#i wasnt even on that team but im a little sad

[ballpit-bakery]

the jammers are rioting in the streets because AJHG added a way to get money fast and everyone was upset that the half n half system cost them the darkside win and maybe Club Geoz

[dire-vulture]

omg in the picture i did yesterday I had planned to include a few more dragons before deciding four dragons in one picture was more than enough, but i still felt like doodling these guys so here they are! the world needed to see a coatl in a bikini dfdsfg

my veilspun Samascott is still just in his normal hoodie...he's a gamer he doesnt need the sun shining on his scales

[nyx-is-missing]

Graceland too

Clarisse la rue x fem!reader (Athena's kid)

Sumarry: When a certain daughter of Athena felt unappreciated her whole life, someone was there to see her.

Warnings: Sad girl hours, shitty parenthood, hurt/comfort because im no monster and probably other things wich i forgot.

a/n: look who is back!

Demigod.

Half blood.

Half a goddess.

Half a human (?).

And yet, fully a disappointment.

When Athena sent me to my Dad's house, in a golden crib, dressed in pure white dress, glowing, how the myths would expect a demigod to be, then, and only right then i was a gift.

A piece o divine love, something to prove to him, till the end of his life, that at some point, he was good enough for a Goddess.

But days after, immediately, i was just a crying baby, hungry, with a busy father, without a mother, and that only made him remember that, that was it.

He wasnt good enough for her, she wasnt staying, she never even actually even considered, he would never have that kind of honour, only a crying baby he never expected.

I wasnt a gift anymore, it actually felt like i was a insult, everything about me started to enrage him.

And oh, how did he reminded me of that every single day of my existence.

When i got diagnosed with dyslexia all i've heard whas that Athena gave me up to him because i was defective, when i couldnt sit still during classes, and exploded with all the repression i suffered everyday, suddently i was a clock bomb, when my grades where great, i was never rewarded, it was "the least i could do, to make up for the shame that i was".

I was never loved, never wanted, never encouraged, at least not by him.

The very little love i've known in my life, i own to the people who felt pitty of me.

The teachers, the neighbours who have heard the insults, the stray animals who could sense sadness, the very old grandparents who never actually saw me more than twice a year, and the people who worked at a nerby library, who let me stay past closing time, leaving only with the cleaners.

I was 12 when he had enough and sent me to camp, literally the very day school was over.

I came home to my clothes packed and him waiting by the car keys.

Being in camp for the first time, was also the very first time in my life i have ever felt....normal.

Not good, not bad, not great, not terrible, i was one, and that was enough.

I spend that summer being quiet, i sat in the corner, i didnt spoke, i didnt interrupted, i didnt had any ideas, i wasnt good enough to do that, thats what i've been told my whole life, thats my true.

It took a whole new summer for Athena to claim me.

I have always wondered if she was fighting with herself, if she had any problems having to admit that she made a mistake, with me, or with him.

It didn't matter, for the first time i had brothers and sisters, who wanted me, who understood when i wasnt the best, who asked for my graded tests, to put up in the wall.

They understood when i was hard to crack, when i insisted in being quiet, when i wouldnt share my ideas, they understood it all.

I didn't.

Each and every new summer i spent there, all i could ask myself was:

Why could i not be great like all of them?

Why im still afraid?

Why i was still useless?

Im now sixteen and the same questions still were unanswered.

And today i felt worse than ever.

It was my birthday, and i havent got a single letter from him, nothing, nothing.

It felt like he was saying i wasnt worth anything again.

Earlier, i tried to pretend nothing was happening, smiling with my siblings, finally making plans for capture the flag, finally belonging like i promissed i would try to do that year.

My plan was used, it wasnt perfect, but it was used, and surprising myself and the other team, we won.

I could see the other team confused, and Clarisse cussing us to death.

Still i was so happy, for the first time in my life i showed myself, and i worked....partially.

The happiness of victory didnt last much in me, because i saw a new brother of mine almost bursting to tears, he was young and just got claimed a few days ago, he wasnt used to that, and he wasnt supose to get hurt, but the red that painted his arms said otherwise.

I couldnt stare at him without feeling like i failed again.

Why couldnt i be perfect for once?

I took him to infirmary and held his hand while he was getting his stiches, saying sorry all the time.

I tried thinking it was okay, people get hurt, move on.

I had diner, i took a bath, i tried to sleep, i couldnt.

The tears were falling down and i knew i wouldn't be quiet.

So i got up and walked to the cabin's porch, sitting on the last step and letting my head fall to my knees.

Why couldnt i be great?

Why couldnt i be in peace with myself?

Why couldnt my mom bless me?

Why couldnt my dad love me?

Why did he had to be so mean?

I was a kid for fucks sake.

"Are you okay?" I heard someone saying, that made me freeze, that voice was not from any of my sisters, was i crying so hard i woke up someone from other cabin?

"I- yes, sorry i didn't knew i was crying so hard to wake people from other cabins, im sorry"

"You didn't, i was sneaking out to train some more, and saw you, our cabins face each other"

That was...Clarisse?

I wiped my tears and look up, she was staring at me with a almost worried look

"Clarisse?"

"Yes, why are you crying?"

She sat down by my side, dropping a sword in the grass.

"Its nothing really, im fine, you dont need to bothe-"

"No, cut the crap" she stopped me mid sentence "no one ever weeps in the middle of the night out of happiness, you are not fine and im not letting you lie OR leave until you tell me what it is"

We stare at each other, and ill need to thank the night light being bad because i probably look like crap right now, im sure my eyes are red, my nose too, im probably with a very swollen face and id bet all the dracmas i own that my hair its no better than a nest of birds.

"Go on...tell me"

I layed myself in the stairs, looking at the sky, trying to think of a way to tell everything, without sounding crazy

"I dont deserve to be here, Clarisse."

"Here..where?"

"This cabin, i dont deserve to be called daughter of the goddess of wisdom, i dont deserve being here with them, my siblings they are great, more than good, great, they will do great things with themselfs, amazing writers, architects, brilliant musicians, historians, why am i here? Im not even good, why im with the great?"

"Wait wait wait" she made me sit down again and look at her "not even good? What are you talking about? Wasnt the strategy in the last capture the flag yours? Yall won, and if somebody asks me later i've never said this but that was good, some really good strategy, i was almost thinking of asking chiron to switch you teams, you were great, more than that, and now you're here telling me you are not egen good? Are you on drugs?"

"Clarisse you dont need to pretend you care that much, and my plan wasnt all that, my brother got hurt, that wasnt supose to happen, i failed him, if i was good enough he wouldnt even be there"

She had a very confused look on her face, like she really did not knew what i was talking about.

"You're not talking about the little boy you took to the infirmary and that small cut in his forearm are you? Cause that boy was far from almost dying like you are making it sound like-" she looked at my eyes, i didnt needed a mirror to have sure how i was, i've seen myself like that too much to count, everytime my dad said i wasnt good enough, sad, lifeless.

"I failed again Clarisse, im not good enough to be here, im useless, worthless"

She looked at me and did the last thing i tought she would, Clarisse hugged me.

"Dont say that, c'mon, worthless? I've seen you fight, i've seen your plans, you dont talk much but i've heard your ideas, you are far from being useless or worthless, who the fuck told you that?"

"My f- you heard me?" I looked at her, only to see a look i couldnt distinguish "what do you mean?"

She looked at her own feet, then at her sword, reflecting the moonlight.

"You really dont know?" She looks at me "i- well, i've heard you, the same way i see you everyday, thats how i know you like morning walks, sweet green grapes, baked goods...how i know you are probably the only child of Athena who has never read "the art of war", that you walk without looking at peoples faces....its weird, i've seen you so much throughout this years and it feels like this is the first time you are actually seeing me"

"But i've saw you before-"

"Thats not what i was saying, you looked at me many times, but did you ever saw me until today?"

I looked at her blinking, and after a moment of silent i said "you like dark chocolate, and lemon flavoured soda, and sneaking out to train when the harpies take their breaks, by the way you missed that, and you always ask for double the quantity of food you eat, so when you burn it you still can eat enough, by the way i stole that idea-"

She is smilling, big, really big, i think i am too.

Of course i saw Clarisse, who wouldnt, she was strong, brave, beautiful, to me was a wonder she didnt had people running to get her attention.

She got closer to me "does that mean i can-" i stopped her mid sentence again

"Maybe..."

"Im going to make you forget that "im not good enough" nonsense, belive me"

She is smilling while kissing me, and i am too.

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

hello! i’m love your post and arts so much! I look at your posts after a hard day and my mood immediately changes to excellent. can I ask a couple of questions?

which pairing with Ethan do you prefer?

and… can we get to know you better? a little biography?

Thank you for your time! I'll be waiting for new arts! (sorry if i made mistakes, my english is not so good. im russian)

i like basically every ship with ethan! it mostly depends on the mood im in, but if im being honest, mithan, winterfield, and wintersberg gets frustrating to think about because they all dont treat ethan well canonically... lethan is fun because they have never met and i can make my own assumptions!

i used to like wintersberg the most and i still do like it, i just have expanded my horizons to other ships as well...., its mostly like a punchline to me though. they have the funniest potential which is why a majority of their posts is just joke comics. i do not like how people try to erase how karl is arrogant and egotistical tho. thats like removing the flavor.... the way karl acts is just very funny to me, hes so lame in a good way and i like how everytime he talks to ethan it sounds like hes twirling his hair and kicking his feet. canonically speaking, karl was very much in the wrong for trying to use rose and not elaborating and i will die on this hill. ethan is not in the wrong for being disgusted and angry that karl would ever try and propose that in the deal. karl is very arrogant so when ethan says no to him it makes him mad and he tries to use fear to get ethan to take his deal (kicking his chair and warning him) i like karl, i like how messed up and arrogant he is but i dislike how people try to portray him as a nice guy. however, in a AU where everythings the same except he doesnt try to use rose i do enjoy the dynamic they could have, especially if the teamed up (not with the deal where they use rose. ethan wouldnt agree unless karl never involved rose in the first place). karl is just a very entertaining character and i like him a lot, hes funny and his personality can be extremely hilarious

mia and ethan is pretty tragic and thinking about it too much makes me a bit sad, imo in a reality where ethan survives re8, he needs to divorce mia. im not saying ethan needs to hate mia and never talk to her again i just dont think they should be so intimate together because of her behavior... please do not take this as anti mia. they loved each other dearly but it wasnt healthy. their relationship was kept afloat by lies and mia doesnt change even though she deals with the consequences of her own actions in re7. she actively tries to hide her past from ethan and is mostly focused on trying to move on and have a normal life even if ethan will have to live the rest of his life in the dark.

she loves her family so much, shes very afraid of them leaving her so she hides all the bad things in the hopes that they wont leave. its selfish, its human, its real, her character is so amazing and i love her. she doesnt learn from re7 and hides important information from ethan again. i geniunly think they should have gotten divorced after re8 if ethan had survived. its tragic and its sad but they love each other so much. it sad because they both geniunly love rose so much but they themselves shouldnt be together. its just sad to think about it. whenever i draw them it usually takes place before re7. they should have divorced on good terms and shared custody of rose.........

ethan and chris is also frustrating to think about... chris is a major jerk in re8, whenever i draw it, its under a unspoken AU that chris did not behave the way he did in re8. his weird behavior in re8 is probably for a meta reason imo. capcom wanted to set up a twist villian so they make chris very vague and unesscarily cruel. while its frustrating that they turned chris into a jerk for the sake of a twist, it still happens in canon and i will forever roll my eyes whenever i see him on screen. he did what he thought was best but imo, execution matters more than the intentions. same applies to mia. they both did things that hurt ethan because they thought it would be the best but in the end they just hurt ethan.

all the ships ive discussed with people ethan has met canonically just makes it look like i dont even like the ships... LOL ... ethan just has horrible luck with the people he meets i guess... but i do enjoy the ships and drawing them, but again all of them come with the canon baggage that ends up making me sad because everyone treats ethan poorly whether they had good intentions or not

which is why leon and ethan is the most fun to draw without getting stressed... LOL... they have never met but just drawing what i think their dynamic would be like is very fun.

please dont take this post personally, this isnt a post declaring why ur fave ship sucks, this is just my own personal preferences and in the end i draw all of them anyways

if i had to rank the ships based on drawing silly comics it would be

wintersberg

mithan

lethan

winterfield

wintersberg has the funniest potential just because of karl and mithan can be funny if u water it down to "i love my wife so much" and said wife comes home with suspicious amounts of hard cash

i enjoy making joke comics far to much

if i were to rank the ships based on how healthy they would actually be for ethan it would be

lethan

winterfield, mithan, wintersberg (no particular order)

sorry 😭

leon and ethan have literally never met but imo it would still be the healthiest because ethan gets to start new

the three other ships r all unhealthy in some way, at least canonically without changing much about the characters (i do like winterfield but just because of how chris behaved in re8 it knocked them down)

i cant even rank them on personal preference because my opinion changes so often 😭 it changes based on discussions i have with my friends or recent art i see that inspires me... me and my friends recently had a discussion about mia and ethans relationship which made me very frustrated and sad with mia so i defiently wouldnt be drawing them anytime soon... meanwhile i hvae been talking to a friend who really likes winterfield often so the conversations we have give me art ideas and i end up drawing it more. if a friend of mine really enjoyed wintersberg or lethan and talked to me about it often id probably start drawing it more, the joys of being a multishipper

it changes a lot based on how im feeling and if im in the mood to draw something funny or something serious

sorry u asked a really simple question and i responded with a essay

and a little bit about myself is that i go by crumb, i am 18 and i go by all pronouns and prefer it/its

im vietnamese and live in texas

i made this tumblr acc solely so i could post my ethan art and im a re7/re8 girly so if ur here waiting for me to draw the re1-re6 characters im sorry u should probably expect nothing

i also make personal animations sometimes which u can find here

thanks for the ask and sorry for the rant!

[pitchcom]

soz if u guys arent here for this but these are MY personal grid A/B/O assignments + reasoning:

Max: alpha and i feel like i dont need to explain this one LOL

Checo: omega but i could be persuaded to see beta checo !! like take one long look into his beautiful big brown eyes n little freckles and motherly aura and tell me you dont see it ….

Charles: controversial but …. alpha. omega charles truthers i see you. i love you and hold you dearly. but to me charles is just a softer alpha u know ?? but he still has the bite too him … like hes all sharp teeth grin n you KNOW its all casual with him but you cant help but fall in love w him anyways ….

Carlos: DOUBLY controversial but I AM AN OMEGA CARLOS TRUTHER !!!! like again. look into his big brown eyes n plush lips … look at his quotes about how he was “too soft” when he was younger n just wanted to be friends w everyone … i will die on this hill

Lando: TRIPLY CONTROVERSIAL but alpha lando scratches an itch in my brain actually !! like chest puffed bravado rookie lando wanting to prove himself bc people always assumed he wasnt an alpha … now mellowed cheeky alpha lando whose gone through 2 older omega teammates (spoilers for daniel LOL) and learned a lot from them …

Oscar: alpha but i could be persuaded to see beta !! idk hes just so chill. so unbothered. people assume hes a beta bc of his attitude but hes just been raised so that he literally does not care abt designations at all

Alex: beta but i could be persuaded to others … like this one is not solid solid to me ?? but hes genuinely just so chill with everyone on the grid that hes like a stabilizing force … a calming presence u know … even though he absolutely has the capacity to be teasing n silly

Logan: omega end of sentence. look into those sad eyes and miserable aura and tell me you do not want to bundle him up. hide him away whisper sweet things to him. he would love it too the frat boy logan-ers are lying to you …

Daniel: omega LOL i mean i can see alpha danny n would not necessarily be opposed to it but his kind of mentoring of max n lando … his wide eyed curly hair braces when he came into f1 … also honey badger nickname speaks omega to me. it whispered in my ear and i saw the vision of danny stuck with angry baby alpha max n the two slowly learning how to coexist abd slowly becoming one ot the closest people ever to each other

Yuki: i actually dont have a preference LOL i mean i think the whole “shorter/smaller person is an omega” thing is a tired trope so i feel i have a little predisposed bias against omega yuki BUT i am generally open to all designations for him

Fernando: I AM ALSO AN OMEGA NANDO TRUTHER i am too hung up on his twink days w the old grid to ever really see him as anything more then a conniving little omega who absolutely kicks ass and proves the haters wrong LOL. you love to see an omega whose a little feral out there. like go forth and cause mischief or something

Lance: i wanna say omega but i could be persuaded …. like look at him. plush hair big brown eyes with fluttery lashes pouty lips. hes a little spoiled thing like hes so cat coded to me. lanky ol omega who knows what he wants

Pierre: omega !!! i dont rlly have an explanation for this one it came to me in a vision BUT i love omega pierre … pretty little bratty omega …

Esteban: beta but generally open to all interpretations !! he seems so like neutral to me … like big lanky guy whose trying his best to stand out n get his moment in the sun but gets a little overshadowed by other stronger personalities …

Lewis: alpha 100%. again hes calmed hes mellowed but this man has the calm quiet “i know im the shit. what are you going to do about it?” alpha demeanor to me. like he absolutely tore it UP when he was younger n was brash n confident (and was not the best alpha) but after the nico situation and teaming w valterri he rlly had his eyes opened and now he’s just chilling

George: alpha but i could be persuaded to other points of view … like this man was crazy n dedicated enough to powerpoint present why he should be in mercedes 😭 i think that he is deffo like hyperaware of designations/tries to do his best by everyone in the paddock tho

Kevin: omega BUT i could be persuaded for beta kevin. no real explanation again but i am once again influenced by rookie kev and also his fatherhood

Nico: alpha or beta. again no real explanation for this he just gives off cocky would-be-an-asshole-if-you-didnt-know-him-well alpha vibes but in an uncle way. like the guy who likes to tease you but goes too far sometimes and doesnt rlly apologize for it

Valterri: beta through n through 🫡 again influenced by his stint at merc where he was the perfect second driver and was also brought in to help smooth over turbulent emotions that were left from the brocedes divorce and nicos subsequent retirement. definitely grew into himself a little more post merc tho and now gives no fucks about what people think abt him or his designation. viva la vida

Zhou: i wanna say alpha OR omega. my narrative is that he was a shy rookie who’s not super comfortable in his designation yet when he first debuts but as he spends more time with “no fucks given” valterri he slowly becomes more confident and comfortable in himself. thats it sorry zhou fans im not well versed in the zhou lore 😭

[malwaredykes]

ok. finished honest hearts. most of my inventory is plants and mushroom and Soups And Potions And Elixirs made from said plants and mushrooms. which is excellent.

the salt-upon-wounds confrontation was Tchruly garbo like. first of all they lit up ole josh before anyone even had the chance to say anything LOL that wasnt like Bad necessarily just rly funny. like yeah we can negotiate before anything breaks out *the camera pans to Jotchua Grams lifeless body on the pavement* but um second of all what the hell was that dialogue. "grrrr im gonna kill you" "[speech 75] no thats stupid. dont" "umm okei :) but i'll be back >:(" *runs away* Like. man. listen. throughout the entire dlc i Did Not want to be fighting all those white legs lol. i didnt know those people. you know i generally hate the Hostile By Default Irredeemable Canon Fodder Raiders crap and in this case its just especially egregious to me, with them being a Tribe and with me being some random ass normie strolling into the area getting instructed by the local white saviors. like, okay, since i Was getting involved, then if anyone deserved to Feel The Judgment Of Mine fall upon them it was in fact salt-upon-wounds with his track record of being a horrible fucking person. so i had to fight my way through all those white legs only for the Problem Guy to be like "Hm Okay. Deal. You Leave Forever And I Get To Live. Sounds Good. Sucker" like. fuck no. youre dead. this is for waking clouds husband how DARE you make my bald queen SAD

which btw i did encourage cloud to get mad at daniel for hiding that from her. like yeah girl dont take this shit from him. youre allowed to feel angry. who does he think he is. making decisions for the sorrows like youre all children. be mad at him. chase him out. tell him to never show his stinky mug around these parts. If You Want. ahh but then the ending slides said she forgave him.... well i suppose i have to respect her choice... but... cloud honey if you ever wanna team up and chase daniels stinky mug far away just give me a call

i also encouraged follows-chalk to go out there and experience the world outside... i really hated how he felt obligated to ask joshua permission, and how joshua was like Well 🥺 I wont tell him what to do but 🥺 Is it wise... I just worry about my foolish little lamb 🥺... like. Shut Uuuupppp.... chalk is an adult. i think. either way what do You know. jotchua. last time you ventured into The Civilized Lands (lol) you were a fucked up genocide army general so forgive me for thinking you might not have the most objective and up to date outlook here. Anyway. chalk come hang out sometime. come to the lucky 38. youll meet my epic swag friends and family. LOL bit of an aside but (mostly so i dont become insane because of the dlcs writing) i like to imagine that most of the time chalk expresses incredulity about some Civilized World Concept like gambling (-_-) or big dams or big weapons, hes literally fucking with you. like hes joking around. he used to mess with daniel and jotchua like that and now hes doing it with you. like Wow... How Strange... You Say It Is Called A... "Window".... 😂😂😂...

loving how the ending slides barely mentioned joshua also. like wtf happened to him. who knows. damn maybe he did die and i didnt even notice. im sorry jotchua. may your soul quickly find its way to NOWHERE lol #owned

final verdict: waking-cloud and follows-chalk are great, joshua graham is an extremely funny character, daniel is nothing to me, the area is cool, the plot is dumb as hell, the whole thing is racist, the quests are boring. 3/10

[thisismeracing]

ok wait i just got really sad thinking about bonnington!reader x mick

since she grew up in the merc garage she would've been around when michael was on the team

and he was the one to help break her out of her shell a bit, having experience with raising mick

and her nickname "our little aerodynamicist" that the merc crew refer to her as came from him

because she was always shadowing the aerodynamics team when bono knew she was accounted and taken care of if he wasnt the one watching her

he probably wouldve suggested bringing the two of them out to switzerland to spend time with his family, but with all the busy schedules it never happened

she probably called him uncle michael because he always volunteered to watch her when he was done with his jobs for the day but bono was still busy

she probably was a reminder of his own kids at home, the one to keep him tethered to his family and his kids while he ventured in this return to racing

his accident wouldve crushed her when she found out because that was the first really big loss she experienced in her life, even though he didnt die

and her second wouldve probably been niki lauda

because niki wouldve probably been a grand father figure to her

she got to experience life with these two great figures and now theyre gone

the two of them would've taught her the life lesson [stolen from bluey i dont care]: that special people come into your life, stay for a bit, and go

fuck im crying

i cant write anymore

☕

omgggg <3 though I don't write things that mention michael, I can totally see this scenario, and let me tell you- *teary eyes emoji* this thing about a possible meeting that never happened and then their meeting finally happening years after as adults is so soul mate coded and I love it

her a niki too!! aaaaa :(

She would probably see Lewis as a brother too, seeing as when he got to merc she was still a kid just getting into her early teenage years - he totally shaped her music taste, I just know it.

Also, toto and susie just love her, and will add her to some family trips because cmon they saw her when she was jack's age, at this point she's like an older sister (and you can bet bono will get a bit jealous about it sometimes)

NOT THE BLUEY LESSON :´) I love it

[laesas]

Hiiiii anon <3

I think Boun and Prem are doing a stellar job with what theyve been given, and they do manage to create some moments of decent chemistry, but between the masses of filler plot, the character choices and the objectively awful editing, the show feels like it’s limping along.

I’m also just getting more and more upset with how inconsistent Team’s characterisation is. One minute he’s pinning Win to a locker, or doing bits in a restroom at a bar and at least reciprocating somewhat, and the next he’s cringing and blushing and whining whenever Win flirts with him in the typical seme-uke dynamic that WinTeam were meant to break. The show started so strong with the longing looks and Team’s cheeky dismissals of Win’s flirting and now that’s all gone and we’re left with “P’Deaaaan” 2.0: “Hiiaaaaaaaaa”.

I’m gonna finish it. For BounPrem. But unless it picks up in the final stretch (🤞) I have a feeling I’ll partly be relieved that it’s over.

your post about between us Saaaaame. the way I enjoy bounprem/winteam as actors and characters so much and their chemistry but everytime I watch an ep I'm just like 'I should drop this' I HATE IT

i think this was meant for my wife @aikinn ! i haven't posted about between us today (though i agree with her post, and this lol)

[adidegmez]

spn s15 spoilers

s15 ep1(back and to the future)

one last time, the road so far. the demon is funny. i love big brother dean. their lat scene was awesome. we got work to do, this Show is going to kill me. this is the last season. their story will end. probably with a sad ending. i dont want to say goodbye.

s15 ep2(raising hell)

ketch! hi ketch. he knows how to make an enterance. rowena and ketch? rowena cared about jack. amara, i didnt think we would see her. kevin, ive missed you. where is jack, he was in the empty what is he doing now? we started saying goodbyes with kevin. and this will go on. i hate goodbyes.

s15 ep3(the rupture)

i miss crowley. ketch died. They're slowly removing everyone from the story. We're nearing the end. and now rowena. rowena is complicated, i love her. i thought rowena would want sam to kill her so that she could e the queen of hell or something like that. maybe she can return as queen of ell that would e nice. adam is still in the cage. dean, why are you so mad at cas? cant you forgive him? i wouldnt want their story to and like this but dean sam and cas theyre alive. there are 17 eps left. things will go bad. i hope they can get a happy ending, i hope they will all live but i dont think they will.

s15 ep4(atomic monsters)

i thought i saw benny. we got him and lost him in a minute. dean is gorgeous(i had to say it, he is always gorgeous). i love seeing deans smile, sam and cas too but dean is different, he is my favorite. becky, wow, she has a family? i would love to see team free will just doing laundry and talking with eachother without worrying about monsters. im happy for becky. becky youre gonna ruin winchesters life. poor boy it wasnt his fault but if he cant control it he has to die. if only there could be another way. Did Jensen sing the song? If anyone knows the name of the song, can you tell me? dean is hopeful we need that but Chuck is not gone. and he is going to ruin things. he will make the winchesters suffer, just because he enjoys it and doesnt like the winchesters anymore. and thats why i hate him

s15 ep5(proverbs 17:3)

why is sam having those dreams? is Chuck messing with his head? everyone is confused about deans pictures but he looks the same maybe a little bit older but same look. he even has the same hair. sam is the one WHO changed he look very different especially his hair. that doesnt make any sense everyone is suprised at deans not sams? lilith?!! only thing thet can kill the god (except jack i think) is gone. nice there is a link they can use that link. you were never free dean. i wish amara ould help them. maybe se will help them. but they need jack.

s15 ep6(golden time)

now eileen. Chuck is trying to break the winchesters. Dean doesn't seem to care because he's tired of playing Chuck's games and there doesn't seem to be any way they can beat Chuck right now. If they can find a way, Dean will go back to his old self. and they will beat Chuck. together, team free will (2.0 maybe jack will come too). what happened to banes twins. will we see them again? eileen is okay. well at least we have one good thing. Chuck is messing with cas now.

s15 ep7(last call)

dean is amazing, jensen is amazing. i love when he sings. he was happy at that bar, i love seeing him happy. it was good to see him happy in this last season, i hope we can see them happy more. sam cant die. they can beat Chuck but they still need help(maybe jack can help them)

s15 ep8(our father, who aren't in heaven)

they finally remembered adam. i love donatello but i miss kevin. hello rowena! i miss crowley, im glad she is the one whos in charge. i love rowena. adam is out of the cage. eileen and sam could be together. Chuck will kill eileen, right? Dean, you shouldn't still be mad at Cas, we're getting close to the end and you two shouldn't stay on bad terms anymore. i want jack back, when is he coming? okay, i hate Chuck. i used to love him when he was just a prophet but as god no i dont like him. he just watched all of them suffer and enjoyed it. and he is stil hurting them. he is a monster. i like this Michael. thanks to cage and adam he is better now. adam is in a better situation than the others. purgatory, i hope we can at least see benny.

s15 ep9(the trap)

of course chuck was behind all of this. benny is dead. when someone dies in purgatory where would they go? i thought they would born again in purgatory. dean finally forgave cas. No, this ending definitely wouldn't happen. Even if Sam and Dean had turned into monsters, they wouldn't have become monsters. They wouldn't have fought Bobby and Jody. They would have let them kill themselves. Cas is getting the mark. I hope this doesn't end badly like Dean's. jack!!! yes. why is billie doing this? idc Shell bring jack back. and he'll beat god. how can the light be bad? if hes bad, how can there be balance?

s15 ep10(the heroes' journey)

do they have bad luck or something? its Chuck isnt it? i heard some people say, garth didnt named his kid dean because he knew sam would name his kid dean and this makes sense to me. at least nothing bad happened to garth and his family. yeah they cant be normal. it was funny to see them like that but this isnt WHO they are.

s15 ep11(the gamblers)

hi jack! you finally came. my heroes. they are going to save the World. with cas and jack.

s15 ep12(galaxy brain)

I had forgotten about Kaia. Jack now has powers but he won't be able to use them. Kaia will be a problem. i hate Chuck. he is bored so he is destroying worlds. he needs to go. i loved old dean more.

s15 ep13(destiny's child)

when i watched about scoobynatural, i thought team would travel through different universes. for at least one season we couldve just watch them travel have fun save people but no they cant have fun more than one episode. if someone would help jack he can rule instead of Chuck. jack doesnt have a soul but he is good. i wish he had his soul. i loved meg. jack got his soul back, finally.

s15 ep14(last holiday)

i love deans reaction. cant they live like this? they are happy. of course they cant, Chuck wouldnt let that happen. Jack began to speak his father's language:) . dean, the birthday cake was nice. i love them.

s15 ep15(gimme shelter)

dean lied again.first to other kaia now amara. i hope he can keep his promise so he wouldnt be lying. jack will sacrifice himself. hopefully cas will find a way.

s15 ep16(drag me away (from you))

i hate seeing winchesters fight, especially when it's so close to the end. I hope they can be back to normal before this is all over.

s15 ep17(unity)

jack's not family? dean how could you say that he is your kid, he is a winchester. i love amara. i hope jack and amara can spend time with eachother. i hate Chuck. he manipulates everyone. it was Chuck all along. if only dean didnt lie to amara. she was nice she was trying to help but now she is dead. now jack is dying again.

s15 ep18(despair)

i want to say jack cant die but i cant be sure of anything. the story is ending in 3 episodes. billie didnt change she always wanted this. okay jack is alive nice. since this is the ep i can say it. cas will die in this ep and i know it. i knew it for a while i hoped this day would never come but here we are. this will be the day i learn this storys ending. i hate billie too. billie left her toy. does that mean theyll reap god and hell die like that and billie read it so she left the weapon to kill Chuck. i love Charlie. she was happy. eileen is gone. i thought maybe she and sam could be together. i love donna. i love garth. i love jody and the girls. i love bobby. Charlie bobby donna i thought they were safe, theyre gone now. i know how this will end cas will summon empty it will kill death and cas. i hope this wont happen but it will. cas will die. their story will end. cas is gone. and he didnt day goodbye to sam and jack. he saved dean. cas is gone.

s15 ep19(inherit the earth)

what is happening to jack? how can they beat God? how can they win? i hate Chuck. he killed miracle. Michael! adam is gone too. i didnt think we would see Michael again. and i didnt think i would be happy to see him but i am. there may be hope yet. maybe they can do something together. i cant deans reaction to lucifer was funny but i cant laugh. he thought cas was alive he thought he came bak and it wasnt cas he saw lucifer. i never thought we would see lucifer. i love lucifer when he is not serious or when he isnt trying to end the World. so he is good for now. i hate lucifer again. yes! Michael killed lucifer, i cant believe it. Michael betrayed them. i liked him. i cant trust anyone but team free will 2.0. i hate Chuck. i would take that ending, i would. they won but hey lost everything but they won and theyre together except cas. there is still one ep left. and evertones back. this is not the perfect ending because cas is not here but its a good ending. if only it was the end. because they are alive. they live. this felt right but why is there another episode. i hope we just see them grow old and live their lives but we wont. i know we wont. i just wish we could. i dont want to watch next ep. i know that ep broke everyone. i know how it ends. but why this should have been the ending. this felt right it wasnt complete but it felt right. this couldve been the ending why make us suffer more? of course i dont want it to end but if the story ending i would want it to be like this. this i want to say perfect but its not cas is gone but it was okay. im not ready to watch the next ep. but here we go one last ep. their story is ending here.

s15 ep20(carry on)

what happened to carry on? why didnt it play. i wanted just one thing i hope it at least plays in the end. im okay with just wathing them live their life without a big bad guy or something. why? why? why? it was always sam and dean, always. why end it like that? they were happy they were together they were both alive. i dont want to say it but dean is gone. sam is alone. bobby, hi! cas is alive?! that what they deserved as heaven. but dean shouldve had more time with sam. but im not going to complain they all can be together again. tahnks to jack and cas. yes this ending break me but it was beautiful. in the end they are happy and they are together forever. i just wish we couldve seen at least cas and jack.

this story was beautiful 2 brothers together with the help of their frinds and family they saved the World. and they got the ending they deserved it was meant to be like this dean would die and sam would live for everyone WHO died. spn writers i think they gave us a gift with jack, they made heaven a good place they made heaven what it was meant to be. and thanks to them and jack winchesters and everyone we cared about is happy. anyway im glad i witnessed their story for 15 seasons i laughed and cried with them. they mean so much to me all of them.

i dont want to say goodbye so this is a see you later because ill be seeing them. ill always remember them. i love all of them. i love dean sam cas jack bobby mary john kevin Charlie jody donna crowley rowena and the others WHO helped winchesters WHO loved winchesters.

im really happy im a part of this fandom. ill never leave here. im looking forward to see spn stuff. so

see you later

[pastanest]

if you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post. I was able to retrieve this thanks to @rosieathena - thanks so much!! ♡

Spencer Reid x she/her!reader

She’s In Love With You, Man

That particular morning was no different to any other. The sun was shining but there was a chill in the air, and Spencer arrived at work in the same way, at the same time as he did every other day. Even the frown on his face would have been considered normal, he often lost himself deep in thought and couldnt control the furrowing of his eyebrows. However, the determined strides Spencer took towards his good friend and coworker Derek Morgan, were a little out of sorts, and when he parted his lips and spoke, his friend knew this was not like any other day at all.

“Derek, how do I know if a girl likes me?”

Spencer asked, an innocent but firm question with so much weight and importance to the young genius. The weight had previously forced his gaze to the ground, but he lifted his eyes to observe the response, needing to absorb as much information as possible. To Spencer, this was essentially life or death, even if that saying was a little dramatic.

Derek dropped the folder that he was previously examining, it slapped the table as it fell, but he didnt seem to notice. His eyebrows had raised in shock and curiosity, and the small smile playing on his lips hinted at a sense of pride, Spencer deduced.

“Well, first of all, who’s the girl!?!”

It wasnt often that Spencer arrived at other people’s homes unannounced when he wasnt working, but JJ had accidentally left some important documents on her desk that she was planning to look over. She had left work in a rush, exclaiming that she had somebody waiting for her, and Spencer thought it best to deliver the documents to her as soon as he could. In his defence, he did try to call her, but she must have been on the phone to someone else, so he wasnt deliberately showing up unannounced. He knocked at her door feeling the awkwardness of this interaction consuming him in advance. JJ answered, much to Spencer’s relief, and upon seeing the folders in his hand JJ sighed with relief and ushered him inside.

“Thank you so much Spence, I was just looking for those! I had to get home quick, had an interview.”

Alarm bells rang in Spencer’s head “An interview? Are you leaving the BAU?” He tried to respectfully hide his sadness.

JJ laughed and shook her head “I wasnt the one being interviewed! C’mon, I’ll introduce you.”

This only made the entire situation more uncomfortable for Spencer, but he couldnt deny his own intrigue as his mind raced with potential conclusions as JJ led him through to the living room. Perhaps she was interviewing someone to join the team, or Hotch had asked her to interview a coworker he didnt trust, or-wait-didnt she mention last week that she needed a-

“Spencer, I’d like you to meet Henry’s new babysitter: (Y/N)!”

Derek spoke up again, noticing Spencer had zoned out at his question.

“Kid, who is she?”

Spencer shook his head to regain concentration on the conversation “Henry’s babysitter.”

Derek’s eyes widened, a wide smile overtaking his features “Oh my god, you have a crush on a babysitter!?! Tell me everything, right now!”

Beautiful. That was the first word that came to Spencer’s mind as he saw you sitting on the floor laughing with little Henry, who was running circles around you while you pretended to be an immobile monster trying to reach out and grab him. The smile on your face, the sound of your laughter, the fact that you hadnt yet clocked Spencer’s presence because you were so focussed on entertaining Henry - could you have made yourself appear any more perfect? It took Henry running up to Spencer and hugging his leg for you to acknowledge he’d entered the room, your eyes following the little boy and then trailing up to Spencer’s face and beaming up at him.

“Hi! Im (Y/N)! And judging by Henry’s immediate attachment to you, I’ll take a wild guess that you are the smart man Spencer who I’ve already heard so much about!”

He was struggling to find the words to speak, and even though his flustered state was well hidden and barely lasted more than a second, JJ noticed.

“Have you been talking about me, little man?” Spencer asked Henry, ruffling his hair endearingly before meeting your eyes again. “You guess correct! It’s nice to meet you.”

He reached out his hand to you, lowering himself because you were still sitting on the floor, and your smile widened as you leaned forward to shake his hand.

“We met when I delivered those documents to JJ’s door exactly three weeks and a day ago.” Spencer told Derek as he thought back to the first time he saw your face.

“And? What’s she like!?!“ Derek encouraged, desperate to draw out some more information from his friend about this mystery girl.

“Wonderful.” Spencer said simply, his eyes drifting back to a daydream.

“C’mon kid, you’ve gotta give me more than that!” Derek exclaimed, taking a mental note of the affect you have on Spencer just when he talked about you.

He met his friend’s eyes again and frowned in confusion. “What more can I say than every aspect of her existence is wonderful?”

It was blindingly obvious to JJ that you and Spencer had already clicked somehow, and although this was completely unplanned, she was always ready to play matchmaker for her good friend. Admittedly, she didnt know you very well. The two of you had spoken over the phone a few times before arranging an interview regarding the position as Henry’s babysitter, and you had spoken to Will too, of course. The extent of JJ’s conversations with you was enough to convince her you were perfect for the job, and this only became more apparent when she met you in person. This was all explained to Spencer very quickly when JJ dragged him to the kitchen to unload as much information about you as she could.

“So, do you like her?”

“It’s too early to tell realistically, but based on what I’ve already experienced...” Spencer couldnt help glancing at the doorway and smiling at the sound of your laugh from within the living room.

“Oh my gosh! This is great!” JJ clasped her hands excitedly, going quiet as she conjured up a plan, setting Spencer on edge. “Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do! Stay for dinner! Start coming over for dinner every week on this day, and act like it’s something we’ve always done because we’re good friends! (Y/N) is babysitting Henry every weekday from 7:30am-5pm officially, but she’s considerate of my work hours and sometimes she’ll stay for dinner with us and just hang out. So, you can stay for dinner as an excuse to spend time with her!”

Spencer’s head was spinning, he didnt know what to say, but JJ didnt need a response, she’d already decided that he had agreed. He was somewhat glad of that.

“You’ve seen her once a week for three weeks and havent told me!?!” Derek sounded offended. Sure, he often spoke of his adventures with women, but they were never as innocent as Spencer’s experiences with you.

“I’ve seen her more than that. Every Thursday I’ve stayed for dinner, but on particular days in between - such as Monday and Wednesday on the second week, then this week on Tuesday and today - JJ has found an excuse for me to come over. Sometimes it’s to ‘help with a case’, sometimes she deliberately leaves one of her belongings on her desk for me to find and bring to her house.”

“Damn, JJ’s been doing some real matchmaking! How has (Y/N) reacted every time you’ve showed up?”

That smile. Spencer could never recover from it. You smiled a lot, you were a smiley person, and every smile was undoubtedly beautiful, but the smile you gave him? That was different. You lit up the moment he walked into a room. You were always happy to talk to him about anything and everything, but your focus never strayed from Henry, which Spencer admired so much more than you realised. He had seen you that day, and when you walked into the room holding Henry’s hand, you gasped.

“Look Henry! It’s our best friend!”

Spencer’s heart skipped a beat at that. The two of you had been getting increasingly more flirtatious with every occasion you saw each other. And in the middle of dinner, when Henry ran to you with a drawing in his hand, you blushed at the sight of it and said:

“Oh wow Henry, that’s amazing! Go show Spencer!”

The little boy ran to Spencer to show him, and he saw exactly why you’d blushed. Henry had drawn two stick people, which he realised were himself and you, getting married.

“Henry! How did you know what I’ve been dreaming about!?!” Spencer winked at you from across the table, Henry and JJ laughing while you bashfully pretended to blow Spencer a kiss.

“She’s in love with you, man.”

This was the first time Derek has referred to Spencer as a man rather than a kid. Although he didnt use ‘kid’ in a patronising way, Spencer found that it instilled him with newfound confidence to know that the relationship he was forming with you had shown Derek that he actually has some game. The weight of Derek’s statement suddenly hit the curly haired vessel of knowledge, and he felt himself shiver.

“How can you be so sure?”

Spencer expected a comically backhanded compliment in response to his question, but that is far from what he got.

“You’re a man of facts, you would never be so open about falling for someone unless some part of you, even if it’s subconscious, knows she likes you back and there’s a chance of it working between you.”

Spencer thought about this, and he couldnt help but agree.

“What do I do?” The genius asked cluelessly.

Derek rolled his eyes playfully, as if the answer was obvious. “Ask her out man!”

Spencer continued his clueless plea. “How do I do that!?!”

Derek sighed pleasantly. “From what you’ve said, she likes you exactly as you are, so you wont need any extravagant plan to win her over. Just be yourself.”

As blissful as it was to think that you liked Spencer exactly as he was, hearing this didnt help him in terms of confidence towards how to ask you out.

It was then, the office doors swung open, and there you stood, holding Henry on your hip, him clutching a lunchbox in his hands.

“Mommy forgot her lunch!” You chuckled, placing Henry on the floor and letting him run to JJ, who had just walked out of Penelope’s office.

You wandered over to Spencer, and Derek pretended to be distracted by the folder he had just picked back up, he walked away from you as though truly focussed on what he was reading.

“Hey Spencer! How are you-“

“WouldYouLikeToGoOnADateWithMe?” Spencer blurted out, cutting off your attempt at small talk.

“What?” You asked, unable to understand what he’d said.

Spencer sighed and hung his head, his moment of confidence gone.

“Would you...like to go on a date...with me?”

He waited for your reply, but he heard nothing, and his heart sank. With a final shred of hope, Spencer lifted his head to meet your gaze, and then he saw that smile, just for a second before you parted your lips.

“Yes.”

[tojisun]

(sorry from a hockey noob) can you explain the hughes post you reblogged? it feels angsty but i dont know enough about hockey to get it:,(

hii of course :3 and u dont have to say sorry my love :((

i think all of the photos used in this edit were from game 7 of canucks vs oilers in may 20th. the canucks lost then, and thus were eliminated from the playoffs; they didnt advance to the semis

the lyrics match the legacy of the canucks who had such a bad run in the previous seasons and had surprised everyone this season with such an amazing performance. their coach even said, “[canucks] put respect back in that jersey and in this city.”

that said, they still lost, thus the edit 🥹

too much rambling under the cut so u can honestly ignore this

the lyrics used are particularly fitting bc of canucks’ recent history (specifically post-2011). they went from a powerhouse (still with off-moments, of course) to a struggling team (dramatic decrease in chances of advancing). there were so many shuffling and trading between players and staff, and canucks was quite literally burning for a while. thats not to say that there are no good players because there are, but the team struggled so much

come 2023-2024 season with quinn hughes (#43) as the captain. (just as a background: he is the 15th captain of the canucks, the youngest active captain so far, and the first defenceman to be the captain in decades. he’s also the first american-born captain of canucks.)

after three consecutive seasons where they failed in making it to the playoffs, hockey and canucks fans had no high expectations this season for canucks. that doesn’t mean no one watches them, but it wasn’t as fervid. then they finished first in the pacific division, advancing in the playoffs

and not just advancing, but it meant they were the highest to be qualified to advance. it was big. i remember coming back home from work, hearing actual celebrations by rogers arena bc honest to god no one expected this turn of events, especially after such tough consecutive seasons years prior

then the playoffs games, and i swear this team is cursed somehow. not only one but two of their goaltenders were injured. demko (#35) is their main goaltender but he was injured in a game and had his season ended just like that. desmith (#29) subbed in but this guy also got injured during the season!! so you know what canucks did? they went and grabbed silovs (#31) who was playing most of the 2023-2024 season for abbotsford canucks in the ahl games (kind of the juniors of the nhl) because v.canucks ran out of seasoned goaltenders

(silovs is good. really really good. no shocker there bc he was named the mvp for the worlds championship; it was the first time that latvia won the worlds in first place)

one of their powerful forwards, boeser (#6) was also injured in this season during a clutch moment—he played until game 6 against the oilers but was, unfortunately, too injured to advance to game 7.

despite these piling injuries, canucks’ plays this season was electric. they made miracles happen—often by turning the tides to their favour at the very last minute. it’s how they won against nashville predators and how they had hoped to win against edmonton oilers

but it was not enough so in game 7, may 20th, vancouver canucks lost 3-2. (game 6 was devastating; 1-5). the best of 7 fell to the oilers so they were the ones who advanced

it was honestly so heartbreaking. hughes himself even said that the loss felt so abrupt that he couldnt even think about hockey for a while. it was just sad. boeser even piped in how he was wondering what wouldve changed if he wasnt injured, and that the loss in game 7 felt personal to him. its…

yea

god im so sorry i rambled. im full of little things ik abt this man and this team but all the ppl i talk to know it already so i kinda. exploded on u 😭

hope this, uh, answered ur question

[voidwritesstuff]

Long Way To The Truth

->cw: angst,mentions of ptsd, your usual Lucas stuff.

->chapter three: Arkansas pt2// Oklahoma.

->reblogs over likes.

A little weirded out,he packs up his stuff and leaves. The road before him its still pretty wet,so he drives slowly and taking Wheelers advice.

He could afford to take the day slow,to relax,just this once.

Most of the trip across Arkansans is pretty calm, just towns and towns. Some nice people,some mildly annoying ones,but its as normal as his trip could get.

The most interesting thing he had during the trip was while he was taking a break from Driving. The heat is not that bad at that moment, hes sitting on the floor of his van with a guitar in hand.

Said guitar wasnt his,it was Wheeler's. He was going to be their band's guitarist,it did go to wheeler's head for a few days, and he was a goddamn menace about It. He spent days bragging about how he would get all the chicks and leave the others with none. (To which Lucas would reply that the jokes on him because Lucas himself is Bisexual).

Regardless, he sits on the floor of the van,leaning Back on some of his bags and boxes and he starts to strum what few chords he remembers.

The strumming continues for a bit as his thoughts swirl to the beat of the song. Hes composed a few of songs before,kept them all to himself.

But around him theres not that Many people only the passing cars of the road, no-one is paying attention to him.

So,it Beggins in a humm,tuning his voice to the chords. He takes a deep breath and...

--See me and the boys

We got plans for what comes later

After the war

Got names for a band

And jobs for each other-- he sings,looking at his Journal,Open beside him where he has a picture of him and his Friends.

He was the youngest of his team, the platoon's Child that Wheeler fawned over like a mother hen. Even if his captain denied any favoritism, it was clear as day that if anything happened to Lucas,Alphonso wouldve totally commited a few war crimes.

--so,do you have any children?-- Lucas asked Alphonso once while they Ate lunch.-- you seem like ya do

--Nah,me n my Lady are waitin' for me to come back home to try. Ion wanna lose my baby's first steps or words. --Wheeler answered, eating a bite from his food-- but honestly I think at this Point we might as well adopt you

Lucas chuckles,a little embarassed but moved, he clears his throat trying to play it off-- c'mon Man,dont Rob me of the experience of being the cool uncle

--Fine fine I wont. On one condition-- his captains eyes had that look in his face, that mischevious glint that meant that he was going to thoroughly embarass him by being cheesy and sappy-- I get to be your best Man when you get married

The younger Man nodded-- deal,you better not embarass me infront of my future spouse though

--Cant make any promises,kiddo-- Alphonso replied with a teasing smirk.

God,those were the days.

--It feel really good, whoa

I'm crashing, I'm crashing down

Everyone's crashing

But as long as we're together-- he keeps singing, the memory sitting like a weight on his chest.

Maybe after this,he should check on Wheeler's wife,she was in a retirement home in Tennesee, he visited her during the anniversary of Wheeler's death and during the holidays,hes taken her to some of his family gatherings before.

To this day,she maintains that hes the son she and Alphonso never had, Hence why he has Wheeler's guitar and some of his memorabilia.

Anger,regret, sadness and grief pour from his voice as he sings each word,a little shaky and weak--Ooh, and the drummer plays

A beat too long and the whole damn song

Starts to fall apart

Ooh, by show of hands

The group disbands, and they won't be back

By popular demand 

"Im with you,every step of the way. Keep going,kid"

Those words echo in his mind, and it almost feels like Wheeler is showing him New chords he didnt know with the way that his fingers press down on different parts of the guitar's neck. They just sort of come to him.

Its like he can almost hear him say "Like this- no youre doing it wrong,that finger goes here. Atta boy"

--Believe it now, believe it then

As long as you believe it when

It comes knocking, it comes knocking for your friends

Between the times we used to spend

And now the feeling never bends

I noticed and I notice it again-- he sings,pouring his feelings into the dragging of the words. The strumming becomes a lot more fluid,Like an actual song hes played over,and over again.

He even gets a small Disney princess moment because a few of the critters like birds and squirrels get closer to him to hear what hes playing

But putting his feelings into words is really good for his anguish,it makes him feel a lot lighter and at ease with that constant maelstorm of unresolved issues. He eventually does put away the guitar and grabs his Journal,as much as it stings him je writes down a little item that says "get a therapist ( a good one)".

The only reason hes considering seeing a therapist again is because of Wheeler, he needs to take the reigns of his mental health somehow. The worlds huge,this country was huge, there has to be at least one therapist that Will hear him out.

Right after that,he resumes his Driving. And by nightfall hes already in Oklahoma,which does help him quite a bit with his anxiety.

During the night, he found himself a nice parkinglot to park,a little in the shadows of the streelights. Hes currently writing down on his Journal before going to bed.

"Diary entry #200.

Already in Oklahoma,im so sick of Driving so much. Theres still a few days until I reach Milton-Haven, but I also find myself enjoying the trip, havent been outside for this long in a good while.

It feels just like the hunting road trips me and my dad would do every year when I was a kid.

I think im going to find a room for the night tonight, despite the fact that I might need to sleep on the floor. But it would be great to not half freeze my ass for one night.

Regardless, heres my to do list for when I get to MH.

•find a place to stay.

•find a job (prefferably a quiet sort of job)

•research about Mayer and possible facilities they May own. (Visit town hall)

•find documents about AR.

• find a therapist (A good one)."

After that,he closes the Journal and goes to bed. Lately,as hes been able to think about his past and process it, hes had less run Ins with bad dreams and his PTSD related. He low key hates how actually confronting his emotions helps.

But regardless of that,his sleep goes uninterrupted, and Next morning he continued his trip after getting breakfast.

Nothing of note happens thruought the day. The night however does bring Lucas something interesting, as he entered the bar, he noted the stage was getting ready for a performance.

And as he eats dinner he can hear the supposed band members argue over him

--Goddamnit,He cancelled?--A guy asked,sounding exhasperated.

--Its the third time this week!-- a girl added-- explain to me where are we getting a damn drummer now?!

--We cant cancell this gig- I cant afford it-- another guy says.

Lucas sighs,scratching the back of his neck. Was he really going to do this? He could just nope out,not his circus not his monkeys. It would be exposing himself to a large crowd,there could be some goverment agent in there and-.

--I dont get why we even made this band in the first place! -- the girl said-- stupid fucking- I cant fucking belive it. Its a waste of damn time

Fine,fuck,guess hes doing this.

After he eats dinner,he goes to talk with the band. Telling them who he is and that hes good at drums,and in their desesparation the band accepts.

--Im isabell--says the girl-- im the vocalist of the Group, this is Leon, hes the bassist and this is Jay the guitarrist.

Lucas wouldve Flinched if he heard that a few days ago,but for some reason now hes a lot more at ease when the memory of Alphonso pops out.

--Nice to make yer acquaintance, what song are yall playin'?

Isabell scratches the back of her neck-- we're uh playing the Trooper by iron maiden

A smile appears on the face of the ex soldier-- neat,I know the chords to that song. I really like it actually

--Oh thank god-- the main singer exclaims-- de can go fix up the Seat for you n all, we gotta get ready anyway

--Sounds great, lets do it then

Lucas cant help but look at the main three of the band as they get ready and tune their instruments. He can tell theyve been Friends for a while because of the way they interact, he smiles fondly at the sight,wondering if him and his Friends wouldve been the same way if they ever did manage to form that band that they wanted to form.

Before the show,Isabell seems a little anxious as she warms up her voice, It makes him feel for her as she sits on the steps to the stage as she looks down with this fearful look in her eyes. on a whim he decided to sit with her and talk, see if he could help.

--Hey, whats up?-- he asked,putting a hand on her shoulder.

--Ah nothing- stage Fright. I always get it before every show- theres a lotta people in here and it makes me nervous-- she explains, passing her hands across her face-- the owner said that if we do good tonight, we'll become The Band of the bar. Its huge for us you know?

He nodds-- yeah I get that, seems quite daunting-- his hands reach to Grab the dog tags hidden underneath his flannel-- but yknow after a lifetime of well, war, i-ive realized something. No matter how scared you are- its better to just- just do it rather than running away

--How did you deal with the Fear?--She asked,eyes setting on the dogtags. She seems a little distracted from her anguish.

--beside just doing the damn thing even if I was shittin' myself internally?-- he asked, and at that she laughed and nodded-- had really good Friends-- he nodds towards her bandmates-- for..-for me it was my captain -- he takes a deep breath as he considers what hes about to do-- for you? Its leon and Jay, im a pretty observant guy and ive seen the way yall act together. Im sure those boys would follow you to the ends of the earth if you just asked. So dont be afraid to reach out- here,gimme your hand

A little curious and quite moved,she offers his hand as he takes off his dogtags and places them on her palm-- hopefully this helps, I have one of the tags of my captain on that chain. And since yer singing The Trooper, its only appropiate you have something army related.

Isabell smiles,putting on the dogtags. The weight of the metal is oddly soothing-- Thanks, Lucas.

He smiles and pats their back-- s'nuthin.-- he stands up and dusts himself off-- c'mon kid,lets get the show started -- he helps her up and smiles reassuringly.

Soon,the show starts. Lucas hits the drumsticks together, marking the beat of the song before he starts playing,leon and Jay join in and so the instrumental begins.

The vocalist presses her hand against the dogtags as she gets ready to sing, she feels the warm metal against her palm, takes a deep breath and looking upon the semi crowded room begins singing.

--You'll take my life, but I'll take yours too

You'll fire your musket, but I'll run you through

So when you're waiting for the next attack

You'd better stand, there's no turning back-- and damn, shes quite good at it. She follows along to the melody with no issue, her voice doesnt break or falter as the lyrics flow in the air like mist.

Lucas gets a smile on his face that grows bigger and bigger as the Group gets more and more into the song.

And he cant help but laugh internally at how impressed the crowd looks at the performance of the band. One dude looks particularly impressed, and he wonders If thats the owner of the gig.

--The horse, he sweats with fear, we break to run

The mighty roar of the Russian guns

And as we race towards the human wall

The screams of pain as my comrades fall-- isabell has put her soul into her singing, as if a siren was the vocalist of a metal band.

Theres a catharsis in the way theyre playing the song, especially for Lucas who can relate more than most to the lyrics. He doesnt hold back either and he plays as if nobody is watching, all he can hope for is that he doesnt break the drum set.

By the end of the show the crowd is a mess of cheering and screaming, Jay and Leon pick up their vocalist friend and sort of throws her up to then catch it again.

Isabell is all smiles as she talks to a man afterwards, the one he correctly guessed to be the owner.

In that moment he gets ready to leave, but as he makes his way to the van, the band stops him.

--Lucas hold on!--says Leon, running up to him.

--Hey yall, whats up?--He asked.

--Two things-- the vocalist girl says,outta breath, taking off the dogtags-- these and-

--You wanna be part of our band?--Jay asked Straight up,gaining a glare from his friends-- what?! You two were going to make a whole fanfarre over it. So id rather just ask

Lucas shifts his gaze between the three of them,pretty amused. He puts on his dogtags and answers-- ah im sorry,I cant. Im on a sort of moving to Washington,gonna visit an old friend while im at it and 'm already runnin' late.

--Shame-- Isabell answered, a little dissappinted-- but-but thank you,you literally saved us-

--S'nuth--the ex soldier doesnt finish his phrase before Isabell gives him a big tight hug. He hugs back a little confused but endeared.

--This band has been her dream-- leon explains once the girl pulls back from the embrace-- means a lot to her- to us. Even if we dont have any names for our band yet

--Well see that I can help with-- Lucas said with a smirk-- yall remind me of me and my war buddies, we talked about a band once and we wanted to call ourselves "the ragtags" 'cuz we came from all 'round the US. Since that bands never happening,i leave it up to yall youngsters to Carry the torch for me- us

The three look at eachother and nodd enthusiastically-- Will do,take care dude-- says leon,shaking Lucas' hand, so does Jay.

--You too,all of you -- he replied,to then adress isabell and say-- and you have one hell of a voice, by the way.

In that instant,isabell goes red as a tomato, to which Jay rolls his eyes a little. -- a uhm thanks, hey do you uhm m-

Jay and leon Grab their friend and slowly drags her away, she kicks and complains trying to get out of their grasp. --YOU ASSHOLES I WAS GONNA ASK FOR HIS NUMBER.

--Leave the guy alone!--Leon Shouts.

--HES GODDAMN CUTE. --isabell yells back.

Jay looks thoroughly embarassed and exclaims a quick-- SORRY--at Lucas before dragging her into the bar.

Lucas stands there mistified, a little flustered. --Yep,still got it-- he mutters with a smirk before grabbing his keys and getting into his van to drive to a motel nearby.

[alienaiver]

Who do you ship me with? (Don't automatically pick my favorites, please 😋) You can choose fandoms I don't know yet too.

ill go for some different fandoms !!!!

in bnha im going with......

sato rikido! i think your lovely nature would compliment his as well; and i bet he would do his absolute best to find alternative ways to bake something without sugar or any other ingredients so that you'd be able to ingest snd enjoy his baking!! he would loooove to try and bake tons of things. some of them would end up disappointing for you both, but he loves how you always find anything, even the tiniest thing to compliment; like the crust, or the consistency of the batter!!! he'd love date nights with cuddles and movies about the big questions of life with happy endings but that makes both of you sniffle a little during the sad parts. he'd be very flustered when you met his parents, and even tho its HIS own parents, you'd end up speaking for both of you during the dinner because hes just such a smiley, nervous wreck who nods and stutters !!!

for haikyuu.... that was a tough one solely because of all the lovely options! 👀 but i have to go with fukunaga shouhei !!! 🥺 he'd end up wooeing you with his dry but perfectly delivered jokes and nicely personal pick-up lines. he'd spend a long time making them personalized to impress you! in the beginning theyre a bit hit or miss, sometimes even accidentally insulting. but he ALWAYS makes up for it with a little silly choreographed dance and your favorite drink from the convenience store !!! its very precious and silly, and he completely fell for you when you delivered a witty pun to one of his jokes during a training camp. he was heart eyes for a while in secret (everyone on the team knew) before he decided to give it his shot!!!

im also assigning you a d. gray man husband !!!

this wasnt too hard actually, bcos i think youd make a really adorable pair! im pulling bak chang along, and he'd be a stumbling, stuttering mess introducing himself to you. he doesnt completely trust me that ive told only good things about him to you, because hes a silly goose with various (lazy) morales even tho he has such a high position. tho fret not, when needed he is a good branch chief!!

his dates are a little bit chaotic as he tries to woo you because of the nature of his job, but he never skips on any of the romantic tidbits! theyre just sometimes cut short. after he's successfully (at least he hopes theyve been grand enough to impress you) he spends a lot of time finding you secret hiding spots where he can just. be himself, comfortable and relaxed around you, talking about anything and nothing in particular. hes never had a normal childhood or youth or big experiences outside of the branch, so he enjoys listening to your story from the outside world and what mischief you mightve done as a kid. its a lovely change of pace for the both of you, and you love seeing this relaxed side of him, that he only shows you!!! hes not big on taking care of himself, but he will always make sure youre well fed, well rested and comfortable 🧡 (he even skips work if youre sick to take care of u!!! but he kidnaps you LMAO from the sick ward because otherwise won would find him there and drag him back to work 🤡)

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

hi im anon from (734828727660412928/npd-culture-is-deciding-to-give-up-on-friendships?source=share) (hopefully that link works, I don't use tumblr often so I'm not sure how to go about following up asks on anon). just came back to read this blog during a really bad crash im having right now because it cheers me up to know im not alone in having symptoms of this disorder and saw my ask got posted...

(update on friend situation) just today they said in the group chat theyre all drawing gift art for each other and other friends... i'm still waiting on the paid art from them but they're doing art trades and stuff for free so i feel kind of like trash. im a bit of a bleeding heart though so im gonna give them like one more month before telling them not to bother finishing the art for me... id love my money back because it did cost a LOT of money but i dont want to be a dick so im just going to express my disappointment by telling them not to worry about the commission at all. i want to feel like i have some right to be mad in this situation but im very soft hearted and dont really have any other friends so if i lost these friends id have literally nobody else in my life :( and that kinda feels like hell for me to think about... i feel like im being treated like dirt but im still going to go christmas shopping for them.............. even if i feel like shit, i feel shittier if i dont get people gifts and stuff because i just think to myself, like, "i feel like crap if nobody buys me shit for holidays or my fucking own birthday and i dont want other people to feel that way".....

also im feeling a little sad because whenever my friends talk about their friends they dont even refer to me by name theyll go "[friend a name], [friend b name] and oomfie are in our server" or something. im not even a name to them... i feel like the last kid picked on a team but not even the last pick. like have you guys ever been on a sports team and you kinda got awkwardly waved over to one of the teams because nobody even wanted to pick you? yeah.

i wonder if im just really dense and need to pick up on hints that people dont even want to be around me. i even tried to post this video game i started working on lately because i thought it was really interesting and cool and i put my soul into it but everyone just ignored it in the group chat.

i think the social outcast route is probably my best bet at this rate, i think. im going to be pretty fucking depressed about limiting my social interactions but i think the depression from isolation isnt as bad as getting constant narc crashes from people not putting even a tiny bit of energy into friendships. like.. i honestly am not asking for very much. i get fucking narc highs if someone uses my fucking name in a conversation. i get highs from literally the bare minimum fucking interaction of anything directed in my direction im so desperate....

i wasnt going to write up a follow up ask but i just wanted to say thanks to this blog for existing and making me feel like im not completely alone and thanks for the nice comments in the reblogs and tags, it cheered me up. you guys are really nice to me and i'm a complete stranger to you all, it makes me feel like theres some hope for nice people existing out there. im just a little too tired to carry on. thank you all, i hope you have a really good day. keep on surviving out there, it's not a kind world to any of us, and it's tough to stay alive at all.

(apologies for another vent but thanks for posting my asks <3 i wish you all the best and nice days to come. also sorry this isnt in the npd culture format, but i just rly wanted to say thank you for the support on the other ask)

sending hugs (with consent) nonny 🫂 i'm so sorry honestly you deserve way better than how your friends are treating you :( i hope at some point you can talk to them about how they're making you feel and improve the situation because it sounds like you deserve better

[franklinfinley]

Whoof.... LONG day today but I'm finally winding down.

1. NEW TEAMMATE ALERT! I was rudely awoken this morning before the sun was rising by a Beartic challenging a Cetitan over territory and i could have sworn it was charging for me. Yet another Life Flashed Before My Eyes moment. Gosh can i stop having those already. Anyway the Beartic lost and now his name is Arthur

2. Took on my first Team Star base, the Schedar Squad. It's... kind of sad I think? Mela is such a cool girl, and she has such potential within her, she just... fell into sunk cost I guess? I think beating her and taking her squad down really struck a chord with her. Cassiopeia even seemed upset about it. Bittersweet, at least? I feel like she's reconsidering this operation.

3. Had a picnic with Penny!! She's Cassiopeia's, like, errand boy for lack of a better word. And i guess she has some kind if smell or something? Idk but Koraidon LOVES HER for NO REASON. It would be adorable if she wasnt so afraid of getting crushed by him XD

4. SPARKY EVOLVED!!!!! HES A TOUGHBOY LUXIO NOW AND I SWEAR HIS EYES ARE EVEN REDDER. IF THAT WAS POSSIBLE

5. I was going to chalkenge Kofu's gyn but I'm not really feeling it right now, im FRAZZLED. Maybe tomorrow....

Now we are hanging out in the plains by Cascaraffa, got a tent pitched up and a table set out to get ready for dinner. We're right by the ledge dipping into the desert, so wind's blowing a little warmer than I'd feel like. Luckily Arthur knows Icy Wind. So we're winning

[imaginespazzi]

And we're back Bestie! Thanks for the patience while I recovered & got caught up w life.. I figured there wasnt much sense in providing a semi-coherent ask ha.

Ok so: First, it will make sense after reading but I so wish I could provide some pics for you via anon..

Went to the Sunday game. I didnt even ask to know in advance, but by chance the group/person that took responsibility for tickets to the game got seats a handful of rows up from behind the Dallas bench. I was just in disbelief w that given our jokes on the blog here. Our dear Lou is just so damn cute in person. And by every indication from that afternoon, an incredible teammate. Shes constantly supportive, super engaged, and you can tell things will come together for her before long on the court. Her being such a lovely professional didnt help lessen any appeal! 😣 Anywhooo it would be generous to say shot my shot Im afraid - but as luck would have it, there was a moment where she did a little happy dance spin around to the crowd when celebrating a teammates made 3 pointer (they led at this time) and ended up having genuine eye contact and a small smile back with me. So guess we can say there remains some small hope afloat for LouTea? Or at least argue that it wasnt an absolute failure by me on your behalf lol! My shy, yet somehow also overly confident self (maybe a certain attitude tends to come w being 5'2"?) will take it 🙈

So sitting where we did, actually found ourselves not far from Jacy Sheldons family who were at the game! Seemed nice, pretty quiet during the action. As a College WBB follower that was just kinda wild to me. And there was one other woman (maybe one more in the group) seemingly around Jacy's age w the fam in a custom top w her name, but I didnt recognize at a quick look. Dont think they were former teammate(s) though, so curious who they mightve been? Dont know much about JS off the court. Last but not least, a little down from me, I kid you not there was a woman wearing a VT Kitley jersey. I could only die laughing internally to myself, thinking of sharing this later. Not the most implausible place/location to see one tbf, but we honestly cant escape the OG lore!

Anyways the event was a great time all around. Highly recommend a WNBA game to anyone ofc. I was happy to see a Mystics win (and an interesting game) since Im usually bad luck for my/home pro teams in person.

Actually P.S. Li has such a cool vibe! Very sad to not get to watch her play but gives a fun, animated energy from the bench, to her credit. Easy to see why shes so well liked. And I dont know if you happened to see Shakira Austin that day, but holy hell. She is so tall and so stunning it blows the mind in real life. And while Kira is actually single (perhaps a nice fyi for some of you), I should be clear, Lou doesnt need to worry at all about competition. Theres no way little, sweet me would ever dare to handle a 6'5" woman with such a crazy side 😅 said with complete and total affection for her

Ok I should stop. 🫶

-☕️

Ahh unfortunately you can't send pic on anon. You can dm them to me if you'd like but it's totally fair if you wanna just stay an anon, I'mma just imagine the pics!

DAMN bestie I'm jealous of those seats but I'm so happy for you and so happy you got to see Lou so close! Awww I knew Lou was a sweetheart but I love hearing that for you. OMG DO I SENSE A MEET CUTE? She was dancing and then your eyes met? Personally I think that's a sign! I'M STARTING BRIDESMAIDS DRESS SHOPPING! You know what babes, I think you did great, just means you needa go to another game of hers and shoot another shot! Also hi twinnnn, I'm also barely 5'2 lol

I LOVE JACY! And her relationship with her sister is so sweet so that's so nice you saw her family! That's inchrestingggg info. I guess it could be a cousin but hmmm?

LMAO ofc there was something VT/Kitley related there, of course

Glad you got to see a W! And Li sounds amazing, I hope you get to see her play eventually too. Ooooh I bet Kira was stunning in person like I find her so freaking gorgeous so this totally checks out.