#i wasn't even trying to pass

[shia176]

At my university when you go to PE, you give the doorperson your student card and in exchange you get a locker key - and today, they just looked at me and gave me a key to the girls' room's lockers 🥹

[epicfirestormer]

What I love about Hellboy and Abe Sapien's dynamic in the comics is that, if you came into this blind, you'd expect Abe to be the voice of reason or the straight man to Hellboy's impulsive and hotheaded personality. But no, Abe is more often than not the crazy one. Hellboy would deal with fighting evil monsters and bad guys by just sighing and getting it over with, while Abe is going rabid over tearing the creature apart when he does get into a fight. Hellboy acts like it's a 9-to-5 job and will reasonably talk things out with a guy that had nearly killed him before, Abe acts like a madman in a slaughter house and his first instinct is to shoot first kill second and ask third. They're both insane, but on completely different levels.

[ffcrazy15]

"Oh so when James Kirk refuses to believe in no-win scenarios it's 'changing the conditions of the test' and 'commendable original thinking,' but when I, Bradward Boimler, can't accept the possibility of failure and retake the Kobiyashi Maru sixteen times–"

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 32

PREV

He had the first week back from Thanksgiving break off from both classes and practice.

The week off of classes leaves FF feeling like getting stabbed has been a net positive experience for him.

First he feels like it really cemented the apparent friendship he had with at least Andrew and Neil. Second, he technically had a job offer in his Freshman year. Third, and most important, his language professor who had wanted him to come and speak to his gen-ed Latin class of over 100 students told him not to worry about it and that he had gotten one of FF’s friends to agree to the presentation instead.

His relief was so immediate and all-consuming that he hadn’t even had the energy to pretend he was upset that he had been replaced. Thankfully his teacher just chalked it up to relief that he wouldn’t have to stand up and present when his stomach was healing from the surgery.

Coach Wymack and Abby wouldn’t even let him go to the Court. Kevin had tried to argue quite a few times on Sunday when that decision had been made. Argued that he could sit in and watch for strategy purposes if nothing else.

However, even Kevin couldn’t guarantee that FF wouldn’t get accidentally run into / knocked against considering his complete lack of presence.

Matt had rushed into Abby’s house having made a bee-line for it upon reaching the airport.  “Smiths! You got stabbed!” Matt yelled as if informing him of his own predicament.

“Yeah.” FF agreed as if it were something that could have been debated.

“What happened?! Nicky just sent a pic of the flowers he got you and the card?” Matt had asked pulling his backpack off his shoulder and to his front as he unzipped it and rooted around for something before pulling out an orange envelope. “This is from me and Dan, you remember her right?” Matt had asked.

FF thought of quiet conversations he has overheard over the phone and not so quiet noises Matt makes when engaging in some phone sex with his girlfriend.

“Yes, I remember Dan.”  FF had said diplomatically and accepted the card.

The card was sitting on the nightstand at Abby’s house next to the card the Monsters, his grandma, other teammates, and some cards from friends he had made outside of Exy. It feels nice to look at the multiple cards all wishing him well.

His Grandma was going to stay for two weeks and Abby was being incredibly kind to put them up

He spent most of that week sleeping, spending time with his grandma, getting yelled at by Abby for trying to do chores, and spending time with the Foxes that came to visit him.

Nicky had come over to hang out every day without fail. Most of the upperclassmen who were on the original ‘miracle’ team of the Foxes stopped in to see him regularly. Even Jack stopped in to complain about how Captain Neil presented a danger to the rest of them before giving him a Get Well Soon card and leaving.

It was a strangely thoughtful card that he’s near positive Jack’s girlfriend picked out for him. When the end of the week and the first game that FF would need to sit out from approached Coach Wymack asked if he wanted to come.

“You can’t play, but you’re still a Fox.” Wymack had said and his grandma had encouraged him to go and spend time with his friends. She’d hold down the fort for Abby, cook up a bunch of food for the the team to enjoy when they got back late.

So FF climbed onto the bus and sat next to Nicky who had declared himself FF’s bodyguard for the evening who’s safety he would only pass off to Coach Wymack during the game proper.

***

They’ve come so damn far from the worst team in the Division. His kids are thriving and because of that he’s gotten a larger budget. A larger budget to better help his kids with. David would be lying if he said he didn’t spend some nights wishing he could tell himself of a few years ago just how good it would get.

Still, the match is a lot closer than it should be.

He looks to his side and sees FF sitting there watching the game with rapt attention.

He looks as Sheena fumbles a pass that his newest problem child had mastered the timing of a month before. He sees Kevin’s shoulders go up in anger but Neil’s quick reflexes save it before the play is fully fumbled.

Neil makes a feint to pass to Kevin and the goal lights up putting them in the lead by 2 goals. David thinks of the numerous plays that would have gone smoother with the kid next to him playing instead of Sheena but there was no point in wishing for things that couldn’t be.

FF wouldn’t be playing until the Spring Championships started up and David would need to address FF’s medical hiatus and Lisa’s ‘family emergency’ that had her leaving the team.

It always stung when a Fox left but it hurt less when it was of their own volition instead of in a body bag.

He looks to the side again and thinks of the numerous decisions he had needed to make as Kevin slept in the car on the way to the hospital. Honestly, if he still was thinking about going after the hospital.

How the fuck did the hospital just leave the damn kid in a hallway for over an hour? He hates the thought of FF laying there in pain and bleeding watching as people went by.

He’s grateful that the kid didn’t seem to remember it.

He wasn’t going to mention it to any of the other Foxes, not even FF if he could swing it. He has no doubt that at the very least Andrew and Neil would go on a rampage and he’s near positive that Kevin would take special delight in it considering a week on he was still bitching about what he had seen in the Nutritionist office.

He’s not sure what Nicky would do but he knows it’d give him a headache.

Nicky takes a hard hit that has him subbed out for one of the freshman backliners. Nicky’s a little woozy and Abby confirms a very slight concussion that she’ll keep an eye on during the trip back.

They win by slimmer margins than they should but it’s to be expected.

“Coach Wymack?” FF asks.

“What’s up?” David asks.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom. It...uh...well it takes a while now.” FF says and David can read the embarrassment.

“Meet us at the bus. Be careful.” he orders.

FF nods and heads off.

Neil and Matt are on press duty and David preps the press to let them know about FF and Lisa. There are some questions about what kind of medical hiatus but David declined to answer knowing that Neil and Matt wouldn’t let it slip either.

His last two players get showered and on the bus.

He does a count and gets the correct number and starts the bus.

They’re just about to get on the highway when there’s a shout, “Wait! Where’s Smithy?!” Nicky exclaims full volume over the general conversation that had been going on throughout the bus.

David frowns, he had counted-

Abby. He had counted Abby’s head next to Nicky.

“Oh god dammit.” he says.

***

FF looked at where the bus should have been waiting for him.

He closes his eyes and hopes that the bus will appear between blinks. 

He opens his eyes again and finds...nope just fans milling about heading to their own cars and home. He gives a hopeful look across the parking lot wondering if the bus maybe just got moved back somewhere so that they could get out easier after he went and made them wait?

A lot of people. Some kids. Some disappointed Belmonte fans. Some excited Fox fans. Some general Exy fanatics who were discussing what the Belmonte team would need to do to stay in  for the Spring Championships.

No Palmetto State Fox team bus.

He swallows a bit of disappointment and moves past it.

He pulled up his phone to plug in Abby’s house and saw that it would be a 4 day hike from Belmonte. He looked down at his shoes contemplating if they’d make the over 300 miles of walking. The doctors and Abby had been very clear not to do too much exercise but surely it wouldn’t count since he was just going to walk? They said walking was fine right?

FF sighed at the thought.

Yeah, it wasn’t going to work.

His stomach hurts at the thought of a 5 hour car ride. Maybe there was a bus station nearby and he could make his way back via greyhound.

He was looking at his phone again when it started to ring and Nicky’s face was on his screen to let him know who the caller was.

He hit the answer button, “Hello-“

There was an inhale and FF had been on the receiving end of this quite a few times at this point so he held his phone the entire length of his arm away from his ear, “SMITHY, ARE YOU ON THE BUS OR DID WE FORGET YOU?!” Nicky screeches and it hurts his ears even from an entire arms length away. He wonders how in the world Nicky can stand being that loud with his minor concussion.

He stares at his phone dubiously for a few moments, worried that Nicky may shout again.

“Smithy?! Smithy?” He hears Nicky’s not quite as loud but very concerned voice. FF decides to bite the bullet.

“Hello Nicky, I am not on the bus.” He says.

“We fucking LEFT SMITHY!” Nicky yells and FF can hear a collective groan from across the line.

He may even hear Coach Wymack yelling something about ‘again’ and feels shame burn in his stomach. He should have just held in his pee. He hadn’t really needed to go that badly and it’s not like Coach Wymack doesn’t take bathroom breaks.

“It’s okay.” He rushes to assure Nicky. “I can…grab a bus or something. You don’t need to come back, I’m-“

“Young man, if you say that you’re fine I can not be held responsible for what I will do when I see you in the next 20 minutes.” Nicky threatens. “I also can’t be held responsible for what I’ll do to Neil since I feel like he’s infected you somehow.” He says.

He hears a distant “Hey” followed by an even more distant “Man, I hate to say it but I think he’s right.”

“I don’t want to bother you.” He says.

“Smithy, you are so far from a bother it is insane. How about I stay on the line with you okay?” Nicky asks but something has caught his eye.

Two kids haven’t moved as the rest of the world continued to. He watched as they clung to one another and no one seemed to take notice of them. He doesn’t understand how anyone could miss them with the bright orange children’s jerseys they had on. One sporting 01 - Josten and the other 10 - Josten on the backs.

“That’s okay Nicky. Call me when you’re close.” He says and makes his way over.

He can see the little boy’s hand holding the little girl’s hand tightly and is careful to walk around them in a way so that he wouldn’t appear out of nowhere. “Hey,” he squatted down to their height and the little boy still jumped slightly, dropping a small book to the ground, and the little girl hid her face in his shoulder. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I just noticed you looked a little lost.” He says and his muscles won’t pull in a way to offer a reassuring smile but he hopes he can convey it through his tone.

The little boy visibly swallows down nervous spit, “I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.” He says holding on tighter to the little girl.

“Smart, continue to do that.” He says immediately, “Can you just nod yes or no for me?” He asks instead.

The boy thinks for a long moment before nodding affirmatively.

“Great, good job.” He says, “Did you come to the stadium with your parents?” He asks

A nod in the affirmative.

“Do your parents know where you are?” He asks.

He shakes his head in a negative.

“Are you lost?” He asks.

Another negative.

“So you mean to be right here?”  He wants to clarify.

A nod in the affirmative this time.

FF takes a moment to piece together what he knows and looks down at the book.

An autograph book. “Oh, you wanted to get an autograph from Captain Neil?” he asks.

The little boy looks up but it’s the little girl who answers. She finally takes her face out from his shoulder. FF’s eyes can’t help but see the large burn scar on her cheek but also see how her eyes sparkle with delight, “You know Captain Josten?!” she exclaims in delight.

“Millie!” The young boy says. “He’s a stranger!” he hisses.

“Nu-uh!” she shakes her head, “Number 13!” she points at his jersey he had worn in solidarity. “He passes to Captain Josten!” she says brightly. “See Brandon?” she smiles.

It could just be a fan jersey though FF highly doubts that anyone would buy fan merch for him. He is no Kevin Day, Captain Neil Josten, or Andrew Minyard.

Still the little boy, Brandon, looks at him with wide eyes, “You’re Smith?” he asks.

“Yeah.” FF nods, “Captain Neil is my Captain.” he says.

“I love Captain Josten! I wanna marry him!” Millie says and FF can’t help but wonder if Andrew would squash such adorable competition. “His face is like mine!” she giggles.

“Yeah, your face is as cool as Captain Neil’s is.” FF agrees with completely sincerity.

“We came out here to get Captain Josten’s signature” Brandon says with a pout, “All the adults were in the way and it was...kind of scary.” he admits with a flush.

A thought occurs to him. He doesn’t want to leave these kids and brave the crowds to find someone to announce the lost kids. It would only be about 12 more minutes before the bus comes. Coach Wymack would be able to help and...

“They’re coming to pick me up pretty soon. How about we stay right here and we can get Captain Neil’s autograph together?” he asks.

Both kids light up at the idea. “Really?” they both ask.

“Yeah, I also want Captain Neil’s autograph.” he says because he does. He’s wanted Captain Neil’s autograph for AGES but had been too awkward to ask. Then Greg had come and made it seem like FF would want it just to sell it or something.

Now he has the perfect excuse.

***

David pulled into the spot he had left almost half an hour ago and barely managed to put the bus into park before most of his more senior players were prying the door open to go look for FF.

Nicky had called but FF hadn’t picked up and it had set his more paranoid players’ teeth on edge.

The only one that stayed on the bus was Nicky since Abby had a firm grip on him.

David sighed and told everyone else to stay put before exiting the bus and began the herculean effort of trying to spot FF in a crowd.

It actually wasn’t too hard as he found his players standing and watching as FF crouched with his back to them as two little kids in orange Fox jerseys were re-enacting something for him.

He’d be tempted to let them keep going if he didn’t remember Abby’s list of specific things FF shouldn’t do with his still healing stomach and squatting like that was definitely on the list.

“Smith.” he says and watches as the Freshman jolts and tips over, thankfully onto his side, from his squatted position.

The kids get nervous when they see him but then their eyes both lock on Neil’s face. For a moment his heart aches for his player, plenty of kids have cried about Neil’s scars but then his eyes land on the little girl’s face more properly and...

Oh...

Those are stars in her eyes. David looks at the two different Josten kids jerseys that the Palmetto store had released.

FF recovers from his tumble admirably, “Coach Wymack,” he says getting up onto his feet. “These two are lost, can you see if there’s a way to contact their parents?” he asks.

David nods and pulls out his phone and steps away slightly.

He watches over the interaction that happens next.

**

As promised, FF had taken the awkward lead of asking for it and had them form a line. It had been weird but he watched as understanding dawned in Captain Neil’s eyes as he saw the two Josten jerseys. It had felt even less weird to get Captain Neil’s autograph when Matt had jokingly gotten in line behind Brandon because he too wanted Captain Neil’s autograph.

FF felt a little bad that Captain Neil had been so flustered by the requests but at least he finally had the Captain Neil autograph he’d wanted since last March. It also felt nice when Captain Neil had smiled the way he did at Millie when she babbled about how they matched.

Andrew had bumped into him in the way that FF was learning meant that he was pleased with whatever FF had just done. Kevin and Aaron had been the ones to ask if his stitches were okay after his startled tumble.

Millie and Brandon’s parents were incredibly grateful and swore to continue to be lifelong fans of the Foxes. Millie and Brandon themselves had been more excited about their Captain Neil Josten autographs than being reunited with their parents. They had waved goodbye with Millie loudly proclaiming that her and Captain Neil would get married someday.

Climbing onto the bus he was subjected to a check over by Abby when both Kevin and Aaron dragged him to her. Then he was sat down next to Nicky who shoved him into the window seat and cuddled up. “I won’t lose track of you if I’m on you.” was his logic.

The bus ride resumed.

“I didn’t know you liked kids.” Nicky says head on FF’s shoulder. “I’ve watched you go to the other side of the street to avoid middle school kids.” he adds.

FF feels ice in his stomach.

“Middle school kids are mean.” FF says and doesn’t properly answer the question but Nicky is just concussed enough to not call him on it.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

NEXT

Like I said in my last part I will be tagging people separate from the actual update going forward. Still any requests to be added to the tag list feel free to put in the replies here.

[chaoticlandworlder]

The official Mclaren account adding fuel to the fire... disgusting

[self-indulgent-paw-patrol]

Paw Patrol Appreciation Week 2024

Friday - Catchphrase

Rocky first heard the phrase “Don't lose it, reuse it!” on TV, when the news was showing something about a recycle fair when he was still a puppy in training. He liked the sound of it.

As for “Green means go!” I bet he heard that one when Chase was studying traffic laws XD

[tj-crochets]

Crafting update: I had the day off work, so I ran some errands and overdid it enough that my heart rate was acting up, so I decided it was a "sit and crochet" kind of day, except I overdid that too so now I have an almost-finished crocheted cauldron and a blister attempting to form on my finger, so no more crochet for me for a few days lol

[funkbun]

oh shit art fight's over n i only got 9 attacks done </3. ah well there's always next year

[pretentious-art]

Delight and her devil simp (future bf)

[dudeshusband]

Title: I Am Standin' in A 1950s Gymnasium

Words: 590

Ship: Mike x Bill Baker

Warnings: period-typical sexism

Description: Bill and Mike go to Ridgeville's gymnasium.

Now that football season was over, and school started again, Bill spent his exercise time in Ridgeville’s gymnasium rather than the field. For some time, Mike had wanted to join him in this. They weren't allowed on the football field during practice, but they were allowed in the gym.

Bill wore the white t-shirt he wore to football practice, and his football pants to the gymnasium (he didn't own any other sweatpants). Mike didn't have any gym clothes, so they wore button up, overalls with shorts, and tennis shoes. Bill didn't have any extra clothes to offer them, as he was very poor and only owned four outfits himself (not including his football gear). All of his clothes fit into one drawer in his dorm.

The guys in the gym gave Mike a funny look on their way in. They were used to only seeing men there. Mike tried to pay them no mind. Bill slid a hand around their waist, and walked them to the pull up bar.

Bill removed his hand from Mike’s waist, rubbed his hands together, and reached up to the bar. He did a couple of pull ups, which Mike watched in a mixture of awe and attraction. He dropped down and turned back toward them.

He looked confused. “Don't you know how to do a pull up?”

“Yes, but I can't.”

He blinked. “You can't?”

He walked to them, but his big hands on each side of their waist, and lifted them to the bar. Mike turned as red as a cherry tomato.

“Better?” he asked.

Mike tried to organize their scrambled thoughts.

“Be- Better. Yeah.”

Mike still had a hard time lifting themselves, even with Bill’s assistance.

“Maybe I got ahead of myself,” Bill said. “Sorry. Let’s try the free weights, huh?”

Bill gently set them down, and Mike could think clearly again.

He walked over to the stand of weights. He almost grabbed one, before he thought better of it, and turned toward Mike.

“Mike, how much can you lift?” he called toward them.

Mike rubbed the back of their neck. “20? 30?”

“Each arm?”

“Uh, start with 10.”

Bill brought over both of the free weights like they were nothing at all, and maybe they weren't. Mike had never been a strong person.

“I don't lift a lot of free weights,” Mike said. “Just stuff around my parent’s place, you know? I’m not really sure.”

Mike lifted the 10s relatively easy.

They laughed. “Now I don't feel entirely pathetic.”

Bill waved his hand. “Well-”

He stopped himself.

“Well what?”

He scratched behind his head. “Nothing, nothing at all.” Bill looked almost embarrassed. “Sorry I’m still getting used to the whole ‘not a girl’ thing.”

Now Mike really wanted to know.

“What were you going to say?”

“Well, dames aren't supposed to be strong.”

Mike narrowed their eyes. “I might've thrown a dumbbell at your stupid head.”

“I would've deserved it.”

Mike waved their hand back toward the weights, “Now get me the 20s.”

The 20s were a good fit, so Bill was free to choose his own weights. Mike had to admit, Bill had all the makings of a jock. Handsome, athletic, and a little blockheaded at times.

He smiled at them, and they knew he meant well. They just had to trust him. And they were starting to.

The pair moved around the gym after a while, doing varying exercises. Bill was more adept at each one, but never made them feel bad about it. They were glad they’d gone with him.

[juanabaloo]

45 keeps avoiding consequences, or rather the system keeps letting him get away with it. like all power to the people and lawsuits that are pursuing him, but i want to see more.

why do we not have a law that you can't run for president if you try to hang the VP? like that seems like a simple rule. why do we allow people to run for president without an independent review of your medical conditions? why do we not have a law that if you lie about X you are ineligible? why do we allow people to run for president if they are on record as trying to steal / manipulate an election?

fuck this fucking Nazi piece of shit. they should have enacted a slew of new rules after 45 left (kicking and screaming) the White House. they did not. so here we fucking are.

and this doesn't even touch on other shit that i also support, like age limits, no lifetime appointments (SCOTUS), ban SCOTUS, no making money off the laws you pass, ban AIPAC.

[obstinatecondolement]

I am still in my feelings about that "I didn't transition to look like Elliot Page: I wanted to look like Hank Hill" thing because like?? Very fucking rude to Elliot Page first of all?? What the fuck is the subtext here? That he doesn't look enough like a "real" man and is some kind of dilettante who we shouldn't take seriously until he mans up, or something?

Also like... as far as I know Page is not attracted to men, but it feels vaguely homophobic? "I want to be a Normal Straight Man who looks like a Regular Guy not a fucking [slur redacted]" Like fuck off? And it had so many notes! How is policing the gender presentation of other transmasc people being so roundly fucking applauded, oh my god.

[mint-corset]

Genuinely asking, because I'm so conflicted on this emotion.

Is it normal to be a little pissed that someone hears something bad happen in the house (Like a loud noise of something breaking) and they call out "Are you okay" and proceed to not check on you. Like at all. No follow up.

And in my defense I really didn't respond because after the thing snapped and broke my brain had to catch up to anything that followed, and by the time I realized what happened I also realized "Oh wow thanks I guess I'm glad nothing worse happened and I'm not hurt or anything"

Like am I little irritated? Yes. Very much so. But I'm also not going to make it a problem. I'm just sorta silently sitting here wondering if maybe I'm just a neurotic bastard.

[laufire]

maybe we'd live in a different world if someone had sat the creative team of this is us down, held their hands and say. hey. hey. you know you don't have to write kevin and sophie together if you don't want to, right?

[popcorn-plots]

Me: I got a 25 on the ACT!

Mom: it won't get you into BYU, especially with your math grade the way it is.

Me: I have a 3.7 GPA, and I can always retake the ACT?

Mom: you're going to need a really good admissions essay if you want to get into BYU.

Me: thanks, mom.

[lasshoe]

okay i have a story i need to share bc why does shit like this randomly happen to me lmfao i was at a concert, alone, sitting next to this couple and in between acts the girl got up to use the restroom and the guy was chatting with me in what i thought was just small talk, asking about the main act, but then he told me that he made the mistake of going to a concert, this concert, as a first date and that it was not going well. then he proceeded to point blank ask me out by asking what my boyfriend was doing tonight and i was like wow very bold of you to ask someone out on a date while you're on a date and he said this other girl was fine but when he sees a beautiful woman like me he couldn't pass up the opportunity like damn what happened to couth. then i politely declined and started laughing awkwardly to myself when the girl immediately came back to sit between us like what did i miss. thankfully i was saved by the bell because the usher told me i was actually in the row behind my real seat so i got to move but not without him making a comment about how i'm "trouble" as i was exiting the aisle like sir [carrie bradshaw voice] you're middle aged!!!!!!!! literally help ajkhefihaifhaiofhaoihf it was wild!!!!!