#i went back to this place last week to officially start but it was cloudy and everything looked muddled

[mikimeiko]

It's 12 photos 1 year time!

January

[1-800-local-slut]

The Scientist Epilogue part 1

I dropped my laptop on my foot while writing this and let out a scream of curses. :) I hope you guys enjoy this!

Warnings: pregnancy, mentions of kinky sex, just Poe being madly in love with you but what else is new? Crying, mentions of unprotected sex.

Pairings: Poe Dameron x Shy!Black!Scientist!Fem!Reader

Series Masterlist

Next part <3

______________________________________________________________

The day came and went faster than she wanted. But it was official. After a small, tear filled ceremony, she was now Mrs. Dameron. Officially. 

After a heavy session including spanking, biting, her small hands wrapping around her husband's neck, his large hands returning the favor a round later, the Sun began to rise. The spent couple separated, took a nice long shower which resulted in tender shower sex. Then another round after they left the shower and said left a large damp spot on their bed. Now they were too tired to even think of undressing each other. Staring at her ring as she sat in Poe’s lap, he blankly stared out the window of their hotel and admired the cloudy sky. 

After their wedding a week and a half ago, the couple was now on the last day of their honeymoon. The thought of returning to work made the Scientist shudder in irritation. She didn’t want to go back to work, she wanted to sit with her husband overlooking the cloudy world for the rest of their days together. The realization that the two would now spend forever together made the new bride’s face warm. 

But since the couple took every second of night  to themselves. When they weren’t enjoying Bespin’s resources during the day, they were enjoying each other's resources. Poe was enjoying slamming into her, calling her his slutty wife, and most of all giving her creampies where pregnancy would be the start to the next chapter of their lives instead of a terrifying outcome. She was deeply enjoying riding him like there was no tomorrow, holding his head in place while he ate her out with a frightening enthusiasm. His tan hands smacked her ass while she had her hands wrapped around his neck and he moaned her name with breathy whimpers. Thinking about it made her wet. That and looking at her handsome and coveted husband.

She never thought the most wanted man in the resistance would be hers. But he was and part of her (a very big part of her) was smug about it. Not just because she was incredibly proud of Poe for each and everything he's accomplished but because the man was hers. No one could take that from him. No one could take him from her. Skanks be damned, he was hers and she was his. They took the vows to prove it, she had his mothers ring secured around her finger to prove it. 

“What’s on your mind beautiful?” Poe inquired, pressing a kiss to her temple. With a smile that shone as bright as the Sun that beamed down on them, she ran her fingers through his loose curls. 

“Nothing, just thinking about how handsome you are.” she replied. Truth. Something else she swore to uphold in aforementioned vows. Poe chuckled the hearty laugh she adored. 

“You flatter me. I hate that we leave today.” A glum sigh left Poe’s lips, which resulted in him receiving a kiss pressed to his lips. He smiled, because when it came to her husband all it took from her was a kiss for him to immediately feel 10x better. With a sympathetic smile she took his face into her loving hands. 

“I hate it too. But you know what baby?” Brown eyes met brown eyes and for a second she got a flash of a pair of brown eyed babies with her skin town, Poe’s hypnotic eyes and full lips. But she’d make that a reality with Poe soon enough, seeing as he told her about his desire for children. Well five children but after a long negotiation, they settled on two. Three if it truly came to it.

“When we get back, we can christen our bed as a married couple.” Poe smirked at this, that same smirk he had last night when he was looking down at her overstimulated body. 

“Well what’s the point in sitting around here? You’re packed, I’m packed and I can fly you home right now.” With his usually wolfish grin, she held his face and pressed their foreheads together, giving him a matching smile.

“Well fuck me then, let’s get home.”

⭐⭐⭐

Two days. The couple returned two days ago. After a busy day of unpacking, starting laundry, and putting away wedding gifts (and planning revenge on someone who gifted them knives) they were ready to head back to Bespin. Now they were enjoying some well earned time together before returning to work the next day.

“When I go back to work tomorrow, do you think I should get into a fist fight and get suspended?” Poe asked his wife who was snuggled into his side on their new bed. A laugh fled from her full lips, as she felt his large hands fidgeting with her slick ponytail. His fingers ran over her slicked down edges and his other hand made small coils in the back of her hair.

“Well if you get suspended, you won’t end up with me as your punishment baby.” With a content exhale she rolled her body closer to his, their naked forms pressed up against each other. Her back pressed into his smooth chest.

“Spending time with my wife? Oh that would just be dreadful, I wouldn’t be able to stand it.” Her face muscles were starting to hurt, seeing how she hadn’t stopped smiling since the moment they both said ‘I do’. 

“You’re gonna hurt my feelings, my love.” And even though she couldn’t see him she could see the smile on his face when she reached for the white bonnet she had been gifted and slipped it on over her head.  Poe playfully nipped her in her neck, and she responded with a pinch.

This feeling of joy and peace that settled over her heart was permanent. It had to be. From being a recluse who only had her two friends, she always felt a sense of loneliness and how could she not when watching them consistently suck face? But Poe changed that. Poe showed her that people were willing to be there for her. People that she hadn’t known for most of her adult life or had to be very slowly introduced too like Forian. People like Poe who had no ulterior motives other than kindness. Poe who came into her life like a star that would never burn out.

Wrapping his arms tighter around her waist, like he was scared she might jump up and run away from him. Poe too had a seemingly permanent smile on his face since their wedding. 

“I love you baby.” He sighed.

“I love you too.”

⭐⭐⭐

“Okay, let me ask you something.” Well, it was her first day back. After giving Poe’s ass a sharp slap for goodluck, she was starting to think she should’ve taken a squeeze to give herself a better chance. Now she was sitting at her desk, nails pinching the bridge of her nose.

“So you SAW the reactor on the edge of the desk, figured it wouldn’t fall and break, and now it’s broken…and you tried to tape it back together?” The woman in front of her nodded a sheepish yes. The Scientist let out a deep sigh and ran her hand down her face, a habit she developed in his relationship with Poe. She needed him badly right now. In fact if anyone could save the woman before her it was Poe. 

“You’re not very smart.” With a frown, she watched the woman flinch before Krista stepped in.

“Let’s just see what we can do. Take today off, meet with Ms. Minnau early tomorrow morning.” With another sheepish nod, the woman muttered another apology and quickly escaped the office. 

“Now why would you tell that woman she’s stupid?” Krista asked while she removed her glasses and the Scientist sighed loudly and lifted her arms above her chair. She groaned and twirled around in her seat.

“Well if she isn’t smart then she must be stupid. How are you a scientist, a physicist at that, you see one of our most important projects on the edge of the table YOU left it on and then it dropped and you’re surprised? Fucking stupid. I hope Merca kicks her in her mouth tomorrow.” Krista opened her mouth to respond but was silenced by a hand being lifted in front of her face. Krista had been working with her for a minute now, and while she was not Poe she was something. 

“Look, Merca will handle her tomorrow, it’s not our issue. What did we talk about?” Krista asked while pinning her orange hair up into a bun.

“Once it leaves this office,” Krista motioned for the Scientist to finish with her. Krista was an optimist, she often encouraged the Scientist to quit her complaining, which bummed her out considering complaining was how she coped. Well fuck, may as well give it a try. 

“It’s not our problem.” They finished the mantra together and Krista was right. The sentence already had the tension rolling out of her body. 

“Well look on the brightside, it’s quitting time.” and that was all it took. Quitting time? More like the best time of the day. She shot up from her desk with violent speed and her chair shot back, slamming into the wall. Krista’ eyes went wide as her boss began moving with urgency, like she just got shot or something.

“Well, I think you can manage locking up tonight.” She proclaimed with a wide grin, the first time she smiled today since slapping Poe’s ass that morning. It was time for her to get back to where she belonged. Her bed with her husband. With her bag in one hand and her empty tea cup that Poe made for her this morning she sprinted from her office with speed so fast you would’ve thought she was a passing animal.

⭐⭐⭐

“Ohhhh he’s a moron.” The couple was washing up dishes from their packed lunches that day while the next day's meal simmered on the stove.  Poe was now telling her about his day, after she flew into their room and planted a kiss onto his cheek. This was how she wanted the rest of their days spent. Just doing the simple things together. Washing dishes, venting about how stupid people were, the little things really.

“So he damn near flies into the ground, and Jessica obviously has to grab the wheel from him. This is why I think before we just let anyone pilot we need to see if they can ride a bike! With my own two eyes I need to witness them on a bike without dropping over.” Reaching over, he turned off the stove and his wife laughed beside him.

While she splashed the water off her hands, Poe took the chance to really  admire her features like he’s done a million times. But he’d never get sick of her face. It wasn’t possible. She stirred the soup around and slurped it off the spoon. With a pleased hum, her face lit up.  

“I can’t ride a bike my love.” Poe stopped immediately and she swallowed seeing the mistake she made. He would never let that go. His head turned towards hers slowly and she 

“What do you mean? Do you mean you haven’t ridden one in a while? Like since you were a kid?” He asked while slowly pulling two of their bowls from the pantry with two saucers.

“No…I never learned.” Silence.

“So you’ll learn when I get the chance. It’s decided, I’m going to teach you how to ride a bike.” He was determined, watching his wife ladle soup into the two bowls and pulling two rolls of bread out and onto the side of the saucers. Her shoulders sagged. 

“Why?” She whined. She was personally never interested in any physical activities other than fucking, working out and MMA.

With a hefty groan, she felt strong hands grip her shoulders and then peck her cheek. 

“I’ve never needed to ride a bike.” With a scoff she sat down at the table with him, dipped her roll into her soup and bit in.

“Look, look, one day when you're walking somewhere you’re going to wish you had a bike instead.” She raised an eyebrow and watched him take a sip of his soup.

“I don’t go outside.” 

“You will when I teach you how to ride a bike. Great soup baby.” With a playful eye roll she scoffed and ate more soup.

⭐⭐⭐

Two years of wedded bliss had passed. Two years of pure love and joy and comfort. Four years ago she was in her office minding her business when her future husband was given to her on a silver platter. Two years ago she was sitting on a swinging bench on her honeymoon. Three hours ago she was holding a pregnancy that showed positive. She stared at the other four on the counter top. All positive.

Three hours ago she was sitting with her husband on the bathroom floor both trying not to panic. Now she was laying on her side in bed, dressed in one of her silk nightgowns that she’ll soon outgrow. Poe was absentmindedly playing with her fingers  and she was laying on his arm. Would she be able to do that in a few months?

“What’s on your mind beautiful?” Poe whispered, his voice slightly raspy. He left one hand laying softly over her stomach. Normal but now the knowledge of what was in her stomach made her want to vomit in excitement and fear.

It wasn’t like they were too young. She was only 30, Poe was 36. Perfect ages. They had been married for two years with little to no arguments. Now they were pregnant and going to have their own baby. A baby? A girl or a boy? They had amazing sex, and did everything correct. Dating, then marriage, and a baby was the next step. They talked about a baby. They both wanted a baby. But why was she so scared? Was she not ready? Her brain swirled in disarray and she was chewing on her lip so hard she could've chewed her own lips off.

“Baby?” The nickname did it for her. With a distressed screech, Poe’s eyes widened at the noise.

“Oh fuck, I’m not ready! I had a drink last week. What if I gave our baby fetal alcohol syndrome? What if I have an abnormally large stomach? What if I look ugly pregnant? What are we going to name it? Should I be calling it ‘it’? Will you still love me if I get fat? What if I'm a bad mom?” She rambled off her list of fears to her wide-eyed husband. 

Eventually she ran out of steam and now twisted her ring around on her finger. She felt the silver pull against her skin as she blinked back hot tears. Soon Poe let out a soft laugh.

“Honey…you remember those vows we took two years ago?” she nodded with a small hiccup while she wiped her eyes at his words.

“I remember them. In those vows I promised to be here for you no matter what, thick or thin. You putting on some baby weight isn’t gonna change that, I swear. You’re the most loving, caring, sweet woman I’ve ever met. Nothing is gonna happen that we can’t handle. And for all we know you could be a day along. How about this, tomorrow we both take lunch and we go to the med bay to sort this out?” He always knew just what to say. She loved that about him.

“Okay….okay. You’re right. It’ll be okay.” She muttered through tears and Poe laughed at her distressed expression, planting a kiss on the crown of her head. 

“Let’s get some shut eye. Goodnight, beautiful.” He whispered while reaching across and turning off the lamp. She was certain he was petrified, but he didn’t show it to help keep her sane. When he did show it, she’d be right there to comfort him the way he did for her. Whatever happened, they’d handle it the way they always had. Supporting one another. 

“Goodnight my love.” And she rolled into his arms, chest against his, knowing in the coming months this would be impossible. But that didn’t matter, because no matter what he’d still be right there next to her.

[travisjackson]

Travis watched her spin around and took her hand before she moved closer. "It was all worth it." He smiled down at her and it only increased as she kissed his cheek. "You look amazing." He said as she moved back before nodding at her words. "Yes. Let's." He gave her hand a squeeze before he led them towards the chapel so they could go get married.

It all went like any other wedding would. Walking down the aisle, the officiant introducing them even though only Andrew and Julieta were in attendance, and then it came down to the vows. Travis was going first and he swallowed as he held Lili's hands and stared into her eyes. "Lili, for the last few years, you have been my rock. As friends, I let you in as we shared the pain of losing the ones we loved and helped each other navigate through it one day at a time. As the days passed, just knowing you brought in so much sunlight in my mostly cloudy life and I caught myself smiling again. Breathing again. I found myself quickly stealing glances of you during our group meetings and our nights together just in each other's company were my favorite. It was under the stars last summer that I realized just how much I loved you as more than just my best friend and I wanted to spend every moment of my life with you. And after our first kiss and weeks of avoiding each other, we came back together and started this relationship." He paused for a moment as tears lined his eyes. After swallowing and taking a breath, Travis continued.

"At the start of this year, I asked you to be my wife and then things got derailed." He moved one hand from hers and placed it on her bump. "But this little girl, our Bella May, brought us back together as proof that we belong together. You are my soulmate, Liliana Themis Santos. My soul knew it the second I met you and my entire being knows it now. I cannot wait to wake up every single day for the rest of our lives next to you as husband and wife." @lilianaxjackson

From the moment Andrew nodded at her arrival, she could feel her heart beating out of her chest, frantic to be reunited with his, even their little Bella May felt something was up, kicking every other minute, moving about sending flutters in her belly. At his words she let out a single laugh, giving him a flourish as she spun around to show her entire get up. "And that for a few hours of preparation time." She cracked a joke before stepping closer, hand held in his, the other smoothing out the front of his tuxedo before placing it against his cheek. "So handsome." Moving on the tip of her toes, she placed a kiss on his opposite cheek, wanting to save their next kiss for when they were finally told they could. "Lets get married." @travisjackson

[glitterge1pen]

Put A Basket On My Bike

Kyōtani Kentarou x reader, sfw, fluff, word count 3,039

Your apartment complex was composed of seven buildings. Each building was made of two towers that went ten floors up. The two towers were connected by big concrete stairs that had green iron railing. A large platform would connect two apartments before the stairs took you to another floor. 

Since the only thing that concealed the stairs from the outside was the railing most of the building was exposed. The sun shone endlessly and lots of people kept plants out on the space outside their doors. You had made a good choice moving here. But when you first moved in you had made one crucial mistake.

You were nice to the neighborhood kids.

You had been moving the last of your boxes into the front hall of your new apartment when three kids came bounding up the stairs. Their footsteps echoed in the labyrinth of stairs.

“Hey! Are you the one who just moved in? The new person?”

“It's rude to just say stuff, you to have to introduce us”

“Right!”

The most enthusiastic of the bunch was Flowerpot. The other stated their name was Poprocks and Flowerpot pointed to Sleep, who said nothing.

“Are those your real names?”

You asked with a sly smile.

“No! Of course not, what are you stupid?”

“Thats rude”

“Right, sorry”

Flowerpot explained that their nicknames were two summers old and that they had chosen names based on their absolute favorite things. You laughed.

“Your favorite thing ever is a flowerpot?”

“Not a flower pot, all flower pots!”

“You can't yell it makes you sound mean”

Flowerpot and Poprocks bickered and argued like this some more. They only stopped when the quiet Sleep spoke up.

“Can we play here?”

“Yeah can we?”

Poprocks reiterated.

“The lady that lived here before you was so mean, she never let us play up here! No one lets us play anywhere, Mad Dog is the only person who doesn't care! And he's mean to!”

You figured that Mad Dog was your across the hall neighbor.

“Does everyone who lives here have nicknames?”

“Mad Dog came with the nickname it's different.”

Flowerpot said, his tiny arms flinging up in the air as he ranted.

“If he lets you guys play out here why did you call him mean?”

Poprocks jumped onto Flowerpots shoulders, excited to speak.

“Because he uses bad words, he never says good morning or smiles at anyone and he always plays his music too late at night!”

She seemed pleased with the list of your neighbors' atrocities and once again you could only laugh.

“Okay, if my neighbor over there doesn't care that you guys mess around out here neither do I”

That first spring in your apartment was filled with various elementary school kids shooting nerf guns, fighting with pinecones, petty arguements and a rare homework session. Other kids from different buildings would often flock to your floor as well. You didn't know most of these ones, but occasionally when Flowerpot, Poprocks, and Sleep would speak to you and talk about apartment complex drama. You were able to differentiate with ‘the kid who always wants to be Mikey when you guys play Ninja turtles’ or ‘the kid who brings over water guns’ and so on.

You left out a bowl of candy for the kids and on your way out for the day you usually ran into Sleep’s mom, who would thank you for letting the kids “make a mess in front of your house” before waving you off.

Besides the pleasant atmosphere of your new home, there was also Kyotani.

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　　

The first time you saw Kyotnai was two days after being officially moved in. He was bringing up his groceries and looked tired so you only waved to him before heading inside your own place. You found that Poprocks was right. Sometime around 11:30 Kyotnai started listening to music. Loud. So loud. You were across the hall and could feel the vibrations of the music. The people below him must be pissed. You were pissed actually.

The next morning when you saw him pulling a bike over his shoulders on his way down the stairs you stopped him.

“Hi, I just moved in a couple days ago,”

You trailed off, he was staring so intensely. You turned away, forgetting where you were going with this conversation beyond the simple introduction. After telling him your name you expected him to introduce himself. He just kept looking at you, eyebrows creased, head tilted up to look at you as you were two steps above him. A panic settled in over you. Your mind scrambled for anything to grasp to make this less awkward.

“Those kids who play out here called you Mad Dog-”

“My name is Kyotani.”

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　

After the terrible first meeting you had with your neighbor you did your best to avoid him. You didn't want to deal with whatever it was that had transpired between you two. Well actually, nothing had transpired between you. Much to your surprise that was just how Kyotani was.

When he went to pick up his mail from the front office, he would shoulder check anyone who was standing too close to his mailbox. When he left to go somewhere on his bike he rode in the middle of the parking lot, once you had watched him turn onto the street and when a car almost hit him he just flipped them off.

You couldn't decide if he was arrogant, always running late and that's why he came off as rude, or if he just didn't care. Maybe it was all three. For about two weeks you waited for him to leave first in the mornings and put your headphones on when the music from across the hall got too loud.

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　

You had gotten home unexpectedly early. When you came up the stairs you stopped and watched the scene before you in slight amazement. Poprocks and some of the girls from another building were all huddled around Kyotani. One of them had brought their bike over.

“I’m sorry, I know you fixed it that one time but it came off again and I tired to do it but I didn't do it right”

The girl was almost crying and Poprocks patted her back soothingly.

“You're like nine its a miracle you even kinda knew how to fix this”

Kyotani said, his voice still had that gruff edge but you thought it wasn't too bad when he wasn't being horridly awkward.

“Look,”

He said pointing down to a part of the bike by the pedals.

“The chain works because it's tight, when you switch gears that changes how tight the chain is. When it fell off you put it on the wrong ring”

Now he moved his hands to the back of the bike and pushed on another part.

“Because the chain isn't tight, you can just pick it up, and put it where it's supposed to go, put it around the ring, then you just let go of this back here, and done”

Kyotani removed his hands from the bike. The girls cheered and spun the back wheel of the bike to test it.

“It's that easy?”

The girl said with a smile.

“That easy. I can break it again and you can try to fix it”

“No!”

All three girls shouted at once before hurrying away past you down the rest of the stairs. It was now that Kyotani saw you. There was a brief moment of eye contact before you pretended to look for your keys and he went inside his apartment.

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　

A couple days later you found yourself headed down to the pool. It had been a mostly shitty week and then you remembered the hot tub. There was only about an hour or so until the pool area that stood in the middle of the complex closed. But you were going to make sure it was an hour well spent. You got yourself ready, grabbing head phones, something to look at while you sat in the hot tub.

It had been cloudy all day so you doubted that anyone was down there. It hadn't rained and the sky had thrown no lightning so you felt safe heading down. Covering your swim wear with a t-shirt and grabbing some sandals you headed down.

You were walking along the cement path to the pool when you spotted a familiar blonde head already in the hot tub. Your steps faltered and you almost stopped. But you lived here, this was your home. You didn't want to feel uncomfortable around anyone here.

Opening the gate with your key three people turned to look at you. You ignored the note of your presence and took off your t-shirt, tossed your belongings onto a beach chair, and did your best to feel confident.

“Mind if I get in?”

“Sure!”

It wasn't Kyotani who answered, but one of the guys he was with. He had brown hair that swopped in front of his eyes a bit.

“This is Iwaizumi,”

Kyotani said pointing to the other person in the hot tub with you guys.

“And this is someone who wasn't supposed to come today but wouldn't stop calling me”

Mentioned person ignored Kyotani and focused only on you.

“My name is Oikawa, nice to meet you,”

After saying this Oikawa turned away from you to face Kyotani.

“You know you if you wanted me to leave you could have just asked”

Oikawa’s voice was double dipped in sarcasm and his face was so dramatic.

“I did actually tell you to leave”

Oikawa and Kyotani went back and forth like this. It eased your nerves, made you feel welcomed. You watched the lap of small waves and bubbles in the stream of warm water. You wished you could stay out in the relaxing water longer.

“Are you a friend of his”

Iwaizumi asked motioning his head to Kyotani, he sat across from you but the other two boys were too engrossed in arguing to pay attention to what he was saying. You sure weren't close to Kyotani, you were barely aqutinaces, but it would spoil the mood if you said otherwise. So only responded with a playful,

“Maybe”

Iwaizumi nodded before asking another question.

“You live here too?”

“Yeah, I actually live across from Kyotani”

Oikawa saw an opportunity to jump in here.

“What's that like? Terrible?”

“Shut up Oikawa”

Kyotani said quickly, flicking droplets of water at the other with his fingers.

“Besides the loud music it's not too bad”

You said with a shrug of your shoulders. Kyotani turned to you, a puzzled look adorning him.

“The music is loud?”

“Are you kidding? Has no one ever said anything to you before?”

The words came out as a stifled laugh as you watched Kyotani try to process this information.

“Why didn't you say anything before?”

You were about to answer when a crack of thunder cut you off.

“Shit”

Kyotani said before hosting himself out of the hot tub. The other boys followed suit and you all headed up to the building together.

“What are your plans for the rest of the night?”

Oikawa said, pulling you to him by the shoulder in a friendly gesture.

“You should ask someone if it's okay to touch them before you touch them dumbass”

“Oh he's actually right about something, sorry about that”

Oikawa apologized and pulled his arm off you.

“Apology accepted, and I was planning on watching a movie maybe getting some take out, nothing extragevent”

“Let us come over!”

“Really?”

You said, surprised that your rather normal plans excited Oikawa.

“I can use a movie night where I don't have to watch a Godzilla movie. By the way did you know there are a lot of Godzilla movies?”

“It’s not every time, okay? I let you pick movies too!"

Iwaizumi said, suddenly getting defensive. The two were in their own heated conversation now as Kyotnai and you trailed behind them up the stairs.

“Are you sure it's okay if we come over?”

“I’m sure”

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

"Oh, sorry I can come back another time,"

You said to Kyotani, propping open the swinging door with your foot. Usually you did laundry on a different day but the week had been busier than expected.

"It's okay. I'm leaving-"

He was cut off by the sound of Sleep and Flowerpot jumping down the stairs. There were laundry rooms on every other floor, they sat on platforms in-between the sets of stairs. They only had a washer and dryer, and enough room for one person to come sit watch over their clothes.

"Hey let me help!"  

Flowerpot dipped underneath your laundry basket and pushed it up from your grasp. Sleep rushed to help his friend before the basket had chance to fall over. They placed it onto the washing machine with a thunk.

"How come you little shits are so nice to them and not to me?"

"Because they're nice to us!"

Flowerpot said pointing at you.

Kyotani made a sound somewhere between a growl and a gruff laugh.

"What and I'm not?"

Flowerpot crossed their arms, not backing down to Kyotani.

"Just because you fix our bikes and toys and stuff doesn't count"

"I don't know, sounds pretty nice to me"

You said teasingly.

“The parents of the building hanging out!”

“Huh?”

You said as Poprocks bounded into the cramped room and pulled herself up on top of the dryer. Her swinging legs shut the hatch that Kyotani had just opened. The kids laughed at his annoyed expression.

“You guys always do stuff for us, and even though it's not a yard you let us play in your yard”

You were able to laugh but Kyotani said nothing, his head buried too far into the dryer for you to see his face.

“Speaking of parents dont you kids have other adults to go bother?” You asked them.

“Woah, Mad Dog, how hot is it in there?”

Flowerpot asked curiously when Kyotani pulled his head and the last of his clothes from the dryer.

“What?”

Kyotani said.

“Your face is so red it has to be really hot-”

“Hey don't do that!”

Both you and Kyotani said at the same time as Flowerpot attempted to stick his head in the dryer. Kyotani yanked at the kids shirt pulling him out.

“I’m fine! I’m fine! It's not even that hot!”

“It's rude to yell like that”

“I know!”

“Then why are you still yelling?”

With that Flowerpot chased Poprocks out of the room, Sleep and Kyotani following them out. Leaving you alone to do your laundry in quiet.

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

“That's weird”

You said looking at the banking app on your phone. Your paycheck hadn't deposited yet. Most Fridays the money just showed up in your account. You closed the app and then opened it again only to get an error message. You tried on your laptop. Then you googled your bank's name and found a couple articles talking about how your bank was updating their app, website, and other internal servers. Something hadn't gone correctly though. A lot of people couldn't access their accounts online.

You decided you would deal with this issue tomorrow. You opened up the fridge trying to piece together a meal with what you had  when pure fear raced up your spine. It was the first of the month. Rent was due. You ran to your room putting your shoes back on, checking what time the bank closed, grabbing your wallet and then running outside.

You were halfway down the stairs when you saw the bus you were supposed to be getting on pull off down the street. The one time the bus was there when it should be and you weren't there to get on it. The bank was going to close soon, it was about four miles away you wouldn't be able to walk there in time. You turned back up the stairs and knocked on Kyotanis door.

“How fast are you on your bike?”

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

Riding on the pegs of Kyotanis bike was a church like experience. You leaned over him, arms tightly wrapped around his shoulders. At turns and stop lights you closed your eyes, or buried your head into him. Everything was just blurs of sound and color. The two of you left behind whistles of speed as Kyotani continued to pedal faster and faster.

“I have the-”

The person in the car couldn't even finish before Kyotani spat out his own retort.

“I’m on a fucking bike!”

This was true. He was on a bike and somehow both very good and very bad at riding it. When he turned into the parking lot of the bank you two spun as he braked. You felt disoriented and didn't want to let go of him just yet.

“Do you have rent to pay or not?”

“Okay, okay, I’m going!”

You jumped down from the pegs and jogged into the bank. Kyotani had managed to get you there with only ten minutes before the bank closed. You weren't the only one in line to speak to a teller though. Your fingers tapped on your arm, your foot bounced worrying that you wouldn't be able to speak to anyone in time. But another teller opened their station and you were saved.

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

The ride home was much less stressful. You didn't feel nervous about being flung into oncoming traffic because Kyotani had also seemed to calm down. There was no aggressive speed or sharp turns. The wind felt gracious on your skin, the sun orange and cool in the dusk. It felt like you were gliding over the concrete.

“We should do stuff like this”

You said.

“What? Go to the bank again?”

“No, we should like hang out”

“Hm”

You slapped his shoulder.

“Don't just say hm”

“Fine, I agree we should,”

The words fumbled around in his mouth and it was the closet you'd ever see him stutter.

“Hang out”

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

A/N: No editing , no planning, just the usual late night word vomit.

[natashxromanovf]

I don't wanna go...

Pairing: Marauders × platonic!fem!potter! reader

Word count: 1.3K

Warnings: swearing, blood, death

Type: angst

Summary: No one knows what will the new year at Hogwarts bring. Well, this year was very much more different than the others.

A/N: Okay. I’ve probably hurt myself more when I wrote this than I will you. It’s my first angsty fic, so I don’t know if it’s good. I haven't mention Peter, but he is somewhere around. I just didn't know where to put him. Feedback would be really welcomed and appreciated. I’m sorry in advance. 

“I DON’T WANNA GO!” you yelled, trying to convince Euphemia not to go to the party.

“Well you’re going,” she said, “it’s Dorothy’s birthday and she invited us, so you’re going.”

“But-” you tried to contend

“No argues here young lady. You’re going.” she stated, that mother tone in her voice.

“Fine, but so that you know, James doesn’t want to go either.”

“Hey, don’t drag me into this! I honestly don’t care. Besides we’re gonna see Pads again, so it’s worth it.”

“Fine,” you finally stopped trying “There’s gonna be alcohol, right?” you whispered into James’s ear.

“You know it.” he whispered, a smirk appearing on his face. Well, that explains a lot of things, you thought.

It was a sunny, beautiful morning. The birds were singing, the sun was shining through the curtains and overall, it was lovely. You and James were enjoying the last weeks of summer, having to go back to Hogwarts soon. You almost forgot it was Dorothy’s birthday until mom reminded you. Dorothy was your mother's best friend since Hogwarts. She is a brunette woman with green eyes. She loves to talk and compliment the twins each time they get there. And it wasn’t any different this time.

“Oh, Euphemia, you have such beautiful and healthy kids.” she said cupping both of your and James’s cheeks.

“Thank you” your mother said.

“I see Pads,” you whispered

“Make an excuse” he whispered back.

“We would really much like to talk, but we gotta go to the bathroom.” you quickly made something up.

“Sure honey, go.” your mom replied.

“Bathroom, really?”

“Well did you have a better idea?” you whisper-yelled back.

“Whatever. PADS!”

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t my favorite twins. Hello, fancy seeing you here.”

“Oh, shut up” you said, wrapping your hands around his neck, pulling him into a hug

“I’ve missed you.” he says.

“Well, what am I? A potato?” James said, putting his hand on his chest.

“Oh, don’t be such a baby” Sirius said, giving him a bro hug. The rest of the evening was quite enjoyable, drinking champagne and catching up with one another, not hanging out since the end of the 6th year.

~

Holidays were over before you knew it. Now here you were, standing at the King’s Cross saying goodbye to your parents and greeting Remus. The train took off and soon enough you came to Hogwarts and the term started. 

The first few months went by ordinary; with the fact that NEWT’s were coming, of course. You couldn’t wait to finish Hogwarts and become an Auror, as you always wanted. It was your dream and soon they’ll come true. At least you hoped. But hey, with Remus tutoring you and you getting your shit together, anything is possible. 

Months went by and NEWT’s were getting closer and closer as were your nerves getting bigger and bigger. You really wanted it. To become an Auror. You and Sirius made a vow when you were younger to become Aurors, together. You weren’t worried for him, he’ll do all of his exams perfectly. He’s naturally talented. The person you were concerned about was you.

“Y/N, relax. You can do this! We’ve been practicing this for over a month now. Those hours spent in the library are gonna pay off.” said Remus, at breakfast before the potions test. It was the last one you had, the last step from committing to your dream career.

“I know Rem. It’s going to be alright. I’m gonna nail it!” you shouted. Maybe a little too loud, because half of the Great hall turned to you.

“Now, we’re talking.” he high-fived you.

“I know I can do it, I know I can do it.” you kept muttering to yourself.

“Miss Potter!” an unknown person shouted. Probably from the ministry, you thought. For the last time, you repeated your lessons with Remus from the library, before stepping into the classroom. The questions weren’t too hard and soon enough the lady said you passed. You couldn’t believe it. You did it! You are becoming an Auror. It was like a weight rolled from your shoulders and heart. For the first time, in a long while, you were extremely happy. And you couldn’t help yourself but play a little joke on your friends. As soon as you stepped into the common room a bunch of questions hit you.

“How did it go?” yelled Remus

“Did you pass?” asked James

“Are we fulfilling our dreams?” questioned Sirius. You hold your poker face on, trying not to grin as crazy and tell them the good news. They were getting kinda worried by now and you finally decided that enough is enough.

“I got an E!!!!” you yelled with pure happiness heard in your voice. They all let out a sigh of relief, pulling you into a group hug joyful words coming out of each of them.

“We’re so proud of you, darling!” Remus announced.

“More than you can imagine.” added James. Sirius just smiled, that grin telling you all of what he wanted to say. You’re making your dreams come true. 

~

The graduation took place about two weeks after. It was a little bit cloudy, but warm day. It was a perfect day. Not too hot, yet still enough to be in T-shirts. The students, including you, were all so excited. You’re finally leaving this school and going into the real world. Tho you were a little sad, giving the fact that you won’t see your friends so often. But all that matters is that you’ll stay a group. And that did not worry you. The happiness, radiating from your faces, could be seen from a mile away. It was all you ever wanted.

It’s over. You’re officially out of Hogwarts. Tho you still were in the yard where the graduation was, you were now drinking butterbeer and having a laugh with Marauders.

“Look who we have here.” said a voice. You could recognize it anywhere.

“Go away Bella!” you yelled without even turning around to look at her.

“Oh, rude are we today Y/N.” you had enough. No way this bitch is gonna ruin the day. It was too good.

“Look, Bellatrix,” you said “can you please leave us alone, it’s just such an amazing day.” you begged.

“Okay, but I have to do something first.” she pulled out her wand

“What are you doing Bella?” asked Sirius. You froze. You knew she was doing some nasty business for the Dark Lord, but you never expected you will be the target.

“I’m sorry Y/N. He said I have to prove myself to him.” she muttered an unknowing curse and it hit you in the stomach. First you thought nothing was happening. She did something wrong, you thought. But then you felt a sharp feeling in your stomach. It was like someone just stabbed you. The blood started pouring out of your belly and you collapsed to the floor. It was like everything was happening in slow motion. James ran up to you with the two boys right behind him. He put your head on his lap, Sirius and Remus both on your sides holding your hand.

“Y/N, you’ll be okay, stay awake for me!” yelled Sirius. All of them were crying, not knowing what to do. Many people said that when you’re about to die, the whole life repeats before your eyes. It wasn’t like that. All you could think of were your friends, crying over your body.

“Pl- please, don’t be too sad,” you whispered. “It’s okay. I made peace with death a long time ago.”

“No stay with me, please.” sobbed James. You knew you were about to die. It was true though, you were okay with it. But right before it happened, you felt a sudden wave of fear and it got the best of you.

“I don’t wanna go” you murmured as you bleed out in his arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[solange-lol]

"why don't we be friends (why don't we make out)" - (1/1)

words: 2,373

read on ao3

—

There are very few people that Nico forgets about. At least, as far as the people that have stuck around with him for most of his life.

He’s known Percy and Annabeth since they were young, remembering watching the two of them chase each other around the schoolyard and purposefully try and get desks right next to each other before they were inevitably separated by alphabetical last name seating. He remembers trying to convince Piper to do his french project and Jason sitting in the halls with him outside of the music room when they wouldn’t want to go outside for recess in middle school. He can still hear the alarm when Leo accidentally knocked over a bunsen burner in their sophomore year chemistry class, and the feeling of paint on his skin when Hazel tripped and sent half of her palette onto him in their art class.

Nico can even recall moments with the people he was never particularly close to, like when Rachel told him she loved him backstage of their winter concert after only having known him for five minutes (in a very lesbian/gay solidarity way, of course), or when Grover spent an entire hour hiding out in their school library to get away from their math sub.

It’s strange now, looking across such a large circle of people piled into Jason and Thalia’s house. They’re all people from his grade (or class , he supposes, now that they’re officially graduated), Each one of them, Nico can remember at least one conversation he’s had with them, one story he’s passed into his closer friend group that is laughed over and then inevitably moved on from.

It was supposed to be a big party celebrating all their friendships throughout the years.

Ironically, so many people that had such little impact on him, in retrospect.

Which is why it comes as a surprise to him when he sees a flash of blonde curls and freckled skin among the sea of people. He’s hit with what feels like a wall of memories of the two of them, laying in the same bed trading quiet secrets, and walks to the store to get an inhumane amount of candy that they can go share at the pier. Images of blue eyes, warm hands in his, and the sound of stifled laughter at midnight feel all too familiar. Nico is stuck on them.

He hasn’t seen Will in years.

It wasn’t exactly his choice. It wasn’t either of theirs, really. They had gone to middle school together, and from the ages of 10 to 14, Will knew the most about him.

And then their middle school graduation came and went, and Will left for a boarding school. Nico remembers, vaguely, Will asking him to come with them.

“They offer more classes, and there are more opportunities for help,” they had said, or something along the lines of it. “And we could be roommates.”

Part of him wanted to. All of him almost went. But it was the same year he lost his sister, and while moving to another state for school sounded like a fantastic way to avoid all his trauma, he had to stay with his family. Not that his father would have stopped him, but Nico knew he couldn’t go. Not yet.

So he stayed, and Will left, and it all worked out fine. They texted every other day, facetimed once or twice a month when their schedules lined up. Will came home for Christmas that year, telling stories about the other kids on their floor and their girlfriend. Then, when he came home for that summer, about their boyfriend.

Nico would listen, then catch Will up about what was going on at his public school. He had gone out on a date with one boy which was nice but didn’t turn into anything, and Will told him he would find someone eventually. They took trips to the mall together instead of the pier, mostly just to get milkshakes and have a place to walk around.

One morning, Will convinced him to bike to the beach in the morning to see the sunrise. The sky ended up being too cloudy, but they still sat together on the empty lifeguard chair, swapped sweatshirts and bagels with cream cheese, and talking about summer jobs and college.

Then Will left for their sophomore year, and school caught up to both of them and whatever kept them going was lost. The most Nico talked to them was through the occasional Snapchat sent to each other or on a group facetime

The last time Nico had called Will alone, it was in a panic to ask advice on how to break up with the boy he was dating at the time because he realized that relationships weren’t really his thing, at least not yet. Will had sat quietly, giving him occasional advice, and mostly just comforted him.

And that was it.

Nico had gotten a new phone later that year, and all their call logs and long text threads were lost into the depths of his phone memory.

It was bittersweet, in all honesty, and pretty painless for the most part. Maybe it’s because Nico never really forgot about Will. There was never any clear ending; no hard feelings between the two of them. He still sees their posts on social media, sees their mom in the store on occasion. He remembers passing Will at their local fair when they came home again for the summer of their junior year with their boyfriend that they were still dating, and then later again the next when he noticed that all posts had been removed from their Instagram including the ones with said boyfriend and nothing but will - they/them in their bio.

He wondered, briefly, where Will had gone when he didn’t even see him in passing over the following summer. Was he still going to the boarding school? Had his family moved out of the state entirely?

It never felt like a friendship breakup. It was clear now, though.

Nico wonders at which point it became one. He didn’t mean to stare at Will as long as he did. Everything had just come washing over him at once, and he was frozen in place staring at the person Nico had once called his best friend.

He doesn’t even realize he was staring until Will looks back. Their blue eyes meet his brown ones, and reality sets back in. The loud music he had drowned out in his daydream came filtering back through his ears, and he stumbles as people shove past him towards the kitchen. Still, his gaze locks on Will.

Neither of them makes a move towards each other at first.

Then, a moment later, Will is right next to him.

“Hey,” they say it slowly, almost like they were testing the waters, like they knew how long it had been since they had spoken.

Nico doesn’t know what to say. His first instinct was to hug them.

He withstands it, though, instead grabbing onto their wrist and pulling them past the crowd of people and into one of the rooms off of the main hall, which was miraculously empty. He can still hear the pounding music, but it was a little bit quieter with the door closed. Quiet enough that he can think again.

“Uh, hi,” Will tries again, and god, their smile never changed.

“Sorry,” Nico says once he realized he had just seemingly dragged them into a secondary location with no explanation. “It was just… loud. Out there.”

“I get it,” Will says, sitting down on the couch pushed onto the far wall and looking back up at Nico. They were wearing a pinkish-orange button-up Hawaiian shirt that looked straight out of their dad’s closet (Nico would know, he’s seen it before) that was half-tucked into mid-rise light wash jeans that were cuffed just enough that you could see a glimpse of where their socks met their Converse. Yellow, possibly the same pair they had bought at the mall two years prior when Nico was there.

They got taller, he thinks vaguely. Nico had too, but Will still has at least half a foot on him.

“So, what’s up?”

“Not much, I guess,” he shrugs, twisting his ring. “I mean, I graduated. I assume you did too.”

Will nods. “I did. Lou Ellen invited me as her plus one. You know her, right? Friends with Rachel.”

Nico nods. Shoulder length, cloud-like hair that was a different color every other week. Wore lots of random thrifted t-shirts over big pants. Loud personality, even louder voice. Band kid. Friends with Cecil; her good grades probably being the only reason he hasn’t been kicked out of the school yet. Once debated the legitimacy of gender binaries with him in an English class.

“Sorry for, like, staring at you before,” he says. “It’s been a while.”

They nod again. “All good. I was staring at you before anyway.”

“You were?”

“Yeah,” Will shrugs. “You’re easy to look at.”

Then, a moment later, “It has been a while, hasn’t it?”

“Yeah. You’ve changed a bit.”

“Have I?” They ask. “I think just my look, maybe. I’m still just as obnoxious.”

Nico snorts. It’s comforting to know they could just slip back into it like this. Like no time had ever passed, and Nico is back in their bedroom creating each other in The Sims.

“Are you still dating Connor?” Nico asks, vaguely remembering the last conversation they had.

“Nah, we broke up last winter.”

“Any reason?”

Will squints a bit like they’re curious why Nico’s asking. It makes Nico blush, immediately regretting saying anything.

“Dunno. We just grew apart,” they say. Then, “Sounds kinda familiar, doesn’t it?” followed by a laugh.

“I didn’t mean to stop talking to you,” Nico says quickly because he didn’t. There are days where he sees Will’s Instagram story or a tweet and knows that even though he could still comment, it wouldn’t quite be the same.

“Life got busy,” Will says. “It happens”

“I didn’t want it to. Not to us.”

“So let's restart.”

Nico blinks. “Just… start over our entire friendship?”

“No, just pick up where we left off.”

“Just like nothing happened?” he asks, sitting down on the couch next to them.

“Just like nothing happened,” Will affirms.

They’re both quiet for a moment, then—

“Do you remember what you told me when you first came out as bisexual to me?”

It was in the basement of Will’s house. Nico had come out as gay a few weeks prior, and when he was talking about the boy he liked, they just casually mentioned it. Being with Will like this again reminded him of something they had said, and something he later found out.

“I think I just, like… told you, right?” Will smiles. “And I said you were a big part of helping me figure out.”

“Yeah. I always thought you meant because I had already come out,” Nico said. “It wasn’t until, like, last year that Piper mentioned you meant that because you liked me.”

Will laughed again. “I figured you didn’t. You were always talking about what bad of a couple we would make.”

“Yeah,” Nico said, and his heart picked up pace as his knee knocked against Will’s by accident. Neither of them moved. “I actually had a massive crush on you for a while. I think I just said that because I wanted to try and get over it, so I wanted you to indirectly reject me.”

“Did you ever get over it?”

Nico laughs. “Not really. But I moved on.”

He notices Will shift closer, notices how their hands are now on top of each other and their legs are fully pressed together.

“Same,” Will says, moving their head closer to Nico’s until their foreheads are pressed together and their breaths mingle. They look at him for any sign to stop, and Nico doesn’t move.

“Good thing we’re starting over then, right?” they continue, practically a breath of a whisper before their lips connect, and god Nico did not think this was where his night was going but no way in hell was he about to stop it. (He’s not sober enough to care, anyway, and seemingly neither is Will judging by the strong scent smell of weed coming off of his shirt.)

Their hands laced together, subconsciously, almost like muscle memory from all the days walking hand in hand down the dock. (Nico wonders if his younger self was ever trying to tell his mind something.) Nico’s other hand comes up to rest on warm skin, brushing Will’s cheek with his thumb like he’s trying to wipe the freckles off.

Will wraps one arm around Nico’s waist, pulling him closer until he eventually just shifts so he’s in their lap. Will certainly doesn’t complain, only tilting their head to deepen the kiss and breaking apart their hands so they can run one hand through Nico’s hair.

They have to break apart after a moment, and Nico can help it when he laughs.

“Guess we were a little dumb when we were younger, huh?”

Will’s breathing heavy, but Nico doesn’t miss the familiar playful glint in their eye. “I don’t know what you mean. You’re still an idiot,” they say, pressing a kiss to the underside of Nico’s jaw, and another one right next to his ear.

He wonders if Will has thought about doing this the same way Nico has.

“Says you,” Nico says. “You were far more oblivious than I was.”

“I’m not the one who said we would make a bad couple,” they remind Will.

“Yeah?” he says, then leans back in to kiss Will again. Their mouths slot together, and god, they’re an even better kisser than Nico ever thought they could be. Something in his mind tells him maybe it’s not relationships he didn’t like, maybe he just knew it wasn’t the right person.

Perhaps Will’s that person he was always looking for.

Nico leans back, just barely so he can mumble “Lucky for you, I’m willing to test that theory,”  against Will’s lips just before they pull him in once more.

—

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[putschki1969]

2021/07/07 Blog post by Wakana 「麺」と「MEN」が仲間入り！！〜私の昼食大革命〜 

Super-Noodles have joined the ranks！〜My Great Lunch Revolution〜

❗This is Fan Club EXCLUSIVE content❗ ❗PERSONAL USE ONLY❗ Do ❗NOT SHARE❗ on other sites ❗ Join her FAN CLUB! Check out my detailed TUTORIAL ❗

Recently, I've come across something amazing that has shocked me to my core, the food of my dreams, it's truly revolutionised my daily diet. SUPER NOODLES!  ･: * +. \ ((° ω °)) /.:+ ･:*+.\((°ω°))/.:+ ･:*+.\((°ω°))/.: + ･: * +. \ ((° ω °)) /.:+ (they are gluten-free). These noodles are made from rice. Some of you may wonder if these taste like Vietnamese pho noodles or vermicelli noodles since they are also made from rice but they are actually quite different in texture and taste. They are not as soft but instead they are firm and chewy like udon, ramen, and regular pasta (they are vacuum-packed as seen in the picture and it only takes a minutes to make them, amazing, right?).

For the most part I live gluten-free so I do my best to stay away from flour. For example, I usually eat ramen and udon about once a month or so, the last time I had pasta was in autumn last year (if I remember correctly?*laughs*). I had pizza at the end of the year! And I had some bread while we did a shoot the other day ♪ It was delicious ~ ♪

I'm not allergic to gluten, so I can eat it without any issue, and I honestly really love noodles and bread. But as we all know it's better not to eat too much flour. That's why I try to refrain from it. I love pasta so much that I used to eat it almost every day. Whenever I have some delicious pasta I get addicted and super greedy, I will feel the need to eat it again the next day and the next. That’s why I really try my best to stay away from that *laughs*. Pizza is really delicious as well, and when I eat it, I feel like having it every week, so it is also very high on my list of things I try to avoid as much as possible. There are many occasions where I am tempted to eat bread but I am not really addicted to it so I don’t suffer from withdrawal symptoms if I don't have it regularly, it’s not like I need to have it every day so I am fine with that *laughs*. Also, I don't have much desire to eat cakes or other types of desserts with flour, so I don't mind staying away from them. I have gotten stronger and more patient when it comes to udon and ramen so I can tolerate having them only once a month. I have actually not had udon in a while now ... since I love udon so much I want to eat it in Fukuoka ... (when I am in Fukuoka, I allow myself to eat as much udon as I want ♪)

Writing all of this I feel like many people might assume that I am overdoing it, that it might not be very healthy to deny myself all these foods but the truth is, this eating habit has become part of my life, it feels very natural to me. I have various options for my main and side dishes so it’s not troublesome at all and it doesn’t feel like I am missing out on anything(⌒ ▽ ⌒) ♪ And sometimes the ban is lifted and I will eat whatever I want ♪ But yeah, for the most part I just want to eat udon and pasta without having to worry about my body. And that’s possibe now. Thanks to the super noodles!!! My wish has come true!!!! (´ ； Д ； `) Really, a true revolution! These special "noodles" have joined the ranks of my favourite lunch foods (lunch is the only meal where I eat carbs)!! I have so much fun every day thinking of new ways to prepare my noodles *laughs* In the first picture you are seeing my basic lunch. Very lazily prepared *laughs*. And the follow-up picture is what happens if you use noodles instead of rice  ↓ ↓ ↓ I added a raw egg to the hot boiled super noodles, some Saku-Saku Crispy Soy Sauce and then sprinkled some sesame seeds on top, pure heaven. If you add some tomato sauce, it tastes just like regular tomato sauce pasta. The noodles look like real pasta, but it’s all made of rice. And they taste just like pasta!! A huge surprise!! Noodles by themselves aren’t the most nutritious food so I always make sure to have miso soup or natto on the side *laughs*. My lunch is in the midst of going through a great revolution!

Hello, this is Wakana (0￣ ▽ ￣0) /

My introduction turned out really long *laughs*. Yup, it’s a long wall of text this time *laughs*. If you are interested in a gluten-free diet, there are so many powerful and useful foods that will help you on your journey and provide peace of mind! \\\\ ٩ ('ω') و //// ♪

By the way, today is July 7th! It's Tanabata ☆ o (^ ▽ ^) o It gets cloudy on Tanabata every year so as expected it’s cloudy in Tokyo tonight too ... a shame~ (￣ ▽ ￣;)

Time flew by, it's already been two and a half months since my spring concert ... How is time going by so quickly? Prior to the release of the live Blu-ray, Victor's Official YouTube Channel released a digest video! The trailer is about 7 minutes long and you really get a proper feel for the live *laughs*. Please be sure to check it out~ ♪

And the other day we got to finally announce the musicians for "Wakana Anime Classic 2021" which will have its first performance in Osaka on August 15!!! Tadaaaa!!! 

Music Director / Piano: Shin Hashimoto (Sin) Violin: Koichiro Muroya Cello: Takahiro Yuki

Sin-san, the music director and pianist, has assisted me on many occasions, he contributed to the "Wakana Covers ~ Anime Classics ~" album and he has accompanied me on YouTube videos and other online events! The violinist Muroya-san has not only worked on my "Wakana Covers ~" album, he has also participated in the recording for many songs on my other albums! I have actually known the cellist Yuki-san ever since my days in Kalafina, back then he played the cello during various productions. Now that I have become a solo artist, he continues to be of help during recordings. Such a fantastic trio!! I think that the arrangements this time around will be simpler and the sound will be much more intimate. We want to carefully create immaculate arrangements so you can enjoy every second of the concert. I can’t wait for rehearsals to start ...! I think August will come in no time so I'm really just looking forward to the first live performance in Osaka (● ´ω ｀ ●) *excited* ♪

It's a little while before I can meet you in person but there will be an online sign event this Friday and Saturday ~ (* ^ ◯ ^ *) Just a little while longer! I'll be writing your names and adding my signature on these lovely sheets ~ (๑˃̵���˂̵) Please look forward to it~! !!

Well then, let’s meet on the weekend! Until next time〜☆( *'▽’*)/

*** Wakana ***

2021/07/07 Instagram post by Wakana

More location photos! I went to a place of my dreams ~ 🌿🌿🌿 A country of plants! ️😆😆 I have been there several times already, there are many plants, flowers, gorgeous pots and fashionable vases every time I come here, it's truly a magical land that I never get tired of ... 🥰💕 Details of this location will be announced at a later date 😊 Please be patient a little while longer🎵 The second photo is featuring colourul vases in the shapes of vegetables and fruits ~ 😍🍓🍋🍍 🍓 I was worrying so much about whether to buy one or not ❗ (in the end I resisted). By the way, today is Tanabata 🎋 Please spend a wonderful night with your wishes in mind ✨🌠🌟🌠

Source

[crystalninjaphoenix]

Similarities

Switch AU

A JSE Fanfic

Y’know I realize there hasn’t been that much advancement of the plot in this AU as of late. Sorry bout that. But hey, no story is all action all the time. And we get character development! In this, Jackie stays over with JJ and Marvin, and talks with the latter about some...experiences. Emotions are involved. Two characters grow closer. Stuff like that. It was nice to write, so I hope you guys enjoy :)

More of this AU found here

“And then! And then Kristy gave me this bracelet. She gave one to all the girls in class, I mean, but look at it! It’s my favorite colors!” Michelle shook her wrist, causing her new red-and-yellow beaded bracelet to spin wildly around it. “And I’m the only one who got the star charms!”

Jackie smiled, leaning down to ruffle Michelle’s hair. “Sounds like a fun last day of school.”

“It was! And now we’re on holiday, and that’s always great!” Michelle flopped down onto her back, now laying on the living room floor, and looked up at her dad sitting on the sofa with wide eyes. “And about holidays, what did you get me for Christmas?”

“I can’t tell you that! It’ll ruin the surprise!”

“I’ll like it anyway.”

Jackie laughed. “That’s probably true, but the surprise makes it even better. Why, is there something you really want?”

“Don’t worry, I already wrote my letter,” Michelle said proudly. “I gave it to Ren.”

“Oh that’s great!” Jackie said. Rama showed him the letter earlier; Michelle had included a detailed list of toys she wanted Santa to bring. “Right, I forgot they told me they dropped it off at the mailbox. They also said your writing is looking really good.”

“They did?!” Michelle beamed. “That’s so cool.”

Before Jackie could continue, the alarm on his phone went off. He dug it out of his hoodie pocket and turned it off, sighing. “Well, looks like I have to go now.”

“Aww.” Michelle’s happy expression turned to a pout as they sat up. “Can’t you stay more? I never see you anymore.”

“Sorry, sweetie, Dad has to go to work,” Jackie said regretfully. “But I’m really glad I stopped by before I had to.”

“Stupid work,” Michelle grumbled. She held out her arms. “Hug?”

Jackie bent over and gave her a hug, squeezing tight as he lifted her off the ground and onto her feet. “I’ll see you again later.”

“Bye, Dad.” Michelle waved as Jackie grabbed his coat and walked over to the front door, heading out.

It was a bit after noon, the sky partly cloudy. Jackie had taken to picking up shorter afternoon and evening shifts at the hospital. He was fine with taking more, but his boss still insisted he didn’t work as much, after the...ordeal he went through a few months ago. Part of him wondered if she was trying to get him to quit or something, but he wasn’t going to do that any time soon, so it was a misguided strategy if that was the case.

Rama was outside, trying to do yard work in their small front garden. Jackie stopped for a moment, watching. They quickly noticed and stopped, standing up straight and turning around to ask, “Enjoying the view?”

“Hey, I-I didn’t—I wasn’t—” Jackie stammered, blushing a bit. “You’re wearing a coat. I was just thinking it looked a bit difficult, pulling up dead weeds in the—in the hard winter dirt—”

“I know, Jackieboy,” Rama chuckled. “Leaving so soon?”

“Yeah,” Jackie said regretfully. “I already said goodbye to Michelle.”

Rama hesitated, then slowly asked, “Have you...thought about moving back in...any time? In the near future, I mean.”

Jackie paused, thinking about it as he turned to look over the house. It was so familiar to him. It was his home—or at least, it had been, up until...everything happened. And just being inside put him on edge. “You know...it’s not just that it’s ours, i-it’s any place that...sort of looks like the place where...” He trailed off. After all this time, he still hadn’t told Rama anything about Distorter. He wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t a good idea to keep secrets from your spouse. But just...something like that...it seemed like the more people knew about Distorter, the more they were pulled into this situation. They’d already lost Michelle for a bit, he couldn’t bear if...

“I understand,” Rama nodded. “But...we miss you. Even though you visit so often.”

“I know, I miss you too.” Jackie thought about it. “I—I still get pretty anxious, but I’m working on it. With Lisa.” That was his therapist. “Maybe sooner rather than later?”

Rama went silent, then clapped their hands once. “Okay. We’ll buy an apartment.”

“Wh-what?!” Jackie gasped. “Ramram, you can’t do that! It’s expensive, and we’re putting most of your book money towards Michelle’s education—Not to mention it’ll be a whole change, the move might be hard on Mich, especially if it’s too far away from the school and she has to transfer. And we’re in the suburbs because of the quiet for your writing—No, i-it won’t work out, I can’t make you two do that.”

After a moment, Rama slowly nodded. “If you’re sure. Take care of yourself, mi corazón. Do what’s best for you.”

Jackie walked over and gave Rama a quick squeeze of the hand. “I will. You do the same.”

They leaned close and kissed him on the cheek. “Have a good time at work.”

“Thanks. I mean, I’ll try. I’ll see you guys later.”

And with that, he headed over to his car and got inside. Before driving off, he waved at the house one more time. Rama waved back, standing in the yard, and Michelle did, too, watching from the front window. He kept looking at them as he pulled away.

——————— 

That evening, Jackie was driving back from work, tired after a long day, when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Who could be texting him now? Rama, maybe? Did they want to continue the conversation they had before he went to the hospital? Or maybe it was similarly important. Curious, Jackie pulled over to the side of the road and parked, taking his phone out to check it really quick.

The message was from JJ. Hey Jackie. Sorry, but it’s happened again.

Jackie knew what that meant. He unlocked the phone and replied, Marvin? Whats the problem this time? Symptoms?

Fever again. Sometimes coughing, no sneezing. I thought it was just a cold, but I think it’s getting bad.

Bad? Jackie asked, already worried.

Maybe I’m just paranoid. Thinking about that time he had to stay in the hospital last year. But I’d rather be safe than sorry. Can you pop over?

Jackie didn’t hesitate. Of course. I’ll be right there. But first, how long has he been sick?

JJ paused, probably thinking. Well it really only started the day before yesterday, but about a week ago he got a little sick. He was better by the next day, so I assumed that was it.

Yknow he mightve been pretending to be better?

If he was, I’m going to kill him, JJ immediately replied. 

Jackie let out a huff of laughter. Dont kill him before I get there. I’ll be there in ten minutes, tops.

Got it. Thanks.

He put his phone back in his pocket and pulled back onto the road. He really hoped it wasn’t a repeat of what happened last year. That situation had been...worrying. Stressful, even. Because Marvin hadn’t had any official paperwork, they couldn’t get him to the hospital right away, not until Anti could forge some stuff. Poor Marvin had to suffer through a lot before they got everything together. Luckily, they’d gotten him up-to-date with paperwork and vaccines since then, but even so, winter seemed to especially affect his health.

It was unlikely that this would be a similar situation, but just in case, Jackie stepped on the gas.

———————

He arrived at Marvin and Jameson’s house nine minutes later and hurried up to the front door, where he knocked and waited. Almost immediately the door swung open to show Jameson inside. So glad you could make it, he signed. I hope I didn’t message you at an inconvenient time.

“Huh? No, it was fine, I was heading back home, anyway.” Jackie stepped inside, and JJ closed the door behind him. “Is he in his room?”

Unless he left in the last minute, JJ said.

That might actually be a possibility, given Marvin’s attitude towards being sick. Jackie hurried down the hall to his bedroom. The door was closed, so he slowly eased it open and poked his head in. “Marvin? It’s me.”

The lights were off, and the dark room was filled with the sound of an electric fan whirring. Something moved on the bed—probably Marvin rolling over. “Y’got t’be more specific. ‘Me’ coul’ be anyone,” he mumbled.

“It’s Jackie.” As he said this, Jackie reached over and flipped on the light switch, so Marvin could see him as well as hear.

“Ah!” Marvin squeezed his eyes shut against the sudden brightness. “Jackie? Huh. Come for a visit..? No, wait...y’here for somet’ing?”

“Yeah, I’m just uh...stopping by for a bit.” Jackie took a step into the room, JJ following shortly behind, and walked over to the bed. “How are you feeling?”

“‘M fine. Jus’ grand.” Obviously, this was not the case. Marvin was sweating enough to make his hair damp, and his skin had a sickly pallor. But despite how hot he seemed, he was shivering, and had the comforter on the bed pulled up. Mr. Fluffington was sitting next to the pillow, purring furiously. Marvin reached over and petted him for a moment before flinging his arm over his face and covering his eyes. “Ev’ryt’ing’s Jake.”

“Yeah. Um...clearly not.” Jackie looked over at JJ. “Can you go get the—”

Already anticipating what he was going to ask for, JJ walked over to the nearest chair and picked up their first aid kit, coming back over to hand it to Jackie.

“Oh. Thanks.” Jackie took it and started rummaging about inside. “Marv, I’m going to take your temperature, do you mind?”

“A-ha. So it’s a fuckin’...fucking’ check-up I get it...” Marvin trailed off into mumbling under his breath, but didn’t protest as Jackie pulled out the thermometer and took his temperature. After it was done, he rolled over onto his side, practically burying his face in Fluffington’s fur.

Jackie looked down at the thermometer and frowned. 39.2 C...that wasn’t good. Wasn’t good at all. “Marvin? How do you really feel? Like...on the fatigue scale, where would you be?”

Marvin looked back over at him, head rolling lazily. “Hmm...se-seven? Seven and a half?”

“You have a really high fever. Is there anything else, like a headache or something?”

“Well...” Marvin paused to think. His eyes were a bit glazed. “T’ere’s a tickle in my throat. Won’ go ‘way. My nose is all stuffy. Felt a bit sick...sick like...the stomach issues sick. Couldn’ eat anyt’ing ‘cause...bad.”

Jackie glanced over at JJ, hovering nearby. I can second that, JJ said. He didn’t have dinner.

“Alright. It’s probably just a cold,” Jackie said. Yet a note of uncertainty remained in his voice. “A bad one, but you’ll probably be fine.”

So what do we do then? JJ asked.

Jackie hesitated. “Well...” His instincts were telling him not to take any risks, to stay and make sure everything stayed fine. “Given past experiences, is it okay if I spend the night? Just to keep an eye on things.”

“Wha...?” With a fair amount of effort, Marvin sat up. “No, don’ stay over, you’re...you’re prob’ly all busy. Ye jus’ said it was alrigh’.”

“Alright...for now,” Jackie said darkly. “Right now you’re on the edge of ‘a bad cold’ and ‘a serious issue.’ Things could easily get worse in the night, but by tomorrow, it’ll be clear if this is the worst it’ll get or...if there’s more.”

JJ’s expression was filled with anxiety. Is there anything I can do to help?

“Yeah. Get him to take his shirt off.”

Marvin snorted. “Whoa, Jackie, you know Jems and I aren’...aren’ a pair. Not t’at type of pair.”

Jackie rolled his eyes. “Seriously, you need to change your shirt. I know your feelings on short sleeves, but this is making your fever worse.” He turned back to JJ. “Anyway, you know what else. Ibuprofen, water, all that. You already got the fan on, that’s good.”

JJ nodded seriously. Got it. You really want to stay over?

“Well...better safe than sorry, you know? If it starts to go bad, I can recognize it, and we can get him to the hospital really quickly. Is...is it okay?”

Of course it is! You can stay whenever, but especially in this situation. You’re the doctor, after all. JJ smiled gently.

Marvin groaned. “Fffffine, Jackie can stay.”

Jackie smiled a bit at Marvin’s acceptance. But really, him not protesting more was a sign of how bad he felt. At this point, he probably recognized that he needed help, and it wasn’t worth the struggle. “Great. I’ll just have to call Schneep and tell him what’s going on, so he doesn’t get worried when I don’t show up at the flat. But right now, where do you keep the Ibuprofen?”

———————

Marvin and Jameson’s town house didn’t have a guest bedroom, so Jackie had to set up in the living room. Luckily, they did have lots of spare pillows and blankets. But Jackie wasn’t going to sleep right away. He was staying over to keep an eye on things, so that’s what he did. First, by making sure Marvin actually changed clothes into something cooler and more lightweight. Then, by teaming up with JJ to make sure Marvin actually ate dinner. He still didn’t have much of an appetite, but between the two of them, they convinced him that he needed the energy. Oh, and water. He needed lots of water.

In the meantime, Jackie watched some YouTube videos on his phone to pass the time. JJ offered to lend him a book, but Jackie turned him down. He wasn’t in the mood to read, and besides, it would probably take him days to finish with his new work schedule. Every so often, he got up and went into Marvin’s bedroom to check on him. Maybe too often. Marvin quickly got annoyed, though he didn’t have the energy to snap at him.

“Hey, do you need anything?” Jackie asked on perhaps his fifth check-in.

“I need...t’not be so hot,” Marvin replied, a faint note of sarcasm in his voice.

“Do you feel worse?” Jackie asked. “Maybe you need to take off the blanket?”

“No.” Marvin briefly buried his face in the pillow before realizing that he couldn’t breathe like that, not while his nose was all congested. “‘f I take off the...the blanket, then ‘m too cold.”

“Ah. Well, maybe a thinner one, then? Here, lemme take your temperature again.”

Marvin didn’t say anything, just allowed the temperature-taking and the blanket-switching. Then he rolled over and closed his eyes, presumably falling asleep immediately.

JJ bounced between being on his computer, being upstairs in his magic workroom, and checking up on and bringing things to Marvin. He constantly seemed distracted, unable to commit to one course of action. Jackie couldn’t blame him. His best friend was sick, and there was a distinct possibility that he could get worse and would need to go to the hospital. Anyone would wander around, unsure what to do.

One time, JJ came into the living room with his laptop and sat down, writing. “What’re you doing?” Jackie asked.

JJ looked up. Work stuff. A lot of emails, mostly.

“Ugh. Work emails.” Jackie shook his head. “Y’know half the time the emails I get aren’t even relevant to me. It’s like ‘Notice: thing in the operating room’ and I’m like ‘you do know I’m just a GP, right? And for kids, too, right?’ Like, I think I’ve been in the operating room twice.”

JJ chuckled weakly. It’s a bit different for me. I have to coordinate rehearsals and effect supplies, book venues, and generally manage and schedule a bunch of people.

“Really? What about your manager? What’s her name, uhhh...Darla? Doesn’t she do that stuff?”

Sort of. It’s like a joint effort. I’m technically in charge, though, so I at least have to approve everything.

Jackie shook his head. “I could never do that. Too much. How do you manage?”

I was a theatre kid, JJ said, shrugging with a half-smile on his face.

“Does having actual magic help?”

Not really, not with all the organizational stuff. If anything, it can make things more complicated, as I have to figure out a trick that I can use with real magic but cover up with tricks and effects. JJ sighed. I really need this to go well, Jackie. It’s the first show since my voice was damaged, it has to work out.

Jackie smiled at him. He leaned over from his position on the sofa and put a hand on JJ’s shoulder, which he could barely reach as JJ was sitting in a different chair. “You’ll do great. Your shows have always been fantastic, and the voice thing isn’t going to change that.”

JJ smiled a bit. Thanks, Jackie. Glad to know you think so.

“We all do. We belieeeeve in youuuu.”

JJ laughed a bit, and returned to his emails.

Eventually, night came. JJ wrapped up his work and reluctantly headed to bed, not wanting to leave Marvin alone and sick. But Jackie assured him that it would be fine. He would be staying up, and if Marvin wanted to talk to JJ specifically, he could go wake him up. Or Marvin could text him. Mostly reassured, Jameson went upstairs to sleep, leaving Jackie awake in the living room.

Jackie checked on Marvin a couple times more, but found him asleep. Exhausted from all the fatigue he was feeling. Good. If he slept well, he’d probably be better in the morning, and they could all relax when it turned out to be a terrible cold, and nothing more.

Watching YouTube videos eventually got boring, so Jackie decided to plug his phone in to charge and do something else for a bit. As it turned out, Mr. Fluffington was still awake as well. So Jackie found a laser pointer in a table drawer in the living room and played with him for a bit. Until, after a while, Fluffington got tired of the red dot, and even the cat went to bed.

Bored again, Jackie put the laser pointer back. He was considering JJ’s offer of lending a book to read, and was looking over the titles of the ones on the living room bookshelves, when he heard...something. Some sort of distant sound. He paused, going still as he listened.

For a while, nothing happened, and everything was silent. But then, he heard it again. A voice? Someone saying something? Maybe it wasn’t words, but instead just sounds...distressed sounds. After a few moments of listening, Jackie realized with a start that the voice was coming from down the hall. The direction of Marvin’s room.

Something must have been wrong. Immediately, Jackie unplugged his phone and pocketed it—just in case—and headed down the hall, half-running. He reached Marvin’s door soon, finding it closed. He didn’t hesitate to open it and step inside. “Marvin?! Is everything okay?”

The room was dark again, pitch black in the night. The fan was off. Strange, it was on last time Jackie was in here. Had Marvin woken up and turned it off? That didn’t matter. He could clearly hear Marvin, crying out and whimpering. Jackie flicked the light switch on and walked over. “Marvin? What’s wrong?”

Marvin didn’t answer, just kept mumbling and crying, sounding frantic. Then, Jackie noticed his eyes were closed. Ah. So he was asleep. Having a nightmare. And a bad one, by the looks of it. His blankets and even his shirt were all twisted around him, which only upset him more, as he seemed to be trying to fight against them. Jackie reached out and put a hand on his head, then immediately pulled it away. He was so hot, the fever burning him up. Jackie turned the fan on and checked the bedside nightstand for anything else. There was a half-empty glass of water and a damp cloth. That would work.

He picked up the damp cloth and tried to put it on Marvin’s head. But Marvin cried out and yanked his head away, shouting...something. Jackie couldn’t quite catch it, but he thought he heard ‘go away’ and ‘don’t want your help.’ “Marvin, it’s me. I-I want to—can you wake up? Wake up, it’s fine.” He reached out to try and untangle the blankets.

That turned out to be the wrong thing to do. Marvin started flailing wildly, tossing, turning, kicking, waving. The blankets restricted his movement, but it was still enough to make him roll off the opposite side of the bed. “Marvin!” Jackie leaned over the bed. “God damn it. I’ll get you, don’t worry.”

As he walked around to the other side, he stopped for a moment. The edge of the blankets were tucked into the gap between the mattress and the footboard. Jackie pulled them out, letting the blankets go free. That made them somewhat less restrictive, but it also meant that Marvin, still moving and struggling, ended up wrapping them loosely around his legs. Which...actually probably didn’t help in the long run. Well, too late now. Jackie knelt down on the ground next to Marvin. “Hey, calm down, it’s fine,” he said, trying to sound soothing as he went about untangling the blankets around him.

It took longer than he expected. Marvin kept wriggling and flailing, but still had his eyes firmly shut as he remained asleep. Jackie tried to wake him up, but to no avail. And he kept muttering the whole time, occasionally whimpering or crying out as if in pain. His words ran together, slurred by sleep-talking, but some distinct phrases popped up: “Get away!” “Don’t you dare...” “Leave me alone!” “...don’t want it.” “Don’t want you.” It hurt Jackie’s heart to hear. Was it the fever causing this nightmare? Or something more?

After a good few minutes, he freed the blankets, leaving them on the floor as he tried to pick up Marvin. Again, the struggling made this difficult. Marvin actively tried to push him away at times...though that mostly turned into him weakly slapping Jackie’s face and arms. But Jackie was determined, and managed to get Marvin back on top of the mattress. Once there, Marvin gave up and went limp, lying there still. Jackie sighed in relief and pressed his hand to his head. Still hot, and his pale skin was damp with sweat. He should wake him up soon, get him to drink some water to replace what he lost with all the sweat. But first, he picked up the damp rag again, using some of the water from the glass to wet it more and make it cooler. He laid the cloth across Marvin’s forehead.

The moment he did, something...unusual started to happen. Marvin whimpered, turned his head to the side, and started to cry. Tears leaked from his eyes as he quietly sobbed and continued to mumble something. The words had changed. Now, Jackie could hear a lot of “No” and “Please don’t” over and over and over. As he listened, stunned, these were broken up by adding “I’m sorry” and “I’ll be good” to the mix, which only shocked him further.

“God. Marvin,” he whispered to himself. No more waiting, he had to wake him up now. He couldn’t handle the thought of leaving him to whatever horrible nightmare he was having. “Marvin, wake up. It’s me, it’s Jackie.” He leaned over and started shaking him. Gently at first, then gradually harder as that failed to wake him up. His voice slowly raised. “Marvin. Marvin! This is Jackie. You need to wake up!”

After what felt like ages, Marvin stopped mumbling. He groaned, and slowly opened his eyes, staring up at Jackie. At first, confused. Then slowly getting his bearings. He reached up and weakly grabbed at the damp cloth on his forehead until he managed to take it off. Then he tried to sit up, but gave up once the fatigue proved too heavy. “Whoa...” he muttered. “I...where...? When...?”

“You’re in your room. In the house you live in with Jameson,” Jackie explained patiently. “It’s...” He checked the time on his phone. “Ha, it’s midnight on the dot.”

“What...?” Marvin swallowed dryly. “What’s the date?”

“December 10th.”

“...the year?”

“2018.”

“Right.” Marvin nodded a bit, then stopped, looking a bit dizzy. Once again, he tried to sit up, and this time Jackie helped him prop himself against the headboard. “D’you...have any water?”

“Yeah.” Jackie grabbed the water glass and offered it to him. Marvin grasped it weakly, and Jackie only let go once he was sure he could hold it securely. 

Immediately, Marvin lifted the glass to his mouth and drank, draining the glass. “Th’nk you,” he said, handing it back.

“No problem,” Jackie said, taking it. “I can go get more, if you want. Colder, too.”

Marvin took a deep breath, looking unsure. Actually, he looked more than unsure. He looked...shaken.

“You were...having a bad dream,” Jackie said gently. “I-I could hear you making noise, talking and...shouting and...and crying. So I came to check on you. You were rolling around and fell off at one point, but now you’re awake. A-and you’re alright. You’re safe.”

Marvin stared at him for a while, then looked away and closed his eyes, taking another deep breath. Then, strangely...he laughed. “Bad dream,” he repeated. “‘Tis always a bad dream. T’at’s...only time I remember. Which ‘s...strange...isn’ it? T’at’s not how mem’ry works.”

“Remember?” Jackie blinked. “Remember what?”

A pause. Marvin opened his eyes, but didn’t look directly at Jackie. “If y’coul’...go get water I’d…’preciate it.”

“Do you mean...the time you were with him?” Jackie asked softly.

Marvin stiffened. “How’d you...?”

“How did I guess? I just...” Jackie looked down at his hands. He traced the scars on his wrists and shrugged. “It sounded...familiar.”

The silence that followed stretched on. Jackie was worried he’d overstepped some boundary and was about to leave, when Marvin pulled his knees up and gestured to the end of the bed, now clear without his legs there. “Sit down.”

Jackie sat. “Did I—do you not want to talk about it?”

“You...you r’member, righ’?” Marvin asked. “What happened...when you were with him?”

“Of course. I-I-I couldn’t forget.” Jackie laughed humorlessly. “It’s actually a problem, so much reminds me of it. I had to make Volt throw out his zip-ties, and put away his knives and half his cleaning stuff when I moved in with him, since just looking at them freaked me out. I mean, he’s taken them out again now. ‘Cause it’s a bit better. But I can’t...can’t go home, or into any house that’s even a bit similar to that place, can’t spend too much time inside...” He trailed off. “You...don’t remember anything?”

Marvin hummed, leaning his head back against the wall. “‘T’s strange for me. I don’...I don’ remember how I got here. To the...the ‘when,’ I mean. But I...I’m startin’ t t’ink that...he’s the reason for that.”

“Like...he brought you to the present?” Jackie asked.

“No.” Marvin shook his head a bit, but gave up, wincing a bit. Jackie guessed a headache or something that made the motion worse. “I don’ t’ink he coul’ do t’at. It...it doesn’ really fit him, or...or what he can do. Y’know? But...after I got here, however t’at happened, I...I t’ink I ran into him. A-an’ he decided someone so confused woul’ be an easy target.” He paused for a moment, just breathing. Jackie waited patiently. “I didn’...didn’ r’member any of t’is at first. I forgot ev’ryt’ing between bein’ home, and meeting Jems. But...when I go to sleep, I remember. In my dreams.”

“Well...that can happen sometimes,” Jackie said slowly. “Your brain can block out upsetting stuff. And having nightmares about what happened to you is a common trauma response. At least, that’s what I’ve been told.”

“No, no, I know t’at, but it’s...diff’rent for me,” Marvin insisted. “It’s all...too clear. Like it’s happenin’ for the first time. And...I know the dreams r’lly happened, because...I have scars...that match up.”

At that, Jackie glanced down at Marvin’s arms. He’d noticed the scars before, but hadn’t really thought too much about them. Maybe that said something about him as a friend. Or maybe he just didn’t want to pry. But they definitely existed. Most of them were short lines, probably caused by something sharp, but there were also a few burn scars on Marvin’s upper arms. They were all usually covered by his shirt. Jackie suddenly made a connection. “Is that why you always wear long sleeves?”

“Don’ t’ink so,” Marvin mumbled. “Everyt’ing I say, about proper dress and wantin’ t’keep to a routine and not wantin’ any random people grabbin’ my arm...that’s all true. But...maybe it is a reason, but I jus’ don’ realize it. Is that why you wear your jacket all the time now?”

“Hmm.” Jackie tugged at the cuffs of his hoodie. “No. I mean, it’s related. I just...” He paused, getting his thoughts together. “I didn’t have this while I was with him. I-I left it behind. Or...he did, when he showed up. So it’s just...a reminder that it’s all safe now.”

“Reminder,” Marvin repeated, and nodded, once. 

Jackie let out a long exhale. It was really easy to talk to Marvin about all this. He’d had to work up to sharing details like this with his therapist, but now, he was letting them spill. It must have been because he knew Marvin would understand. “I guess if you don’t remember anything, you don’t need a reminder. Right? Ha. I-I wish I didn’t remember.”

Marvin pressed a hand to his head, as if he could feel the empty spots where the missing memories were supposed to be. “I don’ know. I think...I think I’d rather jus’ know. Because...he must’ve done it. He must’ve made me forget. But...why? For what? What’s the purpose? Is there...somet’ing I still don’ know? T’at he wanted to keep secret?”

“Huh. I...didn’t think of that.” Jackie frowned. “You’re right.”

“T’ere’s a lot missing. I’ve dreamt about how...about how we met, but how’d I get out? I dreamt him takin’ my set of playin’ cards, but...why do I feel...they were so important? More t’an just bein’ mine, I mean. And what...what did I do?” Marvin said that last part in a hushed tone.

Jackie stared at him. Then he stood, took a few steps closer to Marvin, and sat back down on the bed, now next to Marvin. He leaned against the headboard instead of sitting on the edge, so the two of them were mirroring each other, side by side. It wasn’t particularly comfortable. The bed was narrow, so he had to sit very close to Marvin, still burning with fever. But...he wanted to. And Marvin didn’t protest. “If you did anything, it wasn’t your fault,” Jackie said softly. “You can’t...do anything in that state.”

Marvin rubbed his eyes. They were starting to water. “You...know?”

Jackie nodded silently.

Taking a shaky breath, Marvin asked, “What...h-how bad...were the things he...made you...?”

After a long moment, Jackie replied. “No one died. But...some were hurt. I think...if I stayed there any longer, it would’ve gotten worse.” He had to stop for a moment. He’d...never told anyone about that. “But it’s...it’s not our fault. It’s Distorter’s. We called him that because he distorts thought, a-and that’s exactly what he did. We aren’t those thoughts he put there, o-or the actions he caused.”

Marvin couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. He buried his face in his hands, but Jackie caught a glimpse of them flowing before he could hide them entirely. “I jus’...wish I coul’ remember.” A sob caught in this throat. “I remember feelin’ horrible, I remember screamin’ at him for what he made me do, I remember tryin’ to fight against it...but I don’ remember what I did. I t’ink...I might dream the memory one day. A-an’ I...don’ know...how I’ll react.”

Jackie leaned against him. Reaching up, he took Marvin’s wrist and slowly pulled his hand away from his face, revealing the tear stains and bloodshot eyes. “We aren’t those thoughts,” he repeated, quietly, but firmly. “Those actions weren’t us.”

Marvin stared at him. Then nodded. He looked away. “Will you...stay? For a while?”

“Of course.”

The two of them sat in silence for a long while, the night stretched before them.

——————— 

The next morning, Jackie woke up to the familiar sounds of someone making breakfast. He opened his eyes and sat up, wincing a bit at the ache in his side and neck. The sofa was clearly designed for sitting, not sleeping. He stretched to try and make it better, then stood and went into the kitchen.

JJ was the one cooking. He waved at Jackie, then asked him for help carrying food to Marvin, still in bed. Jackie agreed and the two of them went down the hall.

Marvin was awake. Sitting up, in fact, with Fluffington in his lap. He thanked the two of them for breakfast. While he ate, Jackie gave him a quick check-up, taking his temperature and asking him basic questions. The fever had distinctly died down, and Marvin reported that he felt really tired, but not nauseous, and he could breathe easier. Jackie and JJ were both immediately relieved.

“So it’s just a cold, then,” Jackie concluded, relaxing for the first time in a full day. “Sorry about all the trouble, you two.”

“Eh, better safe t’an sorry, right?” Marvin shrugged. “And ‘t was...nice to have you over.”

Jackie gave him a gentle smile. Then he said, “I’ll be going now, then. It was nice to be over, too. Though sleeping on the sofa kind of sucked.”

Well you’re wearing jeans, JJ pointed out.

“That’s not a problem, I sleep in jeans a lot.”

What?! JJ gasped, looking personally offended. Jackie, you didn’t tell me you were absolutely out of your mind! How can that be comfortable?!

Jackie laughed. “You get used to it.”

“No, ‘m with Jems on t’is one,” Marvin said, his words slightly muffled as he was speaking into his cup of apple juice.

“I used to take long night shifts at the hospital years ago, and I was so tired that I didn’t even bother to get into pajamas when I got home,” Jackie defended himself. “I mean, I don’t have night shifts anymore, but that’s still a leftover quirk.”

Marvin rolled his eyes. “Didn’ ye say you had to go?”

“Yeah, I told Volt I’d be back in the morning before he went to work at ten. I’ll tell him how you’re doing, by the way. Anti, too.”

“T’anks.” Marvin looked at him. “For...ev’ryt’ing. Be seein’ you.”

“Be seeing you,” Jackie repeated. “And thank you. Goodbye.”

JJ looked confused. He followed Jackie as he headed down the hall to the front door. Before he could leave, he asked, Did something happen?

“Oh. Uhh we had a talk last night,” Jackie said. “About some...serious stuff.”

Ah. I won’t pry, then, JJ said, backing off. Hey, Jackie. Thanks for coming over and staying and everything. I hope it wasn’t an inconvenience.

“It’s never an inconvenience to help a friend. Or, you know, even if there wasn’t a problem, I’d be happy to stay over any time.” Jackie laughed a bit. “Just gotta prepare a bit better next time. Get an air mattress.”

JJ smiled. Still, thank you. It...it really means a lot, you know? I’m sure Marvin’s glad you stop by to check on him when he’s sick, even when he protests. But remember to take care of yourself too, you know?

Jackie nodded. “Thanks, J. I will. But you have to remember that, too. I know you’re busy with your show and now Marvin’s sick and everything, but keep your stress levels down. You worry a lot about everyone else. Might spread yourself too thin.”

JJ sighed. It...has happened before. I’ll try.

“No, you won’t try. You will take care of yourself. Or let Marvin or one of us do it.”

Alright, I get the point, JJ smiled a bit. Hey, by the way, the show starts in January. Opening night is New Year’s Day, actually. You and Henrik and Anti can come see it for free, if you want. The families, too.

“I’ll keep it in mind,” Jackie said cheerfully. Rama and Michelle would probably like that. “I’ll see you later, then?”

See you later. Bye, Jackie.

“Bye, JJ.”

Jackie headed out, hurrying to his car, still parked where he left it last night. A few loose snowflakes started to fall from the sky as he climbed inside and turned on the heater. 

That was...a night. An unexpected one, but...one he needed. He reflected on it as he started to drive away. Then, he took the turn that would take him to Rama and Michelle’s house—his house. There was still time before he said he’d be back at Schneep’s apartment. He wanted to be with his family again.

[unprofessional-bard]

Chapter 5 - Red in the Face

Losing My Religion Series Masterlist

Unprofessional Bard's Masterlist

Previous Chapter • Next Chapter

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female!Reader/OC

Warnings: Mostly fluff but PTSD related events (panic attack).

Summary: An uneventful few months await the reader as her relationship with Joel and a Ellie develops - things take an interesting turn when Ellie stays over at the reader's house.

Word Count: 5.574

Author's Note: Yet another chapter named after a Mad Men episode, I think the name is fitting eheh... And as someone who doesn't drink coffee, I'm leaving what type of coffee Joel drinks to your imagination. Ahh anyways thank you all so much for reading!! 🥰

Enjoy!

Having a cup of coffee in the afternoon became a routine for you and Joel every two or three weeks. Sometimes once a week and with the company of Tommy or (mostly) Ellie, but you'd invite him over either after patrol or on your day off and just enjoy each other's company. You always had the morning shifts and Joel had the night shifts - sometimes you'd be assigned at the same time, but to different places or with different partners. The only thing you two had in common was your day off's, but not once had you two gone on patrol together, until one day Joel noticed how you came across traders on your patrol route more often than him and always brought him some coffee. He felt like he ought to repay that and invite you over for a different occasion other than dinner with the others. He grew quite fond of you in the following months after your first 'coffee session'. It was mid-June when he had asked Tommy to assign the both of you on patrol.

"Why?" Tommy smirked.

"She always comes across traders and brings me coffe, lord knows what she gives up for it..." Joel crossed his arms and stood in front of Tommy as he scribbled something down on his notebook in his office.

"So you're gonna give up patrollin' with me for our beloved Dolly, huh?" Tommy mocked offense as he closed the notebook and pushed it aside, looking up at Joel with a grin.

"She okay with you callin' her Dolly?" Joel raised his brows.

"She's okay with only us callin' her that."

"By us you mean-"

"By god, Joel," Tommy laughed heartily as he got up from his chair. "You can be so oblivious sometimes."

"What do you want from me?" Joel blushed lightly. "She'd break my fingers and shove them down my throat, I don't wanna be on her bad side."

"Yes, she would," Tommy nodded and stood across Joel, snickering. "But have you actually tried calling her that? She likes you, y'know."

Joel had thought on each word that came out of Tommy's mouth: Even if you hadn't admitted out loud, he knew you had a thing for Walt. He had a pretty keen eye for these stuff after all and didn't even bother giving the idea of you being interested in him a chance.

The twist was, his keen eyes will be proven wrong in the future. Twice.

Tommy and Maria were already aware of everything - even Ellie could see the way Joel looked at you, how his attention immediately shifted from whoever he was talking to or whatever he was doing to you whenever you made an entrance. Tommy broke the news of the patrol switch to Maria by saying that if neither of them had asked for it any sooner, I would've done it myself.

What about Walt? Well, yeah, about him...

Walt and Bonnie announced themselves as an official pair not long after your fight back in April. They lasted way longer than any of you had anticipated, which made you lose all hopes of getting with Walt, but it didn't bother you as much ever since Joel and you started going on patrols together. He was with you for a big part of the day and he was somewhat an even better company than Walt.

A few days after your fight, you asked Maria to assign you with Walt for that day's shift.

"Walt?" You called for him, nervous.

"(Y/N)..." His voice indicated that he wasn't hostile, just as stressed to confront you as you were.

"Let's talk?" You rubbed your hands together and he nodded in return, following you outside the gates. You rode on horses in silence for awhile until you reached the lodge lookout.

The both of you moved inside and Walt wrote down your names on the patrol logbook: 23/4; Walt/(Y/N); All clear -W.

You pursed your lips as you placed your backpack on the floor, then sat on a chair at the table. Walt sat across you - he always used to sit next to you, but now he was hesitant.

"Look, Walt," You began. "If I offended you in anyway-"

"No, (Y/N)," Walt interrupted you immediately. "I was being an ass, then in the heat of the moment we both said some stuff, but I hope I didn't cross any boundaries?"

"...No, but, you were acting so strange?" You looked at him, then decided to add: "Even Joel thought you were jealous of us until I told him that you had a thing with Bonnie."

Walt's eyes widened: "He- what?"

"I mean, if I didn't know you, I'd have thought the same..." You studied his face for a reaction, but only got a dumbfounded look. "Walt, look. I know you don't like Joel, but he's done good by me. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have been here."

Walt stared at you, a mixed expression made of guilt and embarrassment on his face. You got up and sat by his side when he stayed silent: "I don't know why you don't like him - you don't have to explain yourself to me. I owe him my life and- well, at least be respectful to him. For my sake."

"But, what about him?"

"Joel treats people the way they treat him. He's struggling to fit in - if he sees that you mean well, he'll treat you the same way."

Walt nodded, ashamed of his childish acts, but hugged you tight when you said Come here and opened your arms for him. You both hugged each other, glad that this tension between you was officially over; but you two were never the same after that. Your romantic interest died down in the following months and Walt started spending more time with Bonnie to the point of ignoring you and, well, Joel being made your official patrol partner didn't help the case. You were really curious to find out why Walt didn't like Joel, but you had already said you didn't care and decided to leave it alone.

Despite the awkwardness, the time you spent with Joel on patrol from mid-June til the end of November had made significant improvements on your relationship. At this point, everyone (Tommy, Maria and Ellie being the most) was impatiently waiting for either of you to kiss the other, but neither of you were aware of each other's feelings. Joel didn't want to make a move to avoid ruining what he had with you because, even if you didn't spend as much time with Walt, he still thought you had a thing for the redhead; thus his 'disinterest' discouraged you to make a move of your own. Although you were sure he somewhat fancied you -because, come on, no one can deny the tension between you two- you also didn't want to make things awkward.

But nothing would've been more awkward than what you had gone through on an eventful December afternoon.

Joel and you were about to go on patrol, when Maria caught up to the both of you: "Joel, Dolly, wait."

"What's up?" You asked as you were about to get on your horse.

"Chad was on the Creek Trails a few days back, he told me there were a lot of infected over there," Maria sighed, then gave you an apologetic look. "You need backup."

It took you a moment to understand that Tommy was, in fact, not going to be the backup: "Maria, no-"

"Too late." Maria shut her eyes and looked away when Walt approached from behind her. There he was, only a week and a half later after his breakup with Bonnie, his posture giving away the fact that the effects of the said breakup were taking a toll on him.

The tension in the air was suffocating. You whispered Fuck me... under your breath as Maria told him to ride with either Joel or you, as they couldn't spare another horse. Walt and Joel weren't on bad terms after your confrontation with Walt, but they just stayed away from each other. This was going to be a hell of a patrol.

"C'mon," you forced a fake smile to your lips and beckoned him to ride with you. He got up, sat behind you and grabbed the edges of the saddle of the horse, then all of you rode off.

There was a blizzard on the way, it seemed, for the weather was cloudy and the wind was sharp against your cheeks as you rode through inches thick snow. Focusing on your horse was a good enough distraction, but the road ahead was short. When all of you arrived, you began biting the insides of your lips.

Walt went up first, helping you up the rope and words weren't quite enough to describe your surprise when Walt also offered Joel a hand. He must've been shocked too, for he took a while to grab Walt's arm and pull himself up. Maybe today won't be so awkward after all! After writing down a new entry on the logbook, you listened to the two men as you pretended to go through the pages of the logbook.

"We shouldn't stay here too long," Walt spoke quietly. "Let's complete the route and go back before the blizzard hits."

"Agreed," Joel spoke and turned to you. "C'mon."

You gladly obliged as you really didn't want to be stuck with them in a blizzard. You didn't go through the Creek Trails too often as the route involved a river beside an old evacuated town, but you acted like it wasn't a big deal. Tommy was the first to show you the Creek Trails and it was going well until you reached the river. A scenario similar to the one with Joel right before you reached Jackson played out. Tommy was fortunately informed by Joel about your condition months ago, so he kept things mostly under control. He wasn't unfamiliar with the situation: There were many people in Jackson who suffered the same way you did from PTSD, but still, he never thought he'd see you like that.

It had been almost a year since you took this route and luckily, the current was slow, almost frozen. Going through the town, you all scouted the houses quickly. Everything seemed okay until you reached the supermarket, where Joel heard distressing noises from inside.

"We need a few people to secure the windows here," You said and got in position, rifle at the ready. You and Walt went in first, Joel following from behind.

"Just like the good ol' days, huh?" Walt whispered.

"You mean our patrol days or militarily?" You smiled, to which he replied Both.

Sweeping through the outer aisles were easy, nothing you hadn't done before. But the further you walked in, you noticed the spores beginning to appear: "Masks on, boys."

You pushed open a door slowly, only to be greeted by three clickers and a few runners in the main isle. The whole sweep went quietly for the most part, until a runner saw Joel.

"Joel!" You ran over to him. Joel, startled, turned around and leaned back on the glass to pull his pistol out but the runner was closer than he thought. It directly ran into him, pushing them through the glass and shattering it. You quickly shot the runner, but were horrified at the sight in front of you: The parking lot was swarming with infected.

You quickly hopped over to Joel's side and pulled him up, Walt right behind you. The noise had obviously attracted all the infected toward you all.

"Shit!" You jumped back as there was no place left to escape from the parking lot. Walt began shooting at them, giving Joel time to go inside, then followed you both back the way you came.

"This way!" Joel beckoned as he went through a different door which led to a long hallway. You put down a couple of runners before closing the door and ran to where Walt and Joel were.

"Through here," Joel said and entered a room to your right. He closed the door and the three of you pushed a vending machine in front of it, breathing heavily as the infected made their way into the corridor, kicking and scratching at the door of the room.

"We need to clear them out-" Walt.

"We can't," Joel interrupted him. "There are too many of 'em. We'll come back with more people but right now we gotta get outta here."

"Through here," you called them over to a hole on the wall. "Boost me up."

Joel and Walt made a move and stopped at the same time, Walt letting Joel go first, once more, to everyone's surprise. Joel pushed you up and you pulled yourself through the wall but lost your balance and fell: "Fuck-!"

You landed on your feet but you were sure you sprained -or maybe even fractured- your ankle when you landed and cried out in pain.

"(Y/N)?!" Both men shouted from the other side in panic, Walt quickly getting into position to boost Joel up: "Go, quick!"

"I'm fine," You hissed, quickly looking around the room to find it empty. "It's clear here."

Joel jumped down and kneeled beside you: "You okay?"

"My ankle, I-" You stared into Joel's eyes but with a loud crash, infected filled the room. Without wasting time, Joel dragged you toward a counter to your right and pulled out his pistol again. A great amount of anxiety washed over you - how the hell were you going to get out of this? And where the hell was Walt?!

But you knew you couldn't give into fear, not now. You always found a way out... Even though your ankle ached really bad and it began reminding you of the time when the Hunters-

You pushed yourself up to see how many infected you were dealing with. Relieved to see only two clickers and four runners, you looked over to Joel and he looked at you: "Cover me."

You nodded as he sneaked over to the closest runner and took it down without attracting any attention to himself. He took down the other one as well, but before he could approach the third, Joel stepped on a broken piece of glass and suddenly had four infected running towards him. You shot down the remaining runners before he retreated back to where you were, stunning a clicker with a brick in the meanwhile. You realized, to your horror, that you ran out of ammo at that moment and had to reload, but there was no time. Joel took down one of the two clickers with his remaining bullets, but neither of you could do anything about the last one. Joel grabbed you by the arm and helped you over the counter before the clicker could get a hold of you, but he pulled you with such panick and force, you fell on top of him with a Oof!

Joel must've hit his head - his movements slowed down and couldn't push the both of you away from the approaching clicker. Your ankle was twisted up in this position, which made you whine in pain as you tried to turn around with Joel's knife in hand, but couldn't. You growled and cried out, a buzzing in your ear similar to the stream drowning out the terrorising noises of the clicker as it made its way toward you.

"Joel, get up, come on!" Tears streamed down your face and you watched as he opened his eyes, which widened at the sight before him.

Joel hugged you by the waist, turned you around and pressed you down on the ground, covering your body with his before the clicker reached you.

Thud!

Your eyes were shut tight, the only thing you could hear was muffled voices of Walt grunting and sounds of stabbing as you struggled to breathe. You opened your eyes and looked to the left to see Walt stabbing the hell out of the clicker. You watched with terrified eyes as he slowly got up, mask covered in blood and looked over to the both of you, breathing heavily: "Y'all... y'all okay?"

Joel slowly raised his head up and looked at Walt, then back to you. Your eyes glowed with your tears as Joel stared at them - his right hand was holding the back of your neck and the left one was tight around your waist. Was he really about to sacrifice himself so that you'd survive?

Was he even aware what that would've done to you?

He got off you slowly, still holding you by the neck and turned to Walt: "Yeah- you clean?"

"Yup, I'm okay," Walt coughed and kneeled beside you. "We need to get out of here."

"She's hurt- Can you walk darlin'?" Joel asked, rubbing the side of your neck with his thumb in slow motions to calm you as your whole body trembled.

"I don't know," You whispered and sniffed. You grabbed both men's hands and pulled yourself up, but cried out when you tried to take a step forward, almost collapsing on spot.

"I got you," Joel walked in front of you and kneeled slightly, then Walt helped you up on his back. He grabbed your thighs and adjusted your form, then began following Walt out of the market.

"Joel..." You pressed your masked face against his coat and whimpered, hanging onto him as if your life depended on it.

"We're almost out, Dolly, you're safe," Joel reassured you. Luckily for you all, there were no infected outside but the weather had significantly gotten worse. Walt quickly got up on your horse and picked you up, making you sit on the saddle as Joel hopped on his own horse. You all rode off the way you came as fast as you could, barely making it back to Jackson without a delay.

The three of you took off your masks once you were inside. Joel immediately rushed to your side while Walt was helping you off the horse.

"I'll take her to the doctor," Joel grabbed you and carried you bridal style while Walt nodded and went over to the stables.

"It hurts really bad," You spoke as he carried you, voice cracking but feeling safer in his arms. "I- I think it's broken."

"You're fine Dolly... almost there. Katherine is going to fix you up, don't you worry."

It turned out that you had fractured your ankle and Katherine told you that had you taken a harder fall, you could've broken it altogether. You spent the night at the infirmary after she insisted, Ellie and some of the other kids staying with you for awhile before Katherine asked them to leave you so you could rest.

"You won't be getting rid of me this easily after you're back home!" Ellie had said before she left.

And she was quite right, for she was the one to help you back to your house with Maria the next day.

"Ellie, I'm fine, it's not like I have a concussion and broken ribs..." As much as you appreciated her help, you felt bad for taking up her time.

"You can't walk without crutches and I know for a fact that you're gonna get bored - you could use some company." Ellie sat beside you on your bed after Maria left. Katherine had said that your ankle was going to take around a month to heal and you wanted to bang your head against a wall then, not wanting to sit around. Maria and Tommy offered you to stay at their house a million times but you just wanted to be alone with your thoughts and trauma. You wanted to think about anything and everything and you knew no one other than Joel and Ellie would grant you such opportunity while being by your side. That's how your first day went: Ellie stayed until late hours and Joel visited when his shift was done.

"How're you feelin'?" He asked, standing by the bed where you'd been sleeping before he came.

"Alright I guess," You sighed. "I can't stand sitting around and doing nothing. It's like my first weeks here all over again."

Joel chuckled, then looked at the frame on your night stand, picking it up. It was a picture of you and Kurt in it: "I've been seein' this picture every time I came here and couldn't help but wonder who he is..."

You smiled and turned to your side a little, patting on the bed so that he'd sit down: "That would be Kurt. You could say he was my... mentor or something."

"Oh, right. Was he...?" Joel trailed off after sitting beside you.

"Yeah, he was there with them..." You nodded, remembering the day when you all got ambushed. "Eugene reminds me of him sometimes."

Joel nodded quietly and put the frame down: "I uh, I got one too. A picture of me and my... daughter."

You gave him a surprised look - you already knew his story, but you were genuinely surprised that he actually opened up to you about it after almost eight months. You felt a little guilty about having heard of this story before as he told you what had happened to Sarah. You keept quiet and let him vent, but hearing the story from Joel himself sent shivers down your spine - as if you were hearing it for the first time.

"I'm so sorry, Joel," You said once he finished. After a short moment of hesitation, you slowly put your hand on top of his. "I really am. I can't imagine how horrifying that must've been for you."

Joel whispered a small Yeah and looked away, not moving his hand from under yours and enjoying your small gesture. His thumb moved out under your own and rubbed it gently.

"I wish I could take a photo of you two right now!" Ellie suddenly appeared from the hallway, making the both of you jerk away from each other. She had gone to get something when Joel arrived a few minutes ago: "I wanted to stay here for the night, is that okay?"

Your eyes widened and so did your smile: "You don't have to, sweetie-"

"If I get too bored here, can she come and stay with you for a few days?" Ellie suddenly asked Joel.

"Now, Ellie, don't force her to do something she doesn't wanna do. She's too kind to decline."

You blushed a little at his comment and playfully slapped his shoulder: "Nobody's forcing me into anything, cowboy. Besides, it's your house - if I have a permission to stay, then I'll consider staying."

Joel smiled shyly: "You're right... Ah, what the hell, why don't you come over tonight?"

It was your turn to blush: "Not today, I'm afraid, I just want to sleep here for awhile."

"Alrighty then," Joel dropped his hands on his thighs, then got up. "Just let me know when you wanna stay 'n I'll come pick you up."

With that Joel left, wishing the both of you a goodnight. Ellie changed into her 'pyjamas' and curled up on the bed next to you before pulling the blanket over her body. The only light illuminating the room was the candle in you gas lamps on the nightstands on each side. You turned to Ellie - she seemed to be lost in her thoughts. You two were laying like you did in that cabin, the memory making you smile.

"So, when are you two gonna get married?" Ellie asked all of a sudden.

"Oh shush, Ellie," You squirmed and look away, making her laugh.

"I still cannot believe you two aren't together already!" Ellie spoke excitedly. "I don't know what's keeping you two... Don't tell me you still want Walt-"

"No, no," You blushed, running your fingers through your hair. "Hey, who says Joel likes me anyways? He's clearly not interested in me, Ells."

Ellie's expression turned serious. Looking you dead in the eye, she spoke, struggling not to curse: "You have got to be kidding me."

"What?!" Your eyes widened. You weren't sure if you wanted to hear the rest of what she had to say or not.

"No offense, (Y/N)," Ellie sat up. "I know Joel is blind, but I never thought you'd be as blind as him."

You weren't sure how to react, so you just stared off to the ceiling and thought: Joel was always so sweet toward you. He was patient, careful, gentle and protective... But wasn't that how he always was? You weren't really that special, were you?

"Oh god..." You sighed and covered your face with both of your hands. "Are you serious?"

"Oh, no I was just joking," Ellie rolled her eyes. "Of course I'm fucking serious!"

"Joel always had this silly idea that after all this time you were still into Walt," Ellie explained as you rubbed your face upwards and ran your hands through your hair. "I sometimes force a few words out of him about you and everyone knows that he has eyes for you... except for you it seems."

Your heart felt like bursting: "Oh dear lord, this can't be real..."

"Awh, look at you!" Ellie snuggled closer to you. "Blushing like a teenager, haha!"

"Says you!" You changed the topic and tickled her sides, making her drop to her side. "I may be blind with my own case, but I'm not blind enough to miss my Ellie's romantic shenanigans."

Ellie suddenly stopped laughing, face flushed red: "Wh-what do you mean?"

"Look who's blushing like a teen now," You smiled softly. "I've worked with children enough to see some things you think we can't see."

You honestly didn't have a clue she liked girls the first month you knew her. It all started adding up some time after Joel and her came back to Jackson. The kids there liked you and you liked them - they were mostly young teens who needed mentoring for patrols or with anything. You mentored Dina and Jesse for a while before Ellie arrived and Eugene began mentoring Dina. You saw the way Ellie got nervous around Cat - the way she blushed and stuttered while Cat was more confident around her. Ellie talked to you about everything but her own 'love life' and you never forced her to, whenever you cracked a few jokes, she'd immediately tense up and change the subject. After two or three times, it clicked - she was definitely into girls.

"How... how long have you known?" Ellie asked and got off the bed, turning around and doing her stressed finger gesture.

"Awhile now," You sat up as best as you could and stared at her worriedly. "Ellie, it's okay." She slowly turned around, panick spread across her face. "Are you okay sweetie?"

"No," Her voice cracked after a moment of silence.

You beckoned her back to bed beside you: "It's alright baby, there's nothing to be scared of..." She sniffed and climbed back to bed, finding her comfort in your embrace. "It's okay, Ellie."

"Does Joel know?" She asked quietly as you brushed your fingers through her hair, hugging her.

"No, I don't think he does. I haven't told anyone what I thought, if that's what you're asking."

"Oh, okay-" Ellie took a deep breath. "Thank you, (Y/N)."

"You'll tell him when you feel ready," You placed a small kiss on the side of her head. "This goes for anyone. Whenever you're ready, you'll tell them."

"But, what if they're not okay with it?"

"Well, fuck them." You smiled when she gave you a look. "If they can't deal with you for who you are, there's something wrong with them, not you."

The words seemed to have an effect on her, for her breathing calmed down and her eyes focused on a spot in your room, probably deep in thought. You two stayed like that for a while, Ellie eventually yawning and cuddling up to you after blowing out the candle on her side.

"Goodnight darling," You kissed her temple and blew out the candle by your side. "Love you."

"Love you too, (Y/N)," Ellie whispered sleepily, then fell asleep in your arms.

You felt like, after that, you had earned Ellie's trust completely. She became more like a daughter to you, which made things between you and Joel a little awkward considering he was like a father to her. You wondered if she thought of the both of you as her parents - if she felt the joy of having parental figures around her with the both of you. She'd come to you whenever she felt down or emotional- or for anything, really. You both had a factor in common which helped you both relate to and understand each other: survivor's guilt. It was upsetting, but you two had each other. You told Ellie what she wanted to hear and vice versa.

By New Year's, she gave you the most precious gift: A masterfully drawn picture of you... with Joel in a frame.

"Christmas comes but once a year!" Ellie chuckled at your reddening face. "I thought you might like this."

"Like?" You laughed. "I absolutely love this- Ellie, you're so talented. Thank you so much, sweetheart."

"Whatcha got there?" Joel leaned forward over your shoulder to take a look at the picture and his eyes widened immediately. "Oh..."

"Right? Isn't it beautiful?" You stared at the picture in awe, cheeks heating up.

"It really is," Joel turned his head to your face slightly, his nose inches away from your cheek. After Ellie had purposefully nonchalantly revealed that your interest in Walt had died a long time ago and that you had said this yourself, much to Joel's relief, he really began thinking on making a move when it was convenient. The problem was, he just didn't know how to, until Ellie came up with a gift idea.

"Did you get something for (Y/N)?" She asked Joel on patrol one day.

"What for?"

"Uh, the word Christmas ring a bell? Well, I found a frame for her, so she can put that picture of hers in it. She always complained about not coming across a frame for it, I think she'll appreciate it."

Joel thought on her words: He had completely forgotten about Christmas - it was his first after many many years, after all. Ellie noticed the thoughtful look on his face and spoke: "You know what? Why don't you give her the frame?"

"I- What?"

"You heard me," Ellie smirked. "I'll get her something else, you should give her the frame instead."

Joel had remained quiet then, but thought about Ellie's offer for awhile and, once he was back at home, an idea presented itself in his little workshop in his house.

"Y'know what?" Joel had given the frame back to her the next day. "You hold onto this, I'm gonna make her something."

And that was what you were greeted with right after you took your eyes off Ellie's gift: "I got a little somethin' for you."

It was a wooden frame, beautifully carved flowers on the corners and the picture of Alpha One in it. Your heart skipped a beat, your breathing coming to a stop, eyes widening at the sight.

You slowly took the frame from him with trembling hands. The happiness you felt was indescribable, did he actually take his time to make this? For you? Your eyes teared up: "My god... How did you get this?"

"You could say a little bandit helped me," Joel smiled over to Ellie, who was watching the both of you with an excited grin spread across her face.

You exhaled with a short laugh, looked between your gift and Joel and then, despite the cast around your ankle, pushed yourself up. His expression turned into a panicked one for a second before you turned around, giggled with tears rolling down your face and hugged him. It took Joel a moment to process what was happening, but he quickly returned the hug and wrapped his arms around your waist: "Thank you, Joel."

"Merry Christmas, Dolly," Joel sighed, content. A genuinely happy smile formed on his lips and his eyes closed unintentionally, finding the comfort he sought for so long in your arms. You felt like, his arms around your waist and chin resting on your shoulder - his body was made for yours, like puzzle pieces.

"Mistletoe!" Ellie suddenly appeared by the both of you, stepping on your seat with the said plant in hand, holding it above the both of you and shaking it.

You pulled away from him, hands resting on his shoulders as you stared at Ellie with embarrassment. Joel, cheeks red like the ribbon which held the mistletoe together, looked away shyly. You bit your lower lip and turned your head back towards him, gazed into his eyes with a soft smile playing on your lips. Your hands moved up to his neck slowly, eyes glowing. This cannot be happening.

Ah, what the hell, just go for it, were Joel's last thoughts before he pulled you close by your waist and pressed his lips to yours. A long overdue, passionate, deep kiss was shared between you two; a kiss that made everyone in the room cheer and clap at the sight.

"Finally!"

[drawlfoy]

Colorblind

masterlist request guidelines yes ma’am i’m back

pairing: draco x gryffindor!reader

request: yes! thank you kind anon :) this is the first request that really got me out of my writer’s block so i appreciate it!

summary: soulmate!au where the entire world is black and white except for your soulmate. y/n’s situation is a bit...unconventional. 

warnings: swearing and a little gore but it’s not explicit at all and just a mention

a/n: helloooooooo everyone! i know i’ve technically been “back from the dead” for nearly a month now, but this is the first time i’ve decided to jump back into writing. i’ve been working on the wonders of ohio bit by bit and have been horrified to see just how much my writing has deteriorated since last summer (when i was writing 1k words+ a day). i’d like to get into writing genuine original work during this quarantine, so i’m using my blog as a chance to polish up my own writing and work the kinks out before i touch my original ideas. thanks for being so patient with me !

music recs: figure 8 from peach pit, don’t delete the kisses from wolf alice, and bad things from cailin russo

word count: 3,098

Y/N frowned as she stirred the honey into her tea, watching the sugary swirls as they dissolved into the bottom of what she had been told was an amber drink. Her best friend, Tina, sat across from her in her snug Gryffindor robes, energetically recounting just how beautiful the color blue was.

“I had no idea, Y/N,” the brunette gushed, her cold triangle of buttered toast lying long forgotten on her plate as her hands added animation to her story. “You have to see it. He told me that the red in our robes brings out my eyes too--something about the color wheel and how green is opposite of red--and we made each other hold up our things so we could see what color its meant to be...honestly, it was such a dream...”

Even though Y/N was thrilled that Tina had found her soulmate in the convenient place of the Ravenclaw house--really, she was ecstatic for her friend--she couldn’t help but feel a little sad. She did quell the bitterness and envy that threatened to crawl its way up out of her throat, instead choosing to sit and pretend to listen as her own thoughts trailed off with a vacant smile on her face.

She’d been alive for 16 years, seen everyone there is to see at Hogwarts, traveled to every country that had a sizable young magic population, and had let her parents submit pictures of her to wizarding families all across the globe--only to still live in a dull world of simple blacks, whites, and greys. Friends like Tina had told her vibrant stories of the stunning hues of green, blue, red, purple, and gold, but Y/N had no way of knowing what they actually looked like, relying instead on her parents’ soft explanation of green as the color of life, blue as the color of peace, red as passion and anger, and yellow as the feeling of the sun hitting your skin after a long winter. 

Infuriating. She despised the security questions she had to fill out to open her Gringotts account (What’s your soulmate’s surname? What’s your favorite color?) and the unimpressed look of the goblin teller as they quietly conferred with her parents (”Sir, we rarely have complaints over this--statistically speaking, soulmates are found by the time a wizard or witch is old enough to handle money...). 

In other news, her love life was barren and dry, and at the end of the day, it was better to just not dwell on where she fell short. 

“I’ll stop going on about me,” Tina said, finally reaching down for her breakfast. “I want to hear about you. I’m so sorry that you have to put up with that crabby posh Daddy’s boy in Potions. You have my moral support. Always.”

“You mean Malfoy?”

Tina quirked an eyebrow as she took a sip of her own tea. “Yeah. Y/N, I have no clue how you’ve gone so long without being put off by that wanker. He’s so annoying. I know you don’t believe me, but you’re about to see for yourself in...erm..” She made a show of checking her pocket watch. “Less than an hour.”

“He doesn’t seem that bad,” Y/N countered. “I’ve spoken to him once or twice in the library. Doesn’t have much to say, but he was cordial. I’m not horrendously upset that we were assigned to be partners.”

“Did he know you were a Gryffindor?”

“I have no idea. Neither of us were wearing our robes, so I couldn’t tell you.”

Y/N’s friend rolled her eyes dramatically. “You’re going to be singing a very different tune come lunch. Trust me.”

<^>

The wooden stool that Y/N was perched on was uncomfortably wobbly as she waited, albeit a little nervously, for her potions partner to arrive. It had been an unwelcome selection process--or perhaps, lackthereof--that began with Slughorn reading off a canned speech regarding house unity and the importance of bridging the gap between old rivalries and ended with groups that consisted of one Slytherin and one Gryffindor and directions to create an immaculate Draught of Peace.

Not her favorite way to spend a Friday morning, but she admitted to herself that it could be far worse. She could be paired up with one of Malfoy’s goons--Crabbe or Goyle--who were by far much more obnoxious.

A slight movement in the corner of her eye pulled her attention back to the present. Y/N started at the dark figure standing by the empty stool next to her.

“Excuse me,” Malfoy said simply, placing his satchel on the table in front of them and sitting.

Y/N sent him a weak smile as she unrolled her parchment and began reviewing the ingredients. 

“I don’t mean to sound brash,” she began as she sorted the ingredients at their table, “but I’m pretty good at Potions. If you want to, you can just read the directions while I prepare everything.”

He seemed like he wasn’t quite listening to what she was saying, instead his eyes, unfocused and slightly cloudy, were settled on her braid that snaked around her shoulder.”Er, yeah. Sounds good.”

“Okay.”

As the pair began, Y/N couldn’t help but notice that Malfoy looked tired. His normally pristine and glowing skin looked dull and lifeless, decorated with dark eye bags under his slate-grey eyes. She was struck with a sudden desire to ask if he was alright but decided against it. The furrow in his brow as he glanced over the directions reminded her that they were simply partners for the week--and that Slytherins generally got into a hissy fit if people tried to act too buddy-buddy with them too quickly.

“Add the moonstone until it starts to steam,” he said after a few moments, apparently not noticing that she was already emptying the powdered moonstone into the cauldron. “Stir until completely dissolved.”

“Add syrup of hellebore.”

“Stir until the consistency is akin to cream.”

This went on for the rest of the lesson--Malfoy softly instructing her while Y/N consulted her own set of directions, just in case. As she worked, she couldn’t help but notice how unusual his hair was. It was unlike any other white she’d ever seen before--instead, it had some kind of warm hue to it. Y/N knew that no one her age actually had naturally white hair--Malfoy clearly had some iteration of “blond”, whatever that meant--but all the other light haired  wizards she had met had slightly grey tinges in their hair...not whatever he had going on. She shrugged it off and kept stirring.

An hour passed by much quicker than anticipated, and to her surprise, Malfoy never said anything even mildly irritating. Y/N stored this tidbit of information away with the interest of asking Tina why she thought he was such a dickwad. 

“I think that’s all we have to do today,” Malfoy said once they had added the porcupine quills and set the lid on for the night. 

“We really let it sit here until Monday?” she questioned, reviewing the parchment one more time. “That seems a little excessive.”

“Well, it’s not like--” He began waspishly before he took a breath and cast his eyes to the ceiling. “Er, I mean, I know that Slughorn casts a preservation spell on them over the weekend. There’s really no other way to do it without booking an entire day.” 

“I guess that makes sense.” 

He sent a surprisingly soft smile her way. It appeared that they had finished earlier than the rest of the students and had a couple more minutes until they were dismissed, so the silence around them was tense. Y/N decided to take a risk and ask something she assumed everyone, especially someone as allegedly ostentatious as Malfoy, liked talking about.

“So,” she began casually, twiddling her thumbs under the desk, “Have you found your soulmate yet?”

The few moments of complete and absolute quiet that followed after this question prompted her to send a glance over to Malfoy, who looked...completely stricken?

“Er....” His eyebrows furrowed as he looked her up and down. “Yes?”

Y/N had never had an interaction so awkward as she waited, tense and very weirded out, for him to just go ahead and pose the question back to her so she could break the ice and complain about how she’d searched far and wide for her soulmate and failed--but it never came. Malfoy just stared at her for another few heartbeats before he shut his slightly gaped mouth and turned to pack up his belongings.

Not another word was exchanged between them until Slughorn officially announced that they were all dismissed as long as their brewing stations were spotless. 

Malfoy was out the door before she even had a chance to say goodbye.

<^>

“So?” Tina sat at the edge of her seat, waiting for her friend to relay all the details of her potions adventure.

“Super weird,” Y/N answered. “He was nice. Didn’t say anything mean about my house or parents or wealth or anything. I asked him about his soulmate, though, and he totally clammed up.”

Tina’s eyes narrowed as she shifted on her bench and drew closer. “I haven’t heard a whisper of anything about his soulmate. Poor bloke probably doesn’t have one. I’m not surprised...no one deserves to be stuck with him forever.”

“No, that’s not it,” Y/N countered. “First of all, he’s not bad. I told you. Second of all, he told me he had one and looked at me like I was stupid for not knowing. It was weird.”

“I wouldn’t sweat it. He probably thinks he’s so important and sought after that all anyone talks about is him and was just offended that you didn’t know, I guess. This is what I mean. He’s such a prick.”

“Maybe.” Y/N found herself looking over to the Slytherin table, her eyes stopping on the curiously colored hair of a certain 6th year. He seemed especially down, hardly touching the spoon in his stew and choosing to look like the definition of angst instead. 

But in a very attractive way she admitted to herself. There was no denying it--Draco Malfoy was beautiful, in a tragic sort of way, like how paintings of imaginary places that you’ll never be able to actually visit for yourself are beautiful. 

His eyes snapped up to meet hers, jarring her out of her whimsical train of thought and bringing a blush to her cheeks. For once, she was relieved that no one could see her in color.

<^>

By the time Monday rolled around, Y/N was feeling more and more uneasy about her whole situation. Malfoy ignited some kind of weird feeling deep inside of her--almost like butterflies--as he absentmindedly tapped his lips with his quill, studying the directions sheet in front of them.

“How was your weekend?” Y/N asked, her voice a little pitchier than she would’ve liked. He arched a perfectly shaped eyebrow at this, hardly even bothering to glance her direction. 

“The usual,” he drawled. “I studied, mostly.”

“Nice. Way to keep us all on our toes.”

The slight smile that stretched across his face and the dimples that followed nearly made her knees weak, her hand shooting out to grasp the edge of the table before they gave in. “Yeah. You know me. The wild card.” His voice seemed bored, but she was just glad that the words coming out of his mouth weren’t entirely insufferable. 

Y/N sent him a soft smile, fiddling with the edges of her robes. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Tina watching them intently.

“We only have to stir it 12 times counter clockwise and 14 times clockwise and add the unicorn horn powder before we let it simmer until Wednesday,” Y/N mused as she finally tossed the parchment back on the table. “Easy work. We should be done in about a half hour, give or take.”

They made quick work of the directions, the smell of their potion taking an amiable lilac like scent. 

“I think that means we didn’t royally fuck it up,” Draco offered as she rolled her sleeves back down and settled into the stool next to him.

Y/N smirked at him, a glimmer in her eyes. “We? Don’t you mean me?”

He laughed stiffly before immediately sobering up and packing up his things. “Sure. I’m going to ask Slughorn if I can leave early. See you.”

With that, he got up and left her alone. At face value, Y/N didn’t expect the situation to mean that much to her, but it left a bitter taste in her mouth and stung more than expected.

Shake out of it, Y/N, she chided herself. What does it matter, anyways?

<^>

A knock on her dorm room shook her out of a particularly thrilling study session for her DADA exam, whose notes she promptly shoved into her satchel at the suggestion of a welcome distraction.

“Come in!” she called. 

The door opened to reveal a particularly devious looking Tina. “I come with questions.”

“Please distract me from that tragic exam tomorrow,” she moaned, throwing herself on her bed. “Anything is better than thinking about it.”

Tina’s lip quirked as she settled down next to her friend. “It’s about your dear Potions partner.”

“What about him?”

“Don’t think I didn’t notice how you were looking at him today.” Tina propped her chin up into her hand. “You like him.”

“I most certainly do not!” Y/N said hotly. “I mean...I think he’s cute, and his hair reflects the light in this really cool way, but no! I’m not an idiot!”

“Of course you’re not an idiot,” Tina soothed. “He’s objectively a very pretty person. No harm in appreciating that. And now that you’ve spent a little more time with him, and you’re realizing that maybe he isn’t an arsehole, I could totally understand why you’d develop feelings for him.”

“Don’t be ridiculous!”

“How am I being ridiculous?”

“He’s already found his soulmate, Tina. I’m not masochistic enough to want to pine after a boy who already has his person.” As the weight of the words sunk in, Y/N could feel her chest tighten for just a moment. Tina just kept watching as she moved to gently wrap a hand around her shoulder.

“So say I do like him, just a little bit,” Y/N continued as her voice grew softer. “Say I actually let myself develop feelings for him even though I know there’s no way he’s my soulmate. Say I actually give in and have to see him every day knowing that he’s in love with someone else. Don’t you think that’s a little too much for me? I want to find my soulmate! I don’t want to mess around with anyone unless it’s with them.”

Her friend was quiet, but she moved her arm to wrap around Y/N’s frame. 

“I’d just really like to find my soulmate already,” Y/N finished up. “And I’m afraid that they’re not even out there. So, no. No detours allowed.”

Tina smiled a little at this, sitting up to instead pat her friend on the back. “You’ve always been the more focused one. I respect that. But I am saying that there’s no harm in seeing other people while you wait.”

Y/N shrugged. “Yeah. Fairs. Now, I hate to say this, but I have a list of spells a metre long just waiting to be memorized for the exam tomorrow. I’d love to tell you the rest of all my gushy secrets once that’s taken care of.”

“Of course!” Tina kissed her friend on the cheek and skipped off. “Just don’t go too crazy studying. I still need a best friend to bitch to at breakfast.”

“No promises!”

<^> 

“Add a little more powdered moonstone,” Malfoy instructed from her right, “Just until it starts to boil.” 

Y/N went to reach for it, catching a glimpse of her partner on the way. There was something just so magnetizing about him, something so delicate and stunning. She couldn’t help but feel a quick twinge of envy for whoever his soulmate was. 

The sound of the moonstone slipping into the potion pulled her back into reality, and she quickly stirred to avoid an unwelcome explosion. 

“And now the chopped gillyweed.” 

Y/N turned to their stockpile of ingredients, only to see whole cloves of gillyweed.

“I have to confess something,” she said, still stirring vigorously. Malfoy snapped to attention so quickly it almost made her jump. “I’m shit with a knife. Can you chop it for me? I have to keep stirring this anyways.”

What looked like disappointment flashed across his face for just a moment before he stood up and reached for a knife. “Sure.”

Y/N nodded and turned back to the concoction, careful to make sure that the moonstone wasn’t clumping together at the surface as she waited for Malfoy to be done with the gillyweed.

“Fuck!” 

Y/N turned to see Malfoy’s hand covered in--no way.

His hand was covered in blood, as was the knife that was held tightly by his right hand. 

“Fuck, fuck, can you hand me a towel?”

Y/N couldn’t help but stare as the words from her parents floated back into her head (Green is the color of life, blue is peace, red is passion and anger...). 

“It’s red.”

“Sorry, what?”

“Your hand. It’s red.” Now that she looked closer, she could see hints of colors that she’d never seen before in him--a soft hue that reminded her of first kisses and the scent of roses in his cheeks and lips, a warm, sunny glow in his hair, and a cool, startling color in his eyes that seemed like the color for getting thrown into a cold lake on a summer afternoon.

He was staring right back at her, his eyes wide and his breathing quick. 

“It’s you, isn’t it,” she breathed. “It’s been you all along. If only you hadn’t worn those blasted black suits all the time instead of your robes..”

The corners of his mouth crinkled into a smile.

“Ms. Y/L/N, step out of the way,” Professor Slughorn interrupted, rolling up his sleeves and getting his wand out. “Draco, boy, this looks deep. Get on up to the infirmary now. Don’t dally.” 

“Meet me,” he whispered as he made to leave. “Tonight. In front of the library. I guess we have some things to discuss.”

“Yes, yes, I guess we do.” Y/N cheeks were hurting from smiling, and as he left the room, the color fading from her vision, she had never been so content to be in pain in her life.

final a/n: hi everyone :) welcome back! can’t wait to write more! sorry if this was a bit of a trainwreck...i haven’t written in a long time and this is the first thing i’ve done since college apps. all feedback is appreciated! thank you! also apologies for any plotholes or spelling errors! i wrote this in a day and i know it’s a little messy oops

[imagineaworlds]

Rules & Roses

“you’re late”

Written By: @desperately-bisexual​

Request: None.

Warnings: Cursing, mention of death. Pretty sure that’s it.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Non-binary!Reader x Emily Prentiss (poly triad)

Word Count: 2046

“You’re late,” I said to him while grinning. He shook his head, trying to stop himself from laughing so that he could focus on running up to me.

Aaron Christopher Hotchner was his name. Though I had learned a lot about him since we officially started talking on that cold Tuesday morning, I still thought of him as that six foot Nordic God. He hated that nickname, though. No matter how many times I used it, he never gave in, but I liked teasing him with it. Only two weeks had passed since we first started talking, and yet it seemed like we knew each other a lifetime. More than that, actually. My worries of talking to a stranger faded quickly the more we passed each other on the trail, then would chat as we walked to our cars. It was a nice, unspoken ritual we had. But it always started like this. No matter if it was warm or cold, sunny or cloudy, busy or quiet, we met at that park bench at the top of the U-turn. Usually, we ran beside each other, or he would be waiting up for me. This time, I was waiting on him. That wasn’t usual.

“How am I late?” he asked.

I looked at my watch. “It’s 7:17.”

“So?”

“You never reach the bench later than 7:15.”

Aaron smiled and put his hands on his hips to help him catch his breath. “Who’s stalking who now?”

“I never said you stalked me. Those are your own words.”

“Ha. Ha.” He panted for another second. “My son woke up late, so I got here late.”

I froze. During our little conversations here and there, he had never once mentioned anything about having a family. He didn’t wear a wedding ring, he seemed more than happy to flirt with me, and he never, ever said anything about having a son. This whole time, I thought he was an available man. I would have never flirted with him if I knew that he was taken, that he had other promises and responsibilities besides meeting me, practically a stranger, in the park every morning. Of course someone like him would have been snatched up by someone else. Of course the one person I saw myself potentially getting involved with since moving to D.C. was the one person I couldn’t have. My fucking luck, right? I was so stupid. How did I not see it before? Why did I get involved in all of this in the first place? I promised myself I wouldn’t talk to a stranger, and I broke that promise for him. I promised that I wouldn’t let my desperate urge for sex and love blind my ability to read social queues and dictate what was good and bad for me— and I fucking broke that promise. I saw him— I felt his hands on my hips— and everything I had learned from past experiences flew out the window. For a moment, for a blissful, wonderful moment, I forgot about Lauren because I had all of my focus on the Nordic God. A Nordic God that was taken. How fucking ridiculous.

Aaron sat down next to me. I scooted away, and he immediately noticed. A couple of days ago, I asked him what his job was at the FBI, and he told me that he studied the behavior of serial killers in order to find them. When he cracked a joke that his ability to “profile” serial killers was a curse that affected every aspect of his life, I asked him if he could profile me. Profiling was putting together all of the behaviors he spotted in someone in order to tell what kind of person they were, are, and could potentially be. Aaron laughed. He said that he had already profiled me the day we met. “Your eyes were on my friend the entire time,” he said. “Her name’s Emily, by the way.” So, that had confirmed that it wasn’t Lauren I saw. Though I was somewhat relieved, I was also disappointed, and Aaron noticed. He asked me why I was staring at her, and I simply dodged a real answer by telling him that I thought she was someone else. His profiling skills seemed to tell him I was lying. Despite the fact that he knew I wasn’t telling the truth, he didn’t pry. He never did. When I moved away from him on the bench, however, and he noticed, that was the first time I ever heard him get serious with me.

“What is it?” he asked me quietly and sincerely. I shook my head. “Y/N, it’s not what you think—”

“Why…” I hesitated for a beat. “Why would you keep flirting with me if—”

“My wife died years ago, Y/N. That’s what I’m trying to tell you.”

If I wasn’t embarrassed before, I was as red as a fucking tomato, and this time for all the wrong reasons. Originally, I had simply assumed that him having a son meant that he was still with someone. My first mistake. Then, I thought that it all meant that he didn’t like me, that he had been stringing me around for no reason, that maybe I was seeing between the lines. My second mistake. Now, I was embarrassed because I had made a complete fool of myself by tensing up at the thought of him having a kid— something I really didn’t mind, actually— and then I admitted that I thought he was flirting, all while practically pushing him away. I fucked this all up. Why was it that he made me trip over my tongue like this? I mean, he was always in my head since that first day we met and I felt his hands on my hips; and I found myself wanting to spend more time with him and impressing him. All of that had just been flushed down the drain. Any chance I had to keep being this happy and distracted had just disappeared because I had been stupid.

“I’m sorry.” I did a lot of compulsive apologizing around him. Because he made me trip over my own tongue, I always happened to say the wrong thing, so I constantly needed to apologize, which I could tell he found adorable, but I found it to be humiliating. “I didn’t mean to force that out of you.”

“It’s okay. It’s been so long, and I’ve had to tell so many people; I’m neutral about it these days.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“If you say sorry one more time, I’m going to start feeling bad.”

“Sorr—” I caught myself before laughing. “That’s going to be a bad habit to break.”

“All habits are hard to break.” He shrugged, leaned back, and looked forward to make the feeling between us casual again. “New rule, no more apologizing.”

Part of getting to know each other was making rules in order to make ourselves comfortable. I didn’t pry about his work, he didn’t ask me any more about his friend Emily. I didn’t stare below his belt (a personal rule I made for myself that I never disclosed to him), and he didn’t stare too long at my breasts when I would wear a low cut or tight shirt (a rule he made for himself that went unsaid). The rules would come up occasionally, but only when we were sitting on that park bench surrounded by roses. The parking lot, however, was fair game. Because that was the last time we would get to see each other until the next day, which was never guaranteed since he traveled so much— just like Lauren always did— we both got to break our staring rules until we would get into our separate cars. This new rule about apologizing didn’t seem like just a roses rule, though. If I had to guess, Aaron was going to keep an eye on me to make sure I wouldn’t  break this new rule.

I nodded. “Okay, fine. But, no more being late,” I said. He also nodded. “And, I need a 6AM warning every time you won’t be here.”

Aaron looked at me. “How am I supposed to do that?”

“Phone,” I demanded while holding out my hand. Aaron urgently dug into his pocket, racing to grab his phone before I could change my mind about giving him my number. He was too chicken shit to ask for it, so I didn’t mind taking that first step for him. Afterall, it was the most I could do since I totally messed up by getting uptight about his son. Speaking of which, when I turned Aaron’s phone on, I saw a picture of him holding his son, both of them smiling ear to ear after what looked like a victory after one of his son’s soccer games. I felt myself melting. “He’s adorable.” He had blonde hair, which wasn’t like his dad at all, but the brown eyes, lips, and nose were all a mirror image of Aaron.

“His name’s Jack.”

“How old is he?”

“Nine.”

I smiled at him before looking back down to unlock his phone and put my information into the Contacts app. When I was done, I turned it off and handed it back to him. “There. Now you can text me at 6AM every time you know you’re not going to be here.”

“And what about… other than 6AM?” He was biting his lip again. I always knew that he was flirting with me when he would bite his lip like that. He was the professional profiler, yet he couldn’t have been more obvious. One would think that he knew how to hide his tells better than that, but he really seemed to suck at it. “Can I call you tonight, maybe?”

“For what?”

He hadn’t anticipated that I would nudge him back with a question. “I—” He didn’t know what to say. I giggled. “Is it too late to take my rule back so that I can say sorry for being too forward?”

“Yeah. It is. Sometimes it’s okay to be forward.” I stood from the bench, giving him the idea that it was time to go. He stood, too, taking my lead because he seemed like a lost puppy that needed to be told what to do. “I get off work at seven. You can call me for whatever it is you have on your mind any time after that.” I jumped on my toes to warm myself up, also testing to see just how long he could keep his eyes on mine and not one any other part of me that was a little more… distracting. “I’ll race you to the parking lot.”

“What happens if you win?”

“Who said there needs to be prizes?”

“The new rule I just made,” he said like it was a tease.

I squinted at him. “You can’t just make rules up for your benefit, Aaron.”

“Well, if you win, Y/N, I’ll stop making up random rules.”

“And if you win?”

I saw his answer coming from a mile away, but I still felt myself smiling when he said, “I take you out for dinner after our call tonight.”

“Deal.”

Aaron wasn’t prepared at all yet, but that didn’t stop me from beginning my dash down the path. Though I was inevitably going to let him win, I still had to put up somewhat of a fight to make his win believable. Aaron seemed to notice immediately. Before I could make it very far, he was already speeding past me, intent on winning so  that he could take me to dinner. Dummy. I wasn’t trying very hard to win. He didn’t seem to notice, though,even as we reached the parking lot where he claimed his victory. He slowed to a stop. As I caught up, he turned around and smiled.

“You’re late,” he teased me.

I rolled my eyes. “Pick me up at eight.” I immediately started making my way towards my car, which gave Aaron the chance to break his rule so that he could stare at me for a little longer than he was supposed to. “And don’t be late!” I called back to him.

------------

criminal minds family: @peggy1999​ @gorgeousdarkangel​  @alex--awesome--22​ @oceaneblu​ @brithedemonspawn​ @absolutemarveltrash​ @bshelley322​

[demonslayerimagines]

Here’s another story I wrote for @mevrouwrozestudios for our 2nd story/art trade! The prompt was some rescue fluff between her OC Nonaka and Inosuke! I hope you enjoy!

~ Mod Nezuko 🌸

Antidote of the Heart

The rumors of a mysterious, small village in swampland were being told around the country. It was humid, but cloudy as if it was about to rain. Nonaka walked carefully on the path toward this village. There were rumors of a plague spreading to every civilian, with some of them going missing. The signs of it were paleness, weakness, and a bite mark somewhere on the body. Everytime someone seemed to be cured, they'd be back in their sick state the next morning. Shinobu suspected a demon, so this is how Nonaka found herself stepping cautiously through the muddy trail. She was just to figure out if it was a demon or just a plague and report back by midnight! Nonaka felt a bit out of her element, the farthest she's been from the Butterfly Mansion in a while. Shinobu had the utmost confidence in her, so Nonaka was ready to do a great job. Even if she had to be away from her Inosuke.

The village was in sight, small huts and houses were all near the lakeside. Nonaka stepped into it and noticed the lack of people, all the doors and windows were shut. It felt like a ghost town, empty with only the breeze bringing a sort of life to the area. Nonaka felt a chill crawling up her back as she slowly walked around, looking for someone to question. Nonaka finally saw an older-looking man standing near the far exit of town. There were strange tracks leading out into the swampy forest.

Nonaka approached the man and noticed his troubled expression. “Now, who might you be, young lady?” the man spoke with a strict tone. Nonaka gulped and showed her wooden box, full of first aid supplies. “Sir, I was sent by the closest village to see what was going on out here. I’m a doctor’s assistant and heard there was a plague spreading” The man huffed, but looked melancholy, “A plague is the least of our worries...If you’re smart, you’ll go back to once you came and forget that this place exists” Nonaka wanted to ask more, but the old man gave her the cold shoulder and walked towards the closest hut.

Nonaka knew something was amiss, but wasn’t quite sure what the danger was yet. Noticing the tracks again, Nonaka looked at them closely. The tracks were quite large, furrows made in the ground in a wavy pattern. She knew whatever made these had to be the problem and began to follow the strange trail into the dark bog…

~~~~~

It was midnight, the butterfly mansion glowed with the light of candles in the dark of the night. Shinobu stood outside, waiting for an answer from Nonaka. Tanjiro, Zenitsu, and Inosuke were all relaxing in the baths after their last day of physical therapy. They had come back from a big mission in the city and had spent a few days there to heal up. Tanjiro seemed to be the only one who really focused on their training though. Zenitsu was fawning over Eiko, a new ally who had helped them in the city and who had protected Zenitsu in his time of need. Inosuke on the other hand was constantly trying to impress Nonaka, the two had begun constantly flirting and talking with each other.

They had officially begun to court after their herb adventure a few weeks ago. Inosuke was very proud to be the first of the group to actually get a girl! Zentisu was incredibly jealous about it. Inosuke and Nonaka were inseparable before training and after training. Inosuke gave her lots of hugs and loved to lift her up when she least expected it. That's why when she mentioned her next mission, Inosuke felt a pang in his chest. He wanted Nonaka to stay with him in the mansion! Who knows what could happen to her alone out there! Tanjiro mentioned that the feeling was called worry, surprised that Inosuke could feel that with the way he goes head first into battle. There was nothing to be done though as Nonaka gave him a kiss goodbye a day ago.

The three boys stepped out of the bathes in their casual kimonos. They walked out to see Shinobu waiting for them with a white kasugai crow, Inosuke immediately knew it belonged to Nonaka. Shinobu had a serious look on her face as she spoke, “Nonaka has gone missing and was unable to report back to me. I want you three to leave at once to find her-” Inosuke immediately ran past her in a panicked state, going to get his blades and clothes. Tanjiro nodded at Shinobu and took Nonaka’s crow. Zenitsu’s eyes widened and his hands shook slightly, “C-Can’t I stay o-or can Eiko-chan come with us?!” Shinobu smiled, but shook her head. “Eiko and I must meet Mitsuri for important matters, but I’m sure the three of you will do fine! If not, you can just come back for some more physical treatment” Zenitsu whined as he dragged himself to get his things.

Inosuke wrecked the room to find his things. He slipped on his boar mask in a rage. Whatever has his Nonaka will never see the blessed light in the morning. Tanjiro and Zenitsu quickly gathered their things, but Inosuke barely noticed him as he stomped out of the room.

Inosuke waited outside on the cobblestone road, Tanjiro thanked the butterfly girls for their help while Zenitsu was holding Eiko’s hands and begging her to marry him quickly! “COME ON YOU CHICKENS! WE BETTER GET THERE BEFORE THE SUN RISES OR I’LL BRING THE BOTH OF YOU DOWN!” Inosuke yelled with passion, meaning every word. Zenitsu yelped and hid behind Eiko, “SAVE ME!” Tanjiro only nodded, understanding Inosuke’s feelings of concern for his loved one. Tanjiro grabbed Zenitsu by the haori and started dragging him down the path. Inosuke huffed, hiding his fear under layers of anger, ‘She better be ok…’

~~~~~

As the new moon hit the horizon, the three demon slayers ended up in the same path as Nonaka. The village close, Tanjiro could smell blood and a slight poisonous scent in the wind. It led them to the back of the small village where the same exit stood. Inosuke noticed the smaller footprints in the mud. It had to be her...Why did she go off on her own?! Inosuke felt himself tear up in his mask, not wanting to think of the worst. His legs took over, running ahead without any thought for himself. Tanjiro’s voice had called to him, but the sheer fear made Inosuke unable to hear much else except his beating heart. She had to be alive...Inosuke couldn’t take being alone again...

He ran up the steep path and saw a bigger house with the sliding door busted open. Inosuke could hear his partners running up behind him, but he ran inside alone. Needing to find out the truth for himself first. Once Inosuke was inside, he noticed the smell of blood was heavy in the air. Around were the bodies of the missing villagers, eaten by a demon. Inosuke almost missed the pink see through material that was lying by his feet. Inosuke kneeled down and felt it in his hands, eyes widening. Nonaka’s haori, the rose pattern slightly stained with drops of blood. Inosuke felt his body move on his own, screaming his inner pain to the heavens. Gripping the haori to his chest, his screams were wild and filled with anger. The mere thought of his love being gone was too much to bear…

Inosuke felt a comforting hand on his shoulder. “She’s not dead, I smell a sweet scent in the air. It has to be her, I distinctly remember her breathing style from training” Tanjiro spoke softly, breaking into Inosuke’s rough exterior. Inosuke understood, tying his love’s haori around his waist. A new determination surrounding him to find her and kill the motherfucker that hurt her!

~~~~~

Tanjiro was in the lead, following the scent. Inosuke close behind, gripping the haori tightly. Zenitsu took up the rear, every little thing making him jump. Zenitsu screamed in fright as a snake slithered past his feet. “This place is full of snakes and other small reptiles...What a strange home” Tanjiro spoke up, quietly. Inosuke shrugged, used to the wildlife and not afraid of a puny snake.

The three happened upon a large sliding door, Tanjiro put a finger to his lips and slowly opened the door. There in the large room was a demon. A male with long blackish green hair in a slick ponytail that went down to the middle of his back. His eyes were orange with thin black slits. His teeth were long and sharp, two fangs jutting out from his mouth. He was muscular as well, but the main thing was that his lower half was a long dark green snake tail. A half man, half snake demon. Inosuke was only interested in the figure wrapped in the tail though. It was Nonaka! She looked pale, her beautiful brown eyes looking dull, and a large snake bite was in her neck.

Inosuke took out his sword in a fit of rage as it built back up in his core, “OI! PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE!” The snake turned and grinned mischievously, “Ho ho ho, so more demon slayers enter my nest! Did you miss your little doctor? It seems she's also caught my ‘plague’” Tanjiro’s eyes widened, “The poisonous scent...He’s been injecting venom into the villagers and Nonaka!” The demon began to laugh, crazily, pissing Inosuke off even more. “Your little friend has had my biggest dose yet! That's what she gets for entering my domain!” the demon said between laughter. Nonaka looked in pain, barely able to look at Inosuke. Inosuke had enough, rushing quickly to stab the thing in the head. The snake dodged in the last minute at lightning speeds, as fast as a predator in the wild.

Tanjiro unsheathed his sword, leaving Nezuko’s box with Zenitsu to protect. Tanjiro took the side Inosuke wasn’t on and went for the tail to stop the demon’s wild movements and to free Nonaka. The snake smiled wide as Tanjiro’s sword hit the snake scales and slid off. No damage had come to the tail. Tanjiro’s eyes widened as the tail swung back and hit him hard against the wall, trying to crush him. Inosuke growled loudly, air coming from the nostrils of his boar mask, jumping up and bringing his serrated swords down on the snake. The demon screamed as Inosuke’s blade sliced between the scales, tearing them off and cutting the tail in half. The other half of the tail wiggled wildly in an unsettling way, releasing Tanjiro. Inosuke pushed Tanjiro away, “BACK OFF! THIS IS MINE!” The demon slid to the side and moved back to pounce at Inosuke, going for a bit to the chest. Inosuke held up his blade and the snake bit onto it, cutting his mouth as the two fought for dominance in the fight.

The two fought like a wild boar and snake in the wild, pushing against each other for the upper hand to kill their prey. Inosuke almost lost his footing as he was straining to keep the fangs away from his skin. He looked to Nonaka who had been released when the demon went for him. She sat there weakly holding herself up, but Inosuke read her lips as she tried to speak, ‘I-Inosuke...You’re so s-strong...I know you’ll s-save me...I love you!” Her silent words were enough for Inosuke to find himself, refocusing and twisting around. His flexible body twisting around with ease and slicing the demon’s head in half from the mouth.

In that moment, the demon remembered being an outcast, loving his pet snakes. The villagers were afraid of him so they broke into his home and killed his dear pets. The demon wanted revenge on the town and to make them suffer forever. Turning into a demon gave him that ability, but he really just wanted to live in peace with his snakes…

~~~~~

Nonaka began to awaken in a makeshift cot. She felt the humid heat and knew she was still in the swamp. The last thing she remembered was Inosuke fighting for his life and hers. His bravery and quick thinking as he used his strengths to win. Then Shinobu showed up and...the rest was very fuzzy. Nonaka opened her eyes fully, she was in a small hut with a few others who looked sick from the venom. Shinobu had a vile of purple venom with a few other medicines and was mixing things together. Shinobu had figured out how to reverse the effects of the venom by making an antidote with it. Tanjiro and Zenitsu were helping and giving medicine to sick villagers, but where was Inosuke?

Nonaka felt someone nuzzle up to her. Inosuke was snoring softly with his mask off while cuddling next to her on the floor. Nonaka blushed hard and sat up, quickly. Inosuke opened his eyes a bit and smiled at her. Before Nonaka could say a word, Inosuke sat up and met his lips with hers. His arms went around her and when he pulled away, she noticed her haori was on her shoulders. “I-Inosuke! I just woke up!” Nonaka exclaimed, her whole face turning as red as a strawberry. Inosuke chuckled, “Yeah! And I saved you! It was all me Nonaka!” Inosuke said as he flexed a bit, moving closer to her. Inosuke smiled wide as he held her against him. Nonaka heard his happiness, but felt him shaking a little. She knew that this all must’ve been hard for him. Nonaka returned the hug, feeling Inosuke’s worry wash away and being replaced with love as he hugged tighter.

[ihascheseberger]

so. feel free to skip this post, it’s kinda just me rambling. and having a crisis. yanno. the norm.

so i updated my profile picture last night. i didn’t think it would really mean much to me. it was mostly just bc i changed my hair and putting on a new outfit. i tried to make it mostly the same as the old one because i feel like i haven’t changed much.

(btw i used @ummmmandy ‘s piccrew.me art. all art credit in this post goes to her. she’s 12/10 amazing.)

just for reference, this is what my pfp used to be.

(credit to @ummmmandy )

i think that anybody who knows me irl would say this is pretty accurate as of three-ish months ago. but with more damage to my hair lol.

bright and happy and comfortable. that’s what this looks like to me. i had stars in my eyes, i felt like i could see my future unfold in front of me and it seemed wonderful.

i had a wonderful boyfriend, i was earning money from work, i was able to go to therapy every other week instead of every week, i had all the friends in the world, i felt clear.

then the last three months came crashing down upon me.

they were horrible. my boyfriend (of two years, might i add) decided he was going to move across the country with his family and that he didn’t want to do a long distance relationship. i started saving money for school, so i had less of it coming in for personal stuff. i started going to therapy every week again. i felt like my friends started dropping like flies because of my then-boyfriend moving.

that’s where i’ve been for the last few months. i’ve been dealing with life. as all of y’all know. that ain’t easy. of course i had my few best friends to help me with it but it’s hard yanno?

so because i knew that my ex boyfriend was moving i started preparing for it mentally. i started coping. we stayed together up until he moved. that was a few weeks ago.

now i say that the last three months have been hard, but these last few weeks have been worse. he and i are officially not on speaking terms, even though we left each other in an extremely healthy way, i keep impulse spending the little money i have, i talk to one (1) person that’s not family daily. and my therapy sessions are all over the place because a group therapist quit and now my therapist needs to cover that.

i can not describe how i’ve been feeling except for cloudy. where as three months ago, i could see a future ahead of me, now i can’t. i can barely think about what i’m going to eat for lunch without getting overwhelmed. i like to pretend that i still have a goal to work toward, but right now that goal is just to get through the day.

that’s where this little bitch comes in.

(credit: @ummmmandy , your art isn’t a little bitch btw. i am.)

this bitch went back to her natural hair and cries over it. she chopped off all her dead ends so it would look healthy. she started wearing dark clothes again.

[seditionsaurus-rex]

I took vacation from work last week and we went to some really stunning outdoor places less than 30 minutes from my front door because it be like that when you live in the Pacific Northwest.

I

Live

Here!

I live here! I was born and raised here! I'm so lucky! I didn't even realise how lucky I was until I was a whole adult! I have rivers and mountains and trees and fields and flowers and green and blue and even beaches and desert if I go just a little bit further than I did last week!

I took my partner because they're from out of state and they love the landscape here. I'm not convinced they didn't move here more for it than me (jk jk 💚) I took my kids because, my god, it's awe inspiring and makes you feel both so connected and so insignificant in a really good way, I want them to see it.

I want them to see it.

I want them to see it before it's gone.

When I was a kid way back in the early 90s I remember in school they really harped on recycling and global warming and the hole in the ozone layer and science and about how we had to work really hard to save the world and none of it seemed real. None of it seemed real while we had a foot or two of snow a couple times every winter and summer days sometimes dipped below 70 degrees and every spring and fall was so full of precipitation I never batted an eye about wearing flipflops in a thunder storm.

It was 116 degrees yesterday.

That's the hottest it's been here, ever.

Which would just be a wacky thing that happened in a storied history of wacky things happening here like mountains blowing their tops or exploding whales or bigfoot.

Except now every time something like this happens I go over the frightening and lengthening list of all the wacky climate-related changes that have happened since I was a kid with my kids who have been here only a decade give or take and my partner who has been here less than a year.

Because I need them to know.

I tell them about the mountain in the first picture (and it's cousin, Mt. Hood, not pictured but also visible from my every day life) almost always being covered in snow before. How eerie it's been maybe the last five years to see the snow almost gone by mid-June and not return until the middle of winter. For the snow to go so fast this year that it was only a few cloudy days where it was invisible and when it reappeared it had transformed.

That there were wildfires down the river a couple years ago so near to where the second and third pictures were taken that I wouldn't have been able to take them that year. When it rained ash from the fires so much people compared it to the aftermath of the explosion of Mt. St. Helens in the 70s. I had never seen ash raining in my life before. That I wouldn't have been able to have driven east past the freeway exit I take to pick my one kid up from their other parent's house because the fires were that close.

The second picture was taken from past the next exit east.

And in the third picture there are brown patches I'm not convinced aren't scars from those fires.

And those weren't even the fires last year that choked us so bad they closed school right after it had re-opened from COVID.

As a kid, I never got to stay home from school due to air quality so bad we didn't have a scale to measure it.

As a kid, I never heard on the news about cities who's names I knew and who's streets I had set foot on being evacuated due to wildfires.

Or destroyed.

As a kid I never had to leave my house because the air was so bad and the edge of the evacuation map for the local wildfire kept inching closer and closer to my address; leave to go stay with family on the west side where there were other wildfires also burning worryingly near. I never had to do that like one of my children did last fall.

Those are the big ones among the hotter and hotter summers, the drier and drier winters, the strangely off-season March snow flurries, and all the other little changes I've seen happen in about 20 years.

And now it was 116 degrees yesterday and it's real. This is real. Climate change is real and I don't know how anyone who thinks it isn't can be taken seriously and given a platform.

I had to bite my tongue and fold my hands tonight to keep myself from grabbing my kiddo by the shoulders and looking in his eyes and scaring him by telling him "Look! Look at all these beautiful places we go! When we have picnics! When we go on drives! Look at the trees and the water - you've touched the water! The cold, cold water! It's amazing! It's so amazing and wonderful and there are people who want to take it from us. From you. From your children, should you have them. From tourists who come to see it and are humbled by it and better for it. From our friends and family and neighbors and all the people who will move here and grow to love this land as much as we do because of how majestic it is. We have to do something! We have to save it! I'm so sorry we didn't do better before! Maybe when you grow up you can save the world!" Because if I want him to grow up well adjusted enough to have a chance to be able to do anything about any of this a good place to start is probably not being an unhinged, frightened parent shouting at a 9 year old about climate change.

Which I guess is probably what my teachers were trying to say almost 30 years ago.

Which is why I'm making this post. Because I need somewhere safe to be a little bit unhinged about how all of this feels.

Because I need you to know.

I don't have any answers. That's not what this post is about. Recycling and unplugging our appliances and driving our cars less aren't going to do it. COVID proved a lot of the "start at home" tactics are futile. There are a handful of entities doing this to the world and with a pretty cursory Google search you can find out who. If you're in the US, write emails or letters or place phone calls to your elected officials at every level of government. Call out idiots who are trying to protect financial interests and not the livability of our world. Write emails and letters and place phone calls to media that give those idiots platforms. Vote. Go outside and touch grass and look around you and see what you have to lose. Don't lose hope, Science(TM) keeps saying this is reversible.

I'm sorry to my, like, 8 followers this was so long... I just had a lot of feelings tonight ❤

[birdwonder]

Hi! I've been watching Brooklyn 9-9 and I just had a thought: a detective!reader who's like Jake Peralta 80-90% of the time (and who's also a stand-user) with Bruno. Maybe reader helped him when he was injured but didn't know that he's a part of mafia but then boom, they meet again when reader went undercover maybe, so reader is just ":0!!!" Sorry if it's weird, have a nice day/night!

|| so sorry this took so long ! i tried to watch some Jake Peralta scenes to help me since i haven’t watched Brooklyn 99 before but i didn’t really capture his character at all. the mood of this story is like. entirely different from the request and i didn’t add the stand user part bc i forgot- sorry!  it was meant to be better but somehow my tab deleted with my first version of the story. :,) honestly i’d be happy to try again for a more light hearted story if you want to request again!

Bruno Bucciarati | Second Meetings

“Truth be told, I never wanted us meeting like this,” he confessed, wine glass in hand while he purposefully turned it in circular motions to watch the red liquid swirl. It was like you - rouge lips, red dress and the perfect pair of heels to match.

“Honestly, I didn’t think we’d meet again.” You laughed softly, your own wine glass empty and placed on the balcony’s fence. The moon was full and the night was far from cloudy. A perfect excuse not to look at him, not yet at least. Let it all sink in first.

You had waited endless days, months and almost a year to be given an assignment as important as this; the amount pleading and begging you had done was unmeasurable. Of course this is what you wanted, ever since you become an official rookie cop. No - ever since you were old enough to realise the truths of the country you lived in.

Here, the weak are preyed on and the wealthy get away with it all. Street thugs to Mafia members go unpunished while others suffer for their wrong doings, and it’s the furthest thing from fair. That’s why you committed not only your heart but every moment of your life training to become the person you are now, a police officer who can at the very least help a town become a safer place for everyone who lives in it and visits.

Still, you never expected to be in a situation like this.

When you had asked your boss to give you a more important task outside of street patrol and parking ticket duty, you were expecting to be sent to do arrests and investigate some crime scenes, but you were sent on the cheesiest mission in the world. None of your coworkers even expected it, seeing you - the woman who sent the whole station into a riot on your first day just by cracking a couple of jokes - in a dress that showed more than what a modest person could imagine.

The plan was to investigate the members attending a party that only the ‘underground’ members of society could attend, try to overhear any plans, find out the statuses of some mafioso’s and if you were lucky, talk to a Capo. Gain their trust and let them have something slip. You just had to be careful they you weren’t found out and killed. They were the sort of men and women who were merciless when outsiders tried to interfere with their business and you being a cop wouldn’t help at all.

When you entered the party hall, well decorated and filled, you instantly knew this was going to be harder than it initially seemed. ‘There’s no way I could find out anything just by asking questions, it’s too suspicious. I’ll just drink and blend in until I can strike up casual conversation,’ you explained to yourself as you approached a silk covered table, glasses filled with all sorts of beverages on top.

Wine seemed like a good choice, you weren't much of a drinker at all but whatever calmed the nerves! If it did at all. Again, you weren’t much of a drinker. You threw your head back as your lips pressed against the rim of the glass and downed all of what the glass contained in seconds - the flavour barely hitting your tongue and the drink simply running down your throat. Something fizzy was definitely better.

A low, impressed whistle was then let out, followed with a few claps and a voice, “impressive. I can’t say I’ve seen anyone here finish a drink as fast as you have!”

That was the start of leading you to your current predicament.

“You still have that middle aged woman hair cut I see.” Light teasing, nothing truly offensive and even he chuckled a little, head shaking at your comment. You had described it just like that when you first met, insulting him at first until you apologised sincerely and cracked some self deprecating joke about your own messy hair.

His lips held onto the rim of the glass and slowly the wine was disappearing. He seemed calm and relaxed but even he would be a bit on edge in a situation like this.

Bruno knew you were a cop, a truly good hearted one at that, you had told him about it the day you met and proved it through your conversation and actions alone. That was the problem however, being a police officer while he was the Capo you were looking for. It was a tragedy you two met again like this, and he knew you couldn’t leave this place without something to help the police force. You just had to help others in some way. He didn’t know many people who would help him out in a situation like the last.

It must have been a month ago, more or less, and he had fallen by your doorstep due to exhaustion from who knows what; he never told you after all. You never asked questions though. When he awakened, you can imagine his surprise to find himself in a stranger’s home with a woman only feet away, humming to herself as she prepared a meal. That was one of the more noticeable things about your home, how close everything was together.

“Where am I?” He asked out loud, knowing that keeping a level head would be the better option instead of panicking right off that bat. Thankfully, it had caught your attention and you rushed to his side immediately, checking to see if he was alright before explaining to him how he had passed out in front of your home. It was confusing but the pieces came together quickly. Right before blacking out, Bruno was going against a stand user who was trying to climb the ranks of the mafia and though he had succeeded in winning, the exhaustion of the battle had gotten to him too quick to comprehend.

“Name’s [F/N] by the way, I’m a cop so don’t worry about me doing anything shifty while you were asleep! Your outfit’s a bit too whack to touch anyways.”

It was just his luck that a police officer was the one who had helped him.

Still, he was grateful and even more so when you started offering him the food you were making.

“I’m Bruno, a pleasure Miss [F/N].” Better not use last names.

When you parted ways, you jokingly pouted at him, “need to go so soon? I was just about to get used to you being my new room mate, bob cut.”

“How sweet you of, perhaps I’ll be seeing you later,” he laughed, detesting the nickname while simultaneously appreciating your light-hearted and humorous nature.

“I hope that’s more of a promise than a farewell!”

Luck wasn’t kind to him again. Seeing you here like this was a curse, a mistake, anything that he could easily say was the cause of the small break in his heart. It was wrong to even feel that pain, you didn’t deserve a gangsta. Not when you were so purely justice driven.

“So you really are a capo, hm?” You didn't sound angry nor disgusted. More detached if anything, which you were. You wanted to let go of this reality and assume this was a dream mixed with a nightmare.

Now two empty glasses resided on the balcony, along with two young adults who just didn’t know where to go from here, Bruno only nodding in response to your question.

A small sigh left your lips, shaky from either the cold whipping against your exposed skin to which you tried to cover by crossing your arms, or from the nerves. “You’re not going to um-“ Noticing your shivering, Bruno had moved closer beside you and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer towards him so that he could shield you from the wind. Not entirely effective but the gesture threw you off from the horrific question you were going to ask.

He answered anyways. “Kill you? No, no, I don’t even think about hurting those you don’t deserve it. [F/N], you’re a good person. A sweet one who shouldn’t be risking herself by coming here and yet you have. I respect you far more than I show - you have to leave soon before someone notices you.”

You shook your head in response to that. You couldn’t leave! Not yet, not when you barely had any information to report. You had gotten this far, you just had to find something good, something worth knowing. “Bruno I can’t! I have to stay, just for a bit longer!”

“And risk someone finding you out?” He sounded harsh, just for a second. He softened once he noticed your worry. “I’m sorry, but you can’t just risk yourself like that. I’m going to get you out of here.”

“Bruno…”

“If it helps. Some people have been talking about terrorising the main street in a week’s time. Scare off the locals and rob what they can before anyone tries to stop them so,”

“Beef up the patrol there and we should be good,” you finished for him. It wasn’t exactly ‘take down the mafia’ intel but the fact you were alive was a miracle. “Thank you. I- I’m glad there’s at least some good in gangs, even if you seem like you’d be a better cop.” Your smile was thanks enough to him. How unfair of the moon to highlight your face like an angel’s when he should be telling it ‘goodbye.’

“Call us even, for last time.” His arm around your shoulders then lowered to be around your waist, guiding you away from the balcony and back inside, voice much lower now. “Let’s get you out of here now, if anyone asks I’ll just say you were my date who had to leave early.”

You giggled at that, “your ‘date’?”

“Hey, it makes for a good story. Plus, it makes me look good too, having a beauty like you on my side.”

Neither of you should be joking like this, the attachment was wrong. It wasn’t stopping you though, the two of you continuing to chortle at each other’s words. Quipping back, you teased him, “I don’t know if they’ll know which of us is meant to be the woman here, bob cut.”

When you were by the exit, you two made the mistake of looking into each other’s eyes, you taking a moment to appreciate his blue orbs and him doing the same with your own.

Pulling away from each other’s gaze was harder than you thought it would be. You tried to play it off by snapping your head to the side and faked a cough. “So I guess it’s goodbye again now, right?”

Bruno was looking elsewhere too. He seemed more interested in a potted plant or the wall when really he could only think of you. “Well, for now maybe. If we’re lucky, I’ll be seeing you soon.”

Was this excitement? Compose yourself, [F/N]! You were still on the job. “Make it next Friday soon, you know where to find me.” So much for composure, you were smiling.

“It’s a date.”

[musedblues]

Always Something There To Remind Me [Part: 5]

summary: Home is where the heart is. You’re working on finding yours. After a handful of misfortunes, your old friend Joe helps to unravel life’s greatest mystery while adding a bit of extra grief to the mix.

warning: Angst central! But a truly happy ending?

w/c: 4k

a/n: Well well well... enjoy this chapter lovies! There's only ONE final update to go. I have far too many feelings, I'll leave it at that. But DO let me know how you lot feel!

taglist: @im-an-adult-ish​ @mrsmazzello​ @lettinggosthehardestpart​ @the-moving-finger-writes​ @imtheinvisiblequeen​ @joemazzmatazz​ @sherlollydramoine​

Part 6

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Enough time had passed that you began to wonder what was next, in life. Where were you supposed to go, now? What were you supposed to be doing? There were still tendrils of sadness and uncertainty keeping you glued in place, without a clear view of your future.

But like always, you had Joe. And like always, you had plans with him. After romping around the city, you decided to invite him over for a classic movie night, the very next weekend.

As you sat in the flower shop all week, willing customers to show up and save you from boredom and longing for Friday to come closer, your wishes half came true. That day, Joe showed up on the other side of your counter several hours earlier than planned.

"You know I have to finish my shift before we start movie night, right?" You joked as he rested each palm on the opposite side of your counter. Joe wasn't smiling, and he was dressed up way too nice for a casual night of ranking your favorite films.

"I'm so sorry. But I have to cancel movie night." Joe lulled his head, a moment of silence for the plans he just shot dead.

"You came all this way to let me down, huh?" You jeered once more, hoping you didn't sound half as crushed as you felt. It was just movie night, you could reschedule.

"I totally forgot I already promised Lacy I'd show up at this super fancy thing tonight."

"Ouch." You remarked, regretting your tone for real now. Lacy hadn't been around to greet you since she'd spotted Joe outside your shop last week. And you knew she was never really your friend, but it still stung to know you'd been used.

"I'm really sorry I spaced it. But I felt too bad about letting her down last minute." Joe explained.

"Why? Might help to knock a bit of air out of her head." You countered. Because while you knew you were unimportant enough to let Lacy walk all over you, Joe deserved better.

"She's not that bad," Joe added, pointing out that Lacy was at least a little bad.

"She's not that fucking great either." You were now officially angry that her claws were deep enough in your friend that he hadn't taken notice of the fact that Lacy was using him, too.

Once the floodgates opened, you couldn't go on acting like you didn't have something to say. Thank God the flower shop was empty and your boss was out with deliveries...

"You're just a trophy to her, she just takes you out to show you off!" It seemed you were stating the obvious, but it felt much scarier.

"Whoa, where is this coming from?" Joe shifted away from your counter, furrowing his brow as if this was really news to him.

"I just can't believe you don't see that you're a prize for Lacy to win. I've never once heard her tell me what it is what you do when you're together, just that you score her a few hundred new Instagram followers every time you come around."

"Yeah well, I'm about to be late for another appearance." Joe shrugged, speaking low in your direction. Maybe he liked the attention, you thought, heart sinking to the floor as you realized that this life had yet to make sense.

"I really wish you could hear what I'm trying to say." You spoke up, desperate for Joe to stop moving toward the door and away from you.

"Call me when you learn to say it better." He bit back just moments before disappearing into the crowded mall and leaving you all alone.

///

That night, you never turned the television on. Instead, you held a book in your hand, pretending to turn the pages. All you really focused on was playing the scene with Joe from earlier over in your head, wishing it could have happened differently.

When your mother got home she was raving about the day she spent photographing some reality star’s wedding. You pretended to listen, keeping your eyes on the book and your mind far far away.

“Where’s Joe? I thought he’d be here tonight.” Your mother wondered, kicking off her shoes and bustling toward the kitchen.

“Hell if I know.” You sighed, realizing you still didn’t know what he and Lacy might have been up too or why he was wearing his fanciest suit jacket.

“So… dinner for two then, I suppose?” Your mother rang from the kitchen, clearly trying her utmost not to irk any further.

“Actually I think I’m just gonna call it a night.” You decided, sitting up and heading straight for the stairs. You shouted a half-hearted goodnight to your mother, longing for this day to just end. But as you shut yourself into the bedroom that hadn’t much changed since you were in high school, you couldn’t stop letting your mind wander.

So, you called Tegan, jumping straight into filling her in on everything that happened since the last time you spoke to her. She listened, adding in quips that meant she was paying attention. When you finished letting it all out, Tegan seemed to think over her response.

“I understand you’re upset, but you haven’t really said why.” Your friend pointed out, an ocean away. Funny how she was still your light in the dark, you thought.

You realized you just told Tegan the story of your whole week, ending with how shitty you felt for snapping at Joe over a girl who didn’t matter that much; but never gave your true feelings away.

“I guess I’m just a little jealous, huh?” You huffed a laugh, basking in the flicking amber light coming from the lamp on your desk. “I’ve always been used to Joe’s attention. Ever since I got back home… I don’t know.”

“Maybe you should tell him all that, y/n.” Tegan suggested softly, after a long understanding pause. You wished she was closer so you could hug her and remind her what a damn good friend she was. So you told her just that, and went to bed even more confused than before.

///

A couple of days passed as you tried to think up what to say, and when to say it. Joe coldly suggested you call him, but that felt far too impersonal. You realized that since coming home, since Kris died, and Joe’s dad passed, and since spending time together again; you and Joe never really talked much about any of that.

Your phone was blank of text messages from him. Even though you wanted to ring Joe, you knew that the second you got his attention that all you’d want to do was make things right. And he deserved much more than a cellphone chat.

So one very cloudy afternoon, while your mother was over having lunch with Mrs. Mazzello, you left a note and hopped in the car. While just thinking zooming down the freeway made you nervous, the thought of going much longer without Joe made you absolutely sick.

You held your breath behind the wheel, minding speed limits and thinking of nothing but what you had to do. The city streets were jam-packed, but even through all the traffic, you seemed to end up in a parking spot in the blink of an eye. You made it. This was it. Now for the hard part...

When you passed through the third-floor entrance and stood outside Joe's door, you were still holding your breath. But you had to knock. You had to get this over with. Much quicker than you expected, the door opened and Joe was standing there in a fancy leather jacket, expectantly gazing into the hall. But his expression morphed into confusion when he saw you, and you wondered who else he might have been hoping to see.

“Hi.” You shrugged meekly. Joe stepped to the side wordlessly offering for you to come inside. You took the opportunity to speak up once more as Joe shut the door behind you.

“I know you said to call, but I think we have too much to talk about.” You started. Joe moved back in front of you, listening.

“I’m sorry for freaking out on you at the mall last week I shouldn’t have said most of that.”

Joe shifted in place and looked away from you, just before saying, “I really can’t do this right now.”

You felt a distant rumble in the grounds of your universe and wondered if this was it. If you’d waited too long and showed up at the wrong time and ruined everything on your mission to make it right. Then Joe went on…

“How are you so good at pushing me away and then showing back up like nothing ever happened?”

Just as you were about to ask what the hell he was talking about, he spoke up again.

"When I went along to drop you off at the airport before you moved to the UK, do you remember what you said to me?" Joe asked in a pitch that stung your heart. You were so anxious back then to rule the world that it was hard to recall past all the fresh wreckage. So you shook your head and prepared for Joe's answer. You weren't expecting to be greeted with a smile today, but Joe's upset was scaring you.

"I told you I was going to miss you. And all you said to me was 'try and remember what it was like before we met.' That's how you left me." You'd never seen Joe's eyes so piercing. He was angry, but he was talking so calmly that you couldn't understand what to do. Had you really dismissed Joe's feeling like that then?

"But then you just kept calling me. And of course, I answered." He scooted a little closer as you drew your arms around your middle.

"Then you move back here, and we get on like no time has passed. You stay with me and you sleep in my bed and I wake up to find you've left it." He stopped, chuckling in a small breath as your stomach fell away.

"And now whatever this is about.” He waved a hand to you. “You push me away and then come back and I don’t get it. So maybe you should just- wait... how- how did you get here?"

"I drove." You said with a tiny smile. A rush of pride swooped deep in your chest, but the nerves dancing on your skin were the only thing you could feel. "And... I know. I came here to apologize. I'm sorry for a lot of things and I-" Joe was staring at you, searching your face while you started in on your monologue, there was a knock at the door.

"Queen is in town" He huffed. "And so is everyone else." Joe offered an exasperated explanation as he took a few steps to greet whoever he’d actually been expecting.

A happy looking Gwilym Lee bound into the room, and Joe smiled for the first time since your interaction.

"Oh, the gang is all here! I didn't know you were coming along." Gwilym looked at you with a hundred-watt smile that reached his eyes. Your heart didn't know whether to flip or plummet to the floorboards.

"I've just got to change if that's alright." Gwil shrugged to Joe, holding up a small tote of clothes, you presumed. The boy's plans must have been minutes away from happening. Why was your timing always so shit?

"Yeah of course." Joe pointed to the bathroom even though Gwil already knew where to find it. The guy disappeared behind the door and you were left alone with Joe without much time to make things right. You began to fear that your poor timing had left a permeate scar on your friendship with Joe forever, but then he spoke up.

"You can either come with us, and you and I can talk about this later tonight... Or you can go home now. And I really don't think you should do that."

His voice was quiet for the sake of Gwilym happening to hear, but there was a softness in Joe's tone that wasn't there minutes ago. He was giving you a chance. You felt like a kid who'd just weaseled their way out of detention, one folly dismissed, but the rest of your actions being closely monitored until further notice. You had to accept his offer, even if you weren't dressed as well for the occasion.

“Okay.” You nodded, unsure how you were supposed to act, barely processing where you were off too.

The tall Welshman reappeared from the bathroom in record time, sporting a striped mint green shirt and wild eyes.

“Let’s go have some fun!” Gwilym announced, leading the way to the front door. This was like an optical illusion, a fever dream version of the weekend before where everything was the same but so much different all at once.

///

The next thing you knew you were sat in the back of Joe’s car, one seat away from Gwilym, who went on wishing he could stay with Joe again but how there was some hotel in the city paying for his room, hosting some fashion show he had to attend. You wished you could have such worries, but teetered in the middle of feeling excited to see Gwil, and totally afraid of where you and Joe stood.

Just before your thoughts consumed you, the car pulled into the backstage lot of a huge arena. Through a break in the gates, you could see hoards of fans peppering the sidewalks on the horizon, racing to the front doors. At the sight of a couple of young girls and their parents decked in Queen merch, you realized that this night was probably going to be the long-awaited best experience ever, for some of these concert goers. And here you were, an undeserving drag along. You tried not to appear as out of place as you felt while you got out of the car and followed close behind the boys who knew right where to go.

On the way, without a word or a moment's hesitation, Joe grabbed your hand. You couldn't at all be sure if he could tell you were out of your element, or if this was a step in dissolving the divide between you, but you were glad for it either way. You gripped back and took a deep breath, listening to Gwilym ramble about how excited he was for everyone to be together again.

Oh shit, you thought. Of course, everyone was going to be here. Tonight of all nights, when you couldn’t be sure what was going on between you and Joe, he pulled you alongside him through the back halls of an arena. Roadies and techs hauled heavy equipment down side halls, while the one you walked through remained empty and hollow. Your heartbeat was heavy and low, you swore you felt Joe squeeze your hand. Why was he still holding yours?

You didn’t have much more time to worry before you were upon a green room, where several strangers mingled around craft tables hardly looking your way.

The group who did turn around with a cheer was made up of Joe’s former co-stars and dear friends. You knew their faces and remembered their names. Joe made sure they all knew yours.

Lucy was made up of perfect features and a gentle disposition and she hugged you like you’d known her for years. You didn’t know Ben but you’d go so far as to say his smile was genuine and he meant when he said he was glad to finally meet you.

Then there was Rami. You’d learned his name before all this, back when he worked with Joe before. The handsome actor crashed a few facetime calls with Joe and was always nice to you during those virtual hangs. You never really imagined you get the chance to say hello again, and wondered if the superstar even recalled those days at all.

You watched Rami break away from a happy hug with Joe, who started to introduce you. But Rami spoke up first.

"I always wondered when this day would come." Rami let a knowing smirk turn up at the corner of his mouth when he locked eyes with you. And something happened, as you looked at him.

You'd been coping with the fact that everyone kept disappearing. But as you looked at Rami for the first real-time, you realized that some people came back. Rami hugged you without another word, and you hugged him back hard, and it lasted a while. It was as if he knew what you were thinking, how profoundly this meeting altered your perspective.

You spotted Joe watching on with a soft expression that nearly broke your already confused heart. He caught your eye and closed his in a slow blink, silently communicating that for now, everything was okay. When the hug ended, you smiled at Rami and he told you he was glad you were here. If there weren't a mess of other people excitedly chatting around you, you might have just cried.

And of course, that’s when two members of the world’s coolest fucking band bopped into the room, casually greeting new faces and kicking around the lounge as if they weren’t royalty.

Roger and Brian were happy to see Joe and Gwil, and the boys were happy to see the band. You felt all too much like you were invading Joe’s space, but he still looked happy when he reached over to introduce you to Roger and Brian. The rockstars cheerfully acknowledged you and you had no time to process what was happening as the group moved from the green room to the hallway. It was time for the show.

How did you end up here, at the bottom of a spectacular risen stage, watching Joe latch on to his friends who you’d only just meet but made you feel apart nonetheless?

Joe mingled among his friends who seemed to truly adore him, but kept floating back to you, filling you in on inside jokes and old stories. And when you started to tell some of your own, it seemed Joe had already beaten you to the punch, having already told his new friends about all your old adventures.

When Queen took the stage, your world was enveloped by the boom of multiple speakers and songs you’d loved forever. Brian and Roger were masters of their craft. You lost yourself in the spectacle, watching fans raise their fists in the air and sing along to familiar ballads. It wasn’t long before someone tore you from taking it all in, though.

"A ydych yn cael amser da?" Gwilym was leaning toward you, a beer at his chest and a nervous grin on his lips

A smile bloomed across your face as your brain worked at super speeds to piece together what he'd just asked. Living so long in Wales and serving drinks to grumpy old men who had a lot to complain about was the best way to pick up the langue; alongside Tegan who translated stories to you after hours. You didn't know everything, but you knew enough to realize Gwilym had just asked you if you were having a good time. You hadn't heard a thing like it in ages...

"Bydda! Wyt ti?" You laughed, turning to look at Gwil with glee.

"I just texted me mum to ask how to say that on the ride over, I'm sorry I don't know what you just said," Gwilym admitted over a flaming guitar solo, a little tipsy.

"We'll have that secret langue down one day." You laughed.

Everyone had been so lovely and welcoming to you, but Gwil seemed to officially be your friend now, too. You realized that the interaction with him was the first time you’d ever addressed your time in Wales without mentally spiraling down the path of the tragic backstory you scored there. You almost missed the place, now.

As you considered the rocky way your day had started out, you realized that the night had been made of tiny stitches of really good things. You weren’t foolish enough to understand how lucky you were, but you felt undeserving all the while. 

Rami kept giving you winks and nods that you somehow understood.

Lucy kept pulling you in for sweet selfies.

And the band played their hearts out. But when they eased into Who Wants To Live Forever, you were sent floating back to earth, cursed by trauma you didn’t even feel attached to any longer, but that still haunted you all the same. The song only sent you deeper into your own thoughts, and luckily when you turned to look for Joe, he was right by your side.

“Thanks for letting me tag along.” You spoke to Joe, leaning in close so he could hear past the song.

“I’m really glad you’re here.” Joe leaned closer, and while you didn't know why, you knew he meant it.

///

You were in the backseat of Joe’s car against before you knew it. Gwil had slipped in the front to help find directions to his hotel, planning to get lunch with Joe before he headed home for London at the end of the week.

A part of your heart had been left in that arena, on the stage where two musical icons put on a killer show. In the place where you met some of Joe’s closest confidants, a place you’d been invited too. Your ears rang, and the bright lights that flickered as Joe drove through the city caused you to doze off.

You only caught bits of Gwilym leaving, barely registering when he promised to see you both again. You only really came to when Joe parked in a lot of his building.

What now? You didn’t know. You only followed behind Joe as you noticed him watching to make sure you were close by. Neither of you spoke on the trek up to his place, and even as you passed into his apartment there was a lingering silence. The calm before the storm, you decided.

You stood in his kitchen a few feet apart, knowing that you had to finish what you started here, earlier.

“I know I didn’t give you much of an option showing up unannounced but… why did you invite me to the show?” You asked slowly, trying to reason why Joe would have been nice enough to let you tag along if he was so upset with you earlier.

He stood leaning against the island, staring at you as if he’d forgotten you'd been at odds the last time you stood here.

“Because even though sometimes I don’t understand you, I still want you around. I still want you to be a part of things. It just makes sense.” Joe looked at you through his lashes.

“I’m sorry I’m so good at fucking everything up.” You said, tears stinging your eyes. You didn’t deserve Joe, and he didn’t deserve you and the shadows cast from the cloud that seemed to follow you around these days.

“You don’t fuck everything up,” Joe spoke assuredly. “You might make shit a little difficult sometimes, sure, but that doesn't change the fact that I love you.”

You had been trying not to cry since you got here, but nothing could stop you from bursting into tears, now. Yeah, this was definitely the backward path to making things better. And you were so confused that it was hard to see if things were better or not. All you could do was cover your face in your hands and hope for the best.

And when Joe spoke up to nervously ask why you were crying, all you could say was,

“Because I love you too.” You explained in a frustrated cry. This was another example of how unnecessarily stressful you had to make things, and that only made you cry harder.

But it wasn’t long before you felt Joe approach, cautiously reaching out to calm you down. He pulled you closer and you dared to close the gap, falling against Joe as you struggled to stop your tears.

He held onto you there, letting you cry until you couldn’t any longer. There was an exceptional weight lifted from your shoulders in the midst of letting out everything you’d been trying to push deep down for so long now.

As you steadied your breathing, you wished you didn’t have an excuse to release your latch on Joe. But when he slowly let go of you, he remained just as close. Joe brushed back your hair and wiped away some of your stray tears as you stared at him in awe of his unwavering care.

Then, he kissed you. Joe kissed you. Like the cameras were rolling and you were meant to appear crazy about each other. It all happened so quickly that your brain seemed to short circuit. You came to your senses enough to give into kissing him back, hardly thinking of how you got here, lost in the fact that it was happening at all.

But as the kiss died down and you both parted to catch your breath, you remembered why you came to Joe’s in the first place. And even though his eyes were still locked on your lips, you regretfully had to snap him out of it.

"Don't you dare kiss me again until we figure our shit out," You demand, wagging your finger and spinning over to the couch. It was time to stop pretending you knew everything about each other and ask a few questions.

“We’ve never really talked since I got back. I think we’d better.” You crossed your arms as Joe chuckled, at your demeanor but nodding as if he just realized this was true.

Together you sat facing each other in the middle of his big comfy couch, and seamlessly delved into a conversation about all the bits that made up your complicated life long relationship. You talked about how sorry you were for so many things and how grateful you were for others.

Joe apologized for getting so upset with you when you showed up, today. You apologized for not calling him as often as you should have and missing his dad's funeral. You started to apologize for letting your jealousy get the better of you last week, but Joe stopped you. He admitted that he'd only kept Lacy around so long because he did, in fact, like the attention. Then he apologized for making you feel like you had something to be wrong about.

The conversation lasted for at least an hour or more, until you caught a glimpse of the clock on the wall. It was suddenly three in the morning. There seemed to be so much more left to discuss with Joe, years of conversations had been left unfinished, and you were just getting started on picking up the pieces.

"Hey, remember when I used to joke about you and I swapping places for a day?" You suddenly recalled with a smile. Joe's eyes sparkled with recognition while he barely lifted a brow, suggesting you go on...

"I really believed no one would notice. Because you were always over for dinner and I was always over for breakfast."

"And we were gone together most of the day, anyway." Joe chuckled, eyes blinking slowly like an old trusting cat. You let yourself smile, considering everything all at once. Not much had changed, it seemed...

“What the fuck are we gonna do now, Joe?” You asked, like there was a war outside and no time to find shelter.

“What we’ve been doing. What we’re doing now.” Joe shrugged. “Figuring shit out together.” He stressed that final word with a micro nod and a gleam in his eye.

"Can I stay the night?" You whispered, not out of shyness, just respect. Besides, you already knew the answer. You could tell Joe wasn't going to let you out of his moonstruck sight for the rest of time and you had no plans of straying.

As soon as Joe started to give a nod of approval you slouched closer to him, slinking your arms around his shoulders and nearly falling asleep the second you melted against him.

Joe held you, not too tight. Just warm and precious. His fingers lightly scratched your shoulder blade as you both seemed to sigh in relief.

"I missed you." You muffled against his skin. Joe let out a contented mewl then, pulling you ever so slightly closer against him.

"Do we have all our shit worked out now?" Joe asked in a way you knew was serious. And because for the most part, you did, you said,

"Are you just asking so you can kiss me again?"

You both laughed, just like always. And for the first time in a long time, you weren’t worried about what happened, what was currently happening, or what might. You just felt happy. You were happy.

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