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jaredkleinmanisanerd · 8 years ago

Note

Could you write a fic with the prompt “Stop being so cute.”? (I don't know if you want a specific character but if its directed at Evan then that would be cool~ )

I did this with tree bros, I hope that was okay!

Evan’s fingers shake as he spins the dial on his locker,groaning when he overshoots the third number and has to start inputting thecombination all over again. One to theleft to 18, two to the right to 3, three to the left to 45. He sucks in adeep breath before trying to pull his locker door open. It makes a horriblemetal-on-metal screeching noise, but it pops open nonetheless, revealing messybinders stuffed to the brim with crumpled loose leaf and battered textbookslittered with tiny doodles of dicks. In Evan’s history textbook, one of theprevious owners used the eyes and nose of every pictured historical figure as abase for drawing a dick. While Evan can appreciate the effort there, the factthat he has to scramble to cover up his book whenever a teacher passes by hisdesk does nothing to help his anxiety and he wishes that he could Wite-Out thecopious amounts of male genitalia, but that would probably end in him having topay to replace the textbook and his comfort is not worth a couple hundred dollars.

A tiny scrap of paper flutters out, landing on the stickyhallway floor. Probably another one of the notes Jared has taken to slipping inhis lockers between classes. They usually involve dick jokes or sarcasticcommentary on Evan’s behavior during their shared chemistry class—becauseapparently Evan needs to be told how pathetic it was when he dumped watereddown hydrochloric acid on his hands and refused to tell the teacher, preferringinstead to let his hands tingle uncomfortably until he could wash them afterclass—or whatever juicy piece of gossip that’s been circulating through thestudent body. He sighs as he leans over and collects the paper off the floor,bracing himself for a sentence or two on how ridiculous Evan looked when he wasstartled by a loud noise and nearly dropped his beaker.

Instead, he finds a barely legible phrase scrawled in themessiest chicken scratch Evan has ever seen. The writing looks like it waserased and rewritten about a dozen times, making it seem like whoever penned itwasn’t sure how to phrase what they were trying to say—or whether they shouldsay it at all.

Evan gets hung up on the word “stop” for a moment—he doesn’tdo much of anything, so there’s really nothing for him to stop doing. Exceptbreathing or eating. Maybe the way he chews is really offensive to somebody? Itprobably is—Evan definitely looks gross when he’s eating. He should probablystop eating at school. He’ll just…make up for it at breakfast and dinner. It’llbe fine. He doesn’t need anyone leaving hate notes about how he chewed with hismouth open at lunch one day; that would make the already stressful task ofgoing to school even worse. Then, he continues through the note and lets out aquiet, amused huff. Someone must have gotten someone else’s locker number mixedup with his.

Stop being so cute,it reads.

The girl to his right seems like the type to have a secretadmirer, so he looks around the empty hallway before sliding it into one of thecut outs in her locker door, glad that a) nobody felt the need to leave him amessage about how gross he looks while he eats and b) he could return the noteto its intended recipient without much fuss. He’s gotten a few notes meant forthe girl with the locker beside him—he even got one of her carnations on Valentine’sDay of freshman year, which was a whole awkward ordeal that ended in hertelling him he could keep the flower. The flower died a slow, dreary death inan old water bottle on the dresser in his room, but it was nice while itlasted. Sometimes he could almost pretend that someone had sent him a carnation—thatsomeone could like him enough to do something like that for him.

But, of course, Evan’s not a total idiot, so he’s realizedthat’s never going to happen. Not in high school, at least. It’s alreadyJanuary of his junior year and he’s yet to make any friends besides Jared—and maybeAlana, if you’re willing to stretch the definition of “friend” some. Andneither of them seem particularly interested in being his friend, let aloneanything more than that. So, yeah, Evan’s not going to be getting any cutenotes or carnations in his locker that are anything but an accident becausesome well-meaning kid mistook his locker for someone else’s.

Evan grabs his copy of Othellofrom his locker, wincing at the loud ripping noise the cover makes as the bookslips out from its tight spot between his trig textbook and his Spanish binder.He slams his locker door shut before heading to the library to sneak bites ofhis peanut butter sandwich while he studies for the quiz he has next period onthe first act of the play.

Over the next few weeks, Evan starts getting a lot of notesfor the girl with the locker next to him. They’re usually something sweet like you have a really nice voice or do you have any idea how gorgeous you are ora small doodle of a flower or a bunny or something cute like that. Every timeEvan gets a note, he dutifully slips into his neighbor’s locker, wishing thatwhoever’s leaving these notes would realize that they’re putting them in thewrong locker and stop. Because, as much as Evan enjoys reading the sweet thingsthis girl’s secret admirer writes, it makes him feel kind of…skeevy for readingsomething so nice and personal that’s not meant for him. It feels like he’sintruding on a private moment, but neither of the people having the privatemoment realize that he’s there, so he’s just there, awkwardly witnessingeverything without any way to leave without being spotted.

A week before Valentine’s Day, Evan decides he needs to sortout this whole getting someone else’s notes thing. He wouldn’t be surprised ifthis secret admirer was planning to send this girl carnations, and Evan doesn’tneed a repeat of freshman year, thanks very much. Tracking her down to try toget her the flower that accidentally went to him was a lot of work and made himanxious as hell for the whole week after that because he was worried shethought he was a crazy stalker, or something.

Evan’s noticed that the notes tend to appear sometimebetween fourth period and lunch, so he decides to leave a note for the mysteryperson explaining that this is not, in fact, that girl’s locker but her was thefirst one to the right, so if whoever it was could start leaving the notes inthe correct locker, that would be great.

He folds up the piece of loose leaf he wrote his message onand places it so that it’s peeking out of his locker, just enough so that thenote writer will notice it when they’re slipping their note in, but not enoughthat it’ll fall onto the floor or that some random passerby will notice andtake it.

As Evan leaves to go to trig class, he feels almost sad thathe won’t get to see the notes anymore. They were the bright spot of his schoolday. Which is stupid because none of them were about him, none of them were forhim, but sometimes it felt like they were. Like there was someone in thisschool who looked at Evan and saw someone worth liking instead of a high strung,anxious mess who couldn’t do a presentation without crying or throwing upbeforehand and shaking hands or shuffling feet during. Like there was someonein this school who actually noticed Evan.

When he returns from trig class, his note is no longersticking out of his locker and Evan feels a lot less relieved than he wasexpecting. It takes him four tries to get his locker open, fingers too clumsyto get the combination right, and when he finally yanks open the locker door, anote comes flying out like it did the first time so many weeks ago. Evan picksit up, expecting it to be something like “oh, my bad, dude” or “why’d you waitthis long to tell me, asshole.” He deserves the second one. He should’ve left anote telling the person that they had the wrong longer the moment he realizedthe notes were becoming a daily thing. But he didn’t. Because Evan Hansen is anasshole with no regard for other people’s feelings.

He unfolds the note, bracing himself for the worst.

I don’t have the wronglocker, it reads. I thoughtputting these notes in your locker would make it obvious that these are for youbut I guess not.

P.S. you look gorgeoustoday, Evan Hansen

Evan stares at the note for a while before closing hislocker gently and slipping the note in his pocket. He walks to the library in adaze, completely oblivious to the boy with the long hair and the bad attitudefrom his AP Language class watching him from his own locker, lips quirking upinto a small smile.

#tree bros #deh #im sorry if this isnt good but i tried #Anonymous #requests

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ridingthatbike · 6 years ago

Text

Turn the bike around: Peregrination in Scotland

Photo album here.

We tallied it up, and realized we’ve seen each other in person no more than five times in the last 16 years. But we are important to each other, and in the last few years, we’ve lost some important people, so when Adam asked if I would come over and ride bikes with him, it seemed like the most obvious thing in the world. Of course I will come. Let’s do it. A peregrination is a long and meandering journey, often a pilgrimage of sorts. We named our trip before I’d even bought plane tickets, knowing that we -- two fairly anxious people -- were going to do our best to be open to possibility and not be stubborn about the plan. Our initial plan was to ride a loop in the Cairngorms. Our collective anxiety was high as we took the train up to Inverness and rode to our starting point in Aviemore. A big storm cell had moved in over the Highlands, and it was going to rain there for a week straight. Anxiety crept higher and higher. We looked at the weather forecast, and finally said out loud:

What if we don't do this route? What if we don't ride our bikes in a week of nonstop rain? What if we do something lower stakes? Where can we go to outrun the rain? ... and all of the pressure and anxiety we’d been feeling about making sure the other person had a good time just disintegrated. We took the train back home to regroup.

We cobbled together a new plan based on the Capital Trail, a 150 mile loop that starts and ends at Adam’s front door. We felt a little sad about giving up on the initial plan, and also maybe like our Plan B wasn’t very exciting or maybe wasn’t hard enough to feel like it "counted." But on the very first day, it got pretty hard, and we realized, oh, this is for real, this counts! And it’s so close to home that we can take all the risks! We can explore every dead end! We don’t have to hurry! We don’t have to say no to anything! We end up having incredible weather the entire time. Plan B is the best plan. Back in January, I set a theme for the year, which is to be unhurried. This is not Hurry-Up Life. Peregrination turned out to be the lowest-mileage, least-hurried, most exploratory bike tour I’ve ever done. I am living my goals even when I’m not trying to. There’s a lesson here.

I’m just a teenage dirtbag, baby, like you.

I am tired and feel heavy and slow as we roll through the Pentland Hills, but interestingly, I'm not stressed at all. Sometimes you push your bike. It's all just part of it. We open and push our bikes through and close about 20 gates, we sing Teenage Dirtbag out loud, and I marvel at the wool that has accumulated on every surface -- on every fence line, on every low branch, eventually on my derailleur and pedals too -- and I begin to suspect that Scotland has more sheep than people. I look it up later and confirm that it's true.

We come out into the village of Carlops, which has a bright red telephone booth and a bright red mailbox, and I can’t believe how bright and vivid they seem in the gray day. Our route takes us on the Cross Borders Drove Road, an old footpath for drovers bringing their cattle to market. It's waymarked with a cow emblem, and we love it. Follow the cow road! We find magical singletrack, a magical abandoned stone building, a magical dirt road, and a couple of sheep who have gotten out of their fields and are nervous and try to run away from us but in the same direction we're going. We don't want to stress them out, so we decide to backtrack a little and cook our dinner, sitting in the grass on the side of the road.

We roll into a perfect magical patch of woods and decide it's too lovely to pass up. We set up the tent together for the first time and I think about how cool it is to have adventured with lots of people, to have set this tent up with lots of people, and also how effortless and wordless it is to set it up with Q, my number one adventure partner. I think a lot about how possible adventuring is for me because of the stability in my life, and I feel so grateful for my partner and for my old friends and for the opportunity to see more of this big ol' world.

I have nightmares during the night, after seeing a flashlight pointed at us in the late evening but not seeing the person connected to the light. In my sleep, the person becomes a middle aged man named Kevin and he comes into our campsite and doesn't say anything, just looks around at things, and try as I might, I cannot make my voice loud enough to call out HEY! Adam gently elbows me, and I briefly wake up and fall right back asleep. Kevin is still there in my dream, creeping around. Get out of here, Kevin! You're not invited!

Spooky Wood

While packing up, we discovered that we’d been left a gift overnight: a long-legged dead bird, draped over Adam’s front wheel. Whoa. Was it a fallen hatchling? Or a failed hunt? We’d heard a lot of owl activity overnight. Or was it Kevin?

We pack up and roll into the town of Peebles for breakfast, and then hike-a-bike for several miles up a big hill, high-fiving at the top. Woof. We skip the mountain bike trails that are on the route, but deeply enjoy the waypoint labeled "top of Spooky Wood!" and refer to every patch of woods after it as Spooky Wood. We are delighted to find some huge carefully stacked cairns on a hilltop, and to ride along some beautiful old stone walls through sheep field after sheep field after sheep field.

The cloudy skies turn dark, and the search for a campsite becomes urgent. We find a patch of woods that is too dense to even enter, let alone put a tent up in. We ride along through scrubby heather-covered hills, scouting and scouting, and find a spot where two trails meet, where there is a perfect tent-sized patch of flat ground. I would not ordinarily put a tent so close to trails, but the sky is starting to spit. We lean our bikes, set up the tent in a flash, throw all the things under the rainfly that we think we might want for the evening, and climb inside. It starts raining immediately.

Adam cooks in the vestibule of the tent, and we eat dinner inside our sleeping bags. The rain eventually stops and a glow settles on the landscape around us that seems too beautiful to be real. We look at the trails around us -- a lovely doubletrack to the left, and an alluring singletrack to the right. We don't even check which way our planned route goes. The singletrack looks too good. We gotta take it.

Singletrack for Breakfast, Hail for Dinner

We are thrilled to be riding some grand and super fun singletrack first thing, get a little too stoked, and totally miss our turn. We get deep into some steep and technical singletrack that we have to walk our bikes down … and push our bikes back up. We sing “Turn the Bike Around” to the tune of “Turn the Beat Around" by Gloria Estefan. We make our way to the end of the singletrack, down some totally bananas little steep sections with gates that are clearly not designed for bikes (this is a footpath through some sheep fields, it’s ok, we make it work), have a picnic at the junction of two beautiful dirt roads, and then cut off-route to the village of Tweedbank via the Border Abbey’s Way, another old footpath that takes us past a massive field of dandelion puffs, ready to explode at the slightest breeze, and are delighted by our choice to go offroute.

We get some coffee at the only spot in town that’s open: the takeout place at the train station. It’s chilly and a rain is coming, so we hunker down in a covered bike parking area to drink our coffee and warm up. Temperature regulation on this trip is challenging. It’s warm enough to get hot riding, but cold enough that we need to pull out our puffy jackets every time we stop for more than a few minutes or we start to shiver. It requires a vigilance that is new for me.

We roll over to the next town via an urban pathway, and back on out of town via the chain bridge, past some nosy cows, and Adam narrowly avoids calamity when he rolls over a scrap of fence wire that wraps around his cassette. It is incredible: this whole tour, we got no injuries, no flats, no mechanicals of any kind. So lucky.

We revel in the double track that dreams are made of, lined with stone walls and huge blooming gorse blobs, under a vivid blue sky with cartoon clouds. It’s impossibly wonderful. We stop in Lauder, where we find a Very Fancy Cafe and Art Gallery, where we eat several slices of cake and charge up our phones and take baby wipe baths in the bathroom to remove some sheep shit and mud and pretend we are presentable enough to sit inside this lovely establishment. Here, we decide to hop offroute altogether, because we are enjoying this footpath and want to see it to the end. It’s the Southern Upland Way, which is waymarked with a charming thistle emblem. It goes coast-to-coast. Let’s ride to the ocean! A few miles out of town in a big open field, we find a stone wall that forms a perfect circle. We stand in the center of it and look at the menacing clouds gathering substance overhead, and decide we better find somewhere to pitch the tent pretty quickly. The thunder starts to rumble as we look for anywhere that’s less exposed than the hilltop we’re currently on. We roll down the other side of the hill, pick our way across a stream, and find a flat spot nestled at the bottom of another steep hill. We throw the tent up as fast as we can, and climb inside just as a hailstorm arrives. We laugh and laugh and laugh at our good fortune. The storm passes quickly, but leaves a chill in the air.

The moors, the wind, the sea

We linger at camp in the morning, having coffee and cookies in the tent for breakfast, drying off the tent, repacking everything after the mad dash of the previous evening. We find ourselves on a heavenly dirt road in the vast expanse of the moorlands of the Lammermuir hills, lined with heather and cotton grass and positively alive with grouse. The track leads us to the top of Twin Law, where we find a matching set of cairns that serve as a memorial to twin brothers who died fighting on opposite sides of an ancient battle. The plaque on the site reads:

And they biggit twa cairns on the heather And they biggit them round and high And they stand on the Twinlaw Hill Where they twa brithers lie.

We cannot believe how beautiful it is, how incredible these structures are, how tender humans are, and we goof around and take a million pictures before descending on a joyful lumpy track with big enough lumps that I get both wheels in the air several times on the way down. It’s good to get rowdy. I am grinning the whole way.

We take some double track through woods that feel like Pennsylvania, and look for a stopping spot for a snack break, just knowing something good will turn up. We pop out of the woods and find Abbey Saint Bathans, which has a bench and a map of the Southern Upland Way. We put peanut butter on our cookies, and ask a passerby if there’s somewhere we can fill up on water … and someone comes out of the house behind us and fills up our water bottles for us. What is this magic? What wonderland are we living in?

The wind gets stronger and stronger all day. On top of an exposed hilltop, we see that we’re level with the blades of the wind turbines in the distance. They don’t put wind turbines in places that aren’t windy. This is just how it’s going to be. Find peace. We lumpity lump along some sheep fields, and I am tired from the wind and the lumps. We joke that we skipped riding the Highlands and are instead riding the Lumplands. I see that the road we’re about to cross will take us right to the sea at Cockburnspath in 5 miles of pavement rather than 7 miles of Lumplands. Adam doesn’t want to ride any more pavement than he has to, but I am cooked, and so he acquiesces. And soon, we’ve ridden our bikes to the North Sea, where we hope to find a cafe and get out of the wind, and maybe get a hotel and take a rest night, but there’s really nothing in town at all.

We make camp stove coffee on the hill overlooking the sea and make a plan: we’ll ride the ten miles up the coast via pavement to the next town and stay there, I suppose. It isn’t very appealing. We’ve barely set out when Adam spies a dirt path that looks more fun. We take it, and it dead-ends on the beach. Rats. TURN THE BIKE AROUND! On the way back, we find a little spur trail and check it out. HOLY SHIT! It’s the most perfect secluded beautiful campsite you’ve ever seen. It’s a meadow full of blooming flowers! There’s a picnic table and a fire ring and a tree swing! There is no way in hell we’re going anywhere else.

Headwinds and pavement and castle ruins

The campsite is breezy, which means we get to pack up a perfectly dry tent in the morning. We are pretty tired, and the paved cycling route to Dunbar is brutal. Ugly. Industrial. Next to the highway. The headwind is mentally excruciating. It’s hot but cold. It’s sunny and windy. We get to town and have coffee and express our certainty that we would have cried if we’d tried to do this ride yesterday. Every choice we’ve made is the best possible choice. We eat some food, and then push hard back inland on pavement. We’ve got to get out of this wind. We’ve got to get off the pavement. This feels like a penalty day for our follies yesterday. Morale is low, even though we’ve turned onto some narrow beautiful flower-lined roads. And suddenly, when we can’t take it anymore, we are at the Hailes Castle ruin, and we have mountain bikes, so we ride down the stairs and into the castle. This is the fucking best.

The last few miles to the town of Gifford are less windy, and the hills are bigger rollers. We realize we've forgotten to eat enough, thinking only of the relatively short distance and not of the effort required to ride into a headwind all day. We eat a thousand snacks once we get to town, and get a room at the Goblin Ha’ Hotel, because if there’s a hotel called Goblin Ha’ … who would not stay here? It’s the whole reason we decided to stop at this particular town! We take glorious hot showers and lay around. I wonder what the story is behind the hotel name.

Summon the goblin army

Oh, the story of the Goblin Ha' is better than I could have hoped. Yester Castle was built by Sir Hugo de Gifford, who was something of a necromancer or alchemist or practitioner of the dark arts, and the story goes that he summoned an army of goblins to build a hall of his castle, and there’s maybe also a portal to hell. I mean, the goblins have to come from somewhere, so the portal makes sense to me. We must go there. Obviously.

We ask the woman who runs the village store for directions. She walks with me out to the street and points at the farthest building in our line of sight. “Go past that building, and cut through the opening in the fence. It’ll bring you through some houses, and then you duck off to a deer path on the right. You’ll know you’re going the right way when you pass some Highland cattle. You’ll go over a bridge with a sign that says ‘unsafe structure’ but it’s fine, we all use the bridge. You go down a steep hill and back up the other side, and you’ll see it. I don’t know if it’s the best way, but it’s better than the road, anyway.” These are the best directions I’ve ever been given in my life. We find the ruins, and immediately Adam finds a skeleton key in a cubby on the wall. Maybe it opens the portal to hell, I don’t know, I’m too scared to even look for a lock. We climb all over, enjoying the serendipity of happening upon something so terrific. What luck, what serendipity. The woods are full of blooming forget-me-nots.

We cut through a farm to get back to our original route, and get a proper scolding from a farmer who has had too many frustrating experiences with hikers to want to deal with us. It is probably pretty irritating to live next to a famous ruin, and have a bunch of people bothering your livestock and not closing your gates. I tell her I am sorry to have added to her frustration, and she softens. She directs us back to the road, past this little fenced in building. What is it? It’s a dovecot. What’s that? It’s a building full of little cubbies, for raising pigeons. It’s pronounced ducat. “You’ll get beat up if you say dove cot,” she says, and then tells us that we’ll get beat up if we try to pay for things in euros. It cracks me up, because nobody has even been a little bit salty with us on this trip. I apologize again for the trespass, and mention that it’s hard for me to tell, because where I am from, there would be private property and no trespassing signs all over. “Nobody wants to put up signs!” she protests. Well.

We head out onto the road past the dovecot and realize after a mile or two that we’ve gone the wrong direction. TURN THE BIKE AROUND. We find some pavement that turns into a great dirt road that turns into great singletrack that turns into an overgrown patch of stinging nettle and hurts our legs very much, and then suddenly a perfect little stone tower appears in the middle of the nettle. We get closer and see that it has a door. We nerve ourselves up and try it. It opens! God damn if it isn’t another dovecot, and now we know what it is and what it’s called and I laugh out loud. I would never have known if we hadn’t accidentally trespassed on Lucy’s farm. Thanks Lucy, and sorry, again.

We zigzag across some beautiful luminous golden fields of rapeseed and onto some fast pavement, and then duck through a hole in a stone wall onto an estate where Mary, Queen of Scots surrendered in 1567, and where there is a network of purpose-built mountain bike trails. How much magic is in Scotland if we’ve found so much in such a small area?

We are getting pretty close to the end of the route and it will either be some semi-urban camping, or an earlier finish than we want, so we stop in a small town and fill up our water, eat some ice cream, and re-route again: let’s go back to the Pentlands. It’s so beautiful there, and I want to go back! We cut west on a cycling route, and it’s a little hard to follow and not that fun and we are tired. It’s our biggest mileage day yet. But we make it just fine, and have a picnic dinner in the sun. Adam knows just where we should camp, and leads us to the little patch of woods I’d noticed on our first day of riding -- I’d commented “that looks like a great campsite for a quick overnighter from town!” Confirmed! It’s a great campsite! We find a flat spot among the trees, set up camp, watch sheep tv from the tent, and chatter into the night.

Sleep in among the sheep

I sleep hard, and wake up as usual at 4:15 when it first starts to get light out. The other days, I’ve just rolled back over and gone back to sleep, but this morning I get up out of the tent and am stunned by a vivid red sunrise. I pause to enjoy it a while before climbing back into the tent and sacking out for a few more hours. There’s no rush. We make breakfast and noodle around the hills. The wind picks up and my body is exhausted. It starts to rain lightly, and we call it a day and head home. Back in college, Adam and I formed the Piss Poor Bike Gang. I put gold foil star stickers on our helmets. I think the only “rule” of the gang was that you had to wear a helmet. I was trying to learn to be more confident riding in the city. Adam was working on learning to ride clipped in. Our cooler, more bike-savvy friends guided us on easy local rides. We fell over slowly. We ate a lot of snacks. I could not have known then that we were setting the stage for a grand adventure all these years later, but looking back, it’s plain as day.

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demon-vs-angel · 8 years ago

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Monday January 23, 2017 2:18 AM

Hey there world.

So I skipped my blog post last Thursday in case you didn't notice which probably no one did. I had been working a lot writing posts for our other site so when I was done the last thing I wanted to do was write more. I put it off until Thursday night and by the time I got to it I was way more than a little tipsy and I tried writing something worth reading and it was absolute shit.

I started my diet again on the 9th to lose some weight. I was at around 137 after the holidays which was ten pounds more than when we got married a year and a half ago. Along with a calorie deficit I was going to just give up alcohol. I had drunken a fair amount around the holidays, especially when hanging out with my in-laws which is super stressful and anxiety causing for me. Even when I wasn't doing anything with them and I was just hanging out at home I wanted to drink because I was still stressed out about things that had happened or while thinking about things that might happen in the future.

I didn't even last a week. I think at some point in the middle of that first week back on my diet I drank again. I factored it into my calories for the week and didn't skip any of my workouts to drink or because I was hung over but I wasn't crazy about having let myself down.

So I started a new standard that I discussed with my husband and he thought it was a good idea. Basically, I would eat about 100 calories less than my goal each day and then on the weekend to celebrate or have fun with him I would have around 600 calories I could eat or drink.

I didn't even last a week. When he went to his small group on Tuesday the 17th I drank and filmed some videos on my phone that no one will probably ever see. I don't know why but drinking when I am home alone and can kind of just do my own thing is a lot of fun for me. I actually planned on writing my post for Thursday on that day and I did not do that obviously.

On top of this, on Friday it was raining a whole lot and my brother in law called my husband and asked if we wanted to go hiking in the mountains with him and his gf. I had a bunch of work I wanted to get done but it doesn't normally rain out here so we decided to go. I don't know why but I thought we were going to be able to get to the mountain (which is about 50 min drive away) before it got dark even though my husband said it would be. I thought it would just be dusk which is one of my favorite times to hike so I was actually pretty excited. Well we got stuck in traffic and I started getting pissed cause I realized it would be pitch black and I no longer wanted to go at all.

Not to mention that my brother in law called again and said he was going to be like two hours late. I don't know why this even bothers me anymore, he is literally ALWAYS late. Like, every single time we plan something. At this point I was so over it and really didn't want to go because we went way out of our way to accommodate their schedule and then they are gonna pull this shit?

So me and my husband decided to go to Pizza Hut and get some dinner to kill time and I said I wished I had drunken before we left and he said we could fix that. We went to a liquor store and got a bottle of wine, picked up the pizza, and then headed to his parents' house to wait for his brother cause his parents live about 15 minutes away from where we were going to be going hiking.

When we got to their house we drank the entire bottle of wine while eating the pizza. His mom also suggested we make margaritas because she was going to make one for his dad later the celebrate inauguration of Trump. I think I ended up drinking two margaritas with only about a shot in each but that plus the wine got me pretty buzzed.

I was actually trying to drink as much as possible because I reeeeeaally didn't want to go on the hike at night. I have hiked at night in the rain a lot growing up in Oregon and I just didn't want to. I tried to get everyone to want to go the next day since it was Saturday but no one wanted to but me. I was miserable.

Over the last entire week I have also been pretty depressed which is pretty normal for me the week before I get my period (which I got yesterday) but it always makes me feel really bad about myself and life. I also cut again a few days ago for the first time in months. So on Friday night, on a hike I really didn't want to go, I was very buzzed and very uninterested in life.

We were looking for this waterfall that we had hiked to a couple other times but we missed the turn off on the trail for it so we ended up walking about two miles all the way up, all the way back down, and all the way up again before we found it.

Along the way I grabbed a rock, carried it in the pocket of my hoodie and scrapped it across my wrists while we walked while chanting in my mind “you're stupid, you're worthless, you're an idiot.”

The hike wasn't that bad actually just because I was numb to my own suffering from the alcohol and we did end up finding the waterfall. It was actually really gorgeous because there was tons of water from the rain and there were mountains all around us that had snow that looked really cool. We sat by the waterfall for a while before hiking back and then driving back to my in law's house where we had left our car.

When we got back to their house I grabbed my change out of our car and me and my husband headed inside so I could change cause I was soaked from the rain while my brother in law and his gf stayed in his truck outside.

I finished changing and then my husband came in the bathroom and we were just drying off and stuff and then his brother, after having not even come inside to say his to his dad who had not been home when we stopped by earlier or hang out at all, yelled from the front door that he and his gf were going home and for us to have a good night.

Literally every time we have gotten together, just the four of us or the whole family, they leave early and will never stay later. Earlier on in the night his gf had even suggested we hit the town later after the hike and now they leave without even coming in? I was so fucking done. I didn't even say good night or yell out “bye.” If they can't bother themselves then neither will I. I had already put a ton of work into a hike I did not want to go on for the good of the group and that is how they repay my politeness? Fuck that.

My husband went out and said bye to them, I finished drying off.

Then we made two more margaritas. I was pretty buzzed all night. My husband can drink like 5 times I can of liquor so he felt fine to drive home about 2 hours later.

We got home, changed, went to bed.

Last night (Saturday) I went and got groceries and I also got spiced rum and stuff to make pina coladas. I figured my diet was already screwed from the day before and I wanted to have fun with my husband. When I got home he wanted to clean the garage so I ended up basically drinking alone. I made us tacos for dinner which we ate together and then he got back to work and I went upstairs to go on my computer in our warm office.

I made two pina coladas with about a shot of rum in each and then took at least three single shots. I still felt really bad emotionally from the previous night and was kind of lonely and really wanted to cut again.

So, I showed and after the shower I cut again. It hurt and afterwards I kind of regretted it because it is such a pain dealing with it afterwards but at the same time it felt really good.

Here is the really fun part. I didn't drink enough water while I drank last night so I had a bad hangover today plus the fact that the first full day of my period I always get really bad cramps so I have felt like complete shit almost all day and have just been laying down, dying, sleeping, etc.

Now, my brother in law's gf, lets call her Elle, cannot function without a drink. Every time we have hung out, when she is sober she hardly talks and is so awkward. Give her a drink and she opens up, talks, laughs, makes conversation, smiles, etc. It is literally like two different people. She has admitted that she gets tired of hanging around people and just wants to be alone at the end of the day, which I have totally felt, but I don't think she can even really socialize without a drink.

I like to have a drink, it makes it way easier to deal with people like my in laws that I have a really hard time dealing with so I get her. But I do not want to be her.

Alcohol is not the answer. Lately every time we have gone out with them or my parents in law, or if anyone stops by our house without warning, I take a drink... or three.

I really hate people a lot of times. I have a lot of anxiety that plagues almost my every second.

Alcohol is becoming a crutch for me to be able to function socially. The bad part though is that it also makes my self harm addiction harder to stay away from. It makes a temporary shield against the bad parts of social encounters but all the anxious thoughts are still there later and I am not developing ways to actually deal with them, I just keep running away. One of my absolute favorite, if not my number one, place to turn to when I am running is self harm and the alcohol just encourages it.

I refuse to be Elle. I think she is weak. I hate that she calls herself this great Christian and is a school counselor and yet, I believe, has an addiction to alcohol.

I cannot describe how weak I think she is. To not even be able to hang out with us, and we are pretty chill, without a drink. I hate it. I have hung out with them plenty of times sober to try and have fun It makes it feel like she really doesn't want to be with us. Not to mention as soon as she sobers up at the end of the night it is always mysteriously when she wants to go home. Everything about her seems fake right now because I don't think she has ever been 100 percent genuine with me because the only time she seems herself is when she is drinking and that is not real, I know, I do it to hide myself and yet fit in with other people better.

So, I have decided something. I am not going to drink for a whole month.

The only exception will be if my husband wants to on Valentines day but that will be it, and it will only be with him and lead by him to make sure I don't go overboard.

I am also committing to not cutting myself again. It is not worth the stress of trying to hide it and get it to heal and it does not actually solve anything long term.

While committing to these two things I am also going to actively work on my anxiety and worry workbook and actually try to move forward with my mental health like I am with my physical health.

Alcohol isn't the worse thing ever and I think I will always like drinking. But I never want to rely on it to survive a social situation, that is how problems start. I am starting to rely on it way too much. My in laws are also drinking more than they used to which is not helping me.

I am tired of hang overs, I am tired of being unable to function socially without it, and I am tired of the depression I am left with days later because of it.

I will keep notes on how my mental and physical health are progressing and hopefully over the coming weeks and months we will see a positive change!

I will continue to update at least once a week on what I am doing, what's working, how my addictions are, etc. and if this helps out anyone else then great :) Sorry if this is kinda long, I am too good at writing too many words :/

This is my war, I'm gonna fucking win it. Goodnight.

#selfharm #anxiety #cutting #recovery #addiction #selfharmmm

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mikeyd1986 · 6 years ago

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MIKEY’S PERSONAL BLOG 138, January 2019

Developing any new routine or habit takes a considerable amount of time and patience. It doesn’t matter whether you have a mental illness and a disability or not, it’s just simply not going to instantly happen. And this is the logic I have to follow when it comes to building a new routine for myself when it comes to household cleaning tasks and cooking meals at home.

There’s a lot of preparation involved with both of these things plus finding the effort and motivation to physically complete them. But fortunately my occupational therapist Ambika has put together a rough daily schedule to put aside time to do just that. Plus I’ve also got my parents for support when it comes to which cleaning products I need to use and what ingredients I need to buy. So it’s not as daunting as it seems on the surface.

On Monday afternoon, I had an appointment with my occupational therapist Ambika from Everyday Independence. Today I had my first cooking trial and I decided to make Spaghetti Bolognese as it was one of the simplest recipes I could think of at the time. It felt like I was on a cooking segment without the producers, drama and television cameras. Luckily I had all my ingredients stocked and recipe printed out and ready to go. https://www.taste.com.au/recipes/spaghetti-bolognese/335cceba-3913-4172-8a28-44ad7a960ef4

It was helpful to have Mum in the kitchen with me as she was a good assistant and provided some wise safety tips as I was going along like: always lifting the saucepan lid away from you when it’s on the heat and using separate bowls for cut vegetables and any scraps. I think the most difficult part for me is making it a habit to cook once a week and motivating myself to actually do it. But otherwise cooking isn’t too hard for me really. https://www.reluctantgourmet.com/basics/

On Monday night, I had my first small group HIIT class of 2019 with Cinamon Guerin at CinFull Fitness. Like anything you’ve taken a break from, it’s often a struggle getting back into the swing of things but tonight there was nothing stopping this crew. It was a full house tonight and we managed to power through many reps including kettle bell squats, mountain climbers, renegade push ups, overhead presses, star jumps, bicep curls, med ball slams and V-ups.

We finished up by doing a short circuit which included Russian twists, weighted lunges and lifts, battle ropes, kettle bell swings, tricep dips, TRX rows and bicep curls and mountain climbers on synthetic grass. It was a challenging class as always (my form wasn’t the best and my legs were shaking by the end of it) but we all had a lot of fun supporting each other and getting through it together.

On Tuesday afternoon, I had a follow up appointment with my psychiatrist Dr. Ricardo Peralta at Vita Healthcare in Mount Eliza. After receiving the following text message from OPTIMIND last week (Dr. Ricardo Peralta will no longer be consulting at OPTIMIND), I started to worry about whether I’d need to seek out another psychiatrist. But fortunately the reception staff at Vita Healthcare reached out to me a few days ago and informed me that Dr. Ricardo has moved clinics and that my appointment for today was still valid. http://www.vitahealthcare.com.au/psychiatry.html

Mount Eliza is a beautiful coastal town located on the Mornington Peninsula, about 5 minutes drive from Frankston. It’s a relief to know that Dr. Ricardo hasn’t moved too far away from Patterson Lakes and it only takes me about 35-40 minutes to drive to Mount Eliza from home. It’s not very often that I drive down there and it’s always nice to explore a different area once in a while. https://www.travelvictoria.com.au/mounteliza/

Getting to the clinic on time was a stressful endeavour as I ended up cutting through the back streets of Frankston and then had to navigate unfamiliar territory in the heart of Mount Eliza. But I made it there and that’s the main thing. When I arrived, I noticed that both receptionists were super busy taking phone calls but eventually I got their attention. The waiting room was very comfortable with the walls lined with plush two-seater sofas.

I usually get really anxious leading up to the appointment itself but once I’m in that consultation room, I immediately feel more at ease. Today was probably the most relaxed I’ve ever been with Dr. Ricardo, discussing things like increasing my antidepressant medication from 10mg to 15 or 20mg (Escitalopram / Lexapro) and my stress/emotional triggers at work, the times when I get the most overwhelmed and anxious while working in a busy retail environment and still waking up around 3-4am most nights.

It also helped that he met me halfway, literally sitting across from me in one of the armchairs. This is certainly a noticeable difference compared to most doctors who would refuse to sit in anything but an office chair behind a desk. That image of authority; I’m the doctor and you’re the patient. And his mannerisms showed that he had a down to earth, human side to him rather than the cold and clinical stereotypes often associated with psychiatrists.

It’s amazing to think that in just a few months I’ve begun to really trust and open up to Dr. Ricardo and I feel thankful that he ended up being my psychiatrist. He is very reasonable, understanding and compassionate to my needs. And he was more than happy to increase the dosage of my medication, especially in order to cope and better manage my symptoms of depression, anxiety, stress and insomnia. 10mg just isn’t quite cutting it.

On Wednesday morning, I made the mistake of increasing my antidepressant medication way too quickly. Within an hour, I was already experiencing some strong side effects such as feeling flustered and feverish in the face, light headedness and blurred vision. Luckily Mum and I were nearby First Health Medical Centre at Casey Central Shopping Centre so I could get checked out.

The receptionist was quick to put me onto the first available doctor who was Dr. David Tai Kie. I only had to wait around 5 minutes or so before he saw me. After explaining that my psychiatrist recommended the dosage increase after starting the 10mg for around 1-2 months, I wasn't prepared for all the side effects jumping straight to 20mg. Dr. Tai Kie recommended that I alternate the doses between 10mg and 20mg over the next week to allow my body to adjust to it. https://www.healthline.com/health/escitalopram-oral-tablet

The receptionist was also very helpful when it came to getting my medical records transferred from Narregate Medical Centre to First Health, as well as informing me what hours Dr. Tai Kie works should I want to see him again. Considering how average I was feeling through all of this, I couldn't have been happier with the level of service I received especially from my first visit. Highly recommend this clinic and Dr. David Tai Kie. https://www.firsthealth.net.au/our-clinics/narre-warren-south-clinic/

On Thursday morning, Mum and I visited the Wilson Botanic Park Berwick. Today I was determined to not let anything ruin my visit here so I had no appointments on and any phone calls and messages from people would have to wait (Sorry, NOT sorry). It was a beautiful partly cloudy 23 degree day so perfect conditions for a walk around. We decided to walk around the Basalt Lake track featuring a boardwalk, large volcanic rocks and a bird hide.

We managed to spot a few turtles and birds around the edges of the lake as well as on the rock deposits and tall grass. We only spent about an hour at the park but that was more than enough for both of us. They had a train ride making regular trips around the lakeside trails with many children and parents on board. I always seem to feel very peaceful and relaxed whenever I’m here, so long as my phone doesn’t become a huge distraction!

On Thursday night, I went to an RPM class with Nicky at YMCA Casey RACE in Cranbourne East. I was feeling so tired this afternoon that I literally dozed off in bed and then freaked myself out a little when I woke up and saw that the time was 4:50 PM. I had to put the air conditioner on high in my car just to keep myself alert driving to Casey RACE. Luckily I managed to arrive there safely and on time for my class. https://www.caseyrace.ymca.org.au/gym/group-fitness

Our instructor Nicky was certainly interesting to say the least. From her dreadful, croaky singing voice to her wild yelling and crazy, infectious enthusiasm, she was far from boring and made the class more exciting. She selected a diverse mixture of older tracks including: Good Time by Owl City & Carly Rae Jepsen (RPM 58), Ugly Heart by G.R.L. (RPM 66), Kings and Queens by Thirty Seconds To Mars (RPM 53) and Kick Start My Heart by Motley Crue (RPM 39). http://www.totallylesmills.com/site/rpm

Considering how sleepy and exhausted I’ve been feeling today, I still managed to put in a decent effort today with my workout, hitting an average range of 60-70 RPM and a maximum of 128 RPM. I burned around 348 calories and cycled a total distance of around 18.5 km. https://lesmills.com.au/rpm

On Friday morning, I had an appointment with my Speech Pathologist Amon from Everyday Independence. Once again, I was getting myself really nervous and worked up for no reason at all. I turned the radio on because dealing with dead pan silence is absolutely excruciating and uncomfortable for me. Plus having background music tends to put my nerves at ease. I guess it’s just that feeling of “not knowing” that gets me so worked up because I like to be prepared.

Today we worked on some strategies that can be used to achieve my goals: making new friendships, feeling more confident in social situations and spending more time hanging out with friends. A lot of it was quite hypothetical which is something I find challenging, thinking on my feet and without structure. But it felt good knowing that I came up with a plan going forward with conversation starters, how to interact with other people, what to say and making conversations flow better.

On Friday night, I did my first Restorative/Yin yoga class with Dani Iacovelli at Soul Flame Yoga in Beaconsfield. I think one of my biggest challenges from last year was my reluctance to embrace change and it's the reason why I quickly turned away from Soul Flame Yoga. After practicing yoga at this studio under the name "Just Be Yoga & Meditation" for over 8 years, it came as a rude shock when the studio name suddenly got changed. I couldn't handle it. It wasn't the same for me. And that "fight or flight" reaction took over me. I fled as fast as possible.

But now that I've had several months to process this, I'm willing to give the studio another shot this year. To be fair, something keeps drawing me back there whether it be the location in Beaconsfield, the yoga teachers and students or the studio space itself, which has recently been renovated and redecorated over the last 12 months or so. The colour scheme now includes a soft pale grey, stone grey, khaki green and eucalyptus green whilst still retaining elements of the original design such as the props area and wall unit in the reception area for personal belongings. https://www.facebook.com/pg/soulflameyoga/

Dani was very warm in her approach and immediately set me at ease. She offered the yoga class for free as technically this was my first time at Soul Flame but I was still grateful for the gesture. I have to admit that I was a little rusty on the mat tonight as it’s been a few weeks since my last proper yoga class but I quickly got into the rhythm again.

Dani gave us lots of options tonight and I decided to take many of the prop-assisted variations given how tight and inflexible my joints and muscles were feeling tonight. The poses and movements were did in tonight’s class include: Frog pose, Pigeon pose, Low Lunge, Downward Facing Dog, Lizard pose and Reclined Bound Ankle pose.

I didn’t stick around for the 45 minute meditation afterwards as I was really tired already and felt like I did enough today. I think the most important thing that I gained from tonight is that my fears and anxieties have gently evaporated. I still have a sense of belonging here which is something I’ve been wanting for years, particularly in a yoga studio. It’s often tough finding a place that you feel connected at but Soul Flame Yoga could indeed be the one. https://www.soulflameyoga.com.au/our-story/

“All this running around. Trying to cover my shadow. An ocean growing inside. All the others seem shallow. All this running around. Bearing down on my shoulders. I can hear an alarm. Must be morning. I heard about a whirlwind that's coming 'round. It's gonna carry off all that isn't bound.” Tame Impala - Let It Happen (2015)

“I was raging, it was late. In the world my demons cultivate. I felt the strangest emotion but it wasn't hate, for once. Yes I'm changing, yes I'm gone. Yes I'm older, yes I'm moving on... They say people never change, but that's bullshit, they do.” Tame Impala - Yes I’m Changing (2015)

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captain-unlikelynutbouquet-blog · 7 years ago

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Car insurance? Do they check your credit rating?

"Car insurance? Do they check your credit rating?

I have just phoned to change my insurance over to another car, and was told twice that it was declined - firstly, he said due to the group of insurance, and secondly, I was told that the operator had a system problem. I am a bit concerned as I know my credit rating is bad at the moment, but I am trying to better it, and I don't know if this is why my insurance was declined? I thought that they had to tell you if they carry out a credit search, but nothing was mentioned and I don't particularly want it going against me if it was searched twice. I have paid my insurance for the year, and was going to pay any extra instantly, so there would be no need for a credit search as far as I can see. Does anyone have any more information on whether they credit search you or not for this?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://saleinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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""Cheap, but safe cars with low insurance [group 5 or less]?""

Are there cars [excluding super mini cars] that are big [i.e. saloon cars etc], but are generally cheap to insure for young drivers. As it seems the only ones that have cheap insurance are the super mini cars, and I don't really want one.""

Does anybody know how much it cost for insurance for a 16 year old in Arkansas?

What will insurance pay?

If my car is totaled, which amount on the Kelly Blue Book will the insurance base payment on.""

USAA Auto insurance extra monthly bill?

Hi we've been with USAA for over 10 yrs now for our Auto/Recreation insurance company. This month on our bill i noticed our rates went up by 35+ dollars per month. I called and they said nothing has changed in our policy. They told us because the dates our policy renewed we have an extra bill in this cycle. So they had to charge us more so we wouldn't have to pay 2 bills in 1 month. I am so confused it seems like were making an extra payment for nothing. We Pay every month on time , so I'm not sure why we have to pay an extra payment to avoid a double billing. Only thing they could tell me is that it happens to alot of policyholders once or twice in the lifetime of the policy. Seems strange to me. Thanks for your responses!""

Why does my car insurance provider ask for other people in household?

Does it matter who I live with if they aren't going to be driving my car? How will it affect my rates? When I first got my insurance I lived with roommates - they had good driving records but still they never drove my car (they had their own!), now I live with my fiance who has a DUI - will my rates go up because of it? He has his own truck and SUV so we rarely ride my car and when we do I ALWAYS drive... so why do I need to tell my insurance company (Mercury) who else resides in my home?!""

Help on AT&T insurance?

Okay so when I got my upgrade I got the htc one x with insurance . A month later my friend traded me a galaxy nite for my htc one x . And now my galaxy note doesn't want to work will the insurance cover the note?

I have no insurance and need an abortion?

Please dont judge im young and recently found out im pregnant. But im not ready for a baby... I would love to keep my child but if my parents ever found out they'd literally disown me. I have no insurance and I dont know how much an abortion would cost. I was thinking about getting the abortion pill still not sure. How much would that cost?I checked online but it didnt say anything about abortion.

What are Insurance groups all about?

And... 1. Is a 1.4 engine car okay for a 17 year old? Or does it HAVE to be 1.2 2. Honda Civic or Volkswagen Polo? 3. A rough idea on the insurance cost per year for third party fire and theft?

Which Insurance company is best for Whole Life Insurance ?

I have search only 2 big compnay Metlife and New York Life. I am 24 years old and want that whole life insurance for my life. So i want to know which compnay i need to choose for whole life insurance.... Metlife or New York Life ? I have quote from metlife Insurance...Agent told me my premium payment gonna be $3510.00 per anuual for $500,000.00 ( insurance amount). and i am 24 yeras old it has cash value too.. So i need some information from ur side...should i take it or ?""

Is it illegal to not have insurance on a car you don't drive?

It's tagged and everything, just don't see the point in paying for car insurance if it isn't getting driven.""

""Will my insurance go up, if my parked car was hit and not occupied?""

My Car was hit While parked and was not occupied (nobody was in the car) The car that hit my car, pulled out of the parking spot and was trying to hide. i went and filed a collission report against the driver. what will happen now, will my insurance rate go up? or will i be at 100% no fault. I know some insurance companies try to rip us off. plz help

Aussie car insurance?

who are the cheapest car insurance company for aussie p platers also.. are there any companies that offer reduced term cover.. id like 6 months insurance so i can take up a years insurance once thats finished to break up insurance and rego

Canceling car insurance?

i got some car insurance for a car i was purchasing today as i did not want to drive it home over 100 miles with out none , i only took it out yesterday but when i went to pick up the car it had obtained some problems that it did not have before so i have not brought it. i was told when i got the insurance that i would have 14 days to cancel it but when i rung them up today to cancel it they have said i can not and i will have to pay all of the premium in full, i explained to them why i was needing to cancel it and was told it is not their fault and i still have to pay all outstanding monies , is this right . this is with swinton if it matters.""

Car insurance? Do they check your credit rating?

I am 16 almost 17 and am looking for a car and am wondering what the insurance rats would be on a porsche 944

this would be my second car and its a really nice 1985 Porsche 944 (non-turbo) it has only 67K miles on it and is in excellent shape I am just wondering if my insurance would go up i pay about 130 $ a month on a Pontiac grand am ... would it go up? if so do you know how much?

How much do you pay for car insurance?

""Why is my car insurance for my 1st car, 2500 and my friends insurance is only 1500 for his 1st car??""

Why is my car insurance for my 1st car, 2500 and my friends insurance is only 1500 for his 1st car?? This is confusing me, both our annual milage is estimated to be 5000 miles, they are both in group one insurance groupes, they are both a 1.1L etc, everything is the same apart from the make of the vehicles. I have treid other vehicle qoutes, but yet my insurance qoute is still 2500, and my friend qoutes is only 1500.""

Health insurance?????????????????????...

should government help on health insurance? y or y not?

What is the renewal process for car insurance?

Do they call in around expiration of the policy. Or is it a form you fill out. What questions do they ask? In particular, say you failed your G test before the expiry of the insurance policy and you redo everything and get a G or G2, will your insurance rate remain the same?""

I need a cheap auto Insurance company.?

Can anyone recommend a specific company in California that they use and was either told or knows that they are a low cost agency? Thanks for your help.

Life insurance with gerber life?

hey everybody...im thinking of taking life insurance with gerber life..im getting a lot of pish posh from the company, they seem to be circumventing my questions....im curious has anybody ever filed a claim with them regarding the passing of a loved one, or tried to make a claim with them? my dad...god rest his soul tried to get a life insurance policy claimed when his sister passed on, he was beneficary,,and i remember they gave him a hard time about the policy...if you can suggest a life insurance co you have id be intrested....serious answears only please""

Car Insurance for Young Driver (UK)?

Hi, I'll get straight to the point, I'm 17 almost 18 and am looking 2 buy my 1st car. I live a upper class life, and when it comes down to cars i do get to travel in in style. e.g. my dad drives a Jaguar S-Type, my mother a brand new 2008 Land Rover Freeland, and i do know people with Bentley's and this one guy i know will take me out for a drive in his Aston Martin Vanquish. I do like to stick out from a crowd and this is a amazing opportunity to do so at college. My 1st car is definitely goin on my dads policy, and by then i will have my full license. I have seen Jaguar XJ's for sale which i can afford, but my greatest question is how much would the insurance be. If someone who is a young driver who drives a Jaguar or something similer could give me a rough guess to how much insurance wud be?, i wud be greatfull or someone who has insured a young driver on there Jaguar?.""

Do I need to get tested for smoking to get health insurance?

Im not a smoker but I can have the occasional cigarette with friends

""I have experience working in the health insurance industry, now im wondering what job I could apply for?

I worked as a medical case manager at an insurance company. We were a 3rd party company. I did phone interviews with people applying for individual insurance for several ...show more

Are you supposed to have car insurance at 15?

i just thought of this just now and i remember having to pay for auto insurance at 15 just for a school permit for school and back and i hear some people dont have insurance was i right to pay for it or was i tricked because he says you have to be 16 and said he'll accidentally put that i am and say it was a mistake to the company, i think this is a trick but idk and again others dont pay for insurance but were they just too cheap to do it and risk the consinquence? or did i get tricked back then by my insurer""

What the hell is wrong with my insurance quote?? Help please?

Hi, I've just been to confused.com and obtained a quote for the car I want - FORD MONDEO VERONA 16V 1997-2000 1796cc 5 DOOR HATCHBACK Manual Petrol - this 2nd hand car has done around 12,0000 mileage My cheapest premium was 4329?? Why on earth is it so expensive?? Is it the fact that I'm a 20 year old male? Or that I've just had my licence for a month? Or I've only lived in the UK for 3 years? Engine size?? State of car??? Please let me know than you""

Should i use life insurance or annuity or retirement?

my wife has a non qualified annuity @ 3% fixed rate. my question is on her renewel medicaid application should i use annuity-retirement or life insurance policy. thanks for any help & may GOD bless.

Can I have car insurance from California in Maryland?

I spoke to a representative of the car insurance from California and she said that it was fine. And that she had many clients from all over the nation. Does anyone know more about this? Thanks!

Will Insurance goes up when I change my car motor?

i am trying to buy a car. but some cars are cheap when they changed out their motors. how much will the insurance go up if the motor is changed. and how much will the insurance go up if the car is modified?

Why do wives have to be on husbands car insurance?

I have been under my parents car insurance for my whole driving life and now I am married. My husband is a new driver in the USA, and because we just bought a new car, we have to be ...show more""

""Car insurance, Help!?""

I crashed my car into another car, both card sustained minimal damage, I just payed for my car to be fixed without consulting my insurance, is this illegal? And furthermore could I settle a money agreement with the guy I crashed into? is this all legal? Also if the guy decided to go through insurance would someone come inspect my car or inspect his... Basically what would the whole procedure be? I haven't contacted him yet""

""Okay, so how much does neutering/spaying a dog cost? Will insurance companies cover it?""

1 - How much does it on average cost to get a female dog neutered/spayed? 2 - I will be buying insurance from the day we get her (8 weeks old) so would my insurance cover the cost? (I know it varies on actual insurance plans, but Im wondering if its a complete 'they never pay for that' sort of thing?) 3 - How long is the recovery time? How long after the op can I take her home? How long will she have the cone of shame? I have googled this but I get a bunch of long winded answers that dont really answer the questions""

Can I get a loan for a car but put the car in someone else's name?

So I need a new car mine is totally done for and I wanted to get a loan for a car but my insurance will be crazy high, my boyfriend has Usaa and said he'd put it on his insurance cause it'd be way cheaper but can we put the car in his name if I'm the one getting the loan?""

What should I do if my attorney is not paying me my insurance money(california)?

ok.. I've filed a claim against my home insurance company through a lawyer. It was a house related claim. I was told my claim was settled and signed the settlement paper from attorney's office about 5 months ago and still have not received the money yet. So I called the actual insurance company and found out that the money was paid out 4 months ago. When I called my attorney's office, 4 different agents told me different stories and I noticed they might be trying to keep the money. is there any way to file a claim against lawyers? Please help""

Cancelling Car Insurance questions any help please?

Okay, first and foremost thanks for reading. The situation with me right now is I'm thinking about cancelling my car insurance after this month. This is my first time having insurance but I can't afford the payments because I have been unsuccessful in getting a job. Not only that but the car cannot be driven again until it is fixed so it will stay in the yard. I didn't get into an accident or anything but it needs a few parts cause they've worn out. So I was just going to get it cancelled/lapsed whatever since there is no point for me to have it if I cannot drive my vehicle. I don't have the money right now to repair it either. I'm thinking about cancelling it, waiting until I get my car fixed and then getting some new insurance. But my mom told me that once your insurance runs out in NC you have to bring the tags back... Does that mean I have to pay the full registration fee again once I get another insurance policy as well? Or can I somehow just keep my tags until I get some new insurance within the next two or three months? By the way the vehicle will stay parked until I have enough money to fix it and insure it.""

Why is my car insurance so high at 18? How can I get it down?

I've just passed my test and learnt in a 1.4 diesel and I have a peugeot 206 1.4 hdi, I had insurance quote for 1800 a month ago and now they are saying its 3700 I don't understand what's changed in a month what's the best way to get it down, I'm going on my Nans policy as a named driver and registering the car in her name and its still 3700! Any ideas? Thanks in advance""

How much (on average) would private health insurance be per month for a family of three?

male 40 y.o., female 36 y.o., and child.""

What happens if to my insurance if i get married?

My parents pay for my insurance and ill have it till I'm 19 if I get married would I no longer have insurance?

How much would car insurance for a 16 girl cost?

Im 16 and thinking of getting a 2000 ford explorer and a 2000 jeep cherokee. how much would my insurence cost? and what car is better to get?

Car insurance? Do they check your credit rating?

Part-time and need affordable health benefits. Any suggestions?

My COBRA is running out in 4 months. Any suggestions for affordable benefits for part-time workers? Thanks!

Do I need car insurance the moment I get my provisional license (CA)?

I'll be going out for my provisional drivers license tomorrow, and I was wondering whether I need car insurance if I do get my provisional license. My parents are planning to allow me to get my provisional license, but won't add me to their policy until a year down the road. Am I allowed to drive alone with my provisional license as long as the car I'm driving is insured by my parents? (California)""

I need info about maternity Insurance?

I currently have insurance through assurant health and I am looking to add maternity insurance. I was contacted by an agent asking me what deductable I wanted a 10 thousand or 5 thousand deductable. The thing is I heard that I may be eligible for medicaide. My husband only makes about 30,000 a year and I am a full time sudent. I am unsure what to do as I am completley in the dark about the situation. Please someone give me some insight thank you""

How can I get a car insurance quote if I'm under 18?

I don't have my license yet but a large part of what decides what car I can get depends on what the car insurance would cost. Since I am under 18 not of the car insurance websites will give me a quote and if i lie about my age it will change the cost. Any ideas?

Two part question--Germany Auto insurance and the IPhone?

1.) What automobile insurance companies do most people use in Germany (German companies not American) to get the best rate? 2.) Will a T- Mobile IPhone from German (T-Mobile) work in the US under a new contract or will i need to get a new phone when i return to the US?

How much is insurance for young men drivers?

I want to get a new car and im 18 years old. My dad says he wont put me on his insurance if i buy a new car but insurance on a new car will be like $400 a month!!!! I have no accidents or tickets my record is clean. Is this normal? I dont live in a bad area and it is a convertible pontiac g6. ThanX

Where can I get affordable dental insurance?

What's the best health insurance coverage and best insurance company?

I'd like suggestions on the best top-notch health insurance coverage/ company in the U.S or just in general. I'd also like to know if there are other companies abroad who provide health insurance coverage for U.S citizens. Finally as a young kid just out of college , with first career job, with no health issues what should i be looking at as far as coverage plans and expenses, looking to save money. I had a student health coverage while in schoolm, but it's since expired. Thanks""

""If i'm under my dad's car insurance plan, does he need to be there when i buy a car?""

Do i have to give the car dealer any of his info? What do i need to show them to prove i have insurance? I live in california, so insurance in required to drive.""

Is it mean to cancel the kids' health insurance?

I pay for all of the health insurance through my job, including his. I told hime that he has 15 days to some for himself and 30 days to get some for the children. He thinks that is a horrible mother because it would all cost me $300 a month but it will cost him $1200 per month. He make 260K per year. I make $70K He he moved out and got involved with someone else. Why should it be free to destroy your family? I really should have done this four months ago when he moved out.""

Insurance of a replica sports car ?

Would I have to pay high insurance on a replica of a sports car, when really the car is actually that the body kit will be going onto is only worth 600 ?""

Insurance for Mustang v6 2014 for 18 year old?

Hi , I'm planning to get a Mustang v6 premium 2014, I'm an international student with 3.7 GPA in High-school I have a clean record even in my country ( no accidents or tickets ) I know it's not possible to get a real accurate estimate but what I want to know if it would exceed 200$ a month ?""

Where can I find inexpensive health Insurance for an individual?

How much would this cost to insure?

Hi, I'm looking to buy my first car. Two I have my eyes on are an automatic 2002 Chevy Camaro and a manual 2001 Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder. Both cost just over 5k. I'm 17, a male, I have good grades, I don't smoke or do drugs, I'm in honors classes and I've taken drivers ed. Approximately how much would they cost to insure? Please don't say They're too challenging to drive , or They have too much power. I've driven cars with power before (both manual and auto) and I don't find it challenging at all. I have pretty good hand eye coordination. Also, my apologies if this somehow gets asked in the UK answers, I'm asking this fairly late at night.""

How much will it cost me to send an used laptop from US to India? including insurance. Is insuring a must?

Thinking of switching to Progressive Insurance?

Would like to know if anyone has Progressive Insurance for auto insurance. Would like to switch to them from Farmers because I can double my coverage for the same price as Farmers. Has anyone had problems with Progressive such as filing a claim? or rate increases for no reason. I have not had an accident in over 14 years, knock on wood. Just afraid if I switch my rates will go up for no reason. I know there is good and bad about Progressive. Any input would help. I live in California""

Car and car insurance for a 16 year old?

What is the best company for a 16 year old to get car insurance from? (needs to be fairly cheap but also, very reliable) Also, what would be the best car to get? (also needs to be fairly cheap and very reliable) Thank you for your time and give as much advice as you can!""

Do I Need Car Insurance to drive my parents car?

I live in ct and i was wondering can i drive my parenst car as long as they have car insurance on a registered car or do i have to be on a policy too?

Learning to drive questions?

From england. Ok so a few quetrions. On average, how many lessons does it usually take before you can take the test? Is there a set minimum of lessons or do you take the test when you feel ready? How much on average does each lesson cost? Is it true i wont be able to get insurance on a 1.8 or 1.6? How much did you spend on your first car? Answers to do with England please !""

Can i get a better insurance for my car?

I just bought a car last week. My fiance and I are in the registration. The lender of the car (GM Financial) is asking to have my fiance in the insurance but he does not have a license since he had a DUI back in 2010 and other little felonies. He have a bad driving record and my insurance (Allied Insurance) wants to charge me 289.00 a month. Can i find a cheaper insurance for the both of us?

Which company provides the cheapest car insurance in the UK?

I recently passed my driving test, so for a first time driver its going to be high but what if i am an additional driver""

Why is it hard to find medical Insurances?

i have a heart condition, why is it hard to find medical insurances?""

How long should I get a term life insurance policy for?

I'm researching term policies to cover the shortfall for life insurance from my work. How long is reasonable to get a term policy for? Term to 60, 75 or 100 years?""

Teenagers and car insurance again?

so i just posted a question asking if insurance costs more for a 18 year old. i loved all the answers they were really helpful. so the story is my friend thinks she's gonna insure a car and pay only 60 a month in arkansas but my moms insurance company says me being 18 i would pay over 100 dollars because im so young. ive had everyone tell me that thats right so it sounds pretty impossible for a new driver 18 years old to pay such a cheap price right? please give me some insight!!!

Getting into a car accident with a 16-year-old uninsured driver?

I live in San Diego, California. I recently got into a car accident with a 16-year-old uninsured driver, who was using his mother's car at the time and had two underaged passengers. I was in a business area (25 MPH) and I was switching lanes into the right lane. I had my right hand blinker on and was in the process of switching lanes. The 16-year-old driver was speeding and quickly hit my front right end. I had a witness - who reported two things - with the police, he reported that the 16-year-old tried to avoid me by getting into the bike lane, but then reported with my insurance company that the 16-year-old ran straight into my car at 50 MPH. They are currently finding me 80% at fault because of the police report. The police report was obviously misrepresented. What steps can I take to fix this?""

Car insurance? Do they check your credit rating?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/car-insurance-17-help-needed-zerneisen-sasha"

0 notes

itsworn · 7 years ago

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Ask Anything: Your Tech Questions Answered

Joe Stinson; via email: I’m one of the rare few with a big block Corvette that actually races the thing. My ’72 coupe has a nearly stock Chevrolet Performance 502/502 crate engine that’s backed by an M21 Muncie. The stock independent rear suspension is still in place with 4.11 gears. So far in over two seasons of occasional bracket racing I haven’t had any trouble other than bad wheel hop if I don’t slip the clutch just a little off the line. My best e.t. is an 11.52 at 116.

I know lots of folks say the Corvette IRS isn’t ideal for drag racing and I’m getting anxious to add enough power to break into the tens. What am I up against with the rear suspension and differential?

Steve Magnante: Hey Joe, though I’m tempted to toss in a lame Jimmy Hendrix pun asking where you’re goin’ with that gun in your hand, I’ll refrain….this time. The fact you thrash a stick shifted Corvette – and a big block no less – is cool in these days of over restored show poodles. You don’t say whether your Stingray is a factory-built big block or a small blocker with a heart transplant.

Though pre-’72 Corvettes (and all other Chevrolet passenger cars) lacked an engine-specific identification code in the VIN, GM added it for 1972. In fact, all GM passenger vehicles got an engine code (finally!) in 1972, bringing cheer to Buick, Oldsmobile and Pontiac muscle car hunters as well. Scope out the fifth spot, if you see the letter W, your Stingray was originally built with the 270 horsepower LS5 454 rat motor, one of 3,913 big blocks from the total run of 27,004 Corvettes built in 1972.

Other possible codes are K, for the base 200 horse 350 and L for the rare solid lifter LT1 350 with 255 (net) horsepower. Right here lets’ stop and consider the frustrating fact that Chevrolet kinda dropped the ball on Corvette differentials in the big block era. While SS396 Chevelles, 427 Impalas, L79 Chevy II’s and other bowtie factory muscle cars were fitted with the big 12 bolt rear end with its larger guts, stronger Posi unit, 8.8 inch ring gear and thicker axle shafts, when the 396 and 427 big blocks arrived in 1965 and ’66 (respectively), they used the basic 10 bolt differential and guts fitted to small block Vettes – and low-po Chevelles. At 8.2 inches, the 10 bolt’s ring gear isn’t huge and isn’t all that durable under extreme conditions.

Though Chevrolet made token efforts to bolster the Corvette’s 10 bolt in big block applications (forged steel U-joint caps, larger diameter half shafts, etc.) none of it was comparable to the 12 bolt upgrade given to less costly performance cars. Folks have scratched their heads over this fact ever since. Oh, another head scratcher for newbies is the 1963 – 81’ Corvette’s inspection cover. It only has eight bolts. But rest assured, there’s a 10 bolt differential inside (as in: the number of bolts securing the ring gear to the diff. carrier). And remember too, the bolt-on inspection cover also serves as the center anchor point for the transverse leaf spring. A simple, thin stamped tin cover it is not.

As it so often does, the hot rod aftermarket rose to the occasion, especially after a January 1974 edict from the NHRA allowing Stock and Super Stock Corvette racers to make internal modifications to the stock differential housing. The outside had to remain stock appearing and the jumpy IRS had to remain, but it was a step in the right direction.

The NHRA easement opened the door to a neat trick that involved swapping 12 bolt gears into the Corvette case. But it wasn’t easy. The inner surfaces of the case had to be deeply ground away to make room for the physically larger ring gear diameter. But that wasn’t enough. The ring gear itself had to be machined to reduce its outside diameter to 8.675 inches to clear the hogged out case. The trick also helped street enthusiasts and lots of machine shops performed this work.

But it didn’t eliminate the tendency of the half-shafts to blast off and a look under any 1965-’74 big block Stingray with competition history will reveal deep scars and repair patches near the burst trajectory of these items. By the 1990’s, the NHRA rulebook went a step further and allowed the complete elimination of the IRS setup altogether for added safety. But as always with stuff like this, there was a catch. Though the re-think allowed racers to scrap the troublesome outboard half shafts, the Corvette’s novel transverse leaf spring had to remain. Wally’s men said “no can do” to racer requests seeking permission to mount the one-piece live axle assembly via more conventional coil springs or parallel leafs. Well, at least requests to scrap the hefty rear disc brakes for drums were approved.

This opened the door to use of traditional 12 bolt, Dana 60 and Ford 9-inch rear axles, drum-to-drum. And this might be where your future lies. If it was my decision, I’d remove your stock IRS and replace it with a suitably narrowed live axle of the 12 bolt variety. Competition Engineering and others make live axle C3 Corvette conversion kits that employ beefy fabricated adapters that attach to the outboard end of each axle tube. When mounted, the forward ends accept the stock shock absorbers and the rearward ends grab ahold of the outer ends of the transverse leaf spring. A Panhard link above the axle resists lateral movement.

In all, it’s a slick, lightweight solution that adds strength and serviceability to any drag-oriented C3 Stingray. This problem-solver also spotlights how far the aftermarket has come since the sixties. Back then, even GM balked at the cost of creating a special extra heavy duty differential for big block Corvettes. If they didn’t, I wouldn’t be writing these words. But in today’s ponycar marketplace where IRS is a fact of life under every new Mustang, Camaro and Challenger, numerous aftermarket driveline suppliers have taken the financial plunge with re-imagined Dana 60, Ford 9-inch and GM 12 bolt center sections to replace the factory weak links in an afternoon. We’ve never had it so good!

This 1970 Stingray is an active NHRA H/SA contender. The Competition Engineering live axle adapter kit solves breakage problems and prevents the C3’s notorious acceleration squat for full tire contact. Dig the lightweight aluminum G-body drum brakes that shave nearly 30 pounds of dead weight over the stock Delco Moraine discs. Slicks are Hoosier 30.0/9.0R-15.

MORE INFO Competition Engineering (203) 453-6571 competitionengineering.com

MAKING HINDSIGHT 20/20

Steve Magnante: This nugget is a little unconventional in that nobody wrote in to CarCraft to request it. Rather, I spotted this trick aboard Greg Davies 9 second BFNY Performance Dodge Magnum Hemi Wagon and knew it needed to be shared as widely as possible. As any bracket racer knows, races are often won or lost at the finish line. Tired of bending his neck for a 140-plus mph look-see at where his opponent was, Davies rigged a pair of RV / Camper back-up cameras instead.

Now, all he has to do is glance quickly at the appropriate LCD monitor to learn how close the opponent is and whether it’s time to tap the binders…or keep his right foot buried. Davies says: The right hand camera/monitor is used when I’m in the left lane and visa-versa for the left hand camera/monitor”. And since the naturally aspirated 468 cube Gen III Hemi is covering more than 20 feet per second by the 1000 foot mark, taking eyes off the track is something to be avoided, let alone trying to catch a glimpse of the opponent through the narrow slit of a full-face helmet. Here’s to Greg Davies’ ingenuity!

Mounted to the A-pillar, the wide angle camera (left) delivers a crisp, high resolution image that’s quickly visible without driver’s head movement.

Hemi Wagon driver Greg Davies shows off the passenger side setup. Davies’ Magnum weighs well under 2,800 pounds thanks to his relentless crusade to “add lightness”. The digital rear view system is several pounds lighter than the stock power mirrors and its’ more aerodynamic to boot.

ANCHORS AWAY?

Scott McKendry via email: Hi, great magazine! I have a couple of questions about a BBC block I bought on eBay before I send it out for rebuilding. First, I don’t want to spend more money on it if the cylinders are too thin. Looks like they are in great shape and have never been bored but when I took the freeze plugs out, after I had it hot tanked, the coolant passages were packed with rust. I cleaned them out as best I could and got a pile of rust on the garage floor. But there were still some pretty thick rusty chunks of metal I was still able to scrape off the coolant side of the cylinders, maybe 0.030 inch thick. I was told this engine was in a power boat. Should I be concerned about the cylinder wall thickness? Should I have it sonic tested? I’m planning on rebuilding it to basic LS6 specs, naturally aspirated but with less compression, like 10.5:1. I’m also considering a stroker kit. I don’t want to bore it any more than needed. My second question is about the numbers I see on the block. There’s a raised 3963512 at the rear of the block and the stamped code on the passenger side deck reads TO9142DQK. What have I got here and is there any way to preserve the deck stamping during the machine shop phase?

Steve Magnante: You bring up a significant point on the risks associated with boat / marine engines. As you’ve witnessed, the piston side of the bores can be in excellent condition but if corrosion from the inside out is present, metal loss can be so severe as to render a good unit scrap. It stems from the fact most marine engines use the lake / ocean as the radiator. Instead of a closed system with a radiator and dedicated coolant as in a road going vehicle, openings in the hull access cool water and direct it into the engine where it carries heat away. Once its’ passed through the engine, it’s released back into the body of water to be replaced by another fresh load of liquid in a continuous cycle.

On paper, this seems great since boaters can do away with the weight and complexity of a self-contained cooling system. But in practice, trouble arises from the fact naturally sourced water has no rust inhibitors and is jam packed with minerals. These help to set up electrical charges between dis-similar metals that slowly carry molecules away and can eventually cause holes. Worse yet is an ocean-going boat that uses salt water for coolant. We all know what sodium (salt) does to steel car bodies in the winter time. Yep, the same threat happens inside an engine block where even the thickest iron castings can be reduced to a useless boat anchor over time.

Your instincts are correct. Don’t trust the healthy surface appearance. Have every bore sonic tested from top to bottom, all the way around. Isolated thin patches caused by the peculiar nature of oxidation can create coin-sized hot spots on the “ugly side” of the shiny cylinder bores. These can degrade oil performance and reduce piston ring and skirt life. Overheating is also a possibility. There’s also the strength factor. If enough material is lost, your cylinder walls won’t be of consistent thickness. This could lead to poor ring seal in those spots and resulting blow by.

But remember, anything can be repaired and it’s a simple matter to install sleeves in afflicted bores. When installed by a solid shop with know-how and the right equipment, don’t be afraid and know that a V8 block with eight sleeves can be stronger than a pristine factory casting. The only wild card is price. If those eight sleeves end up costing more than a good replacement block, where’s the economy in that? Extreme sleeving like that is most fruitful in cost-no-object situations like saving the original block to a 1965 Chevelle Z16, Corvette L88 or a similar rarity.

As for the markings seen on your block, the raised characters at the back is the factory casting number (3963512) which identifies it as a 1969 – 1971 427 and 454 unit. This block is very beefy and can take a 0.125 inch overbore (assuming the inner faces aren’t corroded as discussed above). These blocks contain enough material to accept 2 bolt or 4 bolt main caps and both types are possible with this casting. The more important number is the stamping on the passenger side of the deck. Called the “suffix code” this one further identifies the block’s vehicular origin and is the one that’s all-too-often removed accidentally during deck work.

Yours is stamped with TO9142DQK and the characters restorers and collectors focus on are the final two, which is QK in your case. The first two (TO) identify the assembly plant as being GM’s Tonawanda, NY facility. The birthplace of all big blocks during the muscle era, GM shipped completed engines to its various vehicle assembly plants for final installation.

I did a fairly thorough Internet search for your suffix code and came up empty handed. Searching for DQK and QK delivered no matches for known Chevrolet vehicles. This supports the possibility yours was supplied new to a marine supplier for use on the water. Lacking more time on this end, you might want to explore the world of Industrial and Marine engine customers (think Mercury Marine, Gray Marine, etc.) which may have used a specific suffix code for identification.

As for preserving the stamped suffix code, it’s a simple matter of asking the machinist to baby sit the process and stop the cutter when it approaches the sacred digits. And I do mean sacred. For example, a 1969 Camaro Z/28 with its original DZ suffix code 302 block can be nearly twice as valuable as the same car with a non-matching block. I’ve also witnessed tragic situations where original, numbers-matching engine blocks were transformed into anonymous blobs by distracted or unconcerned machinists. It only takes a few extra minutes to baby sit the cutter.

Can anyone identify this stamped big block Chevy suffix code? It seems to read TO9142DQK though paint stripper might reveal otherwise…

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kevinmoyer · 7 years ago

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Romantic Vintage Inspired Wedding in Texas :: Lexie & Sam

Photography by Alixann Loosle Photography

Since Sam and Lexie first bonded over their mutual love of the Lone Star State while working in Washington, D.C., it only made sense for this sweet couple to celebrate the start of their marriage with an elegant affair in Dallas, Texas. From glowing tea lights to gorgeous, flowy, long-sleeved bridesmaid gowns, their day was filled with the most romantic, ethereal details. And in a true show of selflessness, Lexie has some amazing tips for making your wedding just as much about your guests as it is about you as a couple. Be sure to read all the way through for Sam and Lexie’s hilarious proposal story—it’s proof that a fabulous engagement can still start off with the words, “Yeah. Ok…”!

The Ceremony

Why did you choose this location for your ceremony? We chose to get married in the Dallas Texas LDS Temple because of our faith. As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we believe that marriages performed in temples are sacred and bind a husband and wife for eternity. Throughout our lives, we dreamed of going one day to a temple with the one we love to make promises with God and each other. We specifically chose the Dallas Temple because Sam’s uncle could officiate the wedding. It made our day even more special to have the ceremony performed by a beloved family member. To top it off, we two native Texans couldn’t imagine a better place than the Lone Star State to tie the knot.

Your ceremony in three words. Sweet, simple, sacred How did you go about planning your ceremony? The LDS temple marriage follows a standard pattern. Our ceremony began with words from the officiator, Sam’s uncle. We then made simple vows to one another and to God, and ended things by kissing one another, exchanging rings, and hugging all those present.

Though Lexie and Sam went for a classic and timeless look, they included elements that brought a bit of whimsical, vintage-inspired flair to everything. Lexie completed her bridal look with a beautiful jeweled crown, and her bridesmaids wore romantic long-sleeved gowns in a dusty shade of blue. Don’t they look so dreamy, all together?

The Reception

How would you describe your reception? We loved all of the details of the wedding! We really wanted our wedding to be natural, classic, and a real party for all of our guests.

Why did you choose this location for your reception? Union Station: The venue provided an incredible backdrop for our event. After walking into Union Station for the first time, we thought, “we could do absolutely nothing to this space, and it still would be a beautiful wedding reception.” It’s tall arched ceilings, historical charm, and grand windows with views of downtown completely won us over. Though Union Station is unbelievable, it’s design is simple enough to complement any wedding style. We also loved the fact that the whole space was ours for the night. There was plenty of room for our 300+ guests to move around and enjoy the night. We used the smaller front room for a mock-tail hour, and side rooms for the food stations and a children’s room. It made our reception feel so special, because we weren’t running into other weddings or feeling cramped.

What inspired you when you were planning your wedding? We wanted our wedding to reflect our personal style. We wanted things to be classic, with whimsical twists. We wanted everyone to feel comfortable and for things to feel natural and effortless.

What was the best advice you received as a bride? The best advice I received was to relax and enjoy the day!

What advice do you have for other couples in the midst of planning a wedding? The biggest advice I have for brides-to-be is to let go and enjoy your day! To make this possible, think through as many details as possible before the day of. Luckily, I had a superstar of a mom and a seasoned wedding planner who thought through everything well in advance. Because those details were taken care of, I was really able to enjoy every minute of the wedding we had taken months and months to plan. Along with that, make sure to take in all of the wonderful details of your wedding. Spare a moment to really look at the florals, table settings, and design elements. Eat the food and drink the drinks. It was really special for me to experience every detail we had worked so hard to plan. Another piece of advice I would give, is to really think about the guests attending your wedding. It’s easy to get caught up in florals and china patterns, but if you want you wedding to be memorable—make it fun! We provided a well-stocked children’s room with baby-sitters, to allow parents to enjoy the evening. We made Texas-themed gift bags for all of our out-of-town guests and took the bridal party to a Rangers game a few days before the wedding (since all of my bridesmaids flew in from Utah just for the wedding and had never been to Texas before). By taking care of the details beforehand and by thinking about our guests during the planning process, we were able to really enjoy the whole wedding experience with all of the people we love!

Says bride Lexie, “While we did have a large cake (that was nearly entirely fake!), we also put smaller one-layer cakes on each of the tables that guests could eat from. Since we anticipated left over cake, we also provided cake boxes for guests to take home extra cake.”

To add a little playful flair, Lexie and Sam hired caricature artists who drew darling portraits for all their guests. Says Lexie, ” we learned later that the kids and families absolutely loved it. One little cousin got herself four different caricatures!”

What was your favorite moment or part of the reception? It’s hard to narrow it down to just one. We loved all of the personal moments–when Sam’s brother sang for us, Sam’s groomsmen dance, and our private last dance together once everyone left the reception space for the send off. We also loved dancing the night away with all of our friends and family!

What was your first dance song? Our first dance song was Annie’s Song by John Denver. I danced with my dad to Landslide by Fleetwood Mac, and Sam danced with his mom to Isn’t She Lovely by Stevie Wonder. Something both Sam and I cared about was the music. We both LOVE to dance and really wanted our wedding to be a party to remember. However, I had been to weddings where there was a stark contrast between the classy service and the dirty booty-popping music played at the reception. To avoid this mood switch, we chose to play all retro music throughout the reception. While we dated, Sam and I bonded over our love the 60s, 70s, and 80s music our parents played on our family road trips. We felt like the retro music would get people dancing, without making our grandparents feel uncomfortable. The music did not disappoint. Once the dancing began, it became quite the party. We even had my 85-year-old grandma can-can kicking on the dance floor! We got tons of compliments from both old and young guests. Some people even wanted the link to our playlist! Working with Jim was a breeze. His online system allowed us to easily handpick all of the songs we wanted and create the dance party of our dreams.

Is there anything else that helps tell the story of your wedding? This is the story Sam wrote that we had in a basket next to the sign-in book at the wedding.

It all began when Sam noticed Lexie in a political science class, he introduced himself, and she promptly forgot about him. A few months later in April 2016, both moved out to Washington, D.C. as interns in the BYU Washington Seminar program. They became friends over their mutual love for the great state of Texas. They remained so for a few months until Sam carefully devised a plan to exit the “friend zone”. While playing ping pong one night, Sam bet Lexie that the loser of the game would pay for the other’s dinner one night in town. Sam conveniently lost and took Lexie out for her favorite meal, chicken strips.

After what he calls their first date (the details are contested), Sam hatched a plan to take advantage of their unique situation before she returned to Provo and other suitors. They played tennis, went to the National Zoo, attended an Orioles-Rangers game, and ate more chicken strips than either cares to admit. On Lexie’s last night in D.C., he took her to ride bikes around the National Mall. As the sun set over the Tidal Basin, he asked her which of the memorials was her favorite. “The Jefferson,” she replied, and off they rode to the Jefferson Memorial. In sight of the White House and the Washington Monument, they kissed for the first time.

Nearly a month later, they met up in Provo. They learned more about each other as he watched chick-flicks and she attended basketball games. Some of the most memorable experiences included several of Luke’s concerts, trips up to the Elmer’s cabin and the Prier’s house, watching Lost, and helping each other (competing) in an African Geography and a Middle Eastern Politics class at BYU. He quickly learned that she was much more than just a pretty face, and she learned just the opposite (see Sam’s biceps).

Sam got the OK to propose to Lexie while at Macaroni Grill in late January. Lexie gave Sam a few guidelines for the proposal which he tried to follow to little avail. The primary requirement was that the proposal be a surprise, because Lexie gets anxious when she knows a big moment or decision is coming. All was going smoothly until she sniffed out the proposal plan before picking him up to “go snowshoeing.” Tears were shed (hers), the surprise was ruined, and he had to improvise. The snowshoeing plans scrapped, they zoomed up Provo canyon to the Prier’s house in Heber City, followed the trail of rose petals to the balcony, where the box sat with the ring inside. After taking out a few mementos and slips of paper with “things I love about you” written on them, Sam asked Lexie to marry him. He took “Yeah. OK.” as good enough, and they began planning their wedding!

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