#i wasnt worrying about it yet because i thought it would be ages away!!! i mean its good its getting done but im fucking stressed

[undistortedworld]

hospital just phoned me and the surgery i thought id be having MONTHS from now has been scheduled to next week im fucking bricking ittttt

[boyfiejay]

Next door hottie neighbour

PAIRING : nonidol! Sunghoon x gn Reader

GENRE : next door neighbour / hottie, bad boy x good girl (kind of)

Warning : reader is mentioned to be wearing a skirt, sunghoon can come off as too pushy but reader likes it (ig?), sunghoon has a bike🤩

Word Count : 0.8k

Author's note : this active era of sunghoon is making me feel very delusional and i really needed to let it out or i would simply combust, so here it is 😁 it isnt the new year for me yet so here is my last fic of this year. Happy new year to everyone! <3

Suddenly moving away from a place you've grown up at makes you feel very sad. A ton of memories left behind because your mom's boss thought transfering your mom from one branch of her company to the other would just be no hassle at all. Now, you and your dad can never survive without her and so the logical decision was to move away.

And unlike your parents, you were very excited for new things. It was not that they werent excited, but they were a lot more worried than they were excited.

The result of your mom's worries was that you would be going to give your neighbour an apple pie 'to get on their good side' as your mom claims. After her stumbling across the kitchen, getting mad at your dad for forgetting to buy certain stuff and making sure the pie looked absolutely perfect, you were on your way to deliver it to your new neighbour. (i mean youre new here but they're still new people to you..)

On the way to the house beside yours, you noticed a matte black bike standing in the doorway of said house. And one of the things you're obsessed to is pretty bikes (just anything pretty in general ) and you were definitely going to rant about this to your mom.

You knocked on the door, but what you were not expecting was for a half naked guy around your age to open the door. And he was so handsome.

Despite your face turning a concerning shade of red - because did you mention he had a such a toned torso? - you introduced yourself, "Hi. I just moved next door. My name is ___. Ni-" before you could even finish your sentence, your stupidly handsome neighbour cut you off with a teasing smile, "So you're the pretty girl from yestrday, huh?" he said, probably mentioning you moving your stuff. 

His eyes suddenly shifting lower noticing your ruffled skirt, okay maybe that wasnt a good idea but he wasn't looking at you in a creepy way so it was fine you thought.

Desperately trying to change the topic you said, "My mom made an apple pie and she wanted to share it with our new neighbours." You didn't mention his parents, incase he lived alone and you looked like an idiot. He muttered out a 'thank you' and took the pie from you. The whole atmosphere suddenly turning too awkward to bear.

In hopes of starting a conversation, you said, "Is that bike yours," he nodded, maybe you were also going to give him a lecture on how dangerous it is, "its so cool." Sunghoon was going to sound like such a loser but maybe it was because you are the first girl who had something good to say about his bike (his baby), or maybe the way your eyes twinkled when you looked at the bike and he knew you were being genuine with your compliment. Park Sunghoon wanted to kiss you so bad in that moment.

And he decide he was going to shoot his shot, and not care if he would appear desperate. You were too pretty to regret. 

Reluctantly looking away from your lips he said, "How rude of me. My name is Sunghoon. You're new in this area right? How about we hangout sometime? You know, so i can tell you who to avoid," he said taking a step closer to you, suddenly the distance between you two seeming too small for mere strangers, "and who you should be close to." he said, with that same teasing smile.

You felt like you were in a daze, his naked chest suddenly so close to your red face. You took a step back and realized a little too late that there was no ground beneath your feet. But just in time Sunghoon put his arms around your waist preventing you to fall flat on your ass.

"Careful there, we dont want you injured before the date, do we?" This guy and his smile were going to be the death of you.

"Huh? What... Date?" you asked, bewildered at what was unfolding.

"You heard me. Here-" he said, taking his hands off your waist (finally‼️) and handing you his phone, "put in your number."

Not knowing what to say, you wordlessly put in your number. Well what were you supposed to say? No?? To such a handsome guy?

You gave him back his phone and you saw him putting a little heart beside your name (this one ��︎).

"See you then." he said, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.

As you were walking back home and reached the gate of your house, you curiously looked to see if Sunghoon had went inside. But he was still there, half naked, leaning on the doorframe, holding the pie. With that damn smile.

Your face burning up again (it should be permanently red by now) as you almost ran to your front door.

Moving away wasn't such a hassle, especially if your neighbour was so hot.

Proceed to part 2 ?

[arsene-fixates]

Informant Really Does Care (About Family)

I got brain worms the other night so (arms stretched wide) hi everyone thanks for tuning in to yet another analysis of this guy

this one's a combination of a continuation to my older 'he cares about the townspeople' analysis and also a third parter to my analysis about his family

spoilers under the cut as always ^_^

Initially i had thought that Informant didn't truly like his family, with how dismissive he was when he first revealed himself to felix in the forest-- his words being 'i had to leave my friends, home, and family' with family being the last in the list (mild hinting at how he wasnt really a fan of them from the start)

or how when informant and felix first reunited, they had almost gotten into 2 arguments, first one due to felix almost resigning as the mayor and informant trying to convince him not to do so, which led to informant revealing that felix has never really listened to him when they were children and was always making decisions for him

the second argument being how felix wants informant to come back and throw away his life of being the informant and just live as his brother which leads to informant cutting himself off from the family

but in the scene where he decides to cut himself off from his family, he says this

but the thing is that even with how detached he acts towards felix, he genuinely does care still

like.. informant was going to sacrifice himself by becoming the wolf forever for the sake of felix, to put his worries at ease, and just before he was going to do it, he asked me to give him a locket which contained a picture of him and felix when they were young and he says this

'it reminded me of what truly matters'

or when he had to submit to the witch to figure out why he was acting so recklessly, (the thought parasite arc) the thing that calmed him down was a childhood memory and he has also kept keepsakes from their childhood. I Am Crazy

I feel like this strained behavior that he has around his family is connected to an inferiority complex he has, similarly to how he doesn't talk about himself much, he also tends to brush his own issues aside

note how he says it has a passing remark, lets it linger for a bit and then just moves on as if it isn't a big deal

"i still bring my loved ones so much trouble" and "i thought felix would be better off with me"

i think this was a product of the thing that felix had said to him just before informant disappeared

"I have no time. There's a pile of papers i have to deal with" and while felix did admit that the paperwork was more important to him than informant at the time, his disappearance was a burden on his shoulders <- his words

and reminder, informant was already a pretty solitary person (and frankly, quite lonely) before he became the werewolf, a person who had always kept to himself

i imagine felix saying this was also a blow to his self esteem. He never felt he fit in with the people around him, and now his own family is turning him away? it must be hard to have to warm up to family again after being apart for so long

he misses him, but he acts detached, arguing as if they were young and then cutting himself off from the family... Informant feels too kind for his own good if i could be honest, kind and independent to a fault.

i was absolutely fooled by him.. he truly does care...

ALSO i don't know if i mentioned this in the previous family analysis stuff but one thing i love about felix and informant is how they perceive each other's actions differently

Felix is protective of informant because he's his little brother, and by quite a large age gap too so its natural for him to feel like an instinct to worry and want the best for him but but informant perceives that as felix being controlling

and WHILE YES, THAT BEHAVIOUR ESSENTIALLY MAKES FELIX NOT QUITE CARE ABOUT HOW INFORMANT FEELS ABOUT THE DECISION MAKING, FELIX'S INTENTIONS ARE OVERALL GOOD BUT INFORMANT TAKES THAT AS NEGATIVE

and Informant wanting to take back that control of his life.. felix perceives that as informant rebelling and "not him" because informant had been obedient to him for so long and now that informant's doing his own thing felix feels apprehensive to it

blood is thicker than water but neither water or blood can account for separation from it's source. they've existed outside their roles as siblings for so long with different experiences that they're just different people at this point

[natriae]

chapter 2

masterlist

--------------------------------------

August 13, 2013 10:02pm

Before you knew it your front was pressed against the familiar beige walls of Wakatoshi's room. You could feel his strong chest pressing against your back and his hands roaming around your sides. Thick fingers pressing into the side of your stomach not letting you get out of his hold. His head was in the crook of your neck and his gentle kisses completely took your thoughts away from the hard feeling you felt on your butt.

Just moments ago you were celebrating Wakatoshi's 19th birthday with his mom, but now his mom was at the neighbors probably drinking to celebrate the fact that she was free to no longer mother Wakatoshi. It's not like she did anyway. But now her son was was turning his girlfriend of two year into nothing but a cock slut.

His kisses dropped lower and lower until he began unzipping your dress. He kissed every ounce of skin that was in his line of sight. Before you knew it Wakatoshi was on his knees taking off your dress fully. He bit your butt and then kisses it right after. Just like he did your whole relationship. Always making you feel like the second choice but then making you feel like a delicate flower whenever he had free time. His hands trailed back up your body as he rose back on his feet. His large hands turned you around and then pressed you back into the wall.

"take off you clothes too it's not fair," You said to him when he brought his face so close to yours your noses were touching. He picked you up and brought you over to his bed. He lifted his shirt over his head and as far as you could tell his face started to heat up. Unable to believe you guys have come this far your face began heating up as the strong man came back down to kiss you. His kisses felt like kissing a cloud. Everything about him was strong, rough, and calculated, yet his lips were only calculated. They would kiss you with the right amout of pressure and he'd never feed into the urge to kiss you senseless.

He separated from you a gazed into your eyes. Do you want to continue? Nodding your head he dropping his head back down and left you one last kiss. He started kissing down your body again hands going under you to unclip your bra. Once it was off he kissed both of your breasts.He put one in his mouth and looked up at you while sucking on your breast. I'm I doing this right? Leaning back you put one of your hands into his hair and began to massage his scalp. He continued sucking and now pinching your nipples. Feeding into his needs he kissed down your body once more. His thick fingers began working your panties down your body. Once they were off he threw them across the room. He must have been really needy. He never feed into the self pressure, but throwing your panties across the room showed that it was eating away at him. When it came to you he would feed into all his needs just to please you.

Gently he lifted your leg and started kissing at your foot then your calf then your knee, and your thigh. Sucking a little harder ag the thigh to leave a hickey. He then repeated those steps down your other leg till he got to you glistening pussy. He loved you. He loved your mind, your body, and your soul. He wanted to be connected with every part of you. He started to gently kitten lick at your pussy trying to copy what he had seen in porn. It felt great but you could tell he was hesitant with his moves. He lifted his head up and his eyes showed and emotion that he would only share with you. Ushijima Wakatoshi didn't know what he was doing and he was looking for someone else to help. For once in his life he wasnt confident in what he was doing. "How can i properly please you," he asked quietly. Worried that someone else would hear the big man failing at something. I want everything to be perfect because you deserve it.

Sitting up on the comfy bed your brought his much bigger hands to your clit. "Feel this," He nodding his head once. Your face heated up again at your next statement. "This is my clit," taking a deep breath before continuing, "it feels really good when you rub it liked this," you took his index finger and began rubbing small circles on the little bean. It was cute to see his face focusing so hard to please you. Once he got the hang of it you took your hand off his and began whimpering quietly. He seemed shocked by this and his hand slightly stuttered and he looked up at your face like a cute puppy. Am i doing good? Nodding your head you smiled lightly at the now man. He brought his right hand to your little hole and began to slowly put his middle finger into it. Every few seconds he would look up at you to make sure you were enjoying it. God he was to good at this. He asked if he could add another finger and then did so when you said yes. Your breathing started to pick up and your whimpers turned into slight moans.

But the it all stopped. Lifting your self up for the second time that night you looked between you legs to see Wakatoshi staring at his fingers. You leaned over to his night stand and turned on the lamp to see properly. He was still looking at his fingers and you could properly see the few streaks of blood over his index and middle finger. His eyebrows were scrunched together in worry.

"it's normal. I'm okay I promise," you said as you grabbed his face so he looked at you in the eyes. "I've never had sex before," you whispered to him.

"i haven't either," He responded to you. You grabbed his shirt that he had threw off and used to it wipe his fingers. He still looked cautious not sure if he should continue.

"come here," you grabbed his biceps to lead him where you wanted him to go. He came up and sat on his bed. His back was leaning on his headboard as he sat up. You tugged on his pants begging him to take them off. Ushijima wasn't one to tease but you could see that he enjoyed slowly taking off his athletic shorts and then taking off his boxers. He knows you wanted him to take the both off at once. Taking a deep breath you eyes zoned in on his cock. It was huge, and your not sure it would fit, but not wanting to give Wakatoshi the wrong impress you climbed onto his lap and brought your forehead to his. Looking into his eyes you slowly sunk down trying to fit it inside you. Tears started to build up in your eyes at the stretch.

It hurt how could anyone actually enjoy this. Taking a deep breath you tried to calm your heart rate to prevent you from crying more, but it burned a lot the more you tired to fit it in. A large, rough hand grabbed the side of your face and pulled you head up to look at your boyfriend in the eyes.

"relax and take it slow," please don't force yourself because it hurts me to see you in pain. He held your face so you could do nothing but look into his eyes. His eyes looked like boba pearls and if you looked hard enough there were little stars in his eyes. His eyes held so much, but he said so little. Wakatoshi wasn't that good with people so he'd often watch those from a far, and then try and get close to them once he felt confident enough in knowing their personality. He did that with you, and once he started getting closer to you he noticed that he could calm you down with just a look. You would get so lost in his eyes he'd stop talking because he knew you weren't listening.

Looking into Toshi's eyes made the whole world stop. You stop feeling the pain inbetween your legs and it started to feel better. It felt so god damn good you never wanted to take his cock out. Once your hips finally met his he wrapped his arms around your body and flipped you guys over so he was on top. He didn't start moving till he saw your tears stop. Slowly he moved his hips out and then brought them back in. Soon enough Wakatoshi was quietly groaning and eventually started to take deep breaths out of his mouth. You couldn't help but moan everytime your 'toshi slammed his dick back into you. Your legs began to shake around his back, and you knew you were done for the minute you looked at his abs tighten everytime he thrusted. How did you get so lucky. You can feel every vain and the difference in size where the mushroom tip met the long length of his cock. Tighting up around him you suddenly felt like you were gonna pee, but it was more then that. You were horny and you didn't care entirely all that mattered was that it felt good, and you didn't want him to stop. "ple-please waka don't- baby don't stop please," you whined moaning and taking deep breaths in between in your sentence.

"baby," he said quietly. So quietly you probably wouldn't have heard it if his head wasn't right next to your ear. "i'm gonna come. you're so tight," Not wanting him to leave you tightened your legs around his back and squeezed your pussy a little bit more. You were so close and you wouldn't let him get away now. He lifted himself up and placed both of his hands on either side of your head. His head was facing the upper wall behind you and his eyes were closed. He looked so good right now. Sweat was dripping down his body and the further you went down the hotter the sight.

A six pack and a perfect V-line. Dark olive colored hair started at his belly button and lead to an even bigger patch of hair that surround his fucking gift of a cock. God definitely has favorite, and Ushijima Wakatoshi is one of them. Harder grunts took you out of your thoughts and you look up to see 'toshi absolutely losing his composure. That was the last straw you felt everything burst and Wakatoshi felt a warm liquid hit his lower stomach. You've never moaned this loud when you masterbated alone, but something about him brought out a side of you, you didn't know existed. As you squirted Wakatoshi's dam broke too and he halted his thrust to try and force his dick into you as deep as you could. Cumming inside a pussy was much better then just cumming on his hand. Still trying to ride out your high you hold on Wakatoshi's shoulders tightened and your nails clawed at the perfect skin. You swear all you senses were heightened and you could feel his cum flow deeper and deeper into you.

Eventually Wakatoshi collapsed on you and he slowly took his cock out as much as you didn't want him too. He moved over next to you on his bed and ceresed your face. His breathing was heavy and he's never looked more out of breath. Turning over you leaned your head on his pec and brought you arm to rest on his chest. His arm on the side you were leaning on wrapped around you body and he held you as you fell asleep.

-------------------------------------

November 14th, 2013 6:30 am

You woke up after feeling something missing in the bed you were sleeping in. It smelled like Wakatoshi but you couldn't feel him. Groaning you wiggled around in the bed searching for the large body. The harsh sunlight was peaking through the blinds and you were left with no choics but to open your eyes to search for the ace.

"jima," you said yawning not soon after. "' jima where are you," finally getting up and sitting upright on the bed you hear the sink in his bathroom turn off. He was already dressed and ready for his run. The purple track suit hugged his body and he walked around the room looking for his fitbit. He threw your panties off his desk and directly at you. Did he even notice you were there? "'jima where are you going?"

He huffed and then he said, " to practice." short and to the point. Not surpising. " you should clean up and go home. Can you put my sheets in the washer too before you leave," He took a few big steps and was out the door before you knew it. No kiss goodbye. No please after he asked for a favor. He didn't even ask if you were okay. That's when his statement came back to you when you guys were talking about college outside last night.

"'jima don't you think that's a little far," you had asked.

"it"s for volleyball. They are a good school and they want me,"

"i know but you promised we'd go to college together,"

"yes, but Volleyball comes first then you."

Volleyball comes first then you. You spent all of highschool trying to get him to focus on you, but now that you think about it you were never his first choice. You can barely walk right now and he just left. Limping to the bathroom all you can feel is the pain in between your legs and you the dried cum that was actually extremely uncomfortable. How could he be so loving last night and then just leave.

That was the last time Ushijima saw you. You left him a note and nothing more. The next day you packed up your stuff and moved to Tokyo. You stayed in a Hotel for a while until you could find a proper place to live and a job. It wasn't long until the morning sickness hit and the emotional pain and stress over Ushijima. From what you know he hadn't even reached out to your parents. He didn't care.

-------------------------------------------------

tags: @mineta-phobic @rukia-uchiha-98

<prev | next>

thoughts? this probably one of the longest fic i've every written and my first smut. I hope i did a good job :))

[stitchwraith-stingers]

Saw you're family tree post and i love how fleshed how they are! Though i saw you say that that Angela had her own godparent, could you perhaps elaborate on that?

HIIII IM SO GLAD U ASKED... this is one of my fave hcs and im happy i could talk abt it

when she was younger, angela was not in a good headspace mentally, she was extremely depressed to put it lightly, she was also really anxious and when she was 10 she recieved cirrus swiftsky as a godparent, the best i could describe him was like a grandfather to her and looked sort-of fancy, he had a mustache and everything, this wasnt his first rodeo with a kid, hes been doing this for a good few fairy years

angela, altough she used escapism often by reading kids books, she wasnt very "imaginitive" as she describes herself, so her wishes werent anything extreme, and if anything just mostly talked to cirrus about things that were bothering to her, and he wasnt expecting to become a defacto therapist to this kid, he gave her life advice he vaugely remembered while studying to be a godparent (they take mandatory childrens psychology lessons) and gestured her over to try journaling for her thoughts

he often disguised himself as a orange butterfly when outdoors with her (to school, to the park etc), and at home would usually be their pet ferret, who was called tom by her parents

they lasted longer then the usual godparent-godkid duo, 2 years infact, however she was expected to leave him when she was 14 as she was still concidered not yet fully happy, she had accidently blurted it out when her brother walked in on her and she panicked, thus wiping their memories

godparents, if taken away before their kid has been properly reverted to being happy, arent allowed to visit them again, and godkids wont be given another one unless they are in desperate need of them, like if something else drastic happened, even if they are still miserable, this is a big countroversy in the godparenting industry (which i could go on about tbh)

angela, who used cirrus as an anchor, was EXTREMELY distraught, and if anything made her feel worse by the fact she couldnt remember why (codependancy problems, where have i heard that before!) and after afew weeks of refusing to leave her room she decided to go to the library as a way to slowly start getting back to it and she had picked up a psychology book, and thats where she started her psychology interest, along with vaugely remembering her doing jounraling, so she continued and it spiraled into how she is today

though she had picked up psychology books for older people, so she convinced herself she was more "mature" for her age, and even today she hasnt gotten the hang of how 10 year olds should actually work ("lets leave her untill shes ready to come to us" go talk to ur daughter?)

her parents - heather and felix campbell - werent horrible at all, just in the dark about what her kid was doing since she didnt like to share anything she liked with them at all, if anything they were slightly more "loose" if that makes sense, but because she was just anxious she worried that theyd get mad which they often didnt, if that makes sense

she never really had any friends in her life, as she decided she'd focus on that after shes done with her studies, she wasnt really a social outcast, if anything a little socially awkward, shes only had 1 friend during high school and her social life kicked off more in collage, everyone had respected her but she was more of a "i wont talk unless you talk" type of deal, on top of her grades because it gave her something to do in her free time (and she just enjoyed writing essays in general), and she had gotten much much better where she was now! only problem was that she was still anxious about presenting projects

when she was with postpartum depression after hazel was born she couldnt help but feel like she was missing a puzzle piece, yknow how it feels when you know youve forgotten something, but you dont know what? thats how she felt, thankfully she had gotten treatment quickly

hazel does get her more anxious side from her, angela is a good parent and has taught her children to communicate with eachother unlike how she did with hiding it, though she (unknowingly) struggles with properly understanding her 10 year old and being so focused on her work she cant sit down and 'think outside the box' as shes said

[did-system-did]

Long Thoughts

I feel like a ghost of who I used to be.

I thought the more effort I put into healing, processing, accepting, and integrating the less I would have to deal with the symptoms of DiD. The less I would have to worry about being different.

Somehow with age, its gotten harder. I thought it would be the opposite. I idealized a future where I could just be one, have a better memory, and retain information better. I wanted that future so badly. Maybe its still possible and I'm just prematurely discouraged, but it was so much easier B.D (before discovery).

Yeah, it was chaotic and embarrassing and all the things you can imagine from an unknowingly traumatized little girl. It was easier back then to just write off my behavior as being weird. I was just the weird, rambunctious, unpredictable little girl, pre-teen, teenager, young woman. And truthfully, I found comfort in the idea that everyone lived that way.

Leaving the emotional distress aspect out of it, I thought everyone had multiple voices and memory gaps and drastic identity changes and internal conflict with identity. So I just lived my life. I was more unstable, but I was significantly happier even through the manic/depressive episodes. It was easier to write it off as "this is just part of life!". My system worked for me.

Finding out that I'm separate from the internal family that raised me was terrifying, embarrassing, yet liberating. Terrifying because the voices I came to be familiar with weren't a norm like i thought, embarrassing because i realized the horrible, mean, weird, chaotic things i've done around people wasnt a dream but actually real life; and liberating because i spent years trying to understand the complex experience i was having and finally cracked the surface.

It was an intense discovery.

Months and a couple years later i was extremely motivated to get to the bottom of my disorder, come to terms with what happened to me, and grow as an individual. Being aware of switches was harder than being unaware, because the latter meant that those days or memories were processed as dreams or separate from reality so i have nothing to worry about. Now knowing that I'm being ripped out of my mind and body made me more erratic when it came to time and how i spent it. I wanted to prevent switches so i could live my life more.

Almost 4 years A.D, i feel... defeated. I have lived my life a certain way since childhood filled with switching, beautiful chaos, and recklessness. It was full of rambunctious people taking care of me, laughing with me, helping me with tests, saying jokes only we can hear, talking to me out loud while i wear headphones walking home from school, protecting me, and just making me feel like someone was there for me. Although it was a confusing time, i was happy. My system made me happy.

That's something i have never admit to anyone, not even my husband who is in full support and knowledge of my disorder. But growing up and until discovery, my system was one whom i, for the most part, could trust.

It's just harder now. When you're a kid theres more freedom for weird behavior, but at 24 years old i would be called crazy.

I'm not crazy, im traumatized. I'm severely torn apart and my brain led the otherwise impossible task of gluing me back together. I spent time in psych wards and crisis houses. I lived in my car and got fired from jobs. I struggle heavily because the way my brain formed itself to live isnt one that fits where i am anymore. And yet, I still need them to feel like myself.

Its painful to accept that because for so long I just wanted to be me. But I'm seeing now that its already been done. This is my brain. This isnt the type of disorder you can medicate away. My brain put itself together in this way to survive and the more i try to make my days quiet and free from my system, the sadder I've become.

This is my sign to take a different approach and be more accepting of the system who helped save my life.

It'll be hard, but i want to be happy.

[wizisbored]

ah, would you look at that... a comment that was not in any way influenced by me tellying my friend i was looking for an excuse to lore dump.

(cw - kidnapping, trafficking)

so, lydia in the new centaur railway au. i'm not sure yet where she grew up, but it was with her parents. emily got sick when she was 12-13. the family had to travel to see a particular human doctor they believed could help, and the only accomodation charles could find in town was a stable. lydia was scared and wanted to be with her mother, and though there wasn't room for charles to stay with her there was enough space for a foal, and charles thought she'd be more comfortable there than in a stable, and the stable owner wasnt particularly keen on having a child staying there anyway. so the night emily died, lydia was with her.

lydia was woken up before dawn by the doctor and told the mare she was sleeping beside is dead. and then, before she can even begin to process that, he tells her that he already told her dad and he's so broken-hearted that he can't look after her anymore. being young and distraught and in shock, she believes him. In the early hours of the morning another human man comes to pick her up, telling her he's going to find her a safe space to stay, and takes her to the train station.

when charles comes back later that morning, and after the initial shock of being told emily is gone, he of course asks where lydia is. the doctor acts innocent and worried. "I thought she was with you?! Oh dear lord, have you lost track of the poor little thing?"

lydia is travelling with the man for a few days, eventually getting off the train and riding out to more unconnected little towns. Or at least, he rides. Lydia plods along after his horse. Eventually, they find the maitlands, who currently im thinking are fellow centaurs. he feeds them the same lie lydia was told and asks them if they could possibly find it in their hearts to take the poor little girl in while he arranges something more official.

she's with them for a few years. they quickly get attatched to her. they play with her, they teach her, they save up to buy her a camera for her birthday. she's devestated by the loss of her parents, of course, but with them she's as happy as she could be. the man who brought her to them or an associate of his checks in every so often, mostly via post and occasionally in person, but most days he doesn't cross their minds once.

a little while after her sixteenth birthday (a generally accepted working age for taurs, but not a particularly pleasant one) the man returns. he says they've found a permenant home for lydia and she needs to come with him. the maitlands are devestated of course, practically beg him to let her stay, it's only two years until she turns 18 after all. but the man insists, and they have to pack her a bag and say goodbye.

lydia doesnt want to leave them, of course, but the maitlands try to put on a brave face for her and tell her its okay, and the man seems like someone you wouldn't want to cross, so she does what he says. on the way to the nearest town with a rail connection she considers running, but that would leave her out in the desert alone and she knows she wouldn't make it. she considers slipping away again at the station, but she's ushered onto the train before she can think any more about it.

she finds herself shut in a train car transporting a few horses, and is basically treated as one of them for the whole long journey. she doesn't see the man who brought her on board and nobody will answer her questions. eventually they get to the town thats the base of operations for the railway construction, shes shoed and her hair and tail are trimmed and potentially shes branded as property of the railway company because that might be significant later, and around this time when she's reflecting on how she came to be in this situation she realises that of course her dad didnt just suddenly not want her, she was kidnapped and then put on hold until she was old enough to be useful.

beetlejuice arrives a day or two after her, and before they so much as know each others names they're hitched to the cart and sent on their way down the tracks.

[bluebellswood]

MahoYaku main story 1 reread

Rambles for myself so I can look back on it. Will probably add as it goes.

i missed out a lot of things looking back and ?? now i read some parts and wonder if i am reading too much into things then i remember who wrote this and what happened in i7 so there’s never too much reading into it with tsm sensei’s works

its been close to 3 years since I last read it and ms2 is coming to an end so like hehe. Plus it hasn’t been voiced yet back then so I am listening to it now. ITS SO GOOD…

Ch1

“Both the world and I have been torn apart quite terribly”

I am now knowingly nodding when Murr said that. now I’m wondering. since it was a fragment of old Murr why wasn’t there a shard or smth of his soul during first meeting or was it simply part of the summoning magic.

Shino: They haven’t been wiped out. I know someone at the magic headquarters. If anything happened to him, I’d know right away. Eastern merchant: H-how? Shino: Wizards don’t make promises. Because if we break a promise, we lose our magic. But I was tricked by my irresponsible master and made a promise with a fellow apprentice. We promised that we would protect each other.

ch3. Shino... ueuueue like despite how he said, Im sure he would still went ahead and make that promise of keeping Heath save but in a one way direction only...

It kept me going knowing that Shino was worried about Heath despite trying to make it sounded lightly like he’s a spoiled young master, he’s probably crying rn but ur voice is betraying no one Shino

-----

Ever time Arthur appears it makes me wanna head pat him and go what a good kid and start crying or something

Drummond: Not all wizards are benevolent beings who help humans, anyway! Just look at Oz, who controlled the world under his rule of terror — he’s exactly the kind of wizard I’m talking about! Humans have long suffered under the thumb of wicked wizards! Arthur: ............

This part gets more funny bc despite how true that is to Oz, it’s the worst example that could be brought up to Arthur in this context bc Arthur thinks Oz is the nicest person ever. Anything bad about Oz is not real to him. He doesn't believe it despite everyone as early on tells him about terrible things Oz did.. it keeps getting me head in hands

-------

Here comes Cain talking about his eye and Owen. “a wizard with a terrible personality” Owen’s terrible personality is what makes him cute. shut up Cain. Aren't u the one who asked him out to dinner like. 2 years laterdfgj

ch 4

I just love how Shylock has his ways of words, it's probably comes with experience and age with how he knows how to appreciate everything and also bc hes a bartender adkfnds

Like how Bradley's section of the sage manual is "Warning: handle with caution" bc at the end of the day he's relatively a sensible person who had to learn how to survive in the north. but it also goes to see how the previous sage didnt try to understand the wizards on a deeper level. as funny as he was, he wasnt good at his job adjffhb. (1)

Also Owen's part "Talking with him makes you feel like you’re having a mental breakdown." wheeehehfh reading about him also gives me a mental breakdown so I cant say anything much there AhAHAHBHS

I totally missed out the "Oz taking over the world" part the first time round and only connected the dots sometime later.. actually I think it makes sense since no one know about Oz and Arthur's relationship yet at that point so the implication of it is not yet known

----

They put in a mana stone in the goblet and like afjsnaoj isnt that a dead wizard... and the fact the content in the goblet smells like blood... cryuing

ch 5

NEROOOOOOO NERO NERO <333 NERO APPEARED!!!

Riquet! God… looking back at how brainwashed he was growing up in a cult and how in 2nd anniv it was implied riquet was caged up and he thought that that was him serving the people is so fudging. They’re just using u Riquet…. :(

Listening to Chloe and Rustica duo is way more funny than just reading it. Rustica is so HAHAHAHA helpless, really <3 they’re just so funny I love them

When Figaro showed up. Made me 🥹🥹🦶🦶🦶🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🫶🫶🤬🤬🤬😠😠😠 he evoked so many emotions it’s unreal. But the Flores brothers 🥹 Mitile wants to defend his nii sama

Mitile: What about you, Dr. Figaro? Is there anything cool about you? Rutile: Hey. Don’t be rude, Mitile.

This part is so funny im gonna cry. Also Yknow how Rutile telling Figaro it's not a good hobby to keep secrets? Yet he doesn't mind if he keeps them, if that what makes him happy bc to Mitile and Rutile.. Figgy was the on who took care of them and so they care about him genuinely.. i need figgy to wake up and see it and accept it adkjfg SECOND ANNIV SCREWED ME UP WHEN SMTH ALONG THESE LINES GET BROUGHT UP. anyway. Lenno!!

Ch6 when Murr said

“Just as I can love the < Great Catastrophe > when it gently illuminates the night sky, but must push it back when it gets too close.”

He had a change of tone where there’s a hint of old murr towards the end when he talks about the moon…. I loved it so much bc no matter what, no matter how his soul shatters, it’s still Murr, the eccentric philosopher who loved the moon as if it’s his everything.

———

This part makes me wonder so much

Snow: Take a closer look. White: Our shadows are still stuck within the frame.

Our shadows? White still has shadows? Isnt he a ghost? Does it not count if he’s in the frame?

———

Bradley calling himself Bradley sama is so funny to me bc I can definitely see back then why I wasn’t that interested in him in the first place. If he had continued acting that way, he wouldn’t have shoot up so high my my favourites right now.

+ Akira saying their impression of Bradley initially the older brother with quick temper but guess they were wrong AKDNSKAK NOOOO Akiraaaaa cling onto ur judgement!!! He is!!! He’s just a little hot headed bc it’s only in the introduction phase!!!!

ch 7

Arthur: I’m thinking of setting aside a day of national celebration, and calling it "National Mixer Day". Akira: P-perhaps you should come up with a different name for a national holiday? Arthur: You think so? Akira: Y-Yes.

Help this part Arthur but hes a good kid really!! Anything he comes across, he takes notes of them and see how he could use it to improve the country and how he takes the sage words seriously... how he trust people so much... oz... how did u raise such a good kid.....

As for Akira.... Akira really rolling with everything the previous sage said, not correcting anything, trying to save his image CRYING the previous sage should thank Akira.

ch 8

Shylock: No worries. I'm quite familiar with lunatics.

ok. when shylock says it. its kinda nice. when murr says it. he sounds so akfdsjfbhj do u wan a slappnsd

Snow: We’ll introduce the remaining three. White: Bradley — absent. Snow: Owen — absent. White: Mithra — also absent. That’s all.

I love mhyk's sanbaka

also i love how practically everyone knows Figaro. Northern wizards? Self explanatory. Arthur? Figaro is like an uncle to him. Nero? He's from the North. Faust? Former mentee. Murr and Shylock? Please, the whole snow and white drama.

MMMMM I have a lot of things to say from onwards but I finished reading and wow damn I did forget many stuff

OZ BEING WORRIED WHEN HE REALSIES ARTHUR WAS A SAGE WIZARD TOO I CANNOTOTKFK he wanted to keep him safe ueueud

Bradley telling Mitile he might be able to get by in the North is so KUSA knowing he has a Northern wizard blood running through him and if he was trained properly he would definitely be strong af… (also with how later on Brad does mentor Mitile here and there occasionally)

shino and heath little argue and the fact that they didn’t actually recoiled but somehow just fell back to being friends again

BRADNERO FUDGING QUESTION WHERE WERE U ON THE NIGHT I GOT CAUGHT… he genuinely seems worried and if not a little hurt by the fact Nero was not there with him in the moment of distress. I am hurt. for Bradley, Nero was someone he considered his partner, someone who he could trust his hopes on. He was still daydreaming…. (FUGDE Y SECOND ANNI) Bradley being real serious with the way he said it’s not because of Nero he got caught so don’t worry. Nero can’t reply. Because he was indeed the reason Bradley got caught.

Fugding hell Old MurrShy is the thing ever. I love the knives they throw at each other which CUTS because they know each other too well. The Love and Hate Shylock has for Murr for over close to a thousand years. The ruthlessness of both.

Chloe asking Rustica not to take their friendship to the extreme like Murr and Shylock 😭😭

OH MY GOD THE PARALLEL OF WHEN FAUST INSTRUCTED EASTERN WIZARDS TO HOW LENNOX POINTED HOW HE REMEMBERS FAUST USED TO GIVE COMMANDS 😭😭😭 right when Faust bring them to the execution hill BRUH

Shino pointing at the hill and Faust talking about the execution hill like he Knows too well… FAUST… failed heroes becom criminals… FAUST…..

Shino back at it again saying he wants to make it big so he can brags about Heath to everyone, so he can proudly say this is my Lord and no one will look down on Heath and he can proudly say Heath is his friend and Heath can have confidence in himself and and to shino, HEATH IS A MAN WORTHY OF EVERYTHING AND HE WILL GRANT HIM THATSHDJNDMDMD

Faust wanting to leave and Figaro said there’s no one else more responsible than Faust and the way it went like “ Faust went: Snow and White. Figaro: Are you joking. Look at how me and Oz turned out “ I know figgy said futago sensei careless, they were his and Oz’s master but yeah. same thing. kusa

Faust blizzard injury being his dream and his desire.. while he was out to stake to be burn… Figaro being there too…. when in actual reality Figaro long ditched them…. he just wants his mentor was with him till the last moment eueududjjfjksksm HE STILLS WANTS HIS MENTOR TO BE WITH HIM

Figaro cursing Faust with plain words of things that are stating the obvious bad outcomes if Faust leaves so it will rings in Faust head if anything bad happens and the regret will curse him THAT THING IS SO GOOD DESPITE HOW TWISTED IT WAS because words hold so much power and Figaro.. even if he’s a coward… he knows how to speak when he wants…. Also cursing the knowledge Figaro might die soon. And not being able to tell anyone or do anything.

chloe actually crying in ch 17 :( i had no idea he cried cried uuuuuu I want to hug him and tell him he’s the nicest person ever, I want to be his friend!! Anyone who doesn’t is their lost!!

Oz’s small smile after he walked away helping Arthur… when he finally got a good look at Arthur’s face and thinks about how much Arthur has grown. And Arthur realising Oz has been avoiding him to protect his place in the castle and his reputation. I AM FOIJG TO CRY GOING TO CRY

Kizu Owen is the cutest thing ever his voice is so cute. I can hear a little bit of Leo in there ajxhjsk anyway he is the cutest. Owen’s Knights complex shines a lot with Kizu Owen. Him wanting to be saved by a knight. Him being trapped all alone in his childhood left with a half torn muddy picture book about Knight. The only thing that gave him hope. Maybe Kizu Owen is Owen’s personality before he became twisted. He does feels like a hopeful child way back…. I want to give him so many cakes

MITHRA THINKING BACK ABOUT TILETTA….. making a promise to Tiletta bc he wants to make her happy at least once before she passes away… and to him, Tiletta’s happiness is worth putting all his magic on the line.

Mithra does complain a lot about Tiletta. Oh this rude women oh wild women but But at the end of the day, she’s still the most important figure in his life, she’s still the one who raised him, taught him magic, taught how to live. He does respect and care about her. The only constant in his life and grounds him for the world. When Mitile told him he feels sorry that Mithra has not yet found anyone precious him his life… all I want to say is… my boy.. it’s your mother…..

the relationship between Tiletta and Mithra going from “this boy handsome, will make him my lover” to “he grown up to be pathetic, so I decided against it”

Arthur displaying his authority as the crown prince to Vincent GOD THE VOICE ACTING WAS GOOD!!!CHILLS ITS ALSO THE SAME WHEN HEATH DID IT TO NICHOLAS (shino: heh) so proud of both of them !!

Oz and futago sensei standing there like 🧍🖼️ at night bc they’re useless. Love them

NERO AND BRADLEY. They’re both so Uncle core u don’t understand 😭😭😭 they still very buddy buddy when it comes to these things it’s so funny. U could tell they used to spend a lot of time in each other’s company by how they act (when Nero slips)

Some wizards are already starting to catch on… no… even Mitile himself starting to caught on how Figaro only teaches him weak spells and the way his spell is hard to say….. I didn’t realise it was that early on…. Holy shit…..

The whole Mitile asking BradNero to save Rutile from Mithra only to be in the way of defeating the actual villain and them arguing and Nova standing there🧍

SANBAKA TOGETHER FINALLLYYYYYY. Bradley calling a Mithra an Idiot. Cant say much. Bradley is the smartest there.

Mithra dumping Nova in a magma reservoir. Closing it without hearing Nova’s grand exit and reveal. Everyone: …. Mithra: wanna eep (ISNT THAT WHY U REALISE UR PROMISE ALMOST TOO LATEKAJDJS)

All Northern wizard recognising Oz’s reverse lightning except Nero 😭😭😭😭

Nero trying to be poetic and Brad went u ass what the fudge u going on about is like the most buddy thing. It’s like seeing ur friend trying to be a romantic staring out the window trying to act as if they’re in an MV and u giving the what the fudge face

so maybe Layers to Shylock eating Murr’s shard instead of feeding it back to Murr. Because he despise Murr and does not want OG Murr to come back? Because he loves Murr that he wants part of Murr to always be with him? Because he wants to taste Murr??????? SHYLOCK????? The longing and yearning yet hating is insane with MurrShy

Re to what I said in (1) I think the previous sage does come to a realisation with what he wrote in the manual but at that point it became too late to get to know them on a deeper level. He still thinks Northern wizards are always difficult to deal with when they can be real simple at times if put in effort talking to them.

Nova no having that many lines is the funniest shit ever

The voice acting for Shino is so damn good I can’t wait to hear 2nd anni voice bc there’s a lot of desperation in the arc. When worried Shino called out the Kizu Heath like it pains him a lot. GOD. He is so worried and he’s doesn’t want to hurt Heath

important stuff I like getting reminded about

>Breaking a promise results in the wizards losing their magic. Because it means betraying your own heart, betraying the you who made that promise. Words hold lots of power after all (common theme which I really like. The importance and the impact of what you say to others)

>Promise is what moves the heart, the resolved in your heart and this your heart is what binds the promise. It’s shows that even if this world is uncertain at least there’s someone you can trust no matter what. An anchor.

>Mana stones hold the respective wizard’s magic powers. Magical technology uses it to fuel

>Murr was the one who founded Magical science technology which cause uproar in the West. Causes Shylock’s hometown to be contaminated and creatures go extinct. ( hunt down magical creature till extinction for the mana stones.?? I’m sure I read this somewhere)

>Owen gains power from human’s emotion. Fear. He can talk to beast what a Disney Princess he is <3333 bc he’s a huntsman bc ignore that

>Figaro feels he’s gonna die soon. Mitile is the prophecy child who will destroy all Southern wizards.

[black-rosewolf66]

Hello its one of my shitty life posts again dont mind it scroll past it^^

So the last time i posted one of my problems about being weird and too reactive during a play time…well i wanted to give it a try again and i put my worries away and asked for it…i never asked for anything…i just dont like to ask for anything because i grow up having it rejected anyway…but as i was asking it i knew from his respons that he will invite her too…i kinda minded it,i just knew she and i are going to have an argument at some point i knew from the way she looked at me the way she talked as if i wasnt there in our first meeting too…but i didnt say a word i thought that maybe i can show her that she misundertood me…and i wanted her to acknowledge me…

As always im still mentally shit…but at least i try to be better…

So i arrive at the house they are there speaking and drinking…when we get a call there children is in danger so the father of the child rushes out never answering her questions about what is the problem whats happening the door closes and there we are the two passionate stubborn woman sitting near the table im on the floor she sits on the chair…i begin thinking well today is as fucked up as it can be i started to get nervous so i tried to make an advance so we can speak and maybe we can know eachother more…she than procieds to tell me in the most offensive way in a trembling angry voice that she isnt consenting to the play that would had happen tonight…i was a little bit shocked she was a careing mother you could see that she may have been upset and a little bit tipsy from the alcohol and the thing with hher children so i remain calm as usually…i look at her and i give her a smile that its okay i can understand that…then she tells me she never had clients who where like this mentally unstable and basically a child with no life experiences…and here i am she doesnt notice but im hurt and now angry…she just stepped on one of the things that i hate being said to me…that im a child a basically had no life up until this moment…like yeah sure you may not know my past but nobody has it easy trust me…you dont have the right to assume that im acting the way i act because its the usual children wants attention drama and things like that bullshit….i had to grow up early i basically wasnt a child i was never i couldnt be…and you say i just grow up because i turned legally 19 and you assume that every 19 year old is the same because they never faced the challenges is life…well fuck i may not had my school and yet..but i did pay my checks i cleaned my house i cooked i was the one worrying for my family for our financial status i was the one thinking from night to night how i can fix this shit family how i can make my father undestand that he has to have more oppinion because he isnt a doll to get dragged around he was like a bomb ready to be exploided i had to teach my mother that it isnt okay to use everyone as a punch bag for her stress she had to manage her anger she had to be stopped…i was the one calming my brother that everything will be fine if they stay stong and hope for the better future that they have to move if i cant fix it i was the on shouldering this huge mess and im the one getting out of the child age and into the huge life? Like yeah thanks i had to take jobs at a young age i had to make everything okay and i could never let anyone discover that we have this huge ass shit behind the courtains of the perfect family image that we created…yeah thank you fucking much for saying that my pain doesnt matter because that just how teenagers feels at this age…im so fucking gratefull….so after she told me that i cracked a laugh as always to surpress these nasty emotions..bad habit but it can and it did save my life several times…and told her i already know it she doesnt have to tell me i just dont have the manual to read from how can i change this..how can i change the things/the habits of growing up in a survival mode… and she tells me that yeah there is no manual because every person is different but as you grow up you have to change and it will be stupid to blame everything on my parents if i cant change it,because it will only be my laziness that i still couldnt change even though i was an adult and i cant blame my behaviour and my mindset on my parents my whole life… yeah here we can see the tipical answer we can predict…she doesnt know why im confused well its should be easy to change right? You just have to relax…you never know how?you just have to learn,its easy…from where? Well you are an adult so you should know?….khm i just wasted my time trying to explane my self to her and it went on and on i had a looot of mean sayings played in my head but i never sayed them…i was thinking why should i…she doesnt want to know it…she never asked it she just strayed up judged me…from the moment we met…

I will continue it on the next post…

[bcdwhcre]

“Ocean Breeze,” Levi x Reader

Pls this happened in my dream and I had to write it out.

Summary: after everything that’s happened when reclaiming wall Maria, the scouts finally get to leave and see the ocean. Levi can’t help the excitement when watching you be full of happiness at the sight of the sea🥺

Warnings: none ? End of s3 spoilers

.

.

.

Everything that has happened the last few days was a lot on the scouts. The amount of soldiers they’ve lost, the fact that even the Commander had died- it was a lot to carry but it didn’t stop the citizens from celebrating on reclaiming wall Maria and eventually opening it back up to the people.

Levi had noticed how miserable you’ve been during all of this, he’s tried his best to ease your mind and take the guilt you carried when you both would lay beside each other in bed.

He was worried, he’s never seen you this depressed or unhappy before but the overwhelming battles they constantly faced from the Titan shifters was nothing but stressful.

But as the scouts decided to head off on another expedition, traveling farther than they’ve done before. Their eyes had seen first hand- the ocean.

Everyone stopped, hesitating as they looked at the large body of water before Armin ran towards it, in absolute awe.

The plain look on your face as you got off your horse, taking off the boots you wore before stepping towards the shore, the sand soft and pleasant.

“Y/N.” Levi spoke, he wasnt too sure about the water yet but as everyone got in the water, excited- you couldn’t help but want to join in.

You ignored him calling after you, once your feet hit the shore, the cold wet sand squishing between your toes, it made you cringe at first until the waves as crashed onto the sand, hitting your feet and a loud squeal slipped from your lips from how cold it felt.

Levi had jumped off his horse, walking up behind you but stood far enough from the shore to not touch the water. This was the first time in a while he’s seen a smile come across your face, pure happiness as you went further in until the water was up just below your knees.

“Oh my god.” You mumbled under your breath, laughing at the feeling and you moved your head up to look at Levi, gesturing him to come.

He didn’t want to, he hated the idea of this and thought about the dangers that lied just beneath the water but seeing that grin on your face, it made his heart race and he quickly took off his boots and followed you.

The sudden cold water touching his skin made him almost flinch, groaning under his breath but you grabbed onto his hands and pulled him in further, seeing the unpleasant look on his face,

“C’mon, it’s not so bad you big baby.” You held onto his hands, keeping him still and he rolled his eyes.

“Yeah but we don’t know much about this... ocean.” He scoffed under his breath, his eyes meeting yours and the way your eyes lit up, it instantly melted his heart.

The nights he would constantly cuddle you as you cried, trying to make you feel better about everything that has happened. The fact you turned stone cold like him, not even smiling for over a year, it had made him feel like he couldn’t make you happy anymore.

But you stood there in front of him, excited like a child on Christmas morning over the ocean. You couldn’t contain all the happiness that flowed through your body as you playfully splashed at Levi, making him shoot you a deadly glare before softening up.

He had decided to let this slide for once, to let you enjoy this ounce of happiness and he had pushed his feelings to the side, still not fully trusting this but you were having fun, that’s all he cared about.

As you turned around, looking at the ocean and how far it goes beyond- he wrapped his arms around your shoulders and placed a few kisses on your cheek, a breath of relief leaving his lips.

“What do you think is out there?” You asked him, turning your head back and he shrugged his shoulders.

“I don’t know, probably a lot of things we have no idea about.” He mumbled, watching you turn around to face him.

He had given you a confused look as a evil smile appeared on your lips, tackling him down as the both of you landed in the water and a dramatic groan had left his lips, his hair now wet and falling over his eyes.

He glared up at you as you sat on top of his lap, soon replacing it with a smile and cupped your cheeks, leaning up to kiss your lips.

“You’re a pain in the ass.” He rolled his eyes, watching you get up and help him up, the both of your uniforms now soaked.

He took the opportunity to lift you up in his arms, running further into the water and the scream that slipped out of your mouth as the both of you tumbled down underneath the water, quickly swimming back up.

You splashed him again, not even caring how soaked you both were now as the rest of the scouts took that chance to go further in and swim around.

Your eyes landed on him, wrapping your arms around his neck and clinging onto him close as you looked up at the blue sky above you.

His heart flutter as he watched you, everything that had happened- it was well worth it to see you this happy. It almost made his heart explode because all he wanted was to see your smile and your face light up, all he wanted was to make you the happiest you’ve ever been.

This moment, right here, was worth everything. He had completely fallen in love with you all over again just by the happy smile that stayed on your lips, the sun shining down on your skin and made you look even more beautiful than you did before.

He couldn’t help but stare, watch you, study you. He wanted to keep you in this moment, he wanted to keep that smile on your face.

You felt his eyes burning into you, glancing down to meet his gaze and the way his cheeks had tinted slightly pinkish, it made you sit there in awe.

“Why are you staring?” You knew why, you just wanted to hear him say it out loud.

“Never seen you this happy in over a year. I’m trying to make sure I take everything in and remember it.” Levi sighed, his eyes almost tearing up and it made you completely weak.

You opened your mouth to say something but quickly closed it as a frown appeared on your lips, cupping both of his cheeks and staring at him, full of love.

“Dont cry.” You mumbled, making him shake his head and turn away.

“I’m not.” He sniffles, not wanting to admit that seeing you like this made him a bit emotional. It’s been a long time.

“I know the last few years has been hell but- as long as I have you, as long as you’re happy.. that’s all I care about.” He spoke again, turning his head towards you as one tear had managed to slip but you quickly swiped it away with your thumb.

“I love you more than anything, don’t forget that.” You placed a kiss on his forehead, soon leaning your head on his as you closed your eyes.

He took a deep breath, the way his heart felt full, the way he felt finally at peace. All the stress, all the guilt- it had lifted from both of your shoulders and down into the ocean like it never existed.

It had made him see things in a much better light, the way he was beyond grateful to have you and how he never wanted to lose you- how you meant more to him than his own life.

“Marry me.” He abruptly said, making your eyes shoot open and look at him with shock.

“What?”

“Marry me.” He repeated, this time with more confidence and you were in disbelief.

“I don’t ever want to lose you.. I don’t care about anything else, I just- I want to marry you.” He softly said, making your heart pound inside of your chest.

You didn’t know what to say, obviously you loved him more than anything. You can’t see a future without Levi but the both of you have never spoken about marriage or a future besides killing titans so him suddenly bringing it up had you a bit stunned.

But it also made you feel even more happy if that was even possible, the way his eyes were searching yours to see a hint of rejection or sadness- none of it was there, instead your emotions washed over you and made you tear up, making him think you weren’t happy until you nodded your head repeatedly.

“I do want to marry you.” You almost whispered, brushing his wet hair back from his face and he smashed his lips on yours.

The kiss had felt like fireworks, it felt like complete love and passion. It made your heart swell.

You tilted your head, moving your lips in sync with his and moved your arms to cling around his neck, almost forgetting about the fact other people were around you until you both pulled back.

Levi had stared down at you full of admiration, full of love and as he sat there in thought, about you, about your futures together- all he wanted to do was make you happy till the day you both die of old age.

.

.

.

Plssssss🥺🤧

• Main Masterlist •

• AOT Masterlist •

[heyitsyn]

MANAGER!SEIJOH AU

a/n: this is kind of an au like what if you were

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon:

- 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 i would like to request a seijoh!manager reader who’s a first year and is siblings with ushi and the team’s reaction to finding out that she was supposed to go to shiratorizawa with ushi and their reaction with her getting along with the shiratorizawa volleyball team and maybe the manager is a small cute soft little energetic ball of sunshine 🥺🥺 also hewwo, hope youre doing well! ☺️ -🎷🐛

- Ir seijoh manager series is so gooood. Can we get something where by some weird reason yn-chan is close to ushijima and tendou and the seijoh boys dont know about it and how they'd react to her being so affectionate w them ahahwindkdn

EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LOOK AT HOW FREAKING PRETTY TENDOU IS LIKE AKLFDJLASKFJDLSKFJDSFLKD

okayokayokay

so this is a what if thing

like what if ushijima was your older brother

SLKFDJADFLIJSDKLDF I CAN ALREADY IMAGINE OIKAWA SCREAMING

you didnt exactly have the best relationship with your mom

you remember when you were younger that she used to yell at your brother for using his left hand and you got angry a lot because you were fiercely protective of your brother

this caused her to yell at you too for being nosy and being involved in something you shouldnt be in

duh we know that ushi’s dad takashi actually supported him for this and protected him too and you were also a papa’s girl so you always ran to him

he understood you both better and while your mother worked, he was at home taking care of you two

then when they mentioned wanting to separate, you were very sad but somewhat relieved

mostly because you hated hearing your parents arguing and you felt bad for your brother as he constantly did whatever to get you out of the house

thats what brought on your love for volleyball

you werent exactly the best player but you were interested in it and often watched matches with him

but you also liked volleyball because your brother liked it

you liked whatever your brother liked

he adored you too and he was a boy who didnt talk much due to your mother but he was always a talker with you

especially when you couldnt sleep, he would sneak you out of your room and you both would run to the kitchen and eat ice cream

even with just a 2 year age difference, he looked as if he was older than you due to his massive height

‘just wait nii-chan! i will drink enough milk to reach your height!’

*insert lenny face*

AKLDJFSLDKFJDF I HATE MYSELF

CAN I PLEASE DIE

however

when they divorced, you thought your father would take both you and ushi

like the lady at the court even asked you where you wanted to go and not a breath of hesitation you chose your father

you weren’t very concerned because you knew your brother was going to choose your dad as you both were closer to him

so imagine your surprise when he said he didnt care and naturally, the mother would get the child

lowkey you felt hella betrayed and when your dad whisked you away overseas, there was this grudge you held against toshi

yall youre like 5

i would be hella mad too if my brother chose the person who yells at him all the time

in california, your father made sure you still remembered your brother and you tried to detach from the japanese lifestyle to your new one but you just couldnt

maybe around 6 years you were already fed up with the hot california heat and you wanted to go back to japan to see toshi again

you got over that grudge years ago but your mother refused to have any contact or anything to do with your father and so that included you too

she refused to let you both video chat and any type of connection

your dad obviously noticed your sad expressions and your obvious longing to go back to your brother again and so he arranged something

you shut the door gently before taking off your shoes by the doorway

the large house was often quiet except for the constant typing of a keyboard in your father’s study

‘tadaima’

you meekly mumbled but his sense of hearing never wavered so he heard your voice

‘oh? y/n?’

his voice echoed through the hallways and you heard his chair squeak as it was moved back so he could stand

your sock-cladded feet padded against the hard wood floor and you walked towards his study where indeed he was standing there

your father has definitely aged yet his job as a coach made him as fit as he was decades ago

as much as it disgusted you, you could tell what your friends meant when they said your dad was good-looking

they actually said your dad was hot but you refuse to acknowledge that

you and your friends are like 12 tf

you closed the door and sat down on the loveseat at the corner of the room as it was your designated spot

‘hey, papa’

you greeted with a smile and he gave you the same grin

‘i ordered f/f (favorite food) for dinner tonight so try and listen for the bell to ring, okay?’

you nodded

there was bit of small talk and you asked about his team while he asked about school and you both arranged to hang out over the weekend at some ice cream shop

the conversation dragged on until you heard the doorbell and you ran to the door to answer the delivery man

your dad put out the plates on the table and you excitedly dug in

‘also, you remember your grandmother? and her terrible back?’

oh god of course you did

they lived about 30 minutes away from your house in japan and she constantly worried your father bc the woman was approaching 90 and was still picking peppers!

with old coach ukai

‘what did she do now?’

your father chuckled at the exasperation in your voice

‘she misses you. says something about the family’s princess needing to go back to her country or something’

there was a smile in your face

your grandmother was your favorite and she always said you were the princess

she hated your mother because of how insensitive she was so she only acknowledged you as the only other female in the family

obviously your brother was also liked but there was just a special bond between you and your grandmother

‘so when are we going back?’

you asked and it was clear that you were excited at the thought of going back to japan as you havent been back since you moved due to your father’s busy job and your school

takashi swallowed his food before revealing the news

‘actually, if you want, you could finish your schooling there. but only until college first though because your old man needs you over here too’

nah bro you didnt even care about the last part

literally your fork fell to the table and you shrieked 

‘WHAT?! SERIOUSLY?!’

and thus brought you back to japan

you stayed with your grandmother on your dad’s side and you quickly got accustomed back to japan life

OH

your BROTHER!

okay

so waka-chan def heard you coming back

your mother was grumbling about it the other day and he was sure he heard your name in there

‘sdkfjkdslfjdkslfj y/n dkfjlsdkfjldkf’

LMAO THATS ME TRYING TO SAY THAT WAKA COULDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE SAID SINCE SHE WAS MUMBLING SHE WASNT KEYBOARD SMASHING LMAO

there was a mutual giddiness in there too and he was excited to see you again after many years without contact

however

there was a bit of fear in there that thought back to when you were younger and his choice of not really having a specific parent despite your pleads to stay together with him

but he was going to make sure your bond was still intact!

he would do anything in his power to do so!

when you arrived

your dad accompanied you back to japan and you both were walking out to the exit of the airport when you saw your grandmother excitedly waving a sign around

in bold sparkly letters, it said ‘USHIJIMA’

okay wait i love grandma usui 

you quickly ran over to her and she grasped you into her arms

‘nana’

you sobbed and she hugged you tightly

‘im so happy youre back home’

your father shook hands with the friend she brought to help drive you guys back home

old man ukai was basically the chauffeur but hes really good friends with your nana so it was okay

the entire ride you guys basically caught up with each other and you couldnt help but laugh whenever your dad would go on a rant about your grandma being too reckless and your nana defending herself

‘oh stop it, takashi. i was only given one life and if it’s over, it’s over. for now, ill live it how i see fit!’

your old family home was exactly as you remember it but you didnt expect the 6′2 boy in the living room

‘nii-chan’

you meekly whispered and he let out a soft smile before opening his big arms

you ran into them and he held you tightly

‘i missed you. so much’

he whispered and you nodded 

it was def such a nice thing to have your brother again

oooo your dad been knew that you would be sticking to waka like you did when you were itty bitty young

so when you practically begged waka to stay at your nana’s house the entire summer, he couldnt refuse you

duh your mom went to see you but you just quietly sat there and smiled at her

polite but distant

due to being around waka so much, you naturally went to his volleyball practices and their training camp

there

you met his friends and you guys quickly got acquainted especially with tendo bc he was just so fun

and he was your brother’s boyfriend best friend

the others were still kinda distant with you ahem ahem im looking at you shirabu

but they were mostly amazed at how powerful the genetics played in your appearances because wowza you were beautiful

lmao dont let waka hear them say that bc they would be benched all season in a single snap

during training camp, you usually sat at the sides or you would be their stand-in manager

goshiki absolutely LOVES you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOSHIKI MY SON MY BABY

him and you were the same age so there was an easier way of being friends and your energies just matched so well

he would run up to you whenever he got a play right and you would ruffle his hair affectionately

LADKSJFLDSKFS FLASHBACK TO TENDO!SISTER X GOSHIKI

‘y/n-chan!’

‘y/n-chan!’

‘y/n-chan!’

hell even ushi was getting annoyed at goshiki’s constant need for you

tendo would steal you away and he would be giggling to you about how adorable you were and you just giggled along bc wow this beautiful man is really talking to me right now

ALKSDJFLKSF CAN YOU TELL IM ALSO A TENDOODOO SIMP?

‘cmere, y/n-chan. i taught toshi this the other day and he was very impressed and wanted me to do it again. okay so it goes in a rhyme, ya ready?’

you nodded along and he shot you a close-eyed smile before starting to draw on the dirt with a stick

‘there once was a man with-’

lets just say

you were definitely your brother’s sister

sometimes though

you would try and go towards the calmer players to get away from the rowdiness from baby daddy tendo and baby goshiki

you would find them at the gym just doing drills and at the sight of you, they would turn red but continue playing

they didnt really mind seeing you there bc youve always been such a positive energy and cheered them on which gave them strength

‘NICE ONE OHIRA-SAN!’

‘WAHHH SO COOL YAMAYAMA-SAN!’

you were like a cute ball of serotonin >o<

‘wah, of course its expected for you guys to be the top in the prefecture. youre like,,,,, silent but deadly~!’

duh a compliment from a girl?

dead

shirabu’s bangs would get in the way of his vision sometimes yall i will never stop making fun of that ridiculously adorable haircut so you would use a clip and tuck it away for him

this big babie is so awkward that he turns red when you whisper in his ear that you were done

semisemi baby and you got along bc you guys had a similar taste in music and because you lived in california, he was fascinated that you were in the music capital of america

‘did you see celebrities down the street?’

he asked you excitedly one day during lunch

you stopped then smiled softly

‘semisemi-kun, i didnt live at that part of california’

nah to him, america is just filled with celebrities

OH DEAR BABY BOY KAWANISHI

taichi is a generally quiet guy

like you thought he was actually selectively mute when you first met him

but you gradually got him to talk and you would help him whenever he would want to practice

usually it was during the ungodly hours of the morning

you woke up and went to grab a drink from the common room but you noticed his large build exiting the door so you followed him into the gym

‘kawanishi-san?’

you called out and felt guilty when he jumped 

‘oh, hey’

he aknowledged

‘wha-’

you stopped to yawn causing your eyes to close making you miss the brief second of softness that flashed in his eyes

‘what are you doing?’

you tiredly asked

taichi dusted off his trackpants after kneeling down to rummage through his bag and you couldnt help but gawk at his height

‘im training early’

he answered

‘why? is it because you want to keep up with the others?’

you mumbled and he was surprised for a second but reverted back to his stoic expression

‘i have to make sure i am able to reach my seniors level for next year’

taichi turned away to grab a stray ball and you moved to go to the storage room for the ball cart

‘oi, what are you doing? go back to bed’

he said from the other side of the gym but you just looked back at him with a tired grin

‘meh, i want to spend time with you, senpai’

you reasoned

he shook his head before walking over to you then ruffled your hair

‘no wonder youre so tiny. you dont sleep enough and let your body grow’

yep that was the closest youve gotten to taichi joking with you

usually, hes training and when hes in the zone, nothing else has his attention but the ball

maybe thats why the others ahem goshiki has said that he was very scary

his game face was practically a mean face

basically you spent the entire training camp with them and then soon, you were going back to school

duh everyone hmm maybe not shirabu bc he most definitely read the school book of rules thought you would be going to shiratorizawa with them 

but you broke the news to them one afternoon and imagine the tears from both tendo and goshiki

‘WHHYYYY!!!!’

‘NOOO!!!!!’

‘why can’t you?’

semi asked and you were about to answer when shirabu beat you to it

‘the school doesnt allow late transfers’

oh right

the american school system was set in a different schedule than a japanese school system

it was considered the summer for them yet school already started a few months ago

since shiratorizawa was a very academically and physically prestigious school, they refused anyone who would potentially be late or behind their curriculum

‘so where ya headed to then, chibi?’

tendou pouted and you leaned against his arm

‘hmm some school named aoba johsai? i dont know its near my grannie’s so that’s all that mattered’

oh dear

USHIJIMA NO Y/N WILL NOT ASK TOORU TO GO TO SHIRATORIZAWA

they consider seijoh a rival bc theyve played against them practically in every prefecture tournament and they were worried for that infamous setter

‘ne, y/n-chan, promise us that you won’t be swept away by them! especially a guy named oikawa tooru!’

uhhh

well

tendou’s warning was kinda ignored bc you ended up being seijoh’s manager

hehe

surprise?

but they weren’t really really shocked tho bc they knew you liked volleyball so you would naturally be in the volleyball team

even as a manager

meanwhile in seijohhh

OooOOOoOoOooooo sEiJOOhHHHH~~~~~~

okay so you were actually registered under your father’s last name usui rather than the ushijima last name

therefore you werent exactly immediately known as HEY! USHIJIMA’S SISTER!

you still became the manager the way you did as mentioned in part 1 

and you still are their adorable baby manager

you were aware of their oikawa’s hatred for wakawaka so you try not to talk about him even though youre literally the closest person to him

was it traitorous? 

maybe

but you actually even help them when they practice

duh the boys are like eyebrow raise emoji 

‘wow youre really into volleyball, huh, manager-chan?’

matsukawa commented and you just smiled

‘hmm, my family likes it so ive picked up a thing or two’

LMAO

little do they know your brother is literally the best volleyball player around and is a member of the under 19 team and your father is a volleyball coach in america and would someday be someone iwaizumi hajime (19) would apprentice under

there was a lot of times you thought you would slip up like your home screen was of you and waka but youve been careful to cover it up

BUT

you cant always be sneaky

it was during the first day of the tournament and you were filling up their water bottles I SWEAR WHY IS MANAGER-CHAN ALWAYS FILLING UP WATER BOTTLES when you found a familiar bunch of boys at the end of the hallway just chatting

you havent seen tendou and the boys in so long so you placed the bottles down and rushed over there so quickly

‘TOMUTOMU!’

you shouted and the oddly-haired boy turned and he gasped before grabbing you into a large hug

this grabbed tendou’s attention and he cheered then hugged you too

your giggles and happy cheers were so infectous and they just absolutely missed you so much 

these tall boys were at a advantage so someone scooped you up and you were just affectionately being talked to and hugged and LKDSJFSLDFJ SO LUCKY SO LOVED

meanwhile

the plant babies were wondering where the heck you went to 

‘y/n-chan?! where is she?!’

oikawa panicked quickly while iwaizumi hit him to shut up

‘be quiet! you won’t find her if you’re too busy freaking out!’

‘ill find her’

matsukawa volunteered and they nodded, feeling at ease of him being capable to find you if you were in trouble

but when he returned empty-handed and with large eyes, they knew something was up

they ran behind mattsun to stop and copy his shocked expression at the sight in front of them

is that

you?

with

shi

ra

to

ri

za

wa

oh my god

‘y/n-chan!’

oikawa shouted, being the first to speak

you jumped and your own eyes widened

‘oh. oh no’

you mumbled

the others were so stunned and seijoh itself was so hard to make speechless but they were just shocked

period

‘what is happening’

iwaizumi mumbled

yea the others were just shocked period

‘hey guys’

you waved and you motioned them closer

‘uhh,,, well,,, um they are my friends’

you smiled uneasily and they could see that

‘aaand?’

oikawa signalled you to say everything bc he knew it wasnt the whole story

you sighed

‘ushi,,, jima is my brother’

you mumbled the last part

but they heard you

‘HAH?!’

you cringed and the shira boys were about to move to protect you but they saw you glare at them

‘what? what about it? hes my brother? and?’

you babbled

‘but,, why are you,, in seijoh? dont get me wrong! its just,, youd naturally go to shiratorizawa right?’

mattsun waved his hands around and asked the question thats bugging the team

‘i came to the country late’

‘THE COUNTRY?!’

well,,

turns out you havent exactly told them everything about you yet :/

even when youve cleared the air and introduced waka as your brother, seijoh still didnt say anything

they were stuck in this shocked and surprised moment even at the end of the day and when you went straight to the shiratorizawa team,

they watched with wide eyes as you laughed with goshiki and was jumping around with tendou

‘AH! TOMU! MY HAIR!’

‘TORI-SAN! SATORI-SAN! TAKE THAT!’

wow you were actually really beautiful when youre happy

‘i dont think ive seen her this happy with this much energy’

makki said and they nodded

it was true

you were usually calm and collected and was the perfect balance to this chaotic team

so seeing you so free and loose with them was so refreshing, even if it was with damn ushiwaka

you finally went back to the seijoh boys and they all sent glares to the violet team before sending you a smile

‘you ready to go, manager-chan?’

watari ruffled your hair before handing you your bag to start walking to the bus

‘yea. lets go home’

as you all walked, oikawa was already starting his tantrum

‘y/n-chan~! why aren’t you that happy around us? are we not enough for you?’

oikawa whined and pouted

but you just turned to smiled at him and stopped walking to pat his head

‘im not their manager, therefore im not pressured to act like anyone except as a friend and a spectator. but i try to be as professional as i can with you guys to make sure you dont appear bad to others. and you guys are perfectly chaotic enough, adding me into the mix will just about kill coach’

oikawa didnt seem satisfied though

‘but! thats not fair! they get to see you smile and i dont!’

iwaizumi growled at him to be quiet but you beat him to it

well

you smiled at tooru but your eyes shone maliciously

‘i knew you would act like this, oikawa-san. as punishment, i gave nii-chan your phone number. good luck avoiding him now’

oikawa screamed

a/n: AAWWWWW LETS NOT KILL COACH IRIHATA OKAY? HES LIKE OUR GRANPAPA AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE OIKAWA ALONE WAKAWAKA-KUN!

[twatshag]

♤crack drabbles with the haikyuu boys next to their crushes♤

Warnings: just the boys being a bunch of weirdos and embarrassing themselves in front of y/n

Genre: fluff, crack

Pairings: kuroo, miya Atsumu and Miya osamu

—----------------------------------------------—

Miya Atsumu

You came along with kita to help out with some things in the gym since your one of the members of the student council

Checking everything to make sure that everything was in order for you to give him the okay for the new practice idea kita had planned

You're a second year and a very good student so it was quite the surprise when you were invited to join the student council as only third years were accepted

You were classmates with the Miya twins and suna so you weren't really new to their antics yet alone the volleyball team as you were popular for your position at inarizaki high

Atsumu was so excited to hear that you're going to be coming over to the gym thinking about the many ways he could impress you to land a date with you

But to his dismay kabedoning you 3 meters away from the wall only for him to fall face flat when you ducked out of his caging arms wasn't really one of his plans to impress you

"Are you alright Miya-san?!" You called out eyes wide at how the boy in front of you laid face flat and mumbling how life is so cruel to him and maybe if he was a volleyball he would've been happier face and tip of his ears redder than a tomato

"L/n-san can ya come check if da storage room looks alrite?" Kita called out for you. you left the faux blonde still face flat on the floor still too embarrassed to get up

Glancing one last look at him wondering if he has iron deficiency to fall face flat while trying to talk to you

Osamu: quite ta skills ya got tere 'sumu

Suna: you did so well I have it all on video to take notes for the next girl I approach

Earning a loud groan from the faux blonde as he got up telling them to shut up.

Yeah they never shut up about it and atsumu gets so red whenever he sees you in the hall and you wave at him. He probably runs past you too. And kita would scold him for being rude and also for running in the hallway.

Safe to say, atsumu learned that kabedon is done 1 inch to the wall and maybe it's not that effective in real life. But hey maybe if you try it out it'll work?

Miya Osamu

He is a strong believer of food is the key to anyone's heart

You and osamu were table partners you both helped each other and got well acquainted over time

You both could say you were really good friends

Osamu has had the biggest crush on you for ages glaring at any guy you talked to and getting all in your business with the dumbest excuses

He thought it'd be great to make you something small like cupcakes and confess who doesn't love cupcakes right?

He read a few recipes and made different types of cupcakes and during lunch time he asked if youd like to have lunch with him

Of course you agreed very excited to have lunch with the Miya osamu

He sat down and gave you the box of cupcakes sadly out of the many flavours he's baked you chose the one you were allergic to

You ate it so fast not processing what flavour it was exactly and he was about to start confessing until you started choking

His soul left his body at that point you were coughing and gasping apologising for the way you handled his sweetly cupcakes until you were rushed to the nurses office

Of course it wasn't deadly for you but it sadly isn't the most comfortable experience for dessert that your body refused to have.

Till this day he is unable to look you in the eye embarrassed to ever talk to you about food again

Yes you reassured him it wasnt his fault

Yes you tried to talk to him

But hes just traumatised its okay girl just give him some time to try again

Atsumu: and ya call me an abusive pig you just made a girl choke on yer cupcakes!

Osamu: please for ta love of god shut up before a make ya

Aran: I believe your idea was cute osamu but that truly wasn't the way to confess you brought a whole other meaning to getting your face stuffed with food

Suna: ahaha word

Resulting in him banging his head against the gym grounds and wishing that he didn't mess up his chance at being your boyfriend. Don't worry though you'll fix that right? Its not like he tried to kill you........that requires a lot of strong will may you add.

Kuroo Testuro

Bless his soul he was just trying to be a good friend or maybe more

Being nekoma's volleyball manager sure was a challenge but you loved the boys so much!

Especially their captain oh boy was he hot but hey you were still new to finding out about your crush on him so you weren't very very flustered

His pick up lines did get you flustered though little do you know he gets flustered when you smile at him

Today he decided he wanted to ask you out but to his surprise you were talking to some guy and he was being very "touchy" with you in his opinion

He rolled his eyes and he didnt even read if you were comfortable or not because his ass was too jealous

Being the volleyball team captain he always wanted to make sure everyone was okay and safe

Kuroo walked over yanking the boy away from you and glaring at him

"KUROO-SAN WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO MY KOHAI?!"

Yeah he wanted the ground to crack and swallow him

Stuttering out shocked apologises with the biggest blush on his face

Yeah he couldn't face you for a while cringing everytime at the memory

Kenma: you know you could've just done it nonchalantly instead making a scene like that..

Kuroo: here's your psp, play

Kenma: but y-

Kuroo: I SAID PLAY

Yeah kuroo isn't a fan of mirrors anymore poor guy can't even face himself anymore bless his soul maybe you could kiss it better?

—----------------------------------------------—

A/N: IM SO FULL OF ENERGY I FEEL LIKE I CAN WRITE FOR HOURS WOOHOO hope ya enjoyed

-kira

[nestable]

BRING IT ON HOME NESSIAN ONESHOT

Bring it on Home to me by Sam Cooke is on of my favorite songs in the word and I highly recommend you go have a listen if you havent heard it, I promise you wont regret it. I was listening to it the other day and instantly thought of how these lyrics resonated with nessian, cassian more especially and couldn't resist writing this fic. Just a little soft, SFW, domestic Nessian. 🥺😭

"Nes." Cassian groaned as he rolled closer to her side of the bed. "Nesta?"

After being met with stark silence, Cassian outstretched his hand only for it to collapse onto cold sheets.

No Nesta, he realized with a start.

Though he and his Nesta have been mated for some months now, all of which have been without an incident, he can't help but worry.

Each night he reassures himself with the knowledge of their bond, the heat of her body pressed against his own, the words of love and loyalty she ensures he hears everyday, that she is safe and finally happy.

Not miserable and balancing on the cusp of oblivion where he found her last year. Juggling between drowning her sorrows and indulging in sub-par sex just to feel something, just to deny the connection they share because she felt that she wasnt worthy of him. No, that was all over now, but he can't help when the memories resurface.

The memory of Nesta writhing and arched in her bed as silver flames wreathed her body like a shroud. The screams of pain and anguish that left her lips only to be swallowed by starless night and Deaths flames. How the very mountain trembled beneath their feet, bracing itself for the potential explotion that Cassian could sense building up. Somehow he knew that Velaris would've been crumpled to dust that night and become a fond memory. He felt it in his gut. Just the same way he felt her night terrors take hold of her for her powers to bask in centre stage. And in the same breath, he also felt that he could stop it. Whether that was pure male arrogance or the suspicion of the bond that lay between them, that was yet to be found. And it was...the moment her powers seized in intensity when he said her name. Once, twice, just enough for Rhys to gain control and save them all.

No, he would never forget that and he'd be damned if it were to happen again and catch him in a helpless position as the first time he witnessed the extent of her power. A power that mostly returned back to the Cauldron, only to be replaced by 3 Dread troves and the Mothers favour. A different sort of threat perhaps. One sweeter, kinder, even benign from what he's witnessed.

Nesta barely speaks about the power the same way she did with her Cauldron gifts. She reassures him that these were different, these she understands and smiled every time he enquired about her connection with the Mother. He wishes to know more, his body yearns for it, but his mate has always loved surprises.

Cassian threw on a pair of his undershorts before leaving his and Nestas new room. Though the House of Wind has become their shared abode, its ill advised to walk around naked with the possibility of Azriel becoming an unwilling spectator with his prowling around the halls in the dead of night like he's been doing for the past year.

Cassian loves his brother, sometimes more than kin normally do, he believes sometimes, but he'll never forgive him for that night he ruined his birthday night when he walked in on Nesta modelling her new negligee in the library. He's never jumped from one intense emotion to another so quickly. Blinded by the red lace of her silk garments only to see red of a different kind when the blue of Azriels siphon opened the door.

The territorial male part of him nearly took over that night and he was inclined to let it ride him had Nesta not winnowed them to their room and pushed him onto the bed. The anger, the curiosity he had as to how Nesta was able to winnow around the House when no one else could were obscured then turned insignificant by the view of Nesta sitting astride on his thighs.

Cassian followed the music swimming through the hall which brought him to a new lounge area that didn't present itself in the centuries that he's been living here until Nesta inherited the place.

Many new things have made their presence known and sprung to life since Nestas made the House her home. Hidden rooms have materialized, troves have opened and a gorgeous garden has flourished on the top of the mountain. As if in preparation of someone, or little someone's who might need it.

Cassian isn't blind to the fact that the House makes things available according to Nestas hopes, dreams and wishes. All of which make Cassian excited for the future and a forever with his mate even more.

Nesta was leaning against the cream white wall that she and Cassian painted just last night, holding an A2 canvas painting in both hands. He couldn't decipher her facial expression or read some of the wild thoughts that were evidently bouncing around her head as Nesta was inclined to raising her mental walls to him when she was stressed. He'd once asked why and she told him that she didnt want to plague him with her problems. Didnt want to bother him. Little did she know that Cassian was built for her, problems and all. Nothing about Nesta could bother him. Not even the parts that bothered her.

"Hi." He whispered which startled Nesta before she composed herself. For her to be so drawn into her thoughts that she didnt notice him approaching, instantly put him on edge him.

"Hi." She said, plastering a lazy smile onto her face.

Cassian took that as an invitation to enter. His eyes swept across the room, taking in the organized clutter. From the closed boxes filling the lounge, the half hung snow white gossamer curtains blowing in from the open balcony, to the slightly dusty white marble tiles that were installed just last week.

Cassian was a bit skeptical when Nesta told him of her plans to decorate this room in all white. White cushions, white couches, white walls, white flower arrangements, white chandeliers and white fur carpets felt like a fever dream to Cassian, but now that it's all coming to life, he can see the vision of beauty that Nesta had in mind. A vision not only limited to this lounge but the entire House of Wind that Nesta will decorate herself with the input of the House itself to revitalize the place. All of which will be paid for by Rhys.

How the Cauldron matched him to such a female, not mere female but god, he'll never know. All he can do is be grateful and work to be worthy and deserve the gift to draw breath in her presence.

Now that Nestas accepted her Human emissary role and is the courts newly appointed courtier, she's recieving the same fat salary like the rest of the IC, but Cassian doubts that Rhysand will ever let Nesta access her funds because he insists on paying for everything for her. Which goes to show that Rhys' gratitude for Nesta runs very far. Or guilt, or both.

What Nesta did for Feyre, Nyx and Rhys was something that couldnt be described with words. She saved their lives and in doing so the entire court. Rhys failed to tell his family about him and Feyres decision and never left a plan of action to follow after his death. Had he died, the role of High Lord could've fallen to anyone. Probably Keir or one of Mors detestable brothers because they are Rhys closest male blood relatives. What they would've done to Velaris, done to the entire court....Cassian seldom contemplates that. Nestas sacrifice and mercy saved them all and in doing so, opened herself to a higher form of being that is yet to be seen.

"What are you doing up so late?"

"I had a lot on my mind. I couldn't sleep so I decided to come and get this room in order." She explained, flipping her golden brown hair over her shoulder.

"What's been on your mind?" Cassian asked casually, taking a step closer.

He'd have embraced her and held her against his chest if it weren't for the massive painting in her hands. A painting that he can feel is the source of all her trepidation.

Nesta bit her lip before turning the canvas toward him and placing it in his hands. "Feyre finally finished that and it was delivered yesterday afternoon. I was too afraid to open it then- but I figured that I wouldn't be able to sleep until I saw it."

At first glance, anyone would assume that the muse was Nesta. From the steel eyes to the clear skin and poise in the pose. But upon further inspection, the age of the woman, the beauty spot beneath her right eye and slight darker tresses reveals the truth.

"This is your mother..." Cassian said lowly. The weight of the image, not the canvas itself but the obvious memories, pain and loss the painting held settled on him.

"Was." She uttered a bit sharply. Her throat bobbing up and down.

Cassians eyes darted between Nesta and the painting. Surprise and admiration pouring into him in droves. Her sisters did mention more than once that Nesta is their mothers spitting image, but this...it was as though the same person had been born twice.

"You stole her whole face." He chuckled, bringing a sweet curve to Nestas lip.

"I know...I know." She shrugged.

Cassian lay the painting carefully against the wall then wrapped his arms around his mates shoulders. Her own found their home around his waist as she rested her chin atop his chest so that their eyes could meet.

If it were a few months ago, a year, she would've furiously blinked away the tears that have settled in her eyes, or rejected their proximity entirely. Only to retain a semblance of control that shes strived so hard to maintain. But now shes opened herself to him entirely. Made him a part of both her happiness and pain, loss and gain, victories and failure. Just as their mating vows ordered.

"Talk to me." He whispered, dragging his fingers through her hair.

"I- I just...I know that my mother was not the best of mothers, nor did she love us in the ways that a mother should but....but that doesn't make me love her any less. She might've trained me instead of raised me, saw me as a ticket to wealth and leisure or lived vicariously through me but she was still my mother." Her tears fell down her cheeks as if a damn had been broken. "There were good moments as well as bad and I'm not going to pretend that she was never loving or good to me. Elain and Feyre might've forgotten her, but I can't... I wont."

Cassian lowered his head to press soft kisses to her cheeks where her tears left stains. "I know." He murmured. "You dont share the same memories as Elain and Feyre, it's only natural that you saw her much differently and remember her in a better light than they do." He rubbed feather light circles on the back of her neck in an attempt to assuage her from her pain.

"It broke my heart when I walked through Feyres house that day and didn't see a piece of myself or her. It felt like I was being erased, forgotten. Now I've found my place in that hall but she hasn't. I couldn't allow that to happen. I couldn't let her be erased just like that."

"And she wont be, not if you will it. I'll remember her with you." Cassians lips found Nestas and before they knew it, the couple found themselves descending into a deep kiss that only a mating bond could conjure.

"You know that's one of the reasons I love you?" He stated, to which Nesta replied with a raised brow. "Your compassion, your massive heart, your loyalty... these are all qualities that you motivate me to pursue everyday. You've kept your soft side hidden for a long time and now we're starting to see it." She smiled. By far the most beautiful sight he's ever seen. "That sweet love. Just bring it on home to me."

A giggle was shared between them as soon as the words left his mouth. The lyrics of a song, their song, that came on the day of their mating ceremony that they had on repeat for 2 hours straight. Cassian had never heard a song that spoke to him and his experience with love the way that one did. One that Nesta knew would speak to his very marrow and chose not to warn him in advance, only to see his reaction.

"You're insufferable." She said, only to hug him tighter and lay her head on his chest.

"Well then you're going to have to get used to it, Nes. We only have forever left together."

Just when Cassian expected Nesta to respond, the soft melody of a piano begun in the corner of the room from Nesta symphoniam, followed by the ever true lyrics that might've been written for them, that might as well have been their wedding and mating vows.

If you ever change your mind

About leaving, leaving me behind

Baby, bring it to me

Bring your sweet loving

Bring it on home to me

Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

Nesta begun the dance. Cassian followed with no hesitation. Though it was a far cry from the pulsating waltz they'd done in Hewn city or other court events thereafter. It was far more intimate, passionate. Just a sway of the hips and foot movements that reforged and strengthened the golden bond that surged through them on Winter Solstice and polished it to a shimmer. Their bond was not a mere tether, not a chain. It was a rainbow. Shimmering through storms and sunny days. It didnt only make its presence known or surge when they were in the throes of passion, it became more sentient when they were upset with each other. It was the musical and colourful road that led mate back to mate. Self back to self.

I know I laughed when you left

But now I know I only hurt myself

Baby, bring it to me

Bring your sweet loving

Bring it on home to me

Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

His heart cracked at the words and the truth they carry. The memories when they were so at odds with each other that they could barely be in the same room longer than necessary. The nights when he thought the immense sadness and grief at the prospect of losing her entirely would drown him and suffocate him. When he wished that he could rip his heart out of his chest only to get a reprieve from his anguish. Anguish he attempted to expunge with throwing himself into work and training only to realize that the further they moved from one another, the further they moved from themselves.

As if Nesta could hear and feel those memories, she held onto him tighter. This female, his tether to reality, his anchor, the tree that was able to weather a thunderstorm that left the land decimated only to come back and continue to grow with fruits and flowers on display for all to see.

I'll give you jewellery and money, too

That ain't all, that ain't all I'll do for you

Oh, if you bring it to me

Bring your sweet loving

Bring it on home to me

Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

Cassian knew that from the moment he met Nesta, there was nothing in the world that he wouldn't do for her. Nothing too out of reach that if she should request, he would give. He was already hers in mind, body and soul. Their bond might've snapped into being after she emerged from the cauldeon, but the draw he felt toward her was infinite. Like their souls were made from the same essence but placed on earth in different time periods so that they know life without the other, to appreciate being together more.

You know I'll always be your slave

'Til I'm buried, buried in my grave

Oh honey, bring it to me

Bring your sweet loving

Bring it on home to me

Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

Cassian held up Nestas hand so that he may look upon the wedding and mating band. She requested that she have both and went to the best jeweler in Velaris to fuse both choices so that they sit as one on her finger. Both were made of rose gold, the slimmer wedding ring was imbued with three tanzanite diamonds and the larger mating band sports just one giant diamond that would need it's own security team. Cassian knew his mate loved nice things and made him pay a pretty penny to get it. He'd do again if only to see the stars that twinkled in her eyes when they chose the bands at the jeweler.

He looked at his own jeweled finger. A simple silver band that stood out more than he expected it to. He wanted to get black carbon fiber but Nesta threatened not to speak to him again if he had. Now he can't stop looking at it. He loves how it makes an appearance even though he's bedecked in full illyrian armour. He'll never forget the swell of pride he felt when his soldiers eyes zoned in on the piece of metal that could've easily been obscured by the red siphon that rests atop his hand, but chose to stand out and make its presence known. A symbol of his immature bachelorhood dead and gone, giving life to a new stage in his life. A stage he's waited for longer than he cares to admit.

He remembers using the word 'shackled' when describing his mating bond with Nesta when he was upset with her, but now that word seems appropriate. If the pieces of metal sitting on their matching fingers are the shackles of which he spoke, then he'd wear his shackles with pride.

One more thing

I tried to treat you right

But you stayed out, stayed out at night

But I forgive you, bring it to me

Bring your sweet loving

Bring it on home to me

Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

Cassian rarely thinks about the time they spent apart. When resentment, self punishment and grief pulled them apart only because those memories are nothing in comparison to the centuries he spent without her.

Living life believing the words of the ignorant and seeing oneself as a inferior and undeserving of the love that he relishes in now. The love that has somehow wiped away centuries of self hate and lack of self awareness. He figures that the reason why he used to be the first to throw himself into deadly missions were all desperate plea to prove himself, to put it into stone that he isn't a mere worthless bastard but is someone worthy of respect. But now his outlook has completely shifted. He is no longer living only for himself, but for another. He remembers the blind terror he felt when he thought that Nesta was swallowed by the black water in the Bog, or how she screamed when she thought that she lost him on Mount Ramiel.

He doesnt want either of them to go through that again. To be without the other. To feel that their very heart was ripped out of their chest, when both had taken permanent residence in the other.

He saw how Feyre reacted when Rhys died, and heard when Rhys screamed when Feyre was on deaths doorstop. The mere thought of Nesta experiencing that pain or him has softened his daring heart.

He will live, he will love and he will do it with Nesta in his arms.

As the song drew to a close, Nesta shifted from her position on his chest, too look upon him again. She brought her slim fingers to his cheeks and smiled. "Forever."

He could offer nothing but the same. A truth that had been both a promise and a prayer from the moment they met, "Forever."

Tag: @bakingandbooks3 @rhysandsdarlingfeyre @arinbelle @silvernesta @darklobe @haepaw @carlieg20 @illyrianshadowhunter

[limelocked]

some backstory: basically look at this post then work on the assumption that phil is like Ancient/ages slower than humans/players

phil meets babyblade for the first time (brought to you largely unedited from discord messages)

---

thinking about phil being a traveller, walking or flying from town to town trying to find the new place to stay for like 100 years as a cryptid, passing thought a town, well developed with electrical streetlights not yet too common for testificates or players. The day pass slowly into night and with an unwillingness to take into an inn he settles to finding a cave or tree to camp in.

Techno is at that point perhaps half Phils height but still built shockingly strong for a child and he knows well not to disturb armed people sleeping in the woods. The dew clings to his hooves and fur as he inspects the man sleeping among the leaves and his wings. Phil is already awake, watching back from under the shade of his hat, seeing this upright, scar covered, piglet inspect him. Phil slowly moves as if he's just woken up and techno scampers away

phil knows about pigmen, hes never seen one of course but he's heard plenty about them. Theres villager texts with myths about them and its generally accepted that they're the cause of ruined structures though different cultures seem to disagree on if they caused the ruin or caused the building now in disrepair. He asks in town about pigmen but they only talk about what a pest the zombie pigmen and piglins that come through the resident portal are, the undertone of hate matching that of those that theorize towards the more... evil side of the pigmen. 

 They have heard nothing about any pigmen in the area, for all the town knows, and for all that most people know. They dont exist and they might never have

So he goes back to the forest and "accidentally" leaves some food and trinkets at the food of the tree, barely getting any sleep as he waits for the little creature to arrive. And he does. And with caution the piglet studies the food and items for a while, freezing with every movment of the wind through phils great folded wings. Techno takes some of the food, not all of it, and none of the items even though a cheap dagger seemed to make him hesitate on that choice

It goes on for a few nights, phil sleeping through most of them but knowing who it was that took the gifts and left the little napkin neatly still covering what he didnt take and who he found one morning returning with a handful of berries as a return gift. Phils back fucking hurt sleeping in the tree but he'd gotten invested now so what're you gonna do yknow?

Its noon after a week and a day and phil is half nocturnal because of this little thing coming to take and give like trade under his tree. He's almost falling asleep when bushes move and he's back on (exhausted) high alert. He doesnt move. Under him theres no napkin or items or food this time, he just needed a nap, but that doesnt bother the pink spot down on the ground from moving closer and inspecting the spot.  He's disappointed but returns shortly after with more berries and a messy leg of lamb. He thinks, as phil will never find out, that he's stolen everything this stranger has in terms of food so he has to give back some that he's gotten himself right? its only polite? 

"did you get the lamb by yourself?" to say that techno jumped out of his skin would be an underestimation. 

He didnt freeze but instead, just as cautiously as he seemed to do everything, hunched down into a fighters stance knowing well that the man with wings above him could easily catch him "dont worry mate" phils tone became softer, testing the bounderies of this child "-im not going to hurt you if that's what youre worried about"

he didnt change positions other than to look up slowly to.... g- glare? was this little pig kid GLARING at him?! what was that gonna do?? who would be intimidated by this adorable little fuck?!?! Phil would admit it every time anything even remotely related came up later that he laughed, i mean who wouldnt? hed liken it to a puppy glaring you down and how could that be taken seriously its just cute if anything 

techno, covered in scars of battles both with people and with nature, looked at this winged man in almost disbelief. phil, the nicknamed angel of death who seemingly could never die himself, was almost falling off the branch he'd been using as a bed for a week clutching his stomach as he laughed.

"what?!" the impatient, small, voice piped up after a few seconds "whats so funny!?" the seriousness both stopped phil in his tracks and Didnt Help At All. the tone was serious and.. desperate. it caught him off guard and finally his balance fails and he falls, unfurling his wings to catch himself and kicking up leaves and dust from the ground before his adorable little thief 

 "you're a piglet, you couldnt beat me up so stop looking like it" this was the closest the two had ever been, still a few meters apart but it was apparent that techno had only just realized just how Tall phil was compared to him, and how imposing his wings were when stretched to their full width

"heehh i could totally kill you" fake it til you make it, a strategy that had won him many battles before and it had only failed him.... a few times....  "oh could you?" while techno sounded cocky and serious phil was playful and in the ears of this kid, taunting  "mm.. ya" but phil didnt fail to notice how easily a child had threatened murder

-

A month can go quick and a conversation can go slow. A festival had been set up in the time that it took the two to finish their talk under the tree, or so techno would have you believe. There had been three weeks of food being left by both parties and playful banter countered by genuine threats becoming less so by the meeting. Phil had gifted techno, who'd in exchange given his name, the dagger he'd looked at that first night. The exchange was there sure but phil had also had to joke about techno not being able to kill him with bare hoof hand things, he'd need, yknow, a weapon

They sat then, that meeting in the woods a month after their first encounter, sharing food in relative silence. "-and you dont have any parents im guessing or else you'd not be hanging out with this stranger" phil said absentmindedly, a retort to his own lack of family

"fuck off"

stunned. he looked at techno shocked not only at the swear but at the nerve he'd apparently struck, "sorry mate- didnt mean.." he trailed off, studying the pigs reaction but there was none, he'd just kept eating... he watched for a moment more before debating taking another bite of his own food but, no, no he could be stupid "that means you can travel more though right?" a recovery, but only a stepping stone

"mm, guess so yeah" bait effective

"have you been to to the north much?" "... nah.. mostly around here and west" there was a long pause before the eventual "i think" that phil had come to expect at this point, though this time it wasnt accompanied by an equally unsure "im pretty sure"

"well im leaving town, could come with me?"

[misterbitches]

So I LOVE the trope of unrequited love in romance. Anyway I like this line because this is sort of interesting and important.

 Frankly to MOI it is cowardly (and this isnt a bad thing; all our good strengths are also bad and some of the things we do in times of stress or as a reaction to our mental whatever isnt great! It's fine) to stay in that type of love so long. But it is soooo comforting to be uncomfortably still. Your identity is this thing you have been using as almost a crutch. Except that is soooo bad because stuff like this happens.

My fav trope in this is that the person on the receiving end of the love (but not being love bombed which is a fine line) comes to realize how much they love the other person. However CONFLICT! Because now they have this person. They have what  they want. what they thought they wouldnt get or didnt deserve or something equally as sad and not self-serving. it’s selfish in all the waysy that you are intentionally ignoring yourself! be selfish for you! seriously! anyway so now the other person now has to pave their way TRULY thinking about themselves. Where Shu Yi spent years developing with his friends, GSD had more responsibility. A focus on like everything but an emotional self idk.  Which is fine whatever the story goes through this that’s not my point.

Now that you have put such a stock in someone pretty selflessly and sadly and just all kinds of girl WYD right, how could you possibly be secure in them wanting you? I’ve yet to see this not come up in this trope (even if it’s not done well) because it’s pretty much built into the story. 

and i really like that conflict because it shows us that the character who has all thsi love to give actually managed to cultivate their own life while thinking of this person as a prize that they could get if theyre good enough. but the pain of knowing that’s not how it works. 

now that we’re all over the hump (i could talk about the stupidity of miscommunication but whatever lmao) i’m not as mad at his dumb fuckin decisons (gsd) cos im like well yea. you would be insecure. the person with the perceived most love is the most unsure of the thing they claimed to have wanted the most. and I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVEEEEEEEE IT especially ESPECIALLLLLLLLY when the noble idiocy trope comes from the person who was in love and they literally underesstimate how anyone could love them back as hard and it ends up being super hurtful to the other person because it shows the insecurity and how their love was also a mirage bc they used it. 

shin hye sun is in this weekend drama from 2017? she’s this teacher and she gets together with this famous golfer. i LOVE them together. he ends up falling for her and chasing her because she’s like (run, duck, cover, run lmao) and also in...unrequited love with his brother. and at one point all the familial mixups are revealed (it’s a lot i love it!) and she gets extremely upset at the problems at first but then at the fact that he couldn’t tell her what happened and they couldn’t figure it out together. it’s like seeing “i love you just as much, how can you not see that?: and having the person realize just how fucking sad and weird it is to live your life the way you have with this idea in your head. i love jealousy incarnate for that reason too (but also im a GHJ and JJS stan.) it’s just so GOOOOD being unsure and ufcked up about it.

 not that his life is regretful just that the love you had wasnt exactly real for you and wasnt really going to be real for you? so now that it is you have to manage your real expectations in the NOW not that projection. 

i would honestly be so furious at gsd in general but also with this added layer. because you don’t give a choice to your partner (do not take away my free will i will scream) and then the partner is like “uHHHHHHHH ok so this is what we call a relationship and i know you may not know what that means but part of it is that i, too, share your feelings and would like to be privvy to the decisions you make on our behalf. i do not appreciate the implication that you can’t trust my love. if you could revise thank you.” that makes your partner feel shitty too! like the idea that they will leave you in the lurch can’t boost the confidence of the person who is begging you to accept it back and trust it. understand it. so yea in his mind it wasnt enough or true and it makes sense and this is why we have to teach children to not have idols and stuff. i coudlnt do this it would be so much pressure to do. even loving someone i think is awesome woudl jsut be too painful. i know i wouldnt be able to handle it. theyre young and he probably couldnt deal with the intense feelings of it all. i just feel like i would constantly be worried about love and in the shadows and unless i’m prepared to really work through that and deal with it, which even at my age im not sure i could, then i have to evaluate it.

but man i love the idea of it getting all confusing and mixed up. about the person actually loving you for you and not your projection so the outputs are different. it’s really fun to see this person deprive themselves and finally be fulfilled. of course i do not think a romantic partner is the end all be all but as finding companionship is huge it will be a facet. it kind of kills several birds with one stone because it really forces you to see people as individuals. it’s a conflicting message and it’s great to watch unfold and it is satisfactory. it is! people arent prizes but it’s good. love

like this whole thing has some stupid writing in it imo but it makes sooooooooooo much sense hearing/seeing that line. dude you just had nom idea honestly. we live in our heads and fantasies to help us pull through but what h appens when we really have to put our feet down on the ground? when you attain it after being so fearful and cowardly to not pursue, you know? we all know that feeling. gotta get with the TIMES MAN we live in a a pantene pro v go for it

[unlikelyempathpruneauthor]

Back Home-JATP

Reggie x reader

Summary: Julies older sister who died same year as the boys, and even dated reggie, came to Julie sooner because she played her sisters favorite record.

a/n: I made this after watching the show, so here's this hopefully its not too confusing to follow if so let me know! feedback is always appreciated! love you all!

You had died from an unexpected car wreck, you were about 17, same age Julie is by now. You remember that day clearly, you were just on your way home from practice, and suddenly you were crushed by another car. Police say it was a drunk diver who had ended your life.

You knew your family would be hurting even more you just wanted to be there for each of them, mama, papa, Carlos, and Julie and as much as this sounds weird even your tia.

 She doesn't know much of you since you died in 1995, but she wished she got to meet you. there were many videos your dad showed Julie when you would preform. You and ray were very close, you were his first daughter, he wished he was able to feel your presence.

After you died you stayed in a pitch black room for about some time. It felt like an hour, but you were suddenly brought back to your house. You saw Julie was playing your favorite record, by beatoven, classic music was your secret pleasure, of course modern music was your favorite too, but classical had something to it.

“Gosh i miss hearing beatoven.” you said as you saw Julie turned  around quickly and screamed right after.

“Wait you can see me?” you asked as she came closer to you. “Yeah i can hear you too. Why, what oh my gosh, flynn’s right, i need to stop pulling all nighters.” she said as you laughed “Jules, i don think all nighters are the excuse here, because we are in live time right now.” you said as she calmed down.

You two talked got to know one another more. this was a dream for Julie to finally meet you. its like you two were already best friends, it felt good to know your sister. you were aware of this because your mom was pregnant when you died.

she had told you your mom died and how she stopped playing music. she told you music was everything to her, but she just couldn't play the piano without crying. you knew you would stop playing if you were still alive, but if it was a way to keep her memory alive you would continue to play, but you weren't there, so you couldn't really say much.

you two spent time together in the loft and just talked about memories about your mother, you thought it would be nice to tell her about your mom during the 90′s. god you loved your mothers 90′s hair and outfits.

today you were in the studio as usual as Julie was in the loft looking around. she came down and took it out.

“Oooh what cd is that.” you asked as she showed you reggies band mix. You just froze as if you saw a ghost. “Whats wrong?” she asked. “Uh this is my boyfriends band mix.” you said as your eyes became glassy. You didn't think you would hear his voice again and seeing this just made you remember about your memories.

“You had a boyfriend! Did papa know?” she smirked. “Of course he didn't, i kept it on the low.” you said as she giggled. “Do you wanna listen?” she asked as you nodded. She played it and you herd reggie’s bass, you remember the times he would play it when he learned a new rhythm.

“Wow these guys are good, what did your boyfriend play?” jules asked. “He plays, or well played the bass.” you said with a smile.

Just then out of nowhere those three boys had popped out of nowhere, kinda like a teleportation type of thing. You and julie just stood there seeing those boys fall on the ground. Your eyes landed on reggie. You didn't know he died too.  Julie then screamed out of nowhere which caused the boys to yell too.

“Wait, y/n?” reggie said as you smiled, you didn't think you would see him again.

“Reggie.” you said as you two embraced one another in a hug. You had missed his hugs more than anything. “Uh hello! There are still two other boys in moms studio.” julie said as you laughed. “Right sorry, well you know reggie, i told you about him just like a minute ago.” you said as she nodded.

“yeah papa, would not like him, the leather jacket just screams bad boy.” she said as you giggled. “okay who are these other cute faces.” you said as Luke smirked.

“huh she thinks we're cute.” he said as Alex patted his back.

“These are his friend Jules.” you said as Luke tried shaking her hand.

“Hi im luke were from sunset curve, tell your friends.” he said as julie shook his hand.

“This is Alex, and well you weirdly know reggie, also reggie who is she?” Luke said as alex hit his shoulder. “Im sorry he’s really not um how do you say it, smart.” he said as you laughed.

“No worries i kinda got that.” Julie  said. “Hey im not dumb, I just, he never told us about her.” Luke said.

Gosh they were all still the same, you didn't think you would see them. Reggie told you about them but you didn't think you would meet them like this, you know dead.

“Hi, im alex, you must be the girl who kept this dude or is keeping the dude very emotional. “ alex said as you laughed. “Yes i am, he says he isnt emotional but you guys should now that he literally cried when we watched-” you said reggie coughed. “Not here y/n” he said as you giggled. “Well that’s a story for later Alex.” you said as you giggled.

You guys caught up with one another and got to no more about the band. You noticed immediately that luke was head over heals for julie. The time the boys were here, julie started playing and singing. You were so happy reggie and his band got her to sing. You didn't think you would hear her amazing voice or hear reggie play again with his band.

You would sing too with her, but you couldn't with an audience. You knew if videos of you were out into the internet, your dad would probably flip out, or cry. Thankfully the one at the school, where you were trying to get Julie back into the program, no one had their phones out.

Today though Julie wanted you to sing so bad with her at the garage party where everyone was gonna be there, even your dad carlos and tia. You knew it was a bad idea, your family would get suspicious.

“Come on please sing with me, we have great harmony. Plus I  can just tell dad it's a computer generated, he knows the guys are holograms from Sweden, wouldn't be bad to add you in.” she said as you smiled.

“Okay fine,” you said as she squealed and hugged you.

it was pretty nerve wracking that you were gonna preform in front of your family with your sister and well your boyfriend your father had no idea of. made you feel a little bad for not telling him. you were currently just sitting in your room thinking how this was all gonna go. reggie had poofed in seeing how nervous you were.

“You alright?” reggie asked as you smiled.

“Yeah i am, just nervous is all, i don't know how they're gonna react when they see me with Julie.” you said as he held your hand. “It wouldn't be bad for them to see you with julie. Plus i haven't herd you sing and i herd you sing beautifully.” he said as you giggled.

“Right i forgot you will be hearing me too. Makes me even more nervous.” you said as he placed his arms over you to cuddle you so you get those nervous thought out of your head. you did this when he was nervous, you didn't think he would remember.

You had no idea what you guys were, but you knew the love for one another wasnt gone. I mean it's not like you broke up, so technically you are still dating for 25 years.

“You’ll be great, after years of not seeing you, i've missed you and us.” he said as you smiled.

“Me too reggie.” you said as you gave him a peck on the cheek.

“Wait really? So are we still together?” he said as you rolled your eyes.

“Reggie we didn't break up, we died.” you said as he was still confused.

“Yes reggie were dating still. Technically for 25 years.” you said as his eyes widen.

“So youre telling me i've missed 25 aneverseries?” he said as you giggled. You sure loved him, this was one of the reason you did. You knew now he would have no idea what new slang is or even sarcasm. “Reggie, you really are something special, one of the many reasons i love you.” you said as you two kissed. You were in sync with one another as if you were never separated. It felt almost normal.

“Ugh i though i would never see my sister kiss a boy, i thought that part was over.” julie said as you both looked up. “You and me both sister.” alex said as you all giggled.  “Well face suckers were going on in a little.” julie said as you all got ready.

You were so nervous, but you did miss preforming again, even though the past performances were your stuffed animals and you parents and fetus Julie. Once Julie started singing, right on cue we all appeared. You were standing next to Julie and you saw your whole families reaction. they were shocked, but they seemed very happy seeing you.

“I believe,I believe that we're just one dream, Away from who we're meant to be. That we're standing on the edge of. Something big, something crazy. Our best days are yet unknown. That this moment is ours to own.” you and Julie both sang with the chemistry making the crowd love the sisterly love.

You were next to reggie while julie was on top of the piano. Yours and reggies chemistry made everyone go crazy, you saw your dad in the corner who was tearing up a little while tia patted his back.

Julie sat down in the bench, and you started singing the last part of the song. You and reggie had moved up making the audience go even more crazy with how much chemistry the band had.

“Running from the past. Tripping on the now. What is lost can be found, it's obvious.” you sang as you all bowed and disappeared in an instant and everyone went wild.

Your father had quickly went over to Jules and you knew what he was gonna ask. you stood next to him as Julie looked at you and your dad.

“Julie, why was y/n up there?” he said choking up because he hadnt seen his daughter in years.

“Uh dad i miss her and i thought you could see her preform again i know you miss her.” she said as he was sobbing.

“Yeah i do. Gosh it felt good seeing you two sing together I would always imagine that in my head, thank you Julie,” he said as he hugged her. God how you wished you could just tell him, but you knew it was for the best not to.

You sat in your room and just wanted to sleep in your room like old times. Reggie poofed in and you looked up seeing he was there and laying back down.

“You okay?” he asked. “Yeah i am, it just felt good performing just this once again, felt nice preforming with you.” you said. “Yeah i liked it a lot, wish we did it when we were alive.” he said as you playfully scoffed and punched his shoulder.

“God you sure now how to make me feel better.” you said as you hugged and stayed with one another. 

“maybe you should join the band, wouldn't be so bad to have another lead female singer, plus our chemistry makes those people go crazy.” he said as you laughed.

“I don't know reggie, its the phantom and Julie, as much as I liked it, I don't know. you guys are all perfect together.” you said as he put your hair behind your ear.

“im sure the dudes and Julie will love you in the band, come on please?” he said as you smiled at his way of persuading you.

“okay fine, but we have to talk to them first okay?” you said as he nodded and you two just laid in one another presence. 

Reggie had broke the silence, “you know this room brings back memories.” he said.

“oh reg, this room makes you think of many things we did.” you said as you laughed and kissed him and spent the night with one another in each others arms like old times. You knew this time you weren’t worried your dad walked in on you with him, but you sure miss the the adrenaline and the caution.