#i was in the library studying with ryan and then he was like 'left'

[linaslore]

r.a. | you can hear it in the silence (one-shot)

a/n: not sure how many fans of the oc are left here, but i've been watching it recently and i became obsessed with this cutie (if you haven't watched the show, wtf are you waiting for????). anyways i started writing this as something entirely different, but then it didn't convince me so i rewrote it. i also think this is the longest piece i've written so far.

warnings: mature themes: mentions of assault, death, anxiety; language, credits to the gif owner! not really proofread.

summary: you had moved to newport recently and after a horrible situation with your ex-boyfriend, ryan swooped in and saved the day. you can imagine the rest.

ryan atwood x f!reader [strangers to friends to lovers]

🚫do NOT copy, translate or put my work thru an AI.

Ryan sighed to himself as he exited the pool house. He needed some silence to study for upcoming tests and, unfortunately he wasn’t going to get it with Seth right there talking his ears off about his latest drama. Although his quirky, talkative, and awkward personality had weirded him out at first, he learned to appreciate his friendship – but sometimes, like now, he could get insufferable. So, he grabbed his bike and headed to the school library.

He didn’t really feel like listening to Seth rambling about the new chapter of the Summer/Anna novel. He had a lot on his plate already, especially regarding his relationship with Marissa. It’s been a couple of days, but he still hasn’t recovered from all the chaos that Oliver brought into their lives. Thinking back about it all – how many times he had warned her (and everyone) that there was something off about that guy, only to have his concerns brushed aside – was enough to stir anger and frustration deep inside of him. He still couldn’t believe that Luke, of all people, had been the only one to back him up and had seen through Oliver’s web of lies almost as quickly as he did. And that was why he couldn’t date Marissa again – not yet, at least. Every time he looked at her, that pang of betrayal and resentment flared in his chest, refusing to go away.

Once he arrived at the library, he remembered he had to grab a history book for an assignment on World War II, so he rummaged through the shelves until he found it. However, he encountered something else. Or rather, he heard something that called his attention. He followed the track of voices until, in a secluded corner of the library, he saw a boy and a girl talking far too close for a casual conversation. At first, he thought about leaving the two of you alone – it was common knowledge that lots of couples used this library as a secret make-out spot, but, as the saying goes, curiosity killed the cat, so he ended up hanging around, hidden by one of the bookshelves. The girl turned her face over where he was standing, and he recognized her from school. You two had never actively exchanged words, but you had shared a few classes at Harbor School.

“Come on, doll”, the guy sneered, trapping your body between his and the wall of books behind you. You took a deep breath, wishing this interaction would end as soon as possible. “I missed you. I couldn’t believe you left without telling me.” His hands landed on the bookshelves, one on either side of your head, boxing you in.

“Jake, please, go away”, you pleaded in a defeated whispering tone but he didn’t seem to care at all.

“Now that I found you, I was thinking we could go to a motel. I saw one on the way out of the city”, he said leaning his lips closer to yours. “And, you know…”, the smile he gave you made your stomach churn. You felt you could throw up right there – not only because of the situation, but also because his breath smelled terribly. Before you could shove him away, he started kissing your neck with roughness.

That was Ryan’s cue to leave the two of you alone. Even though he couldn’t make out what you were saying, he had no interest in sticking around for what was about to happen. 

That was until he heard you scream and froze on his tracks.

“No! Get off me, you prick!” you yelled, struggling against him. Sadly, he didn’t even move an inch because he was stronger than you. Time seemed to stop at that moment and all you could manage to do was screaming. “Stop, please! Let me go!”

“The less you resist, the better, baby”, he grabbed you by your chin and you closed your eyes and your mouth into a thin line, imploring the ground to swallow you whole. “You might end up enjoying it.”

And just when you were about to give in, you felt a strong force yank Jake away from you. You opened your eyes slowly, too scared to move any other inch of your body and there he was.. your savior. Ryan Atwood. You knew him from school; you have crossed paths once or twice. Turning your head to the other side, you saw Jake sprawled on the floor.

“She said no”, he spoke slowly, but with a steady and threatening tone. If looks could kill, Jake would be burning alive. Ryan was slightly shorter than Jake but his toned physique made him look unshakable.

The tension in the air was thick, almost suffocating – like the humid air on a rainy summer day in Newport. You stood frozen in your place, unsure whether to move or speak, but Jake beat you to it.

“Who the hell are you, dude?” Jake retorted, getting back up on his feet. Ryan didn’t even flinch. “She’s MY girl and I can do whatever I want with her.” Most girls read these types of lines in books and think they’re sexy, but this was so not the case. Jake said it in the most disgustingly creepy and possessive way. “Besides, she has been begging for it… I mean, have you seen that skirt?”, he pointed his index finger at your bare legs, causing you to look down at your outfit and feel very self-conscious. “It’s basically screaming ‘Fuck me, I’m a slut’ all over this fucking place.”

“All right.”, Ryan nodded and clenched his fists. He wasted no time in delivering one single powerful punch to Jake’s face. The latter walked backwards, letting out a groan and grabbed his now bleeding nose. The blond jabbed his index finger at him. “Don’t even think of saying or doing anything to her ever again, you heard me? Or next time I won’t be so nice and I’ll kick your ass until you can’t walk. You understand?”

You were afraid that Jake was going to hit Ryan back – you could practically see the idea flash across his mind for a split second. However, he decided against it and then his eyes darted between you and Ryan before storming off the library.

You let out a deep breath, not realizing you have been holding it all along.

Ryan turned his frame towards you and for the first time your eyes locked. You hadn’t imagined they would be this blue – just as pretty as the ocean.

“You ok? Did he hurt you?”, he asked while scanning you with a hint of concern.

“I’m good now”, you gave him a weak smile. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, sure. Anytime”, he replied and started looking anywhere but your face as his regular awkwardness started to creep in. “Well…”, he cleared his throat. “Guess I’ll see you around", the right side of his mouth quirked up in a half smile and then he stuffed his hands into his pockets.

But as he began to walk away from you, an inner voice urged you not to let him go so easily. “Ryan?…Wait!”

He stopped on his tracks and turned around slowly, with a confused look on his face.

“I don’t wanna take up much more of your time but thank you… really”, you said the first thing that came to your brain. “You didn’t have to step in, you know? But I’m glad you did. So, yeah, thank you for saving me. That’s it”, you concluded your small rambling. It’s one of the things you did when you got nervous.

Ryan shrugged his shoulders with a carefree expression. “No worries really”. You noticed how his usual tough demeanor softened just a bit and how he gave you a faint grin. “Apparently, this is becoming my specialty these days.”

You let out a rather loud laugh at his comment because you weren’t expecting Ryan Atwood to crack a joke around you. You have heard stuff around school about what happened with Marissa, Oliver and him, so you had a feeling that it had to do with that. His lips curved into a toothless but sweet smile and then he made a goodbye gesture with his right hand and exited the library.

You stood there for a couple of more seconds, not fully believing what had happened. Then, you shook your head, grabbed your backpack and left this place as well.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Next Monday, you spotted Ryan sitting at the school cafeteria, focused on reading a book and scribbling notes. You debated whether you should approach him or not. You wanted to thank him once again and, if you were being honest, you wouldn’t mind getting to know him. He seemed really nice despite his tough and mysterious demeanor and also, he had recently joined the Newport community just like you, so you felt you had a bonding point there. You decided your next move was to buy two black coffees and made your way to where he was sitting.

“Hi”, you greeted him as you placed the drink on the table, careful not to spill anything on his stuff.

“Oh, hi”, he recognized you from the other day at the library, but you could see a hint of confusion in his eyes.

“I brought you coffee… as a thank you gift”, you pointed to the cup in front of him. “Hope you like black coffee, or americano, as people like to call it here”, you frowned your eyebrows.

“Yeah, I do”, he let out a small laugh. “You shouldn’t have, you know?”

You shrugged your shoulders, telling him it was the least you could do. 

“Thanks”, he grabbed the cup and brought it to his lips, sipping slowly in case it was hot.

“Uhm, do you mind if I sit here? I've got a free period now.”

“No, of course not”, he gestured to you to take the seat in front of him and you gladly did so. 

After taking everything you needed from your backpack and setting it on the table so you could review for your biology class, you started reading your notes. However, the minutes were passing by and your attention kept diverting to the boy in front of you. While finishing your own coffee cup, you found yourself stealing subtle glances at him, not wanting him to notice you were staring – and if he did notice, he was good at pretending he didn’t. He kept his eyes focused on the book and his notes, apparently not interested in making any conversation.

You knew he wasn’t the talkative type. You have seen him once or twice in the school corridors with Seth Cohen and it was obvious who wore the pants, conversation-wise at least. Seth would be animated, gesturing wildly, jumping from a topic to the other. Ryan, on the other hand, would simply listen quietly and at times, he would look confused, as if trying to follow Seth’s train of thoughts, but failing miserably. Other times, he would slightly narrow down his eyes, silently questioning himself whether Seth’s stories were worth the effort to untangle. And yet, there was a flicker of patience in his expression and always managed to find a witty remark, which resulted in Cohen scoffing.

Just as you were thinking of a question to ask him to break the ice, the school bell rang and he looked up, closing his book and grabbing the rest of his stuff.

“Sorry, I gotta go to class now, but thanks for the coffee”, he smiled at you one last time, not really waiting for your response, and got up to exit the cafeteria.

You stared at the empty spot where he had been sitting, feeling a mix of confusion and disappointment settled over you. So much for wanting to get to know him… You let out a deep breath and grabbed your pen, forcing yourself to continue working on the summary of types of cells of the human body.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

In the days that followed, your interactions with Ryan remained minimal: a casual ‘Good morning’ when you entered the same classroom or a faint smile you’d give him from the opposite cafeteria table in those rare occasions when his eyes would meet yours. He was always looking down, focused on a book or playing with his food; or even when talking to Seth, he was always lost in his own world. Some days, you’d seen him exchange a few words with Marissa Cooper, but that was it.

You started believing he didn’t really care about making new friends. You didn’t take it personally though; he came from Chino and that wasn’t a great place to grow up. He seemed like the type who learned the hard way not to trust people so easily. And you had a doctorate on that topic, coming from a similar town. You were too familiar with building up invisible walls around yourself as a coping mechanism to avoid getting hurt. 

And then, there was the world of Newport itself – so polished, so privileged, so alien to all your previous life experiences. Therefore, you couldn’t really blame him for not wanting to make a connection with people that made you feel out of place, whether they wanted it or not. Still, you wanted to show him you were not one of those people. You saw pieces of yourself in the way he carried himself and perhaps that’s why there was something inside of you saying you couldn’t give up that easily. 

So, against all odds, you found yourself seeking out opportunities to spend time with him, hoping to break through his quiet and lonely demeanor. Every time you approached him at the cafeteria to spend your lunch break together and try to spark some casual conversation, he wouldn’t brush you off but his responses were politely short and hurried, no matter how much effort you put into finding topics you might have in common. In class, he didn’t seem to mind if you sat next to him. Some other times, you’d accidentally meet him at the library with the pretext of needing something that you actually didn’t.

However, after all the silent looks, shrugs, or the one-word responses, you started questioning if your attempts to befriend him were a mistake. Perhaps you were in the wrong. Maybe you had read too much into the day he saved you from Jake – maybe he just did that out of common courtesy.

So eventually, you started letting him go slowly; you didn’t wanna be a bother to him. You stopped seeking him out at lunch as often: you chose instead to sit with other people or sometimes you’d eat on your own. Whenever you did sit together in the classroom or at the library, you adopted a more reserved demeanor, not engaging much in conversations or just giving him a faint smile as a response.

And Ryan.. at first he felt indifferent at your change of attitude. He was used to being alone, to mind his own business. It was a lot simpler that way. He already had Seth, Marissa, Luke and even Summer and that was enough friendships for a lifetime in his books.

Or that’s what he thought…

After a couple of days, he started acknowledging the gaps you had left behind. He’d find himself scanning the school cafeteria, his food tray in his hands, trying to spot you. He couldn’t actually explain the pang of something he felt on his chest whenever he saw you talking or laughing with your other classmates. Or the smile you evoked on him whenever he came across at your cute concentration pout while reading a book or writing something on your notebook. Even the library seemed too quiet and empty. 

It wasn’t until the following weeks that he finally realized he missed you – even if he would never admit that outloud. It happened while he was hanging out with Seth in his room; he was rambling on about a comic he’d just finished reading, but Ryan’s thoughts kept diverting to you for some reason. He found himself thinking about what you could be doing at that moment and he kinda looked forward to the next day so he could see you at school. And that was when the truth hit him. However, you weren’t giving much more than the time of the day, so he had to do something to get you to talk to him or at least acknowledge his existence. 

The next day, in an effort to make amends for his past behaviour, he sought you out after the science class. He found you at your locker carefully tucking some notebooks, pens and your algebra manual inside your backpack. He didn’t put much more thought into his plan and walked towards you before he could get second thoughts.

You, on the other hand, were pretty much into your own head so the gentle tap on your shoulder made you jump slightly. But then, fear was replaced by surprise when you saw who it was. A rush of energy ran through your body. What was he doing here?

“Hi, Y/N”, Ryan started talking, as awkward as ever, and cleared his throat, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “Uhm, I’m struggling with the analysis of To Kill a Mockingbird that Mr. Brown asked… would you mind helping me?”

It was a flat-out lie. Ryan had finished the assignment this weekend, but he needed an excuse to talk to you so that’s the best he could come up with. He distinctly remembered you mentioning once that Literature was your favorite subject, and although he hadn’t gone out of his way to interact with you before, he actually had listened to everything you’ve said to him. It’s just dawned on him now how much he did.

The surprise still lingered on your face for a couple of seconds, but almost instinctively, a smile formed on your lips. “Of course.”, the warmth in your voice caught him off guard. “Let’s meet at the library after school”, you gave him a quick wink and then gently closed your locker before heading off to your Maths class. Ryan was left standing in the middle of the corridor with a wide smile plastered on his face and a sense of relief rushed through him, assuring him that everything would be all right.

And that was the day where your friendship with Ryan Atwood finally began.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

It was safe to say that Ryan and you became attached by the hip. You spent every chance you’d get together, but it wasn’t forced or anything like that – you simply gravitated towards each other naturally. No excuses or plans were needed.

Some afternoons when the weather was nicely warm, you’d go to the beach and share some sandwiches while you chatted about whatever came to your minds. You learned a lot about him, his life in Chino, his rough childhood, his early days in Newport, as well as his relationship with the Cohens and with Marissa. And, then, of course, he asked about you. You used to live in a town called Riverside with your mom but then she died in a car accident, and given that your dad has been MIA since you were born, your aunt Rachel became your legal guardian so you ended up moving to Newport with her. You also shared the story of Jake and you: long story short, at first you liked him because he was ‘a bit older and cooler’ but as you started hanging out with him, you realized he was bad news. Ryan gave you an apologetic smile, and you said it was ok, that you couldn’t really complain about your life here and that the quality of your friendships has clearly improved. He turned his head to the side and laughed but actually he wanted to hide the fact that his cheeks grew redder.

Some mornings, you’d join Ryan and his group of friends for breakfast at the Pier Diner. The first time oyu did so, you were worried that you were going to intrude, but Ryan assured you they were going to love you. Naturally, Seth did most of the talking, and that helped take some pressure off your shoulders. Watching him and Summer bickering was pretty amusing as well. You did receive some weird looks from Marissa but you decided to ignore her and keep enjoying the best pancakes you’ve ever tasted so far. Besides, Ryan had intertwined his hand with yours under the table to secretly show his support. You could say without a doubt that your heart stopped for a few seconds.

Some evenings, you’d wander aimlessly through the centric lanes, lost in your own little world. What seemed funny to you about your bond with Ryan was that although you shared really interesting conversations, you also found comfort in silence; you just simply enjoyed each other’s company. His presence soothed you in ways you could not explain – he made you feel peaceful and protected like you haven’t felt in a long time. One particular night, you were walking side by side while eating ice cream and you started feeling colder because the weather had dropped a few degrees compared to the warm afternoon so obviously you didn’t think it was necessary to bring a jacket but at that moment you cursed yourself mentally for not checking the forecast before going out. Ryan seemed to notice how you began to rub your arm with your free hand to get some warmth and how your lips adopted a purplish shade. (Not that he had already looked at your lips before. Or perhaps yes he did) So, he decided to take off his leather jacket and put it around your shoulders, causing you to sigh from relief. He was wearing a long-sleeved shirt under it, so he would be fine. Without hesitation, you gave him a quick peck on his cheek to thank him and continued walking while you finished your ice cream cone. You probably did this without even realizing it, but Ryan had thought about that interaction for the days that followed and it never failed to make him smile.

The next day was a Saturday so you didn’t have school but you still had to run some errands for your aunt. You took advantage of the fact that you had to go out of your house and you stopped by at the Cohen’s house to return Ryan’s jacket. The previous night, you were so comfortable on it that you forgot to take it off when he walked you to your front door. And you figured he didn’t mind you having it either, but still. He wasn’t at home, but Seth was more than happy to pass the message along.

So, when Ryan came back, he was already waiting for him at the pool house.

“So, your new BFF dropped this off earlier”, Seth said, lifting the jacked with his index finger. “Care to explain what’s happening?”

“What’s happening with what?”, Ryan retorted, taking the jacket from Seth’s hand and putting it away in his wardrobe.

“Oh, come on, dude! What’s the deal with Y/N?”, he gestured widely, his movements too exaggerated. 

“There is no deal. We’re just... hanging out”, Ryan sat on the armchair opposite the bed.

“Oh, yeah, sure”, he continued and rolled his eyes “Because ‘just hanging out' involves spending every minute together, eating meals together, holding hands under the table – yeah, I saw that at the Diner – and emotionally charged silences”, he made a dramatic short pause. “That, my brother, is dating in my books”, he opened his arms as if he had just dropped a microphone. “I’m sure Romeo and Juliet’s epic love story started just like that.”

“Pretty sure that’s not how it went”, Ryan muttered slowly and then shook his head. “And we’re not dating. We haven’t even kissed yet.

“Aha!”, Seth exclaimed and got up quickly, pointing at his friend. “So you admit you want a kiss to happen…”

“I didn’t say…”, Ryan started, but he stopped himself, letting out a heavy sigh. He realized there was no escaping this conversation “I don’t know, she’s just someone I like hanging out with, She’s... easy to be around.”

“Someone hand me a tissue please. This is the most heartfelt declaration of love I’ve heard”, Seth quipped, pretending to wipe a tear from his eye. Ryan frowned and threw a pillow right on Seth’s forehead. “Easy there, Chino boy; no need to get violent… Look, I get it…”, he added, his tone softening, and sat right back on the bed. “She’s different from you-know-who.”

“And your point is?”, Ryan asked. Although he already knew who he was talking about, he just wasn’t following the connection between you and Marissa. 

He earned another eye roll from the youngest Cohen.

“That you don’t have anything to prove around her. She’s not some test or some impossible standard you feel like you need to live up to. You can just be yourself freely around her."

Ryan would never say it out loud, but what Seth said made sense. When he dated Marissa, he truly loved her, but it felt like he was constantly walking a tightrope—proving he wasn’t the bad guy, trying to win over her family, playing with fire just to get her out of any kind of trouble. And in the end, where did that get him? Absolutely nowhere except Pain and Heartbreak city.

"And as unbelievable as this sounds, because, trust me, I’m just as shocked as anyone else, she likes you for you".

“And how exactly do you know she likes me? Were you bitten by a radioactive spider and developed psychic abilities when I wasn’t looking?”

"Okay, first off, if I had superpowers, I’d definitely use them to swing my way back into Summer’s good graces. Second, I don’t need any arachnid senses, Ryan. It’s called observation. Trust me, the signs are about as subtle as the flashing neon billboards in Times Square."

Ryan frowned. "Oh, yeah? Well, enlighten me, Sherlock."

Seth straightened up, clearly relishing the moment. "Exhibit A: the way she lights up like a Chrismukkah tree every time you walk into a room? Very telling. Exhibit B: she’ll find literally any excuse to touch you—like that time at the diner when she ‘accidentally’ brushed your arm while reaching for the salt. Like, come on, dude, that’s textbook flirting. And Exhibit C: the other day when we were all hanging out at the pier, you cracked a joke that wasn’t even remotely funny, no offense, but she laughed like it was straight out of a Seinfeld episode. Meanwhile, I’m out here delivering comedic gold on a daily basis, and do I get that kind of reaction from Summer? Of course not. That woman has the emotional range of a brick wall when it comes to humor."

“Ok, yeah, enough irrefutable evidence and references to you and Summer”, he lifted his eyebrows in a sarcastic manner.

"And don't even get me started about you. I never thought I'd live to see the day where the Ryan Atwood gave someone the puppy eyes every time said person entered his field of vision. Honestly, dude, it’s both adorable and mildly terrifying." Ryan scoffed and Seth laughed victoriously. "Accept it, Ryan. I can read you like a comic book. It's all over the place; you two are in loooooove."

“You’re impossible…”, The blond got up from the chair and exited the beach house, leaving Seth alone with his own rambling.

The youngest Cohen watched his friend leave and let out a laugh. “Ah, denial”, he muttered aloud to the empty room. “Stage one of the Ryan Atwood romantic process.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

One not-so-random Saturday, you found yourself at home, pacing the floors with restless energy. Your aunt Rachel, a doctor at the Newport Hospital, had been called to work for an emergency surgery, leaving you alone with the daunting task of keeping yourself occupied. As usual, you had woken up feeling anxious, so you threw yourself into activities to avoid overthinking what day it was.

First, you caught up on your latest homework, then finished the book you'd started a month ago. You even cooked dinner and baked a chocolate loaf cake, despite not having much of an appetite. For a while, it seemed to work. But as the sun set and your body longed for sleep, you lay wide awake in bed, unable to quiet your racing thoughts. No matter how hard you tried, your mind kept circling back to that night — the one when your mum had been taken away from you. The monthly anniversary loomed over you like a shadow, heavy and inescapable. But before letting your emotions drive you to do something you might regret later, you got up from the bed and reached for your phone to call the only person who could truly comfort you in a moment like this. Of course Ryan wasn’t surprised about you calling him; you would talk on the phone quite regularly (Seth would grill him over this as well), but when you invited him over with a hint of sadness in your voice, an alarm triggered inside of him, so he said he would be at your house in a heartbeat.

And as promised, not even 10 minutes after your call, you heard him park the car outside your house. You’d been waiting for him sitting on the sofa so you opened the front door pretty quickly. He took an extra second to take in your outfit. Were you wearing a sweatshirt of his? When have you taken it? And not to mention, the pair of pijama shorts that barely covered your legs. Something stirred inside of him. You brought him back to reality when you greeted him with a hug. It was some seconds longer than those you’d shared in the past. And he also noticed how your eyes lacked their usual spark. This confirmed something was off with you. However, he decided to wait for the right moment to pop the question, or maybe, to wait for you to mention it.

You led him to the living room and picked up the TV remote so you could turn it on and check if there was anything interesting to watch. You dropped onto the sofa and glanced up at him, patting the spot next to you in silent invitation. Ryan couldn’t help feeling thrown off by your strangely composed demeanor, especially after the odd tone of your earlier call. However, he brushed his doubts aside and sat down where you had indicated him. You took the opportunity to scoot closer against him so your side was fully pressed against his and your head rested on his shoulder. Ryan tensed for half a second, unsure of what to do. It’s not like you two haven’t shared hugs or fleeting touches, but this was different. Cuddling was unknown territory. He stole a quick glance at you and, seeing that you didn’t seem troubled by the closeness, he relaxed. A soft breath escaped him as he wrapped an arm around your back. You’d caught him off guard, but the moment felt strangely comforting—like something he hadn’t realized he’d been needing.

However, in that glance he also noticed your eyes were fixed on the TV, but your head was visibly elsewhere. He could practically see the thoughts race in and out of your mind. 

“Penny for your thoughts?”, he asked softly, tapping on your leg with his free hand.

“Nothing really… I was just thinking”, you replied almost whispering, with the same expression.

“Yeah, I can see the thoughts race in and out of your mind”, he meant to say that as a joke, but when you turned your face in his direction, your eyes screamed with anxiety and sadness. “Y/N, are you ok?”

Your heart skipped a beat at his question. This was the moment you’ve been dreading – having to explain what was wrong. You had it coming, though. You weren’t doing an amazing job at being your usual cheerful self. You were just secretly hoping Ryan would mistake your behaviour for tiredness. But no, he read you like an open book.

“Uhm, yeah”, you bit the inside of your cheek hesitantly, unsure if you wanted to unload all the weight you’ve been carrying on your shoulders. Needless to say, he had become your person, your safe place. You knew you could trust him with whatever you wanted and he would still be there for you without judging.. But this… was not a happy conversation.. A knot tightened on your chest. You struggled with talking about your mom’s death because you felt that it made it feel more real… So, you put all the memories and feelings in a box and stored them in the basement of your brain.

Ryan knew you zoomed out again, so he decided to keep talking to you to keep you grounded. “Hey, you don’t have to tell me anything until you’re OK? Just know I’m here for you.”

You nodded at him, thanking him silently. But before doing anything else, you felt his hand wipe something off your cheek. A tear? You hadn’t even realized they were threatening to come out.

“Hey… come here”, he whispered softly and now he used his two arms to wrap you in a comforting hug. All the emotions you’d been suppressing the whole day came out to the surface and hit you like a trainwreck. “Shh, it’s ok”, he whispered repeatedly while gently stroking your back. Your fingers clutched at the fabric of his typical white shirt as he let you pour your heart out. 

After some minutes in the same position and now with your cries having subsided, you broke the hug and quickly wiped the remaining tears. He frowned his eyebrows at you, implicitly asking if you were feeling better. You nodded softly.

“Thank you”, you finally spoke, your voice coming out hoarse. “I’m sorry for spoiling your favorite t-shirt”, he looked down and saw how your crying had taken a toll on this piece of clothing but then he made a dismissive gesture with his hand.

“Don’t worry. You know I have lots of these”, he joked and you couldn’t help but laugh. It was true. You rarely see him wear anything besides white sleeveless tank top and dark pants. If the weather was colder, he’d take a grey shirt or his signature leather jacket. 

Ryan stayed there in front of you, studying your expression, and removed a loose strand of hair that had fallen before your face. He couldn’t ignore how beautiful you looked, even after crying your eyes out. His hand lingered on your face longer than it should, caressing your left cheek. You could feel your heartbeat quicken under his touch and the fears of showing him your vulnerability seemed to dissolve in the warmth of his gestures. He was about to open his mouth to say something, but hesitated, as nothing felt good enough.

Instead, he looked at you, searching in your eyes for permission he wasn’t sure he needed. The silence between you felt charged but it wasn’t uncomfortable at all. He saw how your eyes looked down at his lips and, unconsciously, you licked yours subtly. His breath hitched slightly.

His hand, near your face, grabbed your chin this time and he slowly leaned in, as if testing the waters. You gave him a small nod and didn’t take long for his mouth to meet yours in a tender slow kiss. The world around you seemed to stop and all the things that have been troubling you seemed to fade in the distance. Your hand instinctively reached up, threading softly through the short hairs at the nape of his neck. The kiss then deepened just slightly, enough for both of you to feel the unspoken emotions behind it. When it ended, his forehead lingered against yours, eyes still closed, as if cursing to himself that he had to stop to breathe. It seemed your lips were custom-made for his, fitting together in a way that felt both effortless and electric. 

He gave you another quick peck before his thumb started to gently trace the curve of your cheek.

“I have to admit,” you said with a playful smirk, “I like this method of comforting.”

A soft chuckle escaped him, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he looked at you with nothing else but adoration.

“You really are something else, aren’t you?”

you made it to the end, congrats! 💜 I really hope you enjoyed it and that it wasn't too long for a one shot. I have to admit I had fun writing it and trying to replicate the characters' personalities, especially when seth appeared.

this maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay have a part 2, depending on if it flops, lol.

and as I usually say, i'd love to read some comments with your feedback :) and i'm also taking requests, so there's your chance to leave one 💗

[bleach-your-panties]

:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ→˚₊· 🤎black-coded reader if you squint, but anyone can read!

✨️warnings: modern university au (4years), jealous sex, degradation, dirty talk, oral (f! receiving), messy sex, kinda angsty, but happy ending. y'all should know by now, 18+ and mdni; it's nnn for pete's sake (who's pete?)

･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ→˚₊·🤎first time writing for geto!

✨️banner made by me in pic collage. ✨divider: unknown via picgifs

:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ→˚₊· 🤎5.1k words

▶️addiction - ryan leslie ft. cassie, fabulous

▶️my boo - usher ft. alicia keys

▶️who booty - john hart ft.iamsu

You and Suguru have been best friends since high school. 

Getting introduced to him by a certain, snow-haired, crystalline-eyed troublemaker in your first year at Jujutsu Tech had to have been the highlight of your life at the time.

He was in stark contrast to his other best friend, Satoru Gojo, but that may be why the two of you got along so well.

Gojo and Shoko joked around about how similar the two of you acted and that you should drop the 'best friend' facade and just date already. 

Your tight-lipped presentation paired with Suguru's quiet reticence allowed the two of you to shrug off their suggestions fairly easily and keep it pushing.

All that began to change though once the four of you graduated high school and started college.

Gojo, with his lovable loud-mouthed self, continued his relentless teasing  of Suguru throughout the first two years of college. Shoko effectively took over with teasing you, but you continued to just laugh them off.

“Really, you two? If Sugu and I wanted to date each other, we could have done that ages ago! Since you’re both so invested in love, why don’t the two of you go on a date, huh?”

That shut them up pretty quick.

Thankfully, because you didn’t know how much more of their sad attempts at matchmaking you’d be able to handle.

—-

When the third year of university rolled around, there was a drastic change to you and Suguru's dynamic.

It started off innocent: late-night study sessions in the library that ended with you spending the night in his dorm room.

He didn't want you walking across campus to the women's dormitories in the dark by yourself (why didn't he offer to walk you?), so staying over with him was obviously the only option.

With the two of you having been friends for years, initially, there was no awkwardness; only warm, comfortable silences while the both of you studied together.

Suguru had decided to major in religious ministry and planned to pursue a Ph.D. in the subject once he finished his undergraduate studies. His logical and emotional intelligence are both above average, so you know that he'll excel in his chosen program. 

With you always having had a love for science and medicine, much like Shoko, you opted to pursue a degree in biology with a pre-medicine concentration, though you haven't quite made your mind up about whether you'd rather pursue medical school or another type of graduate school.

No awkwardness, right?

That was true until one fateful night in his dorm room.

The two of you were studying, per usual, but something in the air seemed off. Finally, Suguru spoke up.

"You know, Y/N, I think that Satoru and Shoko are partially right."

You were nose-deep in an anatomy book before his smooth voice broke through the silence in the room.

"Huh, partially? About what?"

The book closed with a soft plunk and your e/c eyes were now focused on Suguru's face.

He looked pensive like he was trying to put his full thoughts into words before expressing them to you. His black square-framed glasses slipped down and rested on the bridge of his nose. You wanted to lean forward and push them back up.

"About us. How we should date or whatever." 

"Oh, and what makes them right after what, nearly 6 years, now?" You asked in an amused tone.

Suguru chuckled softly and then began to rise from his black leather desk chair. His slipper-clad feet padded towards you until he was kneeling on his bed, his left knee situated right between your thighs.

"Su..?" You asked breathlessly as he steadily moved closer to you. His taller frame enclosed around you, like a massive tree hiding a small bird within its branches.

He leaned down until his cowlick was touching your forehead.

"Sugu.."

Then in the next moment he was kissing you.

He tasted exactly how you expected: like black tea and mint.

A startled gasp left your lips as he pressed his harder into yours, smearing your Chapstick. 

With shaky hands, you carefully brought them to rest on his neck. 

Suguru smirked against your lips, sucked your bottom one into his mouth and gave it a harsh suckle.

Suddenly, you were pushed onto your back with Suguru sitting up on his knees, your thighs on either side of his hips.

"Mmm, Su, wait…what's all this about?" You peered up at him through lidded eyes with mink lashes attached. Bottom lip red and swollen from his urgent kisses.

He swiped his tongue over his teeth, revealing the head of that sinful tiger eye tongue bar.

"I just want to…test a hypothesis if you will indulge me, pretty girl…" 

You felt your face beginning to burn from bashfulness at his insinuations as well as the use of the scientific jargon.

He moved back so you could fully sit up. 

"Okay, I'm listening." 

"Well, I don't know if you've felt it, but there's an undeniable amount of chemistry and sexual tension between us."

"There is?" You made your face look surprised, your brows furrowing and your mouth contorting into a small "o"

Suguru rolled his dark onyx eyes at your obliviousness.

"I just had my tongue tickling your palatines while you reciprocated eagerly, yet you think there's no sexual tension there?"

You scoffed a laugh. "You have really got to stop reading my anatomy texts." 

"But why? They're quite interesting." He smirked. 

"Yeah, but quoting them while we're getting hot and heavy? So not sexy, Su." 

He gripped your thigh, squeezing the fat of it through your spandex shorts before rubbing his hand down your leg to your pedicured foot.

Suguru massaged your toes gently, rubbing his rough palm over the sensitive soles; it felt so good, especially since you'd been up and down the campus all day, trying to locate your new classes for the semester. 

A deep sigh/moan escaped your still-wet lips and you ran your tongue over them to savor the lingering flavor of Suguru's kiss.

He put both hands on your thighs and wrapped them around his lower back before continuing to massage your legs and feet. 

"Huh, you like that, baby?" He asked with an air of arrogance in his tone,  eyes crinkling in mirth through his glasses as he stared down at you.

"Gosh, yes, Sugu. My feet were killing me. Thank you."

Suguru only chuckled softly before grabbing both your ankles and bringing your legs to rest on his shoulders, just to watch the expression on your face change from relaxed to surprised.

"Su!"

"Hmm, don't start screaming my name just yet, little one."  

And that was the very first night that you two fucked.

—-

Throughout the rest of the year, that was how the two of you continued on.

Those late-night study sessions in Suguru's dorm room turned into late-night sex sessions.

He still gave you those foot massages followed by eating you out until your voice was hoarse from calling his name.

Whenever Suguru had a rough day in class, he'd text your phone and you'd know to immediately head to his room after your evening classes.

He'd waste no time grabbing your throat and pinning you against the small armoire, throwing one leg on his hip and slotting himself in between so you could feel his angry hard-on.

The one that only fucking you could satiate.

Or some days he'd come to your dorm to help you study for your lab exams and memorize organic molecule configurations.

He'd reward you for correct answers with long drags of his tongue through your folds and hard sucks on your clit while you gazed down at him from under your notebooks, hands trembling and slipping from the pages.

As the year dragged along, you found yourself falling deeper in, whatever this was, with Suguru.

You once asked him exactly what 'this' was and where the two of you were going and he simply replied:

"We're just having fun. No pressure, no labels."

So you left it at that.

—

Third year ended and now the two of you are finally seniors.

It's that midpoint between fall and winter, mid-November, and the holidays are fastly approaching. 

Which for you means end-of-term lab exams.

Luckily, you and your lab partner are meeting up today to study for the organic chem lab.

You'd met him on your first day of the dreaded class, a credit required in order for you to graduate with all the prerequisites needed for med school. 

At first glance, he seemed like someone who'd drop the class in the first couple weeks and change their entire major just like you'd seen many of your former classmates do.

As you got to know each other throughout the semester, you warmed up to him and grew a small crush on the intelligent male.

Intelligence, a trait that you quite admire in your men.

To be honest, he reminded you of Suguru a bit.

Suguru, who you haven't really talked to or hung out with since your little falling out at the end of third year.

You didn't know if you'd both silently agreed to break off your little arrangement or if you were just avoiding him. 

Probably the latter.

It wasn't hard to do since you're both in different majors and have no classes in common; you can just write it off as you being extremely busy, which isn't actually a lie.

Continuing on to your dorm room after last class, you made yourself some instant ramen in your microwave before you started getting dressed for your lab review session. 

You sit at your little vanity table to do your makeup. Soft, pastel eyeshadow to compliment your beautiful e/c eyes and to match the pastel-colored cardigan laid across your bed. 

Despite the chilly weather outside, you opted to dress cute in your cardigan with a white turtleneck sweater underneath, black leather miniskirt, white thigh-high thick socks, and black Mary-Jane style slanted wedge heels.

Your fashion sense often earns you many sneers from your peers and questioning looks from your professors, but ask if you give a fuck.

To top off your look, you added some dainty silver jewelry before grabbing your bags and leaving for the chemistry building.

—-

Suguru sighed and stuck his phone back into his pants pocket.

He's a coward.

He can't even bring himself to click on your contact name to draft a simple 

'can we talk?' text.

The biting cold in the air made him hurry along to the campus coffee shop where Satoru had asked to meet him. 

—-

I was hopin' you'd notice 

The way that I like to have you around 

Around, yeah

Listen and you will find that your heart beats for me

Girl, I hear the sound, and it only gets better 

It started off with a kiss (uh huh)

Never expectin' this (uh huh)

And now I'm here copin' with

My addiction, addiction

—-

The little bell over the door jingled and Satoru's snow-white head shot up from where he was almost asleep (and drooling) on his class notes.

"About time you got here! I was beginning to think you'd stood me up!" He perked right up and swiped his sleeve over his mouth, putting on a bright smile.

Suguru just sighed and pulled back the wooden chair before plopping unceremoniously down into it. His backpack clunked to the floor.

"What's wrong with you? I mean aside from your usual aloof asshole tendencies. Something is actually going on, I can feel it." The blue-eyed male asked in concern.

"Nothing is wrong, Satoru. I'm just tired and stressed about midterms, graduation, and a whole lot of other shit."

Like you.

He didn't mean to hurt your feelings or make you feel unimportant when he said that the two of you were just having fun.

'What a fucking idiot I am. Of course no girl worth her salt wants to hear that she's just a nutty buddy.'

He lamented in his head before slamming it into the table. He groaned when the elastic keeping his hair in a bun snapped, covering his face completely in inky, blue-black locks.

Surprisingly, his glasses didn't break. 

"Oh damn, that bad, huh?" Satoru asked. "Hey, can I get a triple shot of espresso on that frappe, please! I think you're gonna need it to get through the rest of the day." He murmured as the waitress walked over.

—-

And Satoru was right. He did need that coffee to make it through his last few classes, but he still felt like shit and now he was wired and not to mention completely pent up and horny.

After you two fell out, Suguru fell into a pit of despair. You stopped talking to him, studying with him, and even stopped responding to his texts.

Of course he missed hiking your legs up and eating you out, fucking you on every surface in his room, and then making you take his cumshots all over your makeup, but honestly right now…

He just missed your presence in his life.

To pour even more salt in his wounds, his two other best friends had begun dating people on campus, which often made him the fifth wheel when it came to hangouts.

Usually, Satoru would always have Shoko attached to his hip and Suguru would have you, but now that was all  over because of his wreckless choice of words.

"Fuck!"

He kicked one of the flimsy metal chairs outside of the library over with the toe of his boot causing some freshmen students to give him frightened looks.

"Got something to say?"

They shook their heads.

"Thought so."

He hoisted his backpack up higher on his shoulders so he could begin his trek across campus to get to the warmth of his dorm room when he saw you moving quite urgently towards the chemistry building.

He knew that you were likely heading to prepare for one of your lab exams, but the outfit that you had on alluded to this being much more than just a casual meet-up to study. 

Oh no, with the way that skirt was gripping your hips and just barely covering your ass, you had to be meeting up with someone special.

And the fact of knowing that it isn't him lit his entire soul on fire.

"Oh, hell no."

So he followed you.

—-

There's always that one person 

That will always have your heart

You'll never see it comin'

'Cause you're blinded from the start

Know that you're that one for me

It's clear for everyone to see

Ooo baby…

You will always be my boo…

—-

You hummed softly to yourself as your heels clicked along the tiled hallway floor of your least-favorite building on campus.

Your partner had texted you to let you know that he'd be running late, as he had a test to make up that he'd forgotten about. 

That made you roll your eyes, but nevertheless you carried on to the empty lab room so you could start studying by yourself. 

Once inside, you set up your materials on the desk and began to work. 

After only a few minutes of you working, you heard the door to the lab room creak open.

Thinking it was your partner finally having finished up, you lifted your head with a smile only for it to drop once you saw Suguru's tall frame lingering there at the door like a nervous ghost.

"What are you doing here?"

He froze at the ice in your tone; yep, you're definitely still mad. 

Almost shyly, he moved into the room, making sure that he shut the heavy door behind himself. It closed with an echoing 'boom'. 

"What, am I not allowed within twenty feet of you now? Did you file a restraining order on me, too?" He bit with more than a hint of sarcasm. 

"Very funny, Suguru. So what-

“Suguru?” He cut in. 

You never called him Suguru. Only 'Sugu' or 'Su'. Never Suguru.

You looked up as he began stalking towards you, the thud of his boots much louder in your ears than they should have been. 

He now hovered over you, a mean and irritated look plastered across his normally cool, stoic features.

(a/n: the pic in the banner is how he's looking at you🙈)

You only continued with your original thought, though your tone was a bit less sassy now.

"So you came here in search of me because why? Couldn't get your nut off by yourself?" You sneered, making his jaw tense.

A large hand slammed down on the table, making you flinch. 

"Stop with the attitude, Y/N. I'm already fucking pissed." 

Now you were confused because, who is he talking to?

"Okay and what does that have to do with me, Suguru? You-"

His other hand gripped the wide collar of your cardigan and pulled you up out of the chair you were seated in. 

Your face smashed against his chest and you were engulfed in the deep scent of his woodsy cologne.  He pushed you back slightly to examine your face up close. 

"Stop calling me that." 

"Your name?" 

He gazed down at you with his black eyes hardened.

They slowly roamed over your body, taking you in as a whole since he hasn't seen you up close in so long.

“So you wore this for him?”

"Him?" You put a hand on his chest and he allowed you to push him back so you could have space.

His eyes shifted from your face to your thigh-highs.

"Your boyfriend. The one you're waiting here for."

Is this really happening right now? It couldn't be. 

Shaking your head with a chuckle, you regarded Suguru with an incredulous look.

"My boyfriend, oh right, you mean my chemistry lab partner."

You crossed your arms underneath your bust and his breath hitched as the movement caused your breasts to shift upwards and strain against the material.

"If that's what you want to call it, you don't have to hide it from me." He shrugged and stuck his hands in the pockets of his black jeans. 

“Well don’t let me interrupt your little date.”

“It’s not a date, Suguru, we’re just studying for our lab exam. He is my lab partner, after all. We've worked together for this entire semester."

His jaw clenched. So this guy had been around you and not only within school grounds, most likely.

In a split second, you were flying backwards, with your back rubbing against the cold surface of the lab table.

Suguru was back between your legs, the position mirroring the one from your first ever sexual encounter last school year.

"You let him fuck you?" He asked with a hard edge to his voice.

"W-what?" 

"You heard me, Y/N. Did you give him a taste of what belongs to me?"

He lowered himself to a kneeling position right between your spread thighs. 

"Knees up."

Immediately, you complied, making Suguru smile and show all of his perfectly straight white teeth. He then grabbed hold to the sides of your panties and began shimmying them down ever so slowly.

"My favorite panties, too. What a shame; you're really showing out now, aren't you, darling? Trying to get daddy's attention?"

You pressed your lips together causing him to click his tongue in annoyance.

"Huh, you want my attention, so you parade yourself around campus dressed like how you are? Answer me." 

He spanked your pussy hard with the back of his hand, making your back arch off the table.

"Suguru, please!"

"I said to stop fucking calling me that. Now lay your ass back down."

You obeyed but your lower lip quivered just slightly. He was mad and when Suguru was mad and sexually frustrated, you knew it wouldn't be a short night for you.

"I'm going to ask you again, Y/N. Did you let him fuck?"

You quickly shook your head side to side.

"But you wanted to, right? You were going to, right? Answer right now or I'll leave you here with a wet cunt and no orgasm."

"No, Su, I promise. We're just partners, I swear!" 

"Hmm, lying slut…" He murmured, eyes transfixed on how your pussy lips were sucking in the damp material of your underwear. He was ecstatic that you had stopped calling him Suguru, though.

With two fingers, he hooked them under your panties, right on top of your mound. The backs of his knuckles scraped against your throbbing clit, causing your left knee to shake.

"Such a sensitive bitch, you've got to be telling the truth then, because you only tremble like this when you're needy. Right, baby?" 

You whimpered out a weak 'yes' and 'please' 

—-

Lil' mama, I know what you want

Begging me to beat it 

Like the bass in my trunk

I'm a lil' nasty, I ain't even gotta front

Lick you from your head

Down down to your butt

—-

Suguru decided to finally indulge you, but first he ripped your panties off in one swift movement, fully exposing you to his greedy eyes. 

He spat a thick, wet glob of saliva onto your pussy, the sound making your face warm with shame.

"You don't have to act so shy, love. I know I'm the only one who knows how to eat this shit just the way you like it." 

His long fingers slid through your folds, collecting your creamy, translucent cum on them. 

He scissored his fingers apart, watching the strings stretch but never break. 

"Fuck."

His dick is as hard as a brick, but he'll take care of that in a minute.

Next, his mouth was completely covering the bottom of your cunt while those two fingers worked your clit, rubbing your mess back and forth over the pulsating bud.

The ball of his tongue ring poked at your asshole periodically as he ate you out and you clenched everytime, fearing that he'd stick it in.

French-polished nails reached for his hair and Suguru, whose eyes never left yours, grabbed your hand with his free one to tangle yours in his navy blue locks.

"Su! Su! Su!" You chanted like a cheer, cheering him on as he ate your pussy so sloppily and made a mess of you and the table. 

Juices leaked down your legs and his chin from his combined saliva, your slick, and your cum from the multiple times that he had you squirting, just from his tongue and two fingers.

He could eat you out like this for hours, but he doubted he'd have that much time before someone discovered the two of you. 

Rising back to his full height, Suguru looked down at you and admired the shaking, wet mess that you'd become.

You were covered from your lower abdomen down to your knees in a mixture of your own squirt, cum, and his saliva. Even your socks were soaked and now sticking to your skin.

He never thought you looked more beautiful.

"Su…" You whined up at him, body growing cold from the waist down and aching to have him fill you up and make you warm.

"What, bitch? Want my dick now? You think you've earned it after ignoring me for damn near the whole semester?"

Your eyes drooped sadly and he stopped, cursing himself for not knowing when enough was enough.

"No, no, no…I'm sorry, baby…look, listen to me. I…"

"I'm sorry, Sugu. I'm sorry for ignoring you instead of just coming out and telling you how I really felt." 

He stopped completely then and rested his hands on your hips, right above the top of your skirt and massaged small circles into the pudge that poked out there.

Dark, slanted eyes locked onto your e/c ones to let you know that you had his full attention. 

—-

I was in love with you when we were younger, you were mine (my boo)

And I see it from time to time

I still feel like (my boo)

And I can see it no matter how I try to hide (my boo)

And even though there's another man Who's in my life, you will always be my boo

My oh, my oh 

My oh, my oh, my 

My boo

My oh, my oh 

My oh, my oh

My boo

—-

"I knew the moment you kissed my lips in your room that day. That you were the one I could put my entire trust in and spend the rest of my life with. There's no one that I trust to have my heart more than you, Sugu. I love you."

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

He fucked up.

'I fucked up'

"I fucked up." He finally said out loud. Your eyes raised to meet his again.

"I fucked everything up when I said that stupid shit that I said." 

You wrapped your arms around his neck while he stood between your legs.

"Every day that I couldn't be around you was fucking hell. You consumed nearly every waking thought. School, hanging with friends, work; hell, even jacking off became torturous knowing that I wouldn't be hearing from you throughout any part of my day."

He chuckled lowly.

"Do you forgive me, baby? You have nothing to apologize for here, and I love you, too.." 

You nodded slowly and he pressed his forehead against yours before tilting his head to capture your lips in his.

The tangy taste of your cum covered your taste buds as Suguru began exploring every inch of your mouth with his expert tongue.

His tongue bar clinked against your teeth ever so slightly with his rushed and hasty movements; it was like he was trying to savor every bit of that sweet confession that you'd just spoken to him.

"Mmm, Sugu…" You breathed once he parted for air.

His hands moved to your waist and he flipped you over, pressing you back into the table with both of your wrists trapped in one of his strong hands.

The sight of that tight, black leather hiked up over your ass cheeks had him in a frenzy to undo his belt and drop his pants.

Once his cock was free, he tapped the leaking head on both cheeks.

He couldn't help himself, he just had to ask:

"Whose pussy is this?" 

Your reply was immediate: 

"I-It's yours, Sugu'..f-fuck! Please put it in!"

"Hmm, not good enough. Fucking convince me."

Even though he said that, he was already sliding his thick ass dickhead between the messy folds of your cunt.

"Please, Su…it's yours, baby, all yours. Please fuck me." 

"Shit…!" He almost collapsed on top of you and sent the whole table crashing to the ground.

You let out a collective moan when he finally slid in, sheathing his dick deep inside you.

Grabbing your hair and twisting it around his hand, he pulled you up into a perfect arch with your ass flush against his thighs.

"Again. Whose is it?" 

—-

Slide in that thang, real deep game

Bust it so good, girl, what's my name? 

Hit it from the back, headboard swag

When I talk shit, shawty answer right back

I be on her like:

Who booty is it?

Who booty is it?

Who booty, who booty, who booty is it?

Who booty is it?

Who booty is it?

Who booty, who booty, who booty is it?

—-

Usually Suguru was a rough, fast thruster, but right now he had you confused because he'd start out with a few quick hard thrusts that had you face-planting into the table, then he'd switch it up and slow grind you, pressing his hips so far into your backside that you'd have imprints of his hip bones.

"Su…S-s-u…SU! Fuck fuck fuckkkk!" You screeched while your nails scratched the surface of the table that was sliding back and forth but hadn't broken down.

He only thrusted harder and faster. It wouldn't be long before he came all over that dirty pussy.

“Sturdy ass table.” He chuckled. “Perfect for whores like you to get fucked on.” A groan from deep within his chest emerged as his thighs shook.

"I'm…fuck…I'm going to ask you one last time, Y/N. Whose. Fucking. Pussy. Is. It. Y/N?"

Each word was punctuated with a deep, brutal thrust.

Your breasts were sore from being pushed so hard against the cold surface of the table and your thighs sticky and wet from Suguru eating you out.

"I- GOD, I…y-yours!" You managed before your orgasm took over.

It was so strong you almost blacked out, no doubt the strongest one you'd ever had thus far.

But Suguru wasn't quite done yet.

He pulled out and slapped your ass hard with his palm while the other fisted his dick furiously. 

"Turn over. Open your legs for me, wide, like a slut. There you go." 

He came with a shattered groan, ropes of white hot cum splattering against your already bruised and messy folds.

When his balls were completely empty and you were covered in white, he scooped some onto his fingers and brought them up to your lips.

"Suck." 

You sucked.

"Good fucking girl, fucking slut. Whore." He attached his mouth to yours and dipped his tongue in to taste your sweetness combined with his essence. 

You both made out sloppily, swapping cum until he pulled back and spat the snowballed cum back into your mouth followed by patting your cheek lovingly. 

"Now swallow."

And you swallowed.

With a deep sigh and a satisfied smile displayed over his handsome features, he began searching the room for paper towels to clean the two of you up.

Once you'd gotten your bearings, you locked the door behind yourselves. 

Suguru pulled you into his chest and kissed the top of your head.

"I wonder what happened to my partner? I guess I got stood up after all!"

The man beside you couldn't resist rolling his eyes and then answering in a smug tone.

"Or, he heard you screaming my name from all the way down the hallway and decided to just fuck off." He snorted.

You giggled and elbowed his side, but he was dead serious. 

"No, really, baby. I saw him peek through the window on the door when I was giving you backshots. The look on his face was fucking priceless." You gasped.

"Sugu, you didn't!" He only laughed harder.

"I mean, really. I didn't even have to ask who it belongs to. Lucky for you that I showed up, or you could've started dating that guy and been screaming out SU everytime he fucked you."

----

*ʳᵉᵇˡᵒᵍˢ ᵃʳᵉ ��ᵖᵖʳᵉᶜⁱᵃᵗᵉᵈ!

[changingplumbob]

This mansion is massive, map needed!

Next in my sims 4 rotations will be the Seconds who have moved in with James Ryan, Alexander's fiance. I found a beautiful build on the gallery and wanted to share it with my minimal renovations to give you a sense of the layout. Original Mansion from Gallery ID: eriks112 “The Gold Lake Manor”

I feel in love with the roofing because I cannot do roofing at all at all. Do not be deterred by gallery builds with night photos, they can be great! I haven’t tampered with the outside except to get rid of the giant maze because I’m hoping for a backyard wedding for Alexander and James.

Inside I have done light refurbishing. Which to me means leaving all the walls where they are. With moving in some of my sims I’ve made changes to things like wallpaper, flooring, plant décor etc. Come on my tour since it took me three days of intermittent playing to be happy with it 🤣

Here is the entryway. I love how the builder layered curtains throughout the space. I changed which paintings and plants there are to fit the decor James and Alexander like. Turning right you get access to the lounge which again, I didn't do much with, because when it looks this great why change it?

The lounge also has it's own full bar. Again these are the beautiful details that the gallery sytem fails to show properly. I changed out one of the exercise machines in the adjacent home gym for a punching bag. What happens if you turn left back at the entryway?

You reach the wonderful grand dining room. Again I changed just the wall art. Some pieces from the small flat have made the cut! The kitchen has a cute breakfast bar and plenty of decor. A small door outside leads to a garden. Not sure if it'll be used but Keira is studying biology.

This library might just be my favourite room, if only Ophelia hadn't died here. The builder did an incredible job, I love all the bookcases! Would happily spend hours here myself. Back to the entryway and next we're headed up the stairs to the right, above the lounge area.

A small, bright landing leads to where James and Alexander are currently staying. They have their own mini lounge and a gorgeous view from a small balcony.

In their office and bedroom I kept the original colour scheme but again changed the decor to their style. Everything in the bedroom apart from the curtains was put there by me, but I was heavily influenced by the original layout in the build. Are those small gas lamps indoors? Yes, I regret nothing

Back down to the entryway and up the stairs to the left. Here is another bright landing. Again the builder did such a good job with the space, I'm in awe. Later I'll show through those brown doors but first let's turn to the small white door and check out Keira's room.

In her room I redid everything (wallpaper included) to again reflect her style. As you can see she has loads of family photos as well as several things showing her geek-ness. Her mum gave Keira her old easel when she moved out and she likes to paint from time to time.

Through those brown double doors is the guest corridor. Joey's space shows off his industrial techie style. He also has a frame that rotates through pictures of ladies he's woohoo'd because the aspiration counter resets and I don't want to lose track. Bright landing and up the final flight of stairs

There is a TV room up on the third floor but the main space is empty. I took out the furniture and am planning on moving James and Alexander up here after their wedding. The view again is amazing, as is the small office I'm leaving untouched for now. Big thanks to eriks112 on building all this!

[orangeinecstasy]

cup of music, part two ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟryan mcmahon

✧: part one

paring: ryan x fem!oc

summery: erin finally gets a glimpse at the rockstar girlfriend lifestyle.

a/n: hey everyone! so i originally uploaded these to wattpad, but i wanted to have a bit of a platform change. please let me know what you guys think. my requests are currently open so please feel free to send in an idea you have. enjoy!

wc: 2.5 k

*likes, reblogs, and feedback are greatly appreciated!

It had been a couple of weeks since you and Ryan had last seen each other. Because I and school and Ryan had stuff with his band, it felt almost impossible for us to meet up. That, however, didn't prevent us from calling and texting each other practically every minute of the day. He would show you his art while you would talk about your classes and working at the shop. He was like a breath of fresh air on a hot summer day.

Today, thankfully, was a beautiful spring day. Everything around me was so green and vibrantly in bloom, making the fact that I had to study slightly less bearable. As I stared outside, the glass of the cafe window separating me from the world's beauty, my phone started to vibrate on the counter. Flipping it over, my face lit up once I saw Ryan's name across the top of it.

"Hey!" I say, answering the phone. I didn't know what it was, but my heart skipped a beat whenever he called me.

"Hey!! What are you up to?" I could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke.

"Just studying for this bullshit test. You?" I slip my pencil into my notebook and shut it to focus more clearly on Ryan. "Damn, that sucks, love. If you're free a little later, I was wondering if you wanted to get some dinner and maybe come to one of my shows?" I was honestly kind of shocked that he asked me to come to one of the shows so soon. There was a stereotype that people in bands had a reputation for keeping their relationships as open as possible. I knew Ryan, and I didn't have a set label, but that simple question caused my heart to give in to him more.

"Erin? You there?" I was so struck with shock that I forgot to respond. "Oh, yeah, sorry," laughing, I respond, "I'd love that. Just text me with all the details of that stuff." He hummed a soft response, "Will do. I'll talk to you later, yeah."

"Yeah!" The call ended, and I couldn't help but look down at my phone and smile. I was falling for him hard and fast.

After a few more hours of studying, I left the library and headed back home to change into something a bit cuter.

I didn't know much about Ryan's band. Just that he was the drummer, and Josh, the friend who came with him to the shop the last time, was their guitarist.

Because I didn't know what the video of the night would be, I settled on a black shirt with a low-scoping back that allowed for the tattoo of lilies of the valley on my spine to be exposed. Finally, I slipped on some jeans, a belt, and my trusty pair of black platform docs and headed out to meet Ryan at the dinner spot.

Thankfully the restaurant was only a five-minute walk from my apartment, so I decided to enjoy the beautiful weather and walk there. I hummed softly as I walked, and soon enough, Ryan came into view.

"Ryan!!" I call out to him, waving, his a giant smile on my face. "Erin!" he jogged over, arms engulfing me in a hug that slightly raised me off the ground. I didn't realize how strong he was, but that's what comes with being a drummer.

Hugging back, my lungs fill with his woody scent. "It's so good to see you." my feet again touched the ground as we slightly pulled away from the hug. I gently reach up, touching his cheek, and he leans into my touch. "It's really good seeing you too."

He took my hand, and the two of us walked into the cute cafe-style restaurant. "I hope you like this place. I've only been here a couple of times, but it's always been really nice." he squeezed my hand softly. "I'm sure I'll love it." I smile up at him, returning the squeeze.

Once we sat down at a table next to the large open windows and ordered, we spent nearly two hours just chatting. It was so lovely to sit there and talk with him about anything and every as we exchanged small touches. He was effortlessly funny and even more handsome than the last time I had seen him. After we finished, we decided to head out to the venue where he played tonight.

Our clasped hands swing between us as we walk to the venue. "So, you already know Josh. That leaves Eli and Robert. They're great, though Robert can be kind of... unfiltered at times." Nodding, I respond, "Cool! What type of music do you guys play? Should I be expecting jazz or heavy metal slipknot-type stuff?" he laughs, free hand running through his hair. "It's like alternative rock-pop-ish. You'll like it, promise."

"Hmm... okay, I trust you." leaning up, I kiss his cheek gently, leaving a berry stain on his cheek. "Oh, shit, sorry." laughing, I try and rub the lipgloss off of his cheek. "Don't be sorry. I like it; it's cute." I blush slightly at his comment.

The two of us got closer to the venue, fans coming into view. "Don't be worried, okay? They're usually super nice." He lets his hand drift on my bare back, creating a comforting touch. "I trust you."

Soon enough, the two of us got spotted. Fans started to scream Ryan's name as he walked past, some whispering to each other, asking who I was. But Ryan was unfazed, continuing to be his happy self as he waved back to the fans, returning some highs and I love yous. Seeing him be himself around the fans made him even more attractive. How confident and unwilling to create some rockstar persona showed me how lucky I had been.

Finally, the two of us were able to slip into the venue. "I hope that wasn't too overwhelming for you." looking down at me, he moved some hair from my face. "It was fine. They seem to really love you a lot."

Nodding, he smiles. "Yeah, they're the best. Ready to meet the guys?" I hum in response, his hand falling naturally back into mine as we walk to the dressing room.

The door was already open, allowing the chatter and music coming from inside to spill into the hallway. As we walked in, the smell of cigarette smoke, wood, and metal filled my lungs and mixed to have a pleasant smell.

Ryan cleared his throat, to which the music and chatter quickly stopped. "Guys, I'd like you to meet Erin." I wave as the guys start to stand. "Erin! It's good to see you again!" Josh said, pulling me into a tight friendly hug. "It's good to see you too." hugging back, laughing lightly at his enthusiasm. "I'm Eli. It's nice to meet you. Ryan seriously wouldn't shut up about you." we hug quickly before I meet the final band member. "I'm Robert. It's grand to meet you." I gave out the last hug. Though I was nervous before meeting the lads, they all seemed nice. "It's really wonderful to meet you all too. I'm super excited to watch you play!"

"I'm going to show her around a bit more before they let everyone in for the show. I'll see you, lads, in a few." As we walk back out of the room, I give them a little wave, hoping that I seemed friendly in our small interaction.

"Soooo, you always talk about me, do ya?" I nudge his side a few times before we start laughing. "I'm not even going to try and pretend like I don't. I like you a lot." he rubs his nape, making his slight embarrassment more noticeable. "I like you a lot, too." my arm loops around him as I rest my head on his shoulder.

We chatted as we walked around before, and finally, the two of us ended up on the stage. Ryan pointed out the guy's guitars before we got to the drum set. "It's so cool that you play the drums. It really fits your character." My fingers glide across the smooth cold metal of the symbols. "You're so fucking sweet," he kisses my head. "Here, sit down. I'll teach you how to play a little something." He settles himself on the stool, then pats his knee.

Sitting down on his knee, I move my hair, allowing it to lay across my shoulder, exposing my bare back and tattoo. "Holy shit Erin, this is beautiful." his hand travels down my spine, stopping at my mid-back. "I'm glad you like it. Lilies of the Vally they're my favorite." he takes a pair of drumsticks out of their holder. "I'll keep that in mind."

Handing me the drumsticks, his arms lay across mine, hands helping me hold the drumsticks in my own. "Okay, let me just test this," he stepped on the foot pedal, causing a thud to vibrate off the bass. "Hmm, okay, cool, ready?" nodding, our arms start to move together. It was just a simple beat, but it was fun to experience something Ryan was passionate about.

After a little bit of play, we stopped, the vibrations of the drums melting into the floor. I turned to face him, "See, you're not half bad." he smiled, hands moving from my arms to around my waist. "I think that's just because I have such an amazing teacher." I didn't know what it was, but at this moment, I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. "Oh really? How good?" Ryan's gaze moved from my eyes to my lips and back up again. My heart beats faster as I lean down, our lips connecting shyly but soon melting together as the kiss becomes deeper.

Pulling away, my heart settled slightly. "Prove my point?" I move some hair from his face. "I think I need to test that again." he gives me a soft kiss, the biggest smile on his face. "Yeah, the point is proven." I shake my head. "You're such a dork."

Finally, it was time for the show. The fans' energy was terrific as they crowded into the venue, adorning cowboy hats and other fun accessories. Because I didn't want to take a good spot away from someone, I opted to stand on the side of the stage. "Hey, you're going to kill it out there." Squeezing Ryan's hand, I give him a peck on the cheek before he and the band member have to settle on the stage. "Thanks, love. I hope you enjoy." He returned the squeeze before the boys got the cue to go onstage.

The fan erupted in cheers as the boys walked on. Even though I only knew Ryan well, I was proud of all four lads. From what Ryan told me, they worked so hard to get where they are now, and it's so beautiful seeing someone you care about achieve their dreams.

The music was fucking amazing. I couldn't help myself from dancing and yelling along with the crowd. The energy was like nothing I had felt before, and being able to feel the mix of the instruments vibrate through the floor put me into some sort of trance. And Ryan, holy shit, it was amazing to see him play. Every once in a while, we would make eye contact between songs, or when the guys were switching out his guitars, even in a moment where he should feel like he's on top of the world, he would mouth things like 'Are you okay?' or 'Are you having fun?'. Fuck, he was literally the sweetest, and I made sure to show that I was enjoying myself to the fullest.

"Thank you, everyone, for coming out tonight. We'd like to dedicate our last song of the night to a very special person." Eli's voice melted into the microphone and out of the speakers as he spoke, his eyes shifting to glance at me. Cocking my eyebrow in confusion, I look to Ryan, trying to get some calcification. "Me?" I say, pointing to myself. He nods, before the start of When I'm With You starts blasting through the speakers, the fans screaming along with the lyrics.

I couldn't help but stand there speechless, my eyes never leaving Ryan. Once the song ended, the crowd roared, the guys saying their goodbyes, throwing picks and drumsticks into the crowd. Ryan was the first to walk off stage, his arms instantly wrapped around my body in a tight hug. "Did you enjoy yourself?" he looks down at me, the cheekiest grin on his face. "Enjoy myself? Ryan, I had the best fucking time. You're amazing! The lads are amazing! You didn't have to dedicate that last song to me," my eyes shift away from his, "You're the sweetest person I've ever met." we exchanged a small kiss, and the boys made some joking groaning noise that caused me to blush under the dim backstage lights.

The rest of the night, the guys and I hung out, just drinking and talking. It was nice to get to know the rest of the band. They were all so sweet and funny. I couldn't believe that I had found someone so perfect who had friends that I had clicked with. At around two in the morning, we decided it was time to pack up and get some rest.

The night had a slight chill, which prickled against my warm skin. "I'll walk you back to your place," Ryan said, loading the last part of his drum kit into the van. My hand extended to him, and he took it, the two of us walking down the street close together. "I really did have a wonderful time tonight. It means a lot that you invited me out." My head rests on his shoulder as we walk. "I'm glad you like it, Erin. Feel free to come to any of our shows, okay?" I nod, and the two of us finally reach my apartment.

My heart protested as the two of us stood in front of the blue door of my apartment, my hands still in his. "We'll see each other soon, yeah? Maybe go out somewhere in a few days?" he pulls me closer as he speaks. "Yeah, I'd like that a lot." I smile up at him before giving him a goodnight kiss. "Goodnight, Erin." one of his hands breaks away from mine. "Goodnight, Ryan."

He moves to leave, but I speak up before our hands can break away from their hold on one another. "Hey, do you want to stay the night?" he turns back, smiling. "I'd love that more than you know." The two of us enter my apartment, tangled in each other's arms again.

Even though it was early in the morning, we stayed up, talking, kissing, and never leaving each other's sides. Honestly, it was one of the best nights of my life. Who knew meeting a boy in a recorded story would change your life.

[awkwardplant]

2023 Reads

This year I've read 24 books - I had only planned to read one book per month, given that I've barely read since leaving highschool. But my old bookworm self is re-emerging! As I write this, I'm on my 25th lol.

I decided at the start of the year that I wanted to try an read a wide variety of genres, which I did. Didn't love everything I read, but such is life. Below are all the titles and my terrible attempts to summarise the plots. The ones with a heart were my favourites and ones I highly reccommend.

My full list in order:

No Destination by Satish Kumar

Autobiography of the life of a pilgrim who left his family at 9 years old to become a Jain monk, then left that to become an activist and walk across continents.

Not the kind of life story you hear everyday, that's for sure.

How to Invent Everything by Ryan North

(Nonfiction) An in depth guide for the stranded time traveller that needs to recreate modern technology from scratch.

Funny, easy to understand, and bitesized sections that can be read when you've got a spare 5 mins.

Moral Compass by Danielle Steel

A girl who experiences sexual assault while at a private school that newly became co-ed, and the resulting court case/investigation into what happened.

Personally I felt this read like a case-study more than a story, and the message was very heavyhanded.

Meddling Kids by Edgar Cantero ❤

A horror comedy about a group of adults that used to be sleuths in their teens reunite to solve a case that everyone thinks has been wrapped up.

This was recommended to me by a librarian that said it was like "if the scooby doo gang all had trauma and fought eldritch beings" which perfectly summed it up. Also, if you shipped Velma and Daphne... you'll enjoy this book 👀 The writer randomly switches to a script-like format at times, some people hate that but I personally like when an author does whatever the fuck, just because he can. Delicious dark humour.

The Rain Heron by Robbie Arnott ❤

About a woman who lives alone in the mountains in a country devastated by a coup, and is sought out by a soldier in order to find the mythical Rain Heron.

Nice prose and descriptions, and the other character's pov chapters have some great suspense.

The Mark and The Void by Paul Murray

An office worker meets a novellist who wants to write about his life.

I was really into the first half of the story, but the second half became boring as the plot stagnated

Resistance by Samit Basu

People have superpowers corresponding to their innermost desires, and we follow the life of a billionaire who is the leader of a mecha group and the lives of their enemies.

I accidentally picked this up at the library, not realizing it was a sequal to Turbulence, but it read okay on it's own. You'd like this if you're into My Hero Academia or other shounen anime.

Notes from the Burning Age by Claire North ❤

Set in the distant future after an apocalypse, an archivist is forced to translate documents from the "burning age" for the Brotherhood

I still think about this story daily. The writing has an interesting style and rhythm and the plot is packed with intriguing developments

The Library at Mount Char by Scott Hawkins ❤

There's a library with the secrets to the universe, and several people, called Pelapi, grew up learning a unique catalogue of skills using its books, taught by Father, who might be God? But he's gone missing lately.

If you like The Umbrella Academy you'd like this. Like Meddling Kids, it's also dark and funny.

The People we Meet on Vacation by Emily Henry

A journalist and her old friend go on holiday in a last attempt to rekindle their friendship.

I found this book on a train, then left it on another. Hopefully it got a new home! The story was sweet, especially the ending where the journalist spent some time on herself.

It's Kind of a Funny story by Ned Vizzini

A teenage boy suffers a mental breakdown and spends a week in a psychiatric ward.

Given to me by a family member, I am now a bit concerned for her. It has a happy ending, at least. There was a transphobic depiction of a character that was mentioned in the blurb, but she doesn't even stay for the whole story.

The Darkness Knows by Arnaldur Indridason

A body is found on a mountain in Iceland, reopening a cold case from 30 years ago, bringing the detective in charge of it out of retirement.

The prose isn't great in this due to a poor translation. The plot/characters are a bit cliche but not too bad overall. The ending was unexpected yet also expected in the best way?

Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldree ❤

Cosy fantasy about an orc who retires from adventuring to open a coffee shop/cafe.

Bought this after seeing it recommended for people that like Stardew Valley. I liked the amount of detail that went into just building the shop. The prose is simple, but I find that fits the main character, Viv, well, and there were some really good lines/messages in the story. I have adopted Thimble.

Leonard and Hungry Paul by Ronan Hession

Two unremarkable irish men consider their lives and place in the universe.

This would've been one of my favourites had it not focused so much on Paul's sister's wedding. The book should've been called Leonard, Hungry Paul, and Grace. I did enjoy the conversations in this book, and the attention to the mundane.

Summer Sons by Lee Mandelo

Southern Gothic queer supernatural story about a college student trying to solve the case of his best friend's death, while being haunted by Revenants.

This took me ages to read because it was so emotionally heavy and the plot moved slowly. Like it had some incredibly good prose and relationship dynamics, but I couldn't force myself to read it again.

Psalm for the Wild Built by Becky Chambers

Solar punk story about a (nonbinary!) person who suddenly switches jobs to become a tea monk, then leaves that to visit a hermitage and meets a robot along the way.

This is a short book because the sequel is the second half of the story. £13-17.99 seems too expensive for half a book. It was recommended as a cosy fantasy but the MC is existentially unhappy with their life for most of it, so the story doesn't quite fit in that category.

A Cosmology of Monsters by Shaun Hamill ❤

Noah, the youngest child of his family, narrates the life of his parents: a bookish mother and a Lovecraft-horror lover father, and the monsters they all encounter

Phenomenal prose, characters, themes, and plot. Lots of psychological trauma and inner demons.

Those People Next Door by Kia Abdullah ❤

A family moves into a suburb and a war begins between them and the neighbours after he knocks down their "black lives matter" banner.

Oh boy, it sure escalates to become way out of hand. It has a mystery element to it which I enjoyed trying to figure out. Lots of tension between plot points. The last line! Agh!!

The Fall by Louise Jensen

A girl falls off a bridge and the family/police try to uncover who pushed her, but instead uncover secrets about the family.

There were some parts that didn't make sense to me, and there was a lot of characters to keep track of. Not a bad book but it just didn't have that extra spark.

Bookshops and Bonedust by Travis Baldree

Prequel to Legends and Lattes (but can be read on its own) where Viv has recently started adventuring but has to recover from an injury before she can return to her group. She helps out at a bookshop and gets caught up with a necromancer.

Preferred the first book as it felt cosier, but the action in this book is fun too.

Days at the Morisaki Bookshop by Satoshi Yagisawa

A woman leaves her office job after a breakup to live above her uncle's bookshop and helps out, but she hates books.

Too short for my liking, and the main character was difficult to connect to and the relationships/conversations seemed shallow. the second half of the story centres on the uncle's wife and while it had a valuable lesson it just wasn't as good to read.

Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin

Childhood friends meet again in college and design a game together, which changes their lives/careers.

This was not a terrible book, but it did have some strange descriptions, and the author doesn't understand how the game industry works.

The Hike by Lucy Clarke

4 women who have been friends since highschool go to Norway to climb Mount Blajfell, but they are not prepared for the trek

I felt this had some cliches, but a pretty decent suspense novel

And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie

10 people are invited to Soldier Island for various reasons, only to find they all have one thing in common... murder.

I was theorizing like crazy during this, trying to guess whodunnit. I felt like the reveal was a bit disappointing because how on earth was anyone meant to guess that??

Library books: 9

Given to me: 5

Favourites: 7

If you have any recs for me I'd love to know, just message me!

[meanwhileinstasiville]

Today's theme is "full on manipulation"

We've got a cooper next to chabad because I've taken to giving driver's a "throat cutting gesture" and uninterrupted eye contact in passing. And in a "people only pay attention to where I point" circumstantial excusal for ryan.

We've got John G at Safeway's open register who resembles phil, all while "don't you forget about me" plays on the PA system (haha funny joke. Get it?)

We've got the shelver stalker that ryan apparently got a job at the library, waiting by the Safeway exit when I left.

We've got stalkers a plenty; a city cruiser following a short bus. And it's not that, either. We've got stalker (added to the list) who stole a phone playing chess on one of the terminals because I referenced someone I used to know. While journaling. Offline. We had jaime-looking-like-me guy waiting by the food pantry downstairs. We *even* had a woman I haven't seen in months, back in this very corner, because she's a volunteer and can turn up anywhere.

And since we're talking about that, and someone I used to know, and she introduced me to Interview with a Vampire (which I could never get into); that reboot is a useful way to talk about some of this.

There's a vampire, with a human, which variously connotes a "sidling" up to neurotypical persons by serial kill and/or mass murderer sociopathic types, and also with civilians who cavort with drug trade personnel.

(And I don't want to bring dad into this, but he drilled into me how people "like him" function, seeming to want me to live a little longer)

He *did not explain* perhaps because he didn't know, that *you don't actually have to interact with them (going on fifteen years of everyday and all the while an unsolved murder sits with no motive) for a sidling to occur.

He has *empathy*, the human in the relationship, thus becoming the "emotional" eyes and ears of the vampire (drug murder addicted sociopath). They're a gay couple; being outed as gay OR a mass murderer is fatal. It's the glue that holds the abusive relationship together. They dress alike "because they've a couple" and actually the vampire did the dressing; dressing like a human makes him (it?) human, right?

(Sidling up to a guy who "wore leisure suits" and "didn't know if he was coming or going" was how my dad got together with my mom, after she spent her life studying criminals and antisocial behavior in order to understand a complete monster who was her father)

Got him in with ryan, got him in with eric, even got him in with anna. Speaker system at snk. So a person I used to know, a woman who gave me the "skylines reflected in mudpuddles" lowdown on vampirism, gave me a frame of reference to talk about the substance of what I'm experiencing. Sort of a social parasite, sociopaths who are entrenched with organizations; dad likened it to working at the dump with a touch of "people don't listen".

And so far as I can tell, no one gives a rats ass about any of it. Since I'm relegated to experiencing the Turner and Hooch "this is not your room" via associates of the company running company town (which I don't appreciate)

What do you do about them? You don't. Don't be a racist, don't be a bigot, don't emphasize segregation to the point a human being becomes synonymous with "roadkill". What happens as a result, excuses it, whether "it" is vampirism, serial murder, or even mass murder. My dad got brought into my mom's family sure they wanted her dead; and that was his "in"; turned out to be her own father who really wanted it done, causing dad to realize "there were worse things than him" in the world.

Want someone sans empathy so you can have all the feelings you want, running unopposed? Bad idea.

"Their dark secret must ALSO be..." homosexuality, a bad childhood, sexual abuse, war veteran status (dad got along *really* well with the veteran types, who never seemed to question that he *wasn't exactly* like them.

(ryan's mom abused him for emotional reasons because she's heterosexual, and his dad has an empathy deficit sooo, a homosexual leaning sociopath is the cure for what ails you *don't believe it!*)

After I sent a message to that woman, referencing Wiccan insight, I should not be experiencing a "needs of the many" proselytizing attempt via the "royal we", Bryan.

[calpicowater]

Day 60/365: March 1st 2017 | Tie x Bomber Jacket 

Woke up wayyyyyy earlier than I’d planned due to coughing myself awake (I love being sick lmao) so I just got up shortly after waking. Ate breakfast, caught up on youtube videos, got ready, and did my nails (FINALLY FOUND TIME TO FIX MY GROSS NAILS OMG I MISS HAVING EXTENSIONS SO MUCH LOL). Clinical psych lecture was painfully boring today. After school, I went to Rutherford (as usual) to continue doing my clinical readings. I have to read 3.5 chapters by the end of this week. By the end of today, I finished reading 1.5... almost 2 chapters. I read about 40 pages from just today alone and also wrote reading notes (this doesn’t sound like much but it usually takes me two hours to read 5 pages lmfao). Gah, studying is so extremely tedious but at least Ryan studies with me so the library life is significantly less boring. 

[lokislastlove]

Mans Rea (Dark!Andy Barber x Reader) part 2

Summary: Your TA, Andy Barber, has you over for a private session.

Warnings: Noncon/Rape, dubcon, smut, spanking, marking, edging, a bit of humiliation and degradation.

Note: Ok this really was supposed to be a one shot but then y’all came out and read it and liked it 😭 I felt inspired to add just a bit more, so thank you for that you lovely humans, y’all are awesome! It’s probably not as good as part one, but it is what it is. 🧡 thanks for all the support, you guys are so kind.

Part 1 Here

Part 2:

Professor Ryan prattles on in his lecture, doing his best to try and make the dry lesson plan as engaging as possible, often falling short of the mark. You zone out, as you’ve found yourself doing more and more lately, the squiggly vine-like doodles spreading the length of the lined margins before the whine of the door opening draws your eye away from your notebook. You feel your chest clench, air stilling in your lungs as you watch Andy nod at the professor, holding up a stack of papers before silently taking a seat off to the side.

“Ah, excellent Andy,” your teacher pauses, cleaning his glasses with the hem of his sweater vest. “Our wonderful TA has been hard at work grading your written exams, so be sure to give him a big ‘thank you’ as you grab it on your way out the door. I think we’ll end here for the day. Have a wonderful weekend everyone.”

The classroom breaks into a cacophony of sound as people fold down the small desk tray attached to the seat and gather their stuff. The girl two girls sitting in front of you twitter together flippantly, shushing each other’s giggles as they rush to flirt with the ‘hot’ TA.

Dread has you hesitating until you realize you are one of only a handful of students left. The fear of being alone with him only marginally overpowering the concern of what he might say in front of the other students. Your mouth goes dry as you descend the last few steps from the auditorium seats and near your tormentor. Two students linger a few paces away, discussing their weekend plans, as you steal yourself and come face to face with Andy for the first time since your library indiscretion.

Your hand shakes as you reach for your paper, keeping your eyes down and lips tight. He holds the essay just out of reach until you are forced to look him in the eye. His grin widens, teeth biting his bottom lip as he takes in your naturally submissive posture. You grip the edge of the paper and try to pull but he tugs you first and you gasp as he leans in closer.

“Don’t forget to say ‘thank you’, dove,” he smirks, the paper crinkling in his tight hold.

“Thank you,” you murmur, stumbling back as he suddenly lets go.

You swallow thickly as you back away toward the door, Andy’s piercing blue gaze tracking your retreat. Your shoulder hits the doorframe painfully and you finally look away as you scurry out of the room. The large ‘A’ etched into the corner of your exam feels undeserving, the familiar red ink making your cunt clench in memory as you shove it into your bag.

That night, the terror you felt in his presence sours into a bitter resentment. Instead of celebrating a great score on a test worth half of your overall grade, you stew in silence cursing Andy for tainting your happiness. You had always prided yourself on your work ethic and dedication to your studies, but now he’s even stolen that, casting doubt on what you did to deserve that A. Did you actually do well? Or is the favorable outcome paid for by your promiscuity?

—

Hey, early bird. :)

You stare at those three words, the taste of bile on the back of your tongue. How did he get your phone number? Do you reply or just delete? Minutes tick by as you go through a pros and cons list for every option. Your finger hovers over the ‘delete’ button only to be interrupted by another incoming message.

I know you’re awake. And I can see that you’ve read my message.

You cover your mouth instinctually, looking around as though expecting him to pop out of your dorm room closet. You pull up the keypad and reply with a curt ‘what’.

Straight to business, I like it. ;) I got a new assignment here I’m gonna need your help with. I’ve got plans this afternoon but you can swing by my fraternity this evening.

You scoff and send back, “no.”

Well, I don’t mind the library but you haven’t been by for a week. I suppose I could make a stop by the Callahan building. You still on the third floor?

Your blood runs cold, stunned by the veiled threat in his words. Suddenly the ordinary sound of footsteps passing by your door have you holding your breath in trepidation. As your paranoia reaches its peak you shakily reply, “which fraternity?”

—

Your knock on the door yields no results so you take a deep breath and timidly ring the doorbell. Boisterous voices sound just on the other side of the door. The sun barely set and already the majority of Greek row are drowning themselves in booze. You bounce on your toes, looking over your shoulder as a group of girls shivering in their tiny dresses and heels rush up behind you.

“Ugh they never answer the fucking door! Hold on,” a tall blond whines as she removes her phone from her cleavage and her nails clack against the screen.

Not thirty seconds later a large man whips open the door. “Ladies!” He bellows, throwing his arms up in welcome.

You try to stand off to the side as the girls push through into the warmth of the house and you catch the door and let yourself inside.

You stand there awkwardly for a moment, feeling wholly out of place as the blaring music vibrates below your feet. The group of girls disappear quickly down towards the flashing lights coming from the basement. You really don’t want to go down there. The tip of your boots straddle the edge of the top stair, as you gaze down at the sea of people grinding against each other.

Your heart rate quickens as you watch them and wish more than ever to be anywhere else, preferably alone in the quiet sanctuary of the library. But then you remember the Library is no longer safe for you, and the reason for that is exactly why you are here.

“Hey! I know you,” a drunken voice shouts up the stairwell.

You watch the tall silhouette climb the steps and you move back, panic fluttering in your stomach. The foyer light hits his face and you remember why his voice sounds familiar.

“Hard to forget an ass like that,” he snickers, licking his lips like he did that day across the library table.

“I’m looking for Andy. Can you tell him I’m here?” You insist, ignoring his lecherous grin.

“Back for more, huh? I’m sure I could help you with that,” he winks.

You scoff and cross your arms, “just tell me where he is. Please.”

He huffs and shrugs off your rejection, “upstairs, third floor.”

He turns and descends back down the steps while screaming incorrect lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody then disappears into the crowd. You shake off the awkward interaction and feel suddenly motivated to climb the stairs, at least you’ll put some distance between yourself and the party below. If only you knew the real trouble would be waiting as you reach the third floor.

You pass by several open doors on the second story, people sitting around playing drinking games or sneaking off for some privacy. A pair of girls pass by on your way to the next floor complaining loudly about how no one takes the theme for these parties seriously.

“Why do I bother making these outfits if half the people don’t even dress up?” She whines.

Her friend laughs and tosses her curly hair over her shoulder, “we look hot, who cares.”

They giggle and ignore you as you arrive on the third floor landing. They open a closed door just to the left and disappear into a room blasting EDM. Feeling hopelessly lost, and hesitant to just start testing doors, you take out your phone and text Andy, “I’m here.”

You wait near the stairs, pacing back and forth so you can peek down both long hallways. A door suddenly slams open right in front of you and the large man from the front door is standing there stark naked with a desperate look on his face. You stand there like a deer in headlights as he comes bounding toward you, huge and hard, before veering off to pound on random doors.

“CONDOM! Condom! I need a condom!” He bellows, unashamed of his nudity as people start popping their heads out to look.

There are several wolf whistles and a few jokes shouted from his fellow fraternity brothers before a deep voice cuts through the jeers.

“Nicky, here!” A whole sleeve is hurled down the hall and to your dismay he then bends down to pick it up.

Your hand slaps across your eyes too late to prevent the image of his hairy ass and balls from burning into your cornea. You press yourself to the wall as he runs back toward you and quickly shuts himself in his room.

Admittedly, you had never understood the whole trauma behind being flashed until this moment. It really isn’t a pleasant sensation to be that exposed to a stranger, especially when you aren’t expecting it. Something about the moment rattles you, vulnerability and disgust make you sway as you finally recognize the compromising position you put yourself in by coming here.

“There she is,” Andy’s voice draws you from your spiraling thoughts and you watch him walk down the hall to meet you.

The all black outfit is tight, hugging his muscles enticingly, a shift from the usual pressed button ups and slacks you normally see him in. But it’s the grey handcuffs dangling from his belt loop on his hip that really grab your attention.

He notices your concern and laughs, “don’t worry, these ones are fake. I keep the good ones in my room.”

He loops his arm around your shoulders and escorts you to the end of the hall to the large corner room. You appreciate the quiet, and the lack of musty odor as you enter the tidy space. He closes the door softly behind you and you feel his fingers trail across your shoulders, tugging at the hood of your bulky sweatshirt.

“This just won’t do,” he tuts.

You feel that familiar heat rush to your face at his disapproval, “I just came to pick up the papers Andy. I’m not looking to impress anyone.”

He hums and circles you, grabbing your chin as he stops in front of you, “you came here because I told you to.”

You scowl back at him, your jaw aching as he tightens his grip. He releases you and walks back to the door with a huff.

“Kyle!” He pauses until he hears a response, “bring me the box of leftovers!”

You stand there confused as he leaves the door open and circles you, sizing you up. He tilts his head as he considers you and reaches for the hem of your sweatshirt. He tugs it up and it catches on your arm as you try to pull it back down and smack his hand away harshly. A deep inhale through his nose is the only warning you get before he is suddenly in your face, his chest pressed to yours.

“Hit me again, and see what happens,” he growls threateningly.

You stare at him, blinking dumbly and at a complete loss for words when someone busts into the room carrying a beaten up cardboard box. Andy steps past you and retrieves the box before closing you in once again.

He tosses the box on the desk and begins silently undressing you. You flinch at his rough treatment but otherwise put up little fight. He rifles through the mystery box and pulls out something sparkly. Your brow furrows when he tosses a small bundle of fabric at you and barks a simple, “put it on.”

You obediently tug the tight dress over your head and adjust the thin straps as best you can, trying to hide your bulky bra.

“Take off the bra,” he orders.

You reluctantly slip off the straps and pull it out from under the dress, feeling completely ridiculous. You suppress the desire to ask where the clothes came from, but based on the name of the box you could probably make a guess. The sequined top hugs your chest tightly and the skirt flairs out, the short hem tickling the tops of your thighs. How do people wear this as a dress, you feel like your ass is completely on display, but, come to think of it, that’s probably the point.

“This is supposed to get people to take me seriously?” You mutter as you look down at yourself.

“No. This is just for me,” he smirks as he nears you.

You back up and hit the door, “wait, wait, please. I’ll do the grading, ok? But please don’t… just don’t,” you whimper, quivering under his hungry gaze.

“I can get anyone to do that,” he returns flippantly.

“Then why? Why are you doing this?” You plead.

“Don’t act like you didn’t like it. I was there remember? It was my cock you used to get yourself off in the middle of the library, while my buddies watched,” he drags his fingertips up your arms, pleased with the goosebumps left behind. “I felt that tight pussy come all over my lap like a good little slut. I know exactly what you need, but I’m starting to think you still don’t.”

You gasp at his vulgarity, hot tears pricking your eyes as it sends an unwanted spark between your legs. You close your eyes as he tickles along the low neckline before squeezing your chest firmly. He hums at the shaky breath you let out. His touch, a tantalizing mixture of gentle but firm. His confidence, that dominant aura that makes you weak and you can’t help the muffled moan that escapes as he tweaks your nipples through the rough fabric.

“That’s right,” he whispers. “I’m exactly what you need. In fact you should be thanking me.”

He pulls back and his hand grips the back of your neck, urging you to your knees. You let out a sob and try to push him away, but he grabs your wrists and pins them to the door above your head. He places a foot on either side of your knees, keeping you completely immobile while he unzips his pants with one hand.

You close your eyes, tears cooling your cheeks as you listen to the fabric rustle. Something soft and warm pokes at your quivering lips and you yield to his unspoken demand. He groans as he ventures deep into your hot mouth, your cheeks aching due to his above average girth. He feels even bigger than you remember as he starts gliding his shaft over your tongue.

“Ah, fuck,” he sighs, tapping the back of your throat and listening to you choke. “I could listen to that all day.”

You struggle to breath as he becomes more eager, interrupting your gasps with his quick thrusts. You feel him grow harder and harder as he fucks your face without relent, head thumping loudly against the door at your back.

You pull against his hold on your arms as you feel your sight start to blur, your chest tight with lack of oxygen. Just as you feel as you are about to collapse an insistent knock has Andy cursing and pulling back enough for you to take a big gulp of air.

“What?” Andy barks, slapping his hand over your mouth.

“Hey, sorry man, but Laurie is here and she’s looking for you,” a hurried voice mutters against the door.

“Fuck,” he growls, running his hand through his hair. “Ok, wait right there,” he orders to his friend.

He tucks himself back into his pants, pinning his erection as best he can into the elastic of his briefs. He grabs you by the hair and pulls you to your feet. He wipes your face, clearing away the tears and fixing your dress before yanking the door open and shoving you out of the room. Tripping over your own feet you stumble into the awaiting arms of the other goon from the library.

“Ethan is going to take you to the party, don’t try anything stupid and I might reward you later,” Andy warns, dragging his thumb over your swollen bottom lip.

Ethan’s hold tightens on your upper arm as Andy turns to him, “put her in the cage if she steps out of line. I won’t be long.”

“Cage?” You fret and Ethan shushes you, pulling you along.

As you reach the end of the hall you hear a feminine voice calling up the stairs, “Andy?”

“I’m here, hun! Come on up,” Andy returns and you look over your shoulder to see him raise a finger to his lips in warning, his eyes full of dark promises should you disobey.

A petite girl with alabaster skin and dark brown hair smiles politely as she passes you at the top of the stairs. The urge to say something is there but so is the fear of Andy’s wrath. Ethan pulls you along and you stay quiet until you reach the main floor.

“He has a girlfriend?” you ask quietly.

“Why? Jealous?” He snorts, pushing you toward the basement stairs. “Come on, let’s go dance. You can bounce that ass on me just like you did with him in the library.”

Your heart races as you eye the front door and try to push past him. He catches you and pulls you back against his chest, “cage it is then.”

The strobe and laser light machine make you squint as the bass vibrates your entire body, hammering your ears painfully. If anyone could hear your protests you doubt they were sober enough to do anything. Half naked girls grind against sweaty young men, some forsaking all sense of modesty as they fondle each other against the walls. A raised DJ booth sits on one end of the room while the other is lined with shoddily-built “jail”s.

Large rough structures clearly made by a few members of the house who fancy themselves a future handy man. A few individual ‘cell’s house girls dancing provocatively while greedy hands reach for them through the bars. With a slam and a click you find yourself alone in the tight space, watching the girl next to you gyrate her hips to the music, holding the bars so she could flip her hair around.

“Come on! Get it girl!” She yells at you, shaking her ass at you in some bizarre form of motivation.

You glance back at Ethan, standing with his arms crossed, taking his assignment a bit too seriously. He nods expectantly and you shut your eyes bouncing awkwardly off beat. Ethan leans in, and yells loud enough for you to hear, “gotta do better than that or I’ll tell Andy you tried to run.”

You gulp and try to loosen up, shutting out everything except the music. You face the wall, not wanting to see if anyone is watching and reach out to hold the bars as you dip low and rotate your hips. After a few songs it gets easier, visualizing you are alone in your room. Eventually the girl next to you leaves, yet you still refuse to look behind you.

Something brushes against your thigh and you freeze, shimmying away as your hem gets caught in someone’s fist. They tug hard, pulling you closer and you resist, trying to catch the fabric along your chest before it slips down too far.

You bat away the hand as you squint through the darkness and see a flash of a familiar bearded jawline. Andy flicks open the latch and stands there stoically, waiting for you to step down. Your knees wobble, partially from all the dancing but mostly due to the stern expression that greets you. He looks pissed and you wonder why. He gestures back toward the stairs and you solemnly march back up to his room, a growing dread filling you as you finally step foot inside and the door clicks shut.

Biting your tongue, you suppress the questions and the outrage you feel, too far gone to fight back now. It seems as though he really can get away with anything. His power is what scares you, but it’s also what has you submitting so easily.

“Now where were we?” He coos, his warm hands sliding up your arms to grip your shoulders.

You shiver as he pulls down the straps and slowly glides his hands down to fondle your breasts. He squeezes firmly, holding them and jiggling them in his palm. He plays with you and you feel him grow hard against your back. The mixture of his soft lips and scratchy beard along your neck as he kisses you gently has you sagging against him, not necessarily relaxed, but relief that he doesn’t seem angry.

Just like the cage, you find yourself getting lost in the sensation, separating yourself from reality as you unconsciously wiggle your hips. The feel of your ass against his length has him growling and nipping at your collarbone. His hand flies up to hold your neck as he walks you forward and bends you over his desk.

“Stay,” he orders as he leans up, dragging his nails down your back.

He flips up the hem of your dress and hooks his fingers under your panties. His fingers dig into your skin once again as he slowly rakes them over your ass and down the back of your legs until your underwear hangs from your ankles. You can feel the scratch marks along your skin as he then smooths his palms back up over your heated skin. Every touch is deliberate, a yin and yang of pain and pleasure.

“Look at you, I’ve only just got your panties off and you are already dripping,” he says as he drags a finger through your folds.

The sound of him sucking on his finger followed by the lewd pop of its release has you clenching as he hums in delight. You struggle to stay still, hips twisting wantonly in search of friction.

“Such a shame I can’t reward you like I wanted to. You had been doing so well, but you just had to try and run.”

You gasp at his words, chest tightening in fear, “Andy, I-“ but your defense is cut short by a sharp slap. Your ass stings as tears blur your eyes, your hands clinging to the rounded edge of the desk.

“Do you know how hard it was to sit there and listen to her prattle on about the damn charity benefit she wants me to go to this weekend? All I could think about was how cute you look with my cock stuffed down your throat.”

You whimper as he scratches over the swell of your ass, the rough treatment making it extra sensitive, which somehow adds to the dampness between your thighs. Trembling in anticipation you wait as his fingers trail between your cheeks and poke at your hot, wet entrance. He presses in, barely getting half a finger inside before pulling back out, making you groan in disappointment. What is wrong with you? Why do you feel like you want this?

“I had been looking forward to feeling your cunt on my tongue, watching you unravel, crying out desperately, screaming my name.”

He spreads your ass, the delicate skin stretching to the point of discomfort and with a grunt he buries himself inside you. You welcome him easier than last time, your body practically buzzing with arousal as he fills you completely. Your brain is fuzzy, no thoughts other than the pleasure that lights your skin, a burning need for more.

“Oh god,” you cry, circling your hips to find that perfect spot.

Another harsh slap to the back of your thigh has you biting the edge of the desk, grounding you as you fight the overwhelming urge to move.

“That’s your second warning. I was lenient in the library, but now you have to mind the rules,” he lectures calmly, your walls clenching at his serious tone. “We’ll start easy… First you say ‘thank you’ when I use you. And second, you don’t cum unless I tell you to. Understand?”

You cry but nod slowly.

“Good girl,” he praises and draws his hips back, cock dragging against your walls agonizingly slow.

He sets a steady pace, slow but forceful as his breaths get heavier, punctuated with pleasured moans. His grip settles on your hips and his thrusts get harder. Your climax builds, though you focus on keeping still and holding off, but the harder you try to resist the faster it seems to grow.

“Please, I can’t…” you beg, reminiscent of the last time he had you like this.

“Are you close?” He asks huskily.

You nod your head rapidly, your whole abdomen clenching as you try to stop from falling over that enticing ledge. In that moment he speeds up, frantically rutting into your core as you cling to the desk, body sliding back and forth as he chases his own release.

A moment of clarity through the euphoric haze has you wondering why you are holding it in to please this man who is clearly taking advantage of you. You decide to let go, your orgasm growing until you are about to explode. You’ll deal with the repercussions later, for now you need that liberation.

“Fuck,” Andy bellows suddenly, pulling out of you and coming with labored groans, his hot seed spilling up your back.

A pathetic whine escapes as you morn the loss of your quickly dissipating orgasm. You sob into the desk, the aching need in your core souring as you realize he did it on purpose, his cruel laughter echoing through the room.

“Shouldn’t have tried to run, dove,” he pants, wiping his sticky hands on your ass. “You’re in for a long night.”

Tags: @darkficsyouneveraskedfor @caffiend-queen @queenoftheworldisdead @buttercupfangirl @needleandhammer

[lisbonsteresa]

We Keep This Love (In a Photograph) (Nancy x Ace)

The first time he finds the photo is the day after the food festival. 

He arrives at the Claw late, rushing to shove his jacket into his locker and get to the kitchen before George notices his absence, when something crinkles unexpectedly in the pocket. Reaching in, he pulls out the polaroid - a bit wrinkled, the right corner completely folded over - but still in one piece even after the events of the day before. He stares at it for a moment, crouching in front of his open locker, trying to recall when he had acted on the impulse to grab it off the coffee table in their rush to leave, and before he can stop to realize what he’s doing he’s studying the picture’s subject instead. Hair falling into her eyes, dirt from the tunnels still smeared across her face, her features set in an expression of determined focus as she dug into the box of files Carson had procured for her, still looking so perfectly…Nancy. A small grin crosses his face as he remembers her amused reaction to the flash of the camera turning into a sincere smile as Carson told her how proud of her he was - Because of her testimony. The grin drops off his face as the memories of the rest of the day rush back into sharp focus. The sense of uselessness he’d felt as he’d dangled from that railing and watched his life be traded for the lives of countless others; the terrifying amount of finality he’d heard in her ‘I couldn’t lose you.’; the way there was no doubt in his mind about what “favor” Celia had asked for in return - a favor that for all he knows Nancy could be fulfilling right this moment. 

As if summoned by his own despondent thoughts, the door to the storeroom suddenly bursts open and Nancy rushes in, her coat hanging off of one arm as she fastens her hair into a hurried bun. Her mad dash stops short upon seeing him, and as their eyes meet he’s suddenly overwhelmed by all the things he wants to say to her; all the things he held back the day before while Grant was around. The questions of  ‘How could you -’ and ‘Why would you -’ and the arguments starting with ‘This will ruin your -’ and ‘I’m not worth -’ cycle around each other in his mind, and he can tell that something’s about to slip out his mouth but he can’t make the connection between them to know what it’ll be - And then suddenly he doesn’t have to. George’s annoyed voice rings out from the kitchen, and he’s never heard the phrase ‘saved by the boss’ before, but after this he might consider adopting it. He quickly crumples the photo into a ball and tosses it into his locker, following it with his jacket as if burying the image would help him bury the feelings it brought up. He gives Nancy a curt nod, avoiding whatever he might have seen in her eyes as he turns and heads towards the stairs, knowing there was a difference between delaying something and running away from it, but not quite sure which side this was falling on.

——————————————————————

It’s several months before he sees it again. Long enough for Everett Hudson’s first case to be declared a mistrial due to jury tampering, and for the time between it and his retrial to be just enough to allow Nick and Ryan to find a smoking gun hidden in Tiffany’s files that put the Hudson patriarch away for his full sentence (officially, at least). Long enough for Amanda to turn to him on her doorstep two weeks after the trial and tell him that she and Gil were leaving - finally following up on his lead in Santa Fe. There were kisses goodbye and offers to help in any way he could, but they both agreed it would be better for her to focus on finding her mother, and at this point it’s been long enough that he’s starting to feel like he’s doing okay after the breakup. He’s starting to feel like everything’s back to…whatever passes for normal in Horseshoe Bay. At least, he is until Nancy announces - midway through George’s mandated After Hours End-of-Summer-Cleaning Locker Inspection, no less - that she’s gotten into Columbia. 

His hand had just closed around a crumpled ball of paper in the back of his locker when the words leave her mouth, and the ball stays in his hand even as he joins in on the group hug an ecstatic Bess initiates; as he tells Nancy how happy he is for her; as he reassures George that he’ll close up so she can ride with Nick to the celebration he’s sure Carson has planned for Nancy back at their place. 

It isn’t until he’s left alone in the storeroom and he drops down onto the bench in front of his locker that he notices how tightly he’s been gripping the paper. Or the…not paper, he corrects himself as he notices the different texture of whatever he was holding. A sneaking suspicion comes from the back of his mind as he starts to smooth out the ball, and once the image is revealed in full - slightly faded with the right corner ripping off altogether after he pulls a bit too hard -  he has to fight the urge to crumple the photo again and toss it into the trash. 

Which is a weird impulse, isn’t it? Because he was happy for her, of course he was. This was Nancy’s dream school, after all, and after the year that she’s had, doesn’t she deserve to do what makes her happy? To move on with her - His thoughts stutter to a stop. He shakes his head and tries again. After all, hasn’t he - haven’t they all - known this was coming, sooner or later? Hasn’t he known from the start that Nancy was meant for bigger and better things? That she wasn’t going to hang around forever, not in this nowhere small town, with her ragtag group of friends and the dishwasher who’s been at a standstill since high school -

He’s being unfair, he knows. Because Nancy doesn’t see it, any of it, like that. He knows how much Nancy cares; about Horseshoe Bay, about her friends…about him. She’d told him as much during the countless knock-down-drag-out arguments they’d had after the incident at the paper mill, hadn’t she? But he can feel annoyance - or maybe even anger -  rising up inside him, and if he doesn’t deflect it towards her, then he’ll have to confront himself, and he’s been avoiding that confrontation for months now. He’d have to actually think about why he’s been keeping Nancy at arm’s length even after they’d both said their piece during those arguments. Why he’d been so insistent that they’d ‘gotten back to normal’ when he honestly wasn’t sure he had any idea of what ‘normal’ was for them. It certainly wasn’t the way she’d avoided his eyes when he’d congratulated her, but he wasn’t sure it was the way she had held onto his hand long after everyone else had left their hug either. He’d have to actually think about how he’d wasted so much time pretending there wasn’t still something to fix between them, and how he didn’t know what to feel now that he’s realized they’ve run out of time anyway.

When Amanda had left, it had felt like they were mutually closing a door - calm and maybe a little sad, but with both of them smiling and understanding on their respective sides. Knowing that Nancy was leaving felt like having to struggle with a door against hurricane-level winds, without a clue of what side he wanted to be on once he finally got it closed. But maybe that’s not a fair comparison to make, he rationalizes. After all, he and Amanda were together. He and Nancy have just been…  He looks back down at the polaroid, his thumb running along the torn edge as he considers just what exactly he and Nancy have been, before dragging a hand through his hair with a sigh. Too late to figure it out now, anyway.

He leans forward and slips the photo between the pages of a library book already overdue by a year at the bottom of his locker. So he’ll have something to remember her by, he tells himself, unsure if the unpleasant feeling that settles in his gut as he slams the locker shut is bitterness or just plain sadness.

——————————————————————

Life goes on in Horseshoe Bay, even without Nancy Drew. It’s not until late fall when he sees the photo again. He’s helping George and Nick with the Claw’s first official Allhallowtide event, spending his day helping kids decorate their lanterns whenever he’s not hyping Bess up over text for her ‘very preliminary, very probational, very terrifying!!!!!’ (her exclamation points, not his) first in-person meeting with Aunt Diana since she’d started slowly rebuilding their relationship. 

He’s sitting on the steps leading into the storeroom after one of their longer text exchanges, laughing when George calls out for him to make himself useful and find more markers, but he rises to follow her instructions anyway. It takes him all of 5 minutes to realize that they are completely marker-free, digging through every drawer and pencil holder in the room and coming up with nothing, before he remembers the pack of Crayolas he’s pretty sure survived his last locker clean-out. 

He unloads his jacket, a few books, and the jumbo pack of earplugs he’s been drawing from ever since that siren incident three weeks ago onto the bench to make it easier to find the markers, but the earplugs overbalance the books and everything comes toppling down before he can even look through what’s left in the locker. 

With a sigh, he leans over and picks up the old library book that fell face-down, watching curiously as a square of paper drops out from between the pages and back down onto the floor. A catalogue card, he wonders, or maybe a note someone stashed and forgot about? But as he picks it up and sees the torn right corner, he realizes that not only is it not regular paper, but that he knows exactly what he’s going to see before he flips the item over. 

A shock runs through him all the same once he does, seeing Nancy’s face for the first time in months. He doesn’t have more than a moment to think about that though, as his phone erupts with seven text tones in rapid succession at the same time George’s shouts for him to hurry up reach the storeroom. After a tiny moment of hesitation, he slides the polaroid into his back pocket and shoves everything else back into the locker before making his way back to the dining room, marker-less and contrite. 

That was a mistake. He spends the rest of the day hyperaware of what he’s holding onto, patting his pocket for reassurance it hasn’t slipped out so many times that one of Ted’s friends asks him - with all the seriousness a 9-year old can muster - if he is also suffering from the ‘wedgie-saurus’. 

It isn’t until that night, after he insists that he’ll close up the Claw so Nick and George can stay with her sisters at the lantern-lighting event, that he has a moment alone to actually look at the picture. He straddles the storeroom bench, placing it down in front of him and resting his elbows on his knees so he can lean in close as a sudden wave of guilt hits him. He remembers the way their text conversations had petered out after long stretches of one-word or emoji-only replies; the way her calls had slowly become less and less frequent until they stopped altogether. He still gets weird looks from the others when he makes excuses to avoid their video calls with her; can still hear Bess’s overly-sympathetic voice after she’d spent a long weekend in New York telling him that everything was fine, that Nancy just misses him.

He misses her too; of course he does. Some days he misses her so much the ache of it catches him by surprise. Like when he'd realized his habit of watching the door for the first ten minutes of every shift, still expecting her to rush through it with her name tag missing and an excuse at the ready. When he made a Big Lebowski reference at dinner one night and got nothing other than a confused smile from his mother in response. When he was researching something at the end of the bar and felt a phantom presence at his shoulder, like she was just outside his peripheral, leaning up against him and waiting impatiently for him to turn towards her and give her the answer she was looking for. 

It didn’t seem possible for someone he’d known for barely a year to have become such a big part of every aspect of his life, but everywhere he’s turned for months there seems to be another reminder of Nancy Drew.

And that just makes everything worse. Because he hadn’t been able to give her the answers she might have needed before she left. And now, now that he’s had the time to figure those answers out, now that they kept him up at night, running endlessly through his head while he stares dejectedly at the ceiling, he doesn’t know if they’re still the same answers she was looking for now. And he’s terrified by the thought that they might not be. He’s gotten himself caught in a mystery he doesn’t know how to solve on his own.

But maybe… His thoughts are interrupted by the chime of the clock hanging above the back door, and he starts when he realizes nearly an hour has passed since he first sat down. Glancing at the photo again, he waits for the urge to tuck it back between the pages of that book; to push his feelings down and avoid having to confront them, but it doesn’t come. 

Something else clicks into place with the last chime of the clock, and holding the polaroid in one hand, he unlocks his phone with the other, ignoring Bess’s 5 recap and 2 goodnight texts for the moment while he taps the contact info for the only other person he’s sure will be awake at midnight on a Tuesday. 

She picks up on the first ring. “Ace?” 

Her voice sounds tired, maybe even a little worried, but so deeply familiar his heart jumps into his throat just at the sound of her saying his name. “Hey, Nancy.” he begins, unable to hold back a small smile as he looks down at her picture. “Can we talk?”

Maybe he doesn’t have to solve this one alone.

Maybe neither of them do.

——————————————————————

Nancy’s bright hair makes her easy to spot, even from his position across the train platform. He watches as she peers through the crowd, noticing him with a grin and a tiny wave, before he pushes off from the wall and starts to make his way over to meet her. 

He’d practically had to fight Ryan to be the one picking her up, he imagines telling her as she laughs. The man had been ready to push him down in the driveway until Carson had stepped in to - heavily, mind you - imply that maybe Nancy and Ace could use a little ‘alone time’. 

That part he might keep to himself, actually. It was bad enough that Carson acted like he was in on some big secret every time he got off the phone with his daughter; he didn’t need her wondering why both her father figures were trading smug smiles every time the four of them were in a room together. 

He realizes too late that he’d gotten caught up in his thoughts and that Nancy was suddenly standing less than a foot away from him. “Hi.” he murmurs, the memory of their last - somewhat awkward - reunion tugging at the back of his mind. (He almost wished his arm was still in a sling. Then at least he’d only have to worry about what to do with one of his hands).

“Hi.” she replies in the same tone, her own hands twisting nervously in the strap of her bag, but a beaming smile on her face. It was the same smile he’d seen during their almost daily video calls for the past month and a half, but he hadn’t thought to prepare for the way it makes his heart flip to see it directed at him, live and in person.

“H-how’s Columbia?” he manages to only stumble over the first word, but it doesn’t really seem to matter because suddenly Nancy’s dropped her luggage and launched herself at him, throwing her arms around his neck and clinging to him while his arms instinctively wrap around her, pulling her closer still as he breathes in the fact that this is really happening, that it’s not a dream he’s going to wake up from to find the calendar mockingly reminding him there was another three days until her holiday break started.

He’s not sure how long they stay there, wrapped up in each other while the rest of the world moves around them, but when they finally pull away he knows his smile is as bright as hers. There’s a lot they still have to share - he hasn’t told her about his first day interning with John Sander yet, and she has a copy of the Daily Spectator with her first front page article stowed safely in her bag - and a lot - the distance, their schedules, missing each other - that they still have to figure out. But as he holds out his hand and Nancy takes it in hers, intertwining their fingers as if it was the most natural thing in the world, Ace can’t find it in himself to worry. 

Whatever happens, they’ll figure out a way to solve it. Together.

——————————————————————

(She finds the photo less than a week later; sees it hanging on the inside of his locker when she stops by the Claw to help them decorate for the holidays. Bess is beside herself at somehow being one of the last to know, but Ace can’t really focus on anything other than the look in Nancy’s eyes as she pulls him in for a kiss.)

[jerzwriter]

What was Casey's very first date in her life (not with her current partner) like? How about Ethan and Tobias's? Besides Ethan or Tobias who was her best first date?

Hi Nonny,

Thanks for the ask! Lets take a look at the three first dates below:

Casey:

She did not have much interest in dating in high school. She really wanted to focus on her studies and spend the little spare time she had with family and friends. She figured she'd have time for relationship drama in the future (boy, was she right). So I would think her first date was with her first boyfriend, Ryan. They were friends first and had hung out together a lot. One day they were at a local diner with friends and when Casey got up to use the bathroom, Ryan waited for her outside the door and asked if she'd want to go out with him. Weird, but he had to do it when he got up the nerve. She said yes, and he said now? They left the diner (and their friends) and went off alone they were so busy laughing that they didn't even know what to do. He knew Casey loved (and missed) her hometown of Philadelphia so much, so they got in his car and drove there (about a 30 min ride).

Since he lived in a Philly suburb, Ryan had certainly been there before, but Casey showed him around like only a true native to the city could. Ryan wanted to have the best cheesesteak in Philly and asked her if they should go to Geno's or Pat's. Casey laughed and chided him for being a "tourist" when he lived so close to Philly his whole life. She took him to John's Roast Pork, the real place to get the best cheesesteaks in town. Ryan was so impressed that as they shared a sandwich on a nearby bench, he leaned over and kissed her.

They dated for 6 months after that but broke up when Casey went off to NYU. They remained friends, neither expected it to be forever.

Ethan:

I see Ethan as having an accidental first date. I picture him as a late bloomer, a bit of a nerd in high school, and hyper-focused on his studies and getting out of Providence. It's not that he didn't have an interest in dating, it just wasn't a priority.

But there was a girl who was in most of his AP classes with him. She had a crush on him throughout HS, and though she was pretty and they got along well, he just never saw it. (It's Ethan we're talking about). So they had a big project due together at the end of senior year, they made plans to meet at the library on Saturday and he suggested they get a bite to eat at a local pizzeria after.

When he arrived on Saturday, he was surprised to see she was more dressed up than usual, and a bit nervous too. He didn't make much of it and they got to work on their project. After eating, he walked her home (it was on his way) and she reached up and kissed his cheek. It was only then he realized she assumed it was a date.

They did go on a few dates after, but she was off to college at Princeton. Ironically, Ethan ended up attending Brown... in Providence.

Tobias:

Unlike the other two, Tobias WAS interested in dating. He was also very intelligent, but it came easy to him and he didn't spend every waking moment studying. He wasn't all that crazy about the kids who did. He had a social life and gave his parents a run for their money from a young age.

He knew a girl from his grandparent's neighborhood, they had grown up together since he spent a lot of time there. By the time he was 13 he had been crushing on her for a while already, so he decided to ask her out. She told him her parents said she couldn't date until she was 16, so he was about to accept defeat when she said "so we have to make sure they don't know."

She told her parents she had a school project to do and needed to go to the Smithsonian Museum of American History on Saturday, and that's where she met Tobias. They immediately left and caught a movie (Independence Day), had at a sidewalk café after, and then made out at a local park.

They went on a few dates after, but her parents found out and forbade her from seeing him again. They still did when he was in the neighborhood, but only under the watchful eye of his grandparents (who nearly killed him for embarrassing them with his behavior).

Thanks for the ask! :)

@liaromancewriter

[marshmallow-phd]

Nine Little Letters

Genre: College AU, Fake Dating AU, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before AU

Inspired By: This graphic made by @rcse-tvler​

Pairing: EXO x Reader

Summary: Just when you thought life was done shoving you down, it got much, much worse. After finding out that your latest crush was already in a relationship, you did what you always did when emotions ran high: you wrote a letter. Signed and sealed, you put it away with the eight other letters you’d written to past one-sided loves, never to be seen again. That is, until a mix up accidentally sends those letters out to their respective recipients and you find yourself in the middle of one confusing web of love. With fake relationships, insecurities, and revelations swirling around, things are bound to get a little messy.

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11

This was the worst kind of humiliation. Standing there on the sidewalk staring open-mouthed at the one person you were excited to see today, you were crumbling into a million pieces. And no one even noticed. That was what made this humiliation so bad; there was no one to witness it. You were breaking and no one cared.

You should have known better, really. This morning was going too well. You had woken up on time, had a delicious, filling breakfast, and had managed to put an outfit together worthy of any Pinterest board. Your confidence was through the roof and you were going to do the one thing in your life you swore you would never do.

You were going to confess to your crush.

Signing up for math tutoring was the last thing you wanted to do. Who in the world wanted to spend their valuable free time learning more about equations and algorithms? But you needed to pass this class. It was the second time you’d taken college algebra and the thought of taking it a third time made you want to crawl under your bed. So, you buckled down and took the walk of shame into the math lab. (Yes, that was an exaggeration. Everyone knows there is no shame in getting help. Didn’t mean you had to like it.) When you got the call from your assigned tutor, you ignored it. You didn’t like talking on the phone to anyone let alone a number you didn’t recognize. No voicemail was left. Then a text came through.

Hi, (y/n)! This Kim Junmyeon! I’ve been assigned as your math tutor. When you get a chance, let me know when you’re free so we can create a schedule that works for you. Have a great day!

You waited an appropriate amount of time before replying. So, an hour and half later, you texted him your schedule and made a plan to meet up in the library the following Thursday. You marked that day on your calendar with exactly zero enthusiasm. In your head, this Kim Junmyeon was the cliché nerd from movies: dorky glasses, snort-like laugh, and clothes that looked better on a grandfather. Oh, boy were you so happy to be wrong.

Sitting down at one of the tables by the large, ceiling high windows, Junmyeon was nothing like you’d imagined. He had a sophisticated aura about him. He dressed nicely, a thin long-sleeved shirt over a patterned button down, the collar laid nicely over the top of the shirt, and was blessed with sharp, handsome features. You knew you were in trouble. But you didn’t care. You sat down at that table eagerly, ready to… learn.

For the past month and a half, you’d met Junmyeon twice a week to go over the lessons and work on the assignments. By some miracle, your grade was actually going up in the class. Somehow you were able to better comprehend the material and secretly fawn over your tutor simultaneously. At this point, you were sort of feigning how much you weren’t understanding to keep the tutoring sessions going. The nice thing about algebra, once you understood the basics, everything else built on top of it.

But today – today you had decided that you were going to step over the line from tutor and student into the realm of perhaps something more.

You liked Junmyeon. You liked his math puns and the way he scrunched his face when he thought hard about something. His lips would pucker whenever he lifted the sheet of paper to check over your work. Each time you met up with him your heart acted like it was in the middle of a NASCAR race and it was determined to win. You had it bad. This wasn’t the first time you’d had a crush like this, but you had set your mind on making this one different. This time, you wouldn’t hold it inside. You were going to be the brave one, the bold one. The fact that birds were tweeting as you rode your bike onto campus should have been a sign that things would only be downhill from there. Unfortunately, like the optimistic idiot, you took it as a positive instead.

After locking your bike up, you headed straight for the courtyard near the pond. Junmyeon had told you that he often spent his mornings there to finish up homework or to read a book (the fact that he read so much was another factor in your liking of him). In your head, he was all alone, flipping through a novel as he leaned against the trunk of a tree, looking like a prince taking a rest in the shade on a warm summer’s day. The water would be glistening in the background as a lovely, lighthearted melody played softly through the air. He would see you approach and smile that wide, brilliant smile. Your heart would skip as you sat down in the grass next to him and poured out your feelings. The daydream turned into a nightmare the second he came into view.

Junmyeon was not alone nor was he sitting under a tree with a book. He was on one of the benches, splayed out on the wooden beams with his head resting in the lap of a very pretty, more his league type of girl. She laughed as Junmyeon told a story. A delicate hand ran through his soft brown hair. Your heart fell to the ground, forming a crater at your feet.

Shoulders slumped and day ruined, you turned and headed for the student union. If today was going to suck like this, then you were going to sprinkle it with an overly sugary coffee drink. Preferably with extra chocolate drizzle. It helped - a little bit.

Your morning classes went by in a blur. You were certain you took notes, but none of the information sank in. Later you would have to transcribe your quick scribbles to a word document to help you study. You would learn the information then. By lunch, you were starting to peel yourself off the sidewalk of humiliation. Especially when the one person you could always rely on joined you for lunch.

“How did it go?”

You remained silent, continuously munching on the sandwich in your hands as your best friend sat down across from you at the small, two-person table near the middle of the cafeteria.

Baekhyun laughed his signature, SpongeBob-like laugh. “That bad, huh? I told you not to do it.”

“Technically, I didn’t do it,” you corrected. “He already has a girlfriend.”

“Ouch.”

You nodded. How could you not see this before? Did he mention having a girlfriend and you just blocked it out? Junmyeon and you talked casually between math problems, about your friends and fun things you liked to do on the weekends. He’d failed to mention one very important detail.

“Well,” Baekhyun reached over and plucked a potato chip off your plate and plopped it in his mouth, “at least you found out before you said something. I told you he wasn’t worth it.”

“Just because he has a girlfriend doesn’t mean he isn’t worth crushing on.”

“Okay. Whatever you say.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “You’re so much help.”

Ignoring your quip, Baekhyun snatched another chip. You smacked his hand, but all that managed to do was break off a few pieces, the crumbs falling to the table. Smiling proudly, Baekhyun popped the half-chip into his mouth. “So, are you just going to go home and write a letter?”

“Are you just going to go home and write a letter?” you mocked with a scrunched face.

Byun Baekhyun had been your best friend since the two of you had met in the first grade. He’d stolen your popsicle that your mother had packed as a special treat for your first full day of school. When he saw you start to cry, he broke off the piece he’d been sucking on and handed the rest back to you. There was a bit of a disagreement on the level of nice-ness that act achieved since it was your popsicle to begin with, but somehow it caused the two of you to be inseparable ever since. Being your best friend meant that he was privy to the more private parts of your life.

Like the letters.

Starting as young as ten years old, you’d developed a bit of a tradition when it came to your crushes. Emotions were hard to process, but you found them easier to work through if you thought about them and translated them into words. Those words would fly across the paper, transferring the feelings that made you both laugh and cry into the graphite that formed them. Not to mention, the act made you feel like the heroine in a rom-com. Certainly it was something that Meg Ryan or Rachel McAdams would do once they realized how they felt about the male lead.

The first letter you ever wrote was during your final year of ballet class. Dancing had been a part of your life since you were three, but a new passion had been discovered so you’d decided to quit after this last cluster of classes. A terrible decision, really. Because right after your mind was already made up, a new boy had joined the class.

Kim Jongin.

He had just moved into town after his father was promoted to a new position and had to transfer to headquarters. You’d never seen him at the park or the grocery store before. He was completely new. And beautiful.

He was blessed golden skin that glistened, shining brighter the longer he danced. And, oh, the way he danced. It was well beyond what anyone else could do. His movements were fluid, water-like, as if the very beat of the music were pulling and manipulating his limbs to convey what the notes had to say. Each move was a word and when he formed them together, they could make you smile or cry. And when he smiled… oh, his smile was like starlight. The kind of brightness that stayed in the sky even as the city lights flickered on. To this day, you’d never found one that could rival it. He was a dream that every composer coveted. So, what was your young heart to do?

Well, the movies told you to confess. But there was no way you could find the courage to do so, especially since you only saw him in class and you couldn’t confess in front of everyone. The only other option was to write it out; to write it out like Jane Austen pouring her heart out for Tom Lefroy.

 Dear Jongin,

I’m not sure how to start this. Do I compliment you on your dancing? It’s nothing like I’ve seen before. Prima Donnas in the Russian Ballet would be jealous of you! But you probably hear that all the time. And about how handsome you are, even under all that hair. I can’t help but watch when you pull it back for class so you can see yourself in the mirror. Why can’t I look like that? I somehow ended up looking like a frizzy wet cat that just climbed out of the tub.

I guess what I’m trying to avoid saying is that… I like you. A lot. I like your laugh and your wide smile. I like how much you love music and how you interpret the melody with your moves. No one can freestyle like you! My heart does a dance of its own whenever I see you. I hope you don’t have anyone that you like, just so I can stand a chance. Would you ever think of me like that? If not, it’s okay. I just needed to tell you. Someday, you’ll be on stage dancing to an audience of thousands and I’ll be right there in the front row, cheering you on! Until then, I hope you always find happiness in what you love.

Love,

(y/n).

 That sentence about watching him on stage made you cringe in hindsight. Cute for a ten-year-old, but a bit stalkerish. Luckily, though, you never gave it to him. You chickened out every time up until the last class. The idea of him opening it and reading right there in front of you was mortifying. So, then, you decided to mail it. The teacher gave you his address after you told her you wanted to invite him to your birthday party (it should be a little worrisome that a teacher was willing to pass on private information like that… perhaps it was because you were a kid). Three times you went to the mailbox to send the letter out and three times you ran back inside to hide it under your mattress.

That was the beginning of your weird little tradition. Though you never sent the letter to Jongin, you felt better having somewhat confessed your feelings and worked through them without the humiliation of actually… doing it. So, the next time you had a crush so overwhelming that you needed to get the feelings out, you wrote a letter. You even went all the way each time to address the envelope, giving the confession a sense of finality. There was no fear in them ever going out. Baekhyun was the only other one in the world who knew of their existence. At the current moment, eight were hidden in a drawer in your vanity. The way your fingers were itching, a ninth one was on the way.

“I might,” you finally replied.

Baekhyun leaned forward eagerly. “Can I read it when you’re done?”

“No!”

He snapped his fingers as he sat back in his chair. “Darn.”

“Why am I even friends with you?”

“Because I’m charming.”

There was no question in his voice. He one-hundred percent believed it. And… to be honest, he did have his moments. But that was all in the past. “Like a plank of wood.”

Shaking his head, Baekhyun rapped his hands on the table before standing up. “Alright, I’m going to class. Have fun with your pencil and imagination.” For emphasis on his stupid remark, he stole one last chip before walking off.

You finished off your sandwich in a bit of a rage. By the time you were finished, your mouth muscles were aching as if you’d spent several hours at the gym and it was jaw day.

You only had one class left for the afternoon. But it was algebra. How were you supposed to concentrate on functions when your sad attempt at getting into a relationship with your tutor failed so epically? Somehow you managed, though, and you packed up at the end of class with a new sort of determination. As you hopped on your bike and rode home, you thought over what you were going to write. You were so lost in your head that you hadn’t notice the car pulling out of your neighbor’s driveway, nearly hitting you before the driver hit their brakes.

“Shoot!”

You back peddled to break. Your heart thumped in your chest. No life memories flashed before your eyes, but you were sure you almost died. Slowly, you moved forward to get out of the way of the car. 

“I’m sorry!” you yelled over your shoulder.

The driver leaned out the window.

Oh, great.

It was your neighbor. Or, at least, your neighbor’s son. Do Kyungsoo. He stared at you with an expression that could be blank but could also be a glare. It was hard to tell with him. Shaking his head, he pulled back inside the car and drove away.

Fighting off embarrassment for the second time this day - albeit this situation was much lower on the scale and it happened a bit more often than you’d like to admit - you put your bike up in the backyard and headed up to your room. Your mother, a literary history professor, and your father, a doctor at the local hospital, were both at work and wouldn’t be home until well after dinner. You were used to it. Besides, you were an adult and you liked being able to decide to have pizza for dinner and not worry about what other people wanted for toppings. Once you put your order in, you sat down at your vanity and got to work.

 Dear Junmyeon,

Has anyone told you how your hair looks in the sunlight? The dark brown hues seem so warm and inviting, like an ebony chair that was warmed by the unfiltered rays. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to run my finger through it. Would the strands be as soft as they look? Would you wear the same smile on your face that you do during our sessions? But I guess I might not be meant to feel them. Today, I intended to tell you how I felt. I woke up with a determination, a goal to say how much I like you to your face. I was so nervous riding my bike to the university, but it was the good kind of nervous; the kind that makes you keep going. It seemed, however, that I was too late. Or maybe I simply never had a chance at all. I’d missed any signs that said you were already someone else’s.

I hope she knows how lucky she is. I hope she makes you laugh and listens to you when you’re having a bad day. Your laugh is like a symphony. Does she tell you how light and lovely it is? Or how infectious it is? When you laugh, I can’t help but laugh along. It’ll be sad not to hear it anymore. Or have our talks filled with random subject changes. But I think I’ll miss your smile most of all. The way it crinkles your eyes yet still lets them shine. The way it spreads across your face and the way your cheeks grow. It is truly a sight to behold. I hope wherever you go, you are always smiling. You always let your light shine even on the cloudiest of days. That’s what’s so special about you and what made me fall for you. Even when I was frustrated or couldn’t understand, you were patient, taking my mind off of the negative and turning me so I could face the positive. That’s a rare kind of person. You are a rare kind of person. Please always be happy, Kim Junmyeon.

Love,

(y/n)

 With a sigh you sat back in your chair. The letter had done its job. Though you were still sad about the way things turned out, you no longer felt defeated. The words you needed to say were now out there without being “out there”. Okay, so he had a girlfriend. Big deal. It wasn’t the end of the world. There were more potential love interests out there that you could find. He was only one and obviously wasn’t the one.

Beginning to smile again, you folded the letter and put it in an envelope. You didn’t have Junmyeon’s address, so you wrote out the address for the math lab. Opening the top drawer of the vanity, you placed the latest addition to your collection under the first envelope. The doorbell rang right as you closed it up again. Oh, thank goodness. Food.

Practically skipping down the steps, you hurried to the front door.

“Hi-” You stopped as soon as you’d opened it. The person waiting on the other side was not the pizza delivery guy - it was Baekhyun. The boxes holding the pizza and cheese sticks you’d order for no one but yourself were in his hands. Over his shoulder, you barely caught sight of the delivery man driving away. “Really?”

“What? I was bored. And hungry.” He flipped open the lid to show you the hot, melted cheese of the appetizer. “Cheese stick?”

Rolling your eyes, you stepped aside so he could come inside.

Baekhyun had been to your home plenty of times in the past so it was easy for him to make himself at home. He didn’t wait for you before pulling plates out of the cabinet and pouring a drink. He even went as far as getting you glass as well. “Thirsty?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

The two of you ate at the kitchen table as your mother had a “no meals in the living room” policy. Small snacks like nuts and popcorn were okay, as long as you didn’t spill any on the couches.

“So… how did the writing go?” Baekhyun asked cheekily between bites.

You shrugged. “Fine. I’m deciding that I’m getting over it.”

Now it was Baekhyun’s turn to roll his eyes. “You always get over them fast.”

“What’s the point of dwelling on the things you can’t change?”

That was always your answer. Yes, the hurt was immediate and painful, but Baekhyun was right, you tended to push it aside rather quickly. That was the whole point of your letters, anyway. Get the feelings out of the way so you could move on. What was the point of clinging on to something like that? You would only end up worse if you stayed in that spot. So, you pushed yourself to move on. And eight times out of nine, it had worked. There was only that one nagging letter that failed to do its job. That particular set of feelings refused to go away even as you looked to other crushes, as you found other boys to like. It was the one you would always wonder about, the one that was completely off limits. The dull ache still crept up every once in a while. If moving on was what you had to do, you would do it. Because you would prefer if you never had to go through something like that ever again.

[changingplumbob]

New Goth Household: Chapter 2, Part 1

Black Widow aspiring Alexander is engaged to elder James. He and his two best friends have moved into the mansion owned by James while they finish university.

In this part the household catch up over breakfast. Later they head to the library where the main trio gossip more than study.

Photo is not from this rotation but it's my favourite pic of the three best mates.

Staying in Willow Creek but moving up from Courtyard Lane to the Sage Estates. Here lies a mansion which has been in the Ryan family for several hundred years. Rather than end his days alone, James has moved in his young fiancé Alexander who is accompanied by his two best friends, Joey and Keira.

James has had a rough life. Despite growing up cushioned by his wealth and white privilege his strict father envisioned a specific life, one that did not allow his son being gay. At his fathers behest he married wealthy debutante Ophelia and endured decades of marriage by her side.

Alexander met James and despite their age difference fell hard for the man who kept things close to his chest. James grappled with his feelings but in the end could not resist the Goth. Finding strength in love he announced his feelings to Ophelia. Yeah, she had a cardiac explosion in response.

With the disappearance of his mother, and the death of his father, Alexander Goth is looking forward to the stability marriage can provide. He would have liked to have his younger brother Milton with him, but Dina Caliente is not budging after wrangling control of the Goth fortune and guardianship.

Joey York may be a tech genius, graduating high school early and already having maxed his programming skill, but can't fight his inherited bro trait. Boy loves to party and his life aspiration is to woohoo 30 different sims. Being aromantic he has no desire for romantic sentiment anyway.

Keira Foster dreams of finding her soulmate. She's left her broken teenage romance behind and has thrown herself into her studies. Despite dreaming of finding the one, she is a loner and prefers spending time with her friends and family that she is close to.

The household is up early for breakfast. A new university term has begun for the young adults.

Joey: Sweet, pancakes

Alexander: I'm impressed they survived the move to be honest

James: You can certainly cook Joey

Joey: You know it bro

Keira: Is this where you thank your Italian heritage

Joey: Si donna *laughs*. Although Deanna's skill seems to be limited like yours

Keira: Hey

Joey: I'm sorry, did you suddenly learn to cook and not tell us? Am I inaccurate?

Alexander: *chuckles*

Keira: I did a terrible grand breakfast one time, one time

Joey: It was so bad the watcher had to save it

James: The watcher can do that

Alexander: Sweets, don't encourage his paranoia

Joey: I may be paranoid but that doesn't mean I'm wrong. The watcher is watching us

Keira: Sure, BRO, sure

Joey: Don't be salty

James: Have you all made plans for tomorrow

Keira: Tomorrow?

Alexander: HALLOWEEN my favourite

Joey: Let's have a party

Keira: Your solution to everything

Alexander: I don't know

James: Well don't worry about me, I'm old but not dead

Alexander: Are you sure

James: Love, if you want to party, have a party

Joey: *cheers*

James: Besides, you love dress up

Alexander: Sweets, you'll offend Keira

Joey: *chuckles*

Keira: OMW stop! You like to act as if my not having had woohoo makes me a prude

James: Me and Ophelia didn't have our first woohoo for years

Joey: But bro- you're gay

Alexander: *snorts*

James: My point is that everyone is ready at different times

Joey: She knows I don't judge her

Joey: You know I don't judge you right

Keira: I know you two make fun, but I also know you were both telling me not to woohoo Morgan if I wasn't ready, and I'm glad I didn't

James: When you find your person Keria, the woohoo will be worth waiting for

Alexander: I'm going to take that as a compliment

Joey: When the time comes I can tell you moves that will drive the ladies wild

James: This is my cue to leave

Alexander: I gotta start on my presentation

Keira: Ugh, same

Joey: I'm only doing two papers and I still have to do one as well

Alexander: Excuse me while I cry

Joey: Thanks bro

Alexander is working on a distinguished degree in language and literature. His core papers this semester are To Thrill & Talk Absurd (charisma) and Chronicling and Memoir (research & debate). For his elective he's doing Intro to Comedy: Life or Art (comedy).

Joey is doing a distinguished degree in computer science. He wants to be a tech guru and entrepreneur. His core class is Breaking Bad Botnets (mischief) while he's chosen Get Knit (knitting) for his elective. Since he started university as a teen he only needs those two to graduate.

Keira is studying a distinguished degree in biology. Her core classes are The Sunlight Cycle (gardening) and The Mathematics of Biology (logic). For her elective she's challenging herself with Baking Macarons and Macaroons (baking). She's not too sure what her plans after university are yet.

When everyone has made an acceptable start they have a late lunch and head to the university library.

Joey: Why are we here, your mansion has a library

Alexander: So I can study where my fiance's wife died, no thanks

Keira: Plus it's nice and quiet here, no distractions

Joey: Except for one

Keira: No idea what you mean

Joey: The cute latina who sings in the music room down below

Alexander: She's got a great voice

Joey: And a great ass

Alexander: Conveniently seen from your favourite spot

Keira: She's not even here, why are we talking about her

Joey: Are you saying you don't call dibs

Keira: I- I don't even know if she's queer okay

Joey: But you agree she's hot

Keira: Of course, I'm not blind you moron

Joey: I thought she flirted with you that time at Pepper's though

Keira: Maybe but she's mentioned her ex since and I get the feeling it was a guy

Alexander: Wait you're texting

Keira: Yeah

Alexander: Since when

Joey: Bro this is what you miss when you're busy with family drama

Alexander: Good to know Dina has also ruined my gossip intake

Joey: Even if her ex is a he, the percentage of bisexuals in this save is way higher than average, so there's a good chance she's bi

Keira: If you say so

Joey: Watcher says so

Alexander: Dude, we're trying to have a serious conversation

Joey: I am serious. Point is, you won't know if she's into chicks unless you ask so don't just assume Keira: Alexander, how did you know James was gay. Like how did you know he'd be receptive

Alexander: I didn't. I just knew he had a fortune and figured it was worth a shot

Joey: I love how you don't even hide you were interested in his money as well

Alexander: He knows and doesn't care so why should anyone else

Keira: That seems like a healthy attitude

Joey: I'm thinking, karaoke machine

Keira: What

Joey: We hire a karaoke machine for the party

Alexander: Because drunken singing is always great

Joey: Because she likes to sing and Keira can use that to get her to come to the party without having to make it a date date

Keira: I guess that could work

Joey: Who's the best genius around

Alexander: You know, I don't feel so good, I think I'm coming down with something

Joey: Perfect

Alexander: What?

Joey: I just meant we'll head back and Keira can stay around here and meet up with Marta

Keira: Maybe I will

Joey: Come on, be brave

Keira: Fine, I'll ask her, doesn't mean she'll say yes

Previous Part (Pancakes) ... Next Part

[emiewritesthings]

little miss cupid - jay halstead

jay halstead x fem!reader

summary: in which y/n tries to introduce jay to the world of online dating.

requested?: nope (but requests are open :))

warnings: unedited, gif not mine

masterlist

“okay, now we need to pick some pictures for your profile.” y/n was sure that jay had stopped listening ages ago, but the man besides her had not moved from his position looking over her shoulder. his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to his body.

strangely, this wasn’t unusual for a friday night. at least for them anyways.

it wasn’t a secret that y/n was known as the cupid in her friendship group. she had been the one to introduce mouch to trudy, the one to track down donna when boden had expressed interest in the teacher and she had been the one to nudge kim and adam to pursue their relationship (not one she bragged about considering the way they had ended not so long ago).

but the one person she couldn’t crack happened to be her best friend. ever since they had met 11 years ago, y/n could only recall jay ever having one real girlfriend. even that had ended after a couple of months due to the two having a row about jay not giving her enough attention.

y/n had tried setting him up with old friends, new friends, even people she had gone to the academy with. but it was no use, jay always found an excuse not to go or why they ‘weren’t the one’. beginning to doubt her own cupid-like abilities, she had resorted to the pat possible option besides from him being alone forever: online dating.

“okay what we working with here, big boy?” y/n’s finger was steady as she scrolled through his photo library. smiling briefly at how the majority of his photos were of the pair. whether they were silly pictures she had taken whilst they were in the way to a crime scene, or snaps of nights they’d spent watching classics, or even drunk pictures that y/n had hoped never to see again.

“what about that one?” jay pointed towards the corner picture, drawing y/n’s attention to the man. she took in the way his eyes had lightened a whole three shades, but his eyes were not on the phone, instead they were studying each intricate detail of her face. 

he loved the way part of her eyebrow missed a few strands of hair due to a small scar based on a work injury. he loved the way her lips were a bright shade of pink due to the way she would bit her bottom lip while concentrating. he loved her. 

“jay you can’t use that one, i’m in it.” y/n giggled, the picture had been taken on jay’s birthday a couple of months back. unlike his normal attire, he was dressed out in a nice shirt that he only brought out for special events and occasions. his arms held the woman that was perched upon his lap, arms around his neck as she smiled widely. 

“why not? you look beautiful.” jay argued back, making a blush appear on the cheeks of them both. a strange sensation filling her stomach and spreading warmth through her veins.

“uh-thank you.” eyes wide, jay seemed to realise his slip up. bringing his hand up to scratch the back of his neck, y/n had half expected for him to release her from their close proximity, but neither of them dared breaking contact. “-but your future girlfriend doesn’t want to see you holding some other woman, they want to see you shirtless, or you with a puppy. something that speaks for itself about what you are like, you know?” 

the look of thought covered his face for no more than a second, his finger slowly tracing down her arm calmly. y/n tried not to melt into his touch, not knowing why she felt so vulnerable, so weak. 

"well this photo tells them about the woman i love the most.” 

it wasn’t that y/n didn’t know this. jay was the most important man in her life. he was the only one that had always been there since the age of just 17. she was not sure if it was possible to care more about a person than the affection she shared for jay. yet hearing it out loud felt euphoric. 

“i think i am beginning to see why you are so single.” the pair laughed along, as y/n took the initiative to take over creating the man’s profile. jay had switched his attention over to the netflix series they had been watching, yet his thoughts circulated around his girl. 

a little over an hour went by, before y/n handed jay his phone back. a proud smile on her face, as she leant her chin against his chest, watching his reaction to what she considered a masterpiece. jay’s eyebrows raised in surprise, as his thumb ran over the screen studying her work. 

“wow,” he let out a deep breath, his hot breath gracing over her face. “you’re good.” it was true, jay knew that if he had ever tried to do this, he would have given up at the first hurdle. y/n hummed in agreement, leaning over to press something on his screen. 

the pair began making their way through the different profiles, y/n let jay take the lead, seeing as he would have to be the one talking to the women. except it seemed that jay had picked something wrong out with every woman he saw, swiping left over and over and over again.

“jay.” she whined, throwing her head back in annoyance.

“y/n.” he mirrored her tone. rolling her eyes, she took the phone back.

“there are not going to be any women left if you don’t give any of them a chance,” her finger swiping right on every profile she believed would match the man she knew. “do you know how many women would die for a hot detective?” y/n continued to giggle, not realising the seriousness that possessed jay’s face.

“but not you.” jay mumbled absentmindedly. snapping her head in his direction, y/n frowned.

“huh?” 

“nothing.” jay felt stupid, incredibly stupid. the thoughts he had kept in the depth of his mind had found themselves on the tip of his tongue. unfortunately, he knew that he had not friended the woman over her passiveness, no she was direct and would not allow him to get away with such a pass away comment. 

“come on, what do you mean not me?” the room became smaller the more jay let the silence lay. his breath shaking, considering that this might be the moment he had been dreading. the moment he told the truth.

“you know i still remember the first time we met,” the change in direction of conversation caught y/n off guard, but she didn’t dare interrupt, as he watched him with glossy eyes. “i still remember the floral dress that you walked in old man chambers’ english class. it was your first day and everyone was talking about the pretty girl. ryan roscoe tried to grab your ass and you kicked him in the balls. it was in that moment that i knew i would fall in love with you.” an unreadable emotion washed over y/n’s face, as jay strived through the courage thriving through his body. “i tried for years to get you to look at me in a way that wasn’t your ‘best friend’, but you never did.”

y/n didn’t know at what point that they had begin to lean in, but the two soon recognised how close their faces had become. y/n didn’t know how she was feeling, except the fact she had not desire to pull away. instead, she brought her hand up to rest on his jaw, the pad of her thumb running down his cheek.

“you never told me any of this until now, why?” it was a valid question, 11 years of friendship, 11 years of unspoken feelings, why now? 

“things feel... different now.” it was undeniable, something in the air suffocated them with something that made them feel alive, a feeling the pair had only felt in the presence of the other. 

jay’s eyes didn’t pull up from her lips, the feeling of her touch on his face was unexplainable. he wasn’t sure if it was possible to feel this was with anyone other than y/n y/l/n. jay didn’t know how he had gained so much bravery in such a short space of time, but he didn’t dare ponder on it. using it to his advantage.

“can i- can i kiss you?” jay didn’t receive the verbal response he was waiting for. instead in a flash moment, the plump lips he had been examining pressed against his own. the first kiss was soft, passionate, allowing every feeling they had ever considered flood through their action, reminding the other how long this had been building up. by the second kiss, the sentimentality had been replaced by lust, pulling the other close, as though they were waiting for the moment they woke from this dream. 

when her breath had ran out, y/n hesitantly pulled away from jay. the stinging in her lips and erratic beating of her heart was addicting. her mind remained foggy, until a thought passed her mind. 

“i wish you would have told me this before i spent an hour creating your tinder profile, think about all the hearts you have just broken!” she giggled, swatting his chest lightly, watching as he chuckled deeply. 

“shut up and come here.” jay teased, flipping them over and pushing his lips against her own. drowning in the middling of their heartbeats and body heats. and for the first time, the infamous matchmaker of the 21st precinct had found her match.

[mischiefandspirits]

Last Laugh (2 of 3)

“Oh, I noticed,” Red X said lowly, tossing the staff aside. “What that idiot was thinking letting Flamebird send you all the way across the country right after Batkid got blown up, I’ll never know.”

Robin flinched back at the accusation before his fists clenched at his sides. “Then you’ll be happy to know no one sent me here. It’s just where I ended up when Batman decided he didn’t want to work with me anymore and tossed me out.”

The story of how Dick ended up with the Titans in Batkid and Robin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason once told Dick that he spent months after he’d come to the manor worrying he’d be dumped back onto the streets at any minute. As a result, he’d kept go-bags hidden around, ready to go at a moment’s notice in hopes that he’d have time to grab one before he was sent away. They each had water bottles and food stolen from the kitchen, bandages from the infirmary, a backup set of clothes, a good blanket, a knife, and some cash he’d save whenever Bruce would give him any.

The others had known about them, of course, but hadn’t said anything. Jason had only known because Bruce would sneak some extra cash into them and Selina would slip in things that could be useful on the streets that he hadn’t considered while Alfred had checked them every so often to refresh the food and make sure he wasn’t filling them with junk food.

Once he’d gotten more comfortable, he’d started giving them up. By the time Bruce had disappeared, all the bags Jason had hidden had been unpacked. He never let go of his need to be prepared, though. So in place of the bags, he had four briefcases. Bulletproof, fireproof, blast-proof, and with encrypted locks, they were filled with paperwork for Jason to use in case he ever needed to go on the run. Each had everything necessary for a fake identity, including corresponding bank account information. All were created outside the family’s influence just in case the reason he needed to lie low was mind control.

Dick had never seen what was inside the first two, didn’t even know where Jason had stashed them, but he knew the third had a file for Casey Jacob Dickinson. Only because the fourth held the file for Casey’s half-brother Ryan Emil Dickinson.

The latter is the one Dick took when he snuck into Jason’s room and pried up the loose floorboard hidden under the dresser in the closet. It was their special secret, something only they shared. Something Jason had trusted Dick and only Dick with.

“Thanks, Jay,” he said, replacing the floorboard. He pushed the dresser back into place then moved to leave, but paused when he spotted the brown jacket hanging by the door.

Dick had gotten it for Jason to match his own red Batkid hoodie. He’d accidentally gotten it in a larger size than Jason usually liked to wear, but that hadn’t stopped his brother from wearing it every time the two of them hung out with just each other.

Running his thumb over the red robin patch on the shoulder, Dick stared at the jacket for a moment before pulling it off the hanger.

They wouldn’t miss it. No one had been in the room in over a month.

Case in hand and jacket slung over his shoulder, he snuck back to his room. He opened the case and pulled out the file. He slipped the ID and debit card into his wallet before putting the file into the lockbox. He carefully folded the jacket and set it into the case along with the small photo album Selina had helped him put together. It held pictures of everyone in the family, including the photo Tim had given him of himself, his parents, Damian, Jon, Duke, Tim, Steph, Jason, Babs, and Cass from that night.

It was the only picture he had of his parents, thanks to the people who ran Gotham Juvenile Detention losing almost everything he’d taken with him from the circus. He had another copy on his nightstand back at the house he, Damian, and Jon shared -- had shared -- in Somerset. The family he’d lost side by side with the family he’d gained. It made him sad every time he saw it, but it was still his favorite.

Except now they were both families he’d lost.

At least if Bruce gets his way.

Dick slammed the case closed and stuck it into the duffle bag next to the lockbox. He locked the box then piled in the clothes he’d already gathered. He tossed his wallet into the bag then zipped it up and shoved it back under the bed.

One last thing to do.

He was halfway to the closest cave entrance when he bumped into Bruce and Selina.

“Hey there, songbird,” Selina greeted.

“Hey.”

“Dinner’s almost ready,” Bruce said and reached out to ruffle his hair.

Dick stepped away before he could, then walked past them. “Not hungry.”

“He heard the news, then?”

“Hm.”

“I’ll talk to him.”

“I will. I’m the one he’s mad at.”

Dick stomped into the library, ignoring his tail.

“Dick, let’s talk.”

“I don’t want to talk to you.”

“I know you’re upset, but -”

“Then leave me alone.”

“Please just let m-”

“I get it,” Dick snapped, spinning to face the man. “You got what you wanted. You didn’t want Damian to -” To foster him, to bring him into Bruce’s home, to try and make a place for him in the family. He’d heard enough snippets of the arguments Damian and Bruce had had when Bruce came back. He’d always thought Bruce thought Damian was the problem, that he didn’t trust Damian with Dick and planned to take Dick in himself. He’d also thought Bruce had finally accepted that Damian was keeping Dick. Had he been wrong on both counts?

Or had Dick’s actions ruined everything?

“Why couldn’t you just leave us alone?”

“Dick,” Bruce sighed. He knelt in front of Dick and set his hand on the boy’s shoulder. “I just want what’s best for you.”

“Anything to get what you want,” Dick snorted and pushed the hand off so he could turn away before Bruce could see his tears.

“Dick, wait.”

A hand caught his wrist and Dick…

He was losing his family again. Jason was dead. Bruce had taken Robin. Damian was sending him back. His only hope was that the others would fight for him, but would they?

If they didn’t, he’d be alone.

Again.

And it would be his fault this time.

But it would also be because…

Dick spun around and hit Bruce right in the jaw.

Then he ran.

Tim and Jason had both long outgrown the small vent hidden above a tall bookshelf in the far corner of the library and Dick had never needed to use it, but it still swung easily on the hinges the second Batkid had installed after discovering the hidden nook.

He climbed through and let the vent swing silently shut behind him. He crawled down the shaft until he reached a similar vent. He dropped down into a thin, dusty hallway. Down the hall, around a corner, then down another hall was a small door halfway up the wall. A makeshift ladder led up to it and a hidden lever opened it, revealing Bruce’s study.

Dick dropped out of the hidden passage, letting the door swing shut behind him to meld unnoticeably with the rest of the wall. He twisted the hands of the grandfather clock on the opposite wall and disappeared down into the cave, heading for the vehicle bay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dick left while the others were all patrolling and Alfred was taking a break. He used a bike that he’d removed the tracker from and kept all his devices off. He went to a hotel in the Bowery that he knew was shady enough to look the other way when a fourteen-year-old rented a room on his own, but not shady enough to take advantage of it.

He gave it a week, then two, before sneaking onto a roof in Coventry on a night he knew Oracle wouldn’t be working. He turned on the comm he’d brought and listened in. For the most part, everything was just the usual reporting in. However, things changed just before one.

“I’m moving in. Going dark,” Batman said.

“Got it, B-man,” Batgirl chirped. After a moment, in a more somber voice, she said, “So…”

Black Bat groaned and Orphan said, “No.”

“You don’t even know what I was going to ask!”

“We haven’t heard anything, and we’re not getting involved,” Black Bat said shortly.

“Not our place,” Orphan agreed.

“I know that! I was just wondering if Flamebird’s changed his mind,” Batgirl huffed.

“It’s for the best,” Orphan said after a moment.

“I get that,” Batgirl sighed. “I’m just going to miss the kid. I already miss him, and I know Oracle and Pup do too.”

“We all feel that way, but… I feel bad that he’s losing Robin, but he needs to get away from all this. After everything that’s happened… Flamebird’s right,” Black Bat said softly.

“Robin will be better off there, no matter how much we miss him,” Orphan insisted.

“Yeah, yeah. Have you guys gotten any leads on where he could -”

Dick didn’t hear the rest of Batgirl’s question as he yanked out the comm and smashed it on the ground.

He’d thought… He’d hoped…

But they agreed with Bruce. They agreed with sending him away. They weren’t going to talk Damian around.

Dick pressed his face into his knees and screamed.

He couldn’t stay in Gotham. The Bats would eventually find him, and now he knew that’d be a one-way ticket back to juvie.

He left the hotel in the morning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Robin had been hesitant to stay with the others. There was no way the Bats hadn’t noticed his involvement in the invasion that had brought their team together. It was better for him to move on as soon as possible

He really hadn't wanted to, though.

They had been an amazing team and had quickly become friends. He also knew they would understand his past if he told them since Wonder Girl was an outcast among most Amazons as a result of her Brazilian heritage, Impulse was dealing with the fact her father was currently lost in the Speed Force, Virus was still trying to reconnect with his people now that he’s free from the Mawlix, and Nightstar had run away from home to get away from her absentee mother’s shadow.

That was the only reason he stayed as long as he had while they began to put together their base using the remains of Virus’s ship.

He was working up to telling the team he had to leave when he stumbled upon Impulse and Wonder Girl talking in the common area.

“It’s a shame, really,” Impulse sighed, clutching a magazine.

“Boohoo,” Wonder Girl snorted, not looking up from her book.

“I’m serious.”

“He’s one boy, and not even a worthwhile one from what I’ve seen.”

“Speedy said White Arrow and Silver Canary have met him, though, and he’s super sweet.” The speedster shoved the magazine towards her face. “Plus, just look at him!”

Wonder Girl shoved it away, rolling her eyes.

“What’s going on?” Robin asked hesitantly.

“Impulse is crying because some famous pretty boy is going away to boarding school.”

The speedster shot her a look then turned sad eyes on Robin. “It’s Richard Grayson!”

Ice shot down Robin’s spine. “What?”

“Yeah, the Waynes are shipping him off to some school overseas,” she said, waving the magazine towards him and he took it. “The family wouldn’t say where since they wanted…”

Robin fell back on his training to keep his face blank and his hands steady as he scanned through the article.

They knew where he was, and they were covering it up. They had come up with a grand lie about him going to school in England to explain his absence.

They weren’t coming for him.

“Poor guy,” he said, closing the magazine and handing it back.

“See, Robin gets it!” he heard Impulse say as he turned and left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Small Easter Eggs: The briefcase from Teen Titans episode "Revved Up" and Dick punching Bruce from The New Batman Adventures episode "Old Wounds".

[6rookie-writer0110]

The echo in my head

Hermione Granger x Male Reader Granger

Request- Can you make a Male reader X Harry Potter fandom with the reader being Hermione's older twin brother whose not as smart but is a battle genius and takes no shit from anyone and is great at slight of hand and hiding like Batman also the reader flirts with anyone like the twin sisters (forgot the name not Fred and George) and Ginny even with the Slytherin girls and when he sees Tonks hair change his just like that's hot and he always teases Hermione but is protective of her

At Hogwarts, everyone knows you are Hermione’s twin brother. Everyone all assumed you would highly intelligent like her and have the same personality. But you are not book smart like her but you are a battle genius strategy and take no shit from anyone.

Also you like to flirt with a lot of girls, you are a charmer. Your best friends are Fred and George.

Hermione, Harry and Ron come out of class and they see you flriting with Padma and Parvati.

”He should be studying not flirting with them” Hermione said.

”Who he doesn't flirt with,” Harry said.

”I can't believe they fancy him” Ron said.

Hermione always tells you to study not flirt with every girl you see. You don't study for long like how she does. You just want to have a good time, you know when to be serious and not to be serious.

----

It's snowing a lot and everyone is outside having a snowball fight.

”Y/N we need a plan now,” Fred said.

You start to think fast and you got an idea. You start to Fred, Geroge, and Ginny what to do. Your plan did work, they managed to hit others first and they started to cheer. Hermione knows you're smart in different ways and she saw you win the snowball fight.

”Y/N, you did great out there,” Hermione said.

”Thanks. They had a lot of weak spots that I noticed quickly” You said.

You smiled.

”You are smart when it comes to battle strategy,” Hermione said.

”See, I don't need to read old boring books to be smart” You joked.

She rolled her eyes at you. She started to talk about why it is important to have an education. But you walked away when you saw hot Slytherin girls.

”Y/N you are a jerk!” Hermione yelled.

You don't pay attention to her and you followed the hot girls and flirted with them.

---

You are walking alone heading to the dining room and you see Tonks.

”I noticed you changed your hair color. I like it and you always look gorgeous” You said.

”Thank you. But don't you get tired always flirting with everyone?” Tonks said.

”Nope. But I did mean it what I said” You said.

”Cute” Tonks said and walked away.

Later you went to see your sister and she is in the library.

”I am surprised you found the library,” Hermione said.

”Hahaha, not funny. Can you do my homework?” You said.

”No,” Hermione said.

” What’s the point having a sister who is a nerd won't do my homework” You whined.

”You have time to flirt with every girl but you won't bother to do your homework, Y/N,” Hermione said.

”Can I least copy your answers?” You asked.

”No,” Hermione said.

You tried to use a spell, to copy her homework but she stopped you. She smacked your hands.

”Study” Hermione said.

”I’m the older brother” You said.

”Just study, Y/N,” Hermione said.

Later, you meet up with Fred and George while Hermione is with Harry and Ron.

✧ ✯ ✧ ✯

The battle for Hogwarts no one was ready. Everyone felt terrified and the younger kids we're especially terrified.

”Y/N, do you have a plan?” Harry asked.

”First we need to get the younger students safe now,” You told them.

You thought the plan and you tell them what spells are good to defeat death eaters. It's a strong spell and they learned the spells fast.

A statue was going to fall on Remus but you pushed him out of the way. He hugged you and thanked you.

”Remus, have you seen my sister?” You asked.

”We got separated. I don't know where she is now” Remus said.

”There are younger students in the basement and they will need your help,” You said.

”I’m on it. Y/N, come back in one piece” Remus said.

”I can't promise that!!” You said while running away.

----

Your adrenaline is off the charts. You are wounded, extremely tired, and more death eaters appeared. You keep looking for your sister and you found her and she is with Fred. They are trying to stop Voldemort's inner circle. They are fighting against Bellatrix and you are seeing red. Hermione has told what Bellatrix did to her.

You used your magic to create a protection spell because an explosion went off by outside the Room of Requirement.

You had to save Hermione and Fred. They are happy to see you

”Are you okay?!” You yelled.

”Y/N! We are fine” Hermione said.

They are wounded but not by the explosion.

”Good. They will see me kill you. Especially your sister, mud blood” Bellatrix smirked.

”What you did to my sister, you will pay for it!” You yelled at Bellatrix.

She laughed at you and you start to chase after her. Fred and Hermione were going to stop you but they see other students being cornered.

Sirius and Tonks are fighting against Lucius Malfoy and death eaters. You used your magic and start to help them.

”Y/N glad you are okay,” Tonks said.

”Well kinda. I'm after Bellatrix, which way did she go?” You asked.

Tonks pointed out where Bellatrix and you ran. Now you and Bellatrix start fighting each other, she used a spell and you hit the brick wall hard. You struggled to get up and grabbed your wand. You attacked her with a spell and she fell down. But she gets back up, you and Bellatrix at the same time used a spell to attack each other.

----

The battle is over and it's bittersweet. Fred and George are happy to see each other and their family.

”Fred, have you seen Y/N?” Hermione asked.

He shook his head ”No, I haven't seen him”

”He was going after Bellatrix, ” Tonks said.

She starts to cry, everyone knows that Bellatrix is ruthless. Everyone starts to help Hermione look for you but no one can find you and she starts to cry. To Hermione, it felt like forever of her looking for you.

”Hermione look!” Sirius said.

Everyone looked, your face is covered in blood because you have a cut on your head. Your clothes are completely ruined and you are limping. Hermione runs to you when you fainted, she tries to wake you up but you don't wake up.

✧ ✯ ✧ ✯

You have been in a coma for days now. Hermione hasn't left your side, she makes sure the sunlight comes in your room, has flowers around the room, she would read to you, and more. Fred and George make to visit Hermione and they got food for her.

”He still hasn't woken up?” Fred asked.

She shakes her head. ”No, nothing has changed. I still read to him and talk”

”Y/N is the only one who can tell us apart. Well, mum can tell us apart but with friends, he definitely knows who is who” George said.

”We also want to open a joke shop. Y/N has ideas of how it will look, we will all be partners” Fred said.

”I remember him, giving the speech to Ron when I started to date him. Ron got scared” Hermione smiled.

George and Fred laughed.

”Oh, yeah we remember. Ron avoided Y/N for two weeks, it was funny. He did beat up Malfoy and everyone was in shock but we laughed about it” Fred said.

”Hermione, he will wake up. He doesn't give up, we just have to keep being there for him” George said.

”Thank you,” Hermione said.

”You don't have to thank us. We are here for you and him” Fred said.

She smiled and they hugged her.

---

Days turned into weeks then a month. You are still in a coma, everyone comes to visit you and Hermione. Since Sirius was proven innocent he also came to check up on you and Hermione. Every day since you have been in a coma, Hermione has been holding your hand and would brush your hair.

Fred and George took Hermione home to rest, eat, and change clothes. Everyone went to the hospital to see you and she can hear your voice

”Actually, I don't know why people hate green jello, it's not bad,” You said to the nurse.

Hermione ran into the room and everyone followed.

”You guys, missed me?” You smile.

Hermione hugged you extremely tight. You hugged her back and she starts to cry and you cried also.

”I missed you so much! I was scared you were going to leave me. Y/N I'm so happy right now” Hermione said.

”I will never leave you” You said.

Fred and George hugged you then everyone else did. They are happy that you are doing fine and tell you what you missed and it's a lot.

”You need to shave,” Hermione said.

”Nope, I'm keeping the beard and I look cool,” You said.

Everyone laughed except Hermione.

✧ ✯ ✧ ✯

~Time Skip~

You take your kids to see Fred and George Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes is a joke shop in Diagon Alley. Your wife Lucy gave birth to twins and they are always happy to see Fred and George.

The shop is doing good and you handle the books and promotions. Your kids ran to hug Fred and George.

”Y/N, what are you doing here?” Fred asked.

”They wanted to see you and George. Plus, we have to do shopping for school and they will get their first wands” You said.

”Why I can't stay here I don't want to go to Hogwarts,” JR said.

He is nervous about going to school and being far from you and Lucy.

”You will like it there, we promise. That's where we met your dad and we did a lot of pranks” George said.

”Really?” JR said.

George nods. ”We did get in trouble all the time. JR, you will like it there and you will make friends”

”Let’s have fun, shall we? We got new items, you two can be our first special customers to play with it” George said.

Your sons look at you.

”Can we stay, dad?” They asked.

”Sure, but only for a little bit” You said.

They hugged you and they go play.

----

You and your wife Lucy are at the Hogwarts train station. The twins are feeling nervous and they hug you and Lucy tight.

”You and your brother will have a great time at Hogwarts, you won't be alone because you and Ryan will have each other. It will be ok, you and your brother will have fun and learn a lot” You said.

Hermione watches you talk to your kids.

”Your father is right. It will be a good experience at Hogwarts, yes there be bad and good moments but you are not alone. We will write to each other” Lucy said.

The boys hugged you and Lucy.

”We love you mom and dad,” Ryan and Jr said.

You kissed their heads, you and Lucy watched them get on the train. You put your arm around Lucy and she starts to cry.

”They will be okay, love,” You said.

”I know. I will miss them. Let's go get something to eat” Lucy said.

She kissed you and you smiled. Everyone is watching the train leave, you and Hermione start to remember the good times at Hogwarts. Hermione went up to you and hugged you.

”You’re the best brother I could ever have and I'm grateful for you,” Hermione said.

You hugged her tight.

”I’m still mad that you didn't let me copy your homework when we were at Hogwarts” You teased.

She playfully smacked your arm.

”You are so childish and you ruined a moment” Hermione giggled.

”You will never let it go?” Lucy asked.

”Never, she never let me copy her homework,” You said.

”Lucy, he reminds me of it every year since we graduated,” Hermione said.

”I don't care how old we are, I will still remind you of it” You laughed.

They rolled their eyes at you and Hermione took you and Lucy out for lunch.

[artsythembo]

Make Up Work - Chapter 1

Tw: Bullying, Minor violence

Nathan Rosen is tired of constantly being pushed around. He put his foot down and even got some kids suspended but now they're back! Nathan needs to fend off old enemies and without realizing it may grow closer to one than her ever thought possible.

The keyboard clacked rigorously as Nathan typed on his latest story. He knew the clock was ticking. However, he also knew this was what he loved and math class wasn't. With only five minutes left he found himself knee deep in the atmosphere and barely noticed when his timer went off. Three till, now he had to get to class. Begrudgingly he packed up his laptop and threw his bag over his shoulder. Making his way out of the library he kept his head down. Get to class and make it through the day.

As he made his way through the hallway he felt bumps and heard jeers. Insults flew at him like flies to fly paper but despite them sticking he ignored it the best he could. The last thing he needed right now was a fight and besides he knew he'd lose. It was thankfully a short walk to Miss Gallard's math class so he made it with little damage. He kept his mind on his stories as he sat in the second row, wanting to hear the lesson but not wanting to appear like a total nerd. Looking around he noticed something, or more like the lack of something. Seat five of row four was unoccupied. That's where Ryan usually sat or at least used to. Spying discretely around the room he noted Ryan was still nowhere to be seen. Thank god.

The last thing he needed was to deal with him. Ryan was one of the worst kids in the school, violent and demanding. He was always making Nathan do his homework, or at least he did before he disappeared. One day Nathan walked in dreading another day and no one demanded his lunch money. That was a month ago and it was honestly a pretty sweet month of no bullies! All his usual bullies had been suspended and then a week later Ryan went missing. He sure as hell didn't miss them! Especially Ryan, he was never anything but a jerk. The bell rang and with a whistle Miss Gallard's got the back row to chat quieter as she began class.

"Good morning students," She said less than enthusiastically, "I do hope you all studied as instructed because today is the day," She pulled out a small pile of papers. "midterms."

The students groaned as she passed out a few papers to those without laptops. There were a few boys sitting in the back who Nathan knew all too well, Jared and his gang. Those kids were real pieces of work. Nathan could feel them glaring at the back of his neck as he grabbed out his laptop. Theirs had been confiscated by the school after they were caught cyberbullying other kids, including him. He did his best to ignore them, but he knew they were planning trouble. It was because of him they got suspended. He sighed internally as they flicked papers at the back of his neck. At least Ryan is still gone.

He turned his attention to getting the test page up. Nathan was always good with tests and studied hard so he hoped things would be fine. Miss Gallard walked back to the front of the room and addressed the teens.

"Alright this will be an hour long exam, you will be timed. Quite a lot of your grade relies on this so good luck." Nathan did his best clicking through answers at an alright pace. He vaguely noticed other kids putting away their laptops and even Jared and them taking up their papers. Once finished Nathan submitted. He wasn't the last one done but certainly had taken his time. Closing the tab he opened his word processor and continued work on his story. He lost himself deep in the characters so deep in fact that he didn't notice the bell ring. Of course everyone else was in a hurry to get to lunch and he didn't have any friends in the class so no one bothered to tell him. Until Miss Gallard tapped him on the shoulder.

"Are you going to lunch?" she questioned. It was then that He noticed the time. Crap! He quickly shut his laptop and shoved it into his bag walking quickly out the room. Once he was out of sight of the teacher he began sprinting. He really didn't want to miss lunch. Running he found himself drifting back to his story. The main character Ariana Valentine, he loved her so much, was a bad-ass outlaw on the run in a futuristic society. She was living her hectic life before she met Grey Lawson, an upstanding citizen of the new world who insists she change her ways. Through some pretty cool circumstances this unlikely pair are stuck together on the run from the government trying to break down a conspiracy! Nathan felt a little like he was floating as he ran at a breakneck pace. Maybe that was why he didn't notice the person in his way until he ran into them. The wind was knocked out of him as Nathan bounced back.

"Hey! What the-!" Nathan froze as his eye opened to the sight of a white and red letterman jacket with a patch in the shape of a capital R.

Crap! He knew who was inside this jacket and rather than look up he hoped he could slip past him. He wanted to go to lunch and pretend this never happened. Unfortunately he was never that lucky. As he attempted to silently stare forward and walk around he felt the familiar tug of a fist on his shirt collar.

His eyes shut again as the wind was knocked out of him for the second time. Colliding with the wall hurt but not near as much as he was about to if he didn't choose his next words carefully. Opening his eyes he saw the angry, bruised face of none other than Ryan Hyalls staring him down. He spoke slowly as if calming a rabid animal.

"Hey Ryan, long time no see…" Ryan looked him up and down clearly in a bad mood. Oh boy.

"So I'm gone a couple weeks and you think you can start throwing attitude?" Fuck.

"No, no, no. Of course not I didn't know it was you is, um all!" He knew he was slipping he had to act fast before this turned sour.

"And? Any more excuses?" Jeez he is in a bad mood today. Nathan stays silent unsure what to say. Act fast.

"No, no, I'm sorry." Ryan seemed to calm slightly letting Nathan down. "Look I'm super sorry to have caused any trouble." Nathan spoke somewhat frantically moving slowing in a half circle around Ryan. "So I'll go and stop bothering you! I'm sure you want to get to lunch." Nathan was about to bolt when Ryan grabbed his arm.

"Not without my lunch money I'm not." He held out a hand expectantly and Nathan cursed to himself. Great… He rolled his eyes internally but did as the older teen demanded. He even added a nervous. "O-of course!" The weaker he appeared, the less threatened the bully would be or at least that's what his mother said. Nathan handed the money from his wallet into Ryan's expecting hand. As Ryan counted the money Nathan backed away slowly and turned.

"Oh no you don't!" Ryan reached out before Nathan bolted and grabbed him by the arm. His hand was big enough to completely encase the younger boys arm. Nathan turned panicked hoping he could have gotten away and for the first time since the conversation began Ryan smiled.

It wasn't a kind smile, not even close! It was a wicked kind of smile a car salesman had before ripping off an old lady. Nathan wanted to yell for help but he knew better so when Ryan began dragging him around the school halls he let it happen. "Where are we going?" He asked exasperated but Ryan refused to answer and kept smiling.

It wasn't long before they reach their destination, a janitors closet. Nathan was confused until he saw the door propped open with a book, then he was terrified. Ryan pulled him forward opening the door and shoving him in. Nathan barely kept his balance and turned in time to see the door shut.

He wasn't sure what would happened next and the air was tense. Ryan opened his bag and pulled out a folder throwing it to Nathan who barely caught It. It was green and read HISTORY across the front in bold black lettering. Nathan looked up in confusion.

"What? You know your job. Ive been gone for a month. So that means lots of make up work for me. Or more accurately for you." Ryan smiled a grin that could kill kittens and Nathan fumed. Seriously? He scares the shit out of me to make me do his homework! Nathan would've voiced these complaint but Ryan blocked the door. Knowing this could go much worse Nathan sat down and got started. There was so much and Ryan was a grade above him so Nathan had his work cut out for him. As he worked through it he did his best, even pulling out his phone to look stuff up. He knew these papers had to get a good grade, or else.

After a bit Nathan decided to try his luck. He could see other kids in the hall heading to the lunch room and knew he'd miss it entirely if he didn't try.

"You know I could get this done a lot faster if I had some food?" Nathan bit his lip hoping this would work but unfortunately Ryan turned his face sarcastically to the trapped boy.

"Oh really?" He pretend to think about it before plainly stating, "No." Nathan knew he was already pushing it but he was hungry.

"Come on, please? Something small at least?" He begged. This time Ryan ignored him. Nathan grew desperate and nearly shouted. "Aw come on man! I'm already doing your work you could at least let me eat!" Nathan quickly regretted his tone as the older boy stood up walking towards him. Nathan prepared himself for trouble and quickly back-tracked.

"I-I'm sorry I didn't mean-" He was cut off as Ryan got right up in his face and pointed to the papers on his lap with a stern look. Nathan swallowed a knot in his throat as Ryan's demeanor dared Nathan to challenge him further. He didn't and thankfully Ryan went back and sat down messing around on his phone.

Nathan sighed internally and turned back to the work. Whatever! I'll get it done and then I wouldn't have to worry about it. He sat and worked on history above his grade level for far longer than he felt he should have been. Still eventually the bell rang and Ryan stood up. Thank god I can finally leave.

Nathan got up as well stuffing all the papers he had managed to get done back in the folder. Ryan opened the door and Nathan followed him out. He tried to hand Ryan the folder but with a dissatisfied look he shoved it back into Nathans possession. Nathan was confused and a bit angry.

"I did the work." He insisted. Ryan stared him down like this was a waste of his time and shoved back the folder.

"Do the rest." Nathan hoped this wouldn't happen but clearly that didn't mean much to the universe that day.

"What?" Nathan blurted but Ryan smirked.

"I want it done by tonight." He shoved Nathan back and walked away as the dumbfounded boy fumed unable to do anything.