#i wasnt fat because i ate too much i was fat because my damn body hated me with burning passion-

[gayjunebug]

my favorite thing that happens rn is everyone in the family telling me how i look better these days, how i visibly started taking care of myself and so on. like i didnt have to be put on three different types of medication to make my body work as an afab body should. like my acne didnt disappear only after i started taking meds. like i didnt lose weight only after getting the meds.

[lostinatrainofthoughts]

cultivating mindfulness when it comes to eating!!

eating slowly, savouring and really tasting the flavours of each bite, and chewing your food well instead of just engulfing all at once really helps. it makes me feel happy and appreciative of the food that warms my stomach and keeps me full and motivated to continue my day. listening to your stomach when it's done also helps resist the need to eat more than necessary and eating in moderation.

ive always been a big eater ever since i was a kid, so obviously it would show on my body! i would always be a victim of fatshame when surrounded by a room full of skinny people. i would just always stand out. without fail, my uncle would just call out to me while i was eating just to ask why im fat in the middle of a family function, among a sea of people. my aunt would bring me to exercise time to time to lose the weight. my grandma once told me that being fat is ugly and no one would want me when i was 14 and i locked myself in the toilet and sobbed.

it was when i met my high school friends that how i viewed myself was alittle different. they asked me how to get my body and i was like huh???? but i'm fat. they were like what? no youre not. so that was mindboggling to me. til this day i can never seem to shake off that feeling. am i fat? or am i skinny? am i normal?

being scrutinised for just existing at such a young age messes up your brain, your perception of yourself, especially your relationship with food.

at 19, i did a really horrible calorie deficit of 600kcal each day and successfully lost 10kg in 2-3months? wild. but i wasnt happy. i got angry at everyone and hated food. then i binge ate and gained back the weight i lost. at 22, i suffered from steroid withdrawal and couldnt eat gluten, sugar, seafood, tomatoes, eggs, etc etc. and that was a whole lot to remove from my diet. i was 48kg and that was the lowest ive been. i had that weight when i was in primary 6. so when i was 12. and what was annoying was how people kept telling me that i should eat. the same people that told me that i shouldnt be fat, is telling me to eat more, now that i looked like that. i was so angry. damn if i do, damn if i dont. after recovering, i resorted to eat all the food i was deprived of for a year. and gained back the weight. again.

got my first teaching job and i hated it, gained some more. because of all the stress eating. food was my comfort.

it was hard losing back the weight ESPECIALLY when youre happy. i love eating (albeit a lil too much) it makes me happy.

Got dumped two month ago, and lost the weight i wanted to lose before LMAO. i just couldnt down my food during grieving. now that im okay, i want to see food in a different light but also become fit. which means losing weight correctly. thus, eating mindfully. and its helped alot. not restricting or depriving access to food, but just eating things in moderation. i dont have to starve myself. i dont have to eat all that cake in one sitting. i can savour it and there will be another day to eat it. with the addition of drinking alot of water to. and alot of walks to clear my head. it took me awhile to get here but at least im here now.

[tendouluvr]

aizawa calling you clingy - gn reader

- [attempt at] angst to fluff

- warnings: being called clingy, aizawa gets annoyed with reader and berates them, one use of the word ‘shit’

- wc: 1.9k

a/n: this wasnt......as sad as i wanted... i cant tell if im just not so good at writing angst or immune to it T_T

once again, not edited!

#! aizawa!!!! eee

#! hes a levelheaded man so arguments are rare

#! u both trust one another so theres no reason to have doubts in ur relationship

#! being his s/o, he tells u things thats not so easy to tell others over time, and you’re patient enough to let him take however much time he needs to let u in

#! however, years of keeping to himself most of the time doesnt just disappear even if you’re his s/o

#! so aizawa does have this tendency to close off and distance himself from u bc of his stress and insecurities

walking through the spacious halls of ua, you were headed towards your lovely boyfriend. aizawas been pretty busy lately with teaching his class, making sure no one is being left behind progress wise, doing his job as a pro-hero, and then spending his free time training with shinsou.

you knew showing up at school unexpectedly was something aizawa found irky, that’s why you made sure to tell him the night before that you would be coming during lunch time to bring him some yummy homemade food.

humming softly to yourself, you finally reached the door opening to class 1-A and walked in. the classroom was empty, but there at the front was no one other than mr. aizawa shouta. you quickly greeted him with a smile and he turned to look at you.

“what are you doing here?” he slowly asked with a look of confusion.

“i brought you some food! did you eat yet? i hope not, i made-,” you quickly stopped talking once you noticed the look he was giving you.

“why are you here? i already told you, you shouldnt be showing up without letting me know first. our relationship is quiet, if the students see they’ll get noisy and ask questions, i’ll get bombarded by my colleagues, and it’ll put you in danger if words get out. did anyone see you coming here? can you listen to me for once instead of continuing to always be near me? you’re so damn clingy and need to start thinking about the consequences your action will bring. i already ate, just go home before anything happens.”

your jaw dropped a little after hearing what he just said to you. did he not remember what you told him last night?

worst of all, you couldnt believe he just called you clingy. you just wanted to do something nice for him by making his favorite food hoping that it’ll relieve some of the stress thats been building up, but he just thought of you as clingy.

fine, if clingy is what you are then you’ll stop bothering him. you quickly whispered an apology, not sure if he could hear or not, and began making your way back home as fast as possible. the food you made for him was still tightly grasped in your hand.

due to the new dormitories, aizawa stays at ua majority of the time. he comes home to your shared apartment whenever he can to spend time with you. unfortunately, those time aren’t usually much because as soon as he’s free, he’s quick to do something else.

once you’ve made it home, you packed the food away and put it in the fridge. you felt your phone buzzing repeatedly, already guessing who it could possibly be, you took it out to see it was your boyfriend.

shou <3: im sorry

shou <3: honey, im so sorry. pls text me back when u can

shou <3: i know what i said hurted u, but i promise u i dont mean it. pls just call me or text me so we can talk about this

shou <3: i have to go back now. but i love u. so much.

staring at your screen, you contemplated texting him back.

letting out a sigh, you decided not to.

putting your phone to the side, you walked to the bedroom and changed out of your clothes into the comfy pjs you were wearing right before you left.

seeing that there was nothing for you to do other than wallow in your insecurities and let out a few tears, you got into bed and made yourself comfortable for an afternoon nap.

aizawa on the other hand was at school and distracted. his own words kept replaying over and over in his head and all he wants to do is smack himself a few times (after comforting u ofc).

his students could tell he was in a badder mood than usual so they collectively agreed to not worsen it (one particular student does not care. can u guess?). aizawa just wanted the day to pass so he can apologize to you directly and make it up with some cuddling.

despite being distracted with planning his apology and thinking about you, he was still teaching as he should and constantly telling his students to be quiet because he’s intimidating like that.

a few hours passed, the students are back in their dorms and some of the teachers are still in school finishing up some work. the hallways were empty and silent, and the weather outside was nice and calm - not too sunny with just the right amount of wind.

however, if you were to peek your head inside of class 1-A at the moment, the environment is an exact 180. aizawa is quickly trying to grade the remaining stack of papers he has on his desk so he can leave as soon as he can. there’s papers everywhere, he’s not so sure where the answer key went off to but to hell with the answer key. he just needs to go home.

his hair is messily tied up and his lips have probably been gnawed off by now. as soon as school ended, he got out his phone to see if you replied and sadly you didn’t. he doesn’t blame you though, considering all of the shit he said to you earlier. 

finally writing down the fat score in red pen onto the final paper, he gathers everything and put to the side of his desk and packed up his stuff. his stuff being his yellow sleeping bag and that’s it.

he went to his room first to clean himself up a bit, and then grabbed a taxi to go to your shared apartment. arriving at the front door, he takes out his copy of the key and entered.

first thing he noticed while entering and taking off his shoes was that the apartment was dark and quiet. he made his way to the kitchen first and turned on its lights to check the fridge. in the fridge laid the food you made for him earlier today. he took it out to start heating it up in the microwave then he walks away from the food and to your bedroom.

quietly opening the door, he poked his head in to see you laying on your side with your back facing the door. he assumed you were asleep and gently closed the door to not wake you up. he made his way over to the bed and sat on the edge of it. 

you, feeling the bed dip, slowly opened your eyes to be greeted with the sight of your boyfriend gingerly brushing his fingertips across your cheekbones. he notices that you’re awake and looks up to meet your eyes.

making eye contact with him, you quietly grunted and brought the blanket up to cover your face while turning your entire body to the other side to ignore him. aizawa sighed and brought his hand down to rest on your waist as he begins talking.

“yn... i know you’re.. mad at me for the things i said to you earlier, but i’m truly sorry. i know saying i didn’t mean it isn’t good enough for you to forgive me, but i want you to know i’m really really sorry. i’ve been so busy for the past few days, my head is all over the place, seeing you at school just got me overthinking and worried that i ended up saying things about you that’s not true at all. i love you so much, hun. you’re the best thing to happen to me. you don’t have to forgive me now, i understand if you want some space.”

it was silent for some time after he finished his apology. the echoing silence was slowly making aizawa worried that you’ll leave him, but he won’t tell you that. thinking that you wanted space, he lifted his shaky hand off of your waist and moved to get off of the bed when you suddenly grabbed onto his hand to keep him there.

“i...i told you the day before that i was going to be visiting you during lunch time. did you not remember? or even hear me tell you?”

aizawa situated himself back down onto the bed before replying. “if i’m being honest, i don’t really remember much of that day at all. my brain was occupied with work and rest, so i was practically drained by the end of the night. i’m sorry i took it out on you, it’s my fault for overworking when i know you’ve been trying to help.”

letting out a soft sigh, you turned your body back towards him. still holding onto his hand, you carefully slotted your fingers in between his and pulled him down to lay with you. he immediately found comfort in this and placed his head into your neck. you could feel his facial hair against your skin making you let out a quiet giggle.

“i love you. i know you have a habit to overwork since that’s all you did before we dated, but please shou, take care of yourself. im not talking physically, cuz you’re already so damn fine, but mentally. i hate seeing you bury yourself in work and training that it even makes me tired just watching you.”

he grumbled something against your neck - his usual reaction to you complimenting him - and held onto you tighter while putting light kisses on your collarbone.

“i know. i will. please bear with me, i know i’m a pain but i’ll always try to be my best for you. i’m never letting you go, love you too much for that.”

“hmm? who said i’m going? you’re stuck with me forever just so you know,” you laughed and patted his head before rising from the bed.

“i heard you heating up the food earlier. get up and come eat,” you tugged aizawa to get him off the bed.

he grumbled once again because he was being forced to leave the warm comfort of your shared bed, but followed you out anyway holding onto your hand.

“wait. you heard me entering? so you were pretending to sleep when i got here?! not funny, babe. not funny. -also don’t take sleep for granted. i did and look where that got me. stop laughing!”

bonus:

it was the next day and aizawa just finished passing out the grades he rushed grading yesterday. even though it was rushed, he was confident that there wasn’t any mistakes-

“aizawa sensei, you marked this question wrong when it’s right. this one too. and this other one on the last page. are you trying to fail me?!” denki dramatically wailed as he showed aizawa his papers.

guess he did make mistakes after all.

[ithisatanytime]

Vegetables are fucking bullshit. im not gonna proofread this, but if you want to lose weight this is literally the only thing besides surgery that will work and its not even hard at all i promise, this was not inspired by me being disgusted with fat women, as everybody knows im down with the thickness. not fat though, there is a wider range for men then women believe, but i guess they are mostly just trying to compete with each other (i dont actually believe this for a second, it is for men its just a subconscious instinct, manifesting consciously as a desire to compete or look good) i added this long as disclaimer because this is a lifelong interest of mine, i always talk about it, but i dont want some poor girl to read it and think i want her to go on a diet you are beautiful just as you are, but at the same time i didnt want past relationship girls to see me saying i was down with the thickness and think they were heavy, only one was heavy

  Dont get me wrong, i like vegetables, but they are honest to god a fucking scam. vegetables are CHEAP, especially grains and cerials, to be honest grains are less bullshit than leafy greens, but they are still kind of bullshit. you are made of fucking meat, thats what you are, all the stuff you need or pretty damn close, is found in meat, vegetables are mostly insoluble fiber, very low in calories, which despite what you have been led to believe is not a good thing. its nice to have a little roughage in your diet, but the idea that we should be eating primarily plant based food is fucking insane, and i suspect is a result of the sugar companies years long propaganda campaign against fat. for years they funded studies claming dietary fat or cholesterol caused fat to accumulate on the body, and cholesterol in the arteries, we have known since the seventies that these claims were false, but the propaganda campaign was so extensive, even doctors commonly fuck this up. you cant digest plants on your own, you need to recruit gut bacteria to ferment it in your bowels, in other words it rots in your guts making you bloated and gassy, all for just a tiny bit of calories, its ASS, because no one can live that way, your diet is failing because you arent eating enough meat. meat is food, its real food. no fucking animal would go through the trouble of evolving the necessary intelligence and hardware needed to have to KILL every single meal, if it wasnt so much better than the fucking grass and leaves that are everywhere, and grass is much easier to catch and kill than a gazelle,so why bother? because the gazelle is food, its made of the same building blocks you are, you are made of meat.

   Meat is much more readily digested in your body than plant matter, people think that meat constipates you and ive seen people say it sits in your gut for years, the opposite is true, meat is digested quickly and efficiently leaving behind almost no waste material whatsoever, meaning you arent pooping because you arent making poop, meat is digested almost completely where as plant matter is filled with fiber which passes through either completely unchanged or only mildly changed into a gel like substance in the case of soluble fiber.  but heres the real MEAT of this post (heh) fats and proteins from animal sources (meat) are far more satiating than carbs from plants, meaning a hundred calories of animal fats and’/proteins will keep you full for longer, than a hundred calories of carbs, and i can prove it, a boneless skinless chicken breast has 284 calories (very little fat but high in protein) thats less total calories than two cans of mountain dew, how long do you think you could last after eating a chicken breast vs drinking two mountain dews? there are 250 calories in a new york strip steak, thats less than two potatoes, i bet you could last all day if you ate a new york strip steak for breakfast, a potato and a half without butter or anything? you would crash by noon.

 Vitamins are fucking bullshit. as long as you get micronutrients into your body at some point, meaning you arent a third worlder who eats nothing but one kind of cheap food, you are getting vitamins, all of them, most of them and guess what, meat has literally all of the required vitamins your body needs in abundance, so long as you occasionally eat liver. but it hardly fucking matters, almost no one in the first world is seriously deficient in micronutrients (the vitamin d thing is bullshit, they miscalculated the requirements or there is some racial factor they refuse to aknowlege, because if fucking everyone is d3 deficient and doing just fine, then no one is. also d3 is found ONLY in animals, not in plants) its all about macro-nutrients FAT PROTEIN carbs, you are eating too much carbs, if you try to stop eating so much carbs you are going to fuck it up, i promise you, your body keeps track EVERY DAY, trying to maintain homeostasis, you will take one extra bite, you will measure your portions wrong, you will eat a whole goddamn cake because you are starving, your body is better at counting calories than you will ever be. so heres what you do, DONT TRY, if you have to try you will fail, you are working too goddamn hard, be realistic with yourself, a temporary diet is actually fucking meaningless, diets are for life. you cant sustain that horrible dumb ass bulshit girl magazines are trying to make you live on, NO ONE CAN, less than 6 percent of people who have lost significant amounts of weight will keep the weight off after a year. who the fuck knows after that as well, other than its certainly less than six percent. i am giving you the cheat code right now, all you have to do is take my word for it, do i seem like i spent years obsessing over this shit? because i have, heres the secret. all you have to do, nothing more, if you try to do more you are fucking up! all you have to do, is take your body weight, divide it by two, and try to get that many grams of protein per day, like your life depended on it, preferably from MEAT. preferably with fat! but honestly i dont fucking care. tbh if you are a girl, id shoot four 40-50 grams everyday, and heres the thing, please! do not go for lowfat, lean meats. you want meat with fat on it, preferably unprocessed, you can still eat hamburgers and sausages but dont make them the center piece of your diet, because they actually add fats in as part of the processing, you can stil leat it though, if you try to get your 40 grams of protein from lean meat like chicken breast alone, you will go crazy and quit, or you will just eat a bunch of carbs to make up for it. again, you want fat and protein. if for the next two months, you made it your goal to eat whatever the fuck you wanted (this is important) so long as you got 40 grams of protein a day, preferably from animal sources, preferably with fat, i promise you, not only will you lose weight like fucking crazy, but it wont even be hard at all, you will feel like you are fucking gorging yourself while slowly getting hotter. that being said, to us men, being hyper thin is not really all its cracked up to be, thats gay fashion designer shit, we like women to be soft, to contrast are hard muscular bodies.

[ti-bae-rius]

Massive TW for eating disorders, restrictive eating, etc.

Sooo I never thought I’d make this post but here we go.

Last week, on Tuesday night, I had convulsions. I couldn’t stop shaking, and it was like a diabetic response. This was because I have anorexia. Nothing that scary has ever happened as a result and it was a real shock. My parents were terrified and the next day, a week ago today, they intervened. Things had to change. I agreed.

I’ve had this problem since I was about 14, around the age I had my first panic attack. At the time, I was a performer. I spent a lot of time in tight-fitting leotards, changing in front of people, being lifted by partners and fitted for costumes. What I ate was important. Like I mentioned, I had my first panic attack around this age. I also got a sickness bug, which made my emetophobia a lot worse. I was also figuring out that I was gay. None of these things were in my control. My panic attacks, it turns out, are spontaneous, untriggered, and chronic. I couldn’t control when they happened. I still can’t. I probably won’t ever be able to. I couldn’t control the fact I was ill. I couldn’t control my sexuality.

But I could control what I ate and how much.

Which is what I did.

It was never about the way I looked. I didn’t want to be thin, it wasn’t about my appearance. It was about control, power. I felt so strong, so powerful. I was in control. No one could stop me. I took pride in ways to hide how little food I was eating.

But I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t in control. I wasn’t powerful at all. I was weak - physically. I couldn’t run, I couldn’t work for too long without getting headache, I got out of breath doing everything. And my body suffered. I was malnourished. I got hair all over my body because my body was trying to keep me warm without any fat. The hair on my head started falling out. I got acne. My hair was greasy. I was pale and my veins stood out. It was never about looks before, but now it was.

Now, I hated how I looked, and I couldn’t see that I’d done it to myself. I’d made me hate my body. The solution? Keep starving myself.

I was miserable. I was hungry, I could see my ribs, my wrists could be encircled by two fingers. I had a thigh gap that I hated. Leggings hung like joggers. I had no boobs. I never wore makeup because I hated looking at my face in the mirror for long enough to put it on.

I tried every work around I could think of. I cut my hair short so it didn’t fall out. I dyed it so you couldn’t see how weak it was. I bought baggy clothes and told people I was always cold. And it was worth it - because I was so powerful, wasnt I? So fucking powerful that I had to quit the thing that caused all of this - I stopped dancing. I didn’t have the stamina. I stopped singing. I didn’t have the lung capacity. I stopped acting. I didn’t have the memory.

I’d undermined all the things I loved.

And I kept going, kept sabotaging, kept making the circle I lived inside smaller and smaller.

And then last week.

I’ve only been doing this a week, and it’s petrifying, but it’s so worth it. I sing to myself again, I get excited to know what’s for tea, I have the energy to work! I’ve lost so many years of my life for fake power when I could have reclaimed it myself all those years ago by being healthy. I never had to take power back - I always had it. Only when I started grabbing for it by starving myself did I lose it.

I’ve never spoken about this, ever. I was so ashamed, so embarrassed, so scared. But if I put this out into the world, I feel like I’ll hold myself accountable, know that I started my recovery and I can damn well continue it.

Recovery isn’t linear - I know that. I’ll have good days and bad days, days where those old habits will creep back, and days I’ll be able to quash them. But right now, I’m happy. Right now, I’m not afraid I’ll faint at any moment. Right now, I think I’m going to go and get a biscuit.

[noidsome]

The big issue with the digimon tri movies, and why you should be pissed too.

I just finished watching the 5th digimon movie, and to put it short, i excpected nothing and im still let down. This is a big negative critique on what ive seen so far from the tri movies, but its also more of a vent for me, because theres something about these movies that really fucking grinds my gears and i feel i finally need to let that out somewhere. Look at this as a sort of....badly written analyctic rant. So far this movie, in short, was as i dreaded, 70% meiko bullshit and 20% kari...which is so fucking insulting i dont even know...but thats why im here.

Now before you assblast me with your stupid crap, please try to understand that as harsh as im writing this, im trying to look at this movie from a critical standpoint, and no im not going to put in the effort to be “nice” about it because if digimon tri can get away with half assing everything about itself, then wont bother. If you cant handle that, move on. If your interested, click the read more and we can begin this shit fest, because i think its about god damn time someone put these mediocre movies in their place.

The pacing.

I dont know about you guys, but to me it feels like these movies, or episodes, are either dragging on forever, or they rush really fast. This movie especially took its sweet ass time to give us 2 whole half an hour scenes of meiko being depressed about her shitty OC digimon, to leave the actual interesting fights and plot to 1 and a half episode, out of 4. Im sorry but i feel like ive been following this fucking story for 6 years, its so fucking slow and it drags on for fucking ever sometimes.

I do understand that its important to establish character interactions, and god damn does this fucking series need some, but sometimes it really stops the action dead in its tracks, and as much as i appriciate the movies giving each character some focus, it goes on for too long. the ending to movie 5 was....well rushed as shit. 

But despite all this, its just really frustrating that half the entire series is just them standing around and TALKING...talking talking talking, exposition exposition exposition. It also feels really slow and stagnated sometimes, and the cheesy music in the background of the sad scenes dont really help much. And other times things are glossed over so fast that im standing there wondering if i missed out on something because i accedently blinked. Like how they entered the digital world, only to just suddently fall out of it immediatly after from a big digital gate just like that. Or how meiko just...SUDDENTLY appeared in the digital world with no warning or real reason. huh?? shes here now?? what?? meicoomon is still infected? what?? gennai is back with the dark masters? what where did they come from? why are they following him!? WHAT?? HUH??? HELLO???

im just….frustrated. im frustrated that i have to wait for 6+ months every a new movie comes out, only for the movie to stall for fucking ever and leave the actual OH SHIT moments to the last part, AND END ON A CLIFFHANGER. Its such fucking god damn bait to get us to watch the other movies, its almost INSULTING how incredibly obvious it is. Last movie ended with gennai fucking around and choking meiko. Then, as i saw my fat ass down in the chair, waiting for the big battle, no meicoo just...opened portals and then left with her copy paste army. Oh well so much for that. 

Then the digidestined actually FALL OUT OF THE DIGITAL WORLD, and they are right back to standing around and getting chased by the cops...and then they spend THE REST OF THE EPISODES on meikos useless crying and baiting for meichi shipping material. im sorry but was that neccecary? was it neccecary to stop the entire god damn movie just so we could have tai standing there with spaghetti falling out of his pockets? and the mega evolutions for the other digimons felt really rushed too, i had hoped for more build up...but guess i get fuck alll.

The filler.

Now i do enjoy myself a little “filler” once in a while, i wont lie. and i will also not lie when i say that i really enjoyed seeing my boi tais hot nipple-less body. But, again…. DID WE NEED THE FIRST HALF BEING JUST THAT?! i swear to fucking god if you cut out all the filler content from these movies your going to get the entire series down to 5 episodes. Movie 2 was just...filler. fucking filler. i didnt have much issue with movie 3 but they just NEEDED to shove more meiko in..

movie 4 was kind of a bitch to sit trough because the whole damn “plot” made no sense. why was soras digimon the only one who was mad and while the others were just like before? why JUST her? why couldnt the others be like that too? Its just plot convenience at this point. and then it was pretty much just watching tai and matt spew spaghetti out of their pockets and be awkward because sora cant communicate with her friends like a normal person. Honestly it was a little charming at first but it got old pretty quickly…and then dark masters out of nowhere that died as fast as they came on. what a rushed little cameo for that extra nostalgia bait.

Honestly i found myself first liking the character interactions a little once the movies took a break from the action and fighting...but i much more often found myself angrily tapping my foot and going “REEEE MOVE ON.”

The god damn meiko.

Alright you all saw this one coming probably. Now let me just start by saying, i originally didnt mind meiko, or the idea of a new digitestined in the first place. Its welcoming to try and add something new to your otherwise soulless nostalgia cash grab. However we need to look at her from a critical stand point. im not trying to start a hate train, im just going to analyze her for how shes written as a character.

Im sorry to say this guys, but no matter how you look at her, shes a mary sue. Im sorry but all the tropes are there!! but why do i feel this way? heres why:

Her digimon is the sole reason for everything going to shit.

her digimon is in adult stage like gatomon just because.

essentially her digimon is “special”

all the other kids befriended her really fast just because.

everyone likes meiko and nobody seems to have a problem with her

shes the typical “uguu” shy type of girl.

her digimon OF COURSE won the costume contest in movie 2 or 3

leomon finds HER DIGIMON adorable enough to make the others run off... of course….

she cries constantly and does nothing but wine as the others hold her.

She takes up MAJORITY of the screentime for almost all movies. Almost.

POSSIBLY a relationship with the main character, if they actually are baiting us with those scenes in movie 5.

acts and feels like a self-insert OC in a canon universe.

The reason i dont like her is just because im SICK OF HER!! im sick of seeing her fucking face every god damn movie. im sick of the others shoving a friendship speech or talking about her belonging to them for the 700th GOD DAMN TIME, im sick of constantly hearing ME-MEI and MEIKOOOOOO, and im so fucking sick of seeing her sit down and cry or act sad and do NOTHING! shes just THERE TO BE THERE! her “cute little sneezing quirk” wasnt even something they bothered keeping any more. Shes so god damn obnoxious and shallow, and the ENTIRE HALF OF THE 5TH MOVIE WAS SPENT SHOVING MORE FRIENDSHIP SPEECHES IN HER FUCKING HEAD UNTIL SHE NUTTED UP AND STRAIGHT UP TOLD THE OTHERS TO AXE OFF MEICOOMON, while kari got 5 fucking minutes and got posessed or some shit i dont fucking know, does anyone care at this point?! 

shes such a god damn self insert its PAINFUL! and ive read plenty of crappy OC digimon fanfiction in my days to be able to tell when someone props their crappy OC in a canon story. IVE DONE IT MYSELF!! its INSULTING that im watching a canon produced digimon FANFICTION more then an actual OVA. If you like her, FINE, but you CANT ignore how incredibly shallow and flawed shes written. This isnt someone “hating female characters” this is someone whos frustrated a shittly written character who is just causing repetitive sob scenes over and over and over. im sorry but have we not gotten enough flashbacks from meiko and her digimon? do we need 4 more in the fifth movie??? WE GET IT! ITS SAD! SHES SAD!! THEY ARE FRIENDS! MOVE ON ALREADY!!

i dont feel bad for her anymore, its just getting repetitive now. She ate up the entire 5th movie and left nothing to kari but the sloppy leftovers at the end, and because she ran off like an idiot to meicoomon she got tai axed off too……………...but i will get to that.

The lack of animation.

The biggest insult, and this is….dare i say…….something coming from an animation student, is the insufferable animation. The first movie is fine, but from thereon, i feel like the quality dropped significantly. and oh boy, dont get me started on the amount of time they just pan a fucking picture instead of animating them doing shit.

im sorry but did i wait 4-6 months for a fucking clipshow? I know that animating is hard, and the animation industry in japan is absolute fucking shit, but come the fuck on guys. i think movie 5 had so many times where they just panned pictures of the digimon fighting, and the kids running. I guess when you put all your budget into overanimating the short action scenes you got, you dont have much left for them to trow a punch outside of that. and i wouldnt mind if they had just bothered not doing it so much. they do it WAY TOO OFTEN!

in the 4th move they didnt even fucking bother drawing the kids wet while they were in the water. no wet droopy hair, no indication the clothing was soaked, nothing. not a god damn fucking detail or anything.

The nostalgia bait

Hey kids, remember the bus in the digital world??? remember the gear desert? remember the house mimi was a princess in?? remember the pink forest? remember seadramon? remember the dark masters???? remember any of that shit!? remember primary village?! YEAH??? REMEMBER ALL THOSE COOL 01 THINGS??? ok cool, anyway moving on.

The lack of personality/soul

one thing im really passionate about is expressions. expressive characters and facial expressions i something i enjoy drawing a lot. in the original digimon, every character was spesifically designed to be its own thing. sure they stank of the 90s, but they wer UNIQUE. Digimon tri has trown all that shit out the window. Now they all look boring as hell. the only unique thing about them now is their hair. take that away, and you get a bunch of similar looking, boring samefaced characters.

the digimon movies are just so fucking SOULLESS! everyone looks so god damn watered down and tame compared to their former selves. everyone wears a school uniform even when they got summer vacation. they even wear school uniforms as they get to the digital world, and they have NO facial expressions. NONE! the way they talk and show emotions is almost nonexistant. even once they are seriously screaming at someone or focusing on something serious, they still have that stale, boring as shit facial expression. stone faced and COLD! its like you dont even care!! seriously its so frustrating to watch sometimes because they are so god damn bland and barely deviate at all from their typical “idle” face.

^count how many fucking times tai makes this face troughout the entire series. 

^am i the only one who thinks they looks very..bland and dull here? and this happens way too often.

seriously, watch the movies again and notice just how little the animators bothered giving them any fucking emotions. the screenshots here are just from a few minutes in the new movie.

And dont get me started on how everyone seemed so.........accepting of tais “death” i mean sure they might still be in shock,.....but......why did none of pic under appear???? 

WHy was everyone so.....noble??? except kari...who got....fucking owned.

and the digimon....most of them are just....comic relief now. i feel like most of them have little personality, but fucking agumon. what the FUCK have they done to agumon!? hes just a walking talking “i like to eat” joke. hes fucking nothinng. an empty boring sack of shit who just talks about food and NOTHING ELSE!! oh and maybe fights sometimes...but seriously.

The BAIT.

The trailers for these movies have made me fall into the bait they put out. But its getting infuriating now. All the trailer bait for movie 5 was just taken form the last 5 minutes of the film. that little teaser we all thought were going to show the dark ocean? yeah that was what….5 seconds at the very last minute of the movie? Hime was the one who went there, and they even rushed that part. 

remember when we all tought that tai was the kaiser because the animators thought they copy the excact same hairstyle? remember how they all baited us with the kaiser thinking we were gonna get some 02 action? i sure as FUCK do.

i LOVED the last minutes of the movies. i loved the last half of episode 3 and the entire episode 4… but im so fucking angry that i have to wait 4-6 months for the conclusion to when the movie was JUST GETTING INTERESTING! i fucking hate it!!

The 02 kids, or lack thereof.

Ok honestly ive completely forgotten about them, and i dont understand why they bothered putting them in this movie. and they give us absolutly nothing to go on for ALL of the movies! WHY? WHATS THE POINT?! with this series endless stalling, how can they possibly explain their absence or death or whatever in what little time we have left?! how will they half ass this?! i seriously dont get how they can begin with something so intense, only to give us absolutly nothing till the last movie, IF AT ALL!

Taichis “””””””””””””””””death.”””””””””””””””””

So the fuckers had the BALLS to kill off my boi tai. They actually went there. they fucking killed him off. AND LEFT IT ON A CLIFFHANGER! wow fucking good job guys, you sure got me there. i cant believe tai is fucking dead.

except wait a second here…..tai isnt dead. of course he fucking isnt. i mean come the fuck on, are you really expecting them to kill off their marketig king? the face of all their merc? PLEASE! we all fucking know that hes going to come back. THEY BASICALLY SPOILED THE MOVIES FOR US ALREADY, didnt they say in an interview far back that these movies were whats going to lead everyone up to their careers? so why the fuck would tai die when we know hes going to be an ambassador? 

i dont fucking understand why they even bothered with this fake ass death. WE KNOW HES GOING TO COME BACK! im not mad that tai “died,” im mad that they actually bothered making it a cliffhanger, as if we arent going to fucking figure out hes coming back in the next movie. WHATS THE POINT?! Are they going to just shove him off till the last 5 minutes of the last movie? is that it? are they going to do what they did to kari? or are we FINALLY going to see tai resolving his persional issues that have been shoved away to make room for everything else? who knows, who cares at this point?!

The conclusion

Digimon tri was something enjoyable for me to look forward to..but now, its just a bunch of frustrating, medicore, nostalgia cash-grabbing shitfests of movies, and i need to get it out of my system. 

Im angry because i have to wait 4-6 months between each movie only to get nothing. im angry that i have to wait 4-6 months for an hour long movie that has actual content thats 20 minutes long. im sick of having my excpectations set to low, only for them to be lowered even more. im sick of seeing meiko basically becoming the main characters as the others are somewhat side characters at this point. im sick of the shit-tier animation quality and the stone-bored dull surprise faces. im sick of wanting this to be good, only to see that the fucking directors and animators arent even fucking trying anymore. Im sad, that the sequel was put in the hands of incompetent fucks who only know digimon trough their most basic character traits, and nothing more.

i do like tri...and im sad to see it go so soon….but part of me wants to get this over with, because if you like it or not, tri isnt a passionate fan sequel. tri is a boring, mediocre cash grab, and im sad it cantt be more then that, and im sad its over soon...