#i went the toxic route ..... love me regardless <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[manawari]

Fanfic tropes

Thank you for the tag @tleeaves !!

Rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic?

• -10 -> very dissuaded

• 0 - don't care either way

• 10 -> very enticed

• nope -> if it's a hard no and you'd never click on a fic with that tag or or you even have the tag blocked or you'd insta click out of the fic if it wasn't tagged

Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it's conditional.

Age Gap: 0/-3

That entirely depends on how big the age gap is. Overall, I don't care, but if I check the ages and my mind went "holy mother of @#&$" that's an automatic pass and I'll drop the story, so regardless of how good it is, the age gap still plays a part.

In my novel, I have a character who's immortal, but in the earliest draft, I made the character immortal for a long time, and after realizing how stories went for that route, I decided to change it and made the character become immortal for the first time — I've always wanted to write about someone coming in terms with their immortality for the first time, so that's an opportunity.

Codependency: 0

Again, this depends on how the trope is used. If the character has been traumatized so much and had nobody by their side to rely on found someone to let their guard down and entrust them with their pain that they had been holding on for too long, that's a plus for me! But if the character does nothing at all and acts their whole world revolves around character b, that's a no-no.

In my second novel, my main character lived in such an awful life, he grew up in the streets alone and had to fight in order to survive. He was alone and never had someone by his side. But when the survivors came, his life gradually changed, he learned to open up, yet found himself trusting Rebecca the most. He felt connected to her because of how similar they were and slowly, she became that one person whom he trusted to take care of him if his world crumbled.

Enemies to lovers: 10 (100 if I break the rules)

This is one of the tropes that get misunderstood a lot, but hey! That is measured by how an author handles this trope. But for me. . . AHSGJSGDJDHS FERAL FERAL FERAL!!!!! TWO PEOPLE SEEING THE WORST IN EACH OTHER AND EVENTUALLY APPRECIATING EACH OTHER??? GIMME THAT!!!!! Sometimes, enemies to lovers always end up in toxic relationships, which I tend to avoid in stories, but if I write in this trope, I will do my best to make it beautiful as possible!

I had this trope in my two novels, actually— one is Castriel and Rebecca (however, I'm not sure if I'll make these two officially go to the romance route, so don't get your hopes up no matter strong how their chemistry gets) and the other is Gani and Haliya (yeah, he saved her and her friend, but the real development starts when these two meet again 😈).

Enemies with benefits: -10

Sure, I read some fics with this trope, but that's out of boredom and I wasn't invested much, but this trope isn't in my list. Just. No.

Fake dating/relationship: 7

This trope is pretty hilarious! Especially when two characters hate each other, yet had to act like in a loving relationship — COMEDY!

Found family: 10 (100)

Ajsgsjdgsjgsjdgdh THIS TROPE!!!! I like this trope for both canon (if established correctly) and fanfic. Imagine a group of people who came from different backgrounds and eventually found the family they deserve? *melts*

All of my three novels have this trope! They built an unbreakable bond in such an unexpected place and— 🥹❣️

Friends to lovers: 10 (100)

I'm insane for this trope as much as I am for enemies to lovers (that also has a friendship stage)! There is something about friendship blossoming into something more and the relationship being "each other's best friend" and "all this time, I thought I'd never fall for someone until I found that person right next to me" that made my heart race ajgsjsgdkdhdkgsw

Almost every possible pairing in my novels have this trope, which must've been the reason why I think about those pairings all the time, especially the main ones.

Friends with benefits: -10

No. And I'll never understand this trope.

Love triangle: -10

When I was new to literature, this is one of the few tropes I frequently encountered. At first, it seemed fun, but as I grow, I realize how annoying this trope is and can disturb the plotline.

Mistaken/Hidden identity: 0

I haven't read or encountered anything that has this trope, so I don't have an opinion about it lol!

Monster Fu... Relationship: -10

First of all, WHAT IN THE NAME OF GOD IS THIS?! Humans are such a weird species. . .

Obsession, Possessiveness, etc.: -10

Again, WHY?! This trope basically has walking red flags and walking colorblinds.

Opposites (like grumpy x sunshine, etc): 10

I admit, I like this trope very much that I inserted it on every pairing in my novels as possible XD. There's something that makes me go crazy over the love story and any relationship in general because regardless of the differences, they balance each other well.

Fire and water? Warm and cold? Light and darkness? You name it!

Poly: 0

Eh, I don't care much.

Pregnancy: 0

I don't care much either.

Second chance: 5

Okay, but almost every manhwa I read has this TROPE and the reason why I gave this a half is because sometimes, it gets overused and the MC becomes holier-than-thou due to his knowledge (also how the heck does reincarnated/reborn/second chance MCs remember every detail when I don't even remember what I ate last week) and eventually becomes boring.

Sex to Feelings: -10

No comment. Just -10.

Slow burn: 10 (100)

I SHALL OFFER MY SOUL AND MY WHOLE LIFE! THIS IS CRUCIAL TO EVERY TROPE (enemies to lovers, rivals to lovers, and heck, friends to lovers) BECAUSE YOU'LL WITNESS THE SLOW AND PAINFUL DEVELOPMENT BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE UNTIL THEY BECOME IDIOTS AND NO MATTER HOW FRUSTRATING IT GETS, AS LONG AS THEY GOT THEIR HAPPY ENDING I AM SATISFIED! This trope is one huge umbrella and ANYTHING can happen!

Soulmates: 5

If executed properly, then why not offer my soul too? The angst, the pining, the happiness, and the peacefulness once they meet at last 🥺💕

[maxbernini]

the normal people comparison bothers me so much, marianne and connel's separation at the end is a happy, if bittersweet, one because for the first time they are on the same page and talk openly about it and make the decision together. they arrive at that point because they love each other. the story is about them learning to communicate. it's almost insulting saying it's an inspiration for this season when lola and maya never have a conversation about themselves as individuals or as a couple (1)

i wish we could have had that with lola and maya. they really think we are bothered about them not being endgame when you could write a story about a separation full of love, it's even more heartbreaking. i wish maya had gone to plant her potatoes knowing that lola still loved and supported her even when the relationship could not work at this present time. instead maya developed a heart condition and suffered for ten weeks while lola is no longer in love with her because she's better now (2)

literally all of this!! how did she read/watch normal people and come out with "toxic fundamental incompatibility" LMAO (i mean i know why, she wanted to do a story about a couple outgrowing each other and they were the only ones who'd fit - same way tiff was the only one who fit the hidden pregnancy plot she wanted to do - so there was never a chance, but as you said...this still easily could've been a story about two people who love each other making a healthy decision to separate together. like, they could've focused on lola losing all her trust in maya, or them wanting time away to work on themselves, all whilst the love was still there. but they purposefully emphasized communication for 10 weeks only to not have them talk once + went an ‘unfixable’ route (falling out of love), just so their incompatibility and non-endgame could be definitive. genuinely what did these two characters do to piss deborah off so much lol)

i talked about it here, but the trip plot resolution annoys me so much more now there's no endgame, because that was the only thing giving the finale weight. like, "oooh will maya go or will she stay?!?" is such a zero stakes question when either way, she's got a job at the school secured, she's got her friend's support, suzanne's erased her guilt, etc. the only thing she could’ve taken a risk with was their relationship lmaoo. and saying 'but the trip is her still running away, so she'll go on a trip later for the right reasons' is frustrating when she’s not opening up anyways (she didn’t tell la mif about the trip or suzanne), and i don’t like the framing of her staying to spend time with la mif as being better bc realistically?? most of them will drift after school, especially since she’s now a year behind them when she does her BAC equivalent, and what then?? like...the trip could’ve been a good thing actually! she’s got a secure job in paris regardless, so let her go to ireland for a few months, get paid to do something she cares about, get a change of scenery, network in a field she’s interested in, and meet new people!!

anyways thinking of my fave normal people quote (“i’m not a religious person but i do sometimes think god made you for me”) and how it parallels éléonore’s “do you have a person, a landmark, someone who the mere thought of their existence on the planet reassures you?”, and also how the symbolism, whilst apparently unintentional, still confirmed soulmatism <3

[mostlymobilegames]

Some thoughts on Brandon and his route (cut because it's a bit of writing)

!spoilers SBTR! (also negative and positive speech about Brandon)

Finished Brandon's route and I'm impressed, I didn't know I can have so many headaches in a row.

Ok but, while their dynamic is unstable and toxic for a huge part of the book, he does get better and it's a very, very entertaining love-hate relationship.

Brandon is, by far, the character with the best development, going from hating and not caring about most people to putting in all the effort to make things right, even after the crew gets dismantled. He just evolves so nicely while still keeping the best (??) parts of his personality.

I liked the bond between him and Michelle in S3 when they're just friends, they're the definition of platonic soulmates (I love how even Tony points it out, like it's that obvious). He's just there for the MC 24/7, he gets everyone there at her request, he exposes Tony, he finds Molly and brings her to the contest, he's just there for her and I adore how much he's grown and how he basically went from "revenge is the only thing I exist for" to "I'm traveling the world to gather these people and make my best friend happy after talking to her for like a few hours after 5 years of no contact".

But his romance path is... rough. Entertaining, but rough. There were moments when I just wanted to strangle him or got so frustrated and angry but sometimes I saw where he was coming from and there were heartwarming and painful (but in a good way) scenes between them (idk why their goodbye moment in S1's finale made me hurt so bad but it did???)

Is it worth going trough 2 seasons of uncertainty and pain for (about) 1 season of happiness? It's hard to say, considering that, although he plays a huge role in all 3 seasons (S1- he's pretty much the cause of all drama; S2- if he's not romanced he doesn't show up until the end, still, he literally saves the crew either way; S3- he does everything right while looking really good), there are other LIs pretty much in love with the MC and devoted to her from S1 (even though, by comparison, they don't really do much, sure).

I like him as a character and I admire his progress but also his scheming nature, I like how his priorities change but it's a little hard to get over the things he's done that also affected the "only one who managed to melt his cold heart", but on the other hand, he pretty much does everything that really matters in the following seasons for the MC, regardless if they're together or not, so...

I'm conflicted about the romance, I really like him as a character that I can hate on but also respect later, but their relationship doesn't start off in the healthiest way and it's pretty rocky overall, with the fact that, even though they apparently didn't really "break up" after the contest in S2, eventually Brandon was so neglectful that Michelle moved to Seattle to get away and move on (I say "break up" because, for most of the book, Brandon and Michelle aren't in an official, exclusive relationship and I think this romance is the only one that doesn't turn official until the beginning of S3, unlike the others that give the player the choice to change partners or be single before S2's ending).

On the other hand, maybe what ticks me off is this state of uncertainty that lasts for so long (2 whole seasons) because it just makes me feel like I could've gotten what I wanted easier and sooner (which is true, but Brandon as a character is definitely... a lot). I can, however, appreciate how there aren't consequences if the MC "cheats" while being hung up on "dating" Brandon, since that would've just made no sense, with Brandon officially dating that provider (yes, he was just using her but he still dated her, he also cheated on her with Michelle omg this is such a mess lmao), so I appreciate the lack of double standards.

Honestly, maybe I just need to stop looking at this from such a critical point of view and just enjoy the dumpster fire :)))))

I have some problems with S3 Brandon as well but he's way better and their relationship actually becomes a relationship so I guess I can get over them.

Anyway, in conclusion, I really enjoyed romancing him despite everything, he's an interesting character on his own, he's annoying and awful and I love him, no I don't

[irwinkitten]

got lucky | c.h

requested by anon: ok so for the bi!reader concept: last year i ended my relationship w this girl the main reason was because she was really insecure and jealous especially about me being bisexual like anytime i would talk to a guy she would just get so upset about it and she would make such gross biphobic comments and at the time i had so much internalised biphobia that i tried to convince myself i was gay n stayed in the relationship longer than i should have because i rly liked her i guess lol anyways (1/4) we ended and a while afterwards i started seeing this guy who i’d known of for ages (friends of friends type situation) but we just never really talked before or hung out but from the first date we clicked and the sex was crazy good like the type of sex were ur ditching ur vibrators cuz he’s that good lmao so one weekend we went to this party together and of course she is also there, i was so surprised and i could see her eyeing us the whole night, so when she came over i was anxious af (2/4) and this guy knew i was bi! it was no secret, i worked really hard to accept myself! so she comes over and she deadass goes “are you straight now? i knew you would end up with a man!” and she’s all smug but also hurt and im standing there like what the fuck and THEN this dumb man goes “ha guess the sex is so good i made her straight again” and i’m literally about to cry over how gross the whole interaction is and im so shocked i can’t even defend myself, i dumped him that night obviously (3/) last messgae: so basically can you pls do a redo of the gross situation where instead of being with that dumb guy its with calum and he is so protective n sweet n NORMAL n encourages u to stand up for urself about bisexuality / your sexuality, because what happened to me happens too often and its disgusting and gross and no one deserves that!! only if u feel comfortable/inspired tho, no pressure!! love u laura, thank u for creating such a safe space for all the queer babies it means a lot 💘 notes: i kinda enjoyed writing this one esp for my sweet anon baby. i love u and i hope this is everything you wanted ♥  warnings: biphobia, implications of emotional abuse

word count: 3.2k

donate to my ko-fi here

-

“Hey what’cha doing sweets?” Calum’s voice pulled you from your musings, your hand idly tracing patterns against the paper but the pen remaining on the desk. You wrenched your thoughts from the spiral you seemed to have fallen down, a smile crossing your lips as you felt your heart flutter at the sight of him.

“Nothin’. Just thinking.” You finally replied as he pulled up one of the spare chairs next to you, the bustling activity of the coffee shop falling into your background noise as his thigh pressed against yours.

“Really? Normally you doodle when you’re just thinking.” He countered with ease and your eyes dropped to the paper, noticing that the pen remained where you’d placed it when you first sat down. Subconsciously you must’ve realised that the route your thoughts had gone were not suitable to put down on paper, your fingers picking up the pen and mind falling blank immediately.

“Oh.” You breathed before placing the pen back down and packing away the pad and pen.

“What’s running through your head, doll?” Calum’s voice was quiet and concerned, you shrugged.

“Just, a lot on my mind is all. You’re not my keeper just because we’ve slept together.” You admitted quietly and he frowned before picking up his bag and for a sinking second you thought he was going to walk off, but instead, he took your bag from your hands and slung it over his shoulder. 

He looked back at you expectantly and you sighed before standing up, leaving the coffee shop with him, your eyes on the floor as you fell into step next to him.

“Your place or mine?”

“E’s gonna be home and I don’t want to hear them rant about me bringing people back.” You muttered and Calum nodded. 

“I think Ash is out. He’ll probably head out to Luke’s if I show up with you.” At his smirk, you rolled your eyes fondly before shoving him towards the bus stop. His indignant “hey!” was only ignored as you two waited for the bus, his arm slung over your shoulders.

Selfishly, you leaned into his touch, trying to ignore the fact that your stomach was doing flips at his touch alone. 

The bus journey was a quiet ten minutes, but Calum seemed to understand that you weren’t willing to talk with so many people around, so he was content to just keep you close, and you were unwilling to pull away until his stop came up.

When you reached his shared house with Ashton, you noted that the car was gone from the driveway and Calum smirked.

“Looks like he’s out. C’mon.” His hand tucked around yours and pulled you inside. And for a second you wondered if you could distract him with sex, but then the guilt appeared and you could feel the tears of frustration appear as your thoughts swirled and you felt dizzy.

Calum had stepped ahead, turning to see you stood leaning against the closed door, head in your hands and he knew something was wrong. Stepping back to you, he dropped your bags and took your hand in his, pulling you upstairs to his room and your stomach twisted uncomfortably.

“Cal I-”

“I’m not suggesting that.” He muttered. You fell silent at that and as he pulled you into his room, you felt unsure, but he gave you no chance to really deny him as he crawled into bed before opening his arms out to you.

“Cal.”

“I know you. You don’t do emotional stuff well but I’m here for a cuddle and an ear if you need it.” You fell into the embrace easily, your head resting on his chest as his arms wrapped around your shoulders, his lips finding your temple as you finally felt something in you snap, the surge of emotions overwhelming and frighteningly vivid. 

“I keep telling myself that I never was a lesbian, that I still found men attractive but Poppy made me feel like having that attraction was stupid since I was dating her and that I was a lesbian and it’s so fucking confusing because I like you, but I can hear her voice screeching that I’m not right, that I’m a lesbian or faking it or a freak.” And for the first time since you left Poppy, you cried.

Calum had been waiting for this. When the split had happened, you’d been ready for it, you’d already left her mentally, but this was what he knew you needed. He knew that the relationship with her had been toxic, but you’d never revealed the extent of her behaviour. 

His heart broke.

“Just because you like both men and women does not mean you should feel so guilty over your sexuality. There’s a B in LGBT for a reason, doll. That’s you. You’re bisexual and you should be proud of that, not ashamed because some bitch with a control issue couldn’t handle the fact that you liked more than women.” 

You found yourself gripping his shirt with your fists as you pressed your face into his chest, trying to stem the tears that seemed relentless. But Calum held his silence whilst you got it out of your system, knowing that you needed to get this off your chest. 

“I’m sorry.” You finally got out, but he simply shushed you. 

“She was a shitty person with an attitude to show. You shouldn’t apologise for the bitch.” His words were simple but it gave you a breath of ease, pulling away as hands rubbed your shoulders gently. 

He was definitely too good to you, but he was there for you regardless and you were certain that you loved him for that.

“There’s gonna be a party on the other side of town in a couple of weeks. Ash took over the old Firefly down on Hartley. He’s revamping before opening the bar to the public. You fancy going?” And you smiled at the gentle distraction he was offering. 

“We get at least a free drink if we show up, right?” And Calum laughed as he kissed your temple. 

“He wouldn’t say no to me. Or you. In fact, I’m almost certain he’s expecting me to do full introductions on that night since Luke and Mike will be there with the others and their girls.” You rolled your eyes. 

“It’s not like I went to school with Luke or anything.” Came your sarcastic retort and Calum laughed as the two of you settled for the evening. 

“Pretty sure Luke last saw you when you started dating Poppy. He’s put two and two together but he won’t say anything unless you mention it. Even then he knows it’s not his place.” Your heart seemed to swell another size in affection for Luke. 

“You’re making it difficult for me to not fall in love with you Cal. Good dick, you know how to use those lips and fingers of yours, you make me feel like I belong and you respect boundaries without me having to ask.” You finally muttered and Calum gave you an almost wistful smile. 

“You may have been with Poppy but that didn’t stop me from being friends with you. You’re someone I’ve genuinely cared about from day one. Not gonna chuck that away because of who you are. Plus growing up with my mom and sister almost made certain I’d be in touch with my feminine side.” He teased but the sincerity and understanding in his tone eased your shoulders. 

Your features softened at the admittance and you pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Then I definitely got lucky to have you in my life at least, falling in love or not.”

—

When the day of the party rolled around, you felt sick with nerves and you couldn’t understand why. 

When Calum rolled up to pick you up—he was driving to Luke’s who lived closest to the bar and you’d both get a ride back to yours before he picked up his car the following morning—he could see the nerves and the grimace on his face spoke volumes. 

“What?” You all but demanded when you were debating outfits. He’d been sitting on the bed watching, but got up and held his hands out to you. 

You took them hesitantly. His thumbs almost immediately started to soothe across the back of your hands to help relax you. 

“Word has gotten around that Poppy is planning to show up. We haven’t exactly been quiet about our relationship, but I didn’t think she’d pull something like this.” And your stomach churned uncomfortably. 

“We’re still going. Ashton promised free drinks and we’ll be in the VIP area right?” You checked and Calum nodded.

“Ashton has already told the bouncers that she’s not allowed near the VIP section. They’re checking and rechecking the lists to make sure she isn’t on one of them.” He explained and you let out a breath of air. 

“Okay. It’ll be fine. It’s being handled and I’ve got you. Now which outfit do you think I should wear?” He studied your face for a second before a smile broke across his lips. 

“The dark purple with the deep plunge. Is it wrong of me to flaunt in her face what she lost?” And you laughed as you kissed him. 

“I mean, yes. But I also know that you want to show me off properly now that we’ve got things really settled.” You murmured and he grinned back unabashedly. 

It was still an uphill battle, but he’d given you a lot to think about. And after gentle convincing, you’d found an LGBT friendly therapist who helped you process your thoughts. It helped you come to terms with accepting the toxic relationship that you’d been in but also it highlighted how beneficial Calum had been as a friend and confidant. 

It also gave you the courage to ask Calum out officially, wanting to be with him entirely and not just in the evenings. 

He took that in his stride and things shifted once more between the two of you. When you opened up to him about some of your sessions, you knew that your trust had been well placed because he never indicated anything to his friends and so you were never subjected to pitying stares or glares. 

You were almost sure that you’d fall in love with him faster than you fell for Poppy. 

The drive to Luke’s was filled with your nerves. You hadn’t seen Luke in years and you were also meeting his two other friends, Ashton and Michael as well as their partners. 

“Ashton’s excited to finally meet you and stop telling me to be careful when I go to yours.” 

Despite Calum living with Ashton, your schedules never seemed to match and more often than not, Calum could be found at your place, a small sanctuary from your hectic lives. 

Ashton never begrudged that time you shared together, but Calum had mentioned a few times about how snappy he was being on the subject. 

“He’ll chill when he realises I’m not out to break your heart or steal something.” You muttered with a chuckle. Calum snorted in return as he pulled into Luke’s driveway. 

Your nerves return full force as he pulls you to the front door and steps in like he lives there. 

“Hey fuckers, anyone about?” He called through and was met with calls of confirmation, another yell following that they were in the dining room. Your fingers squeezed Calum’s tightly and he didn’t hesitate to return it, his thumb soothing across the skin on the back of your hand.

“Look who it is!” A voice crowed loudly as he stepped into the dining room, followed by loud calls of greetings. 

There was a flurry of introductions and you felt like the spotlight was being shone on you, under scrutiny from his best friends gazes once they had greeted their friend and Calum had introduced you. Or re-introduced you in Luke’s case.

“Well c’mon, the last time I saw you we were leaving school. What’s been happening to you?” Luke finally asked, indicating to the seat next to him. A small smile graced your lips as you sat down, Calum falling into the seat next to you as you shrugged. 

“Life I guess? It’s been definitely more interesting with the different jobs and moving about. Building up a social life again.” Luke’s face filled with a frown at that. 

Michael came in next. 

“Building up a social life? Did you not have one?” His words held an innocent curiosity, yet you felt yourself hesitate. 

“My ex was controlling to the point that I couldn’t do anything without their permission. They managed to make me believe that no one really wanted me around and I lost touch with old friends, like Luke.” You glanced to the side and he was frowning. 

The others held varying degrees of stunned shock or disapproval. 

“Well then he was a cunt.” Michael muttered and your eyes refused to meet theirs at the assumptions. Luke stayed quiet but his hand rested on your knee, squeezing it. You shot him a gentle smile in return.

“Well it’ll be good to have you back in our lives. Especially with these two knuckleheads.” He nodded at Ashton and Michael who immediately protested and you laughed. 

It felt like you’d known them for years as you all had a few shots. Ashton, despite being the owner of the bar, wasn’t worried about turning up with his friends. He’d already explained to his staff that he’d be around for the rest of the night once he arrived and he’d told the small groups he’d be here and there. 

After a handful of shots, the group of you made your way to the bar, your arm linked with Calum’s. There were separate conversations happening between you all, their girlfriends including you on their pamper night whilst the boys discussed a possible games night for all of you. 

When you arrived at the club, you saw the queue of people waiting to get in and the subsequent groans from the line as the bouncer let you in, no questions asked. 

Ashton guided the group of you to the VIP section and the music was still loud but you could still hear each other talking. You were chatting away with Luke’s girlfriend, arm still linked with Calum’s as Ashton disappeared to get drinks. 

Calum pulled your attention away briefly, his lips by your ear. 

“I’ve spotted her. She’s not seen us yet so don’t worry.” You barely nodded, acknowledging his words as you listened in, fighting to keep your nerves down. 

The night continued and you were all a few drinks deep. Calum’s arm had barely left your waist all night as you talked and danced and drank. You’d been welcomed into his group of friends with an ease you never realised existed. 

You’d deliberately not tried to seek out Poppy, silently praying that the universe would comply. But as the group of you stood out in the smokers area, huddled together under a heating lamp, your stomach sank as she stepped out, her eyes narrowing on you. 

“Fuckin’ knew it!” You could feel the alarm in your face as you stepped back into Calum, his arm going around you protectively. 

“Poppy, you’re drunk.” You felt curious gazes from your new friends, but you didn’t spare them a glance.

“You break up with me and go running to his arms, I knew you weren’t a fuckin lesbian. Pretending to try it out? Just another straight girl seeking attention. Fucking freak.” She snapped and your stomach sank. 

“Get it through your thick head that she’s bisexual.” Calum snapped in your defence, earning a glare from Poppy. But Calum didn’t shrink from the glare, your glance to his face confirmed he was giving her his own. You were mildly impressed that she didn’t back down instantly. 

“She’s a fuckin liar! Years of my life wasted on this bitch.” She spat at your feet and you took in a deep breath. 

“You don’t get to control me anymore, Poppy. I’ve liked both men and women, but you never liked that because it meant that I had more chances of leaving you. And I wished I’d have left you sooner. Calum certainly thought so.” 

“Of course you fucked the first man to pay you any attention.” Your heart sank once more at her declaration and you felt your mind fall into the old trap that you’d fought with for so long. 

“No she never. In fact she slept with a few girls long before she slept with me. But I was her best friend as she tried to deal with the mess you created in her mind.” Calum snapped back. You felt your heart swell for him. 

Poppy stepped forward, her hand raised but then Ashton stepped in front of you. 

“Get out. You’re no longer welcome in this bar.” He made a gesture and security slowly made their way over. 

“She shouldn’t be fucking welcome!” Poppy yelled back, but Ashton held firm. 

“She is my friend. You are not. Get. Out.” When the bouncer rested a hand on her arm, she shrugged it off and stormed away. Your entire body was trembling.

“So that was the ex, huh?” Michael commented and you could feel your hands trembling as you nodded. “Why didn’t you correct me?” Calum spoke up for you as his hands took yours. 

“It’s been a battle for her. Poppy had convinced her she was a lesbian, that she was wrong for having any attraction to men. In Poppy’s world, either your gay, lesbian or straight. Being bisexual isn’t acceptable in her eyes.” Calum’s arms wrapped around you and you stood there, holding onto him for dear life. 

“Well that makes two of us then.” Michael’s casual comment had your knees go weak and you let out a weak laugh. 

“Thank you Ash.” You finally murmured when you pulled away from Calum. Ashton didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you in a warm hug that was both comforting and reassuring. 

“Hey, you’ve been the best thing for my best mate. And you were friends with Luke once before. I’ve definitely got your back. And I get why you didn’t say anything and don’t hold that against you.” He muttered and you breathed a sigh of relief before returning to Calum’s embrace. 

“More drinks or are we gonna go back to Luke’s?” And you shook your head. 

“Let’s stay. I’m not gonna let her ruin it,” you leaned forwards so your lips were by his ear as the others went inside, “also I want to see if we can christen the bar in one of the toilets.” You breathed. Calum groaned as his grip around you got tighter and he pulled you in for a kiss that promised more. 

“Oh you’re so fucked sweetheart. Especially since I know where the individual lips are and they aren’t attended by anyone.” You held back a moan at that thought before pulling away, your hand in his. 

“Dance first?” And the innocence in your tone made him laugh as he followed behind you willingly. 

“Menace.” The term was laced with affection as he caught up to you, kissing the spot just below your ear. 

You simply grinned in return as you pulled him onto the dance floor, Poppy long forgotten as he danced with you. 

-

@sexgodashton, @goth5sos, @calumsmermaid, @empathycth, @wildflowergrae, @calpops, @rosecolouredash, @cal-puddies, @clockwork124, @loveroflrh, @stellar5sosrecs, @ashtoniwir, @cthla, @liketheydidwithyou, @sc0ttish-wildfl0wer​, @bluehairedtracii, @drummerboy794, @feliznavidaddycal, @i-calumhood, @wokeupinjapanisabop, @converse-luke, @madbomb, @ccnicole02, @youngblood199456, @aulxna, @megz1985, @lukesidentitycrisis, @snapback-irwie, @neonweeknds, @666yourwitchyfriend666, @gamerboymike, @cashtonasfuck, @ashtaway, @conquerwhatliesahead92, @itjustkindahappenedreally, @twoamhood, @kchillout, @damselindistressanu, @colormekaykay, @findingliam-o, @sublimehood, @sugarcoated-pain, @singt0mecalum, @singledadharrington​, @calumspeachy​, @colourfulcalum​, @lostincalum​, @burncrashbromance​, @asht0ns-world​, @a-mnd, @flusteredcliffo​, @loti18​, @ixcantxdecidexwhosxmyxfave​, @clumclum-hood​, @fangirl-everythang​, @lashtondaddies​, @calumssunshine​, @ambskiwi​, @abundant-stars​, @caltattoohood, @seedless-vascular, @myescapefromthislife​, @lmao5sosimagines​, @beyoncesdragon​, @jae-writes-fanfiction​, @cxddlyash​, @tresfandom​, @utterly-u-n-p-e-r-f-e-c-t​, @niallisworld​, @lietomevalntyn​, @babylon-corgis​, @monochrome44​, @behind-my-hazeleyes27​, @ghost0fy0u​, @lyllibug​, @bloodmoonashton​, @balsamic-cal, @calumsbaldhead​, @washedout-ky, @calumssunshinee​, @ghostofmashton​, @summerellaz​, @a-little-less-sixteen​, @cashworthy​, @smokeinherlungs​, @longlastingdaydream​, @h0tsos​, @sweetcherrymike​, @5sosnsfw​, @sugar-nico​, @sunnysideblog, @angel-cal​, @samros95​, @maluminspace​, @lukeinblue​, @cakesunflower​, @allamerican-betch​,  @britnicole11​, @gigglyirwin​, @everyscarisahealingplace, @loverofcashton​, @iovehemmings​, @g-l-pierce​, @jannimoeller3​, @wildmichaelflower​, @lukeskisses​, @5sossstan​, @youngbloodchild​, @alloutofcashton​, @tobefalling​, @abb-lan-5sos​, @calumsbub​, @flameraine​, @here-for-the-uproars​, @mateisit-balsamic​, @ilovelukey​, @sarahshepherdblog​

[plannedparenthood]

Justice, Knowledge, and Power: Meet the People of Raíz

In their own words, four organizers discuss why they push for public policies that truly represent the Latinx community — and work to protect access to health care.

Planned Parenthood health centers provide care to communities across the country — people of all colors, all gender expressions, regardless of income, education, or immigration status. But that care affects each of our communities in different ways.

The Latinx people who power Planned Parenthood can attest to that truth, and can speak from knowledge about how their life experience informs the ways Planned Parenthood speaks about — and works to protect and expand — access to health care

We want you to meet a few of the Latinx members of the Planned Parenthood family — and to learn from them, in their own words, about the importance of the work they do every day.

Angelica Romero Raíz Organizer, Planned Parenthood Arizona

1. How long have you worked at Planned Parenthood?

I am a new Raíz organizer and have been on staff for five months — but I was a Raíz volunteer for two years.

2. Why did you come to work at PP?

I got involved with PP because I knew this administration would attack women — but specifically women of color like myself. Planned Parenthood not only focuses on health care for all, but also advocates for immigrant rights so I thought it would be the perfect route to fight for the injustices that matter to me.

3. What does the Raíz organizing work mean to you?

Organizing with Raíz is like organizing for our roots and where we come from. Educating our communities of color on reproductive care issues is something powerful because at times, our people are the ones who are being left out of the reproductive care conversations. Seeing my mom be educated about the services we provide and being able to break the abortion stigma she held is something powerful, and even more empowering when it can be done to many other women like my mother through the Raíz program.

Norma Jimenez Specialist, Latino Leadership and Engagement, Planned Parenthood Federation of America

1. How long have you worked at Planned Parenthood?

I started my involvement with Planned Parenthood in Phoenix in 2014 when President Obama rolled out the Affordable Care Act (ACA). At the time I was working with a Planned Parenthood group called Community Connect —  which I had heard about when a friend who knew I was looking for an internship related to health care emailed to say, “you should apply to this.” That job focused on helping Latinx people and people of color get health insurance. Over the course of six months, I walked neighborhoods, knocked on over 100 doors, mainly Spanish-speaking  households, and assisted them in enrolling and choosing a healthcare plan that would work for them and their families through the ACA.

After the enrollment period ended, I continued to engage with Planned Parenthood locally and kept working with Latinx folks through a program called Raíz. As an organizer with Raíz, I helped get sex-ed policies  adopted by local school districts and provided an educational forums and pláticas to Spanish-speaking communties and partners. I decided that I wanted to continue being connected with Planned Parenthood, and now, I am working with the strategic partnerships team at the national office in DC.  

2. Why did you come to work at PP?

I grew up in a Catholic household in a Mexican family. At a young age, I was made aware to never let anyone touch my body without my permission; or if I was ever made uncomfortable by a male or anyone, to let my mom or grandma know. That was it. All other topics related to reproductive care, education or health care were not talked about. When I was in middle school, my body started to develop faster than many other of my girl friends. I hid my body under loose clothing when I went to school and hated my body because I was starting to look like a woman. During this time, I also got my period (in middle school) during class and I was so scared. That moment changed me. I was scared, confused and I felt alone and questioned, "why me?" — as if I was broken and I had done something wrong. I had to learn how to navigate that time and moment on my own. My family didn’t talk to me about it. They didn’t know how.

I understood soon enough that many of our moms, and loved ones don’t know how to bring up the subject of reproductive care to their children. Many of our parents think our teachers should be educating us on “sex topics” when in reality, comprehensive sex education is not taught in school at all.

This is why I have decided to work with Planned Parenthood.  Planned Parenthood is the country's largest sex education provider as well as the go-to provider for reproductive health care for  people. Planned Parenthood was there for me when I needed my first annual exam. They were there when I needed to learn about my birth control options and most importantly, Planned Parenthood helped me find my voice, and my identity. I learned to love my body unconditionally. I want all young people to know they are not alone, and it’s okay to feel confused and scared. Planned Parenthood is here for you.

3. What does the Raíz organizing work mean to you?

My first time learning to unpack all the bottled-up feelings and trauma I had since I was little, was through Raíz. Raíz provided me with resources and skills to help me develop my professional career. To be empowered, to make my own choices while at the same time being true to the values my family had instilled in me. I identify as an immigrant, as a woman, as a Latina, as a feminist, as the first to go to college, as a survivor.

Raíz is not just another Planned Parenthood program. Raíz uplifts our people, our communities, it empowers people to be true advocates for what they believe. Raíz advocates for justice and helps change policies for the betterment of our families and selves. Raíz works with our moms, abuelitas, with teens, students, with community partners to work on issues that are important to us.

Raíz organizers know we are not single-issue people who live single-issue lives. Raíz upholds our culture, our races, our people and more than anything, trust and family.

Victoria Ruiz-Marin Raíz Organizing Specialist, Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains

1. How long have you worked at Planned Parenthood?

I have worked for Planned Parenthood since January of 2017. I was hired by PPFA as a Raíz Organizer to engage the Latinx community in Las Vegas. At the start of 2018 I transitioned into my local affiliate, Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains.

2. Why did you come to work at PP?

I decided to work for Planned Parenthood because I recognized the lifesaving medical services  they provide each and every day to women and people who need it most. As an undocumented individual who did not have a maternal figure during my adolescence due to unjust immigration policies, I found myself with a pregnancy scare and no knowledge of how to proceed during my high school years. During that stressful time in my life, Planned Parenthood was there for me. The nurse who saw me was kind. She addressed my concerns, and talked to me about the birth control options that were available.

As I grew older I realized that several women in my community had not accessed reproductive health care, because of barriers rooted in discrimination. When I was approached about the position with Raíz, I was excited for the opportunity to engage other Latinx community members around access to reproductive health care and the protection of our reproductive rights. The Latinx community is one of the most marginalized and underserved; I knew that through Raíz I would be able to unite my community in order to drive the change needed to protect our reproductive rights.

3. What does the Raíz organizing work mean to you? The work being done through Raíz means I’m able to give back to my community by empowering them to become leaders who advocate for their reproductive freedom. Through Raíz, we can collectively break down the existing barriers that keep us from accessing health care. Organizing my community allows me to uplift their voices and experiences to affect policy and ensure our access to reproductive health care, and hold our elected officials accountable. Raíz is truly about justice and building the most authentic and sustainable partnerships among Latinx folks.

Joshua Alba Raíz Fellow, Planned Parenthood League of Massachusetts

1. How long have you worked at Planned Parenthood?

I’ve worked at Planned Parenthood since late August 2018 — so, nine months.

2. Why did you come to work at PP?

Coming to work at Planned Parenthood was not initially part of my plan, so it was a surprise. As a cis-male Latino, I had always seen Planned Parenthood as a womxn’s organization, even though I’ve sought its services. I decided to take the opportunity, because I realized that all the reading and healing that I’ve been doing for myself, with my partners, family and friends, around  trauma and toxicity stemmed from my relationships with my body, and everyone around me. I still get shook when I register just how fundamental sexual and reproductive health is to identity, empowerment, connection — and how basic health is to all of us.

3. What does the Raíz organizing work mean to you?

This work I’m doing through Raíz is a cornerstone to liberation for me and my people. When I look at the still-lingering effects of Puritan decimation in the Northeast and Catholic colonialism in the Caribbean — I’m Dominican American — I see bodies policed, slaves, minds shackled, forced breeding, rape, mutilation and murder. My family is a direct product of that, and that trauma lives in me. I struggle to heal, and in order to heal, we have to change the core ways in which we see ourselves that we’re established so very long ago. That means owning our own bodies, that means respecting other’s bodies and choices, and doing no harm from this ground level, all the way up. That means fighting for the right for everybody to be able to have, at least, enough protections in this area of our lives, so that we can heal our generational wounds. That’s what Raíz means to me. It’s up to us.

[starwarsstreettalk]

Reylo - Part II – Alternatives to Reylo

Presenting an alternative to Reylo.  Reylos, Be not scared to read.

Definition: Reylo (pronounced RAY-LOW) – the romantic pairing of Rey and Kylo Ren from the Star Wars Sequel Trilogy “ST”.

This is a follow up to my last Pro-Reylo related post.  

This will not be a vicious attack on the fans who desperately want Reylo to happen. This is not an argument why Reylo should or should NOT happen.  This is more of an observation based on clues, and my experience watching TV, movies, and based on what seems most “Star Warsy.”  The Reylo angle is a somewhat dark relationship to this point. What if Star Wars takes a more positive and what I like to call “Hallmark Movie” route?

So here are a few clues as to why Reylo might NOT happen.

Clue #1: Finn + Rey?

In The Force Awakens – Finn was definitely crushing on Rey.  It certainly looked like Star Wars was setting up a somewhat unconventional yet modern day couple in Rey and Finn. And there is that scene where Finn lies to the Resistance and recruits Han Solo and Chewbacca to go to Starkiller base just to secretly rescue Rey from the First Order.  He WENT BACK FOR HER!  Awww… but then, it seemed like Finn got put in the friend zone by the end.   But I digress.  By the ending of The Last Jedi showed a pretty long hug between Rey and Finn.   They are adorable.  Finn is so worthy of love.   I believe he will find love in Episode IX.  It’s just a matter of with whom.  Does Rey love Finn? Or is she willing to let him go to be with Rose?  

I don’t know if Finn would even let Rey be with Kylo Ren.  Now that sounds like I’m calling Finn controlling or saying that Rey would even allow her friend to tell her who she can or cannot be with.  But Rey respects Finn and he cares about her too much to let her fall for a bad boy/guy, a bad guy who killed his father in front of them and physically assaulted both Rey and Finn at the end of The Force Awakens.  

Clue #2: Poe and Rey?  

At the end of The Last Jedi, they included a scene that was initially in the novelization of the Force Awakens, which is Poe meeting Rey, despite the fact that they were standing 5 feet away from each other in the scene were R2-D2 helps BB-8 reveal the map to Luke Skywalker AND Rey and Poe were both worried over Finn’s medical condition. Continuity anyone????  But just to make it official, Rian Johnson jammed in the official handshake scene at the end of the Last Jedi, so that we will know that they now know each other, even though Poe already knows who Rey is, Duh!  He has seen her, he knows who she is, and he obviously thinks she is awesome. Remember when he shook her hand, she said “I’m Rey” and he smiled at her and was all like “I know” (a little Han Solo-y, right?)  And then she smiled back at him with a new found gleam in her eye.  I would not be shocked to see a Rey/Poe flirtation at least.   If there is a time jump before the next movie, we may even see that there is not only a flirtation but a well-developed relationship between them.   Where it goes from there, we will see!

Clue or Prediction #3: The Classic Love Triangle

Time to bring back the concept of a love triangle?   Maybe… I make a lot of references to Hallmark movies and in a lot of these movies, the girl is engaged to some rich, arrogant snob but falls in love with the nice, funny, cute guy by the end.   Kylo Ren’s failure to do the right thing (i.e. not making amends for his father’s murder, not forgiving or reconciling with his sad mom) could turn into a win for the good guy, in this case, Poe Dameron, war hero, emerging leader of the Resistance/Rebel Alliance.  Maybe in the end, the good guy gets the girl.  

Clue #3: “I Don’t Have Time for Anything Else”

There was a timespan of only a few days between the beginning of The Force Awakens and end of The Last Jedi. Legitimately, there hasn’t been enough time for real romance to take place.   So as of now, nothing has really happened between any of the characters except the peck on the lips that Rose gave to Finn.

We’re expecting a time jump between Episode 8 and 9.   So let’s say a year has passed by the time Episode IX starts.  What if the events of Episode IX take place also over days?   Is there enough time for a romance to develop that hasn’t ALREADY been taking place?    What I’m saying is that if there is a romance, it will most likely be something that has been developing during the time period between The Last Jedi and Episode IX, similar to Han and Leia between A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back.

Anakin pined for Padme for years.   Han and Leia knew each other for months / years and spent time in close proximity in life and death situations.  Those romances were given the appropriate groundwork cinematically.  The sequel trilogy timeline has so far not been conducive to romance.  Yes, sometimes in real life, love can happen at first site, but often true, lasting romance is sewn over time.   Now, if Rey and Kylo have somehow been in contact all of this time or have been pining for each other, then this could lead to a Reylo thing.  But it can’t develop in the middle of a 2 hour movie.   If they are still fighting in this movie, how the heck would they end up falling in love?  Lust maybe.  But love? Not sure how JJ is going to make it work for a lot of fans. He has a tough task indeed.

Also, Rey has a lot to do – fix her lightsaber, defend and fight for the Resistance, and other Jedi stuff I suppose. Does she really have time in this movie to get sidetracked by romance?    

Final Thoughts

There are strong feelings by many Star Wars fans on why Reylo should not happen.  Some people have commented that a Reylo relationship is toxic, abusive, yada yada yada.  Not trying to be dismissive of Anti-Reylos but these are all opinions. Shippers and non-shippers.   Everyone can have an interpretation and an opinion.  The movie will come out and we will see if people lose their minds over it.  But the truth is, we have seen many other similar relationships between Bad Guy and Good Girl that we, as an audience have routed for.   And that is because we secretly hoped that the bad boy/bad guy was actually a good guy who lost his way somewhere along the line and he can be good again thanks to love.   Let’s take Buffy and Spike, Vampire Diaries characters Elena and Damon Salvatore (more CW shows!), Sookie Stackhouse and Eric Northman, Catherine Earnshaw and Heathcliff, and countless others in novels, movies and television, and even some in real life!

I sound like I’m being pro-Reylo, but I just want the Anti-Reylo readers to get a perspective that this concept is not new and to open the mind to the idea that we may get a redemption arc for Kylo Ren.  I, personally, can’t understand how they would let the only child of our heroes, Han Solo and Leia, be the sole bad guy in this trilogy, or even the most evil in the Star Wars saga.  Han cannot have died in vain.  I’m actually a little surprised they had Kylo Ren seem to turn a corner by killing Snoke only to see him viciously attack the Resistance base on Crait where he knew his mother would be.  But the last moment of Kylo Ren holding his father’s dice and looking at Rey in a sorrowful way, gives me something to look forward to in EPIX.  

Regardless of how The Last Jedi ended, the Star Wars people can acknowledge they have a problem.   They have potentially set up a romance between a good girl and a very, very bad boy to put it mildly.   Kylo Ren may be truly be unredeemable after killing his father regardless of how much it has split his spirit to the bone.   The extra force Kylo used to drive that lightsaber into his father’s chest may have been a bridge too far from the get-go, which is why many people I speak to hate Kylo Ren.  Disney/Star Wars may have played their hand poorly, underestimating how intense the anger would be towards this act of patricide.   The Star Wars story writers may have no choice but to handle romance more delicately, taking cues from the #MeToo movement and other current societal guidelines of what is “acceptable” behavior between man and woman.  Or they may avoid romance altogether in lieu of a just a good story of light and dark, good and evil and focus on how the three trilogies tie together and the legacy of Anakin Skywalker and the Jedi.  Hell with romance!    

[dindadeel]

Character / Storyline / Whatever-you-called-it Analysis: Mystic Messenger

I really want to credit the artist, but unfortunately I, too, stumbled across this image on the web. If any of you know the owner of this picture, please let me know. Oh, and if the artist does not allow me to repost this picture, please let me know to as I’d be more than willing to take this image down if the owner does not allow me.

Oh my darling,

If only I dare to publish my (twitter) second account here, (will not happen, since I want to say things under privacy, too) you guys would’ve known my obsession over this Korean game called Mystic Messenger.

It is a female-oriented otome (dating) game. You’ll play as this Main Character (MC), so far Cheritz (the developer) has released 6 routes, which you can play depending on which character you want to choose.

So after playing each route and finishing the secret ending, here’s my thought overall.

(lol I actually already wrote a review on my 2nd account, but I’ll write a repetitive thing here lol don’t mind me).

This is a long ass post btw, if you’re not up to that, then you’re free to browse anything else. But if you do want to stick around, feel free to grab some ice tea (I’m recently into honey lemons) and some pockys.

When starting Mystic Messenger, there’s 3 options to choose; Casual Route (free), Deep Route (80 Hourglasses), Another Story (300 Hourglasses). Hourglasses is basically like coins that you can exchange to unlock features throughout the game. You can still proceed with the game without it, but you’ll definitely get more benefits with these hourglasses (e.g.; unlocking new routes like Deep Route, making phone calls, participate in chats that you missed, etc).

You can find more about Mystic Messenger here if you’re a beginner to the game.

Now on to the analysis!

(WARNING: SPOILER ALERT)

If you’re hoping for your-typical-shoujo-storyline-i-met-a-prince-of-my-dream, well you’re wrong because Mystic Messenger is here to fuck you up and make you emotionally attached to fucking fictional characters.

I’d like to think each and every route is a different universe every time I chose a new route (believe me, you’ll have hard time restarting your day after the 11th day). But I cannot help to feel that every route is actually linked to one another and the final ending is Seven’s route. (Yes you can fight me but thats the fact because Seven’s always have this additional thing in his route and he even owns the secret ending, technically).

However, another story (aka V route) is another different universe, because the storyline is a little bit distorted than the original 5 stories (well, it is an additional story).

The reason why I wrote a Tumblr post is because I got a bunch of bullcrap I need to write after finishing V route and Secret Ending.

First of all,

What the actual fuck?

Okay, everything was all good and jolly when you start playing Casual Route. I guess they called it Casual Route because it literally give you the tiniest bit of the secret of RFA. It literally means nothing if you compare it to Deep Route, Another Story, and Secret Endings. In actual fact, even in Jumin’s route, it don’t give as much information.

On casual route, it is very fitting to the name; very casual. It just gives you all these simkung moments with your character of selection. Sure, every route all-in-all asking the MC to ‘help’ the character from their wounds.

(list is based on my recommendations on taking which route first)

Jaehee - To choose her dreams or live on social prejudice

Yoosung - Dealing with his depressions and confusion after Rika’s passing

Zen - Overcoming his insecurities and his past

Jumin - Expressing his emotions when the world seems like tangled threads

Seven - Making sure he is belonged in this world and to be a place where he can call it home

V - Letting him know that he should love and put himself first

Tbh after finishing all routes, I cannot help to think that this whole mysme universe is started as a couple quarrel. But it is a twisted and complex couple quarrel. Basically it all turned murky when  — turned out both the couple did not realized that they’re in a toxic relationship.

 I’m gonna talk not only about any specific route, but the universe as a whole. Mainly towards Secret Endings in which branched from Seven’s, but the inputs came from every route regardless.

Rika had an illness to begin with. She struggles with depression, anxiety, paranoia, and (paranoia induced) delusions. Now this woman (haha please note on how I address her because I put my whole feeling on it) tried to hide it (and she succeeded) from the rest of the member, except V, who’s her fiancee and the one she trusted wholeheartedly. I guess her intentions are good, because she don’t want the rest of the member to worry about her. All she ever wanted to do was to create RFA in hope she could help people with her charity parties and where people with different background and social status could mingle. But again, she’s dealing with a mental illness and I guess she needs someone to know her as a whole, which is V.

This is where everything went wrong, I guess.

Rika does not represent people with mental illness. Cheritz just need a character as an antagonist, or there won’t be any storyline, hahaha.

Don’t get me wrong. V is a loving man. His intentions are also come from a good heart. V loves Rika wholeheartedly. He loves Rika with her flaws, too.

But their actions were like a ripple in a calm water. A single drop could disturb the whole surface.

V comes from a wealthy family, alongside Jumin. He was brought up to act like one. His father brought him up so that he could continue the family business, like Jumin. However, V’s mother was a musician. In fact, his family business related a lot in art & creative industry. So he have this ‘artist blood / tendency’ within him. I think his father opposed him on being an actual artist, so instead he became a photographer. This is where he encountered Rika.

Rika, on the other hand, did not came from a good childhood memory. She was adopted. However, turned out the adoptive parents regretted adopting Rika (that’s a fucked up parents to begin with. I mean, you HAD a choice to PICK your child for God’s sake. You’re not stuck with whatever-God-gave-you on your womb but you GET to choose, either the gender nationality race whatever suits you best and you STILL regret it?). She always felt that she does not belong anywhere and don’t have any place to harbor. She always feel empty.

Now when Rika met V, it felt like a faith to both of them. Rika was the empty canvas. She never knew how it felt to be loved. V, on the other hand, does not know how to give love, as he was always brought up in prince-like manner, and his mother was not able to be there to teach him how to love. So when he encountered Rika, I guess in his artistic mind, his love was like this massive artwork, ready to be painted on Rika’s blank canvas.

Both of them thought that their love was like the sun in the sky.

Why the sun?

Well, the sun is the source of living being. No matter where you are, it will shine. Even when the clouds are there to cover it, the sun is still there, giving you all the warmth. But the thing with the sun, in my opinion, yes it is warm, but there are times where you can get burn to crisp if you stand too long below it. You can get blind if you stare too much. Why, you can even get skin cancer if you’re not well protected.

Both of them could not express their love... as a couple. One wants to accept everything and one is willing to give everything. But the thing is... everything has its own limit. Sure, it feels like they’re meant for each other, however I think it is a toxic relationship as no one in that relationship know how to say no and to stop. V being too philosophical attracted to Rika’s innocence. Back to my canvas-paint theory, it is like Rika is the blank canvas, and V is willing to paint every single space within Rika. So much it turned into obsession. So much that Rika’s actually suffocated from it. Rika’s running out of space.

Sally’s death was the trigger. Rika was in the verge of breaking down. She said it was her fault. Said nobody would love her if they know how dark she is. She is actually ashamed of her illness and struggles, and she wants people to see her as a savior instead. V, who love her so dearly, instead of stopping her, said;

“Even if you strangle my neck, blind my eyes and break my limbs... I will still love you.”

THAT IS FUCKED UP OKAY. Now, if you have a loved one that’s struggling with these conditions, you do not add fuel to the fire. Don’t encourage them to hurt people! What V did was to turn the switch in Rika. In her innocent thought (at first I could not believe Rika was this stupid, but then again, she had her condition), it is okay to be abusive, as V said, he will still love him regardless. THIS. WAS. THE. FUCKING. TRIGGER.

Rika hurt V on purpose due to him trying to stop Rika on creating this cult where she force happiness onto people, drug them so that they would not know any pain. I know V had a good intention trying to stop Rika but I cannot stop thinking that he’s the one who made Rika to had this thought. It was the seed he planted on Rika. He was expecting a beautiful flower to bloom from it, but a monster sprouted instead because of the way he tended the seed.

Due to that, Rika left V for three main reason;

V opposed her idea on creating this everlasting paradise

She thought that V did not love her anymore because she thought V is disgusted with her monster side and the last thing she wanted was for V to leave her side

She knows what she did was wrong. She might be distorted, but she is good by nature. So when she realized she injured V severly, she is actually scared of herself. What if she hurt V even more in future?

And this is where everything went from what the fuck to what in the actual motherfucking fuck?

So instead of spilling the truth, V, being a chivalrous man he is, decided to keep it as a secret. He stated that the reason he kept it as a secret because he did not wish to put Rika under a dark impression. He wants Rika to be seen in her glorious days, as a brilliant young lady which everybody love and adore.

He decided to make Rika’s departure from RFA as her passing. He made up this story that Rika decided to take her own life. Jumped out the cliff, he said, so none of her remains were to be found.

I know RFA trusted this man 100%. But there’s a reason why Yoosung always doubt him, because I will certainly do, too.

First, do you think it is fair for the rest of RFA to be treated that way? To live their life in lies? I mean, come on, she’s basically everyone’s center. If someone that was that close to me, suddenly her fiancee come to us and said she took her own life but her body was never to be found, I would use every measure to fins her (I believe Jumin was loaded enough to do so). 

That aside, does V never consider the rest of RFA’s feeling in the first place? Does he think it was okay for him to lie to them? If only they did not discover the truth in Seven’s route, he will even keep it to himself. I could not help to feel that V is selfish, in a way he wants to keep Rika to herself. He is the one who Rika trust as a whole, and he’d like to keep it that way.

In Casual route, there’s no sign that Rika’s still alive. At the end of each casual route, V is always nowhere to be found. He is either not attending the party, announcing that he’s about to be blind, or just ‘let’s not discuss it now” / “I cannot tell you now”.

IMAGINE how betrayed everyone was when they found out that Rika was still alive and V decided to keep it as a secret. To make things worse, Rika even created this illegal cult. If they truly cared for Rika, I bet they would even love her and help her from her darkness. Hell, Rika was their savior in some way. I just don’t get the logic behind V keeping it from the rest.

For Zen and Jaehee, it might not be a significant lost, just a sense of disappointment. They’re not directly involved in Rika, emotion wise. Jaehee was merely Jumin’s assistant and she respected Rika. Zen was a bit closer to her, as Rika was his fan and the who ‘discovered’ Zen and help him with his career. But other than that, they did not share any emotion bond with Rika.

Yoosung though, he saw Rika as his own big sister. He saw her as his role model. He looked up to Rika a lot. So it is understandable that he was struggling after Rika’s passing, in the most unreasonable reason ever. Especially when Rika only showed her good personality. Who could accept that reason?

Sometimes, people said ignorance is a bliss and that is exactly what happened to each of their routes. They NEVER know. But that is the sad thing. They WILL never know. But if they WERE know the thing that happened behind their back, imagine how hurt they will be? Especially in Yoosung case, where he even get depressed over Rika.

Anyway, it gets even more disappointing for me for the deep route guys. If I were to talk in detail, it will take another dedicated post because it is a deep route hahaha I guess I was deeply attached to them (lol).

By know I guess everyone can grasp on how hurt Seven would feel. His brother was taken by someone that he trusted could take care of him. HIS FUCKING FAMILY. The only person in this universe that he share his blood with and his very existence is the most precious thing. Due to this stupid lover quarrel, Rika just fucking took him and drugged him so that he could work for her and made him hate his own brother. 

WHAT THE FUCK. This is a one sick lady. But whats even sicker is the fact that even knowing this, V did not give Seven any information. He just stick with “I can do this myself, so that none of the member will get hurt”. ITS HIS FUCKING TWIN BROTHER FOR ALL THE GOD’S SAKE. How stupid you could be?! He is more than entitled to know anything about Saeran. Even if love my s/o to death, if he done anything as outrageous as this, I would definitely call for help. This even involved other person’s closest relative!

Another thing to point out is why can’t Seven left any note to Saeran? I know it took awhile for Rika to take Saeran out of Seven and Saeran’s mother. But afterwards, when Saeran was under Rika and V’s care, he could leave a note to him. A simple post-it will do, if he was that scared to be traced. Let Saeran know that the reason he left first is to protect him. Why can’t he do this? I mean, its not like Seven never met V, if in this sense we put Rika under bad light.

Why does V think he is entitled to keep this as a secret? I could see why Seven was in rage when he found out about the whole truth when he about to rescue MC at Rika’s apartment. His reunion with his long lost brother was suppose to be sweet, but no, he was brainwashed and hate him to the core. And even when Seven asking for the truth, V still dare to lie.

But what is even more saddening is Jumin position. Surprised? Well, I guess it is unexpected as he is not a part of Secret Endings. He is constantly suppressing his emotions too. But that is even worse.

The fact that Jumin is V’s closest friend. In his route, Jumin even told MC that the only people that he could trust was V and Rika. I get that couple only share some things among themselves, but imagine how Jumin would feel when he knows two people he trusted the most turned out hiding such big secret? 

He trust V decision, always. When everybody seems to doubt V, he will be that very last person to agree with V. He will never hide anything from V, and even when V hides something from him, he will always said that “V’s always like that. I will trust his decision nevertheless”. The only thing that he didn’t tell V was probably he had feelings for Rika, too (fuck this thing. Jumin’s my man don’t you lay your hand on her Rika (lol)).

Speaking of that, Jumin was in fact treasure Rika, too. He claimed that Rika was that very few people that was able to make him open up and let him expressing his emotion.

He had feelings for Rika, but knowing that Rika never saw him that way and only love V, he suppressed his feelings and decided to just watch from far.

He even treasures Elizabeth the 3rd. Elizabeth the 3rd was so dear to him because it was from Rika, and V named her. The Jumin that we know now is head-over-heel over cat, but in his conversation with Rika on his route, he was not particularly interested in cats to begin with. Jumin’s fucking loaded, if he really likes cat, he could’ve bought the rarest breed of all and enjoy its beauty. But everything changed after Rika gave him Elizabeth the 3rd. He treasured every fragments Rika left him with. He didn’t even finish the book that Rika gave him.

So imagine, imagine it, my dear friend, how unfair his situation is. He already decided to be a bigger man and root for his best friend’s relationship. But turned out his most treasured people are keeping this huge secret. Imagine how disappointed he would feel when he knows Rika was brainwashing Saeran. Imagine how he would’ve felt when V decided to quit RFA on Seven’s route. Imagine how confused he would feel when V is always out of reach on everyone’s after ending. Imagine how painful it is for him to see Rika was beyond repair on V route, the two people he wished for happiness, turned out to be destroying each other?

Imagine how broken he would’ve felt when he attended V’s funeral at Secret End, knowing that his best friend’s own fiancee was the one who lead him to death, and the fact that he has to stay composed in this situation?

There’s a reason why I like Jumin so much. Not only his capability on stay logical (though sometimes can be interpreted as emotionless), but the fact that he never beats around the bush. He never sugar-coat his words (except during his route when he acts like a stupid love bird—no complain about this tho). 

Yes, he is not perfect, even on his route he could be irrational sometimes with his obsessiveness. But knowing his upbringing and his background, its understandable he’s acting this way. But in the end he even tried to overcome it and when V came, he believed in V almost immediately. Even when MC’s life was somewhat along the line.

That is how much he trusted V and how deeply he cared for him.

V, on the other hand, was so drowned on his own ideology of protecting everyone to even notice this. Do you think its fair? Does he thinks its right for him to keep the truth from everyone, when Jumin’s always there for him?

Jumin is even willing to go extra mile for V. I guess sadly V doesn’t see Jumin in the same light.

I know this post somewhat treating V as the main villain. I swear, on V route I tried to save him like everyone else. Rika was truly a sick woman on his route. I really loathe her. As Seven said, she was beyond repair. But again, I couldn’t help to feel sick over the fact that both Rika and V are still hiding Saeran/Ray’s existence, even when Saeran blow himself, ON SEVEN’S AWARENESS.

Even under this fiasco, V never tell anything to anyone. He didn’t even tell MC as far as I know.

Ray... he was the main victim. He was tossed here and there without him able to control his own consciousness due to the drug.

I don’t want to blame V. I really want to hate Rika because Cheritz created this character for us to hate to begin with. But then again, I can’t help to think that the root of this problem is both of them. Both of them acted like they want to save people, how they don’t want to bring pain to innocent souls, but in the end, with their lies and their acting like a goody two shoes,

how many souls did they hurt?

[bewitchthequeen]

Our Problems With Teen Wolf

Note: My friend, @knightedtime, and I made this a while back and I decided to release it because the world should know our feelings XD Or something meaningful like that. So here we go.

I have nothing against the actors. I have nothing against the writers. This are just my complaints. Any hostility will be exploited.

Feel free to add your own if you’d like! Just include a line break.

Jackson Whittemore. He came off as a huge asshole even when they tried to make him sympathetic and I was indifferent to him “dying” temporarily. 

No reasons for Lydia acting shallow, vapid and pretending to be dumb while she was with Jackson. It was never addressed. Never talked about why she did that and everyone just acts like it didn’t happen. Okay.

Lydia doesn’t seem to have friends. You can claim the Pack are her friends but ??? They don’t hang out much. Like hang out like normal people their age. So I think Danny was her only real friend because he showed concern and shit and talked to her outside of mystery problem stuff. 

Theo Raeken being a Peter Hale rip off. Cause that’s what he is. And trusting him about anything is bullshit. He fucked that up. Maybe had he been developed more I’d be more understanding. Nothing against Cody Christian but Theo is just another evil dude with pretty face. At least Peter had some sort of depth.

Stydia last season

Most Stydia fans

Stydia in general

Stydia being shoved down my throat.

Season 5 in general

Kira’s “ending”. It was bullshit. There was some open ended shit so her story being over was bullshit. BULLSHIT. BULLLLSHIT. and I hope Arden Cho is doing great things after that utter bullshittery.

The loss and lack of Danny. I fucking loved him and he was just gone. Another actor mistreated on this asshole show. Well, I hope Keahu Kahuanui is doing greater things than this.

Last season is about Stiles. At least 6a. I’m sorry but in NO way should the last season of the show being about the sidekick. I don’t give a shit what or who he is. STILES SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN THE MAIN GOAL OF 6A. I don’t give a shit about what Stiles fans and Stydia fans have to say about it. 

Scott and Stiles’ friendship is continuously on a downward spiral. Stiles has always been the dominating personality in the relationship. Check out all of season one if you don’t believe me. Scott just recently started coming into his own with being an alpha, a leader. I feel like Stiles doesn’t like that. Aside from this, I also feel like Stiles expects certain privileges with being Scott’s “best friend” but their relationship has corroded and they can’t really be “best friends” if Scott no longer trusts Stiles. And I don’t believe he does, regardless of what Jeff says.

The unrealistic relationships. Stydia. Stalia. Mainly. Because it’s kind of relationships that they just kind of pulled out of their asses and were like “meh”. Adelaide and Gage left and Stiles just needed someone. 

No explanation for what happened to Derek. Literally. I know that Tyler H. said he wasn’t coming back but the show never explained where Derek went. Yet another character that we’re suppose to just forget about.

Scott’s development from season 3 to season 5. Where is it? I mean, yes, he was kind of an asshole in season 2 when it came to Derek making more werewolves. Then it went stagnant.

The fandom/fanbase. The most vocal (I don’t want to say majority) are the Stydia people. The most vocal of the Stydia people seem to be bullying the actors and I AIN’T ABOUT THAT. Listen up, you little parasites, your show is ending due to you bitching all the time. Had it not been for that, might have gotten some more.

The shipping wars

Layden. Another rushed relationship that I don’t have the capacity to care about. Plus the “homage” to Scallison is just -.- exhausting.

Theo Raeken comes back for season 6, erasing the last thing Kira did on the show. Thanks.

Rehashing old relationship. Same as 19, but it really urked me so let’s put it up here twice.

Theo Raeken in general

Lydia and Jackson ever being a thing. It was a toxic relationship. They were both kind of hateable. Some people are just too toxic to be together. Maybe had Colton Hayes stayed the could have worked on that, but Colton deserves better so he can go ahead and do what he’s doing.

Stydia in General because it’s really cliche if you look at it. That whole popular girl gets won over by the nerd/geek is so worn out. Usually, I’m all for an underdog story, but Stiles isn’t an underdog. He’s kind of an asshole. He kind of treats everyone like garbage (even Lydia in some instances) and the two of them are usually at odds. Honestly, Stydia happening (to me) isn’t out of love, but out of Lydia paying homage to her dead best friend because Allison was the one who told Lydia to give him a chance. Make of that what you will.

Scott moving too quick. I mean… His relationships go from like 5 to 100 in a matter of episodes. It’s a bit concerning even though he’s a sweet boy. It makes me concerned for him. 

WTF HAPPENED TO LAHEY (I know he’s with Chris but wtf? No updates on him). Not even mentioned again. He doesn’t exist.

The last season being focused on Stiles when they knew beforehand that Dylan O’ Brien was going to be busy and it really should be focusing on the Titular Character given that it’s last season. (On here twice cause it’s BULLSHIT).

The way that Jeff Davis treats his actors. I’m looking at Danny’s actor and Kira’s.

Peter Hale never got a redemption arc until season 6, but Theo basically got his immediately. Theo’s redemption is bullshit at that. Using fear as a redemption tool is never successful. Scared Straight doesn’t work for murderers. If it doesn’t work for sex offenders, it’s not going to work for Theo. Sorry, not sorry.

The fact Peter is probably going to get screwed over again. Wouldn’t surprise me.

The fact that Brett and Liam would have been more believable than Layden and Brett and Liam borderline hating each other. Maybe it’s chemistry, maybe it’s the fact that Layden was so rushed. The world may never know.

There’s not any main queer relationships. I dare you to name your top three in season 6 without repeating any characters. I fucking dare you.

They bring in a Bi character and he’s not used much. *cough*BrettTalbot*cough*

I can’t be excited for season 6 because of the past seasons (mainly 5) being at least somewhat disappointing

The fact that they claimed there wasn’t room for Kira and yet they casted a bunch of people for season 6 who were new.

Not that I ship it, but They baited Sterek a lot outside of the show for views.

Scott trusts Theo more than he trusts Stiles. So much for best friends, am I right?

Stiles kinda being an ass to Scott after Scott died and expecting Scott to be everywhere at once, resulting in that one gif where Stiles attacked Scott very fucking violently. Scott is a werewolf, not a superhero.

The show focuses more on Stiles’ Trauma more than anyone else’s. Scott and Lydia dealing with the loss of Allison, a part of an episode of them crying and the occasional mention. Why did Lydia act dumb? What went on with Scott since he didn’t have a dad? How has them being what they are affected them mentally? What about Malia’s trauma? These things are merely touched upon everyone once in a while. Stiles’ trauma is probably enough to write a thesis paper on.

Having no real reason other than Allison’s death for Isaac leaving (even that relationship was WAY too fast and wasn’t love based, like, at all)

Allison and Isaac’s relationship to begin with. There’s so much with this relationship that just grates me.

Allison tried to justify torturing people who had nothing to do with her mom’s death. Like I understand, but that also made it seem like they were going to set her up as a villain in later seasons, which for her not to go that route made it pretty damn disappointing and pissed me off. (Especially when she seemingly expected Derek to be cool with her. Fun Fact: Once you start disliking someone with a passion, everything that person does pisses you off so I can’t fault Derek here).

Gerard being alive. Just… That bitch.

The fact Scott is barely ever “single” and thus making him pretty fucking unrelateable. In highschool, I only date two people, some of my friends never dated, and some of my friends dated their s.o. freshman year or earlier to senior year. Plus, we never really seen him mourn Allison much so that could be a reason.

Kira’s story arc season 5 because that was weak to the point I barely remember wtf she was doing. Basically, made her character less memorable other being “that one girl Scott dated that wasn’t Allison”

The fact that Allison died at all, when really, they could have just let her actress leave and It’s like if you look at most people who are written off the show, the majority of Females who do DIE. 

Stalia vs. Stydia. Stiles should work on his personality a bit before he should be in a relationship but whatever

Wtf happened to Lydia’s dad?

Wtf happened to Scott’s dad?

The show just gets more unrealistic and unrelatable. These kids basically have no breaks in between problems .-. In continuation to this, I’m adding the fact that this shit always happens to these kids and while it’s a tv show and everything, it’s rly unrealistic that everything happens to them.

There’s a rumor that Scott’s going to kick the bucket for the last season and I don’t like it.

Malia getting hate for dating Stiles. 

Lydia’s sudden feelings for Stiles (Fandom would claim differently, but She looks really annoyed when he talks and their “humor” sounds somewhere between “I fucking hate you” and demeaning).

Void!Stiles not being addressed much (or the results of that rather). 

Just now delving into more of Lydia’s abilities :l and they’re still pretty fucking shoddy.

Stydia getting so much fanservice. For example, the whole Stiles holding Lydia’s hand when it reasonably should have been Scott, considering they’re closer as “friends” and he can take away pain.

The Wendigo thing. Just… What the fuck man. Don’t introduce new creatures if you aren’t going to delve. Seriously.

How everything always happens in Beacon Hills (I understand the whole Nemeton drawing people there but still :l minus when they went to Mexico which can barely be counted :l)

The fact that the show treated Kira’s departure like a joke with the hashtag, but when it comes to Stiles’ Jeep, they take it seriously. You value you a character over a car. Congrats, assholes.

There’s no actual way that Stydia would work out considering the who “Try being less scared” line Stiles told Lydia while working on his Jeep (which is just one instance. This is NOT banter. This is NOT an old married couple).

Stiles is becoming more of an asshole with the more paranoid he gets which is why he shouldn’t be involved with this shit in the first place.

The whole ‘Some of us are human’ line. Like sorry, asshole. I like you most of the time, but still.  

Tbh the way Stiles used to treat Lahey. Like, motherfucker he was abused and Stiles doesn’t acknowledge that and tells him he “milking” that. Lahey has trauma, you have mommy issues. Stop valuing your trauma over everyone else’s. Your trauma is pathetic compared to most other people’s.

The way that the fandom treats Parrish when it comes to Lydia.  She’s 18 guys and not even supposed to be in high school anymore, considering she could graduate early if she wanted. When you’re 18 you can date anyone older than you without people blinking an eye. 

Kate ending up being a werejaguar where she was scratched by werewolf Peter Hale. Just the whole “the bite effects how you feel” or whatever. No. You get bit my a werewolf, you should become a werewolf. Whatever, man. I’m tired of applying logic to this show…

JD disregards his actors feelings

Fandom being Hypocrites when it comes to Posey doing something wrong, when Dylan O’Brien’s done some bad shit too. LEAVE POSEY ALONE.

We didn’t get a funeral for Allison. (But we got one for Crazy Kate -.-)

The show is more about ships than anything else. What is a story line?

The fact Allison’s mom was a bitch and Allison’s “hallucinations” show her as a bitch but she went off the deep end because of her bitchy mom was dead.

They promote Stiles so much that most people think he’s the lead main character. Before I started watching this show, I seriously thought Stiles was the main character. Imagine my surprise when Scott was the werewolf.

All their female characters are kind of shit :l or in the process of going to shit… Or they’re dead... Or gone. My feelings for Malia fluctuate, they reduced Lydia to a crying, moping mess who was willing to risk Scott’s life for Stiles Stfuckboylinski, Erica is dead, Cora is/was female Derek, Allison is dead, Kira will be remembered as “Kitsune girl who dated Scott” because their lack of using her, Hayden… wait… who is Hayden again?, Let’s not touch Krazy Kate, who’s Braedan again? Wait, where did Marin go? Oh, fuck!

Can’t say much for their male characters either at this point.

The fact that they kinda ended Kira’s story with a cliffhanger. 

How Lydia was cool with Peter and went to him for help after the whole possession and “you” thing that happened. “Yeah, I know that you were like haunting me or whatever and literally made me feel like I was losing my mind which you never really tried to make up for, but I totally and completely trust you”

Why the fuck was it necessary to kill Erica? Is that the only way this show knows how to get rid of characters?

The fact that they probably brought theo back to make Matheo a thing. He fucking shot her. If I was Malia, I’d sooner rip his head off.

People defending Stydia with “It’s only fanservice if you don’t agree with it”. No, it’s fanservice because you bitched for it and the writers want to pacify you and hope you shut up. “The Stydia moments every season is only a thing if you ship it”. Nope, it’s fanservice. Holland Roden even admitted that season 6a was fanservice. (I say all of 6a because it was Stiles centered and seemed more like fan fiction than an actual tv show).

For how old everyone was, I’m kind of shocked that Allison and Lydia were still friends after Lydia made out with Scott… Unless she never found out about that? I don’t know man.

Allison neglecting her and Lydia’s friendship and only paying attention to get help from her resulting in what happened with Peter, but no one addresses that. Which, to me, makes Allison not the best bestie.

People sending Malia and Parrish’s actors death threats over Stydia. Are you guys serious? This is why the show is garbage and this is why it’s ending and views are dropping. Kudos to Shelley Hennig and Ryan Kelley for putting up with that shit.

The fact that none of the female cast have storylines that are front and center. They all seem to be in the background more than anything. The women of this show are more like props (excluding Allison and Melissa).

Stydia fanbase freaking out over anything bad that happens to Dylan or Holland. I’m pretty sure that whole freak out of her getting pushed is enough to explain my feelings towards this.

Then antiStydia people making hashtags telling Holland to kill herself :l That’s not fair guys. It’s not Holland’s fault there’s a bunch of oversized babies shoving their ship down your throat.

The actors getting any kind of threats over a FUCKING FICTITIOUS TV SHOW! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! YOU’RE DOING THIS TO A REAL PERSON OVER A FAKE FUCKING TV SHOW. YOU PEOPLE NEED TO BE ON SO MANY FUCKING DRUGS TO THINK THAT’S AT ALL ACCEPTABLE. A FAKE RELATIONSHIP SHOULDN’T BE THE CENTER OF YOUR LIVES. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST LEAVE THIS POOR PEOPLE ALONE YOU DEMENTED ASSHOLES. GO TO YOU FUCKING FAN FICTION AND JUST FUCKING STOP. JUST FUCKING STOP PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP.

JD giving the stydia fandom what they want when they don’t deserve it and they’re just a bunch of a brats.

The fandom shipping the actors together when they are real people with lives. This is just a general pet peeve of mind. Stop shipping living, breathing functional people unless you’re shipping them with their significant other. Don’t get caught up in other people’s life and start living yours.

The fact that apparently JD hinted Stiles was Bi and never did anything with it? :l He’s the straightest person ever. Seriously, I have never seen anyone straighter than Stiles Stilinski. 

The Panic Attack kiss .-. I don’t wanna say it was OOC but it was a lot less Lydia like than everything else and the begin of Lydia acting less like herself like people do when they’re in an abusive relationship! (That was also the kind of panic attack that requires space too.)(Yeah -.- but oooo stydia)

The fact that the fandom was anti Malia (partially because she punched him once) but was totally cool shipping Sterek despite the fact that Derek p much assaults Stiles whenever Stiles steps out of line

Stiles also kinda treats Derek badly and Really? I don’t see why anyone would consider them to be ‘Friends’.

Lacrosse is somehow popular.  Don’t know how, but Beacon Hills seems about the same size as Fresno is and really? I don’t know how lacrosse got so popular when beacon hills has a football team and that’s the so called american sport.

Fandom is woo girl power one minute, then bitching about Malia and Kira (Lydia less than those two) as individual parts.

The fact that everyone’s character development is all over the place, basically all the time

Basically all the female characters getting slut shamed

People thinking that Stiles deserves Lydia, like she’s some sort of prize to be won. Lydia is a fucking person. Fucking chauvinists. 

Tbh the people who get the least amount of hate are more abusive? (examples?)(Jackson, Derek (though Derek’s “hate” is more the fandom sexualizing him?)) (I’ve seen them call Scott abusive and I’m like okay HOW.)

Ima just say this now, which prob ties to a lot of the actor stuff earlier, but the way the fandom treats Tyler Posey specifically like… I really just… :l (It’s frankly disgusting how they treat him.)(It really is :c) So much love in my heart for that boy. I just want to fucking hug him and make him feel better. 

The fact that they’re putting Parrish in a Freezer during season 6 when he could help.

Ik that Lydia wouldn’t do this because Lydia and Allison were “best friends” but tbh Lydia has more romantic and even more friendship chemistry with Scott than she does with Stiles (Yeah. I noticed that.)

[samanthapagesof]

Issue #3- Carnival

What: Your Pages is an open-minded authentic platform for artistic expression.

Why: There is no talk of direct politics, all those who create content for Your Pages are free to their own preferences regardless of sex, religion, race, orientation or personal beliefs. There will be no tolerance of ignorance or persecution of personal beliefs and practices. This is not a place for any kind of toxic attitude. Rather a place for all those who enjoy the beauty in life and the random but original niches that create the world that we live in.

How: There is a new topic every month and on the first Tuesday of each month my team and I will introduce this topic by interpreting what the topic means to us with personal, and real-world examples. Then, every other following Tuesday (dependent on how many submissions) the issue will be filled with all of your work! As our audience, we want to see what you can do, and how you interpret each topic.

Welcome One and Welcome All To Our Interpretation of Carnival

“You loved ferris wheels more than roller coasters because life shouldn’t be lived at full speed, but in anticipation and appreciation.”

-Amy Harmon

Emili Holden-The Photographer

This theme was fun for me to create! It gave me reason to find inspiration, location, come up with a style, and find someone who would embody and portray that vision with me. I happily met up with Ashley, one of my lil basshed hunnis, and we headed out to an amazing location that just so happened to be closed that day…bummer. But Ashley encouraged me not to give up and she immediately pointed out a few other spots that we could utilize instead. Honestly, it was refreshing to have someone there with that much enthusiasm and to put forward that effort to make this work and to make me feel comfortable changing my vision a little.

Not only did we make some amazing images, we had a blast while shooting! Thank you, Ashley, for braving the cold, wet snow and frigid temperatures and for creating with me. I hope you all enjoy this series, it was a joy to create this and I am so happy with the results.

Emma Murphy-The Artist

Topsy Turvy

They dip and turn,

Coins jingling at their waist.

They open their arms,

To welcome the masses.

The lights dim, and

Smoke curls along the Floor.

Patrons young and old,

The small and the tall.

They wait with baited breath,

Suspense thick in the air.

Top hats and tutus bounce through

Starry nights and colored lights.

Organ music and staccato drums.

Figures glide through the air,

Weightless they float.

Masks and make-up,

Hide the reality of day.

Free spirits roam and

Magic runs wild.

Tightrope walkers dare and

Sword swallowers stun.

Misfits belong, and

Freaks are the norm.

Home to all and closed to none.

Ladies and gentleman, gather round...

What is this page all about?

-Essentially, I ,Anonymia, want to answer the questions that cloud your mind. I am in no way an absolute expert in any field but have endured many hardships in my life and feel that through my experiences I can share some wisdom. Now, don’t think this is solely for the heart-wrenching questions that make you contemplate many aspects of your life. But an option to ask questions without fear of repercussions. I can’t guarantee I will answer all questions but will do my best.

What inspires you?

-The passion of others inspires me to create. Seeing the emotion and raw elements that flow from art either in visual or written ways grips my soul. It’s as if their passion is feeding mine.

How to stay in touch with what you really desire?

-This question has a unique answer to each individual that reads it. But for me, I find myself using my hardships as a sense of motivation. It’s not that I am reliving each hardship but using each lesson or positive elements from the experience. A perfect example would be when in high school I was bullied to the point of severe depression. I stopped going to school for weeks at a time. The depression led to a very dark place and repressing that pain seemed like the easy route out of my continuous turmoil. The looks and whispers from peers burning into my self-esteem. I found it hard to summon up any kind of motivation. That was until I forced myself to sit down one day and asked myself a simple and straightforward question “why have I let the words of a bunch of kids corrupt my mind to the point I was believing what they were saying?”, yes talking to myself I responded, “I am worth something, and I was put on this earth for my own divine purpose.”  As an adult now I can attest to that divine purpose being fulfilled every single day through my passion for many things. To stay in touch with what you really desire you must remember the hardships in your life and use them as motivation rather than an anchor holding you back.

Ask your questions on Instagram or Twitter by either commenting on an Anonymia post by one of the teams profiles, using the #ASKSPYP or by submitting a question below questions can be anonymous!

Samscript

So, folks, we are changing things up a bit. Rather than poetry as my piece for Issue #3, I decided to share a memory that comes to my mind when I hear the word “Carnival”. In my hometown, Castle Rock Colorado, at the end of every summer, Douglas County holds a fair/rodeo. This event has been an annual tradition for my family since I was old enough to remember. The smell of popcorn and funnel cakes always brought a warm feeling my heart. Plus, every year I made it point to get a turkey leg. Would take maybe 4 bites and was always too full to finish it. So, my dad ended up always having two lunches every year we went to the fair. Besides that, there is a prominent memory that I go to when when looking back on my childhood in Castle Rock.

I was 7 years old and dressed head to toy in my Jessie costume, from Toy Story, with my bright red cowboy hat and with my matching rope I entered into the rodeos mutton busting event. For those of you who don’t know what mutton busting is, its when a kid aged 4-8, boy or girl, sits on the back of a sheep and holds on for as long as they can. Well, turned out I was the other girl who entered to ride that day. So, there I was the only girl in a group of 14 boys, who not only had a couple or so inches on me but most were a year older than me. Being the only girl who entered at all, they just threw me in with the boys so I could at least get a turn. Little did these boys know, I had been in every mutton busting event at the fair since I was tall enough to be entered. Teasingly they boys offered “ladies first”, I smirked and said, “No its okay boys, I’d rather go last”. With each turn the time got worse, the first boy started with 4 seconds. Then the following boys got between 2-3 seconds. Second to last up was the cockiest, most annoying boy of them all. Being only 8 years old, he had the attitude of a high school senior. As the adult in charge of the line of kinds told him “come on kid, it's your turn. Try to last the full eight”, he walked towards the gate and turned and blew me a kiss “watch how a real cowboy does it” he said. He lasted all of 6 seconds and walked away with a big head, the adult looks at me “alright sweetie, don’t let these boys run this event. You can last the full eight.” He picked me up and made sure I had a good grip on the sheep's fur, put the helmet snug on my head and said: “Show them who the real champion is”. The sound of a buzzer and the gate flew open, holding on with all of my 40 lbs I didn’t let go till I heard the announcer say “She did it! Samantha Grimwood lasted the full eight! We have our champion!”. I ran into the arms of my mom she picked me up, spun me around till we both almost fell over. My sister gave me a hug and said: “I’m proud of you Sam”. After they took my picture and gave me my ribbon I looked over at the group of boys who also rode, blew them a kiss then turned around and walked away.

While my idea of carnival is not the same as many, I think of the rodeo held in my hometown that also had some rides and some food carts that us townies called a “fair”.  A simple memory, but it will always be a happy memory I share of my family, childhood, and hometown.

“Happiness is simply a temporary condition that proceeds unhappiness. Fortunately for us, it works the other way around as well. But it's all a part of the carnival, isn't it?”

-Federico Fellini

Submit your work for Issue #4, show us what Carnival means to you!