#i went to check netflix and hulu cause maybe i got cut off but no i have those

[piknim]

im about to text my dad at 1 am cause WHERES MY GOOGLE PLAY/YOUTUBE RED! no please i cant have advertising

[futurezombi5]

Venting

After taking a long break from Tumblr I realized I missed screaming into the void that is the internet and just getting my thoughts out of my head. So, here it goes. TW: suicide, mentions of abuse

I’ve felt down... not just like the down that you occasionally get due to seasons or the weather or maybe your favorite tv show was canceled. Down as in there hasn’t been a day this year where i don’t contemplate variations of suicide. The one time it got so bad I just went to sleep because I wanted to lock my boyfriend in the bedroom and kill myself in the kitchen. When my grandma passed away, that was a heavy blow to the chest. I had been watching her slowly deteriorate since the end of last year when I tried giving her my Netflix and Hulu accounts and what I was telling her to do just wasn’t clicking like she had trouble keeping memory, I thought it was weird but shrugged it off. When she passed out and deficated herself, that’s when I started getting worried, but after a hospital visit she seemed to be doing alright. Then February rolled around and she was just going for a liver check up (she had stage 4 liver disease due to lupus and had Hep C and cirrhosis due to the lupus as well) and they admitted her. She had an infection from January that was pumping through her body and causing her left arm to get blood clots, but i was still hopeful. I saw her every. Single. Week. One minute they were moving her from ICU to the cardiac center because the infection wasn’t as bad as they thought it was and we got more hopeful. On that day, March 7th I remember she got her lunch which was a turkey sandwich and a bowl of grapes. I put the mayo and mustard on the sandwich and cut it in half for her and fed it to her. She REALLY liked the grapes so I got her to eat the whole bowl. Honestly I was just happy she was eating. After her lunch she started to doze off and I told her to go ahead and go to sleep, but she looked at me and said “I don’t want to go to sleep.” I questioned her and she responded with something that’s burned into my mind: “I don’t want to go to sleep because I know if I do, you’ll leave and I don’t want you to leave.” I reassured her I’d be back and I even stayed until she was in deep sleep. Fast forward to March 17th and I was the only person allowed in the room to see her. I gave her some cool Saint Patrick’s day stuff but she was talking crazy and essentially saying they’re keeping her hostage and to break her out. The nurse said it’s from the infection and she’s dilusional, however, I still stayed with her and talked with her. That was the last time she was remotely coherent. We get a call the next day telling us she went into cardiac arrest and they put a breathing tube down her throat. The doctor explained that she essentially won’t heal from that and we decided to remove the tube. She passed away on the 22nd of March. Then my birthday was on the 24th, but I didn’t get out of bed. My boyfriend tried feeding me, getting me to get up, even tried an at home date (because corona), but I just didn’t want to do it. We ended up moving into her house and I already felt at home there but I’m still waiting to wake up and smell her cooking breakfast and I’m still waiting for her to come in my room and wake me up for something random she’s planned for the day, but that’s not happening. Hell, I still have her house phone hooked up and it stings a little every time when I hear her voicemail “hello this is Mary, please leave me a message and I will return your call. Thank you and have a blessed day.” Then may 8th, my great grandma passed away after having a long battle with Alzheimer’s. My last memory with her, she could barely speak and didn’t recognize me at all. I wanted my boyfriend to at least meet her, but we couldn’t see her and when we could it was too late. Now here we are in June and the depression hasn’t gotten better, I feel like with every waking day I feel more lonely and more unfit for this world. I miss them every day that goes by and I miss them in every little thing I do from baking cookies like I used to with my grandma to making sun tea with my great grandma. I just don’t see where I fit in this world... And with all of my flaws, the world would be better off without me.

[benbarnesescape]

Focus

Billy Russo Prompt Challenge – for @ boypansies

Prompt #54 - “I don’t want to get up….I’m so warm beside you.”

Prompt #62 - “Fuck it – do you wanna get married.”

Warnings: Mentions of sex, language and so much fluff your heart will melt. I hope lol..

A/N – Okay, I know the angst has been real. So real. So this is a fun, fluffy, cute story to make up for it. No left turn sad ending – promise!  Also this is a Billy AU where he doesn’t want to kill his best friend. I know I’m detracting but it’s the only way I can validate happy endings for him because I know his true nature as Jigsaw!

If you were in a horror movie, you would probably be one of the first girls – people – to die. Not because you were the slut, or the one person of color (why were serial killers, ghosts and zombies so racist?) or the nerdy, quirky friend where death was inevitable even if you were a good friend (R.I.P. Barb). It was because you had the worse sense of awareness.

Billy teased you about it all the time. A former marine, Billy had the cat like senses of a panther. Knew when someone was going to walk through a door before they knew they were going to walk through a door.

“You just have to pay better attention.” He had teased you a few months back, when you had jumped halfway out of your skin when one of his employees had walked in on the two of you making out in his large office. He had found it amusing and you had found it humiliating and terrifying. The employee had left, his face flushed red. And why wouldn’t he. You were basically half naked as Billy kneaded your breast through your bra.

You swore you would never be able to return as the man left, all but slamming the door behind him.

“You knew they were coming down the hall!?” You had squeaked out as he nipped at your neck, chuckling in the tight crevice,

“Figured I’d show you off since no one believed that I was committed to you.”

“I hate you.” You had mumbled, but it didn’t stop you from going back to your make out session. Or for stopping by Anvil since then. You were really bad at keeping your promises when it came to Billy Russo.

You had tried working on it. You really had. But you had all the focus of a five-year-old in preschool. Once your attention was on something, you couldn’t be bothered with everything else around you. Instead you dedicated every sense in your body to that one thing.

This evening, it had been in the form of a book. Literature and movies typically were your primary distractions, followed by food, music and coffee. Sex of course trumped all of those things. In fact, if you could make out a list of distractions it would read as the following:

1.       Sex

2.       Literature

3.       Sex

4.       Movies

5.       Sex

6.       Food

7.       Sex

8.       Music

9.       Sex

10.   Coffee

11.   Sex

12.   Sex

13.   Family/Friends

14.   Sex

15.   Sex

16.   Sex……..

You basically had the mind and sex drive of a 13 year old boy.

Another quality Billy found amusing and adorable. Mainly because with his handsome features and charming personality, he could get you to focus on him no matter the situation. He was needy. He would never admit that he was – would never own it. But he was insecure in his need for others to accept and love him. You made it easy for him to get both of those feelings validated. Even if you didn’t want to really commit to a relationship, or further it. Even if you had been dating him technically for two years. Even if he had convinced you to move in with him two months back. Even if he had made it very clear that he wanted to commit to you.

You wouldn’t have it. Billy Russo was too goddamn beautiful. And intelligent. And smart. And passionate. And driven. Minus all the emotional scars, he was basically a perfect man. You hadn’t really been insecure about who you were and how you fit in the world until you had started dating him. That unnerved you. Kinda pissed you off because you weren’t that insecure. Sure, there were things you’d wanted fix but overall you considered yourself an 8/10. But next to Billy…. next to Billy you felt like a D rated movie that went straight to DVD. Not even good enough for the dollar theaters. So until you could move past these feelings, you tried your best to distance yourself. Which Billy made particularly difficult because he had made it more than clear that he was committed to you and only.

But you were getting beside the point.

It was a typical work day evening. You had gone to gym, made dinner and forced yourself to read a book instead of binge watch something online. You were in your bedroom, sitting on your shared bed as your body pressed against your headboard, legs propped up so you could lay your book on your thighs, reading your book. A hot cup of tea with maybe three splashes of whiskey nestled warming in your hands as your eyes hurriedly ran over the pages. It was your favorite kind of book. Fantasy, check. Murder and mystery, check. Sex in all the way kitschy books can write sex, double check. It was getting steamy and terrifying all at once and you were so deep in, you didn’t hear him come in. Couldn’t hear the way he lazily dragged his feet, dropping off his duffel bag before pouring himself a cup of water. Had probably already planned his surprise attack knowing you were distracted in something.

Nope – you were too focused on Artegenian and Larea finally discovering their 300 page worth of tense romantic feelings for each other, his strong member pressing against her softness, drawing a soft sigh out of her lips as his mouth grazed slowly down her collarbone……..

“What you reading!?” Billy’s masculine voice cuts through the soft sounds of your Spotify playlist and you jump so high your drink splashes on your knees, causing you to curse under your breath.

And this is why you would die. Because you should face your intruder but instead your too focused on the hot water and whiskey burning your thigh, starting to cool as you place the mug on your bedside table. You check the bag to make sure no water got on your comforter before you realized you lost your page on your book, and this leads you down another rabbit hole of thought.

You’ve managed to effectively forget the person who got you in this situation in the first place and he chuckles, redirecting your attention again before saying,

“Babe, you gotta focus on more than one thing. We talked about you paying attention to your surroundings. Guess its something I’ll have to help you work on…”

You turn, taking in the way he looks in his black outfit, his black tshrit threatening to rip around his strong biceps and nothing matters. Your run toward him, jumping up easily in his embrace and he laughs as he holds you before its smothered by your lips.

God you missed him.

He doesn’t pull away but instead deepens the kiss, guiding you back to your bed where you both fall down, his large weight bearing into your own but you don’t care. He’s been gone a month for work, back to the sandbox as he liked to refer to it, and you had been a mess. A mess because you missed his smile, the way he constantly called and texted you to make sure you were ok. Missed the way you could snuggle against him while you binged a show on Netflix or Hulu, or the way girls would give him a second look as you both walked down the street. Missed the way his lips felt on your body and having his name whispered on your lips.

You loved him so much you weren’t even sure why you were fighting him on this relationship thing. When he pulls away far enough to look at you, those dark ebony eyes drinking you in, you’re reminded. Again. Billy Russo was way too damn good looking for you. He’d disagree but you knew your strengths. You were cute, pretty. You could get a guy to buy you a drink or two if you flirted enough. Been told by many how attractive you are. But you weren’t on Billy Russo attractive level. That was that super model, Hollywood actor, I’ll let you in because you’re so damn fine level. Billy always denied it but he didn’t see how women literally fanned themselves when he walked by.

You did. You really needed to carve out time with a therapist to move past these feelings. It was unhealthy for you and for him.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks, placing soft kisses on your eyes. Your nose. Your cheeks. Your lips. You giggle out,

“Nothing.” Trying to drive him back in but he knows your lying as he starts to poke your side. More laughter ensues as his hands began their assault of tickling, shaking his head as he says,

“You’re the worse liar, you know that?”

You try to push him away, anything to save you but he’s stronger than you. More skilled, he pins you down easily with one hand as he assaults you with his free one and it’s only a few minutes more before you’re screaming for freedom. He complies, satisfied as he allows his weight to fall on you and you start raking your hands through his thick hair, caressing down his hard back.

“Was thinking how the hell I did something worth deserving you.”

He pulls back a bit, watches you carefully before saying,

“You mean, what did I do to find someone like you.”

He was good at this, twisting words in his favor but you weren’t having it. You roll your eyes before mumbling,

“Okay Billy…” and he presses his lips onto yours instantly, teasing your mouth open.

If kissing was a game at the Olympic games, Billy would always win gold. He knew how to go from being demanding and passionate to soft and romantic, exactly what he was doing now as his tongue expertly tangled with your own, giving every bit of your mouth the attention it needed from him. When he pulls away lazily, biting your bottom lip, he whispers,

“I know you don’t think you measure up to me or whatever but you’re my world. I honestly wouldn’t be as close of a good man if I didn’t have you in it. I love you.”

You can’t help the smile that automatically twitches on your face as he rests his head on your shoulder, placing a soft kiss on your exposed skin and you murmur back “I love you too” because despite all the other stuff that you got hung up on, you felt how much love you both had for each other. Filled up a room whenever you were together.  And perhaps that was what scared you the most. You had never felt this way before.

You don’t live in it for too long though. When you feel his breathing start to steady that you know you must push him off, his dead weight starting to cause your leg to go numb. You nudge him, asking him gently to get off of you but he won’t have it. He’s too comfortable on top of you, holding you closer to him and protests loudly against moving.

“Billy….” You whine and he moans, hiding his face deeper in your neck.

“I don’t want to get up….I’m so warm beside you.”

You roll your eyes, trying to wiggle from his embrace but the new movement has re-sparked his energy and his arms pin beside you, keeping you in place and you whine against his ear,

“You’re too heavy! I can’t breathe! And you’re hot!”

You’re being dramatic – sure. But he was a walking furnace and you were already warm wearing his Henley and despite your exposed legs you felt like you were on fire.

Billy was too amused however, missing the way you sounded, missing how your body felt against his and he laughs, kissing at your neck until you give in, wrapping your arms around his neck as he moves his face to kiss you again. Desperate. Hungry. His hips shimmy against you, his erection pressing into your center and you moan, your leg wrapping around his stiff pants easily.

He never played by the rules.

When he’s got you to the point where you’re equally desperate, your body shimmying against his own, your hands clawing to pull off his shirt he stops you. Looks down at you with serious eyes and gives a shaky sigh. You stop, taking in the way his heart has increased and you cup his face, knowing something has shifted.

Perhaps he was trying to figure out how to break up with you. It all hits you too quickly – becomes too real. Of course that was what was happening. You had efficiently freaked him out enough and now he didn’t want anything to do with you. Or maybe he was trying to express himself. That was also the more realistic possibility.

As much as you hated voicing out your insecurities, you knew it was important in a relationship. And you could honestly have a conversation with yourself when it was getting out of hand. Billy, on the other hand, was horrible at expressing himself if the language wasn’t sarcasm or affection. And even affection had been a tough one to tackle down.

You place a hand on his chest, over his heart as you whisper,

“Billy, calm down. Its ok. Take your time. You know I won’t judge you no matter what you say.”

He looks down at you, bites his lip before shaking his head.

“Fuck it – do you wanna get married?”

You blink up at him, your brain trying to process his words. Your silence freaks Billy out though as he leans off you, standing and digging through his pockets.

“I fucked it up,” he mumbles once he finds what he’s looking for, pulling out the velvet black box. He gets down on one knee, his hands trembling as you sit up in bed, falling back on your knees as Billy gives out a heavy sigh.

“I asked Curtis how I should ask you and he said, just do it naturally, you know, like how’d I ask you how the day is going or what you wanted to do. Then I asked Frank and he said to ask it like I would give you a compliment and…. aww fuck it I don’t know how to say this because I know. I know you aren’t looking for something serious, that you’re afraid because for some reason I cannot get out of your skull, you don’t think you’re good enough for me. Or beautiful enough or smart enough and….you’re a space engineer – of course you’re smart and beautiful and….” He’s rambling and you feel something swell in your heart. For all the time that you had known Billy, from the moment he had walked over to you during your friends company party, he had never been tongue tied or flustered. He was confident and sure of himself.

You had bought out this new side of him. You had brought out the insecure boy you knew he tried to hide from you and the world. And he was this way because he loved you.

“What I’m trying to say is…you know, ever since the day I saw you at that holiday party…god, you were different. Made me feel different. And you have always made me work for it, pushed me and challenged me. Made me realize how I could be a better person. And I hope I can be that for you and….goddammit I just want to spend the rest of my life with you. Love you so damn much Y/N. Want to see your belly grow with my babies one day. Want to grow old with you and all that romantic shit…fuck, I shouldn’t be cursing so much in a proposal.”

He looks up at you then, his face flushed red trying to find some relief. It’s found in you as you bob your head up and down, trying to contain the tears falling from your face. You don’t know why this act, this little ask reassures you. Perhaps its seeing him out of his element, seeing how tortured he was in trying to make you happy that has you comforted.

“I will. Do. I’ll marry you.” You answer finally and his eyebrows furrow together.

“Really? You’re not going to argue with me for hours about it. Not going to try to convince me on why I shouldn’t be trying to build a life with you.”

“Really.” You say as you move closer to him and his frown deepens.

“You literally argued with me for five hours on why you didn’t want to move in here with me. You still even have your apartment!”

“I’ll sell it you idiot – do you want me to marry you or not!? Focus on your surroundings.”

You say the last part snarkily and he grins up at you now wolfishly before his lips are back on your own, trapping you in a bear hug as he kisses you.

“That’s my line.” He says when he pulls away and you shrug as his hand find your left one, sliding the ring onto your finger.

You’re amazed. It was your dream ring. And your expensive dream ring – at least it looked. You had always wanted a simple princess cut ring, nothing to fancy. The rock of this ring demanded attention. You might even ask Billy if you could use his security personnel to protect you from walking down the street with.

“I asked all your close girlfriends and your mom and your sisters and even your brother what kind of ring you wanted. When I went to Harry Winston they told me the cushion cut was basically the same thing and ..... oh my god are you not listening to me?”

You snap your head back up at him and press a soft kiss to your lips. Your ring was shiny and did he say a Harry Winston? You only thought people in movies got rings from the Harry Winston. The hell was wrong with this man?

That doesn’t matter though. You know he did it because he genuinely believed you deserved the best.

When you pull away you voice as much, “Thank you for loving me and taking me for who I am.”

“No thank you babe. But you know, if you want to find a more physical way to show your thanks….”He kisses your nose before you feel his hips shimmy against you and you laugh nodding your head.

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

[datauthorress]

Ashes of Night [Chapter 4: A Night Out]

Pairing: Arthur Morgan/Original Female Character

Summary: A young college student stumbles upon a man from the past, right in her very apartment. The man doesn't know why he's suddenly 119 years in the future, but maybe this is a second chance at a better life.

Warnings: Mention of past self-harm, canon character death (dream sequence), nonconsensual drug use and ill intentions.

Notes: I could barely write the dream sequence. I kept crying with every word I typed up. @the-darklings , this is for you. I sorry to give you angst.

June and July went by rather quickly, and August was soon upon them, causing Shelby to get ready for her sophomore year of college. She explained to Arthur that she would be gone from 9 AM to 4 PM, Monday through Wednesday and was going to school an hour away, so she would be leaving around 7:30 in the morning for school. And when she had homework, she would be sitting at her desk in the living room and would more than likely have headphones in, listening to music or watching videos for her classes.

Arthur understood, though he was still confused about the whole 'college' thing.

During the two months, Shelby was able to fake an ID and documents for Arthur, through a friend of hers who was an expert at hacking computers, that way he would be able to actually live in the 21st century comfortably. Hell, Shelby even taught him how to drive, as he said “jus' like ridin' a horse”.

Shelby was comfortable enough to leave Arthur at home by himself. On a Friday night, Shelby mentioned to Arthur if he wanted to go to South Bend with her, to have dinner and go out to a bar with some of her friends. He gladly agreed, having been coped up in the apartment for a while now. They rode up to South Bend, stopping at the mall quick so Shelby could pick up some more books to read. She often read at night after finishing a chapter or two, mostly when they were sitting on the couch, watching television. Shelby introduced Arthur to Netflix and Hulu, letting him watch the many shows she had on her playlist. A few times she had fallen asleep on the couch while reading, and Arthur had to carry her to her bed, noting that she was light.

After dinner, they had decided to head over to the bar, as it turned over to be 9 PM. Arthur glanced around at the neon lights, the crowd dancing and shouting. Some people were even sitting in chairs, kissing or grinding against each other, but Shelby paid them no mind. She guided Arthur to the bar, where two men were sitting, both of them sipping out of their own straw from the same drink.

Both men looked to be in their early 30's, and both had colored hair and wore outfits similar to the attire that Shelby wore.

“Hey guys.” she called over, and both men looked over at her.

“Shelby! My sweet darling!” the taller of the two exclaimed and immediately pulled the young woman into a hug, squeezing her tight. “Oh my god, girl, you're so skinny.” he said, releasing her after a few moments.

“I've been pretty busy lately. I start school up in a couple weeks.” Shelby replied. “Guys, this is my friend and roommate, Arthur.”

Arthur shook hands with both men and they began talking as Arthur ordered a beer. He found out that the men, Tripp and Dennis, were both gay and in a married relationship, having been married for two years now. Dennis, the shorter man, briefly asked Arthur a question about Shelby and it made Arthur a little unnerved.

“Has Shelby ever told you about the marks on her wrists?” Dennis asked.

Marks? Arthur furrowed his eyebrows, remembering the last time he had asked Shelby about the silvery marks on her wrists. She had told him that she was born with the marks, and that they were nothing and they didn't hurt.

“She said she was born with them.” the older man replied.

Dennis sighed quietly and shook his head. “That is a total fuckin' lie.”

“Dennis!” Tripp scolded, swatting his husband's arm. “That's not polite! Don't you dare talk about Shelby that way!”

“Arthur deserves to know the truth, babe.”

“And she'll tell him when she's ready. It took her three years for her to tell us the truth.”

Dennis sighed. “Alright, fine. I'm sorry....just...don't say anything to her, Arthur. She'll just avoid the subject entirely.”

Arthur gave a nod, and he glanced over to Shelby, who was dancing with a tall girl in black heels and a leather skirt. She wasn't really smiling, but she looked nervous, to which the girl said something to her, taking her hands in her own and smiling at her. Shelby only seemed to nod, but she still didn't smile. Maybe she wasn't enjoying herself?

When his thoughts cleared, Dennis and Tripp had vanished, leaving Arthur by himself at the bar. He looked around, and found himself in the presence of an absolutely beautiful woman, with long, blonde hair that was curled and deep sea green eyes. She was wearing a slim fitting dress that showed off her curves quite nicely and she had a twinkle in her eye that Arthur couldn't quite place. But he figured, he came here to have fun, might as well talk to some new people.

After about an hour of talking with the woman, and about four beers later, Arthur began to notice that he was warm, very warm, burning up actually. His head felt foggy, blurry and his thoughts were all over the place. He glanced around with groggy eyes, his vision blurring. He felt....confused, and odd. He felt tired. His entire body ached.

What was wrong with him? Had he drank too much? No, he wasn't drunk.....he never felt this way while drunk before. Something was very wrong.

“I gotta.....gotta go find my friend....” he slurred, getting up and immediately swaying a bit, hanging onto the bar.

“Aw, are you not having fun anymore?” the woman's voice echoed, and Arthur felt her manicured hand on his forearm. “I know a place where you can go rest.”

“Get....get off me, woman!” he shouted, or at least tried to, and yanked his arm away from her.

Arthur made his way through the shouting crowd, calling out for Shelby. He called as loud as he could, and within moments, he found himself sitting in a plush chair, his head leaned back against the back of it. He felt so tired...

“...thur?! Arthur?!”

Small hands were on his shoulders, shaking him. He opened his eyes, focusing his vision on the young woman in front of him. There was a worried expression on her beautiful face and he instantly recognized her.

“There ya are....been lookin' all over for ya...” Arthur slurred, trying to sit up, but only groaned and fell back again.

“Arthur, what happened?” Shelby asked, her fingers briefly touching his bearded jaw. “Jesus Christ, you're burning up....”

“I think I drank too much....” he mumbled, closing his eyes for a brief moment before opening them again.

“Maybe, maybe not. We're going home, Arthur. You're gonna have to help me here, I can't carry you to the car.” Shelby said, moving to his side and slinging his arm over her shoulder.

It took a moment for Arthur to move, as it was hard to breathe for him. He coughed harshly, using the arm of the chair to push himself up. Shelby wrapped her other arm around his lower back and guided him out the door, where he had to stop to cough, hacking up whatever had been put into his system. He only felt this terrible when he was starting to suffer from Tuberculosis, except there was a lot more blood and a lot more coughing. Shelby spoke soothing words to him, telling him they were almost to the car and they would be home soon.

“Okay, okay, we're here.” Shelby said, opening the passenger side door and carefully helping him sit in the passenger side. He coughed, thankfully in the other direction and breathed hard, leaning back as Shelby moved the seat belt over him and clicked it into place.

“Hey!”

Shelby glanced over from the top of the door to see a blonde woman wearing a black dress come towards her, looking like someone had taken her cell phone. “Can I help you, miss? I have to get my friend home.”

“You're his friend? Oh....my...god!” the woman shrilled, surprising Shelby. “Look at you! You're an ugly little thing....how'd he get to be friends with such a little bitch like you?”

“You did something to him, didn't you?” Shelby asked.

“I didn't do-”

“You fucking ROOFIED him?!”

When Shelby shouted, people outside went silent and gazed in the direction of the two women, one of them practically shaking with anger.

“So what?” the woman scoffed. “He would've had a fun time with me. He needs a grown woman, not a little girl like you.”

Shelby crossed the distance before the woman even realized, and the woman was knocked backwards when Shelby's curled hand came barreling across her cheek. The woman blinked away the black spots in her vision, before lunging at the younger woman, knocking her to the ground. The blonde clawed at her face and neck, digging her sharp nails into Shelby's exposed skin. Shelby fought back, effectively punching the woman in the nose and feeling the bone crack underneath her knuckles. The woman screamed out in agony and fell backwards, holding her nose as blood gushed from it.

“Serves you right!” a man shouted at the sobbing woman.

Another patron was coming out to help Shelby, but she refused help, and said she needed to get Arthur home. She glared at Dennis and Tripp, both of them who stood on the sidelines, watching the event. She flipped them off, and got in her truck, driving off as fast as she could, while still following the road laws. She trembled the entire drive, knuckles and face bloody, most of it was the other woman's blood. She wiped blood away from her cheek, checking up on Arthur every minute. He was still awake, though not very coherent.

By the time they got home, it was nearing midnight. Shelby used whatever strength she had left to carry Arthur to his bedroom, and set him on his bed, before she went to go wash her hands. Blood ran down the drain and she looked at herself in the mirror, seeing the scratches and cuts on her face and neck, the blood that came from her split lip. She quickly cleaned up and dressed in comfortable pajamas, then went back to Arthur's room. She took his boots off, hearing him mumble every now and then.

After Shelby got him comfortable enough, Arthur reached out for her, his eyes barely open. “Come....come up here....”

“Arthur, I don't-” she began.

“Please....”

Shelby went quiet at his plea, before she gave a slight nod and climbed into the bed. She scooted closer to Arthur, who groaned softly and laid his arm over her. He mumbled something underneath his breath, something that Shelby couldn't make out before he finally went unconscious, his breathing slightly wheezy. She quietly moved under the covers, staying a good comfortable distance from him. She knew he wouldn't remember anything once he woke up, as the drug caused amnesia. Her face stung, her eyes stung with tears, but she couldn't bring herself to shed them. The past two months had allowed them to get closer to each other, becoming more than just....friends. But Arthur was still new, and there were still so many things he needed to learn about this future.

Shelby sighed quietly and settled in next to the older man, her hands curled up near her chest. Her eyes closed and it wasn't long before she dozed off, comforted by soft breathing.

~

“He's....he's a rat, Dutch.”

Shelby's eyes snapped open and she glanced up, startled when she heard Arthur's voice, though much weaker and his breathing was wheezy. It was dark out, and rain was coming down from the sky. She glanced over as male voices spoke to one another, and she covered her mouth in shock as she saw two men standing, and another lying on the ground, clearly weak and in severe pain.

Arthur.

Eventually, both of the men standing left, walking away as if nothing had happened, leaving Arthur on the cold, wet ground. Tears stung her eyes as she watched in mortification as the man rolled himself onto his stomach, crawling towards what looked like a cliff. She could see the colors of the sunrise, beginning to come over the horizon.

Why....?

Shelby rushed forward and knelt down towards Arthur, a hand moving down to touch his shoulder. The man was startled and he coughed as he looked up and over his shoulder, looking up at the young woman before him.

“Let me help you, please...” she whispered.

He only gave her a single nod and Shelby helped him to the edge of the cliff. She sat down with her legs crossed, allowing Arthur to rest his head in her lap. He wheezed and coughed, his breathing becoming more shallow. His blue eyes looked up to her, as a tear rolled down the side of his face. “A...are you....an...an angel?” he whispered.

Tears formed in her eyes and she couldn't help but let them flow freely, her thumb brushing away Arthur's tear. “I...I am. It's okay, Arthur. I know it hurts, just rest....you've fought so hard.....now it's time to rest.”

Shelby watched as the older man blinked slowly and he turned his head towards the sunrise, letting out a deep breath, before he exhaled....

And no more.

His eyes slowly closed, and he relaxed, going limp in her hold. Hot tears streamed down her cheeks, and she leaned down, pressing her forehead to his, trembling.

“I'm so sorry this happened to you, Arthur....you deserved better.” she whispered, closing her eyes.

The next time she opened them, she was staring at Arthur's sleeping form, as he had rolled onto his back sometime during the night. It was still dark out, which meant the sun hadn't started to come up yet. She sniffled and sat up, glancing over at Arthur's relaxed expression. She scooted closer, reaching up with a trembling hand, gently placing the hand over his heart, feeling it beat strongly underneath her palm.

He was so real, and yet....

He had died, right there.

She placed her free hand over her mouth, muffling her sobs as she used the other hand to clutch onto his shirt slightly.

I'm so sorry, Arthur. But please...

Don't leave me.