#i was miserable for 10 years trying to pick One and a year ago I said fuck to all that

[chatlote]

Goro Akechi in (some) of my dif art styles!

[chericherrybaby]

I’LL PICK YOU UP ON THE WAY HOME

Summary, Jealous ex-boyfriend, Harry picks you up from a party after a last choice call was made from you.

Warnings, Jealous Harry?

This is so many words and not much dialogue. Enjoy the first of many!!

…

Harry was an ex you hadn’t spoken to in almost two years.

He was someone you had loved very much at the time, he was just a little bit too protective over you at the time, which is not what you had wanted as a 21 year old girl who’s friends loved a party.

You had never ridded his contact of your phone, it felt strange since he had been the first number to go in it after you had gotten it with him. Plus, he had never done anything wrong and you felt slightly bad for ending things the way you did.

You hadn’t been together that long at the time, you had told yourself hundreds of times, trying to rid the guilt you had whenever one of your girlfriends would tell you how miserable he was.

It was terrible that one of your girlfriends was dating his best friend, and you were a main source of topic for their entertainment.

You had thought about calling him as soon as your date had pulled up to the house, you could hear the music booming atleast 4 streets away and the place looked crammed with 17 year olds, a weird place for a 25 year old to take you on a first date.

He had led you inside the house, letting you follow his heels, greeting almost everyone that was in his path.

Your first red flag was a girl coming up to your date, who was unfortunately named Chad, you’d heard it all from your girlfriends already, and him hugging her with his hands a bit too close to somewhere they shouldn’t be.

This had made you pull your phone out, scroll down to the very bottom of your contacts and send a quick message to someone who may not even answer you, you’d been so lucky he hadn’t blocked you already and you were so grateful.

You sent a quick “hey” and hoped the recipient didn’t hate you as much as you hated yourself for texting him.

…

About an hour later, the party felt a bit dull compared to when you had arrived, everyone feeling lulled on the couch from everything they had drank, smoked and consumed in many other ways.

Including your date.

You had never been happier to feel your phone ringing in your back pocket and feel the excitement yet dread when your screen read “Harry Styles”

“Hello” you said sounding a little ashamed, making your way to sit on the front porch away from the booming music and the yelling of party goers who were still feeling their high.

“Hey” he replied sounding a little too groggy for you liking, like he’d woken and immediately called you “Why’d you text me? Thought you wanted nothing to do with me”

You felt your heart pang a little at this, but you could feel the hurt in his voice also “I’m at a party with a bunch of high schoolers. I need an escape”

“Gonna need more than that to get me going Y/N” he’d never sounded so irritated to you, but you also understood. The first time you’d texted him in almost two years was for an excuse to leave a party.

“Please come get me, i’ve basically been ditched and none of the girls know i’m here” You sighed feeling so ashamed you were doing this”

Harry ended the call. You waited, hoping he was still the sweet boy you had met 5 years ago.

…

10 minutes later, Harry’s car pulled up outside of the house. You jumped to your feet, jogged over to the car and placed yourself in his passenger seat

“Thank you so much Harry” you looked at him, your eyes pleading for his to meet yours.

He hummed in acknowledgment.

You sat in silence for 5 minutes while Harry drove in the direction opposite of your apartment, He came to a stop when he came to a quieter road with houses all using dimmed lights. He turned the car off and placed his hands in his lap.

“What are we-”

“Why have you done this to me Y/N? You know i’m still so utterly in love with you. So you text me at 11pm a shitty message saying ‘hey’”

“In my defence you’re the one who called me, you could’ve ignored my message and blocked me, you can’t blame me for your lack of self control”

You heard harry chuckle quietly to himself, that’s when you realised you’d said something that maybe you shouldn’t have.

“What are you even doing at a party full of children, you’re 23 Y/N” Harry finally looked at your face, your red cheeks prominent and wasted makeup.

His heart broke knowing after he dropped you home, you were gone again and there was nothing he could do about it.

“I was supposed to be on a first date, but instead he drove us to a high schoolers party. Basically touched up a girl right infront of my face, then got pissed and probably even high while letting me fend for myself when these are people he knows”

Harry slightly laughs to himself, but tires to cover it up by slapping his hand over his mouth. “You sure know how to pick ‘em”

“Picked you. You’re alright” You remarked back and Harry’s head quickly snapped back up to you and slightly glared at you “Sorry, that was really mean”

“I really fucking hate when you go on dates, y’know. Makes me so cross knowing ‘yer going out with all these shit guys when i’m right infront of you”

It’s like he was on his knees begging, pleading for you to love him. Tearing his heart out of his chest ready to give to you.

“You’ve always been such a jealous prick” You smirked at him and he couldn’t help his lips curling up into a smile.

“Hard not to be, look at you. You’re insane and i had my chance and fucked it with you, Cause i was scared to lose something i wanted forever”

You sighed and reached over to place your hand on top of his, he flinched away slightly. You curled your fingers around his hand and held it tightly.

“I love you” You admitted shamefully “It never went anywhere and i think i may just be slightly ashamed that i ended something so good just for what? To get drunk and dance around at a party full of strangers. When i had you waiting for me with open arms no matter the time i came back”

Harry shifted in his seat and moved towards the centre console of his car, you kicked your shoes off and sat cross legged on his passenger seat. Turning towards him, being able to see his face fully.

“You infuriate me, you know that don’t you” He says moving closer, close enough you could feel his breath of your face.

Swearing you could heart his heart beating out of his chest.

“Can you please” You thought for a second, were you making the right decision? Telling him you wanted him all over again, when you feared you may be slightly high from all the fumes in that house party.

Harry hummed gently “What would you like, Angel? Anything for you. I swear” His eyes flicked down towards your lips but quickly returned to your eyes.

“Kiss me” you practically begged him.

His lips crashed onto yours, his hands finding your jaw and cupping your cheeks while you sat in, what felt like an isolated area.

Kissing a man that you thought was just madly possessive over you, instead he just wanted the world for you, and you were the world to him.

[nevieatiny]

Mrs. Park?

Seonghwa x reader

Summary: Maybe there were different ways to help your boyfriend get a refund, but calling him your "husband" made it sound more dramatic, right?

Word count: 1,449

Genre: Pure fluff

You loved your boyfriend more than anything in the world, you really did, however, something that you hated and you mean HATED about him was that sometimes he was way too nice and struggled to speak up for himself.

You've been doing a lot of christmas shopping recently, and because of that he choose the wrong size when he picked a sweater for his mom, he made you promise you would not intervine this time because he was a "grown man who's able to do a refund by himself" so you did try to look around the store in the mean time, however not even the toy section was able to distract you from that feeling of something going wrong or someone being rude to your boyfriend.

you've worked in customer service for several years, you knew all it took was being nice, but at the same time there was people who just hated being there and would mistreat customers just to make them leave, it was ok if someone did that to you, you knew how to defend yourself and speak up, but some people don't.

So after 15 minutes of your boyfriend not coming back you're heading to see how he's doing at the customer service counter, as you approached the only thing you saw was your poor boyfriend tapping his fingers anxiously against the counter, he was all by himself you assumed he was waiting for the customer service rep.

"Before you shush me away" you said as you were approaching him "i just want to see how you're doing so far, i see that no one's here, so i'm guessing great" you patted his but few times before leaning on him, you were waiting for a lame comeback, but all he did was to lean his head on top of yours and let out a long sigh "how do you do this?" "was it that bad?" that's when he took his phone out looking at the time "she's been gone for more than 10 minutes", you didn't knew how to feel, at first you felt bad for him, he seemed almost sad about it, but after that it was pure rage, why would they do that, you get that christmas and new year could be the toughest time of the year for anyone on customer service, it was 11 am but the place was literally empty.

"Do you want me to take over?" you asked while running your fingers through his hair "i really thought i could do this by myself this time" "yeah but to be fair you choose to do this before christmas, everyone is miserable by now and they just want to go home, most likely they would have to work during christmas, that's not an excuse tho" as you were talking to him you saw a young girl approaching, she might not even be 20, she had a frown on her face and rolled her eyes when she saw you, and at that moment you knew what you were dealing with.

"theres nothing we can you because you bought this 2 weeks ago" she threw the sweater and the receipt on the counter not even looking at you, and before your boyfriend took the clothing piece (most likely as a defeat to just leave right after) you spoke "that literally does not make any sense, when we bought that they said we had a month to get a refund if we keep the receipt" she looked at you for a few seconds before trying to respond before you cut her off "you made my husband wait for 10 minutes just to come up with a stupid excuse to make him leave" Seonghwa looked at you with a surprised expression, he knew what you were doing, but that didn't stopped his heart from beating faster and faster, he took a deep breath to calm himself while he pretended to straighten his clothes with his hands, for a moment he looked down at your hand and he thought about grabbing it, but then he remembered you were kinda busy trying to do what he was not able to.

Maybe you were raising your voice too much because a few seconds later an older man dressed in a expensive suit joined her behind the counter "'I'm sorry ma'am, how can i help you today?" this time your boyfriend spoke behind you, giving him the garment "i'm just trying to get a refund, i choose the wrong size" you knew Seonghwa usually avoided conflicts, but the fact that she let him just waiting like a fool standing there just fueled you anger "My husband kindly came here asking for a refund and your employee left him here waiting for 10 minutes, she went i don't know were and came back with a lame excuse to make him leave, this is unacceptable, do you let your employees treat people like that?, what if he was an elder who had no idea what to do just trying to get a gift for his loved ones?" that's when you felt Seonghwa's hand on your waist gently bringing you closer to him "I'm so sorry to hear that ma'am, and i do apologize for the inconvenience" at this point the girl was standing beside him with her arms crossed "maybe she meant to say that we can give you a refund or you can choose the right size of the same sweater you choose before" he just looked back at the girl with a forced smile, hoping she would not make the situation worst, when she didn't respond you just looked back at him "don't worry, you don't have to apologize, but it's up to my husband" the man behind you passed the last 5 minutes daydreaming, he already had a venue in mind, he was thinking whether the cake should be a classic white cake or maybe he would ask you to let him have a Star Wars themed cake, after that you could go to New Zealand as you've always planned for your honeymoon, or maybe Paris?, no, you've always wanted to go to New Zealand, and since he is for sure insisting on the Star Wars themed wedding that's the least he can do for you, or maybe a lego cake? that would be new, his friends would definitely envy him for that.

"Babe" That's when he realized the three of you were looking at him so you had to repeat the question for him "i think we can pick the right size this time" "of course Sir, that's a great idea, we can wrap it as gift for you as well" the older man looked at the girl this time and asked her to go and get the sweater for you, he didn't had to but when she rolled her eyes you decided she could use a few extra steps "Can you show me your ID to process it on the system please Sir?" your boyfriend seemed off, in the clumsiest way possible he took out his wallet to show his id.

After just a few minutes the employee gave you the gift wrapped up and ready along with your receipt "Again i'm so sorry for the inconvenience Mr. and Mrs. Park, and happy holidays" your boyfriend took the gift and quietly bowed at them before wishing them happy holidays as well, at this point the "Husband" thing was long forgotten to you, but as the two of you walked out of the store you saw your boyfriend looking at the gift as if it was the most interesting thing in the world "you ok?" there were a few seconds of silence before he spoke " I've always feared that you would beat me up to ask you to marry me, but i never thought you would do it in a department store" that's when it hit you, you didn't even asked him if it was ok "i'm sorry if that made you feel uncomfortable, i just thought it sounded more serious, i think i got carried away" "it's okay, you look hot when you're mad" even after developing the ability of have a verbal fight without crying and thinking that you were in control of your emotions this man never failed to make you a blushing mess with the most simple things "aawww, are you blushing right now Mrs Park?" you looked at him clearly not knowing how to react, smiling and frowning at the same time, this action only made Seonghwa kiss you in the middle of the hallway "keep teasing me and next time you would have to call the pizza restaurant yourself"

[delicrieux]

…TAKING WHAT’S NOT YOURS ! ⋆｡°✩

⋆⭒˚.⋆ chapter summary. spending a week taking care of fushiguro... how bad could that be?

pairing. gojo satoru x f!sorcerer reader warnings for this chapter. swearing wc. 5.2k author’s note. in this story, we use first names in text when reader feels emotionally connected to the person xoxo and that's on stylistics

ੈ ✩‧₊˚

masterlist | buy me coffee☕ | twny masterlist | < back | next >

CHAPTER 10: fushiguro megumi's week-long suspension

“i can’t believe it has come to this…” you utter, squint, and try seeing past the unrelenting glare of the july sun. gojo, always nearby, kicks a pebble, looking much more like an elementary kid rather than the one you are going to pick up.

moody, blushing, shoulders slouched and head hung; he says nothing because he tried saying something five minutes ago when you repeated yourself, but a sharp look and a displeased pinch of your lips made him promptly shut up. where was this deference when he was making your life a living hell while you begged him to leave you alone? at this point, you might tell him to jump and he’d land on pluto, if only you weren’t glaring at him anymore.

you shake your head and tut, “absolutely unbelievable.”

“oh god, please, spare me,” he grumbles, shoving a hand out of his pocket only to offer it to you.

you examine it. unappealing, “sweaty.”

the way he instantly scowls at you could be adorable, if you weren’t so irked. your bingo list for the summer, or ever, really, didn’t include attending a parent-teacher conference about an unruly seven year old that’s not even yours. fushiguro megumi keeps breaking toys and beating up his classmates – detention, teacher’s notes (which gojo did not read), extra homework, and a one on one with the parent (which gojo did not attend) did not work. a public trial is all that’s left, and even this would have slipped through gojo’s fingers. the notice arrived a week ago, but gojo neglected to check his email, and he missed the whole of 5 calls before yaga-sensei was informed of his outstanding failure as fushiguro’s legal guardian.

you shake your head again, almost closing your eyes – it’s too bright and too hot, and you think you hear the sidewalk sizzling, and maybe this is one of those days you shouldn’t be outside at all, “still can’t believe it…”

you wouldn’t be doing your duty as a concerned citizen if you weren’t even attempting to guilt-trip him into oblivion. you had plans today anyway, namely melting into your mattress or heaving by the conditioner, but he has ruined them all by asking you to come along. why didn’t you just say no? maybe because he looked especially miserable.

maybe because…

*

"here, give me that," your fingers curl over his tie, straightening the knot and smoothing it out. the inside of fushiguro’s school is thankfully cool, "is this really necessary though?"

"how do i look?"

"well...good?" your answer doesn't satisfy him much because he reaches for his hair and runs a hand, as if that will do him any favors. it doesn't. you wince and adjust the strands.

"like a respectable adult?" he is still wearing his shades, a necessary evil in the afternoon sun, even within these pale walls.

"that's a stretch."

he frowns, "not helping. the hell, i dressed nicely and everything,"

"not sure how a tie and an untucked shirt is 'nice' exactly, but okay,"

"you are so bossy," gojo has a small, pitiable expression on his face, and he's got it bad. he'd better; there's a ton of disgruntled parents lining the corridor of the conference room, and though this doesn't involve you in the least, they stare a little too hard as if you're the problem. you find you can't meet anyone's gaze directly.

"anyway," you squeeze his forearm, which feels nice – soft, his muscles yielding under the fabric – "keep it together,"

he doesn't, really, "this blows.”

"will you keep it together?"

"you're going in with me," his knuckles rap a rapid, anxious beat over his knee. he is seated and not happy, and you can't help noticing how big he is compared to the other men milling in the room, but most of all, how stupid and incompetent. it makes your heart patter in your chest.

"didn't agree to that. why do i have to?"

"because," he glares, "i'll tell them you're the mom."

he's lost it. your arms cross and your brow flattens. you take a few seconds to regard him before giving your answer.

"satoru, don’t they know you're, like, a step-dad?"

"i'm the dad that stepped up."

"seriously?"

"technicality."

"you pay the utility bills," you whisper back, annoyed.

"i'll tell them it's your biological child if you don't go in with me," he threatens.

the tips of his ears have turned a telltale pink, and even he notices, ducking his head and leaning further against the wall. when his leg won't stop bobbing, and he keeps the nervous tapping going, your heart sinks, "satoru," he really has you hook, line, and sinker, because you falter faced with his obvious distress. you didn't expect him to be this nervous, since he's always so carefree, "you..." he looks so very uncomfortable and unhappy in his white button up, which is a bit crumped, mind you, "oh, what the hell. fine."

"thank god."

the faculty makes an appearance, but not one person recognizes him. a brief discussion and introductions later, the room is emptied save the offended parents, the teacher, you, and gojo.

adults can be scary, but your job involves cursed spirits, and those are much scarier than a disgruntled salaryman will ever be.

what is more terrifying than a cursed spirit or a perturbed father trying to lynch gojo with his glare is a scorned mother. you try to not shrink into yourself as she points an accusing finger, as if you've committed the crime alongside fushiguro, "explain yourselves! what kind of parenting is this!?"

if you were sweating before, well, now you're really sweating. you and gojo share a quick, worried glance before the faculty intervenes to give an account of fushiguro. she must have some kind of hearing impairment because she yells, "young parents these days, treating their children so dismissively!"

it would be highly unadvisable and probably a very bad idea to mention the circumstances by which gojo is legally fushiguro's ward, or the fact that he's neither your biological son nor your son at all, and luckily, gojo is smart enough not to disclose any of that. no, what he says is so much worse, "i can assure you that we provide all the attention and care in the world for our son!"

it takes your mind a second to fully comprehend that, yes, he has, in fact, said 'we' and 'son' in the same sentence, and then his hand comes to clutch and yank you painfully over so that you're sitting half on the edge of his chair, "tell her!"

and the room falls deadly quiet for a few moments, which you use wisely to consider: first, kicking gojo right where it counts, and second, bolting for the nearest exit.

the silence is stifling, "err... yes, we take care of him."

"are you even out of college?!" the woman is flaring red with anger.

this isn't exactly your proudest moment, or his, and you can feel your legs shake, and how is it possible that gojo's arm, slung around your waist, is steady and strong, "we're not, but we're, we’re doing the best we can."

when the hell did you become so willing to dive into danger for a man? you'd never met such a troublemaker, and yet, here you are, listening to gojo tell the concerned parent in a voice far more confident than it had been just seconds ago, "you need not concern yourself, ma'am. we take care of megumi every single day and provide a nurturing, homey, and responsible environment for him. and we also love him very much. he and his sister. which we love. right, dear?"

and that’s your cue, “yes. my children. very well behaved.”

"he broke my son's nose!"

"did he deserve it?" gojo quips.

"no!"

he sighs. you eye the door longingly.

"i'll pay the medical bills."

*

the heat's less severe when you leave. a suspension.

with fushiguro safe and collected from his classes, the three of you stroll back to jujutsu technical. gojo lets him lead and you lag, half embarrassed, a third disinterested, and two thirds disheartened that you're now seriously involved with someone like gojo satoru, that this is your life. god, that whole experience was so bad, and his word vomit was the cherry on the shittiest cake you've had in a long time.

you are still, quite frankly, mortified. you know that gojo was talking out of his ass because explaining the real situation would actually make it look even worse than a case of young and stupid parents, but it somehow unnerved you greatly.

this is none of your concern. or it shouldn't be, at the very least. but it's making you consider the distant future and wrangle with the question of – do you want to get married? do you want to have children? such a line of thinking is unacceptable for many reasons, namely that you don't, and you're young, and you'd rather not die with any false hopes in place, because it's likely you'll never reach past your mid-20s and be with someone you actually would want to start a family with.

the city is hazy and humid, the people around appear sluggish. a vendor sells a bunch of sweet watermelons by the street. gojo stops to buy some slices for the three of you, and fushiguro accepts his reluctantly.

then, he marches onward, gloomy as always.

"megumiiiin," and gojo is right on his tail, wiggling his fingers in what's supposed to be an invitation, "let's hold hands."

"no."

"come on, i got you a week-long vacation," he insists.

"it's a suspension!" you hiss, chewing.

gojo glances back. shrugs, "eh."

fushiguro drags his feet, his chin tucked into the front of his uniform's collar, black bangs shifting messily and sticking over his eyes, "m'not apologizing."

"don't, you got good aim," gojo says wisely.

fushiguro offers gojo nothing else to say. the awkward and mortifying experience is, for him, nonexistent. he doesn't know what happened behind those doors, and he shouldn't to preserve his innocence.

for the remainder of the walk, he trudges forward without uttering another word, or without once turning back. the way he's sulking and putting distance between you, however, makes the unpleasant feeling linger a bit longer than it should, though there's really nothing you can do.

once he's already making his way to his temporary lodging, you call out, "ne, megumi," and his footsteps cease immediately. he turns about and stares expectantly, "do you have any plans for tomorrow?"

"...no."

gojo watches you with sharp interest as you try not to bend under the pressure of both of their gazes, "well," you try, sounding a bit shy, "in that case, would you like to go shopping with me? i could use the company."

silence. the awkwardness from the earlier meeting hangs heavy, until fushiguro seems to recover and crosses his arms, mouth set a little firmly, "i have to finish my homework."

what a horrible excuse.

"we could visit the arcade and get slushies," you say, feeling a bit more confident since he seems to be cracking.

he narrows his eyes, considering his options. then, with a very pronounced scowl, "is he going?"

gojo perks, having been slouching listlessly with a grimace, "oh! me? sure, i'll be there," he even beams, the prick, while fushiguro gives him a deadpan stare.

"oh, no no," you try to rectify quickly, "satoru isn't going," and you jab your elbow into his side, sunny smile and all, "you're busy tomorrow, remember?"

gojo frowns. then he pouts. then, he looks annoyed. but finally, he looks away and says, "yeah, right. i am. totally forgot. so busy."

"figured," fushiguro hums, shrugs a little and says, "sure."

"awesome," you grin, feeling somehow very lucky, "it's a date!"

"not a date!" gojo declares.

fushiguro stomps through the door, his entire demeanor shifting entirely from apathetic to downright irritated, muttering, "you two are weird."

and then he's gone. the door creaks shut behind his small frame.

"it's a date?" gojo parrots, giving you a look.

"oh, don't be mad. it's just fun teasing him," you smile a little sheepishly, tugging him along to the direction of your dorm room.

he matches your pace, steps becoming slower. his arm is warm around your back.

*

“you don’t offer to hang out often,” coming from fushiguro, it sounds less of an observation and more like a thinly veiled accusation. you give pause.

true to your word, you have taken him to get slushies and some light shopping after a stop at the aquarium, which he enjoyed the most because it was quiet and the room felt never-ending.

for a kid, fushiguro is too perceptive, too grumpy, too. you hadn't expected that your presence could be missed, or even desired, since it was so rare to see him when he wasn’t on college grounds. with his sister still at summer camp, he doesn’t have anywhere else to stay. the two of them living alone with semi-regular visits from gojo is already wildly weird and unsafe, and leaving him by himself in the apartment was out of the question.

maybe you should have invited him earlier. he must be so lonely.

"mm. s'always busy with jujutsu studies," you tell him a bit shamefully.

a tic twitches underneath his eye. he finishes his cherry-red drink in two long gulps before taking you up the escalator to his favorite candy store.

you hold his palm. he grips tight but releases hastily as though embarrassed the second the mom and pops duo in their late fifties make a aaaw sound at you two. you almost throw your electric blue slushie at them – the workup to this very moment had been nothing short of arduous. the old man and woman look absolutely infatuated.

you will have to try to sneakily hold his hand again, under the pretenses of safety or whatever, even if you’re fairly certain fushiguro would beat up a kidnapper if it ever came down to it.

he dives straight for the large jar that has the 'bullet gums' printed on the container. he holds it up, and somehow, he's more of a little kid than the angry gremlin he usually is in gojo's presence. you have to battle with yourself to not fish out your phone and snap a million pictures.

"so cute..." you mutter under your breath.

you don't think it reaches his ears until his forehead wrinkles into an offended scowl, but he doesn't say anything as he goes on picking and tossing the good ones in his basket.

"how much money do you have?" fushiguro looks at your purse suspiciously.

you’re a bit affronted – maybe he and gojo do have a lot more in common than anyone would suspect, because this child has just called you poor.

"ehh, don't worry,” maybe you should be worried for the future generation and their manners, “satoru gave me his card, so you can buy anything you want.”

fushiguro scowls. he sets down the bulging bag on the floor beside him, and looks away from you, "...i don't want anything."

you blink and peer at the selection of items. it will likely be a hefty sum, but nothing too egregious. fushiguro picked his candy with care, and you note that it’s mostly sour things.

“but it looks tasty,” you say, and you mean it, even if you prefer sugar on sugar atop liquid sugar.

“no.”

you ponder for a second what might have made him so upset so suddenly. you hum. time for some mathematics. fushiguro hates gojo, gojo is sponsoring this outing, which, maybe, somehow equals fushiguro wanting to spend time with gojo, hence, fushiguro is grumpy and probably wants to go home.

you feel like 2 + 2 = 5 since you’ve uncovered one more piece of information.

well, this is a problem. you raise an eyebrow. how does one deal with an upset seven year old? you think you’ve been doing good so far, but it’s only because fushiguro was in a good mood and somehow tolerable of your presence. suppose you'll have to play by his rules. suppose you can do that, or at the very least try.

slowly, you take the bag. then, you extend your hand to him, "we could try maxing out satoru's card – doesn't that sound fun?"

he furrows his brow and looks like he's having a bad idea. slowly, hesitantly, his tiny palm comes to land in yours, fingers slotting, and then you are both making your way to the counter.

the next spot you visit is a bookstore.

"do you like reading?" you inquire curiously.

a shrug. you assume he's shy, so you let it pass, instead picking up a few manga. they seem popular these days, and maybe you’ll actually have some free time to read it before missions swamp you and you’re off to battle curses in the muggy heat.

meanwhile, fushiguro chooses a coloring book and a plethora of new, shiny markers.

"looks cool," you say.

"yeah," he agrees, and he seems happy. you would really like to take a picture right about now, but you swipe gojo’s credit card instead. you and fushiguro share a pleased look.

when you visit the food court, it’s already buzzing.

"let's get something to eat," you suggest. he nods, "pizza?"

"yes please."

you notice him getting a bit anxious when a large group of people move in front of the two of you, and without a word, your push him closer to your body as you shield him. he stiffens, but doesn't ask you to let go, and leans his head into the comfort.

that's sweet. too sweet. you resist the urge to melt down. god, this kid is growing on you like fungus. you can't believe how happy you are to be spending time with him. that this is actually happening, and you're not imagining any of it. you almost regret not doing this sooner. you feel stupid for being scared and skipping out before.

you might even, and this you find startling, put yourself through the whole ordeal with the parent-teacher conference again. only this time, you might be the one screaming and pointing fingers. what a cute kid.

when the person in front of you finally vacates a table, you squeeze into the tight space, but not before flagging down the server.

"is it just me, or does today feel like a celebration?" you ask him in the attempt of stirring conversation.

his bored eyes wander around, perhaps not finding the occasion anything special or remarkable. but then, with a nod, he says, "i guess."

that's as much enthusiasm as he's going to allow himself to show, and that is completely fine, you decide. you don't need him to pretend for the sake of pleasing you. you're just happy to be here, and you can't wait to tell gojo all about this in great detail. he'll be so jealous.

*

yes, gojo can get any michelin star meal delivered within the hour if he’s persistent and snooty enough. he might also be able to import something from korea in the timeframe it took you to decide on what to eat if fushiguro so much as implored he wanted anything. the real problem is that fushiguro does not want to eat anything touched by gojo’s hands or credit card – the outing being the only exception, as that was done with malicious intent to scam gojo out of more money than was necessary – and you think it’s not healthy to have a growing kid survive on the instant noodles and snacks you purchase from the convenience store.

the cafeteria food is alright, but it, too, lacks the nutrition needed for strong bones and a healthy immune system. you also were unable to find the allergens or a basic ingredients list on the food served there, and the cooks you inquired were suspiciously tight-lipped about it, which only left you pondering about what exactly you have been eating for the past three years.

that, and fushiguro seems to be missing his sister lately, who, apparently, made him food, or made food alongside him, but your newfound big sister instincts send you into a frenzy even imagining this child next to a sharp knife. he is way too independent. when you think of yourself being his age, you think your childhood was much more carefree.

a homecooked meal it is. only problem is that you’re not a great cook, and whatever you made you could only serve yourself because it was just mediocre enough to teeter on the scale of enjoyment, if it could be called that.

still, you were wrestled into an apron by a pest named gojo satoru, who dons a matching one but avoids the pots and pans and stays by the television with fushiguro, as he was made aware that whatever he touches will be promptly thrown into the trash.

you chop, and stir, and haughtily avoid the counter where you were propped up to be devoured by the same man throwing his head back and cackling at some painfully unfunny late night tv show. you catch your reflection in the sharp blade of a knife and pause for a moment.

so this is my life now, huh?

as expected, neither the presentation nor the actual food is up to fushiguro’s standards. it’s evident by the way he skeptically pokes the mess on his plate with his fork. the noodles are too crisp, the broccoli – burned. you might’ve gone overboard with the seasoning, and yes, you can wrangle a curse into submission, but you cannot prepare a decent dinner.

you wait for the verdict with your hands curled into your apron, like some maid about to be scolded by a temperamental prince.

when a minute passes of just examination, you thread carefully, “ne,” fix your best smile, tilt your head to the side even – this is beyond humiliating. nothing gojo has put you through could ever amount to the small curl of queasiness on fushiguro’s mouth, “how about we order food in?”

“i’ll pay!” comes gojo’s enthusiastic agreement. he even waves the remote around, like it’ll summon something delicious on the coffee table just like that.

fushiguro, faced with this unprecedented cheerfulness, stabs his dinner and eats without a word spared.

you stare. no, this can’t be good, you might give him food poisoning, “no, really. let’s order something edible.”

fushiguro chews thoughtfully before he answers, “…it’s edible.”

“liar!” gojo accuses.

“shut up!”

well. it doesn't go too badly, and after a while, gojo puts on a nature documentary as a peace offering, while you wash the dirty dishes and keep sending worried glances to a now placid fushiguro who dutifully finished his meal and has moved on to polishing the bowl clean.

and you can't help the sudden onslaught of fondness that fills you up as the warm water from the sink hits your fingers. this is oddly nice and comforting. it reminds you of the dinners you had back home, only they never were this late and you always pouted when having to wash your plate and utensils.

"eh," you almost drop the soapy spatula; your head ticks to the entrance of the dorm kitchen, and you see shoko leaning by the doorway before the smell of cigarette smoke reaches you. her eyes jump from your apron, to gojo sprawled on the couch, to fushiguro neatly folding a small towel, "feeling a bit left out. what's going on here?"

oh no. you feel your face heat all the way to your forehead. how incriminating, how do you even begin to explain this strange and off-putting development of your relationship with gojo?

maybe you should have told her as soon as it happened, but you didn't know how.

you wanted to, though. each time you meet shoko’s gaze, you had the overwhelming urge to come clean. you can’t phantom how criminals can lie to the police with a straight face, because you’re having significant trouble. what’s worse, it always felt like shoko knew anyway, somehow; that that information breached the kawakami-gojo bubble and bled into the common knowledge pool.

shoko always seemed so suspicious, and in this case, for good reason. now, suppose you don't have to explain anything at all.

gojo points at you with this thumb, "she can't cook for shit, you know that?"

"oh, yes," shoko hums, pleased, "know it too well. i won't need to use reverse on you, will i?"

"nah," he drawls, "think i'd eat that drivel? i'm not suicidal."

"hey!" you bristle.

fushiguro frowns and glares at the tuff of white hair peaking over the back of the couch, "it wasn't so bad."

and your anger vanishes, just like that. your honor has been defended by an seven year old, and now it's just a matter of having to bear with shoko's probing look and the telltale curve in her smile.

"ah, well, if megumi vouches for you, then maybe you've improved," shoko says sagely.

gojo snorts in clear disagreement. fushiguro scrunches his brow and purses his lips.

*

there’s definitely something somewhere written about proper bedtime, but being with fushiguro has made you sentimental about your childhood, and you recalled sneaking around at night to watch tv and having too much energy to sleep, even when you were tucked into your favorite blanket with your favorite stuffed toy under your armpit and read your favorite story.

so you take him to a pastry shop at near closing time, and smile particularly sweetly at the disgruntled cashier who just finished cleaning up. you feel a bit bad, but alas – a tasty treat is a tasty treat, and what is more, everything’s on discount, so you spend a generous amount to make sure fushiguro and you have enough to snack on all the way back to jujutsu tech and then some.

you also got some for gojo, despite how brattish he can be. the only reason he didn’t follow you here is because fushiguro had forbidden it, but even now, you’re not sure if you aren’t being monitored.

fushiguro bites into his colorful fish cookie and chews. the sky is already dimming, but there’s still plenty of people out and about, enjoying their summer. he keeps close, but doesn’t reach for your hand. you hadn’t been able to achieve your initial victory at the start of the week, but maybe you still have some time.

“you’re leaving for a mission,” he says after a pleasant silence, blunt as always. you try remembering if you were this honest when you were his age. certainly, you must’ve been more tactful. when your gaze flits to fushiguro, you find him disgruntled, an expression reminiscent of gojo when he doesn’t get something he wants.

it’s starkly similar, actually. a father that stepped up…

“it’s only for a few days,” you tell him, keeping your voice light in an effort to appease him, “i’ll be back before you know it. with souvenirs, too.”

a tic creases his brow as he seems to give the offer some serious contemplation. a couple of moments pass before, with a sharp huff, he mumbles a sour, "do as you like."

you manage a patient, "look forward to the present, hm?"

he is very stubborn and says nothing but chews with a little more fervor.

"maybe you want something specific? or would surprise be best?"

you hear a short sound of exasperation at that, and a shake of his head.

"no... you can choose, nee-san."

you nearly collapse. fushiguro, no, megumi, megumi hasn't ever been so malleable before; the things this boy has been doing to your heart must be against the law. it’s too precious, and so sweet it makes the glazed cinnamon bun grasped so tightly between your fingers taste bland. how could you ever recover? is it even worth bringing it up? just how much does megumi truly care about you to call you something so tender?

you have to swallow a disgusting ball of coo for the sake of everyone, namely megumi, who seems especially irritated, “…how about a plushy? or a phone accessory? satoru said he bought you a nice new model.”

your efforts do not go unnoticed. there is a gleam in his eyes, and his cheeks flush in pleasure.

"can..." his tone lowers, quiet, almost timid, "can i choose when you're back?"

there isn't a bone in your body strong enough to decline that.

"of course," you smile, "tell me when i should come back and i will."

a pair of small fingers come to grip your sleeve, hesitantly, shyly.

"the sooner, the better," he mumbles, glaring at the sidewalk, "so... be quick."

*

“’s stupid,” gojo grumbles, making himself comfortable on your bed instead of helping you pack your suitcase, “why you needa go, anyway?”

not him, too. christ, why are they ganging up on you?

you sigh, folding a sweater. it’ll likely be too warm to wear it, but you’ll take it just in case, “cuz yaga-sensei told me to?”

“coulda said no,” he answers stubbornly. you pause to stare him down.

if not for the sunglasses, he would be giving you the same look as megumi; a bit less angry, more passive aggressive.

he presses, the smirk fading, a sharp edge to his voice, not quite biting, not yet, "wanna stay and fuck a bit instead?"

god. the word makes your spine crawl with something familiar, or rather, a mix of emotions that is indescribable and difficult to disentangle; something close to exasperated fondness, perhaps.

but you shake your head, the weak protests die out on your lips, and he rolls over, sated, like a cat that had gotten its cream, "...you sure?"

"stop trying to seduce me," you snort, ignoring the lingering glance directed at your back.

"then you'd really miss your train."

"satoru."

"right, right..."

"go be annoying somewhere else."

a heavy exhale. you don't dare to turn because you hear the mattress creak and his footsteps drawing nearer.

the warmth envelops you easily, his hold is lazy, his mouth is by your ear, hot breath sending a shiver up your nape, "mean. and here i am, all ready and eager."

but his fingers linger on the waist of your shorts, just above the material. it's a small touch. noninvasive. you can feel him holding himself back.

"...'s gonna be too cold," gojo continues, quietly. he isn't helping, his nose nudging your hair, a soft kiss pressed below your earlobe, "in bed without you. who will i cuddle now?"

oh, damn him and the things he does and says. and that honey sweet voice of his, teasing you.

but you won't fall for his tricks, "well, it won't be forever. you won't even notice i'm gone."

and he laughs. like he's telling himself not to show his irritation at you dismissing him so easily, "always notice," he mumbles, or maybe he doesn't, because he kisses your cheek one more time before he disentangles and plops down onto the mattress again, "anyway, megumi wants to escort you to the train station, so expect an entourage."

you ponder who would be more clingy: gojo or megumi.

*

it's gojo.

tags (couldn’t tag in bold!). @shokosbunny , @jotarohat , @alygator77 , @fortunatelyfurrygiver , @finnydraws , @mastermasterlist1p1 , @eolivy , @letsmyy , @staruus , @k0z3me , @damnshorty , @kaeyakaikai , @n4melesspers0n , @midnightwriter21 , @sillymercury , @byakuya61085 , @stillnotherapy , @mydearchoso , @plutoisaghoul , @byerno6 , @bqvz , @harryzcherry , @noira-l ,

[irenadel]

And if the devil… 10/10

Aemond Targaryen X Maid!Reader TW: For the aftermath of DV Thank you to @barbieaemond for letting me use her beautiful gifs to make this lovely fic banner. As promised am tagging @prettyduckling22

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9

It is raining heavily when the queen finds you. The lantern she holds aloft barely lets her and her father see you and they dare not come any closer. Her son’s dragon is wide awake, making a dreadful rumbling sound somewhere deep in her gullet. There is a soft, hazy glow all along the beast’s underbelly, like dying embers, like a fire you make the mistake of considering dead.

Alicent feels like her entire body has been turned to lead, soft and infinitely heavy. She hears her father hold his breath and knows, at least, she is not alone in her terror.

He does not leave her. He holds her shoulders steady and Alicent is grateful for that.

“Aemond…”

When Vhagar picks her head from the ground, moves it like Alicent imagines avalanches must move, she is still making that wrathful, rumbling sound. The ground shakes with it. Her legs feel like they will not carry her weight and she wants to weep, like a child, when the dragon opens her mouth to breathe hot and humid and carrion-like upon her.

She wonders if this was the last thing her son saw with both eyes, before that terrible night where it had all begun to go wrong.

“Try again,” her father whispers in her ear. Always try again. Never a moment’s rest.

“Aemond please,” she croaks out, the feeble light of her lantern trembling in the wind. “I’ll be quick.”

The dragon makes another noise and Alicent finds it to be the most awful of all, for she feels it, to the bottom of her belly, a heavy, nauseous weight, a near human moan of pain. When Vhagar cocks her massive head to better look at her, Alicent nearly cries in fear until she sees those eyes. Always they had seemed beady and lizard-like to her, predatory and unknowable, but now they just seem miserably tired.

For a moment she feels ashamed.

I trusted you with him, the ancient, watery eyes of the dragon Vhagar seem to say to her. I trusted you with him and always you have failed me. First the eye and now this…

She breathes the words between near-clenched teeth and it is a wonder to her that the dragon seems to understand as she turns from her and to her father behind her. She advances without him, without even looking back at him, unable to explain the price of going under the great dragon Vhagar’s wings to him.

He would not have paid it anyway. He has never paid it for her.

When she finds you and her son laying against the wall of stinking, warm scales she almost pays it again. She covers her mouth and traps the words behind her fingers. 

I’m sorry, she wants to repeat, but finds she cannot. Not when confronted with her son’s bloodied face years ago, not now that he doesn’t look at her, you in his arms, wrapped in his green cloak, kept warm by dragonfire, dry by one leathery wing held close to the dragon’s body. She barely recognizes you in the gloom under Vhagar’s shadow. Ugly, scrawny thing that you had been. Remarkable only for your strange coloring and the princess’s favor. You had made Helaena happy and thus the queen had tolerated your ill manners. You had been smart and obedient and made yourself scarce when you had become a problem and Alicent had been grateful for the discretion if for nothing else.

Now she feels ill looking at the blood upon your dress. She cannot tell much else with her single lantern’s light and she almost doesn’t dare whisper it: “Is she alive?”

Aemond’s hand stops, halfway through caressing your short, matted hair. There’s dried blood all over one side of your face, your temple and cheek having already swollen black and blue. Your eyes are closed, your hand holding onto the prince’s neck is swollen too, white-knuckled and clenched.

He still does not look at her.

“You can leave now,” he answers and Alicent does not know his voice in that moment. Wants to shake some sense into him as she has done to his brother so many times. A man’s voice, with a petulant boy’s demand.

“She needs a maester, Aemond,” she tries again, not even knowing if it would not just be wiser to let this all die down. Let things take their natural course and help her son mourn, later, once the danger is over.

Aemond is speaking to you, low and gentle, in a soft, kind tone Alicent hasn’t heard from him since he had both eyes. Some of it must be High Valyrian, the rest Alicent cannot recognize. There is a cadence to it, like music. Through it, she hears Vhagar howl again, sees the pebbles on the floor jump with the monstrous vibration of it all and knows she cannot.

Who knows what would be left of her boy if she lets him lose one more thing?

“I’ll bring the maester here,” she capitulates, kneeling down besides the two of you, just to get a better look at you. A fever, she feels when she dares put her hand on your ruined cheek. But you breathe at least. When she gets up to leave, she feels the tug of her son’s hand on her wrist, terrifyingly strong and uncaring, but is glad that he should at least look at her now.

“It was a lost babe,” he says, his voice that of a man, she realizes now, because all emotion is gone from it. Alicent’s heart turns to ice. “A beating and a punch to the gut.”

She had not fled Vhagar when the hoary old thing had turned to her, but she flees her son now. You and her son.

Things have a price, the septons had said sometimes, when she was young and naughty and free. She thinks of Aemma Arryn and her own four living children. She thinks of her daughter, white-faced and grim in spite of the healthy, beautiful babe she had borne. When she ignores her father’s imprecations, when she drags a young and discrete maester to the seaside cliff where Vhagar nests, when together they try to pry you from Prince Aemond’s arms and succeed only in getting him to carry you gently, ever so gently, back to the Red Keep, she thinks of the price of things.

An apology she will never speak to her child but only to his dragon.

A girl’s life. A boy’s soul.

She is done letting her son pay the price and she tells her father as much. He can handle the gossip and the angry lords. It matters little. If he cannot, then perhaps her son’s dragon will.

The prince waits.

He watches a young, redhead maester unstick the clothes off your body and sponge the blood off your skin. Grand Maester Mellos is too important to bother with you.

He listens and seethes. His mother behind him, eyes moist, looking to him though he cannot answer them.

The young maester tells you the blows to the head are the most worrisome. That and your coming cold. He does not use the word babe when he says there should be no lasting damage, it was an early pregnancy. He gives you willow bark tea for the pain and makes you sweat out the rest of your fever. Rest and food should put you to rights, he says to you. He speaks only to you, firm but gentle, not to the prince standing besides your bed, sword-straight and impassive. He is too cautious and well-mannered to let more than pursed-lips betray his anger at whatever royal mistreatment has befallen you. He has no qualms in telling you to call him if you were to have need of moontea, even with the queen and prince balefully looming over him and his patient. Aemond almost likes him.

The queen tries once to suggest moving you out of the prince’s quarters. She does not try again.

The prince waits.

He will allow no servants to tend to you, no one but the queen and maester. When necessary, he will change the linens on his bed himself while you sleep, the way you had taught him to do with his own royal father. It frightens him, how deep your slumber is.

The prince sleeps as close to you as he dares, curled up like a dog at the foot of his own bed. He crawls in it when you are asleep, unwilling to give you the chance to chase him away, soaking up your lingering warmth, too ashamed to ask for it, too desperate to forgo it entirely. He almost thinks he need not bother.

Because the prince waits and still you will not speak.

Your face has gone from black to green to a sickly yellow. You sit in a prince’s bed. You eat the bread he gives you and drink the stew he spoons into your mouth. Sip the warm tea he brings you while you stare at the sheets and say nothing.

Aemond is too miserably aware of how low he is willing to stoop for your voice to attempt speaking to you himself. He has considered it all. Shaking it out of you, with a shout and a curse. Dragging his brother to this room and killing him for you, for himself. Bringing his sister here. Her children. Taking you in his arms again and taking you to Vhagar, flying across the sea, to anywhere that will make you speak again… smile again…

You are slipping from his hands, as far away as you were during those first few days when he would skulk outside closed doors and steal away snippets of your voice, low and husky, singing foreign nonsense to his niece and nephew.

But he is too tired now to summon the outrage he used to feel, at you owning comfort he could not reach.

So the prince waits… until he can wait no more.

“Please,” he says to you, as you sit and stare. “Please…”

You still say nothing. But you do look at him. You reach for his hand and he lets you have it, for as many hours as you need it, even as it grows numb in your grasp. You hold its warmth to your belly, as if the blood of the dragon could thaw the cold residing in there now.

He looks at your glassy eyes, your white-knuckled hand and his own on your belly and he knows what he must do. He should have done it long ago, the first time he had ever seen the blood on your split lip, the bruises on your pale skin. He should have known better than to let himself be distracted by the beauty they revealed to him. He kisses your forehead before he does, trying not to tremble at the brief taste of your skin. He is a man starving, with hunger’s implacable ruthlessness.

When he returns, he drops your cousin’s severed hand upon your lap. The hand that took a prince’s son from him. Prince Aemond One-Eye himself, a bruise of his own on his face, hair wild, eyepatch and dignity forgotten. What he will never forget again is the sound a man makes when Valyrian steel cuts through his flesh and bone.

You do not understand. For a moment you are so stunned and angry it knocks the numbness right out of your lungs. You look at your prince, watch him fall to his knees, lay his head on your lap, besides your flesh and blood, and almost forget to make sense of the words when they come out of him. Westerosi is only your second tongue after all.

“I would have you sing again,” he says with the hoarse rawness of a man who has just discovered all his cruelty to be bravado. “I would have you laugh again.”

And it is awful, to think Aemond would not know that there is no blood that could buy back your soul. Awful but not surprising, that he should not know pain and sorrow could only beget more of themselves. You had known this of him, the first time you had ever seen a sapphire hiding pain. You try not to think of Angus, still a boy, still as much a boy as Prince Aemond himself. You try not to think of what a hand means to a working man and not to a prince. You try not to think of the bridges he has burnt or the ties he has severed for you forever more, when he severed tendon and marrow.

Because if you start thinking of it, you will find yourself fiercely glad that he did.

You will find within your breast a cry of vicious triumph, that sounds to your mind like a Dothraki screamer. Nothing that could ever bring you comfort. Nothing that could ever pay for the death of your dreams, or your hopes, or your love for a boy who had been your boy until he wasn’t.

Nothing that would help.

But still, Aemond had done it for you. Useless, the mother you had barely known had called it in the far reaches of your memory, when men beat their breasts and swear death to you.

Useless perhaps, but he had done it for you.

He lets out a sob when your hand runs through his hair.

“You have no coin,” you say to him and he near cries in relief at the sound of your voice. “To buy back my joy. There is no joy left for me in the world. I have nothing.”

You’ve taken it all from me, you do not say. With black steel and my kinsman’s blood. No hope now, to go back home.

Good.

You think of getting up and not looking back. You think of sailing the poison water and finding your way back to the land of your father, to endless grass and sun-baked earth. You see life unfurling before you, empty and safe. A man maybe. A strong rider who would give you strong children instead of moontea and grief. Small, boring children that do not eat your insides with fangs and claws and fire.

Aemond burrows his face into your lap and crushes your borrowed shift and sheets in his bloodied hands.

You know you cannot. You have no home left but him.

“You’ve nothing I want, Aemond One-Eye. Nothing to pay me with but one thing.”

You see him whip his head off the bed to look at you, the nightmares and dread written clearly on a face too young and beautiful to bear them, warring now with desperate hope. You take this face into your hands, this face you have cherished and cursed, and hold it close to yours, grip tight enough to keep your hands from shaking.

“You,” you breathe and he reaches back for you, hands flying to your neck and gripping you as close as you grip him, choking back a cry of savage joy. “You are the only thing I will ever want again. The only coin I will take. I have nothing but you, nothing. So you will pay me with your life. Swear to me… swear you’ll live forever.”

Easy promise for a king’s son, you think. Easy to think you would go first, of toil or hunger or sorrow. As long as he lived it would be alright.

“I swear,” he answers as he lets you taste the tears off his lips. “Forever.”

I almost cannot grasp I am done with this. It's been consuming my life for the last couple of months. I've been virtually possessed by the idea and I am just glad I was able to surf the wave until I could finish it. Extra chapter and all. I think I've got a couple more Aemond porn one-shots in me that I've started and will probably try to finish. Some Helaemond X Reader and some Aegond X Reader if anyone wants to hear a little bit more of this verse... or at least the shoddy AU I have to conjure to get the pretty Targaryen people to fuck without killing each other. Thank you so much to everyone who commented and left likes. ...not that I will ever admit to obsessively refreshing AO3 and tumblr for likes but yeah... You guys are the best T_T thank you

[pshbites]

LOVE ON AiR: 9. YNXOXO VLOG: night out w/ won & riki

WARNiNGS » profanity, manipulation, underage drinking (DONT!!), mentions of drugs & drinking, angry ynhoon

wc: 4k, if there’s typos IGNORE PLS 😞🙏🏼

video description: welcome back to my bubble! in todays video i started off with a cute quick grwm then vlogged my night out. unfortunately the video ended off on a bad note but tysm for watching! hope u come back ^.^

you prop the camera up on your vanity and smile. you wave, “hi guys! welcome back to my little bubble!” you spin your rotating shelf of products and reach for your primer. “today, i’m getting ready for a night out. won and riki said they’re 10 minutes away.” you look into the mirror, behind the camera and begin applying your primer.

“i’ve already changed into my outfit and done my hair as you can see. just need to do my makeup.” you smiled softly at the camera and reached for your foundation, showing it in the frame like a true beauty influencer. “i was talking with kat and giselle the other night and we came up with like a whole list of videos i should do” you began blending your foundation, taking to the camera simultaneously.

you had started vlogging around the same time the podcast started. at first it was just short vlogs but since the podcast started taking off you had gotten more comfortable around the camera so the vlogs started consisting of what you ate in a day, a typical recording day, day in your life and much more. soon enough your vlogging channel started taking off as well because people enjoyed the way you spoke to the camera as if it was one of your friends.

“oh my god i didn’t even say what we were doing tonight sorry guys” you laughed a little, blending out your concealer you had put on. “i’m sure you guys remember yeonjun, he was in my new years vlog” you paused, blending the area on your chin then spoke again. “well he’s having a party tonight so me won and riki are going. well me forcefully. sunoo giselle and kat couldn’t join because they’re doing other things. bummer right?” you pouted softly to the camera and looked back in the mirror, moving to the next step of your routine.

“kat and sunoo said they would meet us afterwards and im hoping so because riki was a mess to take home after the new year’s party” you shuddered at the sheer memory of new year’s eve and how much riki bothered you that night. “honestly im glad we’re going out because i haven’t seen won or riki aside from recording days.” you glanced once more at the camera, smiling. “between us, i think they missed me too” you giggled softly, looking back in the mirror.

“you know since we hit 600,000 subscribers a couple days ago, should i make a special video?” you furrow your brows, looking at your reflection then back at the camera. “you guys should let me know, if i should post that list of video ideas we came up with, some of them are pretty fun” you began setting your face, the translucent powder locking everything in place.

just as you were going to do your eyes, the doorbell rang then a series of knocks followed it. you looked at the camera and a smile grew on your face. “they’re here!” you picked up the camera, walking through the apartment and to the front door. you opened it and turned the camera to face jungwon and riki. “oh you’re filming already?” jungwon smiled and waved to the camera. “yep!” you peeked your head out from behind the camera and riki began laughing.

“you look so weird without your makeup fully done” riki blurted out, trying to conceal his laughter but failed miserably. you squinted your eyes and moved to the side so they could both come in. once riki walked past you, you slapped the back of his head making jungwon laugh. “hey!!” he shouted, rubbing the spot. you smiled at the camera once again, ignoring riki groaning in the back. “sorry guys, let’s get back to the routine!”

the three of you walked down to your room, you sitting at your vanity and jungwon and riki plopping on your bed. “yn how much longer is it gonna take” jungwon opened his phone, scrolling on it. “just about 5 minutes. guys did i give you guys a life update?” you looked to the camera, smiling as you put on your eyeshadow. “well, incase i didn’t basically i got this new hairdryer, no it’s not a dyson or a shark but it gives me the best blowout look”

you brought some of your hair to the front, showing off the curls. riki picked his head up, his interest piqued. “wait really? i’ve been needing a new hairdryer” you looked at him through the mirror and nodded “it’s in the bathroom” you mumbled, setting your face with setting spray.

“guys please invest in good setting spray because my makeup used to melt off when i didn’t have a good one and once i changed to this one it literally stays” you showed the setting spray in frame, once again like a beauty influencer. “i feel like i also got so many compliments on my makeup once i started using it” you mumbled, closing one eye to put on eyeliner and focused so you wouldn’t mess up. “i don’t know why but anytime i have like noise in the background i can focus on my eyeliner better, maybe i'm just weird but it really does help” you chuckle lightly at the sound of the hairdryer turning on in the bathroom.

“i think i say like way too much. kat also suggested a video where i count the amount of times i say like or something like that.” you paused and looked at jungwon through the mirror and the two of you start laughing. “you said like 4 times in that sentence!” he shouts out, laughing so hard his face turned red. “it’s such a bad habit!” you replied, trying to control your laughter so you could put on mascara.

riki emerged from the bathroom, now with voluminous hair and soft curls. “that hairdryer is amazing” he admired himself in your vanity mirror making you laugh. he spotted the eyeliner and picked it up, inspecting it like a curious cat. “you think i should put some eyeliner on?” he looks to you as you fix your hair, makeup now done. “i think the viewers would love if you and won put eyeliner on” you smiled at the camera, picking it up to record both riki and jungwon. “come on won get up!” riki slapped jungwons butt, making him groan and stand up to go to the bathroom.

you brought a makeup brush to mimic the eyeliner. “just shut one eye and glide smoothly, rub it out a bit so it gives that cool smokey eye look” you demonstrate with the makeup brush. both boys watching carefully. you record riki, him putting the eyeliner on with ease and rubbing it out, then doing it to the other. he looked at himself in the mirror and smiled as if proud of himself. “wait that looks so sick. riki do mine like that” jungwon gasped, now finally putting his phone down and his face in front of riki. “i just have to do everything around here” riki sighed jokingly and did jungwons eyeliner.

“riki i think you should be an mua instead of a twitch streamer.” you giggled behind the camera making riki glare at you. “i literally streamed one time and you guys can’t let it go” he sighed out, moving away from jungwon so he could look at himself in the mirror. jungwon smiled, ruffling his hair lightly. “don’t we all look good” you mumbled, behind the camera, looking at yourself in the mirror as well. the camera captured all three of you in the mirror. “i say we coordinated pretty well.” riki spoke up, you analyzing each of your outfits.

you wore a simple black minidress with detailing around the corset. riki wore a pair of grey baggy jeans as well as black shirt and a black leather jacket to go with it. jungwon brought in a pop of color with a red and black racer jacket with a black sleeveless top under, with a pair of black jeans. “we did didnt we?” jungwon smiled, looking to the two of you then fishing his keys out of his pocket. “shall we?” riki nods, the three of you walking out of the bathroom.

you flip the camera back to you. “luckily the drive from my apartment to yeonjuns house isn’t insanely far, so i don’t have to go yet guys.” you point to the camera, smiling. “i probably wouldn’t have shut the camera anyways” you laugh out, shutting the front door behind, locking it and matching your pace with riki. “yeah the camera is glued to your hand” “but you guys love it!” “.. yeah”

“you see guys riki acts like a menace on the internet but in real life he’s actually a really nice person. he’s taking best friend applications right now!” you angle the camera towards him and he laughs. “i am actually not. won and sunoo are my best friends” “not for long..” jungwon mumbled back, making you laugh and riki stare at him.

in the midst of your rambling and joking the three of you made it to the car. riki and jungwon in the front and you in the back. “you know everytime we go anywhere it’s war to get the aux” you flip the camera to show jungwon and riki slapping each others hands to get the aux cord. “you literally got it on the way here!” riki groaned out and jungwon snatched the cord from him, plugging it in his phone. “yeah well it’s my car. learn how to drive and maybe you can play travis scott” riki gasps, as if offended and you burst out laughing, flipping the camera back to you.

“no one really talks about it but sitting in the back is actually fun. because while those two are having their own conversations, i can sit back here and just mind my own business with my cute little camera.” ‘u got it’ by frank ocean starts playing in the car as jungwon begins driving. riki rolls his eyes at jungwon playing frank ocean once again but smiles softly. he loves it too. you look at yourself in the camera, fixing a hair out of place. “did i tell you guys about my apartment floor drama” you look to the screen and pause, as if an actual audience would respond.

“it’s kinda crazy because my apartment floor has this couple living on it and they have argued like every single day out of this week, like i see the girl burst out crying when she walks out. i feel so bad because they’re a lot older than me so i can’t really reach out or try and befriend her. it sucks though” you pouted softly at the camera. “besides that, the old lady on my floor is getting mad at some dude again. as always, living in apartments is not really that fun honestly. i still love my place though!” you sigh and smile at the camera, riki laughing a little at the way you talked.

“who wants to place a bet on who’s gonna get the most fucked up tonight” riki spoke up, you furrowed your brows. “is yeonjun in on this bet? because if so i think he would be” the two boys start laughing and jungwon shakes his head. “i think riki will” “woah? rude!!” he exclaimed, putting his hands up. “don’t get me started on new years..” you mumble and look the camera, as if communicating with the watchers. “i think won will” you spoke up. jungwon furrowed his brows.

“i’ll throw a wild one, yn!” riki pointed at you and you laughed right in his face. “absolutely not” you scoffed and riki laughed. “yeah we’ll see” you glared at him, wanting to slap the back of his head again but refrained yourself. “well one of us is gonna have to be a little sober to drive home” “we could always crash” you shrugged making jungwon scrunch his nose. “yeah.. sure” he replied, making you giggle at his tone of voice.

“whoever blacks out first owes the other two a hundred bucks?” riki suggests looking the two of you and you ponder on it for a bit. “each?” jungwon asks, side eyeing riki as he nods. “fine, deal” you say, sitting back in your seat once more. you look the camera and widen your eyes a little. “guys the bet is between me and won, riki doesn’t drink” “you were recording?!” “sorry!” you yelled back, making jungwon burst out laughing as he pulled up to the house.

the three of you got out of the car and you looked at yourself in the camera once more fixing your hair. “well guys we’re gonna head in so i’ll pick up the camera a little later! see ya!” riki and jungwon wave at the camera with you and you turn it off. “don’t worry i’ll end it once we’re a bit too drunk” you looked to both of them and riki sighed as if in relief. “thank god i didn’t need a new years recap. you were evil for that you know?” you laughed next to him as the three of you walked closer to the front lawn.

after what seemed like the longest car ride ever sunghoon jake jay and heeseung arrived at yeonjuns house. “god finally.” jay mumbled, shutting the door and glaring at jake as he got out of the drivers seat. “hey if you didn’t want me to drive you should’ve said something” jake exclaimed, throwing his hands up. “not like you would’ve listened” jay replied, walking ahead of jake and jake looked at sunghoon, mouth wide open.

“cmon jake, he’s just moody” sunghoon shook his head, putting his arm around jake’s shoulder as the two of them walked to the front door. sunghoon didn’t want to be here. he would much rather be at the rink or watching a movie with gaeul. jake rambled on about something next to him but he wasn’t really listening. well he was but not entirely. he just wasn’t in any sort of mood tonight. as they entered the house his nose scrunched at the sudden smell of sweaty bodies, weed, and alcohol. what a great fragrance choice, sunghoon thought.

“heeseung! guys it’s been so long!” yeonjun approached them, dapping up heeseung. sunghoon smiled softly and nodded, all fake though. he didn’t really like yeonjun or his friends. they weren’t weird just a tad bit much. then again sunghoon didn’t have room to speak, he hung out with the same three people all the time.

“so when can i be a special guest on the podcast?!” yeonjun laughed, throwing his hands up. sunghoon and jake eyed each other then sighing and smiling. this was going to be a long night.

you turned on the camera and fixed your appearance a little. “hey guys! so we’ve been here for about an hour, no one’s blacked out thank god. right now we’re playing uno with soobin and beomgyu!” you turned the camera around to soobin and beomgyu who smiled and waved. “annnnd right now riki is winning! here i’ll prop up the camera” you smiled and set the camera down, propping it up so everyone was in frame.

as of now you had only 3 cards left and 2 drinks in your system. “yns gonna use the camera to cheat!” jungwon pointed at you accusingly and you scoffed, almost laughing. “am not!” you shook your head and looked at the camera. “i would never do that!” “that sounds like someone who would” riki laughed next to you and you pinched his arm, making him yelp.

“it’s your turn soobin hurry up” beomgyu complained next to him making soobin side eye him. “you know just because you said that” soobin placed down a +4 and looked to jungwon who only smiled and placed down another. they had planned this. “yn please say you have a +4” jungwon looked to you, making you pout. “ugh i don’t.. oh wait.. what’s this..” you fake confusion as you set down another +4 card. beomgyu gasped and looked at riki with worried eyes. the four of you stared at riki as he set down his last card, in anticipation and it just so happened to be a +4, resulting in beomgyu picking up 16 cards and riki winning the game.

“ughh fuck! you let him win!” beomgyu yelled at soobin making him laugh as riki cheered. “yeah but what matters is that you have 16 cards so i think we all won” you and jungwon kept laughing as soobin and beomgyu continued arguing, neither of them stopping for a breath. you picked the camera back up, trying to contain your laughter. “as you can see beomgyu lost tremendously compared to riki, speaking of how do you feel?” you pointed the camera towards riki who was still cheering.

he looked down at the camera and smiled. “i feel like life is finally worth living.. like i finally have a meaning. the haters tried tearing me down but it didn’t work. we are so back” “the haters should’ve tried harder!” jungwon yelled in response making you burst out laughing at how riki glared at him. just as riki was about to say something the three of your phones buzzed at the same time, most likely the group chat.

ONE NEW NOTIFCATION.

kat: where are you guysss, im in the backyard

you looked up and looked around to spot kat. you beamed once you did find her and the three of you started yelling her name. “finally” you shouted as she got closer, hugging you. “told ya i was gonna come” she let go of you and smiled at the camera, waving. “hi vlog!!” making you giggle. “riki just kicked beomgyu ass at uno” jungwon said as kat took a seat next to him, passing her a drink. “for the last time i was set up!!” beomgyu yelled back, groaning. “fine let’s deal the cards and play again!” she smiled, collecting the cards up from the table.

sunghoon watched jake’s poor attempts at flirting with some girl from the couch. he had to stifle a chuckle everytime the girl rolled his eyes as he rambled. “i don’t know why he does this to himself” jay spoke next to him, shaking his head. “it’s actually pretty amusing” sunghoon smiled, leaning back on the couch, swishing whatever drink was in his cup. “you’ve been off tonight. what is it?” he looked to jay and pursed his lips, as if hesitating to speak.

sunghoon was like that, he didn’t confide in people easily. for some reason he always found himself in this situation with jay, a hefty load on his shoulders. jay looked at him with anticipation because he had already known something was in fact bothering sunghoon, he just didn’t know what. sunghoon huffed out a breath and pulled out his phone. opening a certain chat and passing it to jay. “don’t get on me for replying” sunghoon mumbled, making jay furrow his brows as he read.

sunghoon watched jays expression as he kept reading, his eyebrows stuck in that same angry position. “what the fuck? why didn’t you say anything?” jay looked at sunghoon, placing his phone down on the couch. sunghoon shrugged, sighing as he threw his head back. “hoon don’t listen to her, she’s just trying to rekindle something that wasn’t there.” jays face turned to worry as he saw sunghoon just sitting there silently.

“yeah but what if she’s right. what if i am unlovable” sunghoon turned his head, finally facing jay. jay only looked at him. “you’re not, sunghoon she’s just trying to mess with your head. don’t let her” jay watched his friends face, how it changed to frustration after he said that. he knew after that breakup it was a dark place for sunghoon.

“yeah, you’re right. it’s just been on my mind i don’t know why. i’m sorry if im killing the mood” sunghoon sighed out, now suddenly feeling guilty for pouring his feelings out on jay, a common feeling for him. “it’s normal hoon, don’t apologize. now get up, im taking you home” jay stood up, patting sunghoons knee. sunghoon shook his head, “no i won’t ruin your night” “my night was ruined when i saw jake flirt with that poor girl. now get up man” sunghoon laughed slightly, getting up and standing next to jay.

“let’s atleast tell hee we’re leaving, i think he’s outside” sunghoon muttered to jay who only nodded, leading the way. sunghoon read the texts again, lagging behind jay. the words were etched in his head ‘you’re unlovable’ maybe he should change something. maybe he was doing something wrong.

just before he could look up, he collided with someone, spilling whatever liquid was left in his cup. “oh shit i’m sorry-“ sunghoon looked up from his phone to see you, drenched in said liquid. your friends stood behind you, just as shocked as you were. “i..” “you did that on purpose you dick!” you shouted out, trying to wipe away the alcohol on your hands.

“on purpose?! i literally didn’t even know you were here” sunghoon shouted back, eyebrows now furrowed in irritation. “yeah sure” you scoffed, shaking your head in disbelief. “are you stupid. i said i didn’t know” he replied, the same irritation in his voice. jay placed a hand on sunghoons shoulder, gripping it lightly. “okay hoon, just apologize”, he murmured in his ear.

“yeah for some reason that doesn’t seem believable, look just apologize” you crossed your arms, still glaring up at him. sunghoon almost wanted to laugh in your face. “apologize? you were in MY way!” “you were in my way! you probably did it on purpose too!” you shouted back, sunghoon groaning.

“the world doesn’t fucking revolve around you!” sunghoon shouted, a little louder now. loud enough for jungwon to step in between you two, you stepped back, quiet now. “there’s no need to yell man, now go.” jungwon glared at him, almost sizing him up. there was a notable size difference between the two. sunghoon scoffed, “fine” he walked past jungwon, shoulder checking him and leaving jay standing there.

jay laughed nervously as the group glared him down, scratching the back of his neck. “sorry.. he had a rough night. girl problems” jungwon gave him a half ass smile as if to say ‘okay.. go away now’ “yeah he didn’t have to be a dick about it. now can you move?” jays eyes widened at the boys bluntness and stepped to the side, letting the four of you walk away.

“you okay?” kat rubbed your arm as you guys walked towards the front door. “yeah just annoyed, ugh that guy is a dick” you grumbled, wiping away at your dress. “let’s hope we don’t have to see him again” jungwon mumbled in front of you, also quite annoyed by the encounter.

you weren’t as bothered as jungwon was, just a bit shocked. you didn’t like it when people raised their voice at you. it made you feel small, belittled almost. you didn’t like feeling that, jungwon knew that, all of them did. which is why he stepped in. he did that often for everyone, it was just his thing, protecting his friends.

the four of you reached the car, getting in. kat had ubered here so she was riding back with you guys. luckily everyone was pretty sober so going home wasn’t a problem. you sat in the front next to jungwon now, kat and riki in the back.

the car ride was pretty quiet, riki and kat in their own world and you and jungwon way too annoyed to even bother to talk. jungwon and riki dropped kat off first since her apartment came first then they reached your complex. you said your goodbyes (riki flicked your forehead) and went up, entering your apartment.

you pulled out your camera, realizing you hadn’t ended the vlog properly yet. you turned it around and fixed your expression, then hit record. “sorry i forgot to record in the car but that was pretty much it for tonight’s vlog! i’m just gonna take off my makeup, change then sleep. thanks for joining me today and be sure to like, comment, share and subscribe! till next time!!” you waved to the camera as you did your outro and blew a kiss.

previous masterlist next

AUTHORS NOTE » soooooo ummmm 😅 maybe ynhoon WONT happen as expected. anyways this is when the smau srsly starts taking off so u guys r in for some DRAMAAA. pls like n reblog luvs 💟

TAGLiST » @lqfiles @strawberrysavi @blockbusterhee @onlyhyunjin @purennn @jungkit @flwoie @imheretoread @firstclassjaylee @pinkishyng @luvgiselle @kang-ulzzang @cherryxbxmb @jkslvsnella @urslytherin @somerandomf1fan @i03jae @kittykangz @s0urcherry @istglevi-gotmesimping @hyuckies18 @seungwaitamin @taehyunnzly @luvvhaerin @brii-sunwoos-version @won4kiss @cheridiaries

bold cannot be tagged

[honestlydarkprincess]

writing patterns

tagged by @jeeyuns, @devirnis, @exhuastedpigeon mwah

rules: list the first line(s) of your last 10 posted fics and see if there's a pattern!

we made it (knew that we would be alright) - buckley siblings, rated G “Not that I’m not happy to have lunch with you, Mads, but it was kind out of the blue, everything okay?” Buck asked, putting his drink down after taking a sip. They were waiting for their food at this cute little diner that they loved to come to together and Maddie had been nervously fidgeting for ten minutes now. Buck couldn’t take it anymore and had to ask.

send a flare up in the dark (and i'll come find you) - buddie, rated T “Why are we here, Natalia?” Buck grumbled, looking miserable as he took a big sip of his beer. He picked at the plate of fries that sat on the table between them, shoving one of them in his mouth with a sigh. “We could have just stayed in.”

whatever shall we do - buddie, rated T Buck was immediately suspicious when Eddie sat down across from him at the table in the loft and gave him a wide smile. “What do you want?”

race to the sun (rest when it's over) - buddie, rated E Buck knew that he shouldn’t taunt Eddie while they were fucking. Really, he did. But it just got Eddie so riled up when Buck was a brat that he couldn’t help himself.

i could be the one to make you fall (again and again) - bellarke, rated E Normally, hanging out with the Blake siblings would be a very good night for Clarke. It was her preferred way of spending an evening to be honest. She loved spending time with her best friend and her best friend’s older brother— who also happened to be her crush. Falling for her best friend’s brother was not something Clarke had intended to do and it was times like these that reminded Clarke of just why it was a bad idea.

new sensations, sweet temptations - thiam, rated E When Liam’s mom Jenna started dating his classmate Theo’s adoptive dad David, Liam hadn’t thought all that much about it. His mom hadn’t really dated since his father had died when he was a baby, so he hadn’t thought this would stick. He had been friendly enough when she had brought David home, even played nice with his son Theo. They didn’t get along all that well at school but there were never any problems. Not in high-school and not when they ended up at the same college. Not until Theo became a more concrete part of his life.

all in - hangster, rated E If you had told Rooster a week ago that he would be stumbling into his base housing with Hangman, making out against every surface Rooster could push him into, he would have called you a liar. As it was, he still couldn’t quite believe this was happening, even though Hangman’s tongue was currently in his mouth.

in the middle - buddie/natalia, rated E Eddie jogged up to Buck’s apartment, whistling absentmindedly as he played with his keys. They were planning to go out to a bar tonight for a couple of drinks and then come back to Buck’s for a movie. Eddie would admit that he didn’t really want to go out tonight, would much rather stay in and get all of Buck’s attention on him. But Buck was really excited to try this new bar and Eddie couldn’t say no to him.

help me to help myself - bellarke, rated E Agreeing to live with Bellamy was not, objectively, one of Clarke’s better ideas. Crushing on her college roommate’s older brother turned best friend? An even worse idea. They had been best friends for years now and the pining was getting a bit ridiculous.

make me crawl, make me beg, make me bleed - hannigram, rated E Hannibal let out a gasp as he was pressed against the filthy brick wall of the alleyway outside the night club. He could feel the beat of the music pulsing along the wall. The guy he had picked up took his gasp as one of pleasure, grinning in a way that he probably thought was seductive. But to Hannibal, it was sleazy. Ugly. Beneath him. Yet, this is the guy Will had chosen and since it was Will’s birthday, Hannibal had left the choice of mark up to Will.

tagging: @bigfootsmom, @usersiren, @morganofthefairies, @swiftietartt, @princessfbi, @loserdiaz, @monsterrae1, @giddyupbuck, @father-salmon, @underwater-ninja-13, @hoodie-buck, @spagheddiediaz, @malewifediaz, @eddiiediaz, @eddiebabygirldiaz, @spotsandsocks, @hippolotamus, @wikiangela, @theotherbuckley, @watchyourbuck, @fortheloveofbuddie, @buck-coded, @daffi-990, @911onabc, @arthursdent, @disasterbuckdiaz, and @maygrantgf

[anastayskinni]

25 THINGS TO DO WHILE FASTING THAT YOU PROBABLY HAVEN'T DONE YET!

1. Read 5 chapters of a book.

2. Learn a new language.

3. Figure out how many steps your houses hallway is.

4. If you aren't prone to binging, organize the pantry. Looking at food is fun, eating isn't.

5. Write an essay. It can be on anything.

6. Go around your house/apartment/room and find any scuffs/marks/ruined paint and fix it.

7. Empty that dishwasher.

8. Brush your hair 100 times on each side.

9. Plan an elaborate run away plan to a different country. Pretty fun.

10. Just dance. No you don't need to own the game. Most dances are uploaded on YouTube and burn about 30 cals each.

11. Pick out baby names. I fear most of us are infertile or don't want kids but it's a fun idea.

12. Go down a 4chan rabbit hole.

13. Make a journal. Gather newspapers, paper, hot glue, stickers, gems whatever and sew together one.

14. Find a semi popular content creator but not too famous and spend time trying to find things out about them. Stalk the reposts, find the Tumblr they had 4 years ago, the tweet from 2012, the Facebook mom photos, their dad's mugshot. It's kinda creepy and keep it to yourself but is a great way to pass time.

15. Create an imaginary friend.

16. Make a time capsule and bury it.

17. Learn ballet. Plenty of classes on YouTube and time consuming.

18. Calculate an estimate of how many total years you've spent sleeping all together. Mines about 2.5 years spent sleeping in the 15 years I've lived.

19. Take your pet on a walk, go play with it. Your pet may be lonely don't let it be as miserable as you are.

20. Have a fashion show. Try on every item in your closet.

21. Plan an elaborate revenge plan on the girl who bullied you in middle school and that one guy who asked you out as a dare at recess.

22. Count how many decorations there are throughout your house.

23. Do a science experiment. What happens when you mix this and that? What is the maximum amount of items you can carry on your back? (Make sure you don't create mustard gas though)

24. Look up different world records for absurd things.

25. Snoop around in your siblings room.

[preciadosbass]

11/8/24 [PARAGRAPH 3 & 4!!! — draft from sunday. key & significant photo/s at end]

woke up at 10:20 and made myself breakfast. i ate it outside with boris in the sun and tried my best to be productive while being on my phone [e.g, make a fursona/oc/journal entry etc.] but failed miserably. i just scrolled on tiktok and saved a few videos i could use for outfit inspiration. i went back inside after 30+ minutes, got dressed [skinless shirt, dark cargo jorts + matching bracelets consisting of spiked cuffs and band bracelets, motorbike socks] and looked up a couple can tab bracelet tutorials. i know that i don’t have enough for the particular design i want to make, but i’m getting there. my dad’s sister, my aunt, has multiple pepsis a day and has been collecting can tabs for me.

i went back next door with my sister after giving up on the bracelet for the moment and saying goodbye to boris. when i arrived i just sat on my own while my sister went on the swings. a group of girls my age walked past and laughed at me and after a few minutes i got called over with the other kids to make a keyring. i honestly much preferred that but i think the staff thought i was a part of the actual camp anyways so i don’t think i had much choice either way. i picked out a star shaped template and a blue floral sticker to go on it. i stuck it on, but couldn’t cut around the star completely — so i put it in my bag for another time at home where i can use one of those tiny knives to carve all the imperfections out.

once id done i went back over to the bouncy castle. this time round, only 8 people were allowed on it at a time and this younger girl was being really bratty about it, as in acting like she owned the place, which was odd, because yesterday it was fine and nothing bad happened. but kids are just like that. she kept on going around to people and launching herself onto them, she also decided to boot me over and over again on my bruised shin which was fun 😭. i tried telling her we don’t even know eachother and ive just been sitting there but she didn’t care. she kicked me and almost everyone else off using her sister that was my age so i got off and just sat beside it while people watching.

the same member of staff from the keyrings sat next to me and just exclaimed ‘panic! at the disco?’ — reffering to my panic! band bracelet. i nodded and she started speaking about liking that type of music too. more when she was younger, but she’s still into it, she said. she took out her phone and started asking me if i’ve been to see any live bands. i told her about me seeing the mcr + fall out boy tributes, pierce the veil, cavalera conspiracy, and my upcoming concerts. [slipknot, falling in reverse, possibly the tributes again but idk was its the day before fir]. she started speaking about how she has family in scotland and therefor goes to festivals there a lot and then casually says she’s seen fall out boy 4+ TIMES??? i literally could’ve curled up and died right there and then after hearing that come out of her mouth.

she also spoke to me about seeing slipknot 20 years ago, and then she showed me one of her friends instagram pages. then she came out with that that friend, has another friend, who is the sibling of someone from PIERCE THE VEIL?? WHAT THE FUCK. i was so taken aback but she unfortunately couldn’t remember what their name was because they were told years ago now — and she couldn’t find pictures of them together despite trying as the friend is a concert photographer and it’s importable to sort through the thousands of photos.

i out of interest asked if she’d seen linkin park and she said she did at milton keynes in 2008?? with jayZ?? RAAA. i got told that everyone was leaving in 30 minutes so i stayed speaking to her until people started loading themselves onto their coach and i set off for home. it was really cool speaking to that woman and its a shame i’ll probably never see her again or get to know any more info. although it was awesome meeting someone like me that was quite a lot older. when i got home i fussed boris on the driveway and had a 20 minute nap before leaving for my other aunts house [6pm]. i said goodbye to boris, and on the way to the car, my dad showed me this injured butterfly. it was a shame because it looked so young. i held it and then placed it onto a bush before leaving. [photo at end]

since the concert, i’ve been listening to the setlist on repeat. so i obviously did even more on the way to my aunts, although the drive is really short. once i got there i stayed in the living room for a bit and greeted the family of mine that was there. there was only my grandad, his fiancé, my aunt + uncle, and one of my cousins girlfriends there. that cousin in question is on holiday, the other moved out, and the other also moved out. i didn’t really know what to speak about and my parents sparked a conversation between the others anyway so i went to see what my sister was up to. she was playing fnaf security breach so i watched her.

i had my phone out ready to record her getting jumpscared and i caught a video of her doing exactly that over moondrop. i’m surprised that i’ve never watched anyone play security breach before even though i was really excited when it came out. i don’t usually watch my sister play stuff unless it’s the last of us/the evil within/silent hill at 8:30 i stopped watching jay and went for a walk with my mum, dad, aunt, + grandads fiancé. [+ archie and my aunts dog, charlie.] we couldn’t be too long because charlie has bad diabetes and can’t do much now. we came across one of my aunts friends on our way, she accidentally called me he and didn’t correct herself which made me feel SO euphoric considering i’m not out.

she spoke about lifeguarding or something and once done, we went round to this field i used to always play in as a kid. i went in the park to spark some nostalgia and my dad pushed me on a swing for the first time since i was like 7. we walked for about 40 minutes. once i got back to my aunts i went on pinterest to look at some diys. i saved a photo example of how to make a can tab bracelet, a cardboard minecraft sword, a cardboard coffin shelf, a little fairy/elf house thing made up of pebbles, a cardboard direction sign, a bottlecap tortoise, and a number of other things i dont know how to explain. after i couldnt seem to find anything else, i watched my sister play fnaf a bit more. we had to leave so i stopped and got ready for home at 12.

i don’t really remember what i did when i got home, but it would’ve been the same as always. maybe a small nap, then obviously questions about boris, then i say goodnight to boris. i went to sleep at 3.

🗝️ — boris/my cat, archie/my family’s dog

have a good day/night O_o

[thecaroliner]

After almost six months I think I’m finally ready to talk about what happened to my dog to get it off my chest and maybe this will help others prevent this happening to their dogs.

About 2-3 ago we began noticing a few changes in Chibi that we just associated with age. He was 10-11 at that point so obviously he was slowing down a little bit but we also noticed how itchy he had become. It seemed like all day every day he was gnawing and scratching at himself, sometimes to the point of drawing blood. His vet basically shrugged and said “idk try this prescription shampoo” we tried it. There was a small improvement but really didn’t do enough for him. As time went on he became more and more miserable so he was finally prescribed a pill and a monthly shot to help with the itching. Again, it did ease his symptoms somewhat but not like it should have. His vet seemingly just didn’t care enough to try anything.

So last year he began losing hair, like a LOT of hair. Especially on his tale. His underside was slimy too, and he smelled awful despite having a bath pretty much every other day. It was getting to be a little gross to even pick him up. He was freezing all the time because of how little hair he had.

So finally, in around January, I took him to the vet one day because his eyes were leaking really badly. The vet seeing him that day was like a traveling vet and it was her first time at that clinic. She was much more concerned about his itching and lack of hair rather than his eyes, and when I told her his history she said “well it sounds like the regular vet has just been trying to put a band aid on his symptoms and not get to the root of the issue.” I am eternally grateful for this woman because she was determined to find the cause of it and it lead to a diagnosis of hypothyroidism. All his symptoms, his lethargy and itchiness and hair loss, his overproduction of sebum was all related to that. Pretty much within a few days of him receiving thyroid medication, he was like a new dog.

He suddenly had energy again. He would play and run around. His hair began growing back and he stopped itching and smelling bad. My baby, who we were afraid was just slowly dying from age, was like a puppy again. I am so so so grateful that he got to spend the last few months of his life full of energy again.

And then came April. One night, after a completely normal day with him, and he threw up around 11 pm. No big deal, he throws up from time to time. But then he did it again, and again, and again rapid fire. He was shaking and walking around like he was scared. Three years prior, he had shown these same symptoms and the emergency vet concluded he had eaten something toxic (to this day we have no idea what it could’ve been) and in kidney failure but was able to get him on some fluids and meds and he was good as new.

Mom and I were afraid this was happening again, so at midnight we loaded him into the car and took him to the ER vet. $800 and some fluids later and they said “well, he could possibly have pancreatitis but just monitor him and follow up with his regular vet.”

We take him to the vet a few days later. “Oh, I see he was diagnosed with pancreatitis.” We were shocked because the ER vet said it was maybe a possibility and not a definite. But okay, he has pancreatitis. So now he has to be on an extremely bland died of boiled chicken and rice and some prescription dog food.

He did fine for the next week or so, but then one day just stopped eating. He didn’t even want his favorite snacks like peanut butter. He just sat around the house, but he was sitting up as though laying down would be too difficult for him. He kept begging to go outside and try to potty but he couldn’t. Even days later when nothing was in his stomach at all he was trying to go.

I take him to the vet one morning and tell them the symptoms. “Well, just get him to eat a bland diet and it’ll ease his symptoms” he. Is not. Eating. I went home frustrated. That afternoon he seemed to be in tremendous pain so I took him back, and this time they weighed him. He’d lost 4 pounds in just a matter of days. Not one person at that vet office seemed even mildly concerned about this.

This bitch of a vet tech pulls me into a room and goes “okay, so tell me exactly what is going on because you and your mom keep giving us conflicting answers about if he’s eating or not, so what’s the deal” HE. ISN’T. EATING. My mom and I were both telling them that. I don’t know what the confusion is. He got more fluids and we left once more with no answers.

And then 4 days later he was gone. On his last night he began sounding really congested when he breathed and the next morning the vet said his pancreas was just failing I guess and the mucus he was producing was from his lungs and there was nothing they could do. And that was the end.

I found out shortly after that undiagnosed hypothyroidism can lead to pancreatic issues and failure in dogs.

My baby suffered for 2 years because his vet didn’t bother trying to really fix his problem. And then he finally, FINALLY gets to feeling normal again only to go from a little sick to dead in just 2 weeks.

It really just felt like the vets office was in the mindset of “oh he’s old so we aren’t gonna bother doing much for him”. Life expectancies for his breed can go up to 15-17 years so he probably still had quite a life left ahead of him.

I miss him so much.

[xxsksxxx]

Almost Heaven

Summary:

Mulder’s attempt to find more exciting cases to investigate while stuck in the bullpen turns into another weekend trip to the forest.

Meanwhile, Scully is faced with a tempting offer that could change both her future and their lives.

This story is complete, and I’m going to post one chapter a day.

AO3 | Back to the Beginning | @today-in-fic

Chapter 9: Take Me Home

Washington, D.C. Scully’s apartment Sunday, November 29th, 1998, 10:55 am

Mulder pulled into an empty spot in front of Scully’s apartment and turned to look at his partner. He could only see the back of her head since she was again staring out the side window, obviously deep in thought.

Mulder turned the key in the ignition, and the motor died; the metallic ping of the cooling motor was the only sound in the car. “Scully, we’re here,” he said softly.

She turned to him and blinked, like coming back from miles away, and looked around. “Thanks, Mulder,” she said hastily, turning to open her door.

He put a hand on her arm, and she stopped moving. He hesitated, then took a deep breath and asked despite his better judgment. Mulder knew he was pushing her, but he couldn’t just leave like that. “Scully, please. What’s going on?” he asked softly. “I know I promised to give you space, but this is driving me crazy. Is it because of that phone call from earlier?”

She exhaled, her shoulders slumping. “It’s—it’s complicated, Mulder.”

“I figured,” he replied, his voice soft but steady.

She lowered her head and began twisting her hands, which made him even more nervous. Scully didn’t tend to get stressed easily. He’d seen her walk into situations without blinking. Watching her sit here in his car, fidgeting, had him fear for the worst.

“I got a call Friday evening,” she said finally. “From Skinner.”

“Skinner?” Mulder asked, confused. “What did he want?”

“He offered me a job.” Scully stilled her hands and looked back up. “A really good one. A chance to make a real difference again, to do something meaningful,” she explained, her eyes never leaving his. “This could be a chance to get back to investigating the truth again.”

Mulder felt his heart rate pick up. “And you’re thinking about taking it,” he asked, his voice far calmer than he felt.

Scully didn’t reply.

“What about me? Don’t you think what we did on the X-Files together was meaningful?”

“You know it’s not that,” she said hurriedly, reaching out and putting her hand back on his arm. “But we aren’t on the X-Files anymore. And it’s just—” she took a deep breath, “it’s just that even if we try to work around that, do our own investigations off the book, or try to make a difference, it feels like we’re turning in circles. One step forward, two steps back. I could finally try to make progress on our work again in an official capacity. And I’m sure I could get you in as well after a while.” Her eyes were moving all over his face, and he felt like she was trying to convince him as much as herself. For the first time in weeks, he wanted to pull his arm away, to not have her touch him.

“But that’s not the only reason,” she continued. “My life is passing me by, Mulder. I’m 34 years old—and what do I have to show for it?” She laughed bitterly, and Mulder felt it like a stab to his heart. “A bit more than a year ago, I was lying in a hospital bed, thinking I had wasted my whole life. That I was going to die, having made no difference at all. All those evil men were still doing what they had been doing, experimenting on women, injecting viruses and antidotes, implanting chips, and playing god with people’s lives.” He watched as her lower lip started to tremble, and her eyes filled with tears. But she didn’t allow them to spill. No, Scully didn’t give in to tears about what had been done to her, he thought miserably.

“I even offered to put the blame on me, so my death wouldn’t be completely without meaning. Remember?” she continued, and Mulder wished he had never asked. He didn’t want to hear any of this. He didn’t want to think about those days when he thought he’d lose her. And he didn’t want to think about wasting lives and walking in circles.

Scully must’ve seen the panic in his eyes because she put her hand over his hands, and he noticed for the first time that he’d been twisting the car keys back and forth across his palm.

“And it’s not just about work. It’s also about me. About wanting to live life, to experience what I dreamed of when I was lying in that hospital bed, praying I would get another chance.” Her gaze never wavered from him, and where she’d been fidgeting earlier, she was as calm as she could be now. “I don’t want to waste any more time, Mulder. I don’t want to keep waiting for what I can’t have,” she whispered.

Mulder studied her face. All he wanted for her was to be happy and to have her know that she made so much of a difference in so many ways. All those people whose lives she had touched, the bad things she had prevented with her science, her sharp mind, all the comfort she had given with her compassion and her determination. But most of all, he wanted her to know that she had made all the difference in HIS life. Without her, he couldn’t even imagine what life would be like for him. She made him who he was—his anchor, his baseline, the reason he hadn’t given up.

The problem was, he had thought he’d made that clear a few months ago. His mind flashed back to his hallway, cradling her head against his shoulder, feeling her breath on his lips, and he closed his eyes against the pain of fearing that he might never feel that again.

Mulder could hear her breathing calmly, now that she’d said what she had meant to say, and he quickly opened his eyes. There was a mix of uncertainty and vulnerability in her eyes that he couldn’t quite place—like she was trying to tell him something that she didn’t quite dare to say. But it was gone in an instant, and all he could see was her determination. He placed his hand over hers and turned to her fully. “Scully, you do make a difference. Every day. Not only at work but most of all in my life.”

She shook her head and turned her face away. “I don’t know, Mulder. Lately, it feels like everything is standing still,” she whispered. “Like WE are standing still.”

He squeezed her hands beneath his to get her attention, and she looked back over to him. There was the vulnerability again like she was trying to tell him something that was just out of his reach. He frowned. “Scully, you are the most important person in my life! I can’t even imagine doing this without you. I don’t even want to! Life without you—,” he sighed. “There just wouldn’t be any point.”

She looked at him, her eyes flicking all over his face, and he could see the uncertainty. All of a sudden, he felt like the most egotistical jerk. Since the summer, he’d always waited for the other shoe to drop—that she’d regret staying after all—especially after they’d been assigned to Kersh and his useless shit detail.

And he’d expected just such a call as the one from Skinner, where someone would realize what an amazing agent they had hiding away in the bullpen. And that she would finally be tired of constantly losing the things she wanted, gaining nothing in return.

Nothing but me and the chance to uncover the truth, that is, he thought morosely. But that had been his quest, from when he was 12 years old, and there really hadn’t been a choice for him. This was his destiny, the purpose of his life.

But for her? Yes, there were choices. And while she kept coming back again and again, he had always wondered when it would be too much. When that one thing would happen, that would be one bridge too far, and she’d have enough. And it seemed like she had finally gotten that offer that had made her reach this point.

Mulder closed his eyes against the pain in his heart and braced himself for what he knew he had to do. This was a choice she had to make. Staying with him and with the vague chance of getting the X-Files back had to be something she wanted—not something she felt obligated she had to do. All attempts to convince her—to talk her into it—would be wrong. Even if I thought for a minute, anyone had a chance to talk Scully into anything she didn’t want, he thought.

He opened his eyes and took both of her hands in his, looking at her earnestly. “I want you to be happy, Scully. If this job is what you need, and want, then you should take it.” He swallowed, and his throat felt like he was choking on glass shards. “But whatever you decide, please know that you are very much valued and needed in my life as well.”

He gave her a crooked smile and let go of her hands, and she looked at him for a few long moments, then slowly nodded and turned towards the door, pushing it open.

She stepped out, pausing to take another long look at him. “Thank you, Mulder.”

Mulder nodded wordlessly and watched her grab her bag from the trunk and move into her building. He didn’t leave for a long time.

[whumpshaped]

I have been reading whump since this year started and I have a lot of inspiration to start writing too, but I'm not that good at writing plus english is not my first language, I'm afraid I won't be able to find the correct words

Do you have any advice for me?

okay i was in your exact position 5 years ago and here's what i think

just start. i was incredibly nervous when i started posting but it turned out fine and i'm still alive. nobody was mean to me, nobody ever said "oh hey i see you made a mistake there, i bet you're not a native speaker OR a real writer". in fact, turns out a LOT of us are not native speakers! so just start. it will be ok :)

write stuff you enjoy and tag appropriately. don't try to hop on what's popular, just write whatever you're into, and your writing will find your audience

try to trigger warn as best as you can but know the responsibility to click away when something is triggering lies with the reader. if you get a mean anon about posting something super whumpy that you tagged thoroughly, that they refused to click away from, and they demand you never post whumpy stuff again, just delete and move on

in general... if you get hate, delete and move on

when i first started, i was so afraid of everyone that i just posted my own writing and never interacted. i wish i have! reblog stuff! leave tags! send asks on or off anon! 99% of people here are very kind and will be very appreciative of that, and you might make awesome friends

writing advice posts are more so suggestions than Rules, but they can be very helpful

thesaurus is your best friend, and don't worry, it's not "cheating", native speakers use it too. (was that only my worry? maybe so. but i'm including it anyway.)

likewise if you have to translate a word... well so what? that doesn't mean you're not writing banger stories

you don't have to post perfect chapters with full worldbuilding every day. you can post snippets. you can post nameless drabbles. you can post a 2 sentence incoherent prompt. you can post whatever you want, it's your blog and you make the rules, so don't make ones that suffocate you and make you miserable :)

pet whump usually takes off and gets lots of notes, nameless drabbles usually get more notes than big oc stories because they require less commitment, and prompts and memes you spent 2 seconds on will take off and get more notes than any of your other posts. that's just how it is. try not to get discouraged about this. i know we all post for validation at the end of the day and there's nothing wrong with that, but try to remember that number of notes ≠ quality of your writing

read as much as you can! it helps build vocabulary and you'll pick up phrases and stuff that you can then use in your own writing!

JUST WRITE. i was a much worse writer 5 years ago than i am now. inevitably as you write more and improve you will look back and think "holy shit, i thought THIS was appropriate to post?? i spent 5 hours proofreading this and i wrote terryfying???" but that just means you came a long way and now you write better stories :)

just try to have fun :) make an intro post, tag it with #whump community or #whump intro, and you'll already have 10 friends. and just post whatever makes your heart sing! i believe in u!

[elf-simp]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers (ू•‧̫•ू⑅)♡

Round 1

Gonna get a little obscure with this one

A nice cup of coffee. I used to be a HUGE coffee hater until like 2 years ago when I found videos done by a very convincing British man who showed me so many different ways to make it. After seeing his videos I bought a pour-over maker and a coffee grinder to try it out and my elation upon finding out coffee didn't have to be bitter sadness juice 100% of the time cannot be understated. Actually being able to pick flavor notes out of a drink I'd despised for SO long was like seeing heavens gate open LMAO. Though I do hate that I am now hopelessly dependent on it...

Sleeping on the floor. I had to get rid of my normal bed a WHILE ago now but in the process of doing that I got this like 3 inch thick memory foam "bed topper" that I've been using as a floor mattress since and my god. Not only do I actually FIT on the thing (being 6.5ft/198~cm is fun :^) ) It was the first time I'd actually had a decent nights sleep since I was like 14. I tried going back to a 'normal' framed bed a year ago and was so miserable that I got back on the floor in the middle of the night.

Mountain ranges. The raw might of the earth splitting the sky has got me actin' unwise, sorry. Like, the earth loving itself so much that it's own embrace reaches heaven... UGH... Just thinking about the time and force required for them to form has always astounded me. Also the fact that some of them are volcanoes? "Timeless" stone gods that can at any moment unleash hell? I'm so normal about mountains and I'm SO happy I live somewhere that has them.

Sunrise, though it's so rare I get to see it. I'd argue that the colors of a sunrise are better than a sunset, sorry sunset enjoyers. Watching the black of night fade into a soft and hazy amber glow and then shifting to purple as it finds it's gentle blue... Knowing the day has begun when the cold of the night fades away for the days warm embrace. Hearing nature come back after a long desolate darkness. I would chew on the sunrise if I could.

Aggron, yes the pokemon. I love you my giant steel dinosaur that eats train tracks as a baby. I love you rock polish/headsmash sweeper. I love you territorial mountain dwelling bastard. I love you hyper physical defender mega evolution.

[such-a-barbarian]

Weekly Tag Game!

I've been MIA on vacation with the family, so I've missed a few of these. But I am now back in the land of ice and snow so figured I hop on this one quick! Thanks to @francesrose3, @juliakayyy and @jrooc for this week's tags and to all the lovelies who tagged me last week in things I didn't respond to. 😝

name: Kell

age: closer to Noel then Cameron

star sign: a non-believing Aries

your first language: English

second language: I can speak a grade 9 Ontario level French, which basically means I can say very useful phrases like "I am a pineapple in a library".

favorite lip product: The Body Shop has a line of Hemp products including a lip balm that I am a big fan of.

the best food dish you can make without a recipe: My hubby is a big fan of the meatballs I make. I also make a pretty mean hidden veggie mac and cheese (the things you learn with toddlers at home...)

If you drink tea, what kind? I have a cup of Tetley orange pekeo every morning.

If you drink coffee, what roast do you usually get? I do not drink coffee

favorite thing to watch on youtube right now: Besides Gallavich scenes on repeat? My top watched channel is the Try Guys. 🤷🏻‍♀️

favorite thing to watch on youtube in 2012: Honestly, probably Buzzfeed. lol

favorite item of clothing right now: My oversized bright pink hoodie from my local independent ice cream shop, with the most adorable ice cream logo on it.

favorite item of clothing in 2012: probably also some type of oversized hoodie

fandom

three movies you recommend: Not really sure if these fit the 'fandom' category but my 3 fav movies of all time: The Princess Bride, Best in Show and The Newsies.

your favorite concert: This is tough, I've seen a lot of great shows! But many moons ago when my hubby and I were first dating Everlast came to a music fest in town. My hubby is a huge fan so we went together and it was a miserable day, pouring rain and cold, but we had SUCH a good time. Cause of the rain it was a pretty small but mighty crowd and Everlast was awesome. It is just such a good memory for me!

have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion? Nope. This is the only fandom I have ever really participated in and it's been lovely!

have you ever left a fandom because of the fans? Please see above

the best tv show you watched last year: Schimgadoon! Just finishing season 2 now and I am so very sad season 3 wasn't picked up.

do you have a fancasting you just can’t let go of? I will never be over the fact that Arianna Grande was cast as Glinda in the Wicked Movie when they could’ve had Dove Cameron.

a ship you’ve abandoned: I was super into Belle and Shawn from Days of Our Lives back in the day. I read a bunch of fanfic, but never really interacted in the fandom. But once the original actors left the show and I grew out of high school they lost appeal to me.

on a scale of 1-10 how willing are you to share your ao3 history? haha. share with who? on tumblr? probably 10 - nothing would shock any of you. With a random person in my everyday life...probably zero. haha

do you have a fandom tattoo? (do you want one?) I am tattoo free and at this point in my life will mostly remain that way.

what fandom do you wish was bigger? 🤷‍♀️

has a finale ever ruined a show for you? Definitely. The worst for me was How I Met Your Mother. It still makes me so mad.

have you…

swam in an ocean? Many times. Just last week in fact! Thank you, Mexico!

ever been vegan/vegetarian? Nope, we try to do meatless Monday in our house to mix things up but I enjoy meat too much to go full vegetarian.

gone skinny dipping? yup. It is a backcountry camping must!

gone skiing? A ton! It's been a few years since being pregnant/having babies isn't conducive to skiing, but I adore it. It is my favourite winter activity!

been to a convention? nope.

I’ll tag @tanktopgallavich @transmickey @callivich @zutaralesbian @iansw0rld @krysmiss @lupeloto @catluvver118 If you feel like it this week!

[gu6chan]

tell us about barnabas 👀

YIPPPEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

Okay so first right off the bat i owe you an apology, you were so kind to reach out and this ask is like a month old and i actually finished it 2 weeks ago but thought "Barnabas' birthday is on the 27th, isn't it?" so i actually scheduled it for there 😭 im so sorry if it felt like i forgot about you!!!! i never forget about my asks, i swear skgdhbjhfd especially not as kind as this!!! i just take an extremely long time answering them, i promise aaaaa....

OKAY, SO (I may want to warn ahead of time for warnings of murder, CSA and general violence/mistreatment of kids)

There's a WHOLE bunch that i could go into in how his story DEVELOPS but i'll try my best just to give a basic rundown otherwise this could last forever!! There's going to be a few details left unsaid for the sake of brevity and simplicity since it's a lot but! I will do my best to explain this coherently 🫡 THANK YOUUUUU SO MUCH FOR ASKING ABOUT HIM IVE BEEN WORKING ON THE DOODLE HERE FOR THE PAST COUPLE DAYS SO I COULD DO THIS ASK JUSTICE LMAO

So!!! Generally speaking, Barnabas (His full name being Barnabas Johannes Mandalay) is a very important character in the little story I have!! It's divided up into four main parts which make up the primary story, with a couple side stories here and there :3<

Barnabas isn't really seen in most of the story till about the last moment, but he's certainly there!! He also gets to be a "protagonist" of his own story, Garden of Genesis, which is sort of like a de-facto "prequel" to the four main bits? That said, that will probably be the section of his story I cover here as it's.... literally HIS story lol Honestly, whether I'll ever do anything with this story at all or just keep it in my head I'm not even sure, so I'm thrilled whenever I get to yap about it!!!

But to explain who Barnabas actually is, he was born on October 27th, 1697, the son of the duke Johannes Mandalay and his wife, Rosemary, and the twin of a stillbirth, Edmund. Barnabas was deemed unlikely to survive due to an extremely weak heart that made even the act of walking difficult, and given the high infant mortality rate of the time, he was sadly cast aside with expectations he would die. His parents didn't want him dying miserably, so they placed him in the nursery they had prepared for them with plans to pick him up by next morning.

However, two servants, Empathy (11) and Henry (10), would eventually be led to the nursery holding the young baby Barnabas that night by a certain crow, which I'll talk about later. (Technically it was Empathy who was led to it and Henry who later stumbled across them both after hearing a ruckus and deciding to investigate, but...) The two decide to try their best and take care of Barnabas in secret, a task that they end up being pretty good at for two pre-teens! lmao

So time flies, and Barnabas is introduced back to his family! Of course, he's alive, but still very weak, not being able to leave past the premises of the manor and also needing to be pushed around in a wheelchair to get anywhere at all. His mother loves him and pays him attention enough, though,,, she's also kinda not getting her hopes up for him to STAY but his father is the exact opposite, even if he IS kinda skeptical that Barnabas is going to live, he still showers him with attention and praise and essentially spoils the poor boy rotten to the point everyone was kinda "???? what are you doing" 😭

Most IMPORTANTLY though, Barnabas' father was his main foray into religion, which Barnabas was absolutely TAKEN with. One of Barnabas' most cherished items is the small red bible his father left him, which he continued to carry around to the end of his life like a pacifier lmao

So skip ahead 2 years, his father DOES passes away in a freak accident and his mother is left to take the title due to Barnabas' VERY young age at that point, additionally not really able to find it in her to come back to her "Maternal" senses in her nihilism that came with the realisation of how fragile things really were. Barnabas is then raised by his servants (Now grown ofc), who he's come to regard as parents in their own right, though he sorely misses his mother, and considers his engagement to his cousin Maria a type of "gift" or sign from her. Barnabas falls into obsession with religion, setting on a dream to start a family on earth and become an angel when he dies so he can answer the prayers of people all over the world <3 he's a little baby lol

Here's a little thing I doodled for this ask (The colouring is a bit off, my apologies!!), Henry and Empathy at 24 and 25, respectively. Barnabas would be around 12, where most his story takes place! And I feel so bad for doing it but seeing how much I've yapped just getting his character established i might have to REALLY summarize... (This kid is REALLY important so there are just so many threads and characters to introduce to make the story make sense and aaaaaaa!!!) So in the most basic terms, his story goes like this: Barnabas, entirely dependent on religion as means to fill up his lack of any real parental figure in his life (Henry and Empathy are LESS than suitable parents and I dunno if I'll get to that in this post, but hopefully!!), is caught in the middle of a series of sadistic murders of servants in his own estate while trying - and failing - to move on by relying on unfortunately cold and/or misled people, such as his fiancée, "friends", and caretakers. this is really long so lemme just....

So the first character who he really meets on his story is Edwin: fast forward to when Barnabas is 12, while visiting the forest on his birthday he comes across a trapped crow. He frees the crow, only to find a boy greeting him later that night who came to thank him. Barnabas is very enamoured with this boy (unknowingly), initially only psychically at first, but coming to grow a,,,, romantic? emotional??? attraction later on (I'll opt for the best description being unhealthy emotional dependence, i think lol)? Edwin has a VERY important role with Barnabas but also another character! Mentioned rn Maria: Barnabas' cousin/fiancée, NOT a friendly person!!!! NOT a friendly person, she's the main,,, antagonist? of the work? So long story short she had a more or less normal upbringing for the times, though just had completely detached herself from typical human morality as a result. She ends up making a sort of faustian pact with Edwin after stumbling across him (All according to keikaku on his end) and in line with seeing humans more as objects and ofc as previously mentioned, having detached herself from any emotional permanence, expresses interest in watching them die and seeing the fallout from it. She has Edwin do the dirty work to avoid getting any suspicion or dirt on her hands, and initially plans to kill Barnabas as a "final end" before allowing Edwin to take her soul, though through the story ends up... Not falling in love, persay, but growing a sort of emotional permanence to him that results her forcing him into a suicide pact of sorts towards the end of the story. She only ever kills 2 people.... technically?

Finally there's Samuel, who I forget exists half the time and is the NEWEST addition to the story, as the initial draft I wrote back in like 2011/2012 was in DESPERATE need for a B Plot i kid you not the original story was so fucking bad.... 😭 So I still don't have him PERFECTLY established and honestly he's a bit of a woob so I PERSONALLY don't care about him as much, but long story short he's hired as a servant in the MIDST of the murders (to everyone's surprise!!) after being plucked off the streets by Henry. He's slowly rotting away from like several STDs which,,, people aren't GREATLY aware of himself included (As was the bit of the times) but is kinda no one's favourite kid, there's rumours flying around that he's whoring himself out for his position and Empathy doesn't care for him because of how just his existence "threatens" the image of a family she had made for herself (More on that in a bit!!). And its like the kid didn't even do anything tf......... However, Barnabas, free from all the anti-Samuel slander and the such, sees this weird sickly kid staggering around and takes to him very quickly!!! This kind of sparks a certain infatuation on Samuel's end, who begins to fall in love with Barnabas off the simple fact he was one of the first people to him with human eyes. Samuel takes it upon himself to "Protect" Barnabas' purity, which comes to a point when he starts growing suspicious of Maria's role in all the murders. Unfortunately the feeling of "I need to get RID of this tramp" is returned as she figures Samuel is a prime target to frame for the murders should things ever go south. She crafts this brilliant scheme after Henry's sudden death, one death she did not have calculated, and linking it back to Samuel herself. Unfortunately, this ends in complete failure on both ends after Samuel attempts doing away with her in a blind fit of rage after Barnabas grows deathly ill and he overhears Maria confess to Barnabas her role behind the murders and form their aforementioned suicide pact. Maria manages to wrestle the knife out of his hands and stabs him multiple times, leaving him to bleed out before she seeks to inform Empathy of his suicide. Interestingly enough, Empathy does dare to state her suspicion on it, however! Maria, more than aware of Empathy's feelings towards Samuel, is just like "Well it doesn't matter bc its easier for you now isnt it lol" and so the whole thing gets passed off as a suicide. Barnabas does NOT take the news well, however, and even despite Edwin's VERY panicked efforts to keep him alive, he ends up passing away from his sudden onset "illness" later on (Illness was really a pretense, what actually happened was Empathy deciding to let him by smothering him in his sleep because at that point, his declining psychical and mental state as a result of Samuel's death was enough to "ruin" her familial perception of her, Barnabas, and Henry to the point she couldn't bear it. She justifies it to herself by simply claiming it to be a necessary mercy kill, unable to fully face up to what she did or the thought it was based in.)

The general truth behind Empathy and Henry is that Empathy was raised by the church, and through the circumstances of her birth that led her to being raised by the church, she was forbidden from having a family or any children of her own. This led to her drive to become a nanny to begin with, eventually meeting Henry through their stumbling across Barnabas together and over time, either as a result of developing a sort of crush on him or developing a crush on him because of the "Father" mold she began to ascribe to him, crafting a sort of "mold" for her hypothetical perfect family and reacting,,, poorly? to anything that didn't fit within it. She ignored how Henry grew up to become a predator and his rampant sexual abuse of several younger members of the staff, and outright despised Samuel while not outright showing it despite her "Motherly" role to the rest of the Mandalay household. This is entirely because Samuel wasn't as quiet and couldn't "Hide" the effects of his abuse as clearly as the others, thus "interfering" in the perfect family image she had constructed for Henry, Barnabas and herself.

Of course, there's a few smaller bits I left out for the sake of brevity (as you can see i am a master of it) and the fact SOME bits of the story might be better fitted for another post (There's one important bit about Barnabas and Edwin's relationship because funny enough, it fits the story of two other characters better, being Zinnia and Alaundra!) , but!!! this is in reality like 0.001% of barnabas' story, after his death he ends up having his wish granted, somewhat, and becomes not just an angel, but a part of God himself. Barnabas' ensuing regret over this and the true purpose of his existence and becoming one with God is where things really kick off. Still though, despite starting off as one of my crappiest, In the Garden of Genesis and its characters have been developed into a story that has a really special place to me, I think! I don't talk about my OC's often since,,, I don't know how to explain it, for as often as I DO think about them, it never crosses my mind to talk about them? That said! Characters like Maria I roll around in my head constantly, and Edwin and Barnabas are just too cute lol <3 I really do apologise for how long it took me to get this out, but this being the first ask about any of my OC's, I REALLY wanted to do this justice!! It's a bit messy and I hope it's not too painful or awful to read, but this ask made my whole day when I got it.... and all the months it took me to answer it since then QwQ Thank you so much!!!!!!!

P.S: Because I couldn't find a place to put it, Edwin's name is actually Edward! "Edwin" is just a nickname Barnabas gave him after learning his name from Maria and it stuck (Much to his distaste).

[hearteyespierce]

🎶✨when u get this, list 5 songs u like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favourite followers (positivity is cool)🎶✨

oof this has been sitting in my inbox for AGES ella sorry!! i have so many opinions about music and i didn't have the energy to pick 5 when you first sent it lmao, i'm so sorry i forgot about it!!!

i've been on an I Only Listen To The Mountain Goats kick lately (in the literal sense, not in the podcast of the same name sense), but i will refrain from listing 5 mountain goats songs lmao, i do actually listen to a variety of stuff i promise 😅 though it will be difficult to narrow it down to only 1 TMG song if i'm being honest. edit post list creation: same w/ all the listed artists tbh. i think i got too involved/detailed on this lmao sorry.

when in comes to music, i get really connected to songs based on memories that get attached to them and am particularly invested in lyrics (vs my partner who is a musician and much more interested in bands doing things musically/technically unique/interesting) so my favs tend to be based on loving the lyrics first and the sound/what is interesting musically second.

but in no particular order:

Autoclave - The Mountain Goats (god this was a tough choice. Idk if heretic pride is my fav album of theirs but it IS very good. my fav album of theirs is, i think, impossible to choose. my friend dan made me a mixtape of TMG songs when I was 18 or 19 because he thought i'd dig them, and he was right. i've been in love with them ever since.) When I try to open up to you, I get completely lost / Houses swallowed by the earth, windows thick with frost / And I reach deep down within, but the pathways twist and turn / And there's no light anywhere, and nothing left to burn

Jealous - Camp Cope (this is from Running With The Hurricane, which is their latest album and it's gorgeous. it came out during the early days of COVID and i was living alone in LA in this miserable bachelor unit and would go on walks in the middle of the night in K-Town, where i was living at the time. i very vividly remember the first time i listened to it on one of those walks. this was also my Izzy song back in my intense ofmd days lmao. Camp Cope, my best friend Camp Cope) I'm so jealous / I'll take anything you give to me / Yeah, I'm so jealous / Oh, I'm laying at your feet / Take me, baby / You're never in the wrong / I'm so jealous / Yeah, I'm so jealous of your dog

Cactus Tree - Joni Mitchell (would have been very easy to pick literally anything from Blue but this is, i think, my fav of hers to listen to/sing along to. It's so full of longing, and Songs to a Seagull was her first album. it's so gorgeous. i've loved Joni since i was a little kid because she was my mom's favorite and i have so many good memories of listening to Court and Spark and her live album Miles of Aisles over and over and over again on the floor of the living room or in the car or on my portable cd player in the hallways at school. i used to both sing along to the songs and talk along, reciting her commentary between songs on Miles of Aisles 😅) She will love them when she sees them / They will lose her if they follow / And she only means to please them / And her heart is full and hollow / Like a cactus tree / While she's so busy being free

Easy to Love - Cayetana (i've been attached to Cayetana for years ever since I saw them open for Lemuria many years ago. even finding them through an experience w my abusive ex is not enough to dull my love for cayetana. this song makes me feel so many things and i love this whole album) And sometimes I can't articulate the words trapped in my head / The way the morning does its dizzy dance / And I can't get out of bed / I learn too late / I learn too late

Delicate, Petite & Other Things I'll never be - Against Me! (very difficult pick, Transgender Dysphoria Blues is my fav album of theirs, but I also love a lot of their earlier stuff. This song from Shape Shift With Me - and the whole album tbh - is excellent) I'm still waiting for the visions / Possession has yet to take hold of me / We all want to burn on a pyre / So tell me what kind of witch are you / The skin on your neck looks like a little thin / Don't go sticking it out for me / Like a beggar with a cold cup to fill / I am the dirt under your nails

some honorable mentions:

Easier - Nate Roy (Nate is a former coworker/friend of mine - we've drifted apart but he came out as trans when we were working together and the whole album is about his transition. i've listened to it countless times and it was part of what led to me realizing i was also trans.)

Red Wine Super Nova - Chappell Roan (idk that i need to link this one everyone knows Chappell lmao but still. I'm late to the game on Chappell Roan. i never actually listened to the album in full until this past August right after my cat died because i desperately needed something fun to listen to while i was driving bc most of my music is either sad or angry and would just encourage me to cry which is Not Safe while driving lmao. i fell in love instantly and i love this song so much)

Love Me, I'm a Liberal - Phil Ochs (i just love Phil Ochs and this song is just. funny and depressing and funny. so much of it is sadly still relevant and every time i listen to it, i think about writing an updated version of it with modern references. have genuinely asked my partner to teach me to play the guitar so i can do this. idk if anyone would even want to listen to it though lmao)

will send this ask to a few people but if anyone sees this and wants to do it, please feel free and tag me, i'd love to see your favs!