#i was like theres no fucking way theyre going to make me watch this latin man hit blake lively on my screen
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They made the abusive husband in It Ends With Us brown btw. Yeah the good guy childhood best friend character is still white. Yeah.
#literally jaw dropped watching the trailer like theres no fucking way#but there it is#i was like theres no fucking way theyre going to make me watch this latin man hit blake lively on my screen#and then they fucking did
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thoughts while watching the first harry potter:
listen i started this list a little late im ngl but notable thoughts so far are me thinking of dumbledore as a gay idiot and still loving hagrid
do you think hes speaking in parseltongue in the zoo when hes speaking to the snake
forgot boats existed
these idiots do scream a lot dont they
i forgot how light hearted this universe really is in the first couple movies
yer a wizard harry, okay hagrid maybe slide him into it a little better
we get it tuney you have fucking trauma, doesnt mean you should abuse a child
hasnt everyone had their name down since they were born, hagrid? theres a list
i like that his umbrella is pink
are you paying for those damages hargid? stop taking the door off the hinges
though, if the dursleys are, keep breaking shit
speaking about dragons on the the fucking tube, its a miracle harry didnt get in trouble with the ministry sooner
what is hagrid's usual? does anyone know???
fucking Quirrell, cant wait for your epic love story with the dark lord
maybe we should tell the 12 year old how the fuck everyone knows his name, just maybe
they do a great job of getting the wonder down pat
how much money and licensing do you think it took for them to get all these owls on set
ahh yes, antisemitism the bank
how many vaults are in gringotts?? also if harry's vault is the potters vault, a literal like sacred 28 family, one of the original families, and its number 600 something, how many were there before the potters?? did the potters get a vault recently? or is this james and lily's vault?? how rich were james and lily if so??
look at ollivander, crazy tinker uncle, love him
this might be the socialist in me but why do people have to pay for wands if everyone needs one??
why is the dark lords twin wand just sitting around on the shelf, ollie me boy??
do you think thats Harry's true wand or do you think thats because of the horcux thing?? do you harry had to get another wand after he died?? did he? i dont remember the last movie
is ollie me boys actor wearing contacts or are his eyes just like that??
thats a very weird way of showing Halloween 81, very misleading
hagrid said ill predict voldys rise in the first movie so we can have some plot development
hagrid is late to everything isnt he? i can feel it in my bones
i swear ive seen these movies, and ive even read the first book, i just dont remember shit
youd think theyd have someone in the know stationed close to the entrance for the platform, for any muggleborns
ginnys actress really had no fucking lines in this movie did she, just had to stand there
oh wait she said good luck
amazing work ginny
ooh a warm filter
can muggles see the express? like just running from london to scotland
wicked!
you didnt have to show the woman the sad sandwich ron
i think the trolly replenishes magically, i think thats how thats how that works, i want to believe that
god i cant tell if i would love or hate hermione, shes pretentious but so was i at that age
god dont fucking point your wand right in someones face mione
how does mione know who harry is?? why does she care?
look at the tiny first years, might just go and pinch theyre cheeks
MINNIEEEE i love you minnie
looking stunning minnie, the green brings out the sternness in your brow
you go minnie, give your speech, thats my head of house
shut up draco, youre not bond
you pretentious fuckwit, your hair is brassy anyways
if this is a class of kids born in the middle of a war, how big are the usual class sizes wtf
THE FUCKING CLAP
fucking propaganda ron, you slytherin hater
what order are these names going in, did they just randomized the list
oooh we get quiet for the boy who lived, jesus let him keep living
the fact that for the rest of these people its just silent is so fucking funny to me, Harry's just fucking whispering to himself
get their attention minnie
me dads a muggle, mums a witch, bit of a shock for him when he found out
NICK, love to see you buddy
i have no emotional attachment to peeves but i feel i should mention him here
the stairs still piss me off, why the fuck would you make moving stair cases
who sets out gloves for the next day? am i the weird one who doesnt??
Minnie, you are the love of my life
shut up snape you dramatic bloodpurist incel
i know theyre setting him up to be mistaken as the villain but jesus christ hes still an asshole
your robes Neville, you forgot your robes
its weird how they have to learn all these latin charms yet only have to say up to get their brooms to work
why wont you go after him, hes obviously not exactly in control, Hooch
does Hooch only teach first years? she is quite literally the equivalent of a history teacher who coaches football
what the fuck is Quirells classroom
they dont make the house teams because no first years can try out, Ron
MINNIE PLAYED QUIDDITCH?!?!? WHY DIDN'T I KNOW THIS
why didnt you speak up earlier Mione wtf
bc the fire wont give you away, harry, better hide
FLUFFY, WHOS A GOOD BOY
they have much worse things locked up in the school, Ron
Oliver wood is a bloody liar because i still dont fuckign understand quidditch, also theres like 500 rules, wtf
thats a shitty explanation of how the game works, Oliver
BLOW IT UP SEAMUS
SHES TWO FEET BEHIND YOU RON YOU IDIOT
carrot cake? on halloween?
dont shrug as if you didnt literally bully her ron
thought youd oughta know, bit of an understatement Quirell
no duh the trolls left the dungeon ron
lying: the best start to any friendship
we're at a net zero points for gryffindor for the year at the moment
the amount of interaction these kids have with professors is so weird to me, is this what small class size do to kids?? its weird
not comforting Oliver
Okay i understand Oliver simps now, I get it okay
are there no backups or subs for quidditch? feels like there should be, like of all the games
set him on fire mione, i know hes not the villain of the movie but god he sucks
fancy flying from harry fucking potter
okay but also i feel like there are some things we should not trust hagrid with, like hes not that great at keeping secrets
why is harry excited about christmas if he thinks hes not getting presents? i knw there are other aspects but like thats the only reasont o get up early
i always remember this scene at night for some reason??
not just an invisibility cloak, THE invisibility cloak ron
btw who gives it to harry? is it remus? is it dumbledore? is it like an inheritance thing? whats up with that?
there are jumpscares in harry potter
he very much can hide, filch
stop being a narc mrs norris
does harry even know what his parents look like at this point? how does he know who the fuck is in the mirror of erised?? he doesnt have that stupid scrapbook yet does he
oh they nod, sure lets clear up that plot hole
they shouldve put sirius and remus in the mirror in that scene, shown his whole family, wouldve been a nice setup
how does rupert grint already look so tired as a twelve year old
big speech to give to a twelve year old Dumbledore, when you wont even tell him what you see
Emma really does just slam that book on Daniels hand, thats mustve fucking sucked
the fact that ive watched two movies that had Nicholas Flamel in two very different roles this year is very strange to me
well thats probably on account of it being a fucking dragon egg hagrid, now isnt it?
was hagrid a hufflepuff? i think he was, maybe a ravenclaw
yes four, you blonde idiot
that shot is really nice, it sets them apart
what happened to filch to make him such a miserable man?
ooh mention of werewolves, awooo werewolves of london
yeah just dip your whole hand in hagrid, dont be scared of the strange liquid, take a nice little bath
i loev that dog, i want that dog, i want to hug that dog
god just the look of that forest is so bloody cool
wait so is that quirell walking fucking backwards?
maybe ask who the fuck youre talking to before asking other questions??? wtf harry
why are yout talking to the centaur like hes your old friend harry, youve literally never met him before
snape doesnt want the stone at all Harry
god hagrid you sweet stupid man
snape is completely valid for that, if a twelve year old ever looked at me like that i would punch them
Do you think people ever loose invisibility cloaks? like theyre invisible do you think they ever just never get found again
i hate the look of the dog spit, that is so gross
they really left everything in except for the fucking potions didnt they, damn
harry potter walked so queens gambit could run
hermione, posted up
rons stupid in the later movies because he got a concussion as a twelve year old
god harry really posted up to beat up snape in fucking khakis
"I knew you were a danger to me!" Hes twelve, Quirell
let me wait for this weird dude to unravel his head scarf instead of running away
the magic in this movie is real fucking conditional isnt it
just some casual necromancy for the stone? you sure about that voldy, you two faced bitch?
let me choke out this twelve year old real quick
oh yeah why is he able to just avengers endgame Quirell? is there an answer to that? like was that ever found out
do you think voldy passing by him while he hold the stone actually killed him but since he holds the stone hes functionally unkillable and then some magic gets put into him and thats why he can return to life later when he actually goes to the whole afterlife place?
ohhh we're vouching on the blood magic for the endgaming of Quirell
do you think dumbledore came across the vomit flavored bean before or after his sister died?
Mione's got a headband! Looking snazzy!
how did Hufflepuff only get 352 points? Gryffindor literally lost 150 points this year and they only beat them by 50, wtf, is it because they kept getting caught with weed
I wont even speak on the fucking outrage that is this point awarding, its already been spoken on. However, Neville shouldve gotten more points
What if someone just stood up and started challenging Dumbledores math, that would be so funny
some of these extras are really attractive
but james potter is somehow so fucking ugly why did they do that to my mans
hagrid deserves the last shot of this film, i love him, he deserves everything, that stupid sweet man
#harry potter#sorcerer's stone#harry potter and the sorcerer's stone#harry potter and the philosopher's stone#hermione granger#ron weasley#k mumbles#fred weasley#george weasley#ginny weasley#hagrid#rubeus hagrid#albus dumbledore#long post#james potter#sirius black#remus lupin
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hi!!! I’m a puertorriqueño/nicaragüense enby looking into resources for learning bruja stuff, any good place you know to start?
I’ve gotten a couple of asks about this lately, and i’m so happy to know there are more latinos finding their way to the practice, tumblr’s brujeria tag often gives the impression that theres so little of us out there reclaiming our practices but getting asks like these brings me a lot of faith that thats not true :) first and foremost:
GETTING INTO BRUJERIA IS HARD.
it really is. baby brujos like us know that better than anyone- getting started, is often the hardest part of doing anything, and its no different with brujeria. it can feel so overwhelming and feeling lost is natural. from my experience, although i am still a newbie ive been able to find a lot of information out there, here are the best places to find info, sorted by priority:
FAMILY! a little self explanatory, but brujeria at its best is truly is an inherited, familial practice. If you can, before delving into internet resources, definitely connect w your family if you’re able to and ask them for guidance and about their experiences!
Your family is always the best resource over anything you can find online; theres so much misinformation out there or information not relevant to your region and if someone in your family already has established practices, always trust them first
Do some thinking back to all your cultural traditions, quirks, stories, and superstitions that you’ve learned from your family across time and never thought too much about- and rediscover them under a new light
KEEP IN MIND: brujeria is NOT a singular , concrete practice w concrete rules in itself, the term blankets a lot of traditions across latam, the caribbean, mexico, but imo its always best to stick with brujeria related to your heritage and where your connection is.
this can be hard for people (like me!) with huge family taboos toward brujeria that make it unsafe to ask around about, and/or limitations in family connections (also like me unfortunately). I personally can really only get the tidbits and stories that my family accidentally slips out when I occasionally see them. i try to write them down as much as possible, but the info i can get is limited... and thats where the following comes in.
ONLINE COMMUNITIES. i.e, youtube, tumblr, instagram brujx communities. notice I haven’t said “internet” in general- the reason why i trust community based social media more than random individual websites you find on google is because, in the case of brujeria and honestly any non-european craft, you’re often gonna find a LOT of white people writing blogs, books, etc about their “spiritual experiences” in latam countries and wrongly/incorrectly taking ATR or indigenous traditions (like with smudging). I know, with social media, although those same white people are also on insta and tumblr, it’s a LOT easier to see the face behind the accounts and differentiate who to trust, who’s legit and has real experience to share, rather than a nameless, faceless, website that is actually some colonizer sharing colonized ideas who thinks theyre on a spiritual journey taking traditions all willy nilly. And the fact that in social media, its much easier to find a lot of good brujas at once bc they tend to follow each other lmao.what ive personally done to find information tho is essentially SCOUR tumblrs, insta accs, and watching tons of youtube videos for posts, accounts, videos, etc, and narrowing down good info from there through , namely:
CHECKING WHO YOUR SOURCE IS!!!
ASKING YOURSELF FROM WHAT EXPERIENCE THEYRE SPEAKING FROM
ALWAYS TAKING EVERYTHING WITH A GRAIN OF SALT
AND STICKING TO INFO FROM CULTURES OPEN AND RELEVANT TO ME.
again, brujería is different depending on where your family is from in latam, and if you have an established connection to indigenous and/or black roots, so it’s useful to use keywords relating to that when searching (like if ur black, you can look into ATRs(african traditional religions) which tend to mix deeply with brujeria, if ur indigenous, finding other people from your tribe is great, and if youre not pursuing your already learned traditions you can think about connecting to them more deeply(altho indigenous traditions are their own thing, sometimes they do mix with brujeria too), and apart from familial roots, if ur catholic/christian and/or want to explore it, saint work/catholic brujeria might be a good fit for you!)
tumblr: there are a couple of fantastic brujxs on this site with great blogs and resources who have sadly left the site, but i still go through their posts heavily for spells, rituals, scraps of info! etting started w brujería is hard bc there’s really not that much info out there right now, but i compile as many good brujeria posts i find on my acc.
@brujeria-n-bongs great for catholic brujeria, now at @Upliftherbs on instagram
@brujeria-lost @barberwitch @reina-morada @highbrujita
@naomi121406 is by far the most active and informative tumblr resource ive found, shes an afro-indigenous diaguita curandera from argentina so shes also really helpful if ATRs are in your path!
Im not black myself and dont follow ATRs so i don’t really know many good blogs for afrolatine brujxs out there but if anyone would like to tag some in the replies thatd be awesome!
instagram: Ive found that instagram #brujeria tags has a pretty healthy active stream of posts. You’re gonna have to sift through a lot of them to get to the good stuff though- imo a lot of hispanics use the brujería tag not to mean “latine brujería” but just the spanish word for witchcraft, so a lot of white hispanics will put wicca/neo witchcraft in the tag. imo that’s really not something i’m personally interested in bc it’s not true to brujeria’s traditional nature, is very white/eruropean , and that wicca shit basically just got here. its a relatively a recent thing😭 so i try to stick to bruja accounts that aren’t influenced by that.
youtube: The youtube brujería tag is hit or miss? and again, contains a lot of wicca. But there are some good practitioners on there like The Mexican Witch! You just gonna look around, and dont be afraid to click on videos by really really small youtubers; they often are the ones with the most informative and legit things to say!
Everyone’s path as a bruja/o/x (sjdf trying to be inclusive w gendered language is difficult) is different but here are some topics i think are great to look into as a beginner!
ancestors: start at the bottom and figure out who they are, where theyre from, and set up an altar. it’ll help you a lot with figuring out your identity and path as a bruja later on.
setting up a grimoire
divination: tarot is actually what got me into brujeria at first! tarot isnt strictly traditional and is european in itself but its a wonderful tool for connecting to dieties, saints, etc as well as super fun and helps a lot with introspection
ritual abrecaminos, aka road opening spells!
amarres (love spells... proceed with caution)
limpias, mal de ojo
saint work: even if you’re not catholic (im ex catholic), a growing number of us (especially lgbt latines like @/upliftherbs on instagram) are starting to take back and decolonize our view of saints like La Virgen Maria and removing her from the rigid european/colonized interpretation thats been forced into us
candle spells in general (i fucking love candles tbh, cheap, easy, fun, and WORKS)
spiritual colognes, how to cleanse
finally, here are some helpful posts yall should definitely read and think about moving forward!
about using tumblr as a resource
about looking into brujeria as a part-white part latine
bruja psa + about reclaiming lost indiginety
honestly naomi’s entire brujeria tag is great and super informative for beginners and basically holds answers for almost anything at this point
hope this post helps yall out!
EDIT: oh lord now that this is posted the outline format i tried to use is all kinds of fucked up please dont mind the odd numbering lmfao tumbr hates organized formats
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tag game!
i got tagged by @villalunae ! thanks babe xoxo
Nickname: Nina, Ninchen, Kaninchen, and then theres also Weirder ones but those are all german injokes i have with my irl friends and family. so. DM me for details lhgkjfdf
Zodiac sign: scorpio
Height: im gonna say 1,70m and pretend that thats uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh around 5′8 or some shit
Hogwarts House: ravenclaw!
Last thing I googled: ”apollo temple palatine” bc our docent had told a Funny Anecdote about it and i had to check (said anecdote being that the house of emperor augustus had a private passageway directly into the temple and so ppl accused augustus of being roommates with his chosen patron god apollo)(oh my gd they were roommates)
Favorite artists: hozier is UP there right now, but ofc regina spektor remains an all time fave, as well as uuuhhh sufjan stevens and others
Song stuck in my head: “No Plan” from Hozier’s Wasteland, Baby! (ive fallen into shipping hell with Good Omens so now all my brain has been playing for DAYS is that album interspersed with Queen)
Following: 101 -cocks gun- okay one of those has to GO
Followers: 299! ayyyyyee i hadnt even noticed im that close to the 300 milestone. time to make Spartan Jokes
Do you get asks: very rarely, and the latest was some fuck trying to tell me im Straight bc im aspec. theyre usually better than that but. ya feel.
Amount of sleep: Terrible, Currently. IDEALLY id get 7,5h each night with an occasional 6h and 9h on the weekends. PRACTICALLY im getting 7,5h on the weekends and 6h/4,5h in the week. also were starting into exam month rn so -shakes 8-ball of fortune- Outlook Not So Good
Lucky number: 12 is a nice number :^)
What you’re wearing: idk man, jeans, t-shirt and a cardigan. the hot weather has overridden my German Need To Be Bundled The Fuck Up
Dream job: i deadass dont know how to answer that. is being a Hermit a job. can i be that. is that an option
Dream trip: kinda wanna explore more foreign countries, kinda just wanna do Heimaturlaub and explore all of germany (and german-adjacent). like i could go for some north sea vacation on Sylt rn, or a week in switzerland, or a couple days of chilling at the Bodensee
Instrument: i DID do piano once and then never went anywhere with that. and i DID do very groundworks kinda shit with like. flutes n ukulele over one summer, And Then Never Went Anywhere With That. if i had my pick tho id love to be able to play an ancient greek instrument. for the Aesthetic™
Language(s): german and english fluent, my latin is Getting there, i really should attend some more to my greek and sanskrit and hebrew, and i remember fuck all about chinese and french. But Id Like To
Favorite songs: this has no fixed answer but im just gonna pick Warm Foothills by alt-j rn bc that song is VERY calming on one hand, has very like. “strong sunlight thru thick birch canopy at the edge of a sparkling little pond that ur dangling ur feet into” vibes, and it has overwhelmingly positive associations for me
Random fact: did you know that the proto indo-european language had no reconstructable way of expressing the Future or the passive voice, but it DID have two distinct words for Farting Softly and Farting Loudly. Priorities.
Aesthetic: honestly, just kinda the places and what not surrounding my hometown. like esp the natural little spots full of trees and rivers and sunlight and high grass thatd id go exploring on my way home from school, esp during my last summer at highschool. ALSO standing in a forest of high standing pine trees on a grey autumn day, and watching and hearing the tops sway in the wind, and suddenly feeling like youre standing at the bottom of a Sea of trees looking up at the surface. I Like Forests
im TIRED and gay so im not gonna bother tagging anyone rn, but my mutuals are invited to feel tagged As Always, as are my followers bc why the heck not
#this was fun#tagging#but i could also so legit go for a nap rn#ugh why is my work never done#a personal blogging experience
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‘Feud’ star Jackie Hoffman on being a character actor: ‘Aging isnt as frightening for us as it is for the pretty people’
Jackie Hoffman steals the show as Mamacita.
Image: Kurt Iswarienko/FX.
Youd have to possess a pretty colorful character, not to mention some serious acting chops, to steal scenes away from Jessica Lange while she’s channeling screen diva Joan Crawford. Fortunately, Jackie Hoffman has both.
From the moment she makes her first appearance in Feud: Bette and Joan, you cant take your eyes off Hoffmans tightly-wound but infinitely patient Mamacita Crawfords sternly Teutonic live-in housekeeper, valet, mother confessor and all around Gal Friday, who is never far from the movie stars side and always faithfully and fiercely on her side, even when Crawford believes no one else is.
Mamacita is, delightfully, a true-life construct: Anna Marie Brinke was Crawfords German-born maid/personal assistant, hired shortly before the actress began mounting her planned comeback in What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? Brinke came recommended by her own daughter, one of her nine children and a maid to a Westhampton neighbor of Crawfords: she impressed the star with her preference for scrubbing floors on her hands and knees over using a mop.
SEE ALSO: ‘Feud: Bette and Joan’ is about so much more than Hollywood’s most infamous catfight
According to Crawford, the Latin-flavored nom de guerre was bestowed upon Brinke because the actress had just returned from a Brazilian vacation in Rio de Janeiro and obsessively added a -cita suffix to everything upon her return. Mamacita would remain in Crawfords service, often contentiously, until a fateful moment in 1974 when she decided to return to her native Germany because she was, as her grandson later related it, tired of having things thrown at her.
Hoffman has a work ethic to rival the real Mamacitas. A veteran of Chicagos fabled Second City comedy troupe who headlined many solo shows, she went on to become an award-winning force off and on Broadway, with star turns in productions including The Sisters Rosensweig, Hairspray, Xanadu and The Addams Family, with occasional forays to Hollywood for film and TV appearances in the likes of Kissing Jessica Stein, Garden State, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and 30 Rock.
And, as Mashable learned during our freewheeling conversation with the actress, in sharp contrast to Mamacitas minimalist approach to communication, shes a conversational tour de force as well.
You had us at hello with Mamacita.
Does Mamacita ever say hello? I dont think hello is a word that comes out of her mouth.
What got you excited about her when the role came your way?
Oh my lord have mercy! First of all, the audition material was so secret that all the names were changed, so they didnt use the name Crawford, they didnt use the name Mamacita. Then I found out later what it was and I had bought, in my 20s, a copy of Joan Crawfords [1971 advice book] My Way of Life, and the gay man inside me, pardon the expression, knew exactly what it was and fell in love with it.
I remember her talking about Mamacita, and then when I heard the characters name is Mamacita, at first I was a little freaked out, because I said, Oh my God, Im playing a Hispanic woman! And then I remembered I was, like, Holy crap Mamacita! Oh my God! There are no adjectives to describe how I felt at that point, just with the whole thing. I still cant get over it.
I was looking up some information on her, and Mamacitas German maiden name was in fact, Hoffman.
Yes, it was, spelled the Jewish way with two Fs and one N. Which is comforting, because I like to think she was Jewish because if not, judging from her age, she was a Nazi.
Did you go on treasure hunt looking for more bits and pieces of information about her once the job was yours?
Im not that dedicated an artist. My treasure hunt consisted of hitting a key on Google and looking at My Way of Life and just making it up on my own.
When you thought about who she was and how you wanted to play her, what was the key into her? When did that big lightbulb go off over your head?
I dont know the lightbulb may still have not gone off. I took German, clean, and putting up with Joan Crawford, and that was all I needed to know.
Youd read Crawfords book had you been a little bit of a student of her at any point?
Im more of a slob, but I remembered things like packing with tissue paper in the sleeves, and if I ever made a dinner with like fish and cauliflower, I always remember, [imitates Crawfords voice] Dont put two white foods on the same plate. Then, whenever I take a picture, I remember from reading this in her book: Always look up and to the right. So I am a student of Joans.
Mamacita is not wholly a broad comic caricature, but theres something inherently funny when we meet her, just in juxtaposition to Joan Crawford.
Right. I think she provides a relief from the intensity of those two dames.
It must have been fun to figure out the rapport with Jessica Lange, and get how they were going to coexist and be codependent together.
Yes, as Jessica got more comfortable, she got more abusive, unfortunately! So youll see that as we unfold. Like, Oh, this is an actress I can fuck with.
Did you give it back?
I set a boundary.
We do learn that theres more depth to Mamacita than we might have guessed early on. How quickly did you know that about her and were able to prepare for?
I knew going in that she was a human being and she had to be fully rounded. Im cheap whore of an actor: Im barely in this episode. What the fuck? But yeah, theres such great writing on the show, and the wardrobe is genius, the wig was genius, the writings great, and that all helped a lot.
What do you think her function in the story of Feud is, ultimately?
She kind of plays a husband/friend/sounding board for Joan. Shes probably the only person that Joan really is herself with, and really tells the truth to. So we learn a lot about who Joan really is through Mamacita, I think. Theres a couple of episodes where shes wasted and says that Im the mother she never had, and youre the only friend Ive had. It gets really, really touching near the end. Like the last scene we shot together, it was just beautiful. So I think Joan shows her a side that she doesnt show anybody else. So it helps to tell the whole story.
It comes through that Mamacita really cares for her, and wants to protect her.
Yes, she does. I would think I would have some love for her, to put up with all of the shit that I put up with.
Throughout your career, have you seen Hollywood or celebrity-type figures with this kind of person at their side? Has that been a reality that youve noticed?
Oh wow, what a question! I know Ive seen people with posses and entourages. I just remember, one of my first movie events was the film I did in, like, 2000, Kissing Jessica Stein, and I remember this woman walking around there was an actor, a very talented actor named Scott Cohen in that movie, and he had this woman going, Hi, Im Scotts publicist
Oh my God, really? People had people around them. The very first pilot I did, like in the mid-’90s, people said My assistant. Im like, Really? Really? You have a personal assistant? So its just a phenomenon that I still cant get over.
SEE ALSO: ‘Feud’ star Jessica Lange on the ways Hollywood is still failing women
Youve had a tremendously prolific career, but I imagine you havent had to deal with the genuine burdens of fame, a lot of the BS that people have to deal with because of a super high profile.
Yeah, thats kind of you: nobody knows who the fuck I am enough to make my life trouble.
Is that the best way to do it?
Its mixed. I did this film I got replaced on with Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher, and I saw the press literally chase them like Dodi Fayed and Princess Di though the tunnel, like, on foot. Im like, Holy crap! The shit they have to deal with. So I would imagine its kind of a mixed blessing. I get letters from 13-year-olds wanting a Playbill signed by people more famous than me.
You have some substantial stuff in Feud. Tell me what that was like to be able to dive deep. She doesnt disappear often. Shes always kind of right there.
God bless Ryan [Murphy] and Tim Minear and Gina [Welch] and those writer/producers, man. God bless them! Because … as there were plenty of days where Im opening doors and handing people beverages, and I was like, Fuck this! Then Im the maid! It could have been like that.
But theyre so smart, and they so want to get their message across, and I was honored, especially like, I think this interview coincides with episode 4, which is where Im encouraging the lovely Alison Wright, about her script, and telling her about the future, about women in cinema, and women in media. Im so honored that I got to tell that message, that I so badly, of course, want to tell. Its an important thing that has to be told.
Look what happened: its turning around a little, but here we are 50 years later, and still no one gives a fuck. Its still such a male world. To be part of Team Ryan Murphy, whos doing everything they can to fight that, is just such a great thing.
It really is shocking how much this fifty-year-old story is resonating, especially here in L.A., where people are watching the show and seeing women literally facing some of the same problems as they were in 1962 Hollywood.
Right. Thats how it was so kismet, because Jessica and I, we both wanted to tell that story. And Jessica and Susan, like, they have careers like Crawford and Davis, where they were like, Fuck you, and they kept working. But both Jessica and Susan were like incredibly, breathtakingly beautiful. For beautiful women, usually youre just, like, fucked. Its over. But they got past it. They went beyond it and they conquered.
When youre in the ugly, unfuckable category like I am, well, We didnt want to fuck her when she was younger, so we might as well hire her when shes older. I think character women at least have that, not that there are many roles. Aging isnt as frightening for us as it is for the pretty people.
Have people in the industry been that crass to you in those terms, in the way that, say, a Jack Warner expresses himself about how he feels about Crawford and Davis?
No, nobody says the word unfuckable, but we know thats what its all about. I put things in the crudest terms. Im the Jack Warner, really.
Have you noticed how popular Mamacita has become? Shes all over the Internet.
No, I have no idea. Im not all over the Internet. I look at my three Twitter followers, and a couple of 15-year-olds are like, Go, Mamacita! I have no idea.
I think the phrase that they would use is breakout character.
Thats excellent. Yes, on Twitter, I call her MamaTweeta.
You got to step back into mid-century Hollywood for a bit what was the best part of that experience?
The whole thing was like a five-month gay mans orgasm. I kept emailing my friends like, Im not allowed to show you anything, but trust me… We werent allowed to take pictures, but even like a jar that they put cotton balls in every object, it was just a breathtaking world. Every costume, the attention paid to every detail, and the beauty. It was ridiculous.
My filthy fingerprints are on every object and every item of clothes because I kept touching everything. Look at this! Look! And, when this was done, I was like two years old. So it would rush like, Oh my God, my mother had something just like this and I remember this when I was a little girl So it had that also.
Everybody in Hollywood is lining up hoping to work with Ryan Murphy right now. He and his team are championing these stories about women that other people seemingly arent telling. Were there any other interesting discoveries about joining Ryans troupe?
Wow that may be too intelligent a question for me! It was a great lesson. Im always huge [in my performance]. Im really theater folk, and Ive done film and television work, but its always like, Bring it down, bring it down, bring it down. And Ryan, from day one, hes like, No, dont make it that cartoony. Shes German, she has purpose and this is just from handing a Pepsi bottle to Jessica for four hours.
He really was reining it in, and you saw that, even larger-than-life characters like Crawford and Davis, theyre people, and he wants everybody to be really real, and I think thats one reason why the things he does are so effective. He really comes from a place of truth. He really made me a better actor for it.
Feud: Bette and Joan airs Sundays at 10 p.m. on FX.
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from ‘Feud’ star Jackie Hoffman on being a character actor: ‘Aging isnt as frightening for us as it is for the pretty people’
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