#i was planning on waiting to post this until i had enough for meme dump but the originals quality was SO BAD and ik if i put it all together

[spaceysp]

[fixaidea]

tagged by @spinecorset to do a “twenty questions for fic writers” tag meme (thank you :D)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

90, a couple of which are drabble-dumps.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

159,720 (...yeah. This across 90 works. I strongly prefer short-form.)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right at the moment I'm fully consumed by DMBJ, but the bulk of my fic are Les Misérables, MDZS and TGCF with a number of other fandoms occasionally thrown in. Oh yeah, and some Maurice.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Audition (818) The Quest (711) Vision (656) Of Hats and Flutes (638) Of parents and children (569) Probably unsurprising how all of these are MXTX fics (one being a crossover with Discworld.)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yeah, pretty much always. I love getting comments and I want to show my appreciation.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

All of my fics I deemed a decent enough size to post on their own (so like, 500 words or longer) have at least a somewhat hopeful ending, but I get *cruel* in prompt-fills and mini-fic. ...Oh wait, no! May 31st 1832 - unsurprisingly a Les Mis fic. I had two characters clash and left their impending deaths hang over their heads, implying that the conflict will remain unresolved until the very last moment, when they die together.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully no, at least not so far. Hope it stays that way.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have tried it exactly once and I don't think it's gonna be a regular occurance. It was a TGCF fic where Xie Lian and Hua Cheng experiment with some magic with a sliiight hint of sub! Hua Cheng.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Oh do I ever! The absolute weirdest in terms of the sheer incompatibility of canons is a LotR/Asterix one. It was a fill for a prompt to write something my 10 year old self would enjoy.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah! :D (The first chapter of Of Hats and Flutes, Vision and Soup for Pangzi.)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope, not yet.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

That's a hard question, but statistically speaking (meaning the one I wrote the most for) it's Hua Cheng/Xie Lian from TGCF.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I started a prequel to The Dancer - a TGCF fic in which Xie Lian and Hua Cheng get together pre-canon. This would have been how they met.

16. What are your writing strengths?

The thing I get the most compliments on is character and author voice - I'm apparently pretty good at pastiche. :D

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Plot. I like to focus on character interaction, and short oneshots, planning out long, plot-heavy fics just don't come naturally to me.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If it's grammatically correct, then why not? It has its uses.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Probably Zona. It's a three-way crossover between MDZS, Star Wars and Stalker. I still think the concept is fun and I'm proud of it because it's one of the very few plot-heavy, longform fics I actually managed to finish.

tagging… @the-marron @kcrabb88 @eirenical

[elthadriel]

writer ask meme: 13 + 29?

Hey!

13. How much planning do you do before writing?

It really depends on the length of the fic but I always do some. For shorter fics it's often bullet points of the beats I want to hit and the longer the fic the more in depth those will get. With very long stuff, <20k, the planning process is a whole thing. I make tables and charts breaking down thematic plot lines and how they relate to each other vs the driving plot.

I don't have a good one to share just now, but once I finish my big bang I might share the outline for it.

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

Have the opening 800 words from the Fox/Thorn fic that I started almost two years ago and just never seem to have the time to crawl back to.

-----

Thorn comm’d Fox about two minutes form his office, which was enough time for Fox to send a reply that Thorn would ignore, Fox to realise he was being ignored, send a second, ruder message that Thorn would also ignore, and finally resign himself to his fate.

The office wasn’t locked when Thorn arrived, and he let himself in.

“I brought you a present,” he announced, placing the bottle down on Fox’s desk, finding space between a stack of filmsi, two data pads, and five empty cups of caf. At least some of the caf looked like it had been sitting for a while and Fox hadn’t downed it all in the last couple of hours.

How much did Fox need to piss?

“You know, when a senior officer comms you, you are expected to read and obey them,” Fox drawled, somehow eyeing the bottle up suspiciously even through his helmet.

“Would you believe me if I said I didn’t understand the message?” Thorn sat in the seat across from Fox, wondering if Fox would be genuinely annoyed if he put his boots up on Fox’s desk or just pretend to be.

“You’re right, this is my fault. I forget you were trained by Alpha-31. I’ll use smaller words next time. Is asshole still too long for you?” Fox hadn't put his work down, but he had lent back in his chair and Thorn could hear the smile in his voice even if it was hidden by his helmet.

“I don’t know, Sir, maybe if you attach a picture?”

Fox snorted and Thorn beamed. Success.

“Seriously though, the drink, Fox. I had to pull rank on a whole squad of troopers to get it for you.” All he’s actually said was that Fox might like the last remaining bottle and all competitors had abruptly lost interest; they were a good bunch.

“What is it?” Fox asked, still not reaching for it.

“Not a clue, some fruit based soda. It's very popular on [planet]. The senator’s nephew gave us a crate.”

“Uh huh.”

Thorn sighed, plenty loudly enough for Fox to hear.

Fox glanced back down at his datapad and there was no way Thorn was letting that fly. He popped the seal on his helmet and pulled it off, dumping it onto the ground by. Checking Fox had looked up again he pulled the tie from his hair letting it fall around his shoulders. It probably looked awful, it had been tied up all day and was still half holding that shape.

Fox didn’t move, except a slight lift of his head and Thorn wished he’d waited until Fox had removed his own helmet.

His hair was very much not regulation and if any other CG officer tried it Fox would hold them down to shave it off himself if he had too. Thorn worked his hands through the loose curls, trying to pull his hair back into a half decent shape.

“It’s against the regs for a member of the Guard to remove his helmet while on duty—“

“Not on duty,” Thorn pointed out.

“—Or otherwise representing the Guard including but not limited to wearing other pieces of his armour or in areas under CG jurisdiction.”

Thorn rolled his eyes, a big obvious motion. Fox never mentioned his hair length though.

“Report me if you want, I know the man in charge and he’s a little bitch,” Thorn said and, stars, he could picture exactly how Fox would be smirking at the challenge.

“Need me to come over there and spank you, Commander?”

Thorn’s mouth went a little dry. He wasn’t even into that shit.

“Big talk for a man too scared to drink a soda he hasn’t heard of,” Thorn said and decided Fox would probably only pretend to be annoyed and placed one boot and then the other up onto Fox’s desk.

Fox lent back in his chair, tossing his datapad onto his desk. Thorn tallied that up as his second win.

“Thorn, the last food you brought me gave the worst shits of my life, the time before that was, according to Prayers, literally poisonous,” Fox pointed out.

“I had both just fine,” Thorn said, “It’s not my fault your delicate constitution can’t handle anything with more flavour than a purple ration bar.”

“You know that excuse won’t hold up when your dragged in front of a tribunal for murdering a superior.”

“There’s just so few chances to advance my career, sir.”

Fox snorted and rolled his shoulders in a way that suggested he’d been sitting still for far too long.

“How was I supposed to know it would make you sick? They told me it was a delicacy.” Thorn had certainly enjoyed it.

“To [aliens], sure. To humans it’s a chance to explain to your medic that trusting you doesn’t require brain damage and regular stupidity will do the job just fine.”

[blanc-et-n0ir]

Pranks (Solomon and MC)

“Lucifer let out a sigh as he went to enter his room, it’s time for him to start on his paperwork. When he opened the door and walked in, his face met a clear film of plastic and he flinched in shock. He scowled and ripped the clear film off the door frame, he’s going to ignore that for now.

“I don’t have the energy to think about this.” Lucifer growled.

Then, he walked to his desk. His foot bumped against his couch and he frowned. Something about his room felt odd. He shook his head and sat down, almost missing the chair by an inch. He growled and picked his quill to start on the paperwork.

That was when his eyes met the words on the paper and he almost screamed. They were adoption papers for Satan. His eye twitched as he crumpled the paper and threw it aside, he’ll deal with that later. He picked up another piece of paper which immediately was crumpled and thrown aside. He shuffled through his many papers and found every single one of them of the same content, with a few papers about his and Diavolo’s divorce and some works of fiction about him and Diavolo. 

“Who-”

He let his hand drag down his face, there could only be one culprit. Satan. The blonde merely wished for Lucifer to suffer on that day. He walked out the room, once again almost tripping over his couch.

//===\\

Mammon trudged up to his room, his eyes exhausted during the day at RAD. All he wanted to do was curl in his room, scrolling through Devilgram and not think about anything. He opened the door to his room and was met with a clear barrier. He let out a confused whine and walked backwards. He glared at the clear film and ran into his room. He tumbled inside, the clear film wrapping around him as he lay on the floor groaning.

“What in the hell was that?”

He stood up, rubbing his forehead as he threw the clear plastic to the side. He let out a loud whine as he pulled himself on his bed, almost missing it by a few centimetres. He cursed and fished for his phone in his pocket. He noticed that MC had posted a photo and got giddy. He wasn’t able to see the human the whole day which was weird but he pushed that aside for now.

“Wonder what MC posted...” He muttered as he pulled up the photo.

His brain practically bluescreened as he stared at the photo. It was MC alright. She had bed hair and was smiling lucidly at the camera. But in the background, Solomon also had the same bed hair and he was shirtless. He was shirtless and on the same bed as MC. SoloMON WAS SHIRTLESS AND ON THE SAME BED AS MC.

“WHAAATTT!” He screeched, standing up in lightning speed. He threw open his door and almsot bumped into Lucifer on the way, “MC, WHAT HAVE YA BEEN DOING WITH SOLOMON?”

//===\\

Levi was giddy as he almost tripped over himself trying to get into his room. The school day was finally over and he can watch that new DVD he got from Akuzon. He threw open the door and burst through the clear plastic. He paused and tried to get it off him.

“What the- what’s this!?” He shook his head and successfully untangled himself from the plastic and turned his attention to the new DVD. 

He got the case and pulled the CD out. He inserted it into his DVD player and turned on his television. He grinned, giddy as he waited for the screen to fully turn on. It was a new anime that had just come out and everyone was giving it good reviews so he wanted to try it out. Then, he caught sight of what the screen displayed instead.

“Wha-wha-whAT IS THIS?? THIS ISN’T MY ‘NEXT LIFE AS A VILLAINESS: ALL ROUTES LEAD TO DOOM’.” He paused before his eyes flashed, “MAMMOONNN! DID YOU STEAL MY NEW DVD!”

He ran out his door, eyes darkening in anger. he was already in his demon form when he caught sight of Mammon walking down the stairs. He growled ad chased after him, ignoring the loud screech from Asmo’s room. He almost got barelled into by Satan but he dodged. He’ll get that money grubbing, object stealing scum brother of his.

HOW DARE HE THINK OF SWITCHING HIS NEWWEST ANIME WITH SOMETHING AS WESTERN AND NORMIE AS TWILIGHT? NOT EVEN THE HUMANS LIKED THAT STUPID MOVIE.

//===\\

Satan let out a sigh as he rubbed his forehead, he can’t wait to curl up in his room and read a good book. He trudged up to his room, ignoring Mammon’s surprised shout from down the hall and opened his door. He walked in and was stopped by white clear plastic, almost falling over. His eye twitched and he swiped the plastics out of his way, stomping into his room.

“Who would put that there...”

He shook his head and picked up a book. He let himself fall against his armchair and opened the book. He cleared his head a bit before he read the first sentence. Everything was normal until he reached the middle paragraph. His eye twitched as it mentioned Lucifer and Diavolo. He closed the book and looked at the cover.

“It... doesn’t match.” He narrowed his eyes. “I could’ve sworn...”

He picked up another book and when he opened it, it showed memes. His eye twitched and he threw the book away from him. He picked another one up, opening it. This time it had a picture of Mammon singing in the shower. He slammed the book closed and growled. His temper was getting worse and he transformed into his demon form. The last book he opened had showed a crude drawing of his as a baby with Lucifer carrying him.

He screamed and threw the book away, ignoring the crash of the window it sailed out, “WHO TOUCHED MY BOOKS?” 

He let out a low growled and slammed open his door, first it was the stupid plastic and now this. He didn’t want any of this. He wanted a good book, a little rest and maybe a good cup of tea. He stormed down the stairs, almost knocking into Levi.

It was definitely Mammon, the idiot.

//===\\

Asmo had made a beeline for his room. The whole day had taken a lot out of him and he felt icky. He had planned to take a long and relaxing bath in his tub and use one of his scented oils. He hummed as he walked to his room and opened the door. He was impaired when he hit a clear plastic that blocked his path into his room. He made a double take and squinted, noticing the clear plastic. He scoffed and easily took it down, taking away all the excess plastic from the door frame to avoid any trash to clutter his beautiful room. He passed a trash can and dumped all the plastic inside.

He slowly stripped, enjoying the cool air and made his way to his bathroom. He smiled widely as his bathtub entered his field of vision. He picked a good scented oil to have and placed a few drips on the pristine clear water.

He slowly let himself sink into the water before he felt an unfamiliar texture. His eye twitched and he opened them to see the supposedly clear water had turned to yellow mush. He screeched and tripped on his way out the bathtub. He couldn’t believe what he had stumbled into. The yellow mush, clearly melted cheese, felt awful on his smooth skin.

“WHO FILLED MY BATHTUB WITH CHEESE?!”

He had unknowingly turned into his demon form as he stomped out of his bedroom, body still covered in cheese. He stomped past Lucifer who was checking inside Satan’s room and headed down, he will find out who messed with his bathtub.

“I S A I D, WHO FILLED MY BATHTUB WITH MELTED CHEESE?” He screeched into the halls, his voice carrying throughout the house.

//===\\

The moment he had stepped foot inside the house, he made his way to the kitchen. He was starving and Lucifer didn’t allow him to stop by Hell’s Kitchen for a snack. He opened the fridge and noticed a large sandwich. He licked his lips and noticed that no one had placed a note claiming it as their own. He smiled and picked it up before shoving it straight into his mouth. He choked when he was met with a dry flavor in his mouth.

He spat out the remnants of the sandwich and noticed it was foam, “Who?”

He shook his head and scoured the fridge for more unclaimed food. So far, everything he shoved into his mouth was foam. The tangy and dry taste of it making his stomach turn and ask for actual edible food. He had eaten the apple, the salad, the banana... even the turkey leg was foam. His eye twitched and he moved onto the Devildom delicacies, thinking that maybe it was all the human food. 

He picked up a custard and bit into it. It was foam. This was probably the fifth food he had shoved into his mouth that wasn’t food and his hunger had overtaken his thought process. He was in his demon form and he was hungry and angry. He had emptied the fridge by now and yet he hasn’t stumbled upon any real food.

“Who messED WITH THE FOOD?” Beel growled, stomping out the kitchen. Not only were the unclaimed food messed with, so were HIS food. Everything in the fridge was foam. Not even Mammon was stupid enough to do this.

He passed the common room where Belphie was looking in his phone with an enraged face. He would find whoever messed with his food.

//===\\

Belphie let out a sigh as he stepped foot inside the House of Lamentation. The whole day was really tiring. He felt his body sag and he dragged himself to the common room to sleep in peace. The moment his body hit the cushions of the couch, he fell into a deep slumber. Unbeknownst to him, two humans entered the common room with colored markers. The two giggled and exchange a quick glance with each other.

They set off to work, knowing Belphie was in a deep slumber and it’ll take more than a few little markings on his face to wake him up. Once they finished, they kept the markers and pulled out a roll of clear plastic. Solomon snickered as he taped the end of the plastic under the couch while MC pulled the roll over Belphie. They began methodologically wrapping him in plastic until his entire body was wrapped. He shifted a bit in his sleep and the two froze, exchanging a panicked look. 

When he remained sleeping, the two let out a relieved sigh. When the two heard the loud shout from Satan’s room, they immediately set to wrap up their work. Solomon got out some colorful hair ties and MC took out the large whoopee cushion. Solomon started to tie Belphie’s hair into uneven and weirdly placed pigtails while MC slid the cushion carefully in between the wrapped plastics.

That was when they heard Mammon’s shout and his footsteps. Solomon straightened and held out a hand to MC, “Would you care to make a grand exit?”

Asmo’s screech echoed throughout the whole house as MC smiled, “Of course!”

The loud bang that resounded in the common room due to their ‘grand’ exit woke Belphie up. He shot up, ready to scream at whoever made the loud noise to disturb his sleep when he heard the loud sound of the whoopee cushion hitting the plastic. His eye twitched as he was tangled up in a mess of plastic. He swiped them all away.

“Who in the seven hells would do this?” He growled. 

That was when he felt his hair and he got out his D.D.D and turned on the front camera. His anger grew when he saw his face and he stood up, shouting, “WHO DID THIS TO MY FACE!” 

He made his way to the entrance hall in his demon form, ready to kill whoever thought doing this to him was funny. 

//===\\

“SATAN IF YOU THOUGHT EXCHANGING MY PAPERWORK WITH NONESENSE IS FUNNY, THEN YOU’RE WRONG-”

“WHERE THE HELL IS MC? ARE THEY WITH SOLOMON-”

“MAMMON!! FIRST IT WAS MY MONEY AND NOW IT’S MY DVD!!” 

“WHOEVER THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY TO REPLACE MY BOOKS, I WILL USE YOUR-”

“I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR BOOKS, SATAN. LOOK AT ME, I’M COVERED IN STUPID MELTED CHEESE WHEN I’M SUPPOSED TO BE RELAXING IN MY BATH.”

“SOMEONE TOUCHED MY FOOD. WHO IS IT? WAS IT YOU, MAMMON?”

“WHO DID THIS TO MY FACE? I WILL MAKE SURE YOUR DEATH IS-”

Just outside the House of Lamentation, Solomon and MC exchanged a look before bursting into laughter. The plan had gone smoothly, they didn’t care if they had to miss one whole day at RAD- this was hilarious enough to make up for it.

“Ten minutes from they’ll probably be at each others’ throats with warpaint on their faces.” Solomon wheezed.

“Good.” MC grinned. “It was getting a little chummy around here.” 

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 4/16/2021

Good news, I have finished my Wacky AU drabbles. If you missed any, they are archived as Chapters 33-41 of Squad Six is Jerks, my short fiction dumping ground, which you can read on ao3 or ff.net, as you please. I did archive one of them, Dear Wormwood, separately because it was especially close to my heart (ao3 | ff.net). Thank you to everyone who sent in requests! I probably should have accepted 6 instead of 10, but I did finish them all without too much trouble. My definition of what constitutes a drabble keeps getting progressively worse, with the X-Files AU coming in the worst offender at 5500 words.

This was probably a good exercise for me in the sense that it helped me realize that I’m really tired of the cycle of write/post/anxiously wait for feedback/repeat, and that I really need to get back into my older style of writing where I just worked on whatever I felt like and assumed it would eventually condense into something publishable. I did take a few little breaks amid the drabbles and I am extremely excited to report that I have written 1 and a half scenes of the Ginrei fic that’s been giving me heartburn for a year now.

I keep saying that I’m going to rewrite most of I have, because I’m not happy with it, and I have decided I am not gonna. Maybe it’ll just be bad. Maybe I’ll hate it. Maybe I’ll come around on it, we’ll have to see. I hated Call Me Back for most of the time I was working on it, and then it just sort of came together at the end and now I love it. In any case, there are a few things I need to happen in this fic so we can move onto the next one, so it’s just gonna happen, and you’re just going to have to deal with the tennis subplot.

My plan is to bop back and forth between that and a little love and...uh...whatever else I feel like. (Tattoo Artist AU? Maybe??) I’ll probably keep up my general method of posting chapters of a little in love every time I have 2 or 3 queued up, but I think I’m going to go back to my old method of sitting on my fic until it’s all the way done. I am going to try to do these updates ~once per week and let you know what I’ve been working on.

If you follow my art blog, you’ll know that I’ve been doing a guided study of how to draw people. It’s been going well, but honestly, I am getting really tired of it, although I still have a week’s worth of assignments left to go. I’ve gotten a couple of art requests lately that are related to character design, which is something that a) I am not good at and b) it’s not a thing that really interests me. It seems like most artists really enjoy coming up with OCs and I... don’t? It always seems like something people do mostly for themselves, and it holds no interest for me, so I’ve just never bothered, but on the hand, it seems like a good set of skills to have, so I’m gonna Go For It, we’ll see how it goes. Please keep in mind that I am not cool and I have no aesthetic. All my OCs are Terry Pratchett-style uncool weirdos, so keep your expectations low.

Did you see my Advance Team Art? I was very proud of it until one hour after I posted it and realized I forgot to draw Chad’s tattoo and enough people had already reblogged it that I couldn’t fix it. I am sorry, Chad. I promise I will do better next time. I also drew Chad for his birthday. I wasn’t really happy with how it came out, but then it got way more likes than I expected, so there’s no accounting for my taste.

Askbox is open for the moment because I’ve been doing a writing commentary meme that I’m really enjoying. I’ve done a few already, but this one is a lot of fun, so please feel free to send in stuff thru the weekend. Mostly, I’ve been getting bits from Call Me Back, but I would love it if someone sent in something from my weirder writing.

[bakugous-abs]

My Love {Kirishima Eijirou x Reader}

Just a little thing I decided to get out because a really cute post I saw. Legit my uwu’s… were owoing. It was so cute. It was about how this man only called his wife 'My Love' even around their kid to the point the child was even calling their mother 'My Love'. This will be really short or super long I have no idea lol (Super long with 1919 words). The reader is gender neutral! -Bomb

At first, it was a forced friendship

The cute shark toothed spikey red-haired boy getting in everyone's business in class 1-a, determination glowing from his crimson eyes to be friends with everyone he stumbles upon. He succeeded in befriending the fiery hedgehog, and it was only a matter of time before he got you too

    It wasn’t to say that you were actively avoiding befriending your classmates, it was just the fact that you didn’t see a point in it all. Sure, having friends seemed like a good idea; being able to go out and hang out with close mutuals. But when it really came down to it, was it gonna be worth it?

    In almost every instance I could recall from my middle school and elementary years, once you moved schools or grew out of your childish antics with destroying figurines and Barbie dolls with your mother's lipstick or caking yourselves with mud fights till dawn, people moved on from you. They found new friends with new hobbies, as so did I. But after it happens so many times, it begins to seem like that’s all friendship gives you. Temporary relations with each other until one or the other gets bored and finds new people to pester and befriend

    It left me hurt. Thinking that was all I was gonna be offered when I bonded with the strangers I only knew as classmates. But after seeing Kirishima and Mina, finding out that they had been friends since middle schools and then Deku and Bakugou since elementary school, things changed

    It was a silent change that I dwelled on internally for nearly weeks before I finally started agreeing to go with Kirishima instead of allowing him to drag me wherever he pleased. A silent change that I slowly grew accustomed to when his smile would prod my own lips to curl ever so slightly. A silent change that I hardly knew would change my life forever

    Then, it was friendship

It started off slow, only being asked to hang out in the dorms occasionally with a few of his friends. Then it was hanging out outside of school. Partnering up to do projects. Making vine and meme filled group chats. Pestering Bakugou. Teaming up for hero work. And before I knew what hit me, I had found a family of dipshit weirdos I could call my own

And then feelings got involved…

Kirishima and I began to hang out on our own. Helping each other with work that the other didn’t understanding. Helping each other through problems neither of us understood. We started looking out for each other even more than we did for the others, able to just automatically tell when something was off with the other

We watched movies together in his room, throwing popcorn at the screen from across the main dorm room floor, leaving small smudges of butter sticking to it we would be forced by Aizawa-Sensei to clean off later, sending each other sheepish smiles to cover up our embarrassment that would leave my cheeks dusted with a rosy pink hue

But then the rosy pink hue started showing up more often. Whenever he smiled, it would appear in the lightest shade possible, leaving my palms sweaty. Whenever I saw him shirtless during training, watching his muscles ripple and move as they glossed over in a layer of sweat, glistening in the daytime light and evening sunset, I couldn’t but stare and feel the rosiness of my cheeks and nose worsen to a dark crimson, my entire body heating up

I began to notice the little things about him I'm sure other people never noticed. Like the way his teeth only seemed to get sharper as the years in Yuuei went by. The way his hair slowly grew longer in the back and his black roots began to pop out before they disappeared again the next day with his hands stained a light red. The way he only got broader and tanner that would make my palms sweaty. And how his B.O. took on a different scent…

And then it hit me like dump truck full of bricks. The rosy cheeks. The heated body and sweaty palms. The increased interest in everything that changed about him

I liked Kirishima Eijirou

I fell for Kirishima Eijirou… hard and without notice

And I was too oblivious to know that he did the same

Until the night of our graduation

The kids of 3-A, 3-B, General Studies, and the Support Department partied in the 3-A dorm till we were exhausted and peeling our clothes off from sweat, having a blast as we sipped punch from our solo cups, not allowed to have alcohol on school property. We broke down and danced on the homemade dance floor to childhood songs and new songs we played on the whim that they might be good. We played party games like we were elementary kids again before we were shoved right into the adult world. It was a great night… Great for everyone else anyway

My mind had nothing on it other than Kirishima. How he slipped away between classmates, hanging out with everyone else as it seemed like he was actively avoiding me. And to be honest I couldn’t complain, it’d be hypocritical of me as I had been ignoring him and avoiding him for nearly a week now when I couldn’t help but crave him a bit too much for my liking

He probably didn’t feel the same, is what I told myself. I avoided him to protect myself from being hurt unintentionally by something neither of us could control. And then once we get out of here within the following week I could avoid him for the rest of my life

But he had other plans once the party came to an end

He finally caught up to me and asked me if I was ok. I only said yes as to avoid him from worrying, but he kept pestering, wondering why I was avoiding him. I couldn’t avoid having him worry about me because he already was, wondering if he had done something wrong that made me want to separate myself from him

Our proximity only worsened the situation, as my bottled feelings and attraction to the male swam back to the top of my subconscious, and I cried

    I cried my eyes out, holding my hand over my mouth as I tried to hold in my sobs. His arms immediately found their way around my body as I apologized profusely, feeling bad for just avoiding him like that at the drop of a hat. I rested my forehead on his shoulder, letting the tears slide down my face as he cooed in my ear that it's going to be ok

    It took me nearly a whole five minutes to calm down enough to be coherent in my speech and to organize my thoughts. I relished myself in his scent as I let go of myself, curling my arms around his waist

    “Now can you tell me what’s wrong? Why you're crying?... Why you’ve been avoiding me?” His voice almost seemed to crack towards the end, like he might start crying too

    I immediately panicked, unable to stop myself before I blurted three words that would either get me made fun of, laughed at, loved for, or ignored for

    “I like you”

    I was surprised to feel him begin to laugh. My heart sunk in my chest as I just tightened my grip, feeling my body wanting to shake with sobs once more before he asked if that was all it was. I hesitantly nodded, explaining to him my fears and doubts about how I thought he wouldn’t like me back, considering all his options throughout the rest of the upperclassmen and even some of the older lowerclassmen. He sighed as a response

    I panicked once more when I was being pulled apart from him before I was swiftly kissed on the lips, feeling their rough texture against my own soft ones. I was so surprised I didn’t even react. But it wasn’t like I was given any time to when they were pulled away from me

    I was confused, giddy, and felt a bit silly all at once as he explained to me how he liked me as well, and how we both probably should have seen the signs earlier since it now seemed pretty obvious we liked each other when we thought about it

    He took my hand in his, leading me back toward the kitchen. “Now come, my love, let's get you some cold water to splash over your face to reduce your puffy eyes”

    And from then on, we were lovers

    It wasn’t long after when we shared our first ‘I love you’s’ on our 6th date to a nice fairy lit picnic spot in the park. And then, just four years later, we were engaged and married within six months

    He’s called my ‘My Love’ since that very first night when we both confessed our feelings and became each other’s. And he still calls me it now, with an adopted year and a half old child happy smiling while playing on the floor with his pro-hero father and I made dinner

    “My love, how much longer till dinner’s ready?” Eijirou called out to me, our son stopping his playing and staring at us curiously, looking back and forth between us

    “Not long Eiji. We just gotta wait for the Enchiladas to cool down. Promise.” I took the Enchiladas out of the oven and set them on the stove, smiling as I felt his body press against my back while taking off my oven mit and closing the oven door

    “I love you, (s/o).” he put his hands over my stomach and kissed my cheek, eyes closed as he filled it with love

    “I love you too Eiji.”

    “Mah wuv…” We both heard a gurgle and stopped what we were doing on the spot, wide eyes and open-mouthed as we stared at our son. We looked to each other before looking back to him

    “My love?” Eiji repeated him, an eyebrow quirked as his grip loosened around my body

    “Mah wuv!” He giggled, grabbing the toys in his hands and waving them around while looking right at us

    “Oh-Oh my god. HIS FIRST WORDS!” I screeched out, chortling and hopping up and down and covering my mouth my hands

    “I-I thought babies first words were supposed to be mama or dada?! He called you my love!” Eijirou was both confused yet happy at the same time, scooping up our son in his hands and smiling broadly, he giggled in his father’s arms

    “He never even heard mama or dada in his life. He’s only heard you call me ‘My Love’ and I call you Eiji. He’s heard you say it so many times he must have wanted to try it out himself”

    “He did a pretty damn good job with it too! My love!” He shouted your nickname, the baby repeating it the best he could

    The sight made you smile, happy tears brimming your eyes as you pressed your hand lightly over your mouth watching the sight. Hearing two of your most loved people in the damn universe calling you ‘My Love’ filling your heart with an overwhelming euphoria

    I couldn’t believe this. I was gonna have two people running around just calling me My Love. And I couldn't wait

[thelifetimechannel]

The Dave and Dirk log, for obvious reasons, was something I wanted to try very hard to get right. That meant although we drafted it together via msparp, as was our custom, I ended up overhauling it way more than any of our other combo walkaround logs. A few chunks did survive the transfer, though.

In other news, we’ve made a solemn pact to finish TLC over winter break, which is good because I’m running out of bonus content. Hopefully we’ll have some assets to show off soon. I’ve already seen a few; they’re very nice.  

DIRK: Hey, dude. You did pretty well out there. DIRK: Didn't even die once. DAVE: twice in a day is my max im satisfied with keeping that record DAVE: even if getting machinegunned is rapidly becoming my "thing" DIRK: Seems we each have our respective "signature deaths". DIRK: Or at least it ain't a party until I get decapitated. That sure was something we needed to do again. DIRK: Just once, for old time's sake. DAVE: well that puts the nail in the meme coffin DAVE: any time you panic someones gonna tell you to keep your head on DAVE: like keeping your hair on except you know that shit aint going anywhere its probably shellaced DIRK: That shit is bolted to the floor. Did you know I walked around with a girly-ass pink tiara on my head this whole day and had no idea? DIRK: I had no idea. Couldn't feel a thing. DIRK: And people let me do that. DIRK: Can't fuckin' believe it. DAVE: oh DAVE: i figured you knew DIRK: I am less than pleased with my Skaia-ordained divine color scheme. DIRK: But I guess I have to live with it. It's part of the team aesthetic. DAVE: you could always change DIRK: Nah, with the tiara and tights ditched I have at least mitigated the enforced flamboyance. It's bearable. DIRK: I can't be the one dude out of uniform. Couldn't bear the shame. DAVE: my outfit is pretty sick ngl DAVE: sburb knows everyones secret desire is to have a cape DIRK: Unfortunately, mine isn't long enough to also make for a good tactical maneuver. DIRK: Not gonna lie, that was pretty funny. DAVE: if nothing else my attempts at combat can provide a source of humor in our lives DAVE: but honestly id be fine if my fighting days were over DAVE: i was never into it DAVE: rose on the other hand was obviously itching to beat people up DAVE: one of those 12 year olds who wants to get jumped in an alley to work out her suppressed anger DIRK: Maybe Skaia did make a few miscalculations in dumping your asses with your respective guardians. I think you'd get along well with Roxy and her cats, make her budget her time away from the alcohol. DIRK: ...in theory. DIRK: Rose can go a few rounds with me if she wants, we still need to sort out who has the rights to document our legendary journies. DAVE: ill plan your funeral DAVE: what kind of flowers do you want DIRK: ...there's different kinds? DAVE: damn thats right you grew up in waterworld DAVE: these choices matter DAVE: allegedly theres a thing called "flower language" DAVE: whether you can actually send someone a boquet telling them to meet you in the pit i dont know DIRK: Like, I get that, in theory, different kinds of flowers exist. But I fully anticipate any attempt on my part to conjugate in the language of said plants would end in my coffin declaring my hovercraft was indeed full of eels. DIRK: Maybe it'll have thorns on it. Or it'll be like the sixteen millions tons of green bullshit covering my land and making my nose itch. DAVE: probably DIRK: Worst case scenario, I'll pick out something orange and present to a prospective love interest and it'll mean something like "my brotherly passion for you knows no boundaries, and also no homo". DAVE: my bro wouldnt go for flower arranging DAVE: or pink tiaras DAVE: he was pretty uptight about the whole rah rah macho act DAVE: probably subscribed to alpha males weekly DAVE: which is weird considering DAVE: well DAVE: youre gay right DIRK: Uh. DIRK: Well. DIRK: My symbolic quest land is not covered in green bullshit, but I. DIRK: Happen to like watching birds, if you know what I mean. DIRK: Fuck, you probably don't know what that means. Jake and his goddamn thousand euphemisms. DAVE: cant say i do no DIRK: Nobody knows what it means but Jake. It's an old time epithet for being into dudes. DIRK: He knows all the old epithets, including some I suspect he made up. DAVE: so DAVE: thats a yes DAVE: in a roundabout way that includes birds DIRK: I've never denied it. DIRK: I'm just. DIRK: Not a huge fan of the word. Why, in this world post-society, do we need to confine ourselves to labels like "gay"? Such constraints were washed away from my world with the rest of the human race. DAVE: holy shit that was such a pretentious dodge DAVE: dont let rose hear you say that DIRK: Rose can hear all she likes. DAVE: but anyway DAVE: i wasnt asking to get up all in your business like SOME PEOPLE DAVE: who are so into getting into other peoples businesses theyre basically the fucking mafia or the irs DAVE: but DAVE: it explains some stuff DAVE: but on the other hand it doesnt DAVE: the way you raised me was kinda aggressively mainstream masculine enough that it wasnt something that ever seemed to come up as an option DAVE: [describe that type of culture and mindset better later, I KNOW what i mean but im tired rn lmao] DAVE: and anything outside of that id just brush off because it couldnt apply to me DAVE: and that went for pretty much everything that went against what you wanted for me DAVE: including that DIRK: And yet, here the man was, subconsciously shrieking his desire for floppy felt dong through, DIRK: What I guess you could call his art, for want of any other applicable word at all. God, the mental images are crawling up the insides of my skull like the Exorcist child, do I want to know? DAVE: probably not DAVE: guess trying to act peak male has its drawbacks DAVE: weirdly enough troll culture is obsessively hyperviolent but doesnt give a shit about sexuality DAVE: they dont see the difference most of the time i guess DAVE: and so like DAVE: maybe it rubs off on you because in some ways that kind of makes sense DAVE: but after so long its hard to know what i feel and what it means because i spent so long ignoring it DAVE: so i guess i was wondering DAVE: if you had anything that might help with that DAVE: or if youre also trapped in this whirling screaming maelstrom of bullshit DAVE: while kinsey sits in the eye of the storm laughing DIRK: Wait, wait, wait. DIRK: You're coming to me. DIRK: For advice. DIRK: Do you know what a laughable hurricane of disaster my interpersonal life has been? DIRK: Like, in a weird way, I'm kind of honored, especially since about five hours ago you were scared shitless to be around me, but. DIRK: I'm standing here and waving my credentials in the air just to display how I don't fucking have any. My degree is a sham and my hands are empty except for a crudely scribbled on piece of construction paper. DAVE: are you suggesting theres a gay university DAVE: where you study bird watching DIRK: Do I look like a man who's been to college? DAVE: fair DAVE: but like DAVE: your friends know DAVE: how did you broach the subject there DIRK: I might as well have been dating a Yoko Ono for the devastation it wreaked on our friend group, so yeah, it was a little hard to ignore. DIRK: Compounded by the fact some smartass from Gay University was using my social circle for romance geometry homework. DIRK: It wasn't even a love triangle so much as a love roundabout. DAVE: ok but thats just because you were a dipshit not a gay dipshit DAVE: they were chill about the first part right DIRK: Thanks. DIRK: I mean... Roxy always seemed disappointed. DAVE: luckily i dont think anyones waiting in line for me DAVE: i guess im blowing it out of proportion DAVE: i dont think anyone will MIND DAVE: no one did about rose and kanaya DAVE: didnt even question the vampire bit which goes to show what our lives are like these days DAVE: like ok our outfit has vampires now DAVE: thats a thing that we have DAVE: if i say oh hey i might be bisexual theyll just say sure pull up a chair at the acronym table DAVE: the only one who might be weird about it is john DAVE: but hed be just as weird if i told him id changed my favorite color hes just like that DAVE: the only person its really a big deal for is me DIRK: Jane was a little bit like that. I'm pretty sure the only reason she had to object was because she found out the day I made a move on her crush. DIRK: It might just be growing up in a household where you're not regularly fighting for your life, and thus what genders are kissing whom has the space to be higher on your priority list. DAVE: that aint anyones priority these days DAVE: im prepared to acknowledge the concept that hey maybe everyone elses lives dont revolve around me and my personal drama or self revelations might have some merit at least as a hypothesis DAVE: when i met kid english he kept going on about how i was the most important person and everyone else was side characters DAVE: and maybe ive acted like that sometimes DIRK: Yeah, like you alone are the one responsible for everyone around you. DAVE: and maybe ive acted like i think that way too sometimes DAVE: ive been wrong about people DAVE: people i care about people i shouldve known better DAVE: i was wrong because i wanted to believe things that matched how i wanted the world to be DAVE: things that made it easier for the story i was telling myself DAVE: i dont think kid english meant to call me on it but damn DIRK: Reality is, after all, something we construct for ourselves. DIRK: I think maybe I knew that all along when I surfaced for air inbetween shoving my head as far up my ass as it would go. DIRK: Or maybe that's just what I try to tell myself in hindsight. DAVE: well if it takes a hyperactive 12 year old version of the final bosss creepy hero worship of me to make a point i guess thats not the least subtle way the universe has sent me a message lately DIRK: You want unsubtle? Let me tell you about my damn planet quest. DAVE: haha DAVE: i didnt have to do much of my quest because im invisible DAVE: thanks mom DIRK: My denizen practically sat me down like it was my life coach and growled in my ear about improving my communication skills with a guy I told to go fuck himself not eighteen hours prior. DIRK: So while I'm glad SBURB has a vested interest in me repairing my friendships, playing electroshock death DDR with him was a little on the nose. DAVE: maybe getting shot again wasnt that bad DAVE: so weve all learned our life lessons good job team DIRK: Exactly. Can we wrap this up now? Can we please go rest? DIRK: I'm so exhausted I haven't even noticed I'm still hungover. DAVE: sure thing DAVE: but if i need tips on leaping out of a closet to intimidate passerby i might text you DIRK: I mean, I can try. As long as you don't ask me for dating tips. That, I definitely shouldn't be helping you with. DIRK: Go talk to your sister for that. DIRK: ...wouldn't she, by the transitive property of siblings, also be my sister? DAVE: yeah i guess DAVE: but theres no way in hell im asking rose for dating advice DAVE: on her first date which she refused to admit was romantically oriented she got wasted in anticipation forgot to show up and then fell down the stairs DIRK: Oh my god. DAVE: she tries to look like shes got her shit together but its a lie DAVE: if you find my corpse floating on lolar in the next few hours dont let the truth die with me DIRK: Why are we like this? DIRK: Is there actually something hardwired into our DNA that predisposes us to being disasters? DIRK: But, that aside. DIRK: I won't object if it's me you come to talk to. DAVE: ill hold you to it DAVE: and if you ever want to publicly you admit you DAVE: "enjoy birdwatching" DAVE: in less vague and evasive terms DAVE: ill have your back DIRK: Thanks.

[shirlleycoyle]

Pornhub’s Content Purge Has Left Fetish Creators Wondering What’s Next

Before the purge that disappeared more than 75 percent of content on the platform, Pornhub hosted a lot of videos and photos that weren’t humans having sex. There were full-length movies, memes, and video game playthroughs that you might see on a non-adult site like Twitch, but there was also a ton of animation, 3D renderings, audio erotica, music videos, fanfic from furries and bronies, and stop-motion animation like LEGO minifigs fucking. 

Pornhub became a dumping ground and safe harbor for a lot of stuff, and a lot of these creators didn't necessarily want to upload a photo of themselves to a huge porn corporation's database in order to get verified. They were just throwing things on the site for fun, to share with others in their respective communities, and the wider world. Compared to a site like Milovana (an adult message board and the birthplace of Cock Hero, videos of which are mostly gone from Pornhub now) or the furry fan art forum e621, Pornhub was a way to reach a more mainstream audience. With last week’s action, a lot of that stuff is now gone.

For victims of abusive imagery and non-consensual porn, as well as anyone who's had to deal filing takedown requests for pirated content uploaded to Pornhub, the removal of unverified content is a positive: between Pornhub's new policy for only allowing content partners and performers in the model program to upload and download, and the retroactive suspension of all this content pending review, the platform seems to be making long-overdue changes that sex workers and victim advocates alike have asked for. But by applying a blanket solution to a complex problem, it's caught small, independent creators from niche communities in its net. 

Several creators told me that Pornhub's damage-control scramble has created issues for verified users, locked many unverified creators out of their own content, and left many more wondering whether there's even a future for indie and fetish works on the site.

“It was a betrayal”

In a month when sex on the internet is being attacked from all sides—from Instagram's new terms of service, to TikTok kicking sex workers off the platform, to payment processors leaving Pornhub—some creators are concerned that losing one of the most popular porn sites in the world as a platform is another blow against fetish and outside-the-mainstream content on the internet as a whole. 

For a lot of creators, Pornhub's melting pot was a source of inspiration for artists, Lifty and Sylox, hosts of the Furry Frequencies podcast, told me in an email. "Many of the videos that were uploaded onto Pornhub from the furry community were sexual videos of furries partaking in sexual acts in fursuit," they said—which could include videos of furries in fullsuit with “strategically-placed holes” performing solo or with one or more partners. "Some furries perform with just their fursuit head, handpaws, and feetpaws to provide better nude content. An unverified, but significant amount of this content catered to specific fetishes of the furry community, such as feet fetishism or watersports." 

"Furries won't abandon PornHub immediately," Lifty and Sylox said, noting that more creators will likely migrate to Onlyfans or communities like Furaffinity to post content. "Changes like this tend to take time before the effects can be measured… PornHub's status as a repository for one-stop furry porn content will eventually diminish significantly." 

It's not just illustrators and furries who have lost Pornhub as a platform in the last week. Audio erotica creator Goddess By Night told me that she lost all of her content—about 40 videos. She's been making audio erotica for five years, and in the last two she'd made a business out of it. She makes Gentle Female Dominant and Dominant Mommy-themed stories, as well as Futanari role play and other kink-related fantasies.

"Most of my work is a niche within the adult entertainment industry, and Pornhub allowed me to reach a broader audience, so it’s a pretty significant loss," she said. "However, my community has been incredibly supportive and intend to follow me to the next platform(s) I choose. I don’t plan on returning to Pornhub because of this. It was a betrayal, especially to the loads of creators they explicitly welcomed after Tumblr’s ban two years ago. I know some creators who lost work that they may never get back because Pornhub didn’t offer a grace period."

Each of the creators I talked to, whether they were verified or unverified, said that they weren't given any warning before Pornhub's content suspension took place. Pornhub used the word "suspension," not "deletion," and told Motherboard at the time of the suspension announcement that this meant content would be "removed pending verification and review." 

Creators whose content was removed saw a message in place of their uploads that explained the video was "flagged for verification" and invited them to apply for the Model Program or Content Partner Program in order to re-enable the videos, or wait for the new verification process to start in 2021.

They were locked out of their own content at that point and were unable to even download it from the platform.

When Tumblr removed all NSFW content from its platform in December 2018—similarly for allegations it hosted child sexual abuse imagery, but also to appease Apple—the social media platform gave creators about two weeks of notice to get their stuff off the site. Pornhub's announcement came at 7 a.m. EST on a Monday and went into effect immediately. By the time most people saw the news, the suspensions were underway, and more than 10 million uploads were gone by 9 a.m.

This is especially bitter news for creators who, in 2018, took Pornhub up on its invitation to move to the platform from Tumblr.

"Amusingly [Pornhub was] very happy to take advantage of the Tumblr refugees back when all that went down, inviting us to upload all our galleries there," adult content illustrator IzzyBSides told me in a Twitter message. "I think most of us on Twitter know we're living on borrowed time, people have backup accounts set up and occasionally plug them to their followers letting them know to follow it in case their main account randomly disappears overnight."

Because the mass suspensions were meant as a broad solution to get unlawful, abusive content on the site under control, allowing users to download their content would miss the point of stopping the spread of any abusive imagery. But the move also meant that a lot of content that wasn’t abusive and fell well within Pornhub's terms of service was removed in the process. People didn't have the chance to choose whether they wanted to pack their bags and go elsewhere. If they want to recover their own content, they'll have to play by Pornhub's verification rules, which have yet to be announced and won't start until sometime early next year.

One animator who asked to remain anonymous told me that they lost about 20 videos, "including story animations, which I loved very much …This was sad for me as the videos were deleted without warning," they said, but added that they luckily had a backup of their videos saved to their hard drives. "However, I didn't have any income from Pornhub, so it's okay, the videos are saved and I'll just move them to another site." 

That illustrator wasn't verified, but even being a verified user didn't save some people from the purge. Pornhub's policy changes were intended to skip over verified accounts, but some users still saw their verified content taken down.

“Sex workers are under attack everywhere”

Another confusing aspect of Pornhub's cleaning spree is the effect it has had on verified creators and performers. Many have reported on Twitter that some of their verified content has been disappeared, seemingly at random, even while other uploads have stayed online. Others in the comments of Pornhub's own verification policy page say that they were verified, but now they aren't. From the outside, there seems to be no consistent reasoning for this. 

Before the policy changes, there were three types of verification, according to Pornhub: Content partners, users in the model program, and verified users. The last category is now gone, and only uploads by models and content partners remain. The users reporting verification issues were likely in that last category—verified based on the old standards Pornhub used, which involved sending Pornhub a selfie with your face and holding up a sheet of paper with your name written on it. Those users are all now unverified. But inconsistencies remain.

Riley Cyriis, a performer who's been verified on Pornhub for more than a year, told me that most of her free videos and around 40 of 120 paid videos were removed, along with 20 videos she had set to private, only viewable by her. 

"My best guess would be certain tags, like 'teen' or 'daddy,' but it's really just a guess," she said. "The majority of flagged videos were my most successful ones ranging from 200k to 700k views, so maybe it's just how they came up? My profile is pretty obviously made by a real person and I listed my age publicly."

She wasn't using Pornhub as a main income source (although many performers do), so she's planning to focus more on other platforms like Onlyfans and Manyvids. 

Pornhub has said that it will restart the verification with new requirements in 2021. But the gap is a long time to wait if you're losing an audience and relied on the site for income. Many performers have already lost significant income due to Mastercard and Visa's decision to drop Pornhub. Performer Mary Moody said in a video about the payment processing news that she was making enough money from Modelhub to cover rent each month.   

And the verification process, which still hasn't been clarified publicly by Pornhub, could bring up new issues for anyone who wants to get their content back. IzzyBSides said that they'd received verification rejections before Pornhub's content purge, because their avatar—a fire sprite—obviously doesn't match their real-life face. The reason Pornhub gave for their rejection the last time, before the content suspensions, was that their avatar didn't match their verification photo. "We need to see your face to confirm," Pornhub's customer service email to them said. According to Pornhub, this method of verification is now outdated.

It's unclear how verification will work in the future, but Pornhub has said that identification of some kind will be part of the process. There are obviously many reasons that not everyone would want to use their real face as their avatar on a porn website.

"I'm not sure how I'm supposed to get verified with those sorts of requirements," IzzyBSides said, adding that performers who wear masks or keep their faces cropped out of videos would be excluded from verification on these terms. "It would force anyone experimenting out of the closet."

I asked performer Dylan Thomas how a verification system with even more strict requirements for identity could impact trans, non-binary, and gender non-conforming content creators and performers. He said Pornhub could avoid excluding these groups by consulting with, and hiring, them to help create the new system. 

"Some of us with intersectional experience in both creative strategy, the digital space and sex work would like nothing more than to serve our community and get everyone back online, generating income and having an enjoyable, safe and sexy time," he said. 

How Pornhub’s new verification policies and process will unfold in practice is yet to be seen, but by including the voices of people who use the site, it could avoid future mistakes—just as it could have avoided this month’s backlash—and listen to the sex workers and content creators who've been asking for things to change for a long time.

"Pornhub was blatant about their disregard to what appeared on the site. But sex workers are under attack everywhere," Cyriis said. "Aside from the payout issues caused by Visa/MC, YouTubers and celebrities are flicking onto our platforms and basically doing whatever they want with no real financial repercussions. The consequences fall squarely on the shoulders of sex workers who built these platforms."

Pornhub’s Content Purge Has Left Fetish Creators Wondering What’s Next syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

[butteredonions]

End-Of-Year Fic Meme

IT’S BAAAAACK!

I’m tagging anyone and everyone who would like to have fun with this. @bosstoaster, @velkynkarma, @ashinan, @mumblefox, @flusteredkeith, @atimelordswife, @oldmythos, @queenvallkyrie, @maychorian, @andriseup, and anyone else who wants to play!

[2017 onion edition]

Stats:

List of Fics Posted: They’re all Voltron :’) All gen unless otherwise indicated.

On Tumblr: Onion 2017 Masterpost: 10,800 words voltron thinktank masterpost: my portion of which equals ~5200

On AO3: The Size Of Our Actions, ch. 6-12 (smol!Shiro, de!aged fic, gen. 40,081 words added this year) The Cavalry (Paladins, adventure/mission fic. Conclusion of a 4-part series with @bosstoaster, @mumblefox, and @ashinan as part of the Season Two countdown. (9,644 words) First Steps (Lance-centric, Star Wars!AU) (9696 words) Foundation (Keith-centric, Star Wars!AU, prequel to First Steps) (8982 words) Intrinsic (Star Wars!AU featuring Padawan Shiro) (1219 words) Disturbance (Star Wars!AU, sequel to First Steps) (18915 words) like threads, weaving (Uliro, collection of 5 prompt fills) (5338 words) brace (Uliro​) (2532 words) collision (Uliro, role reversal AU of sorts) (10455 words) cutthroat (Lance-centric, Hunger Games!AU) (1363 words) colors don't fade (Keith-centric, remix for @andriseup) (2625 words) parallel (daemon!AU, primarily Keith and Pidge) (5656 words) if tomorrow never comes (time!travel AU, onion’s first Sheith) (4195 words) indulgence (Uliro featuring blankets and h/c) (1859 words) enough to endure this (Uliro soulmate AU) (4916 words) relentless (Hunger Games!AU, prequel of sorts. Shiro-centric, tagged as pre-Sheith) (3217 words)

Total number: 16, plus tumblr Total word count: 144,156 * ( tumblr: 15,995 | AO3: 128,161) *not counting another 100k+ of drafts that have yet to see the light of day :’)

Ship/character breakdown: Ship breakdown: 5 Uliro, 2 Sheith. The rest are gen. Character breakdown:  1 full ensemble piece; 1 smol!Shiro with complete ensemble (no single narrator, everyone gets a turn); 1 young!Shiro; 3 Lance-centric, featuring others; 3 Keith-centric (one with help from Pidge); 3 Ulaz POV. The rest are all Shiro :)

Characters that had the main focus: Exactly the same as last year: Shiro is the clear winner here. I have no regrets.

Answers to more questions beneath the cut!

Specifics:

Best/worst title? Best title: I am that rare breed of creature who loves titles :’) this year it’s a tie between collision and if tomorrow never comes. Both give me chills for different reasons. Worst title: I’m not really fond of cutthroat or relentless, but they’re accurate.

Best/worst first line?

The second-best and sometimes most evil part of a story. Best: if tomorrow never comes      Of all the reasons why Shiro had missed their date, ‘time travel’ is the last thing Keith expects to hear.     :’)

Worst: colors don’t fade     Finding out about Shiro hurts. Yeah, definitely, but also the understatement of the year. Something more riveting and gripping would’ve been a stronger opening for Keith here.

Best/worst last line? The best and also most evil part, too. Best: cutthroat      “My name’s Pidge,” Pidge snaps. The setting sun gleams in her glasses, her brown eyes vicious and hard. “District Three. Who are you?” One of the best plot twists and cliffhangers I pulled off all year.

Worst: colors don’t fade      “That’s Shiro’s number,” Commander Holt says, to the room, to his daughter, to Keith. His face is pale and equally full. Keith can barely breathe. “117-9875 is Shiro’s number. If his file’s here - if he’s in penal lockdown like my son is - then the Arena didn’t kill him after all.” Honestly it’s a good ending, I just don’t like it because I had more story to tell and ran out of time. This one’s entirely on me. There’s more here than I could get to and that irks me.

General questions:

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted? Bit less. I’d planned on finishing two major WIPs this summer, but grad school and The Move™ took over so much more of life than I expected.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year? I wasn’t expecting to foray into ships. I also wasn’t expecting to realize how deeply I love blankets and fluff omg What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest. collision :) I love the premise and I’m stupidly proud of the pacing.

Okay, NOW your most popular story. I still have to count smol!Shiro, because it’s still in progress and it still isn’t done. Catch me next year on the wrap-up, too, hopefully with a finished thing~

Story most underappreciated by the universe? daemon!AU got a little less attention than I expected, but in hindsight it was a pretty busy time for folks and the pieces were quite short.

Story that could have been better? I really wish I could’ve spent more time on colors don’t fade. There was at least one more scene I wanted to write, but I ran out of time and energy for it pre-season four, and brooke had already patiently waited long enough. I wanted to do better for her. I also am not super happy with how The Cavalry turned out, but considering I wrote it when I had bronchitis, I guess it’s not bad.

Sexiest story? I started writing ships this year, so I guess.....that? it’s really mild ship as far as ship goes, though, hardly even noticeable most of the time. I don’t read hardcore ship so I don’t know how to write it beyond pining and snuggles, and I’m comfortable with that. Saddest story? enough to endure this. Most fun? collision practically wrote itself, which was awesome. Actually, so did First Steps - I grin wildly when I reread it. I miss writing fun scenes like the first half of that story. Story with single sweetest moment? The entirety of Smol Chapter Nine is so sweet and fluffy it gives me cavities. Also I giggled like a smol child myself writing it, so.

I also am just so partial to this moment in relentless:

Winning means killing three others. No; forty-seven. The odds aren’t good. “Keith,” Shiro manages. “I brought you something,” Keith says, pulling away to dig in his pocket. “Here.” A thin beam of sunlight breaks through the window, glinting weakly off the small copper object in Keith’s hand. “Keith,” Shiro says again, his breath caught in his throat. He cups his hands beneath Keith’s; the little rusted key dangles on the string between Keith’s fingers, between their hands. “I can’t take that from you, that’s - that goes to your father’s - ” “The shack’s a dump and we both know it,” Keith says, before Shiro can. His eyes shimmer, but his chin is set firm. “I need you to take it.” “I can’t,” Shiro breathes. He can’t take his eyes off Keith. “Keith, that’s all you have.” “No, you’re all I have,” Keith corrects, and pushes the key into Shiro’s right hand.

Hardest story to write? Probably The Cavalry, just because of circumstances. I gleefully volunteered to wrap-up the series, and had fun tying all the pieces together, but the timing just wasn’t good. I had to wait until all three other pieces were complete, as well as my grad school applications, and then I got bronchitis and was traveling that same weekend....just couldn’t dedicate myself to it properly or clear my head as much as it deserved.

Easiest/most fun story to write? collision wrote itself, I swear.

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters? Yes. I wasn’t expecting to fall in love with writing Ulaz, and how much fun he’s been to explore and develop based off a mere ten minutes of content. I also wasn’t expecting to enjoy writing Lance as much as I did. I put off using his POV for a story until there wasn’t a choice, but he’s actually quite a fun narrator. He’s so stream-of-consciousness that he’s surprisingly easy and relatable to get into.

Most overdue story? parallel was at least a year in coming. I sat on those snippets for entirely too long.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? This year I posted my first sheith fic, and nobody died :) Which sounds irrational to someone outside the fandom, sure, but I’m glad and relieved. This year I took risks in taking prompts and learning how to answer them. That’s largely been nothing but fun, though I’ve had to learn how to say no to a few things and not feel guilty for them. It’s also been a great lesson in learning when good enough is fine and not waiting until things are perfect. Also, a fantastic way to keep writing and/or get back into it. All the prompts you’ve sent in have been motivating and fun to think about, even if I haven’t gotten to / or won’t quite get to them as I’d hoped. <3 I also learned it’s way easier to start ideas than finish them; fun, yes, but something I’m hoping to improve upon next year.

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

1) Figure out a writing schedule that works with grad school, if that’s even possible. 2) Finish things, including: - The Size Of Our Actions - collision - maybe the epic star wars fic I’ve now been sitting on for a year and a half - and at least one of the AUs (Hunger Games, Star Wars, etc. or....?) 3) Boss has told me I should stop being scared of writing sick!fic

:) happy new year and 2018!

[hellopeppermintea]

Forget and Move On (Mr. Y)

If the first post is about my mental health. This time is about my love life.

We start now.

Theres a guy, lets called him Mr. Y. I knew this guy from tinder. Yes TINDER. We matched earlier last year. But we never messaged each other until June 2019. That was the first time he send me a message. But guess what? I didnt reply it. Cause i was stupid enough chose to talked to the other guys (called this guys as Mr. D, and we'll talk about him later).

Long short story. I decided to reply Mr. Y message on December 2019.

Guess what? Turns out he is from the same city as me. I never always use Tinder whenever my not in the town.

He is 2 years older than me. He is an Architect, he is cute ( i have to admit this), he can paly guitar (plus point). But here is the sad part. I wasnt in the town when i decided to reply his message. I was in another city, for the sake of started a new business at that city.

We started texting. He is quite fun to talk to. He is cool. Rather than asked "what are you doing, have you eat you lunch, etc" you small talks that quite annoying, he asked me whats my fears. What the bad things i have done. I told him i went to bar and drunk beer or wine. He said it wasnt that bad. Still normal.

I didnt ask him what he has done. I knew he went to club (from a pic on his tinder). I told him i would guess, " you go to club, partying, get drunk"

He said yeah he went to club but go to club wasnt his thing. He said he dislike the music ( he is more like indie and rock), full of smoke ( we both hate smoke and another clue for me he doesnt smoke). And guess what he told me, he smoked weed. Once. He told me he tried it once, but would never smoke weed again. ( btw, weed is illegal on my country). Well its his words we never know he will smoke weed again or not.

I remember, it was shock me. He look like a good guy and innocent. I didnt asked him how he got that thing or with whom he tried it. i was just like “okay”

Long short story, we were texting. i flew back to my home town to celebrate CNY, and he knew i was coming back home but he didnt know it was just short visit. i thought he would asked me out for a date, it turned out that he was busy during that time cause he got a lot of project to be done.i just stayed at home only for 10 days, and i had to flew back to that city again.

i was kinda sad he didnt asked me out cause i didnt know when i’ll back to my hometown again that meant i missed my chance to met him but something happened by the end of February, i had to back to my hometown for good. i canceled all my business plan in that town. i told him i was coming back.in the middle of march, he asked me out to watch movie. finally! we picked the date. Thursday evening on 6pm. he picked me up at my home. wait, before you judge me why i let stranger pick me up, heres the fun fact.

i told you guys i stalked him on his IG, and i found out his mom is my mom’s friend. so i know its save to go out with him. plus i live in small city where every chinese know other chinese too, so i’ll be save. i think till now he doesnt have a clue that his mom and my mom are friend. 

okay back to the story about my date. i remember when i was getting ready,my heart was pounding so hard. i felt nervous. i was afraid that he would dump me right after one date.6pm past something, he arrived. i went out from the gate, i saw his car. i opened the passanger door, hopped on his car and said “hello”. and i wasnt nervous anymore.

he is cuter in real life. yes he is. he isnt that tall. we are on the same height, 166cm. we had small talk cause it was the first time we saw each other. he chose the cinema, its near my home only 5 minutes by car. not so crowded, i thought he chose that cinema cause he was trying to avoid to met people like his friends or family cause it would be awkward but never-mind cause i was thinking about that too. he bought the ticket.

we came quite early. we were waiting, we sat on chair and had small talk about our work and stuff. we entered the studio, waiting for the movie to be played. and again small talk again, this time about corona cause we kinda paranoid about that. the movie begun, we stopped talking.

we focused on the movie. i was trying to took glance on him, but i wasnt brave enough to did it. the movie ended, we left the studio, headed to the restroom. i went to the female restroom, he went to the male restroom.

after i done, i thought he was waiting for me in front of the male restroom, but he wast there.i saw him, he was sitting on the waiting area, talking to 2 guys. i was like should i came to him but it would be very awkward, or should i just wait for me from afar ?when i almost walked back to the restroom, he looked at me, and then after that he excused himself, and ended his chit chat session with those guys. i quietly followed him.

i didnt talk to him cause i knew those 2 guys was looking at us. after we left the cinema, we talked about  the movie, and he told me about those guy. we didnt have dinner together cause i had my dinner before he picked me up. and it almost 9pm. he drove me back to my home.

after we arrived at my home, i said good bye and thank you. i was waiting for him to texted me after that. but he didnt. no text at all.

i was thinking, maybe he felt a little bit intimidated by me cause im quite tall. but honey, i dont care about your height. i like talked to him cause he is open minded, cool, and smart. i texted my guy best friend, asked for his opinion.

what am i supposed to do? should i text him first? or should i not? what if he reject me? my friend said what if he was the one felt rejected? no, i would went on 2nd date him i told my friend. lucky me, on the next monday i had to flight to accompanied my sister to visited her doctor. i posted on my instastory, i was on airport. after i landed in X, i saw a chat from me, he asked where i was going. i told him i went to X. he asked me what would i did in that city, i told him why. he just replied with ‘Ohh” “no honey, im not gonna take “ooh” for the answer. im gonna make you asked me out again” that was on my mind. and i send him a meme. he likes meme, so do i. after one meme sent to him, we talk to each other again. 

guess what ?just few minute after that he asked me out for dinner. we had not pick the date, but he picked a cafe. nice little cafe/bakery near a beach.

long short story, i backed to my home town cause this virus is got worse, and he had to cancel his business trip. we still texting, till one day he said “ i think our plan is cancel, how long are we gonna waiting for this virus to be over” i felt sad when i was reading his text. 

we waited 3 months for our first date, now we had to wait again for 2nd date? it wast fair! he is the guy that i would date! he is really my type. what am i gonna do?after that text, he started replying my message twice a day, sometimes once a day. i felt it was kinda boring. i hoped he would tried to call me, but he didnt. and me being me, i was not brave enough to called him first. 

and on the day the last time he texted me, i had big fight with my dad. i felt i wasnt deserve to be loved. i felt like no one will love me cause im quite rude to my dad (we will talk about my dad later), so i didnt try to maintain the text. i just replied it with not so long text and he was gone after that. he didnt reply. till now, i have no clue is he read my text but decided to not reply it or is head just leave my text unread? cause i have deleted all the message

well its his choice. i know i didnt try to maintain cause i have my issue, but hey if he still want to talk to me he can try right? but he didnt. so that means he feel bored too.

i read a quote “ during this quarantine, you can tell how much people want to invest on you. either in friendship or relationship” now i know, he doesnt want to invest him time anymore.

do i try to text him again? hell no. 

do i blame the virus? no.

o i blame the time? no. why? cause RIGHT PERSON IS TIMELESS.

i feel theres something wrong with this guy. but i dont know what is that thing. is this because his friends? i almost know his friends cause his friends are my senior when i was in secondary school, and his friends have that bad boy vibe.

what if this guy as bad as his friends? i was thinking like that.what Gods plan? is He trying to save me from this guy so He close the door?or is He trying to teach me to wait in the “wait room” with a good attitude?

i tried to gain this guy attention by post all the food that i cooked on my instastory but it didnt work. well at least i tried, a part of me want him back to me, talked to me again, and wishing he isnt as bad as his friends. he still look at my instastory, he still follow me on instagram. 

i dont know what his intentions. do you want me, or he just talk to me cause he needs someone to talk to when he feels bored?

we both on the age where we are mature enough to get married. he is turning 27 years old this year and i’ll turn 25 years old in few days. i thought we’ll beat the bush and straight up to the business, tell each other want we looking for in relationship. but we didnt. i still feel sad, but im on my process to move on. 

i keep telling myself sometimes you dating life isnt smooth as what you want. and its okay, lets start over with someone new after i finish healing myself, after i get over my trauma, depression and anxiety. i know i deserve to be loved. and love will find me. its just the matter of time. the love will come, the right one will come.

 xxx,-T

[artificialqueens]

Nobody tells me what to do. (Sashea) - billciphereyes

I’m back with another Sashea fanfic that took me much longer than expected to write!

My attempt at Sashea smut based on a heckler telling Shea “No Ma'am” during War on the Catwalk when Shea was asked who she would hook up with and she proceeded to hit on Sasha. In this, Shea is still pissed at the guy by the time they get back to the hotel and Sasha has to try to calm her down. It (kinda) works but Shea takes out all of her pent up anger on totally dominating Sasha. In this story, both of them are single and don’t have boyfriends. As in my last fic, Sasha goes by She/her in and out of drag and will be referred to as such. Don’t get used to me posting this often, because college and I will have a crazy schedule for the first few weeks. Until I figure out how to time manage, my writing time/ ideas will be limited. Postive/constructive comments are welcome!

After the show was over for the night and all the fans had left, the Queens were allowed to go back to their hotel rooms. After showering the rest of her makeup off, Sasha practically collapsed onto the bed. She loved touring and meeting her fans, but was frequently left exhausted at the end of every show. She got on her phone and started scrolling through social media. It was a ritual for her, something relaxing to calm her down and help her get ready to go to bed. As she was looking at her Twitter, her phone buzzed.

Shea: “Hey, can you come to my room? I need a Sasha hug.”

Sasha was slightly confused. Shea would normally come knocking at her hotel room at all hours for whatever reason, most recently at 3 in the morning to show Sasha a ridiculous meme that apparently couldn’t wait until a more decent time. Never had he asked her to come to his room. Nonetheless Sasha got up, grabbed her room key, found a pair of flip-flops, and walked across the hallway to what she knew to be Shea’s room. He opened the door as soon as she knocked, pulled her in the room, and embraced her, shutting the door with his hand. “Baby, what’s wrong?” She asked, wrapping her arms around him as well. He didn’t answer her at first, but continued to hold her in the small hallway of the room. After a moment or two, he spoke up. “I’m just so mad about what happened tonight.” He whispered. At first, Sasha was confused, then she remembered. During the Q and A part of the show, Shea had been asked if she would ever hook up with another Drag Queen, to which she proceeded to ask Sasha about her evening plans in a very sexual way. The fans ate it up, except for one heckler who screamed “No Ma'am!” at her. Shea then tried to take her jacket off to fight whoever said it, failing miserably, and then sat back down. To the fans who were watching, it would look like another adorable “Sashea” moment like the ones that happened frequently over social media. But Sasha could tell that Shea was genuinely annoyed just from her eyes when they caught hers on stage. But now, as Sasha watched angry tears run down Shea’s face, she realized just how much the comment affected her sweet friend.  "I know we haven’t been famous that long, but you should know by now not to let those kind of people affect you.“ She told him, moving one of her hands to wipe away some of his tears. Shea sighed. "I know, and had it been just directed at me, I would have been ok. But since it was directed at you as well, I’m not ok with it.” Sasha stared at him. She couldn’t explain it, but when he said that, butterflies started flying in her stomach. He must have interpreted her face as confusion, because he continued. “ I mean, the statement could be interpreted In anyway you want, but I see it in one of two ways, either I’m not good enough for you, or you’re not good enough for me, neither of which I’m ok with. "He said. "Because you mean so much to me Sasha, so, so, much to me, and the fact that someone has the nerve to suggest in anyway that you’re less than amazing makes me so mad.” Shea said, visibly shaking. Sasha felt tears running down her own face, in shock about what she had just heard. She knew she should say something, but she didn’t know what to say. “ For what it’s worth, I think the world of you too”. She heard herself say. “And I hate seeing you cry just because of a hater”. “ Oh, it’s not JUST him Sasha, It’s every single "fan” that thinks they can bully other Queens just because their favorite went home. Every single person that hides behind a computer screen and talks trash. It’s not right!“ He sobbed. "I know Boo, but those people don’t know the real you, and the real you is so beautiful and caring, and if they can’t see that, then it’s their loss.” She said, stroking his cheek. “ people are mean, and you’ve got to rise above the pettiness and continue to shine like the star you are.” “I know.” He said. “It’s just just hard to remain calm when a hater appears in person and yells at you. Even more so when you’re talking about some one you love.” Sasha felt her heart skip a beat at his words. “He loves me. Shea loves me.” She replayed in her head. She and Shea had told each other that they loved each other before, but this felt different, It felt like it expanded beyond just friends, and God did that sound good to Sasha. But right now, she realized she needed to calm him down in some way. “It’s a good thing there was something separating you two, otherwise you would have killed the guy.” She said in a lame attempt at a joke. He smiled. “Gurl you know it!” They laughed until Sasha’s stomach hurt. When they caught their breath, their eyes met. The tenderness in which he looked at her made her knees feel weak. His hand reached out to cup her cheek and used his thumb to stroke her. As if by instinct, her lips puckered. She blushed, but silently begged Shea to kiss her. He smiled, then leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. Sasha gasped, giving Shea room to explore her mouth with his tongue. Arms pulled each other closer, allowing Sasha to feel Shea’s erection against her own. She moaned into his mouth, leaning into him, barely able to support herself. Shea pulled back, and Sasha saw a spark in his eyes before she felt her feet leave the ground, gravity pulling her flip-flops back down. She shreaked as Shea walked deeper into the room, stopping at the side of the bed before unceremoniously dumping Sasha onto it. Shea stood by the side of the bed, staring into Sasha’s eyes with a deep intensity, a look that she had never seen in anyones eyes before. As she watched, Shea reached out and took off her glasses, making things a little blurrier. He placed them on the night stand, then walked over to what Sasha assumed was his suitcase. She couldn’t see what he was doing, but she had a pretty good idea. Sure enough, when he walked back over, He had a box of condoms and a bottle of lube in his hands. The meer sight of the objects made Sasha moan again. He placed them next to her glasses, then got on the bed himself, strattling Sasha’s hips. He leaned down so that He could kiss her again. “Are you ok with this?” he asked aginst her lips. “Yes.” She breathed. “Take me. I’m all yours.” Shea smiled into the kiss, then left her mouth to plant soft kisses on her cheeks, her chin, under her jawline, and on her neck. Every single time his lips touched her skin, shivers went through her and goosebumps appered. She didn’t think she could feel more beautiful, then another kiss was planted. Shea began to bite at her neck, hard. Sasha let out a strangled cry, pleasure mostly overriding the pain. She imagined hickies all up and down her neck in the morning and the other Queens not having to work very hard to put two and two together, but she didn’t care. The animalistic idea of marking something as ones own, of Shea marking Sasha as his own was such a turn on. Shea began taking their shirts off, first his, then Sasha’s. The kisses contuned, trailing down her boy chest. Sasha tangled her fingers in Shea’s hair, only to have him remove them and place them back at her sides, the look in his eyes begging her not to move. He went back to kissing her, progressively getting closer to the part that made her male, which she was very much aware of at the the moment. She watched as Shea paused, his fingers tucked underneath the waistband of Sasha’s pants. His eyes flicked up to meet hers, and he must have seen the desperation in her eyes, because he promptly yanked her pants down, leaving her completely naked. Sasha couldnt help but blush, but Shea didnt notice, he was too busy staring. He kissed the very tip of her member, licking up the drops that had aready leaked out. Sasha let out a soft moan as his tongue moved all around the tip, screwing up the bedsheets in her hands. Shea looked up at her, smirked, then took all of her in his mouth. Sasha gasped, which made Shea chuckle, causing more vibrations to go up her spine. He licked, sucked, and hummed until Sasha was a shaking mess under him. She wanted to stroke his cheek, tangle her fingers in his hair, reciprocate his touch in some way, but she knew that he would just move her hands again. “Damm his stubbornness.” She thought to herself. Suddenly, he released her, sitting up. He looked her straight in her eyes as he took off his own pants, giving Sasha a brief glance at his own erection before flipping her over on her stomach. She heard the distinctive sound of a cap opening before a lube-covered finger entered her. She gasped loudly, feeling that pleasure/pain combo that she loved. Shea began thrusting his finger in and out of her, trying to open her up while pressing kisses against her back. A second finger soon entered her, followed up by a third. Sasha was moaning into the pillow, trembling as each thrust sent shockwaves through her body.  She felt his fingers leave her, then heard a lot of indistinguishable noises before the clear sound of a wrapper  opening rang throught the room. A moan of anticipation left her lips, knowing what was coming next. Shea helped Sasha to her hands and knees before kneeling behind her, the tip of him pressed up against her entrance. His hands grabbed her sides before slowly pushing himself in. Sasha and Shea gasped in unison, and Sasha felt tears well up in her eyes. Unable to find any words, she motioned for him to wait. He did, stroking her back gently until she thought she was ready, so she motioned for him to go ahead. The first few thrusts hurt, they usually did, but the pleasure soon overtook her, especially when he found the sensitive bundle of nerves that caused her to moan even deeper. And him, the noises he was making were so beautiful, it turned her on even more. As he picked up the pace, Sasha could feel his sweat drip onto her back, she knew most people would find it gross, but she loved it, loved the rawness of it. She felt a hand wrap around her member and start stroking it, causing Sasha to become almost overwelmed with not only pleasure, but love. Love for Shea, for the man who got so upset at the very notion of her being subpar to anyone else, who loved her for who she was, and who she loved back with such ferocity it hurt. It was just so freaking beautiful, the way two people could find each other and want to be close. It was even more beautiful when those two people decided that they were more than friends. She came hard, letting out a half scream half cry, and just barely avoided collapsing. Shea came moments after, Shaking like crazy. After he pulled out and got rid of the condom, they laid next to each other, Shea stroking Sasha’s arm and Sasha playing with Shea’s hair. “Hey Sasha?” Shea asked after a few moments.  " Yeah Babe? “ She replied, feeling a little sleepy. ” I love you. “ Sasha’s eyes shot open, her heart was pounding again. ” I mean, I’m not just saying that because we just had amazing sex, I actually love you, I’ve loved you for a while now And I guess it just now came to the surface. I…“ "Shea , it’s ok.” She told him, grabbing his free hand. “ I love you too. More than you’ll ever know. ” He smiled at her, then pulled her closer and kissed her.  They jumped apart when a phone went off several times in a row. Sasha crawled over to where her pants had been dumped and pulled out her phone before going back over to Shea. She had three text messages.

Trinity: “ You know the walls here are paper-thin, right?”

Farrah: “ It’s about damm time you and Shea hooked up, good for you gurl! ”

Eureka: “Gurl what is Shea doing to you in there?”

“Oh no!” Groaned Sasha, showing Shea her phone. Shea laughed as Sasha covered her face with her hands. “Why? Why couldn’t they leave it alone?” “ Because they’re Drag Queens and they’re obsessed with gossip and our sex lifes.” Shea said, rubbing her side. “We’re never going to hear the end of this, are we?” “ No way, Babe. The moment we step outside we’ll be bombarded with "I told you so’s”  Shea said, pulling her hands away from her face and gently kissing her. Sasha gave herself over to the kiss, every single inch of her loving his touch. It seemed like only seconds had passed before Sasha’s phone went off again. She groaned into his lips before breaking apart and grabbing her phone.

Alexis: “You sure showed that one guy from tonight!”

Sasha and Shea burst into laughter at the same time. “ We did show him who’s boss tonight, didn’t we?” Sasha asked with a giant smile on her face. “ Damm right we did!” Shea said, pulling Sasha closer and stroking her face. “Nobody tells Shea Coulee what to do.”

[whyldkratts]

for the ask meme: all of them, but if thats too much maybe just the last 10?

Sorry for the long post aaaa1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? [I bought lottery tickets bc I was in texas and they’re not legal where I live and the cashier at the gas station didn’t even ask for my id. I tried to show him and he just shook his head and let me go???? He didnt even care wtf]2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? [Nah]3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? [Yea a little bit. I mean if it was just occasionally that’s probably fine? But a lot of my family has fucked up their entire lives with drugs so anything like that is iffy for me. It depends on how often they smoke ultimately]4: Do you find it easy to trust others? [I’d say yeah, probably. As long as you don’t fuck me over or guilt me within the first few weeks of knowing me id probably feel comfortable messaging you if I needed someone to talk to]5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? [Scrolling Tumblr]6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? [Probably my irl bffs lindy and raven!]7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? [Dump them. Adios fucker. I hope they’re happy with whoever they cheated on me with]8: Are you close with your dad? [Yeah I’d say so? I love him and he usually let’s me do my thing]9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? [Nah]10: What are you listening to? [Run by hozier]11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? [Sweet tea!!!! I’m from the south baby]12: Do you like hickeys? [Never has one so I don’t know!]13: What time do you go to bed? [Uhhhhhh 5am?]14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? [My siblings.]15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? [Nope I fuck up spelling a lot and have to go back and fix it no matter how many hands I’m typing with]16: Do you always answer your texts? [I try!! Unless I’m emotionally tired or forget]17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? [No. She’s my best friend now, actually]18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? [LIKE 3 MINUTES AGO I was complaining about how long it car ride home is]19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? [My irlbest friends, the cars discord chat I’m in, and a lot of my wk friends]20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? [I was writing ducktales fanfiction in my head]21: Is anyone else in the room with you? [I’m in a car with my mom for the next uhhh 7 hours?]22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? [Karmas a bitch]23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? [I was visiting family in Indiana, so yea probably? Tho I am pretty happy now too]24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? [Sometimes, with my old pal cat. She did some bad things so I stopped talking to her, but sometimes I want to catch up and see how she’s doing.]25: In the past week, have you cried? [YEAH over a darkwing duck episode]26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? [Grey. It has Mickey mouse on it!]27: Do people ever call you by your last name? [Noooope]28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? [I wouldn’t know]29: Do you have a best friend? [YEAH everyone in the cars discord and raven and lindy]30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? [No it was my great grandma lol]31: Who was your last call/text message from? [Call: red cross asking for my blood. Text: raven saying “dang”]32: Are you mad at anyone? [Not really? I don’t get angry very easily at all]33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you? [When I was a freshman I was dating a junior]34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? [My great grandma! 88 I think]35: How many more days until your birthday? [LIKE a whole entire year. August 2nd]36: Do you have any summer plans yet? [Help my friend after her spine surgery p much. Visit family around the 4th of july]37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? [I have tons of girl friends!! All my best friends are girls (except em but they’re a good friend still!!!)]38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? [Lindy doesn’t know I’m trans]39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? [Uhhhhhhhhhhh next question]40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? [I try not to regret things like that]41: Do you think age matters in relationships? [UH YEAH?? An adult dating a minor ain’t my deallll]42: Are you available? [Lmfao yeah but don’t hold your breath I’m awful at relationships]43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? [My ex and bff dksdkdiajsai kill Me. I’ve had small crushes but I don’t rly let them grow too much if I realize they’re poppin up]44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? [Septum]45: Do you believe exes can be friends? [Yeah!!!!! I just reconnected with my ex from freshmen year and he’s cool]46: Do you regret anything? [Times where my mouth moved before my head could think and I hurt someone I cared about. Times where I didn’t listen. Times where I hesitated. But the past is a different country, and I try not to waste the present lamenting what I could’ve done.]47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? [Home. And the mistakes I’ve made.]48: Did you ever lose a best friend? [Yeah. She moved away and we just… talked less, and less, and less.]49: Was your last kiss a mistake? [Nah it was my great grandma]50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? [They have a bf and also dont like me plus im unlovable and bad at relationships and feelings *shrug emoji* the other person I’m interested in lives too far away and also doesn’t like me like that]51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? [Twas my gg and probably when I was a baby]52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? [All these last kiss ones are so angsty and sad and it was literally my grandma 5 hours ago I’m laughing]53: What was the last thing you ate? [McDonald’s French fries!!!!!]54: Did you get any compliments today? [Nah I’m in my road trip attire so I look like a mess]55: Where are you going on your next vacation? [New Orleans in October for voodoo fest!! Gonna see the foo fighters B)]56: Do you own anything from other countries?[I think I have Canadian money somewhere…]57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?[girls!!]58: Where have you lived most of your life?[Sweet Home Alabama]59: When was the last time you took a long drive?[DOING IT RN!!!!! 13 HOURS]60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?[yea but it was like, mashed up with truth or dare. Instead of kissing we asked them truth or dare]61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?[nah I’m pretty mild]62: Who do you text the most?[raven probably? Or max]63: What was the last movie you saw?[spirited away I think??? First time I ever saw it]64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?[I’m single, don’t remind me :P]65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?[I was 12 and right smack dab in the middle of my ugly awkward phase (thays still going on today!) So I had none lmao]66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?[nah]67: Do you curse around your parents?[GOOD LORD NO]68: Are you happy with where you live?[I? Hate Alabama. My city is okay but I want to move somewhere nicer]69: Picture of yourself? [I have a selfie tag. I would upload but I’m lazy. Maybe if I find a pic I like later I will]70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?[polyamory All the wayy!!!!! But monogamy is cool too]71: Have you ever been dumped?[probably in elementary school but I don’t remember? I usually am the one to end it bc I get freaked out and skittish around people genuinely caring about me so I break it up before they’re disappointed]72: What do you most like about making out?[being comfortable and close enough with someone to do it.]73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?[yup!]74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?[depends? I’ve asked to kiss someone and I’ve been asked equal amounts.]75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?[eyes? Idk there’s a lot that goes into finding someone attractive it’s hard to narrow it down]76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?[my mom]77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?[virgin]78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?[virgin]79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?[Any cartoon character I’m currently hyperfixated on]80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?[yes. But i would go slow and I wouldn’t want to meet their child until we were both sure this was something we wanted long term.]81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?[no its usually me? Wait i take that back!! One girl did while I was in hs but I’m pretty sure she only did it bc she just figured out her sexuality and I was queer and there.]82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?[nope I bottle that shit up!!!! But if it’s a long standing crush I’ll tell a few people eventually]83: Do you miss your last sweetie?[No.]84: Last time you slow danced with someone?[my friend Franklin at prom. We pretended to be spies on a mission forced to act casual as we scoped out potential enemies]85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?[??? Don’t like the skeptical quote marks. I’ve been in long distance relationships before, yes.]86: How can I win your heart?[just like…… be nice to me, ever, and I’m into it. Talk about things you like, ask me about things I like, try and get into/understand my interests and I’ll do the same?? Don’t make fun of me and don’t belittle my interests. The bar is low]87: What is your astrological sign?[leo]88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?[sleeping]89: Do you cook?[pasta!!!!!!!]90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?[yeah!!! 3 years of no talking and I reconnected with max recently]91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?[uh it’s complicated. Yes but idk if I’m in a good place for a relationship. I haven’t even begun to transition at all.]92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?[you say that like I could get multiple people to date me]93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?[nice dress style?? Glasses are good too. Idk questions like this are hard augh]94: Name four things that you wish you had![money, a job, plush darkwing duck toy, a car]95: Are you a player?[no]96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?[nooooope]97: Are you a tease?[hahahahaha no]98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?[nope!!! Not yet]99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?[maybe. But I don’t think you can love someone too deeply who doesn’t love you back]100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?[sure, plenty]101: Hugs or Kisses?[both??? Both is good]102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?[It’s Not shyness, it’s rejection I have a problem with]103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?[girls are pretty]104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?[Yeah I guess]105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?[If it was an open relationship and everyone knew the situation, then yea prob?? If not, then no.]106: Do you flirt a lot?[not really]107: Your last kiss?[my grandmaaaaa]108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?[not in a romantic way]109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?[not in a romantic way]110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?[next question]111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?[nope!! It’s a hopefully nice surprise for future me]112: Does someone like you currently?[probably not lol but ive got no idea!!]113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?[sure]114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?[I want to fall in love.]115: Ever made out with just a friend?[yeah]116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?[in a relationship I think?]117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.[just send me an ask and ill answer it]

This got a bit of self hatred dashed in there whoops sorry!!!

[thepageofapillow]

Putting Disaster In Charge

Summary: JJ Project is away for a comeback and Jackbam have responsibilites. Taken from the starter meme, “Do you think it’s cooked all the way?”

Pairing: Jackson/Bambam

Word Count: 2.1K

Also on AO3!

A/N: This was the last fic I fully finished while I was in high school. Also, I wrote this before I knew JJ Project was having a comeback. I must be fuckin psychic.

Sometimes when Jaebum is away, it gets hectic; that just means Jinyoung has to serve as the Authorative Adult™ for the day and everything is fine.

It’s never okay when both Jinyoung and Jaebum are gone.

In the GOT7 dorm, there’s a hierarchy of sorts. It wasn’t established right away, but no one knows how it got this way. Jinyoung and Jaebum instantly took on the role of mom and dad of the dorm. Partly because they were perfectly suited for it, but most of the reason was because they were practically married already.

So when they’re both gone, it’s up to the next couple in charge to take on those roles. So it’s safe for Jackson to say that the rest of the members are totally fucked.

Because his boyfriend is Bambam, the loudest memelord nuisance of the century. Jackson finds those qualities to be quite charming and endearing, but apparently the rest of the dorm doesn’t think so. Mark mocks him as he pecks Bambam on the cheek, making gurgling noises as he pretends to stick his finger down his throat.

“Dare I say it, but you two are being way grosser than Jinyoung and Jaebum,” Mark sneers, cranking up the volume on his phone. Jackson has no idea what he’s listening to, but the beat is thumping and slightly vibrating the couch they’re all sitting at. Yugyeom is in the corner with Youngjae, no doubt flirting with him, and Mark is chilling on the couch with the loudest couple in the dorm.

“Good. We’re way cuter than them anyways, right?”

Jackson turns to his boyfriend as he slings his arm harshly around the boy’s shoulders. Bambam chuckles obnoxiously. Jackson thinks it’s barf-inducing and cute all at the same time. 

“Right. At least I had the guts to ask Jackson out, unlike a certain someone.” Bambam emphasizes his point by snapping his head over to Yugyeom and Youngjae. They both stay silent and burn bright red on the cheeks.

“Riiight. So, what are we having for dinner anyways? I’m hungry as fuck.”

Jackson’s eyes widen as he gently removes his arm around Bambam’s side. He gets up dramatically and points towards the kitchen. “There’s food in there, go make it yourself!!”

“See, I would, but I have no idea how long to cook chicken for. That’s what Jinyoung planned to make tonight. And since one of you is mom for today, you can make it. Maybe it’ll be good experience in the future so you don’t burn your house down.”

Jackson turns pink as he daydreams of living together with Bambam, maybe in a cottage with cute flowers and a hammock in the backyard hanging from a large oak tree, that is, until Mark leans on his knees enough for his hand to waver in Jackson’s face. He snaps several times, snapping Jackson out of his fantasy. He’s a little sad it’s gone.

“Go. You know damn well we’re not gonna let Yugyeom go cook, and Youngjae looks like he would faceplant onto the stove if he even tried.” At that statement, Jackson looks over at Youngjae, who is mid-conversation with Yugyeom, his eyes drooping and shallow breaths threatening to even out soon. He’d probably fall asleep sitting up again. Hopefully he doesn’t drool on Yugyeom this time.

“Sure thing, hyung,” Bambam says with a pleasant face. Bambam gets up, patting Jackson’s shoulders and steering him into the kitchen. He leans into Jackson’s side and whispers, “We’re fucking screwed. I really hope you know how to cook chicken.”

Jackson looks helplessly at his boyfriend as he steers him to the counter. A recipe is posted to the fridge, Jinyoung’s attempt to be somewhat helpful to whoever the kitchen duty fell upon. In the corner at the end of the recipe reads, good luck, losers, in bigger print than the rest of it. Jackson sighs, moving the magnet off of the piece of paper and attempting to decode Jinyoung’s writing like he was reading hieroglyphics. He sighs audibly, thunking his head against the fridge door.

“It isn’t totally hopeless,” Bambam replies, smiling at his boyfriend who was currently trying to become one with the fridge. He plucks the paper from Jackson’s fingers and reads it. “I know what a lot of these spices are, so I can season pretty well, probably.” Bambam leans up against the counter, tilting his head so he can get a better look at Jackson. “Just cook the chicken. I can handle the rest, probably.”

“Stop saying probably! You’re making me more nervous than I probably need to be!” Jackson stamps his feet, creating the illusion that he’s about to throw an adult tantrum. However, Bambam sees through the charade and he laughs. He pokes Jackson’s cheek and turns around, opening cabinets to obtain the right pan for the right job. When he turns back around, Jackson is still pouting.

Bambam opens the fridge and gestures toward the plate on the top shelf. “Chicken isn’t gonna walk out of the fridge on its own, you know.” Bambam flashes a blinding smile and Jackson sighs, taking it and unraveling the plastic wrap settled on top of it. He figures he should probably be cleanly about this since he’s feeding several mouths. 

He washes his hands in the sink next to his boyfriend. He flashes him a mock smile, but it quickly turns into a real one when Bambam presses a wad of suds to the tip of Jackson’s nose. For the first time since they decided to embark on this cooking adventure, Jackson laughs. And it’s loud. He and Bambam fight with soap suds until Mark gets annoyed.

“I don’t think washing your hands for ten hours is gonna make kimchi jjigae!”

Jackson sticks his tongue out at Mark and dries his hand on the towel near the sink. He sincerely wishes that they could use pork belly for the kimchi jjigae, but Jaebum pulled out his disgusting aegyo and convinced Jinyoung to get chicken instead for tonight’s meal. Jackson fondly remembers throwing up a little in his mouth at the scene. He feels it now as he stares at the chicken breast, knife now in hand. He gulps and holds one side as he attempts to cut away the skin and fat, per the request of one troublesome maknae. He wishes he could strangle the kid and get away with it.

On the instructions now, it says to cube them. Next to Jackson, Bambam is steaming vegetables in a large pot. He’s pulled out Jinyoung’s signature baby blue apron, and it usually looks bad. But on Bambam, it makes him look strangely hot. Jackson gulps again.

He looks away and finishes cubing up all the chicken that was piled on the plate. He wipes at the nonexistent sweat on his brow, satisfied with his hard work. He huffs as he sets the knife down carefully. He goes to retrieve the rice to start steaming it, in the process stealing a piece of kimchi from the giant container. It’s almost empty.

Bambam smacks Jackson on the arm as he gets out the rice cooker, and Jackson smiles. He starts to walk away when Bambam yanks him back by the collar of his shirt. “Don’t think you’re getting away too easy. Remember, you have to cook that,” Bambam says, pointing towards the cutting board full of chicken with his wooden spoon. This situation is the definition of domesticity and Jackson drools at the sight.

He slumps his shoulders, lifting up the board and pulling out a pan. He greases it and waits for it to heat up, watching Bambam stir the broth with all the vegetables. He wonders if they should add tofu to it when he hears the sizzle of the pan beckon him. He throws the chicken in, moving it around with a spoon that matches Bambam’s. He has no idea when this should be done.

He peers at it after a good five minutes, tapping Bambam on the shoulder. “Does this look cooked all the way?”

Bambam leans over and peers at it as well, narrowing his eyes. “Uh, you could cut it and see if it is.”

Jackson shrugs, taking a cube of meat out of the pan and twisting his spoon to cut through it. “What color is it supposed to be?”

“White, I think.”

Jackson picks up the cut piece of chicken and closely examines it. “It’s still a little pink in the middle. Should I wait a bit longer or is this considered rare?”

Bambam laughs, putting the top back on the pot he is manning. “I think that might be dangerous, so I’d wait.”

Jackson nods, putting the piece he cut back into the pan. He stirs it around some more and waits a few more minutes to check it. When he cuts through it this time, it’s white all the way through. “All done, I think!”

Bambam nods, taking the end of the pan and dumping the chicken into the pot. Last time Jackson checked, there was only vegetables in the pan, but now all the proper seasonings and pre-made broth have been added, and it smells divine. Jackson opens a drawer closest to the rice cooker and attempts to dip a spoon in to taste, but Bambam smacks his arm. “No tasting until the kids can taste it.”

Jackson puffs out his bottom lip, shuffling from side to side and whining. “But you’ve tasted it like twenty times!”

“That, my friend, is because I am the chef of this creation. I need to make sure it is perfect,” Bambam enunciates, pulling off an abysmal French accent.

“First of all, I’m not your friend, we’re dating. Second of all, the accent was horrible. third of all, this is so unfair!!!” He stomps his feet again and crosses his arms. Bambam just laughs at him.

“Okay, piss baby. I know you won’t ever leave me alone if you don’t get a taste, so here.” Bambam dips his spoon into the broth, putting his hand underneath so none of it drips on the floor. He blows on it a little before thrusting it in front of Jackson’s face, and the older boy’s eyes light up as he sips from it.

“Ooh, it’s really good!!” He does a little shimmy and smiles with all of his teeth. “Ah, I’m so excited!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now go over there and get the rice out, dearest wife.”

Jackson rolls his eyes and reaches the rice cooker just as it beeps.  He also pulls out several pre-made side dishes out of the fridge and heats them accordingly. Bambam had also put him to the task of setting the table. When he goes out of the kitchen, he finds an appalling sight before him. Mark has since abandoned the couch and is blasting music in his shared room with Youngjae. 

But that isn’t the worst part. Jackson is gonna need to bleach his eyes for the rest of his pathetic life.

Yugyeom is straddling Youngjae, and they’re making out. Jackson makes a noise that one would make before hurling, and they pull away from each other. 

“Look, I’m happy for you and all, but please don’t play tonsil hockey right before we eat. I don’t want to lose my fucking appetite.”

“Sorry, hyung,” Yugyeom shyly repies. How he can go from dominating sly maknae to shy maknae is beyond Jackson’s comprehension, so he ignores it. Bambam brings over the giant pot of kimchi jjigae and all those worries fade away.

“Time for dinner, kids!!”

“I’m coming, mom,” Mark yells from down the hall, turning off the music. Jackson scoffs and gets started eating already, piling rice into his bowl and licking his lips. He’s so excited.

“You’re going to enjoy this, my children. Dad whipped it all up. But listen, I cooked the chicken!!” 

Youngjae laughs, picking up his chopsticks and sitting next to Yugyeom.

“Enough of this, please, it’s disgusting. I didn’t think I’d be able to see another couple as married as Jinyoung and Jaebum are, but here you two are, being even more skin crawlingly gross as before,” Mark explains, popping a piece of kimchi between his lips.

Bambam laughs, pouring some of the broth on his rice. “What can we say, we’re the fill-in for your regularly scheduled program!”

Just then, Jinyoung walks in, hand in hand with Jaebum.

“Wow, Jaebum hyung! Fancy seeing you here!” Jackson exclaims sarcastically.

“Seems I came at the right time,” Jinyoung says, rubbing his hands together enthusiastically. “How’d they do, kids?”

“It’s really good, Jinyoung hyung! Come try some!” Youngjae says, covering his mouth with his hand.

“Well, if you insist,” Jinyoung says. He and Jaebum sit down. He pats Jackson on the shoulder and smiles. “Thanks for not fucking it up.”

Jackson furrows his brows, about to yell at Jinyoung, but Bambam stops him with a hand on his arm. Bambam shakes his head and motions towards Jackson’s rice bowl expectantly.

Jackson sighs. He could never say no to Bambam. So, he and the rest of the gang continue eating.

The pan is empty by the time the night is over.

[preciousmetals0]

No. 1 In Infections; Pot for Profit; Crapping Out in China

No. 1 In Infections; Pot for Profit; Crapping Out in China:

Friday Four Play: The “WE’RE NO. 1!” Edition

Are we having fun yet?

Thousand-point swings in the Dow used to send investors panicking and running through the streets. Now? Meh. Been there, done that.

This week, the Dow posted its biggest three-day gain since 1931. All the major financial publications crowed about it. “We’re back in a bull market!” many claimed.

I hope the irony of those two statements isn’t lost on you, dear reader. Yes, nothing inspires market confidence like the volatility of 1931!

If there’s one thing we can learn from the Great Depression, it’s that now is the perfect time to dump all your money back into speculative investments! Right?

Also, we can easily solve our unemployment problem by lining everyone up in bread lines and taking black-and-white photos of them. Just think of the revenue we’d make from Getty Images licensing alone!

Yes, I’m joking. Stick with gold, bonds and currencies as safe havens for now.

I get the feeling from my emails that some readers can’t tell when I’m making fun of a company (or situation) or when I’m serious.

Well … let’s get serious for a moment. The U.S. just claimed the title of the largest COVID-19 spread in the world. (We’re No. 1!)

There are more confirmed coronavirus infections in America now than in China, where the outbreak began. What’s worse is that there’s no sign that the spread is slowing stateside.

I maintain that we have not seen the bottom in the market yet … and we won’t see it until we get the full picture on how COVID-19 affects the U.S. economy. Until then … until Wall Street investors have all the facts … even the $2 trillion stimulus package won’t save the market.

What are your thoughts on the $2 trillion rescue bill? Great Stuff readers had a lot to say on the topic last week. Has your opinion changed? Email us at GreatStuffToday@banyanhill.com to let us know!

Finally, a reminder about U.S. government relief checks before we get to today’s hottest stories:

The government won’t ask you to pay anything upfront to get this money. No fees. No charges. No nothing.

The government won’t call to ask for your Social Security number, bank account or credit card number. Anyone who does this is a scammer.

These checks haven’t been approved yet. Anyone who tells you they can get you the money now is a scammer.

And now for something completely different … here’s your Friday Four Play:

No. 1: The Perfect Pot Pandemic

Marijuana may be closer to broad U.S. legalization than ever before, and it’s all thanks to the coronavirus.

The COVID-19 response is sapping state economies across the U.S., and that means budget shortfalls. The New York State Comptroller Thomas DiNapoli reported last week that the state might see revenue drop between $4 billion and $7 billion. That’s a lot of lost revenue.

To fill the massive hole that COVID-19 is creating in state budgets, DataTrek Research’s Jessica Rabe suggests that states could legalize recreational cannabis sales.

“If Colorado can raise +$300 million from recreational and medical marijuana sales in a year, New York can certainly earn over $1 billion as long as the state taxes and regulates adult-use sales reasonably,” said Rabe.

Rabe’s research makes sense, and investors already speculate that many states could move toward legalization to make up for budget shortfalls.

As a result, Canadian pot companies Tilray Inc. (Nasdaq: TLRY) and Aurora Cannabis Inc. (NYSE: ACB) — both of which supply medical marijuana to the U.S. — posted big rallies today. U.S.-based Curaleaf Holdings Inc. (OTC: CURLF) was also in high demand.

No. 2: MGM Craps Out

MGM Resorts International (NYSE: MGM) was on fire in its last six rolls on the craps table. The stock had just won six days in a row, rallying more than 88%. Positive coronavirus news out of China (including Chinese retail locations reopening and the country’s slowing COVID-19 spread) provided positive sentiment for the gambling mecca.

Today, however, MGM rolled a seven … craps. Game over. New roller.

The company announced that, while all of its Macao, China, locations are now open, no one is coming. “Visitation remains at low levels,” MGM said. Group cancellations remain “very high,” and U.S. properties, which remain closed, have seen “substantial” operating losses in March.

MGM said that it doesn’t expect to see any improvement until more is known about the pandemic’s duration and severity.

MGM shares fell more than 5% today, and with continued uncertainty surrounding the coronavirus, more losses could be on the way.

No. 3: Game Stopped

Remember when GameStop Corp. (NYSE: GME) thought it was an “essential retailer”? Aah … those were the days. (Wait … was it only a week ago?)

This week, GameStop reported fourth-quarter earnings, and it went about how you’d expect. Revenue plummeted 25% year over year. Earnings came in at a mere $21 million. And yet, both figures topped Wall Street’s expectations. Must’ve been really low expectations…

GameStop also had a tidbit of other positive news: March sales actually rose 2% in the past three weeks.

“In fact, we’ve seen an increase in store and online traffic over the past few weeks. We remain committed to continue to meet those needs in a safe environment,” CEO George Sherman told investors on a conference call.

By George, maybe that’s because you deemed your stores “essential” and kept them open longer than you were supposed to? It’s not hard to see a rise in sales when every other store is closed, you know. And used game booklets make great toilet paper when you’re in a pinch … just saying.

Despite the upbeat report, GameStop announced that it will close more than 300 stores this year … after closing 321 stores last year. How’s that for “essential?”

Furthermore, the company said it plans to “Enhance GameInformer asset with interactive digital media.” GameInformer is GameStop’s digital “magazine” of sorts, which saw two rounds of layoffs last year. GameStop didn’t go into further details on its enhancement plans.

If this all sounds rather questionable to you, you’re not alone. After soaring nearly 13% premarket, GME shares dropped roughly 2% in regular trading. Investors can see the writing on the wall for GameStop.

No. 4: Breathe Into Here, Sir.

“Tell me again how we can use bomb-sniffing tech to identify COVID-19 infections!”

Yes, you read that right. Researchers adapted technology that’s typically used to sniff out bombs to test for the coronavirus. And you thought you’d never willingly agree to a Breathalyzer test!

The company is Astrotech Corp. (Nasdaq: ASTC), and the product is the BreathTest-1000. While both the company and product names sound like they’re out of The Jetsons, they’re both very real. (Ruh roh, Reorge!)

According to Astrotech, the BreathTest-1000 is “ideal for lung disease testing applications” and could be used to test for COVID-19, pneumonia and other lung infections. The device is still pending approval, but since it’s based on existing bomb-sniffing tech, Astrotech believes that it’ll need very few changes before it’s commercially available.

As the COVID-19 pandemic drags on, this technology could be a game changer. ASTC shares soared more than 240% this week.

Great Stuff: On Stocks, Cats and Toilet Paper

So, Mr. Great Stuff, let me get this straight. We haven’t hit bottom, and it’s too early to get speculative. What in the world am I supposed to do?

What I need you to know right this very second is this: Now is the time to be smart about your investments.

Why? Because almost no one else is!

We’re whipsawing 1,000 points every other day, and Great Stuff is making Great Depression jokes. It’s madness!

But, by following an experienced guide, you will make it through this. This too shall pass.

Experts like Charles Mizrahi have seen this panic all before … on Black Monday in ’87, during the dot-com bubble and amid the ’08 financial crisis. Even in the worst of it all, Charles showed people how to protect and grow their money.

How does he do it? Easy. Just three simple rules. That’s all it takes.

Armed with these three simple rules, Charles sets out to sift the gems from dirt — no matter the market environment. So, before you decide to sell or buy a single stock, watch Charles’ video.

Charles personally went out of his way to record a video to walk you through all three of his easy-to-follow rules. As Charles says: “What you do in this current meltdown will make all the difference on what your net worth will be in the next five years.”

Click here now.

While you check out Charles’ urgent message, I’m off to make sure that one of my cats hasn’t destroyed any more toilet paper. I don’t think cats realize that even they can be TP … if you’re brave enough.

If you’re looking for some meme-y market entertainment while stuck in your house, Great Stuff has you covered. Just follow us on Facebook and Twitter!

Until next time, good trading!

Regards,

Joseph Hargett

Editor, Great Stuff

[goldira01]

Friday Four Play: The “WE’RE NO. 1!” Edition

Are we having fun yet?

Thousand-point swings in the Dow used to send investors panicking and running through the streets. Now? Meh. Been there, done that.

This week, the Dow posted its biggest three-day gain since 1931. All the major financial publications crowed about it. “We’re back in a bull market!” many claimed.

I hope the irony of those two statements isn’t lost on you, dear reader. Yes, nothing inspires market confidence like the volatility of 1931!

If there’s one thing we can learn from the Great Depression, it’s that now is the perfect time to dump all your money back into speculative investments! Right?

Also, we can easily solve our unemployment problem by lining everyone up in bread lines and taking black-and-white photos of them. Just think of the revenue we’d make from Getty Images licensing alone!

Yes, I’m joking. Stick with gold, bonds and currencies as safe havens for now.

I get the feeling from my emails that some readers can’t tell when I’m making fun of a company (or situation) or when I’m serious.

Well … let’s get serious for a moment. The U.S. just claimed the title of the largest COVID-19 spread in the world. (We’re No. 1!)

There are more confirmed coronavirus infections in America now than in China, where the outbreak began. What’s worse is that there’s no sign that the spread is slowing stateside.

I maintain that we have not seen the bottom in the market yet … and we won’t see it until we get the full picture on how COVID-19 affects the U.S. economy. Until then … until Wall Street investors have all the facts … even the $2 trillion stimulus package won’t save the market.

What are your thoughts on the $2 trillion rescue bill? Great Stuff readers had a lot to say on the topic last week. Has your opinion changed? Email us at GreatStuffToday@banyanhill.com to let us know!

Finally, a reminder about U.S. government relief checks before we get to today’s hottest stories:

The government won’t ask you to pay anything upfront to get this money. No fees. No charges. No nothing.

The government won’t call to ask for your Social Security number, bank account or credit card number. Anyone who does this is a scammer.

These checks haven’t been approved yet. Anyone who tells you they can get you the money now is a scammer.

And now for something completely different … here’s your Friday Four Play:

No. 1: The Perfect Pot Pandemic

Marijuana may be closer to broad U.S. legalization than ever before, and it’s all thanks to the coronavirus.

The COVID-19 response is sapping state economies across the U.S., and that means budget shortfalls. The New York State Comptroller Thomas DiNapoli reported last week that the state might see revenue drop between $4 billion and $7 billion. That’s a lot of lost revenue.

To fill the massive hole that COVID-19 is creating in state budgets, DataTrek Research’s Jessica Rabe suggests that states could legalize recreational cannabis sales.

“If Colorado can raise +$300 million from recreational and medical marijuana sales in a year, New York can certainly earn over $1 billion as long as the state taxes and regulates adult-use sales reasonably,” said Rabe.

Rabe’s research makes sense, and investors already speculate that many states could move toward legalization to make up for budget shortfalls.

As a result, Canadian pot companies Tilray Inc. (Nasdaq: TLRY) and Aurora Cannabis Inc. (NYSE: ACB) — both of which supply medical marijuana to the U.S. — posted big rallies today. U.S.-based Curaleaf Holdings Inc. (OTC: CURLF) was also in high demand.

No. 2: MGM Craps Out

MGM Resorts International (NYSE: MGM) was on fire in its last six rolls on the craps table. The stock had just won six days in a row, rallying more than 88%. Positive coronavirus news out of China (including Chinese retail locations reopening and the country’s slowing COVID-19 spread) provided positive sentiment for the gambling mecca.

Today, however, MGM rolled a seven … craps. Game over. New roller.

The company announced that, while all of its Macao, China, locations are now open, no one is coming. “Visitation remains at low levels,” MGM said. Group cancellations remain “very high,” and U.S. properties, which remain closed, have seen “substantial” operating losses in March.

MGM said that it doesn’t expect to see any improvement until more is known about the pandemic’s duration and severity.

MGM shares fell more than 5% today, and with continued uncertainty surrounding the coronavirus, more losses could be on the way.

No. 3: Game Stopped

Remember when GameStop Corp. (NYSE: GME) thought it was an “essential retailer”? Aah … those were the days. (Wait … was it only a week ago?)

This week, GameStop reported fourth-quarter earnings, and it went about how you’d expect. Revenue plummeted 25% year over year. Earnings came in at a mere $21 million. And yet, both figures topped Wall Street’s expectations. Must’ve been really low expectations…

GameStop also had a tidbit of other positive news: March sales actually rose 2% in the past three weeks.

“In fact, we’ve seen an increase in store and online traffic over the past few weeks. We remain committed to continue to meet those needs in a safe environment,” CEO George Sherman told investors on a conference call.

By George, maybe that’s because you deemed your stores “essential” and kept them open longer than you were supposed to? It’s not hard to see a rise in sales when every other store is closed, you know. And used game booklets make great toilet paper when you’re in a pinch … just saying.

Despite the upbeat report, GameStop announced that it will close more than 300 stores this year … after closing 321 stores last year. How’s that for “essential?”

Furthermore, the company said it plans to “Enhance GameInformer asset with interactive digital media.” GameInformer is GameStop’s digital “magazine” of sorts, which saw two rounds of layoffs last year. GameStop didn’t go into further details on its enhancement plans.

If this all sounds rather questionable to you, you’re not alone. After soaring nearly 13% premarket, GME shares dropped roughly 2% in regular trading. Investors can see the writing on the wall for GameStop.

No. 4: Breathe Into Here, Sir.

“Tell me again how we can use bomb-sniffing tech to identify COVID-19 infections!”

Yes, you read that right. Researchers adapted technology that’s typically used to sniff out bombs to test for the coronavirus. And you thought you’d never willingly agree to a Breathalyzer test!

The company is Astrotech Corp. (Nasdaq: ASTC), and the product is the BreathTest-1000. While both the company and product names sound like they’re out of The Jetsons, they’re both very real. (Ruh roh, Reorge!)

According to Astrotech, the BreathTest-1000 is “ideal for lung disease testing applications” and could be used to test for COVID-19, pneumonia and other lung infections. The device is still pending approval, but since it’s based on existing bomb-sniffing tech, Astrotech believes that it’ll need very few changes before it’s commercially available.

As the COVID-19 pandemic drags on, this technology could be a game changer. ASTC shares soared more than 240% this week.

Great Stuff: On Stocks, Cats and Toilet Paper

So, Mr. Great Stuff, let me get this straight. We haven’t hit bottom, and it’s too early to get speculative. What in the world am I supposed to do?

What I need you to know right this very second is this: Now is the time to be smart about your investments.

Why? Because almost no one else is!

We’re whipsawing 1,000 points every other day, and Great Stuff is making Great Depression jokes. It’s madness!

But, by following an experienced guide, you will make it through this. This too shall pass.

Experts like Charles Mizrahi have seen this panic all before … on Black Monday in ’87, during the dot-com bubble and amid the ’08 financial crisis. Even in the worst of it all, Charles showed people how to protect and grow their money.

How does he do it? Easy. Just three simple rules. That’s all it takes.

Armed with these three simple rules, Charles sets out to sift the gems from dirt — no matter the market environment. So, before you decide to sell or buy a single stock, watch Charles’ video.

Charles personally went out of his way to record a video to walk you through all three of his easy-to-follow rules. As Charles says: “What you do in this current meltdown will make all the difference on what your net worth will be in the next five years.”

Click here now.

While you check out Charles’ urgent message, I’m off to make sure that one of my cats hasn’t destroyed any more toilet paper. I don’t think cats realize that even they can be TP … if you’re brave enough.

If you’re looking for some meme-y market entertainment while stuck in your house, Great Stuff has you covered. Just follow us on Facebook and Twitter!

Until next time, good trading!

Regards,

Joseph Hargett

Editor, Great Stuff

[sayitaintdoe]

when i wake up, i’m not wearing a shirt — this isn’t some rare occurrence, and it’s hardly the point, but i’m not wearing a shirt, and i’m not in my bed, and i’m alone.

i reach around for my phone on the nightstand next to me, seeing that it’s 11:42 a.m., and when i stretch my feet out underneath the sheets and blankets, reaching to the empty side of the bed, the sheets beneath my feet are cold.

sitting up, i drop my phone back to the nightstand, standing up and parading myself around preston’s room for a moment or two (okay, three, because i do make a pitstop to admire myself and the newfound little trail of marks down my neck in the mirror for a moment) before grabbing the nearest shirt — an old faded yellow one of his, draped over his desk chair, and tugging it over my head.  it falls somewhere past my thighs, and i decide that’s as good as it’s going to get before i’m out his door and into his apartment, in search of him or any other signs of life.

who i find is brady barton, sitting at the kitchen counter, shoveling a spoonful of cereal into his mouth.

“thought it was too quiet around here,” he observes, but it comes out more like, “fough if fuz oo qui rou he.”

i slide up next to him at the counter, snagging his spoon out of his hand and stealing a bite of my own.  “always a thrill to see you, darling,” i point out.  “what have i missed?  where’s the dreamboat?”

“stevie’s helping joy out with something.”

“where’s the second dreamboat?”

“you’re looking at him!”

“the bronze dreamboat?”

“he left a couple hours ago, pris had some emergency and called to see if he’d come over.  probably payback for bailing on family dinner last week.”

i’d forgotten about the fact that after preston’s parents had separated, they had still insisted on doing a family dinner every other sunday night.  i’d been next to him at the table for far too many of them, and it was one of the most bizarro experiences ever, considering his parents wanted to rip each other’s throats out half the time but always acted like that was never the case.  somehow, one visit around the ol’ raimi dinner table would make them look like the perfect nuclear family once again.

it didn’t work.  it was one of those mosaic images that only looked all right if you were far enough away.  once you were close enough, you saw that the images were really more of standalone than they were anything else.  or maybe cher horowitz said it best — they were a monet.  a full on mess.

“so, just you and me, bud?”

“just you and me, kid.”

i’ve known brady for a long time.  like, a long time.  that’s the thing about having a best friend like preston pretty much superglued to your side at all times — there is never a period of time where one of you knows someone that the other doesn’t.  and even when they do know someone that you don’t, you get introduced pretty early on.  you’re always in the circle together.

brady and stevie had known each other since they were in elementary school, and they’d only been in our lives since brady answered preston’s desperate (read: desperate) ad — on craigslist, no less — for a roommate after freshman year ended.  stevie was part of the package deal, but he wasn’t ready for the commitment of living with brady.  stevie moved in with joy, our circle got a little wider, and it was sort of like they’d been there the whole time.

and yet, even with all of that?  i don’t know if i’ve really spent that much time alone with just brady.  just the two of us.  like, i took him to a couple doctor’s appointments when stevie was having a panic attack and brady made preston stay behind with him, but that was basically just me sitting in a waiting room showing him memes on my phone to pass the time and wincing every time i heard him wheeze when he laughed.

but, here we are.  trying not to sit in an uncomfortable silence at his kitchen counter, and probably failing at exactly that.

“so,” i breathe out at the same time that brady says it.  and then we both laugh.  i want to drown in the leftover cereal milk.

thankfully, he keeps going.  normally at this point, i’d be forcing him to play never have i ever just to fill the silence, but brady has taken charge of the conversation.  “what’s the deal with you and p?”

honestly, i should have seen it coming.

and i should have prepared an answer.

how do i not have an answer?

why don’t i have an answer?

is there an answer?

i think back to last night, and the night before last night, and how we haven’t come up for air for days, like somehow new life has been bore into our lungs and suddenly, it’s just the two of us existing inside of each other.  it feels right, that’s the thing.  it feels like this is the way it’s supposed to be.

so, why doesn’t it feel done?  isn’t this where it stops?  where we say, “okay, charade’s over, maybe we’re taking a whack at it, everyone go home now” and pack it all in?

i know cait is still texting him, and i know there’s a little green monster that lives inside my brain and sometimes she wants to control the situation and flip all my switches and take charge and send texts for me because she doesn’t think i’m handling anything the way i’m supposed to.

and i know he wouldn’t talk to her if i asked him to.

and i know i could prevent this whole thing.

and i know that some part of me…

a knot balls up in my stomach, and i’m tapping the tip of brady’s spoon against the counter mindlessly until he grabs it away from me.  “it’s gonna get soggy,” he mutters, more to himself than to me, but i don’t hear him, not really.

…some part of me is ready to prevent it.  ready to call it.  ready to grow up.

“what happens now?” i ask, and i don’t even think brady knows what i’m talking about.  he can’t, really, because isn’t this an act?  and they know that, right?  because that’s what this has been the whole time.  every time i squished his cheeks before a date, every time we kissed for an instagram post.  it was all one big game of pretend, and they were all the fools who watched it happen.  and they don’t know they got played.

last night, nate texted me and asked if i’d dumped preston yet, and i’d left him on read.  i didn’t plan on responding.  i don’t plan on responding.  because preston was right when he said that nate never loved me, and i didn’t text nate because i wanted nate to take me back or because i wanted to take him back.  i reached out to nate because i wanted preston to feel it the way i felt it every time cait looked at him across the room and he met her gaze.

so, yeah.  brady shouldn’t get what i’m talking about.  and yet, he shifts to look at me with a sort of intensity i’m not used to seeing, as if this isn’t the same guy who just yesterday morning was playing playstation vr in a faded goof troop t-shirt so intensely that he chucked an open bottle of gatorade across the living room.  

“i think… i know a few really, really good people.  stevie’s the best one, and then there’s preston.  and there’s joy, and there’s teddy, and there’s—”

“—me,”

he doesn’t reply right away.  “i once watched you shove a kid out of the way because you wanted to get to the front of the line during a black friday sale, so.  there’s stevie and there’s preston and there’s joy and there’s—”

i clear my throat for him to continue.

“my point is, preston is one of the best dudes i know.  and i know that you know that, because you guys have… a really weird relationship, but it’s a real one.  it’s something that i don’t think i’d probably ever grasp, and i know that if i ever said one shitty thing about you, i’d probably have to find somewhere else to sleep for a couple nights — I’M NOT SAYING THAT I HAVE ANYTHING BAD TO SAY, DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT.  i just don’t want to see him get hurt.”

the knot in my stomach, which has been present for what feels like months at this point, tightens into a bowling ball.  “you think i’d hurt him.”

“not on purpose,” he says quickly.  “i just… sometimes not doing something hurts more than actually doing something.”  he waves his hand in front of his face.  “this isn’t coming out very good, i’m just.  i think he really loves you, doe.  okay?  i think he loves you.”

i could throw up on the counter.

“i know he does.  i mean, he hasn’t told me, but he doesn’t need to.  you’re not stupid, you know he doesn’t need to.  you know he loves you.  you know you probably love him, too.  you don’t want cait to have him, you totally sabotaged whatever was going on with that girl from col—”

“—that’s not true, she was an absolute tim burton-worthy nightmare and he was lucky to get rid of her, and we all know it.  she probably had a voodoo doll of me in her closet, brady.”

“because you’re you.  because nobody can compete with you.  because if he had to choose between the world or you, we’d all be fucked.”

i stare down at the countertop so hard i wonder if i could burn a hole through it, i feel like i could.  i feel like if i focused long enough, it could happen.  but brady?  brady just keeps fucking talking.  “you love him, doe.  i think… whatever you guys have been doing this past month?  because it was really weird, by the way — i think you know that if you had to pick between nate just one more line of coke, i swear saunders or preston?  you’d pick preston.”

my hands twist in front of me, eyes squeezing shut for a second.  “i’m not… i don’t think… i’m not really cut out for, like.  that.  i don’t think either of us are, and i’m pretty sure that’s been our whole point since day one, you know?  that we didn’t want to do that.  we didn’t want a relationship, or some fucking picket fence or anything.”

i think back to what preston said, we could be together and not get married.

we could be together and not get married.

we could be together.

he meant that, didn’t he?

together.  not for show.  not for kicks.  not to thwart off mipsy from pilates.  just together.

“and you think that’s what preston wants out of you?  you think you’re gonna decide to actually give a shit about each other and suddenly he’s gonna expect to come home to you baking him pies and popping out three kids in a row?  can you imagine what those kids would go through?  doe.  this is you and preston.  i don’t think anything would change.”

and, see, that’s where i think he’s wrong.

i’m pretty sure everything would.

i’m pretty sure it already has.