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theresthesnitch · 3 years

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Bathed in the Moonlight

A/N: I mentioned recently that I'm writing a Wolfstar AU (a snippet can be found here!), which will have an explicit rating. However, I realized that I had never actually written smut featuring two men. Which led me to the decision that I needed to practice, because practice smut is a thing that people do. While this won't actually appear in my multichapter fic, I though you might enjoy it anyway.

Rated M above the cut, but explicit below. You can also read it here on AO3 (where kudos and comments are like warm hugs).

***

He stood there, naked other than the light of the waning gibbous moon, and Remus thought he had never looked more beautiful. His dark hair fell in long, silken tresses that just twisted at his shoulders. His grey eyes shone brightly in the pale light as though incandescent in their own right. And his skin - his skin was everything.

Remus drug his eyes along the sleek planes of Sirius's body, his skin smooth and unmarred, rolling out before him like a clean slate that simply begged to be kissed, to be licked, to be bitten. Remus longed to memorize every peak and valley, study the lines and angles with his tongue as guide. He was in awe of the man I standing in front of him, and though he knew Sirius' mind better than he knew his own, he yearned to learn the secrets his body had to tell.

For the space of a heartbeat, he remembered that he, too, was naked and standing in front of Sirius, and he remembered that his own body looked nothing like the statuesque Adonis that stood in front of him, and for that heartbeat, Remus considered feeling shame and covering himself to hide the scars that littered his body as best he could behind his rough and calloused hands. The heartbeat passed and Remus looked into those piercing grey eyes and almost staggered under the weight of what he saw there - want, hunger, desire, lust. - and all of it directed at Remus.

They stood there, taking each other in, neither one daring to move so as not to risk breaking the moment that was growing between them. They knew they stood atop a great precipice, and that to jump was to risk everything. Six years they had been friends. Six years since those little boys stood in their dorm room and shook hands. Oh, the things those six years contained! Numerous pranks and tricks that earned them a moniker known round the castle. Countless jokes and laughs that still sometimes echoed around the common room. An infinite number of tiny moments that seemed insignificant on their own, and yet added together, created a magnitude of friendship and life. One giant, life-changing secret that, once shared, was a burden halved. One enormous gift that granted the wolf a pack and lessened his burden even more. One near tragic mistake that almost cost them everything. One year of reconciliation and penance and, finally, absolution. And now?

And now they stood on the edge of all of that, ready to risk it all if they could just…

Remus didn't know if he moved, or if Sirius moved, or perhaps they both moved together - but it didn't matter now because their lips were pressed together, hungry and wanting, seeking more and taking more. Remus felt Sirius' tongue press along the lines of his lips, and he opened to grant him access. He placed one hand on Sirius's waist and carded one through his hair until he was gripping the locks at the nape of his neck and pulling slightly as Sirius' head fell back and his neck was exposed. Remus trailed kisses along his jaw and down his neck, nipping and sucking slightly, eliciting the most delicious moans out of the other man's throat.

Sirius' hands fell low on Remus' hips, his thumb tracing light circles in the dip of his skin. Remus felt his skin ignite under his fingertips, lightning shooting throughout his body and lighting him on fire. He felt a low growl grow in his chest, unsure if it was from him or some remnant of the wolf that had only just nights ago laid claim to Remus' body. He felt Sirius react to that low sound, drawing his body closer and offering more of himself to the rough ministrations of Remus' lips.

As Sirius drew his body closer to his own, Remus felt the long, hard length at the crest of the other man's legs press into his thigh, and Remus was filled with want.

Remus walked them both toward the bed, an careful negotiation of legs and feet, until the backs of Sirius' knees pressed against the bed and they were both falling onto it, a tangle of limbs and lips and lust. Remus moved on top of Sirius, and pressed their bodies together, and both sighed in some mix of relief and need as their hardness met between them. Their mouths met again, and Remus rutted slowly against Sirius, acclimating his body to the unique pleasure of being lined up like this with this man after he had spent so many nights longing for him.

Sirius released a needy moan into Remus' mouth, which he happily captured and replied with increasingly passionate kisses. He thrust, again and again, relishing in the friction of their cocks rocking together, lubricated by the precum that was readily leaking between them.

They shifted, and Remus' knees slotted between Sirius' legs, and their bodies moved somehow impossibly closer together. Their kisses deepened, and Remus' hands ran long lines down Sirius's abdomen. Their hands met at Remus' hips, and he brought Sirius's hands over his head, their fingers entwined and clenched together in the sheets above them.

The silence was broken by Sirius's sharp intake of breath, and then -

"Remus, Rem - " he gasped out. Remus moved his lips down Sirius' jaw and to his ear, where he nipped at his ear lobe. "Remus, I've never - ah - I've never done this before."

Remus pulled back slightly, and pushed himself up enough to look Sirius in the eyes. He saw the hesitation there, behind the want and need that overpowered everything else. "What do you mean?" Communal dorm rooms do not hold secrets well, and Remus knew that Sirius was not inexperienced, having been with both men and women before. It killed Remus to hear of these conquests, but he knew that Sirius had done this before.

"I've never - ah -" Sirius looked a little bashful, almost shy, and if he hadn't been stalling what was turning out to be a near transcendent experience, Remus might have even found it cute. "I've never been on the receiving end of this."

Oh. Oh. "Do you want to stop? Or, um, we could do something else?"

"No," Sirius replied bluntly. "No, I want to, with you. I just - ah -"

Remus smiled, and returned to placing kisses on the soft skin under his ear. "We can take this slow," he whispered in Sirius' ear, and felt the man tremble beneath him.

"Yes," came the near breathless reply. Anything else he might have wanted to say was lost in a series of gasps and moans shared between them.

Remus moved slightly away from Sirius, granting himself the room to work. Sirius whined slightly at the loss, and Remus smiled down at him.

"I'm going to prep you now." Sirius nodded his consent, and Remus reached for his wand on the table next to them. He cast the cleaning and lubrication charms, and felt Sirius shudder below him, knowing he felt the warm slickness fill him. He cast the charm again on his fingers, and moved his hand between them until his finger found the puckered hole.

Sirius let out a low moan as Remus began running his finger in slow circles around the hole, teasing but not penetrating yet. He waited until Sirius was brimming with want. "We will go slow, but only when you are ready."

Sirius hesitated for only a moment before nodding, and Remus broke through that tight ring. He stilled, only the tip of his finger within the other man, until he grew accustomed to the intrusion. Slowly he slid his finger deeper and deeper, until it was lost inside Sirius. He slowly slid his finger out, and then glided it back in again, and again, and again, until Sirius was moaning with the pleasure of it.

"Ready for another one?" He teased the entrance again with his second finger, the tip of the first still inside, and waited for the hesitation to cross Sirius's face and for him to nod again. A second finger slipped inside, and Remus repeated the process of slowly sliding in and out. He moved his fingers more freely, scissoring and spreading them to stretch the other man. He felt his own cock jump slightly in anticipation, already seeking the warm heat that waited buried inside Sirius.

"Another one?" Remus asked, third finger already poised to penetrate him. The nod came quicker this time, all hesitation lost to the sensation of fingers and the anticipation of what was still to come. Remus worked slowly still, despite every desire within him wanting this part to be done so that they could just get on with it. This time he moved his other hand to Sirius's hard cock, stroking him gently in time with the thrust of his finger. He moved his finger to find the sensitive spot within the other man and pressed, gripping his other hand at the base to prevent any unintentional release as Sirius arched his back into Remus' hand.

"You're ready for me," Remus said, sliding his fingers slowly in and out again. "You're so beautiful. Let me know when I can continue."

"Please," came the breathy reply that was part consent but mostly plea.

Remus smiled, and found himself unable to resist. "Please what?" He lined the spell-slickened head of his cock up to Sirius' prepared hole, and gently teased the sensitive area.

Sirius groaned under him. "Please, Remus."

Remus chuckled, not sure where this sudden resolve was coming from. "You're going to have to say it, Sirius, so I know you want it."

Sirius whined something that sounded almost more Padfoot than human, and the wolf within Remus roared in his chest. "Please, Remus, please." A moment passed, and Remus held his breath and didn't move as he waited. "Please fuck me."

The tight ring opened and slid around Remus until just the bell end was inside, and they both let out matching moans. Remus slid slowly inside Sirius, bit by bit, until he was sheathed completely in the other man. They stayed there for a moment, allowing their bodies to adjust to the new sensation.

"Ready?" Remus saw Sirius nod, eyes closed but a look of pure bliss etched on his features. Remus moved slowly at first, giving Sirius time to adjust to the sensations, before increasing the pace and pressure of each thrust.

"Alright?" Remus struggled to keep his steady motion instead of giving over to the sensations surrounding him, wanting to make sure that Sirius enjoyed this as much as he did.

"Remus." His name came out as part growl, drenched in passion and still more Padfoot than human. "Shut up and fuck me."

Remus dropped all pretense and lost himself within Sirius. He lowered his body on top of Sirius', and slid his hands down Sirius's arms until their fingers were once again entwined over their heads. He plunged deeply, quickly, filling Sirius again and again, feeling every inch of uncharted territory inside of him. With every thrust, he felt the wolf inside claiming the man, the dog, for his own - mine, mine, mine. Sirius lay beneath him, arching up and pulling Remus closer with his ankles crossed behind his back, and every motion felt like a resounding reply - yours, yours, yours. They moved together, danced together, and became one in the steady rhythm of their bodies.

It was not long - or maybe it was hours, for Remus was so lost in this moment that it could have been days passing - before he felt Sirius's breath quicken beneath him, and felt him contract around him. Remus released Sirius's hand and moved his own between them, gripping and stroking Sirius's hard length, coaxing him to the edge until he finally released, spilling over Remus' hand and onto his chest. Remus thrust once, twice, three times more until he too found release buried within Sirius.

Remus collapsed on top of Sirius, still inside of him and sweat mingling with come on their chests between them. Sirius dropped his arms from over their heads and wrapped them around Remus' neck. He peppered kisses on Remus' head and cheeks while Remus felt his heart rate and his breathing slow.

Remus rolled off of Sirius, feeling himself at last slip out, and reached back to grab his wand. He cast cleaning charms over both of them, and then a cooling charm for good measure, and drew Sirius against his chest, legs and arms entangled. They lay there together, quiet and comfortable in each other's presence. Remus vaguely recalled this moment was supposed to feel awkward - the quiet negotiation of how long was too long to stay entwined this way before shuffling away - but none of that seemed to matter now. There was only quiet contentment.

Remus felt himself drifting off into what promised to be a deep and restful sleep when he felt Sirius shift next to him.

"Remus?" Remus hummed in response, words lost at the edge of sleep. "You're beautiful, too."

#wolfstar #wolfstar smut #PWP #gratuitous smut #harry potter #sirius black #remus lupin #remus x sirius #practice smut #snitchwrites

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miaouerie · 4 years

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whumptober 2020 ------ day 31. left for dead

@whumptober2020 Rebelcaptain Hunger Games AU: Cassian is Jyn’s mentor in the 70th Hunger Games. After being crowned victor at fifteen years old, Cassian is all-too-familiar with what it takes to bring a tribute home, and what becoming a victor really means.

content warnings: implied/referenced torture, mentions of attempted suicide, referenced brainwashing/conditioning, nonconsensual body modification, references to forced prostitution, references to forced drug use, unhappy/ambiguous ending

A/N: if downer endings aren’t quite your thing, I’ve written an alternate ending here, as well as additional author’s notes in a coda here. this is my first completed multichapter and thank you to everyone who has kept up with this story! any additional fics in this verse will be posted to my ao3.

previous: day 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17 / 18 / 19 / 20 / 21 / 22 / 23 / 24 / 25 / 26 / 27 / 28 / 29 / 30 / → read on AO3

When Draven gets the call to escort Cassian from the Remake Center back to their district floor in the Tributes’ Tower and stand by for a forthcoming itinerary, he doesn’t need to see his charge to know that something fundamentally wrong has happened.

The last time his schedule began with picking up Cassian from the Remake Center was that period of time after his father died, which Draven now knows the truth about. But at the time he had been told that after Jeron Andor and Irga Torres were killed in a power plant explosion that a seditioner was blamed for, Cassian tried to kill himself out of grief. After two weeks in the Capitol of being monitored in extensive in-patient therapy, he was turned over to Draven to be ushered through the media press tour for his father’s death.

How Cassian behaved back then is eerily similar to how he presently is in Draven’s custody. He’s sitting in the backseat and relaxed against the headrest, but Draven has known Cassian long enough that the lines of stress pinning him in place are plain to see. His hands folded, in his lap. Facing forward, staring ahead at nothing. A tic in his jaw, barely perceptible but one that Draven catches all the same.

But what disturbs Draven are his eyes. Unlike that first time Draven picked him up from the Remake Center, they aren’t pained or filled with misery. They’re empty, in an unrecognizable way that Draven has never seen in him before.

After furtively investigating the intendance records kept of his charge for the past four years, Draven knows what really happens when Cassian is brought to the Capitol for ‘extensive in-patient therapy’. But for a brief moment he feels something revoltingly similar to gratitude that Cassian’s conditioning is strict about needless eye contact.

Next morning’s briefing packet sent to his datapad has a subfolder tagged with “SENSITIVE INFORMATION: DO NOT DISCLOSE,” to be unlocked with a retinal scan. It’s a copy of Jyn Erso’s medical record and an image of a bedside chart; last night she was transported from District 5 to an elite hospital in the Capitol for treatment of a stubborn respiratory illness.

Draven knew better than to ask questions—those who did had their tongues cut out and turned into Avoxes—but he quietly looks into the matter himself while performing his job’s duties for Cassian, whose schedule is booking up like it did during the Games. Taking every precaution available to avoid detection prolongs the search, but eventually he is able to determine that Jyn’s condition is a lie. That there is no proof that Jyn is even in the Capitol.

And then, he realizes, they must not know where she is at all.

Cassian’s body language used to telegraph his condition after an appointment but he doesn’t seem capable of it anymore. Nowadays, no matter how badly he’s been abused by a client, the posture he affects in the car is always the same: his hands folded, in his lap. Facing forward, staring ahead at nothing. A tic in his jaw, barely perceptible.

Whatever they had Cassian relearn in therapy included perfecting his talents as an obedient whore, so he’s not often returned in a state of intoxication as he once had to be. But it’s during those increasingly rare times—and only those times—that his tongue is loosened enough to let slip some of the perpetual torment he has to live with as punishment, because of Jyn Erso’s disappearance.

It’s one such night that Draven picks up Cassian at 03:01. After the car pulls away from the curb Cassian is still for a moment, before he heaves out a shuddery breath and his arms slump to his sides.

“Did you know they made it so I can’t say her name anymore?”

The words and their meaning take a moment to register with Draven. Then he says, “What?”

“No… I don’t think they would have told you. But I mean, her. My tribute. The one I saved.”

He can only be talking about Jyn Erso. Draven doesn’t say anything but he doesn’t have to; tonight, Cassian is giving voice to another painful truth.

“They asked me questions about her, had me read sentences aloud… made me give responses with her name in it. And they would hurt me, every single time I said it, so I can’t say it. Not without pain. Not anymore.”

His raspy confession is made to the silence. “Her name was like a prayer to me. Snow must have noticed, so he took it away.” A broken chuckle. “I didn’t think something like that was possible. But, they made me learn.”

Draven doesn’t know if he should be hearing this. But when he turns to give his full attention to his charge it’s like a switch is flipped. When their eyes meet Cassian’s eyes widen before he bolts himself back into place—hands back in his lap and looking straight forward.

The only thing betraying his vulnerability are the tears in his eyes.

It should not surprise Draven that Cassian tries to kill himself not long after that lapse in conduct, but it still does. At least, it’s a surprise in the sense that finding out a peer of two decades attempted suicide will always come as a surprise.

The Peacekeepers come when Draven is in the sitting room, waiting for Cassian to finish showering before Kay and his prep team arrive. One moment there’s the ding of the elevator arriving on their floor and in the next, six Peacekeepers are storming in.

Draven knows better than to demand answers in the heat of the moment so he stays out of their way, listens to the sound of the bathroom door breaking and boots stomping over shattered glass, listens to the sound of Cassian’s—frankly animalistic—screams as he’s subdued, and stays out of the way once again when they drag him out naked and wet and dripping blood from his arms and neck. They stand him there until a Peacekeeper returns from the bathroom with a dark fluffy green bathrobe for his modesty, and then he’s taken away.

When they make fleeting eye contact Draven is struck by the scathing accusation in his charge’s eyes. He wasn’t the one who called for the Peacekeepers but Cassian doesn’t know that, and Draven knows what it looks like. But there’s nothing he can say to Cassian in any case, nothing that can change the outcome of whatever has been decided to change next about him.

Draven is scheduled to pick up Cassian from the Remake Center two weeks later. He has to walk into the lobby because the lead cognitive remake specialist has requested to talk to him, to show and demonstrate Cassian’s new implant.

It’s a very thin line of a scar on the back of Cassian’s neck, invisible to the naked eye but Draven can feel it when he brushes his fingers over the skin; beneath is a subdermal neuro-electrical node, grafted onto the nerves there. The specialist explains that when activated, it prevents Cassian from making sudden or any ‘suspiciously motivated’ movements. The remote that they give to Draven is for disabling it. Later on, Draven is assigned the responsibility of disabling its function for Cassian’s appointments as well as reenabling it after each one in turn.

Neither says a word as they get into the waiting car. They don’t speak for the whole car ride back, either. But more than once Draven sees Cassian’s hand creep to the back of his neck; his fingers slowly brush the scar tissue, before his hand is carefully guided back to his lap.

It proves very challenging to track where Cassian had been taken after his suicide attempt; Draven is always diligent about maintaining stealth when conducting these probes, but the seriousness of the situation called for significant preventive precautions to be taken. But once he succeeded…

…Then what?

He was able to determine that Cassian was taken to the same complex—in truth, one of several privately held black site facilities—for another two weeks of ‘in-patient therapy’ before he was transferred to the Remake Center. His process uncovered an entire network of similar private corporations and entities that operated under the purview of the government, all funded by the Hunger Games division for one apparent purpose: the victors’ covert diversion program.

But this devastative information only came about as a consequence from his attempts to satisfy an aberrant concern for Cassian’s whereabouts; Draven wasn’t planning on actively doing anything with it. Even the thought alone is treasonous: believing that victors deserved anything less than the hell that came pursuant on winning the Games was just a step below believing that the districts of Panem deserved anything more than the destitution and squalor left to them after the Dark Days. The victors’ diversion program was devised and implemented to prevent victors from believing that winning the Games meant anything other than being punished for it. Repeatedly. Because even if a new victor is crowned every year, the real winner of the Hunger Games will always remain the Capitol.

This is what Draven has always known. But then… there was Cassian.

He had come to know the boy at six years old, the first year Draven received the assignment to escort not only Irga and Jeron to the town plaza for District 5′s reaping, but the latter’s wife and son as well. Only one of the two living District 5 victors had a family, and now that Cassian was old enough to understand how to behave the Games producers wanted reaction shots of Jeron’s wife and child.

Their acquaintance proceeded as such—twice a year Draven saw the Andor boy, first at the reaping and again when escorting Jeron and Irga home after the closing ceremonies. Though he chose not to indulge in the sentiment, seeing Cassian grow up through the years in such a manner often left Draven with a feeling similar to how he felt after visiting with once-a-year relatives during Wintermas.

After Cassian was reaped and won his Games, Draven’s duties as District 5’s escort were officially recategorized with Cassian as his primary charge, relegating Jeron and Irga to second priority; if they needed to be chaperoned somewhere while he was with Cassian, there was express authorization to send a number of Peacekeepers to complete the task. But for the purpose that President Snow intended to use Cassian for, only a Games escort with discretionary expertise could do.

Draven’s choice of career tended to attract a lot of airheads and grifters, those who relished in schmoozing up sponsors or otherwise gunning for a glimpse of the glory and glamor awarded to a winning victor’s support team. But Draven derived his dedication to the job solely from esteem in his own competence; perhaps that was why the president believed his silence on Cassian being groomed and Jeron remaining unaware of it was guaranteed.

Did the president, in all of his scheming, ever consider the possibility of Draven going rogue? But even if he did tell Jeron of what President Snow was doing to his son it wouldn’t have changed the outcome; Cassian’s placement into a mentoring position could only be accomplished by leaving District 5’s mentorship short of a victor. Plus, he would have had his tongue cut out and turned into an Avox if Snow found out; if Peacekeepers were dispatched to interrupt Cassian’s suicide attempt quickly enough to thwart it, his treachery would have inevitably been discovered.

And where would that leave Cassian?

Another escort would be assigned, one who didn’t mind enabling Cassian after an assignment when he comes back horny and drunk or high, or in the mood for taking out his self-loathing on the only person available. Those moments of weakness never failed to stun Draven with their impact—they were cruel reminders of the fact that he is the only person in the Capitol who sees what became of a tormented boy, now constrained to his life as a tormented prisoner.

But Cassian’s new conditioning doesn’t seem to allow for any moments of weakness. Or rather, the implant doesn’t. His movements are mechanized and deliberate, calculated to avoid triggering the parameters for a shock, yet fluid enough that evidently he was put through his paces by his captors. Until he was well-trained, and conditioned, and became devoid of any expression at all.

Suffice to say, they don’t talk anymore. What is there left to say? Nothing, not until Draven receives an update on Jyn Erso’s health status. Then a personal summons to President Snow’s office.

The president and a trio of his advisors are waiting for Draven. The situation with District 5’s new victor has turned critical; even with the Capitol’s elite medical advancements, Jyn is not responding well to treatment.

Draven knows it’s all lies but he agrees along with their assessment. Jyn’s untimely death before the Victory Tour may be unavoidable, and the Capitol needs to control the story behind the cause to control the public’s reaction to her death. Her condition has been kept secret in anticipation of this very situation; several contingency plans to stage been drawn up, each optimized to account for potential blowback between the Capitol and the districts.

While each plan is pitched to weather Snow’s criticism, Draven doesn’t let any confusion or concern cross his face. Not when the president’s snakelike eyes are on his every time Draven chances a glance. He knows Snow is observing his reaction to this authoritarian show of might—whatever choice is made here will have a ripple effect throughout all of Panem, going much further than the conflict between President Snow and the victors of District 5. Expectably, Draven isn’t asked for any input, but he knows that’s not what he’s been called here for.

After the advisors are dismissed Draven stands alone, a respectable distance away in front of Snow sitting at his desk; the president watches him awhile before he speaks. “So, Davits. You understand how imperative it is that we control the narrative, not just here within the Capitol but in the rest of Panem.”

“Of course, Mister President.”

“I’m sure, then, you understand the necessity of what was done to Cassian.” Snow gets up from behind his desk, circling around to lean against the dark mahogany facade with his arms crossed. His stance is still threatening despite its casual assertion; Draven almost takes a step back but he remains standing where he is.

“Jeron Andor mistakenly believed that he had enough power to take matters into his own hands; it can be only him who passed along the concept to young Cassian. One would think that his father’s fate taught him that attempting to do so can only end in tragedy. And yes,” he says in answer to the sudden clench of fear in Draven’s chest, “I’ve been made aware of your interloping efforts regarding Jeron and Miss Torres’ deaths. I concede that it was not a deception that accounted for close scrutiny. Rest assured that when your inquests were discovered, the advisor and those responsible for implementing the proposal were swiftly executed.”

The president continues, “I will not question your motives for investigating the matter. I am not commending your capabilities in doing so, either. But understand this: there is nothing for you to do here except your assigned function as District 5’s escort. Nothing less, and nothing more. An unfathomably simple request, yet if only Cassian had performed his role in the same capacity his implant would not have been deemed necessary. Undoubtedly you agree that rebellious actions such as his merit consequences tailored to their severity.”

Draven’s throat is dry but his voice remains steady. “Indeed, sir.”

Snow straightens himself upright. They’re both tall people but he does have an inch on Draven in height, and his next words are spoken in a voice both paternalistic and contemptuous. “No further harm has to befall the boy, but it will be your future discretion which will determine that. Now, have I made your situation clear?”

Snow doesn’t know the entirety of what Draven knows about the victor diversion program then. Yet. It may only be a matter of time before Peacekeepers are at his door. They wouldn’t kidnap him for ‘extensive in-patient therapy’, not when a bullet to the head would be quicker, cleaner, and most effectively ensure his silence.

There’s only one road for him to take now; he can no longer abide by what the Capitol is allowed to demand from Cassian, not when they claw for everything within reach to cement his enslavement.

Where will his charge be a year from now, or three? What else can they take from him?

How did Jeron live through nineteen years of this feeling?

It should feel daunting; the thought only registers later that night after Cassian is dropped off at the Tower and Draven is heading home. That finding a way to save Cassian will take everything he’s got, in order to go against everything he’s ever known. But Draven did not get this far in his life by second-guessing his choices, and he has never been so sure of one thing.

The next certainty is this: he’s got to find Jyn Erso.

#whumptober2020 #no.31 #left for dead #rogue one #the hunger games #fic #sacchi writes #cassian andor #davits draven #jyn erso #coriolanus snow #rebelcaptain #word count: 2.8k #jsyk you're not allowed to read this and then hate jyn #or saw #a lot of things changed but this was always going to happen #that is why i wrote the bonus chap :')

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tracybirds · 4 years

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Fanfic in Review 2020

Tagged by @hodgehegposts, posting on my thunderbirds blog bc that seems more relevant ahaha :D

Total number of completed stories: This took me a while to figure out thanks to that terrible habit of mine of taking ages to archive things whoops. 42 fics on tumblr, i think 38ish are on ao3 and only two active wips! I know there are others amonst that which are technically wip but shush i can’t think on all of my someday plans at once. mostly oneshots bc that’s how I roll!

Total Wordcount: well I published 118,557 words, but approx 20000 of those were from 2019 crossposting. I’d guess I have about 10000 words of unpublished stuff floating around, i’m not quite sure, so let’s say about 105,000 words. which is a ridiculous number what the heck

Fandoms written in: Thunderbirds only this year! I got a little sucked in ahaha

Looking back did you write more, less, or about what you expected to this year? hmm way more in the first half of the year. then I think I got used to writing lots and so my expectations for the second half were much higher than was realistic given my RL responsibilities, so I was def disappointed by the second half :(

What’s your own favourite story of the year? Just one? I’m actually really proud of a lot of different stories so allow me to review my own work and pick some faves ahaha :D

1. Care Packages - inspired by Thunderbird X by @gumnut-logic, and I loved writing this because it all just fell into place and flowed so beautifully. It allowed me to form my own concepts as to how exactly John might have coped with the loss of his father while in virtual isolation and I genuinely think if I had to pick my best fic of the year, I’d go with this one. 2. Reckless Meetings - this one was pure self indulgence and I genuinely had so much fun daydreaming about this AU where Gordon is a primary school teacher and Penny works in a museum :D I didn’t write a lot down but it gets points for the amount of glee I had while writing and the smile I get every time I remember that it exists :DDD 3. Trials Without Error - this one I love because I got to explore three different perspectives on one event and I loved how in doing that it almost revealed three totally different stories! I also had a lot of fun making them slot together and also exploring EOS’s more ruthless side. 10/10 would explore again, a morally indifferent EOS is very fun.

Did you take any writing risks this year? Writing some multichapter fics was definitely a risk for me! I attempted 5 multichapter fics and completed three of them which is WILD!!

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for next year? Not so much this year! I really just want to find a better balance for myself in terms of work because that will give me mental space and also writing time, but that’s a little out of my control so we shall see what comes to pass.

Most popular story of the year? Ooh, apparently Love Languages! Interesting, I wouldn’t have picked that one ahaha

Story of mine most underrated by the universe, in my opinion? I think Consequences, but I do get it - it’s marked as incomplete on ao3 because it has an ambiguous ending (which is another turn off I know) AND to add to its sins, it’s less than 1000 words... But I still think the concept is one I want to explore further so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Most fun story to write? The Bold and The Beautiful and A Captain and His First Mate were both a BLAST, I had so much fun with them :DDD First one is John and Gordon getting all giddy and borrowing their Dad’s v v pretty car, and the second is Gordon and Alan playing make believe :D

Biggest disappointment? probably that I didn’t bank in on my momentum for Earthbound - I genuinely love that story and it’s literally all planned out and prepped and I’ve written some prequels and snapshots that fit in with it and everything, but lockdown 100% killed my ability to write that story because John is just too miserable and traumatised and I couldn’t write that when I was busy being miserable and exhausted so :(( bye earthbound, I will come back to you some day, I have too much all ready to go and I love the concept to much to let it all go to waste. But I’ll probs need another year if I’m being honest with myself.

Biggest surprise? How frequently people give feedback and comments! There were several times where people would read like ten fics of mine and leave comments on all of them and I just :’) That was so nice!! Especially when I was hardly able to get online when I had to prep exams and organise well... everything (protip, don’t accept a temporary promotion the year of a pandemic that was not the intro to heading a department that i wanted, there were so many tears). My point though, is that it felt like my inbox was overflowing and I felt terrible I couldn’t respond but it made my heart jump with joy <3

#did this take me two hours to type yes #it is apparently nearly midnight GOOD JOB BRI #anyway uhh hope you enjoyed the read feel free to chat with me about any of these ahaha

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carbootsoul · 4 years

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i was tagged by @katarahairloopies!!! thank u :mwah:

name: leo! @/zeitgeistofnow on ao3, @lazypigeon & @timetohope on here, altho i’m considering uh switching back to not having an art blog :/ i have to think abt it.

fandom(s): ace attorney is my main one rn bc i’m replaying the games with a friend of mine and it’s reminding me how invested i am in the characters!! a lot of my recent fic is atla stuff, altho i’ve been distancing myself from the fandom bc i’ve kinda exhausted my interest in it. finally i’ve been reading a lot of mp100 fic but i don’t think i’ll ever write for it. i just love how dumb all the characters r (with the dubious exception of ritsu)

where you post: ao3!! tbh i always get suprised when people say they write/read fic on any other platform like i haven’t messed around w wattpad or ff.net since middle school... catch up........

most popular oneshot: going just by “one chapter” as the definition of a oneshot, the firestarters, bc it’s fluffy and modern au :) i wouldn’t necessarily call it a oneshot tho bc to me a oneshot shows like, one scene? so like by my definition and your sweet sweet sun makes me crazy (i wanna lay you down and see how you amaze me is my most popular!! (also @ kit u thought UR fic titles were unnecessarily long??? i’ve hit the ao3 LIMIT for characters in titles. it’s about the aesthetic

most popular multichapter fic: sdkjflakjlkj it’s two crowned kings; and one that stood alone, which is a w359 fic i wrote back in late 2017. it’s literally the last fic i haven’t orphaned from when i actually wrote podcast fic (i have 4 other podcast fics but they were all borne out of nostalgia and written after i stopped participating in the fandom). i rewrote all but the last chapter? the last two? about a year ago and i fucked up halfway through so like chapter 6 and 7 are repeated and there’s something missing but i’m too lazy to fix it. no one’s going to read it now anyway :) it WAS the top minlace fic for a little while tho which i take great pride in.

favorite story you’ve written so far: oh that’s a hard question akfsldkfj i honestly like most of them!! and i write a LOT so there’s a lot to choose from. tonight, we are young is def one of my favorites- it was fun to write and i got to explore the ways zuko and yue r similar, which i LOVE to do outside of a zukka/yukka view. you can lean on my arm as you break my heart is one that i’m really proud of? the whole “cooking as an expression of bato’s love” is definitely some of my favorites. a lot of my ace attorney fics would be categoried as my favorites if i hadn’t improved, too, if that makes sense. like they’re no long my favorites because i can see where my writing is shitty and it bothers me, but if i had written them a month ago they’d be my favorite.

fic you were nervous to post: figures 1-5: killing gods def!! it’s a lot more purple-prose-y than most of my fics and it was also written before i’d kinda like emersed myself in the atla fandom so i didn’t have as good a grasp on the general understanding of zuko’s character as i do now. tbh it’s one i’m rly happy w tho!! i have a few people leave really nice comments on it and rereading them makes me really happy. also it was the start of me hating the position of fire lord and being at least passively anti-it in my fics.

how you choose your titles: they’re almost all song lyrics!! only 14 of my 50 words AREN’T song lyrics and about half of those are from before i started writing ace attorney fic lol. sometimes i go into a fic with a song in mind for the vibes and then i usually go with lyrics from that (like in ‘cuz we’re the greatest /they’ll hang us in the louvre), but otherwise i usually pick an artist i’ve been listening to and go through their songs until i find a lyric that fits. sometimes the lyric doesn’t even really fit the fic and i just chose it at random or because i searching up the word “fly” in my spotify library or whatever. honestly i like coming up with titles? i know a lot of fic writers hate it but being able to just use song lyrics is v soothing for me and while i know that most people won’t search out a song just bc it’s a fic title like.. seeing that the title of a fic is a hozier lyric does affect how i read it and i kinda like that.

do you outline? i outline my long form/multichaptered fics with varying strictness. usually anything over ~8k will have some kind of outline. sometimes i go into it with every single scene planned out, sometimes it’s just notes on the side of the google doc that say “it's about MORE family. about how it's not betraying your existing family to find more” and “scenes i want to include: [...]” and “vampires... ngl kinda hot.” i’m trying to outline super strictly less bc i’ve found it’s less fun? but i do try to keep a plot arc in mind. since most of my fics are more character-driven than plot-driven, that usually just means keeping track of what character development i want to happen or what is motiviating the characters.

complete: um everything posted on ao3 i guess. also the MULTITUDE of orphaned fics out there asksfjldkj i always click ‘leave my pseud on’ so if u look up my username you see all of my fics and then a. lot of other ones.

in progress: - a fic titled ‘dad phoenix’ that is actually just a no DL-6 au with defense attorney miles edgeworth and single dad bartender phoenix where neither of them want to date for A While but phoenix gets wrapped up in one of miles’s cases. it’s about family. it’s about writing teenagers. it’s about the background franmaya which is ALWAYS what i’m here for in wrightworth fics - a franmaya werewolf/vampire au because i’m ~gay~ and love rivals to lovers and also franziska and maya both being angry their older brothers r dating each other. - my secret santa fic!! which i can’t talk about much but it does feature toph and zuko and also piandao and jeong jeong???? idk where they came from but they are Part Of The Fic Now also i forgot iroh existed for half the fic and wrote piandao as zuko’s father figure and now i’m in too deep. - a 5+1 bakoda fic (maybe a bato/hakoda/kay fic??? i need to decide. that’s part of why this fic is still incomplete bc i can’t decide which relationship dynamic i prefer) that’s 5 times bato said he loves hakoda and one time hakoda said it back. possibly i have already written him saying i love u back and i need to change the title a little. - retail au klapollo where klavier works at an overpriced boutique and apollo comes in to buy earrings for nahyuta’s birthday. klavier gives him a punch card (one that the store doesn’t actually offer anymore as a bid to get apollo to come back) and all of apollo’s family come in to use the punch card and also give klavier variations on the shovel talk/find out if he’s actually into apollo. - a LOT of atla fics that i don’t think i’ll ever finish :(

coming soon/not yet started: - i want to write some blackmadhi bc they’re.. cute..... and it’s a good excuse to also write athena and i love her - my stuff for yueki week!!! i have NOT prepped enough but hopefully i’ll remember in time! i wrote the prompts in a way that kinda set up stuff i’ve already wanted to write (don’t look at me lol) so hopefully i’ll get at least two or three fics finished in time. - i want to rewrite the wrightworth fic i have about them not getting married bc it was interesting and i like what i wrote about but i think i could have written it better and made it more interesting. rewriting fics is hard tho bc i’m never sure if it makes sense to just edit in the new work or to repost it? and then if u repost it do u delete the old one? conflicting so i might just not

do you accept prompts? totally!!! a disclaimer tho i’m not super into writing atla stuff anymore (most of the atla stuff i’m still writing is something i made a commitment to finish) so if your prompt is an atla one i probably won’t do it :/ basically anything else is fair game tho!! podcasts/aa/sa/uh i don’t remember anything else but like if you search a fandom on my blog and come up with more than two posts about it chances r i’d be happy to write fic for it!

upcoming work that you’re most excited about: oh huh i mean probably the no dl-6 au!!! it’s the longest ace attorney fic i’ve written already and since it’s wrightworth it’ll get more attention than any franmaya fic i write. my standards r so high now tho after getting to much feedback from atla fans... love u all... obviously i have no choice but to pressure my atla mutuals into playing ace attorney. pls ask abt it bc i WIll Give You A Sales Pitch about why you’d like it in relation to atla

tagging: i’m not rly tagging anyone!!! @deadflora if you still consider urself a fic writer also consider urself tagged! also any of my other mutuals who write fic i just can’t think of anyone rn

#leo.txt #thank u!! i think i wrote a lot for this lol #but literally ive been so bored i don't have anything better to do

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theweekinarrowfic · 5 years

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Completed Arrow Multichapters on AO3, September 8-14, 2019

NOTE: I’m now crossposting to https://theweekinarrowfic.dreamwidth.org/

Need more Arrow in your life? Why not try one of the multchapter fanfics recently completed by our talented fic writers?

Olicity

Dark Beauty by OliversMuse (19/19, 14 Sep 2019) - Meet Dr. Oliver Queen, local psychiatrist who specializes in PTSD due to his own experiences. He has finally settled into a normal life and his practice is going well. Then one day in walks Felicity Smoak, local mob boss. She is looking to change her ways, to escape the violence and death that has been her reality for far too long. She wants to change but her business keeps dragging her back to that dark place she is trying to escape. Can Dr. Queen see the light inside of her and help her change her ways??

and we're somehow caught up in a web of lies by inlovewithimpossibility (46/46, 14 Sep 2019) - After their encounter with the Count and Moira's release from prison, Thanksgiving is upon the residents of Starling City but when an article arises in the gossip magazines that throws both Oliver and Felicity under scrutiny, the two of them somehow find themselves caught up in the most elaborate lie they've told. What was supposed to be a relaxing week at the Queen cabin in New Hampshire for Oliver and a week celebrating Hanukkah and Thanksgiving alone for Felicity turns into a week at the cabin of acting, the Queen women and bubbling not-so-platonic feelings.

Kerosene and Desire by SmoakingGreenArrow (5/5, 12 Sep 2019) - An Olicity Notebook AU with a darker twist.

Roll Over Beethoven by OhhMyyDarla (4/4, 12 Sep 2019) - Summary- Signing her name on the dotted line, she did what any other person would do. She Saved him.. she just hopes her husband agrees with what she did. Looks like the Queen Family has a new furry member.Adventures with Beethoven and the Queen FamilyI MPORTANT NOTE IN CHAPTER 4!!!

Run Away With Me by DMichelleWrites (15/15, 11 Sep 2019) - This is basically everything I hoped season 7 would be after the prison arc, but unfortunately we didn't get to see it.Join Oliver, Felicity, their friends, and family as they navigate their lives together post-Slabside. They really can have it all. Watch them balance being heroes, parents, and still manage to hold down day to day jobs. Enjoy their slice of maximum domesticity, and take a peek into their home life together with their four children. Part 7 of Hiatus Drabbles

The Cheese Festival by cruzrogue (2/2, 10 Sep 2019) - Ray Palmer invites the Queens to his home up on the mountains to do some business. The town is having their annual Cheese Festival and they have booked a double room suite but unknown to Oliver and Felicity, Thea cancels and all rentals are booked solid she even has Ray and his fiancé Anne agreeing to happily house them for a few nights. Prompt: Only one bed/hammock- Olicity summer sizzler bingo card 1. Part 4 of Who Knew?!?

Felicity the Vampire Slayer by KimBug (12/12, 10 Sep 2019) - Felicity Smoak had a plan: graduate from Starling Prep with honours, go to MIT, start a tech company that will change the world. But that was before a stranger she meets at a bus stop tells her there are vampires out there and she’s the only one who can stop them.A vampire slayer AU based on the 1992 movie Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

1 8 1 3 by Vixx2pointOh (2/2, 09 Sep 2019) - Trapped in a loveless marriage, Felicity had resigned herself to a life of avoiding her husband and pretending to enjoy needlepoint. When a journey to accompany the dreadful man presented itself, she never considered she might meet a man worth falling in love with and risking it all. Part 1 of A Picture Tells

Other Ships/Characters

Walk You Down The Aisle (One Shot) by abcsupercorp (Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Oliver listed as character, 2/2, 14 Sep 2019) - Oliver has an offer for Kara. Lena asks something from Alex. "I already talked to Lena about it, and she's okay with it, in fact, she thinks it's a wonderful idea. So, Kara Zor El Danvers, as your best friend, and brother. I would like to offer to walk you down the aisle" Oliver told her. "Alex, you're my future sister-in-law, but before that, you were my family more than Lex or Lillian ever could be" She began, She saw Alex's eyes water, she knows, "I talked to Kara and she thinks it's a wonderful idea.. " she said, "Alex, I choose you to walk me down the aisle" Part 12 of The SuperCorp Kiddos! Part 1 of Arrowverse Trio

I Told A Star by Vert (Flurkin) (Oliver & Thea, 3/3, 12 Sep 2019) - Thea Queen knew her brother was alive. She just never expected him to pop up, staring at his gravestone. Or... You know. Pop up at her house, period. I don't own Arrow: I can barely keep my Social Studies notes straight, forget a TV show! Part 2 of Different Encounters

In family we trust by Bl4ckHunter(Laurel/Oliver, 9/9, 11 Sep 2019) - When someone from family becomes chased by darkness, how far would the rest of the family go to protect them? Part 31 of The Dar(h)k War Saga

A Tale of Lost Souls by Bl4ckHunter (Matt Murdock/Elektra Natchios, Sara/Oliver as side pairing, 11/11, 10 Sep 2019) - Team Arrow joins Sara in New York as they and new allies face a deadly alliance between their dangerous enemies, while struggling with a decision, whether certain people can be redeemed.

Reality Checks and Ignorance by bubbly_turtle333 (Thea-centric, 2/2, 09 Sep 2019) - When Ollie was away, Thea thought she had it bad. She has no idea what he went through. Part 1 of The Ollie They Lost Isn’t The One They Found

Flash, Amigo o Enemigo by Vengador_Dragon (Barry Allen/Kara Danvers, several Arrow characters listed, 45/45, 09 Sep 2019) - Con la llegada de los dominadores Barry recurre a sus amigos para apoyarlo, pero tras saber de Flashpoint todos desconfían de él salvo Oliver, Kara, Wally, Iris, Felicity, Joe y HR. Barry y Kara empiezan una relación en todo esto y ambos acuerdan irse a Tierra-38 cuando los venzan, Oliver va a tratar de mantener a su amigo en Tierra-1, ¿Pero podrán lograrlo con Sativar iniciando su ascenso a Dios? Part 1 of Enfrentando al destino

Harry Potter and the Shadow of the Demon by ArlyssTolero (Harry Potter-centric, several Arrow characters listed, 19/19, 09 Sep 2019) - A mad plan two decades in the making has finally come to fruition and Ra's al Ghul, formerly Harry Potter, awakens in his 14-year-old body, intent on cleansing the Light and the Dark of those corrupting them. To do so, he becomes The Phoenix, and soon discovers that there is a new responsibility on his shoulders: to lead the magical equivalent of the League of Assassins.

#arrow #Olicity

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fucking-zawa-sensei · 7 years

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My FanFic Masterlist:

My fanfic tab is a little messy with reblogs, so I’ve compiled all of my fics into this masterlist, with small summaries for each. Click the titles to be taken to the post.

Search “fanfic masterlist” on my blog to find this post easily. I will continue to update it as I post more fics.

Thanks for following and reading my fics. I am so incredibly happy I decided to make this blog and write for the BNHA fandom. This has been such a fun experience. Thank you to everyone who was here from the start, too. I love you all.

As a reminder, you can also find all of my writing under the “My Fanfiction” tab on my blog. Most of it is also on AO3 (Say_Jay).

Fics:

After Effects - Takes place after chapter 159 of the manga. Hurt/comfort from both Aizawa and Yamada. Aizawa deals with this guilt over the incidents withthe precepts and Yamada deals with his fears of losing the one he loves.

After Hours - Aizawa and Yamada both work late on Fridays, but unlike most nights, their schedules sync up, and they get to come home together. They unwind from their work and indulge in some cuddles. This is super fluffy.

Don’t Kid Yourself - Chapters: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9]My multichapter angst fic, completed 9/9 chapters. It’s a very painful, slow burn that’s honestly hard to describe. Through much struggle and many confused feelings, Aizawa and Yamada figure out what love is.

Shots Fired - I forgot to rate this one, but it’s Mature for Violence (I am not kidding, take this seriously). This is another hurt/comfort fic. I can’t get into the details without giving away the twist.

Chilly Afternoon - At some point I discovered I needed to stop hurting Aizawa and Yamada. So I made them a nice little coffee date in the snow. Pure fluff. It’s a short read.

Soft - Short, sweet, fluff. Tumblr exclusive. This one is only a few hundred words.

Ice It - Yamada takes a beating doing some hero work and heads to Aizawa’s to get patched up. Aizawa takes care of him and Yamada lets a confession slip.

Drop the Beat - They’ve been on the hero scene for a few years, but have lost touch. Aizawa follows a lead on a villain to a shady bar and is surprised to find a certain unforgettable blond doing a DJ side gig. Aizawa and Yamada team up to take down the villain. Everything doesn’t quite go as planned. This the most action-intensive fic I’ve written.

Overworked - Aizawa is the last person that should be trying to convince someone to take a break and get some sleep, but Yamada’s been pushing himself too hard and someone has to do it. This is domestic fluff.

Bask - Aizawa and Yamada share a sweet, fluffy date in the park.

Oblivious - High school fic, Yamada’s parents gave him up as a baby and now he’s throwing a party at the children’s home he lives at. Aizawa is helplessly oblivious to the whole situation, but comes out to support his friend and learn a little.

Hold me Closer - A short drabble. Yamada has a nightmare and Aizawa holds him through it.

Warmth - A thank you fic for reaching 800 followers. This follows Aizawa and Yamada through a sweet Saturday, from morning to night, spending time together, and generally being so damn cute it will rot your teeth.

A Hero’s Work - A short drabble, Aizawa’s POV, reflecting after a particularly trying battle with a group of villains.

Not Without Trying - Chapters: [1] A three chapter fic where Aizawa and Yamada adopt Eri.

Painted Hearts - Shouta loves his mom. She picks him up from school and runs her fingers through his hair and every day they paint beautiful pictures together. Until they don’t.

Black Tie - EXPLICIT, Yamada receives a prestigious award for his radio show, and in a rather unprecedented turn of events, Aizawa doesn’t put up a fight when his husband requests he tag along to the black tie ceremony. Yamada doesn’t put a fight when Aizawa quickly yanks said black tie off when they get home.

Prove Me Wrong - Short angst drabble

Matchmaker - Over the months Aizawa had been training him, it was impossible for Shinsou not to notice how often Yamada would show up to pick Aizawa up after their sessions. It was even more impossible not to notice the way the tired, reserved man never once told the blond to stop draping himself over his shoulders or laughing in his ear. If Shinsou didn’t know any better, he’d say Aizawa liked Yamada. Actually, that just might be the case.Shinsou reports this and an idea to get the two teachers to notice the other’s feelings to his newfound friend, Midoriya. Kayama overhears their conversation and offers her help. Class 1-A plays matchmaker.

Room for me? - Short drabble. Mic wants to take a nap with Aizawa in the staff room. Fluff.

Take Your Time - Drabble. Yamada needs some time and Aizawa is there to help.

On Patrol - EXPLICIT, Hizashi suggests they make an easy, early weekday patrol more interesting with a vibrator. This leads to some hot and heavy sex in an alley.

These Days Come and Go - Written for the prompt “Date Night” for ersaermicweek2018. Shouta has had a rough week and Hizashi decides to plan the perfect day to help him relax, but things don’t go as planned.

Break Me, Baby - EXPLICIT, Bottom Mic. They’d been at this for at least an hour now. Hizashi was beyond well prepped, this wasn’t necessary, but he’d asked to be brought to the edge and when Shouta had asked are you sure? Hizashi had responded with Yes, and when I get there, drag me over it.

Shatterproof - Chapters: [1] [2] [3] Ongoing multi-chapter fic co-written with @aizawashovta full of emotional angst and healing. Shouta and Hizashi deal with their insecurities and helping each other overcome them.

I Need Time - Drabble. Mic lies to Aizawa. Will probably continue this into a larger story at some point.

Soaring - Drabble. Shouta and Hizashi share a moment in the park, studying birds.

100 Ways to Say I Love You - An ongoing collection of 100 fics, each one a different way Aizawa and Yamada show their love to one another in more than just words. Co-written with @aizawashovta

Before You Go - Shouta’s latest case requires some undercover work in another district, pulling him away from Hizashi for a lengthy amount of time. As the days grow closer to Shouta’s departure, Hizashi struggles to let go.

Temper - A short drabble in which Hizashi loses his temper and Shouta does his best to support him through it.

Don’t do the Dew - A fun, sort of silly short fic in which Hizashi makes a disastrous breakfast and bears with the consequences.

Support - Short fic, in which Hizashi deals with some trauma after being captured and Shouta comforts him.

Kittens and Tea - Drabble. They were supposed to go on a date to a tea shop, but Shouta spots a fluffy little kitten waiting for a home.

Rainy Day - Drabble. Shouta and Hizashi cuddle together on a rainy day.

Play me a Song, DJ - Drabble. Shouta helps Hizashi build a playlist for his radio show.

Credit - Drabble. Shouta and Hizashi bicker over whether a student should get credit on a test. Things get a little angsty.

No Rest While You’re Away - Aizawa is captured and tortured and the only thing keeping him going is Hizashi.

I Will Be Your Hands - Small fic. Post - USJ, Shouta can’t use his hands, but Hizashi is there to support him.

How it is - Small fic. Hizashi breaks a table.

More than This - Chapters: [1] Angsty mutual pining fic, in which both Hizashi and Shouta want more than sex from the other, but are having a lot of trouble figuring that out. Lots of jealousy. Slow burn. Lots of pain. Eventual happy ending.

Drowned Out - Drabble. Very angsty. Major Character death.

Riptide - Chapters: [1][2] Mermaid AU - Hizashi is a siren and Shouta is a ship captain. “Hizashi had been stunning since the first moment he laid eyes on him, lazing against the small cluster of rocks out in the open waves, but there’s something different about him now. Shouta’s heart feels like it skips, thrown across a pond, skidding across the surface before finally breaking the tension, dropping down into the depths.”

Burned - Hizashi’s speaker is decimated, his neck no better, and the stiff back of the hospital waiting room chairs aren’t doing Shouta’s nerves any favors either.

Relief - Sequel to burned, in which Hizashi comes home from the hospital and Shouta helps take care of him.

Fever - Takes place in the same story line as Burned and Relief, a short ficlet in which Hizashi gets a fever.

Dango - Hizashi finally gets his dango. Takes place in the same story line as Burned and Relief.

It’s Been a While - Continuation of the Burned story line. Hizashi’s speaker is repaired.

Run - Small ficlet from the casino au story I’ll be working on. Hizash is a genius card counter and Aizawa is his body guard.

Separate - Sad, 500 word drabble, in which Shouta ends up alone.

Can We Keep Him? - 1st place raffle prize. A 5k fic about Hizashi and Shouta fostering kittens in their spare time. Super fluffy.

Witch/Wizard au:

Here are the little ficlets/posts building on the witch au I’ve yet to really start the full fic for yet. A brief explanation of the general au. A little ficlet of Hizashi coming home from travel. Some info on All Might’s place in the au. Hizashi hatching a dragon egg. And then check out @bethhankel ‘s blog for some amazing art! Her art and talking to her about this au were what made me start writing it, so definitely go check that out!

Passing - Part of the above Witch/Wizard AU. It’s short and angsty. Hizashi loses a dragon.

Revenge - Part of the above Witch/Wizard AU, occurring after Passing, where Hizashi struggles with his grief.

Sting - A short ficlet in which Shouta deals with the nerve damage caused after USJ.

#fanfiction #erasermic fanfiction #masterlist #fanfic masterlist #maizawa fanfiction #maizawa #erasermic #aizawa shouta #present mic #yamada hizashi #eraserhead #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha #mha #aizawa shouta/yamada hizashi #aizawa

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ive-always-been-a-pirate · 7 years

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Standing In The Outfield (1/2) + A CS Fanfic

A two part fic about baseball, the friend zone, and what happens when your unresolved feelings bring you home after five years away. Inspired by the song 'The Outfield' by The Night Game.

Rating: T/M (pretty tame for now, but it gets steamy in the second part) Word Count: 3.5K

Hello out there! I apologize that it’s taken me so long to write/post anything. The past couple of months have been insane (school starting, a death in the family, various other drama, blah blah blah) but I’m back! I have a few little stories like this that I’m hoping to post between updates of my multichapter stories. Here’s the first part of this one - also on FF.net and AO3.

To this day, Killian still couldn't exactly figure out how they'd ended up in such a comfortable yet confusing relationship. Ugh, he hated that term - relationship. Well, it was Emma who really loathed that word. He'd just come to share the opinion because….well, because he liked sharing things with her.

Many things. Okay, all things.

Sharing was perhaps a vague way to put it though. She rarely asked for much and he'd always been all too willing to give her everything he could - several answers to the dozens of tests Mr. Gold administered in their junior high algebra class, the black windbreaker he tossed over the fence to her when she came to every single one of his baseball games, and even some really crappy dating advice when it came to who she should go to the Sadie Hawkins dance with. He should have asked her to be his date before the lead pitcher of the varsity team managed to, but he didn't - and therefore, he'd had to support her choice to accompany Storybrooke High's most eligibly overrated idiot to the decorated gym he was now sure as hell going to avoid come Friday night.

It wasn't like he wanted to go anyway. With the first round of the playoff tournament scheduled for the following Monday, the batting cages were probably a much better place for him to be. After all, it wasn't like Neal Cassidy was going to be throwing consistent strikes if he was out all weekend trying to score with the girl Killian had dropped the ball with for years now.

Sure, he loved America's favorite pastime, but as thoughts of figurative "bases" crossed his mind, Killian realized how much he truly hated sports analogies.

It had been tough to encourage Emma to accept Neal's invitation, but he was fully convinced that karma was paying him back in good faith when she still ended up on his doorstep after the formal. He'd been surprised to see her standing there in her post date glory, her pale pink dress clinging to her figure and her tangled blonde hair loose against her shoulders. With her lightly colored high heels hanging from her fingers, she'd asked if she could come in - and once again, he couldn't deny her - not that he actually wanted to.

Their pattern of give and take with no protest picked right up as she changed into a pair of his sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt she plucked from his dresser drawer. He'd tried not to smile at how tiny she looked in the baggy clothing, using the distraction of making hot cocoa and trying not to read the 'SB Sluggers Club' title that stretched across the front of the shirt too many times.

He hadn't ever struggled quite this much when it came to staring at her as she scanned his limited movie collection. Her fingers skimmed the titles lightly, tracing the letters as she contemplated her options. He wasn't sure what had brought her to his humble home's living room after a night out with that Cassidy git, but he liked the outcome - the fact that she'd seemed to end up there with him so automatically.

"It's amusing that you're pretending to think this through, love," he grinned as handed her a mug and flopped onto the couch. "I'm pretty certain that any other film beyond your usual choice would be….inconceivable."

She smiled big at his fast conclusion, plucking the movie case from the shelf and tossing it to his lap. Taking her seat at his side seemed rather easy and he allowed himself to relish the way her leg bumped against his when she tugged a light quilt over her body.

"I know you don't like it as much as I do," she acknowledged as she snuggled beneath the blanket. "You can turn it off when I fall asleep."

He rose quickly and cued up the old movie player before glancing back with a dramatic eye roll. Killian admitted silently how much he loved her little retorts and facial expressions as he pressed play. Yes, refusing her requests was an ability he'd lost years ago….or maybe he never had such a skill in the first place.

"Wouldn't dream of it," he shook his head, moving back to the sofa and enjoying the way she leaned into him. "Staying here then, love?"

"Maybe," she mumbled with a yawn, his arm tucked around her. "Probably."

He'd never been quite so quick to accept such perplexing circumstances - well, at least not up until then. It would be a lie to say he ever thought twice about it after that.

He should have kissed her though - and lord knows he thought about the fact that he hadn't many times after that night.

Though he wasn't certain how they'd grown quite so close, the roots of their friendship were simple and perhaps even a bit fated. Emma lived only a few streets away and the sunny days of their childhood had brought her to the baseball field that sat on the block between their two homes. He was one of the youngest players on the club team and still very much a bench warmer when he'd first noticed her climbing the bleachers. It took him less than two innings to determine who she was - the younger sister of David Nolan, the three time captain of their rather talented group of athletes.

The fact that he'd ended up being such good pals with the popular leader of their team was something that still perplexed Killian, even now that David was competing at a junior college level a few hours away from their small hometown. The timing of their friendship had evolved when Killian most needed it - a mere two lonely months after his own older brother had passed tragically in a military accident. David had taken him beneath his wing quickly and with the man's consistent will to keep an eye out for his younger teammate, Killian soon found that he almost fit in perfectly with the Nolan family.

They spent loads of time together - summer days at a nearby lake, study sessions with friends and dozens of snacks, and even an occasional holiday gathering or two. Killian's own father was often working late nights or drowning in rum fueled misery which made accepting an invitation to a pick-up game in the park or the Nolan family's annual Fourth of July celebration an easy thing to do. He was beyond grateful that David had taken a liking to him and even more so when Emma seemed to as well.

It didn't take him long to like her just as much - well, maybe even a little more.

By the time David graduated, Emma had instantly stepped up to fill the role of Killian's best friend. If they weren't playing catch and quizzing each other on SAT prep, they were making late night movie plans and debating the proper amount of salt needed on some freshly popped popcorn. He made sure she always had a ride to school in the morning while Emma made sure he knew how to get the grass stains out of his uniform pants. She was always there for him whether he needed a pep talk after a tough game or a high five over the fence after he closed out a tough inning. Killian had never imagined he'd ever meet someone who understood him the way she always seemed to.

There was something about Emma and the way she made him feel - something wild and exciting that he couldn't totally explain. She made him feel hopeful - like maybe he could be something more than just Killian Jones, the relief pitcher for the Storybrooke Knights. He sure as hell wouldn't ever be meant for shining armor or hero status, but Emma almost made him believe in happily ever after - maybe a new beginning that even somehow included her. Well, maybe if he could ever work up the courage to suggest it.

He didn't though. Instead, April turned to May slowly, the green grass of the baseball diamond and a need to keep his curveball sharp about the only things keeping Killian from spending every second with her. Emma never told him about the dance or the date she'd apparently ended earlier than expected, not even the one time he'd worked up the courage to ask.

He was kind of grateful for that - he wasn't sure he really wanted to know.

Their senior year floated by in some sort of odd dream that Killian allowed himself to get used to - probably one of his more naive mistakes - and when she'd show up to his typically lonely house to indulge in a poor romantic comedy from the eighties or when she'd swing by the field to walk home with him after practice, he tried to convince himself that getting comfortable was a bad idea. It was a near impossible task when she observed him with those deep green eyes and a clever smirk. It was completely impossible when she fell asleep against his shoulder or took the leap of being candid with him about some little detail of her life.

He'd wanted to tell her how he really felt for ages by the time she mentioned another date with Neal. Everyone deserves a second chance - that's what she'd prefaced that conversation with. Then once she'd rescheduled their movie night again, Killian couldn't help the speculation that perhaps the third time really was a charm where Neal Cassidy was concerned. It only took one solitary and very repeated viewing of The Princess Bride to realize how much he loathed that number.

He knew he owed her his honesty, but giving in - maybe even telling her the whole truth about what she meant to him - wasn't a fear he ever dared face. It was cowardice in its worst form and Killian wondered why he was so afraid each time they ended up in one another's company on the porch swing to the side of his front door.

They were in that exact setting the night before the semifinal game when it all came to a head and he realized that his failure to put himself out there had led to an awful conclusion. Emma was his teammate's new girlfriend - yes, that teammate - and that meant his own position was now extremely obvious.

Killian Jones had somehow become trapped in the friend zone - and lord knows, he had absolutely no one to blame but himself.

"Bloody hell, mate," Robin grimaced, tugging his glove off and shaking his catching hand with a wince. "Save it for the mound."

Killian let out a deep exhale as he ignored the warning of the first baseman. Lifting his forearm, he wiped the light sweat from his brow before adjusting his cap. The blue brim felt firm between his fingers as he tugged it down over his stare just a bit. Emma had told him once that his uniform hat matched his eyes and he wasn't sure if he'd ever forget the way her mouth had curved at the corner when she'd said that. He peeked over toward the packed stands briefly as he reminisced that moment and immediately found himself grateful for the barrier the baseball cap was providing from the view that had him fuming.

"A few more, Jones," Robin nodded, crouching down with his mitt as he noticed what had Killian distracted. "I wouldn't be surprised to see you get called up tonight, especially if Cassidy doesn't get his head in the game."

He huffed at that, trying to ignore the comment as he wound up and threw a fastball right down the middle into Robin's glove. The loud smack of the rubber and cowhide against the inside of a leather mitt was a decent diversion, but it didn't totally keep his mind from wondering just what Neal was flirtatiously saying to the beautiful blonde standing just behind the fence.

Killian wasn't actually sure that the pair were an official item, but they'd certainly been spending a fair amount of time together for the past couple of weeks. He'd seen less of her, something he noticed rather quickly - especially on the nights they usually spent with a well known film or immersed in endless conversation. Killian supposed he missed her and as he peeked over to where she was chatting with the captain of their officially undefeated team, he admitted silently that he was getting awfully tired of it.

She looked beautiful all clad in casual jeans and a t-shirt with the name of the school he'd played for since their freshmen year. It was a familiar outfit she'd once completed with his jacket, the borrowed article of clothing drowning her in a wealth of black fabric. She looked almost incomplete without it and he tried to ignore how much he wanted to dig the old windbreaker out of his duffel bag. Maybe she didn't need it anymore. Maybe things were different now - and lord, that thought hurt.

"Looks like we better go," Robin said with his head tilted toward the dugout. "Ready, Jones?"

"Aye," Killian answered with a start toward the cement enclosure, knowing full well that his initial position on the field would be right between second and third while Neal lined up on the pitcher's mound. "Let's go."

He looked at her one more time as he jogged toward the bench, his feet snagging slightly on the grass when her gaze drifted to his. He could almost swear he saw it then - how much she'd missed him and their curious friendship - and he entertained the idea of telling her he felt the same way she seemed to.

Maybe he would. Maybe someday he'd be that brave. Maybe eventually he would finally spill his feelings to the girl watching him from a distance...or maybe he'd always stay in that same place - standing quietly in the outfield, sometimes literally and almost always figuratively.

They'd lost the game - not that the defeat was the hardest part of that evening. No, that honor belonged to the moment when he'd looked up to catch her reassuring gaze while walking toward the dugout and saw only a glimpse of her long hair blowing in the breeze as she jumped down from the bleachers to meet her boyfriend. The sight made his heart sink as his cleats grew heavy and he tried to settle with the knowledge that this was just how it was going to be now - she wasn't his. They were just friends.

Killian spent the rest of their last year of high school realizing how difficult it was going to be to accept that - but after three years in the minor leagues, two hundred miles of distance, and five years apart, he decided that maybe letting go of the golden haired girl from his small hometown was truly outside of his talent range.

But she was happy from what he could tell - and that was all that mattered, even if such a conclusion broke him into pieces.

He wasn't sure why he'd decided to take the coaching job at Storybrooke High when it opened up. The longtime patriarch and leader of the team, Marco Wood, had finally stepped down to pursue a well deserved retirement and when that announcement had caught his eye in the Daily Mirror - which he still subscribed to despite the fact that he now lived in New York - Killian had found himself with an odd desire to consider it. The sudden idea of returning to Maine was almost surreal. He hadn't crossed that town line in years and he'd certainly done his best to leave that life behind, but it was almost like a sign - and it wasn't like he had anything going for him since he'd opted to throw in the towel on his baseball career.

It wasn't much of a career anyway - several seasons of riding the pine and concrete in the minor league dugout for the New York Pirates, a relatively unknown team that rarely led anyone to the majors. Sure, the opportunity had allowed him to remain close to the game he had always loved, but it had pulled him away from the girl he probably could have loved if given the chance.

He'd likely never forget the night he'd told her he was leaving. The few tears she had shed and the image of her forced supportive smile didn't make up a fond memory.

He had managed to pick up a job for a local athletic magazine in the off season, his need to stay busy prodding him into being okay with reporting game scores and stats for sports he didn't know extremely well. The work was easy enough, but giving two weeks notice and moving out of his apartment one weekend in late February was even easier. It was probably all a bit impulsive - how he'd jumped at a chance to move back with very little prodding, especially when he had left Storybrooke in a very similar way only half a decade earlier. He couldn't help the way it just felt right and as he loaded up his car with a few sparse boxes and his old memories of home, he decided not to fight it.

It was a task that turned out to be rather easy once he settled into his new role back on that familiar field, fresh chalk lines and intricately moved grass a welcome view. The school's new principal - another town native named Archibald Hopper - was thrilled to have him there and made it known by updating the team's uniforms and equipment before the first practice took place in March. He'd even offered Killian an office….well, the small room attached to one of the abandoned locker rooms in the old wing of Storybrooke High. It was a quiet space and Killian found out instantly how much he valued that while he organized his things on the built in shelves and the old desk that rested near the single window.

There wasn't much to display - his few team photos from over the years, several small trophies, and a couple of baseballs signed by players he'd idolized as a younger man. He was sorting through his box of collected cards when his fingers fumbled over an old picture, one he'd almost forgotten about until that nostalgic moment.

It was her - well, them, and the faded film provoked an elated memory of the first summer tournament win he'd been a part of. The image made him chuckle softly - and not just because David had managed to sneak into the picture by jumping up behind them. Killian himself had been a sweaty mess when the candid shot had been snapped, his buttoned jersey half untucked while covered in dirt and grass stains. Emma looked brilliant, of course, with her hair woven into a loose braid but covered partially by a beat up baseball cap. She had one arm flung around his neck while her other hand held up a finger claiming they were number one. He remembered how he'd sure felt like it in that instance as she pulled him close, not caring that he was downright filthy after playing his heart out. He'd pitched two perfect innings and brought in a few runs with his triple in the eighth, but neither of those stats were the ultimate win of his evening.

No, that highlight had been the way she'd cheered him on all night and the way her face lit up when he'd winked at her while crossing home plate. Seeing her so proud and happy meant more to him than any victory.

He quickly dug an old empty frame out of the box he'd plopped down near his feet. Sliding the photograph behind the thin glass, he took one more glance at it before stationing it carefully on the second shelf with a sigh. It seemed like the proper place for the past to sit and remind him - or perhaps even haunt him. He wasn't sure which was preferable.

"Nice picture," a soft voice offered from the doorway. "I haven't seen that one for a long time."

Killian froze briefly, the air leaving his lungs in a surprised gasp as he worked up the courage to turn and face the words he hadn't expected to hear. He knew that voice though - even if he hadn't heard it for a number of years. It was the same one that played as the soundtrack of his childhood and the one he'd thought about more than he could ever admit. It was the one he had let slip away, but ultimately, it was the voice that had truly called him back here anyway. With his heart pounding in his tight chest, he spun slowly to meet the owner of the smooth tone and those gorgeous green eyes.

"Emma," he breathed, wondering if he sounded half as wrecked as he felt. "Hi."

Tagging some folks: @optomisticgirl, @xpumpkindumplingx, @laschatzi, @jennifer-morrison, @spartanguard, @teamhook, @kat2609, @thesschesthair, @timeless-love-story, @its-like-a-story-of-love, @shady-swan-jones, @kmomof4

#cs ff #cs au ff #captain swan #killian jones #emma swan #baseball!killian #cs friendship #gotta have that UST

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kaoruyogi · 8 years

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2016 Writing Review

I was tagged by the lovely @ma-sulevin. ^_^

Total Number of Stories Completed

Just one if you don’t count drabbles. I finished “The Lion by Torchlight” back in October. It was the very first long-format work I’ve ever done, let alone completed.

Total Word Count

248,598 according to AO3...I don’t think I wrote anything in 2016 that I didn’t put on there, so yeah...

**Addendum** I wrote 1,232 words into my Belle Dolan fic, but it’s totally a side project right now, and I’m only tick-tacking away at it in little chunks when there’s time.

Fandoms Written In

Just Dragon Age...

Looking Back, Did You Expect To Write More Fic Than You Thought You Would This Year, Less, Or About What You’d Expected?

When 2016 started fanfic wasn’t even a thing for me...I didn’t read it, and I sure as shit didn’t write it. So when I actually did start writing as a way to be creative during my last round of bar prep, I had no idea what was going to come of it, if anything. The fact that I finished a 51 chapter fic in 4 months and went on to write over 20,000 words of drabble/smut/prompts AND 68,624 of a second multichapter fic is crazy to me. CRAZY.

What’s Your Own Favorite Story Of The Year?

It’s hard to say. “The Lion by Torchlight” is my baby, but I didn’t take as much artistic license with it as I might have. But I’ve loved coming up with the story for “Trial by Fire,” my modern lawyer AU, so I guess I’ll go with that.

Did You Take Any Writing Risks This Year?

Doing it at all, honestly. Until I started “The Lion by Torchlight,” I hadn’t written creatively in about a decade. So doing it and publishing it was a huge risk for me.

Do You Have Any Fanfic Or Profic Goals For The New Year?

Just, keep doing it, really. I have to finish “Trial by Fire,” and I’d like to get my self-insert/self-indulgence Belle Dolan fic off the ground, but I also have two other AU ideas I’ve already started character sheets for (hints: cowboys and cops). So, as far as fanfic goes, I just want to keep doing it.

I have been considering whether I want to write a novel, but that’s something I don’t really have time to think about until I’m done with the bar exam in February. I’ll keep everyone updated if that is something that I decide to go through with.

Best Story Of The Year?

That depends what you mean by “best.” If that means, “the one with the best response,” that’s “The Lion by Torchlight.” If that means, “the one I think has the best writing,” that’s “Trial by Fire.” If that means, “the one everyone else thinks is best,” how the fuck should I know? XD