#i was looking through screenshots of the princess and the queen

[judesmoonbeauty]

Miss Fairytale Keeper, Come Have Fun With Us: Jude Jazza END

Translations will not include screenshots or CGs as mentioned here. Fan translation only. Not 100% accurate. Please expect grammatical errors. Cybird owns everything. Feel free to re-blog, but please do not post my translations elsewhere. Thank you, for you support! ☾.

When I reached out, it was Jude’s hand I took.

Jude: If ya let go of me, I won’t letcha off.

Kate: Okay!

He makes me stand up, and kicks away all those attacking me, one after the other.

Jude: Tch, what kind of management do they have to be so hated like this?

Kate: Should YOU be the one to say that about other people?!

Jude: Don’t say unnecessary things!

The ones who attacked me were thin, and looked very poor.

They’re people who’ve lost something very important to them through gambling.

Even if I do sympathize with them a little, it’s never an excuse to draw deadly weapons.

Jude: Run!

Punching and kicking, he defeats his enemies one after the other, pulling me along strongly, and as we head for the door, we dodge bullets in the thick black smoke.

As we left the casino, explosions sounded behind us.

We kept running until we reached a nearby port.

Jude: I’m havin’ a real shitty day.

Kate: Is it okay now?

Our fastened hands were easily released, and the warmth of my right hand cooled quickly.

Feeling a bit lonely, I opened my mouth to gloss it over.

Kate: In the end, we didn’t collect any evidence.

Jude: There’s evidence.

Kate: What?

I’m not sure where he got it from, but holding a thick ledger in his hands, he handed it to me.

When I looked inside, I saw things other than money that had been wagered in the casino so far, and a list of customers who received them alongside Viscount Smith’s signature.

Kate: When did you get this?!

Jude: Took it from that damned Viscount when the explosion happened.

(I couldn’t see because of the smoke, but I guess that’s what happened.)

Based on the overwhelming evidence, the casino will be brought to justice before her Majesty the Queen.

Just as I was feeling relieved over completing the mission, I suddenly remembered something.

Kate: If I had known that I was being used for collateral, I would’ve bet….

(I knew that Jude would win…..)

Then he made a disgusted expression…..

Jude: Our princess doesn’t seemta understand why she was prohibited.

As we stood facing each other, the sea breeze blew through his hair.

Jude: Ain’t no way someone who shows their emotions so easily could win.

Jude: Imagine how much a young woman without much money would hafta pay if she lost?

(Ah…..)

I recall the words of Viscount Smith and realize.

(Selling my body, experiencing atrocious things, the worst case scenario….)

A chill ran down my spine as I realized how naive I’d been.

The client list had records of women and children being sold, and I finally understood those repeated words had been for my sake.

(Jude said that he’d protect me.)

Feeling mixed emotions of his kindness and my own naivete, i bit my lip and looked down, but when his shoes came into view, I looked up.

Jude: Really, cantcha say thanks to the person who saved ya?

Kate: …! Thank you.

When I expressed my gratitude to him, who is foul-mouthed but kind,

Jude: Seems like Crown’s Fairytale Keeper has grown attached to the admirable Vogel.

Jude: Kissin’ the winner. I think ya wanted that bad personality.

Kate: That’s something Nica said on his own,

Jude: Such good friends that yer on a first name basis. (Jude’s angy face.)

His raised voice and pouty expression, seemed to indicate he was in a bad mood.

Jude: I mean, is the princess even bold ‘nuff to kiss a man herself.

Upset with his making fun of me, I confronted him.

Kate: It’s just a kiss, I can do it.

Jude: If so, then I’ll betcha won’t.

Kate: If I can kiss you?

Jude: I’ll do anythin’ ya say. Probably impossible anyway.

He’s so confident I can’t do it despite my enthusiasm.

We faced and stared at each other for a while,

(Where should I kiss him……) T-T on the lips.

I looked at his lips, but didn’t have the courage, so I felt conflicted,

Jude: ….Ridiculous. (I’m with him on this one.)

He turned on heel and walked away.

Kate: W-wait a minute!

I quickly grabbed his arm and stood on my tip toes as he looked back at me,

Jude: Huh?

I kissed his forehead.

Kate: ….I kissed you.

Kate: Now, please listen to what I have to say.

He put his hand to his forehead, his eyes slightly open,

Kate: I’m Crown’s Fairytale Keeper, not Vogel’s Fairytale Keeper!

Starting to feel embarrassed, I ran past him.

Kate: That’s why I’m going home!

A few seconds later, with the sound of him turning around, only one word was heard.

Jude: Kid.

(He’s making fun of me again…..!)

When I turned to say something back, I saw the softest expression on his face.

Kate: Huh……

It was as warm as sunlight, and it was the first time I’d seen it.

It felt like time had stopped for a moment,

Jude: What kinda dumb look are ya makin’?

His grumpy face returned immediately.

Jude: Hurry ‘n go home.

He started walking and I followed him quickly.

Kate: Please wait!

Perhaps the reason why I didn’t stand next to the swinging jacket that was a step ahead of me, was because the excitement I felt still hadn’t gone away.

[Master List] [Jude Epilogue]

Heh, jelly Jude. Pouty Jude. More of that please.

Dividers: @.adornedwithlight

Tags List: @sh0jun @theimaginativelyreticent @sapphire-323 @letter-from-afar @nateko @cosmowgyrall. @lunaaka

[satureja13]

Royal Outtakes

From their visit in Saarburg and others.

The goats may love the Royal Family but that doesn't seem to count for Kumo, Kiri's sheep ^^'

Or Jack's Little Goat. He didn't like that the Princess wanted to keep him from running after the Queen ^^'

When we arrived, Francine (Jeb's grandmother and one of the three witches) came running along in fear ö.Ö' I count that as a bad omen. That's two now. (First was Sai seeing Ji Ho's dead mother the other day...)

And of course it had been Vlad who was doing the stunt for the screenshot (woohooing the Princess ^^'). The way she looks at him <3 Maybe she's happy that here, ingame, he still has his chest hair :3

We spotted adult Vlad at the pond, he looks a bit confused :3

And Ji Ho would maybe be happy to know that Kiyoshi came over, only to see him ^^' (Ji Ho had been crazy for Kiyoshi since the beginning :3 )

When I took the screenshots, I glitched through the ground. So this is Willow Creek from far below ö.ö

And that's my favourite: Emmanuel Macron touching the hand of King Charles at the event of the 80th anniversary of the d day landings. Such a meaningful gesture!

The King: "Emmanuel! What are you doing? Not in front of all the people!" Emmanuel: "I want everyone to know that you are the King of my heart!" The King: "Oh Emmanuel!" Camilla: "Oh no..." Brigitte: "That was about time! I've been shipping them for ever!"

Valerian: 'Lunatic, do you want me to show you my new magic trick? I can make my wand vanish!' Lunatic blushes.

[jayietheriverwarrior]

First: Here

Next: LINK

Background again belongs to Disney, and was edited for use over here.

Annnnnnyway, y'all might remember the story I wrote back in dinosaur times about Zira's life growing up, "Fall to Hatred", where she grew up as a princess of the Pride Lands and was absolute best friends with Nala's mother Sarafina. I've majorly reworked my TLK headcanons and story since writing that, and while I don't have it in me to write a whole multi-chapter fanfic about it anymore, Zira and Sarafina's friendship, and Sarafina's personality and story, were definitely something I thought about a lot and I figured I could draw a few pieces about their lives and briefly explain the story for each one. So here we go!

First though, you might wanna read this piece about Zira's father, it'll explain a lot of the context.

~-~-~

Princess Ziara is the second born cub of the mutinous King Jadi, behind her older sister Princess Dunia. Sarafina is born and raised in King Jadi's pride alongside Zira and the two become inseparably close (yes they’re totally crushing hopelessly on each other.

Since Ziara is the second cub of the King, she becomes the leader of the Lion Guard (no magic roar in my headcanon, and the guard marks are brushed/stenciled on instead of magically appearing), with Sarafina as her Bravest. 'Fina is devoted to her best friend and will charge into any danger to protect her. She is a very stern, reserved, no-nonsense kind of lioness, hardened by the hardships of life in the Outlands (we'll get to that in a moment), determined to protect those she cares about.

When Sarafina and Ziara are young/middle teenagers, King Jadi dies in his attempt to take over the Pride Lands through tricking Taka, and King Ahadi finally takes full control of the Pride Lands and casts those still loyal to Jadi into the Outlands. Jadi’s furious widow, Queen Sharifu, vows revenge. She changes her name to Queen Shari (anger) to match the anger she feels in her heart and begins putting her pride through harsh training to become stronger to eventually take the Pridelands back.

Later on Shari arranges marriages among the young adult lions of the pride to create plenty of cubs to train to take over the Pridelands. Sarafina is betrothed to a fellow Guard member, a skinny but swift little male called Kimbia who serves as the Swiftest on Ziara's guard. They’re not in love, but they are friends, and neither blames the other for the less-than-ideal situation. Princess Dunia is also betrothed to one of the guard, the Keenest of Sight, a male called Tumbili, but she seems oddly reluctant to announce an engagement for Ziara.

Sarafina still loves her best friend, but over the years she becomes increasingly concerned about their queen’s violence and how Ziara seems to be swayed by her mother’s harsh training and desire for revenge. The scene in this drawing is one of probably many conversations they had with Sarafina trying to get her friend to see that her mother’s obsession with revenge and her harsh and often violent treatment of the pride was wrong, and a nervous Ziara who loves and respects her friend’s advice but won’t be convinced away from her mother’s teachings insisting that it’s fine ‘Fina, yeah mom can be harsh but she just wants everyone at their best, Ahadi and his heir have to be taken down, everything will be better when they get their home back. Sarafina, however, isn't fooled, and as time passes and more conversations like this happen and become more tense and fraught, her concern only grows...

~-~-~

So yeah, this time Zira leads her own Lion Guard of the Outlands, and Sarafina is her bravest!

I'm super super happy with how the drawing part of this turned out. Admittedly I did trace part of Sarafina's head from a screenshot of the movie to get it to look right. Oh well, I never trace, and it's from a movie not another independent artist, so... yeah. Sarafina's got a scar on the underside of her jaw (about the only place I could justify fitting one that wouldn't have been seen in the movie based on her angles we see her head at). She got it protecting Zira from something.

How did Sarafina end up in the Pridelands instead? How did Ziara end up becoming Zira? I'll get into all of that in the next drawing. ;)

[oh-my-damn]

https://twitter.com/arigcevans/status/1651237167035736067?s=46&t=tSkTHTmSoly8nVvw9W1R5w

she isn’t trying to shade you is she? bc ik you ain’t 40 but you posted her tweet

Nah that's not me but maybe she got my name mixed up with someone else LMAO

I've also never referred to myself as princess or queen

I also don't have a public blog

And I've never posted about where she works, the only thing I've ever posted about her is that screenshot lol

Maybe there's more than one Mandy out there LMAO but I feel like I'd know if I got doxxed since none of my shit is public 👀

I looked through her tweets and they must have the names mixed up 🤷🏻‍♀️ Bc none of it even fits for me lol

[acourtofthought]

You do know that another name for “Vasillia” is Vassa…? And that the other versions of the fairytale are called “The Firebird and Princess Vasillia,” which evidently involves the story of the Firebird (which is what Vassa is…?) The screenshot you included also spoke about Swan Lake at the same time… which tells the story of a girl who was forced to become a swan during the day, human by night - which again, is the same as Vassa.

So, ngl, your recent theory is great evidence for Lucien and Vassa 🤷‍♀️

But nothing about Vassa lines up with the version of the fairytale I used 🤷.

I didn't "pull" from Vasilisa and the "Firebird".

So trying to act like you know SJM will sample from that one doesn't make sense when she could have just as easily sampled from the one in my post which has Elain similarities. She also mentioned The Snow Queen in that same article. Obviously not every fairytale was meant to be for a single character.

In your version, it points more towards Jurian and Vassa, not Lucien.

Princess Vasilisa refused to marry without the king ordering the huntsman to bathe in boiling water. The huntsman went to his horse, who charmed his body. He bathed in the boiling water and became handsome. The king went to bathe in the same water, and died. The people took the huntsman as king instead, and he married the princess. (or in another version, they went into an actual Cauldron).

We know Jurian was made by being put into the Cauldron, a body of liquid.

“Jurian …” Lucien blew out a breath, scanning the carved wood ceiling above. “Thank the Cauldron for him. I never thought I’d say that, but it’s true.” He ran a hand through his silken red hair. “He’s keeping everything running. I think he’d have been crowned king by now if it wasn’t for Vassa.”

Boy, your version matches so well with Lucien.

🤦

And let's not forget that after living with Vassa for a year, Lucien doesn't seem all that smitten by her considering this is still how be looks at Elain:

the pain etching deep into Lucien’s face as he tried to hide his disappointment and longing.

That is SJM angst at her finest and exactly how Cassian and Rhys both looked at their Mates before they ended up with them.

[caye-otome-translations]

100 Days Princess - Byron Wagner’s Route Episode 8 (Translated)

Quick Links: 

All Love Interest Main Routes 

Previous Part 

Next Part

Note: I think I’m gonna hold off on posting screenshots for this part because I can’t decide which ones to use. Normally I’d wait but since it’s been a while since I’ve put anything up, I just want to get this episode out of the way. I’ll come back to do them later though, of course!

Byron Wagner Episode 8 Part 2/10

When Nico emerged from the shadows in the greenhouse, Robert’s smile deepened. 

Robert: “I noticed mid-conversation that you were here.” 

Nico: “Then you should’ve mentioned it if that’s the case.” 

Nico smiled, then spoke in a serious tone. 

Nico: “......Thank you.” 

Nico: “For telling MC-sama only what she needed to know.” 

Robert: “............” 

Robert stared at Nico’s face and then lowered his eyes. 

Robert: “I just told her what I know.” 

Nico: “That’s unfair, isn’t it?” 

Nico: “Even if I say thank you, Robert-san won’t accept it.” 

Nico looked up at the night sky and muttered seriously. 

Nico: “...Then instead, I’ll do anything for Byron-sama in exchange.” 

Nico: “I will protect the princess.” 

***

--...A few days later, Stein was bathed in gentle sunlight. 

Albert: “Byron-sama, it seems the Princess of Wysteria is scheduled to arrive today.” 

Byron: “Understood.” 

Albert: “Also... tomorrow and the next few days are miraculously open for Byron-sama.” 

Byron smiled at that deliberate tone, muttering as he stared at the light coming through the window. 

Byron: “Al.” 

Albert: “Yes, what is it?” 

Byron: “The princess wants me to fall in love with her. Only then will she officially become a candidate for queen.” 

Byron: “Do you remember the day we made that promise?” 

Albert: “Yes, I could never forget hearing you say something so ridiculous.” 

Byron: “At the time, I said I didn’t understand those feelings...” 

Byron: “Now, I feel like I know where my heart is.” 

Albert: “...Byron-sama?” 

[thestarishere]

Answers and explanations, MAJOR OVERALL SPOILERS FOR TTYD BELOW

1. One Character Has Boob Jiggle Physics

Status: TRUE

Explanation: Flurry is a character you meet in Chapter 2: The Great Boggly Tree after you find and return her necklace.

This is what she looks like

And her boobs bounce a little when she moves around

2. You Fight The Same Character Three Times as a Chapter Boss

Status: TRUE

Explanation: While running this poll I realized this is true twice, however I'll start with what I had in mind. So first of all, the character I had in mind about this was Lord Crump.

Crump has four total fights, once in the prologue, once as the chapter 2 boss, once as the chapter 5 boss (after Cortez so technically counts), and the chapter 7 boss

HOWEVER, I HAVE LEARNED THERE IS A SECOND ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION IN CHAPTER 4

Simply put? Doopliss.

Doopliss is fought 3 times in Chapter 4, once as the chapter boss fake out, (at least) once to force you to guess his name, and one last time as the ACTUAL chapter boss fight. I didn't realize he technically fit that criteria too so if you weren't tricked by that one for whatever reason between these two, congrats!

3. The Letter P is Stolen From Your Keyboard in a Story Segment

Status: TRUE

Explanation: There is a section in Chapter 4 after your first fight with a character named Doopliss, the thing is, you're not supposed to know his name yet because if you do, it would be a sequence break. To prevent breaking the game the letter P leaves your keyboard without warning and you have to go find it in the overworld

4. A Dragon Offers to Let you Smell her Feet

Status: TRUE

Explanation: I don't think I have to use words, I could just show you the screenshot where she says it

5. Princess Peach Gets Naked on Screen Twice

Status: TRUE

Explaination: Oh boy I knew this would catch people. So basically, there are two segments in the game where this happens. Once where Peach takes a shower (she is covered by the shower curtain but obviously she isn't showering with clothes on, she hangs up her dress over the bath), and another which... I'll be honest I find a little weirder.

Basically, Peach must drink an invisibility potion in order to hide herself for what is basically a stealth mission. HOWEVER, the potion does not make her clothes invisible so she steps off to the side a moment and takes off her clothes. She then walks through the X-Naut Fortress naked and invisible, steals that item, and then comes back, puts her clothes back on and makes herself visible again. Certainly... a moment to be certain

6. One Character is Secretly Revealed to be Wario

Status: FALSE

Explanation: Ok, it's entirely false but I have a story behind it. See, my favorite character in this game is Lord Crump and I often looked him up to see his wiki. Well, one of the top searches when I looked him up is "Lord Crump is Wario" and I was so confused by this I had to check. Turns out, it's a theory from someone on Reddit.

7. There is a Noose in Town Square of One Town

Status: TRUE

Explaination: I absolutely know anyone who picked this has never even looked at this game for more than 5 minutes because it's not only in the intro cutscene, BUT ALSO IN THE MAIN HUB TOWN

8. There are Two Rival Mafia Gangs in the Main Town

Status: TRUE

Explaination: There are two mafia gangs in Rogueport, one called the Pianta Syndicate that runs a casino in town, and their rival gang on the other side of town The Robbo Gang.

9. The Main Overall Villian Gets Decapitated on Screen

Status: TRUE

Explanation: At the end of the game when Grodus finally summons the Shadow Queen to do his bidding, she declines and its at that point where it is revealed that Grodus was lied to about her. In one last attempt to take control of her, she blasts his entire body and all that's left of him is his head (he's still alive too if I'm not mistaken)

10. At Least 2 People Break the 4th Wall, one is a Child, the Other an Antagonist

Status: TRUE

Explanation: There are two characters who break the 4th wall indeed! One of them is a child in Petalburg who if you talk to him will mention the games he's playing, one of these games is Paper Mario the Thousand Year Door, the game YOU'RE playing. The other is Lord Crump when he's disguised as a man named "Four-Eyes" in your ranks. The disguise is very obvious but apparently it fools Mario and the crew, and "Four-Eyes" takes a second to warn YOU THE PLAYER not to tip him off to his disguise.

Overview: I just want to thank everyone who answered this poll, it was for fun and I loved doing it

Which of these about TTYD isn't true? (For uh, new people but you can do it if you want, I'm not gonna tell you not to)

The answer will be in reblogs when the time is up

[blackgirlsuperherorants]

I'm starting to see some ... takes about Wakanda Forever 🥴. Idk, maybe I need to watch again. I will be seeing it on Sunday, but I'm gonna put my thoughts under the cut, and y'all let me know what y'all think? Because it's making me feel some kinda way.

Okay, I was gonna put screenshots up, but nevermind, I'll just talk about it.

So, people are saying Wakanda was the aggressor in this movie, and I do not see how they see it that way at all. This man on Twitter said "I do not get Black Panther... am I suppose to think the Wakandans are the noble ones? They're the Israel of the Middle East. They start a conflict and then act like the victims... This movie continues to convince me that the MCY exists to promote the values of American foreign and domestic policy as virtuous. The right of a technologically advanced nation to commit words and actions to another they immediately recognize as wrong when the same is done to them."

So, a reply to one of my posts made me realize that this is because Nakia killed the two girls guarding Shuri and Riri.

But this take is so ???? to me, because Namor is the aggressor. He's doing nothing but threatening Wakanda from the moment he reveals himself to them. He tells them that they WILL ally with him against the rest of the world or Talokan will wipe Wakanda off of the map. And this isn't an empty threat. They will. They CAN. They could have absolutely destroyed Wakanda during that first invasion, but Namor still wanted to convince Shuri to join him. (Also, we are not to look at Talokan as a technologically inferior nation. Wakanda has tech that looks like the future of surface people, but Talokan has advanced tech, too. Remember, THEY built the suit that Shuri used, and those water bombs, and those translators, and those breathing apparatuses. They are super advanced, too. Their thing is just that they kept their traditions and have no European influence.)

And at the moment when Nakia kills those two women guarding Shuri and Riri, Namor is THREATENING TO KILL SHURI IF RAMONDA DOESN'T COMPLY. So, basically, it was "Help me fuck up the surface dwellers or I'll kill the only family you have left."

If your logic is "well, if you kill someone from that country, obviously they're gonna attempt to destroy everyone and everything you love lol" then why isn't the entire MCU always in a constant World War? Nakia rescued the princess. In any other MCU movie, those two deaths would have been meaningless. Of course they meant something to Namor because he cares deeply for his people, but let's not pretend that the action of holding a princess for ransom isn't in itself an act of war.

Do we stan Namor? Yes. Do I like how he's written in this movie? Yes. But do we pretend that a queen who has NO IDEA where her daughter is and believes her to be in danger is not within her rights to send someone to find her? Like... what the fuck does that have to do with American imperialism?

And when they draw Namor and his warriors out with their vibranium finding machine, how is that... like... bad? It's a war movie. Namor and his people can infiltrate Wakanda easily. They have done it multiple times at that point. Why is it bad to draw THEM out on THEIR turf? How is this movie about American foreign and domestic policy? I don't see ANY parallel there. And I don't at all see the Israel parallel. Wakanda is not a place that decided to take land where other people already live, slowly push those people out of the land altogether, and treat those people subhuman. There is no Palestine in this scenario. Where's the Israel comparison? Is it the outreach program?

And isn't AMERICA the one true bad guy of the movie? Like, both Wakanda and Talokan are opposed to America getting Vibranium, and Val and the CIA are working double time to try to fuck Wakanda up (THROUGH DESTABILIZATION) so that they can eventually gain control of the vibranium.

Seriously, I am a huge Namor stan. He is aggressive and does things without mercy or compassion. He is not a poor, innocent tribal man. He is a cold, calculating genius. He's canonically a genius. Let's not pretend Talokan are somehow Wakanda's victims. They are two extremely powerful nations, probably the most powerful two on Earth, and pretty evenly matched, and they ended up fighting because Namor wanted something that Shuri found unreasonable, and that if they didn't agree to, he was going to kill her and invade Wakanda, anyway.

And TRUST ME, America stands NO CHANCE against Talokan. There's not American propaganda about this movie. It's clear that Talokan would fuck America up with little problem. They just wanted to team with Wakanda for better land advantage.

[sweetestpopcorn]

Hi there Anon!

So sorry for this delay, I actually was halfway through the ask when I accidentally published it (yes I am an idiot) and so I had to take a screenshot of the ask and delete the answer and start over.

If I told y’all how it got accidentally published y’all wouldn’t believe me 😡 damn you to the Seven Hells iPhone!

Ok moving on ☺️

Boy oh boy how I love this ask! I would, however, start with a little correction to the ask itself because you don’t become something, Anon, you are something. And I am beyond tired of people in this fandom having the narrative of “Oh what a shame it was that Criston became an as$hole and turned to the Greens.”; “Oh he starts good but then becomes bad.”, “Oh, he’s as bad as he is good!”. 

Honey, he was always an asshole he just revealed himself.

You don’t become something. You aren’t a great guy one moment and a terrible one the next. You just reveal who you really are.

And this was what Criston did. He revealed who he really was (sad part for him though, is that Rhaenyra didn’t really seem to care and just pretended he didn’t exist for the next 16 years).

That went well.

So, why did he turn on Rhaenyra people now ask? Why was he so loyal to her one minute and hated her guts the next? 

Fire and Blood/The Rogue Prince/The World of Ice and Fire gives us two main reasons, one according to Eustace and one according to Mushroom:

a) Knowing Rhaenyra was to be married, Criston finally confessed his feelings for her and asked her to run away with him. When she spurned his advances, he began hating her and resented this (the most likely explanation given all that happens next), or:

b) After already have attempted to seduce him and having failed, Rhaenyra tries (for some reason) to seduce him again and he is so horrified at this (again - she had already tried in 112 AC according to Mushroom) that he says “Well try to seduce me once, shame on you, try to seduce me twice, shame on me” and so decides she is evil and wanton and that he must destroy her for the good of mankind. 

These are our hypothesis, or someone can imagine maybe a mixture of the two. Once discussing this with my brilliant friend @xenonwitch she very well pointed out that while she (like most people who have critical skills and good reading comprehension) believes Septon Eustace, a plausible mixture of the two would be of Criston wanting to marry Rhaenyra, and Rhaenyra proposing to him what she likely proposed to Harwin: that they could become lovers, but that was it because she wouldn’t give up her claim for him; He could be insulted at this prospect and perhaps horrified that someone he thought highly of would be willing to have an affair while married to another man. 

Whatever version you choose to believe they all have one thing in common, they show that Criston “Incel” Cole had one of the biggest Madonna-Whore complex out of anyone we ever saw in asoiaf.

You see, while Rhaenyra was “pure”, while she was chaste, a virgin, while she was the “girl you married”, Criston stood by her side and loved her. He might have suspected that “something” went on between her and Prince Daemon but that was it and only it, and because it didn’t match with his vision of her, of the pure princess who didn’t even look at other men, he could ignore it. But then, Rhaenyra married Laenor Velaryon (ignoring for a moment the repercussion of whatever version of events you believe) and began a very public affair with Harwin Strong almost immediately. 

Let’s for a moment look at Rhaenyra and Laenor’s wedding day:

“When Rhaenyra bestowed her garter on Ser Harwin, her new husband laughed and gave one of his own to Ser Joffrey. Denied Rhaenyra’s favor, Ser Criston Cole turned to Queen Alicent instead.” (Fire and Blood, pg. 372)

On a side note, someone look me in the eye right f_cking now and tell me anywhere it seems by this that it was Criston who spurned Rhaenyra. You’re welcome, besties.

So, given that it was well known at court that Harwin “had long desired the princess” (Fire and Blood, pg. 371), and that “paid court to the princess, as did the Hand’s eldest son, Ser Harwin Strong” (pg. 369), how difficult would have been for Criston to add 2 and 2 together and realize who Rhaenyra had turned to, or maybe (very maybe), who she might have been paying attention to for some time? That the two of them were now lovers. And this destroyed his image of Rhaenyra and she went from virginal princess he the white knight had to protect, from the Maiden to his Warrior, to a woman with “wanton ways” who slept with men without being married. Furthermore, and this is a bit of speculation from me though compare to the amount of speculation most “metas” go into this is as good as taken from the source, if she slept with Harwin so easily, then more than likely she had slept with Daemon as well, meaning that Rhaenyra had an affair being a married woman, and she had had an affair with a married man. So twice fornication and twice adultery. 

Besides, breaking this precious image that Criston had of her, if she was the one rejecting him, this is also an insult to his person. He was the good man, the white knight, the one who protected her from her enemies for years, the one who wanted to marry her, and yet, it was to two men who drank, who whored, and who had no troubles “dishonouring” her that Rhaenyra chose to take to her bed. Worse still, if Septon Eustace is to be believed, not content with all of this, Rhaenyra went a step further and reminded Criston of who she was, telling him the life he could offer her was not enough for the blood of the dragon. 

So all in all we have: 

a) Madonna-Whore complex;

b) Anger at being rejected by men he saw as less worthy than he was - Being and Incel;

c) Being made to feel less than what he was by a woman - Misogyny;

As far as taking orders from Alicent, again this was fine because “Madonna-Whore” complex. Alicent was the “chaste” woman, faithful to her husband, so it would be ok to do her biding because she unlike Rhaenyra didn’t have affairs or enjoyed sex, or chose her lovers. Alicent was good, and Rhaenyra was bad. And because Criston was good - there was a certain image he had of himself he had to maintain as well - it was Alicent he followed. 

In sum, it was Rhaenyra’s fault, ALL Rhaenyra’s fault. He was not to blame, she and her “wanton” ways were.

Was Criston as good as he was bad? I think only a *insert word of choice here* could suggest such a thing because we don’t see anything good ever (I mean maybe loyalty and persisting with an objective? aka destroying Rhaenyra). Nor in Fire and Blood, nor in the Rogue Prince, nor in the Princess and the Queen, nor in The World of Ice and Fire. 

“Oh but we are told as such in Feast for Crows!” 

Ok I’ll bite. You are also told in “A Game of Thrones” that Rhaenyra was one year older than Aegon II and that Viserys II was Aegon III’s fourth son. 

You also have zero mentions of Daemon anytime the City Watch is shown yet you keep having mentions of every Targaryen who did X thing every book - like Baelor and the Sept he built.

Rhaenyra was once planned to be married to a Lannister and then to Lyonel Strong.

Alysanne was meant to be tall, and later was changed to be petite.

Alyssa was meant to be older than Baelon. 

Alysanne was first written as Maegor’s daughter.

Should I go on?

A Feast for Crows was written in 2005. The Princess and the Queen was written in 2013. The World of Ice and Fire was written in 2014. The Rogue Prince was written in 2014. Fire and Blood came out in 2018. 

Oh, and for anyone that needs any clarification regarding ages and details aboud canon Rhaenyra Targaryen and canon Criston Cole, here we go:

-Criston Cole was 15 years older than Rhaenyra Targaryen (Fire and Blood, pg. 258). She was 8 when they met, he was 23;

-Criston Cole joined the Kingsguard when Rhaenyra Targaryen was 8 years of age (Fire and Blood, pg. 258 and 259). So if you want to suggest they were lovers before he joined the Kingsguard please be aware you are suggesting that Criston Cole r_ped a 8 year old girl and was - even by asoiaf standards - a pedophile;

-The only person who implies Rhaenyra and Criston MIGHT have been lovers - given with a big stretch and imagination - is Alicent Hightower before 111 AC, before Rhaenyra Targaryen was 14 (Fire and Blood, pg. 363);

-Nowhere in Fire and Blood is it implied that Rhaenyra Targaryen and Criston Cole had any sort of affair or romance after Daemon left King’s Landing in 112 AC. Please refer to Fire and Blood pgs. 368, 369, 370, 371, 372 for all the details and facts; 

You are all welcome.

Anon, so sorry for this delay and the rant - but Criscel fans and apologists are a special breed of *insert word of choice here*. And if people want to speak facts, I will give them facts then. 

Please write any fanfiction about Criston you want, but let’s leave canon as canon and not as a weird AU. 

Anon, you got it right about Ser Incel! Much love to you ❤ And to end this on a positive, let me share again the amazing meme @003-alissa made. 

Queen, take this: 👑

[lunar-wandering]

so. its the end of the week. we have not gotten a new trailer or a poster or screenshot.

so, as promised,

angst fic time.

-

He knows something's wrong as soon as he lands, and triumph fills her face instead of fear.

The Lady Bone Demon laughs, and dread fills Wukong's chest with a heavy, sinking feeling.

His connection to his successor, to MK, growing fainter, till it's nothing but a strained thread. He rushes to help, worry filling his every vein with adrenaline, feeling the connection grow weaker, weaker.

He shouldn't have left MK alone.

He keeps an eye on the thread as it twists and pulls.

"Oh, don't you already know? Surely you of all people could sense it."

It snaps.

"You're too late, Sun Wukong."

Wukong doesn't want to look behind him and accept reality. But he knows he has to.

Against his wishes, and his instinct's desire to keep the Lady, the real threat, within his vision, he looks over his shoulder.

It's like being crushed by a mountain all over again.

Some part of him had already knew. Had known the moment he'd felt the connection start to wither, that he was far, far too late.

But the rest of him is entirely unprepared to see the silent, terrified, stone face of his successor.

"Why, don't you look horrified." The Lady Bone Demon's voice hisses in his ear, almost as though she's right over his shoulder, but when he turns back, she's still the same distance away as before. "Fear, I must admit, is a nice expression on you."

Wukong doesn't have the time to grieve, to process the remnant statue of MK that looms directly behind him.

Still though, maybe, maybe if he runs now, he can find MK's friends, and if they don't kick him out immediately for being the failure he has proven himself to be, then maybe together they can find a way to fix-

"You should be made aware, I suppose, that your pitiful successor is not the only one you've failed."

Wukong doesn't even have the chance to ask her what she means before they're standing in front of him, blue, see through-

All the people he knew, entirely unresponsive.

Pigsy, Tang, Sandy. Hunstman, Goliath, Syntax, and a concerningly disheveled Spider Queen.

Princess Iron Fan and Demon Bull King. (He'd warned them, warned them, to get out of town, before he'd left. Hadn't given much reason as to why, only told them that things would be dangerous.

Maybe he should've told them entirely about the danger. Demon Bull King and Princess Iron Fan were stubborn after all, they wouldn't evacuate if not given a good reason.

He should've told them.)

He forces himself to look away, to not stare into their unseeing eyes-

And finds himself looking at the statue MK again.

There's a crack running down the center of MK's chest now.

Upon seeing it- something in Wukong cracks as well.

Eyes glowing red, ignoring how his body protests the movement, he snarls, leaping over the stolen souls, not even bothering with quips or snark as he focuses in on the Lady Bone Demon.

She maintains her cold smile, and simply moves out of the way.

He twists mid air, intending on summoning his cloud-

His cloud doesn't appear.

For a moment, shock makes it's way through the anger.

And then he plummets, and hits the sand below.

He coughs, pulling himself up, cringing at the way the pain of his injuries fluxes.

His eyes burn, and Wukong hisses, resisting the urge to rub them, knowing that it would only make it worse.

Stupid fucking sand.

Fighting through the pain, he forces his eyes open.

Just in time to blearily see the magic circle activate around him.

Gravity increases itself, pressing down on his back, nearly shoving him back down into the sand. He bites his lip, hard, his fangs drawing blood, to keep himself from screaming.

His vision is still blurry, but he can still see the blue as the Lady Bone Demon stands on the edge of the circle in front of him.

"How pathetic." She whispers, but it resonates as though it's been yelled. "Truly I expected you to put up more of a fight. Oh well...I suppose this works out for the better."

Wukong tries to stand up, fighting against the increasing pressure- only for the pain in his leg to flare, forcing him back down onto one knee.

"Hm... there are some hindrances that still remain though.... yes, perhaps this would be the best option." Her voice echoed in his head, ringing like bells. "It certainly would be more fun after all...."

Wukong shuddered as he felt cold chains loop around his wrists and legs. Through his blurry vision, he couldn't actually see them, but he knew. He knew they were there.

"Here is the deal, Sun Wukong." The Lady Bone Demon stepped into the circle, walking to loom in front of him. She held out her hand as though she was going to hold the side of his face, but didn't initiate contact, simply letting the coldness of her presence sink into his skin, frigidly threatening. Despite having fought enemies larger than himself multiple times before- this was the smallest Wukong had ever felt. "You will work for me. You will do my bidding. You shall never attempt to betray me, and in the end, you shall die by my hand. In return....your precious successor will not be reduced to crumbling ashes."

Distantly, Wukong could hear the sound of stone beginning to crack apart. His eyes burned too much for his golden vision to be of any use, but he could sense it. He could sense MK begin to crack and crumble.

There would be no way to fix him if that happened.

And Wukong knew full well, that handing himself over to the Lady Bone Demon willingly would mean horrible things for multiple people. He knew that holding one life over the many was a bad decision to make.

But at this point in his life- his old friends either long gone or already within the Lady Bone Demon's hands...

Well, his successor, who he'd honestly started to view as his son, MK was practically his only thing left to lose.

And he couldn't afford to lose it.

His voice refused to work, not even able to create a whisper. So instead, he lowered his head.

He didn't need to be able to see the Lady Bone Demon's face to know that it held wicked glee.

"Excellent." She hissed, and Wukong felt the invisible chains grow tighter, practically searing themselves to him. A cold wash of power ran through him, pushing the remnants of his own golden glow down, burying it under a freezing ocean.

It hurt. But if it meant there could still be some chance of somebody bringing MK back....

Then it didn't really matter what happened to him.

[claire-starsword]

we back from tumblr's image limit. And to think i am actually holding back on the screenshots lol

Lowe and Khris are ready to do their healer job and Khris gets her first level up, including a chonky magic res raise that already puts her above Lowe in this stat. I never paid much attention as to who is the best in this stat, besides the goddess I'll introduce eventually (soon?), so that'll be interesting to see.

Unfortunately her MP increase is too late, she's out of MP for this fight already.

Everyone's lumped together at big risk of another AoE so I need that mage dead now.

Gong punches the evil out of him I guess. It's ridiculous how much stuff is dropping in this run.

The rest of the enemies are wiped easy, with even the healers getting in the fun. Now we have a long and boring walk to the other side of the river. I'm fairly sure no more healing will be needed so I'll start spamming Lowe's heal for exp. It does get him a level up in the five boring turns it takes us to get to the final enemies.

Somehow I chose the perfect bait position for Max.

Do you see the signs of something beautiful in the near future?

It's not as fun as I expected because Max wiped out one dwarf on his own, but. Time for Tao to debut her own AoE too. And remember kids, you too can learn how to do this if you enroll in Guardiana's Magic School today!

Absolutely nothing else notable happens, enemies are wiped out with no issues. Max does get a level up with small increases for once in his life though.

After some cringe and some cryptid sighting, we can now finish Chapter 1. I check the deals section and there's nothing new. Sadly, we only have money for one more Steel Ring and that's it. I give it to Lowe for now. In the previous part I considered the Evade Ring as a cheaper possibility, but guess what? We're 10 gold short for them. So I just buy a couple of herbs to replace Khris' seeds, those heal 40 HP so definitely shouldn't be used now.

Nothing else to do! We follow the secret passage to Rindo, hoping to reach the land of magic, Manarina, where our beloved ice queen awaits. And speaking of queens…

Once upon a time, there was a princess who looked at her father killing hundreds upon hundreds after the sudden appearance of a dark cloaked red eyed and horned advisor who says stuff like "look into my eyes my lord". And the princess thought, "hey there's something off about this". And she was somehow the only one. So she had to flee an assassination attempt and brave vast deserts and dark caverns in hopes that heroes out there could help her restore her country from the hell it had became.

That's the past though, we're not playing the plot, we're playing the Guardiana Magic School run. Narsha is just off to visit her old friends. Unfortunately the hell desert still exists. Given my rules I bet I'll just die here, but let's see how it goes.

At the very least I can die with some loot.

And good thing I learn how to access the stat screen in battle, right? Now I can do this introduction properly. Here's the aforementioned goddess of magic resistance, Narsha.

...

I said, here's the- oh god i somehow didn't take the screenshot. And didn't notice it through the whole week this post has been in production.

Aaaaanyway. The main thing is that she has a chonky 30% magic resistance at level 1 and I expect it to double through the run. She's also a specialist in support magic, already starting with the Attack boosting spell which is frankly broken in a regular playthrough. The catch is that all her spells cost a lot of MP. Attack level 1 is 10 MP and pretty much depletes her already, you can see her HP and MP in the previous screenshot.

Speaking of attack, her stat in that isn't bad either. Unfortunately, she has little defense and is alone in this interlude, which is why I expect to die. I still cast the Attack spell to try to get some kills and exp at least. It gives her a +8 and lasts through the whole fight.

We get a Medical Herb, and I always forget but in this version opening a chest does not end your turn.

We have two rats nearby and I would love to not get hit by both at once, which might be possible, movement sucks for everyone in the desert.

Also Zuika popped up to help, he's the usual way you do this interludes by being super overleveled for this point, but. Magic user playthrough. So he's just gonna chill here.

I play the long game baiting these rats to the pillar, now I think the second one won't reach me. Absolute nonsense I never do in these games, but finally something in the vibe of a challenge run I guess.

It also turns out to be very paranoid as she just destroys the rat thanks to Attack.

And another drop I can't believe this at this point lmao

My original plan was to just get loot but now I'm wondering if these herbs can actually get me through the battle. She taking 2 damage from the rats, and the spiders and scorpions here should be stronger, and also in bigger groups. I'm willing to try at least.

She levels up and the +3 defense gives me even more hope! She also already gets Attack level 2, she gets her first spells super fast, probably for these interludes. Of course, that won't be useful now as she's out of MP.

Another Medical Herb, and now there's these enemies to deal with. Legit wondering if I can do the pillar strat, it's gonna take so long I hate it.

Never mind I was overthinking it, this rat is very stupid.

…at this point the game just thinks i'm baby. It is right, but hey.

We call this a protagonist level up.

We get the Shower Cure, which heals 20 HP of every character at once and is thus the kind of stuff you wanna save for the ending. Not like I can use it now, Narsha got so many herbs she has her hands full.

ugh. i hit image limit again. But we're almost at the end and I don't want a third reblog. WHat you'll get is image ID without the images, because that's the production level we're at now.

[Super attack! 33 damage to G. Spider.]

[Narsha finds: Medical Herb]

This is flat out bizarre at this point.

[Narsha gets to level 4, gaining +2 attack, +4 defense, +2 speed, +4 max HP, +1 max MP and +3% magic resistance. She also learns the Boost spell.]

I actually use an herb because I'll be reaching for the Dark Mage now, and. Yeah. By now you have definitely understood that Narsha is the easy mode of the game, I'm almost regretting saying in my rules that I'd be counting her deaths here separately, though I'll wait until the final interlude for a verdict on that, that one is spicy. Defnitely embarrassing to think this one would be hard though lol, I guess I never even tried to do it without Zuika in normal playthroughs.

Also. Let's have some fun with the series' inconsistency. In the original SF translation, the Attack spell was called Boost. In the following games, it was translated as Attack, and Boost was the translation for the Support spell, which raises defense and speed. So, which Boost is the one Narsha just learned? Neither. This is a new spell that raises the damage of offensive magic.

[The Dark Mage is too stupid to see me coming even once I'm in range of their magic.]

[Narsha obliterates them in a single hit and finds a Healing Seed.]

oops. turns out he's also the boss, there's no victory conditions screen at the beginning and I forgot to check them in battle. So I might have wasted a bunch of experience. But also Narsha is so absurd I don't think it will matter, I'm very happy to see her not die here, and curious on how she'll fare in the following interludes which are way worse in case you're mad at me calling this cakewalk a challenge run. Personally I kinda am. But chapter 2 also starts on one of my least favorite battles so, yeah! We're currently at a very weird intersection of hubris and dread, see ya next time.

Losses: 0 Deaths: 1 The expected deaths on Narsha interludes: 0/3!!!

The Guardiana Magic School Run - Part 4

We're back and after all the setup in the previous part, we can just move on with the plot. The Guardiana's Magic School gang gets a tour of Alterone's escape rooms, to Max's delight, and he fails at them, requiring the help of a beloved old pal again.

Seriously, why did she know this was here. I approve but I also have questions.

She unfortunately has some catching up to do level wise, but healers are useful on any level so who cares, and she's not that away from Lowe in terms of stats.

We get a Healing Seed from this terribly placed chest, like, why this.

As I anticipated in the previous part, Khris has as much defense as Tao (derogatory) so she gets loaded with all the Steel Rings I bought last time. I also give her a bunch of healing items that I got from chests. Don't even remember how much a Healing seed heals, but would suck to spend them this early, this is just for emergencies, and because I forgot to plan to buy herbs for her early. To be fair (hubris incoming), I don't think the next battle will be that hard.

As you can see, the clear bonus for this one is the Jagged Flash, which I've insulted enough last time, and is not even usable in this playthrough. I guess we've somehow established a rivalry between the magic and axe schools huh, the epilogue was right.

This battle divides into two areas on each side of the river, with the enemies on top splitting between them. Usually on my normal playthrough I split the team to get the clear bonus, so I'm used to doing each area with roughly the same amount of characters I have here. That's why I'm not too worried.

Of course, hubris has killed me before, so Max has the right idea too, let's be careful with the squishy spellcasters.

I, also need to dunk on myself a bit, i've complained so much that this game doesn't let you check stats during battle but uh, turns out it does. It's with the R button. I'll dunk on the game too because that's a weird choice, just let me click on things with A like a normal person. Also it doesn't show enemies you haven't attacked yet it seems, which is kind of a pain. Perhaps on Chapter 4 I'll get to explain how bad that can be.

Enough rambling, I believe starting from the left will be the best as there are less enemies, we should be able to dispatch the bats before the knights come, they tend to stick to blocking the bridge. Let's do some boring turns of just walking.

It takes four turns for us to get remotely close to each other. As I said the knights are sticking to the bridge, so I'm gonna bait the bats with Max and deal with them first. There are two more bats beyond the river and I expect them to come too.

Bat behavior happens, and I messed up, the knights are actually out for blood.

Gong and Tao team up to take out one bat, and Max woke up as soon as the turn started, though you still can't move on the turn that happens.

So yeah, he's not doing anything any time soon lmao

He still remains the greatest bait ever though. He and Gong still take only 1 damage from anything here, so I don't think anything will be a threat except the Dark Mage.

Tao and Gong wreck the two knights that advanced, and a bat from the other side finally comes, being greeted by Gong's counter immediately. Meanwhile, Max…

Well, he is overleveled anyway.

Khris finally debuts by healing Max for 25 exp, which I think is more she'd ever get in the mega drive version. Not exactly sure how they adjust the exp for healing, but it will help a lot.

She then manages to finish the bat tormenting Max doing 4 damage, which is more than I expected! Go girl we're one battle away from the Power Staff!

I really wanna bait this bat before dealing with the bridge gang. Gong still has the Rousing Ring so there's no sleep risk.

Actually the real reason there's no risk is that Gong has had enough of bats in general.

I try getting some exp for Lowe with this kill, but bats being bats, it dodges.

Max asks for five more minutes on his afternoon nap, unfortunately for him he's a warrior so he returns to battle, finally making some sort of line to defend my squishy people.

He's just in time to take a Blaze level 2 to the face. Ah, the wonders of magic.

...

oh c'mon, I've hit tumblr's image limit, that's gonna be a pain to deal with in this run. continuation in the reblogs i guess

[writer-and-artist27]

[Image Description: Two screenshots from Fate/Grand Order, showing in order, (1) The Bond Level Up screen for Rider Achilles, where his Bond Level has gone up from 10 to 11 and the game’s reward of 30 Saint Quartz and 20 Servant Coins; and (2) the Bond Level Limit Released screen for Achilles, showing his Bond Level Limit having increased from 11 to 12. End Description.]

I've been sitting on this achievement for about 4-5 days now, and my best Rider honestly deserves better than that, I think. Then again, considering his own myth and how he took Patroclus' passing as hard as he did, I know he wouldn't blame me for my writing being quiet.

Still wondering if I've really been feeling my grandpa's spirit hug me from behind every time I sing the Vietnamese hymm to let him go onto Nirvana leading up to the 49th day of death...

Ah well. The least I can do is write for him again with what energy I have.

Thankie, Achi, for being my first 5-star Rider. Thankie for being a great Hero.

Was listening to this song I picked out for the Passing Days OST when brainstorming.

-----------------------------------

Sometimes, Achilles could still remember the unease. The unending discord, the quiet foreboding. Even his goddess mother Thetis had cried tears over such things, much to his small, lingering regret as he went on to be the hero she wished him not to be.

It wasn't an unfamiliar feeling either, but it didn't make it any less uncomfortable when sensing it start to trickle down his spine at the sight of Vy wordlessly offering yet another Bond Chalice to him, smiling through the fatigued lines and dark shadows underneath her eyes. He knew she was a selfless, caring girl like that, giving Servants food and rest like they were people and not just heroes, but Achilles wondered sometimes, when the exact moment was in her life where she stopped looking after herself.

There was only so much Novum Chaldea could do, and "enough" was still a subjective term for things with the Foreign God lingering on the horizon like a motherfucking demon that really needed to get her head out of her ass.

Even then, the exasperated smile tugging at his lips was real as he reached past the rainbow flame, past the gold cup keeping him in the room, to rest his hands underneath the arms of the oh-so-human girl who summoned him.

Before, in another world, he had to serve a priest who had far too lofty goals for Achilles' liking, probably as nothing more than an extra bodyguard if Amakusa Shirou Tokisada had anything to say on the matter. Or Semiramis, being such a pompous, dishonest queen. How Atalante agreed to working with them back then was beyond Achilles.

Here, however, in a world that was Bleached beyond repair, he could at least be another Hero, a successful one this time, to a girl who deserved to be saved at least once.

Achilles could see Vy's lips move in a wordless cry of his nickname (heck, their bond could let him hear her voice it without it taking physical sound waves in the softest, sweetest tone, even when he knew she would only ever love one Hero as a man in her heart) once he lifted her up from her place trying to hand him another gift, letting the Bond Chalice fall to the floor of the Enhancement Center with a clatter. In his arms, she squirmed, looking more like a child than a weakened, traumatized Master with her loose ponytail and the wide look in her brown eyes that reflected his image. Still, her hands rested on his shoulders, not even giving a sign of resistance as he brought her close to him.

Bump, went their foreheads.

"Silly Master," he whispered in response to the questioning muu that Vy made as he closed his eyes. "You gotta remember you matter before you lose your voice trying to give me things."

I won't treat you like I did Penthesilea. Never.

Vy croaked a soft, "A..." just as Achilles bumped their heads together again. "Achi..."

"No buts, Princess," he continued, adjusting his grip so that she was protectively nestled into his chest, her hair tickling the side of his neck. Her waist was tiny in his arms, thin despite the muscle and taut flexing that served as proof of her training outside the simulator. "I told you with the first Bond Chalice, remember? I lost one love before." No. Maybe two, when counting the Great Holy Grail War. But still. He rested a hand in those long brown locks of hair, stroking it quietly. "I'm not going to stand losing you."

Achilles only let himself relax and press his cheek into the top of Vy's hair once he heard the squeaked, "O... Okay."

It was something, at least.

[scorpia-is-babey]

Schrodinger’s Scorpion Kingdom

ALT Title: 

An Essay Detailing Why I Don’t Believe in Either Theory of Hordak Wiping out the Scorpioni, or that the Former Scorpioni Gave Up the Kingdom Willingly 

I often jokingly say that Scorpia’s backstory has to be the most convoluted, jumbled mess of a character I have ever had the misfortune of simping... Uh, I mean, analyzing for. I’m not the type of nerd to get spoon fed information without chewing on it first. Whenever I try to chew on the idea that Hordak miraculously brought the Scorpioni to their knees, or if he was simply given the Runestone and kingdom, I can’t really come to any agreement. Both are equally ridiculous if we sit down and dissect them. 

Firstly, we are shown very clear evidence that the Horde (and by extension Hordak) had overthrown the kingdom (that popular screenshot of a few Scorpioni laying face down on the ground, the Black Garnet looming in the center). But there’s never any further explanation about that. How he might have rallied these brand new troops and given them armor; the early bits of technology he used; how he could have possibly discovered that the Black Garnet was a noteworthy piece of power; what the previous relationship between the Horde and Scorpioni was... 

Scorpia’s takes or explanations on any of this doesn’t and will never count. She is not only a heavily biased party, but she isn’t a primary source of information. Force Captain Orientation, and therefore, Hordak, is the easiest answer to look towards regarding how she knows the things she knows. Scorpia is always a secondary source of information and it is impossible to take her word for whatever happened before she was born. 

The main, primary source we do have is Light Spinner.

Light Spinner was watching the attack in real time and showed young King Micah. Her actions in “Light Spinner” (S2, E6) are desperate and urgent for that reason; there’s no time to be wasted. Through her and the narrative, we have a little bit of information on the Scorpioni, and we can conclude a few things about them: 

1) They were doing well for themselves at some point. The entirety of the Fright Zone belonged to them, and there are even larger areas that the audience only gets to see once (Horror Hall) that would suggest opulence. Runestones are the deciding factor of a Princess of Power as well (these being the Elemental Princesses, the fact that there’s canonically only a handful of them). All of the Princesses of Power have very large kingdoms (i.e. Kingdom of Snows, Salineas, Bright Moon, and Plumeria). 

2) Nobody gave up anything. If the aforementioned screenshot of the Scorpioni people laying face down on the ground and the looming Black Garnet being tied up wasn’t enough incentive to not believe that this was a peaceful treaty, I bring your attention to the fact that Light Spinner was keen on joining the Horde. She was accepted on the basis that she would be able to use the Black Garnet. 

This random Mystacor sorceress, and not, say, the Black Garnet’s actual Princess. 

3) They were not an obscure kingdom. Hordak’s arrival was common knowledge. Narrative wise, we don’t get to know this until Catra knows this. Just because Catra doesn’t know it, doesn’t mean that it isn’t a general fact. If there are only six elemental princesses in their entire known world, it would be jarring if the Black Garnet’s Princess was forgotten only after a few years since Hordak’s arrival. 

We also don’t have extra confirmation from Light Spinner this time, but from the fact that Scorpia gets a Princess Prom invitation in the Fright Zone. They know where to mail it. They know where Princess Scorpia resides. 

Who is “they”?  

Canon doesn’t give us an answer to that. For the sake of continuing this point, we’re going to put a pin in it. Leave it for another day. 

With all of these inferences of the former Scorpioni Kingdom, this leaves us with the idea that Hordak’s rule over them was, unsurprisingly forceful... 

Somehow. 

This character spends the majority of his time pursuing his own personal goals. He wants to rejoin Horde Prime by opening a portal and taking the entire Horde army into Etheria to conquer it. When he does end up doing this, it’s with the help of Catra, Entrapta, and indirectly, Scorpia. 

He needs repairs to his armor eventually, which Entrapta helps him with; he needs Shadow Weaver to keep the soldiers in line as his second in command; he needs Catra after Shadow Weaver to take that second in command position which she absolutely succeeds in more than either of them could ever have... 

How does Hordak overtake the Black Garnet without these characters and resources all of those years ago? Where does he get these soldiers from? Why are these soldiers strong enough to conquer a fully capable, thriving kingdom? 

One idea floating around in the fandom space is that the Scorpioni were as non-confrontational, jovial and charismatic as Scorpia is shown to be, therefore allowing themselves to be conquered. That idea is not only unlikely, but it is admitting that somehow Scorpia would have met her people and known them well enough to pick up those traits. If not anything else, that claim is entirely ridiculous. 

Although we see Scorpia in a picture with her mothers as an infant, it’s unlikely that she got to know them either and pick up on their traits. There is never any mention of them verbally and no confirmation if they are dead or alive. Scorpia’s mothers not making an appearance or even being mentioned implies that they are dead, but, again, that’s never confirmed... Instead we can conclude that the mother with the Black Garnet connection is, at the very least, disconnected from it. When Glimmer is crowned as Queen and she no longer has to share the Moonstone with Angella, she gets all of its power. When Scorpia connects with the Black Garnet, she gets all of its power. She is not sharing any of its power with anyone at that point. 

...

This leaves me, annoyingly, left with more questions than answers. With Scorpia being my favorite character, I am constantly writing, drawing, and discussing her. This makes me acutely aware that she’s got one of the most plot hole-inclined, nonsensical backstories of the entire cast. It spills over into Hordak and the Scorpioni plotline, too. 

Fortunately, since I don’t believe in either “Hordak conquered the Scorpioni”, or “the Scorpioni gave up the Black Garnet willingly”, this does nothing to affect how I perceive canon, Hordak, or the Scorpioni. 

After thinking about and writing it all down, I genuinely do not care about Scorpia’s background anymore. I will make decisions based on her background when the opportunities arise in discussion or fanfiction writing. Both Scorpion Kingdom theories are ridiculous, leaving us with this paradoxical theory: 

“Schrodinger’s Scorpion Kingdom Theory”, is realizing that this plotline doesn’t make sense, and then deciding to fill in your own spaces where it best suits your own understanding of the narrative —because the original explanations are both plausible and implausible, given what we know from the canonical facts. 

[thecrownnet]

Congratulations to Adriano Goldman , ASC, BSC, ABC, Director Of Photography, for his Creative Arts Emmy win OUTSTANDING CINEMATOGRAPHY FOR A SINGLE-CAMERA SERIES (ONE HOUR) for season 4 episode 3 ‘Fairytale’ on September 11, 2021. Here are his insights on filming the episode with director Benjamin Caron.

‘The Crown’ Used Lighting and Composition to Trap Its Characters Inside a ‘Fairytale’

Director Benjamin Caron and cinematographer Adriano Goldman discuss how they destroyed Diana and Charles’ marriage before it even began.

Behind the Scenes of “The Crown” Season 4, Episode 3 Photo: Netflix

Over “The Crown’s” four seasons, the halls of Buckingham Palace have become familiar visual signifiers for both the grandeur and the pressure placed upon the royal family. But in the third episode of this most recent season, “Fairytale,” cinematographer Adriano Goldman and director Benjamin Caron stretched the limits of the show’s visual language to create — and then to destroy — Princess Diana’s (Emma Corrin) fairytale fantasies.

Much of the episode is given over to Diana slowly realizing that, like many princesses stuck in a castle before her, she has fallen into a trap. But Goldman and Caron opened up the ways they shoot their Buckingham Palace sets to show how the demands of the Crown consume everyone on the eve of the fateful marriage.

They force the jaws of the trap open wide with a pre-credits sequence of Diana’s night out with her friends after Charles (Josh O’Connor) proposes to her. The scene is a departure in every sense, not just to the swank ’80s members’ club that Diana frequents.

“You try to deliver something that is more romantic, a little bit more colorful, fun to start,” Goldman said of the sequence in an interview with IndieWire. “We wanted to not change the style too much, but there should be a transition from a very colorful pre-title sequence, a very interesting and more romantic beginning.”

That romance is on full display, most noticeably in the brighter, guadier colors of the club and much warmer tones of Diana’s Earl’s Court flat. But Goldman’s camera also interposes itself almost as a fourth (slightly intoxicated) friend, swinging around inside the girls’ cab to get a look at both Diana and Buckingham Palace, or flinging itself down onto the bed with the girls at the end of the night. The look of the sequence stands in contrast to the stately shots and slow tracks which are the show’s normal rhythm for everyone in the royal family. Well, for everyone in the royal family except maybe Princess Margaret (Helena Bonham-Carter), who gets to dance by a pool every now and again.

“We really considered how we could reverse [that fairytale opening] and be very present with her, and [how we could] make her feel young, actually. Part of this is she’s a young girl going into the palace,” Caron said.

Caron and Goldman gave the audience several visual signifiers that are easy to clock in this sequence, as well as Diana’s goodbyes to her friends that follows: the gold and neon hues of the night out, the warm, eye-level close-ups of Diana dancing in the club, and a signature spiral staircase Diana descends to begin her life as a princess.

Over the course of the episode, these colors will fade. The close-ups inch slightly above Diana’s eyeline, so that it feels like the camera, along with the rest of the Royals, is looking down on her. And when a spiral staircase reappears, it will lead to Diana’s lowest point.

“The Crown” Season 4, Ep. 3 “The Fairytale” Screenshot

With Diana ushered inside Buckingham Palace to shield her from the press in the run-up to her and Charles’ wedding, Caron and Goldman emphasized how small and vulnerable Diana looks inside the palace walls. The opening of “Fairytale” had a long shot of the club, and Diana fit snugly within it. Once inside Buckingham Palace, the negative space often overwhelms Diana, and the camera backs away to show just how alone she truly is, perhaps best exemplified in the scene of her grandmother (Georgie Glen) physically tying her up while instructing her in how to speak like a royal.

Caron and Goldman deliberately call back to the romance of the opening to twist the knife, having Diana dance ballet inside the palace and then try to break out of the regimented structure of it as the pressure on her mounts. “I remember sort of holding the frame and I remember the camera operator was trying to follow us, but [I said no,] just hold the frame static and let her move in and around it,” Caron said. “So it really felt like someone trying to break out [of] somewhere.”

But of course, the camera never does let her leave the frame. Unlike the quick, fun cuts of Diana dancing in the club, there is no pressure release here. There is nowhere for Diana to go.

“The Crown” Season 4, Ep. 3 “The Fairytale” Screenshot

Caron wanted to use visual features that would feel right at home in a Disney princess story to their most punishing effect and perhaps the most powerful one of these motifs reoccurs when “The Crown” has Diana descend another spiral staircase. “[Ben] was very specific about this spiral because she’s going down on a spiral emotionally,” Goldman said of the shot that leads Diana down to the kitchen, a moment of late night desperation that kicks off her eating disorder. “He didn’t want to follow her on the steps, like on a steadicam. He wanted [the camera to be] facing down and going down with her to the very bottom of her feelings and her emotions.”

Caron described it as going to the “bottom of a well,” once Diana enters the kitchens and becomes enveloped in darkness — except for the fluorescent blues of the refrigerator lights, which makes the space feel like a morgue. This strong use of color, like all the changes in the episode, is grounded in the reality of whatever space Diana finds herself in. But the emotion and, indeed, the foreshadowing that Caron and Goldman are able to imbue those spaces with give Diana’s spiral real visual potency and a visceral sadness.

“The Crown” Season 4, Ep. 3 “The Fairytale” Screenshot

What is so thrilling about “Fairytale” is that it spares no one. Two striking scenes toward the end of the episode don’t have Diana in them at all, and yet push the series’ visual language to show how the palace and this marriage will swallow the characters who have been there all along.

In the first of these, Margaret tries to persuade Elizabeth, the Queen Mother (Marion Bailey), and Philip (Tobias Menzies) to call off the wedding. Caron wanted the scene to have a “conspiratorial, almost a Jacobian feel” to highlight the cold, businesslike calculations these four people are making for the happiness of two others.

“I remember saying to Adriano,’no no no, let’s go darker,” Caron said of this sequence and the next one. Goldman also recalled the desire to push the scene even further visually, lighting characters at harsh, dynamic angles or in almost complete shadow, so that the scene would feel spiritually closer to “The Godfather” than to the show’s usual style. The comparison is apt, given the mahogany browns and greens of the sitting room and the firelight that Goldman and Caron used to emphasize shadows falling into the crags on the characters’ faces. Vito Corleone could easily be sitting in a corner of one of those frames.

“The Crown” Season 4, Ep. 3 “The Fairytale” Screenshot

The next scene — when Elizabeth goes to find Charles and offer him a final few words on his marriage — Caron and Goldman viewed as a way to visually crystalize their relationship and how it is marred by their obligations to the monarchy. “Wouldn’t it be painful if you had Charles looking out the window and he felt the reflections of the fireworks and the noise and the celebrations outside?” Caron said about how he started conceiving of the blocking and framing of the exchange between mother and son. Each cinematic choice builds from a sense of what would be more painful, what would put more strain on the relationship.

“The Crown” Season 4, Ep. 3 “The Fairytale” Screenshot

The filmmakers created this visual strain between Queen and Crown Prince not just by keeping them at opposite sides in the composition, but by keeping one of the pair always just out of focus in the shots with the two of them — they can’t even occupy the same level of detail in the frame. Color plays a role, too, with bright blues and reds from the fireworks, reflections of the Union Jack, always being part of the light through which the audience sees the resigned sadness on Colman’s face and the abject misery on O’Connor’s. Goldman said this is the scene where he realizes he will never escape the system of the monarchy. “He realizes it’s too late. It’s a trap. He’s been trapped.”

“It always comes back to the Crown,” Caron said, and it is really from the perspective of the Crown itself that we watch the characters prepare to head to church on the day of the wedding. When the audience finally sees Diana in her dress, she faces away from the camera and moves into that oppressive cavernous space which has put so much pressure on her throughout the episode. It’s a slow, almost funereal march toward the fate the audience already knows awaits her. Charles, on the other hand, gets the close-up this time. But the camera, with equal grimness, tracks slightly down and in, so that his face begins to loom over the frame, making him look monstrous.

“The Crown” Season 4, Ep. 3 “The Fairytale” Screenshot

Of course by now, the visual choices that Caron and Goldman made for “Fairytale” have taught the viewer that there is another monster, a much more powerful one, looming over the episode’s final frame: The Crown is the monster that always gets you in the end.

[valley-of-the-lost]

I don't know if you watched BPA, but.. I have a question, that I don't know if you can answer this, but it's been nagging at me (this is a multi-part ask, this will be a quick rundown): A blog that used to be interested in Barbie claimed that BPA has some racist undertones; this is because, as they claimed, due to the antagonist (who has, as they put it, brown skin) tries to take over the kingdom of a white princess/queen. 1/?- Barbie Multiverse Anon

Okay, so, a quick explanation. This ask has been sitting in my inbox for a few days, and I sincerely apologize to Multiverse Anon for making them wait this long for me to weigh in on this. When I received this ask I was neck-deep in part of an art challenge that wore me out and I had not watched BPA (which I assumed was Barbie Princess Adventure) at the time, and I felt that this was the type of ask that I needed to chew on for a couple days and talk to some people before I was certain of my thoughts on it.

Now, I have done some cursory research, watched Barbie Princess Adventure myself, and bounced it off some of my friends for their take as well. Thus I will attempt to answer this to the best of my ability.

I do agree with the unknown blogger in question that Prince Johan is a brown-skinned character, and that the plot has racist implications due to the combination of this, him being the antagonist, and the fact that his kingdom lost a war to Amelia's prior to the plot to drive his motivation hence why Amelia is taking over the rule of both her own and his kingdom. However, I disagree with them that this is an ongoing theme or that there's a pattern of racist undertones in previous Barbie movies. At least from my own knowledge. 

(under a read more because I don’t want to clog people’s dashes, this is not a simple topic to unpack + the movie did some weird things I wanted to explain too)

Before I really delve into the meat of why I take this stance, I want to quickly discuss why I had to even assert that I agreed that Johan is a brown-skinned character as its own point on the off-chance someone else encounters the same initial weird impression I did. You can skip this part if you want, I'll put a triple asterisk where this ends (***).

Prior to watching BPA myself, I did some cursory research on the Barbie Movies wiki, prompted by this ask. I put together that Johan was probably the antagonist that was being referred to, but when I was on his page, his wiki picture was just this.

This was all I had to go off of at this point, because he didn't have a screenshot gallery for me to cross-reference him throughout different points in the movie. So the conclusion I drew at the time was "he just looks like a tan white guy". This impression was reinforced by his light eyes and recycled Ken face model. I cross-referenced this with some friends, and we came to the conclusion that at best he looks racially ambiguous, with no reason to think he was a character of color unless there was other indication about his race in the movie itself.

And then I watched the movie. And changed my mind when I saw what he looked like in these scenes.

Johan looks noticeably darker than he did in his single wiki picture, especially when next to other more obviously white characters like Barbie and Amelia. His skin tone is closer to Alphonso whom I would call a brown character pretty confidently in the same movie (I wanted to minimize comparisons across movies to eliminate the possible different variables that would come with it).

While this might not be as noticeable to other people casually watching the movie, I found this a bit jarring myself because I was focusing on his skin tone in particular due to the subject of the ask and my initial impression from the wiki picture when he was arguably at his lightest in the whole movie, as well as when he was introduced he was at his darkest because it was set at night. Also the way the animation team decided to shade him to convey that its nighttime confused me because he looked a lot darker than I thought someone of what I assumed his skin tone would look. And then the next scene with him and Barbie further confused me, because he suddenly got this reddish undertone that really highlighted their difference in skin color.

(Barbie’s hands are on the left and Johan’s are on the right for sake of direct comparison)

Finally, in his last scenes in the movie, Johan's skin tone is most like that of his wiki picture's. Darker than Barbie's when they stand in the same shot but light enough that he could've passed as a tan white guy. What cemented my confusion is that he still looks like this in the throne room, where he was before when dancing with Barbie so it should reasonably have the same lighting and bring out that reddish undertone, but no he still looks like that. So my final conclusion on him was that since he looks like a brown-skinned character in around 2/3s of his scenes and there's a 2D painting of him in the bg when Barbie and Amelia are kidnapped, that he is indeed a brown-skinned character and the animation department probably fucked up their lighting which messed with how uniform his skin tone looked across scenes. ***

Now that I've explained my process of confusion and then final agreement that Johan is indeed brown-skinned, let's discuss how this compounds with other elements to create a rather unfortunate picture. I'm afraid its a bit worse than Anon described.

First off, the added context of the history between Amelia's kingdom of Floravia and his kingdom of Johanistan. Prior to the movie proper, these two countries fought in a war and Johanistan eventually surrendered to Floravia. The two countries signed a treaty that said that after her coronation, Amelia would rule both Floravia and Johanistan.

There is a severe lack of critical details about the war itself, such as what caused it in the first place, which really works to the film’s disadvantage, since the absence of clarity does little to clear up the questionable implications of what is known about the relationship between Floravia and Johanistan.

Amelia’s kingdom is the one that took over Johan’s initially, since they won the war and Johanistan would be ruled by Floravia’s queen, with the implication being that she’d depose Johan’s family, the original ruling family. While the lack of details makes it so it can’t quite be said that Floravia is colonizing Johanistan, it also means that it can’t be said that Floravia is not colonizing Johanistan. What is known about the war is very broadly reminiscent of tactics white people have used to colonize other countries, such as using a war to depose the original royal family for the colonizer’s own gain (the US colonizing Hawaii by staging a coup against their ruling family because the white plantation owners got mad) and putting the other country in a disadvantageous position with a treaty (Opium Wars). This would probably just be viewed as normal Kingdom vs. Kingdom politics if... well Johan wasn’t a character of color.

Combined with viewing this movie through the lens of real-life racial biases (which people are predisposed to do because we're inherently based in reality), the likely conclusion drawn is that this white ruler (Amelia) is effectively ousting a character of color (Johan) and his family out of power and force-assimilating his country, and there's simply not enough clarity about previous events before the movie takes place to dispel it sufficiently.

This also poisons the plot proper because Johan's motivation is to take advantage of the law that the rule of both kingdoms falls to him if Amelia doesn't show up to coronation and regain rule of his own kingdom and Floravia as a nice plus. The intention was probably to show him as greedy for wanting lone rule of Floravia and Johanistan, taken together, it honestly comes across as the movie villianizing a character of color because he wants to regain sovereignty of his own kingdom from a white ruler. Its completely understandable that Amelia wouldn't want to lose her own kingdom especially coming off of war, but also her kingdom is also the one ousting out the previous royal family of Johanistan without giving any good reason why they can't compromise.

The effect would be somewhat mitigated if another character of color had a similarly prominent role as Johan on the side of Barbie, but there's really not. The closest I'd argue would be Alphonso, but he doesn't have equal plot relevance. This does, in my opinion, make Barbie Princess Adventure's plot give off racist vibes like that unknown blogger said. But I do not agree with them that there's a "pattern" of racist undertones in other Barbie movies.

Due to the lack of details of what exactly they meant by a "pattern" of racist undertones, I am assuming they mean a consistent pattern of racism across the movies, for example the movies consistently dipping into anti-Asian sentiments with their villains, or their plots inherently having racist vibes woven into them like I just talked about in BPA.

Despite the Barbie movies occasionally dipping into offensive territory, in my personal experience I have not observed a pattern of racist undertones or consistent racism targeting a specific group. I acknowledge that I could fully be wrong and a lot of things could have slipped past my notice, especially since I have not seen all the movies, but from the ones I have seen I have not observed a pattern with regards to this. However, I will point out the offensive/iffy things in the movies that I know of, with varying degrees of detail depending on how much I can remember. This is by no means a full compendium of all the problematic stuff Barbie films have touched on but these are the ones I am aware of at present.

Barbie of Swan Lake - Antisemitism. There was a TikTok on this somewhere that discussed this more in detail that I can't find but will link if I do, but what I do remember was Rothbart was given an extremely large nose which is reminiscent of the "Jewish nose" ethnic stereotype. Also there was something about his name and Tchaikovsky himself being antisemitic and those views being reflected in his ballet. I don't remember all the details I'm sorry and google wasn't giving me much.

Barbie in the Princess and the Pauper - Antisemitism. Preminger hits a couple of antisemitic stereotypes in the movie, such as having a noticeably larger, hooked nose compared to the other male characters which is reminiscent of the ethnic stereotype of the "Jewish nose" and being greedy and corrupt (literally mining every singe piece of gold out of the mines) which is a stereotype of Jewish people. His name is also of Jewish origin which by itself wouldn’t be a necessarily suspicious thing but combined with those other tropes it does add up.

Barbie Diaries - Tia, a black woman and also the only one with curly hair in the cast, making an iffy comment about "getting the tangles out of her hair". POC with different hair textures have gotten a lot of racist shit for their hair so even though this is a small oneoff comment seeing Tia talk about her hair like this in a negative manner rubbed some of my friends with curly hair wrong.

Barbie in a Mermaid Tale 2 - Polynesian racism. Another friend of mine who is Hawaiian brought this up in Mermaid Tale 2, when Merliah and co decided to have a luau (which is a traditional Hawaiian party or feast usually accompanied by entertainment) in Australia. My friend found it a bit iffy they were doing this when most everyone is white, but what they found worse was when poi was being served in the luau. Poi is a traditional Polynesian dish, but in the movie they claimed it was an Australian and Hawaiian dish, which its not, there’s no Australia in its origin. And then there was a "gag" where the people eating the poi were gagging on it, so essentially this movie was making a joke out of another culture's aesthetics and food.

Barbie Princess Adventure - Reread the above text.

Maybe my sample size isn’t big enough but I’m not seeing a pattern or a trend here, which in my opinion would be a larger cause for concern because for these movies their issues are largely contained to their specific movie, and a pattern would be indication of a wider problem. Maybe you see a pattern I don’t, that would be completely valid.

Now, do I think this means you can’t enjoy Barbie Princess Adventure? No, I’d be a bit of a hypocrite if I said that because I still enjoy some of the Barbie movies I listed above that I just said also have problematic elements (Swan Lake and Princess and the Pauper specifically). But I do think it is good to at the very least be aware of it, hear it out, keep it in mind. At the same time I understand why people would be turned off by this topic because they’re here to have fun riding the serotonin of childhood nostalgia and not delve into discourse.

But I hope I answered your question to your satisfaction Multiverse Anon! I’m going to go take a nap now I’m tired 😭.

[obsessivelollipoplalala]

Submission

Hey there, long time no see!

I've been dipping in and out of Tumblr the last couple of weeks and have been keeping up with all your interesting discussions with anons (sorry, stalkerish I know, but I find it both insightful and entertaining.) I couldn't help but notice @just-a-poor-boy-queen posted about our good old friend on Instagram spouting her usual bullshit, only this time she apparently has proof that her claims are real from Lying Ass Jerkoff , sorry, Lesley Ann Jones' latest book. According to her, as you already know, she claims that Lesley denounces Jim and Freddie's relationship and Jim apparently confessed to her that he never loved Freddie, that he used him for fame, etc. etc.

Which is...very interesting. Because LAJ's biography, Bohemian Rhapsody, claims the exact opposite.

While I was out in town today, I visited my local bookstore and unintentionally stumbled across the book in the biography section. My first instinct was to ignore it - I know for a fact it's trash - but curiosity got the better of me and I ended up having a flip through.

First off, the amount of stuff she gets wrong is hilarious. Some of them were minute errors, others the average Queen fan could tell you is fake. I'm pretty sure she talked about Freddie taking Princess Diana out in drag and the party with the midgets carrying bowls of cocaine on their heads, which we know never happened. There was also a picture of Freddie and Mary (one where Freddie is leaning on Mary while she's smoking a cigarette,) that was captioned "the happy couple relaxing together," which made me laugh out loud because it was allegedly taken in 1975 when Freddie was dating David behind Mary's back. Relationship goals, ammirite?

And don't get me started on the Barbara stuff, I stg, LAJ seems low-key obsessed with her.

Anyway, I ended up skipping to the end where she talks about Jim; she does indeed claim that she stayed with him in Carlow (not sure what year,) and that she interviewed him while she was there. This is what she had to say:

On Jim's motivation for writing M&M: (Jones) "Jim Hutton later explained that it was anger, not money, that prompted him to write his memoir. He wanted the world to know the truth, and could see no other way."

(Jones) "There is no doubt that Jim, the bereft lover, embarked upon his selective 1994 biography with the intention of creating a tender tribute to an adored partner. This was blurred by a co-writer who dwelled more on sensational aspects of the relationship, as well as on intimate details of Freddie's final days."

(Jones) "Given Jim's Catholic background, and the fact that his mother was still alive when he published, it must have taken immense courage to write the book."

About the GL boys being erased by Jim Beach: (Jim) "I think Jim Beach was angry that my book ruined the myth of Freddie. All it did was return him to his original status of a human being. It told the truth. Beach wanted fans to believe that sweet Mary Austin was the love of Freddie's life, and what a great, tragic, romantic tale it all was."

(Jones) "Jim was consequently banished from the Queen camp." (She goes on to explain it's likely because everyone was grieving, but I don't buy it.)

(Jones) "Freddie's will raised countless questions, some of which would never be resolved." (I thought this was interesting, given that I've seen speculation that Freddie might have been influenced over what to put in his will before.)

On Dave Clark: (Jones) "The press reported that Dave Clark had said he was the only person in the bedroom when Freddie died. 'He was not the only person in the room,' Jim stated. 'But it was quoted all over the place.' The error must have been perturbed the sensitive and caring Clark, for on his birthday, Jim received a beautiful card from him. 'The inscription he wrote inside read "you were there.' " (Jim goes on to recount the exact same version of events written in Mercury & Me about Freddie's death. He speaks highly of Clark, saying he was brilliant when Freddie was ill and would sit with him for hours. Jim seems more angry at the press spreading lies than at Dave himself. I've seen people argue that Dave was the one spreading the rumours to the paper or he did nothing to refute them, but who knows, perhaps he was a victim of the tabloids too.)

Phoebe testifying to Jim's character: (Phoebe) "Those concerned have to live with themselves. Mary once said of Jim that he had 'a very vivid imagination.' I knew Jim a very long time, and never knew him to be anything other than totally honest. Jim's conscience, like mine, will always be clear." (Given how Phoebe now makes a point of saying that Jim "exaggerated" stuff in his book, I find this a tad hypocritical. Still, I appreciate him sticking up for Jim and saying that those who are trying to change Freddie's legacy will have to live with that on their conscience. Also, fuck you Mary, if you did say that about Jim.)

On Jim's love for Freddie: (Jones) "There are still times when I can be pottering around in the garden, and Freddie's facial expression when he died will come into my mind," he told me in Ireland, "I can blank out what happened consciously but not subconsciously. It is impossible to forget. I learned so much from him, not least a positive outlook. Freddie's attitude was always, 'But you can, don't you see? You can do it. Put your mind to it, you'll see what you can do' That was one of the loveliest things about him."

(Jones) "During the time I spent with Jim in picturesque County Carlow, there was no doubt that the love Jim claimed to have felt for Freddie was genuine. He was a warm and decent man who was content with his lot. He was eternally grateful, he told me, for having experienced the superstar lifestyle through Freddie."

(Jones) "Jim would never truly recover from the loss."

I took screenshots of all the quotes above, which I'm happy to submit if anyone is interested. I would love to have seen what else she said about Jim, but taking pictures of book pages in the middle of a shop isn't the best look, so I kept it brief. 

So, overall, Lesley seems to have a very high opinion of Jim, and believed the love between he and Freddie was genuine. Which is quite surprising, given that she downplays all of Freddie's other relationships with men in favour of promoting his fictional "romance" with Miss Valentin. Of course, this could all be complete bullshit and she never met Jim at all, but if she is telling the truth for once in her life, then she's one of few biographers who was very much supportive of Jimercury.

As one of the anons correctly stated, we have two possible scenarios.

A) If crazy lady is telling the truth, and Jones does make all these negative claims about Jim in her new book, then she was either lying in Bohemian Rhapsody or she's lying now in her latest cash cow. In this scenario, she's a liar either way. But tell us something we don't know.

B) Crazy Lady is pretending to have read the book, or read it and was angry there was nothing bad about Jim, and is fabricating quotes to suit her anti-Jim agenda, knowing her thick-as-bricks followers will just take her word for it and not bother looking for evidence. This is the most likely scenario. 

I know most people with a brain know not to trust the word of either of these women, but I thought it would be fun to dismantle some of Insta lady's claims regardless, in case there was anyone out there having doubts.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

-------------

Hi there! It's good to see you again.

This...is a lot to think about lol. Since LAJ is such a liar, it's hard to believe she really sat down with Jim, or that most of what she said was from primary sources. However, it is strange that she spoke so highly of Jim given...everything else she's ever said lol. The quotes above do fit with what other people have said about Jim and Garden Lodge as a whole, though. It's very strange because it's either she decided to be factual with this, or lie about getting these quotes but decide to stick up for Jim, anyway. Weird, weird, weird.

It's really hard to know who's lying in the new book, LAJ or the hater lady. They're both so unreliable. It does seem too convenient that what LAJ supposedly says lines up with the hater lady rhetoric, but idk. Apparently LAJ blocked the hater lady on twitter, too lmao. So maybe it's the hater lady who's lying? But I can believe LAJ suddenly changing her tune, too.

I don't know. Thank you for sharing this information. I have more questions than answers now lol but still