#i was rewatching his scenes in the good wife and my gosh he’s so beautiful aaa

[matthewsblue]

so i was rewatching some episodes of the good wife and

i’m so in love with matthew and his side profile bye

this post is really shallow but i couldn’t help myself i had to express my never ending love for him

[songofsongs214]

Hi friends! So ima start with saying that I know I’ve promised some meta analysis for like 2 episodes by now.. and my apologies I’m currently working three jobs technically to make ends meet (not a bad thing just a different schedule). Although during this small hiatus I might go back and do some more.

*spoilers ahead of you haven’t been able to watch yet*

But I wanted to express some thoughts I had about episode 3 of season 4.

Okay, so overall I did enjoy the episode as a whole. However, there were some parts I didn’t enjoy so I’m gonna actually start with that so I claim my bias from the beginning.

I do not enjoy Nolan and Bailey and that is coming from a Nolan fan. This actress is beautiful and a lovely person but this character has fallen completely flat for me. I haven’t seen any part of her backstory that makes her remotely interesting or causes me as a loyal viewer to be interested in learning more. Their scenes I’m not gonna lie I fast forwarded through on my second rewatch. I actually miss grace or even his ex wife (bones lover all the way).

Moving on… So Nolan and Lucy, horrible professional pairing honesty. He is reckless and still thinking he has to prove himself. And Lucy is a better officer than he is. More knowledgeable and more professionally driven. Also, even I know you don’t run into a burning building without a face mask. And the continuity issue is them not getting checked out. Smoke inhalation causes death ladies and gentleman. I mean I know that this is a fictional tv show but when I miss the slightly believable procedural aspect of this show. Also at the grenade house, Oy Nolan you forgot to call the bomb squad?! Thank goodness Lucy is back with Tim for the next couple episodes.

I miss Jackson Becuase he would have been wayyy more subtle and reasonable if he had heard grey and Tim in the locker room.

Also, wasn’t liking how Lucy was perceived in This episode in certain aspects. She is not a 15 year old girl and would have wanted the line to Tim be “man and woman” but Melissa and Eric endeared it for me. Also Nolan’s comment about her not being an adult.. umm she’s upset becuase you told her something she wouldn’t have even known about it if it weren’t for his gossip.

Okay, so now the stuff I loved. I loved the tone of the episode overall especially between partnerships. The humor was awesome. I laughed so hard at such random times. I love thorsen, him and nyla are hilarious. “That would otherwise be known as my bad” gosh I was rolling 😂. And the missing officer bit and them talking about the men in Nyla’s life. Also totally team James. His voice is deeper and is better morally.

Tim and Webb, I genuinely enjoyed their interactions. It’s typical sports talk and Tim is at ease because he has no feelings he’s sorting through.

And! Did anyone catch the foreshadowing to the Dogers tickets? Eric mentioned in a cameo Tim’s perfect date “would be a game with chen as partners not anything more becuase of the slow burn” this is gonna come back people! Mark my words

I adored the banter between Tim and Lucy and that sniper scene was great, it reminded me Slightly of the Branson apartments storyline in season 1 which was awesome production wise with the angles the music and movements.

Nolan was frustrating during this episode especially with the gossip thing reminiscent from Highschool, but it was purposeful to see how Lucy reacted to it. She was disappointed and she didn’t need to be but it did show us as the audience that she continues to value Tim’s opinion of her skill and capability.

Also, remember what Tim wrote on that evaluation ( which I’m convinced he did not submit an official copy that said he was going to miss riding with her but gave her a separate one) he misses riding with her and did think about it when grey mentioned it. But I think all those reasons Tim gave about the demotion and “something else” were his thoughts and nobody else’s.

Tim strikes me as someone who sees 8 sides of everything. So his brain short circuited Becuase He KNOWS he almost kissed her at his house. He KNOWS he checked her out at the wedding and asked her to dance which indicates she is more than a former boot. She’s a woman to him.

And that is conflicting with what Lucy called out as his his “old school code of honor” he wants to protect her reputation. He respects her as a woman and as an officer. He is looking out for her career and that’s why he’s considering all of these scenarios.

What I saw through this whole episode was that Tim was so conflicted about his feelings. He’s always cared about Lucy even when he was being an ass but he was able to put it in a box. The “I’m her training officer that’s my job.” But now she’s been to his home that he invited her too and there is an intimacy there that wasn’t there before. My guess is that both Lucy and Tim have put it in the “I was grieving and caught in a moment box” but it also awakened a feeling realization; Tim is the one most with it.

And that’s why we’re getting all these flirty challenging each other moments. There is attraction there romantically and they’re both wanting to be close to the other. The pranking and baiting and flirty banter it’s a coping for both of them to acknowledge the spark without actually doing it lol.

I’m excited to see them riding together. We get the best procedural content with them as partners and it’s good television with their chemistry.

And the thing I’ve remembered from that op on the docks from season 1 is Tim’s famous line “rules matter boot, then what the hell are you doing out here, some things matter more”.

Now maybe I’m thinking too much like a writer or creating a parallel where there isn’t one but try to track with me. I don’t believe that we’re supposed to forget any part of that sentence. The first line rules matter, was phase 1 and 2 ( aka season 1 and 2) played out consistently in their relationship. Then, during this episode Tim said what the hell when he agreed to having Lucy ride with him again. Normally, his patterns are “okay or alright ”. But he said that line instead like he’s leaning into the shift in dynamic rather than steer away. Now we’re going to see “some things matter more” play out. I can feel it.

Also, Tim calling himself a handsome boy, I burst out laughing and was like is he really getting her to admit he’s attractive? Ooo he’s got it so bad. And the tension in the squad room was delightful and Timmy boy looked so shook that he just had a moment with her in front of everybody else.

I see good things my friends but I want to agree and acknowledge the good and bad reviews of the episode because I agree with the good and bad ones for the most part. I love various perspectives so I encourage everyone to keep sharing their views and perspectives Because it’s what makes being fans so much fun to hear everybody’s opinions.

If you made it to the end of this stream on consciousness I commend you 🥂. I have not edited this much, so it might drive me nuts enough that I will go back and fix it lol.

[pluviophile-bookworm]

AWAE 3x3 rewatch: thoughts and reactions

So I made a ginormous pause in between these again. I just wasn’t feeling up to the task, I guess. But it’s the anniversary of the premiere of AWAE, so what better day to do the penultimate one of these... Let’s just dive in because it’s been literal years since I first saw this episode and I remember literally nothing from it.

Oh my, Bash is just the best. And those baby chicks... well, I know what is most likely to happen to chickens on a farm when they grow older but... can we just maybe not think of that yet? Plus, seeing Mary keeps reminding me that soon I won’t be seeing her anymore. It’s safe to say I have mixed feelings about this cold open. Let’s move on.

Gosh, now they’re leaving Matthew alone with Delly, who is two types of people he’s uncomfortable around - a baby and a girl. But it’s fine, it will be just ‘a couple of hours’...

It is such a shame to think that Mary might have been saved... if she were white. People can be so awful. A human being is a human being. At least there are people like Dr. Ward and our protagonists who know that and act accordingly.

Oh... there’s that cute scene of Matthew showing Delly around Green Gables that I’ve seen in so many gifs... I can’t comment much on it so I’ll just sit back and enjoy. But before I go - Matthew is the best, most gentle man I’ve ever seen. He might be awkward around women and children, but he knows how to treat them right better than most people who are not awkward around them.

Oh gosh, the nappy! That kind of made me laugh out of place but, well, I just wanted to say - thank gods for Jerry and his many siblings. My boy knows how to change nappies.

Oh, they’ve got the printing press! Now that’s exciting! I feel like excitement is a good word to describe this episode, at least so far. We’ll see how I feel by the end of it. All I know is this is making me smile and I’ve really been needing that.

My, my, Ruby... I keep forgetting when it was that she got over Gilbert. Apparently it was not before mid-season, since she’s still in it way too deep. 

Oh wait... is this when things began happening between her and Moody? I mean, the way he gives her his handkerchief, you’d think ever since he stopped trying to make Diana and her ‘very blue’ dress notice him, he’s been sitting back and watching Ruby from afar, hoping he can, somehow, compare to Gilbert. The best part is, in just a bit, he won’t need to. Boy, do I need a fourth season even if just to see these two develop... and for Diana and Jerry to make up, and just in general to see the kids being all grown up... now I feel like crying because we’ll very probably never get it... ok, moving on.

Anne: Sometimes life finds gifts in the darkest of places./ Marilla: Indeed. Wait, was this Marilla’s way of telling Anne she loves her? This is just the best. 

The contrast between scenes dealing with Mary and the rest of the episode is just so stark, it’s jarring. It’s like, you never know the darkness someone might be sinking into  while everybody else is bathing in the light. You know, everybody involved in making this episode, and the show in its entirety, made it so poetic, and yet it’s not. It’s absolutely devastating. And now Gilbert can’t even tell Mary that she’s got no more than two weeks left. This is the worst. 

You know, Anne is right. Caring deeply will always be the right thing. I mean, it’s natural for Gilbert to doubt himself at this time, especially since the tragedy is happening to his own found family. You know, there’s something my mum taught me to do when I’m watching something and I can’t bear the subject matter of it - focus on the acting. And right now I’m just blown away by the superb performance by these incredible young people. But I really can’t bear to focus on the plot right now. And the acting being that good doesn’t particularly help me to detach myself from the story.

You know, tragic as what’s happening to Mary certainly is, it’s somehow lucky she has Anne in her life now that she’s about to leave her own daughter to grow up motherless. Because if only Anne’s parents had an orphan tell them what an orphaned child needs most, Anne’s own experience might have been very different. Mary is a very smart woman for realising that and talking to Anne about it. Because life is not about lamenting what we didn’t have. It’s about making sure we do what is in our power to make it easier for others if we can.

Ah, yes. Racism and ‘White Man’s Burden’ mentality are still very much a thing present here. I guess this here is the first mention of that horrible prison of a school that Ka’kwet would be sent to. This is. The. Worst.

I just can’t bear to listen to this guy. ‘Heathens’ - you mean people with a rich culture and belief system beyond your privileged straight white male comprehension? ‘Teach them all things civilised’ - you mean erase their own, I repeat, rich culture, and replace it with your white man’s ideas of civilisation? What deity fell from the heavens and made you God? And the way Rachel totally agrees with this guy, it just makes me sick. As if that guy would hesitate to discriminate against you on the basis of you being a woman! I just can’t with this. Let’s move on.

‘Be sure you marry for love. Only for love.’ Don’t worry, Mary, he will. Not before a huge, long period of confusion, mind you. But he’ll come to his senses eventually. People do stupid things when they’re young. That’s how they know they’ve lived it to the fullest.

Rachel just baffles me, you know. And Marilla, too, isn’t quite faultless here. How can you be so accepting of one kind of POC, yet so cruel to another? Then I remember their initial reactions to meeting Bash. They were not the most accepting at first. Yet they can see how they’ve now grown to accept and care deeply about Bash and Mary and Delphine. Why can’t they give Ka’kwet’s people a chance like this?

‘You may well have saved some Indians today’... Saved them? From what? Being free to practice their own culture? You know, white people can be so very ignorant... and I say that as a very white person. I’m just ashamed of everything my ethnicity has done to literally every other ethnicity.

‘I don’t wanna die’... You know, sometimes I do, and right now that makes me feel so ashamed. I should really think of Mary and also every real person who had an untimely death whenever I’m having those thoughts again. We should all learn to appreciate life so much more.

So this is the one with Mary’s Easter... this is beautiful. I might have to rescind my ‘excitement’ statement from earlier, but there is still a theme of beauty, love and family throughout this. Well, technically throughout the entire series, but especially here. I love this. 

Delphine with a flower crown is the cutest thing ever...

Minnie May: She looks like a chocolate candy. I just... took notice of how the background music abruptly stopped. You know, coming from an older person, this would sound... not at all ok. But this 7-year-old didn’t mean any harm, and they realise it after a brief moment of panic in their eyes. Still... black people don’t call us, idk, butter or something. We should not compare their skin colour to chocolate.

Their singing is absolutely beautiful. But let’s be real - in a real-life situation, most of the people would be way off-key and those harmonies would be impossible to arrange. Still, for this beauty, I am willing to suspend my disbelief for miles. Also, that prayer at the end... well, I’m not Christian, but I am religious, and I know the power of a prayer as poetic as this one. However hard it must have been for Mary to know she wouldn’t live, it must have been a great consolation to know she would go in such a way, surrounded by so much beauty and love, and light. Well, that ending was bittersweet! But I absolutely loved this episode. Except for the racist parts that made me absolutely livid. It’s so frustrating to know there is still so much hate in the world based just on minor superficial differences between people. Yet it would have been even more frustrating if we didn’t have people in the world like our protagonists (and especially the protagonist, Anne). It is such an absolute shame that this show, and others like it, got cancelled over some trivial issues and wasn’t given the proper chance to develop its positive messages even further. But still, even with just the 27 episodes it was given, it was able to cover so much ground. I don’t know what to say. AWAE is just supreme.

Let’s sum up: the final weeks of Mary’s life; racial prejudice might have just cost this lovely woman, a wife and a mother, her life; Matthew showing Delly around Green Gables is the sweetest thing; the first press-printed issue of The Avonlea Gazette, with a significant typo; and thus, a ship was born; subtle ways of saying those three little words; ‘Caring deeply will always be the right thing.’; the legacy of a mother; ‘White Man’s Burden’ mentality is alive and dangerous; double standards regarding the acceptance of POC; Mary’s Easter; going surrounded by a loving community.

[kanerallels]

Star Wars Rebels Rewatch: Season Two, Episode Seven, Wings of the Master

Good news, guys! I hit Wings of the Master in rewatching Star Wars Rebels, and you're about to get a hecking ton of thoughts on it! (not as many as on Trials of the Darksaber, but there'll still be plenty)

First time through I wasn't super enthralled with this one, but my sister made me rewatch it once and THEN. I REALIZED. HOW GOOD IT IS. AND SO WILL YOU GUYS. Because it spotlights Hera Syndulla. Best pilot in the galaxy. Everyone should love her.

Spoilers below the break!

-Rex just bringing up a prototype starfighter and Kanan being all "oh, Hera will go". The man just knows his space wife is the best pilot around and can handle anything. Does he kinda volunteer Hera? Yeah, but I prefer to look at it as a vote of confidence, and a push because Hera is a mom who wouldn't want to leave her fleet if she doesn't have to. She doesn't want to feel like she's abandoning them. Ahh, the ways those two help each other grow in areas where they're afraid to take the right steps. It gives me life

-Every Kanan, Chopper and Ezra scene is a blessing to this galaxy. Why does Kanan have some of the best lines in SWR?

-"You're co-irritating me, both of you." Kanan made a dad joke. Why does this make me so happy? I couldn't tell you, but every time he does it I die of joy

-It was kinda fun to see Hera, Zeb and Sabine go on a mission without the Jedi boys. They've got a fun dynamic, and they aren't spotlighted as often as our Jedi boys-- who you know I love. But it's nice to have some variety, even if this is technically Ezra and Kanan's story. So kudos to my main man Dave Filoni for spending some time on the other members of the Ghost crew

-Zeb being overprotective of Hera kinda gives me life

-Quarrie and Hera interacting on any given scene

-Additionally, digging into Hera's back story! Always fun! I adore her passion for flying, and that quote-- "If we want freedom, we must make difficult choices." What a queen.

-Ezra: *question about the Empire making them their target*

Kanan: "yeah, but the Ghost is smaller and faster, so with any luck we'll just slip right by."

Ezra: "you actually believe that?"

Kanan: "IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER WHEN I SAY IT."

Actual dialogue, I kid you not.

-Quarrie's "oh my gosh I killed Harry Potter Hera Syndulla" face amuses me

-The score when Hera test flies the B-Wing is AMAZING (it's called Hera Soars, go listen to it on YouTube). I love it because A) it's beautiful and excellent for our amazing queen, and B) in the moment when the B-Wing just drops out of the sky, the score just goes DEAD. And then when she comes shooting back up BAM the score's back and better than ever

-And frankly, that scene in general is just awesome. Seeing Hera showing off her skills as a pilot, being the queen we all know she is. It's so beautiful.

-Every time Zeb threatened to throw Quarrie off his own landing platform.

-"Never get between a Mandalorian and a weapon's package." Sabine, you gem

-Hera hugging Quarrie. Honestly I just love it, I feel like there's an au out there where they have a curmudgeony grandpa/sassy and sweet granddaughter relationship. Huh, guess I know what I'm thinking about tonight

-Kallus's kriffing FACE when he sees Hera blow the heck out of that ship gives me LIFE. He's just like "................crap."

-Conversely, Kanan's face when he sees Hera come in with the B-Wing gives me life but in a WHOLE OTHER WAY. He's such a proud husband. The "that's my wife" vibes couldn't be stronger if they tried

-The fact that Kanan tells Sato to promote Hera

-THE CREW LOOKING SO PROUD OF HERA WHEN SHE GETS HER PROMOTION AHHHHHHH I CAN'T THE FAMILY FEELS!!!!!!!

-Hera's the best pilot in the galaxy. That is all.

[bourbon-ontherocks]

(Previously, on GG rewatch...)

It’s 209 and we all know what this means. BRB, gonna scratch my eyeballs first...

My goodness, Turner is SAVAGE!! We miss a ruthless villain...

Okay so I don't know who in the gg crew is obsessed with vintage French pop music, but why did you have to inflict us France Gall's C'est ce sacré Charlemagne??? Why????

I see you Beth, going to the park with your crime jacket to try to talk Dean into getting your kids back... This is your power setting, isn't it? Also I love that Dean can't go through ONE line without bringing up Rio. He's definitely in love with him and the drawing on his neck!

Beth: "How do you think we pay for things?" Dean:"Who cares?" Uuuuh, Dean, literally EVERYONE cares about how they pay for things, it's like, basically how it works...

I really don't get why there are people who ship Annie with a guy who gets her a Starbucks coupon for helping his wife to give birth. I mean, not getting her anything would have been better than that, dick!

"Do I look like a genie to you?" This show definitely has a thing for genies...

IT'S LONELY AT THE TOP

Beth: "Could you give me a break?" Rio: "Fine, drinks are on me." Dickest. Move. Ever.

Awww I love it when he squeezes her shoulder on his way out... Also who is this person drinking alone in the back? Are they FBI? One of Rio's boys? Should I write their POV??

Forever mad at this show that Noah's FBI honestly. I'd ship him with Annie so hard otherwise...

Ugh, enough with the French pop songs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beth eating her industrial food alone in her kitchen is literally the image of Misery... Also: she's an alcoholic. Nobody drinks Bourbon like water during a fucking meal.

Honestly, I don't know what I hate the most in this episode, the worst heist of all times or the kissing scene...

Annie's line about baby birds feels extremely foreshadowing of Au Jus tbh

So Turner is straight up announcing he's going to bribe a fake witness to solidify his case against Stan?? Cool, cool, cool...

Wow, the dick contest between Noah and Greg is epic.

Disclaimer: I have literally no opinion on Phil Collins whatsoever

Gosh, Stan and Ruby's reunion in the police station parking lot is one of the show's most beautiful scenes.

Okay, meta question time. "You're a cop, Stanley." "I don't even know what that means." Do you guys think that witnessing Turner's corruption during interrogation is the reason why Stan loses faith in the law enough to embrace crime in season 3??

I'm having very mixed feelings about that second Beth-Dean scene in the park (which BTW I didn't even remember). Their heart-to-heart talk really implies that Beth ends things with Rio and crime not so much to get her kids back rather than because Dean tells her that "being cheated on makes you do crazy things". And that's really not the same thing.

Why is Greg popping at Annie's door literally a hundred times in that episode??

"I'm a D-bag. So I know when I see one." This is probably the most and only useful contribution from Greg I've ever heard tbh

Okay, WHO are these random people drinking alone in Rio's bar???

COULD THESE IDIOTS STOP EYEFUCKING FOR ONE DAMN MINUTE SO I CAN HAVE A LIFE??????

Ever since @juuuunaaaaoooo​ noticed Beth's change of shoes between "What am I doing here, Elizabeth?" and "It's just habit" I CANNOT unsee it...

************************************

NO I WILL NOT SAY A WORD ABOUT THE WORST KISS IN THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

************************************

Ugh.... Seeing Annie being tricked by Noah into confessing her crimes breaks my heart every time. She trusts him so much!!!!! 😭😭😭😭

Bonus 1: Who are these people, seriously????

Bonus 2: I'll never get over the tantrum Rio threw while Beth was in the shower honestly... 😂😂😂

[kristallioness]

Here's a piece I started work on for pride month last June, in 2019, but left it unfinished since I was exhausted from my internship and barely had time for anything else.. And apparently, I forgot to post my notes / (short) review of "Ruins of the Empire: Part One" as well. TT_TT

BUT, I'm gonna make up for my mistake by posting them at once. I hope you like it! I really loved this trilogy (well, so much that I felt the need to draw these two gay lovebirds, as you can clearly see..). I mean, look at Korra's cute, excited face when Asami kisses her on the cheek in this panel:

She's soooo adorable and in love! (｡◕ヮ◕｡) (They both are.) This scene was practically begging for a redraw, I couldn't help myself. You can read my review under the cut.

Twitter | my art / sketches

Varrick has to schedule a date with his wife.

That subtle handholding between Korra and Asami when Zhu Li greets King Wu. I'm grinning like an idiot and my heart's bursting with joy. That's so sweet!

Please note that Mako's hand isn't in a sling anymore. Kya has done an amazing job. I'm so proud of my lesbian cloudbaby (and so is Katara).

Grandma Yin is still great, she has a portrait of Wu, too.

Wu getting nervous before breaking out in song is a relatable feeling when public speaking.

In the panel where Zhu Li takes over to answer the journalists' questions she seems so beautiful and elegant and intelligent. I love that this trope for women is represented in the Avatar world as being successful in life, especially since she's a rather quiet type of person and a.. conservatively dressing one.. and slightly nerdy-looking, if you will, but she's one badass President.

Besides Irene Koh, the previous author of the "Turf Wars" trilogy, I'd like to thank these authors for also drawing a character wearing a hijab in the background of the panel where Kuvira's war crimes are being read aloud.

I love the world map in President Zhu Li's office and the modest, but cosy interior design.

Korra looks forward to meetings with her, she's so sweet to say that.

How do Korra and Asami look so pretty in every single panel in this comic? (I'm talking about the one where Asami reminds Wu that Kuvira surrendered to Korra.)

Reading this comic reminds me how much I loved Book 4 and all the new characters like Wu and Kuvira and how much I loved this series in general. Gosh, I desperately need a rewatch, it's been 3 4 YEARS!

Aww, poor Bolin! I hope he finds his calling soon.

Korra and Asami are holding hands again, I'm squeeing.

Again.. the handholding when Korra comforts her.

Korra's freaking adorable face when Asami kisses her. I can't handle the cuteness in this panel!

"And let's not forget how she ruined my coronation!" Oh my gosh, Wu, not the best timing! Everyone's expressions / glares are hilarious.

"I promised I'd always have your back Korra. So I'm in." Mako is making me cry, that was his last line in the series. This is so nostalgic and heartwarming!

"We might be working together, but we are not teammates. If you step out of line, or do anything to harm my friends, I won't hesitate to take you down. Do we have an understanding?" This threat reminds me of Katara's talk with Zuko right after he joined them and began his redemption arc.

Republic City's silhouette / landscape is still breathtaking and beautiful.

"Let's go, Wu. It's starting to stink in here." "Sorry, I tooted." Okay, this was pretty funny.

Korra comforting Wu that the United Republic took time to iron out its political kinks. That's really cool she's talking about the history of the fifth nation and its origins. Katara must've taught her so much, being there together with Aang when it all began after all...

I freaking LOVE protective and fierce Asami defending herself and her girlfriend from Kuvira. I mean: "I'm exactly where I want to be-- protecting Korra from YOU. So whatever little game you're playing it's not going to work. You're not going to drive a wedge between me and Korra."

"I've seen what lies at the end of that path-- DEATH AND DESTRUCTION." This is such a powerful line.

Naga is growling as Commander Guan hands in his candidacy, good girl!

Korra's lit up face when she mentions Toph.

We all knew Toph was gonna come back, but we didn't know WHY and now we do and I'm excited!

All in all, I am thrilled to have read this book and to own a copy of it 'cause, exactly like with "Turf Wars", it felt like an actual episode of the series. It was just.. SO.. GOOOOD!

[superbadassnatural]

Supernatural: The Musical

Summary: After an exhausting case, Y/N decides to give her boys a little treat. Square filled: Fan Fiction - episode (spntfwbingo) // Free Space (deanandsambingo) Pairing: Sam x Reader x Dean Word count: 2,172 Warnings: fluff, polyamourous relationship, feelings, brief mention of threesome A/N:  Not gonna lie, I rewatched this episode and I cried. Again. Gosh, this episode gets me so emotional. I’ve changed some things, but the prime idea of the episode is intact. This was written for @spntfwbingo and @deanandsambingo​. Hope you like it ;)

(x)

The strays of sunshine struggled to get past the grimes on the blinds, adding an orange glow to the motel room. Your eyes fluttered open. You blinked a few times as your hand fumbled through the nightstand in search of your phone. It was way too early to be awake. Although you knew you weren’t going to be able to go back to sleep.

You and the Winchester’s were exhausted. What was supposed to be a simple, quick salt and burn in Flint, Michigan ended up taking you guys a whole week to get it done. The boys were grumpy and impatient. Especially Dean. He’d complain every single day about the cheap motel you were staying in. Of course, it wasn’t the best thing in the world, but it wasn’t the worst either. You were now too used to the bunker and the homey feeling and everything less comfortable than that would cause some stress.

While in the bunker you three shared a bedroom with a giant super-king-sized bed, in the motel you had two kings. And you had to take turns between their beds. One night you’d sleep with Dean, the other with Sam, and so on.

Deep down both of them enjoyed having you all for themselves. They were now used to the idea of sleeping on the same bed with you in the middle. But Dean loves to sleep with you without his brother hogging the blanket. And Sam loves when he gets to hold you close to him without having his brother’s arm draped over your waist.

It is what it is. You still remember that one night after many drinks and lots of confessions while playing Never Have I Ever, you ended up in a hot, sweaty Winchester sandwich. Then feelings got in the way and you refused to choose between them and risk ruining their bond. So to your surprise, they had decided to share you and try this unconventional relationship. 8 months later and you guys are still strong.

You reached for Sam’s arm — that held you close to his chest, engulfing you in his warmth — and lifted slowly from your waist so you could get up.

“Where you going?” he mumbled, though his eyes remained closed. His voice was hoarse from sleep.

“Shh, I’m just going to get us breakfast,” you shushed him, removing a few strands of hair from his tender face. “You can go back to sleep, baby,” you placed a kiss on his pink lips.

Before you went to the bathroom to get ready to leave the room, you walked towards Dean’s bed. He was sound asleep. His plump lips parted and his hair spiking in different ways. You kissed his temple. His eyes squeezing unwittingly.

You changed your clothes and grabbed the car keys. Before walking out of the room, you left a note on the table to let them know you went out to grab breakfast.

There was a coffee shop a few blocks down the road that promised they had pie worth dying for. You ordered a latte for yourself and black for the boys, along with sandwiches for you and Sam and four slices of pie, since you knew Dean would have at least two.

As you waited, you couldn’t help but glance around the place, taking in every detail. It was very homey. The smell of coffee was delightful and the environment was really cozy.

“Marie is really stressed with her play,” you couldn’t help but hear the woman talk to her friend beside you. “She worked really hard and she’s worried about tonight.”

“I’m sure it’s gonna go great,” the other woman said. “I have never read those Supernatural books, but I’m sure the kids did a great job of turning it into a musical play.”

You almost choked on your own saliva. What the hell? Supernatural is now a musical play?, you thought to yourself.

“I’m sorry,” you approached them. “I didn’t mean to pry, but I heard you say that there’s a musical play of Supernatural and I’m a huge fan.”

“Really?” the dark-haired woman grinned wildly. “My daughter is directing the play.”

“Oh, that’s amazing!” you replied. “I’d love to attend this play. Do you know when they’re performing?”

“It’s tonight actually. It takes place in St. Alphonso’s Academy’s auditorium. It’s a school play,” she exclaimed. “I’m sure that there are a few tickets that hadn’t been sold yet. You can buy it at school.”

“That’s great!” you jabbered. “I’m gonna do this right away.”

“The school is close by. Just a couple blocks down the road.”

“Got it. Thank you,” you replied, leaving them be as you grabbed your order and headed out of the cafe.

You were back at the motel in no time with breakfast and three tickets for “Supernatural: the musical”. You knew they wouldn’t be fond of it, but it was the kind of distraction you three needed.

“You’re not dragging me to this,” Dean growled with a shake of his head.

“C’mon Dean, this can be fun. We need to relax a little,” you whined.

“Fun? There’s nothing fun about our lives, Y/N,” he hissed.

“Baby, please, it’s a musical. It’ll be nice,” you cupped his stubbled cheeks. “Please, for me,” you pouted, batting your eyelashes.

The hunter let out a defeated sigh with a roll of his eyes. You grinned.

Dean is usually more difficult into talking him out of something. In the beginning, you had a hard time convincing him to agree to do what you asked. But time passed and you learned from Sam that if you give him your best puppy dog eyes, he’ll give in. Ever since you learned that you have your way with both of them. Just a simple batting of lashes and a kicked dog face are able to get them to do whatever you want. And right now you want to go to that concert.

“I can’t wait to see this,” you beamed, hopping out of the backseat once Dean parked in front of St. Alphonso’s Academy.

“You’re weirdly excited about this,” Sam frowned.

“You know, I wanna see who is portraying us. And if I’m at the story at least.”

You entered the auditorium and made your way to your seats. As usual, you were sitting between them. Dean got up before it started to grab some popcorn and — since there was no beer — coke for you and water for Sammy. He’d be happily drinking whiskey from his flask.

The lights went out and the auditorium was dark, save for the spotlight on the curtains. A girl dressed as who you assumed to be Sammy appeared on stage.

“Good evening everybody,” she greeted. Her wig was on point. “Welcome to our production of Supernatural.”

“Look, that’s you,” you nudged Sam, whispering.

“Yeah,” he sighed. “This is weird,”

“Not gonna lie. It might be a full-on Gallagher show up in this piece, heh,” she warned. “So those of you in the front rows may want to use the ponchos we provided under your seats. You may in fact get wet on this ride.”

“She’s so nervous. That’s cute,” you said.

“So everybody just sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.”

With that, she walked out. Rock music began to play and the curtains opened slowly. You were so excited you could feel your heart beating faster. In fact, you looked like a child in a candy store.

The whole scenario was beautiful and it was obvious they had put so much effort into it. As a girl dressed as Dean appeared, your Dean almost choked on his popcorn.

“You gotta be kidding me,” he muttered.

“John and Mary, husband and wife,” Dean, the character, began to sing, “Bringing home a brand new life. His name is Sammy. I’m big brother Dean.”

You were completely loving it so far. The boys… well, they weren’t hating it. Both of them had their brows furrowed as they tried to get used to the idea of the musical.

“There’s no singing in Supernatural,” Dean mumbled.

Despite their annoyance, in no time you could see Sam tapping his fingers on his thigh according to the beat of the song. As you look down, Dean was also tapping his feet. So they were enjoying it after all.

As Sam, the character, started singing a song about Dean, you felt the boys tense a little. You reached for their hands. This play was starting to hit them somehow.

The play went on. Eventually, a girl dressed as yourself appeared on stage. It seemed that in the books you were dating Dean. Yet, there was something odd about the way your character was close to Sammy. Subtext. And it was funny how they put on some tension — sexual tension, you dare to say — between Cas and Dean. Again. Subtext. The musical went on. Its primal focus was the story of the two brothers so you didn’t appear on most of the scenes. Either way, you enjoyed seeing yourself from a different point of view.

What seemed to be the final act started. The boys were driving baby. This time you weren’t on the scene. It was the so-called BM scene — no, not bowel-movement, but boy melodrama.

“We need to go back on the road, Dean,” fake Sam glanced at his brother. “Doing what we do best,” a smile appeared on the girl’s face. “Saving people. Hunting things. You know, the family business.”

The scene played out in front of you and the boys smiled. They tightened the hold on your hand as if to be sure you were there with them. You had tears in your eyes and you were trying to hold them back or both of them would pick on you for the rest of your life.

“You’re right, Sammy,” fake Dean smirked. “Out on the road. Just the two of us.”

“The two of us against the world,”

A sob escaped your lips. Two sets of eyes landed on you. Sam and Dean smiled sympathetically. You were definitely the most sensitive out of the three of you. Dean wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer to him. You laid your head on his shoulder. Sam grabbed your hand between his giant ones and pressed to his lips. As Dean’s thumb caressed soothingly your waist, Sam’s did on your hand. Both of them reassuring you they were there with you.

“The three of us against the world,” Sam corrected. And here you thought you couldn’t love him more.

A girl over the piano started playing “Carry On My Wayward Son”. The girl who had played Mary started singing, followed by the one who’d starred as John. Then the cast joined them. Their voice was beautiful and it only made you cry even more.

“Who’s that?” Sam asked as a girl with a short, blond wig appeared.

“I think that’s Adam,” you sniffed. “You know, your brother who’s still in the cage trapped with Lucifer,”

You were an entire mess. Lots of tears running down your flushed cheeks. Seeing your lives from another point of view really hit you. And most important the reminder of the Winchester’s unbreakable bond.

Sam stared at the scene in front of him. The youngest Winchester was not sure about what he was feeling. He only knew there was something in his chest that wasn’t there before. He had hope. Deep down he’s starting to believe that, despite all the things he had been through, there might be a way out. Maybe one day everything will end and he’ll be able to live a peaceful life. A normal life. With all its boredom and safety.

The corner of his lips curled up a little. His hazel eyes held a glisten of hope.

Dean was on a internal conflict as the musical wrapped up in front of his eyes. This was a light version of his life. It didn’t have all the blood, all the pain, and all the losses. It didn’t show how broken he is. And even though he’s had many moments of joy, his life was miserable. In his point of view, there might not be a way out of hunting. This play hit him harder than he’d like to admit.

The oldest Winchester’s jaw clenched slightly. His green orbs reflecting how broken and hopeless he felt.

————— “See, it wasn’t that bad,” you pointed as you climbed in the backseat of the impala.

They only hummed in response. Yep, a school play hit them hard. The roar of the impala broke the silence as Dean started it.

“So, Destiel huh?” you smirked, knowing it would piss Dean off.

“I still think it should be Deastiel,” Sam replied. “What about Samstiel?”

“That sounds weird. I think it’s Sastiel,”

“You’re probably right,” Sam nodded, but you could tell there was something his mind was working on. “CasDean?”

“Alright,” Dean barked. “Both of you, shut your faces.”

Feedback is always appreciated! Please, let me know what you think of this one. Feel free to share your thought via reply, reblog or ask.

Want to get tagged? Add yourself to my taglist here!

Dean sweethearts:

@maya-craziness​

Sam babes:

@maya-craziness​

[alphabees-writes]

Glee - S1 E1 (Pilot)

Is it a smart idea to rewatch glee again? No.

Am I going to do it anyway? You bet your sweet bippy I am!

Am I going to liveblog my garbage monkey brain thoughts along the way even though nobody asked for it? Hell yeah.

Here goes!

Wow. The first frame of this entire show is literally of a woman who looks like she’s about 10 years above the natural lifespan of a Cheerio. Then again, I’m sure Sue’s not above holding back her best recruits for multiple years because Ohio high schools are apparently just Like That™

I also never notice this opening song was a remix of Keep Me Hangin On, wow. That’s actually kind of interesting foreshadowing of sorts, like, kind of smart. I’m glad I’m watching the part of Glee that was kind of smart.

This scene also doesn’t feature any of the Unholy Trinity as far as I can see. Are they a JV squad? Am I putting too much thought into this?

Sign #1 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Really, my guy? Driving around with your muffler dragging on the ground so bad it’s making sparks? That’s not very Road Safety of you. Fuck off. 

Sign #2 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Wow, there’s going to be a lot of these, huh? Anyway, anybody with working eyes would clearly see how scared Kurt is right now. “Making some new friends Kurt?” Fuck off. 

KURT. FIRST SIGHTING OF THE BOY. What a delight. But also, not a delight, because he’s being bullied and he deserves better. Look at his outfit. Iconic from day fucking one. 

Finn, you’re a himbo. What’re you doing with these assholes?

Puck’s first line in the whole series is “It’s hammer time!” What a fucking dork? Who made this boy popular. 

DO MORE THAN TAKE HIS COAT, FINN. LET HIM GOOOOO!!!

I paused while they were tossing Kurt in the dumpster and, wow, got the most hilarious frame where the guy who isn’t Puck is getting a meticulously polished boot to the face. Netflix let me take screenshots, you coward.

The first shot of Quinn... My wlw bones are shaking.

Why would they use that photo for Lillian Adler...? WHO WAS BORN IN 1937, MIGHT I ADD. THAT’S NOT A REAL YEAR. 

It’s weird to see Mr Schue actually speaking competent Spanish. Why did they veto that later? The ONE likeable thing about him was his competence as a school teacher, and they really threw it out the window huh?

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE MEMBERS OF SANDY RYERSON’S GLEE CLUB??? This kid seems to really like singing. Also, welcome to the beginning of Ryerson being annoying as all hell.

Oh my gosh, the background choir stuff. This show really had style back in the day!!!

R A C H E L B E R R Y Y O U R M A K E U P ! ! !

Ken Tanaka walked so incels could run.

Jane Lynch you beauty. You absolutely impeccable beauty. 

“Since when are cheerleaders performers?” Uh... Emma...? I get that Sue’s going ham on her budget but, like, be nice to the students? They perform their butts off!

Sue really just BRAGGED about having an iPhone. I was 9 when this came out. Why do I feel old...

Sign #3 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: He hears his coworker, presumably of several years, just got fired and doesn’t even ask why. He just jumps on the glee club like a frog on hot asphalt. 

He really wants to Make The Glee Club Great Again, huh? 

MySpace was really a thing, huh? And why does this grown-ass male teacher know so much about the students having them?

I know nothing about actual American schools, but I do know that they sure as shit don’t work like this. Why does a club have to win EVERY competition to be considered an asset?

Mr Shoe really lying awake at night half-naked next to his wife thinking about the glee club already? Yeah sounds about right. Also, of course you’d think up Nude Erections for a name, you asshole. Put some clothes on.

R E S P E C T MERCEDES YES!!!

Brad the piano player was really here from day ONE... Icon.

Cellophane, Mr Cellophane... Yes Kurt bby you killed it. 

Chris Colfer looks so YOUNG here!!! 

The hair fix... I C O N I C !

Tina really wrote her stutter down, huh? And nobody ever saw through it? Amazing. 

The goth Tina look, too... Perfect... Never change...

Say what you want about Rachel Berry being generally insufferable, but I really fucking feel it when she sings On My Own. The monologue kind of kills The Drama of it, but they really solidly established her character by layering them. She really is a gold star right now.

The first-ever on-screen slushie!

The way she walks down that hall. My God you can just see how terrible she is to be around.

Never forget Rachel staring at photos of her with two men who turned out to not be her dads. Who are they? What are their stories? We’ll never know.

God, I love this stupid scene of Quinn, Santana, and a bunch of Cheerios cartoonishly typing hate comments on Rachel’s MySpace video and laughing like knock-off Disney villains. 

I like watching season 1 Artie because season 1 Artie was a good character. Mostly. And he KILLED Sit Down, You’re Rocking The Boat. Rachel wasn’t asking for a male lead who could keep up with her vocally, she was being straight up ableist and that’s a fact. I love Cory, but Kevin McHale was always a better singer.

Mercedes picking up and spinning Rachel for this little routine is something I never really appreciated before, it’s cute even though they don’t like each other yet!

I really don’t get why Rachel says they suck. Yeah, sure, she’s gunning for a solo, but the vocals were solid there. The choreo was just a little janky, possibly because it’s their first EVER rehearsal?

“There is NOTHING ironic about show choir!” Incredible.

How long did it take Mr Shoe to find Rachel out on the bleachers? Did he search the whole school first?

ARTIE! CAN! KEEP! UP! WITH! YOU! VOCALLY!

I never understood Rachel quitting so soon. How long was she in the old glee club for? Surely they were never popular either?

Ah, the first “My hands are tied” for the series. Mr Figgins is a garbage principal. 

Not going to advise the principal against referring to Artie as a cripple, William Shoestir? Alright. 

How did the Schuester marriage last as long as it has? Do Will and Terri’s insufferable personalities just cancel one another out?

Sandy Ryerson really just openly brags about cheating the system for medical marijuana and dealing it? 

Matt Morrison 100% has lip fillers. Nobody’s smile curls like that naturally.

“Terri and I are trying to get pregnant” What a weird way to phrase it. What is it, a race? Who’s going to get knocked up first!

A FIFTH OF BEETHOVEN, HOW I’VE MISSED YOU... The sound design of this show at this point is just... *Chef hand kiss*

“What you’re doing right now is called blurring the lines” Oh just wait until season 4, Sue... Just you wait.

WHY is Mr Schuester so ridiculously sweaty? I didn’t need to think about that?

EVERYONE on the football team is 30.

William Schuester you can’t just watCH TEENAGE STUDENTS SING IN THE SHOWER YOU ARE A TEACHER WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR LICENSE?! 

Hearing Cory sing this always makes me emotional. What a talent!

Sign #4 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: I don’t think I need to say why using the weed to blackmail Finn is a shitty thing to do, do I?

“I’ll pee in a cup! ...I’ll pee...” I love Cory’s delivery. 

PRIORITY #1: HELP THE KIDS Oh season 1... I love you so.

Mr Schue you WISH you were anything like Finn Hudson. You never will be.

Ah... Finn’s first monologue. He’s such a sweetheart. AND SO IS CAROLE. Carole is a queen I will stan forever. YOU THROW THAT MILK BB!!!

All Finn wants to do is make his mom proud. What a sweetheart. Mr Schue you do NOT deserve him.

These POV shots really enhance things, why the fuck did they stop using them?

Subtly having Kurt look at Finn in the same shot as Rachel was a nice touch indeed!

RACHEL WAS REALLY DOWN WITH ROLLING ARTIE RIGHT OFF THE STAGE HUH?

Terri’s a straight up hoarder, huh? Like a raccoon but instead of collecting edible garbage, it’s monogrammed garbage.

Surely you can’t just... BECOME an accountant, right? You need some serious qualifications for that right?

Also say what you want about how insufferable Terri is but her actress is ridiculously talented and absolutely steals every scene she’s in.

Now the background choir is doing Soul Bossa Nova and I am L I V I N G why didn’t they keep that motif!!! It was so ICONIC!

I don’t need my prostate removed. RIP Carole Hudson but I’m different :/

NO MEANS NO, KEN! TAKE THE L AND MOVE ON! Way to take out the fact that a girl won’t date you on everybody else around you! Toxic bastard. The absolute stench of melodrama on this bastard is noxious.

I was going to ask why Rachel didn’t know about Finn and Quinn if they’d already been together for 4 months, but then I remembered gossiping requires friends...

“Terri rides me. Hard. And I’ve always appreciated it!” Why don’t we talk about how this line sounds more. Why doesn’t Emma bat an eye at it oh my god

HERE COMES VOCAL ADRENALINE!!! And Jesse St. James is nowhere to be seen. How convenient. Also, they’re all 30. I’m sensing a pattern.

Sorry VA, all songs popularised my Amy Winehouse legally belong to Santana Lopez

Puck, if you were stupid enough to fall for the prostate excuse, that’s on you. Or maybe it’s on the education system...

You can do better that Mr Schue, kids. Don’t mourn him.

Ok, what the fuck is this scene where he’s filling out the job app to become an accountant? There’s a dude in the row in front off him just throwing crisps around? What is this place?? Why are you here sir??? 

“Accounting is sexy” shut up you horrible married man

The Cheerios sure did have straight ponytails for like, one episode, huh?

Finn is such a good boy. He doesn’t know it yet, but he is, and saving Artie from that portapotty is his first step to figuring it out.

This shot of Finn just wheeling Artie out of there... Ugh. My HEART.

KURT WHAT ARE THOSE LAYERS? SWEATER SHIRT SWEATER? HELLO???

Pee balloons. Nailing the lawn furniture to the roof. Finn, you’re better than that!!! Stop your dudebros. 

They really had Artie be a guitar player, and a pretty good one at that, but they never mentioned it again? Artie had such potential SMH. (Also, Netflix subtitles are telling me it’s Arty, but I categorically refuse to spell it that way.)

Whyyyyy didn’t he go to KURT for the costumes as well? Look at his outfit, Finn. He clearly wants in on that job. 

Will Schuester really is just desperately clinging to his glory days in high school. I’d feel bad for him if he wasn’t such a creep about it. 

Emma, meaningfully: Do you know who that is? That’s you, Will... [FRANTIC DISCO MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND]

I find it hilarious how the audio of Don’t Stop Believin’ just DOES NOT match the characters except for the solos... Also wow, autotune city. Am I awful for genuinely not liking this cover? 

I like watching them perform it though. Kurt’s adorable little shimmy... Rachel and Tina smiling at each other like that... Everybody having a blast... I’m here for it

LOOK AT MY BABIES TILTING THOSE MIC STANDS...

Ok the way Rachel and Finn look at each other here is making me FEEL

I know Puck’s about to join anyway but WHY is he there watching... Just to have a mysterious bad boy moment? Lol you dramatic bastard

Please let them win nationals without you, Will.

So, yeah! There’s that! Those are my thoughts and feelings, basic though they may be. Episode one is fantastic, the kids are fantastic, and William Schuester can suck a toe. 

[londonspirit]

Thoughts aka ALL THE FEELS!

I’ve seen it three four times now and I’m still all over the place!!! 

I’ve cried my way through the first viewing: started on Vormir and didn’t really stop until the end! And went full on bawling and ugly sobbing in the last 30 minutes or so.  It got better with every time but in the end I was always in tears, sobbing (not so) silently into my scarf.  Here are some random and not in order thoughts, gathered through the last four times. 

- the first moments where Hawkeye loses his family were terrible, and my heart ached for him. 

- HEARING Sam in the earpiece made me all mushy and squeey and there might have been noises. “On your left” will forever make me all teary eyed from now on! 

- seeing all these portals opening gave me all the goosebumps: that was one hell of a fucking epic entrance!!! 

- as was the Ladies’s Squad moment! So fucking incredible! I cheered so much!! 

- CAROL!!! The HAIR! Her “Hi, Peter Parker” She’s the fucking cutest, and I love her so much!!! 

- Peter freaking Parker!!! As little screen time as he had, it was perfect. And he finally got that fucking hug!!!! And it was a damn good one!!! *clutches heart* 

- Tony Fucking Stark!  My beautiful, flawed, very human superhero! My darling darling heart. God, I can’t even type this without tearing up. 11 years in the making, he’s made the final sacrifice, gave us the ultimate proof that he’s got the biggest and softest heart in all of history!!! I had a bad feeling going into the film,  I feared it would end like this. Yet, it was perfect, the only way I could accept it.  I’m just glad he’d got at least a few years of peace and happiness. Im so proud of him, leaving behind one hell of a legacy in form of his wife and his lovely (and probably clever as fuck) daughter who will carry on her fathers heart and soul inside of her! Im sure she’ll be doing some GREAT things!!! 

- Family Stark! Soft cuddly cardigan wearing Tony,  sweet understanding Pepper, cute kid who’s just as cheeky as her Dad!! *clutches heart*  Im sure there’ll be a shitload of fic covering those five years and I’ll be reading them all!!! 

- Pepper. Gosh, that woman. In the past, she made me want to smack her around the head, tell her to either have patience or just leave him (alone). Yet she stuck around, and for the very first time she actually UNDERSTOOD what her man’s doing. In the end she understood. And she let him go which broke my heart into a million pieces. She loves him. And there it shows. She’s always tried to keep him save, and upon realizing that she couldn’t, she gave him the peace and love he deserved and needed. And in the end, she’d let him go. He can rest indeed now. *sobs violently* Even after a fourth time seeing it (and making it through most of it without crying), that fucking sentence is my undoing. Always. 

- all the tiny callbacks to 22 movies - such a beautiful love letter to everything the MCU achieved and continues to do. The elevator scene, Bucky’s goodbye in the end, Tony’s last line.. all those tiny things (thankfully fresh in my mind due to recent rewatches!) are so lovely and wonderful and I love them all for doing them!!! Such attention to detail - one of the many reasons I do love the MCU so much!!! 

- fucking CHEESEBURGERS!! Never thought some simple food will be the reason for more violent and very ugly sobbing! 

- PEGGY! JARVIS! HOWARD! The Ancient One! All those ‘old’ faces, that was so cool!!! And very unexpected so that was an amazing surprise! 

- the fucking END CREDITS!!! The OG 6 getting their special moment!!! That was soo beautiful and made me sob all over again!!! 

- Cap!! As y’all know he’s NOT my fav (and even though he was a tad OOC in this (LANGUAGE, Cap!), he won me over in this. I loved the quips (”Yeah, I KNOW!”)  tho, and also LOOOOOOOOOVED him wielding the fucking hammer!!! God, that was incredible!!! I wished I could see this for the first time again and again! The entire cinema exploded into cheers, it was amazing!!! (Which naturally leads to me wanting to know whether he faked not being able to move that damn thing back in AoU or if he’s grown worthy during the last few years…)  Im seeing loads of people not liking the ending, feeling that it’s not what he would do. Seriously??? That man’s saved the world/the universe soo many time, sacrificed so much to keep everyone save, and you still think - given the chance - he wouldn’t go and FINALLY have the happy ending he deserves? I mean, I’m not a comic book person, I can only go from the films but honestly, it was the only way they could’ve ended Cap’s storyline. He knows everyone’s save, there’s nothing left to do for him (cause you can bet your ass that Tony made sure EVERY SINGLE THREAT has been eliminated with that damn snap!) why wouldn’t he pursue some happiness for himself after all these years. 

- 3 hours have never felt this short!!! There was barely a lull in the storyline (after my third viewing i would choose only two scenes to run to the loo and they’re pretty early on so…), the pace is incredible, the plot’s tight and well thought through.  Yes, the time-traveling isn’t perfect but honestly, that’s not the point. It’s about the people, the OG Six and their relationships, built through the years, about love and respect, about the trauma they all went through and how they dealt with it. It’s all about the people, the plot for once is only secondary. And that’s fine. It works when you don’t think about it too hard (just don’t, you’ll only get a headache from it). And even if, there’s a few explanations out there already, and I can totally live with that. I don’t need this explained in the smallest detail. It works perfectly (for me), that’s all I care about. 

- I also wonder about a few things: just read that Hollands lines might have been altered and now Im dying to know whether that’s true. I wouldn’t put it past the Russos to have him say something else entirely and then did ADR with a gazzilion lines only to throw him off.  Same goes for everyone else: did they KNOW they were filming Tony’s death and his funeral? Or did they film more and differently and didn’t tell them what as actually happening? When did they tell RDJ that he was going to die? And how? Was he allowed to have a say in it? SO MANY questions. I NEED ANSWERS!! 

- Tony’s speech in the end!!! That was not only Tony speaking, to me that was also RDJ, saying goodbye (finally able to actually LISTEN to him w/o sobbing  too loudly). And that makes it even more wonderful and sad and heartbreaking and lovely!´I will miss him so fucking much. He’s been MY hero from the start; and even though there have been more over the years to adore and worship, when it comes to choosing one over the others, I will always chose Iron Man! .. .no, I will always chose TONY STARK! He’s been my first superhero, I’ve been with him all the way, and I will always remember the time when he was Iron Man, ready to die for the world, hell, the universe, sacrificing all he had for the lives of everyone else. Which in the end he did without hesitating. 

All in all it was the perfect homage to the Original 6! A perfect ending, coming full circle after 11 years! Everyone got their arc closed, their story told. There’s new blood now, Carol and Scott, Shuri and Valkyrie, Strange and Spidey, and more, they will keep everyone save! 

So yeah, seeing it four times (with a fifth one in the works (on Sunday) and perhaps a sixth with a friend along the line), I’m still loving every damn second, and it’s still the best and most epic and perfect film in the entirety of the MCU!  I will miss Tony, his snark, his biting sarcasm, his huge heart, his looking after everyone whether they want it or not.  But the MCU is in good hands, I have the feeling Carol will be taking over that part (the sass is already there!), and I’m sure the rest will do pretty damn great!  You can rest now, Tony

[nothing-personal-my-dear]

Spartacus: Blood and Sand Rewatch - Episode 5: Shadow Games

Sex Scene: omg not a single sex scene!!

“Cock”: 7

“Cunt”: 1

“Kill Them All”: 0

Whip Cracks: 3

Slow motion Face Punch: 2

Memorable Death:  Theokoles, duh.

Favourite Line:  “You fucking haemorrhoid sucking fuck”

- They all still calling Spartacus “rabbit”, I wish someone had mentioned this in like S3, that would have been so great.

- Aww no, Pietros going to give Gnaeus water tears my heart. He was too good for this world, literally.

- “Jupiter’s cock”!!!!!! I get way too excited about hearing these words!

- Lucretia always looks fan-fucking-tastic then Quintus looks like such tasteless loser, he really had no fashion sense especially compared to his gorgeous wife.

- Okay when I first saw the pound of flesh I thought they transferred the mark onto a pig or something….but I’m pretty sure that’s the actual guy’s shoulder….so super gross.

- Eating maggots, oh god I’m gonna be sick, it’s too gross.

- Lucretia and Quintus are so in love, it’s almost sickening.

- “Examine my wares”, slaves are things not people.

- Everyone’s “oh shit” faces

- Oh! I was wrong about the one armed slave, here he is again

- Barca draping himself all over Crixus, I love it.

- “Prepare them for a glorious death,” like he doesn’t care that his best fighters are about to die, dude really?

- Okay someone has been giving Crixus lessons on flirting, boy’s game is strong!! I’m a little weak kneed from the way he looks at Naevia, oh boy.

- NOOOOOO Barca making his bet, noooooooo, my heart can’t take this

- I love how one moment Barca is typical angry brute Barca but then it’s like he remembers he’s talking to his boyfriend and everything about him softens. It’s beautiful.

- Oh god, background Gnaeus checking out Pietros, fuuuuuuck.

- Oh, now they mention the title of last week’s episode, couldn’t they have done that during the ep!

- Seriously Lucretia you are no subtle.

- Oenomaus is so BAMF I can’t even deal

- Knowing that Ilithyia is a manipulative person I’m wondering if all this bimbo nonsense is just a manipulation?????

- “I fight to honour these walls, you fight to leave them,” = basically the whole issue between Spartacus and Crixus right there.

- Oh wow. Crixus talking about Spartacus dreaming about his wife and saying she’s been fucked into madness……Foreshadow much? It actually hurts though, he has no idea the pain his words inflict, until someone like Agron says them to him later on.

- Naked wrestling. When I first saw this I thought it was incredibly homoerotic, now I’m thinking it’s way past erotic and just full blown homosexual. I mean really?? C’mon!

- Seriously give Crixus all the kudo’s, he’s probably the most sexually assaulted character on the show and everyone just brushes it aside because he’s male.

- Penis!

- “Can you survive this?”  for some reason that line really speaks to me.

- Spartacus reaching out to touch Batiatus was a massive move, like holy hell you can feel the tension in the room

- Just when I was worried no one was going to say “cunt” in this episode, good old Batiatus spouts off his usual colourful phrases.

- “I will have satisfaction”, I hate that line, it’s so full of cheese

- When Doctore removes his breast plate I was so hoping for something gruesome and amazing, but his neat scars were seriously underwhelming.

- Oh gosh, I want to cry. They just want a baby so badly.

- Ugh I hated that Ilithyia wanted to stay for the ritual. Seriously, give a woman some privacy.

- Ah, the penis candle.

- Ovidious’ son wears a necklace that looks an awful lot like the slave collar…except his is ya know, gold….. Actually the Magistrate and his family have the same necklace… What does it mean????

- I hate men like Batiatus, that command people to do unimaginable things but would never do the act themselves. I call them cowards.

- Crixus is so up himself

- The fact that Crixus has been able to get an erection for Lucretia at all astounds me.

- So apparently oral wasn’t a big thing back in ancient Rome and the act of a noble woman doing such to a slave is unimaginable. It just wouldn’t happen. This is for the benefit of the modern culture.

- Did Crixus and Naevia have sex? Wouldn’t that be her first time??

- Aw I love the promises between Varro and Spartacus. True brothers, following out the others cause.

- Crixus fighting for Naevia instead of glory, I love it so much

- I realised the Magistrate isn’t calling out their last names or whatever but he’s actually stating the style in which they fight. Ah the things you learn when you plummet to the depths of fandom

- “Shall we begin”!!!!!!!!!!!

- Barca posing, again.

- Theokoles entrance was so extra!

- Hey, he stole Crixus’ line

- Fucking Ashur

- THE SHIELD JUMP!!

- Crixus shoving organs back inside himself, super gross

- Crixus never seems overly smart but that helmet trick was genius.

[confinedmadness]

Merlin (TV Series)

Finished watching Merlin at 2am this morning and spent another hour just rewatching parts of the last episode again and again. It has been a very good and fun week. I will miss Merlin so much. I can only imagine how the people who actually watched the series as it aired feel. The fandom is still very much alive until now and I believe it just goes to show how deeply this series stayed with everyone and how it will with me.

SPOILERS BELOW

Merlin and Lancelot

It is my personal belief that had Lancelot lived longer, he really would have been Merlin’s best friend (and maybe he already was). Lancelot is too kind, it actually hurts. And Merlin is the only person who knows it completely. Likewise, Lancelot was the only one Merlin could truly be himself with (well, apart from Gaius, Freya, and Kilgharrah… but they were his guardian, lover, and mentor; I just really wanted him to have a friend who was just… a friend. A good friend). That scene (in season 4?) when Merlin cleaned Arthur’s shirt with magic on Lancelot’s suggestion was so short, but so so precious.

Merlin and Freya

I have seen that some people do not like Freya. But I liked her, and I liked the two of them together. Merlin was so happy when he was with her. And though he was the one taking care of Freya for most of the time they were together, Freya had a gentleness about her that put Merlin at ease. She loved him to the point that she planned to escape alone so Merlin would not have to leave the life he had in Camelot (which he had been wiling to give up!! and that was probably the strongest indication of his feelings). I only wish their time together had been a little longer or the development of their relationship given even just a little more time. I am so conflicted because I like to believe Merlin never loved anyone the same way again, but I am also sad for him and want him more than anyone to find new love. </3 When he hesitated for a bit before setting Freya’s dead body on fire was surprisingly the most painful moment of that episode. (Colin Morgan is an acting genius, I swear).

Merlin and Arthur

I enjoyed the dynamic between the two of them. I really love how Arthur gradually listened more and more to Merlin as time went on. When Merlin was imprisoned in season 5, I was so happy when Arthur said there was no way Merlin could have done it. And even though he masked it as Merlin being not smart enough to do anything, we all know he actually does trust Merlin not to betray him regardless of whether he had the ability to do so or not.

I’ve always believed that Merlin was Arthur’s best friend. But that unless Arthur knew of and accepted Merlin’s magic, Merlin would never really be truly comfortable around him. Which is why, I replayed the last episode so many times. Because it is in those short few days that both of them are finally their true selves around each other and it was beautiful. Arthur’s face when Gaius told him Merlin is the greatest sorcerer to ever walk the earth was priceless. More than that, I loved that Arthur was smart enough to realize how Merlin has been protecting him all this time, and yet I also like how even then he still has no idea of the true extent of what Merlin has done for him. Because I guess it just shows that all Merlin really wanted was for Arthur to know of his magic, but not necessarily of anything and everything he does for him. It is so selfless, I can’t even.

Dragoon the Great

He was everything. My gosh, he was absolutely precious. I loved it every time he appeared and he never fails to make me laugh. Oh, if Lancelot was alive he would have loved him too, I just know it. Favorite scene? I want to say everything! Favorite quote? Too difficult to choose!!! But for some reason, what really stuck with me more so than others was: “Percival! That is a sword. It does hurt.” =))

Aithusa

Once again, I am going to rave about Colin Morgan’s acting ability because when he met Aithusa again in the caves, the hurt, worry, and confusion was so clearly expressed. Actually, every time he has to use his dragonlord powers to force Aithusa to do something (even if that something is to stop her(him?) from killing people) always seems to hurt Merlin. When they met in the caves, he even tried to just tell her to go before he was forced to command her.

I’m wondering if Aithusa was able to speak when she first met Morgana. Otherwise, Morgana knowing her name is such a big plot hole. I like to believe that at the end, Aithusa was free and that Merlin often called her and Kilgharrah together to have dragon tea parties. Hahaha Unlikely, though, as Merlin respected their freedom and tried as much as possible not to call on Kilgharrah. Also, since Kilgharrah has started to weaken by end of season 5. I do hope that Aithusa and Merlin became as good friends as Kilgharrah and Merlin were.

Mordred

The funny thing is, the prophecy happened precisely because Merlin tried so hard to prevent it. Mordred was good, and I believe he really was up until the very end. The reason he betrayed Morgana was because she had lost all compassion. And when he helped Kara escape, he was also shocked to see her kill people so easily and with no remorse. When Morgana took the magic of one of their people, he was also the one who noted how there should have been no reason to do so, especially to their own kind. And at the very end, I interpreted him telling Arthur “you gave me no choice” as Modred saddened by the fact that (at least in his perspective), Arthur likewise wasn’t the man he thought he was. If anything, Mordred was probably the main character who despised violence the most (even more so than Merlin). I can’t help but be sad because Mordred had the makings of becoming a very good friend to both Arthur and Merlin because he was both a knight and a druid. He had a connection to both and it just didn’t happen and it makes me sad.

Morgana

If anyone wants to compare Morgana before and after her betrayal of Camelot, one only needs to see when Gwen was captured on both times. Her actions and her reactions were so different. It was really when I thought, “yes, she’s gone now”. I wonder what would have happened if Gaius had told her she had magic, and helped her hide and nurture it like he did Merlin. I wonder what would have happened if Merlin had told her he had magic, too, and they bonded over their similarities. I wonder what would have happened if she’d been able to stay with the druids she met when Merlin helped her find them. They were peaceful druids who didn’t want to hurt Uther, unlike her sister Morgause. It was really terrible how all her sufferings made her so different from what she was.

Really loved how she feared Emrys though. XD

The Ending

Gwaine’s death was really sad because he could have survived. :(

I was happy that Gwen figured out Merlin in the end. I just hope Merlin being unable to save Arthur didn’t change her view on anything (yes, I’m being pessimistic, and we’ll never know).

On my previous rant about Uther

In a post I made after I finished the first season, I ranted about how I just couldn’t understand why Uther thought magic was against him when all that happened was he made the mistake of using magic to have a child and it killed his wife. I said it made sense he hated the sorceress or even magic in general (even though he was to blame, at least partly), but that it didn’t make sense why he’d think all sorcery is a conspiracy against him and his kingdom.

When Arthur learned about the truth of his birth in season 2 and he angrily charged at Uther, I think he put it really well when he said that Uther was looking for something/someone to put all the blame to and in that attempt to free himself from guilt, he made everything/everyone related to magic an enemy in his mind. I guess the old druids were right. He is not someone to hate, but someone to pity. (I still hate him though, urgh. It just really became so annoying how he has managed to convince himself that he and only he is right and that he really did no mistake.)

And seeing just how Morgana changed by the time of the fifth season, I guess I could see how Uther could have reached his beliefs. Both were filled with grief and were in distress. Both couldn’t get rid of it until it just turned to hate– very strong hate to the point that their actions against the target of their hate no longer had reason or meaning. Unfortunately, father and daughter truly are more alike than Morgana would ever dare admit.

[sitaaronkepaar]

Daily Rikara Ramblings

Oh god, I know today's episode will give me high-key michmichis. Pls give me strength

Aww, Gauri's so cute in the precap. Also, it's kinda giving me English Vinglish teas.

Hain, why is Annika crying? Also, she's looking pwetty!! ♥️

Uff, yeh Oberoi's raaz banane ki factory hai. Har din naye naye raaz manufacture karte hai. Ffwding 🙄🙄🙄

God, why did you make gauri so QUYT!!! Like I want to hate this track, but Gauri's being so cute in it 😫😫😫

Thank god, crying, insecure Gauri is bye bye though. I was getting major michmichis looking at her. Back to my beautiful, confident, chirpy bulbul. That's the spirit kid. ♥️

Lol, iss uncle ki toh genuine problem hai. Upar se putting so much effort to learn the language of his bahu instead of forcing her to learn Marathi/Hindi. Progressive uncle is progressive! Go uncle!!!! 👴👴👴

Ohh, hot guy makes entry! Bet this is their professor. 😏

On a closer look, he's really not (hot)😔

But I'm so looking fwd to him making Omkara jel. Fuckin yissss😊😊😊😊😊

Ugh, this guy is really nice you guys!! Gauri should run away with him. 🤣🤣🤣

Also, I was so right about English Vinglish teas. Harneet ne us movie ko bhi nahi choda 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Okay, I never watched IB, and I mostly skip Shivaay's scenes but why the fuck does he hold his phone like a retard? Idgi. 😕😕😕

Fwd

Fwd

Fwd

Fwd

Awww, man, I live for Omkara worrying about Gauri. He's so cute. 😭😭😭

Lol, he's hiding, pretending he's busy!! I can't, I can't. 😂😂😂😂

Gosh, this scene is so funny. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

"Matlab tumne mujhe dekha hi nahi"

Ab woh tumhe nahi kisi aur ko hi dekhegi Om. Shoulda hit that when ya had the chance boiii 😏😏😏😏

Lol, daadi pooch rahi thi. Like you don't care. Such a typical guy!! 😂

"Waise maine bhi..........nahi khaya tha"

Fuck wtf. He waited for her and usne suna bhi nahi, i can't. Poor Omkie. 😢😢😢 Now you know what Gauri's been feeling like all these months, eh 😼😼

Yaar, someone feed this boy. He didn't eat waiting for gauri, and i can't take his dejected face. 😖😖😖

Ffwding again, and Annika is crying but happy? I guess she read his letter? Thank god their confession is over. I hope they don't drag rikara's love confession(if it ever happens, that is). I want it to be something natural and in the moment. Like heart bursting so full of love they can't keep it inside, ya feel me?

Oh, no saahil ki custody naam ki hai. So sweet Shivaay. ♥️

Why am i lowkey interested in this? 🤔 Someday I'm gonna rewatch IB and hope i get invested in shivika. Honestly, it will probably be worth it. My poor heart can't take the stress Rikara give me daily. 😢😢😢

Aww, man shivika are so cute. My heart 😍😍😍😍

SvetVi nonsense. Wake me up when they team up against Tej again. Jhavi is at least tolerable when she's in team Svetlana, not against her.

Ffwding

Baki sab toh theek hai but kisi ne mere heere bete Om ko khana khilaya ya nahi? 😿😿😿

Hain, Bariely se parcel? Meaning Gauri's mom still remembers she's alive? Wow wow wow. 👏👏👏👏

Lo, aagayi Rikara ki cupid no 2.

"apne husbandS ko bhi bina bataye chali gayi"

Lmaoooo, I can't stop laughing at this. 😂😂😂😂 Koi pinky aunty ko bhi english classes me enroll kara do yaar. I can't. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

But i love how she tries to fuel their insecurities ek ek karke and it always fucking backfires. 🤣🤣🤣

Sigh, Omkareshwar stop being so naice to her! 😒😒😒

Fuck that horrible, no good flashback is back 😿😿😿😿😿

Idgi, gauri can pronounce words like "intelligent" with no problem, but she can't say "go" 🤔🤔🤔🤔

Lol barish ho gayi. Omkara pakka aag babula ho raha hoga waiting for gauri. Gosh, kitna forgranted leta hai ye banda gauri ko. Why does she need to be infront of him 24/7 hmmm. 🤔🙄🙄

This group scene is bakwas. But I've finally started finding OpenHairKara hot af. 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤Like now i don't want him to tie his hair at all. 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

Oh god, this teacher dude is such a bad actor.

"I'm allergic to eggs" and down he falls. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Gauri ki kismet me bas faint hone wale ladke hi likhe hain 😥😥😥😥😥

I should be worried for him but i can't take his bad acting lmao. It looks fucking hilarious. 😂😂😂😂

This angrez is a doctor. How convenient lmao.

Maybe Gauri should think about running away with this angrez doctor. I'm sure staying with nazuk omkara has given her ptsd for life. Maybe this angrez can help treat it. 😏😏😏

Aee le. Dadi ne ek aur naya function paida kar diya. Normal logo wale function kyu celebrate nahi karte yeh log? These Oberois be so extra i swear. 🙄🙄🙄

How are they celebrating this function without Gauri? Matlab Gauri koi ahemiyat bhi hai kuch ghar me ya nahin? 😑😑😑😑

Even Rudy's like, "not another silly game, ughhh" 😂😂😂

He's still traumatised by lovakshri!! Rofl 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Don't think I didn't notice Omkara calling Gauri in the background. 😏😏😏😏

Aaj kuch zyada hi miss kar raha hai. 😃😃😃

Lol, is it because it's a team game and Omkara's like, "hamari team sahi hai" 😁😁😁

Ahhhhh, my heart, Omkara missing Gauri, looking for Gauri, calling Gauri, all tadaping and shit is just making me want to give him a hug! What a qt puppy ♥️♥️♥️♥️

Ofc, pinky doesn't want to play this game. She only likes to play real life games which ruin people's lives 😒😒😒😒

Oh god pinky is so fuckin annoying. Like I legit want to punch the bitch. 😤😤😤😤

I want to ffwd this nonsense, but I don't want to miss Omkara pining for dear wife in the bg lol. 😍😍😍😍

Man, he's sitting all akela and my dil is feeling so bad for him. 😩😩😩

Lol, shakti, cactus kaha se layega ab 😂

Why is everyone in the family trying to force RuVya. Like do they even realise she was just there on duty? Is poore kamre me bas chubby k paas hi dimaag hai.

Fuck you rudy, stop being a dick to chubby, man! He's so nice, and you're being an ass. 😾😾😾

FINALLY GAURI, THANK GOD.♥️♥️♥️♥️ Tumhare bina meri bhi Omkara jaise halat ho rahi thi 😌😌😌

Lol, Svetlana's pushing tej on the bed like she's getting ready to fuck him 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Lukwarm sada nahi gunguna pani hota hai. But yay, SmartRi is back ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

Matlab sabse hawa ladki ko chest pump karne k liye bola. I know Gauri's powerful and all, but couldn't he have asked someone with a little more dum? Lol

"sorry guys, he's no more"

Hain, is this a test? Itni jaldi kaise mar gaya? Must be a test? But on second day? Oh fuck it. Main kyu sir khapa rahi hu 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Ffwding bhudhon ka ishq 🙄

"Boom, hahahahhaha"

Knew this was a stupidass test. Lameness ki hadd. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Agar main gauri hoti, I'd have punched the guy!

Or maybe not,

"tum intelligent ho gauri"

Aww, look at bby. That exhibition fiasco really hurt her self esteem. She's the same gauri who'd said just bc i don't know english doesn't mean I'm stupid and today she thought she wasn't intelligent. I'm just glad this guy actually helped her raise it, and made her believe in herself again unlike some other guy who barsaoed his gussa on her for no damn reason 😒😒😒

OMG WHAT A FEELS WALA PRECAP!!! CAN'T WAIT 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

[asgoodeasgold]

Can I please be shallow with you? Matthew's side profile is a work of art. And as for Finn, sigh.

so i was rewatching some episodes of the good wife and

i’m so in love with matthew and his side profile bye

this post is really shallow but i couldn’t help myself i had to express my never ending love for him

[pluviophile-bookworm]

AWAE 2x10 rewatch: thoughts and reactions

So this episode kicks off right where the last one ended - with Billy getting hurt after Cole has had too much to take. To be honest, this episode is already too much for me to take, too. Cole is heartbroken, I am heartbroken, pretty much everyone involved is. But then Anne speaks those wise words: ‘It’s not what the world holds for you. It’s what you bring to it. And you bring so much.’ I’m glad someone finally told Cole how much he means. He deserves all the good in this world. 

What is Rachel’s problem with Miss Stacy? So she’s a little unconventional. So what? We need people like her in the world. 

I see Bash is still with Mary, and he’s willing to let her ‘take advantage’ of him. And I guess it’s repairs season as everyone prepares for the spring. At least I think they’re preparing for the spring. I’m not quite certain of the seasons anymore with all the drama going on. But it was winter a couple of episodes ago, so I figure…

I seem to be empathising with everyone today. I’m just as broken over the story club having been destroyed as the girls are. It’s hard to get over the loss of something so important, something nearly sacred.  But I know they’ll get over it one day. 

I’m still quite depressed over this grey and black episode, but I can’t get over (in a sort of positive way, I guess) how Anne and Miss Stacy talk over each other in this scene and finish in unison with ‘If I could take it all back, I would.’ This scene is so well executed, I just love it so much. And then it’s all heartbreak and tears again as Miss Stacy tells Anne she’s on probation and will probably be let go.

I know Anne is supposed to, as Jerry said, be so happy about the fox trap being removed, but there’s been too much for her to handle and she just breaks down. I think I can’t possibly proceed with this review. This episode is too depressing. I’ll leave this post in my drafts and see how things go later on. Or maybe I should just let it go altogether, or I should just keep going until it’s over… but I can’t. So I’ll stop here for now. 

Alright, I’m back. It’s been a week and I think I’m ready to go on. I’m not quite sure, though, so it might just be another week before I can finish this. I’ve been putting it off long enough. 

Bash is still in the bog with Mary and things are getting serious. The way he looks at those children, I think he wants some of his own, With Mary. And he’ll have one. Too bad we couldn’t see her grow. #renewannewithane Is this battle lost?

Is Gilbert thinking of selling his house? I can’t even comment on that. But that substitute teacher... that I can talk about. Only Phillips is worse than that guy, and that’s because Phillips was a straight-up bully. But this man is absolutely the strictest, most boring teacher I’ve seen in this series. I didn’t even remember he was there at all. Of course, he’s only there for an episode and he’s got nothing memorable about him, so that must be why.

I think I mentioned it last time, or was it the time before, perhaps in my reaction to 2x8 - when Miss Stacy assigned Anne that essay on gossip, I thought it too bad that she couldn’t do the same with Rachel. And now Marilla agrees with me. Good thing she was there that day to see what a great teacher and person Miss Stacy really is. And now she’s really had it with Rachel. To be fair, Rachel deserves to be put in her place every once in a while. 

‘But we’re not heroes, Anne, we’re just girls!’ Oh, come on, Ruby, how can you say such a thing? Have you not been friends with Anne for a long enough time to know that... how did Diana put it now? ‘A hero is a person, and that person can be any person.’ Ever so eloquent. 

Moody wants to help the girls save Miss Stacy, but why am I sensing it’s just because he’s feeling guilty about dropping the light bulb? Either way, the light bulb gives Anne an idea, and thus Team Potato Light Bulbs is born. That’s what I like to call the four of them - and the rest of their classmates, once they join in. 

You know, Anne has taught Marilla a lot in this year that they’ve been a family. And now she has something to teach Miss Stacy too, even though Miss Stacy is supposed to be the teacher. Again, good thing Marilla was there to witness the class that day.

Cole has come to the Andrews’ house to apologise, even though Billy totally deserved what came upon him. And he confirms that last part by calling Cole ‘freak’ once again. But Cole is a man of honour and grace and he goes through with the apology and walks out of there as the bigger man.

Gosh, Bash is thinking about proposing, and I can’t even with how awkward he is. He’s fallen hard - but I already knew that. And then he sees Mary with a strange man (who is actually her son) and totally misinterprets things. Does this episode have to be so depressing? I hope the better part of it comes soon enough, or else I might not be in the right condition to finish this today. 

Alright, things seem to be taking a turn for the better... everyone is hurrying somewhere, and the town hall meeting will decide it all. I’m nervous and excited and that’s when I know what’s going to happen. Imagine how I felt when I first saw this episode? Well, you probably felt it too, so you don’t need to imagine anything. But doesn’t this part of the episode provide such scope for the imagination? Even the second time around.

That’s it. They’re on the train, and Gilbert has seen them, and he cannot believe his eyes, and now he’s joining them , for his own reasons, but still. And then there’s that iconic moment with Cole where he tells Anne ‘You know Gilbert has a crush on you, right?’ and she’s like ‘No, he doesn’t!’ and he so does... and Cole’s not being ridiculous, he’s being insightful. Or rather, he seems to be the only person around there who’s not totally blind.

Gosh, an actual power walk. I love this. This episode is finally getting better and I’m all in for it. 

Is that what Mary thinks of Bash? That he’d leave her if he knew she’d had a child out of wedlock? Who’s thinking less of whom now? Bash would never.

Of all the ways to propose Bash had thought of, this must have been the one he’d never even considered. And yet the question is out. And is that kiss enough of an answer?

When Gilbert asks Bash to sign the deed to the farm as his partner and his family, I am reminded of when Anne signed the Cuthbert family bible. This is an official document uniting them as family - making their bond as official as can be. And once Mary becomes Bash’s wife, she will be part of that too. And that will happen soon enough. This episode sure is taking the long-awaited turn for the better.

Aunt Josephine, always to the rescue. And she’ll help save more than Miss Stacy today. I feel like this episode is all about family - lost family, found family. Mostly the latter.

And Diana apologises for her narrow thinking. She’s changed. I knew it was inside her all this time. It’s just how she was raised that stopped her from releasing her full potential. This girl deserves the world and will get it. I have just one issue with her, but it belongs in season 3, not here. Not yet.

Sure, the kids are ready to speak for Miss Stacy, but she’s come to speak for herself. This is amazing. Potato light bulbs forever! AWAE teaches the important lessons. Too bad it had to end. 

Is that what I think it is? Is Rachel coming to apologise? Apparently everyone can change for the better. Well, not quite everyone (looking at you, Billy), but the world isn’t a perfect place. And yet even Billy left the fox alone after all. 

The wedding... I always cry at weddings. 

‘I wanna be with my family’ - yes, because he has one again. How beautiful.

‘Tragical romance and all...’ That one speaks for itself. 

Let’s sum up: things are so tragical that they make me stop watching before I’d hit the nine-minute mark; Bash and Mary’s relationship grows quickly; Marilla and Rachel have their greatest falling out over Miss Stacy, just to prove the impact she’s had on everyone and everything; girls can be heroes, and so can be clumsy, awkward boys; Cole is a bigger man than Billy - but then again, when has he not been?; Bash meets Elijah - the wrong way; Team Potato Light Bulbs play stowaways; Cole is insightful - if insightful means ‘not blind’, that is; a proposal goes not quite as planned; a new found family is made official; Aunt Jo to the rescue; Diana is more open-minded; potato light bulbs forever; everyone can change; a cry-worthy wedding adds a new member to Gilbert and Bash’s found family; ‘Remains to be seen’.

[pluviophile-bookworm]

AWAE 1x4 rewatch: thoughts and reactions

By popular demand of no more and no less than 14 people (which is quite enough to convince me), I’m back with another AWAE rewatch - reaction. Today, we’re diving into 1x4, which I don’t really remember anymore so it should be interesting to return to it after all this time. Without further ado, let’s get started:

First of all, I will never stop wondering ( especially now that I’ve seen season 3) why the first season was so dull and grey in terms of lighting. I mean, it’s almost black and white. I think I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again anyway - it was probably because the first two seasons were filmed in winter and the third one in summer, but still - there’s editing to fix that, and some editing was probably done, so it must be a creative choice. It makes some sense considering how bad Anne’s past was and how unhappy the last few days have been, at least from her point of view, but I still find it rather depressing. 

Anne’s little song is so cute, and I love her singing - it’s simple and clear and it sounds just like the child Anne’s supposed to be, but it’s also kind of a reflection of what’s going through her mind - she’s still holding on to her imaginary self, Cordelia, but is now accepting herself for what she thinks she is - “strange and plain”. Well, she sure is strange, but there’s nothing wrong with that - it’s beautiful, and she’s certainly anything but plain. 

Anne means well, but we all know she’s easily distracted, so I wouldn’t make a promise I couldn’t guarantee if I were her. 

For once, Rachel is not really annoying me and she actually has good advice. The best part is, this is straight from the book, and I love me some accuracy to source material. Of course, it won’t be long before Anne’s back in school, and (almost) everything will have changed when she goes back. 

“How awful it would be to be in service of those who neglect you or treat you unkindly”... oh gosh, Anne’s dark past is creeping into her fantasies. I don’t like this, I don’t like it at all. She does need school to distract her from her trauma. 

The one time Rachel had good advice for Marilla, she isn’t going to follow it. Why do things have to be like this? This episode is depressing. I want Anne out of the house and back in school now. I don’t know why, but I do. It’s like I’m putting myself in her shoes, and, sure, what happened back at school was humiliating enough for her not to want to ever go back, but walking around a little room, stuck within its four walls, gets really depressing after some time, no matter how enjoyable it might be at first. 

Yes, Matthew is a kindred spirit, and yes, he knows better than to force Anne to go back to school before she’s ready, but I bet my life he’d never want her to miss out on her education when she has so much potential and has the chance to fulfil it. Especially because he didn’t have the chance to finish his own education and he obviously regrets it. 

Anne’s trauma as shown in this episode is too much for me. It should come with a trigger warning. But there is no trigger warning for Anne, and there is no escape. Not when she’s stuck at home, wallowing in her humiliation. She has to get out of there, and her imagination is just not enough anymore because it keeps going back to the worst moments of her life, and those are really bad. 

I honestly love Matthew so much. He is the first true kindred spirit. He understands. He understands the most important thing - Anne is not like the others. She needs to do things at her own pace. And right now she’s just not ready to face school again. But she does need company, otherwise she’ll drive herself crazy miserable, like she’s already started to in the scene where she calls out to her imaginary friend Katie Morris. And no, I don’t think Matthew is being too soft with her - I do think, however, that Marilla is being too hard on her. But she’ll get better. We know she does. 

As heartbreaking as it was to learn (in a later scene which I remembered just now from my first watch) that Anne hasn’t really been going back to school, I have to give it to her - she does a pretty good job of pretending she went and that she’s going there again. 

And there it goes - first, dear little Jerry realises Anne is staying late “at school”, and then who should come by but Diana and Ruby (who is still not on the friendliest terms with Anne, but she’ll come around as soon as Anne decides to try interacting with her again). I mean, Anne must really have thought that even Diana wouldn’t care about her at all, or else it would have been really foolish to believe she wouldn’t ask after her when she didn’t come back to school for so long. Having a caring new friend spoiled Anne’s pretty little plan, didn’t it? How ironic. But it just wasn’t healthy for Anne to isolate herself so completely. And this is coming from me, an introvert who would really have liked to homeschool herself and never see another person outside of family members again after a number of humiliating moments at school. I’m old enough now to realise how detrimental total isolation can be. But Anne is not yet and she’ll have to go through a couple more traumatising moments before she finds joy in school again. 

Jerry fixing up his hat and jacket before greeting Diana and Ruby and then being all confident/ sassy/ might I say even slightly flirty with his simple “Hello, ladies”... the sight of it gives me life. The shipper in me would say this is the first tiny glimpse of Derry, but the protective older sister instinct in me, who has witnessed and will never forget the events of 3x8, can only see this as a glimpse of what Jerry has always really been like until Diana’s unjust treatment broke him. He was happy. He was confident. He never thought it was above him to speak to Diana before. He never thought of himself as unworthy of respect and love. What Diana did to him, even if she didn’t mean it, broke him and we’ll never get to see him fully recovered because of some stupid people who decided to cut the series short whenever they felt like it. It’s just unfair. If not to us viewers, then at the very least to Jerry. And that should be enough. #renewawae

“Anne’s too sensitive for this world” - Well, that certainly is true, but maybe it’s actually the other way around. Maybe the world is too insensitive to her. Honestly, why? 

Marilla has the face of a parent who has just found out  their child has been doing something behind their back... honestly, that face is so scary when you’re the kid, I don’t even want to think about it. Now Anne will definitely be going back to school, whether she likes it or not. 

Anne talking about Native names reminds me of her conversations with Ka’kwet in season 3. Yes, she might not be a Cordelia or anything fancy, but just plain Anne, but thanks to who she is, the name Anne now sounds so much more colourful and magical to me. It is not the name what makes you who you are, it is who you are that gives your name its meaning. I firmly believe in that, and I wish Anne would, too. I know she’ll realise that in due time, but it just pains me to watch her speak ill of herself because of what she’s been hearing so many awful people say throughout her life. 

Melkita’ulamun. A strong and brave heart. This is what your Native name would be, Anne dearest,  at least if Ka’kwet was an elder and had a say in it. And I fully agree with her. 

The minister’s visit, and his words that are less than respectful to women, just have to be enough to lead her back to school. So, you can say that, in a way, he did his job well even if he’s not the most admirable kind of person. 

And if the minister’s misogynist take on the Bible wasn’t enough to convince Anne that her place really is in school, then Jerry is sure to finish the job.  “Boys can do anything they want”, is that what you think, Anne? Well, this boy would much rather go to school than work his butt off to provide for his family, but he’s anything but “lucky” that way. I understand Anne is traumatised by her past, but the last few days that she’s spent outside of school she’s been thinking of nobody but herself, as much as it pains me to say it. She has a lot to learn, and not just from books. Has she never thought about why she could never get a proper education and had to work instead? Jerry’s situation is no better. Well, arguably, he’s a lot better off mentally and psychologically, but Anne is only a couple years behind her peers. Jerry never even had the chance to learn the alphabet. He’s forced to be illiterate in both languages he speaks, and that is so tragic, honestly. But it is about to  change, as soon as Anne realises how lucky she is and starts extending her fortune to him as her found little brother. 

“I never thought that a wife is what I would be” But you will be, Anne, and not only a wife, but also one that is her husband’s intellectual equal and also “the fond object of [his] affection and desire”. But you can never be that unless you go right back to school and get a proper education, not an education in propriety. Because you can. Jerry was spot on in saying that. 

Oh, great. Now Marilla has an identity crisis - an identity crisis at her age! I didn’t even know that was possible. But the minister’s words seem to have made a stronger impression on her than they have on Anne. I hope at least the conversation with Jerry, which is by far my favourite moment from this rather depressing episode, sweeps her in the right direction. 

My, is that the fire at Ruby’s house? Now that will definitely shake things up. I had forgotten this episode is the mid-season mark, and the fire happens, of course, around the middle of it. It’s like a new beginning.  A phoenix that will rise from the ashes of the Gillis house, changing everyone’s perception of Anne for the better, giving her her second best friend, changing Miss Gillis into the Ruby I know and love with all my heart, getting Anne to go back to school after Marilla, the minister, and Jerry didn’t quite succeed. This is a disaster, but one that was, in the grand scheme of things, for the better. 

Gosh, Anne, you’re going to give poor Diana a stroke. But you look like you know what you’re doing, and that’s important. 

For about a minute, the most intense minute in the lives of everybody present, everybody is worried about Anne to the point of insanity, but then she emerges from the burning house and tells everybody she’s ok - and as soon as she explains why she ran inside an empty burning house, Jerry makes sure everyone knows what Anne did and that she is a hero. 

Diana, for one, thinks Anne is marvellous and brave - and I agree with her. Ruby will learn soon enough. She might not have the best attitude right now, but she will learn. She will get better. 

Look at Ruby, crying like a baby about a dress, when Anne only has two of her own and is ready to lend one to a girl who doesn’t even want anything to do with her. Within a single episode, Anne has gone from the selfish one who needs to be taught a lesson in how lucky she is to have what she has, to the one who will teach the selfish one that same lesson. And I know Ruby will learn it soon, too. 

“I shall never be dissuaded from my low opinion of him”. Well, a lot of opinions changed after that night. This is one of them, only it will take a little longer than most other things. 

Very funny, Billy! Ruby has fallen on her face and all he can do is laugh at her dismay, even though she’s bringing him biscuits. And then we get several layers in this scene. We have Ruby, the damsel in distress, the traditional girly girl; Billy, the misogynistic, “boys are superior, girls belong in the kitchen” type of guy, perpetuating toxic masculinity; Anne, the feminist who could get the job done as well as any boy and better than some; and Gilbert, the gentleman, the embodiment of healthy masculinity. I can see why Ruby is in love with him. Who wouldn’t be? Oh, right, Anne. She’s going out of her way not to meet his eye while he’s doing his best to discreetly look at her without offending Ruby. I see the Shirbert tension is strong from the first episodes on.

“If you were a boy, it would have ended up in fisticuffs.” Oh, it will, soon enough. Billy can’t get away with his behaviour forever. There are, and always will be, enough boys who agree with Anne (not that she needs boys to fight her battles for her), and one day, one of them will snap. I can’t wait to get to that moment. I mean, I am very much an advocate for non-violence, but Billy Andrews deserves some righteous violence directed at him every once in a while. 

Oh, this is it! The founding of the Story Club! The beginning of something so beautiful, it’s almost like magic. What am I saying, “almost like”? It is magic. Too bad it, too, will meet its end, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

Oh, I see the minister’s words - possibly combined with Billy’s “stay in the kitchen” remarks - have finally reached Anne in the right way. She’s going back to school and the other kids are more than happy to see her. Well, most of them, anyway. I think she was right, though, and if she had gone back the day she was supposed to, she wouldn’t have been received quite so warmly. But what does it matter now? Things are looking up. 

To sum up what we saw in this episode: a miserable Anne staying home from school; Anne’s PTSD acting up when she has no education to take her mind off of her horrible past; Matthew is a true kindred spirit #InMatthewWeTrust; Anne homeschools herself away from home, the way education was done in ancient times - surrounded by nature; Jerry’s first on-screen interaction with Diana (and Ruby); some thoughts on Native North American names; a misogynist minister; the tragedy of Jerry having no chance of a proper education; a fire in the Gillis house; a literal fire-forged friendship; the alignment chart of misogynist vs. feminist; the founding of the Story Club; Anne goes back to school to a warm welcome.