#i went all the way back to april 2016 for some of these

[gardenschedule]

Perceptions of Paul as calculating & John's paranoia

“McCartney’s mistake, which he now admits, was to seem invulnerable. […] And yet, he says, the contrast between himself and Lennon, so assiduously cultivated by journalists, was a fabrication. “I wasn’t brilliant at school. I was trouble, just like John. I got caned practically every day, and the only exam I ever passed was Spanish. John and I weren’t black and white, although people took John, for all his aggression, to be the good guy, because he showed his warts. I’ve only just realized, after all this time, that people like to see warts. It makes them sympathetic. I’d always though that, in order to be liked, you had to be unwarty.””

Living with The Beatles’ legacy, the smears that Lennon left behind… and the battle to win my babies back, The Times Newspaper, Monday January 4, 1982.

Paul was the easiest to talk to. He had such energy and such keenness and, unlike John, enjoyed being liked, at least most of the time. I don't see this as a criticism; John himself could be very cruel about Paul's puppy dog eagerness to please. The irony was, and still is, that John's awfulness to people, his rudeness and cruelty, made people like him more, whereas Paul's genuine niceness made many people suspicious, accusing him of being calculating. Paul does look ahead, seeing what might happen, working out the effect of certain actions, but he often ends up tying himself in knots, not necessarily getting what he thought he wanted. I think there is some insecurity in Paul's nature, which makes him try so hard, work so hard. It also means he can be easily hurt by criticism, which was something that just washed over John.

Hunter Davies, Western Mail: The Beatles. (April 9th, 2004)

Even Paul’s immaculate manners could not thaw her. ‘Oh, yes, he was well-mannered–too well-mannered. He was what we call in Liverpool “talking posh” and I thought he was taking the mickey out of me. I thought “He’s a snake-charmer all right,” John’s little friend, Mr Charming. I wasn’t falling for it. After he’d gone, I said to John, “What are you doing with him? He’s younger than you… and he’s from Speke!”’ After that, when Paul appeared, she would always tell John sarcastically that his ‘little friend’ was here. ‘I used to tease John by saying “chalk and cheese”, meaning how different they were,’ she remembered, ‘and John would start hurling himself around the room like a wild dervish shouting “Chalkandcheese! Chalkandcheese!” with this stupid grin on his face.’

Philip Norman, Paul McCartney: The Life. (2016)

“He always suspected me. He accused me of scheming to buy over Northern Songs without telling him. I was thinking of something to invest in, and Peter Brown said what about Northern Songs, invest in yourself, so I bought a few shares, about 1,000 I think. John went mad, suspecting some plot. Then he bought some himself. He was always thinking I was cunning and devious. That’s my reputation, someone who’s charming, but a clever lad. “It happened the other day at Ringo’s wedding. I was saying to Cilia [Black] that I liked Bobby [her husband]. That’s all I said. Bobby’s a nice bloke. Ah, but what do you REALLY think Paul? You don’t mean that, do you, you’re getting at something? I was being absolutely straight. But she couldn’t believe it. No one ever does. They think I’m calculating all the time.

Paul and Hunter Davies, 1981

In the wake of his death you didn’t tour for most of the ‘80s. People suggested that you were scared to go on the road. Was that true? No. People speculate about anything. They always credit me with motives I haven’t even dreamed of. It’s interesting, the way they sort of perceive my life and analyse it for me. In that case, I never thought about touring much. People used to say, “Oh, it’s 10 years since you’ve toured.” I’d go, “Is it? Y’know, I’m not counting.” That’s all that was, really. I don’t know why. Maybe I didn’t fancy it.

The Q Interview, 2007

Astrid in Germany was always a bit suspicious of Paul at first, though his relationship with Stu was also bound up in this. 'It used to frighten me that someone could be so nice all the time. Which is silly. It's ridiculous to feel at home with nasty people, just because you feel that at least you know where you are with them. It's silly to be wary of nice people.'

The Beatles (Updated Edition) (Hunter Davies)

Paul is the easiest to get to know for an outsider, but in the end he is the hardest to get to know. There is a feeling that he is holding things back, that he is one jump ahead, aware of the impression he is giving. He is self-conscious, which the others are not. John doesn't care, either way, what people think. Ringo is too adult to think about such things, and George in many ways isn't conscious. He is above it all.

The Beatles (Updated Edition) (Hunter Davies)

Paul today is still the public Beatle, giving interviews at fairly regular intervals, being open and honest about himself and his past, his worries and his pleasures. Naturally, as ever, there are people who suspect his motives, putting him down for being too charming. Paul may be a bit of an actor, acting the part of Paul McCartney, the charming superstar, still loved by every mum, which can make him sound rather prissy at times, but I believe he does tell the truth about himself.

The Beatles (Updated Edition) (Hunter Davies)

“My problem is to me, I come over as this very together guy, always got his finger on top of everything: the man with no problems. School – a doddle, got all the exams. This is the sort of image of me. Actually, I had murder getting through exams, like I was saying about being on tour during my GCEs. I was like the kid who was getting the cane. Just like John was, but he [Phillip Norman] makes me the very shrewd, always-going-to-succeed guy, and John is the kind of cute, working-class hero. In actual fact though, John was just as shrewd and ambitious as I was. What does me in is he adds to this image I’ve got; I resent that, because I know I’m not that, and I know I’ve never been that.

Paul McCartney’s thoughts from 1983 on Phillip Norman’s ‘Shout!’

The funny thing is, when Apple [started], everything was laid out on the table, it’s like a Monopoly game. We saw who had what. I suddenly had more Northern Song shares than anybody, and it was like, oops, sorry. John was like, “You bastard, you’ve been buying behind my back.” John saw everything like a Harold Robbins movie, you know, which it was. He’s not incorrect. I couldn’t get over the fact that we were really involved in all this. I think to this day, he’ll not understand. I don’t think he would accept right now, my naïveté in it. I think he still suspects me of trying to take over Apple. He still suspects that when I offered the Eastmans as [managers] instead of Allen Klein, he naturally assumed that I would be taken care of better than the others, and that the Eastmans could never be moral enough to be equal in their judgment and do the Beatles’ thing rather than Paul’s thing. I think they still suspect to this day.

The point I was trying to illustrate is that it wasn’t so much John being a bastard as it was his being suspicious towards me, always being suspicious towards me. There was Northern Song shares. And I swear on any holy book you want, I know he won’t believe it, but I know for sure that I didn’t buy them with the view to— If I was really trying to do it, I could have bought an awful lot more. So it does hurt a little bit that there’s someone who still thinks, like, I’m out to get them, or that I always was. That’s one of the nice things about it— It’s a pity [I never said to John, “Fuck off, I’m not trying to do it”—and never was]. But he knows I was kind of— We were behind the scenes, and we did a few little [things] that we had to do, and our ambitions, and it was never a kind of terrifying skeletons in the closet. It was always just normal—but, uh, they …

All You Need Is Love – Peter Brown & Steven Gaines

SG: Were the other Beatles anti-Linda? PMcC: Uh, yeah. I should think so. Like we were anti-Yoko. But you know John and Yoko, you can see it now, the way to get their friendship is to do everything the way they require it. To do anything else is how to not get their friendship. This is still how it is with John and Yoko. I know that if I absolutely lie down on the ground and just do everything like they say and laugh at all their jokes and don’t expect my jokes to ever get laughed at, and don’t expect any of my opinions ever to carry any weight whatsoever, if I’m willing to do all that, then we can be friends. But if I have an opinion that differs from theirs, then I’m a sort of an enemy. And naturally, paint myself a villain with a big mustache on, because to the ends of the earth, that’s how they both see me. They’re very suspicious people [John and Yoko], and one of the things that hurt me out of the whole affair, was that we’d come all that way together, and out of either a fault in my character, or out of lack of understanding in their character, I’d still never managed to impress upon them that I wasn’t trying to screw them. I don’t think that I have to this day.

All You Need Is Love – Peter Brown & Steven Gaines

I was never out to screw him, never. He could be a maneuvering swine, which no one ever realized. Now since the death he’s became Martin Luther Lennon. But that really wasn’t him either. He wasn’t some sort of holy saint. He was still really a debunker. “For ten years together he took my songs apart. He was paranoiac about my songs. We have great screaming sessions about them.

Paul and Hunter Davies, 1981

SALEWICZ: Oh, he was presumably very paranoid. PAUL: I think so. I mean, he warned me off Yoko once. You know, “Look, this is my chick!” ’Cause he knew my reputation. I mean, we knew each other rather well. And um, I felt… I just said, “Yeah, no problem.” But I did sort of feel he ought to have known I wouldn’t, but. You know, he was going through “I’m just a jealous guy”. He was a paranoid guy. And he was into drugs. Heavy.

September, 1986 (MPL Communications, London)

Miles says, “I think Jane was always a bit irritated by John. Because he was so acerbic and difficult to get on with. And paranoid. He didn’t make life easy. I suppose it’s a sort of rapier wit, but it was usually just plain ordinary rudeness. There was nothing special about it.”

Paul McCartney profile for FAME Magazine (March 1990)

“They [Lennon & McCartney] saw each other again in 1977. The Lennons and McCartneys ate dinner together at Le Cirque, Paul’s favourite French restaurant in New York. John regretted going; it was a loathsome night. Paul and Linda blathered on and on about how perfect their lives were, how they had everything they’d ever wanted, and how they were as happy as they’d ever been. Something very paranoid suddenly occurred to John. Maybe Lorraine Boyle was spying on him for the McCartneys! He woke up the next morning still feeling disturbed; he consulted the Oracle. Swan assured him that Paul and Linda were frustrated and unsatisfied. Their marriage was in trouble, he said, predicting it would break up within the year. Lately Swan’s visions had been astonishingly accurate. Relieved, John began composing a song—a little ditty, really, that would never be released—in praise of the Oracle’s powers. But he still couldn’t understand why Paul and Linda had been together for as long as they had. There appeared to be a psychic connection between John and Paul. Every time McCartney was in town, John would hear Paul’s music in his head.”

Robert Rosen, Nowhere Man: The Final Days of John Lennon, (2000)

JOHN: […..] And he’s (Jagger) goin’ on about “he never calls. Do you think he ever calls? He never calls me. And he keeps changing his phone number all the time… And he’s hiding behind the kid.” I was hurt by it! You know… The fact that… A, I never call anybody. It’s not pride, it’s just that I never, ever have. REPORTER: Why? JOHN: I never call the other Beatles, I never call anybody. They always call me. REPORTER: Why? JOHN: Cos I’m self-involved! I’m paranoid, too. I don’t like phones… There’s nobody on this earth ever got a call from me that isn’t related, probably. Or a very old friend…

Sept 1980 – John

“Yoko was an extremist and was even more intense than John taking any idea or comment of his to the limit. If, for example, he complained about any of his fellow Beatles she would hint that that Beatle had always been an enemy implying that John should never deal with that person again. Her extreme positions fascinated John and help him take his mind off himself but when she became self-involved and paranoid herself -her paranoia usually dealt with her career, her fame and the fact that even though she had always been famous everyone conspired to keep her from getting even more famous- he had no place to turn. His insecurity about his solo career, his childhood, his relationships with the other Beatles, the way the public perceived Yoko overwhelmed him and he became more and more involved with drugs.”

May Pang, Loving John (1984)

John was lucky. He got all his hurt out. I’m a different sort of a personality. There’s still a lot inside me that’s trying to work it out. And that’s why it’s good to see that wedding-funeral bit, because I started to think, ‘Wait a minute, this is someone who’s going over the top. This is paranoia manifesting itself.’ And so my feeling is just like it was at the time, which is like, He’s my buddy, I don’t really want to do anything to hurt him, or his memory, or anything. I don’t want to hurt Yoko. But, at the same time, it doesn’t mean that I understand what went down.

Paul McCartney: An Innocent Man? (October, 1986)

Some three year later, during the making of Abbey Road, Lennon installed a twin bed in the studio so that Yoko, recuperating from a car crash, could survey proceedings and pass comment though a mike he had suspended over her. The other Beatles positioned themselves around the room as best they could. Yoko would later tell Paul that if, for any reason, he’d seemed to be standing too close to her, all hell would break loose when John got her home. Lennon, she said, was ‘very paranoid’ like that.

McCartney by Chris Sandford

But we were actually quite supportive. Not supportive enough, you know; it would have been nice to have been really supportive because then we could look back and say, “Weren’t we really terrific?” But looking back on it, I think we were okay. We were never really that mean to them. But I think a lot of the time John suspected meanness where it wasn’t really there.

Paul McCartney, interview w/ Chris Salewicz for Musician: Tug of war – Paul McCartney wants to lay his demons to rest. (October, 1986)

I just read about this thing that’s going on sale at Sotheby’s – this Apple booklet with John’s comments in the margins in his own handwriting. It is so bitter. Like, there’s a picture of Paul and Linda’s wedding – and John’s crossed out “wedding” and written in “funeral.” I think it starts to tell there. Another caption says, “Paul goes to Hollywood” – and then he’s apparently written in the margin, “To cut Yoko and John out of the film.” He often thought that we were tryin’ to cut Yoko out of things, to cut her out of Let It Be. I suppose we were, in some degree; because she wasn’t in the Beatles, and it was a Beatles film, and it wasn’t absolutely necessary to have long footage of her in there. She certainly was in there, but obviously they felt she should be in there a little more. I bent over backward trying to see John’s point of view. I still bend over backward trying to not malign him.”

Paul McCartney, Rolling Stone, September 11th, 1986

[kiiyunz]

posted⠀by⠀junjiie⠀⠀⸻⠀⠀8th April,⠀2O24.

No-one’s journey through idol life is going to be all sunshine & rainbows, and that’s a fact I think we should all make peace with as soon as possible. If you’re going to type out a comment screaming bloody murder about how your favourite’s whole career has been nothing but shiny and perfect, then all I have to say to you is that I’m sure there’s been a whole number of not-shiny and not-perfect things going on when the cameras are off. Sorry. It’s just the truth. Probably. But I’m not here to talk about your favourite, I’m here to talk about mine. So, without further ado, strap yourself in for a run-down of IM KIHYUN throughout the years of NCT DREAM’s career—ranked on a three point scale: the GOOD, the BAD, and of course, the REALLY, REALLY UGLY.

CHEWING GUM 2016 FRUIT PUNCH & BUBBLE MIXTURE

15-YEAR-OLD-KIHYUN had three lines in their debut single, a yellow hoverboard, and a dream—literally, considering the name of his unit. He was every bit the mood maker most people know him as today, filled to the brim with excitement and a sense of self-confidence that some people may have thought he would’ve lacked. While he hadn’t fully settled into himself just yet, still had voice cracks, and acne breakouts he’d stubbornly refuse to be filmed with while suffering through, and bouts of clumsiness that would leave him with bruises all over his elbows and plasters on his knees, for the most part it felt like he was an experienced performer rather than a just-arrived rookie. Most people immediately took a liking to him, and although his popularity wasn’t as sky-high as some of his fellow members, the fans he did have were a force to be reckoned with right from the start.

But whether you loved him or hated him, the one thing that everyone seemed to take notice of was the way he just looked like he loved performing on every single occasion, putting everything he had into every stage even with the little amount of time he was given to show off both himself & his budding talent to the people watching. His stage presence was compared to a breath of fresh air on a summer’s day, the wide grin he aimed at the cameras at any given opportunity one that aimed to brighten the mood of anyone witnessing it, and the enthusiasm with which he delivered his lines was something that even the harshest of critics could give a nod of acknowledgement to. Altogether, it’s widely agreed that CHEWING GUM for Kihyun was a GOOD era, on our three point scale.

MY FAVOURITE MOMENT: MU-BEYOND

Kihyun very obviously and very fiercely despising the way his hair was styled for one of the photoshoots, and making no attempt to hide it. As soon as the camera flashes stopped, gone was his sunshine smile, and in its place was a look that, if they could kill, would have put the photographer six feet under (even if the poor man would’ve had no say in how it was styled in the first place). While a few of the other members were enjoying themselves on the glossy pink bouncing balls they were perched on, as soon as it was announced they were done Kihyun was shooting up and making a runner for the bathroom, shooting the camera a glare and tugging on a few strands of his hair as he went. Chenle could be seen cracking up in the near background, creased over from the force of his laughter. Kihyun yelled something back at him, but whatever it was was drowned out by the editors with the persistent ‘Chew-chew-chew-chew chewing gum’ over the top of the footage, seemingly growing a little louder in order to hide his words.

THE FIRST 2017 BAD HAIR & BASKETBALL

(STILL) 15-YEAR-OLD-KIHYUN had blue frosted tips and a tendency to get distracted on the music video set, far more interested in shooting hoops than dancing around in the school band-like outfit they were being made to wear and singing about being in head-over-heels in love with his teacher. He was still every bit the burst of energy he was previously, still throwing his all into everything he did, but it was obvious to some he’d rather be doing other things if he could. The whole riding-cardboard-cars-around was something he loved, though, and he stated more than once that was his favourite part by a mile. Kihyun was mostly the same as he was during the CHEWING GUM era in terms of performance, confidence, and the like—although it was noted by most that there was a little less of his occasional clumsiness, more stability in himself than there was previously. His popularity grew alongside the group’s, his consistent charm and apparent natural talent to draw people in appealing to many a new fan.

He slowly began to make more of a presence online during the MY FIRST AND LAST era, also. Posting both little messages and various photos of himself & the members (mainly in embarrassing positions, such as being half-asleep or making weird faces) on Twitter, interacting with fans whenever he could, and dragging out conversations for as long as he was allowed at fansigns, until the poor person in front of him was practically dragged along to the next member. And when there were more sides of him being shown to the public (and the internet, especially), there were more people waiting to pick apart every piece of him. While his popularity grew, the amount of people against him shot up in numbers, too. It wasn’t overwhelmingly bad, but there were a fair few who accused him of trying to take the spotlight too often, or being ungrateful for the opportunities he was being given after they’d heard the few comments he’d made here and there about the comeback’s concept not being his favourite. Still, despite these lower moments, there were still more pros than cons, and so MY FIRST AND LAST is another era ranked GOOD for Kihyun.

MY  FAVOURITE  MOMENT: MFAL FIRST WIN

He was so caught up in tugging at the various buttons and pins stuck onto his ugly blazer that he barely heard the MC announcing their win until all the other members were jumping around and crying and patting each other on the back. Kihyun himself didn’t cry until backstage, when it finally hit him properly that they’d actually won, so in the moment he was more so just a little confused and dazed than anything else as he celebrated with the rest, not-so-subtly trying to take the trophy out of Mark’s hands while he made his speech so he could get a better look at it, wrapping Jeno in a hug so tight it left them both wheezing, trying to jump on Jisung’s back in an attempt to get him to cheer up, and also making a whole host of excited gestures and faces over at the members of 127 across the stage.

WE YOUNG  2017 FUN IN THE SUN!

KIHYUN (NOW 16) loved every second of this era, and that was something you could make out from space. Even with his now-pink-streaked hair and sailor outfits they were being made to wear, he declared the music from the WE YOUNG era as his favourite thus far. It was just pure fun, simple as that. He enjoyed every performance they did, sang all his lines with a grin so wide it nearly split his lips, was as playful as ever with all the members, and simply let loose a little more, losing himself in the music rather than what people were saying about it. Despite him not overly loving the whole sailor concept, fans were of the opinion that he was one of the ones that pulled it off the best, and so he begrudgingly posted photos of him in the get-up as often as he could—to an overwhelmingly positive response every time. The public noticed that, while still not fully grown, Kihyun’s self-confidence seemed to be at an all-time-high. He really did look like he was just happy to be there, and his supporters couldn’t have been more glad about it.

What also made his fans happy was his amount of lines getting a boost. He’d consistently been receiving around three or four, five at a stretch, but now it was reaching into the sixes and sevens—which, really, was barely an upgrade, but it made a world of difference to fans of his. It gave him more of a chance to show off his vocal ability, and brought more attention to him from both the public & critics. It also just made him happy, to be able to spend more than ten minutes in the recording studio, to be given more of a chance to show off how he’d grown and improved so far (even if he still thought he had a ways to go before he reached the level of his role models, his own idols). WE YOUNG was yet another GOOD era for Kihyun by miles, with barely any pitfalls in sight, and probably his highest so far.

MY FAVOURITE  MOMENT: COMEBACK SHOWCASE

He was jumping all over the stage throughout every performance, throwing everything he had (and probably more) into every line he sang and every move he executed. It was clear he was trying his hardest to contain himself, trying not to scream every one of his lines into the mic or trip himself up, but it was also clear he was struggling. He was also as clingy as anything towards the rest, always hanging off of someone’s back or linking their arms together while they were walking. There was never a shot of him without a smile on his face, never anything he did that made it feel like he’d rather be elsewhere. His enthusiasm and excitement was almost infectious, leaking out of the screen to put a smile on the face of whoever was watching along.

WE GO UP  2018 BREAKDANCING & BEANIES

NEARLY-ADULT (AKA.. 17-YEAR-OLD) KIHYUN seemed to be reaching for maturity a little too fast, fingers outstretched towards his eighteenth birthday and desperate for the months to pass by just a little faster. He had decided, somewhere along the line, that he was ready to be rid of the cuter concept the group was intended to present, and was more than ready for a switch-up. And while WE GO UP wasn’t exactly what he was hoping for, there was certainly less of the more childish aspects that were seen in their previous releases—which was both an acknowledgement of all the members growing older and also something that served as a reminder of Mark’s upcoming graduation from the group, which Kihyun would’ve rather done anything but think about. Still, while he didn’t put as much of his all into it as he had done in the past, he still put a fair amount of effort into the lines he was given (which were lessened once again, to the disappointment of many) and choreography they were made to learn. Fans noted that his personal style was beginning to develop in the WE GO UP era, their suspicions of Kihyun dressing himself confirmed when he mentioned here and there that most of his non-schedule outfits were his own.

The introduction of Bubble helped to boost Kihyun’s online presence, something that had fluctuated from era-to-era thus far (his highest amount of interactions previously being within the MY FIRST AND LAST era), and while he didn’t use it all the time, he still made an effort to communicate regularly with those who’d signed up when he could. He shared his inner reasonings on his online presence with those who were asking—saying that if he didn’t like the concept of the comeback too much he would compensate by being online and able to interact more. It’s a rule he’s mostly stuck with over the years, and fans have now said it’s easy to tell when Kihyun hates a concept because they’ll wake up with three new Twitter posts and ten times as many Bubble updates. So on the whole, although it was definitely on the lower end of the spectrum, WE GO UP is considered yet another GOOD era for Kihyun—making that a four-long streak (that—apologies for spoilers—was going to be broken fairly soon).

MY  FAVOURITE  MOMENT: FIRST SOLO LIVE

It was, to put it plainly, a little bit all over the place. He held it in his dorm room, half asleep but still managing to be every bit the charismatic personality most people knew and loved him for. He answered any questions threw at him with total honesty, didn’t hold his tongue when talking about various subjects that others may have (namely his personal thoughts & opinions on the comeback as whole—this live was where many found out he didn’t like it as much as they thought he did), and also showed a side to him that the majority hadn’t been able to see as much of before. He gave song recommendations, spoke about those who inspired him—both in a music and fashion sense—and altogether shared lots of fun facts that had been unknown to most previously.

WE BOOM  2019 RADIO SILENCE

18-YEAR-OLD-KIHYUN was noticeably.. Different. While Mark’s graduation had hit all of the remaining seven hard, the other six still at least pushed on and tried to act as if things were fine as normal, carrying on as most expected them to. Kihyun, however, had seemed to undergo a complete personality shift. He was withdrawn, quieter than he’d ever been—barely offering anything up in conversations or interviews even when prompted, barely any footage of him in behind-the-scenes content because he made next to no contributions to it; always preferring to stay in the background, on his phone with his headphones on and trying to ignore the cameras following them around. Public opinion of him was also beginning to slip further into the red, following leaked photos of him at an undisclosed individual’s party getting cosy with an unnamed and non-idol slightly older male just after the release of the mini-album—photos that went unaddressed by both the company and Kihyun himself. His name was starting to grow in infamy rather than popularity, but the boy himself didn’t really seem to care.

All traces of Kihyun on social media seemed to go completely cold, barely any updates from him that weren’t group photos or content. From the whole era there were a measly two Twitter posts from him, and his Bubble subscribers got refunded more often than not. But while he was refraining from making any posts, news websites and anonymous users were more than happy to leak more and more photos of him—always with the same boy, always at a party, or at a club, or just generally anywhere that looked a little shady to the hundreds of thousands that saw it. Rumours began to spread about a drinking problem, about a shady boyfriend, about countless things that painted Kihyun in a type of light that he’d previously avoided like the plague, but Kihyun himself made no attempt to defend himself, and so they only got wilder. It’s unanimously decided that the BOOM is the first (but certainly not the last) of Kihyun’s BAD eras.

MY  FAVOURITE  MOMENT: JENO LIVE

The then-blonde took it upon himself to disregard all the rumours spreading about his dongsaeng—although not in a direct way. He was careful with his words, as well-spoken as he always is, but made sure to especially shut down the accusations of Kihyun turning into some reckless party animal, taking the former leader’s graduation so bad he turned to less-than-ideal ways to cope. “Kyunnie isn’t like that, and never will be,” was what he told his audience, and many noted the flat look on his face. After the captain had, many of the others took their turn to come to Kihyun’s defence—mostly always with vague comments, but statements nonetheless. Chenle’s response in particular was deemed to be one of the most direct, replying to a comment while on live with a simple “You don’t know Kihyun like that” and then ending the live not long afterwards, leaving the conversation at that and somewhat encouraging the people speculating to do the same.

RELOAD  2020 CLIFF DROPS & HARMFUL HABITS

NOW 19, KIHYUN seemed to be at something of his lowest point thus far. While he made more public appearances, more attempts to join in with behind-the-scenes content (or just extra content in general), most concluded it was the result of management telling him he had to, rather that Kihyun himself choosing to do so—and his return only gave more opportunities for those looking to find all the things wrong with the once-charismatic & energy-filled vocalist. And to make matters worse for him, more information had been dug up on his newfound non-idol friends (or rather, the one boy in particular that everyone wanted to know about). Oh Jinwoo, he had been discovered to be called, something of an influencer-like figure known more often than not for his whole host of partners over the years and tendency to get mixed in with the wrong crowd. You could say that you could only imagine what this did to Kihyun’s public image (which was practically halfway ruined by that point already), but there was no need for imagination—practically everyone witnessed his fall from the (mostly Korean) public’s good books, yet nobody could do anything about it. It felt like every day there was another article released leaking more photos and spreading more rumours about whatever dark web Kihyun was tangling himself in, but still the company made no move to stop them. 

It was also during the RIDIN era that Kihyun was rumoured to have started up the habit of smoking, with (albeit blurry) photos released to support the claims. This did absolutely nothing to help his reputation, tanking it further. His future was starting to look a little uncertain, questions being raised over whether his actions as of lately would warrant either a hiatus or removal from the group completely. He might’ve delivered all his lines as fine as normal, danced along with the rest in the same practised & efficient manner he always did, but talent didn’t mean much when placed on a scale against damaging the whole group’s image, rather than just his own. When people began to turn their nasty comments and endless gossip onto the other members, Kihyun was starting to look like more of a hindrance than a crucial member. It is, without a doubt, agreed by all that RIDIN was a REALLY, REALLY UGLY era.

MY  FAVOURITE  MOMENT: KIHYUN LIVE

It was short, it was vague, and it was still very obvious he was nowhere near to feeling like his normal self, but Kihyun himself did come forward to address a few things—mainly the smoking incident, which he admitted to be true and said that while he was trying to put a stop to it completely, habits like that were hard to quit. After the negative comments began to override the positive & supportive ones, he was quick to shut it off again and return to what was becoming his frighteningly normal status of radio silent. Still, it was something—and far more than anything SM gave, at that. Other members were also quick to dismiss or shut down any comments they saw on their own lives discussing Kihyun and his future of the group, all that they said mostly being along the simple and short lines of “Kihyun’s staying with us” and not elaborating any further.

HOT SAUCE  2021 A START

20 YEARS OF AGE. Mark was back, their permanence as a group was finally confirmed, the graduation system having been abolished, and all eight of them were together again. After five whole years of being active they were finally releasing a full album, and getting the chance to do it the way they all wanted. But while things were happier in that regard, Kihyun’s situation was far from forgotten. Fans of his were relieved nothing had been done about his place in the group—even if a few solo stans wanted him out just as much as those who hated him did, for the sake of his own wellbeing rather than them holding any ill-will towards the other members—but public opinion of him was still mostly in the red. Things were again starting to feel like they were hitting a dead-end: with Kihyun’s presence sort of.. Drifting. Sometimes he’d be absent for a group live, sometimes he’d go silent on all social media for weeks with his only comeback usually being his presence in the background of another member’s photos. Everything was looking just as uncertain as they had during the RIDIN era—until Kihyun once again started a solo live with the simple title of ‘an explanation’ and proceeded to do just that: explain.

Most suspected he didn’t divulge all the details, but the run-down was this: he’d met Jinwoo at some party or other, and they’d gotten just as close as all the leaked photos and gossipy articles made them out to be (although, again, some thought them to be far closer). He’d led Kihyun into a little bit of a rebellious era, what he called his ‘chance to be young and reckless’ since he’d mostly missed out on it, what with all his years of both diligent training & as an active idol. While he admitted on the broadcast that it was fun for a while, he was also realising the damage it was doing to both himself & his fellow members, so attempted to cut contact with his newfound friend—to no avail, for a few months, as they had more than a few periods of arguments both over the phone and in person. He said he’d only officially completely cut Jinwoo off a few weeks before the live, and shared with something of a wistful smile that he didn’t plan to get in touch with him any more now that he was gone. His viewers were overjoyed to hear this, and the members shared the sentiment—but Kihyun still had a ways to go before he was back to being a generally accepted fan-favourite. Despite him taking his first steps towards being back to his usual self, HOT SAUCE is still considered a BAD era for the vocalist.

MY  FAVOURITE  MOMENT: MARK INSTAGRAM POST

It was a three-slide-long affair that was posted not too long after Kihyun’s live. The first was a selfie of himself & a sleeping Kihyun, one of the rapper’s arms gently holding the vocalist to his side while he grinned wide into the camera. The second, a solo shot of Kihyun’s face up close to the camera, tongue out and peace sign just barely visible in one of the corners, what with most of the frame being taken up by the odd expression he was pulling. The third slide was a short video, only ten seconds or so long, of Kihyun and him on the dorm’s sofa, the audio consisting of the tail-end of Mark’s voice making a joke mostly unintelligible to the viewers that was quickly followed by Kihyun’s pure & unfiltered laughter as he cracked up at whatever the Dream leader had said. He was creased over, one hand repeatedly hitting Mark’s knee as the other held his stomach, breath coming out in jerky and uneven gasps as he tried to recover. The caption was made up of two words: ‘my KD.’ 

HELLO FUTURE  2021 COTTON CANDY & BACK TO NORMAL

STILL 20, BUT NOW SEEMING MUCH HAPPIER, by the time HELLO FUTURE era rolled around Kihyun felt to most like he’d healed fully from what had then been a period a month shy of two years worth of the continuous cycle of being somewhat of a public enemy. People thought it was the combination of getting the truth about all that had happened off his chest, the continuous support of his members both in Dream and in NCT as a whole, and the seemingly infectious happy mood that came with the HELLO FUTURE era that managed to finally get Kihyun back on his feet, and with him he was bringing performances reminiscent of how full of joy and excited he’d been during the WE YOUNG era, smile wide on his face in every shot and dancing filled to the brim with passion. He even made more of an effort to make appearances on social media—contradictory to the rule he’d made during the WE GO UP era of only being constantly online during concepts he wasn’t too fond of. He gave happy little updates every once in a while, paired with smiling selcas both alone & with the other members, was as talkative as most remembered him to be before what some had started to dub ‘the dark ages’ during any group lives they held, and even crashed a few of the member’s solo lives every now and again.

His change was noticed easily, and was one that began to slowly turn the tides of public opinion on him once again. The comments made about him being someone who was bringing the group down and ruining their reputation with his recklessness were slowly lessening, being replaced with positive ones, and soon enough his popularity was starting to grow again, instead of the countless hate trains and calls for him to be kicked out. Kihyun was well on the way (if not mostly there already) to being completely fine again, even apparently feeling well enough to make more than a few jokes at his own expense here and there about staying far, far away from any parties held by a friend-of-a-friend in the future. HELLO FUTURE was the light (or rather.. Rainbow?) at the end of the tunnel for Kihyun, and so it was considered his first GOOD era after the nearly two years of BAD (with one REALLY, REALLY UGLY, at his lowest) ones.

MY  FAVOURITE  MOMENT: MV REACTION

Kihyun was seated next to Chenle, which could only really mean trouble—as it always did whenever the pair were within two metres of one another. They were cracking jokes every two seconds, falling all over one another with laughter and unable to shut up for even a minute. The rest paused the video more times to tell them to keep it together than they did for them to comment on anything actually happening in the MV, but you could tell from a mile away that they didn’t really mind in the slightest, more happy to see Kihyun laughing and smiling again than anything. They also all made sure to cheer the loudest when the vocalist’s solo scene appeared on screen, and then proceeded to (lovingly) make fun of him when his ears uncharacteristically went bright red at the praise being showered upon him, although he tried to get over it quickly and return back to his self-confidence-filled self.

GLITCH MODE  2022 VIDEO GAMES & B-BOYING IN PROGRESS

NOW FULLY BACK ON TRACK (& FRESHLY 21), Kihyun was ready to throw his all into their second full album. He was as good as new, his overwhelming feeling of excitement for every track recorded and released as clear as day. He even (again) broke his no-contact rule a few times just to relay how much he thought fans were going to love the album, posting spoilers as often as possible and revealing as much as he could get away with before it dropped. When it was released, he was practically talking about it non stop, chattering away on all platforms about the styling, the stages, the music, how fun it was, how much he was enjoying himself—the list went on. He declared the GLITCH MODE era to be his favourite, point blank, no matter how much he liked anything they would go on to release in the future. Public opinion of him was mostly completely smoothed over by that point, and his personal fan base was growing with every passing piece of content that was released. He seemed at his complete happiest, throwing everything he had and more into every single thing he did during promotions & extra content.

The GLITCH MODE era was also when he opened his personal Instagram account, his first post being a picture of him and Jeno glued to each other’s sides in a setting people assumed to be the SM building, with the caption ‘my favourite colleague.’ His follower count rose quickly, and is currently sitting at a comfortable 4.8M, mostly in the middle of Jisung and Chenle’s own numbers. Since then his account has become a home to photos that at times feel more like an exhibition of all the other Dream members (and his closer friends from the other units also) than anything involving himself, nonsensical lives that usually occur at the early hours of the morning where Kihyun—either alone or together with whoever decides to either join the live or join Kihyun himself wherever he’s holding it—has free reign to chatter on about whatever he pleases, although most of the time when he’s alone it turns into an impromptu radio hour where he takes the chance to talk about his favourite recent albums & artists, as well as listening to any recommendations his viewers give him. Slowly beginning to recover his streak, GLITCH MODE is seen as another GOOD era for Kihyun.

MY  FAVOURITE  MOMENT: MV BEHIND

Kihyun had decided that he was going to properly get into breakdancing during the GLITCH MODE era, and saw no better place than his solo interview moment in the behind-the-scenes video to show off the moves he’d begun to learn. At first he just spoke about how excited he was for the comeback, with Mark hanging off of his back and chiming in with comments of his own here and there, but after a couple minutes of that he was shrugging the leader off of him and telling the camera to “Watch this!” before launching into an impromptu downrock routine while Mark watched on in horror, looking a little like he was on the verge of a seizure even if Kihyun was perfectly fine. He also tried to do a headstand, and by that point Jeno had also wandered over to see what all the fuss was about, and viewers had the pleasure of watching both the leader and captain attempt to stop Kihyun from giving himself a concussion—the latter looking like he was about to burst into tears, and the former looking as if he was seconds away from collapsing.

BEATBOX 2022 BOOMBOXES & MAKESHIFT ENGLISH LESSONS

21, AND, IN HIS WORDS, “IN HIS PRIME,” the vocalist & dancer took to BEATBOX like a duck to water. While it wasn’t a huge favourite of his, he still liked it well enough and had enough fun on both the sets of the music video and all the photoshoots that accompanied the release to make up for it. The choreography was also a favourite for him in particular, and he practised it so much he could be seen absently dancing along to it whenever he stood still for too long in almost all of the extra content both before & after the release. It was practically ingrained in him, all of it coming to him like muscle memory. He swore up and down he could do the BEATBOX choreo tied up and blindfolded by the end of the era, although he was far from complaining, dragging every idol he vaguely knew (and even ones he hadn’t even introduced himself to) to do the challenge with him backstage at all the music shows they attended. Hardly anyone was safe from Kihyun’s pleading eyes and charming smile, and fans joked they’d seen more of Kihyun on TikTok doing dance challenges than they had seen him on any other platform from all of his past eras combined.

He was also noted for his sudden unexpected closeness with Jaemin in the BEATBOX era. While they were far from just acquaintances, and had expressed their shared love for one another multiple times in the past (even after their not-really-fight they’d shared in their trainee years, the story of which Kihyun had retold during a live with Jeno and could barely get though sentences of without laughing at how ridiculous it sounded all those years later), he just seemed a little closer, a little clingier in all of the behind-the-scenes content; hanging off of his arm or dragging im off somewhere to talk about something or other. When asked about it somewhere, he simply shrugged with a big grin on his face. “I just like Jaemin-hyung,” was all he said at the time, but later in an Instagram post of the two on the set of the music video he had written the caption ‘please give me lots of love—and lots of followers too!’ with a whole array of heart emojis to accompany it, to which Jaemin commented with a lot of laughter and promising he’d bring his dongsaeng all the Instagram fame he seemed to desire. Now most definitely building his streak back up, BEATBOX was a GOOD era for Kihyun all-around.

MY  FAVOURITE  MOMENT: UNBOXING BEATBOX ALBUM

Sat with Donghyuck, Renjun, and Mark, Kihyun was tearing off the cellophane packaging of the album before the rest could even greet the camera, practically desperate to look through the photobook and (most importantly, so he could add it to his ever-growing collection of all the photocards he owned of his fellow members) see who he’d pulled. He yelled out in delight and brandished his brand-new Jaemin PC at the camera, before almost immediately pulling out his phone and prying off the case to slip it into the back of it (covering up the GLITCH MODE era Mark he’d pulled the last time they’d done an unboxing, much to the leader’s dismay). After that was done with, he started spending an unnecessarily long amount of time pouring over each page of the photobook, trying to think of English adjectives to describe them with and then distracting Mark from his own unboxing in order to get him to whisper them in his ear when he couldn’t think of how to translate them. ‘Hot’ and Jaemin’s practically-trademarked ‘Sexy’ was what he ended up coming out with the most.

CANDY  2022 EARMUFFS & CHRISTMAS KARAOKE

CHRISTMAS AT 21 was a very merry affair for Kihyun. He was as festive as could be, even wrangling Renjun and Jisung into buying a fake tree for their dorm that he decorated in a (very chaotic, and very loud) Christmas live a few days before the release of the EP. That seemed like the extent of his social media updates, though, only really appearing after that in group Twitter posts or lives (or occasionally the background of another member’s picture)—but this wasn’t all bad, seeing as it confirmed to most that he enjoyed the colourful and fun winter concept they were going with for the release. The only other real proper online presence he had was the random flurry of Bubble messages his subscribers would receive concerning his ranting and raving about his personal favourites from H.O.T.’s discography, seeing as he took it upon himself to listen to more of them because it was one of their songs they were remaking. Fans took delight in Kihyun’s wide smiles and overall joyful mannerism as he delivered lines about leaving his partner for another, saying his always-cheerful disposition made his performance of the title track all the more enjoyable.

In behind-the-scenes & extra content, Kihyun’s Christmas spirit felt infectious to viewers. There wasn’t a moment where he wasn’t belting out the lyrics to Christmas classics from all countries (even if he had to hold his phone up to Mark’s face on occasion and get him to help him with the pronunciation of some of the lyrics), or dancing around to something only he could hear in his head, or picking up some of the fake-snow they sprinkled around on a few of their sets and chucking it in Chenle’s face before sprinting in the other direction while the Chinese vocalist immediately gave chase, and the rest could only stand and watch it all play out. Now matching his previous four-long streak, CANDY is agreed to be yet another GOOD era for the vocalist.

MY  FAVOURITE  MOMENT: PACKING CANDY ALBUM

He was in Mark, Jisung, and Chenle’s group, and spent most of the time chucking baubles at Chenle, trying to balance the various items placed before them on the table on Jisung’s head & shoulders without him noticing, and steadily making his way through the whole rack of Chupa Chups sitting right beside him unattended rather than doing anything with the actual box in front of him. Mark took over the job for him in the end, leaving him to pretty much do whatever he pleased in the meantime (one of those things was repaying the favour Mark did him by tying him in bows with the ribbon that their boxes had come wrapped in, the leader making faces while he did so but doing absolutely nothing to stop him at the same time).

ISTJ 2023 MBTI FRAUD & IMPULSE DECISIONS

22-YEAR-OLD-KIHYUN was as energetic as ever, full of ideas and eager to get all of them heard. ISTJ was the album where he received the most writing credits, recorded as having helped with the lyrics for all tracks bar Like We Just Met and Blue Wave. Fans liked to see that he was showing a more creative side of himself this era, and that he was vocal about all the things he’d had input in or had helped shape into the final form, polishing it to perfection for their third full album. He was most noticeably supportive in their behind-the-scenes recording videos, where he got through all of his own sessions quickly & efficiently (but with no lack of passion and enthusiasm for the lines he was given—which most were happy to see were more than usual, similar to the WE YOUNG era in terms of numbers, even occasionally soaring a few higher) and then stayed in to listen to all of his other fellow members, cheering them on from behind the glass and dancing around as they recorded, greeting them with a wide hug and endless amounts of praise when they left the booth.

Another thing that was enjoyable for fans was his complete lack of awareness of what an MBTI actually was. He’d heard of them, of course, but he’d never gone as far as to take a test and find out for himself. So Kihyun, curious to see what the fuss was all about, turned on an Instagram live, propped his phone up against his desk, switched his laptop on, and took one there and then. He consulted with viewers about every single one of the questions, taking far too long to complete it than any normal person would-and, when he finally did, disagreeing with his result right up until he saw other people that shared his MBTI. He shut up pretty quick when he scrolled down a little more and saw that he apparently had the same one as Adele, changing his tune almost instantly and saying his result was the best of them all. Officially bumping his longest-running streak up to five, ISTJ was most definitely a GOOD era for Kihyun.

MY  FAVOURITE  MOMENT: MV BEHIND

He was clearly in his element, bouncing around from member to member to play with their hair or jump onto their back or whisper something in their ear before bursting out into a fit of snickers and running off again to see who else he could bother. He played photographer for most of their Instagram posts, taking the outtakes or moments where they had an eye closed or just clearly weren’t ready for his own feed, started a playfight with Jisung and nearly tripped himself up on a stray wire in the process, brought his own mini Bluetooth speaker to set one day so he could have a soundtrack while he caused his chaos, and attempted to show off more tricks he was learning, but was quickly stopped by Mark, who, as soon as he saw him getting in position for what looked like a cartwheel of some sort, was rushing over faster than light—his breakdancing routine from the GLITCH MODE era still very much as the forefront of his mind.

DREAM()SCAPE 2024 MOCKTAILS & ODD-LOOKING FRUITS

AGAIN FRESH OFF A BIRTHDAY (HIS 23RD THIS TIME), the vocalist felt just as excited for the release as he had for GLITCH MODE, even if it wasn’t a full album. It was calling back to their debut days, making a statement through all of the symbolism and hidden messages that was louder than any of them could convey with words, and was altogether a project that hoped to show to everyone how strong their bond actually was, to convince the few out there that were of the opposite opinion that they all loved one another throughout the thick and thin their eight years of being an active subunit, and weren’t likely to stop anytime soon. Kihyun was like Jisung in regards to all the fan-theories being made about the teasers, keeping his mouth mostly shut (although some thought that was just because he was barely on social media as it was), but did comment on some things in particular—namely Jeno’s back, the Jaemin trailer that had him locking eyes with the camera even in between a crowd, and the Chenle pill-biting scene. He kept quiet on his own, making brief comments about how cool he thought he looked on Bubble but not saying much otherwise.

The few things he did share about the comeback were mostly about the music. He had writing credits for the majority of the songs, but also had another piece of news that was exciting for him as a longtime personal goal he’d had for a good while—and that was that he’d assisted with the production on one of the tracks. Most that knew Kihyun knew that music production had been one of his interests since he knew what it was, and so naturally that meant they knew what some of his work in the production area actually getting used in an official release would mean to him. He couldn’t have been happier about it, and that happiness was a sentiment both the members and his closer friends outside of Dream shared with him, mentioning it in passing when talking about DREAM()SCAPE. Even if it only just ended, SMOOTHIE is considered yet another—making this his sixth in a row since ‘the dark ages’—GOOD era for Kihyun.

MY  FAVOURITE  MOMENT: DREAM()SCAPE COUPLE SONG MEETING

Amidst all the chaos, Kihyun was surprisingly quiet. He looked half-asleep for most of the meeting; Jamiroquai baseball cap backwards on his head, eyes drooping closed every now and again, and a thick sweater on that he kept pulling closer to himself as if he wanted it to suddenly transform into a blanket. The only thing he did the whole meeting was play Cooking Mama on his phone (we know this because he shared screenshots of his finished dishes on Bubble afterwards) and vouch for Carat Cake—yes, you heard that right, Carat Cake. The song that most of the members bar maybe Donghyuck acted as if it didn’t exist. He didn’t really care if it wasn’t a couple song, and didn’t really care if it didn’t get picked, either—he just wanted it to be known that was where his vote lay. It was his favourite song on the EP, and hoped that somewhere out there there’d be people that liked it just as much as him. At some point in the middle he got bored with both his phone and the arguments still going on in front of him, so he nestled his head in his arms and attempted to have a nap. Which, predictably, didn’t work that well. By the end of it he was still dead tired, still the only one that liked Carat Cake, but also the only one who had three stars on his Cooking Mama carbonara, and so he considered himself the real winner of that meeting.

[fic-dumpster]

Only time will tell

Word count: 3k+

Pairing: Jujutsu Kaisen (idk gojo? Nanami?) x reader

Warnings: none? Nonsense? Manga divergent, attempt at a fix-it-fic, Y/N is a looser, unfinished, no beta🫡 we die like a jjk characters. 3erd person POV (I wanted to try something dif but i regret that decision now).

Sorcerers, below assistants, managers, and supervisors. Everyone’s part of the well-oiled machine in the so-called Jujutsu world.

Under all of them is Y/N. The janitor of the Jujutsu world.

Fixing someone’s problem was her job. Be it cleaning crumbling buildings, or roads after sorcerers and curses fought. In short, tidying up the aftermath. Because of her, nowadays none gave much thought to what would happen if their cursed techniques damaged their surroundings.

Y/N was content doing what she could to support the order and balance of things… until a pair of clear blue eyes disturbed the balance of her life.

Chapter 1: It’s probably what’s best for you

“It’s probably what’s best for you,” Yuki told Todo’s friend.

Nine years later, Y/N could still hear that same phrase every time she got ready for work. She was given the option to stay behind, to continue to see curses, and never be able to do a thing to stop them. Not human but not a sorcerer either. Not even a window.

Y/N had ignored half of Yuki’s comment back then and that’s why she’s here today. Ready to step into action after some second-grade sorcerers finished his mission.

It wasn’t much, just a couple of crumbled walls and a hole or two. It was nothing compared to whenever she’s sent for cleanup after Gojo Satoru. He made hurricanes and earthquakes look nice.

“The barrier is up,” not even glancing her way, an assistant informed Y/N. “Please hurry up.”

Without answering, Y/N began fixing their mess.

May, 2008.

Aoi Todo, eight years old, beat up a high school kid.

Y/N understood it wasn't her fault, but that didn't stop the strange feeling of remorse flowering in her tummy. Blood decorated the ground as she stood observing Todo sitting on top of the older kid.

“That’s what he gets for mocking me,” Todo spad blood, adding more red to the green grass underneath him, “why does he care if I only hang out with you.”

Todo and Y/N have been the best of friends since he could remember. Todo beat every single person who made fun of Y/N and that happened almost every single day. Crying-Y/N, crazy-Y/N, and freaky-Y/N were some of the names kids in their district called her. Why? well, Y/N could see curses. Those weird shaped monsters scared her to death. So much so that she couldn’t control her fear and thus her reaction to them. Todo didn’t question why she cried. Curses are ugly monsters after all. What he didn’t understand was why all the others bullied his friend.

Back to the present Y/N noticed a fourth presence. Looking up from where she stood, she noticed a woman watching them with a strange glint in her eyes.

“Nice fight, boy!” The blond woman with a motorcycle and a weird snake shouted at Todo. “So, when it comes to women, what’s your type?”

That phrase presented the last day of their normal human life.

August, 2008.

Admitting that seeing curses wasn’t enough, Y/N almost gave up, but the third grader was a stubborn little thing. The training Todo went through was excruciating and Yuki realized pretty fast that Y/N wasn’t sorcerer material.

April, 2016.

While Todo went and became a superstar at Kyoto Jujutsu High, Y/N barely got the cleaning job. No, she didn’t even qualify as a manager or assistant. She couldn’t even perform a veil.

Eight years ago, Yuki did find a very interesting technique in the young girl. Every time Todo was injured, a strange thing happened, time stopped and every drop of blood from the boy went back to where it belonged. Todo looked as if nothing had happened. It wasn’t reverse curse technique. It was something similar to small time jumps… back and forth. It didn’t always work as expected, seeing Todo’s current face scar. Then Yuki soon noticed Y/N’s technique only worked on inanimate objects and… surprisingly, Todo. It also didn’t work when other cursed techniques were active or with cursed objects. It means, no curse energy she wasn’t comfortable with should be present for Y/N’s technique to work. That’s her limit and it didn’t change with time. No matter how much Yuki pushed Y/N.

However, there was something that bothered Yuki. Something she couldn’t grasp or understand about Y/N so instead of just kicking her to the curve, Yuki gave her two options.

“Stay and do what you can to help or go back to being the freak girl at your school, but no Todo this time.” as always, Yuki was blunt. Not an ounce of compassion for the young girl.

May, 2016

The assistant who was assigned to Y/N’s first cleanup job, moved out of the barrier so she could turn back the time in that specific area and fix the demolished street.

And she did it. As if nothing ever happened… the children’s doodles on the sidewalk reappeared, the overgrown weeds, cracks on the asphalt, and even the old stains on walls emerged.

What an amazing power, anyone would think, but Y/N knew better. What is the point if it doesn’t work against anyone or anything?

“I’m done here!” Y/N stepped out of the barrier with a tired expression, though not from exhaustion. “Where to next?” it was because she knew this was gonna be it for the rest of her life.

It’s probably what’s best for me, she thought.

Chapter 2: A watch, a mask and the sun

Unlike most sorcerers, Nanami tried to focus on his assignment, be done and gone. Nothing perturbed his concentration on the job or after it. Except today, when he couldn't find his watch. He looked everywhere for it. Wrists? Nothing. Pockets? Nothing. The car that picked him up? Nada.

Nanami must have dropped it amid the fight, and nothing bothered him more than misplacing his stuff. Oh, and maybe Gojo.

It was late, later than he expected by the time Nanami got back to the place he had faced the curse. Before arriving, he called the assistant manager assigned to the case and asked if anyone had seen a watch or anything remotely similar at the location where he had exorcised a grade-one curse, but none reported anything, so here he stood.

The darkness of the night felt different once it was past midnight, it gave the place even more of an eerie feeling. Once the blond sorcerer stepped into the building or what was supposed to be left of it after the fight, something wasn't right, he stopped dead in his tracks, muscles tense, and only heavy silence filled the place.

The place, which was once destroyed, looked as if no battle had ever taken place in it. Nanami checked his surroundings in case it was a domain or veil, but nothing. Not a single trace of any kind of energy. Not even his own or the curse that once lived there.

Somewhere in Japan, Y/N was in a car.

“Oh my god,” Y/N couldn't believe the price of the watch she found back at the crumbling building. After fixing the place, she almost buried the watch. Now looking up the model, her internet search showed about $4,150.00 and that was even before taxes. Who in their right mind wears that and just drops it? She couldn't wrap her head around such a thing.

After processing the price shock, Y/N wasn’t so clueless as to whom this might belong to. Seeing as it was a first-grade curse and it was exorcised in less than a day, and the price of the watch screamed jujutsu paycheck… oh, and taking into account the mess left at the site. Yeah, it definitely screams jujutsu sorcerer. The answer was clear, it belonged to some big-shot sorcerer, so she did what was right and called the only person she knew with that type of knowledge.

“Shoko? Hi? It's Y/N,” she wasn't going to call Yuki or anyone else. Shoko was the only person decent enough to establish a conversation. “I have a small problem and I don't know if you could help me?”

The next morning, Y/N was at Tokyo Metropolitan Jujutsu High even before sunrise.

“Okay… Shoko said to find Ijichi at the Tokyo branch and he would make sure to deliver it to its rightful owner,” Y/N held the watch in her hands as if her life depended on it. What if it got scratched in her bag or something? Better safe than sorry.

Y/N was so focused on her task as she climbed the infinite stairs to reach the main office that she didn't notice a second person going in the same direction not far from her.

In the same vicinity, Ino Takuma was just arriving from a mission and on his way to give a report when a young woman caught his attention, and he almost missed a step. Going up the stairs in front of him, was a girl holding something he instantly recognized. Nanami’s watch.

He was about to approach the girl when a thought crossed his mind. Nanami never said anything about a woman in his private life… Was she a friend? A girlfriend? Why else would she have his watch? He must have left it at her place last night and she was bringing it to his workplace and…

As the twenty-one-year-old sorcerer continued to create a whole love story for his mentor, Ino felt a bit sad. Nanami never mentioned a girlfriend before, at least not to him. Accepting the situation, Ino was happy for Nanami. She was cute as far as he could see and young— oh, she looked even younger than him. Ino was getting dizzy with so many things passing through his mind at once.

At the top of the stairs, a certain blond sorcerer awaited.

Shoko told Ijichi about Y/N’s predicament and Ijichi did hear about Nanami’s issue from another assistant. He concluded that Nanami and Y/N must be looking for each other so he informed the grade-one sorcerer about her and her estimated time of arrival.

Nanami scanned the girl from head to toe and observed from above how she held the watch as if it were water, and she didn't want a single drop to go to waste poured on her hands. A faint smile flickered on his face at such absurd behavior.

Anyone would think Nanami didn't smile and Ino believed as much until now. Until Ino saw his senior sorcerer flashing a ghost of a smile. If Ino hadn’t been paying close attention he would have thought he imagined it.

Ino still observing, saw that Nanami's head was directed at the girl, who was a couple of steps ahead of himself. That confirmed his suspicions. They were a couple.

Y/N was tired and having zero sleep last night didn't help her situation. “I hope whoever lost this watch carries me back down because there’s no way in hell that I’m going through these stairs again,” she mumbled with heavy breathing.

“I apologize for troubling you,” a monotone voice spoke from above.

Looking up, Y/N’s eyes clashed with a pair of goggles-like glasses. Swallowing hard, she watched the whole structure of the man in front of her. A beige suit and spotted tie, polished shoes, tall, blond, and a sculpted jawline. If Y/N didn't have air before, she sure as hell didn't even remember the function of her lungs now.

As light from the rising sun glimmered, it appeared to only light the blond sorcerer. He was like a godly apparition and Y/N was just a puny human in his presence. Ino, behind her, saw the same sunlit scene and thought the same thing. Nanami is majestic.

Given the awkward silence that followed, Ino assumed his presence was bothering them so he turned around and ran down the stairs as fast as he could. Once he was out of earshot he still took glimpses as he saw them converse with each other.

Back to the present world, Y/N realized she just stood there and stared at the glorious man. A mental slap later, she managed to speak like a normal person. “Yeah, no, I mean-” or as normal as she could.

“I believe that belongs to me,” indicated Nanami with a solemn face, “I appreciate the time you took to deliver it here.”

An internal scream later, and trying to engrave his smooth voice in her auditory system, Y/N nodded agreeing with whatever he said.

“Y/N,” red covered the apple of her cheeks, “Hi, I'm Y/N,” Blink! Don’t forget to blink, “Yes, of course, it was no problem!” She took the last steps with jelly-like legs and finally delivered the watch to its owner.

Nanami’s hand grazed hers when retrieving the item. Y/N felt her pulse flatten and then go into overdrive. A rough, big, calloused hand brushed her skin, and… it was over. He quickly put on the watch.

Breath! Y/N mentally reminded herself. The problem was she never met anyone like Nanami before. Someone who overwhelmed her senses like he did, someone who filled every space available in her mind and left no room for anything else. Was this love at first sight?

As Y/N got lost in thought about the golden man, Nanami had other questions in mind, and he wasted no time in asking them out loud.

“May I know how you came to find my watch?” said Nanami, clearing his throat so Y/N could pay attention to his words.

“Watch? Oh…!” She hurriedly tidied up her thoughts, “I found it at my last job, kinda careless on your part using something so expensive when killing curses, don’t you think?” she scrunched her nose at the image.

Taken aback by the sudden comment, Nanami just ignored it as he acknowledged it was true. “And why were you there? Even if I did get rid of the curse, the place was dangerous since the edifice was about to collapse,” after hearing her, he abruptly became more interested in finding out who she was.

“Well, that’s my part of the job, you know,” Y/N still had to look up at him, even when they were practically on the same step. “Clean up after y'all leave chaos and debris,” moving her hands and fingers in a small explosion-like form.

Confusion clouded Nanami’s face, brows crinkled, “I didn't know a division like that existed.”

“It doesn't,” Y/N chuckled, “and if it does then I am the only member- ” She was about to explain a bit more about her role on the nonexistent cleanup team when the ringing of her phone interrupted.

“I- “ but Nanami never got the chance to finish either because his phone rang too.

“It seems we both have other matters to attend to. I'm happy you got your watch! Have a nice day!” Y/N almost flew down the stairs as she didn't even let Nanami say his goodbyes.

The sorcerer gave a quick glance at his phone before looking back to the girl who almost rolled down the stairs. If Ino hadn't popped up and caught the girl in his arms then she sure would have kissed the hard stone of the stairs.

Ignoring the two youngsters chatting on the stairs, Nanami called back the number that just interrupted his conversation, he had some questions still unanswered.

“Ye-”

“NANAMIN! Who’s the girl you were just standing with?!!” Gojo could never mind his own business.

Well, that answered one of his questions. Gojo didn't know Miss Clean-up team.

Running down the stairs isn’t a good idea, especially for Y/N since her foot-leg coordination was not the best. So a slip and a scream later, closing her eyes, she swore she could taste the rock of the steps. Until a pair of arms stopped the fall.

Holding her bridal style, Ino kept walking down the stairs. “So… Y/N, right?” said Ino, as if carrying someone was such a mundane task, “how long have you known Nanami?”

“What?” oh gods, not this too. Why was he still carrying her? Y/N felt her face redden three times more than it already was, “Uhm, just now.”

“Just… now… you mean… he isn't… you two aren’t…” Ino’s heart was shattered. He felt as if his parents divorced or something. A heavy disappointment burned in his chest as the story he created earlier disappeared before his eyes. He stopped moving.

“Hey, I am very thankful for you… you know… catching me but-”

“Did you steal it?” Ino’s heartbeat accelerated, thinking of the precious watch he wanted so much. “Are you a thief?”

Ino knows he tends to create stories before he even has the chance to check the facts as seen in the previous situation. But the watch was such an important thing for him too and she wasn't what he thought she was.

“Thief? Me?” Y/N outrageously replied, “You’re the one walking with a ski mask! All in black!”

As they bickered, Ino moved once more, and they both kept going down the stairs. Forgotten was the fact that he was holding Y/N.

Once home and ready to take a nap, Y/N thought back to her bizarre day. Two high-grade sorcerers and a lost watch. What a day…

After those encounters, she now sat in her room and again, mentally slapped herself. Why did she act like that? That was such an out-of-character behavior for her. It must be her ovulation or something.

Oh… shut… Y/N forgot about Aoi’s call.

Chapter 3: Elementary school disaster

2017

“What type of idiot makes such a mess?” Seventeen-year-old Y/N could barely hold the acid in her throat. The putrid smell of rotten meat surrounded the young girl who walked alone towards the elementary school entrance.

The curse that was exorcised a couple of hours ago, more like exploded, was taking its sweet time to evaporate. Y/N hated working nightshifts and it was even worse that the whole place was covered with a nasty purple slimy substance. Since it wasn't a living thing, she knew her technique would work just fine.

“Oookay… let’s get this done and go home,” said Y/N to none in particular. Already used to working on her own and maintaining monologues by herself. She focused on the task and… Nada… not a single thing happened.

Her energy wasn't working. Not a single piece of glass went back to normal. Nothing.

“What the hell?!?” Y/N shook her hands trying to activate her curse technique.

Not far from where she stood, a man in monk-like robes observed the lonely girl shaking her arms like a maniac. He would have called her a monkey with disgust, but something wasn't right with her. Besides the fact that she was standing alone at night and dancing weirdly. It wasn't the same sensation as a sorcerer or a human. What was she?

Soon the intrigue died, he couldn’t waste his time with whatever this was. Picking up the student ID from the rooftop, the man disappeared. Leaving the girl to her antics.

“YESS!” Y/N finally got a hold of her powers and the building began to fix itself.

A/N: I had an idea once upon a time but I no longer have it so here’s crumbs. Aaaand I’m sorry if my English sucks… I forgot how to write in this language. Let’s blame Gege either way. This is soooo old btw~ just posting to free my soul of the guilt.

[3416]

1634 primer (2015-2023)

since my brain refuses to let me think about anything BUT the toronto maple leafs these days, i've decided to compile info/links/photos/videos of the dynamic on the team i personally find most compelling, charming, heartwarming, hilarious: mitch marner and auston matthews (aka 1634 aka the heart and soul of this current leafs team in my humble opinion). this will cover the beginning of their nhl careers to the end of the 22-23 season. for anything from 2023 summer onwards, here’s part 2.

i will be citing my sources, but if any info needs corrected or there are things i've missed, don't be afraid to hmu. i've only been around for a couple months so 🫡 😘 ✌️ this is going to be long-winded (almost 4k kinds of long-winded...) let's DO IT:

2015-2017 (rookie era)

in june 2015, mitch marner is drafted to his hometown team, going 1st round 4th overall in more beginnings of an effort to rebuild the leafs franchise. here are photos from that day. here's an athletic article about why they picked him that makes me cry. 

in april 2016, auston matthews is drafted 1st overall and is basically deemed the savior of the toronto maple leafs from the jump. here are pics from that. (please look at the one below of auston putting on a 16 leaf jersey on draft day and tell me that wasn't fate of SOME sort... i know it's the year but. THE VIBES. the what's-to-come of it all) (here’s a sportsnet documentary on auston/his journey to the nhl).

they played against each other at the 2016 world juniors (dec 2015-jan 2016). here they are on the cover of world hockey news before they had even met... as boys to watch in the hockey world

according to mitch, the first time they actually met was when he said hi to auston in an elevator at world juniors. then mitch says the night auston was drafted, he was at a concert and everyone started an auston matthews chant that he was 100000% in on and excited about. and it was pretty early on in development days that they became instant friends. here's the vid @ ~4:21 and here's a gifset

during their very first day of training camp, auston broke a pane of glass off of a pass from mitch when they were just messing around (again.... fate). here's the vid and here's an article about it

here's them fighting each other for the puck at camp... there's something about it that makes me emotional... their tenacity as rookies...

one of the first ever hangouts recorded on social media... they went to a fair or smth august 2016 (gifs)

at first, they didn't play together very much. in fact, through a lot of the coach mike babcock era (2015-2019), they weren't linemates at all, as auston usually had willy on his right wing. (here's an article justifying that decision from babcock)

that didn't stop them from developing a lot of habits and routines together though. this whole half of a morning skate interview with mitch... "hopefully we're together for a long time and can build up some great chemistry" "that's a big part of what me and matts try to do when we drive together, just keeping it light and have fun with each other" (gifs... it kills me)

"Not only are Matthews and Mitch Marner clicking on their respective forward lines, they are having a good time in the car driving to and from practice and games."

they used to come into the the arena in the same ways on game days (watch any leafs blueprint ep from this time... they’re always getting off the bus together or walking into scotiabank together attached at the hip), went out of their way to greet the doormen and staff, sometimes showed up in matching outfits as evidenced here, here, here, and honestly.. so many more times. it’s about the coordination... the texting each other their fits.

the famous copycat hat moment (gifs).... their goofy responses and getting chirped on twitter about it by everyone and stamkos) (auston’s smile)

they started making sure they were coming out onto the ice together for warmups, always in line toward the back (still the same to this very day). here (x, x, x, x) are just a couple shots of that... they have a handshake they do on their way out (still to this day also), and i think this is the one of the first times it was recorded.

and on the rare occasion they DID get to play together... they were always the Most™ excited and cute about it. here's them talking about playing on the same line, here and here and here are some first moments of cellying that deserve to be looked at for 10000 years... just pure excitement and joy

here's mitch hopping right on into a ridiculous fight on auston's behalf. and here are their responses about it in the media afterward (cute, loyal, grateful).. and here’s auston pissed about an uncalled shove on mitch ... even though they’re not big fighters, they ARE big defenders of one another

2016 centennial classic where they were so cute (x x x x x)

there are lots of practice photos/vids and media of them around or mentioning each other obviously (like this hug at a scrimmage that kills me personally), but anther one of my favorite standout days was this practice when auston had mitch falling on the ground in laughter. gifs: "I think a lot of people don’t understand how big of a jokester he is at times. He’s always pretty serious, but that’s not his kind of personality at all" (pics)

so many bench shenanigans (literally too many to try to round up)

(what i assume is) a broadcast quote i can't seem to track down but so many ppl have used it for edits and gifs that i believe it: “They love him, clearly Auston Matthews loves him.” ... they're always saying the most ridiculous things about them as a pair

case in point.. they also said this: "Matthews and Marner together - their eyes light up […] They've been dying to play together." (basically confirmation vid here from auston.. his hopeful little smile, help)

one of the most iconic moments has to be the time the camera caught them singing 'livin' on a prayer' together on the bench and it became a whole thing in the media. here's the moment, their responses (gifs, gifs), and bon jovi's response too.

they used to play video games as a unit and basically annoy the shit out of everyone. thanks zach hyman for the confirmation: “They have this whole strategy, whenever we play. Auston sits in the back and snipes, and Mitch runs around and looks for you. They have this whole little strategy they put together. And then they laugh. They start dying laughing. They’re clowns.”

they have so many oddball social media interactions and a lot of them are probably lost to time but: here's a meme of mitch being part of both of their twitter profiles, here's some petulant mitch getting clowned on and compared to mickey mouse, here's more auston making fun of him for looking 12, “can’t be a boys week when your gfs are there...... but u look nice :)”, purp.... the joint ootd.. who was doing it like them?, “getty images”, “walking advertisement”

holding bozak’s baby together at the xmas party (gifs)

golfing, hanging out at the mall, shopping

despite their very complimentary talk of each other in media, they're also not afraid to razz each other. "he gets sensitive sometimes", "just kind of get him grinding", auston chirping mitch and the insurance ads he does, mitch making fun of his hair (pre balding era... wonder if that’s off limits now LOL)

here’s a vid of the 2016 leaf rookies at a christmas market... mitch and auston were very cute... mitch uploaded a story of them on the ferris wheel smiling their asses off too

auston recording him on his ig story here and here while they were filming this batting practice vid

here’s a goalie challenge video mitch and auston did with matt martin and barstool back in the day (”don’t take slapshots” “you took seven”)

here are some misc gifsets from this time period: x x x x x x

i'll end this section with a couple of my favorite and the most iconic game pictures from this era... 

if you're curious about more stuff from the rookie days, i highly recommend checking out this initial 1634 primer from @/zoehickel, @/thiccbrock's soft bros tag, and @/mitchski's auston x mitch tag (pro tip: add "/chrono" at the end if you want to see everything chronologically).

2018-2020 (not-so-rookie era)

nothing extremely important or concrete separates this timeline but mitch and auston clearly started to grow into their roles on the team and were no longer just rookies (altho i compiled some very basic stats from wikipedia and both of them have just been crazy talented and at the top of team goals/assists/stats almost every year since they were drafted.. they’ve never really been ‘just rookies’ but )

from what i gather, early 2018 was one of the first sightings of mitch's drawings on his gloves... a habit that auston had also been into since his rookie year... mitch started doing this toward the tail end of the hardass babcock days as a reminder that hockey is supposed to be about having fun (here's a not-official-seeming article about their clashes w babcock) (here are some pics of the doodled gloves of that era)

here’s an article talking about how much mitch and auston loved playing together and tried to take advantage of it and prove to babcock they should be allowed more often (also includes goofy bts content of them sharing a fantasy football team)

babcock got fired bc of nasty coaching tactics (here’s a story on what he did to mitch as a rookie), and in came sheldon keefe, who is more mild-mannered and is willing to experiment with auston and mitch playing together so they got more time as linemates these years.

auston and mitch developed a warmup routine together before games where they stayed on the ice a bit longer than everyone else and passed the puck back and forth (here are some vids from this time period: x x x x x)

the team did a big nhl video game faceoff early 2018, and mitch was auston's #1 hype man about it: gasin him up, helping him warm up, sittin behind him making commentary, and acting like it was his own personal victory when auston won

instagram teasing for mitch’s 22nd bday... “babe !”

they participated in this ‘need for speed’ challenge video with natalie spooner and laura stacey to promote the canadian women’s hockey league... competitive dorks is all i have to say about that.

at the end of 2018, mitch and auston took part in a real production of the nutcracker as cannon dolls... and it is as absurd and amusing as it sounds. famous quotes from the event include: “he couldn’t let go of me”, “that’s what friends are for”, “mitch could just sit around and pout the whole time which he’s so used to doing”...  here's the vid (gifs) (pics w ballerina) (more goofy pics) (ig story)

some cute practice pics

in 2019, apple had them film a commercial where auston just followed mitch around titled Mitch Marner Shot on iPhone by Auston Matthews... (gifs) (tumblr vid) (more gifs) just any excuse to talk about it forever... it's arguably one of the greatest things they've ever done... pov of dreams tbh. here's another snippet that didn’t make the cut of them laughing... here’s some gifs of ANOTHER snippet.. and here’s an article about auston with some quotes about how he and mitch are great friends and they were just going to “their” favorite places in toronto that day. (also THEIR favorite restaurant being sotto... the exact place mitch/steph go on very special dates apparently according to this pandemic leaf to leaf... food for thought)

another thing about auston and mitch... they WILL be forming unbreakable bonds with people on the team like it's a group activity, and the most formative for them was probably patrick marleau, who basically became their dad for the 2017-2019 seasons. they would always hang out on the road together, watch movies and go to dinner, etc etc. one time mitch n patty when on vaca without auston... ymca in the car with patty and his sons... “he’s obviously old but he acts even younger than me and mitch”... mitch and auston singing happy birthday to him... here’s a christmas party pic of them that kills me... that here's a video where they talk about their relationship... here's another long interview they did together during lockdown... here is an emotional gifset about the three of them, and below are pictures of the family unit (and one rather... interesting... see: the 3rd pic) (here are pics from 2023 when the marleaus came to a leafs game)

morgan rielly on mitch and auston: “[they] are like best friends. they’re different personalities... when you watch the dynamic with the two of them, whether it’s on the road or on a practice day, it’s pretty funny. it changes every year. it’s a unique dynamic for sure.” and him on mitch/auston/patty also

here’s mitch and auston honoring patty with an appearance from the truly wild jumbo

another case of the trio vibes would be freddie andersen, who was on the team 2016-2021. he was basically besties with auston and they spent lockdown together later, but during the 2020 all star game, all three of them attended and freddie, dedicated his goalie helmet to his best friendship w them. "you look cute?" "yeah, i look cute." ..... also here’s some pre-game high five rituals with the three

more all star content: failed attempted at a heart, the blueprint ep (gifs)

the style/clothes content continues... auston was featured in gq mag and here's mitch's giggly reaction to it. "he's a big style guy and i respect it" (gifs)

auston attended a marner assist foundation event in 2018 to support mitch's charity work (some sm pics from here and here)... also went to the marner assist invitational and got dragged for his tape job (here’s a selfie w them)

here’s some intense cellys from this era: like hello? .. SWEET PEAS... this bench moment....... whatever this was

“Marner and Matthews entered the NHL together in 2016-17 and remain good friends and road roommates now. Marner sounded genuinely enthused about his buddy’s new contract, and sent him a text once word broke Tuesday joking that they’re going to have to figure out where to be neighbours once they enter a higher tax bracket next season.” fellas.... is it gay to plan your future in the suburbs of toronto together 

here they are dancing at naz kadri’s wedding ... hand check

which teammate does auston matthews like to watch the most? the answer won’t surprise you!

mitch was planning to stream and play nhl with this random streamer during lockdown and auston literally asked to join and hang... “matts, i’ll talk to you.. in like an hour probably” aka mitch is a constant texter/talker (ALSO here is a twitter thread recounting to the experience since the streams gone forever... rip 2020-2021 mitch the streamer)

here are some of my favorite pictures from this time period:

2021-present (superstar era)

they're both alternate captains, very clearly leaders of this team, and basically recognized as superstars in the league too with continued individual success. they're the last ones out on the ice at warmup still, the first ones to cheer for their teammates milestones, the last ones to give the goalies big hugs after wins. they still don’t always play together 100% of the time, but they individually enhance the players around them and have played career high years when they’re at each other’s sides.

confirmation of their warmup rituals and the fact that it's something they've been doing together, to feel good about themselves, since the very beginning ........ the same as back then .... here’s very recent vid

still doing their little handshake too, with the added bonus of a behind-the-back one too sometimes (mitch does the handshake line for the whole team by this point)

"it really seems like we're not cellying really by ourselves. we're constantly going in to hug each other. i think that just shows the amount of joy and happiness we have going for each other right now."

mitch basically assisted on a large percentage of auston's goals these past few record breaking years that they've been allowed to play together. here's a video after the 21-22 season where mitch talks about how thankful and generous auston has been.

here is a tumblr compilation about their chemistry after they've gotten to play significant stretches as linemates (literally part of the most offensively dangerous line in the 21-22 regular season).

“have you ever had this kind of chemistry with another teammate before in your life?” “no, not really”

they're so silly... so much goofy inconsequential content is out there but: mitch fighting the post that hurt matthews at practice.

here’s mitch checking on auston after he took a puck in the knee at practice

forgotten 2021 christmas vid i can’t track down but. matching mugs and whipped cream mustaches. also just look at them in THIS...

the fashion saga continues.. where here they anecdotally have the same spikey high top/low top shoes (they also have lots of random matching sneakers but i’m not knowledgeable enough to compile those)

this media day fashion trend video... where do you even start with this. “you better put some earrings in here for auston” like auston is the center of his fashion conscience. “i won’t wear one of those.. i don’t think... maybe.. we’ll see” you know DAMn well if auston recommended--- “matts has got those- he’s got a big frame”

they both wear chains with their numbers on them (recent fit pics of auston here and mitch here), and though they’re not exactly matching but the coordination, the knowing they talk about fashion and accessories... them having these chains dates back to 2018 btw

their mutual social media hype for each other's accomplishments never gets old: mitch breaking game point streak in 2022... random overtime winner in 2022... auston hitting 50 goals in 21-22 season... "@austonmatthews what an achievement. proud to be a part of this journey with you"... "congrats to my brother @austonmatthews on his historic night"... “couldn’t have done it without my boys”.... they were so extra just bc of a pic of them hugging... like sure ! ... “my fucking guy is a beast” YOUR guy?? .... mitch basically campaigning for individual awards for auston every time he scored a goal ... “well deserved my dog” “lets go baby” when he finally won them... “new range got that dawg in it”

“[auston’s] always very thankful. he’s done a couple really big thank yous for me already and given me a couple things that i’m just gonna keep between us two... he’s a great guy and obviously deserves what he got.”

in the same way they grow attached to people as a pair, michael bunting joined the team and auston and mitch's top line in 2021 and a best friendship blossomed between the trio.

they went to auston's home in arizona over the 2022 summer to "build chemistry", play golf, play tennis, and just generally hang out

they also potentially celebrated auston’s birthday there because here’s a photo of them at auston’s house with his fav chef and here’s auston with his bday cake in the same outfit ...... best friends

went to a jays game together right at the beginning of the season, this image..... a video of them chatting :’) 

here is bunting talking about what it's like to get to know them

iconic bench moment between the three of them... another cutesy one

the 2022 heritage classic costumes/entry together like usual, plus the new trio, plus practice pic

their 2022-2023 gloves where they are still drawing cute little doodles of hearts and dog initials and smileys to remind themselves to have fun

"i think the sky's the limit for [mitch]. i think he's just unbelievable. i love playing with him. i think after he came back, he was probably the best player in the world for the rest of the year. he's incredible to be out there with and watch."

commentators weighing in on their joint legacy and saying “they’re magic out there together. they are what they are because of each other” 

here are some more quotes about their impact on the franchise and the way their names are basically cemented in history... the modern day odd couple, they say

for auston’s birthday in sep 2022, mitch commissioned a drawing of auston and his dog felix as a gift

speaking of their dogs..... this goofy insta story 

auston feeding mitch a golf club at a charity event? or are they using it as a mic... who can dissect their weird antics

the blueprint episode about mitch has some cute bg stuff of them (gifs), as well as one of my fave little head bonks here

some cellys/bench moments these years too bc they don’t stop: big squeeze... he just lauched himself... i just love them... arms wide open... mitch is a cartoon character... what in the hell is THIS... iconic moment ... 22-23 season cellys so far.... this riveting convo

“all of this doesn‘t really happen without him.” okay another unverifiable quote but like. look at those images and tell me it’s not something he’d say... you can‘t

auston asked about mitch trade rumors: "Mitch is an unbelievable player, he's an unbelievable teammate. In this room, everybody loves Mitch; everybody loves everybody. We really have a tight bond. All the noise coming from the outside, you guys have fun with that." 

i’m getting derailed here bc half of these moments are not that significant but i fucking love these pics of yappy auston... like of course he’s talkin to mitch

plenty of ribbing is still going on.... or at least attempts: “those are loud flip flops”... though we have transitioned into blatant confirmation that auston can and will be bossed around by mitch when he says stuff like “mitch will assault me if i don’t pick him [to bring with me to a desert island], but i’d like to have him there too”

team bonding at a lake house but you only tag mitch? that vs the history of mitch complaining about not being included...

the importance of the content we received on the 2021 media day cannot be overstated. here’s 5 questions with auston and mitch, yearbook superlatives, career day (images: x x x), and then 2022′s who’s more likely? (all must-sees, i promise... even confirm themselves as the best bromance... if i spent too long on any single revelations this post would be 500k words more)

also the 2021 leafs call out video and the 2022 leafs call out video absolutely showcase how annoyingly endearing they are about each other... whether they’re trying to harp on one another or give genuine compliments... amazing that a dynamic can be captured so clearly when they’re not even in the room at the same time

“mitchelly marner, i’m grateful for my guy” (gifs) (the new nickname... the incessant use of my guy... mental breakdown inducing)

in november 2022, mitch tied a franchise point streak record (with a very valiant effort from the whole team to get him an empty net goal in the final 2 minutes, i might add) and auston was the first one to scoop him up in celebration and then (where he’s normally :| in media these days) was very :D and proud about it and him afterwards. “i’m so happy he got it” (mitch went on to set the new record at 23 games)

and as for extremely recent, both auston and mitch hit their 500 career points mark within a week of each other (1/3/23 and 1/7/23). here are screencaps, gifs of mitch getting to hit 500 with auston on the ice.. then auston collected the puck and pretending to throw it over the glass and prompting the broadcasters to say: “they’ve celebrated so many milestones together”

here are some teammates and coaches talking about their chemistry together and the fact that they push each other to be better players and enjoy it (tumblr vid)

there’s them being hype about the fact that they were SUPPOSED to go the 2023 all star game together on instagram (auston didn’t end up going bc of injury)

here’s a 2023 athletic article about how different they are in personality but how clear their leadership and friendship is (the athletic... tumblr)

mike johnson went on a podcast pre 22-23 playoffs and said “they like playing here, they like playing with each other, they care about each other, they want to have sex– success together” .... the freudian slip 

toward the end of the 22-23 season, mitch was nearing 100 points (never made it) BUT they kept showing this graphic about how mitch has assisted on 99 of auston’s career 299 goals up to that game (ALL DESPITE THEM NOT PLAYING REGULARLY TOGETHER TIL A COUPLE YRS IN)

mitch being asked if he prefers to drive his own line or play with auston... he says it’s always fun and special to play with auston bc of their chemistry and the way they're not afraid to “give it to each other” about where they need to improve. “that’s the kind of friendship and teammate you want. that’s something we’ve built a bond over” (vid) (gifs)

mitch marner got married on july 29th 2023, and auston came back to canada (after skipping OTHER weddings like his “favorite teammate” alex kerfoot and ex teammate tyson barrie) to be in attendance :’) here’s a video of him watching mitch n steph dance there way into the reception, here’s a picture nazem kadri generously posted, here’s a pic of him with mitch and willy, here’s gifs of mitch and auston singing shirtless at the reception, and most 👀 of them all... here’s a pic of auston watching mitch and steph’s first dance. ..

here are some of my favorite more current pics of them

i also gif or post pretty much every 1634 moment from current leafs content/games, so you can check out my hockeyedit tag for some goofy bench or ice shenanigans that didn't make the cut. or my 1634 tag in general.

TL;DR

mitch marner and auston matthews were basically drafted to the maple leafs to be two of the faces of the franchise, and they share a similar burden in that with the leafs lack of playoff success thus far being leaders on the team. they’ve accomplished so many records at an individual level in tandem because of their talents and their chemistry on the ice, and they play their best and happiest hockey when they’re allowed to play together. despite different backgrounds and personalities, they’ve developed an extremely charming relationship off the ice, one built from years and years of intense mutual support, playful teasing, and a shared vision for the team. they seem to be so much more outwardly excited for each other’s successes; it becomes so easy to root for them...... regardless of what the future holds for the current maple leafs team, the two of them have done enough to have their names in the hockey history books, and we are all so lucky that there’s much more ahead of them and that we get to WATCH.

if a single person made it this far, i love you, lol. i personally will never be getting over them and am always looking for more content or unseen stuff so lmk if i missed something crucial. edit (6/18/23): if you’re looking for more pictures of them, i have removed watermarks of 95% of their images together on getty and organized them by tags on this blog @1634archive​ if you’d like to peruse!

hopefully some people get some sort of joy out of this like i have in compiling it all!! cheers to much much more 1634 in the future too. ❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

last updated: 9/12/23

[foxes-that-run]

Sorry if this question has been answered a thousand times! But yes, I do really want to know where T was April 29th!!! Can you give more information on this story?

There are previous posts on it in 2016 timeline, song analysis' for I did something bad, and @tameimpala222's post on Calvin Harris' Ole.

Do you really want to know where I was April 29? 

This high infidelity line could be as much to fans as to Calvin. Like Dear Reader, it says to fans how some see Taylor in a narrow idealised way

OK, but what happened?

Set up:

Taylor and Calvin had been on pretty rocky ground. There has been rumours that he had been unfaithful, that Taylor was jealous of yachtgate and that Calvin was jealous of that jealousy.

Taylor won Album of the Year on 16 February and in Miss Americana said she felt alone and had no one she could call. (21 Minutes)

Harry and Kendall started the year with Yachtgate 6 January. Kendall was in Europe and didn’t go to Harry’s birthday party on the 21st and they arrived and left separately Jeff’s birthday 23 January so hendall was over then. They weren’t seen together for months apart from a pap walk that promoted KUWTK.

Harry was in LA at the same time. He wore this blue Hawaii st Laurent shirt on his 22nd birthday, also the day of the feeling 22 tweet which went viral. Taylor tumblr likes Holy Ground lyrics about falling apart. Taylor was in LA but not seen. 2 weeks later he wrote Sweet Creature which is a love song, but also references seeding doubt in a love interests' partners mind.

At this time, Calvin also started writing a diss track (Ole) about a guy (Harry) who ignores his GF (Kendall) for someone else (Taylor) who is a fake girlfriend to the subject (Calvin), the video shades Hendall and Haylor.

28 February - 29 April

Harry and Taylor then started hinting at hooking up, or wanting to. On 28 February Taylor looks stunning and alone at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party, Harry tweets Elvis lyrics about not being over an ex and posted a colour photo to instagram (it had been B&W since OOTW came out unless he saw Taylor).

Taylor and Calvin posted about the 1 year anniversary a week later and spent 3 days with backgrid in the Bahamas. Harry went back to London and looked grumpy getting a parking ticket that week. :/

But then it seemed back on 25 March when Taylor and Harry return to LA the same day 👀 and are seen around LA separately.

On the 3rd April Taylor and Calvin are hostile at the iHeartRadio awards, blinds they fought in the pap walk.

The end for Tayvin was at Coachella/Bleachella/TIWYCF when Calvin didn't give Taylor credit for This is What you Came for. A year later there was a blind item that TIWYCF was about who Taylor was having an affair with (in hindsight it’s really Haylor), to me this helps explain why it went so bad over it.

Harry again tweeted Cars lyrics about being with an ex that you love no matter what And then finally, as well known Taylor went to Gigi's birthday party on the 28th, and did not show up for promo for TIWYCF, neither Harry or Taylor are seen on the 29th.

The next Day Harry is still in LA in a walk of shame to a Gym and Calvin goes on Radio to say she isn't working.

Alas it didn't work out for either couple, Tayvin imploded. Harry went to Europe to shoot Dunkirk then record HS1 and Taylor was looking for someone to be with her all the time and publicly move on from the Tayvin disaster. You know the rest.

For bonus the promo Taylor was a no show was possible this interview with Calvin had Nick Grimshaw, AKA Harry's close friend and long term maker of lighthearted Haylor jokes, in Calvins house on April 29 2016!

Later references

What makes this and interesting comment on Taylors fans thinking they know everything is that it wasn't known.... Were it not for Ole and Kiwi's videos that is!

Later in 2016 Calvin released Ole that references outfits Taylor, Kendall and Harry all wore in this period and Calvin posted to instagram wearing Harry's exact shirt from February.

Harry recreated Taylors look from this party in the protagonist of the Kiwi music video, which refers to when Taylor said at 2015 Oscar’s she was “going home to the cats” and Calvin (prick) "When she's alone, she goes home to a cactus (Uh) In a black dress, she's such an actress"

And finally, for irony and lols:

On 29 April 2017 (the 1 year anniversary of this high infidelity) Harry got papped wearing the same shirt.

In September Capital FM used the photo Calvin's used to troll Harry and Taylor in an article calling him a 'baller'. Harry has a leaked song from this era, Super Pretty with the line "Said you're happier with that big baller that we both knew growing up"

And it still continues in when Harry's friend Roman Kemp presented Calvin with Harry Styles Bathwater at the 2024 Brits.

Joe Alwyn, the Bowery Gastropub & Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk "reshoots"

A Reddit and Toe-Tumber version of this story is:

Joe was in LA for BLLHW reshoots and was with co-star Garrett Hedlund, who's friends with Caleb Followill who is married to Lily Aldridge who was at Gigi's party where we know Taylor was. There is a pub named the Bowery Gastropub on Sunset and Vine so of course Taylor met Joe there because 6 degrees of separation. It somehow makes sense that Tayvin continued and Hiddleswift happened and that she wrote in the lover journal that Toe started dating 3 months before January.

Issues with this story:

This story hinges on a screenshot from an office assistants LinkedIn claiming to have worked freelance on reshoots for the film for 2 months March and April 2016. If you search the words in the screenshot the Linkedin profile does say that. However if you look at profiles for editors, videographers and producers on the film they all ended mid-2015. Perhaps the freelance office assistant was working on a different film, or listed the wrong task.

Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk had no reshoots. They had no budget for them and shot specifically to avoid them. It was also not shot in LA.

Footage for the film had already been debuted on 16 April 2016. They were definitely not still shooting a low budget film 2 weeks later when it was being screened and was released in November

Joe was in London on 20 March 2016. There is no reason to think Joe was in LA.

Joe and Garrett Hedlund did attend the Met Gala - however as a C/B lister Garrett would not have a plus one, more likely he was Lily's plus one!

Caleb Followill, and his brother and bandmate Nathan Followill go way back with Harry - Nathan has a matching tattoo of the other half of Harry's broken heart tattoo! Harry (and Taylor) were at a Calab Followill's 2015 birthday party when they were last seen together. If the Followill connect/ Bowery gastropub is true at all, it was not a no-name friend of a friend who was in London! 😂 It was a BFF who was in LA and flirting with his ex-GF.

This mental gymnastics to fit Joe into a story that three artists have described is a good example of how swifties want to keep Taylor in a defined perfect box, which she wants out of. It reminds me of this quote she gave Rolling Stone in 2014, about the snowboarding accident and OOTW:

"People think they know the whole narrative of my life, I think maybe that line is there to remind people that there are really big things they don’t know about."

[peachjagiya]

https://www.tumblr.com/peachjagiya/749351087478292480/httpswwwtumblrcompeachjagiya7493066218434560

I hope you don’t mind if i add my two cents. I read this ask and realized that we as human beings really have a problem seeing these idols as actual human beings who have layers and complicated feelings.

This non shipper anon mentioned that Jikook stopped being as close around 2021 but that is definitely not true. First of all, many shippers especially taekookers feel like there was a sudden uptick in jikook moments around a certain time (2017) but that is not true at all. Go back and watch content from the very beginning and pay attention to the boys talk on Lives, during festas and other moments and you discover that Jk and Jimin had always been very close. Jimin was the one who Jk spoke to when he got back from the US and contemplated abandoning his dream to become an idol and go for dancing instead.

https://x.com/chicknbunny13/status/1750750874031296552?s=46

In a log they did in 2013, we had Jimin and Jungkook telling us that the two of them were in the habit of putting blankets and sleeping together on the floor outside their rooms. The very first bangtan bomb that was ever posted was a of Jk taking videos of Jimin back in 2013. During Festa 2014, we heard from the members that Jk usually piled clothes on his bed to go sleep in Jimin’s bed and even back then, when Jk was asked which hyung comforted him the most, he said it was Jimin. Fast forward to 2015 when Tae did a Live from Japan in the hotel room that he shared with Jimin and mentioned that Jimin and Jk were together even though the 3 of them had planned to do a Live together or in 2016 where Jimin was the first member Jk ever gave a birthday gift to. I am listing some of these moments chronologically just to show u that Jimin and Jungkook had always been close, very close infact it’s just that jikook as a ship gained excess popularity in 2017 after Jungkook posted GCF in Tokyo. So it’s not really that there became an uptick in Jikook moments from there, it is that people started paying more attention to Jikook after Jungkook’s GCF. The best way to see some if these things is to watch Vlives and bangtan bombs from pre 2017 era and you will see what i am saying.

As i mentioned before, non shipper anon said Jikook used to be close till like 2021 and mentioned that their last sighting outside of work was around march 2022 but that’s not true at all. Remember that in PTD Vegas Jikook were joined at the hip, they left the concert venue together on all 4 days of the concert and one of those days, they went out to eat with Yoongi and staff and some non shipper Armys visited the restaurant they went to in Vegas and said they were told that Jikook sat together on one table and yoongi sat on another with staff. Plus Jimin and Jk still boxed together with Tommy Saem (Jk’s boxing coach) and based on that April 2022 Live with Vminkookkhope, jikook were even on a diet together. So many times people forget to facture in the point that Jimin started working on his album in May. Immediately after PTD in Vegas Jimin moved in with Pdogg to work on his album because he literally had nothing prepared so i can imagine that during that period, Jk and Jimin didn’t spend as much time together because Jimin was busy and i also noticed that Taekook seemed to get really closer during that period. Infact we all saw taekook hang out outside of work more frequently by the end of 2022 and part of 2023 than we had seen in all their 10 years of being BTS. Like anon said, jikook were the ones always together everywhere both in and outside of work. Even in 2021 while they were in LA, we found out that Jikook worked out together everyday, came back from concerts together, ate together and untop of that, Jk spent alot of time in Jimin’s room hanging out with him. So i feel like the distance we sensed between jikook starting 2022 was mainly because of how busy Jimin got. It tracks.

I am not someone who really believes that any of the members are dating each other but i know that Jimin and Jungkook have and have always had an extremely close bond since debut. It wasn’t always very visible because of their somewhat complicated dynamic and because of the fact that other pairings like taekook, yoonmin and Vmin overshadowed jikook but that bond had always been there and if you pay attention, you see it.

I believe that taekook too have always been close but i also believe that there was a period where they grew a little distant. I know that, that is not something taekookers will ever agree about but it is clear to me because i have been in this fandom since the end of 2015 and have watched alot of things unfold. I agree that jikook were paired up alot at some point but i think that was because of their chemistry and closeness and not because BH had some agenda to push. How does pairing pple in subunits potray them as closest or a couple? Jikook as a ship gained recognition and popularity not because of the company but because of Jungkook and his GCF and yes seeing them together alot on content enforces certain beliefs but did yoh ever think of how you saw them? What are they doing when you see them on content? Most times you see them together in the back even when they are not the main focus of the camera or you see them coming and going together or you see them staying back to rehearse or practice together, or you see them staying back to watch and support each other during their solo practices, or you hear members talking about them as a unit. Hobi saying Jk and Jimin always stay up late together, or Joon saying after watching Jimin and Jk run around/ get along so well he got inspired or Tae mentioning on more than one occasion that Jk and Jimin were spending time together late at night, or Hobi saying that he ate with Jikook who ordered food together. It’s not one thing and certainly not company content that gives people the impression that jikook are extremely close.

Even in chapter two where it was clear that those two probably didn’t see each other as much, anyone could still feel how much they love and missed each other, especially Jungkook with his Jimin centric Lives and constantly inviting Jimin to come over for chicken, boxing, lives etc. Those two are really good friends who are very important to each other and it is normal that sometimes, when life happens and people get busy, some distance creeps in. I feel like that is what happened with Jikook after 2022. They started doing different things, Jimin working on two albums at once, Jk not working on anything and was bored outta his mind up to the extent that at some point, my man was visiting almost all the meat restaurants in korea all alone lol and then he started hanging out with Tae alot after that and then later got busy again. That is life.

I'm not going to assume this is your intent but tangentially, I'm feeling real tired of "JK hung out with Tae cos Jimin wasn't available."

Tae is only valuable when someone else isn't available? That's dehumanising.

But I'm sure that's not what you're saying because you at least recognise Taekook are close and aren't total strangers who got invited seperately to the Dreamiere and just happened to bump into each other.

Jimin was recording an album, he wasn't in solitary confinement?! Tae and JK recorded albums last year too? They all found time to go to Jeju together when JK was undoubtedly busy with album stuff.

Oh I don't know. It's ok if Jikook didn't see each other cos they didn't want to and made time for other people during their schedules, man. TKKrs accept there are times when it looks like JK and Tae might have been beefing. That is also life.

[fitzrove]

Musical questions! 28, 29, 30?

[To celebrate 400 followers I'm finally answering all these from my drafts :D]

28. What's a musical that you saw ages ago that you're still not over? What about it made you love it so much?

If watching a video counts as "seeing": Tanz der Vampire. I saw posters and ads on the street for the Helsinki 2016 production... but that was after it was already over, in April/May!!!!! I was so curious about it but forgot after the initial wondering. Then that summer I went to a two-week language camp/course in the UK (my first time abroad without parents!) where we were singing Total Eclipse in the music room and an older "camp counsellor" girl from Germany told us it's actually from a musical, and that night I took it as my sign to look it up and ended up watching sooo many clips on YouTube over and over for the rest of my time at that course, and eventually the whole 2005 proshot with English subs.

Something about it spoke to me in a way no other musical had before - I mean, I had liked POTO for years, that summer I also started listening to Hamilton, but neither of those rattled in my head to the same obsessive degree as TdV did <3

It came into my life at a special time, has come and gone since, and whenever I get back to it, it still hits the hardest out of any show I've ever watched. Whether it be the epic orchestral rock score (I'm not like an über Steinman fan but I like his stuff), the level of emotion (some would say melodrama <3) and the way the show itself has come to symbolise a lot of things to me over the years (freedom to leave an environment you're not happy in and remaking your life elsewhere; freedom to be yourself and go after what you want even if it goes against what's conventional or societally acceptable; the world belonging "to the shameless and the wicked" and the rest of us just having to roll with it). So yeah >:)

I've now seen TdV live three times: once in Stuttgart in autumn 2021, and twice in Hamburg this summer (2024). It wasn't perfect but it meant a lot :') I've also met Aris Sas and he liked my headcanons and hot takes, and wished me the best in my life and my studies 😭🙏

29. What's a musical that you used to really like but don't anymore? What made you fall out of love with it?

I think I'm falling out of love with Wicked!! It was one of the first shows I saw live (back in Finland) and that production left a lasting impression on me, but after seeing it in London twice (heheh) I think I'm satiated :') I will still want to see the movie though! I probably just won't have the energy to engage that much with the hot takes it will probably spawn kslsls. Plus I hate the discourse that the movie is stirring up about how the book is better and that should've been a movie instead dkkdldls. I think the book is kind of terrible and takes itself too seriously. Plus the sex scenes are bad bad bad bad....

Anyway - still like the musical, I think I have just overlistened to it and I don't usually find too much to "chew on" in the fandom space :D Especially since I don't know/care about Wizard of Oz lore 😭

30. What's a musical that's grown on you since you first saw it or listened to it? What made you appreciate it more?

Rudolf: Affaire Mayerling.......... I still think it's terrible but I keep making friends with people who know that it's inaccurate (and don't really care about defending its honor skkskd) and still love it for being camp 😭 I used to have a very negative view of it but now I can just listen to Du bleibst bei mir on repeat, enjoy wholeheartedly and pretend it's the whole show 😌 obligatory mention that I met and took a pic with Wietske at the Les Mis München stagedoor this year 😭😭😭😭🙏🙏

[bittersbloom]

⠀⸺ ❝ LONG ROAD ❞

warnings – car accident, death, broken bones, blood mentioned; kinda suggestive but nothing happened. these are really the only things idk anything about broken bones & i’ve never been in a car accident so sorry. i did research as much as i could.

setting – april 03, 2016

word count – 1.1k

chaerin had exited the building as discreetly as possible. having spent the night at her boyfriend’s, she called iseul, her manager, to pick her up and to park not so close to the building. cheri had begun to regret this as she made the trek.

iseul had poked fun at cheri for spending a whole day with her boyfriend this early in their relationship. she was almost in shock that her friend was spending this much time with a guy.

“iseul, i didn’t know i was going to stay this long.” she hissed into her phone and adjusted her cap. cheri heard the cackle from outside the car. “seriously, you suck.” iseul opened the door and helped cheri inside.

““i remember you specifically said you’d never spend the night with someone you just started dating.” she rolled her eyes at her manager and peered out the window, smiling slightly.

“whatever. i just want to get home. i’m tired,” she closed her eyes for a moment, hearing the snickering from the woman beside her. “i cannot stand you, cho iseul.”

“rest, chaerin. i won’t bother you,” iseul patted her leg and went back to her phone. “for now.” chuckling to herself, cheri allowed herself to doze off for exactly 10 minutes before she felt the car swerve and the squeal of tires on asphalt. before she could open her eyes fully, she saw blood trickling from her head.

“is-iseul,” the girl cried. “iseul! ise-“ cheri’s red hand reached for the other woman’s. she noticed that she was hunched forward.

“hello!” she called. “someone help!” she tried to remove her seatbelt but could barely feel her arm or see the buckle. looking to her right, she saw a concrete barrier meaning the window had broken on her. to her left, she saw a navy SUV smoking from the hood. somehow, she made out the face of the driver.

“help me, please,” she begged to no one. it felt like ages before anyone showed up. iseul and the driver were removed from the car and, by the time they’d gotten to her, cheri felt the adrenaline running but wasn’t aware of anything happening around her. she answered their questions as best as she could, telling them her name, age, and god knows what else she told them.

she remembers closing her eyes in the ambulance for a second, which was apparently hours because she woke up in a hospital room severely parched.

making out the silhouette that sat beside her, she asked, “can i have some water?”

the blue-haired individual perked up and quickly poured water into a cup for her.

“here, careful.” he almost whispered as he held the cup to her mouth. “do you need anything? i- your mom’s here.”

“namjoon,” she finally recognized him. “i want to go home.” he frowned and sat the cup down.

“you can’t. not yet,” he stood and went into the hallway. “are you in any pain? the doctor, she said you’d probably be in pain when you woke up.” cheri shook her head. she didn’t feel anything at all.

“where are the other guys?” she asked. “and iseul and our driver? are they okay?” namjoon stared down at the floor.

“they’ll be here later. they didn’t want to overwhelm you.” he made his way to the door. “i think someone wants to talk to you.” the man quickly exited the room leaving chaerin in an anxious state. shortly after, another person entered.

“thank god,” her mother’s familiar voice flooded the room. “thank god.” her strong arms embraced cheri for several moments.

“mom, tell me what happened.” cheri spoke. “i know we were hit. after that?”

haesook let out a breath. “you have a fractured arm, broken knee, bruises, cuts, but you’re here.” cheri stared at the wall in front her. she was afraid to ask anymore after namjoon’s refusal to answer, but she had to know.

“iseul? our driver?” the look on her mother’s face said enough. cheri had known that the car had been hit on the left, iseul and the driver taking the majority of the impact. she remembered her manager being hunched over and unresponsive and the driver’s head resting against the air bag.

“i’m sorry, honey.” cheri turned her head and closed her eyes as she began to cry. “she was unresponsive when she was brought in and didn’t make it. he was dead on arrival.”

haesook held her daughter as she cried.

“it was him,” she choked. “i know it was. i know his car and i know his face.” haesook shushed chaerin to calm her. she had already known who it was. he had tried to send her flowers, tried to see her. she immediately had him removed from the vicinity. he had failed to cover the wounds on his face and was far too knowledgeable about the accident. it wasn’t the first time he’d tried to hurt her daughter.

the girl awoke the next day in more pain than she could fathom and a new person sitting beside her. her knee throbbed and her arm burned slightly. groaning, she reached out, knowing that whoever was there would hold her hand.

“hi, my blossom.” he placed a kiss to the back of her hand. “do you need anything?” baekhyun’s soft voice lingered.

“‘m hungry,” she replied. “kiss?” the older man leaned forward and kissed her gently. his lips hovered and he noticed her smile.

“i should’ve just stayed another night,” she joked. “now you get to take care of me. i’m no fun to take care of.” her non injured arm came up to his face, her hand caressing his cheek.

“i’ll be right back. i’ll get you something to eat.” he said opening the door. “i think someone wanted to speak with you.”

chaerin spent the next half hour talking to a police officer. they had arrested the man cheri had already known as bae youngjae and had charged him. they had determined he was traveling at 144 km/h with the intent to harm. he had followed them from the dorm. fortunately, cheri would never have to see him again.

when they were finished, her mother and doctor came to discuss treatment for her injuries. her knee was displaced and she was going to have surgery, but her arm would heal on its own and in a sling. she had a concussion, bruising on her ribs, and lacerations from her seatbelt. cheri was not going to be able to perform with the group and would have to sit out for many of the upcoming promotions. she had a long road to recovery.

“this is going to be so shitty,” she complained. jungkook laughed from behind her, pushing her wheelchair out to the car.

“we’ll take care of you. don’t worry.” jimin promised. hoseok took her bag and seokjin held onto her hand. she managed to hoist herself out of the seat and hobbled to the car door. once inside, she leaned her head on the nearest shoulder and sighed.

“can i finally go home?”

[taekooktimeline]

April 24, 2023

April 24, 2023 - Tae and Jk attend a personal event for the movie premier of “Dream,” featuring one of Tae’s good friends, Wooga member Park Seo-Joon (also featuring IU). It’s Jk’s first movie premier event and he had this moment with Tae. And it’s also good to note they went as individuals Taehyung and Jungkook, not as BTS members, nor did they attend in any type of work context.

There is SO much to unpack so I’ll start off with my opinion, especially because I’m so emotional and overwhelmed (in the best ways) by what this means. This was 1000% a statement. Nothing is a coincidence with Taekook. In my opinion, this event explicitly states the obviousness of their relationship, without implicitly saying it in words. Some of the below was mentioned on my IG / Tumblr already but I can’t stress how pivotal this event was, so I won’t apologize for being repetitive.

Let’s start with their clothes, covered in more extensive detail below. Their attire alone is a statement, very queer coded - Tae’s jacket brand, his shirt, Jk’s quotes on his jacket. They didn’t wear their brand ambassador clothing, when this would’ve been a good opportunity to do that. They knew this event would be significant and they planned their outfits with meticulous thought to help convey their message of intent. Them choosing to wear queer coded clothes at their first non-work related premier together is not a coincidence in any way. It’s quite a statement and noteworthy in itself.

And it wasn’t just their clothing choices that were meaningful. Their body language and expressions were significant too. 

They’re familiar with red carpets and big events in their line of work (Jungkook recently performed solo for the World Cup 2022), and yes, Jk is more of an introvert, but he still was extra shy during this premier. And that’s because this was a statement. Both knew this moment was special, and IMO, Jk’s shyness was a result of this knowledge.

They didn’t walk with any other Wooga member, nor did any other BTS member attend. They walked together, just the two of them, knowing what this would signify about them and their relationship. They knew it would be impactful, the next step to normalizing their relationship to the public. This was about them. This was them showing us who they are to each other, how special their bond is. Not only that, this event shows how safe and secure they feel in their relationship, to want to take such a monumental, public step like this.

I’ll go over it in more detail below, but I also find it to be so sweet and telling that these two make sure to be each other’s pillar of strength when the other needs it. Tae made sure to be Jk’s safe space, as he always has been and always will be. When Jk hesitated to walk to the photo wall, he took his wrist. The way Jk looked at Tae when he turned back to take his wrist? He lit up when Tae turned and that speaks VOLUMES, and it shows his trust to Tae. Then they stepped out to the photo wall TOGETHER, as a duo, not individually. 

They prioritize and choose each other and they always will. No matter what any “fan” says on SM. No matter what nonsense lies or fantasy some random person on the Internet spouts. Their relationship will continue as it is, and they’ll keep getting louder, because this is reality. And they’ve shown as much at this event. 

It’s massive and beautiful and significant what took place. For me, as of now this was their biggest moment - bigger than Harry Styles, Atomix, Paradise Hotel, etc. And I couldn’t be prouder. They’re so brave. It honestly leaves me in awe seeing such an incredible display of courage, knowing the media and all these eyes - in person and online - were watching. They’ll change the world. I feel so strongly about that. And I will always support them.

Getting into the premier itself! This is Jk’s first movie premier, and Tae’s fifth. The other four movie events Tae attended are as follows:

11/26/2016 “Derailed” (Minho)

08/07/2017 “Midnight Runners” (Park Seojoon)

07/30/2019 “The Divine Fury” (Park Seojoon and Choi Wooshik)

06 /02/2022 “Broker” (Kang Dong Won)

https://twitter.com/doc_taetae/status/1650889516771852290?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

Again, because this is important to remember - this is Taekook’s first movie premier event together, on their own, in an unofficial, not work related setting. And this is the first time Tae has brought a +1 to a friend’s movie premier!

Jk kept smiling as they walked closer to the photo wall -

https://twitter.com/oknaisyode/status/1650498974338654208?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

His smile -> he’s practically glowing as he acknowledges this fan 🥹

https://twitter.com/imgoldencard/status/1651758747642130432?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

Walking closer to the photo wall - 

Tae looking so happy in these stills as he sees fans - (😭)

https://twitter.com/taeguide/status/1650473934872092672?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg https://twitter.com/dailyforjk/status/1650470591009370112?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

The sequence of these two photos 🥰

As they make their way closer to the crowd, Jk smiles - 

He then glances at Tae with a softer smile (his expression 😭) -

His smile widens again as he looks away -

https://twitter.com/evexece_kthjjk/status/1650575338580107267?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

I saw some have interpreted the next moment as the guards stopping Jk from walking to the wall with Tae. That’s not how I interpret this moment as the reason for Jk stopping. We see the guards stopping them both, but it looks like only Jk heard, and Tae initially didn’t hear.

View angle here - https://twitter.com/wintertaeta/status/1651226619556638721?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

One guard places a hand on Jk’s back for a moment -

And you can see another guard stopping them both from walking, before motioning for them to step forward -

The other guard briefly places his hand briefly on Jk’s back a second time (encouragement to head out to the photo wall) -

https://twitter.com/wintertaeta/status/1651226619556638721?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

The way I interpret this moment is - Jk was very adorably shy throughout this event. This was an important moment for them and they both knew that. Jk stops walking (because the guards instructed them both to). However, when Tae turned around, the indescribable emotions in Jk’s eyes as he looks at Tae is absolutely everything. I can’t stress enough how important, how special, how monumental this night was. “Their moment of truth.” And after this sweet exchanged look, the MC yells out, “BTS!” and they step out in front of fans, reporters - a crowd - together.

https://twitter.com/mariposa732/status/1650538846335954944?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

Tae was very much encouraging, Jk’s safe space, his source of strength. He turned and gave assurances, giving him a small nod -

before confidently holding Jk’s wrist for a moment, unbothered by the people and cameras surrounding them. And, in turn, Jk trusted him and that speaks volumes too.

Front view of Tae holding Jk’s wrist -

Note Jk’s sweet, soft smile and gaze after Tae held his wrist -

When Tae turns to walk to the wall and the waiting crowd, his face looks very determined. For me, his energy throughout the event radiated that he was very mindful and protective of Jk. “I’ll take care of everything.”

Jk has a small smile on his face before they walk out together. It’s hard to see in a still so it’s encouraged to view the clip below. As OP mentions in the tweet, it seems as if he’s simultaneously anxious but excited (we can only speculate based on demeanor). This is a personal opinion, which you’re welcome to disagree with, but honestly this moment read to me like, “We’re really doing this,” accompanied by all the excited nervousness and butterflies of such an important moment. And then, they stepped out as a duo.

https://twitter.com/evexece_kthjjk/status/1650861346777600000?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg I’m going to leave a lot of links since this moment in itself was incredibly special - https://twitter.com/kookvtwins/status/1650468584693301248?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg https://twitter.com/_onlytkv/status/1650468023952875523?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg https://twitter.com/_k91230v_/status/1650475125266059264?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg https://twitter.com/regalkv/status/1650519708079362053?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg https://twitter.com/prashan57668544/status/1650672175966482432?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg https://twitter.com/regalkv/status/1650534829430280193?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg https://twitter.com/kazunessa/status/1650655293519585281?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg https://twitter.com/peachesminty/status/1651359920036671488?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

I found this so sweet. Tae turns back to check on Jk as they walk to the green wall - 

https://twitter.com/taekoomania/status/1663830729430814720?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg https://www.instagram.com/p/Cs5o1yHtPCg/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Another adorable angle of shy Jungkookie🥰 - 

On the red carpet, Tae looks at Jk out of his peripheral vision -

Tae then nudges a bashful Jk -

who looks back at him shyly, asks “What?” and smiles. His expression to Tae is so endearing!

https://twitter.com/thetkglobal/status/1650467506740682753?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

While Tae gazes fondly, Jk closes his eyes and smiles widely.

Jk proceeds to cover his face in shyness.

Tae’s endeared smile towards Jk’s reaction -

Tae does an adorable copy / paste. 

https://twitter.com/dailyforjk/status/1650466844484968448?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

They proceed to pose for photos. 

https://twitter.com/briller__613/status/1650462451627065345?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

And they acknowledge people in the crowd - 

More posing and waves - 

Long clips (adding many in case one ever goes private or deactivates) - https://twitter.com/v_of_me/status/1650470523317657600?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg https://twitter.com/vantaemaybe/status/1650461397636222977?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg https://twitter.com/myu_kookv/status/1650461248604045313?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg https://twitter.com/prashan57668544/status/1650688583630753792?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg Threads - https://twitter.com/diortetae/status/1650471960017788930?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg https://twitter.com/yoongellic/status/1650469143223885824?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

Another way Tae encouraged Jk was by passing him the mic and letting him speak first, when the MC asked him directly, “V-ssi, any word of support for actor Park Seo-Joon?” Taekook exchange a glance after her question. Their reaction when they make eye contact is so sweet, full of shyness and adoration.

Both smile when they turn away from the other -

https://twitter.com/dailyforjk/status/1650495457506779137?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg https://twitter.com/bxt321/status/1650527557966790658?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

Tae then hands the mic to Jk to answer the question first. What’s interesting here is when Jk cheers on Seo-Joon, he doesn’t call him Seo-Joon-nim or Seo-Joon-ssi. And he doesn’t just call him Seo-Joon either. He gives him a nickname, adding an -ie to the end of his name and saying, “Seo-Joon-ie hyung, fighting.” Honorifics are important in Korea (and other Asian cultures, like Japan) so for Jk to use a casual nickname at a premier event indicates closeness. We’ve seen many instances of Jk spending time with Tae and his Wooga friends (Wooshik only following the two of them on IG (when Jk had IG) Hobi’s party, bowling, skiing and the musical, for example). This is another instance that shows his close friendship with Wooga. 

Small recap of Jk with Wooga on TW- https://twitter.com/kakostel/status/1633220597969743874?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg https://twitter.com/kakostel/status/1633220703917883393?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

Tae’s fond expression towards Jk, covered in a few different angles -

https://twitter.com/sorte613/status/1650538970256932864?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg https://twitter.com/sorte613/status/1650468439541284864?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg YT recap - https://youtu.be/EU0EAaX3dmA

Taekook head back to the lounge area together.

You can see Tae glance back towards Jk in this last photo-

https://twitter.com/tcnckclnsmaek/status/1650513103832924160?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

Taekook exit the theater with Wooga -

https://twitter.com/chatshirelore/status/1650528431887773696?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

Stills of them exiting the theater -

Jk nods his head, smiles at OP and even briefly glances back -

https://twitter.com/taekoomania/status/1650553519508955136?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

Preserving these photos because they’re so beautiful -

https://twitter.com/sorte613/status/1650480135211208706?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

As they head to meet actor Kim Soohyun, Jungkook visibly takes a breath. As others have pointed out, we haven’t really ever seen Jungkook exhibit this type of nervous energy - before concerts, work related events, or when he performed solo for the World Cup 2022. This is another indicator of how nervous (but excited, happy and brave) these two were

https://twitter.com/vcutath/status/1657087078230896642?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg https://twitter.com/mytaekooook/status/1657262532162142209?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg Close up- https://twitter.com/peachesminty/status/1657270571649081344?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg https://twitter.com/taekoomania/status/1657289089408974848?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

Close up- 

Taekook also met Director Lee Byeongheon at the Dream VIP after party! (Remember, Tae mentioned he got drunk, as he briefly recounted in his live the next day- https://www.tumblr.com/emporium/716493153047363584/pg-hellsite-hecksite-patch-500 ) 

https://twitter.com/mybwits/status/1657250390004625408?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

Taekook made a lot of statements at this premier, and I especially want to draw detailed attention to their clothing, as this wasn’t a coincidence. They’re both brand ambassadors - Tae for Celine, and Jk for Calvin Klein, but they, instead, chose LGBTQIA+ coded outfits to wear to a movie premier they attended together, knowing what the connotations of this would mean. 

Jungkook’s jacket (designer Enfants Riches Deprimes) is incredibly queer coded.

The front right pocket is covered in Biblical scripture. “For all sinned, and come short of the glory of God ~All we like sheep have gone astray ~Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”

Detailed thread written by a good friend - https://twitter.com/heaven_borahae/status/1650493166938886144?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

According to another good friend, Jungkook’s Biblical scripture is about two men, Paul and Silas, that were jailed for their practices and for “causing a public nuisance” - one of the men being someone that many believe was gay.

More info here - https://twitter.com/koosyoyo/status/1650503243670208514?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg https://twitter.com/koosyoyo/status/1650500286052544513?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

Jk’s left sleeve is an excerpt from “Anonymous Diary of a New York Youth, Vol. 3” which was written by columnist Taylor Mead, who wrote the first gay newspaper in NYC called “Gay Power.” He was also friends with Andy Warhol, a celebrated, famous gay artist, known for the Pop Art Movement. Andy was impressed by his writing and film roles by the time they met, and Andy would end up filming Taylor in “Tarzan and Jane Regained…Sort Of” “Imitation of Christ” and “Taylor Mead’s Ass”. 

https://twitter.com/_gcfofvante/status/1650529119363559425?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

Tae’s jacket is by Juntae Kim, a brand famous for creating gender fluid clothing.

https://twitter.com/taeguide/status/1650526602445332484?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg https://twitter.com/taeguide/status/1650476212039430144?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

His shirt is a “rare find” on Etsy - an Oscar Wilde and Morrisey print.

More info on Tae’s shirt:

Oscar Wilde paved the way for gay rights. He was intimately involved with Alfred Douglas, convicted of sodomy and was imprisoned for two years for this. After his release, he spent his final three years in exile. At the time of his “offense,” homosexuality was a criminal offense and serious societal taboo in Britain. Oscar went back and forth between hiding and attempting to gain public acceptance.

You can read more here - https://twitter.com/heaven_borahae/status/1650484860753186816?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg 

And here https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/oscar-wilde-is-sent-to-prison-for-indecency 

Morrisey, the other component to Tae’s shirt, is pansexual, and coined the term “humasexual” to describe himself.

More info here - https://www.theatlantic.com/culture/archive/2013/10/morrissey-confirms-attraction-humans-probably-not-attracted-you/309767/

The reason I went into such depth and detail with their clothing is because their choice of attire for this premier is not a coincidence in any way. As a moot (TaeJkForever) beautifully wrote, their outfits allude to the stigmatization of homosexuality. They’re both very smart, and they knew exactly what they were doing by choosing these queer coded outfits for their first movie premier together. There was intent in that choice. They came to make a statement about their relationship, and they absolutely did, in so many different ways. 

Getting into the media coverage: as expected, Dispatch covered the duo. On their IG, they posted their photos first, before IU and Seo-Joon, who’s premier this movie was for. 

This was their IG story -

Their YT reel featured the hand holding emoji -

https://youtube.com/shorts/4Ye5wVNp4CA?feature=share

Remember - Dispatch used the same 👬emoji for Taekook in March 2018 -

Recap - https://www.tumblr.com/taekooktimeline2018/625075008238125056

A reporter’s observation -

Another article -

And another - 

The entertainment agency for “Dream” used Taekook’s signature 💜💚 in their coverage - 

Elle Singapore called them Taekook -

World music awards called them Taekook also -

As an aside, I love that Jk said “my mom made me pretty.” It’s obvious he enjoys calling himself pretty and being called pretty by others. This reporter complimenting him as such is really sweet. (Also note the worldwide trends that showed up on the news - their national debut!) -

https://twitter.com/tcnckclnsmaek/status/1651103138257174528?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg https://twitter.com/ilykv_/status/1651100156102860801?s=46&t=StSwHjW0_Domk_lHUFMaCg

[the-rewatch-rewind]

I love Poe Party too much to feel like any words will do it justice, but I keep trying.

Script below the break.

Hello and welcome back to the Rewatch Rewind! My name is Jane, and this is the podcast where I count down my top 40 most frequently rewatched movies of the last 20 years. And today I will be discussing number 13 on my list: Shipwrecked Comedy and American Black Market’s 2016 mystery comedy Edgar Allan Poe’s Murder Mystery Dinner Party, directed by William J Stribling, written by Sean Persaud and Sinéad Persaud, starring Sean Persaud, Sinéad Persaud, Mary Kate Wiles, Sarah Grace Hart, Joey Richter, Lauren Lopez, Ashley Clements, Tom de Trinis, Blake Silver, and a whole bunch of other incredibly talented and underrated actors.

Edgar Allan Poe (Sean Persaud) wishes to impress the beautiful Annabel Lee (Mary Kate Wiles), so he enlists the help of his ghost roommate Lenore (Sinéad Persaud) to throw a murder mystery party for Annabel and a group of famous authors. But then guests start actually being murdered.

So, first of all, I realize that this isn’t technically a movie; it’s an 11-episode webseries available to watch for free on YouTube, which you should absolutely pause this podcast to do if you haven’t seen it yet (link in the show notes). But there is a feature cut that’s about an hour and 45 minutes long, and that’s what I counted as a movie. If I’d kept track of the number of times I watched each episode, I’m sure that even my least-watched episode would easily beat number one on this list. But as for the feature cut, I watched it 12 times in 2017, three times in 2018, four times in 2019, twice in 2020, and three times in 2021. To a certain extent, every movie on the Rewatch Rewind has changed my life in some way, but this one has changed my life to a degree that I would never have believed possible. Every single day of the last seven plus years of my life would have looked different if not for Edgar Allan Poe’s Murder Mystery Dinner Party. All of the guests I have had on this podcast who are not my siblings, I met either directly or indirectly because of this show. So fasten your seatbelts: this episode is going to be a ride.

My journey to Edgar Allan Poe’s Murder Mystery Dinner Party, or Poe Party for short, or Edgar Allan Poe’s Murder Mystery Invite-Only Casual Dinner Party/Gala for Friends Potluck for long, began years before the project itself was even written. In the late 2000s-early 2010s, my sister was relatively plugged into the YouTube scene, at least compared to me, and she first introduced me to a group called Team Starkid around 2009-2010-ish. At the time, they were a bunch of college theater kids who had put together a Harry Potter parody musical and on a whim posted it to YouTube, where it went viral, so they started making and posting other musicals – which they are still doing. I feel like I might still have discovered Poe Party if I hadn’t been a Starkid fan, but that definitely helped. A more crucial step on my road to Poe Party started on April 9, 2012, when my sister posted a link to a new YouTube video on my Facebook wall, with the message, “Fictional vlogs by Lizzie Bennet. (actually Hank Green.) There’s only one so far, but I’m kind of crazily excited for this!” Hank Green, of course, along with his brother John, is basically one of the fathers of YouTube. I don’t think I’d seen a ton of their videos at that point, but I was familiar with and liked them. And of course, I knew Lizzie Bennet was the main character in Pride and Prejudice, a story that I loved very much – more on that in a future episode. So I was also very excited for this new show, called The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, but I could not have imagined the intense emotional journey it would take me on, through two short episodes a week (plus spinoffs) for almost a year. There had never been a TV show that I was more invested in than LBD. I was double majoring in college and working part time, but the main thing I cared about was these modern Pride and Prejudice characters. The show was clearly very low-budget, but I was blown away by the writing and acting. I was particularly impressed by the person playing Lizzie, Ashley Clements, and the person playing Lydia, Mary Kate Wiles. And, like, it wasn’t just me – LBD had a huge following for what it was. Not, like, millions of fans, but hundreds of thousands by the end. As the finale approached, the producers launched a Kickstarter to release the show on DVD and – ostensibly – pay significantly more to the cast and crew who had been incredibly underpaid. If you’re at all interested in hearing more about that, I highly recommend checking out The Look Back Diaries on Ashley Clements’s YouTube channel; she just did a whole deep dive into the show and its aftermath in honor of its 10th anniversary that I found fascinating. But anyway, coincidentally, right around that same time, Starkid also launched their first Kickstarter, since most of them had graduated from college and no longer had access to the same resources but wanted to keep making more musicals. So they were raising money for Twisted, a Wicked-style villain redemption retelling of Aladdin, which sounded interesting. I had never pledged to a Kickstarter before, but I backed both the LBD DVDs and Twisted on the same day: March 25, 2013, according to my emails.

After that, I kept following Starkid and some of the cast members of LBD, but not particularly closely. In early 2014, Mary Kate Wiles was in a webseries called Kissing in the Rain that I think I watched part of at the time, and I thought it was fine, but I wasn’t particularly into it (imagine, me, an aromantic, not particularly into a show about kissing!) and there was a lot of other stuff going on in my life so I honestly can’t remember if I saw all of it when it was first coming out. I definitely couldn’t have told you that it was on a channel called Shipwrecked, or even the name of the actor she was kissing. But in May of 2014, a new Kickstarter launched for a series called Muzzled the Musical, which was going to feature several cast members from LBD as well as Joey Richter from Team Starkid (Lauren Lopez also ended up being in it but I don’t think that was known during the Kickstarter). And I thought, whoa, cool, worlds colliding, and backed it. And promptly all but forgot about it.

A lot of strange, confusing, and rather upsetting things happened in 2015 that I don’t really want to get too deep into here, but I will say that in hindsight most of them had to do with a combination of amatonormativity and heteronormativity, and I started feeling pretty bad about myself. Before then I had managed to convince myself that I was too young to seriously fall in love anyway, but suddenly I was 25 years old and had never had any interest in dating anyone, and I felt like there was definitely something wrong with me. I didn’t exactly want to change, since I liked not dating, but I had always thought that that would just automatically change when I got older, and facing the fact that it wasn’t changing meant facing the fact that I didn’t know what the point of my life was. I liked my job but I didn’t want it to be my sole purpose. I loved movies, but that didn’t feel like it mattered. All my life I had taken in the message that finding a spouse and creating a family was what made the struggle of life worth it, and I felt lazy for not even trying to pursue that. I remember hearing at some point in my late teens that if you didn’t find your significant other in college, you needed to look online, but I didn’t even know what I would be looking for. And I truly don’t know where this line of thinking would have ended up if it had gone on much longer uninterrupted – I may have discovered my identity a bit sooner, or I may have ended up hurting someone by trying to pursue a relationship I ultimately didn’t want, or I may have just continued to spiral – but what actually happened was I got an email in late October that that random fantasy musical series I had backed on Kickstarter a year and a half earlier was being released on YouTube.

So I watched Muzzled, and it was very fun and silly, but the main thing I got out of it was, man I miss the Lizzie Bennet Diaries. So I finally opened that DVD set I’d gotten from the Kickstarter, and I binge-watched the whole show (I didn’t count it as a movie because there’s no feature cut, and also it is very long). And then I re-watched the whole thing with the DVD-exclusive commentary. And then I thought, I wonder what this cast has been up to lately, so I started searching for them on YouTube. And that’s when I learned that Mary Kate Wiles had been posting two videos per week on her channel for years, and I had been missing it. As I got caught up on her videos, I learned that I had just missed a Kickstarter for a musical she was going to be in called Spies are Forever, made by the Tin Can Brothers, which were a group of people who were also involved with Starkid, and that she seemed to be getting ready for a new Kickstarter with a group called Shipwrecked Comedy, the same people who had made that kissing show. They had also made a show called A Tell Tale Vlog about Edgar Allan Poe and the valley girl ghost Lenore who was haunting him, in which Poe had been played by Sean Persaud (the guy from Kissing in the Rain, who was apparently dating Mary Kate in real life) and his sister Sinéad (who was in the second half of Kissing in the Rain, which I definitely hadn’t watched before). Mary Kate had made a brief appearance in A Tell Tale Vlog as Annabel Lee, and this new show was going to be related to that, but bigger. I was so intrigued by this new project that I started supporting Mary Kate on Patreon to ensure that I didn’t miss any updates about it.

The Poe Party Kickstarter launched on February 2, 2016. By then, I had watched and enjoyed everything on Shipwrecked’s YouTube channel, but that Kickstarter video was my favorite thing they had made. I initially pledged the same amount that I had given to the Lizzie Bennet DVDs, thinking that would be my final pledge, but I ended up giving almost six times that much by the end of the campaign. Every $5,000 they raised, they revealed a new character and cast member with a poster, and each reveal made me more excited. Joey Richter was playing Ernest Hemingway?! Ashley Clements was playing Charlotte Brontë?! Lauren Lopez, who frequently played male characters, was playing George Eliot, a woman with a male pen name?! They got Jim O’Heir from Parks & Rec?! And then, as if the reveals weren’t enough, they had weekly 4-hour livestreams that I found incredibly entertaining. It had become clear that Shipwrecked Comedy now consisted of four people: Sean, Sinéad, Mary Kate, and Sarah Grace Hart, who had played Emily Dickinson in a stand-alone video and would be reprising that role in Poe Party. Various other cast members showed up in the streams with the Core Four, and I distinctly remember thinking, if these people are this entertaining to watch when they’re just hanging out, this show is going to be so amazing! In the second livestream of the campaign, they started writing people’s names on papers to stick on the wall if they pledged or raised their pledge during the streams, which was an excellent incentive, but I would have kept raising mine anyway, because I was desperate for this show to get made. Apart from a few weird troll messages, the stream chat was full of lovely conversations between people who seemed like my kindred spirits. I had never felt more at home in a community. And I had never been more excited than when the Kickstarter exceeded its goal.

And I’m telling you all of this because I need you to understand how astronomically high my hopes and expectations for Poe Party were. Some of the movies I’ve talked about so far ended up in my top 40 partly because I had fairly low expectations going into them and was pleasantly surprised, but that was absolutely not the case here. I had seen excellent work from several of the people involved before, and they seemed particularly dedicated to this project, and I knew they were going to make something incredible. I also desperately needed something in my life to go really well, and this seemed like it might be it, although I knew it wasn’t fair to put that kind of pressure on these independent filmmakers. I tried to temper my expectations, reminding myself that they had only raised a little over $72,000, and Kickstarter was going to take a chunk of that, and some of it had to go to perk fulfillment, so they weren’t going to have nearly enough to make anything super fancy. They released some prologue videos that were very fun but also very small, and I tried to tell myself that the actual show was also going to be small. And I kept reminding myself how long Muzzled had taken to come out, and that I was probably going to have to wait a while for Poe Party too, so I needed to chill. But then in late July – only four and a half months after the Kickstarter had ended – Shipwrecked released a trailer for Poe Party, which said it was starting in less than a month, and there was no tempering my expectations after that. The trailer looked fabulous. It was witty and clever and dramatic and intriguing, the music was perfection, and, shockingly, it looked like an actual studio movie. Not like a super high-budget one, but like they had at least a million dollars. Certainly way more than $60k. My already-ridiculously-high expectations soared to new heights. Part of me was sure I was setting myself up for disappointment, but I couldn’t help it.

And then it was August 22 and the first episode (Chapter 1: The Bells) dropped and it was so much better than I was hoping for. First of all, the look set the tone perfectly. The lighting was exquisite, and the location – incidentally the same house where Muzzled was filmed – was perfect. And then there was the writing. One thing the Persauds had mentioned during the Kickstarter was that they were inspired by the movie Clue, which will be featured in a future episode of this podcast, so I was expecting similar vibes to that, but I was not expecting there to be so many direct references to Clue. All of them made me extremely happy. It felt like the show was made specifically for me. It was like Clue, but even better. I already loved every single character and knew I would be sad to see some of them get murdered. It was also very clear from even just that first episode that this was going to fall into the “everybody was having way too much fun” category of film that I love. But while most movies like that tend to have pretty weak stories and just overall mediocre scripts, and the cast having fun makes up for that, Poe Party was different. The writing was fantastic, AND the acting was perfect, AND it looked gorgeous, AND everybody was having fun. Again, I tried not to have unrealistic expectations, I tried to tell myself that not every episode could be quite the banger that the first one was, but I was still incredibly excited for the rest of the show. And I was not at all disappointed. Somehow it just kept getting better. The running joke about everyone forgetting Emily Dickinson was there or who she was just kept getting funnier. Ditto the joke about George Eliot thinking she needed to convince everyone she was a man when everyone was clearly fine with her being a woman. I remember at one point, when around three or four chapters were out, Mary Kate tweeted that they were working on editing her favorite part of the show, and I thought, surely it doesn’t get better than what I’ve seen already. But it turned out she was talking about chapter 8, and yes, it absolutely was better. The constables, Jim and Jimmy – played by Jim O’Heir and Jimmy Wong – and everyone else trying to fool them, are so delightful to watch. Even though chapter 8 features probably the second saddest death in the series, it’s overall the funniest episode. This show touches an incredibly wide range of emotions and moods, especially considering it takes place in one house over one night.

I want to make it clear that I would still love Poe Party even if I’d stumbled upon it years after it came out, and even if I didn’t recognize any of the actors. The show is excellent enough to stand on its own. But being part of it from the Kickstarter, being familiar with some of the actors, and being online as it was coming out, certainly enhanced my enjoyment of it. Shipwrecked had a weekly “competition” of sorts where they would give a vague prompt and people would make fan art or write fan fiction and post it on social media (#PoePartyFTW), and each of the four members of Shipwrecked would pick their favorite to re-post. I wrote a fic after each of the episodes, and several of them got chosen by Shipwrecked, and I hadn’t felt that good about myself in years. I loved the show so much that I couldn’t confine it just into weekly fics; I was shouting about it on every social media platform. I also started weekly speculation Tumblr posts, using Clue references as my guide, many of which led me astray – I was convinced there must be a secret passage between the kitchen and the study that didn’t turn out to exist – but I did figure out part of the solution relatively early on. While the mystery aspect of Clue is ultimately nonsense if you think about it too hard, Poe Party actually tracks. And if you’ve listened this far and you still haven’t seen Poe Party, please go watch it now, because I’m going to start getting into story specifics and spoilers, and I think everybody should get to see it once without knowing what’s coming. (I’m also going to spoil some of Clue, so you could go watch that too if you want, although I don’t feel like Clue spoilers matter that much.)

In her episode of A Tell Tale Vlog, Annabel mentioned that she had started seeing a banker named Eddie, and then in the Poe Party Kickstarter video, she asked Edgar if she could bring Eddie as her plus one to his party. So Eddie (played by Ryan W. Garcia) shows up late to the party with Annabel, and then becomes the first murder victim. EXCEPT, spoiler alert: he’s actually NOT DEAD, and is, in fact, one of the murderers. And from the very first episode, I recognized Eddie’s similarities to Mr. Boddy in Clue, who is also not dead when you first think he is, and I was therefore suspicious of him from the get-go. But I was still very much open to any possibility (or so I thought) because the Persauds had done an excellent job of making everyone at least somewhat fishy. But there was one thing I was not prepared for, and that was the end of chapter 9. Because it absolutely never occurred to me that Poe’s beautiful Annabel Lee would die, and I’m honestly still kind of devastated about it, even understanding why it had to happen, and at the time I was almost inconsolable. Mary Kate Wiles had led me to this brilliant show, in which she played the kindest, most likable character, only to be brutally murdered? Some fans at the time had thought Annabel might be the killer, which I never did, and honestly I would have been kind of angry if she had been because we need to have more genuinely nice characters in things. I was upset that she died, but I would have been more so if she’d turned evil. (Not that I have anything against MK playing villains – I’m all for it, under the right circumstances. And thankfully the Persauds know when the right circumstances are.) And like, okay, I know I complain about too much romance in stories, but Annabel’s “It was always you” as she died in Edgar’s arms – that got me. Annabel had been planning to marry Eddie because he was more respectable than the unhinged poet she actually loved, and I think that that whole trying to fake the life you think you’re supposed to have thing spoke to me. I had been so tempted to try that, and this was almost as clear of a message as the constables’ “Don’t Do Murder”: Don’t Fake Romance.

At that point, I was pretty much convinced that Eddie must have had something to do with this; why would anyone else kill Annabel? Also, chapter 9 reveals that Annabel wrote the invite list, and I thought it made sense that Eddie, her boyfriend, could have told her whom to include, especially since it had already been established that most of the guests had some connection to Eddie. The prompt for that week’s Poe Party FTW competition was “Confession,” so I decided to try something different from the short stories I’d been submitting, and I re-wrote the poem “Annabel Lee” from Eddie’s perspective as if he was the murderer. And I know this episode is already longer than most of my solo episodes and I have a lot more to say, but I’m still proud of this poem (even though it’s not completely accurate, since it turned out that Eddie didn’t kill everybody), so I need to share it with you:

It was many and many a month ago,

           In her cottage by the sea,

That I first read the words that Edgar wrote

           For my girlfriend Annabel Lee;

And he said that she lived with no other thought

           Than to love and be loved by he.

“He’s just my friend and I’m just his friend,”

           She quickly explained to me;

But we loved with a love which was worse than love –

           I and my Annabel Lee –

With a love that was founded on secrets and lies,

           Fueled by jealousy.

And this was the reason that, later on,

           Faced with opportunity,

I took advantage of an offer made

           To innocent Annabel Lee;

For when Lenore asked whom to invite

           To that cad’s dinner party,

Annabel deferred to my input

           Which I gave most willingly.

All authors, not half so worthy as bankers,

           Who had e’er quarreled with me –

Yes! – they were the ones (no one would know;

           I’d met them all secretly)

That Edgar would invite to his house that night,

           At the behest of “his” Annabel Lee.

For our love it was weaker by far than the love

           Of vengeance I carried in me –

           Of justice toward those who’d wronged me –

And neither the psychics who bring back the dead,

           Nor the cops fresh from Academy,

Can hinder my murderous plan; no one can!

           No, not even my Annabel Lee.

As I watch them point fingers I find my gaze lingers

           On the beautiful Annabel Lee;

When they mention invites, she suspects, knows she’s right,

           Out the door runs my Annabel Lee;

Can’t let her get away: who knows what she might say?

So I kill her – I kill her – my eleventh kill today.

           Instead of revealing me,

           Her last breath says it was always he.

So yeah. I was deep into this. But then nobody in Shipwrecked chose it that week, and I thought, okay, maybe it wasn’t that good, or, maybe my theory is laughably far off the mark. Maybe Eddie’s too obvious. Maybe he really is dead. Then in chapter 10, Charlotte Brontë confessed, and revealed that her sister Anne had been there the whole time helping, and at that point I was pretty sure Eddie was also involved again. We clearly saw that Annabel’s killer was wearing pants, unlike either Brontë sister. And then it was Halloween and the finale finally arrived, and I was right about Eddie, but I was still completely unprepared for how awesome that final chapter would be. I think there was still a small part of me that didn’t believe it was possible for the end to live up to the buildup of the first ten incredible chapters. But it absolutely did. The finale was everything – everything, I say – that I wanted it to be and much more. The evil slow clap. The revolving villain trio of creepy neck touching. The flashbacks. The fights. The pet rock’s revenge. The literary references. And of course, the surprise reveal of Jane Austen, played by Laura Spencer, who had also played Jane Bennet in the Lizzie Bennet Diaries. The episodes were posted at 9 am on Mondays, when I was at work, so I couldn’t watch them right when they dropped, but after the first one I couldn’t wait until I got home either. My work’s wifi blocked YouTube, and I had an extremely limited data plan at the time, so on my lunch break I would walk to the McDonald’s down the street and watch the new episode using their wifi. And when the camera panned to Jane Austen, it was all I could do not to yell “OH MY GOSH IT’S LAURA SPENCER!” in that McDonald’s. I definitely audibly gasped, but I don’t think anyone noticed. The thing is, I would have still been blown away by the finale without that extra surprise. But that’s what Shipwrecked does. They make things that can appeal to a wide audience, and then they sprinkle in some extra treats for people who have been following them for a while. Of course, LBD was not a Shipwrecked project, but finding Shipwrecked through LBD is a fairly common path. And I’m still so impressed with how well they kept Laura as Jane Austen a secret. As a Kickstarter perk, I’d had a video chat with the Core Four that summer, and I’d mentioned that Jane Austen was my favorite author, and I was disappointed that she wasn’t going to be in Poe Party, and they were just like, “Yeah, we thought about including her, but we figured she would be too similar to Charlotte Brontë,” and betrayed not a SINGLE HINT that she was, in fact, in the show. Which is another thing Shipwrecked does: make a very specific, deliberate plan about what to reveal when, and stick to it.

As another example of that, the Poe Party Kickstarter had reached a stretch goal to produce an epilogue. I had completely forgotten about that, but other backers remembered and started asking about it after the finale. Shipwrecked was pretty cagey with their answers, but then directed us to a mysterious Twitter account that was dropping strange clues. I watched as the Shipwrecked fan Facebook group decoded them and ultimately unlocked the epilogue a day before it was released publicly. The epilogue is not included in the feature cut, and now I don’t really think of it as part of the show. Chapter 11 ends so perfectly – Poe stares at the floor as the heartbeat grows louder, a floorboard creaks, fade to black: chef’s kiss. But at the time I was feeling so many overwhelming feels about this show that I desperately needed that epilogue. I was so utterly relieved to see Annabel and HG thriving as ghosts. And I was so thrilled to be surrounded by such a great fandom, who all worked together and helped each other to solve the puzzles – it was a beautiful weekend. And it was also the last weekend before Donald Trump was elected president of the United States and I had to face the fact that the country was more broken and divided than I’d wanted to believe, which definitely adds to my nostalgia for that epilogue adventure.

The show may have ended, and the world may have been falling apart faster than usual, but I could not have gotten Poe Party out of my head even if I’d wanted to, which I didn’t. For over a decade I’d been searching for something that felt like a classic movie, but with some modern sensibilities, and these independent filmmakers had made exactly what I was looking for, zillions of times better than I’d imagined it. That clever, witty dialogue, perfectly delivered by quirky characters, almost felt like it came from a 1930s screwball comedy. But it also felt fresh and new and different from anything I’d seen before. It had so many similarities to Clue – in fact, I taught myself how to make gifs, or [other pronunciation] gifs, in order to highlight specific parallels between Poe Party and Clue – and yet remained unique. Where Clue was mostly just comedy, Poe Party was comedy, tragedy, romance, and intrigue, and absolutely nailed all of those. (Sadly no ravens, though, they didn’t have the budget for that.) Anyway, the series held up shockingly well upon rewatch, and I could not get enough of it. And despite the socially anxious part of my brain that remains convinced that everyone always is annoyed with me, that I have nothing worthwhile to say, that I should just shut up and stop bothering others with my existence – people seemed to like what I was posting about Poe Party. Other fans would engage me in conversation, and I started making internet friends for the first time. And, shockingly, the members of Shipwrecked seemed to genuinely appreciate what I was saying as well. After the finale had aired, Mary Kate reblogged my Annabel Lee poem on Tumblr and said, “I legitimately thought this was brilliant, and only didn’t choose it that week because of spoilers. Every single fic Jane wrote for this ftw has been wonderful, and I have so enjoyed them all, but this was above and beyond.” And maybe it sounds like I’m just boasting at this point, but the reason I’m sharing this is because a year earlier I had felt like a failure of a human who had no place in the world, and now this incredible actress/producer I greatly admired, who had just made my new favorite show, was saying that I had enhanced her experience of releasing it. People were liking and appreciating me, just for being myself and enthusiastically enjoying a movie. And I no longer felt like I was supposed to change who I was.

In early 2017, I got the rest of my Kickstarter perks, including behind-the-scenes goodies that featured not one but two fabulous commentaries. I love them both, but the second one is particularly chaotic in the best way. Ashley Clements and Ryan W Garcia, true to the villainous characters they played in the show, keep derailing the conversation and it’s incredibly amusing. The commentaries are over the feature cut, so many if not most of the views that I counted were with one of the commentaries. And I also bought the feature cut without commentary so I could show it to other people and still count it on my list. Now I tend to watch it episodically because I want the Shipwrecked YouTube channel to get more views for the algorithm, although I’m not sure that actually helps. But anyway, the feature cut and commentaries and other bonus features are still available to rent or buy on shipwrecked.vhx.tv, which I will also link in the show notes, if you’re interested.

Also in 2017, the first episode of Poe Party was shown at a festival near me, so I got to meet the Core Four members of Shipwrecked and some fans in person. That was very exciting, but I was also extremely nervous, although I didn’t need to be. The Shipwrecked people were so lovely and actually wanted to talk to me and the other fans who were there. And then I got to see Poe Party win some awards, which was awesome. And then a few months later, Shipwrecked launched another Kickstarter, and I pledged even more to it than I had to Poe Party even though the goal was lower, and then they kept making more stuff and I kept supporting it, and also continued to love everything they made (yes, even the Fart Feud with the Tin Can Brothers). I continued to support Mary Kate on Patreon, and I also started supporting other cast members on Patreon, like Whitney Avalon who had played Mary Shelley and does a lot of her own stuff on YouTube, and of course Ashley Clements, as I’ve mentioned previously, and as soon as Shipwrecked finally got their own Patreon, I was all in at the top tier. And, like, I don’t want to go on about this too much, because I do truly believe that I would love their work even if I’d never interacted with them, but I don’t know that I’d be quite the die-hard, take-all-my-money-to-make-more-things Shipwrecked fan that I am, if I hadn’t had so many wonderful interactions with the members of Shipwrecked over the years. I didn’t set out to become friends with them, but I kind of have – although I still feel a little weird and presumptuous to claim that. I feel like this will sound to some people like an out-of-control parasocial relationship, but like, it’s not that, because they do know me. Other people in my life have referred to Shipwrecked as “the people you pay to be your friends,” but it’s not that either: I give them money so they can keep making things, and we also happened to hit it off as friends – which again feels like a presumptuous label, but I can’t come up with a more accurate word. They make what they love and I love what they make, so it’s not that surprising that we’d get along. And for similar reasons, it’s not surprising that I’ve made so many very close friendships with other Shipwrecked fans. Our love for these projects brought us together, and then turned out to be far from the only thing we have in common.

I feel like I’m talking way too much about my own personal experiences, I’m so sorry if this is boring. Back to Poe Party itself. I’ve hinted at it already, but I need to emphasize again both how incredible the script is, and how amazingly the cast brought it to life. The story was so well thought out: every scene, every character, every moment was there for a reason. Like, I thought George Eliot disguising herself as a man was just a nod to female authors having to use male pen names, but then that turned into an important clue that led to the Brontës. Yes, you can poke plenty of holes in Poe Party if you want to – not all of the characters based on real people were actually alive at the same time, some of the technology is anachronistic, etc – but none of that stuff really matters. It’s clearly meant to be silly and fun, so you don’t really need to know what year it is. But the fact that they managed to write something silly and fun that didn’t completely devolve into absolute nonsense is so incredibly impressive. Sean and Sinéad wrote an absolutely brilliant script, and then they assembled the perfect cast for it. Every actor is on the exact same page about what this project is, and they each know exactly how their character fits in. Even when they’re in the background, everyone is giving 100%. I want to especially shout out Joey Richter, since Ernest Hemingway is drinking all night, and Joey did a tremendous job of tracking how drunk he was supposed to be. By the finale he’s having to slap himself to stay awake in the background, and it’s hilarious. Everyone else is also a delight to watch, and I feel like I’m still noticing little background moments I hadn’t clocked before. There aren’t very many close-ups, which I think was mainly because they didn’t have the budget for the time it would take to shoot them, but it works perfectly because a lot of the funny moments become even funnier when you can see multiple characters’ reactions at once. If you’re watching the background acting closely enough, you may notice a few instances of people almost breaking, but personally I just choose to interpret that as the characters finding it difficult to keep it together when other characters around them are being silly, and who can blame them? I appreciate that the writers and director trusted the cast enough to let them play around and improvise, because some great ad-libbed lines ended up in the final cut, and many more went into the best blooper reel ever, which is 24 minutes long and I love every second of it. There are some moments from the bloopers that I find myself saying sometimes when I’m watching the actual show – Ashley’s “Don’t be mean to me!” is probably the one I quote the most.

There is definitely romance in Poe Party – the whole reason for the party is because Edgar is in love with Annabel. Lenore and HG Wells develop feelings for each other over the course of the evening…until he dies. And several other characters flirt with each other. But none of the romances end well, and throughout the story, there is a lot of emphasis on friendship, and acquaintanceship, and other types of relationship. And that’s a running theme in most of Shipwrecked’s projects. There hasn’t been a kiss in any of them since Kissing in the Rain. Of course, much of the Poe Party fandom was, and is, into shipping characters with each other – for any listeners who may not be terminally online, shipping characters means that you want them to be in a romantic relationship with each other. I joined in somewhat, mostly because I felt like I was supposed to, but I couldn’t have articulated that at the time. And, as I mentioned earlier, I was particularly fascinated by the Eddie/Annabel dynamic, but I was only able to fully comprehend how much I needed the “don’t fake romance” message in hindsight. This show and its fandom made me feel less alone and adrift, but I still didn’t figure out I was aroace for a few more years. Although it was friends I made in the Shipwrecked fan community who first really helped me understand and accept that part of my identity, so I can still say that Poe Party was an important step on that journey.

I want to say so much more about this utterly brilliant show – I don’t feel like I’ve even come close to doing it justice here – but there truly are no words to adequately express my love for it. It still holds up nearly 7 years later, but Shipwrecked has come a long way since then. When their most recent webseries, Headless: A Sleepy Hollow Story, was about to come out, they said it made Poe Party look like it had been done by a bunch of kindergarteners, and I was upset at the Poe Party slander, but once I watched that series, I understood what they meant. Headless is so far above and beyond, but unfortunately it came out too recently to make it into my top 40. Currently they’re releasing an audio narrative called The Case of the Greater Gatsby, which should be on the same platform you’re listening to this on. That is a sequel to their short film The Case of the Gilded Lily, which I will be discussing in a future episode. I really hope that someday Shipwrecked gets the level of recognition they deserve – their fandom is still relatively small, although we are mighty and devoted. At the very least, I hope that the current strikes will help enable them to make a living from writing and acting.

Thank you for listening to me discuss another of my most frequently rewatched movies, or at least attempt to. Following this will be a two-way tie of movies I watched 25 times, both of which feature Cary Grant, my favorite leading man apart from Sean Persaud. As always, I will leave you with a quote from the next movie: “Hi! Mellow greetings, ukie-dukie!”

[frothingatthemaw]

okay i dont think itll fit in one ask but here we go (and by it haha well lets justr say the entire podcast)

MAG 1 anglerfish

the magnus institute is a research organization for the supernatural (oooOOoOoO). they take statements of people who have had Paranormal™ experiences !! jonathan sims believes most of them are fake.

our beloved head archivist jonathan "jon" sims was promoted (by the head of the institute) (elias bouchard) from researcher to !! head archivist !! of the magnus institute, london !!!! because the one before him (gertrude robinson) is missing (oooooo) (she died). the year is 2016 and he started at the institute in 2012 also i might give you specific episodes later just so you can hear peoples voices yk yk

but !! he has been assigned two (three (3)) assistants !! tim stoker, sasha james, and martin blackwood !! he Does Not like martin.

the archives are VERY disorganized !! the files are not all in their right boxes and the boxes have some strange labels like 86-91 G/H

most of the (thousands of) statements are handwritten or typed on a typewriter, with no digital/audio copy. "in fact, i believe the first computer to ever enter this room is the laptop i have brought in today". he is making audio recordings of statements. also. this is all recorded on a tape recorder. (attempts to record many of the statements on his laptop have been met with significant audio distortion) (but not all of them) (btw a lot of this is direct quotes. i am not currently listening to tma i just know it) (what autism does to a mf)

because the investigation and research isnt included in the files, tim, sasha, and martin have to do supplementary research. and he will Read them at the end of each statement. but since its super super disorganized the order of the statements is. not. like there just is no order its random

BUT !!!!! statement time

statement of nathan watts. regarding an encounter on old fishmarket close, edinburgh. statement given april 22, 2012.

statements are given in first person but im just gonna summarize

SO. this guy is at college (or uni as the brits say) (for biochem) (it was a few years before he gave the statement thats probably important to note) and he has a weird birthday + took a gap year so hes like 2 years older than his classmates which means he tends to hang out with older students

so hes at a party for his friend michael mccauley because he got accepted into an earth science masters and theyre down at a place drinking very disruptively so they have the place to themselves

so now hes drunk so he decides to walk (30 minutes) (very hilly) home (he did resist going home but he went anyways a bit later) but so hes walking home and he has a bit of a tumble stumble (on account of the hills) (steep) (he is drunk) so he has a cigarette to calm himself

suddenly (gasp) there is a Guy in an alleyway next to him and he asks "can i have a cigarette" and so our man nathan is a bit unnerved but he holds out a cigarette nonetheless but the alley guy doesnt move and keeps Swaying (hes swaying) and says it again

the guy had a Blank face and was lookin kinda sickly and was Swaying some more (from the waist)

so then the alley guy asks again and then statement giver nathan is like. woahg that guys mouth is not moving. so then he looks at Alley Figures feet and well gosh golly they are not on the ground

so he drops his cigarette and turns on his phone flashlight but then the Alley Figure disappears (folding in by the waist) (like they were tied to a string that suddenly got pulled tight)

so hes looking in the alleyway and he sees nothing. its just a boring old alley.

so he goes back to the Public where there are People due to it is Public and goes home the rest of the way in a taxi. and then he goes to bed mimimi

and then the next day after doing hangover stuff he goes to the Spot again to look at it while the Sun is out. but nothing happens. and there is an unsmoked cigarette (marlboro red)

he looks it up and theres nothing. he tells his friends and they go erm well you were drunk but hes never hallucinated while drunk but nobody believes him

and then a few days later a student disappears. john fellows. who was at the party longer than nathan and in the picture on his missing poster he has a pack of marlboro red cigarettes in his pocket (woahg)

nathan has not quit smoking. but he does take more taxis

STATEMENT ENDS

what a first episode !! crazy right so now the research

- no evidence to prove this. our beloved archivist was going to refile this statement in the discredited section that he made because hes a skeptic

- BUT. sasha (love her) found missing person reports from between 2005 and 2010 and there were six (6) people who went missing there in those years

- jessica mc something in 05

- sarah baldwin in 06

- daniel raulings(?) in december 06

- ashley dobbson? and meghan shorr in may and june 08

- john fellows in march 2010

they were all unsolved !! baldwin and shorr were smokers but we dont know about the rest

sasha also found the last picture taken by ashleys phone that was sent to her sister, captioned "check out this drunk creeper, LOL" (pls note he says el oh el like the letters personally offended him its really funny) except the picture is an empty alleyway (the same one described in the statement)

sasha increased contrast and it shows the outline of a very long hand at waist height of ur average guy. and the hand looks like its beckoning.

END EPISODE ONE

i love tma so much bro why can't my stupid brain let me do anything..... guys can't have anything around here smh smh /silly

i love you jon so bad.....

also. i did listen to this episode but my brain got a little confused with it (i cannot visualize things in my brain well) so this has made me understand this episode a hell of a lot better, thank you <3 this was so pleasant to read, it's laid out very well and very informative for the shorter formant <3 thank you beloved arson!!!!!!! doing god's work for me fr

i also want to note i have listened/read the first 5 episodes (6 being the next i haven't heard), but i would love to hear more even about the episodes i do know, because you telling me about them helps me a lot to understand all of it better :] no pressure though but feel 100% free to come back and do this anytime at all, i would genuinely love to hear more <333

thank you again, love hearing about this ^v^

[navi-llera]

Where are UNI.T. Members Now? (As Of Sept / Oct 2024)

{ UNI.T. was a 9 member Female Korean Pop group. The group officially debut May 18th 2018 and Disbanded October 12th the same year.

UNI.T. were formed through a survival show called, The Unit: Idol Rebooting Project. Where it would debut 1 female and 1 male group with pre-existing idols! }

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

1- Euijin

Euijin ranked 1st with a total of 108,066 votes. She was the Main Dancer, Lead Vocalist and the Center. On September 8th she was FREED from the abomination known as TS Entertainment, Leaving Sonamoo, And re-debuting under Mellow Entertainment, with the name Hezz.

She has 2 Instagram accounts ! @ _hongeuijin , I think is a more Personal account & @ hezz_offcl for her soloist career, In which she debut March 3rd 2022 with her single "The 8th Spring". And On Her Spotify, Hezz , She has 3 Singles. Alas, She has not released any new music since 2022. But She Made her Acting debut in the 2024 6-Episode Series, King of Saju ALSO KNOWN AS Four Lords: The Destiny Changer as Lee Ha Young.

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2 - Yebin

Yebin ranked 2nd with a total of 83,910 votes. She was the Main Vocalist. After UNI.T.'s disbandment, she went back to her original group DIA. Until in September of 2022 it was announced the group parted ways to do seperate activities (as far as I'm aware they haven't disbanded and are just doing different things).

She has 2 instagram accounts, yeah_b_film , A Photography based account (I think?) and yeb1n_100 a more personal account. On the 7th of July 2021, Yen debuted as a soloist with her single, Yes I Know.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

3 - NC.A

NC.A ranked 3rd with a total of 82,074 votes. She was the Main Vocalist. After UNI.T's Disbandment, she returned to her career as a soloist, Her latest release being in January 2024 with the song Universe. She has a instagram account, love_nca where she posts soloist stuff and other stuff!

NC.A has also acted in some K-Dramas such as, Itaewon Class, Reply 1994, Phantom School and She has appeared in much more.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

4 - Yoonjo

Yoonjo ranked 4th with a total of 78,519 votes. She was the Vocalist. She was a member of Hello Venus before Departing in 2014, Due to Pledis Entertainment and Fantagio Entertainment ending their merger, and Yoonjo chose to rejoin Pledis entertainment.

January 6th 2022, to was announced that Yoonjo signed an exclusive contract with Y-Bloom Entertainment. On November 10th, It was announced that Yoonjo would be getting married to Kim Dong-ho, The couple deciding to privately get married November 19th. Yoonjo shared her wedding pictures on her instagram _yoonjo !

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5 - Hyunjoo

Hyunjoo ranked 5th with a total of 72,090 votes. She was the Vocalist & Visual. Hyunjoo was a member of APRIL, but she left in October 2016, Due to health issues and Wanting to start an acting career!. Some K-Drama's she's starred in are: Summer Guys, Touch Me If You Can & My Father Is Strange.

Hyunjoo was apart of the April bullying Scandal, as on February 28th 2021, her ALLEGED brother came out to say that her former group members (APRIL) used to bully her when she was still apart of the group. (that is all I will be writing on that. if you want more you could find YouTube videos OR go to Lee Hyunjoo's Kpop Profile.)

She is on instagram ! hyun.joo_lee and her most recent post was in august!

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

6 - Jiwon

Jiwon ranked 6th with a total of 68,193 votes. She was the Lead Vocalist. Jiwon was apart of K-pop group, SPICA until they disbanded 6th February, 2017. After that, Jiwon went back into acting!, Her latest roles being, Unpredictable Family (2023), The Witches Game (2022) & Love Naggers Season 3 (2020). Jiwon also appeared in a Musical Play, That went from Aug 10th - Sep 7th!, Called Love in Buenos Aires.

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

7 - Woohee

Woohee ranked 7th with a total of 66,054 votes. She was the Leader, Main Rapper, Main Dancer and Lead Vocalist. She is a Member of DalShaBet, (A member, Serri, Stated in an interview that they had not disbanded, but the member did leave the company for seperate activities). On her Spotify, She has not released any music since 2022, with her collaboration with Kim Younggeun. And she has a instagram! woohee91.

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8 - ZN (now known as Jinye)

ZN ranked 8th with a total of 61,023 votes. She was the Lead Dancer and Vocalist. She is a current member of LABOUM ( which has not disbanded, they are on an indefinite hiatus, just looking for a new company! ). On her instagram, baejinyea , she seems to just post personal photos, And it looks like she was in a Theatre Production March 22nd - May 12!.

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9 - Suji

Suji ranked 9th with a total of 60,954 votes. She was the Lead Rapper, Lead Dancer, Vocalist and The Maknae. Suji was in the Kpop group The Ark until their disbandment in 2016. Then she joined the group Real Girls Project OR R.G.P. formed through The Idolm@ster Korea ! She has a personal instagram 1998_suji_ya. And she recently had her wedding anniversary (congrats !).

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THE GIRLS INSTAGRAM NAMES (bc I can't put links to them :( )

Euijin - @ hezz_offcl & @ _hongeuijin_

Yebin - @ yeah_b_film & @ yeb1n_100

N.CA - @ love_nca

Yoonjo - @ _yoonjo

Hyunjoo - @ hyun.joo_lee

Jiwon - @ wldnjs62

Woohee - @ woohee91

ZN - @ baejinyea

Suji - @ 1998_suji_ya

⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

INFO SORCES:

( IF ANY INFORMATION IS WRONG PLEASE LET ME KNOW SO I CAN CHANGE IT! )

[nialls-gorgeous-colors]

Shawn Mendes and Niall Horan Timeline

Year 2017

JAN 2017 NIALL’S PICTURE WITH ‘THE BOY’ IS HIS MOST LIKED IG PICTURE OF 2016

FEB 2017

Feb 5 Niall posts on SnapChat:

Feb 12 Fans see Niall and Shawn together at a Top Golf in LA. Niall posts a video of Shawn golfing. According to later interviews, they watched the Grammys together.

MAR 2017

Mar 2 An interview with Shawn in Japan that I can’t find an active link to:

Mar 5 Shawn talking to an interviewer at the iHeart Awards: Totally [working on new music]. Yeah, and we also just hang out a bunch. He’s a really cool guy, so he’s been really sweet, and once we get the actual time to get to the studio, we’ll make some stuff happen.

Mar 7 Niall mentions The Collab at the Rays of Sunshine Event.

Mar 10 Niall talks to Pop Buzz about The Collab: Shawn Mendes. Again, we’re good mates and if we ever get the chance to – you know, he’s on tour here now. I go to America this week. It’s kinda like, back and forth. We spend a couple of days tog –

Interview: Busy, busy lads. (Hey dude, why’d you interrupt that, I need to know what he was going to say about them spending time together!)

Niall: Busy men! And we’d obviously love to but – you know it was great. Shawn’s new song, Holding Me Back, he played it to me – he wrote it the day before the Grammy’s and he played it to me – he had a demo, he played it to me in the car. We were driving up to my house, we’re going to watch the Grammy’s at my house, and he played it to me in the car. And he’s like ‘man, I really like this song, I wrote this yesterday.’ And then he posted a picture on his Instagram last week of the cover of his new single. And I sent him a voice note of me singing the song – I’d remembered it, I just remembered it saying “Holding Me Back” on his phone. It’s that catchy. Great song.

April 29 Shawn gets asked about The Collab: “There’s nothing happening yet, but I’m really good friends with ‘Noral.’”

MAY 2017

May 1 Shawn talks about The Collab with fans: Hopefully soon… I’m really, really good friends with him, actually. Probably one of my closest friends within the music industry. But we just don’t have the time, he’s working a lot. So, one day we will.

May 5 Nick Grimshaw brings up The Collab: You’re good friends with Shawn Mendes, right? And you’re going to work with him? ‘Cause I saw that video of you and him singing in a dressing room somewhere.

Niall: Yeah, that was actually my sitting room, thanks!

Nick: Was it really?!

Niall: Yeah – ‘your sitting room looks like a dressing room.’ […] After the AMAs, the American Music Awards. Yeah, I’d love to, but it’s just finding time. He’s over here touring, I’m about to go back to the States. It’s all a bit mad. Hopefully at some stage, do something together. He’s a good lad, too.

May 9 Shawn mentions The Collab at another Q&A: I haven’t seen Niall in a few months. We haven’t gotten to the studio yet, but one day, we’re going to be something. I know I keep saying that, but it’s not like we’re in the studio everyday, he’s on the other side of the world.

May 22 Niall talks about The Collab with fans: Whenever we get the chance. We’ve jammed a few times, like when we’re at the house and stuff like that, but… Yeah, and I keep finding like, ‘Shawn Mendes’ picks all over my house. Like loads of ‘em, just ones with ‘Shawn Mendes’ – how many times has he been to the house? Looks like he just emptied his pockets when he came in.

1075theriver miscaptions the video: NiallOfficial talking about finding photos of ShawnMendes around his house. Niall corrects them:

JUNE 2017

June 2

Niall sees Shawn at the O2 Arena!

Christiaan Bezuidenhou

t posts a picture and we crop it:

Jun 9 Niall chats with an interviewer about seeing Shawn at the O2: I’m good mates with Shawn Mendes and he was playing the O2 the other night, and I went to watch him. I’m 23 and I’m standing there, he’s 18. And I felt like a proud older brother in a way. He’s 18 and selling out arenas. I was thinking, ‘[One Direction was] doing that as well.’ It was a bit of a head-bender and it was good to see.

With another interviewer: Do you ever come up with some songs and you think 'we should release these’?

Niall: Yeah there was one time when me and Shawn Mendes were in my house and we started jamming out, and we had a few beers and forgot.

Jun 10 Shawn about Niall at the Summer Time Ball: I’m definitely going to see Niall. I don’t know where he is but I’m going to go find him now.

Jun 19 Niall talks about Shawn coming over to his house: we had a couple of beers, and we were jamming a little bit, and I played a couple of songs to him, and he seemed to like them!

Jun 20 About Shawn: I love Shawnie. He’s the man. He keeps saying to me: ‘I’m so new to this!’

Interviewer: So what kind of advice do you offer him?

Niall: He gets really nervous a lot. He’s 18 years old! We all forget ‘cause he’s 6′5 and looks like Michael Phelps doesn’t mean that he’s not 18.

AUG 2017

Aug 5 A fan asks who Shawn’s favorite member of One Direction is: 'I love Niall.’ (I’m the girl in the background saying ‘Niall’ like DUH.)

Aug 8 Niall posts: 

It’s this fellas birthday ! Happy birthday shawnmendes .

Aug 20 Shawn confirms The Collab, once again, during Q&A

Aug 28 Niall posts to IG, 'watching the lad’ perform at the VMAs

SEP 7, 2017

Awww... 🥰 

Oct 5 Again with The Collab: Seen him last week in LA, but we were just going for a beer, we didn’t go and write songs.

Oct 19 Niall for Dan Wootton: The fans would love it. He’s in the middle of his album at the minute so if we can get something rustled up in the next while, we’ll see what happens. But we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Oct 20 Niall does a Q&A – mentions wanting to collab with Shawn, and his favorite songs: “Obviously, Mendes’s got some big tunes out at the minute.”

NOV 20 2017 THE AMERICAN MUSIC AWARDS!

The seating chart

They sat next to each other.

Stared lovingly into each other’s eyes. Shawn posted it to his IG, as one does:

Bonus: Zedd is us and we are Zedd

Dec 18 Fan asks Shawn a Need To Know question about Niall: If you were a girl, would you date Niall Horan? Oh, absolutely.

[isobelleposts]

Recalling My Childhood Through Patricia Evangelista’s “Some People Need Killing”

By Cassandra Isobelle [June 5, 2024]

[Cover of “Some People Need Killing” by Patricia Evangelista

I was only 9-years-old when Rodrigo Duterte was declared winner of the presidential election back in 2016. I was privileged enough to not witness the War on Drugs up-close and not have to worry about whether my father would be alive the next day or not.

But even so, my recollection of his Presidency was never good. During car rides with my family, I would hear my grandparents swear at the former President and talk about the latest news—the words “bastos” and “manyak” thrown about and engraved in my impression of him. All I knew was that my family did not like him. I saw how opinions would tear friendships and relatives apart, and it wasn’t until the pandemic hit that I began formulating my own thoughts and understanding what had led up to such ruthless comments on the internet.

[Sonya Gregorio, fifty-two, and Frank Anthony, twenty-five, moments before being shot by police officer Jonel Nuezca - December 20, 2020]

It was around the time this video went viral that I was awakened to what was happening in our country. I was told not to watch it because of its violence, and so I never did until recently when it was mentioned in this book. It made me realize how easy it is to scroll past an article or video on Facebook and continue your life wholly unaffected and unknowing of the story behind them, simply because it was not your life taken.

For the majority, life during Duterte’s term was normal. For reporters and journalists, on the other hand, it was a different case.

”I was furious instead at everyone who announced their indignation after ignoring a four-year parade of coffins.

Page 293 of “Some People Need Killing”

The numbers presented on the news of the Extrajudicial Killings were large, but not enough for the people to take action. It wasn’t enough that these cases were published through news articles day after day by people that stayed up just to tell the victims’ stories. It wasn’t enough until there were videos.

[Former President Rodrigo Duterte in Malabon, Metro Manila - April 27, 2016]

At some point in reading this book I started noticing how repetitive it can be. Case after case of killings; the same excuses, the same uniforms, the same stories but different characters. — This book is a reflection of Duterte’s leadership; an unending cycle.

”Kill, for example. It’s a word my president uses often. He said it at least 1,254 times in the first six months of his presidency, in a variety of contexts against his enemies.”

Page 6 of “Some People Need Killing”

Kill the drug addicts. Kill the activists. Kill the journalists. Kill them, period.

Patricia Evangelista’s efforts are present in the way this book captured so many details—the people she had to talk to, the stories she had to hear, and the bodies she had to witness just to complete this book. “Some People Need Killing” is a memoir, not just of the author's life but of the country’s.

[foxes-that-run]

I agree that in 2016 they both wanted different things and I have a feeling it didn't go well between them at the end. But there's always this vibe with them where it feels like Taylor has more power over Harry and she always has the last word but also she'd go back to him the moment he asks and Harry would do anything she wants. It was there vibe (to me) before Joe. And I think whatever happened in 2016 it was the opposite of this vibe, they both knew what they wanted, they were determined and didn't want to back away this time. Which is probably why they both were very petty towards each other the later half of that year

I also think Jake had a bigger impact on her life and overall personality than people think. How long you dated someone doesn't matter if the emotions are strong, which they were on Taylor's end. We'd never know what went down between them, but we know she's a hopeless romantic, emotional fool and had a thing for older men in her late teens/early twenties, and we all know Jake was a terrible boyfriend. That shit affects people when you're just 20/21 and you're supposed to have your shit together because you're technically an adult but you don't feel adult and then you're dating an actual adult who doesn't act like an adult. I can only imagine what she went through. Jake was her last confirmed public relationship before Harry (March/April 2012) so I'd agree with anon that Harry must have helped her get over it in some ways. Though I agree John was still probably there in the back of her mind, so it's mostly both of them that Harry helped her with. Whatever it was, seems like Harry helped her get over it and thank god for that

It was Jessica Simpsons book about JM that made me think a lot of what people put on JG is possibly misplaced, but make no mistake I’m no JG fan, Taylor described him as deplorable which I believe.

[bittermause]

End of Year Review 2023

It is currently Christmas Eve-Eve at the time of this writing, which can mean only one thing; The End of Year Review for 2023. These past three years held a lot of significant changes and growth for me, most of which I likely wouldn't have experienced had I remained in that horrible part of the mid-west. Despite the mass 'rona pandemic and the constant mental health battles/challenges, 2020-2022 were very good to me and I consider them the best years of my life.

2023 is a welcoming addition to that train.

The first major reason were the goals I set at the end of 2022, all of which were achieved without fail (to a point);

I continued making animated shorts, but only produced 2. However, this was a good glow up year for The Boris Blobinski Show! I got to manage a smaller production team, consisting of my talented friends, and together we banged out a beautifully animated episode!

I got my contact lenses! However I haven't really worn them since I left the optometrist's office. I still intend on using these for when I go swimming or to the spa, but I can see why some people aren't crazy about this option.

I finally got my hair dyed, and it wound up being a vibrant cherry red. Had it done back in March, and most of my hair is still pretty red despite the roots coming in.

Been losing a small chunk of weight still, which means I was able to convert to smaller shirt and pants sizes.

I did a lot more exploring this year! I finally secured my Californian rite of passage by visiting In-N-Out burger, discovered a couple awesome local bakeries, and went to the movies for the first time in years. First major achievement was going to Universal for the first time ever and visiting Nintendo Land! The second biggest crowning achievement was the daytrip to The Ventura Harbor in April, where I got to board a small wildlife sea cruise and witness dolphins, whales, sea lions and seals.

I got back to working on comics again, and produced two short stories for a larger collective that is still in production. Second major reason were the events that weren't planned out of the gate, but were absolutely welcomed;

I saved enough money to get a new desktop PC built. My friend from Colorado flew down and spent the week with me, partially to help get the PC built to proper standards and to also spend some quality time together in person.

I started freeway driving practice mid-year; taking smaller steps to feel more comfortable driving in the faster/wider lanes without having my PTSD invoked. I have a long way to go, but even driving within a 5 mile radius is still worth celebrating, especially since I've actively avoided freeway driving for most of my life.

My best friend is finally coming to visit me at the end of December! I have not seen them in person since 2016, and it will be their first time visiting my apartment space as well.

As far as plans for 2024 go, here's what I have on the docket;

I will be going to an actual jury duty selection at the end of January for the first time. (Exciting, I know!) I'm curious to see what the process is like, but I hope I can dismiss myself from the proceedings. (Respectfully, of course.)

I plan on hosting another friend visit me around the Spring/Summer.

I will be working on a very ambitious episode of The Boris Blobinski show that will take up most of the first quarter of my year.

I will continue my weight loss regimen as I have started back in 2021. As of this writing I am now down to 186 lbs. This is actually pretty close to my first goal, but I want to continue this trend until I hit between 135-140.

I still want to do more local travel and discover new venues. I'm eyeballing Downtown Ventura and will likely add a few more intended places to my list.

Attend activity based events like Life Drawing and other art related functions. As an artist, it's important I find different means to shake the rust off of my skills, and as a human I need to start making efforts in social connections again.

Continue freeway driving practice to the point where I can actually go beyond 5 miles comfortably.

Continue working on my one shot comics, see if I can at least produce two more stories before building a website/platform to host them all.

Outside of Boris Blobinski, I want to be more active in the animation space again and make a few more originals outside of that project.

Lastly, I want to look into Toon Boom Harmony official Certification. I've worked with the program for over 10 years, both for traditional hand-drawn animation and character rigging, and I would love to have that piece of recognition. Hell, I am not against the idea of applying as an instructor if I can get that far!

Of course I don't think I'll be able to jump into everything as intended. I know 2024 will also be met with some unexpected surprises, but I'll gladly welcome them all the same. And lastly, before we pull the plug on this, I want to thank everyone involved in my life that has made 2023 a fantastic experience. You know who you are.