#i was going to post this earlier but wifi sucks sometimes

[compressedrage]

Call you tell your CG hc?

(I just love them so so much)

MY WIFI SUCKS RN OR I WOULD HAVE ANSWERED THIS EARLIER–

also are you that other anon? or did you see my hollowhead headcanons and decided to ask a similar question? it doesn't matter, here we go–

so I have a post with a bunch of random AvAM headcanons, and that includes CG headcanons, so this post will be similar to the hollowhead one in that it's more about their relationships with one another and such :)

or not, who knows where my brain will go with this

I don't exactly know how to put this, but they are family. Siblings, best friends, they are each others everything. They love each other so much and would die for each other without hesitation. They may refer to the others as their friends, but it goes deeper than that.

Orange refers to RYGB as his friends most of the time, but they all know that he considers them his siblings. They've lived together long enough, enough can go unsaid and still be understood.

RYGB are all the same age, but also the age order goes Green Yellow Blue Red. And then Orange. (Sometimes Yellow and Blue swap in my head but this is the most common interpretation for me)

Orange is the youngest, but he is also the Holder of the Braincell 50% of the time. The other 50% is when the braincell ping-pongs between the others.

They have separation anxiety from all the times they've been split up and hurt. They always make sure to have at least one buddy with them when they leave the PC, and even if they are on the PC it is rare to find them alone.

They low-key have telepathy; they can look at each other and know what the other is thinking/planning. This helps greatly in battle when rapid decision making is crucial. Not only that, but they fight in sync easily. They've been sparring with each other for years, of course they know how they will fight.

They all love and appreciate the others' hobbies and talents, and will often participate. For example, Green and Blue might stop in during Orange's drawing session with Alan and pick up some art tips. Blue grows plants for Red's animals, and helps take care of them. Green lets Yellow rant about code to him until he realizes what went wrong and then helps him fix it.

Like all siblings they have disagreements. they bicker. But they figure it out because you don't want to live in a PC with someone you're fighting with. Most of their arguments get worked out through talking, or (mostly) fighting it out literally. Because what else are you going to do on a Tuesday afternoon.

They've been through so much together, they understand when one of them wakes up screaming or zones out for a bit. They get it.

[mochenle]

Hidden Gems | Renjun

genre: angst; apocalypse au

word count: 3,894

~

the old floorboards creaked under your feet. every step you took was a call and response, the rickety wood screeching like that of a cry for help. step. creak. step. creak. a continuous cycle of sounds and actions that once was neglected, but was now all you could hear. the redundant creaks and thuds were sonorous, booming, ringing in your ears. that was all that was in your mind at the moment. the only thing that could distract you. any current thoughts, feelings, anything, blocked off by a step, a thud, and a creak.

he always knew how to calm you down when you were like this. pacing what was left of this living room like a madman, hands clammy and trembling, eyes frantically zipping to everything in your field of vision. even in situations like these, he remained calm and kept his composure. his serenity was contagious, slowing your breaths, and calming your nerves. as soon as his soothing voice made its way to your ears, you felt so safe and secure no matter where you were. he managed to bring peace to your world, no matter how much it’s been damaged at the moment. how you wish he was here.

him being Renjun of course. Huang Renjun. he sure was something. you always thought of him as a hidden gem since the very first time you met. you were actually in quite a similar state as you were at the moment during your first encounter with him. and of course, under all the wreckage, you found Renjun. you would never be able to express the gratitude you felt toward him.

~~~

the first time you met was at an abandoned convenience store about seven months ago, though, almost all business places were deserted by now. you were unaware of the undead presence behind you until its reflection was visible in the glass door of the fridge that sheltered a variety of long expired foods. clearly panicked at the unwelcomed company, you grab hold of the revolver hooked to your belt. you were about to pull the trigger, but it was closer than you thought. its grubby, rotted hands had made their way to grip your shoulders, causing you to drop your weapon and extend your arms to prevent the creature from getting any closer. it’s soulless eyes were boring into you and it’s decayed teeth snapped and chattered in your direction in attempts to finally catch a meal after lord knows how long. the miasma of decayed and torn flesh was even more putrid at this distance.

those things were pretty weak in general, but when they were hungry and there were enough of them, they never hesitated to put up a fight. it took all your might to slam its skull into the refrigerator door, ultimately resulting in a mess of broken glass and a heap of rotting flesh and blood scattered on the floor and wall. your breaths were shaky and hands were trembling as you slowly reached for the gun you had previously dropped beside the now motionless carcass. you’ve seen it happen before, people have done it thousands of times, but doing it yourself always left an uneasy feeling at the pit of your stomach. those things were once human. they were once like you. once like the curious stranger who was watching you from behind the aisle to your right.

you had just about regained your composure, when a certain someone made you lose it all over again in just a matter of seconds. you whipped your head towards the sound of a can of soup coming in contact with the cold tiles of the floor. as soon as you saw a glimpse of his shadow, you were beyond terrified. tightly shutting your eyes, you blindly fired shots until you ran out of ammo. the resounding gunshots that echoed throughout the area were replaced with empty clicks of the trigger. then, you heard a voice. a human voice. his voice. that was something you hadn’t heard in a long time.

“hey, hey! stop! i’m not one of them, please stop shooting. you might attract more of them like that!”

though the weapon in your hand was no longer a threat to anyone, your sweaty palms kept their grip on it and continued to point it up in front of you, hopefully aiming at something. you were quivering and panting, clearly not succeeding in intimidating anyone. still, the stranger kept his distance. your ears perked up at the voice, slowly opening one eye and seeing his figure standing in front of you. you finally faced him, but you still kept the gun pointed at the defenseless boy.

finally getting a good look at the boy, you saw that he wore a frightened expression and his hands remained frozen in the air, evidently shocked he was still alive after your sudden outburst. his clothes were tattered, shoes that had to be taped to keep the soles from falling apart, but whose weren’t at this point? though his face was slightly scuffed you saw his soft features perfectly, round, brown eyes, dry, pale lips, and a narrow nose that fit perfectly with the rest of his visage. quite the beauty to be seen amidst all of the dread, but you knew better than to trust him.

“it was kinda dumb of you to waste all that ammo. you know that won’t be able to hurt me without any bullets right?”

hearing this, you immediately pulled the switchblade out from it’s spot tucked securely in your left combat boot. although he was correct, your mind remained in a panicked state, so the thought of protecting yourself was all that ran through your mind. still, it did take a while to find more ammo for that gun.

“i guess you can hurt me without bullets.” “don’t come any closer! i won’t h-hesitate to use this.”

that was a lie. it was blatantly obvious. you weren’t bullshitting anyone. and even though he could see right through your bluff, he continued his attempts to calm you.

“okay, please keep your voice down though. if not, you might end up coming across another one of those.”

he gestured to the now fully deceased stranger that laid dormant on the floor of the abandoned store. you did not want to be near another one of those things. just thinking of that made your breathing even more rugged than it already was.

“you saw that? how long have you been here? w-why were you just standing there?” “i’m sorry i didn’t help you, but i thought you were going to hurt me. you could’ve killed me just now, but i can help you now okay?” “i-i don’t… i d-don’t trust y-you…” “hey, it’s okay, calm down. just breathe okay? you’ll be fine just listen to my voice. my name’s Renjun. you wanna tell me your name?”

it took you a minute to steady your breathing and keep your knees from wobbling, but you eventually gained self-control. Renjun was surprisingly patient with you, still keeping his distance and hands up in defense, but shuffling closer to you every now and then.

“y-y/n. y/n’s my name.” “alright y/n, nice name. now do you mind putting down that knife? slowly please?”

it was obvious that you still didn’t trust him, but nonetheless, you complied to his request and slowly retracted the weapon. however, when you heard several low moans and growls outside the building, you quickly flicked the blade back out. your eyes widened and you took a few steps back when Renjun strided towards you, hands gripping your arms, face just inches apart from yours.

“they heard us, we have to go. we can go through the back door so grab what you need and let’s get out.”

eyes still wide, your gaze flickered from his face to the oncoming sounds of the herd at the front of the store. your parents never told you what to do in this type of situation, but then again, who would’ve seen this coming?

“i get it, you don’t completely trust me right now. we just met, but if you stay here you’ll be one of them. i want to help you, but you have to let me. i know what i’m doing, i promise. do you trust me?”

your eyes were trailing all over his face at this point, scanning to see even the slightest sign of bluffing. you were definitely conflicted, he was a stranger after all, but this was a life or death situation, and the look on his face was the most sincere expression you’ve seen.

“y/n please, we don’t have much time. will you come with me or not?” “...” “y/n!” “...o-okay.”

and with that he quickly grabbed a bag and hastily filled it with various toiletries, gadgets, and snacks that seemed needed from the store. as soon as he heard the window shatter at the front of the store, he immediately grabbed your wrist and sprinted to the back door avoiding the oncoming herd.

from there, the two of you had stuck together for the rest of your journeys. you’ve learned a lot about each other during the time you spent and the many miles you’ve trekked. after the world was left in shambles and the walking corpses infested every square inch of land, the two of you learned that you’ve have had the same experiences of loss. families, friends, loved ones, all taken away by the plague that crawled around every corner. it hurt both of you to know that among the crowds of those pests, there were people you once knew, but were not the same anymore.

after many, many, close encounters, you came upon this deserted neighborhood and were lucky to find an empty house. it was the most home any of you have seen in a while. comfort grew between the both of you in your new home and have stayed there ever since. what was left of the world now made it difficult to stay at one place for an extended amount of time. either a not so friendly stranger finds the place and plunders it, or the walking corpses find a way through the thresholds, but the two of you have grown quite accustomed to the place and decided to make the most of your stay. even if it did take a while to find supplies to restock and keep away from trouble. this was a place to cherish.

~~~

there were memories attached to almost every corner of the house. in the pantry, you’d find the empty cereal boxes of your favorite cereal that you two would end up eating almost every meal of every day since it was the easiest food to find, but you didn’t mind living off of it. on the fridge, you’d find the tiny tops of cream soda bottles that you and Renjun glued magnets to for fun. if you guys were lucky, you’d find a few bottles of the carbonated drink and sit on the rooftop to watch the sunset if the streets were clear. slowly sipping and softly starting little conversations that had you relishing in each others presence at the moment. on the kitchen table, you’d see the soft red and white checkered tablecloth covered with a few stains of late night messes from very competitive games of go fish. in the closet you’d see the fluffy sweaters and blankets you two stored there for when it got too cold and the fireplace wasn’t enough to keep you warm, so you’d have to huddle together at one corner of the couch in a heap of linens. in the bedroom, you’d find the creaky mattress where you and Renjun laid, holding each other as close as possible and hiding under the sheets, when you couldn’t sleep because of the herd right outside the neighborhood. he would always trace tiny circles along your back and sing soft lullabies to get you to calm down. god, you really needed to hear that voice of his right now.

as your boots paced along the dingy hardwood floors, taking you to no particular location, you came to an abrupt halt when your footsteps came across an object. you looked up and the large, mahogany armoire came into your field of vision. like everything else in this house, it stuck little memories shared with Renjun in the back of your mind. the mirror attached to it had little polaroid pictures of the two of you taped to the corners. though they weren’t the best pictures you have taken, you loved them dearly. it was the last of the film you had, and they were the only photos you had of each other. there were lots of other little trinkets and gadgets that you two left for fun or decoration, and although you did cherish every single one of those items, your hand was already drifting over to the handle of one of the drawers.

gently sliding the drawer to your left, it revealed the precious contents it held. something that you would treasure forever.

though they were done on just a few pieces of scrap paper, you held them so dearly. you picked up the first paper you saw and studied every corner of it. it was the latest picture he drew for you. if there was one thing that soothed you  more than his voice, it was watching him draw.

this picture specifically was your favorite. it was a picture of the tree right in the center of the neighborhood. the same tree you two climbed as high as you could to get a view of the world around you. the view you rarely see, but when you do it’s ten times better than the rooftop. next to the image, he left a tiny footnote for you. you surely remember the day he drew it for you. it was just a few days ago, the freshest memory in mind.

~~~

you two were sitting at the kitchen table, Renjun working on his artwork while you observed from the seat next to him. though it was therapeutic to see the artist at work, curiosity burned within you. you’ve been meaning to ask him about this for a long time.

“why’d you help me that day at the convenience store?”

he stopped and put down the pencil. turning to face you, he looked at you with those soft, brown eyes and responded with utmost sincerity.

“we’ve both seen a lot. this whole world we live in now, we’ve seen it become how it is, we’ve seen it fall apart. the people we cared about, we saw them get taken away right in front of our very eyes. i just- i couldn’t see it happen to another person. not again.”

after hearing this, you became lost in thought. before you two met at that store, neither of you had seen actual living people in months. you suppose the loneliness had gotten to your brain when you agreed to stick together. that was probably the best agreement you’ve ever come upon. without it, without Renjun, you probably wouldn’t even be alive right now. to say you grateful for him was an understatement. you were indebted to him. you owed him you life.

he turned to face his drawing once again before speaking.

“besides, if you saw the way you looked that day, you’d see how much you needed me. if only you could see your face. you looked like you were about to shit your pants.” “shut up. i could’ve shot you, you know?”

you said as you punched him in the shoulder. you two sure knew how to test each other, but always ended up in a fit of giggles in the end.

“hey! no hitting! you’ll ruin the masterpiece.” “are you almost done? this one’s taking forever.” “just about, i just need to sign it. and…done!”

taking the piece of paper, you observed what he had in store this time. one thing you knew for certain about Renjun was that he never disappointed you with his art. or anything really. he always made sure to get down the best details, even down to the shading it was impressive. as your eyes scanned the rest of the piece, they trailed down to the bottom right corner where you found his signature.

“to y/n, a masterpiece for a true gem, from Renjun hulk”

you couldn’t help but let out a giggle. his handwriting wasn’t the best compared to his artistic ability. you both had established this. Renjun always called it shitty, but you found it quite cute and admirable.

“Renjun hulk? really?” “hey, you know me. i’m actually surprised you’re one of the people who can decipher my chicken scratch.”

it was one of the little stories he told you about. his little group of friends from school called him hulk all the time. apparently, he was quite aggressive, which you find understandable sometimes. the reason being his short temper. you were an eyewitness of the little mishaps that ticked him off enough to let a string of curses fall from his mouth. sure he had a temper and a foul mouth, but whenever he turned to you, he was a different person. soft and tender, a comfortable shoulder to lean on. a diamond in the rough, one might perceive, but a diamond nonetheless.

“okay, well what’s the gem part about? do you have a crush on me or something?” “no, shut up! i’m a linguist, i live for figurative language. i was just lucky to find you, you know?” “okay, whatever you say.”

the pink shade that crept its way to his cheeks were clearly visible, causing you to chuckle. he did have his moments with teasing you, but now it was your time to shine. at least by now, you finally realized he saw you the same way you saw him. a hidden gem. after a few moments of getting lost in thought, he managed to control the color of his face and spoke up again.

“so the picture, is it anything like the others? do you like it?” “i love it.”

and the smile on his face was enough to brighten the whole day. almost.

~~~

two tiny water droplets soaked through the paper. you peered through the mirror again wiping at the tears that trickled down your cheeks. you were a mess. eyes bloodshot and puffy from all the tears shed, hair disheveled with several loose strands strayed elsewhere from running your hands through your locks, nose and cheeks dusted pink from the sobs that emitted from you.

taking the tear-stained picture, you folded it neatly, and tucked it safely inside your pocket. your now empty hands reached for the handle of the drawer on your right and plucked the revolver from its rightful place. the same one from when you first met. the same one from that day.

suddenly, you felt claustrophobic being cooped up in that house. you felt the need to leave. seeing those pictures and the rest of the house you two called home, you knew what you had to do. there was only one thing left to do. you couldn’t just leave him out there. you had to go back.

you hooked the gun to the side of your belt once again and packed a bag and filled it with you don’t even know what. they must’ve been things you thought were important at the time, but you only had one thing on your mind.

moving unconsciously, your feet took your body elsewhere, almost like an instinct. your mind wasn’t telling you where to go, but your body thoughtlessly trudged along the cracks on the pavement, past all the other neighborhood houses and their once thriving lawns. you only had one destination in mind. you only had Renjun in mind.

he was pulling you to him. he pulled you around a few corners and across a few lawns. hell, he would’ve pulled you across the whole neighborhood if that’s what it took to find him, but you knew just the place. you just had to go wherever your feet took you.

and there it was. just like you remember it. just like the day you left it. the day everything left you. there was no avoiding it. not anymore.

just like everything at that house, you remember it. you remember it well. too well, actually. well enough that it kept you up more than you wanted it to. what could you do though? it was impossible to forget about it.

that day where you two were a little too careless when coming to that same special spot. that day where neither of you saw it coming. that day where you saw where its teeth punctured the skin in of his arm. the day its corpse hit the ground after your switchblade came in contact with its skull. the day he said he ‘didn’t have much time left’ and hooked himself to that damn tree. the day you barely made it out alive. the day he didn’t. the day he smiled at you for the last time and you took the gun from his hands. the day you couldn’t do it. the same damned day. where everything fell apart all over again.

~~~

“y/n. it’s okay. i promise. you do remember how to shoot right?”

everything was all too familiar. the feeling of tears streaming down your cheeks, the feeling of the gun in your hand, the feeling of losing another one. all too familiar.

“no i-i can’t do it.” “you have to. there isn’t much time, please… y/n…” “...” “...” “...Renjun…”

~~~

fuck. it hurt. it hurt like hell.

looking at him now, looking at what was left of him, left your heart aching, your eyes stinging, throat burning. seeing him like this was torture. the guilt was eating you alive. seeing those once gentle eyes now soulless, hearing that beautiful soothing voice turn into gruff growls and groans, witnessing all of the beauty that once was, now gone. that hurt like hell. your precious gem, gone. this wasn’t Renjun anymore.

“i’m the worst aren’t i? i should’ve never let this happen to you.  you don’t deserve this, you never did. this is all my fault.”

the world came tumbling down for you once again. you had lost everything you had. it was back to just you and the desolation of the world and was left of it. it was back to being wandering all alone again. it was back to just you. no more you and Renjun, and that left you feeling even less alive than the corpse before you.

hands drifting and picking up the revolver hooked to your belt, you point it up slowly. grip tightening around the weapon, you let out a few choked sobs before saying your last goodbye. no waterfall could compare to the amount of emotion pouring from you at the moment. every ounce of sorrow, guilt, and regret, welling up and seeping through your eyes. you were bawling and shaking, barely able to stand on your own two feet. this was like doing the impossible, but you knew you needed to move on. you had to. for Renjun.

“i’m so sorry.”

…

bang.

~

fin

[jimlingss]

The Deli Diaries [6]

Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 || Chapter 7 || Chapter 8 || Chapter 9 || Chapter 10 || Chapter 11 [Finale]

➜ Words: 1.8k

➜ Genres: Fluff & Cuteness, That good ol’ slow burn, Slice of Life

➜ Summary: Working at a grocery store deli is absolutely unbearable (and you’re also perfectly aware of how dramatic you are). But it seems like something, or rather, someone might make the job a bit more manageable.

➜ Warnings: Mundane-ness that might make you bored to death

➜ Notes: i swear the story is moving...just...very slowly.

Your job sucks.   But it’s starting to suck less, especially when the microwave reads 2:00pm.   Right on the mark, you come strolling to the other side of the deli where your kind manager is putting away some of the orders that arrived a few minutes ago. “Hey, Serri. Is it okay if I go on my lunch break now?”   The old lady frowns in concern. “You haven’t eaten lunch yet? Yes, yes! Go right ahead.”   “I’ll be back in half-an-hour then, in time to package the chicken.” You’re ripping off your gloves and she nods, urging you to not worry about it and to go eat and refuel yourself. On the way to grabbing your bag, you wash your hands and rip off your hairnet, adjusting your black cap in the tiny mirror above the sink, trying your best to clean yourself up.   You nabbed a hat from your insane supervisor, having requested she order one for a few weeks now. The constant reminders annoyed her but it’s the only reason you have it now. For one, it’s completely free so why not. And secondly, you could hide your greasy hair and actually tame it from the long day of work. Plus, in this way, you can look less horrible for a certain someone.   “Hey, produce boy.” You run into that certain someone on the way to the staff room and he has his own bag slung on his shoulder. His brunette hair is ruffled, red apron clean, black shirt and pants appearing like it’s been ironed.   “Hey, deli girl.” Jimin smiles, still amused with the little nickname you gave him.   “Are you going for lunch?” You push the backdoor open for him and he says ‘thank you’ as he enters.   Mischief twinkles in his eye and he downcasts his head trying to hide the way the corners of his lips are upright. But Jimin can’t help himself and he steals another glimpse of you. “I am.”   “What a coincidence.”   Or more like the two of you have been syncing up your breaks every other day now.   The job was actually pretty nice now that you had a friend to share your meals with. It’s not like you could hang out with Yuna in the breakroom considering only one person at a time was allowed to leave the deli area. Plus, you found Jimin’s company surprisingly nicer than your phone or any youtube video you could scrape up using the shitty wifi connection.   “What are the odds?” He laughs and then opens the door to the room for you. This time, you’re the one saying ‘thank you’ as you enter and he follows behind.   “I know, right?” You giggle and then move to pop open the microwave, throwing the stolen chicken-pot pie into it and hitting a minute to heat it up. In the meanwhile, Jimin pulls out two chairs and begins setting up, putting a few napkins down on the table not to make a mess and taking out his sandwich that he always cuts into two nowadays.   Luckily, there’s no one else in the staff room, only one person who exits the washroom and beelines out, down the stairs, returning back to their job before time runs out.   As the microwave whirrs, you move towards the wall of postings, scanning each of them and looking for your center’s number. “Are you thinking of switching?” Jimin asks in curiosity, moving to stand beside you. “Bakery? Or are you gonna transfer to another store?”   “Psh.” You move away when you can’t find anything of interest. “Why would I leave this store when it’s literally a ten minute walk from my house? If I had to take the bus, I swear I’d be late and fired on the first day.”   He laughs and the microwave dings, causing you to open it and grab two plastic spoons from the dispenser. “Plus, I don’t think bakery is hiring for another two years,” you mumble as an afterthought. “Unless someone dies, they’re not gonna train anyone here. Those ladies have been working there for a loooooong time.”   “I guess you and deli are gonna be together till death do you part,” he teases while taking a seat and you take yours adjacent to him. You grumble at the thought of the deli being in your foreseeing future and he smiles, cracking open his water bottle to take a sip.   “Oh. I actually have something.” Your eyes light up when you remember and you dig into your bag, pulling out a ziplock. “It’s honey ham.”   “Again?” Jimin laughs, grabbing a piece to eat. “I thought you hated hams.”   “Yeah...but I cut too much for a customer earlier, so I took it with me.”   “Aren’t you going to get fired?” He questions while you pick up the half of his sandwich and take a huge bite of it. In turn, he grabs the spoon and begins to eat the chicken pot pie that you took.   “Maybe.” You shrug, not really caring if you get fired. At the moment, you’re more preoccupied with enjoying this food, unable to stop taking massive bites of Jimin’s sandwich. “Y’know, I’m not a big fan of sandwiches but this is pretty good. Did you make it yourself?”   “Yeah.” Jimin smiles, a bit bashful over the compliment. “It’s not that hard. I just have to toast the bread for a minute and spread a teaspoon of butter. I also spread some mayo on the other slice and I cut a tomato, put in a bit of baloney and sometimes egg. There’s some cheese and lettuce, pickles too….”   He admits, he might’ve upped his sandwich game ever since you started sharing a half with him.   “God, that’s already ten steps too much for me.” You steal another bite, appreciating the flavour more and more. “But how do you get it so it isn’t melted and squished in your bag.”   “Oh, I put it in the produce cooler when I get here.”   “Dude…..you’re awesome.” You flash a huge thumbs up, wholly impressed with how seriously he takes your lunches together. “I like how you think ahead. Meanwhile, I’ve had the same pot pie for four days now. I’m so sick of it.”   Jimin takes another scoop of the pie. “Why do you keep getting it then?”   “Well, you like it, don’t you?”   You say it nonchalantly but it hits Jimin and he tries to repress a smile, though failing to do so. “It’s not bad, but I’m really fine with anything.”   “You’re too nice, produce boy.”   He really doubts that, especially when he’s sitting next to you. But he doesn’t say anything about it. “How was work so far? Any cute kids? Any rude customers?” He takes another bite and swallows it down. “Any grease you want me to help pour out?”   You grin. “None yet….of any of that. But you might need to help me pour out some grease later. I call holding the door.”   “Deal.”   Really, it’s a deal that sucks on his end. Yet, Jimin insists he can pour the whole bucket of the icky liquid into the dumpster every time your shifts overlap. You don’t understand why he offers so much help to you.   Maybe he’s just an extremely nice guy.   “How about you?” You motion your head over to him. “Any people asking you grocery questions?”   “Yes.” He giggles and you can’t help but smile. “Many. At this point, I think I’m better at navigating the grocery section than some of the grocery people. Did you know rice pudding is next to the butter section? Who knew.”   You laugh with him, amused with all the times people ask him where things are and he has to navigate them through the grocery aisles that he doesn’t even know himself. Earlier you caught a senior citizen grasping at his arm instead of her walker, trying to find some almond powder. He flashed you one look and that’s all it took for you to start giggling while the customer in front of you thought you were absolutely insane.   “What time are you off?” You ask, dusting your hands off after finishing the sandwich and some of the pot pie.   “Six. You?”   “Six too. We can walk home together,” you note while standing, heading over to the fridge and freezer to take a peek. “Hey, want some ice cream?”   “What?” He looks at your mischievous expression when you turn around. “Sure. But does that belong to anyone?”   “No name.” You smirk to yourself, glancing at the front of the open box where there’s an absence of black marker labelling ‘do not eat’. “No name means a free for all. What flavour?”   “Any.”   You grab two at random, shutting the freezer door before tossing it to him. Jimin catches it one hand like a pro, putting on a smug expression when it was really due to luck and reflexes. You plop down in your seat again, peeling the wrapper open and discarding it.   Jimin watches as you eat and he backs up. “Wait. Hold on. You bite your ice-cream?”   “And you don’t?” You twist up your face as if you’re offended that he does something different.   “No, you monster.” His tongue pokes out, rubbing all over his cold treat which makes you scrunch your nose up in distaste. “It hurts my teeth too much.”   “It’s gross to lick it.”   “It’s weird to bite it,” the produce boy counters and you scoff. “What flavour do you have?”   “Vanilla. You?”   “Chocolate.” Jimin’s brow eyes light up in curiosity and his pupils flicker over to the treat in your hand. You can read him like an open book, already knowing what he wants before he asks. “Can I try?”

“Don’t lick it,” you respond immediately like it’s a reflex. But instead of placating you, the boy grins, his eyes crinkling into half moons, plump lips spreading into his chubby cheeks. He takes your hand, curling his fingers over yours and he pulls it closer to him, moving your entire body towards his direction. “Don’t! Jimin! Actually!”   But like the little shit that he is, his tongue rakes up the entire side of your ice-cream. He licks it with a laugh and pulls away. “It’s good.”   You narrow your eyes at him before leaning over faster than he can react. You bite the top half of his ice-cream off completely, and he cries out as fifty percent of his treat is devoured. You laugh evilly before screaming. Your brain freezes, aching painfully and it makes him hysterical.   Jimin folds in half, wheezing, as he watches you clutch your head in your other palm, gasping for air and yelling about how cold it is. Still, it was worth getting your revenge.

[yoosungs-blush]

Update!

Hello~~

It’s been a while since I last posted anything and for that I apologise! I hope this first month of 2019 has been treating you well ^^

I’m hoping to get something up before the end of the month though, so be on the lookout,

I just wanted to post something because today (29/01) is the one year anniversary of when I officially joined the RFA!

I thought it was the 30th but nope it was today? This time last year I got an android emulator running on my Mac and finally decided I wasn’t gonna wait to buy a phone to live out my dream of playing Mystic Messenger haha

Which by the way, playing on a very much non-portable computer, is not something I would recommend. It’s just as well I literally never leave the house for anything except for 2 hours when I volunteer because even when I was inside I was glued to my computer, constantly checking for new chat rooms. Ohmygosh the FEAR of missing a chat room when I didn’t have the advantage of a portable phone with data when WiFi was unavailable actually took over my life for the month and half that I played before I got a phone with the right specs.

I remember there was this time where I’d preplanned the next 11 days while on my first route for Zen, and on the Friday I was supposed to leave at 2:30, and walk down to the library for my volunteer shift for an hour. Of course there was a chat room at 3:00 or something, and then another just after 4 which marked the beginning and end of my volunteer hour so unless I found a way to haul this big heavy computer down to the library I was gonna miss my first chat room WHICH WAS AN ABSOLUTE NO. Preserve the hourglasses at all times!!!

So INSTEAD I went down to the library an hour earlier, and I was so tense and worried that I’d missed something in my planning that I practically ran home afterwards. At least I didn’t miss a chat room that time haha

The early morning chats were the ones that sucked to do on a computer though. You know how you kinda just sit in bed half asleep and try to get the 4am chats to go as fast as possible because you’re actually about to die from sleepiness? Before I adapted to this new early morning life, I found it super hard to stay up past 2am which meant I basically just struggled to stay away for 2 hours of torture

Sometimes, I would doze off though and I’d wake up in a panic thinking I’d missed the chat, only to realize I still had an hour to go 😔 So I’d stake out at my desk, do the chat room, set my alarm to half an hour before the first chat room of the next morning which is when they’re like 6am ones, and until I got a phone I trained myself to jump out of bed immediately when my alarm went off and rush to my computer. Since actually starting the emulator up took a long time on my computer, I always had to take that into account when I was planning out my day. I was obsessed basically, but the routes made everything worth it.

Then I got a phone and that thing might as well have been an angel because then I WAS SAVED. Although, I did miss a lot more chat rooms once I realised I didn’t have to jump out of bed every morning - lolol my alarm that I’d been using was the startup music to the game, and it felt like a fire alarm. It would go off and I’d jump up like ALERT ALERT YOU ARE NEEDED BY THE ANIME BOYS THIS IS NOT A DRILL GET THE CHATROOM OR BE CRUSHED BY REGRET AND DEBTS FROM BUYING HOURGLASSES TO RECOVER

It was traumatic haha

But yeahhh, that was my beginning to this wonderful fandom and how I was lead to creating this blog ^^ To the person reading this, what day did you join the RFA?

I’ll post new Yoosung content in the next day or two, but until then bye~~~!

[glittergradient]

I just got reminded of the fact that the only time dan sees his his family (aside from his grandma) is Christmas and he only spends a few days there. And then I remembered why, the stuff he explained in like 2010 and now I’m sad :( I have a terrible relationship with my parents but I’m lucky that my extended family is great. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for Dan, only having his grandma on his side.

I’m sorry about your parents, that sucks :(

but don’t be sad about dan! you know, I really don’t think he has a bad relationship with his family. just the fact that he’s been mentioning his mum more lately and that he posted screenshots of their text conversations tells me that he regularly keeps in touch at least with her. And we don’t really know how often he sees them, definitely not as often as phil does, but there might be times that we don’t know about. remember that liveshow earlier this year when he said he’d borrowed phil’s coat to go see him mum who was in london? we didn’t know about that. or when he went to a barbecue that his family had organized (right before going to wimbledon)? remember how his entire family was at tatinof in 2015? and you know how dan has said multiple times that ever since he moved out he started to appreciate his family a lot more?

I mean, maybe dan isn’t as close to his family as phil is, but I don’t think he doesn’t get along with them or that they aren’t there for him. a lot of people go through phases with their families that aren’t the best, especially when they’re in their late teens or just becoming young adults and they’re in that period of their lives where they want to be indipendent, but at the same time they find it hard to detach entirely from their parents. I don’t doubt that dan felt frustration and anger toward his parents at some point (but honestly who doesn’t?), maybe especially around the time when he dropped out of uni and wasn’t sure of his decision and was scared of his future and needed all the support he could get and his parents didn’t quite deliver in that sense. but it’s been years since then and dan is now a rich, successful, grown man who has built a life for himself and who seems to be confident in the career path he’s chosen. his parents have probably come around and he has probably got over whatever negative feelings he harbored towards them.

having said that, the reason he doesn’t spend more than a few days with them at christmas is probably due to 1) bad wifi at his parents’ house (how would dan live without a functioning internet connection lol) 2) just the desire to have space for himself and play videogames and binge watch tv shows all day (dan seems to be like that in general, not only with his parents. he tends to isolate himself a bit and the only person who seems to be allowed within his safety bubble is phil) 3) families can be a lot, no matter how much you love them and they love you. it can easily get exhausting having to deal with them, especially at a time like christmas, when there are more people around, more family members gathered together, not only the inner circle, but other relatives you might barely even know 4) the fact that maybe he just doesn’t love going back to his hometown and see familiar faces from his past (not his family specifically, but other acquaintances)

tldr: we don’t know much about dan’s family because he’s a lot more private about them than phil is, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t close to them. I personally think he has a good relationship with them, one that probably improved significantly when he got over his own insicurities and got to a place in his life where he felt mostly settled and secure.

I’m sorry, I wrote an essay. I just have a lot of thoughts about this lol. just remember that things are rarely black or white, especially when it comes to a complex matter such as family, and sometimes the shades in between make all the difference.

[idkguessiwillbloghere]

Blog Post #8

Feeling: Depressed Weather: Cloudy Last thing I ate: Spinach Last thing I drank: Emergen-C Chatted with a friend today. I feel like the deepest way I know to connect is with depressing shit, like bringing up traumas or dark subjects. I think I’m just not used to connecting in a healthy way, conversation-wise. I know you’re supposed to ask people about their days, or their pets, or hobbies, or whatever the fuck, but I think my friends are also the same way, so those conversations never really take off. But when I talk depressing shit, it’s of course depressing, so that doesn’t work either. One friend, who has oppositional-defiance disorder and is a pathological liar, insisted that he doesn’t mind me venting to him whenever, and that he likes talking about whatever I bring up. I’m gonna stop listening to him insisting on that, ‘cause every time I’ve done that lately, he distances himself from me more. We used to be a lot closer. Chatting with a dude on Tinder. It’s the longest I’ve ever chatted with anyone on Tinder; a few days. Haven’t told him I’m trans yet, though. Gonna bring it up the next time he mentions sexuality. I’m sure he’ll high-tail it out just like everyone else, but the conversation for now is nice. Though I just missed some of his texts for 15 minutes because my WiFi sucks ass sometimes, now my anxiety is acting up about whether he’ll take it personally or not. I probably ought to’ve just not mentioned that my WiFi sucks, it sounds like I’m trying to make shit up to excuse something worse. Who knows, I guess. My therapist says I overthink a lot. Thank my traumas for it, heh. Besides, I still don’t know if I’m even interested in this guy, but I know that any real interest I take in anyone develops over years, so I just gotta stick with it until I know. I want to put my snails into my big tank. They’re in a small one now, with a small fish, but I don’t think they’re super happy or healthy in there. I think it’d be good for them to crawl around more space. I keep forgetting though, and then I wash my hands with soap and that fucks things up for the rest of the day (I refuse to touch them with chemicals on my hands, I don’t care how well I wash afterward; I just wait at least a day for it to naturally sweat/wear off and then wash them again). I hope they’ll be cleaner in there too. I hope my algae eaters will clean their shells and otherwise be nice to ‘em. I’m depressed about my relationships with people, again. I’m not comfortable with where I’m at with anyone. Thinking about some people who no longer talk to me and hang around my abusers so much gives me a ton of anxiety. I’m so close to deleting everyone like that. I’m trying to weigh the costs and benefits though, ‘cause they’re regarded as some of the sweetest people you could ever meet, so if I delete ‘em, my abusers will just use that against me. I’m just trying to figure out if I give enough of a shit about that or not. Maybe I should ask my therapist about that, but we plan to start going into my traumas in the next few weeks, so I don’t know if I’ll even have time. Maybe I should make time, ‘cause its a prevailing issue that could be resolved sooner. Hopefully I’ll remember to at least mention it this week. I’m also not comfortable going to my friends as a support system, anymore. The reason being all that negative conversation I mentioned earlier. Me seeking support just feels like piling on. I know that “in the right relationships, people will support you when you need it,” but also people can only take so much negativity, especially from someone who’s so traumatized that it’s constant. I’m sure they feel like I’m not progressing anywhere, even though I’ve made huge strides. And that brings up another problem that’s been bothering me, which is my therapist keeps mentioning that maybe I shouldn’t seek intimate relationships on Tinder and the likes until I get my shit together (he said it more professionally, of course), but I feel like that carries over to all relationships in general. But my problem is that without practice, I won’t get better. But I don’t know how good of an idea it is to “practice” on people like that. Idk it all bothers me. I’m still slowly sinking back into how I used to be though; being solitary and unsharing. I’m sure it’ll all come out in a big way in therapy, but it just doesn’t feel worth it to confide in my friends anymore.

[buzzfeedwheeze]

The New Teacher - Shyan fanfic

Ugh

Sorry it took me so long to post the new chapter. I didn't know what to do with the fic (I blame the new Star Wars movie and the WiFi at my beach house), but I think I found my way again!

Hope you enjoy.

You can find it at AO3

Two months passed really fast and Shane got into a new routine. One that he actually enjoyed. Apart from having to give his son up two weeks a month, he was actually quite content. He would wake up earlier than what he used to, just so that he could have breakfast with his kid, generally milk and cereal because it was the fastest option and they were both lazy suckers. Then Shane would drop Andrew at school, go to work, banter with Ryan Bergara on Twitter and sometimes prepare a nice meal for Andrew and his boyfriend Steven. Yeah, somehow the new teacher became a part of his life, whether it was a conscious or unconscious decision of his. Usually at the lunch break he would find himself engaging of multiple discussions with Bergara about aliens, ghosts, movies and one time they even had a passionate debate about popcorn.

After one week of smiling like a teen after he received a new notification of @ryansbergara, he was forced to admit that there was more than simply bantering going on. Their fights didn’t feel real, or maybe they never were. When he took Andrew to school or went to pick him up he would wait to see Bergara arrive and then would tease him on twitter about how he looked ridiculous with his weird love for yellow clothes, especially one vest that he wore a lot. Ryan would always reply with a “stalker :)” and Shane would grin from ear to ear.

Now, he found it kind of hard to look at the man, that being the reason why he adopted the method of avoiding at all costs to get out the car near school grounds. Andrew reacted to this novelty with curiosity at first but now all he did was smirk when he got to the car, always making sure to mention the damn teacher. But although he wanted to avoid Bergara he couldn’t help but show up at the exact time he knew the teacher was about to arrive at school. He didn’t want to confront his feelings, but hey, he could still appreciate a nice body, with a great face, fantastic humor, amazing knowledge, sweet eyes... Ryan Bergara was the closest thing, for Shane, to proof of the existence of supernatural beings. Of course, he had flaws, Shane knew there was no such thing as perfection, but that man was pretty damn close to it.

But today was saturday.

Meaning no Bergara and no need to confront what was going on between them. The only thing planned for the day was a draft of a new cartoon he had to present for his superior on Monday and a dinner at the new restaurant that opened near his apartment. He was going to take Andrew and Steven and they were going to order enough food to make themselves ashamed on the next day.

A great plan. He had a cocky smile in place as he skimmed through the newspaper.

“Why are you smiling like that?” he looked up to find a very sleepy Andrew exiting his room. “It’s kinda creepy since you’re reading the Sports” the boy then rubbed his eyes.

Shane rolled his eyes. “Keep that attitude young boy and you won’t be having any pancakes today”

Andrew frowned. “You wouldn’t dare…” then his dad wiggled one eyebrow. “YOU WOULD! YOU SICK BASTARD!” Such a drama queen… I taught him so well. Shane smiled fondly as his son threw his hands in the air as he grunted on his way to the kitchen.

Shane got up quickly and took over his position on the stove. Andrew had already set up the table and was now resting his face on his hands as he watched his dad. Shane prepared the dough and after a few minutes, full of flips and a lot of cursing, the pancakes were ready.  Before placing them on the table he turned to Andrew.“Want me to cut them on Disney characters shapes?”

“What is the point of eating pancakes if they are not Disney themed pancakes?” he raised an eyebrow.

Shane had to blink a few times because he wasn’t seeing big grown up Andrew, there, right in front of him, was little Andrew with chubby cheeks and small hands. He quickly turned and focused on the task of cutting the pancakes into various shapes to make Andrew’s new favorite character from ‘Disney’. The sound of nervous fingers tapping on a screen and the rhythmically sound of the knife hitting the board helped Shane concentrate and suppress the treacherous tears. It was hard to get around the idea of Andrew no longer being his little boy. I’m becoming one of those dads.

Soon he placed an almost perfect, considering that it was made with pancake, BB-8 right in front of his son. Andrew gasped and stared at the plate he like used to do when he was a kid. “I was going to do a Kylo Ren. But since you are probably going to post it on Instagram, and I know you are not ready to share your obsession with Kylo, I thought it was better to play it safe. A good ol’ bot for ya.”

Andrew reached over the table and hugged his dad. “You are the best”. He snapped a photo and munched on his BB unit quite happily. Shane just ate his regular stacked pancakes but his heart was so warn that he felt like they were made of pure gold.

They ate in silence and after breakfast Andrew washed the dishes and left to meet Steven and head out to Matt’s place. Some other friends were going to be there as well, their friend Adam, Ashley and a girl called Jen. Apparently they were going to have a Harry Potter marathon and survive out of popcorn the whole day. They were living the dream. Shane tried to tag along and Andrew said that even though he was cool there was no chance he was going since he had a project to begin. Boo hoo adult life sucks.

Shane got all his stuff and found a comfortable spot on their dining table. Put on his ‘Thinking Cap ON” playlist and started to take notes of some ideas he had on the past few days. But as he jotted them down he felt like they weren’t exactly very creative or even original. No one would ever bother to invest on a cartoon like that. So he decided to start by designing the main character. It wasn’t how he normally worked but he had a deadline and he needed to present something to his boss. Anything. He opened his memos and found some notes from the briefing he had had last week about the new cartoon. The notes were kind of confusing but at least he managed to get some of the things his boss wanted.

“Supernatural. Two main characters. Diversity. Funny. Not too scary. A bit of sarcasm.” Shane wanted to throw his phone on the street so a car could smash it. “I’m so fucked right now.”

The hours flew by like minutes and he only had the sketches of the main characters done. He opted for two girls. One was blond with a big nose and thick glasses. He decided that she was going to be a bucket full of sarcasm and bad jokes. The other one was smaller, a mix of Asia and Latin America on her features. He didn’t know what to do with her. He stared at the page in front of him and tried to see what was behind those big beady eyes he drew. Maybe she was going to be more like a sidekick, always scared and hiding. Shane was about to to write that, but something stopped him. That wasn’t right. There was more to those characters and without a plot he couldn’t fully comprehend them. Especially the tiny girl. Shane shut the sketch book and decided to prepare his lunch.

After having lunch, Shane did no progress at all. All he had was two sketched and barely filled profile about the characters. He had longed abandoned the notion of having a plot or even having ideas for one. So until Andrew and Steven called for him to go pick them up, all he did was complain, play Disney Crossy Road and watch old episodes of Brooklyn Nine Nine on TV. Their call would be a true blessing. He would finally be free of his responsibility and be able to go out and enjoy his weekend. Or at least his saturday night since he needed the damn project ready.

Then as if by magic his phone screen lit up. Shane turned his attention from the TV to the now vibrating phone. It wasn’t a phone call but a series of text messages from Andrew asking his dad if it was ok to pick them up an hour earlier and that he didn’t want to disturb him now that he was focused on a new project. Shane replied quickly with ‘im already on the car’ and a ‘FREEDOM’ followed by a series of gifs to illustrate his state of mind. He got up, collected the car keys and soon he was driving on his way to Matt’s house.

The traffic wasn’t that bad so he managed to arrive in less than 15 minutes at the fancy neighborhood that Andrew’s friend lived. The house was at the end of Capt. Hugo Vega Street, it was a huge modern mansion that even had some bushes cut in the shape of animals. There was a fucking crab and a flamingo, for fucks sake. Shane pulled over in front of the house and was about to honk when he saw that Andrew was waiting outside. He waved at him and watched as he began to tow Steven by his hand. Andrew sat by his side while Steven took the backseat. Shane watched through the mirror Steven laying down on the seat and chuckled. “So how wa...”

“Dad please drive!” Andrew interrupted him. “If we stay here longer I might have to go inside and kill Matt with my bare hands. Do you want me to go to jail?!” he looked exhausted.

“Let me guess.”

“You wouldn’t be able…”

“Matt’s idea of eating solemnly popcorn was a disaster and you had to deal with a very hungry Steven Lim complaining.” Andrew gasped and stared at him with wide eyes. “I had to travel with you two to a festival when you were little and I know some things don’t change.” with that he drove to the restaurant as fast as he was allowed to.

Steven practically ran inside the place when he smelled the aroma of hot meals being served. They checked their reservation and, thank god, got a great table. Soon a waiter with a fake smile kept on for pure obligation asked for their orders. Eyeing the kids barely keeping it together, staring at the basket of bread as if it was some sort of rare item, Shane picked up the menu and ordered an absurd amount of food. Lots of chicken wings dipped on spicy sauce, french fries with olive oil and herbs, one small pepperoni pizza, medium portion of quesadilla and a basket with a mix of different nacho flavors. It will do. When he finished listing almost all of the items on the menu one very scared, or maybe impressed, waiter left to go deliver his order to the kitchen.

“Food will get here soon, kids, don’t worry.” he looked at them reassuringly.

Steven looked up and his tired expression was replaced by a huge smile, which left Shane feeling pretty smug. He was capable of making those kids feel the joy of life again. Then he noticed Steven poking Andrew on the forehead, which only made the other one glare at him. But it was all he need, pointing at something behind them he whispered something for Andrew. Andrew perked up on his seat and managed a small smile when he saw whatever Steven asked him to look. Shane couldn’t hear what they were saying so he turned to look for whatever got them all so happy. You gotta be fucking kidding me.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me.” Ryan Bergara was there at the hall gesticulating like a maniac while talking with the maître. Shane of course still felt the urge to fight Bergara, but watching the other man arguing with someone, that wasn’t him, made some weird protection instinct kick in. It was almost like it was his duty to protect Ryan Bergara from all evil in the world. I’m so pathetic.

Deciding to ignore the situation was the best option for him, so he turned to look at the boys and noticed that Andrew wasn’t at his place anymore. Steven just shrugged and nodded his head in the direction of the teacher. I raised a snake. Shane thought bitterly as he watched Andrew talking with his teacher at the hall. Bergara was blushing and Andrew looked at him with one of his, perfected through the years, puppy eyes look and Shane rolled his eyes. Surely he was inviting Bergara to sit with them. There was one spare chair and Shane considered throwing it across the room for a second or maybe throwing himself across the room. Lost on his thoughts and still watching the chair squinting his eyes, Shane didn’t notice when Andrew got back to the table with the teacher.

“Hi, Shane… I mean Mr. Madej.” Bergara was blushing and stuttering and all of his previous thoughts of destroying the chair vanished. Boy, he was a handsome man.

“Hi. You can call me Shane Madej.” Stupid mouth. “I mean, Shane. Call me Shane” Shane got up awkwardly, bumping on the table and almost knocking down everything. He shaked Bergara’s extended hand vigorously. Then Shane helped Ryan sit, which obviously made things worse. Internally he was a mess, an eternal replay on his mind of Gordon Ramsay calling him an idiot sandwich.

Steven and Andrew were sat on VIP places to watch the show unroll in front of them. They kept snickering and whispering thing to each other, which left Shane no option but to make small talk with Ryan Fucking Bergara as they waited for the food. When the meal arrived he kicked Andrew on his shins and got the boys to talk with the teacher, who seemed to relax and appreciate better his meal.

After they ordered the dessert and were waiting for it to arrive, Shane noticed Andrew leaning in on Steven’s direction to whisper something then he got up abruptly and announced he was going to the bathroom. But before he left he winked to his dad, and Shane knew this was no teenage hook-up-on-the-bathroom plan. No. It was a masterplan to leave him alone with Begara. And his suspicions were soon confirmed when Steven giving him an apologetic smile left to go to the bathroom too.

When they left Ryan began to laugh which caused Shane to look at him with an arched eyebrow. “What?” he managed between giggles. “It’s just that no matter how many years have passed teenagers will always try the bathroom excuse to go make out.”

“Yeah. The ol’ bathroom excuse to make out” he said through gritted teeth.

“They even try that at school!” Ryan wheezed. “I just look at them with one raised eyebrow and say ‘really? I’ll tell you kid, I invented this excuse. Go back to your work’.”

Shane’s annoyance left just as soon as it arrived. He looked at Ryan with glinting eyes and in a malicious tone asked. “You’re telling me, you skipped class to make out with girls in the bathroom, Bergara? The shame”

Ryan gulped and stared at Shane mortified. And stuttering a bit he managed to spit out the words. “I-I supp-suppose at the time they were girls.” he sipped his cranberry lemonade and eyeing Shane by the corner of his eye said in a much clearer voice. “You can call me Ryan, you know.”

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed. It’s rude.” Shane’s heart was beating so fast that he felt like it was going to escape his chest. “Considering that people always assume I’m heterosexual or just deny my bisexuality, I should’ve known better.” he didn’t want to look at the man sat by his side. He knew the look of disgust people generally had on their faces when he admitted his sexuality.

“Bisexual? That’s nice.” Ryan’s voice was so sweet that Shane had to look up. He was looking at him with those gleaming eyes and soft mouth curved into a beautiful smile. Shane smiled back.

“I guess it is.”

Ryan sipped his drink again. Coughed a few times then turned to Shane. “So, Andrew was telling me some other day after class, that you work at Disney?” then after stealing one of his fries added. “Your son really loves you, he’s always talking about you.”

“Yeah, I do. I work at the animations studio.” he was torn between hugging Andrew and cutting his allowance. He’s basically selling me to his teacher as if I’m a cow.

“That’s so cool! I love Disney!” he now was turning his whole body on Shane’s direction. “You see, I have this friend, Helen, and we go every year to Disney together. It was where our friendship sort of began.”

“That’s really sweet. I, too, love Disney. Otherwise I wouldn’t work for them.” he also tuned his body. Their legs were touching.

Ryan looked at their legs, coughed a bit and blushing continued to make small talk. “Yeah, you don’t strike me as the type of man who would work at a place you hated.” his eyes followed Shane’s movements as he sipped on his green tea. Ryan shook his head. “Hmm… Working on any new projects? The new Moana maybe?���

Shane didn’t listen the question since he was too focused on studying those full lips moving. Quickly, he reached for his tea. When he noticed Ryan waiting for something, he apologized and asked him to repeat the question. Questions about his new projects always got him excited. He would feel like a secret agent when he asked for secrecy and judging by Ryan’s expression, he was probably into it. Shane and Ryan leaned on the direction of each other, and Ryan’s legs were now between Shane’s. They were whispering but sometimes, one of them would laugh too loud (Ryan) and other would smile like a stupid RomCom guy (Shane).

The kids got back to the table at some point, but the two of them barely acknowledged them. Their desserts were left untouched in front of their places. Shane had to admit that maybe Ryan had some great ideas. Well, and some not so great. “What if they are like the ghostbusters?! But they hunt sea creatures instead of ghosts.”

“Are you insane?” The boys would chuckle and Shane would just keep shooting questions at Ryan.

“You said you wanted two girls, right? What about two girls that investigate allegedly haunted locations around the world. The skeptic one could be a ghost that came back to have some fun at the cost of the other girl. Always pulling pranks and ordering other spirits to scare the believer who is obsessed with finding proof of ghosts existence.”

“Ryan Bergara, you are basically telling me to make a genderbent version of yourself.” Shane chuckled.

“Shut up, Shane. There’s more” he rolled his eyes. “The skeptic girl liked to scare the other girl at the beginning. But then they started to go to more dangerous places and she began to protect her and grew fond of the tiny scared, yet brave sometimes, human. I’m not saying there needs to be a romantic relationship, since they are teens, but they can be really good friends.”

“I like this. A lot. Even the romantic part.” then smirking a bit he added. “Now it definitely doesn’t seem like you are trying to be the smaller girl.”

“Well, for me it does sound like genderbent fanfiction of you two” Steven mumbled to Andrew

“What did you say, Steven?” Shane nervously asked as he eyed Ryan. I guess he didn’t hear it. But he’s blushing a bit.

“Nothing.” Andrew replied while glaring daggers at his sleepy boyfriend. “He just ate too much cake.”

“I guess we should be going.” Shane said as he started to look for the waiter to ask for their check.

“Yeah, it’s probably better. I need to take the bus home. We need to see how much I…” Ryan began but was cut off by Shane.

“No need. This dinner is on me. Would like a ride home?” Bergara shook his head. “Then I guess you should be going.” Shane added a bit off.

Ryan got up and said his goodbyes. Shane watched him walking out of the restaurant and something ached on his chest. He left his credit card for Andrew. “Meet me outside kiddo”. Just after he got out of the restaurant there was no sign of the man nearby, then Shane saw a small bus stop in the distance and a small figure walking in the direction of it. Shane ran.

The bus stop was close when he felt a hand touching his shoulder which startled him “Fuck, sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” a familiar voice made him relax and Ryan turned to stare at its owner.

“Hi. Again.”

“Yeah, I could’ve asked you on twitter, but I guess my brain thought it was a better idea to ran after you in the dark.” Shane was rambling. “And you have no clue of what I’m talking about and…” a small hand slapped his arm and Shane looked at Ryan half surprised and half in pain. “What…”

“Just spit it out, Shane”

He looked at Ryan and gaining back his non-justified confidence ‘spat it out’. “I was wondering if you you would like to meet me tomorrow at a coffee shop. It’s a small place, very intimate. We talk about my new cartoon and maybe other stuff.” I can’t believe I’m asking my son’s teacher on a date.

“Like a date?” Ryan’s voice was hopeful.

“No” Yes. “I mean, maybe.”

Ryan smirked and added before making a signal for the bus approaching the stop. “Then DM me the details for our date of Schrodinger, Madej”

[mandimormon-blog]

Why You Should Stop Doing Laundry Today

Is it just me or do you see a title similar to this one everywhere? ‘Why You Should Stop Using Your (insert product here)”, “You’ll Never Want To Eat At (insert restaurant here) Again”, “After Reading This, You’ll Never Want To (insert activity here) Again.”.

We all know laundry totally sucks. It always sucks. I find laundry is one of my personal Top 16 Worst Household Chores ever list. I loathe laundry so much that I usually don’t even sort it. (Take that dark and light colors. I really showed you!)

The bending over is just like the icing on top of the cake of cruelty. Usually, I grab out it out of the water by large armfuls, as much as I can possibly get at once to reduce the number of times I’m bobbing and weaving from the washer to the front-load dryer. Apparently, I’ve got a rhythm and that’s when the danger set it. I feel like that’s a life lesson that applies to more than just laundry. Sometimes we get too comfortable and relaxed and that’s when we ruin it. We’re humbled. We’re knocked down and in this situation, it was the dryer. I had about my third armful of clothing and I noticed I probably had one more as I grabbed this armful out, like a boomerang, as I tossed it into the dryer. This time my left finger with my wedding band and engagement ring caught the top of the dryer on my execution, and I almost tore my finger off.

Of course, a painful stinging sensation sat in immediately and it felt equivalent to stubbing my toe, on a steel door, swinging toward me. Screaming at the top of my lungs, using a one hand toss to get the rest of the clothes thrown into the dryer with my right hand, and slamming the dryer door. Screw the lint trap, it’s not getting cleaned out, not this time. I started the clothes before whining around about it, because that’s what we moms do. You and I both know if I let those clothes sit they would’ve smelled awful and that would have meant more water-waste plus more dangerous household chores that I was not mentally prepared to do, whatsoever.

Per the normal “fear-inducing articles”, here’s the best advice you’ll hear all day. Friends, stop using your dryer now. Use a clothesline. Take our your wedding rings. Practice safety while accomplishing those household chores. Better safe than sorry. Share this message so your friends don’t make the same mistake I made.

We do addictions in our house. As I type, I glance to my left and see my son is hopping back and forth between two iPads, on the floor. One is near the footstool my feet are on, and the other against the wall on the charger. Both are actively playing a different show. Remi, is on a laptop, watching Trolls, and I am typing on my laptop, while simultaneously texting my husband, who seems to be a tad under the weather, laying in bed upstairs, in the same house. My oldest daughter is texting, cleaning her room, and has YouTube going on her Chromebook. This is the example of the perfect modern-day family.

Sure, we won’t have cable, satellite, or a television downstairs in our home, but we certainly use electronics. Just the other day while I was doing a little painting at the office, my son choose to watch Dish Network, while we were there. I asked him if he knew what “Team Titans Go” was and sure enough, he did.

Confused, he asked me, “What is this? An ad?” speaking about the commercial. My children don’t even know what a commercial is! But they’re fluent in YouTube Channels, Netflix, and fixing the WiFi. Things have taken a shift since my earlier years. Did I explain Jude’s fascination earlier this year over a vending machine?

Jude had never purchased anything from a vending or pop machine. We were waiting on the girls to finish up a practice for dance clinic and were rotating ourselves, back and forth, in the bar-seating in the high school cafeteria. He complained he was thirsty. So, I dug a dollar out of the bottom of my canvas tote, and handed it to him. He said, “What?”

I said, “Let’s get a drink.” I stood in front of the water and lemonade machine, reminiscing about Fruitopia, and asked him which flavor of water or lemonade he’d prefer. “What is this?”, he asked inquisitively. I covered my mouth with my hand, “Ohhhh, my goodness, Jude! You’ve never used a vending machine, have you?” Sure enough, never. He thought it was amazing how we could put money in and pick something by pressing a magic button and with a loud buzz and boom, it appeared, chilled, and ready to drink. He thought the Berry Lemonade was the best thing ever and he marveled over the vending machine mechanics.

This same “shock and awe” goes for the older generation, as well. We celebrated my dad’s birthday on Sunday, after he had a busy weekend full of auctions. My sister had the opportunity to attend his auction that morning, and from across the room, yet again, she was texting me a few photos to update his Facebook page with, which by the way, he can use Facebook very fluently. I made a few comments so naturally, he wanted to see the photos, I handed my iPhone over and as he scrolled through them, he went to the last photo I had sent my sister before those, which was me, wishing her a “Happy Birthday” through text using the Snap Chat giant-mouth-lips-eyes-filter+voice-changer. I just love how it conveys a completely mundane message with such pizazz! Of course, any message I’ve seen with this glorious filter I’ve laughed uncontrollably over.

My dad says when he gets to that on the text, “I see this lady all over Facebook!” Confused, I grabbed the phone from him, and laughed out loud for awhile. “Dad, that’s me. But that’s a SnapChat Filter.”, incredibly curious as to who on his Newsfeed is posting this. I love technology. I do.

Wouldn’t it be grand to have him auctioneer with that filter? I’m pretty sure it could go viral, without a doubt.

I also love 6th graders. Why you may ask? So, sure I elaborated on a kick-booty party based around Coachella about a month ago? Well, the girls were making a big deal out of the fact my sister is coming home this month, to live, and how she is “so cool”. I couldn’t wait to tell my sister about the adoration these kids had for her and because of that good attitude, I was blessed. They then added how most of the kids Reis’s age think I’m way young.

“Well, Girls, technically, I am young. I had Reis at age 19 which makes me one of the youngest Sixth Grade parents, for sure.”

Her friend blurted out, “No, no, no.. they think you're like 20.” 20, Tumblr. 20, Facebook. 20. Twenty Years Old. They may not be able to do Math or maybe it was an exaggeration but I will take it. Life is good.

I have to put a halt to the Electronicpalooza, here and now, wish me luck!

[dragonslaved]

Yet Another RTX Advice Post

Salt talked about a lot of great stuff for RTX in her post but let me bring up some other things here that aren’t as talked about!

1. Bring a backpack. I say this because even if your hotel is right across the street from the convention center, you’ll still not want to have to constantly go over to it to get things. I'd highly suggest bringing your water bottle (yes I'm another of those people reminding you), whatever medicine you need, portable battery, your chargers for whatever, something to do! With your hands! Because even though there's a lot of walking at conventions, there's also a lot of waiting! My bag last year had: water bottle, various painkillers (motrin, midol, ibuprofen, advil - all those in case people around me needed something and didn't want to lose their place in line), pads/tampons in case anyone needed one, snacks that you could easily eat with one hand, headphones, whatever I wanted signed, a couple permanent markers (you never know who you'll run into in the hallways! I ran into Shannon multiple times and he always stopped to say hi), as well as a notebook, my sketchbook and pencils, and my chromebook. 1.5. A note! I do always bring extra of everything, from painkillers to personal hygiene products, because while I may not need them, inevitably someone on the convention floor will! If you happen to be in a bind and you need something but don't want to lose your place in line or can't get back to your hotel and you see me walking around, please don't hesitate to ask! I keep all those things on me because it used to be that convention season would be the absolute guaranteed menstruation peak period for me. 2. A general head's up that yes, there IS free wifi in the convention center! It's not very strong, but it is there! 3. Salt talked about the RTX app and I cannot agree more. I only had issues setting up the notification for my panels and while I haven't looked into the new app, I'm hoping that's worked out. The important thing about the app though is if you're going to Austin for the first time, it is a must have. Here's why: it has a map of the downtown Austin area with locations of restaurants and stores you might need while you're there. It made a huge difference for me in spending $20+ on delivery to my hotel, or a 10 minute walk and spending $10 for food I really enjoyed more than chain restaurants. 4. I bring this up because the convention food last year was! Not great. I remember there being very mediocre pizza in the dealer's hall for $8-$10 a slice. Your local restaurants around downtown austin are your best bet. 5. I know RT made a big deal of it over the last year, but!! Lyft and Uber are officially back in Austin, so utilize them if you need to! 6. If you're out and about the convention area at night, please be aware that 6th street is VERY busy at night. They actually block off streets and it becomes a pedestrian only street at night. Think Bourbon Street in New Orleans (if... you're familiar with that). That's kind of what you're looking at with 6th street at night, just a bit more toned down from NOLA. 7. Back to the actual convention: listen. There are a lot of panels you'll be excited about and you'll want to line up early and get the best seat. But here's the deal. The staff will NOT allow you to mill and wander the area of the panel before line up starts. Line ups generally start 2 hours before the panel, and they WILL kick everyone out of the area about an hour before line up begins. So wander around earlier and get an idea of the layout then skedaddle. They try to make the panels run as smoothly and fairly to attendees as possible and this includes not letting people sit around and wait for lineups. 8. Which brings me to: please please listen to and respect the Guardians. They're volunteers that go through a pretty rigorous process of being selected to help staff RTX. Hear that? They are volunteers. They are not paid for this. They go to RTX and volunteer to work the majority of the time they're there. The rules they lay out and ask you to follow are for a reason, and it makes everyone's (not just theirs) lives so much better if you listen when they tell you something. I don't actually know what color shirts they have this year, but you'll recognize them when you see them!

General FAQ:

1. "Hey we're at a panel and there are a ton of empty seats in front of us! Why c an't we move up there?"

Those are actually for the VIP attendees, those overly expensive tickets that sold out very quickly. If the staff see that there aren't enough VIP attendees to justify keeping them empty, you may get lucky and they'll have everyone else move up a row or two (happened at a few of my panels!) Unfortunately, them's the breaks on those areas. They're usually taped off with bright colored electrical tape so you literally can't miss it.

2. "Should I bring a print out of my info for badge pickup/autograph signing?"

I'll be honest, I don't remember much about my badge pick up except waiting in line and talking about OVW with my Australian buddies (HI ENN I SEE YOU). HOWEVER, I'm fairly certain you don't have to have your info printed out because I don't remember having mine printed out. And I know for a fact you don't for autograph signings. For autograph signings! If you have a smartphone,

keep your autograph receipt, do not delete it.

 In that email is a pdf file. When you go to your autograph line up, the Guardians are going to ask to see it and they'll scan the code on it. It's a one time use code and it's how they keep a lot of shenanigans from happening, as well as give them an idea of where the most people are (e.g. if there are 200 people scanned for [celeb] but only 60 for [other celeb], they'll know for the future how to manage scheduling for them). Also since they've started getting more popular, they have started doing security checks before you even go into the room for your autograph signings (this includes a metal detector and having your bags checked). So a head's up on that.

3. "I get anxious and stressed a lot, what do I need to be aware of?"

Well, with any convention, there are a lot of people moving nonstop and it does get a bit loud. But! This was instated last year and I'm hoping they'll continue it: in multiple places in the convention center they set up a Quiet Room. It's a room with some blackout paper over the window, no sound allowed. If you feel overwhelmed, you can ask a convention staff about it and (if they do have it) should be able to direct you where to go. That said! There are still some less traffic areas around the hotels and convention center you can sit in. I have pretty gnarly social anxiety and I get overstimulated a lot so I'd end up sitting on the second floor hallways of the convention center a lot of times.

4. "I see [so and so] over there doing an impromptu signing! I'm gonna go get in line!"

Cool! This does happen fairly frequently with the RT staff and they try to be accommodating to their fans but please please be aware: each of the staff (particularly the big face personalities) have a guardian that's. Basically their handler. They make sure they get where the person needs to be on time and hopefully in one piece. And sometimes, even if they're doing an impromptu signing,  their guardian may stop you and say no there's no time. Just how it is sometimes. Please listen and respect that because they DO have a schedule to keep. The more popular the person, the less likely you are to run into them (but it /is/ possible).

5. "I brought a gift for [so and so]!"

That's so awesome and sweet and they'll love it. But because of time  constraints, last year they started requesting attendees bringing any gifts to the RT staff to bring them to a specific location in the convention center. They get sorted by who they're for and given to them privately. This is for time constraints as well as I assume safety. Please, please do not bring gifts to them to panels (taking up precious q&a time) or to signings (making other people wait and putting them off schedule potentially). It sucks but it is something they started doing last year.

[visthestone-blog]

Flying High Again Part 3: Flying 101 with T boogs.

    This part is for all you birds that are leaving the nest for the first time and all you  peeps that are freaked out like I am. Hopefully, this post helps you out and gets you stoked to travel somewhere new. Sorry it took me a while to get to this point, but yeah here goes nothing. 

    First of all, pack a few days ahead to make sure you don”t forget anything you need. Do not be like me and pack a few hours before you leave. I’ve forgotten my inhaler, deodorant, and as silly as it sounds, I’ve totally forgotten to pack any underwear. What should you pack? Well it depends on what you’re doing, where you are going, and how long you’re going to be. Be sensible when it comes to packing; don’t be a dummy and pack just pants and a hoodie if you’re going to Canada in October. Try your best not too over pack too; I’ve learned the hard way. Nothing is more annoying than walking to a train with an awkwardly huge suitcase, heavy backpack, a laptop bag pulling your hair, and a guitar case while you are fully layered up for the Russian winter. Also, it can get expensive if you pack more than you need. Certain airlines charge $25-$70 for a checked bag, unless you are flying Southwest. Do your research because every airline is different. 

     The day before you travel, you should check into your flight as early as you can. You want to make sure you have a decent seat on the plane. Southwest has open seating, so the earlier you get on the plane the better seat you can choose. I always try to go for the isle seat on or near the wing of the plane. I choose the isle because I’m a moderately tall human being and it’s nice to stretch out the legs during a four hour flight. Also, I don’t want to have to wake up the person next to me to go to the bathroom. I sit on or near the wing of the plane because it’s the most stable place to sit on the plane. The exit rows have even more space than a regular row of seats. After you check in to your flight and triple check to make sure you packed your underwear, you should brush your teeth and get ready for bed. Or if you’re like me and want to sleep on a plane but can’t (because of obvious reasons). You could stay up all night, watch movies, play video games, whatever you want. This is probably not the best thing to do to your body, but it works for me.

     When the day comes for you to venture to the airport and start flapping your wings, take a shower because you stink and no one wants to smell you for an entire flight. I’m kidding (ha ha), taking a warm shower will help make you relax. But it is considerate and makes everyone’s trip better if you don’t smell like ass. Some dude kept farting on the flight to Memphis and it made everyone miserable, so don’t be like that dude. After you take that shower and start to get ready to leave, keep in mind what you’ll be going through when you get to the airport. Let’s say it together! -Airport security! If you want to dress to impress that frisky TSA agent while they’re feeling you up to make sure you aren’t hiding any dangerous substances in your bum, go for it by all means. I just want to get through the line as fast as I can to get to my gate. I usually just throw on some comfortable pajama pants, shoes that are easy to get off and on, and sometimes a hoodie if its cold. I throw everything that isn’t a phone or a wallet in my backpack, it avoids all the mess when you have to empty out your pockets for security. Before you leave the house, make sure you have a nice empty water bottle and some tasty snacks because everything at the airport is overpriced and snacks are essential. If you are like me and you instantly get anxious when you wake up the day of the flight, take a Benadryl or your anxiety medication if your doctor prescribes you any. If it is anxiety medicine just take half of it so you can get to the gate. Once you get to the airport and that lovely TSA agent checks you out and asks what that portable Marshall amp is, immediately check the screen for departures to make sure your gate didn’t change without you knowing. It sucks when you get to your gate and the city is Dallas instead of Phoenix; Yes it’s happened to me but things happen.

    Now that you are at your gate, it’s time to cut loose and relax. What I like to do is read a book while listen to some good tunes. Something that also really helps me out before a flight is the checking out www.turbulenceforecast.com. It’s a site that shows real time pilot reports of bumpy rides. It lets me know what I should expect during flights and usually it’s pretty spot on. If you are at least twenty one years of age and you like to rage, you can head to the bar and have a drink. I’ve tested this out first hand, it doesn’t work for me as well. Before my second tour with Lody Kong, I got WASTED at the airport before the flight. I thought I was doing okay but I felt everyone’s eyes stare at me. I was dressed like a bum, stumbling off in a corner with sunglasses on and earbuds blasting deafening music. I ended up sober as the plane took off. These days I buy three or four small bottles of alcoholic beverages at a liquor store (usually assorted flavors of 99 brand vodka). It’s cheaper than drinking on a plane, and I like to share with the people next to me. I like to crack one open and dump half in a bottle of overpriced ginger ale and drink while I wait to board. So by the time I get settled in my seat, I feel pretty good. I keep my backpack with my laptop under the seat in front of me and my headphones in my pocket.

    The most important thing you can do is keep still and relax all of your muscles while you are taking off. If you tense up, you will have a bad time during the climb. I like to get to know the people sitting next to me and talk about stuff. Most of the time, they’re a really nice person with an interesting background. I’ve met a girl that was fluent in five different languages, a guy who makes rings out of old bullets that he’s shot while hunting, and I’ve even had an awkward conversation with a small elder Italian woman who spoke little to no English. As you reach your cruising altitude the nice flight attendants will offer you snacks and drinks. Take the snacks if you forgot to pack some, you’ll need to sober up a little when you land so you know where to go and what to do if you have a connecting flight etc etc. But when they offer drinks, don’t ask for a drink with caffeine in it. You want to be drowsy and sleepy during the entire flight, it will make the time cruise by and hopefully youll fall asleep. Cranberry juice mixes very well with 99 Apple Vodka and Ginger ale goes excellent with 99 Grape Vodka, by the way. Don’t forget to offer some to your neighbors before you crack one open for yourself, you don’t want to be rude. If you’re still stressing about the flight take the other half of your medication. I hope you packed a blanket and/or a travel pillow, because you will zonk out very quickly. 

     About an hour or two before the flight ends, I usually open up my computer and play video games for the remaining time. It makes the time pass so much faster and it also makes couch feel like first class. There’s nothing like playing Skyrim while sipping on Jack and coke thirty thousand feet above the rest of the world. If you are lucky enough to snag an Emergency exit row seat, you can play the entire flight because the exit rows almost always have an electric outlet. 

  Next thing you know, you’ll be landing in another place far from home. This part can be just as scary, maybe even more terrifying than taking off. Again, the best thing to do is keep still and relax. Read a book (Killing my Insomnia by my bandmate Igor Cavalera Available now on Amazon), fiddle with your phone, do anything to distract you from thinking any stupid thoughts that will freak yourself out. If you have T-Mobile, they give you a free hour of Wifi on any airline that uses Gogo inflight wifi. Pretty neat huh? If none of this is working just remember that we live in an age of incredible technological advances. Planes can land themselves now, not many people know but they do. There is an auto pilot like function that lands the plane safe and sound. Pilots still need to land planes manually every once and a while so they don’t forget how to. I actually learned that fact from the dude who makes bullet rings. I’ve had a few rough landings on flights but that’s always bound to happen. It’s just another pothole in the road.

   I hope you enjoyed reading these series of posts. I think it’s kind of silly that I’m trying to give people advice on flying, but whatever. I enjoyed writing these and I hope it helps anyone that has trouble flying. If you have any questions about anything, I’ll be happy to answer them. I don’t really know what I will write about next, but if you have any suggestions let me know. Sorry for my bad grammar and punctuation, if you see any mistakes in my posts. Thanks for reading and I hope you have a great day. :)

[bouncingtigger10]

New Post has been published on The Bouncing Tigger Reads

New Post has been published on http://www.tiggerreviews.com/aileen-erases-the-wall/

Aileen erases the wall

I’m never sure what to write for the “author’s choice” guest posts, so I reached out to my Superfans group and someone asked this question:

What do you do when you hit a “wall” to get your creativity going again?

I thought that could be helpful to any other writers out there. So, here goes:

For me, I’ve found that hitting a “wall” means that I’ve messed up somewhere in the story. It’s like my subconscious is stopping me from going any farther into the story. I have to go back, look at what I’ve done so far, and see what needs fixing.

It took me a looooong time to figure that out. I used to force myself to keep going, and my productivity would slowly get worse and worse and the wall would get thicker, taller, bigger, until I wanted to quit. But, that’s just me and my experience. I know right away what to do now. I take a break, re-read what I’ve written so far, talk to my developmental editor about how to fix whatever isn’t working, and then I get back to work.

But that won’t work for everyone, especially when you’re first starting to build your creative life.

Figuring out what’s building that wall up and why it’s there is the key to tearing it down. Sometimes it’s nothing to do with the story. Sometimes life is crazy. Sometimes there are just too many stresses, anxieties, and things happening to leave enough headspace to be creative.

The key there is to minimize everything that’s going on in your life—to quiet it—so that you can focus on being creative. And if you’re not under a deadline, maybe think about giving yourself a break to deal with all the things life has thrown at you, until you have that quiet space in your mind.

But life is always kind of chaotic. Things happen. It’s hard. This is your passion, and you don’t want to give it space or time. How do you keep writing through all the ups and downs of life?

You do what you can to quiet everything else when you’re writing. You set a goal for how long you’re going to write and where you will write it. Whether it’s taking a walk before you sit down to write or go to a spot in your house that relaxes you or another place outside your house that you find peaceful. Find a spot that you will consistently go to. It will key your brain into—this is time to write. Then, set a timer. Put away your phone. Turn off your WiFi. No distractions.

This is your writing place, and this is your sacred writing time. Set the timer for 15min. Don’t stop until it goes off.

Was it easy? Okay. Set it for longer. Was that painful? Okay, keep it at 15min every time until it becomes easy. Then, set it for longer. Aim to write at least a little bit every day. Even if it’s just setting your alarm fifteen minutes earlier so that you can get that little bit in before your family is awake or before work or before school. It doesn’t have to be hours at a time. If you write one page per day, in less than year, you’ll have finished a book. 250 words per page. For 300 days. That’s 75K or a full novel.

The thing to keep in mind is that creativity is a muscle. It gets stronger the more you use it. If you start out thinking that the words are supposed to be flowing out of you during your writing time, then you might be setting yourself up for failure. You can’t go from being a couch potato to running a marathon. So, why do you think that you can go from writing nothing, to spending four hours solid writing and get 100 pages written in one session.

That’s not a thing.

Writing takes time. It takes consistent, constant work. Letter by letter, word by word, sentence by sentence you will get there.

And if you sit down to write and hear a little voice in your head telling you that you can’t do it, that you suck, that this is a waste of your time, that you should give up now, or any variation of that, then you’ve met your Inner Editor. Every single writer has one, and all of them—all of them—are complete and utter assholes. Tell them to shut up. Ignore them. Keep going.

At first, finding that creativity to break through your “wall” can be really hard, sometimes seemingly impossible. You’ve got life in your way, distractions galore, and that jerk of an Inner Editor is back, taunting you again…

Writing is hard. Full stop. But the more you do it, the more you keep at it, the easier it gets. The more creative you get. The faster the words come. The better your writing becomes.

Until you reach a point when you find yourself in front of a wall, and it’s not tall, thick, impenetrable anymore. It’s a thin fog you can walk right through.

You can do it.

Just keep writing.

Author Bio

Aileen Erin is half-Irish, half-Mexican, and 100% nerd–from Star Wars (prequels don’t count) to Star Trek (TNG FTW), she reads Quenya and some Sindarin, and has a severe fascination with the supernatural. Aileen has a BS in Radio-TV-Film from the University of Texas at Austin, and an MFA in Writing Popular Fiction from Seton Hill University. She lives with her husband in Los Angeles, and spends her days doing her favorite things: reading books, creating worlds, and kicking ass.

https://www.facebook.com/inkmonster.net”  

https://twitter.com/aileen_erin”  

https://www.instagram.com/aileenerin/”  

“https://books2read.com/u/bM95oG?store=amazon”  

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[jbbarnesandnoble]

Hello my friends! I came to give you all a quick update on all things fanfiction!

So here's a quick summary of what to expect in the next few months

>>>>>

You can expect TWO new series in (hopefully) the next few months! They are both still under development and need a lot of work. But I'm really excited for them both!

The first series I'm working on is a Barista!Bucky x Photographer!Reader fic. It's called Love & Coffee(I mean who doesn't love love and coffee, am I right?) I started working on this sometime before summer and really love where it's going! I've put in a LOT of detail to all the characters and the story itself. I really hope it isn't a bust. It definitely needs some more work before I can post the first part. I also need to plan some more things and see where it's gonna go. But to say the least, I'm excited!

The second series is one I mentioned just earlier today! It's a Steve x Single!Mom!Reader fic. I only just started working on it today and I'm not sure where it'll go but im excited to see! I already have a few plot points worked out. This one will definitely come out later than the first one! I'm also excited seeing as it will(hopefully, if it works out) be my first Steve Rogers series!

>>>>>

Some questions you might have:

What does this mean for Hearts in Secret?

Worry not my dear friends! Hearts in Secret WILL continue through this process! I'm actually almost done writing it! Exciting and sad at the same time, this will be the first fic I've officially finished(that isnt a one shot) so I will continue to post it:)

What ever happened to Forever and Always?

If I am being 100% honest with you. It will be a while before I go back and fix that trainwreck of a fic. And once I go over and edit it(and plan it out better) I'm honestly not sure if it will continue. Forever and Always was the very first fic I ever wrote. Of course I will hold it near and dear to my heart but I'm just not sure if I can continue it. The idea came from a mix of other fics I read before writing F&A And as greatful as I am for it. It kind of feels like I just took someone else's idea. Of course I tried to make it my own, but in the back of my mind it always felt like someone else's. However, if I do decide to continue the series, it will undergo a LOT of changes. To officially make it my own. I truly hope that happens. Not only for you all that have stuck with it. But for myself as well. As sad as it would be to end it. I also be forever greatful for it:')

Will you still be active during this time?

Yep! I'll try my best to post, even if it's just reblogging Sebby pictures:)

Do you have wifi yet? (If you even care about this)

Nope, I do not. So that kinda sucks when i want to post my fics. But lucky for me the library has free wifi for me to use and post:)

>>>>>

If you have any other questions please feel free to let me know! I will try my best to keep you all updated. I'll post all new info on this post(most likely by reblogs)

[digitalmark18-blog]

How to Work From Home: 20 Tips From People Who Do It Successfully

New Post has been published on https://britishdigitalmarketingnews.com/how-to-work-from-home-20-tips-from-people-who-do-it-successfully/

How to Work From Home: 20 Tips From People Who Do It Successfully

Working from home is awesome … right up until the cat throws up on your computer. And your neighbor, who you can only assume is building a time machine, starts firing up all sorts of power tools and noisy machinery across the street.

For many modern professionals, working from home every once in a while is a luxury that our respective companies afford us. But which environment actually allows us to be more productive: the home office or the office office?

In the office office, your coworkers often pose the greatest threat to keeping you from getting some real, heads-down work done. They drop by your desk, engage you in conversation, and invite you to lunch. The social benefits of a workplace are definitely nice to have, but they can become a challenge if you’re easily distracted.

At the home office, however, I find that it’s easy for you to become your own worst enemy. Because when you’re not surrounded by coworkers, you’re free to drop those pesky inhibitions. At the home office, no one’s watching. You don’t necessarily feel that same peer pressure or communal obligation to get stuff done. (Also: You don’t have to wear pants.)

Below, I’ve compiled a bunch of great work-at-home tips and tricks from some of my awesome coworkers.

1. Get started early.

When working in an office, your morning commute can help you wake up and feel ready to work by the time you get to your desk. At home, however, the transition from your pillow to your computer can be much more jarring.

Believe it or not, one way to work from home productively is to dive into your to-do list as soon as you wake up. Simply getting a project started first thing in the morning can be the key to making progress on it gradually throughout the day. Otherwise, you’ll prolong breakfast and let the morning sluggishness wear away your motivation.

“When I work from home, I wake up, put on a pot of coffee, and start working immediately — much earlier normal working hours. I only start making breakfast once I’ve hit a wall or need a break. I’m a morning person and find I can get a ton done in the early morning hours, so this works really well for me.”

– Lindsay Kolowich

2. Pretend like you are going into the office.

The mental association you make between work and an office can make you more productive, and there’s no reason that feeling should be lost when telecommuting.

When working from home, do all the things you’d do to prepare for an office role: Set your alarm, make (or go get) coffee, and wear nice clothes. Internet browsers like Google Chrome even allow you to set up multiple accounts with different toolbars on the top — for example, a toolbar for home and a separate toolbar for work.

“Get fully ready for the day and pretend you’re actually going to work. Otherwise, you might find yourself back in bed.”

– Anna Faber-Hammond

3. Structure your day like you would in the office.

When working from home, you’re your own personal manager. Without things like an in-person meeting schedule to break up your day, you can be quick to lose focus or burn out.

To stay on schedule, segment what you’ll do and when over the course of the day. If you have an online calendar, create personal events and reminders that tell you when to shift gears and start on new tasks. Google Calendar makes this easy.

“Are mornings for writing while you’re in the office? Use the same schedule at home. While you probably will get tasks done faster at home than at work, this structure will help keep you focused and productive.”

– Ginny Mineo

4. Choose a dedicated work space.

Just because you’re not working at an office doesn’t mean you can’t, well, have an office. Rather than cooping yourself up in your room or on the couch — spaces that are associated with leisure time — dedicate a specific room or surface in your home to work.

“Have a place you go specifically to work. It could be a certain table, chair, local coffee shop — some place that’s consistently your ‘work space.’ It helps you get into the right frame of mind.”

– Sam Mallikarjunan

5. Don’t stay at home.

Is your home office just not getting it done for you? Take telecommuting a step further and get out of the house. Coffee shops, libraries, public lounges, and similar Wi-Fi-enabled spaces can help you simulate the energy of an office so you can stay productive even when you don’t sit in an official workplace.

“I get out of my home to work, and go to a Starbucks, Dunkin’ Donuts, or other WiFi enabled establishment with actual tables, chairs, and people. It helps simulate the work environment for me — white noise, chatter, that kind of thing — that usually helps me work better than utter silence. It also removes the distractions I typically have at home like the urge to finally actually clean my room, do laundry, or watch TV.

I also refuse to play into the trope of being some jerk sitting at Starbucks not doing any real work, so I feel motivated not to mess around on Facebook all day to show there are still people who actually get stuff done at a coffee shop!”

– Corey Wainwright

6. Make it harder for yourself to mess around on social media.

Social media is designed to make it easy for you to open and browse quickly. At work, though, this convenience can be the detriment of your productivity.

To counteract your social networks’ ease of use during work hours, remove them from your browser shortcuts and, according to Fast Company, log out of every account. You might even consider working primarily in a private or, if you’re using Chrome, an “Incognito” browser window. This ensures you stay signed out of all your accounts and each web search you conduct doesn’t autocomplete the word you’re typing. It’s a guarantee that you won’t be tempted into taking too many social breaks during the day.

“I remove all social networks from my toolbar bookmarks. Even if I don’t mean to browse them, some uncontrollable impulse subconsciously clicks on them when I experience downtime. You can get sucked in without knowing it (or even intending to), so eliminating the gateway to those networks keeps me on track.”

– Alec Biedrzycki

7. Commit to doing more.

Projects always take longer than you initially think they will. For that reason, you’ll frequently get done less than you set out to do. So, just as you’re encouraged to overestimate how much time you’ll spent doing one thing, you should also overestimate how many things you’ll do during the day. Even if you come up short of your goal, you’ll still come out of that day with a solid list of tasks filed under ‘complete.’

“Our team has a daily standup meeting each morning where we share what we’re working on for the day. On days I’m working from home, I tend to slightly overcommit on what I’ll deliver that day. It helps keep me honest, so even if I get the urge to go do something else, I know I’ve already committed a certain amount of work to my team.”

– Corey Wainwright

8. Work when you’re at your most productive.

Nobody sprints through their work from morning to evening — your motivation will naturally ebb and flow throughout the day. When you’re working from home, however, it’s all the more important to know when those ebbs and flows will take place and plan your schedule around it.

To capitalize on your most productive periods, save your harder tasks for when you know you’ll be in the right headspace for them. Use slower points of the day to knock out the easier, logistical tasks that are also on your plate. Verily Magazine calls these tasks “small acts of success,” and they can help build your momentum for the heavier projects that are waiting for you later on.

“For me, the most productive times of the day are usually early in the morning or late at night. I recognize this and try to plan my day accordingly. Also, music that really pumps me up doesn’t hurt.”

– Brittany Leaning

9. Save calls for the afternoon.

Sometimes, I’m so tired in the morning, I don’t even want to hear my own voice — let alone talk to others with it. You shouldn’t have to give yourself too much time to become productive in the morning, but you can give yourself some extra time before working directly with others.

If you’re struggling to come up with a reasonable work schedule for yourself as a telecommuter, start with the solitary tasks in the morning. Save phone calls, meetings, and other collaborative work for when you’ve officially “woken up.”

“Take advantage of morning hours to crank through meaty projects without distractions, and save any calls or virtual meetings for the afternoon.”

– James Gilbert

10. Focus on one distraction … like a baby!

There’s an expression out there that says, “if you want something done, ask a busy person.”

The bizarre but true rule of productivity is that the busier you are, the more you’ll actually do. It’s like Newton’s law of inertia: If you’re in motion, you’ll stay in motion. If you’re at rest, you’ll stay at rest. And busy people are in fast-enough motion that they have the momentum to complete anything that comes across their desk.

Unfortunately, it’s hard to find things to help you reach that level of busyness when you’re at home — your motivation can just swing so easily. HubSpot’s principal marketing manager, Pam Vaughan, suggests focusing in on something that maintains your rhythm (in her case, it’s her daughter).

“When I work from home, my 20-month-old daughter is home with me, too. It seems counterintuitive, but because I have to manage taking care of her and keeping her happy and entertained while still getting my work done, the pressure helps to keep me focused. When she’s napping or entertaining herself, I go into super-productive work mode.

It’s the same idea for why some people work better when they have very busy schedules — you learn how to manage your time VERY efficiently. The ‘distraction’ of my daughter (I mean that in the most loving way possible) means I can’t possibly succumb to some of the other common distractions of home — putting in a load of laundry, turning on the TV, doing other household chores — or else I’d never get any actual work done.”

– Pamela Vaughan

11. Plan out what you’ll be working on ahead of time.

Spending time figuring out what you’ll do today can take away from actually doing those things. And, you’ll have planned your task list so recently that you can be tempted to change your schedule on the fly.

It’s important to let your agenda change if you need it to, but it’s equally as important to commit to an agenda that outlines every assignment before you begin. Try solidifying your schedule the day before, making it feel more official when you wake up the next day to get started on it.

“If I’m planning on working from home on a certain day, I’ll make sure to get any work done ahead of time that requires me to be in the office — for example, if I’m working on a task that would be infinitely easier to complete with access to my large monitor screen, or need to schedule meetings with coworkers that are best had in person. Plan out your week in advance to optimize for the environments you’ll be in.”

– Niti Shah

12. Use technology to stay connected.

Working from home might help you focus on your work in the short term, but it can also make you feel cut off the larger operation happening in the office. Instant messaging and videoconferencing tools can make it easy to check in with coworkers and remind you how your work is contributing to the big picture.

“Part of what enables us to work from home so much more often now is the array of apps and tools designed to help remove distance as a barrier between team members. Finding the right tools to keep you and your team connected is important for staying productive at home.

At HubSpot, we use Slack to keep conversations going remotely, Trello to keep us organized around priorities, and Google Hangouts plus Webex to make remote meetings more productive. Getting the right stack of support tools to fit your work style makes a big difference.”

– Meghan Keaney Anderson

13. Match your music to the task at hand.

During the week, music is the soundtrack to your career (cheesy, but admit it, it’s true). And at work, the best playlists are diverse playlists — you can listen to music that matches the energy of the project you’re working on. Video game soundtracks are excellent at this. In the game itself, this lyric-free music is designed to help you focus; it only makes sense that it would help you focus on your work as well.

Want some other genres? Take them from startup marketer, Ginny Mineo, who offers her own work music preferences below.

“When I’m powering through my inbox, I need some intense and catchy rap/R&B (like Nicki Minaj or Miley Cyrus) blasting through my headphones, but when I’m writing, Tom Petty is the trick. Finding what music motivates and focuses me for different tasks (and then sticking to those playlists for those tasks) has completely changed my WFH productivity.”

– Ginny Mineo

14. Use laundry as a work timer.

You might have heard listening to just two or three songs in the shower can help you save water. And it’s true; hearing a few of your favorite songs start and end, one after another, can remind you how long you’ve been in the bathroom and shorten your wash time.

Why bring this up? Because the same general principle can help you stay on task when working from home. But instead of three songs off your music playlist, run your laundry instead.

Doing your laundry is a built-in timer for your home. So, use the time to start and finish something from your to-do list before changing the load. Committing to one assignment during the wash cycle and another during the dry cycle can train you to work smarter on tasks that you might technically have all day to tinker with.

“It’s already been said, but waking up early and getting things done before other people get online works for me. I also usually do laundry when I work from home and I set mini deadlines for myself corresponding to when I have to go downstairs to switch loads. If I’m working on an article, I tell myself I’ll get to a certain point before the wash cycle ends. Then I set another goal for the dryer.”

– Emma Brudner

15. Communicate expectations with anyone who will be home with you.

Of course, you might be working from home but still have “company.” Make sure any roommates, siblings, parents, spouses, and dogs (well, maybe not dogs) respect your space during work hours. Just because you’re working from home doesn’t mean you’re home.

“If anyone else is going to be at home when you’re working, they just have to be clear that when you’re in your ‘office’ (in my case, my signal to the family is having headphones on), you’re working — even if it looks like and feels like you’re hanging out at home. It’s easy to get distracted by the many things that have to be done around the house during the day.”

– Sam Mallikarjunan

16. Take clear breaks.

It can be so easy to get distracted as a telecommuter that you avoid breaks altogether. Don’t let the guilt of working in the building you sleep in prevent you from taking five to relax. Rather than just opening YouTube and watching some comfort clips, however, use your breaks to get away from your desk. Go for a walk outside or spend time with others who might also be in the house.

“Breaks, like making and eating lunch, can recharge you to do better work. Don’t assume you need to be working 100% of the time while you’re home to be more productive.”

– Ginny Mineo

17. Interact with other humans.

Remember: You’re working from home, not the moon. Interacting with other people during the day is allowed, even if they’re not your coworkers. In fact, it’s a good idea to see another face during the day when most of your work day is solitary.

“Go outside and find a human to interact with — ordering your coffee, running an errand, whatever. It keeps you sane.”

– Corey Wainwright

18. Prepare your meals the night before.

When you’re in your own home, it can be tempting to spend time preparing a really nice breakfast and lunch for yourself, chopping and cooking included. Don’t use precious minutes making your food the day of work — cook it the night before.

Preparing food ahead of time ensures you can actually use your meal times to eat, and that you aren’t performing non-work tasks that spend energy better used at your desk.

“Cooking at home is time you wouldn’t have spent meal prepping if you’d been in the office that day, and I find the minutes can really add up in the end. To mitigate that, I try to cook and prep my meals the night before, just like I would for a day at the office.”

– Lindsay Kolowich

19. Pick a definitive finishing time each day.

You might be under the impression that working from home establishes more work-life balance, but be careful with that assumption. Working from home can also feel like being at a casino — you can get so caught up in your activity, in a relaxing environment, that you lose complete track of time.

In lieu of coworkers, whose packing up and leaving the office reminds you to do the same, set an alarm at the end of the day to indicate your normal work day is coming to an end. You don’t have to stop at exactly that time, but knowing the work day is technically over can help you start the process of saving your work and calling it quits for the evening.

“If you work from home full-time (or on a regular basis), it’s really easy to let your work life bleed into your personal life. Maintaining a boundary is important for both halves of the equation.”

– Tyler Littwin

20. Keep the TV on in the background.

“I spent my first two years out of college working from home as a freelance writer. Of all the tips, tricks, and secrets I’ve uncovered for being more productive at home, one stands out above the rest: Putting on the History Channel. No joke. Just keep the History Channel running in the background at a low volume, and I swear, you’ll get stuff done. (I’m not exactly sure why this trick works, but I can only assume it has something to do with ancient aliens.)”

– Me (Erik Devaney)

Source: https://blog.hubspot.com/marketing/productivity-tips-working-from-home

[howtonothatepeople2017-blog]

It's a New Day (Flash)

I didn’t want to watch the inauguration, but I felt a patriotic duty to watch the amazing and willing transition of power of a nation from a successful leader to the newly elected leader. It is so historically important since this nation has fought internally for control so many times. And interesting to me as there are so many countries in the world where the leader of the country stays in power until illness or death removes them. 

OK…That was me trying to be emotionless and non judgement and non partisan about this fucked up thing that is happening in our country today. 

If that was enough for you, just skip the rest of this entry. If you want my mildly filtered opinion, read the rest of this entry.

Why can’t the U.S. by like, say, the U.K.? Leave Barak Obama in office. He is young and smart and could lead this country forward for many years. It would be better for the economy to not have to move one huge family in and one small family out, and add another family to the lifetime Secret Service roster. It would be better for the environment if we didn’t kill trees for printed election materials every four years, and have cars and buses and planes and helicopters and trains transport candidates and reporters crisscrossing America every election cycle. It would be more soothing to our citizens to not have to worry about all of the changes a new leader might make. It would be less divisive to our population to not fight over whose side is in power. 

Ok, no political system is perfect. 

And I love that the oath that the President and Vice President take are only about 10 words different than the oath I took to serve in the Air Force. Stay with me, I am not so arrogant as to suggest my tiny military service compares to being POTUS. And I know there are more complex binding contracts to POTUS than what is televised during the inauguration. But seriously, at 18 I swore to defend this country and it’s citizens from enemies foreign and domestic; at 18! What did I know about the gravity of any of those words at 18? What does Donald Trump know about them today? 

As they wait for the official proceedings to start, I notice: Michelle Obama looks beautifully exhausted and disappointed. Melania Trump looks lost and confused. Barak Obama took that last walk out of the capital with his same swagger. Donald Trump can’t even bother to button his coat or smile. But, he got an evil grin during the swearing in part.

I can’t wait for the first 100 days. 

And, two important things just happened. Signs, you might call them. It started raining as soon as Donald Trump started talking. And I had a huge and urgent need to take a shit as soon as Donald Trump raised his right hand.  

Ok, I am supposed to be liking people. Sorry, my political ranting blog is still under construction. Liking people, Here we go. 

1. People all throughout this country’s history have fought hard so we can have basic human rights. And people will continue to fight. I am grateful for the people who continue to argue and stand up and sit in and fight for what is right. I am grateful that as a lesbian woman of color I have a job and a house and friends and family and feel safe and open and loved, and that I am not in prison or dead. 

Lesson: There are people who will continue to fight the good fight and take the hard road because it will make it better for us all. And more of them are activated to do this work every day. Thank you to all of those who braved the weather this weekend to walk for our rights in cities all over America, and most personally, thank you to my sister, Suzie Chapstick for going to the March in LA.

2. Rain is a sign of cleansing. I love rain. Really deeply love it. Rain is also a sign of luck and blessings. I was snarky earlier in the assessment about the rain starting as soon as President Trump started talking. I take back the snark and replace it with the hopeful blessing I believe rain to hold. Enough people of voting age believed that Donald Trump would “Make America Great Again”, that he is our new president. I choose this moment to believe that running the country with the thought to make America great is really what President Trump will try to do.

Lesson: The universe knows things. This is a new day and a new kind of president for America. Sometimes change is good. Words matter-I hope President Trump starts using them differently. Actions matter- let’s see what he will DO.

3. Nancy Pelosi has seen a lot, done a lot, spoken for the voiceless a lot, changed a lot. She has done this at a fearless pace, and she uses the quiet voice of wisdom. She has reached across the aisle and been the bigger person through some tough battles. (Which is a bit comedic cause she is a tiny framed woman). I had the privilege of working with her at the beginning of the Universal Healthcare movement, so I know I hold some bias. No one is perfect. But, I am trying to like people; oh wait, this isn’t about me. I meant, I know Nancy Pelosi isn’t perfect, but she sure turned an awkward moment into one of brevity during President Trump’s first official action. During today’s signing of his first orders, President Trump he didn’t know what to do with the pens. For the first several minutes, President Trump didn’t observe any of the pageantry of the pen. His VP, in probably his first act as VP, had to prompt the President to use a new pen for each page and gift it to someone. President Trump didn’t think about who should get or wanted which pen based on what he had signed with it, or who might be invested in whom. Speaker Paul Ryan pitched in to help remind people to recap the pens to avoid the ink stain of just shoving pen into suit jacket pocket. And as is her style, Nancy Pelosi reached across the aisle and gently suggested to President Trump who might want which pen. The mood in the room changed from tense, quiet and formal to a little raucous and humorous, but with a lot of pointed humor. Nancy got the pen used to sign Tom Price’s order. This caused laughter, and almost a reassignment of the pen. Trump offered the pen used on Elaine Chao’s order to Nancy Pelosi as if to appease her, he also offered her the pen used on Scott Pruit’s order. Nancy redirected the President as to protocol each time in a gentle and smart way. Lesson: Every situation contains a teachable moment and we often let them fly right by. Take time to teach and teach the whole lesson; even/especially if you find yourself teaching someone who holds views and opinions different than your own. Even if no one is watching. Words matter. Actions matter. Learn one, do one, teach one. Someday we will all be supremely omnipotent. 4. George Clooney called me this morning distraught about the inauguration. Sometimes he can’t even find the cloud, much less the silver lining. He talked about his personal fears- losing health insurance, the regression of LGBT rights and the possibility of economic recession impacting our business. It was a lot of big fear. I kept listening. I tried to say some comforting things, tried to redirect his thought train, asked him what he is grateful for and then tasked him to just focus on one tangible thing in his own world he could do/fix/change that might make him feel better. He decided he would plug in his new wifi router. He asked me how I could be so upbeat on a day like today. I assured him that I was taking my own advice by completing a blog entry for today. He asked me to read it to him and I protested because I hadn’t gotten to the list yet so, it was really an angry rant at that point. But I obliged. 

Lesson: (Relearned) When your people ask for help, give it to them; even though reading the angry post made me feel a bit like a failure in the liking of people. Letting your people see or hear you fail doesn’t hurt so bad. AND words matter. George didn’t know I could write coherently (that is being a little generous) he had only ever seen or heard me writing in a meeting, note taking, or strategy planning fashion. He now wants me to co-write his book with him. 

5. Global warming, over population, climate change, bad fishing and poaching practices all suck. This is not news to you, I am sure. I tell you this because today was Penguin Awareness Day. Penguins are all impacted by the things I listed that suck. Penguins are awesome, beautiful, magnificent creatures. I couldn’t find, in simple investigation, who came up with Penguin Awareness Day, but I am grateful that someone put in the effort for such a creation. 

Lesson: Awareness days are good. Penguins know how to use Facebook and have their own page for their appreciation day. Every person and creature should have the platform to tell their story and an audience to listen. Thank you for giving that platform to the penguins today. The rest of you…step on up to your platform, I am listening.