#i was very rude to triss

[melorawrsss]

My continued torture of Triss has reminded me of the endless torment I put npcs that I don't like through. I remember the pain I put Mercer Frey through, in Skyrim. If npcs had souls, I'm sure this one thought it was in hell. I just kept making him walk through all the traps over and over again, resetting them everytime. I got everyone to aggro on me and then run up to him and disappear, as I had about 4 different ways to go invisible. I just kept popping in and out of visibility just to get more and more draugrs to pile onto him. And then I'd reload and do it again. This poor npc, all his crime was being programmed to be an asshole, but that was enough to commit to a horrible fate.

[northernolddragon]

"Took a lot of work. They're both quite fast and elusive, even for a vampire." "They shouldn't have crossed the path of that elven sorceress. Why does a vampire who tries to pretend to be human get into trouble as much as a witcher who was human before and partly still is?" "I guess they're not from evil." "I guess they shouldn't have pissed off that sorceress." "May I ask what you're up to, my elven comrade?" "I was trying to identify the spell she used. The elves have several sections on turning into animals in several volumes, and by elimination to select those that turn vampires into such creatures." "Oh, Dettlaff was harder for me. Geralt was more.. gentle." "Hmm. Maybe I found it. When I was turned into Uma, the spell was about the same composition and the same complex schematic design." "Thank you for your help, Avallac'h. I confess I was thinking about telling Yen or Triss, but remembering Geralt's stories about your transformation, I decided that your concern would be more effective." "I could tell you the whole point of why Yennefer could dispel this "curse" in thirty percent equivalent, as for Merigold, then I'm not sure that she would remain at least not crippled after interacting with elven magic, so yes, it was safer to invite me in. But let's get to the point." "They understand, that they are not what they were?" "Partly understand, partly dominated by animal instincts." "I can see that Dettlaff is obviously pleased with you." "Pretty cute creatures. Eredin once had a whole pack. Before he became the king of the hunt. But yes, let's start..." "Dettlaff, is that really you? I shouldn't have mistaken the wolf."

Sounds of an elven counter spell in Ellilon.

R. "I'm not mistaken. Oh, it works, dear Crevan." D. "Why do I have a strange taste in my mouth?" R. "I guess because you both decided that being rude to the sorceresses would go smoothly and without consequences." G. "Fuck. We're lucky it was wolves and not rabbits or..." A. "Or frogs, or perhaps earthworms." G. "What did you forget here?" R. "Dear knower helped me, given his experience in the past and the capabilities of his race." D. "Thank you, elf." A. "Too early to thank. I took it off by force. It is weak, but very cleverly designed." G. "What are you talking about? A. "We'll see in a couple of days."

[nataliescatorccio]

Not to mention that this info is coming months after his departure, during the blood origin pr which doesn't go well, when fans are against the writers bc we all saw s2, plus he and millie where basically the face of the promo for enola, plus the love scene he cut was with triss after geralt thought he lost yen forever, people wanted to see that? A love scene with triss when the love between geralt yen wasn't even established thanks to Lauren cutting their scenes and backstory. And the love scene with Anya it was before yen's betrayal. He didn't denied a love scene with her, they both wanted a romantic and not an animalistic, sex scene (isn't what anti yenralt said during s1, that their bond is pure sex and not love?) and imagine if we had a love scene and then she went on with the betrayal according to Lauren's script, how much more hate yen would get, "she lead on geralt for her purposes" , "she used him" etc. And what scenes he rewrote? Roach's death or he added a campfire scene with ciri at the first episode. Wow what bad decisions! Tell me one guest star or ex producer who isn't on Lauren's payroll that said anything bad for him. In fact the actress who played his mother in s1, in an interview about Valhalla in an unrelated question he said cavill is an example of how a list actors should behave on set. He gave her space, he asked her if she felt OK with her lines or wanted anytbi g changed etc. But there are many ex worker of Lauren's who say how egomaniac is and doesn't listen to anyone. And in the end no matter what info are coming now, blood origin will be released soon and then s4 of the Witcher and we'll know.

i get that changes to the script must be awkward for the writers, but they were good changes. i'd go as far as to say they were changes that made s2 bearable. i can't imagine if they had gone ahead with geralt/triss sleeping together, and then yenralt together when she knows she's about to betray him. or if they'd made a joke over roach's death. and i really do understand how someone behind the scenes would go 'this makes life harder for us' but also, it's making a better show. we don't know what's happened with s3, and if henry fought for more changes there, but as a fan looking at s2 i damn well trust his judgement more than i do the writers at this point. labelling him as a misogynist because he didn't trust lauren's vision is one huge leap. also lauren very recently said they left things amicably, which would not be the case if he was truly being rude to her on set as the rumors suggest.

according to this rumour, his behaviour shifted in s2, so s1 he would have behaved correctly. which can happen, we've seen it happen before with tv stars where they behave well because they feel they're on a probation period and then act up when they know the show is a hit. but honestly it just sounds more like henry felt more comfortable to put his foot down about things he was uncomfortable with? especially the shirtless scenes thing, that man had to dehydrate himself for days before filming the shirtless scenes in season 1, i can understand why he wouldn't want to do that again. being uncomfortable with shirtless scenes and sex scenes is something the writers should be taking on board for all actors, especially when they're not necessary to the story and are just being added in so the show can get some gratuitous nudity for viewers.

i can see some things within the rumours being true, but a lot of it reads like an overexaggerated account of one side of the argument. like if you had been ranting to a friend about the things that had pissed you off, and that friend had then given a statement about it. there might well be grains of truth within it, but a lot of it reeks of exaggerated bias. i do genuinely think there was a disagreement between him and the writing team that left to him leaving, but netflix 'firing' him seems like a stretch, it seems more like they both decided that the best thing to do was for him to leave the role.

[volixia669]

Rant about Witcher S2

Feeling kinda sad seeing Witcher Gifs. Not because people are enjoying the show, please, enjoy it! I'm not here to judge your viewing habits!

But personally, I actually thought it would be a good show in S1. They missed some things here and there, and it didn't reeeeaaally feel like it was based on slavic folklore & culture, but I was hoping that now people were hooked, they'd use more of what people weren't familiar with, and get into some of the morally grey stuff as well as the much darker aspects of Witcher lore & slavic lore.

Instead they turned Baba Yaga into a generic demon.

Baba Yaga.

(Click Keep Reading for the rest of my rant because I don't want to be rude but also wow do I have so much to say about S2)

Technically only identifiable as such due to the house with chicken feet, that's how badly they fucked such an iconic piece of folklore up.

Season 2 also brought us "what if Eskel were an ass, and we killed him, then were shocked that people were upset we changed his character AND weren't upset at his passing"

In addition, it downplayed to near non-existence the roles Triss and Yen had in mentoring Ciri, it used the generic demon to kill most of the witchers thereby making the fault of the witcher's decline (checks notes) Yen, Ciri, and a generic demon instead of HUMANITY.

It tried to do the whole "dubious ethics of Witcher creation" but without Lambert's justifiable anger regarding being made a witcher as a kid, it doesn't have the same emotional weight.

Oh, oh. We also have a beautiful friendhsip between two badass women formed, then ruined due to...Interference from Deus Ex Generic Demon.

And like. They could have actually used Yen, The Elf Woman, and Nilfgardian Sorceress (sorry, blanking on names), to show how Baba Yaga ISN'T an evil witch, but rather, well, more complicated than that. How the deals Baba Yaga offers depends on both her mood, and how much respect you give to her. That the morality of what's offered & given also depends on perspective.

But nope. Generic Demon.

Which that plotline leads to blood libel.

This will likely need more explaining, so buckle up.

First up, blood libel is a variant of antisemitism where Jewish people are accused of murdering children thereby fueling pogroms aka genocide attempts. It's been around in Europe for centuries. Centuries.

The holocaust was not the first attempt to kill Jews, it was just the most well known, and most systemic.

Now, sometimes writers will make a fantasy race an analog to the Jewish people. Sometimes the intent is malicious, sometimes its positive, sometimes its neutral. Sometimes they don't intend to, they're just using tropes another writer used which is based on another writer's tropes, which is based on a metaphor/analog.

Now, I do not know all the details about how the author of the witcher books originally wrote the elves.

I DO know that how they were portrayed in the show was as a people looking for a homeland, and were part of a diaspora, with concerns about not enough "purebloods" in the new generation.

Its not at all accurate to the experiences of actual Jewish people, but it IS accurate to the perception of Jewish people many goyim have. (Also yeah, there's some Jews who are concerned about not enough pure Jewish kids, but that's like, a couple of very specific sects and even within those sects not everyone agrees on that.)

Anyways, the blood libel comes in what happens when the elven woman's baby dies. The Jewish analogs go and kill a bunch of non Jewish, I mean non Elven babies.

Fuck you Lauren Hirsch.

Fuck you for that plotline.

Even if it WERE canon, why the fuck would that plotline be deemed appropriate. Even if we pretended it wasn't blood libel, it's still a minority murdering a majority's kids, which oh right, is exactly the kind of shit fox news blabs on about.

I mean hell, the elves were enslaved. I bet there's incredibly false, racist, enraging, propaganda from the 1800s claiming freed slaves would kill children.

But they even put blood over doorways in a fucking bastardization of passover. A holiday where some sects ACTUALLY DISCUSS HOW HORRIBLE THE WHOLE KILLING BABIES THING IS. Oh, and the blood over doorways WAS ANIMAL BLOOD TO TELL THE ANGEL OF DEATH THAT A JEWISH FAMILY LIVED THERE. IT WAS WARDING. IT WASN'T A THREAT.

And instead of the elves being a faction with complicated motives stemming from racism, colonialism, and just having no where to go, they're turned into bland villains. The fuck kind of writing is this.

Oh, and before I forget, another pile of steaming shit to add to the shit pile? Vesemir giving a bunch of sex workers a date rape plant, thereby making it so they CANNOT CONSENT TO SEX, and also being okay with bringing strangers to the keep which makes zero sense.

Its disgusting, misogynistic, and seems like the scene was intended to be played for comedic effect with the mention of the plant as a sort of handwave to explain why the keep is still secret.

I have ZERO issues with sex workers, and in fact want more positive representations of sex workers. What I am not okay with is when media shows characters casually using an actual plant to drug sex workers thereby removing their agency, and it's intended to be a comedic scene.

Fuck that.

There's just...So much wrong with Season 2's writing, with the choices made, with the lack of respect for slavic culture, that I just cannot bring myself to watch the latest season.

Henry Cavill's Geralt is great! I love Anya Chalotra as Yen! I love that Joey Batey fought for Jaskier to be queer! There's so much great acting, costumes, and more.

But the writing choices.

The writing and directorial choices, as well as Hirsch's responses to criticism from fans means I just can't enjoy this season.

So I look sadly at the gifs, knowing that they're showing some great moments, but I can't enjoy them the way that I would have if S2 had been written better.

And you know what? I hope we get to hear more about what was going on behind the scenes. I want to know who wanted what. WHo shouted down what decisions. And just how, how in the world these writing decisions got finalized and aired.

[casspurrjoybell-25]

The Healer of Shakkara - Book One

*Warning Adult Content*

Chapter 18 The Barrowlings - Part 2

"They are growing bolder," Iksthanis said, frowning at the gloom beneath the trees.

Intermittent drops of water fell from above and he wiped one from his brow.

"It is darker today. I would guess that it is overcast and raining above. With the sun behind clouds, they will be on the move."

"Agreed," Sev said.

"I think they number at least a dozen now."

"Probably more," said Triss.

"I did my best to track every glimpse I got and compare it with the next appearance. I'd say we're dealing with nearly twice that many."

"Hells. If that's true and if their numbers grow any more, they could attack at any time," Sev said unhappily.

"We need to get our bearings."

"What for?" Obi asked.

"We've got to be near the border now."

Sev rubbed the back of his neck as he tilted his head back to peer up at the tangled branches overhead.

"Yes but the border is not uniform and neither is the terrain. Depending on our course, we may find the edge in hours or in another day. I would rather not risk the chance."

"You mean to climb?" Iksy asked.

"These branches would not hold much weight."

"Not me. Rea."

Rea nodded, already removing her belt and anything else that might catch.

She tucked her long golden braid beneath the collar of her shirt and sized up the trees, looking for the largest climbable one.

Making her choice, she beckoned to Iksthanis.

"Remember Draxis?" she asked.

He nodded and stood at the base of the tree, knees bent and hands joined, palms up with the fingers interlaced.

Rea gauged the distance to the lowest branch, took a running step and placed her foot in his waiting hands.

With a grunt, he straightened and lifted her, launching her up into the tree.

Her hands caught the branch and she began to pull herself up.

She'd almost done it when the branch broke with a snap and she fell.

"Whoa."

Iksy caught her with a second, louder grunt and the two fell to the ground in a heap.

"Shit. Let's try that again," Rea said, getting to her feet and pulling Iksy up after her.

They repeated the maneuver but this time the branch broke the moment her hands closed on it.

"Fuck it. I'm too heavy," she complained, wincing as she disentangled herself from Iksy a second time.

"Try a different tree?" Obi suggested, but she shook her head.

"They're all the same... it's how they grow. The lower branches are all dead and break easily."

"Let me try," Galen said.

"I think I'm the lightest, anyway."

"Too risky," Sev objected.

"If you fall, you could be killed."

"So could Rea," Galen pointed out.

"Rea is not the P'Yrha."

Galen scowled.

He was tired, sore, thirsty, dirty, hungry and frightened.

He badly wanted out of the pines.

"If we don't find the right way and we get lost and the barrow-things eat me, it won't matter what I am. I've climbed trees before. And besides... I heal fast. Let me try."

Sev watched him keenly, his silver eyes glinting in the gray light but at last, he nodded.

"Very well. Iksy, be ready to catch him."

Iksy nodded and retook his position at the base of the tree, cradling his hands in the same stirrup shape for Galen's use.

Steeling himself for the attempt, Galen peered up at the tree.

Only one strong-looking branch remained within reach but if Iksy gave him a good boost, he was pretty sure he could grab it.

Not giving himself more time to think, he took two running steps, placed his foot in Iksy's hand and shot into the air, launched by the larger man's strength.

He reached, gasped as he almost overshot his target and landed with the branch beneath his chest.

Scrambling to gain his balance and not slip off again, he grasped it and waited but the branch held.

"The boy was right, Rea," Iksy said, dusting off his hands and readying himself to catch Galen, should he fall.

"He is lighter than you."

Rea made a rude gesture in his direction but most of her attention was on Galen.

He was in an awkward position, lying across the branch and there were no hand or footholds in reach.

"Swing your left leg over the branch," she instructed.

"Turn yourself towards the tree and stay as close to the trunk as you can. If you can raise yourself up a little, you should be able to reach the next branch above."

Galen did as she instructed, nearly holding his breath for fear a stray movement might cause the branch to snap beneath him.

Finally, he managed to pull himself upright against the trunk and took hold of two more boughs.

"Careful," Sev called up to him.

"Go slowly. Test each branch before you trust it with your weight."

"You'll be fine, Gale," Behn yelled, sounding less convinced of this than Galen would have liked.

"Just don't look down."

"For the Goddess' sake, don't shout, Behn," Triss admonished sharply, whacking the back of his head.

"Honestly."

"She's right," Sev agreed in a softer tone as Behn grumbled and rubbed his head.

"No shouting. Just climb as high as you safely can, look around, memorize as much of what you see as possible... even minor details may help us choose the best way... then come back down. Carefully."

Galen signaled his acknowledgment and began to climb.

After the first few branches, it got easier.

Those higher up were still alive, strong and flexible.

Soon he climbed with more confidence, though it wasn't easy going.

Sap stuck to his fingers, prickly leaves poked him all over and his limbs felt weak with nerves.

As he climbed, the light grew steadily brighter and the air less stagnant and at last he broke free of the dense lower branches and gained the upper boughs.

These became thin and spindly and he kept one arm wrapped about the trunk at all times, just in case they broke beneath his weight.

Finally, he could climb no further.

The tree swayed with his every move and he feared the trunk itself might snap if he ascended one more branch.

He'd been so focused on not falling that he hadn't looked away from the tree yet but now he raised his eyes and looked,and then he gasped.

Rea had chosen her tree well.

It poked up higher than most of its neighbors and as it grew atop a ridge, Galen had a sweeping view of the surrounding forest.

To south and north, the pines stretched away like a green-grey sea but to the west, an abrupt jagged line marked their edge.

He took all this in quickly, even as he reveled in the open sky above... overcast but freeing nonetheless... the fresh breeze against his cheek and the crisp, clean scent of rain and pine.

The trees were far more agreeable up here than they were down below but the same might be said of people, he reflected... if all one ever knew of humans were their feet, one might think them quite unpleasant creatures, indeed.

Then he saw two things that took his breath away with equal suddenness.

First, west and slightly south, not three miles hence, was a place where the edge of the forest came very close, cutting a deep channel between the pines.

He saw long open meadows and multicolored forests beyond... red, yellow and orange.

After the long gray of the Pinedark, the colors were a feast for the eyes.

He made careful note of the distance and direction, then turned his attention to the other area of note.

Back the way they had come, east and a slightly north, was a strange barren hill, clear of pines.

It stuck up like the top of a balding head from a ring of thick hair.

Its surface seemed to be mostly of a light-colored stone but all around it, at oddly regular intervals, were round black dots, from which trailed long pale lines, which seemed almost to move.

It took Galen some minutes to puzzle out what they were and what they signified but once he did, he practically fell down the tree in his haste to descend.

"Galen. Careful," Sev called up to him as he reached the brittle branches below.

"Take it easy."

"No time," Galen shouted, heedless of the sound.

"There is a way... west and east but we must go... now."

He slid down to the lowest branch, grasped it and slipped off, letting himself hang by his hands.

It was twelve feet to the ground but this was not a bad drop and he let go.

Sev caught him anyway, moving with near inhuman speed and set him on his feet.

"Are you all right?" he asked, brows pinched as he brushed his thumb over a cut on Galen's cheek.

"I'm fine," he panted, breathless with relief at having reached the ground safely and with terror at what he had seen.

"But I saw it... back the way we came."

"Saw what?" Galen swallowed, throat and lips dry with exertion and fear.

"The barrowling hive. We must have passed within a stone's throw of it and never knew. And Iksy's right, they're on the move."

Sevhalim's grip tightened on Galen's waist a little and his expression turned stony.

"How many?"

Galen shook his head, hands pressed to Sev's chest and his voice came out a strained rasp.

"Hundreds."

"Well, shit," Rea said, bow already strung as she scanned the line of trees.

"You said you saw a way out, too," Sev said.

"Can you lead us there?"

Galen looked up at him, eyes wide and Sev gave him a none-too-gentle shake.

"There is no time for lengthy explanations, Galen. You've seen with your own eyes and have the best sense of which way to go. Can you lead us there?"

Swallowing his mounting fear and dread, Galen met Sev's eyes again and nodded.

He would do his best.

He had to... for if he failed... they were all going to die.

[trisscar368]

Cas told Dean about the deal, and said he’d wondered what his happiness could be because he already knew. He had accepted it wasn’t possible.

The Empty taunted Cas with “there’s nothing for you there.”

Do you think he still had hope, then?

How many times did it flicker to life and fade over the years, each time the ache ever present but fading into the background, shored up by acceptance and seeking solace in being family, being a friend, being useful. Holding on to the hope that he mattered, telling himself to cherish what was given and let the love blend into the pain, and that would be enough.

How many times did he think, “surely he cares too,” only to have that spark turn to ash.

[aekiviel]

Dating the witchers (Geralt, Eskel and Lambert): the Witcher preference.

warnings: mentions of sex, mentions of kinks (??)

a/n: haha love these 3 boys. sorry that there's no Coen but I just... idk much of him so I can't imagine something... but he is definitely protective and soft, even more than eskel!!??

(gifs : 1 , 2 , 3 )

───────────────────────────────

Geralt.

- he is owner. he has daddy vibes (and kink as well).

- super protective and jealous.

- sometimes just doesn't know how to give you love, he can be awkward and sad but doesn't want to show this to you

- loves ur jokes!!

- he only trusts Roach to two people: you and Ciri.

- talking about Ciri, he adores you relationship. like, you've become her first she-friend (before Triss) and he really appreciates this. but he doesn't see u as a parent figure but a nice auntie that supports his dear daughter!!

- "I will never hurt you"

- teaches you to use herbs & sword.

- but there're quarrels between you of course. he can't hold his anger back sometimes and very sad after everything he's said to you :(

- physical manifestation of love!

- he just loves to look what you're doing. like, he would be sitting next to you in silence just enjoying everything you do at the moment

- pls he's amazing lover. amazing in bed, amazing in battles, amazing at taking care.

- doesn't like pda.

- angry sex BuT soft kisses on the forehead afterwards!!

- "you're important to me"

- tries his best.

Eskel.

- aaah here we go the best gentleman.

- have I already said that he's gentleman? he is.

- adores smiling and your smile!

- flowers..... in his..... hair......

- there was a time when he had complexes about his scar on his face. you fastly convinced him that this scar is okay and you even love it.

- constant compliments.

- ADORES CUDDLING

- he's silent. but not the way Geralt is but... this silence comforts you. idk how to explain

- "Princess", "My lady", "Dove"

- he can be very gentle during the sex but also likes it rough.

- like... praise kink.. choking...

- je tries to save you from fights and rude people.

- he often gets tired so you spend most of your time in bed just talking about everything

- shares his fears & dreams

- "I'm so lucky"

- h u g s

Lambert.

- HAHA he's walking joke. I mean everything he says is funny and he adores attention!

- horny disaster.

- I mean imagine fucking with Lambert... passionate, rough and sensual sex...

- mm he likes oral sex?? well I mean he likes either blow-jobs, either eating ur pussy out :)))

- teasing...

- okay but he's a good friend and supporter. he gives you attention, advices, can teach you whatever you want.

- fluffy hair! he likes you touching it

- sometimes can be a dick. like he is very stubborn and says shit etc :(

- but always apologizes!!

- he is LOUD.

- likes to spend money on you

- adores pda. wants to show everyone that you're his. as Geralt, he is very jealous but he shows it to everyone and can beat smb's ass up !

- likes games. I mean normal games like some kind of competitions for example

- matching things!!!

- admires you. he thinks you're the goddess. he would kneel down before you...

[skaldingrayne]

✨Coën ✨: book!Coën vs TWN!Coen

(Sorry for the repost y'all. Because I replied to the original ask in good faith the first time around, when that person didn't like my answers and blocked me - and then waded thru the list of folks that interacted with me and some other folks that disagreed with them and blocked all *them* as well - it locked rebagel'ing for some of the folks who wanted to share the Coën Facts™. So here it is again on it's own, so those of you that said you wanted to reblob it now can)

[redacted] Here you go, as requested:

1) book!Coën is not a Wolf witcher || TWN has said there is only one school in their canon (Kaer Morhen) and TWN!Coen wears a Wolf medallion

2) book!Coën's first winter at KM was Ciri's as well, he was also an outsider like her || TWN! Coen is (again) already part of the wolf school which kind of makes him just another of the witchers around her

3) book!Coën "was young, apparently the same age as Lambert" according to Triss in BoE - who is relatively young herself (Jaskier is possibly older than she is), so i doubt she'd be calling someone over a century-old "young" || in Netflix's NotW Geralt is the youngest and - as there is only one school - TWN! Coen would have to have been at least old enough to be a full witcher out on the Path at the time of the attack, making him even older than Geralt who's already over a hundred come S2

4) book!Coën did not bully Ciri || TWN! Coen did - a century old monster slayer, and he’s spending his winter helping Lambert bully a human kid

5) book!Coën did not dance with sexworkers brought to KM and then intentionally drugged past being able to remember anything about the night || TWN!Coen did

6) book!Coën "had unusually pale, yellow-green irises and the whites of his eyes, riddled with red threads" (BoE) || TWN!Coën has heterochromia. Now this might be a visual design choice to make that difference in eye mutations between him and the other witchers obvious, or it might be related to Atour saying he had an eye injury when he was young. But because of the nature of witcher mutations, TWN!Coen's non-mutated eye is functionally different than a mere cosmetic choice - it would mean that at the very least his eyes have differing visual levels (which would cause issues on it's own) or could even be a sign of some level of vision loss. And as someone who's had minor vision loss before and has family who's suffered major, I can report back that such a thing does indeed make a difference in one's life

7) book!Coën spells his name with an ë || TWN!Coen has been anglicized to remove the ë, kind of like how some of my ancestors were forced to change their names to not sound too “foreign” when they immigrated to America. To be clear this is not “just removing the umlauts”, it makes it an entirely different letter and is a purposeful misspelling which is generally considered rude to do to a person of another language/culture. It would be like changing Yennefer to Jennefer or Ciri to Siri - it’s not the same name (alright, admittedly this is just a personal annoyance than a true character change, but it’s still rude. names & culture are important)

8) book!Coën had the awesome teaching/foreshadowing moment with Ciri about even the best of fencers all winding up in the same place/in cemeteries || TWN!Coen did not get to have that teaching moment because the line was given to Geralt

All together, these seem like major differences to me though - both physically, in his personality, and in his backstory. So much so that they feel like totally different characters. TWN!Coen doesn't feel to me like someone who's going to march off to Brenna, for instance. So while Atour remains my face claim for Coën, when I write him it's the book character who gives him life. When I read him, I want more personality and backstory than TWN saw fit to give him. Otherwise he's just another Aiden really - which can be fun, but only if I'm in the mood for an OC

When you said "there was no other clarification of 'book canon Coën' besides that tag" - except that tag is on a whole entire fic which would presumably provide the clarification you're asking for, right? If you don't want to read that fic, that's fair. Walk away. But to *not* check your evidence before you go jump online and impugn someone who's just helping readers looking for more book-personality Coën?…Like I said, seems like it says far more about you than it does the writer

Are you upset that people are canon blending characters (as you mention with Triss), or are you upset that people are trying to specify which canon they are using instead of just blending (the whole Coën/Coen thing that started this mess)?

Now as to your tags:

IDK, when I see someone specifically described as pale, I tend to assume that's because everyone else *isn't* (see: Earthsea)

I DO in fact think it's a leap to assume Sapkowski intended the characters to be default anything because a) it’s not just some sort of fantasy Poland - he said they came from all over in a different world and b) there's no such thing as "default white" any more than there is any other kind of “default skin tone.” Look, Western Europe and Eastern Europe have A History, the countries within those regions have A History, the regions within those countries have A History, and to write it all off as "white" so as to conveniently ignore all the cultural/economic/political/historical/social differences that shape them seems as reductivist as lumping people from Spain/Mexico/Puerto Rico/Cuba/Columbia/Peru together as just “those Spanish speaking countries”. You seem like the kind of person interested in doing better and trying to promote diversity, so these comments were pretty surprising TBH

Sapkowski is an old *Polish* guy - which means he grew up in a country absolutely obliterated by the Nazis, lived through communism and revolution, watched his country and people rebuild. And then - at the age of 38, which um...is not actually that old? - he wrote the start of what would become an amazing series of books about power and politics and race and oppression and marginalized groups all dressed up as fantasy so people would read it. I do not know why you would demean his age or culture instead of celebrating it, especially as you otherwise seem to enjoy these books written by an "old white guy" *about* an "old white guy"?

(Coming soon: more on ✨Coën✨ & Implicit Bias...)

[lambden]

another 'cliche' prompt fill! Ledgea requested some Lambert/Aiden shenanigans and I love them so I had to oblige! <3

42. I’m going to save you from the terrible date you’re having T, 1.3K, modern AU, misunderstandings

“I feel like we never talk anymore,” Lambert grouses, leaning back in his seat. The night is winding down to its inevitable conclusion, as all nights must, and the late hour is making him bolder than usual. “I mean, you used to keep me updated on all your drama.”

Without properly glancing up from his cell phone, Geralt mumbles, “I have no drama.”

“Now I know that’s a fucking lie.” His glass of merlot is running low, but their server has been tending to a busy party on the other side of the restaurant and Lambert isn’t in a hurry to hunt him down. There’s another server that’s been watching him all night, and Lambert would be lying if he said he wasn’t returning the looks. The man’s wavy hair is nothing compared to Lambert’s curls but he’s tied it up in a small bun, and the few strands still hanging around his temples draw attention to his beautiful, sharp smile. He tilts his head inquisitively and Lambert nods gratefully, draining the rest of his wine and setting the glass down. “What about darling Yen?”

“Off with someone else,” Geralt shrugs. “Named… Frin… Fran… Frin-fran-something.”

“Well, you don’t seem too bothered. Then, what about Triss?”

“Haven’t talked to her in a while.” The man squints at his phone, fully ignoring Lambert.

“Fine. Then what about your musician friend?” The server who’s been making eyes at him brings over a glass and a new bottle— he must have sprinted to the bar to retrieve it. Lambert straightens up, grinning. “Thanks.”

“Of course,” the server smiles back, flashing those bright teeth again. Lambert wants very much to invite him into the back alley, or the staff washroom, or perhaps if they’re really pressed for a location the walk-in freezer. But he isn’t so rude as to flirt with someone while they’re stuck working, so he just nods and lets the man pour.

Finally looking up from his screen, Geralt raises a judgemental eyebrow. “Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” The server sucks in a quick breath but remains silent, hands steady as he pours Lambert’s glass. “You’re the one paying for all this, you know.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Lambert rolls his eyes. There’s a time-honoured tradition of swapping who pays for the bill every time they all go out— a tradition that Eskel always breaks by trying his hardest to sneak his credit card to the till before anyone else can. But their third brother isn’t here tonight, and unfortunately, it’s Lambert’s turn. “Don’t avoid the question. What’s going on between you and Jaskier?”

“Nothing,” growls Geralt, but his gaze reveals more than he wants to let on as he glances, lightning-quick, at his phone.

“I knew it,” Lambert crows. “You’ve been texting him all night!”

“No. I’ve been thinking about buying a new horse.”

Knowing Geralt, either option could be true. Lambert scoffs anyway, taking a sip of his new glass of wine. “Oh, that is phenomenal,” he exhales, leaning back in his seat and undoing the top button of his shirt. “What year is this?”

“Don’t act like you know a thing about wine,” Geralt teases. Out of the entire family he’s the one closest to a sommelier; after all, he does own shares in an actual vineyard. Lambert rolls his eyes anyway— Geralt might be right, but he doesn’t have to be a dick about it. “And keep your clothes on, we’re in public!”

Just then, the server accidentally knocks a glass of water onto Geralt’s lap. “Shit,” he blurts out, hurriedly putting the bottle down and reaching to unroll some folded napkins. “I’m so sorry! Are you alright?”

“I’m just fine,” Geralt reassures him, a little coolly. Lambert nearly winces at the tone— he knows that his brother doesn’t mean to come off like that, but it’s hard to deal with it sometimes anyway. Geralt climbs out of his seat, grimacing at the large wet stain on his pants. “I’m going to go dry off in the bathroom. Don’t run off and leave me with the tab, you mooch.”

“Ha-ha,” Lambert deadpans, picking up his wine and taking another sip. He expects to have some free time to rifle through his social media, maybe send a text to Eskel about how they missed him tonight. But nearly as soon as Geralt has vacated his seat, the gorgeous server with the bun slides into it, frowning softly. “Oh, uh, it’s alright, really. I’m sure he isn’t mad.”

“I don’t care if he’s mad,” says the angel in waiter’s clothing. His dark eyes are intensely focused on Lambert, and his thick eyebrows drawn together only adds to his concern. “Listen, alright? That guy’s an asshole. You deserve better.”

Lambert gapes.

“I’m sorry, I know this is extremely not my place, but…” The man glances in the direction of the bathroom nervously before reaching across the table to offer Lambert his palm. Lambert, bewildered and delighted, accepts it. The man’s grip is warm and dry, and his broad fingers instantly send Lambert’s pulse racing. “I had to do something to save you from this terrible date you’re having.”

“Oh,” bleats Lambert.

“You don’t have to put up with bullshit like that,” the man tells him, dead serious. His earnest, compassionate worry is nearly too much to handle when paired with his perfect smile and eyes. “You say the word and I’ll kick him out of here, alright? And don’t worry about having to foot the bill. I’d gladly cover you. Or poison him. Just say the word.”

“Oh, fuck,” he groans. “You’re sort of a maniac, aren’t you? This is really, really bad for me— you’re already completely my type. You can’t be this gorgeous and unhinged, it isn’t fair!” Mr. Gorgeous And Unhinged smiles, flashing those pearly whites again, and Lambert’s heart quakes. “What’s your name? You know, so I can tell the necessary authorities?”

“Aiden.” He’s even got a hot name! Lambert is going to need to dump cold water onto his own lap very soon. “And you are?”

“In trouble, I think,” Lambert sighs. He tugs his hand away from Aiden, shaking his head. “I’m Lambert, and the asshole you dumped water on is Geralt.”

“I’m serious,” Aiden insists. “Well, not about the poisoning, maybe, but you don’t have to put up with that kind of treatment. If he doesn’t treat you with the respect you deserve, then why waste your time dating him?”

“You make a valid point,” replies Lambert, as seriously as he can manage. Then he spies Geralt making his way back to the table, and throws a warning look in Aiden’s direction. “Don’t look now, but he’s coming back.”

“Just think about what I said,” Aiden quickly says, jumping to his feet. Geralt frowns slightly, probably confused about the clumsy server who took up residence in his seat. “Sorry, I was just getting to know Lambert here!”

“Alright,” Geralt replies mildly. Now that Lambert knows about his dislike for the man, he can practically see Aiden’s shoulders bristling— and it’s fucking hilarious.

But then Aiden turns to leave, shooting Lambert one last parting look of sorrow over his shoulder, and Lambert just can’t let the most hilarious misunderstanding of his life go undiscovered. He also can’t let someone so perfectly insane leave without a second chance, so he blurts out, “Wait, let me— let me introduce you two! Um, Geralt, this is Aiden. He’s quite… passionate.”

Geralt shoots Lambert a glare that very clearly spells out you disgusting little man, did you hook up with a waiter while I was in the bathroom for three minutes tops. Then he nods to Aiden, smile slightly pursed at the corners. But it’s likely the best they’re going to get.

“And Aiden, this is Geralt,” Lambert tells him slowly, lining up the kill shot. He inhales. “My brother.”

After a very pregnant pause, Aiden says, quietly but with great feeling, “Fuck.”

[dear-galileo]

you spin me right around

modern au!geraskier, written for the @thepassifloradiscord fic and art swap!

8.5k words, mature

read on ao3

“I am going to learn magic,” Jaskier declared into his phone. Triss, on the other end, made a noise of surprise. 

“Really? What brought this on? Oh, I can recommend you to one of my professors-”

“I am going to learn magic, and curse Valdo fucking Marx so that whenever he goes to sing, his dick gets smaller.”

“Is that his middle name?” Triss asked. Jaskier paused, already lost in a conversation that he had started. “Fucking? Valdo Fucking Marx? I can’t tell if his parents had great confidence in him, or simply hated him.”

“I’ve made the word cuck in my phone autocorrect to Valdo.” 

“I can’t imagine how often you text the word cuck.” 

“No, but it’s quicker to type that than Valdo Fucking Marx.” Jaskier said easily. Triss laughed, before composing herself. 

“Why are you cursing him? Or should I say, what did he do today?” 

“He’s into painting .” Jaskier revealed dramatically. He was currently walking through one of the many courtyards of Oxenfurt University. Having spent the past two years at this school studying music previously had granted Jaskier zero shame regarding freshmen overhearing his phone conversations. Let them be entertained, lord knows they need it. 

“He’s-” Triss hesitated on the other side of the phone. He could imagine her sitting at her desk in her dorm, twirling a pencil in one hand, her phone in the other. “He’s into painting? Isn’t that a good thing, since he would drop out of your music classes?”

“No.” Jaskier corrected. “He’s into painting alongside his music- he’s making art to represent his songs.” Triss hummed, and Jaskier could tell from the tone that she wasn’t getting the full picture. “Not only has he stolen three of my songs from freshman year and mangled them with his bloody fucking [__], but he’s making toddler-level finger paintings based off of them.” 

“I might need photographic evidence of these.” Triss said. 

“Already sent one to you. It looked like he shat himself on top of a canvas and called it art. I couldn’t bear to stand around and listen to his lecture on what it represented, so I got out when I could.” 

Triss’s laughter echoed through the phone as she checked the photo. “Dear Gods,” she said, putting the phone back to her ear. “That is truly terrible. But how is this magic worthy?” 

“He’s trying to one up me! I bet you he overheard that I am going for that internship at the record studio, and is trying to beat me out.”

“How would bad artwork help him in that case?” 

Jaskier threw up one of his arms, even though Triss couldn’t see him. A freshman with an overloaded backpack stared at him as she walked by. 

“Fucked if I know! But I refuse to let this slide by, I’ve got to do something.” Triss groaned. 

“No, every time you say you’ve got to do something, you end up doing something ridiculous that very much does not need to be done,” she complained. “And half the time you drag me into it.” 

“How many times must I apologize for setting you up on that fake date with him? I didn’t know he was going to spend the entire two hours at the movie talking.”

“You can stop apologizing when I can smell movie theater popcorn without cringing. He tried to hand feed me popcorn , Jask, that’s not something that one could easily forget. He has sweaty hands.”

“Which is why you were never sent on another spy mission- in fact, I gave up the spy missions sophomore year. That’s growth!” 

“If I didn’t know how much you genuinely hated this man, I would say just fuck him and get it over with,” Triss said with a barely suppressed sigh. This was a discussion that they have had before. 

“Getting back to the point-”

“Oh, goody, there’s a point,” Triss said dryly. Jaskier gasped loudly into the phone, just to get his feelings of betrayal across. 

“Rude! You are spending too much time with Yen. She’s a bad influence.” 

“I actually think that she would help you with the penis shrinking spell, if you gave her a good enough reason to.” 

Jaskier considered this for a moment, but Yen still scared him, even after half a year of her dating Triss, his best friend. 

“No, okay. I have to find another medium, and be better at it than Valdo is.”

“You are going to make shitty paintings?” Triss asked. There was movement on her side of the phone. “Oh- Yen’s here, I’m putting you on speaker.”

“Is he complaining about that greasy fuck again?” Yen’s voice distantly said. 

“Yes! He is!” Jaskier called. Yen’s scoff could have been a general one, or because of Jaskier talking about himself in the third person, it was too hard to tell through the phone. “Listen, so I can’t get into painting, a, because that’s too obvious, I would be blatantly stealing his idea, and b, that’s stupid.” 

“I doubt Valdo owns the market to making paintings based off of songs,” Triss started to say. 

“Hush, my lovely beautiful friend,” Jaskier cut her off. “I was going to try wood carving, but then I remembered the last time I held a knife in the kitchen, I managed to nearly chop off my entire hand, so that’s out. That means ice sculptures are out as well. Perhaps sandcastles?”

“We live nowhere near a beach.” Triss reminded him. Jaskier cursed, scowling. He was on his way across campus, back to his car to get to work, so he didn’t have the time to run back to his apartment to scavenge through his closet of abandoned crafts.

“I have an idea,” Yennefer said, suddenly very close to the phone. “Pottery.”

“Like the art of weed?” Jaskier asked, before remembering he was speaking to a very powerful mage who could create a portal to him to smack him, if she so wanted. Thankfully, Yen chose to ignore the joke. 

“Sculpting with clay. I have an old friend who runs a pottery studio in town. They do open house nights every week, where people can try to make their own pieces.” 

“It’s not a castle made out of fine sediment, but that might still do the trick.” Jaskier declared. “Triss, please kiss your lovely girlfriend for me as a thank you.”

“Please do not give me a kiss from Jaskier,” Yen said to Triss. “Is your problem solved? May I spend time with Triss now?” 

Jaskier made kissy noises into the phone until Yen got the point and hung up. A few minutes later, a text from Triss with an address and a name came through. It was just downtown, and thankfully not too far from his apartment. The name provided was Geralt, which the website unhelpfully gave no more information about. 

read the rest of ao3

[jaskierswolf]

A coffee shop au where Jaskier waxes lyrical about the hot white-haired customer at the other end of the shop to Lambert (who had been in the back when Geralt walked in) until Lamb declares that he should go say hi to his brother and waltzes up to Geralt with a shit-eating grin

The man with gorgeous moonlit hair was back. He was tapping furiously away at a laptop in the corner of the coffee shop and Jaskier was in heaven. He sighed wistfully as he passed the next customer their overpriced caffeine with equally overpriced caramel syrup. How could one man be so beautiful? It was like some god had looked into Jaskier’s heart to find his deepest darkest desires and created… this masterpiece of a human.

“Umm… excuse me?” Fingers clicked in front of his face.

He blinked and flashed a dazzlingly smile at the brunette who was holding the caramel latte for Trisha. “Yes, hello. Is everything alright?” He asked.

“No. You idiot. This is not what I ordered and who is Trisha?” The brunette snapped.

Jaskier blushed brightly and bit back a curse. He hadn’t been paying attention. He’d just handed over the cup to the next person in line. Whoops. “Ah. My deepest apologies, I’ll umm. I’ll fix that.”

“It’s Triss,” A woman with shiny curly hair and soft freckles sighed wearily “and that’s mine.”

“I didn’t drink it. Knock yourself out.” The brunette rolled her eyes as she passed the drink over. “They’ll be paying me at this rate.”

Jaskier picked up his next cup. The name ‘Cally’ was scrawled onto it with an order for a large cap with almond milk. “Cally?”

The woman pinched the bridge of her nose and groaned. “Calanthe. I even spelled it out.”

Jaskier smiled sheepishly and got on with the order. He risked a glance back at Moonshine in the corner and everything seemed a little bit brighter, even with Calanthe glaring down at him like he was going to bring about the end of the world.

“Jaskier! Stop mooning over the customers and make coffee,” Lambert growled from the till.

“Well stop spelling the names wrong and maybe I will!” He shot back with a wink. “And I can’t help it. He’s just so gorgeous.”

He couldn’t see Lambert’s face but he would have bet money that the redhead was rolling his eyes at him. “Just get on with it.”

“I’ve never seen hair that colour before.” Jaskier sighed “It’s like molten silver cascading down his back, like the moonbeams hitting the surface on the ocean in the middle of the night. Oh and eyes like the sweetest honey. I could get lost in those eyes until my dying breath, and did you hear his voice? God it’s better than sex!”

“You’re disgusting,” Calanthe muttered; disdain dripping from her voice as he passed her her drink.

“Oh I know,” He winked. She was a lost cause anyway so he might as well have fun with it.

“Time for my break,” Lambert announced as Essi came out of the break room tying her apron around her waist. “I should probably go and see my stupid brother. It would be rude not to.”

Jaskier scoffed. “When have you ever cared about not being rude?”

Lambert just flashed him a shit-eating grin and sauntered, nay strutted, across the room…

Jaskier’s jaw dropped at Lambert slid into the chair opposite Moonshine. Lambert’s brother shut his laptop with a glare. Jaskier wanted the ground to open up underneath him. There had to be some work to do in the stockroom. “Oh no. No no no,” He moaned as Lambert’s brother glanced over to the counter.

Jaskier gave an awkward wave, desperately trying not to stare at his golden eyes. Maybe he was a demon, the eye colour was so unusual and Jaskier was definitely being tempted, his thoughts were positively sinful. The next customer sighed loudly and he tore his eyes away from Mr Moonshine in the corner.

“Jask, go clear tables,” Essi snapped. “Maybe clear your head whilst you’re at it.”

Jaskier kissed her cheek and grabbed the tray. “I owe you one!”

“I’ll add it to the list.”

Jaskier trotted over to Lambert and his sexy brother’s table. “Got any rubbish?” He asked and waved the tray.

“I don’t think Lambert will fit in your tray.”

Jaskier laughed, probably a little too hard but sue him he was smitten. “Lambert never mentioned you were brothers….” He trailed off.

“Geralt.”

“I’m Jaskier,” He greeted and extended his hand. “It’s lovely to meet you at last. I mean. Not at last. I’ve not been stalking you I promise. You’re just… you’re very handsome.”

Geralt chuckled, a faint blush dusting his cheeks. “We’re meeting our brother for drinks tonight at the pub. You should come.”

Jaskier felt like melting, honestly it was a miracle that he didn’t swoon into Geralt’s lap. Instead he gave Geralt his most charming smile and wink. “I will thanks. Lambert has my number if you want it. I have to get back to work.” Geralt just nodded and turned back to Lambert. Jaskier couldn’t stop the grin on his face as he strutted back to the counter. He’d fucking gone and done it. He’d got his mystery man’s number… almost and an invite to the pub. Points to Jaskier!

Of course he promptly crashed into a table and fell on his arse. “Fuck!” _____________

Tag list: @alwenarin @slythnerd @davidtennan-t @flippinfricks @innocentcinnamonpun @marvagon @elliestormfound @geraskier-trashh @panerato @moonysourenza @artistsfuneral @victorieschild @hailhailsatan @wherethewordsare @havenoffandoms @bitchy-witchy-post-mortem @electricrituals @geralt-of-riviass @00qtee @kittynannygaming @stinastar @scribblesonmapleleaves @thecomfortofoldstorries @fontegagrilledcheese @anythinggoesfandoms @veritasrose @trickstermoose67

[officerjennie]

Hello, for the lingerie prompts could I suggest #10 for Geraskier? (J in the linergie prefferably) thank you :)

Prompt: Flashing your lingerie at a partner while out in public to tease them.

This is more horny than smutty.

CW: None? Geraskier. Geralt gets a peak at the lingerie at an outdoor concert. Horny more in spirit than anything else. WC 1.3k+

---

Jaskier had a bit of a weakness.

He sipped his strawberry milkshake, beating off the sun the best he could with a floppy hat and his hand over his eyes. For once it hadn’t been his idea to go out today but he was most certainly making the best of it, with his cute shorts and loose tank top complete with one of his many colorful cardigans. He was making the most of it even though it had not been what he’d been meticulously planning for the day, having stayed up late that night giddy over his flawless plan to drive his boyfriend wild for once.

Meticulous plans tossed straight out the window by his gorgeous, thick-headed, idiot boyfriend. Said boyfriend was wearing so much black he was radiating heat off of him but somehow wasn’t dying, his long, beautiful hair pulled back into a man bun that Jaskier really wanted his fingers in - to muss it up, to tug it loose, to hold it and jerk and hang onto-

“The bands should start playing soon.”

Geralt had hardly looked up from the pamphlet some rather lovely smelling hippie had given them when they’d entered the fair grounds. There hadn’t been that many people there, given it was day one of the entertainment, which was no doubt why Geralt had dragged him here today instead of any of the other days. Crowds weren’t his thing despite Jaskier on most days thriving in them, loving the limelight and the sounds of people moving and existing around him, the smells of food and the sounds of music and games and dancing.

Most days. Today was not one of them.

“Let’s find a spot.” Geralt readjusted the blanket he had tucked into the crook of his arm, setting off to find a decent spot to place it on the ground, and Jaskier managed to follow after him.

It wouldn’t be the worst day ever, he knew that. As they walked past a trash can he quickly polished off his milkshake, tossing the cup into the trash and jogging a few steps to catch up, trying to shove his frustration off to the side as he sent a brilliant smile towards his beloved. Brilliant if a bit...more forced than usual.

Not that he didn’t love and adore his dearest, most precious person, the light of his life, his muse, who he could stare at for hours and hours and still find more poetry within his soul for. Jaskier loved him above any other and could spend every waking moment in his company and never tire or bore of him. It was just that, well...

The lingerie he’d slipped on this morning felt tight as he heaved a sigh, Geralt having finally found a suitable place for them to settle down and watch as the first band tuned their instruments before their performance. He had just planned for today’s waking moments to be a bit different than how they’d turned out, is all. The package had finally arrived the night before and he’d practically squealed in delight to find the black straps and floral decorative crossings to fit perfectly on him, and had really wanted to spend the day in making use of his sexy new getup. 

It wasn’t really Geralt’s fault, either. Geralt straightened out the old crochet blanket, finally plopping himself down and making enough room for Jaskier at his side. Looking up at Jaskier, he patted the spot right next to him, opening his arm up for Jaskier to scoot up close and snuggle into him while they waited for the music.

Geralt hadn’t been let in on the plans, given they’d been made entirely within Jaskier’s daydreaming throughout the night - and apparently this outing had been a surprise meant for Jaskier to begin with. The music would, supposedly, be to his liking, and the lesser crowds would mean that Geralt would be able to stay the whole time instead of having to wander off halfway through for some quiet time.

It was sweet, it really was. That his beloved thought of him like this and did his best to plan a surprise. It made Jaskier feel a twinge of guilt in his chest for feeling so frustrated over things not going his own way. Geralt was so bad at surprises, wasn’t that good at secrets or planning things on his own. Actually wasn’t that good at gifts just because he didn’t ever know what to buy people, better at making his love known through his own actions instead. So for him to plan this, make sure they had a blanket and enough time to get settled in, to look up events and music and the like, buy tickets ahead of time...

Jaskier cozied up closer to him, turning to nuzzle his cheek with his nose as the band started to sing warmup vocals, still testing the sound equipment. As he did he heard Geralt’s typical content hum and he closed his eyes, reminding himself that there was so much to enjoy in this moment, even if it wasn’t the moment he’d thought he’d be having.

The hand now in his own was so warm it was a bit sweaty but he found he didn’t care, the other resting on his hip rubbing gentle and soothing patterns there. Jaskier hummed himself, kissing the light stubble on Geralt’s cheek and practically melting into him.

“Thank you.” He pressed the words into his cheek between soft kisses, feeling Geralt lean into him as well and squeezing his hand warmly. “This was all so sweet, love. How did you even hear about this? I don’t think anyone has mentioned it to me, and I usually hear about these sorts of things, you know.”

“Triss.” Geralt turned his head to bump their noses together, his long white lashes gracing the top of his cheekbones. “She made sure no one told you.”

“Really?” He somehow didn’t doubt it but he’d had no idea that she knew all of his band groupie friends, who would have normally been spewing about any sort of indie music coming to their little town. That just made him feel even squishier - his friends were far, far too good to him, most of all his precious Geralt. “I’m blown away love, you’ve done so much for me! Spoil me rotten, never leave me wanting, you know my heart so well.”

“Haven’t even heard the music left.” He was arguing, but his eyes had cracked open and there was humor lighting them up. 

“If you think I’ll like it,” Jaskier said, brushing their noses together softly, “then I know I’ll love it. And I promise to treat you right back, dearheart, you’ve earned it.”

“Oh?”

Jaskier bit his lower lip, knowing full well it would catch his love’s attention - and like clockwork those gorgeous golden eyes flicked down to watch the movement, to watch his tongue flick out after and wet his lips.

“I’ve got a surprise for you too, love,” he purred, letting his free hand rest on Geralt’s thigh, a little lower than should technically be publically appropriate. But the crowd was tuned into the stage, the band finally starting with their introductions, drawing all eyes far away from them. Giving him time to give an appreciative squeeze to the thick muscle that was softened by healthy weight, feeling heat between them that had nothing to do with the unbearable summer heat.

“Lift up my shirt some, love.”

Geralt cocked his head in that way that was unfairly cute, but did as he asked, and Jaskier got to see his pupils blow wide up close at what he saw. His shirt got tucked down quickly as Geralt closed his eyes and swallowed, leaning their foreheads together while Jaskier grinned in mischievous delight.

“Yours is better,” Geralt managed, his fingers now tighter on his hip than they’d been before. And though Geralt had done his best and had been so very very sweet, and maybe it was just his dick talking (and maybe it was a little rude to not argue) Jaskier couldn’t help but agree.

[closedcoffins]

lambert - speech, manner, intent.

i’ve been deliberating this specific acknowledgement of my portrayal of lambert for a bit and since it’s difficult to work in organically to threads i decided i’d make a post about it.

lambert is very deliberate in everything he chooses to do or chooses not to do. that said, this even extends to his manner of speaking. lambert goes out of his way to speak cleanly, concisely, and properly in terms of tone and enunciation---mocking the general thought that witchers always sound coarse and rough.

 along the same line, his words themselves are also intentional---he’s intimately familiar with manners and etiquette (we see him being the only person to lecture ciri about things like keeping her elbows off the table, etc) but actively chooses to break them around people like vesemir and triss, whom he does not respect.  in my interpretation, every breach of etiquette from lambert, since we know he knows full well how to behave “properly”, is done either to showcase his dislike of people or, alternatively, because he’s comfortable around them; this is the case with eskel, geralt, ciri, kiera, aiden, and---to everyone’s surprise---yennefer.

also, despite popular opinion, his rudeness is not a sign of affection. he teases people he likes and will often let affection slip through his carefully upheld mean exterior---if he’s genuinely just rude to someone, no holds barred, he genuinely does not like them.

[drowningbydegrees]

This is my @thewitchersecretsanta gift for @kat-atomic, who mentioned liking modern AU’s with witcher powers etc. and humor. I hope this delivers! Thank you so much @goodheavensgwen for betaing this! <3 Note: This is largely fluffy and ridiculous, but there’s some canon typical mention of blood and injury.

Read on AO3

There are very few things Jaskier can genuinely say he enjoys about working the night shift at the diner. There’s the 3 a.m. rush of customers when all the bars close who usually tip pretty decently. There’s the fact that Triss, the night manager, doesn’t mind if he spends his downtime writing music when his sidework is done. And there’s the occasional regular Jaskier finds himself enamored with.

Like the one on the sidewalk just outside, for instance, who Jaskier privately suspects is some sort of cryptid. With good reason! He only ever seems to turn up in the quietest part of Jaskier’s shift. He doesn’t look old by any stretch of the imagination, and he doesn’t strike Jaskier as the sort to commit to any sort of high maintenance beauty regimen, all of which is at odds with the silvery white hair that falls just a touch past his shoulders. If the hair weren’t noteworthy enough, his unnaturally gold eyes are haunting, like nothing Jaskier has ever seen. Not that he means to look, mind you, but they’re the kind of thing that sticks with Jaskier long after the man is gone. Appearances aside, there’s something about this particular customer that discourages questions and he always pays with cash, so despite coming in on a somewhat regular basis over the last year and a half - not often enough that Jaskier can work out any sort of pattern, but enough that there’s a table Jaskier has more or less decided is his - Jaskier doesn’t even know his name.

The blood is new though.

“Holy mother of- Are you okay?” Jaskier asks when he looks up and sees the man trudging through the door. Is that a limp? It’s hard to tell if he’s hurt or just exhausted. It seems like maybe hurt because that’s definitely blood matting his hair. Probably. Jaskier vaguely remembers hitting his head on the slide when he was little and it looking a bit like that, anyway. And if that’s blood, it suggests that the substance making the guy’s shirt stick unnaturally to his body is also blood, which kinda tracks with the fact that one of the sleeves is ripped to shreds.

The guy freezes, leaving Jaskier with the distinct impression that he’d hoped to come in unnoticed. As much as Jaskier enjoys listening to his gravelly voice, there’s nothing comforting about the reply. “It’s not mine.”

“Right. Okay. That’s- That’s a completely normal and not concerning thing to say. Also, I’m going to go ahead and call bullshit because your arm is… umm. Oh fuck! Your arm. Just, uhh… hang on a sec, okay?” Jaskier rushes off to the kitchen for the diner’s first aid kit, a few bar towels, and, after a hurried explanation to Triss, one of the work uniform button down shirts. First aid isn’t something that was really covered in training, but leaving someone bleeding in the foyer is almost certainly some kind of health code violation. Whatever the case, not wanting his favorite customer to bleed to death in the middle of his shift wins out over entertaining the notion that said customer might possibly be dangerous.

The foyer is empty when Jaskier returns, which admittedly makes more sense than the guy having stayed put. He’s undeniably mysterious, but he doesn’t seem unhinged enough to just wander in here like that without some kind of reason. Jaskier pokes his head into the restroom, assuming the man has gone there and… isn’t wrong. It’s just that he’s also not in a state of dress Jaskier would expect in a public space. The tattered remains of his shirt sit in the sink, and without the fabric to hide it, the gashes at the back of his shoulder, just where it meets his arm, are rather prominent. Oddly, that quells any real concern Jaskier might have had about what events led him here because they look like claw marks rather than anything human. Equally prominent are a really quite alarming number of other scars that litter the man’s back and chest from what Jaskier can see in the mirror.

The man has never struck Jaskier as particularly polite. He speaks very little. He never smiles. He always looks vaguely put upon when Jaskier tries to be nice to him. So it’s strangely endearing to see that, despite Jaskier being pretty sure he communicated he’d be right back, the man still looks sort of surprised to see him. That surprise only grows more visible when he sees the supplies Jaskier is holding. “I thought you might want to get cleaned up.”

The look the man gives him, like he’s expecting some kind of catch, makes Jaskier’s chest ache. Honestly, who does he interact with that getting help when he’s clearly injured is… not the expectation? The guy offers a quiet thanks that is very, very at odds with the whole possible (but probably not) serial killer vibe he’s got going on at the moment when Jaskier sets the supplies on the counter and starts to head back for the door.

“Do you need me to call someone for you… uh, sorry, I don’t actually know your name,” Jaskier finds himself asking, not sure why he can’t bring himself to just leave.

In the mirror the man’s brows crinkle in confusion, or maybe exasperation and he shakes his head. “No.”

“Are you sure?” Jaskier asks, watching the man awkwardly try to balance a pad against his wounded shoulder and wrap gauze around it without nearly enough hands. “It kinda looks like those might need stitches.”

“I said no.” Definitely exasperation this time, probably at Jaskier, but maybe also at his current predicament. Tape would be better than the roll of gauze, but there isn’t any.

“Right. Okay…” The reasonable thing to do would be to go back to work and just leave the guy to it. It’s not his job. They don’t know each other. The guy’s insistence on not wanting him to call for assistance should probably be suspicious. But, Jaskier has never done the reasonable thing once in his entire life and he doesn’t intend to start now. If he can’t get the guy actual, maybe qualified assistance, he also can’t bring himself to walk away. “Can I help?”

The man shifts in obvious discomfort, but eventually he concedes with a terse nod. He silently holds the pad against his shoulder while Jaskier unrolls the gauze and tries very hard to keep his eyes mostly averted. It’s that or Jaskier is going to end up ogling the guy’s quite frankly gorgeous everything and this really doesn’t seem like the time for that.

“Geralt,” the man says sort of out of the blue as Jaskier winds the gauze around the injury. It startles Jaskier into looking up. “My name.”

“Oh!” Geralt. Jaskier repeats it in his head. It’s nice to finally have a name to go with Geralt’s unfairly pretty face. He’s being rude though, Jaskier realizes, and shakes his head and ties off the bandaging. “I’m Jaskier.”

“I know,” Geralt says softly, like it’s some sort of confession.

Right. Of course. He’s probably introduced himself a dozen times. But customers usually forget his name, so it makes Jaskier smile anyway.

“So… Geralt. I don’t want to pry or anything.” The way Geralt tenses, Jaskier is sorry for opening his mouth. But, contrary to what everyone else in his life seems to think, he is not entirely without a self-preservation instinct. He’s not blind to how weird this whole situation is, even though he’s pretty sure Geralt didn’t actually kill anyone. “Did something happen? You’re not in some kind of trouble, are you?”

“No.”

“Right.” It seems whatever strange set of circumstances made Geralt inclined to talk to him has passed. “Well, that’s illuminating.”

Geralt’s expression scrunches like he’s just bitten into a lemon. “It’s not important.”

Inexplicably, that hurts. Not for his own sake. Geralt has no reason to confide in Jaskier specifically. It’s just that it seems like Geralt’s default assumption that he won’t be trusted, coupled with literally everything else Jaskier has seen tonight, paints a sort of lonely, heartbreaking picture. Or, maybe that’s just Jaskier’s inner poet talking. He’s never entirely certain. All the same, he offers what he hopes is a friendly smile. “Suit yourself, but you should know if you don’t tell me, I’m going to make something up and it will be absolutely ridiculous.”

Geralt’s expression smoothes out into a careful sort of indifference. Jaskier is sort of tempted to linger, but there’s really no excuse, and the longer he stays, the more likely Jaskier is to say something that’s just going to embarrass them both. Reluctantly, he steps away. “Well, I’ll just, you know, leave you to it.”

***

By the time Jaskier comes back out into the dining room, Triss looks like she’d been about thirty seconds away from coming in to check on them herself. As he assures her that it’s not actually as bad as he’d first thought, and no she really doesn’t need to call an ambulance or anything, Jaskier finds himself very, very glad he had been in too much of a rush to share his initial concerns with her or he suspects this conversation would be going very differently.

But Triss lets things be, and Jaskier tries to get back to normal.

It’s very convenient, Jaskier thinks, that Geralt always orders the same thing. In retrospect, that might be because he’s some kind of world champion at avoiding conversation at all costs, but Jaskier assumes he’s just a creature of habit. Probably. Either way, Jaskier puts in an order and pours a cup of coffee, glad for something to busy himself with while he waits.

Much to Jaskier’s surprise, Geralt looks more or less himself when he emerges from the restroom. His hair is wet, probably from rinsing the mess out of it, but with long sleeves covering the gash Jaskier had patched up, only the slight unevenness in his step gives away that anything is wrong at all. That and the heavy sigh he breathes out when he finally sits down in the diner booth. Jaskier has heard that one before and wonders if Geralt makes a habit of coming in here when he’s hurting or if that sigh is just one born of exhaustion.

Geralt’s expression does a funny thing when he sees the coffee mug. It might be surprise, but Jaskier can’t think for the life of him why. “Thank you.”

It’s the same quiet, sort of reluctant tone Geralt had thanked him with earlier, and dear lord is no one ever just kind to him or something? Nevermind that this is literally Jaskier’s job. He wants to ask, but he can’t imagine the question going over well, so Jaskier leans against the side of the bench opposite Geralt and smiles, gesturing at the uniform shirt. “It’s a good look. You might have a real future here.”

By some miracle, that pulls what Jaskier thinks might be a smile from Geralt. It’s a small, subtle thing like Geralt isn’t quite certain how the expression fits on his face, and gone almost immediately, but it was there, if just for a second. “I’ll keep it in mind if I ever need a new line of work.”

“I mean, if my line of work tore up my wardrobe like that, I’d probably have noped out already,” Jaskier jokes.

“Hmm,” Geralt replies, staring resolutely into his coffee mug.

“So, I gotta ask,” Jaskier ventures when a few seconds pass and Geralt doesn’t glare at him for lingering. “Not that I mind, but there are like, a dozen places I’d be more apt to patch myself up than a diner bathroom.”

“Everything else is closed,” Geralt says from behind his mug, amber eyes briefly fluttering shut.

“Of course. That explains… Wait. That doesn’t explain anything. There’s literally a hospital two miles down the road. I’d probably-” Jaskier pauses when Geralt’s eyes crack open again, fixating on him. Something about it makes Jaskier far less certain of what he’s saying, and it comes out with a questioning sort of uptick at the end. “You know, try… there?”

“They don’t tend to be keen on my kind,” Geralt replies gruffly.

Jaskier has no idea what that means. “Uhh… uninsured?”

“A witcher.” Geralt glowers at Jaskier, but he says the word like it’s physically painful, a mouth full of broken glass.

Jaskier has never met a witcher, he’s pretty sure, but he’s heard the stories, same as everyone. Witchers are supposedly nearly as dangerous as the creatures they hunt, more monsters than men and never to be trusted. They’re not quiet and unobtrusive and startled by acts of kindness, surely. So, either Geralt is not what he seems or the stories are bullshit, and given the way this particular witcher looks like he’s braced for a blow, Jaskier is willing to bet it’s the latter.

Jaskier can’t help wanting to understand what kind of life Geralt must live that this is where he ends up in the small hours of the morning, injured and seemingly alone. It makes him privately furious, but somehow he doesn’t think the spectacle will be appreciated, even though it’s on Geralt’s behalf. Maybe especially because it’s on Geralt’s behalf, judging by the efforts the witcher goes to to be unobtrusive. So, Jaskier doesn’t say the first thing that comes to mind about how rotten humanity is. Instead, he says the second thing that comes to mind, which is equally unfortunate. “Well, that explains your eyes.”

Geralt’s expression goes stormy, and Jaskier only belatedly realizes he must have taken that as an insult. But about the time Jaskier opens his mouth to explain, Geralt seems to gather that he might have misunderstood. His brows crease as he looks at Jaskier, as if trying to puzzle something out. “What about them?”

“They’re beautiful,” Jaskier blurts out, which, oh that was not what he meant to say at all. Melting through the floor would be great about now. Or maybe disappearing entirely. Really, anything but standing here with Geralt staring at him like he’s grown a second head. Scrambling for an excuse to leave that won’t look like he’s running away - even though he definitely is - Jaskier forces a smile, taking a step backwards. “I’ll just… go get you some more coffee.”

Suddenly discovering his escaped sense of self-preservation, Jaskier doesn’t come back with coffee. His curiosity is tempered by embarrassment, so he stays away until Geralt’s order is up and he has an actual legitimate reason to drift back to the guy’s table. Jaskier does his best to straddle the line between friendly and professional as he sets down the plate. He has every intention of leaving Geralt to eat in peace, so Jaskier startles a little when Geralt speaks up before he can leave. “It was a basilisk.”

“A… like the ‘turn you into stone’ kind of basilisk?” Jaskier turns back and sort of wishes he hadn’t because Geralt looks rather sorry for having said anything.

“That’s just a myth. They don’t do that,” Geralt counters. Jaskier waits for him to expound on that further, but he doesn’t.

Jaskier has never seen a basilisk either, so it seems entirely natural to ask, “Then, what do they do?”

A funny thing happens. To Jaskier’s complete and utter surprise Geralt talks. Not in the teeth pulling miserable way he’s said most everything else, but like it’s a conversation he genuinely doesn’t mind having. Jaskier keeps half an eye on the door, but it’s Monday night, so it’s no great surprise that no one else comes in.

In the absence of other customers to tend to, Jaskier eventually just slides into the seat across from Geralt to listen. It’s not subject matter that Jaskier has ever considered, but it’s interesting if only for how it relates to Geralt. Huffing out a laugh, Jaskier cuts in. “To hear you tell it, people are as stupid and superstitious as they are… unkind. I suppose next thing you’ll be telling me is that vampires don’t actually burn up in the sunlight.”

Geralt pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs for definitely not the first time tonight. Honestly, Jaskier is coming to be just a bit fond of it. “They don’t.”

“Wait, really?”

Jaskier is thrilled to discover he doesn’t even have to press for details. Before he knows it, he’s learned more about vampires than he even thought there was to know. Along with fiends, leshens, and what might possibly be the entire list of contracts Geralt has taken in the last month. There’s a consistent thread through all of it that leaves Jaskier warm and maybe a bit embarrassed that he’d ever thought Geralt could be dangerous. “You don’t talk about them like they’re things you kill.”

“I don’t if I can help it. It’s not their fault humans sprawl out into the places they live.” Geralt thumbs at the handle of his coffee mug, staring at the contents that have long since gone cold.

Desperate to drive off the strange sense of melancholy creeping in, Jaskier grasps for some other direction he can steer the conversation. Hastily, he runs through what Geralt has talked about already, and gets a bit stuck on a concerning thought, given how often the witcher is here. “So, are there a lot of monsters around here?”

Crisis averted, Jaskier thinks. Geralt’s shoulders tense across the table, but at least he doesn’t seem sad anymore. “Not really.”

That really just brings more questions than it answers. “Oh, well that’s a relief, I guess. I’d hate to be out hiking and get eaten by a noonwraith or something.”

“Noonwraiths don’t live in forests. Don’t even live, really. They’re...” Geralt makes a face that Jaskier assumes means he’s caught on that it was a joke. That said, Jaskier admires his commitment to finishing anyway. “More like trapped spirits.”

“You’re the expert,” Jaskier says agreeably, not quite managing to stifle the urge to laugh. “So what is it that keeps bringing you here, then? Do witchers have territories or something? Do you live around here? Actually, no. That’s a stupid question. If you lived around here you wouldn’t have wound up here like that…”

He expects the look of annoyance he seems to have gotten very good at drawing from Geralt so far. What he doesn’t expect is the way Geralt’s gaze darts away, looking at pretty much anything but Jaskier. “No.”

“No what?”

“All of it. This is just on the way to a lot of the places I end up,” Geralt clarifies with a heavy sigh. It’s a lie, Jaskier is pretty sure, because this podunk down isn’t really on the way to anywhere, and the rest of Geralt’s answer confirms as much. “... ish.”

“The coffee isn’t that good,” Jaskier teases. He doesn’t get it, but he does like Geralt, no matter how taciturn the witcher might be.

“It’s not.” Geralt tenses where he sits, and Jaskier thinks maybe he ought not to have pressed. As strange as today has been for him, it’s probably been awful for Geralt. Only Geralt doesn’t look upset. If anything, he ducks his head, a bit sheepish, muttering something under his breath.

Jaskier doesn’t even realize he’s leaned in closer until Geralt’s eyes widen just a fraction. “Sorry. I didn’t catch that.”

The way Geralt scowls, not at Jaskier but just in general, he thinks he’s not going to get an answer. He especially doesn’t think he’s going to get this particular answer, and yet Geralt very abruptly surrenders. “I don’t come here for the coffee.”

Oh. Jaskier bows his head to hide the smile that tugs at his lips. Somehow, it’s comforting to think that Geralt, who faces down monsters and seems generally put together is as awkward as he is. So much so that it takes him a second to even realize Geralt is maybe flirting with him. Definitely trying to judging by the vaguely terrified, deer in the headlights expression on the witcher’s face.

“I’m much better off the clock.” Jaskier immediately slaps a hand over his mouth, but it’s far too late. This is the point where Geralt realizes he’s made a terrible mistake. This is the moment where he decides maybe not to come back.

Whatever Jaskier expects, it’s not Geralt’s laughter, a surprised huff that sprawls out into something more concrete. It’s the loveliest sound Jaskier thinks he’s ever heard, and he can’t even bring himself to mind that it’s a little bit at his expense. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Before Jaskier can say anything, flirtatious or otherwise, there’s the familiar chime of someone coming through the door. Not that he needs the door to alert him. The raucous laughter does a good job on its own. That’d be the 3 a.m. crowd.

“I should… get back to work,” Jaskier reluctantly concedes and he’s pretty sure he doesn’t imagine the faintly disappointed look on Geralt’s face.

“Jaskier,” Geralt murmurs just as Jaskier is about to leave, softly enough he almost misses it. When he turns to look, the witcher’s jaw works for a moment before he says, “Thank you. For all this.”

“Any time,” Jaskier replies, not entirely surprised to find he means it. Even if nothing comes of their newfound camaraderie, maybe he’ll get a song out of it or something.

The 3 a.m. rush keeps him busy after that, and Jaskier only really makes it back to Geralt’s table to refill his coffee and bring him the check. By the time things slow down, Geralt is out the door, which is a good thing, honestly. He’s gotta sleep some time, Jaskier supposes.

Jaskier watches Geralt’s car disappear before he goes to clean up the table. As always, Geralt has left everything neatly stacked (yet another reason he’s Jaskier’s favorite customer). There are a few bills, and it’s only as he’s pocketing them that he notices writing on the receipt Geralt left behind.

A phone number is scrawled across the slip of paper, but it’s the note underneath that makes Jaskier grin as he pockets it for later.

Just in case you run into any noonwraiths in the woods.

(Fic Masterpost)

[sunflowersupremes]

What if the Witcher games are just Dandelion’s hallucinations?

It’s pretty strongly implied in the books and games that he drinks to excess, so what if he just hallucinated Geralt’s return from the dead? It certainly could explain all the lazy plot holes and strange occurrences. 

Dandelion just happens to be in the same city as Geralt shortly after his return, despite it not being somewhere he would logically be (he’s usually in a court or at Novigrad/Oxenfurt when he’s not traveling with Geralt. Since Foltest is absent there’s no official court)

Theres not very many good maps, but from what I can tell Flotsam (where he ended up in Witcher 2) is pretty far out of Dandelion’s way. If he had just left Mahakam then I can’t figure out why he went there? It’s not on his way anywhere he’d want to be. 

No mention of Mother Nenekke since she doesn’t like Dandelion

Dandelion gets into Toussant without being executed despite having been banished because why wouldn’t it work out in his dream world.

Dandelion inheriting a brothel is basically his greatest fantasy, so of course that shows up. 

Also he just happens to find the one succubus that doesn’t kill men and fuck it? Come on, that’s his wet dream right there.

Ciri goes to Dandelion for help, despite that not making a lot of sense (they’ve only met twice), but remember in Time of Contempt where he was basically pretending he was her wise uncle? Well getting to reconnect her with Geralt would let him live that out.

If you romance Yen and Triss in Witcher 3 and they dump Geralt Dandelion makes some pretty suggestive comments when he saves him. Maybe trying to make a relationship happen that didn’t happen before Geralt’s death???

Priscilla is basically just a rip off of Essi Daven since Dandlelion misses her and is confused about it (hence the sexual relationship)

A lot of characters that Dandelion doesn’t like get what’s coming to them:

Dijkstra gets killed by Geralt; he’s always rude to Dandelion and seems to scare him

Phillipa (who Dandelion also seems terrified of) gets turned into a bird and trapped in Dandelion’s own brothel

There’s a lot of opportunity for Geralt to lose Triss and Yen (Dandeion’s never approved of them) 

Yen isn’t mentioned until the second game and doesn’t feature as a character until the third which seems like something he would love.

Dandelion is abnormally helpful. In the books he mostly serves as moral support, but in the games he actually saves Geralt several times. 

[gwentmaster-geralt]

General About Post

What you will find on this blog

Not really particularly interested in fandom but I need somewhere to talk about my latest hyperfixation, right? Mostly text posts of thoughts I have while I’m playing the games and reading the books. Some pictures of snippets of the books I liked. Probably some reference posts I make more for me than for you. Maybe some Jaskier(Dandelion)/Geralt fics and art. 

Extremely comprehensive post of my views (and spoilers!) below cut (updated: 7/14/21 | 12/30/21)

Table of Contents

Do not interact

Pronouns

Currently playing/reading/watching

Previously played/read/watched

My fics

Thoughts on characters:

Main Characters

The Lodge

The Hansa

Ciri's Allies

The Witchers

Other

Villains

Thoughts on pairings

Other blogs

=====================================

1 - Do not interact if:

You don't want to

2 - Pronouns

Yeah

3 - Currently

Playing: Gwent, Witcher 2 (Vernon run)

Reading: --

Watching: Witcher s2 (2021), Wiédzmin (2002)

4 - Previously

Played:

The Witcher

The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings

Witcher 3: The Wild Hunt

Read:

The Last Wish / Le dernier voeu

Sword of Destiny / L'épée de la providence

1: Blood of Elves / 1: Le Sang des Elves

2: Time of Contempt

3: Baptism of Fire

4: Tower of the Swallow

5: Lady of the Lake

Season of Storms

Watched:

Netflix's Witcher s1 and s2

Nightmare of the Wolf

5 - My Fics (tumblr) (ao3):

stay (ao3) - geralt patches up dandelion

elixir (ao3) - geralt doesn't want jaskier to see him under his elixir's effects

soothed (ao3) - dandelion watches over wounded geralt

gift (ao3) - dandelion writes a song for geralt

warmth (ao3) - jaskier and geralt cuddle in brokilon

emotions (ao3) - the bard following geralt has questions about witchers' emotions

safety (ao3) - geralt comforts dandelion after a nightmare

grief (ao3) - dandelion watches geralt die

toussaint (ao3) - geralt confesses his feelings after dandelion decides to stay in toussaint

something familiar (ao3) - yennefer is on the run, and she's relieved to see someone she knows: jaskier

You may be thinking "cool, but are we on the same page in terms of opinions?"

6 - Thoughts on characters

7 - Main Characters

Geralt - Very attractive man. His personality is hard to pin down in the games since it's an RPG but in the books and shows it's obvious that while he pretends to be a super neutral, unemotional witcher, he's actually the totally compassionate hero type.

Yennefer - Super hot. A very grating character, however, though I love how distinct and defined her personality is.

Ciri - Possibly the coolest character in the franchise besides Regis. Princess. Victim. Outlaw. Witcher. Bisexual icon. She's so great and multi-faceted and strong, I adore her. Also very very in love with her Witcher 3 appearance. In the show, I think they captured her near-fearlessness and determination very well. She is exceptional.

Dandelion (aka Jaskier) - Real cutie. Usually, I describe him as Geralt's PR guy. Constantly in need of saving. Brings out the light-heartedness in Geralt. My favorite thing about him is how easy it was for him to actually recognize that Geralt is a person, not just a witcher. In the show, he seems to be super in love with Geralt. "Burn Butcher Burn" is a Taylor Swift–level breakup song. It just is.

8 - The Lodge

Triss Merigold - She was kind of nice in Blood of Elves, helping Ciri and all that, but her involvement with the Lodge of Sorceresses and also her repeated, embarrassing attempts at coming onto Geralt kind of ruined my opinion of her.

Phillipa Eilhart - This bitch! She's so presumptuous and rude and entitled. Jesus. Really the physical manifestation of every negative stereotype of sorceresses.

Francesca Findabair - A relatively tolerable sorceress. In the show: Cool, but more emotional than I expected her to be. And fucking brutal. Not a bad thing I guess. She'll be a good leader for the Scoi'atel.

Sheala de Tancarville

Fringilla Vigo

Margarita Laux-Antille

Keira Metz

Sabrina Glevissig

Assire var Anahid

9 - The Hansa

Regis - Regis, my beloved ❤️The vampire that captured my heart ❤️❤️❤️Extremely relieved he is not dead!!! Games are canon, you cannot convince me otherwise

Milva - Very cool, unparalleled badass, I would feel very safe with her around, physically but also emotionally because I feel like she's sarcastic but nice and very loyal.

Cahir - On the one hand, it's kind of creepy he's in love with Ciri. On the other hand, he really has grown on me and he's really talented and presumably hot and he becomes really committed to his hansa. His death hit me hard ☹️. In the show: Poorly cast but I'm interested to see where they go with his character.

Angoulême - Kind of annoying, kind of endearing.

10 - Ciri's Allies

Avallac'h - Probably the least terrible elf, like, the only one who wasn't a total bitch to Ciri, and it's kinda cute he was in love with Lara Dorren and Ciri looks kinda like Lara but he knows she's not. Like all Alder elves, a piece of shit, but less of a piece of shit than the rest of them.

Mistle - Really, really not the best start to a relationship with Ciri, but I'm glad they eventually had a good thing going.

The Rats - Yikes, but at least Ciri has friends and people to keep her safe(ish).

11 - The Witchers

Eskel - In the books: He's a total sweetheart and I love him. In the games: He's a total sweetheart and I love him. In the show: He's kind of a dick and he died too soon. He was Geralt's best childhood friend and they kill him off without building up his character first? Terrible writing.

Lambert - Always a dick but reliable, and I will always have fond memories of dressing up in Triss's clothes with him. He's a jerk to Ciri in the show and books, but he's kind of like an older brother - wants the best for her, but he's mean about it.

Coën - Love how he got along with Ciri :) He's also pretty cool in the show.

Vesemir - He had a good role as a father figure for the witchers. In the show, I don't think he would've tried to make more witchers - he was present for and helped assist the creation of new witchers and knew how awful it was, and I don't think he'd want to repeat it.

Other witchers from the show: Nice addition for the intended purposes (giving more of a community feel to Kaer Morhen, and it made the Witcher guild a little less sad). That final fight scene... They were kind of weak, for witchers, but I'll let it go because they're not Geralt.

12 - Honorable mentions of characters I like

Zoltan Chivay

Yarpen Zigrin

Calanthe

TV Tissaia de Vries

Mousesack/Ermion

13 - Thoughts on villains

Leo Bonhart - Truly, I hate him probably more than I hate Ramsay Bolton. I just wanted him to die but he was too damn powerful. Honestly, there was nothing more satisfying than his death.

Vilgefortz - Book Vilgefortz: What a fucking creep! Yikes!!!! TV Vilgefortz: What a hottie!!! Good god!!!!!

Emhyr var Emreis - Kind of surprised the man has a heart? Insanely creepy he planned to marry and impregnate his own daughter but I'm glad he finally let her go and married fake Cirilla instead and even was very considerate towards fake Cirilla at the end.

Eredin - Also a creep, like most villains, but he's kind of a distant villain so I just don't really have many thoughts on him.

Sigismund Djikstra - He's so smart, and so committed to his principles. I like him a lot, even though he works against the main characters sometimes. He's just a well-designed, distinct character overall.

14 - Thoughts on video game characters (Jan '22)

WIP

Iorveth (2) - Hot but homicidal. 👍

Vernon Roche (2,3) - Hot. 👍

Ves (2,3) - Hot. 👍

Saskia (2) - Good ideals but tried to kill me twice so not sure I can look past that 🤙

Letho (2) - Always what I imagined Bonhart to look like... Gross and evil. 👎

Berengar (1) - Whiny jerk. 👎

Alvin (1) - Geralt isn't ready for kids and also Alvin is annoying. 👎

Radovid V (1,2,3) - Yikes maybe stop killing people and being a genocidal piece of shit? 👎

Yaevinn (1) - Hot but not very helpful 👍

Thaler (1,2,3) - Funny guy, good at his job 👍

Siegfried of Denesle (1) - We're buddies ever since we killed a monster in the sewers of Vizima together. 👍

Shani (1,3) - Stop trying to marry Geralt and adopt children with him!! omg. Y'all work great as friends but he's just not that into you 👍

Skjall (3) - He tried 🤙

an Craites (Cerys, Crach, Hjalmar) (3) 🤙

Gaunter O'Dimm - Evil but an overall fun guy 👍

That one guy from the expansion - Evil but hot 👍

Priscilla - Good as Jaskier's homie 👍

Detlaff - Eventually evil but hot (yes, even in that form) 👍

14 - Thoughts on pairings

Geralt/Yennefer - It's destiny, right? Kinda cute how head-over-heels Geralt is for her, and how he fell in love so quickly. And then she fell so hard for him too. Also, both are so strong-willed that they have a pretty non-traditional dynamic and I think that's interesting.

Geralt/Jaskier(Dandelion) - Opposites attract. This one is my favorite. Cute as hell. Geralt is jaded and cynical except... he's fallen for this cheerful, upbeat bard. Jaskier is interested in fame and amusement and women except... he's fallen for this serious warrior who is shunned by society. If the series hadn't started thirty years ago, before the gay era, you know these two would've been fucking in canon.

Yennefer/Jaskier(Dandelion) - lol jk [Update Jan'22: I cannot believe I'm saying this but under the right circumstances, they are a great pairing. Good friendship (eventually). Good sex, presumably. But no romance.]

Geralt/Triss - I guess this was a thing in Witcher 1 and 2 but I don't really see the chemistry. And I don't like how pushy she was in Blood of Elves.

Geralt/Cahir - Enemies to lovers!!! Enemies to lovers!!!!!!!!!!!

Ciri/Anyone - Headcanon that Ciri is not romantically or sexually interested in anyone beyond occasional curiosity.

15 - Thoughts on Specific Stories

Netflix Show: I don't like a lot of the changes that were made - Jaskier and Geralt's relationship (though the conflict gives it greater narrative value), Yennefer's choice to sacrifice Ciri in s2 (though the choice gave her greater narrative value), etc. But I do think it is adapted pretty well for TV.

Books: My favorites probably (besides Witcher 3), though it was at times frustrating to hear about characters I didn't care about when I just wanted to hear about the ones who did interest me. Favorite parts: "A Little Sacrifice;" Geralt going to the sorcerer party in book 2; almost everything with the hansa, especially with Regis.

Games: Witcher 1 & 2 are good but frustrating to move around in because Geralt is slow and it is not completely open-world. Witcher 3 is one of my all-time favorite games, both the gameplay and the story, and I love the role-playing aspect to it and the details and how choices actually have consequences. The Blood and Wine is probably my favorite because Toussaint and Regis are great.

16 - Other blogs

@actualsoyboy - main blog

@audi-nos-bitch - supernatural blog

@my-hero-lemillion - bnha blog

@foxthefanboi - creation blog (gifs & fics)

@fierathegamer - gaming blog