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desperate-gay · 2 days ago

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Kristie mewis x reader panic attack or maybe a little relapse with reader and Kristie is there as her girlfriend .

Safe With You

Kristie Mewis x fem!reader

summary: during a girls’ night out, you encounter someone you never thought you’d see again, triggering a panic attack. Your best friend Kristie helps you through it and later helps reveal true feelings

“Ooo, this one right here!” Kelley yells, pointing out the downtown club. Some of the gotham girls, along with you, decided it was a beautiful night out and since you didn’t have any responsibilities the next day, it was a perfect time to go out.

“How many more do you think we’re gonna go to?” You ask, leaning over to Kristie’s ear so no other pondering friends can listen in.

“Let’s hope this will be the last.” Kristie huffs, wrapping her arm around your shoulder and dragging you along with the group.

None of the girls are drunk but most are definitely tipsy. You have only had about two and a half drinks within the past couple of hours, so you’re not feeling any effects while Kristie has only had three.

Kelley is the most drunk out of everyone, even the younglings, and when Kelley is drunk, she never wants to stop partying. Many of the girls are not protesting considering this is the first free day they have had in weeks, especially Ali with having to take care of her kids.

The group finds a table somewhat in the corner of the bar, and a few of the girls go to the bar to order drinks. Kristie and you both sit on the high-top chairs across from Midge and Jenna. Kristie and Midge are in a heated discussion on what’s the best way to style and take care of your eyebrows while you and Jenna watch them with amused smiles.

Suddenly, a prickling at the back of your neck makes you turn around and flit your gaze nervously across the crowded room, almost as if a sudden fog made its way into the bar. As much as you look, you can’t seem to find anything out of the ordinary.

Relief washes over your face when Lynn arrives with hands full of drinks, sparking cheers around the table. Sure you haven’t drank much yet, but that just gives you reason to drink more now. Once you get a hold of your drink, you begin to take multiple large gulps, shocking the girls around you.

“Damn girl, the drink isn’t going anywhere.” Lynn teases while the other girls laugh along.

Kristie just stares at you in bewilderment, not being used to this side of you. You blush under everyone’s gaze and look around the dance floor to try and remove the unwanted attention.

Within minutes, many of the girls are pulled onto the dance floor, leaving you with Kristie and Midge at the table.

“How about you? What was the last date you had?” Midge asks you since you’re the only one who hasn’t shared. You shift a little uncomfortably at the two girl’s stares, especially one being your best friend who you have grown attracted to within the past year.

“Umm, it was a blind date set up by my friend a few months ago. He was sweet and all, but I just didn’t see it going anywhere.” You shrug, taking another sip of your drink.

“What did he do? Profession wise.” Midge wonders, intrigued by your love life you barely share any detail about.

“A lawyer.”

“So let me get this straight. He was sweet, a lawyer, and a good friend of your friend. Was he ugly?”

“No, he wasn't ugly at all, it’s just, I don’t know honestly.” You exhale, rubbing your hands on the glass cup sitting on the table.

“There has so got to be more to that story, but I’ll let you off the hook. For now.” Midge teases with a daunting glare directed at you.

You didn’t even realize how silent the blonde next to you had become. You couldn’t say the real reason as to why the blind date didn’t become a second one when the reason is sitting next to you. Around the time of the date, you began to feel new feelings about your best friend, and you’re still trying to depict them.

“You never told me about that date.” Kristie states, finally speaking up.

“I didn’t think it was that important.” You say, tensing your shoulders up subconsciously at the scene. Kristie just hums, not believing you for a second but deciding to let it go.

Soon Kelley returns to the table, drunk and ditsy, claiming everyone is such party poopers. You all roll your eyes at the girl but chuckle, and soon the blonde next to you is dragged by Kelley to the dance floor.

Kristie looks at you with pleading eyes as her arm is getting tugged off, begging for you to get her out of it, but you just shrug with an entertained smile. You notice the midfielder lipping something at you with a glare, but you’re too tipsy to understand.

“So, about that lawyer.” You laugh at the younger girl’s persistence, shaking your head with a disbelief look.

“Midgey, like I told you-”

That’s when you hear it. That booming, raspy laugh just a few feet away from you. You thought you’d never have to hear that ugly sound ever again, but of course, you’re proven wrong.

You slowly turn around, and when you do, you catch eyes with someone you haven’t seen since Boston College. His sinister smirk stretches across his face as he takes a sip of his beer, eyeing you up while the fear in your eyes grows.

Pins and needles spread through your limbs, leaving you numb. The glass in your hand feels distant, as if it belongs to someone else. Your ears become muffled, blocking Midge’s worried calls out for you. And then your heartbeat. It starts to speed up five times its usual pace, causing your breathing to match its fast rate.

“Midge, what’s going on?” Ali asks, having come back to rest from all the dancing.

“I have no clue, one second we were talking and the next we weren’t.” Midge furrows her eyebrows with a worried expression, trying to figure out how to help.

“Here, help me take her outside.” Ali demands, continuing to try and grab your attention and ask if it’s okay if she touches you.

When you don’t answer, Ali softly touches your arm and when you don’t react, she wraps your arm around her shoulder to support your weight. Midge wraps her arms around your midsection once Ali stands you up, and you can’t even feel either touch.

The girls get you so close until you suddenly become deadweight in the corner of the bar, dragging the two girls down with you so you don’t get injured. Your knees curl up to your chin, and your arms wrap around your legs. Your whole body feels like TV static, numbing your mind along with it.

“What do we do? She’s clearly panicking!” Midge begins to freak out, becoming extremely worried at your state, watching tears run down your wide eyes.

“Go get Kristie.”

“What?”

“Go grab Kristie! Now, Midge!” Ali doesn’t mean to yell, but she’s not sure how long you’ll go without passing out. Midge nods her head determinedly and runs onto the dance floor through the sweaty bodies to find the midfielder.

You never thought you’d run into that pathetic excuse of a man again. The beginning of your relationship was great sophomore year, but then it began to grow more tense. Arguing about the future, miscommunications, and disagreements turned into pushes, then slaps, and finally full-on punches.

It took you getting a concussion to finally put an end to what was happening. Kristie was there from the beginning, constantly trying to get you to move in with her and leave him, but you just couldn’t. Despite the abuse, you felt as if he still loved you.

Then a few months after the breakup came the stalking and threatening. He would follow you to classes, work, and even practices just to scare you. Along with that, we would make burner accounts and threaten to lie to the dean to get you kicked from school, and show explicit photos to your friends and family.

It took Kristie speaking up for you to finally file a restraining order. Ever since then, you haven’t seen or heard a peep from the man.

“What’s going on!” Kristie’s voice cuts through the loud air, approaching your curled-up body.

“We don’t know.” Midge admits, biting her lip anxiously at the scene of Kristie trying everything to get your attention.

“Well, what the hell happened!” Kristie’s voice raises, absolutely terrified at the state you're in and wanting to do whatever she can to get you out of it.

“One second we were talking and then the next she looked around and went into this!”

“Looked around?”

The midfielder quickly glances around the room, attempting to follow in your footsteps, and that’s when she sees it. More like sees him. That same smug smirk she remembers seeing years ago.

“Kriegs, I need you to go grab security. Quickly.” Without any hesitation, Ali runs to look for bouncers while Kristie turns her glare from the man over to you with a softened look.

Your eyes are looking everywhere and nowhere all at once. They’re moving yet you can’t focus or see a thing, but when you hear that familiar soothing voice, your vision begins to unblur.

“There you are.” The blonde states, watching your gaze finally make contact with hers.

Within seconds, your breathing begins to slow, reverting back to its original pace as soon as it can, helping your body relax and unnumb. Just the sound of Kristie’s voice and the soft touch of her hand have helped tremendously, although you aren’t in the clear.

Your breaths have slowed down from before but it’s still rapid compared to the normal rate, and most of your body remains dizzy.

“What can I help you with, ma’am?” The bouncer asks, approaching you two with Ali right next to him.

“I need you to get that man out of here.” Kristie demands, pointing to the cause of all this chaos.

“We can’t kick him out without cause. We haven’t heard any complaints.” The man asserts with furrowed brows, but Kristie doesn’t seem to take it.

“Is a restraining order enough? Escort him out or I will, sir.”

Many of the girls who have now gathered around, not too close to overwhelm you, eyes widened with impressed looks and smiles as they watch the bouncer scram to escort him out.

“Wow. Don’t wanna mess with Kristie and her girl.” Nealy mumbles to a nodding Jenna.

Meanwhile, you’re finally making progress on being able to talk, hear, and breathe normally. A lot of your body remains tingly along with weakness, but the blonde girl alongside you helps you with everything.

“Here she is.” Kristie murmurs softly, her voice cutting through the haze in your mind like sunlight breaking through a curtained window. Her steady tone anchors you, and your frantic gaze finally meets hers.

“You’re okay, you’re safe. I’m right here.” She calmly says, her touch is gentle but firm, hands rubbing slow, deliberate circles on your arms.

Your chest heaves as you fight to regain control of your breathing, each inhale catching like a hiccup in your throat. But her words, her presence, they’re a lifeline. Slowly, the static buzzing in your body begins to fade, replaced by a dull ache and a tingling warmth where her hands rest on your arms.

“That’s it.” Kristie encourages, her eyes locked on yours. “Breathe with me, okay? In and out.”

You nod shakily, mimicking her deep breaths. Your lungs still feel tight, but the rhythm she sets calms the chaos in your chest. Gradually, the room sharpens around you; the distant thrum of music, the faint chatter of the girls nearby. It’s overwhelming, but Kristie keeps your focus tethered to her.

“There you go.” she says when your breathing finally steadies. “You’re doing so good, honey.”

Your heart stumbles at her words, warmth spreading through your chest despite the lingering fear. You manage a small nod, though the effort feels monumental.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper, your voice hoarse and shaky. “I don’t know what happened. I saw him, and-”

“Stop, you don’t have to explain right now. It’s not your fault.” Kristie interrupts gently, shaking her head.

“She’s right, Y/n. None of this is your fault.” Midge steps closer, her face lined with concern.

You exhale shakily, the pressure in your chest lightening as you take in their words. Slowly, with Kristie’s help, you rise to your feet. Your legs wobble, lightheadedness threatening to pull you down again, but her arm is already around your waist, holding you steady.

“Easy, I’ve got you.” She says softly, her steady grip grounding you.

Her closeness, the protective strength in her touch, is almost too much to bear. Your cheeks flush a deep red, and you glance away, hiding the way her presence affects you. But Kristie notices, of course she does. Her hand lingers on your waist as her gaze searches yours.

“How about we head home, yeah?” The older girl suggests with a small smile.

“Yeah.”

—

When Kristie suggested going home, you both decided to just stay over at her apartment. It was close and for some reason comfier than yours in your opinion.

The midfielder was quick to offer you her clothes to sleep in which included a t-shirt and shorts. You were so relieved to take off the tight pants you had on along with your bra that felt like it was pushing your breasts all the way into your back.

You’re both cuddled together on the couch watching some sitcom on the TV. Cuddling isn’t new to you two, but ever since you realized your feelings for the older girl, your chest tightens and your cheeks flush whenever she gets this close.

Within minutes you’re asleep on the blonde’s chest, your cheek resting on her grey sweater and hair splattered across your face. Kristie is not too far behind, having soothed herself to sleep by threading her nails through the top of your head while the show in the background plays lightly.

The night passes in a peaceful blur, and when morning comes, sunlight streams through the window, warming your face. You squint against the brightness, groaning softly as you blink yourself awake. The warmth of Kristie’s arm draped over you lingers, grounding you in the moment, but you still try to sit up as well as you can without waking the girl.

“Good morning, beautiful.” Kristie rasps, her voice low and husky from sleep, with a sleepy grin spreading across her face as she stretches her arms over her head.

If you were half asleep before, you sure as hell aren’t now. The sound of her morning voice, paired with the pet name, sends a shiver down your spine. You’re not used to this side of her, so confident, so close. It makes your pulse race in ways you’re not sure you can control.

Kristie immediately notices the change in your posture despite only being up for a few minutes. She slowly sits up next to you, watching the side of your face and observing your reaction to her getting closer to you. When you turn, you slightly jump having not actually seen her move up close to you.

“Hi.” You manage a shaky smile, your heart still racing from the sudden closeness.

“Hi.” The girl’s lips curl into a soft grin, her blue eyes flickering between yours as if searching for something unspoken. The way she leans closer makes your breath hitch.

A new tension rises between you two as you both stare at one another with longing eyes, wanting so much more but not making a move. You don’t want to pull away. Maybe this is when something can happen between you two, but you’re too afraid to make the first move.

Suddenly, Kristie’s voice breaks the air with something unexpected.

“Please tell me to stop if I’m doing something you don’t want or like.”

Your breath catches in your throat as her words hang in the air. Kristie’s voice is quiet, almost hesitant, but there’s a certainty in her tone that makes your pulse quicken once again. Her gaze remains locked on yours, searching for any sign of hesitation.

You should say something. Anything. But all you can do is stare at her, your heart pounding in your chest like it’s trying to escape, too nervous to do something wrong.

“Kristie.” You finally whisper, unsure of where the courage to speak comes from.

Her name falls from your lips like a plea, and that’s all the confirmation she seems to need. Slowly, carefully, she closes the small space between you.

Her hand brushes against yours, the touch featherlight, as if she’s giving you the chance to pull away. You don’t. Instead, your fingers curl slightly, brushing hers in return.

“Is this okay?” She asks softly, voice trembling just enough to betray her own nerves.

“Yeah. It’s more than okay.” You nod, barely able to speak.

A small smile tugs at her lips before she leans in, her forehead resting lightly against yours. Her breath is warm against your skin, and you swear the world outside her apartment melts away. It’s just you and her now, caught in this fragile, perfect moment.

Her hand lifts to your cheek, her thumb tracing the crevices of your skin. The touch sends shivers down your spine, and for the first time, you realize just how much you’ve wanted this. Just how much you’ve been concealing these emotions.

And then, finally, she kisses you.

It’s gentle at first, her lips brushing against yours like a question, but when you don’t pull away, when you kiss back, it deepens. Your hands find their way to her shoulders repositioning and anchoring yourself to her as her fingers tangle in your hair.

Time slows. The sitcom that played throughout the night fades into white noise. All you can feel is her warmth, her touch, and the way she makes you feel like the center of the universe.

When she finally pulls back, her cheeks are flushed, and her grin is sheepish.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while.” She admits, her voice barely above a whisper.

You laugh softly, your own face warm.

“Me too.”

For the first time in what feels like forever, the tension between you two isn’t uncertainty. It’s the start of something new.

#kristie mewis x reader #woso x reader #uswnt x reader #kristie mewis #ali krieger #midge purce #gotham fc #kelley o'hara #jenna nighswonger #lynn williams #woso fic #woso imagine #woso #lgbtq #uswnt

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ethtyn · 20 hours ago

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LET'S GO OUT WITH A BANG 🚦

taglist:

@ashiyn @single-malt-scotch @goodtimeswithetho @pebbltree @crabbunch @catmaidetho @amethyst-allium @stitchthesewords

sooooo ermm i guess i get to talk about this piece now YIPPEE

i am one of those people who's constantly trying to figure out what their own art style looks like LMFAO. i take frequent breaks from art due to mental health shit so it feels like every time i come back i'm trying to find my footing again.

that being said, i had a lot of caffeine yesterday and started this on a whim and it ended up being something i'm incredibly proud of. i think it helps that i've been redrawing old emotes for a friend's twitch channel, so figuring out which brushes i like right now was really helpful, and i ended up using my personal emote palette like...a lot. that pink in Etho's eye, the purple used for shading, most of the browns are all used in my own emotes. it's wild how much having colours already picked out streamlines things!

Etho is the one i started with, of course, and ended up being one that i went back to re-draw after i'd done...three? or four? more, because the sizing wasn't right and i wasn't happy with the posing. i still wish i could have conveyed him dipping his chin into his coat fluff a little better, but oh well. i thought of the little detail of him looking at Martyn's drawing at the last second (#ethtyn4life) and it made me laugh so i did it. points to you if you caught that!

Joel was the second - life!Joel has always been fey in my head, especially after that season when he just went batshit insane the second he turned red. can't explain it, that's just how it be. i tried to give him an air of subtle menace about him but i think he just looks sleepy 💀 i'd like to do these as individual, larger pieces at some point, so maybe i can work on that more then.

Grian was the third - he reminds me of a Lost Boy here and that wasn't intentional but the Lost Boys always kind of freaked me out and life!Grian's kinda freaky so i think it fits. his little smirk is so creepy and i love him.

i don't remember who i did next after this so we'll just go in order pfft

Bdubs is SO CUTE look at him. one of the few where i couldn't make a menacing expression work, and honestly with how good his profile turned out i barely mind. i did that side profile with no reference, y'all, idk what kind of crack i was on last night. what the hell. this was about the point where i started wanting to do little lore doodles for everybody so i added the clock face - i think it clashes with the red background but what can you do.

CLEOOOOOO CLEO CLEO. i LOVED drawing them, i think their design is one of my favourites of the bunch. her hair has always been snakes in my head and AGAIN i drew those with no reference, can you fucking believe that. i loved the little detail of some of the snakes poking at the people next to her, they're so cute hehe. also Cleo has freckles now, i'm so sorry but i don't make the rules. someone complimented the teeth in the reblogs and THANK YOU!! they're not quite anatomically correct but fuck it we ball and they look cool as hell anyway.

Martyn is so smug, i love him. points if you caught that he's looking at Cleo bc Double Life, i wanted to do something a lil different with him than just another straight up symmetry tool drawing and i think it fits. he is so eye-searing tho sir please tone it down.

Lizzie is fey just like her husband, and also she is smol. i don't think it's conveyed as well as i'd like here but i also didn't want her to look like a straight-up child so i did what i could. she is So Scary with those vacant blue eyes oh my god. and drawing her hair was sooooo fun i love long hair ahh

with Gem i basically smoothed out a rough design sketch i posted awhile back and i'm so proud of the little head cock she's got going on, she looks so cool. also her hair?? idk how i did that. i love her swoopy bangs so much.

Pearl is moth. Pearl will always be Moth. so she got lil antennae and big buggy eyes. drawing that hood was so satisfying, i used to try and draw Raven Teen Titans in high school and could never get the hood to look right so seeing this one come out perfectly was sooooo good. and of course had to include a teensy moon.

that's all i've got, i think - i feel myself crashing LMFAO. maybe at some point i'll come back and say more but here's this for now!

#smallishbeans #ethoslab #bdoubleo100 #grian #zombiecleo #inthelittlewood #itlw #ldshadowlady #geminitay #pearlescentmoon #trafficblr #life smp #🚦smp #vse.art #*#image description in alt #y'all doing the alt text for this was an ADVENTURE lmfao #popular? i know about popular.

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secriden · 1 day ago

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LSKJFDLSDJ IT REALLY IS BUT A FLESH WOUND

#ok it wasn't nearly as bad as i thought it was going to be #thank you thk for staying true to your lighthearted/comedic promise just because of my weak weak heart #i am fulling expecting fadel to be DEVASTATED about this tho jUST YOU WAIT #also i hope style milks this wound for all he can to make fadel FEEL ALL THE FEELS #the heart killers #thk liveblog #thk spoilers #thk ep 9 #weird tangential thing but i didn't expect style's shirt to be green #cuz in the trailer and in the previews it always looked more blue??#i wonder why they coloured it so differently in the trailers

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devnmon · 2 days ago

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to atone with revenge

astarion x gn!reader

summary: astarion hasn't forgotten how you teased him more than a tenday ago, but oh how he's plotting to give you the payback you deserve...

pt 2 of my one shot, on account of attention. read part 1!

warnings: [porn with a little bit of plot] tadpole use, teasing, begging, multiple orgasms, creampie, piv sex, doggy style, oral (m!receiving), dom astarion, sweet aftercare, use of magical bindings, use of the word cunt

wc: 7.6k

a/n: i got totally carried away with this fic but i had so much fun writing it. here (a month later) is part 2! have all my brainrotted thoughts in one fic. i heart astarion <3

Red piercing eyes. Tantalizing ones caught your attention all day long.

You felt him everywhere, at your back in the taverns and shops, staring at you when you were in conversation with anyone and everyone... including right over your shoulder whilst the hairs of your neck stood upright. Everywhere he went, there was a chill that followed, occupying whatever space he did. Whether it was his undead nature or just a sense you developed about Astarion, his presence continued to be known every passing moment.

You wouldn’t have noticed his change in behavior if it weren’t for the night you broke his reading concentration with your greedy little hands. The vampire knew exactly how to get under your skin: be close enough to you that you notice his presence continuously, but deny you of anything more than a kiss.

Astarion knew how to play the long game, and gods, was he good at it.

Days passed anticipating his next taunting move, which you found rather difficult. His cunning and skills under the shadows made him very unpredictable. Unforgetful of the fact that he was a skilled rogue, there was no way to predict what he was going to do next.

Constantly without fail, you found his gaze multiple times a day. Something in the way his eyes never faltered even upon catching him staring. As if that wasn't distracting enough, Astarion took advantage of your shared tadpole connection to leave the filthiest of thoughts within your mind.

Somehow with every image he placed, the visions were vivid like a drug induced dream. His hands felt as they were around your waist, trailing down your figure. Between your legs as you gasped for more, holding you down while you called out for him.

All of it was torturous, unrelenting and making your body burn hotter each time. Once every so often you'd push back into his thoughts to reprimand him. The task, though, became increasingly difficult.

That wasn't all– it never was with him.

He stood a step too close out on the road, inhaling your scent much too obviously whenever he could. Deep breathing in your ear, or just off to the side that you were the only one to hear. He’d whisper amatory things in your ear when he felt the group was far enough ahead, and flourish his weaponry around when he knew you were looking. Astarion was much too good with his hands for you to not notice, and rarely did he not show off.

When he did so, your eyes were a magnet to those hands flipping the blades around effortlessly. You pondered if you need to be paying more attention to watching him in battle, to know how those knives really moved in his grasp.

"A bit clingy today, aren't we?"

Before he's up close, whispering, "Oh, darling. You have no idea what clingy looks like on me. I'm just giving you a taste of your own medicine."

"That's hardly comparable to how you're acting right now."

"Like I said, you have no idea."

–

Once your party finally ventured back to camp, Astarion left his shenanigans at bay. For a few hours, you were without his boyish teasing. He ended up lingering a bit too close and brushing an arm or hand against the small of your back or waist just to keep you on your toes. Within the hour of camp settling, you felt the prod into your mind once again.

Love, I can't stop thinking about how our bodies move together like perfection... effortlessly. Like waves of the ocean, constantly in sync.

Followed by more images of moments with you both pressed together in harmony, underneath the linen sheets of the beds at Elfsong. One especially long night you spend wasting restoration scrolls just so you could keep worshiping his body till the sun rose again.

You felt your regret that morning, not only by an overwhelming soreness, but a verbal lashing you got from the others for using up everyone’s spare scrolls. And then there was your bloodless woozy state.

You slightly jumped at the vampire’s voice in your head, almost dropping what you were working on.

Astarion, please... Now is not the time. I'm mending something and I need to focus, lest I prick my finger.

Another poke against your mind.

Oh? Focus, you say? What an odd thing... I remember not being able to afford that when I was trying to read some nights ago... Now I'm just thinking about you underneath me, crying out my name, begging for more. Begging for me to give you more. To go faster, harder, deeper...

"Fuck..." you hissed, quiet enough so no one still lingering nearby could hear.

But then your glance scales over to Astarion's tent, and there he is, red eyes locked on yours, electrifying as the first day you saw them. A smirk grows on his lips before he cheekily waves at you and goes about his business, completely unbothered with his teasing nature.

You shake your head and attempt to continue your task. That tone of his voice always succeeded in bringing you to your knees, both mentally and physically on occasion. His voice in your mind was ever so distracting, and he knew for a fact it was doing more harm than good.

Did I distract you, love? I'm so sorry. I've been thinking about our last night together... ceaselessly. My hunger for you will only deepen in the meantime.

Your hands began to lose track of their task as easily as his voice slipped into your mind. The slightest distraction was a slippery slope with Astarion. His words made your hands sweat and you couldn’t grasp what you were working on as easily as you had before. Just a quick nudge from him, and your focus had been ruined.

Camp had settled down for the night, and you found your place in the tent you shared with your elven companion.

"Well hello, lover." Astarion spoke, as you closed the flap of his red enclosure. His area always smelled like rosemary, a classic scent he chose time and again. With it came the memory of meeting him that day after the ship crashed into the Sword Coast, and everything that followed.

You reluctantly gave him a look and tried to settle in. But you knew once you gave him an inch, he would take a mile.

"Good evening, Astarion."

"And how is my favorite pet tonight?"

You sighed and rolled your eyes, "Fine, and yourself?"

He saunters up behind you, "Oh, just fine? That's not what I'm picking up now... I've been thinking about you all day."

As if that wasn't clear enough, you thought. He chuckles like he can hear your words, and walks a step closer. You hear his deep, breathy inhale next to your ear, rosemary and bergamot surrounding you.

"You delectable little vixen..." he purrs.

His figure nears yours another inch, hands becoming magnets to your waist. No doubt the buzzing transferred from his touch to your skin. But if you let it show, you were almost certain he'd take advantage of it and lose himself in you.

Though you've felt his touch countless times before, there was something more infectious about his touch when he was distracting you with it. It squeezed your body the slightest bit, already feeling his arousal growing from the contact. You attempted to step away, and his hands pulled you in tighter- clutching you close to his body. An inch more, and you would've been pressed up against his longing.

Astarion lingered as you prepared to rest, offering to do most things just for you– mainly for the captivating touch. It felt like ages until you ended up finally conceding to stop prolonging your rest. He sighed in content as you finally settled for the night and cuddled up close.

"You're so pretty lying next to me."

You sigh, “I’m exhausted, Starion. Please…”

"I just can't help how I become when I'm close to you. It's certainly not my fault what dastardly hold you've got over me."

You chuckled, "Are you trying to flatter me?"

“Possibly… Is it working?” He smirked, fangs catching the light. You sighed, leaving him without an answer which he could’ve figured out by how much he’d been a damned nuisance the past days.

Once you found your comfortable spot, his body intertwined with yours as he did every night. Yet his touches were keeping you wide awake. Hands wrapped around your torso, one of his legs folded between your two.

As if he knew you were dozing off, Astarion prodded into your mind as easily as he could pick a lock— with little to no effort on his part. An image of him towering over you popped into your head, devilish grin and fangs shimmering as his hips continually kissed yours. How hot the air had become between you two, words of devotion and affection passed between you and your lover. The taste of wine on his lips as he’d kissed you like a man dying of thirst looked at a mountain spring. You can faintly feel his grip on your waist as it was that night— greedy like he’d never been so enamored before.

Then, another appeared of you tucked away in a bedroom with him, on your knees indulging in a most rousing activity. Even if you were sore after the fact, his huffs of hot breath and whispers of your name in that amorous voice made up for it.

There truly was no way to keep Astarion out of your head, failing to gather up the strength it would take and letting him indulge once more. You’re just exhausted enough to give up on resisting his utterly dirty images he kept placing into your head.

First his hands only rested on your waist, softly grasping at times, but then they moved up your back, to your shoulders— and oh, how they ached.

Sighing at your relief, you heard him chuckle behind you. Truth be told, his touches at a time like this would put you to sleep faster than you could imagine. But then your mind connected the images in your mind to what he’d said earlier, and they turned overwhelming in a split second.

"Stari..." you mumbled, hoping he would relent and let you sleep– but this was Astarion.

"Am I keeping you from slumber, my sweet?" he questioned, playing coy.

"Mhm..."

"Terribly sorry, love. You’re so soft under my touch that I lost myself. Like I’ve done many a time before. Every inch of you whispers temptation… Who am I to not indulge?"

"Mmmh..." you whine, "So tired. Your hands..."

Sneaky, conniving bastard couldn't help but give you a taste of your own medicine. Those images and the sound of his voice in your mind was enough to spark an incessant heat to grow between your legs.

“You’re not allowed to sleep yet, darling. Not when you’ve got some making up to do.”

He taunted, watching as you rolled over and looked up at him, pleading through your furrowed brows.

“But, I’ve nothing to make up for…”

“Oh, no. Don’t play innocent now.” Astarion gestured with his hands, “You know exactly what I mean. Little minx, I’ve half the mind to tie you up and have my way with you for even suggesting you’re not to blame.”

Astarion grabbed your wrists, pinning you under him while dragging his eyes over every detail of your face. His sudden movement ran your cheeks hot, smirking as they pinked up.

“I mean, look at you. Still hiding how hot and bothered I’ve made you, when you know it’s all you want. Those little images were just a taste of what I’ve planned for you. Besides, I just don’t feel like letting you off that easily. Your body’s practically given you away, darling.”

Astarion pouted, mocking the innocence you painted on. His face cranes downward, inching closer to yours. His rosemary scent thickens around your head, one of his hands tipping your chin up to meet his eyes, thumb ghosting over your bottom lip.

In his eyes you can see the glimmering of that roguish charm putting you under his trance as he’s done so easily many times before.

“For the record, I’ve been thinking about this since that night.”

Depriving you of his touch for long enough that you’d falter so deliciously under his fingertips from it was one of his favorite things to do. All that fatigue was replaced by the hot and heavy sensitivity your body gave off under his touch, lit aflame by the deprivation of his sweet musings. Hooded eyes locked onto him, deliriously overtaken by the vampire’s wit.

Astarion had enough power over you with a single look, but with such an invigorating one, he could bring you to your knees in a second.

“Every inch of you is mine…” he practically whispered in his low tone of voice, a raw need and reminder he’d sewn his heart to yours.

“Yours…” you breathed, and his smirk grew tenfold. “I’m yours, Astarion. Please, no more teasing…”

“No? Maybe I should give you exactly what you want. Hm?”

“Mmhh… Astarion, please.”

“I want to hear you beg for it.”

He desires your total submission to his whims, fervent and passionate in his plotting. Within you, a notion of desperation stretched over your entire figure. It called out for him, for his hands to know every inch of you. To press into the plush of your thighs and feel how your body responded to his touch. Astarion stoked the fire of your endless wanting, burning brighter with every passing moment. Pushing deeper into his playfulness to tease and make you as riled up as you’d gotten him, well, he knew how to do that splendidly.

“But–”

“You heard me.”

You’re hesitant to say a word, though you know if he doesn’t get what he wants, it will end very badly for you. So you hesitate, and his brows furrow.

“Perhaps you don’t understand. See, I was trying to concentrate on some very nice reading and you… took it upon yourself to distract me. I’m simply paying you back for that. Now.. where were we?”

Your cheeks become impossibly redder, accepting your fate and letting the aching need for him you take over.

“‘Stari’n… need to feel you touching me, everywhere. Gods… please me with those hands I can’t stop thinking about. Those hands I want to worship, along with the rest of you. I don’t need anything more than that… than you. I can’t wait any longer. Shit– please…”

Syllables of your begging crescendo around his ears, followed by heavy breathing and your intoxicating figure glowing in the moonlight.

“That’s what you want, isn’t it? For me to touch you? Run my hands all over your precious body and feel you come undone under them? Darling, I’d love nothing more.”

Astarion was first to initiate his lips in a kiss, leaning into you with all the sanguine greed he allowed himself. One kiss and you were gasping after he pulled away, unaware how much the deprivation of him dawned on your entire body. It began to buzz after the slightest touch of his entered your bloodstream. His kiss was venom sliding down your throat, passed through his lips to your very insides which only ached hotter. You wish the taste of him would last forever if you had the chance, an aphrodisiac he’d planted on those pretty lips of yours.

Much too caught up in prolonging the last of his taste, his grip moves upwards to where your wrists lay.

“Stay very still.” he whispered into your ear, the tip of his nose ghosting against your soft skin there. Confidently watching you with his tantalizing gaze, he muttered an incantation and your hands became tied to the ground.

“Wha– Astarion…!”

Naturally you strained against the bounds that wrapped themselves around your wrists, unbeknownst to the fact that this was just the beginning of his teasing tonight.

“Don’t whine. Or your legs are next.”

A whimper escaped you upon protest, still deeming this as an unwarranted act… but then you knew Astarion, knew what he was like when his buttons were pushed. Thus, you digress.

“There you go, looking so pretty when you’re tied up.”

“Stari you promised…”

“Mhm, you’re right… what shall we do about it?”

His lips craned towards your face, pressing softly against your cheek, then your ear, which he nipped at as he did so. Your heartbeat bumped up speed, the palms of your hands sweating.

“Oh, love, your heart’s racing. Have I got anything to do with that, hm?” His voice was a low purr, one that’s only present when he’s relishing in the moment.

“By the gods, you know it does… please. Do whatever you want with me. I’m yours.”

A heat pooled in your stomach, threatening to spill already. Partially his fault, but he knew you and knew the power he held to his advantage. He inhaled deeply, chest barely an inch away from yours, to take in your natural aroma. A low growl rumbled from his chest, the close proximity of his vampiric senses letting him absorb much more of you.

Astarion’s fingers make quick work of untying your camp clothes and tossing them to the side. With each piece he discards, he’s sure to leave a chaste kiss on the most sensitive parts of your skin. Between the valley of your breasts, pinching the hardness of your nipples, down your stomach to your navel and the soft tuft of hair between your legs. He’s down to your underwear when he spots the very prominent wet spot, and his senses are on fire. Cheekily, he rubs his thumb against the stain thus earning a sharp breath from you and a slight shake of your legs. His palms splay out over your thighs to keep them parted, while pressing a kiss to your inner thigh.

“Missed me that much, did you?”

“Yes, Gods, yes…” you whispered.

When he fully discards your panties and sees what a mess you’ve made, his red eyes dilate and darken. The plush of your thighs threaten to close around him, so he repeats his incantation on your ankles. There you lay out so perfectly for him, a vision with your hair thrown about, cheeks running hot from his incessant teasing. You were a vision, already blissed out because of him and he hasn’t even touched you where you truly need him.

Pulling your panties down is the next thing he does, a cool touch of his fingers aiding how much your arousal throbbed for him.

“You know, I should edge you for the stunt you pulled.”

“Don’t– please don’t…”

“Hm. I don’t think you’re in any position to make demands… But I won’t.”

Astarion’s lips pressed another kiss right above your most sensitive part, fully aware he was making it worse for you. His digits ghost right over your pussy, practically glowing from how responsive and sensitive you are. Every inch of your body is on fire– for him. There was nothing he loved more to see. He leaned down to press a kiss against your wetness, relishing in your arousal spread over his lips.

Astarion sighs, “I missed the way you taste. Mmm…”

The tip of his angled nose pushes right up against your clit, the tiniest spark of friction surging inside you. Every touch has you clenching around nothing, while his tongue greedily flits through your folds, collecting as much of your taste on his tongue as he could. He groaned into you, and your hips buck fervently, more than you can control. Before you know it, Astarion’s looped his biceps around your legs to hold you down. It’s hardly fair, him now having complete control of your body. You’re unable to keep quiet while he laps at your entrance, fully ignoring the sensitive bundle of nerves just an inch higher.

“Ahh… starion…nnn…”

“Shh, darling. Wouldn’t want the others to spoil our fun…”

You moaned desperately for him.

“Quietly, now…” he whispers, glittering eyes looking up at you from between your legs. You stifle a whimper and glance at his cheeks– he’s enjoying this thoroughly.

Out of nowhere, Astarion moves his tongue to circle around your clit, and your moans are muffled by whatever reserve you had left. Hips stuttering under his cool touch, your skin runs hot, aroused and flushing your cheeks with every little movement he makes. Swirling three times over, the ocean of ecstasy grows with the coax of his tongue. He prods two fingers into your entrance so easily while he sucks and laves, and you’re all but gasping his name in a whisper before you gush all over him. Running through you as if you hadn’t been touched before.

“You came so fast, and I’ve barely touched you.” His words paired with a smirk on his face are just enough to make you come again, until you see the tent in his pants and immediately swoon once more.

His two fingers continued to move inside you, curling against that perfect spot to make you see stars. As fast as your orgasm passed over you, the semblance of yet another was already beginning to build. The vampire’s fingers were deft, slender and he just about fit another one in before his thumb flicks over your clit again.

“Asta…ah– s’starion…” you uttered, overwhelmed in such an otherworldly sensation.

“You'll come as many times as I want, got it?"

You’re sent throwing your head back, gasping yes and whispering his name. Astarion doesn’t slow at the sight of you undone- no. He leans in deeper, quickening the movements of his fingers to devour you with his tongue. Spreading you all over his mouth was another vexing action he took, submerging himself in each inch of pleasure he could pull from you.

You try to find the words to beg him, but nothing seems to form other than a whimpering noise of pleasure and a bunch of words jumbled together.

“You can barely speak, so cute.” he pouted.

Your slick of wetness surges again, this time over his hand and fingers so messily. It made a vulgarly loud and sticky sound as his fingers pulled out, lifting them so you could see just how much of you covered his hand.

“Go on, clean my fingers. This is your mess, after all.” he gestured, to which your bindings dropped. Quick to suck his fingers into your mouth, you let a sick pride fill your chest with how his eyes fell on you, dazed and glossed over. His pants were still tightening as you finished cleaning off his digits, glancing down at the prominent outline his length made.

Moaning with every pass of your tongue over the pads of his fingers made his assurance of bringing you pleasure grow. It throbbed in fact- right under his leathers. You dared to close your legs around his torso, that he would lift you up and have his way, showing you everything he knew you were craving.

Astarion noted the way your eyes glossed over when you took a glance at his bulge, practically aching to be out of his confines.

“Want to prove you’re sorry?”

You nodded slowly, never breaking his eye contact.

“Get on your knees. I want to see how you look begging for my forgiveness.” Astarion spat, propping himself up with a snide expression. How gorgeous he looked in moments like this, slightest sheen of sweat gracing his forehead, presenting himself to you on a silver platter. His current way of eyeing you revealed that he’d gotten off on the whole ordeal. Not to mention his flushed cheeks, raging hard on and that look in his eye.

Positioning yourself in front of him was a task in itself, the soreness from your previous bindings began to ache as you took your place. You ended up laying your heat right on a point of pressure to give you a bit of friction. To have your figure on display for him like this was an art form; the way you sang his name, when he pulled sounds of pleasure from you that no one else has heard before. Having you seated like this in front of him did nothing but fuel the vampire’s ego, how easily he got you to bend to his whims.

“You know what to do.”

Astarion’s rubies darkened a shade while locked on your figure moving closer, unrelenting and overpowered. Touching him sent sparks flying under the tips of your fingers, a sensation you relished in after a week of deliberate scheming. Your hands slid selfishly over the skin of his navel, taut stomach flexing under the contact. His pants and other nightclothes were discarded and thus lay his stunning figure to you in its entirety.

Not only was his length upright and swollen, it was practically begging to be touched. From the way a drop of precome slid down the front of his tip, he was just as eager as you. Wrapping your hand around the base of him was enough stimulation to make him groan. He threw his head back a bit, shutting his eyes before glancing back at you.

“Fuck, just as I thought. You look so good on your knees for me.”

His sultry voice spoke again- a slight purr, running his tongue over one of his pearly white fangs and smirking.

Your lips neared his cock and Astarion could only watch as you pressed a kiss to the underside of him, relishing in the taste he left. He couldn’t help but cup your cheek in his palm, running his finger over your bottom lip the same way he’d done before.

“Look what you do to me… lover.”

A jolt ran up your spine, those hooded eyes unmoving from you.

Your tongue flattened against his base, licking a stripe all the way up before circling around the tip. A low grumble vibrated from his chest, music to your ears as you continued. Swallowing him down inch by inch, your tongue ran down the underside of his length. To try and contain the pleasure you were experiencing whilst indulging him was harder than you conceptualized. Your hands became eager, running one over his thigh, the other holding him while your head bobbed lower. Each flit of your tongue down his shaft was greedier than the last, your cunt throbbing below you just because of it.

Astarion’s hand raked through your hair again whilst you hollowed your cheeks to take another inch of him down. Your eyes rake up and down his taut stomach, relishing in the gorgeous sight of him before you. Gaze dropping back to his cock, you felt his hand cup your cheek again.

“Eyes on me, darling.”

His command locked his rubies to yours, while gripping your hair with a slight push on your head. An inch further and you felt his tip at the back of your throat. You gasped for air upon pulling him out of your mouth for a moment, before catching the glimmer in his eye. A trail of saliva connected your lips to him after you came up, swirling your tongue and peppering kisses down his length. Once to his base, you cupped him with a soft hand, savoring the way his abdomen flexed again.

Growing impatient, Astarion took charge and placed your lips upon him once again. This time, he submerged his hand into the tresses of your hair and pushed more than eagerly. He hit the back of your throat much faster now, prodding to go further but he felt you hum against him.

“You can take it.” he encouraged breathily. Grunts and moans escaped his lips upon pushing you further down, the pathetic image of you enough for him to buck his hips once or twice. Astarion’s breathing became heavy with each thrust down your throat, letting your lover have his way with you. After everything, he should get to use you for his own satisfaction.

That’s it…

Fuck, take all of me…

Begging is such a good look on you.

Echoes of his voice reverberate inside your head, and your eyes dart upwards to see Astarion’s caught his bottom lip between his teeth. Smirking, he encouraged you on.

Soon enough, the shakiness in his breathing surged tenfold and you knew he was inching closer to release.

“Keep going… make me come. Then I’ll see about rewarding you.”

Your vampire spoke clearly, breathlessly, but the slightest hesitation on his words told much of what was in his future. Lips covered in your saliva slid down his length, kissing his base without ever leaving his cock. Dedication and admiration flowed from you to him effortlessly, with every pass of your tongue against him. It was welcomed fully with no hesitation— his flexing thighs, the grip he held in your hair, the slight pushing each time you went down another inch. You wondered if this were the closest thing you’d get to a divine purpose in life.

Many gods existed, but there was no altar you worshipped at more than Astarion.

“That’s it… thaaat’s it— fuck.”

He bucked ceaselessly, until his hips stuttered one final time and spilled into your mouth. Pulling up a few inches, you held him in your hands among the constant twitching of his length. There was so much of it— his warm cum pooling on your tongue— that it began to leak from a corner of your mouth.

“Swallow it. All of it.”

Astarion clicked his tongue, and swiped what was escaping back between your lips. He sighed with content as you did so, your lips pulling off of him, swollen and sensitive.

“You taste so good, Stari. Mmmh… so good.”

“My love,” he purred, “your tongue… does wondrous things to me. But now I think it’s time we both get what we want. Hm?”

“Yes— yes please…”

Your hands ran up and down Astarion’s firm thighs as his length lay against his sternum, remaining upright as he brought your lips together. Though yours are puffy and swollen, eyes the slightest as well and teary, you’re glowing. Perhaps satisfied and even more aroused because of what you’d done to him, which made his cock swell even more.

Sitting on your knees for as long as you’d been had them aching, nonetheless you sat looking towards the dashing man before you.

“Now… before I give you your reward and lose myself in you— and I will lose myself,” he trails off, dragging his eyes down your figure for a moment, "I need you to know that through all my teasing, I truly love you. I am only saying this because I have every intention of fucking you like I don't.”

“Love you, ‘Starion…” you murmured, your admittance the only thing you could speak aloud amongst the hoarseness of your voice.

Sitting upright for a moment, he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours whilst snaking his tongue into your ever eager mouth. Calculated and strong willed, they collided ceaselessly, his fangs scraping just the slightest against your lip. Each sound you made drove him further, saliva mixing with yours to create an overtaking toxin. Amongst him finally pulling away, you were left yet again craving more of him pressed against you intoxicatingly.

“Now,” your vampire purred, “my little love doesn’t get off that easy.”

Dazed eyes entrance you as Astarion began to inch closer, caging your figure in with his arms the moment your back hit the bedroll. Intensities of his familiar bergamot scent infected your senses wave by wave, unfaltering as he drew in to you.

“Open your legs for me, I want to see you.” he tuts.

Upon his command you spread your legs, one of his thighs then hooking under yours, spreading you open further so he could have a fine look. Astarion clicks his tongue observing the amount of slick still painting your cunt. Fingertips ghost over your inner thigh, making their way up to the crease of your leg and dragging upwards. As soon as they trail over one of your nipples, a desperate mewl escaped your lips.

Entire body aching for him to split you open, to slip into you and finally satiate the urge you’ve both had for continuous days on end. In the moment you thought he was about to tease you more, he used to flip you onto your stomach and press himself into your back. His hardness laid just outside of your dripping cunt, chest pressed against you.

“Arch your back for me.”

Your courteous arch was nothing if not a position Astarion wished to sear into the backs of his eyelids before placing his cool fingertips against the small of your back. Daunting contact that came with all of his touches sent you squirming, entrance aching impatiently for him to satisfy. The same hand he has on your back slowly travels down your thighs to swipe two of his fingers through your slick.

Damn him for moving over your clit while he did so, jolting your body towards him more in sheer desperation. His chuckle was fuel to your fire that burned beneath your skin.

With what arousal of yours he’d collected, Astarion covered himself with it, letting it paint his hardened cock.

“Please…” you murmured breathily.

“What was that, hm? Use your words.”

“P-Please… make me feel good, like no one else can,” you began, “There’s no one else I want as much as I want you. Ruin me, Astarion. Do as you please with me… I am yours.”

“Oh my love, that’s all you had to say.”

His words were punctuated with his cock pushing into you, so deeply nestled into your heat that his tip was right against your perfect spot. Upon his intrusion you clenched, every inch and vein dragging against your deprived walls like no other. Astarion then leaned over so his chest pressed up against your back once more, pulling your hair to grip it in his hand.

His lips pressed to your shoulder as he inhaled your scent. As he pulled his weight off your back, his length pulled out of you until all that was left inside was his tip, before bottoming out inside you again. With your hair in his grip and your figure below him, the pace he began moving at into you was anything but kind.

“Astarion, hnng– gentle…” you whimpered, losing every single train of thought with the way he moved inside you.

“You want gentle?” he scoffs, “Never should’ve teased me, darling.”

His pace never faltered- steady and rough with each kiss of his pelvis to yours. Erotically spreading your slick upon each movement. Bruising were his thrusts, a hand gripping your hair with the other around your waist.

Astarion groans, the entirety of him throbbing as he bucks his hips into you. Feasting on each sound you make and absorbing it all triggers his ears to twitch in their redness. Each time he spears himself inside, a chorus of sounds emerge from your lips. The world spins as you whimper his name, a mumbled mess you’re trying to keep contained. But you’re going limp beneath him, forearms aching before descending yourself to lie on your chest as he takes you. Thrust by thrust splitting you open with his cock shoving against your sweetest spot.

“Gods, you’re so perfect every time… like you were made for me, my love.”

Astarion raises you by the grip on your hair, just enough to push himself in deeper. He’s losing himself by the second, giving you all you deserve. What a naughty minx you’d been, testing his concentration and patience that night. What a gift it felt getting back what you’d done to him, tenfold.

You pant, hazy with lust upon his kissing into your skin. A vast difference than his cold lips against your skin running hot.

“Yes, yes…” you utter, feeling the wave of his pleasure tie itself to yours. It’s consuming, resistless and overtaking, and you aren’t sure how much longer you could hold out.

Once furious you’d teased him to such an extent, Astarion’s mind flies through every emotion he’s experienced whilst being with you. You weren’t just another victim he’d bed and serve up to his master– no. You were his love, the light of his life, and nothing would ever change the way he melted around you. A surge of appreciation builds in him, love, the desperation of it all, every moment with you, that his pace turns to a much slower, deeper one than before. His thrusts halt, pulling out of you before flipping you on your back.

“There’s that gorgeous face.” he purrs before sliding back inside you.

“Astarion…” you call out again.

“That’s it, my little love. Say my name. My sweetest… I love you.”

“I love you, Astarion– ahhg fuck…”

Behind all his endless teasing was this version of your lover, the softest, most caring and dedicated side of him. Everything you’d done was for the both of you, what was romance without a little mischief, anyhow? His intensities bled through to an all consuming side of him you knew had been hidden a few layers deep. Layers that had been pulled out of your view. His tenderness never faltered, until you’d wanted it to.

He leans over you, swallowing the whimper that escapes you when his lips press to yours. Little grunts of desperation vibrate between each kiss you share with him, enamored with every part of him he shows so vulnerably. Your breathing and his deepens once he pulls back, smirking at the image of you blissed out below him. He spears inside you with each thrust, to the hilt over and over against the spot that almost makes you explode all over him.

Astarion, Astarion, Astarion.

His palm trails down your body again, stopping over your pelvis to feel himself inside you from under your skin. It’s erotic, how the tips of his ears redden a generous amount, before pressing kiss after kiss across your cheeks and down your neck.

“I am… infected by you, my sweetest Astarion.”

Your voice rings out sultry, but with a softness you used with only him.

“S-So good, for me– hah… g-gods. Taking it, taking all of me…”

A kiss to your earlobe.

“I can’t get enough of you.” you whisper.

Another kiss to your neck, letting his tongue glide along your skin.

You know he’s salivating at the scent of your arousal, just watching your blood slide under the surface of your skin. Differently than before, he’s looking at you with appreciation in his lust drowned eyes. The squishing sound made while he continues to press into you had been magnified by the level of slick that’d spread from your cunt.

“I love the way you look when I’m inside you.” Another thrust to punctuate his sentence.

Those words alone are enough to fuel the fire inside you, flames of desire burning even more intensely. Every instance where Astarion has brought you to a higher plane of pleasure was marked with his love for you. Your eyes squeeze shut upon his words reverberating in your mind, clit throbbing upon the impact of him surrounding you.

“Let me see those eyes.” he purrs, sliding his palm up your body to cup your chin. With his words, you obey his command, glancing up through eyes star filled and brimming with lust. Your pupils were blown wide, unsurprising to his glance into your glossed over look into him.

“Pretty. So pretty.”

“You’re pretty…” you mumble, moaning again at the wave of pleasure surging inside you. He smiles, flashing his fangs at you and licking his lips.

Inch by inch you light ablaze, sharing your heat with him at the point you two connect. By using your body for his pleasure he’s also bringing you the same, delighted to be given such a thing from him. You were used to the natural chill that filled you when around him, but never something so intense like this.

Perhaps it was the tenday being deprived of his indulgence to pleasure you, the bastard. He knew everything he’d done would lead to this moment– there was no doubt in his mind. When his pleasure began to build, Astarion was reminded of just how much you loved him; to allow him the trust and boundaries to push with you was just another statement to the love you shared.

It made you smile, knowing how hazy you’d become under his touch, the world spinning whilst you looked up at him. Another thrust and his cock was twitching, the drag of his length inside you enough to make you explode then and there.

“Ah– starion… I’m– I…” you gasped.

“I know, my love. I know… I– ah, I won’t make you beg this time. Darling, I want to feel you come around me. Come with me now… I-I can’t hold back anymore.”

Astarion nuzzles against your neck, kissing and sucking into the crevice of your shoulder. Without another word, your eagerness peaks, body exploding while your hips stutter in unison, drenched from each other’s arousal. He releases inside you, spurt after spurt of his warm seed coating your walls. His breath hitches, exhaling next to your ear and you believe this is the most feral and fucked-out he’s ever been. Enamored entirely to another level.

He groans, dropping his torso onto yours whilst the sweat down his body soaks into yours. You sputter his name again, out of breath and his lips find their way up your jaw and to your cheeks. The coolness of his lips helps your breathing slow on the afterglow of however many orgasms you’d had so far. It was timeless no matter how many nights you spent with Astarion like this, there was nothing better. Some of his curls stick to his forehead with how much he’d been sweating, continuously kissing up to your lips.

He connects with yours, fangs scraping against your lips again as the moment changes from passionate to soft in seconds. You can taste it against him, the satisfaction with how he’s made you crumble underneath him. Astarion lets out a quiet hum of appreciation against you, to which you smile.

“I love you, Astarion.”

“And I love you, my dear. Now you see,” he begins, “that is what happens when you get carried away with your incessant teasing.”

He rolls off you, getting comfortable on his side and cups your face, propping his head up in one of his hands. Watching you dotingly as you snuggle up under the blanket of his bedroll.

“You seemed to quite enjoy it, if I’m remembering correctly.”

“You may be right, my dear. Although none of this would’ve happened if you’d’ve just kept your filthy little hands to yourself.”

You can’t help yourself from giggling, the realization of your actions leading to this moment.

“Yes, but… then we wouldn’t have had that glorious moment together just now…”

Astarion’s smirk turns to a smile, his eyes sparkling.

“I suppose so…” The way his hands move over your body is entirely different than how they were before, slow and doting as if touching the most breakable glass.

“Hope I wasn’t too rough with you, darling. Are you feeling alright? Nothing hurting? At least not too much…” He chuckles.

“Well, whether I’m able to walk in the morning is debatable. But, I wouldn’t have signed up for anything I wouldn’t be able to handle. I trust you with my entire self, Star.��

“I’m glad to hear that, although you know I am here for whatever you need. Anything.”

“Anything? You’ve already given me the world… Though, maybe some water?” you ask, smiling up at him. His toothy grin shines back as he reaches for his pack, grabbing a jug he’d put aside.

Your hair, mussed as it is from his manhandling before, splays out messily with a few strands falling in front of your face. Taking a few gulps of the fresh liquid, you’re refreshed even with the fatigue of your activities. As you hydrate yourself, Astarion is gazing lovingly in your direction.

“What’re you staring at?” you asked, a drop of water falling from the corner of your mouth.

“I’m simply enjoying the view. My favorite view.” His lip tugs under his pearly teeth, thumb rising to your face to swipe the drop away. You place the jug down, smiling at his gesture and shuffling your body into his arms.

“Your weeklong stunt proved worth the effort, I have to admit.”

“You mean the stunt that you began?” Astarion chuckles, “Yes, quite worth the effort it seems. I didn’t know how long I’d last at that rate. You’re so very distracting at all hours of the day.”

You both lie on the blanketed ground, head cradled on his chest whilst your fingers absentmindedly draw shapes into his skin.

“And yet you persisted… Glad to know I wasn’t the only one tortured by your teasing.”

“You have no idea.” His arm rubs up and down your back, soothing you into a calm state. It was a naturally relaxing touch to help you wind down.

“I’ll have to think twice next time it pops into my head.” you take a deep breath and settle into his figure, eyes closing peacefully.

“Yes, do, please. For both our sakes. Or don’t… it’ll be more fun that way.”

“We’ll see about that.” you mumbled, already drifting off to sleep.

“Indeed we will, my love. Indeed we will.”

#devnmon writes #ryes ff #astarion x tav #astarion smut #astarion x reader #astarion fanfic #astarion bg3 #bg3 smut #dividers by cafekitsune #astarion x fem!reader

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emrys-and-his-king · 2 days ago

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Alright, and here's the dessert platter... I brought a lot out

I think we have quite similar taste, canon era, some nice light stuff, and a good confession of course

Harkening back to season one for some reason reminds me of the different first meeting style fics (which I really like) so those are going to have their own section in case you like 'em :} Also added a section for the ones tagged humor, not fluff, I still included my favs bc humor is adjacent to fluff in my mind

Straight (Well Gay, Actually) Up Fluff

A Royal Portrait by mobycotton (Arthur is adorkable... it's great.)

Be my husband by Theroundbartable (They go live on a farm for some time, Arthur has some realizations, it's adorable.)

sleepy by Theroundbartable (Merlin is eepy. Arthur takes care of him, it's very cute.)

Goodnight, I Love You by MerlinLikeTheBird (Silly sleepy Merlin.)

It's Possible (For a Plain Country Bumpkin and a Prince to Join in Marriage) by AeonTheDimensionalGirl (Also silly and cute, 'cinderella elements' is a tag and you know, enjoy that.)

In Which Arthur Gets Jealous of an Owl by AeonTheDimensionalGirl (Tagged s01 e04 so you should at least be able to read this one, it's silly and cute of course.)

Sunrise in Ealdor, Sunset in Camelot by mobycotton (It's so cute, featuring tag: 'arthur in his cottage core arc.')

Language by Theroundbartable (A good and silly time.)

Happy Birthday by platonic_boner (Birthday fluff, first kiss, great stuff.)

Destiny Ordered You to Die, But I Willed You to Live by ironfamjam (Arthur's realizations go brr.)

The Truth Always Comes to Light by AliceTheBrave (The truth come out... anyway curses and confessions, very cute.)

Good Fortune by platonic_boner (Just some Merlin doing a great job and fluff ofc.)

Arthur Enchanted by platonic_boner (Phrasing is very important here, wonderful pining and tension.)

Humor/Attempt at Humor

Catching Bees with Honey by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle (Confused Arthur & Merlin having a great time.)

Made of Memories by dryalis 1 (This one has a little angst, but I loved it and it's tagged humor and I don't remember it being heavy or anything, so give it a go if it sounds interesting to you. Extra note, my ao3 notes say it's very cute too.)

Talk to Me by InkThroughHerVeins (A little Arthur angst never hurt anyone, that's how you get the pining to bleed through... still light, still cute.)

The Great Feast and the Missing Manservant by OberonBronze (Such silly, much good.)

All is Semblative by Whitefox (Cinderella Merlin again? More likely than you think.)

Next to You (It's the Rule) by LunaMyLove (This is such a classic, it's so good, it's hilarious and adorable.)

That's His Name by ZairaA (So cute, their interactions are great, Arthur is adorable.)

Different First Meeting

Mad World by Theroundbartable (Not super fluffy, but not dark either, their interactions and Arthur's character is great and I really enjoyed reading it.)

Determination by diner_drama (What if Merlin wasn't his manservant? The pining is so much worse and pathetic. It's great.)

Merlin Wings and Golden Kings by PurpleFlyingBird (Bird Merlin :>)

The Sun begged "love me" and the Moon replied "I did" by TooAwkwaardToFunction (This was absolutely adorable.)

Woad Blue by MerlinLikeTheBird (Also not super fluffy, not heavy either, I didn't think I would like this one very much at the get go, don't remember all too much except that I loved it and binged it so fast.)

We Can Hide Together, Among the Roses by infinitemerlin (These were my ao3 notes on this one... -Lots of Arthur pining after Merlin--and it's adorable--while fighting his upbringing. & Thought you liked florist and tattoo arist? Check this shit out. It's a florist and a prince.)

Oblivious by s0mmerspr0ssen (They're stupid you're honor, I love them.)

Please Hate Me, I am Difficult to Love (Loving You is Like Breathing) by portently (Awww they're in the forest and they're cute and it's sweet.)

Other/Misc

The Drawbacks of Dragon Lord-ing by SnufflesThePig (This one isn't finished, it doesn't quite fits any of the earlier boxes by I loved this one and found it adorable.)

Prized Possesion by Sonayesul (In the same vein, is finished, also amazing, and does contain a confession.)

Hiemal by icallyoumoonchild (Fluff, but that's not a tag so it's down here, confession included of course, getting together, sharing clothes... what more could you ask for?)

It's Magic, I Can Tell by Sonayesul (It's very silly and cute, so you know, it's on here too.)

Emrys the Really, Truly Terrible by lindenwaverly (This one is so silly, it's great.)

THE RULES by Slayer_of_Destiny (Also a classic, very good, very silly.)

im watching bbc merlin for the first time and wdym merlin and arthur already had a break up by ep 2 😭

yall weren’t exaggerating about how gay they are

#so whoopsidasy #that turned out very long #hope y'all enjoy it though #it was a lot of fun to go through all my bookmarked stuff and pick out my favorites (as pertains to the types of fic being talked about)#i'm really going to have reread some of these #it ended up so long but i just couldn't leave some of these out they're all so good to me #anyway enjoy!#rook recs #merlin fic recs #merthur #merthur fic recs

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keepthedelta · 4 hours ago

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#in general i find the whole racing versus winning thing to be very interesting#and the way some drivers believe in the sanctity of racing and others believe in the sanctity of winning fascinates me

Deltinha can you expand on this concepts? I got fascinated by them after reading the tags.

Thanks!

it kind of started when i listened to some of the sky sports podcasts where they were talking about the mclaren team orders situation. and i found what jenson said versus what nico said to be very interesting.

jenson was defending mclaren's policy of just letting their drivers fight it out on track, arguing that the racing was what the sport was supposed to be about. but then when nico was asked about it (on a different episode) he argued that mclaren should be using team orders to help lando because the point of the championship was to win, and you have to take every advantage you have because you don't know if or when you're going to get another chance.

and it made total sense to me that each of them was making that particular argument given who each of them is. jenson's whole thing is racecraft, he has such a unique driving style and was so admired for his racecraft even when he wasn't the fastest driver that it made sense for him to value the actual racing element above anything else. when he was talking about the team orders and mclaren's history of not issuing team orders, he said that he and lewis took wins off of each other, and if they'd been given team orders one of them probably could have won a championship [during the vettel/red bull dominance years]. but i think jenson could only say that because he already got his fairytale championship in 2009, and because he has canada 2011 to his name. if he didn't have those, particularly the wdc, i think he would look at his mclaren years very differently. and although jenson beat lewis across a season, lewis was overall the stronger driver, and if mclaren had given team orders, it's quite likely jenson would have been the one ordered to help lewis rather than the other way around. so in that sense, mclaren not having team orders and prioritising the "racing" helped jenson out a lot.

equally i think it makes total sense that nico values the winning over the racing. he spent a very long time being a very good driver in very bad cars, and when he finally got a good car, he had to face off against the most successful driver of all time. so it makes sense that the racing is not enough for nico, because it was never enough to be good, or even great, it was important to win. all of the effort he put in, the extremes he went to were not about becoming a better racer, they were about winning, and being able to call himself a champion. since retiring he's said that the only part of formula one he missed was winning, and although he's remained a part of the racing world, he's never raced again, unlike jenson who has raced in multiple other series. in the end it was the winning that fulfilled nico, and once he had that, he felt able to explore other worlds. additionally, i think nico's insecurities/self-esteem issues really affect this. he said in an interview that he didn't believe in himself at all throughout his career. while other drivers have talked about the need to view themselves as the best driver, and believe that given the right circumstances they can be champion, nico talked about how he never believed that, and so the thing that kept him going was his commitment to it. he committed to that championship 100% because he believed in the value of it. and that's why i think he argued that mclaren should have given team orders to help lando because he believes in the inherent value of a championship and of winning, and believes that you should commit to that, even if you don't win, rather than hoping the win comes to you.

there are some drivers that talk about racing as a priority and some that talk about winning as a priority, and i think it's interesting to see which is which, and why they've come to that conclusion. and with charles specifically, i think it would be incredibly interesting to see him choose between winning with anyone for the sake of winning over the possibility of winning with ferrari because of the ferrari of it all. what matters more to him, a championship, or a potential championship with ferrari?

#delta help desk

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putschki1969 · 2 days ago

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Kalafina Anniversary Live 2025 Pamphlet HQ Scans Part 1

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Google Drive Link

👉 For PERSONAL USE ONLY 👉 CREDIT me and LINK to my blog if you use/share 👉 SUPPORT Kalafina | BUY the pamphlet

Interview with Keiko

--This will be Kalafina's first live performance in about seven years. How did you feel when you found out that the concert was going to be held?

“After each of us had pursued our solo activities, all I felt was a sense of joyful anticipation when it was decided that the three of us would be able to sing together again. I had always been following the other two's activities during the time we were apart so it felt like those seven years had passed before I knew it. Right now, I'm singing with a sense of purpose but originally I wasn't really interested in going solo, instead I was looking for a place where I could make use of my distinctive voice and feel needed. For me, Kalafina was a perfect match for what I was looking for so it's a great joy to be able to sing with the two of them again.”

--How did you feel when the three of you first got together to sing during a live rehearsal?

“Everyone was nervous for about 30 minutes on the first day of rehearsal and I think we were all looking at each other's singing, seeking some sort of confirmation, like 'how long should this note be?' Of course we have the music sheets to rely on but Kalafina's live performances are made up of a lot of improvisations created by the three of us working together. So even during rehearsals we don't just sing everything according to the music sheets. There were moments when we silently tried to gauge each other's feelings about certain sections, like, 'I'm sure we stretched this part out, didn't we?' or 'We should sing this part differently from the music sheet, right?' All of this made me think, 'Ah yes, that is Kalafina! It feels so good to be back!' I honestly had a lot of fun.”

--It's heartwarming, right? The way you can communicate without saying anything is made possible because the three of you have been working together for such a long time.

“And as soon as we remembered the way we used to feel there was no longer any need to check on each other. It really is as they say, once you get your body used to doing something, it's not easy to forget, no matter how much time passes.”

--Did you notice any changes in your singing style after doing many different things for six years?

“Of course there are aspects which are different but when all three of us come together to sing Kalafina songs, we naturally adjust our vocal power and vocalisation techniques to bring us closer to Kalafina's style, so to be honest, it felt like we were the same as before but maybe that's just my opinion. Actually, before rehearsals started, I thought that since we were getting together again after pursuing our solo activities, our singing style might change completely. But that wasn't the case at all, I felt like all three of us were cherishing the feeling of singing Kalafina songs.”

--You were able to get back on track so quickly because you had Kalafina's music as your base.

“Yes, I think so. In recent years, all three of us have been trying out a variety of songs and styles as soloists, searching for new ways of vocalisation and expression, but when it comes to Kalafina's music, we have already perfected a harmonious singing voice, so it was simply a matter of going back to our roots, this specific sound that's ingrained in us. From my perspective, I think the other two are singing in a different way than when they are doing their solo stuff.”

--What do you think of Wakana and Hikaru's vocal appeal?

“Once again, I realised that both of their voices have a solid presence. Kalafina's songs are centered around vocals and their most unique feature is a difficult melody that's hard to maintain. That's why if the voices don't have a strong presence, the impression of the vocals fades. Especially in the parts where our voices are not overlapping, or there's a transition between one voice and the other or even just a change of melody, if each voice doesn't have a strong presence, it will get drowned out. There is no such weakness in their vocals. And when I add my lower harmonies, I'm able to further highlight the greatness of the lyrics and melody. I was able to once again feel that beautiful balance between us.”

--All of Kalafina's songs have a unique worldview. Because it is so well-constructed, it's easy to get immersed in the world of those songs, isn't it?

“Every time we sing a song, I feel like a switch is turned on and I get carried away on a flood of emotions. Also, even the soft parts in the interludes can actually be important phrases that lead to a greater development, I think that's the appeal of Kalafina songs, the tension just continues uninterrupted. During these rehearsals, I realised once again that Kalafina's music is one-of-a-kind.”

--Even when you listen to it, it makes you want to hold your head up high and straighten your back. What are your feelings towards your fans right now?

“We are filled with so much gratitude that everyone can spend this moment with us, a moment that feels like a dream come true when we are finally able to sing together one more time. Everyone has their own feelings and associations when it comes to Kalafina's music, whether it's about specific songs, about an album, or how our activities have overlapped with their own lives. A live concert is when people with all kinds of feelings come together and enjoy music in the same space, and I think that in itself is a miracle. As the concert is being held in January, we want it to be a night of hope and a new start.”

--The dresses for today's photo shoot are white and the atmosphere is bright.

“There's a strong sparkling and euphoric vibe, right? *laughs* The photographer and art director took so many wonderful shots that I think they must be magicians who can manipulate light. Light is one of Kalafina's keywords, be it a ray of light in the darkness, a light of hope in our hearts or a light pouring down from the sky, all sorts of expressions of light have appeared in our songs. I think the photos turned out to be very Kalafina-esque and really fit our image.”

#kalafina #kalafina scans #my scans #scans #kalafina reunion #kalafina anniversary live 2025 #my translation #translation

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zeekszooks · 16 hours ago

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The only thing I want my ai robot to do that might be considered "pattern watching" and "generative" would be a Baymax.

Basically using a data log with trial and error in order to just be kind of a care robot. Though technology now is WAY too under advanced and at this point should send people to doctors rather than y'know play doctor?

Also this 'Baymax' would also HAVE to be made by doctors like reason why the Baymax we know took trial and error. (Honestly in the movie 84 tries is a mindblowingly low for success good on him tho.) Though that's the difference. Real life Baymax is not a replacement to the real deal human... as well as the tool that doctors use.

Humans are still needed and it is a tool to assist. It shouldn't replace the entire process. I say the only time the genertive is ok is IF you don't literally copy and paste then say you did all the work. You either use it as a reference or guide to improve your craft.

Also I don't respect AI that is programmed by artwork that was unvoluntary. It's like hearing the quiet kid say a joke then saying it louder and not saying 'oh I was just saying it louder _ is a hoot right guys?' Like those artist didn't want you to take and use their art without credit.

Though even WITH credit it's pretty ... well scummy... like... honestly I'd compare it to more like the Honey extention. You didn't ask you didn't tell and boy howdy even if you did tell you really shouldn't have. ... no really...

The first one I mentioned COULD be like a walking 911 machine for the human if they... like are close to hard attack or stoke ect to get humans... the whole point is the end result is human doing the thing. If AI did the whole task it gets rid of the humanity... and charm... and art... is very much a 'Why did you put this here what is the meaning nice brush what settings?' (VERY MUCH SO WITH ABSTRACT TOO.)

Artist help artist grow. AI helps me get very uninterested in the your art because there was no well... choice, with symbolism or anything. No, 'Why did they put this here?' Not even a, 'Is that a style choice? It seems consistant enough though I might ask if it's a headcannon or possibly an au!'

It's just:

Me: "Oh cool what brush did you use I wanna try it out to try myself!"

Random Person: "It's AI good prompt right?"

Me: "Uh neat. Gonna use it as a reference?"

Random Person: "Nope this is it. I could NEVER draw. You people are just born with a talent."

Me: "Huh."

My inner monolouge: They are not going to improve their craft? Like at all? Practice is all it takes... this is boring now I can't even think on why they chose a heart instead of a star because it was probably an AI error.

Me: "Cool thx bye."

Also... btw I wasn't born with the art skills I have... it takes a lot to improve. Also I still think I can improve. (Artist curse trying not to say I suck)

I don't know if Op agrees but just know I'm agreeing people are using it poorly but also not for a better use. I do think Op prefers a human making the art in the end at least.

i wonder if these ai people are thinking that im gonna be like "aahh!! you're right!! ive been such a fool !! certainly i can tell a robot to make something for me and it'll be just as good as something i can make with my own hands!! thank you, group of buffoons!" im not man. im really not

#no ai art #no stealing #just do it #ai tools #generative #not art #rant post

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hustlemeanokay · 17 hours ago

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Solavellan vs Dread Rook? When did it become a competition? Ship all the ships, I say.

So as much as people like Solavellan (or whatever they call it) - I don't get why people don't like Solas x Rook. It's all there. It's perfect. The tension, the range, the enemies to lovers trope or hell, just the potential for so much writing to be involved. Like, okay... so okay... I go into my personal opinions about what makes each of their relationships different (just a few opinions not like power point presentation style or anything).

When I first played Inquisition, when it first came out, I naturally picked an elf and unknowingly romanced the bald dude. And Solas' romance is a good one. But it's only good because he leaves Lavellan. It's the first time that's happened to a player character in either DA or ME games. A legit breakup. With, at the time, no real reason! It wasn't until after the game, of course, that we were like "OMG!!!" But on the whole, there really wasn't a lot to their romance if you remember what actually happened in the game. But you have to ignore all the fan fiction and fan art that has been done in the decade since then. Just counting the game itself? Not a lot going on there. A couple of kisses, a couple of talks, and that's about it really.

And the whole time, he wasn't being who he really was. He was playing a part. He was Solas version soft-core, so to speak. Because while he may not have started calling himself the 'Dread Wolf', he very much is that person. Solas is prideful. He is a bit of an asshole. He is cold and calculating. The Solas we see in the memories in Veilguard was already turning into that person so the Solas that meets Lavellan is 100% already there. He uses her. The fact that he falls in love with her has very little to do with him using her, he can compartmentalize like that. As Cole says, it changes everything but it can't. But, point being, Lavellan never really got to know him. He always had a mask on. Was always so careful about what he said and how he said it as to not raise suspicion.

But with Rook? Oh, he's pissed. Gone is his careful way of speaking. Gone is his gentle tone and light smile. Rook gets Solas unfiltered. Solas without a mask. Solas the Dread-fucking-Wolf. There's still parts of him that are recognizable. But on the whole, he's more real. Because he's not worried about pretending to be something he's not. Rook knows what he is. Rook knows he's going to betray them, knows he's going to turn on them, is expecting it. (And Solas' manipulations are painfully transparent, with the exception of Varric). What he's worried about with Rook is keeping their blood-magic link in tact and molding them into someone the prison will accept (still not sure how that worked but w/e). But as far as when he talks to them? Sees them? Rook gets under his skin and he slips up and lets it show. He nearly misspeaks almost immediately and he does misspeak later. Rook does that to him. Because he's not keeping himself at arms length with them, he can't.

So the idea of Solas x Rook? Much more... real, than Solavellan to me. Does that mean I have zero fics with Solas x Lavellan? Hell no. I have like at least half a dozen with different Lavellans x Solas. But! What it means is that the relationship between Rook and Solas is very intriguing and compelling and is definently fic-fuel. It means that I already have 2 separate fics WIP for them.

You don't have to stand on either side of this line, you can draw a big circle, stand inside of it and clutch both Solavellan and Dread Rook tightly to your chest with you. I'm not sure why there's this insistence that you have to pick one. You've never had to pick one. That's what having multiple OC's is all about. That's how that works.

#dragon age #dragon age inquisition #dragon age veilguard #solas x lavellan #solas x rook #dread rook #solrook #solavellan #solas dragon age #solas #shipping #shipping discourse

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storkmuffin · 3 days ago

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I have no specific question but this is a free space to share whatever you'd like regarding ateez! Genuinely love reading your posts, so I'm sorry that I interact so much! 😭 when you do learn more about Mingi would love to hear your thoughts on him and especially how he presents his masculinity in difference from someone like Seonghwa or San!

Why in the world are you sorry you interact with me at any volume? THE MORE THE BETTER. I wouldn't be posting gigantic essays on Tumblr if I wasn't trying to send up a beacon for someone to please, please interact with me.

Since you're Mingi oriented and I'm just getting started on Mingi, here are some blurted thoughts.

Mingi's sound: Mingi's general rap style is what's described as 호통, which yelling at a high volume with the intention of telling someone off. I don't generally enjoy this sound. However, I've realized that though he sounds initially like he's hollering, his voice is actually much more expressive and plaintive than that. Part of this comes from me just not knowing how to 'hear' rap. Music may be innate to the human soul, but I know from experience that in order to get the most out of a specific art form, you actually need to learn what to pay attention to. The more I listen for what Mingi may be trying to do within the 'worlds' created by Eden-ary's songs, the more I think he might be the sonic and rap equivalent of Seonghwa when he does his narration-through-mime creations in his silent dance sequences.

The "role" that Mingi plays in a lot of the songs is to be like, the subconscious to HongJoong's id, to express the emotional, heart-centered reaction to HongJoong's analytical, in-his-head perceptions and conclusions, and be the private no-holds-barred self that bursts through when enough is enough. And the other thing I'm thinking now, after more open minded and detailed observation, is that he's not actually shouting much of the time. He's just really big, and his voice is big. When he's actually shouting, you can tell that he's really shouting, but he isn't always shouting, you know? He just uhhh has a lot of testosterone, is all.

Mingi's dance: Ateez members have talked about how when Wooyoung first joined (and he joined last) Mingi found him very threatening, as a dancer. They had 'similar' styles, allegedly, that observers at the time all agreed on. I found this very strange because since I only found them in the Ice On My Teeth era, I just hadn't seen any similarity at all between Mingi and Wooyoung. I actually had wondered at how little the members seemed to have in common. At first glance, Mingi should not be in the same group, sonically nor visually, as Jongho, and what Yunho does just doesn't seem to go with how Wooyoung runs his on stage persona and they also don't look like they should be standing next to each other, and so on. If I had to find similiarity between Wooyoung and Mingi's way of moving, it would've been that they're both very macho, very masculine, and are not doing the balletic and modern dance coloring that Seonghwa and especially San put on everything.

BUT THEN the whole, uh, Mingi in tight suit pants happened and I had an awakening like, HOLY SHIT HE DANCES REALLY SENSUALLY WHEN HE WANTS TO. And he's fast, like Wooyoung. And he is light and allegro and a jumper, like Wooyoung. He moves in boxes and lines, like Wooyoung, rather than in circles and curves like San and Yunho. (I hope I don't sound insane). And Mingi being this way as a dancer is arresting because he's physically very big, and generally big dancers are not light nor allegro.

... And now I've done it again. I did not mean to write this essay but here we are.

#mingi meta #ateez meta #mingi ask #ateez ask #ateez #song mingi #mingi ateez

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leviathan-supersystem · 23 hours ago

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never ever use "google is free" or "it's not my job to educate you" style arguments. this mode of argument is usually associated with the 2014 tumblr sj crowd, but I've seen people across the political spectrum use it. right-wingers usually phrase it as "look it up yourself [slur]" but it's the same basic concept. no idea why it's so popular given that it's a terrible debate tactic.

if someone tries to pull the "look it up yourself" card, you can just. Do That. lmao. look up a source that contradicts their claim, boom. done.

for example, one time one of those "race, crime, and iq" freaks was trying to argue that the rise in homicide rates over the 70's and 80's was due to the end of segregation/Jim crow laws, to which I responded:

"homicide rates were similarly high in the 1900's, 10's, 20's, and early 30's [note: I posted a chart to back this up, his chart didn't go back further than the 40's] its obvious to anyone who isn't an irrational freak blinded by racial hatred that the reason for the low homicide rate in the 40's and 50's is that a massive portion of young men were at war/had died in WWII, and that the rising homicide rate in the 60's onward was a result of the gender ratio returning to the previous norm, and hence the homicide rate of the previous norm"

when pushed to explain the high homicide rate in the early 20th century, when segregation was in full force, he couldn't, eventually resorting to "I don't fucking know, but I DO know that the high homicide rate of the early 20th century wasn't the norm, but a deviation from the norm, and the crime rate in the 1800's was lower"

to which of course I responded "source on the crime rate in the 1800's being lower?" and then he hit me with the "look it up yourself r****d"

then of course I immediately found a chart showing the crime rate was even higher in the 1800's, and posted that chart with the commentary "hey so I looked it up and it says you're wrong and also a moron? wow I'm learning so much" (I always say "wow I'm learning so much" in this situation, to be a bit of a cunt about it) after which he had no choice but to sheepishly flee the debate with his tail between his legs.

while the various sources I found were generally in agreement that the homicide rate was higher in the 1800's, even if this hadn't been the case, and there was disagreement between sources, I still ccould have been able to cherry-pick a source that supported my argument in that situation. which is why the "go google it" approach to debate is so weak, you've given the other person a blank check to decide what sources are credible, and if they can find even *one* source to back themselves up/cobtradict you then they win. if you post your own sources instead of telling your opponent to run and get them for you, then *you* get to decide what sources are credible. if you use the "go google it" line you've ceded that completely.

the only scenario where using this tactic wouldn't be likely to backfire like this is if Every Single Source corroborates the claim, in which case. just post some of those sources? instead of telling them to find them themselves? you can even still pull the "scolding them for not looking it up" shtick while you do, in fact you have more leverage to scold them for not looking it up, since you just demonstrated how easy it was for you. "look how easy it was for me to find these sources, why couldn't you manage it?" etc.

this, of course, all relates back to my point about how you should be fact-checking any claim your opponent makes. so any time you ask "source?" you should have already tried to find a source that corroborates their claim and been unable to, so when they try to pull the "just google it and you'll see that I'm right" card you'll already know they're lying, and maybe you'll even already have a source contradicting them ready to go.

how do you get good at debating? how do you put on a cruel stage show? how do you get practice identifying the buckling points in someone’s argument as it happens?

the first and most important part is to read some currently occurring debates on the topic so you know what current talking points are in circulation. this is the absolute most important part, if you don't do this nothing else matters, even if you're smart and well-read in general if you don't know what people are saying in the discourse about that specific topic Right Now then you're going to be playing catch-up and being caught off guard.

at any given time The Discourse on any given topic is mostly composed of like, 12 talking points just getting churned around and repeated back and forth. learn what the best arguments are for the side you agree with, learn what the rebuttals are to the arguments from the opposing side, and if any arguments from the opposing side don't already have ready-made rebuttals, try to see if you can craft a rebuttal of your own to that point from scratch. that way you'll go into every debate basically already knowing what they're going to say and having a ready-to go rebuttal for every point. you can even just copy-paste your rebuttals if you highlight that you're doing that, i do that with my rebuttal against the ancap "achktually, the REAL definition of capitalism is-" argument, and the fact that i'm copy-pasting the same block of text and it works flawlessly every single time just makes their argument look even worse.

If an opponent makes any given claim, don't just assume it's true. look it up. especially if they don't have a source, but even if they do have a source, look up other sources on that topic and see if their source has already be debunked. so often i see someone just outright lie in a debate, and the other person just continues the debate assuming their lie was true.

i'm not immune to this myself, i was arguing with that guy who said "ahaha well palestinians are majority shia and yemenis are majority sunnis and sunnis HATE shi'ites, so yemenis don't even actually care about palestinians, they just hate jews!" and i wrote a whole rebuttal assuming the claim about sunni/shia demographics in those regions was true and then i looked up the statistics on shia/sunni demographics in palestine and yemen, not even trying to debunk or fact-check him, only to find that palestine and yemen are both majority sunni! palestine has a *larger* sunni majority even! so i had to go back and delete my whole response and replace it with "palestine is majority sunni you cretin." just assuming an opponent's factual claims are true without checking them is one of the most rookie mistakes out there, but no matter how much experience you have you can still fall into it if you don't check yourself.

since no ideology can ever perfectly capture reality, every single ideology has certain facts that they can't address adequately. figure out which facts these are for your opponent's ideology and repeat them as often as possible, demand your opponent address them and don't let them try to change the subject when they can't.

for example, there is no way for the conventional anti-communist narrative of "marxism-leninism was bad for everybody, it's fundamentally a failure as an economic system" to account for the fact that the majority of russians consistently say in polls that socialism was better than capitalism and that the soviet union was the greatest time in the history of russia. if you just keep coming back to this fact they'll just keep getting more stressed out and trying to dodge that topic in more desperate ways.

ideologies will also oftentimes have internal inconsistencies, you can also just keep bringing the conversation back to these and watch your opponent squirm. also, conversely, if there are any inconsistencies in your own views, correct these so your opponent can't do this to you. there are plenty of right-wingers who get a lot of mileage by pointing to the dissonance between gun control and other popular progressive positions ("how are you going to condemn the police and then say only cops should have guns?" etc) and by simply being adamantly pro-gun and against gun-control i can basically become impervious to those arguments. they keep using those arguments and i just say "well i'm against gun control" and it shuts them down completely.

similarly a lot of these arguments that hinge on pointing out hypocrisy/incongruity on the other side are directly mirrored by an inverted hypocrisy/incongruity on their own. while the right-wingers are correct to point to an incongruity in the popular progressive "anti-cop, pro-gun control" position, this incongruity is mirrored by an equal incongruity in the "pro-cop, anti-gun control" position which is popular among right-wingers ("if you think we need guns to overthrow the government, why do you want the agents of that government better armed and equipped? who do you think enforces the gun control laws you decry?" etc)- if you jump into the fray of this discourse with an "anti-cop, anti-gun control" position, you can hammer the right-winger on their inconsistency while remaining invulnerable to attempts to do the same to you. similarly if any more mainstream liberals want to try to start shit with you you can also point to the incongruity/hypocrisy of their position while remaining impervious to retaliation.

i'm using gun control as an example, but you can apply this sort of tactic to basically any discourse where two sides are mutually accusing each other of hypocrisy/incongruity. they're probably both right to a degree, and you can get a lot of mileage by crafting a position more internally consistent than either side of the debate.

also, anyone who tries to convince you you should only argue in a vacuum is dumb as hell, your opponents previously stated opinions are completely relevant to the conversation, especially if they suggest that their currently stated positions in the debate are insincere or hypocritical. if someone is debating israel/palestine with you, and they say "the hamasniks don't represent the interested of the palestinian people- it is israel, ultimately, who does, and the hamas extremists are just disrupting this peace and making things worse for everyone." it's absolutely relevant if a week ago they were posting "all arabs are subhuman dogs who must be exterminated, islam is an inherently violent religion which no society should tolerate" and so on and so forth.

if you're arguing about a topic with someone, search that topic on their blog and see what else they've had to say about it. people will whine about "poisoning the well fallacy" but that's obviously just a fake "fallacy" attempting to ban an entirely legitimate debate tactic. yes, if someone is insincere in making an argument, that absolutely reflects badly on their argument, and their previous track record absolutely can demonstrate if they're insincere, it's stupid for them to go "uh uh uh poisoning the well fallacy, you can't point out that i'm a lying little shit, you have to pretend i'm not" and everyone who sees the debate will know it's stupid for them to do this. if you've effectively revealed someone as a liar, they won't be able to redeem their reputation in anyone's eyes by saying "well you're not allowed to prove i'm a liar" no matter how hard they try.

idk thats the stuff i can think of off the top of my head, i'll try to add more if i can think of anything.

#longpost #discourse

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