#i was just thinking of someone i knew once defending their favourite author after a couple people critised them

[emmalalairalie]

I think more people need to know its okay to enjoy problematic media, as long as you KNOW and ACKNOWLEDGE that it's problematic. A lot of people's response to someone trying to call out their favourite author or artist is to blindly defend them because in their head, they can only enjoy the media that person has created if that person is completely ethical and has never done anything wrong. And sure, you shouldn't actively support someone who causes harm to others or anything, but you're still allowed to like their art. Separating the art from the artist is a continually debated issue but my stance on it is if you see the flaws and recognise where it comes from, and you don't like the artist, then that has to be enough. It saves you from looking like an idiot scrambling to defend a problematic author so you feel like you're not supporting a bad person. There is a way to enjoy problematic media without you yourself being problematic.

[imagination-is-key-in-my-world]

Awkward Encounters

Authors Note: At first, I was going to write this as the reader being in Tessa’s perspective but then I thought that it would be too much of a copyright. There may be some similarities to the story but I have written Tessa in as a separate party. Tessa is still with Noah in this. Also, I will be referencing parts from both the movie and the novels. In this particular fanfiction Tristan is a girl, like the movie.

Summary: You are a freshman at college and your life there started pretty normally. Your best friend is Tristan who is dating Steph who is roommates with Tessa. That was until you went to a party with Tristan and the girls. You had no idea that the mysterious British boy was going to intervene when you come face to face with the Bitch that is Molly.

Warning: Swearing

Pairing: Reader x Hardin Scott

Word Count: 4,423

“Come on Tristan, I told you.” I moan. “I can’t go to another party; I am still recovering from the last one.” I cling to a cold compress, trying my best to shield my eyes from the light that is seeping in through the open door.

Tristan threw a pack of Ibuprofen onto my lap that she snooped around in my bag for. “If it’s that bad, take one of these and get your butt out of that bed.” I groan at the impact from the small box just for the effect. “Don’t be a baby and get up.”

I roll over on the bed to face the wall. “Can’t you just go with Steph?”

“No!” She abruptly spat out. “I want to go with you. Steph is bringing Tessa and I don’t want to show up alone.”

“But you will be with her when you’re there. What’s the point in me getting out of this lovely cocoon that I have made, just to walk you to the party?”

Tristan had her head bent over, pulling her hair into a high ponytail on the top of her head. “You know that what you just said was the whole point.” She sighed. “Everyone is going to stare at me when I walk in there all on my lonesome.”

I eyed the short revealing dress that she was pulling onto her petite and envious body. “You know everyone will be staring at you no matter what if you wear that.” I laugh. “Those legs are going to be the headliner for that party.”

Tristan winked at me and continued adding more accessories to her ever-growing ensemble. “That my dear naïve British friend is the goal of this outfit.” She dropped to her knees faster than I could pry open the antibiotic wrapper. Gripping onto my hand she pulled me away from my mission to rid the world of the swirling furniture before my very eyes. “Y/N, if you do not go, I will literally never talk to you ever again.”

I raised my eyebrow at the sight before me. “Is that a promise.” I bravely say.

“Y/N! Please!”

“Fine alright. Give me five minutes.” I surrender, using every ounce of strength that I had left to lift myself from my comfy nest. “But you owe me, big time.” Tristan’s arms were around my neck faster than I could respond. Her soft lips that I am sure Steph adores, pressed against my forehead.

“I love you so much Miss Y/L/N!” She squealed.

I let out a stiff laugh as I saunter off to the bathroom to sort whatever state I currently appeared to be in.

***

“You know, when you said that this was going to be a cool night for us both? When did I factor into the equation?” I scoff, lifting the red solo cup to my lips. The bitter taste made my stomach curl, but what was worse was not drinking around all these over-the-top drunk people.

Tristan was straddling Steph on the sofa by the side of me. These two did not understand the true definition of PDA and why some people may find it uncomfortable. Including myself.

I inch further down the sofa that was unsurprisingly very sticky. If I wasn’t feeling queasy when I turned up, I certainly felt it now. I try to distract myself from the fact that I had to peel my legs from the leather material just to cross them. The sound was very unflattering.

“Why are you in my seat?” I roll my eyes the minute I recognised the irritating voice that filled me with angst and hatred from across the room. Molly Samuels. Her whole presence just irritates me, and it appears that I am not the only one with this response. I gaze over to my left to see Tessa shaking her head at the general distaste she had for the girl. I lift my cup up to Tessa who shyly mimics. ‘To stuck up bitches, ay?’ I say to myself, quietly so that she couldn’t hear.

Molly pushed Zed Evans and his girlfriend for the night out of her shitty throne causing his date to land hard on her arse. I am sure it wasn’t the first time that Molly has done this to declare her ‘power’ to the whole room. “Who the fuck do you think you are?” The blonde cried as Zed attempted to pick her up from the floor which was soaked in alcohol.

“Does this brat literally think she can talk to me right now?” Molly scoffed, flicking her hair over her shoulder. Turning to her so-called friends for approval of her comment and actions.

“What did you just call me?” The poor young girl shook off Zed’s protective arm and stepped right in front of Molly’s nose. Probably not the best move, but I have always found that Molly needed taking down a peg or two.

“You heard me, loud and clear” She popped her tongue on the letter ‘l’ in loud. “A little slutty brat who thinks for a second that Zed will call her back after he fucks her tonight.” Molly’s teeth were snarling almost like a wild animal.

“At least I’m not a bitchy whore who thinks that everyone here is her friend.” There were a couple ‘ohs’ and ‘ahs’ almost as if we were at a panto and not a college party after Zed’s girl’s response.

The second Molly let the words register her hand was leaving that poor girl’s cheek, along with a bright red handprint in its place.

“What the fuck, Molly!” I heard the words clear as day, but I never in a million years imagined that they would come from my mouth. But there I was, standing right in front of Molly, shielding the young girl from another blast to the face.

I could hear people whispering behind my back. ‘What is she doing?’ ‘Is she stupid or something?’ ‘Does she not know what Molly is like?’ Despite being close friends with Tristan, I never would have expected her to step up to defend me, especially when Molly Samuels was involved. She stayed on Steph’s lap; eyes bugged open. Utterly frozen.

“Wow Y/N? Get involved in other people’s business much? Just because your life is too sad, you feel like you can insert yourself into other people’s.” I roll my eyes at her pathetic attempt to rattle me. “You’re just a sad little virgin that no body wants around. Tristan only invited you tonight for her own benefit. Just look around, you don’t fit in here.”

I stay silent. I may have only spoken up once tonight, but that was enough for me. Frat parties are my least favourite place to be. The only reason I came here tonight was for Tristan. I should have left the minute she started making out with the red-haired beauty.

“Cat got your tongue now, bitch.” Molly’s face was inches from mine and I choked on the strong aroma of alcohol on her breath. “Oh, wait I forgot, the girl doesn’t own a backbone.” There were a few stifled laughs here and there. Zed stayed silent, as did Tristan and Steph. None of them making the effort to stand up for me. “Let me guess. Tristan batted her big eyes at you and begged you to come tonight, didn’t she? Then ditched you the moment someone prettier came into the picture.”

I gulp back the bile that I knew had risen to the back of my throat. “Why don’t you go back to your dorm. Oh, better yet, get on a fucking plane and fly back to shitty England. We could only get lucky and hope the thing crashes with you inside it.”

“That’s enough Molly!” The voice behind me held a British twang similar to my own. A voice I had only heard about but never actually seen. The bad boy, Hardin Scott.

Hardin Scott was attractive. Since I got here, I knew he was the talk of the college. Everybody knew who he was and that he wasn’t good news. His white shirt displayed his various tattoos clearly through the thin and tight fabric. His black hair was pushed back to show his piercing eyes and anger set eyebrows. His eyes never left Molly who was stood behind me.

“Oh, Hardin you know I am only messing with the virgin.” She forces a small laugh. “It’s not like I can control the planes is it.” Her head tilts to the side as her gaze locks onto mine, only to intimidate. “I mean I wish I could.” She muttered so that only the people stood around her could hear.

“Do you ever know when to stop!” Hardin barks, not acknowledging me physically. “Do you ever think that you’re the one that people don’t want around?” He questions, moving slowly across the room. I hadn’t noticed but the volume of the once booming music had been lowered to a slight hum in the background.

Hardin was now stood right beside me glaring down at Molly who mimicked his stance. “Ding Ding. Come on guys let’s just drop it!” Nate calls over when he noticed their glares on each other were far from breaking.

Molly was the first to move. “You’re right Nate.” She coos. “Let’s play a game.” She scans the room of her so-called posy who all appeared to be done with her shit for the night. “It’s Friday night. We need to play a game. I will even let the little virgin here play along, too.”

I am very aware that all the eyes were now back on me.

This wasn’t something that I wanted to be a part of. It took me what felt like an eternity to move my feet across the room to where Tristan was sitting. “I am going to head back to the dorms.” I declare quietly to her, but I can tell that they are all listening.

“No please stay, it won’t be the same if you go.” Tristan reaches for my hand which I pull away.

I don’t know why I am letting Molly’s words sink in so much. Everybody who knows her knows that she is full of herself and couldn’t give a shit who she hurts.

“No, it’s late.” It was only nine. “And I have assignments that are due.” I lie, they are all finished. “I’ll see you back at the dorm.”

I start towards the door but I can hear Tristan calling after me to stay.

As I reach the front door to the frat house, I hear Molly’s voice loud and clear. “So, Hardin truth or dare?”

***

The walk back to the dorms was anything but peaceful. The cars were loud and honking at me as they passed. Classy.

I reach for my phone in my bag. I could do with tuning out the world for this half hour walk back in the dark. But my fingers only find a vibrant red lipstick that I couldn’t pull off in a million years.

I stop dead in my tracks. This was Steph’s bag; I grabbed the wrong one during my never-ending embarrassment.

I couldn’t go back, but I couldn’t go further either. Where was I supposed to go, Steph’s key wasn’t in here so it’s not like I could sleep in her room for the night. No cash, key or phone meant that I had no other choice. I had to suck it up and go back.

“Fuuuck!” I shout, not caring that I startled an elderly woman who was placing a rubbish bag in her bin just outside her front door.

“Not a very ladylike thing to say.” I hear a mocking chuckle behind me causing me to jump out of my skin.

When I turn around, I am greeted by the tall British bad boy covered in ink standing about 6 foot in front of me.

His head cocks to the side when I don’t answer him. “You don’t say much, do you?” My eyes scan over his attire, black ripped jeans, white top, and a jet-black leather jacket. “But you do stare a lot, don’t you?” That British chuckle makes it’s second appearance tonight.

“What do you want?” I blurt out, shaking my head at the fact that I was indeed caught staring at the boy.

He steps a little closer to me, closing the gap between us ever so slowly. I watch in amazement at how sexy he makes walking look. “You left this at the party.” I hadn’t realised that he had extended his hand to reveal a clutch bag. My clutch bag.

“Oh!” I speak. “Thanks.” I take the bag from him and prepare myself for the walk back.

“Don’t take any notice of Molly. She is a bitch.”

“Yep.” I chip in, turning to walk back towards the college dorm rooms.

I only get a few steps ahead when I feel a cold sensation wrap around my bare arm. Why the fuck didn’t I bring a coat? I gaze down at the hand that is pressed to my skin. “Where are you going?” He softly says. His tone and action were not at all forceful but something about him made me shiver with fear deep inside the pit of my stomach. I was warned about Hardin Scott. Tristan said that he wasn’t exactly good news around her group of friends. Acting with his fists before connecting his words, that’s what she said at least.

“H-Home.” I stutter, half from the interaction, half from how fucking cold it was. I straighten up. “I am going home.”

“Alone?” He jumps in straight away.

I don’t answer. I just look back at his hand around my arm.

“S-sorry.” He stutters, removing his hand from my arm. “It’s just it’s a long way back to the dorms and it is late.”

I shrug my shoulders at his declaration. “I know.” I simply say and start to walk again but I am blocked by the gorgeous boy standing in front of me. “Oh fuck, you’re not going to kill me, are you?”

“No of course not!” He blurts.

“Good! Now could you” I gesture to the fact that he is stood directly in my path. He catches on to my hint and steps aside.

“You’re not going to walk there alone, are you?” His voice sounding desperate.

I spin and mockingly look around for people, lifting my hand to shield my eyes as I continue my search. This provokes a choked sigh from Hardin. Once I am satisfied with my ‘search’ I say “yep” and continue to walk.

“But it is late.” He chimes in again walking backwards trying desperately not to break my gaze as I try desperately to avoid his. “And you’re alone.”

“Yes, we have established this.” I mock, glaring at the stoned pavement or sidewalk ahead of me.

Hardin reaches both hands out in front of himself creating a wall which stops me from taking another step. “What is your problem?”

I take a step back, alarmed at his outburst. “My problem. You’re the one who has continuously blocked my way for the past ten minutes.” I bark. I try to move around him but he doesn’t budge, copying my actions to stay ahead of me.

“I am trying to offer my services.” Hardin exclaimed but then scowled at his choice of words. I too have a hard time accepting the word ‘services.’ Just as I go to argue he opens his mouth. “Fuck that’s not what I meant to say.” His hands instantly dart to push his hair back out of his face. A nervous tick I assume. What did he have to be nervous about? He is the one stalking after college girls at half 9 at night.

“Look can we start over?” He offers shoving his hands into his jacket. My arms promptly raise to cover my bare arms where goosebumps have started to form. Why didn’t I bring a jacket? “Could I possibly walk you back to the dorms?” His eyes dropped to the ground to stare at a pebble that he toyed with his shoe. Was he anxious?

“Why?” I question fairly quickly.

“I just want to make sure that you get back safe!” His tone wasn’t very friendly. I cock my head to one side. “Sorry, that came out bad.” His tone softening. “I just didn’t like the way that Molly spoke to you earlier and I also hate the fact that you would be walking back in this sketchy neighbourhood alone.”

“Fine.”

***

We walk all the way back to the dorms in silence. Hardin looked uncomfortable the entire time as if he were being forced to be here. I sure as hell did not make him.

I pull the key from my bag and slot it into the lock on the door. Pushing the door slightly open I stand with my arms still draped across my shivering body in the doorway. “Well, thanks for walking me back and bringing me my bag.”

Hardin didn’t budge. His eyes were locked on my body, traveling from my legs to my face. His face turned a shade of white when his eyes caught up to mine. “Fuck!” He announced.

“What!” I jump at his sudden change in demeaner.

“Your lips.” He gestures to my trembling lips that haven’t stopped shaking since I stepped outside of the frat house. “They are fucking blue!” Panic surges over him as he rakes his hands through his hair. “Why didn’t you say you were cold?” He started passing back and fourth in front of me.

“There wasn’t much you could do.” I counter. “My own stupid fault for not bringing a coat.”

I walk inside the room and grab a jacket and throw it on over my shaking body. Hardin enters after me and grabs my hand carefully. “Fuck lot that will do.” He picks up a towel and drags me back down the hallway.

I try to pull my arm back but it is no use. “Where the hell are you taking me?” I say a little too loud. Silently cursing myself if I may have woken up any of the other students living down this dorm.

“The showers now come on.” He tugs a little harder as his feet guide me towards the shared bathroom just a few floors down from my own.

As we reach the bathroom, Hardin throws the towel over the railing and reaches in to turn on the water. I couldn’t help but watch his every move. “Get in!” He cries. Gesturing to the box that was filling with tempting hot steam.

I hesitate. “Y/N, get in the fucking shower.” I jump, not at his tone. But at the fact that he used my name. How did he even know it? Oh right, he was at the party when Molly was insulting me. “If you don’t start undressing now, I will have to start doing it for you.”

I raise an eyebrow but decline his offer, stepping into the box and pulling the curtain across to shield my naked body.

***

Hardin was right, I needed that shower. I hadn’t realised how cold I had gotten from that walk home. I stood in that shower for what felt like half the evening.

I shut off the water and begin to pull the curtain slightly across so that I could reach for the towel that Hardin had placed on the rail when Hardin’s hand slips through holding the towel between his fingers.

“Thanks.” I mutter, draping it around my soaking body.

I step out to find that Hardin’s hair has dropped and started to stick to his forehead in places from the steam. His eyes dart up and down my body, quietly.

I am the first one to break the silence as we stand there in the shared bathroom. “So, I should um, probably get back to my room.”

I watch as Hardin lets my words break him from his still stance. “Yeah, um, after you.” He holds his arm out and follows me out of the bathroom. Something has shifted in Hardin. Tonight, I have seen him; angry, intimidating, shy, solemness and lost for words. It was a lot to take in during a short period of time.

I open the dorm door and step inside. When I hear the door shut, I jump and almost drop the towel. “Shit, sorry I didn’t mean for the door to shut so loudly.” He curses under his breath.

“It’s okay.” I mutter. I cling to the towel as I stare back at Hardin who hasn’t moved or made any effort to leave.

“Y/N?” Hardin’s voice softer than ever tonight, bringing my eyes to meet his. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“What do you mean?” My words coming out slowly. His head dropped to face the floor. Was he trying to count the flecks of glitter on the carpet from Tristan’s body butter or something?

“Why didn’t you say that you were cold?” I roll my eyes, this again. Crossing my arms over my stomach.

“Like I said, there wasn’t anything you could have-”

“I could have given you my jacket.” He interjects. Taking a step closer to me. His body was merely a foot away from mine.

“But then you would have been the one with the blue lips.” I counter. Tilting my head to the side in a modest challenging manner.

This stirred something within Hardin, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I know that he isn’t used to a woman not agreeing with every word that comes out of his mouth.

I suddenly shake my head as I feel a slight chill spread up my back. I am still in my towel and now I am very much aware of that. Quickly I turn away from his locked-on gaze.

“Can I have some privacy please.” I mumble, not able to turn around to face him. “I need to, uh, get changed.” I add.

Hardin lets out a small grunt but eventually I do hear the click of my dorm-room door close. I don’t know why but I feel a shed of disappointment at the fact that he listened and actually left.

It takes my hands what feels like hours to release the tight grip that I held on to the towel. Allowing it to fall onto the floor.

“You know what-” I hear the click of the door and his voice fill my ears. I jump from my spot in the middle of the room. He doesn’t finish the sentence, instead Hardin slams the door behind him. “Fuck!” His eyes firm but glued on my body.

I quickly try to grab the towel up off the floor, but it is no use. Hardin instantly placed his foot over the soggy material. “Don’t.” He lets that one word fall from his lips as he slowly continues to decrease the distance between us.

“Hardin!” I shout. “Give-” I can’t finish my argument as I find his finger is placed over the top of my lips.

Hardin doesn’t speak, he just shakes his head. His soft hand moves from my lips and trails off to my cheek, holding me in place. My eyes locked onto his own, frozen in place. I watch as his eyes bounce from my own to my lips, seeking permission. His other hand snaked its way around and laid itself on the small of my back, pulling my naked body closer to his.

I was completely thrown off by the audacity of my body responding to his touch, bringing me to him. Everything happened in slow motion from the second we were back in my room. I knew that Hardin was trouble, everybody did. But no one actually prepares you for a moment like this. Where you are stood in front of a gorgeous guy whose whole attention you own. Did I say he was gorgeous?

I shake my head breaking the eye contact trance I was in. “Har-”

“You’re so beautiful.” He interrupts, breaking right through the barrier I was desperately trying to build. Correction, he shattered the wall to pieces and I find myself pushing my lips aggressively against his, hungry for the contact.

It takes him a second to return the haste in my actions within his own. Moving his lips to mimic the speed that I had set for him. It took no time at all for that jacket that he kept holding over me for not taking since we got back to the room to be thrown onto the floor, revealing the crisp white T-shirt underneath.

His hand wandered lower to lay slightly above my bare arse. While my hands slithered up underneath his shirt. Desperate to feel the skin underneath and to trace the ink that it held. The hand that rested on my cheek now held tightly to the back of my neck making it impossible to break the kiss, not that I wanted to.

I could stay like this forever, kissing Hardin has awoken something inside me that I didn’t even know existed. This overwhelming hunger for his contact. I tug a little on the hair on the back of his head which in response summoned a deep growl from Hardin that I didn’t think I was prepared to hear. Any sense of doubt that we should stop kissing left my mind the second I heard that sound.

“Y/N? You would not believe what you missed after-” Tristan stood in the open doorway, her mouth held open just as wide.

Fuck. I jump back from Hardin and scramble for the towel, concealing my naked form from my roommate. I look over to Hardin who didn’t look at all affected by the events in the last ten seconds.

“I can tell your busy so I will just, yeah.” Tristan steps back and shuts the door behind her.

I run into the closet and quickly throw on a set of underwear and a long-oversized shirt that came down to lie just beneath my arse. “I think it’s about time I start locking that door.” I joke as I step through the closet door.

My eyes roam the room for the handsome boy I was just making out with only to be greeted with an empty room. My shoulders fall, “I guess that’s goodbye.” I mumble, trying my best to hold myself together. Locking the door before falling onto my bed.

Part 2?

[zippityzap]

Sonic Tarot Card Project: explanations for character picks

Recently I completed a summer-long project where I created Sonic themed versions of the tarot major acana. I put a lot of research and thought into what characters to assign to which cards, and I wanted to explain my rationale behind each one! (Everything’s under the read more cut because this is a very long post!)

To start off, let me explain why I did this project in the first place. This summer I watched Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure for the first time, and in Part 3, Stardust Crusaders, the majority of the stand abilities are named after the tarot major arcana. Thanks to cultural osmosis I vaguely knew the meanings of a few of the cards and I realised that one of the characters suited his assigned card pretty well. I was curious if this matched anyone else and so once I finished watching that part, I did research on tarot and found that yeah, a lot of them do match! That got me interested in tarot and since I like combining things I’m interested in, I decided to make Sonic versions of the cards.

I do want to note that while Jojo did inspire this project in a lot of ways, I tried not to let my character picks be influenced by Stardust Crusader characters, although there did end up being some picks that did coincidentally happen to match nicely anyway. Also, I’m not gonna lie, ever since picking these card choices I’ve been highly tempted to draw Sonic as Polnareff.

Anyway, on to my explanations for character choices!

0: The Fool (Charmy Bee)

The Fool represents innocence, spontaneity and recklessness. I believe Charmy’s happy and carefree nature, along with the simple fact that he’s essentially just a little kid who likes to have fun makes him a great fit for this card

1: The Magician (Infinite)

The Magician represents creation and strength, but also manipulation and narcissism, a good match for Infinite and the powers of the phantom ruby. (I was also very pleased to notice that the traditional art for the card has an infinity symbol- everything lined up very well!)

The Rider Waite version of the card also depicts a sword, a wand, a cup and a pentacle; the suits of the minor arcana. I have attempted to depict these with various objects from the Sonic series, namely Infinite’s sword from the IDW Forces prequel comic, the sceptre of darkness from '06, a chaos emerald, and a ring respectively.

2: The High Priestess (Princess Elise)

The High Priestess represents secrets, repression, and the unknown, which I believe fits with Elise’s initial desire to control her emotions and her sadness. (Admittedly this is one of the looser character/card connections for this project, but my two other picks for this card I felt were better suited to different cards)

3: The Empress (Vanilla the Rabbit)

The Empress represents nurturing, fertility and childbirth, all traits that I believe make this card a good pick for a kind, caring mother like Vanilla

4: The Emperor (Dr Eggman)

A card fitting for the leader of the Eggman Empire! The Emperor represents authority, power, and tyranny, all traits Dr Robotnik desires, if not possesses in many continuities.

5: The Hierophant (Espio the Chameleon)

The Hierophant represents wisdom and tradition, and in both upright and reversed forms it has large connections to the concept of social conformity. Perhaps I’m drawing more from the various comic versions of Espio, but he comes across to me as someone who is hyper-aware about how he presents himself.

Fun fact: a hierophant is essentially another word for a religious leader, although I’ve never seen it used outside the context of tarot. I assume the religious connection is the reason why in the OST of the Jojo part 3 anime, Kakyoin’s theme is called Noble Pope.

6: The Lovers (Amy Rose)

The Lovers represents love, communication, and passion; and Amy is certainly a character who wears her heart on her sleeve! She’s a good example of a character who I feel fits a number of different cards, however there are no other characters who suited The Lovers quite as much as her.

7: The Chariot (Sonic the Hedgehog)

The Chariot represents journeys, wanderlust as well as the ambition and willpower to achieve your goals, which I believe is the perfect match for Sonic’s adventurous and heroic spirit. This was one of the first cards I decided on and it’s probably the one I’d defend my interpretation of the most.

If you’re wondering why there’s dark and hero chao in the artwork too, it’s because the original card art depicts the titular chariot being pulled by black and white sphinxes, and this is my way of calling back to that.

8: Strength (Maria Robotnik)

This card pick might seem unusual at first if you take the word ‘strength’ at face value, however considering the original card art depicts a maiden peacefully taming a lion, perhaps the Strength card represents inner strength, courage and determination rather than physical strength. These are traits that I believe Maria possesses.

9: The Hermit (Knuckles the Echidna)

The Hermit signifies awareness and independence but when reversed can mean isolation and resignation, traits that parallel well with Knuckles and his duty to be the protector of the Master Emerald

10: The Wheel of Fortune (Big the Cat)

The Wheel of Fortune represents fate, karma and luck! This is admittedly a bit of a cheeky dig at myself since I’m awful at the Big fishing levels in SA1 and mostly got through them through luck. But that’s not to say the card doesn’t apply to Big himself! His frequent cameos do have a bit of a fate/destiny vibe to them and in IDW Big is lucky enough to manage to avoid the metal virus for quite a long time.

11: Justice (Vector the Crocodile)

The meaning of the Justice cards is… pretty much what it says on the tin: fairness and clarity. Of course the Team Chaotix detective agency represents this as a whole, but that trait especially shines through with Vector himself. He may be a little money oriented, but doing what is morally right always takes priority.

12: The Hanged Man (Shadow the Hedgehog)

The thing about Shadow is that he’s a fairly complex character which means there are a number of cards in the Major Arcana that match him well, but I knew early on when tackling this project that I wanted to assign Shadow to The Hanged Man. This card represents change, release and sacrifice, which all align well with the character arc that Shadow goes through during the course of SA2 and beyond.

13: Death (Tikal the Echidna and Chaos)

Despite the morbid name of the card, (and the admittedly macabre scene I’ve depicted) the Death card is not an inherently negative card to draw. Yes, it can mean endings and grief, but it can also mean letting go and new beginnings. The story that Tikal and Chaos go through in SA1, their anguish and how they later find peace, is something that I think pairs well with this particular card.

Fun fact: this is the only card in this project that has two significant characters on it rather than just one. I felt I needed both of them to be on the card in order to fully represent its meaning

14: Temperance (Blaze the Cat)

The Temperance card signifies balance, harmony and patience, which matches Blaze’s very poised and graceful demeanour. Admittedly I had a little bit of trouble deciding on a card for Blaze since the High Priestess and the Hierophant are also good matches for her.

15: The Devil (Rouge the Bat)

The Devil card represents temptation, seduction, and materialism and well… look, Rouge is one of my favourite Sonic characters, I’d be one of the first people to tell you that there’s a lot more to her than what initially appears, she is so much more complex than just sex appeal and a gemstone obsession. However, I felt there was no other character that matched the traits of this specific card better than Rouge, and so my choice was decided by that.

16: The Tower (E-123 Omega)

The Tower card represents a number of things; disruption, disasters, sudden changes etc, however the trait that made me believe that Omega would be the best selection for the card was violence.

17: The Star (Miles ‘Tails’ Prower)

Tails’ character arcs normally centre around him gaining independence and self-confidence and learning to believe in himself. He is also largely characterised by his unyielding faith and trust in Sonic. These traits are the reason why I believe The Star card represents him well, as it symbolises hope and faith.

18: The Moon (Shade the Echidna)

The Moon card symbolises mysteries and the unknown, and when Shade is first introduced in Chronicles, she and the rest of the Nocturnus Clan are certainly presented as mysterious. The Moon can also represent misconception, which fits well with how Shade was initially unaware of the true nature of Ix’s plans.

19: The Sun (Cream the Rabbit)

The Sun, when drawn in an upright position, has a lot of positive meanings! Freedom, fun, happiness, good luck etc. Cream’s cheerful and optimistic disposition makes her a good match for this card

20: Judgement (E-102 Gamma)

The Judgement card symbolises liberation, awakening, redemption and second chances, all of which I believe represent Gamma and his character arc in SA1 well

21: The World (Metal Sonic)

In the upright position, The World card symbolises triumph, completion, strength and happiness while in reversed position can mean failure, anxiety, lack of self-confidence etc. I had both positioning of the card in mind when connecting it to Metal Sonic; he is devoted to the tasks given to him and is self-assured in his belief that he is the true/superior ‘sonic’ yet he repeatedly finds himself at the hands of failure. But he doesn’t let previous failures hold him back, thus starting the cycle anew. (Another connection to the World card as it also symbolises cycles)

[holidaywishes]

Your Call

  Requested: 👍

  Summary/Request: Can you write about Freddie and his girl being long distance and just the ups and downs of that I guess? If you could make it smutty that would be cool too 😍

  Warning: soft/fluffy smut as requested, some angst obviously, some fluff

  Author’s Note: Alright! I’ve pretty much locked myself in my room for the weekend because my mom has a conference and the weather is SHITTY so I can’t do stuff outside. So, that means we get to see how many of these requests I can get done. I’m not entirely sure if this is as angsty as you might have wanted, anon, because it doesn’t delve too deep into the “ups and downs” and it is pretty short but I still hope you enjoy it! Stay Golden, loves! <3

  masterlist

  the other masterlist

xx

  “I don’t want you to leave�� you whined as Freddie packed his bag to go on a two week road trip

  “I know babe,” he sighed, “but I’ll be back before you know it and we’ll talk every chance I get. Like we always do when I go out of town”

  “I hate it”

  “I hate it, too, love” he said before kissing your forehead and hugging you close. You pulled out a sweater from his bag before he could zip it up and kept it close to your chest, “(Y/N), come on,“ he laughed, “I have to go...”

  “You don’t need this sweater” you tried to bargain, as if this sweater was the thing that was going to get him to stay

  “You’re right,” he smirked, “I don’t” he made his way downstairs toward the door, throwing his bag by the door before grabbing a glass of water from the kitchen

  “UGH!” you groaned as you clambered down the stairs

  “Babe, elske,” he chuckled, “it’s only two weeks”

  “BUT THAT’S FOREVER!” you groaned again, “what if I want you? What if I need you?”

  “That’s what this is for” he smirked, circling behind you so you fell against his chest as he showed you a video on his phone. The room was soon filled with moaning and heavy breathing as you watched Freddie thrust into you on his small phone screen

  “FREDDIE!” you shouted, pushing the phone away, “when did you record this? How did I not know you were recording this?”

  “I’m very sneaky”

  “I’m not sure I know how to feel about that” he kissed your temple and whispered in your ear

  “This way we’ll have each other when we feel that need”

  “You think of everything, don’t you?” you turned around, wrapping your arms around his neck and playing with his hair. He leaned in but didn’t connect his lips with yours, instead he sighed and his breath brushed across your skin, “what?” you asked

  “I have to be on the plane in twenty minutes”

  “Don’t go” you whined

  “I have to...” you finally let him go but hated it the instant you closed the door. He made sure to send you had the video and you found yourself watching it on repeat for almost an hour

  “We’re very good at this,” you giggled, tilting your head slightly, “he’s soooo good at that...” When you finally stopped watching the video, you were unnecessarily out of breath and you felt like your whole body was on fire but as the days drew on, you were starting to feel his absence.

  “Hey,” your friend, Kaycee, called as she walked in through your front door, “where you at?”

  “I’m in the kitchen!” you called back, turning around just as she walked into the room

  “Have you seen this?” she cut right to the point, something she was known to do when there was something on her mind

  “Hello to you to, Kaycee,” you laughed, “have I seen what?”

  “When was the last time you talked to Freddie?” she asked and you furrowed your brow before sitting at the kitchen island

  “Uhmm.. last night?” you replied, “yeah, last night before bed, why?”

  “What time was that?”

  “I don’t know.. it was before bed. What’s going on?”

  “You haven’t talked to him today?” she continued

  “KAYCEE!” you laughed

  “THERE’S A PICTURE!” she yelled as if she was trying to rip off the band-aid

  “Alright,” you said, “what’s the picture?”

  “Freddie...” she started to explain but decided to just hand you her phone instead. The picture wasn’t much to look at, nothing scandalous, just Freddie in a rental car, outside of his hotel -- which was enough to confuse you on its own -- but when you examined it a little more, you noticed that it was fairly early in the morning and there was a girl getting into his car; a girl you didn’t recognize.

  “What is this?” you scoffed uncomfortably

  “No one knows who she is or, at least,” she added, “they haven’t been able to identify her because of her mask”

  “Maybe it’s not what it looks like”

  “Or maybe it’s exactly what it looks like...”

  “Look, Kaycee, I trust Freddie, so whatever it going on here,” you replied, sliding her phone back to her, “doesn’t matter. It doesn’t mean anything...”

  “If you say so” she said passively, as if she didn’t believe you and, honestly, it was hard not to think that something else was going on but you did trust Freddie. You just hoped that was enough.

xx

Freddie’s P.O.V

  It had only been a couple days but you were already missing (Y/N) and the way she nibbled on your ear to wake you up in the morning or the way she moaned when you trailed your finger down her neck; you had watched that video so many times that you’d practically timed how long it would take you to get off just from hearing it. 

  “(Y/N)” you whispered into your phone on the plane so the guys wouldn’t hear you

  “Freddie? Why are you whispering?” she grumbled on the other line

  “What are you wearing?” you asked

  “What?”

  “I don’t think the video was enough. I’ve watched it too many times for it to really be effective at this point, so...” he added, “what are you wearing?”

  “Who was that girl...?” she asked suddenly, taking you by surprise

  “What girl?” you stopped whispering

  “The girl outside the hotel. Getting into your car...”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about”

  “The internet never sleeps, Fred”

  “I seriously don’t know what you’re talking about”

  “Someone saw you picking up a girl outside your hotel, in Edmonton, and they showed it to me,” she said angrily, “because of course they did”

  “She’s on staff. Her car broke down but we were going to the same place so I offered to give her a ride” you defended

  “That’s it?” she replied and you could tell she didn’t believe you

  “Why would I hookup with some random girl outside of a hotel when I have you? Whose call I look forward to every night, whose face pops into my head all the time, whose breasts I want to message right now, whose lips I want to kiss every second, every minute of every day?” you rambled

  “I hate this” she whined

  “What?” you asked

  “Being away from you,” she groaned, “you being away from me”

  “I do, too, but it’s only one more week”

  “It’s still more than a week”

  “Only by a couple of days”

  “Please, don’t pick up any more girls outside of your hotel, okay?” she pleaded and you assured her before hanging up. You sat back in your seat and sighed, imagining what she might be doing now that you’d woken her up, but hating that she was having all these thoughts rolling around her head that you couldn’t ease with a kiss or four.

xx

  After you’d accused Freddie of cheating on you, the two of you spoke every second of his free time and every night until both of you fell asleep. You hated being apart, the long nights alone in the big, quiet house but you knew it was part of his life when you started dating him, so the lonely feeling was inevitable; still, every time it came around, you hated it more and more. He always managed to keep your mind at ease though, telling jokes or stories about the guys and making sure you knew how much he wanted you when he finally got home and you’d try your best to send him sexy voice notes or the occasional snap of you in his favourite t-shirt. The last few days felt like forever and you found yourself pacing between the upper and lower levels of the apartment, opening the door every once in a while when you thought you heard someone in the hallway

  “Where are you, baby?” you mumbled to yourself. You cleaned, you organized, you poured yourself a glass of wine and he still wasn’t there; you huffed in frustration as your marched upstairs to put on some sexy lingerie for whenever he finally walked through that door.

  “Elske?” he shouted as he came in

  “Shit” you whispered to yourself, fumbling with the lace teddy that you had started to put on, “shit” you repeated, his footsteps moving through the apartment quickly

  “(Y/N)?” he called again and you positioned yourself on the bed just in time

  “Hi” you said when he opened the bedroom door

  “There you are” he smiled, making his way toward you and peeling his jacket off on the way

  “Here I am” you giggled, trying not to feel silly while trying to act sexy

  “Hi baby” he repeated, circling the bed until he could climb on top of you

  “I missed you” you whispered, gripping his sides to feel his body underneath his shirt

  “I missed you, too” he smiled before pressing his lips to yours. Your hands moved gently to undo the buttons on his shirt without breaking the kiss, untucking the fabric from his pants before removing it from his body; caressing his skin with your fingertips as his body pressed closer to yours

  “Freddie” you breathed when he kissed down your jawline and neck before his hands wrapped around your back to pull you up

  “You look beautiful” he said seductively, a growl to his tone

  “I wanted to wear something nice for when you got home”

  “I’m glad you did,” he smirked, “but why don’t we take it off?” he stepped back off the bed and pulled you, by your legs, close to him and he gently pulled the teddy off you; removing his black dress pants when you were completely naked

  “Should I just make sure I’m like this next time you come home?” you teased but he nodded in return, climbing over you once more, his already hardened cock pressing against your thigh as he leaned down to kiss you

  “Yeah,” he smiled against your lips, “cut right to the chase” you giggled before he went back to kissing you. Your hands traced down his body before wrapping around his waist, pushing his hips into yours as he licked your nipple

  “Fuck me, baby” you moaned into his shoulder and he smirked at you in response, licking his finger before moving his hand to your centre; rubbing your clit as he prepared to thrust into you. You moaned breathlessly, continuing to push him into you by the small of his back and arching your back to keep the space closed between you. Freddie pressed soft kisses to your neck to match his slow thrusts, moaning deeply as your hands moved across his body, stationing themselves on his sides.

  “Fuuckk” he growled, hips stuttering as you pulled his hips even closer to yours; creating too much friction to bear.

xx

Freddie’s P.O.V

  She moaned into your ear as she forced your hips to grind into hers. A moan you always missed when you were away.

  “Freddie” she breathed, arching her back more than she already had, the crown of her head the only thing touching the mattress but still it wasn’t enough. You kissed her neck before whispering for her to turn around; she kissed your neck in return, groaning at your request, “fuck me” she pleaded.

  “Turn around” you repeated lowly and she obliged. You pulled her hips to yours before pushing into her, eliciting a near breathless scream

  “Shit” she said between laboured breaths and you pulled her up, holding her arms tightly by her side as your pace increased. The room fell silent for a second as she tried to contain her pleasure but, with one hard thrust, her scream filled the space in front of her. You let go of her arms so you could pull her face to yours, kissing her lips harshly as you breathed into her mouth, grabbing her breast with your free hand

  “Fuck,” you moaned, “fuck, baby you feel so good”

  “Fuck me, Freddie” she smirked back as your hand circled her throat, kissing her temple before letting her fall onto her hands; your hand slipping off her throat and moving to her hips. Your pace increased until the only sound in the room was skin slapping against skin and raspy moans

  “Fuck” you panted

  “Fu—” she started but the sound was cut off while you fucked her deeper. “I’m cumming, Freddie,” she finally cried out, pushing back into your hips, “fuck baby, make me cum”

  “Cum for me, (Y/N)”

  “Fuck” she moaned before dropping onto the mattress, letting her arms go limp. Once you reached your climax, you turned her over and kissed her lips, making your way down her body until reaching her core; every move you made against her clit made her legs shake, letting you know that she was on the verge of her orgasm. “Fuck, Freddie, mmm, fuck” she cursed as your tongue circled her clit and your finger curled inside her. Her thighs flexed and tightened around your head as she lifted her back to increase the friction, “oh god, oh god, oh fuck, oh shit, fuck, Freddie, baby right there” you continued your ministrations, her legs locking you in place until she found her release, laughing as she waited for you to lay beside her. “Hey,” she called when you walked away from her, “where are you going?”

  “I’ll be right back” you laughed, grabbing a cloth from the bathroom and dampening it before you brought it back to her, wiping her clean before kissing up her body and dropping beside her. She exhaled deeply before turning her body to yours, “hey” you said

  “Have I ever told you that you’re like really good at that?” she smirked

  “Thanks” you teased and she gasped sarcastically

  “Hey!” she giggled

  “I’m not nearly as good as you though” you replied

  “Thank you” she said proudly

  “I missed this”

  “I missed this, too”

  “I missed you” she smiled as you kissed your forehead

  “So don’t leave again” she teased

  “Ahh but see,” you joked, “the sex is so much better when we’re apart first” she laughed in return before laying a gentle kiss to your lips

  “I love you” she cooed

  “I love you, too”

  “I hate long distance. Please don’t leave again” she repeated

  “It’s my job, I have to,” you sighed, tracing her skin with your fingers, “but we’ll be able to do this again”

  “And better” she added before curling into your side and you wrapped a blanket around the two of you, falling asleep shortly after. You had to admit, sometimes you hated your job too, knowing that you had to leave her but coming back always made it worth it.

[politalysis]

# What has happened to JK Rowling?

Growing up in the early 2000s immediately made Harry Potter a huge part of your childhood. Even if you never read the books or watched the films, you can probably name the three main characters. Even if you weren’t interested in Harry Potter in the slightest, you probably know your Hogwarts house. It’s incredible what Harry Potter did for our generation all over the world. Children would stay up on their eleventh birthdays anxiously awaiting a Hogwarts acceptance letter, knowing full well that owl was never going to come. Our imagination kept the dream of going to Hogwarts and learning magic alive anyway. Even now at the age of 23, I can for the most part keep a conversation flowing with anyone who has read the books or even just watched the films. You could even go as far as to say it was our generation’s Lord of the Rings.

JK Rowling came from very humble beginnings. She suffered with depression in her childhood and early teens, and lost her mother to multiple sclerosis in 1990. These struggles inspired her a lot when writing Harry Potter. She channeled her grief and pain into her writing. In 1992, she married a man she had met whilst living in Portugal, but Rowling suffered domestic abuse at his hands and the couple separated a year later. She lost her job and moved to Edinburgh in Scotland, where she had to sign up for welfare benefits, which left her a poor and depressed single mother spending her time writing in coffee shops. When she finished writing Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, twelve publishers rejected the opportunity to publish the book. Once someone finally agreed to publish the book, it became the best selling children’s book of the year.

We all know how the story goes from there. Rowling wrote six more Harry Potter books, eight films were made, and Rowling went from a poor vulnerable single mother to a multi millionaire in the space of a few short years. Harry Potter is now a global brand estimated to be worth about $15 billion. The last four books have each consecutively set the record for the fastest selling book in history. Rowling is now the richest author in the world, with a net worth of $92 million. But as well as money, JK Rowling has over 14 million followers on Twitter. This gives her massive influence as well as money. Rowling seemed to initially use this influence for good, spreading mental health awareness, LGBT inclusivity, interacting with fans and creating a website for all us Harry Potter fans to determine our houses and let our wands choose us.

I remember being 8 years old when Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince was released, and I was attending a religious school where some parents complained and called to ban Harry Potter over the controversial decision JK Rowling made regarding Dumbledore’s sexuality. Rowling had made the claim that Dumbledore was gay. Looking back, the controversy was ridiculous and I can only imagine how embarrassed some of those parents must be. I also remember as I got older, re-reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows I noticed more that the emotion behind Dumbledore’s relationship with Grindelwald was one he held with a romantic love. So years later, when several members of the LGBT community attacked Rowling for only deciding Dumbledore’s sexuality after the books were written, I publicly defended her with my knowledge that that simply wasn’t true. I had this image of Rowling in my mind, that she had always been on the right side of this debate. She had always been inclusive and supportive of LGBT people as far as I could see, and I just didn’t understand the issue. Rowling had always expressed a centre-left political perspective, and although I didn’t agree with all her views, they seemed relatively uncontroversial.

When Harry Potter and the Cursed Child was released, I hated it. It was a literary disaster, completely disrespectful of the original book series, the characters were a shell of the characters we had grown up with, the plot was almost deliberately ridiculous and overly elaborate and I immediately dismissed it as not canon. I have never forgiven JK Rowling for publicly stating the book was canon. She almost destroyed a whole two decades of her own hard work and the franchise that she’d built that had been like a home for a whole generation. All because she wanted to grab a few extra quid for a terrible book she didn’t even write. To this day I can’t help but wonder if she has even read the book. If I had written the masterpiece that is Harry Potter, I would view the Cursed Child as an insult. Perhaps I’ll even write a review one day, just for fun. Rowling also annoyed me by going back on her story, regretting pairing Ron and Hermione together and not pairing Hermione with Harry. Ron and Hermione are my favourite couple from the story, and their relationship had so much meaning. I couldn’t believe that the author who wrote such a clever and consistent relationship between two beloved characters could ever regret it. At this point in my life, I was beginning to wonder if perhaps Rowling was losing her mind. It was almost like she was trying to destroy her legacy.

As more years passed, the Fantastic Beasts films were released. The first film looked promising, but the second film was yet another disaster. Again, it was inconsistent with the franchise as we knew it, for some reason Hogwarts was full of people wearing 3 piece suits instead of the robes they wore in the Harry Potter series and Minerva McGonigall appeared as a teacher despite the fact that canonically there is no way she could have been old enough. The film was a disaster with both fans and critics hating it. Amongst this mess came controversy in December 2019. Rowling lost all respect she had once held amongst the transgender community when she made a public statement supporting Maya Forstater, a British woman who lost her employment tribunal case against her employer who fired her over transphobic comments. Six months later on June 6 2020, Rowling criticised the term “people who menstruate” and stated: "If sex isn’t real, the lived reality of women globally is erased. I know and love trans people, but erasing the concept of sex removes the ability of many to meaningfully discuss their lives." Rowling’s views on these issues were heavily criticised by GLAAD and even by the actors from the Harry Potter movies including lead actors Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson.

Rowling published a 3,600 word essay in response to the mass criticism of her views four days later. The essay did her no favours, as she wrote: “When you throw open the doors of bathrooms and changing rooms to any man who believes or feels he’s a woman then you open the door to any and all men who wish to come inside.” She seemed to be suggesting that trans women are often just men disguised as women in order to trick or even harm other women. This obviously angered the transgender community even more, and women’s refuge shelters that allow trans women were reporting no rise in violence as a result, children’s charities that support gender non conforming children were criticising Rowling, she was being made to give back awards and ultimately Rowling was labelled a Trans exclusionary radical feminist, a term often abbreviated to TERF.

JK Rowling is the perfect example of how money and influence can make someone forget their roots so easily. For someone who survived poverty, domestic abuse and sexual assault, she is so lacking in self awareness and how the things she has said and done can be harmful to transgender people. It is widely reported that transgender women are at more risk of harm in female restrooms than cisgender women. With acceptance becoming the norm, transgender people are feeling more safe to come out now than ever before, and so the rise in numbers of the community is huge, especially amongst our generation who grew up with Harry Potter. For a young transgender teenager to grow up wondering how Hogwarts would accommodate them, only to hear the author who gave us Hogwarts in the first place disapprove of equal rights for transgender people, must be very disheartening. However, JK Rowling has proven that she has no idea how powerful the legacy her books created really is. She was tasked with following up the Harry Potter series, and what she gave us was inconsistent and very poorly written screenplays. I have read better sequels on tumblr. Lots of them. Hogwarts doesn’t belong to JK Rowling, it belongs to the fandom. And I’ll be willing to bet my last penny that if Professor McGonigall witnessed any bullying of transgender students in her classroom (or indeed the girls bathroom!) she’d absolutely defend the victim without a moment’s hesitation. Hermione would decorate the Gryffindor common room with little blue, pink and white flags in support of a transgender first year who’d just been sorted into Gryffindor. Luna Lovegood would sit and befriend any trans student who looked lonely, and Ginny would dish out a bat bogey hex to anyone who dared pick on them. No matter what JK Rowling thinks, Hogwarts is not hers to ruin. It is ours. Regardless of what makes us different, Hogwarts is our home.

[writing-is-my-guilty-pleasure]

Patient || Kylo Ren/Ben Solo x Reader ~ Part 4

A/N: Part 4! Thanks for everyone’s patience (lol) with this part - Uni has been incredibly time consuming and I’ve just been too tired to write anything - so I’m trying to write a few things in advance on my Christmas holiday! I think there should only be one or two more parts in this series, and feedback is always welcome :)

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 

Main Masterlist

Star Wars Masterlist

“What’s your reason?” Your eyes flickered up to meet Kylo’s after he spoke, trying to make sense of his question as your eyes unintentionally trailed over his face.

“My reason for what, Sir?” You eventually replied as you gave up trying to figure out what he was talking about. Why did he have to speak so cryptically? “You’re going to have to give me more than that – it could mean anything knowing you.” You smiled cheekily at him from your position at the end of his bed; this time he’d called you with a deep gash stretching up the side of his left leg. It looked incredibly painful, and you couldn’t comprehend how he was purposefully putting himself through this much pain just to see you – at least, that’s what you hoped he was doing, otherwise you were completely misreading this whole situation.

“You reason for joining the First Order.” Kylo spoke bluntly. “You’ve been fixing me up for months now, and yet I feel like we are still strangers to each other.” If you hadn’t just averted your gaze back to his leg, you might have noticed the corners of his lips twitch up into the slightest shadow of a smile – but it was gone as quickly as it came.

“Oh! Oh, right, of course.” You smiled. “Well, my father was the Chief Medical Officer when he was in the First Order, and on his breaks he’d always try and teach me as much as he could about medicine before my mother caught him teaching me things that were too gory or troubling for my ‘young eyes’.” You huffed out a laugh at the thought of your parents. “So I joined because I wanted to be a Doctor and to hopefully be the Chief Medical Officer myself one day – I love my father and I’d be proud to follow in his footsteps and be as half as successful as he was.”

“And I wouldn’t say we’re strangers – I mean I’m pretty familiar with your body by now.” Your eyes widened at the realisation of what you said, and you continued in slight panic. “Not like that! I didn’t mean it to sound like that at all, Sir, oh dear.” You sighed, deflated. “I look like such an idiot now.” You muttered under your breath, as you returned your efforts to applying some soothing balm to Kylo’s wound, and preparing the equipment you’d need to give him stitches.

“It’s alright.” Kylo peered down at his leg to try and see what you were doing. “I’m used to your tongue-tied manner of speaking by now.” You raised your eyebrows in surprise.

You let out a giggle at his attempt at a mild joke, and the rest of your visit was spent in friendly silence, dispersed with the occasional small talk.

 “Y/N!” You jerked upright in your seat, blinking rapidly as you came to your senses, the memory of one of your favourite interactions with Kylo fading from your mind. Yasmyn was staring at you in slight concern. “Are you alright? I’ve been trying to get your attention for a minute now.”

“Oh yes, sorry!” You sighed, running a hand through your hair distractedly. “I’m fine thanks, just a bit tired I guess.” You adjusted yourself on Yasmyn’s bed; the two of you were having your weekly girl’s night – or as girly as it could get aboard the ship.

“Something on your mind?” Yasmyn asked sympathetically as she finished braiding her long, dark hair. “Or someone?” She grinned at you, wiggling her eyebrows. “Maybe someone tall, dark and mysterious?”

“I wasn’t thinking about Kylo.” You chided firmly, trying not to let your blush be too visible. At least once every girl’s night the topic of Kylo Ren would be brought up, as Yasmyn was always eager to hear about what the you and Kylo had shared with each other, because ‘even though he’s practically the leader of our fleet, nobody knows anything about him, and the gossip on this ship is so dry, your relationship with Kylo is the only thing I have going right now’.

“I never said you were thinking about Kylo.” Yasmyn grinned triumphantly. “I only said you might be thinking about someone tall, dark and mysterious. I never said it was Kylo, Y/N. I never said-” She was cut off as you threw a pillow at her face in retaliation.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Another two months had gone by since Kylo’s incident with the ‘scavenger girl’ – although it was never too easy to tell the time in space, and you had gone from being someone relatively quiet and unknown except to those you worked with, to someone whose name was slowly being passed around the entire ship. This wasn’t your fault – you hated having more attention than was necessary – no, the only person you could blame for this sort of attention was none other than Kylo Ren.

Over these two months, he’d managed to amass a mysterious amounts of injuries – when you compared the sheer amount of times you’d been called in to the times he was off the ship or in training, you were finding it harder and harder to believe that Kylo wasn’t getting all these injuries on purpose. But try as you might, you couldn’t really complain about it, as every time that you were called to assist Kylo, the more you got to know him, and the more you opened up to him.

But the closer the two of you grew, the more the rumours started to spread around the ship; and they were very clearly not in your favour. Because the more you were sent to assist Kylo, the more your co-workers noticed, and the nosier they all got; every time you returned from a trip to Kylo’s room you were crowded with questions from those closer to you, and judgemental and resentful glances from everyone else.

By now, whether because of these rumours or not, you’d got a reputation for yourself, and had even been personally called by other high-ranking officers to personally assist them – if you were good enough for Kylo Ren, then you were good enough for them. And that was actually how you got yourself into the situation that you were currently in. You were currently attending a very important meeting regarding a mission that would put quite a lot of Stormtroopers at risk, so you had also brought various medical records and lists of all the medical equipment on-board the ship. You had also had to evaluate the percentages of how many soldiers would either die or be seriously injured, so the rest of the medical team could prepare the right amount of equipment.

When the meeting was originally arranged, it was supposed to be attended by the Chief Medical Officer, however he was needed elsewhere; he had an emergency surgery that he needed to attend, and he trusted you out of all the other medics to cover for him. Possibly because he knew Kylo…favoured you over everyone else.

“So,” General Hux spoke up, finally starting the meeting. “The attack on the rebel base will begin with at least a quarter of the soldiers on-board, as we currently only have a rough estimate of just how many rebel soldiers are hiding out in that base.” You nodded, typing out quick notes on your personal padd for later.

“We’ll most likely be sending about one third or our forces down to begin with – enough to scare the rebel forces and if needed we can send in reinforcements.” Hux moved tiny digital figures about on a screen, illustrating where each group of the forces would be positioned to attack the base. “The rest of the fleet will be on standby in case a new strategy is required and a temporary retreat is needed. I would hope that our forces aren’t pathetic enough for us to even consider retreating.” He turned abruptly, eyeing you haughtily. “Do we have sufficient medical supplies for the foreseeable casualties?”

You looked up nervously from your padd – you’d been making rough notes about this most recent plan so you could report back to your boss and he could begin to prepare everything.

“Yes, General Hux, I do believe that we have enough supplies.” You pulled yourself together, trying not to ‘um’ and ‘err’ your way through your sentence. “But of course, I will send all the necessary figures to my superior as I do not have full access to all our equipment, and in the case that there are any supplies we may be short on.” You added as an afterthought – if there was anything that needed to be ordered you didn’t want the responsibility to be solely yours. “One third of the forces was it? And the rest on standby…” You re-capped while scribbling down extra notes. “And my superior sends his most sincere apologies that he could not be here instead of me.”

“No matter.” General Hux waved away your apology indifferently. “As long as all information gets relayed I could not care less who is here in his stead.” And with that, he continued with explaining the various stages of the attack.

Then, just as you were retreating slightly back into the mass of officers crowded around the main screen, you heard someone speak under their breath; ‘Well, it won’t be long until she does have authority to all our medical supplies, considering she’s been sleeping her way to the top with Ren. And then who knows how irresponsibly she’d use our supplies.”

You stop where you stand, feeling a flush creep up your face, turning it bright red in embarrassment. You could see those nearest to you glancing in your direction with obvious distain and disapproval, as if they were imagining a future where you were in some ways their superior. You could hear whispers on every side, many of them agreeing with the nameless whisperer, and you finally opened your mouth to defend yourself, when-

“I hope you’re not insinuating that I, the descendant of Darth Vader, would be capable of behaving like a common whore on my ship.” Kylo’s cold, slightly robotic voice echoed loudly across the room, silencing everyone, including General Hux. Nobody dared to speak, and you stood frozen in a mix of fear and embarrassment. “Because that’s certainly what it sounded like, Lieutenant Kendell.” At this, a few people subtly turned their heads in the direction of the offending statement, and you turned to see a relatively weedy looking man visibly shrink away from Kylo.

“I- of course, no sir, I didn’t mean to offend you-” You watched him backtrack, stammering over his response as Kylo simply stood, watching him. “I-I simply wish to see our forces grow and thrive, and was only remarking that this medic would not be our best way of seeing this happen – I mean she may be far too inexperienced for such a role-”

“So you assume she is using me to gain status? Her family name far outranks yours in any case, Lieutenant, so such foolish thoughts are unnecessary.” Kylo interrupted, and the room seemed to grow darker. “You assumed that I would succumb to any such advances?” He took one single step towards the unfortunate Lieutenant. “You forget your place, Lieutenant. It would be wise not to do so again in the future. It would be unfortunate to lose a member of our staff because of such a foolish mistake.” With this threat hanging in the air, he turned, cape flowing dramatically behind him, to face Hux, who continued his speech.

As everyone began to settle down, you couldn’t help but let your mind wander as you replayed the conflict. You weren’t hurt by Kylo’s behaviour, more confused that he would go out of his way to seemingly defend your honour – you assumed he wouldn’t want people to know that the two of you were even relatively acquainted. You mulled over your thoughts, confusion fogging your mind as you absentmindedly followed suite and exited the room amidst the other officers, heading back to the med-wing.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Later that day, after you’d relayed all information back to your boss, and sent him the notes you’d made, you finally made the journey back to your room. Luckily, it was your day off tomorrow, so you could afford to have a nice, relaxing shower that would hopefully clear your mind of the stresses of the day.

Eventually, when you’d got out of the shower and put on less formal clothes, (not quite pyjamas – these were your own clothes so your evening consisted of leggings and an oversized shirt) you just so happened to check your padd for any messages from Yas, when you saw a message in your inbox that was unread. Upon checking it, your blood ran cold – it had been sent 8 minutes ago, and it was from Kylo himself. Not another officer messaging on his behalf, but from Kylo himself.

You sat bolt upright from where you had been reclining in bed, and double checked the message. It was from Kylo alright, and it had been sent-

“Eight minutes ago?!” You shrieked, hurriedly scrambling to your feet, shoving your feet in your usual uniformed shoes, pulling on a long cardigan and rushing out of your room. It took you longer than eight minutes to get to Kylo’s chambers, but it was a decent enough amount of delay from the time the message was sent to when you actually saw it, that Kylo would be sure to notice that you were eight minutes later than you should have been. He didn’t even set a time; he had simply requested your presence in his chamber, but the underlying message was that your presence was to be requested immediately.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

About fifteen minutes later, you skidded to a halt outside Kylo’s chambers, having run most of the way there. You frantically tried to catch your breath as you smoothed your hair, trying to appear as though you hadn’t spent the last fifteen minutes worrying that your lungs were going to explode. You introduced yourself to the guards outside Kylo’s room, and no sooner than you spoke the door slid open, one of the guards gesturing for you to go through.

“You’re late.” Kylo stated after the door had closed behind you. He was standing at his window, back to you, helmet off.

“My apologies, Sir.” You began, taking a few cautious steps forwards. “I was…well, occupied at the time that you sent the message. Believe me, I would have come sooner if I had seen your request sooner-”

“Occupied?” Kylo turned to face you, his expression impassive as ever; his interrupting statement, rather than question lingering in the air. “I was under the impression that once your shift was over you no longer need to be occupied.”

“Um...” You flushed slightly, subconsciously running a hand through your damp hair. “Occupied…in my shower?” You avoided his burning stare. There was silence for a moment, as if Kylo was trying to determine whether or not he believed you without delving too deep into your mind.

“You are excused of your tardiness this time.” He eventually spoke, and you relaxed slightly.

“If I may, Sir, why did you want me here?” You ventured, rocking back and forth on your heels as you glanced around the (now) familiar room. “If it’s to do with the comments made in the meeting earlier, I apologise if I’ve done anything to-to damage your reputation-”

“If anyone was going to ruin my reputation, it would not be you.” He cut in coolly. “You are not exactly in a position to do so.” He gestured to a chair set out in front of his desk. “Sit. We have much to discuss.” You did as he said, shifting around on the surprisingly soft seat, trying to get comfortable. He too, sat down in a chair he seemingly pulled out of the shadows of his room.

“If you think it is better for not to…run into each other more often, Sir, I understand that.” You started, leaning forwards in your seat. “I feel like rumours about-” you paused, unsure if you could refer to whatever the two of you were as ‘us’, but decided to go with it anyway. “Us, have been following me for almost a week now and it could ruin any chance I have of becoming Chief Medical Officer because everyone thinks I just sleep around and haven’t earned my place because of my family name.” You continued in frustration. “And it doesn’t help that, no offence, you seem to acquire a range of injuries from who knows where, and nobody else seems to want to take up the job because they’re convinced we’re having an affair or something – I’m lucky my boss is sympathetic towards me otherwise I could have lost my job or been demoted by now.” The words seemed to tumble from your lips, unending.

“You think my situation is any better?” Kylo stood, beginning to pace around the room. “I have the power of the Force, I can easily tell what people are thinking, and they do little to conceal their thoughts in my presence.” He spun on his heel, his bulking form towering over you. “I will not be taken for a fool by those pathetic enough to believe such rumours. I will not let them defile my name and my presence, or yours-” he cut himself off as his voice grew louder in anger. You stood as well, anxiously wringing your hands.

“I appreciate that, Sir.” You said quietly. “I know what’s on the line for you, and I’m sorry that it got this far. Maybe it would be better for a different medic to attend to your many injuries.” You felt more dejected than you probably should – after all this was a professional relationship.

“That won’t be necessary. While I am sure your co-workers are capable at doing their job, I know that you are most familiar with what antidotes work with my body and what do not.” Kylo dismissed your suggestion.

“Well what do you suggest?” You asked, a hint of exasperation in your tone. “While I do enjoy your company, Sir, I don’t want our meetings to affect your image.” There was a pause as Kylo took in your words.

“No. I will not be bullied by my insubordinates.” You heard him say, almost to himself. “We shouldn’t even be having this conversation; I don’t need to please the rest of the fleet – I just need them to win me this fight against the rebellion.” He strode to stand in front of you, and you gazed up at him. “I should not have to change my behaviour for them, and neither should you.” You opened your mouth in protest.

“But Sir, I-”

“You are under my protection. If there is anyone giving you trouble, you will report it straight to me.” He stood tall, not like that was hard for him to do, and you swallowed heavily, in awe of the sheer power he radiated. “That is an order. Do you understand?” His voice grew quieter at the end of his sentence; but he was no less grand.

“Yes, Sir.” You replied, suddenly finding it difficult to speak clearly, a smile visible on your face for the first time that day. “Thank you, Sir.”

“I think we’re past the use of such formalities, considering that today you’ve been accused of sleeping your way to power and I have been accused of doing such with someone of a lower station.” He said smoothly, his face as clear of emotion as ever.

“How else should I address you?” You asked, slightly flustered. (And slightly stung by the ‘lower station’ jab but it was the truth.) This must be one of the most bizarre days of my life, you thought to yourself, mind racing.

“You strike me as an intelligent woman, Officer Y/N; surely you do not need me to spell it out for you. Obviously the usual title when others are present.” He said, now walking you towards his door, hands behind his back, his form looming over yours. “Just because I allowed you to address me as such in private, I must remind you I will not be as lenient when we are in public.” He said placidly.

You nodded in acknowledgement. Kylo it is then – that was the only less formal title that you could think of. “Of course. I wouldn't dream of doing any such thing, Kylo.” You saw the left corner of his mouth twitch ever so slightly at your words as he opened the door, allowing you to step through. “I do hope you don't over-exert yourself in training, or do anything to worsen your injuries.” You called as you started to walk back down the corridor. “It would be a shame to meet again so prematurely.” For one of the most feared men in the galaxy, he isn’t nearly as subtle as he thinks, your smile widening as you walk back in the direction of your room, and you could have sworn you heard a chuckle echo down the corridor behind you.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Taglist: @ah-callie​

(also tagging @joscelyn02​ - just in case you wanted to know when the next part was out :) )

[rpd-rookie]

What Does The ‘S’ Stand For ? - Leon S. Kennedy x Reader

Summary: When you learn that Leon got the job you desperately wanted you decide to pay him a visit to congratulate him and finally put an end to the competition between the two of you in favour of some cooperation. Turns out, cooperation sometimes involve taking your clothes off.

Author’s Note: Some one-shot involving (pre) RE2 Remake Leon, a very sassy reader and some smut. I haven't written that genre in a while though. Hope I'm not too rusty. And by the way, if you notice some terrible grammatical mistakes please let me know (English is not my mother tongue). Anyway, I wish you'll like this story and as usual don't forget to like/reblog and tell me what you think about it.

Warning: SMUT and Language. You can also expect some humour and some fluff. 

Also available on AO3

Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, “Competition has been shown to be useful up to a certain point and no further, but cooperation, which is the thing we must strive for today, begins where competition leaves off.” Wise words. But clearly Roosevelt never had to compete with Kennedy, and by Kennedy you didn’t mean John F. Kennedy but another Kennedy, one with less charisma yet better hair (hell, got to render unto Caesar what’s Caesar’s), Leon S. Kennedy - ‘S’ probably standing for “sucker” or “saint” in your opinion. After all, the guy was such a goody two-shoes. Teacher’s favourite. Neat and tidy top student. Perfect arbiter of right and wrong. And certainly, the only guy in the academy who didn’t stick his cock in Barbara Johnson’s pussy. Weird since she also had a president’s name just like him. Could have been the perfect opportunity for a horizontal presidential debate.

If it wasn’t clear already, you didn’t like Kennedy very much. But it was not for the reasons mentioned above. No, you could tolerate the fact that he was the embodiment of virtue and morals. What you could not tolerate though, was that he was better than you at everything. At fundamentals, at crime prevention and analysis, at counterintelligence, at physical agility, at shooting, at… well, you get the point. It infuriated you. He infuriated you. You never had the chance to beat him. Never. He was always top of your class and you were always close second.           So of course, when you received the letter from the Raccoon City Police Department informing you that your application had been rejected and that the position had been given to someone else, you did the math.       Only Kennedy could have taken that job away from you. After all, you had heard him talking about Raccoon City at lunch break quite a few times in the past weeks and each time he had sounded so excited – well, as excited as cannibalistic murders can make you of course. Truth is, you had also shown interest in this city the moment its terrible crimes hit the first page of the newspapers alongside the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal, collecting every tiny article about it and telling your classmates what a thrilling experience it would be to work on that case. You had even imagined yourself wearing the blue uniform, RPD largely written on your chest, making a report about the rotting body of a camper found in the Arklay mountains.

You sighed, disappointment hitting you hard again. And with a hesitant hand, you knocked at the door in front of you somewhat ready to let go of the competition in favour of some cooperation. You barely waited a couple of seconds before Kennedy opened the door, a cordless telephone against his ear. He appeared genuinely surprised to see you there. “Call you back later, mom.” He said before hanging up the phone, still staring at you with astonished eyes. “Y/N.”   

“Telling your mommy about the amazing job you just got?” Your question had sounded more barbed and curter than indented. Bitterness probably. Leon sighed. He knew exactly what you meant. “Look, if it is about Raccoon City…” “Of course it is about Raccoon City. Why do you think I’m here? To discuss fashion?” You entered his bedsit without asking and looked around you. So well organized and tidy, so military. Pff. Where were the greasy pizza boxes, the nasty underwear on the floor and the bin filled with used tissues all the other guys usually had?      

You turned around to face him with a stone cold expression. “I’m guessing you knew I wanted that post.”           “Yeah but…” You cut him off. You couldn’t care less about the thing he wanted to say. “I don’t blame you. Had I been in your place I would have apply for it too. Damn, I even applied without being in your place, so … The point is, I wanted to congratulate you – even if it hurts me to do so – and tell you that I’m glad this competition between the two of us is finally coming to end.” Leon briefly chuckled and kept an amused smile on his face. This wasn’t the kind of words he had expected from you. “Well, thanks I guess.”       “You’re welcome” You dramatically put a hand over your heart “Gosh, it kills me to be so polite to you, Kennedy.” He retained a laugh and you approached him to slam a heavy blue binder against his - surprisingly strong - chest. Wow, muscles! “Take this.” You reluctantly said with a strangled voice as if you were a mother giving up her baby . “Take care of it. It’s the work of a lifetime … sort of.”

Leon furrowed his brows and opened the folder. Inside, there were all the articles you had collected about Raccoon City since the reveal of the incidents to the public eye plus some notes you had written during you personal late-night investigations. Leon skimmed through them. They were incredibly detailed and you could see how impressed he was. Damn, you wished you had your camera to immortalise this moment. “It won’t be of any use to me now. And it took me too much time to just throw it away so have it. Take it as parting gift.” “Wow, Y/N. I don’t know what to say.” He looked beyond happy. It made you smile. What the hell, Y/N?           “Thank you, maybe?” You swallowed you smile back before he could notice, choosing to replace what could have been something sweet and nice by sarcasm. “Yes, sure.” He grinned. “Thank you.” You nodded. “I don’t want you to have a heart attack so you’re not obliged to say ‘you’re welcome’.” He teased you and as much as you wanted to find the joke lame, you surprisingly found it rather funny.   “Good. Cause that would have been too much for my heart to take in a single day.” He smiled again and this time you couldn’t help but gaze. You were forced to acknowledge he was very cute, handsome even, certainly the kind of guy you would have willingly flirt with if it hadn’t been for the relentless competition between the two of you. “You know it’s nice to see you smile.” Your eyes slightly widened. You had been smiling the whole time? No! “That wasn’t a smile. That was a sneer.” You quickly replied, trying to prevent him from spotting the sudden panic in your eyes.   “Sure.” But yeah, that was definitely a smile and right now your cheeks were burning.

You cleared your throat and looked back upon his face, hoping yours had found back its usual seriousness and scorn. “Well, gotta go. Good riddance, Kennedy. Good luck and try not to screw up.” You proceeded to the door, glad this conversation was over, but Leon was not ready to let you leave just yet. “You know, for me, there was never a competition between us.” You stopped and turned around. “What?” You frowned. “Of course, there was a competition.” He shook his head. “Not for me.”   “Are you telling me that I have deprived myself of sleeping, fallen into coffee addiction and lost my entire social life for two years in the hope of finally beating you at a freaking test while you …” You could tell he was clearly trying not to laugh but his mocking grin was enough to make you blow a fuse. Well, a funny fuse … a funny desperate fuse “No! No!” You repeated, all irritated. “You’re kidding me!” He shrugged, playing all innocent. “Don’t fucking tell me you let me tilt at windmills!” He did. Bastard. Leon - Son of a bitch - Kennedy! That’s what the S stands for. You cursed in your head.           “I tried to tell you …” He started to explain to defend himself. “When?” You harrumphed, almost shouting at him. “Well, many times but …”           “Clearly not enough times.” Your sarcasm was back. “… each time you sent me packing” “I don’t do that.” You felt offended.         “I can’t barely make a full sentence with you!” You opened your mouth to retort but he stopped you by pointing a finger that undeniably meant ‘Careful what you’re going to say’. So you stood there, perfectly still, mouth opened, realising that he was probably right.             “You’re allowed to breath, you know.” He said as a response to your reaction but you didn’t know what to say anymore. Did you really spend all your time at the academy trying to win a non-existent competition? “Fuck.” You cursed, definitely dumbfounded.

Leon observed you, perplexed and wondering if you were going to stay rooted to the spot for the rest of the day. “Y/N” He waved in front of your face to pull you out from your thoughts but you barely noticed. “All that repressed sexual tension for nothing?” You asked yourself. Wait! Did you just say that out loud?           Panic-stricken, you looked up at Leon and judging by the way he was staring at you – all  ‘what the hell did she just say?’ – yep you did.       “You didn’t hear what I’ve just said.” You waved your hand past his face, like a Jedi would do in a Star Wars movie, knowing perfectly it wouldn’t work but hoping that ridicule would make the situation less awkward and give you a chance to run away from his room. It was a failure. “Yes, I did.”

And just like that, Leon Saint Sucker Son of a Bitch – whatever the S stood for - Kennedy caught your face in his hands and kissed you with a passion that made you gasp against him. You tried to resist for a second but then you decided to let go. After all, you had nothing to lose. The study years could be considered over and soon Leon would be in Raccoon City analysing amazing crimes while you would be God-knows-where writing parking tickets. You would never see each other again.     “Tell that to anyone, Kennedy and I’ll kick your gorgeous butt from here to Raccoon City.” You threatened, close to his mouth. “I won’t. Scout’s honour.” Leon Scout Kennedy? You shook your head (Stop being silly, Y/N!) before pushing Leon on the convertible sofa behind him.  

You straddled him without waiting, definitely willing to let your sudden eagerness and your repressed desire for him get the better of you. You met his lips in a new heated kiss, your body pressed against his, craving for lustful friction. And by the way Leon was holding you tight you could tell you weren’t the only one.             His tongue asked permission to enter your mouth and you happily granted it. Who would have thought that Leon Saint Kennedy was such a skilled kisser? Couldn’t he suck for once? Oh yeah, he could suck at your neck apparently. Damn.   A moan escaped your throat and you felt Leon smirk against your skin. “You like that?” He asked, proud of himself. You instinctively arched your neck asking for more, your hands weaving into his soft hair. “It’s not that bad.” You acknowledged and he suddenly bit you in the nape of your neck. “What the fuck?” You shouted, surprised. Leon laughed and you caught his face to kiss him and bite his lips in retaliation. But judging by the kinky smile on his angelic face, he didn’t seem to mind.             “You’re incorrigible.” You humoured. “Did I hurt you? I’m sorry.” He pecked your lips again and again and slowly began leaving a trail of light kissed down to your neck. “You’d better be. Aren’t you tired of making my life a misery?” You pretended to sulk as he kept on pressing his soft lips on your burning skin. You grabbed his chin, putting you thumb in his dimple and stared at him. How ridiculously hot he was right now with that arousal tinting his beautiful blue eyes and this dishevelled hair.  

“What do you have in mind, Y/N?” Rhetorical question. He knew exactly what you had in mind. Hell, it was basically the same thing he had in his.     “Stop playing coy and take your clothes off.” You whispered close to his face, your hot breath against his mouth, before pulling his bottom lip between your teeth “What about your silly competition?” He murmured back, his hands slowly falling along your sides.   “I’m all in for cooperation right now. So are you gonna give me a hand …” You started unbuckling his belt. “…or do I need to do everything by myself?” His eyes fixed upon yours mischievous ones, gazing at you with awe. You could tell he was completely at your mercy. “I’ll give you more than a hand.” You smirked and allowed your hands to unbutton his jeans. “I thought so.” He lifted his rear and you pulled down his jeans along with his boxers, biting your lips at the view of his beautiful cock. Jesus Christ Kennedy, Mother Nature certainly had been kind to you.

You stood up to undress yourself as well, dropping all your clothes to the floor, your eyes watching at Leon’s hastening hands fighting desperately with the buttons of his shirt. Clearly, you weren’t the only one that was impatient in this room, or horny.   You let him finish before taking your place back on his laps. His hard sex against your body, you slightly shivered, impatience eating you from within. “You’re gorgeous.” He said as he tucked few strands of your hair behind your ear. You couldn’t help but blush, not used to such compliments, and, as a consequence, in order to erase all sense of discomfort in you (if you could call it like that), you decided to focus your attention on his cock.   You brushed his length with your fingertips, admiring it with envy and lust, excited to do more with it. It made Leon hiss and you looked up at him. His eyes were pleading you. Without looking away from the blueness of his look, you caught his penis in your hand and started pumping it gently. Leon’s eyelids flickered; his head hit the back of the sofa and his mouth opened slightly. He seemed thankful, relieved even. You continued your gesture, watching him melting underneath you, listening to his now ragged breath with delight. God, that was sexy. He was sexy. Leon Sexy Kennedy. Suited him.

You bit your lips and decided to venture in between his legs, kneeling onto the floor. “What are you …” Leon complained when he suddenly stopped feeling you on top of him. You cut him short by guiding his cock to your mouth to softly kiss the pre cum-covered tip “Holy...” The rest of the sentence got stuck in his throat and turned into a growl as you eagerly sucked the head of his cock like a Popsicle. You smiled and licked his length, staring at how ecstatic he looked from this angle. “You like that?” You winked as you quoted him and he laughed. “Women.”   You engulfed his cock deep in your mouth and started bobbing your head. A new sigh of pleasure escaped his mouth and you felt him instantly relax on the couch. “God, you’re amazing.” You liked the compliment and to show your appreciation you decided to massage his balls as you kept on sucking him. You received a lustful grunt in response and soon Leon’s hand grabbed your hair to give you a quicker pace, almost making you gag on him. “Oh, sorry.“ What a gentleman! “That’s okay.” You smiled in a very naughty way. “I like it.” He chortled and you took back his dick in your mouth, welcoming it deeper to show him you didn’t mind some roughness. “You know, if you keep doing this I’m soon going to cum in your mouth.”             You stopped, licked your lips and crawled back onto his lap. “That would be a shame.” You joked sarcastically, hands back in his hair “Got a condom?”

The way you pronounced the words, all smiley and adorable, made him laugh again. He pushed you softly to open the drawer of his nightstand and find your one-way ticket for cloud nine. “There!” He announced excited as he showed you the contraceptive. “But first …” He suddenly grabbed your ankles to pull you towards him, making you slightly yelp in the process. “There’s something I got to do”   He lay down on the couch, spread your legs and immediately nestled his head right in between your thighs, making you instantly shiver. So, that’s what he got to do.   You sighed when you felt his breath against you swollen clit but it was only when his tongue met your pink flesh that you realised how aroused you truly were. You were so wet.           “Fuck, am I the one to blame for such a mess?” He joked but his mouth and tongue felt so good in between your thighs that you could only just moan and arch your back, begging for proper sucking and licking. He didn’t make you wait and gave you what you wanted as he started fondling your clit with his tongue. “Leon” That was the first time you where saying his first name and you got to admit, you liked the sound of it. “Yes, sweetheart?”   “Keep going, please.” You begged and he sucked on your bud, gazing at you melting under his touch as he did. You grasped his hair when he finally let a finger enter your core. Fuck, he was good. You moved your hips instinctively against him and he added a new finger. It sank into you as easily as the first one and you cried out, finding it impossible to be discreet anymore. “Fuck, Leon. I want you. I want you now.” You begged.   “Wait a second.” He asked, definitely loving your taste too much for him to stop just now. He pumped his fingers in your pussy, licking your juices greedily and you clenched your thighs around his head, feeling the imminence of your orgasm slowly yet surely approaching. “Now, Leon. Now! Please”

Leon obeyed this time and he quickly sat up and grabbed the condom he had left on the pillow next to him. He put the red wrapper between his teeth and tore it open. Then he rolled the condom down his length with both his hands. You watched him all the time, your fingers massaging your clit, finding him terribly arousing at this very moment.

Once ready, Leon bent over you to kiss you again and he tapped his hard cock on your hand to ask access to your humid entrance. You didn’t object of course and even spread your legs wider. Soon enough, you felt him slide in between your wet lips and then finally push slowly yet exquisitely inside of you. You closed your eyes as he did and drew a sharp breath once you felt him fully inside. You didn’t need time to adjust to him as if your body was meant for him. Guess Leon felt it too as he immediately took a quick pace and began pounding you. You let your hands wander on his smooth chest from his strong pectorals down to his divine abs and the chiselled V below his navel, finding him simply gorgeous. Then you grasped his hips, and nudge his rear with your ankles, pressing his pelvis closer to you to take him deeper, and started moaning his name again. His hands caught your bouncing breasts to play with your nipples, and you rapidly felt the strong wave of pleasure back in your core, ready to drown you. “Fuck, Leon!” His mouth met one of your teats and sucked on it with ardour. That was too much to handle. “I think I’m gonna cum.” You cried out.         “Yeah?” You nodded, letting a tear of pleasure escape your eyes. “Cum for me then.” He didn’t have to say it twice and few seconds later, you dug your nails in his hipbones and screamed loudly as you clenched around his cock, finally coming undone under his thrusts.

Stunned, breathless and at the same time a bit embarrassed that you had already reached your orgasm, you let Leon kiss you soft lips with a smile on his face. “See, you reached the finishing line before me.” He humoured.           “Fuck off.” You whispered, amused yet completely exhausted. He chuckled and pressed his lips against yours one more time before gently pushing you flat on your stomach. “I’m not done with you yet.” He whispered in your ear.  

You moaned loudly when he thrust back into your wet core, pinning you down on the mattress that you ultimately grabbed tightly in order to stay in place. He started pounding you again, holding you by the hips, taking delight in watching your sweet butt bouncing against him as he was burying himself deeper than he had ever done before. “Jesus, Y/N!” He growled before spanking you.         You gasped, astonished but in a good way. You had never thought he was that kind of guy. “Really, Kennedy? Spanking? That’s what the ‘S’ in your name stands for?” He laughed, still fucking you from behind. “I thought you would like it.” “Oh but I do. I just never thought it was your thing.”         “You should stop taking me for a saint, Y/N.” He wiped the sweat from his forehead, brushing the strand of hair covering his right eye away and focused again on his movements. “It’s not my fault. It’s your baby face.” You confessed in between two moans. He brutally stopped and you wondered for a second if what you had just said had actually vexed him.       “My baby face? Really?” He repeated in your ear with a smirk as he grabbed you by the hair. “Who’s been crying out my name the whole time?” Holy shit. You instinctively braced yourself and when he resumed his hammering you knew it was a smart decision. Leon started growling even more loudly as he slowed yet deepened his movements inside of you, his hand in your hair, using your body as leverage. He was almost aggressive but you moaned nevertheless, out of breath, feeling a new orgasm building inside of you. Really? You clenched around him, trying to hold your orgasm a bit longer, unwilling to give him the satisfaction to cum around him again.

When Leon’s hard pounding started to get sloppy you realised he was really close to his release. “Jesus, I’m almost there.” He admitted.         You don’t know how you found the strength to push him on his back but you did. Sitting on top of him, you removed the condom, threw it carelessly onto the floor and started to jerk him off. “I want you to cum on me.” You confessed. A guttural moan vibrated in his throat and he let himself sprawl on the mattress, leaving you in complete charge of his pleasure. You grinded against his cock as your hand kept on firmly going up and down his length. It drove Leon crazy and you soon felt him throbbing in your grip. His breath became even more ragged and jerky and small spasms took control of his body. You angled his cock towards you and soon, a hot load of thick cum spurted on your stomach and breasts as Leon cursed and grunted between his gritted teeth. “Fuck, Y/N!”

You smiled and let go of his member, proud and satisfied of your work, looking at poor panting Leon who had a beautiful yet exhausted smile on his face. “You killed me, woman.” He joked and you briefly laughed. Then, you wiped his cum off your body with your fingers and brought them to your mouth, sucking them eagerly and swallowing the white seed looking right in Leon’s eyes. You had the feeling he would find it very hot. “Jesus Christ” Bull’s eye!

He circled you with his strong arms and pulled you against his chest. His heart was beating wildly and you allowed yourself to huddle a bit more against him to enjoy the melody. Post-coital cuddling session? Not sure that was a good idea but you decided to go for it and so did Leon as he chose to burry his nose in your hair and kiss the top of your head.

“Scott” He whispered sleepily. You looked up, wondering what he meant. “That’s what the ‘S’ stands for. Leon Scott Kennedy.”

Scott? You repeated in your head with a soft smile. Oh well, that didn’t sound so bad even though, right now, you preferred Leon ‘Stay’ Kennedy.

[myblueeyedbuggers]

My Boys

Chapter 11

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14

Pairings: Steve Rogers X Reader (Best Friend) Bucky Barnes X Reader

Word Count: 1531

Warnings: Language, Bullying Themes

Summary: After being abandoned by her parents in Brooklyn in 1929, y/n makes a living for herself by working for the Црни лабуд gang until she meets two boys in a back alley and her life slowing begins to change.

Eyup my Loves! so it’s been a while since I last added to the story, I tried my best to keep my writing similar to my previous chapters, let me know what you all think! any advice or constructive criticism is welcome :) I’ll shush now, enjoy!

(This is what I Imagine Annetta to look like :) )

So, in case you were all wondering, the day didn’t get any better. I mean I kinda knew that kids my age could be massive A holes to each other, but I didn’t really expect to see it literally the flipping second I ‘walked’ through the doors. And by walked I mean dragged by the duo known as my own personal demons, or Steve and Bucky to the rest of the population.  A crowd of kids were all gathered around a row of lockers, loads of the shitheads were cheering and encouraging whatever the hell was goin’ on, and as I was about to find out it wasn’t a surprise performance by Frank Sinatra. Safe to say that was a bigger disappointment that diet coke. Anyway, what was I saying ? oh yeah, stood at the front of the crowd were a bunch of lasses that couldn’t of been older than 16, in their hands was a bunch of eggs and flour. At the bottom of their feet, on the floor, was a kid around the same age as me, her glasses were snapped in half and the bottom of to shirt was ripped, but what disgusted me the most was the fact she was begging for help as these girls smashed egg after egg into her face. You know how bulls lose their shit when they see somethin’ red? Yeah imagine that but 10x worse, the lads didn’t have time to stop me as I tore through the crowd ready to beat the ever-loving shit outta these pricks.

“‘OI! WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT ARE YOU DOIN’”  the crowd fell silent as the girls turned to me with what one can only assume was supposed to be a ‘threatening’ glare, if I’m being completely honest it looked like they’d all simultaneously crapped em self’s. One of the girls stepped forwards, she was only a tad taller than me, her hair was a bright red, her green eyes were narrowed at me like she couldn’t believe someone was actually talking back to her. I think this is the part where I yell surprise right ? no? okay then. “Not that I care, but who the hell do you think you are? You got any idea who I am?” she sneered at me, oh my god! I’ve found someone with a bigger ego than Bucky. How in the hell is that possible. “well from first glance I’da said Santa Clause’s ex-wife but I reckon he’d have a better taste in girls now I’ve seen you up close”. And que the outraged gasps from her minions in 3,2,1…. I could hear a few people laughin’ and if I weren’t mistaken a very loud “Oh Jesus wept” from barney boy. Oooh yeah that’s when I know I’m doing my job right.

“YOU BITCH!” she screamed at me, her grubby little hands started swinging towards me in such an exaggerated way it was almost funny, I mean come on anyone coulda seen that comin’ from a mile off. And like the genius I am, I literally just side stepped her as she lunged forward,  an’ from the look on her face she weren’t expecting that, it was like the world slowed down as she surged forward unable to stop herself. Well that was till she landed head -first in the bin. I’d be a big fat liar if I said I wasn’t on the floor dying from laughter. Her legs were flailing above her head as she struggled to pull herself outta there, her cronies tried to help by grabbing her legs but that ended with one of em sporting one heck of a shiner on her right eye. A small sniffle pulled my attention away from the rather hilarious sight, glancing behind me I saw the young lass still on the ground, holdin’ her glasses which were in half with tears rolling down her cheeks. “hey, it’s okay now, they’ve gone. Here take my hand, lets get ya cleaned up eh? Reckon they’re be a bathroom round here somewhere”. The lass didn’t say anything to me, only looking at me with apprehension before taking my outstretched hand and leading us to the bathroom, the sound of the crowd growing quieter as we moved further away from it. “Thanks for saving me from Monica, she’s been bullying me since we were 11, nobody’s ever stood up for me before.” Her voice was so quiet, it shook from the effort it took her to hold back her tears, and I admired her strength, not a lotta girls woulda gone this long and not tell a teacher. “Don’t worry about it mate, I’m sorry it took so long for someone to defend ya, my names y/n by the way, don’t think we’ve met” her brown eyes met mine, as a small smile spread across her face, I couldn’t really tell what colour her hair was but I’m guessing it’s a shade a brown,  other than that she looked like a completely normal person. “My names Annetta, you’re right we ain’t met yet but I’m glad we did”.

-Later that day

It took us ‘bout 30 minutes to get all the egg off Annetta, best we could do was wash it off and cover up the stains with the cardigan I leant her, but what really put the icing on the cake was the teacher in period 1 yellin’ at us for being so late. The temptation to yeet my shoe at someone had never been as strong as it was in that moment, fortunately for the overgrown turnip of a teacher I had to settle for a mean ass side eye. And man was it a mean one.

Apart from that the day had gone by with no more incidents, well unless you count me chasing Bucky round the canteen with a carton of milk for stealin’ half my lunch, much to Annetta’s entertainment and Steve’s embarrassment. I mean the butthole deserved it, nobody and I mean NOBODY messes with my lunch. Even blue-eyed boys with a smile that could charm the devil….what am I sayin’?!

ANYWAYS it’s now what? 4th period I think, which meant English with Annetta, and maybe my favourite boys in the world. Shakespeare and Charles Dickens. Bet ya thought I were gonna say Steve and Bucky right? Well they’re currently sat behind me debating who’d win in a fight, Popeye, or Bugs Bunny. I’m surrounded by idiots. Thankfully, the teacher walked into the classroom and saved me, Mrs Davis seemed like a nice woman, she had a friendly smile and roundish face, her hair tied back into a neat bun as she took a seat. Now I’ll save you the boring bits, she started the lesson with a pop quiz which was just plain rude, about halfway through it the door burst open and there stood my best friend in the entire world. Monica. I have to say I loved her new style, the schools P.E kit really brought out the judgement in her eyes, did you detect my sarcasm yet?.

You wanna know what made her entrance even more dramatic ? the lovely aroma of gone off milk and rotted banana skins that followed her around the room,  I could help the smirk on my face as everyone around me started gagging at the smell. If you ask me I reckon it’s an improvement, I mean she certainly captures the attention of everyone in the room. Monica’s face started to match her hair, quickly racing over to Mrs Davis to give her the tardy slip before taking her seat which just had to be across from me, whoopee for me. Eventually Mrs Davis got the attention back to her, carrying on with her lesson, which moved onto matching up the famous English literature quotes with the character and book. To be fair this was actually a load of fun for me, even if Steve butchered a line from Romeo and Juliet, I don’t remember Shakespeare saying, ‘ A rose by any other name would smell as bad’. The way I banged my head on the table made Annetta think I broke my neck. Fun times people.

Of course, my reaction didn’t escape Mrs Davis’s attention, just my luck eh?. “Miss y/n, seeing as you seem to know everything, answer me this. Elizabeth Bennet is a main character in a well-known book, she’s known for the quote ‘I am a no bird and no net ensnares me. I am a free human being with an independent will’. The question is who is the author of this book is it A) Charles Dickens B) Jane Austen or C) Arthur Conan Doyle ?”. Is she being for real right now?. “Miss? With no disrespect the question itself is wrong, that wasn’t said by Elizabeth Bennet from pride and Prejudice, but said by Jane Eyre, and it was written by Charlotte Brontë”. A small smile spread across her face, which was confusing as all heck and a tad creepy to be honest, “very well-done Miss y/n, that’s the first time a student has gotten that question correct.”……

What in the name of ever-loving fluff just happened?….

So our girl is back and kicking butt! hopefully it’s not as bad as I think it is, and again I want to thank you all again for being so patient with me, good news is I’ve got the rest of the book written already! I’ll be posting them at least once a week.

Lots of love,

Rose xxx

[ownworldresident]

We Are Our Own Heroes. Chapter 1: Saturday Game

Finally I bring you Liam and Cassie! I’ve been waiting for this moment. Enjoy! And stay safe xx

Book: The Royal Romance, seven years post-TRR

Premise:Six years after a tragic loss, Liam and his adopted daughter meet Cassandra, an artist with her own troubled past, and the three find in each other the friend they never knew they needed.

Disclaimer: Setting and some characters belong to Pixelberry studios. I am just borrowing them and will return them when they are feeling better.

Themes: found family, (power of) friendship, healing

The Master Masterlist (link) Our Own Heroes Masterlist (link)

Liam

Cheers echoed around him but drowned out with Liam’s focus on the game. Once strange, the din of the hall and the shouts and whistles from the court were now familiar and welcoming. The smallest shape on the court held his attention. A smile spread ear to ear as he watched her weave, duck and spin, darting under the taller girls’ arms. Near the edge of the court she caught the ball, and immediately came face to face with the tallest defender, who spread her arms wide.

“Come on, Emily!” Liam called. The nine-year-old winked at him, mischievous smirk across her red face, and Liam snorted. Her opponent reached to intercept, Emily bounced it past to her teammate, who turned and tucked it into the goal. Renewed cheers rose around him. Liam stretched out two thumbs-up to Emily as she caught the ball and returned to the centre of the court.

Emily’s coach, an energetic young woman, came to exchange a few words with her before the game resumed. Liam wondered what she was saying, but Emily’s smile grew, so he trusted it to be positive. Backing off the court, the coach -Cassandra- caught Liam’s eye and smiled, and he quickly turned back to Emily.

“Dad!” Emily squeaked, puffing as she came over immediately after the game. Those around them cast those familiar curious glances as he knelt to squeeze her hands. No one said anything anymore, but seeing their monarch at a netball game still seemed an odd sight.

“You were brilliant out there, Panda. Congratulations.” He tucked a pale blonde curl behind her ear. Emily grinned, still breathing heavily, and wiped her forehead with the back of her hand.

“Cassie said we can get ice cream after. Can we? Please?” Emily watched his for an answer and he pretended to consider. 

“Should we trust Cassie?” he asked, one eyebrow raised high. Emily frowned, then nodded.

“We can.” She glanced back to see her teammates gathering around Cassandra, pulling velcroed positions from their uniforms. Liam squeezed Emily’s hands to bring her back. 

“After that game, you can get whichever ice cream you like.” Liam released her hands, standing as she immediately raced off to her team.

Despite how red her pale face was, Emily sprinted across the court, pulling the ‘C’ from the front and back of her uniform. Liam watched her, smiling, but looked away when Cassandra caught his eye again. Lucky for him, a text alert came through to give him a reason. Two messages – Drake and Olivia. 

His best friend was commenting on hearing Liam had the weekend free. Liam knew how that conversation would go. Drake would ask him to come to that bar near the docks he raved about, and drink there for a while. Like old times, but avoiding the wedge still between them.

Olivia’s message was more direct. Don’t spend the whole weekend alone again, do something, like a human being. Olivia didn’t have a firm grasp on what constituted ‘alone’, which was adequate for her, but not for him. He didn’t answer either message.

As he put his phone away, Emily and Cassandra approached, chatting animatedly. Emily was still bright red, but it hardly impeded her limitless energy. They broke their conversation when she rushed forward.

“Cassie says you should come with us.” Emily hit him with her pleading eyes. He shook his head, grinning, then forced himself to look up. Liam would liken Cassandra to a resting summer sun, with bright dyed red hair and a smile that reached her eyes. 

“I’m sure your father has lots of important things to do,” Cassandra said, her voice deeper than he expected. When Emily looked at him like that, there was nothing he would say no to; a fact she knew very, very well.

“I have some time away,” he said. “I would be happy to to join you.”

The spectators filtered from the hall as the court was reset for the next game. Liam followed Emily and the rest of her team out as well. Several parents also came, and he was happy to be swept more by the crowd than Cassandra’s company.

The first several months of caring for Emily had drawn a lot of attention. He had second guessed his decision several times. It took a while, but the media eventually accepted the new normal, and moved on to the next interesting thing. Every big development had been the same: initial attention, then eventual acceptance.

Liam dropped her off at school most days, brought her to swimming lessons and netball games, and to dinner or a movie on special occasions. It would have been so easy to let his staff care for her, like his father had done for him. But he had made a promise, and would not reduce that to a roof over her head.

Besides, from the day he brought her to the palace Emily had been the most important person in his life. He wanted to be there for every important moment of hers.

They reached the ice cream van outside the courts and Liam hung back as the group of girls got their treats and Emily chatted with her friends. He wondered if her mother had been as social when she was younger. If she had smiled like that.

For the first time in months, the thought dredged up their last moments together; her last smile... the musty room... the heavy, metallic smell of blood... Liam grimaced, closing his eyes and acutely aware of being in public. The knowledge didn't help, and he sucked in laboured breaths as he tried to return to the present.

“Dad?” A tentative voice sounded beside him, small hand tugging on his jumper, and he blinked back to focus on her. She had a half finished ice cream cone in one hand, and a smear of it on her cheek. He smiled.

“Yes, Panda?”

“Are you okay?” Emily’s eyes were full of concern, and it pained Liam to see so much understanding in someone so young. He squeezed her shoulder, and nodded.

“I am, thank you,” he answered, then looked up at her teammates. “Go on, finish your ice cream with your friends. I’m okay. I promise.”

Emily watched him for a moment longer, then smiled wider, and returned to her team. Liam sighed, straightened his clothes, and hoped no one had noticed the brief exchange.

“King Liam?” Cassandra’s voice approached and he looked up, smiling. 

“Cassandra.” He held out a hand. “Good to meet you.”

She tried to hide a smile as she looked at his hand, then shook it.

“Call me Cassie,” she said, standing beside him and folding her arms.

“Liam,” he replied in kind. Cassie smiled and nodded, then a silence extended between them.

“You daughter is quite a rocket.” Cassie continued after a few moments,  raising an eyebrow as she glanced at him, then back to the group. Liam chuckled, seeing Emily almost lose her ice cream as she talked.

“She is,” he said, swallowing and ensuring he made at least periodic eye contact. Cassie’s eyes were a clear hazel, a distinguishing feature.

“I haven’t coached her before,” she continued as if there were no pauses, “I’m looking forward to seeing what she can do.”

Liam nodded, reminding himself to maintain a tall, open posture. He opened his mouth to reply, but faltered. What was he supposed to say to her? Encouraging a closer acquaintance wasn’t a goal of his except on Emily’s behalf.

“Have you worked as a coach for a few years then?” he managed. Cassie smiled. They fell into light conversation. Liam discovered Cassie was an artist and a blogger, and revealed only the most inconsequential details about his own life. Cassie was easy to talk to, and that concerned him. They were reaching the end of his surface topics when Emily ran over, wiping ice cream across her face with the back of her hand.

“Messy,” he said to her, frowning and shaking his head in feigned disapproval. “Tut-tut.”

Emily grinned. “That’s what ice creams are for!”

“Touché,” Liam agreed. Cassie glanced between them.

“See you next week, Em.” She saluted to her, receiving the same, and moved off.

“Can we watch a movie?” Emily asked. Her face was still a little red, accentuated by how pale her features were, even in the Cordonian sun.

“Maybe later.” Liam lifted a hand away from the crowd and toward their car. The girl didn’t move.

“You said we could.”

“Later.”

Emily frowned, tried not to think of how much she looked like her mother when she made that face. Rooted to the spot with folded arms, she lifted her chin and attempted a look of authority. And came very close.

“Later,” he repeated , challenging her pose from twice her height. They were silent, then the smiles grew, and Liam laughed first. Emily cracked up a moment later, then bounced ahead to the car.

“I pick the movie!” she called over her shoulder, as if there was even the slightest chance he wouldn’t allow that. Liam shook his head, still grinning, and followed.

—

Later that night, when Emily was sleeping, Liam reclined in the living room of his apartments and reflected on the day. He heaved a sigh and leaned back in his armchair, exhausted and alone after a whole day with his daughter. Sometimes he fell asleep here, but those nights were always restless.

A knock on the door roused him from a light doze.

Liam blinked several times and looked around, wondering why his bedroom looked so strange before realising he wasn’t in it. Perhaps he imagined the knock, but in confirmation of it’s being real, the person knocked again.

He greeted his friend with a wide yawn and stepped back to let him in.

“You thought sleeping in here was a better use of your time than catching up with a friend?” Drake said as he reached his favourite chair and collapsed in it. Liam closed the door, leant against it, and watched him, amusement playing on his own face.

“I only just got…” He looked at his watch. 10pm. Emily had gone to bed at 8.30, and there had been plenty of time to spend with a friend. “Oh.”

“Oh?”

“Long day.” Liam returned to his own chair.

“Of course.” Drake pulled a flask from inside his jacket and twisted off the cap. “You realise I’m friends with Bastien.”

Liam frowned. “I am aware of this.” He was also aware that his bodyguard saw everything and everyone, and that Drake leveraged that to keep tabs on him. Maybe he should find more time for his friends. Or ask his bodyguard for more discretion. Again.

“So I figured you’d be spending some time with that red-haired woman from the courts. She looked nice, apparently.” Drake almost smiled – a rare expression. Liam knew he meant well, but his intentions were sometimes skewed by his own reactions to what happened six years ago. Guilt, shame, regret. He felt it, too.

“You figured wrong,” Liam stated, a little harsher than intended. Drake sighed.

“I know.”

Quiet settled and stretched. Unlike earlier, there wasn’t the excited chatter of a dozen nine-year-old girls to fill it. One of the benefits of his relationship with Drake was they could do this –spend hours together and barely exchange a word. The dynamic suited Drake’s introversion, and Liam’s tiredness.

“Li…” Drake said after an indeterminate time, “you know we’re here for you, right?”

Liam looked up. “Thanks, but you also know that I’m well, really. It was just a long day.” With minimal intrusive thoughts. “Em won her game.”

“That’s great!” Drake replied immediately. Another response to his role with Emily’s mother was consistent enthusiasm with her daughter’s achievements.

Much to his delight, Drake sat attentively while Liam recounted the game. The conversation turned to more peer related topics after that as Drake talked about the others. By the time he left it was past midnight and Liam felt like himself again. He promised to try make time for his friends – Drake waved off the comment – and went to bed feeling fulfilled.

What happened when he closed his eyes was rarely so comforting.

------

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[emmalalairalie]

I think more people need to know its okay to enjoy problematic media, as long as you KNOW and ACKNOWLEDGE that it's problematic. A lot of people's response to someone trying to call out their favourite author or artist is to blindly defend them because in their head, they can only enjoy the media that person has created if that person is completely ethical and has never done anything wrong. And sure, you shouldn't actively support someone who causes harm to others or anything, but you're still allowed to like their art. Separating the art from the artist is a continually debated issue but my stance on it is if you see the flaws and recognise where it comes from, and you don't like the artist, then that has to be enough. It saves you from looking like an idiot scrambling to defend a problematic author so you feel like you're not supporting a bad person. There is a way to enjoy problematic media without you yourself being problematic.

[takenbyheartstrings]

Pretty White Dress [ a.d ]

Summary: You and DeLuca have been dating for four years, when he decides to surprise you on your fourth anniversary, things just go the way he wants them to, because not every story has a happy ending, but this story does.

Pairing: Andrew DeLuca x dr!Reader

Authors Note: i almost died writing this, that’s it.

Warnings: SO MUCH FLUFF

As cheif of trauma, you had a lot of dignity. You were in a very high position in the hospital, being Amelia’s younger sister by a year, was anything but easy, as the youngest Shepherd and living with your three sisters who were also the chiefs of the hospital, basically, the hospital was run by your family. Being there since your intern days with Jo.

You woke up that morning, Andrews’ arm around your waist, he held you close. You smiled as he was awake holding you because he knew it was the best thing for you, he knew it was what you liked. You had been dating for what felt like ten yeas, but was only three going on four today.

You turned to meet Andrews eyes, “Morning.”

He pressed his lips to yours, “Morning, bubba, happy four year anniversary.” he muttered.

You smiled pressing another kiss to his lips, “Happy four year.”

You stood out of Andrews embrace putting your clothes on, as you felt him watch you, you turned around glaring at him playfully, “Creep.” You smiled lightly as you fell back on the bed in a sweater and pair jeans, as Andrew pulled you back into his embrace.

“C’mon, you’re gonna be late for rounds, and Meredith is carpooling us, and you know how mad she gets when someone’s late - I don’t want your gorgeous head chopped off.” You smiled pressing a kiss to his lips as you got up once more and threw him his slacks, boxers, and a white button-down shirt.

He smiled, putting on his clothes as you ran out the door and downstairs where you could hear Meredith beeping her horn outside of your house. Meredith, Amelia, and Maggie walked in.

Meredith looked at you sternly, “There you are! We thought you were dead,”

Rolling your eyes at Meredith, “Andrew hurry up!” You called from the bottom of the stairs as he ran down, his shirt unbuttoned as he started to button it.

“Good morning.” He smiled as all your sisters looked stood still staring as did you.

“Yes, it’s a very good morning.” Amelia smiled.

You looked at your older sister, “Amelia!” You slapped her arm as she jumped

“Ow!” Amelia pouted, “I deserved it,” She muttered quietly

As all of you piled into the car, you sat next to Andrew as Meredith pulled out the two new seats from the trunk of her car as a space for Alex and Jo.

As you stopped in front of their house, Meredith beeped her horn at them, “I’m gonna be so late for rounds,”

“No you’re not,” Maggie sighed, “You’re on my service today,”

“Aren’t you glad my sisters like you.” You smiled.

Meredith looked at you, “Who said we liked him?” She laughed as Andrew’s eyes went wide, “I’m kidding - I have to like him, you’ve been dating for four years.”

“Good,” You smile at Andrew, as we pull up into Meredith’s parking spot, “So, I’ll see you after work.” You placed a kiss on Andrew’s lips, you started to walk off, “Love you, Bub!”

“Love you too!” He called.

You sighed as Amelia walked into the cafeteria, sitting down next to you, with Jo beside you already, “How are my two favorite girls doing?” She smiled.

You and Jo exchanged a look, as Jo raised her eyebrows, ‘She’s your sister’, you read her lips. You gave her a stern look and looked back over to Amelia.

“What do you want?” You questioned your older sister - she was only like this when she wanted something.

“What do you mean, what do I want?” She asked you.

You looked at her with a blank expression, “You know exactly what I mean.”

“I just need one of you to, help me cook tonight, I’m watching over Zola and Bailey and Ellis while, Meredith is going out, specifically, you, Y/n, you are a very good cook.”

Jo scoffed, “Excuse me.”

“Jo, honey,” You smiled as she laughed, “You almost burnt your kitchen down that one time.”

“Oh, I know,” She sighed, “don’t rub it in,”

✦

Later that night, you were at Meredith’s house, knocking frantically on the door, Amelia opened it, wearing what seemed like a nice dress, you looked at her confused.

“I thought you were asking me to help you cook for kids, not host a dinner party.” You almost yelled at her.

“Look,” Amelia told you, “Just go in the bathroom - there’s a dress in there and come outside, it’s not a dinner party, it’s a dinner for you. Now go.”

You walked into the bathroom, a white dress hanging from the mirror - it was your favourite, but the only person who knew that was Andrew DeLuca, because it was the one you wore every single fancy dinner the two of you had ever gone two, which was about three, one for your six month, one for your one year, one for your two year, one for your three year, and you only wore this dress for those dinners, you were guessing this was number four, and this was your pretty white dress.

You slide on the pretty white dress, as you looked on the floor at a white pair of heels, you smiled sliding them on, following Amelia’s instructions as Meredith stopped you at the door, Zola, Bailey and Ellis in her clutches.

“You look amazing, Y/n, now, as soon as you step outside that door, I am your person - if you wanna get out of there, just page me and I’ll drive the getaway car, otherwise, if you stay, if you cry, I’ll be there for you, two shoulders. Now the kids and I have to go, but have a very good time.” She spoke.

You looked at her confused, “Thanks?” You smiled as you walked outside, the trees laced with fairy lights and the

Andrew sitting at a table, you shook your head, a goofy grin placed on your face.

“Dr. Y/n Shepherd.” Andrew smiled standing up pressing a kiss to your lips.

Andrew pulled out your chair, as you sat across from him, “I know it’s our anniversary, but, you didn’t need to do all this.”

“Yes, I did.” Andrew told you, “I did it, because I love you and you only deserve the best.”

You gave a goofy grin, “Y’know,” You said as you had a steak made by Andrew right in front of you, taking a piece and having a bite, “When I thought I found the love of my life, I hadn’t met you yet, he hurt me. A lot. But you already knew that, because you helped me. You saved me.”

“I know.” He flattered himself, “I am a superhero, I am, the savior.”

You laughed, “Don’t flatter yourself too much.”

He gave a hum, “No, I want to flatter you too much.”

and so Andrew got out of his seat, and held out his hand as Andrew interrupted your dinner for the two of you to stand up, as Andrew held your hand, he bent down on one knee, you know exactly what was going on, so you just sat there and smiled.

“Y/n Shepherd, from the first day I met you, when you called me your person, when you told me I saved you, when you told me that you left that jerk, when you told me you loved me for the first time, I knew you were everything I wanted. I knew you were the one.” He gave her larger grin than the one that was already on his face, “So what do you say, y/n... will you marry me?”

“YES!” You yelled tackling him to the ground planting kisses all over his face, his beard tickling you as you did so.

✦

You looked in the mirror, you looked back at Meredith as Jo finished your hair, “Don’t look at me like that,” Meredith scolded.

“I’m not looking at you like anything,” You said with a blank face.

Meredith sighed loudly, “Look, Amelia ran, came back, Cristina got left at the alter, you aren’t running and coming back too.”

“I’m not gonna run!” You almost yelled.

Jo looked at you, “You’re thinking about it.”

���Okay, but who doesn’t?” You defended yourself.

Jo held your shoulders, “The man at the alter,”

“I didn’t run,” Meredith shrugged.

“You and my brother wrote your vows on a sticky note because you were afraid to be legal, legal!”

“Okay, that’s... fair.” Meredith shrugged, taking your point into evaluation.

Jo stood you up, showing you to the full body mirror, she was wearing a pastel blue dress as Meredith was matching, Maggie and Amelia came into the room, wearing the same thing.

“You look beautiful, Y/n.” Maggie said hugging you.

Amelia looked at you, pulling you into a strong embrace, “Derek would be so proud of you right now.”

You pulled away, “Hey! Don’t make me cry on my wedding day.”

You looked at yourself in the mirror, you’d taken the pretty white dress into a shop, and got someone to custom transform the pretty white dress into the large wedding dress you’d wear today.

You looked at Jo for reassurance, “You do look pretty amazing.”

“Okay, so, then, let’s go. I’m gonna get married!” You smiled.

Next thing you knew, you were at the end, you were standing at the alter, Andrew, standing in front of you, in a black and white tuxedo, about to spill his vows. It was his turn first.

“Okay, so, I’ve said this a thousand times, but I still can’t believe you were dating that jerk when we first met.” that earned a laugh from everyone, “And about a week later, you dumped him, and hid your feelings for me, for well, three months, and it killed me, every second of the way. I just wanted to call you mine, to be yours. We’ve been through hell together, and traveled the heavens, and I will go through thousands of hell lit fires, for you. Because I love you.”

It was your turn now. Not like it could compare.

“They say that God creates you with two heads, four eyes, four arms, four legs, and four feet, and then he splits you into two, he takes your conjoined person and splits your soul into two. It’s like your other half, it’s like having a soulmate - and you think you find the other half of you, and then you don’t. But then you realize you were wrong, and your real other half comes along.”  At this point, the tears streamed down your face, “I believe so much that you’re the other half of me, the half I was never able to find, the half that keeps me sane, the half that keeps me together, that keeps me stable. As we walk through the hellfires, and we walk through the suns of the heavens, I will be holding your hand, the whole way through, because I love you.”

The rings came to you presented by Bailey and Ellis, being dragged in a wheelbarrow by Zola, your rings were slid on the ring fingers.

“Do you take Y/n Shepherd to be your wife? Do you promise to love and cherish her, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better and for worse, for so long as you both shall live?”

“I do.” Andrew smiled.

“Do you take Andrew DeLuca to be your husband? Do you promise to love and cherish him, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better and for worse, for so long as you both shall live?”

“I do.” You returned the large grin.

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Andrew planted his lips on yours in a fast motion, it was almost like the day he proposed when you tackled him to the ground. As he pulled away from you, the both of you walking back down the aisle, he looked at you.

“Hello, Mrs. Dr. Y/n DeLuca,” He smiled.

“Hello, Mr. Dr. Andrew DeLuca,” You smiled, your hands laced together.

It was one happy ending, something you never really saw at Grey Sloan Memorial. But you and DeLuca were something else.

[atiny-ahgase]

The Magic Of Love

Author’s note: Hey everyone it’s Gabby again. I’ve had this idea for a while now, but I just didn’t have time to write it, I hope that you all like it. I’m not really familiar with Witchcraft and honestly, I’m not familiar with anything even remotely mystical but I just got this idea and thought that it was cool. So, this is it, hope you like it.

Summary: Y/n is trying their best to balance being a witch and university student at the same time. While they were out shopping for materials they bump into a rather handsome stranger. Small talk revealed that they actually had some classes together like Medieval History and Literature. They soon became hyper-aware of his presence and began wishing for his company. Not trusting your own charms to impress him you decide to conjure up your charms ‘if you get my drift’. What happens when you turn to magic to solve your problems?

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Pairing: Hongjoong x Gender Neutral Reader

Word Count: 4.8k

Genre: Fluff, School au

Contains: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Magic but not really, Gender Neutral Reader,

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Releasing a loud sigh as you feel your perspiration dripping from your brow. “Why did I have to go shopping on literally the hottest day of the year?” you thought as you took a left down the alley slightly tripping over a piece of trash. “There is a trash can like 1 centimetre away, what the hell?” you state while looking at the trashcan in question. With your attention focused on the sheer laziness and disregard that individuals had for their surroundings and the environment as a whole you didn’t notice that you were walking while not exactly looking where you were going. The fact only becoming aware to you when you bumped into someone, causing you to drop along with all of your brown paper grocery bags onto the cold street floor.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry,” you begin while looking up at the stranger whom you collided with. Looking up at him the first thing you realized was his bright blue hair. The cold hue contrasting with the warmth of this eyes. His hair reminded you of the crystal clear skies, vast and beautiful, deep and mesmerizing. His eyes like the brown tree trunks that bordered your childhood home; a brilliant brown filled with life and warmth. “No it’s my fault,” you heard the stranger say, the cheerful tone in his voice catching you off-guard. “Are you okay?” he inquired while bending down to help you up from the spot where you had fallen.

“I’m fine, thanks,” you begin, “I’m a lot tougher than I look”, you beamed at him. You had never seen anyone as handsome as he was; surely you would have remembered. Looking up at him you smile brightly as you hear him release a soft chuckle at your comment, his dazzling smile shining like the midday sun, beautiful and blinding. You grasped his hand in yours, face heating up as you feel the warmth of his hand. Rising up from the floor you quickly dust off your jeans and palms before thanking the kind stranger.

“Thank you, and it really wasn’t your fault,” you confessed, “I just zoned out for a minute.” “Well as long as you’re okay then I guess it doesn’t really matter who’s at fault it is,” he replied before shrugging slightly. Stooping down you begin to retrieve all of your fallen items, placing them back into their bags. As you stayed on the floor you heard the steps of the blue-haired boy begin to fade, guess he’s leaving now.

After collecting all of your things you stand up, holding the paper bags in your hands once more. “I think you forget something,” you hear a voice just a few steps ahead of you. “This one must have gotten away from you,” he joked before handing you a silver can. The sun shone off of its ridges, reflecting the light onto the dark, dismal alleyway walls. “Thank you...again,” you say shyly before taking the can and placing it in your bag. “I’m Hongjoong by the way,” he says while extending his hand to you before pulling it back towards him, a look of embarrassment clearly on his face. “Sorry, your hands are full, you couldn’t shake my hand anyway-,” he began blabbering more to himself than to you. “I’m Y/n,” you interrupted. 

He flashes you another smile as you begin to walk forward, you had finally finished shopping for all of the ingredients that you needed. Not wanting to endure the heat of the day anymore you were heading home to study your potion brewing. You had a big exam coming up and you need to pass if you wanted to be promoted to a higher rank, but at the rate, you were going that seemed almost impossible.

 ----

You had been practising witchcraft for about 5 years now; learning about it from your deceased grandmother. Things were incredibly difficult for you at the beginning as you tried to catch up with your peers. Everyone seemed to be better than you, granted you did start later than everyone else but the school board clearly didn’t care. Because of this, you struggled to make friends and eventually just gave up on the idea as a whole realizing that it wasn’t worth it. 

Usual school wasn’t as difficult to make friends but the relationships never seemed to last long, every time you even tried to get close to someone the relationship acted like a castle of sand, crumbling the moment you try to grasp it. So you cut yourself off from that part of life completely, finding the work unnecessary and the pain too detrimental. Choosing to solely focus on your studies in both usual school and magic school, convincing yourself that relationships were unnecessary especially love. Falling in love was like basically signing your own death wish, like falling off a cliff to your rocky demise.

You were now entering university as well as still furthering your studies in the art of witchcraft. You knew that it was going to be difficult but you weren’t willing to part from either aspects of your life just yet. You had a huge exam coming up and needed to study your potions and spell casting, hence the reason for your unusual shopping trip. You were never really the best at potion making always seeming to choose the wrong ingredients or quantities almost always resulting in an explosion.

Hopefully, you’d have better luck in university; you were just starting a new year at a whole new school filled with a bunch of new people. You are really excited to start especially since all of your past peers opted for going to a school outside of your district. So you didn’t have to worry about your old bullies rearing their ugly heads at you.

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While walking you noticed that Hongjoong was going in the same direction as you, which wasn’t too odd considering that it was a pretty small town; there weren’t many places to really go. But that was one thing that you really loved about it, you found comfort in its familiarity. “So are you a local here?” you hear Hongjoong ask from beside you, probably tired of the deafening silence which had formed. “Well kinda”, you began “, I moved here when I was really young and I’ve been here ever since.” 

You both seemed to click almost instantly and you welcomed his company, it had been such a long time since you’ve actually had a real conversation with someone. For being a complete stranger he knew more about you in the few minutes that you both walked together than anyone else in your life. It was amazing how he just broke down walls that you hadn’t even realized you had formed, turning them to rubble before your very eyes. You could honestly talk to him for hours and never get bored, he made every topic sound so riveting, you found yourself hanging off of every word that escaped his lips.

To your dismay, you spotted the bright red roses of your apartment garden much sooner than you had wanted. You couldn’t hide the small frown that had spread across your face once you were hit with the realization that you’d both me parting ways soon. “This is my stop,” you state while gesturing to your apartment building. “Well, I guess that I’ll see you around the Y/n,” he chimes in, sending you another one of his stunning smiles which you immediately return.

You both say your goodbyes before you walk up to your brick staircase and enter your apartment. Upon closing your front door you lent against the cold wood, back pressed up against it you released a soft sigh. He was nice, really nice, it had been so long since you had last enjoyed having a conversation with someone. Most of your conversations lately consisted of bickering with the other witches in your class or defending yourself against the bullies in your school. You had forgotten just how much you had missed pleasant conversations like that, the last time you had smiled so brightly was when you had told your grandmother that you had gotten into magic school. She was so happy, her face lit up like the brightest star on a Christmas tree. That was one of the best memories that you had shared with her; she was always a lively spirit, her young soul would often rub off on you, convincing you to look at the world in a more exciting light. You missed her, you truly did but you’d never forgotten everything that she had taught you, all of the time that you had spent together.

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The blaring sound of your morning alarm cut through the silence of the early morning like a knife through butter, shattering your pleasant dreams. Sighing loudly you rollover smashing your hand against the screen in a few futile attempts to turn off your alarm. You groan as you rise from your bed rubbing your eyes in an attempt to remove all remaining sleepiness. Today was the first day of school and even though you weren't really planning on trying to impress anyone you still wanted to look good for yourself. Rolling off of bed you readied yourself for the day deciding on is a simple button-up shirt with your favourite pair of blue jeans and converse sneakers. Your jeans were slightly rolled at the ankle allowing your mismatched socks to be seen, they were honestly your favourite parts of the outfit. Flinging your leather bag over your shoulder you grabbed your phone and keys before exiting the door. The journey to university wasn't that long since your house is fairly close to the campus.

Once you had arrived on compass you unzipped your bag in search of your schedule for the day. The edges of the paper blew violently due to the strong winds you were experiencing. Clutching the paper tightly in an attempt to keep it from flying away, you quickly skimmed through the page in search of your first classroom. Reading over your schedule you notice that your 1st class of the day was , Medieval History, the second floor of the history building room 208. Carefully placing the paper back into your bag you zipped it up before briskly walking to your class. Passing numerous students and faculty members you finally made your way to the large brown building. “How long was this building established?” you wondered before pushing open the doors to enter the Hall.  

Walking to the elevator you pressed the button and waited for it to reach your floor. Standing there you rocked on the soles of your feet mind aimlessly wandering before you heard an all too familiar voice. Looking away from the closed elevator door you notice a fluffy head of bright blue hair. “Are you stalking me, mister Joong?” I enquire, a slight playfulness in my voice. He chuckles from beside you before replying “So you’re really walking around here thinking that my first name is Hong and my family name is Joong?” he queries while cocking his eyebrow at you. 

Smiling brightly you turn to him, “I actually have no idea what your last name is but I had already committed to the sentence so there was no turning back”, you reply. “So you go to school here?” he continues while entering the elevator. “Nah, I just like to take pictures in front of the art wall,” you joke while standing beside him. You reach forward to press the elevator button but your hand stops midway when you realize that your floor has already been pressed. “You heading to room 208?” you question, noticing the textbook in his hand, it's the same textbook that you have in your bag. It was seated comfortably between your journal and binder. “Who is stalking who now?” he jokes, smiling brightly while leaning against the shimmering silver of the elevator walls.

Heading into class, you both sat next to each other at the front row closest to the door. Not long after your arrival, your lecturer began well...lecturing. Retrieving your book from your bag you began diligently taking notes, your attention hanging off of every word that he spoke. Glancing over at Hongjoong you see him slightly hunched over his deck, eyebrows slightly furrowed in concentration as he writes in his book. The class was fairly short as it was the first day and before you knew it you were packing up, getting ready to head to your other class. You and Hongjoong walked side by side discussing the lecture as well as all of your other classes. “I have History now what about you?” he inquired as you both reach the ground floor of the building. “I have a free period now but I have to go to the main admin building to sort out some stuff,” you responded. “Ugh I envy those guys at admin, they get to spend more time with you,” he spoke while nudging you gently. You couldn't help the blush that crept up on your face, heating up your body. “I’ll see you next class right,” you continued before exchanging numbers with each other.

----

“Okay, so I add this powder to the base and the liquid should turn from clear to purple right?” you ask yourself while standing over your pot. This was the 5th time you were trying this out with no success. This was not the time to be messing up, your potions exam is in 1 week. At this rate, you'll never be promoted to a higher rank. Looking down at the pot you sigh defeatedly “, Still clear.” You slumped down onto the pillowy cushions of your mint green couch allowing your body to be wrapped in its soft embrace. “This isn’t amateur hour Y/n, it wasn't supposed to happen like this,” you spoke softly and you were right. It wasn't supposed to happen like this, you weren't supposed to spend all your time with him, you needed to study and you knew that but then why? Why were you so drawn to him? This had never happened before so why now? Why him?

You've been in university for 2 months now and you'd hardly studied for anything whether it be magic-related or not. But do you know what you have done? Hang out with Hongjoong a lot, you both went to the movies, campus café and library under the pretense of studying but you both just ended up talking about your favourite authors and guess what? You both liked the same writer. You had never meshed with anyone that well before. You felt like you could talk to him for hours about everything and nothing at all. He made you feel, for lack of better words, like you were floating. You could talk with him for hours and it would only seem like a few minutes to you. If you should spend your entire university life next to him you would.

But you knew that you couldn’t because he's way too popular to want you by his side 24/7. This thought became clear to you when you had agreed to meet up with Hongjoong at your University Café. Walking into the quaint little shop you were greeted by the smell of freshly baked banana bread; your favourite. Scanning the shop you quickly spotted Hongjoong sitting in the corner with 7 other guys, seemingly causing chaos in the once quiet shop. You smiled brightly as you waved at him, gulping down that feeling of social awkwardness you always get around large groups you sat next to him. He had saved a seat for you.

After ordering your coffee the guys all started to have what appeared to be a very lively conversation but you couldn't focus on anything they were saying. It was something about a party that was happening later in the week that was surely gonna have a bunch of really attractive people attending. That was kinda when you zoned out, Hongjoong was out of your league and you knew it. He was smart, sweet, talented, handsome, caring and so much more. Meanwhile, you were struggling to keep up with your workload, your hair was a mess and you have to mentally prepare yourself before even raising your hand in class to ask a question. He seemed to be so put together while you were just falling apart more and more each day.

But still, you wanted to be beside him even if it was only for a little bit longer, you weren't ready to let go of him yet. Releasing a loud sigh over how absolutely stupid you were being you plopped yourself down; rather clumsily I might add, unto your couch causing the book which was hanging on for dear life to fall onto the cold wooden floor. Bending down you realize that it was one of the magic books that you had borrowed from the library. Picking it up you see a piece of paper slip out from between the pages. Grasping it in your hands you carefully unfold it and read the words. “Love Potion”, you read “, Upon consumption, the subject will confess to the first person they see.” You rub your eyes briskly to ensure that what you were seeing was right. A potion that makes you fall in love with the first person you saw? Surely that was too good to be true. If you were to use it on- no you can't even think about using it on Hongjoong. What were you even thinking? Practicing unsanctioned magic was against the rules. But...why was that the only thing stopping you from making this potion? You are pulled from your thoughts by the ringing sound of your cell phone.

“Hello?” you answer, too preoccupied to look at the caller ID. Listening through the phone all you hear is hushed mumbling. Looking at your screen you realized that it was Hongjoong, but why would he be calling at this hour? He was supposed to be at a party with the others. He must have called you by mistake, you deduce. Readying yourself to end the call you stopped when you heard an unfamiliar voice come through the phone. “I like you,” it said. In that instance, you felt as though your entire world was crashing down before you. He was being confessed to? Why did this even shock you? Someone like Hongjoong would surely find someone to date in a matter of time, he's just that wonderful. Of course, people would fall for him, you definitely did. “Sorry,” you hear him say in that oh so sweet voice that you loved so very much “, I have my plate full with school so I don't really think that I should be getting into a relationship”.

That was all that you needed to hear. Sure you felt sorry for the person that had confessed, at least they had the balls to do it, unlike a certain someone. That was when you had finally made your choice, you were making that potion. You didn't care if you got caught by your magic teachers, Hongjoong was worth the risk. Reading over the list of ingredients you ransacked your apartment in search of everything that you needed. Thankfully you had everything since you had gone shopping for more supplies only days before. Looking over your instructions again you noticed a small disclaimer at the bottom of the page. “Disclaimer: Potion will be ineffective if the subject is already in love; there is no force stronger than true love”. Were you really going to do this? Yeah, you were.

----------------

Everything was finally in place. You had made the potion and mixed it in with cupcake batter in order to mask the taste. You had invited Hongjoong over for a study session which he immediately accepted because even he knew that you needed all the help you could get. Placing your hand over your heart you attempted to calm your breathing before he arrived. Too late. The ringing of your doorbell caused you to jump from your seat. Trying to keep your cool you opened the door and smiled at him. He wore his blue hair slightly wavy which gave it this adorable fluffy look, he looked so cute. He had a bright yellow barrett and matching yellow turtle neck which he wore under his opened coat. Upon seeing you he returned your smile before stepping into your apartment.

“Something smells good”, he states while resting his coat on your coach. “Yeah I baked cupcakes,” you chimed in while trying to sound excited. “Shouldn’t you be studying instead of baking,” he inquired while quirking a playful eyebrow at you. You chuckled at his playfulness before heading to the kitchen to grab 2 muffins. “I just wanted to thank you for coming over to help me. You didn’t have to so I really appreciate it,” you said before handing him the muffin. “What if I want that one?” he asked while pointing to the muffin in your other hand and pouting. “I picked this one out for you because it has the most blueberries and they remind me of your hair,” you whined at him. You could of sworn that you had seen him blush. “Thank you,” he mumbles before taking the muffin from your hand and taking a bite. In those moments you thought that your heart was going to explode. This was what you had been waiting for and it frightened you so much more than you had expected.

“Y/n I love”, he began while wiping the muffin crumbs off of his mouth “, these muffins”. You felt your heart sink and you knew that Hongjoong could tell. If the potion didn't work there was only one reason why; he had liked someone else. You tried your best to play it off but there was honestly no hiding your disappointment. You ate your muffin before you both sat on the couch to go over your notes and begin studying for your upcoming exam but Hongjoong knew that you weren't feeling it. “Let’s take a break okay Y/n,” he said before standing up to stretch his legs. You, however, stayed completely still on the couch, your mind somewhere else completely. 

“When exams are over Mingi is gonna hold a party, well it's more like a little get together. Do you wanna come?” Hongjoong asked from beside your window sill. The silver moonlight illuminating his face so flawlessly. Your mind wandered back to the party that Hongjoong had gone to previously, the bad memories of his confession eating you up inside. “How was the last party?” you asked, catching Hongjoong off guard. “Same old same old I guess. Would have been more fun if you were there,” he smiled at you, an uncertain look in his bright brown eyes. “So nothing interesting happened?” you pushed, you had no idea why you were pestering him. You were just so mad and disappointed in yourself that you had to let it out. Granted absolutely nothing was Hongjoong’s fault you still needed to get out your frustrations and he was the only one here so...

He paused for a moment, attempting to recall the events from that night. “San and Wooyoung threw Sangie into the pool. It was pretty funny,” he smiled at you. That had always been your weakness. He had always been your weakness. Even in your shocked and disappointed state he still managed to make you smile. You were so jealous of the person who had his heart, you hoped that they would cherish it the same way that you did. The rest of the night carried on with no hiccups, Hongjoong thought you, you kinda listened and kinda stole glances at him every chance you could get. Just because he was in love with someone else didn’t mean that you weren’t still in love with him. After about 5 hours of you being almost completely lost, Hongjoong decided that it was time to call it quits for the night. Although you were happy that you could finally be alone with your thoughts you also dreaded this moment because you had to now be alone with your thoughts. There was no Hongjoong to distract you from well...Hongjoong. You both said you goodbyes before he pulled you into a hug, one hand resting on your back as the other one stayed on the back of your head, rubbing it gently. You rested your head on his shoulder and breathed in his scent. You hand never hugged him before, he smelt of cologne and vanilla. You were determined to engrave that scent into your memory because you probably weren’t going to be getting any more hugs from him after what you were about to do.

So what if the potion didn’t work? So what if he loved someone else? Honestly, who cares? The only thing you cared about was him and you needed him to know that. You couldn’t just sit around and mope about it, you needed to let it out, otherwise, how would you heal? You gripped the back of his shirt when you felt him begin to pull away. “Just a moment more,” you thought. You felt him stiffen in your arms but he simply wrapped his arms around you once more and pulled you even closer to him. That was all it took for your heart to burst. All of the emotions that you had harboured for those 2 months, 1 week and 2 days were finally breaking through to the surface and you could do little to stop it. You felt a single run down your face, its warmth paling in comparison to the warmth of Hongjoong’s embrace. You opened your mouth to speak, thinking that it would be easier for you to confess if you didn’t have to see the disappointment in his face. But he beat you to it.

“If you keep doing things like this I’m going to get the wrong idea,” he whispered, arms engulfing your body in his own. “If you keep breaking down my walls I’ll be left defenseless,” he continued as he nuzzled his face into your neck, his warm breath tickling you slightly. Were you hearing correctly? Was he actually saying this to you? You gripped his shirt even tighter, nails slightly grazing the skin on his back, but he didn’t seem to mind. “I-If you’re defenseless,” you began while swallowing the lump in your throat, your voice shivering in anxiety “, then I’ll protect you. That’s the deal; my heart for yours.” You thought that it was impossible for Hongjoong to hold you tighter than he already was but Hongjoong always seems to find a way. “No take-backs okay? Once I give you my heart it’s yours forever,” he spoke pulling away from you, his eyes searching yours for any ounce of uncertainty. Finding none he gently cupped your cheek, his thumb aimlessly drawing circles on your skin as he smiled at you, but the smile never reached to his eyes as his hand slowly shifted down your cheek to allow his thumb to caress your lips. They quivered at the contact as your body froze under his intense gaze. You had never seen him look that way before, and the fact that he was looking at you made this moment even more unbearable.

“Joong,” you squeaked out, eyes silently pleading for him to do something, anything. Once you had broken the silence that was the last straw, it was as though your voice was the last raindrop that broke through a dam of emotion. His hand stayed on your cheek as the other wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer. In direct contrast with the hasty movements of his hands his plush lips glided across yours with such gentleness, it felt as though you were kissing a feather, light and airy. You both eventually pulled away from the kiss, in desperate need of air but that didn’t stop Hongjoong from placing small, breathless kisses along your neck and literally, anywhere he could attach his lips to. You chuckled slightly as his hair tickled your sensitive skin. Placing your hand on the nape of his neck, you caressed his head, fingers tangling in the blue ocean of his head. “I love you so much Y/n,” you hear him mumble from against your neck. You couldn’t stop the blush that had crept up your face at his words. You had dreamt about him saying those words to you for so long and now that he had finally said it you feel as though your heart was going to explode. But you couldn’t let that happen, your heart was his now. “I love you to Joongie,” you softly whisper as you wrap your arms around him.

[joggerfive]

Fic: Innocent Bystander

When Sam goes to fetch Runner Five for a last-minute fuel run, he finds her in a compromising position. Set in S1/S2. (Also available to read on AO3)

(CW: sexual references)

-----

Sam and Maxine were in the comms shack, sitting in companionable silence at opposite ends of the desk as each of them attended to their own paperwork. Misery loves company, after all. Maxine finished writing on a page and moved it to the side, then focused her eyes on the small yellow note that was previously hidden underneath.

“Sam?”

He didn’t look up from his paperwork and instead only answered with a non-committal mumble.

“Did you see this?” She continued, as she placed the note in front of Sam’s eyeline.

He tore his tired eyes away from the sheets of paper in front of him and looked at the small note. It read:

‘Need an extra fuel run immediately. Tell the runner(s) to head west – Mr. Harrison reported a garage there with multiple tanks.'

From the neat handwriting, he knew the author of the note was Janine. And from the use of capital letters and underlining, he knew he was screwed. Sam swore as he shot up from his chair, suddenly full of energy.

“When was this put here?!” He asked Maxine, panic evident in his voice.

“I don’t know!” She exclaimed, immediately feeling the effects of Sam’s anxiety affecting her.

Sam mumbled to himself as he searched through his pile of papers, before finally finding the one he needed.

“Okay,” he said quietly, more to himself than to his companion. He sat back into his chair and ran his fingers down the rota with all the residents’ allocated jobs throughout each day, searching for a runner who was currently available.

“Five hasn’t been for a run yet today, and she should be free right now.” He concluded, letting out a large exhale, “That’s fine. That’s good. She can go get fuel.”

“On her own?” Maxine enquired, looking sceptical.

“She’s strong!” Sam defended, “I saw her pick up Jack once. And she was tipsy at the time. She can handle carrying some fuel, right?”

She shrugged in response, which was good enough for Sam.

“Okay,” He rose from his chair quickly, knocking over his (thankfully empty) mug as he did so, “I’m going to go find Five. I’ll be right back.”

Maxine didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye as Sam scurried out of the comms shack, the door slamming behind him.

-----

The Sam that returned to the shack seemed like a completely different person from the one who left. He now walked slowly, with a permanent crease fixed between his furrowed eyebrows. He walked past Maxine without even acknowledging her as he thumped down into his chair, looking into the distance.

“Did going over to the runner’s dorms really get you that out of breath?”

“Hmm?” Sam replied, finally looking over at the doctor. She had a slight smirk on her lips as she took in Sam’s appearance from top to bottom. His cheeks were so pink that they were almost glowing, and he seemed to have a sheen of sweat on his forehead.

The room was silent for a few seconds as Sam’s brain tried to catch up with what his friend had said, finally letting out a small ‘ha, yeah…’ as a response, then looked back down at his papers.

“So...” Maxine said slowly.

“So, what?” Sam replied defensively, still staring at the exact same spot on the paper.

“Five?”

He looked up again in confusion, then realised what she was alluding to.

“Oh! Yeah! She was… um… in the shower.” He babbled.

Maxine placed the pen she was using down on the table, “Her shower slot is in the evening. I know because I see her there when I go for my showers too.”

“Yeah, um, I meant she’s- she was… sleeping.”

Turning in her chair, Maxine levelled Sam with narrowed eyes and folded her arms, trying to see through his lies. This silence lasted for about five seconds before Sam broke it.

“Look, she’s just… she’s busy, okay? I’ll just… I’ll look for another runner. It’s fine. It’s nothing.” His arms gestured wildly as he spoke, his eyes darting around the room.

“Why are you so flustered?” An amused lilt became present in the doctor’s voice.

“I’m not!” She raised her eyebrows at him, keeping her arms folded as she waited him out again. This time, it took only three seconds for him to crack. “It’s… I’m… It’s private!”

Maxine’s glare immediately softened at the idea of gossip, “Was she getting changed?”

“No!” Sam exclaimed loudly, surprising both of them, “No.” He repeated, at a more acceptable volume, “I didn’t see anything.”

“But there was something to see?” She goaded.

“No, nope, nothing, nuh-uh.”

“So there was.”

“No! I… It’s…” Sam spluttered, before taking a small breath, “Don’t you have work to do?” He accused.

“Oh, this is way more interesting.” Maxine said gleefully, revelling in her friend’s discomfort. He scoffed as she continued with her interrogation, “So… she wasn’t getting changed… Was she having sex with someone?”

“No! She wasn’t… with anyone…”

When Sam winced at his choice of words, Maxine thought through his response. Suddenly, it clicked.

“Wait! Was she masturba-”

“Shhh!” Sam exclaimed loudly, the blush on his cheeks intensifying as Maxine laughed.

“It’s only us in here!” She chuckled, amused by his embarrassment.

“Just don’t talk about it!” He begged, covering his flushed face with his hands.

She ignored his request completely, “Didn’t you knock?”

Sam moved his hands away, looking almost insulted, “Yeah, of course I did! She must’ve not heard me though…” He trailed off.

“Or maybe she did, and she wanted you to see?”

Sam recoiled backwards as if he’d been slapped, “What?”

“Oh, come on,” Maxine said sarcastically, “You guys are always flirting with each other-”

He groaned loudly, he did not have the energy for this lecture again. He suspected that it was slowly becoming Maxine’s favourite topic to tease him about. She continued on as Sam dropped his head onto the desk, the collection of papers only softening the thud slightly.

“We are not talking about this.” He mumbled, his voice slightly quieter due to the fact that his face was pressed against the table.

Maxine continued on, seemingly powered by her partner’s misery, “You were gone for about ten minutes, it doesn’t take that long to walk to the housing. How long were you standing at her door for?”

Sam’s head lifted immediately off the table, his eyes wide as his brain absorbed the last thing she had said. Maxine raised her eyebrows at his reaction, waiting for a response which finally came.

“We are definitely not talking about this.”

Maxine let out what could only be described as a cackle as Sam grunted in frustration and threw a highlighter at her head, which she expertly dodged. She then grabbed a nearby pencil and threw it back at him, hitting him square in the (still blushing) cheek. Before their shenanigans could become an all-out war, the door to the comms shack swung open with force.

Janine walked in, immediately frowning at the two people in front of her who looked up at her like two children ready to be scolded. As she took in the scene, the corner of her lip raised slightly for a millisecond, before straightening once again.

“Dr. Myers, Ms. Marsh needs your assistance in the hospital. Nothing major, but she says she felt a muscle twinge in her back as she was helping plant some seeds in the farm earlier. She would like you to take a look to make sure it’s nothing serious.”

“Of course.” Maxine replied seriously, her playful side immediately taking a back seat as she stood and walked towards the door.

Sam let out a breath he didn’t realise he’d been holding as the two women walked out, thinking that he’d been spared.

Then, Janine halted in the doorway and turned around to face the operator, “Have you sent someone for the fuel run yet, Mr. Yao?”

Damn, didn’t quite get away with it.

“Not yet…” He said under his breath.

“Well? Do so now!” She ordered, “I believe Runner Five should be available during this time of the day.”

Sam thought he’d managed to keep his expression neutral, but as he heard Maxine snicker as she left, he knew he hadn’t.

-----

Sam shuffled outside of the dorm that belonged to Runners Four and Five, brimming with nervous energy. He’d been standing there for a few minutes at the least, judging by the fact that multiple other runners had walked past him in the corridor with quizzical looks. When he saw Runner Fifteen for the third time (once to go to the kitchen for food, once coming back with the food, and now coming back with an empty bowl), he decided it was time to bite the bullet.

He knocked loudly this time, so forcefully that the door seemed to rattle on its hinges.

“Five?” He shouted through the door, “It’s Sam. Can I come in?”

“Yeah!” Came the immediate reply, making Sam nervous. Was she still… indecent? He opened the door, keeping his gaze focused on the ground as he walked in. When he began to speak, it was as if someone had pressed the fast-forward button on a remote to make him talk at double speed.

“I need you. For a supply run. For gas. It’s for Janine. Well, I mean, it’s for the whole township since the gas benefits everyone, but Janine’s the one that asked you to go. I mean, she didn’t ask for you specifically. Not that she wouldn’t want you, you’re probably the best runner we’ve got. Oh, no, shouldn’t have said that. Not supposed to have favourites. Not that you are-”

“Sam?”

His head snapped upwards, finally looking at the runner. Five was still lounging in her bed, covered up by the threadbare blanket as she had been during his first visit. She seemed… relaxed. Satisfied, almost. As soon as his brain started supplying ideas of why that would be, his cheeks began to flush again. Then he remembered that she had said his name.

“Yeah?”

“I’ll go.” She seemed to be holding back a smile, but before he could analyse that any further, he just nodded and broke eye contact.

“Great. That’s great. Very helpful. I’ll be waiting in the comms shack then. You can… get yourself ready.”

And with that, he scurried out of the runners dorms before anyone could realise the state he was in while leaving the room that Five was occupying. There were already rumours about the two of them, and that would only add fuel to the flame.

-----

About a quarter of an hour later, Five strode into the comms shack with confidence, snatching a headset from the makeshift charging dock. Sam watched her like a hawk, looking for signs that she knew that he… knew.

“I feel so much better after taking a nap,” Five started as she turned the headset on, then placed it over her ears, “it makes me feel so refreshed and energised.”

Sam stayed completely still, moving his gaze to the screen in front of him and staring intently at the monitors, even though they were displaying no activity whatsoever. He wondered whether what she’d said had meant to sound like a euphemism, but kept his mouth shut just to be safe.

Five was unaware of the operator’s strange behaviour as she fiddled with the sides of the headset so it wasn’t so loose. She continued on, “Once you get one under your belt, you have a much more productive day.”

Sam swallowed a gulp. Was that a euphemism too?

“Do you like naps?”

His brain seemed to short-circuit for a moment when he realised the runner was waiting for a reply. Did she mean actual naps or… what she had been doing earlier? Well, either way, the answer was still the same.

“Yes.”

——-

Sam clenched his fists as he heard Five during her run. It had been about ten minutes and he was already wishing that the run was over, for his own sanity. Listening to her  breathing through the microphone (as low-quality as it was) usually doesn’t bother him, but now he can’t stop thinking about how her breath had sounded similar when he walked in on her earlier. Little, gasping breaths. Over and over again.

“Oh, God.” She said breathily.

He closed his eyes tightly, biting his lower lip. That definitely didn’t help where his mind was going. Sam shook his head as if that would make the inappropriate thoughts dissipate.

“Sam.” She spoke up again in the same breathy voice.

He held back a groan. Would that be what she sounded like if she said his name during-

“Sam! Zoms!”

“Shit!” He opened his eyes and focused on the screen in front of him, indeed spotting multiple zombies right in Five’s path. He snapped into serious radio operator mode, instantly forgetting the thoughts from earlier as he helped his runner out of danger.

-----

The door to the comms shack swung open, the (mercifully still alive) Runner Five placing her headset to charge as she let down her hair from the ponytail, a few strands sticking to her sweaty, flushed face.

She spoke quickly and energetically, still feeling the effects of the adrenaline, “That was a close one, huh?”

Sam fiddled with his hands nervously, not having enough courage to turn in his chair and look the runner in the eye. “I almost killed you.” His voice was quiet and nervous.

Five scoffed, “Not on purpose!” She saw his shoulders hitched up to his ears and his hands clenched. She moved closer, “Hey, look at me.” Sam’s eyes flitted upwards to look at her, guilt plastered all over his features. “I’m okay. I’m good.”

“Yeah, but you could have not been!” He exclaimed, surprising Five with his loud voice.

“Hey, you were doing your best-”

“No, I wasn’t!” He interrupted frantically, “I was distracted and I need to talk to you about why or else I’ll keep thinking about it.”

Five looked at him with narrowed eyes, “Okay.” She prompted, “Talk to me then.”

He gave a big sigh, breaking eye contact again as he mustered up the courage. “I saw you.” He admitted quietly. “When you were… in your bed.”

“I know.”

Sam’s head snapped up immediately. She knew he was there? Was Maxine right? Did she want him to see?

Five continued, “I talked to you. Are you okay?” She scanned his face with a concerned look, “You look kind of hot. Are you running a fever?”

Sam sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “No, not then. Before that.”

“Before?” She wracked her brain, “You mean a few days ago? When you gave me back that DVD you borrowed?” She shrugged, “Look, it doesn’t matter-”

Sam decided that he had to say this now, before Runner Five graciously gave him a way out. He cut her off, the panic coursing through his veins making him speak louder than intended.

“I saw you masturbating!”

In the same exact moment, the comms shack door opened to reveal Jack and Eugene. The latter had his mouth open wide in shock, whereas the former had a grin on his face like he’d just won the lottery.

“We can come back later.” Jack mused, laughter present in his voice.

“Yeah,” Eugene added, once he’d gotten over the shock, “No-one listens to us anyway.”

The pair shuffled backwards in unison, erupting into giggles before the door had even closed fully. Sam risked a glance at Runner Five to see her reaction, but she kept a straight face, nothing giving her away other than the fierce blush on her cheeks.

“I’m so sorry,” Sam began, bolting up from his chair to stand in front of Five, “I didn’t mean to. I promise. I was heading over to ask you to go on the run. And I knocked! Just not loud enough, I guess. And once I realised what was happening, I closed the door and left. And I wasn’t going to tell you because I didn’t want to embarrass you or make you upset. I’m so so sorry-”

“It’s okay.”

“And I-” His jaw snapped shut, “What?”

The runner rolled her eyes, “I said its okay.”

“Wh- I- Um- Wh-” He stammered.

Five continued with a small smile, “I have to strip after every run so a doctor can check me for bites. I’ve been walked in on in the shower more times than I can count. And on my second week here, I was out on a run with Three and he just dropped his trousers and started taking a leak in a bush without warning me first, and that is something I can never unsee.” A chuckle bubbled up through Sam’s chest without meaning to. Five grinned at the melodious noise and continued, “Modesty is long gone. Its okay, I swear. And I appreciate you telling me.”

Sam let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and gave a relieved smile, “Okay. Sorry again.”

“Stop it, I said its fine.” Then a cheeky smile came across her face, “If you really want to make it up to me, you could give me your portion of baked beans next time it’s in the canteen.”

He laughed, happy to still be on joking terms with his runner after this whole incident. “Done.”

Five gave a reassuring pat to Sam’s shoulder, then turned to head out of the comms shack. While walking out, she couldn’t help but make one last comment.

“Or, if you’re not willing to give up your beans, we could always have a role reversal instead.” She said nonchalantly, closing the door behind her.

She heard Sam’s coughing through the door even as she walked away.

-----

i’m so embarrassed to post this aaaaaaa

[miyomiikonran]

Burn the Witch Personal Review

I know how this sounds, especially I never did smth like that, so just pls treat it more like bunch of thoughts and opinions on this new title from long-term fan of Bleach rather than some professionally done review. I watched all three episodes and for now I didn't have much time to read the manga (I have a lot of stuff to read for my studies so ;;") so I just went through stuff written on fan wiki. So beware! Spoilers ahead!

So anyway, new title from Tite Kubo. I could not know who's the author and I still would've guessed who it is. It has such a familiar vibe for me, it's a lot like Bleach for me in terms of humor, dialogues, character interactions and so on. Backgrounds also have this kind of similar vibe but I can't tell what's exactly causing it cus I'm no artist. Kubo in his glory days always had great backgrounds so that's all I'm able to say. I think he catched some breath after Bleach's ending and came back with new energy, so his skills are back too.

About characters. I'm glad he did two main female characters this time, even though both Noel and Ninny annoyed me through most of these ~60 minutes. I'm gonna say that's how it usually is before you get to know these characters better. Balgo annoyed me the most because he's typical perverted guy (which I'm really tired of) but with sweet dumny appearance (I'm here for it) so we'll see where will this character go further. Ninny's idol type, so I wasn't really excited at first, but I really liked her interactions with Macy, so I see chances for future development. Kinda the same with Noel and Balgo, they have some chances to get better through their influence on each other. Noel is kinda boring on her own most of the time, but her drive for money is sooo relatable for me right now.

My absolute favourite for now is Osushi, which kinda amused me, cus it's complete opposite compared with how I reacted to Kon at first, who also was sort of mascot in Bleach. I think Kubo has a thing for "seems cute but can kill you" type of mascot...

Let's adress the elefant in the room now. It's the same damn universe as Bleach. It blew my mind completely since I read about this series. It's the same universe (12 years after the war) and it has witches and dragons! Don't get me wrong, tbh I think it could work, it makes sense in it's own twisted kind of way. I just wish we were given any clues about existence of other "reverse worlds"/Soul Societies before this title came out. Cus it makes sense when you think about it. For me it looks like each country/culture (cus idk if each country wouldn't be too much) could have it's own kind of reverse world coexisting with human world, with it's magic, creatures and rules rooted in it's history, culture and beliefs. That's why suddenly we have these european-looking dragons and completely different approach to them- rather than kill them, humans are using them for their own gain, which for me makes sense for country that started industrial age and was first capitalistic-kind of system in the world. Obviously they would be like "ey, it's kinda a waste to kill them, maybe we could use them to make our life easier?". In Bleach it was all more about restoring and keeping balance between worlds, moral duty, honor and strict rules which makes sense (at least for me) in japanese society. Same with Shinigami and their powers. Other stuff like Quincy and Arrancars kinda throw off this kind of logic but well, I'm just trying to find some sense in this madness.

How's the plot then going, in such weird curricumstances? For me it could easily defend itself as independent idea and separate universe. If someone didn't knew Bleach and watched this I'm pretty sure it would be viewed almost the same for now. Will it have more connections to stuff we know from Bleach? Idk, I hope so, cus if not then it's just kinda using the nostalgia left by previous series. This world is surely builded the same, we have two coexisting worlds, one with common humans and the other with people being able to see and fight supernatural beings that endanger both of these worlds. We have the same kind of structure of power as well, at least for me. Wind Bind is new Gotei 13, this time with symbolism based on zodiak signs. Cool, it would probably suggest 12 divisions, but for now we know about only 8 but once again, we'll see.

Each division has it's own field of work, responsibilities and leader. They all look just as weird and eccentric as Gotei 13 when we first met them, so hello darkness my old friend, especially one lady looks like nazi-wannabe again (Quincy I'm looking at you!). For now we only saw Bruno in action who's division is a fighting type, tasked with extermination of dangerous dragons. He's got very cool design and I adore style of magic he uses because I never saw anyone use spray paint for drawing magical symbols before. Very modern-looking guy and I'm here for it, especially he looks like Grimmjow's younger bro. In general this universe is on our typical technology level with smartphones and stuff everywhere, which is suprising to see having in mind whole traditionally japanese looking enviroment from original Soul Society. About the rest we barely know anything so well. We'll see, once again.

Do I see any clear villain in sight? Nah, not for now. For now we only know about 8 dangerous legendary dragons based on common fairy tales. Interesting concept, but I would like to see some classic villian too. However, we already got the same kind of lesson that Bleach served us- authorities cannot be easily trusted either, as their judgement also can be too strict, cruel and subcjetive without many possibilities to oppose them by avarage person. I smell more future drama in this topic. Especially we once again got elderly boss who looks similar to Yamamoto from Bleach.

One thing that kinda dissapointed me was music. Bleach made me used to very climatic, often dramatic soundtracks, kinda dark-sounding most of the time. Openings were mostly very good too, while here I barely noticed any music at all. Animation didn't really leave me in awe either, only fights seemed interesting and magic was nicely animated. But it's kinda boring compared to very dynamic animation in Bleach. First two episodes made me think of first two arcs of Bleach but it's been over 15 years! ;-;"

In the end, will I watch more? Yeah, for sure. I got very excited to see something new from Kubo, I'm rooting for him and his new series to be less damaging for his health and mental state so this time he'll have means to develop and finish it properly, ideally without more conflicts with Shounen Jump. If he'll play it right with connections to Bleach it might get every good and bring back old fanbase, maybe even make people forgive him completely for Bleach's rushed ending. I see he already got some lessons from that experience, as now he decided to publish chapters in small batches rather than weekly. For me it's good solution that may help him keep his sanity intact. I'm willing to wait if it means he'll get back to his fomer skills and glory because I loved Bleach with my whole heart. If only anime production will be okay with such work dynamic then sure, great. I hope music and animation will get better overtime, maybe with more people getting interested they'll be able to spend more time and effort on it. I'm waiting for more characters to appear for more screentime as well, despite what I said about weird looking leaders of Wind Bind. Kubo proved he can make interesting and unique looking characters before, as well as create engaging villians and fights that fans are waiting for for months or years even. Maybe he even learnt a thing or two from plot holes that happend before. We'll see, I'm hopefull and willing to see where this series will be going c:

[angstsfordays]

Tell Me Now

Summary: The best part about love is always that bit before you actually confessed your feelings and officially be together. That mutual pining and fluttering feeling. But that would not last forever. You got to tell that person someday before it’s too late.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Main pairing), Steve Rogers x Reader (Supporting pairing)

Warnings: LOTS OF FEELINGS. Maybe a few swear words? Mutual pining and much slow burn that will make your heart ache.

Word count: 10889

Notes: Thank you for supporting my story: Stay with Me and For You! If you haven’t check it out, be sure to do so! I’m back with a new post that has been in my drafts for a while. Since I’m finally on a break from school, I managed to continue working on it!

This time, I’m back with a Bucky story and it will be in the same universe as my two other posts. So for Bucky’s stories, Steve’s girl will be named Ro(salie). In Steve’s stories, Bucky’s girl will also have a name (undecided yet) otherwise it will just be weird like Reader 1 or 2. Just take note again that Ro (in this story) is an OC from my previous two related stories!

 Hoping that this story can cheer everyone up in these difficult times. Take care and stay safe! Wear masks and practice social-distancing! Anyways, hope y’all enjoy this one too! IT’S REALLY LONG BUT I HOPE IT’S WORTH A READ. Let me know what you think! 😊

———————————————————————

“I imagined you would have plans on a Friday night.” You were still in a deep pile of work before the voice of your boss snapped you out of your concentration.

You could not hide the frown that formed on your face as you looked up to meet his face. “I wonder who decided it would be a good idea to have a crossfire in the Amazon forest.”

“Well, we can’t decide where the bad guys want to be? Plus, no people were hurt, we were well away from civilization.” Tony tried to downplay the aftermath of the previous mission. The team were intercepting the trafficking of dangerous weapon materials by a rogue organisation. Said organisation thought it would be escape unscathed and undetected through the biggest rainforest from Earth’s mightiest heroes.

“There were no people but there were tons of wildlife, Tony! Animal activists and nature conservationists are basically rioting! That’s two more to add to the list of people that are pissing at the Avengers!”

You retorted at your boss’ almost nonchalant attitude. You knew he was not surprised that the Avengers always received backlash even if they were only trying to save the world.

It was a long week for you, having to clear up this PR stunt caused by the Avengers. You have started working for Tony Stark as his new assistant for the past six months. With Pepper taking over Stark Industries as CEO, Tony Stark could solely focus on his Avenger duties.

However, even with Friday, he needed someone on the ground that could help him with matters that require human interactions. More specifically, to deal with the Public Relations side of the matter.

Needless to say, while people are grateful for the Avengers, there are some who weren’t. Mainly any government authorities who aren’t able to control the Avengers. Fame has two sides of the coin and Tony Stark hardly has time to juggle bad press and public relations on top of his Avenging duties.

You were recruited after you left your previous job, playing the whistle blower to your company whom you found out were involved in shady dealings linked to Hydra. You refused to defend them and save them with a PR campaign, thus you gathered all evidence and decided to throw them under the bus.

Life was hell for you after, you found yourself to be in danger courtesy of your previous employer. He decided to hire a Hydra agent to take your life and you were fearing for your life. You knew that you might not be able to convince the police to help you with this matter and you were sure that you would be dead.

But with whatever luck you had left, the attempt at your life was intervened by the one and only Avengers. You still remembered how your door was knocked down by Captain America and Black Widow decided to make an entrance through your window. What a dream, right?

You remembered shaking terribly as both Avengers fought off your terribly strong assassin. As you backed up to get away from the scene, your back collided into a hard chest. A cool, metal hand had held you close and your heart leap in fear. You turned back to see the Winter Soldier, as stone cold as you have known him from the news, his eyes held a reassuring stare that prevented you from screaming your lungs out.

You did not know what prompted your next actions but you threw yourself at him, arms encircling neck and hiding yourself in his warm embrace. You hoped that he could protect you. You did not want to die just yet, you believed you still had a lot of things to fulfill in life.

And that was basically the beginning of your new life. After being rescued, Tony recruited you into the Avengers though not as an Avenger. You wished, ha! Instead, you were hired as the PR director for the Avengers. Tony Stark was impressed with what you did previously with your previous company and decided to hire you to manage PR for the Avengers. God knows he would not want to deal with that.

It was also to make sure you were under protection with Earth’s Mightiest Heroes and that you did not need to worry about any attempts on your life. The agent and your previous employer were dealt with. You were in a much better place now.

“Come on kid, let me make you a drink.”

“I don’t think that it is appropriate in the workplace, boss.” You jested but you knew he mean well. Tony is a great boss despite his occasional oddities. He respected and trusted you, and that is all you really ask for in a boss.

“How about as a friend?” He shrugged off your previous comment before gesturing you to follow him to the exclusive lounge area for Avengers. This was entirely different because it was located in the private living quarters of Avenger members. All other personnel did not have access to it, even you until not long ago.

When you were first introduced to the team, you could not believe yourself to be in that situation. You became fast friends with the girls and it was Rosalie or Ro as she liked to be called (who’s also Steve Roger’s girlfriend) that made you feel at home with the team.

She was impressed at your bravery to stand up to injustice and made it a point to be your friend. She would sometimes ask you out for lunch or coffee, eventually inviting you to hang out with the rest of the girls.

All of them were so normal, unlike their fierce and badass images as Avengers. You could really see that they were just normal people with everyday problems. They have come to seek your advice on everyday stuff, such as dress for a party or planning a surprise for their significant other.

Then one day came the big question.

“Do you have anyone special, Y/N?” You crinkled your nose at Ro’s question and shook your head. You never thought about it since you have been busy with work.

You had only one serious boyfriend after college but you broke off the relationship when you realised that he was not the one for you. He wanted you to be the trophy wife in his life, proposing to you a couple of years after you started your career. He assured he will take care of you as he started climbing up the corporate ladder. He wanted to start a family but you knew you wanted more.

You wanted your own career and be part of something more meaningful and bigger than yourself. There was no way you wanted to be confined to a home taking care of children. Sure, you might hope for it in the future but you knew the potential that you had. You were not going it to give it up so easily.

“Never really thought about it.” You shrugged as you drank your iced coffee.

“Oh come on, Y/N. There are plenty of guys here in the compound, don’t tell me there isn’t one that caught your eye.” Your eyes widened at Ro’s words. While subtle, your body language did not slip past the keen eyes of Natasha Romanoff. There was one guy. Maybe. But you were not going to let them know.

“There isn’t any.” Your answer was curt before taking another sip of that coffee.

“You’re lying.” Natasha answered smoothly, if you were not close with her you would have stopped yourself from throwing daggers at her with your eyes.

“There isn’t-” You look to Wanda who was giggling at the exchange and your eyes widened at the possibility of-

“Wanda! Don’t you dare!” You warned the young girl as you knew what she was capable of. God forbid she read your mind and figure out whose image first popped in your mind. She threw her arms mockingly and gave an expression like she would not dare to so even while she had a wide grin on her face.

“Who is it?!” Ro started getting excited at the prospect of her friend having her crush.

“No one! Oh look at the time, I need to brief Tony about something-some meeting- something…BYE!” You hurriedly walked out of the pantry. You knew that the girls would hound you for answers and you were not ready to face that yet.

—————————————————���—————

“Earth to Y/N. Yoohoo!” The sound of Tony’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts once again and the incident with the girls that happened only yesterday.

“Wha- what?”

“I asked for your favourite poison?” Tony quipped before he started to open the cabinets for his liquors.

“Uh- surprise me with your best.” You tried to give a fast answer as you were just interrupted from your memory of yesterday. Tony threw a smirk over his shoulder before he went ahead to get some ice.

“Oooh, is Tony making drinks?” A new voice appears and you turned to see Ro entering the lounge. Behind her were the rest of the Avengers who were slowly filing into the room.

“Be prepared for an amazing show.” Tony started to wave his hands like a showman. He closed the cocktail shakers and started doing an awkward dance to a song that he requested Friday to play. It was overall cheesy and greasy, unlike his usual public image.

You started laughing and clapping to cheer him on. There was some holler in the background and Tony finally poured his concoction into a fancy glass. Adding in a small umbrella, he presented it to you. You turned to the rest of the team to show it off before taking a sip.

“It’s called ‘I cannot live without you’ because we cannot live without you now, Y/N.” Tony did a dramatic wave his hands before bowing. You chuckled at his theatrics before downing your drink.

“On behalf of the team, we’re sorry that you have to clean up our shit.” Tony exclaimed to which everyone snorted but agreed. They knew they owe you big for clearing the PR mess after every time they had to do their job of saving the world.

Natasha and Wanda decided to join Tony behind the bar and make some drinks for everyone as well. Everyone took a seat around the lounge table near the island and Ro took the seat beside yours.

“You worked hard, Y/N. Thank you.” She went in to hug you from the side.

“Anything for you, baby.” You petted her like she was your child.

“Thanks again, Y/N.” Steve (you could never get over the fact that you were on first name basis with Captain America) chimed in. You responded with a salute and spoke.

“Just doing my job, Steve.” The rest all started sitting down one by one with drinks passed out. Everyone fell into easy conversation.

A flash of blue passed by your eyes and you saw Bucky Barnes taking the sit across you. He was dressed in a long-sleeved blue Henley with dark pants. He just had his hair cut short and you could not help to leave a small gasp when he turned to meet your eyes.

You immediately swerved to face Ro who was talking to Steve. Seeing that she was busy in conversation, you turned your head to the other side to meet Natasha who was giving you a confused expression at your flustered one.

Your hand reached out to your drink to get another sip, unknowingly Bucky’s own fingers brushed against yours to reach out for his drink on the same table. Your eyes immediately averted to scan his reaction and he gave you a curt polite smile. You tried to muster a response, any really to show that you were cool-headed.

Bucky threw in another nod as he raised his drink and you nodded in response to his gesture, his mannerisms threw you off guard. In your almost entire year of working with the Avengers, you barely had a solid interaction with the Winter Soldier.

By that, you mean that the most interaction you had was a nod in the hallway, a greeting in the morning when you passed by the gym on the way to your office or when he saw you getting off work in the evening. There also was the occasion asking of refills for coffee when you see him in the pantry. And that was it.

Your first meeting with Bucky had left a big impact on you because for the first time you had felt an indescribable emotion that only he had on you. You had always had a strong independent spirit and never felt the need to depend on someone. That was how you were raised in your household and your parents had pushed for you to exceed in life, given that you were from a second-generation immigrant family.

That kind of mentality had been ingrained into your life and you never let your guard down with people. Not until that fateful day…. for the first time you just wanted someone to depend on. But no matter, Bucky Barnes is out of your league, you reminded yourself.

You have seen how the gaze of female agents or staff move over to him whenever he stepped into the room. He did not even need to try, which was even the more annoying part. 

Snap out of it, Y/N.

“Hey Y/N, you would not have gotten sick of us, yet right?” Sam quipped up in the conversation. You did not know what the context of the current conversation was but you just decided to answer away.

“Hmm, I don’t know. Is a drink really going to make me stay?” You shook your empty glass and Wanda initiated to refill it.

“Well then ask away, my dearest and indispensable employee. What would you like as an early bonus?” You jokingly made a serious face and looked like you were pondering hard on the question. Nothing really came into mind as you were happy with what you had for the moment.

“Maybe a vacation?” Natasha suggested with her brows raised. You nodded with a thoughtful expression, that would indeed be nice. Would you go to the beach or the mountains for a nice personal retreat?

“That’s too simple. You should use Stark’s card to the fullest advantage.” Sam said smugly and you returned with an expression that showed agreement.

“How about a boyfriend?” Ro’s voice suddenly injected into the conversation. You swerved your head to face her, eyes widened at her bold suggestion.

“Oh, what’s this all about?” You could already imagine the gears spinning in your boss’ head and you really wanted to strangle Ro for a quick minute.

“Y/N deserves someone special in her life, you have been overworking her too hard Tony.” Ro continued with a playful expression and you swore you were going to lean over and-

“Get some, get some!” Sam started cheering to which Ro joined. The both of them acting like children.

“I don’t understand, what is Miss Y/N getting?” Vision suddenly asked in the midst and you saw Wanda giggling with an embarrassed expression at her boyfriend’s innocence.

“Stop it, Rosalie! You know I don’t like to talk about this!” You gave a fair warning to the hyped-up Avenger whom Steve almost seemed embarrassed of as he sighed at his girlfriend’s antics.

“Hey! You know I don’t like it people call me Rosalie!” Ro retorted as she folded her arms.

“Well, you crossed the line first.” You threw back a squinted glare.

“Oh come on, I just want you to find someone that can make you happy because you make us happy.” Ro started walking towards you with her hands outstretched, wanting to give you a hug.

“Uh-uh, you don’t get to be all cute on me after what you did. Steve might fall for it but I won’t.” You held up an accusing finger to which Ro pouted.

“Steve, she is so mean to me.” The girl started pouting and went to sit on Steve’s lap, hugging him like a teddy bear. Steve returned the embrace but not before looking up to you and mouthed to you ‘sorry’. 

You knew Ro meant well like a sister but you REFUSED to speak of your non-existent love life in front of everyone (well specifically HIM).

“Oh come on, Y/N. Ro just wanted the best for you. It’s important to work hard but one must play hard” Sam added on with a smirk to which you threw him a glance that hinted for him to zip it.

“You sure there is no one you’re interested? I happen to be a great matchmaker myself on top of being a billionaire, playboy wait scratch that I married with a kid, philanthropist…” Tony gestured to himself smugly.

“How about no Tony, I am not going to be one of your special projects.” You waved your boss-friend off before running your hands through your hair, exasperated at what tonight’s conversation started leading to.

“Oh come on, there are plenty of men in the compound. Take your pick, any pick. I will set you up.” Tony insisted and made a gesture to actually pull up a holographic database of all personnel data.

“Oh my god Tony. Believe it or not, I don’t need your help and I am not confident about YOUR taste in men.” You gasped in shock at what he was doing and wanted to squirm into the corner of the couch that you were sitting on.

“Well then, I am sure you will be confident in my taste.” Natasha’s voice pulled you out of your recluse and you returned a disbelieved look towards the redhead.

Your eyes averted once more to the beautiful brunette in blue across you to gauge his reaction to all this sudden intervention. Bucky looked aloof and amused altogether, he had his usual calm demeanour but you could make out the small upward curve of his lips. What was he really thinking about, you wondered.

“Argh fine. If I let you have your way, can we stop having this conversation that I never needed.” You issued an ultimatum to the group; you just wanted this conversation to end.

“Deal.” Natasha answered while Ro nodded eagerly from your side.

“Fine, If there is someone nice, you can introduce him to me.” You threw your hands up in defeat before crossing them over your chest, signalling to the team that you are so done with this ordeal.

“Yay!” Ro got off Steve’s lap and started doing a celebratory dance by swing her hands in circles. Everyone’s attention went to her and her little dance was met with amusement. You could not help but to laugh at her excitement, your eyes suddenly caught the sight across you.

Bucky Barnes suddenly had a hardened expression on his face unlike before and his eyes stared right into your soul (as cheesy as it sounds). It suddenly threw you off guard because this was probably the most intimate interaction you had with each other and you immediately tried looking everywhere but him.

“Please promise he won’t be weird.” You turned to your redhead friend and requested with a pout. Her eyes fleeted somewhere else before meeting yours.

“Trust me, Y/N. Believe it or not, I am a psychic when it comes to this sort of things.” You definitely had faith in your friend, I mean she would never sabotage you. Right?

———————————————————————

You return to work on Monday well rested. You manage to give yourself a personal retreat over the weekend by visiting cafes and bookstores. You even baked some Nutella tarts on Sunday and planned to give it to the team to share.

As you stepped into your office to put your things down, Friday requested you to head down to laboratory. You gave yourself one last look in the reflection of your glass office, straightening your tan midi pencil skirt and light blue blouse. You took your Stark Pad and place the earpiece on your left ear.

You were ready to face whatever work would bring. You took light confident steps to the level that the laboratory was on. Walking in to the open lab space, you saw Tony and Bruce exchanging playful banter, well more so on Tony’s side.

The two men’s attention turned to you once you stepped into the room and you were welcomed with smiles.

“What’s up, boss?” Your eyes went to Tony before going to Bruce. “Morning, Bruce.”

The scientist returned your greeting with a warm smile before walking back to his workstation. Tony signalled for you to follow him as he started pulling up holographic images and was looking through some data information. “So how’s your morning?”

“Good. Friday said you wanted to see me. What do you need me to do?” Your statement made Tony rolled his eyes as he made a jokingly exasperated expression.

“Diving into work talk so early at 10? Relax Y/N.”

“Some people actually start work earlier, Mr Stark and I’m not paid to relax.” You knew Tony was unlike any boss, he definitely had his quirks but it was not something you could not work with.

“You almost sound like Cap for a second there, how did I get such an employee like you?” Tony almost looked thrown off for a moment but you knew it was in jest.

“You offered me a job after saving my ass from an assassination attempt on my life.” Your deadpanned expression drew a laugh from your boss. He held up his hands before resting one on his hip.

“You never fail to surprise me Y/N. Anyways, okay onto business, we have a visitor and I need you to show him around.”

“Alright? Who is it?” Looking up to your boss with curious eyes, you were surprised when he let out a sigh- as if he were actually concerned about the matter.

“The government is sending in an agent to check in on the Avengers for a yearly assessment. It is part of our compliance to be transparent with what we actually do. Of course, we do not divulge mission information and all that. But they do want to know how we run operations on a general basis.”

“And you chose me because….” Your brows furrowed at the sudden revelation of information.

“You are the perfect person for the job. You know exactly what and what not to show them without infringing on our privacy.” Tony answered nonchalantly while instructing Friday to work on some scientific analysis.

“Right, of course. I’m the PR girl.” You answered with a knowing expression.

“No, you’re now my trusted adviser and there is no one else I trust with the task.” Tony looked up to meet your eyes with a serious expression for a short moment.

“Adviser? I’m just in charge of PR.” Placing your free hand on your hip, you made an exasperated stance as you gave Tony a questionable look.

“Oh well, would you look at that? You’ve been promoted. Congratulations, that will be your bonus for handling the Amazon stunt.” Tony started clapping to himself before making a grand hand gesture.

“Seriously, Tony? That’s like my job, it does not call for a promotion.” Your brows quirked and you had to give him a ‘I’m not buying this’ expression.

“Well, I’m the boss. I’m right, you’re wrong and thus I can promote you.” He gave you an all-knowing expression before he suddenly had a look that said he was reminded of something. “He will be here in 1 hour.”

“You are giving me 1 hour to prepare? Oh my god, Tony. That’s too little time!” You started stomping in your heels before frantically looking to your Stark Pad and asking Friday to send you information on your soon to come visitor.

“You can make it work; you always do.” Tony gave you a thumbs up with an eat-shitting grin. You could not even return him a verbal response and let out a short grunt before making your way out of the lab.

“I am experienced enough to do this. I am capable enough to do this. I can do this” Chanting a mantra to calm your nerves, you started preparing information on your Stark Pad to come up with an agenda to welcome the government agent.

You were definitely going to request for a vacation soon after this.

Walking to the lobby at 10.45 am, you stood by the receptionist desk as you waited for your visitor. You chatted with the receptionist, Jenny briefly to calm your nerves. She was a sweet-looking lady in her early 40s who was a single mother of two boys. However, her appearance was just a façade as you knew her to be tough and hard worker who was great at her job.

You once witnessed her putting a rude government employee who was here to accompany a higher up in meeting with you boss. She took no shit from the man who looked down on her for being a ‘front desk lady’ and asked her to get coffee.

That moment never failed to make you feel good about being a woman.

Looking down at your Stark Pad, you read through the profile of your visitor. Keith Wellings. Age 45. A federal agent with the US government for almost 20 years. This man rose the ranks quick to his connections and tenacity to mix with the right people at the right time. He is definitely going to use this opportunity to curry favour both sides.

He will definitely make it hard to pass assessment in exchange for favours from your side. Keith will definitely be careful on how he presents this assessment to his bosses as he definitely knows the government will go to any lengths to get dirt on the Avengers. He will be on the offensive on this visit. You need to make sure he does not cross any line.

You could hear the footsteps before you saw someone walking through the door. To your surprise, the man entering through the door does not look like the one in your tablet.

He had a sense of familiarity around but where had you seen him before?

“Y/N Y/L/N! How has fate brought us together again?” His voice ringed an alert in your memory and you took an intake of air to calm yourself. There was no way it could be….

“Teddy Radnor?” Your voice was soft but you knew he could hear you. This was evident in how his face lit up at your recognition of him.

“It’s great to see you again.” You did not anticipate the hug that was coming for you and almost dropped your tablet as he pulled you in for one.

Teddy Radnor was your college friend. You both were studying the same major and became fair friends. You saved him from getting humiliated at a party by agreeing to be his ‘hot’ date as part of his frat house orientation. You were from the sister sorority which you only agreed to join as it was free housing on campus.

Teddy was a bit of a dork back in the college years and he was only in the fraternity because his family were legacies. You still thought he was a nice and sweet guy, albeit he started being clingy seeing that you were the only person who was genuinely nice to him. You did see him as a friend and brother though you knew he saw you otherwise.

While you did attract some attention from guys, you were focused on your studies. Teddy made sure to be the buffer and saw himself as your unofficial boyfriend. You tried on many occasions to give him the hint and ultimately told him the truth. He seemed to accept it but he believed that he could stand a chance one day in the future.

You lost touch with him upon graduation. You were busy in your career and you heard that he was busy advancing in his too. You just never thought you would be reunited after five years later under such circumstances.

“Wow, you’re working with the Avengers? That’s so awesome.” Those were his first words as he released you from the hug.

“Yeah, I switched job. And you’re working with the government? Wow.” You tried to match his enthusiasm.

“Yes-yes, not easy but I figured if I worked hard enough, I would be able to work in a place of importance.” Teddy’s words reminded you of why you were friends with him in the first place. Even while he’s sometimes awkward and couldn’t take a hint on your unrequited feelings for him, you knew he was a good person.

“I’m proud of you Teddy. I know you always wanted to work in public affairs.”

“Well, I could say the same for you. You’re working with the Avengers. I can’t believe I’m also here. Keith had another work thing so I was called in at the last minute to replace him.” You nodded in understanding. So that’s why Teddy was here.

Lady luck had to be on your side. You knew Teddy and Teddy definitely would not make it hard for you. This assessment would be a breeze.

———————————————————————

You gave Teddy a walk through of the entire compound, from the back end communications to the training grounds. He looked like a child at a playground with a piece of candy. You were sure he would give you the benefit of a good assessment.

You had lunch with him in the cafeteria and was ready to seal the deal when you heard him mention one important thing. “I know it sounds unprofessional of me but between friends, I want to let you know that I’m secretly a huge Avengers fan. I was stoked when I got the call to come in.”

“Oh yeah, who’s your favourite?” You tried asking casually, trying to hide the fact that you had a plan up your sleeve.

“Oh my gosh, they are all amazing. They truly are, but it has to be Cap for me. He really is the cream of the crop for me.” Nodding deviously, you already had a feeling that Teddy’s idol had to be Steve. Teddy was the history buff back in college.

“Of course, I understand Teddy. Well, it just so happens that I am acquainted with Cap and I could introduce you to him.” You gave your most award-winning smile to hook him in. Teddy looked at you for a moment before speaking. “Oh I see what you’re doing.”

You tried to conceal your expressions and gave him a confused frown at his words. Shit, was he catching up? “You’re trying to butter me up.” Shit, he did. Teddy continued on talking.

“And it’s working slightly but I still have to be impartial about this assessment, Y/N.” You heaved a small sigh of relief before smiling sweetly up at him again. “Oh come on, Teddy. I am just doing this for an old friend.”

“Old friend, right….” It was meant to be a mutter to himself but you could hear it loud and clear. You tried to brush it aside as you asked him if he was done with lunch. The two of you cleared your plates before continuing the walk through.

You brought Teddy to one of the lower levels and stopped in front of the door. You did not have to do anything as Friday recognised your presence and went ahead to open the door for you. Teddy turned to look at you in amazement once more while you returned a smug look in return at his response.

The two of you were brought to the sight of an Avengers-only training exercise. Saving the best for last, you peeked at Teddy’s response and had to bite your lip from forming a full-on grin.

Hook, line, sinker.

———————————————————————

Bucky Barnes had to focus. Steve had come up with a new training regime for field operations after reviewing past mission scenarios.

Playing to each member’s strength, Steve came up with offensive and defensive pairings for field combat. He was paired with Ro in the exercise, she was on defence while he was offense. While Ro had firepower with the nature of her powers, Steve decided she suited long range attacks with her ability to fly and that she can direct her powers from a further distance.

The duality of her flame like energy blasts was able to incinerate and tranquilize made her perfect to defend the team from attacks. Bucky on the other hand, more experienced in operative work will be the one to sneak into enemy lines and obtain the necessary data or item of interest.

In this particular scenario, Ro had to build an energy -based force field to defend the both of them from raining firepower. The rest of the team collectively tried to break the barrier while Ro had to endure it and bring Bucky into the ‘enemy base’.

Bucky looked over to see Ro enduring attacks from both Vision and Natasha. Steve was overseeing the practice while Sam took the side-lines to help Steve with the analysis of the training practice.

Bucky focused on defeating the holographic images that Wanda was conjuring to mimic potential enemies. Bucky’s ears suddenly perked up at the sound of new arrival into the training room.

Looking up, he saw you with an unknown man who seemed like he was in awe of everything. Bucky broke concentration for a moment and felt himself being punched in the jaw by one of the holographic enemies.

“Bucky, why are you not focusing-” Steve’s words were interrupted as he too looked up at the presence of new arrival into the room.

“Alright, we can take a break. Buck, Ro, the both of you were doing great. It was the right decision to pair you two together. We can resume again later.” Steve’s approval was all he needed for him to let loose and catch a breath.

Reeling away from Captain mode, Steve immediately switched to boyfriend mode. He went ahead to grab the water bottle and towel before making his way to his girlfriend. As Ro immediately gulped down the water, Steve lovingly wiped up the sweat on her face and placed a peck on the side of her temple. Bucky could hear him whispering ‘You did so good, darling’.

Ro gushed outwardly at Steve’s words by muffling her squealing into the towel. Steve chuckled at how she can still be blushing like a schoolgirl even when it was a year into their relationship. Bucky started to feel envious because he also wanted that relationship with someone too. Perhaps with someone who just entered the room.

The mysterious man and you started making way down the steps to the training grounds. Bucky gave the guy a once over, he looked decent enough but he didn’t like the way he was standing so close to you.

“Steve, I would like for you to meet someone. This is Teddy Radnor, he’s an agent from the government and is in charge of the assessment today.” You finally revealed who and where the guy was from.

“Captain Rogers, it is an honour to meet you. It’s an honour to meet everyone here, really.” This Teddy fellow stepped ahead to give Steve a handshake. Steve, putting on his public persona greeted the guy with a courteous smile.

“Likewise Agent Radnor. I hope you had a good experience.”

“Oh definitely. Y/N here has been a great host.” Agent Radnor placed his hands around your shoulder as he responded. You looked slightly taken aback by the sudden contact which made Bucky felt defensive all of a sudden.

As he was standing nearest to you, he though of taking a step forward to intervene when you turned to smile at Agent Radnor, looking embarrassed. What was going on-

Steve must have sensed the same thing he had because he asked what exactly Bucky had on his mind. “You two know each other?”

“Yes, we were college friends and in the same fraternity-sorority house.” Agent Radnor was quick to answer eagerly as he looked to you for affirmation. You just silently nodded in agreement.

“Oooh, college friends. Were you two close?” Ro started to join in the conversation as she stood beside Steve.

“Yes, yes indeed. In fact, I kind of confessed to her but she told me no. She did not see that way and wanted to focus on her studies which I respected that.” Agent Radnor seemed very pleased with his answer when it garnered intriguing responses from the rest of the team.

Bucky already started to dislike him.

“Teddy!” You were shocked at his sudden revelation and looked like you wanted to crawl into a hole as you brought up the Stark Pad to hide your face. You had a grimaced expression formed on your face after removing the tablet from your face. Your frown then turned into an irritated expression causing Bucky to follow your line of sight to find out what was the cause of it.

Bucky turned to see the girls namely Ro, Natasha and Wanda exchanging hush whispers with Cheshire grins on their face. Steve, Sam, and Vision did not know how to react in this circumstance and looked at each other awkwardly. Bucky did not like this man one bit.

“I’m sorry. Too much information. I always tend to be socially awkward when I’m nervous. I babble and say awkward stuff. I guess it’s because I’m just such a big fan of everyone. Oh wait, too much information again. I’m an agent and should be impartial during this assessment-” Agent Radnor started blabbering on and on, it was almost uncomfortable to endure.

You placed a comforting touch on his arm and tried to calm him down. ‘It’s alright Teddy, they’re just normal people like you and I.’ Bucky heard you say to him.

Even if Agent Radnor had embarrassed you before, you still offered him reassurance. That was one of the many things Bucky admired you, how effortless you were with people and the comforting presence you brought when you were in the room.

Bucky knew this was why you were so good at your job and that Tony Stark trusted whole-heartedly to place the well-being of the Avengers as your highest priority. He admired how level-headed you were no matter the crisis and the positivity that you had in ensuring that it will be dealt with.

More importantly, Bucky admired how you were genuine around the team. He was not sure when Tony recruited you after saving your life from Hydra. He was amazed at your bravery to stand up to injustice even if you did not any hero like powers. He was not sure how you would be like with the team, he preferred to keep you at a distance as with any strangers.

However, you started gaining fast friendships with everyone with your easy-going personality soon enough. He could see similarities between you and Ro in how you are friendly towards others but he could also see the difference. While Ro had an infectious and bubbly energy, you on the other hand draw people in with your cool and calming presence.

Bucky always wanted to get closer to you. He just didn’t know how to. Whenever he sees you, it was as if everything in him stilled and he could not express how he really felt. He only resorted to making sure he acknowledges your presence when in the same room, this was his way of him respecting you.

Bucky was not sure how else to approach you without making a fool of himself. He envied how the rest of the team were easy to warm up to you and he wished he could do the same too. But Bucky knew he didn’t deserve someone like you. Perhaps with his past, he does not deserve to be loved by someone at all.

Agent Radnor continued to have small talk with the rest of the team while Bucky looked on silently. You were looking on the exchange with interest without saying anything. You provided smiles of reassurance to Teddy as he spoke animatedly of his admiration for the Avengers.

Your eyes suddenly met his. Blood started rushing to his cheeks as he tried his best to maintain eye contact with you. This was the most imitate way that he could have with you without actually having to talk to you. God knows what nonsense would come out of his mouth if he actually tried to have a full-length conversation with you. How you render him speechless was beyond him.

Bucky could sense that you were getting nervous, your started blinking and your eyes were fleeting. Was it too much? Did he overdo it? Bucky saw you tucking a hair behind your ear before sending him a small smile his way.

While subtle, your smile made his breath hitched. Bucky then remembered to return the same gesture and the corner of his lips went up when he saw you trying to hold back a full smile while looking on the ground.

He wished he could have seen your full smile but he was sure you did not want to attract attention from the rest. What Bucky didn’t realise was that three devious women were observing this subtle exchange between you and him. The three women let out silent gasps as their theory was confirmed.

They always thought that they were imagining it because Bucky Barnes was always trying to mask his emotions around you while you tried your hardest to do the same. Wanda had her theory first before Natasha caught on immediately. Ro was the last but boy oh boy, when she knew, she was the most excited to bring this pairing to life.

Ro glanced over to Wanda and gave her the signal by rubbing the bridge of her nose. With a wave of her hands, Wanda caused one of the nearby pipes to burst and hot air started gushing, creating a high-pitched scream.

The sound took everyone off guard and Bucky went ahead to take you into his arms when he first heard the loud burst. You immediately returned the gesture and allowed yourself to stay in the protection of his arms.

When the realization of what happened dawned upon everyone, everyone let go of their ears to turn and check on each other.

Teddy was huddled and squatting down on the floor while most of the team squirmed slightly at the outburst, given that they were more used to loud sudden noises during field operations.

You opened your eyes and your heart started to race wildly as you found yourself in close proximity of Bucky. The previous time you were so close was during the first time when you two met and he saved your life.

“You alright, doll?” Did he just called you doll? You were hearing correctly right? Bucky chided himself as he realised what he had said. Who was he to call you doll? You may not even like the name!

“I’m alright, Bucky.” Bucky’s hands were still around your shoulders.

“Thank you.” You continued and it seemed like Bucky was suddenly snapped out of a trance. He let go of you immediately and you tried to adjust yourself, looking at the ground as you couldn’t meet his eyes. 

Your exchange was not missed by Teddy who got back on his feet.

“Oops, better call maintenance.” Ro suddenly chimed in. Oops? Bucky’s brows frowned as he found Ro’s words to be weird in this situation. He looked to see Ro exchanging glances with Wanda but could not put together what was going on.

What were those girls up to?

———————————————————————

“Well, I hope you will give us a good assessment. We really are just folks trying our best to help the world.” Steve sealed the deal as he tried ending Teddy’s experience on a good note.

“Of course, Captain. I am well aware.” Teddy gave a salute to Steve to which Steve returned awkwardly with matching enthusiasm. Teddy gave the rest an acknowledging nod and you gestured for him to leave. You suggested for him to return to a private space for you to wrap up the day.

As Teddy walked up the stairs, you quickly turned back to the rest of the team and gave Steve a thumbs up. The team gave silent holler and cheers as a sign of support and you gave a reassuring expression in response. They knew you had it in the bag.

You led Teddy to one of the small meeting rooms on the office level and discussed over how the assessment will conclude. Teddy had noted down his remarks in a government issued smart tablet of his own and he informed you that he would have to come up with a more comprehensive report for submission.

You understood and thanked him for his time. As you walked Teddy out to the lobby, you continued to make small talk and caught up on what you missed in each other’s lives for the past six years.

“Well, this has been fun.” Teddy turned to face you.

“Indeed, not trying to influence you using the friend card but I really hope you can give us a fair chance on this assessment. The Avengers may look glamourous with their hero-act but there’s a lot of work that goes on behind the scene. It’s really a lot of work and sacrifice on their part, putting their lives at risk so that they can make sure those who are not able to defend themselves are given the chance to live.” You tried to conclude the assessment on a positive and sincere note.

“Spoken like a true PR representative.” Teddy spoke as he chuckled.

“No. I’m speaking as someone who really truly witnessed it first-hand.” You hoped that Teddy could hear the sincerity in your voice and know that you were speaking from your heart. Teddy was not able to find the words to respond so he just nodded in understanding.

“Well, you will hear from us in a week.”

“I look forward to it.” You gave your most heartfelt smile. You initiated to say goodbye to Teddy first, wishing him the best in his work. He returned the same gesture and he started walking off.

As you saw him leaving out the door, you turned back to head to your office after a long day. Your name was suddenly called and you could see Teddy re-entering the building again to walk up to you.

“What is it, Teddy?” You were curious to know why Teddy had returned barely after he left. Looking over, you could see Teddy nervously rubbing his hands together and cracking his knuckles. You knew this was his tell sign of nervousness back in college. Guess he still had the same habit.

“Hey, Teddy. What’s wrong?” You tried to reassure him, hoping to calm his nerves with a supporting tone of voice.

“I was- I wanted-” You kept quiet to indicate for him to continue his sentence. Teddy looked at you straight in the eyes before he spoke.

“Y/N, I was hoping after this is over, we could have dinner together. To catch up again. Would that be alright?”

“Oh Teddy…. I’m not too sure, would that be alright-” You were starting to panic. Was he suggesting this so that…

“This is not some sort of exchange in any way and it would not affect the results of the assessment.” Heaving a sigh of relief, you looked up to meet Teddy’s eyes. It was déjà vu all over again, this was exactly how he looked like when he confessed to you back in college.

“I’m not too sure Teddy-”

“Please. Would you like to give me one more chance? To prove that maybe it can work out between us. I really really like you, Y/N. I still can’t forget about you after all these years….” You wished so hard to not be in this position again. 

You weren’t sure if you wanted to agree to this, knowing that you maybe had feelings for someone else. Even if it was impossible between you and said someone.

But you couldn’t lead Teddy on when you know your heart isn’t fully in on this.

“I would let you know again. Maybe once this is over?” You tried to give a neutral answer, one that didn’t give him too much hope but also not a crushing answer. Well, it seemed to please Teddy as he had a wide grin on his face when he heard your answer.

“Alright, sure. Yeah. Should I get your number?” He suggested with his grin still full-on.

“Well, I have yours. Stark Technology and all-” You pointed to your tablet and he just nodded in understanding.

“Great, well I hope to hear from you soon. With good news.” Now it was your turn to nod and Teddy took it upon himself to bid you goodbye with a hug. You returned it and then send him off.

Releasing a big sigh out of your body, you were glad that the day was really over.

It was soon evening and it was time for you to end work. You were packing up your stuff when Friday informed you that you were wanted in the Avengers’ private quarters.

Wondering what it could be about, you swiftly made your way there. You were then greeted with the sight of Wanda and Bucky making dinner while everyone was waiting at the table.

“Y/N!” You first hear Ro’s voice before you even entered the room. The rest followed in their greetings. The smell of food immediately drew you to heading over to where the chefs were.

“Food smells so good.” Taking a deep inhale, the smell of home cook food was starting to make you growl with hunger.

“Perfect, cause it’s for you.” Natasha remarked as she was helping to set the table.

“For me?” You asked excitedly as you placed your things down and went ahead to stand beside Wanda as she was stirring something in a pot.

“Tony had to go home to take care of Morgan but he told us what you did for us today.” Natasha continued saying.

“It was nothing. Just part of my job.” You tried waving it off casually as Wanda offered you a taste test of the soup she made. You gave her a look like you were in love as the soup tasted so so good.

“Bucky is making your favourite. Mac and cheese.” You could die on the spot as mac and cheese was your ultimate comfort food. You peeked out behind Wanda’s silhouette to look at Bucky earnestly topping different layers of cheese on the macaroni.

You bit your lip, debating privately on which sight was more delicious? Stop it, Y/N. You chided yourself. This was highly inappropriate. Bucky looked up from his cooking to meet your gaze and you decided to give him an appreciative smile. “Thank you. That’s so sweet of you.

“It’s nothing.” His voice was low and muffled and sexy, oh my god, you needed to control yourself. Bucky’s entire being was doing things to your insides.

Soon, dinner was ready to be served and everyone gathered around the communal table. Everyone started digging in and fell into conversation immediately. As everyone was having second rounds, Natasha who was sitting across you spoke up.

“So how do you think the assessment went?” Natasha asked you with a curious gleam in her eye, as if she was expecting something.

“It was good, I think we can expect good results. Teddy really seemed impressed by what we have here.” Your friends nodded as they listened to your answer.

“Or more specifically, he’s impressed by what we have here.” Ro looked at you with an all-knowing grin.

“Ro! Teddy and I are old friends but college besides that would have been entirely inappropriate. He’s here to do his job.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time someone mixed work and pleasure.” Sam sent you a smug look as he wriggled his eyebrows. You scoffed at what he was insinuating and shook your head while reaching out for a glass of water.

“So?” Natasha drawled out the word as she asked. You made a frowning-confused face and tilted your head to signal for her to continue. “That’s it?”

You knew exactly where she was steering to in the conversation and you could back out of it, but you knew she will stop at nothing to get answers out of someone. Placing down your cup, you let out an exhale as you held onto your temple as if you had a headache.

“Teddy asked me out.” You weren’t surprised when your friends let out gasps at your revelation. Well more so on the girls and perhaps Sam. Vision, Steve and Bucky had neutral expressions worn on their faces.

“Please, are you really surprise?” Your eyes averted to the girls who seemed more excited at what you had just revealed.

“I’m surprise he got the balls even. He might have gained some respect from me.” Natasha coolly remarked as she took another bite of her food. Such savagery….

“Hey, Teddy is not so bad!” You protested.

“You gained a soft spot for him?” Natasha calmly quipped back.

“Come on, I’ve been friends with him throughout college. He is odd at times but he’s harmless.”

“Like a Teddy bear?” Sam chimed in. His words gained many laughter and he even tried giving high-fives to show off his wit.

“I’m not going to talk to you people if you’re going on like this!” You threatened to back out of the room. Pulling your chair out, you started to clean your own dish and you could hear the rest of the group continued on their chatter. You could hear Steve reprimanding the rest like a disappointed parent at his kids’ behaviour.

Bless Steve.

As you returned to the table, Natasha spoke up again. “So are you going to say yes to the date?” You knew everyone could sense your hesitation and your eyes went to Bucky who had a passive expression on his face. Oh god….

“I don’t know, Nat.”

“What do you mean know?” Ro continued. “He’s not expecting you to go on a date to get a better assessment, is he? If not, I WILL-” Ro went on to mimic a punching gesture with both hands and Steve had to calm her by pressing down on both her hands.

“Yo Y/N. That won’t be cool, I’mma also-” Sam went on to make his own gesture of beating Teddy to a pulp. Steve once shook his head at the immaturity of his friends but he held a serious look as he turned to you. He was indeed worried if it was really the case.

“No-no, Teddy wouldn’t. He said it’s not like that. He just wants to reconnect.” You tried to calm your two rather rash (but loyal) friends.

“Do you want to?” This time Wanda was the one who spoke up. Taking a moment to seriously think about it, you figured what was the harm on going on one date with Teddy? Would it really be that bad? If you don’t feel the same way, you could always settle it there and then.

Why were you denying yourself at a chance at love again? You figured it you could start dating again. “Maybe. I don’t know. I should try, should I? It’s been awhile….”

“Listen to your heart, sweetie.” Wanda reached out to hold your hand dearly. You smile gratefully at her support.

“I will think about it, anyways I told him I will give him an answer once this is over. So I still have time.” You said to reassure your friends. You tried redirecting the conversation away from this topic and continued to spend a little more time with your friends.

Bucky Barnes tried his hardest all evening to not falter. Hearing that agent had asked you out stirred up some emotions within him. He realised you were not going to be available forever. An amazing woman like you will catch the eyes of other and eventually they will make a move to ask you out.

Bucky caught Steve glancing over at him. Even without talking, he knew what his friend was trying to tell him. Go for her before you lose your chance, punk! Steve while terrible with dealing with women except for his own girlfriend was not stupid. He was still able to read the room and more importantly, his childhood friend.

Steve always had his suspicions. He noticed how Bucky’s eyes fleet to you immediately when you entered the room and how they lingered too long for it to be a normal behaviour. Bucky was eager to greet for you even if it didn’t look like it. Bucky while accustomed to the team, was still reserved with strangers.

Steve could see that Bucky was always conscious of how he acted around you. You might not have noticed but Bucky always tried to look out for you in his own subtle way. Perhaps, it was not easy for his best friend who sometimes remained in the dark shadows of his thoughts, believing that he did not deserve to be happy with someone because of his past.

Steve knew Bucky wants to be loved by someone special and that he deserved to be loved. He just wants this punk to not sit around and wait any longer.

You decided to call it a night and wanted to return home. The girls were whining for you to stay and asked why you could not stay at the compound for good. There were plenty of rooms in the private quarters for you to call your own.

You refused, saying that you deserved your own quiet space away from dealing with this chaotic energy (referring to the team). Ro protested at your words but you just laughed it off and bid farewell to everyone.

Steve looked over to Bucky and with the power of eye contact and practically 90 over years of friendship, signalled non-verbally to Bucky that he should take action. Wanda’s voice popped up and stated that you had forgotten your car keys on the counter.

Raising his hand up, Steve indicated for Wanda to pass it over to him. Wanda gave him a smirk before using her powers to push the keys onto Bucky. Steve gave an approving nod at what she did and both people turned to Bucky to give him a ‘what are you waiting for?’ look.

Clutching the car keys in his hands, Bucky got out of his seat and gingerly made his way to the garage. He took in deep breaths as he quickened his steps in hopes of catching up to you.

Luckily, you were not far along and heading for the elevator. He called for your name and you were surprised to see him. Bucky took the last few steps to face you and he look down on the ground for a moment to adjust himself.

“You forgot your keys.” He started off nervously as he stretched out his hands to pass it to you. Your mouth made an ‘o’ shape as you realised why he even came up to you in the first place. You let out a nervous laugh and took it from him, not forgetting to thank him as well.

“It’s nothing.” Bucky replied. Silence followed with awkward tension.

“I gotta go, can’t wait to be back in bed.” You tried to break the silence. There was another pregnant pause and you chided yourself for even trying. This was going nowhere.

“Yes, you had a long day.” Bucky tried coming up with another response. No use forcing it, this was even more awkward than the time Teddy confessed to you. You heart sank in disappointment. Should you even try? Were you willing to give it up before giving it a try with Bucky?

Bucky’s movement snapped you out of your inner thoughts as he began to make his way back. He gave you a once over and nodded to bid you goodbye once more.

The words were at the tip of your tongue. You wondered if you should-

“Hey Bucky.”

Bucky stopped in his tracks and immediately turned his body back to face you. What could you possibly call him for? He made his way back to you and stood face to face to you. His eyes bore into yours and you had to take a gulp before gathering courage to speak.

“Should I go?” Your question caused Bucky to be all confused and you then realised you weren’t clear enough.

“Should I go on the date with Teddy?” While your question was indirect, but you were hoping he got the drift. If he liked you any one bit, he would not let you go on the date. If he had any ounce of interest in you, he would stop you right?

Your held strong eye contact with him, trying to gauge his feelings through non-verbal cues as you figured he was trying to come up with an answer. Seconds felt like hours, he did not give you an answer.

You let out a low chuckle. What an idiot you must have sound like? Why would Bucky care about your date at all?

“I’m sorry. I’m asking stupid questions. Goodnight Bucky.” You made your way to press the elevator and stood right in front of the lift. You hoped Bucky would just leave and save yourself from more humiliation.

As your elevator came to your floor, you were going to take one step in when you felt a hand grabbing onto your wrist. You turned to see Bucky with a slightly panicked look on his face.

“Don’t go.” You scrunched your face into a confused expression as you tried to understand what he meant. His next words caused your heart to skip a beat and the corners of your lips to move up.

“Don’t go on that date with him.”

———————————————————————

Hello my readers! You didn’t think this was the end, did you? Thanks for sticking till this end of this long ass one-shot!

Here’s the bonus epilogue for this story.

You sat in the corner of a café that you looked up online. It was a third-generation family business that had the best pastries in New York. You pick on the loose threads of your yellow gingham midi dress as you waited for your date.

The bell of the café rung to signal the arrival of a new customer. You looked up to see a man in a dark outfit of black and blue. Black jacket over a blue t-shirt and dark washed out jeans. He was wearing a glove on his left hand and an eager smile on his face.

Bucky made his way towards you and first complimented on how beautiful you looked. You returned the same compliment and ravelled in how he easily embarrassed he was at the slightest praise.

The two of you went ahead to the counter, picking out a few sweet treats and two iced coffee. When your order was set on the table, you went ahead to cut a slice of cake and offered to him first.

Bucky eagerly took it and your heart melted at the bashful boyish grin he donned. The two of you fell into an easy conversation and you brought up something on your mind.

“These pastries are so good; we should get some more and you can bring it back for the rest of the team.” Bucky nodded in agreement as he took a sip of his drink.

“You know, Natasha had something to do with bringing Teddy in that day.” Your statement had Bucky’s attention on you. “Yeah, she told me a few days after. Trust her to use her skills to do something like that.” You laughed before continuing explaining.

Apparently, Natasha had a hand in making sure Teddy replaced his colleague for the assessment that very day. When questioned if she had any intention to bring you and Teddy together in the first place, she laughed and shook her head. She always intended for this plan to push you and Bucky towards the right direction.

She believed that if Bucky realised you cannot always be there and will eventually end up with someone else possibly, he will stop being in denial. Bucky commented that Natasha truly was a work of wonder and said that he was eternally grateful for her intervention.

Bucky reached over to hold your hand with this flesh hand but you went ahead to also grab his gloved vibranium hand too. It was your way of telling him that you accepted him whole-heartedly and loved him very much.

Bucky brought both your hands up to place multiple kisses and tell you how he really felt. He knew he shouldn’t hold back his feelings anymore and that you deserved to know how important you are to him.

“Doll, you’re the best thing that happened to me.”

———————————————————————

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #376

“when the wind bends the branch to softly touch me  /  when the band plays your song  /  i feel strong enough to keep dreaming”

If your s/o smoked pot/did drugs would you care? Yes, but for pot that's only because it's illegal here. I also find smoking to be a turn-off, but I'd be able to look past that if it was for actual health reasons. Do people ever call you by your last name? No. Has the last person you dated/fell in love with ever seen you cry? Yes. Where are you going on your next vacation (or where do you WANT to go)? I've got none planned, nor do I know where I'd want to prioritize. Like there's South Africa, but I first need to get healthier before I could handle the heat and trudging through sand. I want to go to Yellowstone National Park to spread Teddy's ashes there (seeking permission of course), but again, I need to be in better shape before I go on a venture of photographing there, as well. I need to be healthier to do a lot of the things I want to... Do you own anything bought in another country? No. Who do you text the most? Sara. Four things you wish you had? Better health (including mental), financial stability, a job, and motivation to indulge more in my artistic hobbies. What was the last thing you cried about? Stress regarding this dog we're stuck with. What is your favorite Elvis song? Probably "You're The Devil In Disguise." Do you think you could be the next American Idol? Ha, absolutely not. Do you prefer reading fiction or non-fiction? Fiction, by a long shot. Does anybody send you money in the mail for your birthday? No. My grampa used to, but he's been dead a couple years. Who is one person you met and automatically didn’t like? I was not a fan of a doctor I once saw for my tremors. She was very rude and just threw the idea of me having Parkinson's or something at what, 17 years old or whatever? My psychiatrist knows her as well and knows she's a whackjob. Heard her name and was essentially like "ew" lmao. What monster would you be most afraid to have in your closet? A male one with a knife, I guess. I really hate knives. And men scare me anyway. Which Adam Sandler movie do you like the most? I don't know, he's in too many to possibly think of one right off the top of my head. Who was one of your first celebrity crushes? Jesse McCartney was my first true love, haha. Have you ever been hit on through text messages? Yes. Do you have to do any yard work? No. Have you ever mowed the lawn? No. Do you get an allowance? No. Did you ever know your great grandparents? I think I knew one? There was this woman from my childhood I knew as "GG" for "great grandma," but I have no recollection of who she was related to or even if she was directly related to me. I remember that I really really liked her, though. Do you like the taste of Tums? It's the texture I really don't like. The candy-like Tums though, y'know, not the chalky ones, I like more than someone should like medicine, haha. How about Pepto Bismol? Omfg no. Do you have a fast or slow metabolism? I have a slow metabolism, but thank Christ it's not as bad as when I was on Abilify. That stupid fucking medicine was the reason I gained so much weight that I haven't been able to lose. What’s your favorite onomatopoeia? (Crash, bang, zoom, meow) I dunno. Do you eat ramen? There's only one specific kind of ramen I've had that I like: Yakisoba's spicy chicken one. Sweet or regular pickles? Regular. I don't like sweet pickles. What kind of dreams do you have most often? Since my nightmares started, violent ones. I'm usually trying to defend myself or lashing out at someone myself. What do you do for personal growth? I try to be a deep thinker, for one. This can way too easily lead to overthinking, but I appreciate that I think it at least helps me learn from my mistakes and work towards making me a better person. I need to start challenging my anxiety more, as that would definitely be massive growth... If you could read anyone’s mind, who would be the first person you’d read? Jason's, only because all I want to know is if he thinks I was emotionally abusive after the breakup or not. But I also don't want to know. Do you have a makeup item or style trick that you feel improves your look significantly and that you feel like you couldn’t go without now that you have it? No. What’s your favourite cereal? Probably Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but I like a lot of cereals. Do you prefer red wine or white wine? I don't like wine. Way too bitter. Do you read Reddit? If so, how often and what subreddits do you like? I don't, but I've thought about lurking on a reptile husbandry one or something like that. Might learn some stuff. But at the same time, there are so many conflicting and very strong opinions amongst hobbyists to the point of awful toxicity that I'd rather not read. Have you recently broken up with a significant other or even just a friend? No. Have you ever eaten at a restaurant and left without paying? God no. When was the last time you played a board game? What did you play? Probably Scrabble back when Sara visited. Do you primarily use cash or card for your purchases? Why? Cash, because I don't have a debit or credit card. Do you believe sex should be mandatory in an ongoing dating relationship? Um, no? Some people don't care for it, and that's completely fine. Have you ever recorded yourself doing a cover of a song? No. Any secrets you’d never tell anyone? No matter how close they are to you? Yes. Do you like deviled eggs? NO. FUCK that yolk shit. What career are you most interested in? I still think my first career goal, a paleontologist, would be most interesting and exciting. Like just IMAGINE discovering a new dinosaur. And it's such a job of passion - you have to be so, SO careful and invest so much time in slowly recovering it from millions of years of rock and sand and time. I can only imagine the feeling of accomplishment when an excavation is complete. Have you ever seen a rooster? Yeah? What do you think about religion? Honestly, I personally wish it had never been a thing. It's brought with it so much hatred and bigotry, but I do acknowledge at the same time it's brought great comfort and hope to some people, and that's wonderful. But just all things considered, I feel it's done more harm than good. What’s your favorite sweetheart name (baby, honey, angel, dumpling) Probably "lovely." Has a little kid ever fallen asleep on your lap before? Yes, back when I babysat my neighbor's kid once. Have you ever thrown a grenade? Yikes, no. Have you ever talked face to face with someone famous before? No. Have you ever owned a rocking horse? I don't think so? If you could meet anyone in the world who would it be? HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Have you ever wished you were dead? Yes. Is it awkward when people start talking all deep around you? No, I actually like deep convos. Have you ever played the old school Pac Man arcade game? Possibly? Ever played Mario Karts on Nintendo 64? No. Have you ever been scuba diving? No. Can you surf/boogie board? No. Do you like Chinese food, Mexican food, or American food better? American. What’s your favorite thing to order from Taco Bell? Cheese quesadilla and fiesta potatos. Sometimes I get the cinnabon delight thingies, but I avoid 'em with how unhealthy they are. Do you like hot, cold, or lukewarm showers? Pretty hot. Do you like to swing? I LOVED swinging as a kid. I haven't done it in a very long time now. How about jumping on a trampoline? I loved that as a kiddo, too. I haven't done that in years. What are you favorite color eyes? Sapphire blue or like an emerald green. Do you have long arm hair? Nah, at least I don't think so. What third generation console is your favorite? PS3, Xbox 360, or Wii? I loved my PS3. I'm still so bummed mine broke. How often do you like to have sex? I'm not sexually active, but even when I was, I didn't care. Do you have a facial expression you seem to pull a lot? What is it? Not really. I think I look stoic most of the time. Do you always listen to music when you’re online? No; I usually have a let's play or something like that on that I can split my screen and watch while doing something else. If so, what are you currently listening to? I'm listening to "Love Goes On And On" by Lindsey Stirling and Amy Lee right now. Do you ever forget how to do really simple things? Like what? Yes, like how to control the laundry machine and other things like that. There's just so many options that I never, ever remember what to set it to, no matter how many times Mom shows me. That's how my memory is with most things these days, really... Were you born with naturally straight teeth? No; I needed braces. If you were the opposite gender, what name would you like to be called? Uhhh maybe Severin. Do you prefer original or sour Skittles? I love both, but sour wins. What about chocolate or peanut M&M’s? I also enjoy both, but the original are better. Your favourite band: Do you prefer their old or new stuff? That's like... impossible to answer, lol. I just love everything. Do you check to make sure your ear phones are going in the right ear? No. Do you secretly still listen to Ace of Base? I have no idea who that is. Have you ever broken someone else’s bone? No, thank goodness. I'd feel awful. Is it stupid to think you can write a book at thirteen? No?????????? There are incredibly talented writers out there at young ages. Hell, I remember as a kid, I wanted to be the youngest published author way before that age. Are you ever embarrassed about what you dream about? There've been some I wouldn't share. Have you ever had sex with someone as a favor? No, and I never would. Does your mom let you date? I'm 25, my dude. She let me when I felt ready, though. If you had the last person you kissed’s Facebook password, would you go snooping through their stuff? Why or why not? She doesn't have one, but hypothetically, fuck no. Because that's none of my damn business, and it still wouldn't be even if we were still dating. Have you ever fainted? If so, when was the last time? If not have you ever come close? I've fainted once when I was a teen and have come close many other times. Ever take a keyboarding class? Do you type using the skills you learned in class, or how you used to before you took the class? Yeah; it was mandatory for I think one year in middle school. I type how I was taught in there. Do you find your best friend’s significant other/crush attractive? She doesn't have an s/o, and idk who her "real" crush is, as much as she'd love Frieza to be real, haha. What do you do with your clothes that don’t fit anymore or just don’t want? Donate them. Do you cut out coupons? My mom will keep some fast food ones she gets in the mail sometimes. Did you ever breathe in helium and talk funny afterwards? I think I did once at a birthday party, but I'm unsure. Would you ever open your own business? If so, what kind of business could you imagine yourself having? I want to be a freelance photographer so, so badly. I want to specialize in nature and wildlife, but having a boudoir studio would be great to help keep me afloat, plus I adore the art of boudoir. I've shot it once for an old friend, and by god, I loved how empowered it made her feel, especially as a plus-sized woman. She adored the pictures, and I'd just love to help other clients feel like they're gorgeous in their unique body, too. Last type of candy you ate? I had a donut from Starbuck's yesterday. Did you decorate your house for Halloween? If so, how many decorations? Did you go all out, or just put up a few things? Mom and I don't really decorate anymore. :/