#i was trying to think of levy's actual personality and like. bro does she have one other than generic ''smart and nice :)''???

[lunas-side-anime-blog]

aot veteran/104 corp icks bc im back on my bullshit

someone requested AOT veteran icks, they didn't specify nsfw or not so I did both and also added sasha connie and jean bc i luv them:) feel free to message/inbox with requests!

(levi, erwin, hange, jean, sasha and connie)

Levi

will visit ur place and organize things without you asking. he'd just be like "ur welcome, now your kitchen makes sense" and ur like sir, I don't know where anything is now??? also he'd def the type to proclaim he's better than you for only getting two hours of sleep when you got four. honestly so many icks come to mind for this one, imma limit it to those two for now (stay tuned lol)

nsfw: tries to be rough with you but forgets his own strength. will try to throw you on the bed, but he does it too hard so you completely miss the bed and fall on the other side of it and he's just standing there like "🧍🏻...my bad."

Erwin

you cannot convince me this man doesn't wear water shoes at the pool. you guys say you want a dilf until you actually get one bc this is the type of shit it entails^^

nsfw: erwin cannot dirty talk for shit. im srry but if you're a lil kinky this isn't the man for you. try to call him daddy and he'd be like "we don't have kids?" and you explain the kink to him and he'd just say, "have you considered therapy?🤨" now he's concerned, boner gone, you feel called out, just go to sleep tbh

Hange

they're def a firm believer in natural deodorant and won't take the graceful hints that it's not working. prob wouldn't chill w them on a hot day is all i'm saying

nsfw: feel like they'd be really good in bed tbh like i'm struggling to think of an ick. hange has big dick energy, weirdos just do it better idk. i think maybe hange would try to spit in your mouth (they a freak) and they have so much and its thick and globby like the back of the throat type spit, your gonna choke bro im gagging as a i type-

Jean

bring back toxic masculinity because Jean's hair care routine is so good to the point he'll call out your split ends, i just know it

nsfw: a fucking chatterbox like his homies know everything. you've walked in on him telling connie in extreme detail how he had you in a full nelson last night while you screamed bloody murder and he doesn't see why ur mad. "babe, if anything i'm bragging about you 😏" fucking idiot istg. also kinda gross but I think he's the type to keep sniffing his fingers after fingering you like well into the next day EWW

Sasha

obvi she can't share for shit so I think she'd be an annoying person to eat out with. like yk when you're with your friends and only one person puts their card down so the rest can Venmo them? I think you can ask her to Venmo 20 and she'd send 15 and say something like "oh I didn't eat as many fries" but she fr did. never puts her card down either so believe it or not? jail.

nsfw: will literally be on her phone mid-sex with you. feel like she'd be really into the subway surfer vids and yeah, you go down on her and look up and she brought her own entertainment? ipad child behavior

Connie

i think he'd say "we" when talking about his fave sports team as if he contributed. like, "really connie, you helped win the superbowl? did you score a touchdown?" grow tf up

nsfw: insane bush on this one, i feel like he doesn't groom for shit and whatever, that's your choice! but I also feel like college-aged modern connie would talk shit about women who weren't bald down there and won't eat it unless it is. HYPOCRITE!! I think when he gets to his mid-twenties tho he'd mature (sasha beat his ass)

[thefandomenchantress]

youre so real bro i think i almost cried during the episode😭😭 im also like completely stuck, because like im in huge denial that uts ace for obvious reasons, and hust. eden makes so much SENSE. but im not sure if she actually does or if its just me being biased so im super conflicted. ofc ill always believe in eden culprit or third party yntil its WITHOUT A DOUBT ace, and probably even then ill still deny it.

ive been trying to come to terms with it but man, this has just hit me oht of left field and i was so unprepared for him to be on the chopping block this early.

and yeahh, that one signular acevid interaction was my one win😭 lowkey hoping they get some more interactions throughout this trial, considering david has been the inly person to defend ace even slightly. as for acevi..yeah, im soo...it was definitely a moment! i think now i defintiely prefer them as a tragedy type relationship, especially on aces part.

I feel so bad for him thi bro he hasnt caught a break all chapter??

Chapter 2 Episode 14 Spoilers! Plus Eden/Ace Culprit discussion.

Pretty much agree with allllll of this. Eden makes more sense as a culprit to me personally, both narratively and logically, but I’m getting really scared for Ace. I was so sure the logic of him taking the tape didn’t make sense that I sorta figured everything else didn’t matter, but now the narrative is treating it like it would possibly make sense so I’m at a loss…Why would he even grab the tape?? I’ve heard every counter-argument known to man and still don’t think any of them explain it…I really wanna ramble about it here but idk if people want to see me do that again, haha. But I guess one thing I will say is that Teruko said they can’t assume the culprit worked logically, so maybe the reason will be that he took it just…because, with no real reason. That would be a little unsatisfying, but I genuinely don’t think any explanation makes sense. (Must contain rant ahhhh—)

As for Acevid, I can at least take comfort in the fact that if Ace actually manages to hold his ground for forty-five minutes, it’s probably because David (plus maybe Levi) is doing most of the talking. Like Min barely lasted twenty minutes, so Ace doubling that all by himself would be very funny and ironic for a ‘dumb’ character to do, but also kinda unlikely.

Ace seems like the type to definitely start falling apart mentally and breaking down reeeeally fast if he’s actually the culprit, so if he is the culprit I’m surprised he’s even made it this far into the trial without any major outbursts not surrounding the almost murder. He was even kinda chill (for his standards) about the Levi debacle, not much yelling at all. But all this is to say if he’s the culprit and Teruko starts grilling him for answers…yeeeeeeah my guess is he’ll end up just panicking or yelling while someone else tries to help or bring up counter-arguments. If he’s not the culprit, maybe he’ll have enough left in him to make some sort of defense by himself (I personally think Levi will try to help either way, though).

This man can indeed not catch a break. After going to a school he didn’t even want to attend, he was kidnapped, put in a killing game, had the person he thought was his friend betray him, almost got murdered, and now is getting blamed for a different murder because he had the misfortune of being almost murdered. Sure, he’s not blameless in it all, but it still really sucks for him. I’m half-expecting him to be revealed to have a version of Teruko-luck down the line if he survives haha.

[my-names-angel-but-im-not-one]

Replaced or not?

Part-1 Part-2 Part-3

For summary n details check out part-1

Pairing: Obey me character x mc!

"I really despise her, she gives me creepy vibes ngl " Dandil said.

"Yeah she's like ugh, if only the brothers had spend time with you they would've seen how much better you are!!" Ebella joined

"But it's a good thing they haven't we get to keep you all to ourselves" Norain said hugging you as you giggled at their clingy behaviour.

Dandil is a demon succubus. Ebella is another demon that holds the sin of greed. And Norain she's another average level envy demon.

I've been friends with them since I came here ..... actually I've been friends with almost all the demons here...diavolo has also praised me for it.

We chatted as our recess bell rang once again.

"what's your class ?" They all mused .

"......... mathematics" i groaned as they did too . They groaned because it's one of the subject we're not together.

My mathematics class go with Satan , Levi , and mammon and unfortunately Run hai. There's only one class i don't have with her and that is magic. The only good thing run hai has done so far is that she's able to bring Levi school......offline.

You sighed as you thought 'i still have Satan thou' but all that went to waste as you saw run hai was sitting beside Satan and was trying so hard to get him to talk. Satan saw you entering the class and eyed you in apology . You understand thou....not like you can do anything. You took and empty seat and sat down and took your notebook out try to do the homework you didn't do at HOL. (Cause like same bro)

"Oi human!! Liste-"

"I don't have any Grimm to spare mammon so you can go"

"The great mammon isn't here to ask for gri-!!"

Before mammon could say anything another person sat behind you.

You tensed and went stiffed bodied as you don't know this demon and you could easily die by his hands . You peeked from under your eyelashes and saw mammon was stiffed bodied as well.

"Lucien...grr" mammon growled at him . Thou unfortunately the professor asked him to go back to his seat. Now Levi , mammon and Satan all were eyeing you like you really are going to die.

"i don't like this..." You muttered under your breathe.

"Oh but I do very much darling~" the said demon beside you smirked and grins showing his sharp canine.

"I'm Lucien ". (This is how he looks)

You tensed . "Ah-i-i didn't meant that about yo-you" you stuttered as you tried to not look at him-

"Look at me when I'm talking to you love~" well damn. You looked from under your lashes and boy were you charmed.......no literally you couldn't move .....you tried but you couldn't he did something you are sure.

'move, move , move damn it MOVE!!'

"HAA-" You breathe in the air as you moved again .

"is something wrong mc?" "Sir i do not feel quite well...maybe I can go early please?"

"yes you may...it must be hard being a human " the professor said with a sympathetic smile and went back to teaching.

You packed your stuff and give a look to Satan . He nodded his head. As you just went to pick up your bag you froze again.

You could see this Lucian guy moving but you could not . You watched in horror as he grabbed you immobile wrist and did something that burner your hand in pain . When he removed his hand to your horror there was a bracelet like mark on your wrist now. (The mark)

"hah hah!" You panted and ran away from RAD and made your way toh HOL.

The main door creaked as you enter . Waiting for you in the hall was Lucifer. 'huh why is he here didn't he have to do sone stupid council work or something '

"MC"

"umm-"

"Don't worry i was already informed about your health , care to explain what happened? Why were you suddenly unwell? Did you ate something bad?"

"What? NO!! What do you think happened? And whatever happened to me is none of your concern ...Run hai is still at RAD you should go back she might need you " you spat at him

'why does he care now huh'

"Of course it is my concern you are under my protection-"

"Yeah so much for protection Whatever" you ignored him and tried to went past him . But he grabbed your wrist.

The same one that had the mark . And it was still hurting .

You howled in pain and Lucifer immediately let go. His eye scanned your wrist and he let out a gasp upon seeing the mark.

"What is the meaning of this?" Suddenly he was in his demon form and you knew that you fucked up . And you fucked up very very bad.

[A/N]: oooohhh we fucked up didn't we ෆ⁠╹⁠ ⁠.̮⁠ ⁠╹⁠���. Also i introduced an oc . The art is not mine thou!!

Comments are appreciated!

Thank you for reading!!

[bra1nw0rmz]

*pokes you in the eyes in a very nice and kind way.* Person that made you plushie god here. (Can I have my children back? You stole dem, gimmy em back ples.) Ur pav biker au thingy I am hyperfictioning on it too much, ty for making me get the sillies from dat. Biker pav awsom. ANND BIKER LEVI ALSO IS COOL, I couldn't leave out my soggy dog core buddy.

Owwwe …… my eye

ALSO HI UM…… using this as an excuse to infodump about my biker au…………. I’m a slight nerd abt motorbikes and It’s pavlevi centred so it’s mostly about them

Levi

- Ok realistically he’d have an A1 licence due to being 18 in Europe which restricts the bikes you can ride which is LAMEEEE!!

- In Czech you have to be 24 to get an A licence, meaning you can ride whatever. But idk that feels like too much of an age jump when everyone else is the same age

- Most other places make it so you have to be 21, so I’ll just use that instead. Levi can be 21 in this au

- I mean honestly I could just get rid of the motorcycle licence tier thing all together

- It’s a modern au but cmonnnn Funger universe does not give a fuck about its youth… but eh it’s whatever

- Prefers bikes around 600-800 cc. Fast !! But not exactly death wish fast…….. I mean kinda but still

- He just likes being able to accelerate fast, he doesn’t speed too much

- The top speed he’ll go is 150-170 km/h but Pav coaxes him in races to go faster

- The type of biker that prefers to go on long drives for hourssssss

- He just likes to go on rides to clear his head :3

- Id say he’d have a Yamaha XJ900 Diversion. But I did think of a Yamaha XJ6 Diversion F too

- either way, a Yamaha fan

- I’m going with the XJ900 tho… but hey, maybe it was his first bike, got an older model for cheap and then after a while of dating Pav he got a XJ6 after persistent bugging to get a faster bike

- XJ6 is still comfy for long rides but lighter and faster… more sporty than touring (They are both sport touring bikes)

- I mean XJ6 is only like 10 km/h faster so still staying with the XJ900

- Coz the XJ900 is FAST, 900cc, a very all around good bike. XJ6 is 600cc but faster due to being lighter and more built for speed.

- And realistically he’d only have the XJ900 bc bro cannot afford 2 bikes!

- He is not made out of money and he is not selling his XJ900 !!!! it’s sentimental !!!!

- got sent to military school as a kid by his bitch ass father, so he’s a little fucked up still

- Lived in a community housing place for a while after military school as he found out his mother died and refused to move back in with his dad

- Lives in a small apartment building now

- It’s really small and Pav keeps coming over for long periods so he’s thinking of moving into a bigger place for the both of them

- Has definitely dabbled into drugs(heroin mainly) before but trying to get clean… the long rides help clear his head

- Works at a gun/hunting shop owned by August

Pav

- All his bikes are 1000cc or more bc he’s actually crazy

- Ofc only owns sport bikes, gives them all names too

- While he does go through a lot of bikes, because he crashes all the time and somehow never gets severely hurt, his go-tos are Honda or Kawasaki bikes

- His favourite and longest owned bike is the Kawasaki Ninja ZX-10R… because she was the fastest Pav owned and he has a death wish

- He named her виктория (viktoria)

- She got into a crash so she’s been sitting in Abella’s shop while Pav saves up to fix her

- Takes his side mirrors off to lane split better

- Was a squid before Levi came around (squids are people who don’t wear protective gear) but still only wears heavy protective wear on night rides when he goes super fast

- During these night rides he so takes his license plate off lmaoooo

- Averages 200-300 km/h on the rides 💀

- Does a lotta bike tricks for fun too

- Served in the military for almost a decade and a half before having to retire for an unknown reason but still getting paid (ooooo mysterious)

- Does odd jobs here and there for extra cash

- But um don’t ask where he gets all the money for his bikes !!!!! He’s super cheap in every other aspect of his life

- He’s milking randoms for their money for alcohol, food, fuel, etc lollll

- Pav has gotten kicked out of apartments a few times in which he would sleep on Daan’s couch at his bar

- the type to stare down cops and purposely speed in front of them so they chase him, always leaves them in the dust bc he drives like a maniac

- Got caught once because he didn’t realise a cop was following him and he stopped for gas

- Got out of the speeding charge by giving the cop a blowjob bc I think that’s hilarious 

- Anything to get outta spending money ig 🔥🔥🔥

- All his bikes struggle to not go over the speed limit so he has to backpack Levi when cruising around town

- Pav complains abt Levi being slow and Levi tells him to shut up lol

- purposely makes his exhausts louder than necessary because he’s definitely compensating for something

Daan

- owns a bar that motorcycle gangs frequent a ton

- It’s not even branded as a biker bar, nor is he a biker, it just naturally became one bc Daan doesn’t give a fuck about appearances and treats everyone the same

- Pav flirts with him constantly purely to try and get free drinks. Daan knows this and ignores him

- Marcoh works as the bouncer there (also a biker)

Abella

- local mechanic !!!! Pav’s go to when he can’t fix his bikes himself

- Pav will drop a completely totalled bike in her workshop and tell her to fix it and Abella will tell him to get the fuck out of her shop

- She also rides a motorcycle, I’m thinking a dirt bike of some kind?

- Definitely owns atleast a few different motorbikes though

- She’s an off road girlie at heart

Karin

- Pav smashed her side window clean off in a drive by after she didn’t let him pass her the road so she’s been trying to track him down for a while now

- just wanted to say her road rage is fucking terrible, you are scared for yours and other people’s lives if she’s behind the wheel

- still a journalist, still has anger issues

O’saa

- Owns an occult shop and rips people off with stupid card readings

- magic and stuff still exists btw, albeit heavily faded, he just overprices everything

- Marina works at the shop

- O’saa hardly even runs the shop tbh, it’s mainly Marina doing it

- He’s off doing fuck knows what

Other thoughts;

Pav has a really good poker face. And Levi is autistic so he just believes everything he says, not a single shred of doubt… and Pav is like… in awe……. He knows he’s good at lying but he’s just… Confused at how fast Levi believes him.

“Can I have a 20, I ran out of money and I need gas, I’ll pay you back.”

“ok”

“…….. this is the 6th time I’ve said that.”

“You said you’ll pay me back”

Pav feels guilty for the first time in his life so he actually does pay Levi back

Pav going on and on abt how much he hates cops (he got a speeding fine) and Daan is getting sick of it so he pulls out a photo of Pav in the military. Pav turns his head and refuses to look at it. He is like totally silent and Daan keeps on trying to get him to look at it and he just turns away more and more… Don’t ask how Daan has that photo

This is how Levi finds out Pav was in the military because Pav never says anything ever abt his life

ANYWAY THERES MORE BUT I FEEL LIKE I LOOK CRAZY RANTING ABT THIS AU SO ILL STOP

[alien-slushie]

I don't get why they make Lucy this quiet, shy, loner, bullied girl. If anyone ever even tried to bully Lucy she's she'd either Talk-No-Jutsu her way into being her BFF or she'd fire right back before ruining them socially, and that's IF Natsu, Erza, or Levy didn't hear about it first and beat that person up!

I don't really mind Lucy being portrayed as a rich girl who wants a normal life, cause that seems pretty believable for her, and I'd love to see someone used to private schools try to adjust to a public school setting, but I feel like Lucy, in the modern world, would act one of two ways about it: Either she tries desperately to hide her family's wealth, or she's super nonchalant about it, so everyone knows but shes so casual about it everyone forgets until she nonchalantly says something like: "I wish i could stay here and go to the beach with you guys, but Dads taking me with him to paris for a buisness deal." Or they go to her house to study and remember "Oh yeah, she lives in a mansion!" And you know if it were anyone else it would come off as bragging but since its Lucy nobody thinks that. [Although, it would also be funny if we gave her the "Fanon Todoroki" treatment, where she's so petty she spends her dad's money on her friends to annoy him, but Lucy's too reasonable to really do that so aside from it being funny it's out of character] Not to mention, Lucy is a social butterfly, she thrives on spending time with her friends and can make some sort of connection with almost anyone. I can see her being super popular, not just because of looks or wealth or grades, but because she's a genuinely nice person.

I don't understand why Natsu is always portrayed as the Hot Jock Bro, or like, smart. Natsu isn't stupid in canon, he's smart but not in the traditional way that people like Lucy or Levy are, he struggles with subjects you would come across in a school environment. I can see him being admired for his looks to some degree, but I feel like Natsu doesn't have the discipline for sports. I can see him playing them to have fun and even be really good at it, but I can't see him having fun in an actual school team. Natsu's that one kid that sleeps in class, struggles with his schoolwork, has undiagnosed ADHD, and yearns for approval. He's the class clown that all the teachers love even though he's not the best student, and the only reason he's not flunking out is because Lucy takes her time to teach him in a way he can actually understand. Natsu is something of an acquired taste, his friends would absolutely adore him, but people outside that circle, I think they would find him really weird. If anything I think he'd have a higher chance of getting bullied than Lucy, and the only reason he wouldn't be would be because he fights back just as viciously.

Note: I know the reason people make Lucy a "nerd" and Natsu the "cool jock" is because people like the nerd×jock trope, and I do too to some extent if its done right, but it just doesn't fit with these two specifically unless you butcher their characters. I feel like for NaLu in particular, the Kind Popular KidxWeird Kid trope would work a lot better for them.

Gray would be really popular in the looks department, but his personality would leave much to be desired. He's kinda rude to anyone that's not in his friend group, and doesn't like dedicating himself to clubs or after school activities where his friends aren't with him. He's introverted to the rest of the world but more open to his closer friends. In terms of grades he could do really, really well, but just doens't. He does enough to pass with Bs to high Cs but while he could get As he just doens't put in the effort. Teacher would be super frustrated with him, because he's really smart but refuses to apply himself, and he talks back. He'd be in detention almost all the time.

Erza would be part of the student council, just not high up. She's strict and follows school rules to the T, and is diligent in her studies. Erza would be a super hard worker, but only have average/slightly above average grades as a whole. She's good at the physical aspects of things, and would be in some sort of sports club, but achedemically is split half and half, she's bad at artistic classes like Language Arts, and Art Class, but is pretty good at Science and Math. She is a bit too strict though, and I feel like other students would be really pissed at her, seeing her as something of narc, but she'd never be bullied because she can and will be the shit out of them, even though she'd also get heavily punished for fighting. Socially she's so straightforward that she'd miss a lot of subtle cues, leading to misunderstandings, but Erza really does just do what she thinks is right and is actually super sensitive even if she's pants at showing it.

Basically: I think they would be 3 mildly hot losers and Lucy, who's trying her hardest to stop her friends from getting expelled for their dumbassary.

People making highschool AUs about fairy tail are always so wrong sorry. Everytime I see one where natsu and gray are these player pretty boys, Lucy is the rich princess transfer student and erza is the straight A class Prez I stare in disbelief because I know the truth.

Natsu is THAT kid, Gray vapes in the bathroom, Lucy is a tired stressed out English student trying her best to fit in but always being dragged into everyone else's bullshit and erza is the class batman who would bodycheck you out of your seat for cheating and thus end up in more trouble then you do + won't stop getting detention for bringing weapons to school.

Besides lucy all of them have grades across the map, gray is an art kid who is ok at most things but cannot bring himself to gaf enough to try, erza is great at gym but sucks at everything that involves writing words and natsu just cannot pay attention for like 5 minutes this man is not built for school.

All in all they are constantly in trouble for something and Lucy is almost always dragged into it somehow that is the true fairy tail highschool AU.

[aromanticasterisms]

oh okay so it’s just a “i’m angy abt levy’s whole treatment and personality” kinda day huh

[astaroth1357]

Demigod MC Series: Poseidon

Fishy fishy fishy… I honestly could write 100 more things for Poseidon MC and Levi. I just love the dynamic between an insecure, otaku shut-in and a chill California surfer dead set on becoming his friend.

Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena, Hades Pt. 2, Poseidon 

For anyone unaware, Poseidon is also the god of horses. I know it's a weird combo, but I didn't write the mythos.

Lucifer

…..

They came out of the portal….

On a horse….

They brought the mortal down to the Devildom…

On a goddamn horse….

There's a demigod on a live horse brandishing a weapon and doing laps around the Student Council Room…

Congratulations, he already wants to pull his hair out!!

Honestly, it would have been preferable to pluck them out of the sea. At least then they'd just need a towel! What the hell were they going to do with an entire horse!?

And his nightmare didn't stop there. Poseidon is a notoriously mercurial god, prone to bouts of anger and spitefulness for reasons far less grievous than kidnapping his children… 

Their apology was swift and (seemingly) effective, though the tide waters around the Devildom did rise by several feet for some time…

As for the MC… uh… Well, they're an energetic one to say the least…

Lucifer hasn't met a more active individual since Mammon. They horseback ride, swim, surf, skateboard, and probably do ten other things - the point is, they Hardly. Keep. Still! 

They're also annoyingly easygoing… He can't count the number of times they've told him to, "Just chill out," or, "Hang loose…" What does that even mean??

Between having to order a stable made for their horse and just trying to keep up with them, Lucifer already thinks this mortal has caused him more trouble than they're worth… At least they keep Mammon busy...

Mammon

Upon first meeting them atop their horse, Sunset, his first thought was of course:

"I wonder if I sell that...?"

After that, they nearly fed him to sharks for trying to take their beloved steed on same night. Safe to say, he never touched a hair on its head again…

These two had a rocky start, but their relationship mended fairly quickly. As it turns out, the MC is literally one of those "go with the flow" types. You can say it was water under the bridge soon enough.

Mammon actually thinks the MC is a hell of a lot of fun, even if they're super laid-back. Most of the time, they won’t take his drive for money (or fear of his bills) all that seriously and tell him that he’s worrying too much, but they’ll still lend a hand if its on their way.

He finds their ability to control water pretty cool as well. Levi has it to some extent, but the MC can make a whole-ass whirlpool or use water like a whip! 

He once begged them to call up some rare fish for him to sell, but they got all pseudo-philosophical on him about how “trading life for material wealth” is “not cool, dude...”

He also made the mistake of challenging them to a splash fight only once…. They managed to drench the whole family with a single wave….

The only thing that bothers him is their weird insistence on being Levi's "Best Buddy…" Why would someone like them even bother with a shut in??

Is it the water? … Probably water. Levi, that lucky bastard…

Leviathan 

Thinks they're a big normie, no scratch that, a HUGE normie! The biggest normie he's ever met!! They skateboard and horseback ride for Devil's sake!!

...But they’re also, undoubtedly, the best friend he could've ever asked for.

To be fair to Levi, their friendship was sort of forced upon him. The MC took one look at him, his aquatic-themed room, and his pet goldfish then declared their new friendship status at that moment. 

Unfortunately for him, though, they're energetic, extroverted, and generally have little understanding of personal space… aka, an introvert's worst nightmare…

The next month could accurately be described as the MC doing everything in their power to make their stubborn "senpai" like them.

They would drag him out to the aquarium, beach, or pool; they befriended Henry so he could put in a good word for them; and they'd even bring him little gifts or trinkets they'd find on the ocean floor. Pretty shells and stuff like a cat bringing its master a dead mouse.

After he finally began to accept them as a persistent fixture in his life, he introduced them to gaming and anime and started accepting them little by little...

By the end of their stay, these two were practically inseparable. Not just because they like spending time together, but because they figured out they could have a telepathic link due to Levi being part sea serpent. 

No matter how far they are, they can always have a chat! (That no one else can hear so people think they’re just crazy...)

Satan

Satan honestly isn't the MC's biggest fan, he generally finds them too loud and gregarious for his liking. But their horse…?

He never really thought that he'd be a horse man... Yet it didn’t really take long for Satan to adore Sunset, their beautiful golden-maned mare. Apparently she's not their only horse, but by far their favorite traveling companion.

Sunset is a wonderful horse - brave, strong, and well-trained. It only took a few weeks before he was regularly sneaking out to the stables to brush her fur or feed her apples...

After the MC taught him how to ride, that was it. All other forms of transportation were inferior to him now.

Satan would ride Sunset everywhere and he looked damn good doing it! It takes all that fairytale Prince Charming thing he has going on and puts it through the roof.

It's a good thing too, because when I say everywhere, I do mean everywhere. Lucifer had to put seals on the House doors to keep Satan from riding Sunset through the hallways...

Of course, he’ll always let the MC have Sunset back when they need her!... with a little complaining but nothing terrible.

The MC doesn't mind much because Sunset likes him and they know he takes good care of her, but the rest of the House is slightly unnerved at how quickly he went horse crazy… What if they brought a giant crab instead?? No one wants to deal with crab-Satan...

Asmodeus 

Their body is just scrumptious. Oh, how he could look at their swimsuit-clad figure all day!! 😩

Between the swimming and the fighting, their form is toned to all hell and he can't get enough of it! Yes baby, yes!! Take those clothes off again!!! He'll help~! 😘

When he's not staring at them “totally respectfully,” then he's inviting them out to pool parties or begging them to take him riding...

There are parts of horseback riding he doesn’t like, the smell and the jostling specifically, but there is a kind of… romance to it, no?

He loves having the chance to snuggle up to the MC as they trot around the Devildom! It's so romantic, like they’re his knight in shining armor! (Or his demigod in a damp swimsuit, either works. 😏)

His Devilgram is just full of selfies of him and MC riding on the back of Sunset or sitting by the edge of the pool or them in the middle of a swim meet…

Yeah his Devilgram is now a one part him and one part MC-Appreciation account.

After the pact he'll eventually cool down some and stop staring at them like a sex-object, but even then he'll be at every swim meet. Don't you worry~

Beelzebub 

He actually really likes them! It's great to finally have another athlete in the House. 😊

The MC joined the RAD swim team just as soon the coach was able to convince Diavolo that having the child of a water god wasn't completely cheating... 

Since swim and fangol practice ends at about the same time, they walk home together a lot and complain about... sports things... (Forgive me, I don’t know sports. Uhm... Rival teams? Coaches? That one drill everyone hates? Stuff like that.)

Beel also can surf, skate, and snowboard so the two have a healthy competition going. They're about on equal footing so they tie often (except in surfing but Beel doesn't think that should count cause they’re probably cheating).

The only thing that he has to watch out for is Sunset… As in, he has to watch himself around Sunset because he absolutely could eat her on accident… 

Look, he doesn't want to and he doesn't even like horse meat that much, but even he has to admit there are times he gets hungry enough to consider it…

Of course, he knows that if he ever did Satan would rip him limb from limb then the MC would drown the rest so he really, really tries to control himself… but still… She’s a very healthy horse...

At least he didn’t try to sell her like Mammon. The MC hung him over a shark tank for that stunt… He’d feel bad, but Mammon kind of had it coming.

Belphegor 

The first time they met, the MC smelled like beach water and called him "dude-bro…" He didn't like his prospects.

For a while, he genuinely thought that they had a lump of sand where their brain was. They were just too chill!! Here he was saying that he's being held captive and they were like, "Well that sucks, man… I'll help ya, but I've got practice tomorrow. You can wait, right?"

It's not like he expected them to jump on top of it, but some urgency would have been nice…

When they eventually got around to helping him, he was actually looking forward to choking the life out of them for the extra wait. Unfortunately, they apparently had a horse…

Yeah, Belphie found out just a bit too late that the MC could summon their steed to them whenever they wanted and ended up with Sunset's hooves firmly bucking into his back for his trouble…

What followed was Belphegor running circles around the attic from the weapon-totting MC riding their terrifying murder horse until Lucifer finally intervened....

Thank the gods he wasn’t near any water….

As it would turn out later, as long as he's not being held captive in an attic Belphie kind of vibes with their laid-backness… They say they approach life "one wave at a time" or something.

He could care less about what that actually means, but what it translates to is "Stop stressing out and just keep chill" which he's all about.

Everybody should just chill out!... dude…. Nah, he'll let them stick to the “dude”-thing, it feels weird...

[bcdwhcre]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CM7CwRZivBM/?igshid=1soaxz00n5171 I CAN GET THE LEVI PART OF THIS REEL OUT OF MY HEAD OH MY GOD. Just imagine the reader being part of Levi's squad, and she's talented but think Levi's condescending towards people, especially to her. The others say she's just imagining it and that the captain is always like that but the reader's always getting into spats with him. "I seriously don't like the position of of being his metaphorical punching bag." he hears her say one day and Levi has enough. As soon as she's free, Levi calls her to his office and they talk. Things escalate in another fight and before she knows it, Levi has her pinned against the wall "Do you like this position?" he says as he kisses her, her neck, her cheeks. As they move towards his desk or bed, he keeps repeating "Do you like this position?" He'll teach her a thing or two, if you catch my drift👀😶. How you end it is up to you! And if you don't want to write it, that's okay!

“Positions,” Levi x Reader

Summary: (bro idk how to summarize this pls.) always bickering with your Captain because you don’t like the way he belittles you and it turns into a bigger argument.

Warnings: Smut!!! towards the end.

Levi x Fem!Reader

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It had been a rough few weeks for the Scouts after finding out about Reiner and Bertholdt and not being able to catch them in time and after coming back from the expedition where the scouts tried to capture them again, leading in many deaths including the Commander, it made things incredibly worse.

It had been two weeks since that incident and everyday since Levi did not take it easy on his cadets and you had felt personally attacked and picked on everyday from him during training or during exercises.

At first it was small, he would tell you to try harder or do a little more. He would claim you were acting lazy, not meeting his standards and that made you catch an attitude with him because you felt like you were doing more than enough.

You were always grateful and appreciative to be under Levi considering how strong and talented he was, you actually learned a lot from him and everyone had known you as “Levi’s Mini” but that didn’t stop him from pushing you harder.

Many times it had led to you bickering with him, which ended up with you cleaning or doing rough work outs around the base to satisfy his needs on teaching you a lesson but you never learned, you continued having arguments with him from left to right.

One day you had been more stressed than usual and Levi picking on you and pushing you during the early morning training session had irritated you way more than it should have and during lunch, you started to rant to your friends at the table.

“Levi is doing this shit on purpose, last week I was cleaning horse shit for days just because I didn’t meet his standards.” You groaned, taking a bite out of your food and they just nodded their heads.

“Well, you did start an argument with him.” Armin said, making you shoot him a glare and he grew quiet as he ate his food.

“I think he just personally hates me, he doesn’t do anything to you guys.” The weight of getting picked out of all the cadets had crushed down on you heavily, almost suffocating you.

“You’re just imagining it, he picks on all of us.” Eren rolled his eyes, bringing up the times Levi has easily beaten him down and kicked him in the face.

“No, I’m not just imagining it.”

It started to grow quiet again, the sounds of chewing and forks hitting the glass plates as all the scouts had eaten their food and after they were done, they stay seated at the table to talk some more before they had to go do what was assigned to them around the base.

Levi was walking down the hallway, about to walk pass the door to the mess hall until he had heard your voice say his name a few times. It caused his curiosity to make him freeze in place and try to listen to the conversation as you rambled and vented about how he was only bullying you out of everyone.

He had rolled his eyes at you throwing a fit over something you had started. You were always the one to talk back to Levi first and start the arguments and he felt the need to put you in your place to know who was superior- it was him.

“I seriously don’t like the position of being his metaphorical punching bag.” You said loud enough that he heard it through the door and it caused his eyebrows to raise in amusement.

“You’re overthinking it, Y/N.” Armin spoke again, making you huff out a breath and continue on about how you weren’t dreaming or overthinking it.

Soon enough the day had went on as it always did. You went around to do was assigned to you including stupid cleaning chores that Levi always insisted that you should do and it only aggravated you more than before.

He had watched you almost all day, making sure you weren’t having another fit but also to wait until you had some time to come to his office and talk to him about your tantrum you threw in the mess hall. Your words had replayed in his mind repeatedly and he was growing impatient.

So Levi had went outside to where you were finishing up, making a dramatic huff leave your lips when you saw him- automatically assuming he was going to rain hell and assign you more pointless things to do.

“I need to speak to you in my office.” He said plainly, making you fully stop and glance over at him before simply nodding your head.

You didn’t want to say anything or start up another argument, you would honestly hate to do so especially when you were in too much heat already from arguing with him the other day so doing it again would only make matters worse.

After you had followed him down to his office and closed the door behind you, his cold stare had burned right through you which made you a bit uneasy inside, afraid what he has plotting inside of his head.

“Honestly, Y/N, I’m getting real sick and tired of your shit.” He wasted no time to say to your face, making you furrow your eyebrows in confusion.

“What the hell did I do this time to have you hate me?” The tone in his voice had already struck a nerve, instantly making you angry.

“You stomp in here and act like you run things when you’re nothing but a cadet. You need to watch that filthy mouth of yours before I tell you to pack your shit and leave.” He practically spat in your face, his words were harsh and brutal but nothing you’ve heard from him before.

“You pick on me every single day and torture me while the others get to do what they want. How the fuck is that fair?”

The bickering between you two had gone back and forth for minutes, the two of you shooting daggers at each other through words and it only made things heat up in seconds. Both of you were fed up with each other and it was evident that Levi wanted to kick you down on the floor and remind you who is the Captain and who is the Cadet in the situation.

He never grew so frustrated over a cadet before, he’s taught plenty of people and had plenty under his team but you were something else. He looked at you as some spoiled brat who thinks they can get want they want in a blink of an eye.

He sighed under his breath, bringing up his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose and soon stood from his seat. You stood across the office, angry and upset again over something so small and stupid- just because your Captain felt the need to remind you of your position.

But this time Levi had enough of your attitude and your bickering and complaining, it was tiring to hear it every single day over the smallest things and it was clear that cleaning and doing harsh exercises wasn’t going to teach you a lesson you needed to be taught.

He had walked over to where you stood, the both of you the same height so it was easy for him to look straight ahead at you and stare right through you, making you grow uneasy again but on the outside you kept that cold look like he does.

He was quick to shove you against the wall behind you, his hand grabbing a hold of your chin and keeping you in place as a soft unexpected gasp left your lips from the impact. You were a bit stunned for a second, your wide eyes staring into his dark ones and a small smirk had appeared on his face.

“Do you like this position instead?” He mumbled, referring to what you had said earlier in the mess hall and it made you realize he had heard your pointless rant.

He didn’t wait for you to answer his question, instead he smashed his lips on yours. The kiss was rough at first, Levi wanting to show dominance and teach you a lesson or two about talking back and bickering with him constantly.

When you tried to move your hands up to wrap around his neck, his hands were quick to grab yours and pin them against the wall above your head. He wasn’t going to let things slide so easily and let you do what you want in this specific situation, not on his watch.

“Or do you like this position?” His words were muffled against your swollen lips, almost whining in his mouth as he practically devoured you.

He was still pissed off at you, he was mad to the point where he knew after this- you probably wouldn’t be able to do chores or training tomorrow. Eventually he had pulled back from your mouth, licking his own lips and yanking you off the wall while remaining a tight grip on your wrists.

His feet had moved, pulling you with him all the way to his desk and threw stuff off to bend you over it, pressing the side of your face down on the hard wood. He was over taking it easy on you and over trying to reason with your sour attitude everyday. A simple few kicks to the face worked for Eren yet with you, no matter what happens, you always continue to fight with him.

He had looked over at the uniform that you wore, grabbing the waistband of your pants and tugging them down in an instant, letting it pool around your ankles for the time being as he kept one hand holding your wrists behind your back and the other hand hovering over your ass.

“Or do you like this position, brat?” He said quietly, his eyes shooting down and looking at yours as your face began to get flustered.

“Levi,” You had started to say but once his name had slipped out of your mouth, he instantly raised his hand and brought it down on your bare skin, making your body jolt against the desk.

“Try again.”

“Captain.” You barely managed to stutter out, your skin burning from the impact but he was rubbing his hand over it, soothing it over.

You were stunned at what was happening inside of his office right now. Just a moment ago you two were arguing and just an hour ago you two hated each other and you were stuck doing chores because you had talked back to him and now you were bent over his desk.

You weren’t really complaining but it was hard to wrap your head around it when you two have always bickered and fought with one another over the smallest things.

Levi’s sudden actions of pulling you up off the desk and forcing you to face him, his hand grabbing your chin and forced you to connect eyes with him as a small smirk appeared on his face at how red and flustered yours was.

He didn’t even say a word, instead he reached up to undo the tie around his neck and removed it, his eyes never leaving yours and soon enough he was ripping your uniform off your body until you were bare and naked in front of his eyes.

“All that crap you were talking earlier today about how I put you in a position of being my personal punching bag and now...” He trailed off, the snarky attitude in his voice as his hands grabbed yours and tied them behind your back with his tie.

“I’m actually going to put you in a position where you’ll be my punching bag all night long and we’ll see how long you last, hm?” He had tried to not chuckle or laugh but he couldn’t help the fact that he wanted to.

You didn’t even bother to say a word to him, you stayed quiet as he tied your wrists together and turned you back around and bent over his desk in front of him. He had hummed to himself at the sight of you, something he had been imagining to himself for quite some time.

Levi had licked his lips again, spreading your legs apart with his leg and looked down at the hand print that was clearly visible on your skin from a moment ago and it had made him raise his hand to lay down another smack to your already sensitive skin. You had jolted forward again, a yelp slipping out.

He groaned under his breath, trying to hold himself back from taking you the way he wanted to right now. He wanted to take his time with you and teach you a lesson with the smart attitude you always have but the way you looked, you being completely submissive and weak before him, it made him grow weak himself.

He yanked your body up by the tie around your wrists and tugged you towards his bedroom that was connected to his office, kicking the door shut behind him and pushing you down on the bed on your back. He had adjusted the tie to move your arms above your head and tied to the headboard.

“How about this? Do you like this position?” He mumbled, his lips trailing sloppy kisses from your jawline down to your neck.

His movements had made you squirm beneath his body and soft breaths had left your lips, feeling yourself grow more impatient every minute that passes but Levi didn’t mind taking all night to prove his point to you, everything goes his way.

His fingers had brushed along your bare skin, dragging all the way down to your thigh before he firmly grabbed onto it and squeezed it all while his teeth were biting your neck, leaving multiple bite marks and bruises on your soft skin.

It was slowly starting to get unbearable to handle, the more time passed, the more impatient you got and tried to move your body as close to his as possible even if your wrists were tied up. He noticed your desperate attempts for more of his touch and it had made his big ego grow more, knowing what he was doing to you was going the way he wanted it to.

“Whats wrong? You want more, brat?” He taunted you, teasing you with a big smirk on his lips and you groaned under your breath, your eyes moving away from his but he was quick to grab your chin and force you to look up at him.

“Tell me, do you deserve to be touched after everything you’ve done the last few weeks? Do you deserve to be fucked like a good girl?” His voice was low and quiet but it was clear enough to hear every word he had said.

Slowly, you begin to nod your head, trying to move your hands but realizing they were still tied together and that only frustrated you more but he was set on making you learn and set on torturing you for testing his patience everyday.

“I’ll do anything.” You mumbled, making his eyebrows raise in amusement and curiosity at the same time.

“Anything? Like what, hm?” He was intrigued to hear any offers you had plotted inside your head but honestly, you had none- you just wanted the teasing to be over with.

It grew quiet again, you didn’t know what to say next and he had caught on to what you were trying to do. His hand had let go of your chin, trailing back down your naked body until he had decided to dip his hand between your legs and get a feel for himself, wanting to see just how bad you wanted it, just how far you can go.

It wasn’t long till his rough fingers were rubbing soft circles on your clit, his eyes burning into yours while his tongue had brushed over his dry lips. He could feel just how desperate you were and how badly you wanted to be touched down there, it fueled something inside of him to take it further but he wanted to test your limits.

You had roughly tugged at the tie that was around yours wrists, the headboard creaking in the process and he started to chuckle under his breath, pressing his fingers against you more firmly, making sure you felt every little touch. You had tried to pry your legs shut, that only made Levi push them back open as he settled between them.

“I want to hear you beg or else I could do this all night, pleasuring you to the brink of cumming and pulling away till you’re in tears.” You couldn’t believe just how casual and soft his voice was, the amused look on his face had turned into a more serious one.

A lump had started to form in your throat, stunned and not knowing what to really say. You were so far into your own thoughts that you didn’t realize he had gotten down to bury his face between your legs, his tongue licking a stripe up through your folds, making a sudden moan slip out of your mouth and his eyes had moved to look into yours when you met his gaze.

“I’m waiting or do you want me to stop?” He tilted his head, sinking his teeth into your thigh gently, making you buck your hips up out of impulse.

The stubbornness you had was glued to the front of your brain, you hated to give him exactly what he wanted- it’ll only feed onto his superior ego more but the way he was working you and the way you were practically desperate for any sort of touch from him, you knew you had to do it his way to get your way. A soft huff escaped your lips, tilting your head down to stare into his lustful eyes.

“Please, Captain.” You started to speak, watching his eyebrows raise and the amusement plastered on his face as he squeezed onto your thighs, waiting for you to continue.

“I’ll do anything just for you to fuck me. Please stop teasing.” The sudden whine that slipped out of your parted lips had made him almost throb, his skin growing hot and his fingertips digging into your skin.

“Hm, I guess you’ve been through enough teasing huh brat?” He slowly started to trail kisses back up your body until he was fully hovered over you again, his free hand caressing your cheek.

“But let’s not forget I’m here to teach you a lesson on talking back to me.”

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I made this long enough so I’m splitting this into 2 parts. Here’s the first one. Sorry for being so absent and distant. Everything had gone to hell after losing my childhood dog and school is almost over so finals and all this crazy shit but I’m trying.

I love and miss y’all <3

• Main Masterlist •

• AOT Masterlist •

[ded-space]

A Stray Puppy, Can We Keep It?? (GN!Teen!MC!) Ft. The OM! Bro's

Reblogging Perms ✅

*You and the bro's (except Lucifer who's with Diavolo) were walking home from School when they hear a soft whimper*

Mammon:GAhh! Oi! Who's there! *Takes Stance*

Satan: Sigh.. It sounds like a small animal.

Asmo: Oou! I hope it's a cute one!

Beel: Is it tasty?

Belphie: I don't think so.. Beel.

Levi: Eer- It sounds like it's coming from that alleyway..

Mc: Let's investigate! *You look down the alleyway and see a small puppy in a box"

Satan: By the looks of it it's been here a while..

Asmo: I bet it would clean up nice! :D

Mammon: What're we gonna do 'bout it?

Levi: Of course we have to take care of it!

Belphie: We don't have to.

Beel: But we should.

Mc: Let's try and convince Lucifer to keep her!

Beel: How do you know it's a- *Hand covers his mouth*

Belphie: You will learn in anatomy class next semester..

Satan: Hmm.. Mc, I believe you would have the best shot at getting Lucifer's approval. I think you should be the one to talk to him about it.

Mc: Me!?

Asmo: Yep! It's because he's crushing on you!

Mammon: Tsk!

Levi: Hm Hm! Stupid Mammon is also!

Mammon: Shuddup! Dumb Otaku! Ya like Mc too!

Levi: EEhhh!? *Blushies*

Asmo: Ouu! He didn't deny it! Things are getting interesting!

Belphie: And nowhere..

Beel: *Found some jerky in his pocket*

Satan: I agree, *snatches the jerky from Beel* She's Probably hungry. *offers out the food to the puppy*

Belphie: *Pats pouting Beel on back* It'll be alright we have more at home.

Beel: Mm 😔

Mammon: Won't it bite ya?

Levi: W-why would she, we're feeding her?

Asmo: If she's scared, it's possible that she might bite.

*The puppy crawls out of the box, inching towards the offering*

Satan: Despite being more of a cat person myself, I must say this puppy is quite cute.

Levi: I-I think she has a bit of a limp?

Asmo: Poor thing!

Belphie: She might be too tired to walk properly.

Beel: Mm Let's hope she's not injured.

*The puppy begins to naw on the jerky*

Mammon: So what're we gonna call 'er?

Asmo: Oou! How about Jem!

Beel: Bisquit!

Levi: Ruri!

Belphie: Athena?

Satan: Hinata?

Mammon: Ellie!

Mc: Those are all good names! How about we do a draw!

(A/N:I actually put the names into a randomizer)

Mc: Athena wins! So we'll call her Athena!

Asmo: She looks cold..

Satan: You're right.. Mammon, Give me your jacket.

Mammon: What!? Why mine!?

Belphie: Sigh, just give it to him Mammon.

Levi: *Chuckles*

Mammon: *Looks to Mc* Grr.. Fine. *Hands Satan his jacket.* Tsk.

Satan: *Wraps Athena in Mammon's jacket*

Beel: Can we go home now?

Asmo: Yes! Let's!

*Everyone (Except Lucifer) gets home*

Satan: Asmo would you please get the shower running?

Asmo: Sure!

Satan: Beel and Belphie, will you two go out and try to find some dog food for Athena.

Beel: Mm.

Belphie: Argh I'm tired but I guess..

Satan: Mammon, will you help out in cleaning her off?

Mammon: Yeah, aight.

Satan: Levi, since you found using Mammons jaket so funny earlier would you throw it in the wash?

Levi: Fine-

Mc: I'll start thinking about how to approach Lucifer about this.

Satan: Good Idea.

*Everyone except Lucifer meets back up in the common room in preparation for his arrival*

*Athena is clean and groomed. Beel and Belphie are back with the dog food.*

*Click-Click, the door unlocks*

Lucifer: *Walks in* Why are you all gathered here?

Mc: We made a friend on our way home from school! *Holds up Athena, who's wagging her tail*

Lucifer: She's very cute, who does she belong to?

Mc: ..She was abandoned.. Please Lucifer can we keep her!? Athena is the sweetest! And We'll take good care of her!

Lucifer: You already named her!?

Mc: Yeah, we did a draw. Belphie chose the name, I think it suits her.

Lucifer: I don't think my brothers can handle the responsibility that comes with having a pet.. Just think about what happened to Henry 1.0..

Levi: T-that's different!

Mc: The 7 of us can split the responsibility and i'll make sure she's taken care of so please! We all worked together to take care of her just now! Satan, Asmo, and Mammon all washed and groomed her! Beel and Belphie went out and got her food! Levi washed Mammon's jacket and I played with her while we waited for you to get home!

Lucifer: Why did Levi have to wash Mammon's.. I suppose it's irrelevant.

Everyone: *Puppy dog eyes (Even Satan)*

Lucifer: ..Eer- Very well! However, if I find out she's not being well taken care of she is going to be put up for adoption! You're lucky I'm a dog person..

Everyone: Thank You Lucifer!

Mc: *You give Lucifer the biggest hug!*

Asmo: Is Lucifer blushing!?

Lucifer: N-No I'M NOT

Mammon: *Click* *Flash*

Lucifer: MAMMONN!!

Mammon: EEK!

Levi: HEHEHEH

Satan: Pfft-

Beel: MUNCH *He ate all the dog food while everyone was talking*

Belphie: ZzZzzZZ *Fell asleep*

Athena: ARRF! 🐶 *snuggles Lucifer's leg*

A Month Later;

*Athena follows everyone around, marching behind people cutely*

Mammon: *Taught Athena some tricks, how to play dead, roll over, and shake! Fetch.. is a work in progress..*

Beel: *Now has a little friend to share leftovers with*

Asmo: *Put's little accessories and outfits on Athena, He's constantly pampering her.*

Lucifer: *Enjoys when Athena lays on his lap as he watches TV or does paperwork. It's a very cute sight.*

Belphie: *Athena likes to take naps with Belphie*

Satan: *Likes taking Athena to different dog parks, sometimes with Mammon so they can play*

Levi: *Athena likes to tap keys on his gaming pc, it's all cute, fun and games until he loses his save..*

Requested by: @dexpairs-blog

����🎉🎉50th post!🎉🎉🎉

[anenbylittlepotato]

What are the reactions of the demon brothers to MC's pet bunny who gives bunny kisses to the brothers?

Aww, this is so cute! 🥺

The Demon Bros with MC's Pet Bunny

Lucifer

When he first sees MC's bunny he just groans. He has to take care of a human and a bunny now?! Why doesn't Diavolo tell him these things?!

He just sighs and takes a moment to make peace with the fact that he'll just have to buy bunny food for the next year... Right...?

NOPE. Turns out taking care of a bunny is much more work than it seems, as MC explains to him. Great...

So uh... Yeah, safe to say that he has nothing but burning hatred for this bunny at first. Stop causing him so much more work dammit.

But honestly, who could conceivably stay mad at a bunny for long? They're so round and soft and fluffy and adorable. Even Lucifer, the almighty himself, isn't immune to a bunny's charms.

Eventually, the tiny little thing grows on him. He never lets any of his brothers see, but he'll occasionally slip the bunny a little treat or two, and sometimes he'll set the bunny on his desk while he works so he can reach over and pet her occasionally. And one time when he was sitting on the couch while his brothers were away and he was so stressed out to the point that he was almost tempted to bash his head against a wall, the little thing came up to him and just??? Puts her tiny little paws on his foot??? And looked up at him with those big round eyes, nose twitching and ears perked??? Almost like she was concerned for him??? Oh, he's in love. Now every time he's stressed out like that, he seeks out your bunny for comfort.

But then??? One day??? The bunny??? Gives him little bunny kisses??? Oh, he melts. This man is fucking putty. He's weak.

Please, this man loves your bunny. But of course, he never shows it around his brothers. And he rarely shows it around you. It's just a him and the bunny thing. No one else needs to know.

Mammon

The moment this man sees your bunny for the first time he's in love. Love at first sight is real, my dudes.

But she's just so??? Small??? And round??? And fluffy??? And cute??? How could you NOT love such a thing, honestly?

He still complains when he has to take care of you, but he's still really excited about your bunny.

This man,,, spoils the hell out of your bunny. He's constantly smothering her with love, and he constantly gives her little treats and gives her carrots and lettuce and any little snacks that she likes. And he lets her up on the couch and he holds her in his lap. He's adopted your bunny. That's his bunny now.

And when the bunny gives him little bunny kisses? He's dead. His heart spontaneously combusts right then and there. He didn't think he could love this bunny any more than he did, but then it happened. Please, bunny, you're going to be the death of him.

He definitely doesn't let his brothers see how much he loves this bunny though. He knows they would endlessly hound on him for it.

Leviathan

Honestly? He's definitely not very fond of your bunny when he first sees her. Sorry, but he's much more privy to reptilian and aquatic animals. Land mammals aren't really his thing.

They're just so... Weird to him, honestly. Those big weird eyes, the fact that they're completely covered in fuzz as if they're a moldy piece of food, their weird nails and their weird little noses. They freak him out.

So yeah, definitely not a fan of the bunny. He avoids her at all costs. Every time the bunny comes near him or touches him in any way, he's immediately in his demon form and leaps to the other side of the room, moving faster than anyone's ever seen him move in his life. Get that thing away from him-

His brothers find this so damn amusing. Especially Mammon. Mammon constantly pulls pranks on Levi that involve the bunny (though, of course, bunny-safe pranks, he doesn't want it getting hurt-) and teases him relentlessly about it.

One day you go over to Levi and gently try to convince Levi to at least try to bond with your bunny. It takes a lot of convincing and bribing, but he finally agrees. So you take him over to the bunny and sit down in front of her with him. Levi is shaking like a fucking leaf as you grab his arm and hold it out to the bunny. He jumps and lets out a small yelp as the bunny steps forward to sniff his hand. And he's whimpering and shaking when the bunny moves even closer to him and???? Climbs into his lap??? He's he is frozen with fear at this point. He doesn't know what to do, MC, help him. When you tell him the bunny likes him, he just really shook. It likes him??? A yucky, gross otaku like him???

And then, when it gives him bunny kisses???? MC has to explain what it's doing but when he understands he's just??? In shock.

There's no way he could hate the bunny after that. He finds solidarity with the bunny after that.

Satan

Satan is a cat person, through and through. However, this absolutely does not mean he'll stick up his nose to other furry, four-legged friends. Quite the contrary, he likes them too. Make no mistake, cats are and always will be his go-to, but that he still likes other animals too. He's flexible with his love.

So, safe to say, when he sees your bunny, he gets quite excited. Are you gonna help him annoy Lucifer, little girl? Are you?

He's also really excited to use all of his reading knowledge to help take care of the bunny. He knows exactly what the bunny needs and helps you pick out the things that would be best for her.

Sometimes, when he's reading, your bunny will walk up to him and, without looking up from his book, he'll reach over and gently stroke her ears. Though he has to keep the bunny out of his room because she loves to nibble the books.

He doesn't really care about letting his brothers know he likes the bunny. He's not embarrassed by his love of animals.

Asmodeus

He adores your bunny. She's just so cute! Though don't put her on him, it'll get hair on his new outfit!

This man takes so many Devilgram pics of and with this bunny. His fans love her! And he even gets cute little outfits for her! And he grooms her soft fur and gives her cute little bows! One day he tried to give her a bath, not knowing the dangers. Luckily, MC and Satan managed to stop him before it was too late. Please don't bathe your bunnies in water unless your vet tells you to, it's very bad for them

Seriously tho, this man gives your bunny some little bunny spa days. He pampers your bunny. Asmo, please, she doesn't need her nails painted, she's a bunny. And did... Did you seriously put cucumbers on her eyes??? She's gonna eat them-

But when she gives him bunny kisses? Oh, she's so cute, oh my goodness! He absolutely has to get as many pictures of this moment as he can! It's just too precious not to post all over Devilgram! His fans are going to adore this!! And he was right, too, as it ends up being one of his most popular posts.

And he's never been shy about showing his affections toward you around others why would he be shy about showing affection to your bunny?

Beelzebub

When he first saw her, he may or may not have thought about eating her-

But don't worry, he managed to resist.

Honestly, he doesn't really mind the bunny too much aside from the occasional thought about eating her. He never really pays much attention to her at first except when he's really hungry.

But as he gets closer to you and starts spending more time with her in turn, and he comes to like her. She's really cute. Just like you!

Sometimes she'll come up to him while he's eating and he'll drop her the occasional leaf or carrot piece. And she really likes to crawl into his lap and just peek out at everyone. And he really likes to touch her soft fur. Sometimes the bunny follows him around. I think she feels safest with him out of all of the brothers. Which... Fair enough, honestly.

And when she gave him bunny kisses? Oh, the little large pure boi was so happy and excited. MC, look, she likes him!! Are you looking, MC?

He's never been the most secretive when it comes to his feelings, so he doesn't really mind showing affection to the bunny around his brothers.

Belphegor

Haha, he's in the attic what are you talking about-

Nah, nah, jk, he still sees your bunny after he's out of the attic.

And honestly, he's chill with her. He literally doesn't care that much.

Though he does like how soft her fur is... Do you wanna be one of his nap buddies, little bunny?

Apparently, the answer is yes because whenever Belphie is taking a nap, she hops over and makes herself comfortable beside him. Hey, he's not complaining one bit. She's soft and that's all that matters. Actually, whenever the bunny wants to sleep, she wanders over to Belphie and settles down beside him. She seems to see him as just as much of a good nap buddy as he does to her.

And when she gives him little bunny kisses? Honestly, he's more surprised than anything. He does think it's cute, sure, but he kinda just blinks at her a few times in surprise. Then he chuckles a little and pets her head.

And this man couldn't possibly care less about showing affection towards the bunny around his brothers. He gives zero fucks.

==

That took way longer to write than it should have. It probably would have been done faster if I had the ability to not procrastinate 😔

[afrival]

AOT Characters When Drinking HCs

My friend and I were talking the other day and made some HCs about the AOT characters when they’re drunk— I shall share a them here 😎🤙

cw// alcohol, vomit

modern au shit so this like doesn’t apply season 4 characterization

The 104th Gang

Eren:

- Angry drunk

- To quote my friend, you would say something around him and he's just "ohmmy GODDD shutttt the fuck UP”

- It literally doesn’t matter what you say he will tell you to shut up

- Picks fights for no fucking reason, especially with Jean

- If they’re out to drink he would start a fight with a stranger

- Mikasa literally has to drag him away from fights

- Probably drinks too much and vomits for HOURS and then brags about how high his alcohol tolerance is

- Claims he doesn’t get hangovers but everybody knows he’s lying because he will absolutely just zone out of every conversation the next day

- Always looks like he is on the verge of vomiting again

Mikasa:

- Does not drink because she has to babysit Eren

- However when she does she does not drink a lot

- Probably gets like really flustered and embarrassed, maybe a little touchy b/c her head hurts or something

- Like she’ll lay her head on Sasha’s shoulder meanwhile Eren and Jean are yelling at each other in the background

- Does get a hangover but usually it’s just a headache and she’ll be EXHAUSTED

Armin:

- COMPLETE fucking lightweight oh my god

- Do not give this man alcohol he will absolutely get wrecked

- One glass of wine is probably enough to get him tipsy

- I can’t decide if he would be the kind of person that gets really emotional and cries about everything or if he would go on long drunken rants about the most random shit

- Probably both

- Like he would be crying about the fact that he learned about otters having a favorite rock or this REALLY round corgi he saw last weak and it was just too cute

- Mikasa has to babysit both Eren and Armin whenever he drinks because Eren will absolutely try and drag Armin into his fights

- And with the drunken courage he has Armin would absolutely join in by yelling or hyping Eren up

- He becomes such an enabler

- Would have a hangover if he didn’t pass the fuck out and sleep the entire next day

Connie and Sasha:

- Two for one deal, they are always hanging out whenever they drink

- They’re the most CHAOTIC fucking duo ever, like they would somehow get their hands on a bunch of firecrackers and let loose

- Sasha would probably try and talk to any animals near by

- Connie would be laughing and saying shit like “SASHA the dog can’t fuckin’ talk back 🙄”

- They spend their hangovers bitching and whining about how much it hurts

- Probably would wrap themselves up in blankets in a dark room and snacks and spend the whole day just waiting it out

Jean:

- Same thing as Eren

- Except he also gets more flirty, but it’s not good and usually he ends up embarrassing himself and scaring away the girl he was talk to

- Finds Connie and Sasha and joins them on their shenanigans if he ain’t arguing with Eren

- Probably claims he has really good ideas and then next thing you know all three of them are in a police station and it’s definitely his fault

- “What the fuck made you think taking that woman’s dog was okay”

- “It looked SAD, Connie! And Sasha helped me!”

- “NO—“

- Spends his hangover day with Sasha and Connie

Historia:

- The most giggly fucking drunk you will ever meet

- Laughs at EVERYTHING and asks really dumb questions because suddenly she just has one brain cell

- Also a lightweight just not as bad as Armin

- Ymir has to babysit her and then when Ymir is drunk is the other way around

- They take good care of each other

- Ymir thinks she’s the most adorable thing ever and probably gives into every dumbass request Historia makes

- “Ymir! Let’s go out to eat!”

- “Hist, it’s 2am.”

- “So? There’s someplace open somewhere!”

- “...Fine.”

- Also sleeps her hangover off but Ymir has some water and pain meds ready for whenever she wakes up

Ymir:

- Oh dear lord she becomes very cocky and flirty

- Hangs off Historia’s shoulders the whole time and absolutely starts a fight with whoever looks at her gf

- Eren tried to fight her once and he got his shit beat

- The next day she would be so dramatic about how much pain she’s in just to get Historia to pay attention to her

- And ofc Historia always does < 3

The Warriors:

Reiner:

- Mans becomes such a an emotional bro

- Like he will throw an arm around literally anyone and go off about how much he just thinks they’re the darndest thing

- “Bert have I ever told you how great you are?”

- “All the time. Like a lot. You’ve said it 12 times in the last 10 minutes. Are you okay?”

- Completely denies it happened the next day and pretend he doesn’t feel like shit

- Bertholdt would find him dead to the world on the couch in some weird ass position and then force him to get up and go to bed

- “Dude you smell like ass.”

- “Shut up and just get me some water please.”

Bertholdt:

- Does not drink a lot at all especially around the 104th

- He has to make sure nobody fucking dies, especially Reiner and Annie

- He would have a beer or five with Reiner every so often and then he’s like really clingy and cuddly

- He’s embarrassed about it the next day and also pretends he never got hammered

- Sometimes one of the 104th will walk into their house and Bertholdt would be squished betweeen the fridge and the counter

- He has somehow made his way into the kitchen and will just fall asleep it the weirdest fucking places

- Reiner leaves him there because he feels to bad to move him when he looks strangely comfortable all twisted

- Whenever he and Reiner drink together they will send drunk snaps to their friends

- “Bertholdt just messaged me???”

- “Is he with Reiner?”

- “Yeah I think s— oh no.”

Annie:

- Doesn’t drink a lot either but when she does she also tries to start fights with people

- It never works out and she ends up having really deep and heartfelt conversations with them

- Like I imagine her trying to fight Armin and he’s just shaking I’m his boots and then she just stops and says

- “Ya know, sometimes I get really sad...”

- And so begins the start of their friendship

- For all the AruAni shippers I feel like she would be really protective of Armin and make sure nobody starts anything with him

- Or if they’re with Eren and the gang she will throw hands with Eren if he tries to drag Armin into his disputes

- She also probably hangs around Mikasa to make sure she’s okay and to pretend to hate it whenever Mikasa lays on her shoulder or thigh because she feels sick

- Banysits Reiner and Bertholdt whenever they’re drinking together, and then bullies the fuck out of them the next day

- “You guys are dumbasses.”

- “It was REINER’S idea!”

The Veterans-

Levi:

- DOES NOT DRINK even though he absolutely would

- He like becomes such a fucking mom lowkey especially whenever the kids are getting out of hand

- He’s dealing with a bunch of toddlers plus Hange and Erwin come on

- “Don’t touch that.”

- “Put that down.”

- “Quit yelling.”

- He never offer to clean them up or get them anything because that’s disgusting, however he does make sure everybody is at okay before leaving

- Like that they’re all breathing or nobody is missing

- After that he’s out and then the next day he just stares at them like the most disappointed parent ever

- He tolerates Hange and Erwin a little more, like they both get clingy and he actually lets them just hang off of him or something even tho he hates it

- Would probably hold Hange’s hair back if she throws up, or at least make sure it’s tied up. He has to resist the urge to vomit himself because he just cannot handle it at all

- But then he would just leave her on the bathroom floor asleep

Erwin:

- Oh boy he probably gets so emotional

- The complete opposite of his usual personality it’s so fucking funny

- Will cry about anything and once again like Reiner and Hange will talk about how great you are

- Doesn’t remember SHIT the next day and literally has no clue he acts like this and refuses to believe it whenever somebody tells him

- Hange recorded it once and he just “😐 Delete that, please.”

- Hangs around Levi and is very grateful that he lets Erwin be an annoyance

Hange:

- Tells the kids to be careful with alcohol and then immediately is found face down in a bush

- She becomes like 10 times more bubbly and absolutely batshit

- Laughs really loudly at everything

- She and Armin would get into excited like half conversations about fun science facts or whatever

- Like they absolutely geek the fuck out

- She also probably goes off about how much she loves everyone

- “LEVIIIIII!!! You’re so WOMDERFUL!”

- “Thanks. Now get off of me, bitch.”

- Levi has to babysit her and Erwin LMAO he’s the designated driver every single time

- Always knows the perfect cure for a hangover so she doesn’t usually have a really bad one

This turned out A LOT longer than I thought it would be, oops! Anyway I love doing these so I’m gonna start making more. I will probably do a lot for AOT and Hetalia so 😗✌️ prepare for cringe

[immasock]

hello hi!

can i get obey me bros with female reader, who has a really long hair and she has problems with making hairstyles?

┌(★ｏ☆)┘

Of course! I’ve got some female friends with this problem

I really hope you like it! I feel like I kinda rushed belphies part but hopefully it’s good

Pronouns: She/Her

The brothers with an MC who has really long hair that she has trouble styling

Lucifer:

First things first

He loves your hair

He loves to run his fingers through it while you’re on his lap when he’s at his desk doing his copious amounts of paperwork

Or during those rare moments when you’re both in bed together cuddling

He loves it best when it’s down

Don’t get me wrong

He love your hair no matter how you style it

He can just play with it best when it’s down

That being said he does think it’s kind of cute when you don’t know what to do with it

I feel like he was one of the ones who helped Lilith do her hair in the celestial realm so I think he has at least a basic understanding of a few different feminine hairstyles

Meaning that if you get a little frustrated when you’re trying to figure out how to tame your hair

He will gladly offer to help

Honestly I think he really enjoys doing your hair when you allow him to

It’s kinda relaxing for both of you

Mammon:

Mammon also really likes your hair

Like

A lot

When you two are snuggling on the couch in either of your rooms during one of your many movie nights, he loves to braid little pieces of your hair

It’s not hard so it’s something that he can do absentmindedly while watching whichever movie you guys decided to watch that night

Plus he thinks it looks really good on you

I fully believe that he was also one of the ones that helped with Lilith’s hair a lot when they were growing up

He takes his job as older brother very seriously

And he’s a model so while he may not have to have his hair done like that, he does have a lot of female models he works with

So he is probably one of the better options if you want to go to someone for advice on how to deal with your hair

Leviathan:

I’m gonna be honest with you

Do not go to Levi if you need help with your hair

He’s not completely ignorant when it comes to feminine hairstyle since he does have a little sister

But most of his knowledge on the subject comes from the weird styles he sees in whatever new anime he’s hyperfixated on at the moment

Meaning that if you ask him how you should do your hair he’s probably going to, very excitedly, send you a bunch of pictures of anime girls he’s simping over

He knows how to do hair

He canonically cosplays so he’s styled wigs before

He just doesn’t know how to do normal, basic hairstyles

Satan:

He is another one who is in love with your hair

His favorite thing to do is to be on his bed or on a couch with your head on his lap so he can stroke your hair as he’s reading

Its kinda like petting a cat

Original I know

Anyways

He never knew Lilith and he doesn’t have any other important female in his life

Besides you

I feel like he started reading a bunch of barber and hairstyle books as soon as he found out you were having trouble deciding on what to do with your hair

So I think he’s got feminine hairstyling down

On paper that is

He’s got the theory down but actually trying it out is a whole other issue

He’s not very good at it

He pulls too hard when he’s brushing it out or when he’s trying to move a piece of hair somewhere and he just can never get it to look quite right

He gives up pretty quickly so that you don’t have to see him get angry

He may or may not borrow one of Levi’s longer wigs to practice on tho

Asmo:

He wishes he had your hair

Seriously

He loves how long and beautiful it is

He loves doing hair masks with you on his mandatory spa days to keep your hair nice and healthy and shiny

He loves to play with it too of course

It’s so soft and he just adores it

Of course he adores every part of you

But your hair is just so pretty he can’t help himself

He is definitely the best person to go to for help

He loves trying out a bunch of different hairstyles he saw on Devilgram on you

It’s almost therapeutic honestly

Beelzebub:

Beel likes your hair

He thinks it’s really pretty

He just isn’t one to do anything with it very often

He usually has leftover residue pr grease ok his hands from whatever his latest snack was anyways so he doesn’t want to get any of that in your hair

Plus he’s a large man which means large hands so his hands would probably get stuck in your hair if he tried doing anything

Honestly the only thing he would be willing to do is brush your hair

But even then he’s really strong and doesn’t always know his own strength so he would most likely end up pulling really hard

I mean if you really wanted him to and asked real nicely

Like with the puppy dog eyes and everything

He would probably agree to doing your hair

But I would leave that to someone else if I were you

Belphie:

I feel like this man could not care less about your hair

He likes it sure but that’s mainly just cause he likes you

It gets in the way when he’s trying to cuddle you since it’s so long

No one likes a mouthful of hair when they’re trying to nap so I think he insists that you put it up when he’s trying to nap with you

All that being said I think he knows how to do a couple basic hairstyles for you

He watched his sister do her hair a bunch when they were younger so he picked up a few things

He has a huge soft spot for you so if you asked him to he would help you with your hair

He won’t be excited about it since he could be napping with you instead but he does like spending time with you

Plus after it’s been put up he can snuggle you

So win-win

[midnightsunnyday]

Holiday dinner with the family (Black MC)

Summary: MC invites the brothers to meet their family for holiday dinner. As the day progresses, shenanigans ensue.

A/N: wrote this back during the holidays and is heavily influenced off my own familial experiences, yet exaggerated for fictional purposes. Either way, I hope you enjoy. 

Warnings: some curse language, mentions to sexual situations.

----------

1:00 PM

Lucifer: alright, we're here. For the record, I think this is a horrible idea.

Belphegor: you've already stated the record 30 times before getting here.

Lucifer: and just like the 90 times before getting here, let's go over the rules again, shall we? 

*everyone groans*

Lucifer: say them.

Everyone except MC: no using our powers, no mentioning we're demons, no mentioning we attend RAD, no mentioning we're the literal envoys of the seven biblical sins, no mentioning our actual ages, no mentioning our real names, no mentioning the Devildom, no stealing, no maiming, no sodomy, no hypnotism, no blasphemy, no betting souls, and no eating MCs family.

Lucifer: good.

Asmodeus: I'm so excited! I can't wait to show your family how wonderful I am.

MC: just make sure that's the only thing you show them.

Asmodeus: I promise I'll be a good demon. Well, as good as a demon can be.

Satan: again, I get why we had to change our names, but do they have to be so ridiculous?

Beelzebub: I like my fake human name. It’s cool.

Satan: well, I don’t. Mine makes me sound like an old man.

Mammon: um, guys? Levi's having a panic attack.

Leviathan: *hyperventilates into a sandwich bag*

Beelzebub: Levi, I know you're nervous, but you're breathing on my sandwich.

Leviathan: I can't do this, OK? Just let me sit in the car.

MC: Levi, you'll be fine.

Leviathan: Levi will not be fine. I can see them from the window. Why does your family have so many people? No way they'll want to meet--

MC: --what did I tell you about the self-deprecation?

Leviathan: but I--

MC: --listen, remember that anime we watched together: I'm a Demon Who Fell in Love With a Human and Now I Have to Meet Their Family but Little Do They Know I Have Horrible Social Anxiety?

Satan: these titles...are oddly specific.

Leviathan: oh yeah. In the end the whole family went to Hell for the wedding and was super accepting.

MC: the point is they were nervous too, but they worked through it together just like we all are. And do you know why?

Leviathan: why?

MC: because I love you, Levi, to hell and back.

Leviathan: *blushes* Alright, I'll do it. If it's for you, I'll fight all the forces of Heaven themselves!

MC: it's dinner Levi, not Armageddon, but I love the confidence.

Lucifer: good then. Now, let's get this over with. Diavolo help us all.

----------

1:15 PM

MC: which one of you gave my parents a $2000 bottle of wine? 

Mammon: $2000? I thought we agreed to give them gifts under $50?

Belphegor: that's right. Who’s the show off?

Lucifer: isn't it obvious? And please, they need to know that I'm the provider in this relationship.

Mammon: and what does that make the rest of us?

Lucifer: a pain in my ass.

----------

1:35 PM

MC: great. Now my mom won't stop bragging about "my baby's boyfriend."

Asmodeus: which one?

MC: very funny. And I'm talking about “Mr. Tall, Dark, and Bougie” himself. Though I don't recall mentioning you were my partner, Lucifer.

Lucifer: why mention the obvious, love?

Mammon: don't make me gag.

----------

2:25 PM

Satan: I don’t think your uncle cares for me much.

MC: why is that?

Satan: well, for one, he keeps referring to me as “white boy.”

MC: oh, no.

Satan: I know, right? Tell me, do I really look that pale? Granted the *whispers* Devildom doesn’t have much sun, but still. Do you think a tan would be beneficial?

MC: Satan?

Satan: yes?

MC: I love you.

----------

3:40 PM

Lucifer: one of the smaller humans asked me if they could "hold a 20."

MC: yes, I saw. In which you gave them twenty $100 bills.

Lucifer: yes, to hold. Is that not correct?

----------

3:53 PM

Mammon: MC why won't you let me near the spades table? I could be making a killing right now!

MC: because lives are at stake.

Mammon: wow that hurts, MC. Do you really think I'd hurt your family?

MC: no, I think my family would hurt you.

----------

4:13 PM

Leviathan: MC. MC. EMERGENCY. All your cousins kept asking if I had games on my phone, and I was like, "Duh, of course I do." Now they've taken my phone and won't give it back!

MC: *rises from their chair and walks off*

*the sound of screaming children is heard in the distance*

MC: there you go.

Leviathan: thanks, M…ew, why is it so sticky?

----------

5:05 PM

Asmodeus: now I know I said I’d be a “good demon,” but your aunt --

MC: --is married.

Asmodeus: oooh, so she’s a two for one deal, then?

MC: go sit in the car.

Asmodeus: but--

MC: IN THE CAR.

----------

5:48 PM

Satan: MC, I don't appreciate your family insulting my intelligence.

MC: what are you talking about?

Satan: every time a song comes on, they keep asking, "what I know about it?" It's infuriating.

MC: we really need to have a talk about colloquialisms.

----------

6:07 PM

Leviathan: I think Beel just killed MC’s dad.

Lucifer: WHAT?

MC: my dad isn’t dead, Levi, just winded.

Beelzebub: we were playing football.

Lucifer: out of all the games to play and you choose football?

Beelzebub: I said no, but they really wanted me on their team and well…I was having so much fun, that I forgot my own strength and threw the ball a bit too hard. I’m so sorry, MC.

MC: *pats his head* it’s OK Beel. Though it was hard explaining why you were capable of sending a man flying several feet through the air. On the plus side, no one wants to challenge you to anymore games.  

Beelzebub: that’s...probably for the best.

----------

7:00 PM

MC: Belphie where did you go? I haven’t seen you for several hours. *sniffs his clothes* and why do you smell like that?  

Belphegor: your house was way too noisy, so me and your cousins...went for a walk.

MC: for a walk, huh?

Belphegor: *shoves a handful of Doritos into his mouth* yep.

MC: …

Belphegor: …

MC: you’re high aren’t you?

Belphegor: I will neither confirm nor deny it.

----------

7:35 PM

Lucifer: are…are we praying?

MC: oh yeah, sorry. We always pray over the food before we eat. Don’t worry, it won’t take long

*three minutes pass*

Mammon: is it over yet?

Lucifer: *whispers* Beel, calm yourself.

Beelzebub: *shirt wet with drool* I’m trying!

*five minutes pass*

“And father god, we humbly ask that you protect everyone at this table from Satan and all his machinations, both physical and spiritual. May no evils prosper against them.”

Lucifer: yes, Lord.

Satan: *glares *

Lucifer: what? I was simply agreeing with said affirmation.

----------

7:42 PM

“In Jesus name we pray, Amen.”

Everyone: Amen.

Beelzebub: finally. We can eat.

Belphegor: an eight minute long prayer? Even Jesus would tune out.

Satan: they rebuked me so much during that I think I felt my skin burn a little.

MC: Beel, save some for everyone else, please.

----------

7:55 PM

“I see you have a lot of men around you these days, MC.”

MC: they’re my friends.  

“Funny that you have all these friends, yet not one of them is your husband.”

MC: *sips drink* I’m sure you would know a lot about having no husbands, considering you’re going through your third divorce.

Mammon: *chokes on his food *

Asmodeus: I love this family.

----------

8:05 PM

“So what did you all say you do again?”

Lucifer: Student affairs

Mammon: Entrepreneur

Leviathan: Digital media

Satan: English Literature Professor

Asmodeus: Image consultant

Beelzebub: Personal trainer

Belphegor: Mortician

MC: …

Belphegor: *smiles*

----------

8:55 PM

Belphegor: wait, we’re praying again? But we’re leaving.

Lucifer: at this point we’re so blessed we could qualify for sainthood.

Mammon: hang in there, bro.

Satan: I think I feel a few blisters forming.

----------

11:35 PM

Lucifer: well, that could have gone worse.

MC: see? Everything worked out.

Lucifer: other than a few mishaps, this evening turned out to be quite pleasant.

Asmodeus: right? I had so much fun with your family, MC.

Beelzebub: I think soul food is my favorite kind of food.

Satan: do you think we made a good impression?

MC: I’ve gotten nothing but notifications since we left. Everyone wants to know when I plan to bring back… *sighs* “my rich boyfriend and his brothers.”

Mammon: I resent that first part.

Lucifer: the part where I’m rich or the part where I’m their boyfriend?

Mammon: BOTH.

MC: you guys know you’re all my family, right? So just know you’re in this for the long haul. No backing out.

Lucifer: *smiles* as if we ever planned to.

[obeymeluv]

The Bros as Dads

PSA: The boys would be very attractive dads (emotionally and physically). That is all.

Note: the headcanon also includes genders for the kids. I can see some of them having sons, and others having daughters. And, obviously, everyone is older (20′s-ish).

Lucifer

Takes a while to process the news. It’s kind of a big thing. His love life was something of a roller coaster (or nonexistent) until you. The ‘L’ word was a hurdle, now there’s a B word and a P word?!

When his brain realizes what you’ve said or if you show him some proof, the pride takes over FULL SWING (you can feel it explode in him, like his aura) and he purrs

You are truly his stars, his moon, and the heavens he so dearly misses

There’s this raw, vulnerable love in Lucifer’s eyes and it pretty much awes everyone because he’s usually so proper and reserved

The memories are old and dusty but Lucifer’s parenting instincts are strong

A type-A, fussy person. You may have 7 months left before you give birth, but the house will be spotless and perfectly proofed before you hit bed rest

Piles of parenting books suddenly sprout around the house. No one’s sure where they came from or how there’s even that many WRITTEN about parenting.

You and the child become his world. You’re his kryptonite, the only thing to convince him away from long hours or break him out of sour moods

Lucifer is very stressed, more than he thought he’d be, because you’re carrying his child and he worries for your health.

He’s with you every step of the way, from appointments to birth

He’d absolutely drop everything to tend to your needs, or appoint one of the brothers if he couldn’t.

Likes to busy himself with making a nursery and is actually good at themes/interior decorating

Has a tiny desk built in his study. The child won’t be able to join him for a while, but the idea of his tiny joy working on something beside him warms his heart

Hunts down obscure herbs and items from folklore that are supposed to bless pregnancies or benefit the unborn. Turns out he’s really nervous and superstitious.

Lucifer is the worst when it comes to shopping because his pride outweighs his logical restraint. If he convinces himself IN THE SLIGHTEST that his child would look good in something or the nursery could really use an item, it’s coming to the House of Lamentation

He ugly cries when he realizes you’re having a girl because he feels like Lilith has been given back to him.

Refuses to name his child Lilith because of everything that happened. Can’t settle for anything close to her name or any nicknames they gave her.

Makes you a sleeping space in his study. Loves to take breaks to watch you sleep. Unintentionally takes a break to kiss your stomach and talk to the baby.

Firm believer in ‘in the belly’ enrichment so you’ll have music playing and Lucifer will read to them all the time.

If the baby’s not with you, she’s with him. Lucifer has definitely shown up to a meeting with Lord Diavolo with his baby in a chest carrier. The meeting went flat because Diavolo wanted to play with the baby.

He’s the type of dad that demands total silence when the baby’s sleeping. Might have tied up some of his brothers to achieve it.

He’s not a total hard-ass (this kid has made a sucker out of him, okay?) but his kid will definitely have manners and knows to help clean up.

The type to take naps with his kid. He’ll get up at 2 in the morning and climb into their crib if they’re fussy.

Lucifer spent so much of his life being the primary caretaker for his bros that he forgets he’s not alone this time. When you push him back down so he can sleep, and tend to your daughter, his heart almost bursts with love.

On the fence about another child. The kid’s going to have pride in spades and he thinks a sibling will humble them (and make them less lonely). He’s also afraid of that prideful wrath and doesn’t want two prideful little demons always fighting

Isn’t the best with dressing up his kid but likes to give them fancy shoes. The shoes are always on point even if the rest of the outfit is a disaster.

Is 100% ready to receive any and everything “#1 Dad” because he IS, DAMN IT. He’ll use it regularly, too.

Mammon

He’s freaking out hardcore (”You sure? Really, really sure? Maybe you just have gas or something. Y-yeah!”)

Doesn’t believe it until he sees a test. Promptly faints. Dead-ass faints as soon as he sees it.

Kind of remembers it when he wakes up, and you have to remind him again.

This time he’s pretty excited because THE GREAT MAMMON will be having a child. WHAT A GIFT, RIGHT? THE BEST GIFT!

All the magazines are snapping up this gossip and, for once in his life, he puts the earnings away. Kid has a nice fund going before they’re even born.

His schedule is 50% work, 50% family because YOUR MAIN MAN HAS TO BE THERE. Work just pays the bills and pads the nursery account, okay?

The Devildom has something similar to a baby shower and Mammon puts all KINDS of high-dollar shit on there. His baby’s going to be stylin’, okay?

Some crying in front of others, but an entirely different kind of crying behind closed doors. Vulnerable, grateful crying about being loved and having a tiny someone who will love him, too

Pays someone to explain baby stuff to him. How to change them, feed them, what type of breathing you should be doing. It surprised his bros because Lucifer could just give him that info. The fact that Mammon paid for it means he’s pretty serious about learning.

Gets tons of free maternity photos because all his magazines want the scoop. He gets to pamper you and see you all dressed up and beautiful and EVERY magazine has a shot of him crying like a proud sap.

Mammon hoards all of those pictures. Has a pile of them in his room, totally separate from everything else.

Has a lot of nervous energy and can get frustrated with all the baby books, so he distracts himself with scrap-booking. Surprisingly good at it.

Mammon thinks you’re just the most beautiful thing ever. He loves taking pictures of you. Wants the kid to have no doubts about how much he loves them and their parent.

He’s so lovesick. When you sleep or hug your belly or just touch it he melts.

Stacks Grimm on your belly when you sleep. Thinks it’s fun. Likes to record how big the towers get.

Not the best at getting up for your random-hour cravings and has definitely made you cry with his bluntness. When he’s more awake he’ll apologize and you guys will work it out.

When he finds out he’s having a little boy, the bros throw a party. Mammon gets semi-drunk and has a huge, ass-chewing lecture about how the bros made him feel for centuries and how they better not say ANYTHING like that to his kid.

You shot down any and all attempts to name the kid anything money related.

Almost passed out when you had the baby.

Cried when he first held him. Calls him Mamm-mini.

Totally planning the baby’s first photo shoot. Has people on standby to make matching outfits.

He now has a partner in crime and the kid can charm the pants off of anyone!

Mammon is 100% devoted to this kid and he secretly hopes he’s the favorite parent.

Lives for any second of bonding he can get. NEEDS IT TO LIVE. 100% a sappy dad.

The most supportive dad, always saying nice things because he knows people didn’t always say nice things about him.

Levi

Brain stops working. You almost think you’ve given him a heart attack

Levi feels you take the controller from his hand and instantly has to fill it with something else, taking yours. He looks at you and asks you again if you’re sure.

He can see it in your eyes and he just crows. He doesn’t know if he’s excited or scared but he made the noise.

Worries A LOT about the idea of becoming a father. Can gross otakus be good fathers? How does he dad?

Gets pre-stressed about social interactions. Kids have to go to school and have play-dates and Levi’s going to have to talk to people...ugh! Gross!

Definitely has a few break-downs (feelings of inadequacy, etc.) before Lucifer or Satan comfort him. He’s better than he thinks, just insecure. Everyone learns as they go. They have classes (”They’re like cheat codes, Levi.”) and it makes him feel better

His gaming friends send their congratulations and he gets lots of themed blankets and onesies.

Wants you to have a water birth because the water is his child’s calling. Really attached to the idea.

He’s constantly looking up guides to baby-proofing, double- and triple-checking safety specs of anything before buying it.

Spends HOURS scouring Akuzon, comparing brands, and reading reviews for everything.

Akuzon noticed he was buying lots of baby books and looking at baby-related things so they sent him a onesie.

You get a lovely beach/water-themed maternity shoot and Levi is so love-struck he gets a nosebleed. Once he’s cleaned up it makes a darling photo shoot.  

Has already made lists of anime for the kid to watch. Some are his favorite, some are for the lessons and moments that stuck with him

Asmo messaged TSL on the down-low and Levi got some quality kid-sized merch.

Tries to get you to name the baby Henry if it’s a boy. When he finds out it’s a girl, he pushes for Henrietta.

Reads TSL to the baby and plays ocean sounds.

As you get further along in your pregnancy, he buys a fridge for his room and stocks it with your favorite cold stuff. Any snack foods are just added to his stash.

You are absolutely worshipped. Craving something? Akuzon has it and the fastest pig is on it’s way. Your feet hurt? Try a water bath!

You’re his Player 2 now and forever (always have been), and he’s keeping you in perfect health.

Probably keeps a video journal for the kid or of the two of you during your pregnancy. Big on preserving stuff digitally.

Probably makes a game for his kid just because. They’ll be able to play it when they’re older.

Bought a ton of Magical Girl-style hairbows and things for when their hair grows in. His daughter’s a fucking princess, okay?

Belphegor bought the baby a goldfish onesie and Levi loves it to pieces.

Bought the baby a seashell bassinet and rocks them to sleep with his tail.

Levi has a bad sleep schedule and wakes easily, so he’s usually the first one to get up and handle the baby.

He has this complex about being a good dad. People can call him a weird, gross otaku but they’re ALSO going to mention how good of a dad he is!

Super affectionate with his kid in a quiet, whispering, mumbling way. Just thinks they’re the best thing.

Having a daughter really makes him rethink some of the ways he viewed anime characters and made him super critical. If his daughter ends up liking anime he’ll make it very clear what he thinks and how she shouldn’t let other people treat her like an object. 

His demon form gets triggered REALLY EASILY if his bros hold her for too long. THAT’S HIS BABY, THANK YOU!

Satan

Secretly hoped to be a father one day. Wanted to prove so badly that he could be one, and move past the constant fear of his temper looming over him. He didn’t want wrath to be his only legacy.

Can’t manage more than a genuine smile and a lilting laugh when you tell him, but he’s literally almost sick with joy. He’s just not the type to jump from the rooftops or anything

Asmodeus and Mammon convince him into drinking because he needs to let loose and really show it!

Satan ends up drunk-stumbling to Lucifer and plunking his head into his chest and crying. He’s crying because he’s happy and mumbling something about ‘granddad’. When his tears dry he’s happy as can be, smugly calls Lucifer an ‘old fuck’ and promptly throws up.

They’re past most of their bad blood but even Lucifer wasn’t surprised Satan never got EVERYTHING out of his system. A lot of his childhood memories are tainted with pure wrath instead of coming into his cardinal sin through some other mean. Or naturally, like puberty.

Between his personal research and Lucifer’s expertise, the baby-proofing is totally covered.

His book binges are strictly about pregnancies, suspicions, rituals, parenting, and anything he can think of that has to do with kids.

He’s big on teas and brews that are supposed to help with pregnancies and pains. Uses his many connections to get ingredients for said teas

Reads the classics and big epics to his unborn child.

Buys you some Hellcats for protection. They’re fiercely loyal, so he’ll know you’re safe.

He’d be the type to nag you about your diet, but not to be mean. He’d support it with this absolute WALL of evidence that turns into a lecture that could last for hours.

Has to fight the Hellcats to sit next to you or touch your belly a lot more than he thought he would. He’d never say it out loud, but he’s starting to hate the cats (he doesn’t mean it though).

Starts cleaning up his book piles a lot more. The baby would get hurt if the stacks fell on them. His room becomes virtually spotless.

You pick books to read together. You end up reading Satan to sleep, too. He keeps a hand on your belly.

Gets nervous about you wanting to go out, and basically tries to keep you in the House of Lamentation. Relents a little because hormones make you scary. He was basically afraid of nothing because the walks were fine.

You like to sit in the Devildom gardens and he thinks you look picturesque and wonderful. It takes his breath away.

Asmodeus is your personal photographer because Satan doesn’t think anyone else will do you justice.

Finds out you’re having boy-girl twins and totally shuts down. What does he say? How does he respond? BELPHIE OR BEEL WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE TWINS! WHY HIM?!

Lucifer is BEYOND amused. This is definitely payback for everything Satan did in his childhood (so the saying goes).

It doesn’t bother him as much when he starts buying smart little cardigans, button-ups, ribbons, and bowties. He’s actually quite happy.

The Hellcats act weird and tip him off to your contractions before your water breaks. Satan gets you to the hospital and helps you give birth. The twins grow to look more like him than you, but if someone mistakes you for the nanny or says something derogatory, he’s pulling two ferocious kids off an idiot

Satan was afraid he’d be a short fuse, but he becomes the parent that explains everything to death (for better or worse). The kids will get a lecture when they’re bad, when the ask ‘why’ to something, he’ll explain why he gave the punishment he did, and be very clear with anything.

Asmodeus

Quickly falls in love with the idea of you being pregnant. It’s the best! Proof of his truest love, the thing that makes his heart beat!

He loved you to pieces before you were pregnant, and loves you even more now (if that’s possible).

Always wants to be with you, smothering your belly with kisses and touches and looking at it like it’s the next greatest love of his life

Takes names very seriously. “My child is a gift unto this world. People will know their name, so it has to be a good one!”

Gets really wrapped up in decor and aesthetic. He’d be a one-man force for all of it if you didn’t tell him to stop and breathe! Asmodeus just has lots of ideas, okay?

Has a really hard time understanding the value of baby-proofing until Satan smushes a few of his lipsticks in his hand and knocks around some finishing powder (”Now imagine that. All the time. With anything you love.”). 

Hires someone to baby-proof the room because that’s just not his thing. He’ll handle securing the valuables, okay?

Constantly reading about beauty rituals and things to do for his pregnant wife. She’s doing something really hard and deserves to be pampered!

You’ll constantly be pampered or trying ‘this and that’ because he read it was good for the baby. Good for beauty, good for health, etc.

Has a pretty decent diet, himself, and keeps you on yours.

You definitely have pregnancy sex a few times. Anything he can do to help you out, you know?

Asmodeus ADORES watching you grow round with his child and LIVES for helping you take care of yourself. He’ll let you lounge in his fantastic tub and has no issues sitting on the floor and doing your toes

Picks out all your outfits. Wants you to look your best! Don’t worry, you’ll be comfy!

When he finds out you’re having a girl he cries. A lot.

SO MANY BABY UPDATE BROADCASTS ON DEVILGRAM! There is an official ‘baby watch’. It’s trending more than you thought it would.

Takes TONS of videos.

His baby is easily the most fashionable child in all of Devildom.

Takes really candid, private photos that have a lot of sentimental value. A lot of your pregnancy photos are you looking comfy in bed or sitting at a vanity in breezy clothes as he does your makeup.

The type of dad to sit down in the middle of the store to play with toys (are they good enough for his kid? Like, really?). Must feel everything before he buys it. If he doesn’t like how it feels, he won’t buy it.

You end up giving birth earlier than planned and Asmo almost throws up because birth doesn’t look like he thought it would

Super nervous during your pregnancy because you’re in pain and there’s lots of noises.

Busies himself doing your makeup because that’s the only way he can handle the situation. You’re holding his tail and he SWEARS you’re going to break it off!

The bros help deliver his little angel and Asmo is SMITTEN. ABSOLUTELY SMITTEN.

Holding his baby 24/7.

Loses sleep just because he watches them sleep. Sometimes he loses sleep for real because DAMN, babies don’t sleep a lot, do they?

It’s really hard to adjust to and he’s surprised his skin isn’t god-awful.

Doesn’t regret a thing, fawning over their tiny nails and little curls, and OMG EVERYTHING! Cries a lot because they’re just perfect

His wardrobe reflects his dad status but he still looks like a DILF. You can give him the most classic dad attire and it just looks good on him.

Beelzebub

He’s excited about your pregnancy. Boy honestly tried for it, you know? Studied positions and everything.

Beelzebub has so much love and the idea of holding a tiny someone just warms his heart

Everything kid-related is totally foreign to him except for how to act with them. He and Belphie were the youngest so he was used to being taken care of until he got old enough to climb and eat on his own.

The type of guy to need explicit, step-by-step instructions on EVERYTHING. He doesn’t have a brain for it like Satan or Lucifer, so he needs help

Seriously. Give him a checklist for baby-proofing and he’ll get it done.

Gets pretty down about not being able to cuddle and snuggle like normal, but he’ll look into safe ways to do so.

Has special snuggles with the baby. Kisses your belly and rubs it. Talks to your baby like the little demon it is (even if it doesn’t have a name yet).

Lives for the times you talk to the baby, talk yourself out of bed, or how you absently talk to your belly throughout the day.

Works out to deal with stress and nerves, but also because he wants to be a good, strong dad

The doctors give him a list of exercises you can do and he does them with you

Can’t really take the nutrition advice seriously. He eats pretty much everything and you probably will, too.

When people ask him about your pregnancy, he uses very inclusive language (”We’re expecting, etc.”)

You make mini-dates out of your late-night cravings. Beel is totally in love with it.

Beelzebub becomes your food finder. There’s been times where you look at him so cutely, so imploringly, and all you can manage is ‘spicy and crunchy’. He’ll find you something, don’t worry! He’s an expert!

Big on massages and cuddling. Likes to cup his hands over your belly and trace it.

The type of dad to gain weight with you as your pregnancy moves along. Becomes soft, strong dad.

Finds out you’re having twin boys and has the happiest crying session ever. Belphie is the first to know and all Beel can say is ‘Just like us!’ as he nearly crushes his twin to death.

Likes to dress them in cute and comfy clothes. Animal onesies? Yes!

At some point yours twins are going to look like hotdogs and hamburgers. There’s no shortage of food costumes thanks to Levi, Asmo, and Beel.

Suspicious about baby food, bugs Satan about how nutritious it is, and tries all of it just to be sure.

Some of their teething toys look like real food. Beelzebub ate one on accident.

Is a perfect gentle giant. Afraid of hurting them, for they are tiny and precious, but gets over that pretty quickly.

Always wants to cuddle and hold them. You have to make him leave them alone to sleep. Gets kind of sad when they’re napping because he can’t make faces at them or hear them laugh. Right back to his usual self when they wake up, though.

You best believe they learn their alphabet by studying food. Beelzebub will stand in the kitchen and dig through the pantry until he finds things that match the letters of the alphabet 

Belphegor

He’s kind of surprised you ended up pregnant because the sex is usually lazy and casual. Yes, he has the moments where it’s pretty hardcore, but...wow. For some reason, he just didn’t see you getting pregnant.

Secretly hopes you have more than one kid. Something in him would just be happy if there’s more than one kid. You think it comes from the time he spent alone in the attic but never say it.

Sleeps a lot more. Not out of avoidance or anything, but because naps will be rare in the future. He likes to think he’s stockpiling sleep.

Makes sure you’re comfy at all times.

Would love for you to sleep and be cozy but apparently that’s not healthy for humans, so he takes easy walks around the house and keeps you semi-active.

He’ll give you his cow pillow to use as a back pillow. It’s his way of letting the baby use it until he can share it with them.

Listens to a lot of audiotapes about parenting. Looks at books, too, but does better with audio. 

Reads a new bedtime story to your kid every night.

Sometimes you guys sleep in the star room so he can talk to them about constellations. They can’t see anything, of course, but he still goes into detail.

Isn’t much of a picture person and doesn’t see the point in taking maternity pictures. It’s actually because Belphie has a photographic memory so he remembers everything.

The bros force him into taking maternity pictures.

The type to journal everything. He writes a big-ass, super-detailed diary for the baby.

Is kind of worried about his temperament, so he’ll take some classes on how to handle stress and stuff before the babies arrive

Becomes King of Lists. There’s lists for everything. Lists help. Lists are good.

When he finds out you’re having triplets (a boy and two girls), he doesn’t know how to react. You saw him smile though. It doesn’t sink in until you’re hugging him. “I’m never sleeping again,” he realizes with absolute terror.

Beelzebub is super excited. “That’s twins plus a bonus!”

Very snobby about the nursery decor. Also very tactile like Asmodeus. If it doesn’t feel good, it’s not going in the nursery.

Wants a barn-themed nursery (to include as many cow-related things as possible)

You get the comfiest PJs.

With three kids, he lives by embroidery. He has to have a way to tell them apart, after all (the girls, at least).

Can’t hoard the babies but wants to. Hates that he doesn’t have enough arms to hold them all at the same time.

Is very interested by their tendency to hold each other and nap together. Finds it super adorable.

Makes a super-sized crib he can climb in and sleep with them. It’s basically a Belphie-sized bed with little attachments his kids sleep in. Separates them all just enough so he doesn’t worry about hurting them, but there’s still contact

Thanks whatever god exists that they mostly stay on a schedule together. Makes it stressful for changing diapers, but very fun to feed them.

Almost dies laughing when Lucifer holds them for the first time because one vomited on him, the other sneezed in his face, and one pooped so much it got on his pants leg.

Lulls them to sleep with his happy purr, and gets woken up from a dead sleep by pure love when they make the sound back. Suddenly there’s three chirpy purrs rolling against him and he’s in love.

Proud they love their mama so much (to the point of being TOTAL mama’s kids), but also kind of relieved he can breathe.

The three trade off occasionally when they realize he’s free real estate and come to him for snuggles. They all love him so he doesn’t mind.

This house supports cuddle piles! Belphie got them hooked on group naps for a young age and they sleep together now. 

Hope you liked it :)

[sunlightandsuffering]

I DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT DIKEODJRKRK LIKE SHES EVEN NICE TO REINER

😂😂😂 bro Its kinda funny tho Eren would lose his fucking mind.

She likes Reiner... fucking Reiner.

She keeps sending him flirtatious glances and cute little winks every time she drops off a scone or a water refill and Eren simultaneously wants to pull his hair out and stick his fork through Reiner's eyeball. And the blonde man sitting across from him knows it. He keeps giving Eren nervous looks and he's grabbed at the collar of his shirt too many times now just to be readjusting it.

Does she not SEE him or something. He doesn't want to be vain but Eren knows regardless of Mikasa's long lost love for him, he's a good-looking guy, he can wheel girls and it's easy. Objectively Reiner is also good-looking, but they're just not the same, Reiner is built like a wall and Eren is a bit more lithe and his face more chiselled. He personally thinks he's a bit better-looking than Reiner but still what the fuck Mikasa?

Well time to turn on the charm, he's usually okay at seducing waitresses, it's been a hot minute though.

Turns out he's not so great at it or maybe Mikasa just hates him he's not entirely sure. At every turn she stonewalls him.

Flirty wink: ignored.

Writing his number down on a napkin and slyly handing it to her: balled up and thrown into the trash. Coincidentally running into her after coming from the bathroom: IGNORED

Flirtatious banter: she takes the opportunity to smile and laugh at Reiner.

He's on the worst losing streak of his life and he doesn't understand.

"Hey, Mikasa is it? That's a really pretty name, does it have any meaning or anything." The line is a last resort and he only does it because he can't think of anything else. He just knows he needs to make some kind of impression on her.

She gives him an unimpressed look, "No, I'm surprised a guy like you said it correctly though, usually everyone gets it wrong." His jaw drops, a guy like him?? A GUY LIKE HIM?? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??

He can't believe the love of his life hates him because he's been stereotyped as a douchebag. How tragic.

He tries to rebound from her epic destruction of his character, "Well I'm sure you haven't met a lot of guys like me I'm a bit different than what you'd expect." She looks at him in disbelief, but hey at least she's not trying to flash Reiner her epic rack through her low-cut shirt anymore. Now she's just irritated. "Guys like you are a dime a dozen. I bet your name is Kyle, you're probably in business school and president of your fraternity. You do stand-up paddle board yoga on the weekend with your dog at your parent's beach house and you flirt with anything that walks because you can. I've got news for you Kyle, not interested."

All of their friends are just kind of staring in horror at the epic takedown they've just witnessed but Eren shrugs it off he can take the verbal abuse, there's just one thing he can't get over.

KYLE?? SHE THOUGHT HIS NAME WAS KYLE?? Why is he being stereotyped like this, why isn't Reiner, he looks like way more of an asshole than he does.

His face downturns and his mood sours, he doesn't even want to flirt with her anymore, she's just being mean now.

Well might as well stick it to her today, give her a memorable story for her friends, he'll come back another time without a man bun and maybe she'll change her tune. "My name is actually Eren. I'm in pre-med, definitely not involved in a fraternity but Reiner over there is," he points at his blonde friend, he needs her to know he's a douche, SHE CAN'T like Reiner more than him.

He leaves a wad of cash on the table with a generous tip for his meal, "I do actually enjoy stand-up paddle boarding but I don't have a dog and on the weekends I usually volunteer at my dad's clinic. I don't usually flirt with a lot of girls, only ones with dark hair and bad attitudes but since you're so obviously not interested Mi-Ka-Sa," he draws out her name as he stands, towering over her a small grin on his face, "I'll take it as my loss for today but I'll be sure to see you next time."

He leaves her with a wink and he doesn't bother to look back as he leaves the restaurant, waving at Levi who is busy cleaning up behind the cafe counter where they sell pastries.

Mikasa feels AWFUL. That's the meanest she'd ever been in her life but in her defence she's having an awful day and she'd thought the blonde guy, Reiner was cute. He's just her type, blond, tall and with pretty eyes. Of course she'd noticed that the other boy was equally attractive if not more so but she'd written him off as an asshole almost immediately. So to say she's shocked by his response to her is a bit of an understatement. She's a terrible human being and she almost considers running after him, but she still needs to help his friends pay their bill. She gives the debit machine a mournful look as her guilt kicks in. She'd taken all of the stress of her day out on him, it wasn't his fault her car had broke down this morning and that almost every consecutive customer she'd had today had been a dick in one way or another.

She's about to awkwardly ask who wants to pay their bill next when a curly haired girl pipes up from her spot in the corner of the booth. "Hey I know you have absolutely no reason too, but can you do us a favour and run after him. I can almost guarantee it'll be the best decision of your life."

Everyone else around the table is nodding seriously and she doesn't understand at all but well if they all agree, who is she to say no. She leaves the debit machine and speed-walks out of the restaurant, picking up to a quick jog when she spots him well into the parking lot and almost to a silver car.

"Hey!" She yells but he doesn't hear her, he's fiddling around on his phone. She breaks into a sprint just to catch up and she curses how wide their parking lot is.

"Hey you! Eren!" She yells again when she gets close enough and he finally stops, turning to look at her. She stops in front of him, wheezing a bit to catch her breath, god she's out of shape these days.

"What can I do for you Mikasa?" He asks, as if she didn't just insult him.

"Give me-" She wheezes again, "a minute." "Got it." He says and she takes a few more deep breaths before she finally speaks. "I'm really sorry about everything that just happened, I um-I've been having a bad day and I took it out on you. I didn't mean it, I was just being a dick."

She looks up to observe his reaction, preparing to be reamed out for her rudeness but he just grins, green eyes twinkling. "What time are you off?"

"Ugh-six?"

"Good. I'll pick you up at six."

He turns and starts walking towards his car again.

She is dumbfounded. What the hell is she supposed to do, did he just ask her out. "Wait are you asking me out, like on a date." "Do you want it to be a date Mikasa?" "Yes?" "Then it's a date." He gives her one last wink and she's left staring after him unsure how to deal with the entire interaction. Apparently now she has a date.

[q-spam]

random ft sexuality headcanons bec im rewatching it for the first time since i was like 9 and realizing just how gay it is,,

Natsu:

whats a pronoun?

not in a condescending way hes just a dumb bitch

i honestly doubt he knows what pronouns are in terms of language as a whole actually,,,

honestly? pan vibes.

like the concept of homophobia just,,, was never introduced to him

Lucy:

bi(male pref)

her dads definitely homophobic because layla definitely had an affair with a female maid or something

trys and fails to correct natsu when he inevitably uses the wrong pronouns for someone

Gray

cishet

but like in the bi wife sorta way

hes probably really chill about it haha cold pun

always addresses you with the right pronouns

Erza

okokok hear me out,,,,

pan

like as teenagers, her and mira were gfs they broke up a bit after lisanas (how tf do you spell her name) 'death'

there were no hard feelings or anything but they thought they worked better as friends

she also went to mira for relationship advice when she fell for jellal lmao

aggressively supportive (be whoooo youu areeeeeee foR YOURRR PRIDEEE)

Wendy

wendy is an adorable baby lesbian with a puppy crush on chelia/shelia and it's the cutest thing ever

she does not know how to handle it

erza is not very helpful

Juvia

pansexual

she'd dedicate herself to love regardless of gender

i don't really have much to say on this one tbh

Gajeel

with peace and love; homophobic

leVYS TRYING OK

lily would also get mad at him

actually post timeskip he isnt homophobic

i just remembered the whole loving isnt a sin thing lmao

he learned to be open minded bec he was afraid that levy wouldn't like him if he wasnt

hes right she wouldn't

neither would lily

Levy

pan? i guess? honestly when i first saw her she gave me cottage core lesbian vibes but her and gajeel are super cute so,,,

she seems like the type who doesn't want to cut off any options for herself

probably really sweet and supportive if you come out to her

honestly just a really good person

Laxus

homophobic asf before the battle of ft arc

after tho?

oh boy

mans did some self questioning

turns out hes just a gay king with some heavy internalized homophobia

Freed

does this really need explaining?

freed justine is the gayist man i have ever seen in my life

like calm tf down mr.i-will-follow-you-even-if-doing-so-leads-to-hell-justins

this man HAS to be a theater major

like bro you are so fucking extra

he an laxus are in love mashima told me himself

Bickslow

ok. hear me out.

he/they non-binary.

i dONT EVEN KNOW WITH THIS ONE IT JUST MAKES SENSE IN MY HEAD OK

Evergreen

bi(male pref)

idk she just gives the i-like-women vibes

i still think her and elfman are super cute tho,,,

idk man

Mira

bi(fem pref)

i already explained my mira hc with erza a bit

she just radiates bad bitch energy tbh

like you know mira fucks (and she knows it too)

Elfman

with peace and love: heterosexual

bi wife energy

supportive king

this man was raised by women he knows better than to be homophobic

putting this out there: afab

and leaving it there bec i dont even know with that hc lmao