatever retort was brewing beneath the surface.

Arthur motioned to the large table in the room saying, “Shall we?”

“Is Mera joining us?” Elara asked as the others took their seats.

“Nah,” Arthur replied, “She’s still wrapping things up with the Trade Council. Luckily  they saw an attack on the palace as a good enough reason to excuse my presence.”

He seemed almost amused by this but Elara immediately saw Orm’s distaste at Arthur’s seeming disregard of matters of state. But Arthur was a new King still and had many things he had yet to learn.

“I guess this is a good news/bad news situation,” Arthur continued, sitting down.

“How’s that?” Orm asked, a deep storm cloud over him.

“Well, bad news is someone tried to kill you.” He said motioning to Orm before gesturing to where Elara sat across from him, “Good news is we averted Elara’s vision.”

“If that’s the case,”she began, speaking cautiously, “then I’m afraid it’s a bad news/bad news kind of day.”

“Why?” Orm asked cooly.

“Because that wasn’t my vision,” she answered.

“I mean, obviously,” Arthur replied, “Orm didn’t get stabbed but it was an attack in a palace hallway with Orm, Vulko, and two guards. Maybe it was just different because you were there?”

She shook her head, “No. I mean things can shift, but that’s not what happened. That is not the event that I saw. This was something different.”

“Isn’t it possible,” Orm said slowly as he locked her in his gaze, “that you were wrong?”

She wanted to throw her head back in frustration but restrained herself. They just didn’t get it. Were there similarities between what she’d seen and what just happened, yes? But they were distinct and separate events.

“Not about this. I know what I saw and I know that it’s still coming.” She said calmly.

It was like the vision was a boulder thrown into a pool, the waves and ripples were still resounding through the tides, the only change Elara saw was that now those ripples were interacting with those from this attack as well.

“Are you really so certain?” Orm challenged.

Elara stood her ground, looking him straight in his stark blue eyes, “Completely. I know what I felt and I trust in that feeling.

Orm held her gaze for a beat longer before looking down suddenly, almost as if he knew she could read his emotions in his eyes and he sought to shield them from her. The action caused a swell of confusion in her but she simply didn’t have the time to decipher what that meant.

“Well then,” Arthur said finally. “This is officially a mess.”

She sighed. That was the understatement of the year.

Arthur shook his head and turned to Vulko, “what are our options?”

“I think it would be best if we secure Prince Orm until we get to the bottom of this,” Vulko said.

“By secure you mean lock me away again,” Orm bit out. “What happened to all that grand talk about rehabilitation and bridging the gap between the reigns you all were so fond of when mother was here? Was that for her benefit or your guilty conscience?”

“If anyone has been trying to ease their burden of guilt, my prince, it is you.” Vulko replied coolly.

An ocean of anger and resentment rose in Orm, seeking to cut it off, Elara spoke up quickly. “No one is suggesting imprisoning anyone but things cannot remain as they are if we are to keep you safe.”

It was perhaps more personal than she’d meant to phrase it but she’d had to speak quickly to keep this discussion from devolving into name calling.

Orm slowly shifted his gaze from his former vizier to the tidewatcher, clearly loath to take his eyes off of the man who had betrayed him all those months ago. When he looked at Elara, there was still so much anger and frustration in him, it was as if the heat of battle had loosened some of the control he’d been so careful to keep over his emotions.

“What do you suggest then?” he asked, at least succeeding in quieting his rage to address her.

She paused. She hadn’t expected anyone to ask her, but it was definitely a question that demanded an answer.

She took a deep breath before responding, “At the very least, we need to get you out of the city.”

Resentment radiated off of him at that.

“You think I should run and hide,” he said slowly, his words dipped in scorn.

“Better retreat and regroup than stay and be killed for the sake of your pride,” Elara fired back.

He positively prickled at that and perhaps it wasn’t the best way to respond to her former king but the matter was too serious to beat around the bush. Besides, someone had to talk some sense into him.

“She’s right,” Arthur agreed giving Elara a small surge of pride at that. “You’re too visible here- too recognizable. You ruffled a lot of fish scales, and until we can get to the bottom of the attacks, we may just need to let things cool down.”

“So it’s to be exile then,” Orm said bitterly.

“Orm, we are trying to save your life. Stop complaining and let us help you.” Arthur shot out with more temper than Elara had seen him display yet.

It did the trick though and Orm kept whatever bitter retort he had to himself.

Arthur turned back to Vulko, “Where can he go?”

Vulko seemed to shift uncomfortably before saying carefully, “I fear, my king, that not many of the tribes would harbor him at this point.”

Arthur considered that before saying, “What about Xebel? Weren’t King Nereus and Orm allies?”

Vulko paused, “Yes, but it is possible that that might be too obvious an option.”

Behind that careful phrasing, Elara could sense that was not the only reason why Vulko was against that suggestion. The threads of the tides seemed to indicate that Vulko feared what might happen if Orm was entrusted to a former ally. While Nereus had sworn fealty to the new king, it wasn’t ridiculous to assume that the two might yet conspire to dethrone Arthur. Elara just wished the tides would tell her if Vulko was right to be worried.

All this was easy enough to see in Vulko’s posture and how he always studied Orm, it was as if he was always on his guard against possible reprisals. Arthur, however, trusted his mother and seemed to want to believe that Orm might come around.

Arthur spoke again, “What about the Hidden Sea? Mother was able to remain undetected there for years. The Kerathen would be one hell of a guard dog against future attacks.”

Elara and Vulko exchanged a look before she spoke, “This is true but, if I remember correctly, the only way to get to it is to pass through the Trench. And given the warm greeting we just got from some of its residents, I don’t think we could count on them to grant him safe passage.”

Arthur acknowledged this grimly with a nod and the room lapsed once more into silence. No matter what ripples she searched, Elara couldn’t think of a place in any of the kingdoms where Orm might be safe in the long term.

Arthur suddenly straightened causing the others to look at him.

“I think I’ve got it, it’s away from our suspects and it has the benefit of being the last place anyone would expect to look for Orm,” he said and Elara felt a shift in the tides, the glimmer of his idea materializing before her.

No, that couldn’t be right. The tides had to be wrong, Arthur couldn’t possibly be crazy enough to suggest that.

Orm seemed to grow uneasy at Arthur’s expression, “I’m not going to like this, am I?”

“You are definitely going to hate it, little bro.” Arthur said as he burst into a shit-eating grin and all doubts were erased. “Congratulations, you just won a trip to the surface.”

Author’s note: heh heh. This is gonna be great. I have to say that writing angry Orm is really fun. I loved playing with him losing a bit of his temper. Got a bit more meat in this chapter and I hope you all like it. As always, replies and likes are life and I appreciate any you can give me! see you next time!

[forestofbeginnings]

ok so be real with me. what are the real chances of us getting rf5?

Alright. Let me give you my real, honest opinion.

I have no idea.

I’m just going to spill everything I know right here and explain why I can’t really answer positively or negatively. Because honestly, we’ve been getting mixed signals and with our dearest Yoshi jumping down to a new subsidiary of Marvelous (and putting a big question mark on the Bokujou Monogatari series to boot), it’s a complete mixed bag we’ve got here.

SO STRAP ON IN KIDS LET’S GO

So here’s what we got. When Neverland went bankrupt in 2013, we also got news that RF5 had been greenlit and that they were working on a new IP at the time, which we now know was Lord of Magna: Maiden Heaven. Soon after the company’s bankruptcy, Marvelous Entertainment hired basically all of the staff from Neverland and acquired like...everything. Marvelous would then release Lord of Magna, but everything about RF5 went completely off the grid. And its kind of stayed that way since. Some people have said that the series would continue, but we haven’t gotten any evidence of this being true.

However, in recent years, some interesting stuff has been going on.

First was all the 10th anniversary stuff that was going on for the series in 2016. It wasn’t much (though honestly it got a lot more than some more well-known franchises on their big anniversaries), but considering that news on the series had been dark for quite some time, this was a huge thing. I’m unsure how to completely interpret this, whether as a good sign or just a cash-in for diehard fans (I think the themes were paid content while the outfits for 3oT were free). 

Then, around the time of Rune Factory 4′s 5th anniversary in 2017, it was announced that Rune Factory 4 would be receiving both a Platinum Edition (which also came with Rune Factory 3, which was insanely hard to find in Japan at the time) and a Best Collection Edition (which is a budget re-release worth around $26 dollars). These were both released in late 2017 in Japan, with likely no release to be made for the west (and if anyone has a copy of the Platinum Edition or knows where to get one...PLEASE TALK TO ME). 

And I’m just going to be honest. The amount of effort Marvelous put into promoting the RF4 re-release was strangely large. They made its own separate website with a lot of free promotional material made for the release, like comics and promotional videos. And I think they also got some comics made for some different magazines? Like, it isn’t strange to put a lot of promotion into a re-release, since you gotta sell a product, but the new editions were the only products being offered. To make a comparison to a larger franchise, the hype and buildup for the upcoming Tales of Vesperia: Definitive Edition is huge in Japan, but they’re not just selling the game itself. They’re also making a ton of new merchandise to sell to eager fans like me. The Rune Factory series never really has any separate merchandise to purchase to support the series. Most of their merchandise is guidebooks, comics, and pre-order bonuses. And most of the time, the comics are in magazines, so the profits likely go all to the producer of the magazine. 

So I’m not sure whether the release of the new RF4 editions were either refreshing the Rune Factory brand and reintroducing it to the public eye, or if it was just to make money from eager fans. Or it could also be Marvelous trying the gauge the interest of Rune Factory to see if making a new entry would be profitable. 

And in 2018, the mobile gatcha game Ordinal Strata featured Frey and Lest from Rune Factory 4! Which is neat. I’ve never heard of the game. I’m kind of interpreting this as spreading more awareness for the series, though I don’t know what the end goal of this is intended to be. 

Take this with a heavy grain of salt, but there was a rumor going on around the Rune Factory Reddit (yea, we have one) about RF5. Apparently, someone visited the XSeed booth and got someone to say that RF5 was confirmed. The user in question provided pictures to prove they were in attendance at E3. Again, I regard this information as highly unlikely to be true, but I figured it was worth mentioning. Since XSeed is technically Marvelous USA, they would most likely be privy to any information on game development, especially if they were asked to translate the game at the same time as development to make the release dates in Japan and the West around the same time. Though I highly doubt we would ever see a simultaneous release for a RF or BokuMono game.

Lastly, I was looking up the articles to kinda. Substantiate this long-winded post. I noticed something regarding our dear friend Yoshi. 

Back in 2011, Siliconera reported that our good pal Yoshi was working on a game called Dragon Marked for Death, which means that it was in development around the same time as Rune Factory 4 and the theoretical Rune Factory 5. However, I believe that the news for Dragon Marked for Death also went dark soon after that news post (it’s also very hard to sift through news posts when there’s a billion websites reporting on the game in 2018). Dragon Marked for Death wasn’t a Neverland developed game, as it’s being developed by Inti Creates, but our beloved Yoshi was involved with the creation process.

So our main man Yoshi starts up a new subsidiary of Marvelous called Hakama, and what’s the first game listed to be released on their official website? Dragon Marked for Death. And they have two more games that have yet to be announced. 

So right now I’m being cautiously optimistic. I’m not about to put all my money on our boy Yoshi yet, but I’m not about to say the series is 100% dead. Let’s just say that I’ve been waiting six years for Rune Factory 5, and another six ain’t gonna kill me.