#i was going to finish my rewatch but i rewatched all these scenes and i'm almost done with s2 anyway so

[ducktracy]

I seriously can't get "push the button and pull the crank" out of my head

YOU AND ME BOTH BROTHER! in fact i'm going to link it again here for the people who may not know what we're even referring to.. what a sad existence.. if you have no idea what this means watch this. and if you DO have any idea what this means, WATCH IT ANYWAY

it seriously is one of my all time favorite sequences ever to be animated. i know i have an accidentally potent habit of slinging hyperbole, but i'm very sincere about this. every part of it appeals to me, the first thing i did after i had finished the movie for the first time and was able to semi-coherently function was scribble a drawing for that scene--which i intend to top, i have some big pieces planned for this film still! seeing it made me cry instantly and i think part of the reason why it took me 5 hours to watch the film for the first time was because i didn't want to move past that sequence and i COULDN'T. i was trying to eat breakfast since i had to work that day and i think i just spent 30 minutes rewatching that bit and unable to eat anything all day because i was so overwhelmed and excited

one of the reasons i was most excited to see it in theaters was so that i could see that scene on the big screen and IT PAID OFF SOOOO MUCH!! and so did getting to gush to my friends who worked on it, and even specifically that scene! i just.. ahhhhHHH!!! my gratitude exceeds words and so does my overwhelm, somehow. deeply personal and life changing sequence and deeply personal and life changing movie

and instrumental version! i'm so excited for my vinyl of the soundtrack to get here...

you will look at them

[naivety]

For if not…

[iamfitzwilliamdarcy]

So here we go, my collected list of Mentions of Carmy's dad in the Bear:

S1E1, Carmy and Richie are arguing about the tournament:

Carmy: “We need the business! Nerds come to Rockford to play.” Richie: “Yeah, in 1987,when you were still in that deadbeat’s balls”

2. S1E4, Carmy, conversing with Uncle Jimmy, as follows:

J: “you ever miss him?” C: “I didn’t really know him well enough to miss him...when’s the last time you talked to him?” J: “around 20 years ago. We had a gnarly fight.” C: “What was it about?” J: “A million things. Drugs, alcohol, gambling. Mostly because he insisted on doing stupid fucking shit all the time. You know he had a new career every 10 minutes, wanted to be a broker then he wanted to be and defensive coordinator dead serious … suddenly he's a restaurateur, really stuck your poor mom with that place.

Later in the conversation, Jimmy adds (I edited a bit):

“I had a dream about him once, your dad, we’re up in lake geneva – we’re driving along, he’s in the passenger seat and we’re driving fast like really fast and i can’t get control– he wouldn’t put on his seatbelt, suddenly some kid, little boy walks into the middle of the road, slam on the brakes, but your dad goes flying through the windshield but he never lands, he keeps on flying” 

3. S2E06- When Mikey is picking a fight with Lee, he says-- “See here’s the thing, you know, I can throw forks because this is our father’s house. My father’s house.”

Earlier in the episode too, Donna references "dad's gun" when she's screaming at Nat, which I think is fascinating that all these years later it's still his gun -- and calls him "dad"

4. S3E06 - Tina asks Mikey if the Beef is a family business, and he answers: “My old man, he opened it. He also ran it into the ground. He just like has a giant stack of unpaid bills and he took one look and split, he hightailed it to the hills, never came back." I liked the following conversation too:

T: "They’ll do that?” M: “What, bills?” T: “Dads” M: “Amen to that” 

5- S3E08 - In addition to telling Nat she has her father's ass, Donna also tells Carmy's birth story, and it's the only one of the three that features their dad:

“Your father was there for that one… I wish he wasn’t No seriously. We were fighting the entire time. And the hospital. The hospital was a fucking mess. It was as if every person in the world decided to have labor at that exact second. And he… [scoffs] He kept asking for a sedative. [Sugar: Dad did?] Like he was about to give birth. Like he was asking for a sedative, and he was panicking, and he freaked me the fuck out.

so in summary: Carmy's dad abandoned the family when he was too young to really remember, he was unreliable, he clearly had addiction problems, there was dysfunction in his relationship with Donna, for some reason they still refer to his gun as his years later

[hirschkuh-traumvoll]

Like in your fav movie

the plot is: chralie's planning a movie night for everyone to participate, but you know her films are not much for your and your friend's taste, so you find a good old film and suggest alastor watching it together

words ≈ 5.6k

warnings: alastor has a favourite kiss scene in a movie... not like he likes this movie just because of the scene, but he just finds this kiss scene beautiful because i do so; also, gifs from the silent movie would appear in the text, don't be disturbed by them

author's note: this had been in my drafts for months, like for six-seven months!! because i easily jump from one project to another, but i'm glad i've finally finished it ^^

*. ⋆ ✧.·:·.* ☽ ･ ｡ﾟ･ ☾ *.·:·.✧ *. ⋆

You and Angel entered a video rental store in a search for a movie for tonight. The films Charlie kept came to an end, and none of you wanted to rewatch these toothroting romantic movies and children musicals. Some of you wanted something really entertaining. So Angel and you volunteered to find tapes that would please everyone and at the same time wouldn't violate the rules drawn up by Charlie. At least not all of them. It wasn't easy, but at least going on this mission you freed yourself from her trust building exercises. And this was a huge plus.

Entering the shop you decided to split up, pick out a few tapes that suited the majority's taste, and then discuss together which of these you should take.

You went to the detective section and Angel to the fantasy. Horrors, actions, thrillers and all the similar was out of your list, as it simply went against Charlie's rules, god damn them, why couldn't you even watch a good horror movie in the hotel situated in hell? Did it really interfere with redemption?

But you shook your head. She tried her best for you all, after all. And moreover the lights in the horror section suspiciously flickered now and then… Better stay away from that part of the shop.

The detective part seemed quite boring, though the bright covers with abstruse names dazzled in front of your eyes, persuading you to buy them. You took only two tapes that seemed suitable and moved to the other section when suddenly something caught your eye, making you stop abruptly. You turned your head to the shelves on your right and saw a familiar white and black face without even a hint of a smile. And this film was in the comedy section. The man in the image was holding a book in one hand and a magnifier in the other one. Fake mustache was on his pale face, and a flat hat was on the top of his head.

Your eyes widened in a growing surprise as you pronounced “no way” with a smile curving your lips, and your hand reached to the tape.

* ☽ ･ ｡ﾟ･ ☾ *

Angel stood in front of you with several tapes in each of his hands, pressing them to his fluffy chest. One tape seemed to stick out right from his fur. Even in his extra section of arms he held at least five tapes in his large palms. And you stood in front of him with just a single film.

“The fuck, babe?”

“I see you've done a great job, Angel! Let's go to the cash desk!” You answered cheerfully, ignoring his frown.

“Wait, hold on!” He wanted to grab your hand, but realised it was impossible for him, so he just stepped out in front of you, bending his waist, not losing a single tape, even the one in his fur, which now was staring right at you. You took a step back, mentally preparing to defend yourself from his sarcasm. He knew what a nerd you were with your strange passion for everything old, including silent movies.

Angel tilted his head, reading the name of the tape you squeezed in your palm.

“1924..? A silent comedy?! Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me?!”

“You don't understand, Angel, it's a very important film.” You said grandly, but your friend only rolled his eyes, as if he knew why exactly you chose this tape among all the modern movies and even hell made ones. “I know what you're thinking about, Angel,” He looked down grumpy at you, “but I assure you, that I came to love silent pictures long before I met Alastor. I loved them even when I was alive. Frankly, a part of me wanted to become a director, so much I loved cinematography, but, unfortunately, I died.”

Maybe not even unfortunately, you thought. In hell you met people you would die for, so partly you were glad you were dead.

Angel's eyes went from the tape in your hands to your face and back. His expression relaxed, but he was still frowned a bit,

“Eh, do you really think somebody’s gonna watch it? Cuz’ I’m out.”

You came up to the cash register, and handed the precious tape to a cashier, whilst Angel dumped all that he was holding in hands at the desk, making quite a heap of films of various genres. Your eyes quickly ran through the names on the covers and recognised most of them. Your cinematography knowledge was indeed deep and sound. You mentioned that most of the selected films actually met the princess’s requirements (though they were not so ‘harmless’ as Charlie's ones), but, not without a surprise, you observed that some pictures could literally drive Charlie mad if she'd find them.

“I fully trust your taste, Angel.” You answered, paying for the tape and taking a breath to say something that caused a little blush on your cheeks. “But this one tape is just for me and… Alastor.” You confessed with a little hesitation.

“Ohh! So it's a movie date then, huh?” Angel grinded cheeky, propping himself against the cash desk, eyeing at you.

“Don't say so.” Frowning, you tapped your fingers against the tape, imagining Alastor's face when you would suggest watching this film together. You couldn't deny you imagined his polite smile turning into a genuine one, a warmer and softer smile, how he calls you with a precious pet name ‘cher’ rolling from his tongue so sweetly as his eyelids droop slightly as every time you say something pleasant to him. And what could be more pleasurable than an offer to watch a classic comedy together? Especially when it was filmed by a director you both liked?

“Well, I hope.” You admitted. After all it wasn't a secret for Angel that you felt something for the deer man. You never really tried to hide your little crush on the Radio Demon. But you were a little scared of the thought that one day the rest of the crew and then he himself would find out what actually Alastor was to you. So you were very nervous when recently Charlie mentioned how your expression changed every time Alastor entered the room, how a smile on your face was impossible to wipe off, how your eyes never left Alastor, how you leaned closer to him when he was speaking. She was speaking with an understanding smile and even winked at you when you tried to deny.

If she noticed it, could he?

But when you decided to play a cold blooded towards him you appeared close to having your heart melted. It was fruitless to try to escape your feelings for they only grew stronger, wrapping their roots firmly around your tortured heart.

“Ha! I knew you have a crush on Tall Dark And Creepy!” Angel laughed, and, though you were slightly embarrassed, you couldn't help smile back at him — his laughter was too infectious. Even the cashier could hardly suppress a smile.

Angel put his hand on your shoulder and said with a bright smile,

“I’ll make sure Charlie picks the loooongest movie, so nobody will bother you, sugar.” He winked at you, spreading red across your cheeks. Then Angel lowered his gaze to the tape you twisted in your hands. “Hm. Tell me, babe, how long is this?”

You looked up, trying to remember,

“Hmm, about forty minutes?”

“What!?”

“What do you want? It's an old thing.” You waved the tape.

“Pff! This is not an excuse!” He crossed his arms, and you wanted to clarify to him the whole complicated process of filming a movie in the early 20s, and especially this comedy, shot on two films at once for better sales abroad, but Angel hushed you with his forefinger in front of your nose. “Don't you dare explain to me about film shooting again, toots.”

And only when he saw reconciliation in your eyes he continued, combing his white hair back with his gloved hand,

“Okay, that's not so bad. There are still a lot of hot things you can do in forty minutes, especially when you're so foxy. The longest shit I have is about three hours, so even when you, guys, finish you’ll still have about two hours in your pocket.” Angel widely smiled at you, being proud that he’d just organized you a potential date.

But you actually weren't so sure. Alastor was a busy man, it would be a great luck if he’d agree to join you tonight and wouldn’t leave right away as the movie ended.

“Angel, I-”

“No need to thank me, babe.” Angel gave the cashier banknotes, leaning forward to him and moving his hips to the side with grace blended with seduction. He turned to you again. “I'm always glad to help my friends with movies.”

You didn't know why it sounded suggestively, maybe Angel could make everything sound suggestively. You nodded and thanked him, but still thought that his conception of a movie date differed from yours. All you really wanted was to watch a movie that you and your friend/beloved enjoyed. But you really worried about the extra two hours. If Alastor was free tonight and when the others would be watching an Angel's movie, you would be left alone with Alastor… For two hours. The thought made you feel nervous because of excitement blended with fear that Alastor always made you feel: when he cast a look at you, when he placed his hand on your shoulder, when he praised your knowledge, or when he just emerged in your thoughts. And even now, when he didn't even know what you were about to offer him, just a thought of his smile and glowing eyes made your palms perspire and goosebumps ran down your spine.

* ☽ ･ ｡ﾟ･ ☾ *

When you entered the hotel and looked around the lobby and the bar, Angel whistled above you,

“Hey, look who's up there!”

When you looked up you saw Alastor taking a view of the hotel's lobby from the balcony. He held his hands behind his back, gripping his microphone, and stuck his chest out. But despite the proud look his gaze seemed empty, as if his thoughts were far from this place.

You felt a gaze on you and turned to Angel, who playfully raised his brows at you, and you rolled your eyes at him.

“Go to Charlie, and I���” The shyness occupied you suddenly, making it hard for you to say aloud the name of your crush. Why did it take you so much strength to pronounce the name of your beloved, especially when he was in the same room? Your cheeks blushed brightly as your eyes landed on the man you loved — he met your eyes and flashed you a smile.

“I'm going!” You exclaimed, throwing a paper bag with the new tapes into Angel's hands, and headed for the stairs.

“Break a leg, honey!” You heard behind your back and rolled your eyes, but smiled.

Alastor was about to go but noticing you entering the lobby he remained standing at the railing. So, you came back from shopping with your friend porn star. Wonderful. Now you waved him with your hand, catching his attention, though he was following your figure with his eyes as you were coming upstairs, and he responded to you with a tilt of his head.

You came up to him, keeping one hand behind your back, your left hand tucked your hair behind your ear as you stopped in front of him.

“Hi!” You greeted him. The blush Alastor saw on your cheeks dispelled all his thoughts. Your earthy beauty — so rare in hell and because of this even more precious — was pure and natural, and he couldn't help fixing his gaze on you each time you appeared before his eyes as a dreamy apparition. Just a view of you ignited his chest with warmth. And though just two minutes ago he felt resentment and even jealousy (he hated the fact that he wasn't there when Charlie was choosing who to send shopping, and it ended up with you and Angel going together), now he forgot, or almost forgot, his umbrage. Your smile wasn't so wide, your eyes didn't sparkle so bright, and you didn't tug nervously at the edge of your shirt when you were speaking with anyone but Alastor. And it meant something.

“Good evening, my dear! How was your shopping?” The last word was pronounced sharply, perfectly matching the flash of his fangs in the thin smile, and you, somehow, had to lower your gaze to escape the embarrassment. He looked too damn handsome with his lowered crimson eyelids and this dangerous grin, even when he was obviously irritated for some reason. Although you guessed why he was angry and knew it was fruitless to dispel his emotions with words — Alastor always appreciated actions.

“Weeell,” You drawled and handed him the tape from behind your back. It wasn't taken from your hand right away as you expected, so you looked up at him, seeing him observing the film with the narrowed eyes.

“Ooh,” Alastor's eyes gleamed when he read the title, “Oh my! The Great Stone Face himself!”

His fingertips slightly brushed yours as he took the tape from your hands and looked over it from every side. Looking at the front cover, he titled his head as if remembering something. A melancholic smile spread across his face and, slightly parting your lips in anticipation, you prepared to hear another old story of his past life. You loved his stories, Alastor was a great storyteller, no wonder he chose radio his career. With his smooth voice, perfect articulation and intonation, rich vocabulary he could make any story riveting. When you were in low spirits it was enough of him to tell you an anecdote to make the tears disappear from your eyes. Or when you wanted to hear a scary story Alastor gladly dedicated you to the details of his killings, which made your blood run cold but also brought a strange thrill to your heart. But most of all you liked when he reminisced about his earth life. That melancholic glitter in his eyes, sad smile, and low voice. He didn't share these memories with many people, and there was something intimate in the way he looked in your eyes, telling you about his good old days that he, despite all his pride and vanity, missed. And Alastor liked to share his memories with you. To see this light in your eyes and this genuine smile of yours. What could be more lovely in hell?

“You know, my dear, I once met him.”

“What?!” You exclaimed in amusement.

“Well, yes, my dear!” He nodded as if confirming his words and lowered his gaze, drifting somewhere in his memories, ready to put in language hir recollection. “It happened just once but I remember this day rather clearly.

“It was an evening party at the house of an acquaintance of mine, who, however, was a goner!” Alastor chuckled darkly, but there was nothing new for you that often his acquaintance became his victims. “But he knew how to throw a party. But none of the evenings he hosted wouldn’t be as charming without the people he invited. The man simply didn’t have a talent for entertaining, luckily, he had his guests. And on that evening Keaton was the life of the party.

“You know, darling, what impressed me the most? The smile and hearty laughter of this genius of comedy. It's not a secret he had been hiding this side of him from the whole world, for his whole life, but when it was only him and people around him, and no cameras, he laughed so infectiously nobody could help joining him!” And as if remembering that laugh, Alastor quietly chuckled himself.

“And what splendid headlines were on the next morning! Of course I was famous not only for my radio broadcast, dear. My ever present and, I mention it not without pride, charming smile was a subject matter of pressmen as well as the Buster's deadpan. So the picture of us on the front page caused a sensation!”

“Unbelievable,” You pronounced without taking your eyes from his face, “How many celebrities did you know?”

“Quite a few,” He answered abruptly, “But that's not the reason you showed me this cassette, isn't it?” He arched one brow glancing down at you and handing you back the tape.

“Oh, yeah!”

Now was the most difficult part: to pretend you were suggesting a movie night together as friends, and don't let the blush spread all over your face.

“How about we watch it together? Tonight?”

Your suggestion was delightful! Alastor as a matter of fact planned to invite you someday to the only traditional cinema theatre in hell which was located in the Cannibal Town, and where only the silent pictures were running. But now you were inviting him. Well, he guessed, it might be this new modern fashion of youth when a girl invites a man, but Alastor was more than just glad to hear your invitation. But the next time he wouldn't let you take the advantage of being first. Now he couldn't help teasing you a little bit, so you wouldn’t be too proud of your bravery.

“Shouldn't we watch whatever movie Charlie chooses to watch together?” Alastor asked with a mischievous smile and a head tilt.

“Yeaahh, right, but. I think we won't like whatever she will choose, but this one,” And you shook the tape in your hand, “is for our taste. Only.”

“Hmm,” He smiled like a cat, satisfied with its trick, slyly and pleasingly, and then exclaimed, throwing his hand, “Well, as you wish, my dear!”

You were ready to jump up with joy, but stopped as Alastor continued, “But we are _not_ going to watch this masterpiece of comedy through this annoying and horrible television technology, are we?”

“I'm afraid we don't have any other choice…”

“Nonsense, darling!” He waved his hand, making everything disappear in green flashes and dark shadows.

* ☽ ･ ｡ﾟ･ ☾ *

You found yourself in the darkness diluted with purple and green spots, and when you got used to the dim light you understood you appeared in a small concert hall of the hotel. Only a few scones and lights on the stage floor illuminated the room with dark red walls, which seemed to absorb their yellowish light just as the black ceiling, so there was not much use in the lighting. As you looked around you understood an oddity — you stood in the center of the concert hall and there were no seats around.

You heard such a familiar static noise becoming louder, and palm with long black fingers lay on your shoulder as though to guide you, and it traced down to link with your arm. Looking up you met the rose red gaze shining even brighter than the scones on the walls.

“Come on, darling.” Alastor led you to a loveseat, which silhouette emerged now from the darkness. The place was absolutely different without furniture and being sunk in velvet darkness. It seemed like the dusk imbibed each sound which was louder than the rustle of your clothes, but each step against the carpeted floor split it, leading you and your friend to the only seat in the room. Approaching it, you noticed that at the piano in the corner of the stage was sitting one of Alastor's ink-servants. The black-and-white imp in a little top hat kept his arms on the keys ready to start to play in any second. Looking higher you saw a huge white screen, hanging down instead of the closed curtains. No, not a screen, a sheet or another light piece of cloth.

Alastor's hand moved to your palm when you were taking a seat on a soft cloud sofa, and you looked around once again. Not only was the lack of furniture odd, the darkness seemed too deep and this silence felt actually velvet, wrapping your ears like rich fabric and comforting you.

But Alastor's solemn tone lay as a new dab on the blackness, painting it with exciting red.

“Now, isn't it a wonderful atmosphere, my dear?” All this time Alastor didn't take his eyes from you, watching your reaction, and he was satisfied, because there was genuine delight in your eyes. His microphone conjured away as he sat next to you with his legs crossed and placed one hand on his knee and another one behind you on the back of the loveseat.

“Absolutely.” You gave him a smile.

“Shall we start the performance, then?” He asked, leaning to you and seeing your nod he snapped his fingers. Right away a bright white beam of a projector pierced through the darkness, placing a black square with the greyish ghostly letters of the title and actors’ names on the white sheet, and at once the ink imp started its tapeur work with a loud, major chord.

As an old proverb, some kind of a prologue for the comedy, appeared on the screen you leaned to Alastor.

Don't try to do two things

at once and expect to do

justice to both.

Well, just as the main character of the picture you ignored the advice of ancestry, but if the young man on the screen was studying the science of being a detective whilst working as a cinema operator, you were on your mission by living through a date without giving a hint that it was a date.

But something, a chance or maybe someone, determined to destroy this facade.

When you moved to Alastor your knee accidently touched his, but even this innocent little hit was enough to make his heart flutter. Alastor knew, you made him too weak, and what was the most scandalous, you were able to do such things to him right from your first day in the hotel, since your first look at him, since your first shy smile and a greeting. It took you disgracefully a little to settle down in every corner of his mind. But never did Alastor feel sorry for this. The way you always excited and thrilled him was so pleasurable. He would be a fool to try to oppose such poisonously sweet torture. And how adorable it was to watch the same reaction from you, especially because of the fact you couldn't keep the same control of your emotions as he could, letting yourself stutter and blush so easily everytime he approached.

So to collect more of such reactions from you and to make his own heart tremble Alastor tilted his head to your side, as if ready to rest on your shoulder, and his hand found your wrist to brush it. A sigh escaped your lips, eyes were fixed to the screen too afraid to see what expression he had and to know if he captured your wrist on purpose or was it a pensive gesture without grounds. But hesitatingly your fingers embraced his, then his thumb approvingly caressed your palm, and you finally intertwined your fingers with his. Alastor gladly hummed, eyeing at you, but you were too concentrated on the movie or you pretended that you did. Anyway you were not about to look at him for Satan's sake, so he could feast his eyes on you, who became even more beautiful with your eyes narrowed in a joyful smile because of another amazing gag of the comedian. But what made you the most charming in all hell was the fact your hand was in Alastor's and you kept him as firmly as he kept you.

There was a special intimacy in watching a movie together. In a way you shared a surprise at the same scenes, how you squeezed each other's hands at the instants of tension, how you laughed at the same gags and witty intertitles. You were not enjoying just yourself or the picture on the screen, it was a delight of being together and sharing one passion for two.

But nothing lasts forever, and the most pleasurable moments feel the shortest. And you knew the film was coming to its end — the main character woke up in his projectionist's booth just to realize that all his feats for his beloved girl were merely a dream. You sighted at the view of the pale face staring at you from the small window of his booth. His sad eyes were full of shreds of his unfulfilled dreams, and he turned away from the camera in a shame of being so touched with illusions of his unrealized love. Your time alone with Alastor was running out as inexorably as the film in the projector, and now you shared the melancholy of the character, not the excitement of your unfulfilled lover who was humming a cheerful tune under his breath. But you didn't see him nervously rocking his foot side to side.

But there a love interest of the protagonist rushed into his room, you knew what was about to happen, and your heart skipped a beat as Alastor whispered closely to your ear,

“And that, my dear, despite my fussy taste, as some might say, is my favourite kiss scene in the whole cinematography.”

Your cheeks burnt when the protagonist, following the movements of the man in the film he was watching from his post, took the hands of his beloved, and felt how Alastor took your hands in his. Now The Stone Face eyed at the screen — at you! — to understand how to flirt with the girl further, and you knew Alastor cast a look at the silent actor as well, checking the timing. His palms warmed yours and you were glad he held them tightly because you had no doubt you were shaking as a leaf in the wind because of the thrill of your emotions.

And what did the protagonist of the protagonist's movie do? He kissed the hands of his beloved woman, and so did his disciple. You guessed what could follow in your movie, in your life, and you didn't know when the fear and excitement had mixed together, giving birth to a new feeling wrenching your guts to numbing, until all you felt was your frantically beating heart. 

“Cher?” Alastor murmured, drawing your hands to him and leaning down. You couldn't look at him, it was better to follow the actions in the film than to believe that your dream was coming true. But you heard very well the sound of a kiss to your knuckles and then the rustle of Alastor's clothes as he leaned to your neck, tracing with his nose a light path to your ear to place a modest peck onto your flushing cheek.

But when the character cast unequivocal, intensive and long look at the girl, and carefully captured her face in his palms, and leaned in to give her a kiss as passionate one as in the movie he'd just seen, he quickly pecked her like an innocent boy kissing his first love, and let go of her right away, to peer his gaze into the screen again to have another hint. And if this character, who so shamelessly broke the fourth wall again and again, if this very character could indeed see what was happening by that side of the screen, he could witness a scene of someone overcoming their shyness and following the mute movements of their beloved. 

But you didn't have a chance to see the kiss scene in the film. Alastor softly took you by your chin, gently drawing your face to him. He was already so close that you shared one sigh for two, and all you had to do was to slightly tilt your head back and let his lips meet yours.

Oh, the famous Pale Face would, for sure, turn into the Blushed Face if he would witness the tenderness of this kiss through the broken fourth wall.

Alastor's lips gently travelled over yours, pressing one feather kiss by another and another one, until you responded to him, slightly bending back and pressing your lips to his as your hands found his broad shoulders. His lips were cotton soft as he brushed them against yours in shy kisses remembering gentle little bites, which sent shivers up and down your spine and made your palms deliriously wander over his shoulders, chest and neck. You felt him smiling all the time, and you couldn't help but playfully catch his lower lip as he put another kiss on you and slightly pull him to you. He growled in low and the sound seemed to come from down of his stomach up to his throat. Hearing the groan you wanted to retract but the palm that appeared on the nape of your neck kept you in one place, whilst his fingertips drew the circles on your chin.

“Do you like this scene as I do, dear?” He whispered slightly leaning back, each word he pronounced made his lips brush against yours.

You opened your eyes and met your own reflection in his dilated pupils finged with rose-red light of his irises. His look was intensive but not lustful; he looked deeply into your eyes, and the entreaty shining through his gaze slowly changed into a command for you, and he didn't even have to use words to make you give in to him again. So you leaned in, parting your lips and sealing a stronger kiss against his smile, when suddenly your ears caught a change in the background music. It seemed the rhythm of your heart was equal to the fragile serene sound of the piano, but then Alastor tilted his head to deepen the kiss and twirled his fingers in your hair, making you flutter, and as his chest pressed to yours you realised your hearts were beating in unison. And the piano melody faded away. The velvet silence wrapped you both again, and again it was disturbed, and this time with the sound of slight moaning during kissing, crackling of static, which became louder every time your fingers touched the nape of his neck, and there was also rustling of the film now coming to the end. The black silence was broken with the sound of love, gentle and devoted.

“Mmm…” The static popped out through his low moan as your tongue brushed against his. You couldn't hide your sounds, too, and they seemed to make Alastor more heated. As your high and helpless moan fell in his mouth, he stole air from your lungs, wrapping his arms tighter around you and delving deeper, sliding the tip of his tongue against your palate, making you quiver in his embrace even more.

He parted his lips from you and cascaded kisses on your neck, and, oh dear, how sweet you were. Just as he expected, even better! So intoxicated and sweet. How long had he been dreaming of tasting this delicate, soft neck of yours? For too long. So now he was savouring each long kiss onto you with no rush, knowing you were now his favourite course he would never refuse and would never have enough. He lightly clutched your soft skin between his teeth, growling at your taste as he moved his tongue along your sensitive spot, and making you even tastier with his name rolling from your tongue.

“Al… Alastor…” You weakly whispered, stroking down his chest. The air in the room felt too hot to inhale, but you were already out of breath, and every caress of Alastor warmed you even more. You simply melted as sugar in his flame embrace, just a few more loud kisses under your ear and you would liquefy into caramel he would consume.

But luckily for you he traced higher, freeing your weak spot and placing a kiss to your temple, the corner of your eyes, several pecks down your cheek to your jaw, and then your lips again, in a final smooth and deep kiss. He heated the fire down, by now you were in very right condition — showing your love without shyness due to his incentive, and by that, influencing him to give you more, so you both could revel in sharing happiness. But the unhurried tempo he had chosen aroused within him something he didn't want to interfere with. Not now. It was too early.

So slowly his kiss became chaster, though his arms never lightened their grasp around you as a silent promise to never be satisfied. Gently your lips were parted, and you pressed your foreheads to each other. Silence was still a warm blanket over you. You dared to look up at Alastor — he was smiling, but not as usual, it was a soft, loving smile. He had a little blush on his cheeks as well, so adorable. And he admired you with the same intensity as you did.

A smile spread on your face as you slightly leaned back. What he did now was divine.

“There was no unwind in your times, right?” You asked with a playful tone, and he immediately caught your hint,

“Of course no, dear!” He answered with theatrical sadness, lowering his head just to quickly lift his gaze up back to you and say in low with half lidded eyes, casting passion at you, “But I could invent one for you.”

His hands on your waist harshly pulled you closer to him and you fell on his chest. He lifted your chin with the tip of his claw and crushed a kiss of a different nature on your lips, in a new, ardent fashion with unambiguous intention to make a whole movie now instead of just a scene.

*. ⋆ ✧.·:·.* ☽ ･ ｡ﾟ･ ☾ *.·:·.✧ *. ⋆

taglist: @milkissesx @moonluna07 feel free to ask to be removed or added

p.s. i made these gifs myself and i had to reduce their quality over and over again because they were too heavy for tumblr and now they look... bad 🥹 but let's say it's an ✨ old silent movie esthetic✨

[absolutebl]

Best 24 of BL 2024 - Quirky Awards

ONLY shows that ENDED their runs in 2024 are up for awards.

SHOCK & AWE AWARDS

1. Biggest BL surprise of 2024:

Cherry Magic Thailand. TayNew's version was truly a lovely experience and very much its own take on the original, an adaptation rather than a remake. I'm so relieved and grateful that GMMTV managed to pull it off, and sad it wasn't more widely available.

2. The “that country did WHAT?” award:

Meet You At the Blossom from China. From start to finish it is exactly as it claimed to be, wuxia BL, including more than the expected amount of sexual claiming (dubious consent to the point of rape) and actual kisses, wife language, floaty sleeves, you name it. FROM CHINA!!!

3. Biggest casting whoa! where did you come from? award:

Up & Poom in My Stand-In. I mean, WHERE did you two come from and how did this happen? Holy smokes. My goodness are we grateful!

4. That studio did WHAT now? award:

Youku putting Unknown out wide and easily avaiable on YouTube (for most of us). It's just really rare for a Taiwanese BL to get any kind of distribution. And to do that with arguably the best TaBL of the year and not some sad little mew mew? Amazing.

5. I’m sad you were ignored award:

Sugar Dog Life - such a charming JBL, so hard to find. I'm so sad it didn't get distribution. It's charming, one of my favorites of the year, worth tracking down if you can.

6. 2024 BL That Actually Made Me Lose My Mind Award?

I gotta be honest, it was The Sign. I was such a chaotic mess of a show but never once was I bored. It was the only one that drove me into memes and captions and silliness.

I did go a bit feral for a while over Love for Loves Sake and Wandee Gooday not to mention The Only One (until it went tits-up).

NARRATIVE AWARDS

7. Best story 2024:

Cherry Magic (Thai remake). I know, but it worked just as well in another country, if not better. I always enjoy this kind of magical realism concept (after all Color Rush is one of my all time favorite BLs) and despite the increased length, the pacing was solid on this one... even from Thailand.

8. Best narrative structure 2024 award:

Love For Love's Sake. A KBL isekai about a man who must win a game by convincing a reserved teen outcast to fall in love with him. Of course, that teen represents himself and his own unhappiness. I drowned in this show and liked it that way.

9. Best 2024 dialogue (script) award:

We Are, it was just so much fun. And so FUNNY.

10. Favorite scene 2024:

Like anyone needed to ask. Unknown, of course.

11. The most rewatchable BL of 2024 award:

We Are

It's just all the couples are so cute and the core friendship group is so charming and endearing.

ACTORS & CHARACTERS AWARDS

12. Best performance of a queer actor in a leading role:

no award this year, yeah the whole damn industry should be thoroughly ashamed of itself

13. Best pining 2024:

The Time of Fever. That feeding him orange while lying on the floor scene ALONE.

14. Best wingman 2024 (The Namgoong Award)

Yai in The Sign.

15. Biggest OMG I LOVE you boys together, YAY!

SailubPon from Pit Babe & This Love Doesn't Have Longbeans, from the softness of one to the health code violations of the other. Sure their shows are bonkers, but man are these two good at bonkers (and bonking).

With a nod to BigPark from Monster Next Door.

16. Most unexpected return of a BL pair? award:

OffGun. There were rumors that Off was out at the beginning of 2023. And then they came back with 2 shows in 2024 (Cooking Crush and The Trainee)!

17. Well aren't you two just the prettiest? award:

I dithered a lot (Babe's damn waist and OMG The Sign's sex scenes hawt), but in the end it had to go to GreatInn. They were just so good at showing their characters having FUN together. There is a lot of beauty in enjoying sex and another person's company. It's so rare to see that portrayed in a BL (and it shouldn't be rare).

18. LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD

I'm actually giving it to OffGun. Ya know, where others falter, these two just keep going. It's kinda amazing.

RANDOM PICKS

19. Favorite Linguistic Moment of 2024:

The general flirtatious banter from Last Twilight.

20. Biggest disappointment of 2024:

Addicted Heroin (Thai version). Some of the very best original material + one of my favorite Thai actors (who I've been waiting eons to see in a BL again) and THIS was the result? They could have fixed China's worst BL mistake, instead the made everything worse. I'm gonna be bitter for a really really long time.

I gotta sat The Only One comes a real close second tho. And I'm still mad about Last Twilight, too.

21. Best Wardrobe/Prop Use 2023

Meet You At The Blossom - I love a pretty boy pissing contest over who has the biggest sleeves. Twirl you beautiful bastards, TWIRL!

22. Best Queer Rep 2024

Again, not great this year. I loved the fun sex and play in Wandee, but there were precious few femme characters, and in general it felt like we took some steps back from queerness this year. So I'm gonna give it to Deep Night, because at least they gave us honest poly for the first time.

23. Best Meta Trope call out

Love for Love Sake - Korea taking to task the Dead Fish Kiss when they are often the worst offender was...... amusing.

But Deep Night having male sex workers having to act like they were in a BL for a couple chicks...... literally gay for pay depicting gay for pay and just, well, that's frankly a gut punch. There was some sarcastic clapping on my side of the screen.

24. Well aren't you getting all Live Action Yaoi retro with your bad self?

Dominant Yakuza and Wimpy Corporate Slave gets my vintage af award. I flipping LOVED it. Would I recommend it? Only if you, yourself, are a bit vintage.

Final question: which of the 24 was the hardest for me to pick?

20 Biggest disappointment of 2024. Look I had some pretty high expectations of some returning pairs, some great ideas, and some intriguing remakes. 2024 was full of disappointments.

2022's Version of the Quirkies

2023's Version of the Quirkies

Remember I only pull from shows that were completely finished by the end of 2024.

(source)

[spearsillustration]

🐝 RID Stressed Bumblebee X Cybertronian Reader

Notes: I've been currently rewatching RID, when I was younger I didn't finish it. It's not as bad as I remember it being. I usually have it playing in the background when I'm working on something but I kind of love it. And I just love this version of Bumblebee. He's just a silly little guy doing his best. I think the only reason I didn't like this version is because I watched TFP first and that gives a person high expectations. 

Word count -  4,083

Page Number - 10.7 (How? This was meant to be short and sweet.)

 I've noticed Bumblebee's been far more quiet lately. I didn't think too much of it until Bumblebee snapped at Strongarm and Sideswipe for never listening to him. Yes, he yells at them for bickering from time to time, but this time was different. His voice was louder, scarier even. As he left the scene I could see his hands trembling, smoke practically coming out of his receptors. I followed him to try and talk about what was bothering him. 

        Before leaving I reassured the others that Bee was probably just having an off day and to forgive his actions. I slowly followed after to see what was wrong but I knew I had to be patient since he was obviously going through something.

        "Wanna talk about it?"

        The yellow autobot stopped in his tracks when he heard my voice, letting out a frustrated sigh before looking back at me He was clearly pissed off, but he was able to calm down once he saw it was me.

        "I'm fine," he said, voice harsh and stern but his eyes said otherwise, they were filled with stress and worry.

        "How about we leave base for a bit and go for a little drive? I know a place that'll help clear your mind a bit. You'll love it." I smiled warmly hoping he'd come around. 

        Bumblebee looked down at me, his optics slowly softening as he let out a small sigh and nodded. He still looked as stressed as ever, but at the promise of some time away from everyone, he'd feel much better.

        "Yeah, sure...I could use a drive right now," he said in a low tone.

        "Alright let's go then. I told the others we'd be gone for a while." Me and Bee transformed and I started leading us to our destination.

        Bumblebee followed driving in silence beside me, not saying a word. It had been a while since the two of us were able to be alone like this, so it seemed he slowly became more relaxed. I would usually try playing around or racing with him, but I knew he wasn't in the mood so we kept driving silently. He was in a bad mood so of course I wouldn't play around. I just understood his need to get away for a bit. After another 20 minutes of driving, he spoke up, "...Where exactly are we going?"

        "You'll see soon. It's a surprise, but you'll love it. It's just what you need."

        Bumblebee let out a small sigh but didn't object. He trusted me enough and if I said he would love this place, he would. He continued to follow me, now curious about where I was taking him.

        I turned onto an old backroad that led into the forest. The road was hardly visible so it was easy to pass up if you weren't looking for it. It led to a beautiful pond that was fed by a creek. The water was beautiful and clear completely untouched by humans. It was surrounded by trees and the waterfall on the far side across from us made the sight even more unworldly.

        "How do you like it? I found it about a month ago when patrolling."

        Bumblebee stared in awe the moment we both made it to the pond. He seemed speechless as he slowly transformed back and walked over to the edge of the pond, eyes wide as they gazed upon the water.

        "....I-Its..I..."

        He couldn't find the words for it, he just kept staring at the water, a small smile appearing on his face as all the stress seemed to slowly melt away.

        "I figured you needed to relax and this is the best place I could think of." I looked away from the water and back at him.

        Bumblebee finally managed to look away from the pond to look back at me. His optics held a gleam to them as the smile stayed on his face, he seemed thankful. 

        "I..Yeah.This is exactly what I needed...I can't believe a place like this even exists here..." He spoke, finally finding his voice. He walked closer and pulled me into a tight hug taking me by surprise. 

      He held me close wrapping his arms around my body almost holding too tightly. He let out a small sigh as he closed his eyes. I could feel how tense and wound up his body was, holding himself together at the base in front of the others had left him exhausted. 

        "Let's sit down and relax here for a while." I offered.

        Bumblebee silently nodded in response. Then laid down on his back, letting out a relieved sigh as he stretched out a bit in the grass. He patted the spot beside him, gesturing for me to come lay with him.

        I smiled and quickly joined him. "So do you wanna talk about it? If you don't I understand."

        He looked at me as I lay beside him, he reached out an arm and pulled me closer to him so I was pressed up against his side. He stayed quiet for a while, just staring up at the sky above.

        Finally, he let out a sigh "I have a lot on my mind, I don't think you even want to hear it." He mumbled, his eyes still looking up at the sky

        I looked up at him with a worried expression. "You know you can tell me anything. And I'll just keep it between you and me."

        Bumblebee hesitantly looked away from the sky and back down at me. His eyes slowly became softer as he saw the worry in my expression. He carefully rolled onto his side, facing me instead of the sky. He was quiet for a moment before he spoke, "...Sometimes it just gets too much, you know? Trying to keep everyone in line, keeping everyone from getting into trouble, keeping everyone safe... It's tiring, I feel like I'm failing.."

        "Oh Bee." I sigh. "You do so much for us and overwork yourself. You're not failing. You're new to this and you're still learning. Being a leader is hard, I could only imagine how hard it can be."

                Bumblebee slowly nodded as he tried to look anywhere other than my eyes, feeling a sense of shame and disappointment in himself for not doing better.

"Sometimes it doesn't feel that way, especially when it seems like everyone just keeps ignoring me. They don't take anything I say or do seriously.." His voice became bitter as memories of the others came to the forefront of his mind.

        "They're young, foolish, and a bit annoying at times. But, over time the team will get better I know it. And you always have me around to help."

        Bumblebee's optics slightly widened at my words, and a feeling of warmth spread through his chest as he looked down at you again. He reached out and placed a hand on my cheek, gently caressing it with his thumb.

        "I don't know what I would do without you...You're the only one who listens and I wish the others understood. How did I get so lucky to have someone so caring and understanding like you?"

        I blushed and looked away. "I-it's nothing, I just care about you is all," I said super awkwardly.

        Bumblebee chuckled when he noticed my obvious blushing, finding it cute how awkward I was in this situation. He moved his hand up to my chin and gently tilted my head to make me look him in the eyes, a small smirk on his face.

        "It's definitely not nothing. You're everything. But you're adorable when you're nervous, you know that?"

        "Stop, this isn't about me. We're here for you." I said changing the subject, but I was right.

        He smirked as he saw how flustered I got due to his words, he decided to drop the subject but he loved getting me flustered like that. He rolled back onto his back and wrapped an arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him.

        "Alright, alright. We don't have to talk about that...but there is another thing I wanna talk about if you're up for it.. " he said in a serious tone.

        "What is it?"

        Bumblebee's optics shifted away from me as his arm tightened around me, he was clearly nervous about what he was about to say. "It's about...how I feel about you, I guess. But I don't know if it's a good time to bring it up, I don't want to ruin anything, I just-"

        "...Just what?"

        Bumblebee's cheeks had a slight blue tint to them seeing my flushed expression unable to look me in the eyes.

        "I just... I have feelings for you- I have for a while now, but I felt unsure about whether it would actually be a good idea to say anything or not. I-I don't wanna ruin what we have-" He said in a low tone, his voice becoming more nervous the more he spoke.

        "I'm glad. I was worried mine were one-sided. I like you too Bee." I was barely able to get out.

        For a moment, Bumblebee's optics widened as he heard those words, a look of surprise on his face. "Wait...Really? You like me too? I didn't think this would happen, I thought it was one-sided-"

        "Y-yeah, I love ya Bee. I covered my mouth. "It's scary to actually say that out loud."

        A large smile appeared on Bumblebee's face and his optics shone brightly with happiness as he heard those 3 words. 

        "I love you too," He said, his voice softer and full of love as he spoke.

        My spark could just explode from joy. "You look better now that you're smiling. I missed it."

                Bumblebee chuckled as he heard me say that, he was still smiling, it was a smile that refused to go away anytime soon. He suddenly let out an amused hum, his smile turned into a smirk.

        "Oh, so you like my smile, do you?" He teased, his grip on me becoming a tad bit tighter.

        "Of course, I do Sweetspark."

        Bumblebee's smirk turned into a soft smile again at that cute nickname, he let out a small sigh of contentment. 

        "I like it when you call me that," He mumbled, "Sweetspark...Has a nice sound to it"

        "You'll definitely have to get used to it then."

        "Oh, I'll get used to it just fine, as long as you're the one saying it." He said, optics gently looking down at my lips.

        I leaned over and gently gave him what I knew he wanted. I gave him a gentle loving kiss.

        Bumblebee's hand slowly slid down to my waist to pull me closer. When I suddenly leaned forward and kissed him, his optics widened briefly before they slowly drifted shut. He let out a small sigh against my lips and slowly deepened the kiss.

        Once we pulled apart I prepped his neck and face with kisses. "I've wanted to do that for the longest time."

        Bumblebee chuckled at my cute gesture, letting out a hum of contentment as I peppered his face with kisses. His optics slowly fluttered closed once again as he tilted his head to the side to give me more access to his neck. He let out another soft sigh as my lips left a trail of gentle kisses on his neck.

        "Careful-" he mumbled, a hint of a teasing tone in his voice "-I might get addicted to this, you know."

        "I wouldn't mind that."

        "As much as I want this to continue, I think we should probably head back to base before the others get worried. As much as I want to keep you all to myself."

        "Fine. Since you can't stand being around me." I said sarcastically.

        "Don't make it sound like that, you know I enjoy being with you." He smirked as he gently tapped my nose with his finger as if he was trying to get a rise out of me.

        "I just like to play with you sometimes." I quickly gave him another kiss before standing up.

        Bumblebee rolled his optics but he didn’t mind this little back and forth between the two of you. He let out a sigh as I stood up and slowly sat up from the ground. A small smirk appeared on his face as he held a hand up to me.

        "Help me up will ya?"

        I squinted my eyes at him feeling he had something planned but I decided against it and gave him a hand.

        Bumblebee chuckled at the look I gave him, he could tell I knew something was up but decided not to question it and just helped him up. When I grabbed his hand, he quickly used the opportunity to pull me down onto his lap.

        "I figured you would do that."

        Bumblebee chuckled and wrapped an arm around my waist to keep me sitting in his lap, he looked at me with a teasing smile on his face. "And yet you still fell for it"

        "Because maybe I didn't mind it."

       "Mhm? You didn't mind, eh? So if I did this, you wouldn't mind that either right?" He teased, as he reached a hand up to my chin to tilt my head down closer to his face.

        "Aww, did you want another kiss before we left?"

        Your faces were so close, that the tips of your noses were almost touching. He chuckled, his optics looking down at my lips again before looking back into my eyes again

        "Yes, very much so. If you would give me another one."

        I quickly gave him a light almost fleeting kiss. "Now as much as I'd love to make out here in the woods by this beautiful pond, like you said we should probably head back."

        "Mhm, you’re right. We can continue this later back at base...if you want to, of course" He said with a playful wink. 

        "Alright, then let’s get going then. The longer we sit here, the longer we have to wait to continue this later" I said before I lightly punched his shoulder before standing up.

        I transforming transformed and revved my engine.

        "Wanna race back?" I asked playfully.

        "A race? Hm.. let's see if you can actually keep up with me"

        I quickly drove off leaving him in my smoke. "Let's see if you're right."

        Bumblebee let out an amused gasp as I suddenly took off, the smirk on his face widened into a cheeky grin. "Cheater!-" he yelled out, revving his engine again to speed up. He quickly gained speed and raced after me.

        I didn't let up and raced back to base. "You're gonna have to do better than that Sweetspark."

        Bumblebee huffed in annoyance at my words. He revved his engine once more and suddenly sped up, pulling up right beside me. 

        "Oh, you're going to get it when we get back to base, you know-"

        I'm glad he couldn't see my blush. "Uh-huh. We'll have to see."

        He was enjoying the banter as he kept up the speed to stay right beside me. "You're not gonna be saying that when I have you all to myself later," he teased, increasing speed easily pulling ahead of me.

        "B-bee." I wined in embarrassment and accidentally slowed down enough for him to pass me.

        Bumblebee noticed my small stutter and the fact that I had suddenly slowed down enough to let him pull ahead. "Oh? What’s the matter? Did that comment get you all embarrassed? Hm-"

        "Shut up." I stuttered out only adding to my embarrassment. I was happy we were close to base. But I tried to speed up and beat him to save myself some face.

        He noticed me trying to speed up and beat him to base, so he suddenly sped up as well to keep himself in front of me.

        "Ah ah! No chance!" He shouted back. He was enjoying every second of this, especially making me stutter from embarrassment.

        We reached base with Bee ahead of me at least a full car length. I drifted into base and transformed back gracefully but still blushing from him comments. Once he transformed back to bot mode, he leaned against the wall and looked at me. 

        "And you said you could keep up with me"

        "Well, better the most can." I shrugged.

        "Mhm, doesn't matter though. You still lost" He teased, a smirk still on his face as he gently grabbed my waist to pull me closer to him.

        "Guess we'll have to do it again another time and get a rematch." I leaned up and kissed his cheek since he was already so close.

        "A rematch sounds nice, I'm up for it whenever you are"

        I noticed the two younger bots and jumped a bit in embarrassment. Bumblebee was about to say something when he saw my sudden reaction and followed my gaze, he looked over to the side and saw both Strongarm and Sideswipe not too far from where we were. His optics widened for a moment and he realized they saw everything.

        I pulled away and cleaned myself off awkwardly. "H-hay guys."

        Sideswipe chuckled and crossed his arms "Well, what do we have here?-"

        He started but was quickly cut off by a smack to the back of his head by Strongarm "Sideswipe shut up" She said in a stern tone, before looking over to me and Bee.

        It was so awkward because the reason we left was because Bee was pissed off and now we're back all lovey-dovey out of nowhere.

        Sideswipe was still rubbing the back of his head to soothe the pain from the smack but still had a smirk on his face as he looked at us. "So, care to explain this?" He asked.

        "Um w-well me and Bee are kind of a thing now," I answered awkwardly hoping Bee could say it better. He was the leader after all.

        Sideswipe looked dumbfounded for a moment but that quickly turned into a teasing smile "A thing, huh?" he said in a slightly sarcastic tone

        Before Sideswipe could say anything else, Bumblebee spoke up. His face didn’t look pleased or amused but just blank, his expression showing annoyance. "Yes, we are a thing," he said bluntly, as he gave Sideswipe and Strongarm a small glare.

        It was clear that Bee was still upset with their earlier behavior.

        Sideswipe held his hands up in mock surrender but still had a smirk on his face. "Hey, no need to get all pissy, I was just curious," he said casually.

        Strongarm gave Sideswipe another glare and smacked the back of his head again, causing him to let out a small "Ow-" in response

        "You should learn to show some more respect Sideswipe. Bee works hard as our leader, more than you could understand." I said also annoyed with his attitude lately.

        Sideswipe rubbed the back of his head again he heard your words, and The smirk on his face slowly fell. Strongarm nodded in agreement with my words and turned to Sideswipe with a scolding look on her face. "Riley's right, Sideswipe. Bumblebee is still our leader, and you ought to start respecting him like one"

        "Both and Sideswipe get into annoying arguments all the time. You two need to find a way to work better today. Since we're a team we have to work together or it will never work." I didn't realize I was about to give out orders like this. I guess seeing Bee so upset got me riled up a bit.

        Both Sideswipe and Strongarm looked like they were in shock from my words. Sideswipe still had his hands up and a dumbfounded look on his face from scolded, while Strongarm stood stunned for a moment before her face shifted back to a more serious one and a small nod came from her.

        "You're right, I apologize. I'll try to do better" She said apologetically.

        "I know you two can do amazing things but you need to work on some things we all need to work on things," I said trying to make the atmosphere a little less tense. 

        Sideswipe's hands slowly lowered and he let out a small sigh as he regained his composure once more. He put his hands on his hips and looked at me with a slightly sheepish expression on his face.

        "Yeh.. I guess we both do have some things to work on" he said quietly.

        Strongarm nodded in agreement and looked down at her feet in shame. 

        "Thank you guys. That's all we can ask for." I smiled warmly.

         I looked back at Bee hoping I didn't make things worse or anything. "I'm sorry if I stepped out of line or anything. I know you're the leader and it's your job to talk to them but I just hoped I could help."

        Bumblebee looked at me with a softened expression when I turned back to him. He gave me a small smile before shaking his head "No no, it's alright. You didn't do anything wrong. You helped a lot more than you think. Thank you for doing that"

        I stepped closer. "Anything to help you out."

        "Thank you, I really appreciate it. You helped a lot more than I thought you could"He said with a small smile on his face. The smile soon turned into a hint of a smirk. "And it was pretty attractive seeing you tell off Sideswipe and Strongarm"

        "Oh those two, it's like dealing with sparklings."

        Bumblebee chuckled at my comment and nodded in agreement "Yeah, but they're a bit more difficult to deal with than actual sparklings"

        "Oh really, how's that?"

        "Well the usual, them arguing with each other all the time like they're trying to rile each other up, getting into trouble, causing unnecessary problems- the list goes on. It's a pain to deal with in the long run"

he explained.

        "I suppose you're right. But they're still learning. Once they mature a bit they'll be amazing teammates to work with. I can just see it now. And I have a feeling their bickering will turn into something else in the future."

        Bumblebee nodded in agreement once again and chuckled softly. He was enjoying this little moment as we talked about the other bots.

        "Yeah, it's just a matter of time. If their endless arguments and bickering don’t end up killing me first" He joked, referring to the endless arguments Sideswipe and Strongarm had.

        "Well, that won't happen with me around. Don't need you dying on me yet. I don't think I could work with those two alone, so you can't leave me yet."

       "Trust me, I have no plans to leave you alone. Besides, you're one of the main reasons I'm still sane around here" He said jokingly but with a genuine hint in his tone.

        "Well, you had to have at least one other adult on the team."

        "Yes, exactly. You’re like a breath of fresh air whenever everything becomes chaotic and annoying”

        I was glad to see him in a better mood than earlier this morning. "I do my best.

[elvesdragonsanddarkmagic]

Time to Let Go

Sappiness under the cut

I've had this doodle since the end of season 6 and only now finished it lol.

I'm glad to have had such an attachment to Viren of all characters in this amazing show. What started as an infatuation for Aaravos and dozens of rewatching his scenes throughout s1 and s2 turned into a growing interest towards the middle aged guy that just yelled at his own reflection. Then, I find myself answering for why I find Viren interesting much less straightforward (in a good way) than any other character. His arc was everything I've wanted it to be and I couldn't have asked for a better way for him to go, all things considered. Loving this character was a wild ride tho, being my first fav character who's not a protagonist. Loving Viren allowed me to look inward a lot and engage in some really difficult conversations (from my days of being active on reddit). And I've gotten to know a bunch of great people through our shared love for this disaster of a man.

Viren's truly gone in the TDP universe, but he lives on in my mind, in the fanfics I read or the AUs I imagine in my head bc I'm shit at writing. I'll miss seeing him in TDP, I'll miss making fun of him and generally using him like a punching bag when things were much less high stakes. I'll miss the content of him we'd get every now and then. I'll miss him dearly. Am I still delusional and holding onto hope that we'll get a prequel of some kind about his life growing up? Yeap :D Is that even anywhere near possible? I'm sure not lol

I'll continue to doodle him. I'd hate to stop seeing him and I'll always carry him, if not on paper/drawing screen, then in my heart.

Fly high, High Mage Viren of Katolis

[thewertsearch]

@necrowyrm asked: happy new year!!! enjoy the last little bit of homestuck before act 6! Anonymous asked: You have NO IDEA how much I was looking forward to your reaction to this flash :D @teddy-bearer-of-bad-news asked: a very late congratulations from me for making it this far! i gotta say, saving CASCADE for new year's is probably the smartest thing i've heard all week. may your experience be nothing short of righteous, comrade Anonymous asked: Cascade … Even years latter knowing it almost by heart, every once in a while I will take a little quarter of an hour to rewatch it, Say what you want about Hussie but there is a good reason Homestuck became so iconic. @adeptarcanist asked: The leadup to Cascade was honestly my favorite sequence in Homestuck, and maybe one of my favorites in any media ever? The way the narrative splits apart into all of the different scenes swirling in towards the critical moment, both advancing main plots and finding time to spend a moment of melancholy with characters who’d been left behind (The Jaspers and Nepeta scene :( )… it’s such a strong narrative device, and the tone it generates is impeccable. @calamitascalliope asked: I literally watched the flash again, and it still gives me chills every single time. Welcome to your post-Cascade life. You won't be able to think about anything the same ever again @iris-in-the-dark-world asked: "she looks so cool… but she’s so tragic… but she looks so cool…" has become a brainworm for me. i too love the handmaid's design btw, cascade time has been i think the most anticipated non-personal event of the entire year for me. i'm so excited @publicuniversalworstie asked: I want you to know that I also opened Cascade and started watching with you right after I saw your "oh my god it has chapters" ask, and I finished just as you posted "I will never be the same" !! And I bet lots of other people did too <3 so it's like we all watched it together!!!! Happy New Year and thank you for liveblogging!!!! It's been a pleasure！(and will continue to be) @krixwell asked: I would like you to know that your "Right, we're good to go!" and "oh my god it has chapters" posts were posted right as I was outside watching midnight fireworks ring in 2025 for the Central European timezone. Happy new year! @captorations asked:

hey remember when rose just up and fucking said that. anyway congrats on reaching cascade! it absolutely wrecked me back in the day, i think i stared at those flaming curtains for a solid ten minutes as my brain permanently reconfigured. the first few notes of the track alone still give shivers. getting your reaction to cascade was a wonderful birthday present. (speaking of getting older: aradia 🤝 dulcinea also got that "distressingly short lifespan only to die early anyway" story thread going on. the parallels are paralleling.) anyway happy new year and congrats you are… slightly less than halfway done with homestuck. have fun!

Hey, guys. Cascade was so fucking good.

Like, there's really no competition; this is the best Flash page in the comic thus far. Peak music, peak animation, and absolutely a peak narrative. It tied up mountains of plot threads, providing complete answer to questions we're been asking for literally thousands of pages. It completed over a dozen arcs, both big and small. It made me gasp three times in fourteen minutes. It let Jade become a furry.

11/10, and I'm glad people had as much fun here as I did on New Year's Eve. Happy 2025, and happy Act 6!

@morganwick asked: Sally, predicting Cascade: "I have approximate knowledge of many things." @morganwick asked: "You literally have the whole world in the palm of your hands." -Sally to Jadesprite, December 16, 2024 (You might also want to reread post/770701212350857216 in light of recent developments.)

Hah!

I mean, based on her powerset, it made sense that Jadesprite would do something like this eventually, but it's pretty funny that she did it more or less immediately.

And in the end, CD really was a tricky little bastard. We'll definitely need to keep a closer eye on him, next time around.

Anonymous asked: Take a moment to consider that if anyone were to use the Homestuck website as it stands now instead of the Collection program, Cascade would have been presented in the YouTube player in Standard Definition, artifacted to hell, with a clear boundary showing the dimensions of the video from the very start. Preservation is so important.

Jeez, you're not kidding. The 1080p is fine, I guess, but it certainly doesn't hit like the Flash version does, especially with its lack of moving panels.

I know something had to change when Flash kicked the bucket, but surely there was a better way to preserve the video's soul.

Anonymous asked: to give you some of an idea of what homestuck fandom looked like during this time period, im cribbing from a very popular homestuck post: “first, this upd8 was something that we had been waiting for for WEEKS. A literally unprecedented wait period at the time. We were used to suckling at the teat of daily updates, a constant stream of conversation and plot twists and buildup, and as EOA5, we were finally going to figure out what all these countdowns and plot threads and disconnected elements were building up for. And when the progress bar reached 100%, and when the page FINALLY loaded on 10/25/11, it was chaos. This was 2011, a primetime peak point and growth period of Homestuck fan density.” (…) “MSPA crashed, as it had started to during the last few big [S] updates. Hussie had already bought new servers in advance, but even when allegedly thousands of dollars were spent it couldn't handle the accidental DDOS attack of Homestuck fans. People were up all night waiting for this upd8, the curiosity was killing me. I know at some point he was receiving at least 1 million unique visitors per day to his site [correction: according to Hussie’s tumblr, upwards of 2 million during this time], and even though Hussie had foreseen such traffic and thusly hosted [S] Cascade on Newgrounds, a dedicated video streaming site, Newgrounds was similarly unprepared for the sheer amount of people frantically mashing the play and refresh buttons, and also crashed. Immediately. MSPA and Newgrounds crashed definitively for at least two nights in a row” (…) “Andrew Hussie has gone on record to say this was one of the few times he thought Homestuck wasn’t worth it, because the sheer unbelievable cost (was it $10,000?) [correction: according to Hussie’s tumblr, it looked like it was going to cost $100,000 to keep [S] Cascade up for several days] of servers and the chaos of no one able to see the upd8 and crashing nearly every site after. He was tweeting during the whole debacle, stating he was reluctant to put it up on Youtube because of all the moving elements of the flash, and style, and how youtube degraded the quality of the file size, and how he tried to scratch out buffer time and pauses by putting periods of silence between each section of the 14 minute upd8, the longest upd8 yet” “So after Newgrounds patooted, he didn’t put it on youtube and instead put up the entire flash file on Megaupload, where it could be downloaded in it’s entirety to be watched. UNFORTUNATELY, Megaupload also crashed very quickly, which Hussie felt much headache over. But before that happened I managed to get the file, since I happened to be up very early that night! Next it was on dropbox, which didn’t crash but had “link unavailable” on and off. ”Spoilers were flying everywhere, people didn’t understand everything that had happened, and by the time the timeline of events in and out of [S] Cascade was all straightened out, people became even MORE hype. Like this whole thing lasted at least four days, and on top of that, the upd8 was good. Fandom exploded.” it is impossible to quantify the experience. The fact hussie was going to have to fork over A HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS to host it is crazy. I am never going to be over it.

Cascade's complete obliteration of the Flash-hosting internet says a lot about huge Homestuck truly was - but I think an even bigger indicator of the comic's success is the fact that Hussie dropped literally thousands of dollars on server upgrades to host the thing. That's not an investment you make unless you're expecting some serious returns.

[watchinglikeafangirl]

Why I stayed for FadelStyle

I know, many of us started Heart Killers because of FirstKhao but actually stayed for JoongDunk. I wasn't invested in JoongDunk before, I watched "star in my mind" and of course "hidden agenda". I liked them in "hidden agenda" but something about FirstKhao feels different. They have a different vibe on camera, so I was excited to see them again. And yes, I was very pleasantly surprised to see JoongDunk as well, because I didn't think they would star in a show as mature as this one. But I'm very glad they did.

Fadel and Style's romance feels somewhat natural. Dunk playing a very loud and flirty character really suits him and Joong playing a character who is flustered by him all the time is just a very good match.

The most interesting thing is, I didn't buy Fadel and Style's romance until episode 6.

While Kant and Bison seem to be falling fast while leaving a bitter taste, Fadel and Style fall at their own pace and make each other better. The difference is, Kant and Bison are the same characters from start to finish, the only difference is they are boyfriends in the end. I don't see much growth or change in them. Kant starts this whole relationship under false intentions and there isn't a specific moment when it's shown he really fell for Bison. Not until Bison gets stabbed and then they are on that island and suddenly there are deep love confessions. It's like they skipped all the steps and just landed at the very end. And it's not just Kant, we don't know when Bison actually fell for Kant. Because Bison seems to love the idea of Kant and what Kant stands for. For Bison, Kant is freedom, a fresh start, but when did Bison actually develop feelings that go much further and deeper than that? We don't see it, there is not a moment when I knew.

Episode 6 is my favourite episode, I think it's the best one. The plot is there, the pacing is exactly right, the characters and their relationships get more depth. It marks the moment I realized Fadel fell hard and Style lives on cloud nine. There is a specific scene, I could rewatch it over and over because it is soo good. The thing with Fadel and Style is, they change each other for the better. They are not the same people in episode 12, they both found completion, they found inner peace with themselves. And it's all there when Fadel and Style go out to this metal concert to have fun for the last time. Before shit goes down, before Style wants Fadel to stay over, before Fadel cries. It's when Style convinces Fadel to put on some make-up as well.

"Try just being someone you want to be. We'll do it together. There's nothing to be afraid of."

Because even if Style wouldn't know about Fadel, this scene in itself means so much. And Fadel's look when Style says those words... He found someone who accepts him, everything, and he is not judged, Style is not scared, he embraces their love. I was on the verge of tears. It's a very genuine and sincere scene. That's when I knew, Style was really all in and there was no way back for him.

And of course, we can't talk about FadelStyle without mentioning the dance in the burger joint. Because that is when everybody could see how deep Fadel fell, how lost he felt when he found out it was a lie. He didn't have anything to lose any more because it already felt like dying. So he confesses and cries in silence so Style wouldn't know. I talked about this scene in depth, right here. It's when I knew there is no going back to how things were.

In episode 8, there is a very confusing scene - the editing is weird. It's when Fadel and Style sleep at the motel and Style starts crying. Because this scene is not quiet in any second, there's some comedic background music when Style starts talking, as if he's fake crying. But the things he says are very true. And then the music shifts to some sad piano and he starts crying for real. It's like, did he try to cover up his sadness with humour until he actually cried? It would make sense for his characters but the editing is so weird.

"Are you crying?"

The way Fadel asks so softly. It's the moment we really know, he will never kill Style. Until this point, I wasn't 100% sure but after he showed his concern, I was no longer afraid of some tragedy.

The scene I felt deeply and a scene that still lingers in my head. The song I keep listening to. It's episode 10. Of course it is. But honestly, I can't stress this enough. Fadel and Style have reached a point in their relationship that goes far deeper than a love confession. Because Fadel shows emotions he doesn't even show to himself. It's his darkest moment, his most pathetic feeling, his ugliest cry. But Style stays with him, because of course he does. Style doesn't say "I love you" very often because it's not something that needs to be said all the time. He just shows everything. He holds Fadel, he reassures him, he stays. And Fadel cries on his lap. It's worth more than any words. And it's why I could no longer root for Kant and Bison. Because they keep saying they love each other while there is no depth. Kant just tries to make a fire to make food but that's no deep connection. That's just childish and doesn't mean anything when it comes to their relationship. It's like the writers missed opportunities, we never get to see Kant and Bison bond. Do they ever talk about things that matter? About how they felt? They talk about grief for 10 seconds but that's it They are just together and they love each other, just because. Because the story needs them to. While Fadel and Style actually share emotions, they matter to each other, they try to live with each other.

Let me tell you, I am obsessed with the way Fadel becomes physically attatched to Style after episode 10. He hugs and sniffs Style like five times after that and I am living for it. It's the most relatable and lovely guesture.

Soooo, let's talk episode 12 because if somebody would ever do something for me like that, I'm gonna cry, faint, laugh, die - I don't know. Because what do you mean Style bought Fadel's burger joint back? What do you mean it's now their restaurant? What do you mean he already planned their future together? No one can put into words how much this guesture means. It's overwhelmingly a lot of love. It's just kinda funny to me how Fadel handles it because he doesn't seem to be THAT surprised. I was shocked, words mean nothing, it's just so much. I want to find a love like that.

I always thought Style saved Fadel but now I think, they just saved each other. Because even if Style is the one who did that grand guesture and even if Style is the one who started to initiate most moments, he was lost too. They made each other less lonely. They have a grave together. Their story is epic.

I recommend this video. It sums up why FadelStyle felt more real and why everyone rooted for them instead of KantBison.

[danmeicoffeecat]

I just finished rewatching all the 4 seasons of ST with my mom.

SHE ALSO AGREED THAT BYLER IS GONNA END UP TOGETHER NEXT SEASON!!

my mom's input on the St:

1.mike admires el

2.mike and el's relationship is just fleeting teenage romance

3."they confirmed will's feelings in s4, so they will confirm mike's in the next season"

4."i feel like el is going back, like she going to disappear after all the events"

5."the two couples, at either sides of mike and will, were holding hands" [EDIT]

(i will add more if i remember or come across any inputs)

she was convinced on byler just from the final scene.

"Oh, they all are going to be the three teams next season, right."

i'm actually so impressed y'all, she doesn't even follow the ST5 leaks or updates( ﾉ ﾟｰﾟ)ﾉ

[katz-rambles]

hello! proud member of the arcane fandom here, can confirm we are alive and well ! may i suggest a little something with ekko and a gn (or masc) reader? perhaps comforting ekko after the bridge incident of episode 7- thank you ! and take care <3

Yess! I js finished rewatching Arcane today, and the bridge scene is still one of my favorite fight scenes! Take care, as well, Anon!!

1k words, so it's a little on the short side.

(fluff, gn!reader, reader has some medical knowledge (but I don't, so I apologize if this is inaccurate), Ekko's a tease, illusions to sex but nothing actually happens.)

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰

It's safe to say that the day didn't go as planned for either of you. You're waiting at home, pacing around the room. You had a bad feeling about the whole ‘going to topside’ thing Ekko told you about. It's the day after, and there's still no sign of him. Even Scar hasn't heard from him. All your mind does is go to the worst. Could the enforcers have killed him, you don't know, and you're not sure if you'd want to know.

You were hoping that by the time you woke up, he would be there. You spend the whole morning pacing and panicking. You try to take your mind off it by getting out and seeing some of the other firelights.

It works. Talking with them and then playing with a couple of the kids helps. I'm mainly playing with the kids, though. It's fun. They convince you to play house with them, and one of them hands you a little doll. It reminds you of your childhood, and it makes you happy knowing that they get to have a somewhat normal childhood.

There's suddenly a lot of voices and clamoring when the entrance opens. So you go and check it out, it can't hurt to. You have to ,gently, push past some of the small crowd to get to see what's actually going on. “Hey, sweetheart,” Ekko groans and stumbles, and you're quick to wrap your arm around him to help stabilse him. When you look down, you're met with an odd sight. You can check having a councilor inside the fireflights base now. He clings to your side and lets you help him get up into your shared room so you can assess the damage.

You let him sit down on the bed, and he sighs, resting his head back on the headboard. You scan him for any big injuries. There's one that catches your eye, a bleeding wound across his stomach. “It wasn't supposed to go this way,” he starts, helping you lift up his shirt so you have access to the wound and the continuing, “it was just supposed to be, I go across with Vi and the other girl. Give them the stone, and then everything would be better. But no.” He winces when you pat some of the alcohol down on it, cleaning it so you can stitch him up. “I know, I'm sorry.” You sigh and press your free hand on his cheek. One of his hands covers yours, and he leans into your touch.

“This is going to hurt like a bitch, you know.” You warn him and grab a pair of tweezers when you notice the small pieces of metal lodged inside the wound. He lets out a shaky breath and nods, one hand grabbing onto the sheets of the bed. You can hear him wincing and groaning when you start to grab the metal, slowly pulling it out, trying not to hurt him too much. You drop the metal on the nightstand and stand up to grab the stapler. You dab some of the numbing cream around the wound in hopes that it won't hurt too bad when you close it. While you wait for it to kick in, you get on your knees and take a look at his ankle.

“It's not broken. Nothing a splint won't be able to fix.” You say as you feel his ankle for swelling or a broken bone. You grab the wooden splints from the nightstand, glad you grabbed them just in case, and place them on either side, securing them in place with a nice layer of bandages. You grab the stapler and Ekko groans in protest, “oh fuck, is that part really necessary?” You scoff and shrug. “I could just knock you out and do it,” You offer, pulling out a vial of anesthetic from the kit. You laugh when he stares at you like you just grew another head, “besides, I've already numbed the area, so this is the best it's going to be.” You say and press the stapler to his skin, internally wincing every time the sounds of it goes off and Ekko moans and groans with each staple. You thank whoever's listening that you didn't have to do too many staples. You don't think you could handle any more of hearing him in pain before you gave in and actually knocked him out.

“There.. all done.” You smile at him and rub the side of his leg. He nods, and you grab the bandages, wrapping it before you go and grab a new shirt for him to put on and take the old one. “Come here, please?” He asks and grabs your hand, pulling you towards the bed. Who are you to deny him, so you give in and crawl into the bed beside him, careful of his injuries, and lay your head on his shoulder. “Thank you,” he mumbles and kisses your cheek, leaving smaller pecks on your nose and forehead before he kisses your lips, “what would I do without you?” He mumbles against your lips, and you laugh. “I don't know.. staple yourself and probably miss.” You tease, and he scoffs, giving you a glare before he kisses you again. You're just glad he made it home in one piece, and so is he.

“I guess this means I'm on bed rest for a bit, huh?” He mumbles, and you roll your eyes. “When have you ever complained about bed rest?” You scowl, and he laughs, a real laugh, not a fake one to make someone happy, a real one. You kiss him again, and he rests his hands on your waist and pulls you closer to him, his hands going lower until they rest on the curve of your hips and you smack his hands away. “What part of bed rest did you not understand?” You groan and push yourself back, hearing him laugh and rest his head on your chest. Finally resting. You're glad he's here.

[somedayillbepeterpan]

I made a post about a side by side of Pen and Colin's first and last dance (so far) from S1 and S3 and now I'm drowning in the feels of it.

LOOK AT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THESE TWO LAST SHOTS

S1E1 - Vauxhall ball dance

Them being such babies. Them jumping around, utterly caught by the energy of the dance. This is the first dance that Pen ever has after she's come out in society and I want to say that this is the first time that she's actually seen Colin as a man after he "rescued her". This is when the rose-coloured tinted glasses are shining brightly on her face as she looks at this boy she grew up with dancing with her in public, laughing and holding her in his arms. This is the first time she was held by another man in her life (I don't think her dad was ever affectionate towards her). Her first physical encounter with a man and it's with Colin no less (Colin really is first in everything where Penelope is concerned).

Even though there is a closeness between her and Colin already at this time, there is always Eloise in the middle. We think that Eloise being away in S3 gave them a chance to be alone together but Pen's 1st season out in society actually also gave the first chance of being alone with Colin (and then Marina came and ruined it all).

I also want to note that Pen is utterly cute in this scene. Ladies aren't supposed to wear their hair out the way Pen has it here. This alone should have told us that she is a rebel but also of how invisible she is.

Last thing to note (and this maybe just because of editing or this very beautiful but challenging height difference these two have blocking wise) is that we don't really see their faces clearly (I checked the actual video and it really is shot like that). We're only meant to feel the amusement these two have over this brief dance and I'm sure Pen went home on Cloud 9, thinking about this dance over and over.

It was her first romantic core memory.

Now we go to this scene:

S3E8 - Dankworth - Finch ball dance (Butterfly dance)

I have so many feelings about this dance. Firstly, their hand size difference!

Their smiles! Them overcoming such a huge obstacle! Colin just blasting every other love confession I've seen on this show! Them accepting each other fully, finally seeing each other for who they are. Them now ready to fully embrace their married life. I could go on and on and I will.

Both looking so ridiculously happy in this slow, intimate dance. Both looking so sexy and powerful, showing their acceptance of their maturity. It took them a while and a whole angsty journey but watching them take each step towards each other spoke to my heart and soul deeply. Their smiles in this dance was such a treat after being subjected to heartbreak.

In comparison with the shot in S1E1, we see both from their heads to their body (heart) but behind other dancers. I'm just thinking that this is the director saying this now will be your POV of Pen and Colin-- at the start of living their lives openly.

(I'm feeling sleepy now but I want to finish this)

It is so rewarding to see the journey that Pen and Colin goes through. I've been rewatching all 3 seasons and catching the growth between these two is so fascinating. The parallels, the clues, the subtle performances that Nic and Luke have been presenting on the table since S1. All so overwhelming at times at how privileged I feel to see their story laid out so beautifully.

What a gift Pen and Colin's love story is. I love their love and I'll stay here just for a little bit.

[willows-writings]

‼️This post is part of a choose your own adventure series and is not meant to be read stand-alone. Click HERE to go to the masterlist and Chapter beginnings‼️

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Go to sleep

Prologue

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

"Sammy" With your free hand you lightly hit the girl supporting you "Sammy, I'm tireddd."

Sam lets out a sigh and starts to drag you away. "Bye guys, I hope you make the right decision."

You close your eyes and lean againist Sam trusting her to take you somewhere as the world spins beneath your eyelids. By the time you open then again you are in a room lit by a fire that you can see Beth standing by and a couch in front of it that holds your boyfriend.

"Joshhhh" you break off from Sam and stumble to the couch, nearly tripping over the edge of it before flopping down on top of the man already laying there.

"Y/n babyyy my gorgeous amazing other half." His words were also slurred and his arms clumsily come up to curl around you tightly as he buries his face in your hair. You giggle and turn your face towards the fire to find Beth looking at the two of you fondly.

"Hiii Elizabeth, Bethy, my lovely friend." You reach the hand closest out to her and she takes it and gives it a little squeeze.

"Hi y/n. Partied hard?" She's smiling in a way that says she's already taken pictures of the scene to use as blackmail later on.

"Ugh yes, and just give me like thirty minutes and I will be ready to party again." As you say this your eyes drift further closed and you feel yourself relaxing more and more into Josh.

"Mhm sure." She snorts and lets go of your hand which you wrap around Josh. "Sleep well y/n, we can party tomorrow night."

You hum contently and close your eyes. You nestle your face into the crook of Josh's neck and settle further into your comfy human pillow. Between the heat of your boyfriend and the fire, you find yourself drifting off to sleep to the quiet crackle of wood, and breathing of Josh in minutes.

ʚїɞ

The way you wake up isn't quiet.

Instead of soft fire glow it's harsh red and blue lights. Instead of soft breathing it's loud voices and the crackle of walkie-talkies.

Those sounds stay for weeks until suddenly it's quiet. Quiet as in feelings of regret and grief. Quiet as in sobbing over a closed case and two graves.

You think you prefer the sirens.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

End of Prologue

Chapter 1

OBaC Masterlist

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Prologue is finished! Sorry if this isn't accurate to how you personally would act drunk. Featuring a little fluffy moment with Josh and Beth before the bad stuff. :( Did all the talk of seeing Hannah and Beth later make you sad hehe. I felt evil putting that in. The other options just had a bit more dialogue between reader and the group, feel free to go back and read it!

Anyways I'm putting the text for the beginning of Chapter 1 below but I need to rewatch some of the game first so I can write everything accurately. It will be linked when it's done which will most likely be later this week or early next week! As always likes, reblogs and comments are appriciated!

[0daylighthours0]

A Deep Dive into Milkvan and Byler's Development: If Milkvan Was Endgame All Along, Why Was it Written Like This???

SO. I've been rewatching st with my mother, who's never seen it before. And she was a fan of milkvan throughout seasons 1 and 2. Viewing those seasons again I could see why, they're cute. However, come season 3 and INSTANT distaste. And, listen, my mother is not the consciously shipping gal. She simply routes for main character pairings as writers intend, doesn't read between the lines, doesn't nothing. And she does NOT know my own opinions on the pairing. In other words, completely unbiased, uninternet drama influenced eyes. We've now reached season 3 and, after getting through a chunk of it, I asked her,

"so what do you think of Mike and El?"

and she expressed to me that they seem to be, quote:

"not very good together."

She said El's character doesn't suit the way she's acting now (in the first few episodes, concerning Mike), that Mike is more likeable and interesting when he's away from her. She doesn't like the way they ditched the party, and when it comes to their 'making out' the scenes are seen by her from Hopper's perspective (in other words, distasteful). She claimed that they'd be much better characters as friends.

And ya know what, she's right. And I mean like - duh, that's what we've been saying all this time, I'm not stating anything new here. But guys, wouldn't it be strange if the central couple of the show, pivotal that it is liked by audiences and is rooted for by them as they are THE pair, would be so dislikable like this? So uninteresting, so cliche.

I mean, okay, let's do a little mental experiment I like to do to test if I'm not just acting delulu. Let's play a game. In this game, milkvan ARE meant to be endgame. They are in love, they were all along, and they're here to draw in viewers and appease all El stans. Now, seasons 1 and 2 their relationship is honestly fine. Surface level, yeah, people will watch and appreciate them. They perfectly blend in with all the other neat pairings of the seasons, and have their own unique character traits to stand out as a main couple.

Just pretending our mate Will doesn't exist, we now get into season 3. Now, writers have nothing to lose here. If you've finished season 2, you probably like milkvan already. The issue is that they're already together now, so what's the conflict going to be? The arc? And every central couple needs that conflict to stay juicy.

Just take a look:

Jancy: quarrels, struggle to understand one another

Jopper: not yet together, one sided? will they won't they

Lumax: ...

Lumax? Lumax. Huh, guess they were simply together. Some loveable bickering, maintained a friendly dynamic while clearly in closer proximity. Well then, writers can do the same for milkvan right? Well, yes easily. But one might argue that since they are supposed to be THE pairing they need more going on between them than that. So what'll it be? Well, it seems that writers thought,

"hey, why not break them up?"

ok so.. that's a bit risky. I mean you want people to like this ship, if you break them up then that threats: 1. there being a disliking to one or both characters, 2. coming off generic if done incorrectly, 3. the break up might make no sense considering how in love they came off as just a season ago. But hey.. it could work, if done right. Some kind of misunderstanding, similar to Jancy. Maybe an argument leading to a sudden parting. I mean, yeah, Yeah! I can see that. Perhaps Mike is being too overprotective whilst El's trying to sacrifice herself for something, so she NEEDS to separate herself from him attempting to hurt him less. Or, I dunno, something akin. What's crucial is that us, AS THE AUDIENCE, still know them to be deeply in love. I mean, we have to still want them to be together. And we've seen couple trouble before. Just take a look at Lumax season 4 - did you or did you not want the best for both of them as a pair? You most likely did. See, it's doable. So did people like milkvan season 3 the same way, even after a separation plot? No.

Okay well, there are obviously those who'll always love milkvan no matter but, see, season 3 tainted it. "We need to write them like this cause it's more realistic to teenager behavior" my ars. You can make it messy without making it icky. Not only did it sour their unique dynamic, it flabbergastingly stomped on Mike as a character.

Honestly, I feel Mike has always been a mild struggle to write. Season 1 his motivations were 'find Will' (who still doesn't exist in our mind game yet shh) and 'protect El'. This worked well for him. Afterwards though, El and Will became more separate plots to him. But as a main character it remained integral that he be closely linked to them somehow. This sets him apart from Lucas and Dustin, who can easily be given any arc any season as their plots have the flexibility of a side quest nature. Since what Mike does is meant to matter more - with there probably being a better way of phrasing that but you know what I mean - it's harder knowing what he'll do when El and Will (who we'll GET to sh.) are their own separate people. And Mike is just a boy, he doesn't have super powers and he isn't a cop, which leaves there even less for him to do which is of significance. Season 2 writers decided upon having him support Will's arc, making himself of enough relevance by being able to take credit for some Will development in the story, and the plots that surrounded that, and then Mike was thrown a little bone by being the one to come up with the idea of burning those vines in the finale.

Truthfully, you don't really remember Mike's deeds much when reminiscing the series. It isn't like Dustin who's bond with Dart sticks to everyone, or Nancy and Jonathan responsible for kicking out Hawkins Lab. This is due to them, again, being able to traverse all sorts of adventures without limits. But my guy Mike can't do dat. Sadly, this kind of leads to him coming of as a little.. well... insignificant. And I know I know, the Mike truthers are gonna come at my throat. And hey! I love him too. I only want the best for my boy.

This makes season 3 a unique case cause it seems that, for the plot they decided they wanted, writers actually had to almost entirely change his character. I mean mate s2 Mike and s3 Mike are two different peoples, don't even. And I don't believe that the Duffers had their story and character turnouts completely drawn out from the very start at all. If I was to guess, I'd assume they have vague ideas of little plots they plan to include in future, but there is definitely a lot that has come unpredicted or changed throughout st's runtime. And one of those phenomenons are Michael Wheeler. So they decided to make this guy a di-

So they decided to make him more douchy, more movie typical teenage guy. It's not as if he wholly sucked, he didn't, but he didn't really do much. Whined about his girlfriend, separated the party. I mean what even was his arc? (UnLESS–)

You see, if milkvan is written to be loved, then season 3 was strike one. All of its charm was stripped away. It seems they had some cute scenes after their reconciliation, but it's not enough. It's just sort of

"oh, ok, so they're happy with eachother now. yayy."

and Stranger Things should want to be anything but boring. Sure they often enjoy indulging in tropes, but they always do something different with them. Something standoutish. And from this point on milkvan just got dull. Either writers ran out of ideas or lost interest, honestly (still with our mind game of telling ourselves they're meant to be).

But it's okay. Look, so season 3 was a bit rocky, maybe lost a couple of fans for the guys, but it is salvageable. Easily, easily. Looks like we want a plot of Mike struggling to tell El he loves her. Great! Much to work with.

So let's get into it. Season 4! Choices were... made. And, okay, now we can't go any further without bringing in our boy Will.

Mike is intrinsically tied to Will and El and has been from the start. Maybe Will was more of an accident. Maybe s1 Will was just a plot device for Mike, then s2 Will was a plot device again and Mike needed to be there as the main boy character. Come season 3 and it seems their relationship still matters. Will was sidelined - hard - so most of Mike's moments revolved around El. But as his bond with Mike is the only that's been properly built up, that's the only friend we'll get him interacting with in a way that matters. So the Mike and Will tie continues!

But that does not have to be the case for season 4. Now the writers have a chance.

They made Will gay.

Ok so.. ok so yeah that's fine. Yeah! I mean they didn't have to do that, might put them in hot water with the bylers since milkvan is their golden beauty but.. you know what no no that's okay. He's been hinted at being queer since episode 1, why not make it canon! Cool that works. Explore that, especially since we now have Vecna who can easily target Will for this. Give him a boyfriend! Or a guy crush. He's at a new school now? That's cool. Maybe we can explore some new male character Will's taken interest in. Hey maybe he meets someone who interests him which rises to surface his whole sexuality plot and-

he's in love with Mike.

Ok. No. No. What are you doing? What do you mean?? You didn't have to do that. Strike- strike EFING TWO mates! Strike. 👏 efing. 👏 2!

This was part 1. I am tired and gots to get my ars in bed. But ohohoh, do not worry. I am just getting started.

[webslingingslasher]

i was thinking about how boyfriend!frat peter would swing his way back to trouble and like thinking if she needs something or what she was doing all the time he was on patrol like

"has she seen the episode we didn't get to finish?"

"nah, she wouldn't... right?"

"i hope she forgot bout it"

"i think she ran out of toilet paper"

"gonna be so mad if she saw that episode without me"

kinda messy in a peter way but he likes to find himself thinking about her after being spiderman because sets him down to earth again <3

the second peter had his hand on your window, your laptop slammed shut. you were sitting a little too straight up, your hands in plain sight.

'were you watching porn?' you sputter, the idea making your chest feel warm. 'no! i was just looking at stuff.' peter's eyebrow quirks, 'porn stuff?'

'no!' your eyes flash around the room, it's a guilty look. 'oh, c'mon, it can't be that bad. what kind of stuff are you into?' peter swears he's joking, but when he playfully reaches for your computer you flatten yourself on top of it.

'holy shit, it really is porn.'

'it's not porn! it's... it's... for you. yeah, it's for you and it's a surprise!' your boyfriend blinks, 'you have to believe the lie to sell it, trouble.'

you couldn't be caught, peter would never forgive you.

'you got me at a bad time, you were supposed to call me on your way over.'

'did you miss me that bad? you had to pregame my arrival?' you huff, sitting up and fixing your hair, you don't realize how close your boyfriend got.

'i wasn't doing that!'

'you were about to.'

'no!'

peter's having way too much fun, 'then what were you doing?'

'i already told you, nothing!'

peter's quick, he grabs your laptop but not before you catch the other side. a gentle game of tug and war. 'i'm gonna look.' you tug, it's useless, peter could rip it from your grasp in a second.

'no! not allowed!'

'then tell me what you're hiding.'

'no!' you screech louder when he takes total ownership of the machine. guilt washes over you, you've been caught red handed. the only solution was looking at your knees.

your boyfriend gasps in horror at the screen, it sounds like how you knew he'd feel about it.

'i'm sorry, peter. you were never supposed to find out.'

'how could you do this to me? to us?'

you can't even make eye contact. 'i know, i'm sorry.'

it's like it chokes him to say, 'how long has this been going on?' you look up at him, if you plead he may accept your apology.

'not long, i promise! it was just today.... and maybe last week. but i swear i'll never do it again.'

'this hurts, trouble. this really hurts me.'

sure, maybe you did betray his trust a little. but he's the one that got you hooked in the first place, he can't push all the blame on you.

'but you've already seen it! and i really wanted to see the next episode and you weren't here and i figured it would be okay... but that was four episodes ago.'

'fine. but you need to keep me updated, because the only reason i'm rewatching it is so i can experience it with you.'

a subtle confession, something you weren't supposed to take to heart, but you did. the whole reason peter got you watching was so he could relive all his favorite parts, but with you.

you pout, peter pushes your computer back in your hands and points at your bottom lip. 'no. you dug your grave, you don't get to be sad that i'm sad.'

'but i'm really sorry.'

'sorry you got caught.'

'no! i'll never watch it without you, i promise.' except you were in the middle of a very juicy scene and you're itching to press play. peter can read you like a book.

'you wanna do it right now, don't you?'

'no.' ..... 'yes.' ..... 'but i won't.'

'god gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers.'

peter doesn't understand the restraint you're showing. 'you stink, go take a shower.'

'promise you won't keep watching?'

it's hard, but you can do it for him.

'promise.' 

[truuskn]

finished rewatching wfc, here's a bunch of my random thoughts about elita (part 1)

more than anything in the world elita feared that one day if optimus will continue his journey in this way she would have to bury him. well, fate had decided to play a trick on her. she died first. she had to be buried first. prime's spark had to endure the unbearable pain of knowing what does it feel like when you and your soulmate are separated forever. she, in a way, successfully escaped from her greatest nightmare (although... actually elita believed the arc crew had died... so... she died with the thought that optimus was already dead! wow! double angst! thanks, just the way i like it)

she switches so quickly, almost immediately cuts off her phrase and changes the topic of conversation. they talked about it thousand times - she realized a long time ago that she will never be able to get through to him... the only thing she can do is just accept the inevitable and pray for primus' favour

op: what are you trying to say, elita?

elita: GO CHECK YOUR STUPID HEAD!!!

op: i can't! our show doesn't have the rights to rung. he's the only psychologist in the tf universe

elita: FUCK

ohhh, i'm going to blow up from these parallels. peak oplita. eh, if only the show was well written

i love how at the same time optimus is elita's main hope and her main grief. he greatly inspires her and greatly disappoints her at the same time. she longs to follow him, but she also longs for him to open his eyes and choose a different path. she hates how blindly he goes after what he thinks is right, disregarding her worries and disagreements, but she admires how even in the darkest of times he doesn't abandon his cause, his desperate desire to save everyone and foolish faith in a better outcome. she wants to be with him, but chooses to leave him... wow. wow

as someone who's main favs are elita and prowl, i was immensely pleased with the 2,5 scenes these two had together, haha

optimus: *says anything*

these two: *look at him with fear in their eyes, waiting for another ridiculous stupid ass thing he'll about to say this time*

optimus: *does anything*

these two: *LOUD, TIRED SIGH*

the one who is most trustworthy and most needed by the current prime inherits alpha trion protocols.... and it's bumblebee?? NOT elita-one?? really??? if this magical shit didn't know in advance that she's going to die soon then i don't understand how and why it turned out to be so. is... is elita-one not enough... for op...

i'm truly amazed at how elita didn't give up after all the horrible things that happened to them. in this show everything goes wrong. always. everything goes fucked up, destinies fall apart overnight, nothing ever works, it gets worse and worse day by day. but elita still keeps going. no matter what. and unlike optimus she puts aside self-doubt and self-pity. her goal comes first. autobots. fighting. no time for anything else. even if she wants to cry and scream and forget it all - no, never. not her. i just... oh, i wish this show had a better script, this elita was so good, but, nope, nope, no time for a really interesting story, let's better watch op whine about allspark for 20 times per episode

1s6e/2s6e <33 🥰💖🌚💐🌟