#i was too self-conscious to put that in the post ahaha

[musefictions]

My story "Imitates Life" is out now in The Gateway Review! A quick logline: Sculptor whose creations come to life tries to make the perfect man. This goes just as awry as you can image.

You can purchase the issue it's in with the link above!

[homesickwhispers]

getaway.

(Van X Reader.)

After 3 months of focusing on your little boy, you and Van finally decide to get away for one night.

warning: NSFW content.

hii :) i enjoyed writing Dad Van sm here i am again ahaha btw my Dad Van has long hair and i hope yall picture him like this too 🫵🫵🤭 enjoyyy

also i might have gotten a bit too excited and written wayy too much but this is already me making up for the next days that i wont be posting 🥲

Love to all Xx hope u like this

As I step into the dimly lit restaurant, my heels clicking softly against the marble floor, I can feel Van’s eyes on me, the kind of gaze that makes my skin flush.

Everything felt like a dream, a world away from the sleepless nights and the constant demands of being new parents. For a few hours I was going to be able to sit back, enjoy a meal, sip on a glass of wine, and just be with Van.

He’s always had a way of looking at me, even when I’m feeling anything but confident. Tonight, though, I’m trying. Really trying. I did my hair, took my time with my makeup, even painted my nails—something I haven’t done since before our baby boy was born.

Tonight was our first night out in three months since the baby was born, and I was more excited than I had been in a long time.

It felt like ages since I’d done anything for myself, and I missed Van terribly. The exhaustion of new parenthood had consumed me, and between feeding, changing, and the constant worry, there wasn’t much room for anything else.

But tonight was different. I had decided to go all out.

It had been a while since I’d really put effort into how I looked, and the familiar motion of applying mascara and lipstick felt like a small piece of my old self coming back to life.

The dress… well, it’s red. Bold, vibrant, and a little out of my comfort zone. I can’t remember the last time I wore something this daring. After giving birth, I’ve struggled with how I feel in my own skin. I’m no longer the slim girl I was when Van and I first met.

My body is different now—curvier, fuller. My hips are wider, my breasts heavier, and while part of me feels self-conscious, I know he’s always loved every part of me.

I wasn’t used to seeing myself like this, and although I knew my body had done something incredible, there were moments when I felt off, still healing, still learning to accept the new curves.

But tonight wasn’t about that. It was about Van. It was about us, and the months we had spent apart, even while sharing the same space.

I missed him so much it hurt.

Van’s mother was staying over with the baby for the night, giving us the rare opportunity to spend some uninterrupted time together.

We were going to a fancy restaurant at a five-star hotel, and the thought of a quiet dinner with Van, just the two of us, had me buzzing with anticipation.

He was never someone to brag about money and luxury but he did like to go all out when it came to..Well, when it came to me.

Van got up as I approached the table, pulling out my chair with that quiet, effortless charm he’s always had. His gaze lingered on me, appreciation clear in the way his lips quirk into that soft smile, the one that’s just for me.

“You look stunning,” he murmured, his voice low, leaning closer as I take my seat. His hand rests on my back for a moment, warm and reassuring.

I felt a blush creeping up my neck. “Thanks… I wasn’t sure if I could still pull this off.”

His hand slides down to the small of my back, thumb tracing gentle circles as he whispers, “(Y/N), you’ve never looked more beautiful. There’s nothing you can’t pull off.”

I blushed, feeling a mix of pride and vulnerability. “Thanks. I just… wanted to feel like myself again, you know?”

“You’re more than yourself,” he said, his thumb brushing over the back of my hand. “You’re amazing.”

I glanced at him, trying to suppress the nervous flutter in my stomach. Even now, after everything, he still had the ability to make me feel like I’m the only woman in the world.

But it’s been months since we’ve had time to ourselves—months of sleepless nights, diaper changes, and constant worry over our baby boy. I almost forgot what it felt like to be… just me and him.

As we ordered dinner, I catch his eye again. He’s relaxed, content, his usual easy smile playing at his lips. “I’m glad we’re doing this,” he said, reaching for my hand across the table. His thumb caressed the back of it, grounding me in the moment.

“Me too,” I admitted, squeezing his hand gently. “I feel like I’ve forgotten how to be… this.”

“This?” He raises a brow.

“You know,” I say, gesturing vaguely, “me. Us. It’s been a while.”

His smile softens, and he leans forward, lowering his voice as if he’s sharing a secret. “We’re still us, (Y/N). Just with a little more to love.” His eyes drop for a second, taking in the curves of my body, and I can see that familiar spark in his gaze, the one that always makes me feel safe.

I laugh softly, shaking my head. “You’re impossible.”

“Maybe,” he grins. “But you’re my favorite part of this whole thing, you know that?” He lifts my hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to my knuckles.

The restaurant was as fancy as I’d imagined—dim lighting, candles on the tables, the hum of soft conversation.

"You look incredible tonight,” I say, running my fingers through his hair, the soft strands slipping between them. “I’m really glad we’re here. It feels like it’s been forever.”

Van turned his head slightly, leaning into my touch, his eyes sparkling with a mixture of love and mischief. “You’re the one who looks stunning,” he replies, a playful grin tugging at his lips. “That dress is killing me.”

I laugh, feeling a rush of warmth spread through me. “I was hoping you’d like it. It’s nice to feel a little put together after months of spit-up and diaper changes.”

His gaze softens, and he shakes his head. “You’ve always been beautiful, (Y/N). The world might have changed, but you haven’t. Just look at you.”

It’s moments like this—his tenderness, the way he grounds me when my mind spirals—that make me feel like everything is going to be okay.

Van leaned back in his chair with that familiar cheeky grin, the one that always makes me suspicious.

“What?” I ask, narrowing my eyes at him. “You look like you’re hiding something.”

He chuckles, taking a sip of his drink before leaning in closer. “Maybe I am.”

I raise an eyebrow, already intrigued. “Go on, then. Spill.”

He set his glass down, folding his arms as he gave me that mischievous look. “I’ve got a little surprise for you.”

My heart flutters, but I play it cool. “A surprise? What are you up to now?”

Van smirked, clearly enjoying dragging this out. “Well, dinner’s always nice, but I thought we could do with a bit more.” He pauses, leaning back again as if waiting for the right moment. “So, I went ahead and booked us a room. For tonight.”

I blinked, trying to process. “Wait… what? A room? You mean here?”

He nods, his grin widening. “Yeah. Mum’s staying over with the little one, so we’ve got the whole night to ourselves.”

I stared at him for a second, my heart racing. “You’re joking, right?”

He shakes his head, his thumb tracing circles on my hand. “Not joking. Figured we could use a night off, you know? Just you and me, no baby monitor, no nappies—just us.”

I stand still for a moment, butterflies in my stomach going wild. The idea of having a whole night alone, just Van and me, felt surreal. I’d been so focused on our baby that I hadn’t even considered the possibility of something like this.

I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face, the thought of having an entire night with him making my heart swell. “Van… I don’t even know what to say.”

He leans forward, his voice soft and low. “You don’t have to say anything, love. Just enjoy it. It’s been ages since we’ve had proper time together.”

I laugh softly, shaking my head in disbelief. “You really went all out, didn’t you?”

He shrugs, his grin turning softer. “What can I say? I like spoiling my wife.”

I smile softly, shaking my head. “I still haven’t got used to you calling me that.”

Van’s grin widens, and he tilts his head, leaning in just a bit closer. “What, ‘my wife’?” His voice is playful, teasing.

“Yeah,” I admit, feeling the warmth in my cheeks. “It still sounds… surreal.”

He takes my hand again, this time bringing it to his lips for a gentle kiss. “Well, you’d better get used to it, Mrs. McCann,” he says, a hint of that cheeky grin still playing on his lips. “Because I’m not stopping anytime soon. Took you long enough to accept me ring, and I won’t drop it now.”

I can’t help but laugh, the sound bubbling out of me. “Alright, alright… I guess I can get used to it.”

He looks at me, his eyes softening. “Good, ‘cause I quite like saying it.”

“And I quite like hearing it,” I murmur, placing my hand next to his on the table. Our rings catch the light, shimmering together, a small but powerful reminder of everything we’ve been through, of how far we’ve come.

Van glances down at our hands, then back up at me with a smile that’s equal parts soft and full of pride. His fingers brush lightly over my hand, his touch sending a familiar warmth through me.

I smile, my heart swelling at the sight of our rings side by side. “Still can’t believe we’re here sometimes. Married, a baby, sneaking out to date nights…”

“Sometimes I can’t believe what we went through,” I say quietly, my eyes tracing over his features. “One day I was a roadie you were screwing, and now I’m your wife. And God… we were impossible.”

Van laughs softly, shaking his head. “Yeah, we were.”

I can’t help but smile at the memories. “I was so jealous of you fucking every groupie, I started making moves on the other boys… and that’s when you got crazy.”

He grins, his eyes lighting up with amusement and something deeper, more reflective. “I remember. You had me completely twisted up.”

I roll my eyes, but there’s a fondness behind it. “Oh, please, you loved it. The chase, the drama…”

Van leans forward, his voice low and playful. “Maybe I did, but you’re the only one who ever got under my skin like that.” His hand squeezes mine, his gaze softening. “And look where it got us.”

“Do you miss it..?Being on stage?” I ask, my voice soft, almost hesitant.

Van pauses for a moment, his thumb still brushing against my hand as he thinks about it. “Sometimes,” he admits, his gaze drifting off slightly as if picturing it. “I mean, it was a rush, you know? The energy, the crowds… there’s nothing quite like it.”

I nod, understanding. I’ve seen it—the way the stage lit him up, how he thrived in the spotlight. “It must feel different now.”

He smiles, but there’s a wistfulness behind it. “Yeah. But…” His eyes come back to mine, and his smile deepens, more genuine now. “I wouldn’t trade what we have now for anything. Not for the biggest stage in the world.”

I smile softly. “Really?”

“Really,” he says, squeezing my hand gently. “Our life now… it’s better. Harder in some ways, but better.”

I lean back in my chair, feeling the warmth of his words settle in. “I’m glad. I’d hate for you to regret any of it.”

“There’s not a single regret,” he says firmly, his eyes never leaving mine. “Not when it comes to you, to us. Besides, we’ve still got a whole lot of life ahead of us. Who knows? Maybe I’ll get back up there someday. But for now…” He pauses, smiling. “I’m exactly where I want to be.”

Van grins as he kisses my hand, then flags down the waiter to order more wine. I raise an eyebrow at him. “Feeling bold tonight, huh?” I tease. “If you keep going like this, I’ll be asleep the minute we walk through that door. You know wine makes me sleepy.”

He smirks, that mischievous glint back in his eyes. “Yeah, but it also makes you horny.”

“Van!” I exclaim, my cheeks flushing as I swat his arm, trying—and failing—not to laugh.

He chuckles, clearly pleased with himself. “What? Just stating the facts, love.”

I smirk, leaning in just a bit closer. “Let’s see how well this wine works then,” I say, sliding my hand under the table and resting it on his thigh.

Van’s eyes widen for a second before his grin deepens, his body tensing under my touch. “Oh, you’re really testing me now, aren’t you?” he says in a low, amused tone.

I chuckle softly, feeling bold. “Just keeping things interesting.”

The waiter approaches, interrupting our moment, and Van quickly orders dessert—a chocolate lava cake, my favorite. I can’t help but smile at how he always remembers the little things.

Once the waiter leaves, Van leans in again, his voice dropping to that intimate whisper. “You know, I’ve been thinking about you all day. About what I want to do with you when we get back.”

I swallow hard, my breath catching at the promise in his words. “Oh really? Care to share any of those details?”

His smile is wicked as he leans even closer, our foreheads almost touching. “Let’s just say, I have a few ideas that involve you, me, and a whole lot of… exploring.”

I can feel my cheeks heat up, the anticipation coursing through me. “Now you’ve got me even more curious.”

The waiter returns with our dessert, breaking the moment, but the air between us is charged. Van takes a bite and then offers me a piece, our eyes locked. As I take it from him, I can’t help but feel like the night is just beginning.

I lean in a little closer, feeling the warmth of the wine spreading through me. “I was thinking…” I say, my voice playful, “since I’ve got a whole new pair of these,” I gesture subtly to my chest with a teasing smile, “maybe we could make good use of that.”

Van’s eyes darken slightly with a mixture of surprise and amusement as they flicker down, then back up to meet mine. His grin returns, slow and undeniably wicked. “Is that right?” he murmurs, his hand moving to gently brush over my thigh under the table. “You don’t have to tell me twice, love.”

I laugh softly, feeling the rush of excitement build. “Just thought I’d give you some ideas for later.”

He leans in close, his lips barely brushing my ear as he whispers, “Trust me, I’ve already got plenty of ideas.”

My breasts had become so sensitive after pregnancy and feeding that some nights, Van could get me off just by touching them.

I loved that feeling—the way he could elicit such a strong response with just the gentlest of caresses. It was a new kind of intimacy, one that felt deeply connected to our shared experience as parents.

As I sit across from him in the restaurant, a playful smirk dances on my lips. I lean in closer, lowering my voice conspiratorially. “You know, there are nights when you barely have to do anything. Just a little touch, and it’s like—bam!”

Van raises an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. “Oh, really? Is that so?”

“Yeah,” I say, feeling a rush of warmth spread across my cheeks. “I didn’t expect that sensitivity to come with pregnancy, but it’s… well, it’s nice. You know how much I love it.”

“I think I’ve noticed,” he replies, his voice low and teasing. “And don’t worry love, I will definitely take advantage of that newfound sensitivity tonight.” He says, ordering the check.

As we finished our dinner and walked into the hotel room, the door softly clicking shut behind us, Van wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. I could feel the warmth of his body, the familiar scent of him that I had missed so much.

His hands drift down to my ass, his fingers brushing over my dress and making me shiver.

“(Y/N), I don’t want to push you,” he says, gesturing to the drawer of the hotel, “but if you want this, just know I’m ready for you.”

As I reach for the drawer, my heart races at what I find inside. It’s like he’s read my mind, echoing the thoughtful gestures he used to make when we first started dating.

There’s a small pack of condoms, a bottle of lube to help with the pain, and even a bar of my favorite chocolate—everything I could possibly need for this moment.

I bite my lip, feeling a rush of emotions. “You really thought of everything, didn’t you?” I say, glancing up at him, my heart swelling with appreciation.

“I wanted tonight to be special,” he replies, a hint of nervous excitement in his voice. “I know it’s been a while since we’ve had a moment like this, and I want you to feel comfortable.”

His sincerity washes over me, easing the lingering doubts I have about my body and what’s to come. “Thank you, Van. It means a lot that you put this together,” I say, feeling a mix of gratitude and excitement

“Just remember, it’s all about us, okay? No pressure.” He takes a step closer, his presence grounding me. “We can take things at your pace I know you’ve been in pain since birth.”

I swallow at the reminder, remembering how healing from a tear and a C Section has been a slow journey.

But there’s also a part of me that’s ready to move forward and reconnect with him on an intimate level.

“Okay,” I whisper, my voice barely audible as he pulls me closer, pressing his lips to mine. It feels like I’ve been living without air, and with the touch of his lips, I feel myself come alive again, the spark between us igniting anew.

“I love you so much,” I whisper, feeling like I might burst from the pressure of keeping my feelings in. He’s just so kind to me, so supportive, and when he holds me like this, it feels like everything will be alright. “Every time you look at me… every time you touch me or tell me you love me…” I sigh, shaking my head.

He leans back just a bit, his eyes searching mine. “Tell me, (Y/N),” he says softly.

“It makes me feel so loved,” I whisper. “Like I’m everything to you.”

“You are.” His voice is firm, his expression soft, “You’re the fucking world to me, love. I can’t live without you. You’re my fucking everything.” He drops his head against my forehead, his breath warm as he presses kisses against my skin. “I’m so in love with you,(Y/N), more than words can say.”

I squeeze my arms tighter around him, the words settling deep into my soul. “Me too,” I reply. “I love you more than you’ll ever know.”

We sit like that for a while longer, our bodies wrapped up in each other, the tension between us soft and comforting. This is what I needed—what we both needed—a reminder of ourselves, of us as a couple.

And slowly, my thoughts drift back to the drawer behind us—the condoms, the lube, the chocolate. It’s Van’s way of saying he’s ready, that he wants this moment with me.

As I glance up at him, his gaze is still on me, his eyes warm, his mouth curved into that familiar gentle smile.

I lift my hand up to his cheek, his stubble rough against my palm. “Do you think it’s time?” I ask softly, my voice quiet in the room. “For us to take the leap and see what we’re capable of?”

Van swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing as his eyes search mine. “If you’re ready, I’m ready, (Y/N),” he says quietly. “I just need to know you’re sure.”

I smile softly, feeling the heat between us shift. “I am.” I take in a deep breath, my heart pounding against my ribcage.

Van watches me, then nods, standing up and leading me towards the bedroom. “Let’s do this then,” he says, his voice full of confidence. “Let’s go back to us.” As he wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me closer, I feel the warmth spread through my body, a spark reigniting between us.

“We’re finally doing it,” I say, my voice almost whisper, as I let Van pull me against him.

He nods, leaning in for a kiss. “Yes we are. Let’s see how this go.”

I breathe in, smelling his scent, his body heat radiating against mine. I feel his fingers slip under the edge of my dress, running up my thigh and resting against my ass. I shiver at the touch, my skin prickling with goosebumps.

He takes of my dress in one quick motion and I close my eyes, tensing up a bit.

When I open my eyes again, he is kneeled in front of me.

And as he settled his hands on my hips, Van kissed my C-section scar, his tongue sliding over it, making me shiver at the unexpected rush of sensations.

I’ve never been comfortable with this scar—it’s a reminder of the physical changes my body has gone through, a mark left by the journey of bringing our baby into the world.

For so long, I struggled with feeling less than beautiful because of it, but in this moment, the way he lavishes it with attention makes my heart race.

“I’ve never loved you more,” he murmurs against my skin, and I feel a warmth spread through me, melting away my insecurities for just a moment.

“Van,” I whisper, my voice thick with emotion. I want to tell him how hard it’s been to accept these changes, how every glance in the mirror used to remind me of my old self, the slim girl I used to be. “You don’t have to—”

But he pulls back just enough to meet my gaze, his eyes serious and sincere. “I want to,” he insists, and there’s a determination in his voice that takes me by surprise. “Every part of you, every change… it’s all beautiful to me. It’s all mine.”

His words wash over me, soothing some of the raw vulnerability that usually accompanies my thoughts about my body. In that moment, I feel seen—not just as a wife or a mother, but as a woman who has grown and evolved. I meet his gaze, searching for sincerity, and find it there, glowing brightly.

“Really?” I ask, the question slipping out before I can stop it. There’s a flicker of doubt in me that fights against the warmth he’s creating.

“Absolutely,” he replies, the passion in his tone intensifying. “You’ve given me everything, and I will love you forever for it. Your strength, your beauty… it’s all so much more than you realize.”

Those words stir something deep within me. The way he looks at me, with so much adoration and respect, makes me want to lean into that feeling. I realize that this scar, which I’ve tried to hide, is a testament to my journey, to our journey together.

“Do it again, Van,” I pleaded, my voice a mix of longing and urgency. The way he made me feel, his kisses igniting something deep inside me, was intoxicating.

He didn’t need to ask what I meant. With a knowing smile, he shifted his attention back to my scar, kissing it gently once more. This time, he took his time, trailing soft, warm kisses across my skin, his lips worshipping the very thing I had once dreaded.

I felt my breath hitch, my body responding to his touch in ways I hadn’t anticipated. Each kiss was a balm to my insecurities, dissolving the shame I’d carried for so long. I closed my eyes, surrendering to the moment, feeling the warmth radiate from where his lips met my skin, spreading through me like a wave of acceptance.

“See?” he murmured against me, his breath warm. “You’re perfect.”

I opened my eyes, meeting his gaze. “I didn’t feel perfect before,” I confessed, my voice barely above a whisper.

He paused, looking deeply into my eyes. “But you are,” he said firmly. “This scar, it’s a part of you—part of our story. And I wouldn’t change a thing.”

I smiled, warmth flooding through me at his words. “Thank you,” I said, feeling a newfound sense of pride swell within me. I leaned in, capturing his lips with mine, pouring all the love and gratitude I felt into that kiss. It was a promise to embrace all parts of myself—past, present, and future.

Van pulled back slightly, brushing his thumb over my cheek. “You ready to make some more memories tonight?” he asked, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

I grinned, feeling lighter than I had in a long time. “Yeah.”

“Come on, then” Van drops his head to mine, murmuring into my ear.

“Get on the bed,” his voice turning commanding. “Lay back and spread your legs. I want to see how wet you get when you’re turned on.”

I lick my lips, then turn to lay back on the bed as instructed. “Like this?” I ask, spreading my thighs wide. He watches me with a hungry gaze, and I know I have to give him a show.

I turn around, lifting my ass so Van can see me clearly. He swallows hard at the sight, his eyes darting down to the tiny scrap of lace that I’m wearing. His fingers are stroking his cock through his trousers, and I know he wants to fuck me badly.

I crawl to him, laying back and beckoning him on top of me. He comes to me willingly, his body pressing down on mine as his lips claimed me. He kisses me deep and dirty, his tongue slipping into my mouth as his hips rocked against mine.

He growls low in his throat, and I know that this is going to get wild.

“Look at how hard your nipples are,” he growls, his hands cupping my tits and lifting them up. “They’re begging to be fucked.”

I whimper, feeling a flush spread through my cheeks. No one’s ever talked dirty to me like this before.

“You read my mind,” I say. “Fuck them. Please.”

He pushed my tits together and squeezed them around his cock, moaning as his length glides over my nipples. “Feel how hard I am,” he hisses. “You make me so fucking hard.”

He thrusts back and forth, my tits bouncing with every stroke. I wriggle underneath him, spreading my legs as wide as I can. “Van,” I gasp, my clit rubbing against the inside of my thigh. “I’m going to cum.”

“Cum for me,” he growls. “Cum all over my cock.”

I moan, my hips arching off the bed. The feeling of his cock gliding between my tits is incredible, and the friction of my clit against my thigh is sending me higher and higher.

“Oh fuck,” I cry out, my fingers gripping his hair as I cum hard.

Van groans as I writhe underneath him. “Fuck,” he growls. “(Y/N), Fuck. I’m going to cum for you.”

I watch him with wide eyes, feeling his cock jerk between my tits. He moans and shoots ropes of cum all over my chest, the warmth spreading across my skin.

He collapses on top of me, kissing me deep and slow as our hearts slow down. “Fuck, that was amazing,” he pants.

I grin against his lips. “Wasn’t it? I’ve never done that before.”

“Yeah, it was hot,” he agrees. “But now I need to taste you. Let me get this cum off your chest.”

I giggle, but I know he means business. He gets off me, then grabs a towel and wipes me clean. He tosses it aside and reaches for the chocolate, breaking off a square and popping it into my mouth.

“Mmm,” I moan, feeling the velvety texture dissolve on my tongue. “God, this is good.”

“I knew you’d love it,” he says. “Now, spread your legs again.”

I obey, watching him as he positions himself on the floor. His eyes are ravenous as he takes in the sight of me laid out before him, and I feel my clit twitch with anticipation.

“You ready for this?” he asks, his hands reaching up to pull me to the edge of the bed. “You want me to eat your pussy?”

“God yes,” I moan, leaning back on the pillows.

Van gives me a devilish grin, his fingers reaching for my panties. “These are cute,” he says, “But I need them off you now. Lift your ass up.”

I lift my hips as he pulls them off and tosses them to the side. Then, he pulls my thighs apart, kneeling between my legs.

“Oh fuck,” he growls. “Look at your pussy. You’re so fucking wet, baby.”

“I know,” I whimper. “I’m dripping for you.”

His eyes snap up to mine, dark with lust. “Show me,” he growls.

I spread my legs wider, my hips rolling upwards as I feel my pussy gush. “See?” I moan. “See how wet you make me?”

“Fuck yes,” he pants, reaching out to trace a finger through my folds. “You feel how wet she is?” he asks, stroking over my clit.

“Oh fuck,” I gasp. “Van. Oh fuck.”

“You ready for my mouth?” he asks, bending forward to lick up the slickness he just created. “Ready for my tongue?”

“Yes,” I gasp.

He laughs low in his throat. “Good girl. Let’s get you ready.”

He grabs a pillow, shoving it under my hips. “Lift your ass up again.”

I comply, feeling the pillow lift me up so I’m at the perfect height for him. He reaches for another and puts it under my back, propping me up so I have a full view of him.

Then, he gets back to work, his fingers spreading my pussy wide as his mouth descends. His tongue laps up my juices, teasing over my clit before stroking between my folds.

“Oh fuck,” I moan again, my head tipping back as pleasure washes through me. “That’s it.”

“Mmm,” he hums, his tongue lapping up more of my slickness. “You taste so good. Like fucking heaven.”

His fingers tighten on my thighs, his grip rough. “Keep your legs open wide for me, baby. I need to see your pussy.”

I shiver at his command, my clit throbbing at his dirty talk. He knows exactly what to say to get me going.

He continues licking me for another few seconds, then pulls back with a groan. “You look so good, spread out for me. Do you like how I’m eating your pussy?”

I nod eagerly, my eyes meeting his. “Yes,” I whine. “Yes, Van. I fucking love it.”

“Do you?” he asks. “I want you to cum in my mouth.”

“I will,” I gasp. “Don’t stop.”

He chuckles darkly, his eyes glinting with satisfaction. “Don’t worry, baby,” he murmurs. “I won’t let you down.”

With that, he plunges his tongue back into my folds, stroking over every inch of my pussy. His lips seal around my clit, sucking gently, and my head falls back with a moan.

“Oh fuck,” I whine, my hips bucking up against his mouth. “Oh fuck, Van.”

“That’s right, baby,” he groans. “Cum for me.”

I feel the familiar rush of pleasure building low in my stomach. His tongue is relentless, lapping over my clit as his fingers tease over my entrance.

I gasp for breath, feeling my climax build higher and higher. His mouth is expert, teasing me just right.

“Oh fuck,” I wail, my whole body shaking with pleasure. “Van!”

“Cum,” he growls, looking up at me with fierce eyes. “Cum in my mouth, baby. Show me how you taste.”

He buries his face in my pussy again, his tongue stroking over me until I’m cumming hard. I cry out, pleasure rushing through every inch of me as I shatter around his mouth.

When I finally come down from my orgasm, he looks up at me and grins. “Fuck,” he says, wiping his face off with the back of his hand. “You taste amazing.”

I flush, looking down at him shyly. “You really like it?”

“Baby,” he says with a groan, standing up and climbing back into bed. “I fucking love it. Let me show you.”

He reaches down to grab the chocolate, breaking of a piece and popping it into his mouth, kissing me.

I can taste the chocolate on his tongue, a mix of sweetness and warmth that sends a rush of desire coursing through me.

The familiar taste of my favorite bar mixed with the warmth of Van’s mouth feels like pure heaven. I melt into the kiss, sucking his tongue lightly, savoring the sweet richness that lingers between us, a perfect blend of indulgence and intimacy.

Pulling back just enough to gaze into his eyes, I feel a rush of affection. “You always know how to spoil me, that’s fucking hot.”

“Only the best for you, love,”

As we kiss, he reaches down and grabs his cock, stroking it slowly. “Open your mouth,” he commands, looking at me with a dark gaze.

I open my mouth wide, watching him with a greedy gaze as he comes closer.

He pops his cock in my mouth, groaning as my lips seal around him. I suck him down deep, taking him all the way to the back of my throat.

“Fuck, (Y/N),” he hisses. “Fuck. Suck me good for me.” He grabs my hair with one hand, wrapping the other around my throat. “Suck me, baby.”

I feel his cock twitch in my mouth, and I take him as deep as I can.

“Mmm,” he groans, watching me suck him. “You take me so well.”

I whine, taking him deep. He lets out a guttural moan as he thrusts into me, my mouth dropping open around his cock. I let him use my mouth, taking him however he wants.

“Fuck,” he gasps. “Your mouth feels fucking good, baby. Let’s see if you can deepthroat me.”

He pushes his cock even deeper, his grip on my neck tightening. “Breathe through your nose,” he says, and I suck in a breath. “That’s good,” he pants. “Now swallow.”

I swallow around his cock, feeling my throat work around him. “Fuck, baby,” he moans, thrusting even deeper. “You’re so good at this. Let’s cum for me.”

His cock swells in my mouth and he cums hard, his hand still tightening around my neck. I swallow as much as I can, my mouth overflowing with his seed.

When he’s done, he pulls his cock from my mouth and collapses on top of me. “Fuck,” he sighs, kissing me deep. “I’ve never felt anything that good in my life.”

I smile against his lips, feeling proud of myself. “Do you like the chocolate?” I ask.

He grins, nipping at my lower lip. “Baby,” he groans. “That chocolate is the best I’ve ever tasted.”

I smile, feeling a wave of happiness rush through me.

He pulls me on top of him, cupping my breasts in his hands. “Mmm,” he says, nuzzling my neck. “I feel so good with you. Like everything just clicks. Fuck, I don’t want this night to end.”

I grin at him, snuggling into his embrace. “You make everything better.”

As we keep holding each other, my heart just swelled with emotion.

“Baby,” I say softly, my heart full as I look into his eyes.

“Hm?” he replies, a hint of curiosity in his tone.

“Thank you so much for tonight,” I continue, my voice earnest. “It means the world to me.”

He smiles, his gaze warm and sincere. “I won’t ever forget this, either, love. This is just the beginning for us.”

I take a breath, my thoughts drifting to the intimacy we’ve shared. “I’m sorry we couldn’t… connect properly,” I say, my cheeks warming as I refer to the lack of penetration. “I didn’t mean to hold back.”

Van reaches for my hand, intertwining our fingers. “Hey, it’s okay. We have all the time in the world. I’d never want you to feel pressured.”

I nod, grateful for his understanding. “I just want you to know it’s not about you. It’s just… I’m still getting used to everything.”

He squeezes my hand gently, his thumb brushing over my knuckles. “I get it, (Y/N). Your comfort means everything to me. We’ll take it at your pace. Tonight was about reconnecting, and we did that beautifully.”

His words wrap around me like a warm blanket, easing my lingering insecurities. I lean in, resting my head against his shoulder, feeling safe and cherished. “I love you,” I whisper, the words pouring out with all the honesty I feel.

“I love you too, more than anything,” he replies, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

I run my fingers through his hair, now longer and softer than I remember.

During the middle of my pregnancy, I asked Van to keep it long, and he hasn’t cut it since. I absolutely love it. There’s something about the way it frames his face, giving him that effortlessly cool look, the kind of look that makes my heart skip a beat.

“You know, I think I might be responsible for your hair being this long,” I tease, a playful smile on my lips.

Van chuckles, leaning into my touch. “You might be onto something there. Can’t say I mind it, though. I like how it feels when you play with it.”

I smirk, my fingers gently tugging at the ends. “It’s definitely a hit with our little guy, too. Have you noticed how he’s always grabbing your hair?”

“Of course! It’s like he thinks he can use it as a handle,” he replies, laughter in his eyes. “I can’t blame him; it’s pretty irresistible.”

“It is,” I agree, picturing our son’s tiny hands grasping at Van’s hair as he giggles, mesmerized by the wild strands.

“How do you think he is handling it?” I ask, glancing up at Van with a hint of concern mixed with curiosity. It’s strange to think of our night away from him, even if it was just for a few hours.

Van chuckles softly, a playful glint in his eyes. “I imagine he’s probably sleeping like a champ,” he replies, a proud smile creeping across his face. “At three months old, I doubt he even knows we’re gone.”

“He’s probably snoring just like his dadda,” I say, laughing softly as I picture our little boy tucked away in his crib, his tiny body peacefully asleep. Van chuckles, his eyes sparkling with affection.

“It’s true!” I continue, unable to contain my amusement. “Every time I hear that little snore, I can’t help but smile. It’s like having two snoring giants in the house.”

Van shakes his head playfully. “I can’t help it if I’ve got a bit of a deep sleep, can I? Besides, it’s a sign of contentment!”

“Right, contentment,” I tease, raising an eyebrow. “More like you’re in a competition with the baby to see who can make the loudest noise while sleeping.”

“I’ll take that challenge!” he laughs, feigning a serious expression. “But in all seriousness, I love that he’s got my traits. It’s like a little piece of me in him.”

“Definitely,” I say, my heart swelling with love. “He’s such a mix of us both—your eyes and my smile. I wonder what else he’ll inherit from us as he grows up.”

“Hopefully not my snoring,” Van jokes, and we both burst into laughter.

“Don’t worry; I’ve got earplugs,” I reply, grinning. “But honestly, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I love our little family.

“I just hope he’s not too confused. He’s probably all snuggled up with your mum, blissfully unaware that we’re out here having a date night.”

“Exactly. He’s probably dreaming about his next feed,” Van says, leaning back slightly. “And my mum will be spoiling him rotten. She loves having him around.”

The thought of our son being with Van’s mom fills me with warmth. “I just hope she’s not too tired. He’s been pretty active lately.”

“She’ll be fine,” he reassures me, his tone soothing. “She’s a pro. Plus, she’s always up for an adventure with him. I mean, have you seen the way she lights up around him?”

“True,” I say, my heart swelling at the thought of his mom with our little boy. “I can picture it now—her singing to him and making silly faces. He’s definitely got her wrapped around his finger.”

Van grins, his eyes sparkling with affection. “And he’ll grow up knowing that love is all about connection and having fun together. It’s good for him to see us happy, too. These moments are important.”

“Exactly,” I reply, feeling a sense of peace wash over me. “I want him to know what love looks like, even if he’s too little to understand right now.”

“Absolutely,” Van agrees, his hand squeezing mine gently. “And one day, when he’s older, he’ll appreciate the sacrifices we make for each other and for him..Thank you for giving me this family,” Van says, his voice low and sincere. He looks into my eyes, and the depth of his gratitude washes over me like a warm wave.

I feel my heart swell at his words. “It’s not just me, love. We did this together,” I reply, feeling a rush of emotion. “You’re an amazing dad.”

He shakes his head slightly, a gentle smile playing on his lips. “Yeah, but I wouldn’t be half the father I am without you. You make it easy to be present. You’ve created this beautiful life for us.”

I smile, feeling a warmth spread through my chest. “It’s easy when we’re in this together. I love watching you with him. You’re so natural at it.”

Van leans back in the pillows, his expression turning contemplative. “I never thought I’d be this happy, you know? I always wanted a family, but seeing you and our boy, it’s like… everything I ever dreamed of.”

His words resonate deeply within me, stirring a mix of pride and love. “I feel the same way. It’s like we’ve built something incredible from scratch, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

“Exactly. I can’t believe how lucky I am,” he says, his gaze softening. “You’re my rock, (Y/N). You keep me grounded.”

“And you keep me inspired. We’re a team, and I wouldn’t want anyone else by my side.”

He squeezes my hand, his thumb brushing over my knuckles. “Here’s to us, then—our family, our adventures, and all the love we share.”

“Cheers to that,” I say, lifting my imaginary glass of wine with a smile.

And as I hold onto his hand, I know that we’re just getting started.

[lumineescente]

Hi amelie <33

💫, 🎀, 💞, 💥, and 🧿 for the ask game <33333

hiii!!!! thank you for your ask!! <3

💫my favorite is when people tell me that they felt things, any kind of feelings really, (well as long as they are okay you know like they agreed to feel even uncomfortable feelings when reading angst). It makes me think oh i did well because for me when I go to read / look / see a art piece i want to feel things, if it just does nothing in me then it means it was not for me! so i'm glad to read that i can give feelings to others

🎀aaah this one is a nice one! hmm well it is a bit hard ahaha i think.. it's good that i try more to explore various stuff and that i'm less and less afraid of experimenting stuff, that i feel like i let myself be more self indulgent even if i'm hard on myself still. oh and!! i write friendships very well imo, i think i do that well, and my dialogues are good

💞i answered that one in my other post here!!

💥i chose (i have fics with less but they are REALLY old so) this fics that has like 24 kudos, it is a pentagon fic, the star he holds actually i really enjoyed writing this fic, this is also an exemple of me going on something i didn't feel like doing a few years ago (homophobia and coming to terms with homosexuality + non historically accurate setting (70s??)) and i jumped into it while listening to a song, i conveyed the vibe i wanted, talked about what i wanted and with the feedbacks i got, it worked very well. I'm proud of this one

🧿this is the hardest part for me because i feel very self conscious and i tend to compare myself a lot. It happens to me a lot tbh to not be satisfied with the hits or kudos and realize oh god some people are getting so much and i don't what am i doing wrong. It stopped me from writing for a year almost entirely (also i was living with a person that kept bringing back the amount of kudos and comments they had so i felt terrible and anxious all the time) and i was having serious panic attack about it! which sucks!! so now, i'm trying to, 1) look less at stats and 2) to feel extremely grateful with what i get it might be one comment or three or four but the fics that didn't work "well" gave me the most beautiful comments i've ever received, sincerely, so i make myself remember that. Plus if thirty people came to me to tell me directly in front of my face "i love what you do" i'd be overwhelmed with joy irl, so i put it that way. And I learn to be more grateful every day every time i post a new fic, if it pleases just one person, then so be it, this person is precious!

hehe hope i didn't ramble for too long <3 thank you again

[sapphicflower-ao3]

For the fanfic writer ask: 2, 22, 34, 35! (Only if you want to answer them ofc)

OMG SO MANYY thank you my dear!!!! <3 <3 <3

2. Why do you write fanfiction?

at first, it was because i was thinking about a very particular interaction b/w two characters (from stranger things) and a thought came to mind: "what if you wrote about it?" and i was like. no way would i ever write fanfiction! But then one day i got bored and wrote it and published it and it was THRILLING. and now i write it because i love writing abt my OTP bkdk and i love putting them in situations together ahaha

22. Do you listen to anything while you write?

i neeed music to write! for some fics i listen to the playlist i make for it, but for fics w/o specific playlists i usually just play my bkdk one.

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you're particularly fond of.

whenever i get this question i always paste an excerpt from "in your dreams, nerd" but it's just my favourite soooo i don't care. anyway:

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

if i wasn't an overly self-conscious person i would be quite happy to ramble forever but i'm too awkward to do that andjkana i will say though that i'm really excited to finish my spy AU bc i thought of so many funny lines for the last chapter and i can't wait to add them in.

i will at least post a preview of the funny line i thought of last night: {if you want to avoid any and all spoilers for "lover's compass" don't read it!} {also slightly NSFW?}

"Well first, you need to get through the A.S.S."

"Excuse me?"

"The Automated Security System!!"

actually now that i've written it down it's no longer funny BYE

[droogiesanddiscourse]

HCs: Dating Travis Bickle (SFW)

Original message: “hi! i'm so glad i found your blog, you're doing a great service to us all lmaooo may i request a dating travis hc? could be sfw or nsfw, that's up to you 😊”

AAAA absolutely! I’m glad you enjoy it ahaha y’all make me love writing aaaa! Ok so I’ll do SFW and NSFW headcannons, but I'll make them into separate posts so everyone who wants to read can enjoy :) I hope that is okay~

Warnings: Toxic relationships, manipulative behavior from Travis. But in character for who he is. 

• Starting off, your relationship with Travis is a bit rocky. Not getting much attention from anyone, as well as being incredibly touch starved has done damage on his ability to reciprocate physical and emotional affection with a partner.

• He will become obsessive, we already have seen this with his past relationships. He will conform his entire personality to suit whatever your needs are. He pretends to be interested in all the same things you are, and it can be a bit creepy. Especially when you know he’s lying just to impress you, or make you like him more.

• You’ll have to try and coax the “real” Travis out of him, telling him he doesn’t have to pretend to be anyone but himself - you love him for him. Whatever... “he” really is underneath that hard exterior.

• Odd dates at odd hours because of his work, and the long hours he puts in as a result of it. Sometimes he’ll ask you to go out for coffee and pie with him at 2AM after he gets out of work. I mean, NYC is the city that never sleeps, there is always something to do. He’ll pick you up, of course. Or just, go for a drive with him as well. He’s a sightseer, so he’s always game for an unplanned trip, especially if it takes the two of you out of the city.

• He’s a bit uncomfortable in public, always asking you to order for him, or to buy the tickets at the movie theatre. He’s got some odd social anxiety issues, but only when it comes to certain activities. 

• One of his favorite places to go is the aquarium. There is something so peacefully serene about the ocean creatures and the blue lights surrounding the enclosures that he just. He’s obsessed. He could stand and watch all day if you’d let him.

• Travis will always reach or grab for your hand in public too, messing with your hand and fingers. He’ll often pull each individual digit, counting them over and over again in a barely audible whisper. He has a couple of these little impulses, which sometimes seem bizarre, but you know he does it to calm down. 

• You practically never meet up at his apartment, he doesn’t want you to see how he lives. It’s always at an outside place or at your apartment. Which you don’t mind at all. Travis will often sleep over when he’s off work at your place, he always feels safer there anyways. And with you. 

• Tends to be a bit of a stalker. He’ll have to know what you are doing, when you are doing it everyday or else he will lose his mind. He is incredibly self conscious and scared you will be hurt, kidnapped, or are sneaking behind his back to see another lover. Travis has horrible paranoia that goes oftentimes unchecked, so you’ll have to reign him in. 

• Will be like “I drove by your apartment today, wanted to check in on you. You didn’t answer the door, where were you?” Travis can get set off very easily, even if you explain to him that you just needed to run to the store for a item you forgot for tonight’s dinner. He can be a bit scary, he has a hard time determining what is socially acceptable or appropriate in a relationship. 

• Your friends are now Travis’s friends. He needs to know what kind of people you are hanging around, and if they are good for you. He’ll be quite vocal if he thinks you are hanging around with the wrong crowd, trying to get you as far away from them as possible. You cannot fall to the same corruption he’s seen so many others fall to.

• Hold him. He practically is begging to be held and feel your soft touch. He finds the entirety of society to be nothing but filth - nothing but disgusting creatures who prowl the streets at night in search of sex, booze, and drugs. But in your arms, all of that melts away, and for all he cares he could be on a different planet than Earth.

• He doesn’t talk too much when he doesn’t have anything important to say. So there are silent nights where the two of you just go about your activities in front of the Television set, or while the record player plays in the background.

• Travis will always be staring you down, it can kind of be unnerving. He just loves watching your every move, how you carry yourself, your specific mannerism that are just so uniquely you. Travis will commit every single one of these to memory. He might pick up on some of them himself, like copying the way you sit, or certain catchphrases you just can’t seem to shake. 

[miraculouscontent]

Ask Explo--

...you know what, you’re right. Name change effective immediately.

Askplosion #10:

(unrelated to everything by the way but I DEMAND THE ANON WHO MENTIONED “REMARRIED EMPRESS” A WHILE BACK COME FORTH AND ANSWER FOR THEIR CRIMES. IT’S SO GOOD BUT IT’S UNFINISHED AND I’M HOOKED, HOW DARE YOU)

Asks responding to previous posts:

It’s okay! I figured that was what it was but it’s been so loooong.

Ah, wow.

Um, that’s definitely not a part 2; I think that’s more like a four-parter/five-parter or something.

Sorry! No can do!

That’s totally fair!

I think the reason I so quickly agreed with it is like--

I’ve been watching the Inuyasha sequel and it’s not like I don’t think the narrative’s apparent punching bag Moroha (who is fourteen years old) shouldn’t be punished when she does something wrong/sneaky/manipulative, but they punish her as if she’s Miroku (who was eighteen years old).

Basically, I want the punishment to take the age into account, or at least only affect Marinette on a more personal level and not be “Heart Hunter” where they take totally understandable feelings of heartache (remember, it wouldn’t have mattered which miraculous she took because Hawk Moth got the Miracle Box and Fu regardless; even beyond her emotions, I feel like she chose the best option available to her considering which temps she knew the location of) and then punish her for them by memory wiping Fu and taking away all of her temps and giving Hawk Moth the grimoire translation.

Yes!! I really wanted to respond to this one, thank you! (It’s this one and then there was another one talking about Luka and Adrien, then talked to me about how I refer to Luka as “soft” but not in a bad way; I unfortunately don’t remember the whole thing.)

Ahaha, and yeah, I feel you. Anti-salters are a very strange conundrum I still haven’t figured out; like, I get not liking salt, but...

I mean, when I don’t like certain content, I just blacklist it. If I end up seeing it anyway due to cross-tagging or a lack of tagging, then I just blacklist the person themself. You won’t see me going after people for that very reason; I only see what people send/ask me if it’s content I don’t like.

I’m glad you’ve found some peace in this blog! Hopefully it continues to be that way for you in the future!

(and yay, a fellow INTJ!!)

New Asks:

There are female writers? ;P I just assumed they were all locked in a closet until the male ones were like, “okay, pretend to help us here, we need one female writer to claim girl power.”

As for Ladybug all like, “Cute, isn’t she?” I think it was rhetorical (she could also be messing with him but “Glaciator” tells us that she didn’t know he crushed on her so who knows). The writers do this thing where Marinette is all panic-y and occasionally self-conscious as herself, but then as Ladybug, she suddenly gets a bit of an ego. I think it’s meant to be there in order to make Chat Noir look less... idk, “obnoxious” when he starts boosting his own ego; trying to balance the two by giving them both big heads, so to speak.

Honestly, I feel like Adrien needs less screen time. :|

Even when he’s not on-screen, characters are usually talking about him, or you see his face in Marinette’s room/somewhere in Paris. I’m become so jaded by the guy that I don’t even think it’d matter if they remade the series and gave it a “totally good and interesting Adrien.” That’s how badly the show has made him out for me; “Adrien Agreste” the character is just... sigh, I’m so done with him.

And yeah, this whole idea about, “Marinette is [x], we need more AAAAAADRIEN!” comes off really bad, lol, especially when Adrien has very little going for him.

(this ask ends off like there should be a part 2 but there isn’t one in my inbox, so sorry if there’s meant to be something else!)

The exact lyrics according to the wiki:

My wish for a cat who's in love, with our own Ladybug. Is that he'll get what he's always wanted! She doesn't know she loves him, only sees Adrien, But Christmas miracles always happen!

Yeah, especially nowadays, those lines bothers me. Not only does it imply “true selves,” but that it’s Chat who should be getting what he always wanted and Ladybug is the one with a problem.

Like, excuse me?

Probably Stormy Weather, even in the first episode. Ladybug and Chat Noir couldn’t even touch her until they arrived on top of the TV station.

+ With all those effects and shots, it made it feel more action-y than typical episodes.

Marinette, Aurore, Luka, Anarka, Jagged...

basically any name that I haven’t really heard before (”Luka” makes me think of Vocaloid but the Luka there was female), or a name that relates a lot to the character (like “Aurore” for “aurora” since she loves weather things).

dfjbghfkdgfdgnjfdg this anon really like, “I NEED ANSWERS!!!”

It’s as if these characters hit 18 or something and just grow overnight, I swear. I’m hypothetically fine with some more variety in character height (it’s not like the show tries to be realistic, after all), but maybe don’t give us official heights if they’re gonna be this weird/inaccurate.

Especially when they change it just for the sake of a shot anyway. If you watch “Simon Says” when Ladybug and Adrien stand next to each other while looking at the picture of Adrien’s mother, the very next close-up has an obvious difference in their heights from what you just saw.

They’re 3D models!!! This shouldn’t happen!

I... honestly never thought of the “less threatening” thing! Dang!

And yeah, Marinette isn’t helpless or incompetent, but because of the Adrien crush, it makes her that way at times since she’s always falling on him and--

...ugh, actually, yeah, don’t wanna think about those implications. Hard pass.

Gross.

I’m not familiar with that one, though Astruc deletes his tweets all the time (there was one tweet where he confirmed that Luka was poor and it only exists in screenshots now because it didn’t get archived and he deleted it almost like he realized that he was pointing out the blatant classism in the show, oops).

Yeah though, I haven’t seen anything like what you’re describing. Sorry!

It’s okay! Sorry for having you clarify but him choosing and Marinette deciding to never give it back are very different things.

I don’t recall Chat Noir having much purpose in the final fight (in terms of both contributing and actual fighting; I know Cataclysm broke the object to release the akuma but was it needed?) so Marinette might either go cat-less or get a temp. Plagg could also be helpful in his own right because he’s small and blends in with the night, so he could hypothetically sneak up on the bad guy.

Afterwards, there’d need to be a new cat, but Adrien would also have to reconsider his actions and really think about what happened. I could also see Plagg going to Adrien’s house, half to apologize for giving the idea to Adrien that Adrien leave without telling Ladybug, but also half to call him out for giving up without consulting anyone. Adrien is a lot of conflicting things (see Adrien’s passivity compared to Chat Noir’s recklessness) so he’d have to find a middle ground within himself.

Marinette might carry Plagg around in her purse for a while and let Plagg have a say in who he goes to. Plagg might grieve for a bit over not having Adrien around (even if Adrien was flawed, Plagg didn’t ask for any of this so Marinette is doing her best here).

O-oh.

That’s always the rough patch with “endgame ships.”  Once it’s obvious to the audience that they’re endgame, no more effort needs to be put into them.

The other thing too is how Kagami, for example, is friends with Marinette. Even once Adrimi sinks, she’ll presumably stay friends with her. Luka, meanwhile, is Juleka’s brother.

They have lives outside of their love interests. Adrien is so into Ladybug that he doesn’t have that; I mean, Nino is Adrien’s best friend like once in a blue moon.

The entire class is just watching an episode and then calling on raised hands to answer what was wrong with what they just watched.

“Everything?”

“I mean, yes, but I’m sorry, you have to be more specific to get credit.”

I think Aeon herself is fine. It’s mostly just her transformed and that transformed name that I have a problem with (she doesn’t even look uncanny so I don’t get it). I heard there was something wrong with the name “Aeon” but searching the name doesn’t give me anything I would qualify as such so I have no idea. I just wish she was given a little less “I’m programmed to--” (makes her seem less sentient) and more “[anything that doesn’t have to do with pushing the love square]” because I feel like they might’ve done the latter to make her more “likable”? I think fans of anything usually like the “matchmaker” character provided it’s for a ship they like. Also strange that they make her a robot but Max and Markov don’t extensively interact with her, but that’s a nitpick and not a criticism of her character.

...I’m rambling, my bad lol.

(Ohhh, she was supposed to be a mummy? Like, foreshadowing her “dying”?? That went right over my head but I guess that’d be where the name Uncanny Valley came from? No clue.)

Best case scenario is probably the middle or the end of Season 4.

And yeah, it really doesn’t matter to me what they do with the love square. Marinette had gone through too much suffering and the show goes out of its way to show how much stress Marinette is being put under (and also keeping Luka away during episodes like “Gamer 2.0″ even when it makes sense for them to be there, as if trying to make sure Marinette doesn’t have enough moments with him to forget Adrien).

Like, ah, yes, I totally believe that Marinette is in a position where she can make reasonable decisions about her love life while all circles of her life are on fire.

If the Sonic movie of all things can have an interracial couple, there’s no reason why this show can’t, just saying.

And, even with Marinette, she’s white-passing (according to what basically everyone says, I’m really awful about recognizing race so this isn’t my field; I wasn’t aware that Ondine was Asian, for example).

Does Nadja count? Manon’s dark-skinned (I’m still not over the fact that all the kids in this show are dark-skinned; it’s not like it’s a problem from a representation standpoint - though all the kids are also all generically bratty/whiny so there’s that - but the percentages in this show are weird) while Nadja is really light-skinned, meaning either a dark-skinned husband or Manon is adopted.

Though I guess the problem then is that we don’t know, so there’s no established couple there.

Non-Miraculous Asks:

w-who gave you the right to say such things????

Uhhhh, that might be too broad of a question, I’m sorry!

I know this isn’t satisfactory, but I will say that my favorite genre is Fantasy/Romance (it’s why I adore Red Shoes so much; by the way, an anon asked for my opinion on that a while back and I will get to it! I’d need to watch it again to get screenshots) and my least favorite is probably Tragedy/Horror.

I don’t think I’ve watched enough to really be able to say? I’ve kind of been all over but I’ve never fully gone through any of them outside of Miraculous. I’ve seen bits of Sailor Moon, Tokyo Mew Mew, Star VS the Forces of Evil (don’t know if that counts), and I meant to watch Yuki Yuna is a Hero but never got around to it. I saw the entirety of Puella Magi Madoka Magica but you guys know how I feel about that one.

Maybe Cardcaptor Sakura by default then? It was definitely not perfect but I liked some of the character dynamics (I also have a clipcut of it - basically where I go through a series/movie and cut out parts I don’t like so it’s only good stuff - so I’m cheating a little) and the male love interest was a tsundere type that I actually ended up liking, which is really rare.

!!! That sounds sweet~ I know Sailor Moon is popular so I’ll definitely take your word for it on that one.

I would also accept a “reincarnated”/”destined lovers” trope if maybe the ship themselves are the one who set it up in the first place. I have a Lukanette AU, for example, where they basically got together and then prayed to the shrine of the renewal god that they’d “always be together,” which ended up allowing them to reincarnate over and over (as if they set up their own soulmate AU ;P) and continuously find each other.

Though I guess that’s not technically a “meant to be trope,” but still, it’s a form of it but where it was totally consensual on both sides.

Also, I finally thought of a show that ended with the ship I wanted: Gargoyles. I didn’t see the entire series, mind you, but I saw most of it and Goliath and Elisa were just... quality, I adored them.

+ With Beauty and the Beast being my favorite Disney movie, they fit right in with my tastes.

I forget that AangToph (I think the “official” name for the ship is Taang, but don’t quote me on that) exists sometimes, maybe because I’ve never shipped Aang with anyone; I’ve got no problems with the ship though.

Ugh, and this is what I mean when I talk about people who set up these reasons behind people shipping something based on what they saw a few people do. It’s like, “you only ship Adrimi/Lukanette to spite Adrienette!!”

Meanwhile, me having shipped all three at one point and then dropped off the love square.

Also, me shipping Zutara has nothing to do with it being dark/edgy because I’ve never seen it that way (intriguing, sure but dark and edgy? lol) and also avoid dark/edgy ships like the plague.

I still laugh at people who are like, “you can’t ship it because it’s not endgaaaaame!” as if shows can dictate how and why I enjoy something. Like sure, if you want to let a show/movie spoonfeed you how you’re supposed to feel, then by all means, go ahead.

I suppose people may be theoretically happier that way, but it doesn’t make for an analytic mind.

I legitimately thought that “AssClass” must’ve been the actual name for something until it registered with me what it actually meant.

And eh, I guess it depends on the comparison and how accurate the comparison actually is? Like, comparing Puella Magic Madoka Magica to Miraculous... they’re not really close at all, but comparing... idk, Bunnyx to Homura or the concept behind “backfiring wishes”... maybe?

-

(note that the rest of this post is more Puella Magi Madoka Magica salt so you can stop reading here if you’re not interested in that; I’m not sure if this is all the same anon but I don’t mind letting people vent so I let them go off~)

why can’t we just have nice things

I agree, and I give a little eyeroll every time it’s like, “oh, this person had [miraculous]”

+ even just in general, I feel weird about any show that mentions/implies that real world famous people are [x] or [y] in their show. It breaks my immersion; real world locations are one thing but when it’s specific people (unless they’re made up characters like Santa Claus) or games just--break me.

I also don’t know what to think when there aren’t magical boys but you have these magical girls in this frilly outfits/skirts. The demographic is girls so I presume the reason must be like, “you can look pretty and still beat people up” (;P) but having so many magical girl shows without a hint of a magical boy makes me suspicious that it’s for fanservice. Sailor Moon has Tuxedo Mask but I also don’t know what that guy did outside of the meme of him doing nothing so I’ve got no clue.

(edit: I should correct myself that I’m not talking about Sailor Moon specifically; I don’t know magical girls that well, though I do know there are ones clearly intended for fanservice (you could say that for anything, to be fair, but still). It’s just that I see things like super short skirts or very “questionable” shots and I’m just like, “hm”)

Hmmm, good question. I feel like there has to be a lot but I’m also the type who doesn’t watch a lot of TV lol. I’m just familiar with cliches and tropes and such.

The reason I try not to use “ism”s of any kind is mostly because it’s too broad. Like, you know how the English language only has one way of saying, “I love you,” but other languages like Spanish have multiple?

It’s like that, and sometimes I think it’s too easy to throw those words out there. A “small” (possibly completely unintentional/misunderstood) offense is sexism, and then a “large” offense is called the exact same thing. I’d rather go into why something is sexist than just call it that, y’know? The only exception I make is “classism” because I feel like that’s not as... I dunno, divisive?

Anyway, for that same reason, I can’t answer firmly that, “Madoka Magica is sexist.” I will however say that it makes me uncomfortable with how the show makes out the girls being emotional because they’re young and female and then proceeds to make their life a living hell before they’re old enough to properly answer to it (I know that’s the point but that kind of makes it worse?). It doesn’t help with how all the girls have different personalities, so it’s not like you have only “crybaby girls” who are being taken advantage of; it’s basically like... all girls.

Not helped is the fact that their soul gem not only deteriorates naturally, but it can also do so faster if the girl falls into despair, which then turns them into a monster (and I know it’s kind of like an akuma thing, but the fact that it’s only girls is... I dunno, it comes off wrong?). It seems cheap that the soul gem deteriorates no matter what so it constantly needs fed even if the girl is consistently happy.

I would probably opt for the show being centered more around Kyubey being new to this or something - like, magical girls are a new thing - and then have Kyubey being surprised because they presumed that the soul gem would deteriorate naturally since “emotions are powerful but destructive to the person having them,” but then all the girls team up and help each other work out their problems. Maybe the reason magical girls are usually alone isn’t even because of the grief seed (I think that’s what it’s called?) thing not being able to be shared, but because Kyubey intentionally separates magical girls so they can’t do what the main group is doing, but Madoka is so into the idea that, “We shouldn’t have to be alone,” and so she’s constantly pulling all the girls together, which keeps them healthy.

Maybe Homura’s backstory could be that Madoka originally was more sheepish and more afraid to put herself out there, especially since she was a magical girl (who are encouraged to go it alone), which is why their soul gems were both deteriorating; they were friends but kept more of a distance, or maybe they were a team but that’s all they were. Then Madoka gives Homura the last grief seed to save her and that’s what inspires Homura and makes her see Madoka as something more than a teammate, which is why Homura actively tries to save Madoka specifically (which then encourages Madoka to want to keep everyone together as friends).

In the case that Kyubey doesn’t separate them out of concern of fRiEnDsHiP, but for another reason altogether, and then it’s ultimately their own downfall when they allow the girls to hang out and realize that it’s doing a lot of good for them.

“cute and innocent”

That was exactly it. It’s on Kyubey’s trivia section on the Puella Magi Madoka Magica Wiki.

Before the anime's first dark plot twist aired, head writer Gen Urobuchi said on his Twitter account that the "Kyu" in Kyubey's name comes from the English word "cute". This was a lie meant to further mislead fans into thinking that Madoka Magica is an innocent happy show. In a later episode, it was revealed that "Kyubey" is, in fact, short for "incubator".

In my personal opinion, a spoiled plot can’t be “ruined” if it’s a good plot. If you told me that Kagome was trapped in the Modern era for three years and then decided to stay with Inuyasha at the end of Inuyasha, it wouldn’t/shouldn’t decrease the value when I finally see it for myself because it’s good. That’s not to say that everything should just be spoiled right out of the gate, but it’s saying that maybe your plot isn’t good if you have to rely on shock value to make it work??

I FEEL THAT “ASSIGNING IT TO THE WHOLE GENDER” THING SO BAD. It just adds to my “the girls all have varying personalities so it’s not like Kyubey’s only after emotional crybabies or anything” salt.

I have no idea about any of the stuff about the writers so I can’t confirm or deny them. I will very much agree on the target audience thing though, especially with the whole “keeping the dark plot a secret” because really? Who is this for then? Like, the first two and a half episodes are for one demographic and then the others are--???

I dunno. Me personally, I just like feel good stories. I do like some good conflict and drama (for context, Remarried Empress is basically a webtoon that gives you things to feel salty about and then makes its own salt fic as its plot, allowing for endless streams of feels and catharsis, so I’m definitely not against drama), but there are other times where I just want to feel good watching something.

I feel like the show expects the characters to be selfless/perfect and then punishes them even though it’s their writing that’s causing them to act out. I can’t really talking about “out-of-character” but sometimes it’s just obvious where “we did this because we needed a plot/conflict.”

Like, hello? We don’t need the main characters screwing up; why can’t we just have some feel good thing where they take the day for themselves (seriously, imagine a Miraculous episode where Chat Noir actually tells Ladybug to take a couple days for herself, like maybe someone else gets the earrings for a few days as a temp while Marinette gets to breathe; IMAGINE IT). Not everything needs to be high-stakes to be interesting and you need those calmer moments so that the action-packed ones feel more intense.

SAYAKA DESERVES BETTER.

I feel like the magical girl genre as a whole can be way more complex than it’s made out to be. I think people hear the word “magical girl” and think “cute girls in short skirts talk about girl problems and fight evil with the power of friendship and accessories.”

Ugh, just the mention of Rebellion makes me sigh internally.

Congrats on working on your own magical girl story! I hope it goes well for you!

I know it’s not technically a magical girl show, but there was also Totally Spies that Astruc worked on to some degree (I think there was some characters who were based on/a loose reference to the mains from that show but I don’t remember exactly).

The thing about the female characters suffering is that they could make for good lessons on positively directing one’s emotions (like Usagi from Sailor Moon, for example, maybe having a problem with taking her anger out on her friends, but learns that she can save that rage for the bad guys; “Gamer 2.0″ from Miraculous could’ve done that, honestly, by having Ladybug absolutely WRECK all of her gaming opponents in “violent” (cartoon violence obviously) fashion). It’s just a shame that it’s not taken advantage of.

Sayaka??? Selfish???????

*does not compute*

(Also, I wasn’t tired of them, don’t worry! It was a little overwhelming in my inbox but it’s me who’s allowing all the asks to flow in so the blame isn’t on you lol.)

I’m not sure where this obsession came from with, “you have to be selfless and you’re not allowed to use your powers for yourself.” It’s like the world’s going to end if a character leaves to go Self-Care or something. I think what happened is that shows got this idea that promoting only the giving of others is great and it’s not important to take time for yourself (even with “Gamer 2.0,” it was still Marinette playing games with everyone else, and they treated her dedication and seriousness like a bad thing when she literally did not have time to waste and they didn’t give a reason why it was good for her to take a break, only that she should).

This usually leads to the “demonization” of characters who sport a lot of self-confidence or any sort of ego. It works on both sides; Marinette is a punching bag because of her anxiety and occasional lack of confidence, but if she had an ego as Ladybug, there are parts of the fandom who deem her “obnoxious” (i.e: “Reflekdoll”). There’s a delicate balance between “be confident” and “be humble” and it’s a tightrope act.

[sou-ver-2-0]

Writing Master List

I love writing analysis and fanfiction for Your Turn to Die. Here, you can find links to all my writing. Spoilers abound!

Meta I’m Proudest Of

Why Calling It “Logic Versus Emotion” Makes Sense

Sou Hiyori and Kanna’s Sister Parallels

I was wondering why Sou had a zero percent survival rate…

What is Sou proudest of?

What is Kanna proudest of?

What is Keiji proudest of?

Unpopular opinion about Keiji

What are your thoughts on Nao as a character?

Why pushing Fake Reko is logical and sparing her is emotional

Shin vs. Kanna choice: each “valid in its own way”

That was a real comedy of errors on your part, Shin

What “Things” did Shin learn at Sou’s House?

If I could kill Keiji to save both Kanna and Shin...

Thoughts on queer-coded villains and Shin

I make Shin say five nice things about Keiji (not meta, but important)

Some jumbled thoughts about Redemption, and Part 2

How different do you think the story would be if Shin were a girl?

Theories

“Midori is Meister’s son,” and other Sou theories <- my favorite theory!

The Hades Incident, the Present Death Game, and the Role of the Man from the Memorandum

Rambling about Meister Family Theory

A Quick Keiji Theory

I’m staking my pride on this one: Keiji won’t die in the coffin. Part 1 and Part 2

Implications of Kanna being Original Sou’s blood relative

The Mystery of Anzu’s High Survival Rate

Fanfiction

My username is Florencetheflowerfairy on Ao3! Any fanfiction I write will be tagged “my fanfiction” on here.

I haven’t yet posted this to Ao3.

My fanart

Soup Hiyori

Happy birthday Kanna!

All of my meta

How does Sou deal with pain?

When does Sou feel safest? What would others change about him?

What would the others change about Sara?

What do I wish to see happen with Sou?

Chapter 3 Prediction: Sara will lose Keiji

Sou & Keiji’s relationship thoughts; and Personal Headcanons

Opinion on Midori / Original Sou; and Opinion on YTTS

Thoughts on Kurumada’s Partnership with Sou and Kanna

What calms Sou when he’s upset?

What does Sou wish he could change about himself?

Who would be Sou’s favorite fictional character?

What would EVERYONE change about Sou?

How did both Sous do in school?

Who does Sou want to please the most?

How would Kanna spend her money?

What calms Kai when he’s upset? How does Kai deal with pain?

How does Kanna do in school? What’s something Original Sou lost that he would love to have back?

What’s something I wish had happened with Joe?

Unpopular opinion about Q-Taro

What’s something I wish had happened with the Yabusame siblings?

Unpopular opinion about Kai

Unpopular opinion about Original Sou

Who would I vote for in the Second Main Game?

Laughing at Q-Taro in Russian Roulette

Speaking of “I laugh at inappropriate moments in YTTD”

Math Saga (Collection of Theorizing Posts about the Percentage Papers)

Why Kanna can’t take the scarf

More Scarf Meta

I think Shin should fake amnesia in the zaniest way possible, please

Thoughts on Mr. Policeman is Joe’s Dad Theory, Parts 1 and 2 (Some of these thoughts are outdated because I don’t think Keiji knew Joe’s last name in the beginning.)

If I ever seem too harsh on Keiji, please keep in mind

We can hear Joe’s music theme in Midori’s music theme

Thoughts on the Floor Masters

Did Shin send the Sacrifice Card to Joe?

What if Joe had one month to live?

What is Original Sou proud of?

Reading Shin as Queer

Alice and Pain

What would other people change about Kai?

Could Shin and Keiji’s roles switch?

What was Keiji like before the shooting?

I encouraged Sister to vote for Kai in Practice Round

How does Original Sou/Midori sleep?

Who do you think Keiji would bond with the most?

Analysis of Sara’s vote in the Practice Vote

Massacre Ending Thoughts

Thoughts on Naosara?

Dummy Bullet Saga (How did Shin know about dummy bullets??)

Keiji is my Confront Character

What will the fallout with the dummies look like?

Keiji seeing the percentage papers is the simplest answer IMO

Thoughts on Keialice

Thoughts on Joesara

Shin Tsukimi could have DIED ON HIS BIRTHDAY?!

Shin is Poor! Part 1 and Part 2 and Part 3

One more funny story, on a walk with Sister...

How would Shin have fared in the Death Game without the Sou persona?

Is Shin too good for this world? (Reaction to above meta)

How would Joe, Kai, and Mishima approach the Second Main Game vote?

What do you think would be Shin’s partnership ability?

Thoughts on AI personalities

Reaction to ‘Sara gets the Sage Card’ Theory

Have you considered the implications of 0.0% vs. 0%?

Foolish Sara AU

When does the Death Game take place, and how long are they there?

Shin’s relationships with Reko and Gin

“When you drink, you gotta be careful not to get swallowed up yourself.”

Judge Keiji by the fact that he’s acting like a cop

I’ve switched to calling him Shin! 

What was Shin like in the years after Original Sou died, but before the Death Game?

Headcanons and Shin, Kanna, and trading tokens

Analyzing Shin and Sara’s doll placements in Safalin’s lab

Shin’s reaction to Sara’s “Haven’t we always been the bestest of friends?”

Scenario: Keymaster Kanna takes Shin’s key necklace instead of his scarf

Artists should draw Kanna grieving Shin however they like

Nao and Shin’s friendship

“I happen to like people with nice personalities”

I’m just putting these here so I can find them if necessary: 1, 2, 3

What if Shin thinks Sara is an adult?

Shrodinger’s Lock Saga (Many theories came from speculating about Asu-Naro’s weird locks in Sara’s first trial!)

Shin emulating Sou, oh no

Some thoughts on Shin and Alice, and the darker side to their relationship

A Serious Analysis of the Collarbone Sprites (& other Shin sprites)

Midori and Joe Sprite Parallels

Do you think Ranmaru is more or less reliable than Keiji?

Ranmaru and Keiji Parallels and Thoughts on Keiji flirting

Ranmaru and Keiji reacting to Joe

Out of the cast, who do you think is most likely to be the mastermind?

Miley vs. Gashu thoughts

Megumi Sasahara theories and headcanons

I love that this game’s heart is so earnest

AU where Shin has the Sacrifice, and he can’t pick Kanna

Theory/Headcanon: Sou-Shin-Sara-Kanna three year age gaps

Scenery Paintings in the Gallery

Kanna and Original Sou Parallel - “creepy smiles”

Undertale Parallels, and making Original Sou sympathetic

Kai and Original Sou Parallels

Fic ideas: Green-haired characters, and Shin + Sara Friendship

I love Fake Reko so much!

What if the decision to push Fake Reko affects what happens with the dummies?

Follow-up to above meta about Fake Reko

What if Joe died in his First Trial?

Reaction to Keiji Discourse about flirting, Part 2

Reactions to Fem!Shin:

Kanna’s perspective, Bath Scene Shin, More Bath Scene, Keiji flirting with Shin, I DON’T CARE HOW SEXY HE IS, Am I a lesbian

Will the dummies want to fill in for their counterparts’ lives?

Q-Taro Pacman Sister Theory

Poison Stinger analysis and Rio Ranger’s characterization

Megumi returns as a doll theory

More thoughts on “Back Up Candidates” Theory

Thoughts on AIs representing younger personalities

What if the current Death Game is another simulation?

Shin and Q-Taro ages musings

Shin and Sara ages musings

Honorifics Analysis: Part 1 and Part 2

Everyone’s music preferences headcanons

Shin’s thoughts on Gin in Logic Route

What if Shin died and Kai survived in the Second Main Game?

Imagine Trans Kanna

Thoughts on the names Sara “suspects” when learning that there is a human from Asu-Naro among us

Why doesn’t Shin challenge Keiji for lying that he’s a detective at the start?

Shipping

Which death hurt you the most?

Who do you think is overrated? Who do you think is suspicious?

Shin-Sou roleswap AU

Did you ever notice how Shin is crying during the First Main Game?

How do you think the characters sleep?

What if Shin became Sara’s ally instead of Keiji?

Seven Deadly Sins in YTTD

Song Analyses

“Rat” by Penelope Scott

“Villainous Thing” by Shayfer James

“Nearly Witches (Ever Since We Met)” by Panic! at the Disco

“Butterflies and Hurricanes” by Muse

"House of memories" by Panic! at the Disco

More fun posts

Sister tag (All submissions by my sister)

Sometimes I get self-conscious for loving Sou Hiyori so much

Thinking about how our Sou Hiyori is a queer-coded villainous type

Picrew of the Greenblings

Fannish ramblings and Speculation about Voting for Keiji in 2nd Main Game

Sou has a halo in the manga

Sprite Parallels between Kanna, Sara, and Sou

Confession: Character development is more important than plot twists

Star Wars KOTOR musings

My Favorite Thing about Sou and Sara meeting

Another Greenblings Picrew

How to roast my fave

Are the greenblings next to each other??

Me feeling soft about Sou x Alice and Sou x Kai in spite of myself

I’m too much of a nerd for tumblr

Picrew of Green-haired characters and Sara

Cute Kurumada and Kanna headcanons

Do it for Nao

Happy birthday Keiji, from Sou

Danganronpa Thoughts as of 10/22/20

Top 3 emotional moments

Comparing Eye Sizes

I’m all caught up with 3-1A as of 10/24/20

Link to my “Shin attacking Inbox” edit

I am my PFP

“Disclosure” apparently means “Coming Out”

What did you name your Midori?

Do you think Shin was a gamer?

PMMM Thoughts: Logic vs Emotion

Why would you make Shin a tank?!

Dracula is Sou and Shin is Renfield

Among Us Headcanon

I just think Kanna having the Keymaster first is good drama

So long you fucking fascist (posted on 11/7/20)

Please don’t send me leaks!

Also how are we going to tag spoilers...? (11/12/20)

oh no I’m getting sentimental

Shin and Sara’s confrontation over the smartphone remains my favorite thing ever

Reactions to “I make Shin say five nice things about Keiji”: 1, 2, 3

A Rewarding part of my blog

My undying love for Britney Spears

“Ahaha, I’m glad you remembered my name.”

I love this picrew for the Greenblings

“Saw” and “Cage” on Google Translate

What if there were two Gonbee Yamadas?

Put them in meme boxes

Keiji’s emo eyeliner

Shin can smash something! and part 2

Acrostic Poem for Sou Hiyori

Midori’s canon voice

“Sou” puns

Time sensitive questions!! 1 and 2

All the characters’ ages

Do you think Shin swears?

Let’s not pit bears and twinks against each other!

Here’s how Shindemption can still win

tfw you draw fanart in time for Kanna’s birthday

Keiji accuses Shin of breaking Mishima’s monitor even though he KNOWS Shin is innocent

Q-Taro and Shin college AU

Kugie’s ghost haunting Keiji

Christmas 2020: Part 1 and Part 2

Picrew of Shin and Sou, High School Days~

I struggle to write villains

I play Villains Bingo with Shin

…

This list will be updated sporadically as I write more! You can always use the “mine” tag to find any worthwhile original post I make.

Please feel free to talk to me about YTTD anytime! I love hearing from you all! It keeps me motivated and makes me happy to meet people!

[wanderingchocolateeclair]

For the asks, 11, 18, 19 for Edgeshot and the soggy noodle (Jeanist) please?

Oohhhh, thank you for sending one in!! I actually did number 11 for these two way back when I reblogged this for the first time in this post (one of your asks actually aha) but I’m going to write out some more/re-write what I’ve written slightly different most probably lmao

Warning: will be mentions of bad coping mechanisms, depression, death and self destructive tendencies and thoughts. Please read with caution. I’ve put number 19 under the cut for this reason.

11. Bad or petty habits.

Okay well, they’re both incredibly bad at dealing with stress and tend to have a habit of overworking themselves.

Jeans gets incredibly fidgety when nervous, however always tends to pick and scratch at his hands. So he’ll always have something with him that he can fiddle with, such as a ring or charm or just the hem of his clothes.

He also is really bad at taking care of himself for some reason, mainly with things like injuries and stuff like that, but still.

Also. Petty habits? His puns. Please, it’s his puns he just cannot stop himself.

Shinya overworks himself, as said earlier, but it just has to be emphasised.

Sometimes (very rarely) he can tend to make a snarky remark relating to someone complaining about their family, with a response along the lines of “oh yeah same” or “ahaha yeah, it’s really annoying huh?” or literally just hitting them with the “yeah, they’re dead.”

He mostly does it to villains as a way to make them actually hesitate, when they say stuff like “oh I’ll kill your friends and family blah blah” he simply answers with a “too late” and he hates how spontaneous he says it.

Obviously, this doesn’t happen often because, well it’s kinda obvious and he has respect towards his family, but some days he just cannot help himself, he considers it a very bad habit.

18. Things they’ll never admit.

That they are tired. Or stressed. Or overworked. Or mildly injured.

They are so stubborn and they just will not admit it.

Also, when one is mad at the other, they don’t like admitting when there is something that they’re mad/wrong about.

They are just incredibly stubborn and will wait for ages. And eventually they feel bad but are still stubborn so don’t want to admit that they want to speak to the other.

Not that they need to admit when one of them feels lonely or sorry or just really bad about something when they aren’t speaking. Because it’s definitely plastered all over their body language.

(To those who don’t want to read number 19 because it does have some pretty heavy angsty stuff, please feel free to leave it here ❤️)

19. People they’ve hurt or indirectly killed, and how it affected them. (Read carefully, contains some sensitive stuff as specified in my warning ^^)

Okay, like I said, these are pretty heavy and contain quite sensitive stuff so please be careful. I’ve wanted to talk about these particular headcanons for a while, but didn’t know how to.

I have a headcanon that Tsunagu has killed someone in the past, and possibly more than just one person. It was all accidental, well, mostly.

When he was younger, about 12, I can’t remember what age I said in ‘When it Rains...’ but he was young. He couldn’t control his quirk and his quirk often would be way too powerful for him and his body to handle.

He found himself rushing to help some kids from a villain but his quirk ended up going haywire and he basically strangled the villain to death, whilst doing serious damage to himself and hurting his sister by doing so. He was just so angry and out of control, his mind was screaming at him.

This spirals him into a very very dark mindset, and he starts to blame himself for everything. The kids at school knew what happened and called him a “freak” and he had no friends.

As time went on, he often got told that “his quirk wasn’t suited for being a hero” and taunted that he should just stick to “making dresses and playing hairdressers” which had a really big effect on the way he saw himself.

He started to agree with them and when they told him that “you can’t be a hero now, you killed someone! Better to just start fresh, yeah?”...he also agreed...and well, I’m sure you can imagine what that leads him to, since I’d rather not go into the details of that too much at the moment...

His sister has to feel all of this pain that he goes through, and this makes him feel even worse.

He manages to get through this with the help of his sister, and a couple of friends that stuck with him throughout it all. And he goes to UA with his mind still clouded with doubts.

He knows he’s weak, he’s thin and not of a suitable fighting form. His quirk is too powerful for him to control and also not suitable for being a hero, but with the help of others and teachers and family he manages to pull through.

As he becomes a hero, he starts to feel better and more proud of himself, however there is still that little comment at the back of his mind telling him that he is weak.

Everytime he fails to rescue someone, or accidentally injured or goes too far with capturing a villain, it takes a huge toll on his self confidence and he starts spiralling again. Even if it wasn’t his fault he will still take the blame. It all brings him back to that moment when he was 12.

This often leads him to overworking himself to the point of passing out or collapsing, and often one of his friends or interns will have to usher him to somewhere he can recover. He lets his health deteriorate and lets any injuries go untreated.

He is the type of person to carry every failure, tiny mishap and any failed missions, completely on his own back. He converts it all to regret and this makes him feel weak, stupid and helpless. He could be on the other side of town and hear of a villain attack that got someone injured and he’d blame it on himself. These thoughts get carried with him until he finally just has to break down and let it all out.

This usually happens at home, where it’s obvious to anyone that he needs to talk about it, even if he doesn’t want to. Or at their usual top 5 meet ups, because they understand and they all listen to him and comfort him beca they know how much it affects him.

Often, in these mindsets, he will end up over using his quirk and injuring himself with his recklessness, however....this time it’s quite deliberate...he just lets it happen.

This carries on until he’s quite a bit older, and even then he still gets moments where his mind starts to slip.

When he meets Shinya, it helps a lot with his mental health, due to them having so much in common (and just being a couple of generally traumatised and depressed heroes who can barely look after themselves properly). They help each other get through the hardest parts and they understand when one feels the way they do.

(I’ve got many other little things that relate to this rather depressing headcanon, but it’s a heavy subject so I won’t write them out unless someone asks and actually would like me to, just for me to make sure you guys are comfortable and okay)

—————got to switch to Shinya now aha—————————

Okay so we have his backstory (which I am still working up the motivation to finish the whole thing)

Shinya ends up killing a large group of the villains that ambushed his village. He didn’t know how it happened, how he did it, or anything like that. But in a moment of rage and adrenaline and pure unbridled emotion, he shot forwards and killed them instantly, brutally.

In the moment he didn’t care. He was scared and had just seen his family and friends die in front of him.

However, once he learnt exactly what he’d done, and how severe it actually was, that’s when he started to feel the regrets.

At first it was not much, but as he started to try to live a normal life again and interact with others, that’s when it became an issue.

He noticed how others glared at him. He noticed the fear in the other people’s faces as they walked past him. The looks on their faces as they acknowledged the broken, empty face of this child and how scared they were of his past.

Slowly this all made him very self conscious and worried about how others saw him. He started to feel more doubtful and less trusting than he was, even with barely any trust left in him.

He trained and trained, overworking himself and using his quirk way too much. This allowed him to gain experience, yes, but it also drained him of having any sense of what a childhood should be - draining his memory of living a normal life.

People were always intimidated by him, and over the years he got used to it, but there are always times where he felt that no one would see him how he really was. Just a lonely person, robbed of a happy childhood and innocence and someone who can’t find it in him to trust anyone ever again. The only person who would understand was his sister, since she wen through the exact same experience and was with him through it all.

When he meets Tsunagu, he finds himself starting to trust again, and found that he was one of the only people that he felt safe with.

Then he started meeting other pro heroes, some with tough backstories themselves, and it just made him feel less alone.

Of course, there will be days where his past haunts him, and he feels the blood of all the lives he’s taken and failed to save on his hands and it terrifies him. It drags him down. These days he ends up shutting himself away.

He doesn’t take care of himself properly and ends up collapsing and becoming ill and rundown.

However, these moments happen. And being with those who he finally trusts and those who are there to help him feel safe...that’s what allows him to recover

That’s what allows them both to feel human once again, despite their pasts and doubts. Despite their flaws and failures. They seek happiness in each other and they find safety in their friends...and that’s what keeps them going.

Thank you for asking! Sorry for how morbid that end one was, but it really is one of my most prominent headcanons for these two, especially poor jeans, and I actually kinda feel a little better to have you guys know it now, so that when I sort of reference it in my writing, you know what I’m going on about.

Please send some in guys, I would love to give you some headcanons on whatever character you’d like to send in! Love you ❤️ This is the post for the questions!! I’m going to bed for now, but please feel free to send some in for me to answer tomorrow, I’ll get to them as soon as I can!!

[witchofrvnswood]

a thorough rant on why i despise awwp // part 1

TRIGGER WARNING: EATING DISORDERS, FATSHAMING, AND BAD BODY IMAGE ARE DISCUSSED IN A LATER SECTION OF THE POST

It’s been a long time coming guys,,,

But here it is.

I don’t know how this is going to end but it won’t be pretty.

So, AWWP is the sequel to SGE, a book in which the author claims he addresses themes such as feminism, girls vs boys, and what not. 

I feel like the book fails on many counts and does not even follow what Soman Chainani has described it as and intended it to be.

The first part of this rant will be centered around the themes of this book. The next part will touch on the plot and some of the characters in this book.

Let’s dissect this, shall we?

Toxic Feminism

God, this one drove me beyond insanity and is probably the worst plot point this book has to offer. I don’t even get what the author achieved by writing this ?? Instead of showing girls being progressive and realizing their true individual power and potential after an entire school year of being told they were objects and being trained to be beautiful and submissive to buys, he decides to show extreme feminism where girls just disown anything, ANYTHING that relates to femininity. 

Of course they don’t have to wear makeup. Of course they don’t need long, luscious locks. But to claim that girls only have these assets to impress boys is sexism in itself. “Third, we debeautified makeup as a pawn of patriarchy designed entirely to attract men,” the teacher went on.” Not to mention, Evelyn Sader, the woman pushing this agenda, isn’t following any of these rules herself and is running this sexist school while trying to trap two teenage girls just to get a man’s favor ??? What ?????

And of course. The whole enslaving boys thing. So many people falsely believe that feminism is about hating boys and that girls are supreme which is why so many people scoff at it. Because if this is the way feminism is being represented in media, in a CHILDRENS’ book, of course people are going to misunderstand it! This puts such a bad name on feminism and is just downright insulting to everything the feminist movement has worked for and now the author is pushing this idea into young children and teens. 

This entire book is set up to tell the readers that girls cannot be independent because they’ll end up enslaving men which cannot happen because they need men and can’t live without them! This idea is even pushed by Hester, HESTER of all people, who is said to hate boys. The way she says it makes absolutely no sense to her character whatsoever. ““Shut up,” Hester boomed, spinning back to Agatha. “No one likes boys! Even girls who like boys can’t stand boys! They smell, they talk too much, they mess up everything, and they always have their hands in their pants, but that doesn’t mean we can go to school without them! It’s like stymphs without bones! It’s like witches without warts! Without boys, LIFE HAS NO POINT!” 

What,,, why,,,, why would you make Hester say something to that effect ? She basically said that girls need boys to function and that “their lives are pointless without boys”. I’m sorry,,, I just,,,, guys, I lost it at that point. Take a shot every time this book makes me lose brain cells, much?? :p

The ending really defines this theme in this book. The last book ended with two girls choosing each other and this book went on and on about how that was WRONG, how only a girl and boy could be together. And then this book ends with a girl and a boy choosing each other and now that is supposedly “the right ending”. We know it’s not from Book 3, but does what’s said and done in Book 3 even matter since they ended up together anyways??

Overall, I just,,, I just don’t know where Soman was going with this. I just don’t. He doesn’t seem like an anti feminist but I feel like what he does is, he takes a controversial issue, puts his own problematic spin on it, tries to write it as overdramatic and satirical and just ends up writing a really close minded take on it which ends up affecting his readers, whose age demographic is usually 8-12.

He means well, he really does, and I know that. But he needs to step up his game. I honestly don’t know why his editor, who is a woman, let him publish awful messages like these,,, maybe he’s really convincing? We know he can’t take criticism though (*cough* instagram live *cough*)

But this leads to my next point: The body image messages in this book.

Body Image

TRIGGER WARNING: I DISCUSS GLORIFIED EATING DISORDERS, FATSHAMING, BAD BODY IMAGE, ETC. IF ANY OF THESE ARE TRIGGERS FOR YOU OR MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE, STOP READING. THE RANT ENDS AFTER THIS SECTION.

Whew wee, where do I start. 

Here is another example of how Soman’s self claimed satire goes way too far and ends up being destructive.

The way the Evergirls are looked down upon by Sophie and Agatha for starting to eat more and not care about their weight or beauty is appalling to me. Sophie has always prioritized looks, which makes sense for her character to be disgusted by the Evers (not okay though!) but Agatha’s disgust makes no sense. This girl refused to take showers or brush her hair just a year ago, so I don’t know why she’s so disgusted by the Evergirls carelessness of their appearance.

Reena is even described with clear disgust in the book about how she had acquired a large bottom by eating chocolate and even candy is found repulsive by Sophie and Professor Anemone and the judgement they show towards the Evergirls for eating these is just awful. This message is really destructive and choosing whether or not to consume sweets is every individual’s own decision. Adding in the idea that eating sweets will make you gain lots of weight to your book is so harmful to young minds. And writing about how the protagonists, who the characters the readers look up to, are disgusted by girls putting on weight is horrible.

But the biggest victim of this theme is Dot. Dot, who was bullied endlessly for being overweight in the previous book. Dot, who somehow lost so much weight over the course of nine months that she went from being rotund to skinny with hour glass curves.

Okay, let’s break this down: there is no way, absolutely no way, that a person can lose THAT much weight in less than a year and still be healthy. Dot was not shown to have any health problems. When explaining how she had done this, she claimed she was “hungry all the time” and was solely snacking on vegetables such as carrots or celery. She further claimed that all of this was “worth it” as she is now popular and has a great social life.

I’m not,,,, I can’t even,,,, this. This is what you call glorifying an eating disorder. Are you going to read that above paragraph and tell me that people won’t feel inspired by Dot? That a self conscious girl won’t read about Dot’s “amazing” weight loss story and how “amazing” her life is after becoming skinny is not going to feel jealous and most likely try something to that affect,,,, I,,,, Soman, WHERE is your tact?

This is so disgusting and I am so sorry to anyone who was affected by this. If you don’t know, there was a movement of sorts on Instagram where the sge fans confronted Soman for how his way of writing eating disorders and weight problems seriously affected them and ended up making them self conscious or develop their own eating disorders.

This is all made worse by the fact that he just laughed it off, said he wrote it for humor, and was offended we even accused him of writing bad body image into his stories because he’s been teased for being skinny before.

This book has the worst problems with body image and glorifying eating disorders. This itself is enough to ruin the book for me.

Dot is a kind and humble character who’s only addressed in the story through her weight, it’s made into such a big plot point in her character arc, her weight and how she gets bullied for it, or how skinny she is, and what she did to get there. Her entire character is defined by her body and that is not okay.

This book did her and the other Evergirls so much injustice and it is so upsetting.

I would like to say this is it for the rant, but no, there are a lot more qualms I have with this book, ahaha :/

Stay tuned for Part 2: my issues with the characters in the books :)

[merverelli]

5 through 10 for the artist asks ^^?

thank u for saving me anon im dying from boredom here sjfhajfh

5: What’s your favorite thing to draw? - im still on that solid 'youtuber ego' kick so them ahaha

but broadly put, people and characters!!

6: What’s your least favorite thing to draw? - FUCK BACKGROUNDS im bad at positioning characters, and just general design with them

its probably just a practice issue tho!!!

7: How often do you use references? - ALL THE TIME i really struggle with proportions and placement without them, so i need my art crutches :(

but if im just mucking about n doodling faces etc, then idc about as much skfhajfh

8: Do you draw professionally, or just for fun? - just for fun! i keep thinking about opening commissions every now and then, but i dont think im fast and consistent enough for it yet??? but maybe one day!!

9: How much time do you spend drawing on an average day? - WAY TOO LONG my average art pieces are simple enough to theoretically take like 2 - 3 hours, but i end up taking DAYS bc i keep getting distracted and that

its probably just 40 ish minutes on average tho??? i get busy (and also distracted with other things sjdhakyfeu) pretty easily :(

10: Are you confident about your art? - maybe???? i think the main thing im self conscious abt is how long i take to draw, but im ok with my average style rn?????

there are some things i wanna change/do, like i wanna develop a 'shitty and quick' (with want of a better way to phrase it SHDHAJGHDAI) art style, so i feel less self conscious abt posting half cooked sketches and that, so i post more art, but so far i think im ok, especially compared to how i use to be!!!!!!

[zukalations]

Asaka Manato’s #1! - Part 2

In this GRAPH feature from 2016, troupe members were asked to vote on their favorite on- and offstage things about their top stars. Asaka’s was published in the November issue.

This is the second half of the feature that I began posting last time. In part 2, the troupe members vote on their favorite things about her personality off-stage and things she does while performing.

Note: Like Part 1, Asaka’s comments are in italics.

Asaka Manato’s #1 - Part 2

We love this about her in rehearsals!

#1 - How she notices each and every member of the troupe (33 votes)

“When I’m struggling with a role or something like that, she gives such valuable advice!” - Rinjou Kira

No, no, I keep consulting you for all kinds of things!

“She gives advice to each and every junior actress and takes them out for yakiniku 💖” - Fuuma Kakeru

Ahaha! (laughs) Well~ If we go out to eat or something, I can learn more about everyone, and it makes it easier to give advice, that’s all. I went out with the Black Angels, too. An underworld rally! (laughs)

#2 Her eye power (10 votes)

#2 How she always greets people with a smile (10 votes)

#4 The difference between her on- and off-stage personas (9 votes)

“With her nails she can’t open a can of juice… 💖 (It’s too cute, the gap is too cute!!)” - Makaze Suzuho

I couldn’t open anything with Der Tod’s nails. So, I went to Yurika (Makaze) who was nearby like ‘Open it for me~’ (laughs).

Other:

“The way she’ll fire off a wink when our eyes meet 💖 It’s just so cool 💖 💖″ - Hoshibuki Ayato

I only do this with Monchi (Hoshibuki)! Since during TOP HAT it made her blush so much and I thought it was funny (laughs). It’s not that I’m flirting with everybody! (laughs)

From Misaki Rion

“Her ability to focus! The way she changes is so impressive to me!!”

Although I’m scatterbrained by nature, I’ve realized that being able to focus is really important so I’ve learned how as I went along.

We want her to do this! From musumeyaku

#1 - Wink (8 votes)

“I want her to 💖 wink 💖 at me with those bewitching Hot Eyes!! 👁” - Mikaze Maira

I’ll do it whenever you like!

#2 - Hug (7 votes)

“I want her to pull me in with one arm! With a line like “Oh, be careful!!”. With those big hands 💖 💖” - Risaki Shigure

Ahaha (laughs)

#3 - From Elisabeth, Der Tod’s… (4 votes)

“The scene where Der Tod tries to seduce Elisabeth in her bedroom is so alluring, so I want her to try that with me.” - Mizune Shiho

The movements in that scene were things I thought of that they incorporated into the show. That’s great if it had an impression on you!

#4 - Dance (3 votes)

“I want her to be my escort for a duet dance.” - Junya Chitose

Eh~ I’d definitely end up laughing! (laughs) But I’ll do it!

From Misaki Rion

“I want her to pat my head while gazing into my eyes (laughs) 💖 💖″

“I want to exchange cheek kisses with her like in TOP HAT!! It’s so heart-pounding!!”

This is the most variety you’ve had yet! So extravagant! (laughs)

We want to emulate this! From otokoyaku

#1  - The way she uses her hands and arms (11 votes)

Oh~ I’m happy!

“My hands are small, and I have a real complex about it...Asaka-san also apparently has small hands (although they don’t look that way at all), so I want to learn more about how to gesture so my hands look bigger.” - Aizuki Hikaru

“The way she moves her long hands.” - Rukaze Hikaru

My arms are long so I used to be self-conscious about that, so if I am seen this way as an otokoyaku...It’s nice~

#2 - Dance (6 votes)

“For TOP HAT, she studied Fred Astaire’s movement so much. It was so impressive that as soon as I went to see it the first time I was so excited that I rushed to get a standing ticket for the second show (laughs).” - Matsukaze Akira

Right, right! Isn’t that cu~te? Cosmos Troupe is full of people who are so intent on research. Cosmos Troupe rules! (laughs)

#3 - The way she uses her eyes (4 votes)

#3 - From Elisabeth, Der Tod’s… (4 votes)

“All her gestures in the scene where she creeps into Elisabeth’s bedroom were so sexy. I want to be able to emulate them!” - Rui Makise

But don’t you think that’s a little too outside of normal situations to be useful!? (laughs)

Other:

“The way she wears suits 💖 So wonderfully sharp.” - Makaze Suzuho

Eh~! I have no idea! (laughs) Oh, but when I put on a suit, it really makes me remember how Osa-san (Haruno Sumire) would move.

“The way she embraces the musumeyaku! I can feel how much affection she has!! I would love to emulate that.” - Mirei Jun

Do it~!! I want to see Yuichii (Mirei) do that! (laughs)

Final comments

Ah~ having everyone praise me makes me feel so nice somehow~ (laughs). It makes me so happy to know that this is what people thing. It makes me feel like I should work even harder. Thank you so much, everyone! Let’s keep doing our best together!!

[sittingoverheredreaming]

Replies to this weekend’s prompt fics under the cut! Thank you all for prompting and reading, I’m hoping to do a few more of these in the new year!

awashsquid replied to your post “19. “The paint’s supposed to go WHERE?”, Haruka”

Well I guess I was sort of right?? I was surprised by it being the ceiling, it does make more sense than Michiru having Haruka touch up one of her masterpieces though. Michiru knowing she’ll die and not telling Haruka is a dark favorite of mine—I’ve written about it, too—but I failed to put in all of the care that you did with Michirus actions, and I love this for that. Her letters being an attempt to pull Haruka out of a depression and to leave her with something beautiful are touching and sad, and express more, in their own way, than Michiru could ever have done if she’d said it all in person. It’s great how differently prompts like this can go. This definitely isn’t the direction I thought this would move, but it’s cathartic and fits in quite a different way, and I’m so happy you decided to write and share this!

Thank you! I love playing with how people can take care of the ones they love, even if they aren’t there, and Michiru knowing exactly what’s coming is a favorite of mine, too. 

yamadara87 replied to your post“19. “The paint’s supposed to go WHERE?”, Haruka”

These were such heartbreaking and lovely love letters.

Thank you!

awashsquid replied to your post“19. “The paint’s supposed to go WHERE?”, Haruka”

I haven’t read this yet but I saw “character death” and JESUS SAM, I thought this would be something cute about Michiru teaching her to paint, you are pulling zero punches clearly

Ahahaha I figured it was such a happy prompt, I should warn up front about where I went. For some reason the only place my mind went is HARUKA HAS TO PAINT A CEILING, and I had to find a reason why. It was between this and painting the nursery, but I was less drawn to the later because I think Michiru would just do it, and I didn’t want to do too much family fic ahahaha.

docholligay replied to your post“Seiusa, wanna dance?”

Also yaten being a shit is always something beautiful and great and I am so into it

Yaten is honestly the most fun to write.

docholligay replied to your post “Seiusa, wanna dance?”

They way you write Seiya and her sadness over Usagi, the gentle push and pull between them, is my drug and you are one of the very few writers I ever see do it well

Ahhhh thank you! They’re a hard relationship for me to write, because there has to be such a delicate balance in everything they feel for each other, so it means a lot to hear it works!

awashsquid replied to your post “Haruka and Michiru, 13”

The fact that Michiru was self conscious enough to ask if the kiss was okay is not making me have Feelings, nope, not at all

Ahaha it’s one of my favorite little tropes, it gets me every time.

yamadara87 replied to your post “Michiru & Rei, “You’re the only one I trust to do this.”

Michiru and Rei is probably my favorite friendship pairing. I love that Rei would be the one Michiru could show her fears and weaknesses to. It couldn’t be Haruka and god forbid it be Usagi. And how mushy of Rei to celebrate the happy news by treating at somewhere Michiru likes, which reads pricey. This was so sweet.

Ahhhh thank you! I love them a lot too, they’re different from most of the other friendships in the series.

rhiorhino replied to your post “Michiru & Rei, “You’re the only one I trust to do this.”

EXCUSE ME WHILE I TRY NOT TO DANCE IN PUBLIC I LOVE IT

:D :D

rhiorhino replied to your post“Michiru & Rei, “You’re the only one I trust to do this.”

SAM I AM FULL OF LOVE FOR YOU AND THIS

I LOVE YOU TOO, RHIO, I’M GLAD YOU LIKE THIS!!

[gloomstudy]

11 (jk actually 33) questions tag!

rules: answer 11 questions, make 11 of your own, and tag another 11 people.

tagged by @piiess, @narglestudies, @orangeblossomstudies, and many many many others! i can’t find all the other ones that i was tagged in, but i know i was tagged in a bunch of them these past few months and i never got around to doing them ahhh i’m sorry ;; and hoooo boy, it’s been a while since the last time i’ve done a tag on here. hopefully answering these 33 questions will help you all get to know me a little better!

questions from pat:

1. who do you stan and why?

you guys already know that i stan bang chan from stray kids, so i’m gonna talk about someone else. i stan iu (lee jieun)! she’s so pure and gentle, and her vocals are so amazing and heavenly. she’s basically how i imagine what an angel sounds like. it would truly be an honor to meet her someday!

2. how are you today?

i’m alright! i got up kinda late today lol. not much has happened aside from eating breakfast and lunch, watching youtube videos, and setting up my queue for my blogs. now i’m answering these questions!

3. your regular order at the café?

i’ve actually never been to a cafe before, but i’ve been to a few boba places! i either get an ice cream green tea, or a matcha latte. for both, i get 50% sugar, no ice (the drink is usually already cold), boba, and soymilk if it’s available.

4. mint ice cream, yay or nay?

yay, if it’s made well.

5. recommend a place to visit if i were to travel to your state/country?

aside from disneyland, uhhh...come visit my school? ahaha idk. i’d be happy to be your tour guide! afterwards, we can go to daiso since it’s only 2 blocks away from campus, hehe. ^_^

6. favorite prompts/au?

flower shop au will always be my most favorite au and the most wholesome au. i dare you to fight me on this. jk pls don’t actually fight me.

7. top 3 otp’s and brotp’s?

otp’s: scira (teen wolf), finnrey (star wars), gallya (the man from uncle)

brotp’s: changlix (stray kids), woochan (stray kids), iwaoi (haikyuu!!)

8. have you ever visited a dog/cat/animal café? if not, would you like to?

no, i have not. yes, i would love to! there’s this shiba cafe in japan that i really wanna visit someday. :’)

9. opinion about minimalism?

it’s good, and i’m slowly working towards it. you can probably tell in my original content that i usually like to keep things pretty simple and minimal!

10. how is your workspace like?

the other day, i had 5 bottles on my desk with varying levels of water lmao. but now i’ve cleaned them out and put them away, and now my desk is pretty clean and organized! i wanna change up the photos on my wall, though.

11. if you had a superpower/magic, what would it be? and would you become a hero, a villain, or a normal person who use their power in daily life (like… you had magic and you use that to do your housework or sth bc you’re too lazy lol)

i’d like to be able to freeze time! i’m not sure how it would be useful as a hero, so i’d probably stay as a normal person and use it in my daily life. i’d like to have more time to get things done, ahaha.

questions from esther:

1. hogwarts house? (if you haven’t been sorted, describe yourself in 3 words)

hufflepuff!

2. harry potter, percy jackson, lotr, or asoiaf / game of thrones?

percy jackson.

3. favorite book genre? (e.g. fantasy, mystery, romance, etc.)

dystopian, or sci-fi.

4. top travel destination?

someone pls drag me to japan or south korea.

5. your happiest moment this month?

hanging out with my brother at a museum, followed by dragging him with me to muji and buying new stationery, followed by getting milk tea + boba and walking around in a mall. it was a good day. ^_^

6. favorite summer activity?

swimming!

7. how do you stay productive during the summer?

this summer, i’m studying for the gre, picking up japanese again, and practicing violin for my upcoming audition in august. and of course, i’m also working on some new living room sessions, which will be posted soon!

8. an interesting fact about yourself?

i used to do ballet, tap dancing, and gymnastics! unfortunately, now i’m no longer as flexible as i used to be ;;

9. tea or coffee?

tea~

10. favorite food?

sushi!!

11. crazy fast and loopy rollercoasters - yes or no?

YES ABSOLUTELY, but i haven’t been on one in a while.

questions from micky:

1. what’s your favorite flower?

hydrangea!

2. are you currently reading a book? if so, which one?

no :( i haven’t read a book for leisure in a while. i’d like to get into all for the game, though!

3. what’s one goal you have for the coming school year?

stop procrastinating on writing papers lol.

4. what do you do on rainy days?

stay indoors, listen to lo-fi hip-hop, mindlessly scroll through tumblr, watch youtube videos and anime, and drink a hot cup of tea.

5. what’s a habit you can’t stand?

people who chew with their mouths open :/

6. what’s your favorite genre of book or movie?

dystopian and action!

7. what’s the best thing that happened to you last week?

watching the fireworks on the 4th of july!

8. what’s something you are self-conscious about?

my skin :/

9. what are you most looking forward to in the next 10 years?

being done with school, and hopefully achieving some of my goals!!

10. what stereotype do you completely live up to?

a musician who wears black often lol. i own more blue jeans than black jeans, but i wear my black jeans more often since they go with everything! also, my raincoat and the majority of my winter coats are black, ahaha.

11. who inspires you to be better?

family, friends, and you guys!!

my 11 questions for you!

what’s your aesthetic?

which city in the world would you choose to describe yourself and why?

what kind of music do you like to listen to?

what did you have for breakfast today?

what song has been stuck in your head lately?

if you could live in any movie or tv show, which would you choose?

do you play an instrument? which one(s)? if not, which instrument would you like to learn how to play?

quick! name the first meme that comes to mind.

what’s your best piece of life advice?

who are some people you look up to?

are you having a good day today? (if not, i hope it gets better, and tomorrow is another chance to try again!)

tagging: @lavietudier, @ceesdesk, @adelinestudiess, @jynsdesk, @diaryofastemstudent, @ryustudies, @studytune, @moonshinestudies, @hannybstudies, @pltuo, @ahsteria, and anyone else who wants to do this! (sorry if you’ve already done this, and you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to!)

[cutebunnys50]

nothing

ALRIGHT,

the second thing i’m going to put in this tag is although i said i should work like 30 minutes 1 hour ago, i can’t focus bc i suddenly got all self-conscious/worried ( x_x ) 

maybe it’s because of all the stuff i said and all the stuff i expect of myself now and all the stuff i ended up admitting, but maybe writing this down is going to shut me up ( _ _ ;; ) 

in reality, i think no one actually cares (i don’t know how to feel about that either, whether it’s reassuring or lowkey disheartening), but aaghh

it’s 9 PM now. i still have stuff i have to do, but at least it’s Saturday, and I have every intention of working. i’m just...distracted. 

if people are like me, they follow like 400 blogs so this will be buried in their dashboard, which i think is a good thing. xD 

i’m actually too insecure for my own good, but this is for my sake, so i’m actually going to commit to it. 

i hope that by writing this down, i can finally move on and get my shit together and work on stuff. 

--NO MORE DISTRACTIONS

these are supposed to be personal, so no one actually reply or like this post please? or something?

but i have to remember i’m willingly putting this on the internet, so people can do whatever they want. if they like this post, it’ll show that someone’s actually reading what i’m typing-- i guess that’s not so bad once i get over my initial reaction and my embarrassment about it. 

ahaha, change is something i’m not used to, so i guess that justifies all of my mixed feelings rn. xD (this is...out of my comfort zone, really.)

maybe you knew, or maybe you never thought about it, but i’m actually a pretty big mess xD internally. xD 

i’ll get past these self-confidence issues though. xD i am confident in some things, and i do love myself (i’d honestly date myself if i could), but...

ahaha. contradictions and stuff.... feelings are complicated ( uwu ) 

if you’re reading this and you’re not me, idk why you are, but thank you? xD 

bet you didn’t expect a bunch of whining (or maybe you did, who knows), but it’s because i’m like this that i don’t speak my mind a lot ( ^^ ;; )

got it? am i done? alright, now i can shut up and move on. even if you willingly sat through this, sorry dhjkksla aha. i guess i’m human too so now i’m just rambling. 

if i could make you feel better/help you in any way, i’m glad. i know i personally am relieved when someone shows their more human side to me... even if it’s a little unbearable.. xD 

i’m still rambling, but i’m, uh, glad if you got this far. i dunno what you think rn and idk if i care (i do lol), but

feel free to talk to me about anything ( ^^ ;; ) 

this post was kind of weird... xD but this is only the beginning...!

[perfectdagger]

Annual writing self-evaluation 2016

Thanks to the lovely Lucy @lucystarkid for tagging me on this! 💖

1. List of works published this year:

There Is a Light

A Way of Keeping You Inside (Ink)

Friday I’m in Love

Every Little Thing He Does Is Magic

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

I gotta say I’m definitely most proud of ELTHDIM right now, because it’s the work we are putting so much time, dedication and effort on writing and we are hoping on it to be a long project, so I’m the most proud and excited about this one. I’m also really proud of how well Friday I’m in Love has been doing, I didn’t expect for it to receive so many hits! :D

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

I wouldn’t say I’m least proud of it, it’s just that A Way of Keep You Inside is very simple and short and I was supposed to post it in January last year but ended up posted it in April (due to procrastination and author’s block), but I still like it very much because I wrote it as birthday gift for Lils.

4. A favourite excerpt of your writing:

It’s something I have already written for the Part 2 of the Mistletoes & Wrackspurts after ELTHDIM. I don’t know if it’s going to stay the way I wrote it so I won’t post it because of #spoilers lol

5. Share or describe a favourite review you received:

I love getting reviews and comments on my fics. I wish more readers did that because I’m really self-conscious about my writing and when people say they like what I wrote, it obviously help a lot. I appreciate all the comments, kudos and recs people have given so far! But there are three recent comments we received about ELTHDIM that have made a great impact.

@la-paritalienne ask really lifted our mood up!

This one was basically all we wanted in a comment, about the feeling of reading this hogwarts au!

And this one was one of the nicest compliments on my writing I’ve ever received.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

I don’t think I’ve had a really hard time while writing this year. Obviously, author’s block is a bitch and it got a little in the way of me not being so fast as I wanted to be with writing ELTHDIM.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you

That’s a huge spoiler on what’s coming on ELTDHIM and I can’t say it. I’m just gonna say that it’s very deep and I was surprised I managed to write it the way I did.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

Even though I’m still very self-conscious about my writing and some times (most of the time, actually) I still think I’m not good enough, I think because I started with writing small fics and then the next ones started getting longer, I’m getting more confident with my writing, specially because English is not my first language. 

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

I hope I can improve my writing a lot more. I know I have a lot of annoying mannerisms while writing (thanks Syn for pointing them out haha and the person who commented on Friday I’m in Love with “why does everyone say hm all the time” lol) and I think if I read more different works and actually read more on how to write better, I can feel more confident with the way I write and I hope more people can enjoy my works.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

I have to thank Syn @regulusarcblack so bad for being this awesome friend and my co-writer on ELTHDIM, for helping me improve my writing. We had a little heart-to-heart session the other day and it was really important to me, and she is always encouraging me to keep on writing (and this goes both ways, she knows that, because this is a hufflepuff-slytherin partnership ahaha) <3

Having Sammy @britpickerhl as our beta was great too, always with her positive comments! It helped a lot too! 

I also have to say Genny @broccoliwasdone for being the biggest ELTHDIM stan too, and everyone who read the story beforehand, which made me want to write more and more!

I think as for authors, the works from @conscious--ramblings, @sadamenoito, @cherrystreet were the ones I enjoyed reading the most this year and they helped  me with inspiration.

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Syn says that my hufflepuffness always shows on my writing, so.... hahaha I think sometimes I project a lot of how I feel on the characters, but nothing really specific, as my life is not that interesting.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Write what comes from your heart and let it flow. Even if you think it’s crap. There’s someone out there who will enjoy it. And even if it’s a work that doesn’t get much recognition among the fandom, if you read it and you enjoy what you wrote, that’s enough.

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

Well, finishing the Mistletoes & Wrackspurts series is obviously what I’m most looking forward to doing! It’s gonna be a big one, but I hope we will be done with it by the middle of the year haha

We have so many ideas I can’t even remember them all right now, but time wise I don’t know if we will be able to write them all this year hahah But there’s one in specific that we are dying to write. It’s a Hate to Love plot with Solo!Harry and Journalist!Louis :) 

14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read. ;)

I’m pretty sure all the writers I know have already done this, so I don’t know who to tag. If you follow us and you write and want to do this, feel free! (and if you also want to talk and want us to rec your fics, we’d absolutely do it!)

*All answers should be about works published in 2016. Also, you can skip any questions you hate or don’t want to answer, but please leave them on the list so that others can do them if they want. :)