#i was very calculated with who i tagged btw

[ghuleh-recs]

♡ Fandom Faves Tag ♡

Tag 1-3 (or as many as you want) of your favorite creators (writers, artists, outstanding members of the community etc) and link your favorite creation if you can.

Thank you for the tags @midnight-moth and @coffeeghoulie! I'm gonna challenge myself to not wax poetic and keep these extra short and sweet. That way it's not as intimidating for others to participate (hope that makes sense). Oh and I'm not putting a "keep reading."

Witness my faves (ง •̀_•́)ง

@midnight-moth (who started this tag game ♡) drew THE Phantom art of all time and I recently went absolutely feral for:

Buried in Treasure - Dew x Phantom - E, 3.6k

When his eyes roll forward again, he notices more than just the same riff playing over and over. He notices Phantom’s grip on his hand simultaneously go still and tight. He notices the rosy flush on his cheeks, and the tent in his pants that he tries to conceal with the hand holding the phone. It takes more than a few seconds for all of the dots to connect and when the thought is fully formed, Dew grabs the phone and launches it to the end of the bed.

@ramblingoak hey why is there an angel in the satanic band fandom? I created this whole blog so I could shout about:

The Cardinal's Bride - Cardinal Copia x F!Reader - E, 91k (wip)

A Romantic Adventure in the Old West: After being forced into a marriage with Mr. Saltarian by your father you are sent west to his estate in Nevada. Along the way you end up meeting one of the cowboys you have always fantasized about…

@conjuring-ghouls finds the perfect moments and turns them into the loveliest gifs. On top of that she is endlessly kind and supportive. Look at these!!!

@coffeeghoulie is writing the Aeon x Swiss hurt/comfort fic of y'all's dreams and I got to do my first "official" art collab for it yay!!

Eternal Heatstroke - Aeon x Swiss - M, 17k (wip)

For once in their life, Aeon feels lucky. Whoever's opened this portal, whoever's summoning ghouls Up Top, specifically wants a quintessence ghoul. They may not be the biggest or strongest quintessence ghoul, far from it, but they'll do anything this summoner wants if it means they get to live. Or: being Topside is a drastic change from the life Aeon's used to.

@writingjourney truly the kindest soul and an absurdly talented writer. I screenshot Ibi's tags on my posts all the time because they cheer me up so much ����🥹

Friday Nights (series) - Papas x GN!Reader - E, 40k

“But to die as lovers may - to die together, so that they may live together.” ― Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu, Carmilla Each of these stories features a vampire papa and a gender neutral reader.

@anamelessfool writes some of the best world building and characterizations that I have ever read in fanfiction AND she's a fantastic artist.

Violence & Gentleness - Primo x OC - E, 50k (wip)

You made me forget myself...I thought I was someone else, someone good... LATE OCTOBER 1979 Primo has his work cut out for him as the bodyguard of the beautiful and fearsome Mater Emerita Jocasta. As mystery after mystery unfolds, it becomes harder to remain a honest man in this den of thieves called the Ministry.

@foxybouquet makes wonderful art and her colloquial Italian posts are an incredible resource for the fandom.

@angellayercake has angel in her username for a reason tbh. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I learned important things about myself and my love language whilst reading the brilliant:

Banchetto - Terzo x F!Reader - E, 22k (wip)

Papa Emeritus III is struggling to adapt to his life after the Ghost project but perhaps some good homemade Italian food will do the trick.

(I'm cutting myself off here because I could do this all day. I will probably be making another list in the near future because I love and admire so many of you. 😅)

No pressure at all but I would really love to see this tag game keep going! If you're reading this please consider adding some of your personal favorites to the list! This fandom could use some positivity right about now ♡

[noirofthestars]

hi, this is my boy, he doesn't have a name, but i really love him

[rascal-xo]

What's up! Umm, I got a request another actually ideas be popping in my head. For ghost x reader, where the reader is a world-class boxer and is like undefeated like the reader is pretty much female Mike tyson (BTW if you don't know who Mike tyson is he was pretty much a scary boxer who knocked people ass out , people were scared of him and he bit someone ear off ) and reader is like so deadly in the ring she almost kills someone or gets called this pretty sick nickname and everyone on the task force is afraid of her but ghost being ghost doubts the readers skills and challenges the reader in the ring and gets his ass beaten badly like a REALLY bad broken nose, jaw or like gets his ass knocked out. Just a thought: I hope this is acceptable 🙏. I love your writing.

Sunday Punch | Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x Female Reader

Chapter summary: You’re a lethal fighter in the ring, and a seasoned soldier in the field. The 141 get front tickets to your underground double life.

Warnings: Fights, bodily injury, blood, language

Tags: @glitteryeggalmondherring @fiveshelmet @madamemelancholysstuff @myguiltypleasure @pukbadger

A/N: Ty for sending in another amazing request! you keep my brain happy lolll 🩷🩷 I hope you enjoy! (It’s a long one i’m sorry LMAO i got carried away)

P.S: Sunday Punch is just another way of saying KnockOut.

It’s no secret that you’re a talented soldier. With every move you make in the field, you showcases an unrivaled combination of skill, agility, and raw power. You holdheld quite the reputation around base, especially for your skills in combat.

Most of the younger cadets at the academy were also hesitant to be paired up with you, mostly afraid to get knocked out.

Whether it's engaging in close-quarters combat or taking down enemies from a distance, your every move is calculated and executed to your advantage. Your training has molded you into a formidable force, capable of adapting to any situation with ease.

But you haven’t always been like that. Going through the ranks before and during your recruitment to the 141, you were pushed beyond your boundaries and worked through.

Now you’re lethal, and one of the military’s strongest assets. But like anyone else, you have hobbies. Dangerous hobbies.

You step into the dimly lit underground arena, the air thick with anticipation. It's early, and the entire space lies empty, granting you a moment of solitude before the chaos ensues. The only sound is the distant hum of the overhead lights, casting an ethereal glow over the barren ring.

With a focused gaze, you tighten your fists and step forward. Your first strike connects with the bag, and the impact reverberates through the arena like a gunshot. The sound echoes off the empty seats, filling the air with the thunderous force of your blows.

The scent of sweat and anticipation lingers in the air, fueling your senses. Your muscles ripple beneath your skin, coiled and ready for action.

Your teammates on the 141 know you lead a mysterious life when you’re not at work, but have never seen you in action. You decided that it was time to let your most trusted friends in on your endeavors. Mostly because Soap was dying to see you in the ring.

The Captain isn’t very fond of you putting yourself into dangerous situations outside of your already severely dangerous occupation. He’s like a father to you, but he also understands and respects your talent.

Now as you sit in your dimly lit dressing room, the anticipation of the upcoming underground boxing match courses through your veins. The air is thick with the scent of sweat and determination, mingling with the faint echo of distant cheers from the eager crowd.

The mirror before you reflects the flickering glow of a single bare lightbulb dangling from above, casting shadows across your face.

You take a deep breath, the adrenaline surging within you as you run your fingers through your hair. The rhythmic motion of braiding your hair has always been a ritual before each fight or mission, a way to focus your mind and steel your resolve.

“Quite a crowd tonight, Bullet.” A voice breaks the silence. You look up to see Anchor, the man who arranges the fights. You’ve been fighting in his arena for 3 years.

He’s wearing his signature navy blue suit, his hair gelled and a championship ring on each finger. He throws you an envelope and you catch it on your bare lap. “Three thousand. Five when you win.” He winks, leaning against the doorframe. “You’ve got Tank Gomez tonight.”

You open the envelope and glance at its contents, the crisp bills tucked neatly within. Anchors the only other person you’ve ever trusted besides your team. He trained your mind to always be lethal and ready, coming from a fighting background himself. “Copy that.” You say, a smile at your lips.

“When do you deploy?” He asks, crossing his arms. “People don’t seem to care about me when ‘Bullet’ isn’t in the ring.” You shake your head at the nickname you’ve acquired.

“3 days. So don’t scuff me up too bad.” You tease, getting up to put on your robe.

The crowd awaits, hungry for the spectacle that is about to unfold. But it's more than just a performance; it's a test of your mettle, an opportunity to showcase your mastery of the craft.

With Anchor's support, you step forward, ready to embrace the chaos and reclaim your rightful place in the ring. The anticipation builds, the sound of the crowd growing louder as you make your way through the corridors.

As you step into the ring, the air crackles with anticipation. The crowd roars, their excitement reverberating through the arena. Across from you stands your opponent, a formidable figure, a big man whose sheer size alone could intimidate the faint of heart.

As you take your stance, a flicker of movement catches your attention from the corner seats. Soap, Price, Gaz, and Ghost, are there, watching you intently. Soap sends an energetic thumbs up, cheering you on.

Yet, as you meet Ghost's gaze, you notice his eyes. The usual seriousness is replaced by a coldness, an intensity that makes it unreadable. He looks away. Ghost has never been one to support your hobbies, but watches along anyway.

The referee's voice cuts through the tension, signaling the start of the fight. The world around you narrows, and everything else becomes a blur. It's just you, your opponent, and the dance of combat.

You move with purpose, your training guiding your every step. Dodging, weaving, and countering, you navigate the ring with grace and precision. Each blow is calculated, your fists finding their mark with practiced accuracy.

The big man lunges forward, his power evident in every punch he throws. But you refuse to be overwhelmed. Your speed and agility become your greatest assets, allowing you to evade his strikes while retaliating with your own punishing combinations.

“Argh!” One of his punches land, striking you right under the eye. You curse knowing the bruise it’s gonna leave later. You feel a little blood drop down your cheek. Recovering quickly you bounce back.

With each passing second, the intensity of the fight grows, both you and your opponent refusing to back down. Sweat beads on your brow, mingling with the taste of blood and adrenaline on your lips. The rounds blur together, time becoming inconsequential as you immerse yourself in the battle, fully present, fully alive.

As the final bell sounds, the crowd erupts in applause. The fight is over, your opponent is out cold, and you've given it your all. You stand tall in the center of the ring, catching your breath, as the referee holds your victory arm up high.

After a grueling workout, you find yourself in the open gym on the military base, sweat glistening on your brow and a towel draped around your neck. Your bruised knuckles draw your attention, serving as a reminder of the battle you fought in the ring just a week ago.

As you examine them, lost in your thoughts, the door swings open, and Ghost walks in, his presence commanding attention. “Hey.” You say to him, with a nod.

“You’re here.” He replies, monotonously. His normal gear is now replaced with gym shorts and T-shirt. He trades out the full skull mask with a black balaclava.

“Why wouldn’t I be.” You chuckle, watching as he sets down a weight. You would normally work out with Ghost as you’ve got sort of a friendship that’s built over the years.

Today he seems awfully distant. You feel the tension growing between the two of you. You knew he was never a fan of you fighting for show, he was the first person you told about your endeavors, and he wasn’t too thrilled.

Ghost's eyes briefly meet yours before shifting away. You lean against the hanging punching bag, and cross your arms. It's evident that he's harboring a deep anger, his normally calm demeanor shattered by the concern that has festered within him.

“It was nice of you to come out the other night.” You say, testing the waters. His head turns in your direction as he takes you in. His gaze stops at your knuckles.

“You’re gonna get yourself killed.” He says, looking right through you. You scoff a dry laugh.

“Haven’t yet.”

“You think this is funny?”

Ghost's voice cuts through the air, his anger palpable. You straighten up, meeting his gaze head-on, refusing to back down. The tension between you escalates, the air crackling with unresolved emotions.

"No, Simon, I don't think it's funny," you reply, your voice tinged with a mix of frustration and defiance. "But I also don't think it's fair for you to dictate what I can or cannot do. This is my choice, my path."

Ghost's eyes narrow, his anger simmering beneath the surface. "Your choice? This isn't just about you, Y/N," he snaps, his voice biting with a sense of betrayal. "Every time you step into that ring, you're not just risking your own life; you're risking everything."

His words hit you hard, the weight of his disappointment bearing down on you. You take a deep breath, struggling to find the right words to convey your own perspective.

“I've trained for this, I know what I'm doing."

Ghost scoffs, his disbelief evident in his tone. "Trained? You think a few months of underground fights make you invincible?”

“Fuck you. You never fucking supported anything I do!” You throw your towel down, needing to get away from him and get some fresh air into your system.

An hour later, Price calls you and the guys for the group training session. He divides the team into pairs for sparring, and to your surprise (or perhaps fate's twisted sense of humor), you find yourself standing face to face with Ghost.

The tension between you is palpable, the lingering anger and hurt casting a shadow over the training session.

Price's voice breaks through the silence, setting the rules and reminding everyone to "play nice." But deep down, you know that the emotions swirling inside you threaten to break through the facade of control.

The bell rings, signaling the start of the spar, and you and Ghost cautiously circle each other. As the seconds tick by, you feel the anger inside you bubbling to the surface, fueling your movements.

His movements are measured, his punches and kicks executed with surgical precision. He weaves in and out, his strikes landing with pinpoint accuracy, but you matche him blow for blow, refusing to back down.

The sound of fists meeting flesh echo through the training room as your strikes collided. The intensity of their spar escalates with each passing second, the energy between you crackling like electricity.

Without warning, you lash out, throwing a punch fueled by a mix of frustration and pent-up emotions. Your fist connects with Ghost's nose, the impact resounding through the air. Time seems to slow down for a moment as he staggers back, blood staining his balaclava from his broken nose.

The realization of what you've done hits you like a punch to the gut. The anger dissipates, replaced by a flood of guilt and regret. His eyes meet yours, raging and stone cold. “Fucking hell. You just don’t know when to stop do you?”.” He curses, his shoulder hitting yours as he leaves the mat.

“Si-wait!” You call after him, but before you can say anymore Price stops you.

Enough," Price's voice cuts through the air, firm and resolute. His gaze shifts between you and Ghost, assessing the situation. "Take a breather, both of you."

He gestures towards the side of the mat, signaling for you to step aside. You comply, your mind filled with a whirlwind of emotions.

A/N: That’s all I got for now or else imma be writing like 10,000 words just on this LMAO

[20thcentwriter]

Crumbs Asks:

You're going grocery shopping and the Ewanverse lads are tagging along. Describe the experience - who's most helpful, who pushes the trolley, who's getting lost down the freezer aisle, etc.

a/n this is a really interesting question!! I’m going to answer it though how the experience would be with them indiviually than them all together with me. that would just be chaos.

modern au for all charact btw lol

Pls send more asks like this, I love making headcannons hehe

Likes and reblogs are appreciated peeps

Without further ado

Aemond Targaryen- I feel like aemond would kinda just let you do your thing and just push the trolley, helping you if you need it. he just wants you to get what you need done. he isn’t horrible company though, he’s just kinda there. he wouldn’t get distracted.

Billy Taylor- Billy is an S tier person to tagalong with you shopping. extremely helpful, pushes the trolley, helps you reach for stuff. i mean he is a bell boy and customer service is the main part of his job. i personally think his love langauge is acts of service and gift giving but that non applicale so he fully enjoy just helping you. it’s safe to say he won’t be distracted as he’s just giving you all his help,

Michael Gavey - he would be the most help with math. he would be comparing prices on name brand and knockoff finding the best price. he would also be the best while shopping to tell you how much you’ve spent. pretty much a human calculator.

Osferth- pretty much like billy taylor, an amazing person to tagalong with you. also great company. i will say he would get distracted in the lingere and the sexual wellness section (we literally have a section at walmart that has different vibrators but in order to get one you have to ask for assitance since it’s locked up) looking at different toys, thinking very unholy thoughts because that boy is kinky

Billy Washington - he wouldn’t mind going if it meant spending time with you but he wouldn’t choose to go. mainly because he’s jobless and doesn’t have the money to spend so why would he go to the store. when he does come with you, he’s not the worst company he kinda just tags along behind you like a puppy.

Tom Bennett - he’s would be great company but he is a little shit (affectionately). he would be distracting you to the point you end of having to go back afterwards because he made you forget some items. he has you push the trolley but that’s because he wants to have his arm around your waist or shoulder. of course sarcastic comments but thats just Tom lol.

Genyen- He wouldn’t be horrible to bring with you, like he’d be helpful but youre bound to have shit you didn’t purchase in your shopping bags at the end. Bro the whole time is just stealing shit and trying to hide it. that’s all if he isn’t already banned from the store.

Ettore- his is the worst to bring along. Ettore should not be allowed to be in society. makes you push the trolley so he can look at your ass from behind, makes you grab items you cant reach so he can see your shirt ride up, touches you innapropiately.

the only character not here is Abraham because i honestly don’t even know.

[chaotic-neutral-knitter]

I saw this post going around and got really curious as to how OP came up with their numbers because I could not replicate them at all.

I was going to reply directly but it was getting very very long and I didn’t want to wade onto someone’s post with a bunch of my own stats bc it seemed rude, so I’m putting my response here.

I’m going to preface this by saying that I’m fully in the camp of “write because you like writing, not for an audience response” because if you don’t like the process of writing, there is no level of audience response that will make writing worth it. But. I’ve seen a lot of folks agonize over Ao3 stats and get stuck in the weeds on Ratios™. And I think there are a few really common misconceptions around what these numbers mean.

The rest of this is going to be under a readmore to spare y’all but basically it’s a breakdown of trying to calculate my own percentages like the OP in the original post and then dialing down into why hits != readers.

Here’s the stats from one of my fics as of today, May 1st 2023. I am by no means a prolific or widely known fic writer - I happen to be in a big fandom and writing for for the main pairing in that fandom.

completed multi chapter fic, rated Mature:

So this one has three chapters, 2736 hits, 436 kudos, and 146 comments. Kudos divided by hits is 16%.

“Oh no!” I might say, seeing this. “Only sixteen percent of people liked my fic enough to leave a kudos? Either my stuff is shit, or fic-readers are a bunch of lazy fucks who don’t appreciate the work I’ve put into this. Either way, I’m mad now!”

But (and I say this with a lot of love in my heart, I promise) that’s silly. Not just for the philosophical reasons of writing what makes you happy and not caring about the response. It’s silly because it’s wrong.

On a multi-chapter fic, each person who finishes it is responsible for at least 3 hits but can only leave 1 kudos. Dividing the total hits by 3 gives you 912 hits. So, once you’ve corrected for number of chapters, the percent of people who have hit kudos is 47%.

“Holy shit!” writer-me says, “I’ve published original fiction in my university newspaper, original fiction that I poured my heart and soul into btw, and if approximately half of the people who read it  sent me a little heart emoji, I would have died and gone to heaven. Fic readers are the Nicest, Most Generous, and Most Beautiful readers on the planet and I am so grateful to be in this community with them.”

But! 47% is still wrong. Here’s why.

Hits != Readers

I don’t how other people do this, but my process of reading a fic is often like this (each step is one hit):

open link from someone else's rec, try to click "mark for later"

realize I'm logged out. sign in to Ao3, go back to fic and click "mark for later"

come back to read fic, generating at least one hit per chapter

open a second tab so that I can write a comment as I go (again, generating at least one hit per chapter)

finish fic, create bookmark, and then navigate back to fic to mark it as read so it's taken off my marked for later page

if I really liked the fic, I'll end up opening it back up in a tag many times so I can rec it to people by sending them the link

if I really really liked the fic, I'll come back and read it again (this is doubly true for explicit fic, btw.)

I think I’m on the high end of generating hits, but it only takes a few of me to really dial up that hit counter. And most people are going to do one or two of these things - I’d argue that it’s pretty rare for someone to leave just one hit on a fic unless they nope out of it in the middle.

Formula for calculating number of readers from number of hits:

There isn’t one. And it would take a much better mathematician than me to make one. Because this is way more complicated than dividing by chapters. Most readers leave more than one hit - especially if they like the fic a lot. Short fics and explicit fics are more likely to be read multiple times.

“But what if I crave validation?” writer-me complains, irritated with math-me for not downloading statistics software, shoving a million Ao3 fics into it, and producing some kind of bullshit linear regression. “What if I constantly see people with higher kudos/hits ratios than me? This is all very optimistic but it really doesn’t jive with my deep seated belief that everyone secretly hates me all the time and they’re too nice to tell me about it. Do they hate me? They probably hate me, right? Tell me if you hate me.”

To which I say, listen very closely, writer-me. You can either decide that AO3 stats mean something and lose your damn mind deciphering what they mean, or you can be like that kid who got an avocado for christmas and say “it’s a avocado comment!! Thanks!! :D”

And that kid seemed pretty happy.

[compacflt]

hi!! very excited about your next batch! but i was wondering if you ever think of posting some of the (wonderful) female!mav scenes you wrote (the question mark on my computer decided to stop working but this is indeed a question)

have a great weekend!!

yeah sure! again— this isn’t finished and never will be finished, I posted the reasons below. But here are a bunch of snippets from the fem!mav/lesbian charliemav AU from this summer. Would love to hear your thoughts, because politically it gave me some pause! lol.

1. On how mav survives (the central motif of the one-shot is Mav cutting her hair with scissors which is why the emphasis here)

2. On ice (straight icemav will never work because fundamentally ice is a misogynistic cunt)

3. on sex with girly girls (one of life’s greatest pleasures)

ehhh you get the picture of what’s under the cut

4. on charliemav

5. on charlie

7. The end (post Layton mission [mav proving herself by saving ice’s life] and the end of TG86, Mav gearing up to cut her hair again in Charlie’s house)

and here, copy-pasted, were the tags i planned to affix to the charliemav one-shot, which I think explain also why I stopped writing it—maverick is insanely out of character here!

“some discussion of issues that would affect a female pilot in the 1980s in this one: SA, sexism, etc. u have been warned / i would love to talk to anyone about the politics of this one cause hoo boy i had to think about it / it’s a little personal to me too / i wouldn’t necessarily say i struggle with my gender identity but i do have a really complicated relationship with it / i think this mav is incredibly out of character / it turns out mav’s thoughtless overperformance of masculinity is so ingrained into his character that / if you make it intentional he/she turns into an entirely different character. / i often struggle with writing maverick way way too bitter (there’s something very gentle about tgm mav I struggle replicating) / & this is a VERY bitter & cynical & calculating mav as well. she has to be. But i fear i lose some of mav’s original character in the cynicism. 🤷🏽‍♀️ / that’s why i struggle writing AUs—you lose so much of the original characters who are DEFINED by the stories they’re from / if that makes sense. / i think a female maverick isn’t maverick. / you might as well be writing original fiction at that point. / this 1 shot is pretty much just original fiction. / idk would love to hear ppls thoughts on the fandom philosophy behind AUs / something i would love to think about more / top gun fanfiction / charlotte charlie Blackwood / pete maverick mitchell / Tom iceman kazansky/ nick goose bradshaw / genderbent top gun / charliemav / in this universe mav and Charlie break up and mav gets back together with Penny according to the tgm timeline btw / TGM mav might as well be a lesbian like nothing really has to change in the script at all. / post 2010 tom cruise just gives lesbian. no change necessary / soundtrack for this one is ‘I have a woman inside my soul’ by yoko ono”

I also stopped writing this one because I could not for the life of me figure out how to write goose, canonically a sexist just like mav and ice. made things difficult and a little awkward

[antikittysocial]

Time to yap about my eeveelution lore

this whole thing is based off of pokemon GO btw

Everyone started out as an eevee! obviously. At first there were only two. The first to evolve was also the eldest of the eevees, akito! He evolved into a sylveon. The second to evolve was the other, who evolved into a glaceon - these two were like older brothers to everyone else, and are practically inseparable. WILL throw hands (feelers? paws?) to protect each other. Also the glaceon is called Ace, they raced each other a lot. The third and fourth eevees were also brought in and taken care of, and so the older brother duo thing started. One evolved into an espeon. these two... basically ALWAYS got into trouble. Sneaking snacks around, breaking stuff with telekenisis, etc. Then a flareon was caught! So current situation, in order of being brought in: Sylveon (Akito), Glaceon (Ace), Espeon (Oliver), Eevee (Levi) and Flareon (Asher, nicknamed firefighter as a joke). Okay! So, because it took a lot of time and effort to take care of so many vees, the trainer only had time for some of the vees at nighttime. This eventually resulted in Levi (eevee) evolving into an umbreon! ...which lead to more espeon-umbreon tag-team telekenisis mayhem. Oftentimes Akito (sylveon) or Ace (glaceon) came to sort it out tho. (But they don't snitch! Just try to stop them and put all the stuff back. Once, Ace got stuck in the fridge and took a nap there after putting away some treats Levi snuck out at night. No one realised until next morning, and left everyone wondering how glaceon biology works. And what about Asher, you may ask? He is a certified good boi :3 very playful and often plays games with everyone else! As a result everyone loves him. And for good reason, he always means the best for everyone. Very pure stuff! After a lot more eevee hunting, another 3 were brought in. On the way back from a walk through a nearby park the second one evolved into a leafeon, which ended up becoming an inside joke as to how quickly he evolved. The other two eevees were more calculated about what they really wanted to be, and after a couple months of more eevee randomness, one evolved into a vaporeon! This was when the trainer decided to instead of taking only 2 or 3 of them on walks at a time, to bring all of them in one go. ...This was a mistake. Two other trainers mistook it for a pokemon battle request, Asher almost burned a couple hedges down by accident, the vaporeon (rainer. yes I used the pokemon go name even though he canonically used a water stone. I'm lazy okay I'm bad at names) snuck into someone's pool and turned into water (took half an hour to get him out. somehow didn't get fined.), Oliver caused all sorts of telekenetic chaos, (tried to lift multiple of the eeveelutions as a prank, he does this often. Except usually it's not more than one, or outside. He missed and accidentally terrorised multiple pokemon and children.)

After all that, it was decided to NEVER EVER EVER bring out all the eeveelutions at once unless it was absolutely necessary.

Anyway! You know the gist, more eevees were caught. So home situation: Akito (sylveon), Ace (glaceon), Oliver (espeon), Levi (umbreon), Asher (Flareon), Rainer (vaporeon), Linen (Leafeon) and Tunner (eevee). So all the eeveelutions and eevee, with the exception of Jolteon.

Anyway I'm too lazy to type out the actual plot so I'll reblog this with more later

[wheeboo]

new ask from : dizzy anon ! xe says...

good evening, america. i,, have come with not a fictional story but something very much real! (also, i love your reviews sm. i actually am writing the first 'episode' of the compilation stories! but not patience and grace yet. i like to finish something for the most part even if i'll release it in parts, so it'll be a while,,, i can tag you in it in the future hehe ^^)

do you get that feeling when you feel really smart when you get something? i don't know about you, but i seriously love it- like i figured out equations for shit like voltage, current, and resistance in my robotics exam (that i didn't study for and didn't take the first time). even with a calculator, it was noon and i was exhausted beyond belief, like- ?????? HOW the fuck did i do that.

feeling smart is everything to me, even tho i'm a silly little dude who likes to partake in silly little activities. this is why i like making my lore make sense by working on every nook and cranny, it makes me feel intelligent /j as if di ako bobo (affectionate) LMFAOOOO

another thing btw, nag-choir kami ng gregorian chant para sa music, at tangina napasigaw lahat ng mga boys nung natapos HAHAHAHA 😭😭 ako din naman. like sumakit paa ako amputa, napa-omsim sa inisip na 'deserve ko kumain'. imagine dalawang PT exam tas nag dalawang written kasi nag-absent buong week last week. then i had like six or five exams the day before 💪💪

hopefully your week's been good!! in my timezone, we're abt to head into the weekend and i hope to finish a powerpoint before 12am ^^ reemmber to drink water and/or treat yrself in any way.

; 💫

FKSLJFSD im glad u love my review lovely <33 just know i'm always willing to share my input on anything!! and omg i'd love to be tagged pls tag me !!

bro OMG ALL THE TIME. me in my college math class fr right now i literally feel like a fuckin einstein whenever a problem finally *gets* to my head. but im glad u were able to figure out ur stuff ur absolutely slaying fr bestie!! u deserve it sm <3

mahabang rehearsal ba ito? sobrang maingay ng mga boys 😭😭 anong kumain mo afterwards? i ask because i'm eating pancit rn sobrang sakit ng ulo ko djflkdsjf </3 but i hope u were able to eat something delicious n treat yourself!! those exams sounded so stressful omg but just be proud u were able to endure it and get it done !!

my weekend has been fun so far :) ako ng oras kasama ang mga kaibigan kagabi and went sa isang haunted house SJLKFSD. hope u were able to get ppt down before 12am!! and don't forget to also stay hydrated and treat urself as well <3

[koscheicore]

*appears*

(imagine that one random time-lord in The Autons, floating mid-air)

Greetings once again,

Some more questions for you, because THOSCHEI, THOSCHEI, THOSCH-…..

Prepare yourself for a barrage of questions! (No pressure ofc)

Commencing in three, two, one..

*explosion*

1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 9, 11, 12, 17

21 - Headcanons for your favourite ainley pairing

24 – gimme more info about the thoschei fan incarnations that occasionally pop up on your feeds. It is vital information!!!

*looks around at the impact caused by the questions*

Whoops

Have a good day/week! :)

*disappears*

SO IT WAS YOU ALL ALONG, THAT TIMELORD... That makes sense! Thank you so much for all the quest- (loud explosion) AAAAH!

(sooo prepare for a very long post 🤣)

1. How did you get into thoschei?

(gets out from under the table) Uhhh has the noise stopped? Yea. Okay. So it all started when I heard a rhythm of four beats?? And then I think my brain got infected. All I could think about is some sad pathetic aliens hugging each other and I guess one was dead and??? then he wasn't? Yeah so I saw tensimm and I got obsessed. That was, if my calculations are correct, about 8 years ago.

2. What is your favourite thoschei flavour?

At the moment it's fiveainley! Or sevencrispy...

3. What is, in your opinion, the most toxic thoschei dynamic?

Why did I even make this question. All of them there's no salvaging the toxicity. Uhh imma go with tensimm or spydoc though

5. Any fan content recommendations?

Honestly THBU it's just. Sublime. Okay so I might have been about to cry just one chapter in? Yeah??

Also Please Attend Carefully if you want podcasts abt the Master because who doesn't.

Now, that's all sfw but on the spicy smut side, here's a fiveainley fic that plays with hypnosis. I found it interesting how the author wrote it in first person, and their Ainley voice is just fantastic. Make sure to read the tags first though!

Do also check the ppl I reblog from's profiles some of them have AO3 accts I plan on munching on when I can!

8. Favourite thoschei story?

Honestly the Master audio atm. Or the Five Doctors cuz it's really funny to see Ainley TRY... just really try... Btw 1st Doctor x Ainley!Master when

Ngl I have to rewatch all the nuwho episodes w the master on it so my thoughts might change. These two stories are consuming my brain rn

9. Favourite thing they have said canonically to each other?

"Wonder what I'd be without you"

"Yeah."

And this

11. Song that reminds me of them?

I want to make an animatic with this so badly

12. Any thoschei headcanons?

My most heartfelt headcanon for them is this if it even counts as one 🤔

17. What's an underrated thoschei pairing?

SIXAINLEY FFS SIXAINLEY IS SO UNDERRATED. More of them pls...

21. Headcanons for your favourite Ainley pairing

No I'm not picking just one >:0

Fiveainley:

-In my head the Master contacted Fivey after the whole cheetah stuff in hopes he could help him. Not talking abt how good or bad that went but Fivey can't remember anyways.

-The Master loves the smell of Fivey's sweaters. Anytime he's entered his TARDIS he's stolen a few. Fivey still doesn't know where they went.

-Oh it's definitely Ainley!Master's fault the Doctor's regenerations became weirder. Yeah after what he did to Fivey he just messed them up. Like Fivey's legs. Hey, if the Master is having trouble being in a Trakenite body it's only fair, right?

Sixainley:

-The most likely pair to do spicy stuff actually. They're both into BDSM although probably not in a sexual context exactly. No I won't elaborate

-The cat pin? Yeah that's something the cheetah Master left in the TARDIS during that Fivey visit. Six just doesn't know. The Master finds it amusing.

-The Rani has tried to block all contact with the Master because he keeps calling her to talk about his latest plan to kill the Doctor. She's so tired.

Oneainley:

-The Master actually visited 1 on a few occasions during the Doctor's past after the events of the Five Doctors, wearing disguises of course so he wouldn't recognise him later.

-He invited him to lunch and they conversed. The Master finds this Doctor kind of endearing in a way, he's the closest he has to things being alright between them anyways. Just some quiet conversations, no mention of the Master or Gallifrey. No murder intent, they just were. Two "strangers" sharing lunch having candid intellectual conversations.

-Eventually, he stopped. Why? I leave that to your imagination.

24. Talk abt your fan Doctor and Master incarnations

OKOK IM GLAD YOU ASKED... So I met this classmate who's a dw fan and as we became friends he told me he had his own fan Doctor incarnation. Eventually we started LARPing for fun and I made my own Master, then we started making up tons of stories and that's how they came to be!

ONE DAY HOWEVER... He said. What if the Master and the Doctor were bigenerated?? Yeah from the same entity but the Time Lords erased their memories. And Dhawan!Master knew this but that one bit he never told, the Doctor never uncovered it, and this is part of why Dhawan wanted to become the Doctor. And boy this broke my heart because thE IMPLICATIONS. That'd mean the Master is ALSO the Timeless Child. So now that's canon for my Master and surprise, it's been selfcest all this time except not exactly because they are not the same anymore and they can never be.

So based off that, my Master loves to make a point on how different they are whilst his Doctor searches for similarities instead when he learns this. My Master is convinced that they're destined to be the worst parts of the Doctor forever, whilst the Doctor got "the better part". So why would they make it easy for him? Gallifrey is gone anyways so let's prove they can never be the same. Let's prove they're DONE. And they're immortal too I guess so why conform with having nothing no. They're owed the Universe and they're not sharing. Meanwhile the Doctor is wondering what would be of the Master if they had lived anything similar than what they did, if they're actually the same, if there's any kindness left on them, if they could have become the Master... He's stuck on his past in a way, too, missing companions and simpler times and stuff. And I intend to destroy his hopes of truly enjoying his current self you know?

...so yeah uh we also have companions we're making and we're slowly developing all of this + some random "episodes" (plots. that is) and one of them is Dak. Dak is well, kind of a Dalek kind of not. I have no idea how this happened he hasn't told me yet but apparently Dak has the genes of one of his companions? His mind when he was a child. So he's like a curious kid travelling with the Doctor except he's got Dalek Issues (tm) and I have such awful plans for him I'm so sorry little Dak ily but Daleks can never be good you know ☺️☺️ And I also have my subconscious eating beings that hate the Master for reasons but shhh. My friend doesn't know yet.

Anyways here's my Master treating the Doctor with love as usual

-----

Hey... hey. Wait. Don't go! *looks around* Uh... who will help me pay for all the repairs??? 😭

ALSO thank you so much for that twogado recommendation I will proceed to scream

[miraakulous-cloud-district]

Thank you so much for the tag @sheirukitriesfandom @notoriousbastardlover I struggled a lot with which character should I do this for, but decided to do it with Max, because @notoriousbastardlover you did it with your trevelyan as well (who is very cool btw)

Here's my boy, made with this picrew!

Seasoning: can't help myself, I have to say ginger 🤣

Weather: sunny, like a warm spring afternoon!

Colour: green

Sky: a gentle sunset

Magic Power: his puppy dog eyes could soften up even an archdemon

House Plant: I see him as a sort of cacti, because he's been through a lot and he's still standing. Blooming, even.

Weapon: bow and arrow

Subject: physics (because of how calculated his arrow shots are?? IDK)

Social Media: pinterest

Make-up Product: chapstick. His lips are dry af

Candy: cookies (yes, because he and Sera make cookies together🥺)

Fear: he's always afraid of being annoying or being a burden to everyone

Ice Cube Shape: little hearts!

Method of long-distance travel: the horses from the Inquisition

Art style: baroque! I imagine he has a fancy portrait and several with his shitty family back in Ostwick

Celestial Body: the sun

Mythological Creature: angel

Piece of stationery: do wax seal stamps count?

Thank you so much for this, it was so fun! Tagging @bougainvillea-and-saltwater @kiir-do-faal-rahhe @thelavenderelf @shitty-drawer only if you want to do this, of course! 💖

Also, I made my Oblivion oc, Sheadonna with this picrew and her design slaps, so I'm just gonna leave this here (before and after becoming Sheogorath!) She is not as detailed as Max or Ravvy yet, so that's why I didn't do the associations with her.

As soon as I saw the rat, I knew I had to make her!

[alazystranger]

I was tagged by @stygianheart for this 15 questions and 15 mutual thing and I can’t remember last time I did this lol. But this actually looks fun so let’s gooo(realized we have quite a few similarities while doing this btw)

1. Are you named after anyone?

Nope.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I think it’s been a month? I’m levelling up on the bottling-up-your-emotions thing lmao.

3. Do you have kids?

Nada nope and never want them either. It’s like one of those things you just know isn’t for you. 

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Yep yep an awful lot. 

5. What sports do you play/have played?

I *used* to play badminton but it’s been a while now.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

This sure made me think lol. But I do notice their hair. Idk why. And I try to get a read on their expression first. 

7. What’s your eye color?

Brown.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Both really! While scary movies are usually good at distracting me(and sometimes they are even funny) the occasional happy ending movie does help me feel light for a while.

9. Any special talents?

Don’t know if these will really count but uh I can speak more 3 languages decently well. Fast reader, knower of a lot of weird random facts. Fairly fast at calculations. And a bit of a writer. Also, usually able to guess the ending/upcoming plot twist in whatever I’m watching.

10. Where were you born?

I’m gonna keep this one a mystery. hehe. 

11. What are your hobbies?

READING I love reading. Binge-watching, writing. Researching about random bizarre stuff and taking random quizzes. Listening to music(I used to play the guitar damn I miss that). Rarely, I try sketching. 

12. Do you have any pets?

None sadly :(

13. How tall are you?

Short enough for people to joke about(about the same as you really).

14. Favorite subject in school?

English too. I used to be that kid in class who held the highest score for it. I liked math too though. Had fun even.

15. Dream Job?

Nobody believes this but the very first thing I remember wanting to become was a hacker. I don’t even remember how that came to be.  Then I started enjoying writing and ig I can call myself a small writer? But yeah, I always wanted to be do something where I get to travel a lot.

As for 15 mutuals...I haven’t gotten that acquainted with much people here so not tagging anyone for now! A post done just for @stygianheart . I did enjoy doing it though!

[cousticks]

not a headcanon but i'd love to know the reasoning behind your specific character tags! things like 'white hill road' and 'ashes to the coast' sound so interesting and i'd love to pick your brain on how they relate to dazai and chuuya specifically. they give me the vibes of song lyrics or maybe poetry but that's just my baseless speculation lol

ohoho you are right, they are song lyrics! if you notice, the rest of my character tags are 'placeholder' for now - i'd like to slowly replace all of my tags with lyric tags, but i'm waiting for just the right songs to come along.

dazai and chuuya's are dear to me because they're both by the same band, it felt right to make their song lyrics connected.

chuuya's is Ashes, Ashes by Deaf Havana, specifically for the bridge and chorus more than the verses themselves.

And if we drive away to the place I love the most When my lungs collapse and my heart turns black I'll give my ashes to the coast

I think about this part in relation to Chuuya a lot because the When my lungs collapse and my heart turns black, I think of using corruption to destroy himself for the sake of the city, hence giving his ashes to the coast, referencing the portside specifically. It just speaks to his commitment to the city and how far he'll give himself up for what he cares for.

Dazai's is Speeding Cars by Deaf Havana.

I... the entire song's lyrics feel very Dazai to me, so I'll just pick out a few highlights from across the song.

One day I get so lost inside my head I'm only 22 but I'm going on dead Do I put my faith in my grandmothers God Or piece by piece just lose all I've got ? Yeah, piece by piece just lose all I've got Its been a bad few weeks But I'm still hoping I, can get back on my feet I just need a little time

come on. Piece by piece just lose all I've got? followed a little later by I'm still hoping I can get back on my feet // I just need a little time? It says loss leading to leaving the mafia and his struggle towards the light, to me.

I stain these walls with the blood from my hands And I don't sleep since I got home I fear the night will take me for all that I own Because I view my life through a telescope That I built from a bottle and a slippery slope

View my life through a telescope he is always observing and distancing himself and calculating!!! Come on!!!!!! Also do I even need to talk about I stain these walls with the blood from my hands that one's obvious right. Right?

An answer in these darkened city bars In the backrooms where we loose our hope The drinks that turn good men to ghosts In the end we're all left wondering who we are

sorry i've run out of intelligent thought i'm just punching the wall mentally now. sorry this song is just really really dazai to me. sorry. I wish this was more coherent but i just want to point at the lyrics and jump up and down.

So yeah anon, they are song lyrics!!!! I also have lyric tags for Verlaine, The Sheep, Chuuya & The Flags, Beast Dazai, and Beast Chuuya. And hopefully more to come, as I find the right songs for everyone <3

(btw everyone should talk to me about songs they associate with characters all the time, I love it. I don't take suggestions for the tags though bc those are very personal to me <3)

[lettuce-seize-the-day]

had a gift card so i ordered pizza. this means i don't have an eating disorder

[leonsi]

Also, just wanted to say something about this post:

Which I can't link, because I went anon, but like, it is this post that I am just going to copy and paste, so you know what I am talking about:

"i can’t decide if leo as a villain would be cooler if he were:

'calculating and always one step ahead

'brutal and jaded, only interested in his own goals and giving up on morals

'completely unhinged after a lifetime of being perfect"

(and I ofc I also liked the tags on that/this post too)!

And like, yes, I love all those takes on a potential Dark and/or Villain Leo.  I think Option 3 may be my favorite (I am just imaging a completely unhinged 2012 Leo and/or Leo and I am loving it), but, I love all of them. 

Like, imagine, Option 1 and 2 combined or 1 and 3 or 2 and 3.  Or a combo of all three.  Man, that would be awesome.  Man though, I wish I knew some good Dark 2012 (mentioning 2012 Leo first here and/or a lot, because he is my favorite and love him, though I also like the other Leos.  Like Rise Leo (a lot) and Comic Leo, like IDW Leo).  Leo and/or Rise and/or Leo in general fics, because I do know some (including some good Foot ones, though I still wish I could find more, esp. completed and/or recently updated), but I could always know more.

Also, also, I loved the tags of that post I linked too!  Good tags.

I also really liked this post, which I am going to quote part of, because I can't link (I am sorry):

"i think the reason i immediately distrust people who diss on 2012 Leo for the times he lashes out is that it shows they don’t have an in-depth understanding of trauma, or at the very least, character analysis and nuance."

I thought this was a really good post and analysis on 2012 Leo's character.  It was cool/interesting!

Anyways, bye for now, I am hoping these long asks goes through, if not I am saving it/them just in case.  Sorry for going anon too btw; I just got a bit shy-ish. 

Continuing where that last long Anon Ask of mine left off with this one.  Asks 2 of 2.

LMAO option 3 is definitely my favorite too - there's something just So nifty about someone who's normally so poised and famed for being in control losing all of that stiffness and becoming deranged. it's funner to imagine the horror everyone else feels when they finally realize how far they've pushed him :)

and dw you're in good company, 2012 leo is Absolutely my poor little meow meow (if you couldn't tell). *puts him in a jar and shakes it violently*

i'm so sorry anon, i WISH i could rec you some good dark!leo fics, but aside from Foot AUs, i'm in a bit of a drought myself. i know @this-world-of-beautiful-monsters (This_world_of_beautiful_monsters on ao3) writes a lot of amazing ambiguous/morally gray 2012 and IDW Leo, especially in her ABC TMNT / other prompt collections, but i'm not sure if that's the villain you want :(

and yoo thank you so much for liking my silly little 2012 leo rant! it's a bit of an emotional mess (esp bc tumblr messed up the formating and i only realized AFTER people started rbing it sigh), but. hey. at least someone enjoys it? LDJFK thank u !

dude don't be sorry for going on anon or not being able to link !! i like any interaction at all!!! and tbh w u i still send asks on anon to mutuals i talk to outside of tumblr. i totally get it :]]

[rpd-rookie]

The One Who Runs Away, The One Who Runs Back (Leon S. Kennedy x Reader)

Author’s note: This is a sequel to “A PAST WITH HER, A FUTURE WITH YOU” and the end of my three-parts fan fiction "I TRUSTED YOU WITH MY HEART" I decided to write after so many of you asked for it. Sorry it took so long but I was navigating from one fandom to another. (BTW, if there are any Devil May Cry fans up here, you can read my DMC fan fictions here) PS: Even if I said it before, I have no hate whatsoever towards Ada or Aeon.

Tagged: Angst, Fluff, Romance, Post-Break up, Sexual Content 

Part 1 / Part 2

***

Do you remember? We started this story by quoting some sitcom character that was clueless about love. Well, here’s a suggestion. Why not ending it by quoting someone who knew a little more on such matter.

William Shakespeare - you know that English dude expert on tragic ‘drink this poison, stab yourself’ kind of love - apparently once said ‘Love runs away from those chasing her, and those who run away, she throws herself on his neck’. I say ‘apparently’ cause, even though I have a master in English lit, this quote is from the internet, and also … who knows what the guy truly said?

But it’s the quote that’s important. Not the author. The quote it’s important because it sums up perfectly how this story is gonna end. However, before starting, let me tell you this quote is going to be the only Shakespeare-worthy sentence in this final chapter. You’ve been warned.

Love runs away from those chasing her.          Well, this part was definitely written for someone like Ada Wong. Owner of countless gold medals and possibly a world record at this point, that woman is basically the Usain Bolt of the ‘Running from Leon S. Kennedy’ competition. Unchallenged winner since the creation of this sultry version of cat and mouse game, it’s better not to think about the number of times she successfully ran away from her favourite agent.  But this year, this formidable titleholder in a gorgeous red dress will have to face her Nemesis in the championship. You. Though the comparison to the hideous bio-organic killing machine might not be very complimentary to you but you get the idea.  This year you enter the Kennedy Olympics. And this year you run like Sonic the Hedgehog and you win the damn competition (screw you Usain Bold!). And you do this with your head high and without an ounce of regret. Ignore all the texts and flowers Leon might send on your track Mario Kart style. His gifts are not as slippery as banana peels and they can easily be dodged, I promise. Well, most of the time, when you’re not lying on your bed in the middle of the night crying and sobbing while reading his messages or playing his voice in your voicemail again and again until you’re nothing more but a giant mess with puffy red eyes drowning in a puddle of your own tears.        Screw those messages too! And screw his broken yet terribly sexy voice as well!

Being a man of word, Leon kept his promise. And for months you kept on running peacefully, marathoning away from this past relationship that had destroyed you like no other before while tranquilly fixing your broken heart on the way. That run was a good cardio.

But sometimes, cardio is not enough, and even just the small sight of an overpriced whisky bottle or the smell of Leon’s perfume on some guy’s clothes is enough to reopen your wounds.           And when it happens, you always do the same thing, you break the damn bottle - and run cause damn! it’s expensive! -  or you tell the guy his perfume smells like cheap cologne and that he should definitely change it, which is an improvement on your past destructive behaviour, since there was a time shortly after the break up when you would have simply dragged the guy to your place to let him fuck you senseless while imagining he was Leon. All that just for the illusion to feel him again and for the sake to kick him out the next morning, screaming like a hysterical psycho.

So imagine, for a small second, the wave of intense feelings surging out of your healing heart when, in the middle of a cafe, you hear some dude sitting behind you ordering Leon’s favourite whisky while wearing the same bloody perfume. “It’s got to be relentless persecution at that point!” You sigh, already annoyed, closing your book more violently than intended. Hope you’re ready, stranger! Because you’re not in the mood to deal with this right now.            You turn around with a fake smile that reflects perfectly your irritation, ready to give him hell, your sharpest riposte already burning your tongue. After all, he deserves it and you can’t help it.         But when you meet familiar – and freaking gorgeous - baby blue eyes you freeze and stare, suddenly confused and lost and refusing to believe that in spite of the intense running, love just jumped at your neck after all and it was sitting there, taking the shape of Leon S(tupid) Kennedy.

You should have stood up and left, run for your life, run for your heart. And yet, you didn’t.    You stayed there staring at him looking at you, allowing all your memories, the good ones and the bad ones, all your buried feelings to come back from the dead, embracing them as if you had missed them, which, let’s be honest, you probably had.            You tried to scream to yourself “Come on, Y/N! Shake a leg!” but it seemed that what you brain understood was something like “Cum on him! Open your legs!” as a couple of blurry hours later, you were on Leon’s bed, legs wide open, screaming his name and begging him not to stop his amazing thrusts.

Six months, you ran for six months … Well, looks like the run ends here and now. After a minute-long deep stare, an afternoon of amazing sex and two hours long of something blurry in between.

“I missed you.” And there you were! The moment all couples that broke up have after one of them (in this case Leon with the infamous ‘I missed you line’) starts to believe they miraculously rekindled their love. The fatal post-coital cuddling session that you don’t know how to react to, as you think of all the possibilities before you.      Possibility Number 1) You tell Leon you missed him too and cuddle, enjoying that embrace you secretly yearned for months. But that includes forgetting what he has done or pretending that nothing happened.     Possibility Number 2) You push him away, get dressed, leave again and act as if this afternoon never happened. But if Leon doesn’t remind you of it, the ache between your legs will, that’s for sure!   Possibility Number 3) You jump him again until you sore even more and hope that you’ll be able to leave afterwards.         Frankly, all possibilities suck because, in all cases, it seems like you lose. Since,       with Possibility Number 1) you lose the run forever, with Possibility Number 2) you lose him again and with Possibility Number 3) well it’s result 1 or 2 + your body aching like crazy for days. I suck at math but no need to be Einstein to know the result of this calculation looks unpleasant.    So what do you choose?

You see a triangular dice rolling in your head, showing a never-ending succession of 1, 2 and 3 that doesn’t make any sense and that confuse you even more than you already are. 1, 2, 3, 2, 1, 3, 2 ! Oh for fuck’s sake!

You grimace, angry and pissed at Leon and probably even more at yourself, and finally leaves his bed and his strong warm arms, feeling the tears furiously forming in your eyes. “I can’t” You can’t look at him in the eyes. You don’t want to see his confusion, don’t want to see his pain as he witnesses all his hopes shatter to pieces.         “ What do you mean?” You can hear the sheets crease behind you, alerting you of Leon’s agitation, so you hurry and pick up all your clothes scattered in his room. You must leave, now. 2! 2 it is!  “This! All This! This afternoon never happened.” You tell him, putting on your clothes with sudden clumsy and trembling hands, not caring if your bra is correctly hooked or if you put your shirt on back to front. Your heart. You have to think of your poor heart first.          “Hey, hey, hey.” You feel Leon’s hand softly grabbing your arms and you let go of whatever you were holding right now. His voice is sweet and trying to be comforting. Don’t look at him Y/N! Don’t look at him! “Look at me.” You do. Damn it! And you see his gorgeous blue eyes staring at you, studying your flustered face and the tears slowly drowning your (colour) look. You missed those eyes. You missed them so.damn.much ! As much as you missed his hands cupping your face and his thumbs wiping up your tears. God! How many tears those thumbs have missed recently. “It’s alright.”

You want to believe him. You really do. But there is this voice screaming in your head and very clearly this time. A voice shouting, forcing you to remember that night, that awful nightmarish night, the one when you felt your heart break and your dreams turn to ashes. All that because of him and his obsession for her.

“No, it’s not alright, Leon.” You shake your head and miraculously manage to take a small step back. You never thought you could. But you had to. You can’t stay close to him. You can’t let him touch you, feel you. Not if you want to run away. And you have to run away. Like her! Like Ada. Ada! “I told you. For as long as you have feelings for Ada, I can’t … we can’t…”     “Please don’t talk about her.” He begs and rubs his hand over his face. Is he trying to chase her away from his mind? Is she still in here? Please, let her not be in here.    “But she’s the reason we’re in this situation now. She’s the reason why we’re in this mess.” You insist only for the sake to see his reaction when you mention Ada, to see if she’s still under his skin, somewhere. “Ada is not the reason. I am!” Leon corrects you, a finger directed at his heavy chest as he is putting the full blame on himself for the first time since that night. “I am the one who went after Ada when I shouldn’t have! I am the reason why we broke up! I am the reason why we are so miserable!”         “But I was fine!” You shouted back in an attempt to show him he was wrong refusing to listen to that part of you who knew he was completely right. You were miserable without him. “I was doing fine until you came back and fucked everything up! I was healing goddamnit!”             You felt new tears rolling along your red cheeks and quickly wipe them off with the back of your hand that felt so callous and rough in comparison to Leon’s gentle touch. “You can’t just jump back into my life like this and expect me to forget!”

Leon nods, agreeing with you in a certain way. But the truth is, he doesn’t want you to forget. He doesn’t expect you to erase his mistake. He just wants you to forgive him … No, he just wants you to come back to him. Period. And that’s got to be what you want to. It has to!   “So why did you have sex with me, huh?” He finally asks even though he already knows your answer. “Tell me!” You’re not the kind of person who has meaningless sex, not the kind of person who worships one’s body with divine kisses and devoted caresses if they mean nothing. “Why did you have sex with me?” And yet the answer he wishes to hear doesn’t come out. “For fuck’s sake Y/N! Answer me! Why?” He shouts making you shiver and cry even more.    “Because I LOVE YOU!” You finally scream. And it hurts. It hurts but it feels good too. Like a weight lifted off your chest. “Because I missed you too! Because those months without you have been terrible! Because I don’t know how to handle even just the thought of you or the sound of your voice in my voicemail. Because each time I see something that makes me think of you, I’m a mess and I do things that normal me would never do! You fucked me up, Leon! You fucked me up but I love you! And I hate to love you!” You grunt in pain and relief, enraged but happy that you finally let everything out. And Leon listens in silence, frozen by your powerful honest confession. But he doesn’t know how to react. He doesn’t know what to say. Part of him is overjoyed, ecstatic that you still love him but there is another part that just feels terrible, sorry for the pain your love for him caused you even in his absence.   “But you see—“ You continue “That’s the problem in our relationship, Leon! I love you in ways that are so intense, that go beyond sanity. And you love me by half.”    You see him crumple, his horrified face looking suddenly very pale as if he had just heard some dreadful news. Is that really how you feel? Is that how you see his love for you? Is that what he has made you believe?         “Goodbye Leon.”

With the full intention to leave Leon’s place for good and never come back, you grab you bag on your way out of the bedroom while carelessly shoving your underwear inside of it since you forgot to put them on in the midst of panic and precipitation. Get out of here, Y/N! Now! A reasonable voice encourages you. Listen to me!    But this not what Leon wants.

“I never loved you by half.” He declares and you abruptly stop, asking God if he’s some kind of sadist that loves seeing you in pain from the comfort of his divine sofa somewhere in heaven. “Never.” But it’s not God and his sadism that makes you turn around. It’s you, and your masochist love for that blue-eyed man before you.     “I don’t believe you” Your voice almost doesn’t leave your throat as you try not to sob.           “But it’s the truth.” He says with a calm soothing voice as he slowly approaches you. “I never imagined my future with Ada. I never wished to grow old with her or build a home with her.” You want to tell Leon to stop talking, to stay where he is but your body doesn’t seem to respond. And when you feel him grabbing your hands in his and the comforting warmth that goes with that simple touch, you know that leaving is now an almost impossible task. “Yes. I admit it. My feelings for her were real.” Even when his honesty hurts you, you don’t know how to leave anymore. “But they were nothing in comparison to what I feel for you.”     You try to let go, pulling your hands away from his loving grip but he holds you back. And you’re not strong enough. Or maybe, you just don’t want to be strong. Everything is so confusing. Everything is tearing you apart.     “But they’re still here, aren’t they?” You question, hoping his answer might give you a clue, might give you the strength to make the correct decision. Do you leave? Or do you stay? “And they’ll keep coming back each she goes back into your life. You can’t let go of her.”    “You’re maybe right.” His words hurt you more than you thought they would. They hurt like hell because you realise there are not the ones you wanted to hear. You wanted to hear him say that he would let go of Ada, for good, for you. You wanted to hear that because deep down … YOU WANTED TO FUCKING STAY! “But can you let go of your past?” He continues and you shake your head refusing to hear any other word coming out of Leon’s mouth.       “Don’t!” You beg, weary.           “No! Listen to me this time. Ada is my past, Y/N. She’s my past. And you … you’re my future. You’re my life, damn it!” He doesn’t cry but you don’t need his tears to sense how emotional and how honest he is. And suddenly, you just want to listen to him. “And I was a fool not to see it sooner. When you left me, I felt a void I had never felt in my entire life. I felt like a part of me was missing. And then, the bombing in Washington happened, and it was like I had nothing left. I needed you. I wanted you. You. Not Ada.”      “Leon” You whisper and he cups your face again, blue eyes staring deep into yours, allowing you to see everything in him, his strong love for you and all the weaknesses he hated to admit. “It was you in my mind. Only you. And it will always be you. Because I love you. Now. Today. And I will always love you.”

You cry even more, uncertain if those tears are tears of sorrow, tears of joy or a mix of both. God, how can your emotions be such a mess right now? How can you be wishing to shout at him with all the anger you’ve accumulated and, at the same time, willing to kiss him with all love you’ve got?

“If you got to believe something. Believe that. And if that’s not enough and you think you can be happy with someone else. Then go. I won’t hold you back.” You frown. He is fucking lying. You’re sure of it. “You can’t stop running after me and you know it.” He smiles and scoffs, sensing that hint of sudden defiance in your tone he enjoys a lot.  “True. I can’t sop running after you. But I’ll do my best not to catch you if that’s what you want. But you got to tell me. Is that what you truly want?” You don’t reply. Truth is, you’re not sure what to say not because you’re not sure that’s what you want but because you’re not sure you can trust him if you let him in again.                        “No.” You whisper. “No, that’s not what I want. I want you. All of you.” You can see Leon struggle to contain his growing joy as it starts to glimmer brighter and brighter in his irises. He doesn’t want to cry victory just yet. He is cautious and rightfully so. “But can I?”        “Want me?” He smiles. “ Have you completely?” You correct, searching for a promise in his eyes, one you hope, you wish he would not break this time.     “Trust me with your heart again and find out.”

This better not hurt this time…

[lilbit-of-kizzy]

I posted 9,408 times in 2022

300 posts created (3%)

9,108 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@starry--skies

@cosmiccarrotcake

@mexicanesecat

@thepoolofthedead

@bunjywunjy

I tagged 3,054 of my posts in 2022

#iswm spoilers - 49 posts

#🤣 - 39 posts

#🤣🤣 - 38 posts

#yeah - 33 posts

#youtube - 30 posts

#markiplier - 27 posts

#lolol - 27 posts

#lmao - 26 posts

#pokemon - 24 posts

#like - 21 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#btw i’m aware that all of these are just mark in other universes and would also probably just be called mark too lol this was just for fun~

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Just like the chair!

110 notes - Posted September 6, 2022

#4

God Irida is such a mood 😂

151 notes - Posted February 6, 2022

#3

Eric: Have you heard Ariel sing? *dreamy sigh* also my favorite things for today are: Potato, Mashed potatoes, and a stick! *plays flute*

Me:....yeah you're still my favorite

259 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

#2

Anyone wanna tell me, why Disney thought it was ok to go The Edge of Sleep levels of dark???

Spoilers below the cut

Minnie spent how long, wandering a colorless, sightless, soundless, empty landscape??? Telling herself over and over again "I have to find Mickey!" until that's literally all she remembered????? Not her name, her very being, or even who Mickey actually was, just literally only the words "I have to find Mickey"

Disney wtf

283 notes - Posted September 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Hey YouTube did a stupid!!

Y'all know Ann Reardon? The woman who does all those fantastic debunking videos?

Well she posted a video on the extreme dangers of fractal wood burning (don't effing do it) annnnd YouTube, in their infinite wisdom, took down the video because it "promoted dangerous actions"......hello????

Did they take down other fractal wood burning videos? Nope! Did they wait until she was #3 on the search for it, and had many many comments about how she just saved someone's life or thanking her because the commenter knew someone who had died? Yep!!

So if you wouldn't mind helping to raise this video up the ranks, she explains what happened and how much good the other video did, before basically telling YouTube to suck it (and risking a channel strike) by reinserting the footage telling why that type of wood burning is so dangerous.

I'd post the video in this post, but I'm not sure how views are calculated when watched through Tumblr. And algorithmically it's better if you also could like and comment on the vid (I know it's ridiculous but hey it helps stick it to YouTube's insanity)

Here's the link again!! It's also just really informative and deserves a watch!

Edit: The video is back up!!! Great job everyone 😄😄

Edit the 2nd: I can turn off reblogs on a post that already has reblogs o.O that....will probably be happening tomorrow!! I adore the fact that this blew up because it definitely needed to but my brain and notes are suffering 😅

13,929 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

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