#i was really nervous about this chapter since its so out of my comfort zone | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

acacia-may · 8 months ago

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Hi Acacia! 14 and 24 for the writing game pls

Hello hello, friend! I'm always so excited to see you in my inbox, and I hope you are doing wonderfully! 😊

Thank you so much for your ask and for playing the writing excerpt ask game. I'd be happy to answer these for you and will be sure to choose excerpts from my OMORI stories since it's our shared fandom (and I'm really going to try very hard to get creative and not choose any Kelbrey excerpts for you too though there are several that fit both of these categories)! ^^

Everything is under the cut because of MAJOR OMORI spoilers! One snippet has its own set of additional warnings so please be mindful of that as well.

14. An excerpt of my writing that was out of my comfort zone

Do you mean any time I try to write romance ever? Because goodness that makes me so nervous and stressed out! I've been trying to practice a little by writing about ships I feel very passionately about and/or really, really like, but even then, it's a major struggle for me and I feel like it ends up leaning very ambiguous (i.e. it could be romantic or it could be platonic. The readers can choose their own adventure!) or blending into a background of several other plotlines going on. Sitting down to write a purely romance story is just not my thing, and I honestly don't think it's my strong suit. Therefore, for the sake of honesty, I feel compelled to give a major shoutout to "There Is Happiness" (which is about functional post-bad ending Kelbrey, sorry) because it was an entire story outside of my comfort zone but especially the dancing sequence. I still can't believe I wrote that (which I guess fits your other question too lol), but I won't subject you to an excerpt of that, friend! Instead here's some swoony HeroMari from my college, everyone lives AU one shot "Some Things Are Meant To Be":

Mari sighed. The truth was she was glad she had to stop at this point on the tour because she likely would have stopped anyway—too stunned by the swooning, swooping sensation in the pit of her stomach whenever a particular culinary arts student smiled. She had never spoken to him before—had never had the opportunity to properly introduce herself, but she supposed that might be for the best. She couldn’t help but wonder if she’d even be able to muddle her way through a coherent introduction if they did have the chance to meet. After all, on the few occasions he had met her eyes through the glass, staring at her with such gentleness that she could have sworn her heart had skipped a beat, her mind had completely emptied and she couldn’t even think of the tour script her roommate often, somewhat playfully, accused her of reciting in her sleep. Knowing herself, she’d probably forget her own name if he so much as said “hello” to her, so they’d both likely graduate before they got to share anything more than a few somewhat shy waves at each other whenever she passed by his class on her tours. Halfway through her little speech about the state of the art kitchen equipment they had available to students, Mari reached the line she both adored and dreaded which prompted the tour group to look through the window to see the future chefs of the world cooking and baking. When Mari turned to glance into the classroom herself, she somehow always managed to find him immediately in the crowd. Today was no different. Just as he was taking what appeared to be a souffle out of the oven, he happened to turn at the exact moment she did. Their eyes met. Time stopped. Mari’s heart raced. He smiled, and her heart ached. All of her thoughts disappeared, except one: Oh… He was beautiful. That was not in her tour script.

And also, just for you, I'll include this excerpt of Hero admitting he's ready to find love again a decade after the good-ending from the final chapter of "But I Always Thought That I'd See You Again" (which is Aubrey and Hero's platonic friendship centric even though it also includes some background Kelbrey). I'm including it because it was another story out of my comfort zone, especially this particular scene (and I did a ton of research for it) and because I purposely wrote the story in such a way that the identity of Hero's love interest could be anybody you wanted who fit the ambiguous descriptors (I'm really sharing because I hope it'll resolve that "I need Hero and Zoey to realize their feelings" sentiment you mentioned in your comment on "Under the Weather" or maybe just add more Hero/Brandi to the world. It's written in such a way he could be talking about either of them or neither...choose your own adventure!)

“I think you’re a much stronger person than me, Hero. If someone deserves to be broken up about it, it’s you, and you should take as much time as you need. No one would blame you if you just…never moved on.” Hero took a long, shaky breath then pressed his lips together. “That’s…that’s the thing, Aubrey. I…” His voice was so quiet she could barely hear him. He stared intently at his hands—twisting them together, refusing to look at her. It was almost like he couldn’t. “I had actually been thinking…”—he swallowed hard—“That is I…I actually wondered if maybe…I might be…ready…to...um...” Aubrey tried her best to stifle a gasp. Of all the things she could’ve expected…she would have never even entertained this as a possibility. Hero had never expressed any interest in pursuing a relationship with anyone after Mari. They all respected it and never pried, just quietly resigned themselves to the fact that Hero might never love again, so to hear that he was actually, seriously considering moving on... She just couldn’t hold back the smile that tugged at her mouth as her eyes started to grow misty. “Really?�� Hero blushed, and Aubrey’s breath caught in her throat. The expression on his face was so flustered but so warm, so affectionate—she never thought she’d ever see him make that face again. “Yeah…uh…I was actually…kind of thinking that I might ask someone out.” Aubrey’s jaw fell slack. Here she had been worried that Hero was listening to sad music and still pining after Mari when actually he was thinking about moving on. A flabbergasted but excited chuckle escaped her lips, and she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him—center console be damned. “Hero, that’s wonderful! I…you have no idea how excited everyone is going to be to hear that, especially Kel.” “Just…Just for coffee…” he stumbled quickly, awkwardly patting her on the back. “Nothing too big or dramatic or anything…” “This is big, Hero,” said Aubrey pulling away from him with a wide, bright smile. “You…you’ve met someone…” It wasn’t really a question. His blush deepened. “I think it’s more like I finally saw someone who had been there for a long time.” “So it’s someone you know well?” Aubrey repeated wracking her brain trying to think of Hero’s closest friends and who this could possibly be. She supposed it was really none of her business, but she was curious. Hero nodded and hummed. “For a long time. We became close friends in college and we’re in this wedding together now so we’ve been seeing a lot of each other and…I guess I’ve just been thinking…realizing that…when I’m with her, I—I don’t know, Aubrey—I…feel things that I didn’t know I could feel anymore…” His voice trailed—quiet, distant as if he had forgotten himself, but his cheeks flushed a bright red. Aubrey’s eyes widened, but she could only blink at him in shock. Was Hero…? Was he really… in love? The question felt somewhat silly and juvenile, especially seeing as he had never even been on a date with this woman, but…Aubrey couldn’t help but wonder. There was something so incredibly gentle and sincere in his face—something so warm and wistful, almost pining in his dark eyes as he sighed with a certain love-struck helplessness that Aubrey honestly didn’t think she would ever see from him again. “Honestly,” he shyly admitted. “I…I think I’ve felt this way for a long time but…I just…wasn’t ready to see it.”

24. An excerpt of my writing that makes me go "huh...i wrote that?!"

In a good way or a bad way? 😅😂 If it's in a really good "I can't believe that I was capable of writing this" kind of way, then I think pretty much all of 2AM would fit in that category. I wrote that fic for a request, and it recounts how Hero, Kel, and Aubrey discovered and reacted to the aftermath of Sunny and Basil's fight on the night of One Day Left. It's another story that was completely out of my comfort zone because it was so heavy and dark (definitely not one I would have ever thought to write on my own), but I'm very proud of it so here's a snippet.

(Warnings for Injuries (Non-graphically depicted), Blood, Aftermath of Canon-Typical Violence (Non-graphically depicted). Fear. Emotional Hurt. Heavy and Dark Themes and Subject Matter. Heavy ANGST. MAJOR SPOILERS FOR OMORI)

“Hero, help Sunny!” He managed to catch Polly’s instructions amidst the chaos and dropped to his knees beside Sunny’s crumpled figure. With trembling fingers, he grabbed Sunny’s wrist—limp and clammy—desperately searching for a pulse. His chest ached as he found one—weak but still beating. Hero swallowed hard—watching the blood seep between his fingers as they held Sunny’s wrist. He searched for injuries. Where had Sunny been cut? His hands and arms seemed clear of wounds, so he must have used to them to try to stop the bleeding wherever he had been… Hero stopped abruptly. He finally saw it. That gash across Sunny’s right eye. Frantically, he wracked his brain for his emergency first aid training. It was empty—useless in an actual crisis. His instructor’s words were garbled in his memories, almost as if she had been speaking underwater. Triage. Assess. Predict. Respond. And… Hero’s head whirled. He couldn’t remember and was too distracted by the sound of something clattering to the floor. Basil had finally dropped the weapon in his hands. He fell to his knees—caught by Polly and Kel. A pair of bloodied pruning sheers skid along the floor leaving streaks of red on the wood grain. Basil screamed again, but Hero’s vision blurred—blinded by the sudden burst of overhead light as Aubrey returned and flipped the switch. but she stopped, frozen in the doorway as she caught sight of Sunny on the ground. Hero blinked rapidly, but as his vision came into focus, bile burned the back of his throat. That slash across Sunny’s eye—deep and bloody in the light. Hero’s head ached. Jumbled memories playing in rapid succession. A diagram in an Anatomy and Physiology textbook. His professor holding up a model of the eye. The distant, garbled words: corneal laceration… Most serious of all eye injuries… High Risk…Permanent loss of vision… Hero’s stomach churned. As a streak of red trickled across Sunny’s cheek, he leaned forward with trembling hands, frantically searching for something to use as a compress to stop the bleeding. But he stopped himself. Hearing the warning as clear as day: Never, ever put pressure on a cut to the eye.

If it's in a "Why the hell did I write this?" kind of way literally anything from Safety Net (No, I'm not linking it. I didn't even put it on Tumblr because I have nothing to say for myself...) If it's more in a "I can't believe I wrote this, but I think it's okay(?)" kind of way, there is this incredibly mushy excerpt from my HeroMari fic "More Than Words":

Mari was his best friend, but even that title wasn’t enough for everything she meant to him. She was someone he could always rely on—someone he could talk to for hours until he completely lost track of the time. Someone he could share anything with—who he wanted to share everything with. She knew him better than anyone else—knew he wasn’t as perfect as everyone seemed to think and knew how hard he tried to be, but she still believed in him—saw something in him that he couldn’t even see in himself. She was the kindest person he had ever known and so beautiful that his soul ached whenever he looked at her. He cared for her more than he had the words in his young and inexperienced fifteen-year-old mind to express or really to even fully understand. All he knew was that he had never been happier than when she smiled at him—so bright and warm that he would have sworn the sun shined brighter. He couldn’t imagine a world without her in it, and he would give her the world in an instant if he could—would give anything to make her happy, to protect her, to care for her, and to in some small way repay her for being part of his life. But all she ever asked for was his friendship which he readily offered with as much loyalty and devotion as he could manage. Somehow even after all this time, she had never asked for his heart. Hero sometimes wondered if it was because they were still so young and she knew she had all the time in the world to ask for it. Perhaps she was waiting for the day he would be older and wouldn’t get so sheepish or tongue-tied whenever he tried to express his feelings. If Hero was being honest, he was looking forward to that day too…but he supposed it was more likely that Mari had never asked him for his heart because she knew she didn’t need to ask. It had always belonged to her. He knew Mari knew that. She had to know that. What he couldn’t say in words he practically screamed with offers to help with her chores or errands, with late night study sessions for the exams she stressed over or with hours spent cooking her favorite foods for her and carefully packing them into a basket for a picnic that, Hero was sorry to say, had just gotten rained out.

That was a lot of ramblings... Sorry about that. Thanks again for the ask. I hope you'll enjoy these snippets! Cheers! 💕

#there's a lot of heroxmari ones in here! 💙💜#which I don't think ever made it to my main blog actually 😅#omori fic snippets #writing excerpts ask game #thank you for the ask and for playing #omori spoilers

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greatandquestionablecontent · 2 years ago

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(Ramblings about the struggles of writing smut. Nothing explicit and i dont feel like its really nsfm? but definitely skip if you dont want to read about that.)

Tfw youve written your OCs doing a specific thing like a hundred times and imagined it like a bajillion times… and then you need to write it happening for The First Time from ONE pov for the Official Draft and ur like 🧍‍♂️🤔🤔🤔🥸

I told my friend about my struggles trying to make this scene be

-realistic and in character

-from gavins pov. And all that entails. Which means he’s gonna overthink and its not gonna be fireworks and singing angels.

-clear hes having a good time and is Into It but In His Own Way

-NOT horrifically unsexy.

and my friend was like lmao this is why i stick to writing hypersexual sluts because i know how to write that.

Im like yes and i know if i wrote this from trystans pov it would be so much easier because he’s got much less complicated feelings to sort thru (his feelings are Damn Gavins Hot And Im Thriving Lets Do This More) but i cant have their first THREE smutty scenes in a row be from only trystans pov! Gavins gotta get one in there!! Otherwise it’s weird because there are so many alternating chapters!

I love the idea of sex scenes from gavins pov getting hotter and flowing smoother as time goes on and he finds his comfort zone and gets more and more into trystan and they figure out what they like.

I also dont want him coming off as Nervous Softe Boi Virgin Uwu. Even though he does have less experience and more anxiety and is ace spectrum. He can not be woobified!!!

So maybe i just have to accept that scene number 2 might just be a bit awkward? and hopefully my readers will have patience since they waited 80k words for the Eventual Smut tag to come true

Its such a weird balance to find.

#meta and rambles #conviction #gavin #ive written and thought thru so much gavystan smut!!!#i think im overthinking it maybe lmaooo #god damn it gavin

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rigelmejo · 2 years ago

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Notes today o3o)/

1. Chinese

I am 5/12 chapters through 第十二封情书 and I also recommend this as an easy-ish read, especially if you want to pick up some school related words. School related words are a weak spot for me lol because I never needed to learn 班长 is class monitor. The writing is fairly straightforward if you wanted to guess word meanings they're fairly clear from context.

Where this fic shines is its words about feelings/ideas/reasons since it's half in rhe form of introspective "love letters" Zhang zhijun never plans to send, so it's him writing how he feels and wondering if he's nervous or worried to tell his feelings, if he wants to stop the feelings and move on, if people you like become perfect in your eyes, etc. All really good conceptual words on thoughts and emotions which would help one figure out how to word their own feelings in a conversation, in a journal, or if you plan in the future to read stuff where the narrator does get self reflective.

I checked out the 200+k story 你喜不喜欢你, and although Heavenly Path ranks it as Upper Intermediate, Readibu is giving me an hsk 4 comprehension 83% and hsk 5 comprehension 93% for it, which appears to be comfortably in my Extensive Reading zone. So i may read some of that next... though 撒野 is equivalent in difficulty because of Length reasons at that point, and similarly easy language for me. 你喜不喜欢你 supposedly has ghosts though... and I love me a modern supernatural story. See: my favorite pingxie fics ToT 寒舍 and 半夜寒衣. Which, I would read those 2 pingxie fics next but. Readibu stats put them as harder (hsk 4 comprehension 77%). So while I've read them before and know a lot of THEIR specific words, on the other hand I'm reading "easier" stuff right now just to get a lot of reading in. More reading practice = more improvement, so I'm not exactly dying to slow down my progress lol.

On the other hand though? Reading stuff with more unknown words/stuff does increase opportunities to learn things I have a weak spot in. For example I'm reading this school focused thing, which is definitely filling in my high school/college vocabulary gaps. Reading a business setting with economics discussed would fill in gaps I definitely have, etc. Like... I will ultimately NEED to read stuff I'm unfamiliar with, to become familiar with it. So it's not a bad idea to push myself into Unknown vocabulary territory every so often.

Yes, I'm still trying to find out if that 9000 pages in your target language makes u able to read better ToT. One day ill get to prove that claim true or false. One day ToT

I am still reading dmbj 1. But it's slower going cause those chapters take me 20-30 minutes a piece. And of course... once I finish I've got a LOT more fucking dmbj novels ToT. Which... I might do 云村笔记 next, since it's got useful words and it's mostly a slice of life novel so I don't need to keep reading another 30 chapters of our dudes scared in a tomb! (I tell you what though: if you want to get comfortable with tomb genre words read dmbj... I feel like after this first novel, the majority of new unknown words will be sand/water setting related or names, because the vast majority of other words in dmbj are scary/reaction/tomb/old stuff antique/bugs/tomb gear which the first book is covering and getting one familiar with).

2. Japanese

I started Yakuza Like a Dragon yesterday, with Ichibian!

And like every single fucking time I start a Japanese game, my brain goes into overdrive to remind me of what's familiar but I fucking forgot ToT, what I don't know yet and desperately try to guess, what I remember but needs to Snap Back into place again, and how much I just wanna Get Better At Japanese so the task of me enjoying comparing the japanese to the English translation gets easier. (Don't ask why I enjoy so Much comparing japanese original with translations, but wow do i, I'm absolutely overwhelmed with doing it automatically and loving it a lot whenever I stumble into japanese again ToT).

The thing is. Every time I remember jjapanese, the Chinese word for things usually zooms right out of my active vocabulary and gets replaced with the japanese. This spring I played through several yakuza games and my japanese recognition and new learned stuff increased (I got to the point I kept forgetting how to converse in chinese and the japanese sentences were all that were fucking coming to me... 时间shijian was GONE and replaced with 時間 jikan ToT and nanren was replaced with otoko it was a mess, I truly couldn't remember something as basic as nanren ToT). But it just shoved my active chinese vocabulary right outta my brain - which to be fair, I was doing no chinese studying in the spring to KEEP it active.

Meanwhile, this past week I read 5 chinese stories and I'm going on 2 more. So my chinese active vocabulary I forgot this spring came right back, and now I can remember how to chat in chinese (which is good for particular personal life reasons at the moment) but that also means I blanked out on all my old japanese active vocab. Nanren replaced otoko, haizi replaced Kodomo, jiehun replaced whatever the fuck wedding was in japanese but I forgot. (I do notice my mental active vocab seems to replace the hanzi/Kanji cognates the worst, I think cause my brain just hates multiple pronunciations for a given character so it doesn't like conceptualizing multiple... which is part of why hanzi clicked so easy for me with their usually only 1-2 pronunciations, versus Kanji which I STILl fucking struggle to pronounce with their usual several pronunciations). So yeah, my chinese is great again rn... but just playing a game with japanese audio, my brain goes into overdrive trying to remember again lol.

I find it so funny. I find it so funny things can be so easy yet so hard. That u can learn more and be eons past where you used to be in progress, and then realize how much you still don't understand and must learn. Then you learn more, get aware of New things you never realized you didn't know, and the process repeats. In japanese I was OVER THE MOON last year when I realized I could read manga finally, without a dictionary! Then I was over the moon this spring, listening to Final Fantasys X audio and just able to actually PLACE each scene I heard, follow some of the dialogue meaning. Now it's fall, I've "progressed" and I pick up Guardians japanese translated novel... I slog through the intro character page, and realize just how brutally few Kanji words I know how to pronounce, how much I'm leaning on chinese hanzi knowledge to "guess" what I'm reading. I start playing some yakuza, and realize how HYPE I was in spring to understand "I'm going to get Oden, yeah he'll kill you, ikuzou etc" when now I hear a solid 4 words I don't know and get So antsy i can't grasp that part lol! That I realize now I can follow that daily life stuff so it doesn't blow my mind to understand anymore, it's not progress that blows my mind anymore to just manage to reach (though it used to), now I've moved on and my brain insists its Frustrating to not grasp new particular details.

It's just. So funny how it's both SO motivating to be on the beginning part when you feel you made a breakthrough and comprehend more! Then it's almost demotivating to realize the new things you Still Don't grasp and desperately want to (even though objectively it's a good thing - you're making more progress if this is happening). Funny what the brain gets happy versus frustrated over.

Which is happening with me for chinese too right now. At lightning speed! At the beginning of this month my brain was DELIGHTED I could read a novel in 2 days and know almost every word! OVER THE MOON I could grasp so much, when I've read stories fully before and Never Comprehended them with such detail as this week. And now, toward the end of this week? My brain is acting frustrated if I try to read and skip or guess an unknown word! Just 1-2 unknown words feel frustrating! When I know good and well I've seen 10-20+ unknown words a chapter in rhe past, ans EASILY read, grasped main idea, and enjoyed. I know that literally earlier this week, I read a story extensively and didn't know maybe 2-5 words a chapter, and it didn't bother me at all! But now it's the end of the week, and my brains going "Oh this feels so hard to read! It has a handful of vague words (that I could definitely guess if I put the effort into and aren't hard to quickly look up)". It makes me wanna force myself to slog through something MUCH harder, if only to remind myself it's not actually a big deal that should make me STUMBLE AND STOP if I don't remember 情致 and 感情s difference absolutely perfectly in a sentence. Or if i dont remember specifically how touch 触碰 and 触摸 differ. Lol its not a big enough deal to actually impede understanding of main idea, and yet now that it's the end of the week these "vague confusions" and driving me up a wall! Lol if I went and read 默读 or 杀破浪 without a dictionary I would quickly realize how much it doesnt fucking matter if I know the specific nuance, and I'd just be grateful to see words I recognize to help me guess all the words I DONT.

Anyway it's. Funny and ridiculous to see the process. How a brain doing something Super Hard acts like it's amazing to successfully understand, but a brain doing something reasonably easy is like "oh but I'm not doing it perfectly so I wanr to give up!"

I also watched 2008 ep 1 of Legend of the Condor Heroes last night in chinese only and uh. Nothing like some huge dialogue chunks of wuxia 4 hanzi wordings to remind me I don't know shit, I can follow a much more confusing story line to me than I think I can ToT. I followed it fine, though yeah it was a bit of a struggle. It reminded me I followed Word of Honor in chinese, and to be so Grateful word of honor was actually mostly fairly modern straightforward dialogue except for a few things Wen Kexing, Prince Jin, and the big sect leader said. Versus Legend of the Condor Heroes 2008 where the first maybe 20 minutes is all several fighters saying lots of 4 hanzi line phrases with just a little relief of action and direct sentences like Tie and Guo fighting and dying. Then finally it flashes 16 years forward and I was so relieved it was regular spoken kinds of everyday stuff again like shoot the black bird/save the white bird/my daughter X/etc is coming.

Anyway back to japanese! I yet again wanna go thru my japanese old audio glossika files. So I can know more of the fucking words I'm hearing in yakuza. Though, knowing me, the words I'm gonna pick up wouldn't even be in glossika. Like I doubt kill is in that course ToT, but I sure had to learn it to follow a lot of yakuza lines.

#rant #progress

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auburnaudry · 3 years ago

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Fractured Family - Matthew Tkachuk

Chapter 5:

A/N: So this took me a while to write because changing the main character to Matthew, after I had already written so much for Jake, threw me off a little and I really had to visualize what Matt would be like in this role! As always, feedback/suggestions are always welcome! If you have any questions about the story or on how different scenarios are handled in their relationship, feel free to ask! And just a side note, this Gif is Matthew’s best look and if you don’t agree...... you have no taste (respectfully).

<—Previous Chapter Next Chapter—>

Summary: You go on your date with Matt and talk about the past! Sorry this is a shit summery lol

Word count: 4913 words

“Hellooooo earth to y/n/n” Kaylee was snapping her finger at you, trying to get your attention from across the couch.

Kaylee was over to hangout and then help you get ready for your date later on in the day, a date that you were extremely nervous for.

“Sorry I zoned out” you apologized, you hadn’t heard one word of the story she was trying to tell you, something about the new guy she was talking to. You felt horrible but you couldn’t get your mind to stop overthinking everything.

“Yeah I know, what’s going on in that crazy brain of yours?” Her tone was half joking, half concerned. You had been spacey all day and it was finally starting to show.

“It’s nothing” you waved it off, but everybody knows when a girls says ‘it’s nothing’, it is most definitely not nothing and its probably weighing heavy on her conscience.

“Come onnnn your not fooling anyone. Are you nervous for your date tonight with your boy-toy?” She joked to try and lighten the mood, but when she saw that your expression hadn’t softened she quickly became more serious. “Y/n, whats going on? Talk to me.” She pleaded, pulling her legs up onto the couch so she could sit crisscross, leaning forward slightly to prepare for you response.

You let out a small sigh “I just can’t stop thinking about Matt and questioning his intentions.” You looked down at your hands as you played with the strings on your sweat pants.

“What’d you mean?”

“I know that this is what I’ve been praying and hoping for for the last 9 months but I just can’t help thinking he is only doing this because we have a child together. Like he doesn’t actually love me, he just feels obligated to try things again. Or maybe I’m just his rebound from Lexi since I’m an easy option.” So many possibilities were running through your head.

The only possibility you wouldn’t consider was that of him still being in love with you. The reason you didn’t even want to think about it was because if you did think about it, you might start to believe it and if you started to believe it, you might get hurt again. The last thing you wanted was to complicate your relationship further. What you had going was good, it worked. Your son was happy and well taken care of and you could easily coexist with Matthew. But if he ever hurt you again, you weren’t sure you could ever go back.

“Do you wanna know what I think?” You nodded in response to Kaylee’s question, but even if you responded with no, she was gonna tell you anyway. “I think that psyching yourself out over questions you can’t answer is silly. You need to go into the date tonight with an open mind, pretend you just met him and your giving him a chances.”

“I can’t pretend to not know him, I can’t just ignore the past.”

“I know, and it’s gonna be difficult, but try. It might help to not center your conversations around Reign, focus on yourselves and getting to know each other again.”

“But I don’t know what else to talk about with him, that’s literally the only thing we have in common anymore.” you knew Kaylee was right but you were just in a mood were you felt like being difficult.

“I know for a fact that’s not true.” She shook her head not taking any of your B.S. “What did you two talk about when you were together before Reign.” she had a motherly tone about her, trying to help you see past your own stubbornness.

“That’s a good question.” You thought for a second “I honestly can’t remember, but I do know we laughed a lot.” you smiled to yourself thinking back to the good times you shared with Matt.

“Exactly! I’m sure tonight will be no different, just be yourself and it will come naturally.” You were about to argue again but she continued. “ and if it helps ease your mind at all, I know he is still in love with you and really wants this to work.”

“I hope so” you half whispered. You quickly changed the subject so you could stop worrying yourself with questions of the unknown.

You weren’t sure where the time had gone, but it was already 4:30 when you looked at the clock next, and you had to start getting ready for your date. Kaylee did your hair while you worked on your makeup, it was a perfect system. You went with a pretty natural look since you typically only wore mascara and concealer while Kaylee did your hair in perfect beach waves.

By 5:45 you were rushing to change into an outfit since you were a little behind. You put on black jeans with a black body suit. You picked out simple open toed heals and put you Hermès belt on to finish the look. It was simple but still dressy enough for dinner.

As soon as you put the last gold hoop in you ear there was a knocking at the door.

“I’ll get it, take you time!” Kaylee smiled as she hurried out of your room to answer the door.

You could hear, what you could only describe as baby talk, coming from the front of your apartment and you froze thinking Matt had either forgotten about your date and was just coming to drop off Reign or he couldn’t find a sitter and your date was canceled.

You tried not to look too defeated as you made you way into the living room where you heard your baby’s giggles and Matt’s voice.

When you walked into the room, you went unnoticed for a few seconds, so you just observed. Kaylee was playing with Reign on the floor and Matt was standing by the couch watching them play. He was dressed in a nice shirt and dress pants, holding a bouquet of you favorite flowers in his hand. Finally you cleared your throat to make them aware of your presence and Matt quickly turned.

“Hi” he smirked as he looked you over. For a man of so many words he was, for once, at a loss.

“Hey” you smiled back playfully.

“You look beautiful.” He walked towards you giving you a hug and kiss on the cheek as he held the flowers out to the side, careful not to crush them. “These are obviously for you.” He said handing you the flowers as he pulled away from the hug.

“Thank you they’re Beautiful, you know me so well.” And with that small statement his face turned bright red. Even after everything, he still remembered this little detail about you, it was impressive!

You walked to place the flowers in the vase sitting on your kitchen Island. You looked out into the living room when you heard Reigns little cries and were reminded of his presence.

“I’m guessing you couldn’t handle all the logistics since you couldn’t find anyone to watch him?” You said, mocking Matt’s statement from the day before as you nodded towards the baby and looked back at Matt.

“What do you mean? I did find someone.” He looked fake hurt at your lack of faith in him. “Kaylee’s going to watch him for the night.”

“Ohhhh” you now understood, feeling kind of stupid for not putting two and two together. “My brain is just not working properly today I’m sorry” you looked down at your hands.

“I can tell, what’s on your mind?” He reached out to grab your hand, pulling you closer and wrapping and arm around you waist while the other one was leaning on the island. You put you hand on his chest as you looked up at him. It all felt so familiar and comfortable but at the same time uncomfortable. You didn’t want to get your hopes up just to have your heart crushed again.

“All stuff we can talk about at dinner.” You said stepping away from his touch “let me just say bye to Kaylee and Reign then we can go.” You walked into the living room with Matt following closely behind.

You picked up Reign and gave him a bunch of kisses. Fake bitting his cheeks as you told him how much you loved him. Out of the corner of you eye you caught Matt staring, smiling bigger than you’ve seen in a while. The sight of you with Reign always seemed to make his heart skip, and he hadn’t seen much of it in a while.

After thanking Kaylee for watching Reign, you and Matt made your way out to his car. Once you got close he picked up his pace to open you car door for you before you got there. He was being a gentlemen tonight but it made you even more worried. Worried that it wasn’t sincere and he was just doing this for a quick fuck.

Nevertheless, you climbed into his car and proper your elbow up on the center console, leaning closer to the driver seat. It was a force of habit, something you only did with Matt when you two were still together. When you first started dating and he would pick you up, he would always make the comment ‘you’re too far away’ when you sat normally in the passenger seat. So on every short drive you leaned over the center console to be close to him.

But when he climbed into the driver seat you felt too close to him, so you sat back in the seat normally. If you hadn’t been looking at his reflection in the black screen of the navigation system, you would have never seen the way his face fell at your actions. But you kept quiet pretending not to notice so the date wouldn’t become awkward.

Any fear you had beforehand about going on this date quickly faded as you and Matt fell into easy conversation. You caught up on each others live because even though you still spoke often due to the fact that you had a child together, conversation only revolved around Reign. It was nice to talk about something other than parenting.

You pulled up to the restaurant Matt decided to take you to and you felt a knot in you stomach. When you and Matt broke up, it was a few weeks before his birthday. A few days before the fight, you had made reservations at this very restaurant for his birthday. He had been talking about how bad he wanted to try it out and you wanted to surprise him, but you obviously never made it there together.

“Uh oh, what happened what’s wrong.” Matt saw your face and automatically became panicked.

“Nothing nothing, just brought back a memory.” You gave him a tight smile to try and let him know everything was okay.

“The restaurant?” He questioned.

“Yeah, but it’s really not a big deal, it’s barely a memory.” You gave a slight giggle to let him know you were fine with eating there, cause you really were.

Your convincing must have been good enough because Matt hopped out of the car and made his way around to the passenger side. You slightly opened the door before he got there so he shut it on you just to open it again himself. He chuckled and you rolled your eyes.

He grabbed your hand to help you out of the car and you made you way towards the restaurant.

“So what was the memory.” He asked thinking that you were going to tell a story about a date gone wrong with another man or something since he had no memory of being there with you.

“Just before we broke up, I planned a surprise dinner here for your birthday with our-... uh your close friends.” You looked over and saw the frown on his face “you wouldn’t stop going on and on about how your teammates said this was THE BEST place to eat and we just hadddd to go.” You giggled trying to lighten the mood.

He gave you a smile back and you just hoped that you didn’t ruin the mood of the night. Talking back on your relationship was still a little hard since it was still kind of freshish and you guys were trying to work on things. So any mention of a bad memory made Matt tense up, out of fear that too much damage had already been done.

Thankfully your anecdote didn’t kill the mood and when you made it to the table, conversation flowed as normal.

After telling the waitress your food order, you were left with a lot of free time to talk about the past, present and future.

“Can I ask you something?” you started, looking down at your fingers, playing with them in you lap.

“Anything” Matt quickly responded.

“You said you realized during my pregnancy that you made a mistake and wanted to get back together, why didn’t you ever say anything?” You looked up at him ready for an answer.

He let out a sigh “Well uh ..... I really don’t know. I thought you would see, by everything I was doing and how involved I was, that I wanted you back and it would just happen naturally.” Now he was the one looking down at his fingers “and honestly I thought we were on the way to getting back together, and then the gender reveal party happened, everything was so good, until it wasn’t.” He looked back up at you staring into your eyes. “We kissed and it was perfect, I thought ‘wow I got my girl back’ and then you walked away, basically avoiding me the rest of the day.”

“I did not” you cut him off.

“No you most certainly did, and then everyday after that when we would see each other, you made it very clear that you didn’t want anything further than a co-parenting relationship.”

“I didn’t mean to be like that y’know.” You started “I just thought you kissed me by mistake, that you were caught up in the moment and didn’t realize what you were doing. Then after that I wanted to make sure things didn’t become awkward. I didn’t want you to think that I took the kiss the wrong way and expected more from you.”

“You always overthink way to much babe.” Your heart swelled at the pet name. “I promise you I’m not that complicated, you will always know how I feel about you, you definitely don’t have to second guess everything.”

“I know- I mean I did know that when we were together, but the breakup caught me so off guard I didn’t know what to think anymore.” You were trying not to become too emotional.

The waitress brought out your appetizers before you continued your conversation.

“That was so fucking stupid of me.” He stated after putting some of the calamari on his plate. You just looked at him, waiting for him to elaborate. “I was so fucking in love with you and I threw it all away because I was scared to live together.”

“Why were you so scared?” You wanted answers at this point.

“Because I brought it up with some of the younger guys on the team when you were dropping hints to me about moving in together the weeks before, they are dumb and immature and got into my head.” He was clearly sorry he asked young idiots for advice “then I made the dumbest decision of my life and I’m still paying the price till this day.”

“I wish you would have told me all of this sooner.” You stated bluntly.

“Why? Cause I don’t have a shot anymore?” His body tensed with worry.

“I’m not saying that, I wouldn’t have agreed to a date if you didn’t have a shot” you reassured him. “I’m just saying you would have saved both of us a lot of heart ache if you mentioned all this sooner.”

“I know, I’m sorry, if i could go back in time and do it again I would change everything...” he kinda got lost in thought, thinking about what could have happened if he never broke things off.

“Can I ask you another questions?”

“Y/n/n, just ask the question” he was half joking but also half telling you to stop prefacing your questions with ‘can I ask you a question’.

“Is it too soon to be going on a date after everything with Lexi?” You sheepishly asked.

“If your asking me if you are a rebound, the answer is most definitely no. If anything she was a distraction from you, or at least that what she was suppose to be” he took a breathe and debated telling you the next part. “anytime I was with her I was always comparing her to you, always thinking ‘if y/n was here she wouldn’t be complaining she would actually enjoy the time spent together’” you would be lying if you said that didn’t make you feel a little bit better. But he quickly changed the subject, clearly not wanting to talk about his ex with you. “Have you seen anyone since we broke up.” He asked and you jokingly glared at him.

“Oh yeah definitely, so many guys knocking down my door” You sarcastically responded. “Matthew, nobody wants to get with a pregnant girl.”

“You’d be surprised how many guys are into that” he chuckled. “And not to mention you’re a total MILF” He lighted the mood from the heavy topic you just covered!

“Are you flirting with me Matthew Tkachuk?” You jokingly question.

“Always.” You two continue more casual conversation as you finished your appetizer and were served your main course. You guys laughed and laughed as you ate your meal, something you had been missing with everyone else in your life, that only he could do.

“I haven’t seen your family in a while, how are they.” You later asked. Matt had just finished his plate of food and was now picking at the last bit of mashed potatoes and steak on your plate that you weren’t going to eat.

“Good.” He placed his fork down and looked up at you. “They really miss you y’know”

“I miss them too.” you had become extremely close to Matt family in the years you dated. Matt’s parents treated you as if you were their own daughter and you had a strong bond with Chantal.

“My mom always asks if you want to join whenever they come to spend time with me and Reign.” He picked up the fork and started picking again.

“Well maybe next time, I really would love to see them.”

“They would love that.” He paused a quick second “and I mean, I wouldn’t mind it either.” He gave you another one of his smirks.

After he paid the bill, you made the short walk back to the car. On the walk you felt Matt’s hand brush against yours and you thought he was going to grab it, but he didn’t want to push his luck, so he refrained.

He again opened you door when you made it to the car and helped you in. When he got settle into the drivers seat he glance at you.

“You’re too far away.” He sheepishly said as he stared ahead, starting the car. You once again leaned on the center console this time more comfortable with the action since he asked. You felt butterflies in your stomach.

10 minutes later you pulled up to your favorite ice cream shop. You looked over at Matt and smiled.

“You really do know how to win a girl over Matthew Tkachuk.” And at that, he smiled right back at you.

After getting your ice cream, you two sat on a bench and enjoyed each others company. It was such a good night and date, that you didn’t want it to end. But of course, all things come to an end.

“I should probably get you home.” Matt look up at you after finishing his ice cream. You were shivering without a jacket on.

“Yeah It’s getting pretty cold.” You responded as you both got up from the bench and made your way back to his car.

When you climbed in the car, you leaned on the center console again and Matt grabbed your hand once he put the car into drive. The ride back to your apartment was comfortably quiet. You were finally starting to believe that maybe, just maybe, this was actually going to work out.

You prepared for him to just drop you off at your apartment when you pulled up but he made his way into the parking garage and you knew he was going to walk you all the way up to your door. You both got out and made your way to the elevator, hand in hand.

You still had many difficult conversation that needed to be had about your relationship but those were sent to the back burner for the time being. You were happy you got to enjoy each other’s company and not worry about what was next or what was going to happen with your current setup. You got to act like a real couple, going out on a nice date.

You made it to you door and expected to say your goodbyes, but Matt asked if he could come in for a little. You, of course, were not ready to end the date just yet so you agreed.

As you walked through the front door you spotted Kaylee, sitting on the couch watching a movie. As soon as she was aware of you presence she got up and made her way over to you. Then a look of shock washed over her face as she saw Matt walk in behind you.

“I’m assuming the date went well then.” She giggled. You looked toward Matt and smiled shyly. He nodded in response to her.

“Okay well I’ll leave you love birds to it. Reign was really good, I just put him to sleep so he should be out for a little while.” She said as she packed up her things.

“Thanks for watching him Kay, we really appreciate it.” Matt responded before you had the chance to.

You hugged Kaylee on her way out and she whispered “I can’t wait to hear every single detail tomorrow.” Just loud enough for you to hear. You just chuckled and nodded closing the front door behind her.

When you turned around, you found Matt sitting on the couch, patting the spot next to him and motioning for you to join him. You took your shoes off and made you way over to him.

“You want to watch a movie or something.” He asked, you nodded in response as you picked up the remote from the coffee table and handed it to him. You sat down next to him but not so close that you were touching.

Matt scrolled through Netflix and Hulu giving you options to watch! You settled on 50 first dates since it’s one of your favorites. After pressing play, Matt stood up to turn all the lights off. He still remembered that lights on while watching a movie was one of your pet peeves. It’s not like it was all that long ago that you dated, you just always thought he never cared enough about the little things. Tonight he was proving you all wrong but in the best way possible.

When he returned to the couch he pulled you with him to lay down, so you two were cuddling on the couch. Your bodies fit perfectly together and you wondered why you two ever broke up in the first place.

As the movie went on, you started to feel Matt’s hands roam your body. It wasn’t in a way that made you uncomfortable and it wasn’t sexually charged either. He was simply getting reacquainted with your body. But at some point when you looked away from the TV and up at Matthew he leaned in and kissed you.

You were in the middle of a firey make out session when you were interrupted by the cries of your baby. You both groaned and pulled away. You quickly hopped off the couch and made you way to Reigns room, picking him up out of his crib and hurrying back to the living room.

Everything felt so domestic that when you got back, you sat down on the couch and started breast feeding in front of Matt. You wouldn’t have given it a second thought until you saw the expression on his face and you remembered that he had never seen you do that before.

You continued to feed Reign but moved you shirt so you weren’t as exposed and adjusted you body so you were slightly turned away from him. You were a little embarrassed, since you could have just done it in the nursery, now regretting your decision to come out into the living room.

“You can- uh- play the movie.” You looked over at Matt, he was still staring but you couldn’t really read his expression. You hoped he wasn’t judging you. He nodded and turned away, proceeding to play the movie.

When Reign was done feeding and you got him to burp, you quietly made you way back to his room, where you placed him back down in the crib.

When you came back to the living room, Matt once again pulled you down on top of his body, hugging you tight.

“Your an amazing mom y/n/n” he whispered as his face pressed against the side of yours. You turned your head and leaned in to kiss him.

“And your a great dad” you said against his lips. The kissing quickly turned heated again and his hands were roaming you body for a second time that night, but this time with sexual intent behind it.

Matt flipped you both over so he was on top and pulled down the top of you shirt to give him access to explore you chest. As he started trailed kisses down your body, his left hand was trying find the button on you jeans. He eventually gave up and started to slip he hand into you pants but you quickly grab his wrist, placing his hand back on your hip. He kissed back up you body but stopped when he made it to your face.

“You okay?” He whispered, clearly concerned.

“Uh yeah yeah-”you trail off “I just don’t want to rush anything.” He nodded in understanding.

“Of course, I don’t want to do anything your not comfortable with or ready for.” You smiled and he leaned in to place a sweet kiss on your lips, bringing the mood back down to a comfortable cuddle. You settle back down into a spooning position and he rubbed his thumb across your stomach as his hand rested there, leaving kisses on the back of your neck every so often.

The movie ended but you continued to sit in your same position while the credits rolled. After a few mins you started to doze off, but you were brought back to reality when Matt spoke.

“I should probably get going or else I’m going to fall asleep here.” You both worked to sit up and get off the couch. You waited for him to get his keys and wallet together and put his shoes back on before speaking.

“Thank you for tonight, I had a really good time.” You made direct eye contact with his baby blues.

“So does that mean I get to take you out again?” He questioned in a playful manner.

“I’ll think about it.” You joked back and walked to give him a hug.

“Don’t think too hard.”

As you pulled away from the hug Matt leaned in and your lips connected. Once you pulled away, Matt rested his forehead against yours.

“We’ll talk tomorrow?” He questioned

You hummed in response “and can you please text me when you make it home?” Something you always asked people you cared deeply about. This time he hummed in response.

“Goodnight y/n.”

“Goodnight Matty.” And with that you closed the door behind him. You leaned you back against the door and slide down until you we sitting on the ground, a huge smile stuck on your face. The night couldn’t have gone any better. You were happy but still scared, scared that if you let you walls down too soon, he would just end up breaking you again.

You made your way to your bedroom and went through your nightly routine. You quickly changed into sweats and an over size t-shirt and tucked yourself into bed. You scrolled through Instagram for a few mins before you got a notification on you phone.

Matty:

Just got home.

Y/n/n:

Ahhh for once he actually texts me 😲

Matty:

What can I say.... I’m a changed man

But on a serious note thank you for giving me this chance tonight. I know it gonna take more than just one date to get you to take me back but I hope this was a good start.

Y/n/n:

I want us to work Matt and I can tell you trying! Thx for the wonderful date <3

Matty:

Goodnight babe ❤️

Y/n/n:

Nighty night Matty <3

Vibes from dates night:

#Matthew Tkachuk #matthew tkachuk x reader #matthew tkachuk fic #nhl imagine #nhl x reader #nhl fanfiction #calgary flames

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it-was-summer · 4 years ago

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Video Killed The Radio Star - Chapter 6 (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)

A/N: Hello! I’m sorry for being so inactive, I just started up college again this semester and it’s been a long week and it’s only Wednesday. I think I might try to update Sunday every week starting next week so we will see how that works out!

Warnings: Soft mention of drugs once again, They are just talking again and things are being put in motion.

Plot: Spencer and you have conversations and make some plans. You have a certain kind of dream.

Word Count: 2.1K

Spencer could feel his cheeks grow warm, a grin creeping its way onto his face. There was the pesky idea of fate repeating in the back of his mind. Spencer suppressed the idea, not wanting it to ruin the moment. He was too busy zoning out, thinking about how easy the smile on his face appeared when he heard your voice, not noticing the growing silence over the line. “Spencer?” your voice called through the phone.

“Yes, I’m sorry, I’m here!” Spencer laughed quickly, clearing his throat nervously. “Why are you up?”

He heard you laughing over the phone, nervous knots twisting in his stomach. “Spencer, it’s seven o’clock.” You giggled, feeling lighter than you had all day. You heard him laugh nervously at himself as he muttered an embarrassment, “Right.”

Spencer licked his lips, “Why did you call?” he questioned, trying his best to relax on his couch.

You felt the weight in your chest replace the butterflies, swallowing hard. You had kept it all in, it was hard to pick the reason for your call. You took in a deep breath, blowing it out slowly. “Things have just been piling up, and I feel like I need some help.” your fingers pinched the comforter between your thumb and index.

“What kind of things have been piling up?” Spencer asked, straightening as he listened.

You pinched the comforter tighter, jaw clenching down. You didn’t want to cry with Dr. Spencer Reid on the phone. Maybe it was because you hated feeling vulnerable. You tried your best to relax and remember that he wouldn’t judge you, he said to call if you needed anything, and you did. “I don’t want to say something stupid,”

“You won’t,”

“Well, it kind of started when I left the hospital. I had a dream, a memory, one night. I could feel her, she wasn’t there, because she’s dead! Then,” you let out a calming breath, “Then, I was in my mom’s kitchen, and I saw this pink light. I was back there, like in the room, I could feel it, smell it.” You shivered, overwhelming anxiety dawning on you.

You felt safe with Spencer, you couldn’t explain why you did, but you did. Was it because he was the first face you saw that day? Or because he had come to check up on you in the hospital?

Despite your overwhelming feeling of trust towards Spencer, you couldn’t stop the tiny voice in the back of your mind that told you he thought you were crazy. Clammy hands rubbed against your pajama pants in a desperate attempt to dry them.

Spencer wanted to spew statistics, say something about how many victims experience post-traumatic stress disorder, but he stopped himself. He wanted to dig deeper, he wanted you to know you weren’t alone. He cleared his throat, trying to sound calm. “I know what it’s like, to feel like they’re still around. It seems irrational to think that a dead person is around, that getting saved was all a dream, but I know what it’s like.”

Your heart rate slowed at his words, closing your eyes as you chuckled gently. “You just have to say that because you're my federal agent,” teasing him softly over the phone.

“Hey, that’s Doctor federal agent to you.” Spencer joked, a tiny chuckle building up in his throat. “I’m saying it because I know,” he ruffled his hair as he tried to think about what to say, falling back into a silent panic. He wasn’t used to talking to people about it, especially people that he didn’t know. He tried to recall his emotions, trying his hardest to remember. He wanted to be a beacon of light for you, something to follow, something to trust. He swallowed hard, “About two years ago, I was kidnapped,”

“Spencer,” your tone was so soft, so sweet, he felt his chest pound. “You don’t have to explain anything to me,” You heard a gentle protest on the other line, shushing him. “Spencer, really, it already means the world to me that you gave me your number. You didn’t even have to pick up and yet, you did.”

Spencer hesitated, wanting to insist that he was fine with talking about it, to insist that it didn’t bother him, but he kept his mouth shut. He knew that it wasn’t something he was comfortable with talking about and you were right. He didn’t even know you, but here he was trying to convince you that you were safe. That you weren’t alone. “I’m sorry,”

“For what?”

Spencer grinned, feeling lame as he searched for an answer. After a few moments of silence, you spoke up again, “Spencer, I’m not working right now and I’m always alone,” you trailed off, your cheeks flaring, “Well, I was wondering if I could keep calling you. As long as you aren’t busy,”

You were waiting to hear Spencer’s calming voice reject you, but you could hear the excitement in his voice as he answered with an enthusiastic “Yes,”

You felt your chest tighten, “I’ll call you tomorrow at eight?”

“Eight sounds good,”

“Okay,”

You quickly said a nervous goodbye, hanging up after hearing Spencer bid you farewell.

---

It was night, cool breezes blew through your hair, as you looked up with a smile. Your arms wrapped around his neck, large hands holding your hips. You ignored the excitement shooting down your spine, your body feeling nuclear under his touch, your emotions being the bomb and his touch was the impact. You felt so wonderfully warm if something touched you, you were sure it would heat up in a second.

You felt his hands move away, pulling at his neck for a thick scarf, wrapping it around your neck delicately, pulling you closer by the ends of it. He laughed, peppermint filling your senses, leaning down quickly. You caught a glance of hazel eyes before you woke up in your lonesome bed.

A pit formed in the bottom of your stomach as you push yourself up on your bed, blinking as you registered who you were just dreaming about. You let out a whisper of a desperate no, dramatically falling back down onto the bed with a groan. Your hands rubbed your eyelids, trying not to picture Spencer leaning down, trying not to remember how he smelt of peppermint. How did you even know that? You scolded yourself as you got up, throwing on some semi-appropriate clothes and heading for the door with your crutches.

You needed some air, you knew he was in your dreamland of romance because he was the last person you talked to last night. After the phone call, you spent the rest of the long night on your bed with a copy of The Picture Of Dorian Gray. Why couldn’t demonic Dorian Gray live in your dreamland? You limped into the coffee shop, holding back a giddy smile as you gave Spencer Reid’s lips one last thought.

You had spent the rest of your day, doing mindless tasks; you read, you cleaned, watched mindless television, anything to keep yourself distracted. Your mind kept drifting towards darker ends, today seemingly worse than the last. Your body yearning desperately for numbing bliss, a gentle reminder that despite all of your romantic dwellings you were still living in an unbearable existence.

You were about to endure another episode of staring up at the ceiling when there was a gentle knock at the door. You welcomed the distraction with a grin, hobbling as fast as you could, over to the door. You opened it to see a delivery woman smiling back at you as she handed you a tiny package, you signed for it quickly and politely shut the door. You sat at your kitchen table, opening the package with a tiny struggle.

It was free from all the tape now, but you couldn’t stop the sick feeling from eating at you. What if you had another stalker? How stupid were you to just bring a package into your house? After everything that had happened, you cursed yourself for your carelessness. You swallowed a quick gulp of air, opening up the package slowly. You let out the air with a tiny gasp, seeing a tiny card on the inside that read Spencer. The note was right next to a box of peppermint tea and a small copy of Oscar Wilde’s The Nightingale and the Rose.

You tried not to let it get to you as fire decorated your cheeks, you opened the note quickly, reading messy handwriting.

Y/N,

Since you said you were always alone, let this keep you company.

-Spencer

You bit the inside of your cheek, heart racing as your stomach filled with the fluttering wings of butterflies. Before you could let your mind go any farther, you suppressed them, choking the life out of beating wings in your stomach. It wasn’t fair to him, to Spencer. He was too good and you were here in your apartment, yearning for a drug to satisfy you. He didn’t need that. He shouldn’t have to fix you and he wasn’t going to be your coping mechanism.

You stood up, grabbing the peppermint tea, slipping it into the cabinet with a dramatic huff. On your way back to the couch you grabbed the book, sitting down and letting it do the job of keeping you company.

After a cup of peppermint tea, you called Spencer’s phone. You felt a very familiar lump grow in your throat as you heard the first ring. Despite being in the good company of a good book, you couldn’t stop thinking about Spencer. It seemed that thoughts of him kept you more company than anything Oscar Wilde could produce. You let yourself be convinced that he was just a friend, that he was just someone trying to help you get through a rough patch. He was just someone who understood.

Another ring. You squeezed your eyes tight, the sudden urge to hang up the phone was becoming slightly overwhelming. You were about to hang up the phone at the third ring, but then you heard a very breathless “Hello?”

Anxiety exited your system, warmth replacing the void effortlessly. “Hi,” you chuckled, hearing a heavy pant on the other end of the line, “Did I interrupt a workout routine?”

“No,” Spencer let out a breathy laugh, relaxing at the sound of your voice. It was a welcome distraction from his day, they didn’t have a case, it was just a long day. “I was just cleaning up,”

“Is the doctor dirty?” you questioned, the word choice setting in as your cheeks became a light pink, stuttering to fix your mistake. “I mean, messy! Are you messy?”

Spencer didn’t think the question was all that odd till he realized that it could have been taken out of context and then he let out a tiny chuckle, shaking his head slowly. “No, I’m not dirty, just cluttered,” he answered, a smile on his lips. “Did you get the package?”

“Yes,” Your voice rising in volume with excitement, “I did, it was perfect. Thank you so much.” A tiny piece of guilt slithering into your mind as you stole a glance over at the book next to you. You were about to speak when Spencer cut you off.

“I was just thinking about what you said last night and thought it would cheer you up,”

Your guilty thoughts came to a halt, a blush creeping its way towards your ears as you let out a gentle, “It did,”

“I’m glad it did,”

You let out a soft hum, trying to come up with something to say. You wanted to ask him how his day was, or ask him how he was feeling. But all of those questions seemed weak. You could’ve told him that you wanted to be friends, but your emotions decided for you. “Would you be alright with going out, like as friends?”

“As friends?”

“I would like us to go out as friends, yes.” your voice shook slightly with anxiety as you waited for his response.

Spencer couldn’t fight back the laugh bubbling in his chest, chuckling at how nervous you seemed. “I would love to,”

“Are you sure?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know, you might think I’m weird or something?”

“Y/N,”

“Yes?”

“I would want nothing more than to go out with you, as a friend, that is.”

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seasonschange-butpeopledont · 4 years ago

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The Last of Us: Part III

Pairing: Frankie Morales x F!Reader / Santiago “Pope” Garcia x F!Reader (This is a flashback chapter, Reader is not present.)

Warnings: Language. Nothing else, really, other than Tom being the worst (generally) and no one trusting him (because they shouldn’t, but we’ll touch on that more in future chapters).

Word Count: 767

Author’s Note: More Triple Frontier zombie apocalypse AU that no one asked for. This was inspired by this week’s Writer Wednesday challenge from @autumnleaves1991-blog. Consider this a mini update. I will have a full length update coming along in a few hours (I think? Possibly tomorrow afternoon.)

Summary: When Frankie’s truck breaks down in the middle of nowhere, Frankie and Pope spend the night on guard duty and wonder if everyone in their group can really be trusted. Set five months prior to Part I.

Part II - Taglist Form - Masterlist - Part IV

Five Months Earlier…

It was a hell of a time for his old truck to break down.

They were somewhere in New Mexico, just about to cross the state line into Texas. It was bound to happen sooner or later. The five of them had been on a road trip of sorts for the past month, driving aimlessly, picking off infected when they needed to. There was nowhere to go, nowhere to be anymore.

Tom had been the one to make the final call about the Quarantine Zones. They’d spent enough time in the military to know that when the government was put in charge of anything, they tended to fuck it up. The Federal Disaster Response Agency was bad news.

So they all piled into Frankie’s pickup instead, each of them equipped with whatever tactical gear they’d managed to throw into their backpacks and a few boxes of camping supplies, and headed out.

But now, the sight of smoke pouring from the engine forced them to pull over to the side of the road. The sun was blazing down on them, and Pope and Benny took the first shift of guarding the truck while Frankie worked to patch up an engine that was already barely held together by duct tape and hope. It was overheating, the effects of constant driving and the desert-like climate taking its toll.

“C’mon, baby, don’t do this to me…” Frankie murmured, swiping away the sweat that dripped down his temple. They didn’t have much left in the way of water, and almost pained him to pour the bottle over the radiator.

“What’s the verdict, Fish?” Will asked, coming to stand beside him. Frankie gave him a solemn look that told him all he needed to know.

“We’re stuck here until she cools down,” Frankie replied quietly. “Maybe tonight, after the sun goes down…”

“But...?”

“I don’t know what damage it did to the engine when it overheated. Even if I did, I don’t have the parts to fix it. The old girl’s on her way out.” The pickup had been with him since the day he’d turned sixteen, passed down to him from his father. He’d repaired this thing more times than he could count, and he dreaded to think he’d probably be abandoning her soon.

“My condolences,” Will replied, patting his friend’s shoulder. “Maybe she’ll make it to Texas. We’ll be able to find a salvage yard there.”

Frankie nodded, raising his eyebrows, “Hope so.”

It was a relief when the sun finally slipped below the horizon, cooling the air around them to a temperature that was almost comfortable by comparison. Dinner consisted of a round of MRE’s from the stockpile Will had kept in his basement for years. Frankie never thought he’d be grateful to see those again after he came home from deployment, but he knew that most people had it much worse these days.

Frankie volunteered for guard duty that night. As the designated driver of the group, he usually got out of it, but tonight he couldn’t seem to quiet his mind.

They’d been in bad situations before, and they’d always made it through just fine. Frankie knew that, but… Frankie was the pilot. He was the one who took control, who got his guys out of whatever situation they’d gotten themselves into. He could fly over hostile territories all day long, but strand him in the desert? That’s when Frankie got nervous.

“You doin’ okay, Fish?” Pope asked, plopping himself down beside him in the dirt.

“Just peachy,” Frankie deadpanned. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“Nah,” He shook his head, grinning slightly. “You need somebody watching your back.”

“That’s what Tom is for, right?” Frankie mumbled, nodding towards the man who’d taken up post on the opposite side of the camp.

Pope gave a soft snort, bumping his shoulder. “You know better than that, Fishie. Shit’s about to get tough out here. Redfly is gonna be looking out for number one.”

Frankie nodded his agreement. Tom may have been the de facto leader of their group, but he was no team player.

“What’s that phrase? You don’t have to be faster than the bear–”

“Just faster than the guy next to you. Yeah. That sounds like Tom,” Pope finished. “That’s okay, though. At least we know who not to trust.”

“Right,” Frankie sighed, still watching the horizon carefully.

“And if worst comes to worst, you know I’ll always have your back, right? No man left behind.”

“Not even Redfly?” Frankie asked, the corner of his mouth curling into a crooked grin.

“Yeah, no. Fuck that guy.”

General Taglist: @theravenreads @marshmallowtraver @computeringturtle @maythxthirstbxwithyou @artsymaddie @heythere-mel

Pedro Characters Taglist: @pascalisthepunkest @coldlilheart @fuck-goes-on @spideysimpossiblegirl

The Last of Us (Triple Frontier AU) Taglist: @kesskirata @a-bang-for-your-bucky @brianamaree

Frankie Morales (Triple Frontier) Taglist: @freeshavocadoooo @fangirl-of-randomness @darnitdraco

Santiago “Pope” Garcia (Triple Frontier) Taglist: @rosequartzwriting

#Writer Wednesday #frankie morales x reader #santiago pope garcia x reader #santiago garcia x reader #francisco catfish morales x reader #triple frontier #pedro pascal characters fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #frankie morales x you #santiago garcia x you #santiago pope garcia

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lyraparadigm · 3 years ago

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Never Have I Ever...One Shots S2 & Beyond

Fanfic on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32770339/chapters/81307000

(More chapters in the link)

Chapter 1: Never Have I Ever...Done Well In School

It felt good to do well in school. Paxton missed feeling accomplished. Ever since he broke his arm and couldn’t swim, he felt like there was a void in his chest..something he couldn’t quite pin point till this very day. Seeing his classmates clap for him at the end of his extra credit presentation felt good - like a few months ago when he was still on the swim team and breaking records. To top it off, Ojichan was there and now he couldn’t stop praising Paxton at dinner with Mom, Dad and Rebecca. Paxton couldn’t help the dopey grin that overtook his face when Ojichan asked what inspired him to step out of his comfort zone. Devi. He wasn’t gonna say that though.

“I just wanted to go above and beyond in school.” He shrugged nonchalantly, his face still split in a grin.

Shaking his head, he chuckled to himself and mumbled under his breath, “I wanted to swim to San Diego.”

“Huh?” Rebecca asked, ever observant and Paxton, try as he might, couldn’t keep that damn grin off his face.

“Well, whatever it was, i’m proud of you Paxton. Thank you for convincing me to tell my story. It was the right thing to do.” Ojichan’s admission meant everything to Paxton and as he walked back to the garage after dinner, to play Call of Duty, it struck him that this wasn’t really what he wanted to be doing.

Without much thought, he grabbed his keys and was on his way to Devi Vishwakumar’s house. The closer her got to her home, the louder he could hear his heart beat. Adrenaline was pumping through his veins and he felt like he was about to compete at a swim meet, or maybe sit in that Facing History test for the first time again.And then the insecurity set in… what if Devi was still into Ben? But that couldn’t be, right? Ben was with Aneesa and Devi was pretty chill with that. Her crying the other day has nothing to do with Ben. It was to do with her friends and he fixed that…he made her smile… so maybe…He shook himself free of those thoughts as he parked on her street by the fire hydrant so Dr. Vishwakumar wouldn’t be able to see him. He wasn’t gonna make that mistake again. Besides, it was just going to be a quick in and out. He just needed to say thank you to Devi. No need to knock on her door and meet her mom. He was just going to…what, throw rocks at her window? That was cheesy as hell and Paxton didn’t do cheese.

He licked his lips, frowning as he realised it was raining. How had he not realised this before?! Well, he was outside her house now…and the longer he dithered, the more soaked he was getting. Grunting, he started climbing the tree outside Devi’s house. He had never done this before. He usually just knocked on the front door or invited the girl around. Damn Paxton, just get a grip.He was on the roof now and her bedroom light was on and she was…she was sat there in these cute pjs that somehow did a great job at outlining her figure despite completely covering her. Her window was open, so he could just climb in… he blinked sheepishly…maybe he should text her before he did that. That’d be the polite thing to do.

He watched like a total creep as she responded to his ‘what r u doing’ text.‘U want company?’ He had barely finished hitting send before he knocked. She was so goddamn cute - no. He was just here to thank her. Right. He climbed in as she got off her bed and approached him.

“Paxton…”

He breathed out a laugh at the ridiculousness of this situation.

“You’re in my house…” she appeared utterly confused, her brows furrowing adorably.

He laughed, a little shy, a little nervous, “Yeah…I guess so”His palms felt clammy all of a sudden and he could feel every drop of rain seeping into his skin through his shirt. His hair must have been a mess but he was just going to start talking anyway.

“Look I just wanted to say thank you for all your help.” His eyes could help but stray down her form quickly, “It felt so good to finally do something well in school” and he noticed her eyes drift too, though her gaze was far more obvious than his had ever been. And it struck him suddenly. There was never any hiding with Devi. She always just did what she wanted, when she wanted - like that time she propositioned him for sex despite having never spoken to him before, or when she manipulated Mr. Shapiro into giving Paxton a second chance at that Facing history test.So maybe it was time Paxton did what he wanted too.

“So…are you here to study…or….” The anticipation in her voice did things to him. Devi always had a way of looking or talking to him like she couldn’t quite believe he was talking back or looking at her or..well, now he was about to wipe that look off her face.

“No” he shook his head, closing the distance between them, barely giving her a chance to adjust, barely giving himself a chance to change his mind. His hand was in her hair, his gaze flickered down past her nose ring to her lips while he released a slow breath. This was happening. His eyes met hers for a moment before he closed them and leaned forwards, his lips pressing against hers in the softest of kisses that somehow felt different than any other kiss he had given her before.

And then all bets were off; one hand wedged firmly in her hair, the other rose to grasp her waist as his lips moved sensually over hers and before he realised, he was backing her towards her bed. She didn’t seem opposed to any of it, her own hands gripping his forearms to start with, then grazing his arms before settling on his chest.He crawled on top of her bed, his lips never leaving hers for long as they adjusted so they were lying on their sides, kissing each other languidly.

Soft kisses, open mouthed kisses, lingering ones, breathy ones…he could spend hours just learning her mouth and all the little hitches in her breath when he switched up the pace, or pressed his tongue against the seem of her lips. Then her leg forced its way between his and his brain short circuited a little. He didn’t think it was intentional, he didn’t really think she realised that her thigh was now pressed firmly against his… she seemed too absorbed in kissing him, her hands wading through his hair, nails scratching his scalp and making him shiver. ‘I don’t kiss guys often, Paxton!’ He remembered her admission weeks ago… for someone inexperienced, she sure was good at making him breathless. And to think he thought this would just be a quick visit. He was careful to not push. His hands stayed at her waist mostly, his thumb gently rubbing circles on her lower back. Occasionally his lips would drift to her jaw and kiss the spot below her ear. That drew a breathy sigh out of her that sent a heat wave up his spine. His lips returned to kissing hers, not wanting to get carried away, not wanting to push.

“Paxton?” she mumbled as they parted for breath, noses rubbing against each others. Her eyes were squeezed shut as she asked, “this isn’t a dream right? I’ve not just fallen asleep on my math homework? Am I drooling?”

He chuckled, cheeks blushing a little in embarrassment. There was a lot to unpack here - she dreamed of him apparently and God she was adorable.“This is real”, the words were barely out of his mouth before she lunged the already short distance between them and started kissing him once more. They must have been at it for at least an hour, he surmised, based on how uncomfortably tight his jeans were getting. He rolled onto his back to cool off, grinning dopily at the puppy dog frown on her face. She settled on her back too and they both stared at the ceiling, catching their breath.

“Did you talk to your Mom? You know.. after you saw her in the Maybach”Her brows furrowed again and her fists clenched. It always fascinated him how quickly her temper flared. The first time he took notice of her wasn’t when she asked him for sex, it was when she said something about Nazis killing Ben Gross. He had been surprised a nerd like her had the balls to say something like that in class and get sent to the Principal’s office.

“I just feel like she’s moving on so quick - it’s not even been a year since my dad died” Devi huffed and Paxton turned to face her.

He picked up an errant strand of hair and curled it around his finger, “Maybe you should talk to her?”

“I yelled at her already and now I don’t want to talk to her. I don’t want to talk about this.”

He nodded. He didn’t know what to say. Devi’s life was intense with a lot more drama than he was used to. He called her crazy once, with her ‘psycho’ drama. He cringed a little at that. It did nothing to ease his hurt when he said it then and it wasn’t doing much else but deepen his guilt now. So instead of saying anything at all, he let his fingers drift from her hair to brush against her nose ring and then against her lips.

He felt a flutter in his stomach on seeing her anger melt off her face..like he was the only one that could do that… just like when he made her smile after her face was all puffy from crying about Eleanor. ‘Swim to San Diego’ seemed to be echoing in his mind a lot lately, especially whenever he gazed into her eyes. Her eyes. Had they always been this pretty? He grinned at his own thoughts now and it grew further when she matched his smile. He sighed against her lips, unable to keep away for long. His lips hovered against hers, never quite touching, just teasing…till she let out a grunt of frustration, much to his amusement, and reached forwards to mash their lips together. It was clumsy at first and he let out a groan as her teeth nicked his lips but his laughter died down when she snuck her leg between his again and then a different sort of groan left his mouth.

“Devi,” he breathed, pulling away from her and enjoying seeing that dazed look on her face he was so familiar with. His shirt was fully dry now and he figured it was time to stop pushing his luck. He shuddered to think what Dr. Vishwakumar would do if she caught him in her daughter’s bed.

“I’ve gotta go,” he pressed a quick kiss to Devi’s lips and she squeezed his hand in response. Walking to the window and ducking out, he found he was unable to leave without kissing her goodbye.

“I’ll call you tomorrow” he spoke gently against her lips and yep, there it was, that look on her face that made his stomach feel giddy. She looked at him like he had hung the moon and it was hella endearing.It had him grinning all the way back down to her front lawn and to the short walk to his jeep.Yeah this was definitely not a quick visit.Swim to San Diego indeed.

#devi x paxton #devi vishwakumar #paxton hall yoshida #daxton #nhie

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kozozaki · 4 years ago

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We really fucked up this time - Ranboo x Reader Chapter 4

Y/n will be a little touchy with Tubbo this chapter (Tubbo and Tommy throughout the story) Y/n is just really comfortable around them and I don't have a better way of showing that than them hugging and stuff. Everything with anyone that isn't Ranboo is platonic no matter how much it doesn't seem like it.

Y/n hadn’t been to L’manburg in a couple of days, she didn’t want to be there until she was required to. Ranboo came over that day as he promised, it was really sweet of him to offer. Y/n must admit, she didn’t realize how lonely she was over there until Ranboo showed up, it was nice having someone over who she got along with.

She was just barely missing the qualifications to be considered late. She rushed to the holy lands, where the meeting room was, “Y/n, you’re here! I didn’t think you would want to come after, the other day,” Fundy said.

“Umm, yeah, I’m sorry, I broke down for no real reason. B-But I’m fine now, I promise!” Ranboo had comforted her a lot when he was there.

“It’s perfectly fine Y/n. Are you okay though, really? If you have a nervous breakdown in the middle of the meeting, I’ll feel responsible, please, tell the truth, Y/n,” Tubbo made her feel guilty, but it wasn’t completely a lie, she was feeling better for the most part.

She nodded, “I promise, Tubbo.”

“Big Q and Fundy, you will be seated on the left side, Y/n and Tommy will be seated on the right, Tommy, you will be next to me,” Tubbo informed. Everyone nodded and prepared themselves to enter the room, as the atmosphere was already tense, they couldn’t imagine how it would be in there. Y/n gave Connor a confused look. He shrugged as if to say, ‘I don’t know why but I’m here’.

They entered the blackstone building, Y/n’s anxiety rising by the second at the sight of her older brother. They all sat in their designated spots.

After a moment of silence, Dream spoke, “Hello,” they all greeted him in return, some more hesitant than others, “Did you bring a book and quill?”

“We need the minute man,” Tubbo said. Y/n blinked in confusion until Ranboo came through the door holding a book and quill. She smiled nervously at him. She couldn’t tell, but Ranboo felt extremely guilty, she looked so uncomfortable, and he was the one who pushed her to go to that meeting.

Tubbo and Dream began discussing the possibility of Tommy being exiled and the walls, but Y/n zoned out when she heard Tommy breathing heavily next to her. She grabbed his hand to calm him, and it helped, but not great.

Dream began to say that Tommy couldn’t curse towards anyone and he lashed out at him, “You can’t silence my swearing you motherfucker!”

To which Y/n yanked his hand downwards and he groaned in pain, “Tommy you have to learn to shut the fuck up when you need to, okay?” She scolded him, he was like a brother to her, she didn’t want him to be exiled.

“Fine, jesus…” he breathed out. Y/n zoned out once again, for who knows how long, not noticing what was happening until Tommy started taking apart the table.

“Tommy what are you doing?! This is the exact opposite of what I just told you!” He ignored her still and stood on a makeshift podium.

“Dream, you idiot. You walk around all day, thinking you’re the shit. This isn’t some insanity thing, I’m not going down Wilbur’s path, I’m not getting exiled, because my friend, you have nothing of mine. But Dream, a long time ago, I got something of yours.”

“Tommy…” Y/n whispered, not loud enough for him to hear. She was scared, he had no idea what he was doing. Tubbo put a comforting hand onto her shoulder, “Tubbo, he doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

“It’s okay, Y/n,” she nodded slowly, she had no reason not to listen to Tubbo. She had no reason to not listen to anyone in the room, everyone had been there for her and helped her.

Tommy paced towards the enderchest, “Dream are you familiar with your old pet horse? What was its name, Dream?” Dream pulled out an axe and Y/n put her hand out to stop him but Tubbo pulled her back, and she melted into the slightly taller boy's arms. Her head rested on his shoulder as a few anxious tears fell from her face. He wasn't gonna let Dream kill Tommy, but if he couldn't prevent it, he sure as hell wouldn't let Y/n see it.

“Kill me all you want Dream, kill me all you want, what was it’s name?” Y/n seethed at the boy’s confidence that she used to admire before it got them into shitty situations like the one he was in now.

“I can’t it’s the holy ground,” Dream said. Y/n let go of Tubbo and turned around. His voice was uncharacteristically quiet. There was no way he still cared, he didn’t care about anything, even his sister, why would he care about a horse that died months ago?

“What was it’s name, Dream?”

There was a small moment of silence, “Spirit,” he stated. Y/n knew better, she knew he was only pretending to have trouble saying Spirit’s name, pretending to have trauma attached to that name. But she didn’t speak up about it. No one would believe her.

“Spirit, ‘Tommy confirmed,” Months ago, months ago, I retrieved Spirit’s remains, an item that means so very much to you. You don’t have anything on me anymore, not even the discs! And I’ve been holding onto this for so long. You have nothing on us anymore.”

“Tommy, you’re speaking out of line,” it pissed Y/n off when Tubbo spoke like a president, like he was more entitled than Tommy and her, even though he was more entitled. And he was correct, Tommy was speaking out of line. She wanted nothing more than to be with her friends without any issues, just like it was in the summer.

“I can speak out of line, what does he have on us, what does he have on us?!” Tommy repeated, not understanding why nobody else was contributing to his detestable words towards the man.

“He has the power to destroy our nation, you’re being selfish Tommy, you’re acting like the bad guy here,” Y/n had it up to here with Tubbo’s hurtful words towards Tommy, he was one of the most selfless people she knew even if he didn’t seem like it.

“No no, Tubbo, listen, he’s had my discs all this time, he’s had the high ground, but Spirit is the one thing he actually cares about, he doesn’t have anything on us, alright? As long as we speak to Skeppy and Purpled before him, which we can do easily, Tubbo, you have one of them, we’ll have all four discs!” Y/n looked up from the ground, was it truly that simple? Dream took her discs, wait and chirp when she fought alongside Tommy, Sapnap, and Tubbo that day.

“Everyone thinks I’m out of line, everyone thinks I’m being naive, no. Dream, you don’t have anything on me anymore. You don’t have the discs.”

“But he has shit on us!” Fundy argued.

“Tommy, what if I get it, Tommy? Right now I have nothing, but what if I get it?” Dream tried to threaten.

“Cause Dream, I can burn Spirit,” Dream visibly tensed at Tommy’s sheer lack of care, “Why is no one else freaking out right now?”

The room devolved into Quackity, Tubbo, Tommy and Fundy talking over each other, “Well Dream you don’t have anything on me, and I have Spirit on you. And this is the only item that means anything to you now, and it’s in my possession.”

While listening closely to Tommy venting to make sure he didn’t fuck up any more than he already had, Y/n made her way across the room over to Ranboo. He had his sunglasses off once more, and by looking closer she had noticed that his left sclera was black and his right was the normal white. His eyes also had a soft glow to them. She realized she had been staring at him and her face was quickly covered in a red hue as she muttered curses at herself, halfway hiding behind Ranboo and half hugging him from his side.

Ranboo looked down and smiled sadly, she was getting stressed again, he could tell by the way her hands were shaking slightly as they clasped together on the other side of his torso. She looked up at him, her breath feverish and her eyes moving around his face sporadically. He ran his hand through her hair, attempting to calm her down. He set his hand onto her shoulder since that always seemed to work more than other things. Her frantic breathing patterns had ceased, but her shaking stayed. He decided to leave her alone and let her hug him. Since that first time they had hugged each other, it seemed to be one of Y/n’s favourite things to do. Besides, he could always help her more later.

She shifted her focus onto the conversation happening elsewhere in the room, “Tommy, tell him what he has to do,” Fundy spoke, no longer wary of joining Tommy’s side.

“Dream. You’ve got to take down those walls,” Tommy ordered, Big Q and Fundy chuckling in delight, Dream had finally been put in his place. At least that’s how they viewed the situation, “Let’s go, we don’t need the holy land for protection anymore,”

“This is a really bad idea,” Y/n agreed with Tubbo, it was relieving to see her cruel older brother finally at everyone else’s level, but it was all a ruse. He didn’t care about Spirit. But she didn’t say anything about it. She loved seeing Tommy happy like this, but if she said anything while he was in this mood, he would either not listen or it would put him in an unbearably upset mood. She knew it would be apparent why she was so silent during the meeting in a few minutes regardless.

They all stood there just outside of L’manburg. Fundy and Quackity were just making fun of him, “Well Tommy- ugh,” Dream groaned in annoyance, knowing he couldn’t make a sufficient rebuttal, “Tommy, if I get a- grr,” Tommy made a surprised laugh, taking pride in the fact that Dream couldn’t do anything. Y/n scoffed and turned away back towards the direction of the museum. His difficulty speaking was patently fake, why was it just her that realized it? Her eyes became cold and dull to anyone who didn’t bother looking closer. She was so frustrated, she couldn’t do anything. Tommy and Tubbo are the only ones that ever took her seriously, but they’re both being arrogant.

She only turned back around towards the walls when she felt a hand on her shoulder, turning around to see Ranboo towering over her with a sweet, nervous smile. She returned it the best she could, and Ranboo snaked behind her. Y/n saw a small section of the walls being torn down by her brother and smiled a little. It wouldn’t last long, but when he wasn’t being unruly, it was nice to see Tommy proud of himself.

Dream stood still, before beginning to place back the obsidian that he had been forced to mine. Tommy, Fundy and Big Q were bewildered, Y/n looked guilty, and Tubbo was indifferent, they both knew it was bound to happen, “Y/n? Y/n you have a really guilty look on your face right now, did you do something?” Tommy asked very quickly, “Or- You knew that this was gonna happen. Didn’t you?”

She looked away with an even guiltier expression, laced with a sad smile as she watched her older brother build the walls even higher, “Why didn’t you say anything!? I would’ve stopped if you’d just say something!”

“Because I like seeing you happy,” Y/n sniffled, “and if I told you he didn’t actually care, you would either ignore me because you were being arrogant, or you would be upset. So I just didn’t say a thing,” Tommy looked at the girl with sad eyes as Dream jumped down from the walls in front of them.

“Tommy. Listen, you fucked up this time,” Tommy asked him not to swear, “No, Tommy. I don’t give a fuck about Spirit, I don’t give a fuck about anything actually, I care about the discs. I care more about your discs than you do! That’s the only thing I care about actually! I don’t care about Spirit, Spirit was my horse, died ages ago. I care about the discs, cause that’s what gives me power over you, your friends, and everybody that you care about because you care about the discs more than anyone else here. So if you are not exiled from L’manburg, I will build these walls until I can’t anymore! I will keep everybody inside, I will hire guards, Punz and Sapnap to patrol all around the walls keeping them inside. No trade, no one leaves, no armour or they get slaughtered inside,” Y/n was grinding her teeth against each other, Dream was pissing her off. They both had slight anger issues, like brother like sister, “Don’t try and threaten me! I don’t care, I have lost all care for anything in this world-”

“Really, so if I burn Spirit, right now, you wouldn’t care-”

“Burn Spirit, right in front of me right now!” That was it. Y/n couldn’t take any more of him yelling at Tommy, and she snapped. In one swift movement, she was in front of Dream, holding the flat of her gleaming netherite sword to his neck, effectively putting decent space between him and Tommy.

“Quit shouting at Tommy Clay!” She could only see one of his eyes from behind his cracked mask, but they told her everything she needed to know. He was taken aback, he seemed to have temporarily forgotten how much she cared about Tommy. She used his real name, that even she rarely used, and she only used it when she was beyond pissed. She wouldn’t hesitate to kill him if he tried anything, he knew that for sure. Despite being nearly a foot shorter than him, she was a threat to everyone if they pissed her off or hurt or offended someone she cares about. Dream’s eyes flicked over to Ranboo, someone else she seemed to care about a great deal, “Don’t you fucking dare,” she spat, knowing what that look meant.

“You wouldn’t kill me, you’re too-”

“I would,” she said simply, with a sick smile, “I would kill you. Half those discs are mine too, I couldn’t care less if you lost one, or two, or all three of your lives.”

“Well this is the only thing you’ve had attachment to this entire time, how do I know you aren’t fucking lying?” Tommy stated shakily.

“I have an attachment to you and Y/n’s discs.”

“What- Why would you care about them, they’re ours, why do you even care about them?”

“No no no, Tommy, they’re my discs,” the edge of Y/n’s blade pressed further against his neck, just a bit more pressure and it would puncture his skin, “I’ll get them, I’ll keep them, and I’ll put them in my enderchest for the rest of your lives. Listen Tubbo,” Y/n took her sword away from his neck and walked back towards Ranboo only to be engulfed in a hug. She faced the scene while leaning her back into his chest (or waist? I don’t fucking know he’s too tall. ribcage?). “You have three days. If you don’t exile him in three days, I’ll do what I said.”

“What does that entail, what the fuck do you mean?” Tommy asked.

“L’manburg can be independent, but L’manburg can’t be free,” Dream answered simply. Dream stopped talking and immediately went to raise the walls.

“Tommy you had one job. You had one job. To be positive, to be peaceful. And you messed it up,” Tubbo criticised.

“You fucked up,” Quackity whispered, “You really fucked this up now Tommy-”

“No this is on you two as well!” Tubbo shouted at Fundy and Quackity, and they all argued for a moment while Tommy just stood there, watching Dream build up the walls, bewildered at what had just occurred. Y/n huffed at the sight, Ranboo just held her tighter to his chest.

“Tubbo he’s only doing this so he can get under your skin to get you to turn on me,” Tommy tried to tell him but he wouldn’t listen.

“No, he’s very clearly doing this to get the discs, cause he wants them.”

“You guys are idiots, he wants Tommy as far away from L’manburg as possible, while also getting the discs to gain control of Tommy and I,” Y/n affirmed quickly. They both turned towards the girl who was rested in Ranboo’s arms, that was standing behind Tubbo, both giving her a baffled look, “What? You guys didn’t realize that?” Her face was covered in blush as she realized how weird it must look to them that out of nowhere Ranboo and her were so comfortable with each other within less than a week of him being here when it took her at least a month to hug even Tommy. She exhaled in relief when they turned away, but also grief when they started arguing.

“You couldn’t do one thing for me, Tommy! And it was for your own good! So you know what, if the roles were reversed as you said, yeah, you probably wouldn’t have exiled me, because I would’ve actually listened to you and done what you said! And maybe had a couple ounces of respect! You’ve messed this up for no one but yourself,” There was an agonizing silence after Tubbo’s line, but as much as it angered Y/n seeing Tommy pushed around, it was the painstaking truth. Tommy had no one to blame but himself and Dream, “It’s selfish.”

“I’m gonna say it now,” Big Q sighed, “What’s happened has happened, there’s no going back. What do we do next?”

“We have three days-”

“Tubbo-” Tommy started.

“I don’t want to exile you, okay?!” Tubbo yelled.

“This whole war, all of this, L’manburg, everything. This has started way before L’manburg, me you and Y/n versus Dream. This can’t be where we split now, you can’t- it’s always been us three, man, we can’t- C’mon, please, you-,” Y/n zoned out until Ranboo spoke up for Tommy.

“Tubbo, you said that Tommy was selfish. You said that Tommy doesn’t care about anyone else, well that’s not true. I robbed George’s house too. I did it with Tommy. But in court, he said that it was just him. He could’ve pinned the blame on me, there was evidence that it was me. But he didn’t. He’s not selfish. Me and Tommy robbed George’s house, we didn’t mean for it to burn. We didn’t mean to burn anything down.”

“Tommy, is this true?”

“Yeah. It is.”

“He covered for me. He’s not selfish. Calling him selfish after what he did, I’ve only been on here for about five days, is it? That’s not selfish. Tommy isn’t selfish-”

“Ranboo, stop,” Y/n said, no longer leaning into him but standing up on her own with his arms around her, “Stop trying to pretend like I wasn’t there too.”

“Why didn’t we question Y/n? She’s always the one who causes most of the damn fires around here anyway,” Big Q said.

“You didn’t even think about it? The girl who’s nickname is literally firebug? I didn’t burn it down, and neither did Tommy or Ranboo. I simply burned a tree, went back to George’s home and the outside was burning. Both Tommy and Ranboo were inside, there was no way they could’ve started it,” she left out a few details, of course, but it wasn’t like they could fact check it.

“Tubbo I’ve put the discs aside for so long, I think for once, now that Wilbur’s gone, now that the dictator, the man who has exiled us before, Schlatt, is gone. Tubbo you can’t turn into what you hate. You can’t be the next Schlatt. If you exile me, you’re following in that mans footsteps.”

“Well, as long as I can’t be the next Schlatt, you can’t be the next Wilbur,” Y/n’s eyes narrowed, he really had the audacity to compare Tommy to Wilbur. Quackity started talking and she left, she’d had enough of her brother’s bullshit for one day.

OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY I HAVEN’T UPDATED IN NEARLY A MONTH! I’ve been meaning to write but this chapter was especially difficult. I probably updated too quick in the beginning, giving out chapters every two or three days like they were candy. I’ll probably start updating around once a week. Also if anyone would like to draw fanart for this book that would be very pog, my discord is in my bio!

#ranboo #ranboo x reader #mcyt #dream smp #mcyt x reader #dream smp x reader

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owl-with-a-pen · 4 years ago

Note

I would love to see a Valentine’s Day chapter with Brainy and nia. We didn’t get to see much of it on that one episode, beside that fact Brainy went to her party and gave her chocolates that Yvette ate later. Just a simple one where Brainy is super sweet and asks nia to be his valentine wether this is before or after they’re together. Thanks!

Anon also asked: Hi there! would you ever think of doing a valentine's themed fic for brania? I miss them so much and I love your work!

- I know I’m a day late, but I hope you guys enjoy! Thanks for the prompts x

Valentine’s Day was going to be weird this year, Nia knew it.

After everything Brainy had been through over the last few months, the last thing Nia wanted was to push the most commercial of commercial holidays on him, especially considering they’d never actually had a Valentine’s Day together. She couldn’t exactly count the epic failure that had been their first Valentine’s party on account of the fact that they hadn’t seen each other the whole night.

And, last year?

There was no use sugar coating it; they’d both been going through hell last year. The break-up had still been fresh in Nia’s mind and although Kara had tried to help her out of the funk she’d been in, Nia had still spent the whole day curled up on the sofa - her only hot date that night had been with an ice cold tub of Ben and Jerry’s.

Now that Nia understood the reason behind their break-up, she knew that Brainy hadn’t been faring any better than her at the time, either. The only thing he’d had to keep his mind occupied were the asinine tasks Lex had kept him performing as placeholders whenever a new piece of his plan had yet to unfold.

Nia tried not to linger on that year. What mattered now was that the truth was finally out. Brainy was safe and healthy and, most importantly, he was finally starting to feel like himself again.

Nia didn’t care that Brainy hadn’t so much as made mention of the holiday – not even after Kara had invited them to a lowkey Valentine’s get together at her place later that evening, an invitation that had only been extended as far as the Super Friends. Considering Brainy had been reluctant to hang out with everyone as a group since Leviathan, Nia was only glad that he’d wanted to go at all. Besides, she didn’t care about gifts or celebrations, she was just thankful to put the past behind her and finally have Brainy back in her life.

Which was why she was all the more surprised to open their apartment door that evening and find Brainy stood on the other side, a bunch of roses held tightly in one hand.

A grin lit up Nia’s face in an instant. “Hey,” she said, not even trying to hide the glee from her voice. “Are those for me?”

“Indeed,” Brainy said, taking a step forward. In the same motion, he removed his other hand from behind his back, revealing a heart shaped box of chocolates. “I – uh – appreciate we have never successfully completed a Valentine’s Day tradition before, so allow this to be the first.”

Nia didn’t think she could smile any harder if she tried. She took the flowers from Brainy, the fresh scent of their petals brushing against her nose as she brought them to her face. She felt a blush race across her cheeks. “Real flowers, huh?” she asked mischievously.

Brainy’s lips quirked into a small smile of his own. “That is the custom,” he said, offering the chocolate box out to her with a practiced flourish. “As is this.” He cleared his throat, raising his chin. “Nia Nal, will you be my Valentine?”

A blush flooded across Nia’s face as she grinned again, nodding hard. “Yes, Brainy, of course I’ll be your Valentine.” She accepted the chocolates from Brainy’s hand, juggling them along with the flowers until they were both cradled in one arm.

“This is amazing,” she said honestly, closing the space between them so that she could hug him with her free arm. She ducked her face into Brainy’s shoulder, squeezing him tight.

The warmth of him spread through her face as she buried her head into his throat. A moment later, she could feel Brainy’s hands travelling around her waist, pressing firmly against the small of her back. His touch sent something electric dancing up Nia’s spine and she softened against him, pulling away just enough to press a kiss against his lips.

When they parted, Nia didn’t miss the elated glimmer behind Brainy’s eyes. It was such a soft expression, one that hadn’t adorned Brainy’s face for so long, Nia had almost begun to forget what it looked like. Now that Brainy had begun to relax into himself, that happiness had become far more commonplace, although it still warmed Nia’s heart whenever she got to see that expression and know that she was the cause of it. Impetuously, Nia reached for Brainy’s face, brushing her thumb along his jaw, hoping to preserve that smile for as long as possible.

She blinked suddenly, realising belatedly that they were still stood in the middle of the doorway. “I should really put these in water,” she said, hugging the flowers against her side. She ushered Brainy inside with her free hand, turning to the kitchen to find a vase. “And by the way,” she continued over her shoulder, placing the heart-shaped box on the closest counter, “this isn’t technically the first time you’ve bought me a Valentine’s gift.”

Nia didn’t need to turn her head to know the face Brainy was pulling. “Ah, yes,” he murmured apprehensively. “Although, I wouldn’t say our first Valentine’s Day necessarily went… according to plan.”

“Oh, I remember,” Nia said, selecting an empty glass vase from the top shelf. She headed to the faucet, filling it with water. When she glanced up, she found Brainy watching her from across the kitchen counter, his arms folded across its surface. She smirked. “Didn’t you spend most of that party hidden in my closet?”

Brainy offered a tight smile, ducking his head. “Yvette was certainly a force to be reckoned with,” he admitted lowly, glancing up at her. “Although, I do appreciate you talking with her about boundaries.”

Nia’s expression softened. “Any time.”

She’d known Yvette hadn’t meant to take Brainy out of his comfort zone by dragging him to the dancefloor that night. Considering Nia had made herself MIA for most of that party – a party she’d specifically invited Brainy to - Yvette had only wanted for him to feel included.

But, the party hadn’t been Brainy’s thing to begin with. She’d left him to his own devices in a room otherwise filled with strangers, and maybe at the time she hadn’t realised just how anxious Brainy got in those sorts of situations, but she knew better now. Still, it didn’t stop her from feeling all kinds of crappy that she’d allowed that to happen, even if her head hadn’t totally been in the game at the time.

Nia played with the roses’ arrangement in their new home, spreading them equally around the vase. She sighed. “I didn’t exactly make that night any easier for you, though.”

“You had a lot on your mind,” Brainy said softly.

Yeah, Nia thought. She’d been so obsessed with finally making strides towards her role as a hero, taking up the mantle her mom had so proudly left for her, she’d even dismissed Brainy’s incredibly sweet gesture the first time around, disregarding his gift of chocolates in favour of a new training regime. But, not anymore. This time, they were doing this right.

“Well,” she said decisively, setting the vase to the side, “right now, my mind’s totally clear.” She glanced again towards the box of chocolates, biting the inside of her cheek. “C’mon,” she said, snatching them from the counter. “We can share these.”

As she walked around the breakfast bar, she took Brainy’s arm, urging him towards the sofa. Brainy followed curiously a pace behind her.

As Nia settled, tucking her legs beneath her, she popped open the box, reading the label on the inside. She grinned. “There’s coffee flavour ones in here, too? Okay, I take back what I just said. We can share any except for those.”

Brainy supressed an obvious shudder as he sat down. “They are… all yours.”

“What?” Nia prodded playfully, nudging his arm. “Not a fan?”

Brainy wrinkled his nose, gesturing vaguely ahead of himself. “I just don’t understand how two opposing flavours serve to compliment one another.”

“Oh, and yet apples and olives are just… a natural choice on pizza,” Nia scoffed.

“Either one would be far more palatable covered in chocolate.”

Nia rolled her eyes. “Hey, I’ll agree with you about the apples,” she said, already perusing the selection, trying to find the coffee flavoured truffle as advertised on the card. “But, I’m pretty sure chocolate covered olives are a crime against nature.” She beamed when she found her prize, taking a large bite out of the candy. When Brainy’s face scrunched in disgust, she laughed, covering her mouth before any wayward chocolate dribbled out.

She held the chocolates out on her lap for Brainy to browse, which only fuelled the next twenty minutes’ topic of discussion with good natured jabs aimed towards each other’s preferred chocolate flavours.

By the time they needed to head out for Kara’s party, the first layer had been all but demolished.

“We should probably get going,” Nia said as she spied the time on the kitchen clock. She pecked Brainy’s cheek before unfurling herself from his side, stretching out her arms.

When she stood, she realised that Brainy hadn’t followed her up. Instead, there was a reserved look in his eyes, a nervous twist to his lips as he remained sat on the sofa’s edge, toying absently with his Legion ring.

“Brainy?” Nia asked, her voice softening. When Brainy looked up, she smiled gently. “Everything okay?”

Brainy opened his mouth as though he might answer, but instead, no words came out. Nia sat back down, resting her hand on his leg. “Hey, you sure you’re up for this? You know there’s no pressure.”

Brainy shook himself a little, clenching and unclenching his hand hesitantly. “I do,” he said carefully, glancing back towards her. “I am. It’s just…”

“I get it,” Nia said, squeezing his leg. And, she did. Even though the gathering would be small, filled with the people Brainy cared about, on some level, Nia understood that that was what he was dreading the most. As much as he knew that his friends had forgiven him, the real issue was that Brainy hadn’t yet reached a place where he’d been able to forgive himself. It’d come in time, but if he refused every get-together or social gathering entirely, it’d only take him that much longer to reach the obvious conclusion.

That he was loved. And that was never going to change.

And, hey, what better time to remind him of that than on Valentine’s Day?

“I’ll be with you the whole time,” Nia assured him. “And, if you’re not feeling it, we don’t have to stay for long. What d’you say?”

After a long moment’s consideration, Brainy glanced down, taking Nia’s hand. He smiled, a little of his confidence returning as he nodded his head. “Okay,” he said.

Nia grinned. “Okay.”

Maybe she’d been wrong, maybe Valentine’s wasn’t going to feel as weird this year. After all, with flowers, chocolate, and finally having the chance to spend the day with Brainy at her side, Nia realised that maybe this might turn out to be the best Valentine’s Day she’d ever had.

#supergirl #my writing #my prompts #icey-slice #brainia #nia nal #brainiac 5 #querl dox #brainy #i did plan to post this yesterday but i ended up just not having the time #but hey! better late than never amiright

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theoriginalladya · 3 years ago

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A while ago - I've lost track just how long, a few months? A couple of years? Just, 'a while' - someone asked me why I write fanfiction. "You put so much effort into it, so much time. Why? You treat it like a job, but what's the point? Why not write original content and get paid for it?"

For the past week or so, I've been thinking about this question. Why do I spend so much time writing about characters I've created in my head from a video game, having them go through all sorts of adventures, journeys, fluff and angst, etc.?

(under cut for length because apparently, I have things to say lol)

As I work my way through to the end of what I think is possibly the best fic I've written since getting back to writing twenty-five years ago, I may finally have an answer. Yes, it involves the love of the craft, one I might add for which I have very little professional training. Yes, it is for the characters, many of whom partake in adventures unlike anything I could dream up on my own. They live and learn and love in ways I can barely get down on paper to express them as vividly as I see inside my head. Yes, I use them as a way to work out my own troubles or issues - a personal sort of therapy that most people probably don't even know about.

Using a world that already exists, created by others, may be viewed as a cop out, but it is also a 'safe space,' one in which I can experiment, 'play in the sandbox' if you will. It gives me an easy way to access side characters I've fallen in love with who I don't have to create on my own, with lore and history all of its own. Creating a whole world from scratch? That's HARD! I know, I've tried it several times!

The most important part of this, the reason that I invest in very nice pens and notebooks, why I will spend HOURS going off on a tangent while researching, the reason I create playlist after playlist in the hopes of finding that one song that will speak to me for a character/chapter/story, is so I can write the story that I WANT TO READ.

Don't get me wrong: I'm thrilled that others like my drabblings and read them, that some even find them enjoyable enough to share with others. I love every person who takes the time to read and leave me a kudos or a comment on the fic or in their reblogs/tags, or drop me an ask about them.

But when it comes right down to it, my audience for my stories is myself. Yes, I do go back and reread them. Constantly. Why? Because I enjoy them. They are the story I've wanted to read since the idea (sometimes even before it fully takes shape) popped into my head. No one else can write it but me. What is it Mordin says in Mass Effect 3? Someone else might have gotten it wrong. Well, maybe not 'wrong' in this sense, but it wouldn't be the story I wanted if I didn't write it.

Now, do I feel like a hack at times? Oh, hell yes! Of course! I was trained to research and write history, not fiction. Everything I know about writing fiction has come from practicing, reading, knowing others who do the same, and adapting tricks of the trade over the past twenty-five years. But, each day, I learn something new that can helps my writing become that much better.

Do I still have more to learn? Absolutely. If anything, LEARNING is my lifetime profession. Most of that comes from actively writing, of daring to share my characters, my plots, my ideas with the public at large. Changing up styles, risking everything on a new plot idea, developing a character on a whim in response to an ask that was left in my Inbox. All of that is a learning process, an adventure of the greatest sort.

Will I ever be completely satisfied with myself as a writer? Probably not - you should see me panic when I reread stuff I've already shared and I find a type in it! But every time I try something new, every time I screw up my courage to push beyond my comfort zone, as scary as it might be, I find success of some sort. Either success at the endeavor itself, or success at having tried (and possibly failed) at it. But you know what? That's okay - failing is a part of learning, too. Figuring out strengths, weaknesses, areas for improvement. It took me HALF MY LIFE to figure that out and fully accept it, but I really, truly believe it.

So, as I sit here, finishing up another editing run on this story that has come to mean so much to me - and it SHOULD, dammit! I've been trying to do a version of it for the past... *counts on fingers* nine years! - making my characters look and act the best that they can be on paper, terrified of sharing it in another month or so, yet bouncing so hard in my chair that I might just fall out if I can't share it, even though I'm very nervous about the last chapter because it's one of those 'out of the comfort zone' chapters, I remind myself that MY measure of success is determined by one thing: AM I SATISFIED WITH IT.

And my answer?

I am as satisfied with it as I can be right now, at this stage in my writing life, and that is more than enough. And, since I am my own worst critic, that'll do.

#ladya writes #on writing #my opinions

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jbarness · 4 years ago

Text

huh, that's new

a social media au

[27: news]

warnings: language, "pregnancy"?? uhh idk what else hehehe

a/n: this is a pretty long chapter i think? (2000+ words) im very nervous about this chapter cause its kinda a big deal asdfghjk anyways, please please please tell me what you think about this! and ik this idea is very odd HAHAHAHA but what else would you expect from two dumbasses named bucky and y/n? hehehe i really hope you enjoy this chapter!! ♡

flashback is italicized

huh, that's new - masterlist

You wanted to laugh so badly.

For some reason, your housemates are panicking over who the hell set this gender reveal party up in the living room.

It was you. With the help of Bucky of course.

Natasha and Wanda have been shouting “I’m not pregnant, I think you are!” to each other for about 10 minutes now. Steve decided that he needed answers too, so he joined in the shouting. Pietro’s talking to his camera, probably vlogging the whole thing. Peter’s talking on the phone with MJ asking if she set this up. Sam’s the only one enjoying the food. Bucky was looking at you from across the room, keeping the smile from forming on his face.

Just about an hour or so ago, you and Bucky were just setting the whole thing up. Bucky was pushing the table to the living room when you arrived with the cake. You placed the rest of the blue and pink food on the table along with other decorations. There were many variations of food, but the cupcakes that have toppers that said: “Here for the Sex” were Bucky’s personal favorite despite not knowing how they taste. The balloons were still lifeless when both of you hung the streamers on the walls with the banner that matched the topper of the cupcakes. After finally finding the balloon pump, blue and pink balloons filled the living room. Some were on the floor while you hung the others on the wall. When you were content with the appearance of the room, you and Bucky went your separate ways.

You got the idea of throwing a gender reveal party when you were working at the diner one evening. “You’ll be at the gender reveal party next week right?” the woman at the booth asked her friend. “Of course, Jill asked me to pick up the cake,” Her friend says. When you got the idea, you thought it was silly, so you dismissed it. Later on, you thought of more ideas and details to add, then in a blink of an eye, you were in the bakery, asking the baker if they can make a three-layered cake of your favorite flavor with the inside colored blue.

“Maybe P set this all up for a prank again?” Nat looked at Pietro who was filming the whole thing. “Just because I have a channel that doesn’t mean I always prank!” Pietro said, turning off his camera.

Steve sighed, “Okay, one by one. Nat and I were the first ones here, but it was all here already when we arrived. Wanda was the next one here, she was in the bookstore the whole morning. Bucky and Sam were next and they only came here because he saw the Instagram story of Nat. Pietro and Peter came home today from LA and Peter from Tony’s. Lastly, Y/N came home from the cafe,” everyone nodded.

After a couple of minutes of silence, you couldn’t handle it anymore, “Okay, I can’t do it. I give up. It was me. I set this up,” you laughed.

“But why Y/N?” Peter gasped, “Are you pregnant?”

Everyone’s eyes were on you now. Natasha’s eyes widened, “Wait, who’s the father?”

Bucky was laughing internally, you could tell. He wasn’t looking at you anymore, he turned around to look at the window. You could see his shoulders slightly shaking, he’s definitely laughing. Good thing the attention wasn’t on him. “I uhh… I don’t know,” you said. You technically haven't met Bucky's dad, you were being honest.

“Doesn’t matter, my sweet Y/N! We’ll support you and help you. Anything you need” Sam swallowed the macaroon whole before going to you and hugging you tightly.

“I know you will.” In less than a minute, you were trapped in the middle of the group hug.

“Why didn’t you say anything sooner? We would’ve known the gender by now!” Pietro said as the group untangled from the hug.

You laughed, “I was enjoying the show.”

“Well, come on! I wanna know if my godchild is a boy or a girl!” Wanda yelled excitedly and went to the kitchen to grab the knife.

Bucky walked towards you before you could join the others who are now gathered at the table, waiting for plates and the knife. “I’m tellin’ ya, doll, they’re gonna be frustrated at us,” he said. You shrugged, “They already are.”

Wanda handed you the knife to cut the cake. Everyone took out their phones to take a video of the “soon-to-be-mother”. You were trying very hard not to laugh at this point and so was Bucky, who was taking a video of his friends’ reactions to what they’re about to say.

You sliced a triangle on one side of the cake and pulled it out, showing blue. “Oh my God! It’s a boy!” Peter yelled, jumping around with Pietro. Sam and Steve took turns hugging you and they were later pushed aside by Wanda and Nat. “I’m happy for you, hun I am, but I really hope that a girl comes out of you,” Natasha said while hugging you and Wanda tightly.

You cleared your throat, catching everyone’s attention, “It’s actually a Bucky” you said, nonchalantly.

“Bucky?” Wanda pulled away slightly from the hug, making Nat do the same. “A Bucky? As in it’s Bucky’s baby?” Steve asked, wide-eyed, obviously excited, looking at Bucky who is now looking back at you, covering his mouth with his hands, to keep himself from laughing.

“I meannnnn… Bucky... is my... baby,” you said while extending your arm, inviting Bucky to come closer, which he did.

Peter was still confused and it shows, “You’re Bucky’s mom?” he asked, making Pietro smack his head, “Pete, it means they’re dating... Right?”

Both you and Bucky nodded, “We are.”

“Oh my God! Fucking finally! I was starting to think you’ll never tell each other how you feel! Do you know how frustrated you two made me?” Sam yelled, throwing a pillow at Bucky.

Natasha was yelling “I fucking knew it! I told you so!” repeatedly to her boyfriend while Wanda kept pinching both your and Bucky’s cheeks saying, “CUTIESSS!”

You looked at Bucky, “they don’t look frustrated” you said which made Bucky roll his eyes and smile. Both of you laughed when you saw Steve silently saying “Yes! My ship!” Either that or something about shit.

“Calm your asses. Now, this party isn’t just for us to announce that we’re together. This is also a party for Natty and Steve. Sorta like the part one of the roomies night we’re gonna have” you said, looking at the couple.

“Thank you, Y/N, but I don’t wanna think about moving right now. What I do want is for you two to give us the fucking details about how you two finally got together” Nat said, making everyone agree and sit down and get comfortable in the living room.

Bucky cleared his throat and looked on his left, where you sat. “It happened the night that her friend came to the city.”

☆

To say you were excited for tonight was an understatement.

Last night, you already picked out the clothes you wanted to wear tonight. It was simple, really, just a pair of jeans and the most comfortable hoodie you owned. Or should you go with a plain sweater instead? Printed shirt? Oversized shirt? Your grey sweatpants? They look comfortable. Or your black ones?

You ended up with your first choice.

Wanda and Nat noticed how upbeat and cheery you were the whole day. It wasn’t exactly like you to be this happy at 7 am. You cooked a lot more food than usual and you haven’t even had your coffee yet. “Maria’s in the city today!” was the only excuse you thought of every time they asked you. You had some errands to do that day, its something you find really boring and exhausting but you found yourself skipping to the bank. Skipping, not walking.

At the tower, Bucky was a nervous wreck. He couldn’t focus much on what he was doing. He would zone out and forget what he was typing, then he remembered he wasn’t typing at all, he was fixing a floor plan. Sam being Sam, noticed how Boinky was acting. He kept teasing Bucky about being distracted while Steve kept asking him to stop. “What’s up with you, Buck? What’s making you zone out?” Steve asked, giving Bucky some water. Bucky just shrugged and continued whatever the hell he was doing.

The evening came too fast for Bucky and too slow for you. You got home, got dressed to meet with Maria for dinner before seeing Bucky. When Bucky got home, he changed into something more casual and fixed himself at his bathroom. “Tell her tonight, you fucking idiot,” he told himself, looking at the mirror before grabbing his helmet and his old helmet that you proclaimed yours when you were hanging out before. He smiled at the memory then remembered that Dot never even got to see his motorcycle. Huh.

He picked you up at the hotel that Maria was staying at. In a few minutes, you were at the bar that you two used to go to. You two bought a couple of drinks before going to the spot - your spot. You almost forgot how beautiful it was there, especially at night.

“After tonight, you’ll only have one night of free drinks, use it wisely,” Bucky said, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, I’ll have to find another way to have free drinks from you,” you joked.

He looked at you, “You can just ask, you know? You don’t have to blackmail me,” he smiled.

You laughed for a moment and it became silent once again. It felt... awkward. You two were seated a couple of inches away from each other, the closest you two have been since you avoided each other, but you wanted to get away. You remembered the last time you were here, in this exact same spot. Drinking the alcohol of your choice, laughing with Bucky, talking about your high school selves. Many things have changed since then. It feels so weird and new to you, sitting next to someone you genuinely like, your friend. You took a deep breath and stopped thinking.

“I like you, did you know that?” you said out of the blue making Bucky wonder if he was just imagining it and he was just hearing things. He stayed silent, deciding that it was just his mind saying that cause that was what he wanted to hear.

You turned to Bucky, waiting for his reaction. Nothing. “Buck?” he turned and looked at you as if he hadn’t heard you. “I like you,” you said once again only this time, it was louder and clearer.

“You like me?” Bucky asked, finding it hard to believe for some reason. “Like, you like-like me?” You nodded, smiling at his creased eyebrows and slightly tilted face, like a confused puppy. You almost didn’t notice how your heart is beating quickly as if it wanted to jump out of your chest. It was taking Bucky too long to reply, and that made you anxious. All you wanted was to take it back and change what you said. You should’ve said “I’d really like to go back to being close friends” or maybe ask him why he avoided you or somethi--

“Did Wanton ask you to tell this to me?” he asked with an accusative tone. “No, why would I agree to that? Even if I did, I’d only agree to say something like that if I really meant it,” your voice getting louder every word.

“So it’s true? You like me? Romantic styles?” You nodded, slightly annoyed that he would think that you would play with his feelings. “Yes, it’s no big deal. I just wanted to tell you, I don’t expect you to like me back. I just- I want you to--”

"I like you too. Romantic styles," he said holding your hand. "That was why I set you up with Loki, why I avoided you after that and why I was avoiding you until you invited me to join you and Pietro. I kinda got a bit… slightly, sort of jealous so I agreed to go with you."

"Wait, hold on, you like me... and you... set me up with Loki? I don't get it"

"I like you and… That doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that you’re happy, and I'll do anything to make you happy,” he said, offering you a small smile.

☆

"Then we kissed and… yeah,” you smiled at your friends’ faltered smiles.

Sam stood up, “Why was everything else so detailed and the kiss was just ‘then we kissed’? What’s that about?” He said, grabbing more food from the table. "And, I fucking told you so, Boinks!"

Bucky rolled his eyes, “Do you wanna hear how I kissed her softl-”

“Excuse me?” You said, raising your eyebrows at your boyfriend. “I kissed you, and it wasn’t soft”

“Y/N stop saying soft!” Peter shouted, covering his ears.

Wanda wiggled her eyebrows, "You didn't come home that night, hun."

"Yeah, I invited her to my place, we had some wine and we just talked for the rest of the night. Nothing happened. Okay? After talking we just slept. That's it,” Bucky defended.

Steve kept nodding his head, “Hence the Instagram story, mhmm, mhmm. Alright.”

“Whatever happened that night, I’m glad it did. And, I’m really really reallyyyyy happy for you, dumbasses,” Nat laughed.

Peter walked to you, “I’m happy for you too, sis. But please, don’t get detailed with… you know. I don’t need to know that.” You laughed, holding his hand. “And Bucky, if you ever hurt my sister, I’ll hunt you down and beat you up,” Peter looked at Bucky squinting his eyes, trying to look intimidating, which made Bucky laugh.

You looked at Bucky, “He’s serious. And very strong. He gave Steve bruises when they were boxing at the gym.” Bucky looked at Steve who was nodding.

“O-oh”

☆

taglist:

@intovert-gone-wild @jbb-bucky0310 @jessicakimba @mariachiii @essenceproxima @cazslaughter @eldahae @rororo06 @bonkyboinkybucky @a-hopeless-fan @danosaurushowell @hannibal-lecters-bitch @ceeellewrites @divainthesun @kseniiafirebrace @k-n-e @adriannajackson @connorhoez @fanfuckingtastic04 @cherthegoddess @captain-america5 @onlyjamesbuchananbarnes @writerwrites @lovinnholland @softboibarnes

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catracorner962 · 4 years ago

Text

Beautiful Children Ch. 2

Warning this chapter contains a flashback with both Adora and Catra being abused physically, emotionally and mentally! If you do not want to read this feel free to skip the all italicized flashbacks. Sections are broken up by "---" marks at the center. Skip these sections if that abuse is not something you want to read. Adora's flashback starts with "E...everyone accounted for?" and Catra's starts with "Catra bit her tail, stifling a sob."

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“Let me get this straight,” Glimmer rubbed her temples. “Catra found a baby? And no one on this ship has claimed it as there’s?”

Adora nodded, holding the little infant to her. It has ceased crying and finally slept in the poorly made swaddle Bow had fashioned for it.

“Not one person?” The queen demanded.

“Honey,” Bow consoled from his place in the captain’s chair. He put the ship on auto-pilot and put an arm on his wife’s shoulder. Glimmer relaxed a little under this touch but eyed Adora sharply.

“And where is she now?”

“Who?”

“Catra!” Glimmer suppressed a hiss of irritation.

“Oh, she’s….she’s helping Perfuma and Frosta make people comfortable.” Adora couldn’t help a swell of pride in her chest.

“She is?!” Bow visibly gushed, “that’s sooo...cute!”

“Bow! Can we get back to the matter at hand?”

Bow nodded, regaining his composure though he glanced at Adora, beaming.

“You found a baby, and it doesn't belong to anyone here?”

Adora glanced down at the sleeping thing, baby, kitten, kit? What were baby magicats called? It’s little mouth puckered, sucking on nothing but hope for some milk. Her chest warmed, watching it sleep and gurgle. She held the kitten closer to her.

“No, I went around and asked twice. So did Catra, it doesn’t have any parents.”

“It’s parent’s mustive….” Bow’s look of joy diminished for a moment, “must’ve died in the bombs or…” he didn’t finish the sentence but Adora knew, her stomach churning with disgust.

They could’ve been chipped by the Brotherhood, we could’ve killed them….

Her fingers tightened around the blanket that held the baby.

“...and Catra said it’s a magicat? Like her?”

Glimmer asked more quietly, coming around to peer at the sleeping infant. Her face turned up in the slightest of smiles.

“She didn’t but it must be. It’s got ears and tail just like her.”

Glimmer reached out, touching one hand to its smooth cheek. A little too hollow for what should be a pudgy baby, but still adorable.

“How old do you think it is?” Bow asked, leaning over Glimmer to get a better look. Adora shrugged, adjusting the baby in her arms. It stirred, all three of them holding a collective breath. They watched in suspense, as it’s face scrunched up, brows furrowing. A short little mewl escaped it’s mouth before it settled back down, snorting a little and finally falling to silence.

It’s so cute, so precious. Poor thing.

She leaned down and placed a kiss upon its forehead, inhaling the smell of the battlefield and still somehow fresh life. Destruction and birth. Adora shuttered. Looking down at that new face, so oblivious to everything around it, content in sleep. Thick blonde eyelashes, pink little lips, perfect small brows, each finger curled into a little fist, it’s...

“Catra! There you are, get in here!”

Adora looked up, sucked from a daydream.

“We got any more food in this joint?” Catra glanced at Adora and made a beeline for one of the storage units in the cockpit.

“Catra,” Glimmer raced after her, grabbing her by the shoulders all but dragging her over. “This baby is it? Is it like you? A magicat? What do they eat, how old is it?”

Catra blinked, face drawn. Her eyes flicked from Adora, to the baby and back to Glimmer. She glared, folding her arms across her chest.

“There weren’t exactly any other magicats in the Horde!”

Adora watched her visibly flinch and moved to stand beside her wife. Holding the baby with one arm and putting a hand to the small of Catra’s back with the other. She stiffened but didn’t shy away.

“I just thought, since you are one….” Glimmer pressed, leaning closer to an ever flustered Catra,

“You would know! What they drink, how much sleep they need, how long they stay with their parents after birth?”

“Fuck should I know Sparkles?!” Catra’s tail bristled, “my parents abandoned me when I was a baby! Dumped me outside the Fright Zone in a fucking box. They didn’t want me and I don’t want anything to do with them! I don’t know shit about magicats and I honestly don’t fucking care alright?! Now where do you keep the extra food, we have people out there who need it!”

This baby needs someone to take care of it… . Adora thought

Glimmer stumbled backward, Catra’s ears pinned to the side of her head as she strode forward rummaging.

“It’s, it’s okay,” Adora began slowly, swaying from side to side as the baby slept. “We just...we’re trying to get more information so we can take care of it,” she reasoned, smiling looking at the little thing sleeping in her arms.

Catra stood stick straight, ears pricking up.

“Take care of it?”

Bow looked between them,

“What...what else are we supposed to do?” Glimmer asked quietly.

“Take it back to Etheria!” Adora announced.

“Leave it there!” Catra huffed.

Bow, Glimmer, and Adora snapped around, eyes wide. Adora swallowed her shocked gasp, adjusting the baby to lay against her chest, instinctively closer. Bow’s eyes nearly bulged from his head. Glimmer’s lips only tightened. Though the ship moved gracefully through the sky, everything else seemed to go still.

“.....L...leave it there?” Adora recovered lamley.

“But we already took off,” Bow offered, nervous, “we can’t turn around and leave it there on an abandoned planet.”

“Are you crazy?” Glimmer demanded deadpan. Catra snorted, pulling out tins of perishable food from the storage cabinet. They could be put into the re-hydrater in the kitchen and served in no time.

“We’ll find the nearest habitable planet and leave it there.”

Before Adora could retort the magicat turned on her nimble heel, arms full of food and punched the door lock with her elbow, all without sparing a glance at the little baby in her wife’s arms.

They exchanged a look after the door slid shut.

“Well….whatever we do with it, we better figure out fast. We’ll be back in Brightmoon by this time tomorrow,” Bow answered reviewing the flight map.

Adora mustered a nod, her heart sinking with pity at the little baby smooshed against her. It’s warmth radiated, the feel of it’s small form against her’s. Fluffy and light, so….trusting and pure somehow. Innocent.

She kissed the top of its golden head again, relishing in the touch. She closed her eyes,

Calm.

Serenity.

“Adora?...Adora! Earth to Adora!”

“AAAhh!” Adora screamed, Glimmer manifested before her surrounded by pink bubbly magic. She instantly bit her tongue, looking down at the peaceful baby. It’s face scrunched up once more, it’s little mouth turning to a frown.

“Shhh, shhh, it’s okay! It’s…”

“Ehhh! Ahhh! Ahhh!”

“Oh no, no, no it’s okay, shhhh,” she attempted to soothe, rubbing circles on its back and swaying to and fro.

“I was going to ask what you think we should do,” Glimmer began, even as Adora started to pace the small cockpit.

“I don’t know,” she mumbled, walking rhythmically, feeling the baby’s tiny body expand each time it let out a pitiful wail. She should feel it’s lungs working overtime, it’s stubby tail twitched.

“Shhh you’re alright. You were having such a good sleep!” She cooed, patting its back.

“Adora?”

“Hmm?”

“I need to get out there and help the others,” Adora could sense the lack of patience ebbing at the queen’s voice. She may have larger duties to attend to, other priorities but Adora could only think of one thing at the moment. The thing that cried into her ear, the thing with little fingers grasping at her skin.

“I know, it’s...it’s okay, I can take care of the baby. You go see how everyone else is doing.”

Glimmer bit the inside of her cheek before she could verbalize any rebuke.

Probably something about SheRa and babysitting duty, Adora guessed.

“I need to go assist the others. Once it’s asleep come find me. We have lots of people we have to figure out where they are going once we get to Brightmoon and make sure they have all necessities. And we will want to question some of them about the brotherhood. Just...just come find me as soon as it’s asleep okay?”

Adora nodded,

Hope it takes a while, that way I can spend more time with them, she thought fondly, continuing to rub circles over it’s back. Her hands knew the repetitive motion well. Catra continued to get nightmares at least three times a week.

Glimmer stared at her a few more seconds before shrugging and going over to give Bow a quick kiss. The door opened, then slid shut again, and Adora was left with the small kitten.

---

“E...everyone accounted for?” Adora wheezed, rubbing the bruise on her left cheek. Rogelio growled, nodding from where crouched, rubbings his tail.

“I...I think so,” Kyle panted, he moved mechanically on his hands and knees, wincing as he picked up his staff and collapsed it into his holster.

Adora looked around the area, scanning the large circular room for any splattering of blood or broken equipment. A large black screen loomed down over them from the right side wall. Even without Hordak’s impossing image, Adora’s stomach tied in knots. He didn’t need to be on the screen in order to see them.

We failed, she sniffed, fighting tears. She rubbed them away with the back of her hand, the skin red and hot.

Probably burnt.

She fought another round of tears.

No. Don’t cry. Shut up. Who else is left, who else is hurt? You are not what’s important right now.

Adora swallowed the tight lump in her throat.

“Catra? You okay?”

“Hmmmph fine,” the younger girl answered, she licked at her right forearm. Face stuck in a scowl.

“Lonnie?”

Adora crouched down to see under the metal beams.

“Lonnie you okay? I saw you really took that last hit hard!”

She held her breath, anxiety hinging on the other girl’s answer.

“I’m okay.”

Adora deflated with relief, watching Lonnie limp out from behind one of the metal beams.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Must’ve banged my ankle.”

Adora glanced down at the cadet’s red boot. It wasn’t falling off, her limp wasn’t that bad.

“Okay. Just take it easy I guess.”

Lonnie eyed her with quiet resolve but nodded and slunk over to Rogelio.

“Adora! Get up!”

Adora sprang from her bed that evening, heart hammering in her chest, body suddenly drenched in a cold sweat.

Two vacant white eyes, soulless and blank stood over her.

“Sh...Shadow Weaver!”

“Shh! Do not wake the other cadet’s. Come with me now.”

Adora nodded, still shaking. Rising from her bed. She spared a look over her shoulder. The top bunk still appeared to be occupied.

Good Catra’s still asleep.

It wouldn’t be the first time Shadow Weaver had woken her at some immeasurable hour only for her to find Catra restrained in the Black Garnet chamber to teach the two of them “a lesson.” Adora put a hand to her chest, trying to calm her heart as Shadow Weaver led her down the empty echoing halls of the Fright Zone.

“Umm...Shadow Weaver... where are we going?”

“Shhh! Did I permit you to speak?”

The sorceress demanded without turning towards her. Adora sunk her head low. Allowing her golden hair to hide her face.

“No ma’am.”

The sorceress nodded, motioning for Adora to come with her as they rode down one of the many elevator shafts. Adora stood silent, straight.

Don’t ask questions.

Only speak when spoken to.

Follow orders, don’t disobey.

You’ll be punished.

Or more accurately, Catra would be punished.

The elevator stopped, Shadow Weaver exited, gesturing for her to follow. With dragging feet Adora continued down the lengthy hall. The red emergency lights cast an eerie glow. Illuminating the walls.

“Infirmary,” with an arrow pointing further down the corridor.

Who’s in the…?

They stopped, Adora craned her neck to see through the glass window, into the sick bays.

“Who is that?” Shadow Weaver pointed one grey finger at one of the beds.

Adora jumped up, trying to see, then gasped.

Lonnie?!

“Who is that cadet speak quickly!

Shadow Weaver demanded, leaning forward. Shadows rippled from her robes.

“Lonnie! It’s Lonnie! Is...is she okay?”

“I don’t know cadet, you tell me! She was in your training exercise this morning.”

“I ...I know!” Adora spluttered, ringing her hands through a lock of hair. “She...she was! She took the last hit from one of the bots! I asked her if she was okay but….”

A shadow leapt from the sorceresses robes, Adora shrieked, flinching as it zipped toward her, through her fingers and into the strand of hair she fiddled with. It sizzled and smoked, a fowl stench filling Adora’s nose.

‘Don’t play with your hair!” Shadow Weaver thundered, “look at me! Lonnie is in your squad! You were in charge of the drill. She is hurt.”

“I...I know!” Adora’s voice cracked, tears pressing at her eyes. She wrung her fingers together watching nervously as the shadow drifted through the piece of hair, pulling it back, against her head. She pinched her eyes shut in discomfort at the tense yank of her scalp.

“Adora!”

Shadow Weaver crouched over her.

“I...I asked her if she was okay! I asked her if it hurt! She said it would be fine!”

“And you took her word for it?”

“Y...yes!” Adora broke down in sobs.

“Why didn’t you bring her straight here?”

“I….” she looked up, over at where Lonnie lay asleep on a cot. “I didn’t know,” she whined, tears streaming down her face.

“She had to be bright here on stretcher, after waking some other cadets earlier. Crying in pain Adora and now she’s out of commission for a week while the leg heals. A week!”

“I...I’m..s...s...sorry!”

Adora’s chest cracked with guilt.

Poor Lonnie. She was in so much pain! She should’ve told me! I should’ve helped her! I should’ve made her get it looked at!

“Lonnie is in your squad. You protect people in your squad Adora. That is the job of a leader. Protecting people and making sure they are not harmed. You must always look after those in your care. Who’s fault is this?”

“M...mine,” Adora whimpered. A hot runny line of snot snaking from her nose. “Louder cadet!” Shadow Weaver snarled. Her shadows rising around her.

“Mine!” Adora shrank back against the wall. “It’s my fault Shadow Weaver! I should’ve kept a better watch on her, I should’ve made her show me the wound. I...I should’ve protected her more!”

“Very good Adora,” the shadows dissipated.

“While Lonnie’s out you will take over her latrine duty for the next week.”

Adora knew better than to show objection on her face. She only sniffled, pulling up her shirt to wipe her nose, wishing she could bury her face inside it forever.

“Y...es Shadow Weaver.”

“And?” The sorceress asked.

Adora drew a shaky breath, finally managing to meet those gaping eyes.

“Th...thank you Shadow Weaver. For teaching me. For this lesson. I’ll...I’ll be better.”

“Indeed you will.”

The sorceress took off down the hall once more. Leaving Adora in the black cold hall. She watched Lonnie sleep until she too dozed off, curling up on the metal floor.

I’ll be better.

I’ll be better at protecting.

Protecting Lonnie….

Protecting Catra

---

“Thank you Shera, thank the stars!” Adora grinned awkwardly at the woman, helping her sister to wrap the elder in a blanket.

“We’ll be on Etheria soon.”

The woman nodded eagerly, but the exhaustion was not lost on Adora.

She parted ways with the family giving a nice pat on the shoulder and moving along down the rows of people now displaced from their town. The baby had finally gone back to sleep, after walking herself dizzy.

“Adora!” Glimmer’s sharp voice found her through the throngs of people.

“Glimmer hey! Sorry the baby took longer to get down than I thought.”

The queen smirked,

“They usually do. But you should go rest for the night you look beat. We can...we can talk infant stuff tomorrow before we land.”

“That’s okay!’ She waved Shera’s glowing, gauntlet hand. “I can do more! I haven’t finished passing out the blankets! And… and people are wanting to know where they can make a new home once on Etheria! That family over there…” she gestured to a family of five, “they lost their house and their shlooping business! We’ll need to help them get back on their feet! I need to find out what shlooping is!”

“Adora,” Glimmer “it can wait. We have plenty of volunteers to help with supplies and there is a whole team already in Brightmoon working on helping people once they arrive. Please rest. You need to rest.”

She’s right. Once I transform back I’ll be exhausted, her mind whispered to her. She learned the hard way that while Shera could heal herself no problem, the Adora of afterward still felt fatigued and sore.

“You sure?”

“Yes,” Glimmer gave her a grateful sigh. “Please go rest. I’ll see you in the morning.” Adora nodded, leaning down to give her friend a tight hug. One large hand rubbing her back.

“It’s been a hard day for you too! You should also rest! If you need me to be on flying duty so you an Bow can get some time together…”

“That’s what autopilot is for,” Glimmer gave her a knowing wink, slowly withdrawing from the embrace.

“Goodnight, Adora.”

“Goodnight Glimmer.”

---

Adora slipped into the room with practiced stealth, holding her breath at the sliding door as it closed. She turned, taking in her and Catra’s tiny room on the ship. A storage compartment, galley bathroom off the side one plain table where Adora placed her sword and one large cot. If by large you meant barely enough for two women. She sighed, breathing out the day, her body rippling with the transformation from glorious warrior woman to…

Just Adora.

She straightened, closing her eyes and rolled her neck through the dulling ache in her joints. It was inevitable now everything she changed back to herself. But it was worth it of course.

Adora changed, quiet as could be. Tip toeing around the confined space to pull off her jacket and into her simple nightwear, a white little gown that Bow got for her last New Moon Day. She let her hair fall down, cascading around her shoulders in straight blonde locks and edged towards the bed, smiling. Cramped as it was, the little room did offer a perfect view of the stars before them. The entire ceiling and one of the walls made of pure glass. The eternal stream of stars glistened against the purple black of the universe, bathing their room in a cool tranquil shade of deep indigo shadows.

Catra rustled from her place on the bed, eyes slits of glowing gold and blue in the night.

“Sorry! Did I wake you? I tried…”

Adora crouched over her, the woman only smiled sleepily shifting beneath her. Adora shivered feeling Catra’s tail wrap around her leg.

“Mmmm no love,” Catra rasped through half conscious daze. Adora couldn’t help but feel her heart skip a beat. Of course she treasured every moment with Catra but this….these sleepy half-awake moments might be her favorite.

She’s so soft when she’s sleepy.

Most people only knew Catra as prickly at best and outright aggressive at worst. Even towards Bow and Glimmer Catra retained her aloof pessimism but here, cloaked in darkness, she was always able to reveal the truer deeper parts of herself. A part of her only Adora was privy to. The Catra that purred, the Catra who sang to her, the Catra who could be so vulnerable and soft and even sometimes romantic. Only in the darkness, only in secret, only with her.

Been that way since we were kids. Just the two of us huddled up in my bunk terrified of being caught. Risking it all the same.

Of course except the night we did get caught….

Adora’s stomach tightened at the memory, her hands clutched at the sheets, she bit her lip.

You should’ve thrown the blanket over her, lay down on top of her the second you heard footsteps! You should’ve pushed her off like every other close call! If you’d been more alert Shadow Weaver wouldn’t have caught you. She would’ve dragged Catra by her hair to the Black Garnet Chamber and…

“You gonna kiss me or what?”

Catra’s low voice purred, carrying Adora from that terrible night. She obliged, leaning down to kiss her on the lips. Warm and smooth, her breath full and humming. Adora almost fell on top of her, though by the way she purred, it’s not like Catra would probably mind. Adora kissed her again, this time longer, running her fingers through the brunette’s hair.

“Mmm you smell nice, like Shera,” Catra murmured, planting more sweet delicate kisses on her lips.

“That’s why you married me isn’t it?” Adora whispered, returning her kisses. She let her hips drop lazily against Catra’s. Her wife let out a hitching gasp, one hand coming up to caress Adora’s cheek. She drew back only slightly, breath whispering across Adora’s lips.

“I married you for power. Being Shera’s wife? You can’t get any higher up then that.”

Adora giggled, her fingers carding through the messy brown hair towards Catra’s ears.

“Are you sure?” She teased, allowing her hips to roll over the other woman’s. The scratchy gray blanket easily gave with the weight and Adora raised her brow as Catra let out a loud satisfied humm, her heavy lidded eyes closing.

“Mmmsure.”

Adora’s smile widened,

I could watch her like this forever.

She kissed Catra once more, this time deeper, breathing her in. Tasting her.

Close your eyes, relax, un-tense your shoulders. Let this calm you. Let her make you happy just the way she is.

Adora sighed into another kiss, undulating her hips again. This pulling a husky moan from Catra who tightened her grip on Adora’s shoulders. Her claws retracted, thankfully.

“Don’t start something you don’t intend to finish,” Catra breathed, planting kisses all along Adora’s jaw.

“Oh I fully intend to. Finish that is. Get it?”

Catra rolled her eyes, but her back arched upward hips thrusting into Adora’s. She kissed her fervently, lips tracing over the mark of the Heart of Etheria. Adora groaned, inpatient. She carelessly tossed the flimsy blanket to the ground and leaned over Catra, her hair creating a golden curtain around their faces. She thrust again, their hips bumping through thin nightclothes. The arm that wound through Catra’s hair now reached downward, running over the contours of her wife’s lithe sides, over her jut of her hip bones to the slight bulge of her stomach and lower.

“A...Adora,” Catra whimpered, kissing at her neck her fingers clutching to Adora’s back.

“I….I...should go check on the baby,”

“What?” She felt Catra stiffen against her.

“I think I heard it crying,” Adora protested, withdrawing her hand from it’s position right above the line of her wife’s pajama pants.

“I have better hearing than you,” Catra grumbled, ears pinned backward to her skull. “I would know if it was crying. It’s not crying. Even if it is, who cares?”

“Who cares?” Adora cried, gaze turning fierce. “Catra it’s alone and abandoned on this ship with no family. No parents! What if it needs something? What if it’s in danger?”

“Who cares? I care! We’re all alone on this ship, finally! What if I need fucking, what if my labito is in danger?!”

“I….I just need to check real quick I promise!”

Catra changed tactics, sitting up and kissing at Adora’s chest, at her breasts through her slim nightgown. Hands coming up to rub circles over her sides.

“There are plenty of people on this ship,” Catra’s voice fell back to it’s lazy slow rasp. “Let Bow or Sparkles or any of the other princesses or volunteers take care of it.” She kissed Adora’s sternum, nibbling a little at the silk gown.

Glimmer and Bow probably moved it from the cockpit where I laid it down to sleep. Who knows where they put it? Bow wouldn’t endanger the baby. He’d put them somewhere safe. But where? It could be crying right now. From all the way across the ship tucked into some compartment? Even Catra’s hearing isn’t that good!

“We’ve been fighting and going for days. You’ve been taking care of all these people. Let me take care of you now okay?” Catra asked softly, she held Adora’s face with her hands, fingers carefully rubbing into her wife’s temples.

“I just need to see the baby and make sure they are okay!”

Adora tossed her head from Catra’s grip.

“Adora!”

Her pupils narrowed to tiny slits in the dark.

“No Catra. We found it, it’s our responsibility.”

“No it’s not! What are you….”

Adora jumped from the bed, getting her jacket.

“Adora it can wait! Please! There are other people who can…’

“No it can’t! I have to do this. Just...stay here! I”ll be back soon. Then we can do whatever you want.”

Adora punched the door key, dashing down the dark corridor.

---

Catra bit her tail, stifling a sob.

Can’t wake Adora. Not again.

In a fog of half-consciousness the little magicat’s tears ran down her face. Her little bum ached against the shabby cot. Long worn from years of use and reuse. She shivered, her thin coat of fur doing little against the dank bone chill of the Fright Zone barracks.

She heaved for breath,

It was just a dream. A...a nightmare...it...it’s okay.

She let go of her tail, laying down carefully and stuffing her face into the fraying pillow. Her body trembled with chill, her head stuffy from sleepiness combined with her snotty cries. Her eyes burning.

Don’t wake Adora.

Shadow Weaver will get mad.

Go back to sleep.

Her belly squirmed with hunger. That relentless pain, combined with her nightmare of Beast Island had awoken her.

Catra heaved for more air, choking through the wracking sobs. She kneaded at her own tummy.

Don’t cry. Hold your breath. Don’t cry! Don’t…

“Catra!”

“AAAAHmmmmph!”

The magicat’s alarmed scream cut short as a tendril of shadow magic sealed her lips shut.

“Do not wake the other cadets. Come with me.”

Catra let out a whimper, scaling down her bed. Adora slept soundly beneath her.

Good, she won’t wake up and try to be the hero.

The magicat followed Shadow Weaver from the sleeping quarters down the halls to the Black Garnet Chamber. Despite the spell, silent tears streamed from Catra’s eyes. Her fur bristling.

She’s going to hurt me, she’s going to hurt me. She heard me crying and she’s going to hurt me or say I can’t eat for another day.

No, no, no no, no no.

They stepped into the harrowed chamber, the door slamming shut.

“If I take that binding spell off of you will you continue your yapping?”

She shook her head furiously, gasping as the shadow removed itself from her mouth. She heaved for air, tears trickling.

“I said quiet!” Shadow Weaver snarled, seizing Catra’s skinny arm in a vice grip, forcing her to her knees.

“Why were you causing such a fuss?!”

Catra opened her mouth and let out a wail.

“Answer me!” Red electric magic pulsed in the sorceresses palm.

“I….I had a bad d...dream!” Catra managed through her tears. “I was on Beas...beast...beast...beast island and...the...there were phookas...and and and…”

The fingers around her wrist tightened, sharp nails digging in.

“Ow! I had a nightmare! And...and ...and I woke up...it was cold and dark! AndI was hungry and ...th...thirsty! I ...was thirst…”

The smack cracked, worse than magic across her face. The back of Shadow Weaver’s hand burning through her cheeks and over her nose in a swift sharp pain.

“Ahhhhhhh!!” Catra shrieked, hands flying to her face, covering her throbbing nose.

No blood...n...not this time…

“You were thirsty so you began to cry waking the others?”

“I didn’t!” Catra tried, little fists balling. How quickly hurt hardened to rage.

“You could have! Hear me now you little brat you are to keep silent. Especially at night. Some of the cadets among you have potential and they cannot achieve that if they do not get their rest. If you are restless and awake at night keep it to yourself.”

“I was thirsty and hungry!”

Shadow Weaver’s magic crackled close to Catra’s aching face. Sending a fresh round of tears flooding her eyes. She pinched them shut, trying to keep them from leaking out into the sorceress’s view.

“Then starve! Do you think I care what happens to you at night or otherwise? You lost your meal privileges for keeping Adora from her chores. You will keep your needs and wants to yourself because they do not matter. This is an army not a nursery. Your malcontent is selfish and no one’s problem but your own. Be silent. Do you understand me?”

“Mhm,” Catra sniffled refusing to meet her gaze.

“Speak up you little wretch. Or I will make you speak.”

Panic fluttered through Catra’s heaving chest.

“N...no! I...I won’t I promise! I won’t cry at night. I’ll….I’ll be quiet...I’ll be good.”

The sorceress turned, casting a cold glare over her shoulder.

“We’ll see about that. Now get back to the barracks. And don’t even think about scratching the walls on your way. Or I’ll have you de-clawed again.”

Ice formed in Catra’s gut. She clutched her right hand to her chest, tucking it in so Shadow Weaver couldn’t see the still healing claws protruding at her fingertips. Her chest pricked with the agony of that particular ordeal.

“I...I won’t! I won’t!”

“Good. Then get out of my sight.”

Catra sprang forward, dashing on all fours out of the chamber. She hurried back to the barracks. Creeping quietly past the rows of bunk beds.

Good, Adora’s still asleep.

Catra noted the little blonde girl. She’d kicked her blankets off in her slumber. The magicat climbed up to her bed, pushing her sore face into the scratchy pillow. Trying to calm herself.

“Pst, Catra. You awake?”

Oh no.

“I’m fine, Adora go back to bed!”

As usual her friend would not be deterred.

“Are you sure you’re okay? I thought I saw Shadow Weaver leave with you.”

“I’m fine idiot just go to sleep!”

Please, please go back to bed, she’ll hurt me again if you don’t keep quiet. please . Please just sleep.

“Catra are you really, really sure?”

The magicat didn’t answer again. Nor did she ever answer from then on whenever Adora climbed up to her bunk to ask if she was okay after another midnight beating. She learned how to lick her wounds in silence. Rub her tummy without scratching through her shirt, swallow her parched throat without coughing. Stealth was one of her more animalistic qualities by nature. From that night forward Catra learned to cry so no one, not even Adora could hear her.

---

The baby was safe.

Adora found them sleeping soundly where Glimmer had tucked them against one of the corners of the main sleeping areas. Swaddled in a lilac purple blanket. Adora crept among the sleeping refugees only to nearly sob in relief upon seeing the little thing. It’s lips sucked soundlessly for milk that wasn’t there. It’s tiny tail curled as much as it could around its stomach. Adora had undone the swaddle blanket, to redo it herself.

Glimmer might have tied it too tightly. Not that she can’t take care of babies, of course she can. But I better check, just to make sure they are comfortable.

Sure enough the little kitten did not make a peep.

Adora reached forward, holding them in her arms, tucking them against her chest. Unable to resist the urge.

They look like Catra when she was a kitten.

Adora recalled fondly. That day, in hindsight was one of the happiest days of her life. When a little box was brought to the nursery and inside huddled a very emaciated little kitten. Angry and hissing. So adorable.

But from day one Shadow Weaver hated her. I...I couldn’t stop that hurt. I couldn’t protect her.

“But I can protect you,” she whispered into one silken ear. “I’m going to take care of you.” She rocked the baby back and forth. Their small fresh breath tickling her chest. Their weight just right in her arms. Adora hummed gently, swaying and bobbing to soothe them.

“When we get back to Etheria I’m going to keep you..”

The magikit gurgled in response. It’s eyes opening a sliver of pale blue in the moonlight. Adora felt her heart melt. She gazed, smitten down at the perfect bundle. She kissed their cheek, infant fir still a fuzzy coating over their skin. Adora breathed it in, sighing. There was nothing else in the universe at this moment. Nothing so absolutely perfect. Nothing so treasured as the kitten she held. Overwhelming, terrifying and all consuming with devotion.

I can do this. I can protect them. I can care for them. I can be there for them. Be what they need. And Catra, she’ll make a great mother too. She just needs to get used to it. This...this is something I can do. Not a battle for Shera to win. Something for me, Adora to do. Something I have to do and this time, I finally want to do.

Something glowed, Adora glanced down, mouth parting in astonishment. The Heart of Etheria still etched into her chest glowed with blue light.

She shivered, spine threatening to melt, the sensation of Finn’s little fingers carefully grabbed at the mark as if to pull it from her skin. She watched their eyes widen in fascination, gleaming brilliant blue with the light. They flexed tiny fingers, pressing into her chest at the mark of the Heart.

Adora laughed, giddy, lifting them up over her face. “I’m going take care of you Finn,” the name bubbling to the front of her mind as she kissed them all over.

“I promise.”

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lifeofkaze · 4 years ago

Text

An Art of Balance #1

A/N: I can’t believe I’m doing this, welcome to my fanfiction comeback after more than ten years. Jesus Christ, I’m nervous af. Feel free to comment and correct me (not my first language, sorry if sth is wrong), I’d be super happy for someone to beta me in fact! As the quidditch timelines are kind of messed up, I put Skye and MC in the same year, ignoring the fact that they are not supposed to know each other initially. Orion and McNully are one year above them. Enjoy!

Word Count: ~ 2.800

______________________________________________________________

“What I dream of is an art of balance.”- Henri Matisse

Chapter 1: New Beginnings

It was a hot day. It was, in fact, far too hot for this time of the year. The sun was blazing down relentlessly on Kings Cross Station, its windows shining in the glaring sunlight. It was not only hot, the air was also muggy as well. Lizzie Jameson fidgeted in her clothes as she pushed her cart through the dense mass of students and parents saying their goodbyes, looking for familiar faces to begin her ride to Hogwarts for her fifth year with.

“Do try to stay out of trouble this time, will you, dear?”

Her mother was walking closely behind her, eager to give her daughter last minute advice on how to behave properly for once. Lizzie rolled her eyes at the huge grey cat towering above her trunk in its cage, only listening half-heartedly.

“Sure, Mum, I’ll try my best… it’s not like I’m asking for trouble, you know?”

She heard the soft laugh of her mother and turned around to see her smiling fondly at her.

“I’m not so sure of that one.”

She opened her arms and Lizzie gave her a hug.

“Oi, Jameson! Over here!”

She looked up and saw a familiar head of black and blue hair waving through the crowd. Lizzie let go of her mother.

“Mum, there’s Skye over there, waiting for me.”

“It’s alright, dear. Go on ahead.”

Her mum gave her another quick hug and slightly pushed her away. “Just promise me to try. Be good, study and write sometime!”

Lizzie just laughed, barely listening anymore, waved and made her way over to Skye, who was standing beside her father in a thick mass of flustered students admiring the Quidditch star. He broke into a smile as he saw her approach.

“Well, if it isn’t Elizabeth Jameson, the second best chaser Hufflepuff has seen in a while!” Ethan Parkin, famous chaser of the Wigton Wanderers, gave her a slap on the back. “Are you ready for another shot at the Quidditch cup, Lizzie? I already gave Skye a detailed briefing on how to- “.

“It’s alright, dad,” Skye piped in, “I can recite your strategies in my sleep, we’ll be good.” She grinned at Lizzy. “Let’s go find a seat and some of the others. I can’t wait to tell you what stunts I’ve been trying out over summer break!”

The Hogwarts Express was slowly running out of Kings Cross station when Skye and Lizzie finally had a chance to look for a place to seat. Having been on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team for several years now, they had gained quite the popularity with their house mates.

Exhausted from greeting what felt like the whole of their house, they finally found the department they had been looking for. Inside sat the rest of their little Quidditch gang, their fellow chaser and team captain Orion Amari and the not-so-impartial commentator Murphy McNully. McNully was excitedly telling Orion what seemed to be the new statistics he had come up with during summer break, while Orion was sitting cross-legged on his seat with his eyes closed and a zoned-out smile on his face. When they entered, he opened his eyes and smiled warmly at the sight of them.

“Ah, there you are! I knew there was a 77% chance of you coming here to join us, we kept seats for you!” McNully shouted excitedly.

“What are the other 23%?”, Lizzie wanted to know.

“You might have run into Penny Haywood or Rowan Khanna first. I think the chances of Rowan actually enjoying our company are at about 16 %. At best. So, I figured she wouldn’t want to sit with us. Which means, if she would have met you first, she would have asked you to sit with her, which you would of course have agreed to, as she is you best friend because you met her back in Diagon Alley before your first year and- “.

“Shut up, McNully.” Skye rolled her eyes at him and looked over to Lizzie. “It’s true though, she doesn’t really seem to like us that much.”

Lizzie shrugged. “No idea really, she actually really enjoys Quidditch. I guess she is just more of the watching type. Or reading about it, for that matter. But don’t you worry about her.”

Lizzie laid back in her seat next to Murphy, enjoying the cool air that was streaming from the partially open window into the stuffed cabin. She leaned forward again, putting her feet on the seat opposite of her and looked at her friends. “So, what have you guys been up to this summer? Ready for a brand-new year, brand-new season?”

Skye’s face immediately lit up with excitement. “You bet I am! Wait ‘til you see the tricks my dad taught me! We will stomp Ravenclaw into the dust in no time, just you wait!”

McNully only shook his head next to her. “Winning against Ravenclaw only makes up 30 % of what it takes to win the Cup, Skye. There are still Gryffindor and Slytherin to beat as well.”

Skye tilted her head, looking at him questioningly. “That’d make 90 %, what’s with the missing 10 %? Luck or what?”

McNully laughed. “I don’t believe in luck. No, it’s way better than that! We’re talking team compositions, daily form, weather conditions, bludger flight path velocity…” He gazed dreamily into the distance. “I could go on forever.”

Skye shook her head. “Don’t. Besides, all that stuff doesn’t help you win a match if you can’t hold yourself on a broom when you need to.

“But it can!”, McNully retorted, “There are so many factors influencing that as well. Just think about the grip factor on the broom handle, or centrifugal powers during turns or- “

Leaving them to their discussion, Lizzie got up and sat down next to her team captain. Watching them bicker back and forth, she couldn’t help but smile fondly. “They will never find middle ground, will they?”

Orion watched them thoughtfully. “Why would they? All the different beliefs we have are but representations of the many sides of Quidditch.”

Lizzie looked at him, processing what he just had said. “I guess you’re right.” She smiled. “How has your summer been?”

He shrugged. “I’ve let myself flow wherever the universe destined me to go.”

Lizzy shook her head at his answer, nebulous as ever. “And have you flown any interesting place in particular?”

“I did spend a lot of time surrounded by nature, reconnecting with myself, finding the balance to focus on what’s to come.”

Lizzie grinned. “So, wandering about in the woods, is that it?”

Orion chuckled softly. She had a way of breaking down his words. “Yes, you could put it that way.”

They chatted on about hiking and the trails Lizzie’s parents had taken her to this summer for a while before they fell into a comfortable silence, watching the trees outside rush by and listening to Skye’s and McNully’s bickering.

Lizzie jerked awake when the door to their department banged open and a whirlwind of blond hair burst in. Judging by the golden light outside, she must have slept for almost the entire ride.

“Lizzie, Skye! It’s so good so to see you all, I’ve been looking for you since we left London.”

Penny Haywood smiled her radiant smile at them, letting herself fall into the seat next to Lizzie. Lizzie rubbed her eyes, brain still foggy from her nap. “The train is only so long, and we’ve almost arrived, what have you been doing for so long?”

Penny giggled. “Oh, you know, catching up here and there, saying hello to people… There is SO much stuff I have to tell you later!”

Lizzy grinned at her. “Lots of juicy gossip?”

Penny laughed out loud. “You bet!” She lowered her voice. “Did you know that Billingsley apparently blew up his pumpkin pastry earlier, right in Merula Snyde’s face? And rumour has it, Tonks and Tulip have declared a prank war for this year!”

Lizzy shot an annoyed glance at Skye, who had started talking considerably louder, waving her hands in McNully’s face when Penny had entered. “No, I didn’t know that,” she replied. “Sounds like we’re in for quite a ride.”

“As always with these two.” Penny turned towards the cage where the ears of Lizzies cat had jerked up upon her entering. “Aw, hello Mousey, my sweet darling, have you missed me?” The grey cat purred, rubbing her head against Penny’s outstretched hand through the bars of her carrier.

Skye snorted. “Are you talking to that little devil over there? I swear, if that fur ball so much as touches my quills this year, I’ll make a hat out of her!”

Ignoring her, Penny rubbed Mouse’s chin. “We have no idea who she is talking about, right, Mousey? Such a good girl you are!” She suddenly looked up, waving at someone passing by their carriage. Lizzie followed her gaze just to see whoever she had been waving at quickly picking up their pace. But not quick enough for her to not recognise the familiar face.

She got up off her seat and stepped out into the hallway. “Hey, Rowan! Hey, wait up!” Rowan Khanna, her best friend since the beginning of her Hogwarts journey together, stopped dead in her tracks and turned.

“Oh… hey, Liz… sorry, didn’t see you. How’s things going?”

Lizzie frowned. She’d imagined Rowan being excited to see her, hugging her and asking about her summer, like she always did. She opened her mouth to speak when Penny, who had followed her, spoke up.

“Hello Rowan, how are you? Congratulations again on becoming a prefect, first step to being Head Girl managed!”

Rowan said nothing, looking sheepishly at Lizzie, whose gaze had dropped to the shiny yellow and black prefect badge sitting on the chest of Rowan’s robes.

“Wow, Rowan congrats! You really deserve that,” Lizzie exclaimed. She’d had no idea her best friend had been being chosen as one of Hufflepuff’s new prefects.

Rowan’s cheek blushed a little. “Yeah, well thanks, I guess. See you guys at the station.”

She awkwardly waved goodbye and hurried off. Penny arched her eyebrows. “What was that about? She was rather weird, wasn’t she?”

Lizzie didn’t answer, still staring after her friend. She remembered what Penny had said. “You knew about her becoming prefect?” she asked.

Penny looked at her bewildered. “Of course, she wrote to me as soon as she learned. Didn’t she tell you?”

Lizzie shook her head. “No, not a word. We didn’t write a lot this summer, in fact. I thought she would have told me something that important to her.”

Penny shrugged. “Don’t worry, maybe your letters were just badly timed or something.” They stepped back into their cabin and Penny dropped into her seat. “Do you know who else was chosen?”

“I only know Charlie is a prefect now, he told me as soon as the owl arrived.”

Penny smiled a very innocent smile at her. “Charlie Weasley instantly sent you a letter when he learned he was appointed prefect?”

Lizzie shot her a glance. “Stop looking at me like that. Yes, he did, because we happen to be friends. Just friends, alright? No baseless assumptions before the new term has even started!”

Penny just grinned, prompting Lizzie to roll her eyes. “Actually, I had thought they would choose you, Penny. Top notch grades, loved by everyone, barely getting into trouble, sounds like an ideal prefect.”

“Not since she started hanging with us,” Skye chuckled. “Penny’s been to too many pre- and post-match parties for the teachers’ liking, I guess.”

A light laugh escaped Penny’s throat. “Busted! But how could I say no to celebrating victory with the Skye Parkin?”

Skye said nothing and looked out of the window for a moment. “More celebrating defeat when it comes to last year.” Her attention shifted over to Orion. “Seriously though, do you have a plan for this year? Like, we finished last year in not the best state and we need a new beater as well.”

Lizzie went pale at that. “Merlin forbid, you won’t have me play beater again, will you?”

Orion looked at her calmly. “As you know, to me all positions are equal, merging into one another to form one complete team.”

Skye grabbed hold of Lizzie’s arm possessively. “Oh no, no, no, Amari, don’t you dare taking her from me again. That season with her as beater was mediocre at best. We want to have a shot at the Cup, we need her as our third chaser.”

“Don’t fear Skye. While I think Lizzie made a formidable beater, I agree with you. She’s evolved into a true chaser. No, we will hold try outs to see if a new calling arises in one of our fellow housemates.”

Satisfied with his answer, Skye let go of Lizzie, who was peering out of the window.

“I am really glad to hear that.” She pulled Skye to her feet.

“Come on, girls, we’re almost there, let’s get changed.” She grabbed the bag with her school robes inside and waited impatiently until Skye had dug up hers out of the chaos that was her trunk.

***

They had nearly arrived at Hogsmeade Station when Skye, Penny and Lizzie returned.

Orion was clasping his robe over his sweater, feeling uncomfortable. He hated wearing his school uniform, he always felt confined in them. He was already looking forward to changing into his loose shirt and coat again.

He touched his tie, looking at McNully questioningly. “Good?”

His friend grinned at him. “Not as good-looking as me, but good enough, I guess.”

He pointed to Orion’s neck. “You forgot your necklace, though.”

Orion ran his hand over the round pendant he always wore around his neck, tucking it down his shirt. “No, I didn’t. I am not taking it off if I don’t have to.”

“I know.” McNully waved a hand at him. “I’ve never seen you without it, except when you’re playing Quidditch, which is because all pieces of jewellery have to be removed for safety reasons, since we became friends, which was in our first year, of course, when you took the bed next to me in the dorm and we started chatting and…”

He actually managed to stop himself. “What I want to say, I know you don’t like taking it off.”

The door opened and Penny, Skye, and Lizzie re-entered the cabin. Skye wasn’t looking too happy to be wearing a skirt and robes instead of her signature house sweater and jacket. Orion saw her touching her tie in the same uncomfortable way he had just done.

“Ugh, I hate this uniform so much, it’s just so uncomfortable,” she complained promptly. “I really don’t see why we have to change for, what, two hours, before going back to the Common Rooms and getting out of these. We’ll be wearing them enough during the year.”

Lizzie rolled her eyes at her before reaching for her cat snoozing in her cage. “Can you just stop complaining, please? It’s not like you can change it.”

“Yes, but I can make a point about not liking it.”

“They just want everyone to look proper when the new students walk into the Great Hall for the first time.” Penny casually brushed some dirt off Skye’s shoulder, who shut up immediately.

“Speaking about looking proper, Lizzie, you should really brush out your hair, I don’t think Professor Sprout would appreciate you walking in with hair that messy.”

Lizzy touched her hair she still had tied up in a bun, now worse for wear from the heat and the wind coming from the window. “Oh, I forgot about that.” She pulled her hair band out, shaking out her light brown curls, brushing through them with her fingers as a makeshift brush. “Better?”

Penny looked at her dubiously. “Not much, but it’ll do, I think.” She ran her fingers through a strand of Lizzie’s hair. “I do have to say though, that new length suits you so well, Liz, I’m glad you listened to me and chopped it off.”

Orion watched Lizzie tucking her hair behind her ear. Penny was right, it suited her a lot. Until the end of last year, Lizzie’s long hair had almost come down to her waist. Not being the tallest, it had always made her look younger than she was, almost drowning her.

Now it ended just below her shoulders, the shorter length allowing it to curl stronger than before. She looked much more grown up like that, more feminine. As they were leaving the train, McNully, who was pushing his wheelchair in front of him, shot him a side glance.

“Lizzie looks changed, doesn’t she?”

Orion wondered if he had seen him looking. On second thought, of course he had.

“Is it important how we look on the outside when all that matters is our inside?” he evaded his question nebulously. For once, McNully didn’t reply, following the girls up to the carriages waiting for them.

#harry potter #hogwarts mystery #hphm #orion amari #orion amari x mc #skye parkin #murphy mcnully #penny haywood #rowan khanna #quidditch #elizabeth jameson #lizzie jameson #art of balance #the quidditch squad #quidditch squad

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m-y-fandoms · 4 years ago

Text

Rantarou Amami x Ultimate Writer - FLUFF

Request: Hi! Your writing is incredible ^^ I was wondering if you could write Rantaro with an Ultimate Essay Writer s/o, maybe comforting them when they're up late writing? I hope that's okay, and thank you :D

Hey! Sure I can do this! But, I wanna make it just the Ultimate Writer. I’m an english writing major myself IRL, and I have to write essays, non-fiction, emails, resumes, letters, instructional guides, graphic novels, fiction, poetry etc. so they will definitely have essay-writing skills anyway. Ultimate Writer just makes it easier. I hope you don’t mind :) - Admin Kokichi

"Nnnn!" You gritted your teeth in frustration, "NNNGGHH!" Your arm was stretched to its extent, reaching up with all your might. The shelf above was just out of reach. Your fingertips scraped against the spine of the thick brown book above you, but strain as you might, it wasn’t budging, firm and snug against the others on the shelf. "Gah!" You puffed in anger, clenching your fists. Why did the books you wanted from the basement library always have to be so high up? You needed this particular text as a reference for your next piece.

It was going to be a throwaway letter, a confession written to express your feelings then set them free by burning it later. It didn’t matter, really, what you wrote at this point. Anything to get your mind off of all of… this. In this killing game, your writing was the only thing that brought you comfort. You stayed up every night scrawling until your wrist cramped up. Your Monopad had a notes section to type in, but you much rather stick to the traditional ways. The lack of sleep and endless output of creative thought was starting to weigh on you, and now it looked like you weren’t even getting this damn book today, “Man, this blows…” You sighed deeply. "AH!" You jumped, startled when a large, ring-clad hand suddenly appeared in front of your face, bracelets jangling in your ear. Soon, you felt someone's broad chest against your back. The hand grabbed the book you wanted and brought it down. You turned around with your hand on your chest, still a little jumpy. "Oh, phew… Rantarou, it's just you."

"Yeah,” he chuckled gently, “here ya go Y/N." There stood your crush, the rich playboy with a heart of gold. You felt your cheeks go warm. He was often in the library, and you relished every moment you got to spend glancing over your shoulder at him while we has up to his usual antics of planning traps or researching new ways to interrogate your classmates until someone was spooked into admitting their position as the mastermind. Once in a while, he would read for pleasure, and at first you felt like an asshole for being surprised by that. You judged him too early on, seeing a flawless face and a suave personality and assuming he would be the popular kid archetype you’d seen in many an awful young adult novel. The more you got to know him, the more he revealed himself to be highly intelligent, well-rounded, considerate, empathetic, and extremely attractive.

"Thanks, Rantarou," you looked down, placing the book under your arm.

"No problem… it's not everyday I get to do something useful for someone else here," he rubbed the back of his neck, laughing nervously. You laughed too, looking him up and down.

“That’s not true!” you countered. “You’re always helping us all out. You give great advice, too!”

“Well, I try to help, but I’m sure it hasn’t escaped everyone’s notice that none of my plans have really... taken off,” he gestured, moving his hand in a soaring-upward motion. “Also, with me not rememberin’ my talent and all… I kinda have become the expendable background character, yeah?” His eyes crinkled closed with a kind smile.

He laughed again to fill the silence of the dark, empty library. You giggled. You always thought it was cute how could be so humble, looking the way he did, sounding the way he did. He had been that way ever since you’d met him, and are far as you were concerned, it seemed genuine. You couldn’t really trust anyone in this killing game, but you trusted Rantarou. Even in the library past midnight, where no one would know if you ended up dead, you trusted Rantarou.

"Sorry, I uh, I didn't mean to scare you," he leaned against the bookcase, arms crossed.

"Nah, it's fine. You helped me out, so I forgive you..." You joked, playfully punching his shoulder. He smiled a bit sheepishly, an expression you didn’t see often in the confident male.

"Yeah I… haha," He fiddled with a book nearby," I didn't think anyone would be here. I always come at night. Surprisingly, it's pretty boomin’ here during the day, so I come later on to avoid the hassle of a crowded space." You understood completely. Rantarou was always secretive about his plans.

“I know, I see you here sometimes,” you mused.

“Oh, really? I usually sit behind the back shelves, so I guess i didn’t notice you. You’re pretty quiet, huh? Maybe I should be watchin’ my back for you, huh?” He snickered

"I was having the same thought, isn't that weird?" He looked at you with alarm. “I’m kidding!” To that, he relaxed a bit. "So, watcha reading?"

"Oh, um," He gestured behind him to the aforementioned back shelf "I’m set up back there reading. It's just some old, boring, textbook information on one of the small countries I’ve visited. I thought it'd be interesting, but..."

"Yeah, sounds like it," You looked at him with genuine interest, and he smiled in appreciation.

"Wait, really?!"

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be? I think it’s super cool that you’re well-traveled. I guess that’s why you and Korekiyo get along so well, huh?" His feet shuffled in silent excitement at your shared enthusiasm. He bit his lip playfully, and your eyes grew shiny in admiration. He was so adorable.

He noticed your change in expression and coughed, frowning a little in embarrassment. You tried to change the subject, to make him comfortable again.

"H-hey, Rantarou?"

"Hmm?" He looked up from the ground eagerly.

"You're gonna be up reading all night, right? Well.. I will be, too, and... it’s harder for someone to kill us with four eyes on the lookout..."

"Yeah?"

"So, you wanna maybe sit with me here at my table? The vents reach this side of the library better so it’s a bit warmer... haha, it's... it's kinda cold in here," You pulled your uniform’s turtleneck tighter around yourself, shaking a little. Rantarou immediately accepted. He wasn’t about to pass up an invitation from his crush.

“Hell yeah, sounds great! I’ll go grab my stuff, but, hey, I’ve noticed I hardly ever see you in the dorms… you know you gotta sleep, right?” He had a concerned look on his face, and your heart of course fluttered at his attention to detail and knowledge of your habits, but you didn’t want him worrying about you when he had his own safety to look out for.

“Well, I appreciate the concern, but I’d much rather spend time with you than be in my dorm alone worrying.” He seemed to blush at your words, and you thought you’d maybe gone too far, until he agreed, and rushed over to grab his reading material.

You sighed deeply, a yawn slipping out once or twice. At least two hours had passed since you and Rantarou set up your little corner and there he still sat, in the wooden chair across from yours, never looking up at you from his book. A peaceful, relaxed look glazed his face. He had been that way almost the whole time, but you could sense him becoming a bit antsy. Maybe he was just tired?

You were both fast readers, so by now you had already read the best sections of your own books and switched. He now sat reading the yellowed pages of the book you selected: an eclectic compilation of 16th century romance literature, and you were now five chapters into his text on the different ethnic groups of some far-off land.

“Hmm… heh,” he shook his head amusedly.

“What?” Your head shot up anxiously, fearing he was judging your choice of genre.

“It’s just... some of this is extremely cheesy and cliche. You’d think the old masters would have done a little better.” He lifted the book in a referencing gesture.

“Ah, yes, I noticed that as well. I was hoping for a little inspiration, but… it seems Monokuma isn’t the best curator of quality literature.” He nodded in agreement, seemingly stuck on a thought. You could see him stare into space for a second before continuing.

“Inspiration for what… may I ask?” He pressed, waiting with bated breath for your reply. You felt your feathers start to ruffle, the borders of your comfort zone being invaded by the enemy. You didn’t know if you should answer honestly. The letter was a throwaway for a reason…

“I was going to write a letter…” it slipped out, and you quickly regretted it. Apparently, your brain had decided to take the lead for you. You never recalled yourself being so forward or brave.

“Why do you need sonnets and romance novels to write a letter? Planning to sweet talk Monokuma into freeing us?” He chuckled somewhat teasingly, but his haughty words slowly faded to silence upon noticing the wet shine in your nervous eyes, the way your fingers played with the corner of the book as a distraction for your discomfort.

“No…” You coughed, clearing your throat. Rantarou looked away, running a hand through his green shaggy locks. He knew what the letter was for, of course, who it was for. He was a bit nervous, too, eager to play off the tension in the room with humor, but it wasn’t working. He was wondering why you were so apprehensive, so sullen at his inquiry. You two flirted almost every day… did you seriously need to worry about his reaction? Did you think he didn’t like you back? “I-It’s… well it was going to be a um… a confession of sorts… just to get my feelings down on paper and off my chest. Then I was gonna burn it afterward to set those feelings free!” You smiled weakly, betraying your lack of confidence.

“Nah, you should give it to him- them!” He corrected himself, dropping the most obvious hint he could. You still didn’t look convinced, a bit oblivious.

“Y-you think so?”

“For sure, no doubt. Whoever that letter is meant for,” he leaned in to you, clasping his calloused hands around yours. You felt your heart skip a beat at the contact, and you were left speechless, fearing any words spoken now would come out as idiotic babbling, “they are gonna love it. Trust me.” His eyebrows rose with emphasis, and he shot you one of his iconic, heart-melting smiles.

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padfootagain · 4 years ago

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A Very Rose Mistake (VI)

Part 6: How You Almost Did

Here I come with a new chapter for this series!!! I'm sorry the posting schedule is a little bit more hectic than usual, but depression is kicking my arse pretty badly, and it's harder to write then. BUT here is a new chapter!! Things are… evolving. A lot of this chapter is the flashback, because it's an important scene.

I hope you like this chapter, and don't forget to leave a little comment if you read, cause that really helps motivating me into writing, and I need that extra piece of motivation now more than ever, sadly.

No warnings here, it's pretty fluffy :)

Pairing: Harry Styles x Reader

Word Count : 4283

Holmes Chapel, 2010

"So… do you have everything?"

"Yeah, it's all ready."

"Did you take your inhaler? I won't be here to save your distracted arse this time."

"I do have it. Thanks, Lambkin."

"Fuck you, Chuckaboo."

"Oi!"

You laughed as you helped Harry carry his suitcase down the stairs. He was leaving to take a chance at X-factor. It was already crazy that he got through the first round of auditions, but now he had to travel across the country to start the first steps of the show.

Whenever the two of you talked about it though, he insisted that he would be back in the blink of an eye. He hadn't even expected to successfully get two 'yes' from the jury during the auditions, and now his purpose was to learn as much as he could from the experience, and enjoy it while it would last. It was a crazy adventure, but one he was certain would simply end in a flicker. He had asked you to get all the lessons for him that he would miss, so he wouldn't struggle too much when he would come back in a couple of weeks.

And to be honest, you thought the same about the whole thing as he did. It wasn't that you didn't believe in him enough, because you did. If there was one person that you trusted and believed in on this Earth, it was Harry. And you had heard him sing before, you knew he had talent, even if it was a little raw for now. You did not doubt though that he was full of potential, and with some hard work, could definitely stand a chance. But he was also a sixteen-year-old boy, from this little English town you called home where nothing happened, and he was your best friend. You had known each other since you were five. It was almost impossible for you to imagine him as anything else but the goofy teenager he was when around you. So, a professional singer? It was improbable up to a hilarious degree.

Still, you were nervous and sad at the sight of Harry checking the content of his backpack one last time, checking if he had everything. He would be leaving early the next morning. It was the last evening you would share before he was off for an unknown period of time, and even if you both assumed it would be but a short one, it was still scary to think about how you didn't know when you would next see him. Maybe it was simply because it had never happened before, you guessed so, at the very least. Anything unknown was scary, after all.

Harry was trying to keep a calm façade, but you were far from a fool, and knew perfectly well that he was, in reality, terrified about the whole endeavour. After all, he was going to be leaving his home for some time. Any sixteen-year-old would find the mere thought terrifying.

After you brought all of his bags to the hallway by the front door, ready for his journey the next day, you settled for a while in the kitchen, where you prepared some toasts and sandwiches for your dinner. Anne was working late, and would not be coming home for another hour or so, which meant that Harry and you could enjoy some quality time together for a little longer.

You both laughed as you almost burned down the kitchen preparing the toasts, both of you pretending for that time that everything was normal. It was almost as if you had both silently came to the agreement that for that evening, while the two of you were alone cooking in the kitchen, his journey of the next day was but a reverie, and instead, the next morning would simply be the beginning of a normal day.

You talked about video games, and TV shows you found funny but stupid, and school. You couldn't really describe why talking with Harry was so different to talking to anyone else. It was just so easy. Fluent. It came without an effort, and it seemed that the two of you could have been left there for hours on your own and would still have found some things to say to each other, some new topic to discuss. You had always attributed that trait of his to the fact that he was your best friend, and had been so for such a long time. Knowing him so well meant that there wasn't much you didn't dare to do in front of him. You weren't afraid to be yourself when he was around, never had been.

And for a long time, you reckoned that it was simply explained by you seeing a brother in him. A twin of sort that you had never had. But as puberty started its work, and your mind embraced new possible explanations and understood new kinds of relationships, you wondered if a brotherly bond was really what united so closely the two of you.

Because you weren't sure that it was all there was to it, really. Maybe, it wasn't the reason why you didn't like his girlfriends. Maybe it wasn't why you were so sad to say goodbye tonight. Maybe it wasn't why you trusted him so blindly all the time. Why you always forgave him.

But you were young, and you weren't quite sure yet of what you felt meant. Maybe you were just trying to figure yourself out, and were making a fuss of nothing.

Or maybe, Harry meant something else to you than a brother.

All you knew was that when the conversation finally quietened, slowing down to reach a full stop that filled the room with silence, his departure on the tip of both your tongues once more, you were sad and afraid like you had never been before.

"We should wash the dishes," Harry threw one last attempt at avoiding the floating threat hovering in the comfortable silence. One last ammunition used to keep his fear at bay for a little longer, and instead, bathe in your presence for a little longer.

He couldn't really explain how he felt about you. It wasn't something he had felt with the few girls he had been with before, and it wasn't either a level of intimacy that he had ever reached with any other of his friends. You were in that special box in his heart, that had only your name on it, and no one else's. More than a friend, but not a girlfriend either. Somehow, you were more than that to him. You were family to him. But he didn't see you like a sister either. Maybe he had for a while, but it slowly yet irremediably changed along the past few years. He wasn't sure to understand what that box your name lived in inside his heart was, but he was okay with that, for now. Sixteen was young after all, to understand matters of the heart.

For now, he simply wanted to be with you whenever he could, and that was enough.

He started to wash the plates in the sink, while you grabbed a clothe and started to dry the cutlery.

You didn't notice the glances he threw towards your direction, and he didn't notice the way your eyes lingered on his features as if to carve them into memory either. It was an unspoken, halfway type of zone you had settled in. It was hard to escape it now.

"Are you worried about tomorrow?" you asked, breaking the long silence that had settled in the kitchen, broken only by the distant murmur of cars passing by the street, and the water running from the faucet.

Had it been anyone else, Harry would have probably lied and pretended that he was perfectly fine.

But then, it was you, standing in that special little box of yours, and despite how fragile it made him feel, he answered you anyway.

"Yeah… I'm a bit nervous."

"I mean, I reckon it's normal to be so."

"Yeah… I mean, it's all new and I don't really know what will happen. And… huh… I think… It's gonna be hard to be away, I guess. I think I'll miss my mum a lot. And… and you too."

You stared at him for a moment, yellow photons from the lamp above your heads getting caught in the wild curls of his hair. He seemed a little lost. He was just a boy, after all.

You nudged him, trying to make him feel better.

"Hey, don't worry. I'm sure you'll be alright. Besides, you'll have fun, and make new friends over there, I'm sure. You will barely notice I'm not here."

He frowned, looking hurt at your statement, and you wondered why.

"You really think I would forget about you?" he asked, his voice a little too low, a little too deep, a little too fragile.

You shook your head, but he could see in the way you fidgeted with the cloth that you were not completely earnest with him.

"Of course not. I know you won't."

He turned off the water, the silence becoming deafening while he took his time to turn fully towards you, drying his hands on his worn-out jeans. Meanwhile, you were drying a plate, or at least, faking to do so, for there was no more water to sweep away across the porcelain. But it was easier to rub the white plate than to look at your friend at that moment.

"Hey, look at me."

When you stubbornly kept your eyes on this plate you kept on drying, Harry gently rested his hands upon yours, successfully interrupting your movements.

"Y/N. Please."

You let him take the plate away from you, putting it away before taking your chin in between his fingers to force you to turn to him. He wasn't surprised to find withheld tears glimmering in your eyes, yet the sight broke his heart all the same.

He couldn't see you cry. Never had been able to. He would have done anything to make you smile, and it had been so since the two of you were five.

He gave you a tender, reassuring smile.

"You're stupid sometimes, you know that?"

You frowned at that, taken aback. If anything, you weren't expecting that kind of response from him. But it wasn't all that he had to say.

"I could never forget you, you dummy. You're my best friend. You're… You're special to me. And whatever happens, I will never ever forget about you. Okay?"

You looked down at your feet, fleeing his green eyes that seemed to pierce right through all the pieces of armoury you had built around your soul. You nodded, slowly, your throat too tight to speak. But you weren't so worried anymore.

"You're not gonna forget about me either, are you?" he asked, his voice fragile again too.

You smiled one more time, looking up to find yourself trapped in the green hues of his irises.

"Now, you're being the silly one. Of course not. Besides, you'll be back in two weeks, tops. You're not half as charming as you think you are."

"Aren't I?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows in a ridiculous way, making you laugh.

"No, you're not."

As you both fell quiet again, you suddenly seemed hype-aware of Harry's hold on your chin, that hadn't wavered throughout your exchange. He brushed his thumb across the soft skin, making you gasp.

And all of a sudden, there was a shift between the two of you. The air across the room seemed to be filled with electricity, growing denser, and maybe it was why both of you found it harder to breathe. Or maybe it was the way you both lost yourselves in each other's eyes in a way you never had before.

You caught him as he glimpsed down at your lips. You noticed the way his eyes travelled across your mouth, as if he was hesitating, weighing his options. You saw his Adam's apple jumping as he struggled to swallow the lump that was growing in his throat. When his gaze flickered back to meet yours though, both of you could barely breathe at all, your two hearts stomping under your ribcages.

His hold on your chin had become more of a caress than a hold: gentle, brushing of fingertips against your skin, giving you back complete freedom of your movements. Yet, you didn't want to move away at all.

And when Harry leaned closer to you, it was your turn to glance at his lips, watching the two lines barely parted fall towards yours. And when you realized what he was doing, you stopped breathing altogether.

Because Harry was about to kiss you.

But then he stopped, merely an inch or so away, his breath fanning and brushing your lips, warm and staggering, uncertain through uneven pants. And he was absolutely sure that he had never felt anything as intense as this moment in his entire short life.

But he stopped, because it was you he was about to kiss. His best friend. And even if you lived in that special box in his heart, even if, to him, maybe it meant that you were more than just a friend to him, you were way too important for him to take any uncalculated risk. So instead of closing the gap between your mouths, he stood still, in his kitchen under the yellowish light of the lamp, fingers still a little wet from washing the dishes, or maybe it was more because of how nervous he was. He needed to give you a chance to step back and stop him.

So, he blinked a few times, staring at your eyes with a silent question in his green irises. To which you answered by leaning closer to him too.

So… you didn't want him to stop?

He moved his hand up your jaw, cupping your cheek instead, closing his eyes and focusing on how warm the air leaving your lungs was against his face, breaths mingling together halfway between your parted lips.

And you were about to meet when the front door of Harry's house loudly opened.

"Harry! Y/N! I'm home!"

Both you and Harry jumped away from each other as Anne was ruffling in the hallway, probably taking off her shoes and coat.

In the kitchen, you both shied away. The moment had passed, broken, and you both knew that there wasn't going to be any other moment for you to be alone before Harry would leave.

Harry looked over his shoulder, and before his mother would appear, he hurried to take your hand in his.

He seemed frightened, and a little frantic. A little desperate too, still struggling to catch his breath.

"We'll talk about it when I come back."

You stared at him intensely, and he took your other hand in his as well.

"It's a promise. We'll talk about what just happened when I come back, okay? Cause… that… that was a thing. Right?"

"Yeah… yeah I think it… was a thing."

He struggled to swallow, stuttering a little as he let down his armour before you completely, and with a shaky voice asked one more question.

"Will you… would you wait for me?"

You gave him a reassuring smile, and to his hands you gifted a tender squeeze.

"I will. I'll wait for you."

II.

Loch Lomond, 2020

Harry was pretty when he slept.

Not that he was ever not pretty, you reckoned that Harry was a very handsome man in general. But there was something soft in the way he looked when he slept, peaceful, that you really loved.

Maybe it was his parted lips, or the soft sound of air leaving his lungs in a perfectly regular rhythm. The occasional little crease between his brow that appeared and vanished at the rhythm of his dreams. Or the way his eyelids trembled a little sometimes before growing still again, eyelashes perfectly bent in the most graceful curve barely disturbed by the movement at all. Or perhaps it was how messy his hair became as they rubbed against the pillow.

But you could hardly deny that the main reason was that Harry always grabbed whatever he could during the night and held onto it for dear life throughout the rest of the night. To ensure that he would not disturb your sleep – and knowing Harry, probably also because he was worried it would make you uncomfortable – he had hold onto a pillow for the first evening, making sure that he would not end up curled around you instead. And it had worked, the two of you waking up peacefully on each side of the bed.

But not today.

This morning, you opened your eyes to find that the reason why you felt so warm and snuggled up was because you were safely tucked in Harry's side, his arms wrapped around you and his nose almost brushing yours, face resting at the edge of his own pillow, legs tangled in a mess of limbs. A quick glance across the bed revealed that the pillow he was hugging when you went to bed the previous night was nowhere to be seen. You guessed that Harry had dropped it to the floor during the night, turned around, probably wearing across his features a grumpy little pout as he tossed and turned while still mostly asleep, until he found your form sleeping soundly on the other side of the mattress. And then, well, the rest was easy to guess given your current position.

There was a little voice in your head that kept on telling you to pull away. That you should have felt uneasy with your current position. And had it been anyone but Harry, yes, you guessed that you would have been uncomfortable right now and would have freed yourself with little regard for the other person's sleep. But the thing was, it was Harry.

It was Harry all cuddled up around you, holding you close, and you didn't feel uncomfortable at all. You felt safe and warm and taken care of. Because it was Harry holding you. Harry who had always been here for you, since your early childhood. You felt so safe with him all the time after all, this morning waking up in his arms wasn't different. It was safe, the same way you always felt whenever he was around.

It was barely dawn and the orange light of the rising sun bathed the room a colourful hue. It was still quite dark, despite the deep orange shades of the beams licking at the walls. Particles of light were caught in his wild curls, brown tainted with orange, and you spent long minutes studying the changes in the colours, the way the light made his cheeks look a little pinker, the way it seemed to hug his jawline, and was left stranded across his eyelashes and the stubble that coloured his skin. It took all of your strengths to refrain yourself from running your fingers across the swallows tattooed on his upper chest, but you were too scared of waking him if you did so. You couldn't help but stare at them though, the black ink rising and falling with his regular breathing. He was still wearing his cross necklace around his neck, the gold reflecting the morning light. It wasn't the first time that you saw him with a bare chest, and it wasn't the first either that he hugged you without a shirt on. But it didn't stop you from shivering in the best way when he moved his arm around you ever so slightly, his bare skin sliding across your own bare arms. Because you were trapped in his arms, your arms folded between your two bodies, your hands were pressed against your chest. But now that your eyes were settling on his skin again, a little tanned and looking so invitingly smooth, you really couldn't summon enough willpower to not reach across the inches-long gap between your hand and his chest, and you gently rested your palm against his heart. You could feel the organ beating under his skin and muscles, little rhythm pulsing through your skin. Regular, soothing, safe. Just like Harry.

After a long while staring at him, with a smile across your lips you hadn't even noticed, your gaze moved across the room to settle upon the window instead, and you watched the quiet waters of the loch as it reflected the bright gold and orange of the sky. With the trees alongside the shores also covered with autumnal hues, it looked as if someone had painted the entire scene in shades of ochre. It was peaceful, a landscape still barely awake, that only the wind carrying freshly fallen skeleton leaves seemed able to disturb.

You didn't know for how long you had remained like this, staring at the landscape outside, safely tugged in Harry's warmth, when he finally started to stir and wake up. You turned to him again just in time to catch his eyes fluttering open, green irises appearing in the early morning light that fell upon your face instantly, as if they had been looking for you as a reflex. A bright smile appeared on his lips at the sight of your dishevelled and freshly awaken form in his arms.

"Morning," he mumbled, sleep making his voice deeper than usual, raw and warm.

"Good morning," you answered with a smile of your own.

He snuggled closer to you, until you were tugged under his chin, so he could bury his face in your hair, inhaling the addicting fragrance of your shampoo.

You were so warm against him. He could feel your hand pressed to his chest, and the mere touch was enough to set his whole body on fire. Your smell was reassuring, so reassuring, like the scent of something familiar, the scent of an old memory. And he felt so safe like this, with you in his arms. Invincible. Yes, that was the word. He felt invincible, like nothing bad could ever happen while he held you as close as he did now.

Why hadn't he done that sooner? It felt amazing.

His eyes snapped open when the thought finished to form in his mind.

Why hadn't he done that sooner? Because you were just a friend.

He quickly unwrapped his arms from around you, pushing himself away and in his haste to put distance between your two bodies, falling from the bed and onto the wooden floor and the pillow that had grown cold after he had lost it during the night. He let out a loud 'ouch', and when you peered beyond the bed, Harry was rubbing his arse cheek through his sweatpants. And you couldn't stop yourself from laughing at him.

"You alright down there?"

"Oh shut up!" he fought back, looking all pouty and grumpy, and you found the sight so ridiculously adorable that you had to laugh to stop yourself from melting instead.

"Are you alright? Did you hurt yourself?" you asked a little more seriously.

"My butt and my ego will be equally bruised by the incident for a few days," he replied, but he couldn't refrain a smile of his own as the situation was rather hilarious.

You laughed at that, but grew silent again when he finally looked up at you. He seemed uncomfortable, running a hand in his hair. Embarrassed, even. And for some reason, it hurt to see him react like this.

"I… I'm sorry."

"About?"

"About… how we woke up," he apologized, stumbling on his words and stuttering a little. "I… I must have lost my pillow during the night."

"I had figured that much."

"I… I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."

"You didn't. It's okay."

He gave you a hopeful stare.

"Really?"

"Yeah, really," you nodded. "I mean, you were just hugging me, not much to say about it."

Nothing much to say about it? Then why was your heart still beating this fast just thinking about it then?

"I… you sure you're okay?"

You rolled your eyes at him.

"Yes, I'm sure. It's fine."

"Oh. Okay."

Harry had to admit that he was surprised that you were taking this so… well. As if it didn't have any meaning at all. When he had woken up cuddling you, holding you as close as he could.

As he finally stumbled back to his feet, he had to admit that he was not just surprised, he was also a little disappointed. Because he didn't take the situation as lightly as you did, and that was because…

He pushed the thought away before it could finish forming in his mind. He didn't need to think about this at all. It was all something from the past. He was over it. Had been for a while. No need to think of it again.

"Right. Well, still, I'm sorry."

"You were asleep, it's alright."

"You should have woken me up."

"I… I was barely awake myself, hadn't really processed what was going on yet."

It was a lie, but he seemed to buy it.

"Oh… okay."

"Besides, I've noticed by now how clingy you can be!" you joked, making him chuckle.

"Right… uhm… I'm gonna go take a shower, and then we can go grab a bite for breakfast, yeah?"

"Sure, you can take the shower first."

"Thanks."

And indeed, Harry was grateful that you granted him access to the bathroom first. Because he could hide how much he was blushing in there.

***********************************************************

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