#i was literally hiking for my old job 2 months ago i told you this. lack of exercise is not the issue

[thedisablednaturalist]

im deficient in folic acid and b12 yippeee

[nataliedanovelist]

GF + OH - Fallen Owls pt.1

Summary: What happens when the milf of The Owl House meets the dilf of Gravity Falls? Find out in this multi-chapter crossover fic.

pt.2

~~~~~~~~~~

Episode Placement:

GF = after finale (S3?) OH = between S1E5 and E6 It was late, passed the gremlins’ bedtime, but it was summer, meaning the term “bedtime” had very little meaning unless Stan was tired and needed to make the kids quiet. But as of right now he was content sitting in his old armchair, boxers and undershirt and slippers and all, munching on popcorn with his family, sitting around telling stories. Stan and his twin brother, Ford, had just finished telling Dipper and Mabel more about the sirens they had faced a few months ago. While sailing around the world was a dream come true, it was nice to take a break to spend the summer with the niblings.

Dipper, having just heard how Stan had been charmed by the sirens’ song, chuckled and asked, “So, did you ever have any luck finding ‘babes’?” Stan rubbed the back of his neck with a sheepish smile. “Nah, but there’s always next year.” “Yeah, don’t worry about it, Grunkle Stan.” Mabel said as she popped some popcorn into her mouth. “You’ll find some pretty girl that is everything you deserve!” Stan, turning red, waved the subject away. “Thanks, sweetie, but it’s fine.” Ford, sitting on the dino-skull, elbowed him lightly and teased, “He’s still heartbroken over Carla McCorckle.” Mabel blew a raspberry. “If I ever find her I’m gonna give her a left-hook and break her nose!” Stan laughed and ruffled her hair. “That’s not necessary, kid. I’m over her.” “And it only took you forty years.” Ford added, earning him a punch on the shoulder. “I’ll have you know I’ve been with plenty of gals after Carla!” Stan quipped. “Heck, I was married once when I was traveling the country!” “Wait, what?!” The whole room gasped at the same time. Ford blinked like a confused owl. “I… I didn’t know that.” “Me, neither.” Mabel said and leaned on Stan’s knee. Dipper, meanwhile, was silent, a memory coming to mind. “Truth is I’ve been divorced once and slapped more times than I can remember.” “What happened? GASP! Do I have a secret Graunty you never told me about?!” Stan barked a laugh. “Hah! No, sorry pumpkin. I was actually married for less than a day. Vegan situation. We reached for the same slot machine handle and it was love at first sight. Marilyn. Had hair like a airline stordis and a neon pink shirt that said ‘Over thirty and very flirty’. Man I was, I was putty in her hands.” Stan said lightly, recalling the most romantic evening he ever had. “You should’ve seen the way she threw dice. One time right at my head. Turns out she only married me to distract me while she stole my car and my winnings. I guess her name was fake and, hair was fake. But ya know, the love was real.” Stan added with a casual shrug. “She was really the one that got away. Like, literally, it was a proper get away. She was chased by cop cars for a mile out of Vegas before ducking out of a door and into a canyon and making off with my loot. Sometimes I still think of her.” The old conman admitted. “That pale bingo hall skin. That one weirdly sharp tooth.” Stan’s face dropped at the sight of his family and he quickly said, “Sorry, I’m getting nostalgic.” “More like love-sick.” Dipper teased. “AW!” Mabel squealed. “That’s so sweet! Maybe you’ll find her one day!” Stan laughed and shook his head. “I doubt it, sweetie, but hey. Who needs stealing babes when I’ve got you three, right?” Mabel yawned and stretched her arms over her head. Ford chuckled and stood up, popping his back. “I think you two should head to bed. It’s getting late and we’re going camping tomorrow, remember?” Mabel gasped happily and stood. “You’re right!” She hugged both her uncles and wished them goodnight and then walked with her brother up the stairs for the attic, then Ford left to go finish packing, leaving Stan alone. He leaned on his knuckles, elbow on his armchair, and he remembered Marilyn. ~~~~~~~~~~ Mabel was grinning from ear to ear as she skipped ahead on the trail in the woods. “Finally, a real family camping trip!” Grunkle Ford, Dipper, and Grunkle Stan were right behind her, the Pines family heading back to the Mystery Shack after a fun night sleeping under the stars around a campfire. They were all smiling and happy to be reunited for the summer. While some things drastically changed and some things hardly changed at all, the Pines in appearance changed a little since Dipper and Mabel and turned thirteen. Mabel had always been nothing but smiles in the past, but if it was even possible she grinned even more now, proud to show off her braces-free white teeth. She still sported amazing sweaters with colorful headbands and skirts, today wearing a brown skirt and a yellow headband with a light-brown sweater with an owl on it, claiming she wanted to match the woods and her Grunkle Ford; he only proved her point when he blushed. Dipper and Wendy switched hats again when they saw each other when the twins came off the bus, but over his orange t-shirt he wore a green flannel unbuttoned and he matched it with blue jeans. No longer out in the freezing Arctic, Stan left behind his long coat, but he kept his white t-shirt, dark pants, red beanie, and water-proof boots for the hiking trip. Ford, the easily cold twin, still wore red turtleneck and dark pants and boots, but his smile was much more genuine and the crack in his glasses was gone. Grunkle Ford patted his niece’s shoulder. “It is nice to have some quality family bonding.” “Next time I say we go fishing.” Stan injected. “Not as many creepy spider-fires or whatever.” “Scampfires.” “I still say whatever.” Dipper chuckled and continued to sketch in his pinetree journal, shading in trees of his drawing of the woods. But he was pulled from his pleasant thoughts by his great-uncle. “Seriously, kid, you’re gonna walk into a tree and then I’m gonna laugh. You need to get your head outta book and see the rest of the world.” “Grunkle Stan, how do you think people shared the world back in your day? You know, when dinosaurs roamed the Earth?” Dipper quipped. “Oh, ho! Wise guy, huh?” Stan wrapped an arm around his neck and rubbed his knuckles on the top of his head. “Alright, Poindexter Jr…” “No! No nuggies!” “Yes nuggies!” “Ford!” Dipper laughed, calling for backup. Mabel, meanwhile, was slowly being pulled away mentally from the touching scene of guys being dudes as the internet would have called it. Distracting her, a tiny brown owl with cute round eyes was hopping. Not just hopping, appearing from behind one oak tree to the neck, but hopping with a sack clamped by the beak. Mabel watched it with wide eyes, hoping for another look, and the second glance she got of it was so brief she didn’t know how much faith she should have in her eyes, but it looked like that sack had things like a Cubic Cube, a newspaper, a floppy disk, a basketball, and other items that could be classified as junk. Mabel decided not to wait for another glance at the owl and to go look at it for herself. Mabel wandered off the path animals had made and moved in between trees and bushes quietly. Her brown eyes eventually landed on the little owl and she followed it; the clattering of the owl or it’s determination to finish it’s job must have been the reason why it didn’t hear Mabel and try to hide or lose her. The young Pines lady watched, walking farther and farther away from her family, and the owl hopped behind a tree and never emerged. Mabel smiled, thinking she was about to find an owl’s nest in the tree or a stash of human things by the tree’s roots, but when she turned to look behind the tree, she gasped to find a doorway that glowed white. Mabel looked around her for anyone that might have an answer or for any clue as to why this doorway was here, but she was alone. Gravity Falls certainly was where this sort of thing might happen, but that did not guarantee that this was safe. Maybe she should have the guys look at this thing. Mabel turned around, her back to the doorway, to leave, but she saw something above her and took in a sharp breath. Stan had Dipper pinned on the grass now, both of them laughing, with Ford shaking his head and scolding lightly. “Stanley, that’s enough.” “Don’t worry, Grunkle Ford, I promise not to break such an old man.” Dipper teased as he lightly fought back, “Old man?!” Stan repeated in pretend offense. They were interrupted by a blood curdling scream that made their hearts drop. Stan immediately got off of his nephew and stared ahead, terrified. “Mabel…” And he ran for the direction he heard the scream with Ford and Dipper at his heels. Mabel pulled her grappling hook out of her hiking-backpack and tried to calm down, but it was hard to with the dangerous anomaly liking it’s chops at the sight of her. It was like a gray lizard, but ten feet long, including the tail, and only on it’s four legs it was seven feet tall. It’s eyes were red and narrow and cold, and it had long sharp claws like a dragon’s and a long snout like a crocodile. Mabel shot her grappling hook at the monster and it hit it on the snout, tossing its head back. The lizard hissed but did not back down. It advanced, getting closer to Mabel, and she wanted to back away, but she was careful not to touch the spooky doorway. Stan saw the scene first, appearing out of the corner of Mabel’s eye. “Mabel!” “Grunkle Stan, what do I do?!” She asked, her eyes glued to the giant lizard. Ford and Dipper caught up. The younger moved to jump between his sister and the monster, but Ford stopped him with a firm six-fingered hand. “No! Listen to me, Mabel. That thing is called a Stone-Reptilian. They're excellent at camouflaging into mountains and can hang onto a one-hundred-and-eighty degree wall for hours, waiting for its prey. It actually has two tongues: one for licking its eyes since it doesn't have eyelids, and one for paralyzing it’s dinner and dragging the meal into its mouth.” “So what do I do?!” Mabel begged, shaking a little at the idea of being paralyzed and then eaten alive. “Mabel, stay calm, it’s alright.” Ford soothed with a voice as soft as silk. “Stone-Reptilians have excellent eyesight, but they’re deaf. Notice how it’s isn’t reacting to us. Now, I want you to…” The Stone-Reptilian suddenly whipped out it’s long, thorn-covered tongue to paralyze Mabel, but she was too quick and leaped through the doorway to survive. As she did, it disappeared, and the Pines men were left to scream and then fight for their own lives. ~~~~~~~~~~ “Whoops, can’t have another stowaway, can I?” A voice said, and then before Mabel knew it, her way back home was gone. She observed her new surroundings. Misfit things like a refrigerator, a grandfather clock, an old mattress, and cardboard boxes full of items cluttered what looked like a big tent, judging by the cloth walls and such. Mabel smiled with wonder at the things. “Wow. What a collection.” She whispered. Her eyes landed on a small glass ballerina on top of a music box. She turned the ballerina around with a finger to catch a few music notes. Mabel smiled, but was once again distracted. “Right, let’s see here… Nope. Garbage. Garbage. Another one of these? Oh, well. Good thing the potions have been selling. I should really thank Luz for helping me take out that competitor. Or not.” Mabel covered her mouth with both hands to keep from snorting; that sounded like something her Grunkle Stan would say. Her heart sagged a little and she turned to look back at where the magical doorway once was. Despite what he might pretend, Mabel knew Stan would be really worried about her. She needed to find a way back home. She crawled on her hands and knees out from under the tent and then got up to explore. “Okay, let’s see…” Mabel looked around to find herself outside in the open air. She raised an eyebrow. “The… Crawlspace? I thought it was underground? Maybe there’s more to it! Won’t Grunkle Ford be surprised!” Mabel cheered and looked around for anything familiar, but the longer she looked, the more she realized nothing was like back in Gravity Falls. She stood at the edge of a cliff, overlooking an odd city of some kind. Giant monster hands with no body stood like trees. Smoke rose from chimneys of medieval-looking houses. A small herd of cat-sized dragons flocked by the clouds. A mammoth roared like a lion and then walked into the ocean. Something resembling an orange nun was selling bags of oozing red stuff to tiny red monsters with teeth and fangs for a face. People were riding a giant caterpillar from inside its mouth and then kissing it for a toll. Mabel’s heart was racing from excitement and fear. Nothing here was familiar, but she was familiar with the unfamiliar. She grasped the straps of her backpack and took a deep breath. “Okay, Mabel, you’ve obviously discovered another rift and came to another dimension. Just remember what your grunkles taught you. Don’t touch this dimension's version of yourself or everything will explode. I just gotta live long enough for them to find me. Easy.” Her stomach suddenly growled. Mabel clenched her stomach on reflex, but then remembered her bag of marshmallows, pulled them out, and began to munch on her fluffy sugar pillows. She turned around and walked away from the tent she had left, saw she was in some sort of market, and walked down the street to explore calmly. ~~~~~~~~~~ “And remember to apply it twice a day for the best results.” Luz said friendly to a blue monster made out of goo as she handed her the small bag of dust and the customer closed the door on the human. Luz wiped her sweaty forehead with her wrist and groaned. “Man, it’s so hot today. Ready to head home, King? King?” She looked down to find that the king of demons had found the perfect spot on the porch to nap in the sunshine. Luz smiled, scratched his back, and scooped him up one-armed while her other hand carried the empty sack. “Eh?” King woke up, angry and cute. “Luz! I was having the perfect dream!” “About what?” “What could be more perfect than sleeping?!” “You were dreaming about sleeping?” Luz clarified with a confused smile. “Don’t you?” Luz snorted a laugh and walked through Bonesburrow. Compared to the rest of the Boiling Isles, the apprentice had learned that this was the quietest neck of the woods. King’s nose caught a delightful scent, but the demon was unsure if he should believe it. He sat up in Luz’s arm and smelled the air. “What is it?” Luz asked. “Hm, it’s sweet. Really sweet.” King commented and shivered. “Like, really sweet. So sweet it’ll put anyone in a sugar-induced coma.” “Well, why don’t we just go home and we can have some of Eda’s strawberry jelly instead.” Luz suggested as they turned a corner. She immediately saw the one really really weird thing in the Boiling Isles, apart from her. Another human. After being away from home for about three weeks, Luz didn’t think she would be so happy to see another human girl or see human food that wasn’t red, but here she was, eyes sparkling with happy tears over the sight. Mabel’s eye eventually landed on Luz and the two stared at each other, a good twenty feet away from each other. After a few moments, however, they both shouted, “ANOTHER HUMAN!” And ran towards each other, King clinging onto Luz’s arms in order not to fall. “Wait,” The brunette said and looked worried. “Is this your first time seeing another human here? How long have you been trapped here?!” She apparently had drawn the conclusion that there was no way out of this place. “Oh, no,” The Latino smiled and shook her head. “I’m not trapped here; I can leave whenever I want, I just choose not to.” “Oh. Cool! Hi! I’m Mabel!” “Hi, Mabel.” Luz greeted. “I’m Luz! So… how did you get here?” Mabel’s face dropped a little and she looked around. “You know, I’m not really sure. One minute I was camping with my family and the next I’m falling through a door that disappears and takes me here.” Luz giggled and shook her head. “You must have fallen through Eda’s door. Don’t worry, I can get you back home.” “You can?!” Mabel hugged her tightly, squishing King in between the two girls. “ThankyouthankyouTHANKYOU!” Luz, who was quite the hugger but lived with two hug-haters, grinned and relished in the hug, until a high-voice yelled, “AH! What is with you humans and this tight holding ritual?!” Mabel’s eyes got wide and she jumped away, looking around wildly; that voice sounded too familiar for comfort, but when she saw the king of demons, she gasped with a huge grin and shining eyes. “OH MY GOSH! How cute!!!” She squealed. “Thanks.” Luz giggled and rubbed his belly. “This is the King of Demons.” “This little bundle of joy?” Mabel asked, happily smoothing over his skull and scratching his back. “That’s what I said!” “Hey, hey, easy with the merchandise!” King complained. “What makes you think you can… oh! Oh! Right there, yup, right there.” Mabel had found the right scratching spot, just between his shoulder-blades, and King relaxed in Luz’s arms, almost asleep he was so comfortable. Mabel giggled and asked, “So, how can you get me back to my family?” Luz gave it a moment’s thought and said, “Well, I guess we could take you to Eda and have her send you home, but she’ll be going home soon and it’s kinda…” The girls screamed as a huge guard jumped in front of them. He glared down at the humans and said, “Human previously associated with Eda the Owl Lady, you’re hereby under arrest!” “Not today, sucka!” Luz yelled, threw down one of Eda’s smoke bombs, and grabbed Mabel’s wrist. “Come on! I know where to go!” “Crazy monsters, criminals, smoke bombs, demons… I LOVE IT HERE!” Mabel cheered as she was fleeing with her new friends. ~~~~~~~~~~ Stan huffed, catching his breath, with his hands on his knees. Ford helped Dipper up cautiously, scanning him over for broken bones from when the monster swung his tail at the boy and slammed him against a tree, but apart from being shaken up, he was fine. Now that the Stone-Reptilian was gone, the Pines men were free to worry about the most important thing in their whole world. “MABEL?!” Stan screamed and looked around wildly for the rift that took her away. “MABEL! MABEL, SWEETIE!” “Mabel!” Ford called out. “Mabel, can you hear us?!” “MABEL! MABEL!” Stan screamed and ignored his stinging eyes. Dipper’s own brown eyes were aching, too, but he refused to be seen as weak and he powered through. “Did… did that thing… g-g-get her?” “No.” Ford said firmly. “I saw it. She fell through… some sort of door, or a rift.” “A-A door?” “It was rectangular like one, but it was hard to tell.” “The Crawlspace!” Dipper gasped and slapped his forehead. “Don’t the entrances change randomly through Gravity Falls? What if she fell through and is down at the black market?” “What, you mean she’s probably surrounded by dangerous monsters in some freaky market?” Stan asked. “It’s a likely possibility.” Ford speculated, holding his cleft chin. “Scour the area. If it was an entrance to the Crawlspace, one will show up again soon.” The three men split up, relatively close, and searched for an anomaly. Maybe a hole in a tree or in the ground, what might have been passed as a bird’s nest or a groundhog’s home could actually be an entrance. Stan was checking some bushes when he thought he heard a strange noise and he looked ahead. A rectangular white light appeared on an oak tree and soon an owl with an empty sack in its beak hopped out. Stan gasped and thought that this was the doorway that took his little girl. Ford saw his twin run out of the corner of his eye and then disappear through the hole. “Stanley, wait!” He called and ran towards him, disappearing, too. Then the doorway was gone. Dipper looked around nervously. “Hello? Guys?” He paused, letting it sink in that, once again, he was alone. “I swear if she’s at MAB3L again…” ~~~~~~~~~~ Stan had stopped. Ford then accidently ran into him and they both fell forward. “Sixer, get off!” “Shh!” Ford slapped a polydactyl hand over his brother’s mouth, which made him grumble, but before Stan could lick his hand in response, he heard what Ford was hearing. “I’ll give you fifty snails for the whole lot.” A laugh-filled snort followed. “It’s seventy-five, kid. Take it or leave it.” That voice… something was familiar about that laugh. There was grumbling and what sounded like items being collected. Stan and Ford exchanged looks and slowly got up. After looking around the tent, they peered out of the crack in the curtains to see an odd market. They awed at the sight of dozens of weird creatures. One looked like a turquoise hairless-cat. One looked like a pig with green eyes and it breathed fire on a piece of meat on a stick to cook it for a snack. A kid with pointy ears dropped a basket full of eyeballs and scrambled to pick them up. Ford grinned excitedly like a dork while Stan winced at the sight of an ice-cream eating a customer. Stan glanced to his left and he had to hold his breath to keep from gasping and blowing their cover. Wearing a tight-fitted, torn maroon dress and matching boots, gold on her chest and ears and fingers and a sharp tooth, her eyes sparkling like gold coins, a woman with big gray hair and pointy ears leaned against a table full human things and flicked through a Gold Chains for Old Men magazine with a skeptical look on her face. Stan was nearly as pale as she was when she snorted another laugh and flipped a page. “Hah! Not a bad read. Better than that kindling Luz keeps around.” She mumbled and made herself comfortable in her chair, waiting for another customer, one leg crossed over the other and she lightly kicked it as she read. Stan swallowed. There was no way. No possible way… then again, given everything weird that’s happened to him, from freaky portal, to demon triangles, to gnomes and unicorns and sirens and krakens, even to a full-blown Weirdmageddon, should he really be all that surprised that faith would bite him in the butt like this? Ford glanced down at his twin and found he could read him like an open book. “Stanley…” He hissed. The lady straightened in her seat and looked up from the magazine, listening. Now it was Stan’s turn to cover Ford’s mouth. They were still, waiting for the ady to find them, but she shrugged casually and continued to read. The men backed away, out of sight, and were each on one knee, facing each other, as they whispered. “Sixer, where the heck are we? The Crawlspace?” “I’m not sure.” Ford hissed. “I have never seen these types of anomalies before. I suppose it’s possible they hide here during the day and I had never seen them at night, but… this place feels off. To summarize, I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.” “Fine, but when what do we do about Mabel?” “Our objection is still the same. Let’s just keep a low profile and try to find her.” The twins froze when the curtain was thrown open and the lady stood before them. She immediately sneered down at them. “If you amateur pickpockets think you can…” But then she stopped, for several reasons. One: these creatures were clearly old, about her age, and so unless they had a sudden career change, they were not amateurs. Two: as a human expert and a teacher and hostess of a human, she instantly recognized these two big-eared creatures as humans. Three: something about the one in the white shirt and red hat was very familiar. “No… way…” She narrowed her golden eyes. Stan was now confident that his memory wasn’t flawed; the way she reacted to seeing him, recognizing him, confirmed that he knew her. Before he could do anything, she grabbed each twin by the ear and pinched; they were at her mercy and receiving flashbacks from when their mother was angry with them. “You two got some explaining to do.” The lady sneered. “Gah! Let us go, crazy old bat!” Stan barked as she dragged them out from the tent and made them sit on barrels for stools. “Who are you calling old, human?” The lady sneered and crossed her arms over her chest. “Just tell me what you think you’re doing here.” “Begging your pardon on our introduction,” Ford said coldly, but then softened as he and his brother did have an important mission. “But our grandniece is missing. We believe she came through here.” And he pulled out a picture of Mabel hugging a stuffed-penguin from his wallet and showed it to her. The lady peered down at the photo and said, “Sorry, old-timers, I haven’t seen anyone like that around here.” “Now, how can we trust you, Marilyn.” Stan sneered, crossing his arms over his chest. Ford’s eyes widened as he pocketed his picture. He was rendered speechless for a moment. “Oh, like you’re one to talk about honesty, Stan.” She deride. “You two know each other?!” Ford gasped, looking from his brother to the stranger rapidly like a game of tennis. “She’s your ex-wife?!” The lady snorted a laugh and sighed happily. “Ah, good times, huh?” “Not really.” Stan sneered and stood. “You still owe me five hundred bucks!” “At least you got your car back, Grumpy.” The lady teased and patted his cheek; he swatted her hand away in response and growled like an angry pitbull. “If you want my help finding your girl then play nice.” “So, you honestly didn’t see her.” Stan repeated with a raised eyebrow. “Hey, I may be a conwoman, a pickpocket, and the most powerful witch you’ll ever meet, but I wouldn’t lie if it was gonna endanger some kid.” The lady snapped her fingers and all of the human collectibles floated and gathered into a green cloth, tied up like a hobo’s luggage. She pulled out a staff and put the bag through it, making it easy to carry. Eda whistled and the little owl flew to her and landed on her staff and turned into wood. “Come along, humans, we’ll find your niece and get you two home.” Ford followed the lady and decided to be the “nice” one since Stan was obviously too salty to be one; someone had to be nice to the lady that was going to help them find Mabel. “Thank you, Marilyn.” “Oh, right. That’s not my real name…” “Knew it.” “... you’re a fool to give your real name to a casino in Vegas. It’s Edalyn, but just call me Eda. Or your worst nightmare.” “Whatever you say, toots.” Stan growled as they walked down the street. “So, Eda,” Ford cut in to try to cut the tension between the two. “What exactly is this place, and what are you?” Eda stopped suddenly and turned around, wearing a proud grin. She stabbed her staff on the ground with a small bang, making the owl come to life, the sack hanging by her fist, and she proclaimed, “I am known as the Owl Lady, the most powerful witch here on the Boiling Isles!” “A witch?” Stan laughed. “More like a b…” “I am a feared, respected, vigorous force to be reckoned with!” Eda went on and let go of the staff so it floated like a witch’s broomstick. “Come on, old-timers, let’s get a bird’s eye-view to find your girl.” They each grabbed the staff when Eda sat upon it and yelled with fear as she had them fly up in the air, leaving the old twins to dangle in the air. “GAAAAAAAH!” “EDA!” Stan yelled. “Put us down!” “That can be arranged.” Eda said cunningly and swooped down quickly. With the air drying Eda’s eyes and forming tears and the brother holding onto the staff (and each other) for dear life, all three were yelling, one with delight, two with fright. “STANLEY!” Ford shouted. “PLEASE try not to piss off your ex-wife!” Eda laughed and at the very last second, right before the men would crash into the ground, she flew them up into the sky. “Ah, don’t worry, I won’t let you two knuckleheads get hurt.” They flew softer and calmer above the Boiling Isles and the humans awed at the scene. In the carcass of a monster, by the sea, the Bones of the Isles sat snug in the midst of chaos. Eda floated to allow the men a moment to take in the scenery, smiling down at their round brown eyes. “It’s beautiful.” Ford admired. “Yup, not too shabby.” Eda commented casually. “It’s not much, but it’s home.” “We know what that’s like.” Stan muttered. “Speaking of which,” Eda said casually. “Where did you two say you were from?” “We didn’t. Gravity Falls, Oregon.” Ford answered, keeping an eye out for Mabel. “Oh, I’ve heard rumors about that place.” Eda said as she flew calmly over the town. “My door has a bad habit of appearing there way too often. I need more variety in my human collectibles.” “So, you steal our junk and try to sell it for a great price?” Stan asked; he sounded a little impressed. “That and I sell potions on the weekdays. When I’m not mentoring my student. Enough chit-chat, see your girl down there?” The men took a few more minutes to look, as well as Eda, but there was no sign of her. “No.” Ford’s voice dripped with concern. “Eda, what are the chances she was kidnapped or hurt?” “Oh, that probably didn’t happen to her.” The witch said calmly. “If she’s not safe she probably got eaten or taken by Warden Wrath.” “WHAT?!” “Relax, Sixer,” Stan said, confident in his pumpkin. “She’s our little fighter, she’ll be fine.” Eda snorted. “Sixer?” “It’s Stanford, actually.” His face was a little red over the fact that he couldn’t hide his six-fingered hands, too busy holding the magic staff to keep from falling. “Meh, I’ve seen weirder.” Eda looked like she truly didn’t care how many fingers he had; Ford appreciated that. “Well, I’ve got a great tracker at home.” The Owl Lady said and started to fly towards the red forest. “Why don’t we go pick him up and see if he can help us out. Got anything the girl held?” “Yes,” When the men landed on their feet and Eda hopped next to them, Ford pulled out his wallet again and took out a folded-up, hand-drawn picture of Stan and Ford on a boat, a gift from Mabel while they were apart that she had mailed to them. “Aw, that’s so cute.” The witch cooed. “Who knew all Pines men were putty in girls’ hands.” She laughed at her own joke and shook her head. “Ah, keep moving, boys.” Stan hurried to catch up and he walked next to Eda with narrow eyes, ignoring the way her odd golden fang sparkled, how her eyes gleamed with spunk, how she held herself up high with pride. “So, you’re gonna answer some questions for me…” “Maybe I will, maybe I won’t.” “If you’re a witch, what were you doing in Las Vegas?” “Hey, a witch’s gotta make some gold, too.” Eda shrugged as she smiled. “I haven’t exactly kept a clean record here so making a living takes a bit of extra effort, but it’s much for fun and unpredictable, the way life's supposed to be.” Stan raised an eyebrow at two things: the fact his ex was a criminal in this world too, and her philosophy. “I can respect that, seeing how I was there for the same reasons.” “I know.” Eda rolled her eyes teasingly. “You wouldn’t shut up about how you were gonna make it big and show the world what this big lug could do.” And she elbowed Stan, which he chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “Heh. Yeah, what can I say, I’m a real loud-mouth. Say what’s on my mind.” “Hey, nothing wrong with being brutally honest to make up for lying, am I right?” Eda said with a shrug. “So, was your hair fake back then, or…” “No, no, it was real. I was really proud of my hair back in the day, flaming red and wild.” “Looks pretty good now. Love it, in fact. Big and bold, hard to miss.” “Hey, you aged pretty well yourself, handsome.” Ford smiled as he watched the exes tease and pick on each other. If a compliment was given, it dripped with sarcasm and there was no guarantee that it was sincere, but they must have seen a gleam in their eyes or felt a “vibe” that Ford didn’t experience, because the conversation progressed well as they walked through the forest. Ford was happy to see Stan get along fairly well with this woman and wondered if this would go exceptionally better than the whole McCorkle incident. They emerged from the woods and found a large house standing by some cliffs leading to an ocean. It was about as far from the seas as Pines Pawns was all those years ago. The house was big, maybe bigger than the Mystery Shack (probably not if counting the basement-floors) with a big stain-glass window that reminded Stan of a cat’s eye and Ford of Bill’s eye, but then they both individually remembered Eda’s title and realized it was probably representing an owl’s eye. A weather-vane with an owl sat on top of the house, a broken-down tower stood behind, and an owl’s head was on the door. The humans were startled, but they quickly recovered, again having experienced much weirder than a live owl-head on a door. “Girl knows how to keep a theme going.” Stan commented as they approached. “Oh, boy!” The owl on the door hooted. “More company! Maybe they wanna hear some of my stories!” “Not a chance, Hooty.” Eda quipped. “Is King still home? We need his help, and we might want Luz’s too while we’re at it.” “They’re both telling stories to that new human. The one with the pretty owl sweater.” “Wait, what?!” The three old people asked and Hooty swung open the door. Luz was holding King on her lap on the couch, sitting with Mabel as all three were laughing. Even King was rolling around and holding his little fluffy body with glee. Mabel’s back was to the door and she resumed her storytelling as she wiped a tear under her eye. “So then I look down at Dipper and see that he’s still got his socks on!” Luz cackled a laugh and held her head one-handed, her other arm still holding King, but it was to no avail as the demon fell off from all the laughing. Eda, Ford, and Stan smiled as the girls were having fun. They had no idea how they found each other, but it was better for them to be here, safe and happy, than to have the newbie be someone’s meal. Luz fanned her reddening face and finally noticed the company. “Hi, Eda. Sorry, but she was lost and needs our help.” Mabel turned, on her knees on the couch, but grinned with a gasp. “GUYS!” And she hopped over the arm of the couch for her grunkles. “Mabel!” They opened their arms and got on one knee for their girl. Mabel ran into their hold and they hugged her tightly, relieved to be with her again and to find her more than okay. “What did I tell you about scaring me like that, pumpkin?!” Stan asked as he held her with all of his might. “You didn’t tell me, Grunkle Stan.” “Oh, right.” “We’re just so happy to find you alright, my dear.” Ford loosened his grip just enough to look up at Luz, who was smiling admirably at the reunion. “And I see you’ve made some friends.” Mabel let go and nodded. “Yeah! That’s Luz! Luz, these are my grunkles! Stan and Ford!” “Nice to meet you guys.” Luz said and waved politely. “Mabel said you’d come, but how did you two survive out there?” “They nearly didn’t.” Eda lied easily. “Were in the mouths of a giant giraffe when I saved their butts.” “Yeah right!” Stan barked a laugh. “Anyways, we’ve been through worse, kid.” Luz gasped excitedly. “Worse than giant bugs and centaurs with eyes on their chest and man-eating slugs and fire-breathing eye-less fangs and jealous witches?!” “Worse. I’ve punched a pterodactyl in the face and a few zombies, fallen down a Bottomless Pit, lost my hands to a witch, fought off eagles and explosions, survived giant man-eating spiders…” “Stanley, that is all impressive, but have you fought a talking chair, battled in four wars, conned an abominable snowman, outran a volcano, examined floating eyebats, been turned to gold…” “I find that hard to believe.” Eda snorted. “I believe them.” Luz said with a shrug. “You always said weird stuff leaks from this world into theirs.” “So, if you don’t mind me asking,” Ford said, stepping forward. “What exactly is this place? I’ve heard rumors of a place called the Boiling Isles, but I just thought it was a little hiding place like the Crawlspace, not an entirely new dimension.” “Nope!” Eda corrected happily. “This whole world is the Boiling Isles, a world full of despair, monsters, gross-stuff, demons, and magic.” “This place sounds so cool!” Mabel cheered. She looked at Luz and said, “No wonder you wanted to stay here. Wait! Do you have your own room?!” “Yeah! C’mon, I’ll show you!” And the girls ran off with Luz scratching King’s tummy and leaving him to nap on the floor, tired from laughing. Eda plopped down on the couch and gestured for the men to do the same. “I’d offer refreshments but all we have is apple blood and some disgusting beverage Luz likes called orange juice.” Stan looked up at the wanted poster of Eda and the reward promised for her capture. He smiled, impressed and interested. “We’re okay, thank you, Eda.” Ford said. “If you don’t mind me asking, our niece said something about Luz choosing to stay here?” “Yeah, that’s right.” Eda reached under her couch-cushion and rummaged as she spoke. “Kid came through my door when Owlbert brought over some little treasures to sell. Sweet girl. Kinda naive and gullible, but clever in her own right and she’s a fast learner. Stubborn with the forces of positivity.” Stan snorted. “Heh. We know someone like that.” “She said she didn’t fit in at home.” Eda finally found what she was looking for and pulled out a wrinkled, crumpled up pamphlet at read, Reality Check Summer Camp: Think Inside the Box. “Don’t really understand some of this human stuff, but I figured it must be pretty bad if it made a kid not wanna go home, so I read over it and this place sounds awful! Totally squandered any creativity or individualism! Her own mother was sending her here!” Eda let Ford look it over and she shrugged off the rant. “Anyway, she said she wanted to stay and she was willing to work for it, so I took her in as my apprentice for the summer and now she’s learning how to be a witch.” “Hm, sounds a lot better than kidnapping.” Stan approved with his arms crossed over his chest. “This place is completely horrible.” Ford commented about the summer camp. “They teach kids how to appropriate public radio!” “AM or FM?” “Both.” “Ouch.” “So, what exactly are you doing with such a cute girl, Eight-Ball?” Eda asked, getting Stan’s attention. “And what is a grunkle?” She snorted with a smile. “She’s our grandniece.” Stan said proudly, puffing out his chest. “We’re her great-uncles. Her grunkles.” “Aw, who knew you were such a softie?” “I am not!” “You watched over five hours of video-tutorials on how to braid hair.” Ford said behind the pamphlet. “She asked me to braid her hair and it bothered me that I couldn’t do it!” Eda cackled and touched Stan’s shoulder. His eyes followed and he smiled at her cute laugh. “Aw, you’re worse than King.” King peeked an eye at her and sneered, “One more passive aggressive comment and I’ll…” “That’s not a passive aggressive comment.” Eda said as she picked up the little goofball. “I can do better than that.” “Huh, and here I was thinking that was just one of Luz’s toys.” Stan teased. “Hey!” King stood on the couch by Eda’s side and pointed a bony paw at the old man. “Since you’re a human, I’ll let you walk away with a warning, but have it be known that I’m the King of Demons and shall one day drink the fear of those who mock me!” Ford folded the pamphlet and observed King cautiously. He didn’t like… his voice. His voice sent shivers down the old scientist’s spine. Stan snorted. “Sorry, pipsqueak, but I’ve faced worse demons than you.” “Oh, yeah, like what?” King asked. The girls came back, smiling and holding hands, and Luz asked, “Eda, can we please please PLEASE have a sleepover?! I want to show Mabel the new light spell I learned and show her how to properly scratch a demon’s tummy.” Ford chuckled and stood. “I’m sorry, ladies, but we really should be heading back. I’m sure Dipper is worried sick.” Mabel gasped with horror. “Oh, NO! Dipper!” “Oh, hey, don’t worry.” Luz eased. “You two are totally welcome here anytime you want.” “Aw, thanks, Luz.” Mabel hugged her and said, “I promise I’ll bring Dip-Dip next time. He’d love it here! And he could tell you all about the Manotaurs and the weird copy-machine.” Eda and Stan stood up, too, and the Owl Lady had her arms crossed over her chest. “Well, looks like we’ll be seeing each other again pretty soon. You okay with them hanging out?” Stan shrugged and pocketed his hands in his jeans. “Yeah, sure. Good friends are kinda rare these days. Gotta hold onto ‘em and never let ‘em go.” “Agreed.” Eda said and saw them exchanging those odd codes on their glowing rectangles. “Well, have your girl tell my girl when to open the door and I’ll see what I can do.” And she held out a hand to Stan. He hesitated (not just because of whose hand it was, but because shaking hands always seemed to lead to something bad, but maybe this time will be different), but he took it and shook it gently. “Yeah, and if your girl never needs a break in the human world, have her tell my girl.” Eda smiled at Stan and shook Ford’s hand, as well. She pulled the key out of her hair and unlocked the door, making it appear and swing open. Mabel skipped to her great-uncles and waved goodbye to Luz, who waved back, and she went with Ford through the door for home. Stan stole one last look at Eda, who winked at him, and he disappeared with a pink face.

~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note: OKAY, first things first, when it comes to fic, I personally don't really like crossovers. Crossovers can be a fun NON-CANON crossover for animation or actors. I get more enjoyment over fun fanart than I so of fics, because I like mine more plot-driven and it's hard to get a good story going just because you wants certain characters to mingle. HOWEVER, I find Gravity Falls and The Owl House just fit so well together! Why? #1: Alex Hirsch and Dana Terrace (the creators) are dating and Dana Terrace is responsible for the awesome Ducktakes reboot (season 1, anyway) AND the famous Not What He Seems scene. So having such a strong connection creativity wise of the shows is very apparent, more so than the other shows. #2: Evidence that supports these connections. Both shows have referenced each other and a theory goes that Eda and Stan were once married for less than a day. (plz check this video for more) And #3: ... I ship it pretty damn hard, okay? So I hope you guys will enjoy this fun little crossover as much as me! And thank you so much for reading!

[nomand-berserka]

A little openly honest abridged intro in to me and dealing with my head and my black dog.

I am the newly appointed Team Leader for West Yorkshire with the guys at Veterans Hike. @veteranshike

Ive found a love for hiking over the past few months, since this crazy lockdown here in the UK.

I have struggled a lot over the years since leaving the Army, still dont feel like I fit into the bracket called Civvie. I know that may sound a little cliche. But it is exactly what it is.

I joined the forces straight from school. There was nothing for me where I lived, and with a long proud military history in my family, I felt it's what I'd always wanted and knew in my early to mid teens, that I'd join up.

I felt I did pretty well, considering pretty much everyone I knew, thought that I wouldnt even make it past selection. Well I pissed on their parade let me tell ya.

I'm not going to go into the ins and out of my career. But the tours I did, were SFOR (peacekeeping) Bosnia 98 and Op Agricola Kosovo 99.

Now with that, I've seen some pretty fkd up stuff at the ages of 18 and 19.. But you crack on and get the job the done. Get back home and continue as normal.

Now upon leaving the Army, I felt very lost. Ended up going from job to job, due to not being able to fit in with or liking the people I worked with. Often getting pushed out because of having a different mindset... This turned into a serious dislike for people in general. There was no bond, no brotherhood, everyone out for themselves and didnt care who they fkd over to get what they wanted.

This became the time I started with the heavy drinking and the stupid violence, infact the drink and the violence became the reason I lost my family and almost ended up 6 feet under.

The violence continued, as I just hated everyone... for lots of different reasons. This then led to me serving time on a couple of occasions. But it still continued after being locked up... I didnt see it as a problem, as I just thought "I wont take peoples shit", and I'll show anyone who tries to give me shit. That it will lead to getting hurt. Jump forward to being left for dead with 2 stab wounds... Yes it got that bad. Maybe I was asking for my way out?

Jump forward a year or so of living a dark time.

Its then i got into martial arts (Muay Thai under the tutilage of master Ronnie Green 5 time world champion), a friend of mine didnt want to see me locked up again. Or with more perforations than a "Tetley Tea bag". This became my drive again, I'd found something I could focus on and put myself, my whole self into again.

First session in, I was hooked. Had my first full contact fight at just over 6 months and had plenty thereafter, still have the copy of my official invite to the 2013 world championships. This was my crowing glory moment... This is where I'd found the focus to not be that drunked violent ass hat. My fitness went through the roof and I felt good again for the first time in years

Injury got me though, put me right back to not being able to train. Even ended my career, I tried to train again, but way too soon. Causing myself more problems. Taking even longer to get back to 100%

My anger started to creep back, the bad food the drinking... and yes the violence. then jump again forward to going back to prison for a very violent episode in 2015. Where 2 people got badly hurt. I pleaded guilty. I tried to reach out for help before the day in court. But it was too little too late...

However, in prison this time in 2016 I asked for help. Where can i get it, and who can help me the most.. There was a small eager group called Care after Combat, they concentrate on helping Veterans, who are sent to prison. During and after release. (I'll go into them at a later date).

I've kept my nose clean since then, was officially Dignosed with PTSD in 2017, so done a few local therapy courses Anger Management, CBT but still no actual PTSD help as of yet. Combat Stress, I think may have forgotten about me hahaha.

But the thought of prison!!!! id rather not go back ever again. Plus I'm getting on now, and not a 25 year old dick head. Eith a chip on his shoulder about civvies anymore.

Jump forward again, to present Covid 19 times.

I'm a joiner now put myself through College 12 years ago. The outdoors have always agreed with me. But after a work accident last year in August I had 14 weeks sat at home gaining weight. Bordem drinking and eating shit and the head started to go again. But thankfully got back to work early December.

In March 2020 and we get Furloughed. For however long it may take.

So I gave myself THE talking to. Stay off the booze (well not completely hehe). Keep yourself busy. Find a focus in something, anything. Just dont he that dickhead again.

So here I am, I spend at least 3 days a week walking the Pennines and the moors between my beloved Yorkshire and the dark soggy lands of Lancahire. Its literally 20 minutes from my door to where I park the motor. My head still goes south, but more into the low mood and hating myself for allowing what I'd done in the past. I've had depression for years, but it was always over shadowed by my stupidity. So when it does that, i hit my local park and do 10 laps (8 miles) of that. Or just get my pack ready and hit the trails. Often doing around 15-20 miles.

Now I've started with a small Daystack and have started adding weight, carring 15kg. plus 3 litre camelback, food stuff and inclement weather gear. Its north of England the weather does what it wants. "If tha dunt lyk weather, jus bloody wait 20 minutes It'l change". hahaha.

Doing this has given me more drive in my fitness and massively boosted my mental state. Plus the escape from the rat race bollox that we all have to live through. More and more people have started to notice my weight loss. Down from 20 stone to just over 17 stone. Now I'm as round as I am tall, but for a fat lad I've been told I'm pretty fit... Guess all those years in the Army, years of Muay Thai and Kempo Jiu Jitsu. It must have left some form of conditioning and muscle memory. So this again boosts me. I'm now picking up the weights at home and even got a bike... so this new found fitness is a fantastic feeling again... it's not just about keeping busy anymore, it's about showing people. Who I'd alienated during all these years, that I'm not the same guy, and they are wanting to come on hikes with me now

(Its also pushed me to train for the 3 peaks... but that's another story for another time)

It's also the biggest Therapy I can give myself, sometimes I go it alone and sometimes I have company. The outdoors is literally where I feel at my easiest and most peaceful... The benefits are there for everyone who knows me, to see. Its physically demanding, but it's so peaceful. If I bump into other people, there is always a nod a smile and a "morning/afternoon" exchanged. Not all people are nob heads haha!

I cant stress enough how good it feels to keep occupied physically and mentally, buy doing something I never thought I'd do...

It's become my passion... I'm looking into longer routes all the time, and now looking at some proper outdoors gear. Better rucksack even a tent. If being up the hills for a few hours or just a day, makes me feel things are better. Then surely a couple of days and nights will be even better...Right?

I want to thank anyone who takes the time to reads this, however you see it. Be it on insta, Tumbler or FB. So cheers guys and gals.

We all have hardships, we all need that help at some point. Go out and find what makes it all better, please guys. We all deserve to smile for what ever reason.

Who knows, we may even cross trails someday. You'll always get a smile and a nod from me.

Steve

The Nomad Beserka

[purplesurveys]

296

- A - What has been your greatest Accomplishment? I guess, more than anything, it’s being able to study in the top university in the country. Does your house have an Attic? No. I don’t know of any Filipino house that has an attic; it’s just not in our culture. Probably the super rich, more Western-centric families do, but definitely not in any of the houses I’ve ever been to. Basements also aren’t a thing here. - B - What is/was your Best subject in school? History and biology. Anything objective and requires memorization of terms, I never had a problem with. What's your favorite dog Breed? I used to have none but Gab made me a golden retriever convert. Beagles and askals (street dogs in the Philippines) are wonderful, too. - C - Do you regularly drink Coffee? No, just as a last resort when I have to stay up for work. How many Children do you want? 1 or 2.

- D - When are you due for your next dental checkup? Right around this time of the year, but I get so incredibly lazy about the dentist so I don’t mind skipping lol. What kind of car do you Drive? It’s a Mitsubishi Mirage, the smaller kind. I’ve always told myself I can’t drive anything bigger than that. - E - Are you an Extrovert? Hell no. I mean I’ve been better–I’ve gone from being an introvert to an ambivert since starting college, but socializing still brings me anxiety. That hasn’t gone away. It also completely exhausts me at the end of the day; so while I’ve been so much better at handling social situations and can initiate conversations, it doesn’t mean the jitters have also left. I still dread them every single time. What's your favorite form of Exercise? I don’t exercise at all. - F - How Far away do you live from your best friend? Her family home is about 16 kilometers away from my house. The dorm that she stays in near her school is...apparently also 16 kilometers away. I’m literally middle ground hahaha. Have you ever had a Full-time job? No. - G - Where did you last buy Groceries from? Man I’ve stopped tagging along my parents whenever they get groceries so I have no idea where they buy from these days. I don’t buy my own yet. Do you believe there is a God? No. Catholicism ruined religion for me when I was ten. - H - What's something that made you Happy today? Called my girlfriend literally thirty seconds ago. When was the last time you stayed in a Hotel? We stayed in Batanes from Wednesday to Saturday so we were staying over at a hotel by then. - I - Do you like Indian food? It’s my favorite cuisine. Have you ever slipped and fell on Ice? When I used to go ice skating, many times. - J - What has been your favorite Job you've had so far? I’ve never had one. What Jewelry did you wear yesterday? The necklace Gab gave me is always on me. Other than that I don’t wear much jewelry. - K - How many people can sit at your Kitchen table? We don’t have that but we do have a dining table. It’s meant for six people but since it’s a big table it can probably fit like ten. What's a topic you're Knowledgable in? Pro wrestling. - L - Where do you Live? I live in a city called Antipolo in the Philippines. How many people have you Loved romantically? Just one. - M - Are you good with managing and saving Money? HAH, NO. Unless I really had to then yeah I sometimes surprise myself with how good I am with saving. It’s very unpredictable on my end. What was the last Museum you went to? I went to the Crisologo Museum and Syquia Mansion in Vigan around 7-8 months ago. Old houses of prominent family with all their 70′s-style rooms still intact will always be my favorite. - N - Do you have loud Neighbors? They’re not loud per se. Their kids are. What's one of your most Noticeable qualities? My glasses are crooked. - O - What's something you have a very strong Opinion on? LGBT rights, racial equality, smoking, and the concept of family. What's your favorite Outdoor activity? I’m a more indoors person, but I do enjoy hiking and going to the beach. - P - Did you pull a Prank last April Fools Day? Nah. What was the cause of the last physical Pain you felt? Scoliosis. - Q - Have you ever been to Quebec? Nope. What's your favorite Quote? I don’t have one. - R - What's the longest Relationship you've been in? This one I’m currently in: 2 years. If Gabie hadn’t broken up with me and ruined the relationship for a while we’d have been together for 3 1/2 years now, HAAA. Have you ever worked in Retail? No. - S - Do you feel Safe walking around your neighborhood at night? Yes, but at most just inside my subdivision since there are guards all over. My city doesn’t have a high crime rate but it’s still best to be cautious as soon as you step outside a private subdivision since there are so many weirdos that lurk about. When was the last time you woke up before Sunrise? Today. I usually wake up before sunrise. - T - Do you think you would enjoy being a Teacher? Probably not. The paranoia from not knowing what students think of me would be enough to drain me mentally. What was the last thing you bought Tickets for? Plane tickets back to Subic, where our airport was. - U - What is something about you that's Unusual? I don’t know, you gotta ask my friends. Do you live in an Urban area? Yep. - V - What's your favorite Vegetable? Broccoli and asparagus. Do you know anyone who gets Violent when they're angry? My girlfriend does. - W - What do you keep in your Wallet? Money, some photos of Gab, and cards that I use. What's your favorite kind of Weather? Rainy where it’s also cold and dark and dreary. Rainy but humid is pointless. - X - What parts of your body have you had X-rayed? My chest, but in more recent times my back. Which X-Men character is your favorite? I don’t have a favorite. - Y - What Year were you born? 1998. What did you do Yesterday? My family went to church, then we went to the mall to have lunch. We finally bought GTA V for the PS4 and my dad and I each got Herschel backpacks. My sister got the cheese tart she was craving for and we also got a new electric fan since one of the fans in the house stopped working. - Z - What was the last Zoo you went to? I don’t think I’ve ever been to a zoo. I don’t like the idea of supporting those, either. Is there a Zipper on any of the clothes you're wearing? No.

[chronicallyoverthis]

I just love arguing with my family doctor. It’s like arguing with a 2 year old who thinks they’re right. You can’t win but you can’t back down.

Dumb stuff he’s said so far

1. “Orthostatic hypotension has nothing to do with blood pressure and it certainly wouldn’t apply to you”

Been diagnosed by one doctor and confirmed again by another doctor. He has records of both of these visits. Showed him 6 different definitions and symptom lists and told him to check my blood pressure with the test the other doctor did and he just scoffed and said “whatever.” And moved on.

2. “A resting heart rate of 35 is perfectly normal and healthy and your heart rate is supposed to go from that straight up to 120 when you stand up.”

Numerous doctors have said the opposite and when one made me lay down for 5 minutes and checked my heart rate and it was 34 he was like “uhhh” and then I stood up and ended up on my knees on the floor because I just about passed out he literally wouldn’t let me leave for a solid half an hour to keep an eye on me and then wanted me to go to the ER and when I refused he sent me for an ecg and told me to ask my family doctor for a few other tests involving my heart. A resting heart rate of 35 is normal. For an athlete. Not for someone who’s life goal is to be a couch potatoe.

3. “You have one lung. You’ll feel out of breath for the rest of your life. It’s normal.”

I had my lung removed a year and a half ago. 3 months after my surgery I was going for jogs and hikes. 4 months ago I was getting up to being able to run for longer than 30 seconds on a treadmill. My surgeon and his colleagues are obsessed with me because my body has adapted “shockingly well” to one lung and It actually functions better now that it’s not desperately trying to use a lung that’s airway is mostly blocked and my body is getting more oxygen now and I have a larger capacity than before. But now I suddenly can’t even walk across my bedroom without being out of breath and it’s been ruled out about 6 times by my surgeon that there is absolutely nothing wrong with my lung. (Thank god). I even have a routine CT in two weeks that’s also gonna show it’s not my lung.

4. “It’s completely normal to sprain your wrists every month with your occupation.”

Like......no it’s not. I worked a very physical job as a zip line and Ariel adventure course tour guide for 3 years. 3 years of swinging through trees and using my upper body and wrists a lot, 8-10 hours a day, 6 day a week. The only injury i ever got was spraining my shoulder and that was entirely due to my own stupidity when I decide to race another coworker through aome obstacles in the rain and slipped and wrenched my shoulder. But somehow a stocker at a grocery store where I work maybe 20 hours a week and less than 6hrs a day is “high impact enough to cause repeated injuries”. Like....if so then why doesn’t anyone else in the same position have this issue? 🤔.

And god knows what else. I go see him on Wednesday again and I’m supposed to ask for my old labs and ecg results so I can follow up with the walk in doctor and he’s gonna be pissed :/. But like, I’ve given him 8 months to help me figure this shit out. And now it’s getting to the point it’s affecting my ability to even leave my house for more than a few hours and I can barely work. So I went to another doctor once and bam, instant answers for one issue and actual effort to look into the other ones. So my faith in my family doctor has dwindled pretty low.

[jiemba]

Sanvers Week Day 2 - Nerd Girlfriends

In all her years of being wined and dined by well-intentioned young men she tried so hard to love, Alex hoped she’d learned a thing or two about how to treat a lady. But when Maggie first came over to her apartment with pizza and beer, to make all her hopes come true and kiss her for what felt like the first time, Alex had blurted out that she wanted to take her on a date before she even realised that she’d never planned one in her life. Where the hell did lesbians go for dates anyway? She didn’t think she’d ever seen any at the movies, at a restaurant… Did they just go to gay places? Is that why she’d never noticed? The doubt must have shown on her face, because Maggie had smiled a little and tucked some of Alex’s hair behind her ear. “Danvers, you really don’t have to. I feel like I should take you out first. You know, to show you how the other half live,” she joked. “Pfft, thank you, but I’ve got this,” Alex chuckled, eyes flitting anywhere but into the too-warm intensity of Maggie’s. “I can plan a date. I’m the best at planning dates. I’m…I’m known for it.”

But the next day, she’d shown up on her sister’s doorstep in a flurry of God, Kara, what have I done? Maggie was right, what do I know about taking out girls? Should I bring flowers? Do lesbians even get girls flowers? And who pays? What do I wear? They’d settled it all over potstickers, Kara actually letting Alex have some for a change as she tried to assure her that the dating etiquette was probably the same, that Maggie wouldn’t expect her to toss her money around and kiss the ground she walked on. Just something simple. Genuine. Something that taught her a bit about Alex. You deserve some fun in your life, Kara had said. Just treat her how you want to be treated and you’ll be fine. She did bring Maggie flowers, in the end – not without an internal panic that it was just a straight guy thing, that it was too much for a first date. But Maggie had beamed when she saw her, and she’d worn a skirt tonight, and Alex was the reason she’d worn a skirt tonight, the realisation entirely unbelievable. “You gonna tell me where we’re going?” Maggie tried as they headed outside to Alex’s bike. “Yeah, right. It’s all in the suspense, Sawyer.” “If you say so, Danvers,” she chuckled, tugging on her leather jacket in a way that Alex was sure was the sexiest way to put on clothes. “I suppose it’s worth the risk, to share a ride with such a beautiful girl.” As if that wasn’t enough, Alex felt Maggie hike up her skirt a little to sit behind her, and had to fight to keep her balance. It was entirely distracting, in the most deliciously dangerous way, to have Maggie literally wrapped around her, so close her perfume mixed with the pine of trees as they climbed the hills on the edge of the city, the bike’s headlamp their only light. “You’re not gonna dump my body out here, are you, Danvers?” Maggie shouted over the engine, arms tight around her waist. Alex just smirked, deciding it was more fun to pretend she never heard. At the top of the hill, an enormous old building sat on the edge cliff, looking over the sparkling city. Realising where they were, Maggie chuckled as she climbed off the bike and shook out her hair from her helmet. “Excellent choice,” she teased with a smirk. “Nerd.”

Years ago, in the first half of college, Alex used to work here at the National City Museum of Science. On the weekdays, she ran workshops for school groups where she’d show kids how to make baking soda volcanoes, how to pet a sloth, calculating how much they would weigh if they lived on other planets. But her favourite shifts were Thursday evenings, when she’d take tour groups up to the telescopes and show them her favourite planets. And on the first Thursday of the month, the centre ran late adults-only nights where, away from the usual running and screaming children, people could wander the museum with a glass of wine, dance to live music in the main hall, snuggle in the planetarium. The only thing Alex didn’t like about working those events was seeing so many couples out, not understanding the twinge in her chest seeing pretty girls holding their boyfriends’ hands, wishing she could ever be as happy. But whenever a cute NCU student would flirt with her, feigning interest in whatever animal she was wrangling that night, she found herself blushing, hands shaking too much to hold the poor thing with any stability, talking endlessly about their physiology to distract herself from the expectation in his smile. How different things were, now, to have Maggie distract her from all else. How even in the rainforest dome, surrounded by butterflies, hands outstretched, she was by far the most beautiful thing.   “Oh my god, Alex, I got one!” she giggled, showing Alex the feather-light creature that had settled in her palm. “Hey there, gorgeous…” “He’s beautiful,” Alex agreed, their shoulders brushing as they watched it tilt its wings, happy in its new home. “It’s a boy?” “Yeah, you can tell from the colouring – gotta look sexy for the ladies. He’s also larger than the females of his species.” “Nerd,” Maggie teased. “He is pretty sexy. Hope he procreates.” Alex laughed as the butterfly fluttered away to a nearby tree. “Fly free, little dude. Go get laid.” Immediately she blushed at her words, realising what she’d said. Thankfully, Maggie just laughed along, giving her a nudge. “Come on, smartypants, let’s go down to the aquarium.” On the way, they were impossibly close, shoulders bumping, Alex hiding her hand in her pocket so it didn’t brush Maggie’s. But the pull was undeniable, like the tug of an approaching wave, and emboldened by Maggie’s jokes, Maggie’s smiles, she decided to be brave, letting her knuckles just barely graze Maggie’s from time to time. “God, I haven’t been here in years,” Maggie told her, glass of wine in her other hand as they passed walls of fish, dolphins, sharks. “We had nothing like this back home.” “What did you have in Nebraska?” “Horses. About the only thing I miss,” Maggie replied, and when she smiled, it was almost wistful. “It was sweet of you to bring me here. Thank you.” “Anytime. It’s been ages for me too. I loved working in this section. We used to have to get in in the pool with the manatees to help the vets do their health checks, but they always just wanted to play. They’re like big sea puppies.” Maggie grinned. “I can totally imagine baby nerd Alex losing her mind, thinking she had the best job in the world.” They settled on a bench in the snow exhibit, a chilled enclosure with penguins on the other side of a small barricade. “You cold?” Alex asked, noticing Maggie shiver a little. “I’m OK.” “No you’re not,” Alex chuckled, draping her own jacket around Maggie’s shoulders. “Alex, you don’t hav-” “Yes I do. Had to learn something from the guys I dated, after all,” she joked. The jacket was too big on Maggie, and Alex restrained herself from teasing her tiny date. Maggie had to admit, it was pretty smooth, and she had to turn her face to the penguins to hide her blush. “Looks like we’re not the only ones on a date,” she said, noticing that they were all in pairs, building nests. “You know when a penguin likes someone, he gives her a pebble? If the girl accepts it then they use it to build a nest together.” Maggie chuckled. “So heteronormative. Must be sad to be a gay penguin, all alone and pebble-less.” “There used to be a gay couple in a New York zoo. The staff gave them abandoned eggs to raise.” “That’s so cute.” Maggie nudged her a little, almost conspiratorially. “You think any of these ones are gay?” “So gay,” Alex laughed. “If not, we could always recruit them to the dark side.” On the other side of the barrier, one penguin followed another down a slide and into the water. “I remember the first time we visited National City from Midvale,” Alex said, “we brought Kara here. I don’t know if I told you, but she’s adopted, and we’d just got her. She was always so fascinated as a kid by how the world worked, all the animals. In Midvale, turtles were her favourite, but here... She’d never seen a penguin or a snake or a platypus. Everything was new. It was like her brain exploded. I was… I was jealous. But it was nice too, being able to show her, you know?” “You guys sound really close.” “We are.” Noticing Alex starting to tremble, Maggie handed her back her jacket. “We should go somewhere warmer before you freeze. I’d like to return the favour after tonight and I’d prefer my date to be alive.” Alex almost stammered. “You would?” Grinning cheekily, Maggie used her foot to nudge a pebble into Alex’s shoe. “That answer your question?” Alex raised her eyebrows. “That was such a poor effort. You’d have zero game in the penguin world.” “What! Come on.” “You have to at least find a nice one! Do you know how long penguins search for the right -” “Eugh fine, so high maintenance,” Maggie groaned, leaning over to inspect the ground before finding a rounder, smoother pebble and handing it to Alex with exaggerated care. “M’lady.” “Oh why thank you, nerd,” she teased, but truly Alex was touched by the gesture. They caught eyes for a moment, and Alex knew enough about dating to understand that this was an opportunity. Anticipation hung in the air between them, a restrained sparkle Alex couldn’t quite decipher in Maggie’s eyes. But nerves took her, and Alex pocketed the stone in her jacket. Sensing her hesitation, Maggie stood up and offered Alex her hand. The sensation was entirely overwhelming. As they continued through the water animals section, past otters and seals, Alex’s brain overloaded at the soft warmth of Maggie’s hand in hers, the tenderness of her touch, the fact that she was holding a woman’s hand at all, and she couldn’t bring herself to lift her eyes from the floor in case people were staring, and god this felt like nothing she’d ever felt before but what if it was a mistake, what if it was wrong, what if it wasn’t safe – “Alex? You still with me?” “What?” Alex asked, blinking away tears as fast as she could. Maggie stopped them near the touch pool, her hand out of Alex’s now, gently cradling her elbow. “I lost you for a sec there. You OK?” “Yeah, I…” Alex started to say, but her face burned, and her eyes stung. “I’m just being stupid, I -” “No, Alex - I’m sorry. If that was too much, we don’t have to.” Alex let a shaky breath out of her chest, watching the jellyfish bob past her in the next window. “I want to,” she said slowly. “I just… I’ve never properly held a girl’s hand before. I didn’t expect it to feel so…” Terrifying. Strange. Beautiful. “Different?” “Yeah.” “Alex, that’s OK. You’ve been literally trained not to do this you’re whole life. It’s gonna take a little getting used to.” Smiling softly, shyly, Alex let her eyes flit to Maggie’s just for a second, before slipping her hand back into hers, this time interlocking their fingers. Squeezing tight. “I could get used to this.” “Me too,” Maggie replied, squeezing a little in return. Once Alex took those first few steps holding Maggie’s hand, and hardly anyone was noticing, she started to feel less like the roof was about to cave in on her head and more like the room didn’t even matter at all. Soon enough they were both laughing again, Alex holding Maggie close as they approached a rockpool full of crabs (“They’re like giant spiders of the sea, Danvers, I can’t deal”), Maggie later soothing her while she held a snake for the first time in years, figuring tonight was a night for facing fears. Eventually, they settled with their wine glasses on a bean bag in the planetarium, while a lone guitarist was playing acoustic covers in the corner. Alex could hardly concentrate on the projections above her, the supernovae on the ceiling, because Maggie was tracing golden ratio swirls over the inside of her wrist, and all she could do was let her eyes flutter shut and sigh out a breath. She felt the trace of her everywhere, somehow both gentle and powerful, and when she opened her eyes, Maggie was smiling gently, eyes bright. “You’re really beautiful, you know that?” Alex shifted a little to face her, letting Maggie trace a single finger over her hairline. “So are you.” When they finally kissed, Alex felt every place their bodies touched, and every place they didn’t. Maggie seemed to warm her from the inside out, to fill all of her senses, and they naturally edged closer together, forgetting the sky above them, and before long, Alex was breathless, needing to pull away. “You OK?” Alex nodded, releasing something between a sigh and a laugh, still holding the woman’s face in her hands. “Yeah just… It’s never been like this. I feel so much… I didn’t know… God, this is what it was supposed to feel like the whole time?” Maggie nodded, smiling against her lips, and when she kissed Alex again, it felt like a welcome home. They kissed long, and slow, and tender, winding fingers through hair, gently tugging at collars. Like a revelation, Alex finally understood why girls wore skirts. Maggie’s thigh slid against hers, perhaps accidentally, but the warmth of her skin, the sheer expanse of it, was dizzying, destabilising. Alex knew then that if she kissed her neck, Maggie would arch for her. If she slid her hand up her thigh, toyed with the edge of that skirt, she would tremble. Wherever Alex went, Maggie would follow. It was a chain reaction as true as any physics. God, it would be easy, so easy, to keep going. But Maggie smiled against her mouth, peppered kisses along her jaw. “We shouldn’t get carried away,” she murmured. Alex nodded, but in truth she barely heard her, drunk on a heady sort of pleasure she’d never felt, and could only compare to hunger. After that, it was like they’d woken something they couldn’t put back to sleep. Alex took Maggie by the hand through every hallway, pulling her close to share coy kisses against the wall of the shark tunnel, against the railing in the rooftop garden. At the close of the night, they joined the other couples slow-dancing under the whale skeleton in the main hall, and kissed like it was a mistletoe of bones, and Alex felt no shame, no fear. Sharing liquid nitrogen ice cream on the balcony over the city, they talked about home, about each other, seeking out all the things they had to learn before walking back to the bike, high on sugar and kisses. “OK, I’ve got another one. You’re so hot you denature my proteins.” Maggie cringed through her laugh. “That was worse.” “Hey babygirl,” Alex teased. “Are you a charged atom? Because I've got my ion you.” “Enough, seriously.” “If you were a concen-” “You have to stop now.” Alex grinned, tugged her to a halt. “Make me,” she told her, her voice low with the challenge. Never one to back down, Maggie pulled her close, kissed her soft and sweet, and the head rush came on so strong that Alex had to pull away. “Wow.” “Yeah.” Alex smirked. “We really do have good chemistry.” “Oh my God, Danvers.” Alex’s laughter hit her in one bright rush. Because for all those years, she thought she’d never have this. All those years kissing boys, then men, feeling nothing but chemiluminescent reactions – the kind that produced light but not heat. Maggie felt like the opposite. All heat, but no light, no light, no light. But that was OK. Because she’d hold Alex’s hand through the dark.  

[clementinebarish]

i decided i just wanted to answer the rest of the questions from that list so i’m just gonna do it

i’ll put it under a read more so you guys can just scroll through it since it’s all garbage and nonsense anyway

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify. I listen to it on my phone, my computer, wherever and whenever I can.

Is your room messy or clean? It’s in an in between right now. Like I need to go wash some dishes but overall this is a pretty good state for it to be in at the moment.

What color are your eyes? Green! They kind of change, so sometimes there are little hints of brown. When I cry they tend to look more blue.

Do you like your name? why? I do. I feel like I look like a Jessica? I don’t really know, I guess at this point in my life I’ve just gotten comfortable with it and I don’t really see a reason to dislike it. 

What is your relationship status? In a relationship. A little over three months in. 

Describe your personality in 3 words or less. Emotional, empathetic, hilarious What color hair do you have? Currently red. Who knows what color it’ll end up next though.

What kind of car do you drive? color? Lol I don’t even have a license 

Where do you shop? Target. Amazon. Thrift stores. 

How would you describe your style? Comfortable chic sometimes. Usually just whatever’s clean tho. I clean up nice when I have the energy to put effort in

Favorite social media account? Of mine? Idk, probably here because I can talk about how I’m feeling with nothing held back and it’s recieved well. I posted about having struggled with suicidal thoughts and depression on Facebook/Instagram for World Suicide Prevention Day and distant relatives wanted to have me fucking committed so yeah, definitely not those.  Of someone else’s, I’d probably have to say @  _picolo on instagram. he’s super talented

What size bed do you have? I think it’s a king? I really don’t know

Any siblings? Two brothers. One older and one younger. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? I think I would stick with California. It’s all I’ve ever really known but I love it so much. Maybe Florida though because it’s always been a dream of mine to intern/work for TWLOHA in some capacity.0

Favorite snapchat filter?

This one.

Favorite makeup brand(s)?: I only really buy eyeshadow palettes when I splurge so I’d have to say Too Faced, Morphe, Anastacia Beverly Hills (but only for their Modern Renaissance palette). I really wanna try the Naked Heat Palette from Urban Decay next.

How many times a week do you shower? It fluctuates. I take a shower when I feel dirty

Favorite tv show? Twin Peaks. Bob’s Burgers. The Office. Shoe size? 10-11 in women’s

How tall are you? 5′5 Sandals or sneakers? Sneakers. I own a lot of Vans or shoes that look like Vans that cost a lot less

Do you go to the gym? No, but I want to start soon.

Describe your dream date. Like a combination of all the dates my boyfriend has taken me on. We have a lot of the same interests and have the same low tolerance of other people so that’s really nice How much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? No physical cash. But I have like 6 dollars in my bank account.

What color socks are you wearing? I’m not wearing any How many pillows do you sleep with? Minimum of two. I also have a stuffed animal with me too cause I’m adult and I can do what I want

Do you have a job? what do you do? I’m a customer service supervisor at Whole Foods and I work in our cash office too. Can’t wait for the holidays to be over so ya girl can look for a new fucking job How many friends do you have? Like maybe 2? I don’t know. I don’t really have many anymore

What’s the worst thing you have ever done? That I’ve actually done or that men just assumed I did because I’ve got big titties and a fat ass and they don’t trust me around other men? Cause my last ex accused me of cheating on him with multiple coworkers of mine and then used my thumb to unlock my phone while I was sleeping and went thru all my text messages/facebook messages/twitter and instagram DMs and when he couldn’t find anything he accused me of deleting the proof :) 3 favorite boy names. Thomas, Russell, Victor.

3 favorite girl names. Eleanor, Lucille, Chloe  Favorite actor? John Boyega. Charlie Hunnam. Hayden Christiansen but only in Life as a House. 

Favorite actress? I have a soft spot in my heart for Kate Winslet because she played Clementine in Eternal Sunshine. Amy Jo Johnson but because of Flashpoint.

Who is your celebrity crush? Charlie Hunnam & Ryan Hurst from Sons of Anarchy. Kyle MacLachlan in his Twin Peaks days. 

Favorite movie? Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Dead Poet’s Society. Trolls. Nightmare on Elm Street. 

Do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I used to read a lot. The depression I’ve been battling back and forth the last year has been stealing it away from me but I’m trying to get back to it. Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig was a beautiful book. I also love Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson. Money or brains? Brains. Money might make life easier but I’d rather have someone I can talk to. That knows how to do things on their own.

Do you have a nickname? what is it? One summer when I was about 15, I was camping with my family and my cousins had started calling me Jizzy. It slowly turned into Jessikee and then my cousin Melissa turned that into Jessikee Shitdick. I usually just go by Jessikee tho

How many times have you been to the hospital? Not very many for myself. Maybe like three or four times total in my entire life and it was when I was small and I would wake up sick and I’d have trouble breathing.

Do you take any medications daily? Besides birth control, I don’t take anything daily. What is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) Dry as fuck. 

What is your biggest fear? Letting people down. Losing the people I love. Getting my heart broken. It’s funny because my biggest fears are things that have already happened to me and things I know that I can survive. But I still fear them happening.

How many kids do you want? I’ve never wanted to have kids. Adopting or fostering has always been on my heart but if it’s up to me, I’ll probably never have them. What’s your go to hair style? Usually either pinned back bangs and a messy bun or a headband and a messy bun.

What type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) If 8 people didn’t live here it would be a pretty nice size. Kinda cramped atm tho Who is your role model? My Aunt Debbie. She’s been through things that I can’t even fathom and she’s just super fucking strong

What was the last compliment you received? My boyfriend told me that I brought back his faith in love when he didn’t think it existed. My fucking heart. What was the last text you sent? “What is that candle scent that reminds me of my dad called” to my aunt 

How old were you when you found out Santa wasn’t real? I honestly don’t remember. Probably right around the time my dad died and I realized that all the magic from my life was gone anyway What is your dream car? Literally fucking anything that would get me from point a to point b

Opinion on smoking? I smoke a cigarette when I get too drunk because I feel like it sobers me up. I don’t really drink anymore though and if I do it’s not to a point that I feel drunk so I told that secret for nothing. Anyway I don’t really care for it but people will do what they please. Do you go to college? No, but I’d like to.

What is your dream job? I’d love to be a published writer. Or a singer. I’ve dreamed of those since I was a little girl.

Would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? Rural would be more beautiful but if I’m about to get murdered, I don’t want to have to run 5 miles before you come across another house

Do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? I don’t go to hotels enough to take them. So, no. Do you have freckles? Yeah, but not super obvious ones like my little brother.  Do you smile for pictures? No cause I hate my smile!!! I usually make a face

How many pictures do you have on your phone?  2,289

Have you ever peed in the woods? Literally the last time I went on a hike I had to pee in the woods because I thought I was never gonna see a bathroom again Do you still watch cartoons? I fall asleep to Adult Swim every night. I also love cartoons and animated movies so hell yes.

Do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? McDonald’s I guess. 

Favorite dipping sauce? Sweet n Sour What do you wear to bed? Depends. If it’s cold, leggings and a long tee. If it’s hot or in the middle, usually just underwear and a long tee. Have you ever won a spelling bee? No, but I always got A’s on my spelling tests in high school when I didn’t study when my friends would scrape by with C’s even though they stayed up the night before to cram so that kinda feels the same

What are your hobbies? I’m kind of relearning these. I love to write. I love reading. Playing games. Going to the craft store and finding little projects I want to undertake. Can you draw? Absolutely not

Do you play an instrument? I wish, but no.

What was the last concert you saw? I honestly can’t remember. Probably Being As An Ocean a couple years ago? Or I guess Warped last year counts Tea or coffee? Coffee. I hate tea

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Dutch Bros, y’all

Do you want to get married? I really, really, really do.

What is your crush’s first and last initial? VM Are you going to change your last name when you get married? Yeah, probably. Maybe hyphenate if it sounds okay. My last name is one of the only things I feel that I have of my dad What color looks best on you? Probably green. 

Do you miss anyone right now? My boyfriend. He lives in Oakland and we only really get to spend the weekends together because of opposing schedules

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? Closed

Do you believe in ghosts? I don’t know What is your biggest pet peeve? People fucking chewing with their mouths open

Last person you called? My mom Favorite ice cream flavor? Ben & Jerry’s Chocolatta Cookie Core

Regular oreos or golden oreos? There was a limited edition Oreo that was cookie butter with golden oreo and I fuck with that heaaaaaaavy Chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? Fucking neither. 

What shirt are you wearing? A faux vintage looking Duck Tales shirt that I bought from the Hot Topic clearance bin a couple years ago

What is your phone background? It’s a little adorable poop emoji looking dude and a banner that says I feel like shit but I’m not going to let it stop me Are you outgoing or shy? I’m actually pretty fucking shy Do you like it when people play with your hair? To the point where I can only let my boyfriend do it because it definitely turns me on a little Do you like your neighbors? The neighbor directly to our left is a fucking shit for brains bitch. The lady to the left of her is an angel though and makes us food all the time and always offers us free wine Do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? I need to start taking better care of my skin yall Have you ever been high? Plenty of times Have you ever been drunk? A good handful. In March, I had an experience where I almost landed in the hospital so I’ve kind of stayed away from it Last thing you ate? Homemade chicken pot pie Favorite lyrics right now? directed @ all the men who hurt me and are now trying to wiggle back into my life

Baby, fineness is the way to kill Tell me how it feel, bet it's such a bitter pill And yeah, I know you thought you had bigger, better things Bet right now this stings 

Or basically all of Sorry Not Sorry by Demi Lovato cause that song is catchy as fuuuuuuuuck  Summer or winter? Wiiiiiiiinter 

Day or night? I’ve had insomnia since I was 7 years old, so night. Dark, milk, or white chocolate? White chocolate and I know it’s not real chocolate but suuuuuuuck my dick and get the hell outta town  Favorite month? October. I fucking love Halloween What is your zodiac sign? Gemini

Who was the last person you cried in front of? My boyfriend. He told me a really special story and I wept like a little bb

[nedcanquen]

Chapter 7: Mr 7th Floor

*Sorry it’s been more than a month hasn’t it since I updated this fic - got a little distracted last month with NedCan week and writing different stuff but I haven’t forgotten this story!

This chapter is a little different from the previous ones, mostly in that it’s very transitional (aka not much NedCan in this chapter).

Thanks for reading!

Tags: Slow Burn (like…really slow burn) - endgame is NedCan but they don’t get there directly, Single POV, Yep, Canada will date other people before endgame because he’s very desirable even if he doesn’t always know it, Audit firm AU, Office AU, some angst…

Pairings: NedCan (endgame), NorCan, implied NedDen, DenNor (I can’t believe I missed this in the last update), implied Spamano, France/Jeanne d’Arc, GerIta

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 |  Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8

Image from Pexels

“Wow Mattie! You look like shit!” Trust Alfred to state the obvious. Matthew rolls his eyes and adjusts his laptop screen so he can better see his brother. Alfred has a schedule for calls from the ISS, in addition to everything else on his plate. Between the public engagements when the whole team up there has to speak to students, or the professional ones where they speak with Houston, Korolev and other cities, other personal calls such as Al having to speak with Aunt Polly and their Dad, well, Matthew and Alfred speak once a month. It was time that Matthew ensured he never missed, even if he was sick and feeling terrible. Such as today.

“Thanks Al.” Matthew croaks carefully, it didn’t take much to send him into a coughing fit right now. “You look…tired but, happy. That’s important.” He sighs. “Ugh, sorry I’m going to be kinda medicated for this call but yeah, this bug just caught me by surprise a few days ago.” It was ridiculous. Matthew had finally decided to take some time off thanks to the leeway he got from the accident, maybe make time to go on a solo hike but no, two days after Daan became his newest friend, Matthew woke up with the telltale signs of an oncoming flu - body aches, exhaustion, a sore sinus and throat.

“Don’t apologize for being sick Mattie,” Alfred being upside down really wasn’t helping. “Like, at least it’s an excuse for you to take some time off. You work too hard.”

Matthew laughs, then coughs and regrets it. His brother literally lived his job and Matthew worked too hard? “I’m sick because I had time off. You ever get the feeling that-” Coughs, “Sometimes when you stop, your body decides to take the moment to get revenge on you?” He didn’t want to explain that the doctor had called it stress - a combination of the physical and mental burden heightening in one time that made his body weaker and more susceptible to external bugs. It was ridiculous - stress. There were millions of people he was sure, whose lives were far more stressful than his and they weren’t sick. Partners should never work, Alfred wouldn’t be in space. Matthew didn’t want to argue, he just wanted his medication and to leave, so he nodded without listening much, then left the doctor.

Of course, Alfred had to inevitably ask. “Well, it’s good that you’re taking a break anyway. What made even you decide to stop for a moment?”

Matthew smiles despite it all, imagining the echo of Daan’s laughter still bouncing off his walls. He takes a sip of the hot honey lemon he’s cradling in his hands. “I’ll type it. I wouldn’t mind telling you it’s just…” He stops again to hack up a lung. “I don’t think I’ll be able to. Though could you do me a favor and um...try not to be upside down?”

“Sure thing!”

Matthew did his best to type out the events of the previous week, but found that the old competitive streak made it hard. He didn’t want to tell his accomplished younger brother that he missed his promotion, he didn’t want to admit that he kind of got dumped but he hadn’t even told Alfred he had been dating in the first place. In the end, he settled for almost getting hit by a car for being a dumbass who didn’t look both ways before crossing the street, and making a new friend...and getting sick.

“So let me try to get this straight...you took time off because you nearly got run over by a car and that’s why you think you got sick?” He hears his brother ask over the speakers.

For all people complained about his brother being unable to ‘read the atmosphere’, the truth was well, Alfred could...selectively. Also, the selectiveness overall changed after Alfred joined NASA - the mission was important enough, the organization’s culture made up in such a way, that Alfred learned to at least be self aware and check his natural competitive aggressiveness into mere assertiveness (though Alfred sometimes still didn’t know the difference between the two). There were many at NASA and others in space programs all over the world who were smarter than Alfred (though Alfred was still the youngest, if he continued, he would lead his field at the same age most astronauts were on average), and as strong as Alfred - that kept his brother in check. They couldn’t completely get rid of the competitive man that Alfred was, but they encouraged the dreamer in him, which was arguably Alfred’s best quality when it wasn’t combined with righteousness. They also didn’t let Alfred always get his way without a good challenge. It was good overall, forcing Alfred to mature in ways that Matthew had never convinced him to, so Matthew’s pretty grateful to space for that too.

Except that now his brother was actually perceptive when Matthew didn’t want him to be. Alfred has an expression on his face, neutral save for the slightly raised eyebrow. Matthew can read Alfred well enough to know that his brother knows something isn’t being said and prepares for the needling. To his surprise though...

“But like...the flu is why you’re staying in bed, you didn’t like...break anything when you almost got hit? You sure you weren’t hurt from the car accident?” He asks in a neutral tone - neutral from Alfred means suspicious, but at least he’s not pushing it for now.

Matthew lets out a slight sigh of relief, “I got checked out after the accident, I’m fine.” Maybe he underestimates Alfred. Maybe he doesn’t actually know his brother all that well and should give him a bit more credit Maybe it’s because he’s finally noticed his brother actually trying so he feels inclined to return the favor. “It’s just...I guess…”

“Yeah?”

Matthew gives in and types out what he left out before as quickly as he can, but he’s still trying to make it sound more positive than he actually feels - he was expecting a promotion but didn’t get it, but he had been fast-tracked to begin with anyway, making Associate Director in five years would have been great but it didn’t have to happen now, he can take his time. He leaves out Lukas and simply says ‘I met a guy, it didn’t really work out but we still get along’, rather than ‘I got dumped the same day I wasn’t promoted and I felt like shit’. He’s still not entirely honest but some things, like feelings of despair, those things you keep to yourself when you speak to your competitive brother. This was a compromise of sorts. He finishes and scrutinizes the screen and the grainy video of Alfred concentrating on reading his message. He sees his brother  go slack-jawed. “WHAT!!!?”

Maybe Matthew’s trust had been a little premature. He takes in a deep breath. As Alfred keeps reading the screen, then his brother’s face morphs into one of deep thought. Alfred’s ‘thinking face’ scared most people, which was probably why he tried to smile as much as he did. Matthew isn’t prepared for what he hears next though.

“You have this dopey smile on your face Mattie, are you like...into this Dan guy?”

“WHAT?! NO!” Matthew manages to yell but it causes yet another coughing fit so he stops while Alfred rattles on.  He’s NEVER told Al about his crush on Daan, NEVER. How did he? Oh God, how obvious is Matthew?

“As for the dumb boss, fuck it Mattie! Just...finally claim your US citizenship, you’re eligible thanks to Dad, and move down here, earn more money and like...live better.”

Matthew rolled his eyes. Live better his ass, at least he could get most treatment at a hospital for free and expect reasonable amounts of leave compared to what he would otherwise get if he moved down south. “Al, I’m not leaving Canada just because my boss didn’t promote me when I wanted him to. And Daan isn’t actually my boss, he’s just another Partner in the firm.”

Alfred shrugs with a humorless laugh. He had never really appreciated Matthew’s job, eyes glazing over before talking about space and the next frontier. It occurs to Matthew that they haven’t actually talked about space yet, they’ve just been talking about him, it’s oddly refreshing. “Oh before I forget, do you know a lady called Yekaterina Braginskaya at PK&DE? She may be in a different city.”

That was another surprise, how did Al know about Yekaterina? “She sits on my floor actually.”

“Really?! No way! You guys have something in common!”

Matthew thinks a moment. “She knows someone on the ISS?”

“Ha. Yeah, her brother. We were talking the other day and found out that you two may actually know each other. Ivan is one of the cosmonauts here. Creepy guy if you ask me but he seems to love his sister, and he does know his stuff. Not as good as me of course, because he has no moral compass, but whatever.” Alfred grudgingly says, which makes Matthew think that whoever Yekaterina’s brother is, he’s a lot more competent than simply ‘he knows his stuff’. He knew his stuff enough that he had awakened Al’s competitive streak.

“Oh that’s…” The coincidence was pretty cool actually. Matthew had no idea but maybe he’d knock on her door whenever he recovered well enough to go back to work. “Interesting. I don’t know her well, but…I know you may scoff Al, but sometimes I do get worried about you up there. It may be good to be able to speak about that with someone.” Matthew also wonders if it is natural to be simultaneously proud but jealous of a younger sibling but that probably wasn’t something to open a first conversation with.

Alfred shrugs. “Probably how Ivan and I don’t see eye to eye on most things but we do agree that...you two deserve more. He makes her sound like sweetness incarnate but scary when she’s mad, and you’re...ha! We actually got into a bit of a competition over who has the nicer sibling and whose sibling is scarier when mad. I know you’re looking at me like I’d pick a fight over anything but man I’ve never had a real conversation with Ivan before this that wasn’t about work. Like, I told him about you and he helped me appreciate that, yeah, you’ve been promoted mad fast. I get that now, of course you have because you’re you.” Oh. It’s nice to hear praise from his brother for once. Matthew tries to remember how often he praises his brother for his accomplishments...not much to be honest. Alfred never seemed the type to need it. “But it’s also hard to imagine what you guys do over there, and I know you explain it but I just...look Mattie I try, but I glaze over. And YOU glaze over when I get beyond the surface on dark matter, so it’s not just me okay? But like...it’s kind of cartoonish I know, what we try to think up, like dull and grey and numbery, surrounded by boring dull people who give you more numbers and you’re the only splashes of color there. It’s probably not like that at all.”

Matthew laughs and coughs again at the image of two men living in space being unable to imagine something as mundane as professional services when he can barely wrap his head around what they do. “How poetic. I’m...thanks Al. I don’t really say this because I kind of think it’s a given but even though I glaze over when you try to explain it to me, I’m proud of you. I am. I feel kinda privileged to have been part of a conversation in space I mean, you two discuss your boring siblings when you’re studying dark matter, time travel or...I dunno, everything you do up there in space?”

Alfred laughs too. “We have mice up here. I don’t directly work with them but you know, they’re the closest things we have to pets up here...if you don’t get too attached to them anyway. Well, these are sibling mice. Some are up here, the others are down below as part of the control setup. We got mauldin one day I guess, and just ended up talking about the mice during our break. It was weird.”

Matthew can’t help the fond smile breaking out on his face. It was an odd story but... “I miss you too Al. And I know you’re you but...take care of yourself up there okay…”

He still feels a little sad after the call ends, well, happy and sad. It’s been nice to talk to Alfred since he’s been on board the ISS. He wonders if his newly-matured brother is someone that will remain once he returns to Earth but either way, it’s still nice to see his brother growing up. Alfred didn’t always take challenges gracefully, being a genius he was always in a class of his own. But the state of genius is a lonely place, so Matthew thinks that maybe Alfred may understand more now than Matthew ever gave him credit for before. Besides, it seemed to him that as much as his brother complained about this Ivan guy, he was probably happy to have company, even if that company is mostly manifesting as a rivalry. He tries to ignore what Alfred said about Matthew’s dopey smile

As Matthew checks his messages, he sees the email from an old classmate - someone open to taking on the job of working with Mathias. Matthew sighs and hopes for the best. For a moment he contemplates sending the promised contact to Mathias through Emil but quickly dismisses the idea. He’s not a moody teenager, he’s an adult damnit, he’s not involving a kid and besides a promise is a promise. Lukas was his friend, first and foremost and he wished him, them, the best.  No matter how awkward he feels, Matthew virtually introduces Matthias and his old classmate as professionally as possible by email and hits ‘send’.

Afterwards Matthew realizes he’s bored. He’s sick enough that he can’t really go outside, tired enough that he doesn’t feel like moving about, but still restless. He supposes he should cook himself something though and realizes that he does happen to have enough for chicken soup, and hey, aren’t tomatoes full of vitamin C? It was time to finish them all up anyway.

He’s in the middle of slicing up onions and wiping tears when his phone dings.

*

DAAN: Universe still hate you? DAAN: Flu DAAN: Also, Mathias is grateful but is hounding me for my opinion on whether or not he should call you to thank you, or if that would be rude DAAN: I’m not going to waste time trying to imagine what’s going on in your head DAAN: So what do you want? Text or call? DAAN: Had a good talk with your brother?

The last question surprises Matthew. He had mentioned the call the Alfred in passing after watching videos of cute bunnies for about an hour but didn’t expect Daan to remember. Then again, it’s space, and also, Partners had to remember key things, so Matthew shouldn’t have been surprised. It’s Saturday, and Daan must be bored as heck when he doesn’t work. That’s the only reason Matthew can imagine for why his phone is being attacked with messages, but it brings a smile to his face all the same. After a few moments of tossing the onions into the pot, washing and drying his hands, he types a few replies.

YOU: Text YOU: Would probably have a coughing fit if I tried to talk YOU: Despite that, had a pretty good talk with the brother. Apparently Yekaterina Braginskaya’s brother is a cosmonaut. He’s my brother’s colleague. DAAN: Small world DAAN: ‘typing…’

--

*1 MESSAGE NOTIFICATION*

Mathias Kohler: Thanks for the intro Matthew! Heard you’re sick, that sucks man, hope you feel better soon. There’ll always be maple syrup danishes for you here once you feel better.

Matthew types out a quick reply: “Hope he manages to help you out, and thanks.”

--

DAAN: Need me to bring anything over so you can continue resting up?

Yeah there was no way Matthew would be able to handle that right now.

YOU: I’m contagious, but thanks. I have enough I think. And according to the doc, I’m sick because the universe loves me. Go figure.

Matthew lowers the heat to let the pot go at a simmer and shuffles over to his couch.

DAAN: I honestly don’t understand how you can call that love

There’s not much he can say to that so he just leaves it. A few minutes later though, there’s an adorable picture of Maple having a nap on a coach under a sunbeam.

DAAN: This is the universe loving a creature. Notice the difference.

Feeling oddly petty and lighthearted, Matthew pulls the curtains open wider and falls back on his old couch, letting the light fall across his face. He’s squinting and it’s an ugly picture - he’s still in his pajamas, with unkept hair, red eyes and nose, and a sickly pallour. Matthew never takes selfies, but he does let himself get pulled into them when Michelle takes them. Anyway, this isn’t meant to be a beauty shot, this is proving a point to a guy who always needs the last word.

YOU: I know it’s hard to accept the obvious sometimes, but there’s no need to be jealous.

There’s no immediate response so Matthew leaves the phone be. If he doesn’t rip himself from it, he won’t put it down all day. A few hours later after he’s happily fed and medicated, Matthew lies back down on his bed and smiles in drug-induced relaxation. It’s only then that he checks his phone again.

DAAN: Oh God you’re really gone DAAN: Go to sleep

With a shrug, Matthew does just that.

“It’s nice to see you in good spirits mate. You’re the happiest sickie I’ve ever seen.” Jack says by way of greeting. Matthew has to laugh in response. He’s finally back to work after more than a week off and he’s not completely recovered but he’s on the mend.

“Yeah well, when you almost die a few days before getting a little flu, it does put things into perspective.” Matthew shrugs. “It’s good to be alive, even sick, you get to you know, feel things.”

“That’s the spirit!” Jack laughs. “Gotta stay positive right?”

Jack settles down in his chair. This lunch appointment was for furthering the plans for Arthur’s celebration.

“Speaking of staying positive, with how limited our budget is, we can’t even get a bottle of good congratulatory champagne, or we can, but then we’d only have champagne, or we could have an actual party. I’m hoping we’re missing some zeroes because that can’t be right?” Matthew asks. Daan is known for being cheap but even Matthew thinks this is ridiculous. He had thought of asking Daan about it before he remembered he was working with Jack specifically so Daan wouldn’t have to worry about planning this thing after he approved a budget for it.

It’s not that Matthew wants the party to be a drunken celebration, he shudders thinking of some nights carrying Arthur home after office parties or even client parties (sometimes he felt that clients kept Arthur around because he amused them so much when he had a few drinks in him), but this was the ultimate promotion and it was for Arthur, there had to be *some* good drinks. People had to let loose once in a while and heck, Matthew was willing to carry  Arthur home if it came down to it.

Jack smiles but his face is tight. “There’s no mistake. Look it’s a riot when Arthur is drunk because he’s so different, but bossman is pretty finished with it.”

“Still…” Matthew muses. “It’s a celebration, if we get a good bottle of champagne that’s harmless.”

“Ha! Don’t worry about it. Just blame it on Daan being cheap. That way Arthur won’t be mad at you.”

Matthew rolls his eyes. “We can’t blame everything on Daan being cheap! Has he actually been as cheap as they say? Or is it you guys using him as an excuse?” He demands, oddly defensive. To his own knowledge, he’s never personally seen this miserly side of Daan that seems to be so famous. Maybe he’s also being protective over his new friend.

“That’s right, you only met him after he made Partner. Nowadays it’s not as bad. Daan believes in hard work and earning your keep, but he’s seriously judgemental over what you spend money on. He’ll pay for your training no problem. But Arthur loving to drink obviously doesn’t qualify. The budget for a newly minted Partner should be more than this but Daan’s probably strangling it specifically so Arthur doesn’t get embarrassingly pissed, at least not on department money because...Arthur drinks...a fucking lot.”

Matthew frowns. “Can’t blame Daan I guess, and I’m not crazy about how much Arthur loves his alcohol, but he is a grown man and if that just means dragging him back for an occasional night or two…”

“Was that all you had to do before?” Jack interrupts, curious. “A night or two?”

Alarm bells are ringing in Matthew’s head. “How often is it now?”

Jack shrugs. “Well in Europe we reached a point where it was pretty much everyday. You think I got these arms from gym and rugby alone?”

Matthew’s eyes widen.

“Look mate, he can handle it, but they drink a lot in Europe and Arthur was wining and dining clients every night.”

Matthew doesn’t want to judge, he really doesn’t, but “Everyday! Look a glass of red wine everyday is normal, enjoying drinks on weekends and Friday nights probably isn’t great but it makes sense, but being dragged back because you’re passed out drunk everyday is alcoholism.”

Jack shakes his head. “Nah, I know alcoholics, they’re a mess and they always smell like alcohol. Arthur can still get to work and get the job done, and he does it well too. Wouldn’t have made Partner if he couldn’t handle it.” He thinks more and frowns. “I was only worried about him one night - that night was wild, the boys in blue were called in and some fines were paid. I dragged Arthur home while he was dressed in some porny nurse Halloween costume, still have no fucking clue where that came from. Since then, bossman has forbidden Arthur from even touching a cider at work. They cut a deal - Daan said, finish Maplecorp, deliver the best work the firm has ever seen, and he’ll make Partner as deserved. Bossman also said he doesn’t care what Arthur decides to do with his private life, but don’t embarrass the team like this. So yeah, I kinda forgot not everyone knows, it is a secret I guess. But that’s why this is going to be the most boring ass promotion party ever.”

Matthew can only stare wide eyed with his jaw drops. “What the...when did it get so bad?”

Jack shrugs. “Didn’t mean to scare you. Look I think he has a handle on it but I think it just picked up during Maplecorp. Now he’s back in Canada he should return to being the occasional social drinker since he doesn’t like going out much. Maplecorp was different - Arthur wanted to be responsible for it, and he was, and you know him...he was solely responsible. But, it was a fucking huge project. Back in Europe he just started...drinking a lot but it was client relationship stuff. That’s the best I can guess, I’m not exactly in his head. Arthur is...I dunno if this was it when he was with you guys but, Arthur is a walking mass of contradictions, but he does the job well, and he’s been a mentor to me too so I respect him but... he just doesn’t cope with stress as well.”

Jack at least seems concerned now, even as he tries to reassure Matthew but Matthew still looks away, confused. Now that he thinks about it, Arthur has been different. He didn’t know about the alcohol until now but Arthur has been more aloof even by his standards. Matthew had never seen him since he returned from the end of the Maplecorp project, spoken to him on the phone and all yes but not seen him, that also was rude of him. Matthew told himself that Arthur was busy, and maybe operating off some old etiquette book where junior staff had to go see him before Arthur said ‘hello’. But Matthew hasn’t had time to deal with that with all his problems, and maybe was scared that his old mentor would be disappointed in him, so he didn’t exactly reach out.

“Fuck.” Matthew swears in agreement. “Fine, quick fix then. Anyone in the department have kids?”

“Yeah.”

“Good, invite them, we’ll make this a big celebration, but a warm and simple one. The kids being around will give us an excuse to just buy non-alcoholic drinks like that...sparkling juice stuff packed in champagne bottles that aren’t champagne. We still get the ‘pop’, Arthur loves kids, and as far as I know, he won’t let himself go crazy around them, though he may tell them scary stories or whatever. I’ll make sure Francis brings Jean. She’s a doctor, and she’ll be able to guess if he actually has a problem or if I’m over-reacting. Kids and Jean, they’re pleasant, it’ll be pleasant. He may even enjoy himself. We’ll also invite people whom he used to work with like Belle, or friends like Lukas, if they’re free. A party doesn’t need to have alcohol to be fun, but if work is making Arthur drink like there’s no tomorrow, I don’t want him solely surrounded by work, even though this is a Partner party.”

Jack���s eyes light up. “Belle as in, my boss’s hot sister?”

Matthew rolls his eyes and laughs. “Yeah. Does Daan know you have a crush on his sister?”

Jack shrugs. “Everyone has a crush on her, it can’t be a surprise. But...good plan about the kids. I’ll let Daan know about it when I get back from lunch. If it’s non-alcoholic, we can save on drink money and actually cater real food.”

“Or make it a potluck. Get this as homey as possible.” As far as he knew, Arthur lived alone and wasn’t the best cook, as much as he tried to improve, but he wouldn’t say no to home-cooked food.

“Hey hey!” Jack laughs. “Don’t spoil my boss with the discounts! No wonder he likes you so much!”

It was a harmless statement but because of his embarassing history with crushing on Daan, it made Matthew freeze a little. Thankfully Jack just barreled on.

“My cousin makes damned good ice cream, he knows Arthur too, looked up to him once. Maybe I can convince him to make a whole lot for us at a special price. Keep the kids happy.”

Matthew nods, deciding that he’s too jumpy today. “I’ll never say no to good ice cream. Could you also think of a venue that could accommodate all this? Because I’m drawing a blank.

Jack grins. “Leave that to me. So, next week, follow-up meeting?”

Matthew nods. “Sounds good. Is Arthur in today?”

“Yeah, though he’s only free by around four if you were planning on dropping by.”

“Thanks.” Matthew sighs and leans back in his chair. It was good to be doing things again rather than just lying in bed and watching Netflix, but the human drama it seemed, was never-ending. Maybe he should leave it alone but he can’t. “You all knew?” He had to ask.

Jack purses his lips and shrugs. “It just didn’t occur to us as a problem. If it ever affected work or led any of us to harm, Arthur would be gone. But Arthur’s still great at his job.”

“So you guys are just going to wait for it to get that bad.” Matthew sighs, he can’t help himself and Jack bristles.

“Look Matthew. It may be a problem, it may not be, but even if it is, we can’t fix Arthur. The only person who can fix Arthur is Arthur. It’s nice that you’re concerned. Maybe it’s different in your team, but we don’t really baby each other in M&A, we make our own achievements. There’s a point where you have to take what you want, where you make changes to yourself. Arthur knows that.”

Matthew shakes his head and forces his anger to subside, breathes in and out. Arguing over this wouldn’t solve anything but he responds with a slight glare. “I’m worried. This is news to me I really need to see him.”

Jack nods, a little more seriously now. “Knock yourself out mate. Hopefully this is all nothing, and like you said, we’re not doctors.” After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Jack adds lightly. “Hey Matthew, you’re going to the management conference next month right?” Maybe Jack is changing the subject to erase the tension that had built.

Matthew laughs. He may not be an Associate Director but only Directors and above got to have rooms to themselves so it hardly mattered to him. “I slave away for this firm all year, I’m not missing it when they decide to treat me to a beach resort.” Not to mention, next month is July. Matthew doesn’t usually announce his birthday because he’s more than happy to share it with his country, it feels like the whole nation is celebrating with him, but a beach getaway during his birthday month is a nice bonus after all the setbacks.

Jack smiles and nods. “Great? Gotta roommate? I’ve usually been stuck rooming with Gabe, but we’re not allowed to room together again this time. Last year we stayed up late watching the Wallabies-Springbok game and apparently we were so into it that our neighbours made a formal complaint to their Partner, who took it up with Daan! Damn, they have no life! As if whenever Stanley Cup season rolls around it isn’t worse.”

Matthew smiles in amusement but isn’t sure what Jack is talking about. “Wallabies-Springbok? Is that...” He remembers the jersey he borrowed so long ago now. “Rugby?”

“That’s right. Rugby Championships, it’s a big rugby competition that’s just between four countries. When I grew up it was just called the Tri-Nations, and it was just Australia, New Zealand and South Africa - huge rivalry between those three and Gabe’s South African. It’s not like we’ll be watching next month, there’s no game, but a complaint is a complaint.”

“Oh...sure. Yeah let’s room together.” He doesn’t mind, and he figures, no sports, no crazy Jack. And besides, he has more pressing matters to be concerned about right now.

Matthew makes his way to the 7th floor at four o’clock. Arthur has been moved into a room that is two rooms over from Daan’s but it’s somewhat nice to see Arthur’s nameplate on the glass door. Unfortunately, Arthur himself doesn’t look happy. He’s on the phone at his new desk and it looks like he’s been on the phone for a while.

Arthur looks up and appears a little surprised but heartened to see him, then points at his phone and rolls his eyes. Matthew nods, understanding that Arthur is going to be held up for a while. Maybe Matthew ought to just be proactive and try to set up a lunch appointment with Arthur. As he turns around, he feels he’s already seen what he’s come to see anyway.

Arthur looks like he’s aged 10 years in the past three. He’s chubby now and has probably increased three or four clothes sizes, his gut strains against the belt that cinches his waist. Arthur’s hair looks almost grey and his skin has taken on a splotchy pink color. It could be stress alone wreaking havoc on Arthur’s body, but that probably isn’t it.

“Hey Matthew.” Jack greets, “Sorry we’re all going to be bad hosts, there’s some emergency that’s popped up, and with two different projects at the same time. That’s the breaks. Look at them, they’re both spitting flames.”

Through the glass doors, Matthew can see Daan pacing around his room and speaking at his phone in a curt tone, presumably on speaker. Echoes of his voice drift out into the main seating area and Matthew realises he can’t understand a word of it. It doesn’t sound like a European language either. That’s not really important though, what’s striking is that Daan is older than Arthur, and right now Arthur looks like he’s Daan’s pissed-off uncle, well no, there’s no resemblance between the two of them, but it’s still shocking. Matthew finds he can’t really speak so he just nods. He looks around at the stressed out team - they’re oddly quiet by their standards, rapidly typing on their computers or holding phones to their ears, presumably also taking part in the calls that their ultimate bosses are commenting on, or on some other business. It’s normal for them, no one seems to think there’s anything odd with the picture. Matthew can understand new staff not being concerned, but the guys like Jack who have been here for a while and have seen what Arthur used to look like?

Maybe it’s stark only because they saw Arthur’s transformation gradually, whereas Matthew saw him three years ago and can see the drastic change.

Matthew doesn’t know if he should be asking Lukas for help. Arthur is his old mentor and their relationship is mostly professional, but Arthur and Lukas are former MBA classmates. They had apparently formed some kind of folklore or naturalist club (he can’t recall the details) together with another Romanian student, or so Lukas had informed him when they first met. Matthew also doesn’t know if it’s his place to seek an intervention. He’s not Arthur’s family or friend, and it appeared his entire team had decided to respect Arthur’s autonomy. Maybe that’s the right thing to do. What he wants to do kind of smacks of Alfred, interfering with things because he just wanted to help, sometimes going where he wasn’t welcome.  Either way, maybe Lukas would have an opinion on that, it wasn’t exactly something Matthew could figure out on his own.

Ultimately, Matthew pressed the call button, because Lukas wasn’t attached to the firm. If Lukas decided to have a sit down with his friend well, that would be more appropriate.

“Hey Lukas, is this a good time to talk?” He’s sitting in his car driving home, and hoping that Lukas is either sitting in the quiet of his office or also on the way home.

“It sounds like something is wrong?” Lukas answers with concern. “I’m still at the office but I can talk.” There’s an edge of uncertainty or questioning in the voice. Matthew can’t blame Lukas, he didn’t expect himself to be calling so soon either, but some things were bigger than you.

Matthew hears a door closing. “Have you seen Arthur since he’s been back?” He asks.

There’s a pause. “No. Either he’s too busy or I’m not free. Haven’t tried my best to be honest. A lot’s been going on.”

Yeah no kidding. Matthew takes a deep breath and explains what he just learned about Arthur, at least what he thinks. “So...what do you think? Am I overthinking this? Is there actually a problem with...alcoholism here? Is this something that’s happened before? You know him better than I do, to me he was mostly a mentor and mentors usually try to be the best versions of themselves to the kiddies.” He tries to joke to lighten things.

Lukas doesn’t immediately answer. “...can you pick me up at the office?”

That didn’t sound good. “Uh yeah, I’ll just turn around.”

Later, when Lukas climbs into the passenger seat, he’s all business. “Hi.” He greets.

“Hi.”

“We’re going to speak to Daan.”

“WHAT?” Maybe Lukas feels free and easy to just drop in on the man, but Matthew has only been his friend for a week. Granted he didn’t answer any of Daan’s messages today because he’s been thinking and worried and kind of angry as well if he’s honest. Sure, Arthur’s state isn’t Daan’s fault but anger doesn’t know logic and Matthew gets that. He also knows he’s merciless when he is angry so wanted some time to sort out his feelings before snapping unnecessarily.

“Arthur drank a lot during the Masters.” Lukas starts to explain. “It was still university days, a lot of us did that, who doesn’t? But there were points that got embarrassing. He stopped after the first year, and changed his image from the punk kid I first met - that’s just appearances though. So yes, it could be a problem, Arthur’s always had the potential. Daan should know if this is actually a problem, and if there needs to be an intervention, the three of us together can come up with a better plan.”

“I’m not sure how...I mean, his boss? His friend and his former junior staff member? I’m concerned but I also don’t know how much of a right I have to be here I mean-”

“You cared enough to call me. Who cares about rights?” Lukas cut in. “People are...people. When it comes to things like these, people care about you or they don’t. Which isn’t to say that the people around Arthur don’t care about him, I’m sure they do, but they probably feel restricted by certain boundaries, like you just mentioned - boss and employee, acquaintance, mentor and student. But if you’re concerned, you’re just concerned. If Arthur responds angrily to that and let’s face it, he might, it wouldn’t be forever. He’ll come to his senses eventually.”

Matthew grips the steering wheel and just nods. “Should we tell them that we’re heading over?”

Lukas shrugs. “Fine.” He pulls out his phone and Matthew sets the address into the GPS.

[the314anoman]

2018 sucked

it was probably the shittiest year of my life, and that’s not an easy title to claim. let’s recap:

it all started way back in early january, when our subway came under new ownership and we got a new manager, who had worked there for a shorter period than i had (yeah, i was part-time working during college, she was full-time, but w/e) and it all went downhill fast. our manager wasn’t bad, she just was just trying to deal with all the new regulations we were facing and the fact that we were Massively Understaffed™ for being located in a fucking mall. like, for contrast, our old managers let us get away with not turning the line coolers off at night if we were really busy, but under the new owners, we had to clean the legs of tables to get the salt of them. i decided to quit in march after having minors stay and help me close even though they were off the clock since they were required to punch out at 9:30 and still getting yelled at for staying too long and not making everything Perfect. it was so stressful trying to work both faster and harder, so i quit. then, college got out in april and i was looking for internships all over and applying everywhere, but i never got even so much as an interview request. so, june came and i just said “fuck it” and applied to other subways closer to home. ended up getting an interview the next day at a different subway, 2 miles from the old one. i got the job and starting working to find out the subway was also Massively Understaffed™ but the manager was more chill, so it seemed fine. turns out the reason the manager was chill is that he was high. like, all the time. this resulted in him having the memory of a goldfish. like, i specifically told him and his assistant manager that i couldn’t work one day and yet he still called asking where i was when i very plainly explained it twice. and he also scheduled a meeting on the day i request off for my niece’s baptism. at 8am. on a sunday. at the same time, i managed to get an interview at a local factory. it wasn’t really an internship nor in my field, but it was a job and it paid $12/hr so i was like, hell yeah, why not. i managed to get the job and started july 1st, which was great, buuuuuut... the job was super boring; it was pretty much doing the same repetitive tasks over and over again for 7.5 hours a day while ~~listening~~ being subjected to country music. BUT, we got 3 breaks a day and it was nice having a chill job. i came up with a lot of really good writing ideas for a novel that’s been a super long wip because my mind was mostly free during work since it was so repetitive. at this time, i’m still working at subway, mostly weekends and some 5-close shifts. i’m not getting a whole lot of sleep and so that probably explains what happens on july 25th, probably the single shittiest day of my life. i get into the factory and the normal manager is gone on vacation and one of my coworkers is taking over. she tells me that i’ve been missing the least important step in the process of making some parts that i’ve been doing for days now. so naturally, i mess it up a couple more times, but only when she’s watching, because ofc. this happens 3 times and the third time i kind of chuckle to myself because i’m literally only doing it when she’s watching. she takes this to mean i’m laughing at her and yells at me about how i think it’s a joke and blah blah blah, like that’s not what i meant at all but she won’t let me explain. THEN, i get out of work and i’m already on the verge of tears because i have a migraine from lack of sleep and i hate getting yelled at, and i see a text i got while at work (we’re not allowed phones on our person at all at the factory. national security stuff apparently) that my grandma is in the hospital and not going to make it. i just... lose it. i go home and just sit outside on a chair, cuddling my cat and gross sobbing for the first time i can recall. i’m supposed to work a 5-9 shift at subway tonight, but i am not in any state to work. i call them through tears saying i can’t work tonight, i’m visiting my grandma in the hospital in muskegon, an hour away. she’s unconscious when i get there. she dies an hour later, while me and my family are eating dinner downstairs in the basement where there’s no signal. eventually tomorrow comes. it’s now july 26th, which if you know me, is my birthday. my 21st birthday, in fact. you know how for most people, their 21st is the best day of your life? yeah, it was one of the worst for me. i still had to get up at 6am for the factory work, then run home, get changed, and work 5-9 at subway. the only bright spot were two helpful coworkers. one from the factory gave me a butterscotch shot, saying you should still try and enjoy your birthday and my subway coworker bought a hershey pie for me and gave me a hug and some helpful advice. (she had been through a similar experience with her mom passing, so she knew a lot about grief.) i took her advice on letting yourself be happy and decided to go to my friends’ meetup that weekend, which i had requested off from subway previously. it’s a while away, but this was planned a long time ago and i don’t get to see my college friends in the summer other than this, so i’m not missing this. but, when i’m almost there i get a call from subway insisting that i work this weekend to make up for missing my 4 hour shift yesterday. i’m furious because i missed it for legitimate reasons and i was already over 2 hours away and i was NOT driving back. (the reason they’re insisting is because they don’t want to pay my coworker overtime, despite the fact she’s living in a trailer park only off her subway income, too.) they say they might have to fire me and i’m like, sure, i have another job and i already put in my 2 weeks lol. so i go there and try to forget this whole week ever happened. the funeral is on monday, the factory gives me it off so i can attend. there’s lots of tears. lots and lots. my grandma touched a lot of people’s lives; she’s one of the kindest people i’ve ever known. she probably would have supported my sexuality if i ever told her, i regret not doing so earlier. i come back to my factory job on tuesday, and as if the universe is answering some unanswered “could things get any worse?” the hiring manager informs me i’m fired, as if it had to be july 31st, to add to the shithole that july 2018 was. this was a temp position to begin with, and i was leaving in a couple weeks anyway, but this is just another blow to an already grieving 21-year-old. i may have just lost both my jobs and my grandmother in the span of 7 days. i leave the factory and get in my car and just. scream. time passes. the pain of july slowly fades from a roaring inferno all over my body to a dull pulsing. good things start to happen again. i move into an apartment with 3 friends, get a job at the theatre after a lot of paperwork issues, i make the cut for an a capella group and find new friends, develop a crush on someone (something i haven’t really had since high school - but that’s a story for another time), and actually start getting my shit together. things are definitely looking up, despite the fact i had the worst month of life a couple months ago. ...and then comes december, as if it’s trying to challenge july to a battle for shittiest month ever. final exams are coming up, i spend a lot of the previous week leading up to exams rehearsing for performances (i had 4 performances in a week’s span), not much studying could be done. not that studying would help that much, as we would see, but w/e. i ended up forgetting my book with all the important formulas and relationships in it that are too complex to memorize, so i completely bombed that final, and therefore failed the whole class. i’m already having to take an extra semester, failing this class does NOT help. i barely stayed above a 3.0 gpa, a requirement for most internships. on the same day we got final grades back, my mom got a call saying my grandpa had died, only a week before christmas. my whole family went back up to do the whole funeral thing again. we are getting awfully familiar with this nursing home (my mom lost both her parents and an uncle in 5 months). finally, on new year’s eve i decide it’s either now or never to admit my feelings, so i ask my crush out. i get rejected, which is mostly what i expected, but it still knocks the wind out of me. so yeah, 2018 was super extra shitty for me. but at the same time, i feel like i’ve grown a lot as a person. i’ve made a bunch of new friends, gained a niece, learned a lot about pain, and done a lot of things i never thought i’d do. hell, i had the balls to ask a guy out, which was something that frightened me to my core. i went on a trip to dc and learned more about the injustices happening here, i went camping/hiking with friends, and went tubing behind a boat. so, i’m not gonna pretend it’s all bad.

[paranoid-fighter]

:0 all of them if you'd like!

So, I did answer all of them. However, there are some dark and heavy things in some of the questions, so I left those blank. Since it’s so long, the answers are under the cut. 

1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.I remember seeing snippits of it on the television in the hotel in Washington DC years and years ago. I wanted to know the name of the movie, but we didn't have time for me to find the TV Guide channel. Years passed by and then I saw the movie again. I watched more of it, but I missed the first half.

I think it took me a few years to finally see the whole thing. I should watch it again - haven't seen it in over four years. (The Birdcage is a wonderful movie.)

2: Talk about your first kiss.I was in 9th grade and I was out on some sort of hiking trip with some other people at my church. A guy I had been kinda flirting with a bit pulled me aside and kissed me. I had the brilliant idea to pretend to faint afterwards. I fell to the ground and didn't move. As he began to panic, I stood up, pointed and laughed at him.

Yeah, I don't know either.

3: Talk about the person you've had the most intense romantic feelings for.My former best friend, I think. She was the one that got me into writing all those years ago. I flew to Japan to meet her and then, a few years later, she came to the US while on military leave. I had a whole week planned for us and, I must say, it was incredibly romantic.

And then I saw her in person and realized how much she had changed in the two years after our first meeting. It quickly killed any and all feelings I had.

4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.I try to live in a way that eliminates regrets - I do not do things that I think will cause me to feel regret. However, there are plenty of embarrassing incidents in my past that make me feel emotions akin to regret.

5: Talk about the best birthday you've had.My 24th was probably the best. I spent the entire day alone in my old apartment, not talking to anyone for more than about ten minutes (tops) and it was all over the phone. I made myself some cupcakes and mulled wine and I spent the day lying on the couch, listening to music as I ate and drank in happy solitude.

6: Talk about the worst birthday you've had.I had just turned 22 and was at my parents' house with none of my friends around. That morning, I was told that I was showing lesions, potentially cancerous, in my liver. I was so violently ill that I dropped fifteen pounds in less than three weeks and had lacerations in most of my lower GI tract. I was in so much pain and was so fatigued that I could barely get out of bed. My at-the-time boyfriend was accusing me of faking my pain and sickness so that I didn't have to go see him. When I told my best friend of 12 years what was happening, she signed offline and didn't talk to me again for about three months. That night, I was looking up things I wanted to do, in case it was cancer, and that's when I found out that my life-long dream of being a pilot would never happen because you can't get your pilot's license when you have vertigo...

7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.Either my physical appearance, my intelligence or my writing. They're all major insecurities, but they take turns jockeying for the number one spot.

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.I'm still alive.

9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.I have a little freckle in each of my eyes, near the brown ring around my iris. The overall colour of my eye can be described as hazel, but it's more of a grey/green colour than a brown - aside from the aforementioned ring.

I also like my tattoos. I have three at this point and each represents a milestone in my life. Tattoos: the first one was done in Japan, while meeting my (at the time) best friend of 10+ years. The second is a : ) on my left hand, near the thumb. It was how I celebrated a first year of post-college employment (I drew the smile on my hand all during college, as a reminder to smile.) The third is the grey muslin moth on my foot, to celebrate a milestone in my life.

10: Talk about the biggest fight you've ever had.All I will say is that I was 18 and it was between my father and older brother. It went on for hours and the relationships are forever altered. 

11: Talk about the best dream you've ever had.I... don't really remember my dreams. I suppose the best one I had was a semi-lucid dream where a very dear friend knelt down beside my bed a few days after breaking up with the aforementioned boyfriend. He told me "I know it's hard now, but you're going to be okay. I promise." Either that, or the one night I finally beat the night terrors that I had been having for over 12 years. True, I tore the muscles in my shoulders because I literally fought off the dream and was in a sling for six weeks, but it was worth it.

12: Talk about the worst dream you've ever had.Any of the night terrors that I had at least monthly for over 12 years. They would always include the same themes, but in different orders, and would always result in me dying.

13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.I’m sorry, but no. I prefer not to think about that time.

14: Talk about a vacation.I spent a week alone in my old apartment, drinking mulled wine and mead, eating good food and watching the snow falling. I'd go out in the mornings for a long walk on the snowy trails by the river, sometimes with a cigar, and I'd watch the ducks swimming in the river. It was quiet.

15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.I did a post about this a while ago, in more detail, but it was a night that I was sitting with one of my very best friends in the office of the brewery. It was raining and we could hear it on the metal roof. We sat together, he was rubbing my feet for a bit, and we were just talking for hours. We left after the brewery closed for the night, then we stood outside in the parking lot. We held each other for a long time before we drove our separate ways. His car followed mine for as long as he could.

16: Talk about the best party you've ever been to.I wouldn't really call it a party in the sense that invitations were sent out, but there was one night in college that my roommate/best friend was in my room with me. We were drinking together and we just talked honestly to one another. We talked about our pasts, our families, our fears, our hopes and dreams. We spent the night like that, talking until our voices were hoarse.

17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with.Someone that likes to sit back and talk about life, the universe and everything. The late night conversations where you sit in the comfortable darkness and just ask the questions you're too afraid to say during the day. Someone I can trust, who understands my boundaries and my own needs, who I can turn to at any time.

18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school.Second grade, my teachers found out I was reading on a college level and I was the furthest ahead in multiplication knowledge - it was the only time I was ever good at math.

19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.I found a book in my brother's room that took me to a fansite online, which then sparked my interest in writing.

20: Talk about something that happened in high school.I was given a medal by my English teacher. I can't remember what it was for, or why I was given it, but I remembered being proud of it. Especially because it was the one medal that wasn't given to the daughter of the school's guidance councilor/administrator.

21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.Someone in college asked me out with a very sweet poem that he left on my door. I showed it to another friend, who then told me that the guy was a drug addict with a possible sexual assault charge. I wrote a note on his door, politely declining his offer.

I still like the phrase "let me be your afternoon delight," though.

22: Talk about your worst fear.Honestly? Being forced to stay alive on life support.

23: Talk about a time someone turned you down.He was a coworker at my former job. I had a crush on him. He didn't have one on me. He came over for a farewell drink before I moved away. He left soon after.

24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot."I have learned so much about people from you. You have had all these things happen to you, but you keep on going and you keep smiling. I want to be like you." - My therapist, during one of our sessions.

25: Talk about an ex-best friend.I called him "Big Brother," because he was everything I wanted in a brother. He and I met and it was almost like meeting someone from a previous life. We clicked instantly and were inseparable. Even when he moved away, we kept in touch. He'd call me every day after he got off work. We'd play video games together almost every single night.

His fiance told him "it's him or me."

He got married two years ago.

It ended with "I love you, Big Brother." "I love you too, Little Brother."

It was the first and last time he ever called me that.

26: Talk about things you do when you're sick.If I'm physically sick, then I will generally make eggdrop soup and sip on that. If it's mental sickness, then I clean. And clean. And clean.

27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else's body.Their hair - if it's clean and well-kept.

28: Talk about your fetishes.Yeah, no.

29: Talk about what turns you on.Kindness, showing general interest in something I enjoy, kindness, good hygiene...

30: Talk about what turns you off.Rudeness, telling me you don't care about something I do, rudeness, poor hygiene...

31: Talk about what you think death is like.An ending.

32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.The bathroom window, overlooking the woods just a few yards away. I'd spend a very long time staring out of the window, watching the birds and the trees. And then, on some nights, I'd watch the moon and the stars.

33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.I sit and stew for awhile, usually alone and completely offline. I try to distract myself and I usually end up cleaning. And cleaning. And cleaning. Until exhaustion claims me. After some time, guilt overrides my sadness and I come back online again.

34: Talk about the worst physical pain you've endured.Having cysts rupture. I have a high pain tolerance which has been proven time and time again, but this left me gasping and literally screaming for God to kill me for over five hours, each and every time. It happened four times in three months. I do not think I will forget it.

35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.Being so damned focused on "doing." I must always be doing something, always, always. It's a problem. I make myself lists of things to do and I make them in a way that takes almost all day to do, leaving me no time at the end for myself.

36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.Cookie dough ice cream. Soft bedding. Fuzzy things. Some music I won't readily admit to. I don't know if these count as guilty pleasures, though, but I'm drawing a blank on what actually would be a guilty pleasure of mine.

37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.She was my best friend in high school. I thought I loved her. She made me happy to be around. We grew apart when she started dating other men, but she'd always come back to be my friend when they left. I was always there for her. I liked being her support. But... we grew apart when she started dating her now-husband. We grew apart and we both never reached out to the other again.

38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people."Outside" by Hollywood Undead reminds me of my "Big Brother." I listened to the song on repeat for hours after our farewell - it was his favourite band."Snow" by Red Hot Chili Peppers reminds me of my brother - it's one of his favourite songs. ...Truthfully, most songs I can think of remind me of OCs or other characters, not really people in the physical sense.

39: Talk about things you wish you'd known earlier.How to change a flat tire, how to jumpstart a dead car, how to properly talk to your boss, to how get the most out of a doctor's appointment, how to ask for a second opinion, how to know when people are flirting (still need to know this one, truthfully)...

40: Talk about the end of something in your life.About seventeen months ago, I gave up almost all of my possessions, packed what I could into my car, moved fifteen hours away from where I had been living, found a new place to live within three days and then started a new job within a week and a half of leaving my old one. It was a whirlwind and it took me over a year to finally feel settled in my new residence.

[cassbeewrites]

1-100 also im personally Offended that u will not let me be gay binch and tag u 85 times........ im requesting a divorce

oh boy okay fuck u 

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? 

pandora does that make me basic

is your room messy or clean?i’m a minimalist with hoarder tendencies. 

what color are your eyes?kind of like a hazel-green

do you like your name? why?i used to hate it but now that i’m older it kind of ? distinguishes me? plus i love the nickname cass so there

what is your relationship status? married 2 u elm, always

describe your personality in 3 words or lessobsessive, destructive, gay

what color hair do you have?light brown but it actually used to be red when i was born! god i miss those days… being an infant, having cute hair….

what kind of car do you drive? color?i have a 2013 subaru impreza hatchback. it’s a rly pretty dark grey with purple undertones and a skeletor decal on the back. literally i love my car 

where do you shop?target. jo-anns. teavana. 

how would you describe your style?i like earth-tones or dark muted colors 

favorite social media accountfacebook?? it’s where i run my cosplay page idk

what size bed do you have? twin 

any siblings?i have one sister but i also have 2 half-sisters and possibly 2 half-brothers who i’ve never actually…. met…..

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?wales. research them arthurian legends. love some pet sheep.

favorite snapchat filter? i rarely take pics of my face so idk maybe the flower crown one?? is that still a thing

favorite makeup brand(s)neutrogena or almay bc they’re hypoallergenic lmao

how many times a week do you shower?realistically, 5-6. ideally……. i would never leave the shower……

favorite tv show?fuck this question i don’t want to think about it

shoe size?9-9.5-10 depending

how tall are you?5′6

sandals or sneakers? mmmmm i do love my hiking shoes but i also love sandals so? both

do you go to the gym? nah my dad is a fitness nut so we literally have like 6 or 7 types of exercise equipment at my house

describe your dream datedying

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?$6 in ones. i handle too much cash during the day to want to keep it in my wallet. 

what color socks are you wearing? …. i’m not

how many pillows do you sleep with?just one

do you have a job? what do you do? i’m a teller at a credit union. i count cash until my fingers are literally black from how gross bills are

how many friends do you have? 0i have like? elma. also a few of my coworkers and some cosplay friends

whats the worst thing you have ever done? be born lol. start writing. learn how to sew. 

whats your favorite candle scent? fresh linen

3 favorite boy names1. Loren2. Liam3. Mothman

3 favorite girl names1. Eowyn2. Ruby (don’t judge me my dog is CUTE)3. Mothman 

favorite actor? leslie odom jr

favorite actress? phillipa soo my gf

who is your celebrity crush?………. leslie odom jr and phillipa soo my gf

favorite movie? right now it’s moana but i love tangled and lotr, unwaveringly 

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? i can’t pick a favorite fuck off

money or brains? ?!?!?!?!

do you have a nickname? what is it? cass, sass, sarcassidy, sketch, 

how many times have you been to the hospital?like twice maybe

top 10 favorite songsjesus christ ok. okay1. Hot Gates by Mumford and Sons2. Whispers by Passenger3. Above / Below by Birds of Tokyo4. Minor War by Birds of Tokyo5. If This Ship Sinks (I give in) also by….. Birds of Tokyo6. I’ll Be Good by Jaymes Young7. Tag! by Scarves8. Despite What You’ve Been Told by Two Gallants9. Young God by Halsey10. Wildflowers by Tom Petty

do you take any medications daily? i’m on that nightly melatonin fix

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)clear. blessedly clear. 

what is your biggest fear? never being someone worth remembering :)))

how many kids do you want? 1. MAYBE 2. or maybe 0? 

whats your go to hair style?Half up, half down. I’m lame

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) my house is actually… pretty big? it’s like. very upper middle class

who is your role model? my old debate coach from high school :’)

what was the last compliment you received?idk elma what was the last gay thing u sent me

what was the last text you sent?“thank u for providing”

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?i had my suspicions as early as 5 but honestly. my mom tells me i have to believe in him for the sake of our dogs because she wants to maintain the illusion that he’s real… for them…. she’s so weird

what is your dream car? actually i’m pretty happy with the car i have. the 2017 imprezas are WAY cute and nice and sporty tho and i would love to upgrade someday 

opinion on smoking?smells yucky. makes our drive through tubes & cash smell yucky.

do you go to college? yes but i am TIRED

what is your dream job?DYING! DEATH AND DYING! being a literary agent actually tho

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? well i actually grew up in a pretty rural area but it was also only like… 15 minutes from a big city and is surrounded by smaller cities. it’s not a bad place to live. very safe and quiet, lots of horses

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? no i have a hair Routine and cannot break it

do you have freckles? no :( I have a few and i have some cute moles tho

do you smile for pictures?no go away

how many pictures do you have on your phone?jesus christ 9,564

have you ever peed in the woods? reluctantly 

do you still watch cartoons? i watch disney movies but like? i think cartoon fandoms are VERY annoying so i avoid them at all costs COUGH stev///en univ//erse

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?chick fil a or die. but i wouldn’t turn down wendy’s or mcdonalds nugs u feel

Favorite dipping sauce?honey mustard fuck me up. chick fil a sauce got me goin too

what do you wear to bed? big shirts!!!

have you ever won a spelling bee?um no i tried bc i’ve always been a spelling hoe and the written portion went well but the speaking portion was an anxiety ridden mess

what are your hobbies?dying. sewing. suffering. cosplay. petting dogs. hiking. being dead. writing

can you draw? i used to draw a lot but fucking jill heiner in 11th grade told me i sucked and i will never forget that

do you play an instrument?i played piano for 12 years and i was never like naturally gifted but i certainly tried my hardest. i haven’t played since i graduated high school 2 years ago tho

what was the last concert you saw? i’ve never been to a concert and may never go

tea or coffee?both but like. there’s a time and a place for both

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?starbucks

do you want to get married?i fear physical relationships 

what is your crush’s first and last initial?V(iktor)N(ikiforov)

are you going to change your last name when you get married? no i’m attached to my initials 

what color looks best on you? greens and dark purples

do you miss anyone right now? my dog :( he’s sleeping in the hall and not in my room

do you sleep with your door open or closed?closed unless my parents are out of town so my dogs can sleep with me

do you believe in ghosts?i believe in mothman

what is your biggest pet peeve? when people acknowledge my physical existence as if i am more than just a semi-transparent blob. also when people call their checking account a “checkings” account. fuck right off it’s not plural and checkings isn’t a word FUCK YOU

last person you called`my mom 

favorite ice cream flavor? pistachio

regular oreos or golden oreos? um if i’m going to spend calories on a cookie it sure won’t be some kind of… prepackaged nonsense

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? rainbow 

what shirt are you wearing? wearin a loose knit dress. it’s olive and strappy

what is your phone background?pic of my sweet dog :’)))

are you outgoing or shy?easily irritated and anxious

do you like it when people play with your hair?no

do you like your neighbors? they are what they are

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?i wash it in the shower but if i wash it too much it will dry out

have you ever been high? no

have you ever been drunk? no

last thing you ate? i had a steak burrito for lunch?? that was like 10 hours ago i should probably eat something else

favorite lyrics right now“all i need’s a whisper in a world that only shouts”or“in a place that’s safe from harm, but i have been blessed with a wilder mind”

summer or winter?why aren’t autumn or spring options

day or night? dusk

dark, milk, or white chocolate? dark

favorite month? october or may

what is your zodiac signtaurus lol

who was the last person you cried in front of? i actually cannot remember 

[dilmilapp]

Boys & Breakups: Part 2 of 3

We were walking along Wacker Drive on a sunny, humid evening common during Chicago summers.

He looks over at me,

“You know what applies to you?”

“What?”

“This quote, ‘Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman’”

I laugh and squeeze his hand,

“That sounds about right.”

Years later I googled that quote to find that it was by Oscar Wilde – I had assumed it was by Tina Fey because what brilliant witticism isn’t?

I met boyfriend #2 in college, we’d been acquaintances who’d chat at the occasional party or student org fair. My last year of college our paths crossed more than usual due to the various projects we were involved in on campus.

That Spring following graduation, he approached me for some marketing help surrounding an app he had developed. We’d meet once a week to talk strategy and software updates he was planning. There was no doubt he was charming – he was surprisingly single all through college to the dismay of many. At 6 feet tall, intelligent, handsome, empathetic, and most of all, interesting, he got a lot of attention around campus. To me he was only a friend, mainly due to me being oblivious to men plus the fact that I had recently gotten out of a relationship.

He was the first man to ever ask me out on a date in person. A sucker for romance, he approached me during his birthday party and told me to find him that night at midnight. Sharp.

I smirked and agreed – being a few beers in I didn’t really make the connection.

At 11:45 p.m he tapped me on the shoulder and said with a smile,

“Remember, midnight.”

I saw that he was headed towards the bar so I kept one eye on him and one eye on my watch. 10 minutes later I approached him and he asked me what I’d like to drink. “Gin and tonic”, I replied.

Eyeing him curiously, I mentioned that it was basically midnight. He hesitated and turned towards me,

“I can’t work with you anymore.”

Taken aback, I fired back, “Are you firing me from your project? …at a bar? I wasn’t even being paid!”

“No no no no!”, he backpedaled, “I…that didn’t come out right.”

He took a deep breath, “What I meant is that, I can’t work with you any longer as friends. I’d like to take you out for dinner sometime – not as friends.”

At a loss for words (probably for the first time ever), I began smiling like an idiot.

“I’d really like that. Yes! It’s a date.”

I grabbed my gin and tonic, lightly hugged him, and whispered, “That was really sweet” before I walked back towards my friends.

One week later, he took me to dinner at an Ethiopian restaurant on the north side of Chicago. To date, it was the most romantic dinner I’ve ever had – there was conversation, smiling, touching, and best of all, a beach nearby to stroll around after dinner. The lack of homeless people and his deep voice made that the most memorable beach stroll of my life.

21-year-old me was smitten. 24-year-old me can’t believe that’s all it took. Don’t get me wrong, romance is wonderful – it’s just that my definition of it has vastly changed over the years.

Boyfriend #2 was a rockstar at the whole romance thing, our second date was a scavenger hunt. More accurately, it was a 3 page document he had burned at the edges to look like an ancient scroll. The GPS coordinate clues were written in poem form and rhymed so I could follow along his poem while also discover where date #2 was.

It took me 30 minutes, I followed the clues to a tucked away riverfront café where I found him coolly sitting at a table in his blue dress shirt. That night still feels surreal – our dinner ended in watching fireworks over Navy Pier for god’s sake.

Let’s push forward a few months, past the daily phone calls and constant (but not annoying) affection - we were happy, quickly exclusive, in sync, in love, everything. Shit was good. I had blatantly admitted to him that I was still getting over my ex and he surprisingly accepted that – in hindsight, never start a relationship if this is the case. Trust me on this.

Within the next year, we both landed jobs on the west coast and ended up moving to the same city by pure chance. Long distance never scared us but because we literally just got lucky with our job placements it was something we didn’t have to worry about for more than a few months.

Before I left for Seattle, I told my parents about him. Largely because I wanted to make it clear that I wasn’t moving across the country for a boy – the job opportunity I had was just too interesting to pass up. To my surprise, my parents not only accepted the fact that I was seeing him but they embraced it.

He became the first and only boyfriend to this day to have ever met my parents, and for that I’ll always be thankful – largely because if my parents happened to meet any of the doofuses I dated afterwards, well, let’s just say no one would take me seriously.

Once in Seattle, we quickly settled into a routine. 

Eating dinner together on the weekdays and doing work on our laptops on weekends. I’d spend time at his apartment every other day and he’d venture to my neighborhood every other day. Staying in and taking walks as leisure activities.

This is great…when you’re 60. When you’re in your twenties in a new city sitting around with a boy 24/7 isn’t my idea of a good time– I wanted to explore dive bars, weird vegan restaurants, and understand recreational...plants.

However, I stayed. I mean, he’d compliment me on the daily, support me, whisper sweet poems all the time. I should have loved it, instead I’d respond with wry jokes that clearly only I found hilarious. Our senses of humor were clearly out of sync – either that or I’m actually just an asshole.

(For context, he once expressed how he felt in the most poetic way and I responded with “Yo that was dank.”)

As usual, I listened to my heart and not my gut. I didn’t do anything about it, I believed that this is what a content relationship felt like. After all, I was loved, respected, and felt appreciated at all times – nothing was technically wrong.

Months went by, we remained happy – but every now and then that little pebble of a thought would sneak in and ask, “Are you sure you’re happy?”

I’d brush it away and chalk it up to not knowing what I was talking about.

Listen up. Here’s the part where I learned that it isn’t your first breakup that’s the toughest, it’s your second.

Once you’ve gone through one breakup you always vow that you never want to go through that again, so when your second relationship presents problems it’s easier to try and quell them instead of confronting the possibility of another breakup.

My lack of dating experience plus the fact that this relationship was better than my first made me assume that this is how all happy relationships truly felt.

Months passed, we planned trips to Hawaii and Ethiopia – it seemed great from the surface. We usually had a blast together but when it came to experiencing new places and people, I discovered that our seams began to stretch more than usual. Our ideas of bonding and adventure weren’t on the same spectrum

Beach vacation? He wanted long, romantic walks on the beach. I wanted to explore hiking trails.

International trip? He wanted to dine in at large, comfortable restaurants. I wanted to find the local bar with a live band.

Travel companions? He wanted to maintain deep conversations all night. I wanted to do karaoke and jello shots.

During one of our trips together, him and I had the largest (and most millennial) fight I’ve ever had, the reason? A Snapchat filter.

Yes. There was that much pressure mounting that an ‘Oahu’ Snapchat filter set me off like a manic time bomb.

Traveling through Ethiopia a few months later was a long awaited adventure - it also became the final nail in the coffin. A year and a half into dating, we had the thrilling ‘future’ talk. 

He saw himself, without a doubt, moving back to Ethiopia where his family was. I saw myself staying in the United States where my family, high speed internet, and Cheetos were.

The trip ended a week later. We came back to Seattle. Weeks passed. Hands were no longer held. Hugs were no longer given. My phone became strangely inactive.

I listened to my gut approximately one year ago today and decided to confront him. Walking over to his apartment, I rehearsed exactly what I wanted to say. It should be delicate, but forward. Stern but loving. What came out instead was a jumbled sentence of emotion.

“What’s going on? Don’t think I don’t notice how we’re weirdly distanced.”

Calling it the most friendly and amicable breakup I’ll probably ever experience is an understatement. That’s the thing about dating a friend and a severe romantic – they’re respectful until the very end.

Sitting on his kitchen bar stools we held hands, cried, and quietly whispered to each other how much we appreciated each other. I finally revealed how I thought we were really just better off without one another right now.

We ended that conversation with him saying,

“Hey, if we’re 30 and both single – let’s do this again?”

I smiled as I put my jacket on and replied,

“I’ll think about it.”

I walked back home and cried myself to sleep for a week straight.

Him and I remain great friends to this day. A year and a half of dating didn’t spoil our friendship and if anything, we’ve stayed close and still confide in each other. Realizing that romance shouldn’t be the foundation of relationship was a wake-up call – friendship always should be.

Since then I’ve also gotten more curious about that damn Oscar Wilde quote, apparently, I was only told half of it.

Fittingly, the full quote reads:

“Women have become too brilliant. Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humor of in a woman.”

It was April 2016. I was 2 heartbreaks down, 1 to go.

By Rani Shah

[pamiverson]

2017-03-20 Worst moments of my Peace Corps experience

It’s not all been a bed of roses.  Probably not the best comparison, because I don’t think I’ve seen a bed of roses anywhere in South Africa.  So it’s not all hillsides of protea…

13.  Lost, very lost luggage.  We went to Rwanda, but our luggage didn’t.  This was Tuesday.  Because both of our bags were missing, we didn’t think they had been stolen.  The tour company kept pestering the airlines about it, and said they would bring our bags to us as soon as they were found. So when we were getting ready to leave the country the following Monday, we checked again, and they said it was coming on the plane that would then take us back to South Africa.  We talked to someone who promised the bags would stay on the plane and leave with us.  Wrong… Poor Greg spent hours on the phone over several days trying to find out where it was (we had a print-out that showed the bags had gone back and forth between Johannesburg and Nairobi a couple of times.)  Finally someone assured us they had been in Kigali, but were being placed on a plane to Johannesburg and would arrive at midnight.  But at 6:00, well after the flight would have left, the tour company operator what’s apped us to say he had our bags.  So again the phone calls and the waiting game continued…  We finally decided we had to leave Pretoria on Saturday, so Friday was our last hope.  Someone from the airlines assured us our bags would be put on the next flight.  About 45 minutes later we got a call from Johannesburg airport baggage saying they had our luggage.  I will be forever grateful (because I had twisted my foot since I didn’t have my hiking boots) that Peace Corps authorized one of their drivers to take us to the airport.  He knew exactly where to go to get them – I guess we weren’t the first.  We were so happy to see them!!  They were wrapped in plastic, but we don’t think it was the same plastic they wrapped them in when we turned them over in Jo’burg the first time. Everything was there, a bit more wrinkled, perhaps, but so were we.  So much better than thinking about what we needed to replace, especially the valuable things like extra glasses, my night guard, and a spare set of house keys.

12. My first language test.  I don’t know why I got so anxious, maybe because I haven’t had to take a test for awhile.  At the practice test, I was literally shaking.  Not much better at the real test.  I passed it on the second try, three months later.  We got tested at our Close of Service Conference, and I was grateful to have remained at the same level.  It didn’t help that I needed to use my hands to explain the difference between izintaba (mountains) in KZN, my home in America, and Lesotho.  I might have tried harder to master the language if it was a language, such as Spanish, that I might have an opportunity to use later.

11. Cramped taxi/other vehicle rides.  In the interest of togetherness, I think, a taxi driver insisted Greg and I both sit in the front seat of his truck.  We were both pretty uncomfortable.  Sharing one seat in the org’s truck with a very large woman was even worse.  Worst of all was a long-distance taxi trip where I had practically no leg room and my pack on my lap.  I almost swore off traveling after that trip.  And Greg, being that much bigger, would put such trips much higher on his list of worst moments…

10.  Being at a Bible-based training where everyone was asked to share about when they were saved and how their relationship with God and Jesus enhances their lives.  Those are not words I use to describe my spiritual journey.  Such a sense of dread, how to talk about my faith, how to be respectful of our differences.  But I think my supervisor had talked to the facilitators already, because they smoothly passed by her and me.  I respect her for passing on an opportunity to witness her faith to accommodate me.  Thank you.

9.  The first time we hiked up the big mountain across from my org.  Churches were holding a prayer service at the top of the mountain, and I thought everyone was climbing up.  When we got up part-way, we could hear singing, and I thought we were late.  I was not in great shape, but was pushing myself to get there.  I ended up wheezing and needing to rest awhile.  I’ve never wheezed before or since.  It turned out that most people, including my supervisor and the minister who invited me, drove to the top.  And since then, I have made it to the top uneventfully.

8.  Losing my phone – twice.   Both times I was in a hurry to get out of a vehicle and then unfocused as I was getting out.  The most recent time, I was aware I didn’t have my phone just a few steps away from my supervisor’s car.  I may have been distracted by the men at the outdoor restaurant (just to say hi), but I can’t remember if anyone was closer to me who could have gotten it out of my pocket then.  I thought it was secure there – a safety pin closed the opening.    I have feelings of vulnerability and distrust, which I don’t like. Especially when I discovered they had gotten into my phone and changed my G-mail password.  Fortunately my supervisor was going to Pietermaritzburg a day later so we could get a ride to the mall.  And folks at the two Vodacom stores we had to go to were very helpful. And best of all – it looks like nothing further was done with my phone besides the G-mail.  I got a cheaper phone this time, though, and I am not as happy with its camera (as the man predicted, but seemed like too much to pay again.)  

7. Being sick while camping – twice.  There’s nothing much worse than having an intestinal bug when you are sleeping in a tent and the restrooms (or ablutions as they call them here) are a distance away. Enough said…  

6 The morning the alarm went off and Greg did not respond.  He usually jumps right out of bed, so when he didn’t, I immediately started shaking him, and he quickly responded.  It’s amazing, though, the thoughts that can quickly pass through one’s head in that second or two.  I wanted his hearing tested, but the Peace Corps doctor suspected one ear, the one on top as he slept that morning, had significant wax build-up.  The doctor was right.

5.  Thinking I had skin cancer.  With my genetics and history of burning and peeling repeatedly every summer of my Southern California childhood, skin cancer is probably inevitable.  I had a mole removed before I was 50 – it was benign.  But someday… One of my biggest concerns when I found an unusual spot on my face was the inconvenience of having to deal with this now – I don’t know Peace Corps protocols.  It would be easier if I was home, with a more settled life, ongoing, easily-accessible health care, flexible plans, friends close by.  But who gets to choose when a health concern happens?  It was a good reminder that I am not immortal, and that I could face that reality at any time.  I wish I could say that I stopped any superfluous activities, that I have only done meaningful things since then.  But I would be lying….  Oh, and the local doctor gave me antibiotics and creams for viruses and fungal infections. The Peace Corps doctor said it was a bug bite and scarring because I scratched it.  Whew!  

4.  Eggplant leaf poisoning.  We didn’t know what it was – being dizzy, totally unfocused, awkward, unbalanced, foggy-headed.  After the second time, we connected it to greens from our garden – Greg had used a variety of greens from our garden in a salad.  After that, I refused to eat greens unless they had been cooked.  We and others could not figure out how something poisonous could have been put on the garden.   It was only after we came back from our trip to the States that we saw one of the plants Greg had harvested was starting to produce eggplants. A quick check of Google confirmed that eggplant leaves are poisonous.   We do a better job of labeling plants now.  

3. Spider bite. This one almost put me in the hospital. Lessons learned:  when something on your body looks strange, don’t wait for it to get bad. Contact |Peace Corps – they can send you to a local doctor or even prescribe medications based on what you tell them.  A couple of months ago, I actually got another bite, under my wedding band, and it started to swell and get the dark circle in the middle characteristic of a spider or tick bite.  But a couple of days of putting antibiotic ointment on it (and not wearing my ring – sigh…) and it healed up.  For that I am very thankful.

2.  Seeing Baby N. for the first time.  He was a very small 13-month-old, with obvious delays, and I didn’t know the indicators at the time, also evidence of serious malnutrition.  He lived with his elderly grandmother and his mother, who was so spaced out then, due to her glue sniffing.  Baby N. stayed in his grandmother’s lap except when he crawled awkwardly to his mom to nurse.  She barely registered that he was there.  His grandmother wanted to help him, but was afraid of her daughter, who had beat her up to get Baby’s N.’s child support money, which she then used to buy drugs. Mom is HIV+.  When we (another staff member and I) reported back to my supervisor, she immediately went into action mode:  “We need to get him tested for HIV and connect him with the Nutritionist at the hospital…”  I came home and told Greg that I didn’t think I could do this work.  I felt so sad and overwhelmed – my supervisor’s reaction suggested to me that many children live in difficult situations like Baby N, no time for sadness, just do what’s needed.  I was relieved when at devotions the next morning, the man I went with was also feeling such sorrow for this little boy.  I was reassured that my reaction was appropriate.  And the good news:  Baby N. was not HIV+.  He stayed at our facility for several months, and with more nourishment and stimulation, he was progressing well.   An aunt stepped forward to take him into her home (that’s a wonderful thing about Zulu culture – the idea of family is broad, and people feel a sense of responsibility for children), and reported he is now running and laughing.  I am so grateful.    

1. Fearing I had some thyroid cancer.  A local doctor noted the lump on the side of my neck, which I was unaware of.  That was in November.  I have had full thyroid blood work, three ultrasounds, two sets of biopsies since then. And finally conclusive results last Friday.  Right now I can say the samples they took were good and they showed no cancer. (But it could be like the worm on the other side of the apple – you may not check the right place.)  I will need it monitored, and with the cyst that has formed, surgery is indicated.  How extensive the surgery will be needs to be decided by the next doctors in the States that I see.  We were able to continue with completion of service and travelling after close of service. As Greg said afterwards, “I thought maybe we would have to change our plans for our lives for the next year or two.” (His positivity and support are among the many qualities that I love about him.)

And in a class of its own:  Missing the grandkids.

[a-lbeit]

151 questions

sorry i’m trash and i like talking about myself

Who was the last person you held hands with? my aunt last night when she slipped me money lmfao

Are you outgoing or shy? shy but i’ve become much more outgoing than i used to be

Who are you looking forward to seeing? rozi and blake!!!!! i just wanna be back in california

Are you easy to get along with? i hope so; i like to think i’m pretty laid back

If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? 100%

What kind of people are you attracted to? kind and genuine people

Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? i am always hoping for that

Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? ,,,,,,blake 

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? with certain people, but not with my friends

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? probably rozi or maybe my dad lmfao

What does the most recent text that you sent say? "i think it’s pretty self explanatory” in reference to me saying i think i have a hemorrhoid LMFAO

What are your 5 favorite songs right now? -- “the greatest,” lana del rey -- “hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me, but i have it,” lana del rey --“after the storm,” mumford and sons --“leader of the landslide,” the lumineers --“darkness on the edge of town,” springsteen i’m just sad girl trash rn

Do you like it when people play with your hair? nah

Do you believe in luck and miracles? yes bc i’ve been so goddamn lucky to have met the people i’ve met 

What good thing happened this summer? i got to work at the bookstore and the deli and visit lauren and ciaran in new york and do some real nice hikes in the smokies and took a goddamn train across the country and got to know some real nice people thanks to my job at disneyland 

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? yeah probably but i don’t really care either way

Do you think there is life on other planets? of course

Do you still talk to your first crush? lol i never even talked to him when i had a crush on him

Do you like bubble baths? i’m not really a bath person

Do you like your neighbors? yeah they’re okay i guess, don’t really know them that well

What are you bad habits? sometimes i be gettin into a funk; i’m bad at distinguishing the line between friendly and flirty; i’m not confrontational; i’m bad at eating well; i get embarrassed too easily

Where would you like to visit? egypt, western canada, montana, russia, argentina, morocco, other places

Do you have trust issues? doesn’t everyone?

Favorite part of your daily routine? don’t have much of a routine at the moment bc i have a broke ass ankle but eating and reading and checking my notifications in the morning lmfao

What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? my stomach probably but i have issues with a lot of parts

What do you do when you wake up? lie in bed for like 2 hours on my phone

Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? i’m fine with whatever

Who are you most comfortable around? probably lauren or rozi 

Have any of your exes told you they regret breaking up? lol i don’t have an ex

Do you ever want to get married? maybe

Is your hair long enough for a ponytail? yeah

Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? i dunno but oscar isaac is hot as fuck

Spell your name with your chin. no

Do you play sports? What sports? not right now lmfao but i played tennis for a long time

Would you rather live without TV or music? tv 

Have you ever liked someone and never told them? obviously lmfao

What do you say during awkward silences? nothing i just try to think of something to ask them

Describe your dream girl/guy. kind, genuine, taller than me, feminist, love of the environment, ambitious 

What are your favorite stores to shop in? forever 21 tbh and i guess maybe asos or h&m. also walmart LMFAO

What do you want to do after high school? well right now i wanna get my graduate degree while working at disneyland and then i wanna join the peace corps and then i wanna work for the nps

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? yeah probably

If you’re being extremely quiet, what does it mean? i don’t know what to say, i’m uncomfortable, or i’m jus chillin

Do you smile at strangers? nah not usually, maybe if we’re like in each other’s way or something

Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? neither goddamn

What makes you get out of bed in the morning? bathroom lol and i start to feel gross after lying in bed for a while

What are you paranoid about? being financially stable and about being vulnerable to people

Have you ever been high? nah

Have you ever been drunk? yeah

Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?  not really 

What was the color of the last hoodie you wore? i haven’t worn a hoodie in a long ass time but probably grey 

Ever wished you were someone else? nah i just sometimes wish i looked different and had more money

One thing you wish you could change about yourself? stomach and broken ankle 

Favorite makeup brand? don’t have one bc i never wear makeup lol

Favorite store? what i listed earlier

Favorite blog? no thanks

Favorite color? don’t have one

Favorite food? burrito bowls from qdoba lmfao

Last thing you ate? chocolate

First thing you ate this morning? ham and cheese sammy and an apple

Ever won a competition? For what? probably at some point

Been suspended/expelled? For what? nah

Been arrested? For what? nah

Ever been in love? no

Tell us the story of your first kiss. my old coworker who lives in la now wanted to hook up so when i first flew into anaheim a couple months ago, he drove over to my airbnb and we were watching the office and the episode finished and i was like should we start another one and he was like yeah or i could kiss you. so we did. it was strange but nice i think. then we made out and had sex lmfao i really went 0 to 100 in one evening

Are you hungry right now? nah

Do you like your Tumblr friends more than your real friends? i don’t know people on tumblr unless i know them in real life

Facebook or Twitter? facebook

Twitter or Tumblr? tumblr

Are you watching tv right now? nah

Names of your best friends? i have several, among which are probably lauren, rozi, melissa, brandon, ben, katie, nicole, estevan, and potentially blake

Craving something? What? california

What color are your towels? orange ish i think

How many pillows do you sleep with? one but my ankle is also on one

Do you sleep with stuffed animals? lmfao right now yes

How many stuffed animals do you think you have? i have so many from my childhood, but probably like 15 in my room

Favorite animal? koala

What color is your underwear? skin colored lmfao

Chocolate or vanilla? swirl

Favorite ice cream flavor? probably neapolitan or like ben and jerry’s half baked

What color shirt are you wearing? blue american university library t shirt

What color pants? black shorts

Favorite tv show? probably new amsterdam and superstore and brooklyn nine nine

Favorite movie? inside llewyn davis and the descendants probably

Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? honestly i don’t like mean girls

Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? 21 jump street

Favorite character from Mean Girls? no

Favorite character from Finding Nemo? i don’t care

First person you talked to today? my mom 

Last person you talked to today? rozi by text, father in person 

Name a person you hate. me bitch

Name a person you love. lauren!

Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? nah

In a fight with someone? nah

How many pairs of sweatpants do you have? none

How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? probably like 4 sweaters and 2 hoodies

Last movie you watched? echo in the canyon

Favorite actress? probably frances mcdormand

Favorite actor? oscar isaac

Do you tan a lot? yeah

Have any pets? a cat

How are you feeling? forlorn about california literally all the time

Do you type fast? kind of 

Do you regret anything from your past? not doing enough in the month i was in california before i broke my ankle!!!! i’ll be back tho

Can you spell well? yeah

Do you miss anyone from your past? of course!

Ever been to a bonfire party? probably

Ever broken someone’s heart? nah

Have you ever been on a horse? yeah

What should you be doing? nothin, i’m chillin, tryna heal as soon as i can

Is something irritating you right now? my inability to walk

Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? mmm i don’t think so

Do you have trust issues? i still have trust issues since the last time this was asked, yes

Who was the last person you cried in front of? lol i teared up in front of rozi, lyndsay, and britt, but i CRIED in front of blake lmfao. oh wait i was cryin on the plane but i don’t think anyone was really looking at me

What was your childhood nickname? idk i don’t think i had one

Have you ever been out of your province/state? hell yeah

Do you play the Wii? i used to but i haven’t for years

Are you listening to music right now? yeah i’m listening to my new year’s eve playlist from 2 years ago lmfao

Do you like chicken noodle soup? ya

Do you like Chinese food? i’m very specific about it

Favorite book? probably wild 

Are you afraid of the dark? yeah

Are you mean? not usually

Is cheating ever okay? no

Can you keep white shoes clean? for a minute

Do you believe in love at first sight? no

Do you believe in true love? i think so

Are you currently bored? no

What makes you happy? my friends and being financially stable 

Would you change your name? probably not

What your zodiac sign? leo

Do you like subway? yum i stan a good steak and pepper jack on italian herbs and cheese

Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? feel flattered

Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? redundant

Favorite lyrics right now? "i miss long beach and i miss you” and “it will steal your innocence but it will not steal your substance”

Can you count to one million? no

Dumbest lie you ever told? i don’t know, i’ve told a lot

Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? closed

How tall are you? i always say 5′3″

Curly or straight hair? wavy

Brunette or blonde? brunette

Summer or winter? winter

Night or day? depends on my mood

Favorite month? december and also maybe september

Are you a vegetarian? lol no

Dark, milk, or white chocolate? milk

Tea or coffee? coffee

Was today a good day? it was okay. i talked to rozi for like an hour and a half on the phone so that was nice

Mars or Snickers? snickers

What’s your favorite quote? i have a lot but i’ve always loved “what is that feeling when you're driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? -- it's the too-huge world vaulting us, and it's good-by. but we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies.”

Do you believe in ghosts? probably

Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42--what’s the first line on that page? the first complete sentence is “he was not sickly or weak but he did not lift very well; he rode horses badly and detested them” from east of eden

[argotmagazine-blog]

Dear Worrier Princess: Exes, Exes Everywhere

Dear Worrier Princess is a queer advice column based off The Ex-Girlfriend of My Ex-Girlfriend Is My Girlfriend, the viral queer advice zine by Maddy Court (a.k.a @xenaworrierprincess on Instagram).

In her inaugural column for Argot, Maddy considers heartbreak and queer love in the age of Instagram. How do you find closure and space when your ex is constantly popping up on your feed? What does it mean to emotionally block someone? Why are queer women so determined to stay friends, and how does this cultural tic translate to the internet?

 Queery #1: I went through this really brutal breakup a little over a year ago (my first love cheated on me and dumped me in a phone call from her new girl’s apartment). This was really rough on my psyche and I spent a lot of time dwelling on her/insta-stalking her/going to therapy about her. I thought all of that would end when I got a new girlfriend, but I am now several months into a new relationship (with someone I LOVE who is WONDERFUL TO ME) and I still catch myself thinking about my ex and checking up on her social media. I don’t want her back, but I crave her approval and her interest so much and I don’t know how to turn it off and move on! Help!

 Heartbreak in the age of Instagram is unreasonably cruel. The human brain can barely distinguish between cold and wet sensations. It can’t register the coolest kinds of light, or maintain relationships with more than 200 people at once. It’s not equipped to process that the woman who broke your heart via a phone call from her new girl’s apartment is creating a multimedia, real-time documentary about her life and it’s available 24/7, for free, from literally anywhere.  In 1990 or whatever, people divvied up their CDs and lost touch. They ripped up photographs. The sad and brokenhearted could scab over, forget the sound of their ex’s laugh, buy some chunky necklaces and move on. Today, physical space isn’t enough to heal from a break-up. You must unlearn the muscle memory and masochism that compels you to check your ex’s social media. On top of that, you’re contending with algorithms that track your every click and position your ex-girlfriend at the top of your feed.  You cannot rip up your ex’s Instagram.

There’s also the fact that queer communities are insular, online and off. Queer women, especially, place a huge premium on staying friends, on keeping some semblance of solidarity and peace throughout a breakup. Use this to your advantage. When you feel rejected or overlooked, throwing your own party is a powerful experience. Flood your Instagram with golden hour selfies, nature shots of you hiking with a three-legged rescue dog, and artfully arranged photobooth print-outs that scream, I HAVE SO MANY HOT ZANY FRIENDS AND THEY ALL WANNA BE CLOSE TO ME IN THIS TINY SPACE. By projecting that you don’t care about your ex, you might tap into some genuine, unburdened energy.

 Like Doritos for dinner, checking your ex-girlfriend’s Instagram is instant gratification. Try leaving your phone at home. You can start small: a bike ride, trip to the grocery store, or dinner with friends. Pay attention to when you feel the urge to open Instagram. What’s your emotional state? Is it when you’re bored and waiting in line? Is it when you’re alone and is seems that everyone except you showed up to the park with a picnic blanket of friends? Maybe you’ll find that you feel neutral, and checking her Instagram is just an old habit.

 I know this is all very mindfulness-from-a-can. It really works though, I promise. Also, stash your phone across the room when you go to bed. This helps avoid late night/early morning Instagram sinkholes. Make a tally every time you go 6 hours without looking at her stuff and see how long you last.

 The obvious solution is to just block her, but blocking is political and invites confrontation. There are too many workarounds. Instead, re-think blocking as a ritual. Using a pen and paper, make a list of all the times your ex-girlfriend was crass and thoughtless with your heart. What red flags, boundaries, and lessons did she teach you? If you’d never loved her, would you appreciate your current girlfriend in the same way? Put the list in a safe place in case you need to re-visit it. Then, wash all your bedding in hot water and wipe down your floors with vinegar. Center yourself and set an intention to disconnect emotionally from your ex-girlfriend. Her approval is worthless to you. Her likes and comments roll off of you like water off a duck’s back. Her Instagram is just another entity floating around, it no longer drains your emotional energy. She is emotionally blocked. This won’t happen overnight. It takes time. But it will get easier.

 Queery #2: My ex is a prominent member of my local queer scene and has a public presence across various arts practices. It annoys me that I see them all the time on social media - their own and others' - being both social and promoting their projects. It also annoys me that I am likely to run into them at any given event that I go to, especially because they are a social butterfly and I am an awkward shy girl liable to freeze at any given moment. Please offer your soundest advice for dealing with famous exes.

 When I meet someone new, I describe her hair to my friends. I notice the shirts she wears and try to discern which one is her favorite. I worry the entree I ordered was boring, the story I told was boring, my apartment was boring. I am a seagull pecking old bread and she is an actual star. But my girlfriends are most famous in that shady, painful patch when they’re becoming exes. I drift through Anthropologie, picking up candles and smelling them and sighing and putting them back. I call my friends at midnight. I dread running into her, but I also want to run into her. Why? Because every ex is a famous ex.

 It’s been said before, but it bears repeating: breakups would be much easier if your ex disappeared. But they don’t. They shop at the Target by your house. They post longform Instagram stories. They show up at your best friend’s barbecue with sweet corn. They’re here, they’re queer, they’re 100% going to the art show this weekend. All you can do is enlist friends to act as buffers and practice polite conversation-enders like “it was nice seeing you” or “I’m going to go look at the art now.”

 There’s also the matter that your ex is famous.  I’d be worried if your letter contained lingering admiration. I’m sensing that you no longer subscribe to your ex’s queer celebrity mystique and that’s healthy. You understand that having a big social media presence is a job, not a status. Like being a cruise director or a theatre person, it’s a skill-set that usually aligns with an extroverted personality. The next time you see your ex spilling across your feed, remind yourself that what you’re seeing is deliberate and a little fabricated.

 I’m going to end my response with some validation: the annoyance you feel is understandable—your ex approaches their life in a way that clashes and brushes up against your own. This doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with your ex, you’re just [essential] oil and water. Emotionally block them (see Queery 1 for a definition and instructions). Don’t wait. Call today.

 Are you in a pickle regarding your love life? Do you have a crush you can't figure out how to talk to, an ex you'd like to reconnect with but don't know if it's appropriate or the right time? 

Shoot an email to worrierprincess@argotmagazine.com or fill out the form below. 

Maddy Court is an artist and writer based in Madison, WI. Keep up with her on Twitter @worrierprincess, or on instagram @xenaworrierprincess.

[lazytacomoon-blog]

What is the best insurance for a new driver in nyc?

"What is the best insurance for a new driver in nyc?

I've been driving for 2 yrs now but got my license about 2 months ago. Im 21 and limited on cash.  I need a cheap auto insurance because driving right now is essential with the MTA fare hike.

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://salecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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passed my practical 2 weeks ago. im 18 end of feb and want to get a car....i dont mind paying up to 2500 insurance however, im not sure to what car will be cheaper. is automatic cheaper or more expensive than manual? please someone who actually knows let me know please :)""

Car Insurance 19 years old question?

I am planning on buying a car soon. I am 19 years old and I live with my parents. If the car is in my name, can the insurance be put in my parents name to make it cheaper? If not, what other options do I have? I've did some researching on quotes and I will have to pay like over $2000 every 6 months if its in my name but WAY less if its in theirs. All answers are appreciated.""

Primary and Secondary Health Insurance?

This has been a big complication for a few months, but back in October of 2008, I had a physical exam and my provider billed, what I assumed at the time, my primary insurance company (Horizon NJ Health). However, two years later, Horizon took back that money and my provider has been billing me for that physical back in 2008. I called Horizon and apparently they took back the money because I had another health insurance, and Horizon was no longer my primary. I had not known about my other health insurance company, Aetna student health care, since they never gave me any information or membership details, and I was automatically enrolled for it when I entered my university. When I contacted Aetna, they told me that they weren't the primary insurance company because they were just student health care. After several phone calls back and forth between Aetna and Horizon... I STILL haven't figured out who my primary insurance company is since they both claim to be the secondary insurance (and they seem to have endless reasons why the other is primary). I contacted my provider and asked them who they have listed as my primary, and they seem to be clueless about it too (when I spoke to the receptionist and asked, they kinda changed the topic). Is it possible to have two secondary insurance? If not, who should be my primary insurance? If Horizon is my primary, doesn't that mean they shouldn't have taken the money back for the physical exam?""

What is a fair mileage adjustment auto insurance Valuation?

The insurance company has gave me a list of 30 cars like mine within a 500 mile radius. They chose two cars out of the 30 to compare my car too. The problem is, there is a huge mileage difference: My car had 130k miles The comparables they used have 45k and 50k miles That's like an 80k difference. They took $2,265 off my ACV just for the difference. Is that fair? I don't get why they didn't just find a car with similar mileage to mine when there were plenty available. Why did they choose the two cars with the lowest mileage and then deduct 2 grand? When they could have easily picked two similar cars with at least 100k miles , and deducted a lot less for the difference.""

Will my car insurance rate rise if someone on my policy gets in an accident?

If I add someone onto my car insurance policy and that person gets in an accident, will my rate climb. If it does can I remove that person from my policy to keep my rate the same.""

How much do u spend for your car insurance a year?

I would like to compare the fares to german car insurances.. e.g. for a VW Polo or Ford Fiesta..

Health insurance for the self-employed?

Are there any AFFORDABLE health insurance plans out there that actually cover the basics? I'm currently paying $325/month and my policy won't even cover an annual exam, even after the $2500 deductible has been met. I'm in Wisconsin.""

Average insurance rate for a 2002 MR2 Toyota Spyder for a 21 year old?

What do you think will be the average rate and how does this compare to insurance rates of a normal car like a Toyota Corolla and sports cars like a Mustang?

How much would it cost to insure a used Aston Martin Vantage?

I have decided to get the Aston Martin Vantage (Used). it is around 34000. My salary is around 30,000 a year. I was wondering if insurance is expensive?""

How much would it typically cost to replace basically an entire front end of a car?

I was hit by a car shooting out of a drive way and it totaled my buick le sabre. I want to know so that i dont get jipped by his insurance.

How much is motorcycle insurance for a 15 and a half year old?

so ill be 15 and a half soon and I am getting my motorcycle permit. how much would insurance cost for me? i am getting a k7 gsxr600. no question about it.

Hemi engine insurance?????

will the fact that i am considering a dodge ram 1500 with a hemi make a difference in the insurance cost if there wasnt a hemi engine under the hood, the truck is a 4wd dodge 1500 slt with the big engine, i am currently in a v6 4wd 2000 ford explorer, how much will the rates change???""

Is Future Generali(Future group) insurance good?

Hi, I am planning to take a life insurance policy, can I go for Future group's new venture Future Generali or is it safe to go with LIC.Kindly suggest me on the basis of how good they're in Service, and claims. Thanks, Jagadish""

What is the best insurance for a new driver in nyc?

I've been driving for 2 yrs now but got my license about 2 months ago. Im 21 and limited on cash.  I need a cheap auto insurance because driving right now is essential with the MTA fare hike.

How much will insurance cost on a 94 eclipse?

I am an 18 year old first time driver. the car has 133000 miles on it and i'm thinking about buying it from a friend. it is white. how much will the insurance be monthly? roughly?

I'm looking for the lowest car insurance I can find?

nationwide offered me 200/monthly liability allstate 123.00/month esurance 89/month Any idea if I can find the next lower one?

""Where can I find good, inexpensive Life Insurance?""

Where can I find good, inexpensive Life Insurance?""

Will my insurance go up?

I got two speeding tickets not to long ago, they where 145 dollars each. On both of the tickets i was going 75 mph and speed limit was 60 mph. I already paid for the both tickets, they got reduced by 45 dollars each ticket. I was wondering by how much will my insurance go up and when does it go up. Its my dad insurance and he has my car on his insurance. Will the insurance go up only on my car or both of the cars on same insurance and is there any way you can take those tickets of the record. Like traffic schools..""

Autoplan insurance in Vancouver?

Hi everyone, i am new to British Columbia and i will be living in canada for a very long time. I wanna ask you guys a question that suppose i have a driving license here ( N ) and i own a car under 20,000 dollars ( not included tax ). Then, how much do you think i have to pay for just the basic car insurance and the tax ? Thank you very much Best wishes to you guys and your family""

""If I get my driver's permit in Michigan, will my parent's insurance go up?""

I'm 15 years old and my mother is hesitant to let me learn to drive, however I finally convinced her. :) She said I can't get my license though because it will drive her insurance way up. She will let me get my permit though if that doesn't have an effect on her insurance cost. I looked online a little bit and some people have said a permit will alter the cost, but other say that only a licence will. So basically, will getting a permit (not licence) drive up insurance? Sorry for the lengthiness ;)""

Insurance for Porsche Cayenne?

hi, im thinking about buying a 2005 Porsche Cayenne, and was wondering how much the insurance will be for such car?""

How much money do i need to save up for my first 6 months of insurance?

I will be 16 or 17 at the time of receiving car insurance and right now I am 15. This summer i will be getting a job and will buy my own cell phone and pay my own cell phone bill($130 for the phone $42 for the total bill). Let's say I receive minimum wage ($7.25) and am payed around $800 a month. If I begin putting aside money out of each pay check ( which will be roughly around $400) for car insurance and do this for around 12 months how much money will i need to put aside out of each paycheck ($400) to be able to pay for 6 months of car insurance? Also, my mom is going to let me buy her car in payments (at most it will cost $2000 altogether), how much should I put aside for that, so i would be able to buy her car at one time in 12 months?""

Does voiding warranty affect my insurance. from a different company?

I'm thinking of rooting my phone but it is still under warranty and I am paying insurance for my phone using a different company. Will rooting my pg phone affect my insurance in any way?

Why is my car insurance so high?

my car insurance is very high its something like 5000-10,000 and plus its only third party and the car is cheap 500 fiat punto ive checked confused several times still same prices""

IM 19. I HAVE A FULL PAID CAR. WHAT IS THE CHEAPEST INSURANCE I CAN GET?

IM 19 YEARS OL. I HAVE A FORD CONTOUR. WHAT WOULD BE THE CHEAPEST ROOT I CAN GO FOR ONLINE INSURANCE. ALL I NEED IS COVERAGE..HELP!

What company offers the cheapest motorcycle insurance in Toronto?

I Want to buy a motorcycle around $ 5000 and wondering how much would be the insurance for the following motorcycles 2006-2009 Honda CBR RR 600 2006-2009 Honda CBR 125 How can I be able to get discount on my premium. I have a full M licence with no accidents for like 2 years. I live on Dufferin st close to bloor and I am 25 years old male Serious replies only please because having a car is too expensive for me.

What is the best car insurance company for 1st time drivers UK?

Hi, I am 24 and I have had my lisence for about 6 months now! Insurance is soooooo high for this age range and not having much previos experience. What insureers would you suggest to first time drivers? Thanks""

Does having a coupe make your insurance go up?

I'm am planning to get a Honda civic and i was wondering if have a coupe would increase my insurance rates ...... and also does having that same car in red make it go up too ??? thanks for all the help :D

Are dual sport bikes cheaper on insurance?

Well me being only 17 and only having a minumum wage job. I heard it was cheaper to own a bike. Don't get the wrong impression, I can afford a car and insurance. It's it cost too much money. I have less thsn 100$ every MONTH to myself. I should habe over 650. So anyways. I want to get a bike. Since i'll only be commuting. Social,work,school. Is it worth it. And if so what kind of bike shoukd I get. I'm 6.3 and big. Woukd a 250cc be a good start?""

Cheap insurance?

ok my partner has hes test next week and we are looking for a car costing about 1000 thats cheap on insurance / cheap to run also a 5 door, the best we found so far is a deawoo matiz witch isnt even a 1.0 but the insurance is 1400 for a year! witch is the cheapist we have found as its a 2002 model. any other cars thats we can get thats cheap and around the same year? thanx ~x~""

Would it be cheaper to insure honda civic or honda accord?

I'm talking about general prices for each of them, I'm thinking accord is cheaper because its cheaper and non sporty and a family sedan can anyone tell me how much they pay for their inusrances?""

What is the difference between Insurance Brokers and Insurance Agents?

What is the difference between insurance brokers and insurance agents?

Health insurance plans?

I live in Florida and I'm a college student. I want to know what are good affordable insurance companies for college students or people in general. I prefer to know about those that are well known and have a long record history and not some sketchy insurance company. Thank you!

Average Car insurance in NY? I feel like I am being ripped off?

I understand age , tickets , and car type are all variables. I Have a 3 year old new car from 2010 *just a normal 4 door sedan* and the insurance seems VERY high... I am 22 years old and was curious to know what a good price is out there in the NY area""

How much would my insurance cost if i an a new driver age 16 in CT without a car ( i just use my parents car)?

My parents are good drivers and have no real accident record and i havre no criminal record and get decent grades. my dad saqys rates would go up 1500 dollars is he being accuratge?

How do I fight an auto insurance company's liability decision?

I was T-boned by another driver who I believe rolled through a stop sign and could not have been paying attention to the road. It was a four-way stop intersection, and the insured ...show more""

Trying to repeal the Healthcare law which is good for the American people the only thing republicans hope?

Trying to repeal the Healthcare law which is good for the American people the only thing republicans hope will put them back into the White House?

What are cheaper for auto insurance: Acura integras gs or ls?

im 18 years old too

Car insurance when borrowing a vehicle...?

If I were to borrow a vehicle and be in any kind of accident, will the car owner's insurance cover it?""

What is the best insurance for a new driver in nyc?

I've been driving for 2 yrs now but got my license about 2 months ago. Im 21 and limited on cash.  I need a cheap auto insurance because driving right now is essential with the MTA fare hike.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/most-affordable-auto-insurance-florida-julia-blanchard/"