#i was getting ready for work (smoking weed) and did not realize until seconds after i hit send 😐

[anotherpapercut]

hey y'all I have another favor to ask you. a trans employee at a Polk County, Missouri library was recently thrust into the public debate literally just for wearing a pronoun pin and being trans while doing a storytime for a couple of families. if you've got a minute please consider sending a quick message of support for the employee and for the library publicly standing by him

[justanotherwhineforattention]

Being Zen Doesn't Make You Not a Bitch

I dropped out my senior year after becoming homeless due to my parent's stubbornness and ignorance. I had also been working full-time my entire high school career and for a brief time two jobs on top of having a pretty good attendance record until I hit junior year. I was also at the ripe age of 14 basically fully raising my sister who at this time was 11. I had been picking up a lot of my parent's slack since I was around 8, and don't get me wrong I regret nothing in fact she is my biggest success, I am not complaining just wish I got a little more credit for what I did accomplish, instead of straight denial from everyone but Tally. I obviously wish I had finished that stupid school year but at the same time, I have experienced so much and learned a ton of lessons in the last three years that I would not trade. Well, you know how everyone has that one family member your parents always used as a lie lesson? Well hi, I am her, I don't know if it was the tattoos, piercings, dyed hair, dropping out, smoking weed, drinking, or maybe that I am now a very proud exotic dancer, but whatever I did to earn that title it really fucking stuck. I am totally cool with that though, alright, enough of the back story, let's get into my day. I attended my baby sister's high school graduation today, and oh my god I am so goddamn proud of her, I am not going to lie I may have choked back some tears. Like I said that is my child. Anyway, we all cheered and screamed like we were not in a sea of people just there to make memories throughout the ceremony. I should also point out that my sister has been staying with my shitty grandmother and the rest of the judgemental clan whose simple existence makes me cringe with hatred. This was the best place for her on account of the private education she was getting from a school in the area. I have not talked to these people for a very long time because I handle idiocracy and hypocrisy in a horrible manner and do not want unnecessary negativity affecting the life I am pursuing and have already gained since going no contact. However, they made their appearance today on her big day and my oh so calm and collected cousin did not leave her pettiness at home. Let me give you the rundown on Skylin. Skylin had always been a golden child, graduated from a private school with a waiting list, got great grades, could only dream of going to the slum public schools I did, is four days older than me, got a job, and immediately started saving, went to college, but still dreams of being an original rebel of some sorts but screams bisexual hipster bitch you would meet in any "low-key" coffee shop. She makes her way over to me and my parents and paternal grandparents who are trying to get some good pictures of her big accomplishment and decides now is the great time to get her shot in. She gets all close behind me, "Wow Tally, how does it feel to be the first graduate in your family" her pretentious voice cracking down on my eardrums. I could feel my arm lift ready to 180 smack the absolute fuck out of this dumbass with a superiority complex. But alas I was not going to ruin this for my baby and so I walked away in complete silence outside. I was trying to calm myself before the feral unstable crazy came spewing out, and I did not want to catch an assault charge on someone who wasn't worth a second thought. But all I could think was wow for someone who feels like they are just so cool, and supportive of everyone she really needs to realize she is actually just an overambitious cunt.

[eremiie]

hi PLEASE i neee stoner eren amd stoner reader😩

high off of you

❥ 8k words | nsfw | eren x reader

❥ you’re dragged to a smoke session by your roommate, and you actually enjoy yourself— maybe a little more than you should have; and eren jaeger is to blame.

❥ content: choking, lowkey breeding kink ish, praise kink, slight orgasm denial, overstimulation, drugs (weed)

content.

content is how you were feeling.

you had just gotten done with your shower, your covers were finally draped over your almost bare legs, your laptop was sat in your lap and you had put your hair up to get it out of the way. you were relaxed, you were calm, and you had decided you were gonna finish off your night with an episode of your favorite show, no matter how many times you had saw it.

"c'mon, we're going to get high."

your peaceful vibe was interrupted, and in the most abrupt manner your roommate could muster; he swung the door open not even bothering to knock, leaned against the doorframe and let his eyes survey your slightly mess room before landing on you and giving you the most goofy grin.

"connie, what the fuck?" you frowned and went to pause your show only to realize you hadn't even started it. with a sigh you looked back up at connie with clear irritation written across your face.

"what? don't you want to get high?"

"i just got out of the shower, i'm in bed now," you moved your laptop and threw the covers off of your legs and pointed to your shorts. "i have pajamas on and i was about to watch my show, no i don't want to get high right now." wasn't that the obvious? you couldn't lie, the offer was tempting since you weren't the one paying, and it gave you the opportunity to see your friends again, but the getting ready process had made you shove the offer down.

as if on cue connie seemed to read your mind. "you don't have to get cute or anything. it's literally just our regular smoke circle. just throw on a jacket and let's go."

you groaned and leaned your head back letting your arm drape over your eyes. "didn't we just come from sasha's house earlier this week? who the hell is supplying y'all this fast?" you tried to come up with an excuse to stay home, but connie was clearly one step ahead of you.

"it's not sasha's house it's eren's." the stupid sly grin on his face appeared and he leaned further into your room already knowing he had you trapped. he knew, much like the rest of the friend group about the undying tension between you and eren, but nobody could pinpoint exactly what it was. it wasn't that the two of you necessarily liked each other but you were... friendlier than friendly best friends. eren and you would flirt with each other more often than not and were very hands on. not to mention how excited you'd get when you got to see him, and vice versa.

connie didn't even give you the chance to respond to that comment, your answer was evident just by the way your attention spiked at the mention of eren's name, and the way your body stiffened in the slightest. he shut the door to wait for you and couldn't help but laugh at your feeble attempt of getting out of a session with your circle.

you lost, and you were slightly upset. any other words in your defense were stuck down your throat, and connie was already long down the hall. the only thing you were able to mention was a loud, "and knock next time, dumbass!" before you did as he said, grabbing your jacket and slipping out the door with connie.

that's how you handed up where you were now, at eren's shared apartment with mikasa and armin, although mikasa's car was missing from the parking lot.

"i love the outfit. it's giving me very much... hobo." connie looked you up and down stifling a laugh while the two of you waited at the door after the first ring.

you followed his eyes looking yourself up and down as well. you did look a little silly, black crew socks with crocs over top. you didn't even take it upon yourself to zip up your jacket all the way, the black fabric draping off your shoulder on one side revealing your shoulder only adorned by a single white strap to your cropped tank top. of course the jacket was a little big, covering your sleep shorts slightly. you weren't even sure if the jacket was yours.

"shut the fuck up." you kicked connie with your croc and he hissed, grabbing his shin before being a fool and hopping towards the door some more, spamming the doorbell.

"help! i'm getting abused!" and in that moment you wondered how you managed to share an apartment with the clown.

connie's ringing only stopped when the door flew open, sasha's figure standing there with a small smile. "hey!" her tone was cheery and loud as she grabbed connie's hand pulling him into a dramatic hug before reaching a hand out to you and pulling you into one too. "i missed you guys!"

"sasha we saw you earlier this week." you forced yourself out of her grip with an apologetic smile just in case your gesture came off as rude. connie nodded in agreement and stepped aside already heading towards eren's room. i mean seriously, wouldn't it have made more sense for you not to come if he was that eager to smoke? they could've had more rounds!

"that doesn't mean i couldn't miss you." her hand embraced yours once more and she slammed the door shut, locking it and leading you to the door opened ajar on the other end of the hallway, of course eren's as he always had those red led lights bleeding from underneath the doorway. "connie told me you didn't want to come also, so this is a surprise."

you rolled your eyes. "so he knew i didn't want to come and still asked?"

"well it was worth a shot; and look where it landed you, you're about to be faded." and she wasn't wrong. she finally let go of your hand and opened the door, the bright LEDS hitting you straight on making you squint for a second before your eyes surveyed the room. jean was already chatting with connie on the futon while eren was sat on his bed with a tray in his lap, rolling the blunt.

what you didn't see was the glance he gave you when you first started scanning the room, immediately trying to look focused on rolling the blunt while attempting to hide his boyish grin. you likewise, you bit the inside of your cheeks to stop from smiling at the sight of the pretty boy; his brown locks pulled back into the sloppiest ponytail, and the hairs in the back of his head skimming the black top he wore.

"so she actually came?" jean voiced looking over to you and making his way over to you from his position on the futon to embrace you in a side hug.

"jean boy," you used his nickname to mock him before returning his hug causing him to grimace at you and pull his arm back. you started to laugh and rolled your eyes at his dramatic actions once more. "yes, yes i did come."

"doesn't she look stupid?" connie looked up from his phone at you and jean giggling under his breath. jean took in your appearance and tried not to laugh, a small smirk on his face that was wiped off when you slapped his chest then flipped connie off.

"shut your bald ass up, connie." you retorted.

"i'm growing hair, i keep telling you that!" and the whole room burst into laughter, sasha doubling over because there still wasn't a trace of growth on his head.

"connie, you have no room to talk you are actually stupid." sasha added before going over to sit with the boy after grabbing a bag of chips from the desk next to the open door.

you shut the door behind you and continued to stand awkwardly until eren spoke, "you're laughing but as soon as she takes that jacket off you're gonna try to jump on her, kirchstein." he said with a raise of his eyebrow before letting his eyes wander over your frame.

now you were really trying to hide your smile, and you cursed yourself when one graced your face anyways. "eren," you dragged out his name walking over to him on his bed before plopping yourself down and resting your head on his shoulder. "get me away from these idiots." you faked a sigh before eren chuckled and gave you a side hug much like jean’s before continuing to roll his blunt.

"damn jaeger, you were so quiet i forgot you were here." connie said, not looking up from his phone that sasha peered over as well.

"and stop making slick jokes and hurry up with the blunt." jean huffed scooting off the futon and resting his head on his palm. "i'm tryna smoke."

you watched eren look down at jean with a negative expression before continuing to roll, and you watched intently loving the way he looked while he did it. the way he let his tongue slide over the gutted blunt was enticing  and you looked from your position on his shoulder.

he let his eyes drift over to you without moving his head and then he placed the blunt on the tray grabbing the grinder and holding it out in front of you. "you wanna grind it for me?" he asked with a small smile and it caught you off guard. you took a minute to process what he said before you grabbed the grinder and let it come apart in two.

"i mean, i guess." he slid the tray over to your lap and did that chuckle again.

"do you even know how? i bet you've always had someone roll for you, huh?"

you couldn't help but break out into another smile, this one out of slight embarrassment before you bumped his shoulder playfully and setting down the grinder on the tray. "bye... i've only rolled once."

"she doesn't know how, and plus just earlier she asked me who our supplier was. even sasha knows that!" connie looked over and you met his eyes with a glare, a deadpanned expression crossing your face and the group broke into laughter again besides you.

"connie i'm gonna fuck you up." you muttered. your mood shifted once more though when eren began placing the weed into the grinder and closed the lid handing it to you.

"work some magic, babe." you were really trying not to show how excited you were, butterflies flapping their wings and flapping them hard in your stomach, especially at the nickname. you began twisting the small container and eren's calloused hands stopped yours from grinding too much. "that's good, that's good." he took it from your hands then pulled the tray over. "i got it from here."

"yeah cause she's gonna fuck it up." jean laughed and connie joined in his eccentric laugh filling the air as well causing you to groan.

"can y'all shut up? damn. you can't roll either jean."

ooohh's from connie and sasha bounced around the room and jean looked up at you amusement dancing in his eyes. "better than you."

"at least i look good while doing it." you sassed playfully while moving invisible hair behind you ear. you could've sworn eren nodded his head from next to you, and those dumb butterflies in your stomach began moving again.

"got that right." jean snapped back just as quick a flirtatious tone to his voice that caught you off guard and you raised an eyebrow at the sudden demeanor. eren looked up for a split second before glancing at you again, his eyebrows furrowed in... confusion maybe?

"weren't you just making fun of me earlier?"

"chill, we were just playing around, girl." jean responded with a shit eating grin before forming a heart with his hand and pouting at you.

"you better stop for eren gets on your ass, you know that's his girl." connie scrunched up his nose then looks towards you and eren for a reaction that he succeeded in getting. both you and eren looking up at him; eren's eyes holding more of a curious stare and yours more threatening. eren continued sealing the blunt soon after seemingly unfazed by connie's comment.

sasha gasped and widened her eyes at you. "stop! you know they don't date." she winked at you and wiggled her eyebrows and you pretended not to see her.

"yeah, they don't even date." jean added on, wondering how the conversation flipped from you to your relationship with eren so fast. it was annoying to him in the least, the group constantly commented on how you and eren should just get together and were clearly not just best friends, but the two of you seemed to haven't taken action yet.

"might as well." connie shrugged his shoulder. "anyways, jaeger finished rolling, let's get high." connie sat up, sasha lifting her head off of his arm as he did so and clasped her hands clearly ready to hit the blunt much like everyone else.

"you want the first hit?" eren rolled the blunt between his fingertips while letting the flame singe the end looking at you with those jaded green eyes, flecks of blue dashing across them in a way that made your heart melt.

"she gets the first hit too?" connie exclaimed staring at you and eren with a bored look on his face.

"who rolled the blunt?" eren asked raising an eyebrow at connie before letting his tongue run over his bottom lip and lifting the blunt from the lighter to watch the smoke float into the air, and ugh did he look good. when connie didn't answer he answered for him, "i rolled it, i choose who goes first."

"plus shes low key a newbie, this is what? her third session with us?" sasha chimed in grabbing the pillow that connie was laying on previous and rolling onto her stomach on the floor in front of the futon.

you pursed your lips before grabbing the blunt from eren, not even noticing that his arm was placed behind you until he rubbed your side in slight encouragement, his warm smile aimed at you. you put the brown wrap to your lips and inhaled the smoke, the gas irritating your airway causing you to let out a cough you tried to hold back.

eren began to laugh at you as you broke out into a fit of coughs, your throat attempting to clear up for you, and the worse the coughs got the more of your friends started to laugh, the only thing you could do was stick your middle finger up while sasha crawled to the same desk near the door to grab you her water bottle.

"i'm crying!" sasha laughed as she rolled the bottle over to the foot of eren's bed. eren's laughs died down too after he hit the blunt and then bending down to pick it up for you, untwisting the cap and passing the drug towards connie.

"woah, chill." he said before blowing the smoke from his mouth in your face causing you to suppress more coughs and fan it away. he tilted the water bottle to your lips and you let it swim down your throat, relishing in the sweet gesture from the boy next to you.

"eren," you mumbled his name taking the water bottle from his hand. you didn't get time to finish your sentence before his door opened revealing armin standing there in his pajama pants and sweatshirt.

all gazes turned towards him as he scanned eren's room growing accustomed to the new faces and scenery. "hi." he mumbled rubbing his eyes. "when did you guys get here?"

"did you just wake up?" eren asked slight concern lacing his face.

"yeah... i heard laughing. don't forget we share a wall." armin gestured towards the wall in which eren's futon laid against.

"i didn't even know you were here. i didn't see mikasa's car so i thought both of y'all just dipped." connie passed the blunt to sasha and fanned the air of the smoke letting the rest disperse after speaking.

"mikasa is at the library. she can't stand the smell of smoke and how loud you all are. i don't blame her." armin chuckled before walking over towards sasha who hit the blunt and gave it to armin's outstretched hand.

"armin you smoke?" you couldn't help but ask, the last two smoke sessions you went to with connie, armin wasn't there. as a matter of fact you never saw much of him because he excelled above you by some and the two of you didn't share any classes, yet you definitely knew him through eren.

"everybody hear smokes except for you." sasha said hoping her words would coerce you to come to join the smoke circle more indefinitely, not just pass by a few times here and there.

armin let the smoke inhale his lungs then removed the blunt from his soft lips. "i smoke with eren sometimes. not usually with all of you guys but... sometimes?" his response came more like a question than an answer as he bent down to give the blunt to jean.

"let armin hit it a couple times." eren used his head to motion the blunt in jean's hand to armin and armin nodded in agreement.

"yeah, i'm about to go back to my room anyways." armin took the blunt back holding it between his lips while leaning against the doorframe.

"why aren't you staying?" sasha pondered sitting up and cradling her pillow to her chest. armin took one last hit then walked over passing it to you which you accepted with a kind nod.

"i should be studying with mikasa but i fell asleep. i have a test tomorrow, eren does too."

"so eren's here getting high and he has a test tomorrow?" you give eren a playful disappointed glance that lasted a little longer than it should've. he met your eyes and then let his drop down to your lips before breaking out into a smile and leaning forward, burying his head into your neck. his chain dangled almost touching your lap and you felt the strands of his hair brush against your chin causing you to twitch at the tickling feel while inhaling the smoke from the blunt. when your hand dropped down to your lap he replaced your hand with his and put the wrap in his mouth while nuzzling into you.

"mikasa made me study with her for like a week straight, i'll be fine." he whined. you let a sigh leave you and found yourself stroking the hair on eren's nape while fiddling with the clasp of his gold chain adorning his neck. the smell of his cologne was mixing in with the weed, but yet that woody pine still overpowered the plant and you couldn't help but rest your head on top of his in efforts to get closer to the source of the fragrance.

"i still don't understand why the two of you haven't gotten together." armin announced eyes flickering back and forth between you and his roommate.

sasha flailed her arms out and her expression was relieved, although her eyes went wide and her eyebrows went up, "that's what i been trying to say! they already act like they date." armin nodded his head agreeing with her.

"we don't like each other, we're just friends i don't know why you all say that." you said a little too quickly, eren pulling away from your neck finally and giving you a once-over. you missed the warmth he brought but then turned your head back towards armin.

"yeah, yeah." he giggled rolling his eyes. "okay well goodnight." eren stood up and passed the blunt to armin who took one last hit then handed it back to sasha, then the rest of the room murmured a goodnight to the blonde relaxing in silence for a minute after his leave.

eren took it upon himself to scoot back on his bed until his back was hitting the wall once he sat back down, using his hand to beckon you to follow him. "c'mere." and you obliged until you were next to him, shoulders touching.

jean looked over to connie and sasha, connie still scrolling through his phone aimlessly giggling at his home screen for whatever reason and sasha looking up at the ceiling on her back now, bag of chips on top of her stomach as she got lost in her thoughts.

"remember when we used to like each other?" jean took it upon himself to abruptly reminisce on the past in the presence of his friends. he took a hit of the blunt thats length was beginning to falter, it on the verge of becoming a roach. he leaned over and passed it on to you, eyes trained on yours, completely ignoring eren's gaze

you furrowed yourself eyebrows trying to recall the time once you figured jean was talking to you, his stare telling, which you actually could. "...oh yeah, last year. i guess i did."

eren pulled one of your legs overtop of his and let his hand settle onto your thigh.

sasha's head perked up at the sudden conversation. "oh my gosh... you did like jean for a little bit. you used to gush over him-"

"sasha! i know, i know, but that was last year."

"i wonder why we didn't get together if we both liked each other, hm." jean looked upwards and tapped his chin in almost a mocking manner. "we used to hang out a lot actually now that i think about it, me, you, sasha and connie."

connie let out another burst of laughter and let his phone to drop to his chest. "yeah, remember that one time we got kicked out of the library because sasha got caught eating like four times and she wouldn't stop after that lady told her to?"

you chortled and sasha's mouth dropped open. "i don't even remember that, i thought you got kicked out because you wouldn't stop fucking laughing and that same lady told you to shut up like seven times!" and more laughter erupted from the ones who were there that day.

you passed the blunt to eren for the umpteenth time watching him take a quick drag then beckon to sasha to grab it as he didn't want to get up. "you both got kicked out, those were two different days." you shook your head at your friends antics and looked up at eren. "they're so dumb."

eren returned your stare and only then did you notice the way his eyes were half lidded, you were sure red was rimming them even though you couldn't really tell because of the red emitting from the lights in the room. he squinted at you and scrunched up his nose. "you look high." he ignored your last sentence wanting to stray away from the conversation he was barely apart of.

"i am high, stupid."

a small 'hmph' came from the back of his throat and it happened again, his eyes dropping to your lips causing him to lick his before he brought those same eyes back up to yours. you could've kept getting lost in them if you didn't jolt at the sound of jean clearing his throat and holding the blunt out to you.

you leaned over to grab it once more. "careful, it's a roach. don't burn yourself." he warned you, so you pinched it between your pointer finger and thumb and started to put it up to your lips but eren grabbed your wrist.

"wanna try something?" he asked you, plucking the faltering blunt from your hands and using the lighter beside him to fire it up a bit more. "wanna shotgun it?"

you had to trace back where you hear those words again... like a shotgun when you get to sit in the passengers seat? no, that wasn't it... you couldn't recall, but by the way sasha widened her eyes for the several time that night, the way connie's mouth dropped into an 'O', and the way jean's features were exasperated, him looking down to the bright light of his screen, you could only wonder eren's intentions.

he didn't even wait for a response from you, pulling through with his actions anyways. "inhale slowly, okay?" he inhaled as much smoke from the blunt storing it in his cheeks, the skin expanding from the inside and then leaned over his face mere inches from yours. he grabbed your chin with his fingers and you opened your mouth slightly watching as he opened his and let the smoke pour out of his tinted lips. you followed his instructions; inhaling very slowly hoping the moment could last a little longer, both of you staring at the transition of the smoke from one mouth to the other.

eren glanced to the side for a second to see if the others were watching, mainly searching for one pair of eyes. you saw his upper lip curl upwards slightly and you inched forward a little more subconsciously. eren watched the smoke grow thinner and felt the way your hands grabbed at his shirt tightly. he watched your eyes flutter and felt your noses brush together.

eren watched both of you lean in a little more until your lips brushed and came together, and felt the fireworks go off in both of your bodies, electric like sparks getting sent through his.

he ignored the gasps and groans of your friends and instead focused on the gasp that left your lips when they first connected with his, and the groan you elicited from him, lips meeting so fervently. he couldn't admit it until today but he wanted your lips on his so bad, your body on his so bad. he was so infatuated with you and the two of you being around each other majority of the time didn't help. he could only reminisce in the little touches and flirtatious gestures you passed back and forth on a regular day and use that to fuel his thoughts at night.

"eren," you mumbled against his lips your voice coming out like a whimper that went straight to his dick, causing him to wrap his arms around your body and pull you into his lap letting your legs swing over either side of him. eren didn't forget about the guests in the room, and as much as wanted to put on a little show in spite of jean, he pointed towards the door snapping his fingers twice.

"five dollars that they fuck?" sasha nudged connie's shoulder as they stood up and walked towards the door while she rolled up her chip bag bringing it with her. jean's figure was already halfway out the door, slamming it hard and making his way to the living room with the other two following.

"hell no, you're gonna owe me five dollars instead. i'm betting that they fuck."

"no, cause you know they're going to that's why i said the bet first, peanut head." sasha stuck her tongue out at connie and he shoved her out the door closing it softer than jean.

he kisses you even harder just basking in the feeling of your smooth lips against his slightly chapped ones, lips working in synchronization like they were made for each other and he felt so needy. his hands roamed your hips and waist, going underneath the jacket now hanging off your shoulders and feeling the bare skin of your stomach. your skin was so hot underneath his hand, just like the air surrounding the two of you.

you ground down into his lap and he hissed stilling your hips at the feeling, his mouth dropping into a circular shape, his eyebrows pointing up until a sigh left his lips once yours disconnected from his. you studied his face; his eyebrows scrunched up in lust and his lips parted slightly already missing the feeling of your lips. his nails dug into your hips as if you would run for whatever reason.

"_____... fuck." his tone was low and light and he leaned forward to press a chaste kiss to your cheek, his skin warm on yours. "you're so pretty,"

your face grew hotter than it already was and you leaned your forehead against his while your arms draped around his neck. "thank you,"

"i want you."

you closed your eyes and relished in his grip that became impossibly tight on your hips. "i want you too-"

"i wanna fuck you... i wanna feel you." eren's eyes fluttered shut as well, his forehead moving from yours to the crevice of your neck, planting his lips and nibbling on the thin skin. your breath hitched and your hold on his neck tightened. "i wanna have you."

"i'm right here, eren."

he held back a moan at how gentle and soft your voice was when you said those words, but you caught on and wanted to actually get one out of him. you wanted to pleasure him, you wanted him to shudder because of you, and you wanted your name to leave his lips like a song; but he wanted the same from you.

he was high, and high, and high off of you.

"lay down."

eren obliged with a smug smile, turning himself to the side while steadying you on his lap until his head hit the pillow, his flyaways bouncing to the sides of his face. "c'mere." just like earlier you listened to his words and leaned down so he could press his full lips against yours. his hands cradled either side of your face as you rutted your hips against him and swallowed his groans. his tongue swiped against your bottom lip and his teeth pulled at it as well until you gave him entrance to slip his tongue inside your mouth. you moaned at the feeling of your tongues colliding and dancing around each other even though both of your mouths were somewhat dry from the earlier smoke session, it still felt all good.

you felt fuzzy and your body felt like it was melting into his. when you pulled back for air eren gave you that same smile he gave you earlier, and you moved your kisses down his neck. once you reached the crevice between his shoulder and neck you moved his chain aside and licked at the spot, the feeling of your warm tongue against the shy skin causing eren to hold you a little tighter. you nibbled at the pretty skin and wondered if the mark you proceeded to leave would even be visible under the gleaming red lights.

"i don't know why you're trying to give me a hickey, they already know we're fucking." eren taunted letting his hands travel up your spine until they reached your neck, smoothing his fingers over it. you bit down on the mark as a way to punish eren for his comment then kissed it, finally pulling back.

"shut up."

eren let out a low laugh, and his low eyes raked over your figure with his lip trapped between his teeth. "when did you get my jacket?" he raised and eyebrow and began to remove the fabric that was resting at your elbows after unzipping it the rest of the way to reveal your top.

oh, so it was his jacket. you let out a laugh at your idiocy; you knew it was a couple sizes too big. "you look cute in it, but i want to see you now." he threw the fabric off of his bed and let his warm hands travel up until they cupped your breasts, your back arching in the least. his thumbs ran over your nipples, the feeling making you clench on top of eren. "like this," he pulled them hem of the white top up until you lifted your arms, now only left in your shorts and socks. he didn't even question the fact that you weren't wearing a bra. "shit..." he pushed you down until he could latch onto on of your breasts his tongue swirling around your nipple and you let the tingling feeling go down your spine until he popped off. eren begins to remove his shirt swiftly throwing it somewhere near his jacket.

you make work of your position on top of eren, scooting down on his legs and pecking his chest, abs, then v-line until your head was leveled with his dick. he stared down at you with a look of sultry while your hands worked to pull down his sweatpants. his hips lifted to help you out and you palmed at him with your hand watching him throw his head back when such a simple gesture relieved some of the tension he was feeling.

your mouth connected with his dick through the fabric, feeling for his tip that rested on his thigh and smirking against it when he hissed, hand flying to your ponytail that you threw up earlier that evening. "fuck, don't tease me like that baby."

"i wanna take my time with you." a pout formed on your face and your hands made their way to his waistband, the elastic material detailed with 'calvin klein' circling his hips.

eren's hands grabbed your jaw forcing you to look up at him before you could pull down his boxers. "and i want to fuck you... make you feel good."

your stomach twisted and even though you were just trying to do the same you couldn't help but rush pulling down the brunette's briefs until his cock slapped against his lower abdomen, your pussy squeezing around nothing at the view. his tip red and leaking and you knew that it'd be heavy on your tongue.

"eren..." he watched the way you eyed his aching dick, and he took it in his hands rubbing himself up and down with his hand while basking in your expression.

"hm?" you didn't even know what you wanted to say, you were just mesmerized and wasted no time prying his hands away to replace them with your own. your nimble fingertips ran over his tip to gather his precum and slide it over his length and he twitched, no, his dick twitched, and his fists clenched in anticipation for your hot mouth on him.

he decided to be courageous, to look down and try to watch you without spilling over himself too fast, i mean could you blame him if he did? your hands, the feeling of you over him, the way you would feel around him... he'd had wanted this forever and now it was in front of him.

in a way, he wanted to ruin you, not let this moment go in fear it wouldn't happen again.

so you finally attached your lips to his throbbing member, and he sucked in a breath hand trying to choose between flying to your head or to keep his hands to his self for now, but he chose the former his fist keeping a grip on your locks while you began to bob your head up and down. small sounds of pleasure left him and his eyes closed again, him trying to focus on not fucking your pretty throat so early in. he just wanted you and him to be one in every sense for as long as possible.

a mantra of 'yes,' and 'fuck,' left eren's mouth while your worked around him slicking him up and drawing lines up and down his cock with your tongue watching his reactions for a particular sensitive spot he might have; and you found it.

you went back up to his tip kissing it gently before letting the heat of your tongue slide down a vein on the side of his dick. "_____," eren moaned lifting his hips although he wasn't engulfed in your mouth. "i need it, shit, i need your mouth."

you giggled and placed his heavy dick back where he liked it for now. you felt it brush against your throat and you wondered if you could go any farther, sucking fervently and coming back up to spit on his head, adding more slick to him. when you went back down eren couldn't help it, he had felt when his tip touched your throat earlier and he most definitely wanted to feel that again.

his grip on your hair tightened when your swollen lips were wrapped around him again. he pushed your head down a little bit causing your hands to put more pressure on his thighs. eren opened his eyes to stare at you again, your mouth stretched out so lewdly over his cock, saliva starting to slide down his length from your mouth and your eyes shut as you tried to focusing on breathing. this only encouraged him further.

"i know you can take more, c'mon, go a little further." he said in a tone near a whisper while he lift his hips up more so that he could feel that ridge of your throat and hear another gag.

you pushed yourself, letting him take more control and then he felt it again; "mhm, right there baby, right there." he moaned when you whimpered, groaned and gagged, but this only pushed his animalistic fervor and he tried to push you down more but you lifted your head to catch your breath. "fuck, that feels amazing, angel."

you let the praise run over your body and went back down on him seeing how far you could go without his extra nudge then focused some more attention on his tip.

eren could feel the curdle in his lower abdomen but he tried his best to ignore it, letting your work him more. he let you swirl your tongue around him and pepper kisses down his length. he watched you try to deep throat him again and watched the tears spring from your eyes before you came back up, and all of this built up further until he tumbled over the edge spilling white heat into your mouth with a shout.

you were satisfied.

aching for him? yes, but satisfied at your job.

eren's thigh twitched and his eyes screwed shut as you didn't remove yourself from his length yet, cupping his balls and paying attention to his tip, overstimulating him, watching him shudder and gasp under you like you wanted. his dick hardened again while he contemplated whether to remove you from his length or let the over sensitivity go until he had no choice but to stop, and once again he picked the prior. "_____, please i want to be inside you now, wanna fuck you still."

you slipped off of him and crawled forward only now aware of the wet spot on your panties.

eren brought your face towards him kissing you with no hesitance despite him just being in your mouth. he pecked your lips and you smiled as he praised you. "you did so good, so good..." another peck and then his hands trailed down to the shorts you were still wearing, giving your ass a squeeze and spreading them. "but now i want to see that pretty pussy on my dick, yeah?"

you let him slide off your shorts and underwear simultaneously until your slick heat was exposed to him and to the air, feeling it brush over you before eren's hands could. your head fell to his chest feeling the cold metal of his chain underneath you, and your sore jaw parted when you felt his rough fingers gather up your wetness on them, rubbing through your slit. "eren..."

"c'mon, sit baby. we're not done yet; fuck yourself on me." he placed his lips on your the top of your head. "please?"

you picked yourself up and scoot back taking eren's dick in your hand once more. you didn't even care that he didn't have a condom, you trusted him, and you trusted the birth control you were on too.

finally you slipped down onto him and for him it felt like you were sucking him up inch by inch until he bottomed out inside of you. "so fucking tight... you're so wet." he groaned with his hands on your hips and yours on his chest steadying you. it had been awhile since you had been fucked and feeling so full again felt good, the stretch felt good and the slight pain subsided so quickly.

slowly, you guided yourself up and down eren's cock until you could find a good rhythm. your chest bounced above him and your ass clapped together, mixing in with the sound of your slick getting pushed in and out of you. "yeah, like that," eren hummed watching you focused, your pussy squeezing around him and you putting in the efforts to fuck yourself on him for both your pleasure.

eren's hands helped guide your body up and down him, and you leaned forward a little to add some more pressure to your clit. everything felt so good, the way he hit your cervix, the way your bud rubbed against his lower abdomen, you could definitely say this was one of the best fucks you had in a while. eren slapped your ass for encouragement before massaging the same area and relishing in your gasp.

"this feels good... and so much better when you're high." you sighed out while your face contorted in pleasure.

"or is my dick just that good?" eren joked looking up at you after your comment.

"shut it, eren.. and," you leaned forward some more. you were somewhat exhausted from riding already, thighs aching and body shivering from the pleasure. "i’m tired..." you admitted almost shamefully.

"you're tired?" he spoke in the way you would to a child while turning you around so you were on your side. his chest was against your back, the cold gold material resting between your shoulder blades and your ass snug against him. he lifted your leg and held it up while you guided him back inside of you until he was buried deep once again, this angle hitting even better.

"i got you," eren murmured against your neck while starting his pace slow. his hand trailed up to your neck and he gave it a light squeeze while pushing you further against him. he loved the way your ass bounced against his lower stomach when he started going faster, making him speed up his pace. "'m gonna fuck you so good."

you let out a slutty moan at his dirty talk, bringing a hand over to your mouth and shutting your eyes. he found that sweet spot inside of you and you couldn't help but react as well as he hit it over and over again. eren's hand on your throat went up to pull your hand off of your mouth. "don't try to hide that pretty voice, i want to hear you, i want them to hear you. get loud baby."

you were sure he felt the way you clenched around him, suffocating his dick as it slid in and out of you at a steady speed, and this time when you let out a moan you let him hear it, you were loud like he asked and tried to put your leg up even further so he could hit deeper.

"eren, fuck!" you were left pondering why you didn't think about this earlier, why you didn't listen to everybody who told you to get with eren. you could've been getting the best dick you'd gotten in years but both your stubborn, wavering feelings got in the way. "yes, oh my god, yes!" you cried out while eren bucked his hips up into you tightening his grip on your neck.

he turned your head towards him and engaged your lips again swallowing your cries and whimpers as he abused your pussy. your hand shakily made its way down to your clit to give you another push but he was quicker, dropping your leg and grabbing your wrist causing you to yelp. "eren, please."

"beg me." that same fervor from earlier returned. being edged on by your cries and shouts of his name, knowing how good he was fucking you and making you feel was such a turn on. "tell me how you want me, how you want my cum."

your breath was ragged and your leg was aching but you wanted it stretched out again where you could feel it deep. you were on the verge of tears. your hips rutted against eren for any boost, any pressure that you could get you to your high. the hand around your neck only gripped further as you didn't respond yet.

"c'mon, beg me baby."

"eren," his name came out broken, your back leaving his chest as your arched hard. "please fuck me, fuck me... please," he started to move again in the least, after all he was on the verge of cumming as well. "fuck, cum inside me, i want it, please." the sobs that left your mouth were so hot and of course he gave you what you wanted.

he fucked up into you after lifting your leg again and letting the fingers that were choking you slip into your mouth while he kissed and nibbled at your neck, speaking in between, praising you and marking you. his hand slipped from your mouth and he brought his wet fingers down to your clit rubbing for you until you toppled over the edge with a loud cry of his name. your eyes rolled to the back of your head as your cunt gripped him like a vice over and over again as if you were trying to milk him.

"ah, fuck," the way you were squeezing around him caused him to unravel himself, white painting your walls as he filled you up with his cum, shaking himself. "_____," he heaved as the two of you tried to come down from your escapade.

your breathing was beginning to steady again but you could still feel yourself pulsing around him causing him to pull out before it became too much. "eren.." you answered back as your head relaxed against his pillow while you rested in his grip. you felt his lips against your neck again, then stopping at your shoulder blades.

you were blanking out from tiredness, only then did you realize the state you were in, hair in somewhat of a mess, a sheen of sweat covering both of your bare bodies, and marks littering your body. not to mention the cum trying to ooze out of you. you didn't even realize when eren had gotten up until he came back, wiping you clean and only assuming he did himself too. he locked his door on the way back in and slipped his boxers back on, reciprocating on you with your underwear.

you could feel the bed shift, eren crawling in bed beside you after drawing out the covers from underneath both of you and wrapping them around you and him, bringing you against him before you fell back asleep.

༄ ༄ ༄

you woke up to a hand shaking you, your eyes lazily opening.

"wake up, _____."

"eren?"

the pretty boy smiled at you and studied your features as you tried to wake up completely. you were no longer naked, or in the same position you were from last night, now wearing a plain white shirt and your underwear.

"morning, i gotta head to class soon, remember i have a test, or did i-"

"don't finish that sentence." you rolled your eyes as you sat up completely eren laughing at you. you followed his eyes, them resting on your lips like always and you took it upon yourself to lean up and kiss him, this time quite innocently, domestic almost. "sorry, morning breath, but,"

eren this time cut you off with another soft kiss, his cheeks rising from his smile as he pulled you closer to him.

you didn't want to talk it out yet, you were somewhat fine with where everything was at now, although you knew your friends and eren wouldn't want to coax a direct answer out of you sooner or later.

but you were content with the way eren kissed you just seconds ago, content with his jacket and sweats you had to wear, you were content with having to use spare bathroom products at his house, you were content with the wave armin and mikasa gave you out the door, content with the walk you and eren shared to the college, content with the last kiss he gave you before his class.

content is how you were feeling.

content.

[starsstruck]

blue dream

a getting high to lovers if you will (or stonerrry). you and harry absolutely love the time you spend together with your little smoke sessions, not being able to get enough of each other. shared pipes, hummus snacks and night time swims. 

pairing: harry x reader words: 15.4k rated: M (drug usage and sexual content)

disclaimer: i am not promoting drug use. those arrested for marijuana usage and possession should not be in incarcerated. please remember to be safe and smart, and happy smoking.

a/n: hello i am back again. this piece is just all fun, something that i think about far too often and wanted to bring to life ! i am very excited to share it with everyone and i hope you all enjoy ! as always please let me know your thoughts and happy reading ❣️                                                          

                                                           ***

“Brought us a little treat,” you sat yourself next to Harry, smiling hello to him.

He grinned down at you, having been waiting for the opportunity to speak you again and not getting the chance to earlier. “Thought I saw you come in. What have you got?”

Reaching through the bag that sat by your feet, digging through it until your fingers wrapped around the glass container. Shaking it as you pulled it out, knowing that Harry would immediately know what it was.

“Jo gave me this new strain they just got in.” You watched his eyebrows raise in interest. “It’s a hybrid of course. Join me?”

“Do you even have to ask?” Harry smiled, quickly standing to his feet, ready to head outside where the two of you always smoked. His place had a very cute backyard, you had no idea if it was him who made it that way with the little potted plants, or if it was someone else, but you loved it nonetheless.

It was a bit unspoken, that the two of you always smoked together. You weren’t too certain how the tradition started, neither of you being that close beforehand. But you always were bringing a little bit of weed with you when you went out, and somehow Harry was the only one wanting to join you.

Your good friend, Jo, had been working in a local dispensary for over a year now and she always brought home with her new strains that they would get in, or edibles, or just anything she wanted to try. The two of you had studied together in college, always indulging each other with your weed antics. Which apparently still have yet to stop.

Harry had been a friend of a friend to you. You had rarely seen him around, and when you did you barely spoke to him. For a good part of a year you saw him very sparingly, out with mutual friends or over at someone’s house for dinner.

It was only really in the past couple of months that the two of you grew much closer, both finding the other enjoying a smoke rather than a drink, and particularly enjoying each other’s company.

It had really started one night when you stopped by your friend Eli’s house one day after work, having promised him that you would bring by some weed since Jo had given you an amazing discount yet again.

Harry had been there as well, and although the original plan was to stop by to drop off the weed and then quickly be on your way home, they had ended up inviting you to stay for some dinner and maybe a little shared bowl or two.

After eating some salad rolls that they made when you got there, retreating to the little balcony at Eli’s place to give the new strain you brought over a try. You had spent very little time with Harry by this point, a casual acquaintance.

Though when Eli passed out nearly immediately from smoking, saying he had too much at once and needed a little lie down, it was really the first time you and Harry were alone together.

“He always falls asleep,” Harry laughed from across you on the balcony.

“That he does,” you hummed in agreement, your movements feeling languid and slow as you took a big sip of the water in front of you.

Harry was leaning back on a little chair, hands resting on his stomach and legs folded over each other. “I didn’t know you liked to smoke.” He spoke after a little moment in silence.

You laughed, knowing very well that all your friends always said maybe you enjoyed it a little too much. “Yeah, maybe a bit too much. I have a friend that works in a dispensary, she always gets me great stuff.”

“I love that,” Harry hummed, reaching out over the table between the two of you to fiddle with the lighter.

“Didn’t know you smoked either.”

He rubbed his hand over his face, pausing with a laugh. “Enjoy it a bit too much as well. Never really did it until my twenties, but only started smoking more often until a couple years ago. Like it better than drinking.”

“I get that,” you nodded along. “It’s just… nicer. Calmer.”

You had ended up spending a good part of an hour chatting with Harry. The next time you saw him was at Eli’s once again, the two of you deciding to end the night seated on his balcony with a joint being passed around. Since then, it had nearly become unspoken that if you both felt like it, you would go out for a little smoke or two together.

You grabbed your bag, pushing the glass door open to expose a little set up of chairs and a table. Settling into one of the cold chairs, placing your bag on the table and pulled out your little baggy you carried your grinder and pipe in. Harry settled in next to you, ever so attentive as you quickly worked your magic.

Picking up small buds of the plant between your nails, lightly ripping them apart and placing them haphazardly into the green grinder. Twisting it back and forth after closing the lid over the grinder, eyes flicking over to Harry.

“How’ve you been?” He asked, watching your hands quickly work around the grinder.

“Good,” humming, opening up the grinder and starting to fill up the small bowl of your pipe with the shredded bits of weed. “Work’s been a bit stressful lately.”

“Yeah, been a bit since I’ve seen you.” He nodded, eyes already on you when you looked over at him. “Everything’s okay though?”

“Yeah, nothing really knew. Just the same old problems,” grinning at him, knowing full well he’d heard about your issues at work over and over. You hated how much you annoyed people with your stories, you liked your job you really did, but there were just some things that never seemed to go away.

Reaching for the painted lighter on the table, bringing the end of your pipe to your mouth, flicking the lighter a couple times unsuccessfully as the wind blew kept blowing out the flame.

“Here,” Harry leant forward in his chair, body facing yours as he brought his hands up to cup around the pipe. Hands brushing against yours as you lit the plant, inhaling through the mouth of the pipe as you did so.

Cheeks hollowing, blowing some smoke from your nose as you inhaled again. The smoke heavy in your throat, moving the pipe away from your lips while Harry dropped his own hands back down. Breathing the smoke in slowly, waiting a beat until blowing it back out through parted lips.

Wordlessly passing it over to Harry, watching as he turned his body to block the wind and quickly lit the bowl, pipe against his mouth. Wrapping around the end just a bit, repeating your motions as he slowly inhaled with a puffing chest and hollowing cheeks.

Licking his lips as he pulled the pipe away, softly blowing the smoke out. You watched the smoke leaving his mouth, looking nearly orange as it caught the light coming from inside.

“S’nice.” He nodded, not feeling a burn in his throat. “Smooth, if that makes sense.”

“Makes a lot of sense,” you nodded, grabbing the pipe and lighter again and taking another hit. Returning the question to him, asking how he’s been and catching up on small anecdotes since the two of you had been apart.

Harry loved his time like this with you, if anything it was all he looked forward to when you’d come over with your little bag of ‘treats’ as you called it. He had always enjoyed smoking, but just talking with you outside like this was something he couldn’t believe he used to go without.

“You know you can always let me know if you need a little smoke after work,” he offered after you told him a particular story of your stress. His high had nicely settled in, the emptied pipe sitting in front the of two of you as you chatted away.

“I’ll hold you up to that,” you hummed, playing with a ring on your finger. You had never really hung out just the two of you to smoke, this little ritual always happening when you were with your other friends and would sneak out together to get a little stoned.  

A small quiet fell over the two of you, noises from chatter inside muffled with the soft music playing was all that was heard. You silently added a bit more to the bowl, not having to ask if he wanted more as both of you usually smoked about two bowls together before deciding it was enough for the night. Plus, the high was light so far, and you wanted to see where a few more hits would get you.

“Did you want to head back inside?” Quickly finishing that second bowl, pulling the little ashtray sitting on the windowsill across from you, taping out the ash.

Harry was quiet for a second, eyes narrowing on the way you so comfortably worked with the task at hand. He remembers the first time you had both gone out to his backyard space to some, just the two of you, and how you immediately made yourself at home.

“Not really,” he finally spoke, realizing he had left your question unanswered. “Kind of rather stay out here for a bit.” Sheepish smile shot in your direction, watching you offer him a big grin. He could use the nice calm summer air as an excuse, the way he was just cozy enough in his fleece sweatshirt, but truthfully, he just wanted to spend more time with you alone.

“Me too.”

He beamed when you agreed, nodding along as he watched you bring your feet up to your chair, hugging your knees to your chest. “Did you want any snacks?”

You hummed, nodding your head lightly and furrowing your brow as if deep in thought. “Do you have any hummus?”

Harry quickly left to go grab the two of you some food, upholding the silent agreement that the two of you shared. Since you usually brought the weed, he would always have no problem in offering you food, making the trade more or less equal.

You didn’t realize you were smiling to yourself while you waited for Harry outside, noticing that he never used to have the snacks you liked on hand until this became a regular thing.

Harry soon reappeared with a box of crackers tucked under his arm, some hummus and baby carrots for the sake of being healthy although you both knew the extra salty crackers were much more desirable. In his other hand were two glasses of water, handing you one so that he could place the other down.

You loved to watch his hands, secretly in awe but just how pretty they looked. Whether they were rolling a joint, cupping the flame of a lighter, or brushing against yours as you handed the pipe back and forth, you always found yourself just the slightest bit entranced with his hands.

The muffled music from inside was enough for you, excitedly opening up the box of herb flavoured crackers. This was your favourite part, when the two of you sat side by side, snacking on whatever the mood was for the night and mindlessly chattering away.

The both of you would often space out, easily forgetting what the other one was saying and never really holding a true start to end conversation. But you liked it that way, usually remembering your half-baked ideas the next day and texting Harry about them, almost finished off the conversation that way.

“What are you doing Thursday?”

Pulling your attention back towards him, waiting for you to answer him. “I get off work at 7, why?”

“You want to do something that night? Smoke a bit?”

You found yourself immediately nodding to his question. “Yeah that sounds nice. You could come by my place if you want, I live by the water, we could walk out there.”

Harry mirrored your grin. “Stunning.”

                                                          ***

Meeting Harry out by where he parked his car on the street, tote bag swung over your shoulder and folded tapestry to sit on in hand. “Hi,” you smiled, nearly shyly. The long skirt of your dress was blowing open a bit in the wind, quickly fixing it as you joined Harry.

“You live so close to the water its amazing.” He grinned, easily falling in step with you as you led the way towards the water.

“Yeah,” you breathed out, knowing the location of your studio was a dream, although the tiny place and high rent wasn’t. “My place is really small though, but its honestly worth it.”

Harry was only carrying a jacket in his hands, seemingly dressed for the opposite weather that you were, in a baggy sweatshirt and jeans.

The walk down to the water was easy, taking less than ten minutes before you were leading Harry to a little secluded area you knew was comfortable to sit back in. The sun had just set, the sky would soon be getting even darker but a little hazy blue still remained above.

There was nearly no one by the water, only a couple other groups of people who were enjoying the cooling evening. You dropped your bag down to the ground, happy with your spot, watching Harry follow suit as he sat on the tapestry you spread out.

While you pulled out your usual bag and container that held everything you needed, Harry flipped through his music library on his phone until The Modern Lovers started playing, not too loudly. He watched as you repeated the same actions you always did, placing the pipe on the tapestry that you were sitting on, lighter next to it.

“I’ve never tried this one,” his eyes moved from your fingers to meet your gaze. “The strain I mean. Jo told me it’s one of the best she’s tried.”

“Hybrid?” He knew you usually would go for hybrids, finding the best middle ground with them. Only once did the two of you smoke a heavy indica. You had fallen asleep with your legs draped over his lap, head against the armrest of the couch.

“Of course,” you grinned, eyes flicking up to his briefly before focusing back on your task at hand. “Jo described the high as dreamy.”  

“I like the sound of that.” Harry hummed, telling himself that most highs with you were in fact, dreamy.

Quickly filling the bowl of your ever-trusty blue pipe, flicking the lighter to light the buds while you brought the mouth of the pipe to your lips.

“It’s nice,” you spoke as you exhaled, not feeling the burning in your throat that would sometimes occur. You took another quick hit, exhaling the smoke from your nose before sucking in through your lips again.

Passing the glass pipe over to him, slowly letting the smoke blow out of your mouth. Harry repeated the same motion as you, resting his elbows on his knees with his legs spread out. You followed the way his head titled back slightly to blow the smoke out up, lips puckering as it left in a quick straight line.

“Fuck,” he muttered, mostly to himself. The lighter wasn’t properly titled when he went in for another take, the flame flicking just past his thumb. Shaking his hand out at the dull pain of the burn, while rubbing his index finger over the spot.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” he hummed, moving the pipe away from his mouth and observed the red skin of his thumb. “Just a little burn.”

“Here,” you snatched the lighter from his hand. Flicking on the lighter for him, wordlessly motioning for him to take another hit.

Harry was perfectly able to do it himself, it was barely a first degree burn and it happened to everyone, even the most vetted smokers when they had to tilt their lighter down. But you had moved closer to him, turning your body to face his and your bent leg was resting right on his, so he didn’t mind.

“Thank you,” he couldn’t help the little smirk, before he went to inhale through the pipe. You rested your elbow on his bent knee, bringing your other hand to cup around the flame. His eyes were focused on yours as the two of you stilled for a second – that quick second ending when you dropped both hands away to rest on your legs.

You didn’t move from your spot so close to him until the bowl was finished, passing the pipe back and forth until it was all ash. You sat back around so that your back was leaning against the log with Harry by your side.

Although not facing each other anymore, you still sat close so that your bare arm was leaning against his covered one. The high settled in nicely, both chattering away about whatever came to mind until a small silence overtook you.

“Didn’t realize it was so dark out.” You said, head titling back against the wood behind you so that you could observe the stars. The beach had slowly emptied, the faint sounds of another group somewhere around you but not in sight.

Harry hummed. “The water looks nice.” He was right, it did. Although in the dark light, it was shimmering and it felt like every ripple on the surface was heightened.

“Didn’t really think this through,” Harry suddenly spoke from next to you, pulling your attention away from where the water hit the shore.

“Hm?”

“Not really in the right state to drive home anytime soon.” His eyes were still focused forward, watching the way the crescent moon reflected on the water in front of the two of you.

“Oh,” you paused, for what seemed like far too long but neither of you really noticed. “You could always stay at mine.”

He faced you at your words, small smile playing at his lips and heavy eyes looking into yours. “If it’s not too much trouble…”

Shaking your head slightly, not breaking his gaze as the breeze blew between the two of you. “No trouble at all.”

His eyes narrowed on the way your mouth remained slightly parted, before biting your lips together with a small smile twitching on the corners of your lips. He didn’t think about, or even care for that matter, that he was so shamelessly staring at your mouth in the moment.

Snapping himself out of his daze, small hum with a nod to confirm your invitation, turning his attention back to the scenery in front of you.

Sighing softly as you turned around as well, breeze carrying a soft smell of the water and soil around you. Maybe it was because you were the slightest bit out of your mind at the moment – it was probably due to your feeling of dehydration – but you really wanted to submerge yourself in that feeling the smell of the breeze was giving you.

Not being able to take your eyes off the water in front of you, wanting nothing more than to feel the coolness that it likely held all around you. Standing suddenly, Harry’s head spinning towards you at your fast movement.

“I want to swim.”

Taking a few steps away from Harry, tempting your way towards the water and only stopping when his voice called out from behind you. “Is that – I mean is that really the best idea?”

Turning around, seeing him rise to his feet as well but staying put with his hands on his hips, watching you from a distance. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Well,” his voice was slow, and you didn’t even realize he had started walking towards you. “You’re not exactly sober, darling. Plus, it’s almost too dark out.”

He was right about the last part, the only real source of light right now was coming from the moon, that had just begun its path towards becoming full and was not offering that much light. The road wasn’t too far off, street lights lining it, but much to far off to offer any real lighting.

“I’m not swimming swimming, just a little dip,” you kept your eyes on him as he moved to stand next to you, not too far off from where the water hit the land. “Join me?”

“It’s going to be cold.” He hummed, not saying no.

“That’s kind of the point, no?”

His eyes narrowed on yours for a moment, briefly wondering what could possibly be going through your mind. “Doesn’t make too much sense.”

A breathy laugh left your lips, looking away from Harry and towards the water. “It’s just…” you didn’t know how to word what seemingly clear thoughts you had moment ago. “You know that feeling when you float in water and like, you feel heavy against the water but light at the same time?”

A small “yeah” that was nearly a whisper was the only noise Harry made, a silence falling around the pair of you before speaking again. “And then the water doesn’t really feel like water, its just something that’s nearly all consuming?”

Silence fell between you again, turning to Harry. Slow nod as he briefly looked over at you, grinning once again. “Didn’t realize you liked swimming so much.”

“I don’t,” you shrugged, “I just. Really want to be in the water right now.”

He laughed at your words, a deep laugh that made you smile along, eyes slowing in on him as you watched him tug his sweatshirt off above his head. Dropping it to the ground next to him without a care, looking at you from the corner of his eye.

“You’re gonna swim with me?” Murmuring as you tugged on your own clothes, untying the knot that held the fabric of your dress in at the waist.

“’Can’t have you splashing around there in the dark alone, can we?” He couldn’t help letting his eyes fell to where your fingers were moving to undo the buttons that’s lined the front of your dress.

Pulling down his loose fit jeans in one quick motion, kicking them aside and trying his best not to look at every new inch of exposed skin that you had uncovered after letting the long dress fall to the ground.

Offering Harry a smile that could almost been seen as shy, surprisingly not feeling cold in only your underwear and flimsy bralette. Shoes had long been abandoned, and you took a breath before taking the few steps needed to get to the water.

Not stopping when the cold water hit your feet, then shins, then knees, only turning around to see Harry following you once the water was just under your hips. Unlike you, he seemed to be taking much bigger bolder steps in the water. He shot you a little smile, before lunging forward with a messy little dive and soon he disappeared under the water.

He quickly reappeared, hair flat against his head before he brought a hand up to push it off his forehead. Easily finding his footing, standing a bit out of the water. He was far enough from you that only his silhouette was really visible, but the moon caught the gleam in his eyes. “Thought you were swimming?”

Pausing for another moment, before a laugh shook through you. Your legs had warmed up as the skin got used to the temperature of the water, moving in a bit deeper before taking the literal leap like Harry did and submerging yourself in the water.

The feeling of the water all around you was exactly like you had imagined it would be, and nothing like it at all. The cold water was a bit of a shock, but once your head emerged from the water and the warm night air hit you, you felt so relaxed.

“Exactly what I needed.” Laughing as you rubbed water out of your eyes, no doubt smudging the makeup you forgot you had on.

Harry’s mind slowed, probably because of the bowl he smoked earlier, but the fact that he was even under any kind of influence evaded him. You were close enough that he could distinguish separate drops of water shining in the moonlight, running down your neck. He was close enough that if he wanted, he could reach out and stop them from sinking down over your skin. And he did want to. He didn’t realize he was staring at you without saying anything for a while until his eyes met yours, his mind really slowing like he was in a cheesy movie and they slowed down the scene.

And right on cue, you pushed your hand through the water in one quick motion, splashing water onto his face.

Taking a moment to process your action, cool water dripping from where it hit his chin at your childish action. His hand moved in a near mirroring of yours, splashing water right back to you with enough force that had you rubbing water from your eyes afterwards.

Your mouth was dropped to an O, even though you had started the attack. Your lips moved as if you were about to speak. Instead a little laugh has heard while you turned away from him.

Water of course slowing you down as you tried to run away from him, only taking three wide slow steps before his presence was felt behind you. Small gasp leaving your lips when his warm skin came in contact with yours, arms wrapping around your waist as he trapped you in against him.

Harry’s mind slowed again, arms tightening against you as he kept his footing firm, your back resting against his chest. He was certain that you’d be able to feel his heartbeat, not caring at the moment if you noticed how fast it was beating.

“Where are you going?”

His breath tickled your skin, not being able to help the shiver that ran down your spine – it could be blamed on the cool water or the night air, but it was really Harry’s presence behind you. His chin brushed over your shoulder, resting there for a moment.

It wasn’t until you turned around in his arms, leaving a tiny space between the two of you with just enough that when you breathed in your chest nearly brushed his, that Harry found himself truly lost for words. The water covering your skin was glowing in the dim moonlight, and he tried not to think too much about the few thin pieces of fabric that were separating the two of you.

“I want to try something.” You whispered, eyes flicking away from his for a moment to look up at the sky, before moving down to his again.

His breathing stopped, mind reeling with what you could possibly mean. Although slowly, he let you slip from his grasp and sink deeper into the water a bit, before pushing yourself up from the ground and laying your head back in the water as you moved to float on your back.

Your eyes focused on the stars above you, loving the clear sky and lightly disconnecting from the fact that you were floating in water, instead feeling like you were floating along those stars. You should feel cold by now, but you really didn’t. Your skin burned from where Harry’s skin had just been on yours, if anything you felt hot at the moment.

For what seemed like the thousandth time that night, Harry felt like everything was moving in slow motion. He dragged his eyes down your exposed body, the water on your skin glistening in the dim light. What little clothing you had on was slipping in the water, the swell of your breasts nearly exposed from under the thin fabric as you rested on your back.

He watched your eyes shut, a complete silence seeming to surround the two of you and he felt so completely at peace, deciding to follow suit and move to float gently on his back next to you.

Neither of you really knew how much time was past like this. It could’ve been less than a minute for all you knew, but it felt like an eternity. Like you had fallen asleep and this was your dream.

Eventually though, you woke up. Goosebumps were starting to rise on your skin, the cold of the water finally catching up to you. Moving your leg out to the direction that Harry was, lightly kicking him in the water as you wordlessly regained your footing in the water.

“Getting chilly,” you hummed, hugging your arms to your chest.

Harry truly could not help it when his eyes briefly dropped to where your chest stood out, hoping you didn’t notice or say anything, a deciding to blame his slip up on his state of mind. “Let’s get you warmed up then.”

The two of you wadding out of the water, jumping over to your discarded clothes. You were hit with the realization that all you had with you was you dress. It was long, going down to your shins but it was still sleeveless and probably wouldn’t do that much in keeping you warm, especially with wet skin.

“Did you want my sweatshirt?’ You briefly wondered if you had voiced all your thoughts out loud, as Harry handed his big sweatshirt over to you.

“What about you?”

“I brought my jacket, remember?” He grinned, reaching down to grab the light coat sitting against the sand. “It’s really no trouble,” adding afterwards, obviously noticing you were unsure.

“Okay,” you spoke slowly, realizing you were still nearly naked and quickly pulled on your dress before grabbing his sweatshirt. “Thank you.”

Your dress was sticking to you, nearly uncomfortably but you didn’t mind too much. Harry’s shirt was soft and warm, the perfect thing you needed to be wrapped in right now. You watched Harry pull on his trousers and zipping on his jacket. He looked a bit silly with a jacket and no shirt, but you were not one to comment considering that you were the reason he looked so silly.

You sat down with a sigh, shaking out your hair briefly, not caring that it was going to be a bit of a mess as it dried. Harry sat down next to you, silent for a bit as you both sat unsure of what the next move was.

“Do you want to,” looking over at him for a second, nearly nervous. “Smoke a bit more? Don’t really feel it anymore and this has been one of the nicest highs I’ve had in so long.”

“Sure,” Harry smiled, wiping his hands on his pants. “You’re right, it is really nice. It’s like,” he paused, thinking over his words. “Not completely stoned and out of it, but just relaxed. Feel like all my senses are heighted. My head is clear, but everything is a bit…slow.” Like all my senses are on fire, he wanted to say, but still found it in himself to sensor his words.

“Yeah.” The word was a small whisper from your lips, nodding along as he perfectly described how you felt.

“Plus,” he tapped his leg with yours as you pulled your small pipe from your bag. “Makes it better to get stoned with you. No one else I would float around with.”

Even in the cooler summer air, your body warmed at his words. “Same here.” That was all you could say.

He watched as you picked small buds from the container, quickly shutting your grinder and giving it a good amount of twists until you were satisfied. Nimble fingers plucking the plant from the grinder and placing them in the bowl of the pipe, making sure no ash was stuck in it. Gently placing the closed grinder on your lap, fishing your lighter from your bag and offering him the pipe for the first hit.

Hand wrapping around yours as he grabbed the pipe from you. You watched his lips pucker, bringing the pipe up, quickly flicking the lighter as he inhaled the smoke through the pipe.

There was something about watching someone look so peaceful as the exhaled smoke. Seeing Harry do it though, was always especially nice. He always tilted his head up slightly, jaw tense as he blew the smoke out from parted lips.

Passing it over to you, as you repeated his motions and he repeated yours as he watched you exhale.

Continuing in silence, passing the pipe back and forth a couple more times before you opened back up the grinder to add a few more pieces of the plant. Harry watched you light the bowl again, unable to take his eyes away from where you mouth met the pipe.

He had an idea. One he had had a while back actually, but it seemed to be a much better idea right now. It was the oldest trick in the book. A tale as old as time.

“There’s something I was always curious about,” he started, voice slow as he watched your every move. Turning to him with a lazy grin, handing him the pipe and watched as he fidgeted with the lighter.

“Have you ever shotgunned smoke?”

Your lips curved into a smile, knowing exactly where he was going. “Yeah… years ago when I was younger, like at parties.”

He hummed at your words, slowly nodding. You could practically see the wheels turning in his head, lips pressed to a line as he bit down on them. His eyes were bleary, and hair starting to dry in every direction. “I’ve never tried,” he started slowly. “Always had been curious if it really worked or not.”

You couldn’t help the small laugh, imagining the words he was going to say next. “Can’t really pinpoint if it does…”

“Well,” he shifted his body bit more towards yours. “We could try? You don’t have to of course, I’m just –”

“Curious.” You said the word for him, nodding. “Yeah I – if you want.”

“Okay,” his voice had dropped to nearly a whisper as he tried to not sound too eager. You moved towards him, so that your body was facing him a bit more, while still sitting close enough that your leg brushed his.

He brought the pipe up to his mouth, eyes stuck on yours. He slowly inhaled the smoke, cheeks hollowing and eyes briefly fluttering shut. Keeping his mouth closed as he moved the pipe away from his mouth and brought his other hand to hold a gentle grasp of your jaw.

Your tongue quickly darted out, wetting your lips and leaving them parted. His hand under your chin was warm. He knew very well this was probably some kind of line that would be crossed, but that was kind of the point, wasn’t it?

Titling his head down, mouth parting open to meet yours. His eyes shut closed, knowing this technically wasn’t a real kiss but wanting to treat it as such.

Your lips were soft and warm, and for a moment he forgot that he was supposed to be passing the smoke from his mouth to yours, and not kiss into your mouth until he couldn’t breath.

Harry was always warm around you. Being wrapped in his sweatshirt, having his hand on your jaw, and having his mouth against yours had you burning hot. You could feel him start to pull away from you after passing the smoke from his mouth to yours, and you couldn’t help but pucker your lips the slightest bit.

He was sure he imagined it. Your lips had barely moved against his, he wasn’t sure if it was real or not. It was as if you were about to kiss him, as if your lips were about to pucker and slide against his.

Instead, he moved his on yours. All very brief and very light, he kept his hand by your jaw and held you in place, just as you made no sign of moving away. Pressing just a small kiss on your parted lips, letting his mouth linger on yours before slowly moving away.

Watching you blink your eyes open as he did the same, completely unable to help the small smirk that grew on his lips. Letting out a little breath as the smoke escaped your mouth, unable to look away from Harry.

There was a moment of silence between the two of you, a moment a bit too long.

He broke the silence with a little laugh. “Did you… feel anything?”

You knew he was talking about the weed, on the surface he was anyway. But you also knew that he was so obviously hinting at something more, at that little almost kiss and you couldn’t find it in yourself to form one coherent thought.

“Yeah,” seemed to be the only thing you could utter right now, stuck in some kind of staring contest with him. His hand moved from your jaw, shifting a bit to sit back in his original position. You were a bit fucked out, more than a bit.

The high was the kind that made you feel calm, like you floated when you walked. Like you were sitting on a cloud instead of having to use your limbs. And, it was the kind of high that made every glance and touch that much more electric, every conversation that much more intimate.

And now sitting so close to Harry, neither of you speaking and seemingly stuck in this trance with each other, you felt like your entire body was on fire.

Though the longer the silence went on, the calmer you got and soon you were nearly laughing to yourself for no apparent reason. Relaxing in your seated position, leaning up against the log behind your backs.

Nearly at the same time, each of you looked down to the pipe that remained in Harry’s hand. Noticing it was mostly ash, and that you had both probably had enough to smoke, you decided to pack it all back up.

“Think I’ve had enough,” you hummed, feeling your high settle in nicely. Harry nodded, twisting his body around to knock out the ash from the pipe behind him. “Same here. Also I’m really starting to feel the cold.”

“You good to head back?” Brushing your hands on your dress, gathering everything up in your tote bag before turning over to Harry.

Nodding, suddenly remembering that he would be staying over at yours. That conversation felt like ages ago, like the two of you were two completely different people now than you were before. “That sounds good.”

The walk back was even quicker, both talking about whatever came to mind. You were aware of the way his arm kept brushing against yours, the way he would slightly pause the conversation when you would glance up at him.

Leading Harry up the steps that led to your door, relaxing once you entered your studio and immediately grabbing two glasses of water as you guys had emptied the bottles you brought.

“I think I have some clothes you could borrow.” You mused, finishing water as you watched Harry from across your kitchen. “Some baggy basketball shorts that I have.”

“I’m sure it’ll do,” Harry laughed, suddenly remembering how uncomfortable he was in his current clothes. His boxers had dried since your swim, but his pants still felt damp and sticky to his skin, and he wasn’t about to sleep in just his jacket. Or even his sweatshirt, but he was more than fine leaving that with you if that’s what you wanted.

You disappeared around a corner, no doubt going to look for the shorts in question. You had easily found them, happy to be true to your word, and grabbed a shirt and shorts for yourself to change into.

“Hope they fit,” you hummed, oddly aware by how quiet your apartment was. “Did you want to shower or anything?”

He shook his head, big smiling still playing on his lips. “I probably should, but I honestly really don’t feel like a shower right now.”

“I get that,” you agreed with a laugh. “The washroom is right over there. Towels in the cupboard under the sink if you need one, feel free to use anything in there.”

He only smiled over at you again, before heading to the direction that you pointed him to. You knew that you always felt a bit uneasy when you were staying over at someone’s house unplanned, especially if you had never stayed at their house before. You hoped Harry felt comfortable.

While he was in the washroom, you cleaned up the clothes that were haphazardly thrown across your floor by your bed, making sure there were enough pillows and blankets. He quickly reappeared, in nothing but that pair of your shorts.

They fit him okay, clearly a bit snug on him but you pretended not to notice. Placing his clothes on your counter, watching as you stood back up to face him. His hair was sticking up all around his face, very much unstyled after getting wet and drying outside.

“So, my couch is obviously really small,” you murmured. “It’s easiest to just share the bed, if that’s good with you.”

“Yeah of course,” he couldn’t help the smile at the thought of sharing a bed with you all night long. You nodded, telling him to make himself comfortable as you went to change in the washroom. You didn’t realize how high you were in that moment until you caught sight of yourself in the mirror.

Your eyes heavy and red, hair a mess, looking a bit silly in a long dress and big sweatshirt. Unable to help the laugh that overtook your body, washing your face and teeth before changing. You blinked slowly in the mirror, unable to focus on any aspect of your face as you always thought it was so weird when you were faced with your appearance under the influence.

Shaking any odd thought out of your head, and leaving the washroom to find Harry already made at home in your bed. He was off to one side, phone in hand and under the blanket.

Harry’s eyes jumped to you as the bathroom door swung open. You looked warm, even in a teeshirt and shorts, but you looked calm and relaxed and it made him ease onto your mattress as bit more. You sent him a smile, turning off the light by your washroom but keeping your bedside lamps on. He noticed you had quite a few lamps though your place, oddly placed around where your bed was.

“Did you want a snack, or want to watch something or…?” You trailed off, ever the host even if you couldn’t fully process your thoughts.

“I’m okay, just kinda nice to sit back y’know?” He acted as if he was tired, although oddly feeling the most awake he’d been all day.

You slid into the sheets next to him with a little nod, glad he agreed with you. Although, you felt like it was quiet, so quiet. Didn’t you usually talk more? You couldn’t remember. Being stoned with Harry was something that had happened countless times, and you were always comfortable with him, but right now you couldn’t help feel the slightest bit nervous.

The bed was soft around you, the faint smell of sandalwood incense lingering in the air. As soon as you settled in next to Harry, leaving a gap, you felt slightly more intoxicated. You knew you weren’t, that it was just the fact that you were finally lying down without any distractions (except for the man next to you), that the weed made its full affect known to you.

Making yourself comfortable on your mattress, completely in your own head.

Your nervousness was fully realized, when the feeling of the dull ache building between your thighs made itself completely known. Something that happened after smoking and was very much not helped by the memory of Harry’s lips pressed against yours, and apparently as soon as you fully relaxed next to him it, made itself known.

The subtle throbbing was overly distracting, attempting to squeeze your thighs together subtly and trying not to think about it. Realizing you hadn’t said anything in a bit, only readjusting yourself and squirming in the bed next to Harry.

“Are you okay?”

Harry’s voice was low and if anything, it made you feel even more antsy.

“Yeah,” muttering, as you shifted on the bed again and moved onto your side with the pillow pressing against your cheek. “Its just kind of… hot.”

If he caught the double meaning in your words, he didn’t say anything. Instead, he mentally paused for a second before his hand moved without his mind. He shifted a bit so that he could fully face you, as he brought his hand over to you and brushed his fingertips along your cheek.

“Burning hot,” he whispered, eyes focused on yours as he watched every reaction you had to him. You blinked quickly at his touch, just as he shifted on the mattress as well to lay facing you.

He trailed his fingers away from your face and down to your shoulder. Rubbing small little circles over your arm, moving along any line and curve in skin and muscle that was exposed to him.

“Feel’s nice,” you murmured, eyes shutting gently. Not so much in exhaust but in content. And although the feeling of his skin on yours was sending continuous little jolts through and under your skin, you didn’t want him to stop. It definitely wasn’t helping with the ache between your thighs, praying he didn’t notice at the way you shifted slightly to squeeze your legs together.

His fingers trailed along your folded arm, moving down to your hand that was resting by your face on the mattress. No words were shared, but you moved your palm to face upwards and let him play with your hand.

Mindlessly playing with each others fingers, your eyes peaking open as you grabbed his fingers in your hand, lightly tracing lines up his palm. Flipping his hand around in yours, tracing around and playing with the rings that he was still wearing.

Index finger trailing over his individual digits, your lip slipping between your teeth. You always noticed his hands, always working quickly when rolling joints, holding you warmly, and now toying with yours mindlessly as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

“What are you thinking?” Harry apparently knew you better than you realized, and maybe it had been slightly odd that you were completely silent. He could see your eyes flick over his skin, narrowing and brow furrowing every once and a while.

Your bleary eyes jumped up to his own, pausing as you registered his question. “I – it’s nothing.”

“Seems like its something,” he murmured, hand squeezing your own.

“It’s a secret,” weakly stated, watching Harry’s lips twitch with a smile at your feeble words.

“I’ll tell you one if you tell me yours,” he muttered, eyes flicking away from yours for a moment. You laughed lightly at the juvenile nature of his words, finding yourself agreeing to him.  

“Okay…”

Your hesitation only made him more curious. His eyes narrowed on you, anticipating your answer and watching every thought run across your features. “I – the high, the weed, it made me a bit… hot.”

“Y’already said that.” Harry was surprised by how hoarse his voice came out, mind jumping to conclusions about what you meant (even though he was right).

“I mean,” you couldn’t hold his intense eyes anymore. “Hot. You know… randy.”

He spluttered a laugh at your choice of words. “Randy?”

Your hand left his, covering half of your face with it instead with a little laugh. “It’s embarrassing.”

Although it really wasn’t. And you would be way more embarrassed if it wasn’t for your state of intoxication, and if it wasn’t for the fact that you were fairly sure Harry was feeling the same way.

And he was. Had been all night in fact, had been every time the two of you shared a bowl and you sat just a little too close to him, or stared at his mouth just a little too long.

“You said you had a secret too.” Your voice broke Harry out of his reverie. You were barely peaking up at him, and Harry once again felt like he was living in a movie, scenes unfolding in front of his eyes in slow motion.

“I can’t stop thinking about your lips.”

He propped himself up on his elbow a bit, able to fully glance down at you. You blinked quickly at his words, rolling over to your back seemingly deep in thought. You looked perfectly fucked out, eyes heavy and a big lazy smile lining your lips. “And what about it?”

He wanted to wipe that stupid smirk from your mouth. “Need to kiss you again.”

Suddenly your hand was behind his neck, prompting him to lower his face down until his mouth gently slotted over yours. His mouth was just as warm as it was before, softly kissing onto your top lip as he leant his body over yours.

You rolled towards him a bit, as his chest covered yours, legs lying next to yours on the mattress. The hand that wasn’t holding him up came down to your cheek, thumb brushing over your skin. Lips sliding over his, letting his tongue lazily brush against your mouth.

Sigh making its way from the back of his throat, reveling in the way you felt against him. Unable to get this out of his head since he shotgunned that smoke, since the beginning of the night, since the past couple of months in fact, finally happy to have under him with your lips pressed together.

Your fingers were weaving through his hair, other hand grabbing at his arm and tracing blind drawings on his skin. Kisses were growing deeper from soft sucking lips, grazing into each other mouths. He was sweet, like a raspberry, not too sugary and just sour enough to make you want more.

You didn’t realize you were gasping for air until he briefly pulled away, eyes fluttering open and lips curving to a lazy smile while peering down at you. His breath was heavy against yours, body sliding over a bit more so that his leg pushed its away between yours, not completely crushing you.

Another second passed, before you were chasing his mouth again. Easily falling back into the heavy kisses you were sharing, pulling more and more out of each other until soft whimpers were being shared between your mouths.

You don’t know if it was the weed or just Harry – probably a bit of both – but every touch on your skin was like a little jolt of hypersensitivity. His hand had moved down your arm again, grabbing at your waist, your hip, until his fingertips were just pushing up under your shirt and gently rubbing into the skin at your side. His bare legs were tangled with yours, not yet brushing where you were burning for him but making you feel like your legs ended and his began, not a single ounce of distance between your bodies.

And his mouth, his pretty mouth that you so often watched wrap around the butt of a joint, or the end of a pipe, was making you feel like you were in a dream. Moistened lips never leaving yours, experimenting with you as they pushed and pulled on your own. Teeth nipping you bottom lip, quickly peppering small kisses against your mouth before licking deeply into your mouth again; it felt like you might pass out from the overwhelming sense of his kisses.

You marveled in the way he grunted when you pulled on his hair, or whined when you moved your lips away form his for even a second. He was so enamoured with the way you pushed your chest up with a little back arch as his fingers gripped your particularly tight, and the soft woodsy scent of your room mingled with your sweet perfume.

He felt completely woozy with every sensation of you.

Just as he was running out of breath once again, he felt your hand snake up from his arm up to his shoulder. “Wait,” you breathed out against Harry, patting his shoulder. He quickly retreated from your mouth, eyes flicking between yours.

“Sorry I –” he cut himself off at your breathy giggle and wide smile.

You smacked your lips together, accentuating your point. “My mouth feels really dry.”

“Oh,” Harry breathed out a little giggle, head dipping down slightly. “Mine too.”

“I’ll grab us some water.” You patted his chest again, wordlessly telling him to move off of you. He complied easily, rolling over to his side and watched you slowly push yourself off the mattress, feet hitting the floor.

Your hair was untamed from your dip in the water earlier, eyes glazed over and lips kissed even darker. Harry watched the fabric of your shorts ride up your thighs, exposing just the slightest bit of your backside and his mind whirled with the memory of you nearly naked with him in the water.

Taking a second before pushing himself up from the bed, following to where you stood in the kitchen filling up two glasses of water. Silently handing him one of them, keeping his gaze with a little smile dancing on your lips while you brought the glass up to your mouth.

Tipping the glass back, he mirrored your motion and watched as you quickly finished up the water. Bringing the back of your hand to wipe at the water on the corner of your mouth, Harry didn’t know why the small and mundane move made even more blood rush to his bulge.

Refilling your cup, finishing off your second glass before turning back to Harry. His hair was sticking out every direction, eyes a bit red and small smile permanently etched on his lips. He reached out a hand across the kitchen, silently asking for you to place your own hand in his.

He pulled you towards him, laughing as you spun on your feet a bit until he had both his arms around you again. His bum hitting the counter behind him as he leant against it, pulling you close into his chest as you mirrored his actions and wrapped your arms around his middle.

“Feel better?” Chest vibrated against yours as he spoke.

“Yeah,” your voice was a whisper. “Mouth feels… wet.”

“Wet?” His eyebrows shot up, dimples on full display at his wide smile. “I like the sound of that.”

It was very apparent to you that he liked the sound of that, his hard bulge very obvious in the too small shorts you gave him, and even more apparent when his pressed his hips against your thigh. You only hummed at his words, reveling in your closeness as your nails dug into the bare skin of his back.

His lips quickly found yours again, wanting to pick up right where you left off. You weren’t giving him back the same fervour, pressing smaller pecks to his mouth and letting him chase your mouth. His lips brushed over yours but you tilted your head away as soon as he leaned it for more, hushed giggled leaving your parted lips.

A little groan building in the back of Harry’s throat at your teasing, seeking out your mouth. Growing impatient, he held you tight and in one motion spun you around so that you were now the one against the counter, trapped in by Harry’s body.

“Much better,” he muttered against your lips, catching the little smirk that he had every intention of kissing away.

You sighed beautifully against him, pressing your hips against his own and feeling the very prominent bulge that had been growing in his pants ever since your little dip in the water. Every inch of him that was on you was sending a new wave of heat under your skin. Unable to distinguish what was real and what was an effect of the weed making you feel like Kissing Harry was the only thing to keep you alive.

And then he was kissing you again. One hand still gripped at your hip, while the other moved to cup your face and tilt it towards his. His lips slid against yours slowly, kiss growing in fervour very quickly. Your hands found their way back to his hair, tugging and scratching your nails along his scalp.

Pitched whine was pulled from your mouth, his warm chest pressed against you, kiss a bit frenzied as hands seemed unable to rest on one spot on your body. Grabbing at your hip, sliding over to your ass with a little squeeze and prompted you to push your hips against his.

Other hand sliding up under your thin shirt, fingers rubbing into the skin of your tummy. His lips moved to press kisses along your cheek, urging your head to tilt back until he was licking and biting at the sensitive skin of your neck. His mouth was hot on you, whispers of your name while you whined up at the ceiling. Head dipping down until his mouth met the collar of your shirt, taking his sweet time to memorize the sweet smell of your skin and every spot that made you whimper his name.

Suddenly stepping back from you, your eyes fluttered open as if in a haze while you searched for his touch again. He was standing just a couple inches away from you, hands still resting at your sides under your shirt.

“Let’s get this off of you, baby.” He whispered, pulling tightly on the fabric of your shirt.

Lifting your arms up in the air a bit, surprised by how heavy they felt, you tilted your head at him. “Help me?”

He didn’t need to be asked twice. Hands slowly pushing up under your shirt, bunching up the fabric while he exposed more of your skin. Brushing over the swell of your breasts, lifting your arms a bit higher to allow him to pull the garment over you completely.

Shirt ending up on the counter next to you, forgotten completely when Harry’s eyes roamed over your skin. The bralette that you were swimming in already left little to the imagination, but no daydream or fantasy could do you justice.

“You are,” he sighed, closing the little gap once again as his thumbs ran over the underside of your breasts. “A dream.”

His hands palmed over your chest while he kissed you, your teeth clashing as you whispered your name against him.

Taking your time kissing him, hand sliding over the expanse of his back before you reached the small curls hanging above his neck, tugging on them between your fingers. He was licking into your mouth, pulling soft sighs from the back of your throat while he kept you pinned against the counter with his hips.

Hand on the band of the shorts he was borrowing, you slid a finger underneath and quickly released it to snap the elastic against his skin. “Come back to bed?”

You had caught him slightly off guard, pushing against his chest so that he took a step back and you slid out from between him and the counter, pulling at the waistband of his shorts again.

Shooting him one more glance over your shoulder, starting to walk the short distance back to the bed. He quickly followed suit, pitched gasp leaving your lips as he took you by surprise, arms gripping you tight and pulling you onto the bed with him.

Falling on the mattress on top of him, readjusting yourself so that you had a leg on either side of his waist, your bare chests pressed against one another.

“Quite like you like this,” Harry hummed, as your lips kissed at his jaw. Leaving small bites on the side of his neck, moaning at the way his hand moved to grab your ass, giving it a light smack.

Clothed core rolling against his crotch when he repeated the action, spurring you on while your mouth kept working on the skin under his jaw. “Like you like this very much.”

You had nearly forgotten about your state of intoxication, until Harry wrapped his arms tight around your waist and sat up. You shifted down bit on him, straddling his lap as the two of you sat so closely intertwined. You didn’t even register the movement until seconds later, your mind needing to slow down from the quick movement.

“You good?” You face must’ve expressed your dazed mind, while Harry’s quiet voice broke you out of your reverie.

“Yes,” you said, unable to help the little laugh the accompanied your every word. “The weed is just… this is such a nice high.”

“It really is,” Harry hummed, while you dipped your head down and ghosted your lips over his shoulder.

“Do you remember that time I got so spaced out, couldn’t hold a conversation?” You giggled, lips brushing his neck as you moved your head away and kept you arms wrapped around his shoulders.

Shifting on his lap a bit, chest resting against his as you couldn’t help the laugh that was building at the memory. His thumbs rubbed parallel circles in the spot above your hips, lips smoothing over your hairline. “Which time?” He was quite frankly finding it hard to think of anything else at this moment.

“There were a few,” you nodded, head moving away from the crook of his neck. “But with those edibles, those chocolate cookies remember? There were walnuts or something in them.”

You shifted on him, lifting yourself up for a second to straighten out your legs, completely sitting on his lap and wrapping your legs around his hips to have the two of you sitting pressed against the other. Harry sucked his lips in between his teeth, as you moved over just where he wanted you to.

“Those one’s yes,” his shoulders shook with a laugh. “I’d never seen you so out of it, was a bit worried.”

Tightening your thighs around him, squeezing him lightly. “I fell asleep practically on top of you,” murmuring softly, recalling when he had let you have his bed since you weren’t having a good high.

Your laughter had more or less died down, smile hadn’t left your lips all night and it was the last thing he saw before his eyes fluttered shut when you moved in to kiss him again. You hummed softly against him, Harry’s hands rubbing up and down your bare sides, before sliding all the way down and dug his fingertips into the skin of your bum.

Grinding your centre over his bulge, soft moan building in Harry’s throat at the tight pressure. The only way you could be any closer to him in this moment was if the two thin layers of clothing were removed, which you were promptly working on.

Your legs wrapped all the way around him, hips rolling against his as his hands guided you over him. You were sighing into his mouth, teeth biting into his top lip before he dipped his head down to kiss under your jaw.

And suddenly, hands that let go of your skin pushed you back against the mattress. You blinked in your daze, eyes trailing up over Harry as he sat up on his knees, before swiftly hovering back over you. Lips finding their place on your neck once again, humming against you.

Whimpering as his mouth moved down over your chest, lips circling around your nipple with a harsh suck. Your hands flew to his shoulders, fingertips trailing up to play with his hair while his mouth moved over are your exposed skin.

Warm and wet kisses followed suit, open mouth lightly biting down on your skin. He was whispering mindless things against you, just making out small praises.

Your hips were lifting against nothing in the air, urging him to pull off the little shorts as his lips trailed over your stomach. Large hand grabbing at your thigh, pushing it out as his head moved past right where you wanted him and his lips kissed up your thigh instead.

“Harry,” his name was a whine leaving your lips.

His eyes flitted up to your face for a second, mentally kicking himself for not doing it sooner. Your bottom lip was firmly lodged between your teeth, eyes barely open but a little smile still playing at your lips. He thought you looked fucked out before, but this was something completely new.

“What do you want?” Open mouth biting down at your thigh, quickly licking over the spot as your hips jolted again.

“You. Please,” you propped yourself up a bit on an elbow. “Touch me.”

Harry didn’t need to be told twice. He hooked his thumbs in the band of your shorts, your hips quickly jolting up to help him pull them over your hips. Quickly pulling them down, flicking them aside without a care once they were pulled over your feet.

“Truly a dream,” Harry’s mouth dropped, shamelessly dragging his eyes over every inch of your body. Hand quickly back on you, pushing your legs apart until your knees hit the mattress. “A dream,” he repeated, leaning back down towards you. His lips on your inner most sensitive skin of your thigh, hands holding your hips tightly.

One of your hands smoothed over your own stomach, fingertips just over where you wanted to feel him. You could feel his breath hitting your skin, a sharp inhale as your middle finger teased yourself just above your clit. “What exactly are you doing?”

“Just,” your voice was a moan. “Showing you what I want.”

“Christ,” the word came deep from the back of his throat, prompting you to lift yourself up a bit and watch him. He didn’t move from his spot between your thighs, cheek resting just on your sensitive inner leg with his palms spread over your hips, watching your fingers move down through your folds.

“Is this what you do after we smoke together?” His voice was slow, deep – dark eyes unwavering from you. You felt his breath hit your skin, hips jolting a bit as you tugged harsher circles onto your clit. “Can’t wait to fall into bed with your fingers under your dress?”

You could only moan at his words, feeling the heat of his chest on your legs and his fingers brush against your thighs, but nothing more. “Tell me, do you ever think about me?”

“Yes,” the word was a quick pant, answering him truthfully. His finger gripped you tighter at your answer, barley audible swear to himself.

Middle finger slowly dipping down, feeling how slick you were before moving back up to circle around your clit. You jolted at the feeling, falling back against the mattress with your eyes fluttering shut and Harry’s name on your lips.

“And what do you think about?” His voice was slow, the smirk on his lips nearly audible. “Tell me baby.”

“How you would feel,” you spoke in one long breath. “You – your fingers, your mouth.”

It wasn’t until you slowly pushed your finger into where you were aching, that he grabbed hold of your wrist. “Let me do that,” he hissed, pulling your hand away from yourself and slipping his mouth around the finger that had been playing with yourself.

He hummed around it, getting his first taste of you and only wanting more.

Soon that hand was weaved through his hair, as his tongue pushed through where your finger had been and he circled his lips around your clit. “That’s it,” you gasped, when his teeth just grazed over the sensitive bud, tongue smoothing over it.

“Could do this all day,” Harry’s voice was muffled, getting nearly as much out of this as you were. “You were right about being wet.” Soon his fingers joined his mouth, soaking in your wetness before pushing through your core. Every whine was laced with his name, spurring him on at your praise.

He only hummed against you, just as his lips circled around your swollen clit eliciting a sharp cry at the end of your praise. Fingers pulling tightly in his already messy locks, not caring about the roughness of your actions in the moment. All you could focus on was how you felt completely on fire by the way Harry touched you

Sucking harshly around your clit, hand that was trialing up your thigh joining his tongue as it pushed through your folds, finger slowly pushing into you. He reveled in the way you were slick around him, clenching around him at the new contact. “Oh… !”

Single finger quickly curling up and hitting that spot that made your eyes squeeze shut, noticing the way you reacted right away. “That’s it, yeah? Is it good?”

“So good.” Your hips bucked with his hand. But you wanted more, his finger wasn’t enough inside of you and you were certain he would feel so thick and heavy inside of you. Gently nudging his head up, calling his name over.

“Can we,” you panted, “I mean – I want to fuck you.”

That caught his attention. He blinked slowly, your words circling around his head. “I –” he found himself speechless. “Yes, I want you.”

Scrambling up to his knees, as you sat up as well, both breathless and wordlessly facing each other for a second. “I don’t have a condom.”

His expression faltered at your words, quickly realizing he also didn’t have one. “Me neither…”

“I have an implant. I’m checked out I’m good… I – want to feel you.”

“Fuck me, darling you…” this for sure had to be a dream. “Are you sure?”

Your hands slid up his sides, resting at his shoulders as you pulled him in for a heavy kiss. “Yes.”

It was your turn to push him back, hands immediately reaching for the band of the tight shorts and pulling them down. Throwing them aside with your own shorts, watching his length fall free. Your mouth was probably hanging open, you didn’t care. He was a dream.

You didn’t even realize you were moving your hands towards him until you saw them wrap around him, thumb brushing over his bulging red tip as you smoothed over the bit of precum. Harry couldn’t take his eyes off of you, watching in awe while you slowly pumped your hand around him.

Leg swinging around his to straddled him, wet core grinding down over him. You leant to trap Harry’s mouth in a kiss, while his hands gripped your sides tightly before sliding down to your hips. One hand still around him, glancing down as you lifted your hips.

Both of you were watching the way that you sank down around him, slowly but surely taking every inch in. “Baby I –” Harry hissed, restraining himself from bucking up into you.

The pressure burned, but not in a bad way. Maybe if you were sober you would need a bit more time to get use to him, but right now you just needed more of him. “Oh my god,” your voice was pitched, eyes shut as you felt him twitch inside of you.

Bottoming out, you felt him deep in your stomach as he hit spots you didn’t know were possible. “God, ‘s full.”

His hands found their place on your bum, squeezing tightly when you made your move on top of him, slowly rolling your hips around him. Your own hands were flat on his stomach, giving yourself leverage as you started to move up on him.

“That’s it,” he hissed, watching you sink back down, slowly getting a feel for him. You were circling your hips, grinding and rolling on him. It felt too good he forced his eyes to stay open, not wanting to miss a second of the sight in front of him.

Watching the way he disappeared underneath you, the way your breasts moved, the way your head was titled back slightly. He knew it was impossible but he wanted to keep you in this moment forever.

It was when he bucked up into you that your eyes rolled back with a moan. Repeating the action at your reaction, holding onto you tightly as he thrusted upwards into, while you rolled against him. Managing to hit inside of you so wonderfully, feeling yourself stretch out just for him. “Fuck Harry.”

The pressure he was creating in the pit of your stomach was already building, your hips moving together as you both felt on fire from every touch, every whimper, every moan of the others name. “My name – y’sound so good saying my name.” His words were strangled, you weren’t even sure you were hearing him correctly.

“Harry,” whining as a hand smoothed over your ass, urging you on top of him while his other hand grasped at your chest.

Low moan breaking the noise of your pants, your walls fluttering around Harry as you quickly found yourself being pushed closer and closer to your orgasm. Unabashedly chasing the high, the burn between your legs stronger than you think you’d ever felt it.

You knew part of that was from the drug previously smoked, but another big part of that was from the man lying under you. Harry fit so perfectly with you, fucking you so well you couldn’t even begin to think about it.

Hovering down over him, open mouth pressing messy kisses up his jaw until your mouth was on his, slowing down your motions of your hips for a moment as the two of you got lost against each other’s lips.

Harry’s thrust nearly stopping, the slow roll of your hips being the only source of friction while you tasted him for the thousandth time that night, still not finding yourself getting enough.

It was when his hand on your ass smacked your skin lightly, that he started to spur you on again. Teeth clashing with yours as he spoke against your mouth, praising you endlessly. “Look so fucking good around me baby.”

Moaning into his mouth, rising yourself up with your hands played out over his chest, rising your hips up and down over him again until your heart rate sped up again and you couldn’t help but pant.

Harry couldn’t believe the sight before his eyes. Every noise you made was music to his ears, as his fingertips dug into your skin and thrusted his hips against yours, looking for the spot that made you curl around him.

He knew you were close, and he wanted more than anything than to see you completely thrown back on top of him. Moving one of his hands around your hip, smoothing over the bottom of your stomach, sliding his fingertips over your skin until they made contact with your clit.

You were already so worked up from the way his mouth had moved against your cunt, from even before then when the two of you lay close together in bed, from even before then when the two of you swam together.

One of his hands sliding around your hips from your ass to your stomach, pressing tightly onto your lower abdomen until his hands cupped over you. Fingers finding your clit easily once again, your chest jolting forward at the sharp jolt of pleasure the new contact made you feel.

“Want you to come.” His words were hoarse, slick fingers pushing rough circles around your clit until you dropped down a bit against him, arms shaking by your sides. “Please baby.”

And then your eyes were peering into his, red and bleary with your skin burning hot. “Harry I –” mouth falling agape, not being able to find any words at the moment, when yours and Harry’s hips moved in sync, the tip of his cock hitting inside of you so perfectly and his fingers on your clit giving you just the extra push you needed.

His other hand was gripping the skin of you ass, fingertips digging crescent shaped marks into the skin as he rocked your hips with his. Lips were ghosting over your neck, with your own not far away, nearly biting down into his shoulder.

And soon you were shaking on top of him, whimpering his name unashamedly as your walls fluttered around him. Your thighs clenched him tight, vision going dark and you didn’t realize at first that it was because your eyes were squeezed shut.

Harry was muttering into the skin of your shoulder, sweet words of praise. “Look so fucking good, you are a dream,” moaning your name deeply, holding you tight against him as both your motions slowed a bit while you rode out your high.

Eyes reopening after a beat, lifting your head to look down at him. His fingers were still working slow circles on your clit, skin far too sensitive as you jolted against him. You wanted to say so much to him, yet found not ability to think of what to say or even how to speak.

So instead, your open mouth slid over his, messy kisses shared before you hoisted yourself back up so that he was hitting so deeply inside of you, knees digging into the mattress to start to move against him again.

“Fuck me so well,” Harry’s head was pushed back into the pillows behind him, skin clammy and shining, tattoos looking even better in the dim light. His hair was sprawled out and around his face messily, his lips kissed deep raspberry. Truly something out of a fantasy.

He moved slower with you than earlier, hips just rising from the mattress to meet your thrusts in languid motions. There surely should be a cramping feeling in your knees, but you didn’t feel it, or more so couldn’t. All you could focus on was the way your walls fluttered tightly around Harry, already feeling the dull burning of a second orgasm.

“’s sensitive,” you moaned as his fingers never stopped on your clit, urging you along with him as he knew his own orgasm would not be far behind.

“Take me in so well baby, wish you could see yourself,” his eyes glued to every inch of your skin, especially where he was so intimately connected to you, cock disappearing into you. “How do you feel?”

“Too good,” you cried, overly sensitive but still finding yourself wanted more and more and more from Harry.

“Want you to cum again.”

“Harry…” the feeling was overwhelming; you didn’t know if you even could.

“Feel so good cumming around me, please,” his voice was unbelievably hoarse, lips tight between his teeth.

The deep fire was building in you again, even stronger this time and Harry was very aware of it by the way to you clenched tightly around him. He wanted to see you come undone so badly, sucking in his breath and doing everything in his power to slow down his own release.

You lifted yourself on him, pace quickening a bit as he pressed you on. He was rubbing so tightly in you, the two of you truly finding your grove as he repeatedly hit the spongy spot that made you see stars.

“Cum for me,” he said, as if it was a chant. “Need you to.”

You were so overstimulated; you didn’t even know what to do. “I don’t know if – fuck Harry it’s so much.”

Falling back onto his chest slightly, hitting a new angle inside that made you move quick short thrusts on top of him.

His lips quickly found your skin, sucking and biting onto your neck as he wanted nothing more than to have you come undone around him for the second time. Your name sounded heavenly as he moaned it.

You knew he was not far behind, his motions getting more and more sporadic, sound of slapping skin filling the room as his chest heaved. “Please.”

And then you were pushed over the edge again, jolting so quickly against him it nearly scared him. You fell completely against him, bare chest pressed tight onto his it trapped his arm. The moan that came from deep in your chest was barely human, breathy and loud and Harry knew it would be playing on replay in his head for the rest of his life.

“Thank you thank you thank you.” Harry’s orgasm followed suit quickly after yours, not being able to hold back when you clenched to tightly around him he could barely move. Slow thrusts he released inside of you, feeling his cock twitch with every drop.

He slid his hand from between your body’s, falling to his side on the mattress as neither of you made another move, chests moving quickly as you tried to catch your breath. You could’ve passed out right then and there, completely content with Harry as close as he could possibly be.

Slowly blinking your eyes open, head moving up to gaze down at Harry. Teary eyes blurring your vision slightly, offering him a sly smile as you shifted off a him with a heavy sigh.

“That was…” Harry’s voice cracked as he turned his head towards you, unable to take his eyes off of you “Better than I could’ve dreamt.”

                                                           ***

The first thing you felt when you woke up was the same grogginess you always had after a restful night sleep. That, along with a strong arm wrapped around your middle, some breaths gracing your neck.

The second thing you felt was a slight panic of not knowing what time it was.

Fearing maybe you had overslept and might be running late for work, you scrambled up in bed while you tried to figure out whether or not there was a shift to get to.

Your sudden action had stirred Harry in his sleep, groggy eyes peeking open at your from where he laid next to you on the bed.

“Wha’s wrong?”

Deep voice pulled your attention away from your confused thoughts about which day was it really, feeling the mattress shift as Harry rose to a seated position.

You felt his breath hit your shoulder, an arm circling around you and lips on the nape of your neck. “I have to get to work.”

“You do?” His lips trailed across your neck, chest pressing against your back as he his craned around to rest his chin on your shoulder.

“Yes – fuck.” You sprang up suddenly, catching sight of the mainly decorative clock that you had hanging up on the opposite side of your studio.

Rising to your feet, Harry’s arms falling down to the mattress as the two of you lost contact. It wasn’t out of nowhere that you’d smoke on a night before you had to get up and get ready for work, after all it was a half day shift today but you were usually in bed and fast asleep not too late.

“I’m really sorry,” you called out from behind you, as you quickly dug through your drawers to look for a new pair of underwear. “I completely forgot…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Harry spoke softly from where he sat on the bed. He didn’t voice it of course, but he really did wish you could crawl back in bed with him. By the looks of the hazy orange sky, the day was just starting and he’d much rather start it with his arms wrapped around you.

It really was no worries, you couldn’t do anything about the fact that you had to get to work. Rising up to his feet, watching you half naked scurry around your studio in search of clothes to wear, pulling them on and then quickly off against as you seemed to change your ideas about your outfit.

You rushed off to the washroom, mentally scolding yourself for not showring last night, at least to get refreshed. Realizing that your hair was what it was, not able or having the time to tame it all that much and did what you could.

Quickly going through your routine, brushing your teeth and dotting on some makeup, re-emerging from the washroom to find Harry dressed and helping himself to some water.

“I’m sorry,” you repeated, as he turned to face you at the noise of the washroom door opening.

He beamed at you, quickly placing his glass back down on the counter. “Don’t be, really no need to apologize. Can I drop you off or anything?”

You paused, returning his smile. “Yeah that’d be great actually! Thank you.”

And soon you were sitting in the passenger seat of his car, giving him directions to you work. You wished your morning hadn’t started like this, you wished that you could stay in bed and have some coffee with Harry, but instead you were a disaster rushing off to work.

He got you there in record time, even with a few minutes to spare, just before 8. Bag in hand, facing Harry with a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry again…”

“Stop apologizing, darling.” And although he was ever so accommodating to rushing you off to work, he still missed you touch on his.

Just as you were reaching for the door handle of the car, his hand gripped your forearm. “Wait! Just –”

And he was leaning over the center console, other hand cup your jaw and was pulling your lips to his. “Just wanted another taste.”

Leaving a short sweet kiss to your lips, breaking away with a grin and the minty taste of your toothpaste. “I’ll see you soon.” Returning his sentiment, the image of his wide grin etched into your brain for the rest of the day.

Thinking over the previous night; the smoking, the swimming, the sex.

It all seemed too good to be true, but the left over feeling of Harry’s lips on yours very much reminded you that it was real, and you really couldn’t help the little smile that grew at the thought of it.

The ghost feeling of his body underneath yours, his hands gripping your tightly and his lips moving all over your skin. It was something you had secretly thought about before, usually in an inebriated state after sharing a pipe with Harry, and you were truly hoping Harry felt the same.

                                                          ***

You didn’t get that confirmation until nine days later, both finding time in your schedules to head back to that little beach by your place.

He greeted you on the sidewalk in front of your apartment like last time, sunglasses on and big smile adorning his lips. “Hey,” extending an arm out, inviting you in for a little hug.

“You look nice,” he muttered into your hair, as you circled your arm around him.

“Thank you,” you hummed, both starting the small walk that led to the water from your street. You easily fell into conversation, catching up over small things like how work was going and anecdotes about your mutual friends.

The both of you made yourselves comfortable at that same spot you had last time, laying out the tapestry to sit on.

“I brought snacks,” you reached over to your back, pulling out a couple containers – some filled with fruits and another one with crackers and hummus. “

“Stunning,” Harry reached for the food you had pulled out, reaching for the cut orange slices.

“Did you want to smoke, or…?” Harry’s expression didn’t change as you asked him. You didn’t know why you felt nearly nervous, as if this wasn’t the first time the two of you spent time alone together.

“Not really,” he finally said, leaning back on his elbows and extended his legs out, looking out in front of him. “You go ahead, I just…”

He never finished his sentence, and you just hummed in agreement, deciding not to smoke either. Quiet music filled the little silence, before you guys once again easily feel into conversation while you snacked away.

It was comfortable, and you liked the way he sat so close to you, your legs resting on his. The sun was still out and shining, small breeze keeping you cool, filled with the warm smell of the air around you.

Eventually you were both lying back on the blanket, you on your back and Harry on his stomach right next to you. The only sound between the two of you was the music coming from Harry’s phone. He had his arms next to yours, aimlessly trailing fingertips along your skin just as he had the last time you were together.

Arms hanging by your sides, fingers moving from your arms to trace patterns over the fabric of your shirt. He lifted his head for a moment, mouth opening as if to say something but no words came out.

You didn’t notice at first, but by the third breathy sigh coming from his lips, you realized he was tempting to say something. “What’s up?”

“Nothing really, just thinking.”

“What about?” Moving up a bit on your elbows so that you could sit up, watching his hands fall down from your body and onto the towel under the two of you.

“I just –” he paused, head turning away from yours for a second before meeting your eyes again. “I really like spending time with you, you know that right?”

You warmed at his words. “I think I do, yeah.”

Just making out the smile that played on his lips, before he turned his head away from your, resting on his opposite cheek. You kept your eyes on him, feeling as though he had more to say but instead mindlessly played with a thread that was fraying from the blanket.

“Was that all?” You eventually spoke up, nudging his back with your arm. He shifted his head, taking a second before he faced you again.

“What?”

“Was that all you wanted to say?” You knew you were teasing him, watching a red blush splatter across his cheeks.

He shifted again, rolling over from his stomach to his back, bringing a hand up to his forehead to block out the sun while he kept his gaze locked up towards the sky. Mouth falling open, taking another beat before he spoke.

“Seemed kind of inevitable, didn’t it?”

“What?” You had no idea what he was talking about. Sitting up, slightly, resting on your folded elbows to hold your upper body up.

“I just mean…” he sighed, head rolling over to look at you. “Us. Seemed a bit inevitable no?”

Your smile grew. “What do you mean inevitable?”

His cheeks grew even redder. “You know what I mean. Smoking together and all, could never get enough of you.”

It was your turn to warm at his words as he kept speaking. “And I do like smoking with you, and spending time with you, and…” he trailed off, silently saying that he really liked being intimate with you.

“And?”

He lifted himself up with a laugh, leaning over you to press a small kiss to your shoulder. “And had extra fun spending time with you that night.”

“So did I,” your voice dropped down to a whisper, his face close to yours once again.

“And,” he continued, eyes gleaming. “I like not smoking with you too. I just,” he paused again. “Like being with you.”

He had the widest grin you’d seen on him, and you were sure that your face was mirroring his expression. Bring a hand up to his neck, pushing some hair that was hanging a bit lower through your fingers, before pulling him in for a slow kiss.

Lips naturally slotting over yours, encompassing your mouth with his as he sighed against you. “I like being with you too,” you hummed, pulling and nearly feeling intoxicated all over again with out even having to touch a drug.

Harry’s mind slowed, watching your lips curve into a smile before meeting your eyes again. He loved the little laugh that laced your words, the same one you had when you smoked too much and couldn’t form a sentence due to your own laughing. Better than any dream.

[livexdolan]

40 & 70 with gray? :)

40. "Thought I told you to stay by my side, eh?"  & 70. “You know what? Never-mind, you’ll know I’m lying to you anyway.” 

Masterlist

Whenever people found out who your best friend was- you knew they were trying to keep from laughing in your face. If he weren’t standing right next to you when you told people, sometimes they would think you were lying.

You’ve been friends with Grayson Dolan for more than a decade, knowing each other since elementary school. By high school, you drifted apart socially but you still hung out at each other’s houses, played video games, helped him with projects, even decided to go to the same college.

You handled Grayson’s popularity in high school well and he handled your lack of popularity well. All you prayed was college would be different.

It wasn’t.

Grayson decided to join Theta Xi, known to be the biggest pothead frat but also the best partiers. You told Grayson that maybe your friendship wasn’t going to work out, this was the sign. Grayson argued with you and spent weeks proving the frat would never change him.

Three years and a presidency later, he had changed. Yet for some reason, she stayed.

Well, she knew the reason, she’s been in love with him since the first time they kissed. It was on a rock in the forest behind his house, they were 16 and 17 and he had just learned no one had ever kissed her before.

After that, she knew she had to stay in his life even though she wasn’t his type at all and he had never given her any reason to believe he was interested in her as more than a friend.

Now, she’s cursing at the way she always get blindsided when it comes to Grayson. He talks her into the stupidest shit because he asks her in ways that she doesn’t realize what she’s getting into but by the time she finally realizes, it’s too late to back out.

Like right now, leaning against the counter in one of the kitchens. The frat house was split into four quads downstairs and two quads upstairs. Each quad has two bedrooms, a kitchen, and a small living space, which all lead out into the main, large room of the house where the main part of the party is happening.

She could still hear the music thumping beneath her feet, she was upstairs in the ‘off-limits’ quad. It was Grayson, Ethan, Ryan, and Mando’s rooms up here.

Grayson’s the president, E’s vp, Ryan’s in charge of everything grayson doesn’t want to deal with but his official title is treasurer, and Mando’s in charge of all things social media for the frat.

I’m in Ethan and Grayson’s kitchen, the cleanliness not surprising seeing as Ethans girlfriend pretty much lives with them at this point. I always try to clean up Grayson’s room and bathroom when I’m over, the OCD type A freak in me hates seeing his books everywhere, trash cans full of bottles, laundry piled in the corner.

It’s not like that most of the time though, that only happens on his bad weeks. Those are the weeks when he falls into this funk and only talks to me and Ethan. We all give him space because we know why it’s happening, they started right after their dad died.

Mr. Dolan dying was so hard on everyone. My family included. My dad wasn’t a very stand-up guy, and Mr. Dolan always made me feel welcome and was the kind of dad I always imagined my dad to be.

“Thought I told you to stay by my side, eh?" I jump at the deep voice, turning to see Grayson standing in the doorway, looking like an angel committing a sin by looking so hot.

He has on a pair of slacks and a loose, silk shirt, the pattern almost matching Ethans. The theme for the night was Coachella. Even if we were many states away and most of the people here couldn’t afford to even look at Coachella tickets.

I let him talk me into coming, wearing a knit triangle bralette top and off-white shorts Grayson picked out, I just realized my shorts match his pants perfectly.

I quirk my eyebrow at him and cross my arms, “I’m sorry, did I leave you to play beer pong?”

He smiles at me and I want to slap it off his face- or kiss it off- either is fine with me, “I’m sorry, angel. Just come back down and enjoy the rest of the party with me, I won’t ditch you again, I promise.”

Grayson’s always done his hardest to keep ever promise he’s told me, so I push off the counter, my entire hard-ass demeanor falling away and my normal, shy and reserved self takes it’s place. He grabs my hand and I try to ignore the pleasure I get from feeling his warmth on mine.

He pulls me towards the stairs and then we walk down together, me slightly behind him. He abruptly stops and I bump into him, cursing at him but he squeezes my hand, silently telling me to shut up.

I look over in time to see Dylan here, with McKenna. Dylan was my first boyfriend, though we’re only kissed and cuddled, I thought we were serious. Until I found out he had been sleeping with my dorm mate the entire time. That was freshman year, I should be over it. I am over it, but the look Grayson gives me tells me I don’t look as though I’m over it.

“C’mon.” Grayson pushes us through the crowd, keeping us out of the line of sight of my ex.

We duck into one of the quads and I realize too late- it’s the pot quad. The rooms filled with a thick haze, the slight soundproofing making the vibes much more calm and relaxing. There’s only a dozen or so people but I feel much better in here than out there. Even if I don’t smoke.

Someone passes Grayson a blunt and he takes a quick hit, “I feel like I should stay sober to make sure that asshole doesn’t even look at you,” I smile at Grayson’s protectiveness.

“I’m fine. It was a while ago, Gray. I’m over it,” I shrug. Maybe it would’ve hurt more if my heart didn’t belong to someone else.

I make a quick decision and go to take the blunt. Grayson pulls back, the weed out in the air where I can’t reach it, “What do you think you’re doing?”

He raises his brow and I scoff, rolling my eyes, “Give it to me, Grayson. I just want one hit.” He pulls back again when I try to reach out.

He just shakes his head and it feels like his patronizing a child, “this shits strong, angel. You can’t handle it.”

Something about the way he said it sends me back to a memory I forgot ever happened. After Dylan took me out for our five month, we went back to his place and we started making out. I tried to reach for his belt but he pulled away, telling me I wasn’t ready. Couldn’t handle it. That I was too immature and if I wanted it to be great, I should lose a little weight, because skinny girls have the best sex.

I snatch the blunt from Grayson, taking a hit before he can stop me. Fuck men. Fuck all men who think they know what I can and can’t handle. I think I inhaled to much because when I exhale I feel a heavy burn and a dry cough comes up my throat.

Grayson pats my back, “Angel-“

“Don’t.” I push his hand off me. Taking a deep breath, I see Grayson watching me closely. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look it. What is wrong with you tonight?” He asks me and I roll my eyes.

“You know what?” He looks at me expectantly and I sigh, “Never-mind, you’ll know I’m lying to you anyway.”

He grabs my hand and takes me out of the small room, moving us through the crowd to the back porch- a large, glassed in room. There’s only a few people out here.

He grabs my arms, “what’s wrong, y/n? Is it Dylan? I’ll kick him out if you want. ”

I look up into his eyes, the sincerity there surprising me. Grayson’s always been so honest with me. It’s time I’m honest with him. I don’t know if weed works this fast or if it’s the beer I downed earlier but I decide to be honest with him, “No, it’s not Dylan. I wasn’t even that hurt when we broke up. That’s because- I uh- I like you, Gray. I’ve had a crush on you since eleventh grade. I want to be with you. I mean- with you with you. I want to wake up next to you and hold hands and kiss and hug and- I want you to love me as much as I love you.” I rant.

His hands fall off my arms and my eyes well up, knowing the thing I’ve always feared is about to happen. He’s rejecting me. “Y/n I- I care about you. So much. But I- this isn’t a good idea.”

His words break my heart and I keep my gaze on the ground, “Um- okay. Well, I’m gonna- I have to go.” I say, looking up at him and biting my lip to hold back tears.

I turn on my heel and practically run back into the main room, trying to get out of this house as quickly as possible, “Y/n! Come back! Wait!” I hear Grayson’s voice and the tears start to fall, I push through the crowd faster, when someone grabs my arm, stopping me.

“Y/n?” I look up at Dylan, standing with McKenna. His eyebrows furrow when he sees me crying.

“Let me go,” I state, trying to get my arm out of his tight grip.

“What’s wrong? Who-“ he stops when he sees someone behind me, “Of course it was you. You’re such an asshole. What did you do to her?” He demands and I finally get my arm away from him.

Turning to see Grayson with rage in his eyes. He never got over Dylan cheating on me, “I didn’t do anything to her. You’re the piece of shit who cheated on y/n. How dare you come into my house and accuse me of hurting my best friend?” Grayson spits and I grab his arm out of instinct as he lurches forward.

“Gray, stop.” I say, he looks away from Dylan’s smirk to make eye contact with me for only a second before shrugging my hand off him.

“Yeah, Gray. Listen to your girlfriend. Don’t wanna embarrass you in your house, right?” Dylan mocks and I roll my eyes, knowing he’s just trying to rile Grayson up.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” the words are out of his mouth so quick, I don’t even realize what he said at first. I scoff and roll my eyes.

Because this is the time to correct him. You know what, “Fuck you.” I spit at Grayson and push my way out of the small circle forming around us. I make it to the front door when I hear a loud crack, looking back to see Dylan on the ground holding his nose and Grayson looking for me in the crowd.

We make eye contact and I shake my head, knowing this is the end of us. I open the door and slip out, running down the road, passing all the other fraternity houses. I can feel my heart pounding in my ears but I keep pushing myself until I get to my apartment, knowing it’s only a mile or so.

Once I get inside I slide down the door, leaning against it as I realize that happy ever afters are fake. The person you love isn’t always going to love you back. Fuck fairytales.

It’s not like I can hate Grayson- he didn’t know. I can hate him for not chasing me. He probably realized I’m not worth it. Best friends don’t run after each other, right? If he loved me, he wouldn’t have let Dylan get to him. He would’ve grabbed me and made me stay.

Tears fall down my face unrestrained as my heart clenches at the thought of never being friends with Grayson again. We’ve gone through death, high school, years of people trying to pull us apart, and I was able to ruin our friendship with three words.

If it was meant to be, he would’ve fought for me. Figuratively, not physically, seeing as he already punched someone tonight. I drag myself to my room and fell into the blankets, closing my eyes. I pray I will forget this night ever happened.

Next Part...

A/n: For all my people who didn’t get their fairy tale ending ❤️

[1engele]

daybreak | sal fisher x fem!reader - 8. solo

Previous | Next

[warnings: underage drinking, smoking, weed, near death experience?, crying]

"never have i dealt with anything more difficult than my own soul." — You leave the roof late in the night. Sal had gotten up and retreated into his apartment a little while earlier—but you'd decided to stay and make sure he didn't come back there.

Three days pass. They all consist of fleeting glances and irresolute tension. Things remain the same with the group dynamic, except for between you and Sal. Neither of you seem to know how to continue from that conversation on the roof. No one else notices, though. They'd never suspected anything from the beginning, it seems.

The beginning of your involvement with Sal involved a little bit of buildup and then a snap which resulted in a sexual encounter (or two).

Now it was a bit different. Now things were a little less lighthearted.

It's a Saturday—you'd planned to spend it inside as usual. That's until your phone starts ringing.

You flip your phone open, read over the contact, and answer the call.

"Hi, Ash."

"Y/N," she starts. You hear the excitement to continue in her voice. "There's a party tonight."

"Oh?" You get up from your seat on your bed.

"Some stoner Larry has connections with invited him and said to bring friends. He wants to bring us—save for Todd. He doesn't do parties."

"Wait," your eyebrows furrow. "Me?"

"Yeah!" She says from the other end of the line. "It'll be fun. Cmon."

You bite your lip nervously, anxiety knotting in your stomach. "I don't know. I've never really.."

Ashley is momentarily silent on the other line. She must be contemplating what to say to convince you. "Sal's coming too. Parties aren't necessarily his thing, either—so maybe you guys could try it out together?"

You open your mouth and then promptly close it. Something inside of you suddenly really wanted to go to this party. "Um... alright. Okay."

"Cool! What're you gonna wear?"

You look toward the drawer that contained your clothes and bit your lip. "Not sure yet. I'll update you on that."

"Okay, don't forget to text me! See you at eight."

The call declined from the other line. The phone that held the phone to your ear slipped into your lap. You pressed your lips together and tried to ignore the familiar feeling of sickening nausea and anxiety.

You don't rush yourself on getting ready for the party, because the time you're due to be done won't be for a while.

You take your time with the hours you have. You shower, take your time on eyeliner, mascara, and lipgloss—and finally decide on what you'll wear.

You decide on a square neck white cropped tank with short sleeves and your nicest pair of light blue, slightly washed out jeans. You slid on your favorite, sort of chunky white sneakers over white socks.

It isn't long after you finish when Ashley calls and informs you she's arrived at the apartments and Larry and Sal have already joined her out in the car. You give yourself a once-over in the mirror and then leave the apartment.

Your mother was nowhere to be found. She's either at work or drinking with her coworkers.

Once you've opened the door and climbed into the Ford Fiesta, you immediately realize your predicament—Sal is the only person in the backseat with you.

The drive there is decently long and painfully tense. Neither you nor Sal know how to speak to each other, so no words are exchanged beneath the heavy metal music emitting from the radio.

When you finally arrive at the party, it's recognizably crowded, drunken teenagers are flowing from the front door, in and out, and there's a good amount on the lawn. The newest radio hit is playing on a considerably loud speaker, and the vibrations are notable even from a distance.

"Woah," Larry says, staring at the house as Ashley pulls onto the side of the road. "Didn't realize he was so popular."

You all exit the Ford Fiesta and cross the road. You cringe as you watch someone vomit onto the grass, and another person ripping from a bong in the wide open.

Smoke flies into your face and your eyes as you enter the home. You cough, waving a hand as you blindly follow after your friends.

Eventually, the four of you find yourself on two couches directly facing each other. You on one, Larry and Ashley on the other. Sal is stood to the side.

Larry materializes a bottle of Fireball that you guessed he stole from someone on the way in, opens the cap with his teeth, and takes several gulps.

"Where did you get that?" Ashley laughs over the music, pulling the sleeves of her lavender sweater over her hands.

"Stole it," he looks to Sal and directs the bottle toward him. "Want some?"

"Sure," Sal replies, to your surprise—taking it from Larry's grasp and walking away and in your direction.

"You're drinking that?" You ask him, testing the waters.

"No, actually," you watch Sal round to the other side of the couch to linger behind you. "I'm limiting him. He'll thank me later."

Once he's out of your field of vision, you tip your head back and gaze up at him—your perspective on him being upside down. Your gaze zeroes in on the bottle of Fireball he's clutching in his hand.

"Hey," you say, meeting his eyes. "Give me some."

It was time to give him that excuse—the excuse to break the ice.

He leans in a bit, gesturing toward you with the bottle. "You want it?"

A grin pulls at your glossed lips. Instead of reaching for the bottle, you open your mouth and tilt your chin up.

Sal looks on for a moment but laughs once he realizes what you want. Everyone else at the couches seem decently distracted with each other and the overall environment—so he doesn't seem to worry about it too much.

He reaches his hand around and towards your neck, gripping your jaw in his fingers and holding you firmly. You feel his cold rings press into your skin when he tips your head further back just a bit—and then steadily pours a shot-amount of Fireball into your mouth with his other hand.

Sal stops at the right time, looks on as you pull back and sit up, and cautiously watches the back of your head as you assumedly swallow the whisky. But when you turn a bit in your seat to peer at him over your shoulder, you're holding your mouth closed and pressing a closed fist to your lips while soundlessly giggling.

"What?" He laughs, a hand moving to the top of the couch. He leans in a bit. "Can you not swallow it?"

Your shoulders shake slightly as you continue to laugh. You shake your head up and down.

"Do you need to spit it out?" Sal asks, his tone warming into concern.

You shake your head from side to side. You meet his eyes and swallow, gasping as the liquid slides down your throat and burns all the way down. You cough, the flavor of cinnamon and what tasted like Big Red gum overloaded your senses.

"God," you breathe out, giggling all the while. The alcohol is gross but you're feeling good. "It's not great."

"Yeah, that's why I'm holding Larry off, so he won't be puking his guts out later."

You look up to the boy, who's sat on the arm of the couch opposite to you. He's busy talking to some equally stoned guy, so you can't manage to catch his eye—but you catch Ashley's.

She had this look of astonishment on her face.

Had she been watching what happened? When Sal poured Fireball in your mouth?

Your face grew hot thinking about it.

Sal wanders away from you again, and you find yourself drinking more than you should. Eventually, your rationality disappears.

It's been a few hours and Sal hasn't seen you for a while. So when he hears about a girl wearing a white crop top walking across the roof of the house, he feels like he's going to vomit.

It takes him a record time of 6 seconds to get out of the door and onto the lawn. Upon looking up at the roof, his suspicions are confirmed. He shoulders past multiple people to place himself near the front of the crowd and gazes up in horror.

"Sal!" You yell, gesturing toward him with something between a wave and a point. "I'd recognize that hair anywhere!"

Multiple heads within the crowd turn away from you and towards him. He puts aside his social anxiety and the wave of unease that washes over his body and tries to focus on you. "Please come down," he rushes out, raising his voice just enough for it to be audible over the crowd.

You laugh like he's told a hilarious joke and he quickly realizes his mistake. That's the worst thing he could've told your intoxicated self. You move toward the edge of the roof, shaky and uncoordinated. "You want me to jump?"

"No!" He exclaims, his hands flying up, fingers splayed. "No. Don't do that!"

"Holy shit!" He hears Larry shout from somewhere closer to the front door of the house. Sal guesses he's just now catching wind of the current situation. Moments after, both of his brunette friends are at his side.

"What the hell is going on?!" Ashley yells, verdant eyes glued to the sight before them.

You lost your balance once again, but this time a bit worse—your foot catching on a shingle on the roof and effectively knocking the red solo cup out of your hand. It dropped onto the downward slope of the roof and the liquor inside of it spilled down the side.

Whenever Sal witnessed the toe of your white sneaker catch onto that shingle, he felt as though his very soul had been ripped from his body. Immediately after he watched you regain your footing and stable yourself, though—his heartbeat calmed to a steadier pace.

"I'm going up there," he stated beneath the chatter.

Both Ashley and Larry's heads whipped toward him.

"You'll kill yourself!" Larry exclaims incredulously. Ashley opens her mouth to assumedly second Larry's statement, but Sal cuts her off by walking away.

"Not before she does," he mutters, pushing his way through the density of bodies and forcing his way through the front door. His senses are disoriented like he's been submerged beneath water as the volume of the music scratched at his eardrums and pulsed the innards of his skull. Adrenaline courses through his blood like a drug whilst he shoulders past both mindlessly drunk and carelessly high teenagers.

Sal doesn't spare them a second glance, but their unconcern does remain in his mind. The fact that they're continuing their lives while he feels as though something that's growing into something of importance in his is about to be taken from him... it's mind-numbing.

He's never been an optimistic person, he's always tried to view things in the way they're most likely to happen—and all that's beneath that two-story house is a long drop and concrete. If you fall, you'll break your head open and you'll die.

He finally makes it to the stairs. He makes a break for it then, tripping over his own feet multiple times. Anything could happen in this amount of time, and he knew no one else was going to help him.

Sal's thoughts grow more and more disordered as he navigates the dark halls of the house. The music seems to have only grown louder, the deafening mixture of guitar and drums taunting him.

He remembers the window on the outside of the house. Sal estimates which room it would be, locates it, and approaches the door. He turns the knob, but it doesn't fully rotate.

The door is locked from the inside. Of course. Who would have a party and leave the bedroom unlocked so people could fuck all over your comforter?

He bites out a curse only he hears and prepares himself to force the door open.

Sal grabs the doorknob tightly, prepares himself, and rams the side of his body into the wood. He doesn't even feel the pain, just does it again, and again.

He goes until that half of his body is numb.

The door finally budges, and he wastes no time entering the room. He doesn't hesitate when he reaches the double-hung window he'd been seeking. He grips it at the bottom and pulls it up and open, clenching his teeth together painfully.

Sal stares out at the vastness of the night, the golden streetlights, and how they shine down on the crowd of people below him. They all seem to be looking at the same place, up, but not at him—and he can only swallow thickly.

Carefully, Sal moves to sit on the windowsill, gripping what was above him tightly, his legs outside. He then ducks to leave the room and shivers as cool air hits the front of his neck.

He starts walking the roof, steadily—like his life depends on it. Because.. it does.

Or yours. Yours depends on it.

"Y/N!" Sal calls as he finally reaches a point where you're in his line of sight. Momentarily, he's worried he'd scared you. But you turn your head, meet his eyes, and smile. Despite that, your face spells fear all over it. Something must have sobered you up a bit while he'd been inside.

"I'm going to come to you. Do not walk towards me!"

You blink lazily, because you were drunk, and nodded. You shivered, hugging yourself. It didn't seem to do much, though. Your arms were bare.

"Fuck," he breathes, gazing down at the fall that could await him if he misstepped and immediately reverted his gaze. Blood rushes between his ears as he steadily makes his way towards you.

"Please don't fall!" You suddenly exclaim, your hair tussling in the breeze. A strand blows over your face, so you quickly raise a hand to move it back in place.

He looks up from his feet and stares you in the eyes. "I won't," he affirms, you and himself, continuing across the roof. "Just stay put, okay?"

It doesn't take long to get over to you. He's mostly sober, so it isn't hard on that part. What's difficult is calming his steady heart.

He's not scared of falling. Not necessarily scared of injury or death. But he is scared of not making it to you.

Once he's at an arms reach of your shaking form, he reaches out a hand, palm facing the darkness of the sky.

You seem to read his mind, slowly grabbing his hand. Sal maneuvers your joint hands to where your palms press together and your fingers are interlaced. He doesn't know if it's the blood rushing through his ears or the distance from the ground, but it's as if everything below becomes very quiet.

You meet his gaze, your pretty eyes glossy with tears. The eyeliner you were wearing had just begun to collect beneath your lower lash line.

He squeezes your hand and leads you to be in front of him.

It's not long after that that he's gotten you off of the roof. Sal watches you slip through the open window before turning toward the density of people beneath him on the ground. He breathes in as he catches both Larry and Ashley's eyes—he can't read their expressions, but he wouldn't be surprised if there was shock written all over it—and then ducks back into the window.

As soon as the window is shut and it meets the windowsill once more, Sal whips his head toward you. "Y/N-"

Before he'd saw your face, and the language of your body as you were sat on the edge of the bed, he was going to scold you, and then go downstairs and find you some water and sober you up—all of that falls down the drain when he sees the stream of tears falling down your face. Every time you blink, more drop—quickly staining your cheeks with black makeup.

"Oh," he breathes, suddenly speechless. "Y/N-"

You attempt at taking a breath in, it seems—but it's a failure because it hitches and turns into a shoulder-shaking sob.

"I'm sorry," you cry, roughly dragging the tips of your fingers beneath your eyes. This only smears the running mascara further. "I'm just drunk."

Sal momentarily feels like breaking down in tears himself, that's how much this entire ordeal stressed him out. He approaches your trembling body and crouches down in front of you.

"Hey," he says, softly. "It doesn't matter whether or not you're intoxicated. Your feelings still matter, okay?"

You sniffle, still attempting to wipe your tears away, and reluctantly nod. "I'm sorry," you try again.

He places his hands on your knees and squeezes them firmly. "It's okay."

You jerk into a sob, leaning forward and pressing the side of your face on his shoulder. You slowly tuck your arms beneath his and cross them over the expanse of his back, palms flat on each shoulder blade. The convulsive gasps were hard to stop, making it hard to breathe.

Sal breathed out softly against the prosthetic, raising his arms and encasing them around your torso.

He didn't wonder about the reason for your tears. Assuming things wouldn't help you anymore.

"I don't know why I did that," you whisper, quieting yourself to swallow your saliva. "Maybe I do. I think I was trying to prove something to myself."

He finds himself holding you tighter, your chest pressed to his, feeling your heartbeat through the fabric that separated you both—oddly enough, even at this moment, it reminds him of that night in the car. You had been even closer to him then, though.

"It was stupid," you murmured. "Why would I do that, after what we had talked about last night?"

"What if we jumped together?" he remembers saying.

"Some things can't be explained," he replies earnestly. "You don't need to know why you did what you did. It was stupid, though. I'd probably walk across the roof of a two-story house for you again, but.."

You pull back and meet his eyes, your face wet. The majority of your makeup had been cried off and your lipgloss had been smudged.

You must've sensed his examination, breaking the visual contact and sniffling. "I know I look ridiculous right now."

Sal smiles. He knows she can't see it, but maybe she'll hear it. "I don't think so," he murmurs, looking off to the side. "I think that's a bathroom. You can clean up in there if you want."

You follow his gaze and then return your eyes to his and laugh a bit. You still sound drunk, he notes. Obviously. He'd poured a good amount of Fireball into your mouth and watched you drink plenty of other things.

"Feels kinda weird using a stranger's bathroom," you laugh, your breath hitching from the earlier crying.

Sal rolls his eyes humorously, gripping your knees tighter as he pulls himself off of the floor. "The guy who lives here is Larry's friend—and a stoner. I doubt he'd mind. And if he does get mad, I'll take responsibility for it. I forced that door through, anyway.."

Your gaze swivels toward the door, which is not shut but mostly closed. When he glances to where you're looking, he notices it seems a bit.. crooked.

He inwardly cringes. "I'll pay for it. Come on."

Sal follows you into the bathroom. You seem reluctant to enter first, so he does, opening the door and reaching to the side to turn the lights on. They do what they're supposed to—eventually. They're momentarily unresponsive before becoming alive—the illumination brightening the room with a dull yellow hue.

You step onto the tile and began to search for whatever it was you needed. You kneeled at one of the cabinets below the sink, opened it, and ducked your head lower.

"Oh!" You exclaim quietly, reaching in and pulling out two things. A bottle of half-empty makeup remover and a bag of some cotton rounds.

"Maybe he has a girlfriend?" He hears you say to yourself, standing up, nudging the cabinet closed with your foot, and placing the things you found beside the sink.

Sal reaches over and closes the door. He'd rather not have to witness the sight of some drunkards wandering in and fooling around on the bed.

"Lock it," you say. "I'd rather no one- no one see me like this."

His hand was already on the doorknob, so he just reaches down a bit and locks the door.

He watches you struggle a bit with the bag of cotton rounds, trying but failing to open it, so he reaches forward and delicately plucks it out of your grasp.

Sal slides the makeup remover over and pats the place on the counter it was previously. "Sit."

You peer into his eyes inquisitively but waste no time hoisting yourself up and onto the cold surface.

After that, he plucks the bottle of makeup remover off of the counter and douses the cotton round in the liquid. He reaches forward from the distance that your knees created between the both of you, but you spread your thighs and press the heel of your shoe into his lower back, pulling him in so he's between your legs.

Sal doesn't see it suggestively, because you're drunk—but he's glad you asked him to lock the door because, with his luck, Larry or Ashley would find their way into the bathroom and get all of the wrong ideas.

The firmness just beneath his navel presses into the edge of the counter as he cups one side of your face and began wiping away at the eyeliner and mascara and everything it messed up.

"Thank you," you say sweetly, blinking at him with appreciation in your eyes. "Where'd you learn how to do that?"

He remembers a silhouette. Her back was turned to him, golden hair cascading just past her shoulder blades. He remembers blue eyes that looked a lot like his own staring into a mirror, a hand which adorned a wedding ring wiping away makeup from the day.

"Read it on the label of the bottle," he replies, meeting your eyes and looking away.

As he's finishing up, he hears a rapping of knuckles against the locked door. He tosses the used cotton rounds into a trash bin in the corner and then locks eyes with you curiously.

"Occupied," he calls out, still looking at you. The knocking only gets louder, which makes you laugh.

"He said it's occupied!" You yell over the unintelligible music downstairs, your words breaking into a giggle. You press your knees against his waist, and he doesn't even realize it when his hands meet your thighs.

The knocking ceases, fading into a voice. "Is that you guys in there?"

Fucking Larry. Speak of the goddamn devil—that's what he would've said if he'd come knocking sooner.

The both of you seem to be thinking the same thing, locking eyes in terror. You quickly get off of the counter, and Sal unlocks the door and swings it open.

Sure enough, he's standing there—in all of his glory and highness. Larry blinks, the whites of his glossy eyes tinted red. He looks between the both of you before speaking. "Why were.."

"I had to pee," You choose to deadpan.

Sal feels himself grow even paler than he already is. "I came in.. after.. that."

Larry intakes a mouthful of whatever is in the red solo cup he's holding in his tan, lanky fingers, and swallows thickly. "Okay," he croaks, instinctively cringing as the alcohol passed through his chest. He gestured the cup toward you. "Uh..crazy stunt you pulled up there, huh?"

Sal saw your face shift in his peripheral vision. "Huge lapse of judgment," you reply.

"Nobody could tell who you were, so don't worry about that," the brunette smiles a bit. He returns his attention to Sal. "They've started playing country," sure enough, Sal hears the sound of a banjo from the speakers downstairs, effectively punctuating Larry's statement.

"Yeah.." Larry mumbles, sipping his drink and looking up and through his eyebrows. "Ash said to come find you guys so we can leave."

It doesn't take much, after that.

As you're leaving, Larry pulls the door open and furrows his brow at the condition of the hinges. "Wow. How old is this thing?" He mumbles.

Sal hears you snort.

The three of you descend the stairs, skirting past countless teenagers standing on the steps drinking or smoking. Sal makes the mistake of letting you fall behind and feels you stumble and smack him in the back. It's easy to steady himself, quickly gripping the railing—but he's concerned about you, so he turns around.

A guy with a cigarette balancing in his teeth is eying you with frustration pulling at his features. His gaze pulls from your face and down your body absentmindedly.

"Watch it," he murmurs.

"Sorry," you breathe, jerking your head away and meeting Sal's eyes worriedly. Keep walking, you express in the hues of your eyes.

Sal reaches forward and interlaces your fingers with his as he'd done on the roof. He makes a show of it, too—so the guy with the cigarette sees the rings on both of his hands. Sal gives him a distinct look when they lock eyes, rolls his jaw, and lets you lead him down the stairs, instead of the other way around.

By the time you're all nearly shot from weaving through the multitude of sweaty bodies and navigating through plumes of smoke thicker than fog, the three of you find Ashley petting what he'd assume is the host's dog.

No one questions it.

"You good to drive?" Larry asks, placing his cup on a nearby surface.

"Oh, yeah," she rises from her crouch beside the dog. The animal walks away, his golden tail wagging excitedly at the next person who would give him pets. "A gross sip of something put me off of drinking tonight a while earlier. And, uh.. the whole roof thing dried me out."

You sigh. "I'm sorry about that. It sobered me up, too."

She shakes her head, a wispy strand of light brown hair falling over her face. "It was stupid, yes, and I hope you don't do it again, but all that matters now is that you're safe."

Ashley blinks kind green eyes at you and smiles, reaching forward, taking your hand, and leading you away. Sal hears you laugh and follow after her as both of you head for the front door.

He turns to look at Larry once he loses sight of both of you in the crowd. He examines Sal with bleary dark eyes and looks as though he's about to say something, but he doesn't get to.

Even over the blaring country music, Sal hears a yell and then some fearful shouting. He whips around toward the sounds, which were toward the front of the house.

Red and blue flashing lights shine through the windows.

"Shit!"

"Ah, fuck," Larry groaned, nimbly wrapping his fingers around Sal's wrist and dragging him into the density of the panicked crowd. "Did you see where they went?"

Sal shakes his head. "No," he knows you're intoxicated. Panic settles in. He chews his lip, his eyes desperately scamming for a girl wearing a white top squared at the neck—you. "Y/N's had a lot to drink, Larry. If the police-"

"Don't worry about the Five-O, let's worry about the girls," Larry replies absentmindedly, keeping his firm hold on Sal.

"They must've gone to the Ford," Sal shouts over the music, which, for some reason, is still playing. "We were leaving anyway. I'm sure they're in the car."

Larry releases Sal and motions toward the back of the house. "There's a back door. I'll text Ashley and tell her to drive down the block and we can meet them on foot."

It was an agreeable plan. Waltzing out of the house and walking straight up to the car wouldn't be wise.

Larry does what he'd said he'd do. Turns out, Sal was right, they had made it to the car moments before the police had rolled up. Ashley informed him it was two squad cars and four officers. Seemed like overkill for a house party—but he wouldn't know. He didn't do this often.

When Larry was on the phone, Sal was very tempted to ask about Y/N, but refrained.

On the way to the back door, they crossed through the kitchen. Larry snatched an unopened bottle of alcohol of a brand Sal didn't recognize and carried it along with him for the road.

As soon as they made it out of the house, they both made a break for it, running between houses and into multiple different backyards on their way.

They slowed down once they were at a measurable distance from the party, gasping for air. Sal panted against the prosthetic, placing his hands on his knees and slowing his gasps into slow breaths, attempting to calm his racing heart.

They stood on the side of the road, the music in the distance (albeit a lot quieter) still pounding into the night.

Sal lowered himself down onto the curb. Larry joined him, raising the bottle he'd chose to bring with him to his mouth, and opened the steel cap with his teeth. He spits it onto the road and gestures it toward Sal.

"Bottoms up," he said, bringing it to his lips and taking several gulps.

Sal rolled his eyes playfully, eyebrows rising as Ashley's Ford Fiesta cruised down the road and slowed to a stop in front of them. He stood up from the curb and pulled Larry off of it as well.

They entered the car, sliding into the backseat. Larry continued to down the beer he'd found as Ashley turned around in her seat.

"The night's still young," she says. "Any ideas of what we could do?"

It's really not. Sal's a bit disoriented so he doesn't know what time it is but he wouldn't be surprised if it was 3 AM.

You then turn around in the passenger seat and grin mischievously. "Let's go to the lake."

Oh, great.

[ambria]

everytime // Sirius Black

Sweetener x Marauders

play ‘everytime’ by Ariana Grande <3

pairing: sirius black x reader

word count: 2.3k ✨

warnings: angst, fluff at the end, mentions of drinking, under-age drinking, partying, depression?, mentions of drugs and drug use, someone trying to take advantage on the drunk reader, crying? Let me know if I missed something.

This also might have a few time jumps

A/N: I wrote this in 1st person but I feel like I should make these in 3rd so that’s what I’ll start doing. But this is also my first time making a one-shot fic so cut me some slack if it’s trash. But I hope you enjoy!

I get tired of your no-shows

Taking in the warmth through my fingers I look at the door once more before glancing at the clock.

He’s late. Again

I take a deep breath to cool down my nerves and sigh. I sip the rest of my butterbeer before looking at the entrance once more and packing my stuff and walking out. I look around once more before giving up and walking back to the castle.

You get tired of my control

As I’m walking back I start to get more irritated by the step. This isn’t the first time he’s done this. Always too busy to hang out because of him with his friends or too busy because of pranks. The missed dates and the interrupted times. All for his friends. I’m clearly not a priority in his life and that has to change or I’m not going to be in it.

Walking through the castle I collect my thoughts on how I’m gonna approach this situation. But since I’m so pissed off, I’m gonna take an angry approach.

I walk up to the gryffindor common room and say the password before walking in.

As I stepped into the common room, lo and behold, the marauders spread on the couches talking loudly and laughing. Seeing that made my blood boil. As I walk over I catch the attention of the brunet,

“Y/N!!!!! Hey!!!” The Potter boy called out. I gave a weak smile. Which caught the attention of my boyfriend.

“Hey, babe.” He smiled at me. I internally roll my eyes and keep an emotionless face on. At this point all the attention from the boys is on me.

“Hey. Can we talk?” In the corner of my eye I can see Remus and James glance at each other and look worriedly at Sirius. Yeah. They know better.

“Uhh. Sure. About what?” This time I rolled my eyes. I ignore his question and grab his hand before dragging him up to his dorm.

We enter and I close the door before leaning on it. He goes and sits on the foot on his bed.

“What do you want to talk about? We were in the middle of planning.” Bouncing his knee, I can tell he’s getting impatient and just wants this to hurry up and be done with this. I get even more annoyed at this.

“What do you want to talk about? We were in the middle of planning.”- I mocked him- “This is exactly what I’m talking about! You’re always busy! Doing this and doing that!” I start to raise my voice. My face starts to heat up due to my anger. I try to calm down but it doesn’t seem to be working.

He opens his mouth to say something but I cut him off,

“Where were you today?! I was waiting for you! For our date that YOU literally planned!” His eyes widened with realization and looked at me with a guilty face. But I’m too pissed off to care.

My eyes start to water with tears of frustration but I’m nowhere near done,

“Everytime I want to hang out you’re always busy with your friends and pranks! You never have time for me anymore!” At this point tears are streaming down my face and Sirius doesn’t look that far behind.

“This is the third date you missed! Because you forgot! I’m done with being second best. Im probably not even that!” He has his head down, hands on his knees.

“I—I-I” he stutters out what I think is going to be some wack apology. But I’m done. I can’t do it anymore.

“No. I’m done.” As soon as I said those words his head shot up fast and looked at me with wide eyes.

“No-” he goes to protest but I cut him off again.

“No I can’t do this. Not anymore. This has gone on for too long. You need to fix your priorities. I hope you don’t treat another girl like this. I’m breaking up with you, Sirius.” I don’t wait for a reply and I simply walk out of the door and walk back down to the common room, wiping my tears.

They keep telling me to let go

As I make it to the common room I notice the boys are still there. They see me and go to talk but a loud sound cuts them off. Items getting thrown around, is what I guessed it to be.

We all freeze and guilt washes over me. It’s Sirius.

But I don’t really let go when I say so

I turn my head to the staircase with a sad expression before brushing it off.

I had to. I deserve better. I thought to myself.

I look over to the boys to see that they have worried but knowing expressions on their faces. I gave them weak smiles and walked away to my dorm.

I keep giving people blank stares

Drama travels fast around here at Hogwarts. So it wasn’t long until word got out that infamous Sirius Black was single again and back on the market.

My friends are starting to get worried about me because of my reaction to the breakup, or lack thereof. I know how to keep my emotions buried. I know it’s an unhealthy coping mechanism but I refuse to be sad over a boy who treated me like shit.

I’m so different when your not there

What they don’t know is that I cry myself to sleep. Everyday. I close my curtains around my bed and put a silencing spell around it and sob. For hours. It’s pretty sad.

But I keep my neutral face on for everyone else. From what I know Sirius isn’t doing much better. He’s just more open about his broken heart. Lily tells me he mopes around and doesn’t speak much anymore. Let alone prank anyone.

Everytime she tells me about him being sad it makes me want to run out the room and find him to cuddle with him and kiss him and apologize profusely for the break up.

But I remind myself that it’s not my fault and that I deserve better.

It’s like something out of Shakespeare

Because I’m really not here when you’re not there

I tried to fight our energy

It's been three months since the break up and I have developed some pretty bad habits.

I’ve secretly been drinking to numb the pain. I know it’s not healthy but I can’t seem to stop.

Once all my roommates are sleeping I drink by myself on my bed. It helped in the beginning but now I can’t stop.

I’ve perfected my fake smile so no one could tell the difference. Well one person did, but I was unaware.

I’m in a deep depression and I have no one to talk to. None of my friends know, I can’t tell them. They won’t understand.

Meanwhile,

“Pads, you can’t keep moping around. She’s moved on, you should too.”

“No, I can’t. I still love her.” Sirius said but due to him being face first on his pillow it came out muffled.

“Well then you’re going to have to work your way to get her back. Show her you’ve changed.” The werewolf suggested to his friend.

“Really?” He picks his head up to face his friends, red and puffy eyes with a hopeful expression.

They nod.

But everytime I think I’m free

As the weeks pass I start to receive notes and letters with little flowers attached to them. I know they are from Sirius but I can’t seem to open them and read. It’s too hard and I’m not ready yet.

You get high and call on the regular

Once I reach my empty dorm I run to my trunk and collect all the saved letters. I place them on my bed and chuck my shoes off before climbing on my bed while getting comfortable.

I sort the letter from how I received them. I slowly open the first one,

Dear y/n,

Looking at us now I regret a lot of things.

I don’t blame you for not seeing us together in the future.

I was horrible, but for you I am willing to change. No. I will change.

You deserve so much better and if you let me I could be that person.

But I have to fix myself in order for that to happen.

If you're willing I would love to have another chance.

forever yours,

Sirius

As I finish reading my eyes are cloudy with tears. I continue to read all of the letters.

And by the end of it I’m sobbing.

I get weak and fall like a teenager

I knew it was a bad idea to read those letters. Because after that I am ready to run back into his arms and express my love. But I can’t until I know that he’s changed.

I deserve better. I keep telling myself that.

Why, oh why does God keep bringing me back to you?

Everytime I see him now I try to avoid him. Everytime he’s in a room, I leave. Everytime class is over I run out before he gets the chance to talk to me.

Because I know if I take one look into his beautiful stormy gray eyes I will fall all over again. And that can’t happen.

I deserve better.

I get drunk, pretend that I’m over it

It’s Friday night and today is the big Gryffindor party. Being stressed with liquor and drugs is not a good combo but I haven’t been safe these past couple of months.

I’m in my dorm room getting ready. I decide on a natural glam look with a bold red lip and a black satin body con dress with some black heels.

As I’m walking down the stairs, I can hear the music blasting and the red led lights are turned on. I part from my friends and immediately head to the liquor table. As I’m walking I fail to notice the pair of eyes following my every move.

I take a plastic red cup and I fill it up with the hardest liquor I could find on the table. After downing the cup I refill it and make my way over to my friends who are currently in the corner smoking what the muggles call ‘weed’. It’s strong but it helps me relax. Who knew muggle were so helpful.

Self-destruct, show up like an idiot

About an hour into the party everyone was either high, drunk or both. Which I was. Again me with my unhealthy coping mechanisms.

I ended up dancing in the middle of the room with a huge group of people. I feel eyes on me but I’m too drunk to care at the moment.

As I’m dancing I feel someone come up behind me and grab my hips. I turn around to see a random 7th year boy. He begins to trail his hands on my body.

He leans down to whisper in my ear,

“How about we go to my down, sweetheart?” His hot breath makes a shiver run down my spine, and not in a good way.

I began to shake my head while saying no but he clearly didn’t get the message because he gripped my wrists and tried to pull me with him. But because I was too drunk I couldn’t defend myself properly.

As I continue to struggle I see a person step in front of me, glaring at the boy,

“I suggest you let her go. Now.” I heard a familiar voice, I couldn’t tell who from my drunken state. Once the person turned around a smile involuntarily appeared on my face,

“Siri! Hi!” I giggled as he guided me away from everyone.

“Hi. Let’s get you somewhere safe.” He picks me up bridal style and starts to carry me up to the boys dorms and to his room.

I yawned and cuddled up into his chest,

“I’m still mad at you.” I mumbled. He set me down on his bed and goes to his trunk to take out some clothes,

“I know.” He said, sadly. As he’s helping me I go on a mini rant,

“You know you treated me horrible. I just wanted my boyfriend but you never made time for me. You missed dates, you cancelled on me a lot. And whenever we had time together alone you had to leave early. I just wanted you to give me your love and attention. But I was never a priority. I miss you so much, Siri.” After he tucks me into his bed he kisses my forehead and responds,

“I miss you too, baby.” He goes to walk away but I grab his hand. Which makes him turn around and give me a questioning look,

“Please stay.” I pout. He smiles and climbs into the bed with me. I turn to look at him,

“Cuddles?” I ask him with puppy eyes.

“Cuddles.” I snuggle up next to him with my head on his chest and my legs bunched up with his. He puts his chin on top of my head and begins to play with my hair.

“You know, I still love you. And I’m willing to give you a second chance, Siri.” I can’t see him but I can tell he has a huge grin on his face.

“I love you too, pup. Go to sleep. We’ll talk in the morning.” I start to drift off but before I do fully I feel him kiss my forehead again and whisper ‘I love you’ one last time before the darkness engulfed me.

Why, oh why does God keep bringing me back to you?

****

Taglist: @blackpinkdolan

If you want to be added to my taglist for this series message me or comment under the post.

[duvetsandpillows]

Lucky One

Pete Davidson x Reader 

Word count: 2k

Warnings: Swearing, mention of needles, slight angst, drug use

A/N: This is my first Pete fic but I think I will definitely be writing more. Please let me know what you think!

I sat in bed, joint in one hand, lighter in the other. I’d been staring at the wall for the past half hour or so, drowning in my thoughts, forgetting the joint I’d been fiddling with was there to be smoked.

I was thinking about everything and nothing all at once. Have I taken my antidepressant? What do they do with the bagel holes? You’re gonna be alone forever. Don’t forget your earring is behind the back left leg of the desk. New thoughts beginning before the last one could end. I was exhausted yet I hadn’t done anything to warrant feeling so drained. I’d only left my bed to piss.

“Hey you home?” I glanced over at my door, reality setting back in, before realizing how messy my bed was; sketchbook and pencils scattered everywhere, weed crumbs and ash from not paying attention to what I was doing and empty monster cans. I kicked as much as I could off the end of the bed before putting the long forgotten joint to my lips and sparking it. The door slowly opened, Pete standing in the doorway holding a bag and a coffee.

“Whatcha doing in bed B?” he asked climbing into the bed handing me the coffee. I took a toke and thanked him while passing him the joint.

“I just don’t feel like moving. I feel like shit, my brain won’t stop for just a second. I just want everything to stop.” My voice breaking as I began to fight back tears. He blew smoke into the air, putting his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side, handing me the joint.

“Breathe B, you’re gonna be okay. I know that sounds like bullshit but I’m here to help you through it.” I took a take and wiped a stray tear from my eye. “It’s always been me and you hasn’t it, that’s not gonna stop now. Did you take your antidepressant today?”

“I can’t remember,” I squeaked, letting the tears win the battle. Pete put his other arm around my chest and squeezed tight, resting his hand on the back of my head and rubbing his thumb.

He would whisper little pick me-ups every few minutes while I cried. “At least you didn’t walk straight into a street light like I did.” I looked up to see him pointing to a small bruise on his forehead. “I saw a woman carrying a dog in a baby sling thing and then boom! Street Light.” I giggled before taking a deep breath and wiping my tears with my sleeves.

“I guess you could say she threw you off your rhythm.” He rolled his eyes and pushed my head playfully before chuckling.

We’d been friends practically our whole lives, yet it was rare for us to talk about deep shit. Not because we didn’t care but we were good at talking each others minds off all the bullshit. 

“Movie, smoke, munch? I brought gushers and twizzlers.”

“Only if I get to pick.”

“Obviously, you always pick.” I scoffed and sat up, rolling my eyes.

“Bullshit, we constantly watching The Mule.”

“Not my fault you can’t appreciate a masterpiece,” he said as he grabbed my rolling tray from the end of the bed and I began flicking through Netflix for something to watch.

“Your hair looks nice by the way,” he mumbled, eyes focused on rolling the joint. I glanced over at my reflection in the mirror, I looked as if I’d just climbed out of the hedge. I smiled and thanked him, deciding to put on Knocked Up.

Pete told me what he’d been up to all week and who the guests were gonna be while we watched the film. I made him a twizzler ring and he attempted to make me a bracelet but he couldn’t work out how to get the knot to stay tight.” After a couple more joints I sat up on my knees and faced him.

“Could... I maybe colour in your tattoos?” I asked, placing my hand on his leg to stay balanced, realizing how high I was after not moving for so long.

“Yeah of course, which one first?” I smiled and pointed to the unicorn on his arm and leant off the end of the bed to grab my pens, Pete grabbing hold of my foot as I almost fell off. After I’d finished the unicorn I moved onto the direwolf underneath. Pete was flicking through the pages of my sketchbook as I added icy blue to the eyes.

“Y’know,” he started, passing me a joint, “I reckon you could be a tattoo artist. You could even practice on me.” I stopped and looked at him a bit taken back.

“I’ve never thought about it before.”

“Maybe you should.”

Once I finished the direwolf I looked up to see Pete had dozed off, I smiled and pulled a blanket over him, moving the sketchbook off his lap. I rolled a joint and glanced at the open drawing of a group of clouds I’d been working on but hadn’t yet worked out what should accompany them.

I thought about what Pete said and picked up the sketchbook and a pencil. I smoked while drawing Frank the bunny’s head from Donnie Darko. It was my favourite film and Pete had watched it with me countless times.

After an hour or so I finished the outline and most of the infill with different shades of blue. I felt Pete roll over and put his arm across my lap. I looked down to see him, eyes half open, observing my drawing.

“That’s amazing.” His voice gruff and low.

“Thank you,” I said passing him a monster from my bedside table. He sat up partially and took a sip before handing it back to me. “Good nap?” He nodded and laid back down into my side.

“You should put that on me,” He kicked his leg out from under the blanket and pointed to the side of his thigh. “Here would be perfect.”

“If you’d like.” He sat up again and gently tore the sketch out of the book.

“Come on then.” I frowned and tilted my head slightly. “There’s a guy that could do this now, you could get one too?”

I stared at him in a bit of shock, not expecting him to actually want one of my pieces on his body. I thought he was saying it just to be nice. Also as I’d never considered getting a tattoo before. Not because I didn’t like them but more because I was nervous; I wasn’t great with needles and if tattoo’s would suit me.

“You up for it?”

“What if I look awful with one?” I blurted, Pete’s smile morphed into confusion.

“Why would you look awful?” You always look great.” I could feel my cheeks getting warm and I couldn’t help but ever so slightly smile. “Plus I think you’d look hot with one,” he mumbled handing me the sketchbook, open to a small drawing of a sheep I’d done high while watching Shaun the Sheep.

“It’s small, if you want it to be hidden then it’s easy.” I looked down at the doodle and thought about it for a moment.

“Fuck it lets go.”

I sat on a chair next to Pete watching as the tattoo artist, Jon, carefully traced over the light purple outline in dark blue ink. I began adding to my sheep. A few clouds in the background, similar to the ones on Pete’s.

“What you doing?” I handed him the paper, glancing over at his leg, in awe at how it was turning out. I looked back at Pete who was smiling at the drawing. I held out the pencil to him, when he didn’t notice I poked his arm with it.

“Ow, dick,” he said pouting and rubbing his arm. “What am I meant to do with this?”

“Add something to it, you got a piece of me,” I pointed to his leg. “Your turn.”

“I can’t draw like you and-”

“And I don’t care. Draw.”

While Pete drew, not phased at all by the needle going in and out of his leg, I chatted with Jon, asking him question about how he became a tattoo artist and what it’s like. I was slowly becoming more interested the more I watched him work. Once he was done he turned to me.

“You ready?” he asked, I nodded nervously and Pete passed him the design. Pete swapped places with me after taking a look at it in the floor length mirror. I decided to get it on my arm as I decided I wanted to always be able to see it now Pete had added to it. I told them I didn’t want to see it until it was finished, wanting Pete’s addition to be a surprise. I looked over at Pete, nerves starting to kick in a little.

“Have I ever told you I’m not brilliant with needles?” He chuckled and took my hand in his.

“Yep,” I winced as the needle hit my skin. “Like the time you gave blood because you thought that nurse was cute and threw up all over him before fainting.” I chuckled before biting the inside of my cheek and gripped his hand tight. “You’re good, just keep your eyes this way,”

Pete kept chatting with me and rubbing his thumb on the back of my hand, keeping me distracted from the pain.

“Should I be nervous with what you drew? It’s just clicked how much trust I’ve given you.” He pursed his lips, holding back either as smile or a laugh. “Pete...”

“Nah nah nah, it’s not that bad, but you said to add a bit of me. Trust me you’ll love it.” I raised my eyebrows before gripping his hand again, feeling a muscle in my arm unintentionally spasm.

“You’re good, it happens sometimes, we’re almost done here.”

After ten more minutes it was all done and he was wiping it up. It was aching it a little but I was really excited to see it.

“You ready to see it?” I nodded and looked at my arm to see the best tattoo I could imagine. The clouds were a beautiful combination of greys and whites, my sheep now with a spliff in its mouth and a second, slightly wonky looking, sheep with a spliff also in its mouth and sunglasses on. It kind of looked like a child drew the second sheep but I loved it even more for that.

“I put our initials at the bottom so we don’t forget who is who.” I giggled looking at his scruffy handwriting underneath. “So... what do you think?”

“I fucking love it!” I said wrapping my arms around him hugging him as tight as I could. “Thank you Pete.” I pressed a kiss to his cheek and let Jon wrap my arm up in cling film.

We grabbed some Taco Bell on the way home, I was designated DJ and he driver. I was, questionably, rapping along to Colson and Corpse’s new song while Pete laughed at me. He slipped his hand into mine, giving it a small squeeze and continued driving and started rapping along as if that was a normal for us to hold hands. I smiled and gave his a squeeze back even though I was a bit shocked. Shocked but yet it felt normal.

“You can roll the next one, my arm aches,” I said flopping onto my bed.

“Is that gonna be your excuse for the next week?” 

“Did it work?” I looked up to see him shaking his head and chuckling as he picked up the rolling tray.

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” I smiled and winked as it sat up. 

“You’re lucky too, you get to look at this cute face all the time.” Pete leant forward and took my hand, pulling me into his lap.

“What would you say, if I asked you out... to dinner or something?” I wrapped my arms around his neck and furrowed my eyebrows.

“What like a date?” His smile and confidence drained from his face immediately and I had to force myself to hold back a laugh.

“It doesn’t have to be no, I just- aw fuck.” I started pissing myself laughing, holding onto him tight to keep my balance.

“Yes I’d love to go on a date, if you hurry up and roll that joint, I teased winking at him, swinging myself off his lap. “I’ll even put on The Mule yeah?”

“I’m definitely the lucky one.”

[shinazugawaswife]

Love your work❤️❤️ I’m not sure if you write for Rafe but I you do, how about number 79 with him?✌🏼

To the beach - Rafe Cameron

I know you requested this such a long time ago and I'm sorry that I never got to it, but I haven't been on this app for so long and I just recently rewatched the show and wanted to write this<3

Prompt 79: "We'd make such a badass couple"

Prompts

Summary: you convince Rafe to go to the beach with you while you’re both as high as you can be

Warnings: drugs, swearing, violence (just a little fight were sexy Rafe kicks ass), a little sexual but nothing dangerous;)

Not my gif, creds to the owner

You had always been close with Sarah, ever since you'd met on the playground when you were both five. That meant you'd been to dinner at her house a hundred times and slept over at least a thousand times. Sarah was your best friend and the two of you were rarely seen without the other. 

It wasn't until about a year ago that you'd started noticing Rafe Cameron, Sarah's older brother. He'd always been around and he loved to make fun but you'd never seen him as anything more than Sarah's annoying brother. Last summer though, you'd suddenly realized how good-looking he actually was. It had been like a wake-up call for you. One day he was the same he'd always been, and the next he'd walked out to the pool where you and Sarah had been tanning, sending a wink your way, as he often did because he was a tease, and then jumped into the water, looking extremely good. You remembered the way he'd pushed his wet hair aside once he'd reached the surface again, and the way his muscles had tensed when he'd pulled himself out of the pool.

Since then you'd been aware every time Rafe had entered a room and somehow the smirk and winks that couldn't get to you before, now made your knees weak. You hadn't told anyone about this newfound discovery of yours though and it was a secret you intended to keep. It wasn't like you wanted to go anywhere with Rafe, he was your best friend's brother, but you couldn't help sneaking a peak of him from afar from time to time. 

Currently, you were in Sarah's room, getting ready for a party. It was a party Topper, Sarah's annoying and overly protective boyfriend, had gotten you and Sarah invited to. You knew a lot of the people who were coming you just didn't know the guy throwing the party. His name was Toby if you remembered correctly, and apparently his parents were out of town for the weekend.

When you arrived at the party, Sarah quickly disappeared somewhere with Topper. He was probably showing her all the things he didn't want her to drink or touch or do. You rolled your eyes at the thought. Sarah knew you weren't Topper's biggest fan, but you never voiced your opinion of him.

You wandered around by yourself for a while until you found a group of people that you knew. You sat with them for a while, laughing and drinking more than you should, until you were pretty wasted. You must've sat there for about an hour when Rafe came and sat down beside you. You weren't surprised to see him, Rafe had always been where the party was. 

The sofa you were sitting on was small, so Rafe and you were close once he'd squeezed down in between you and a girl named Carla. Carla was beautiful in such an annoying way. She was the kind of beautiful that made her get all the attention and she never even tried hiding how much she enjoyed it. She knew she was gorgeous and she would always use it to make a big drama. And even though she scooted closer to Rafe the minute he sat down, carefully tracing a finger down his arm while she spoke with a flirtatious tone "hi Rafe", his attention was solely on you. 

"Wanna try this?" Rafe asked you as he pulled out a bag of pills from his pocket. You'd taken drugs before, but never with Rafe, and though you knew it was a bad idea and Sarah would kill you, how could you say no?

You starred into Rafe's eyes as you sank a pill. He smirked as he took one as well, before smoothly draping his arm around your shoulders, leaning back on the couch. "Get out of here" Rafe demanded Carla, who'd been looking at you and Rafe with surprised eyes during your whole interaction. She huffed and made a dramatic swing of her hair before walking off towards the kitchen.

You smiled, no one dared stand up to Rafe Cameron. You had no idea why he was there with you, you figured he had lots of other people to do drugs with, but you didn't mind. You casually leaned into him, trying not to make it look like it was intentional, and waited for the room to start spinning.

It surprised you how fast the pill worked. Soon your body relaxed the way it only did when you smoked weed, but it was different from that still. It was like your limbs weighed a hundred pounds, but you still had all the energy in the world. You had a hard time describing the feeling, all you knew was that you liked it.

"I'm gonna go for a swim" you announced after you'd gotten used to the way your brain worked while under the effect of the drug. You rose from the sofa and almost fell to the floor, but Rafe caught you. "Thanks" your words came out blurry as you took Rafe's hand and led him towards the exit. Once you passed the kitchen and kept heading for the front door, Rafe pulled your arm back. "Pool's this way" he pointed to his right. You laughed at him as if he'd said the dumbest thing in the world.

"I don't wanna go in the pool, I wanna go in the ocean" you deadpanned as if it was obvious. "And how will you get to the beach?" Rafe laughed while slowly pulling you closer to him. "You have a bike don't you?" You raised your brows whiled tucking your bottom lip between your teeth. You looked at his lips, lingering them there for a moment before you looked back into his eyes. God, he was so hot.

When he didn't protest, you turned around and started walking again. You immediately spotted Rafe's bike once you were outside, and you ran towards it, excitingly placing yourself on it once you reached it. 

"I'm a bit too drunk to drive," Rafe smiled as he reached the bike as well. "It's never stopped you before, come on" you insisted.

It didn't take long for you to convince Rafe to take the two of you to the beach. After all, he wasn't the most responsible person on the island, so after a promise that oh yeah, you'd most definitely be skinny dipping, Rafe was all for it. 

Your hands were snaked around Rafe's waist as the wind was blowing through your hair. You closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling of being close to Rafe while driving through the night. The moment was ruined though when you felt your phone buzzing in the back pocket of your pants. You released your grip from around Rafe and pulled out your phone, it was Sarah calling. Instead of answering though, you went to the camera on your phone and took a couple of pictures. Your brain was pretty clouded though, so you chose to listen to the only current reasonable part of your mind, and put your phone back in your pocket before you dropped it.

It didn't take long for you to get to the beach, probably having something to do with Rafe driving way over the speed limit, but life was too good for you to care at the moment. Rafe stopped the engine of his dirtbike and you laughed, kissing his neck once from behind, before jumping off the bike and running towards the water.

Rafe had to take a minute, he was more used to the drugs, so it took a bit longer for him to get affected by them. He was just thanking God or the universe, or whoever the fuck was in charge, that he'd managed to drive here with a somewhat clear mind. The drugs slowly crept in on him now though and when he spotted you laying in the sand, laughing, some ten meters in front of him. There were absolutely no cons for him to go join you.

When you were laying in the sand with your eyes closed, you swore it felt like flying and you couldn't stop laughing. You questioned if you'd ever experienced anything as extraordinary. While Rafe was locking his bike, two guys approached you, drunk and curious as to what you were doing. You didn't notice them until they stood right above you, looking down at you. You opened your eyes and raised yourself in a hurry but your forehead collapsed with one of the guys' noses and you fell down again. You couldn't help but laugh, not even feeling the pain.

"What the fuck! I think she broke my nose" the guy called out. "Dude, chill, I barely bruised it" your laughter had died down to giggles as you rose from the ground. "Shut up! It fucking hurts" the guy raised his voice slightly, but you kept laughing. "I'm sorry, really, it wasn't even on purpose" you blinked repeatedly, trying to see straight. 

"Hey! Who the fuck are you?" Rafe roared as he approached you, having finally noticed the guys. "Your girl almost broke my nose dude, fucking bitch" the guy yelled out. It was like Rafe had a switch that went from decent to aggressively angry in a matter of seconds, and he lunched at the guy. His fist landed right in the center of the guy's face, so hard you were able to hear the bones crushing. His nose was definitely broken now. The guy stumbled backward and his friend, who'd been quiet until now, immediately jumped forward, but Rafe grabbed his fist in the air and hit him in the stomach. The guy hunched forward in a cry of pain.

Both guys soon regained strength and though their punches were sloppy due to the obvious intake of alcohol, they managed to get a few good hits at Rafe seeing he wasn't really in his best state either. Everything happened so quickly you barely got to react before Rafe was in a boxing match with two strangers. They hadn't even done anything, why did Rafe freak out?

You didn't wonder for long before you ran to Rafe's side and kicked one of the strangers in the balls, making him instantly fall to the ground. Rafe hit the other right across the jaw and the strength of the punch made him fall to the soft sand as well. Both guys laid whimpering on the ground and Rafe pointed a demanding finger at them, "do not call her a bitch, you fucking losers" he roared before he grabbed your hand and walked in the opposite direction.

Once you were a couple of meters away his demeanor completely changed again, as he looked back at the guys and started laughing. "We'd make such a badass couple" he announced as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders for the second time that night, and pulled you close.

You couldn't help but smile, did he really just say that? 

Your brain didn't get a lot of time to overthink what Rafe had just said though before you looked at the ocean and remembered why you were even here in the first place. You smiled like a little girl who'd just gotten a candyfloss and ran towards the ocean. You threw off your shirt while running and stepped out of your pants as you reached the water, wasting n getting in.

You were only in your underwear, but it wasn't nearly as cold as you'd feared. You dived under, getting your hair and face wet, and when you resurfaced two things happened. One, your brain immediately cleared up from the fresh sensation of water in your face, and two, Rafe was standing right in front of you.

You giggled, "wasn't it worth it? Driving all the way? A pool can't compare to this."

Rafe didn't answer, he just looked at you. He was determined to kiss you. He barely registered what you were saying, because all he could think about was kissing you. So he did just that.

Taking you by surprise, he walked forward, grabbed your face, and smashed his lips onto yours. It didn't take you many seconds to realize what was happening and you snaked your arms around his neck, eagerly pulling him closer.

What was even happening? Why would he even want to kiss you, you were younger than him and Sarah was your best friend.

In the back of your mind, you knew this was only for one night and that Rafe was the fuckboy of them all and you were probably just a fun challenge for him, his sister's best friend. But you didn't mind, you were just gonna make tonight last as long as possible and you knew you'd have no regrets in the morning.

The water stopped at your waist, which meant it reached Rafe just to the top of his hips. His hands moved from your face, down your waist, and down to your butt, giving it a squeeze. You gasped and he smoothly sneaked his tongue into your mouth. He grabbed your thighs and lifted you. Your legs wrapped around his waist and the kiss turned rough and heated. His hands stayed on your thighs, holding you up, while his thumbs traced small circles on your skin.

Truth was, Rafe had wanted to kiss you for a while. He had always thought you looked good, but recently his eyes had opened to how good-looking you actually were. God, you were the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. 

There was no sound other than the gentle waves and the sound of your mouths moving against each other. Rafe pulled your legs tighter around him and your hands moved to his hair, pulling slightly. You both let out a moan, swallowing each other's sound. You couldn't get enough, it was like you needed more, faster. 

There was no way you were having sex with Sarah's brother though. She was never gonna find out about this, but if she did, she would might be able to get over a kiss, but she'd never forgive you or Rafe if you slept together.

Eventually, after what felt like hours, Rafe let go of you and you separated yourself from him. You couldn't help but smile.

You looked up at Rafe who was smiling down at you, moving his hand to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. You tilted your head, certain that this came close to the best night of your life. You broke the silence after a couple of minutes.

"Hi Rafe" you mimicked Carla's high-pitched voice from earlier and you both started laughing. Rafe shook his head, a smile still playing on his lips as he leaned down and kissed you once before grabbing your hand and you walked back towards the shore.

[lucys-key]

Unexpected Encounters (Eren Yeager x Reader)

Part 4: Nice To See You

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

Warnings: Smut, some alcohol and recreational drug use (just weed), and language 

A/N: Surprise haha! I got this up earlier than expected. I hope you enjoy, as always! (also, this will make sense when you read, but just imagine what color Eren’s LED lights are cause I couldn’t decide lmao.)

...

You stared at your phone.

Contact Name: Eren Yeager.

He had given you his number two days ago, right before he left for his shift at the café after you two met at the gym.

“Text me!” Eren had said.

It was Friday now, and you still hadn’t texted him.

You desperately wanted to see him again, but you had been rather busy for the past couple of days. Classes and work had you distracted, and had also left you with insufficient time to hang out with Eren over the week.

Since it was Friday, however, you found yourself with some extra free time and the whole weekend ahead of you.

Earlier you had dinner with Historia and Ymir, and now you were back in your dorm, staring at your phone. You couldn’t help but wonder what Eren was doing. With a free Friday night ahead of you, it was the perfect time to ask Eren to hang out—all you had to do was press a few buttons on your phone.

Historia wasn’t in your dorm, so you were in the room alone. You looked at your phone for a few more seconds, took a deep breath, and pressed the “call” button.

After a few rings, you heard Eren pick up the phone.

“Hello?” he said.

You took another deep breath and then spoke.

“Hi, Eren,” you said.

You heard music in the background, but Eren turned it down when he heard your voice on the other end of the line.

“Oh, hey!” Eren replied, saying your name in mild surprise.

You smiled when you heard him speak.

“How are you?” you asked

You heard Eren laugh softly and then say, “Pretty good. I wasn’t expecting you to call.”

“Sorry it took me so long. I’ve just been really busy,” you said apologetically.

“You don’t have to apologize,” he said. “I get it.”

His understanding tone made you smile, and you were very glad that you had decided to call him.

“Well, I’m not busy now,” you told him. “Are you doing anything tonight?”

Eren didn’t say anything for a moment as he considered your question.

“Jean and I were gonna hang out with some people at the house,” Eren said. “Do you want to come?”

You considered the offer. The last time you went to that house had ended with you and Eren locked in a passionate embrace in the basement, and the idea of going back sounded fun.

“You can bring some of your friends if you want,” Eren added after a moment, sounding hopeful.

You nodded your head even though he couldn’t see you.

“Yeah. That sounds good,” you said.

“Good,” Eren replied, and you could hear the smile in his voice.

He told you what time to get there and to text him when you did, and then you both said goodbye.

After you hung up, you heard the door to your room open. You saw Historia walk in with Ymir behind her.

When you looked up, Historia smiled and walked over to you.

“Guess what,” she said.

You looked at her in confusion, not sure why she was so happy.

“Ymir and I ran into Jean a few minutes ago,” Historia said, “and he told me that some people are going over to the house to hang out tonight. He invited us and wanted to make sure we told you.”

You laughed and nodded.

“Yeah, I already know about it, but I appreciate you thinking of me,” you told her.

Historia smiled again and walked over to her side of the room with Ymir. Eren had said you could bring friends tonight, so you took out your phone and made a chat with Hitch and Annie to see if either of them wanted to come.

Hitch responded with an enthusiastic, “Yes!”, but Annie said she had other plans for the night.

“So, are you going to go?” Historia asked you after you replied to Hitch and Annie’s messages.

You looked at her and nodded.

Historia smiled knowingly and said, “Thought so.”

You knew what she was implying by that comment—that she knew exactly who you would see there—but you couldn’t even bring yourself to deny the fact that Eren was the main reason why you wanted to go.

You had just under an hour before it was time to go, and you walked over to your dresser to pick out an outfit. You spent longer than usual looking at your clothes, putting together different outfits. Eventually, you decided to wear your favorite shirt and pants, setting them aside for later.

After about a half-hour of watching Netflix, you got out of your bed to go to the bathroom to change and get ready for the night. Historia and Ymir were getting ready in your dorm, and when you got back from the bathroom, they both looked at you and smiled.

“What?” you asked.

“You look amazing!” Historia exclaimed.

You looked down at your outfit, suddenly feeling a hint of embarrassment.

“Is it too obvious?” you asked.

Ymir smirked and said, “Who cares? You look great.”

You smiled at them, feeling reassured. “Thanks, guys.” After you put on your shoes, you sprayed some perfume over yourself for good measure and then texted Hitch to ask if she was ready.

Once she confirmed that she was, you, Historia, and Ymir left your dorm to meet her in the hallway. You saw Hitch waiting by her door, and when she heard you come out of your room, she looked up and waved.

“Ready to go?” you asked.

Hitch nodded and joined you, Historia, and Ymir as you walked out of the dorm building.

The four of you walked across campus until a familiar house came into view. You could already feel yourself becoming nervous as you walked up to it.

Since it was early, the house wasn’t open to everyone yet, so there wasn’t anyone standing at the door to let people in. You needed a special key to get into the house, similar to the one you had to use to get into your dorm building, so someone would have to come down to let you in.

“Jean said to text him when we got here,” Historia said, taking out her phone.

You decided to text Eren a message of your own, letting him know that you had arrived with a simple: Here :).

A second later, you felt your phone buzz with a reply from Eren, but then you got distracted as the door to the house opened.

“Hey there!” Jean said, smiling in a way that let you know that he was most definitely not sober.

“Thanks for inviting us!” Historia said brightly.

“Of course!” Jean exclaimed, opening the door wider and gesturing for you all to come in.

Instead of going to the basement like you had last time, you followed Jean as he led you and your friends towards the main set of stairs which led to the upper floors of the house. You saw guys in the frat moving about, getting prepared for the masses of people that were soon to enter their house.

When you got to the second floor, you walked through the hallway until you got to the room at the end. You could hear music coming from inside and people talking.

“Somehow, Connie managed to get the best room in the house,” Jean said, rolling his eyes as he opened the door.

You let Historia and Ymir go in first, while you and Hitch followed behind them.

Once you stepped inside, you looked around and saw that Connie’s room was more of a suite than a room. It was big for just one person, with more space than the other rooms on the floor since it was at the end of the hallway.

There was R&B music playing over a small speaker, and the room was bathed in a soft light.

You looked to your left and saw a boy with short hair playing a video game that was connected to a TV. You assumed that he must be Connie since you had never actually met him. To your surprise, the girl from the café, Mikasa, was leaning on the wall close to the TV watching Connie’s progress in the game.

“Let’s get something to drink!” Hitch said, making you look away from the TV.

You nodded and followed her to the other side of the room where there was a small folding table that had cups and different bottles of alcohol sitting on top of it. Ymir and Historia were already standing by the table talking to Reiner and his friend.

As you walked towards them, you noticed that one of the windows in the room was open and that someone was sitting on the ledge. You quickly realized that it was Eren.

His back was against the side of the window frame, and one of his legs was bent and resting in front of him on the ledge. He was holding something between two of his fingers. You watched as he brought it to his mouth and inhaled, blowing the resulting cloud of smoke out of the window.

You felt your heart start to beat faster as you looked at him. He was just wearing a simple black shirt and grey sweatpants, but you thought he had never looked better. You heard Hitch call your name, prompting you to choose a drink. Eren must have heard her because he turned his head to look in your direction.

Eren smiled when he saw you, and then he stood up. He extinguished the joint he’d been smoking and placed it on an ashtray before walking over to you.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Eren said when he was standing next to you.

You laughed and picked up a can of hard seltzer from the table.

“You too. Funny we keep running into each other like this,” you replied, mimicking Eren’s words from the party where you two shared your first kiss.

Eren laughed, knowing that this was the first time you had actually expected to see each other, and then he casually placed a hand on your shoulder. He moved his mouth closer to your ear.

“I’m glad you came,” Eren said softly, so only you could hear him.

You closed your eyes for a split second, all of the memories from what happened in the locker room with him rushing back as you felt him so close to you.

“Me too,” you replied.

Eren smiled and then squeezed your shoulder lightly. He looked across the table to where Reiner and his friend were refilling their drinks.

“Have you met Reiner and Bertholdt?” Eren asked.

You finally had a name for Reiner’s friend, and Reiner inclined his head in your direction when he heard Eren speak, while Bertholdt gave you a warm smile.

You smiled at them in return, and then introduced yourself officially.

“Nice to meet you,” Bertholdt said after you told him and Reiner your name. “We’ve heard a lot about you.”

You were surprised to hear that, so you looked at Eren and saw that his cheeks had turned the faintest shade of pink. Your heart warmed at the thought of Eren talking about you to his friends.

“Is that so?” you asked, now grinning at Eren.

He wouldn’t make eye contact with you, and your smile turned soft when you realized that he was actually embarrassed. It was a cute look on him.

You lightly brushed your fingers along Eren’s arm to reassure him that there was nothing to be embarrassed about and that you were happy to hear he thought you were important enough to talk about with his friends.

Eren finally looked at you when he felt you touch his arm, and when he saw the soft smile on your face, he relaxed slightly.

“Yo, Connie, are we going to play or what?” Jean shouted as he walked up to the table where you and Eren were standing.

Hitch had walked across the room to chat with Mikasa, but she ran up to the table when she heard Jean.

“Ooh, what are we playing?” she asked.

“Beer pong,” Jean replied as he began to move everything off of the table.

You heard the noise from the TV stop, and Connie walked over to the table to help Jean set up for the game. They placed red plastic cups in a triangle formation on either end of the table and then filled them.

“Do you want to play?” Eren asked.

You thought about it for a moment before saying, “I think I’ll just watch for now.”

Eren nodded, and then looked behind him at the couch that was situated against one of the walls.

“Want to sit?” he asked.

“Sure,” you said, and followed Eren towards the couch. As you walked, you opened your can of hard seltzer and took a drink.

Eren let you sit down first, and then he sat next to you. He angled his body on the couch so he was facing you.

You took one more drink and put the can on the floor in front of you. You looked at the table and saw that Hitch and Ymir had formed a team for the game and were playing against Reiner and Bertholdt. Mikasa and Historia were chatting and watching the game, while Jean and Connie explained the rules.

“You don’t want to play?” you asked Eren.

He shook his head and looked at the table where the game had started.

“Nah,” he replied. “It’s not my favorite game.”

You nodded, and then Eren turned his head to look at you.

“Besides,” he said, “I think I’d much rather sit here and talk to you.”

You smiled at Eren shyly in response, feeling your body become warm. You subtly moved closer to him on the couch. Eren noticed, and he also moved closer to you.

“I honestly still can’t believe that we go to the same school,” you told him.

Eren laughed and said, “Me either. It’s kinda funny how that happened.”

You heard Hitch make a noise of celebration, and you looked to see that Ymir had scored against Reiner and Bertholdt by throwing a ping pong ball into one of the cups on their side of the table. As per the rules of the game, Reiner drank the liquid from the cup Ymir had scored in.

“Who do you think is going to win?” Eren asked, laughing at Reiner’s expression as he downed the beer in the cup.

“Definitely Ymir and Hitch,” you replied.

Eren nodded in agreement, and then leaned back on the couch and casually draped his arm behind your shoulders. You raised an eyebrow at him, but Eren just smiled innocently. In response, you moved further back on the couch and settled into his arm.

You could feel the warmth from Eren’s body, and you didn’t think you’d ever felt more comfortable in your entire life.

“How are your classes? You said you’ve been busy,” Eren asked.

You nodded and turned your head to look at him.

“Yeah. I have a paper that I’ve been working on for my literature class,” you replied.

“That doesn’t sound fun,” Eren said.

You laughed and bent down to pick up your drink. You took another sip before replying.

“No. Not at all,” you said, and then added, “How about you?”

Eren shrugged his shoulders and said, “My classes are alright. Practice, on the other hand, has been kicking my ass.”

“When did you start playing soccer?” you asked, happy that you were getting the chance to learn more about him.

Eren tilted his head and thought for a moment.

“I think I started during my last year of junior high?” he said.

“So you played in high school, then?” you asked.

Eren nodded and then grinned.

“So many questions,” he said, and gently poked you in the side.

You swatted his hand away and Eren laughed.

“I didn’t see you for, like, six years,” you said indignantly. “You’ve changed, so sorry if I want to know some things.”

Eren raised his eyebrows.

“Oh? How have I changed?” he asked.

His question caught you off guard. There were a lot of things about Eren that had changed during the time you were apart, but you weren’t sure what to tell him.

“Uh, well, you play soccer now, which is new,” you said after a moment. “And you, uh, look different.”

You really hoped that Eren was going to drop the subject, but he grinned and leaned the slightest bit closer to you.

“Really?” he replied. “How so?”

You looked away from Eren and felt your body become hot.

“Well, you already know how I feel about the long hair,” you said after a moment. “And, uh, you just look different overall. It’s a good different—attractive different, I guess some might say.”

You didn’t even have time to process what you had just said before you felt Eren’s hand brush against yours. You hesitantly looked at him, feeling a tension start to build in the air between you and him.

Eren looked into your eyes for a second before asking, “Would that ‘some’ include you?”

You knew there was no point in denying it, so you nodded your head slowly.

“You know it does,” you said softly.

Eren smiled, and then used the arm he had around your shoulders to bring you closer to him.

“That’s good to know,” Eren said, and you could hear his voice right next to your ear. “And for the record,” he continued, “’some’ might say you’re attractive as well.”

You felt your heart start to race at his words, and you gave him a shy smile.

“That’s good to know,” you said.

Eren returned your smile, and you both became lost in each other’s gaze for a moment until Connie’s voice caused you to look away from each other.

“How the fuck did you miss that?!” Connie yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Jean.

It appeared that Hitch and Ymir had won their game against Reiner and Bertholdt, and were now playing against Connie and Jean.

“So it’s my fault that I missed?” Jean yelled back.

“Duh! Who else’s fault would it be?!”

“I’m your teammate, why are you yelling at me?!”

“Cause I want to win, and you suck at this!”

“What’d you say?!”

Before you knew what was happening, Jean and Connie were wrestling each other on the floor, knocking cups off of the table in the process. You couldn’t help but laugh at the amusing sight.

“Does this happen a lot?” you asked Eren.

He laughed and nodded in response.

“Yeah. Usually it’s Jean and I, though,” he admitted.

You were about to say something in response, but then you saw that Connie and Jean had stood up and were moving closer to you and Eren. They weren’t paying attention to their surroundings, and Jean shoved Connie backward right into the couch.

The couch was small, so Connie would have landed right on top of you had Eren not grabbed your hips and pulled you onto his lap.

“Shit, sorry,” Connie said with an apologetic smile on his face.

“It’s okay,” you replied, huffing out a laugh.

Connie looked at you, and then at Eren. He seemed to be piecing together who you were.

“I’m Connie, by the way. I swear we’re not always like this,” he said.

You smiled at Connie and told him your name.

He looked between you and Eren again and said, “Thought so.”

You couldn’t see him, but behind you, Eren rolled his eyes at being exposed yet again for talking about you to his friends.

“Are you guys done being stupid? Can we play?” Ymir called from the table.

Connie mumbled something under his breath and stood up. He lightly punched Jean’s shoulder as they walked back to finish the game.

It was only when Connie and Jean were gone that you realized that you were still sitting on Eren’s lap. He had his hands on your waist, and you sat for a second, debating whether or not you should move.

“Sorry about that. They’re idiots,” Eren said, and took his hands off of you to give you the opportunity to move if you wanted.

You didn’t move, however, and twisted your body so you could see Eren’s face.

“It’s fine, really. They seem like fun,” you replied.

Eren smiled, relieved that you didn’t hate his friends already. You smiled back, and then realized that you had been holding your drink this whole time. You leaned forward to put it back on the floor.

As soon as you put it down, you registered the position you had put yourself in. Eren was still sitting upright on the couch, and you were bent down in front of him, still sitting on his thighs. Your shirt had ridden up slightly when you bent over, and Eren’s eyes were fixed on the strip of bare skin on your back that was showing.

You sat back up slowly. When you were sitting upright again, you moved your ass back further onto Eren’s thighs. His hands moved back to your waist.

“There’s a whole couch, you know,” Eren said, his lips right next to your ear.

You grinned and adjusted yourself on Eren’s lap. You heard him make a soft noise when you did so.

“I’m aware,” you replied.

Everyone else in the room was either focused on the game or doing their own thing, so no one noticed when Eren moved his hands under your shirt. His fingers brushed against the bare skin above the waistline of your pants.

You felt your breathing become more rapid, and the light touch of Eren’s fingers on your skin set all of your nerves on fire.

You didn’t think that Eren was going to go any further, but then you felt him subtly, but purposely, lift his hips. It was a small movement, but it was enough to let you feel the sensation of his hips grinding into your ass.

You grabbed the hands he had under your shirt and tried to steady yourself. Your efforts were in vain, however, because Eren leaned forward to place a quick kiss to the back of your neck. You reached your breaking point.

“Eren,” you said, your voice almost a whisper.

“Yes?” he asked, saying your name.

You took a deep breath and then turned to face him.

“I think I’d like to see your room,” you told him.

Eren smiled and laced his fingers with yours.

“I’d love to show you,” he said.

You moved off of Eren’s lap and then you both stood up. Still holding his hand, you followed Eren quietly out of Connie’s room. If anyone noticed the two of you sneaking out, they didn’t say anything.

You could hear music and the sound of people talking coming from downstairs as Eren led you down the hallway. When he got to a particular door, he let go of your hand and took a key out of the pocket of his sweatpants.

“After you,” Eren said once he unlocked the door.

The overhead light in Eren’s room was turned off, so his room was lit by the strip of LED lights attached to the wall, and by the light coming in from the window.

You smiled as you looked around the room. There were posters of Eren’s favorite bands and sports teams on the walls, and there were other items around the room that gave it a distinctly “Eren” feel.

Eren shut the door and walked over to you.

“I hope it’s not too messy,” he said, scratching the back of his neck as he looked around the room.

You stepped closer to him and smiled.

“It’s perfect,” you replied

You wouldn’t even care if his room was messy. As long as Eren was here, everything was perfect.

Eren relaxed, and then he moved one of his hands forward to interlace his fingers with yours.

“I’m glad you decided to call me,” Eren said quietly.

“Me too,” you replied.

You weren’t sure who moved first after that, but it didn’t matter. As if there was some force pulling you together, you both slowly moved your faces closer while looking into each other’s eyes.

You sighed happily when you finally felt Eren’s lips meet yours. Eren smiled into the kiss and moved his hands to place them on your waist.

The kiss was gentle at first, the two of you moving your lips softly against each other. You wrapped your arms around Eren’s neck and brought your body even closer to his. The hands Eren had on your waist moved under your shirt, and you made a soft noise as you felt them run across the bare skin just above the waistline of your pants.

The kiss turned heated after that. Your breathing became heavy as you felt Eren’s tongue brush against yours. His hands moved from your waist and ran along your stomach before resting on your chest. You felt so warm from Eren’s touch, and you decided that there were way too many layers of clothing between you and him.

Eren smiled when he felt your hands move to the hem of his shirt. He lightly tugged on your lower lip with his teeth before starting to walk towards his bed. You let him move you backwards, your lips still attached, until you felt the back of your knees hit the bed.

You separated your mouth from Eren’s and sat down. Eren remained standing, his green eyes entirely focused on you. You watched in anticipation as Eren brought his hands to the hem of his shirt. He tugged it over his head and then threw it onto the ground once it was off. You inhaled sharply as you slowly looked down at the defined muscles of Eren’s stomach. His sweatpants were hanging low, so you could see his sharp v-lines leading under his pants.

Before you could stop yourself, you reached out and placed one of your hands on Eren’s torso. You felt his muscles flex under your touch as you ran your hand along his abs. When your hand reached his chest, you stopped and looked up at him. Eren had a smug expression on his face, clearly pleased by your appreciation of his body.

“Like what you see?” Eren asked, mimicking his words from the gym.

“Very much,” you replied.

Eren smiled and then grabbed both of your hands. He moved forward onto the bed so he was on top of you and had your arms pinned on either side of your head.

You looked at Eren for a moment, appreciating the way he looked kneeling over you, and then leaned up to kiss him. He responded right away, his tongue dipping into your mouth. You moved your hands in Eren’s grip to let him know that you wanted him to let go so you could touch him.

Eren released your arms, and your hands immediately moved to his back to feel the smooth, muscled skin there. Eren moved his head and began to kiss along your neck and jaw. His hair was tied up, so you moved your hands to the hair at the back of his neck. Eren hummed in appreciation when he felt your fingers run through the soft strands of his hair.

Continuing to kiss your neck, Eren moved his hands to the hem of your shirt. He pushed it up so your stomach was exposed, and then he moved his mouth off of your neck to look at you for a second.

You smiled at him and pulled the shirt over your head. Eren’s eyes looked over your exposed skin, and you felt yourself become shy under his gaze.

“This what you had in mind when you called?” Eren asked.

“Uh, I don’t really know what I had in mind,” you said. “I just wanted to see you.”

A beautiful smile spread across Eren’s face, and he leaned down to kiss you. You realized that both you and he still had shoes on, so you quickly kicked yours off and moved back further onto the bed. Eren took off his sneakers and then climbed back on top of you.

He began to kiss your neck again, and then he slowly moved his way down your body. He kissed the place where your neck and shoulder connected, and you felt his teeth graze your collar bone.

After a few seconds, you felt his mouth on the top of your breasts which weren’t covered by your bra, and then you moaned softly when you felt Eren begin to kiss his way down your stomach. He kept going until he reached the top of your pants. He looked up at you, and you saw that his green eyes were now dark with desire.

“Can I?” he asked, moving his hands under the waistband of your pants.

“Please,” you said.

Eren smirked and then slowly pulled your pants down your legs. Once they were off, he threw them to the side and moved back up your body. He kissed you, and you moaned when you felt his hand move over the fabric of your underwear.

You knew he could feel how turned on you were from the dampness, but you didn’t care. You moved one of your hands to the front of Eren’s sweatpants, and you knew he felt just the same as you. His cock was straining against the fabric of his sweats, and you began to push them down.

Eren sat up to help you take them off, and he threw them in the same direction as he had your pants. Eren was wearing black boxer-briefs, and you felt the ache between your thighs intensify as you looked down at his crotch.

Eren leaned forward to kiss you again, and his fingers dipped underneath your underwear. You moaned as you felt Eren’s fingers move over your slick center, and you wrapped your legs loosely around his waist.

You kissed Eren’s neck as he continued to move his fingers over you, and then you felt him push one finger inside, which caused you to bite down on his neck. You heard Eren groan, and he began to move his finger in and out. The friction of Eren’s finger inside of you felt so good, and you thrusted your hips to feel it even more.

Eren added a second finger soon after and continued his movements. You were breathing hard into his neck, and he turned his head to look at you.

“Feels good?” he asked.

“Fuck yes,” you groaned out.

Eren smirked, and then started to thrust his fingers even deeper inside of you.

“You feel so good just around my fingers,” Eren said breathlessly.

You moaned as you heard him speak, and you looked down to see his fully hard cock straining against his boxers. The sight made you clench hard around Eren’s fingers, and you put a hand on Eren’s arm to get his attention.

“Hold on a sec,” you said.

Eren immediately stopped his movements and looked at you, an expression of slight concern on his face.

“Everything okay?” he asked.

You nodded and said, “Yep. Just need to do this.”

You reached down to your underwear and pushed it the rest of the way down your thighs. Eren watched as you did so. Once you had thrown it to the side, you looked at Eren, and maintained eye contact with him as you reached behind yourself to unclasp your bra.

You threw that to the side, too, and Eren took in your entire naked body.

“Like what you see?” you asked, raising your eyebrows.

Your voice brought Eren out of his trance, and he grinned.

“You know it,” he replied.

He leaned down and kissed you, and you brought your hands to his back. You scratched his skin lightly when you felt one of his fingers move between your thighs and brush against your clit.

He moved his finger in small motions over the sensitive bundle of nerves, and you felt your thoughts cloud over with arousal. Although you already felt so good, you needed Eren inside of you fully.

“Eren,” you said, finding it hard to speak.

“Mhmm?” he hummed.

You ground your hips up into Eren’s, and he stopped the movement of his fingers.

“Please fuck me,” you pleaded, saying the words directly into his ear.

You saw Eren’s eyes widen slightly at your request. He brought one of his hands to your cheek.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

You nodded and wrapped your legs around him.

“Completely,” you said.

Eren smiled, and then kissed you fiercely. His hips ground down into yours, and you both let out breathy sounds. You moved your hands to Eren’s boxers and pushed them down. Eren sat up to push them the rest of the way down, and then threw them with your other discarded clothing.

The ache between your legs only grew when you saw Eren’s hard cock fully exposed and thought about how it would feel inside of you.

Eren reached into the small nightstand by his bed and took out a condom. He rolled it onto himself and then turned back to you. You reached for him, and Eren laughed as he kissed you.

He settled in between your hips, making you gasp when you felt the tip of his cock against your entrance. You wrapped your legs tightly around Eren’s waist, and you shut your eyes as you felt him push inside you. The stretch was slightly uncomfortable at first, but Eren went slow until his cock was all the way inside.

As you adjusted to his size, the stretch was no longer uncomfortable, and instead felt amazing.

“You okay?” Eren asked, waiting for confirmation that he could move.

“Yes,” you said, and moved your hips to let Eren know that it was okay for him to move.

Eren groaned, and then began to pull his hips back. Once just the tip of his cock was inside of you, he thrusted forward. You both moaned at the feeling.

Eren repeated the motion again and again, thrusting deeper into you each time. You brought your lips to his as he snapped his hips into you, and you met each of his thrusts with your own.

The feeling of Eren inside of you was better than you could have ever imagined. He stretched your cunt perfectly and hit the sensitive spot inside of you with every thrust.

“Shit—” Eren groaned, as he felt you clench around his cock, muttering your name as well as other expletives.

You felt the ache between your thighs begin to grow rapidly, and then Eren moved one of his hands to rub your clit with his fingers. The combination of Eren stimulating your clit and him buried deep inside you had you rushing quickly to orgasm.

“Fuck, Eren. I’m gonna cum,” you told him.

He nodded and kept up the pace of his thrusts.

“Me too,” he said, but was determined to hold out until you finished first.

You tightened your legs around Eren’s waist and pulled yourself closer to him. The two of you kissed messily as the movements of Eren’s hips became more frantic. You gasped when he pushed your legs up towards your chest, the new angle allowing him to go even deeper. You closed your eyes and let your body fully relax, allowing the pleasure to build between your legs until it hit its peak.

You came with a soft cry and Eren’s name on your tongue, and you felt your muscles clench around his cock as your orgasm washed over you. Eren thrusted into you a few more times until his hips stuttered and he reached his climax as well. Eren’s head dropped down next to yours as he came, and you could hear his moans mixed with your name as he released into the condom.

You stayed in that position for a few seconds, both of you exhausted and breathing heavy. You gently ran your hand along Eren’s back in a soothing motion, and he hummed contently. After a few seconds, he moved his head to look at your face.

“You okay?” he asked, and kissed you softly.

You smiled and reached up to brush the loose strands of hair out of Eren’s face.

“Very okay,” you replied.

Eren smiled lazily, and then his body dropped further into yours.

“You’re kinda heavy, though,” you added, grunting at his weight on top of you.

Eren didn’t respond, and you began to lightly hit his shoulder.

“Eren, moveeee,” you encouraged.

In response, Eren wrapped his arms around your back and moved his head to the crook of your neck.

“Don’t want to,” Eren said, his breath tickling your skin.

You couldn’t help but smile at his clinginess, finding it adorable. As tempting as it was to lie with Eren longer, you had to use the bathroom, and should probably see what your friends were doing.

“Please Eren,” you pleaded once more.

He groaned, but relented and pulled out of you. You immediately missed the feeling of him inside of you as he sat up and tied off the condom, throwing it into the trash can by his bed. After a moment, you mustered up the strength to stand, and you stepped off of Eren’s bed.

Eren picked your clothes up off the floor and handed them to you. You thanked him, and then you both began to get dressed. You could hear music from downstairs and the sound of people talking, so you assumed there was a party going on.

“Do you need to use the bathroom or something?” Eren asked once you were dressed.

You nodded, and then followed Eren out of the room. He led you down the hallway you had walked through earlier until he stopped in front of the door to the bathroom.

“Go ahead,” he said.

“Thanks,” you replied, and smiled at him before walking into the bathroom.

Once you were finished, you washed your hands and looked into the mirror over the sink. You looked absolutely wrecked, but it made you smile.

Eren was waiting outside for you, typing something on his phone, but he looked up when you walked towards him.

“Should we see what everyone else is doing?” you asked.

He nodded, and then you walked down the hallway to Connie’s room. The door was shut, and you didn’t hear any of the music that had been playing earlier.

“Hmm,” Eren said. “They probably went downstairs to join the party.”

You took out your phone to see if you had any texts, and sure enough, Hitch, as well as Historia and Ymir, had sent you multiple messages with excessive winkey-face emojis letting you know that they had gone downstairs. You rolled your eyes fondly and put your phone back in your pocket.

“Yeah they did,” you told Eren.

“Thought so,” he said, and then he paused. “Did you want to join them?”

You considered it for a moment, but your body felt tired and all you really wanted to do was relax in your bed.

“I think I’ll go back to my dorm. I’m kinda tired,” you said.

Eren nodded understandingly.

“I’ll walk you back,” he replied, and then took your hand.

You felt your face heat up at the sweet gesture.

“You don’t have to do that,” you said shyly.

Eren just tightened his hand around yours and turned to walk down the hallway.

“I want to,” he said.

You smiled at Eren and followed him through the house and down the stairs. When you got to the main floor, you saw that there were people everywhere enjoying the party that was going on.

Some people came up to Eren to say hi to him, and he continued to hold your hand as he greeted them in return and walked towards the front door of the house. He pushed it open, and you followed him outside.

“Where is your dorm?” Eren asked.

You told him the name of your dorm building, and then you began to walk there together.

The walk was peaceful, and you enjoyed the feeling of the night air as you walked beside Eren. You looked over at him and smiled, and he smiled back and put an arm around your shoulder.

Eventually, you reached your dorm building, and you paused when you got to the entrance.

“Thanks for walking me back,” you said.

“No problem,” Eren replied, smiling softly.

As you looked at him, the words of the question you wanted to ask were on the tip of your tongue. It had been on your mind ever since what happened between you and him in the locker room.

What is going on between us?

You weren’t sure if it was just sex, or if Eren wanted something else out of it. As much as you wanted to know, something stopped you from asking. You didn’t want to potentially ruin the night with a response from Eren that you wouldn’t like.

“I had fun tonight. Thanks for inviting me,” you said instead.

Eren nodded and put his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants.

“Me too. I’m glad you came,” he said.

You both stood there for a moment longer, neither one of you really wanting to say goodbye. You saw Eren take a small step towards you, and you took one towards him.

Before you knew what was happening, your lips were crashing against Eren’s as you kissed each other fiercely right in front of your dorm building. You clawed at Eren’s shirt and his hands ran up and down your back.

You weren’t sure how long you and Eren stayed like that, but eventually, you parted your mouths from each other to breathe.

Eren rested his forehead against yours.

“Goodnight, Eren,” you said breathlessly.

“Goodnight,” he replied, saying your name softly.

You reluctantly pulled away from him, knowing that if you didn’t do it then, you never would. Eren smiled at you once more before turning to walk away. You smiled back at him as you watched him walk down the street.

Your lips were still tingling from the kiss, and you smiled to yourself as you walked into your dorm for the night.

Read Part 5 here

[mrsmaybankhere]

Ten things I hate about you

soo there is it!! i’m very sorry for any mistakes

lmk what you guys think, your feeback is the most important!! ty and ily all xx

Words: over 3.5k 

**I DON'T OWN THE GIF, CREDIT @toesures **

"I hate the way you talk to me...

"Hey, Kook princess!" A familiar voice screamed behind your back, but you didn't even bother to look at him. You already know who it was since no one else call you Kook princess with so much mockery than JJ Maybank. His job is to laugh at you and he enjoys it very much.

"I know you heard it, princess!"

Daddy's girl or just princess was the other nicknames he use very often and you hated every single one of them.

"What do you want, douchebag?" You snap turning around and you almost throw your cup of liquor in his handsome face. Yeah, he irritates the shit out of you on a daily basics, but you admitted to yourself only that he's one of the most handsome man you ever saw. He don't have to ever know that.

You kind of caught JJ off guards. He didn't wanted to tell you something, he just messed with you because that's the only way he get to talk to you. And now that you actually give him the chance to speak, he doesn't know what to say to you.

"So?" You raise your eyebrows at him, your arms at your chest and your cheeks a slightly red because of all the booze and the dancing around with your Kooks friends. JJ looks at you, analyzing your features and the way your body looks in that yellow dress and he just can't think straight and lie to you.

"You look pretty tonight."

You don't even have the time to think about what to say because he just walks away from you, going back to the Pogues like nothing happened. But your first reaction is to genuinely smile, happily like a little girl who get noticed by her first crush.

And you probably were one.

... and the way you cut your hair.

"You think he would do a good job?" JJ asks for 100 times in that day. You sigh as you let aside the old Vogue magazine you were looking into, waiting for your hairdresser to be ready for your boyfriend.

"I told you this many times Jay, but yes. He would do a perfect job." You chuckle a little as JJ is running a hand through his long blond locks. He looks amazing and very hot like this, but it's time for a little change. "How can you trust John B to cut your hair and not a professional hairdresser?"

"It happened one time and we were shitfaced, so..." JJ says laughing and you quickly do the same, the little room now full with your colorful laughs.

"Don't worry. You will look just like Rafe after it." You casually say and you can see how big his eyes got, you biting on your lip to stop you from laughing and ruin your joke. Bobby, your hairdresser, got into the room just in time and you wink at them, especially at your boyfriend.

"I'll kill you." He mutters to you after sitting down onto the chair in front of a big fancy mirror and you laugh happily because you know he won't.

Twenty minutes later, JJ gets up from his chair and you can see the smile playing on his plump lips. His hair is still long enough to run his fingers through it, but shorter on side parts and at the back. He looks even hotter now with a fresh cut. How's that even possible?

"So..." You smile as you walk out of the salon.

"Don't say it." He says quickly, knowing you well enough to anticipate your next words.

"I told you." You say it anyway and you jump onto his back, forcing him to carry you back to the car.

I hate the way you drive my car.

"Fucking hell, JJ! Please, look at the damn road!" You scream and pull the steering wheel. He was too busy looking at Pope who was laughing onto the back seat.

Smoking on a hill at the sunset was a very good idea back then, but now you realized that JJ has to drive your mom's car back to your house since you don't have a driving licence. JJ driving was already a hard pill to swallow, but him high off his ass and driving? That's another level.

"Damn, you almost smashed that car!" Pope is laughing with not a single worry in the world and you want to slap them both right now.

"At least I'm not driving." JJ says with a smirk towards his friend, still smoking a blunt and driving way past the speed limit. They both burst into laughs again and you just can't hold your anger anymore.

"Is not fucking fun!" You yell catching their attention and for a few seconds they got quiet until your boyfriend speaks with a lower voice.

"Momma's mad."

He looks at you only for a second and that was more than enough. The car got off the road and stopped right into a tree. Luckily, JJ slowed down when you screamed and that probably saved your life. You wanted to scream when you felt the impact, but you just couldn't and the three of you stayed in silence for a while, not knowing what to do.

"My mother is gonna kill me." You mutter for yourself and JJ opens his mouth, ready to say something to calm you down but you stop him with your index finger pointing at him. "And I'm gonna kill you."

I hate it when you stare.

"She really did that? Omg" You scream while laughing with the rest of the Pogues, leaning your head on Kie's shoulder as you can feel tears on your cheeks. Nights like these when you all are around a bonfire with cold beer and some weed, telling stories and jokes are your favourites. Even more than any party.

You catch JJ looking at you as lean your body towards him, smiling but still having some tears in your eyes. As you lock your eyes with his you can see something different glaring back at you. Something you don't know how to explain. Maybe awe? Adoration? Love?

"Why are you staring like that, you creep?" You say amused but only for him to hear and you bite on your lower lip as his fingers slowly grab a piece of your hair, moving it away from your face. Soft little gestures like this made you fall hard for him in just one month of relationship.

"You are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

You take a few seconds to realize what he just say to you only because you expected something like "you have something on your face" or "your laugh is ugly" because you are kind of insecure about it, but in his eyes you are the most beautiful girl. And not just outside, like most boys see you, but on the inside.

You can't say anthing because you get really emotional at his words, instead you just pull him into a kiss long and deep enough to hear disapproving shouts coming from your friends. You and JJ show them your middle fingers while smiling into the kiss, not ready to be apart yet.

I hate your big dumb combat boots...

"Come on, baby! Are you ready?" JJ screams for you to hear. He's been waiting in your living room, playing on the Playstation for what feels like hours. The others are already surfing without you by now and JJ loves to be the first onto the waves.

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Couldn't find my new bathing suit." You say and you know JJ will forgive you when he will see your new sexy black suit. You bought it especially for him.

"Can't wait to see it, but come on. We have to-..."

"Wait." You stop on the last step of the stairs and watch his combat boots. JJ groans because you're not hurrying to leave at all and you groan because he's still wearing them.

"Jay, can't believe you're wearing boots when there is a heat wave...Seriously. You are gonna sweat your ass off. " You mutter while coming closer to him, wearing your comfortable pink flip flops.

"The girl with flip flops is talking about my boots? You should keep your pretty big mouth closed."

"Or?" You ask and a smirk is quickly to rise on JJ's face. He knew you gonna say that.

"Or I will make sure to close it for you, baby."

...and the way you read my mind.

"Guys, you know what I'm craving sooo bad right now?" You yell out of nowhere, making John B jump in his place in the hammock. You are on your period and you've been a mess all day. The heat is already insupportable and the pain you feel in your lower stomach make it even worse for you as you lay on the porch's floor with a warm bottle on your stomach, hoping the pain will go away.

"What's that?" Kie asks, understanding your pain.

"Burgers and melon ice cream." You smile, thinking at your favourite ice cream flavor and your friends chuckle a little. Right now that's all you need: some ice cream and your boyfriend back from work.

"I will text JJ and he'll get you some. Okay?" Pope says with an amused grin and you nod your head, your smile fanding into a frown as you’re in pain again. "I forgot there is no signal."

You close your eyes, but after a few minutes of hearing them talking about the hurricane that was here days ago, you also hear a motorbike you can recognize it from anywhere. JJ got up from it and as he does the Pogue salute with John B, Pope and Kie you can see a bag in his other hand.

"Hello baby" You get up a little and manage to smile at him, ignoring the constant pain. He smiles back at you, placing a soft kiss to your forehead and your lips.

"Hello beautiful. How are you feelin'?" He asks because in the morning when he got up from work, you were still asleep and you stained the sheets. That didn't mattered to him, but he assumed that you are not feeling too good now. Periods are awful, he knows from Kie.

"The pain is killin' me and I wanted some..."

"Ice cream?" He raises his eyebrows to you and opens the bag, pulling out your favourite melon ice cream, some chocolate and burgers for all of you. Your friends are looking at you, all speechless and JJ saw it.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He says, confusion all over his face.

"I just said I wanted ice cream and a burger..." You say and you almost forget about the pain because emotions take now control over you and your body. So much that you can feel tears in your eyes.

"You know me so well!" He pulls you into his arms, wrapping his arms around your body as he's softly kissing the top of your head.

"'Course I do. I got you, sweet girl."

I hate you much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme.

I hate the way you're always right.

"What a hell of a shortcut you knew, Pope! Thank you!" JJ says with a roll of his eyes and you look around, trying to recognize something but there are just trees. There's nothing you can actually recognize.

"Well, it was a good camping night guys." Kie says with sarcasm fulling her tone and everyone quickly starts arguing for nothing.

"Hey, hey! Chill out" You say, knowing this is going nowhere and you speak again after a short moment of thinking. "I think we have to go to the left."

"What? Bullshit. We have to go straight" Your boyfriend says and you put your arms in your hips, looking at him and already starting to get angry.

"No, I don't think so."

"I'm the best at orientation and-..." You just can't shup up so you interrupt him.

"Who ever said this, hm?"

"Well, actually no one. But I'm better than you anyway."

"Oh, bite me. We are going left."

"No, we're not."

And you should shut up right there because after a huge fight, you went straight and you find the camping spot.

After loading off the Van, JJ loosely grabs your shoulders and pulls you closer to him. A proud smirk on his lips as he's talking to you.

"Do you have something to say, [Y/N]? An apology maybe?"

You frown not wanting to do that, but when you try to move away from him, he pulls you even closer to his side.

"I can't hear you yet."

"Oh, shut up, you're enjoying this too much. You were right, okay?"

"Don't worry" He peck your pouting lips. "I still love your stubborn ass."

I hate it when you lie.

"JJ, tell me the truth. You did it?" You ask and you watch him impatiently, hoping to hear what you wanted and not be a lie. "You pulled the gun at Topper?"

He already lied to you a few days ago when it happened. You weren't there as you were stuck at a family dinner and later he didn't wanted to ruin the first night between you two. So he didn't told you what happened at the boneyard. Even if he knew you will eventually find out.

He just hoped it won't be that soon.

"Yeah, I did."

"Why would you lie to me, Jay?" You slowly ask and you take a step back, for the first time ever feeling really disappointed in him. He can see it on your face. He gets up from the stairs, trying to grab your hands in his, but you reject his gesture and you can see the hurt flashing in his beautiful eyes.

"Don't act like this, baby...Come on. It's not that big of a deal anyway."

"It's not? Do you really think that? Cause I think it is!" Your voice is higher by a tone and you don't want to turn this into a screaming match, so you just take another step back. "I need to calm down, okay? Don't call or text. I'll do it when I will get over it."

JJ said nothing as he's watching you leave the Chateau's backyard and he can't stop the feeling that he's letting you leave for good. But you said that you'll call.

And you will. He hoped so.

I hate when you make me laugh...

"Stop, stop it now please!"

Everyone who's hearing you right now would think that you are getting hurt or something. Thank God that John B doesn't have any neighbors because you are just begging JJ to stop tickling you as you laugh so hard you can barely breath properly.

... even worse when you make me cry.

"You want what?" You ask, your voice cracking even if you try so hard to keep yourself in one piece in front of him. You're pride is too important for you, but is getting hard to lock your tears in.

"A breakup. I'm sorry [Y/N], I really am but..." He looks away from you, trying to find his words and when he looks at you again, his eyes are watery too. How dare he? How can he be the one crying when he's the one taking the decision? "I don't feel good anymore. I feel like I'm caged up and I'm not that type of guy. I'll never be. I know that's what you wanted princess, but-..."

He didn't saw it coming, but that nickname made you slap him across the face. His head is now turn to the left, a red mark of your hand imprimed on his cheek.

"I guess I deserve that. But I can't be what you want and you know it...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

You don't even realize that you are crying that hard, not until you hear yourself sobbing and gasping for air in front of him. His face is a blurry vision for you, you can't really see him anymore because of the waves of tears, the pain shattering you inside.

"No, shut up! You're not sorry. Don't sell me shit." You scream and you run your shacking fingers through your hair. You wipe your eyes with your palms, trying to stop the tears and instead you just ruined your mascara.

"Please, don't hate me."

Tears are wetting his cheeks as well and you simply can't stand there with him anymore. You shake your head, still watching him while you slowly take steps back. You need to get out of here before you fall apart for good in front of him. You can't be more pathetic than you already are, humiliating yourself for a guy when all you wanted to do was to love him.

"Don't hate me. Please, don't." He says again and you want so bad to scream that you do hate him for breaking your heart, but you can't. Your lips can't move as you just walk away, almost running with a hand to your mouth stopping a scream.

I hate it that you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call.

When you walked into the house with your hair and clothes soaked wet from the rain, your makeup smashed all over your face and your eyes puffy from all the crying, your mother already knew what happened. He wanted to say "I told you" because she really did told you that the Maybank boy is just trouble and you didn't listened to her. And as she hold you, she hoped that you didn't get to love him, that you will be fine after a few hours of sleep or a day or two. But now it's been two week and nothing could get you out of your room. Not even Kie and Sarah, your best friends.

You felt pathetic as you kept watching your phone screen, waiting for him to call you. To text you, to do anything to get to you. You even deleted his number, knowing you would want to call him and you did it anyway with a private number. He answered and you both stayed in silence for two whole minutes. He knew it was you and he was smiling with tears in his eyes. You didn't care that knew.

Listening to his silence was better than nothing at all. His absence was killing you.

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you.

You think that Kie, Sarah, Pope or John B are knocking at your door now, trying their best to get you out of the house. You went out with them for a few days for  a few hours while you know JJ was working and before you had to meet him, you would left. But you open your door now and you can't leave.

You don't know what to say. There's nothing to say as you both are looking at each other. You can see on him the same dark circles that you see everyday on you. You are wearing his shirt and he's wearing your hairband at his wrist. You blink a few times just to stop yourself from crying again.

"What are you doing here, JJ?" You ask after seeing that he's beating himself up to say something and he can't find his words.

"I-...I don't know." You can see how dilated and red his eyes are. He’s stoned and your heart sting at the thought of him being here only because of this, because he can't think straight.

"Okay." You want to close to door, but his combat boot got into your way stopping you. "What do you want from me? I gave you everything I had, I tried to be the best girlfriend and-...And it wasn't enough. What more can I give you beside myself, hm?"

Not even close...

"What?" JJ slowly ask, shocked to hear that you are thinking this way. All this time he was sure that you hate him, despite him and regret ever welcoming him into your perfect life only for him to ruin it, but you were doing the opposite.

You think that there's something wrong with you, not with his damaged ass. You think that you aren't good enough, when in fact you are more than he can handle. That's the problem: you are too much, too precious and too good and he's the dirty douchebag who just found a diamond and he doesn't know his true value, he doesn't know what to do with it. In JJ's point of view, that was your relationship like.

"Why wasn't I enough for you?" You voice crack and you fall, but JJ catches you into his arms before you can hit the floor. He walks into your house, holding you tight at his chest while taking a sit on the couch. That damn couch when he made love with you for the last time.

"You are enough, babe. You always were enough, but I'm not."

"Fuck you!" You scream while crying and you try to break his hug around your body, but there's no way he's letting you go away from him again. "How can you say that? Don't you see?"

"See what?" You raise your head from his chest, his fingers tracing lines on your cheeks. He wipes your tears and you do the same with his.

"You can't see that I don't hate you? I wish I could hate you. But I can't....

...not even a little bit...

"I'm not even close to that....

...not even at all..."

"You broke my heart into pieces and I can't hate you at all."

JJ is the one who's crying now. You never saw him like that before, not even after the worst fight with his father. Sobbing that hard while holding you tight, his head into your chest as he keeps repeat "I'm sorry" and "please forgive me".

"I've never been loved like this, [Y/N] and-...I kept telling myself that I don't deserve it, that you try to change me because you don't love the piece of shit I actually am and...And I almost lost you because of that."

“Don’t ever say that. You are amazing and you deserve love and happiness.”

You kiss the top of his head, his forehead and his salty lips before pulling his head back at your chest, both of you trying to calm down. This shouldn't happen, but you know that this is gonna bring you even closer to each other.

"Do you still love me? Like you did before." You ask with a little smile playing on your lips. JJ raise his head to look at you and his eyes speaks even before his lips.

"Yes. I'm crazy for you, [Y/N]." You both meet in a sweet kiss before he pulls away, his forehead pressed against yours. "Do you-...?"

"Yeah, I do. I do love you, JJ. You have no idea how much."

[whumpingcrow]

Pt. 12 "It's Already October?"

CW: PTSD themes, nightmares, insomnia, dishonesty about mental state, past noncon/dubcon mention, past abuse mention, emotional abuse, panic attack, tics/tourrettes, food mention, slapping mention, injury mention, blood, self harm (explicit), razor mention, bondage mention, drugs/alcohol (explicit), August is sort of in this one, oblivious caretaker, party setting, halloween setting (Let me know if I missed anything!)

(Note, as a general warning these two upcoming chapters are going to be pretty graphic with descriptions/intensity of the situation, and I really want to reinforce that I prefer if these stories are viewed by 18+ readers, and is read with discretion <3 -Crow)

The last time that Elias had talked to Allen, he had promised that things were going to start getting easier, that the pain and the fear would ebb and it would all begin to feel ok very soon. Elias was beginning to think that he had a different idea of 'soon' than Allen did, because he wasn't feeling like it was getting any better. If anything, it seemed like it was only going to keep getting worse. His nightmares were so violent and often that he didn't even put in effort to sleep anymore, he simply stayed up after the first time he was jolted out of his sleep. After that he would always sneak out of the room around Tyson and busy himself with something until he woke up as well. He was constantly tired, sure, but it was ridiculously hard to convince himself to close his eyes and force himself back into a nightmare once he was already awake. It made him feel incredibly ashamed, but he was getting rather good at hiding how much all of it was really wearing down on him from Tyson, how he wasn't allowing his injuries to heal, how he was always terrified and exhausted. Except that this didn't exactly go in his favor, because he was acting so good that Tyson decided he could go back to work.

"I'm not working the full shift, so I'll be back before you even know it. You'll probably sleep the whole time, won't even know I'm gone." He smiled at Elias, who was sitting at the edge of the bed watching him get ready. "If you need anything, you can call Leo or Allen, or me if you don't wanna call them."

Elias nodded, only out of obedience, he didn't want to bother anyone by calling them in the middle of the night. He could deal with it himself, just like he always did. "You look nice in your scrubs," he said, to deflect the attention off of himself, "like one of those hot doctors from that show."

Tyson laughed and flopped onto the mattress next to him. "Yeah? This pale blue really brings out my eyes, huh?" He melted as Elias laughed, the sound of it was light and, if he dared to think, happy. Maybe he was gonna be just fine, he seemed like he was doing alright so far. He was hopeful, and the fact that he was about to leave Elias alone all night and he was alright enough to be laughing had to be a good sign, right? It was ironic, but it seemed like Elias was less nervous about the whole situation than Tyson was. With a small sigh, he reached over and smoothed out a wrinkle on the sheets and mumbled, "I'm gonna miss you."

At that, Elias turned his gaze away from him, trying not to let his upset that he was leaving show. "You'll be too busy to miss me." He insisted, forcing as much humor into the sentence as possible.

"I highly doubt that." Tyson pulled him against his chest, kissing his cheek gently. When he thought about having to stand up to leave, dread filled his chest and weighed him down enough to stay put. He tried not to think about how someone might break in, how they might take Elias away from him again, how he would be powerless, so far away. August was in jail now, he reminded himself, Elias would be ok.

"You're gonna be late, Doctor." Elias teased him, pushing him away playfully. He smiled when Tyson sighed heavily and stood up, looking him up and down.

"Ok... I'll see you in the morning. Promise you'll call someone if anything happens?" He waited for Elias to nod, then grabbed his bag and turned to the door.

He only made it a few steps before he heard Elias stand up, his voice small and scared as he breathed, "Tyson, wait."

"Hm?" He looked over Elias, who had his arms wrapped around himself and looked like he might fall over any second. He was silent for a long time, squeezing his hands tightly around the materiel of his shirt, looking like he was too nervous to say what was on his mind.

"I love you," he finally muttered, "that's all. Have a good night."

Tyson grinned at him and crossed the room again to kiss him. "I love you too. Get some rest."

---------------------------------

Whatever movie was playing on the TV was boring, Elias couldn't seem to focus on it. He had been sitting on the couch the majority of the night, smoking weed every time he felt uneasy. He got up a few times to double-check that the door was locked, just to make himself feel a little better. It was painfully lonely without Tyson, without the simple knowledge that there was someone else in the house with him. He debated calling him, just to hear his voice, but he didn't want to take him away from his work. Then he wondered if maybe he should call Allen, that he might have some advice about being alone. Really he felt like he just needed someone to talk to, someone to tell him that he was doing alright.

"Everything you're doing is wrong," August was sighing, shaking his head disdainfully. The disappointed glare in his deep blue eyes could've killed Elias, made his chest ache so painfully every other injury he'd ever gotten from August paled in comparison. August was a monster, a sadistic devil of a man who's main goal seemed to be causing everyone else around him misery. So then, Elias found himself wondering time and time again, why was displeasing him so upsetting? Why did Elias feel like he was crumbling to pieces without his approval? "Tyson's too soft on you. But you know that, of course, don't you sweetheart?"

"I'm trying to do what you taught me it's just...he doesn't care. I don't know what to do."

"Yes you do. You've got to be punished, my love." Just like always, his voice was disgustingly honeyed, even as August grabbed him by the throat and pinned him to the ground. Elias didn't even see him grab them, but there were the ropes again, tight around his wrists as always, and Elias couldn't move, and he could see the glint of the razor inching closer to his skin.

"August please God, no! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Please I'll do better!" He couldn't breathe, he couldn't move, August was going to slice into him again and he couldn't handle anymore pain.

"You know you need it, Elias. Remember, it's to help you be better. Don't you want to be better?" His voice was sweet, almost caring, even with the corner of the razor digging into his skin.

Elias didn't remember falling asleep, but all at once he was bolting off of the couch and gasping in frenzied breaths, looking around the dimly lit room for any sign of danger. He was alone still, there was no one with him. As soon as he realized it was only a nightmare, he blindly reached forward until his hand brushed the glass pipe on the table. He didn't waste any time pulling it toward him so that he could get high again. Even though the smoke made him cough, he felt like he could breathe a little better the foggier his head got. He checked his phone, disappointed when he saw Tyson hadn't checked up on him yet and that it would still be hours until he got back. Without meaning to, he thought back to the nightmare, what August was saying. His subconscious August, at least.

Would he feel better if someone hurt him? Would it make him stop lying and hiding what he was feeling if he just got into trouble for it once? He knew Tyson wouldn't ever lay a hand on him, and August was long gone. But the more he lingered on the idea, the more he realized how much he needed the pain. His anxiety only began to worsen again as he dwelled on it, so he stood up and tried to busy himself by cleaning up. It helped for a bit, he was mostly distracted enough that he didn't think of the nightmare or the idea of being punished, until he got to the bathroom.

He was paralyzed the second he saw the large straight razor sitting menacingly on the shelf of the medicine cabinet, similar to the one August had used on him. He could feel the sharpness of it without even touching it, he was familiar with the sting and the burn that came when it was dragged heavily against his skin, he remembered the dull soreness of the injuries when they started healing. What he didn't know was how it would feel to hold it, though, he had never been allowed to touch it in that way. He wondered how heavy it would be, if it would be cold or not. His hand was trembling as he reached out and picked it up, his breath bated as he looked it over. It was so god damn sharp. If someone were to hold it to his skin and just ruin him, he imagined it would probably be like pushing a reset button, like he would be brand new when it was all over. At the thought, he set it down and pulled his sweatshirt off, not even bothering to look at himself in the mirror, grabbing the razor again once his shirt was on the floor. There was nothing he wanted more than to cry at the dangerous thoughts running through his head, but at the same time this felt like the only option. He placed the razor over the healing cuts on his forearms, taking a few ragged breaths to gain some courage.

-----------------------------

Tyson felt bad when Elias flinched awake as he crawled into bed with him, he seemed to be sleeping so peacefully. He looked lost and scared as he sat up, squinting through the dark at Tyson.

"Just me, love. I was gonna come sleep with you for a bit, is that ok?" He asked him, finding his hand on the blanket and brushing his fingertips over it.

Elias's shoulders dropped back to relaxed and he moved closer to Tyson, allowing him to pull him against his chest as they laid back down. "How was work?" He whispered.

"It was alright. How was your night?" He rubbed up and down his back, trying not to be bothered as he felt his spine underneath his hand.

Elias was silent for a while, then he cleared his throat. "I missed you a lot. It was lonely here."

"Yeah, I bet. Did you sleep well? I mean, before I woke you up."

"Uh...yeah, sort of. I stayed up late though. Watched a movie." He snuggled closer to Tyson, against his bare chest, sighing at the warmth.

They talked for a little longer, until Tyson was too tired to stay awake, and then Elias just stayed close to him and listened to him breathing for a long time. He couldn't fall asleep again, mostly because he didn't want to wake Tyson up if he had a nightmare, but also because he couldn't get comfortable with all of the new cuts on his arms.

There was a lot more blood than Elias was expecting, and he was too shocked to move for a second as he watched the red ribbons stream down his skin, and then a sort of sick calm washed over him. He didn't remember it feeling this relieving when August did it, but, God, did it feel like a breath of fresh air. So he just kept going, and soon he was covered in blood, like he was used to, and he turned off the light and sat at the bottom of the shower for awhile until the bleeding stopped.

--------------------------

After the sun started to shine through the curtains, Elias slipped out of Tyson's arms carefully and made his way to the kitchen, busying himself by making breakfast. He made himself some coffee while he waited for the french toast to cook, then he began to cut up some fruit. It felt odd to hold the knife after hurting himself the night before, and he found himself shaking slightly. He was doing everything he could to stay busy, he felt like if he stopped moving he would sit down and fall asleep, and he couldn't handle another nightmare. He didn't want to see August anymore, he wanted it to really be over, and when he was dreaming about him it was like actually being around him again.

"That smells amazing." Tyson remarked as he came into the kitchen. Elias jumped hard, nearly dropping the knife that he was holding.

"Jesus," he huffed, trying to breathe so his heart would stop racing, "I didn't know you were awake."

Tyson sighed as he leaned against the counter, looking around at all the food. "I just woke up."

Tyson looked so good, his dark, curly hair was messy, his face was still tired and he was shirtless and his voice was gruff from sleep. Elias set the knife down as carefully as he could and walked over to him, wrapping his arms around his torso and hugging him close. "Well, good morning, then."

"Good morning. How long have you been awake?"

"Oh, uh...I um..."

"Did you go back to sleep after I got home?" He pulled away from Elias and inspected his face. He had dark circles under his eyes, but he couldn't really tell if it was from lack of sleep or the healing bruises. Tyson knew he was getting thinner from holding him, but now that he was looking at him harder, he could see it in his face, too. He frowned as Elias shook his head, then placed his hand over his cheek.

"I'm sorry," Elias choked out, fearful over the disdainful look on Tyson's face, "I tried to, I just couldn't...I just didn't wanna have another nightmare-"

"Hey, it's ok, love. You've got nothing to be sorry about."

Even though his voice was nothing but sweet and loving, Elias turned away from him with a frustrated sigh. "For fucks sake, Tyson!" He groaned, grabbing the counter to steady himself. "I'm fucking up so bad why cant you just, like, fucking yell at me or something!?"

Tyson was shocked at the outburst, gawking at him for a moment, left speechless. He was angry at him for not being angry? Allen had been similar when he first got back, tried everything he could think of to get the people around him to see that he was bad, that he was deserving of pain, but that stopped for the most part once he realized that the people around him were safe and wouldn't hurt him even if he wanted them to. He could see Elias shaking where he stood and he felt helpless in that moment, like there was no way he could comfort him.

"Elias," he said softly, stepping carefully toward him, "you have been through more pain and fear than anyone should have to deal with in their entire lifetime. I can't imagine how hard it is for you to adjust after that, and I'm not going to punish you because you're having a hard time."

Suddenly, Elias burst into tears, caving in on himself as his shoulders shook in sobs. "You don't understand! I'm so...I need...I need you to fucking...! God fuck Tyson!"

"Baby calm down." Tyson moved to grab his shoulders in some attempt to soothe him, but Elias turned and shoved his arms away, stumbling back from him. "Elias, please-"

"Shut the fuck up! Shut up Tyson, stop being so fucking nice to me!" He covered his face as he cried, sinking down to the floor with a thud. Tyson sat down across from him, hands to himself, and watched as he began to rock back and forth a little.

"I love you Eli-"

"Stop it! Please stop it!"

"-I love you so much and you're not doing anything wrong."

Elias only got more hysteric at that, his breathing so quick and labored that Tyson was worried he might pass out. When Elias began to tic and hit his injured hand against the ground, Tyson grabbed his wrist to hold him still. Elias fought harder, screaming to be let go, for Tyson to "stop fucking touching him!" and thrashing in his grip. He wasn't going to calm down, not like this, not on his own, and he was hurting himself, so Tyson had no other choice. In one quick movement, he slapped Elias across the face.

He felt bad instantly, of course, but Elias grew still, apart from his body trembling and his shoulders rising and falling with his labored breathing. He looked up at Tyson, fear etched into every detail of his face. After a few seconds of silence, he dropped his head down and took a deep breath.

"Th-thank you," he breathed, his voice just as shaky as his body, "thank you, Tyson."

Tyson shook his head, fighting the tears in his eyes as he stood up. "Come here."

Elias slowly pushed himself to his feet, sniffling a few times and trying to steady his breathing. He stiffened when Tyson grabbed his shoulders, only bowing his head further in submission. He fought the familiar dread he usually had when August was only just beginning a punishment, when he knew he was going to be weak and broken and near death in a moment. Logically, he knew Tyson wouldn't hurt him as bad as August would, but after being hit, his brain went right back to that same fearful, trained head-space.

"Look at me, baby," Tyson whispered. When Elias shook his head and grew even more tense, Tyson took a step toward him. "Eli, angel," he cooed, tilting his face up until he grudgingly made eye contact. "Are you ok?"

Elias nodded eagerly, eyes still wide and terrified. "M'ok." He insisted. Tyson knew it was just because he thought it was what he wanted to hear, he could still see the fear and the pain written on his face.

"I'm so sorry I hit you. I won't do it again." He wiped the tears from his face as he spoke. His cheek was red from where he hit him, and Tyson's heart sank further. "I love you so much, Elias, I never want to hurt you. Ever."

Elias forced a small smile, nodding his head. "It's ok. I love you." He flinched a fraction as Tyson stooped down to hug him, then melted into his arms. He closed his eyes and took a few more deep breaths. He counted to ten, then pulled away and cleared his throat. "Your breakfast is gonna get cold."

--------------------------------

Tyson couldn't be sure if it was just because he had been hit earlier and now wanted more than ever to please him or if he genuinely wanted to, but he was surprised when Elias insisted they go to Leo and Allen's for the Halloween party they'd been invited to. When Tyson brought it up, it was mostly just to let Elias know that they were thinking of him, that he had friends who wanted to see him, he wasn't expecting him to want to go. Initially, Elias was just shocked that it was already Halloween, had he been with August for that long...? Had it already been almost two weeks since he'd last seen him? He tried not to act too bothered about how much it shook him up, realizing he'd completely lost his sense of time lately. But once Elias said that he would love to go, Tyson gladly agreed, promised Elias that if it got uncomfortable or overwhelming they would leave. Elias was amused with Tyson's makeshift costume, his tight red shirt and cheap devil horn head band. He looked ridiculously attractive, and here Elias was in his oversized hoodie he'd been wearing for days and an added jacket, his hair and face were both an absolute mess. He felt ugly, not that he didn't always feel like that lately, but as long as Tyson was distracting him he wasn't really thinking about it.

The party had a lot more people than either of them were expecting, the house was buzzing with conversation and music and loud laughter, and Elias was instantly intimidated. He reached for Tyson's hand and stood close to him, looking down at his shoes as he was guided through the crowd.

"Hey! I didn't think you guys would come!" Someone was saying. Elias looked up for a split second to see it was Leo, who was grinning ear to ear. Elias was envious of his carefree happiness, and he wanted to sob when Tyson let go of his hand to hug Leo. "How are you, Elias?"

He flinched at the sound of his own name, snapping his eyes up to Leo. He hated being addressed like that, like a person, because every time he could hear August pounding it into his brain that he was less than human, that he wasn't important enough to be spoken to, that he was only alive because August allowed it, because August wanted to use him, because he was a punching bag, because he was a sex toy, because-

"I'm fine," he choked out, forcing a tight smile. "Do you have any booze?"

Leo frowned at him in confusion, then looked to Tyson for some sort of explanation. When he only responded with a simple shrug, Leo turned his attention back to Elias. "Uh...yeah. Yeah, it's in the kitchen."

Elias thanked him and turned away from them both, weaving through people until he found himself in the kitchen. Only a few people were in there with him, one of them being Allen, who looked just as uncomfortable as Elias. He was wearing a tee shirt and bow tie, which was the most low effort costume Elias had ever seen. He would have laughed, if he wasn't so hell bent on getting himself drunk so he could handle being here.

"Hey," Allen said, smiling a little, "I didn't know y-you were here."

"Yeah, just got here. Ty's with Leo." As he spoke, he poured himself a shot of tequila, holding his breath so he wouldn't tic and spill it. He threw it back, gagging on the taste, on the memories of August forcing him to take shot after shot of the burning drink because he was more fun when he was drunk, he was told. "What are you supposed to be?" He asked. Allen's eyes were on him as he filled up the shot glass again, then grimaced as he set it down and reached for something to chase it with.

"Oh, I dunno. I've n-never really done this whole Halloween party thing." He shifted his weight, chewing his lip. "What about you?"

Elias didn't answer him, shaking his head. "Can we please go somewhere quiet? This sucks."

Allen laughed, "yeah, it does, huh? Wanna go sm-smoke?" After Elias agreed, Allen took his hand and led him out to the backyard. There were a few other people, but they were dispersed enough that they found a place far away from everyone quickly.

"Tyson hit me today," Elias said suddenly, looking at the ground as he smoked, "I can't even remember why. I just...I just remember I was on the floor and he hit me."

Allen was shocked into silence for a moment, then he took a deep breath and leaned against the wall they were standing at. "Was he mad at you?"

Elias felt on the verge of tears then, couldn't speak over the lump in his throat. "He didn't seem mad, he said he was sorry after. I think he just...I think he just felt like hitting me."

Allen shook his head. "No, Tyson isn't like August. He wouldn't just hit you because he wanted to." When he looked up at Elias, he was surprised to see his cheeks wet with tears and a tight frown on his face. "Hey, it's ok, Elias. It's ok."

"No, it isn't. I'm so fucking exhausted." He dropped his head into his hands and fought the sobs shaking his shoulders. "I can't sleep and I can't eat and I feel like I'm fucking up every little thing-" he froze up when he felt Allen's arms around him, holding him tight. For a second he was stunned into silence, then he really began to cry.

"You're gonna be alright," he was saying, "right now, you're in the hardest part of it, but it's gonna get better." He pulled Elias closer as his weak, broken whimpers shook his small frame. He didn't remember ever being in this much despair, sure, he was confused and scared and hurting, but for the most part he was just relieved that he was safe. How long had Elias been back, a week and a half? When Allen had been back for that long, he was focusing on trying to get his life back together, trying to mend relationships and himself and feel as normal as he could. Elias seemed to be breaking apart over and over again. August must've been so cruel to him.

When Elias slowly stopped crying, he pulled himself out of Allen's grip and took a deep breath. "I um...I'm gonna go get another drink. Thanks for uh, talking to me."

"Yeah, of course. Let me know if you need anything." Allen watched as he stood up and limped back into the house.

[nanoland]

drowstiel fic in progress

title: Clean Hands

fandom: Supernatural

pairings: Crowley/Castiel, Crowley/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester

blurb: In which Crowley is no one's first choice and he's totally fine with that! :) Really! :) :) :)

warnings: smut, cannibalism, demons getting themselves Extremely murdered

0 

Trumpets sounded. Mortar cracked. The ceiling collapsed, squashing half of Crowley’s court, and holy, horrifying light flooded into every corner.

“We are going,” Castiel growled, storming up to the throne and grabbing him by the scruff, “for a drink.”

Crowley’s tail twitched, wordlessly instructing his bodyguards to stand down. “Um. Fine?”

“Now.”

“Alright, alright. Where?”

“I don’t care.”

So Crowley teleported them to a cosy little nook in Finland, highly ranked among his personal favourites and unknown to any colleagues or enemies. It had a roaring fireplace, generously padded chairs, thick faux fur rugs, and a table by a window through which one could watch snow gently blanketing the city of Rovaniemi.

They ordered Koskenkorva and cider and Salmari and beer – or rather, Crowley did, while Castiel stared broodingly into the fire – and competed to see who could get totally hammered first.  

Castiel won. Castiel always won.

“Coke?” Crowley offered.

Scowling, the angel mumbled, “No. Nnn-o. Dean drinks Coke. Dean bought me a Coke once. Said I should try it. He always wants me to try things. Bacon and Star Wars and cowboy paraphernalia. Human things. Never wants to recipra… recipe… recital… never wants to try my things. Angel things. One-way street. Always.”

“Mmm. I can understand how that might feel invalidating, kitten. However, I was in fact offering you cocaine. Top-quality stuff, of course. Or weed?”

“Oh. Uhh – no. Thank you. Can I sit in your lap?”

With a put-upon sigh, Crowley settled back into his chair.

A woman seated across the room tutted disapprovingly as Castiel clambered onto him, twisting this way and that until he’d made himself comfortable with his legs dangling over the arm rest and his tousled head heavy on Crowley’s shoulder.

Looking her way with a pleasant, if carnivorous smile, Crowley said, “Your husband’s name is Verner. Your sister’s name is Aurelia. They’re currently having sex in your kitchen. Her bare, perky arse is resting on your oven mittens – the nice ones with the canary pattern. If you leave right now, you can catch them at it.”

“You are an abomination,” Castiel murmured into his neck as she bolted.

“You’re an absurdity,” he countered, sniffing his hair. Cheap shampoo. Cheap conditioner. Wood smoke, presumably from the boys’ latest hunt. Traces of blood. Traces of God.

The fire crackled. They drank some more.

“I gave Dean a feather,” Castiel said. “One of mine. It’s what we do to show loyalty. Admiration. When I served Heaven, I received feathers from various admirers every week.”

He sounded smug.

Adorable.

“It wasn’t sexual, mind,” he added, quickly.

“Of course.”

“Nor romantic. We don’t engage in such things. Nonetheless, it was meaningful. Is meaningful.”

“And Dean, I imagine, didn’t realize that.”

“Obviously not. I wasn’t expecting him to. He’s a human; why should he understand our customs? But I thought… I thought he’d at least ask. I was prepared for him to ask. I had an explanation ready to go. And then he didn’t. He took the feather, looked embarrassed, smiled, thanked me, and returned to doing Sam’s laundry.”

“Ouch.”

“I’ve never been so humiliated.”

Crowley gave him a consoling kiss, which he returned hungrily, though not cruelly. In this, Castiel was never cruel. Only demanding. Which was fine; Crowley liked being in demand.

When Castiel withdrew his questing tongue, he looked unsatisfied. (Brattish.) “Why must you always lurk so deep? Come forward. I want to see you.”

Huffing, like it wasn’t something he was asked to do and gladly did every time, Crowley let himself slide from his host’s brain into his eyeballs, turning them crimson; from his chest to his tongue, causing his breath to stink of petrol and graveyard dirt; from his veins to his extremities, prompting his fingernails and toenails to adopt a distinctly claw-like appearance. His expensive black socks would be ruined. “Better, birdy?”

Immediately, Castiel returned to kissing him. (Really, it felt as though he was trying to suck Crowley from his host’s mouth into his own.

Like he wants to eat me.

Crowley shivered happily.)  

Drawing back, Castiel said, “Take us to a hotel room. I want to touch your penis.”

“I live but to serve.”

It had taken Crowley a while to work out what Castiel’s odd sexual ministrations made him feel like; a stim toy. The angel liked nothing more than to fiddle with him. To tug at his chest hair, to pluck at his nipples until they were plump and rosy, and yes, to poke and pat and play with his cock until Crowley whimpered.

“I don’t understand why he’s so reluctant to open up to me,” Castiel sighed, breath-taking on black silk sheets and settled between Crowley’s thighs, twirling grey-streaked pubic hair around his index finger.

“I like opening up to you,” said Crowley, and demonstrated.

Castiel lowered his head and peered appreciatively. “Your vessel is so much furrier than mine. Like you’ve glued a badger’s pelt between your buttocks.”

Some might have found a fuckbuddy who had only two settings – i.e. ‘the worst dirty talk conceivable’ and ‘pining for another man’ – frustrating. Crowley had long since put such petty grievances aside, because he was emotionally mature. Worldly. Smooth. Definitely not because he craved Castiel’s presence all day long and whispered his name to the stars at night.

“Hurry up and stick it in me, you twat.”

As Castiel hoisted Crowley’s legs over his shoulders, he stroked the hair there too. “Mmm. So fluffy. Honestly, with all this to keep you warm, I don’t see why you have to cover yourself in so many layers.”

“You’re one to talk! You’d wear that trench to the scorching outback if you got half the chance.”

“Temperature isn’t a factor for me. Besides, Dean likes me wearing it. It gives him a sense of continuity that he lacks in other areas of his life.”

Castiel couldn’t tell the difference between a groan of pleasure and a groan of exasperation. That was for the best.

Afterwards, Crowley arranged his host such that the majority of his weight rested on Castiel’s chest. So far, it was the only reliable way to ensure he didn’t get dressed and leave the moment they were done.

“Were you busy?” Castiel asked, panting. “When I entered Hell? You probably were. You’re always busy. You work even harder than Raphael used to.”

“Never too busy for you, pet,” he purred, punctuating his assurance with a saucy wiggle.

Castiel’s phone rang.

Castiel actually answered it (rather than his usual reaction to ringing phones – his or Crowley’s – when they were in bed, which was to narrow his eyes at them until their screens cracked and they leaked smoke), which meant it was Dean.

“I am needed,” he announced, rolling Crowley off him.

With a mocking salute, Crowley slithered into the warm spot his body had left. “Godspeed, mighty warrior. Try not to lose any more feathers.”

Fumbling with his tie, Castiel said, “I’m planning to give him one more. A second chance. If he doesn’t react appropriately, I’ll…”

“You’ll what?”

The tie was abandoned, flopping half-knotted against his crisp white shirt. “I’ll be back for more sex. Goodbye.”

With that, he was gone.

Under his stolen skin, Crowley curled into a smoky ball and cursed the whole world. 

0 

‘Never too busy for you,’ he’d told Castiel.

‘My door’s always open,’ he’d promised Dean.

But surely they both understood that if they were going to summon him in the middle of the working day, they would, occasionally, be interrupting something?

“Is that a kidney?” said Dean, staring at the bloody lump in Crowley’s hand.

Flustered, Crowley popped it into his mouth and swallowed it. The thought occurred, a second later, that his instinctive, perfectly normal as per demon etiquette attempt to make the situation less awkward might have been ill-advised.

“I’ll just go, shall I?” he muttered dejectedly.

Dean shook his head, sighing. “Nah. Won’t make me unsee it. But we’re not kissing.”

“Could brush my teeth? Suck on a mint?”

“No. Now get your pants off. I don’t have all day.”

Dear boy. He wasn’t always like this. Often, Crowley appeared in the circle to find him red-eyed, puffy-nosed, and at least slightly drunk, and he’d touch Crowley without saying a word all evening. Other times, he’d be wound tight, buzzing with frustration after a hunt gone wrong or a fight with Castiel or Sam. On such occasions, sex would be more like a wrestling match, Dean’s quick reflexes and pickpocket cunning pitted against Crowley’s ability to lift a car with one hand, and after they’d brutalised one another for a few hours Dean would slide off Crowley’s cock with a bone-deep groan of satisfaction and sleep like the dead. Those times tended to be Crowley’s favourites.

But this was nice, too. Brisk, rude, faux-impatient – today, Dean was in a good mood. And Dean in a good mood meant one thing and one thing only.

“Jesus fu-aaah,” Crowley exhaled, having barely slipped his 100% virgin wool trousers down his thighs before the hunter entered the circle, dropped smoothly to his knees, and latched onto the waiting erection like there was a panel of judges mere metres away and a million dollar cash prize on the line.

Dean Winchester wasn’t nearly as good at sex as he thought he was. But he always, always tried his best, and sometimes that raw enthusiasm was erotic enough all on its own.

“So,” said Dean, pulling back to study his work with that critical mechanic’s eye. “Something weird happened the other day.”

“Really? To you?”

“No, not normal Winchester-brand weird. No new apocalypses brewing, far as I’m aware. Just… y’know. Odd.”

Abruptly, he stood up, wiping his lips, and took Crowley by the arm. Sweeping the edge of his shoe through the circle, he all-but-frogmarched him across the room to the old mattress he’d set up in a corner specifically for these occasions.

(They didn’t always have sex in a grimy abandoned shed three miles from the nearest road. Sometimes they had sex in grimy abandoned cars with wheels buried in knee-deep weeds or, when Dean was feeling unusually romantic, dive bar bathrooms. Crowley didn’t care. He’d fucked Napoleon III in a haystack once.)

Absentmindedly arranging Crowley to his liking, Dean said, “Cas gave me a feather.”

Unnoticed by Dean, every microorganism within a seventy-foot radius – excepting those within his own body – died in a flash of hellfire. “Oh?”

“Yeah. And not, like, a pigeon feather or whatever. One of his. Weird, right?”

“Mm. Very.”

Dean thrust into him, business-like. “You read a lot, yeah? Probably even more than Sammy. Ever found a book that analyses – I dunno – weird angel shit? Or ancient prophecies involving angel feathers?”

Goddamn rotten bloody humiliation kink, he thought moodily, feeling his cock begin to leak. Probably done more to damage my reputation than that time Lilith caught me sneaking into David Cameron’s bedroom wearing a silk chemise and a British Lop. “Not that I can recall, no.”

Giving his arse a friendly smack, Dean said, “C’mon. You gotta know something. Or, if you don’t, you gotta have a theory. I know that nasty li’l brain of yours never stops working. Why would an angel give a human a feather?”

The deranged, beautiful monster hadn’t stopped buggering him.

Even worse, Crowley hadn’t stopped liking it.

“Alright, alright,” he groaned, fingernails surreptitiously sharpening as he dragged them over the mattress. “Stop. Lemme think for a moment. No, no, scratch that. Absolutely do not stop. Oh fuck, fuck, please don’t stop.”

“Crowley,” Dean whined, and while he’d have loved to think that he was whining in passion, he knew better.

“Look, it’s a gift, yeah? He gave you a gift. Use – fuurgh – use your brain, squirrel. Why do people usually give gifts?”

A big, calloused hand wrapped around his cock. “Birthdays. Bribes. To say thank you. To say sorry. Hey, could that be it? Has he… aw, shit, has he done something stupid behind my back? Again? And he doesn’t want to admit it but he’s feeling guilty so he’s giving me weird presents? I bet that’s it.”

Crowley wasn’t certain what language he used to say, “Jesus Christ, you’re both beyond hope,” in the seconds before he came. He was only just mentally present enough to make sure it wasn’t English.

After finishing off with a hearty grunt, Dean belly-flopped onto the mattress next to him. “Fuck yeah, man. That was great. Wonder if I can use it for something? A bona fide angel feather’s gotta have serious mojo, right?”

Facedown and breathing into the pillow, Crowley made a ‘who knows?’ gesture.

“Maybe it could be made into a weapon,” Dean murmured, gently stroking Crowley’s scalp. “There’s precedent. The First Blade was a mule’s jawbone. Or maybe I could write with it – like a quill. Heh, imagine a devil’s trap drawn with an angel’s feather. That would fuck you guys up, right?”

“Sure,” Crowley rasped, lifting his head. “Why not?”

Dean yawned. “So how’s Hell? Been about a month since we last did this, so… what’s that… about a decade down there? Had any problems? Moved the furniture around?”

“No. Hell doesn’t change much these days. Lilith was the innovator. Always installing a new lake of fire here, a new torture chamber there; slaughtering her political opponents en masse; throwing out promotions and demotions and beheadings left and right. Not my style. I prefer stability. Behind my back, they say that I’m the most boring monarch Hell’s ever had. Well, no – they say that wherever they want. When they’re behind my back, they try to stab me.”

He rolled over, wincing at a twinge in his well-used arse.

“Stability’s great and all,” Dean mumbled, sounding half-asleep. “And for real, I think it’s cool that you’ve made Hell so much less… torture-y. But y’ever think about aiming higher?”

“Eh?”

“Making Hell not suck, I mean. You know? Not just stable but actually tolerable for everyone who’s gotta live there. Now and then when I’m ganking some demon dickbag, I start thinking that maybe they wouldn’t always be causing so much trouble on Earth if they liked being in Hell more.”

Crowley laughed. Long and loud. “Where’s this coming from? Is this a Sam idea? It sounds like a Sam idea. Your bleeding-heart centrist of a brother going through another introspective phase, right? Bless.”

Scowling, Dean said, “Wow, someone’s defensive. What’s wrong? Pissed that the Boy King could run the place better than you?”

“Come off it, Dean. You don’t believe that for a second. Sam’s no leader. Much less a leader of demons. And the notion of ‘fixing’ Hell… it’s Hell. It’s not meant to be fixed. It’s not meant to be tolerable, it’s not meant to be endurable. It exists to break people. Horror is its bedrock. Sure, I can tidy up, I can replace the Gitmo vibe with the good ol’ eternal queue, but I can’t make it nice.”

“Huh. Okay, I get it,” said Dean, stretching, slyness in his eyes. “It’s not that you don’t want to – it’s that you don’t think you can. You’re not powerful enough, or smart enough, or whatever. I guess that’s fair. Surprised to hear you admit it, though.”

Like a blowfish, Crowley’s smoke puffed up to thrice its usual size, spilling from his eyes, ears, and lips as he pounced on Dean and pinned him to the mattress.

“Watch your tongue, brat,” he hissed, tail manifesting with its point aimed at Dean’s throat. “I’m not your pet pigeon. Had I the magnanimity of Saint Francis himself I’d not sit here and listen to some cunting mortal question my leadership. What in the name of God’s greasy bollocks do you know about ruling anything? You’ve never so much as managed a fucking corner shop. You’ve never even been employed.”

Dean grinned. “Damn, did I touch a nerve? Sorry, sweetcheeks.”

A canine rumble poured from Crowley’s thick throat. He felt Dean’s wrist bones creak under his grip. “Arrogant little rat.”

They glared at one another, unblinking.

“You ready to go again?” Dean asked.

“Yes.”

“Me too.”

In a violent flurry, they competed to see who could jack the other to completion first. Dean won. Dean always won.

“Same time next month?” Crowley enquired, watching him get dressed afterwards.

“Maybe. It’ll be coming up on Halloween and that’s always the worst time of year for us.”

“Mmm. Same. You’d be amazed how many false alarms we get; idiot teenagers deciding to summon a demon for fun and not actually wanting to make a deal or not letting them out of the trap afterwards. Last year, my secretary found them waiting for her with SuperSoakers full of salted holy water. Still – unless I’m busy – and, obviously, I probably will be busy – I’ll only be a phone call away if you poor lost lambs get yourselves mixed up in something you can’t handle.”

“Cool,” Dean said over his shoulder, already halfway out the door. “Catch you later.”

Crowley waited until his footsteps had faded and his scent had cleared. Then he grabbed the pillow, pressed it to his face, and screamed for forty minutes. 

(to be continued) 

[ridiculousn3sswrites]

Closer

*Thomas Jefferson x Reader

*Summary: Reader is very into one of her housemates. After a couple house parties, she finds out he’s very into her.

*Warnings: Swearing, drinking, (mentions of) weed smoking, jealousy, insecurity, smut, grinding, hickies, tiddy sucking, fingering, vaginal sex, (my attempt at) dirty talk, a lot of consent check-ins, morning after awkwardness

*A/N: I’VE FINALLY BEEN DRIVEN TO WRITE SMUT. Like, this was hard for me but I had fun writing it (this fic is 8k words oops). Also sorry if it’s not the best, I really did try.

My Ko-Fi

**********

You had two major rules for living with people: never sleep with them, and definitely never develop feelings for them. In your two years of living in the dorms you’d managed to abide by those rules, but you faced the biggest challenge to your rule the second you stopped living in the dorms. In your third year, you moved into a housing option that was a lot cheaper than the dorms or a regular apartment. The house you moved into was pretty small - only 12 people - so everyone saw a lot of each other. Cue the start of your troubles.

When you first had a video call with the other members of your house, your eyes immediately were drawn to one corner of the screen. Sure, you’d joined in the middle of a conversation so his box was highlighted, but you were sure you would have been watching his little screen anyways. You could tell he was sitting in bed - wherever he was - and he was already familiar with a few of the people in the call from the way he was chatting with them. He had a neatly trimmed beard, curls forming a halo around his face, a bright smile, and a pair of black glasses just pulling the look together, even if you didn’t really know what look that was.

When he gave his little introduction piece, you knew this would be trouble. Not only was his voice attractive, he also had a bit of a southern accent, which just doubled his attractiveness. Everyone went through their introductions, you being one of the last people because you didn’t volunteer until a lot later on. When people had the chance to ask questions, the guy - Thomas - decided to speak up. “Is that a (favorite show) poster behind you?”

You looked back at your wall like you didn’t know exactly what he was talking about. You were just surprised he pointed it out. “Oh, uh, yeah! It is!”

“Nice!” Thomas told you, giving you a bright smile. You could feel your breath catch at the sight, but you managed to smile back. As the call ended with one other person giving their introduction, you could already tell you were in trouble. You knew you couldn’t pursue anything with Thomas even if it happened that he also found you attractive. It wasn’t only that you’d be living with him, no; he was also one of the house managers, so if things ended bad, he could really make your living situation not the best. But still, there was nothing stopping you from finding him attractive.

When you moved in, you immediately ran into Thomas. You knew you were supposed to check in with Angelica so she could get you your keys, but she was helping someone else at the moment. “Hey, you’re (y/n), right?” Thomas asked, sitting at the dining room table as you just stood there waiting for Angelica.

“Y-yeah, I am,” you stuttered, silently cursing how nervous you were around him. This was your first time meeting the guy in person, and you were really going to make a fool of yourself, weren’t you. You looked back to where Angelica had disappeared upstairs, wondering just how long she would take.

“Well, I’m Thomas,” he introduced himself, standing from his seat. “I can take you on a tour of the house while you wait for Angelica if you want.”

“Uhm, sure, that’d be great!” You immediately accepted, feeling your face warm from the entire interaction. Thomas walked up next to you, nodding for you to follow him. Your parents were waiting outside for you to get your keys so they could help you move in, but since you had some time, why not?

**********

It didn’t take long for everyone to start feeling comfortable around each other. The only real issues there were in the house were arguments Thomas and Alexander would get into, but even those wouldn’t get too bad. Within a month of everyone moving in, it really started to feel like a little family. Which made your attraction to Thomas that much worse. You thought it would go away once you got to know the guy and it would fade into a friendship, but you were dead wrong. The more you got to know the guy, the harder you fell. The way he joked, the way he made sure you weren’t talked over (and if you were, he always made sure to come back to you and ask what you were going to say), almost everything about him made you realize it wasn’t just surface level attraction.

By the end of the first month, a few of your housemates - John, Alexander, and Laf - planned a little party in the living room. It was just for your house, but it really sounded like they were planning to throw a rager. You weren’t really one for parties, but it sounded like it could be fun. The fact that Thomas said he would be going had nothing to do with it.

When the day of the party came, you didn’t really know what you were going to do. You knew Thomas was going to be there, and Peggy really wanted to go, so after spending the afternoon deciding, you started getting ready for the party. You showered, pulled on a dress you saved for going out (not that you really went out in the first place), put your makeup on, and just sat there waiting for Peggy to get ready.

“This is gonna be so much fun! I saw Alex and John come in with the drinks for later and they bought so much,” Peggy gushed as she tried deciding between dresses. She finally turned to you. “Which one looks better?”

“Depends on the look you’re going for. The one on the right is definitely cute, but the one on the left is great if you’re trying to look hot,” you told her after a moment of looking at the options. She put the dress on the right back in the closet. Once she actually knew what she wanted to wear, she quickly got ready. As she was getting ready, there was a pounding on the door. Peggy went to go look, but whoever had done that was already gone. You already knew you were running a bit late, but who ever really showed up to parties on time?

The music wasn’t too loud when you and Peggy got to the living room half an hour after the party was supposed to start. The lights were off, save for one of those multi-color party lights, balloons were all over the floor, and some colorful YouTube video was playing on the TV. Alex and John were already drinking, quickly pulling Peggy to the booze table to make her something. Herc and Laf were sitting on one of the couches, just chatting, and Thomas was hanging near the pool table, talking to Maria. Maria looked gorgeous, red satin slip dress hugging her figure and sheer thigh-high stockings creating an image you could only hope to compete with. You left the living room, going to get yourself some water from the kitchen.

Just going across the hall was a huge difference. Aaron was sitting at the table, laptop in front of him as he worked on something. Angelica and Eliza were in the kitchen, making something that you were definitely going to try later. “Do you know what they’re making in there?” You asked Aaron as you filled your cup.

“No idea, but I know I’m going to have to clean it afterwards,” Aaron complained, looking up from his work. “You look nice.”

“Thanks. Are you going?” You nodded your head towards the living room.

“No, I have work to do tonight. Have fun, though.” To be honest, that was probably the longest conversation you’d had with Aaron. He normally kept to himself, except when he was dragged into hangouts with the house by other people. You took your cup of water and went back to the living room, seeing Peggy, John, and Alex huddled around Alex’s phone as they put more songs in the queue. Thomas was drinking something from a mason jar, though in the dim light you really couldn’t see what it was.

“Hey, (y/n), you look cute,” Thomas said as he walked up to you. You immediately looked down at your cup and mumbled a thank you. There was just something about being called cute that hit different, especially when it comes from someone you were very attracted to. “Do you want something to drink?”

“I’m good, I’m playing adult tonight,” you told him, holding up your cup a little. You finally looked at Thomas, the colored lights casting a mix of reds and blues on his skin. He was wearing a button up shirt, different from the t-shirts and tanks you’d seen him in before. When you looked a little further down, you saw he was wearing basketball shorts. That would just make it easier to- you stopped the thought there. You didn’t know where it came from, you couldn’t even blame any alcohol in your system. Instead, you blamed it on the colored lights in the dark room, creating an almost intimate atmosphere.

“Thank you. Would you mind cutting John off when he starts getting a little, you know?” You nodded. You did know. John was a bit of a sloppy drunk, but he hated when anyone pointed it out. That’s why every drinking night needed a designated adult. Thomas took another drink before nodding to the empty couch. “You wanna sit? No one’s really dancing yet.”

You nodded again, following Thomas to the couch. Even when the music picked up, only a few people were really dancing. Thomas got up a few times to refill his cup, but he never really left your side. The two of you talked through the night, and you found yourselves getting closer as the night went on. His attention was entirely on you, even brushing off Maria when she tried to pull him to dance. There were a few songs where you actually wanted to dance, and Thomas practically jumped at the chance to dance with you. Eventually the music changed to slower stuff, and you went back to sitting down with Thomas.

You really tried to stop your mind from racing at the proximity, but you couldn’t help it. As the two of you talked, the lights still dancing across his skin, you could see yourself closing the small gap, kissing him. Every now and then he’d brush his fingertips across your skin, but you couldn’t tell if it was intentional or not. Your skin burned with the slight brushes. Your mind ran to what his touch would feel like if it was more purposeful, how his skin would feel under your fingers. When he leaned forward, brushing some hair from your face, you wondered if he would always be this gentle.

Thomas was mid-sentence when it finally became too much. You took the chance, leaning in and pressing a questioning kiss to his lips. He tensed, and you immediately went to pull back. When he realized what you were doing, he brought his hand up to the back of your head, holding your face to his. The kiss started gentle, but it got more insistent as it went on. You could feel the party around you just melt away as the two of you kissed, your hands feeling his arms as you let yourself fall victim to your wants. You couldn’t tell if the kiss had lasted for minutes or hours, but you knew you must’ve looked a mess.

“Do you want to come up to my room?” Thomas asked, breathless and low enough for just you to hear. You nodded, and Thomas immediately stood, leading you by the hand. You could hear John’s drunken cheers as you and Thomas went up the stairs. His room wasn’t far from the stairs, and it didn’t take long for you to end up in his bed. His body lightly pinned yours on the bed, one of his thighs between yours. Thomas broke the kiss, only to trail kisses down your neck as his hands ran up and down your body.

“Thomas, please,” you said, not really sure what you were asking for.

“I know, Sugar.” You could feel his smirk against your skin. “I want you too.”

“I think I’m going to call it a night,” Thomas said, standing up. You were shocked at his sudden announcement. It wasn’t even just to you, he announced it to the whole party. He gave you a small smile before turning to leave the room. Just before he left, he turned around once more. “Reminder that quiet hours start in an hour, adjust the music accordingly.”

As soon as Thomas left, you could feel your social battery dying. You should’ve known better than to allow yourself to fantasize about what could’ve happened that night, just because he was paying attention to you. It didn’t take long for you to call it a night after that, just feeling exhaustion that wasn’t there before as you took off your makeup and changed into some sleep clothes. As you laid in bed, waiting for sleep to come to you, you couldn’t help as your mind replayed the night and your fantasies. The last thought you had was of the way Thomas looked in the colored lights, and the phantom feeling of his lips on yours, even though you never actually felt them.

**********

In the week following the party, you and Thomas went back to just how you were before. You were a little disappointed, but your mind immediately went to justifying the change. Or rather, lack of change. He’d been drinking a bit. He knew you felt out of place with all the drinking and weed smoking going on. He probably wanted to make sure you were feeling okay since you’d had a few conversations about how quickly your social battery died. There were all of these possibilities, but nothing was ever confirmed. So you just went back to how things were.

Then Laf planted a seed in your mind. It was delivery time - that time of night when everyone’s packages got delivered and people would either grab their packages and open them in their room, or open them in the dining room in front of everyone else. You’d just ordered a cute romper in an attempt to feel something, so you opened it in front of the rest of the group. “That’s so cute! You know, it seems like something the type of girl Thomas goes after would wear,” Laf announced when you held up the romper.

“What are you talking about?” James asked as he opened his own package, not even looking up. It was some lights for the little garden he was starting in his room. Maria was very invested in the new shoes she’d ordered, but you could tell she was still listening.

“They’d be cute together! You guys should go on a date, I’ll set it up,” Laf continued, focusing his attention on you now. “I ship them! They’re my new ship!”

“What’s going on?” Thomas asked, coming out from the kitchen. You looked down, folding the romper as fast as you could.

“Nothing,” Laf said. You looked up just in time to see Laf wink at you.

“Alright.” You could tell Thomas didn’t believe him by the side-eye he was giving him, but you were glad Laf didn’t announce it any louder than he already did. When you and Peggy got back to your room, you couldn’t help but tell her about the seed Laf had planted. Sure, you found Thomas very attractive, but the concept of a relationship with him had never entered your mind. Until now. Of course Peggy just made fun of you, but you knew it was all in good fun.

It took two days for that seed to be completely destroyed. You started to notice Thomas and Maria hanging out a lot more than they did before; they were almost constantly talking to each other, and there was once that you went upstairs to use the bathroom and saw Maria leaving Thomas’s room. You were in the living room watching a movie with the Schuylers when Thomas came in. “Hey, Maria and I want to watch something after, can you text me when you’re done?” Thomas asked Angelica, not even acknowledging anyone else.

“Yeah, sure,” Angelica told him. With that, he left the living room.

“Your boyfriend’s cheating on you,” Peggy teased, not loud enough that anyone else could hear her.

“Can we not do this right now?” You whispered, already feeling your chest tighten. Of course you should’ve known. People like Thomas never went for people like you, they would always end up with people like Maria. Why would you let Laf even give you the slightest bit of hope that things would be different? Peggy’s face immediately fell when she saw just how you looked.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, but you just shook your head. Why was she sorry? It wasn’t her fault. This was just on you.

For the next week, you avoided Thomas and Maria as much as you could. You took your dinners to your room to just eat and watch (favorite show), you didn’t really talk to them if you were in the same room as them, you didn’t go out of your way to hang out with them. If they noticed, they never said anything to you. Then again, it wasn’t really like you gave them the chance to.

**********

You wanted to keep your distance from your housemates, but John pulled you into agreeing to go to yet another house party. It would just be for your house again, but this time he’d managed to get everyone to agree to come. He didn’t even let you be late, grabbing you and Peggy from your room as soon as the party started. So there you were, standing by the pool table, sipping some drink that was way too strong (Aaron was designated adult this time), just watching the party around you. Maria was already there, wearing yet another dress that made her look absolutely gorgeous, but Thomas was nowhere to be seen. 

“James, where’s your friend?” John practically yelled over the pounding music.

“He’s coming, don’t worry,” James said, rolling his eyes. You tensed at the confirmation, even though you knew he was going to be there. Before you could really think about it, Laf pulled you onto the dancefloor. Laf and Herc made sure that you were enjoying yourself, dancing with them and making sure you didn’t have the chance to think about it too much. Laf knew everything that was going on, trying to tell you that he was sorry about the entire ‘shipping’ thing. You just waved it off, not wanting to let it ruin the fun you were having.

You don’t know how many songs you danced with them before you needed to take a break and get some water. They finally let you out of their sights as soon as you promised to come back the second you were done. You appreciated their concern for you, but it was starting to get a little stifling. As you stood by the sink, glass stained with the red of your lipstick, you let your mind wander once again. You had been too busy dancing to pay attention to the party around you, but you guess Thomas must’ve arrived at some point. Had he been dancing with Maria? Did he even care you were there?

It was like the universe took your questioning as manifestations, and you wondered why it didn’t do that for literally anything else you tried manifesting as Thomas walked into the room. “I thought I saw you leave. You look really cute.”

You looked down at your outfit, taking in the romper that you’d bought not too long ago - a button down with a thick belt at the waist. You tried to ignore the way your heart fluttered at that, tried to remember the past few weeks where Thomas was completely focused on Maria, but your heart seemed to not get the message. “You know, you never compliment me outside of parties,” you decided to address the situation head on. “Is Maria waiting for you?”

“What?�� Thomas seemed like he genuinely had no idea what was going on. You narrowed your eyes at him.

“I mean, the two of you have been spending a ton of time together, I’d expect you’d come to the party together,” you almost snapped.

“What about Laf and Herc? You seemed pretty close to them tonight,” Thomas immediately argued. You should’ve known he wouldn’t just let you snap at him without biting back.

“They’re just making sure I have a good time. Like you did last time,” you said, taking a deep breath. “I’m gonna go back.”

You heard Thomas say your name as you went back to the living room, but you kept walking. When you got back, Laf and Herc were immediately by your side. You gave them a soft smile, which they quickly returned. It didn’t take long for exhaustion to start to set in, your legs starting to hurt and your eyes starting to tire. You sat down in the corner of the couch, watching the party continue around you. It didn’t take long for Thomas to take the spot next to you. “I’m sorry.”

You just looked at him, waiting for him to continue. “Maria needed help with her statistics class and we’ve been spending time together because of that. I didn’t realize you’d take it the wrong way.”

“I’m so stupid.” Thomas looked confused. “I should be the one apologizing. I just kind of decided you didn’t like me.”

Thomas scooted closer, taking your hand in his. “Yeah, I kind of realized that. I really do like you, though.”

“Cool,” you said, not knowing how to really react in this situation. Thomas laughed, shaking his head as you felt the heat rise in your face. “I… uhm… I’m kinda feeling tired. I think I’m gonna head to bed.”

Thomas looked dejected before understanding crossed his features. “Your social battery?”

You nodded. “Yeah. Is it even midnight?”

Thomas checked his phone. “Just about. Do you want to come to my room?”

You stared at him blankly, your heart racing at the question. It was almost exactly like your fantasy at the last party, not that he’d know it. He had to know how that sounded, right? It seemed to take him a second to realize it, eyes widening. “I mean, just to hang out somewhere calm. I want to spend more time with you.”

“And what’s wrong with my room? People will notice if I go upstairs instead of just down the hall,” you argued, leaning closer to him.

“I know you have a bunk and I don’t want to sit on Peggy’s bed.”

“You could sit at my desk.”

“Under your bunk? That kind of defeats the purpose of hanging out.” Thomas rolled his eyes at your obvious deflection. You were just giving him a hard time at this point, still a little vindictive even if the only real issue over the past few weeks had been because of you.

“Alright, but don’t be surprised if I end up just passing out,” you agreed. Thomas gave you a blinding smile. “How are we gonna do this? If we leave together people are gonna talk.”

“Let them,” Thomas said, standing up and offering his hand to you. You took it.

Amazingly, no one seemed to notice the two of you leaving except for Aaron who shot you a pained look. You felt kind of bad for leaving him alone to everyone else, but your social battery really was dying and Thomas was offering an escape. He lead you up the stairs, down the hall a little to his room. The door was already slightly open - just so he wouldn’t have to carry around his key - but he opened the door further to let you in first. It was your first time seeing Thomas’s room, and it really fit him. He had a few pictures on the wall above his desk, the desk itself was neatly organized - textbooks stacked on one side, laptop in the center, a few pencils next to it. His bed was pushed to the corner near his desk, black comforter and deep magenta pillowcases different from the typical college dude bedding.

“You can sit down if you want,” Thomas said, walking over to his closet. He grabbed a t-shirt from one of the drawers. “I’m just gonna go change my shirt, you can sit on the bed or the chair, whatever you’re more comfortable with.”

Thomas left the room, and you decided to sit on the bed, still unsure of what you were doing. Your fantasy from the last party kept replaying in your mind, reminding you of just how different these circumstances were. You pressed a couple fingers to your wrist, feeling your racing pulse. You didn’t know why you were so nervous. You were pretty sure nothing was going to happen, but the images of Thomas kissing you, him touching you, it made your mind go crazy. Before you could talk yourself out of it, Thomas came back. “So, uh, what do you wanna do? We could listen to some music, or watch a movie…”

“Can we just listen to some music? Like, something softer though,” you said. Just listening to music seemed less intimate than watching a movie on his laptop with him, even though you really didn’t know why. Thomas nodded, turning on his speaker on his desk. He handed you his phone.

“You can choose,” he told you, sitting on the bed next to you. He pressed his back against the wall, watching you as you shared one of your playlists to his phone. Even though you could feel him watching, you missed the way his eyes took in your profile in the harsh light of his room. “Do you mind if I switch off the main light and turn on my desk light instead?”

“You know, this is sounding more and more sus as you keep talking,” you told him as your music started playing from his speaker. You turned the volume down a little, letting the music be just loud enough to provide some background noise. It was just what you needed to recharge. “But yeah, the ceiling lights are really harsh.”

Thomas got up to fix the lighting situation before taking his spot next to you once again. The two of you just sat there quietly, close but not quite touching, letting the soft sounds of your music wash over you. A few songs passed before you decided to just make your move, scooting closer to him to rest your head on his shoulder. You were still pretty drained from the party, and the excuse was ready if he was going to question you. He didn’t.

When he brought his hand up to play with your hair, you didn’t say anything. You enjoyed the gentle brush of his hand, almost as if he was afraid to disturb you. You closed your eyes, focusing on his touch. He started near your hairline, his fingers tracing a curve behind your ear, whispering down your jawline for a second before repeating the process. Time wasn’t real in your little bubble, the only clue being the songs changing in the background. “(Y/n)?” Thomas asked, voice low like he was trying not to break the atmosphere.

You hummed in response, eyes still closed, and you could feel Thomas’s soft laughter more than you could hear it. “I thought you fell asleep.”

“If you keep playing with my hair I just might,” you teased, smiling as you opened your eyes to look up at him. You were slightly taken aback at the way he looked at you, but you tried not to show it. It took you a second before you could finally place it - adoration. It was completely soft, something you never really saw on him before. You could see him leaning in, but he stopped a hairsbreadth away. You waited to see if he would close the miniscule gap or if you should, but then he spoke.

“Can I?” He practically whispered, bringing his hand up to caress your jaw. You nodded even as your heart pounded in your chest. Thomas stayed for a second as though he was giving you a chance to back out, and when you didn’t take it, he closed the gap. The kiss started out gentle, like he was still worried you would change your mind. You were enjoying yourself and the slow pace, but when your mind started taunting you with the things that could happen, you decided to take a chance. You brushed the tip of your tongue against his bottom lip, and he gladly took your sign to deepen the kiss.

Thomas kept one hand cupping your jaw, but the other moved to rest on your hip. The feeling of his hand sent a jolt through you, even through the layer of clothing still separating his skin from yours. You put a hand on the bed to reposition yourself, but Thomas pulled you onto his lap, your core resting on him. You let out a small gasp at the sudden move. Thomas pressed a kiss to your jaw. “Is this okay?” He mumbled against your skin.

“Y-yeah. Yeah, it’s good.” You were a little flustered at the position, but you definitely weren’t complaining. Thomas grasped your chin, tilting your face to look directly in your eyes. Your gaze darted down to his lips, trying to look anywhere but his eyes. You could tell he was studying you, your reactions. He brushed his thumb against your bottom lip, dragging it down just slightly.

“You’re so damn cute,” he murmured before kissing you breathless. Your hands went up to cup his jaw, holding him to you, while his settled on your waist. You went to adjust your position, accidentally grinding against him. Thomas let out the most sinful groan, breaking the kiss to rest his head on your shoulder. “I’m sorry, it just felt so-”

He was cut off by another groan as you grinded against him again. You bit your lip, feeling him harden underneath you. “Don’t apologize.”

Thomas brought you back down for another kiss, his hand on your hip now guiding your movements against him. You softly whined into the kiss, every sensation heightened by the dim room, the soft music. He broke the kiss, laughing slightly as you tried to chase his lips. Before you could say anything, he started kissing down your neck, nipping and soothing the spots with his tongue. As he worked, you started grinding against him faster, needing something to ease the heat pooling in you.

“I need you so bad,” you whined as he worked a spot on your collarbone. Thomas let go of your skin with a wet noise, looking up at you with hooded eyes.

“You sound so pretty when you’re needy,” Thomas said, smirking up at you. He brought his hands up to the buttons of your romper, the question evident in his eyes. You nodded, and he started slowly undoing your romper, pressing a kiss to each inch of skin revealed to him. “You’re gorgeous, Sugar.”

A shiver ran through you at his words, but you ignored it, instead opting to reach for the hem of his t-shirt. “What’s fair’s fair?”

“Of course.” Thomas took the chance to flip your positions, taking off his shirt as your back bounced slightly against the bed. You couldn’t help your sharp inhale as his shirt hit the floor. You knew he was built from what you saw around the house, but seeing him without any barriers was a completely different situation. His abs were solid, something you saw briefly the one time he lifted his shirt to clean his glasses in front of you, so you took the chance to drink in the sight. As your eyes trailed back up his body, he saw him looking down at you with a smirk. He was attractive and he knew it.

He was getting a little too smug for your liking. You wouldn’t normally consider yourself a bold person, but your next move definitely was. You slightly lifted yourself up, undoing your belt and smoothly sliding it off. You pushed the top of the romper off your shoulders, taking a quick glance to see Thomas’s attention completely on you. His smirk had fallen, but his bottom lip was caught between his teeth. You reached behind you, unhooking your bra in one movement (a silent victory on your part). Thomas eased himself down beside you, trying to hide his eagerness, but you could see it in his eyes. The second you tossed your bra to the side, Thomas was back on you, kissing you deeply as his hands explored your chest.

Whatever upperhand you had was gone as Thomas’s thumb ran back and forth over your nipple, drawing a keening whine from the back of your throat. You could feel his smirk as his lips left yours, kissing down your neck again. He nipped at your collarbone, licking at the spot before trailing his tongue across the tops of your breasts. Your hand flew up to hold the back of his head, needing to feel more of his mouth on you.

“You’re so responsive for me, Sugar,” Thomas hummed. “The way your body just acts on its own, the little noises you make for me, it’s intoxicating. All I’ve done is kiss you, we haven’t even gotten to the fun part yet.”

“Do you get off on the sound of your own voice?” You asked, gasping as his hand kneaded your breast. His movements were lazy, like he was ready to just have a conversation about this while teasing you to the point of madness.

“No, but I can tell you do.” He wasn’t wrong, but he didn’t need to point it out like that. Your silence spoke volumes. He decided to take pity on you, kissing and sucking on the breast he wasn’t kneading. Thomas’s first licks across your nipple were teasing, watching your reactions. You knew you couldn’t be loud - you couldn’t even step in the house without someone hearing you - but the electricity running through you at his touch was making that insanely difficult for you. When he used just the right amount of teeth, even you were surprised at the moan you let out.

Thomas didn’t make any move to quiet you, instead switching over to the other breast. You didn’t know what to do with your hands, switching between holding him to your breast and fisting your hand in the blanket beside you. You tried pressing your thighs together, but Thomas’s body on yours made that almost impossible. He grinded down on you, letting out his own little groan at the slight relief the pressure offered. Thomas brought one of his hands to your waist, teasing at where your romper was still on your body. You whined when his mouth left your skin, not that you’d admit to it. “Can I take this off?”

“Yes, please,” you told him. Thomas sat up, watching you for any signs of discomfort as he fully took your romper off. As he went to shed his own shorts, you leaned back on your elbows, watching. Even though his basketball shorts had already done little to conceal his arousal, seeing the tent in his boxers sent another rush of arousal through you. You spread your legs for Thomas to take his rightful spot between them, which he quickly did. He brought his hand to your core, running his fingers over the fabric there.

“Fuck, you’re soaked,” Thomas groaned, rubbing a little harder. “This all because of me?”

“You know it is,” you tried snipping, but his thumb finding your clit through your panties made it sound more like a plead for something. “Thomas, please touch me.”

“I am touching you,” he teased. “You want more already?”

You nodded. It was almost comical how fast your panties came off, but feeling his fingers against your lips quickly threw any humor you found in the situation out the window. He ran a finger along your slit, watching as you threw your head back against his pillows. You didn’t see the smirk that graced his lips again, watching the way you quickly fell apart under his touch. He hadn’t even done that much, but he wanted to see what’d you do when he actually took you apart.

The wetness between your legs glistened even in the dim light, and Thomas unknowingly licked his lips. There would be time to taste you later - he had the feeling if he went now, he’d be there all night. He dipped his finger into your entrance, teasing like he had been all night. You let out a soft whimper, half ready to beg, but then he gave you what you needed. He carefully inserted his finger into you, feeling around for your spot while his thumb worked your clit. Your soft noises were driving him crazy; even though they weren’t loud, they were mesmerizing, and he wondered how you’d sound if you didn’t have to worry about being overheard.

As he pumped his finger in you, he made sure to drag it along your wall, dragging out every little whimper he could. You tried to close your thighs on his hand, but he held them open with his free hand. Thomas wanted to see what he was doing to you, see your arousal glistening on his finger. Once he was sure you were ready, he slid another finger into you, drawing your loudest moan yet at the stretch. He curled his fingers, sending a shock of pleasure through you. He smiled when he felt you shudder, knowing he found it.

Thomas’s attention on your clit and the pressure on your spot was bringing you to your edge and fast. Your fisted hand in his sheet was pulling it down, your other hand trying to muffle the noises you were making. You weren’t normally so vocal in bed, but the way Thomas was playing your body just brought out this side that you never knew about. “I’m close,” you panted out the warning.

“Then cum for me, Sugar. Cum on my fingers.” It wasn’t an order, but your body listened to him like it was. You bit into your arm to hide your moans, and you swore you were close to breaking skin. Thomas worked you through it, his fingers slowing considerably but not quite stopping until the last shudder wracked through your body. He pulled his fingers out, looking at them covered in your juices. “Look at that, Sugar. You got me all messy.”

Before you even had the chance to be embarrassed, Thomas took his fingers in his mouth, making sure to completely clean them of your essence. You thought he couldn’t get more attractive, but the blissed out look on his face as he tasted you proved you wrong. You let out a soft whisper of ‘fuck’ at the sight. Your body was weak from your orgasm, but that didn’t stop you from sitting up so you could kiss him properly. You pulled back from the kiss, holding his face in your hands. “Thomas… do you want to?”

“Yeah, if you’re okay with it,” Thomas said, bringing one of his hands to cover yours. You rolled your eyes.

“I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t,” you sassed. You let out a shriek as Thomas pinned you back down to the bed.

“You’re so annoying.” Thomas kissed you, grinding his still-covered erection into you for a second before he got back up to dig in his desk drawer. He emerged a few seconds later, condom in hand. “Perks of being a manager.”

“Aren’t those supposed to be if we need them, not your personal use?” you decided to tease him.

“Technically this is you needing them,” Thomas laughed as he pulled down his boxers. His length stood proudly, precum beading at the tip. He stroked himself, watching you squirm on his bed. You could feel your body growing hot at his intense gaze, slight embarrassment making you want to cover up, but heavy arousal beat that out. You couldn’t pull your eyes away from his hand on his dick, his thumb rubbing the head, smearing the precum. After what felt like ages of the agonizing tease, Thomas finally rolled the condom on.

Thomas climbed back over you, caging you in between his arms. He dipped his head, catching your lips in a kiss that was softer than any of the ones you’d shared before. When he broke the kiss, he only separated a breath away. “Are you ready?”

“Please, Thomas, I need to feel you.” Thomas slowly dragged one hand down your body, reaching between the two of you to line up with your entrance.

“Tell me if you need me to do anything,” he said before finally sliding into you. You whined at the stretch, just bordering on the right side of uncomfortable. Thomas kissed you as he stayed still, waiting for you to get used to his size. After a second, you rolled your hips, needing him to move. Thomas picked up on your movement, giving a testing thrust. “Fuck, you feel so good.”

“Please, Thomas, move.” Thomas nodded, keeping his pace slow, but still hitting every spot that had you crying out for him. You tried to cover your mouth to muffle your noises, but Thomas stopped you, instead threading his fingers with yours and holding your hand to the bed. He kissed at your neck, and you could tell he was leaving marks, but you really didn’t care. The feeling of him inside you was driving you wild, but you needed him to move faster. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer.

“What is it, baby? You want me to move faster? But I like feeling you around me, gripping my dick so nice,” Thomas panted into your ear. Even though he was teasing, he still sped up his movements. You knew you were talking, but you didn’t really know what you were saying. The only thing you really registered was a stream of curse words and pleads for more, even though you really didn’t know what more you were asking for.

You could feel the heat pooling in you, so close but not quite there. You choked out a warning, your walls squeezing around him. His thrusts were getting faster and sloppier, just hinting that Thomas was nearing his end. “C’mon, baby, just a little longer. I’m almost there too,” Thomas panted into your ear, pressing his face into your neck.

You scratched your nails down his back, working your hips against his as you tried to reach your peak. Thomas nudged the side of your face, bringing his lips to yours. He brought a hand down between your bodies, feeling blindly for a second before finding your clit. You moaned into the kiss, unable to control it any longer. You broke the kiss, moans filling the room as Thomas worked you through it. Thomas followed soon after, unrestrained groans mingling with your own noises. He pumped into you a few more times before easing himself out of you, laying down next to you.

You laid there, letting the pleasant soreness settle in your body. You looked over at Thomas as he threw out the condom before sitting up and looking around for your romper. You saw it crumpled near the foot of his bed, and as you were pulling it on, you couldn’t help but make a little quip. “So that was fun.”

“Yeah, it really wa- why are you getting dressed?”

“Because I need to go back downstairs?”

“Stay with me,” he said, climbing back in bed beside you and wrapping his arms around you. “I”ll get you a shirt, you can go clean up in the bathroom, we can stay and cuddle…”

You had to admit, that all sounded very tempting. Then again, you had to think about the walk of shame you’d be doing. Either you could do it now when it wasn’t likely anyone was awake still, or you could do it in the morning before anyone else was up. Thomas pressed a kiss to your neck. “Alright, I guess I can stay.”

He gave you a bright smile before hopping up off the bed again. He grabbed his boxers from the floor and pulled them on before going to grab you a shirt. Once the shirt was on, you checked the hallway and bolted to the bathroom to clean up. By the time you got back to Thomas’s room, the music was off, and Thomas was in bed, scrolling on his phone. He looked over at you, the same bright smile on his face again.

“Hey,” you said, suddenly feeling shy. You’d just slept with the guy, and you were wearing his shirt, but now you didn’t know what to say. 

“Hey.” He put his phone down on the desk before pulling his legs in so you could climb in next to him. Once you were in bed, you sat there, trying to figure out what to do. He wrapped his arm around your middle, pulling you into him. You took a deep breath, letting yourself relax into his hold. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “Stop worrying so much, go to sleep.”

You couldn’t help but listen to him.

**********

The first thing you registered was the fact that you were not in your bed. You knew the sheets felt different, your stuffed bear was not next to you, and there was definitely someone sleeping right beside you. It took a second for your half-asleep mind to piece together what had happened the night before, but once it did, you couldn’t help the word that slipped from your lips. “Fuck.”

“We already did that, Sugar,” Thomas mumbled from beside you, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you close to him. He nuzzled into your neck, and you’d be lying if you said that didn’t make you melt.

“Thomas,” you trailed off, not knowing what you were supposed to say. You lived with this guy, and would for at least 7 more months. Not only did you live with this guy, he was a manager for the house you lived in. That broke some of the most major rules you had for not only living with other people, but dating in general. Wait, were you even dating now?

“Shush, it’s still before noon. We have some more time.” You didn’t know what exactly he meant by that, but you let yourself relax into his hold. You should probably have this conversation with him when he wasn’t half asleep.

You stayed in bed with him for another hour before you finally went down to your own room. You waited for the hallway to go completely quiet and made your way down the stairs, only to see Peggy, Alex, and John sitting at the dinner table. “Look who finally made her appearance. So, how was Thomas?” John asked, a sly smile on his face.

“I just ended up passing out in his room after the party,” you tried lying, not meeting any of their eyes.

“So that’s why you’re wearing his shirt?” Peggy jumped in. Before you could even try to defend yourself with more lies, Alex spoke.

“The walls here are way too thin to try lying about things like that.”

[pearl-blue-musings]

Hi, yes, um..

May I please have a steak mediun well with some fries and broccoli? I know this is odd but can you douse my steak in some Soy Sauce? (Sero?)

Oh yes yes yes I can in this house we love soy sauce on our steak

I’m sorry it’s not as long as some of the other requests

Pairing: Sero Hanta x fem!reader let’s smoke and forget our feelings unless??

Warnings: drug use, fluff, angst, mentions of blood, mentions of death, some bad use of Spanish endearment (my sky, my sweetheart, my love, my heart) 

Enjoy your meal~

~~~~~~~~~

The last few years of your life seemed to pass by quickly. You hadn’t thought that college would have the major impact on your way of being until it was almost over and you were thinking of your future. Rather, who would potentially be there with you in your future.

Shutting down your laptop, you stretch your arms above your head and pick up your phone.  Your senior thesis was finally done and you had emailed it to your professor, and you grunt at the task being done. A project that had taken you months was finally completed and you’reone step closer to graduating. You spot a text message from your best friend and one person you figured would be in your future. Sero Hanta has been in your life for as long as you could remember, but you didn’t become close with him until you began university. The lanky boy, no man, had weaved his way in and out of your life for years and now it seems that he might be tying up the strings.  

His text, as per usual on Sundays, asked if you were free to chill and light up. You smiled and responded eagerly, knowing that this is for sure the thing you need to relax after all your hard work. The phone buzzes with a confirmation from Sero and you begin to get ready to leave. Most of the time, you end up staying the night so you pack an overnight bag and your laptop, incase you have to do any correspondence.

The drive to Sero’s apartment is short but enjoyable. The weather outside starts to shift from winter to spring, flowers blooming and the sound of buzzing insects has returned. You really do love U.A. university in the spring, you’re upset you graduate in a few weeks so you’ll have to enjoy it as much as you can while you’re here. Although certain parts of your future are set, you can’t help if you’ll be lonely in your post college endeavors.

Once you’ve parked your car, you walk up to the already unlocked apartment, up two flights of stairs and the third one to your left. You know everything about his space and his roommates, but it seems to be just him in the apartment as his friends all have other plans.

You don’t have to make yourself known as you enter, already slipping on your special house slippers. With your bag in tow, you head straight for Sero’s room. Upon opening the door, you see he’s spread and rearranged things to accommodate his three-person hammock.  He usually does this when it’s just the two of you smoking, making it more intimate. The setting sun outside lights the room with a special glow, adding to the ambiance of the young man’s room.

“Mi dulzara, how are you? Finished your thesis right?”

You fight the heat coming to your cheeks at the term of endearment and slowly nod. Sero cheekily smiles at you and finishes rolling the joint you’re no doubt going to share. “I got this from Shinsou and Denki, so you know it’s the good shit, bebe.”

You can’t help but chuckle at his expression. You also do your best to ignore the way his hands look working the drug into the paper and how his fingers flit with the collar of his shirt. You slap your cheeks in attempt to stop your mind from wandering. He’s your friend, your best friend and you shouldn’t think of him in any other capacity. And besides, he for sure doesn’t have feelings for you. Nope, not at all.

You don’t realize that his eyes never left your visage, doing his best to keep his giggles to himself as he notices you slap yourself. He shakes his head and slides into the hammock. Arms open wide, he waits for you to catch him in his impatient pose.

“Stop overthinking and come here, that’s what you’re here for, mi cielito.” You turn yourself toward him and grin at him and his childish antics. Sero always knew how to take you out of your mind. You make your way to the hammock and sit yourself down, adjusting to the weight distribution of it. Once comfortable, you inch closer to Sero’s body and lean into his chest. His arms secure themselves around you possessively. You feel him breathe deeply and that action itself is almost enough to lull you to sleep.

His arms adjust slightly so he can reach the lighter on the window sill to light the joint in his teeth. For better access he lets the lighter fall near his lap so he doesn’t have to reach too far and disturb you too much. The way you fit so well in his arms, how comfortable he is around you to be himself, to truly be himself is a feeling he isn’t willing to give up any time soon. Sero is aware you have job offers lined up after you two graduate and he doesn’t want to hold you back but… He’d be an idiot to at least not try to make things work out. And now that your life has calmed down slightly, he thinks he’ll finally tell you.

Sero passes you the joint after he feels the smoke enter his lungs, good feelings happening all over. Once you take it, you inhale deeply wanting to feel the immediate effects in order to really relax. When you exhale, you hand the joint back to the man you’re cuddling and play with his fingers hovering near your face. His fingers always felt nice, and so did his palms. Sometimes you two would hold hands but it never went beyond that. Is that what you wanted? Is that what he wanted?

“(Y/n), cielo, what’s on your mind?”

You feel his breathe skate across your nose, almost forgetting how close you two were. The hand you’re holding grabs yours and rubs comforting circles on the back of it. You sigh and ease more into his touch. “The future.”

“A scary place.”

“But does it have to be?” You turn up to face him and the way the sun is hitting him makes the man in front of you look ethereal. Almost like he doesn’t belong to this plane of being. You’re struck dumb for a couple seconds as you’re caught in his gaze. You hadn’t realized your breath had gotten shallower until his face is inches from yours in concern.

“Are you okay? Anything I can help with, well other than sharing my hard earned weed with you?” That makes you laugh. Just being able to make you laugh with your mind full is rewarding. Knowing that he’s the one making you feel better increases his heartbeat. The way your eyes look right now, the lights in his room, the soft music playing, he’s starting to realize that this is the moment, his moment. He scavenges for the lighter, and goes for another hit.

When he releases the smoke away from you he pulls you close. You start to clear your throat to formulate the right words. “Hanta, I’m scared.” You see his gaze shift to one of confusion. “I’m scared, of this ending.”

He passes you the still lit joint and waits for you the breathe in before responding. “You mean our friendship? I’ll always be your friend, (Y/n). You know that.”

You shake your head. “No, not that…” you trail off, feeling more and more embarrassed, “I mean, when we leave here we won’t be near each other.” You want to hide your face but since you’re in a hammock, you bury your face in his chest.

“Mi amor.” His voice is low as he puts the lighter and joint on the window sill. He takes your chin in his thumb and forefinger, forcing you to look at him. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here.”

The tip of his thumb barely traces your bottom lip. Maybe it’s the drugs but you want to blurt out what’s on your mind right now.

“I love you, don’t you know? You’re the only one I can and want to do this with.”

You weren’t expecting him to cut you off. “What?” you breathe out. There’s no way he does, right? This has to be a mistake. It’s the drugs, yeah that’s it. “Hanta, it’s the drugs you don’t mean that.”

Sero leans in slowly, his lips grazing yours and the feel of his breath across your lips sends shivers up your spine. “Yes I do, corazon. I’ve loved you for so long.” He closes the distance and kisses you, tongue exploring yours. You kiss him back in earnest, reveling in the feeling of his lips on yours. You breakaway to breathe and all you can see and feel is Hanta.

His hand rests on your hip comfortably as you two just stare at each other. Finding your voice, you declare, “I love you too Hanta. I’m not sure how long though.”

He chuckles and kisses the edge of your mouth, “the amount of time doesn’t matter, mi amor. I just know that I want to be around you all the time. Wherever you go, I go.” He tangles your legs together as you snuggle back into him, his head on top of yours.

“You’re stuck with me. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You’re stuck with me. I’m not going anywhere.”

Those words repeated like a mantra in your head as you lay on the ground. The spring rain and bellowing of sirens blares around you, making your thoughts and head more clouded. What had happened? What was going on? Why can’t your body move? Your eyes drag to the puddle next to you mixed with rain water and something else. Blood?

Oh right.

You’re dying.

That’s right.

Suddenly it hurts to breathe as you cough up blood. Words of people around you blur as you look for anything, anyone, familiar in this cloud of strangeness. What had you been doing? 

Oh right.

Picking up food for you and Hanta for the week.

You had been promoted and he had a surprise in store for you on your way back home. Has he texted you or called? You’re not sure as you can’t feel much of anything. That car had come out of nowhere, ignoring the rules of the road. You were so happy to find a place that was within walking distance of your job and necessities. But it all seems pointless now.

Tears begin to fall from your eyes as paramedics just now get to your body, asking you questions but nothing registers. A crowd forms and you wonder if Hanta is warm in your apartment. Is Hanta aware? Is he okay? Will he be able to eat for the week? How will he survive without you?

Oh god you’re dying.

And now the tears fall faster as your heartbeat slows. The nurses try to help you, but you do manage to hear “too much blood loss” and “broken bones”. Will Hanta be okay? Will Hanta be okay? Will Hanta be okay?

“(Y/n)!!”

His voice, clear as day breaks through. You wonder if it’s all a dream, is he the light they tell you to avoid? You want to go to it. You see him clearly, fighting the police lines and medics barring him from entering the crime scene. You’ve never seen him cry and you never want to see it again. You want to comfort him, tell him it’s all okay. Where’s his umbrella? He’s going to get sick. You raise your arm toward him, but that takes the last bit of strength you had keeping you in this realm. 

The last thing you hear are his wails of pain as he feels the strings connecting you both being aggressively pulled apart, as the medics on scene cover your body.

~~~~~~~

I’m sorry 

The diner is open

[horansqueen]

Stuck With You - Chapter 14

Chapter 14: I Really Like You

🡪chapter 1  🡪chapter 2  🡪chapter 3  🡪chapter 4  🡪chapter 5  🡪chapter 6   🡪chapter 7  🡪chapter 8  🡪chapter 9  🡪chapter 10  🡪chapter 11 🡪chapter 12 🡪chapter 13

College Enemies To Lovers AU

characters // masterlist // instagrams // mood board

I really wanna stop, but I just got the taste for it I feel like I could fly with the boy on the moon So, honey, hold my hand, you like making me wait for it I feel like I could die walking up to the room, oh yeah

It's way too soon, I know this isn't love

I really, really, really, really, really, really like you And I want you, do you want me, do you want me, too? I really, really, really, really, really, really like you And I want you, do you want me, do you want me, too?

It's like everything you say is a sweet revelation All I wanna do is get into your head Yeah, we could stay alone, you and me in this temptation Sipping on your lips, hanging on by thread, baby

Who gave you eyes like that? Said you could keep them I don't know how to act Or if I should be leaving I'm running out of time Going out of my mind I need to tell you something 

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                                              The text message I got of Niall telling me to join him to his car made something stir in my stomach. I rushed to the bathroom to look at myself one last time in the mirror, getting on my tiptoe and pulling on my shirt slightly before quickly running out of the building. I heard the honk of a car and it made my heart jump so high in my chest that I thought I was about to throw it up. It's only when I got closer that I noticed he was not alone. There was a guy in the backseat, and the girl sitting nesxt to Niall was the same girl I found laying beneath him the other day. My smile faltered and I suddenly felt nervous but Niall moved his upper body closer to the wheel to look at me by the window.

"Hey Devie, you ready?"

I glanced at Mandy before looking back at him, sending him a shy smile. I hadn't expected to be stuck in Niall's car with two strangers but I was new to this school and if I wanted to get to know people, I knew I had to make efforts.

"Mmhm." I replied, taking a seat next to the guy who sent me a short nod.

"Okay, so. Devon, this is Mandy and her brother, Noah."

Mandy quickly turned around to take a look at me and sent me a smile. "We've met." she pointed out with a chuckle. "Sorry for the other day, I was a bit embarrassed to be caught naked."

My lips parted slightly and my breath caught in my throat. I sort of expected her to be an ass with me but the sincere smile she was sending me made me feel slightly guilty for thinking wrong of her just because she slept with Niall.

"No, it's cool, I should have knocked."

She laughed again, turning to look at Niall. "No, it's your room too." she corrected me. "It's Niall's fault, he should have told you."

"Sure, go ahead, pin it on me, i've got broad shoulders." he chuckled, glancing at her and making my heart drop in my chest.

Did he ever look at me like that? Was that feelings I saw in his eyes? And why did it even matter if he had feelings for her? I looked down and licked my lips, coming to the realization that it mattered because I liked Niall. I really really really liked Niall. Fuck.

"Everyone makes mistakes, Niall." Mandy joked, tapping his thigh gently. "You're forgiven, right Dev?"

I looked up and blinked a few times when she said my name and pressed my lips together. She was sending me an amused smile and I tried to smile back at her.

"O-Of course."

I felt something stir in my stomach and my eyes met Niall's in his rearview mirror. His gaze changed slowly into a fond look and my lips curled slightly more until he blinked a few times and glanced down. I looked down too only to see Mandy's hand gripping his thigh a bit harder. She moved one of her legs up, putting her foot on the bench before leaning her head against the bench, still looking at him.

She was pretty. She was much prettier than I always would be and I was well aware of that, and I just closed my eyes, trying to think about something else.

"So Devon. " I heard, making my eyes flutter open again. "What are you studying in?"

I turned to look at Noah and sent him a small smile. "Oh, art." I replied in a low tone. "Mostly painting and drawing."

"So, you want to be a painter? That's bold." Noah replied, running his hand in his blonde hair. "I'm all for following your dreams but do you have a plan B?"

"Yea, I'd like to work in a museum, maybe. Restoring historical works of art seems... very amazing." I explain, a bigger smile appearing on my lips.

"Devon doesn't need a plan B." Niall quickly replied, glancing again in his mirror. "She's super talented, she'll be a famous painter someday."

I felt my heart jump again in my chest and pressed my lips together as I tried not to smile too much. It was a bit funny since I was pretty sure Niall had never seen anything I had painted before, but I still appreciated the comment for a reason I ignored. Perhaps because it showed that he was not totally indifferent to me and knowing that he was ready to defend me on something like that made me feel special.

Of course, I knew that concretely, Noah was right : I would probably not end up being a famous painter and certainly wouldn't be able to live a decent life with the money of a few (if even) paintings sold, but it was okay, because I didn't want my biggest passion to turn into a job. I wanted it to remain a passion and a hobby, something I could do to let out all my feelings, something that would make me feel better after a long day or after a heartbreak. I needed painting like I needed to breathe and I didn't want to end up hating it. Obviously, sometimes it was frustrating when I wanted to pain something and it didn't turn out exactly how I had imagined, but It was different than making a job out of it and disliking it to the point of not wanting to do it anymore. If I lost my passion for painting, I knew I would lose a part of me.

It only took a minute of two before Niall parked his car and we quickly got out. I followed them to the entrance and we hopped in an elevator to reach the fourth floor. We could hear the music from the hall and I started feeling so nervous I had to wipe my hands on the back of my jeans. When I looked up, I met Niall's gaze who frowned as he mouthed 'are you okay?' and I just nodded, sending him a small smile.

I was not really okay but at the same time, i didn't want him to feel like he had to take care of me, scared that he'd never invite me again. The only thing that made me feel better was to notice that Mandy and Niall were not holding hands, or even remotely close to each other. I sort of had expected it but realizing I was wrong made me feel less stupid for accepting to go to this party.

The door opened and a whiff of cigarette and weed smell reached us. I was too busy staring at the guy in front of us, a large smile on his lips, as he greeted us with open arms.

"Niall!"

"Hey, Lewis."

They hugged and when Niall pulled away, Lewis turned to me. I didn't know why but I sent him a smile as his lips curled slightly into a smirk. "Devon, it's nice to meet you."

I frowned, a bit surprised that he knew my name, but kept a smile on my lips. Niall probably had talked about me before and since I was most likely the only one he didn't know, he probably guessed it was me, but it was still a bit intriguing.

"Oh, uhm, you too."

I was about to hold out my hand but he took a step closer and pulled me into a hug. His hoodie smelled nice and I chuckled, hugging him back.

"Okay, free drinks in the kitchen." Lewis let out when he pulled away. "You smoke your own shit though I don't pay for that."

Niall walked past him, putting his hand on Lewis' cheek and tapping it gently. "How nice of you mate."

I followed Niall to the kitchen and realized Noah and Mandy had left. I stood behind him as he searched for something specific (or it seemed) and when he turned around to me again, his gaze met mine immediately.

"No best way to get drunk than with vodka."

I chuckled and frowned, finding some space on the counter and pushing myself up to sit on it. Niall's smile faltered a bit and his eyes roamed on me before turning around to grab glasses and filled them. He walked closer to me and I looked slightly down at him, taking the cup he was handing me. He clinked his glass against mine, the plastic of his barely making any sound as it hit mine, and took a long sip. I watched him and did the same, grimacing as the liquor left a burning sensation down my throat.

"So. uhm, are you moving out?" he asked casually before drinking more from his glass.

"I tried but I'm on a waiting list, sorry."

"No, no I think you should stay."

I waited until his eyes met mine and quickly, he shrugged and looked away. "I mean, we can just text each other when we have someone over. I'm sure it can work."

I felt my heart ache suddenly and lost my smile, looking down in my glass and shrugging a shoulder. What did I expect? Niall was clearly not going to admit he was in love with me and then tell me he'd never have sex with any other girl because he loved me too much! Then why did this scenario made my heart thump in my chest?

"Maybe. I don't know."

We remained silent for a few seconds and I felt him move closer to me, his lower stomach brushing slightly against my knees as a wave of warmth invaded me.

"Come on, I'll present you some people if you want."

"Mmhm."

He moved away and I jumped off the counter as an idea popped into my head. It was stupid and probably impossible but It was worth a try.

"Niall?" I asked, making him turn around and raise his eyebrows. "Maybe... your friend Lewis would need a roommate?"

His facial expression changed from confused to surprised but when his lips opened again, I couldn't really tell how he felt about my idea. It was probably a bad one anyway. I didn't know Lewis much and I was not even sure I could afford half of the rent, but if Niall wanted to get rid of me, maybe he could help me see if it was even remotely possible.

"Y-You want to live here? With Lewis?"

I shrugged as he took a step closer to me and I tilted my head. "I mean, maybe? It would be a solution. Just until they find a room for me in the girls' building. That way you can get your room back."

"But I don't-" he replied quickly, cutting himself and letting out a sigh as he closed his eyes. "I think it's a bad idea, Dev."

It took a few seconds but he opened his eyes back. They met mine and I sent him a sad smile, shrugging a shoulder. "Alright."

It was true, I didn't know much about his friend, but he gave me a good first impression and I thought Niall would jump on the occasion to get his room back if only to be able to invite Mandy (or any other girl) whenever he wanted to.

I followed him to the living room as someone handed me a beer and everyone started talking. After a while, I got up and left to go to the bathroom and when I got out, I walked past Lewis, sending him a small smile.

"Thanks for inviting me, by the way." I let out politely as I kept walking.

"Hey Devon!"

I turned around and he sent me a bigger smile. "You having fun?" he asked, his accent thicker than I expected.

"Oh, yes." I let out with a smile. "I'm surprised Niall invited me."

This time, Lewis laughed a bit. "I'm not."

I frowned for half a second and finally licked my lips, walking back slowly to him and shaking my head. "Look, this is going to sound so weird and, don't feel bad to say no but, wouldn't you be looking for a roommate?"

His smile fell slightly and his eyes roamed on my face, and it made me realize that he was quite pretty and I was not sure how I felt about it. He seemed a bit speechless though and I realized that I probably made him uncomfortable.

"Forget it," I added, shaking my head, taking a step back. "It was just something that crossed my mind."

"No, Devon, it's just..." he replied with a sigh as I was leaving. "Let's just say if I said yes, Niall would kill me."

I chuckled and rolled my eyes, shaking my head a bit. "I highly doubt that."

"Dev, trust me. I know what I'm talking about."

I frowned and it only made his lips curl as he raised his eyebrows before turning around and locking himself in the bathroom. I remained there, motionless and lost in my thoughts for a few seconds, and finally breathed in deeply and walked back to the living room. This time, I stopped completely breathing when I noticed Mandy was sitting next to Niall, her legs placed on his lap and one of her arms wrapped around one of his.

I felt a wave of nausea wash over me but swallowed hard. I knew it was only jealousy but it was enough to make me want to leave immediately. I licked my lips and took big breath, trying to get back to my senses. I couldn't just rush out and leave without an explanation and I couldn't tell Niall I left because the girl he has sex with was all over him. Just thinking about it sounded ridiculous and I walked back to them, taking a seat on the floor, in front of the coffee table. Niall glanced at me and his lips curled slightly on the left. Could he tell it was bothering me?

Everyone started playing beer pong but with vodka and I watched them swallow the content of their glasses with a smile. I was not very good with drinking and could easily get drunk but I still enjoyed looking at them. Lewis came back after a while and handed me a beer. I thanked him as he sat next to me and when I turned back to Niall, he was looking at his friend with a frown. My eyes dropped to Mandy's legs still placed on his lap and I just pressed my lips together, trying to ignore it.

About half an hour later, I was leaning on the table, trying not to let my thoughts wonder too much. I looked at Niall who was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes and watching him being so drunk reminded me of one of the first days we met. He was drunk and had tried to show me his cock. Now, I was a bit scared he was going to show it to someone else. The thought of his half-hard dick pressed against me as he kissed me made my inner thighs throb again and I held my breath. I would never get over that.

"Mandy, you're definitely cheating!" Noah let out a bit too loud, moving his chin in his sister's direction. "That's fucking water, innit?"

"You're just pissed because I can hold my drink better than you!"

"Don't even try, you've cheated before!" Noah insisted.

I stared at the scene with my eyebrows raised, noticing that I was myself getting a bit too tipsy but it was clearly nothing compared to them.

"Want a proof that this isn't water?" Mandy asked, getting a bit mad.

"Yes!"

I didn't expect it at all when she turned around quickly and crashed her mouth against Niall's, quickly deepening the kiss as she held the back of his head to make sure he wouldn't move. I felt my heart shatter in my chest as an image of them having sex on his bed crawled back in my thoughts.

Everyone started yelling and laughing except me. I was not tipsy. I was drunk off my ass. How many drinks did I have? I couldn't count, but I knew it was partially why my eyes were filling up with tears at that exact moment. I was not dating Niall and I was well aware that he and Mandy were fuck buddies, so why did I become so emotional from them kissing? I was pissed but most of all, I was pissed at myself for letting something like that get to me again.

I had admitted to myself that I liked Niall and even if I knew it was unrequited, I was clearly not okay with watching him kiss someone else. Where did my resolution to do anything I could to hate him go? What the fuck was I doing?

I held my breath as they kissed, not able to let air fill my lungs, but it seemed like that kiss would never end and after a while, I put my beer on the table and got up. It was only when I reached for the elevator that I allowed tears to fall down my cheeks.

"Fuck off." I whispered to no one as the doors opened and I walked in, turning around to lean against the wall.

And I saw him. I saw Niall, getting out of the apartment and looking around himself until he saw me, and my lips parted.

"DEVON!"

The doors started closing just as he started running but I remained motionless, wondering if the doors would close before he could reach the elevator.

"Devon wait!" he let out, sliding his arm between the doors and making them open again. "Devie."

I let my eyes roam up and down on him, my mouth still half opened. He finally stepped foot in the elevator but remained standing up in front of me as the doors finally closed behind him. We started going down and he shook his head slightly.

"Devie, why are you leaving?"

I frowned, ready to throw at him everything that was actually wrong with him and not even feeling bad about it because of how intoxicated I was but I didn't have time: the power seemed to go off, the lights flickered and the elevator stopped.