#i was like...i GOTTA. i cannot pass up this opportunity

[thelaststarfalling]

get work done while at home on break (impossible challenge)

[thatchrollostan]

as this blog has stated countless times: Levi CANNOT flirt for dear life.

so when he finds out that he got a crush on you, and he has no idea how to start something with you, he thinks to himself, that, maybe he'll just give up and move on with life. life is better when love is not involved anyway, or so he convinces himself.

we'll, he's wrong.

months later, he's frustrated that he hasn't been able to move on and enjoy a better life like he planned to months back. he's still .... hopelessly stupid around you. he doesn't ask love advice to anyone, but of course Erwin and Hange somehow can sniff something is brewing

he doesn't take their advice, they're too... sappy. and cringe. maybe. he's questioning himself a lot. is it cringe? it IS cringe. is it? or is he just not used to romancing? Erwin and Hange definitely have more experience in this, so maybe he can ... try one of their advices.

You’re stuck on pantry duty with the rest of your squad, when Levi walks up behind you quietly.

“You really oughta change how you clean your furniture,” he says, deadpan as ever. “Dusting’s not always enough. You’ve gotta wipe it down with a damp cloth.”

He’s got that same unreadable expression plastered on his face, but inside, Levi reminds himself, smile, dammit. So, one second after he finishes his sentence, he does. Briefly. A second later, he regrets everything.

You catch the sudden smile out of the corner of your eye, and get a bit concerned. That smile was ominous for some reason.

“Got it. I’ll grab a cloth, Captain.”

“Good.” He clears his throat. He needs to bail before this gets more awkward. “Keep that in mind. Maybe then your quarters will look better next time I check.”

And just like that, it hits you. When he dropped by your room yesterday, he must’ve clocked every stain and speck of dust with those hawk eyes of his. He’s definitely calling you out.

“Sorry, Captain,” you mutter, already halfway to the supply closet. He stiffens at your apology.

“I’m not—” he starts, but you’re gone. He exhales hard, dragging a hand down his face before stalking off down the hall.

To hell with Hange’s idea. Never again.

the next day, Hange asks him if their plan worked or not, and Levi just says "dont ask" frustratedly and leaves quickly, still embarrassed to the bone.

but it seems the God of Love is merciful with him.

another opportunity comes when Levi spots you from across the mess hall. some cadet collides into you, splashing some of his black coffee over your crisp white uniform. he doesn’t move, just watches, his eyes narrowing like he might burn a hole through the poor kid. you talk with the cadet for a moment, clearly upset, then walk off, heading toward your table with a stormy expression

you pass his table without noticing him. he considers saying something. maybe offering help. but how? would that make him look stupid? sticking his nose where it doesn't belong? he’s halfway through overthinking it when you start getting farther away

then by some ridiculous miracle, you stop, turn around, and walk back toward him. he looks up, caught off guard as you offer a sheepish smile

“Sorry to bother your lunch, Captain,” you say, gesturing to the fresh stain on your chest, “but, uh… do you have any tips for getting coffee out of white?”

This is it. His shot. Blow it, and there won’t be a next one.

“…I do,” he says after a beat, voice level. “Meet me in the laundry room after lunch. I’ll show you how to do it yourself.”

You light up at that, more than he expected. And when you nod and walk off again, looking oddly pleased, he lets the corners of his mouth turn up, just slightly.

that afternoon, he has a very pleasant time cleaning your uniform with you, that Erwin feels spooked when Levi passes by him with a ghost of a smile

[cosmousee]

𝕋𝕙𝕖 ℍ𝕖𝕝𝕝 𝔸𝕞 𝕀 𝕤𝕦𝕡𝕡𝕠𝕤𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕕𝕠𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕟𝕠𝕨?!

Hello cuties! Hope y’all have been keeping well😇

I thought I’d do a reading related to what y’all should be or could be doing, especially if you’re feeling stuck, if you’re feeling you aren’t going anywhere despite consistent efforts or something along those lines. So I thought I’d bring some help! Okay so for this reading I made three chits about whether you should continue doing the thing, or change things up a bit or completely start a new project. I’ll pick one of em for each pile and then I’ll read the tarot~

So let’s get into this! I hope I’ll be able to bring some clarity to you guys!!

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Pile 1>2>3

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ＰＩＬＥ １

Pile 1 your chit is “You’re doing amazing sweetie! <3” Its basically telling you to keep doing what you’ve been doing, and you’re so good at it!! Spirit is actually patting your back and is urging you forward.

I’m getting that image of you know when parents teach their children how to read a bike and they’re constantly cheering you on from behind as you take slow pedals, and you’re a little wobbly. Spirit might’ve guided you at first (and ofcourse they will keep guiding you) but I think they want you to take the wheel (i just wrote week so maybe the coming one is important) and just take your bike wherever you want to go and they’ll always be cheering you on!

Right of the bat guys, spirit is like, LOVE your work you guys!! And not just love ‘the work’, love everything that comes with it, the late nights, the endless coffees, the money, the sense of fulfillment in your heart.

Love the entire process, love the hardships, love the lessons, you’re not gonna get these anywhere else!! I literally cannot stress this in the way they are telling me all this. Whatever it is the good, the bad, the struggles, you gotta love it all to fully capture what you’re doing. What you are capable of doing.

Like its so unique, its so unique to you, its all yours, all those lessons, the success, EVERYTHING is just so uniquely yours. Love that you’re getting to experience all of that!!

I know its easier said than done, obviously who would want to romanticize the hardships, right? I know I understand but sometimes, for the sake of your own sanity you gotta, and it helps in making that moment pass more easily than before.

And you know I had this habit, every night before bed I would just say thank you to the universe, for just about everything, every good time, the bad time, every lesson, every opportunity, because sure in the moment it sucked, but I’m out of it now and I’m feeling better too!

They’re telling you to reminisce your journey from where you started and where you are now, look at those memories fondly, look at your baby self fondly, see how far you’ve come, what you’ve achieved. Remember what your vision was and where you’ve made it.

And look where you finally want to be in respect to that. Send love to all these versions and they’ll send it back to you.

Every time you feel you have a setback, try clearing your head, try visualizing a straight path to where you want to go and just see how easily your energy comes back to you and how easily things start moving and flowing again.

I wish you well Pile 1~

That’s all I have for you today! Thank you so much for reading🎀🌻Please let me know what resonated I love hearing from y'all<3

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ＰＩＬＥ ２

So pile 2, I got the urge to pick up two chits for you and they are, “You’re doing amazing sweetie!” and “Let’s try something new, shall we?”

And um these are two completely opposite chits?! Spirit and their ways man.

Anyways, I feel like if you’re reading this because you’re in a slump and you can’t really get the motivation to do the things you’ve already been doing. Or if you’re working really hard but in the end you’re getting stuck at a wall, it seems like your time of doing that thing is up now, and you might want to upgrade to something, or you know might just start something completely new!

You know how spirit gets when its time to move forward to something else? Yeah, it’s like that. And no, its not like you’ll have to stop doing the current thing for forever. Its like, you know dabble into this new thing because you’re already a master of the previous one, and whenever you come back, you’ll be able to pick it up right where you left it!

It won’t be that oh you’re rusted or whatever, it’s second nature to you. You know its like you’ve cooked in one home for a long time and its muscle memory to know where the ingredients are, where the cups, the spoons, the knives are. But you have to go out to someplace else because it’s calling you.

And when you come back, things will be exactly where you left it and you’ll work with your muscle memory~

There might be something in the back of your head that you have wanted to pursue since forever, like you know something which now sounds like a childish dream, but you know how serious it was for you when you got the urge to start it. Your adult brain might be pushing it to the side, telling you see it’s not practical, let’s focus on what we are doing right now since we are so good at it.

You know how the brain gets shit scared when you’re trying out something new and it gives you every possible reason not to do the thing? Yeah that’s why we don’t listen to our brains alot.

I also got the feeling that another kid somewhere around you has a similar/or the same dream and you hear them talk about it with so much of passion and even your inner child jumps in excitement and they are just waiting for you to follow that!

Just have that courage and take that leap of faith into doing that thing you’ve been wanting and see how much wisdom you gain, what new experiences you get, the opportunities oh so endless.

And don’t worry, the experience from doing your current thing will help alot in starting this new project. You’ll be able to apply so many things you learnt in such a different way and you’ll be like holy crap! That was amazing.

And who knows, the things you might learn doing this, you could apply to your previous project wink wink

Get out there, let your creativity flow, tell your mind to shut up a little bit. I also just got the image of Iron man, just casually doing impossible things!! So lets fkn goooo pile 2, do your best, we’re cheering you on!

I hope I was of help to you!

I wish you well pile 2

That’s all I have for you today! Thank you so much for reading🎀🌻Please let me know what resonated I love hearing from y'all<3

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ＰＩＬＥ ３

We got two chits for you pile 3, and they are “Let’s try something new shall we?” and “We might need to mix it up a little”

I think its time to start a new venture my guys, and it feels like it’ll be completely new as compared to what y’all have done already. Mixing it up seems like trying to do things you’ve never done before.

It’s like a finance guy going for a marketing thing.

It can be learning a new language, or something artistic, or creative. I can see some paintings, some canvas.

It can also be as easy as changing what you paint with? I dont know my sister is an artist and she does crazy things man. But like, yeah maybe its trying digital art, or going back to paper after doing digital art for so long?

It can also be trying a new thing in the same domain itself if it makes sense, like the painting example you know~

Just find yourself a guiding light. Since you’re trying out something new, it doesn’t mean that you should do it with no help. Find the help, get your tutorials, get those courses whatever it is which can help your journey.

Don’t follow reason, follow your light, follow your guide and watch how quickly you are able to progress, how quickly things move forward. The zeal you’ll get once you get the ropes of what to do next, and soon you’ll be able to be your own guiding light.

You’ll see yourself as the amateur and the expert all in one. You’ll have all the knowledge and still you’ll get to learn more things and feel like a student. It’ll be an amazing energy (i meant to write journey but i guess spirit has taken a wheel on my writing today, this also i wrote as wiring, what is wrong with me).

Okay, this might happen especially in the case if you’re trying new things in your own domain, because you know, you already know every nook and cranny of your domain, and when you’re doing a new thing you’re like! Oh! Oh wow I didn’t know about this how glad am I to find this thing out!!

Be like a sponge, absorb, every single thing. You’ll be surprised to learn so many things and from such unexpected places.

I wish you well pile 3~

That’s all I have for you today! Thank you so much for reading🎀🌻Please let me know what resonated I love hearing from y'all<3

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[paladinhearts]

Y’all why am I seeing so much byler doubt again 💔💔

Regardless of all the theories and stuff, please remember that no matter what happens, the irrefutable truth is that Mike and El’s current relationship is being held up by a LIE.

Paintinggate (if that’s what it’s called) is one of the biggest Byler proofs out there because of the fact that you literally cannot deny that Mike professed his love to El due to the way he felt in response to what he thought were El’s feelings but were actually Will’s.

Now if they had resolved this in S4 somehow by having either one from the trio bring up the painting and mention the elephant in the room, the chances of Byler happening might’ve been significantly lower.

However. However. However. That is not what happens. The painting is still something that needs to be resolved in the final season. And if this was just some side-plot thing, you could argue that it doesn’t mean Byler endgame. But that is NOT the case.

The whole painting plot so greatly affected what ended up happening between Mike and El, and once the truth comes out, because it has to (read: Friends Don’t Lie), do we really think Mike&El are just gonna go “ummm anyways!” and ignore the fact that the only reason their relationship survived was because Will passed off his own feelings as El’s???

Will El be ok with that?

Because seriously, will it be a satisfying conclusion to see a relationship come together because of a lie, and then just move on and pretend like the lie never happened?

If Will hadn’t given Mike the painting. If Will hadn’t passed off his feelings as El’s. If Will didn’t tell Mike that he was the heart and didn’t push him to say something. Would Mike have said ‘I love you’ to El?

Exactly.

Another thing to mention is that we know El could hear everyone’s voices during the monologue scene, not just Mike’s. Meaning she most certainly heard Will pushing Mike to do something. That’s another thing that needs to be addressed within the show. So please for the love of god let’s stop getting Byler doubt over literally everything (like, Squid Game??? Really???? Are you fr). It would be one thing if it was over new official potentially anti-Byler content, but Squid Game????????? Girl.

** Seems I gotta add context to this LMAOOOO it’s nothing much I’m just seeing some people on Twitter freak out because the SG ending was mid and they’re worried that if a show like SG could fumble then what’s stopping the ST writers from fumbling too aka what if they didn’t make Byler endgame and messed up a great opportunity. Which is. Insane. Like that is QUITE the mental gymnastics please sign up for the olympics. Different writers, different editors, different directors, different scriptwriters, different people, different plots, different characters, different CONTINENTS for crying out loud please stand up. The way people were panicking I thought we got bts of m*leven wedding or something 💀

[randomyuu]

the way it follows you home, the stories i never told

My guy Vox once again graced us with lovely Goyuu fanfics, and the way it follows you home, the stories i never told, made me go FERAL.

Time travel? Two Gojou Satorus? Double affection for our sunshine Yuuji? Yuuji sandwich? What feels like possible continuation of (you'll whisper, serpent tongue) what you fear you have become???

FUCK.

I need to stop indulging my imagination too much. I should’ve been content with writing long-ass comments but noooooo, my brain goes “you gotta draw it”. DAMMIT VOX, YOU AND YOUR DELICIOUS WRITINGS HHHHHH

So… usually I should’ve picked a favourite scene that is within my drawing capability, but I just… love all three chapters??? So I made a questionable time investment? I can’t stop??? Help???

This is probably the most ambitious fanart project I’ve ever done so far. Fair enough, considering I might combust if I keep these welled-up emotions inside from reading Vox’s Goyuu fics. Fuck.

Fic info:

Title: the way it follows you home, the stories i never told

Author: @voxofthevoid

Pairing: YuuGoGo. Future!Yuuji, Future!Gojou, Teen!Gojou

(idk why I laugh writing YuuGoGo. I’m beyond help)

Currently, it is 3 chapters out of 8. And it’s gonna be NSFW chapter 4 onwards, so don’t forget to read the tags first, folks!

The drawings are under Read More, because I have lots of thoughts surrounding each chapter and drawings. It’ll be hella long if I didn’t hide it here. It was a mess down there. A combination of hours before, during, and after I read said fic. I’d say good luck finding the art among the sea of jumbled words but… you’ll find them easily. Don’t worry about it haha

SPOILERS FOR ALL 3 CHAPTERS! I highly recommend reading those first before diving into these drawings!

Also for the comics, read from right to left please!

From here on, I will be referring to the Future!Gojou as Gojou and the teenage one as Satoru.

Overall, drawing all these is fun! Really fun! This project pushed me quite hard, forcing me to test my limit (because I rarely draw this much back to back). Since this is a combination of drawings and comics, the coloring style will not be consistent. In a way, I want to try some brushes I never get to use, as well as try out my new graphic tablet. Drawing these got me giggling because I was finally able to let loose during line art. It's much easier to do so, and sometimes I just get to reread the fic and giggle to myself for the nth time.

CHAPTER 1:

Whooo. Whooooooooo—

Ok, ok, the premise is just that good. It intrigued me, fascinated me, and I just… oomph. I cannot refuse a Time Travel Yuuji Sandwich. Sign me up.

Honestly, there are two scenes that are just… a bit too clear in my mind when reading this chapter. That would be the one I drew above, and the other is when Yaga called Gojou to come outside of the class. I love, loooove how Vox wrote Satoru’s POV. And when Yuuji fucking giggles?

I lost it.

Can you imagine, drawing Yuuji grins, with shiny stuff, maybe some sunlight, just purely happy and indulging Gojou?

Help me, for I am drowning in my love and adoration for Yuuji.

Page 2 is an experiment on using harsh black as shading (kind of?). I really enjoyed colouring Yuuji, and drawing those buffalo skulls! I wish I can grasp the concept of contrast a bit better tho :v

CHAPTER 2:

This is probably the only chapter where I picture still images instead of comic panels. A bit like those cool chapter covers in mangas. The one I really, really want to draw is the scene with Satoru on the table. Can’t pass the opportunity to highlight Satoru being a brat, albeit a really cool brat.

Cool idea drawing always proves to be a challenge, because of course my artistic skill just so happens to be below the requirement. Thank you, Sketchfab, for the chair and desk’s perspective otherwise I’m screwed lmao

The second scene that I want to draw the most is this:

Gojou is one step away from climbing Yuuji. Also, I have a bit of a problem picturing a man pouting that makes him look crazy instead, so please have Gojou pouting adorably instead. Because, as Yuuji said (with love), Gojou is (also) a brat.

This is possibly my favorite art in this project, after Yuuji's in Chapter 1 page 2. It's clean because I don't have to draw background, and I was having a fun time drawing Yuuji. And Gojou's squishy cheek as well.

Oh, actually, there is a “manga” scene in this chapter. It’s when Yuuji said, “I love Satoru.”

I just—

AAAAAHHHHH YUUJIIIIIII YOU AND VOX ARE GONNA BE THE DEATH OF ME. That secure relationship between Yuuji and Gojou? Satoru’s description of how Yuuji’s smile could blot out the sun??? Not me screaming 💀 I also see bits of hints of possible co-dependency, though I could be reading those wrong, but either way I’m good. Secure and possessive relationships are fun to consume hhhhhh

But yeah. There are too many wholesome Yuuji smiles in this fic, and I… I am not confident enough to draw genuine happiness. It’s too much for me ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

For this chapter, another reason why I chose these two scenes is just because I want to try and draw cover-worthy pictures of Yuuji and Satoru, and Yuuji and Gojou (cough)

CHAPTER 3:

We start the chapter with Nanamin. Ah, Nanamin. I forgot what his teen self looked like and was surprised to see his design again lmao

I want to draw Yuuji and Nanami scene because… I just want to, I guess. I have never drawn him before (Yaga as well) so that's an interesting challenge. I got two ideas on how I want to draw it. One is a bit painting-esque, and the other one is like another chapter cover. In the end, I chose the cover one because I want to emphasise the difference between teen!Nanami and the Nanami from Yuuji’s original timeline, and how the watch feels like a connection between the same (yet not) person. It’s a bittersweet feeling? In a way?

I’m not really good at explaining my intention ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

I love Yuuji’s answer to Nanami's question.

AND FINALLY.

A Yuuji SandwichTM scene.

And oh B O I do I love it. Have I told you I like every chapter? I probably have. But this one? Satoru’s curiosity, Yuuji’s on-brand self-deprecation, and Gojou come strolling down to show more of Yuuji to his mini-self. I want to draw this whole scene, from Gojou finding them, feeding Yuuji snacks, bitch-slapping Satoru into the backroom, to Yuuji growling. Them trying to hide a boner from Yuuji’s growl got me cackling so hard I LOVE IT 😭

I love it all. Please love Yuuji in my stead, Satoru and Satonyan :3

Oh! Also! 40-finger Yuuji sounds really, really cool! I’ll be happy with whatever Vox will give us in future chapters, but 40-finger Yuuji… possible scene with this timeline’s Sukuna… my god. The action! The drama! The bloodshed! One can only hope.

However, as much as I love that whole scene, it’s still too much for me :”) I’m still not yet confident in delivering the humour and action. Also my already-long drawing plan had my brain groaning in protest so I can’t push my luck :'D

When Gojou said "He looks sweet, but he's a bit of a beast", I kept picturing Yuuji staring innocently, but there was an edge to his look. As if the moment Satoru looks away, he will pounce. But in the end I just stick with innocent-looking Yuuji because I accidentally drew his eyes that way and I want to keep it in lol

Since Satoru points out how soft and cuddly Yuuji is, I also want to draw soft Yuuji :v

And the last one… is the last scene. For some reason, I read that both Gojou and Satoru share Yuuji’s lap and was having a frustrating yet fun time figuring out how it’s… physically possible, without having their butts on the ground because they both are not small at all. As I lined the art, I reread it again and… perhaps I read it wrong? Satoru is beside Yuuji, and not on his lap? So yeah, this one might be the least accurate, but hey, at least you can view it as a crack drawing or something :v

AAAANNNDDD I HAVE EXCEEDED TODAY’S BRAIN CAPACITY OF FORMING WORDS

Have I told you I love this fic?

…I probably have.

Have an amazing week (❁´▽`❁)*✲ﾟ*

[mysterylover123]

Watching G1 Transformers "Microbots"

sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name...

Gotta say, I'm loving all the casual women scientists in the background in this show. Carly, the woman last ep, more ladies in this intro. Just a tiny detail I appreciate.

Man everybody laughing at Screamer getting attacked by a snake my poor boy has absolutely zero friends. Tho Ravage wrestling with a jaguar is cute.

Megs once again getting gyped on that ultimate power deal. Purple finger lasers that still aren't as impressive as his own freaking gun.

"It was clever of Prime to collapse this hill on us" Megsy just cannot miss up an opportunity to fanboy over OP.

HAHAH THE DECEPTICONS ARE DRUNK THAT'S HILARIOUS OMG it's so adorable. Like outta nowhere they just get drunk and start being funny and pass out.

Megsy slurring about the "Good old days back on cybertron" haha missing the sweet old days with OP? Also the Cons are total lightweights they get drunk off of one beer and Megsy flat out passes out.

Snicker snicker we need jokes about Bee Perceptor and Brawn being inside Megsy.

"Megatron ain't big enough for the three of us" lol resist urge for joke its a kids show resist it.

Megsy's insides are weirdly pretty and glowy. I feel like future Mech designs on the inside would be a little more elaborate.

LOL Megsy is no thoughts head empty canonically. Though Brawn does make a good point, they could've just brought a bomb with them, gone in and out, boom. Problem solved.

Oh well. As far as I can tell to the fandom this is "the one where the cons got drunk". I need a hilarious fanfic extending this scene.

[catsushinyakajima]

I’m sitting by a trash can at the bus stop waiting for the bus for the past TWENTY minutes and I am also late to class (my own fault for going to the gym instead of heading to class early :/) SO ANYWAYS-

Voltron headcanons (realistic and college AU, also inspired by my own college misery):

- they’re all stem nerds. All of them. I know a lot of people HC them as liberal arts major which is great! but they are canonically astronauts (one part of canon that I like)

- Lance would be the kind of guy to be like “WE GOTTA HIT THE GYM EVERYDAY THIS SEMESTER RAHHHH” and then dip the second midterms start. Every single semester. Without fail.

- Keith found lectures useless since he could just “read the textbook”. He never showed up to a single class except for exams and somehow passed. He only stopped the habit when multiple friends scolded him for it.

- Coran would be in twenty different clubs. Correction: he would be PRESIDENT of twenty different clubs. No one knows when he joined them. The clubs range from archery to competitive coding to mental health awareness. (“Hey Coran are u free tonight?” “No sorry, the Roleplaying Ancient Romans club is having a bake sale tonight” “the what-)

- hunk would do a LOT of volunteering. He’s probably cook for shelters but I can also see him tutoring underprivileged kids in engineering :)

- Pidge would have a surprising amount of school spirit. Not bc she likes the college or the sport. She just wants to hate on the other teams. Also if her tuition is going to the football coach’s salary, she might as well be passionate about it.

- Allura is a triple major. Maybe even a quadruple major?? She’s the girl you see constantly stressing about their schedule. “Okay so should I take this class…that makes me have eight classes total all back to back” “WHAT” “what if I did a minor in psychology?” “Allura how tf are you going to fit that in there”

- Shiro is a TA (teaching assistant) for calculus or physics or something. Because the world hates him it’s an eight am class where the professor teaches wrong content and then dumps twenty hours of grading on him. “So you find the derivative under the curve” “Professor that’s not-“ You will never see him without a coffee.

- Hunk has beef with the Dining halls. They don’t season their food and they don’t even have much to begin with. On the other hand, Lance practically lives there. He’s making the most of the meal plans he paid for.

- At least he sticks to tastier things. Keith, who also practically lives at the dining hall, will eat salt and pepper chicken four times a day (“it’s protein”)

- it’s how Keith and Lance have had most of their meals together. Notably, also alone.

- aside from living at the dining hall, Keith also lives at the gym. This explains why he’s never at class.

- pidge has a car on campus. It’s Matt’s car or whatever. Not only can she not park for her life, she also can’t stop getting parking tickets. She uses the tickets as wall decor for her dorm.

- Lance skateboards. He’s pretty good at it. He’s only fallen twice, and both times had been in extremely public settings. Once was in front of a bus stop with fifty people. He tried teaching Coran how to skate and Coran accidentally slipped and launched the board towards the main road.

- Pidge plays clash royale in class. Shiro roasts her for it but then secretly also plays word games in class

- on top of having four majors, Allura also has four internships??? Everytime she posts about something that seems relaxing, it’s misleading. She’ll post herself getting drinks and SIKE it’s a networking event. She’ll be going hiking SIKE it’s a colleague bonding trip. Girl cannot take a break.

- Keith hates frats. Even educational ones with job opportunities. Even if he knows all frat boys aren’t shitty, he refuses to budge on his stance

- Shiro is the kind of guy you’d be talking to and ten people come up to him to say hi. Everyone knows him. Even if he doesn’t know them.

[cccakessslicemeee]

Really obsessed with the idea of Riz (somehow) being a demon in hell with little authority and 0 respect from the other demons and devils that exist there. That's fine. He's used to it. And Fig, the arche devil herself is like... No actually this pisses me the fuck off and goes to do something about it but it only kinda works.

Riz has to demon down and command respect but more importantly fear from the other denizens. Unfortunately he is cute and he is small so most just dont take him seriously until he brings his horns out and then it's oh shit this is someone somewhat important.

+specifically thinking about Riz having to make some sort of deal/ bet with a demon that allows his friends to escape some dire situations. Something something about love and knowing that without outside influence he is good and kind and will default to being kind and then also something about "of course I know love, I have been loved and I have been loving and even if I should not remember how hard I was loved previously my friends will love me for all that I was and all that I could be." And then the game begins where Riz is whoops suddenly a demon with a task at hand, he's gonna fix hell. He has to. There's so much wasted potential, especially in the first circle some idiot Figoroth Faeth runs. Hm. She's never there to pass judgement. What the fuck is HER deal?

Bonus points if Pok is doing stuff in Hell and he runs into Riz who has no recollection of who he is. I like to think Pok is pretending to be a damned soul and Riz has much more awareness than an average demon or whatever. He doesn't say anything because he's already busy with a million other things and one not damned soul parading around hell is not his problem. He's gotta fix the yucky fuck mud demons or whatever they are called I literally cannot remember at the moment.

Riz also through the deal received abilities to better shape his experience in Hell. Things that would be so easy to exploit and take advantage of. Firstly his title but he doesn't. He is dedicated to going things the right way. Bonus points if Kipperlily just exists and has been a gopher since Riz just popped into his task master position. She hates it at first but after some time she gets to be the first person who regularly sees Riz get frustrated with hells design time and time and time again. Haha what an insane little idiot.

Anyway there's a nicer building in hell for elite or demons who pretend they are and it's just a nice swanky place that's relatively quiet and serves good meals. Most of them are memories. The kiss from a first love or holding hands with a crush. Beautiful split seconds of the life up above. Riz is unbothered he has things to do but it's quiet and he can hound or bully some lesser demons into doing a bit of work for him.

Pok shows up. Out of the blue. Riz immediately asks this guy what he wants and knows he doesn't belong here. He's still got a pulse. Pok is hurt but shoves that aside. Maybe he bought his son a beverage since they won't get to properly share a beer in the mortal plane and was curious as to what he thought about it. Riz picks at the cherries but doesn't bother with the drink itself. What does this guy want? Treasures? Trinkets? Perhaps a boon? Although that's only gonna get him so far in hell of all places.

"I don't suppose you came to me begging for work? Did you?"

Pok smirks. Opportunity knocks but once after all. "What would you do about that, if I was?"

"I'd ask you to steal Gabriel's horn and some other things too."

"Really? What good would those do you here in Hell? Unless you plan to flood the place with all the living?"

"No actually I want everybody out so I can redecorate, unbothered and undisturbed."

For a while Pok is dead silent until he speaks again. "Do you really want the horn?"

"Gods no. That'll start a war with the upper planes. A real one. I just want everyone to shut the fuck up. For about... Forever would be nice."

And then bam Pok is working with Riz but mainly trying to figure out what the fuck happened to his son. In some ironic twist of fate Riz is actually organizing hell better, sure it's the first ring and It is hell but there's much better documentation of things that happen and a record of souls who are currently in hell and those who should be in hell but have left for xyz reasons..he's making a dent in the system. Woo. He's doing well. Really well and each time he does a little better he gets more power and more responsibility.

Bonus points if Riz gives 0 fucks about regaining his lost memories. He's just got so much work to do. Memories don't make files or find missing souls.

I also really like the idea of Johnny Spells and his biker gang kissing the goblins ass a little bit so they by proxy have some power and get left the fuck alone. Perhaps Penelope Everpetal is the worst at this because she wants an excuse to go to the mortal plane so bad. Riz sees right through her and keeps her at a desk reading through outdated laws.

Riz wants to choke Fig the fuck out. She does little to nothing with her realm and there's so much she SHOULD BE DOING. Like correctly sorting souls and dismissing them to the correct rings of hell. As per fucking usual he's gotta do everything his self.

I think it would be funny if Riz changed the domain a little bit and when Fig pops by she fixes it back to the way she likes, it's her domain.

Baby is not allowed to exist in the space as Riz. He won't let that happen. He does not have time for that bullshit. No no no.

Anyway that's merely a couple of thoughts.

[memescomicswriting]

It's Nice To Have A Friend

Chapter 4: You Weren't Mine To Lose

Summary: Fate is cruel on how it goes about obtaining its desires. It must be fate, because there is no other explanation for how perfectly molded Y/N and Helaena are to one another. They complement one another like opposite sides of a coin. Where Helaena is shy, Y/N is outgoing. Helaena has a photographic memory. Y/N has emotional inteligence. They have the right temperament to be the missing piece in one another’s lives. Ying and Yang. Then there are the boys. Love them or hate them, they’re there. Even the adults cannot escape the Targaryen chaos, and the fallout doesn’t spare the minors simply because they’re adolescents. Follow how Y/N and those around her carve out lives for themselves amongst the weight of the Targaryen legacy in a modern Westeros.

Word Count: 6.2k

Pairings: Aegon x Y/N, Aemond xY/N, hints of Jace x Y/N, Platonic! Helaena x Y/N, Father Figure! Harwin x Y/N, Mother Figure! Rhaneyra x Y/N, Mother Figure! Alicent x Y/N

Warnings: 18+ you’ve been warned

Lots of profanity, sexual innuendos, drug and alcohol use, boys being stupid jerks, infidelity, divorce, eventual smut

A/N 1: Chapters drop on Thursdays. Please, please, please, please share your thoughts. I wanna hear them. I don't bite, promise! Also, I lied about this chapter being signifigantly shorter. I reodered some parts for the story to flow better. Oops, sorry! This is for my Aemond girlies. My Aegon girlies, you'll have your turn soon.

Sereies Masterlist

Aegon pulled Y/N along by her mitten covered hand. It was winter, a harsh one. They were walking down a secluded trail, as the sun set, and old browning snow blanketed the ground. It was scenic. It was freezing.

“I swear to the gods, Aegon Targaryan, if you dragged me out here for some dumb prank or to try and make a pass at me then I’m going to-” She could see her breath as she huffed at him.

“Do what?” He was giddily mischievous today. Her annoyance only fueled his fun. She’d quit her whining once he revealed their reason for being out in the cold. Until then, he enjoyed her frustration.

“I’ll post that video of your Risky Business impersonation on my throwback Thursday.” It was a smug, looming threat- one she only brought out when she couldn’t think of anything he’d done recently. It was a video of him at thirteen practicing for a costume party. He thought the outfit made him appear cool and mature. That was, until he slid a little too far, lost his footing, and face planted. Y/N was recording for him to review his performance. She saved the video to five different locations before he could fight her for her phone.

Aegon shot her a dirty glare. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me.” She tilted her head in that annoying, dareful way that made his skin itch.

“Fine.” He dropped her hand. He continued walking, but backwards so he could face her. “No high for you.” He turned and sped up his pace which forced her into a light jog to follow.

“High?” She questioned. Smoking Ashai root, or Shairo as it was called, was something Y/N brought up to Aegon months ago. As a freshman in high school, she felt mature and wanted to partake in the fun, just like how she now attended the parties. Of course Aegon of all people had a connection. She smelled the bottles of body spray he used to cover the scent.

“Yup.” He popped the word to accentuate his nonchalant persona. “Snitches don’t get prizes.”

“It’s technically not snitching.” Y/N mumbled under her breath. She’d caught up to Aegon by this point and tugged on his arm. “Why do we have to go out this far though? Why couldn’t we have just gone in the backyard.”

“And give Aemond the opportunity to snitch, huh!” He shook his head at her naivety.

“Ugh, fine, but isn’t this far enough?” “Gotta get to the clearing.”

“The clearing?” “You’re a green little girl. What if you crash out after your first hit? Gotta place you somewhere stationary.”

“Fuck you!”

“If that’s how you’d like to repay this kind gesture, I won’t complain.”

They’d stopped at a rather decrepitated set of tree stumps. It was one of the smaller clearings. In a fit of dramatics, Y/N crossed her arms and took a seat like he so rudely suggested.

“Good girl.” This made Y/N roll her eyes. She watched as Aegon took out a long, skinny roll, of what looked like wax paper from his pocket. He held it between his lips as he sparked the lighter, cupping it to secure the flame from the wind. Y/N watched intently. She wanted to know what to do so she wouldn’t look inexperienced when asked at a party. There was something about the way Aegon’s brows knit or his low grumble in annoyance. Y/N’s lips curved into a lazy crescent smile. He was almost endearing. Aegon’s eyes flicked from their half lidded concentration and landed on her. The roll was lit and he was emitting puffs of smoke.

“Have I ever told you how hot you look when you’re speechless, looking up at me with those dopey eyes.” And the moment was gone. Aegon was in a fit of giggles, dodging Y/N’s ire. He waved the roll above her head until she calmed down. Then he handed it over, showing what part to hold to her lips, and directed her to sit.

Y/N inhaled in as he instructed. The smoke burned her throat and lungs as she suckled on the roll. She coughed in little spouts as she tried to hold it down. Smoke poured out her nose by the end.

“Well, you’re definitely part Valyrian.” Aegon settled. “You didn’t choke nearly as bad as I’ve seen and the smoke pouring out your nose made you look like a dragon.”

“I get the purpose.” Y/N was struggling with her release of the second inhale. “But how do you enjoy this part?”

Aegon shrugged. “You just get used to it I guess. It becomes familiar and then kinda comforting.” He took the shairo from her so he could partake as well.

“And then we do what?”

“Relax, enjoy, hangout…”

“In the middle of the woods, when it’s freezing?”

“I’ll admit, it isn’t the most ideal place this time of year, but where would we go? I don’t have a car yet.”

“What about those gummy things I’ve seen people take?”

“Nah, you’re going about it the old school way like the best of us. I would be a poor bad influence if I didn’t give you the full experience.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. That was Aegon’s new thing. Yeah, he was popular in his class. How could he not be? He had all the right clothes, and socials, and the Targaryen status. It was just for his class though. To appear cooler to anyone older and to attract admiration from those younger, Aegon adopted the bad boy moniker. It wasn’t successful with Y/N. She’d seen him cry over animals in movies. He couldn’t appear aloof after that.

“So we just hang out.” She accepted.

“You’re stuck with me.” He mulled it over. “Till we get hungry. Then we rejoin society to raid a fridge.”

Y/N nodded. “Uh, my place. ‘Cause I don’t fancy Alicent’s bird food.”

“Ditto.” Aegon quickly replied.

After that, getting high became their thing. Before that, it was passively scrolling on their phones, but Y/N did that with Helaena as well. No, for the first time Aegon had something only he could do with Y/N. He’d often save up allowance and lunch money for these purchases. His excuse to have her all to himself. He wasn’t sure why he did it. Half the time he didn’t realize he was doing it.

The weather was warmer now and swimming in the lake was a possibility. Y/N was with Helaena for the weekend, but Helaena was indisposed for the moment. One of her insects, or maybe it was an arachnid, was acting strangely. Y/N couldn’t tell the difference, but she’d mumble agreements every now and then to Helena. Really, she was left to lay idle until her friend was done. 

Aegon knocked on the doorframe of Helaena’s room. Helaena glanced at the disturbance but did not acknowledge him. Y/N, however, silently addressed him. Aegon held two fingers up to his lips, their signal. Y/N nodded and hopped off Helena’s bed. She began putting on her sneakers in preparation for the walk ahead.

“I’m gonna go on a quick walk while you finish up.” Y/N spoke to her best friend who waved her off. She figured Helaena had to know what they were going to do, but she really didn’t care so long as it didn’t interfere with her plans.

The pair walked down the stairs as warily relaxed as they could be. They still had that teenage anxiety of being busted by a parent. Much like a drunk person trying to prove they aren’t intoxicated, they were a bit off.

They made it out the door, but not down the driveway. Alicent and Aemond had arrived home from tourney practice. Y/N and Aegon exchanged a look- proceed with caution. Alicent paid little mind to the two cagey teenagers seemingly going on walk. Nothing a teenager should care about was nearby. Yes the lake, but a lake day without proper accouterments wasn’t something society born Alicent could comprehend. Aemond though, he knew better.

He wasn’t oblivious. The thick, weighted smell was easily remembered. No matter the amount of perfume or cologne sprayed, the oder remained pungent. Yes, they could slip past the adults to change, but they almost always encountered Aemond. He didn’t hate the idea of getting high. He wasn’t a prude. It was the intentional exclusion from Aegon and Y/N’s compliance that drew his contempt. He was too young, wouldn’t understand, couldn’t handle it. Well, he was as mature as the rest of them. In some ways, more than Aegon. So it rubbed the wrong nerve. Aegon had something with Y/N that he couldn’t, whether he actively knew it or not. Of course Aemond would never snitch on Y/N. Aegon alone, absolutely. So rather than alerting his mother, he played her to his advantage in a subtler way.

“Mother, since tonight is the live premiere, can we order pizza for supper? I’m sure Heleana and Y/N would appreciate it as well as I.” Aemond’s tone had become rather haughty lately. He always had an advanced grasp on his language skills, but the older he became his readings increased in intensity. Often, it reflected in his superior attitude.

He caught Y/N’s attention with the use of her name. Yes, she’d come over to watch a new Valaryian documentary with Helena and Aemond, but the release was scheduled for tomorrow.

Y/N and Aegon exchanged their confusion. “I thought that was tomorrow night.”

“Oh it is,” Aemond quickly elaborated. “However, the exclusive live exploration of the archeological site is tonight. Father agreed to purchase the viewing rights.”

Smug, that’s how Aegon would describe his brother’s countenance in perceived triumph. Aegon’s eyes narrowed, making it clear that he knew what his brother was up to. Aemond held his own, showing he knew his brother knew and didn’t care.

Before more words were exchanged, Alicent sighed her approval without looking up from her phone. The entire practice she’d sat on the sidelines scrolling reviews for exercise classes and personal trainers. “Whatever you like dear, but I expect you all to eat a healthy bit of salad along with it.”

“Of course, mother.” Aemond held a delightful innocent grin as his mother passed by to enter the house. Once she slipped inside, the facade dropped. Ignoring his brother’s seething, he addressed Y/N directly. “I’ll make myself presentable and then we can set up.” 

“You go make yourself presentable, pretty boy.” Aegon didn’t hide the condensation he felt from his tone. “You can primp all you like while we walk, then you can watch whatever you like.”

Aegon went to take Y/N’s hand and pull her along. The stand off looked rather familiar. Similar to the battles they had as little children over a favored dragon stuffie. This time, Y/N was the toy being tugged from both ends. Much like the stuffend dragon, she felt little say in the battle of wills.

“Oh, but it starts in thirty minutes. Will your walk be that quick?”

“Record it.”

Aemond scoffed. “What’s the point of a live premier if you wait to watch the recording.”

Aegon pulled his free hand down his face in annoyance. “Forty-five minutes of delay and it’ll still be as insufferable as it was forty-five minutes before.”

“Then you miss out on the opportunity to submit inquiries in real time.”

“Oh no, whatever will you do if you can’t be one of thousands to submit the same stupid question about the same stupid rock?”

“It would be nice to participate.” Y/N slowly reclaimed her hand. Lately, she’d become inconsistent with the brothers. One moment she asserted her wants and left it up to them to follow. Another, she was demure and allowed them to go through their tense exchange. Maybe it depended on her reluctance to referee. Maybe she was caught between wanting to satisfy them both. Maybe it was something else.

“We can walk after.” Y/N offered as she gravitated towards Aemond.

Though it was reasonable, Aegon couldn’t allow his brother to be the top choice. “It’s now or never. I’ve got to meet up with Tarbeck and Redwyne later.” It was a lie, he had no plans, but if Y/N wouldn’t comply then he could always summon them and lick his wounds while shit-talking his family.

Aemond now acquired Y/N’s hand. Again, she was the toy being tugged. This time, Aemond was winning the competition by slowly escorting his prize up the front steps. “We’ll walk another time then.”

Y/N gave that apologetic grimace of sympathy that Aegon hated to be on the receiving end of. When he was the one it was directed at, it meant he’d lost. He hated losing, especially to his pompous prick of a brother. He gritted his teeth and groaned through them. He shoved his closed fists into his pockets and refrained from kicking at the grass. He didn’t want Aemonf to have the satisfaction of his temper. “Fine, fine, nerd out with the geeks. When you wanna have fun, maybe I’ll be around.”

Aegon’s angered surrender was enough satisfaction for Aemond. He and Y/N were in the house, so close to the finish line, Aemond allowed the glee to fill his stomach with butterflies. The celebration came too soon.

“Wait,” Aegon slyly feigned his acceptance. “Before I go, let me grab Helaena for you.” Both knew Helaena usually fed her pets around this time. That girl never broke her routines if she could help it.

Aemond hadn’t anticipated his brother having enough composure in his frustration to sabotage his plans. Underestimating Aegon would be his downfall. Helaena was feeding her pets which would take longer than Aemond needed. He also never told Helaena about the live premier, so she’d probably go straight into her drawing until dinner time. That would’ve left him and Y/N alone for over an hour. Aemond couldn’t help the strangled hum he let out. If he stopped Aegon, then it would raise questions he’d rather not answer. The arrogant little scholar couldn’t think of an escape from his own web.

“I’ll feed her little creepy crawlies since asking questions seems so important.” Aegon’s grin was a little too grandiose to avoid Y/N noticing something was up. Though she’d let it slide if nothing else came of it. Aemond recluded into his default lack of expression, signaling on the inside, all he wanted was murder.

“How generous of you, brother.” Aemond swiftly turned on his heel, retreating in the direction of his room. Gratified with his actions, Aegon added a bounce to his step on his way to retrieve Helaena. The lack of escalation allowed Y/N to convince herself it was all nothing.

…

The last party of the summer was as big of a blowout as the first. Maybe more so, because it was the final time a batch of overly privileged teens, who thought themselves invincible, let loose before parting for separate colleges. Y/N’s celebration into adulthood was no different. Helaena attended, though she spent more of her time enjoying the fire than the drinking or drugs. Or maybe she took the drugs and that’s why she enjoyed the fire so much. Aegon was off impressing soon to be freshman college girls with his seasoned university knowledge. Or whatever made it easier to get laid.

Aemond was the only challenge. Yes, he’d gone to parties countless times before. He even drank enough to be enjoyable during the first party of the summer. Somehow, at some point, his attitude towards their parties soured. He was grumpy and giving Y/N a hard time. She’d gotten him out of the house at least.

“If I need to be inebriated to enjoy their company, then I shouldn’t be expected to suffer their presence at all.” Aemond argued, but loyalty followed Y/N as they walked.

“You say that, but maybe it’s you who needs the alcohol to behave.” She quipped back, but he stopped and gave her a look that would intimidate many others. Not her. “Come on, Aemond, please? It’s the last time we can party together before I leave for school.”

Aemond crossed his arms and haughtily smirked. “You’ll be back.”

Y/N groaned. “Please, I’ll owe you a favor for your last party.”

Appearing reluctant, Aemond accepted her terms. Gaining his obedience always pleased Y/N. They made their way down the trail to the designated party spot. Everything was up and running. Hard liquor flowed from stolen and or purchased bottles. Many were over eighteen now; the legal age in Westeros. Someone even managed to drag a keg out. 

Y/N made a drink for herself and Aemond. For a while, they managed to stay together. Everything was just right for Aemond. Aegon was out of sight, out of mind. Jace found himself a Haroway or Hillden to entertain himself. Helaena was somewhat occupied. He had Y/N all to himself. She never contemplated how his arm draped over her shoulder or when he tugged on her waist. It was just Aemond, the boy who used to drag her by her hand to show whatever new book or poster he bought. Aemond, the boy who often fell asleep on her shoulder during long car rides. Aemond, her best friend's little brother. His touch meant little to her, but her touch meant everything to him.

Eventually, she slipped out of his grasp. She’d gone to refill her drink and stayed away; not intentionally. Aemond didn’t notice at first. He wasn’t irritated when he did. He had others he didn’t loathe talking to, but after a while he found himself longing to be near her again.

Y/N was a social butterfly. Like Aegon, she was at ease conversing with her targets. She’d gone group to group and addressed those she wanted to, but landed on Alana Rogar and Lance Tyrell. Both looked so tasty, she could eat them then and there for all to watch. She hadn’t a preference for either. If so lucky, she’d take both. Her flirting wasn’t subtle, but neither was theirs. When Alana leaned in and melted her mouth to Y/N’s, she felt like a lightning struck wildfire. Alana parted and did the same with Lance. Finally, Y/N and Lance greedily devoured each other. They only hummed in agreement when Alana announced she’d bring her off road dragonback to pick them up. Then they could have some real fun.

Y/N and Lance had no shame. Each groped at the other over and under clothing. Both had a need they wanted filled, and both were more than willing to help the other. Hands under shirts, red patches forming on collar bones, and the two walked in tandem towards the trail where Alana would pick them up. Lance pushed Y/N up against a tree. She preened at his roughness and returned the favor by grinding herself against his tented pants. Just as she was losing herself in the satisfying rock of their hips, she lost the feeling.

Lance stumbled steps back. Y/N opened her eyes to see Aemond be the force that pulled him. Somehow the angles of his face were sharper, casting deeper shadows, and appearing menacing.

“What the fuck man?” Lance tossed Aemond’s commanding hand off his shoulder. Aemond retaliated by pushing Lance further and standing between him and Y/N like a platinum haired wall.

“Think you're some caveman tough guy here to snatch up the girl.” Lance’s fists balled as he dared to be face to face with Aemond. The adrenaline from the carnal encounter was shifting to something lethally primal.

Aemond laughed maniacally for being disturbingly restrained. It further enraged Lance. “No, but I know a perverted bastard when I see one.”

Lance took a swing on Aemond. They were practically blended into the trees. Y/N couldn’t expect back up when separating the two. Aemond dodged and threw his own punch. Less intoxicated and more grounded, Aemond’s swing was faster, harder, and it connected. Lance didn’t stand a chance. He fell backwards onto his ass and rolled further back from the momentum of the fall. Aemond was very pleased with himself.

Y/N snapped out of her shock and went to help Lance up, to Aemond’s disapproval. She tried reassuring Lance by suggesting they just walk away, but he wasn’t interested anymore.

“No, this shit isn’t worth it.” He shrugged Y/N off. “Alana’s getting her four wheeler and I don’t have to joust some douche for her pleasure.” Y/N protested, but Lance stormed off to hide his wounded pride.

Y/N watched him leave. Enraged tears welled in her eyes. Like an electric current, the fury pulsed through her body, and in a quick pivot she slammed Aemond’s chest. It was his turn to be sent stumbling. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you.” Y/N roared. Aemond allowed her to push him again. “What in the seven hells is wrong with you!” She punctuated each of her last words with a shove.

Aemond caught her fists the final time and ended her physical tirade. “Lance Tyrell is a dickhead and you would have regretted going off with him.”

“Who gave you the right to make that call?” Y/N struggled against him.

“Don’t be stupid, you know I’m right.” Aemond faintly sneered and refused to let go.

Y/N roared. “Aemond.”

“I’m right!” He snapped, matching her volume and intensity. “You shouldn’t be entertaining guys like that.”

Y/N slipped her hands free by tugging downwards in one sharp motion. Her strength surprised Aemond. Her tone lessened in rage but grew in disgust. “That’s not for you to decide.”

Aemond grumbled under his breath. He refused to acknowledge that he indeed had no right to make that decision on her behalf. He wasn’t her father, brother, or boyfriend. Unfortunately, all he was, was Helaena’s younger brother.

Y/N was unsatisfied with his silence. “Why did you do that?” She was exasperated but refused his answer before he could give it. “No piss ass excuse. Why, Aemond?”

Aemond was pushed to his edge. First she dragged him here when he didn’t want to come to begin with, then she abandoned him, finally he finds her dry humping that ass wipe Lance Tyrell. It was more than Aemond could take. He was boiling over and she was at the fuel of his madness.

“I thought you were better than slutting yourself out to any guy who gave you a moment’s attention.” He sneered. “My mistake.” “Fuck. You.” Y/N slapped him. Aemond didn’t reject the hit. It reverberated in the night air. She was going to leave him, but her thoughts were too sharp not to let cut. “You give me your attention and yet I find sleeping with you repulsive. Must not be that much of a slut after all.”

She did her best to keep her head held high and suppress her tears. She didn’t want anyone at the party to make a fuss and ruin their fun. Aemond in turn let his frustrations out by screaming and kicking the dirt.

“You’re going to regret that.” Was all he could sputter out. Or maybe that was all she heard.

…

Time didn’t heal the wound. Yule was… icy. When Y/N and Aemond were forced in close proximity, a chill settled over the space. Eyes shot daggers made of icicles. Everyone noticed the obvious animosity between the two. Few addressed it.

Aegon, Jace, and Luke found humor in it when they could. Always away from Y/N. If she caught their remarks, she’d roast them alive over the Yule log. However, it was open season on Aemond. Sure he’d retaliate, but he’d never let it get out of hand and peak the curiosity of the elder adults. He wanted to continue the facade of the rift being a simple teenage squabble.

Aegon initiated the teasing. He was privy to the depth of the feud. Jace and Luke, sensing an opportunity to taunt the prick, joined in. Y/N would normally disperse the teasing before it got out of hand, but there was a void where Aemond’s best ally used to stand.

Aegon would ask, “Aemond, have you seen Y/N today?” Aemond would stiffen his posture and attempt a withering glare.

His response was always something like “No I haven’t,” or “You know I haven’t.”

Like sharks, Jace and Luke sensed the blood in the water. Aemond was uneasy about Y/N? Keep her around as often as possible. Invite her to partake in things Aemond enjoys. You’re going horseback riding? Let’s round everyone up and ride together.

Little jabs like, “You know who’s good at this? Lance Tyrell.”

“The Tyrell estate has great Yule lights. We should go check them out.”

“Guess who I saw today?”

Another favorite was, “You’ll regret that.” Though it was said in a jovial tone.

All hell broke loose, and the Targaryen estate turned into Thunderdome every time Aemond found a How to Talk to Girls pamphlet amongst his things. The hit list included: under his pillow, on top of his bed, inside the books he was reading, his car, and Vagar’s terrarium. Whichever boy was nearest received his tirade. The adults shrugged it off as boys pulling childish pranks.

…

Come summer break, Y/N, Helaena, and Aegon were due to return from university. Their college set up resided in storage units as their living arrangements differed in the fall. Out of brotherly love and duty- or Alicent’s behest, Aemond volunteered to help Helaena sort her belongings. He assumed Y/N wouldn’t turn down the free help, but gods she was as stubborn as him. Maybe she was prettier than stubborn. She had several well built members of the jousting league assist in moving her boxes. She made a display out of her sugar sweet compliments and feather light touches of gratitude. Aemond wanted to take a flamethrower and torch the world.

He tried to talk to her. She came back to the dorm for one final walk through and Aemond followed her out to her car. There wasn’t anyone or anything to buffer their interaction.

“You can’t stay mad at me forever.” Aemond hollered in her direction. He’d followed her out, but his footsteps hadn’t captured Y/N’s attention. She was unprepared for this. 

Y/N stood at the driver’s door of her car. Her keys tightened in her hands but she refused to face him or climb in the car to drive away. Aemond took the lack of fight as an invitation to approach. He got as far as a hand brushing her shoulder before Y/N became a tempest of withheld rage. “You haven’t given me a reason to forgive you. So I can and I will.”

Aemond scoffed, she was being immature. Or, she was the immature one, to him. “I’ve already apologized. It’s been nine months.”

Y/N’s scowl was one of disbelief. “No!”  He couldn’t be serious. “No you didn’t Aemond. An apology isn’t some ridiculously expensive Yule gift or a mumble in passing about how it wasn’t your best night.” She pushed his chest as she entered his space. Her temper radiated and forced him to take steps back. This was all too familiar. “An apology is an “I’m sorry. I fucked up. I let my jealousy blind me to my actions.” And then you make changes to your behavior that reflect your remorse. Ugh!”

She turned away once more. She couldn’t stand him. She wanted to return to their exile. The best she could do is withhold her gaze. Aemond was frozen, feet away on the asphalt as she made her final remark. “So no, you haven’t apologized.”

Aemond liked to think of himself as an unwavering, incorruptible pillar, but Y/N was a force of nature. She couldn’t always move him, but she could leave him battered and bruised. She was one of the few who could leave him uncomfortably still. She made him want to move, but somehow also pinned him in his place.

Helaena and Aegon returned to their childhood rooms. All Hightower-Targaryen children were together again. This go round, their parents were serene by comparison. It was agreed upon that until their youngest graduated college and was fully independent, they’d both reside on the estate but in separate wings. After that, Alicent would move out and move on. She’d always be welcome for family gatherings, obviously.

Y/N, true to her determination, claimed the pool house. Not much changed, just bed sheets and decor. The younger Targaryens and Velaryons gravitated to Y/N’s new set up. For one, there was the summer activity of the pool. The adults rarely made appearances in the pool house. It was unsupervised territory and there were snacks. It was a perfect impromptu clubhouse. When Y/N was over it, she’d kick them out till the next day- save Helaena.

That’s who she presumed was knocking on her door. The sun was setting and the sky turned all shades of pastel. Helaena was an unexpected delight. Y/N’d show her how far along she was in redoing the pool house. Helaena’d pick out a movie. Y/N would order something to be delivered. But it wasn’t Helaena at her door. It was Aemond.

Expensive wooden blinds covered the glass doors for privacy. Y/N couldn’t see Aemond lying in wait. When she swung the door open, ready with an open smile and a remark, everything faltered. Y/N’s mouth remained open, hung in surprise. Aemond dared turn up to her sanctuary, sneaking past the residents of the primary household, and stood as if he was an invited guest. In his hands rested a pizza box, a stack of favorite snacks, and the mini projector they used to use to watch vintage movies. 

For someone who strived to be Aegon’s opposite, he certainly shared the presumptuous smirk. They started using it as boys when they knew their mother wouldn’t follow through on whatever punishment she promised. Grown, it was reserved for when they pulled one over on the other, or they were certain they secured a girl’s attention. Y/N went to slam the door in his face. That smirk was gasoline to her fire. Aemond stopped her by nudging himself against the frame, preventing her momentum from gaining traction. 

His smirk faded into a gentle smile. “I know I fucked up and I know I should’ve made amends long ago. I couldn’t move past my pride and I see how ridiculous it- I was.”

Y/N remained mute but she stood aside to let him in. His eyes sparkled with hope. He looked around at the new set up. His heart panged in regret. He would’ve been here with her the last few days, setting up, but he missed the opportunity. Though different in appearance, the layout remained the same. He made his way to the kitchen and placed the peace offering on the counter. Y/N leaned against the archway that connected the kitchen to the living room. She was barefoot, in her pajama shorts, and an oversized university sweatshirt. Her usual sleeping attire.

She remained in place, arms folded and on guard. “If you haven’t noticed, your opinion means a lot to me. So those insults you freely discarded really took a dig at my self esteem.”

Something caught in Aemond’s throat. There was a deep seated urgency that drove his thoughts in quick succession. She valued his opinion. That was something he had yet to consciously think of, or maybe he did and his subconscious couldn’t believe it. It clouded his mind with unpinnable anxiety. She never required him to earn her consideration. She gave it freely and he dashed it’s worth against the rocks. She hadn’t clung to her anger. She clung to her hurt. Everything fell into place, he never needed to wait out or cool her fury. He had to bandage the wounds he blindly made. 

“Y/N,” He pleaded earnestly. “I never wanted to make you feel that way. I was just, ugh!” There was a deep rumble from within his chest, directed at himself. “I was angry and frustrated-”

“And you let the green eyed monster take over.” She cut him off with the obvious. If she didn’t, he’d dance around it.

Meekly, he confirmed her observation. “Maybe.”

“Aemond.” Y/N took a step into the kitchen. Her moves were tentative to prevent any reflexive bolt on Aemond’s end. “Be honest with me, because if you aren’t you won’t like the result.”

“What?” He immediately shot back in nervous suspicion.

Y/N was blunt. Her voice was flat, giving no indications. “Do you have feelings for me?” She stunned him. Her words were the headlights and he was the deer in the roadway. There was a long silence, hoping for an interjection. There wasn’t one. Aemond was forced to speak, stuttering, “What?” Y/N again swept closer. Her tone remained without any indication. “Do you have feelings for me?”

“I,” Aemond tried to gather composure, but the anxiety already made its way to his very blood and pumped through his veins. “I don’t know. Yes? Maybe.”

Y/N held her breath till she was forced to exhale. The release broke their eye contact. Her hands became very interesting. Her fingers rocked back and forth over smooth palms. She swallowed to hold back the intensity of her unease. The bubble of plausible ignorance had burst.

“I… I know. I knew for a while now. I see it in the way you look at me.” She huffed. “Like I hung the moon or something. You treat me differently. You’re not as… gentle with anyone else.” Crystalized eyes looked up through damp lashes. “You shouldn’t. I thought that by playing ignorant it would fade with time. I didn’t want anything to change, and I failed to realize it already had.”

Feeling emboldened by the honesty that settled over the conversation, Aemond spoke up. His voice was freshly assured. “We’re not kids anymore.”

Y/N fluttered her eyes clear, melancholy at the acceptance. “No, we’re not.”

Aemond grew bolder, he took a step forward and tucked her hand in his. She allowed him to run his thumb over the dainty skin of her knuckles. It sent a shiver down her spine and to try hiding her gasp, she turned her head away. Aemond refused the escape. He took her chin between his thumb and index finger, directing her focus back to him. “I’m not Helaena’s nerdy little brother anymore.”

Y/N nodded ever so slightly in his grasp. He held her attention captive. The roles reversed. She was now the deer. “No, you’re not.”

It was then and there or never at all. Without the veil of naivety or shaky denials, Aemond took action. He cupped her cheek, tunnel visioned her lips, and went in.

His attempt broke the hypnosis that settled over Y/N. The deer made its dash. She slipped out of his hold and held herself. Before Aemond could fully feel the impact of rejection, Y/N surpassed his chance to speak. “I don’t know what I feel for you, but whatever it is, isn’t the same as what you feel for me.”

She dressed in a warm, sorrowful smile. A smile nonetheless. Though weary, her eyes hinted at a spark of hope. It was enough for Aemond, for now. He did not buck or bolt.

“I can wait.” It was as solemn as any vow he’d take. “I’ve waited for you for eight years already. You’re worth a thousand more.”

Y/N’s lip quivered. “What if I never feel the same?” It was a defiant, whisper of a question.

Aemond felt a familiar warmth spread from his heart. There was a sense of nostalgia which acted as the source of heat. Gods she was insufferable, but that’s why he fell in love with her. His eyes held the twinkle now. Like the sun reflecting off the water. Certain. “You will. I know you will because we’re meant to be together.” He brightened ever so slightly. “I’ve known it since the day we first met.”

Unironically, Y/N mumbled, “I’m sure shoving Aegon’s face into the dirt had something to do with it.”

He felt at ease enough to chuckle. Still, so certain. “Possibly.”

Worry reclaimed Y/N. He was too assured. “What if I develop feelings for someone else while you’re waiting? I don’t want you to be compelled to the sidelines forever. It wouldn’t be fair.”

Aemond’s breath faltered into rigidness. “I promise I will no longer interfere. It’s my choice to wait, and you’d be a hypocrite to interfere with that.”

Y/N nodded as her mind wandered off to the infinite possibilities. They made her dizzy. She steadied herself by collapsing onto a kitchen stool. Her head rested against her crossed arms, the counter barring her weight. As it just so happened, she’d tucked in  right in front of the pizza box. She could smell the contents and they pulled her out of her plummet.

She raised her head, to Aemond’s surprise and delight, with a friendly smirk. “All this seriousness is making me hungry, and we have an apology pie to eat.”

A/N 2: Let me know your thoughts! I'll soon add post chapter discussions and share mine.

Next Chapter

[decepti-thots]

Ultra Magnus for the headcanon asks, please!

Headcanon A: realistic

I think that while the existence of the Magnus armour stuff is officially only known by a very tiny number of people in Autobot high command, it's not nearly as unknown in an unofficial sense as one might assume, and a not insignificant number of people with some amount of security clearance and/or regular interaction with Magnus know about it and gossip. Obviously we have two concrete canon bits of proof for this (Bumblebee shouldn't know, but was told by at least one Magnus armour wearer, and Ratchet guessed despite never being told), but I think it's gotta be something that over the years has spread enough that it's a little bit of an open secret tbqh. The guy keeps dying and then popping back up with a noticeably different personality. Any medic treating him has the same opportunities as Ratchet to notice. They're robots where the concept of a loadbearer is a clearly known possibility and the propaganda possibility is not that hard to infer! I feel like the number of people who guessed that something was up cannot be anything close to zero, or even just a couple higher ups. Like. It's been gossiped about. You know.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

Due to spending two years in direct collaboration with Verity, he has a baffling knowledge of the very specific segment of Earth pop culture that appeals to a teenage girl from the USA in like the late 00s/early 10s. Specifically a rebellious nerdy one. He legitimately knows more about it than he ever knew about Cybertronian popular culture. This never comes up until he offhandedly mentions some random thing within earshot of Swerve that is so incongruous it causes him to mentally bluescreen. How the fuck do you know about that Magnus. What the hell.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

Magnus is going to carry the guilt of dismissing Rewind's insistence Dominus was somehow alive the whole time with him for the rest of his life. The realization that Rewind was right but they confirmed it too late for him to do anything about it until the very second it was too late, in a time and place where Magnus was present and might have been able to make a split second decision that helped if only he was there, must be such a fucking thing for him. Let alone that as Ultra Magnus, if he had believed like Rewind did, he'd have possibly had the resources to get answers much, much earlier, if he'd tried.

Realistically, he had every reason to assume Dominus was dead. Rewind was being unreasonably optimistic, especially when the comic implies that Minimus was cut off from the literal sparkbond they had in a way that in any other situation would be definitive proof Dominus was dead. But he wasn't! And he missed every chance to intervene by like, the tiniest margin. You have to assume that on some level he's got some fucked up feelings about that.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own

I know Roberts said he thinks that Megatron becoming an Autobot without all the code-test stuff that Tailgate went through wasn't an issue because realistically, Megatron would know it back to front. I don't even disagree with him, I absolutely believe that he would, it makes sense. But it's objectively too fucking funny to imagine Magnus putting Megatron through the 'you WILL listen to my three hour lecture on the syntax of this one sentence being Extremely Legally Important' gauntlet and I simply choose to believe this did happen but off-panel and Magnus absolutely kicked his ass about it in terms of sheer Knowing His Shit about it. Way too funny to pass up tbh. Megatron thought he knew and understood it very well (and to be fair: he did, compared to every not-Magnus person), but he got grilled. Magnus quite enjoyed rebutting every single interpretation Megatron had by way of ludicrous pedantry.

[fmajorenthusiast]

RHPS characters on Halloween?

OMG I LOVE IT SM VRWKQ4FOQF4OQF4R

Ahhh I was the Kristian Lavercombe version of Riff last year it was so much fun!!!

Frank: Frank has a MASSIVE Halloween party!!!! It goes all night and everyone gets VERY high, drunk, and laid!!! Frank has a Halloween goal of "take every single classic Halloween costume and be the sluttiest version of it that the world has ever seen!" It's a running joke in the castle to try and get him to do the world's most classically unsexy costumes so that he'll do a sexy version of them and make everyone laugh!!! Riff Raff, Magenta, and Columbia all have a proudest win! Magenta got Sexy Popcorn Bucket, Riff Raff got Sexy Geppetto from Pinocchio (I am so sorry to have put that image in your head-), and Columbia got Sexy Benjamin Franklin! However, NOBODY dares him to do Sexy Wizard as they simply cannot handle that idea! But yknow what? Frank would make a very sexy wizard indeed!

Brad: Brad likes to dress up as something very generic, but fun! He's been a cowboy for many years and it's really his backup when he doesn't have any other ideas/options!!! But he's also been Batman and he's definitely been one of those inflatable dinosaurs MANY times!!! Really he only does cowboy now as his backup plan for when the dinosaur doesn't work/won't inflate. On Halloween, Brad loves to go to some kind of event if Denton hosts any!!! Like, special movie nights or Halloween themed nights out!!! He'll often start out at home with Janet passing out candy to trick or treaters!!!! Afterwards, he'll hopefully be able to take her to the Hitchcock movie at the theater!!! Brad doesn't do anything crazy or get drunk, he just has so much love for Halloween and doing fun and innocent things with it!!! He loves it so much!!!

Janet: Janet always has the CUTEST little animal costumes!!!! She usually gives herself face paint to round it all out!!! She's been a calico kitty, a little white mouse, a fluffy squirrel, a yellow lab, and so much more!!! She LOVES handing out candy to trick or treaters and she'll absolutely make SURE to compliment everyone's costumes!!! She loves to see what all these kiddos are up to!!! She tries to be up to date on modern slang when the teenagers come through, but she's not great at it! Certain ones will catch her up to date so that she can be increasingly accurate though! So she gets better throughout the night!!! After that slows down she lets Brad take the lead and he'll decide on a fun, Halloween-themed activity for them to do together while still in their costumes!!! It's always something she can handle, though! Like a costume show or a movie! She doesn't have it in her to want to be terrified, and she's totally valid for that!!!

Riff Raff: Riff Raff likes costumes that are both exciting and make him feel very sexy and elegant!!! His absolute favorite one that he's done is Von Rothbart from the ballet Swan Lake!! (Specifically the version with the jet black bodysuit with lots of shiny silver markings, fancy wings, and the headpiece!!! Andrei Yermakov NAILED this look for example!!!) And to say that Riff felt FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC in that outfit would be an understatement!!! Riff loves wearing it to Halloween events that allow him to get drunk and laid!!! He likes to spend his evening going crazy and then he'll grab a lot of candy and come back up to Magenta where they can compare/brag to each other about their Halloween body counts and then watch a scary movie together and eat candy!!! They'll usually at least take their makeup off first so they can fall asleep right afterwards!!! Also, he adores his costume, but he's gotta cover it up with a coat until he gets to where he's going because he's a character from a ballet and there is a non-zero chance that a trick or treating little girl is gonna see that and get super excited! And Riff absolutely cannot let anybody see just how much he finds that cute!!!

Magenta: Magenta takes the opportunity to switch out of sexy maid and into "sexy something else"!!! She's done sexy pirate, sexy nurse, sexy witch- pretty much everything!!! She loves to go use it to her advantage!!! When people are hitting on her, the rule is always "you must approach me with a good Halloween-themed pickup line!" Her costume usually won't last the night because she'll get drunk, accidentally rip it on something, and then be like, "who wants to see more of this sexy demon?" And it'll spiral from there!!! It usually works quite well in her favor!!! She usually does have to get Riff Raff to find some way to cover her up to bring her home, though! They'll always be at the same party so she's able to lean on him on that matter!!! Then she'll go home and do the scary movie thing I mentioned with Riff! She has a FANTASTIC time on Halloween and is widely regarded as a great time for others to be around as well! It's really amazing!!!

Columbia: Columbia is the member of the castle crew that likes to pass candy out to kids while it's light outside!!! She'll usually dress up as a Disney character for that and then have a sexy costume to change into once trick or treating ends for the night!!! Her favorite costume is her Tinkerbell costume!!! It's adorable and it was really easy to transition into her other costume after it!!! Sleeping Beauty was a bit of a hassle!!! She'll get excited at the kids, and once that's done, she usually plans something cool to do with Eddie!!! It's often a karaoke bar where they'll perform Halloween songs together!!! Columbia's favorite sexy costume was her "sexy creepy doll" look and Eddie went absolutely FERAL for that as well!!! She loves Halloween so much!!! She'll definitely consume LOTS of sugar!!! Like, she's definitely having so much fun in that regard and we love her for it!!!

Rocky: Rocky goes trick or treating in his massive inflatable costume so that nobody can realize that he's got the body of a grown man!!!! He has one for the Hulk and he likes to pretend that he's the strongest man in the world and nobody has the curiosity to inform him that he actually is!!!! Its adorable to see him pretend even though he already knows!!! He usually gets taken before the parties really start, so he doesn't get cut off!!! He gets lots of candy and is always really excited about the few people who give out something special and unique like cotton candy and full length candy bars!!!! He gets upset at the toothbrushes and boxes of raisins of course, but he's right to do so!!! He gets all nice and tucked in before the adult parties start and he's allowed to eat as much candy as he wants!!! He's fast asleep by party time and it's a fantastic night!!!

Eddie: Eddie gets himself ready while Columbia is still passing out candy to Trick or Treaters. What "gets himself ready" means is, he gets a new white t-shirt and jeans (items that he doesn't care about) and he either makes or buys, most likely buys, a SHITLOAD of fake blood and drenches himself in it!!! He'll then put some special effects makeup for gore on his face!!! Once she's ready, they'll go out to a karaoke bar and perform rock n roll remixes of Halloween songs!!! She'll be in something sexy, either brightly or lightly colored, and without a trace of gore anywhere and he will look like he's just invented gore!!! Their Monster Mash rock remix gets SO much attention and it is fully a miracle that Doctor Scott never needed to hear it!!! Eddie will dance and spin Columbia a whole lot as he sings!!! He finds A MILLION places for opt ups and the crowd goes WILD!!! Eddie loves Halloween. He has a fantastic time and performs a FANTASTIC show!!!!

Doctor Scott: Doctor Scott also passes out candy to trick or treaters!!! As a child, Eddie would always want to be something ridiculous like a crayon or traffic light and Doctor Scott would always pick something similarly out there to go with him!!! Nowadays, Doctor Scott has kept his funnier than average costumes to let the kids have a good laugh!!! All that time spent with Eddie made him realize just how much kids love it!!! The costume that's gotten him the most laughs throughout the years is his Santa costume!!! Santa for Halloween? Classic!!! He'll always bring it back out once the kids have aged out and he has new ones who'll be able to experience the joke this year!!!!! It's become his favorite too!!! He also loves and is loved for his cardboard box and push pin!!! He doesn't party after it's done and he takes an early night!!!! He trusts that Columbia will get Eddie home safe and in one piece, so he feels okay to fall asleep! And he's right!!!

The Criminologist: The thing about Halloween is that there's always a new Halloween lore rabbit hole to fall down!!! He'll spend the night eating lots of candy straight from the bag and falling right down one!!! There's so much mystery and intrigue and he's so in love with it all!!! He does pass out candy to children, but usually he'll find some fun way to just adjust to his suit a bit so that he's got more time for his rabbit hole!!! He's gotten away with SO many action movie heroes that way!!! He's an icon for it!!! All he really needs to add is shades!!! He's gotten more creative throughout the years though and has even changed his suit in total for some!!!! His favorite costume that he's done is Willy Wonka!!! He has a great time and then goes back to dive down a Halloween history rabbit hole and eat lots of candy!!! And he has a PHENOMENAL time! And it sounds like a whole lot of fun!!!

[egirling]

one direction.

i think i’m still grieving what happened; ever since liam has passed there’s not been a single day where i haven’t thought about the 5 boys that overtook my life when i was 12. i was a diehard fan, still am. if it wasn’t for them; i wouldn’t of met my closest friend. they had such an impact on my life and i genuinely cannot process what happened.

i never thought that i would be this sad at a member passing; but i also think that i never ever thought to fully understand that it’ll happen one day. i handle death well but for some reason this death has struck me.

as a 24 year old, i feel for the 12 year old girl who started liking them. who had her walls covered in posters, wrote fanfiction, ran a 1D fan page on facebook and twitter, the one who cried when zayn left and when they all unfortunately split away from the band. i remember the little girl who would get salty when people typed ‘1d’ instead of of ‘1D’, the girl who stayed up late to watch songs be released, the girl who truly thought these 5 guys were the best thing to happen to her.

i remember listening to up all night and getting sad when stole my heart came on; because i knew the album was ending. but luckily i was fortune enough to own the physical album so i could just rewind it. i did that for years since i never owned another album on cd.

i also feel for that little girl; i remember being sad when i saw people attending 1D concerts knowing i never got the opportunity to as a child. as an adult; sure but… a reunion is unspoken for currently. i get sad when i realize that i’ll never see 5/5 live, but i saw a tiktok comment saying that i at least experienced the fandom at its prime and that i lived during it, and that’s enough for me to feel a connection to them. it makes me feel better.

i know that death is natural and happens to everyone, but i was not expecting to handle the loss of someone i worshiped as a child. i know he’s just a celebrity, would never know i existed and all of that but genuinely this has struck me in a way i never expected. it’s like part of my childhood has been torn away from me; like my younger self is heartbroken by liam and what happened. (maybe this has to do with the trauma ive dealt with in my life? but that’s something i gotta discuss with my psychiatrist.)

1D and all the members will always have a spot in my heart and soul for the chapter of my life that they were in, i’m genuinely so grateful for them in multiple ways. i remember when little things came out and that was in my peak of my self harming, and hearing them sing about things i hated about myself struck me when i was younger. obviously, when i was a child it felt more personal compared to being an adult, but it still helped. i don’t think i self harmed for awhile after that song.

i love the fact that i got to experience them as a band, and the fact that im living in a life with their solo careers as well. i’m ever so proud of them and how they’ve grown.

as for liam, i do miss him as weird as it might be. i never knew him, never would but he was … almost a positive influence on me and my younger self. i didn’t have much direction growing up, but i knew listening to their songs or watching videos of them that i would feel content. an escape maybe.

i don’t know. i can’t sleep and it’s almost midnight and i needed to get this off my chest. i think i just needed to vent and say my peace and words to accept what’s happened.

this blog started as a 1D blog 💀

i know there’s millions of fans who are deeply affected by this as well, and if anyone even reads this i just want you to know your feelings and thoughts are completely valid, grief affects everyone differently. he was a huge part of life for MANY people out there. take care of yourself. listen to some songs and cry; everything will be okay.

(i don’t think i can do this 4 more times)

there’s a day i’ll be older than him and that’s weird… i don’t like that thought. it was never supposed to be that.

i would like to believe that liam is content wherever he is right now.

all the love, sarah / egirling

[papermint-airplane]

List 5 facts about a favorite sim of yours, and send this to 10 simblrs whose sims you adore ♥♥♥

Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe 😈

I picked Uriah this time and I had to wait to answer this because I wanted to do a whole photoshoot for it. I had to be extra. He demands it.

🖤 Uriah Voss 💜

I cannot pronounce his name correctly in my accent. 🤣 Instead of Yoo-rye-uh, it comes out sounding like Yoo-rah. It's funny because I was originally going to name him a different super old-fashioned old man name (Ira, if you're curious, which I also can't pronounce correctly in my accent) but when the game randomly generated Uriah, it was too perfect to pass up. I don't think anyone has been named Uriah since like the 1800s but it suits him so well somehow. Voss was also randomly generated by the game which I kept because I just thought it was kind of pretty sounding and fit nicely with his wack-ass first name.

2. Uriah is an only child...at least for now. He likes to say that's because when the Watcher saw how perfect he was, she broke the mold so he could never be duplicated. While it's true that he is perfect, I've cloned him in two different save files and saved him to the bin, so technically speaking there are three of this lil gremlin boy. Lord help us all. I haven't made him any siblings or other family members and I don't know if I ever will but if a story opportunity presents itself in the future, there's no telling what kind of relatives he'll suddenly spawn! 😈

3. If it wasn't immediately obvious, Uriah loves fashion. He craves attention and if his clothes aren't constantly screaming "look at me," he might actually shrivel up and die. He's constantly experimenting with his look, sometimes to ridiculous extremes, and he likes to push the envelope as far as gender norms are concerned. While he likes the looks he gets, he actually doesn't really care much what people think of him. If he wants to wear a dress and heels, he will. If he wants to wear a bat kigurumi, he will. If he wants to wear nothing at all...well...that one might actually get me in trouble, but I wouldn't put it past him.

4. Uriah's sexuality is complicated. You could say he's bi, you could say he's pan, you could say he's a lot of things. Honestly, he's just attracted to pretty Sims with nice clothes, regardless of their gender. He's not totally shallow and he does want to find his soul mate and have a loving relationship, blah blah blah, but you gotta look good if you're going to be his partner! Casual dressers need not apply.

5. Uriah might not be entirely...human. 👉👈 What do I mean by that? Who's to say? 😇

[littlemisssquiggles]

Oscar's Undisclosed Birthday

So…m’good friend @jealouscartoonist just shared with me this new cameo from Miles talking about Oscar’s birthday and this squiggly Pinehead is just all smiles now.

Listening to Miles describe with such pure joy an ideal birthday for Oscar was the big kick of serotonin that I didn’t know I needed until I listened to the whole thing. Shoutout to whoever this Sarah person who sent in this cameo is. Thank you for doing the Pinehead community another solid.

This just makes me more salty that Oscar was NEVER EVER added to RWBY Chibi since Miles’ description of “Oscar’s Undisclosed Birthday” is just perfect for as a concept for another wholesome episode of the series that’s Oscar-worthy. Even calling the episode “Oscar’s Undisclosed Birthday” seems perfect as an appropriate title.

Miles made my night with this cameo. It’s everything I wanted for how Oscar would spent his special day (minus actually GIVING US HIS CANON birthday) and I love how Miles dropped more cute tidbits about Oscar as a character too.

Oscar’s favourite breakfast is waffles (and how his big sis Nora would actually make a big pile for him).

Apparently Oscar has trouble sleeping sometimes because of Oz being in his head so Ren gifting him a pair of headphones to drown out the voice of the old headmaster would be useful. Miles basically admitted that Oz is a chatterbox. Makes me think of that “Brain Before Sleep” meme only replace the brain with Oz XD  That’s the first thing that popped into my head. Thanks for that imagery Miles.

Oscar loves going to the movies especially Spruce Lee (LOL) films which he shares in common with Jaune and that’s how they bond.

Yang would take Oscar on a fun day at the amusement park where they’d ride all the rides that he’s now tall enough to ride (another LOL from me because they always gotta poke fun that my little prince is a short king)---that would be a thing Yang would do and I cannot picture Oscar turning that down since, in the words of Ruby, Oscar is braver than he thinks and we have seen moments of Oscar being more daring than he looks so he totally would not pass up an opportunity to ride all the rides especially if Yang is the one pushing him to do it.

So the “Girl Who Fell Through the World” is confirmed to be Oscar’s favourite childhood fairytale---and Blake getting him a second edition of it is cute being the book-worm that she is.

I also love the bit with Weiss panicking about not knowing what to get Oscar so she just gives him a lumpsome of money and Oscar being floored by it since he’s never had that amount of money in his life---that fits beautifully.

And of course, gotta love how Miles saved the best gift for last. Ruby gifting Oscar a new co-op videogame that they both end up spending the rest of his birthday playing til they both crash the morning after (Oscar first) is more than a perfect way to conclude Oscar’s birthday in my Rosegarden-shipping books.

*chef’s kiss*

Didn’t even realize that Oscar liked playing videogames. Didn’t know he had them back on the farm. This just makes me think back to his reaction to Ruby’s videogame comment back in V6. Puts the whole moment in a new context for me XD

All in all, Miles made me a happy Pinehead tonight.

~LMS (2023)

[god-disposes]

gotta ask about the Piano Man wip!!

- @hmstartnell 🐻‍❄️

for the WIP game: tell us about the Piano man except they're not all depressed feat. hodge cause I need every Hodge possible from @thesmartestpotato

Okay so we all know the Piano Man edit (which I cannot track down for the life of me right now) but then Christos Lawton, the absolute madlad, goes and adds it to his own Hodge playlist and then I was like okay alright I NEED to write this. I know the actual song Piano Man is about a bunch of people who are all kinda miserable and just shuffling through life, and I want to let these poor boys just be happy and enjoy a night out for once! That's where the wip title of piano man but they're not all depressed comes from.

George is between 'real' jobs right now but he works nights as a bar pianist at a place owned by Francis. I'm trying to assign each of the characters in the song to one of our cold boys and so far:

The piano man- Hodge, of course

The manager- Ned, poor guy was always doomed to end up here

The old man sitting next to me- John Ross, because I will never pass up an opportunity to make fun of him for the fake mountains

Waitress practicing politics- law student Silna who's definitely had to help get the entire establishment out of a rough spot or two

John at the bar- the obvious choice here is Jirv (he gets Hodge his drinks for free cause he's hopelessly in love with the hot piano player) but I think Blanky could also be a kickass bartender

Paul the real estate novelist- originally this was going to be Jirv and Davy was going to be Ned, but then I made Ned the manager, so. I'll take suggestions!

Davy who's still in the navy- I really want this to be Sol but I've also fit him in somewhere else, so we'll see

The businessmen who are slowly getting stoned- either the marines or some of the older explorers from this same era (Parry, Ross, etc)

And now after all my yapping, an actual excerpt from this for you!

Francis Crozier is the bar owner who only occasionally bothers to poke his head in to see how things are running. He’s ex-military, navy or something, and there’s a betting pool with the staff trying to figure out what the man’s backstory actually is. George has a good bit of money invested in the theory that he’s some sort of James Bond type spy who’s been on secret missions to the furthest reaches of earth, which Edward says falls solidly into the or something category. His son Thomas is usually the one who keeps an eye on things, though, because Crozier does seem to spend most of his time gallivanting around the world with his husband (wife? Unclear, as George has never actually met the oft-mentioned-but-never-seen Jas) and is only rarely back in London. “You’re literally dating his son,” George complains as he pulls off his scarf and gloves. “That doesn’t get you a single extra key privilege for your best friend so I'm not waiting out in the cold?” “He barely seems to remember I exist on a good day,” Edward grumbles. “So, no.” “And yet I’m here more often than he is and he doesn’t even pay me.” “Hodge,” Ned says very seriously, “You make more in tips on a good night than the rest of us combined.”

[artigas]

in many respects, these past few weeks in my phd program have been some of the most miserable in my entire life. institutions, academia included, cannot love you back and i am learning that in very personal, difficult, and tangible ways. there have been so many moments where i've completely and utterly understood why people give up on doctorate programs. ever since passing comps, i feel like i've had one moment of thinking i can't possibly be more stressed or anxious or uncomfortable until i'm confronted with the next. but here are some small joys:

i won an award for that dracula paper i wrote about blood transfusions. second place in the entire graduate program! hurray!

i published an essay last winter and now i'm in conversation with the person that essay is about, who not only read and loved the paper, but might want to commission me to write more. i have his number in my phone. i might have a really stunning professional opportunity on the other end of our scheduled phone conversation!

i got invited to a conference that is in a totally different field than what i studied. this could be because the conference is that desperate for papers (a real possibility) but maybe this also means that my Poe paper wasn't all that bad if my first attempt at writing something in the medieval field was good enough to warrant being invited to present it. i submitted my paper and haven't yet gotten the confirmation that it got accepted, but the prospect of going to my first conference -- and being personally invited to do so no less! -- is really nice

last, i applied to my first conference (in which i wasn't directly invited to attend), too!! there's a horror conference in new mexico that i'd kill to go to (no pun intended, i'm writing about a slasher film for this one lol) and well .. who knows if they'll accept but i'm so proud of myself for applying in the first place!

UPDATE: I JUST GOT AN EMAIL TELLING ME THAT MY HORROR PAPER GOT ACCEPTED THE SAME FUCKIN DAY I APPLIED. AHH!!

this is all to say ... i have to remember what a good friend said today: just because i'm having a horrible time doesn't mean i'm horrible at this. i gotta muscle through. i can do hard things. it won't be this difficult forever.