#i was trying to be normal around Niccoló but i opened up to my best friend who allegedly also had BPD and he showed Niccoló EVERYTHING

[deadandwalking]

actually sobbing rn i just found out Stephen’s partner found out what i said AND THEY’RE ON MY SIDE. THEY KNOW HOW I WAS FEELING THEY UNDERSTOOD ME. RORO WAS A LYING SACK OF FUCKING SHIT IT WAS THE BPD. IT WAS I WAS RIGHT I WAS FUCKING RIGHT I WAS THE ONE ABANDONED AGAIN IT WAS NICCOLÓ’S FUCKING FAULT HE LEFT ME WHEN I NEEDED HIM

[bi-leigh-bi]

Joe x Nicky kiss prompt #20

@lindstrom2020 #20: Kissing in a stairwell, giving them an artificial height difference.

These are the kinds of missions that Joe knows Nicky hates, having to socialize and charm. Not that Nicky isn’t excellent at it, he is. Joe has watched him all evening, drawing people to him with a quiet magnetism he didn’t even have to try for. He just didn’t enjoy having to do it.

He knew Nicky would argue that it was Joe who drew people in, and perhaps he had-

he had, for the record, he definitely had-

But Nicky in a full suit, with that waistcoat Joe loved that had the intricate dark blue stitching, was devastatingly beautiful. Joe hasn’t been able to stop looking at him, even though for the sake of this job he probably shouldn’t be paying him so much attention.

But he can’t quite help it... they haven’t seen each other in four days. Normally that might not bother them much. But this is the first time they’ve been separated for any reason since...

Since London.

So watching Nicky walk in, after days of not seeing him, looking that dashing and so completely beautiful and... and whole, healthy... oh, Joe’s heart. He hadn’t even realized how tight of a grip fear had had on him until then. It’s stupid, he’s sure, but it’s still true.

He catches blue green eyes across the room and with a barely there flit of his gaze he knows Nicky wants to meet. There isn’t anywhere in the direction he’d just looked except the stairwell. Joe waits a moment and then finds an excuse to leave the small group he’d been imbedded with.

Nicky is nowhere to be seen but he’s trusting that he knows Nicky well enough to know where he’d intended them to meet. The door to the stairwell opens and Joe slips inside. It’s darker in the stairwell, but not so dark he can’t see.

Even still he nearly jumps as hands grasps at his waist and turn him and there is his Niccoló, his Nico, a step down and around the corner of the railing, making him hard to see. For a moment Joe forgets about the job. He doesn’t care about the job. All he cares about is that he hasn’t seen or touched Nicky in four days and it’s entirely too long.

Hands cup Nicky’s face and he leans down to press his lips to his with a soft desperation. Nicky’s arms wrap around his waist and he stretches his neck up to meet Joe’s kiss. It’s a strange sensation, they’re almost the same height normally. But there’s something almost nice about it. They way he can curl over Nicky like this, even as he kisses him, block him from the rest of the world.

He can feel the way Nicky’s body is taught, tense the way it usually wouldn’t be.

“What’s wrong, Nico?” he murmured, when their kiss finally broke.

Nicky looks up at him, light eyes wide and blinking owlishly.

“It’s a foolish thing,” Nicky says, and Joe knows what he’s about to say. “I think I was worried about you- that something would have happened. We have not worked apart since-“

Joe ducks his head to kiss him again, harder this time. Tongue licking into his mouth, tasting him. Allah, he loves him. He loves him so much. For over nine hundred years he’s loved him and it still isn’t enough. He still needs more time with him.

They’re both panting for air by the time their lips part. Their foreheads pressed together despite how Joe’s back aches with it.

“It isn’t foolish,” he murmurs, lips brushing Nicky’s again. “It isn’t foolish, I felt it too.”

Nicky breathes out, dips his forehead to Joe’s chest and breathes deeply against him. Joe pushes a hand into his soft hair and holds him close, still bowed over him. It’s a risk they shouldn’t be taking but they can’t help it.

“We’re almost done,” he murmurs. “After tonight.”

Nicky lifts his head and Joe just stares down into his face.

“After tonight,” he agrees finally and Joe doesn’t want to but he steps back. “Joe, Yusuf, be careful tonight. Please, amore mio, for my sake.”

Joe takes his hand and kisses it. He nods. It’s the best he can do. He wants to say the same but he knows... Nicky knows, they’ll be as careful as they can be.

“After tonight,” he says again, and let’s Nicky go.

After tonight.