#i went to the tag and the first thing i saw was an arse

[twelfth-dykector]

"eddie... we've known each other for a long time. we can talk, and there is something i have been meaning to say to you for the last 25 years. I HATE YOU!! I HATE YOU!! I HATE YOU!!! GO AWAY AND CRAWL AWAY AND DIE IN A DITCH SOMEWHERE YOU BASTARD!!!"

deranged 80's gays you have my heart and soul.

[russo-woso]

hiii would you please write something like arsenal women are playing just dance as a team bonding and reader is really really good at it to the point where everyone is shocked and filming it and the fans make loads of tiktok edits that the team all see and send round each other and reader manages to get viv to join in next time (she usually refuses but loves reader to much to deny her anything) maybe teen or early 20s reader?! thank you!!

Just Dance || Arsenal Women

Summary The girls support you no matter what, even when you’re doing just dance.

“You don’t understand, I used to do just dance all the time in PE. If it was raining, we’d all be in the hall doing just dance. I’m a pro at it.” You tell most of the girls.

Everyone was in the changing rooms after a training session and were all discussing team bonding that was taking place at Leah’s, and your, house.

Being only 17, the team agreed that it wasn’t best that you lived by yourself and so Leah offered that you moved in with her.

Living with Leah had its advantages and disadvantages.

For starters, she had the appetite of a five year old, only eating chicken nuggets and the most basic foods.

However, it came with many advantages that outweighed all the bad ones.

Leah was one of your team mums, along with Kim, Beth and viv, but Leah was the one you were closest to.

With your parents living up north, Leah took it upon herself to make you feel at home in north London.

And that’s exactly what she had done. Now it wasn’t just Leah’s home, it was yours and Leah’s.

“Y/N, our living room isn’t big enough to do just dance.” Leah pointed out, packing her stuff into her bag before starting to pack yours, knowing that you’d forget to do it otherwise.

“It’s enough for me to do just dance and maybe one other person. Come on, Le. Please.” You looked at her, battering your eyelids as you did your best puppy eyes.

Leah loved you with every ounce of her body, but the one thing she hated, was your eyes.

Them stupid eyes had you hooked around her finger.

Leah tried to fight them this time, but as you put just as strong a fight, Leah sighed before nodding her head.

“Thanks, le le. Right, it’s official. I get to show everyone just how good I am at just dance.” You announced to the changing room, a smile appearing on everyone’s faces at how excited you were. “I’m gonna beat all your arses so best get your dancing shoes on.”

“Sure you will mini gunner.” Katie’s Irish accent filled the room as giggles escaped everyone’s mouths.

“You just wait and see McCabe.”

————————

Later that evening, the whole team was gathered round in yours and Leah living room whilst you set up just dance on the TV.

You were going to go up against Alessia first but lessi being the clumsiest person ever, went and fell off the sofa, nearly breaking her neck.

To Alessia’s disappointment, you insisted that she didn’t play, scared that she’d somehow break her leg.

Instead, you decided to just do it by yourself.

Everyone got their phones out, ready to capture the embarrassing moment.

But what everyone didn’t expect, was their phones to capture a moment where you showed them the truth.

You really were a pro.

Finishing with a perfect score, you turned around and saw everyone’s jaws on the ground.

“I told you. I perfected my dancing in PE.”

Everyone took it in turns trying to beat your score but it was no use.

The night continued, and one by one, everyone left leaving just you and Leah.

You out something on the tv as you cuddled up to Leah’s side, freezing cold even though the heating was on.

“I’m gonna head up, le. See you in the morning.” Leah hummed, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Night, tiny dancer.”

————————

“Viv! You posted it on Instagram?” You shouted over the phone.

You had woken up about five minutes ago, and picked up your phone.

You didn’t have many notifications but there was one that stood out.

Viv had tagged you in a video.

You clicked on it, curious as to what video she’d tagged you in, but as soon as the familiar setting of your living room, and the tv with just dance in it appeared, you knew exactly what viv had posted.

That’s what led to a very angry you shouting at your phone.

“It was too good not to post. I had to.” Viv explained, but you were too focused on Beth laughing in the background.

“Beth, do you seriously find this funny? You don’t understand, everyone is making edits of me playing just dance.” You stated, your mouth wide open at the fact they find this funny.

“Kid, you were good. Viv isn’t the only one who’s posted videos of you dancing.” Beth pointed out and you jaw dropped to the floor.

“What? Who else has?”

“Alessia, Katie, even Leah.” Viv responded.

Jumping up from your bed, you stormed over to Leah’s bedroom, banging on the door before an annoyed what was heard.

“You posted the video on TikTok. Out of everyone, I thought you’d be the last one to post it.” You said to Leah, a sense of betrayal in your voice.

“Sorry, kiddo, but I had to. And anyway, the fans love it. Look at what the fans are saying.” Leah suggested and you opened tiktok, Beth and Viv still on the phone.

“Listen, Y/N, the fans loved it. They even want more just dance videos.” Beth stated, as you scrolled through the comments of fans saying how well you did.

“Forgive us now, kid?” Leah asked, noticing how the frown on your face had disappeared.

Whilst Leah spoke to you, a specific comment caught your attention.

We need Viv and Leah to do it now

“I will, but under one condition. You and Viv do a dance with me.” You grinned cheekily, knowing that you were a soft spot for both Leah and Viv, so you knew they wouldn’t say no.

Leah’s face dropped and Viv let out a grunt of annoyance.

After just a matter of seconds, both of them agreed and you knew that this was gonna be good.

————————

“Viv, you’re doing it wrong! You go to the left, not the right.” You exclaimed in a fit of laughter as you recorded Leah and Viv dancing.

The whole team had gathered round to watch whilst they all recorded the embarrassing moment.

“I am going left! Leah’s just going the wrong way.” Viv defended, throwing her hands up in annoyance and anger.

“Follow the instructions on the tv. It’s easy.” You explained and both, Leah and Viv, turned around to look at you, disbelief written on their faces.

“It’s easy? No it is not, kid. This is fucking exhausting and hard.” Leah shouted, out of breath from the dancing.

“We couldn’t all do just dance in PE.” Viv pointed out and Leah nodded in agreement.

“Yeah because you’re both old.” You muttered under your breath, thinking you’d get away with the snarky comment but boy were you wrong.

You heard a gasp from next to you, turning your head to be met with Kyra and a cheeky smile in her face.

“Y/N just said you’re both old.” Kyra snitched and you squeezed your eyes close, dreading what was to come.

“You little shit. You make us do just dance and then call us old?” Leah frowned, hand on her hips.

“Fine. Maybe you’re not that old, but you’re not exactly young.”

“Right that’s it.” Leah grabbed ahold of you, tickling your sides as you helplessly tried to get her off you.

Desperate for help, you called out to your other teammates but it was no use, everyone was in a fit of laughter.

“Say you’re sorry and I’ll let you go. Actually, I’ll stop if you let us have chicken nuggets tonight and not complain.” Leah said, despite the laughter that was leaving your lips.

“Fine, fine. But only if I get to post the video of you and Viv dancing.” You compromised and Leah thought about it for a moment.

“Deal.”

“Hey, I never agreed!” Viv shouted, and you gave her a confused look.

“Sorry, I don’t understand you with your Scottish accent.” You stated, the sneaky comment sending laughter throughout the team.

“Right, that’s it kiddo. Leah, have chicken nuggets for the rest of the week.”

[brn-t]

Thermotropism

TAGS:

eyy where my plant fuckers at? 👀🌱���� you can read it on AO3 here

I don’t think I should have taken this plant home…

Like, when I saw it baking in the sun in that alley outside my building, it’d looked like it had a lot of potential! It was all shriveled but the leaves branched out from a thick basal stem like a monstera almost and there were these bright red blotches on its roots that looked super cool!

When I brought it in (heavy!!) I could tell just by looking how root bound it was, so I popped it out of it’s cheap decorative planter (poor thing was probably never repotted) and yup, there were more roots than dirt.

I had no idea what the hell it was. Inatural had no frickin clue. It looked like a tropical plant with it’s broad green leaves and knobbly aerial roots, but the ground roots were so thick they looked like tubers!! 

I have to admit I was fascinated, but I should have gotten rid of it then…

It spent uh, a couple weeks underneath my shitty little plant light, the one in my room. I was quarantining it in there until I knew it didn’t have any critters on it, but it seemed happy with its repotting and daily soakings for the most part.

The thing really liked water

Like, I started off watering it once a week, and it did perk up, but it didn’t really change much until I started dousing it every morning before work.

And man when it started goin off, it really went off.

It seemed like every time I came home it had sent out a new aerial root or new leaf! The thing was voluptuous as hell! When it got too big for my pathetic little plant light I moved it to the window sill next to my bed. 

It was kinda nice! Like a natural blind or something once it got its runners going up the screen.

I didn’t mind, it was always hot as hell in my little apartment and my landlord couldn’t be arsed to install an AC. I just had to be careful not to accidentally crawl over the little shoots it was sending out all over when I got into bed.

I guess where I fucked up is when I found out about.. its uh.. nutrient preferences

I swear it was a complete accident the first time!! 

I had just gotten home from another 10 hr day and I was tired and smelly and needed to jerk off pronto. I hosed myself down and threw myself into bed, still steaming from trying to scrub off the smell of fried food from my skin, and cracked open my laptop.

Now, fun fact, there's this thing that plants do where they move towards things. Most of the time its towards light, but they can also be attracted to heat! It’s called thermotropism. So I dunno if it was the heat from my ancient laptop or the steam off my skin, but just as I'm about to nut I feel something brush against the head of my dick.

It took me so much by surprise that I came right there, frickin coating a leaf in my jizz. The thing had turned completely around from facing the window above my bed to nearly touching me with its broad soft leaf.

Even for a tropical plant that’s shockingly mobile.

So I cleaned it off as best I could but I guess some of my spunk got absorbed into the soil, I dunno, I passed out shortly after that. I didn’t wake up until nearly nine o clock the next morning because the room was still completely dark thanks to the density of the wall of leaves covering my window. The plant had frickin doubled in size and the terracotta pot I had repotted it in had some fresh cracks in it where the aerial roots were exploding out through.

I didn’t have time to freak out about it since I was once again late to work, but I gotta admit, I was digging the jumanjI vibes it brought to my otherwise very dull room 

So.. I may have started jerking off into it every night?

What! It’s like, natural fertilizer, or whatever!! And the plant seemed to like it? 

I even got it to flower!! It started putting out these crazy flower stalks that closed up during the day but unfurled at night giving off this crazy floral fragrant scent.

It made me remember being a kid and running around in the woods behind my stepdads rental cabin, so I let it keep spreading.

I realize now, this was not the smartest idea, but fuck it, my landlord all but explicitly told me I wasn’t getting the deposit back unless I sued him for it so when it started putting its roots into the drywall, I let it.

It was nice honestly, coming home after seeing nothing but concrete grey for hours and then throwing myself into my little tropical nest. And the smell of the flowers really set the mood when I was jerkin it.

Embarrassingly I think my mind started associating the smell with orgasm because I swear I walked past a florist shop the other day and had to walk bowlegged to the 7D train.

The trouble really started when it started sending its roots in my direction .

Now, I ain’t proud of it, but I more often than not just sleep on a bare mattress. Its got one of those memory foam layers on top and I just couldn’t be bothered to put a fitted sheet on it half the time.

So when I started feeling a bump underneath me as I lay in bed, I just thought it was like, a sock  or something that had gotten shoved underneath there, nbd, until that night… 

I was feeling particularly pent up and kept grinding my ass against that spot on the mattress. I don’t know why I did it, I just wanted more friction and the blooms on the ceiling above me were gettin me wound up with their heavy fragrance. Anyway, it feels like there's a soft tear below me and suddenly something hard and Wide and cold is pressing right against my gooch.

I kinda jump (because it’s cold!!) and look down to find that the frickin plant has grown into the mattress !!

And it was a fat root too, no idea how I didn’t notice it more earlier.

It was kindof freaky to be honest how fast it had grown, the thing really must have liked my semen, but at that point with how humid the room was and how dizzy the flowers were making me feel… I went with it.

 I ground my ass into it and when the thick ridge popped in past my ring I swear I came harder than I ever have in my life dude

I felt like I blacked out a little at the end there because the next thing I knew, it was morning and I'm absolutely painted in my own cum. I guess at this point I should have realized what was going on but I think the pollen those flowers were putting out were scrambling my brains a little. When I woke up, there was a network of thin bright red roots crisscrossing my body, sending out these feathery little things, absorbing the frankly ludicrous amounts of cum I had shot out last night. They pulled at my skin a little as I tore them off but part of me was still a little horny. So I cleared them away and and pulled out my phone.

Fuck it, right? It was my day off and I had no responsibilities that day anyway.

I just rolled over and started going to town on my morning wood.

My ass twitched around something and that's when I noticed...

The fuckin root was still in my ass from last night!!!

I'm trying to use one hand to milk my dick while the other one shoots down in between my legs and sure enough, that fuckin root had buried itself who knows how deep! I tried in vain to pull the thing out, but it was rooted in the mattress after all and didn’t budge. So, humiliatingly, I had to pull myself off of it.

I have to admit, I came a little just from feeling how much of it was inside of me, there was a good 7 inches of thick knobby root dragged out of me, grinding against my prostate as I pulled myself off of it.

I just lay there breathless, staring at the root, sticking straight up out out of my mattress now that it was no longer buried in my ass. My inner walls twitched and contracted, trying to close around the space it had carved out in me.

I guess I still had some sense then because I did actually prune the plant after that

I pulled the root out of my ruined mattress and trimmed all the stalks and roots near my bed. I started jerking off in the bathroom and yea the leaves wilted a bit but that was too much for me, you know?

Well, I don’t know if plants can get pissed but I must have pissed this one off because it responded to me suddenly not “fertilizing” it by sending out these little sticky climbers that got everywhere.

I woke up one morning to the fuckers wrapped around my tiny nipples. I went to sit up and yelped because they got yanked by the fuckin things, pulling my chest to the side. I tried to pull it off as delicately as I could, but the thin stems snapped in half, bleeding a reddish sort of liquid all over my chest!

It sort of burned but I just yelled at the plant, wiped it off and got dressed for work.

Now, I don’t know if I was allergic or something, but for the rest of that day my nipples stayed hard and puffy, poking out visibly from underneath my thin uniform shirt and earning more than a few snickers from the girls up front.

Good thing I had a vacation week coming up.

It had been asked for months in advance, and was the first one I’d had in a decade. I was supposed to drive out to the lake across the state to hang with a buddy of mine at his parents bougie lake house. Well, that night was the night before I was due to head out, and I went to bed in my travel clothes so I could just pop out of bed in the morning. Not wanting to ruin my clothes, I watered the Plant like usual and saved the jerking for when I got to my buddies place.

I was just on the edge of unconsciousness when I felt something moving up my shirt sleeve. I couldn’t tell if I was dreaming it or not so I just laid there, feeling the thing slowly snake its way up to my chest, resting on the sensitive swollen bud there 

I only really tried to react when I felt a second tendril branch out from the first and start oozing that same irritating sap over my OTHER nipple!

Groggily I straightened up, falling for the same headphones on the doorknob trap as last time, but this time it felt a lot better.

My nips hadn't really gone down since that last time so when they got yanked I thought a yelp of pain was what was gonna come out of my mouth, so imagine my surprise when a full bodied moan slipped out instead.

I immediately got super red in the face and yanked off my shirt.

This, unfortunately, snapped the thin tendrils stem, causing it to bleed more of its spicy sap all along my side and chest as I shucked off my shirt.

It left an angry red trail of raised sensitive skin, swelling my nipples far beyond what was normal, and they stuck out of my chest like two puffy toilet plungers out from my swelling pecs.

I tried to pull the tendrils off of them but they were too tight and my nipples were too big now.

I looked up from groping my chest to see how many of the plant’s flowers had opened up above me, showering me in who knows what.

I couldn’t take it anymore, I was openmouth panting, inhaling the perfume and palming my shorts which had at some point started to fill out. I ripped my shorts off too, and only after a few strokes realized how deeply I had just fucked up

If you guessed “that idiot just smeared a sap he’s clearly allergic to all over the most sensitive part of his body” you would be correct...

I was howling in pain as it started to burn, but after a minute or two I was thrusting into the air and moaning like a whore, the fire had turned into an electric storm of pleasure.

My dick was swelling way past normal hardness and I could only continue to try and fuck the hell out of my hand.

It was entirely too humid in that room, everything felt wet and sticky, so when I came finally, I barely even felt it on me

I screamed so loud the neighbors probably thought I was dying I probably did die a little... I think I shot into my own mouth at one point??  I collapsed immediately after, and when I woke in the morning, the whole plant looked shiny and glossy, like it was gloating over the fact it’d gotten me to come for it yet again.

I know it was just a plant but I got mad

I jumped out of bed, completely ignoring the tendrils still wrapped around my nips, put a thick jacket over my shirt and left the room with my suitcase while flipping it the bird.

I felt bad that I would be gone for a week but I’d set it up with a slow release watering pitcher, so I figured it’d be fine without me.

What I didn’t plan on was how I would do without it.

What should have been a great vacation turned into the worst case of blueballs seen this side of the Mississippi.

Not only did my nipples constantly pulse and throb against the tendrils, but I found out later when I went to go use the bathroom that one had slipped around the base of my dick as well, which had also refused to recede back to its normal size. The woody chord was a bit thicker and it wrapped around the base and balls, completely blocking any and all attempts to even get hard.

So instead of focusing on the boat ride or my friends stupid alcohol choices, I was stuck in a constant struggle of being aroused by my throbbing nipples and being unable to address it at all. I was actually filled with relief when the final day came and I was saying goodbye to my hosts.

I flew home after that in my tiny little beater car, shifting uncomfortably at my seatbelt rubbing directly against my chest. I practically kicked the door in, shedding all my clothes in a line to my bedroom and threw myself into bed.

I yelped when I landed on several thick somethings beneath my body creak under my weight, poking me through the thin layer of foam.

The Plant was the worst I’d seen it since I brought it home, with several dead leaves deposited on the bed and an explosion of fuzzy white runners running the length of that bedroom wall.

The roots jabbed into me like it had planned this.

“Ow!” I’d said, “ I'm sorry ok? I just needed a break!”

As a response, I watched a giant cream white flower slowly expand and burst open, sending a shower of shimmery yellow pollen floating down directly over my face.

Things uh, got a little out of hand after that…

The tendrils had finally loosened enough around my dick to where I could pull them off but that just led to all my pent up semen literally dumping into my balls as soon as the tie was removed. I moaned as I could physically feel them growing heavier as a weeks worth of pent up jizz dropped into my balls. They felt like leaden weights.

It was almost painful how quickly I got hard, and it didn’t take more than a stroke or two before I was yelling and releasing said load all over myself and the plant.

You could visibly see it perk up, opening up more buds, showering me with pollen and dusting the bed. The two substances got mixed by my frantic motions and soon I was lightly cheeto dusted with the stuff,

My skin was on fire but it also.. uh, felt really good somehow... So once the high of the first orgasm died down, it wasn't long before I was rarin to go for a second round.

I palmed my recovering erection and was just about fully hard when I felt it.

Again, at my ass!! Was one of the plant’s thick basal roots!! Except this one looked a little weird..

First off it was tremendously thick, about the width of my wrist, and secondly it was covered in all these little backwards facing ridges, like a drywall sink

Man, I don’t know what wires go crossed but between the way my ass was twitching and the pollen I was huffing, I put my ass right against that thing

It must have reacted to my bodyheat because it felt like as I was pressing down on it, the thing was pushing into me as well.

It was intense, there was no give to its turgid walls, so I had to stretch myself out around it to get it past my ring.

Once it was properly seated inside me I started going to town on my dick, which at this point was leaking like my kitchen sink maintenance had refused to address for weeks.

I swear I could feel the root get deeper and deeper inside me as I jerked and spasmed around it I was panting and moaning like a bitch, I can’t believe how horny I was

at some point I felt something at my mouth and wouldn’t you know it, an equally thick tuber had been drawn to my hot breath and was poking at the corner of my lips

I was way past the point of rational thoughts at that point, I just leaned forward and let it creep into my mouth.

The further it got the hotter I felt. My tongue swiped across the underside and that’s when I tasted something sweet

Was this root leaking sap??

Turns out the itchy nectar tasted amazing so I ended up suckling it as I frantically jerked my dick. The root inside my ass had reached my prostate at that point and thats when things got really hazy for me.

I remember exploding all over myself, I would have been screaming if not for the thick root tunneling its way down my throat

I was jerking and spasming to the best of my ability but the roots were getting a little out of control, they were budding from the base of the main roots and expanding all over my body, and every couple of inches they would plant a sticky little node like a command strip onto my skin and keep going, until I could barely move.

The only part that hadn’t been covered was my right arm, which was moving too fast jerking myself off for the tendrils to colonize.

The root in my mouth seemed to expand further, and suddenly I realized that I could still breath despite it feeling like it had reached my guts almost.

My tongue felt a small hole on the underside and sure enough, I could breath just fine.

Good thing too because that’s when I noticed the two thinner roots making their way up my nose, expanding into my nostrils and plugging them completely.

The root in my ass must have had the same idea...

At this point I was slowly starting to realize, like, “oh shit, I really can’t move” and started trying to pull things off of me to escape bu t I honestly couldn’t budge. My left arm was completely rooted to the mattress and my right arm couldn’t be lifted above my waist, just enough to reach my dick but not enough to reach my face.

Leaves were starting to branch out from the tendrils, and with them came more flowers.

They were visibly crawling all over me now, moving fast enough for me to track with my eyes, and I watched in horror as several thin tendrils spiraled up my cock.

I wish I could have broken away but I was quite literally rooted to the spot watching these tendrils poke at my leaking pisshole and worm their way inside.

I screamed and cried but the progress was unceasing, it steadily tunneled into my dick until it hit the base and pinched my prostate against the root in my ass, which at this point must have reached high up into my guts.

I screamed against the root as I came, but no semen escaped my completely plugged dick.

I could feel it making its way inside my through my internal passages, rooting itself straight into my balls, 

At that point I really did pass out, whether from lack of oxygen or overstimulation I couldn’t tell.

Well, I'm awake now and I am utterly fucked, the roots have expanded into nearly every available orifice, even trying to fill out my belly button and uh.. they might have broken through the skin...

I can see ridges beneath my skin.. little hard lines were they’ve penetrated me.

I'm being constantly milked and I can’t even move as they constantly grind against the inside of my cock

I'm not even thirsty or anything, the liquid being drip-fed down my throat fills me up and I'm just kept in a constant state of bliss.

I dunno what to do bro, I have my phone but even texting is getting hard with one hand and roots slowly crawling down my fingers…

you’re the only one close enough to me, theres a key underneath the mat..

you gotta help me man before it's too la

[slytherizz]

Petulant - Sebastian Sallow x F!MC

Tags: Rivals to Lovers, Fluff, Slice of Life, First Kiss

A/N I'm trying to be kinder to myself when it comes to my writing. I usually share longer pieces but I have so many little bits of fluffy drabble and I'm trying to remember writing is meant to be fun and not every one-shot needs to be perfect.

Palms flat on the jetty Sebastian hoisted himself out of the water. Cursing violent profanities as he shook his hair out like a wet dog as he scrambled onto the dock. Shaking whether with rage or because the frigid water of the black lake had chilled him to the bone. She wasn’t sure. 

Not that she cared. 

Sebastian deserved it for being such a petulant pain in her arse. And little water never killed anyone; no matter how many unsavoury creatures lurked in its murky depths.

He’d practically goaded her into shoving him off the jetty. It had only been a matter of time before one of them retaliated against this little bonding exercise of Hecat’s. If he'd seen the opening first she'd be the one drenched and spluttering - she was sure of it. 

Having to endure sharing a potions station where they could use Gareth as a buffer was one thing. But being forced to spend her precious and most sacred Sallow-free hours, in the freezing cold catching Grindalow's as punishment was beyond the pale. All because they caused a teensy fire that was entirely Sebasitan’s fault when a duel had gotten out of hand. 

Really what had Hecate expected to achieve with this cruel and unusual detention? That they’d return to the castle thick as thieves? Strike up a newfound camaraderie that would want to make her do anything besides hex the smarmy git?

Impossible. Their professor was far too optimistic and this exercise had been doomed from the start.

“Enjoy your swim?” she sneered. Perhaps it hadn’t been an entire waste of time. At least now she could savour this mental image of him sopping wet and looking utterly ridiculous. 

Regaining his balance and rising to his full height, Sebastian stalked towards her. Face like thunder stopping mere inches away from her to glare down his nose. Droplets of water falling from his hair onto her cheeks. She swatted them away wrinkling her nose in disgust which only seemed to enrage him further. 

"You. Are the most immature. Insufferable. Petulant witch, I've ever had the displeasure to meet. Give me one good reason I shouldn’t hex you on the spot! Why exactly did you feel the need to throw me in the bastard lake?”

He was standing so close to her she should really step away but her feet were practically glued to the spot. Standing so close his hot breath ghosted across her cheeks. So close in fact, she could see his freckled skin through the shirt which clung to every inch of him. Sheer white leaving absolutely nothing to her imagination. 

How she'd never noticed quite how large Sebastian had gotten until he was impressing down on her was a mystery. A realisation that came too little too late as she’d turned their altercations physical. 

No matter where she looked there seemed to be more of him. Broad shoulders heaving with every laboured breath. Water beading in sparse hairs on his chest which peaked out from over his open-top buttons. Muscles in his jaw and neck twitching in agitation. 

Her eyes of their own volition had begun to meander down his stomach following the trail of hair wondering exactly how far they went before she caught herself. Wrenching them up again to his face, before she saw if the cling of his soaking tartan trousers exposed just as much of him as his shirt. Half terrified of what she'd find; the other half disgusted with her own desire to look. She didn't know what kind of feelings it would invoke but by the heat pooling low in her abdomen - she could hazard a guess.

“Have you got nothing to say for yourself?” 

She blushed wildly. Mouth flapping open and closing like a fish out of water. Trying to stamp down the unwelcome feeling that made her want to press her thighs together. 

He blinked at her. Dark eyebrows lowering sceptically. "You're staring."

"I am not!” she spluttered. Trying to recapture the feeling of overwhelming irritation she’d felt the precise moment she’d thrown him overboard. “An obnoxious idiot just happens to be shouting his head off in my eyeline."

"You're blushing." He smirked, voice giddy with amusement as if he'd finally cracked some impossible puzzle. Her hands snapped up to clasp her burning face to hide the evidence. His tongue darted across his bottom lip licking off water. Which only made her cheeks burn hotter.

"Is that why you pushed me in? Wanted to get a good look?"

"I wanted you to shut your mouth and stop whinging for five minutes so I could have some bloody peace. But it seems to have had the opposite effect - you're chatting even more bollocks than before."

"So this why you’re so insufferable all the time. This-” He gestured down to his dishevelled albeit to her utter dismay, not unappealing state of undress. “Is your idea of flirting?”

“Flir- Flirting? You must have knocked your head on your way down.”

“Merlin. This is rich - You’d be pulling on my pigtails if I had them."

"No. I. Wouldn't!"

Foot stomping hard on the rickety planks in frustration. Rather childish and definitely not her proudest display. It did little to prove her argument and instead to her dismay only seemed to make Sebastian grin wider.

"You fancy me." Not a question. He declared it like he’d won some imaginary battle. 

"I absolutely do not."

He leaned further towards her she could see the glint of triumph in his brown eyes. She swallowed hard eyes flicking towards his lips and back again. 

"Liar.”

Strong hands seized her face and knowing he’d won - Sebastian crashed his lips into hers. They were wet and cool against hers from his tumble into the lake as he kissed her. But so soft and inviting in a way she didn’t think anyone's flesh could be it made her head spin. His fingers tangled in her hair, mouth moving demanding against hers. 

Her knee jerked instinctively towards his most precious area but faltered, along with the last of her pride. She could not seem to find the will to pry herself away. Sebastian’s teeth grazed her bottom lip requesting access. She gasped in surprise and he slid his tongue past her parted lips. A shudder ran through her as his tongue flicked against hers.  

He groaned into her mouth, as her tongue matched his motions in maddening strokes. A sound under normal circumstances she would have mocked him mercilessly for only made her kiss him back more feverishly. Regrettably, her hands were just as traitorous as her tongue. Following the curve of broad shoulders, she felt the muscles underneath firm from years of duelling. Admitting defeat she dared to go further tangling in his wet hair. Pulling gently hoping it would elicit more sinful sounds from Sebastian. 

A deep well of desire now pooled in her gut all rational thoughts drowned in. She failed miserably to stifle her own strained moan as large hands encircled her waist pulling her flush against him. Skin practically burning despite the frigid temperatures.

A truly pathetic whimper of protest escaped her lips as Sebastian pulled away from their kiss. Leaving her breathless and dizzy even as the cold rushed in. No longer able to leech his warmth she shamefully realised how close their bodies had been pressed together from the chill of her damp clothes. 

He stepped back and if she was capable of forming a coherent thought she would have hexed the smug look off his ridiculous, handsome, infuriating face. 

"Now. I'm going to go and get out of these wet clothes before I catch a death," Sebastian said. As casually as if he was observing the weather and had not just spent the last five minutes snogging the supposed most insufferable witch he’d ever met. Turning quickly on his heels he began striding towards the boat house. Leaving her open-mouthed cheeks burning from the frigid wind lapping at the wet hand print on her cheek or with shameful unwanted desire she wasn't sure. Calling back over his shoulder. A roughish smile pulled on freckled cheeks. A devilish glint in his eye. "If you're ready to stop being such a brat - I'll let you help."

She groaned inwardly, legs following him across the jetty seemingly of their own accord. Powerless to stop herself and praying no one would see her shameless pursuit. 

She knew he'd never let her live this one down.

Not that she cared.

[happiness-of-the-pursuit]

words wednesday (ignore that it's thursday)

Hello everyone! Thank you for the many tags. I got a migraine yesterday afternoon that only got worse as the day went on (and the brain is still a little soupy), so I missed the posting window. However, my brain also cooked up two new WIPs this week in addition to the two I was already working on, which is insane (I have never actively juggled this many pieces before). I'm excited to share and talk about these, so I am ignoring the date and still sharing.

Serious moment: this snippet is from my new wip featuring Seahorse Dad Henry (wherein trans masc Henry gets pregnant after a one night stand with Alex, fall out ensues). It's actually an incredibly important fic to me (somewhat fueled by spite), because on Twitter I saw a RWRB account make a wish list for men being able to get pregnant — as a dude who can get pregnant myself, it was pretty disheartening to see this trans erasure in a fandom which is supposed to celebrate queerness.

In general there's been a lot of recent mpreg talk without including trans guys in the discussion at all, so even though mpreg's not usually my thing, I've decided to add to the discourse by writing my representation into the narrative blah blah blah.

Enough talking. Here's the rough draft snippet:

Henry’s also honest enough with himself to admit that at least half of his good mood can be traced to the three free drinks bought for him by three different men, the bum squeeze he received a couple songs ago, the hard cock rubbing against his arse right now. He knows it’s a bit vain to revel in other mens’ appreciation of his physical form, but he spent so long feeling uncomfortable in his own skin, listening to people when they said no one would ever be attracted to him, that he can’t help but languish in the feeling of being desired.

Tags and thanks below the cut :)

Thanks to @14carrotghoul @magicandarchery @anincompletelist @firenati0n @heybuddy-drabbles @getmehighonmagic @gay-flyboys @matherines @inexplicablymine @zwiazdziarka @suseagull04 @kiwiana-writes @nocoastposts for WIP Wednesday/first line of 2024 tags! I'm late as mentioned above, so please consider this a tag for six/seven/several sentence sunday :)

[violentlyviolettripledecker]

A thirsty little snippet

This fic isn't ready to be read in its entirety yet, but I'm going to post this excerpt.

Pairing: Alfie Solomons x OFC

Word Count: 779 words

Tags: Established(ish) relationship, vaginal fingering, cum tasting

Explicit content under the cut!

“Hello, miss,” he said, and kissed below her ear. “Did you sleep well in my bed?”

She giggled. “Yes. It’s a very nice bed. I had lovely dreams.”

He cupped her breast in one hand and felt a gut-punch of lust when she gasped. He rolled her nipple between thumb and forefinger until she was pushing back against him, her breath high and shaky. He pulled her even closer and sent his hand beneath the covers, up and under her skirt, her warm bare thigh the best thing his fingers had ever touched. He gave her a short little slap, to make noise not pain, and she gasped again. “Open up for me,” he said.

She did, the obedient little thing. What commands could he give and watch her willingly oblige?

He put his leg beneath hers, propping her open, and dipped his fingers between her lower lips. It would be so fucking easy to pull her back and put her on his aching cock, but instead he swept his fingers up to her clit. Fuck, he’d never wanted to see a naked body so badly, it made him feel a bit mad wondering what color her little pearl was, her dripping folds, the soft curls that kept it all secret and warm.

She rolled her hips up and into his hand, then her round arse ground back against his thigh, his cock against her back.

He looked at her face, setting his pace and movements to her sighs and gasps. She kept her eyes shut, unaware he was watching. He closed his eyes too, the better to savor what he was feeling.

Her gasps and sighs went straight through him and danced along his cock like too-light fingers. The desire to plunge into something unforgivingly hot and tight became a high, whining desperation, so he opened his eyes again and saw Edna watching him.

“You’re fucking beautiful,” he said and kissed her. It was sloppy and wet, both of them distracted by his working fingers.

In a quiet, high whisper, she said, “Oh, that feels so good, Alfie. Your fingers… Your fingers feel so good.” She broke off into a whine and one of her hands wrapped around his wrist, not asking him to stop, but keeping his hand where it was.

She closed her eyes again. He could feel her stomach muscles going tense, her leg on top of his drew downward. He pressed back with his leg, keeping her open to him.

“Are you going to come, hm? Make a mess of my sheets?”

She clapped a hand over her own mouth, sending a bolt of bloodred lust right through him. She moaned into her palm as her eyes rolled back. Her hips spasmed. His cock leaked freely by the time she opened her eyes again.

Forgetting her relative inexperience, intent only on his own fucking pleasure, he raised his glistening fingers to his mouth and sucked off her juices. Some salt from her sweat, but mostly she was tangy, a little sweet. He opened his eyes to her shining and shocked dark eyes.

“Never fucking been tasted, eh?”

She shook her head. “What… What do I taste like?”

“Forbidden fucking fruit, you little minx.” He swept his fingers through her soaking folds again and held his fingers above her lips. “Go on,” he said, resisting the urge to just stick his fingers in her mouth.

She opened her lips and closed her mouth around his fingers. His cock twitched. “Oh,” she said, opening her eyes. “It’s different than I thought,” she said, and he didn’t rightly know what that meant, but if he didn’t come soon he was going to be a right terrible person to be around.

“Fucking hell. I’ve got to go. Give me a kiss first.”

She turned her head and he lowered his until their lips met. He could just roll on top of her, rut against her a few times and come all over her tits. He broke the kiss and took his leg out from between hers.

“You should go back to sleep. I’m off to the office.” He stood up, his muscles like a cramp around the hard root of his cock. “I’ll take Cyril wif me, you and the rat can have the whole house.”

“It’s Sunday,” she whined. “Why do you have to work?”

He smiled. “Bakery’s open seven days a week. No more whinging sweetheart, or I’ll give you something to moan about.”

As he thought she would, she blushed and smiled and generally looked like a woman who’d spend the night getting thoroughly fucked.

He had a terrible feeling he was fucking everything up.

---

If you liked this, you might like Water and Earth a Tommy Shelby x OFC I'm writing on AO3.

Edited 10/31 to add: This work is now being posted on AO3! If you like this, you can currently read chapters 1-8 of Monkey Puzzle Tree here!

[fallen-in-dreams]

Also on AO3.

Pairing: Kakashi/Sakura

Summary: Almost six feet. Dazzling eyes. Body fit for the Olympian gods. Promises, promises. Sakura was excited about her blind date. Until she saw him.

Her past has caught up to bite her in the arse. And she's going to murder Ino for this.

Prompt: Day 3 | Blind Date

Rated: Mature

Words: 4,348

Status: Complete.

Author note: Hiya! More KakaSaku. Long time coming. I'm so happy to be writing this pairing again. Weirdly, it doesn't feel like it's been the forever it has been. :)

This was only supposed to be 1k so the 4k is a fun surprise. :)

And, this was written for KakaSaku week 2024 on Tumblr. Prompt: Day 3: Blind Date.

Enjoy. :)

Tags on AO3: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Teacher-Student Relationship, Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Smut, Existential Angst, Existential Crisis, Pining, Mutual Pining.

For KakaSaku Week 2024. @scarecrowsandcherryblossoms

.:.

Sakura Haruno was going to kill her best friend. Throttle her. Bury her body in the Yamanaka family estate gardens. Pretend she'd never met the woman before in her entire life. Ino's incompetence was going to land Sakura in jail, she just knew it.

"You'll have a great time," Ino had insisted. "He's hot. You're desperate."

"I'm not desperate."

"It'll be fine."

Sakura remembered quite vividly the moment when everything went wrong. She never should've told her irrepressible friend that she had a thing for older men.

"Not too old, mind you, or I'd feel like he was babysitting me instead of dating me."

There was something icky about that.

Sakura was newly twenty-three years old, and fresh from her studies, ready to choose between internal medicine and its subspecialties for her future in medicine.

Here I come, Tohoku University!

And she hadn't gotten laid since her first time in high school. She was looking for a bit of fun before her internship began. Wet her whistle. Warm her nethers. And end her dry spell. Basically, get something hard and soft between her thighs and so deep she could live off the memory for the next ten years.

Ino had started dating some guy she met on tinder called Genma. A guy in his early thirties who apparently new a guy who also knew another guy who was also looking to get themselves a little one-on-one action over the weekend.

"I've got just the man for you."

And Sakura was actually excited.

.:.

(It didn't last long.)

Almost six feet. Dazzling eyes. Body fit for the Olympian gods.

Promises, promises.

Ino was vague on the details but that was fine. She had an active imagination that could fill in the blanks.

She couldn't help but wonder what he looked like. Did he have dark eyes? Bright eyes? And maybe silky smooth long hair. Short, spiky hair. Curly hair. Messy hair. Maybe he had a goatee. Or really bushy eyebrows. No, that wasn't attractive at all.

She just hoped he was nice enough to speak to, because Ino was right that it had been too long for her. He could be Adonis reincarnated but if he pissed her off, she would be out of there faster than Ino when it came time to go grocery shopping.

Here goes.

She'd primped and primed herself. Her maybe one night stand (or weekend long, she was game) awaited her.

I don't have time to date.

Sakura pushed open the restaurant door, and scanned the room nervously. She just wanted someone who would be easy to talk to. Creating that calm ambiance would increase her chances of finding someone decent, and his chances of getting laid.

She smiled. "Pink orchids..."

Her blind date would be wearing one on his collar. It was old-fashioned and cliche but exciting nonetheless. She'd even dressed to match, her sleek, simple dress styled in a soft floral pattern - nothing ostentatious, it complimented her pink hair instead of clashing with it.

"Where are you?"

A moment later, Sakura's gaze landed on the sole orchid in the room. And as her eyes rose to meet his, she couldn't stop herself from gasping loudly.

She'd imagined the guy Ino had described a dozen different ways.

But not like this.

Never like this.

Mismatched eyes zeroed in on her and all the breath left Sakura's lungs. Her eyes widened. His eyes widened. They were quite the pair, gaping like fish out of water.

It's him.

The horror story of her life was coming true.

As she stood there, her body frozen in place in shock, Sakura couldn't help but remember the horror of having once been both stupid and in love.

.:.

Six years ago. (And two years later.)

She'd been a bumbling nineteen year old when they first met. Her heart on her sleeve. Her future unsure. Her innocence still intact - metaphorically. Stars in her eyes. Naive about love, since her only real boyfriend had left her for someone else. She'd been determined to forget about boys, and love, and the sex she had barely dipped her toes into.

She had a career to study for. A life to prepare for. A heartbreak to recover from. And therapy to stick to, that didn't involve a rebound relationship.

Sakura wasn't looking for romance. Or sex. Or companionship of any kind.

"How tragic," Ino had said.

So, Sakura hadn't seen him coming.

He was her social science teacher during her general studies programs after high school. When Sakura was debating which medical field to get into, Professor Hatake was starring in her wet dreams and keeping her awake at night. Her only reprieves being her fingers and an assortment of toys she'd become intimately familiar with over the two years of their professional relationship.

He'd been aloof. Hot. Kind but strict. And she'd spent many a night fingering herself to get him out of her head.

Not that it worked, entirely. But it did take the edge off.

They met an hour into class time. He had a reputation for being late, but if you weren't there when he arrived, you could kiss your passing grade goodbye.

All the girls (and some of the guys) swooned when he entered the room for the first time. Sakura's stomach did a somersault like everyone else's. Butterflies danced in her abdomen the entire lecture. Hot, coiling tension in between her legs, she barely kept up with his pace as he flew through the curriculum.

She'd studied almost non-stop for this. But as her heart raced and her mind fumbled, Sakura wondered if it had even been worth it.

She had a crush on her teacher.

It was horrifying.

Sakura could not and would not let him affect her studies. Her ex-boyfriend had done that and she almost didn't make it into this university.

Never again.

So, after that first day, Sakura made sure to never join the throng of admirers that stayed back, hoping to monopolise his time. He clearly wasn't enjoying the attention but they didn't seem to care.

"Did you see how he looked at me?"

"No way, he was totally looking my way!"

"Delusional! He winked at me!"

"Did not!"

Twittering girls.

Sakura behaved herself for almost two years, only speaking when spoken to. Ignoring the hot flushes of arousal everytime their fingers grazed one another when he handed her something. Pretending he wasn't looking at her during the classes where he specifically lectured on the social constructs of sex in society.

She would lick her lips involuntarily as their eyes met and then inwardly curse herself when Professor Hatake stuttered or simply paused to close his eyes momentarily.

As though he was as affected by her as she was by him.

But she was determined not to let him affect her. One word from him or a suspicious biddy and she could be tossed out on her arse. No degree. No future. Her life ruined. It wasn't an unprecedented fear. Even at barely nineteen she understood this.

So, she never participated in the extra credit modules he offered the top students outside of class hours, even though she could really use the boost. Not that Sakura would ever fall behind. No. She was an overachiever.

Two years.

The tension was painful at times but she stuck with it, continuously topping the class despite her self-imposed limitations. Fighting to maintain her position as the best student on his roster, with minimal interactions from her very hot and fuckable teacher. Reminding herself that all the things she wanted to do to him (and have him do to her) could get her penalised, not to mention expelled.

But everytime he handed her her exemplary grade, she had to mentally chant a prayer to Kami to keep her sane. To keep her from jumping his bones. It was partly because she was falling irrevocably in love with the man, but also because exemplary grades were a rare event even without a hard arse teacher.

Both options were making her itch in unmentionable places.

And it all finally came to a head on the last day of class. They'd completed their tests. Humoured Professor Hatake's last minute quizzes. Completed the mandatory, approved courses. Said their respectful farewells. Received their degrees.

With surprisingly little fanfare.

Until Professor Hatake broke their silent agreement and asked her to stay back afterwards.

She almost said no.

What could he possibly want after all this time?

The girls around her twittered as Sakura slowly packed up her belongings. She impatiently waited for them to take the hint and leave before she approached her teacher's desk.

He had that eye-twinkling smile he saved for his truly genuine moments when good-naturedly debating his students on lazy Friday afternoons.

"Miss Haruno, take a seat, please "

It sounded like a reprimand but she took the offered chair and shifted uncomfortably.

"Now, don't look so terrified," he joked. "I just wanted to congratulate you on completing every module with perfect scores, and offer you this."

She leaned forward expectantly as Professor Hatake slid a piece of paper to her across the desk.

A letter of recommendation.

Her eyes stung as she fought back the tears. Happy tears, of course. Along with the heavy feeling of why would he do this kind of emotional turmoil.

"In all my time teaching social studies to pre-med students," he started saying, as Sakura stared agape at the typed out praise and proof of his respect for her. "I've never met such a dedicated student."

She couldn't believe it. He ... typed up a letter of recommendation, addressing her future professor that outlined her dedication, determination and skill. She'd already decided on her medical studies modules and field of expertise. Professor Hatake knew this, as one of his final assessments had been a self-assessment of personal intent and goals for their intellectual horizons.

In total, she envisioned six years of study (including the two she just spent) to finally become a doctor and forget her teenage crushes and stupid low self-esteem. And now, she'd spent countless hours trying to get those eyes out of her mind, heart, and soul.

And all of her ambitions were laid out before her.

"Professor..." She didn't know what to say, running her fingers along the letter.

"Do you accept?"

Her head snapped up and Sakura stared into those unfathomable, mismatched eyes. The warmth and understanding that shon through almost broke her. Even with his infernal mask on she'd always been able to tell if he was genuine or not.

Sakura swallowed heavily. "I-I accept, of course."

He stood up and walked around his desk. Seizing up, Sakura inhaled sharply, her nose full of his scent. She scrambled to her feet.

"Sir?"

He stopped an inch from her and she was suddenly hyper aware of every inch of him.

"I have a personal matter to discuss as well," he said, his voice low, his eyes darkening as they peered into hers. "Feel free to reject me without reprisal or concerns for my wellbeing."

Sakura's lips parted in anticipation as his fingers parted her fringe. Her mouth was dry and she suddenly couldn't think of a thing he'd ask that she wouldn't agree to.

"We've been doing this dance for a while now," he said softly. "And I didn't want to presume your interest, nor put you in a difficult situation in the middle of your studies."

All Sakura could do was nod in acknowledgement that she knew what he was talking about.

He smiled and she felt her knees weaken. "But it's over now. And..."

He looked embarrassed all of a sudden.

"You want to know if there really is some interest." She wasn't asking.

Kakashi nodded.

He was suddenly just Kakashi to her. She glanced down at the letter of recommendation. He said there would be no reprisals. She could walk away and take the letter with her.

She had what she wanted.

But he was offering her so much more.

Sakura turned back to him and raised a hand to cup the side of his face. Half-hidden by a mask but still so expressive. He leaned into her touch and she felt a pulse of desire ripple through her body.

"I'm interested."

This is so wrong.

He peered at her, his eyes darting between hers like he was trying assess the intensity behind her words.

She swallowed. "Right now."

So very wrong.

Looking back at this later, she might say she regretted acting so fast. That reliance on her hormones for important decision making involving people she had feelings for was always a bad idea. But he was offering himself up on a silver platter and the small, dark part of her that hated that it had been two years, with countless self-made orgasms, and innumerable self-pitying, lonely nights, desperately wanted this.

So wrong .. that it's right?

Kakashi pulled away suddenly, leaving her to frown for a moment. He strode to the door and turned the latch on the knob. They were locked in.

He leaned against the door, watching her carefully.

"Are you sure?" He asked. "For as long as this door remains locked, you consent to what I've wanted to do to you for eighteen months, five days, eight hours and," he glanced at the watch in his wrist, "fifteen seconds."

Fuck.

Well, when he said it like that.

Sakura lifted her chin and dropped her bag to the floor. She tried to exude confidence as she slowly undid the buttons of her shirt. Kakashi watched with obvious interest as the garment came off and joined her bag on the floor.

Her bra was lace but otherwise simple and unassuming, much like her breasts. But his eyes were greedily soaking them in even as Sakura undid the zipper on her skirt and let it fall to the floor.

Fuck.

The look on his face was priceless. Mouth agape and pale skin tinged with pink. He swallowed, visibly affected by her state of near undress.

It made her feel empowered.

She should have insisted he reciprocate by removing his own clothing next but Sakura was currently drunk on this power she suddenly had.

The attractive, widely admired and sought after Kakashi Hatake was ogling her and she wasn't about to disappoint.

Pushing aside her self-deprecating thoughts regarding her body, Sakura reached around to release the clasp on her bra. This was it, the true point of no return. She paused as Kakashi pushed off from the door and stalked towards her.

He tugged off his coat, the shirt underneath falling to the floor with it. He backed her against his desk and caged her in with his body.

"Sakura, Sakura," he admonished.

She inhaled him deeply as he leaned into whisper directly into her ear, "why do you tease your professor so much?"

His fingers were trailing along her naked chest, skirting the underside of her breasts.

"I think I need to punish you."

Two years of riotous anticipation coiled in her abdomen and pooled between her thighs. She was already embarrassingly wet.

Kakashi nipped at her earlobe, sending more tremors through her body. His hands brushed her hips before delicately teasing her nipples, twisting the peaks and eliciting a moan from her. He cupped her tits for a moment before Sakura pulled away to sit on the edge of the desk.

He moved with her and started to duck down but she stopped him.

"Mask off," she demanded. He quirked an eyebrow at her. "I want your skin on mine."

He nodded in agreement.

Sakura was entranced as Kakashi revealed himself. Somehow it felt far more intimate than her being mostly naked on his desk and dripping down her thighs.

He's so hot.

Everything from his sculptured face to those mismatched eyes was perfect. If he walked around without the mask, he'd be constantly mobbed by his fans.

Kakashi's smirk was somehow knowing and apathetic at the same time. He wasted no more time in ducking his head down again, this time to capture her right nipple on his mouth. She gasped as he teased the other one with his hands.

"Kakashi!"

He chuckled. She squirmed. He was so good at this. Sakura grabbed a fistful of his hair and moaned. His hands moved to her back now, stopping her from laying down, as he alternated between worshipping her breasts with his mouth and tongue.

Like he was feasting on her.

If this was his idea of punishment, she could get used to it pretty quickly.

Sakura tried to get more of his wet mouth on her body but soon, Kakashi was ready to move on. He released her nipples with a pop and gently pushed her onto her back.

Kakashi took a moment to admire his handiwork. Her skin was flushed and slightly bruised from his attention.

"Fuck, you're beautiful."

Sakura preened under the weight of his stare and praise. She arched her back, stretching her arms above her head to accentuate her breasts, and lifted her hips to press into his. His erection was obvious through his trousers and Kakashi hissed at the contact.

Legs wrapped around his hips, Sakura dug her heels into his arse. It made him jolt impossibly closer and she felt him twitch at her entrance.

This is real. It's really happening.

Her earlier, negative thoughts about how wrong this was were dead and buried at this point. She reached down and tugged on his belt.

"Fuck me, Kakashi Sensei."

She'd never used the title so provocatively before.

Kakashi leaned over, pressing his chest against hers. He hesitated for only a moment before capturing her mouth. She parted her lips immediately, moaning as her teacher kissed her deeply, slowly rocking his hips against hers.

"Hm." She groaned.

Sakura wrapped her arms around his neck as he started pushing down his trousers. His underwear went with it and he kicked them off to the side.

Kakashi pulled away again and Sakura got one glorious look at him fully naked and painfully hard, bulging and ready for her, before he ducked down again, this time to start sliding her knickers down her legs.

She was fully bare before him, humming with pleasure and expectation, confident and aroused. Sakura parted her knees as Kakashi inhaled her scent, his breath tickling her folds. One hand holding her hips down as she bucked. The other hand joining his mouth as he teased and plucked her.

When she could bear it no more, he curled his fingers inside her, his thumb finding that perfect, special spot. Sakura cried, instinctively trying to hug his head with her thighs.

"Kakashi!"

The ceiling blurred and her vision exploded as she came. She shuddered one last time before flopping backwards, boneless, and then jerked suddenly as Kakashi's tongue darted out to taste her.

"Too sensitive," she whined.

He chuckled. "You taste amazing, Sakura. And sound delightful when you're coming on my fingers."

She smiled and closed her eyes, not at all bothered that she was still completely exposed to him.

Kakashi stood and stepped away from her and she barely paid attention as he rifled through his bag. Sakura threw an arm over her face as she struggled to come down from her high, but couldn't resist a peek at his body.

Kakashi was partly blocked by the desk and her own legs but she could see that he was also flushed. Excitement. Arousal. Whatever it was, she could see it all over him. And as he stood unashamedly straight, her eyes dropped automatically to the hardness between his legs.

She throbbed at the sight.

"Sakura," he said, bringing her attention to the condom packet in his hand.

She had been wrong. Her naked in front of him was not when this got real. That real moment was upon her now. She shakily sat up.

"Last chance," he said. "I want this. But if you have any doubts, please say so now."

He was standing naked before her, offering her an out, and she understood why. This would change everything. Tomorrow, her new life would begin and she may never see him again. The Board of Education would not look on them kindly if they continued this and then were discovered.

People would make unwanted presuppositions about them. She could just see the gossipers now, thinking they'd been together this whole time. That she'd fucked him for the exemplary grades.

She took a moment to steel herself.

But Sakura thought herself in love. Was this a good or bad idea because of her feelings? It didn't matter. Only making this moment count mattered to her now.

And that was precisely why she nodded, then laid back down and spread her legs once more. She looked over at him, the swell of her breasts not high enough to block out his intense stare, nor the twitch of his dick as realisation sunk in.

"I want this too," she said confidently.

He approached her once more, taking a moment to kiss her deeply. She relished the feel of his mouth on hers. His body pressed against hers. Then she pulled on his arm impatiently and he smirked.

She wriggled her bum as the sound of plastic ripping echoed in the silent room. Sakura didn't stop to wonder why he had one ready like his. Maybe he'd planned this more intimately than she'd first presumed. It no longer mattered.

He gripped her hips gently and Sakura forced down her initial anxiety as Kakashi began to slowly inch inside of her. She gasped. He felt larger then he'd looked, but she was no expert.

"Relax," he whispered, and then swallowed her moans as he quickly slid the rest of the way in.

Her insides on fire, she gripped his hips with her legs again, silently urging him to start moving.

"Fuck," he groaned, now burying his face into the crook of her neck, his hips thrusting.

Kakashi's arms encircled her body and Sakura closed her eyes, digging her nails into his back. Her own back was taking a beating as he fucked her against the grain of the desk. 

When she finally felt it, that red hot ache of desire, Sakura's eyes flew open and she grasped Kakashi, fumbling with his sweaty arms, trying to get his attention.

Her mouth had stopped working properly. She could only growl in reply to every rut of his body against hers.

"Ka... Ka.. Shi.."

The fever inside her sped up and Sakura was helpless against it. She closed her eyes again, letting her second orgasm wash through her body. The friction eased and her inner walls eased fluttered around him.

As her teacher came undone on top of her, Sakura muffled herself by biting her lip hard enough to make it bleed.

They had only a few minutes of breathlessness and no more time to recover before reality hit them hard and fast.

"Kakashi!"

She started, jumping up as Kakashi reeled backwards.

That wasn't her voice.

Stupid.

Stupid.

Stupid.

"Kakashi? You in there?"

The door rattled.

"Why is this damn thing locked?"

No, no, no, no, no!

They were going to know! She stunk of sex!

With no other option, she gathered her clothes as the man behind the door called out again, racing to dress herself. She paid no mind to Kakashi as he did the same.

Sakura ducked behind the door, bag hugged to her chest, and nodded to Kakashi before he finally let this mystery man in.

From the back, she could just make out his side profile and some thin looking stick poking out of his mouth, as he greeted Kakashi suspiciously.

She didn't care what Professor Hatake told this man, it wasn't her friend that almost walked in on them. She needed to leave. Now.

Forgetting in her panic that this room had a back entrance, Sakura edged towards the half-open main door. She glanced at the forlorn look on Kakashi's face before turning to flee the scene of her shame.

Accidentally leaving her letter of recommendation behind.

.:.

Four years later.

But that was a lifetime ago. So much had happened. She would begin her life as a resident in Konoha Hospital soon. She'd just turned twenty-five. Her life was coming together.

And here Kakashi was again, to scare her into thinking it was over.

Fuck.

Sakura stared at the man who'd made her heart raced as she came. The man who'd fucked her like she was more than just a student. Made her feel in a way that nobody else had.

"Sakura?" He stood, a mix of confusion and desire overwhelming his visible features, and body language.

She turned, ready to flee once more. Perhaps it was simply in her nature to avoid the man. She still wanted him so bad. That much was obvious from the way her body was pulsing, remembering how he'd tasted and felt on top of her. Inside her.

She shivered.

"Sakura, please, stay?"

She paused, looking back at him.

There was no reason to deny him. No excuse to crawl back into the dark, lonely hole she'd dug for herself. She couldn't think of anything.

No fear that held true any longer.

So, she turned back, trying to swallow her fear. Sakura would kill Ino later, because there was no way the blonde hadn't known who Kakashi was to her.

Sakura had told her everything afterwards.

Kakashi let out a deep sigh of relief as Sakura moved towards his table.

"You look... beautiful," he breathed.

She couldn't help but smile, but didn't sit down.

"Thank-you. You look.. quite good."

There's that eye crinkle again.

"We have a lot to catch up on," he said.

She nodded.

"But first, let's do it right this time." He held out his hand. "I'm Kakashi."

Sakura's smile widened and she shook his hand. "I'm Sakura. Pleased to meet you."

Sakura let out a laugh, the tension releasing from her body as they both sat. And quite suddenly, she couldn't wait for this date to go well, all over again.

.:.

[shy-urban-hobbit]

🖤 and/or 💛 with lambert/aiden from the kissing list please :3

I went with 💛 - reunion kiss for this one 😁😁

"Alright, what the fuck is wrong?" Geralt asked, reminding himself to put his ale back on the table calmly rather than slamming it down like he really wanted to (two Witchers in the inn was already drawing enough attention without making it look like a fight was about to break out between them), having finally reached the end of his tether.

"Nothing. Besides the usual." Lambert answered sulkily, trying to glare a hole into the table top, only pausing when his eyes would flick up to the door briefly when someone new entered, arms tightly folded across his chest. Those four words the first response he'd given all evening that hadn't been monosyllables at best or a grunt of acknowledgement at worst.

Geralt felt his eye twitch. His little brother was acting every bit the surly teenager he'd once been. Even back then, getting him to open up about anything had been akin to pulling teeth, worse even - at least pulling teeth yielded some results.

"We only left Kaer Morhen three months ago, things can't be that bad already?" He cajoled, hoping Lambert would let something slip.

"Well, maybe I'm just having truly shit luck." Lambert drained his tankard before standing, "I'm going to bed."

Geralt watched the others retreating form. Some things the youngest Witcher felt deeper than any of them, no matter how much he tried to brush them off.

Lambert's mood hadn't improved the next morning. If anything, it seemed to worsen after Geralt mentioned he was heading in the same direction as him on his way to meet Jaskier. By mid afternoon, Geralt was ready to shove Lambert's face in the next pile of horse dung they came across after he snapped at him for breathing too loudly. It didn't escape his attention that Lambert kept scanning the road and not just in casual observation - he was actively looking out for something, but every time Geralt tried to ask Lambert would either just growl at him or spur his horse a little further ahead in the on road equivalent of slamming his door in Geralt's face. Not that Geralt minded that much, the constant, acrid stench of Lambert's negative emotions was starting to put both him and Roach on edge.

After a night spent in the woods with separate camps, the two Wolves arrived in Ellander and at the temple of Melitele, where the White Wolf was due to meet his bard. Lambert found himself tagging along to say hello to Nenneke, he'd always found her fearlessness on calling bullshit when she smelt it refreshing (plus, watching her treat Geralt like an errant child would never not be funny). He couldn't quite discern the look she threw him when she informed them Jaskier hadn't arrived yet, although her "Jealousy is unbecoming on anybody. Including a Witcher." helped shed some light.

Luckily, Geralt saw fit to drag him out into the gardens before he started asking questions.

"Is that why you've had a stick up your arse, you're jealous of me and Jaskier?"

"Don't talk shit." Lambert snapped, "I didn't even know you were meeting him until you told me."

"And it was after that you went from a dragon with a sore head to one with a full on fucking migraine."

"It's my business, and shockingly it's got fuck all to do with you and your peacock. So why don't you just-"

"Geralt!"

Both of them turned at the yell, Geralt to be greeted by the sight of his bard waving at him and Lambert by a blur that slammed into him with enough force to knock him onto his back with an "Oof!" that was swallowed up by a pair of soft, chapped lips, an agile tongue dipping in cheekily when Lambert's lips parted in a smile once he realised who exactly had attacked him.

"Hello, you." Aiden said, grinning down at him once they parted. Not that Lambert was letting him go very far, his arms locked around the others back.

"You're late." Lambert said simply, " I waited for you as long as I was able but you never showed. So I started moving, hoping I'd run into you on the road but everywhere I tried...I was starting to think..." He squeezed Aiden in lieu of finishing his sentence, the other rubbed his nose against Lambert's in the way the Wolf recognised as him offering a silent apology.

"Well, glad to see you know each other already. No awkward introductions necessary." Jaskier chirped, sounding amused.

Lambert wouldn't say that exactly. He chanced a look at Geralt who looked positively dumbstruck as he stared down at them both, his sword half drawn, frozen in the act of coming to the others aid.

"And I'm afraid that's partly my doing. Aiden and that infallible Witcher timing saved me from a rather unfortunate encounter with some giant centipede thingy. Unfortunately, he didn't come out of it unscathed and far be it for me to leave my rescuer bleeding out on the roadside."

"For a troubadour, you make quite the competent healer." Aiden broke in, lifting his head at Lambert's gentle insistence as he checked him over for evidence of new injuries.

"Twenty years of practice, dear." Jaskier threw a meaningful look at Geralt, "He offered to escort me the rest of the way when we found out we were heading in the same direction."

Lambert finally relinquished his grip enough to let Aiden stand, taking the offered hand and watching Geralt warily for the moment he knew was coming since the word "Witcher" had flown from Jaskier's mouth.

Geralt had absolutely no idea what had been used to turn this strange Witchers eyes that almost luminous green rather than the traditional yellow and orange hues. He was almost of a height with Lambert when they both stood. His armour was light, leaving the arms bare apart from a set of plain leather gauntlets, the scars criss-crossing dark skin proudly on display and around his neck...

Geralt's fingers twitched towards his weapons in the same moment Lambert took half a step forwards, subtly placing himself slightly in front of the Cat, the two of them locking eyes in a silent conversation. Everything seemed to be holding its breath. Aiden kept his mouth shut, the slight ocean salt tang of apprehension present for those who could smell it and even Jaskier had fallen silent, his usual fresh apple and rain scent turning slightly rotten in his confusion as he looked between the three of them.

Geralt was the first to look away, "Well met Aiden. Lambert, make sure you say goodbye before you move on." He started herding Jaskier away, his eyes screaming that this "Goodbye" was going to include getting some answers. Lambert groaned.

"I recognise what that look means. Could've gone worse though." Aiden said, wrapping his arms around Lambert in a proper hug.

The Wolf shrugged, "Fuck him. He's got the messiest love life out of all of us, he's in no position to lecture me about you. Now c'mere."

He pulled Aiden into another kiss, putting his all into it now that he wasn't caught off guard.

"I really am sorry I made you worry, Pup."

"Let's find an empty room and you can make it up to me."

[d2kvirus]

Dickheads of the Month: March 2024

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of March 2024 to make sure that they are never forgotten.  

Of course the only response Itamar Ben-Gvir had to the United Nations calling for a ceasefire in Gaza (after countless votes scuppered by a US veto every single time) was to accuse the UN of antisemitism. Hey, why not say there's some of those "Hamas tunnels" under their HQ while you're at it?

...an accusation which Eylon Levy won't be able to use after being suspended and later sacked as Israel's English language spokesman due to a one-two punch of first having his grandstanding about how Israel was definitely allowing aid into Gaza was fatally undermined by Alicia Kearns asking him to cite a source for his claims multiple times, so then Levy thought that he could get back on the front foot by raging at David Cameron on Twitter that there are no limits on aid trucks getting into Gaza...which promptly saw countless sources up to and including the UN quoted back at him saying that what Levy was saying bore no relation to this thing called "reality"

Unelected Prime Minister Rishi Sunak thought it was wise to hurriedly stage a press conference denouncing the voters of Rochdale for electing George Galloway in their by-election as "extremists" instead of, say, and example of a largely Muslim constituency registering their disgust at a party which has several MPs who are casually Islamophobic and yet Sunak sits on his hands at the ballot box. And of course he also casually folded the pro-Palestinian marchers into his talk of "extremists" in the exact same speech, because that's the sort of coward Sunak is

...so of course Keir Starmer was 100% in support of Sunak denouncing anybody who dares look at anything other than one of the two cheeks of the same arse that is the Tories or Keir Starmer's Labour Party, because apparently it's better to do that then consider that maybe spending four years telling a large section of their voter base to fuck off yet having the gall to call them "Tory enablers" at the slightest criticism is always going to blow up in their faces the moment Starmer proved that his only talent is punching left and not, say, maybe suggesting that Israel killing Palestinian children might be something that needed to be called out months ago

Oh boy, it appears that Jonathan Glazer's Oscar acceptance speech for Zone of Interest was a red rag for antisemites as it brought them out in droves, with Batya Ungar-Sargon accusing Glazer of refuting his Jewishness, while Debbie Schlussel went one further and invoked the "self-hating Jew" trope, meanwhile Justin Saba tried to claim Glazer pretends to be Jewish when he likely only visits a Jewish deli once a month while Hillel Fuld tried to suggest that the Oscars was some Nazi-Hamas joint production, while for some inexplicable reason Tracy-Ann Oberman was snitch-tagging Danny Cohen and JK Rowling's agent in her lamentations that a Jew might disagree with her rabid support of Israel, and finally Abe Greenwald decided to dedicate Glazer's award to the IDF as if Glazer's speech hadn't specifically targeted them. And yes, I think you may have noticed a common theme about these people invoking one antisemitic trope after another about Glazer

...soon followed by Ben Shapiro giving a particularly dogbrained take on the films which only served to demonstrate that he hadn't seen it and merely based his argument on reading the synopsis of the film off Wikipedia, which was somewhat of an issue as Shapiro claimed to have seen it while also demonstrating that a Wikipedia synopsis is somehow too nuanced for Shapiro as that too makes it clear there's Jewish characters in the film, let alone scrolling down a little further where the cast list also makes this clear

Isn't it funny how Frank Hester can make extremely racist comments about Diane Abbott and also say that she needs to be shot that the MPs who were just a few weeks earlier howling about their own safety (after blackmailing Lindsay Hoyle, in order to spike an SNP vote on their opposition day) suddenly couldn't find their voices to suggest someone who donated £10m to the Tories might not just be a tad racist but is also a potential threat to MP's safety?

...and yet the inflatable dartboard that is Lindsay Hoyle appears to have forgotten about his handwringing about MPs being abused at the following PMQs, as he repeatedly passed over Diane Abbott when she tried to pose a question - but did allow a question to be asked by Mark Francois, because why let someone who is the target for racist abuse ask a question when you can always let the bloke who was strangely absent from parliament for several months when an unnamed Essex MP was being investigated for rape?

...but luckily the unifying force that is Keir Starmer had a solution: offering to return the Labour whip to Diane Abbott providing she stands down as a Labour candidate at the next election - which once again serves to remind people that Starmer has a real blind spot for abuse of his female MPs if they are any colour other than white

...and then along comes Kemi Badenoch to dismiss the whole thing as "trivia" which was certainly an interesting take for an Equalities Minister to take, not least because a few days prior she called out Hester's comments for the racism that they are

The month of billionaire manchild Elon Musk got off to a great start when he had to grovel to stochastic terrorist Chaya Raichik when she howled that Twitter was infringing on her "rights" be reinstating the policy against deadnaming trans people, promising her that she would not be banned from the platform for violating the Ts&Cs which the platform had just reinstated

...and soon afterwards billionaire manchild Elon Musk was using his platform (a platform he didn't create, merely bought before fucking it up for everyone) to Joe Biden of treason - on Super Tuesday

...and then billionaire manchild Elon Musk demonstrated just how what an authority on immigration he is falsely accusing Jhoan Boada of assaulting a police officer yet not being deported in a tweet (complete with Photoshopped image) when, in reality, Boada was exonerated on all charges, which the Community Note made abundantly clear before Musk threw the usual hissy fit and demanded it be removed - and really, at this point, maybe the billionaire manchild should shut the fuck up about migrants considering his brother unintentionally let slip how they were in the US illegally for several years

...yet don't forget that billionaire manchild Elon Musk is also capable of more than casual dogwhistling as he's also capable of having utterly dogbrained ideas, such as removing the visual record of the number of likes and comments under posts which definitely has nothing whatsoever to do with his audience crying about constantly and consistently getting ratio'd

...and soon afterwards billionaire manchild Elon Musk showed just how devoted he is to FREEEZE PEACH by cancelling the contract with Don Lemon to post his show on Twitter days before the first episode was set to debut, in which Lemon interviewer...erm, that would be billionaire manchild Elon Musk, who clearly realised a day or two after the interview that it was incredibly likely that he came across as a sociopathic weeb

...mainly because billionaire manchild Elon Musk came across as sociopathic weeb who when faced with the mildest pushback to things which he has said got super-defensive, could barely string a sentence together due to being rattled, and was trying to make excuses to get the hell out of there - and to show he wasn't mad, he spent days kvetching about Don Lemon to his echo chamber of TERFs, Neo Nazis and incels who told him he did great

...all the while billionaire manchild Elon Musk demonstrated what a crock his talk of FREEZE PEACH always was by filing a lawsuit against the Center for Countering Digital Hate for having the nerve to catalogue the racism which is rife on Twitter ever since Musk's purchase, a lawsuit which was dismissed and described as "vapid" by the judge who dismissed Musk's suit and was torn apart in the courtroom by the simple question of why Musk didn't try and file a defamation suit against the CCDH - though Musk tweeted shitty comments about the CCDH that made him look like a spiteful cunt, which really helped his case...

...and even more bullshit, as billionaire manchild Elon Musk decided to flex his engineering knowledge and state that the trusses from the Francis Scott Key Bridge could be easily repaired and used to build a replacement bridge in 3-6 months, as if steel trusses which had been exposed to 40+ years of weather erosion, traumatic damage and spent time at the bottom of Baltimore harbour is definitely going to be perfectly safe when, 3-6 months from now, it's reinstalled with a new coat of paint on it. That sound you hear is a lot of people checking the Ts&Cs of their Clustertruck to see if they're due a full refund in case they find if the steel came from the wrecks of burned-out Ford Pintos

This month on Planet Zionism we started with David Collier showing just what an expert on the subject of racism he is by boldly stating that, if the disciples were alive in 2024, they would all be members of the IDF looking to free Jesus

...and soon afterwards fellow racism expert David Baddiel proudly declared that he invented the term "hierarchy of racism", which does beg the question how much research he did on his books where he says what an expert on racism he is

Mask off time for militant TERF JK Rowling as she decided to go off on a rant which she capped off by misgendering India Willoughby at the urging of one of the Gender Critical drones who wanted mummy's approval, and just kept on going after that. But remember, JK Row'ing has never said or done anything overtly transphobic...

...and because it was mask off time for JK Rowling within a week she decided that Holocaust denial would definitely make for a good career move, because we should ignore all the evidence of the Nazis exterminating the trans community and listen to the hack writer who ripped off The Worst Witch until she needed to rip off Luke Skywalker's character arc to last beyond two books

So nice of Michelle Donelan to decide the £15,000 she owed to Professor Kate Sang of supporting Hamas after falsely accusing her of being a Hamas supporter would not be coming out of her pocket but would be covered by the taxpayer, as paying out of her own pocket would be admitting guilt for libelling Sang

Fascist cartoonist Hans Christian Grabener really didn't like it when they were revealed as the person behind StoneToss and, previously, also being behind RedPanels - so they did what any whiny little bitch would do and whined to daddy, that "daddy" in question being billionaire manchild Elon Musk who thought deleting the thread exposing Stone Toss would be enough to stop people from saying that Hans Christian Graebener is the fascist oik behind StoneToss

...and then billionaire manchild Elon Musk showed his dedication to FREEZE PEACH once again by deleting the Twitter account of Alejandra Carabello because their username stated that Hans Christian Graebener was the fascist oik behind StoneToss, because apparently it's okay to post people's names, addresses and places of work when LibsofTikTok does it, but posting information which is freely available online is bad now

For the love of every religious deity can Rachel Reeves please find a different euphemism for being chancellor than balancing the household budget, because unless her parent's garden shed printed money there's no way of comparing that to being chancellor...but then again, she can't really use credit card euphemisms what with her government credit card being suspended in 2015

...similarly, it would be nice if Liz Kendall stopped accusing everybody between the ages of 20-30 who are on benefits of being workshy, given it is demonstrable that a large section of benefits claimants in that group are working - it's just their salaries don't cover things such as rent, food, heating bills, and everything else Keir Starmer's Labour Party don't think are issues

...although considering that when Rachel Reeves takes a break from economically illiterate drivel she's using Thatcherite economic policies while sending out Darren Jones to talk up Thatcher's "decade of national renewal", which is something that comes as news to anyone who worked in industry at the time especially coalminers, maybe obviously made up stories about helping with the household budget when she was six is slightly less horrifying

Brilliant PR by the Royal Family when they fought back against people wondering where the hell Kate Middleton has been since she was last seen in public at the end of December by posting an obviously Photoshopped picture for Mother's Day as proof of life - which only further caused suspicion while also showing people that, actually, the Royals have plenty of control of the media - as demonstrated by the tone of all the reports being "Shut up and don't ask questions" while painting those who do have questions as conspiracy theorists

...and oh boy did Kensington Palace looks like absolute wankers when Kate Middleton announced she was being treated for cancer, meaning they knowingly threw her under the bus and blamed her for the whole fake photo incident in spite knowing she was undergoing a course of chemotherapy

...yet this didn't stop the BBC using the term "conspiracy theorists" to describe people suggesting the Royal Family had been keeping things from people even in the days after Kate Middleton made it abundantly clear the Royal Family had been keeping things from us hence the very real concern for her wellbeing just like the BBC had been doing for a good week or so prior, which is the sort of disinformation that BBC Verify is supposed to call out

Congratulations are in order for Adin Ross after he blabbed on a Kick stream about how Andrew Tate was looking to do a moonlight flit out of Romania - so the Romanian authorities swooped in to arrest Tate after receiving reliable information about him trying to sneak out of the country

For some reason Julia Reel thought she could pull a Jussie Smollett by posting a video claiming she was manhandled at a bar before being tossed down the stairs - only for the bar to post the CCTV footage that showed just how much she was lying, as instead it showed her walking down the stairs with the security guard stood a good two feet behind her pointing her in the direction in which she could fuck off

The good news is that Laurence Fox has decided to stop taking people to court, which might be related to him going 0-2 in spurious libel cases in the space of a few weeks. The bad news is that Laurence Fox has pivoted to yelling online about how he won't "poison" his son by giving them their ADHD medication, which is likely going to see him in court yet again pretty damn quick

...yet because Laurence Fox cannot go a week without humiliating himself while being a cringy dickhead, he organised a march against Nike for that whole bullshit about the collar of the England kit where about forty people turned up - and would have seen that Fox was wearing a pair of fucking Nikes

...and then Laurence Fox pivoted back to screeching about his not-so-immediate family when he described ex-wife Billie Piper as a "junkie" in a rapidly-deleted tweet

...yet it wasn't long before Laurence Fox pivoted right back to being a cringy dickhead who may well have a humiliation fetish when he started bitching and moaning about not being allowed on the ballot for the London Mayoral election - at which point it was pointed out that he had not filled out the forms correctly, but on the plus side he wouldn't be losing his deposit as he forgot to pay that too

Just when you thought that Question Time couldn't be any more blatant with its far right platforming, first they host an episode about extremism with Melanie Phillips on the panel without considering that having somebody cited in Anders Brevik's manifesto might be a bad call, then the next week Rod Liddle was on the panel

After reading a whole two Wikipedia articles Destiny though that he could take his debating skills learned from years of screaming at Starcraft players into a debate with Norman Finkelstein about how Israel definitely isn't committing genocide in Gaza as an endpoint to decades of oppression - and it went so well that not only did Finkelstein clown him, but the guy supposedly backing up Destiny was laughing at how badly he was getting clowned

Noted drug cheat Lance Armstrong criticised modern cycling for not competing like they did in his day, apparently forgetting that competing like he did back in the day led to a lifetime ban from cycling and the list of Tour de France winners having a rather conspicuous seven year gap between 1999-2005, something which is much worse than teammates high-fiving each other after a race they had lost

AI scammer Billy Coull had the brilliant idea of whinging to the press about how his life was ruined by the public backlash to the Willy's Chocolate Experience scam. That would be the scam which he was responsible for. And accepted money for. And tried to stage for the least amount of money possible

Attempted wrestler Bill Goldberg probably shouldn't whinge (and definitely shouldn't sound like a bigoted moron) about Asuka having a longer undefeated streak in wrestling than he does, what with Asuka actually winning all of those matches instead of having half a dozen added to the list between episodes of Nitro and Thunder - oh, and Bill? It definitely doesn't help if you congratulated Asuka, while pronouncing he name correctly, about beating your streak when you were under WWE contract

Bonehead messiah Tommy Robinson had a real clever day where he attended the Crystal Palace vs Luton Town match, announcing he would be doing so on a podcast - and was promptly arrested due to a combination of him being under a banning order from all English football grounds as well as the minor inconvenience of having a ban order from literally the entirety of London, so violating two banning orders at once means he was effectively arrested for taking the piss

[gontagokuhara]

Also I was thinking about that one ask someone made in like 2019 when you said nagito had a shitlist that makoto and byakuya were on bc they're gay people he doesn't respect and I was like WHYYY im literally so used to nagito being up makoto's arse in both canon/fanon it was surprising!!! Also peep the nagito with hooves reference to Mr brunner in that post

Like since I went through the old asks earlier today idk if you were serious about it but nagito with hooves is quite literally just Mr tumnus and I kept laughing at the imagery while I was at work Ngl I was procrastinating on the 4 quizzes and 1 test I have tomorrow by reading some of the old pointy objects asks 💀

okay last thing I just wanna say I can't remember who named gonta but to me it was so unhinged and random so it was probably nagito wasn't it LMFAO also the idea of baby baby gonta literally makes me want to cry please keep doing him right in this fic PLEASE😭 okay that's it BYEE

Okay I just wanna say idk what rantaro looks like when his power is activated but I cannot imagine anything other than a That's So Raven mid-sentence freeze where he looks like the "Monday left me broken" cat. Just like "yeah so anyway I was—👁👁...." and shuichi has just,,,, never questioned it LMFAOO

hiiiiii <3 when i saw this last night i ALSO went deep in the pointy objects tag to find the asks ur referencing but also a littol trip down memory lane ahead of getting started writing. we all know the drill by now all of my ramblings are below the cut <3

first of all (because u sent this one first) ur very right about shuuichi being a little bit of a bozo wrt: noticing rantarou's having a Precog Moment. he's (rantarou) has grown pretty used to getting hit with brief flashes of the future, so he's pretty good at maintaining a poker face when he's struck by one. we see it the sliiiightest bit way back in ch1 while rantarou is driving, and in the middle of speaking he is hit with a vision — it's not something he elaborates on but he does see more or less what ends up happening once the monsters rush the car. naturally makoto and byakuya are good at sussing out when he's having one — and as a very heavy aside, it was a vision of him and shuuichi as best buddies his first day of school that had him pursuing the friendship so ardently, and ultimately got them where they are now. brothers <3

and yes back to those asks!!! they are up to like.....jesus christ late-2019 was over 4 years ago at this point so THEREfore so are the asks. that said, in reading over them all again i don't think there's anything i said way back when that doesn't hold at least slightly true currently (with one exception, being the mystery poly relationship ending, and that's more to do with issues i foresee in incorporating it into the fic itself in a way that makes sense). the ones about nagito though? DEFINITELY still bang all this time later

which leads me into: your questions! there is definitely a level of respect nagito allows towards makoto (byakuya....not So much LOL) but when you know a guy for thousands and thousands and thousands of years.....and he marries the obnoxious rich guy in what is so *obviously* a downgrade for a big five god like himself (not unlike how nagito at least somewhat views hajime as having somewhat "settled" for nagito; i could go on and on about the inner machinations of po!nagito i love that stupid fuck for how comparatively little he's on-screen)...............nagito is a little disappointed. even all this time later. he is not byakuya's biggest fan LMFAO

tbh so much of my early answers on nagito (aside from how he was actually Present the first few chapters, so it made sense) stem directly from the fact he (+ shuuichi) are the direct inspiration for pointy objects as a whole. specifically this video, which i credit ch1 as being the catalyst for pointy objects becoming.......well almost 200k and counting. shuuichi as percy's counterpart and nagito as dionysus the unpaid, eternally cursed camp counselor (with hajime as mr brunner, thankfully hoofless) was the starting point for pointy objects FOR sure, and it's just expanded quite a lot past that over all this time. that video jumpstarted the idea in my sister (who handed it over to me pretty much from the get-go), and the pjo musical is what i loosely structured the lore/plot around, but i think the observations i've heard from readers that pointy objects does well at expanding well past the boundaries of the source material hold true! if you do happen to take a peek at the linked video, though: pretty much the whole of ch2 was very heavily inspired by the song which i think is obvious on reread. that sprite edit started it all fr thank you youtube user evie

and yes: it was nagito who found and subsequently named gonta! 8 years and counting of gonta being camp's designated favorite by literally everybody (nagito) (hajime) (most of the campers) (the mioda triplets) (me, connorlizabeth bazwrites). as is probably obvious [gestures at my entire tumblr] i am gontas #1 ride or die, he's my pride and joy, and i will definitely continue having fun with po!gonta TRUST <3 in the spirit of not saying too much ill leave it at.........gonta enjoyers. we are going to eat good.

[greyeyedmonster-18]

Ten Fics, Ten Lines Snippets

rules: pick any 10 of your fics, scroll somewhere to the mid point, pick a [few] line(s), and share it! then tag 10 people.  

(tagged by @femme--de--lettres and currently going through my back log of tag games; this is lucky because i have exactly 10 fics on ao3(( well i guess 9, but like close enough)) , but also terrible because uh, this means i have to go through the fics that shall not be. named.

Well go from New to Old, yes? and i am tagging all my mutals in this <3. tag tag tag you're it.)

Work in Process (taken from a chapter that isn't published yet):

That of the habits Sirius was trying to fall back into, wishing for Remus's body on the left side of the bed and longing to hold him was the first to make itself at home again. Not well-rounded meals, not consistent showers--but clinging to someone for comfort.

2. postcard from paris

Alcohol rushing through his veins, reminding him of the first night they had been in this position, and Remus didn’t care. He didn't care then, and he couldn't be fucked to care now. James leaned forward, teeth nipping at Remus’s earlobe gently, and a shiver went up Remus’s spine.

3. 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration

It was going to be the deal breaker.

So was the shoot for the moon, even if you’ll miss you’ll land among the stars he heard the fourth time they were together, Remus face down in a pillow, arse up, pushing back against James’s hips even as such horrors were being spilled from his boyfriends mouth.

4. No Matter the Wreckage

“They haven’t gone into your room,  you know,” Regulus’ voice said to his back as he started down the opposite end of the hall, “They haven’t touched your chair at the dining table. Father is in his study a lot more…” Sirius stopped, taking a moment to remind himself that this was his brother and if he was going to pick a fight, it wasn’t going to be in with him.

5. Fault Lines

It took time, but Sirius had slowly started building a life that looked a little less like distractions and a little more like moving on--from grief, from hurt, from a lifetime of disappointment at the hands of people he thought he could count on.

6. ten reasons (to go to michigan)

Remus felt his face flush and he closed his eyes giving himself permission, just this once to revel in the high. As much as being in his apartment made him remember dark and stormy days of the past, something occurred to him. 

It had been over a month, and Benjy hadn’t crossed through Remus’ mind.

Because instead of heartbreak.

Instead of counting up an invisible list of crimes and fighting in courtrooms…

Remus could think of Sirius.

7. Carry Me Away

Half the pizza was gone, and so was half the day. So was the hesitancy Sirius had felt to touch the other boy. Even the days prior, Sirius was always wary (without the help of alcohol) to initiate contact. Unsure if it would be okay, unsure if he was doing it right. But when he saw Remus inhale deeply, or whisper Sirius into his mouth, Sirius knew he was onto something. 

8. *grumbles, whispering* From Fire to Fire

“I don’t...I don’t think people like us get more than one shot. At love, you know?” Marlene started, “People like James and Lily? I know they’re destined to be or whatever, but they...they could have multiple loves in their lives if they wanted to. But...I don’t think we’re that lucky.”

9. Chef's Kiss

James didn’t believe in soulmates, or at least he didn’t think he did. He was raised to believe everyone's soul had met others before life on Earth and that these connections to specific souls were meant to lead you to a higher purpose and a deeper relationship. When he met Sirius, he was convinced this was one of them (his Mum even supported this idea, convinced of the same thing). But there were tiers and layers and despite believing deeply that people were meant to find each other, James had lost the faith behind the idea of a one true love kind of soulmate. But the way Lilys hand lit his entire body on fire, made him rethink everything he thought he knew.

10. (scrapping from tumblr here) mercy-- a petunia x sirius fic

The events of the day came back to him in waves, Sirius not believing it was actually his body sitting at the table with Petunia Dursley discussing her dead husband and son as if he wasn’t lying between his teeth. It wasn’t often Sirius said thank you to his parents—actually, it was hardly ever, Sirius mostly cursing them and wishing their rules and influence away—but he was grateful for all the time he spent lying as a child.

[moony-2001]

I’m sorry, did you not read my post? Bc I’m reading your critiques and I’m hearing a lot of wooshing noises. I shall once again say, if you don’t like what I have to say don’t interact with my content. The first thing you see when you click on my page is the words “professional critic” and every post I’ve made criticizing LO is tagged to hell and back with tags like “LO critic”, “unpopular LO”, and “anti LO”. If you’re mad bc you don’t like what I have to say yet chose to interact with my post anyway, that’s a you problem.

Now, let’s address all your little points here:

Percy Jackson is about the made up kids of Greek gods and not the gods themselves. I like PJ bc Rick Riordan has actually done research about Greek Mythology. He published a whole ass book separate from Percy Jackson retelling Greek Myths that was pretty much spot on with how the original myths were told. And as much as I love Marvel, I’m not particularly happy with the way they portrayed Norse Mythology but then again the Marvel franchise revolves around a COMIC BOOK SERIES and not an ACTUAL CULTURE. 

Percy Jackson is a work of fiction with Greek mythology as the base. Lore Olympus is advertised as a retelling and thus Greek mythology is front and center. If Rachel wanted to retell the story of Hades and Persephone, she should’ve taken it more seriously and treated it less like a Lolita fan fiction where she and Mads Mikkelsen are the leads.

Additionally a lot of art, whether renaissance or included in a book with various Greek myths, usually depicts random mortal women or nymphs being raped by whichever god. Also your little rape point is irrelevant because we see Apollo rape Persephone in the 24th episode of the comic; readers saw that whether they wanted to or not. So.

Yes we are in the age of the internet where ✨anything can be researched✨. Nice sentiment and all, but you should be directing that point to people who can’t be arsed to do actual research about Greek mythology and just blindly assume that’s how things are instead of people like me who have been reading/studying Greek mythology for the last 10 years of my life. I’d say I’m pretty damn informed. Can’t say the same for the majority of LO fans tho

No shit things were gonna be changed. It’s supposed to be a “modern feminist retelling” what a joke that is. But Rachel took that idea and ran with it to the ends of the earth. Pretty much every character in the comic (except Zeus, he pretty much stays the same except he’s a little less nuanced) has faced major character assassination in order to lift up our protagonists and make them look better. If you have to alter characters to make them look worse so your protagonists can look better, your protagonists suck and so does your writing.

You claim people can understand that things have been changed from the original, but the comments under the episodes beg to differ. Once again Percy Jackson is about the made up children of the gods so that point is null and void

Also the problem with your whole little “the writers changed what they wanted to better fit their ideas” is great and all except for the fact that Rachel is changing whole-ass aspects of a culture and a Hellenistic religion that has existed for THOUSANDS of years and continues to exist today. You can not just go in and change it how you please to better fit your narrative. You know where people change one narrative to another in real life? The fucking history books. Can you imagine if someone went “yeah sure, this is how x happened but also not really bc it makes the story I want to tell look bad” oh wait that’s already happening.

I have no problem with people liking Lore Olympus. I was a die hard fan up until the trial. I had the books, I owned merch. I could say the same about you. You like LO? Fine, why the hell would I care. You also have tons of media that fit your liking at the tips of your fingers and therefore don’t have to interact with mine.

I’m not “problematizing” every little aspect of the comic. I (and many other LO critics) am calling out the fact that at the base level this comic sucks because it is inherently disrespectful of a culture that has been stolen and pandered and capitalized on for decades by everyone and their mother and pushes/normalizes really problematic ideas.

In my post, I am calling out the blatant racism, classism, and fetishization of a minority group in the comic. It seems to me that you’re excusing all those things by saying I’m being a nitpick and “problematizing” the comic. If that’s the case, that’s really embarrassing for you. It’s giving “I can excuse racism but I draw the line at animal cruelty”.

The real-world impact of Lore Olympus

i.e. do your research Rachel

Trigger warning: racism, fetishization, appropriation, mentions of SA

Long post ahead

A while ago, someone told me that Lore Olympus was just a silly little comic written out of boredom. That it was made to be "funny". They told me that "[I] can't hope [for] an extremely [well-written] story when it was just made with the intention to make something goofy" and that if Rachel actually wanted to make something serious like I had, she would write a book and not a comic.

At the time of this exchange, it was past 1 a.m. and I was exhausted. I did not want to argue with this person and it simply wasn't worth my time or energy in the moment.

But looking back at that (mostly one-sided) interaction, I can't help but think that there is so much wrong with that point of view. Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion about Lore Olympus, whether good or bad. But Lore Olympus isn't just some silly little nothing comic about nothing important. It is a comic that actively appropriates and erases Greek Culture. It is a comic that has no respect for the actual stories that have been passed down over thousands of years whether by word of mouth or written text. It is a comic that perpetuates a false narrative and harmful stereotypes about characters or certain groups of people. So, no, it's not just a silly little comic.

Incorrect information

Here’s an example of what I mean:

When I was doing research for my post about the 10 year time skip, I looked up Leuce to reconfirm the little information I knew about her. Wanna guess the first thing that popped up about her?

A Lore Olympus Wiki article.

Okay. How about Minthe? Hundreds of pictures of her from Lore Olympus and a LO Wiki article as one of the top 3 results. Both character are horribly represented in LO and unfortunately there isn’t really any documented stories or records that can refute how LO paints them. Because of this, other characters in Greek Mythology like Leuce and Minthe, whose stories have little to no documentation, stand to suffer the most harm from deliberate misrepresentation on Rachel’s part.

Of course well-known and better documented figures in Greek mythology face slander as well. What about Thetis or Leto? How about Apollo? All of their portrayals in LO are HORRIBLE. I have seen people online absolutely drag them to filth not because they're upset about how the character is portrayed compared to their mythological counterpart, but because they have no knowledge of how they are actually portrayed outside of LO. They just assume that's how the characters are. Similarly, people who have either very little or no prior knowledge of Greek Mythology and Culture would look at the comic and go "Yep, sounds legit. It must be true." and go about thinking that what is portrayed in LO is accurate to what was transcribed thousands of years ago.

Creative interpretations and racism/fetishization within LO

Don’t get me wrong. Creative interpretations and artistic liberties can be great. When they’re done tastefully. I personally think if done correctly, a Greek myth spun in a modern way has the potential be very good. But that's not what we were given.

Characters like Minthe, Leuce, and Thetis (all nymphs btw) are portrayed as trashy tramps who put out and are used as a foil sabotage Persephone and/or her relationship with Hades. Compare that to Greek Mythology where in the Iliad, Thetis is very well-respected by the gods, particularly Hera. Unfortunately, other similar characters like satrys (and basically any character that isn’t a god) are usually portrayed as a low-class POC that can be easily exploited, manipulated, or used as a temporary villain/lover/pawn to “get back” at Persephone, our white-coded protagonist who can do no wrong.

Additionally, there is a clear race/class bias against characters like nymphs in LO. We see many cases scattered throughout the comic of gods like Hera or Aphrodite referring to nymphs as "trash" or "low class" or the idea that nymphs do not belong with gods being heavily implied if not outright said. I cannot tell you how often I've seen Minthe be called some variant of "cheap" by the readers of LO. Even Persephone (who created the flower nymphs) treats them with such disrespect. She frequently calls them some variant of "stupid" or "simple" like saying how they're not the sharpest crayons in the box even though she's the one WHO MADE THEM. However, it's so odd not really to note that nymphs like Echo, Amphitrite, or Psyche (who was previously disguised as a nymph) are not discriminated against. This is because they are liked or trusted by the gods they are around and ergo are often portrayed as the "good ones", which is a disgusting mindset to have.

We also see the fetishization of nymphs in the comic that is disturbingly similar to the fetishization of women who are Black, Asian, or Latina. It is a known fact that Hades has a flower nymph fetish. Not only is this implied in the comic, but Rachel stated it outright in an old Patreon post. Nymphs are also generally treated as sex-symbols, disposable, and as a lesser-than. Zeus frequently displays this behavior by abandoning nymphs he knocked up in the mortal realm.

For example, when Persephone finds out Apollo is dating Daphne, she isn't upset he's dating her friend. She's upset he's dating a flower nymph, beings that are generally considered to be "rare", "dumb", and objects of sexual desire. Ew.

Even on the Lore Olympus website (loreolympians.com) nymphs are regarded as "beautiful", "desirable", and "very exotic". And when they're not described in a sexual manner they're say it with me now regarded as "low class" or "workers" for some kind of god/goddess.

Final thoughts

So not only is the characterization of characters like Minthe or Thetis harmful to Greek culture and the stories that are so ingrained in their society, but it is also perpetuating harmful stereotypes about people of color and women who are confident in their sexuality.

Of course, the characters within Greek Mythology had their own issues. Zeus was a serial rapist, many of the goddesses deemed to be "feminist" by today's standards were actually horribly misogynistic looking at you Athena. But 1. that's just how things were back then (but that does not make it right) and 2. all of the good, the bad, and the ugly is still there in Greek Mythology. They're not denying how fucked up it is, but they're also not changing their history to better fit their own narrative or the narrative of the modern world. It exists, it happened, but now it is studied and called out by historians.

Rachel, on the other hand, is doing exactly that. She is actively changing the Greek's cultural history to better fit her fic's narrative. She is constantly sweeping things under the rug or going "No this is how it ACTUALLY happened". Lore Olympus is marketed as a "feminist retelling" yet somehow, it takes allllll the ugly parts from Greek Mythology (rape, incest, problematic age gaps, dubious consent, etc.), mixes it with a majority of the issues we have in the modern world (white feminism, rape-apologists/rape culture, grooming, fetishization of certain minority groups, etc.) and then amplifies the concoction to 20. Lore Olympus cannot be a "progressive, feminist, retelling" and also have characters that are morally apprehensive/come straight from the ancient myths. It does not work. In fact, IMO it makes all the problems from both eras worse.

News flash: actual cultures that are still thriving today are not your toys. They are not "made up". They matter. Do better.

[mrsalwayswrite]

Sinners and Saints (Sihtric x reader)

Summary: One day you stumble upon your childhood friend, Osferth, whom you have not seen in years. Yet the more time you spend with him, the more you find yourself drawn to his companion, Sihtric….and the butterflies his dark eyes give you.

This is my contribution to @emilyhufflepufftlk 100 followers challenge! Congratulations again! I’m so happy for you! 

My prompt was - "Love doesn't discriminate, between the sinners and the saints." - Lin-Manuel Miranda, Hamilton (in bold within the story)

Words: 5500

Warnings: A couple of swear words, fluff, my poor attempts at humor, Osferth being a good bro. 

Tag List: @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @flowers-in-your-hayr​

This gorgeous moodboard was made by @flowers-in-your-hayr​. All credit goes to her! 

"...so there she was, aye, and next thing I know, she flips 'er dress up and I see the most perfect set of…."

 "I'm going to be sick." Osferth mumbled to himself, trying to block out Finan's retelling of his prior night. To the laughter of his companions, he started to push away from the outdoor table at the alehouse. He was no virgin anymore, Finan and Uhtred had seen to that, but he still felt squeamish when listening to their stories of recent conquests. His mother's voice whispered in the back of his mind, things she had told him before her passing, about respect and love. Plus, he could not help but think that this idea of conquests, of women's worth derived from what pleasure a man could take from their bodies, was what brought bastards into this world….like him. 

 "Alright, Finan, we get it. You saw the arse of a goat and couldn't help yourself." Uhtred teased, slinging an arm around Osferth so he could not escape them- most likely to find a church and pray for their souls. 

 "Oi, lord! Ya know that was one time!" Finan feigned mock-outrage, making Uhtred and Sihtric laugh. 

 Osferth put a hand over his eyes as if that would somehow block the image from his mind. Something he desperately did not want there. 

 "How much longer are we here, lord?" Sihtric asked, changing the subject, while twirling a dagger between his hands fluidly. 

 Although Osferth would never admit it aloud, and God forgive him, it was hard not to be jealous of how easily his companions handled their weapons like they had been born with weapons in hand. They continued to tell him it was practice. Recently though, he decided it was a gift that he clearly did not have. 

 "Until I feel satisfied with the training of Lord Godwin's fyrd and his defenses." Uhtred stated indifferently, as if it was something he had to repeat to himself often. 

 "Ya think King Alfred knew how much of a horse's arse Lord Godwin is?"

 Uhtred glanced up, a tiny smirk on his lips. "Probably."

 "But he knew you were the man for the job." Osferth commented. Not necessarily to defend his father but to hopefully bolster Uhtred's confidence. "The men respect you, even if their lord fails to acknowledge his own respect."

 "The baby monk is right." Finan said. "What else needs to be done for the town?"

 Uhtred and Finan began discussing ideas and strategies, Sihtric adding an occasional comment but mostly just listening. 

 Osferth found his attention wandering, since this was an area outside of his expertise. His gaze drifted to the town and its residents who moved about to complete their duties under the midday sun. Their group had only been in this large town for two days and already Osferth was keen to return to Coccham. 

 From amidst the crowd, a familiar face caught his attention. The world tilted off its axis as his entire body went rigid, all his focus zeroed in on her. His heart hammered in his chest and the air whooshed from his lungs painfully. 

 "Y/n?" He muttered to himself, disbelief and shock clearly painted in his tone and on his face. 

 "Baby monk, ya alright?"

 Finan's words did even register, so consumed by the ghost before him. Rapidly, he slid off the bench, almost losing his footing when he went to stand, but pressed on, hurrying towards her. 

 "Y/n!" He called, an almost desperate tone in his yell. 

 When she did not turn around, he shouted louder. "Y/N!" 

 That time she paused, then slowly turned to find him standing still amongst those walking around him, a solid rock in a stream of people. He held his breath as he intently watched her expression, suddenly worried seeing him would not be as meaningful as he hoped. He could see her utter his name silently, eyes wide. Then in the next moment, she dropped the basket on her hip and ran towards him. He opened his arms just in time for her to collide with him, and with her embrace, a painful wave of nostalgia and guilt crashed over him with the strength of a tempest. 

 "It's really you." She finally whispered, peering at him in awe. 

 "Hi." He smiled, his own shock clouding his mind from forming coherent sentences.  

 Then to his surprise, she reared back and punched him in the arm. 

 "Ouch! What was that for?" He whined, rubbing the offended limb. 

 Throwing her hands in the air, they landed on her hips as her voice rose in anger. "For disappearing in the middle of the night without telling me!"

 "I did tell you."

 "That you were THINKING about leaving, not that you WERE leaving!" She reared back and punched him in the arm again, ignoring his pained cry as she continued to berate him. "I spent an entire day running around the monastery trying to find you only for Father Harold to finally pull me aside and tell me you left for Wincheaster." 

 And there was the heaping of guilt he knew he deserved. "I'm sorry….I just….I just knew if I didn't leave that night, then I never would."

 Her face softened at his quiet admission, understanding passing in her eyes. "I know. I wasn't truly surprised…. Just wish you'd have told me before."

 "I'm sorry."

 She sighed, all anger and frustration disappearing, much to his relief. She was a force to be reckoned with when truly in her fury. "So, what are you doing here?"

 "Ah, traveled here with the Lord Uhtred to assist Lord Godwin in his defenses….or something."

 "Uhtred? That Uhtred?"

 He smiled at her, catching the reverence in her tone. "That very one."

 "How did you find him? How did you join him? Wait! Are you a warrior now? We have a lot to talk about and you better get started." There went the hands on her hips again, making his smile widen at the image. Even as a young girl, when her hands were on her hips, you knew she meant business. 

 "Would you like to meet him first?"

 A shy look passed over her face that he was unused to seeing. "I'm…. I'm not presentable to meet a lord."

 He scanned her, noting the dried mud on the hem of her dress and shoes, the small smear of what looked like flour on her left temple. What he noticed most was how the years had made her even more beautiful. She had always been a pretty girl but now, she truly looked like a beautiful woman. A fact he was unsure of how to feel about. 

 He chuckled lightly after a moment. "Well, you certainly smell better than Lord Uhtred so I think it's fine."

 That caused her to tip her head back and laugh loudly, the desired effect of his comment. She gathered up her basket and walked next to Osferth, back to the table where his companions were. It was impossible to ignore their curious stares as they approached. 

 "Lord Uhtred, may I introduce y/n. Y/n, this is Lord Uhtred of Bebbanburg." Osferth said, standing next to her at the end of the table.

 Uhtred nodded graciously, clearly wondering why this woman mattered and why Osferth was introducing her. 

 "Oh, it's an honor to meet you!" Y/n gushed, a bright smile on her face. "Uncle Leofric told us so much about you, but I never thought I'd ever meet you in person."

 "Leofric?" That caught his lord's attention, his gaze narrowing and eyeing her with renewed interest. "How did you know that turd?"

 "When he came to visit Osferth, he'd tell us stories."

 "Ah….all exaggerated, of course." Uhtred said with a cocky smirk. 

 "Wait. I think we're missin' the most important thing here." Finan leaned forward, dark eyes bouncing between Osferth and her, as he pointed a finger at them, hand still wrapped around his cup. "Ya said 'Uncle Leofric'....are ya related to Osferth?"

 Osferth answered quickly. "No, her family owned the farm next to the monastery, so we grew up together." Then he furrowed his brows as a thought hit him. He had been so amazed to see his childhood best friend (only friend really) that he had not realized that she should be back at the farm and not in this town. "Wait, y/n, why are you here and not at the farm?"

 Her face crumpled for a brief second before she was able to mask it into a neutral expression. She shrugged casually, but he could read the subtle tension in the action. "We lost the farm, so mother and I came here to look for work."

 "Ah." There were so many things he wanted to ask but could tell now was not the right time. If she lived here, he would have plenty of time to hear the full story later. Instead he decided to change the subject. "So, you know Lord Uhtred, the others are Finan and Sihtric…. And Sihtric is also a bastard." He added as an afterthought. 

 That made her face light up as she turned to look at the Dane. "Hey, another bastard! We really need to start a club. We can all rant about how awful our fathers are."

 "You're a bastard?" Uhtred asked, shock evident in his voice. 

 "Yes, my lord. My mother was a servant for a lord. Got pregnant. The lord's wife did not like that so sent my pregnant mother back to her family. Certainly, it was our Lord's Will because how else would I have been able to grow up with Osferth?" She asked, patting him on the cheek affectionately. He blushed and swatted her hand away, much to the other's amusement. 

 "I reckon you have quite a few amusin' stories of growin' up with Osferth, eh?" Finan smirked. 

 "I might….but I don't share secrets for free." She matched his smirk with her own crooked smile. 

 He slapped his hand on the table. "I'll owe ya a drink! I need to 'ear this."

 "No….oh no, no, no." Osferth said but knew it was a lost cause before he even tried to deter them. The rest were already deciding when and where to meet that night. "Lord help me."

 "It's not that bad." She teased, bumping his arm with hers. "The worst one is when we went streaking naked through the monastery."

 Osferth felt his face heat up like the flames of hell itself as everyone laughed. "It was your idea."

 "Yeah, yeah, so you like to remind me." She smiled fondly. "Now, if I don't get back home, my mother is going to think I've run off with some man or I've been kidnapped. Either way, she will raise the fyrd herself to find me. I will see you all tonight."

 The others said their goodbyes but before she could step too far away, Osferth gently touched her arm, halting her movement. 

 "Y/n….I'm….I'm glad our paths have crossed once again."

 She pulled him into a tight embrace. "I am too, Osferth. I've missed you." With that, she turned and walked away with her basket still on her hip; but not without glancing over her shoulder at the group before disappearing around some buildings. 

 Once out of sight, Osferth sighed and turned back to his companions, only to see them all still staring intently in the direction she disappeared. 

 "No….y/n is off-limits to you fornicators." He stated firmly, well as firmly as he could be. 

 "She's very pretty…." Uhtred declared, a playful grin on his face. 

 "Lord, no. All of you, keep your hands off of her."

 "Or what?" Finan chuckled, eyes alight with mischief. "You'll fight us, baby monk?"

 "I will if I must."

 "Alright. Her dignity won't be tarnished." Uhtred lifted his cup in Osferth's direction. "Your reputation might be tonight depending on what stories she shares." 

 Osferth groaned, sitting back down next to his lord. "I'm going to need a lot of ale."

 "That can certainly be arranged!" Finan laughed, jovial once more. 

 As discussion started back up again, they all missed the silent, longing glance Sihtric snuck one last time in the direction she walked away….

 *****

 Over the next several weeks Lord Uhtred helped increase the defenses of the town and instructed the guards and fyrd how to better defend against the Danes. 

 During those weeks, you found yourself frequently spending time with Osferth and his companions. First it started off with meeting them in the evenings for ale, laughter and good company. Within days, it became almost expected for one of them to purposefully seek you out. Most of the time it was Osferth and Sihtric coming to join you in whatever your tasks for the day because they were bored or unwanted in meetings. It was not difficult to tell that although they were certainly welcomed members of Uhtred's group, not everyone else saw them in such a positive light. 

 So the three of you often passed the hours away together, waiting until evening to rejoin Uhtred and Finan at the alehouse. Their presence became such a regular occurrence that your mother practically adopted them, they even had their assigned seats at your small kitchen table for meals. Somehow, they seamlessly slipped into your daily life in a way that seemed like they were meant to be there this whole time. 

 Even at the alehouse in the evenings, you usually found yourself nestled between Osferth and Sihtric on the bench. A place you certainly found yourself enjoying more and more….especially next to the Dane. 

 Over the weeks, there was something growing between you and the Dane. It gradually revealed itself with each passing day, growing like the roots of an oak tree. It was through the borderline flirtatious comments that you teased each other with. It was in the subtle touches that caused butterflies in your stomach to dance, from your fingers barely gracing each other when passing something, to the way you leaned your head on his shoulder when your eyelids threatened to close, to the way your thighs would touch under the table and away from view of the others. It was in the lingering looks when your gazes locked and you swore you never wanted to look away. It was in the consistency of being next to one another whenever you could, either sitting at a table or just walking down the street, almost like your bodies were magnetized to one another's. 

 Plus the more you talked to Sihtric, the more you desired to know about him. For he was like no other man you had ever met. 

 Almost a fortnight after you reunited with Osferth, there was one particular evening after staying out far too late with the four men and drinking a bit too much, Sihtric graciously offered to walk you back home. You knew propriety demanded Osferth should be the one to escort you but he was already passed out, head on the table and snores emitting from his mouth. Giggling at your childhood friend, you accepted Sihtric's offer and the two of you easily fell into step. 

 On the walk you learned more about his past, about going up in Dunholm and his cruel father. You had heard bits and pieces while with Osferth and the others. Maybe it was under the cover of darkness, maybe it was the extra ale flowing through both of your blood, but he confessed secrets to you he had never told another besides his mother. When you reached your home, before he could slip away, you clutched his arm and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. After, you bid him goodnight and slipped inside your humble home. 

 After that night, he always walked you home, sometimes alone and sometimes one of the others would join. But when it was just you two, when you were alone, you would bid him a goodnight with a kiss on the cheek or he would kiss your hand, locking eyes with you in a way that made a fire stir in your belly and your core clench. 

 There was definitely something between the two of you, but neither seemed able to verbalize it or take the next step. 

 *****

 "So, what is going on between you and Cedric?" 

 You turned your head to look at Osferth, who laid on the grass next to you, soaking in the heat of the early afternoon sun. "What?"

 "You know….that blacksmith. The one you were talking to the other day."

 "Oh." The memory hit you. You had stopped by to drop off your mother's damaged cooking pot for Cedric to attempt in fixing, although you personally thought it was a helpless cause. The dent in it was significant, but he offered to see what he could do. As you dropped it off at his workshop, the two of you began discussing an approaching saint's day and the celebration that would occur with it. 

 Several minutes later, you heard your name called and looked over to see Osferth and Sihtric walking towards you. You bid Cedric a farewell, promising to stop by the next day to come pick up the pot. After receiving his promise to try his best at fixing it, you headed off towards the stables with your fellow bastards. At the time, you had not thought the encounter significant but with it happening two days ago and Osferth now bringing it up, you wondered how long he had been ruminating on it. 

 Finally, you simply said, "he's a good man, and has been kind to my mother and I since we arrived here."

 "Is he….pursuing you?" Osferth turned his head to scrutinize you, his lips pursed slightly as if concerned about your answer. 

 You openly laughed at the notion. "No, that's silly. He is just a kind man."

 If anything, you had to fend off flirtatious advancements from some of the young men that worked under Cedric. Those same young men quickly learned to keep their eyes on their work and mouths shut. When one openly called out to you, and before you could offer a sharp retort, Cedric threw a hammer at him from across the shop. He bellowed that he did not allow heathens to work for him and if they chose to act godless then they needed to find a new place of work. Their blatant interest diminished after that and Cedric made a point to be the only one that conversed with you if you came to the shop. Although he was easily ten years your senior, you found him a likeable man with a quick wit and sarcastic comments that occasionally left you in stitches. 

 The idea of him pursuing you was an amusing idea. He was still a bachelor, never having married, claiming that his work and apprentices kept him far too busy for much else. 

 Your answer appeared to satisfy Osferth. A thoughtful look crossed his face and he opened his mouth as if to speak, but immediately slowly closed it and turned his head back to stare at the blue sky. 

 A stillness settled after your answer, only interrupted by the frequent bird song and the wind through the tall grass. You closed your eyes, enjoying the sun's warmth and just lying around relaxing on the hill outside of the town, away from the hustle and bustle and chores that demanded your attention.  

 "He was watching you like a man who wants a woman." Sihtric stated after a couple minutes of peaceful silence. 

 Startled by his sour tone, you shifted up to look over at the Dane. He sat on the other side of Osferth, one leg propped up and an arm casually slung over it, but his gaze was focused straight ahead, staring off into the distance. Now that you thought about it, over the past two days Sihtric had become more reserved and sullen than you had ever seen. Even his companions commented on it a few times to which he would shrug his shoulders or make an excuse and walk away. You had thought he just missed Coccham, the group having been away for so long, or something happened that made him introspective. It had also not escaped your notice how the prior closeness between you two had halted. Now you wondered if there was something more to his demeanor.  

 "Well, that is most unfortunate for him since I am not interested in him."

 "Does your mother not want you to marry?" Osferth asked, his voice deceptively neutral. 

 Sighing, you leaned back on your hands. Eventually you knew Osferth would bring up the topic, he was your friend after all and you were certainly of marriageable age. Actually far too old to not be married by some people's standards, but you ignored them. "She does but she has told me that she will not force it upon me. She said I should make my own choice….that if I am able, I should choose love."

 You knew your mother offered you that choice in hopes your life would turn out differently than her own. 

 "But if Cedric is a good, kind man….could you not love him….or someone like him?" Osferth pressed. 

 "Perhaps. There are plenty of men I have seen who the church would call a 'good' man but are cruel in their own home, and there are many men who are calloused but it's obvious they love their wife and children. My love doesn't discriminate, between the sinners and the saints. I would rather choose a man whom I know loves and cares for me than a man I know is 'good' but carries no love in his heart." You paused, the candid confession rolling off your tongue before you realized it. Sighing, you ran a hand over your hair before quietly saying. "I just….I just want someone that loves me….sinner or saint."

 Not a word was spoken as all three contemplated your statement, the silence hanging heavy like a brewing storm. Tilting your face to the sky, unable to meet the gazes of your companions, you chastised yourself for the candor with which you spoke. Osferth had asked a simple question initially and you chose to make it complicated. They did not need to know how you longed for love, how the hope for it in your potential future was what kept you going. It was foolish and you supposed after this, they would only see you as a silly girl with outlandish dreams of a storybook romance. 

 Finally, Osferth broke the silence. "Well, I shall be praying fervently for this man….hopefully he knows what he is getting into before he marries you."

 You laughed, appreciating his lighthearted comment. Reaching a hand out to smack Osferth's arm, you teased. "Keep that up and you won't be invited to my wedding."

 "Your mother will let me in."

 "Yeah, you're probably right." You glanced over in the direction of the town, regretting that your time away had to end. "I need to head back, those chores won't finish themselves."

 The three of you headed back to the town, quiet contemplation cloaking your group. Yet you feared that whatever spark lay between you and the Dane had been extinguished forever by your unexpected honesty. For still he refused to look your way, keeping his gaze focused forward. If your heart fissured within your chest, you swallowed down the pain. It was better for the spark to die out now then burn brightly only to be smothered later. 

 Or at least that was what you told yourself. 

 *****

 "What you said….about the sinners and the saints…."

 You whirled around, heart leaping into your throat with a silent scream on your tongue. In the small herb garden behind your house, you had thought you were alone. After the awkward conversation on the hill earlier that day, you sought solace in your chores. Thankfully Osferth and Sihtric headed back to meet with their companions on their own accord, leaving you to trudge through your muddled thoughts with all the grace of a newborn foal. 

 Now you found the very person who your thoughts centered on, standing just a few paces from you….and your heart began to race for a very different reason. 

 When his voice trailed off, those dark eyes that set fire licking through your veins dropped to the ground, you quietly stood up from where you had knelt, wiping the dirt from your hands, although you moved no closer. 

 "Sihtric?" You tried to prompt him. 

 "Is it true?" His piercing gaze lifted to meet yours, stealing the very breath from your lungs. "Your love doesn't discriminate?"

 "Yes." You breathed out. 

 He nodded silently before taking a step closer to you. "And what about….what about Danes?"

 Your chest pulled tight at his words, yet a coy smile grew on your lips. The flutter in your belly made your gaze drop for a moment as you tried to stifle the excitement making butterflies dance. Although this was no declaration, it was the closest the two of you had talked about what lay between you. Taking a steadying breath, you prayed this moment would not pass by without confessing the truth that you had harbored in your heart for weeks now. 

 "Not even towards Danes." You shook your head, the smile still on your lips. "And…. There is one I'm becoming quite fond of lately."

 "Yeah?" He took two steps closer, somehow moving cautiously but eating the ground with each determined step. 

 "But….do you think this Dane could be….fond of me?" You softly murmured, feeling as if your heart lay in the palms of your hands for all to see. 

 That last step separating you two disappeared almost before you finished asking your question. His hands ever so gently reached over to take yours, entwining your fingers together. The two of you stood so close, your chests almost touched with each breath you took. Your breathing seemed to cease under the intensity of his gaze and a shiver raced up your spine. Yet you had no desire to withdraw from him.

 "He would be a fool not to." He whispered, the barest hint of a tremble in his voice. "I'd bet you are constantly on this Dane's mind. That he cannot go a day without seeing your face and hearing your laugh. You are the first thought that he wakes to and the reason he falls asleep with a smile. That you have become the north star that it seems the gods have been guiding him towards for his whole life."

  As he spoke, everything faded to oblivion around you. The past and future vanished. Dane versus Saxon disappeared. The world narrowed down to this….this moment….this moment that you had dreamt of but never thought would come true. 

 The two of you continued to stand there, lost in one another's eyes with fingers intertwined. Your heart raced within your chest but a cooling breeze swept away the fears that plagued your mind. For staring at him, you knew he spoke no falsehoods. That he owned your heart just as much as you owned his. That very heart you could feel hammering away in his own chest. His eyes fervently held yours, a silent conversation, a confession, spoken only in looks but you both understood the language. His gaze dipped down to your lips, tracing them before slowly rising once again to your eyes. A curl of pleasure blossomed in your core as you witnessed the fire now in his eyes. 

 "If this Dane wanted to kiss me…. I wouldn't mind."

 A deliciously, sinful smirk teased his mouth. "As my lady commands."

 His head tilted, leaning towards yours. Unconsciously your eyelids fluttered closed. Then the briefest of touches made your knees weak and your mouth part open in a sigh. After a moment's hesitation, he continued to shower your jawline with kisses. Needing to touch him, your hands landed on his chest, feeling the tunic that covered his firm chest. Your hands moved upward to grasp the back of his neck, his pulse jumping for a second as your nails scraped his skin. His hands landed on the curve of your waist, bringing you even closer to him, erasing the unwanted space between your bodies. 

 As his lips began their ascent upward along the otherwise of your jaw, you moved. For the burning sparks in your body screamed if he did not kiss you, you would spontaneously combust. Shifting your face, you stole a kiss on his lips before he could place it on your skin. It was more of a gentle pressing of your mouths, but even then, you heard a sharp inhale from him. Before you could question him, his mouth returned to yours with soft, probing kisses that urged you to respond. Not that you would ever deny him. What started off as a gentle flame quickly became a roaring fire. Breathing became unnecessary, for how could air bring you life when your body craved Sihtric, when your lungs demanded to breathe him in instead. He led you in a drugging kiss that had you melting against him. Your lips drank from one another as if that alone could sustain you forevermore.  

 "THANK YA, GOD!!" 

 The passionate kiss abruptly ended as Sihtric and your gazes darted towards the side of your house. Only to be met with the sight of his three companions standing at the entrance in various states of smugness. 

 "Oh, for the love of Odin…." Sihtric mumbled. 

 You buried your face in Sihtric's chest, face heated in embarrassment but unable to stop the giggles that poured forth. So caught up in finally confessing your feelings and kissing the man who haunted your dreams, you forgot that anyone could walk by and see you. His arms tightened around you, keeping you within his protective, loving embrace….and you knew there was nowhere else you would rather be. 

 "Took the two of ya long enough." Finan continued, leaning against the side of your humble home with a shit-eating grin. 

 "Amen." Osferth had a small, teasing smile on his face. "Thought I would have to lock them in a room together before one of them finally confessed."

 Apparently, you and Sihtric were not as subtle as you previously thought. Now it made sense why Osferth was questioning you about Cedric and your thoughts on love and marriage earlier. Your heart flooded with gratitude towards your childhood friend, for without him you doubted neither Sihtric or you would have spoken up. Peering over, you caught Osferth's eye and mouthed a quick 'thank you'. He nodded, a simple joy radiating from his face. 

 "Lord?" Sihtric called over with a blank expression. "Permission to continue?"

 Uhtred chuckled. "I guess you've waited long enough. Go ahead." 

 Without waiting a moment longer, Sihtric tipped your face back up towards his and claimed your lips once more. You vaguely thought you heard laughter coming from the others but it all blurred away, like a faint sound while underwater. All you could see, all you could feel, all you could hear was Sihtric. 

 Just how you wanted it. 

 Suddenly you yanked your head back, your breathing labored and lips swollen. "My mother is helping at a nearby farm today. She won't be back until it's dark."

 He hummed against your skin trailing small kisses along your jawline and down your neck as if unable to keep his hands and mouth off you now that the dam had been released. 

 "I'm not as pure as Osferth thinks me to be."

 That statement made his actions stop. Carefully he raised his head to meet your gaze. "After dark?" He confirmed, voice rough in a way that sent a bolt of heat through you. 

 "Yes, she planned on having supper with them….so my home is currently empty….and I did just clean my blankets the other day…."

 He swooped in to give you a feverish, greedy kiss that left no doubt where his mind had gone. When he finally pulled back, you were surprised your legs could still hold you upright. Your whole body felt like puddy in his arms and he had only kissed you, albeit you doubted you would ever forget the way his mouth worshiped yours. 

 "You are certain? You want this?" He softly asked, staring into your eyes once more. "You want me?" 

 It was the last question, the vulnerable undertone, the hint of insecurity in it that sealed your decision. Letting your actions be your answer, you grabbed his hand and started pulling him in the direction of the door to your home. It did not take more than a second for him to come beside you, wrapping his arm around your waist. 

 With his taste on your lips, the future did not matter right now. It did not matter that he was Dane and you were not. All you knew was Sihtric was neither a saint nor a sinner, but simply a man deserving of love. The river of your love was pointing you directly towards him, and you silently vowed to never let it run dry. 

[rogue-durin-16]

MISS SLYTHERIN

Summary: Fred meets the perfect girl at the beginning of his seventh year; although he is reluctant to ask her out, the universe keeps throwing her into every place Fred finds himself in, even in the most unexpected one; the Quidditch pitch.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Slytherin!Reader

Genre: mostly fluff

Tags:

Fred Weasley: @whiskeyn-rain @lumos-solemn

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog

Warnings: language and a little tiny bit of slut shaming (?) and making out

A/N: I was on the subway listening to Sweet Dreams and my brain went 'hOLd oN— bEAteR ReAdER 👁️👄👁️!' so here we are. Kinda long but worth it. Enjoy this <3

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

It was the first Saturday of the scholar year, and the first ten days tended to be the definition of chaos, so I had volunteered to help my House's prefects with the first years; I was in sixth year, so my first two weeks were mostly free anyway.

I was on my way to the dungeons to pick up the group of kids the prefects had assigned me when I bumped into my Ravenclaw friends, and I decided to chat a bit with them to catch up.

I had my back against one of the hallway's walls, therefore I saw the pair of towering, lean, redheaded figures jogging towards my friends to give them a jump scare.

"That's about it real— AAH!" My friend jolted at the infamous' twins, bumping them for scaring her. "Idiots!"

"Sorry, love." One of them passed his arms over two of my friends' shoulders, while his twin brother's eyes roamed over the circle, tilting his head in confusion when he reached me. "Hello?"

"Hey." I gave them a subtle wave and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Oh, right!" My friend turned to me and pointed at the boy whose arm rested on her. "This is George and that's—"

"Fred Weasley." He introduced himself, offering me his hand to shake with a half smile that promised everything but boredom.

Giving his hand a firm shake, I responded, "Y/n Y/l/n." Our eyes locked; we didn't even attempt to hide the fact that we were measuring one another, and I knew I would have to endure the teasing on my friends' behalf later, but there was something in Fred's gaze that made me extremely curious about his intentions.

I let go of his hand, only for him to take a couple of steps in my direction to stand closer. "And how is it that I've never seen you before, Y/n Y/l/n?" He inquired, leaning on his shoulder against the wall.

"I reckon you don't look much at the Slytherin table?"

His body tensed. "Oh?"

"Oh." I chuckled at his shock. "Scared much?"

The corner of his lips twitched up again. "Should I?"

"Guess that's on you to decide." We lingered on each other's gaze for a bit too long. "I think I'll get going." I was the one to avert my eyes in order to talk to my friends, who were already giving me that look. "See you lat— Oi!" Fred swooped the bag I was carrying off my shoulder and hung it on his.

"I'll carry this for you."

"I'm heading to my House."

"Where else would you be heading?" I turned to my friends in confusion, but they only shrugged; I didn't even have time to ask them what was he up to. "C'mon, Miss Slytherin!"

My eyes got big at the name and I spun around, rushing to catch up with him. "I can carry my own bag, you know that right?"

"But then I wouldn't have an excuse to walk with you." I quirked a brow at him when the ginger winked. "Tell me something."

"Like what?" I questioned, a confused yet amused grin dancing on my lips.

He shrugged, averting his gaze to nonchalantly look to the front "Dunno," He changed my bag to his other arm so it wouldn't be between us. "What do you think about Umbridge?"

"Well, she's got terrible taste in clothing." He laughed, and so did I. Just like that, we fell in a quite fluid and enjoyable conversation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

FRED'S P. O. V.

"—And not only that, she's so smart—" I groaned burying my face in my bed's pillow, very aware that I had been talking about Y/n to George and Lee for at least fifteen minutes. "Yesterday she held my hand and I think my face turned red."

Lee's snort was followed by George's words. "So are you gonna ask her out or...?"

I grimaced. The last couple of weeks, somehow I had managed to bump into Y/n everywhere. It was as if the universe was throwing me towards her, but there was a voice in the back of my head that stopped me from making a move. "What if she says no?"

"Freddie, she blantantly flirts with you every time you see her." George stated with his eyebrows raised. "Just ask her out, mate."

"Aight," I nodded. "I'll do it next time I see her."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

READER'S P. O. V.

When Adrian Pucey informed me that Crabbe wouldn't be able to play in the upcoming Quidditch match, I instantly regretted accepting my friends' dare of showing up at Quidditch tryouts.

Though I didn't put much effort on it, I got in the team as a reserve, and the moment had come for me to shine. How lovely.

I couldn't really back out of that one, so that's how I ended up in the Slytherin changing room before a match that would be played in the worst conditions. Since I was in deep already, I thought I might as well go for the win with everything I had.

"Oi, Malfoy!" I gestured the kid to come closer, which he did with reluctancy. "Don't give me that look— I don't like you either."

"What."

"You're not half as good as Potter—" Before he started the rant of insults, I spoke again. "Shut it. You're not half as good but you're faster." My words were clear and slow, making sure he would understand. "Keep your eyes on Potter— if he moves, you move."

He seemed to hesitate, weary of my advice, but then he gave me a subtle nod and walked away.

"C'mon, on your feet everyone!" Our captain called us and we obeyed; as we approached our entrance to the pitch, thunders could be heard louder and louder. "We're not only for the win, we're gonna crush them." He shouted, partially so we could hear him over the racket of the storm and the muffled hubbub of the crowd, but also because he wanted us to know how serious he was about it. "Glasses!" I took a deep breath, grasping the bat "Broomsticks!" The gate opened as I mounted my broomstick. "UP!"

"AND HERE COMES SLYTHERIN!!" We heard Lee Jordan's voice as we took off to go around the pitch in formation.

Even before we flew over the Ravenclaw stands, obnoxiously loud cheers of my friends could be heard, and I couldn't help but laugh.

FRED'S P. O. V.

"The hell are they cheering on?" I frowned at the Ravenclaw stands going nuts when our rivals passed over them. "It's bloody Slytherin!"

My brother, who was waiting besides me for the match to start, scanned the stands, and then the opposite team; in an instant, he stood upright and nudged me with his bat. "Oi, look!" George called my attention over the roaring crowd after the Slytherin team had passed over our heads. "The beater! Number 6!"

I looked for their number 6 in the pitch, only finding what George was talking about when they stopped at their starting points. Squinting my eyes, I managed to read through the rain the back of the robe. "Y/l/n— Y/n?!" George laughed loudly, following Angelina's cue and flying to his respective mark in the circle.

"Move!" Katie yelled, flying past me and snapping me out of my awe. Had she always been a beater?

When I reached them, I saw Y/n meticulously making sure she had everything secured.

Our eyes, despite the glasses and the pouring rain, managed to meet seconds before Madam Hooch's blowed her whistle, and I would have sworn she gave me a smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"FRED PAY ATTENTION!" Not even Angelina's yells were enough to bring my mind back to the match, something I regretted instantly; a bludger had been beaten in her direction and nearly knocked her out of the broom. "FUCK!" The quaffle fell from her arm, only to be picked up by one of the Slytherin chasers. "I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU!"

"Sorry!"

"Freddie what the hell!" George had flown to us, probably in hopes to stop the bludger from clocking Angelina. "Will you focus?!"

"Yeah— Sorry!" I apologised again— well, it was more like a grunt rather than an apology. "Go back to Harry!"

"Defend our bloody chasers!" He scolded me before heading off.

I forced myself to keep my eyes on the bludgers and not on Y/n.

The rain kept getting heavier; not even the Impervious charm seemed to work repelling the water from the glasses anymore.

I was cold, drenched, tired and befuddled; my legs were stiff and my arms numb, so I definitely did not see it coming; for that matter, I thought it was a strong blow of wind at first, so the shock that struck me when I was knocked off my broom was a big one.

I heard loud gasps and a scream or two coming from the stands, followed by Lee commenting something about the beater being beaten; in another situation —one where it wouldn't be fucking pouring and I could climb back up to my broom—, I would probably have laughed at it.

But right now, with the hand I held my bat in slipping off the broomstick, the last thing I wanted to do was laugh.

READER'S P. O. V.

Once I had dodged the bludger away from Pucey, my eyes roamed around looking for the other one. which had just been beaten away by Goyle and, intentionally or not, the bludger went straight to Fred.

My heart skipped a beat as I saw his broom flip due to the hit, leaving him clinging onto it.

My eyes went straight to his brother, who was way to far to help, and then to their captain, who was adamant to score points.

"Fuck." I groaned through gritted teeth as I turned my broomstick and flew towards the Gryffindor beater in distress.

"Y/L/N STRAYS FROM HER POSITION AND— FLIES TO WEASLEY?" Jordan's commentaries reached my ears right when I got to Fred. I stretched my arm and grabbed his hand just in time for him not to slip off the broom. He gripped onto my hold for dear life as I used my broom as a leverage to pull him back up, a groan escaping my lips. "LOOKS LIKE NOT ALL SLYTHERINS ARE ARSES!"

I waited until he was steadily secured to let go of his hand. "Next time let go of the bat!" I advised with a teasing grin before flying off to my previous position.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT, Y/L/N" I knew I was going to get shit for what I had just done, but I was expecting my captain to wait until the match had ended.

"HE WAS GONNA FALL OFF!" I yelled, louder than necessary.

"WELL LET HIM FALL THE FUCK OFF!" The captain retorted, venom dripping off his tongue. "WITH ANY LUCK HE'LL KILL HIMSELF OFF!" I didn't expect those words to come out, not even from that mouth.

"YOU KNOW WHAT?" I beat an incoming bludger away from us before shouting, "SUCK MY METAPHORICAL DICK, YEAH?!" And with that, I flew off to defend Malfoy, who was rushing to Potter. Surprisingly enough, he had followed my advice. I flew on Malfoy's track, dodging a bludger away twice until he gave a final sprint and caught the snitch.

"SLYTHERIN WINS!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The team started to celebrate as soon as we landed, and I thought I would take advantage of that and change into dry clothes, but I didn't have the chance before someone called my name from the entrance.

"Psst— Y/n." I turned around to see Fred standing there.

"Do you have a death wish?" I spoke quietly, though a smile appeared on my gaze as soon as I saw him. "What on earth are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to thank you for helping me out there." His cold fingertips brushed my wet cheek as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear and he leaned on to place a kiss there. "Aw you're blushing!"

"I'm not blushing, I'm cold," I excused myself, averting my eyes from him.

Maybe it was his loud snort, or maybe the fact that I was missing, but the changing room fell silent as my team's attention was directed to us.

"Oi!" My captain looked Fred up and down, stepping to where we stood. "You're not welcome here."

"Chill," Fred shrugged, his hand lingering on my forearm. "I was congratulating her on her victory." His tone foreshadowed chaos. "Since, you know, it's obviously her doing." I glared at the ginger my hand going to his forearm, silently warning him to stop. "Can't command your own team, can you?"

his arm folded so his palm would be on my forearm too, giving me a reassuring squeeze.

"She should've let you fall off that hand-me-down broom of yours." Fred's grip on my forearm tightened; by the look on his face and the way his jaw clenched, I could tell my teammate had successfully hit a nerve.

"Shut the hell up, will you?" I snapped. "Can't you enjoy the victory without being an arse?"

"You fucking slut—"

"Imaginative." I cut him off, unbothered. "Want a cookie for the effort?"

"Listen now—" Just as he went to grab my bicep, a large hand pushed my captain away, making him stumble back.

"C'mon, mate, give me a reason to beat the shit out of you." Fred said, pulling me to stand besides him instead of between them. Fred's switch was about to flip, and I was desperate for a professor to step in.

As if I had summoned them, i caught a glimpse of Snape and McGonagall walking in my direction from the stairs of the teachers's tower.

"I'd love to see you try." The boy in front of us scoffed. "There's already too much ginger scum besmearing the pure blood, I'll be glad to send you straight to the hosp—"

It was far from expected it would be me punching that asshole strong enough to make him trip and fall.

"Miss Y/l/n!" Oh, right. McGonagall. "Ten points from Slytherin!"

"And fifty points for Slytherin." Snape added in his usual unimpressed tone. "Due to the comradeship you've shown during the match." I widened my eyes at the statement. "Though I can't ignore this, so Y/l/n, turn up in my class tomorrow morning for your punishment. Now, shall we, Minerva?"

"We're leaving too." I informed Fred in low voice, grabbing my bag before pulling him out of the Slytherin changing room.

"That was one hell of a punch." He observed with a chuckle once we were out. "Remind me not to mess with you."

I breathed out a laugh and we fell silent as we walked under the stands towards the exit, the only noise being the rain ricocheting on its structure.

"Thank you." He whispered, his fingers brushing against mines and consequently sending shivers down my spine. "For sticking up for me."

"I expect a reward at the least." I replied, playfully bumping his shoulder before letting my fingers intertwine with his.

"What would that be?" He inquired, that half smile tugging on the corner of his lips.

I shrugged, looking ahead of us with a grin of my own. "That's up to you."

"Will a kiss do?" He mused.

"Depends on how good the kiss is." I begged for my cheeks not yo turn bright red.

In a swift movement he spun me around and his lips landed on mines. His free hand, initially on my cheek, travelled down to my hips, pulling my flush against him while my own hands tangled on his damp hair.

Probably it wasn't a short kiss, but it felt like it when his mouth left mine, and I couldn't help the sight of displeasure that escaped my vocal cords.

He chuckled, our eyes fluttering open at the same time. "Was it good enough?" He teased with a quirked brow.

"Dunno." I muttered, my eyes falling on his lips again. "I think you'll need to try again—"

"To be sure." He finished, and I could only nod; I wouldn't mind the teasing as long as his lips came back to mines.

This time the kiss was deeper, my hands roaming over his wet robes and his over mines; it was only when my back was met with a post that I realized he was backing me into the darker part of the framework, which I did not oppose to.

Quiet moans began to be breathed into the kiss when he nibbled on my lower lip or my hands tugged on his locks.

We had to pull away when steps and voices where heard coming from both changing rooms.

"I think we should kiss more often." He suggested breathless against my lips.

"Agreed."

"I think you should go out with me too."

I had to bite back a laugh. "Agreed again."

"Well, that was easy." The surprised on his gaze was way too amusing.

"Did you think I'd say no?"

"Duh!"

"You're an idiot, Fred Weasley."

"Aw but you love it." He wiggled his brows at me and I smacked his chest.

[ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff]

Kisses and Near Misses (Riff x Reader) Part 6

Summary: Y/N starts to realise that most days will be interjected by some kind of Jetivity. 

AN: Part 5 didn’t appear in the tags rip, fingers crossed this one does!

Chapter content warnings: references to canon-typical attitudes of race and towards gay folks

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The Whiplash

The live band on stage was rocking the night away as per usual. Amidst their musical notes buzzed the dancers with their vibrant steps and the outfits they’d been dying to wear out.

At many dances, Y/N had witnessed Riff dancing before, but it was with a new sense of awe that he saw him tonight. Slim through his limited diet, yet tense with every muscle poised exactly how he wanted it, Riff’s body moved so gorgeously. It was no wonder half the girls he knew were throwing themselves at him.

His body extended as he welcomed Graziella into his arms, her green skirts swishing around the two sets of legs. Y/N could not find it in him to be jealous. He had Riff at the end of the day, even if no one else knew. Besides, he had already been dancing with Roisin. At the start of the night, she dragged him across the dancefloor to a newly cleared space, ripe for a release of energy. There was one break for them, when one of the Jets - Y/N couldn’t remember his name - shoved a Shark for no apparent reason. Soon all the men swarmed to the centre, not calm like a storm’s eye, and Y/N was caught amongst it. He instinctively pushed a man’s hands off him and quickly left the scene as the function’s organiser blew a whistle to separate the blokes.

Four songs later, Roisin allowed Y/N to excuse himself with a sweaty chest and warm face. He made his way to the restroom without making it obvious that he’d been eagerly checking out Riff’s arse.

A pair of Sharks were in there already, but Y/N doggedly ignored them. Some water was splashed on his face and, when Y/N heard the two men step out, some more was used to ensure his hair stayed in position for at least another quarter of an hour. The next scoop of water splashed across the mirror because Riff appeared in it. At least Y/N didn’t soak the real one.

“You alright?”

“Just trying to cool down,” Y/N assured, “You?”

“Worried about you.”

“I’m fine, Riff.”

Riff’s reflection drew closer and Y/N turned to face the real one as he said, “You’re losing your job, and you just shoved a Shark halfway across the dancefloor.”1

“That’s life. I wasn’t gonna work at a pub for the rest of it. And I didn’t push him that hard; he got me first.” It was clear that Riff didn’t believe him so Y/N sighed, “Let me just enjoy tonight. I’ll tackle the job thing tomorrow.”

Riff went to leave the men’s restroom first, Y/N not far behind and to his right. As he pulled the door towards him, Riff leant back with one leg in the air for balance and kissed Y/N on the corner of his mouth. He then smoothly walked out and right back out to Graziella who definitely had a clue of what had happened, leaving Y/N dizzy like he’d been pirouetted across the room.

The clear split between whites and Puerto Ricans was made clear once again, and Y/N could see the Shark’s leader Bernardo dancing in the centre of his people with his girlfriend. They looked happy with the more relaxed tune crooning around them. 

Roisin was on the bleachers and dreamily watching Grazie in her bold green dress to her left, as she danced with Riff. 

“A dance, my lady?” offered Y/N.

A hand to her chest, Roisin declared with faux surprise, “I thought you’d disappeared again!”

Riff was near the edge of the crowd. Graziella was tucked into his chest, her eyes closed to the world, and Y/N’s previous statement of jealousy snapped itself in half. To be held and be so content with his partner in a full function, it was a dream he wished he could stop holding in his heart. But seeing it all around only made its sore stamp on his soul all the bolder. Resigned, he tilted his head against Roisin’s head, still mindful enough not to ruin her updo.

As if he could feel it, Riff looked up and met Y/N’s gaze. His face was neutral because to display anything forlorn was blood in infested waters. But Y/N could feel their connection reaching out beyond this dance. Perhaps when they got home, they could sway alone. When they could no longer strain to face one another, the men allowed their girls the rest of the song to gaze wistfully across the room.

When the song concluded, another introduced itself and it was a lot livelier. Y/N excused himself to get a drink when a hand stopped him to pass by.

“Slip away when you can.”

This was spoken very quickly, and the speaker was not in sight when Y/N turned to meet him. He knew who it was. But being close and seeing proof would have been nice.

Five minutes later, his hand fell from Roisin’s with a rushed excuse and he found the exit. He was unceremoniously grabbed by the wrist upon stepping outside and dragged through a chilly breeze around the corner. He would have kicked whoever this was in the groin had it not been for the single light hanging over the emergency exit. It revealed a very pink and very cheesy-looking Riff. No time to reprimand him, Y/N was pressed between the building and Riff’s lips against his throat.

“You been here much before?” Y/N asked, his voice jumping at a sudden nibble on his neck.

“Yeah,” Riff mumbled into his skin, “Why?”

“I was wondering how you knew we wouldn’t get caught here. You know, this really isn’t helping me cool down.” An infectious giggle took over the two men and soon they weren’t even able to kiss without snorting. They began dancing around the minute space in the alley, taking turns to twirl. Their hands hardly parted, unlike their lips that made way for tongues and tittering.

“You two are not as sly as you think you are!”

The boys dreamily broke apart to see Roisin and Grazie with similarly dishevelled appearances at the breach of the alleyway. All that effort not to ruin her hair, and Grazie had made it redundant in just a few seconds of affection. 

Riff sportively called at them, “Hey! Go find your own spot.” And he rolled his lips back together with Y/N’s.

“Dirty boys!” replied Roisin but Grazie whistled through cupped hands at them. Somewhere along this interaction, Y/N was pretty sure he stuck a high-spirited middle finger up at them, but he couldn’t be too sure. Riff was too busy being a puckish distraction. 

“Let’s go home,” He whispered into Y/N’s grinning mouth.

“Alright, handsome.” One more attempted kiss was exchanged before they ran off down the rest of the alley into the night, hand in hand.

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

1 In amongst all this nicety, we have another unreliable narrator moment. Y/N initially describes it as just removing a man’s hands from him, then Riff describes it as a full-on shove - indicating that Y/N is starting to be indoctrinated in the Jet activity. How quickly they both move on from this to being romantic again shows how normal this is becoming for them.

---> ---> ---> ---> --->

Riff tag: @that1fanficwriter

[ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes]

I posted 272 times in 2022

That's 272 more posts than 2021!

169 posts created (62%)

103 posts reblogged (38%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes

@ell0ra-br3kk3r

@broccoliitree

@jahayla-parker

@promptscollect

I tagged 230 of my posts in 2022

Only 15% of my posts had no tags

#ellora.writes - 99 posts

#harry potter x reader - 47 posts

#harry potter - 43 posts

#kaz brekker x reader - 39 posts

#comments<3 - 37 posts

#harry potter imagines - 36 posts

#sirius black x reader - 32 posts

#el.talks - 32 posts

#six of crows - 27 posts

#six of crows x reader - 27 posts

Longest Tag: 39 characters

#you're so sweet!! thank you so so much!

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Sunshine To His Storm

pairing: kaz brekker x wife!reader

this is for my fall event requested by: anon

Y/n and Kaz Brekker. The definition of opposites attract. Kaz was a dark and brooding being while Y/N was sunshine in human form. When they first met Kaz would constantly get overwhelmed by her cheerful tone and her inabitily to see just how dark Ketterdam is. But after a while he grew fond of her rambling about her day or the slight skip in her step. And then it got to a point where he couldn’t go a day without seeing her bright smile. As his tolerance for her grew, his barriers, mental and emotional walls came down. He became a softy for his wife… Not that he would let anyone find out.

~

Y/N sumbled slightly into the Slat, arms full of this week's groceries. The rest of the crows were sitting down around the main room talking, “Hi, Y/N/N! You need any help?” Nina moved to help her, but Y/N declined her offer. She continued her walk almost blindly to the kitchen when Kaz stood up and followed her swiftly, “I’ll help you.” 

“Kaz, I said I got it- no, Kaz- okay, or not. Yeah that’s fine.” She chuckled and followed him into the kitchen. “Let me take at least one.” “Y/N, no. I got it.” They’re voices faded as they got to the kitchen. 

Jesper watched the whole scene wided eyed before turning to the rest of the group, “Did-did he just offer her help?” Nina slowly nodded her head, “Yes…? I didn’t even think that was possible… Even if she is his wife.” Matthias rolled his eyes, “Even if he is Kaz Brekker, I’m sure he has a heart…” Jesper and Nina gave him a look, “Okay, at least for his wife.” 

Inej couldn’t wipe the fond smile off her face, “He really loves her. He would go to the end of the earth for her. I saw them cuddling on their couch one time.” Jesper’s head snapped towards her, “What? When did you see that?” She hummed in thought, “I think it was last week, Kaz asked me to bring him some details on something and when I came to their window Y/N was fast asleep while they both were on the couch.  It was actually really sweet. I’m so glad Y/N decided to put up with his stubborn arse.” 

“Who's a stubborn arse?” Y/N chuckled as they walked back to the couch Kaz was sitting on before. Kaz sat down and lifted his leg to rest on the coffee table infront of them as Y/N sat down next to him and slightly leaned into his side. “No one. Anyway, how was your day Y/N/N?” Nina was quick to ask her with a smile. “Oh, it was good! I went to the market to get groceries. Then on the way back I saw this man with a small crate of bunnies! Oh my saints! They were the cutest little things I’ve ever seen! Which leads me to my question,” She turned to look at Kaz, “Can we go back and get one? I asked him how long he’ll be there and he said for another two hours or so. He’s still there so please, Kaz! Can we get a bunny?” He sighed, “Who's going to take care of it?” Y/N smiled, “Well, I would! Please, Kaz?” He ran a hand down his face and tried to stifle his smile, “Okay, you can get the bunny.” Y/N jumped up, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She ran to the hall closet to grab their coat, but before she rounded the corner she heard Jesper teasing Kaz, “You actually caved in.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Yes you do! Just two weeks ago you said no pets. And now you are getting Y/N/N a bunny. You caved.” Nina, Wylan and Inej all laughed at Kaz’s expense. “I did no such thing.” 

Y/N smiled to herself. She knew he became a softy for her, it wasn’t hard to figure out. But it was funny hearing Jesper pick and poke at her husband. “Okay, Kaz. Let’s go!” She pulled him up and started walking towards the door. 

Kaz muttered something that made Y/N throw her head back laughing before they were completely out of view from the rest of the group. Nina smiled, “They really are good together, aren’t they?” “Yeah they are. It’s funny though because they are so opposite.” Wylan chuckled. Inej nodded, “She is the sunshine to his storm.”

330 notes - Posted September 7, 2022

#4

I think I might've fallen in love

pairing: sirius black x reader

genre: fluff

el's thoughts: requested by @masivechaos for my 350 follower celebration. based off the song halley's comet by billie eillish

sirius black masterlist

I don't want it

And I don't want to want you

But in my dreams I seem to be more honest

And I must admit, you've been in quite a few

Sirius threw his head back into his pillow and let out a long groan. “I think she cursed me or something.” James laughed, “Y/N L/N cursed you? Yeah right, she couldn’t curse a fly even if she tried.” He shrugged when the older of the two glared at him. 

“Well then how is it that she’s practically living in my mind? It doesn’t make sense!” 

James rolled his eyes, “I have a small hunch… Hear me out. You like her.” Sirius rolled his eyes and threw a pillow at his face.

~

Sirius couldn’t get her out of his mind no matter what he tried. His sleep schedule was thrown off completely. Three in the morning became midnights, somehow the nights he didn’t get sleep felt better. He knew why, but he still didn’t want to admit it. He couldn’t admit it. How was he supposed to admit that he enjoyed spending his free time with her? How was he supposed to tell his friends that he fell for the girl he swore he’d never fall for. How was he supposed to tell his friends that he’s gone soft for a girl who’s smile could light up the world? 

“Stop staring, mate. You look like a creep.” 

Sirius snapped out of his daze and turned to look at James, “Shut up.” He looked back to where Y/N sat with her friends laughing. She turned around and saw him looking at her and gave him a sweet smile, before she went back to talking with her friends. 

“I think I might’ve fallen in love.” Sirius sighed to himself. 

James pumped his fist in the air, “Called it!”

~*~

sirius black taglist:

marauder taglist: @bookaholics-stuff @whorehalloween @broccoliitree @lily-the-ravenclaw @masivechaos

340 notes - Posted October 20, 2022

#3

Nothing Can Ruin My Mood

pairing: remus lupin x reader

genre: fluff

el's thoughts: requested by @robynlilyblack for my 350 follower celebration :)

Y/N heard the front door close and the voices of her boyfriend and his best friends. She sighed to herself with a fond smile before they all made their way into the living room where she sat cuddled in the corner of the couch. They all paused and looked at her in amusement. Remus was the first to speak up, “What are you doing, darling?” 

“You look like a hermit?” Sirius smacked James’ arm, “She is a hermit, you idiot.” Y/N rolled her eyes and gave them a wide, slightly sarcastic smile, “I have hot chocolate, a new book and one snazzy ass jumper. Nothing you say can ruin my mood right now.” Remus laughed and made his way to her, “That looks like my snazzy ass jumper…”

Y/N lifted the jumper up to hide her face before she mumbled, “There’s a slight possibility that it is yours.” He laughed and pulled her into his side and kissed her forehead. 

Sirius and James shared a smile as they watched the couple. Sirius cleared his throat, “Hey you two, stop making us feel single!” James shoved his friend, “Speak for yourself Pads.”

356 notes - Posted October 11, 2022

#2

Stray

pairing: sirius black x reader

genre: fluff

part two

A light scratching was heard at the front door and Y/N stood up in confusion. No one knows where she is… She pulled out her wand and opened the front door. Sighing in relief as she saw no one there she looked down and saw a large black dog. “Oh you poor thing…” 

She let the dog inside her house and felt her heart clench. The dog reminded her of her husband. Sirius Black, mass murdurer, traitor. She believed none of those titles, she never did. To her he was just her husband, her best friend. After that halloween night she hid herself from the public eye, she wanted nothing to do with the people who sent her husband to prison. 

She bent down and ran her fingers through its thick black fur. “Your fur is so knotted…” She tilted her head to the side slightly, “Yeah, okay let’s give you a bath.” When she finished washing and drying the dog she tried to brush out his fur but ended up quitting. “You poor thing… I can’t even brush it.” She muttered to herself and walked to the sink and opened one of the drawers on the right side. “This is my husband’s… But I’m sure he won’t mind.” 

She turned back around and saw the dog’s head tilted to the side before his eyes widened at the sight of the razor in her hands. The dog jumped to his paws and tried to run to the door. “Oh no you don’t!” She caught him just before he made it out of the bathroom. “You act just like Sirius did anytime I tried to cut his hair.” 

She made eye contact with the dog and froze. The dog smirked. Y/N dropped the razor and shook her head, the headlines on the paper Remus sent to her flashed in her mind. Escape from Askaban. Sirius Black sighted. 

“Sirius?

806 notes - Posted September 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

You're Not My Husband

pairing: sirius black x potter!wife!reader (if that makes sense.... james' sister but also sirius' wife)

requested by: anon

“I want my husband!” Y/N waved her arms around with barely any control. “Darling…” Sirius tried to push her back down to lay on the bed. “No! Don’t touch me! When my hu-husband comes back from… Wherever he went he’s going to kick your… Your…” A chuckle fell from Sirius’ lips, “My arse?”

“Yes!”

A loud laugh came from the doorway, “She’s going to die when she sees this video.” Both Y/N and Sirius turned and saw James, Lily and Remus in the doorway, Lily holding a muggle recording camera. James smiled at his sister, “Hey Y/N/N… How you holding up?” Y/N sighed dramatically, “Jamie, please tell this man to leave me alone! Tell him my husband is coming.” James held in his laugh as best as he could as he spoke, “Yeah mate, back off. Her husband is coming soon.”

Sirius threw his hands up in frustration as he walked past a snickering Lily and Remus. After a few moments he walked back in and smiled at his wife who laid in their bed with her eyes closed. Lily walked to Sirius’ side, “What kind of meds did they put her on?” He shrugged, “I have no idea… All I know is that they were really strong.”

Y/N opened her eyes at the sound of Sirius’ voice, “My husband!” Laughter filled the room and only left Y/N in confusion, “What?”

1,041 notes - Posted August 11, 2022

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