#i went crazy underneath the cut ngl

[softodettes]

hello! it has been....(checks calendar)....a while. ....oops? sorry. see this is why I don't make promises to myself that I will do things. if I do that, those things never happen. because last time I promised myself that I would reply almost immediately (after my brain processing time) to the new chapter. and then of course the universe has to make life be, well, life. (which resulted in a three-week hiatus from tumblr) but at least I'm back? and it's the holiday season! so happy! (well. first I have to get through end-of-the semester exams. saw your reblog about finals week about three days ago and that is literally me right now. I am deeply concerned about my sleep schedule lmao. counting down the days till break starts 😭) before I say anything about the chapter I wanted to add that I agree with @siobhanbooks wholeheartedly. I had (have, it's stored somewhere in my brain) so many theories, and then that happened and all those theories just went poof! onto the chapter! (I pre-wrote this as I read, and, yes this WILL just be, for the most part, my reaction to that scene.) "He turned to pick his shirt up, and Brennan was too shocked by what he saw to stifle his gasp. The entire expanse of Xaden’s back was covered in angry, raised scars; Brennan didn’t think there was more than an inch or two of unmarred skin. He’d seen plenty of injuries in RSC and on the mats to immediately recognize dagger scars, but why Xaden had so many was a fucking mystery.

Xaden jerked back around, quickly tugging his shirt back on, but Brennan had seen enough. “What the fuck happened?” he choked out.

“I made a deal.”

“With a masochist? What kind of deal was this?” my poor baby Xaden! also. um. so. Brennan. hate to break it to you but that "masochist" is your mother. it's going to be....something... when he figures that out. spoiler alert: he figures it out. "You took a hundred and seven cuts to your back?” Brennan scrubbed a hand over his face. “Who was insane enough to even do that to you?”

“General Sorrengail,” Xaden snarled, “the fucking bitch.”

No.

She couldn’t have.

Brennan knew the General was ruthless—she had to be, to rise through the ranks the way she did—but to do this to a teenage boy was just fucking cruel.

But after the past year, he also knew she wasn’t the person he thought she was… she wasn’t the parent he thought she was.

Anger flared to life inside him. Gods, every fucking time he thought she couldn’t get worse, the General—his mom, his flesh and blood—still managed to surprise him. When would Brennan be able to finally accept that whatever decent memories he had of her before this happened were just lies?

And to think that he was related to her.

Fuck. Xaden didn’t even know that."

there is going to be so. much. fallout. when Xaden realizes who Brennan actually is. and to be honest I wouldn't blame him. "Gods, he couldn’t go on like this. He couldn’t keep Xaden in the dark, letting him ignorantly befriend and be trained by the son of the woman who made a child take responsibility for more than one hundred other children." uh oh. is he going to do it? "Brennan took a breath, and then he began to unravel his life of lies. “I need to tell you something.” Xaden raised an eyebrow. “I’m not who I say I am. My last name isn’t Aisereigh.” Brennan took another breath. “My real name is Brennan Sorrengail.” and......of course he did it. then again I'm happy he didn't consciously keep the secret knowing what happened to Xaden. it would have made it all the more worse.

"The gym was silent, until Xaden snarled, “You’re a fucking Sorrengail?”

“I am,” Brennan said evenly. “But I’m on your side. I’m on the revolution’s side.”

“Don’t fucking say that.” Xaden circled Brennan, like a predator sizing up its prey. Underneath his own anger at what his mom had done, Brennan was proud of the progress Xaden had made, even if it meant coming to blows over his confession. “Your bitch of a mother killed my dad. She burned my city down and killed my people.”

Brennan didn’t respond; what the General had done was out of his control, and he wasn’t her, but for Xaden, it probably didn’t matter. Brennan figured if Xaden couldn’t make General Lilith Sorrengail pay, then he was likely the next best thing.

“I should kill you for what she did,” Xaden growled, before he lunged at Brennan with newfound fervor.

This was different from their previous training sessions—Xaden’s movements lacked their earlier finesse, and they were frenzied, reminding Brennan of a rabid animal. Even then, he wasn’t worried—despite Xaden’s previous training and Brennan showing Xaden his tells over the past few weeks, he was still no match for Brennan.

With each fierce hit that he blocked, Brennan began to realize that Xaden probably needed this release of pent up emotion. He’d likely spent a year looking after Liam, the way an older brother looks out for a younger sibling. And he probably had to maintain a front for any Navarrian riders who came sniffing around Tirvainne, lest he give them a reason to punish Fen Riorson’s son. 

Combine that with Xaden’s visceral hatred for Lilith Sorrengail, and it made for a volatile fight.

Brennan was forced onto the defensive, until he redirected a punch aimed for his head that Xaden quickly followed with a combined hit to Brennan’s stomach and a leg hook around his knee. The movement sent Brennan to the mat, and Xaden quickly followed, giving him no time to recover.

Instinctively, Brennan focused on protecting his most vital organs—his head and his throat, since neither of them were armed and daggers weren’t a threat right now—as Xaden messily lashed out.

Despite his lack of control, Xaden was plenty persistent, and it paid off when he found an opening and slammed his fist into Brennan’s nose. Brennan felt and heard the painful crunch of cartilage moving, and immediately knew Xaden had broken it.

“Fuck!” Brennan cursed.

While Brennan was momentarily stunned by the sharp pain in the center of his face, Xaden used the opportunity to land a second punch on the side of Brennan’s head. His ear immediately felt hot, and Brennan knew Xaden had probably burst a few blood vessels there.

Underneath the shooting pain overwhelming his senses, Brennan knew that Xaden probably just needed to hit something, and Brennan just happened to be the nearest target. But he also wasn’t going to let Xaden treat him like a punching bag. He started to wrestle the boy into a submission hold before he could break any more of Brennan’s bones.

They were both panting by the time Brennan pinned Xaden underneath him, though Xaden’s breaths sounded more like sobs. The training mat was splattered with the blood still pouring from Brennan’s nose, and some of it had ended up on their clothes and smeared across Xaden’s knuckles.

“Are you done?” Brennan demanded through heavy breaths. He could taste copper in his mouth.

Xaden didn’t respond.

“Alright.” Brennan tried again, “If I let you go, you can’t swing at me again. I don’t have another nose for you to break.”

Xaden stayed down when Brennan took his knee off Xaden’s back.

Brennan immediately tugged his shirt off, pressing it to his still-bleeding nose and wincing when he pressed too hard. Xaden still didn’t move, and Brennan started to worry. “Are you okay? I didn’t get you anywhere, right?” Brennan was pretty sure he was the only one bleeding, but one could never be too sure after a messy fight like that.

Just like the last two times Brennan had tried to speak to Xaden, he didn’t respond. He just wordlessly stood up, wiped the blood off his face—whether it was his or Brennan’s, Brennan didn’t know—and stormed out of the gym without looking back.

In the sudden quiet of the empty gym, Brennan began to think that he might’ve fucked up." first: that fight scene was impeccable. seriously. I applaud you for that. second: oh you think you fucked up, Brennan? amazing conclusion. you really, really fucked up. third: Xaden is now dealing with things the "Xaden way". also known as shutting himself off and doing stupid things. yay! (again, I don't blame him, but he needs better coping mechanisms.)

"

“Brennan?” Calla gasped.

As a healer, she was taught to be level-headed, to never let her patients see her fear or concern. But all that training went out the window when her husband wandered into the infirmary shirtless, with a blood-soaked wad of fabric pressed to his face. I love how she's just used to calling him her husband now. even in her head.

“What the fuck happened?” she continued, ushering him to one of the vacant curtained-off beds.

“Xaden happened.” Brennan’s voice was muffled underneath the fabric still pressed to his face.

As soon as he sat down, Calla gently removed the crumpled fabric—probably Brennan’s shirt, seeing as he was shirtless—and discarded it on the bed to assess the injury. Dried blood had smeared down Brennan’s chin, covering the lower half of his face and a bit of his neck. When he opened his mouth, his teeth were bloodstained, and fresh blood still dripped slowly from his nostrils. His ear was swollen too, but it wasn’t as concerning for Calla as the broken nose was.

She sighed as she gently probed the swollen skin around the crooked cartilage. “Well, whatever he did must’ve been effective, because he broke your nose.” She grabbed some gauze and began mopping up the blood on his face.

“I figured.” Brennan winced as she used a little too much pressure.

“Why didn’t you mend this on your own?”

He shrugged. His eyes looked a little unfocused, and Calla decided not to push him. “Well, I need to set it, so it doesn’t heal crooked… do you want to try mending it instead?”

Brennan shook his head. “It’s better if you set it.”

Calla tried not to sigh again. Resetting a broken bone wasn’t her favorite thing to do, despite getting plenty of practice in with the infantry and rider cadets back at Basgiath. She used to happily default that responsibility to Lieutenant Colonel Colbersy and her classmates. But seeing as the mender in front of her didn’t move to mend himself, she didn’t have much of a choice. “Alright. Deep breath in for me.”

Brennan inhaled, and Calla quickly began to manipulate the crooked cartilage back into place. His brows furrowed and his lip curled as he cursed quietly. “Godsdamnit.”

Calla was quick to reassure him. “I know, I know. I’m almost done.”

“Fuck,” he breathed as soon as Calla stepped away. The skin underneath his eyes was already beginning to bruise, shades of red blooming outwards from the swollen bridge of his nose.

“Let me grab some ice for the swelling,” she said, slipping out from behind the curtain to the ice chest.

When she came back, Brennan had propped an elbow on his bent knee, resting his forehead in his hand. Part of her wanted to pry and ask what had happened with Xaden, but she knew she shouldn’t, the same way he hadn’t pushed her to share about her dad back in May. I also love how this scene shows her understanding that she shouldn't pry. I think she might have before she knew him better, but now they have a better grasp of each other's boundaries. (or I'm reading too much into this lmao)

Calla stepped closer to him, cupped his jaw with her hand, and gently tilted his head up. Brennan’s unfairly long lashes fluttered on his cheeks as he slowly blinked up at her. She tried to be gentle with the wrapped ice, but he still winced when she placed it on his nose.

“You’re going to have two black eyes,” she observed quietly.

Brennan’s hand came up to encircle her wrist, and she could see where flakes of blood had collected underneath his thumb nail. He didn’t respond to her; he leaned his head into her palm and closing his eyes again.

Calla steadfastly ignored the small flutter deep inside her that the movement triggered."

FLUFF! THIS WAS SO. CUTE. we're going to see how long Calla can ignore that "small flutter".

"She brought it up again that evening as they were getting ready for bed. “Are you sure you don’t want to try mending it?”

The bruising around Brennan’s eyes had darkened into a deep purple, and the ice Calla had applied in the infirmary hadn’t done much for the swelling; the cartilage at the top of his ear was still swollen and misshapen too. She knew he wouldn’t get much sleep tonight if he didn’t do something for his nose.

Brennan sighed as he tugged his shirt overhead, and Calla didn’t even try to stop herself as her eyes took in his bare upper body. Attraction was just that, she reminded herself, it didn’t have to be anything more.  

He climbed onto the bed, running a hand through his curls and making them stick up. “I’m just…” He sighed again, and Calla waited. “I’m not very good at mending myself.”

Calla blinked. Of all the things he could’ve said, she didn’t quite expect that. And why would she? She’d spent enough time working with Brennan in multiple infirmaries, and she knew he was an excellent mender. Lieutenant Colonel Colbersy used to say he’d probably be the best in Navarre less than five years after his graduation.

She sat next to Brennan and crossed her legs. Her knee brushed against his thigh, and she quickly shifted so they didn’t touch. “Well… what’s mending like?”

Brennan ran his fingers over the embroidery on the bedspread between them, brushing against a Tyrrish thistle, langa, and clag-ghuirmean gathered in a thread bouquet. “Powerful,” he said quietly. “When I put my hands on someone, my signet searches for whatever’s wrong in their body. And then I make it right.”

Sometimes, at Basgiath and Athebyne, Calla was envious of that power, the ability to instantly know what was wrong with a patient. But she’d also heard the whispers at Basgiath, about what riders went through to get power like that, and she knew she was never meant to be anything other than a healer.

Still, she was curious. “Does it feel different when you use it on yourself?”

“That’s one way of putting it.” Brennan traced his fingers over the flowers next to their legs before he said, “With other people, my signet has somewhere to go. It has an outlet. But with myself, there’s nowhere for it go. No release of power.” Then he smiled slightly. “Y’know, Naolin used to work with me to figure out why that was. He was a siphon, so he knew all about the concept of an outlet and the flow of power. Gods, he was fucking brilliant.” Brennan’s voice quieted at the end, like that part was only meant for him to hear.

Calla didn’t exactly understand because she’d never had any power from a signet to begin with—she never would.

But Naolin had. And that level of understanding was something she’d never really be able to give Brennan.

She tried not to think about that." Brennan is very much an oblivious idiot. he is hurting poor Calla. she's trying.

“So, theoretically,” she said, adding a lighter note to her voice to try to ease Brennan, “if you were to mend your nose, your power wouldn’t have anywhere to go?”

“Basically.” Brennan huffed out a small laugh and eyed her. “You’re not going to leave this alone, are you?”

She shook her head, smiling slightly.

“Fine.” He turned fully towards her. “Watch as I fail.” There was a slightly bitter note in his voice at the end.

Something inside Calla soured, and she suddenly wanted to tell him that he could stop, that she’d let her curiosity get the best of her and he didn’t need to do this, not for her, but it was too late, because Brennan closed his eyes and lifted a hand to his cheek.

The swelling in his ear and around the bridge of his nose started to go down almost imperceptibly, and she leaned in for a closer look. The purple and red smears underneath his eyes started to fade, and they were almost gone, before Brennan’s brows pinched together and some bruising came back. Not as much as before, and they were farther along in the healing process than they initially were, but the bruises were still bad enough for Calla to know he hadn’t fully mended himself.

She didn’t realize how far she had leaned in, just how close they were, until Brennan opened his eyes, and they stared at each other, their faces only inches apart. For a moment, Calla could barely breath as her chest suddenly grew tight.

“See?” Brennan finally said, breaking the small spell that had briefly settled over them. “I can’t do it.”

Calla leaned back, out of Brennan’s orbit. “It looks better than before,” she offered.

“But it’s not perfect.”

Calla didn’t know what to say about that. this is Brennan revealing little parts of him (even the bad ones) and Calla drinking them in.

love, love, love it.

for the next passage. the one about Brennan taking to the skies with Marbh. I thought it was beautiful because of the way he dealt with grief. and these three lines were ones I wanted to highlight. "Maybe he never would.

Maybe he would feel like this forever.

Or maybe if he stayed in the air long enough, the ache would dull again, and he would remember how he had started to move through life this past year with part of himself missing. I think this was just phenomenal because the first two lines were how I felt when I cope with things, and then the last one was relatable because when I deal with grief (and this is just my personal experience), I revisit certain areas much too often, and my thought process is almost exactly the same as Brennan's: that the ache will somehow dull and I'll be able to keep moving again.

"Riorson House was quiet. It seemed everyone else was either mourning or hiding. Brennan was glad, because the less people who knew his identity he had to face, the better.

Despite not being his mom and losing everything he’d known and loved a year ago, he still felt like he was at fault—even if the only thing he was guilty of was believing his chain of command and being born a Sorrengail.

Calla had squeezed his hand tightly when she saw him as she was leaving their bedroom, and he was returning after his flight. She’d smiled sadly at him, before closing the door softly behind her." Brennan 🥺 he has to deal with so much. they all do.

"Brennan debated crawling back into bed and spending the day there, but he decided to head down into Aretia, to try to mend something and make himself useful. And if Xaden’s voice saying I should kill you for what she did echoed inside his head each time he mended a wall, a chimney, a roof… then it was to the benefit of the people whose lives the General had ruined.

He pushed himself, and his signet, until the sun began to set over the mountain peaks towering over the city, Marbh uncharacteristically hovering inside his mind the entire time.

Dinner was a quiet affair that evening, and Brennan scarfed his meal down quickly, eager to escape from the small crowd of people eating in the hall.

Each time someone’s eyes lingered on him, he worried that Xaden had told someone about his confession, that Calla’s responsibility and their marriage wouldn’t protect him from the wrath of the heir, and he would be forced to leave Aretia and the cause he wanted to dedicate himself to. It was irrational, and Brennan knew Calla would defend him if she needed to, but he couldn’t help the anxiety that crept up the back of his throat.

Between that and the ache in his chest, Brennan desperately craved fresh air by the time he finished eating. His original plan was to head up to the valley above Riorson House, but his feet took him to a staircase at the back of the house.

Brennan decided to climb, up and away from anyone who might see him, until the stone stairs stopped and a steep, wrought-iron spiral staircase began. He figured the staircase would take him up to the roof, and he followed it until it ended, too.

All he sought was a space where he could simply exist in the darkness and pretend, even for just an hour, that the past year hadn’t happened. That he was still Brennan Sorrengail, the man who knew nothing about the state of things beyond Navarre’s borders and hadn’t yet known the loss of Naolin that still ached deep inside of him now.

When he opened the door and stepped onto the roof, he was met with the sweet, herbal scent of churam in the air. One glance at the small defensive turret told him it was Xaden, smoking a joint and gazing at the mountains in the distance like Brennan had planned to do." ......I sense so many similarities.

“How long have you been up here?” Brennan asked, before Xaden could strike a match.

He froze, glancing at Brennan out of the corner of his eye. “Couple of hours. Why?”

“And how many of these have you had in those couple of hours?” Brennan knew Xaden wasn’t his responsibility, but he couldn’t help himself; maybe he was destined to always parent whichever child was closest to him. It wasn't like he had his hands full with his sisters anymore, he bitterly reminded himself.

“Shields.” Marbh gently reminded him, in a way that almost uncharacteristic. “I would prefer to not hear about this… interesting den dynamic you’ve formed tonight.”

“Sorry,” Brennan replied sheepishly. His shields always seemed to be sloppier when he wasn’t completely sober.

“Were you just delaying your lecture, then?” Xaden asked. Brennan didn’t respond right away, and it seemed like Xaden took his silence as a response. “This is going to be my third,” he admitted.

“Tonight?” he asked incredulously. Fucking gods. While Brennan knew today was probably difficult for Xaden too, especially considering who his dad was, it didn’t change the fact that the revolution would suffer if the heir got high and fell off the roof of his own house.

“I took breaks in between,” Xaden argued.

Brennan sighed and dragged a hand over his face. “Have you at least had some water? Or food?”

Xaden didn’t reply, and Brennan leaned over and snatched the joint from Xaden’s hand.

“Hey! What the fuck?”

“I’m not giving this back to you,” Brennan said as he tilted his head towards the unlit roll of churam between his fingers, and continued before Xaden could speak. “I’m sure you know what you’re doing, but if you keep going, the roof is probably going to start moving soon. Go eat and drink something, then go to bed.” Xaden opened his mouth, probably to argue, but Brennan beat him to it. “You’ll thank me in the morning when you don’t wake up with sand in your mouth.”

Xaden rolled his eyes but stood up anyways. Brennan watched carefully as Xaden picked his way across the roofline, ready to jump up if needed.

“Guess I’m heading inside,” Xaden grumbled as he opened the door. But he must not have been too irritated, because he only slightly slammed the door shut, leaving Brennan alone with an unlit roll of churam that he didn’t really feel like smoking alone." major big brother energy. (This is part one. very long. I'm sorry. part two will be here soon (hopefully!) but I didn't want to break your ask box with the sheer amount of text lol)

HI ANON!! no worries because i am the exact same way when it comes to doing things when i say i will (my update schedule is physical proof of this LOL). best of luck on your finals!! you're so close to being done and then you finally get to sleep!!

and bestie i'm gonna be honest i definitely cried reading this because reading all of your in-depth reactions was the BEST. i then proceeded to yap like crazy underneath the cut in response LOL. i look forward to part 2!! 💗

POOR BABY XADEN IS RIGHT!! i hate making him hurt and stuff, but it's necessary backstory stuff 😔 and i definitely could've drawn out the reveal but i also think Brennan's guilt probably would've eaten him alive ddhfhdgf and you're right that it would've made things even worse! and thank you so much!! i felt insane writing that fight scene but i'm so glad it read well 🥰 Brennan definitely fucked up LOL and Xaden is absolutely doing what he does best: shutting himself off. (he definitely does but alas, it's Xaden).

i LOVE that you picked up on the small "husband" detail... like the habituation is getting to Calla heheh. and she does have a better grasp on his boundaries! i feel like a lot of how i write these interactions between them is based off of how previous actions made them feel, and so they both get into a give and take and wanting to return the favor to the other person (this is especially true for Calla because i feel like she struggles a little more with opening up than Brennan does). YES FLUFF!! i love adding little moments of fluff to ease the tension and angst. Calla is definitely a bit (really, a lot) in denial, and it's very fun to work with narratively. AND BRENNAN!!! this man is so oblivious but also he doesn't mean to!! Calla is trying so hard, but Brennan has no clue, so here we are. i love that you're loving this EEEEEE!!!!

the passage where Brennan went flying with Marbh was one of my personal favorites to write. i'm so happy that it's a realistic depiction of grief, but i'm also so sorry that you relate to it ❤️‍🩹 losing Naolin was such a life changing thing for Brennan, and he knows he can keep living after it, but it still hurts. the ache does dull, and it starts to lose its sting, but it's still there, and it can still flare up.

and that scene definitely had major big brother energy!! trying to write his relationship with Xaden is so tricky, but it's also been so fun.

[marvelfansince08love]

“It’s you, you idiot. I’m in love with you!”

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Word count:  3060

Warning: My bad writing I guess 

Prompt 13, “It’s you, you idiot. I’m in love with you!”

A/N: Van my darling, my best gal. I hope you enjoy this. I may have been inspired by your baking attempts with this prompt ngl x

Thank you to @canarypoint​ again you legend x

Also Tumblr really didn’t like me uploading this so I’m sorry if it’s all bunched together. 

Tags: @missmonsters2

“It’s you, you idiot. I’m in love with you”

"Okay, I went to five different stores, nearly killed a guy and almost lost the checklist. However, I managed to find everything you needed to make that dish, Myshka" Nat says, rushing through the kitchen; both hands full of bags filled with ingredients.  I wipe the bead of sweat from between my brow and sigh in relief, before leaning towards her and planting a quick kiss to her cheek. 

"You are the best assassin and friend a girl could ask for" Nat fakes disgust as she wipes at her cheek. 

"Yeah, yeah if I didn't like the idea of you trying to woo her so much. You'd be joining the guy at the store" she grumbles while helping me remove all the ingredients from the bags. We both make quick work at preparing the famous Chicken Paprikash dish and with Nat's amazing abilities at being able to read almost every language it almost seemed effortless. 

If we both weren't so bad at cooking.

 I keep an eye on the time, anticipating her arrival home. Wanda, Steve, Bucky and Sam had been sent on an undercover mission almost two weeks ago, the whole thing had been kept under the radar with only a few of us in the know. 

"You think we have enough time, Nat?" 

"Of course, Sam messaged me about half an hour ago. They'll be back in 2 hours that gives us plenty of time to cook this dish and help build up your courage to finally confess your undying love for our, Malen'kaya Ved'ma (little witch). Now stop pacing around, you're making me dizzy" 

Since joining the Avengers over a year ago, I've gotten to know each of them very well, already knowing Natasha and Clint from our Shield days it was an easy transition into the great band of supers, that was until I met Wanda Maximoff. Her sparkling hazel eyes and long chestnut hair framing her beautiful face with that shy smile had me a goner from the moment I laid my eyes on her. After a few weeks of being with the team every day for training and team-bonding sessions, the more I realised how much fun and carefree Wanda could be. After speaking to Clint one drunken night about our blossoming friendship outside of the team buildings and training I was dumbfounded by how shocked he was to hear about that side of Wanda which they all only catch small glimpses off. According to Clint after losing her brother she was an empty shell of herself just moving through life as if it was a chore and not a gift to walk this earth. 

I guess she just needed a reason to live again. 

After that revelation I continued to spend time with her alone, I asked more about her and her life in Sokovia, her face lighting up talking about her family and all the traditions they would follow each year even if her and Pietro weren't overly fond of them. Some nights there were tears as she spoke fondly of her brother and her parents no matter how briefly they were mentioned. She would laugh at all the stories I would tell her about our shield adventures both on mission and around the base, her mouth wide and eyes bright with mischief as I relay the story about how me and Nat unscrewed the screws from one of the vents just enough for Clint to fall through right above Fury's office while he was in a meeting with the council. Since she's been away and radio silent, I've never felt so lost even with Natasha around trying her best to cheer me up and letting me win more sparring matches than ever before. 

I take a deep breath in and settle my nerves before helping Nat continue to season the chicken.

 "Okay so it says that we have to boil the rice in a non-stick pan? How do we tell the difference?" I look at her dumbfounded.

"For someone who's supposed to be the world’s most smartest, most deadliest assassin you sure are dumb" I state, I can feel her eyes burning into me. If looks could kill... 

"Do you want my help or not?" 

"No, no I need your help. Thank you Natalia" I say sweetly, smiling innocently at her. She rolls her eyes and continues with the rice. 

Once everything is in the cooker and pan, we retreat to the kitchen island, a bottle of beer in hand as we talk about anything and everything. After some time had passed, I'm interrupted by Nat's hand indicating for me to stop talking as she sniffs at the air. 

"What is that god awful smell?" 

My eyes widen in fear as I start to notice the smoke coming from the pan. I race to grab the fire extinguisher while Nat tries desperately to turn everything off and open the kitchen window. I quickly release the white foam over the pan cutting the small fire off,  as I step back my foot slips slightly on the wet floor, sending me crashing to the floor but not before I manage to hit Nat square in the face with the foam. I groan slightly at my now bruised ass and tenderly sit up, leaning against the counter behind me.We both sit in silence for a moment before bursting into laughter, Nat joining me on the floor, so we're shoulder to shoulder. 

"Let's agree to never cook again".

 "Agreed" 

"God damn it, look at my shirt it’s ruined! I can't confess anything to her looking like this! She'd think I'm crazy!" I quickly unbuttoned my shirt revealing a thin, white tank top underneath. 

"What the hell happened here?" The most angelic voice exclaims by the kitchen doorway, our eyes widen as we both come to the same conclusion. 

She's back. Early.

I quickly scramble to my feet and try to adjust myself accordingly before sending her a beaming smile which quickly turns in a worrying frown after taking in her tired complexion, her hazel eyes no longer holding that bright twinkle whenever she smiles. A large cut visible across her right eyebrow and Sam standing behind her not looking any better. 

"Oh my god, Wanda!" I race forward and delicately place my hands on either side of her face, my eyes scanning every inch of skin. She winces slightly before grasping my forearms gently and removing them away from her face. 

"Oh Sam, how are you? You want me to help clean up that cut, maybe get you snack" I hear Sam mutter behind us rhetorically.I roll my eyes in good nature as Nat laughs behind me. 

"I'm okay, Lumina mea (my light). You should see the other guy" she attempts a small grin before casting her eyes over to the mess that is the kitchen and Nat quietly trying to salvage the meal, with no real joy. I blush at hearing her native tongue slip through at the end of her sentence even if I don't understand the meaning behind the saying. 

"Again, I'll ask, what the hell happened in here and why can I smell paprika?" Her cute button nose scrunches adorably as she takes in my crumbled-up shirt and Nat's wet face. 

"Oh, well we uh.. decided to try and cook a meal for you guys. We know the mission was rough and wanted to surprise you all, we kind of got carried away" I grimace at my cowardly response, I can feel the disappointment in waves from Natasha's direction. 

Okay so I'm not ready to come out with it yet, sue me. 

"Oh, you could have waited until I got back and asked me to help. You know how much I love to make paprikash"I can see the hurt in her eyes even though she tries to brush it off with a small smile. She knows what a bad cook Nat is and how much she loves cooking for you both after a rough mission. 

Great, you've also offended her.

Good going Y/N. 

There's an awkward silence between the four of us before Wanda clears her throat and takes a step back towards the entrance way. 

"I'm gonna go and get cleaned up, I'll see you both at the party tonight, yes?" She addressed us both, but her eyes stayed locked on mine. I blush slightly at the thought of her wanting my company. 

Please she was addressing you both Y/N, as if you would ever stand a chance.

 "Of course, Wanda, we wouldn't miss it" Nat answers for us as I continue to stare at her. I quickly avert my eyes and nod in acknowledgement. 

"We'll be there" 

Once she leaves a dry towel hits me square in the chest, I instantly catch it while looking up in the direction of the thrower. 

"Come on lover girl, let's clean this mess up and order a take away. I'm starving. Also, Sam "we'll be there in two hours" can you not map out a timescale" 

"Listen I lost a lot of blood tryna get out of that place, forgive me please" he grumbles jokingly as he sulks out of the room, mumbling about never getting any attention for how badass he is. 

*** 

A few hours pass by and before I know it, I'm making the final touches to my makeup. A loud knock echoes in the room before Nat swings it wide open and struts in looking like a red-headed goddess. Her dark green off the shoulder dress clinging to her in all the right places. With one more stroke of my mascara brush I turn and face my best friend with a grin. 

"You ready?" 

"If you need me tonight, I'll be behind the bar, slowly drinking my boredom away" "Hey, am I such bad company?!" 

"Well youuuu, missy is going to charm your way into Maximoff’s pants. Therefore, you will be too busy to entertain me tonight, Myshka" 

"Nat, I don't think tonight is the right time, you saw how she looked in the kitchen today. She doesn't need me pestering her all night" 

"Actually, it's the perfect time! Go an' comfort her and if you manage to slip in that you love her then great!" I roll my eyes in good nature before making my way to my door. 

"Come on, Romanoff. I need a drink" 

*** 

The party is too loud and overly crowded with people none of us really know with drinks flowing around every part of the room. 

"Why does he always feel the need to throw a party every time we finish a mission?" 

"Would he be Tony if he didn't? You gotta give him credit though this party is insane" Nat murmurs beside me, making me chuckle in agreement. 

My eyes are already scanning for the beautiful brunette avenger. Nat notices me searching and shoves me forward slightly. 

"Go find her, I'll be by the bar" with one last shove, I'm left by myself looking out into the crowd. 

My eyes finally land on the brown-haired beauty, I bite my lip as I take in her form. A long black flowy dress falls just past her knees with the straps of the dress sitting comfortably just off the shoulder, giving me a great view of her cleavage. Her hair hangs curled and loose over her shoulders, her red lipstick perfectly in place. 

God she's beautiful. 

As I continue to take her in, I notice an unfamiliar arm resting around her waist. I look up to identify the persons whose arm it is and my heart stops as I witness this man lean his mouth to her ear and whisper some bullshit that makes her laugh out, he pulls back clearly satisfied with the response he got from her. As if sensing a presence her eyes turn and rest upon me, a soft smile forming on those red lips. I quickly drop my gaze and turn away from her, heading straight to the bar; trying hard to blend into the crowd.

 "Why the sour face?" Nat questions as she instantly hands me a bottle from behind the bar. 

"You didn't tell me she was seeing someone" I sulk to her before taking a big gulp from the bottle, cringing slightly at the bitter taste. Nat's eyebrows pinch together as if confused by my statement. She leans forward slightly over the bar to peer over my shoulder to take a good look at Wanda and the mystery man. 

"Who? Matthews? Please that guy wishes he could have her. She's just being polite Y/N" Nat tries to reassure me, but I can't seem to remove the image out of my head. 

"It's not like I stood a chance anyway" I grumble grabbing the vodka shot from Nats hand and letting the burning liquid flow down my throat. After a few hours of drinking with Nat; who’s now joined me on the other side of the bar, I start to feel the effects of the alcohol hit me as I laugh out loud from the stupid stories Nat seems to be sharing. Any thoughts of Wanda and her mystery guy fading into the background of my mind. 

Or that's what I keep telling myself. 

In my daze, I quickly lose my balance on the bar stool but before I could hit the floor, I feel a familiar strong arm wrap itself around me, steadying me on the stool. 

"Careful Myshka, you'll end up on your ass" Nat teases as I start to lean heavily against her, sleep fighting to take over. 

"Also, just to let you know Maximoff has been looking over here all night and throwing daggers at me, similar to the one she's throwing right now" Nat says clearly amused at the concept. She leans herself further towards me and traces her finger up and down my arm slightly, my eyes widen in surprise before she leans in and whispers: 

"Just got with it" 

Before I have a chance to question her, I feel a warm body pressed into my back. I gasp slightly at the faint smell of cherries and forest, the smell consuming my senses. I close my eyes briefly knowing that smell all too well. Her lips brush slightly against my ear, making me shiver. 

"Can I talk to you in private, Y/N" I barely have time to nod before her arm is wrapping tightly around me and escorting away from Natasha and out of the room. Once we are alone, she releases her hold on me and starts to pace in front of me, her dress sway slightly with each turn. I stand watching her waiting for her to gather her thoughts, I bite my lip anxiously debating whether to make the first move. She stops suddenly and takes a deep breath in before releasing it into the open air and turning to look at me with a heartbroken expression. 

"You've been avoiding me all night" I gape at her forwardness before replying defensively: 

"No, I haven't, maybe you've been a little preoccupied with prince charming on steroids in there to notice me at all!" She frowns slightly, almost bashfully.

"You mean Matthews? Y/N that guy has a brain of a mouse. I was simply being polite. Anyway, you are one to talk! Are you and Nat ever going to go public because the way shes’s being all handsy with you tonight, you may as well let everyone know!" Now it's my turn to gape at her in shock becoming slightly annoyed.

 I take a step towards her slightly wanting to keep her full attention on me as I feel the word vomit slowly creeping its way up my throat.

"Are you being serious right now?! Me and Nat are best friends that's never even been a thought! Are you so blind to see Wanda?! You think I'd go and pick up your favourite flowers every Thursday even though they make my nose itch and makes me sneeze because I thought they'd brighten up your bedroom? You have plants covering every window sill! You think I'd attempt to cook a dish that I can barely understand let alone cook and make a complete mess of it for just anyone?! Wanda you are always in my thoughts every day, the past two weeks have been torturing for me wondering when you'd be home.  I missed you all the damn time! I missed our nights in where it was just the two of us watching crap reality television because even though we make fun of it we both secretly love the drama" She stares at me in shock, her lip twitching into a smile ever so slightly at the last part of my confession. 

Her silence clearly an invitation for me to continue: 

"But you really want to know what I missed about those nights while you've been gone. I missed watching your beautiful face scrunch up slightly as you slowly doze off with your head falling onto my shoulder. I would stay sitting in that upright position for hours if it meant keeping you like that, close to me. Wanda there could never be a me and Nat... you wanna know why? It's you, you idiot. I'm in love with you!" 

Her emerald green eyes drop to the floor, suddenly finding it very interesting before a wide smile settles on her red lips and her eyes slowly make their way to meeting mine. 

“You love me?” 

“Yes I love you, you idiot” I whisper, shuffling slightly feeling uncomfortable and exposed with my feelings. 

Before I can turn and hide away from my embarrassing confession, I feel warm, soft lips press hard against my own, the taste of vanilla chapstick lingers on my lips as I brush my tongue gently against her bottom lip making her gasp, granting me access. Our tongues clash, both fighting for dominance before pulling away slightly, my teeth catching her bottom lip gently and tugging at the soft skin softly before letting go with a small pop. 

"If I'm an idiot, I'll be an idiot who’s in love with you too" she whispers breathlessly into the open air between us, her forehead resting gently against my own. 

I smile.  

[k-liight]

moar batshit crazy dreams lmao

okay so I had a LOT of crazy bullshit happen in my dreams last night and I gotta write it down before I forget it all because I remember a lot aksdklehgskf;sl the entire Lupin squad plus Zenigata was there... and so was Tom Holland, for some reason. XD"

so at first the gang and I were somehow lured into this trap where we were inside this force field and if we couldn't get out in 24 hours it'd, y'know... *gestures to throat* and for some reason solving the puzzle to get out involved digging into Zenigata's childhood, and apparently he was actually a little shit as a kid before shaping up sometime in his teen years lmao. somehow we were able to escape, I don't actually remember how, but once we did Goemon went absolutely HAM on the people responsible for trapping us, especially we found out they were being uhh, not very nice to innocent children. he got beat up pretty badly but the babies were saved ;w;

and that was just the pregame lmfao, the main dream started out with me walking past this castle and immediately wanting to see if it was open four tourism, so I kinda walked up, peeked in, and the place was absolutely BUSTLING. apparently the queen who owned and lived in it had most of it double as a recreation center to the public and everyone thought she was really sweet. I did too, at first, because she personally gave me a tour of the castle and even showed me her room and everything. everything in the castle was elaborate and intricate and beautiful, and I remember giving her requested advice on how to adjust the lighting in her suite so that it'd look less old-fashioned and more seductive even though she was in her mid-sixties lmao (still not looking that bad though XD)

then, by some crazy omniscience that often happens in dreams, I was able to witness the queen sleeping in her suite long after the castle was closed for the night. she somehow woke up in the middle of the night only to find that her bedroom had completely inversed it's color scheme somehow and all her floral paintings and Romanesque statues had turned demonic. she was scared shitless and went to see if the rest of the castle had changed- and it had. the walls and ceiling of the ballroom were completely black and everything else was glowing eerie colors, and all the other rooms seemed to haunt her just the same. she was too frightened to go back to sleep, and when daylight came everything returned back to normal but she was furious. the castle was open to the public again, and she asked all her employees if they had fucked around with the lights in the middle of the night without her permission, but nobody knew. I was visiting the castle again, but hiding from her because I was scared that she'd think I'd inadvertedly caused the mishap from that night. she got so mad that she ordered everything shut down until shit was figured out. for some reason, she also ordered her employees to pull out all the stops in investigating but refused to pay them shit until the mystery was solved or someone fessed up. they were pissed and threatened to quit, so there was a big arguement. in the midst of this chaos, Tom Holland casually strutted up the the stairs from the first floor below to the second, and somehow he seemed to know I was in danger so he discreetly gestured for me to come follow him. I stayed close behind him as he acted as casually as possible so to not look suspicious, and apparently he was a frequent visitor to this castle as he knew where everything was. for some reason he said the best idea was to go up to the third floor ballet studio, so we snuck up the grand stairs, but when we got there the doors to the studio were locked so we were stuck in the foyer. and then we heard the sound of angry guards approaching. oh dear. luckily just outside the foyer was a balcony, and the other floors had balconies directly below, so we sneaked out and climbed over the railing, lowering ourselves onto the balcony below until we reached the ground. we hid underneath the lowermost balcony until we were sure the queen and her guards had left the lookout from which we escaped. after that we made a run for it through the snow, but somehow we lost our shoes? so we were forced to run through cold snow in just our socks until we reached a sloping street. that's when we realized the guards had seen us run away somehow. thankfully for us, we were able to literally slide down the hill on our bellies not only for a quicker escape but also to keep our feet from getting any wetter. the good news was that Tom had parked his car not too far down the hill. the bad news was... he couldn't find it. he insisted that he parked it down the hill but all he saw was mediocre cheap cars and not his own. with the guards still chasing us, we were somehow able to slide through the streets and winded around to lose the guards. eventually it worked, and we stopped at this old store that just so happened to have both shoes and hand and foot warmers. the second we arrived suddenly Tom Holland was no longer Tom Holland but now my dear Goemon, and because this was already a batshit-crazy dream I didn't even think twice about the change lmao. (I was just happy to see Goemon ngl LOL.) he went into the shop- dunno why I didn't go in with him- and he came out with old sneakers big enough for me to fit some foot-warmers inside. they were actually a little loose at first, but I was able to get them on eventually lol.

after that we were off, but instead of running away from the castle more, we went back to it, because apparently Goemon wanted to fuck shit up with his Zantetsuken lmao. so he charged right in, me following close behind him, and just went completely ham, going straight through shit and cutting everything in his way. whether he was getting revenge on the queen for treating me badly or just wanted to cause mass destruction, I'm not sure lmao. at some point we ran into some guards who also had swords, but in true Goemon fashion, he kicked their asses and had them running for their lives after he sliced their own swords clean off. making one last cut through the back doors, he put an arm around me and just... casually strutted out of the castle rather than running away more lmao. at first I was like oh shit what if more guards come after us but I felt safe with him by my side, nothing to worry about X3 but then we heard ol' Zenigata yelling for us but Goemon just straight-up ignored him... and then I woke up. yeah, it was pretty crazy shit XD"