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enhashoutout · 9 months ago

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Plot Holes in High and Low We Need to Discuss

@tiredlittlewriter always gassing me up 🤭🫶🏼 @cheshirecatuniverse @mrskenpachizaraki @books-n-guns

Thank you so much everyone tagged for staying up and talking about the movies with me last night😂❤

Trigger warnings before you start reading, this ramble posts contains spoilers for the movies, cuss words, mentions of character d3aths, mention of SA that happens to a character, and other violence and cr!me associated with the H&L franchise. Please don't read if you do not want to see any of these.

Anywaysssas as you can tell by the title of this post and this screenshot, we are talking about plot holes in the High and Low franchise that we need to talk about because they BUG THE SHIT OUT OF ME.

I would like to start by saying that I do love this franchise, it is my everything. It's not like I have anything bad to say about it, I love it as it is, but some of the stuff within the franchise definitely could've been more thought out. It could've been worse! So I am thankful it wasn't bad but there are some things I wish the writing team did a little differently.

Also, I do attribute a lot of the plot holes to 1) the creators not being entirely sure whether or not they would get a green light on more movies, 2) trying to make sure the movies made money (it's a business unfortunately and not just art), and 3) High and Low is a multi-media franchise so some stuff is probably explained in the mangas, TV shows, games, etc. I will contradict myself and discuss this more in detail as we keep going.

These are in no particular order, just what comes to mind first

S.W.O.R.D Era

1)Noboru and Miho's story

I have beef with whoever on the H&L writing team thought that condensing the 2 seasons of Story of S.W.O.R.D into Road to High & Low was a good idea. "It's both seasons condensed into one movie" THAT'S A FUCKIN LIE. So much of what is in the shows is cut out from the movie.

Tell me why I learned here on Tumblr that Noboru actually spent a while in a coma in the hospital after getting body slammed by a Kuryu car? And then Cobra and Yamato had to do the "IF YOU DIE I'M GONNA BE SO MAD AT YOU" speech you always see in Asian dramas to get Noboru to wake up?!

And tell me why I learned from a fanfic on Wattpad that Miho isn't dead?! She literally comes to visit Noboru while he's in the hospital. Road to High & Low frames the situation to make it look like Noboru goes to beat up Miho's SA perpetrators after he finds he d3ad in her apartment. Then when I brought this up a couple weeks ago the Discord besties told me she broke up with him through a letter😭 A LETTER GIRL?! HE WENT THROUGH ALL THAT FOR YOU! IF I WAS YOU I WOULD'VE KEPT HIM. NOBORU. GIVE ME YOUR HAND IN MARRIAGE PLEASE GOOD SIR💍 (I'm completely joking I don't think anyone is entitled to another person's feelings, love, affection, etc. I'm just delusional because I love Noboru and Keita Machida)

Then I learned last night from Discord that Miho needs serious therapy because she was working for Doubt and it was addressed in season 2 of the show. Like HUUUH?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!

I do think the storyline between them as a couple and their stories individually definitely could've been explored and explained more. It was probably explained better in the show than RTH&L but I don't have access to the show so idk... which brings me to my first contradiction!

LDH AND EXILE TRIBE PLEASE MAKE YOUR MEDIA MORE ACCESIBLE GOSH. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SUB IT THAT'S FINE AT LEAST MAKE IT EASIER TO FIND SO THAT WE CAN GET FAN SUBS OR I CAN JUST WATCH THE RAW FOOTAGE AND PRETEND I KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING. There's so many films like the 2 DTC films, the Mighty Warriors film, the shows, even the manga that a lot of us don't have access to😭 Yes this franchise is multi-media but at least make the media accessible😭

2) Mighty Warriors working with Doubt

In the first and second High & Low movie MW and Doubt work together... AND THAT LITERALLY DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. Last I checked Mighty Warriors don't fuck with tr@ffickers in general so I don't even know why this happened.

And last I checked, MW rescued Sarah from Doubt so why would they work with Doubt when one of their members was literally a Doubt victim? That just doesn't make sense to me. Like yes the MW tend to just take up whatever whack-ass jobs for money they can get considering they fought with literal children (Oya and Rude Boys. I'm like 99.9% sure the Rude Boys members were all 16-19 and that is the age of children. Smoky might've been 20-22 which is not exactly a child but he's still young compared to the MW who were all mercenaries and in the military before they were musical bandits alluding to the fact they are older) but you would think that people who claim to have a club that is a utopia with music that is supposed to impact people positively and save their lives just like music saved the MW members' lives, they would have more moral and standards than to work with Doubt.... but I digress.

3) The alliance with a foreign mafia

This one I can kind of understand but also can't.

I understand that MW take up whatever job they can to make money. It's said directly multiple times in the movies by a MW member that there is no use doing a job for someone without getting paid so they do a lot of stuff just for the money. I also understand Doubt take whatever job pays them but also benefits their tr@fficking business. Hence why they took this job because not only were they getting paid by Lee who runs the Korean mafia but they could kidnap women in the S.W.O.R.D district which worked in their favor.

What I can't understand though is how this alliance even came to be. Hear me out. MW and Doubt will probably do whatever to get money, but where did the trust come from? Like how did they trust that a foreign mafia of all people would uphold their deal and pay them? Was it because Kohaku was made the front-man/face of the plan? Like did they believe that it would be fine because Kohaku was the one "leading" even though it seemed like Lee was pulling a lot of the strings? DOES KOHAKU EVEN HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO BE PAYING EVERYONE?! I SWEAR EVERY TIME WE SEE HIM THAT MAN IS JUST LAYING ON A SOFA IN A JUNKYARD! WDYM DOUBT AND MIGHTY WARRIORS BELIEVED THIS MAN WAS THE ONE WHO WAS GONNA GIVE THEM MONEY?!

4) Who the fuck are Bulge? And what happened to Kuryu?

In End of Sky, we learn that Bulge are interested in the fight between Doubt, Prison Gang, and White Rascals and would sponsor Prison Gang. That's why the scene where we see Jesse fighting with another prisoner, after he kicks him down the guards tell Jesse that Bulge wants to see him to. This is why Jesse and Prison Gang are released early. When Jesse goes back to Funk Jungle he's asking if Mighty want to join but Ice says that they are gonna focus on promoting Funk Jungle, but like he's a liar they show up at the fight anyways lol.

A the end of Final Mission, the movie closes off with a dramatic shot of Mighty Warriors and a typed out message stating "Hello, everyone. This is Bulge. The takeover plan has begun." We never get an explanation of who they are, what they do, etc. I did learn from Ryu's Wiki Fandom page however that "It is presumed that he and Bulge orchestrated the fall of Kuryu Group. In the music video of the MIghty Warriors' new song "Warriors Anthem", it is revealed that he took over Kuryu as the leader after the events of Final Mission, and having Mighty Warriors occupy the remaining 8 heads of Kuryu."

So who exactly are Bulge? How are they powerful enough to be able to take down all of the original Kuryu members who have been seen as indestructible the whole franchise? Why did they allow Ryu to be the new leader?

After Final Mission, the next media pieces that were released were the DTC show and DTC movie, and then we moved into The Worst era with High&Low: The Worst Episode 0 along with the two Worst movies that followed.

I had made the assumption that around the start of the Worst era the creators probably wanted to integrate more of Jr.Exile into the franchise because of their 1) popularity and 2) new stories. The popularity of Exile members like Hokuto and Kazuma would probably bring in more viewership which does good on the numbers and money side because as I said above, unfortunately this is also a business not just art. The H&L creators probably also needed new stories to follow because they can't keep adding to S.W.O.R.D

Vis said that they think the Mighty Warriors were probably dropped because we haven't seen anything from them since the third movie, but Taiga also brought up how the new Mighty Warriors music video was also dropped right around the time the most recent movie Worst X was released. This probably means they are trying to figure out the story within S.W.O.R.D behind the scenes and it's just taking a while to do the world building. Tired also brought up a good point that considering most of the actors in H&L are also Exile members, they have to also continue their jobs as artists so tours, making music, schedules, etc. are probably also clashing with filming and working on High and Low.

Hopefully that is the case and we see more because I have too many questions and no answers.

5) Wtf happened to Rude Boys, Nameless City, and Nikaido?

If you read my fics, you know that when I write about Nameless City after Smoky's passing, I write about how the Rude Boys, Lala, and Eri go and visit Smoky's grave all the time. About a month ago the besties in the Discord made it known to me that Smoky's gravesite and like 3/4 of Nameless City was completely blown up. I was like 😧when I read those messages because it wasn't even like a head-canon thing I genuinely thought that only a small section of Nameless City was blown up so we were fine BUT APPARENTLY WE AREN'T FINE. So what does this mean for the Nameless City residents?

Did they get government housing to stay in while they got tested for the disease from the pollution? Did the residents get released back into Nameless City after the whole casino project exposure? If they were released back into Nameless City, are they all just cramming into that little 1/4 of Nameless City that wasn't blown up?

What happened to Rude Boys afterwards? Are they all back in Nameless City? Or did they move to a different area? Where would they go though? Little Asia? Did Eri get adopted afterwards? Are they finding ways to make money like how they mined the crystal to get money to rebuild Nameless City? Do they even want to return to Nameless City considering the pollution from the toxic waste was causing the disease that killed their leader?

Wtf happened to Nikaido/Cain? Is he finally happy now that he purged his past? Was purging his past and killing his brother worth it? If Kuryu was overthrown and taken over by Mighty Warriors, what does that mean for Nikaido? Is he working for them? Was purging his past worth anything if he didn't even gain anything from it because MW took over Kuryu? Again, so many questions and no answers😭

6) Give us a more clear timeline

This isn't a plot hole, just something I wish the creators would do is give us a clearer timeline. We're never given any clear timeline of how much time has past between each movie or even how much time is between the S.W.O.R.D and Worst era. I'm always trying to calculate the timeline or everyone's ages based off of the only two characters we get ages for and Noboru's school timeline.

The only two characters in the whole franchise that we get ages for are Chiharu and Seki. At the start of the series we know that Chiharu is 20 because when he joins Sannoh, in the scene at the bar Cobra offers him a drink but takes it back and says "wait but aren't you underaged?" to which Chiharu replies that he is 20 (which is the legal adult age in Japan) and Tettsu makes fun of him for still being in high school as an adult (in good fun of course not in a mean way).

When we first are introduced to Oya, the narrator tells us that Seki is the oldest part-timer student there at age 25.

Noboru, Yamato, and Cobra were high schoolers while Mugen was still active. This is deduced by the scene where Yamato drops Noboru off in front of the school for the day he takes his exam, then when he opens up his college acceptance letter with them. I'm assuming Yamato and Cobra dropped out to be apart of Mugen and take care of their parents' shops. Then, we see when Noboru starts college but doesn't make it super far into his bachelors degree after getting sent to jail. We don't get to see how long he was in jail for, just that he was released early because Kuryu paid to get him out early.

I always use these ages and Noboru's vague school timeline to try and figure out the character's ages and shit but they are just estimates because we never get clear timelines from the creators. Like why couldn't they at least tell us how much time passed between the end of Final Mission and the start of The Worst?!😭anyways.... onto the next thing

The Worst Era (mainly X)

Like I said in the screenshot, The Worst isn't my favorite movie out of the franchise but I think it was the best executed in terms of plot out of all the movies. The plot was clear, very concise, and relatively had no plot holes. (I haven't seen The Worst Episode 0 so if there is something that is missing plot wise please let me know)

It was fun to see the cross with Housen and the themes and messages we got from not only the plot but also from each character were all really good too. It was a solid movie, no complaints.

The Worst X however... I have questions. It's not to say it wasn't good, I still liked it and obviously it was good considering I watched it with no context and it got me into the whole H&L universe, but I feel like it fell a bit short. There was more the writers could've done for not only plot development but character development.

1)How did that 3 school alliance actually even start?

From the movies, it seems like Kohei Amagai is well known as "the annoying son of the Amagai group". Like EVERYONE knows him and knows he throws around money to get people to work for him. And like yeah, we see when he is able to take control of the school with the beige uniforms because Senomon, Kamasaka, and Ebara are quite literally beating the shit out of them, but how did Senomon get Kamasaka and Ebara to cooperate?

I refuse to believe that Amagai was able to get Kamasaka who fight with weapons like brass knuckles and metal rods and Ebara who are all literal gym bros to join his stupid ass plan with just money. As dumb as I think boys are I don't think Reiji, Ghandi, Shoji, Raijin, or Fujin are actually dumb enough to join an alliance for money. Even if this alliance did win and take over Oya, what would they have done with each other afterwards? Those dudes have so much pride we all know that there is NO WAY they would all continue working under Amagai. Amagai is also stupid as hell if he thought he could be at the top without someone from Kamasaka or Ebara trying to overthrow him if he had taken down Oya like Kohei.... be fuckin for real bitch.

I need more of an explanation to this like someone from the H&L writing room please sit down with me and answer my questions so I can publish it in an interview for all of us we need answers.

2) What the fuck is the story behind Todoroki and the dudes from Ebara?

The whole time Fujin and Raijin are running around screaming about how they're gonna crush Todoroki and I literally sit there like

👁️👄👁️Why? No matter how many times I watch the movies because we never get an explanation! Idk was this in the show? Someone please tell me.

And like the scene after Todoroki beats up Fujin and Raijin, Shoji goes "you're different now" and I'm always like "Different? DIFFERENT HOW?! DON'T BE SHY SHARE WITH THE CLASS PLEASE"

Todoroki responds with something along the lines of "now I have friends to protect" which is so wholesome I love that, but what is the detailed history of him and the guys from Ebara? We never get that explained to us. I remember reading somewhere that Todoroki trained hard to beat his bullies and because he got so strong that's why he always tried to fight for the leader position because he believed he could beat Murayama. I also saw a clip on Youtube where when Murayama is fighting with Todoroki, he sees his old self in Todoroki who is being reckless which probably adds to Todoroki's character development.

Did the guys from Ebara bully Todoroki? Were they old friends who fell apart? Did they just have a bad run in when Todoroki was being a little shit and fought but now hold a grudge because they are teenagers with a lot of pride and anger issues and it's not that deep? Idk🤷‍♀️The thing that bugs me is the fact that their feud was added a solid amount to the plot and why Ebara joined then dropped the alliance so I don't know why we didn't get at least a vague explanation of who these characters are to each other.

3) Questions and what I want to see next movie

This obviously isn't plot holes but just some questions I have and what I want to see in the next installments of the franchise.

Why were these high schoolers doing THE FUCKIN MOST to see who was stronger?! The first time I watched I was so confused because why was this movie serious but also so unserious?! They did not need to be doing all that.

Why didn't Amagai get in any trouble for anything?! Is it because he has money?! Like how did this man commit literal crime and everyone was like okei. He literally kidnapped Tsukasa and tortured him for like half a day and 1 night...

How did Tsukasa not die?! The was literally beat over the head with a metal pipe, kidnapped, tied up, tortured, and then dropped from a balcony. I digress, he probably has plot armor as Sun calls it because how did he not die or at least end up in the hospital for a long time.

I want to see the movies circle back to the S.W.O.R.D plotline so it would be really cool if Amagai's little plan was part of a larger plan to break down the peace in S.W.O.R.D. It wouldn't be the first time the adults used kids to push their agenda. Kuryu originally wanted to use Murayama to tear down the peace in S.W.O.R.D because he used to look up to the man who was the head of Iemura but because he chose not to do it, they went after Noboru.

Maybe MW are thriving as the new heads of Kuryu so someone on the outside is trying to take over and Amagai's family is apart of that. Or maybe his family is trying to gain favor from Mighty and are working for them. Idk but it would be cool if we circle back to S.W.O.R.D and see the new Oya characters have to integrate into the S.W.O.R.D world also.

I also want to see a segment of how Rude Boys and Oya adjust to their new leaders.

I want to see what happened to the rest of S.W.O.R.D after the third movie. We saw Oya in The Worst era but what happened to everyone else? Which I also know these are probably kind of far fetched considering the Exile Tribe member who played Rocky is retired from the entertainment industry now... but a girl can dream I guess.

You made it to the end! Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to read this big rant. This wasn't proof read and is kind of everywhere but thank you for reading it anyways! ❤️

#high&low #high and low #oya high #high&low story of sword #oya kou #sannoh hoodlum squad #the rampage from exile tribe #hanaoka fujio #high and low the movie #high and low end of sky #high and low final mission #white rascals #daruma ikka #high&low rude boys #be:first #exile tribe #jsb3

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what-in-the-gloobie-glob · 1 year ago

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Heavy mw3 spoilers (tagging bc its only been a day since full access) soap/interactions characters had with soap

Before the rest of the post I just want to say that I am aware that news has been going around that the game ended up getting rushed due to activision pushing dates(?) Or whatever (idk I haven't read into it)

I have an actual problem with soap's death. And I mean, I feel like it might have been more acceptable for everyone (including die hard cod boys or whatever) if there was more purpose to it. Or even if it was just... more cinematic (?)

It was so lackluster, and I understand the whole "It's supposed to be realistic" but it's a game. The entire point of it is to be entertaining, it doesn't matter if it isn't realistic, because it's supposed to immerse and entertain the viewer,and catch their attention. This death... was not that. Infact it was any thing but that.

It didn't even feel like there was an out of game purpose for it. If it had been at the beginning of the game, at least then the game could have been "revenge" driven. You put it from anyone's pov and (without even making it gay) you could have an emotional drive for revenge. (Of course I AM going to make it gay because that who I am). And if it's kept at the end of the game they could just play up the cinematics a tiny bit, and boom, payer satisfaction. But nope

Now lets go back to if it was the beginning of the game. I'm only gonna focus of the remaining main 3 of the 141.

If soap died at the beginning, the game could be largely price's pov. And we already know in the original price saw soap as a son figure. So just copy+paste character dynamics, and oop, you've got a more immersive emotional connection that draws the players in. It gives the character (price) a motivation, which can also explain some of the OOC behaviors that are exhibited in the game. Because Price is supposed to be this confident, level-headed leader. And the entire game he feels off, unsure of his own decisions, and he makes decisions that arguably are illogical for someone of his rank to make.

Onto Gaz. He seemed too stoic, and cold for this game. If soap had died at the beginning, it could be explained by him being angry and vengeful, and shutting off his emotions. Think about it, he lost a fellow Sergent, whom he'd thought of as a brother. That does things to a person. But they didn't do that so we just got what feels to be an ooc gaz, with minimal interaction with soap who he called a brother. Now I realize that calling soap his brother could just be a term of endearment or whatever, but it anything it felt like a desperate grab to make a last connection between the player and the character by showing a "deeper" connection (which wasn't there). As a side note, when I say gaz feels ooc I mean that in mw it seemed (to me) that he thought about his actions more and their impacts. He didn't just follow orders blindly like a good little soldier, like in this movie. In mw he was more self-righteous (if that's the right word) and he seemed to care a lot more for how his actions would have an impact on the world/people that he was fighting for.

And then we have Ghost. And sorry to sound repetitive but the interactions with him and soap were lackluster. We can start with the fact that there was very little interaction between the two, much less than in mw2 obviously, but I just want to point out that it ALMOST feels like Shepherd had more screen time than the two did together (to me). I know that that isn't true but that's how it feels. And we have even less meaningful interactions. Sure we have ghost and soap interrogating milena but they didn't interact all that much, and we have SOME banter but not a lot. We also have ghost claiming soap to go with him before they drop onto the island, and them pairing up after the vidcall with Shepherd and graves. But that's basically it, aside from soap's death scene (not including the flashvack because they didn't really interact much/the same way). Also I don't know if anyone else felt like this but to me it felt like their banter/interactions were too stilted/formal for the level of acquaintance that they are. Especially after Las Almas, and the game implies that they have fallen into a routine of going on missions together since then, and their conversations/interactions don't feel like they're at that level of knowledge of eachother that they should be at.

I'm putting soap's actual death and aftermath here since I have misc. thoughts.

I want to point out the parallel between laswell and hew wife disapproval with smoking, and Ghost with johnny (i know it's veen pointed out before) but it basically confirms soapghost/ghoap

Also ive seen it pointed out that ghost checked soap's pulse to check if he was alive, even after he was shot in the head, he also pats soap chest like he's teying to confort him.

I also want to point out that at no point between soap dying and the bomb does ghost say anything about the bomb, nor does he go gelp gaz stop it. I get that the point is to force the player to stop the bomb, but they could have added it as a non-canon ending where he was too late or off time with gaz and thus the bomb still blew up. But no. He just says by soap's body the entire time...

Ghost was also apparently the one in possession of soap's ashes, AND the one to spread his ashes, which seems too intimate if activision was trying to stomp down ghoap.

Also I thought soap was catholic, so in my mind, I would have expected maybe a small (possibly unmarked) grave, instead of cremation (im not entirely sure on catholic funeral rituals, so don't come at me if this is wrong). And to me soap's character seemed like it should have been buried instead of cremated and forgotten to the wind (personal preference) but I think he should have had some spot on earth that was his to remember him.

And I'm not gonna say the ashes scene was lackluster, or rushed. Because it wasn't, but it did feel like it was an emotional grab. And it just felt off in general.

Ok that's all I have

#call of duty mw3 #mw3 spoilers #mwiii spoilers #cod mwiii #cod mw3 #mwiii #mw3 #call of duty #john soap mactavish #captain john price #simon ghost riley #kyle gaz garrick #soapghost #ghostsoap

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ava-du-mortain · 3 months ago

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sad rambling vent post about my relationship with the wayhaven fandom.

i think a lot abt how fandom ruined my relationship with wayhaven bc it's my comfort media but i feel so paranoid interacting with literally every single person in the fandom because of the shit i dealt with and i know i have talked about this before and you're probably like "damn bitch go to therapy or shut up"

but idk sometimes i remember that and i get sad because no matter what relationships I've made in fandom or the people i think are cool or whose writing and art i love, there will always be that voice in my head telling me "there's a discord server where people talk shit about you"

(and i need to stress that's not pure paranoia and early in my fandom days there WAS a discord server where people regularly talked shit about me and accused me of shit i didn't do or say. and some of those ppl are STILL in fandom and still mutuals in law with me)

that isn't to like shame people who may be friends with them esp cuz like im not gonna openly call anyone out over some he said she said they said nonsense but like 🤷 idk i wish that the people who treated me like a fandom pariah didn't succeed in doing so? i wish my friends who had been in that server at the time stuck up for me when it did happen?

because i have an ex friend who would be in my dms telling me how these people are talking shit about me and making false accusations so they can justify hating me but he would still be a part of that server and friends with those people so as not to rock the boat

and idk how am i supposed to feel about that? and like because of shit like this i can't fully trust that anyone in the wayhaven fandom isn't in a group chat where maybe occasionally if i say some shit in the tags maybe someone will bring it up in the server and go "lmao remember that bitch pap we used to talk shit about 3 years ago" and rehash all the shit they used to say to even new people in the fandom

because there are people who preemptively block me when joining the wayhaven fandom and idk how to deal with that when literally the only controversial thing I've ever done is stick to my guns about how i feel about racism and r/adfems in fandom. like that's the kind of shit i got called retarded for and sent anon hate consistently through end of 2020 beginning of 2021? i got accused of harassing a person I'd literally never met for making 1 incredibly general text post about racism in fandom with no identifying information (because i wasn't talking about anyone specific) and people still have me blocked over that shit. I had someone who i thought was a friend vague post about me (a trigger of my paranoia) the same day I posted about how I was having suicidal ideation around my paranoia due to people vague posting about me constantly—literally only over me not using his art in a fandom event, like he got paid + a tip for a commission and in the end we didn't feel it was a fit and respectfully told him so (but he still got that bag??) and he decided suicide baiting was the answer.

girl i don't even fucking know what to do

how do i even begin to repair my relationship with this fucking hostile fandom without grovelling at the feet of shitty white fandom moms who decided im hostile and bringing drama to fandom?

idk im tired and im not sure if this makes sense but I'm hitting post anyway

#paptalk #suicidal ideation mention

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cookinguptales · 1 year ago

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I will say, though, that sometimes you try to talk yourself out of your feelings for a long time and then you talk to someone outside of the situation and they're like "what the fuck" and you're like OH okay I have a right to feel weird and bad and stressed out.

I guess it's easy to feel stupid because you actually are affected when people are actively trying to affect you, especially when it's something like writing on the internet, which is just... always going to get harassment. Like when I say I've gotten messages about how people like me should be euthanized in the past over tumblr posts. :')

So you're like "oh, random shitty people is just something that everyone deals with, I should shut up and stop being a baby about it" and then you actually show the messages you're getting to someone and they're like ???? what????

Like I shared my inbox with my hairstylist when we were chatting a few days ago, and he was like ???? This man is not in fandom, so when he saw the kind of shit I was getting over not liking a finale of a tv show, he was shocked. Which... was kind of gratifying. It made me feel less crazy. lmao

Kind of reminds me of when I wrote this really personal essay about disability a few years ago and it won a contest. The people running the contest gave me uhhh quite a bit of money and asked me to keep writing for their site for more money. Like when I tell you I was literally on IRL conference calls with these people asking me why I stopped writing for them.

And I was finally like "...well, there's this feature on your site where you can tag other users in your essays, and after I won people kept writing their own essays about how much I didn't deserve to win, about how "lucky" I was to have a sob story that was attractive to the judges, about how whiny I was, people questioning my disability, etc. And since they tagged me, this was filling my email inbox and it really stressed me out. But if you look at the actual comments on the story, you don't see any of that. So it was kind of invisible harassment."

And the rep was horrified. She had never even considered that someone might use the feature like that. She was like WE'LL INVESTIGATE THIS and I was like. sure, okay. But getting that taste of the spotlight was already enough to make me peace out for good, tbh. Even though I knew that a lot of it was just sour grapes because they wanted to win themselves, and I knew that a lot of what they were saying wasn't valid, the sheer force of the animosity against me was overwhelming.

Like... it's not a crime to have your feelings hurt when someone is actively trying to hurt your feelings. It's natural, I guess, even if you feel kind of stupid about it.

I guess it's kind of wild to me that we just take it for granted that anyone who speaks up is gonna get yelled at online. Any prominent writer or activist you see is probably getting daily cruelty, if not outright death threats. And you just -- you have to have such a certain temperament to deal with all that. And I don't have it. I get easily overwhelmed and stressed when people are mad at me and I know it's not ideal but it is who I am. I joke about it, but I really kind of do feel like a small nervous dog sometimes.

And I wonder, sometimes, how many great voices we never hear from because of this expectation of harassment. Someone says something, gets some shitty trolly comment, then goes back in their hole and never talks again. Or they see the way other people get treated and they never speak up in the first place.

idk, I don't mean to be a martyr about this and I'm sure other people are getting the kinds of messages I am but like. God, it is so weird and disheartening to realize that a few people have been sending you nasty messages for literally months when you block an anon from your inbox and you see what else disappears. There are people who are so mad at me that they've sent me angry messages for months. Because I don't have the same opinions they do about a tv show.

It kind of makes you want to never talk about anything ever again. :(

#just me #I've actually been literally stalked twice because of fandom #one much worse than the other #so maybe I'm just extra sensitive #but man it does not feel good #I Do Not Wish To Be Observed #but I do want people to read the things I write #a terrible conundrum lmao #it just all gets so weirdly personal so fast

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petrichoraline · 7 months ago

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We Are Ep.2 thoughts in chronological order

what peem did in the car trying to convince phum to part their ways is what the youth calls ✨a yap sesh✨ (he tried ig) (this is what this post is as well)

we're probably never seeing phum use those things he bought ever, he'll just keep hanging around in his engineer shirt

peem has so many ppl ready to square up for him including his auntie and he is recognised by tan as someone who loves his friends very much (which makes the fact tan has sold him away for time with his crush TWICE even worse lmao)

i don't really get phum's insistence on not telling anyone about being phum's "slave", not even tan who got him into the mess or his best friend but it's just his ego ig (aside from plot reasons)

i find pun more relatable now - tags along for the funsies and gets happy around fire

not convinced the beans and pork scene wasn't an ad but im not sure how cause i didn't clock any labels

the scene where peem brings in food and laughs with q feels like improv or breaking left in lol

fai missing cause of upset stomach might be some sort of foreshadowing and i'm a bit worried bout her

the professor is handsome <3 and could pas off as chimon's sibling in a show

q absorbing those noodles was very satisfying idek why lol

peem and q's friendship is in the background but the show still constantly makes it a point that they are really good and loyal best friends

i thought "oh theyre gonna make the sharing food a thing in the future" so when boys showed up i was like "ah, we're doing it immediately? bit boring" but then he didn't share!! joey never shares food!! i think he will in the future though, him being a foodie is a constant thing so i'm guessing we're using it as a sign of compromise in the name of love or smth

satang playing this type of character felt a bit much in the first episode but i think he's getting more comfortable with the role as the show progresses and it look more natural; i'm glad his character isn't the googly eyed mentee and he actually teases a lot and snaps back but knows when to stop playing because q isn't the most patient person. (matt having to jump in like "bro he's serious" was so funny cause i hadn't clocked that either hahah)

the way we can see q flustered at certain points but seemingly unbothered at others is fun because his reactions aren't entirely predictable at this stage as we're still getting to know him. also it's mad cute when he clearly doesn't know what to do with himself

idk how he hasn't asked toey bout why he's in art yet, ig they're just now starting to properly get to know each other

toey took one look at q's back and decided "that's a cool ass aura to base my entire future around!" and tbh that's very young adult of him

q regularly asking about peem's work being submitted, he's honestyly worried <3

the way i cheered for peem burping in phum's face and then went "oh he came back :(" bahah

phum is definitely already planning his day and schedule around peem, i don't think he'd ever tell his friends because he wants to actually keep it going so one of the reasons is to not run into his faculty friends including tan and the second is to have lunch with his unconscious crush AND I AM VERY HAPPY WITH THIS STUPIDITY

thought peem could overhear the convo behind the car and realise what he was exchanged for but nope, he just dipped; i think that might be a plot point for later

phum not knowing tan has a crush on fang is so weird cause he genuinely acted like he knew while taunting tan, i don't have an explanation for that

fang is their p'!! i was so conviced he was the little brother, ig because of his big round eyes and the way phum acted all protective (that just makes phum cuter tbh)

what is the age difference between bar owner and prof cause i ship it

it took me a bit to realise the nongs were there instead of the full arts gang and i was glad to see toey and q together (also the green sweater is beautiful on toey, hope it makes a comeback)

i was ready to believe fang had some sort of falling out with tan with the way he treated him but tan beaming and enjoying a dreadful setting (no talking, awkward sitting around in a bar with mid music and alcohol) shows that man is glowing just from being in fang's presence (i hope he reaches ridiculous levels of lame for him)

i was screeching when i realised where things were going with wasted peem and seeing him n the bench outside had me exctaticcc (ofc he didnt book a taxi. and ofc they cant just order one for him noww could they)

phum cockblocks but he kinda has to cause there's no reason for fang to be there otherwise; once the ridiculous proposition of him taking peem home comes up he doesn't really fight it at all - he wants to be with peem, sure, but i think he's also pretty okay with tan and fang being a thing

the way i was screaming "just buy the flowers rich boy!!! he wants to go home" and then the kid went to get more lol

ofc he couldnt just leave the flowers in the backseat, peem just has to have them in his lap.. and the seatbelt scene was so predictable but it's too much of a classic with all "figuring things out" parts of a romance that i can't complain

it makes absolutely zero sense aside from people liking people (cause fang knows what he's doing too) that phum would drive peem to his house - a place where tan has sleepovers at all the time and phum hasn't been to before. fang is his brother and they can sleep at the same place as well even if they don't live together but nope. also THAT CAR HAS EMPTY BACKSEATS, if phum wanted to he would've forced them to ride with him to keep an eye on tan

fang is probably planning to launch a big revenge attack on peem and that'd be so funny, those four can get way too entangled, i could get DRAMA out of their plans and schemes (this show is more hidden agenda than hidden agenda was)

tan's energy with fang reminds me of the duracell bunny lmao it's late at night and they've had a few drinks but his mind and body are all focusedon wooing fang (who is playing nonchalant but has probably had a crush on tan as well)

also no way he was just gonna leave tan on the street lol

toey and q aleady work so well together, toey knows his effect on q more or less and q doesn't shy away from being at least a bit vulnerable as of rn; i think they can be one of the best if not the best couple if they have a proper storyline; im certainly enjoying it the more than i thought i would

the fake blush on both toey and peem is ridiculous esp up close but ig they're cartoonishly drnk anyways

auntie took note and now doesn't do facemasks at night, otherwise it would've been an amazing first meeting

"he likes to whine" and she's the one who can't leave the room from complaining sm lol auntie is so cute

ahh, the mandatory "a look around the room shows me you're truly passionate about what you do and you're deeper than i thought" scene..thankfully he didn't mutter "you like painting this much, huh" to nobody cause i was ready to yell HES AN ARTS MAJOR like he kicked you in the balls for a reason doofus

theyre giving us so many closeups of these two and i keep thinking "this is so drama/y im embarrassed" but i have no shame, if it's fun it's fun (and it's pondphuwin, youre not gonna hear me complain about looking at pond's face for too long or from too close)

reaching out to touch his face was a bold choice thoughh i lost it

man down badd man down baddd he was called an asshole and started gleaming like a light bulb

#we are the series

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sehtoast · 9 months ago

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Writer Tag

Thanks for the tag @venus-haze <3

How many works do you have on AO3? 29

What's your total AO3 word count? 230k

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Tender Threads

Satisfy Me

One Big Wet Spot

Say Please

The Hand That Feeds

(All Homelander fics) ^

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Most of the time, but lately I haven't had the energy or the time. My social battery is pretty fucked, but I do read every single one of them and love them

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? So it's technically unpublished, but it basically ends with Ben (my oc) sentencing himself to die pretty painfully alongside Homelander with that thing that got revealed in Gen V. If you know you know

What’s the fic you've written with the happiest ending? Honestly, Envy.

Do you write crossovers? I've done an AU crossover for the same fandom, but not really

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Most of the hate I get is in my tumblr inbox. I haven't really done/said anything about it bc no one really wants to see or hear about it tbh, but I've gotten a fair amount of shit for pairing homie with a guy and then also more for pairing him with a trans guy. I think the only ao3 hate i ever got was barely even hate, more like someone bitching that my tender threads formatting wasn't to their liking bc it's Y/n formatted

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yessir yessir. Honestly just whatever i'm vibin with

Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i'm aware although i don't think i've written anything steal-worthy

Have you ever had a fic translated? no, but @anon-nee has been my personal jesus christ in helping me make sure my english to german translations in tender threads has been accurate. love you nonnums <3

Have you ever co-written a fic before? technically no, but @homelanderbutbig did a collab with me and made this to pair with a fic i wrote, which i feel like is co-creation so i'm gonna say yes anyway. love you HBB <3

What's your all-time favorite ship? honestly i don't really have one, unless i can count my ocxcanon ship in which case it's benlander

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? i have a depowered homelander fic where ben answers the door one day and ryan, now in his late teens, is there to finally see homie again after all those years went by. i adore the concept but i'm like NEVER in the mindset i need to actually write something like that

What are your writing strengths? yall got strengths?

What are your writing weaknesses? all of them

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? i think it's fine so long as there's clarification shortly after for the readers who may not understand, and also that you've somehow gotten it cross checked by someone who actually speaks the langauge so ensure you're not just saying some wild shit. but ultimately do whatever makes you happy idk bro i don't make the rules

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Prometheus! i was am down so bad for david omg

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to? astarion/tav. i wanna write something sooooo bad but i just can't get in the headspace for it

What's your favorite fic you've written? probably satisfy me because the role swap was incredibly fun and it's REALLY fucking cool to unbind homelander from his own behavioral patterns and manifest them into a reader's concept. like, of everything i've written, i could most clearly imagine everything that happened in that fic and i'd find myself grinning like a sick fuck while writing about literally eviscerating a man's chest cavity lmao

No pressure tags: @blindmagdalena @hom3landr @irenadel @slasher-smasher and anyone else who wants to participate

#tag game #sehtoast rambles

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felixwriting · 2 years ago

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15 Questions, 15 Mutuals

Tagged by @winterandwords (thank you :D)

Were you named after anyone? My previous middle name before I transed my gender was given to me to honour my mom's mom who died when she was a kiddo. Currently, I am named after a character from my fave show (Orphan Black) and I stole my dad's middle name because I did not have an idea for a new middle name and I figured I would have an easier time getting surgeries and shit if I fully committed to a masc name even tho I'm NB. With my surgeries all taken care of, I really wanna change my middle name to Rose after Rose Tyler lol

When was the last time you cried? I cried from pain pretty recently when my fucking arthritis made my eyes hurt very badly as happens sometimes lmao. Not entirely sure when the last time I cried from emotion was tho? I have memory problems so it could have been as recent as like January and I would have no clue

Do you have kids? Gods no. I really do not wanna be a parent, like at all. I fucking DESPERATELY want to be an aunt/uncle tho but none of my sibs want kids so I am hoping my best friend hasn't changed their mind about wanting to adopt some day lmao pls I wanna be aunty Felix

Do you use sarcasm a lot? My family is VERY snarky, I come by my sass honestly. I am also very sincere tho, most of the time I'm being genuine but I can and will throw in some sarcasm if I think it will be funny (for everyone, not just me lol what is the point of snark if you're not making everyone laugh???)

What's the first thing you notice about people? Personality, I think?? Idk I'm semi-face-blind and I will NOT remember names until it's said to me a few times, but personality shines through

What's your eye colour? Blue da ba dee da ba di

Scary movies or happy endings? Depends on my mood lmao

Any special talents? Uhhhhh do the million cursed facts that I have stored in my head to share at the drop of a hat count?

Where were you born? Canadian prairies. I have continued to live in this same fucking province my whole life and I would honestly like to leave. Granted, the place I wanna move to is in the yeehaw province, but at least it will be a city! And also it's where my siblings are!

What are your hobbies? Writing is obvious lol, but also drawing, occasional doll customization, cosplay (also occasional), reading, video game, learning whatever seems interesting to me at any given moment, TTRPGs (if I could just fuckinggggg GET A GROUP TOGETHER), fanfic, idk probably other stuff too idk I have memy probs ok

Have you any pets? A ball python named Lemony Snakit who I love and adore. She is deeply, deeply stupid and a huge coward and if I loved her any more than I already do I would literally explode from it

What sports do you play/have played? Not really a sports person tbh. I used to be real good swimmer before my body went "fuck you" and I became disabled and I was gonna try out speedswimming lmao. I'm getting back into swimming and I still love it, even if I am shit at it now

How tall are you? 5'9"

Favourite subject in school? I was homeschooled so stuff wasn't exactly separated into subjects or whatever, but I did have the most fun doing art stuff

Dream job? I wanna be a piercer, but that feels like an unreachable dream from where I'm currently standing. If I can make a living (or at least contribute enough to my household to not feel like a leech even tho I know that's just the internalized ableism speaking) off of writing then I'll be happy with that.

Tagging: Open tag! I do wanna read your answers tho so do tag me up top if you do this! I straight up do not have 15 mutuals I think! XD

#felix speaks #tag game #no one can stop me from rambling at every given chance lmao

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mrs-steve-harrington · 2 years ago

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Thank you for tagging me @elder-flower! Not sure what this is going to look like by the time I reach the end of it, but I'm gonna try and have fun along the way :D

Rules: post the top 5 works you’re most proud of that you released in 2022 (not necessarily your most popular), your top 4 current WIPs that you’re excited to release in the new year, your top 3 biggest improvements in your writing over the past year, your top 2 resolutions (ways you wish to improve your writing/blog) for the new year, and your number 1 favorite line you’ve written this year!

TOP 5 WORKS - not in any particular order

Sleeves - A very self-indulgent Antwan/Keys ficlet I wrote towards the beginning of the year. I remember that, at the time, I thought I was already pretty much done writing Free Guy fic. Writing it at all had been more about getting a different fic to no longer show up under Recent Works on my ao3 dash. Then the idea for this struck me one day while rolling up the sleeves on a button down shirt I don't often wear. It was a lot of fun to write (who knew wrist touching could be so sexy??) and I'm still really proud of it, tbh.

as long as you'll have me - This Steve/Nancy ficlet was written for my pre-July Flash Bingo card. It didn't get much attention, but before season 4 aired, Stancy fic got basically none anyway (and even less when using the Dead by Daylight stuff), so that was expected. I still like it, though. It's not very long, but it has some of my favorite angst in it with Steve being sure Nancy is only kissing him because he's familiar in this strange, dangerous dimension they've ended up in. idk, I just dig it!

Don't Hurt Me - This is a Steve/Nancy ficlet that I wrote for 2021's fandomtrees, but of course it wasn't revealed until January of this year (and I think I probably actually only finished it right before reveals anyway haha). I'd been wanting to write a stancy soulmate au for @stevethehousewife and came across the idea of soulmates being unable to physically harm each other while trying to come up with ideas. I wondered how that might change the alley scene in s1 and started going from there. Again it's Stancy so it didn't get much in the way of attention, but I'm really happy with how it turned out! Plus, there can literally never be too many soulmate fics for any of my ships.

The Craziest Things Happen in Hawkins - A general (no ships), Steve-centered ficlet written for the July Break Bingo that I just really like! It doesn't really have an ending because I couldn't get to one in the time limit (and I was determined to get a BINGO before the month ended). But I don't really care about that. It has exactly what I wanted in it: protective Steve sacrificing himself so that Joyce doesn't get hurt (and so that Jonathan and Will and El don't lose someone important to them so soon after Hopper's death). I'm especially fond of Steve acting like his dad will totally pay a ransom for him when he knows it's a lie, and also knows he probably won't make it back from this. I just don't get to write protective Steve enough because I have too much fun with angsty Steve, but this was great!

Answering Your Call - My first written and published ABO fic! Of course it would be for Stranger Things and Jonathan/Steve/Nancy. I'd have it no other way. This was originally written for an event in the 30+ Fic Writers discord server I'm in (though I never added it to that collection because the people there are lovely and tend to comment on event fics even in fandoms they don't know and I didn't want anyone to feel pressured into reading it if they wouldn't have normally gravitated towards it). I've always been too intimidated by ABO stuff because there's so much of the au that squicks me, and I still have trouble articulating what I want from it myself. But I loved getting to write protective alpha Nancy and Super Growly and Protective Jonathan refusing to let omega Steve get hurt. There's that touch of angst that I love (and would make even angstier if I ever continued with it), but also some comfort and idk, it's just good stuff imo.

TOP 4 CURRENT WIPS - also in no particular order

Steve presents as an omega late (Stoncy) - A fic where Steve always secretly hoped he would present as an omega because he liked the idea that he might be wanted, might be taken care of, might be able to have children and a big family after feeling very alone in his own family. And he does eventually present as an omega, but it happens post-S4 and rather than cause any problems for everyone, he keeps it a secret. That way none of the kids feel bad about moving on after high school, and the adults won't worry about someone needing to stick around either because he's keeping an eye on things. (People do not see omegas as weak, just important and they wouldn't want him stuck with the weight alone).

The real meat of the fic won't start until after all of this, when he goes into crisis after his body starts rejecting his suppressants and Nancy and Jonathan are brought in to help him, resulting in the three of them forming a bond while he's in heat (but without the non/dub-con sex that accompanies this sort of thing usually) and him angsting about forcing them into something they couldn't have wanted (but of course the three of them having been pining for each other for YEARS).

soulmate au (Stoncy) - Siiiiiigh. The very same soulmate au I've been working on since, idk, 2019 or 2020 or something. A long ass time. But while unsuccessfully trying to get it finished for Fandom Trumps Hate this year, I ended up figuring out how to get to the ending. It's just a matter of actually writing the damn thing. There's only gonna be 3 Stoncy readers left by then, but whatever. This is still the most self-indulgent fic I've ever worked on and I love it so much. I want other people to be able to read it!!

anything (anything) for you part 2 (Stoncy) - Another wip that has been in the works for a long, long time. Two more chapters are written, but I've been stuck on Chapter 4 for over a year or something. But I've brainstormed with a couple of friends and I think I have a solid idea for where it should go. I dug myself into a bit of a hole with their relationship and it took a while to figure out how Nancy and Jonathan could possibly find out that Steve was faking his feelings for Jonathan in desperation to keep being allowed to date Nancy, without them ending things. But it should be good. Just another thing that I have to actually try to write, which is unfortunately the hardest part.

Deal with Vecna (Vecna/Steve) - A fic where, in the aftermath of hearing some harsh things about himself, Steve decides to try and trade his life for Max's because then at least he'll have done something to help. Only Vecna decides he'd rather have Steve's body than take his life. I've gotten the whole first part done, but I'm still struggling with where I want it to go and whether or not Steve should be saved.

3 BIGGEST IMPROVEMENTS

None! I may have actually gotten worse at both writing AND finishing things!! But it was a really hard year of writing for me. It's whatever!

TOP 2 RESOLUTIONS

Post at least 1 fic per month next year. This year I went through a stretch where I didn't post anything for a whole month (maybe two?) and it fucked with my mentally and emotionally. I hate it. So I would like to try and keep that from happening again!!

Be even MORE self-indulgent. If only a handful of people are gonna enjoy my stuff anyway, I might as well put everything I like into a fic without taking other people into consideration (I say knowing full well this will not happen but I can dream).

NUMBER 1 FAVORITE LINE

You don't even want to know how many fics I skimmed through to try and find any lines that worked well on their own. Not even sure how much this one does. But it stood out to me and I don't think it's too shabby.

— Every step of the way, some part of him is touching Keys' arm—the ends of his fingers as he holds him in place, the knuckles of his thumbs when he tugs the material taut.

Tagging: @stevethehousewife @urisarang @readythefanons @tkwritesdumbassassins

#thanks for tagging me!#tag game #my fic #my writing

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planetpiastri · 11 months ago

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pairing: logan sargeant x fem!reader [no faceclaim, reader is faceless] summary: when alex's childhood friend makes an appearance on his instagram, logan is instantly smitten, but the universe insists on keeping them only as a missed connection, and alex isn't helping matters. notes: ok this was supposed to be the ending but turns out i crave angst so there'll be one more part coming soon hehe [series masterlist]

liked by alex_albon, logansargeant, and others

ynusername if anyone wants to dig up my problematic tweets from 2011 and use my digital footprint to ruin my career, be my guest 🫠

view all 1,078 comments

logansargeant I'm not sure if your tweets about One Direction are gonna be bad enough to get you fired

ynusername i told you that in CONFIDENCE!

lilymhe one more week xx

alex_albon bring mr. meowgi to silverstone please

ynusername mr. meowgi has an appointment at the kitty spa the week of silverstone sorryyy 🩷

username1 yn rewatching the gp that she physically attended.. she's one of us fr

liked by williamsracing, oscarpiastri, and 68,432 others

logansargeant Tricky quali, but proud of the pace we have. All to play for tomorrow 👊

view all 2,998 comments

ynusername "aLL To pLaY FoR tOmoRrOw" boooooo where's the PERSONALITY

logansargeant You are so mean to me oh my god blame my PR officer ynusername was the blue steel in the first pic his idea, too? logansargeant ...maybe

username2 RRRAHHH WHAT THE FUCK IS A Q1?? 🦅🇺🇸

alex_albon chin up king, don't let the haters get you down

logansargeant The hater in question is your best friend alex_albon and i've never been more proud of her 🫶🏼 ynusername HAH

username3 what is this comment section 😭😭

ynusername

liked by alex_albon, georgerussell63, and others

ynusername appreciation post for the one who's been there for me through it all 💙 20 years and still going strong 💙 ily alex let's bring it home in silverstone this weekend

view all 2,327 comments

username4 holy shit sometimes i forget how long alex and yn have been friends 😭

georgerussell63 Between this and the instagram story... why do I keep catching strays?

ynusername strays of love, georgie x

lilymhe TOO CUTE!!

alex_albon feeling very exposed but that's ok 🫶🏼 looking forward to the next 20 years of dealing with you

ynusername if anyone is doing the dealing, it's me alex_albon we deal in equal measure ynusername ok fair

username5 AWWW BABY ALEX!!!

logansargeant What a nerd

alex_albon outqualify me before you call me a nerd ynusername alex don't make me delete this post be nice to him alex_albon uuggghhhh logansargeant No no keep being mean to me it's the only way I get her in my corner

ynusername

liked by williamsracing, lilymhe, and others

ynusername alex and lily crashed the picnic and then we got rained out but before that it was a really great day

view all 2,109 comments

lilymhe wasn't my idea 🤷🏻‍♀️

ynusername i know this and i love you

alex_albon sorry for the rain but not the other part

ynusername ur obsessed with me get a job alex_albon you first ynusername EXCUSE YOU

username6 pardon me miss but who is 'we'

username7 it's gotta be logan, no? username8 i wanna say yes but he didn't even like the post so idk 😬

georgerussell63 No invite once again ☹️

williamsracing

liked by ynusername, alex_albon, and 110,276 others

williamsracing Hey Silverstone 👋 We're home 💙

view all 3,897 comments

username9 manifesting double points today 🙏🙏🙏

ynusername williams admin can we kiss

williamsracing 🤭🤭 alex_albon stop seducing my coworkers logansargeant I object to that, I like to think I was the one doing the seducing alex_albon nobody was talking to you white boy username10 logan and yn confirmed??? alex_albon grow up ynusername wow so much hate has spiraled from my comment of love... williamsracing They'll never understand what we have 🫶🏻

tagging: @sonder-paradise hey girl

[series masterlist]

#logan sargeant #logan sargeant x reader #logan sargeant imagine #logan sargeant au #f1 #f1 social media au #f1 smau #f1 x reader #instagram au #f1 imagine #social media au #alex albon #saturn writes

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theodoraflowerday · 1 year ago

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heartstopper s2e5 live episode reaction

I'm literally watching this at work

FUCK U STEPHANE

oh my god jskfjdlfjf

DID I DO THAT? hskfjskfjdkfj nick WHO ELSE

dya think anyone will notice? - I think everyone will notice LMAO

"I don't even know how to do that" BITCH YOU SURE AS HELL DO

"I really enjoyed it a lot" WHOREEEEEEEEE

JSKFJDKFJDKFUDKFJ IM

oh. OH. MY GOD. YOU. I CANNOT BELIEVE IT

TAOJFKFJFKFJFLFJFKFJDLFJDLFJ

WE WILL BE HAVING WORDS

ok what are you gonna tell him tho. that's his boyfriend he can give him hickeys if he wants to lol

oh my god I can't stop laughing

tao is the definition of struggs to func

"I blame nick entirely" "that's fair" oh he's so proud dbskfudlfjdlgkfl

"I was also involved" JSKDJDKFJDKFB

oh my god this is so funny

QWASOW

[tom holland voice] quackson

oh my god they're so fuckin nasty stop talking about it

I mean..... obviously you know it wasn't me

JSKFJDLFJDLGJFLGIFLGGJLF I love this show so much

I want to make mr farouk's QUIEEEET my ringtone I feel like it'd really spice up my life

I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ARSE RUDEBOY GROW UP AAJAJSKSKSKSLSISOSISLSKELDKDLSKD

YOUSSEF FAROUK YOU ARE THE GREATEST

oh my god isaac coming for harry that's so sjfldjfkdjjff

CHARLIE AND JAMES THAT'S SO CUTE

they're so cute I hope we can keep james

darcy oh my god stop that

OH LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO

if I were nick I'd laugh at his face idc

or punch him I think both are valid options

[bugs bunny in a suit] I wish ben hope a very death

LAUGH AT HIM PUNCH HIM DO SOMETHINGGGGGGG

DO SOMETHING OH MY GOD STOP THIS PSYCHOPATH FROM SPEAKING FUCK

oh that's a psychopath idc

actually there's an olivia rodrigo song that explains it

tag yourself I'm darcy

oh I know sarah's gonna love that

WHAT IF IT WAS. ARE YOU JEALOUS?

COME ON YOUVE GOT YOUR OWN PROBLEMS HARRYSHFJDYFUDYFJFJFKFJDJFJDKFKFKFKDKF

"you do know it WAS me, right?" LMAO NICK

oh my god you whores stop looking at each other like that my LORD

BABY TAO AND BABY CHARLIE IM GONNA KILL MYSELF NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

not charlie writing down his and tao's name on the lock my god this show is EVERYTHING

oh my god I'm crying lmao

nick nelson has done more for taoelle than the rest of the group combined my GOD he really took it upon himself to get those two together

he genuinely thinks he still has a chance to get back w you - he doesn't LMAOOOOOOO wreck that bitch

oh my god tara and darcy are fuckin killing me my god TALK

oh no

oh no no

oh charlie no

no charlie

oh no

OH MY GOD ELLE

I too would kiss him just to shut him up jdkfudogudlfj

OH FUCK ME THAT'S SO CUTE

mr farouk fist bumping charlie sjdksk oh he's so

I was literally picking at my skin at the same time charlie was rubbing his arm like that ohoho it's mental illness innit

I want to hug charlie so hard jesus christ

"I'm your boyfriend, charlie, and I -" SAY IT. OUT LOUD. SAY IT.

THAT I LOVINGLY CARRIED FOR YOU ALL DAY

MY GOD JUST SAY IT FUCK

CHARLIE'S FACE OH MY GOODNESS

oh that boy is down BAD Y'ALL

oh my god HIS FACE

MON AMOUR OH TMTKFLFJ

YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE YOU'RE CRINGING YOU ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE YOU'RE BLUSHING AAHAKSJSKDKSLSKSLSKSL

I can't believe they're actually meeting nick's dad that's so.......

but also he's so relatable

god I love this show so fucking much idk what to do with my life

#hs livenats #heartstopper spoilers #heartstopper s2 spoilers

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ghosttownwherenoonegoes · 2 years ago

Text

Nyctophobia (fear of the dark) // e.m x gn!reader

Summary: Eddie finds out that you're scared of the dark. You have a main nightlight, back-up fairylights, you need music too and you have a room circuit which must be completed or you cannot and will not sleep. Though you hide it well, all it takes is one careless moment to take you down. Lucky for you, Eddie is incredibly understanding, easily adaptable and immediately accepting.

Soft, fluff, self-indulgent (because yes, adults with nyctophobia exist and I refuse to be ashamed of it but sometimes a bit of validation is needed). Opens with discussions of nyctophobia - the hows, the whys, etc., and comes from my own personal experiences so what's relevant to me may not be to you, and that's okay! I hope you enjoy either way.🥰💖

Word count: 4, 106.

Warnings/content features: nyctophobia, crying (reader), swearing, anxiety so intense reader feels sick (but isn't physically ill), Fear of the Dark by Iron Maiden came out in 1992 but we're gonna pretend it came out in '86 because it's perfect for this scenario and it's the song which taught me to not be ashamed of my nyctophobia, so it gets a special mention! Established relationship, fluff, comfort, reader is early/mid 20s, reader initially keeps their nyctophobia a secret from Eddie (this fic is about him finding out about it), pet names (sweetheart, love, maybe some others), alcohol (they cracked some beers open then forgot about them, I guess? I just needed some connective exposition idk), mentions of being kissed so hard you can feel teeth through skin.

Fic specific tags: @the-slasher-madame @munsonsmel0dy @dumb-gemini @akwzilla @stephanie-lkj @thruheavenandhighwater @heavnswrld @devilcherryhot @alliecheer007-88 @dreaming-of-fictional-characters @seidenbros @livslifeonline @eddiemunsonshoney @aliceraered @moonlighting87 @wroteclassicaly

General e.m tags: @eddiebunson @hersweetrevenge @sweetpeapod @sabbathsworld @hawkinsroyaloutcast @alliecheer007-88

(SEND AN ASK TO BE ADDED TO MY TAGLIST - I ONLY WRITE FOR EDDIE)

You had always been afraid of the dark.

Always.

There had never been a day, as far back as you could remember, during which you hadn't dreaded with every fibre of your being the inevitable descent of the night. The sunlight hours made you itchy, the knowledge that it would be dark soon hanging over you and making you feel like you couldn't relax. Making you feel like you were in danger, because in just a few hours, all those familiar corners in all those familiar rooms would be filled with shadows, and the monsters inside your head would come out to play.

You never joined in with their games, because you had multiple ways to keep the darkness at bay.

Mainly, you made sure you were never exposed to darkness.

Before the sky had a chance to bleed into darker hues of purples and blues, you already had your curtains shut and the lights turned on. It was easier for you to acclimatise to the night time if you weren't able to see it get dark. Over the course of the evening, you would swap out the overhead light for slightly dimmer fairylights, and half an hour before bed, you exchanged those for your nightlight, which was dimmer still but the perfect level for you.

Light enough to see, dark enough to sleep.

Was how you explained it to yourself, and to anyone who asked - though there were few, for you protected this secret fiercely. You weren't ashamed of it any more - you had learned better than that years ago - but you also didn't see the need to advertise it. It was just something you dealt with alone every night. You knew what worked for you, what scared you, what soothed you, and you didn't stray from those intimate pieces of knowledge about yourself. You wouldn't - couldn't. You'd been too scared for too long now and you knew that this fear wasn't going anywhere; you had tried and failed many a time over the years to 'rid' yourself of it.

You had always been afraid of the dark and you would always be afraid of the dark.

So why not accommodate it every step of the way?

That had been your mentality since you were a teenager and you were sticking to it. Life was easier when you were on your own side. You had managed to avoid Eddie finding out so far; you always went home from his place before it got dark, you never stayed the night, you never went anywhere with him late in the evening. You spent hours with Eddie during the day but the moment the sky showed signs of getting dark, you were leaving. If he managed to convince you to stay just for a while longer, then you made sure to stay where there was light, and to stay as physically close to him as you could, your every nerve alight with tension. Eddie had picked up on certain things ever since you had gotten together but he didn't have enough information to really assemble the puzzle pieces, and that was just how you had wanted it to be. It wasn't that you didn't want to tell him, it's just that it had never come up in a natural conversation, and you didn't want to make a deal out of it by mentioning it yourself.

Unfortunately for you, that decision was taken out of your own hands due to a split second of carelessness. You had gotten 'too' relaxed around Eddie, because not only had you neglected to consider the time but you had also completely forgotten that Eddie didn't know. It wasn't until he began to turn on the small lights in his room and shut his curtains that you were forced to remember where you were, what the time was, and the situation you were now in. You didn't fully grasp the circumstances until half an hour later when you had almost forgotten yourself again - Eddie had a wonderful knack for being able to pull you out of your own head with such subtlety that you didn't even realise he was reaching inside until he already had you beside him on the outside.

"Hey, uh, wanna go grab us some beers to go with Ozzy? They're ~ , " Eddie trailed off, scratching the back of his head sheepishly, "I think second shelf?" The upward lilt of his voice turned it into a question and you smiled.

"Sure, I got it."

You swung the door open, took a step, and stopped dead halfway through the doorway, your body frozen in place, your mind racing. "Oh. Oh, fuck."

There was something in your voice which caught Eddie's attention - it was breathy, not at all how you normally sounded. He had never heard you like that. He almost dropped the Black Sabbath vinyl he was cradling reverently in his hands as he snapped his head around to look at you. "Y/N?"

"Mm-mm. Nope." You shook your head fiercely, already feeling the hot sting of tears. "No, no no - " You stepped back once, twice, three times, and shrieked when your back met a solid warm wall.

"Whoa, whoa, hey, hey," Eddie's words left him in one breath, "easy, Y/N," his hands gripped your upper arms as he pulled you to stand flush against his chest. His hands slid down your arms until they wound around your waist; Eddie hugging you to him. "Didn't mean to scare you. You okay?"

You tried to nod, to lie, you did, but you had already exposed this much of yourself. What was a little more? You shook your head and turned your face away from the scariest sight of that day: pitch blackness outside of Eddie's bedroom door.

"What's wrong?" Eddie turned you in his arms, his dark brows creased.

"It's - i-it's... Eddie, I can't go out there. Won't." You were shaking your head, crying harder now, and Eddie tilted his head at you. Dark curls lightly brushed across the strong slopes of his shoulders as he examined your body language, your extreme physical response to the open door, the late hour, your general avoidance of being anywhere other than in your own bedroom once it got dark...

Oh.

"Oh, sweetheart," Eddie almost cooed, "you nyctophobic or something like that?"

All you had left in you was a nod. You looked over your shoulder, your breath caught in your throat and you jammed your eyes shut. "Don't like it." Your voice was thick with tears and you whimpered, turned away from the open door. You couldn't even bring yourself to open your eyes, your forehead growing so hot from the inside that it felt like you were going to be sick.

"All right, easy," Eddie's hands cradled your face, "keep those eyes closed, yeah? If they're shut, you can't see it's dark so you won't get scared, right?"

There was, admittedly, some logic in that idea, and it made you smile.

"Trusting you, Eddie."

A kiss was pressed to your forehead. A solemn oath.

"You're safe here, I promise," Two hands moved down your neck, down your arms, down, down, until Eddie could take your hands with his. His fingers interlocked with yours, intent on walking with you to turn on the hallway light. You held your ground, your arm yanking in its socket as Eddie was already a few paces closer to the door. When he looked back at you, he didn't force you to move by tugging or by showing impatience. He came back to your side, his thumb stroking slowly across the back of your hand, and smiled gently, "Trusting me, right?" His dark eyes roamed over your body, reading you as best as he could.

You nodded. Your breath hitched in your throat and Eddie held your eyes with his as you breathed in, out, finding safety in Eddie. He always had a way of making you feel so alive, so comfortable within yourself as he guided you into your place in the world, his hands over yours as you held the knife with which you carved it out. Beside him was where you felt most at home. "Wh-where's the light switch?"

Eddie smiled softly. "Just down the hall, Y/N. Only a couple steps. Keep those eyes closed and your hand in mine, yeah? Don't wanna take you out there," his admission was sheepish, dark eyes fixed on you, "and m'sorry but I also don't wanna leave you all alone when you're so scared."

Your lips twitched into a fond smile as the way he enunciated but made it sound as he had that day in the cafeteria as you said, "I'm following you into Mordor, Eddie." Even with the imposing darkness looming right behind him, in your direct line of vision, Eddie seemed like an angel to you. You were scared, your body trembling, heart racing, palms a little sweaty, mind racing, nausea settling over you like a cloak, but you wanted to be brave. You wanted to step out there for Eddie, because of Eddie, even though every nerve in your body screamed to shut down, to curl up in a ball on the bed and not move until morning.

"Sweetheart, I'd follow you anywhere."

You realised distantly that Eddie was distracting you with light conversation (though his words were steeped in truth), but you let him. As you both crossed the threshold, a whimper escaped you, but Eddie didn't shush you. He let you express yourself, his hand tight in yours, fingers squeezing as his other hand trailed along the wall, searching for the light. It reminded him of the Iron Maiden song Fear of the Dark, which was ironically one of your favourites. You often sung along to it when it came on the radio, though it struck Eddie then that you never listened to it after the sun went down... You really had been telling on yourself this whole time, but no one had put the pieces together.

At the threshold of the living room, Eddie found the switch. "I got it, sweetheart. Got those eyes closed still?" His thumb rubbed over the back of your hand and you shuffled forward to press your forehead to the back of Eddie's Dio vest, needing him closer than close.

"Yep. Like I said, trusting you, Munson."

Your voice vibrated against his back and something in Eddie's chest ached at all the trust, all the vulnerability, you were displaying. He wondered if you realised how loudly your actions were showing your love for him. He hoped his own were saying the same. You were both screaming it at each other. "Good," he hummed, then more dramatically as he drew out the word, "Good."

His antics made you giggle; you could almost see the tilt of his head, the smirk playing at the corner of his plush lips, his intense stare. He flicked up the light, casting a warm glow across the hallway and chasing your fears away, though some anxiety still lingered. Sometimes it took you hours to calm down.

"Oh, would you look at that," Eddie chuckled, "you're lighting up my world."

You groaned, laughing. "That was so bad, Eddie, even for you."

"But it's true." Eddie used his hold on your hand to pull you into his body, wrapping his arms tight around you. "You can open your eyes now, Y/N. I got you." Gentle sways from side to side were accompanied with humming. He switched between songs so quickly that you couldn't pin one down before the tune changed, and you revelled in the chaos that was Eddie Munson, even when all the world was still and quiet. Oh, but he was so himself that it hurt.

Now that you were back in the light, you took a few steadying breaths, feeling your heart begin to slow down, and made your way to the fridge, grabbing the two cans which were, in fact, right where Eddie had said they would be. He had more beer than food in the fridge and you resolved to fix that issue. Tomorrow. When it was light again. When it was safe again.

But tonight... how were you going to get home? It would be dark, so dark, not just out on the streets but at home, and you didn't have a torch you could use to guide your way. Eddie could drive you but there was still the question of it being pitch black at home, and what about -

"Y/N?"

You blinked, snapped out of it.

"Hey, hi," Eddie's smile was tight around the edges, "where did you go, sweetheart?"

You shook your head, focusing on Eddie. He always chased it all away. "I just... I'm worried about getting home. It's dark, Eddie, and I - I don't have a torch or a ride, I don't know what - "

The look on Eddie's face shut you up. It wasn't a stare, but it wasn't just a look, either. It was... contemplative. Putting what he knew of you against the situation at hand, mind whirring to come up with a solution you would be comfortable with. "So stay here."

"I would, but I need - "

Eddie laughed, ecstatic to be uncovering one more section of the tapestry that was you, crossing his arms over his chest. "You got a whole routine, don't you, sweetheart?" He made his way over to the sofa and sat down, patting his lap. "C'mon then, lay it on me."

You hesitated but something in Eddie's eyes was reassuring and you went to him gladly, letting his arms wrap tightly around you. He rested his chin on your shoulder, hands locked around your waist, fingers playing with the hem of your shirt.

"What makes you feel the safest at night?" Kisses were pressed to the side of your face, the back of your head, your neck, fingers pulled at the collar of your shirt so Eddie's lips could find purchase there, too. You could hear how sincere he was; Eddie wanted to know. Straight away, he accepted your fears, he grounded you with touch and then started a conversation to get to understand you better... no one had ever done that for you before, and it made your heart ache with love for the man beneath you.

You told Eddie everything - about your nightlight, and the fairy lights you rarely used but they were your emergency light source for if the nightlight didn't work properly. You told him about the music you preferred to fall asleep to, and the albums from those bands which you cycled through depending on that night's mood. You told him about your comfort items, and you finished up with, "but, honestly, you make me feel safest. If you hadn't been here tonight, I would've just... curled up in bed and not moved until morning. But you made me want to be brave and I feel so safe here with you and you're..." Don't say it, Y/N, let it be.

You should have remembered that Eddie was like a dog with a bone when he wanted to say something. His arms squeezed around you in encouragement and he nosed at the hollow underneath your ear; he always knew when you needed a little extra something.

"You're..." You sighed, closed your eyes, leaned back into Eddie. You knew he'd stabilise you against him. "The amount of times I've had all my comforts, but something hasn't felt right because you're missing from my space. And even your room is one of my favourite places to be, but it's not... it's not right unless you're there too." You paused, considering, and took one more plunge. Why not? "I just..." You stood up from Eddie's lap and ignored his protests as you turned around and plopped yourself down so that you were facing him. You felt like he needed to see you as you said what was on your mind. His arms were back around you so fast it was like you had never left his embrace. "You're my ultimate comfort, Eddie."

I only feel safe when I'm with you was at the core of what you were saying but you knew, you knew that Eddie would hear what you said, listen to what you didn't, and it was those things he would respond to. If anyone else had said even half the things you had tonight, Eddie would have initially assumed that they were joking or embellishing the truth. He never meant that much to anyone... except you. He took your words at face value, found himself not questioning a single word. Eddie trusted you as much as you trusted him and he tried to meet you vulnerability for vulnerability as he pressed into you until you wrapped your arms around him and squeezed.

"You always find new ways to tell me you love me, Y/N." A hushed awe in Eddie's voice as he leaned forward to rest his forehead against yours. You pressed into the way you were sat on his lap, hugging him to you so tight that you could feel his heart pounding against your chest. "Do you want to stay the night? I don't want to make you uncomfortable but it is pretty late now and I have some small lights we can use, I've got pillows you can hug, I've got..." Eddie chuckled, "You've got me, so, uh - " he shrugged as he trailed off as if to say, 'it's not much' but he was wrong.

It - he - was everything.

"I..." Tell him about the room check. "Please, if it's no bot - "

"Don't even think about finishing that sentence, sweetheart." A dark look crossed over Eddie's eyes and you took the warning for what it was. He had done so much work with you to get you to stop apologising for every little thing - including apologising too much - and at this stage of your relationship, it should have been something you long stopped saying. It slipped through sometimes, but Eddie was always there to firmly remind you that you were wanted, loved, and certainly no bother. Not to him, not to Wayne, nor to anyone else who mattered.

"Then, yes please!"

As you and Eddie got ready for bed - with Eddie finding you a Hellfire Club shirt to sleep in (not his shirt, but a shirt which you were comfortable in) - you did your best to complete a room check without giving it away. You had omitted this part of your night time routine; you felt embarrassed doing it alone in your room every night, so with Eddie there too? No, you didn't want him to know. You kept glancing at his back as you ducked down to look under the desk, swept a hand under the bed to check for anything which shouldn't be there - demons, corporeal ghosts, your mind helpfully supplied itself. You bit down on the rising panic as you continued, checking ceiling corners for spiders or other insects, eyes examining the walls for anything which hadn't been there earlier on...

"Room safe enough, sweetheart?"

You jumped, spun around to see Eddie leaning against the closed doorway with his arms folded over his chest, dark eyes soft under the low lighting of his bedroom. You could tell by the look on his face that he knew what you were doing, and he had been stood waiting for you to finish to your satisfaction, even without having his thoughts officially confirmed. Fuck, he was so beautiful, inside and out, and for what? "I - yeah, it's - I didn't mean anything by it, Eddie, I swear, I was just - "

"Scoping it out." He nodded, smiling at you softly. "It's okay, Y/N. I want you to be comfortable and if that means doing a scare-sweep," his hands spoke for him as they usually did, "then by all means. Just know you're safe here. I promise."

You held your hand out. Eddie stepped forward to take it instantly, his fingers interlocking with yours, and the two of you got into his bed. "I know, Eddie, I know." And then, "You're safe with me, too. Wouldn't let anyone or anything hurt you."

"I know." Eddie hummed, pressing a kiss to your cheek as he pulled you into his arms. He didn't tell you that the lights outside the bedroom were switched off apart from one in the kitchen, which he happened to know was the brightest in the entire trailer. You had been more absorbed in your room circuit than Eddie knew you were aware of, and it had been quite endearing to watch you take all the steps you needed to feel safe in your environment. It meant that you felt comfortable enough to be scared, in a strange way, and to show and then soothe that fear at the same time. Eddie thought it brave of you. His brave Y/N.

Eddie the Banished and Y/N the Brave... it had a nice ring to it.

"So, uh," you and Eddie laid with your foreheads pressed together, legs tangled up under the sheets, wearing matching Hellfire Club shirts, and arms around each other, "can I ask what you're so afraid of? Like, was it a horror film which got you good, or...?" Eddie trailed off, looking at you with affection so blatant that you had to remind yourself to breathe.

"I've... never really figured out why. I just... don't like it." Eddie snorted at the understatement - it was the second time you'd said that about your phobia and Eddie wondered if he needed to speak with you about the way you always minimised your own emotions. Perhaps tomorrow. You smiled, "I never have. I used to force myself to sleep in total black, thinking I'd 'get over it'," you nodded in agreement at Eddie's frown, offended on your past self's behalf, "but it only got worse the older I got. So I figured, why not lean into it and give myself whatever comfort helps me sleep?"

"So that's why the... the lights, the music, the room sweep, the comfort pillow..." Eddie's hands announced each new item and you watched them, mesmerised.

"Exactly. I know there's no demons under the bed, but I still feel the need to check, you know?"

"There's knowing, right, and then there's knowing."

You groaned in appreciation. "Yes, Eddie. God, you get me so well."

"I should hope so." He laughed, booped your nose. "It's pretty fuckin' metal of you, to face your fears every night."

"Metal?"

"Yeah," Eddie's nod was fierce as he tried to push closer into you; close was never enough. "You know you're gonna be scared but you face it because there's no choice, right? That's so metal."

"Sounds like someone else I know... always doing things he doesn't want to, just because he knows he should... He's braver than he gives himself credit for."

Eddie had no real response to that. He only held you tighter, tipped his head back so his lips could find purchase on your forehead, feathering lightly and then so hard that you could feel the outline of his teeth through his skin. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, Eddie." A pause, wondering how to say it. But then, all you had done tonight was expose yourself to Eddie, so it seemed pointless to rehearse now. "Thank you for protecting me. For letting me check out the room and for keeping on a light. For being here, for being you."

Eddie wondered what you had eaten that day to make you so talkative, so open, but he refused to question it. He longed to be close to you, in all things and in all ways, and tonight could not have gone better if he had planned it. You had opened up so beautifully and Eddie was desperate to find the opportunity to do the same with you, to show you pieces of him he had never shown to anyone. It would be a quiet thank you for tonight; you really were so brave.

Eddie kissed your forehead again, settling down to go to sleep. Your eyes drifted closed for the final time that night as Eddie said, "Anytime, sweetheart." It was another solemn oath, forged in the fires of a love that burned so hot all either of you could do was let yourselves experience it. After all, a flame shared is a flame doubled.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson comfort #nyctophobia comfort #stranger things 4 x reader #stranger things x reader

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