#i was gonna make this extra depressing but decided not to :^)
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𝘓𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘬𝘺 𝘵𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵, 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯. 𝘈 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘦, 𝘢 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐'𝘮 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘪𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘴.
#sim:mortimer#cornelia gave him that bunny#he's literally such a baby#i was gonna make this extra depressing but decided not to :^)#maybe tho.... maybe#story
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I will be his friend 🥺
Having Ryuki thoughts and what really makes the ending of aini feel off to me is like. Ryuki kinda just like, doesn’t have any friends. Mizuki has plenty of friends, we know she’s good friends with Iris, Ota, and Aiba and then we also see her with Mame, Shoma, Kizuna, and Bibi and generally she just seems to be on good terms with everyone in the cast. But with Ryuki it’s not really like that. He doesn’t really form any meaningful relationships with the characters he meets in the game, at best theyre acquaintances. Boss doesn’t really know what to do with him and Ryuki can tell. He has Tama of course, no doubt shes his only family and they care deeply about each other, but you just know Ryuki feels uncertain because she’s an ai who was made to work with him, she’s his friend cuz she HAS to be. The only friend he’s ever actually made in his life is Date and Ryuki just. He attaches himself so strongly to Date he bases his sense of justice around Date he starts feeling like he can carry on because of Date he starts losing his mind and drinking himself to death because he loses Date HE HAS DATE BACK FOR 5 MINUTES AND THEN TAKES A BULLET FOR DATE. But we don’t really know what becomes of their relationship after everything that’s happened or if Ryuki can even allow himself to be around Date considering all his guilt. And when Ryuki gets shot and starts bleeding out the only person who goes to him is Date and like. Their time is so brief I forget it even happens. We dont get to react to it at all and honestly why would we? This game hasn’t given Mizuki and Ryuki a relationship so why would she feel strongly about him nearly dying? So then when we’re finally allowed to know if Ryuki is okay AFTER BEING SHOT it’s done as a surprise for Mizuki and Bibi which is just. So so weird cuz like I said Mizuki doesn’t really have a relationship with this guy and Bibi like, actively hates him. Its so weird and like it makes a lot of sense WHY he doesn’t have any friends cuz he isolates himself and is just in general very socially awkward and off putting but for the game to just kinda squeeze him into this friend group all of a sudden as a second thought without putting any effort into what his relationships with these people would be like it’s just. I hate it I really hate it
#i think itd be interesting if he was friends with the girls like they see him as like some strange guy to take exploring#ryuki has no idea how he got here but iris is making him play shovel forge and its actually very fun#he builds a very nice house and gets way too professional with it and is way too into killing monsters#hes obnoxiously good at it and has all these high quality items and then he falls in lava and loses everything#also iris may set his house on fire for fun and he does not like it#i think the thing with ryuki is that itd be very difficult to be his friend because hes a very difficult person#he makes weird jokes no one gets he doesnt listen to anyone else he wallows in self hatred hes always drunk#he knows exactly how to wear you down enough to push you away#hes an arrogant piece of shit!#and idk the fact that he still doesnt really have anyone who can push through those walls and help is really depressing#like obviously he needs to help himself too hes not gonna get anywhere if he keeps deciding hes irredeemable#but its way easier to do that when you have that extra support#its another reason why i haaate the ‘ryuki has tc perge’ plot point so much cuz they conveniently cure him of it at the end#and now its like oh boy a way for ryuki to finally not be such a pain in the ass to be around now hes normal!#and i dont like that shit like no sorry we’re doing this the hard way you WILL give this man love and support as he is now#you will take the time and deal with frustration and love him deeply cuz hes amazing and deserves love and happiness#kuruto ryuki i love you so much lets get married please 😩
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Trick or Treat | Bucky Barnes x Reader
This is my second Halloween fic this year because I have no self control!
Word Count: 3.2k
Warnings: anxiety
Sam’s Halloween bash launched into full swing, and seemed as though it would last till sunrise. Music pulsed through a set of massive speakers. Alcohol flowed. And throngs of people danced the night away.
Just as Sam instructed, everyone arrived decked out in costume. And as you scanned the crowd, you found Ghost Face doing shots with Barbie. Michael Myers grinding on Freddy Kreuger. Pennywise flirting with Beetlejuice. It was a picture perfect Halloween party- save for one thing.
Bucky hadn’t arrived yet.
All of the partygoers formed a large, pulsating mass as they danced and celebrated, but you remained off to the side. In an empty, isolated corner, you checked and rechecked your texts. You’d already shot Bucky a few messages asking when he’d show. Asking if he was alright. And he swore he was fine. He said he’d be there soon, but that was as specific as he’d get.
“I’m sure he’ll be here any minute!” Wanda yelled over the music. She swayed to the beat, swishing the skirt of her dress back and forth. Every few seconds, she stole a glance at the dance floor with want in her eyes. “Come on, let’s go dance!”
“I’m with Mary,” Nat downed the last of her drink and draped her arm over Wanda’s shoulders. “The Sanderson Sisters are the life of the party, we have a reputation to uphold!”
When the three of you decided to coordinate your costumes, Hocus Pocus had been the obvious choice. In the weeks leading up to Sam’s party, you helped one another piece together flawless renditions of each Sanderson Sister. Wanda decided on Mary, and Nat dressed up as Sarah, leaving you to adopt Winifred’s famous ensemble.
And you had to admit, the three of you looked amazing.
But you couldn’t run to the dance floor and party with abandon- not yet, anyway. Bucky said he’d be there. He swore to you that he’d make an appearance. And while a loud, overcrowded party wasn’t his favorite way to spend an evening, he knew he had to challenge himself. To expand his comfort zone.
He wanted so badly to be “normal”. To function like a “regular” person. But he struggled. He had flashbacks. Panic attacks. Long depression spirals. And his anxiety always had the reigns.
But he’d fought tooth and nail to vanquish his demons, and now that he was making progress and healing bit by bit, he wanted to join the ranks of "ordinary" society.
And Sam’s party was the perfect opportunity. It was a safe, controlled environment where Bucky could stretch his comfort zone. Sure, it was loud and packed with people, but that was the whole point. If he was going to be “normal”, he had to be okay with noise and crowds; Sam’s party had both. But there was nothing for him to worry about, nothing to fear. He would perfectly and totally safe here. At least half of the attendees were fellow special agents, and you and Sam promised to stick with him all night.
But the party started over an hour ago, and he still hadn’t shown. Worry creased your brow; it wasn’t like him to be late.
“I think I’m just gonna hang out here for now,” you leaned against the wall and brandished your phone at them, “So I can make sure I don’t miss a call or anything.”
“You do you, sister,” Nat brushed a kiss against your cheek, “Mary and I are gonna command the dance floor.”
The two of them ran off, arm in arm, in the direction of the crowd.
“Is he on his way?” Sam came around the corner, two drinks in hand. He extended one in your direction and sipped on the other. “I haven’t heard back.”
“I don’t know.” You took a long pull of your drink, “I asked if he was coming and he said yes, but he didn’t give me a specific ETA, or anything.”
Sam shrugged, “I think he might flake.”
That same sneaking suspicion had crossed your mind a few times over the last hour, but you refused to accept it. Surely, Bucky just needed a little extra time to prepare himself. To get in the right headspace.
“I’m gonna- would you take this for a sec?” You handed your drink back to Sam, who swore to keep a watchful eye on it while you stepped outside to call Bucky.
The phone rang and rang. And you feared it might go to voicemail. But at the last possible second, Bucky picked up.
“Hey, sweetheart.” Something was off. He sounded almost nervous, like he’d been caught red-handed.
“Hey, Buck.” You kept your tone light. “Are you gonna be here soon?”
A long silence permeated the line.
“Um, yes. Yeah, I’m on my way right now,” he assured you. “Shouldn’t be much longer. I’ll see you in a bit. Okay?”
“Great." You didn't buy it for a second. "See you soon.”
For an ex-assassin with decades of stealth training and countless kills on his hands, Bucky was a terrible liar. But only when it came to you. He just couldn’t deceive his best friend, couldn’t pull the wool over your eyes. He simply didn’t have it in him; his brain and body rejected even the concept of swindling you.
You knew for a fact that he was still at his apartment. Knew that his anxiety had won. You could practically see him sitting at home all alone, hating himself for flaking on yet another get-together. And while his closest friends danced the night away, he’d spend the entire evening berating himself. Chastising himself.
But you wouldn’t allow it. With a determined huff, you ditched the party, and set off in the direction of Bucky's apartment.
Bucky stared at the costume you’d carefully helped him assemble. It sat neatly folded on his kitchen table, all he had to do was put it on and head out the door. But he couldn’t bring himself to do so. And it infuriated him.
He spent weeks mentally preparing himself for this. He meditated, journaled, and even sought out extra therapy sessions. But none of it worked. He was still a slave to his anxiety, bending to every whim of the monsters in his head.
The whole thing was so stupid- it was just a party. He knew, logically, that there was nothing to fear. But part of his brain, the part that hated him, told him it would be too much. That he’d immediately get overwhelmed by the noise and the people and the lights. That it was a panic attack waiting to happen.
He feared what onlookers might think, what they might say, if he broke down in the middle of the festivities. And he didn’t want to chance ruining Sam’s party.
And so, he’d lied to you. He wasn’t proud of it, but it was for the best. He just wanted you to have a good time. Wanted you to spend the night dancing with Nat and Wanda instead of worrying about him. It was better this way.
A sharp knock jolted him from his seat on the couch. He crossed to the front door and pulled it open, expecting to see a group of candy-obsessed kids in costumes. But he found something else, entirely.
“Trick or treat!” You held a bottle of whiskey and a bag of candy proudly in the air, “Happy Halloween, Buck.”
Bucky took on a deer in the headlights kind of look. He was shocked, completely frozen. And as the surprise melted away, he found himself awash in strange mix of anxiety and guilt. You’d caught him in his lie; you’d found him out. And with you standing on his doorstep, he had nowhere to run.
“Sweetheart, hey. Hi. Um, Happy- Yeah, Happy Halloween.” He tripped over himself again and again, his heart racing. “I was just about to call you and-”
“It’s okay, Buck. You’re not in trouble,” you shot him a wink. “I know parties aren’t really your thing.”
He gestured for you to come in and you happily accepted, sweeping past him in your elaborate costume. But he was so bewildered, so overwhelmed, that he left the door wide open.
“What are you doing here?” Quickly, he clarified, “Not that I don’t want you here. I just mean- why aren’t you at the party?”
“Cause I came to hang out with you!” You shrugged, “Plus, there’s no point in me going if you’re not there.”
Bucky appreciated your loyalty, your dedication to him. But he couldn’t let you sit on the sidelines with him.
“That’s sweet of you, and I’m more than happy to have you here, but I know you’ve been looking forward to the party and your costume and everything. And I don’t want to ruin your Halloween.” He leaned against his open door, “So, it won’t hurt my feelings if you-”
“My Halloween will only be ruined if we don’t hang out. So, come on,” once again, you held up the candy and alcohol, “trick or treat, Buck.”
With a stubborn smile, Bucky shut the door. He watched you struggle with the bag of candy and laughed as you used your teeth to tear through the plastic.
“You know, I think you’re doing the whole ‘trick or treat’ thing backwards,” he said as he fished a Twix out of the bag. “Cause you brought candy instead of taking some from me.”
“Or maybe I’m a Halloween pioneer, and I’m inventing new traditions,” you offered. “Now, let’s crack this open.”
Bucky gladly took the bottle of whiskey from you and led you to the kitchen. He crafted old fashioneds for the both of you and clinked his glass with yours. His night had taken a very sharp, very sudden upswing, and he was more than grateful.
“I saw some kiddos trick or treating down the hall, and at least four of them were dressed up like Sam,” you laughed. “Have they been here yet?”
You eyed the large bowl of candy sitting by the front door. It was still full, nearly overflowing with sugary treats. And you realized: it was completely untouched. No greedy little hands had dug through it yet. No mischievous kids had snatched a handful or two. It just sat there, waiting.
It was sweet of Bucky to be prepared, to buy treats for the kids in the area. He was trying so hard to connect with people. To be a member of society. He wanted so badly to be seen as a person. But the world only saw him for his past.
“Um, no, I haven’t had any trick or treaters,” Bucky said, “Well, except for you.”
You shot him a wink a took a drag of your drink.
“But I’ve heard them- they’ve been running up and down my hall all night. I just don’t think…” He clinked his metal fingers against his glass, “I don’t think any of the parents in my building want their kids knocking on my door.”
His shoulders slumped forward ever so slightly, and his head fell an inch or two. Saying it out loud was humiliating. He’d thought- he’d hoped- that the city would embrace him. That they’d celebrate his return. But the only welcome he’d received was dirty looks and people spitting at him on the subway.
Bucky’s words knocked the air from your chest. A combination of heartbreak and unbridled rage swirled inside of you; it was all so unfair. Bucky didn’t deserve to be treated like a pariah or a threat. He was least intimidating, most approachable person you’d ever met. Sure, he was a little shy. But he was so warm. So kind. He genuinely cared about people. He wanted to help his community and make people feel safe. But they refused to give him a chance.
“Hey, it’s okay,” you took his hand in yours, “More candy for us.”
Bucky rolled his eyes and pulled you in for a long, much needed hug. He would never be able to express how much he appreciated your undying support. Your unconditional friendship. He knew without a doubt that he could always count on you. And after living in an unpredictable, erratic state of limbo for so many years, he cherished your consistency.
Bucky dug through the candy you brought, searching for a Snickers. “I know it’s selfish, but I’m really glad you came over.” He abandoned his candy hunt and brought his gaze up to yours, “Seriously. Thanks for being here.”
“Anytime, Buck. You know that.” You tucked the bag of candy under your arm and snatched your glass from the counter, “Come on, let’s watch a scary movie.”
Bucky followed your lead, only straying from the path for a moment or two. And when he returned, he brandished his overflowing bowl of candy in your direction. “I mean, if the kids aren’t gonna eat it…”
He sank into the couch next to you and took a swig of his drink as he watched you dig through the massive bowl of candy. A bit of guilt gnawed at him; he’d been so surprised to see you at his door that he hadn’t taken the time to appreciate all the hard work you’d put into your costume. And as you picked through his candy stash, he drank in the details of your ensemble: the perfectly crafted make up, the ornate dress, the complicated hairstyle. It was impressive, to say the least.
“Your costume is fucking incredible, by the way. You did an amazing job.”
“Oh, thanks!” A proud smile stretched across your face, “If it wasn’t so ridiculously uncomfortable, I’d probably wear it every day. But this corset is…” You pinched and pulled at the tight garment, “Definitely not intended for daily wear.”
“Then let me get you something to more comfortable.” Bucky was up in the blink of an eye, and before you could protest, he was gone.
In the time it took you to locate and unwrap a Kit Kat, he’d arrived in the living room with a change of clothes for you. It was just a pair of sweatpants and a faded t-shirt with BROOKLYN emblazoned on the front, but after spending hours in an uncomfortable corset, you swore he was offering you a slice of heaven.
With greedy hands, you accepted the clothes, “You’re a life saver!”
You sped off down the hall, promising to be back in a flash.
Bucky scrolled through the scary movies Netflix had to offer, but didn’t pay much attention. He couldn’t believe his luck. He’d planned on spending the night all by himself. He figured he’d oscillate between sulking and self-flagellation until he finally fell asleep. But you’d saved him, as you so often did.
“Seriously, I can’t thank you enough for the clothes. Now, I can actually breathe.” You plopped down on the couch next to Bucky, “Okay, what do you wanna watch?”
Bucky scrolled through a few more movies, “I don’t know, I haven’t heard of most of these. I thought I’d defer to you.”
You motioned for him to continue scrolling and gave him a little synopsis each time one of your favorites popped up on the screen.
He listened closely and took your summaries into careful consideration. And after hemming and hawing over his options, he found himself torn. “This is tough, but I’m thinking we go with It Follows or Evil Dead.”
“Both excellent choices!” You clinked your glass against his, “Let’s do It Follows first, and then if we want to watch another, we can follow up with Evil Dead.”
“Deal.”
Bucky scrolled back a page or two and selected It Follows. The movie’s opening scene began, showcasing a quiet, suburban street. You tucked yourself closer into Bucky’s side and tore into a package of M&Ms, preparing to be scared.
But after only a minute or so, Bucky paused the movie.
He turned to you, “Hey, I’m sorry about the party.”
“Buck, we talked about this. I’d rather hang out with you than-”
“No, I mean, I’m sorry I bailed.” He pulled his gaze from your face and placed it on the ice melting in his drink. “My anxiety kind got the best of me. And I-” He locked eyes with you, “I swear I tried. I wanted to go. But I just… I couldn’t do it.” His sudden eye roll caught you off guard, “The whole thing is so ridiculous, it was just a party, but even thinking about going made my hands shake.”
“It’s not ridiculous. You’ve been through a lot, and you’re still trying to wade through all the shit Hydra saddled you with.” You gave his hand a squeeze, “Healing takes time. And it’s not a linear process. You’re gonna have ups and downs- that’s perfectly normal.”
All he could manage was a sigh.
“Like you said, it was just a party. Nothing major. So, who cares if you bailed? All that matters is that you made the right choice for you.”
“I guess.” He carded a hand through his hair, “I just want to be done with it all, you know? I want to be able to do things that normal people do.”
“I know. But, you have to give yourself some grace, okay?” You brushed a gentle hand over his cheek, “And you need to be patient. Cause there’s no skipping to the end with this stuff.”
He nodded, “Yeah.”
“So, cut yourself some slack, okay?” You nudged his shoulder with yours, “No one is more deserving of slack than you.”
“I don’t know about that-”
“If the roles were reversed,” you posited, “And I’d been through all of the trauma and abuse that you went through, would you be upset with me if I couldn’t do certain things because of my anxiety ?”
“No,” he gave a fervent shake of his head. “Never.”
“And would you want me to be kind to myself?”
Without pause, an “of course” fell from his lips.
“Okay, then you need to extend that same kindness and understanding to yourself.”
“But I just want to be able to do stuff with you,” he huffed. “I want to go to parties with you. And concerts. And-”
“Hey, all that will come with time, okay? There’s no rush.” Once again, you gave his hand a squeeze, “You’re my best friend, and I just wanna hang out with you. So, it doesn’t matter what we do. As long as you’re comfortable, I’m happy.”
Bucky eyed you for a second, “You mean that?”
You nodded, “I swear on my life.”
An awkward smile crossed his face, “Then I guess I should tell you that I’m not- I really don’t want to watch a scary movie.”
“Oh, shit. My bad, Buck. We can watch anything you want,” you said, “You pick.”
With a few taps of the remote, Bucky opened an entirely different streaming service and selected a safe movie free of actual scares.
“It’s still on theme with Halloween,” he promised, “But at least it’s not gonna give me more nightmares.”
“Yeah, whatever you want, I don’t-” The opening lines of Hocus Pocus filled the room, and you delivered a playful punch to Bucky’s arm.
He let out a loud laugh, “I had to, sweetheart. You’ve still got the make up on and everything.”
You pelted him with a few M&Ms before settling close to him. He draped an arm across your shoulders and pulled you tight, relishing in your warmth. He was so lucky to have you as his friend, so lucky to know you. He couldn’t believe you’d ditched the party you’d looked forward to for weeks- all for him. Couldn’t believe that you were spending your favorite holiday unceremoniously watching movies on his couch.
But he knew better than to look a gift horse in the mouth. After everything he’d gone through, he was just grateful that he’d befriended someone with such a kind heart. And as he settled in to experience Hocus Pocus for the first time, he started plotting how he’d make things up to you next Halloween.
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@beefybuckrrito @shadytalementality @everything-burns-down @rainbow-unicorn-pony @mandersshow @breakablebarnes @psychoticmason @glxwingrxse @lonewolf471 @purpleshallot @seitmai @itvy5601 @dailyreverie @navs-bhat @eviesaurusrex @themorningsunshine @buckys-metal-arm @broadwaybabe18 @the-kestrels-feather @avocadotoastwithegg @goldylions @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @vrittivsanghavi @idkitsem @avengetheunnatural @rassvetsky @hereforbuckyandsteve @juvellian @samanthacookieone @frombkjar @blackbirdsinatrenchcoat @anything-more-than-human
#bucky barnes#james bucky barnes#james buchanan bucky barnes#bucky#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes one shot#bucky barnes oneshot#bucky barnes reader insert#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x reader fluff#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x yn#bucky barnes x you#bucky fanfic#bucky fanfiction#bucky fic#bucky x female reader#bucky x reader#bucky x reader fluff#bucky x y/n#bucky x you#fatws bucky#Bucky fluff#halloween
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To think I was worried about this IF ending up too short for anyone to be interested.
The hospital section in this Chapter alone is only getting longer and longer. I keep thinking of new important details and little extra scenes to add just to complete the psych ward experience (TM).
Some interesting details about Zima and MC's past mental state below cut (might be important):
Zima has now had their first interview section, mainly determining the details of the nature of their past involvement with MC. There's a total of four options. If you enjoyed the choice of Stevie having a crush on MC, you're gonna love this.
MC can be hospitalized due to either depression or social anxiety, as these are the only conditions that I feel wholly comfortable writing. I considered also offering a combination of the two, but ultimately decided against it, as the MC's oast mental illness will eventually influence the future of the story and I want those paths to be very distinct and different.
Please mind that, while everyone who suffers from mental illness of any kind has their own totally subjective and individual experience with it, I'm writing social phobic and depressive MCs with certain "set" symptoms. Here are some set elements:
Social phobia MCs experience physical symptoms and selective mutism. They are nervous and quiet, so all their interactions, especially in the beginning of their hospitalization (even when picking the antagonistic options) will reflect that. So if you're wondering why MC seems to be acting meek or "submissive", it's bc of their affliction not allowing them to be as outspoken as they might like to be. Social phobia MCs have a general exhaustion of life, given they live in constant stress, but they do not self-harm. They are prone to sleep disturbances.
Depressive MCs experience listlessness, irritation (which can makes them more prone to acting aggressively), feelings of self-loathing and dissatisfaction. They have a heightened need for sleep and will report not wanting to get out of bed. They can, in fact, choose to be currently practicing self-harm, or to have done so in the past. However, even if they choose to have never self-harmed, they will report thoughts of suicide.
Either MC will be medicated during their time in the clinic. It's a small text section and a slight bit vague as my medical knowledge, despite my research efforts, is limited. The MC will get to choose how to feel about the drugs and the potential side effects, though.
Either MC will be able to additionally describe symptoms indicating neurodivergence.
Either MC can choose to be underage smoking, drinking or both during this time. Or neither, of course.
So thanks for reading all that! Small disclaimer: I know very well that the depression and social phobia symptoms I chose to write about are NOT universally representative. This all might sound like the routes are very set, but there's actually a ton of customization going on in this chapter, so don't you worry! (Also it's gonna be rly important for the future of the band)
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The Van Fund, or "Help Pops become homeless so they can finally stop begging for rent money every goddamn month"
Hey y'all! I'm Pops (they/them), a broke-as-hell nonbinary autistic anarchist. People who follow me will know that earlier this year I got a full-time nonprofit job, which I truly believed in and did my best at while I was there. Unfortunately, my best wasn't good enough, and by the end of my term there I was getting lectures from my boss daily (same as all my previous jobs - being autistic enough to suck at work but not autistic enough to get any sympathy or accommodations is hell). Eventually I was so ground down and burnt out that I quit, and I've spent the several months since paralyzed with depression. On top of that, while working there the partner I was living with dumped me forcing me to move into a shitty one-bedroom apartment, and shortly after moving there my motorcycle (my only vehicle) was stolen. Needless to say, being trapped in this tiny space alone with no transportation has not been good for my already historically bad mental health
At this point, the thought of ever working a capitalist job again genuinely makes me suicidal, so I've been looking into other ways of living. After talking to some very helpful folks and looking through various resources online, I've decided to get a used contractor van and live in it for the time being. I intend to dedicate the extra time, energy, money, and freedom that'll give me (plus the van itself, when it can be useful) to mutual aid and the broader anarchist struggle as much as possible
To summarize: capitalism sucks, I'm gonna live in a van and do anarchy instead
Like I mentioned before, I'm completely broke. I know how I'm gonna make money once I have the van, but without transportation I don't have a lot of options. That's why I'm asking you guys for help
After looking around online, I settled on a goal of $3000 to buy a van outright and have it delivered here. If you're in a comfortable enough financial position to help me out, you can contribute to the goal on my ko-fi. I also have a patreon, and you can DM me for my venmo, paypal, or cashapp. Hopefully, unless something unexpected happens down the road, this should be the last big begpost I'll ever have to make
Thank you for reading, and thank you all for your help all these years. Reblogs are appreciated
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didn’t even overhaul my pinned links yet
me overhauling my pinned links instead of writing fics and rb things in my drafts
#LISTENFNDNFNFNFNFNF I STARTED REWATCHING JUNGKOOK’S LIVES BC I MISS HIM 😭#doing this TODAY for REAL for REAL#and rb stuff in my drafts idk how people have 200 drafts baby i can only deal w 30/40 MAX before i get antsy 😭#gonna be rb everything art wise that i got tagged in! (extra fank yew to mickey :3)#then tonight i’ll rb fics (ari + io + rem + risu here i come :3)#and THEN. HOPEFULLY. before all this i can decide how i want my pinned links to look like#i’ve been meaning to change the color scheme for my tag index i love me the blood red but idk if that’s the Vibes anymore 😭#i’ll probably keep it actually i’m too lazy to change it yet NDJDJDDJ but i’ll make my fics more easier access! :D#AND THENNNNNNNNNNNN. i’ll try working on my gojo fic & the black is the color prequel fic :3#maybe even the tense/depressed/anxious cult leader geto x heavenly restriction reader fic :3#also one of my fav artists ever i think just accidentally followed me but idk how to tell them 😭 i can’t just slide into their dm’s abt it#user to00fu if you end up seeing this which i don’t think you will just wanna let you know that i think you accidentally followed my acct 😭#BUT I LOVE YOUUUUUU AND YOU CHANGED LIVES 🗣️ beauty mark suguru… dilf toji… prettyboy toru… bad bitch sukie�� i’m Thankful 2 see such beauty#ALSO RAHHHHHHH HAIKYUU!! MOVIE TOMORROWWWWWWWWWWWW#and i found out that sakamoto days AND choujin x is on shonen jump… i WILL be tuning in#anyways i hope everyone has a super nice day today :3 gotta do chores and then i’ll rb/tag/link stuff <3#personal
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As usual, gym OOTD is: “Hasn’t accepted that he needs to size up.” 🐷 skipping cardio and letting my shirt ride up in front of everyone when I do my lifts.
I’m really being a fat slut recently. I’ve just been crushing my protein goals after a lengthy period of being too depressed to build muscle. I am feeling so BIG and loving the growing strength. I’m just totally embracing my appetite and the jiggles.
Oh course, I’m sure that it’s only a matter of time before I start freaking out again about the new highs on the scale and make another pathetic attempt at losing some of it. I’m not worried though. I know where I’m eventually going to end up and it’s going to make me so happy.
Standing at the precipice of stepping off the cliff of the 150 lb range is as thrilling and euphoric as it is genuinely terrifying. I can see myself and my path to 165 lbs (which would be my ideal next pit stop on my way to my goal of obesity at 180 lbs) but dang, I’m gonna be ruined physically and mentally if I’m not careful. I think that so long as I keep in shape I can mostly convince myself that my weight isn’t /too/ bad but it’s such a tight line to walk to not get fat too fast to stay fit (for me at least) and it gets more and more tempting to be lazy with every extra pound.
I’ve also basically decided that I’m gonna seek medication related to diabetes prophylactically when I reach that point. Like, I can eat as plant based as possible and work out to support my cholesterol and blood pressure but with my family history and signs of insulin insensitivity already appearing at a certain weight I’m gonna need some sort of pancreatic support - to minimize the squeeze from visceral fat if nothing else (besides more subq would be sexyyyyyyy) I’ve made a ridiculous delusional plan that I could access something like that and it could actually really support my gain by preventing damage from my obesity instead of reacting to it and hopefully minimize the chances of being in a situation where I have to lose weight for my health.
“Piggy boy is such a fatass that he needs meds because he just can’t say no to ice cream, doc. That’s why his belly is spilling out of his shirt and he’s up 10 pounds year over year for the past 5 years. You better do something quick before he starts tipping past 200 lbs and the gains accelerate until he can barely waddle back into this office.”
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dreaming of a white christmas - rhett abbott x reader
pairing: rhett abbott x wife!reader
summary: in which christmas miracles still happen.
warnings: 18+ only. fluff. soft sex. oral (f receiving). christmas cheer. rhett’s the best husband. rhett walking around naked.
a/n: this is my submission for @lewmagoo’s christmas celebration! i’m so sorry it’s late my love but i hope you enjoy this little fic! and happy holidays to everyone! i hope it’s a good one 🩵.
“We’re looking at a warm and sunny Christmas day. No signs of accumulation over the next week.”
Weatherman Todd Carter crushed all of your dreams in one sentence. Every year since you could remember, there had been inches upon inches of snow throughout the month of December. This year was a little disappointing, but you had been holding out hope for Christmas.
That was your favorite thing about this time of year. The white snow covering the mountains like a blanket. The serene and beautiful landscape always made you feel like a child again.
The early mornings, bundled up from head to toe in snow gear heading out to feed the animals. The anticipation of Santa coming to visit as you baked cookies with your mother. It all reminded you of a happier time. And now thanks to Todd, you weren’t going to have that feeling this year.
Rhett came in that evening and could tell you were upset. It was your second Christmas in your new home and the place was decorated from floor to ceiling. He always said it looked like an elf threw up. You thought it was just enough, but you kept adding more every time you came back from the store.
“Hey, honey,” Rhett greeted you, planting a wet kiss to your cheek. “What’s the frown for?”
“Stupid Todd,” you mumbled as you stirred the cake batter for the chocolate cake you were baking.
“Todd? Who the hell-“
“The weatherman on Channel 7! He said there wasn’t gonna be any snow on Christmas!” You sounded like a spoiled child whining about not getting a toy. The corner of Rhett’s mouth quirked up. “It’s not funny. It’s depressing. We’ve always had a white Christmas.”
“Sweetheart, just because there’s not gonna be any snow doesn’t mean it’s going to be any less perfect. You’ll make sure of that,” Rhett swiped a finger in the cocoa mixture, licking it clean with a shit-eating grin on his face. “Good cake by the way.”
“It’ll be even better if you stop trying to give yourself salmonella,” you swatted at him to get out of the kitchen.
Rhett waltzed out of the kitchen with an extra swing in his step, his tight Wranglers leaving nothing to imagine. It was your favorite pair and he knew it. As he showered and cleaned up, you finished baking your cake. You even threw in a batch of cookies for the hell of it, trying to ignore Rhett’s voice saying in your head “stress baking.”
The holidays were such a wonderful time, but after you and Rhett had married it had become exhausting. Trying to find time for both families and leaving each place more overwhelmed than when you arrived was enough for you to decide to spend Christmas with each other this year.
The repeated questions of “when are you having kids? when are you going to move back to the ranch? why don’t you move closer to us?” wore you down to the point you nearly broke.
You wanted a family but children weren’t on the table at the moment. You and Rhett wanted to travel. See the world. Get out of the little small town you both grew up in.
A strong pair of arms wrapping around your middle snapped you from your thoughts, a scratchy jaw tickled your neck as feather light kisses were placed to your pulse point.
“I know that look. You’re thinkin’ too much again,” Rhett mumbled against your skin.
“Just thinking about you. About us,” you replied, swaying in his embrace.
“I can’t believe it’s our second Christmas. And it’s just us this year. Thank god,” Rhett muttered the last words. He couldn’t stand your aunt Susie. She was touchy.
Rhett continued placing soft kisses on your neck, causing you to moan quietly and lean your head back against his chest. You could feel him smirk. Smug bastard.
“You know… that fire I’ve got going looks real cozy…”
“What are you hinting at?”
“I’m saying I want to eat my wife out by the fire on Christmas Eve so she’ll stop pouting about no snow,” Rhett said bluntly, tightening his hold on you.
And he did just that. He laid out the softest blanket you had on the floor, laid you on your back and threw your legs over his shoulder. His tongue made slow figure eight movements from your clit to your pulsating entrance.
Your knuckles were white from the grip on his long locks, tugging harshly when his lips suctioned on your bud.
“Rhett- fuck- oh Go-God!” You stammered, hips bucking against his face.
He didn’t stop until your thighs were quaking and your juices covered his chin. He made a point to make dramatic slurping noises as he was pulling away.
“That’s it. I don’t need to open a single present tomorrow,” Rhett said as he placed his head on your lower stomach, kneading your thighs gently to stop them from shaking.
“Oh no. You’re opening those presents, mister. I have kept them a secret long enough.”
“I love you, baby.”
“Please fuck me now,” you pouted, practically pawing at him.
“Greedy little thing,” he teased.
So you made love all night by the fire, eventually falling asleep in your husband’s arms and dreaming of a snow white covered yard with two little girls running after Rhett.
The early morning sun shined brightly through the living room window, much brighter than it typically did. You blinked slowly, holding back a giggle at the sound of Rhett’s snoring. You knew he’d be complaining about his back later.
Wrapping an extra blanket around yourself, you made your way to the kitchen to start the coffee, not even bothering to look outside. You didn’t want to be disappointed.
As your cup finished brewing, you stood at the kitchen sink and nearly dropped the mug as you looked outside and saw nearly six inches of snow piled up out front.
You shrieked and caused Rhett to jump awake. He didn’t grab the blanket and stood in the middle of your living room stark naked.
“Where’s the fire?”
“THERE’S SNOW. A WHITE CHRISTMAS,” You exclaimed loudly, wrapping the blanket around you tighter and throwing the front door open. You were greeted with a bitter chill, one that went to the bone and brought a wide smile to your face.
It soon became too much and you hurried inside, Rhett still walking around without clothes on which didn’t surprise you.
“So Todd lied, huh?” Rhett joked as he sipped on your abandoned coffee.
“I could cry right now. A white Christmas. My favorite,” you whispered, grinning to yourself.
“Darlin’, I pray every Christmas will be white just so I can see this joy on your face every time,” Rhett said as he shimmied his way towards you.
“Go put some clothes on. I’ll start breakfast and then we’re doing presents.”
“Yes ma’am,” Rhett winked, yelping when you smack his ass as he walked away.
You spent the day with just the two of you, both laughing and crying at the different presents you got each other. You watched many Christmas movies while you snacked on the lunch you fixed and watched the snow as you drank hot cocoa. You saved White Christmas for last and you couldn’t stop yourself from shedding a tear as Bing Crosby crooned “may your days be merry and bright. and may all your Christmases be white.”
#a lew magoo christmas#rhett abbott#rhett abbott x reader#rhett abbott x you#rhett abbott fanfiction#rhett abbott smut#rhett abbott fluff#outer range#outer range fanfiction
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I just wanna let y’all know….
When Erik decides to release a Sam audio with a title like,
“Discussing Your Decision With Your Vampire Mate”
I’m going to scream SOOO loud that y’all will hear me from wherever you guys are in the world
Like I’m gonna be in physical pain when Darlin actually makes their decision
Because either way I’m gonna cry!
I want Darlin to stay a shifter! But either way theirs no winning no matter what Darlin chooses
But I still feel like staying a shifter is the better option because even if Darlin turns, Sam isn’t gonna stay alive with them forever. Obviously he’s gonna be with them for longer than if they stay a shifter but either way he leaves them alone.
So really theirs only three options….
Darlin stays a shifter and lives a “regular” life with Sam and dies before him
Darlin turns and gets extra time with Sam but also loses him later on (meaning they’d be alone)
Darlin turns but decides that when Sam is ready to go out that they will go with him
EITHER WAY THESE OPTIONS ARE ALL DEPRESSING IN THEIR OWN WAY!!!
(Personally I’m only okay with option 1 and 3)
They make me so happy and so sad at the same time!😭
(I feel like I’ve talked about this before but it came to my brain again)
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hi!! i was wondering if you would write more ab spencer, r, and baby amanda from your single dad au? :o they’re so precious <3
Thank you for your request! ♥︎ fem!reader 1.6k
"How come you aren't hungover?" Spencer asks.
You can barely hear him over the cacophony of the crowd. You're waiting for Hotch to finish his decathlon, the girls in their sunglasses, Jack and Morgan holding a homemade sign aloft.
Amanda's sitting on the barrier with her weight against Spencer's chest, her soft brown hair splayed out against his collar like a wave.
"I know the meaning of moderation," you say with a sweet smile.
You might be imagining the pinking of his cheeks. "Not moderate enough, clearly," he jokes.
JJ hadn't picked Henry up until three in the morning. Which is fine, Spencer will take Henry whenever he needs to, as per his self-ordained godfathering duties, but when JJ hadn't appeared at 11 like she'd promised, Spencer had obviously been worried.
"Things got a little… out of control." You dip your face to his ear. "I've never seen Emily dance like that. It was crazy."
"I wish I could've been there, but we had a date with Edward Tulane, didn't we, Amy?"
Amanda tips her head back at her father's affectionate tone. "Daddy, I can't feel my butt."
"Not your butt!" he says, taking her seriously but chuckling at the same time as he pulls her up and off of the barrier. With some careful manoeuvring, he's tucked Amanda into his chest, one hand held protectively over the bottom of her back. The other hooks behind her knees.
"Is that better?"
He speaks to her with the same fatherly fondness as always and every time you find yourself melty like butter in the summer sun. In Spencer's eyes, Amanda is the smartest, most interesting girl alive. You're tempted to agree.
"I was worried it might be depressing for her," he says, tucking her hair behind her ear. "It's sad for a children's story, you know? But she's really interested, and it's important for kids to hear sad stories. Children who read stories with unhappy plotlines are more empathetic, and have a stronger sense of justice." He smiles at her. "Plus, I think it's her favourite so far. She asked if we could read it again, all in one go. It's gonna take hours."
"That doesn't surprise me. I mean, she's yours. I thought you'd be reading her Tolstoy by now."
"I'm saving Tolstoy for first grade."
He's serious.
Hotch runs through the finish line and the members of the BAU that are assembled cheer loudly. He doesn't seem embarrassed at all, only proud, ducking down to give Jack a sweaty hug. Then he, Jack, and his new girlfriend move away from the group. The remaining members of your team start to break away, too.
The girls all want to go home and die in their own beds. Rossi and Morgan have separate dates. You're thinking you'll go home and shoot the breeze until a more reasonable bedtime when Spencer turns to you with his usual genial smile.
"Do you want to come over? We're gonna make pasta and watch Fraggle Rock."
Spencer's changed a lot since he became Amanda's primary caregiver, but some things stay the same. He loves doing things with other people and he'll always extend an invite if he thinks the other party might enjoy themselves. Going over for dinner feels a lot more intimate than his having an extra ticket for a foreign film festival, or late night takeout, though.
"I don't want to impose," you say awkwardly.
"Do you think you're an imposition?" Spencer asks in concern.
"No, just, you know, I don't…"
"Amy doesn't mind. Do you, sweetheart?"
"What?" says Amanda's little voice.
"Can Y/N come for dinner?" he asks.
Amanda smiles, pearly white teeth and cheeks chubby with baby fat. "Yes! We're gonna make pasta and watch Fraggle Rock!"
You laugh in delight.
"We decided in the car," Spencer explains.
"Here I thought you were telepathic." You direct your smile at Amanda's doe eyes. "I'd love to come for dinner. Thanks, baby."
Spencer has the cleanest car any parent has ever had. You know he spent days choosing the safest one he could find in his budget, and even more days on a car seat. His apartment is just as clean but way more crowded, stuffed to bursting with Amanda's toys and his books.
"I'm gonna change, do you mind?" he asks, leading you down the hall into the kitchen. Amanda had tipped half a juice box down his front, and the stickiness is clearly making him uncomfortable.
"No, by all means."
He smiles. "Stay here," he says with a feigned sternness, pointing one of his pretty fingers at Amanda. His daughter only giggles.
You follow Spencer with your eyes as he leaves.
"Will you take off my shoes, please?"
You look down. Amanda stares up at you, her round eyes pleading, one foot held a half inch off of the ground.
You leap to action, and say, "Oh! Yeah, baby, no problem," as you get down on your knees.
They're simple buckles and take all of ten seconds. Amanda holds onto your arm and lifts her feet one at a time so you can pull them off. Her small toes wiggle in her socks when she puts them back on the floor.
"Feel better?" you ask knowingly.
"Daddy says shoes are a con-d-struct," she tells you.
"They are!" you say, though whether you really agree might take some thought. "They're silly, huh?"
"Yeah. If we walked with no shoes, we would have tough skin like trees!"
"Like trees," you repeat. You love listening to little kids speak because they're so full of joy to share what they know, and Spencer Reid's kid? She is a walking book of facts. "That's so cool, did daddy tell you that?"
"Daddy tells me everything."
Spencer appears in a graphic t-shirt. You've only seen him dressed down through barely open hotel room doors or in photographs with Amanda. It takes a second for your brain to recognise what you're seeing.
He's a genius, so he understands what you're doing immediately.
"Oh no," he coos, bending down to take Amanda's shoulders into his hands. "I'm so sorry," —he kisses the top of her head— "I forgot all about your shoes. How will you ever get tree bark feet?"
It's sweet to see how she responds to his affection. Her eyes squint closed and she smiles softly, giggling when he scratches her shoulders through her dress.
"Thanks for releasing her, she can't stand wearing shoes when she doesn't have to," he says to you, nudging her out of the way to offer you his hand.
You take it, letting him pull you up. He doesn't let go of you straight away, instead brushing his thumb over your fingernails, one after another.
"I've been meaning to ask you to dinner for a while. I– I've never been any good at this part, I thought it would be harder, because Amanda's the only girl in the world I understand no matter how many books I read, and that's not going to last forever, but I…" Spencer's voice steadily quietens, until the tone he's using is dulcet, and his brows have pulled together. He's just as pretty frowning as smiling. "It feels easy, with you," he finishes.
"Are we having macaroni?" Amanda asks.
Spencer looks torn. "I was thinking rigatoni," he says.
"Gross, dad."
"Farfalle?"
"Bowties?" she questions suspiciously.
"Is that better than rigatoni?" he asks.
Amanda dwells on this, leaning her weight into your leg. It's an unthinking gesture that fills you with light.
"We can't have macaroni?"
You know from Spencer's bemused sigh alone that she's about to get her way.
"Do you mind?" he asks you.
Amanda pins you with a pout, raising her hands into a praying triangle. Her puppy dog eyes are killer and unnecessary.
"Whatever you want, babe," you say hurriedly.
She bursts off to her toys with an excited cheer. You're sorry to see her go, petrified of embracing yourself, and still majorly caught off guard by what Spencer said. He's wanted to ask you over for dinner for a long time, does that mean he likes you? And the way he'd held your hand — that's not an ambiguous affection.
You like Spencer. All the small things that make him him, and the huge things too. His daughter, his books, his genius mind and his clumsy heart. If he likes you too, you might just combust.
Spencer nips into the living room to put Fraggle Rock on TV. Amanda's sweet voice chases his heels, her singing a mixture of melodic gibberish and passionate recitation.
You linger as he starts to gather what he needs for dinner. He's either not worried about what you think of his confession or trying to hide that he is, knee deep in a recount of the invention of boxed mac and cheese when you touch his elbow.
"I know what you mean, about what you said before, I feel the same. It feels easy with you."
You don't know what it is. But Spencer knows everything, so you aren't worried.
He beams. His smile warps each word he says as he turns back to the saucepan he's filling with pasta. "Maybe we should get dinner without Fraggle Rock, sometime."
"I don't know, I don't think it gets any better than this." You nod your head toward the living room, Amanda's singing an adorable echo.
His smile grows impossibly bigger.
"Me neither," he says.
#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x fem!reader#dad!spencer reid#dad spencer reid#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds#criminal minds fic
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hello!! i was wondering if i could request a reader who feels alienated and depressed because she is basically a loner at school and bakugou who goes out of his way to spend time with her, bringing her lunch to share and ends up confessing to her?
the days of the week
contains: fluff word count: 2.1k a/n: yes yes yesss,,, only i changed some things bc thats how it worked out in my head. also it's short and sweet, but i had fun drifting off from my wips and getting to put my mind on something new
monday:
"What're you doing here?" you stared up from your book at Bakugou, who'd plopped himself down beside you.
It was lunchtime, and you'd found yourself outside under the tree near the end of the field, alone, as you'd been since the sports festival.
"Why? M'not allowed to eat lunch here?" he gave you a sneer as he raised his eyebrow.
"No," you rolled your eyes. "I was asking why you were here. You don't normally sit here, you sit inside with everyone else."
"So? Do I need a reason?"
"Nevermind," you shook your head, returning to your book.
"Yer not eating anything?" he started again after a moment of silence, and you looked up at him with despair.
"Does it matter?"
"Yeah, it fuckin' does," his eyes narrowed in your direction. "How the fuck am I supposed to beat you at your full power in training if you haven't even eaten anything?"
That's what this is about.
There were going to be one-on-one sparring sessions that day in training, and All Might (very fortunately) had disclosed everyone's partner ahead of time so that everyone had enough time to prepare for their opponent's quirk.
"Listen Bakugou, I'll make sure to put in my all, or whatever. I'm still fine without eating."
You found a part of yourself trying to appease him, despite the weird mind games he was playing. You knew it was just because of what he'd seen your quirk do in the sports festival — and why everyone in your class had practically dumped you, even if they were too scared to admit it — and because he was so obsessed with winning.
A bowl was suddenly nudged in front you, and you had to look up from your book again to see Bakugou giving you another look.
"M'not fighting you if you haven't eaten anything," he announced defiantly.
The look he was giving you made it seem as if you had lost the argument, especially since he was almost gloating as he raised his eyebrows as a way to force you to challenge him.
"Okay," you shrugged before turning back down. "Don't fight me then."
You heard him growl under his breath, and before you could internally celebrate your victory, your book was pulled out of your hands and you looked back up at him in shock.
"Listen here you shitty fuckin' extra," he snarled. "I am not going to miss out on training just because you decided to be a bitch and spite me. So eat yer damn food."
"Give me my book back."
"No."
"Give it back, Bakugou."
"Not gonna happen."
"Ugh! Just give it to me!"
"What are ya gonna do, extra? Fight me?" he taunted, and you quickly realized what he was playing at.
"Fucking fine!" you huffed, grabbing the bowl of ramen and downing it in under a minute. It wasn't hot, thankfully, since it'd been out for a while — and you looked back at Bakugou after finishing and wiping your mouth with the back of your wrist.
"Give. It."
He tossed the book back at you without a second thought, and you shot him a glare before letting out a breath when you realized that the page you were reading was still bookmarked.
Only Bakugou didn't leave after that. He sat there and chewed on his onigiri for the rest of the period before getting up a couple minutes before the bell rang.
Fuckin' weirdo.
. . .
tuesday:
"Yer still not eating anything?" Bakugou said as he placed his lunch tray on the grass next to where you were sitting, again.
After your match yesterday (where Bakugou had still won, obviously), you thought that he would leave you alone, since you weren't friends and he didn't have any reasons to talk to you besides your match.
"Why does it matter?" you looked up from your book, surprised. Why was he back?
"Because you need to eat," he rolled his eyes. "Isn't that fuckin' obvious?"
You resolved his statement with a glare that he didn't acknowledge, watching as he instead pushed half of a sandwich towards you before taking a bite of his curry.
"Why are you here?" you glanced between him and the sandwich.
"To eat. Isn't that obvious?"
"No, asshole. Why are you here?"
"Because I can."
"Just because you can, doesn't mean you should," you raised an eyebrow, watching as a vein popped out of his forehead when he turned to you.
"Listen extra," he dropped his chopsticks to point a finger at you. "I can sit wherever the fuck I want. Now shut the fuck up and eat your sandwich."
You gave him an unimpressed look before grabbing the sandwich and tearing the paper it was wrapped in harshly. You made sure that you bit and chewed into it aggressively, just wanting him to shut up so you could read your book but still let him know that you were angry about him coming and sitting next to you — but you were still a little hungry since you'd skipped breakfast that morning.
You didn't notice the little triumphant look Bakugou gave himself as he watched you from the side — angrily chewing the sandwich while your eyes scanned the page in front of you.
He'd won again.
. . .
wednesday:
"What's this lame ass book you've always got your nose stuck in?" Bakugou announced as he sat down next to you again, only you weren't as bothered by his presence as you'd been the day before.
You still let out an audible groan though when you looked up, watching as Bakugou slid over a plate with sushi before biting into his own salad.
"Why do you keep bringing me lunch?"
"I've told you this already," he rolled his eyes. "Use your fuckin' brain for once."
"No- Let me just.." you put your book down and stared at him. "I meant, why do you keep coming and sitting with me and bringing me lunch and stuff? I'm fine on my own."
"Answer my question first," he looked up from eating. "You didn't answer me."
"Just a romance," you rolled your eyes. "Now why do keep sitting with me?"
"The best friend was super shitty in that one," Bakugou mumbled in passing when he finally found himself noticing the title of the book, but his eyes widened in an instant to find a cat-like grin stretching across your face.
"How do you know that?" you asked him slyly.
"I don't know what you're talking about," he tried to seem nonchalant about it, looking back with a glare that was probably supposed to deter you from asking any further — but it seemed to have no weight when you willingly scooched closer to him.
"I clearly heard you Bakugou," you raised an eyebrow, watching as his eyes refused to look back down at the book cover again in definace.
"I didn't say anything."
You stared him down, this time watching as he crumbled, putting down his bowl before he spoke.
"I fuckin' read it before, okay?" he threw his arms up. "What else do you think happened? But if you tell another goddamn soul about this, I'm gonna kill you. Got it?"
"Yeah got it — I won't," you shrugged him off. "But what does she do?"
"Huh?"
"You said the best friend was shitty. What did she do?"
You watched Bakugou roll his his eyes before finally giving in, slumping against the tree trunk you always sat next to like he was letting the weight fall off his shoulders.
"Remember when she told the main character girl about the second guy liking her and all that."
"You mean Ryu?"
"Yeah that idiot — well she did it because she was trying to get the brother mad at the both of them so she could ask the main guy out instead," Bakugou went back to eating his salad smugly, watching as your face twisted into shock.
"Of course she wanted to get with Haru!" you stared at the book now sitting in the grass. "I thought it was so weird when she told her because it was so obvious she was already jealous about Haru not liking her."
"Yeah," Bakugou barely shrugged, taking another bite.
You'd forgotten about your question this time, but he wasn't sure he would be so lucky if you asked him again.
At least it was fun to talk about something he never got to.
.
.
.
thursday:
The fact that you were reading a different book today instantly caught Bakugou's attention as he sat down at your usual spot, two bento boxes in hand.
"What happened to the other one?" he gestured to the thicker, hardcover book.
"You basically spoiled it," you shrugged. "So I'm rereading a different one instead."
Bakugou didn't say anything as he slid a bento box over to you, pulling out his chopsticks as you put your book down.
"I didn't see bento's in the lunch room today. I was hoping for pizza actually."
"I'm not yer damn waiter. Just shut up and appreciate the food you're given," he rolled his eyes.
"Where'd you get them from though?" you asked as you opened the bento, a small smile creeping up at the neatly packed food inside.
"...I made 'em," he almost whispered, eyes strained as you took a bite of the salmon he made.
"It's good!" you looked up at him with wide eyes. "I didn't know you could cook so well."
"Of course I fuckin' can," he sneered, turning back to his box like he wasn't intently watching your reaction. "I'm the best cook in our class."
"I wouldn't be so sure," you raised an eyebrow. "Sato's actually really good at baking."
"That's not the same thing you idiot."
"Aren't they similar though?"
"No."
And it was silent again, the both of you eating under the tree until you finally spoke again.
"Why do you keep sitting with me, Bakugou?"
It was hard for Bakugou to look up after those words came off your lips in a nonchalant manner — how was he supposed to answer with the truth?
"Does it fuckin' matter?" he deflected. "Why're you always sitting alone then?"
"I dunno," you rolled your eyes as if the answer was obvious, your face scrunching when you realized his question was serious.
"You're being serious?" you asked with an almost gaped mouth.
"Does it look like I'm joking?"
"My quirk," you said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and Bakugou only gave you a look of bewilderment.
"The sports festival?" you reiterated. "How I had that guy from Class B under my control and stuff?"
"So?" he looked away. "You did okay. It's not even like you won or anything."
"Do I really have to spell it out for you? People think my quirk is villainous."
It wasn't like Bakugou didn't notice the change in attitude towards you after the sports festival and the true nature of your quirk was revealed, but he really believed that the people around him were better than that.
He saw how the media was treating his own outbursts, and while in the tiniest way possible he could understand them — your reaction was unwarranted.
"Don't say shit like that," Bakugou looked up to you seriously. "If no one else around you can see that your quirk's good enough to become a hero, fuck 'em. They weren't worth being in your life anyways. Got that?"
You paused, seemingly unable to speak from the weight his words left hanging in the air — but you finally nodded slightly, picking up your book from where it was still open in the grass.
"Thanks."
.
.
.
friday:
You didn't startle today when Bakugou found his place beside you, nonchalantly turning the page without registering his existence. He couldn't help but let the silence linger — you looked peaceful while quietly reading — letting himself start eating his own lunch after pushing a plate in front of you.
Your book snapped shut after a couple moments, suddenly, and he could feel your eyes boring holes into the side of his head.
"Bakugou."
"Hmm?"
"Why do you keep eating lunch with me?"
But as soon as he opened his mouth to deflect, you interrupted him.
"And I know that it's not because you wanna make sure that I'm in top shape or whatever — and you can't deflect the question like every other time I've asked you this, okay?" You were staring at him seriously.
"Okay, you wanna know why?" he started, putting his chopsticks on his plate before turning towards you straight on. "I like you, Y/N — more than as a friend would."
You blinked at him, clearly startled by his response. "Why?"
"Whadd'ya mean why? Does there have to be reason?" He sneered. Were you being serious?
"But... My quirk..."
"Didn't I already tell you? Anyone who thinks that has shit for brains. Now shut up and eat your food."
#keke.writes#not what i've usually been writing but it was kinda fun lol#bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugou x reader#bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugo katsuki x reader#mha fanfiction#bnha bakugou katsuki
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The Only Reason
Summary: Even though your relationship with Christian has been rocky, neither of you are willing to go down without a fight.
Warnings: 18+, arguments, panic attack, a lot of crying, angst but a fluffy (if you can call it that I guess) ending, SMUT, some dirty talk, soft dom!Chris, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it and make sure you're not allergic to your wrap!), fingering, oral (f receiving), creampie, the smut is sweet tbh
WC: 4.4K
A/N: It's my birthday but this is a present for all of you! Inspired by "The Only Reason" by 5 Seconds of Summer. My first attempt at smut which lowkey I wasn't supposed to add but it fit anyway. This is a step considering I'm openly horny on main now so you might see more in the future 👀. I literally changed it 1274045923845 times but I'm happy with the way it turned out so I hope you guys think it's good-
"Even though my dizzy head is numb
I swear my heart is never giving up.
You're the reason
The only reason."
~~~
The front door slammed shut, indicating Christian was finally home from training. You sighed, praying this would blow over quickly so you could enjoy your dinner.
The past few weeks had been incredibly frustrating for the both of you. Chelsea had been on a losing streak with hardly any goals and Christian hardly got any play time. He was in the middle of trying to negotiate some sort of deal with the club, either to transfer or give him more playing time. Although it wasn't the option he preferred, it was likely he'd be transferred somewhere else soon, and with that contract talks had to be opened. He loved Chelsea, but the club didn't seem to return that love to him. It heavily weighed on Christian's mind, slowly draining him of the love he had for the sport, sending him deeper into a depressive and angry spiral causing him lash out on everyone.
On top of that, your own stresses had started building up. Your workload had tripled due to you being short staffed. Every time you thought you were done with a project, a modification was added or a brand new one was added to your list of things to do. You were working overtime almost every single day and you were close to ripping your hair out.
Between your work and Christian's training, you'd hardly seen each other over the past few months. He'd been extra short with you recently, something that was pretty unusual for Christian. You were typically the one who struggled to keep your anger in check, but these days it seemed your boyfriend could give you a run for your money. Most days you spent sleeping away from each other as opposed to being cuddled in each others arms. During the very brief moments you did end up spending time together, more often than not it resulted in some kind of an argument.
You both agreed earlier that morning that you were in desperate need of some kind of date night to ease your minds and to spend time together. You decided that a simple dinner would be sufficient enough. It was something small, you wouldn't have to go anywhere, and it was always one of your favorite date ideas since you'd gotten together. You were excited to finally spend time with your boyfriend even if it wasn't anything fancy.
But you knew by the way Christian slammed the door that he thought otherwise. He angrily threw his training bag to the side, grumbling to himself.
"Chris, it doesn't do you any good to pace angrily around the house," you sighed. "At least come eat and try to take your mind off things."
It seemed you only made him angrier.
"God, what don't you get?!" he snapped back. "Fucking food isn't gonna help the situation. Our team is shit, this situation is shit, everything is shit!"
You stood up from your place at the table, upset with Christian for yelling at you when you just wanted to help.
"I understand you're frustrated with everything, but don't take it out on me!" you yelled back. "All I'm trying to do is help you. I'm not a fucking emotional punching bag for you to take your shit out on Christian!"
He slammed his hands on the table, the sound echoing throughout the entire house. It startled you. Christian wasn't one to express his anger through violence like this.
"Why do I even keep fucking trying with you?! All you do is nag and nag and nag! You keep 'trying to help' but you're not!" he screamed back. "All you do is get in my face of 'oh Christian do this,' 'oh Christian try and do that.' Get out of my face for once I'm fucking tired of it!"
You were stunned. Your heart with each word Christian spat out at you. You loved him, but you knew you didn't deserve what he'd been giving you for the past few months.
"Fine. I'll 'get out of your face,'" you said calmly.
"Actually you know what? I'll do it myself. Being in here suffocates me," he said venomously, grabbing his keys and storming out the house.
You moved into the bedroom the two of you shared. What once felt like home to you felt like a prison suffocating you the longer you stood in it. And you just fell to your knees and cried.
You couldn't pinpoint the exact moment where it all started going wrong. You and Christian weren't perfect of course, but you just worked. You understood each other like no one else. You'd experienced things together that you'd never had with other people. You hadn't grown up with Christian in the past, but that didn't matter. He was your present and was going to be your future.
But that was then. Somewhere along the way, things changed. Nowadays he barely made time for you. He was gone before you woke up and you were asleep before he came home. Date nights were nonexistent, special occasions stopped being special. You couldn't keep begging for his attention, wondering if this time would be enough to keep it.
You didn't want things to end. That was absolutely the last thing you wanted to do. You loved Christian with everything you had. But you were the only one trying and you both knew that. Somewhere Christian just fell out of love with you while you were desperately trying to grasp onto something. But it was no use. He was gone a long time ago.
Christian was in the middle of figuring out the trajectory of his career, unsure if he was to wait out his contract with Chelsea for the next season or leave for a club that truly appreciated him. And pretty soon, he would be flying back to the States for international break. The last thing you wanted to do was add onto the stress Christian was feeling.
But how long would you have to keep sacrificing your own happiness for the sake of his?
Christian didn't come home that night, nor the night after that, nor the night after that. Not that you really expected him to. He hadn't been home all that much anyway, and even while he was there physically, he wasn't there. So sleeping alone in your bed wasn't that much of a foreign feeling anymore anyway. And the longer he was away, the foggier your mind became. The answer was right there in front of you. This was Christian blatantly telling you how he felt about your relationship. Right?
It wasn't until about a week later that Christian had contacted you, letting you know he'd be coming back that night. You mentally prepared yourself for the worst.
The door opened, causing you to snap out of your thoughts. You could hear the clattering of the keys being placed on the table and footsteps heading up the stairs.
The lights flickered in your bedroom. Your eyes met his, startling him.
"Oh hey, I didn't realize you'd still be up," Christian said surprised, removing his jacket and placing it on a chair.
"We need to talk Christian," you said, trying to prevent your voice from wavering.
"We'll talk in the morning, Y/N. It's kind of late and I don't want another fight right now," he responded.
"I'm serious Christian," you answered, feeling your heart breaking already. "And I don't think this can wait until morning."
"Why do you keep using my full name?" Christian asked uncomfortably. "You only use it like this when something's really wrong."
You didn't answer. Instead you got up from your place on the bed and hugged his waist, completely breaking down. You felt like you couldn't breathe through all the tears and the pain you felt. Your body gave out as you fell to the ground, taking Christian with you.
For a second time that night, Christian was surprised. He immediately wrapped his arms around you, kissing your head.
"Hey, hey, baby what's wrong? What's going on?" he asked.
You couldn't get the words out. You only cried harder as he led you back to your bed. You took in this moment with him, not knowing if this was the last night you would sharing with him. You tried to memorize the scent of his favorite cologne, how perfectly you fit into his arms, the way his kisses felt. You wanted to remember how safe you felt with Christian and how your heart longed for him to come home to you.
"It's okay, baby, it's okay. I'm right here. I won't ever let anything hurt you," he said, trying to soothe you.
Little did he realize he was the reason you were hurting so much.
You held Christian close to you as the weight of your decision started to kick in. You wanted nothing more in this world than to be with Christian. He meant everything to you. You wanted it all with him. You wanted to marry him one day, carry his children, grow old together. You wanted to wear his last name to every game he played, to support him as he reached all his dreams. You could have nothing but Christian and you would be perfectly content.
Your mother had told you growing up that every scenario that came your way had three answers: yes, no, or wait. And you so desperately wanted to believe Christian was your sign that being patient was worth it. That waiting would be worth it. That one day it would bring you the happiness you craved and you deserved.
But how long were you supposed to wait? How long had you waited for him to fulfill his promises? How long had you been patient with him? How long had you stayed loyal every time he'd taken his anger out on you? How long had you been contemplating if you were worth saving? Was this just patience or were you holding onto something that you should've let go of a long time ago?
"I'm sorry for what I said earlier baby," he said, stroking your hair trying to soothe you. "I didn't mean it. I love you so much. I'm sorry. I'm so, so, so sorry."
You couldn't get words out. You needed just one last night to call yourself his before you could make your final decision.
"Just hold me please," you sobbed out, gripping his body as hard as you could.
"I'll do whatever you need baby. I'm right here. I'll always be right here."
Christian was scared. He didn't fully understand what was going on or why you were crying the way you were. But he knew something was off and something was wrong. So he just held you as you let out all the emotions you'd been feeling for weeks.
Christian knew it was more serious than he initially thought when you kept crying for over an hour. He didn't realize how absent he'd been from your life until then. How long had you been feeling such emotional turmoil? What else had he missed? Why were you crying this hard for so long?
Truthfully, he was afraid to find out. As shitty of a boyfriend he'd been over the past few weeks, Christian loved you with every fiber of his being. The last thing he wanted to do was lose you, the relationship you'd built up for years together.
But he knew the likelihood of a break up was probably looming in your mind. Was this it? Was this a sign that something was coming to an end? He didn't want to know. He knew you two needed to talk, especially after the way he walked out. But he was afraid of the outcome.
So he just held you close to him, praying this wouldn't be the last time he got to feel you like this. He took in your scent, trying to memorize the way you felt in his arms. He left kisses on your forehead, shoulders, and cheeks, wiping the tears away as he went.
You eventually calmed down, your grip on Christian never loosening.
"Christian I-" you gasped out.
"It's okay baby, take your time. You don't have to rush anything you don't want to," he whispered gently, kissing your forehead again.
"I'm sorry," you said quietly.
"Baby, you have nothing to be sorry about," he said. "If anything, I should be the one who's sorry. I've been such a horrible boyfriend. I shouldn't have said what I said, I shouldn't have done what I did."
"Christian…" you trailed.
"Shh, it's okay baby. It's okay. We don't have to talk about this right now. We can talk about this in the morning. Just let me hold you right now. Everything is going to be okay," he said softly.
"Chris I'm scared," you whispered.
His heart broke a little knowing you were scared of what morning would entail.
"I'm scared too baby. I'm so fucking scared," he admitted. "But we'll talk about this when it comes okay? Just be here with me now. Nothing else is going to hurt you tonight I promise."
The two of you were laying on your side facing each other. Your head was tucked into his chest, tears flowing every so often. Christian never once let go, not even when his arms started going numb. You were afraid to close your eyes, scared that Christian would be gone the moment you opened them.
Your body stopped shaking and you eventually stopped crying during the early morning hours. You were quiet. And if he didn't know you well, Christian would've believed you were asleep.
But he knew better. He knew that you couldn't sleep because neither could he. Just two souls barely hanging on by a thread not knowing how to fix it.
Did you want to fix things? Or were things so far gone there was nothing you could do anymore? Was this still worth it? Was a future still possible? Would love be enough to save this?
You were set on breaking up with him the night before. You were so sure that's what you wanted. But under the moonlight that peaked through your window, you didn't know what to do anymore. Your head was dizzy with thoughts and you couldn't think clearly anymore.
"Christian?" you called out quietly.
"Yeah?"
"What are we doing?"
His body tensed at the question. He was quiet at first, not wanting to say the wrong thing. He knew this was it. His answer would either make or break your relationship.
"I don't know baby," he answered honestly.
You nestled your head further into his chest.
"I don't want to keep doing this. Guessing if you still want us. You're either in or you're out Chris. I don't want to keep playing your games."
Christian had to stop himself from letting out a sob and took a deep breath. You didn't trust him or his words anymore. And realizing that absolutely broke his heart.
"Can you look at me Y/N?" he asked.
You hesitated for a moment before lifting your head. Christian cupped your cheek with his hand, gently rubbing his thumb back and forth. He rested his forehead on yours.
"You don't have to say anything okay? Just hear me out. I know I've been a shitty boyfriend. I know I haven't been there for you. I haven't treated you well. I've lashed out on you when you've done nothing but love and support me. Through all the shit the world's thrown at me this season, you've been everything I need and more. And I haven't appreciated that. And you deserve so much more than what I've been giving you."
Christian stopped for a moment, taking the opportunity to look at you. How could he have hurt you so bad? How could he let everything slip between his fingers?
"I'm sorry for everything I've put you through. I'm sorry that you've lost trust in my words. You always tell me that my words, my actions, and my intentions need to line up and they haven't been and I'm so sorry for that. I'm sorry I've broken so many promises. And most of all, I'm sorry that you're hurting and I'm the cause of it when I told you I'd never let anyone hurt you. I failed to see what was right in front of me and I've taken you for granted and I'm so sorry."
A tear fell from your eye, quickly caught by Christian's thumb.
"I don't deserve you. I really don't. You know that and I know that better than anyone."
He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead further into yours.
"But please don't give up on us. I know you can't trust my words right now, but I swear to you I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I can't let you go. Not now and not ever. No more games. No more confusion. No more trying to guess where my head and where my heart stand with you. Right here, right now, forever and always I'm with you. My head is with you. My heart is with you. All of me is with you. And I promise I'll prove it every day for as long as I live. So please. Give me one last chance to be with you."
You didn't know what to say. You didn't know what you wanted anymore. How could you trust him? He was saying all the right words, but did he really mean it? Were they more empty words?
Yes, no, or wait. Just like your mother said. But you'd waited so long that it seemed almost futile. Had you been wasting your time? Or was this what you were meant to do?
And though your head was fighting with itself, dizzy and numb from the constant questions running around, you knew where your heart lied. So you did the only thing you felt could portray how you felt enough to give him and answer.
You lifted your chin and kissed him deeply, wrapping your arms around his neck. His grip on your cheek was firm, bringing you as close as you could physically get. The tears wouldn't stop flowing from either of your faces, but none of that mattered. What mattered was here and now.
Yes, no, or wait. And you finally got your answer.
He kissed you like you were the oxygen he needed to breathe. And truthfully, he needed you to breathe.
You pulled back ever so slightly, just enough for you to be able to talk.
"You get one chance at this Chris. Only one," you said breathlessly. "Don't waste it."
His lips were back on yours in response, his teeth tugging on your bottom lip. You let out a soft moan as he pushed you onto your back, settling himself in between your legs. He pulled back keeping his forehead to yours breathing heavily.
"I love you Y/N. I love you so much you don't even know," he said. "I won't waste it. Not ever again."
You grabbed his shirt and pulled him back to your lips, needing to feel him closer. Your hands traveled underneath his shirt, nails scratching his skin lightly as they roamed his chest.
Christian pulled back from you for a moment to rip his shirt off before attaching his lips back to yours, giving you more access to him. You couldn't keep your hands off each other, your legs wrapping around his hips to bring you even closer to him.
"Chris," you whispered. "I need-"
"I know baby," he answered. "I know. Let me take care of you."
You whimpered beneath him as his lips moved to your neck, leaving a trail of marks as he gave you sloppy but gentle kisses. He bit down on the spot just below your ear, causing you to let out a loud moan.
"Does that feel good baby?" he whispered into your ear, sending shivers down your spine that resonated throughout your whole body.
"God yes Chris it feels so good please," you begged beneath him.
His hands grabbed the bottom of your shirt, bringing it over your head and pressing his chest against yours as he kissed your lips gently.
"So fucking beautiful. And all mine," he said to himself.
His lips returned to your neck, this time the trail leading to your breasts. You gasped as you felt his tongue along your nipple, pressing yourself further into his mouth. You only squirmed more as he moved to your other side, your fingers tangled in his hair tugging lightly. He kissed down your torso until he reached the band of your shorts.
"May I?" he asked softly.
You nodded your head frantically.
"Words baby." His fingers hooked into them, toying with the fabric. "You know the drill. I can't give you what you want unless you tell me."
"Yes please," you whined, wiggling your hips in the hopes of getting the clothing off you faster.
"Please what Y/N?"
"Please take them off Chris please. I wanna feel you on my pussy please, please, please."
"Good girl."
He slowly slid your shorts down, taking a little too long for your liking. He kissed down your stomach, loving how you were falling apart beneath him.
His fingers rubbed over the dark spot of your underwear. You gasped, hands grabbing the sheets tightly. He moved his fingers almost in a trance watching as the patch grew darker and larger.
"You're so fucking wet baby. You like it when I touch you like this?" he chuckled.
"Yes I love feeling you play with my pussy!" you moaned, grinding your hips against his fingers.
Christian pulled your underwear to the side. You shivered in anticipation as you felt Christian's breath on your lips.
"Can I taste you?" he asked, running his fingers through your folds.
"God yes! Please let me feel your tongue," you begged, lacing your fingers through his hair to bring him closer.
"As you wish princess."
Your back arched the moment his tongue made contact with you. He licked from the bottom all the way to your clit, lightly sucking on it. You moaned tugging at his curls. The louder you moaned, the faster he went alternating between licking and sucking. Your thighs closed around his head as you pushed him closer to you.
You were so lost in the pleasure that you were surprised when Christian inserted two of his fingers into your folds. You moaned even louder at the intrusion.
"God Christian more please. Please I need more!"
You were begging, but you didn't even know what you were begging for. You just wanted him to keep going.
Christian was enjoying every second of this. He loved watching you fall apart beneath him.
"You need more baby? So greedy. My tongue sucking on your clit and my fingers deep inside your pussy. What else could you want?" he teased, picking up the speed as he fucked you with his fingers.
You couldn't form any proper sentences anymore. Incoherent noises left your mouth as your body started shaking uncontrollably, eyes rolling to the back of your head.
"Damn baby you're shaking. Are you close already? I've barely even done anything," he mused, inserting a third finger and fucking you even faster.
"God I'm so fucking close please let me cum! Please please please I need to cum please Christian please!" you all but screamed.
"Shh, it's okay. You can cum baby. Let it go for me," he said softly.
Your vision went blank as you came, your hands grasping at Christian's curls to anchor you to reality. Your legs shook violently as Christian continued coaxing your climax out of you, only slowing down as your body started spasming with overstimulation.
"Christian I need more," you whined, gasping for air.
"I know baby, I know. I'll take good care of you," he said. "I'm right here okay?"
Christian kissed your lips gently, making your heart flutter. He softly caressed your face admiring how you glowed under the moonlight. You melted under his gaze holding him close to you.
"You okay?" he asked.
You nodded, giving him the go ahead. He moved back just enough to remove his bottoms before taking his place between your legs again. He placed both of his hands gently on your cheeks, resting his forehead against yours. He looked deep into your eyes as his thrusted his hips into yours. You gasped into his mouth as he picked up the speed, grinding slow but deep.
"I love you Christian," you moaned breathlessly.
"I love you Y/N," he responded. "I love you so much. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I'm sorry I made you feel otherwise. And I'll spend the rest of my life proving my worth to you."
The room was quiet except for the skin slapping against each other and the soft gasps you let out. You grabbed Christian's neck, bringing him as close as you possibly could. You needed him in every sense of the word, wanting to feel every inch of his skin on yours. He was yours and you were his. Your bodies intertwined in the same way your souls had all those years ago and that was all you really needed.
"Chris I need-" you were cut off with a particularly deep thrust making you moan, tugging at the curls on the nape of Christian's neck.
"I'm close too baby. Cum with me. Become one with me Y/N."
You had one of the strongest orgasms you'd ever had in your life. Your chest pressed into his as his cum filled you up, clenching your pussy around him. You held each other tightly, afraid to lose one another as space came between you.
The both of you laid there for a moment, basking in the afterglow of being so intimate. You gasped into each others mouths as your heartrates began to slow down ever so slightly.
"God you're so beautiful. The most beautiful woman I've ever seen," Christian said in awe of you.
You flushed beneath him becoming shy.
"Babe you just came all over my dick. You really shouldn't be that shy," he said cheekily. You scoffed and hit his chest slightly.
"You're actually ridiculous," you said lovingly, pressing your lips to his for a quick kiss.
He pecked you once more before pulling out of you. He got up, grabbing a towel and gently cleaning your body. He left kisses as he went, worshipping your body. Once he was done, he laid on his back bringing your head onto his chest. He kissed the top of your head as you tucked yourself beneath his arm.
"Are we okay Christian?" you asked meekly.
"Yeah baby. We're okay. We're gonna be okay."
Taglist: @pulisicsgirl @chelseagirl98 @thoseboysinblue @neverinadream @lizzypotter14 @masonsrem @masonspulisic @notsoattractivearenti @lovelynikol16 @bracedes @mortirolo @nyctophilic0vitnir
#christian pulisic#christian pulisic angst#christian pulisic smut#christian pulisic x reader#christian pulisic imagine#christian pulisic fic#swimmingismywholelife
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TW BLOOD
(bit ltr on)
TW REFERENCED CHARACTER DEATH
@naffeclipse
Part 1 | Part 2 | This is Part 3 | Extra
Gonna add some after comic shenanigans because I have thought of a LOT
It'll be linked as Extra
likely will be comprised of memes with maybe some serious
Long post under the cut!
And rambling right after like. a lot. jkfdjklsd
It’S DONE
Well besides the extras and memes I’ll include in another part that. I don’t know when I’ll finish. But stay tuned I’m gonna go ham. I can't wait to share the memes especially loll
Fair warning my rambling here gets a little all over the place so if I repeat myself. Sorry lol.
If I knew how to include a second read more I would
anyway , I think I've made this comic lighter towards the end of this comic (both on purpose with the backgrounds and story lol) but this ending I hope is a combination of bittersweet and hopeful. Y/n gets to have a new family and connection to humanity that I think would be beneficial.
How they’d take finding out Y/n is a VAMPIRE is it’s own can of worms that you can decide for yourself how would go down. Best outcome is that Y/n continues to watch over the generations influenced by Vanessa and her family during their immortality.
Gregory and Cassie still haven’t been introduced in the Naff’s Cryptid Sightings universe by the time I post this, so if/when they are their characterization most likely will be different. And ggy likely won’t be placed in the au. Which is completely understandable! Tho an alternative path following canon fnaf more with 3 star fam, ggy n such is a concept I LOVE in the Cryptid Sightings world! I’ll go into it more ltr
Greg and Cass already have cryptid parents but now they get Uncle Eclipse and Uncle/Aunt/Pibling/Auncle/Etc Y/n. And Y/n gets to have one more purpose in protecting these ppl they will grow to care a lot about that knew Vanessa when Y/n couldn’t connect with her. Lots of sharing stories abt Vanessa occurs.
I’ll joke abt this in the extras & memes part but I think It would be so funny if Y/n can one moment be depressed and then Eclipse mentions Cass & Greg and they’re like “RIGHT I NEED TO PLAN HOW IM GONNA SPOIL THEM FOR THEIR BIRTHDAY” or “I LOST TO GREGORY LAST TIME IT WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN” or “I NEED TO CHECK UP ON THEM AND MAKE SURE THEY’RE ACTUALLY RESTING AFTER THEY FOUGHT THAT CRYPTID”
Eclipse is simultaneously grateful they have a new source of motivation, they haven’t seen you like this in a while, and he doesn’t dislike Gregory or Cassie. BUT since Cassie and Gregory are still Cryptid Hunters, it isn’t IDEAL lmao
On to elaborating on the comic: I love 3 star fam (by extension cassie) and Vanessa had growth offscreen so now her dying wish to y/n is like:
Nessie: hey. Make sure my kids (that aren't kids anymore) don't die ok cool cool
Sure Greg and Cass have Freddy and Roxy but between:
Demonic cryptids that have no experience being a human NOR a cryptid hunter human at that
Vs
Friend that might just be there still since if these cryptids could have humanity there's a chance my friend sending me memes that are so in character with their personality is ALSO still human despite being vampire and maybe ness & them could reconcile and Greg and Cass could finally meet the only person ness would have considered family and-
Nessie never would have considered y/n still having their humanity if it weren't for Freddy and by extension Roxy
And btw Ness would not have given her phone to y/n if she wasn't sure that y/n wouldn't hurt Greg and Cass.
She. Didn't expect y/n to go the extra mile and meet them in person. The phone would give y/n their contact information and all the photos of memories they missed out on
Y/n cries when they unlock ness's phone and Nessie still hadn't changed her password
The video she made that y/n sees at the end is when she was first entertaining the idea of y/n possibly still having their humanity, but still wasn’t sure. It was a video that she only ever planned on y/n seeing if she either died and/or she was sure y/n was still human in some regard. She wanted to leave y/n with something in that scenario.
Vanessa here meeting Vanessa in Cryptid Sightings and Lost episode canon would certainly be something. Vanessas from canon Cryptid Sightings would just. Not know how Vanessa got over it and neither does Ness here know
Also, there are some details for this canon divergence au that are completely settled to me and other details I don't have a solid idea for. Like, I'm not SET on how Nessie and Greg would meet, ness and Cass, if it would be at the same time, who would be doing the glitchtrapping. Prob becuz some of those are still unclear in canon canon FNAF and others I'm just indecisive
I'll leave it a little loose, up in the air
Also the possession being done by the same cryptid wouldn’t be possible with Cryptid sighting’s universe rules so. I’m not gonna bother figuring out those details for this comic.
But I do love the idea of Nessie growing closer to Greg and Cass and at least Ness and Greg sharing a bond over dealing with Glitchtrap
Speaking of glitchtrapped GGY in cryptid au-
The wizards FAVORITE now being in same universe as demonic cryptids that would absolutely want to slaughter Glitchtrap for possessing a KID? Making him kill multiple people, including a kid his age? Tasty. Scrumptious. I want to make a separate post just thinking Abt how canon crew for cryptid sightings might react to GGY, especially Cryptid Sun & Moon/Eclipse. I'll save most of that rambling for that potential post since there's so much angst potential.
While im here, I’ll ask. Naff, how would Eclipse react to a child, possessed by a demonic cryptid, having killed other children? Or. Is that a spoiler since these characters could be introduced in a reunion work and whether Cassie gets possessed to mirror canon fnaf is still up in the air? 👀
@/puhpandas can be blamed for my brain rot of the GGY story and dr rabbit stuffs and the potential it could bring.
Tho I don't expect to see GGY in any continuations of cryptid sightings lol I don't know how that would work when cryptid sightings already has laid down rules for possession in that universe and Glitchtrap is already gone. I'll happily see what Gregory and Freddy are like when they (hopefully) appear in future continuations of cryptid sightings
But since this is canon divergence I can indulge in three star fam real quick
To follow canon canon FNAF (or at least the fanon built off of the scrapped security breach canon as well as what stayed in sb), Vanessa would be saved by Gregory and Freddy, I'm undecided if Cassie would join in sooner or later. Nessie would regardless have to stomach being around kids that remind her of her trauma since she can't just fully IGNORE them. Gregory would have no one since I love the angst of the theory he killed his loving family as GGY
So. Nessie would probably know that and it would make the situation hard.
Vanessa would grow a bond with Gregory and Freddy at some point, Gregory has a head start due to. Y'know. Glitchtrap. Hard to not have some sort of connection to the kid that went through what you did too.
Anyway, Vanessa here would be saved by Gregory and Freddy to match up with canon. Or at least, the fanon I subscribe to for security breach since canon was lack luster and scrapped all the good ideas for Vanessa last minute.
Nessie and Gregory would have the shared experience of dealing with Glitchtrap trauma and Cassie gets roped, just like canon, with the whole Mimic situation. Then Nessie has two kids that she can't fully ignore but also can't stomach COMPLETELY being there for. Fun.
But since I adore 3 star fam too much, Vanessa is able to grow attached to Gregory like a big sister eventually (i adore big sis nessie dkljssfkld look at @/boringa55binch 's stuff you'll get ITTT)
When I'd imagine Cassie would be introduced, I bet Nessie would have a harder time with her around since what we've seen of Cassie in canon is only of her getting fooled. I bet Nessie would have a harder time around her for that reason.
But it's not like she COULD leave them completely alone since she's the one with the most cryptid hunting experience. And if these kids are SO INSISTENT about getting into trouble, fine. She owes them after all
I've been undecided if Cassie would be apart of the gang when Nessie is saved so that's up in the air for what ppls like most
Time skip is about 20-30 years ltr I've determined so, Ness did die when she was relatively young. (The circumstances of how she died are a plot device yes i will admit shush it isn’t terribly important sorry jklfdsjksfd)
I'm not the greatest at drawing aged characters so there you have it, Cassie and Gregory are in their late twenties early thirties.
Nessie knows it is a gamble to ask Y/n this favor. But, she's a worried big sis, being around Roxy and Freddy I bet would have softened her heart to the general idea of cryptids not being bad, and y/n doesn't seem to be bad atm. It could be a ghost that'll haunt watch over them, or Nessie's best friend can continue to be long distance buds with Nessie's new family.
And if Y/n was truly gone and all that remained was the vampire tendencies, by this point she has trust Gregory, Cassie, Freddy, and Roxy can keep each other safe. If it was truly a mistake to give y/n her trust.
So, that's why y/n hypes themself up and visits the graveyard when Gregory is there. And it did take a lot out of them but y'know I like the idea of y/n getting close with the gang.
It does make the next cryptid reunion a little weird.
Y/n & Eclipse: YOU DIDN'T MENTION VANESSA WAS A PART OF THE CREW NOW??
Freddy & Roxy: YOU NEVER TOLD US ABOUT VANESSA
Like, imagine both describing Vanessa in previous reunions, and NOW they're finding out it was the same person.
Vampire reveal set aside for later, this is y/n's newest reason to LIVE (mentioned earlier im gonna indulge on details down here)
They can't die yet! They still have memes to send to these kids! Jokes to tell! Series to make them binge with Y/n over a call! This is the gosh darn happiest Eclipse has seen them in decades!!
Flipping between seeing Gregory and Cassie as their nephew and niece and competing with Freddy and Roxy over the title of parent. Regardless of age. (they joke but Y/n never actually competes for the title, they are much too anxious of doing something wrong. Plus, Roxy and Freddy would be pretty tough to beat)
I also think it would be hilarious if Y/n sent out Eclipse with a chancla when Gregory does a Human Hero Complex goof up that painfully reminds y/n of their Human Hero Complex goof ups. He isn't allowed to make the same mistakes without consequence. And y/n WILL stay back in the bushes with goggles to SEE IT HAPPEN. Eclipse ain't worried abt y/n's mental state when they're too invested with their Nephew and Niece.
Gregory: We are adults.
Y/n: Yeah but you're also stupid humans who don't know when to quit.
Eclipse does get a chuckle they're now complaining so much abt human's having these stupid hero/martyr complexes when they were a human not so long ago themself lol
and
didn't mention before but
Y/n and Vanessa compared to Cassie and Gregory parallels that would could be explored.
ANYWAY (get an “anyway” tracker for this post 💀)
Cryptid Sightings doesn't have Cassie or Gregory in their cast of characters yet so (i think I mentioned this earlier but still), this could age. As of writing this, no reunion fic has been published. Might make a note of that if I release this after the fact. But still. Indulge with me in the hyjinks. I haven’t even begun on Freddy being a dad to y/n and possible Roxy dynamic with y/n lolll.
This au of an au of an au still has lots of angst to be explored like. Oh yeah, Gregory was controlled by Glitchtrap too and has a fuck ton of ptsd SINCE HE WAS TWELVE
Fun discussion for later at thanksgiving over zoom. One that Greg is just like: Can we get back to video games pls. now.
The bombshell that will be Y/n revealed to be a Vampire is still up in the air like I said earlier. But, y'know, it might go better this time.
Y/n hopes for that. Hopes. Funny, you haven't smiled this much in a while.
Vanessa's death hurts. Both of them were too young for their fates. It hurt especially when they were saying goodbye for the very last time. Nessie's death was coming and Y/n knew that, but at the same time. Y/n can focus on caring about people Nessie cared about. People Nessie trusted them to care for.
I like the idea of Y/n continuing to watch over and keep in contact with the people Nessie has impacted in some way. Nessie to Gregory and Cassie to whoever they inspire and have become their successors. And they got so much more they are looking forward to now. Knowing humans and sticking around them even digitally has its risks but I think it could be pretty grounding. They have even more dates to look forward to aside from halloween. Which, will be fun to celebrate with Gregory and Cassie fam.
They can't wait to do some more living.
#*ends with direct thingie from lost episode* oh yeah Im so smurt#Last Goodbye and First Hello comic#I have to go write an essay now#yes those are scars on cassie she did not get away from the cryptid mimic unscathed#3 star fam#<- mostly HINTED at/referenced#my art#MDN art tag#cryptid sightings#cryptid sightings fanart#vampire!y/n#the lost episode#cryptid sightings the lost episode#glamrock freddy#fnaf vanessa#vanessa a.#fnaf vanessa a.#fnaf cassie#dcamv#daycare attendant multiverse#gregory fnaf#fnaf gregory#gregory fazbear#cryptid hunter!y/n#cryptid hunter y/n#tw blood#blood#cw blood#cw character death#character death
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‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪MY MAIN REALITIES ִֶָ☾.
— ALT REALITY .ᐟ
i haven’t decided if i’ll be permashifting or respawning here yet. i won’t delve too much into this one as it’s just this reality with some tweaks. tbh, i have no problem with this reality other than my boyfriends mental health, the political climate, and just how shitty society is as whole.
my boyfriend definitely makes this reality so much better and i’m the happiest i’ve ever been/best mentally. but he does struggle with severe depression so idk. i won’t get into my personal fears. we both are gonna shift so he can be happier <3
the extra tweaks are just i added my dr friend group that’s in every reality, better financially, better political world, & i get to learn how to tattoo i live in a very small town & there’s nowhere for me to apprentice so yeah. that’s the jist for this reality. still haven’t decided if i’ll be permashifting or completely respawning there so <3 yep.
— AOT ALT REALITY .ᐟ
okay! so this one is just i am learning how to tattoo ( yes again ) except I moved to Oregon dream location to be Levi Ackerman’s apprentice. Oh, and for sure date Jean Kirstein. My usual friend group is scripted per usual & i added two of my shifting friends from this reality. My friend Hady has her own little coffee shop that I help out at. there’s also a mix of singing & content creation stuff in this as well minus the big crazy fame because i don’t wanna be recognized all the time. nothing too crazy in this one, pretty similar to my ALT REALITY…
— FANTASY REALITY .ᐟ
okay so this will literally be getting its own post because it’s so extensive. i usually refer to it as my VALERIAN REALITY as the place i live in is called Valeria yes i stole that from game of thrones, its a pretty name okay and i basically made it my OP/main character reality. to sum things up, i am the secret heir to the throne of Valeria, but i dont know it. i didnt script much to this, i want to be surprised on how i find out and all that. AOT is obvi scripted in, Paradis Island is where they live. uhhh I just didn’t script in the dumb dumb no brain titans that eat people and like- they know about other countries. the rumbling also never happens. the Marleyan Empire does exist but yeah no rumbling.
i didn’t script much for the lore of this but just based off like dr memories, readings, and dreams… Eldia and Valeria have this weird/cool connection that could bring on the “golden age of peace” so yes. once i become Queen i will ally with Eldia and after a good enemies to lovers with Jean, he will be King of Valeria. there’s a lot of memories and stories from this dr that i will make a whole separate post on <3 i am definitely like crazy connected to this dr already and so excited to shift here.
happy shifting <3
#permashifting#reality introduction#shifting introduction#reality shifting#shiftblr#shifting diary#shifting methods#shifting realities#shifting stories#desired reality#4d reality#reality shifter#shifting community#shiftingrealities#shifting blog#shiftinconsciousness#shifting consciousness#shifting#shifting antis dni#shifting motivation#shifters#shifting script#attack on titan shifting#aot dr#aot shifting
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Skywalkers apart au! It's so precious that Anakin gets to be a dad, a rebellion general Dad but he gets to be there for at least one of them and Padme survives and gets to be a mom and maybe someday they get to meet and it's so good.
Also the concept of General Skywalker of the Rebellion feels like it has so much potential cause he was such a big figure in the Clone Wars, he was the Hero, the General, he could probably get the various splinter rebel cells (they were very divided in the early Rebellion) to follow him by sheer reputation and charisma. Imagine Anakin being at Hoth, like the attack is going along the usual Imperial imminent victory and suddenly an AT-AT has been thrown clear across the landscape and an announcement sounds out "General Skywalker has entered the field" cue Rebel Counterattack due to morale boost and Imperial Panic.
What happened to the 501st here? Did he go to the Venator's crash site where Ahsoka was during Order 66 what did he think when he saw all the dead folks?
Fun thought, Starkiller being the apprentice in this AU, means that Sidious has probably been comparing him to Anakin (in part because he's bitter he didn't fall, in other part cause it's great for fueling the darkside) for years so the first time they face off he's gonna be full of spiteful hatred (all going according to plan) before Starkiller gets styled on by the Skywalker, cause Anakin isn't crippled by the suit and that means he's still massively powerful in the force and skilled in the blade (Vader was too, but less than a whole Anakin), I could see Anakin pulling a Lightside version of the Rogue One Hallway scene against Stormtroopers (or even inquisitors).
Rebel General Anakin Skywalker would be an Imperial Boogeyman.
Leia would probably appreciate it for a while but also she'd get a bit annoyed about her dad's reputation and "Legend" and the fact that she's probably got that entire thing to measure up to, making her more reckless or foolhardy. That's a big shadow to live under.
Padme on the other hand is probably in a very different situation reputation wise, she was the senator for the new Emperor's home planet, she's the old queen of naboo from the Trade Federation attack, she's a founding member of one of the oldest discrete rebellion cells but that still leaves some stigma. She's probably so very worried about Imperial surveilance on her or Luke or the rest of her family, and it doesn't help that the Inquistorious has probably been sniffing around for a while.
ok this is a veeeeery long ask so i'm gonna have a veeeery long answer which is gonna go under this readmore:
YES!! yes absolutely! tbh i decided a while back he never gets an official promotion to general, everyone just calls him General Skywalker for so long that it sticks loll. BUT YEAH I mean working with a Jedi is rare and awe-inspiring enough for any rebellion cell but working with the hero with no fear??? half the rebels are wondering if they can interrupt this mission to ask for his autograph
its extra funny bc for the first few years of the empire he's lowkey depressed and like agh i failed the order republic AND my family i'm a terrible horrible no good jedi who nearly turned to the dark side and while he's having this spiral there's some rebel standing next to him pointing and pogging
and yeah he's SO useful in big battles like that!! he's half a legend, half a ghost story, given most ppl think he died in the Purge but here he is, enacting justice on the empire!! tho he does struggle on quieter missions (which happen a lot more at first bc gotta hide from the empire) that you cant just blaze into. its a difficult shift to go from clone wars general skywalker to rebel general skywalker
yeah 501st same as canon ): but OHHH MY GOD yes thats SUCH A PERFECT IDEA, Anakin going with Rex and Ahsoka to the site and mourning them all (and probably going into another depression spiral lbr)
youre so right lollll obvs leia loves the one up she has in an argument of "well my dad's general skywalker, beat that" but as u say she absolutely wants to live up to that (+ is a very independent/stubborn person and would like Leia Skywalker, not just "General Skywalker's daughter" lol)
AND YEAH ABSOLUTELY Padmé and Anakin's roles in this au are both so interesting (is that egotistical to say) bc they're these upside down versions of their clone wars roles, both very loud people forced to quieten down and be Discreet about how they go abt helping ppl. Padmé is really struggling hiding so much (luke's force sensitivity, her rebel activities, all relations to anakin) and trying to protect Luke while helping the Rebellion WHILE trying not to seem suspicious. a lot on her plate -- only made worse by palpatine keeping a close-ish eye on her, and she can't tell why (is it bc of luke? the rebellion? anakin? or is it just his old favouritism or patriotism being VERY inconvenient??)
on the inquisitors, obvs you don't see a lot of them on coruscant -- but padmé's SO scared abt ppl (MAINLY SIDIOUS WHO, YA KNOW, TRIED TO TURN LUKE'S DAD SITH) finding out abt him and she hates that she's making him repress this part of himself but what choice does she have???
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Another one of the someone reincarnated as Skull au
Except it's not just one individual it's the whole Black Bulls squad (and maybe even extra people)
Just imagine the Comedy™ of the Arco being Across and then we pull into Skull's head and start listening to every member of the bulls saying something at the same time with no one fronting .
Because yes they change who is on front a lot . Even if Asta , Finral , Vanessa , Charmy and Nacht front the most , and Zora if he is feeling vindictive .
And I can just imagen that every Arco has their favorite person for fronting :
Luce - Vanessa and Asta
Reborn - doesn't sticky have a favorite but prefers Asta and Noelle the most because of how he can teze them
Fon - Met Nacht once(while the bulls were new to the whole one body thing) and decided this is gonna be his personality from now on while everyone else is depressing because there is another one now
Viper - despite being amused and even somewhat friendly to Zora , Vanessa and Nacht actually has Charmy as their favorite . They are also the only one who knows and suspected that the Arco's Cloud is actually multiple people in one body (is not sure if it was a mist thing gone wrong , born with multiple souls or if Skull has multiple personalities)
Lal - can't decide between Luck and Magna (If Mereoleona is not here that is)
Collonelo - the favorite is Luck
Verde - Would be Zora if it wasn't for the facts a) Zora is fully on having a prank war with him and b) Verde is so prideful that he won't recognize Zora as someone of his level
Neither the Arco nor the mafia knew that Skull was actually multiple people until one fateful dinner bal in the Vongola mansion when the topic of cloud's being able to clone themselves came up . And immediately Skull asks very enthusiastically how to do it and gets shown how to do it .
At which point the black bulls (more specifically Gauche as he has experience in how to make clones) make a clone for each person of them and that is when shit hit the fan .
Finral and Vanessa immediately started raiding the cellar for wine .
Nacht started to insult everyone other than the children (aka Tsuna , Enma , Lambo , Ippin and Futa) left , right , up and down . In the background Fon is on the verge of tears because he recognized this smile that is his idol . While everyone else is deeply terrified .
Charmy is starting a raid on the kitchen .
Asta and Collonelo are having a full on screaming match while fighting . Bonus points if Yuno , Libei and Lal are looking at them cheering on
Zora continues being a menace to Verde .
Noelle raiding the nearest armory so she can kill Reborn for what he has said for her family .
Luck and Magna fighting and drawing people in the fight . Gray is trying to stop them while Gauche is cheering them on .
Nero is looking at this and recording it for later .
Gordon and Henry are babysitting Tsuna and the rest of the kids .
And at some point Yami (with a cigarette in his mouth as always) punches the nearest wall while telling them to shut up and to stop destroying things , only for the wall he punched to crumble . Of course that causes the true shinanagans to start .
While the Black Bulls are having their normal (for them) life everyone else is losing their mind because the Arcobaleno Cloud Skull just cloned himself and now there are like a dozen clones of him and all with their own personality and different flame at that . Serious what the fuck?!?
While all of this is going on Viper is having a poker face of innocence while giggling on the inside .
#black clover#khr#khr x black clover#asta black clover#gray black clover#noelle black clover#the black bulls#yami sukehiro#sawada tsunayoshi#vongola#katekyo hitman reborn#arcobaleno#skull de mort au#skull de mort#khr skull#verde#lal mirch#clolonelo khr#crack#comedy
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