#i was unemployed and cranking them out. as i am now

[kil9]

ive done almost 300 drawings this year if i drew every day for the rest of the year id be able to have average one drawing per day...

[contentment-of-cats]

Understanding the narcissist's war dance

Humans are social animals, and we socialize happily for the most part. Narcissists are predatory humans who view other humans either as prey or competition, sometimes both, For instance, in 2009 my then-employer went under and I needed some gigs to keep things afloat until I could find another job. I picked up a writing gig, which leg to other gigs, and I am still writing to this day.

In the shock of becoming unemployed after 12 years, I made a horrible mistake. I told my mother who saw this not as a chance to support and encourage her daughter, but a chance to get things her way.

Now, mind, I had worked for my mother - I created her website from scratch in 2006 (for free) and maintained it (for free) until she lost interest in something that wasn't giving her the adulation she wanted. It was a popular site, just not popular enough. Her vitriol against those in the same silo was considerable. She didn't want to be part of a community, she wanted to show up with a pedestal, stand on it, and be given her due. She was a shitty boss, and ultimately I told her to find someone else to handle it, as I was working full-time and wanted my time off to be just that.

She started one of many campaigns to get me to move in with her. It was waged in typical narc fashion. I'd be talking to her normally, and the next thing she'd be screaming, accusing, fake-crying. The next tactic was a barrage of emails and mailed letters. She'd have people call and email me for her, people I didn't even freaking KNOW.

All of this was what I came to call my mother's war dance. In nature, a stoat or other weasel will do a war dance to frighten and confuse it's prey. Say, a rabbit. It will do this:

Small, short, frequent attacks to wear down the prey.

And strange, crazy dances.

We social animals freeze in confusion and fear. This is not normal behavior. The narcissist is counting on this. Frozen animals are easy prey, and the ones that run or freeze will do nothing to help. It's a survival mechanism - as long as it's not you. Overcoming those deep ancient brain emotions is like an arm-wrestling match with yourself.

It's hard to get away from a narc, harder still to stay away. I resisted, found a new job, and kept up with the writing. Extra income was good, and I could crank it out. Well, she found out in 2012. I was doing something she had always prided herself on, been well-paid to do and facilitate. And she could not stand it. She demanded to know who I wrote for, she wanted to talk to them. I refused to say. When I came to visit, I caught her trying to crack my password on my laptop, and she unloaded on me - I walked out.

Narcissists want the prey to freeze. When you don't, when you push back, won't give them what they want, refuse to be a rabbit, refuse to run, then they will go to full attack. The people around you will run, hunker down, become flying monkeys, and fighting back is hard. They use people against you, and we social animals can give in. It's easier to become prey or run.

My technique:

So, think about the level of Cluster B that you can live with. Think about whether you need to run (no shame in that, Narcs can be terrifying). Think about how much of yourself you are willing to give up in order not to be torn to pieces, and then get ready to give up one piece at a time until all that's left is bones. Or hope that the narc will be satisfied after a few mouthfuls and let you limp away - bleeding, wounded, and living with the scars for the rest of your life.

Coming soon, more Narc 101.

[thank-you-for-the-vampire-money]

HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

link to the sing is HERE

A/N: a little pick-me-up before the weekend 

Sam Wilson x reader

Word count: 1590

Summary: For some reason, a mission was scheduled over Christmas, leaving you and Sam separated for the holidays

Warnings: lots of swearing

Oh, there's no place like home for the holidays

'Cause no matter how far away you roam

When you pine for the sunshine of a friendly gaze

For the holidays you can't beat home sweet home!

  Why did Fury have to do this to him?  Well, everyone on the mission was pissed, but especially Sam.  Who the hell PLANS a mission that extends over Christmas?  Instead of being cuddled up on the couch watching Christmas movies with his girl or thrift shopping for quirky white elephant gifts with his friends, Sam was stuck in the middle of northern Canada.

“Pass me another blanket?” Bucky shivered, trying to turn up the shifty motel’s crappy heater.  That poor machine was running the best it could and still the heat it was cranking out was barely enough to make the room above freezing temperature.

“There are only three blankets and you already have two of them,” Sam sassed, struggling to open the pack of Oreos he’d purchased at the gas station.  Damn things froze in the car!  They were solid as a rock! “And there’s no way in hell I’m giving mine up,”.

Steve rolled his eyes, opening the multiple cans of soup they bought and dumping them into a large bowl.  “Ladies, calm down! I don’t want to get kicked out of the only shelter we have right now because of your yelling,” he grumbled, covering the bowl with a paper towel and putting it in the grimy microwave.

 I met a man who lives in Tennessee, and he was headin' for

Pennsylvania and some homemade pumpkin pie

From Pennsylvania folks are travellin'

Down to Dixie's sunny shore

From Atlantic to Pacific

Gee the traffic is terrific!

  Steve handed everyone a mug of hot soup.  Unfortunately, they didn’t have spoons so they had to drink their soup like unemployed college students.  It was inconvenient, they weren’t about to complain about a hot meal.  “Eat up,” Steve hummed, sitting by his friends on the floor, which was, by far, much cleaner than the beds.

Sam grinned up at him, thanking him briefly.  “Here Cap, take this,” he said, giving Steve his blanket, “that suit isn’t enough to keep you warm,”.

“Aw, Sam, you don’t have to do that, you need it more than I do,” Steve said, pushing the quilt back into Sam’s clenched fist.

“Take it, I’ll be okay,” he insisted, “if winter boo bear over here won’t share, then I will,”.  He chuckled a bit, glaring over at Buck, who had bundled himself up like a little homeless lady.

“Hey!  Part of my body is fucking metal!  I’M COLD,” Bucky defended, wrapping himself up tighter into the blanket nest.

  “So Fury says we’ll be stuck here longer than he thought… we might not be back until the new year,” Steve sighed, knowing neither of his teammates would like it.

“What? C’mon, man, I promised (Y/N) I’d be back before then!” Sam groaned, “I’ve been gone since the beginning of the month!  She’s had to spend this whole holiday season alone,”.

“I know, Sam, I know…” Steve nodded, trying to keep him calm, “it’s less than ideal, we all have people at home we’d rather be with than out in… the arctic,”.

Sam just scowled at Steve, sick of him and Fury’s bullshit.  “Nah man, I ain’t taking this!  (Y/N) and I had this whole Christmas planned!” he ranted, nearly spilling his already cold soup, “instead of sneaking slices of rum cake when she’s not looking or hiding mistletoe around the apartment, I’m stuck here, with two other dudes, one of whom I’m pretty sure has fleas!”.

Bucky punched Sam’s arm with his metal one.  Damn, that vibranium really was cold!

 Oh, there's no place like home for the holidays

'Cause no matter how far away you roam

If you want to be happy in a million ways

For the holidays you can't beat home sweet home!

  Sam’s phone buzzed in his pocket, waking him up from his uncomfortable sleep.  He was still freezing his tail feathers off (that joke was not as funny as Bucky thought it was when he said it) but the heater seemed to be working better.  He groaned, cracking his stiff back before answering the facetime call. “Hello?” he groaned, yawning.

“Hi baby,” you greeted, smiling at him.

Sam immediately perked up at the sound of your voice.  He got up and jogged to the bathroom so he could turn on lights and talk to you in private.  “Hey sugar, how’s my girl doin’?” he smiled, eyes shining at you.

“Lonely without you,” you replied, “how’s Canada?”.

“Fucking freezing,” he scoffed, “and Barnes keeps hogging blankets,”.

“Oh, I know how you feel.  That’s what Wanda did on our last mission to Russia,” you hummed, getting more comfortable on the couch, “I heard Fury is pushing back the return date,”.

“Yeah….” he sighed, “it sucks, but I guess that’s what being an Avenger means; long work hours,”.

You grinned, laughing half-heartedly.  “I’m trying my best on my end to get you guys home,” you said, hoping that’d make him feel better.

“Eh, good luck with that, Fury's as stubborn as they come,” he sighed, “so what have you been up to? I hope you’re still having fun, despite all this,”.

“I am,” you nodded, getting up to show him the pumpkin spice cake you made, flipping the camera.  “I made a lot of goodies!  Chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter bars,” you listed, padding to the kitchen, “and a spice c- HEY!”.  You caught Wanda and Nat stealing treats.  You shooed them away as they slunk off like raccoons with their plates and mouths full.

Sam laughed at the scene the camera was capturing.  “I see the ladies have taken over for me while I’m away,” he chuckled, “there better be sweets for me when I get back!”

“Oh there will be,” you grinned, putting a lid over the cake to keep it safe, “and a few presents, and a clean bed, and a hot shower, and a big blanket that you don’t have to share,”.

“That sounds so good right now,” he sighed, closing his eyes, fantasizing about coming home, “damn I can’t wa-”

“SAM! SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Bucky groaned from his blanket cocoon by the heater, his voice muffled by the various noises in the hotel room, “THE BATHROOM ECHOES!”.

Sam rolled his eyes. “I’ll talk to you later baby, okay?” Sam whispered, catching the kiss you blew to him through the phone, “love you,”.

“Love you more,” you grinned, hanging up.

 I met a man who lives in Tennessee and he was headin' for

Pennsylvania and some homemade pumpkin pie

From Pennsylvania folks are travellin'

Down to Dixie's sunny shore

From Atlantic to Pacific

Gee the traffic is terrific!

  Sam plopped down into the car, very ready to fall asleep.  “Do we have to go back to the motel? I’m pretty sure sleeping in here would be more hygenic,” he sighed, taking off his goggles, the eyewear having left uncomfortable imprints on his skin.

Not that the car was too much better.  It was an old, rented van from a sketchy rental place.  Steve advocated for a smaller, but newer minivan, but Fury insisted that this would be less inconspicuous.  

“Actually, yes, We do have to go back,” Steve hummed proudly, “Fury said there were extra supplies dropped off for us,”.  

Bucky and Sam let out a tired ‘woo’.  “Does that include a space heater?” Buck asked, taking his boots off, “or better mattresses?”.

Steve smirked, feeling truly proud of himself.  “Well, my ‘nagging’ worked, and we’re now staying in Holiday Inn,” he answered, “clean beds, free breakfast, and functioning showers,”.

The other men let out a more enthusiastic ‘woo’ this time, somewhat surprised that Fury caved.  Normally he’d tell Steve to, “shut up and quit your bitching,”.

 Oh, there's no place like home for the holidays

'Cause no matter how far away you roam

If you want to be happy in a million ways

For the holidays you can't beat home sweet home!

For the holidays you can't beat home sweet home!

  The boys walked into the hotel, smiling as the heated air warmed up their cold bodies, the snow clinging to their uniforms melting away.  “Much better,” Bucky grinned, flopping face down onto the clean couch in the little sitting area. 

“Who wants dinner? There’s plenty here!” Steve cheered, opening the fully stocked fridge, “ooh, even spice cake!”.

Sam paused for a minute.  “Spice cake?” he thought to himself, “Steve I don’t think it was you who convinced Fury to send us here,”.

Steve raised a quizzical brow.  “Well it certainly wasn’t Buck,” he said, throwing an apple at the sleeping assassin’s head.

Peeking your head out of the closet, you surprised the boys by shouting, “MERRY FUCKIN’ CHRISTMAS!”.  Buck was so surprised he fell off the couch with a hardy, "oof,".

��(Y/N)?” Sam greeted, giving you a big hug and kiss, “you did all this?".  You nodded.  "How… how did you pull it off?  How did you convince Fury?”.

“I didn’t.  Natasha just took over the mission and I convinced her,” you grinned, snuggling into Sam’s side, “figured I’d pay a visit as well…”.

“But-” Sam stammered, confused, “why not stay home?  Or shorten the mission?”.

“As much as I hate to admit it, Fury is right, there is a lot of work to be done here,” you sighed, squeezing his hand, “and I am home.  I’m with you,”.

__________________

TAGLIST

[wazafam]

Jerry's eccentric neighbor and Seinfeld's moocher, Cosmo Kramer is a well-known character in sitcom history. Widely recognized for his harebrained schemes and physical comedy gags, he stole the show nearly every time he dashed into Jerry's apartment. However looking back, some classic Kramer moments on Seinfeld don't really hold up. In other words, the writers didn't do him justice and could have easily avoided tone-deaf writing in favor of a more coherent character.

RELATED: Seinfeld: 10 Times Kramer Was The Most Hated Character On The Show

Here are ten Cosmo Kramer quotes that are no longer politically correct and therefore seen as unacceptable today.

10 "Well, You're As Pretty As Any Of Them, You Just Need A Nose Job."

Early on in season three, George went out with a woman named Audrey who in the first place was way out of his league. But, because he was overly concerned with looks and had a superficial understanding of beauty, he couldn't get himself to stop thinking about her nose.

Later the same day at Jerry's, Kramer made an off-hand remark about Audrey needing a nose job and sugarcoated it with, "well, I was just trying to help out." Audrey was humiliated, Jerry and George were stunned and Elaine was the only one who rebuked Kramer for his offensive remark. Unsolicited comments of such nature are hurtful, and, no matter what the intention is, they lead to shame and humiliation, like in Audrey's case.

9 "I Mean, What Am I Supposed To Tell Him? How Much There Is For Him To Live For? Why Should I Lie To Him?"

Newman made his first-ever appearance as a voice-over character in the episode "The Revenge." He was unemployed, single, and, from what's seen in the episode, he didn't have a helpful friend, either.

Kramer dashes into Jerry's apartment to tell him he doesn't want anything to do with their Newman anymore because of his attitude. The men discuss their neighbor's misfortunes at length, and yet, none of them take an active interest in him. All warning signs must be taken seriously, and Jerry and Kramer should have proceeded to help Newman to get the assistance he needed.

8 "You're Getting Heavy. Yeah. You Look Like You've Put On 5... 10 Pounds."

All hell breaks loose in season five's episode "The Non-Fat Yogurt" when the gang suspects the new yogurt shop is making misleading claims about the fat content in their yogurt. The troublemaker of the gang, Kramer points out Elaine's weight gain rather insensitively. As Jerry stands up to object, Kramer shows little care for his feelings and adds, "I'll tell you something else. You're looking a little chunky yourself, buddy."

RELATED: Seinfeld: 10 Most Shameless Things Kramer Ever Did

Although Cosmo's observation turns out to be true, making crude remarks about people's weight is never okay and he should have been careful with his words.

7 "She Changed Her Hairstyle. It's Terrible. No, We're Done."

Season six's "The Kiss Hello" is another instance of how superficial Kramer's personality was. As soon as his girlfriend Wendy changed her hairstyle, he ended things with her and never looked back again.

Kramer was a fickle person who was more concerned with the outward appearance of the girls he dated than he should have been. This time around, however, he cranked his superficiality up a notch and ended things because his girlfriend had her hair cut.

6 "You Know... Get Out."

Of all the people in the City, Kramer was the only one the Soup Nazi seemed to respect. Their friendship meant he could drop in any time and keep Yev Kassem entertained with his rambling stories of the day. Kramer praised the Soup Nazi's strict ordering mechanism and helped him bully people who were unaware of the same.

Kramer had no business ordering a part-Spanish man out of the Soup Nazi's restaurant. Instead of standing up for the guy and asking his good friend, Yev to cut him some slack, Kramer ordered him to leave the premises.

5 "I'm Gonna Capture This."

Seinfeld's finale disappointed fans on many accounts, one of which was Kramer filming a carjacking victim in the fictional town of Latham, Massachusetts.

RELATED: Every Seinfeld Finale, Ranked

It was Kramer who had jumped up and down the plane and caused it to crash land in the first place. As the gang made their way into the town to recover from the shock of the crash landing, they witnessed a helpless boy getting mugged at gunpoint. Kramer turned on his camcorder and started to film the robbery. The rest of the gang followed his lead and made cruel jokes about the boy. They were put in jail for violating the Good Samaritan Law, and their trial turned into a media circus.

4 "And You Must... You Look Exactly Like Jerry. You Don't See This? Oh, You're Like Twins. This Is Eerie."

Quite shockingly, this was first thing that came out of Kramer's mouth when he met George's new girlfriend Janet in "The Cartoon." Everyone looked visibly uncomfortable, but, surprisingly, Janet took it all in her stride. While she didn't seem to mind the unpleasant remark, George was visibly upset—but that didn't deter Kramer from suggesting George was secretly in love with Jerry while everyone stared at him in disbelief.

3 "We'll Kidnap The Dog, We'll Drop Him Off Upstate."

In "The Engagement" when a loud Yorkshire Terrier kept her up all night, Kramer, the vile rogue suggested they kidnap it and drop it off upstate. He enlisted Newman's help, and together they rode in a rental car to commit the crime.

After driving for a while, Kramer abandoned the dog in Monticello at a stranger's doorstep. But, before he walked off, the dog tore a tag off his shirt. It found its way back to the owner, and the three dognappers were traced in no time. However loud this dog may have been, dognapping is not only inexcusable but a felony as well.

2 "You Know How There's Some People You Worry About Whether You're Going To Hurt Their Feelings? With Her, I'm Looking Forward To It. I'd Like To Get It On Video, Watch It In Slow Motion And Freeze Frame It."

...says Kramer in season three's "The Dog" while badmouthing his girlfriend, Ellen to Jerry and Elaine. She wasn't made out to be a nice person, but since when did it become okay to trash-talk a partner much less make a big speech about looking forward to inflicting pain on them?

Kramer's backbiting encouraged Elaine and Jerry to name-call Ellen as well. Confiding relationship problems in friends is one thing, but making a boastful remark about hurting one's partner is quite another.

1 "Hey! Stay Away From The Chicken. Bad Chicken. Mess You Up."

Season eight's "The Chicken Roaster" is a prime example of Kramer's uncivilized behavior. In the episode, Kenny Rogers Roasters sets up a chicken place right across the street from Kramer's place. A menacing red light comes off of its chicken sign, beams straight through Kramer's window and his apartment becomes a "red planet" of a hot mess.

Now, Kramer does go down to the restaurant to complain, but, after they dismiss him, he schemes to put the place out of business by "takin' it to the streets." He hangs a bad chicken banner from his window and drives the customers away. Come to think of it, there were plenty of civilized ways to resolve the conflict, and it was uncouth on Kramer's part to yell out his window and scare people like that.

NEXT: Seinfeld: 10 Ways Kramer Got Worse & Worse

Seinfeld: Ten Kramer Quotes That Haven't Aged Well | ScreenRant from https://ift.tt/2RBPqUN

[nowoyas]

Alright story time.

So I'm an Amazon vine member. Tldr this means I occasionally get free products in exchange for testing them and leaving honest reviews on them. I take this very seriously because for an unemployed college student who's hoping to find income and move out soon, I won't have money for things like "getting a bed" or "owning a decent cutting board to cook with". Note: yes I am anti-large corporations, especially Amazon. However, I live in a rural area and am disabled, so the 1-2 hour drive one way to get certain products is entirely untenable for me, so boycotting is not an option.

That aside, this means I have to test products I receive. Some are really nice! Most recently I got a fairly sturdy cane, which has been a massive help as I've been having a bit of a bad stretch with my back for the past few days and yesterday I had a fall when I tried to stand and was floor-bound for a little bit. I've also received, less useful, a kintsugi kit! For those who don't know, kintsugi is a Japanese art where, to put it quickly, you repair cracks and faults in pottery with gold. The more flawed, the more beautiful a piece is! And naturally, I have to test this kit before I can review it.

One problem with this: to test the kintsugi kit, I need a piece of something broken to repair. And I'm not willing to break a plate or a bowl or a glass just to test a repair kit that may not ultimately work, and there is a suggested timeframe to review during. But what I DO have is an old teacup and saucer I received from Scouts as a kid. My mom broke the saucer years ago (thanks mom) and we repaired it with super glue, but the glue job is kind of ugly. So I figure, why not try it on that?

Only problem: it's, uh, super glued. So I do some research and find out you can remove super glue from ceramic and porcelain using acetone, like in nail polish remover. I try that for a bit, but it's not quite working, probably because it can't get INTO the cracks to dissolve the super glue in there. Further research reveals that high heat will also work by melting the glue! But it's 11:30 at night, I don't own a hair dryer, and I don't think this saucer is oven safe. So I do the next best thing.

My bedroom is the coldest in the house, which means I get exclusive access to a space heater because during the wintertime even with the heat on in the house my hands go numb without it. And it's low to the floor because I'm not going to risk a fire by propping it higher up. So I get down on the floor on day 3 of a bad back stretch and crank the heater up to the highest setting, holding out the plate towards it with a towel to protect my fingers. And it works! After a little bit I'm able to pry apart the broken shards and set them aside to cool so I can try out the kintsugi kit.

Except.

Except.

1. It is day 3 of a bad back week, and I absolutely should not have gone down for floor time. When my back is bad, transitions are the hardest part, and I have frequently found myself stuck on the floor or in the bathtub because I can't call anyone to help me up and the pain is too great. I am now stuck on the floor.

2. I am wearing a metal necklace. It's my protective necklace. A dear friend gifted it to me ages ago and I haven't taken it off since. But it is metal. And I am stranded directly in front of a space heater blasting on max. The metal heats up and starts to burn my chest as I try to remember the steps my girlfriend (experienced in moving people who are in pain) has given me for getting up off the floor when there's a knife in my spine. I remember too late that I am within reach to just turn off the space heater. My chest is burned.

So anyways the kintsugi kit works great even if I wasn't the best at it and my teacup saucer is healing now. 4/5 stars, 1 star deducted due to unclear instructions and lacking a scraper to deal with the resin after the fact despite claiming to be a full kit.

oh you will not BELIEVE how I just managed to trigger/worsen an ongoing back flare up AND burn myself at the same time

[entirebodyexercise]

The Power of Intention

How a lot of you are the most effective lifter you can be? The amount of you take a level of focus into your training that is unshakable? The amount of you stroll into the training flooring with such laser-like focus that you are completely tuned right into every element of your movement? We all would certainly enjoy to say that was us. However in truth, everybody might tip our game up.

It all starts with intention.

What Are You Thinking?

Distraction is a much larger gamer during our exercises than the majority of us wish to admit. Loud music, cellular phones, the man shouting unemployed over there, all are conspiring to take your attention from your training. It's rather profound when you take a seat and also take supply of it. In our quest of both physical and spiritual development, finding 'peaceful' is among the toughest points to achieve.

I ask my professional athletes all the time, 'What are you considering when you are drawing that bar, squatting that weight, or pushing that bell?' Virtually 100% of the moment they can not give me an answer. More frustrating is when I ask exactly what they are assuming about prior to they begin a collection. Many of the time I get a blank look that informs me they aren't knowingly participated in their set. For some lifters a zombie-like state may serve them, no emotional attachment to the lift might allow them to rip away. For many of us, if you don't have a strategy on every associate, you prepare to fail.

Intention vs. Attention

Technique is king in every lift. As a train, I am mindful of the muscle mass associated with every motion, which ones are the chauffeurs, which ones are the key stabilizers and also which ones are essentially along for the flight. I try to present that level of understanding to my athletes since I desire them to understand precisely just what they are doing, ways to do it, and also extra notably, why they are doing it. That understanding is indicated to aid them create intention.

Much of what I am entering may sound even more like attention versus intent. There is an unique difference. Attention puts the lifter in a setting of the viewer. It provides them a front row seat to what is taking place in actual time with little influence on what will certainly be happening. Something happens, you bear in mind of it as well as you carry on. Purpose puts the lifter in the seat of the architect. Intention provides the lifter selection, as well as permits them to intend ahead (even if it's less than a second prior to relocating). Planning is what attention falls short to do. This is where having no plan comes to be planning to fail.

During topmost attempts and incredibly heavy sets, most of us stroll into the system with a degree of preparation. But this is a product of anxiety. That weight is so damn heavy that the survival reaction begins. This primitive should endure makes us consider our breath before taking it or probably our back position prior to the big pull.

The best lifters have that mindset before each lift. They have the ability to verbalize in natural information just how they deal with the bar or the bell. They could practically inform a story concerning just how they get in the rep. They could inform you precisely where their big toe is, what does it cost? stress they are applying and with exactly what degree their center of gravity mores than that toe. The information is fairly outstanding. Their degree of objective allows them to enter into the associate in a very particular way-so certain that they could speak with things like the big toe example. They enter into each collection, heavy or light, with a strategy.

The Cosmos and the Barbell

Many of us prefer to lug feeling right into a collection. We get terminated up and also hoot and also holler, crank the aggressive music, and after that whip away. But in lots of instances, this design of carelessness could bring about a lack of concentration. That could result in a break down in technique causing a missed lift or even worse, a gap that causes an injury. Emotion as well as rage can just lug you so far, however intention and focus will certainly complete the whole job. This is just what separates the greats from every person else.

Practitioners of spirituality and also psychology both agree that your awareness and intent develop the world you stay in. Several of them will inform you that we are all connected, not just to each other, yet to every creature worldwide. Our thoughts impact everything from ourselves to physical matter that is around us.

In my Qigong practice, objective is what relocates the power. Energetically talking, your awareness is the web that relocates, guides, as well as consists of the energy. The internet idea is a stylish system with remarkable precision. If you aren't going right into your training sessions, particular collections, or even private reps with a high degree of purpose, you are shedding your control over just what is happening. The internet that includes the power for the success of that set has no direction, no structure.

Intention in lifting is deeply rooted in planning. It's the suggestion that prior to I go and also get hold of that barbell, I've currently seen success because I've produced an approach that almost ensures it. I've scripted this embeded in my head in advance as well as I merely accomplish the plan. That is purpose. Your mind flourishes on this. It could become loyal to it. Intent is the grand instruction and also then strategy, experience, and emphasis will certainly complete the job.

The Wake Theory of Intention

Think of the wake a boat makes as it takes a trip via the water. The power generated off of the back of the boat develops that balanced collection of waves that relocate far from each other up until the power the boat produced runs out. Now, take that very same boat as well as relocate the wake in front of the watercraft, as if it has currently passed through that area. That power that the boat 'is going to develop' is already functioning and also producing the wake prior to the watercraft gets there. The watercraft, after that, silently takes a trip through a pre-established path via the water. This is intention.

In considerable training efforts, and even the most informal cozy up efforts, your plan, your intent, develops the manuscript for that set. Know and also strategy where your head is mosting likely to remain in your established up, have a full understanding as well as dedicate to the initiative the set is going to call for, as well as dial up the ideal strength prior to you take your breath. This develops the wake in front of your watercraft. If you see the set prior to it happens, if you set every one of the variables at the suitable amplitude and could clearly see the strategy you will make use of, you push that energy in front of you. And afterwards, the wake relocating in front of the boat, that purpose carries the effort. It sounds enchanting because it is. And also it functions.

Help from Dr. Phil

I'll offer you an instance from my weight area at Cal Poly. Since my athletes are football, baseball, volleyball players, as well as the like, they are not weightlifters. They raise weights to improve exactly what they do on the field. So compared with high-level Olympic lifters, they are novices. In several situations, the anxiety that they have regarding the workout in basic bleeds into their technique. When a tidy gets heavy, for instance, that fear reduces their elbows down, which puts them in a forward placement in the catch, because the elbows haven't made the full trip about. 9 breaks of 10, they will dump the bar and also miss out on the lift, including in their worry.

My approach after that transforms from Coach Holder to Dr. Phil. 'I know you are afraid,' I'll inform them. 'The weight is heavy. Which is great. But you need to choose, prior to you also bend down to approach bench, that you are devoting 100% to firing your arm joints with, as fast as you can. Make the choice before the rep is attempted that, hell or high water, the elbow joints will certainly rip with to the finish as fast as possible.' And also the following attempt, a lot more frequently compared to not, is an effective one. Given you by purpose.

Develop Intent to Perfect Your Practice

Focus on exactly what you are doing. Know all the variables associated with each of your sets. Intend on your success from lift to lift. Intention is something that calls for a level of refinement, so don't think it comes naturally for everybody. Like any type of ability, it requires method and also fine-tuning. I guarantee you, if you spend a little time on establishing your objective, your training will certainly be taken to levels you have just fantasized of.

Controlling your mind means managing your worries:

Get Back on the Horse

[ma-sulevin]

Hey, hey! I think I may have asked this before in a more off hand way, but I genuinely want to know: how do you manage to write so much (and so well) so quickly? It's really impressive! What is your secret? (please help me I have so many ideas and am struggling to finish even some -_-) Thanks!

Hey, hey yourself! First of all, I’m super flattered that you asked me this, so thank you!

As for writing advice: I just genuinely love writing. I don’t even remember learning to read when I was little; I just remember writing little stories about me and my friends and forcing them to sit and read them for me. I guess that was my first foray into RPF, hah.

Anyway. I was writing DA fic before I was sharing it. I love the characters, I was just starting to find fics on AO3 to read and I was loving them too, and I just wanted to have something to SHARE.

Since then, I’ve just been writing fic like it’s my full time job. Because I haven’t had a job since the end of August last year, I’ve had enough time on my hands to literally just sit at my computer for hours at a time writing. That rather makes it look like I’ve produced a lot of content in a short time, but it’s a little misleading because I literally wasn’t doing anything else with my life.

I’ve been lucky enough to have a few long stories that have been received really well. This means I get a lot of encouragement in the forms of kudos, comments, reblogs, and (at least once) people arguing with each other about my characters. Despite all the advice to “write for yourself,” that’s been a huge encouragement to me. It’s a lot easier to write something when you’ve got people clamoring for the next update.

Friday nights for DWC I do crank out a lot of material in a short time. It’s helpful to be drunk for this because then I don’t care if it’s shit or not, and then I have material the next day to go over and edit if I want. 

So. For things I struggle to finish: sometimes I have to erase a lot of the previous blocks of text to be able to keep going. When I’m stuck, sometimes I find that the problem is farther back and I’ve accidentally written myself into a corner.

The last three chapters of my mgit au have been like that. They would be twice as long as they are if I didn’t keep starting over and moving stuff around. My first Fire chapter was originally the Inquisitor talking to Rose, but I deleted like 2000 words to go back and make her talk to Solas, because that made more sense for the flow.

As for how I write “so well,” that’s just practice I guess. I’ve been writing for like 20 years and I have an unreasonably voracious reading habit. That used to mean I read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in a single sitting the day it came out, but now it means I read a 400,000+ word fic in two days because I’m desperate to get to the end of that ultimate slow burn. (Again: unemployed.)

Anyway. I ramble. That’s probably part of how I write so much.

Summary: practice, practice, delete if necessary, publish and try not to give a shit what it looks like if you like it.

[akxyaptn-blog]

Why did the emergency room  need auto insurance?

Why did the emergency room need auto insurance?

We slammed on brakes to avoid car running red light no collision hospital made copies of auto insurance for dh headache and sore neck why and will insurance be notified and will rates go up live in northern Minnesota

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :HELP-INSURE.NET

SOURCES:

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[zeroviraluniverse-blog]

The dark side of the transfer window sees players powerless over moves

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The dark side of the transfer window sees players powerless over moves

It was mid-January when the manager called the striker into his office and told him to leave. No “sorry,” no “thank you”: just go. But where? There had been no plans to go; the only plans were the ones his partner was making for the weekend with a friend, but she could forget those. Time to move, again. Leave it behind, six months after arriving, just as she, just as they, had started to settle. So off he set to see what they had to say. A couple of days later, she packed up the car and drove more than 600 kilometers across to the other side of Spain.

He was lucky; he’d found a club. Quickly, too. Not one he really wanted to be at, and not in a city that she wanted to be in either, but at least he had work. Not all of them do: Every summer and every winter, the Spanish players’ union put together a team of unemployed footballers, and every summer and every winter, they are oversubscribed. It was the eighth club they had become part of in four-and-a-half years. There have been four different countries as well, none of which are hers.

A team in the same division awaited, but lower down the table. A nondescript budget hotel awaited too, and another trip back to pick up more of their things. In six months’ time, they’ll probably have to do it all over again, just like so many others. Beyond the elite, it is worth the occasional reminder that football is like that, and even among the elite it is far from perfect.

“The goal at Barcelona does not measure what it measures,” Víctor Valdes once said. He talks eloquently about the psychological burden on footballers and the way it affected him. There is a reason why, when he finally retired this month, he walked away entirely, deleted his social media accounts and disappeared. He had said that he likes to surf, being out there alone where there’s no one except the occasional fish swimming past. The pressure is just part of it, a part that the media and supporters have begun to engage with. But there are more prosaic problems too, a basic reality there that’s too often overlooked, and one that comes to the fore every transfer window.

Something simple: Work. Life.

Footballers are not immune to that, especially not below the first division, and it’s not always as easy as it seems. There it becomes more like any other job, sometimes even when it comes to the salary. It is no sob story, no, but their reality can be precarious and temporary. They’re often at the mercy of those who control their destiny. Just because we’re talking about a football club doesn’t make them any better behaved or any more concerned with their employees’ well-being.

Victor Valdes has often talked about the stresses of the transfer window given how players are often powerless. Matthew Ashton – AMA/Getty Images

Valdes’ former teammate Dani Alves has insisted, “I was happier when I lived in the countryside with my dad than I often am now. Why? Because I didn’t know how prostituted the world is.” One former player jokes about the day that he writes his autobiography. He says he might call it: “Football: great game, full of c–ts.” And that’s at the highest level.

As the ex-Barcelona and Osasuna striker Oriol Riera put it: “At the top, maybe it is the way that kids see it, the way the media treat it, but beneath that, the reality is different. I love football, but. … People see Instagram, Twitter, the bubble, that’s not the reality. There’s a lot of crap in football, and you have to live with that.” For those seeing it for the first time, it can be startling as those illusions are undone.

And the January market offered up more examples, as ever.

A young player came through the youth system at a third-tier club who had drawn one of the country’s biggest teams in the cup. In his first few games, he impressed, a rare talent, still a kid, still in his teens and getting attention from teams higher up, but he hadn’t yet signed a first-team contract. When he hesitated, he was threatened and told that he wouldn’t play in those cup games, the opportunity of a lifetime taken away. He hasn’t played since. He hasn’t even been allowed to train. The version of the story sold by the club, justifying their approach by blaming him, is not the way he tells it. And while he will probably make his way elsewhere one day, if anyone has paid for it, it is he.

At the end of the market, you look back at the moves and try to work out who the winners and losers are. We did it yesterday. Which clubs did well, which did badly? But what of the players? It’s easy to cast your gaze towards the top, and there, the big winners are the players, of course: Much has been made of the money Alexis Sanchez will make. That word has returned again: mercenary. There have been more laments for lost loyalty. But this is like other businesses; not everyone makes that much money and not everyone controls their destiny. Often the losers are players too, especially beyond the top flight.

Plenty of players have found that when they look set to leave, the machine cranks into gear, and their character is assassinated as part of the deal: lazy, uncommitted, a mercenary, never that good in the first place. Even at the top level, that happens; it’s especially fierce, too, as clubs have to save face and presidents protect themselves, where their interests are what they are. The clubs’ version of the story is taken on board readily, and loyalty becomes a leitmotiv, a recurring theme.

But, wait, loyalty? It is only ever presented from one side, but while it’s true that players look after themselves, that they can be selfish, that they kiss the badge and soon walk out the door, that the man who says he will never join his team’s rivals may well do exactly that one day, clubs aren’t loyal to players either. Thing is, the clubs are, well, the clubs; even though they’re run by people too, the fans who sit in judgement naturally lean their way.

Oriol Riera has also experienced the churn of changing clubs. He’s currently at his ninth team since 2008. Mark Tantrum/Getty Images

If a player wants to walk, he is criticised; if a club makes him, they rarely are. And if they’re not playing, what can they do? If they stay, if they see out the contract signed, that too is looked upon negatively, but that’s the deal they signed.

Careful what you sign though, and not just because anything more than a year is rare below the first division, where real life has a nasty habit of getting in the way. At another club in Spain, a sub-clause (the small print in an appendix) allows a club to unilaterally release players with two months’ pay. So they do. And they do it on the last day of the market, with literally hours to go to find a new job and a new life. Never mind the bonus. That salary you were counting on? Gone. Oh, and you’d better find yourself another club. If you can.

Midway through the season, another player spends his weekends watching from the stands or on television. It’s no one’s fault, exactly, just the way it goes: Players were signed to play ahead of him. He trained harder than ever, but it didn’t change. There was little choice but to go; as January progresses, there are no offers. Well, there is one, but the money is, he says, a “joke,” a 75 percent pay cut. The total amount is less than the average salary nationwide, but the days pass and the deadline approaches, there’s nothing else and, eventually, he goes. What else can he do? Go to another club in another city.

“I’m just sick of moving,” he says.

[serverthoughts]

Why I Haven’t Been Posting

This isn’t your topic blog post. This is a cool blog post.

Sorry, I couldn’t not make that reference. My apologies, tip your waitress after the show.

This is more of a life update/work update/explanation on why I post once every six weeks (maybe). At the most if we are truly being real with each other here. Although, my last post was only a month ago, so see, I’m already making progress! Go ST! I’m gross, I’ll stop.

Life update: I am officially done with my junior year of college, and I’m still not allowed to legally drink in this great country of ‘Merica. I’m not lying when I say I think about the day, every single day, I’ll finally be able to go to a bar and not worry about my bartender or server questioning why my fake ID, the girl is a brunette and I’m a box-dyed blonde whose 2-3 inches taller and an disclosed amount of weight, heavier.

Just kidding, my patriotism is probably at an all time low, like most of the country. If we’re being real here, I was that kid who used to tell anyone who would say, “America is the best country in the world,” and hit them with stats on why we are not, so yes, I indeed am fun at parties. Although, my senior year of high school was the year I called myself a Republican, because my best friend was a Republican. 

It was a dark time, I don’t like to talk about it, which is exactly why I brought it up. Anyway, yes I’m done with school until the fall, which opens my schedule way up, other than work and stuff.

Which brings me to reason #2 why I haven’t been writing: I absolutely hate my job and at any moment I am on the verge of walking out and coping with being unemployed, which scares me more than being a Republican. Before the assumptions start, no - I am not a liberal, either. Thanks carry on.

Remember when I said my new general manager, isn’t exactly our lord and savior? Well he’s definitely not. He’s more like George W. Bush, not liked by many and just plunging the country the restaurant down the toilet. All the reasons I liked working at my job have suddenly vanished. My closest friends/coworkers are quitting or have already quit/got fired. The family-like relationship we had at my job was the main reason why we would stick around, and now that so many of our family members have left, our family is broken-up, just like my parents during my childhood. 

(Sorry mom, for dragging you into this when all you’ve done is mind your own business and provide for our family all my life, all by yourself.)

I’ve been having really bad days and guest experiences. I’m not your typical shitty server that is used to the customers being dissatisfied, I’m a good server, which may be hard to believe based on my overall attitude and lack of fucks I typically do not give, but I am. 

Side note: I don’t really like calling myself a good server, because I personally think I’m an adequate server. I treat my customers all the same, and give them the same service. Basically, I myself am the type of server that I want when I eat at a restaurant, but I don’t like to label myself as ‘great’ because I’m a modest person who isn’t good at complimenting herself. Just another thing I have to talk about to my non-existent therapist.

Money has been a hit and miss, lately. I made $37 on a Friday night closing shift a couple of months ago, but a few months ago on a Saturday night, I made the most I’ve ever made at my job. Although in defense, there were only 5 servers that night.

I am tired of working my ass off for people to stiff me, or tip me very little. If I give shitty service, that’s understandable, but if you’re a cheap bastard whose also my customer, you’re affecting my way of living. Servers live off of their tips, so if you’re a 19 year old college student who orders water, boneless wings, and chicken tenders and doesn’t tip me or leaves me 32 cents, because you cannot afford to leave me anything higher, YOU need to reevaluate your priorities sis.

My server manager is leaving our restaurant at the end of the month, and it’s very sad because I’ve known her for around 13 years and suddenly, she’s decided to leave. When our server manager was on leave, our bar manager was doing the server schedule and I found myself closing every weekend for 6 months straight, and I know that I’m immediately going to go back to that when she leaves. 

My schedule is a very big reason why I want to quit. I’m tired of the management not rotating their closing servers, especially on the weekend. It’s not even that I have plans and I’m upset that I don’t get to party because I have to work. I’m upset that maybe only one other person has to close every weekend like myself, while others only work mornings because they don’t like nights because of the clientele and the fast paced environment.

I asked my server manager if I could start working only mornings and she walked away and scheduled me to close Friday and Sunday night for this weekend.

I’m fed up. I’m over it, and it’s at the point where I used to be able to talk about shitty situations and make them funny for the blog (wow I hate myself), but I hate my job so much that I’m unable to make a bad situation into a humorous one for my audience (lmfao, sorry) my readers.

Like, I just really don’t want to relive the argument I got in with one of my tables, over something completely stupid and I almost got written up over it, and write about it for a blog post, when that situation already makes me want to go ahead and quit.

Overall, I hate my work so bad that I don’t want to talk about it in my spare time and make jokes about it, when every week I fight myself if “this is the week I’m going to quit finally,” and it never is.

All my bitching and moaning aside, I’m working on my resume and am planning to start applying to places next week at the latest. I’m thinking about applying for a receptionist position just because I’m a bit burnt out of working at corporate America chain-restaurants, for awhile. 

So what does this mean for my posts? Well, just because I no longer like what I do, doesn’t mean I’ve run out of topics to bitch about. I could write a whole book about my job, but at I’m no The Bitchy Waiter™. Only in my dreams, obviously.

I’m hoping since I’m done with school for the summer that maybe I can start cranking out posts, maybe once every three weeks, and cut in half what I currently write. Ideally, once a week would be dope, but that would mean I would have to start working more than three days, and three days is already pushing it. I prefer working two days a week and making just enough to support my weed habit and pay my bills. 

DEA don’t come for me, I’m already having a rough time as it is.

Moral of the story, I will see you all next week and update you on the job situation: will she or won’t she leave her serving job and just become (customer service)thoughts™? And a new post about something server related or about my job.

I’m lame I know, but you still love me.

Xoxo,

serverthoughts.

[shell313-blog]

Black Flags Introduction

Black Flags Introduction

“Why the fuck am I doing this?” Sahil thought as he walked against the stinging winds of January. Even the night itself seemed to be telling him to leave. He couldn’t though since he was trapped in a never ending loop of bullshit. US Military bullshit- the best kind for those of you that aren’t fully schooled and acquainted with bullshit. It wasn’t the punishment of Uncle Sam or the Boys in Blue that he feared. It was something far worse than that - a devout Muslim father. He didn’t even know for sure that he was gay. In fact, he had been with plenty of women. It was one man though…and that’s enough to punish yourself for. As a man, that is not acceptable. Not unless you decide to fully let go and start waving a rainbow flag. Somehow, the love of one man taints the heterosexual pool. So this bullshit, this bitter cold wind, like icicles through his heart was penance. His name was Jack. The smell of his cologne still passed through the air whenever he thought of him. He wasn’t extremely handsome or built nor was he feminine. He was a pure human soul that seemed to embody all ancient wisdom and thought, he was real. Sahil wanted to crawl inside of him on this cold night but Jack was long gone. Sahil kissed him one night. It was the only time he had ever lost complete control and just acted on impulse. He had dreamt of it, yet tried to push it out of his head while he was conscious. It wasn’t like kissing a woman. There wasn’t a fruity, floral smell and soft, petal-like lips. It was strong and comforting. There was something desperate and barbaric about it. Somehow- it was more natural than anything he had experienced. It wasn’t clumsy, it was fluid. It just flowed into eventually- well. That was then. Jack, in all his realism and spiritual wisdom never spoke of it. They continued as friends as though it never happened. That was worse, and ever since, Sahil chased that sublime feeling. Drugs, many women, illegal activity- none of it came close. It did land him in this mess though. For him to tell his father, he would have to tell his story- starting with Jack. That could never happen. Sahil would rather die than be a faggot in the eyes of his devout Muslim father. He wouldn’t even have to tell his father about Jack- the US Military would beat him to the punch. His family had been on a terrorist watch list at the time of his gay encounter. Everyone in their family was being monitored. So, in short, Sahil and Jack’s very natural encounter was a video in the possession of the United States government. Fucking pieces of shit. He got arrested for stealing money from a register at a gas station one night. Him and his friends had been snorting blow all night and it just seemed like something exciting to do. They were white though. They were able to get away with probation. Number one mistake when you’re a Muslim in America, don’t commit a crime. No matter what you did, you can never pay your debt. He was forced into a life of slavery after that- his main job function? Sahil was forced to become a terrorist. I know. This doesn’t make any sense. It didn’t to me either. America doesn’t want terrorists. I would find out that’s simply untrue and America is cranking them out like Apple makes their iPhones. After all, someone needs to be the bogeyman. I don’t know any other way to be. I somehow see the ugly truth like grime on a quartz countertop. I have a strong sense of justice that frequently got me into trouble growing up. “It doesn’t matter how smart you are when you act like an asshole all day long,” was a frequent phrase I heard from my mother. She wasn’t very articulate and was definitely crass. She was right though. In her simplicity she nailed it. I tried to make friends and be part of a social group but I kept being pushed out or ignored until I simply went away. I don’t sit here telling you this because I expect pity. I personally don’t care what you think about it. Most people in this society would just assume I was wrong anyway. There is no more love, compassion or understanding anymore. It’s all feigned tolerance and acceptance. People accept the groups the media tells them to. The truth-seekers are at the bottom of that list. I sought the shadows of the world. Anything unexplored (except the oceans since I’m afraid of sharks) were free game. One day, I stumbled into the vacuum of truth. The void of all that is decent and good. It started with the knowledge that the White House was ordering Black Flags regularly- plain Black Flags. It seems innocuous at the surface. How dangerous is a flag? Well right after that question is asked, synapses start firing (or misfiring in the case of most people). How many conflicts arise over a piece of cloth? And what the hell does America want with a bunch of black flags? It all led to Sahil and a story that I wish I had never heard. It was a story that uncovered a huge lie that the people just accepted. I wasn’t terribly excited about being involved in something like that. I wasn’t on point like Michael Hastings though so really who would even care? At that point, I didn’t even think that there was anything to it. After all, if the government was going to do something evil, wouldn’t they be a little more discreet? Well again, the synapses started firing. In recent history, the government had done the most of their evil right in front of us. They don’t even seem to care that the people know. The machine is so powerful, it simply can’t be brought down. So, again, who would actually care about me? At the time, I was unemployed. I lost my job at a restaurant because I told a customer that the fish still smelled better than her pussy. I can’t help it, I did grow up listening to the foul mouth of my mother. At some point, I gave up on trying to sound like an educated, well bred individual. I embraced the filthy language and crude behavior I was raised with. I was living with this guy I met years earlier in a bowling alley. I was at the snack bar buying a soda and I dropped it as soon as I started walking away. Suddenly, as I crouched on the floor, my skin radiating embarrassment, a young man walked up and offered to buy me a new one. Of course, the person behind the counter saw the whole thing and was pouring a new one as we spoke. He probably knew that, but he looked really good offering me a new one, didn’t he? I said I saw truth, but I was naïve as hell when it came to men. I actually mistook their phony lines for love and interest. At the time I danced in those dark shadows though, I think I was finally over it all. I still lived with the soda jerk however, and didn’t have any plans to leave. I was over love…it was just an illusion. Now- I know that love truly does exist. The truest forms of love are the ones that remain intact no matter what else is going on around it. I hate the fact such a connection is even called “love”. There simply is no word that would accurately describe when two people become one organism. It’s a truly amazing thing. Anyway, that’s all something else entirely. I met Sahil after I watched him leaving an Army base one day. His head was raised high, yet he wasn’t looking at anything. He moved quickly and directly as though he were pulled by an imaginary cable. There was something methodical in his movements and I simply wanted to know his mission. I walked slowly behind him. I made a lot of noise so I wouldn’t sneak up on him. “Hi…” I said as I approached his left side. He turned his head slightly and said nothing. “Listen…I kind of just wanted to talk to you. I’m trying to figure something out here, and I was hoping you may be able to help.” He shrugged and kept walking. “I’m not a cop or anything.” He laughed. “Why do you assume I would be afraid of law enforcement?” “I don’t know…isn’t everyone? I mean, unless you are a cop of course. Then you can just do whatever the fuck you want.” He chuckled. “I can’t argue with you there. What can I do for you?” “Well…I’m trying to figure something out here…” “You said that already. Who are you?” “My name is Tobin…O’Reilly.” “Do you have a card?” “No, I’m no one. I’m just curious about something.” “Okay. What are you curious about Miss Tobin O’Reilly?” “Could you stop please? I don’t really like talking and walking at a very fast pace.” “Okay, not here though. I really just want to get the fuck out of this place. Do you want to go somewhere? Coffee? Do you drink that?” “Does a kangaroo have giant balls?” His jaw dropped. “What?” “Yes…they do have giant balls and I love coffee.” “Do you remember the days when there were other coffee shops besides Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks? I remember there was this place in a town near me that had this giant Chess board outside. It was really cool. We tried to protest the Starbucks from taking over but seriously…Starbucks owns the world so…you can’t really fight that. I do like Frappuccinos though. If you make something like that then maybe you should earn a high rank in the world.” “You talk a lot, Tobin.” What a dick, I knew he would make some kind of comment like that once I was finished. “I don’t really spend much time around people. “ “It’s kind of obvious.” He smiled and sipped his coffee. “Alright…fine. I’ll just tell you what my problem is.” He nodded. “So it turns out that the government is buying a fuckton of black flags. I want to know what the hell they are doing with them.” He was quiet. “I know, I’m crazy right.” “Listen…I don’t think I can talk to you.” I felt excitement after his response. “It’s fucked up, isn’t it? What they’re doing with them, isn’t it?” “How the hell should I know or care about what the government is doing with flags. You don’t really seem like a professional person, Tobin. In fact, if I had to guess, I would say you are off your meds.” “You know what, douche? I really, truly, sincerely, honestly wish that were the case. I have a mess of a life, I don’t really need some nonsense like this in it.” “So then why are we here and why are you asking me? Why do you think I would even know that? Because I’m a Muslim, I must be a terrorist?” “No…that’s not what I thought. Not, at all. You just seemed…approachable.” “How many people did you ask before me?” “I stopped counting after 12.” “How many of them were white?” “Wow…I have no freaking idea, okay?” “Fair enough. So you were just hanging outside an Army base to ask a random stranger about black flags?” “Kind of…” I felt pretty embarrassed. “A regular Edward R Murrow aren’t you?” “I’m not trying to be a journalist. What the hell does that even mean now anyway? All journalists are now are jerks that go on TV and help to perpetuate a message of fear and self-loathing. The fact that you referenced a journalist that died over 50 years ago is proof of that.” He pushed his coffee cup to the side and leaned closer. “That’s what you think?” “It’s what I know, huge difference. Did I have you at ‘fuck this world’?” He laughed. “You could say that. I may know some things but I have to ask what you plan on doing with this information?” “I honestly don’t know. I don’t know why I have to know and I have no clue why I’m sitting here with you.” “I don’t either. My initial instinct was to walk away…and yet. I kept walking with you.” The second time in Sahil’s life where he completely lost control and his instincts took over. Why did he go with me? Why did he want to talk? Was it because he couldn’t live the lie anymore and there I was? Was it because he just had to free himself of that heavy burden? Who really knows? Fate is like that. In the beginning, all it takes are two seemingly random and unrelated things to converge at some wayward point in a vast open space. Once they collide however, space starts to shrink around them and a clear path is formed. I was right when I felt that I wanted nothing to do with any of this. Ignorance is definitely bliss. What good would it do to know the truth about something you can’t change anyway? Someone like me, a loner, no friends and a roommate that I slept with a few times a month, does not benefit from such hopelessness. I was born to the let-downs of the world. When I was a kid, my favorite thing in the world was the Loch Ness Monster. I mean really, who doesn’t adore Nessie? What is cooler than an elusive sea creature? If you’re not a nerd then I’m sure many things, but for me…Nessie was the most exciting thing. Can you feel my elation when I read it could be a dinosaur? It rocked my nerdy world. Dinosaurs? Of course, when I started reading what scientists had to say about how a creature that size would never be able to survive in the loch based on a limited food supply and that the most famous and probing photo of Nessie was a hoax, I realized maybe mysteries are invented because life is so damn boring. All we do is get up, go to work, come home, watch Netflix, read a book (most of us fail on this thing), maybe go for a walk, go to sleep, repeat. We invent mysteries…we make up stories. So is that what I did with these flags? Did I just want to be involved in some story? Did I just want to add some excitement to my boring life? What if I told you that the levees in Louisiana were purposely ignored in the hopes a Category 5 hurricane would wipe away the poor areas? All so wealthy men could come in and make some more money? Part of you would probably know that it’s true. That other part though, the one that realizes we are on the losing side denies it. What good would it do to question the reality we’ve been presented with? It’s much easier to believe we are free and this life is ideal. That is, unless you’re Sahil. Unless you’re the bogeyman and the true enemy of us good and decent Americans. After all, his kind threatens our perfect way of life. He carries bombs everywhere he goes and he’s looking for the right moment to destroy us all. He’s especially waiting for some adorable, blue-eyed little child. Worst of all, these terrorists don’t even value their own lives. They would kill themselves to further their cause. They are barbarians without souls. How can we fight an enemy like that? At least with other “civilized” nations, life is valued. Again- firing synapses. Sahil held the door open for me, he slammed his brakes when a little boy ran in front of the car, he pet someone’s dog as we walked down the street (to the horror of its owner) - he valued life instinctively. Sahil was 16 when the planes struck the towers. He finished high school being hated, pushed down flights of stairs and beat up in the parking lot while teachers watched from afar. One day, he went out to his car and saw the word “terrorist” was keyed into the side. His family moved to the US from Pakistan when he was a baby. He didn’t even remember living anywhere else. America was just as much his home as the bastard that keyed his car. It didn’t matter though. It was a new world and he wasn’t wanted in it. He watched with indifference as the country banded together with pitchforks and torches shouting: “turn the Middle East into a glass parking lot”. His mother feared for their safety and resorted to buying her children pepper spray hidden in pens. She sternly told them to use it in emergencies. Jihadist beheading videos- what can possibly be scarier than that? We hear stories of the religious warriors using dull blades and hacking away at the flesh of non-believers. Their black flags with unfamiliar language painted on are quite terrifying. Yes, they are clearly the bad guys. They even have a pirate-like appearance. The terrorists always have to praise Allah before these gruesome acts just in case we forgot to fear their God also. Much like the Mexican cartel murder videos that remind us to support a wall and tightened border. Sahil was real to me. He didn’t tell me what he thought I wanted to hear- for once. He didn’t spit out commonly used phrases and tell me that I was the best woman he’d ever met. He didn’t tell me his heart had been broken beyond repair by the last woman so he needed to be comforted. We all know how men like to be comforted too. They won’t say it but the second you want to give them a hug they start moving your hand somewhere else. He wasn’t like that. It’s like he didn’t expect it to go anywhere beyond us talking. It didn’t matter he was a man and I was a woman. Is it possible he hadn’t been treated like a human in so long that he was able to feel comfort in my presence alone? Sahil sat in a dingy, gray room with stained ceiling tiles for what seemed like days. He was beaten. Not by the police. The night went by so fast. He couldn’t remember how he’d gotten to the places it was said he had been. Was he even there? He did vaguely remember the robbery. The man behind the counter was also Pakistani, a fact that disappointed his father. They were supposed to stick together in this adversity. Maybe it was growing up in a white town that gave him a false sense of belonging. He’d underestimated the rest of society when it came to “his kind” Then there was the coke. “Us white suburban boys don’t have access to hard drugs. The terrorist element brought it in to destroy this community.” Intent to distribute. Sahil had never even thought of the stuff until he joined that circle. It didn’t matter though when it came to public opinion and the ruling class. He sat in the cold plastic chair waiting to hear his father’s booming voice. Where did the design for those awful chairs come from anyway? I always wondered that- all my life. Why spend time and resources making a chair that is so damn uncomfortable you can’t even think straight while you’re in it? Synapses are firing. At first, Sahil’s story was like a really bad James Bond plot. The US Government can’t just invent and mass produce enemies. For one thing, they don’t have to. As long as there are different cultures there will be conflict. As long as power exists, people will kill each other for it. Not to sound overly simple but why not just use the perfectly good enemies we already had? You can’t control a natural enemy. You can control an enemy that never existed in the first place. What happens when that enemy cuts the cord and becomes a real enemy? He told me the government had studios all over the country. Using only cell phones and other devices that produced grainy images, videos were uploaded to the dark places on the internet and slowly leaked into the mainstream. The objective was the make the people fear their enemy. The government loved the internet. It provided a new forum for their propaganda and manipulation. They could keep their squeaky clean censored television by day and make snuff films under the cover of darkness. Now you’re wondering if the videos were real. Some of them were and some were not as far as what is seen in the videos. For example, the Mexican and Dominican videos on Live Leak contain actual violence. The “fake” part of the video are the circumstances surrounding the violence. The poor victim in the video believes it, however it’s all manufactured. Yes. The powerful people in charge love the internet. A video seen on these darker forums is much more likely to be believed. The average person that watches someone thrown on the floor and beheaded as they scream for mercy would feel shock and probably couldn’t even place their feelings. Most of the time they won’t stop watching. The best part? That image will stay in their minds forever. The image of another’s suffering and brutal depraved murder on the internet. What is commonly felt? Thank God I don’t live there. Thank God I’m free. People can click on these pirate videos of men covered up, waving their black flags of death. What can we do to keep them from killing us so viciously? Nothing. We are Americans so that’s enough to merit a death sentence. How fucking horrible and scary is that? What the hell can we do expect wait to die? Every time we are in a crowd, we find ourselves scanning it for someone with a backpack or an usually thick coat. Sahil had seen it all happen and was in fact made to participate in the videos. He had not been forced to kill yet. The government allows the real psychopaths (usually the CIA) to do the most ruthless acts possible. It’s some kind of reward for them. A sickening one at that. As I said, the people are innocent and totally picked at random most of the time. As much as we would all like to believe that we are each special and important we are nothing. We are all interchangeable. Sahil hated every part of his double life. As time went by, it wasn’t even that his secret would be exposed that kept him the dutiful slave. His father probably would get over it. Maybe he could even lie and say the video was a fake. We all know technology is so great that’s possible. As the years dragged on, Sahil became familiar with what his captors were capable of. Noble men would say that death is better. Noble men that have not faced it before. Over time, real terrorists began to appear. You could never be sure if they were CIA or naturally occurring. It was a high stakes game. Sahil simply followed his orders and went back to his life when it was over. It was almost impossible to erase the awful images from his mind and it kept him awake at night. How could such evil exist? It was better to believe they were terrorists that had some kind of cause. This was all at the whim of an evil empire. That brings us up to speed. Now that you can understand the world you are about to enter, it just may easier for you to follow along.

[robertmcangusgroup]

The Daily Tulip

The Daily Tulip

Tuesday 17th January 2017

Good Morning Gentle Reader…The moon is waning, in the clear skies above Estepona this morning and the ever reliable stars and planets are filling the space left by the diminishing light source.. I remember as a child laying on my back looking up towards the heavens trying to pick out certain celestial bodies such as "The Plough - Big Dipper" "Orion's Belt" "The Seven Sisters" at the time I had no idea that this fascination would last longer than my mother and father walked on this planet we call Earth.... and laying there as a child I had no idea that I was looking back in time.. and today as I walk Bella I recall those moments, the smell of the grass, the tickle of the insects and the twinkle of those distant stars...

THE WORLD’s EIGHT richest individuals have as much wealth as the 3.6bn people who make up the poorest half of the world, according to Oxfam. The charity said its figures, which critics have queried, came from improved data, and the gap between rich and poor was "far greater than feared". Oxfam's report coincides with the start of the World Economic Forum in Davos. Mark Littlewood, of the Institute of Economic Affairs, said Oxfam should focus instead on ways to boost growth. "As an 'anti-poverty' charity, Oxfam seems to be strangely preoccupied with the rich," said the director-general of the free market think tank. For those concerned with "eradicating absolute poverty completely", the focus should be on measures that encourage economic growth, he added. Ben Southwood, head of research at the Adam Smith Institute, said it was not the wealth of the world's rich that mattered, but the welfare of the world's poor, which was improving every year. "Each year we are misled by Oxfam's wealth statistics. The data is fine - it comes from Credit Suisse - but the interpretation is not." The annual event in Davos, a Swiss ski resort, attracts many of the world's top political and business leaders. Katy Wright, Oxfam's head of global external affairs, said the report helped the charity to "challenge the political and economic elites". "We're under no illusions that Davos is anything other than a talking shop for the world's elite, but we try and use that focus," she added.

THE POUND HAS hit its lowest level for more than three months on reports Britain was set to quit the EU single market as part of its Brexit plans. Sterling fell below the $1.20 level before recovering slightly on Monday. The pound also dropped to a two-month low against the euro, falling more than 1% to about €1.13 in Asian trading. Analysts said traders were reacting to reports that UK Prime Minister Theresa May would use a speech on Tuesday to signal a so-called "hard Brexit". Reports have suggested she will signal pulling out of the EU single market and customs union, although Downing Street described this as "speculation". The pound has fallen about 20% against the dollar since June's EU referendum, to lows last regularly seen in 1985. Much of that volatility has been due to uncertainty about the economic impact if the UK gives up its tariff-free access to the EU.

"I WAS SO SURPRISED when I got the letter, and a bit sceptical too," says Liisa Ronkainen, one of 2,000 Finns chosen for a government experiment to provide unemployed people with a basic income. Out of work for half a year, Liisa, 26 and from Helsinki, has been looking for a job without success. "While I'm unemployed I will only get €36 more per month with the basic income. I've always been positive about the idea, though, so it was nice to be one of those who were chosen." Basic income has frequently been suggested as a way of cutting welfare bureaucracy as well as poverty. But one of the main reasons why Finland's social insurance agency Kela is trying out the monthly tax-free payment of €560 (£490; $600) is to see whether providing a basic income will make the unemployed more eager to go into short-term jobs. Finland has some 213,000 unemployed, a higher rate than its Nordic neighbours, and a working population of 2,413,000. Short-term contracts here have steadily become a key feature of Finland's labour market.

OUTGOING CIA DIRECTOR John Brennan has warned US President-elect Donald Trump to avoid off-the-cuff remarks once he takes office. He said spontaneity was not in the interests of national security. Mr Trump is known for regularly making broad pronouncements on issues of national importance on his Twitter feed. Mr Brennan also said that Mr Trump did not fully appreciate Russia's capabilities or intentions. "I think Mr Trump has to understand that absolving Russia of various actions that it's taken in the past number of years is a road that he, I think, needs to be very, very careful about moving down," he said. Mr Brennan's remarks, in an interview for Fox News Sunday, come a week after the release of a US intelligence report which said Russian President Vladimir Putin had probably attempted to influence the election. Mr Trump is considered to have underplayed for months the conclusions of the intelligence community that Moscow hacked Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton's campaign. He only accepted them at a news conference on Wednesday. Meanwhile both the Kremlin and Mr Trump's team have denied reports in the Sunday Times newspaper that the two sides were planning a summit between Mr Trump and Mr Putin in the Icelandic capital Reykjavik. Reykjavik was the venue for a summit in 1986 - near the end of the Cold War - between Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev, the then US and Soviet leaders.

AND FINALLY…THE HILLS HOIST clothes line was the quintessential image of suburban life in 20th Century Australia. But now it has been sold to an American firm, many Australians have expressed sadness, writes the BBC's Ben Collins. I remember the Hills Hoist in my Queensland yard when I was a child: the rusted creak as it went with the wind, the grease in its grooves, even the cobwebs around the crank that raised it higher. It was one of the old ones, made of metal and strung with wire, with old plastic pegs that cracked in the sun. It was a plaything as much as a clothes line, a manmade tree from which I used to hang and look at the dead grass below. Many people have similar fond memories, leading to fears the Hills Hoist, the great symbol of Australian suburban life, has come to the end of the line. Hills, the company which has sold the Hills Hoist since 1946, last week offloaded its home living division - including rights to the clothes line - to AMES Australasia, a local subsidiary of the New York-based Griffon Corporation. Australians have been reminiscing about the nation's success story, and decrying the loss of the design to an overseas company. Local television programme Sunrise even said it was "un-Australian".

Well Gentle Reader I hope you enjoyed our look at the news from around the world this Tuesday morning…

Our Tulips today are from Oregon at first light with Mt Hood in the far distance .... it's an amazing world we live in...

A Sincere Thank You for your company and Thank You for your likes and comments I love them and always try to reply, so please keep them coming, it's always good fun, As is my custom, I will go and get myself another mug of "Colombian" Coffee and wish you a safe Tuesday 17th January 2017 from my home on the southern coast of Spain, where the blue waters of the Alboran Sea washes the coast of Africa and Europe and the smell of the night blooming jasmine and Honeysuckle fills the air…and a crazy old guy and his dog Bella go out for a walk at 4:00am…on the streets of Estepona…

All good stuff....But remember it’s a dangerous world we live in ….. Be safe out there…

Robert McAngus